#homme means man in french

[ricekrispyjoints]

this one's for the franglophones out there

[blue-eyed-beastie]

A Closer Look at Belle's Book: Part II

In Part I, I went into some detail about the illustration inside Belle's book, but now I want to turn the page, so to speak.

Thanks to the magic of 4K, I was able to zoom in on some details in Beauty and the Beast that I had never noticed before, and this time I wanted to see what story Belle was reading. I've seen theories that it was either foreshadowing Aladdin or referencing Sleeping Beauty, and I myself noticed that it bears some artistic resemblance to Snow White... but it turns out that it has nothing to do with Disney, or its fairy tales.

It's something else entirely, and it's in French!

After zooming in and studying each frame, I managed to make out the following text:

une languissante sirene! Enfin, il sera bientôt heureux, si c'est là ce qui doit causer son bonheur. Je sais que je suis agréable à regarder, puisque j'y ai du plaisir moi-même, et de ce plaisir je ne priverai pas mon mari, au contraire. Je ne sais si je l'aimerai, je l'espère; mais je veux qu'il m'aime lui, et je ferai pour lui plaire tout ce qui lui plaira. Ah! chère Adélaïde, je suis pleine de rêves absurdes et de pensées contradictoires! Je songe à des choses qui me semblent à la fois douces et vilaines, et j'ai des imaginations qui me font rougir en même temps que pleurer! Au moins, je ne m'ennuie pas. Je vis plus en une heure de ces journées que l'an passé je ne vécus en toute l'année. Chaque heure me renouvelle, me grandit et m'épanouit. Je me semble un rosier qui fleur rirait à vue d’œil, je suis fraîche et parfumée; je suis légère et forte: j'attends le bonheur. Paul est plus beau que je ne l'avais encore jamais tu. Il est pâle avec de grands yeux pleins de fièvre et d'amour. Je le trouve sublime quand il s'agenouille près de moi pour me regarder comme en prière. J'ai envie de le prière aussi, parfois, et de coucher ma joue sur ses genoux, mais quand j'ai cette envie-la, je me fâché contre moi-meme et je boude Paul.

Which, roughly translated into English, means:

a languid siren! Finally, he will soon be happy, if that is what will make him happy. I know that I am pleasant to look at, since I take pleasure in it myself, and of this pleasure I will not deprive my husband, on the contrary. I do not know if I will love him, I hope so; but I want him to love me, and I will do whatever he pleases to please him. Ah! dear Adelaide, I am full of absurd dreams and contradictory thoughts! I think of things that seem to me both sweet and ugly, and I have fantasies that make me blush and cry at the same time! At least, I am not bored. I live more in one hour of these days than I lived in the whole year last year. Each hour renews me, makes me grow and blossom. I seem to myself a rosebush that blooms laughing before my eyes, I am fresh and fragrant; I am light and strong: I await happiness. Paul is more handsome than I have ever seen him before. He is pale with big eyes full of fever and love. I find him sublime when he kneels down next to me to look at me as if in prayer. I want to pray to him too, sometimes, and to lay my cheek on his knees, but when I have this desire, I get angry with myself and I sulk at Paul.

By the way, there is one more sentence (maybe even two) at the bottom of the page that is partially obscured by Belle's shoulder and right hand. It may or may not be important to the rest of the excerpt, but for completion's sake, I'll share it here:

Il est ... maintenir un homme dans les ...

Which translates to:

He is ... to keep a man in the ...

Intriguing, isn't it? What was she trying to say?

Overall, the author appears to be an unwed woman dreaming of her future marriage to a man named Paul. Her confidante is someone named Adelaide, but I suspect she is actually writing to herself. Regardless, she is either betrothed to Paul or she longs to be, since she calls him her husband. Perhaps it is an arranged marriage? She goes on to dwell upon his handsomeness, and how she longs to be close to him, but then she gets angry at herself for feeling this way. The last line of the passage is incomplete, but my best guess is that the author is saying that Paul is not to blame for her sulking, so it is not right to keep a man in the dark, i.e. ignorant. I could be wrong, though. In any case, she is conflicted about her feelings on the matter. You could even say that her feelings are "new, and a bit alarming".

I can see why the filmmakers chose this passage for Belle's book.

It may not be a fairy tale, but it certainly has elements from the film. There are references to beauty, roses, imagination, and eyes filled with love, and passion.

Belle:

"Oh, isn't this amazing? It's my favorite part because—you’ll see Here's where she meets Prince Charming But she won't discover that it's him 'til Chapter Three!"

Do the lyrics match the story hinted at on the page itself? No, but I really respect the filmmakers for going out of their way to include this kind of detail in the film. They could have taken the easy way out, by writing out something like "Once upon a time" to echo the opening narration, or used "Lorem ipsem" Latin filler, or even meaningless brush strokes just to fill the page... but they didn't. They chose something in French that Belle herself might have liked to read. And I think that's really cool.

[woman-respecter]

Sending this to u because u are an incredible Jewish feminist and this really needs attention :(

Three antisemites attacked a French Jewish woman, threatening her with a knife while calling her antisemitic slurs, including referencing the October 7 massacre. The police identified swastikas graffitied on her body.

https://m.jpost.com/breaking-news/article-823767

A French source said this: Trois hommes l'auraient frappée et auraient proféré des menaces antisémites. Les individus auraient également menacé leur victime à l'aide d'un cutter et l'auraient forcée à baisser son pantalon. THEY FORCED HER TO PULL HER PANTS DOWN. https://www.cnews.fr/faits-divers/2024-10-07/paris-une-femme-victime-dune-agression-antisemite-par-trois-hommes-dans-le

This hate crime is getting no attention. Idk what to do. Jewish women are constantly let down by everyone.

In September, a memorial garden in Nogent-sur-Marne, France, dedicated to two female victims of gruesome antisemitic murders in Paris in 2017 and 2018, respectively, was defaced with a swastika.

https://www.jns.org/france-antisemitic-tag-at-memorial-for-murdered-jewish-women/

It gets fucking worse. One of the victims was Halimi, an Orthodox Jewish woman in her sixties, died in 2017 after being pushed out the window of her Paris flat by a man who was shouting "Allahu Akbar" during the act. Her killer got away because the french court determined he was "in a psychotic state from marijuana use" and therefore couldnt be held criminally responsible. IN 2021. https://www.timesofisrael.com/top-french-court-wont-prosecute-jewish-womans-killer-because-he-was-on-weed/

thank you for informing me of this, it is absolutely disturbing. for those reading this post, this may sound like old news (bc there have been so many attacks on jews in france in the past year) but the linked articles are from oct 2024.

man what the FUCK is going on with french antisemites. the halimi case (which i posted about back in 2021) and then the 12 year old girl who was raped, and now this. not to mention the hundreds of incidents that didn’t make the news.

tye sad reality is that most of tumblr, including self-proclaimed “feminists” will actively try to ignore this because caring about jews is really not in vogue rn (i mean it never was but now its seen as particularly un-progressive.) it makes me want to scream. ugh.

[charlesslut16]

-mine-

summary : Max and you talked, so charles got jealous...

PAIRING : charles leclerc x fem!reader

WARNINGS : +18. SMUT, oral(female receiving), dirty talk, badly translated french and italian, curse words, unprotected sex (be safe!)

masterlist 

You were standing in the Red Bull racing garage speaking with Daniel, Christian and max. Charles had just gotten a DNF, while Max was the first one on the podium.

Charles stormed into the Red Bull garage, said hello to the three of them and got a hold of your wrist, so he could pull you with him into his driver's room. Once you both were in his room and stood in front of him. 

"Vous a-t-il touché?" he said in a low growl. Approaching you like a predator catching his prey.  His eyes were a storm. His face was touched with... violence. Did he touch you?

" Pourquoi la merde vous en soucie-t-elle?" You snapped, not getting why he was suddenly so interested in your love life. He was close enough to fill your senses with his scent. Why the fuck do you care?

"Answer my fucking question, mia cara." charles snapped back. 

"And what if he did?" You were playing with fucking fire, you knew it, but you couldn't seem to stop challenging him.

His hands were trembling when they reached for you. You sucked in a sharp breath when his hot skin touched you around his neck very lightly. His breath hit your lips when he dangerously deep said :

"Then he will be a dead man at the end of the day. I'm going to repeat this question for the very last time, ma jolie fille. DID. HE. PUT. HIS. HAND. ON. YOU?"

You narrowed your eyes at him, anger vibrated in your veins. Only through clenched teeth, you managed to say, "Not yet. But that doesn't mean-" his mouth crashed onto yours, stopping you from forming, your sentence any further.

You wanted to push him away. You wanted to pull him closer. Not only that, but you wanted to taste every part of his body. You bit your lip. You could taste his blood on his tongue when he pushed it right in to your mouth.

Having you breathless all over again. It looked like he was forcing himself to pull away from you. Like you were acid that he didn't want to touch when he lowly said through heavy breaths.

"S’il vous a touché ce qui vous semble, ce qui a du goût et qui ressemble au mien, il sera un homme mort, vengeur. Vous détenez le pouvoir sur sa vie. Décidé si vous vouliez le gaspiller ou non." If he touched you what feels, tastes and looks like mine, he'll be a dead man, vengeance. You hold the power over his life. Decided if you wanted to waste it or not.

"I'm not yours"

"And that's where you are very wrong, mia cara" charles answered before he took both of your wrist over your head and pushed you against the wall of charles drivers' room.

You looked at him speechless. You wanted to tell him to fuck him self, but no words came out of your mouth. Every ounce of self-control left your body as you saw the look in his eyes. Full of lust and anger.

"Vous n’avez pas une grande gueule maintenant, n’est-ce pas?" You do not have a big mouth now, do you?

Before you could say something, he kissed you, putting one of his on your face and the other hand on your waist, pulling you closer to him, so you couldn't get away.

Without breaking the kiss, he pulled the straps of your dress down and pulled it down fully, so you were only standing in front of him in your panties, bra and high heels. Charles broke the kiss and looked you up and down and said :

"Tu fais vraiment comme si tu étais fait pour moi. Seulement moi." You truly do like you were made for me. Only me.

He pulled you against him again, so he could pull you to his couch and push you on it. As you laid on the bed, Charles crawled over you and kissed you again, while he opened your bra and threw it on the floor.

"Charles please"

"Use your word, mon amour"

"Please... Please fuck me..."

"I think you need a punishment, for nearly letting him touch you."

Charles answered as he pulled your panties down, threw them away, looked you up and down, now fully naked, and pulled you a bit down, so your feet were dangling off the couch.

He kneeled before the couch and kissed your thighs up until your pussy came into his view. He looked at your face for consent and thrusted one finger in your pussy.

You moaned as he thrusted another finger in your pussy and then another, until you were on the edge of cumming on his fingers, but charles pulled his fingers out of you and licked them clean.

"Charles, no... Please don't stop."

"You deserve it, mia cara"

Charles then pushed his fingers into you gain, until you were on the urge to cumming again, as he pulled his fingers out again. He did this for so long until you were overstimulated.

"I think you learned your lesson to never let anyone other than me touch you. Never"

As he said that, he unbuttoned his race suit, until it laid on the floor. Charles pulled you up a bit and crawled over you. He grabbed his cock and then thrusted into your pussy.

He didn't give you any adjustment time, as he thursted into you fast and full of lust. Not only that, but he grabbed your throat with one hand and gave it a light squeeze, while the other hand held you down, so you didn't get away.

"Tu ne t’évades pas, bébé. Vous prendrez tout ce que je donne." You don't get away, baby. You will take everything I give. 

"Tu étais faite pour moi, ma princesse, n’est-ce pas ? Tout à moi pour maintenant et toujours." you were made for me, my princess, weren't you? All mine for now and always.

After a bit, his thrust got slower and sloppier, which gave you the signal that he was near cumming.  You felt the familiar knot inside your stomach. He put his hand on your stomach.

"You feel me here, don't you, princess. Deep in your stomach."

You only nodded at him, as he came deep inside you with a moan. You did the same, you came around his cock with a loud pornographic moan. He stayed a bit inside you until he pulled out of you.

"Alors, qu’est-ce que c’était que de ne pas être à moi?" So what was that about not being mine? 

[flagbridge]

The Raoul (de Chagny) Navy: An Exploration of the Vicomte's Naval Background:

Our beloved Vicomte, Raoul de Chagny, is a young junior officer in the French Navy ("le Royale"), but this hardly gets much exploration. It's a detail that is often glossed over--I anticipate because Naval historians and Phans often do not have much Venn diagram overlap--until now. Let's just say my username is a Naval reference.

Note: the "Raoul Navy" is not my invention--our hilarious and wise "Phantom Dark Web" friends at Leroux Less Traveled (incl. @box5intern) came up with it, and I love it.

I've started digging into book Raoul and his Naval background and turns out we are missing out a whole lot about Raoul's character background if we don't dig into it. So I'm going to tell you what the book tells us and what that means. I'm going to give you the overall pieces up front, and then explain:

Raoul looks very young and feminine (except for his "little" mustache, which he effectively has grown to prove that he can)--and everyone treats him like a baby

Raoul at this point has already completed three years of Naval training including a world tour, so he is fairly experienced and even worldly for his age. He is described in the French as a "cadet", but he would likely be a sub-lieutenant at this point since he has graduated from the Naval Academy.

He's on a six month leave before going on a very dangerous mission to recover remains of a lost Arctic mission--a mission he himself is unlikely to return from.

And everyone still treats him like he's a baby (especially the old dowager widows), even though he has had quite a bit of life at this point--so he has something to prove.

What we know about Raoul and the Navy (Here is the English):

"He was admirably assisted in this work first by his sisters and afterward by an old aunt, the widow of a naval officer, who lived at Brest and gave young Raoul a taste for the sea. The lad entered the Borda training-ship, finished his course with honors and quietly made his trip round the world. Thanks to powerful influence, he had just been appointed a member of the official expedition on board the Requin, which was to be sent to the Arctic Circle in search of the survivors of the D'Artois expedition, of whom nothing had been heard for three years. Meanwhile, he was enjoying a long furlough which would not be over for six months; and already the dowagers of the Faubourg Saint-Germain were pitying the handsome and apparently delicate stripling for the hard work in store for him."

We also learn in another paragraph that the de Chagnys had admiral in the family, so the Naval connection is likely a family business for second sons. Raoul is a second son, so a career as a military officer would have been a distinguished career for him.

Borda: First ship

Brest is the main port of the French Navy and home of the Ecole Navale (or French Naval Academy. In the 20th Century it moved, but Brest is still, along with Toulon, a major naval base)

According to the French: Le jeune homme entra au Borda, en sortit dans les premiers numéros et accomplit tranquillement son tour du monde (Note that the French calls him a "young man", not a lad)

The Borda is traditionally the training ship of the French Navy, and there have been six of them. This would have been a cadet/midshipman cruise for Raoul. He would have been on the ex-Valmy, an 120-gun ship of the line, which became the Borda training ship in 1864.

The Borda is also the ship of the Ecole Navale (French Naval Academy)—this means that Raoul attended the academy.

The Naval Academy is two years in Brest, and then their third year is the World Tour—so that timing also aligns with where we are in the book. Raoul would have begun at the academy at 18, and he is at the start of the book, 21 years old.

After the Borda, which he completed with honors, he did an uneventful world tour.

This would have been his third year, still as a midshipman.

He could have been assigned to any ship for this training cruise—possibly a cruiser (the d'Estang is pictured below in 1884 in Algiers), which did long range missions. Note: Their max speed was about 15 Knots (which is a very respectable speed that some warships still transit).

This world tour cold have been as far east as what is now Vietnam, or through the Suez--but likely near French colonies.

With influence, he is assigned to the Requin expedition.

French: Grâce à de puissants appuis, il venait d'être désigné pour faire partie de l'expédition officielle du Requin, qui avait mission de rechercher dans les glaces du pôle les survivants de l'expédition du d'Artois, dont on n'avait pas de nouvelles depuis trois ans.

The Requin was a real ship in the Mediterranean fleet, but did not go on its first mission until 1885, which means that this is a deliberate or unintentional oversight of either Leroux himself or his narrator. The Requin was a steel hull—and the Artois was actually a 18th century Royal Navy ship so this piece is a complete fabrication. However, Arctic missions at this time were frequent and tended not to go well.

However, Raoul could also be excited about getting to go on a new steel-hulled ship. The Redoutable was already in commission—commissioned in 1876.  Most of the rest of the fleet at this point were ironclads.

[emotionally-damaged-carrot]

Charles leclerc x male reader

Reader and charles have been together 2 years but reader is alittle distant as of late missing races, etc and charles starts a fight about it and reader tells charles he doesn't want kids like he does and he needs to let him go

Destined to meet, not to stay

Charles Leclerc x Male reader

Sorry takes a long time for requests, lots of shit are happening in my life rn 🥹🥹🥹 hope you understand. Just realized I forgor to put a fight 🥹🥹🥹 my bad g 🥹🥹🥹

Warning: none (surprisingly)

I don't really know what vibes to give this, just went with the flow. The translation is from google, don't come at me please. If I'm wrong educate me.

I don't want this to be sad 🥹🥹🥹 I want to make a part 2 but I don't think I can. 🥹🥹🥹

"What's happening, Y/n?"

Charles raised his voice in our hotel room as he got back from fp2.

"What do you mean?"

I looked up from my phone at him from the bed.

"You're being distant, you're not going to my races anymore. You don't talk to me as often and you don't update as often, what's happening?"

He said, slowly walking towards the bed.

"I've just been busy."

I said softly.

"You weren't even there for my first home race win."

"And I'm sorry for that, you deserve better than that. You deserve someone who can give you what you want and need."

"I don't want someone, I want Y/n L/n, I want you."

He sat down on the bed and took my hands.

"I want you, and no one else, you're my boyfriend, you're the man I love. We can fix this whatever is happening in our relationship, don't say I deserve better when you are the best that I got."

He gently cupped my face.

"Tell me, mon amour, what are you going through, I'm here for you whatever it may be."

He caressed my cheek with the pad of his thumb. I looked at him, my eyes watery and my lip quivering.

"I can't do this, Charles."

I grabbed his wrists with my hands and removed his hands from my face.

"What do you mean? Y/n, you're going to throw away years of our life together, and for what?"

He looked at me with a frown as I sniffled.

"I-I c-can't give you, what you wan't, Charlie."

"What do you mean, mon amour?"

"Stop calling me that."

"Why? I love you, why can't I call you my love?"

"..."

"Talk to me, mon coeur, please, w-what's happening? Tell me, I'll help you."

He grabbed my hands in his, his face now confused and sad.

"That's the thing, you can't help, Charles."

"I-I can try, don't do this, Y/n."

I shook my head and looked at him, tearful.

"Y-you really, can't help, Charles. I don't want what you want."

"Stop being vague, p-please, tell me."

I chuckled as my hand went to his cheek, gently caressing it. He leaned into my touch and closed his eyes for a bit and let out a sigh of relief.

"I-I don't want kids."

He looked at me shocked and confused.

"B-but you said you wanted kids?"

He asked confused.

"I-I just wanted to support you, I just wanted you to be happy. But this charade can't go on anymore."

"Je peux attendre que tu sois prêt, s'il te plaît, ne me quitte pas, j'ai besoin de toi. tu es ma vie, s'il te plaît, O/n, je t'aime, tu es le seul homme que je veux, la seule personne pour moi. s'il te plaît, ne fais pas ça, O/n."

(I can wait until you're ready, please i-just don't leave me, I need you. you're my life, please, Y/n, I love you, you're the only man I want, the only person for me. please don't do this, Y/n.)

He suddenly burst out in french, going closer to me, hugging me as he spoke. I hugged him back tight, and buried my face in his neck. Breathing in his scent for probably the last time.

"I don't speak, french, Charlie."

I mumbled against his neck as I felt my neck getting wet.

"I can wait, Y/n, p-please, I-I can wait. Don't leave me, please."

His hold became tighter as I felt him rest his face on my neck and breathing irregularly while sniffling.

"I-I don't think, I ever want kids."

I mumbled out, my hands moving in soothing motions on his back.

"Please, y/n, d-don't leave me, I-I don't know what I would do without you. I need you, please."

I stayed quiet and let him weep while embracing each other. After a while I felt him become more relaxed, and heard gentle breathing coming from him.

"Charles?"

I whispered as I raised my face from his neck. I waited a few seconds and heard no response. I gently lifted his head, and saw his sleeping face, he looked peaceful.

"Maybe, just maybe, one day."

I softly said as I laid us both on the bed, me being on top of him as our embrace never ended, our hold stronger.

"I love you, Charlie."

[thefandomdirtymind]

alienstardust : i got an idea! angsty fluff! lol she is trying to impress someone, so she goes to sanji on how to start talking the other dude. he tells if he doesn’t complement her, than he’s no good. she says what does he mean. and he starts describing (in Frecnh) the way she smiles is beautiful, he notices the one dimple in her cheek is cute, and even with her chapped lips (teasing here) they would still the softest kisses. you can change it up! go crazy! <3 thank you, lovely!

Language of love Event : Sanji speak french !

A/N : Amanda ! Thank you for all your amazing support and trying to make this event an actual things and not just one of my crazy ideas! I hope you will like it even it didn't contain neither a chainsaw or an Omelette !

Sanji / OPLA Masterlist and Coming Soon

Let's Make A Deal

“ Sanji, I need your help right now, “ You say, taking the seat next to him. ” I really want to talk to that guy there, last tool left side of the bar, no no don’t look ! Please help me, what should I say ?!” 

Giving a small glare to the man of your interest, jealousy twisting his guts, Sanji quickly take a sip of his own drink before returns his gaze to you.

“ Love, if he hadn’t already notice you and complement you, he’s truly no good” 

“ What do you mean…?” You asked.  

“ Amour, Tu es facilement une des plus belle femme ici. La manière dont ton sourire illumine ton visage et adoucit tout autour de toi est incomparable. Ton adorable et unique fossette dans ta joue droite quand tu ries ou te mord la lèvre lorsque tu es nerveuse est une de mes raisons préférées de te faire rire. Et je suis sur “ Sanji said, passing his thumbs on your lower lips, cupping the side of your face. “ que même sèche et craquelée, tes lèvres doivent donner les plus doux des baisers. Un homme se damnerait juste pour y goûter “ 

* “ Love, You’re easily one of the most beautiful women here. The way your smile illuminates your face and smooths everything's around you is unmatched. Your adorable and unique dimple in your left cheeks when you laugh or bite your lips when you're nervous is one of my favorite reasons to make you laugh. And I'm sure that even dry and chapped, your lips must give the softest kisses. A man would damn himself for only taste it“     

Lost in the blue of his eyes, it suddenly seemed to you that the atmosphere, already hot, had gained a few degrees more. Even if you didn’t understand his little speech, you had the strong impression that he hadn’t said one of his usual corny pick-up line, but had speak his deepest truth.  

“ And…that’s mean…” You swallow, your throat surprisingly dry. 

“ That man prefers to watch the bottom of his drink that the beauty around him, he definitely not worth it” He simply replied. 

“ That’s not what you say, you touch my lips…talking about…something I didn’t understand” You protested, biting your lips. 

“ Hello dimple” The blond chuckles 

“ That’s not fair if you speak French, I don’t understand what you said I just hear pretty words ! ”  

“ Then let’s make a deal coeur en sucre *, you let me pay you a drink and I translate what I say. If after you still want to seduce that poor excuse of a man, fine I will help you. But if you choose to stay with me after, I win a kiss ” * Sweetheart

“ ...Deal” You nervously accept. 

As you followed Sanji to the bar, you knew at the way he had smile that the deal was over, the blond cook already had won his kiss.  

___

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[mademoiselle-cookie]

Moriarty the Patriot Vol. 9

"En troupeau"

(translation: "in a flock")

It's only in the french version, not the english one. I don't know japanese so I don't know if it's the original intention to use words this negative and insulting toward women. The issue is, even if it's just the french translators who did a massive mistake, I had no problem believing that was just the author casually insulting women (my money on the english translators softening the term. Also the eng ver I read was fanmade).

Maybe in another manga, I wouldn't have minded. Like if the character is supposed to be a misogynist and you're supposed to think bad of them for that and not agreeing with them. But Albert is not supposed to be a sexist asshole. And given the manga's striking record in its depiction of women, I don't feel lenient.

And that's just the beginning.

(first picture of the guests)

♫ Où sont les hommes ? ♫

No reason why there shouldn't be men at the tea party. Or at least why women shouldn't be accompanied by chaperones. Etiquette was very important back then, and you wouldn't leave a woman alone with a man. The Moriartys are ONLY men to the rest of the world. No one would leave them with women alone.

Good Manners

Noble women have all received an education in good manners. They are more subject to the severity of etiquette than men. There is very little chance of seeing them throw themselves at men by elbowing each other and calling each other "primbêche" (again, only in the french version. In the eng one, it's just "these girls...")

Especially if the person in front of them is of a different rank than hers. The hierarchy is very important within the nobility and determines who you can talk to, how, who to be friends with, who to marry…

Sure, I know bc I've read hundreds of romance novels about English aristocracy but the author prides themself on depicting the real England of that period and doesn't even know that? Any webtoon whose story takes place in an aristocratic environment knows that, even when it's not the same universe as ours.

So no, aristocratic women don't behave like groupies (and of course the Moriartys have groupies, what did I expect)

It's basic for an author to do research. How many authors have you seen joke that they'd be mistaken for serial killers if you looked at their history? Do you know how long I searched for descriptions of the pain of tattoos for a fiction I'll never write?

It's crazy to put so little effort into a story that claims to be ambitious.

Servants

Nobles are raised from birth to view commoners - including servants - as inferior. Often, servants are more of a piece of scenery than actual human beings. It’s not meanness, it’s just their upbringing.

Of course, that’s the theory. There are exceptions. But that’s what they are, exceptions. Which are generally kept to oneself, and not shown publicly. Noble women won’t openly swoon over the Moriarty’s servants.

And if they ever got hurt doing something stupid, they would be more upset about their injury than about the lost work of a servant. That's what happens when people are used to having everything served on a plate since birth.

(And in this situation, the servant would indeed have been at fault. In a party with many people, an element that can easily hurt was accidentally thrown by the hip thrust of a not very thick woman? Thank goodness there was no one behind.

The protagonists obviously think that these women are wild and stupid. Why didn't they babyproof the entire property? Especially the rose garden, which is a place they know will be very busy.)

Flirting

Obviously, the woman who dares to flirt with William in an aggressive and vulgar way is fat and ugly. All the others are pretty and thin, except her. She can't be a pretty femme fatale who is used to having men at her feet and thinks that William will be the same. She must be an idiot who has the audacity to think that William will be attracted to her, whose inner ugliness is reflected on the outside. It's not stupidly fatphobic at all.

Popularity

Why are the Moriartys so popular? They are handsome but in the eyes of the general public, that's about it. They are not the only men who are attractive and have good status/wealth. In any case, their beauty is the only criteria cited to justify the obsession they are the object of (and it is NOT the most important criteria for noble society). Nothing justifies the groupie behavior of apparently all the noble ladies . They are not k-pop stars. Will is just a mathematician, not even the heir, and he is the one who receives the most attention?

There is no accounting for likes - and dislikes. If people think Jayden Revri is average-looking, I can assure you that there are women who don't swoon over the Moriartys.

The art isn't bad, but it's not good enough to rave about the characters that much. So all these compliments ring hollow. Just like in R&C

The chapter is just: look how beautiful and popular the main characters are.

(I won't talk about these ladies swooning over a math class)

Secret

William was showing off by saying that he put protection systems in his office to protect their secret. But apparently, he didn't think of a very basic one.

Locking the door.

The girls who entered his office don't seem very bright like all the women in this manga, so I highly doubt that they picked the lock (and even less broke down the door). And if these very young, naive girls managed to do it, they need to put better locks. It should be easy with a genius like Von Herder.

Speaking of him, why is the secret meeting room in the basement so poorly hidden? How did the dog (who is just a dog with the intelligence of a dog, not a spy looking for the Moriartys' secrets) get so far? Its owner too? Is the entrance to the basement so poorly guarded?

There is once again a simple solution.

A door. Locked. Hidden by a curtain or a screen. Or even the same appearance as the wall. How did they not get caught before with such miserable discretion measures? (Well, they got caught, because William and his brother are too stupid to wear a mask)

Sure, there is the wine cellar right next door. Well, they might as well not put the secret room just next to it, especially if it has no protection against intruders. Otherwise, they could have put away everything that could be compromising. And I maintain, at least a door should be put in the basement entrance.

"King's scholars"

Of course the brothers got nicknames at school because they're so cool and smart. It would have been stupid to be discreet. Especially since one was known for being stupid. And another wasn't a noble at all to begin with (he didn't get bullied for that? Lucky him)

???

How does he know it's for William specifically? They don't know they've been exposed and Milverton officially has no interest in William.

Explanations please!

Sherlock

And one booger for Sherlock, one!

Court case

I have nothing to say in particular about the trial, I don't know enough about law or how it was done at the time. For MTP standards, it's pretty good since we're shown the reasoning and it more or less holds up. Nothing transcendent (I'm pretty sure no judge will side with a street kid demanding blood, over a nobleman) but of a quality expected for this manga. The problem is elsewhere.

It's William again.

There is almost no difference between adult Will and child Will. He has the same mentality, the same habits, the same level of intelligence, the same impressive culture compared to his peers. Even considering that he lived in a bookstore and is a genius, it becomes hard to believe when he can speak and manipulate so well at such a young age and has such a vast culture. William has been perfect and superior since childhood. His adoption into the nobility, his aristocratic education and the years passed have made no difference. He is essentially the same.

(this is a problem his brother shares, being exactly the same as his adult version while he is far from having received the education necessary for it to be credible. But he is very secondary and does not have the ridiculously intelligent side)

And all this would not have been a problem if he had FLAWS. Flaws are important elements for a character, it makes them endearing and above all credible.

Look at Edwin from Dead Boy Detectives. He is very intelligent, has an impressive memory and a gigantic library of knowledge (and extremely kind despite a tragic past and strangely neither racist nor sexist despite the context in which he was raised). But if he is my babygirl, it is because he is a fucking diva (also, the other characters can shine independently of him).

William has no flaw nor weakness, no prospect of evolution, nothing. He's boring.

"The most famous trial in the world"

The newspaper tycoon only learned about this story while investigating William. Even Bond didn't know about it. So not very famous, no.

(to be fair, in french, it's just "of the century". Doesn't work either)

Cruelty

It's ridiculous how much they try to portray young William as cool when he should just be crazy. He's a kid who's 100% ready to cut up another person. The MC are only the villains they're supposed to be when it's cool and edgy, otherwise they're classic good Samaritans. When those two notions are opposite.

Higher Intelligence

You discovered his identity because he didn't think to hide himself when leaving a crime scene. Stop saying William is smart.

I repeat myself but by dint of repeating that the MC are exceptional, it has no weight anymore (especially if it is not compensated by their flaws).

Lord of Crime

Glad to see non-noble people being skeptical about the Lord of Crime but it makes no sense that he is already so famous and popular. When we see the main characters act, it is usually very discreetly, like with Jack the Ripper, or Irene. So how did he becomes so famous? The general public has no proof that he actually exists, it is just a rumor, but everyone treats him like a real person.

Bendley

A person who lacks finesse and is not very subtle. I wonder if he is sincere because it is so exaggerated but that is a question that the manga asks itself so not so much a criticism. And he is clearly treated with respect - more respect than Sherlock.

Reputation

It is sad that Milverton is supposed to be a very bad guy and not subtle (not a flaw tho), but given the situation in the US, and even in France, I can't honestly say that he is unrealistic.

In conclusion, this image I found which sums up William and his gang very well

[aiglesperch]

French from Interview with the Vampire - Part I

I binged the series a week before, and to practice my French I decided to figure out the French sentences spoken in it.

If I missed anything, let me know in comments / reposts

"Seul l'impossible peut faire l'impossible" - Only the impossible can do the impossible (Lestat)

"Je suis désolé. Je m'amuse trope en privé" - I am sorry. I am having too much fun in private (Lestat)

"Ils sont toujours oublié" - They are always forgotten (Lestat)

PS - He actually says it like " Ils sont toujours..."

"Quand j'ai regardé un homme sortir un couteau de sa canne...et à pressé la lame contre le sternum de son frère" - When I watched a man pull a knife out of his walking stick...and pressed the blade to his brother's breast-bone. (Lestat)

PS - "Le sternum de son frère" => The brother's sternum / breast-bone

"J'espère que cela satisfait les oiseaux qui se perchent au cœur de votre esprit" - I hope that satisfies the birds perching in your mind's core. (Lestat)

PS - "Au cœur de votre esprit" can also mean the heart of your mind

"Fuck de mère du toi aussi!" - Fuck the mother of yours (Lestat)

"Est-ce que tu lui as fait faire ça?" - Did you put her up to this? (Lestat)

"C'est une fille curieuse" - She is a curious girl (Louis)

"Quelle jeune de quatorze ans remet en question son existence?" - What fourteen-year old questions her existence? (Lestat)

"As-tu déjà recontré un adolescent?" - You ever met a teenager before? (Louis)

[delusionalwriter02]

Hellloo!! Absolutely love your Instagram series so I thought maybeee I could request one for Ango? Take ur time!

Insta as Ango's GF

a/n : Hello dear! The Ango Insta is finally here, I hope you like it! Thank you so much for your request <3

<3 liked by Odd_a, Daze_i and 824 others.

Angst_o : From last night

Yn_theoneandonly : honey, you'll forever make me laugh with your juice

↳ Angst_o : I'm not an alcoholic

↳ Daze_i : because I am ???

↳ Odd_a : Yes.

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : I'm sorry to say it Dazai but yes, you're alcoholic

↳ Daze_i : Drinking from time to time isn't being alcoholic

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : denial is a river in egypt

↳ Daze_i : really ??? I didn't know

↳ Angst_o : You're a lost case

↳ Daze_i : I've never lost a case

↳ Odd_a : Didn't know you were THAT first degree

<3 liked by Daze_i, Angst_o and 385 others.

Yn_theoneandonly : even when we're together he's WORKING

Daze_i : working on looking good

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : never catch a break

↳ Daze_i : always with his books

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : can't see without the glasses

↳ Daze_i : and got a lot of money

↳ Angst_o : You're done ?

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : we just made a great song

↳ Angst_o : A *lame song

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : go back to your books, they seems sooo much more interesting than me

↳ Angst_o : Don't start a fight dear

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : take me on a date

↳ Angst_o : Then tell me a place and we'll be there

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : do it yourself

↳ Daze_i : you're in SO MUCH shit man

↳ Angst_o : Shut it

<3 liked by Odd_a, Sig_ma and 295 others.

Yn_theoneandonly : well this is a post dedicated to my amazing boyfriend who took us on an island because he CAN

Angst_o : Now, are you still angry ?

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : I'M SORRY but you needed those vacations too, you work too much

↳ Angst_o : You're probably right

↳ Daze_i : If I have to take a girl on a island everytime she's angry, I won't have any money left

↳ Odd_a : You're already broke

↳ Daze_i : I'M NOT, my wallet is always missing that's it

↳ Odd_a : Just stop losing it ?

↳ Daze_i : but it got his own mind

↳ Odd_a : It's an OBJECT

↳ Daze_i : and that "object" got feelings too

↳ Odd_a : No ?

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : go fight somewhere else

<3 liked by Angst_o, Odd_a and 758 others.

Yn_theoneandonly : homme capable

Daze_i : I don't speak that language c'mon

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : it's french, learn it

↳ Odd_a : "capable man" that's what she wrote

↳ Daze_i : Oda you're a real bro

↳ Daze_i : Yn you can speak french ?

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : a little, Ango is better than me

↳ Daze_i : HE CAN SPEAK FRENCH TOO ???????

↳ Angst_o : Why are you so surprised ?

↳ Daze_i : SAY SOMETHING ELSE

↳ Angst_o : Tu es extrêmement fatiguant et bête

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : LOVE YOU'RE MEAN

↳ Daze_i : ........ google trad told me really mean things

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : yeah, google

↳ Daze_i : how do you say "i'm not what you say I am, i'm a very funny person"

↳ Angst_o : "Je ne suis pas ça, je suis quelqu'un de très drôle" and no, you're not funny

↳ Daze_i : HELL YEAH YOU SAID IT

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : you're such a child

<3 liked by Angst_o, Odd_a and 638 others.

Yn_theoneandonly : a real gentleman

Angst_o : Anything for you, my dear

↳ Yn_theoneandonly : I love you

Hey! I hope you liked it ? I've had a lot of fun writing this, the next one will be Poe !

See you <3

[originalaccountname]

Fun BSD French translation details and choices - Episode 3 (by someone who does not understand Japanese but thinks the differences with the English translation/subtitles are fun)

General notes:

Dazai getting beat up in the closet by Kunikida sounded more like he was enjoying himself than anything else. When Dazai appears beat up on the floor before Kunikida closes the door on him, he says "suicidons-nous..." (let's commit suicide (together)), except it REALLY FREAKING SOUNDS like he's saying "c'est si bon ouuh" (it's so good ooooh)

Atsushi asks "Qui est cet homme?" (who is this man?) when shown Akutagawa's picture. Kunikida also calls him "this man". I did a double take simply because I apparently struggle to consider Akutagawa an adult male, he's just a guy to me.

The Port Mafia was slightly renamed to "Mafia Portuaire", which is basically the same thing. They could have gone with "la Mafia du port", which would have meant "the mafia that is from the port", but instead went with "Mafia Portuaire", which means it relates to a port or port activities. In easier terms, they named it like you would say "port town", instead of saying "that shop in the port".

Akutagawa has a deep voice here too, and uses the familiar "you" (tu) for Dazai, a bit surprisingly.

Today's quotes:

VF: Pour une raison très simple: la récompense juteuse mise sur sa tête au marché noir. (For a very simple reason: the juicy reward for his head on the black market.) Eng: Simple enough. That weretiger has a bounty on him from the black market.

VF: Puisque tu es... un ancien membre de la noble Mafia Portuaire. (Since you are... an ex-member of the noble Port Mafia.) Eng: Being an ex-Port Mafia member, Dazai-san.

[saint-jussy]

I know I've been in your asks before but I need a lecture on the ship "Saintspierre". I don't know the historical context behind it and why they get villanized so much. I'm a newbie when it comes to history. Thank you! :)

Hello again! So Saintspierre is the ship between Robespierre & Saint-Just of the French Revolution, who are often depicted as queer-coded villains in adaptations of the Revolution to serve as a counterpart to the Straight and Manly ™️ Danton. This happens because reactionaries are eager to push the narrative of 1789 being "the Good Revolution" and 1792 as "the Bad Revolution." Danton represents the Good Revolutionary, who advocates for change but is against offending too many moderates, while Robespierre is the Bad Revolutionary who brought on the Reign of Terror. They make Danton out to be a tragic victim who heroically tried to stop the Terror (even though he had a major hand in starting it and was corrupt af) and Robespierre out to be a gay psychopath who killed him out of jealousy. You can see this in La Revolution Francais (1989), Danton (1983), the BBC documentary, and many other adaptations.

For example, LRF goes out of its way to depict Danton as a loving family man, with a frankly excessive number of scenes of him making out with his two wives, while ignoring how he was a creep who sexually harassed women and that his second wife was 16. His close ally Camille is also depicted as very loving with his wife Lucile. Meanwhile, Robespierre is never shown being affectionate toward any women. The only person he has multiple close interactions with, besides his childhood friend Camille, is Saint-Just, who struts into his attention in part 2 and ruthlessly replaces Camille at Robespierre's side. Literally, Saint-Just's only character traits in this movie are being pretty and zealously urging Robespierre to kill Camille specifically. They even made up a scene where Saint-Just sends thugs to beat Camille up while making Camille think it was Robespierre who did it, so he can cause an irrevocable break between them. They give him no backstory, no explanation for his motivations, and completely erase his military accomplishments. He's just an homme fatale who lures Robespierre to the dark side with his pretty hair. This is a common tactic in works that struggle to reconcile the fact that Robespierre was on record being a pacifist who opposed the death penalty, opposed the war, and fought for the rights of the poor, with the propaganda that he was a monster responsible for the Terror. They blame his fall on Saint-Just.

Another tactic they use to villainize Robespierre is exaggerating his vanity. There is ALWAYS a scene where Robespierre gets his wig pampered. I mean, yeah, he DID care a lot about his appearance and never stepped out of the house looking like shit...but Danton wore a wig too. 99% of Danton's historical portraits have him in a wig, yet these works have him conveniently ditching it in most scenes to rock his Messy & Manly Natural Hair, and you will NEVER catch them showing Danton caring for his wig. No, only fops like Robespierre do that...even though it was just the norm at the time for lawyers to wear wigs. They put shady emphasis on Robespierre following 18th century fashion norms that have now become feminized, like wigs, lace cuffs, and stockings, to further queer-code him.

THOUGH, it's true that even historically, Robespierre was seen as a strange man in many ways. There are many contemporary accounts that rail on him for repeating things, being socially awkward, being blunt and callous, hating physical contact, having no emotions, being incapable of love--when from a modern lens, it's clear to me that he was just autistic. Like omg, leave the man alone. But when people want to villainize someone, they latch onto the traits that make them seem odd, that stray from typical societal expectations. When it comes to Robespierre, his villainization thus becomes very gendered, homophobic, and ableist, because he was 36 and unmarried and didn't abuse his power to sexually harass women and cared about his appearance and had a large female following and was most likely autistic. Meanwhile, Saint-Just gets exaggerated as a breathtakingly handsome twink who wore an earring and has a fancy bathroom that Camille roasted him for. Like omg, how dare a man have running water in his bathroom and not look like shit in the 18th century!!

Personally, I ship Robespierre & Saint-Just as a form of rebellion against this villainization. If they were gay, so WHAT? It would be cute. Fuck the homophobes. They did have a very touching relationship with each other. They shared many similar ideas and complemented each other's personalities and Saint-Just chose to defend Robespierre to the end even though he could've easily saved himself on the basis of his military merits by staying out of the drama. The fact that he was prevented from finishing his last speech, in which he defended Robespierre, is one of the saddest things in the whole goddamn Revolution.

Is there historical basis for their relationship being explicitly romantic? Most of their correspondences have been burnt, so we don't have much, but I ship it regardless in a historical fiction, What If? kind of way. Robespierre and Eleonore aren't romantically confirmed either, but nobody bats an eye when mainstream media or even historians treat them as "canon." I think that is very heteronormative, so I am ride or die for Saintspierre as protest. Some historians have pointed out that we have no records of any warm interactions between them, but I think they understood each other in a way that didn't require pleasantries, and that's what makes them so compelling to me. There's Charlotte Robespierre's infamous casual revelation that Saint-Just was Maximilien's 2nd favorite revolutionary, just after his own brother and OVER Camille. Then the Duplay testimony that Saint-Just would go up to Robespierre's room without saying hi to anyone else. It's these little things!!

Anyway, I'm leaving out a lot of details about precisely what Robespierre & Saint-Just were and weren't responsible for in history, but just know that they were two of the only clean, honest political leaders of the time. Never took a bribe, never embezzled, meant everything they said, were genuinely committed to the ideals they spouted. It's incredibly unfair that they, along with the other leftist paragon Marat, ended up with the worst reputations.

[thecapricunt1616]

The Bear & His Honey - Lucky 13

♡ Chapter Inspo:  Lyrics; "You are in Love" (Taylors Version) “You understand now why they lost their minds and fought the wars, and why I’ve spent my whole life trying to put it into words.”

♡ Summary: Carmy is filling in on 'The Jimmy Kimmel Show' for a sick guest that couldn't come, He stumbles in to Winnie's absolute favorite person- and is able to treat her to a night she won't ever forget.

♡ W/C: 24,019

♡ Posted Date: 03/13/2024

♡ A/N: Welcome to Lucky 13! I wanted to give you all a taste of what Carm+Winnie will be at some point. This chapter will have very little angst, & have mostly sickeningly sweet fluffy goodness! This is set at least 1.5 years in the future from the last chapter. This is kinda a “one shot” in a way, in the TB&HH Universe, I have been thinking of this chapter for a while, and it would make my heart sing for Carmy to have a night out with his favorite people & get to relax, and just be in love. Also- in this, Carmy has been attending group weekly, and learning more so how to express his feelings. I’m also excited to show my idea of how Carm would show a big romantic gesture like the one in this chapter, and just overall make himself feel really proud for showing Winnie how much she means to him. Also-  alot of things in this chapter (french speaking, JKS interview, etc) will make sense very soon!!! I just- it's too cute not to include hahahah I hope you enjoy this chapter :)) Also, the way while editing (I'm listening to TS obvi) - but genuinely as i'm editing them talking about the different songs- they were COMING ON SHUFFLEEEE!! That woman is a WITCH i tell you

♡ Warnings for BTC: Smut, Swearing - 'tis all *** Any dialogue that has ( ) after, is translation from French to English!! :) ***

➵ 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 ♡

➵ 𝐂𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐮𝐩 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ♡

If you like this story, please click #TB&HHPoll in the tags, & vote on the questions asked <3

𝒞𝒶𝓇𝓂'𝓈 𝒫.𝒪.𝒱.🧸

“Okay-okay baby- ask them!” I plead, Winnie gave me her adorable little frisky grin. 

“Ours... vous savez si vous êtes nerveux, ils peuvent le dire, et vous vous sentirez embarrassé après- respirer à treize pour votre Miel, s’il vous, plaît…?” -  (Bear... you know if you're nervous, they can tell, and you'll feel embarrassed after- breathe to thirteen for your Honey, please...)

She put her hand on my cheek and I took a deep breath, closing my eyes and silently counting to 13, taking a deep breath every odd number I counted in my mind, just like she’d taught me. 

“C'est mon bon garçon…Mon sexy homme…” (That’s my good boy…my sexy man…) she said gently as I exhaled. 

“Now, like we said, imagine it’s me asking you all these stupid questions, they won’t go off script, Ours (Bear)! Ils ont promise qu’ils ne le feront pas (they promised they wouldn’t).. S’you just have to say the exact same answers we rehearsed the last two weeks, oui?” She cupped my cheeks, stroking my cheekbones gently with her thumbs. 

“Oui,” I whisper. “me poser leur première question” (Ask me the first question), I muttered nervously, relishing in the feeling of her cool fingers against my hot cheeks, giving me at least a small sense of relief. 

Thankfully - When being asked to be a fill-in guest on The Jimmy Kimmel Show -  they'd prepped me- us- with questions they’d be asking, so I wasn’t a blubbering mess on live tv. 

“So, Carmen, you are notorious in the kitchen industry, for calling all of your back of-house staff - Chef, as a term of endearment, or- furthermore a term of respect… Now that you’re so widely known at least in the Chicago area- but even more so the greater North America region, as being a very widely appreciated Chef, “ she giggled adorably, looking at me through her lashes before continuing. 

“Does everyone that recognizes you on the street, and call you by your title of Chef? Maybe…Executive Chef Carmen? Do they treat you differently?” She asked with a cheeky grin.

I held back the urge to tease and joke with her, clearing my throat and trying to remember the answer we’d come up with together. 

“Yes, Chef” I joked, giving her a playful smirk. “I notice when we- er- fuck sorry baby-“ I shook my head, looking at my lap nervously, biting the inside of my lip, squeezing her thigh. 

“Ours” (Bear) she said softly, stroking the back of my hand the way that made my heart thump so hard it felt like it’d jump out of my chest, and I look up at her, my eyes bouncing between the freckles on her cheeks, every other thought dissolving like sand through my fingers. 

“Allez, Ours, Tu vas y’ arriver.” (C’mon, Bear, You got this) she whispered, squeezing my hand assuringly. 

 I cleared my throat, newfound confidence due to her belief I could nail this coursing through me. 

“My girl and I,”  I continued confidently, “ “When we go out, especially in Chicago, or The City, but really any big city- people are more apt to give me a table if I call, So…She calls most of the time- and when we get there…the Exec. usually comes out to greet me after we’re settled, and tell me the meals no charge, but- My girl and I like a true experience, she keeps me honest” I leaned forward, pecking her lips gently and she smiles wide. 

“Coeur faible connard” (soft-hearted asshole) she teased gently, mushing her nose with mine sweetly before stealing another kiss. 

“Sorry-“ I pulled away teasingly “So…I shouldn’t offer a kiss to the host? Ce serait trop, bien?” (it’d be too much, right?) I joked and she rolled her eyes, grabbing my collar and pulling me back to her lips- kissing me hungrily. 

“These lips are mine. Only mine” she mumbles before kissing me again. I smiled into her lips, rubbing my hands down her hips and squeezing the flesh beneath her dress gently. 

“Mmm- baby” I pull away gently. “They said 15 minutes 4 minutes ago, I’gotta get mic’d.” I rest my forehead on hers and she cupped my cheeks, planting gentle sweet kisses all over my face. 

“Remember” she said between various smooches over my face. “I’ll be in the first row” more kisses “5th seat from the left” kiss, kiss, kiss - “look at me if you get scared ” - kiss, kiss - “I’m with you the whole time.” One final lingering, sweet kiss on my lips. “You’re goin’ out there to kick ass and take names, Bear. Nos âmes sont toujours liées ensemble…” (Remember that our souls are always tied together…)

“Right” I said softly, looking up at her, memorizing each freckle adorning her cheeks for the millionth time. “Bien, Nos âmes sont à jamais liées, Chérie.” (Right, our souls are bound forever, Sweetheart.)  I said lovingly, playing with the ends of her auburn curls between my nervous fingers.

She leans in, barely brushing my lips. “What do we say?” She whispers, so close her lips catch mine as she spoke. 

“Laisse-le déchirer” (Let it rip) I said softly into her lips before kissing her passionately.

“Oui, Mon Ours. Laisse-le déchirer” (Yes, My Bear, Let it rip.)  She said softly when she pulled away, gently running her knuckle over the veins of my neck, the action she only did while utterly exhausted, overly horny, or unable to mess with my hair. 

“Je t’aime, mon miel” (I love you, my Honey)  I whispered softly into her skin, feeling her gently rub over my back with her nails. 

“Fais confiance en ton instincts et lâches-vous, Ours.” (Trust your instincts, and let go, Bear) She said softly into my ear. 

I swallow tightly, racking over my brain through all the French she’d taught me- coming up blank, other instincts, and my own name. 

“Mon instincts en bon pour votre ours?”  (My instincts are good for your Bear?) I questioned softly, kissing her collarbone gently. 

She giggles, “Trust your instincts- Fais confiance en ton instincts- And let go- et lâches-vous, Mon Ours.” (My Bear)  She kisses my forehead sweetly 

I swallowed thickly, nodding a bit and looking up at her through my lashes. 

“Je te promets…Je vais suivre mon instincts”  (I promise you…I’ll follow my instincts) I mutter into her skin as she gently strokes my cheek, my eyes fluttering shut at the soft touch. 

“Je crois en toi, Mon Ours. Je crois en toi.” (I believe in you, My bear, I believe in you.) she whispered, rubbing soothing circles into my back. 

“Tu me fais croire en moi, mon miel.” (You make me believe in myself, my honey) I kiss her neck gently and there was a soft tap at the door.

“Come In?” I said, the door creaking open a bit.

Were interrupted by a short brunette in a black T-Shirt and jeans, wearing a stage headset. “Mr.Berzatto, you’re live in 15 minutes…we need to get you mic’d - we can have a stage manager take your…wife…down to the family and friends section, her seat’s been reserved” A bright blush came to my cheeks at the assumption.

“Je crois en toi, Mon Ours” (I believe in you, my bear). Winnie said, getting off my lap and smoothing her dress down.

I gently tug down the hem of her dress out of habit, “Merci miel. Je t'aime tellement bébé. Je te chercherai, oui ?” (Thank you honey, I love you so much, baby. I’ll be looking for you, yeah?) I said, smoothing out the silky fabric over her bum and she nods, smiling big. 

“Si tu fais le bien ce soir, je te laisserai m’avoir comme tu veux, Mon Sexy Chef Italien…” (If you do well tonight, I’ll let you have me any way you want, my sexy Italian Chef…) she whispered in my ear and my eyebrows raised, firey goosebumps rising from my neck to my ankles. 

“Mmmm- Oui? Petit diable sexy…” (Yeah? Sexy little devil…) I said softly into her neck, patting her bum gently. “Tu dois juste bien te tenir une heure, bebe, être une bonne fille - Je serai alors vôtre, mon monde” (You only have to behave for an hour, baby, then I’m all yours- my world.) 

She giggles, pulling away, “Not whore baby, say it like Taylor- say era” she said and my cheeks heat.

“Vraiment Bebe? Maintenant? Cours de français?” (Really Baby? French lessons? Now?) I ask as I rolled my eyes slightly, a smirk dancing on my lips. 

“Très bien, pas maintenant. Laisse-le déchirer, Mon Ours.” (Fine, not now, let it rip, Bear) she said, tucking her purse under her arm and I actually roll my eyes.

“Pas maintenant?” (Not now?) I huff frustratedly, again not understanding the new word.

“Seigneur! Vous avez besoin d’une leçon de Français, cela signifiait - ‘ not now’ - Dork.” (Jesus! You need a French lesson, I said - ‘Fine, not now’ - Dork!) she pinched my cheek gently.

“God, je vous aime tellement.” (God, I love you so much.) I kiss her lips tenderly. The woman at the door clears her throat.

“Mr.Berzatto…sorry to interrupt, but you’re live in 13 minutes and-” Winnie cuts her off.

“and where is my escort?” She chirps with a friendly smile, turning around on the ball of her foot to face her.

“Uh- Sorry- they…Um…gimme a second” she quickly turned, walking down the hall briskly. 

“Ahhh” Winnie said, plopping back in my lap comfortably. “Nous avons maintenant le temps pour une leçon de français, Ours!” (Now we have time for a French lesson, Bear!) she chirps and looks back at me. 

I snort through my nose, “Tu as vu à quelle vitesse ils se….” (You saw how quickly they…) I try to think of the word, looking up at the ceiling and biting my lip. “se déplacer!!! Se déplacer ici, bébé” (Move!!! Move around here, baby.) I smile proudly and pat her side. “Tu vois, je peux être intelligent!” (See, I can be smart!).

“Mmm, je savais que tu es intelligent, mais nous devons travailler à renforcer ce triste ego, Ours” (Mmm, I knew you're smart, but we must work on strengthening that sad ego, Bear) she said and I crinkle my eyebrows, sad ego was all I really understood.

“Je comprends - ‘ l’ego intelligent, et triste ‘ – mais que signifie - ‘nous devons…ahhh- travailler? pour nous renforcer’?” (I understand the smart, and sad ego- but what does ‘we must work on … ahh - our confidence?’ mean?) I question, squeezing her waist gently. I knew she’d only give a proper lesson, if I was responding to her questions in French with what I knew.

“Ahhhh, Bon Ours ! 'nous devons travailler’ est ‘we must work’, ‘à renforcer ce’ est ‘to strengthen this’ “ (Ahhhh, Good Bear! We must work, to strengthen this) She said, pleased with my answer. I pat her hip gently, happy with the praise i’d earned.

“Tu es ma force Chérie…Mon tout” (You’re my strength, Honey...My everything)  I said resting my forehead on hers. She puckered her lips and I lean in, giving her a sweet kiss.

“Hi! Mr.Berzatto- you’re on in 9, Mrs.Berzatto, I’m here to escort you to your seat.” A small blonde, dressed in the same black T-Shirt and Jeans the last person to interrupt us was. 

“Je t'aime ours, souviens-toi de ce que dit Mikey” (I love you Bear, remember what Mikey would say) she said sweetly, getting up and pecking my lips. 

I smiled softly, giving her one of the first lines she’d taught me in response. “On se reverra bientôt, bébé” (Meet again soon, baby). She smiled proudly, squeezing my hand before heading off with the blonde. 

The brunette girl returned not to shortly after, connecting a mic under my shirt right below my throat, and leading me through the corridors. As we head down the hall, I heard an all too familiar laugh… Not one that I’d heard personally, but one that I’d heard hundreds of times while falling asleep on Winnies TV or her phone. 

I stopped dead in my tracks, my head snapping towards the door that the sound came from. ‘JKS - SPECIAL GUEST - TAS ‘ A plain sheet of printer paper that was taped to the door read. 

I blink a few times, reading over the paper 5 times, eyes almost popping out of my skull - TAS. 

I reach out, grabbing the shoulder of the woman escorting me backstage. “T-A-S?!” I whisper shout at her. She quickly got the message. 

“Oh- you didnt know” she said stupidly, looking at the door then me. 

“I have to meet her” I whispered, a plan forming quickly in my mind. She smiled and nodded, looking at her watch. 

“If she wants to meet you, sure, but you got a max of 4 minutes.” she said casually and my jaw drops. 

That worked?!

I nodded quickly in response, trying to find words that wouldn’t embarrass Winnie, as she steps forward much too casually for my taste, and just knocks on the door.

“It’s unlocked!” the same voice I knew all too well calls and she looks at me, extending her hand towards the door. 

“Shes a real sweetheart, but super chatty, so like I said- y’get four minutes.” she said and I swallowed thickly, fuck, I am supposed to open the dressing room door to the most famous popstar on Earth?! If I offend her, Winnie will absolutely break up with me. 

I took a deep breath, looking at her momentarily before twisting the door handle. Everything felt like it was moving in slow motion, my heart was in my throat.

Jesus Christ, I don’t fuckin care about this girl, I just care I make sure Winnie and Sadie have a seat at her show tomorrow night. 

She looks up as the door opens, blue eyes meeting mine. “Oh! Hey! You’re that guy getting interviewed? The chef,right? My boyfriend has been dying to try your restaurant! He just hates asking for favors, so he hasn’t called to rent it out- I hear you’re super awesome! Oh my god- so sorry. I’m Taylor, it’s nice to meet you!” she said casually, sticking her hand out for me to shake. 

It took insane amounts of casualty to not allow my jaw to fully unhinge at the sight of her. Winnie was right- she doesn’t edit her pictures - shes tall as fuck - shes like.. Taller then me?

I clear my throat, standing up a bit straighter, trying to find some semblance of self-control. “Yup- thats me, Carmen, Uh- Carmen Berzatto” I shake her hand, “Yeah- uh- wow….means alot, he’s on the uh- The Chiefs right?” I asked and she nods, smiling.

“Yup! Travis, I just sing- he’s so awesome, He loves Italian food even more than the field I think, ever since he saw that podcast you were on he's been stalking your menu! ” she giggled and I raised my eyebrows. She just sings?

“Uh- my girlfriend…Yeah- yeah…I don’t wanna embarrass her, but uh- Y’know, I could totally give you and your boyfriend any night you could possibly want, like-  the whole restaurant, just you guys- me and my right hand will personally make your meals - fully on the house, If you’d do me like…..one little favor-but it’s… it’s fine- if not…” I said and she stands a bit straighter.

“I love helping, what can I do?” she grins. Why the fuck does she seem so normal…and nice aren’t popstars supposed to be bitchy mean-girls that would’ve made fun of me in high school?

“my girlfriend- she like…worships you- fuck - not like a weird way - you just like…inspire her? Like? Alot- Your songs, uh- fuck- hold on…Fearless, I know thats one… uh- Sparks Fly? Oh! That one too um with the guitar...Mine? I think? And then- Oh! The Archer - she loves that one, and then I only know 2 others she really likes - sad ones….Bon Iver? With that dude” I questioned and she nods 

“Mmhmm! I think…Exile and Evermore” she nods and I snap.

“Thats it! Those ones- those are like…she loves you- she’s been…she’s been trying to get tickets for her and her best friend to your New York show this weekend since you announced it, she- fuck- she’d kill me if she knew I told you, but she’s cried because she didn’t get the tickets, shes been trying so hard and-”

“How many?” said the ginger sat next to her on the couch that was silent until now, and simply pretending I wasnt there while tapping away on a laptop. I look at her, slightly taken back it was that easy to convince her? Them both?!

“Uh-” I think for a moment- just fuckin send it, Carmen. If you’re gonna ask for a favor- ask for a damn favor. “F-Five? Like- f’me, and her, and - and she wants her best friend there, a-and-” the redhead interrupts me again.

“Done, Left of the diamond good? Second row? There is no row one” she questions 

“Gosh Tree! Can you let him talk? Sorry about her, shes a time freak” Taylor scolds, looking back at me, “We would love to have you there, and I’d totally like to talk to your girlfriend when me and Trav decide to come by- she sounds super cool!” she said as the brunette tugged at my sleeve.

“Mr.Berzatto, sorry- 3 minutes till you’re live, we have to go.” she said and I nod.

“Thank you- Uh, Taylor,” What the fucking shit- I’ve stared at this woman nearly every night on Winnies phone screen - now shes just here , in front of me?!

“Course! Super excited to try out your restaurant- Tree will call” she said as the brunette woman tugs my sleeve harder, dragging me out the door. 

Suddenly, I got the urge to tell her the thought that had been swarming in my head whenever we watched her tour movie for the past year. Even though we’d already were headed down the hall, her dressing room was still wide open so she’d hear me.

“The way you set up the ‘Tolerate It’ song is awesome, the whole performance is super touching- You have a great voice!!! But you kinda remind me of our cat when you knock the stuff off the table! Also- erm- f’r Winnie since she’d kill me if I didn’t say- Play Sparks Fly, And Mine- and Evermore all the way, please.” I called to her quickly as I was dragged away down the hal by the brunettel, hearing Taylor laugh loudly in response, causing a blush to form on my cheeks. 

Winnie would be beyond pleased to know I got her to laugh.

“Done! And Thank you, Chef! I love Cats!!!” she called after us and I smiled wide. 

“I know, Winnie told me! She loves Law and Order too! Olivia is a great name, my Niece is named Olivia!” I call back and I heard her laugh again.

 What the actual fuck- Taylor Swift?! I just spoke to Taylor Swift!? Why do I feel…Starstruck? Jesus Christ I owe Richie for telling me to pack Winnie’s special concert bodysuit she's been working on forever just in case I found tickets for them. 

“Here’s Berzatto sorry hes late- Main act wanted to talk to him- he’s live in 45” the brunette told the large guy she’d dropped me off in front of. 

He quickly checks me over, adjusting my jacket without asking, and rolling over my sleeve quickly with a lint roller and strapping a mic pack to my back under my jacket, quickly connecting it to the wire under my shirt. “On your name, wave, smile, walk” he said.

“Alright We have Berzatto comin’ out- Live in 5, 4, 3, 2” he said into his headset, backing away from me quickly and the curtain started to draw.

My eyes dart over the crowd, the lights were blinding, music started and my mind swarms.

What the literal fuck- what the fuck - Wheres Honey? - I just met Taylor Swift? I'm about to be on live TV - Don’t fuck this up, be like Mikey, listen to Winnie - Breathe to 13. 

My thoughts continued to race as the my eyes adjusted to the lights that were revealed from behind the curtain. “And Welcome Chicagos Favorite Chef- Carmen Berzatto! “ Jimmy said and just like the man ordered a few moments prior, On my name I started heading towards the arm chair, smiling and waving at the live audience as I was told. 

By the time I’d shook his hand and sat down, I felt numb- The answers to the questions Winnie and I had drilled to my head, swarming like an angry swarm of bees. 

“So, if you don’t know Carmen, Hes a Chef Prodigy from Chicago- he has two Michelin stars and isn’t even 30 as of yet, he has won the James Beard foundation award for up-and-coming chef as well as took home the award for the best new restaurant, all while he’s only been in the industry less than ten years,”

He continued talking as I scanned for Winnie. When I finally settled on her face I relax a bit, being able to think. She smiles wide when our eyes meet, blowing me kisses and waving excitedly. I couldn’t contain my smile as I look back over at him. 

“So, Carmen, Welcome, we’ve been told you’ve never done a live interview before - but you have been to plenty of award shows, you’ve been on red carpets, done podcasts over the past year- and I must say, on behalf of the public- you are one snappy dresser, please, tell us about the suit” he said and I chuckled a bit. 

“Yeah- thank you again for having me, It’s different being in front of a live audience but I’m honored to have even gotten the invite. But, uh- I really like Calvin Klein, their suits are just fantastic. My uh- my girlfriend though she’s the one who usually picks out my outfits for stuff like this, I trust er more then myself a lot of the time.” I said, my eyes finding hers again and she mouths an ‘I love you!’ Holding a hand heart up for me causing me to smile bigger. 

“Thats right! We have your girlfriend here Winnie is it?” He asked and my cheeks go pink I thought they promised they wouldn’t go off script?! 

“Yeah! Winnie,I could talk about her forever - she’s uh…she’s really special.” My eyes find hers again to see her blowing me more kisses. My heart flutters wildly she’s so perfect. 

“I assure you, my wife dresses me too i’m sure most of our male guests are dressed by their women” He chuckles, getting a laugh from the crowd. “So tell us,” he continued “You had won the ‘Best New Restaurant’ last year at the James beard awards, congratulations on that!” he said and he and the crowd clap, the teleprompter putting up a picture of The Bear that we had on our website to show us it would be on screen. 

“Now, i’d assume you get special treatment whenever you take the missus for a date night out on the town, right?” He asks and I chuckle, nodding a bit. 

“Right, right - so uh when I call especially around Chicago I mean” I shrug “most of the Execs are my peers so - of course we’re gonna get a table pretty easy. But I was actually surprised when we came back to the city this only the second time I’ve been back since I left to uh, head back home t’Chicago and open The Bear, but when my girl and I were out a few nights ago, we were just walkin around Soho cause she loves shopping and I love to spoil her even more of course,” I said, earning a few ‘aw’ sounds from the crowd “and we pass this group of guys, and one of em just goes ‘Yo! Sup Chef’ and I turned around cause I thought y’know- I’d know them from culinary school or one of my old gigs, and he just goes ‘Dude your hot ones interview was insane you’re a beast’ and ahh I didn’t really know what to say I’ve never been like recognized like that before” I said and he nods with a chuckle.

“Speaking of your Hot Ones interview- that has blown up since you’d done it 4 months ago- it’s currently sitting at 17 million views, You’d filmed that here in the City, So in New York do they usually give you a table? Give you free meals all that like back in Chicago?” He questions. 

“Well I like to try and keep it fair, fair as I can that is. So my girl, she calls up for us, usually puts the table under her name. But uh- yeah, yeah. We do get treated nice, they’ll bring out new stuff for us to try or give us a nice bottle of wine, which is great cause honey is a big red wine lover” I said my eyes flicking to her to see she was blushing, a wide proud smile plastered along her features, bringing a heat to my cheeks. 

After the interview was over, I was escorted back to my dressing room and found an envelope waiting for me at the dressing table. I walked over and opened it, taking out five row 2 tickets for tomorrow nights Taylor show. 

“Holy shit” I whispered to myself, staring at them in shock. She actually got me the tickets. Does this mean she’s really gonna come by the restaurant?! Winnie’s gonna flip. Fuck- we have to get back to the hotel or with all the excitement she’s gonna be exhausted and pissy on the flight home. 

I heard my favorite thing in the world in the hallway, Winnie’s voice. I quickly tucked the tickets back in the envelope safely, and put it hidden in my inside breast pocket for safe keeping. 

“Bearrr!” Winnie said excitedly as she opened the door before rushing over to me. I wrap my arms around her tightly, picking her up and spinning her around causing her to giggle “you did amazing ours (bear) so so amazing I’m so proud of you” she kisses all over my face and I smile, closing my eyes and relishing in her praise and attention. 

“I love you baby, so much” I kiss her lips sweetly, wrapping her legs around my hips and hiking her up further on my waist. “I missed you” I said when I pull away, kissing down her neck and over her bare shoulder. 

She giggled “I was right there, baby! The whole time” she runs her fingers through my hair and I hum at the feeling of her nails scratching that spot next to my ear. 

“Mm you weren’t in my lap though” I said and sit on the couch, my hands rubbing over her thighs and her arms, anywhere I could feel her soft, supple skin.

“Were still going to that bar right?! You deserve to celebrate baby.” She said, playing with my hair gently. I adjusted her C pendant around her neck I’d gotten her when we started officially dating, trying to think up a quick excuse, she’s gonna need a lot of sleep for tomorrow I don’t want her grumpy and tired at the concert. 

“I dunno baby…I think let’s just go back to the hotel yeah? Got up early this mornin’ wouldn’t you rather get some pizza and mozzarella sticks and watch a movie? Mm? We can cuddle? Have a nice bath?” I rub her arm and she pouted a bit. 

“Okay, can we go tomorrow though?” She asks and I nod 

“Course Mon Monde” (my world) I whisper and kiss her lips gently. 

By the time we got back to the hotel it was already midnight, and I could tell by the way she was walking her heels were hurting her badly by now on the walk up to our room. 

“Gotta get y’outta those shoes baby, y’re hips buggin’ you?” I ask, wrapping my arm securely around her waist. If I wasn’t holding the food, I’d already be carrying her. 

“Mmhmm, tired too. Glad we didn’t go out” she leans into me as the elevator doors closed and I smooched her temple. 

“Y’think I can’t tell when you’re exhausted, baby?” I teased, rubbing her side gently and she smiles. 

“Yeahhh, yeah. But we rarely get to go out, Bear. You’re too busy, I love going out with you, you’re a fun dance partner” she said looking up at me with a tired smile. 

I felt a blush creeping to my cheeks, smiling big. “I’ll only ever dance for you, my love” I kiss her forehead gently. When we got to the room, I set the boxes of food on the bed and helped her unzip her dress, grabbing her pajamas for her “get comfy princess” I told her before grabbing my grey sweatpants and white T shirt, shrugging off my jacket. 

“You look really sexy in that suit, baby. I wanna see you in suits more often, hopefully this interview will lead to more live ones…y’did so so sooo good bear, everyone was laughin’ and they really seemed t’like you” she slips off her bra, putting on my old ‘the beef’ shirt and some Nike leggings. 

“Thank you angel, it’s just really fuckin stressful” I said and started to unbutton my shirt. 

“I know, but no one is as good at handling stress then you, bear. You’re strong. Mon gros ours fort” (my big strong bear) she comes over, untucking my shirt and unbuttoning it the rest of the way. “Mmm you’re lucky there’s pizza waiting and I hate when it’s cold” she kisses down my neck while rubbing her hands over my bare chest and I smile, rubbing her back gently, caressing over the scar on her hip with my thumb. 

“Tu es une vilaine petit fille” (you are such a naughty little girl) I spank her gently and she giggles, looking up at me with those fuckin bedroom eyes she always did. 

“je suis ta petite pute, chef” (I’m your little whore, chef) she said, leaning in and kissing me deeply. I chuckle softly in to her mouth, squeezing her bum. 

“Tu as une bouche bien sale, Bebe” (you have a filthy mouth baby) I told her, brushing her curls from her in front of her eyes. “Le temps de manger ma douceur, c’est un grand” (it’s time to eat, my sweetness, you have an important day tomorrow.) I said and she raises her eyebrows. 

“What’re we doin?” She asked, sitting on the bed as told and opening the pizza box. 

“Patience, mon petit lapin” (patience, my little bunny) I smooth her hair gently and kissed the top of her head before taking off my shirt and dress pants, slipping on my pajamas before sitting down. 

“Can I get a hint?” She pleads, taking a piece of pizza out and having a bite. 

“Pas de conseils, seulement de la patience.” (No hints, only patience) I told her, grabbing a slice for myself and having a bite. 

“Je suis impressionné par ton bébé, français, as-tu étudié sans moi?” (I'm impressed by your French baby, did you study without me?) She said softly, and I furrow my brow, thinking as I chew. 

“Je sous…” (I’m under) I repeat as I think to myself, “why? Did I say something wrong?” I pout a bit, looking at her, thinking she was saying she was under impressed with my French and that I should be studying more. 

“Bebe, Je suis, suis, my love, Je, Suis” she said, sweetly. 

“Ohhhh- ohh…you are impressed, not under impressed” I smiled a bit and she rolls her eyes playfully. 

“”Mon ours n’a jamais rien fait d’autre que m'impressionner ” (my bear, never does anything but impress me.)  she strokes my cheek gently. “Mon sexy homme” (my sexy man) she whispered and gently brushed back my hair. 

I blushed more, my cheeks surely being a shade of bright red that matched hers. “Je t’aime mon gros ours sexy” she said and I smirked, knowing ‘I love you my big sexy bear’ anywhere 

“Oooo” she said happily as she opened the box of mozzarella sticks. “Oooo!!! And you got extra sauce! I love you so so much” she kisses my cheek and I chuckle. 

“You and cheese, I swear you’re half mouse sometimes” I tease and she giggled, dipping it in the sauce and taking a bite. 

“Mmmm-“ she hums before continuing “I would love to be a mouse. Would you love me still if you woke up one morning and there was a note on my pillow that a fae turned me into a mouse? Would you keep me?” She asked, dunking again and taking another bite. 

I snort, “a mouse? I mean…we couldn’t have sex anymore so that would suck, but it would be you. Wait- would you love me if you were a mouse?” I asked taking a bite of my pizza. 

“Of course- well..maybe more so because I would fully depend on you to translate for me, unless I was a mouse that could speak. In which case you’d not need a note because you’d wake up to me making a comfy little nest in your hair and I’d tell you I was a mouse and now I’d sleep on your head like Ratatouille. Ooo and during the day I could sit on your shoulder, you could carry me around in your pocket!!” She ruffles my hair playfully and I smile, shaking my head at her adorable constant need to discuss out of this world scenarios and how we’d each react to them.

“That would be very fun, well- maybe it would put off customers if they knew the head chef walks around with a mouse on his shoulder, but I wouldn’t care cause we’d get to be together all the time ma petit souris” (my little mouse)  I shrugged with a smile, taking another bite. 

She smiles proudly, gently kissing my jaw. “Ahh en francais? Quel bon garçon” (ah in French? What a good boy) she praised softly, squeezing my bicep sweetly, kissing my shoulder. “Mmm what about…” she picks her pizza back up, taking a bite and thinking for a moment “oo!! What if right now like - I just burst into glitter. Like. Poof and was gone? What would you do?” she giggled and I laughed. 

“Where did you go?! I would find you obviously, or I’d never stop looking for you. I’d give up everything and become a private investigator to find you” I shrug, poking her cheek playfully. 

“No like dead gone what if I spontaneously combusted into glitter and like- that was my death. I’m gone. Poof. Nothing more then little sparkly granules” she muses and I raise my eyebrows. 

“Dead? Well…I’d probably start sobbing and be on my hands and knees picking up every little piece to keep in a bag forever and I’d take it with me everywhere.” I said and she pouted. 

“Stop you are too sweet. I thought you were gonna be like ‘welp guess I’m gettin the vacuum out’ “ she laughs and I gasp, poking her belly. 

“The vacuum?! What - was that what your answer was gonna be?” I chuckled and she grinned wide. 

“Maaaybe. But of course I’d be kidding!!!! Ooo maybe I’d turn you in to a pretty eyeshadow.” She pecks my lips and I squeeze her cheeks with my hand gently, a pout forming on her lips at the action. 

“Y’re fuckin weird and I love it” I smooch her lips again and she giggles in to my mouth lightly. 

When we were finished eating, she took her regular spot on my lap as she scrolled through videos on her phone, giggling and sending some of them to Sadie. 

Shit. Sadie. She has to be on a fuckin plane like- now. 

I clear my throat “s’rry bunny, can you uh- I gotta go to the bathroom.” I said and she rolls off me without looking up, stretching herself out on her side of the bed. I slickly grab my phone without her noticing and go off to the bathroom, shutting the door and leaning against it. 

I found Sadie’s contact and hit dial, praying to god she was up and would see it or at least answer it if it woke her up. I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding when I heard her pick up. 

“What did you do” she grumbles in to the phone, knowing that I’d usually only ever call her this late if I’d fucked up majorly and had to have her talk Winnie down from a freak out. 

“N-nothing. No- sorry f’wakin’ you- listen, I’m gonna get on Google and get you, Eva, and Richie a flight. Listen to me Sadie I can only say it once she’s probably listening you know how she is. I got tickets! 5 tickets!! Fuckin floor” I said quietly in to the phone, knowing she’d know exactly what I was talking about since every time she Winnie and I would hang out, my cellphone and laptop would both be held hostage as they forced me to scoure different Internet forums and Facebook groups trying to find tickets for them. 

“ARE YOU FUCKING ME RIGHT NOW?!?! SHES GONNA FUCKING SHIT HERSELF AND THROW UP- NO- SHES GONNA EXPLODE. HOW DID YOU FUCKING MANAGE!!” She shrieks in to the phone so loudly I had to remove it from my ear and I could still hear her perfectly. 

“Shhhhhh!! Shhh! Contain your screaming for tomorrow night - and don’t tell her she won’t be able to sleep. But fill in Richie, I’m gonna buy your flights and hotel rooms and shit and send it to you in a groupchat, and please for the love of god- if you can, go help him pack- the last time he went on a fuckin trip the jagoff took a rediculous amount of socks but somehow forgot a shirt? Just please- Eva is gonna be so torn up if he forgets something” I plead and she laughs. 

“Noted. Did you need me to go get Pooh’s shit?” She asked 

“No- wait fuck the bracelets? Her special bracelets the uh- the ones on that hand heart thing in her room. All of em - and she has a-a bucket in her closet full of em she’s been makin em every day pretty much she wants to like give em out or somethin. Put em in a bag- wait- no don’t mix them.” I said nervously fuck. Planning a concert this intense is not my forte. 

“I got it I got it. How the fuck did you secure those tickets, Carmen?” She asked 

“Bear! Bear come look come LOOK!!” Winnie squeaks from the other room “PEOPLE SAY TAYLOR WAS THE SPECIAL GUEST ON JIMMY KIMMEL TONIGHT DID YOU SEE HER BACK THERE?!” 

Fuckin shit. Leave it to Taylor’s cult to be tracking her every move. Hell- what am I saying the cults president is outside the door. 

“Gotta go” I whisper in to the phone and hung up quickly, taking a deep breath. 

“Really baby? I uh- no- no way, I’m sure that she has so much security I was on a whole other side of the building I bet.” I call back as casually as I could, my fingers shaking as I went online and finding the earliest flights I could. 

“Carmen we were sharing air.” She said, starstruck. “Sharing AIR BABE” she repeats and I laugh, some of my tension desolving. 

“Mm one step closer to meeting the leader” I teased as I quickly check out with 3 plane tickets in to JFK thank god the site had Apple Pay so I didn’t have to sneakily grab my wallet. 

“Come onnn are you almost done? I wanna snuggle” she whines and I sigh softly to myself, hiding anything from her is the absolute worst. 

“Mm a few more minutes baby” I said, calling the hotel we were staying at currently. 

“Ritz Carlton front desk, how can I help you?” The woman on the end answered. 

“Hello I- I um - I’m staying here? Like- now? A-and I am gonna be having guests come I need to add 2 rooms for tomorrow on to my reservation? I’m in room 313” I said quietly hoping Winnie couldn’t hear. 

“Oh! Alright, there are 2 rooms available on floor 3, room 388 and room 389, both have a king size bed should this suffice?” She asks. 

“Sure that’s great” I said rubbing my chin nervously. 

“And how many guests?” She asks 

“Three” I reply, hearing her type and click around on her computer. 

“And their names please.” She said. 

“Sadie Adamu, and Richie and Eva Jerimovich” I said quietly. 

“Oh ok so Adamu can you spell that?” She said and I run my hand through my hair anxiously. 

“A-d-a-m-u. And Jerimovich is J-e-r-i-m-o-v-i-c-h “ I replied, biting my lip when I hear Winnie again.

“Who’re you talkin’ to bear?” She calls. I squeeze my eyes shut 

Fuckin hell. 

“Alright! Got it all in the system, check in is at 2 pm, is there anything el-“ I cut her off

“Nope! Thanks bye” I quickly hang up the phone and took a deep breath and put my phone back in my pocket, rubbing over my face. 

“Bear?” She called again. 

I opened the bathroom door and see her laying cuddled up in a ball on my side of the bed, holding the phone only a few inches from her face. 

“Give em’ “ I extend my hand with a grin and she rolls her eyes, sitting up a bit and squinting at the nightstand. 

“Threw em there” she points at the nightstand generally before plopping back down. 

“You are a crusty little thing mon souris” (my mouse) I pick up her contacts from the nightstand and go toss them in the bin before coming back and laying down after flicking off the lamp. 

“Who were you talkin to?” She asked, looking over at me. 

“Oh uh- Syd…she sent this voice note askin’ about the schedule I was just explaining some stuff to ‘er” I said casually, genuinely surprised I was able to come up with a lie on the spot. 

“Oh, ok” she said and turned her phone off, grabbing her kindle and snuggling in to my chest. 

“Tv off please” she mutters and I silently thank god she was giving in to her exhaustion. 

“Oui ma cherie” (yes my darling) I kissed her forehead lightly and grabbed the remote,clicking the tv off and putting the remote on the nightstand before settling in and sighing softly. 

“Mm. s’quiet without your thing.” I said, alluding to her noise machine. She snorts a laugh. 

“It’s cute that you miss it” she said, turning the brightness down on her tablet. I wrap my arm around her waist, tucking my other hand between her thighs per usual. 

“What’re you readin’ Angel?” I asked, stroking her stomach with my hand gently. 

“Our book” she said softly and I hum. 

“Which part?” I question quietly and she taps the screen so it’d flip to the next page 

“Favorite one” she hums and I smiled softly. 

“Up for reading t’me, miel?” (Honey) 

“Any time ours” (Bear) she said before beginning.

 “ ‘Open your heart, and someone will come. Someone will come for you, Edward. But first, you must open your heart.’ Said the old doll. ‘I am done with being loved. And I am done with loving- for it’s too painful.’ Edward replied. ‘Oh pish’ said the doll. ‘Where is your courage?’ She asked Edward. ‘Somewhere else, I guess’ he replied. ‘You disappoint me.’ She said. ‘You, Edward, disappoint me greatly. If you have no further intention of loving or being loved, then this whole journey is pointless. You might as well leap from this shelf, and let yourself shatter into a million little pieces. Get it over with. Get it all over now.’ Edward couldn’t come up with a response, so he stared out the window, and he saw his beloved stars. But for the first time In his life, he’d felt no comfort by their sparkling presence, shining back at him through the curtians. He instead, felt mocked. ‘You are down there all alone.’ The stars seemed to say to him. ‘And we are up here, in the constellations together.’ -  ‘But…I have been loved.’ Edward thinks at the stars. ‘What difference does that make, when you’re all alone now?’ The stars seem to say back. 

And Edward could think of no answer to that question.”

I made sure to get up early, knowing Winnie would be sleeping as long as I’d let her. I got dressed and brushed my teeth before heading out to go get her breakfast. 

I stopped at chick fil a, getting her favorite meal in the morning time, and then went to this floral shop that was on the way back that i’d passed a cute flower shop on the walk back to the hotel that i’d passed a million times on my commute to work while living here, picking out a big bouquet of pink, purple, yellow and blue flowers. Lover colors Winnie will say when she sees them. At the counter while I was checking out there were big foil heart shaped ‘I love you’ balloons, so, of course I got one of those as well. 

I quietly opened the hotel room door, setting the flowers tied to the balloon on my side of the bed and setting the food bags down on her nightstand. I gently sat down on her end of the bed, the dip of my weight causing her to stir and reach out for me on my side, but when she instead felt the paper of the bouquet she opened her eyes, blinking a few times and looking back at me. 

“G’mornin sleeping beauty.” I said softly, taking her hand and kissing it after she got a good stretch in. 

“Mmm. Glasses please, are those flowers?” She asks sleepily, sitting up and yawning. I hand them to her and she puts them on, pouting. 

“Bear, oh my god c’mere” she flops into my arms and hugs me tight. “I love you, thank you. Y’re the best boyfriend in the whole wide world” she kisses my neck sweetly and I rub her back, smiling and kissing her head gently. 

“No I just try and show my baby how much she deserves” I pull her into my lap, kissing all over her face and she giggles. 

“Stoppp I have morning breath” she whines shying her face into my chest and I rub her hair gently. 

“Mmm smells ok t’me angel, c’mon I got your favorite,” I grab the bag and she gasps happily, taking it from me and giving me a big kiss. 

“You’re the best” she said again, sitting in her spot criss cross and looking up, following the string of the balloon and she looks back at the flowers, then the balloon again and her lip starts to quiver. 

“Bear” she whispers “Y’re too good” she said, tears pooling her eyes at the thoughtful gesture. 

“No tears baby, you know if you cry, I cry” I clear my throat, wiping under her eyes gently. It was my biggest weakness, and I’m not a cryer. Usually, for anything else, but for some reason, when she starts to cry- I can’t help it. It’s totally uncontrollable. 

“ ‘m sorry” she sniffles and takes my hand, kissing gently. “I just…I love you bear. So so much” she said and I smiled, tucking her hair gently behind her ear. 

“I love you more baby, look-” I opened up the bag for her, grabbing the little ‘chicken minis’ she loved and setting them in her lap as well as the hashbrowns and the many sauces. 

“They always hound me about the bigger bottle- and I have to tell them every time ‘no she only likes this sauce with this food but she wants to have enough’ “ I explained, grabbing the many little packets of ‘Polynesian’ and their house sauce she loved so much. 

She giggled, opening up the hashbrowns. “You’re the cutest” she said, dipping a hash brown in to the sauce and popping it in her mouth. 

“Oh!” I said and grab her frozen coffee out of the little drink carrier, and popping a straw in for her “extra chocolate, for my honey of course” I said and set it down on the nightstand. 

“I fall more in love with you every day, mon ours” (my bear) she leans forward, pecking my lips. “Open” she said softly and I oblige. She popped a hash brown in my mouth and I amile gratefully. 

“Y’got food too I hope” she said and I nod as I chew. 

“Mmhmm, their chicken one” I opened up the smaller bag, grabbing out 2 of the chicken biscuits I’d gotten for myself and she laughs. 

“Yeah? Their chicken one?” She repeats and I raise my eyebrow, looking at her. “All they serve is chicken, baby” she giggled and I roll my eyes smiling. 

“A chicken biscuit. Two actually” I snort, grabbing the ranch packets out of my bag. 

“Mmm” she hums as she sips her coffee. “They always get it right when you get it bear they never make it this chocolatey for me. The girls at the counter must think you’re cute.” She muses teasingly, eating one of her little brioche chicken things that she was convinced I couldn’t replicate perfectly, no matter how much I’d tried. 

I really think she just loves to see me keep yearning to impress her, frisky little devil. 

“I think that you just like it more when Y’re happy little butt gets to stay snuggled up in bed, and it taste better cause you didn’t have to work for it” I teased and she laughs, scrunching her nose adorably. 

“Maaaaybeee - but don’t pretend like every time we go out you aren’t getting hit on, mister sexy chef” she splays her legs over my lap, crossing her ankles. 

“Oh yeah” I roll my eyes, taking a bite of my sandwich after pouring a good amount of ranch on. “Totally - like you remember that lady at Coach yesterday when I didn’t know that bag was like 30k and she told me to ‘get my sticky fingers off that bag’ she was all over me, babe“ I snort and she laughs, leaning against the headboard. 

“Dude - I’m surprised I didn’t fucking jump her with the way she was talking to us. I am never getting a coach bag now baby, don’t even think about it. Syd was right- Prada was the way to go. I can’t waittt to show her oh my god. Sadie is gonna flip” she said and I smiled, nodding. Mmhmm when she gets here in about 3 hours, she and you will both be flipping out. 

“Oh! Shit! I didn’t check” she put down her food, grabbing her phone and going on to the Ticketmaster app and my eyes widen. They better not be dropping tickets today. I wanted to wait for Sadie to get here and tell her together and if she tries to buy them i’ll have no choice. 

“Oh- I already did baby. I did as soon as I got up” I lied, feeling the envelope in my inner breast pocket containing the tickets burning a hole in to me. The taste of the words on my tongue were bitter knowing they held no truth, but this was a good lie. A lie that will make her ultimately happy.

“Oh…” she pouts sadly, her shoulders hunching slightly in defeat as she refreshes the empty Ticketmaster page just in case. “I feel selfish…but…I just love her s’much. I know I’ve seen her already but-“ she sighs, shaking her head. “I know it’s bratty, but Sadie and I have the most fun at her concerts. I don’t even know how she’d get here in time, what am I even saying. And I didn’t even take my outfit.” She puts her phone down. “No taylor talk today, ok? It’ll just make me sad.” She took a sip of coffee and I nodded, rubbing her leg gently. 

My heart ached seeing her so upset. I felt the words pressing at the back of my throat begging to come out, to comfort her, to tell her ‘it’s ok baby I got them already Sadie’s on her way, Richie and Eva are coming! This is everything the three of you have been talking about since she announced it, I love you angel please be happy.’ 

But instead, I squeeze her calf gently. “No taylor talk.” I nod. When we’d finished eating, she had gone to have a ‘everything’ shower which was code for ‘leave me alone, I need to get shit done’ shower, and I picked up the room, throwing our garbage away and setting the flowers on the desk for her. 

I felt my phone buzzing in my pocket and when I saw it was Richie calling I picked it up right away. 

“Guess where we are cousinnn!!” He said excitedly in to the phone 

“Cousin Carmy were coming to see you AND TAYLOR SWIFT!!” Eva squeals excitedly and I chuckle. 

“Jesus Christ I’m deaf” I hear Sadie grumble. 

“Someone doesn’t like mornings, Cousin you send a drill sergeant that hates mornings to my house at 5 am to announce we’re seeing Taylor swift?!” He asks and I chuckle. 

“Staff Sergeant. Thank you!” She snips and I snorted. 

“Cause I know a Marine is the only person that could get your ass out of bed before first light on a day off, how far out are you?” I asked, sitting on the bed. 

“Well we got the rental, Sadie is driving - the GPS saysss….” He groans. “An hour and forty six minutes with traffic”  he grumbled. 

“Welcome to New York, cousin. Let me know when you guys get here and drop off your shit. We’re in room 313 y’guys are gonna be 388 and 389” I said 

“I want 389!” Sadie and Eva said at the same time and I crinkle my brows. 

“What’s with- oh my god” I roll my eyes. “Cause of 1989? I can’t stand you guys…” I chuckle. 

“She can have it cause I’m so mature” Sadie teased and I snort. 

“Thanks, bug. I’ll s’ya soon. Drive safe.” I said before ending the call. I heard the water cut off, Winnie belting to Taylor songs per usual. 

I took the opportunity while she was still in the bathroom to call and make a reservation at Freemans - for tomorrow afternoon, a spot Winnie had been gushing about ever since none other than Taylor was seen there a while back.

 I had no shame this time in mentioning my first and last name, knowing they’d pull out every stop for us since the host asked if I was the owner of the bear, the restaurants owner must know of me. 

The door clicks open just after I hang up and Winnie paused her music, coming out in a pair of panties and one of my white shirts, her hair still dry since I assume she tied it back. 

“Hey hey” she said, coming and sitting in my lap. I rub my hand up her thigh gently. 

“Hey beautiful, you have a nice shower?” I mutter in to her neck, gently kissing a trail of butterfly kisses up to her jaw. 

“Mmhmm” she interlocks our fingers, gently squeezing my hand. “What’s my surprise? I love your surprises, Bear” she kisses my lips sweetly and I raise my eyebrows in surprise her fuckin memory sometimes she always remembers the shit she shouldn’t. 

“Mmm” I hum softly into the kiss, swiping my tongue against her bottom lip and kissing her deeper, running my hands up her sides, hoping if I fluster her enough the question will slip her mind. 

She moaned softly, running her fingers through my hair and tugging lightly, scratching at the places she knew made me melt into her. 

“Baby” she said into my lips. “What’re you hiding from me” she kissed the corner of my mouth gently and I look up at her, my cheeks bright pink. 

I’m not the one that’s supposed to be flustered right now. 

I bit my lip gently and rest my forehead on her chest, not wanting to look at her pleading hazel eyes. 

“s’a surprise honey” I said into her shirt. She rubbed my back gently. 

“Will I get my surprise today?” She asked. 

“Course, like less then 2 hours yeah? Not much longer baby” I kiss her collar bones gently and she moves to straddle my waist, my hands moving down to cup the flesh of her backside as I usually did when she sat like this to support her. 

“S’we have enough time to play” she said softly in my ear, pushing up the hem of my shirt. Her cold hands made my abs and stomach tighten, hissing softly at the contact. 

“Ye’ baby - fuck Y’re hands are freezing.” I squeeze her ass gently, resting my head back as she kisses my neck and throat, gently nibbling along my jaw.  “Then warm me up bear” she whispered into my skin.

𝒲𝒾𝓃𝓃𝒾𝑒𝓈 𝒫.𝒪.𝒱. 🍯

“Fuckfuckfuck y-yours- i’m yours, no one could ever make me feel so good, Carmy” I whine out, tugging his hair as he devours me. Icy blue eyes darkened with lust were piercing my gaze, his nose nudging my clit causing me to let out a breathy moan as his tongue plunged in and out of my core. 

“That’s right, I fuckin own this pussy baby” he said hotly, my arousal dripping down his chin, his lips plump and oh so pink from the delicious assault on the place I needed him most. 

“Please” I said, tears from the overwhelming pleasure were gathering in the corners of my eyes at this point, and he had been practically humping the mattress to get himself off as he ravished me. I knew he wanted me as much as I needed him. 

“Please what honey?” He sat up, one knee on the bed, hovering over me, his chain dangling in my face as he rubs my clit. I writhe and squirm beneath his touch, already 2 orgasms deep but I was drunk off the pleasure. I couldn’t tell him to stop, it was like a high I never wanted to come off of. 

“F-ahh” my hips buck wildly, eyes screwing shut and nose scrunching as that oh so familiar intense wave of pleasure begins crashing at the dam doors of my stomach. 

“Fuck me, fuckmefuckme Bear, pleeeeaseeee” I beg out pulling him in to a deep kiss. He huffs a chuckle in to my mouth, taking his hand away from my center to pull himself free, covering his cock in my arousal that was soaking his hand. 

“Y’gonna be a good girl ‘n not get greedy? Mm? I don’t want y’t’be sore baby” he said, lining himself up at my entrance. 

I huff sassily. “I want all of your cock, not just a little” I pout and he puts his tip in, my mouth quickly dropping in pleasure and eyes fluttering shut. I grabbed his hand, wrapping it around my throat and looking up at him. 

“Mmm you wanna be my little whore?” He coos, leaning in and kissing my lips sweetly. 

“Please…” I said softly and I moan as I felt his hand tighten around my throat and he sinks in further. 

“Fuck- s’fuckin tight Angel” his grip around my throat tightens a bit as he tries to hold himself back from rutting in to me fully before he stretched me out. 

I bit my lip, my eyebrows furrowing together in pleasure at the mix of the lightness filling my head and the warmth it brought. 

“Feel good princess?” He pushes in deeper and I moan in response. 

“S’so good Carm- fuck I love your cock” I whine out, my back arching when he hits my gspot. 

“Half way baby. Be my g’girl.” He strokes my throat with his thumb gently and I nod quickly. 

“I’m trying, feels fuckin amazing bear I can’t help it” I said and he kisses around my chest, sucking on my nipple and grunting in to me when he felt my core tighten around him as I was brought to the very tip of the edge. 

“Let go” he said as he pushed in fully, the sensation causing my third orgasm to wash over me like a harsh crack of hot lightning. My walls clench around him pulsingly, my back arching and hot thick strings of cries, whines, and moans between curses spilled from my lips. 

He released his hold on my neck, pressing his lips to my forehead, thrusting harder faster. “Mmm fuck. Can y’give me another one honey? C’mon, I know my good girl can give me another one.” He muttered and I smile up at him, kissing his jaw gently. 

“So determined Bear- mmm- there-there don’t fuckin move, there. I-I promise I’ll give you another” I plead, my nails dragging down his back and he moaned at the contact. 

“Shit yesss baby. Fuckin scratch me up please I love that shit fuck Y’re like a horny little cat” he grunts, fucking in to the same spot harder, holding himself up by the mattress. 

The only sounds leading my lips were incoherent mumbled profanities and short ‘uh-uh-uh’ as he pounded me harder in to the mattress. A few short minutes later I was cumming again soaking is thighs and all the way up to his stomach, he grunts approvingly. 

“Fuuuck that’s my good girl. Shiiit y’re so fuckin’ wet baby. My messy little girl” he praises and I feel my cheeks heat, a warm pool of liquid settling by the dip of my bum. 

“Shit m’sorry I didn’t mean to make such a mess” I said embarrassedly and he shook his head lightly. 

“Babe its hot as fuck. I wish I could make you do this every fuckin time.” He holds my breasts to keep them from bouncing, thumbing my nipples over my jewlery as he continues snapping his hips. 

I whine, my hips arching up in overstimulation but that just burried him deeper. I cry out and he quickly puts his arm under my hips to support them, holding me in that position. 

“Holy fuckkkk” he moans out, eyes fluttering shut in bliss and head falling back as he picks up his pace. “Fuck Angel you are fuckin perfect. Here touch Y’re belly baby, feel me” he kisses along my neck and I reach my hand down, gasping as I press on my stomach and feel his cock driving in and out of me. 

“Fuck oh my god” I said, a laugh falling from my lips followed by a moan, “wow. This is what they mean when they say rearrange my guts” I kiss him deeply, tugging his curls firmly between my fingers and he moans into my mouth. 

“Sh-iiiit s-so close…” he whined out and I smile lazily, kissing a trail of gentle kisses over his jaw as he continued. His thrusts were becoming stuttering, sloppy, and much less powerful. Now it was my turn to push him over the ledge. 

“je t'aime, mon ours” (I love you, my bear) I whisper sweet and sensually in his ear, and he grunted, spilling in to me with one final thrust, bottoming out and slamming our lips together in a heated, wanting kiss, keeping himself buried deep inside me while his cock pulses through his comedown. 

 “I fuckin love you Winnow” he breathes in to my skin leaving wet hot kisses over my chest and collarbones. 

He rolls over, laying next to me and catching his breath. “We need to shower” he said after a while of cuddling and I look at him, my brows furrowing. 

“Why” I question, resting my hand on his chest and wrapping my leg around his. 

“Cause we got things t’do baby, y’re surprise” he smiled a bit, patting my bum gently. 

“My legs are useless at the moment. You want me t’shower I need t’be carried” I mused, gently running my fingers over the curve of his abs. 

“Mmhmm that can be arranged” he grabs his phone, angling it away so I couldn’t see who he was texting before turning the phone back normal and googling the hotel we’re staying at, calling the front desk. 

Okay, he’s really hiding something. 

“Yeah hey- me and my uh…” he looks down at me “wife- we need the sheets changed in room 313…yeah- nope that’s fine we’re gonna be in the bathroom so- alright. Yup, thank you.” He said and hung up. I wiggle my eyebrows. 

“Wife?” I teased with a big grin. 

His cheeks go pink. “You know I’ll make you my wife someday. People seem t’take us as like… a legit couple when I say that…when I just call you my girl people think we’re kids ‘er somethin” he rubs my back lightly. 

“Mmm…i’m just teasin’ baby..but- I dunno… I like that- it just sounds right coming from your mouth. I never thought of myself as wifey material but…Winnow Berzatto. That sounds nice, don’t ya think?” I kiss his collarbones and he swallows thickly. 

“Yeah…yeah I uh- I kept thinkin’ about that last night when they called you that..I liked that a lot too..” he said softly, stroking my hair. 

“Well” I stick up my ring finger, wiggling it in front of his face “Whenever you’re ready, I’m waiting” I peck his lips and he hums, deepening our kiss and running his hand up my side. 

“Thank you baby” he said, resting his forehead on mine. “F’r bein’ so patient w’me” he said quietly, rubbing my lower back in small circles. 

“ ‘fcourse Carm, I’d wait forever for you” I kiss his nose and he smiles big, a blush painting his cheeks a cherry red. 

“Y’wont need to wait that long baby, I’m just…just gettin’ my shit together” he sighs a bit, rubbing his hand up my back. “C’mon koala, up” he pats my bum and I release his leg, sitting up against the headboard. 

 He stood up, coming to my side and I lifted my arms. He lifted me up simply, holding me bridal style and carrying me to the bathroom. 

“Mmm mon gros ours sexy, et fort..” (mm my big strong, sexy bear..) I said into his ear, nibbling his earlobe with my teeth and he sets me down on the bathroom counter with a smile. 

“Tu es déja ton…” (you already got your…) he stops, thinking for a moment “ahhh Tu es déja ton remplis ma sale cherie.” (You already got your fill my dirty darling) he smiled proudly, turning on the water. 

“Ooohhh look at mon petit ours français sexy” (oooh look at my sexy little french bear)  I giggled, crossing my ankles and leaning against the mirror. 

“Mmhmm, I have the sexiest little professor” he comes over, kissing my lips sweetly. I hum in to the kiss, playing with his curls gently. We made out until the bathroom was thick with steam, and our lips didn’t disconnect as we stepped into the oversized walk in shower. 

He rested my back against the wall, hands firmly supporting my bum as he held me up, my ankles crossed at his tailbone, thighs squeezing his waist gently. I smiled, my eyes fluttering shut and resting my forehead on his shoulder as he kissed my neck. 

“Feels good Bear…Y’gonna mark me up, Carmy?mm? Show everyone you own me?” I bit down on the ball of his shoulder playfully and he groans in satisfaction.  

“Not yet baby, Y’gonna wanna take pictures today” he said softly, leaving sweet tender kisses along my jaw bone to my lips. “Cmon princess, can I set you down and get y’washed up? We can’t be late” he pleads. 

I sigh softly “fine. Now I’m interested though, I know you like takin’ pictures of me, but I rarely think to take them myself. What’re you up to, Bear?” I sit down on the marble bench built in to the shower as soon as he’d set me down, my legs still feeling quite shakey under me. 

“It’s a surprise princess, I told you.” He grabbed my body wash and a washcloth, sudsing it up “c’mere stinky” he teases and I gasp, feigning great offense, clutching my necklace. 

“Stinky?! You made me stinky!! With all your man sweat.” I stick out my tongue at him and he chuckled, wrapping an arm around my waist and hoisting me to my feet, gently washing over my body. 

“Oh yeah, but if I remember you were all pleasepleaseplease begging for my stink missy” he mimics me and I gasp, hitting his chest lightly and laughing. 

“Do not make fun of me, y’know what- fine. I’ll just suck your soul out later and then mock you when we’re done about how your like ‘aughhhh ah-ooo-shit, fuck honey yesss” I mimicked his whines and shrugged.  He laughs “Whatever was left of my soul you’ve already sucked out months ago, little vampire. So good luck cause I’m all dry.” he teased.

By the time we were done in the shower, I had felt much better. The hot water worked it’s magic on my sore muscles, and Carmy even laid with me and was giving me a long, relaxing lotion massage. 

He's really laying this whole surprise thing on thick. 

“Baby” I said softly, looking down at him and his gaze meets mine, continuing to massage my hip since it was so tight after everything this morning and having to walk around in heels last night. 

A blush comes to my cheeks and my throat suddenly felt tight, I didn’t want him to get the wrong idea about my question, but I also didn’t want him to do anything just to appease me. 

“Are you…is the surprise proposing? Cause I don’t want …I don’t want to get married until you’re ready baby I’m ok with my necklace I don’t need a ring I know you love me” I said softly and he smiles, nodding. 

“No baby, I’m not. Sorry if that’s disappointing, but like I said, I promise at some point, I will- and I don’t think you’d be able to handle all that excitement t’night.” He kissed my knee gently and continued on massaging. 

“Oh..ok” I said and went back to scrolling through twitter on my phone. He digs his phone out of his pocket when it buzzes immediately, almost too quick, and sends a fast response before setting it on the bed and patting my hip gently. 

“Put on some pants, can’t be poohin’ it we have guests comin’” he teased. I giggled at the silly joke. Whenever he’d come over and I was in nothing but panties and a shirt, he’d always say I was “living up to my name” since Winnie the Pooh never wears pants. 

“Who’s visiting?” I asked, getting up and grabbing my fluffy pajama pants. 

“You’ll see princess” he hums, taking a dress bag out of his suitcase and a black bag, hanging them on the closet door as there was a knock. 

“Y’wanna get the door angel?” He asked and I raised a brow, slipping my feet into my bear paw slippers and shuffling over to the door, pulling it open. 

“WINNIE!!” Eva runs in and hugs my legs and hips tightly as I stood there, jaw dropped to see Richie and Sadie standing there. 

“Guys!? What are you doing here?” I picked Eva up, kissing all over her face. “You came to Visit us pipsqueak?!” I asked her excitedly. 

“Cousin Carmy has a SURPRISE TELL HER CARMY TELL HER” she yelled at him. 

“Shhhh, shh baby people are sleepin come on” I giggled at her excitement, letting them in the door and setting her down gently. 

I give Sadie a big hug “SadieBug what the fuck!!” I giggle squeezing her tightly. “Why the hell are you guys here?” I give Richie a big hug and a kiss on the cheek. 

“Y’still didnt tell ‘er?” Richie asked Carm, who was already picking up Eva and throwing her on to the bed, one of her favorite games when we’d stay at a hotel. She giggles wildly, each time she flew in to the pillows she’d squeal happily and sit up. 

“Again! Again!” And leap back into his arms. 

“No I was waitin’ for you guys, okay one more Eva then we gotta give Winnie her surprise yeah?” He asks and she nods happily. 

“Okay, one…two…thrreee!!” He swings her between each count, hurling her carefully in to the bed on three and she laughs excitedly, standing up and jumping. 

“Winnie come sit!” She said plopping down on her bum and bouncing at the force of the mattress, giggling as she did so.  

“She slept most the way from the airport, so that’s why she’s a little wound up” Richie said, causing me to giggle. 

I was so caught up in how fuckin cute Carmy was with Eva that I completely forgot why they were here in the first place. 

“Okay nowww do I get my surprise?” I asked Carm, walking up and wrapping my arms loosely around his neck, looking up at him with big doe eyes. 

“Yes baby but I think you should sit, yeah?” He gently nudges me to sit on the bed and I do so. 

“Should I be scared?” I raise my eyebrow and Sadie laughs. 

“No dude. Just listen” she crossed her arms as Carm took a white envelope out of his inner breast pocket, his first and last name written on the outside. 

“So, honey” he sits next to me and offers the envelope. “I love you, so much. All I want is f’r you to be happy okay? I would go to the ends of the earth to make you happy. And I know that you’d do the same f’me…and I hope that this shows you, that I will always find a way to make what you want happen okay, every time.” He kisses my forehead tenderly and I pout at his words, cupping his cheeks and giving him a sweet kiss. 

“You’re the best boyfriend ever, I love you” I said softly. 

“Yuck” Eva said from behind us and I look at her. 

“And You’re a stinky baby” I tease, poking her belly and she pouts 

“Hey!” She crosses her arms and Richie chuckled. 

“You’re yucky too Carmy” she pokes him in the back with her foot and he snorts. 

“Open your gift Angel” he wraps his arm around me, his chin resting on my shoulder. 

I gently pull open the envelope, taking out a stack of…concert tickets? 

Taylor Swift - THE ERAS TOUR LIVE - Sponsored by Capital One With special Guests; BOYGENIUS & Sabrina Carpenter

ADMIT 1 FLRL R2 S13 Saturday, June 20, 2025 TICKETMASTER EVENT 

Blood roars in my ears, my heart starts thumping so hard I can feel it in my stomach, my throat, everywhere. I flicked through the tickets, there were five. My jaw was basically on the floor, my stomach was doing flips, it felt as if I could pass out. 

“Mmm? What’s Taylor say? We’re goin out T’night baby” he kisses my cheek and I look at him, tears pooling my eyes. 

There were so many thoughts in my mind, I couldn’t even settle on one. I looked back at the tickets, sure they’d turn in to something else if I stared at them hard enough.

“Daddy..is Winnie ok she looks scared?” Eva whispered to Richie and I laughed and laughed, tears streaming down my face and I hug Carmen so tightly he actually groans a bit beneath my grasp. 

“Fuck wow baby when did you get so strong?” He chuckled and I release him slightly. 

“I don’t wanna scare people by screaming? I dunno what to do baby” I said, kissing his neck gently. “What am I even gonna wear?” I whisper and he wipes my cheeks 

“No tears,” he said softly, kissing my forehead. “I don’t wanna get all w’rked up baby” he rubs my back soothingly. 

I nod, wiping over my face. “I know, sorry, sorry. But I- I forgot my bodysuit what am I gonna do?” I said, my heart breaking. “W-were gonna be s’close and she won’t see it. I worked so hard Carmy” I said and he broke our hug, walking over to the closet and unzipping the black dress bag. 

Revealing my blue bodysuit. 

I squeal and run, jumping into his arms and kissing his face all over “and you’re coming with us?” I asked and he nods, smiling wide. 

“I am and I can get all your videos, and pictures, and I can get your merch and everything baby you just have to enjoy the show” he said and I felt tears welling up behind my eyes again. 

“You’re perfect.” I whispered and kissed him lovingly. 

“Okay lovebirds” Sadie snaps her fingers. “We have a stadium to be at in” she looks at her Apple Watch. “4 hours if you wanna trade bracelets, and chop-chop if I’m curling your hair, Pooh” she tells me and I sniffle, wiping my face and getting down off him. 

“Girls are gonna need the bathroom” I told him and he nods, rubbing my back gently.  

“Course babe. Why don’t you guys have a little get ready party in here. Y’want me and Richie to go to the liquor store n’ stuff so you and Sadie can pregame?” He tucks my hair behind my ear sweetly. 

I smile wide. “Carmen fucking Berzatto I fall in love with you more each second” I kiss him deeply, cupping his cheeks and stroking his fingers with my thumbs. 

“Jesus Christ are they always like this? My god” Richie said 

“Told you, yucky daddy.” Eva replied and I giggle “Only every second of every day. I think I know this guys side profile more then his frontal because of how much they suck face” Sadie said, earning a laugh out of all 4 of us.

“Back” Carmen called as he came into the hotel room, knocking on the bathroom door.

“Come in!” I called over the music. 

“Oh my goodness Richie who’s this young lady?” Carm said when he saw Evas hair that I’d already curled for her and pinned back with glittery barrettes that would match her outfit. 

She giggled, “thank you! Daddy, look!! Winnie did my hair how Sadie will do hers!!” She stood up off the edge of the honeymoon tub, spinning so her curls would be shown off. 

“Wooow look at you pumpkin! You are a little Taylor swift” he comes and picks her up. 

“C’mon let’s go get you dressed, We’ll come back after you have some lunch” he told her and she pouted. 

“I want drinks!” She said causing Sadie, Carm and I to laugh. 

“Girl no it’s big kid drinks.” Sadie said, continuing on her makeup. 

“Mmhmm that’s right, pipsqueak. We’re gonna see you again real soon yeah? And we’ll go to the concert together” I told her and she nodded. 

“Bear” I said sweetly when the door closed after they left. 

“Honey” he repeats, mimicking my tone causing me to giggle. 

“Can you make Sadie and I some doubles, s’il te plaît?” (Please)  I flutter my lashes at him adorably and he snorts. 

“Y’know I love doin’ stuff for you baby, Y’don’t have to give me the theatrics every time” he pecks my lips and takes the bag clinking with bottles of alcohol into the bedroom. 

“Mm but you always do it extra nice when I give you the sweet eyes” I called after him and he chuckled. I was sat with my feet in the sink, focused on my makeup as Sadie curled my hair when he came back with 3 glasses. 

“Sorry, they didn’t have limes babe but I got lime juice” he set my glass next to me and another next to Sadie before sitting on the ledge of the tub and taking a sip of his. 

“ ‘sokay” I said softly, focused on tightlining my eyes with the navy blue pencil liner. 

“Doesn’t that hurt. Y’re like- poking your eye babe.” He said and I stopped, looking at him with a smile. 

“Y’get used to it I guess. I wear contacts to you see the way I dig around my eyes” I said and he shivers at the thought. 

“It’s fuckin’ weird babe I swear it really skeeves me out I’m afraid you’ll scratch your eye out with one of your claws” he said, causing me to giggle.

I took a sip of my drink and scrunch my nose. “Fuck Carm” I giggled. “Wow I’m gonna have to nurse that if I’m gonna be able to do my makeup” I laughed and he snorts a chuckle. 

“Y’said you wanted it strong baby” he replied and I shake my head. 

“I guess I did, gee I’m feelin the burn” I laugh, finishing up tightlining my eyes and starting my winged liner. 

“Sweet like honey karma is a cat purrin in my lap cause it loves meee” Sadie sings along softly as she sprays my hair with hairspray. 

“Flexin like a god damn acrobat me and karma vibe like that!!!” I finished for her and continued doing my makeup. 

By the time we’d finished makeup and hair, I was happy tipsy, giggling in the bathroom as I attempted getting dressed on my own.  

“Carm can you help? My nails keep getting stuck I don’t wanna rip these they’re the ones Taylor wears” I called through the door. 

“Comin” he calls and a few moments later he pops the door open, laughing at my current state. In nothing but my bra and thong, tights pulled up to my thighs. 

I giggle “stop it!! No you’re my boyfriend you can’t laugh at me it’s the law” I said and he shakes his head, coming over and carefully unrolling the bunched fabric. 

“My goodness babe what the hell were you doin’ trying to get these things on? Ballin’ em up?” He teased, crouching down and gently unraveling up to the waistband. 

“Yeah well kinda I got it over my feet perfect see- but then, my boobs were suffocating me from bending over- and I was getting sweaty and lightheaded and I don’t wanna ruin my makeup” I giggle and he grunted a little as he got up. 

“The things I do for you.” He chuckled to himself, carefully pulling the tights up my thighs and smoothing them over my waist. “There. Now where’s your other pair the fishnets right?” He asked and I smiled big, he really pays attention when I tell him about my interests and my plans for things that are so important to me. 

“Mmhmm..sparkly fishnets” I said “my legs are gonna look so long and so sexy” i giggled, sitting on the edge of the tub as I roll the fabric over my toes up to the knees and stood up. “Your turn” I said. 

“I wouldn’t say long you’re not even 5 foot baby, but sexy” he kisses my knee and up my thigh as he dragged the fishnets up. “Absolutely” he said and looked up at me. I pouted, crossing my arms over my middle. 

“Do you wish I was tall?” I asked and he laughs, a real, genuine Carmy giggly laugh. 

“Baby oh my god. Are you all done with the drinks? Cause you gettin’ all mushy drunk on me? I tell you all the time how you’re the perfect size f’me” he pulls the fishnets over my bum, spanking me gently after he brought them up over my waist. 

“No. I just…sometimes people look at me like I’m a kid cause the way I dress and I wanted to be sure it doesn’t embarrass you that I’m small” I look at the floor and he tilts my chin up to look at him. 

“Baby. The only small thing about you- is your height. These?” He cups my breasts with his palms “these” he rubs his hands over my hips. “Especially, this” he spanks me with a smile, causing me to giggle. “All that is in no way small. And anyone who mistakes you for a kid is blind. “ He said running his hands up my waist. “Okay- guess y’got me, this” he squeezes “is tiny.” He pulls me in to him. “And when I’m fucking you from the back? Mmm… it’s the only reason I do it baby cause of how pretty this is” he squeezed again as he whispers in my ear, kissing my pulse point and my breath hitched. 

“Ok- I believe you, I believe you- don’t get me worked up please” I kiss his lips. “Can you get my bodysuit?” I asked and he nodded, returning with it a few moments later and carefully unzips it. 

“I can hold it for you babe” he said, holding it low so I could step in. I held on to his shoulder and did so, slipping in my arms and pulling it up over he got the first half on. “Hold your hair honey I don’t wanna zip it in” he brushed my hair over my shoulder and I held it back for him. 

He zipped me up, hooking the zipper on the little zip lock and gently rubbing his hands up my sides. “Mmm a little red headed Taylor” he hummed, rubbing his hands over my stomach and lightly thumbing over the intricate beading that had taken me hundreds of hours. 

I blushed, turning around and looking at myself in the mirror. I smiled wide, my red hair being more akin to fire against the twinkling royal blue. I felt like a fucking pop star. 

“Holy shit I made this!” I said and he nodded proudly, admiring me and all my hard work. 

“Y’did baby girl! It is so perfect. Dare I say, better then hers. Do you think she planned it to have segments of 13 beads?” He wrapped his arms around my waist, resting his chin on my forehead, looking me over in the mirror and I laugh. 

“Oh the Queen of cryptic planning? Did she plan such a thing? Most likely. But thank you baby. Some spots are a little wonky….but overall I think it came out” I said and stepped away “Wait- we have to check the twirly” I said and shake my hips like Taylor, gasping at all the movement and shimmer. 

“SADIE!” I call and she came over in her own bodysuit she’d made, akin to the Pink Lover bodysuit she opened the show in. 

“Oh my god!!” We shriek at the same time, hugging eachother and jumping excitedly. 

“You look so good Sadie!!” I laughed and she squeezed me tight. 

“Dude oh my god!! She’s gonna fuckin see us she has to” she said and I laugh excitedly. 

“Oh my godddd” I said clapping excitedly. “Okay c’mon c’mon shoes -“ I said and Sadie gasps. 

“CARMEN! Oh my god!” She said and looked at him, he chuckles 

“Sadie! What!” He smiled wide and she runs over to her suitcase, dropping to her knees and rifling through it. 

She comes back a few moments later with a bag that she throws at his chest and he catches swiftly. “A thank you, well- not a proper one but…you guys need pictures” she said as he ripped the plastic open, taking out the white tshirt and laughing to himself before turning it around to show me  

It was much like the tshirt she regularly wore, except this one had ‘KARMA’ in big black letters. I gasp excitedly looking at Sadie, “cause you’re my BOYFRIEND!” I giggle and kiss his lips sweetly. 

“That I am baby. Well I’m glad it’s not just you guys to be all dressed up, Thank y’bug, really, that was super sweet” he said and I smiled big. 

“ ‘dressed up’ if I knew you were going we’d have a couples costume babe” I go and grab my midnight blue sparkly boots that I’d also bejeweled myself and zip them up. “Am I giving vigilante shit?” I pose with my heel on the bedside chair and Sadie laughs. 

“Yes dude you look fire.” She said, zipping up her own heels. “So do you!! I wish Syd would just give it up and become a Swiftie!! We’re gonna convert her by next tour, then we can all have sparkly outfits” I said confidently and Carm opens the bathroom door, coming out in his new shirt. 

“It’s not a couples costume but it should do, right honey?” He teases and I smile big. 

“Anything on you is made one million times sexier I’m not sure why I ever had a second thought.” I come up, my hands trailing under his shirt as I kissed him deeply. The door opens and I pulled away. 

“I’m Fearless!” Eva said happily, bounding in wearing her brown cowgirl boots and golden fringe dress, shaking around to show us the movement and hugging my waist. 

“And she needs a nap!” Richie mouthed, shutting the door and Carm snorts a laugh. 

“What did you have for lunch pippy?” I picked her up, holding her on my good hip. 

“We had pizza with pepperoni my favorite” she said, gently cupping my cheek. 

“You look like Taylor!!” She said happily “all the sparkles are so prettyyy” she leans in, our foreheads touching “could I have some?” She whispers and I giggle.

“Of course pipsqueak. Here” I set her down on the bed and went over to my suitcase, rifling through my makeup bag and grabbing the same glitter gel I’d used and I come over, dabbing some on her cheeks. 

“Carmy needs some too” she said with her eyes shut and I look at him over my shoulder, a blush splaying over his cheeks. 

“N-no boys don’t- er- Carmy doesn’t need it” he said and I smile. 

“Why not baby? We can all match yeah? It’d be cute. F’me, f’youre special honey” I gave him a pout and fluttered my lashes. 

He sighed “fine.” He sits down next to Eva and I giggled. 

“Carmy” Eva said and his eyes flutter shut as I dab the sparkles along his cheekbones. 

“Mmhmm” he hummed in response. 

“Why do you only listen to Winnie?” She asks curiously and Richie, Sadie and I bust up laughing together. 

He looks at her. “Cause I’m big and I can choose who I do and don’t listen to kid.” He said, poking her arm and she giggled. 

“Sugar says you’re still just a little baby” she teased and he snorts. 

“Sugar is an instigator.” He told her as I plop in his lap with my drink.  

“What’s an instigator?” She repeats

“Someone who starts stuff” I told her and smile a bit. “Like, your daddy always instigates the arguments about the front of the restaurant where he works” i leaned in and whispered to her, causing her to giggle. 

“Hey! I do not” Richie said. 

“Do. Absolutely you do.” Carmen said with a smirk. 

“Yeah yeah alright cousin fuckin’ - let’s just go please. Load up in the car, Eva go potty” he told her and she jumped up running off to the bathroom. I finish off my drink and grabbed my purse, being sure I had everything. 

“I have 2 portable chargers” I told Sadie. 

“Perfecto, I got 3. We should be good” she nods, zipping her purse back up.

By the time we’d gotten to the stadium, (a very quiet ride because Eva had to take a nap or would be a terror most the night) Sadie and I were practically bursting with excitement. 

“Evaaa!” I whisper, gently rubbing her arm. “Guess where we are?” I said and she opens her eyes, looking up and squealing when she sees the stadium.

“WERE GONNA SEE TAYLOR!!!” She squealed.

“Yaassss! Taylorrrr!” Sadie said opening up her door and helping her unbuckle. Carm helped me put my heels on since I knew if I wore them the whole time in the car my hip would hurt before we even got in the stadium.

“Now, only rule- y’tell me when y’re hurtin’, got it?” he whispered in my ear and I look up at him, nodding.

“Promise, I’ll sit down if I start hurting” I said and pucker my lips for a kiss. He obliges before grabbing my purse from the car.

“Y’wanna hold it or want me to babe?” he asked. 

“Uhmmm, can you for now and then when I run out of bracelets i’ll take it?” I ask and he nods, holding my hand and lacing our fingers. 

“Sounds good t’me baby” he said, and we all started the long walk to the stadium entrance.

“Christ cousin- could you have picked a further spot? Y’know how it is with her and walkin’, were gonna be standing all night, jagoff” Carm complains and I nudge him.

“You know what?! You should’ve driven then, Mister fuckin New York, bet you’d have found the bessttt spot right?” he shoots back. 

“Stop!” I flick the back of his head, “And stop” I kiss Carmys cheek gently, “We’re having fun t’night, I promised bear, I’ll tell you if i’m hurting” I said and Richie shoots me a glare.

“So I get a flick, he gets a kiss?! F’startin’ it?!” he complains and I giggle with a shrug. 

“Cousin treatment I guess, er-brother? I dunno, all of our family dynamics are all fucked up” I said.

“Winnie thats a bad word” Eva looks up at me.

“It is a bad word, but sometimes- mmm… listen to your daddy, but I think, cause i’m a grown up and I dont have to listen to my mommy or daddy anymore, - sometimes, bad words can be used to describe bad things. And my family, isn’t very good.” I shrug and she nods.

“I think multiplication homework is all fucked up” she said and Carm, Sadie and I howl with laughter.

“Ayyyy!!!! No! No- not allowed that word ‘till y’re like 13 kid, that was y’re one pass, y’mother is gonna fuc- flipping- kill me if she hears that comin’ from y’mouth” he pats her head gently. 

“Mommy says you and Cousin Carmy are bad influences for me, what does that mean?” She looks up at him and he rolls his eyes. “It means that your mommy is telling you things that are none of your business. When she tells you those things, just say nicely “I dont think thats my business mommy” “ I told her and Carm squeezes my hand assuringly.

We get up to the entrance and I was practically dancing with anticipation, I couldn’t stay still. “Sadie” I said and she looks over “I’m like-” I shake my hands “Like- too excited, it’s too loud, too many people- can we play hands?” I asked , it was a game we’d develouped since we’d both seemed to absorb way too much nervous, excited energy while around crowds like this, where we’d both stand about a foot away from eachother, and push our hands together until one of our feet moved, and the person who remained still would be the winner.

She frowns, “Sorry dude, my hand- remember?” she said and I sighed, nodding and crossing my arms over my middle, squeezing my waist- trying to find any semblance of grounding I could. 

Sadie had broken her hand at work a while ago, and needed some kind of tendon surgery to fix it- so playing hands wasn’t really an option for her since it wasn’t good for her to put pressure on it.

“Whats hands?” Carm asks, wrapping his arm around me- and for whatever reason the material of this shirt was making me cringe right now.

“Agh-” I step away, rubbing over my arm where the fabric brushed me. “Sorry.. Sorry- we haven’t washed it yet” I said and he looks down. 

“My shirt? ‘M sorry baby, it’s buggin you?” he asked and I shook my head. 

“I-it wasn’t i’m just…it’s s’much and I love it but ‘m just…I dunno- hands is a game we like, hold up your hands like this” I show him and he copies. 

“I cant win y’re too strong so just let me push on you” I said and he nods.

 “Push away baby” he smiled a bit and I connected our palms, putting all of my strength into pushing him but of course he didnt budge, he had a little less then a foot and a bit more then 100 pounds on me, so that was to be expected. But the relief of focusing all my energy in to somewhat of a physical release had the same effect.

I gave him a hug when my arms felt like Jelly and rest my cheek on his chest. “Can y’cover my ear so it’s more quiet” I asked him and he nodded, gently covering up my exposed ear with his hand and kissing the top of my head sweetly. I closed my eyes, sighing as I felt a sense of relief flood my senses at the much more dulled noise. “Thank you” I mumble and he rubbed my back gently with is other hand.

About 10 minutes later when the line finally started moving, I’d felt much better and way more regulated. “M’ better, thank you Bear” I told him, puckering my lips.

“Any time angel, y’know I brought your airpods f’you, right? In case you wanted to listen to music in the car? They’re charged, they have the noise cancellation thing on them” he said and my mouth drops.

“Carmen” I said in shock.

“What?!” He chuckles, digging in his pockets and pulling out my pink airpods case. 

“You are the most thoughtful man in the god damn world baby, how did I get so fuckin’ lucky? I didn’t even think of the noise cancellation, y’re so fuckin smart, Bear” I cupped his cheeks, pulling him down for a deep loving kiss.

He pulled away, quicker then I would like, but I still knew he’s a bit shy when it comes to showing love in public. His cheeks were bright pink, and a smile danced on his lips.

“Totally not, but f’some reason I guess you bring the thoughtfulness outta me” he said, slipping the case back in his jeans pocket. I linked our arms together and he got the tickets ready, and Sadie taps both our shoulders suddenly.

We looked back at her, seeing she was holding her phone up “Cheese lovebirds!” She chirps and I smile wide, Carm leans in and kisses my cheek sweetly. “I’m convinced you don’t want Syd and I’s family seeing your face, Carmen” she teases and I giggle, smushing his cheeks and holding his face towards the camera, laughing 

“Get it Sadie!! Quick!” I said and she clicked the button a few times. 

“Perfect got one not blurry one with a smile, thanks Pooh” she slips her phone in her pocket. We got up to the gate and Carm hands the woman scanning our tickets.

“Us five” he motions to us and she nodded, scanning them all. “Enjoy the show, bag check’s up at the doors” she said, handing the tickets back and he put them back in the envelope, and back in my purse securely before we continued on.

“Alright baby so you guys go do your bracelets, Richie, Eva and I are gonna wait for y’re shirts n’ stuff, d’you want drink money?” He asks and I shake my head.

“No sugardaddy i’m fine” I teased, giving him a peck on the lips. “I love you, see you in like 30- er 45 ok? We’ll meet- “ I look over near the doors to see there was a little garden section with a smokers area. “Perfect! Smoke garden there” I point and he nods.

“I love you, be safe yeah? Call me f’r anything y’need” he held my waist securely, waiting for a response.  “Yessss Carmy!” I giggled, “Were amongst friends here, you’ll see everyone is so super nice” I link my arm in Sadies, heading off to meet new fans.

“Oh my god you girls look awesome can my daughter take a picture with the two of you?” a blonde woman asks Sadie and I, I smiled wide - this was not the first time tonight we’d gotten that. Our outfits were an absolute hit tonight. 

“Why of course! Would the two of you like to trade bracelets?” I asked, getting down to the level of the miniature copy of the mother, offering her a “Evermore” bracelet in my hand, adorned with maroon, green and brown beads. 

“Yes please” she said shyly, taking one of the bracelets off her wrist that were much oversized and handing one to me then to Sadie, to which she put a “Karma” bracelet in her hand in return. As we were ending the conversation, Sadie opens her purse, handing over my phone. 

“Carmen” she told me. 

“Sorry ladies- it was so nice talking, my boyfriend is trying to get ahold of us- have a fabulous time” I told them and slid to answer, not even remembering to checking the time. 

“Baby! We just got to the garden, where are you, you alright?” He said. I smile a bit, looking over about 100 paces to my right seeing him standing there, in the smokers garden holding the phone to one ear and a cigarette in the other, taking a drag as he waited for my response.

“Bear” I giggle “Look - mmm- 2 oclock?” I said and he turns the opposite way. “Y’know, f’r a guy thats obsessed with time, y’re shit at finding someone on the clock analogy” I teased and he turned the other way, the setting June sun allowing him to find me and Sadie nearly immediately from the sunlight bouncing off our outfits.

“Jesus dunno how I missed you guys y’re like fuckin bottles of glitter” he chuckled and I hung up, grabbing Sadies arm and leading her over to him. 

“Thank you” I replied when I got up to him, kissing his cheek. “Carmen” I said, looking at the four bags of merch sitting on the table. His cheeks heat slightly. 

“Okay- babe, listen, s’you told me y’wanted that crewneck, and the tshirt, but I f’rgot which t’shirt and I was not waiting in that line again for another hour and a half - so- so I just got like…one of everything - and I also got one for Sadie- perfectly reasonable a-and I got Eva some extra stuff too. But- s’you…just-just chill out here, and i’m gonna go bring this stuff t’the car with Richie.” he said and I laugh.

“Bear! Oh my god- no more gifts until my birthday!” I told him and he chuckled, picking up two of the bags. “Can’t promise anything like that baby, call me if-” I finished for him.

“We need anything” I kissed his lips sweetly. “Thank y’Carmy, really, y’didn’t have to go all out like this - I’ll…” I took a deep breath, trying to contain my emotions. “I’ll never forget this, baby” I said softly, doing everything in my power to hold the tears back.

“I know you wont, angel. I love you” he kissed my forehead sweetly and he and went off with Richie. I sat down immediately after they left, my hip was already starting to feel tight due to the heels and all the up and down crouching to meet little fans. 

“Ooo Eva! Look another little girl in a Fearless dress! Y’wanna go give her a Fearless bracelet?” Sadie asks her and she nods excitedly, holding her hand as they walked over. I watched them, smiling as I did so- taking everything in. 

By the time Carm and Richie had gotten back, Sadie and I were once again tipsy off of the drinks she’d ran and gotten us from the bar truck, and I had been smart enough to sneak in some shots in my bra to give them the extra kick. She’d even gotten Eva a virgin one of her own in the same fancy disposable cup, so she wouldnt feel left out. 

“Fuck you walk fast” Richie says, plopping down in the seat across from me at the little patio table we’d claimed, panting. 

“You walk slow as shit Cousin” Carm pats my shoulder for me to get up and sit in his lap, for which I was very grateful- because even through the alcohol my hip began throbbing from sitting on the hard metal chair. 

I get up, taking my spot in his comfortable lap and sighing in relief. He digs out a cigarette from his jacket pocket he’d put on, lighting one between his lips. The sun had already went down most of the way and the 60 degree weather, which was cold to me- wasn’t going to do anything good for my hip.  “Did y’bring mine?” I ask him quietly. 

“Y’re prerolls baby? I brought 3 f’you, you hurtin’ already?” he asks after he took a drag. I bit the inside of my lip gently and shrug, looking at my lap. “Alright no more bracelets, I want y’to be able to enjoy y’rself baby, here” he hands me his cigarette to hold for him while he dug my preroll out of his pocket, lighting it for me before we switched. I leaned against his chest, taking a drag and blowing it away from the table. 

“Thank y’for remembering, Bear” I said softly and he wrapped his arm around my waist securely, rubbing my good hip gently. 

“Course angel” He mutters and kisses my shoulder before having another drag of his cigarette.

By the time I finished my preroll, I was feeling much better, the pain was mostly non-existant and would stay that way for hopefully a few hours. I finished the rest of my drink on the way in to bag check, chucking the disposable cup with Taylors name on it in the garbage.

By the time we’d gotten to our seats Sadie, Eva and I were balls of excitement. The view of the stage was insane. Sadie and I were in the upper bowl last time, so seeing how really big the stage was, was crazy. My head - Carms head, wouldnt even hit the top of it, which told me that it had to be taller then 6 feet. “Y’know” I said, to Carm, “I don’t know why I thought the stage would be…shorter? But Taylor wears 6 inch heels, so shes 6’5? 6’6 in her shoes? So to get around under there-”

“Six fucking foot?!” he exclaimed, eyes wide. I laughed at his surprise.

“Yaaas! 6 foot tall amazonian goddess” I giggle and he raised his eyebrows.

“Shit I knew she was tall but when I met ‘er the other-” he slaps his hand over his mouth, and my eyes nearly bulge out of my head, and Richie and Sadies head snap in his direction. 

“You WHAT?!”

“YOU MET WHO!?”

“BEAR WHAT” 

Sadie, Richie and I all spoke at once and he shakes his head. “No- Like- no” he laughs nervously, shaking his head. “No not what I meant- I meant if y’know like if I met ‘er” he said, and I knew he was lying through his teeth.

“Did you meet Taylor Alison Swift, yes or no- if you lie, I will never let you touch me again” I said, staring into his very soul. It only took about 3 seconds for him to crack.

“Itwasonlyf’rlike3minutesandshegavemetheticketscauseherboyfriendlikesitalianfood” he blurted out and my eyes widen.

“No - no- Carmen. You MET HER?!” I said and he gives me a shy nervous smile.

“Mmmhmm..but like- 2 seconds babe- and- yeah shes fuckin huge- like- so tall” he said and I shook my head. 

“What did you say to her- go, in your brain- now - because I know you have a fucking photographic memory, and tell me what transpired, Carmen. Tell me” I squeeze his wrist in anticipation and he sighed. 

“That- that you really wanted t’come here, and that you love her music, and that- that she reminds me of a cat? And she laughed! I made her laugh babe” he said smiling bigger.

My jaw drops once more “SADIE” I lean over, looking at her. “Do you know what this MEANS?! TAYLOR Thinks MY Boyfriend is FUNNY! That means…that means- she likes what I like…so- oh my god- we’d totally be friends- Carm likes you, Carm likes me- She liked Carm, She likes us!!!” I said excitedly and Sadie nods with a big smile.

“We are so delulu” she said, laughing and Carm chuckles. 

“The hell is delulu?” He questions and I laughed.  “Delusional my lovely old man” I peck his lips gently and he shakes his head with a smile.

I had forced myself to sit suring the BOYGENIUS set, even though I did quite enjoy them, I had to save my energy for Taylor. I made a bit of an acception for Sabrina though, since Sadie and I hadn’t seen her before, and her stage presence was so magnetic that we just couldn’t help but get up and dance.

When the clock came on the screen, Richie, Sadie, Eva and I shot up out of our seats and Carm got the hint as well. “Alright baby whats happening” He asked and I giggle, jumping like a kid on Christmas with excitement. 

“The QUEEN is about to come out!” I said in his ear over the screaming and looked back to the screen, my hands coming to my mouth in anticipation. 

At the sound of the first ‘It’s been a long time comin’ Sadie, Eva, Richie and I scream. 

“FUCK YEAHHH!!!” Richie whoops, causing me to giggle. I held Sadies hand tightly as the dancers come out with the breathtaking watercolor shell like billowing tapestries, bowing at the front of the stage over where Taylor comes out. 

Carm leans over, “What’s with the flags baby?” he asked in my ear.

I gently rest my hand on my cheek, he crouches down slightly so I could hear him. “Its the birth of Venus, the analogy” I told him and he nods. I let go of his hand as the beginning sequence ended putting my hands on top of my head, completely unsure how to cage the all-consuming surge of emotions coursing through my veins.

‘It’s been a long time comin’ but- Its you and me- Thats my whole world! They whisper in the hallway ‘shes a bad bad girl’ Okay! The whole school is rollin’ fake dice, you play stupid games you win stupid prizes!’ 

Sadie, Richie, Eva and I go nuts, scream singing every word, dancing and jumping. I didnt even realize I was crying until I felt Carm’s hand around my waist, leaning down and saying in my ear, “Havin’ fun honey?” 

I looked up to him, Smiling huge “THE MOST FUN EVER! I LOVE YOU!!!” I shout loud enough for him to hear, kissing his lips lovingly before continuing to watch. Sadie and I dance and sing and scream for the rest of Miss Americana, and when It got to the Cruel Summer bridge, the whole stadium was buzzing with excitement. 

“Alright New York City!” Taylor says and everyone screams in response. “We have arrived, at the very first bridge this evening- And you may know this is my only show in this beautiful city that is my home away from home- So I want you to scream it!!! Lets Go!!” and scream it Sadie, Eva, Richie and I do. 

During Lover, Carm sweetly held me as we swayed and listened, his arms wrapped around my waist and I rested my head against his chest, soaking in the sweetness of the moment. And of course, during The Archer, her comforted me while I cried because of how much the song meant for me and my anxiety problems, kissing my forehead and gently wiping my tears. 

During Fearless Eva spun in the isle while Taylor did, and I could’ve sworn Taylor saw her by the kiss she blew in our direction between verses - but all of my intuition was shown to be right, because during the ‘Enchanted’ era, A woman in a black tshirt and black pants comes up to our isle, walking infront of me and Carm down to Richie and Evas seat, and whispers something in Richies ear, to which he nods very quickly, before leaning down and whispering something in Evas ear and she jumps up and down, until the woman in the black shirt whispers something else in her ear and she very quickly calmed down, nodding obediently and taking the womans hand.

Sadie gives me wide eyes as shes taken with the woman and stands up with the woman where the barricade is. “What’s goin on with Eva?” Carm asks in my ear. 

It took everything in me to not burst in to tears knowing how much this was going to mean to Eva. “Shes gonna get the hat!” I told him and his eyes widen. 

“During- during 22?” He asked and I nod excitedly. He got his phone out, ready to record. When the time came, Eva was brought to sit on a platform right in front of the stage, and was sitting on her knees as she patiently waited, wiggling around to the song.

Richie right behind her at the barricade in the isle, recording the whole interaction, and Sadie and I sing and dance to the song, relishing in the pure enchantment on Eva’s face as Taylor kneels in front of her, trading bracelets with her before putting the hat on her head and brushing the rim playfully and getting up to continue singing. As soon as the security lifted Eva back over the barricate, she sprints in to Richies arms, and he picks her up, spinning her around and kissing her cheek. 

“Oh my godddd!” I said my heart melting at the sight and Carm stops filming, I look up to see a few stray tears wetting his cheeks as well.

“Ohhhh my sweet bear” I said, rubbing his chest gently. 

“Holy fuck! Look at that!!” Richie said as he comes back to their seats. Eva bounces all around, a whole new fire to her energy. 

School on Monday is gonna be epic for her surely.

During All Too Well ten minute version, Carm and I decided to sit and have some water to let my hip get some much needed rest for a little bit. He wrapped his arm around me, leaning back in his seat and running a hand through his hair, yawning. “Tired?” I ask and he nodded a bit. 

“I didn’t think I would be t’be honest, y’know how late we stay up, think I just need a cigarette if ‘m honest” he said and I nodded. I rest my head on his shoulder, continuing to watch Taylor infront of us. 

Thankfully, the Folklore era was next, which wasn’t too much of a dancey album- so we all got to sit for 20 minutes through all too well, and betty, which was very nice that we had some time to recharge, especially since after this era, 1989 era was next, which Sadie and I were both huge fans of. I sat up for The Last Great American Dynasty though, Screaming along with Sadie, 

“There goes THE LOUDEST WOMAN THIS TOWN HAS EVER SEEN!!!” as did the majority of the crowd.

I held Carms hand during August, resting my head on his shoulder once more and he gives me a kiss on the forehead. “Is- is she barefoot babe?” he asks in my ear and I laughed, looking up at him.

“No silly- shes wearing ballet slippers? Like what ballerinas wear before they go on pointe?” I said and he nods. 

“Ahhh” he said and chuckled a bit. “S’rry they’re so close to her skin color” he said and I shook my head, giggling. 

Standing up right away with Sadie and Eva when she came over to our side to wave and waving at her excitedly, blowing kisses and holding up hearts. She smiles big and waves back at us that had to be for us- shes looking right at us.

Sadie and I jump and scream, remaining standing since she walked down the whole length of the stage, and we would get insane videos and pictures since she was going to stopping right in front of us or the majority of the song. 

It took my breath away, when she stopped, belting the bridge, and dropping to her knees right in front of us on the stage. ‘And I can go anywhere I want, Anywhere I want, just not home. And you can aim for my heart, go for blood. But you would still miss me in your bones. And I still talk to you - when I'm screaming at the sky, And when you can't sleep at night - you hear my stolen lullabies. I didn't have it in myself to go with grace and so the battleships will sink beneath the waves’ She stood up, her white gown flowing like angel wings as she spun around and began her decent back down the stage.

I wiped the tears streaming down my face from the touching performance, shaking my hands and rolling my shoulders when she song was over. Carm kisses my temple, “Y’happy angel?” He asked, and I look up at him as if he got me the moon on a fucking string.

“Happy? I’m…fuckin elated, baby- I cant even digest how happy I am right now” I laugh and pulled him in to a sweet kiss. 

We all sang and dance along to 1989, Carm being very proud of himself for knowing all the words- probably since they were so popular when he was living in New York, and he’d told me once while watching this era during the movie for the 50 millionth time, that alot of the songs they “played to death” in the restaurants he worked. 

It was so fuckin fun to watch him fully let loose, and dance with me, sing with me, not a speck of shyness to be found. It just turned up my fire to 100, giving me a whole new love for this album. 

“And to the fella over there with the hella good hair Won't you come on over, baby? We can shake, shake, shake” I sang along, ruffling Carm’s messy curls and he laughs, kissing me sweetly before the beat dropped again and I started bouncing and happily dancing again. 

At the beginning of Bad blood, I tap him and he leans in “ ‘sup baby?” he asks.

“When she says ‘If you live like that, you live with ghosts’ f’r the first time, you gotta screeeeam ‘you forgive, you forget, but you never let it go’- ok?” I told him and he nods, giving me a thumbs up.

“Got it” he said and I giggled happily, turning my attention back to the stage. When she sang it, without fail, Carm shouted along with Me, Sadie, Richie and Eva as promised and Richie slaps his back approvingly.

“Fuck yeahhh cousin!! You study?” He teased and Carm shook his head.

“No need,” he wraps his arm around me. “ Got a professional w’me most the time” he kissed my head and I laughed, resting my head on his shoulder lovingly.

When Taylor came out in her red surprise song dress, I held Carms hand, screaming excitedly. 

“Hellooooo” she said adorably, strumming her guitar. “So- you’ve made it to the acoustic set, if you didn’t know, every show I sing a few different songs from my catalog cause, y’can only fit so much into a concert- and I’ve been told i’ve released an ungodly amount of albums” she giggles, getting a ton of laughs from the crowd of course, we all fuckin’ adore her. 

“So tonight, I usually only take requests from friends, but I got this request the other day- and the songs actually sounded like they’d go cute together, and y’guys know me, of course i’ll spice em up for you a little” she said and started the opening chords.

“The way you move is like a full on rainstorm, and I’m a house of cards, you’re the kinda wreckless that should send me runnin’ but I kinda know that I wont get far” She sings, and I couldn’t contain it anymore- I burst into tears. This song means so much to me, the amount of times Chris and I listened to this song together- it was his favorite Taylor song, which led it to become my favorite song of hers after he passed. 

Carm rubs my arm gently, holding me to his chest and squeezing me gently. “I love you” he said in my ear and kisses my temple. I took a shaking breath, not even able to respond as this was the first time i’d heard this song live before, and all I could imagine was how much Chris would’ve loved this show. 

I lean in to him, watching the stage, and once Sadie realizes what was happening, she wraps her arms around me as well, resting her head on my shoulder. “He’s probably here, y’know, spiteful fuck wouldn’t come here in the afterlife unless you were with ‘em right? So lets party with em, not cry” Sadie said in my ear and I smiled, looking over at her.

“Have I told you you’re the bestest friend and my fuckin platonic soulmate?” I told her and she giggles, wiping my tears. 

“Yes, I believe once or twice, and you’re mine - now are we gonna cry during the bridge? Or are we gonna lose our fucking minds?” she asked and I nodded, holding her hand and sniffling, finding my composure once more. There would be loads of time to digest this and cry about it later on, for now I want to live in this beautiful, happy moment. 

“I run my fingers through your hair and watch the lights go wild!! Just keep on keepin’ your eyes on me, It's just wrong enough to make it feel right!” we held hands, dancing and laughing and singing. It truly was magical.

But I was awestruck when instead of finishing the bridge, she slips in to Mine instead, Carm and I’s song, the song that reminded me so much of him. I look at him, jaw dropped as she sings.

“Brace myself for the goodbye, cause it’s all i’ve ever known, but you took me by surprise- you said ‘I’ll never leave you alone..’ “ before slipping right back in to sparks fly, “Drop everything now, meet me in the pourin’ rain, kiss me on the sidewalk, take away the pain” and going back to Mine again, “He said ‘I remember how it felt sittin’ by the water, and every time I look at you it’s like the first time.” and going back again to sparks fly, “So get me with those green eyes baby as the lights go down give me somethin’ that’ll haunt me when i’m not around, cause i’ve seen sparks fly whenever you smile” before switching back again, “You made a rebel of a careless mans careful daughter you are the best thing, thats ever been mine. Do you believe it? And the sparks fly” 

I hugged him tightly, sobbing in to his chest. He doesnt know how much this means to me. For us to be here, together tonight, and for her to play 2 of the most important songs to me, the songs that remind me of the two people I love most - It was borderline overwhelming.

For the next song per usual she sat down at her piano, and without another speech, started playing the opening chords of Evermore and Sadie and I lost it, screaming ferally with the rest of the stadium once we realized which song it was. 

Carm laughs at our excitement, rubbing my back. “S’did she pick good ones t’night?” he asked in my ear. I look up at him, everything clicking in to place for how he planned every single thing about this night. 

I shook my head, laughing and pulling him to me. “You have unlimited head, for the rest of our lives” I told him and he laughed, kissing my cheek gently.

“I wont say no to that- if y’re offerin” he mused, patting my bum gently. I kiss him again and again, wrapping my arm around his middle and resting my head on his chest, hugging him tightly. 

“I love you” I said and kissed his neck sweetly. He brushed my sweaty curls from my forehead, gently stroking my cheek with his forefinger. 

“I love you baby, s’much, endlessly” he said and kissed my lips once more.

I rested in to him as he held me from behind, “This ones sad babe..but what the hell does unmoored mean?” he said in my ear and I giggle, Looking up at him.

“A mooring is where ships are docked during a storm, baby, if your ships unmoored- y’re fucked” I told him and he raised his eyebrows, nodding and continuing to listen along intently. 

He wraps his arms around me securely, resting his chin atop my head, and I’d never felt safer, more secure, more loved, and thought of, and listened to then I did in this moment. Hot tears stream down my cheeks but a huge smile was still plastered on my face. My entire chest felt warm, like I could explode with all of the love that was coursing through me, I felt like I was literally glowing.

When the song finished, I look up at him with a small sad pout. “Only one more era… then it’s all done” I said a bit sadly and he chuckles.

“Only one more baby? Your voice is already gone, I don’t think we could do anymore after it’s over” he said and kisses my forehead, wiping the residual tears from my cheeks and eyes. I giggled a bit.

“Sorry, I know my voice probably sounds annoying” I said and clear my throat, it did feel really raw, and sore as well. I was probably not gonna have much of a voice for a good few days.

He furrowed his eyebrows, “Baby, you could never annoy me, it’s cute - it shows you had alot of fun” he said, rubbing my hip gently. 

I lean in, kissing his lips gently before the beginning of Lavender Haze started and Sadie and I go nuts, - Richie just pumps his fist, as he was now holding a sleeping Eva in his arms and I pout, grabbing my phone and taking a photo before turning my attention back to the stage.

During Vigilante Shit, Carm leans down and says in my ear, “Y’gonna dance f’me like that in your pretty outfit baby?” he asked and I felt butterflies swarming in my stomach, if my cheeks werent already flushed from moving around so much i’d be blushing like mad.

“If you can handle it- we havent even got to the good part yet” I teased, kissing his jaw gently and he kissed my lips hungrily.

“T’morrow, i’m cashin in on one of those tickets f’head mentioned earlier, and y’re wearin’ that” he told me and I look up at him, a pesky smirk on my lips and I raised my eyebrows surprised at his boldness. 

“Someones in a mood” I giggled and peck his lips before turning my attention back to the stage. 

During Bejewled when Taylor came to the end of the stage shaking her hips to show off her fringe, I stepped in the isle, jumping and waving to try and get her attention and shook my hips, mirroring her. She smiled wide and pointed at me before she said her little ‘Nice!’ waving in my direction and I’m glad Carm had followed me in to the isle because when she walked away my knees nearly buckled under me. 

Sadie came over, jumping in excitement and patting my arm excitedly, “DUDE!!! DUDDEEEE!!! SHE SAID HIII!!!” She laughed and hugs me tight and we bounced and jumped and sang the rest of the whole song, nothing could’ve brought me down in that moment. 

We danced and sang to Mastermind, and when she came out with her Rainbow jacket, I point at her, tugging Carms sleeve and he leans down to hear me.

“I lied!!! If you can find one of those rainbow jackets for a reasonable price- I’ll accept” I told him and he laughs, nodding and giving me a thumbs up. 

“I’ll try t’find one f’you princess, promise” He kissed my temple. 

Carm and I danced hand in hand to Karma together, singing every lyric, him knowing them all since i’d listened to it so often with him around, and it was one of her more repetitive songs after all, pointing to him when we’d sing, ‘Karma is my boyfriend’, dancing, jumping around, laughing, fully enjoying ourselves. We all needed this. 

When the song ended, and Taylor was thanking her band and dancers, a man with a stage headset wearing black jeans and a black shirt, similar to the woman who collected Eva, came down the row, stopping at Carm and saying something in his ear.

He looks back at them, a confused look on his face, “Who? I don’t know anyone in there-” he said and the man leaned in again, saying something else in his ear and Carm’s eyebrows raised in surprise. He looked at me before back at the man. “Okay- but i’m takin’ her.” he said, pointing to me, and the man shook his head.

“Just you-” he replied over the music and Carm shakes his head in response.

“Tell ‘em I said where I go, she goes, so he can fuck all the way off if she can’t come with” he said and the man shrugged, walking off again. 

“What was that?” I asked him over the music. 

“Travis Kelce wanted t’talk t’me? But the douche said only I could go, ‘mnot doin’ that” he shook his head, resuming clapping and cheering with the rest of the crowd. My jaw drops and I hit his arm gently.

“Babe! What the hell? No!!! Go over there!!! Do you know how much business it would bring if he talked about The Bear on his podcast?” I asked and he shrugs in response.

“Don’t care, I need y’with me babe. I can’t talk t’him without you, Taylor will probably be there- I can’t just…go meet her without you, thats fucked” he said and I pout, hugging his arm and the same man comes over again.

“Alright, but just you, and her, no one else” he explained and Carm nods, grabbing his jacket from the chair and lacing our fingers together as we followed. I felt my heart racing. So hard that I felt my pulse in my throat, it was taking everything in me to just pay attention to each step and not stumble over my own feet. 

We’re led to a white tent, various famous people standing about, but the tallest person there also- seemingly the biggest personality in the room, had invited us. “Yoooooo there he is! Bro- wassup!” he comes over, giving Carm a guy hug, patting his back firmly.

“Y’guys like the show? Fuckin’ crazy shit right!!” he said. His voice was booming, and I thought Carmy was loud- even he wouldn’t win in a screaming match with this guy. 

“Yeah, really awesome she puts on a fantastic show, Nice t’meet you I’m Carmen- everyone usually just calls me Carm though, and this is my girl, Winnie” he said and I smiled nervously, giving a small wave. I literally could find no words to say to this man, I felt everything I said would make it back to Taylor and I’d end up embarrassing myself. 

“Winnie!! Cool like the bear? Sick name, that outfits firreee girl! Where’d you get it?” he asks and my eyes widen and I looked down at my outfit and back at him, my cheeks going red.

“Uh- I-I made it?” I said in awe that he recognized anything at all about me. Mostly the fact that he was a guy, a football jock at that, but also - he is dating the most beautiful, sought after women in the world at the moment.

“Whaaat?! Shit!! You Swifties are crazy Taylor’s gonna love that she should be-” 

“TRAVYYYY” we heard and I spun around so fast I thought my head may fly off to see Taylor fucking SWIFT barreling up to her boyfriend, and jumping into his arms- wrapping herself around him the same way I did with Bear. My grip on his arm tightened and I look up at him like an absolute deer in headlights.

“C’mon- go say hi princess, shes really nice” he whispers in my ear. 

“Thereee she is, you did so amazing honey!” Travis told her, spinning her around causing her to laugh excitedly. 

“Oh my god- Heyyy Chef! Did Travis drag you over here?” she asked, hopping down from his arms and Carm chuckled a bit.

“Hardly dragged, but uh yeah- great- awesome show, still stand by what I said about the cat thing, though” Carm said with one of his teasing grins and I just look between them, in utter shock. He was playing around with her?!

She laughed, turning to Travis  “Trav- he told me that I remind him of his cat during tolerate it, y’know I was thinking about that the whole song” she said and Travis chuckles.

“Thats the highest compliment you could’ve given her. Her and cats is somethin’ else. But- look babe” he told her and motions to my outfit.

“T she made that” he said and my heart was thumping so hard it felt like it would fly out of my chest. I felt so small in front of her, both physically and emotionally. I was unsure why I felt this way, the love I had for the woman in front of me was unreal, but there was like a…mental block? Anything i’d ever wanted to tell her had slipped my mind, and my whole brain was dark and empty. 

“Oh my GOD no way! Crazy holy shit” she said coming over and running her fingers over the beads. Carm nudges me gently, urging me to talk to her.

“Tell her baby, about all the beads” he said and I swallow thickly, nodding.

“I-um- Hi I-im Winnie..it’s like- This is crazy I-wow… um - so- so see um…they're in clusters of 13 and 7 alternating, a-and.. There are 89…rows, um each- each section. S-so like this panel and the back one a-and then, I didn’t plan it, but each um..each big bead it ended up being perfect if I secured them 13 times, s-so they’d like stick up how y’rs do” I rambled nervously and she leaned in, looking closer.

“Wow” she whispered, “This is sick- you’re a professional then?” she stood up straight, towering over me once more and I looked up at her.

“Um” I manage to get out.

“She could be- she spent…what was it babe? 450 hours on this? And y’took that sewing class, and that rhinestone class and everything?” Carm encourages, it’s not supposed to be him who’s the talker. He’s probably panicking right now and i’m gonna be the reason for a panic attack when we got out of here.

“Yeah! Mmmhmm- and y’re like- wow Taylor” my sudden realization such a high stakes social situation would absolutely be freaking him out. “I- like- I’ve been such a fan of your art since like- Middle School- I- I couldn’t see you until I was older cause’- y’know, life gets in the way, but- last year I got this-” I paused, pulling up my hair and showing her the little mirrorball script tattoo on the back of my neck.

She gasped, running her finger over it gently, and even though I was hot, goosebumps still rose on my flesh. “ Wow “ she said softly. “Thats…thats so pretty…I love the grey its so delicate and pretty” she said.

I turned to her again, smiling big and taking her hands. “Thats how I am about everything you accomplish - just, Wowed everything you do, everything you are- like- you’ll be in the history books- there are so many things about you and your career that are like- just..like-” I laugh, shaking my head. “How do you do it? I know thats like… a stupid question? But like- It’s…like insanity” I said and she laughs a bit, nodding. 

“Thank you! Honestly I-I don’t…really know? Alot of times…Like- I can tell we’re not too far apart in age just by how you carry yourself and stuff and… hearing you listened to me in middle school- it’s like- crazy because I’ve lived one million lives since then…I guess thats how? But really..it means alot that my art means alot to you, and i’m so grateful that you came. The tattoo is so pretty, also- your name is just like…Adorable” she squeezed my hands and I felt tears welling up behind my eyes.

“I’m so sorry to be a freak and cry, you’re just, so special, like- not in a fan way- in a human way. You-” I took a deep breath. “You are a light, a beacon for so so many young women, Taylor. And you have been for so long - and you will only get better, you have proved that. Like- i’m not sure if some guy really told you your aura was moonstone, but it truly is, you just sparkle, and - you like…are just- Thank you, for being you, and thank you for being so raw in your music, and just…thank you” I said and she pulls me into a hug, wrapping her arms around me. 

“Thank you, Winnie” she said, rubbing my back. I internally was uncontrollably sobbing and screaming but- on the outside, I somehow managed to just hold her back and hug her like a normal person. 

“I’m sorry- im sure you’re probably annoyed with hearing that stuff but…it’s true, and- I…I guess thats what makes you you- is how humble you are…like- you know I’ve never heard a bad word about you?” I asked and she laughed, pulling away and looking at me.

“C’mon, y’re kidding” she rolled her eyes with a smile, “I’ve seen plenty of awful things about me” she said and I shook my head.

“N-no! No, Taylor, like- sure do people come after your looks, and your voice, because thats all they have to try and pick apart- shallow bullshit..even though you’re like- factually a model - and any person who’s studied a lick of music knows that you have an undeniably insane range and incredible vocal and breath control- this isn’t out of my ass Taylor, I-I was in theater because you inspired me...I was like ‘if this cool 16 year old can put out an album I can do a play’ and I did.. But-but this is about you. I’ve never heard a bad word about you- I’ve been in your fandom for gosh- a year after you started in 2006? All over.. Gee- twitter, facebook, myspace, the old swift app, everything, And i’ve never ever-ever seen someone online or in real life thats like ‘oh my gosh i met Taylor Swift and she is sooo mean’ - anything i’ve ever heard, about things that matter- you are a beautiful, humble, kind person.” I said and she pouted, pulling me into another hug.

“Are you trying to make me cry?” She asks with a giggle, holding me tight. Her PR manager, Tree, comes into the VIP tent. 

“Lets get a move on chicky poo - gotta be on the plane in an hour,” she told Taylor and she pulled away. 

“Duty calls” she sighs and I giggled.

“It was..enchanting to meet you Miss Swift” I said with a smile and she laughs, pulling me into another hug.

“I like you, you’re sweet, we’ll meet again sometime, ok? Trav is over there chattin’ up your boyfriend to get us into his restaurant for a night” she assured and I look up at her.

“What?! Oh my GOD! Thats…wow- we’d love to have you in Chicago.” I said and Carm comes up, grabbing my wrist.

“C’mon, we’ve been kicked” he joked and Travis laughs a bit.

“I’ll text you man, we’re gonna have a few spare days later this month i’ll try to give plenty of notice” Travis said, coming over and wrapping his arms around Taylors middle and kissing her head.

“Y’ready?” he asks her and she nods, sighing a bit.

“Exhausted” she told him and I squeeze her hand.

“Get some rest, y’deserve it. Kick ass show by the way- I’d go every night if I could- also, sorry I sound like…this- I wasn’t kidding when I said I love your music” I giggled a bit and she nods, smiling big.

“I love it - means you had a great time, ginger tea, and lots of local honey you’ll be good as new in a day or two if you just chug it consistently, its mostly water anyway” she said and I nod, finally letting her go. 

“Thank you again…See you soon” I said and we all said our goodbyes. As soon as we were out of eye and ear shot I laugh loudly, jumping up and down, dancing around. “CARMENNNN!!!” I squeaked, hugging him and jumping happily. 

“Bear- She likes me” I said excitedly, practically dragging him outside where Richie, Eva, and Sadie were sat at one of the smoke garden tables, Sadie jumps up, bounding over to me and I hug her. 

“Dude- everything tell me everything” She said, I broke down in to tears.

“Shes so sweet Sadie!! She- she said she liked my outfit!! A-and Carmy and Travis are gonna be BEST FRIENDS” I cried and she rubs my back. Carmen laughed, for once at my tears, but it was tears of pure joy, so neither of us felt bad at his amusement for my emotional reaction. “Dude-WAIT- of course she liked it - C’mon- what did she say, like- start to finish also- why is Carm gonna be his best friend?” and the entire walk back to the car, as well as the whole drive home, Carm and I gave the three of them a play by play of our entire 10 minute meeting with them.

➵ 𝐍𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ♡♡♡ ⋙

[geluckgk]

Pomme's songs

I love Pomme (the artist) and Pomme (the egg) and I think a lot of her song are really relatable to Pomme's characters and others so let me ramble a bit !

PLUS It could be YOUR occasion to discover a bit of French music :D

1 Ceux qui rêvent (Those that dream)

It is about insomnia, and it just one of my fav song of her and obviously their is this great animatic about Pomme !

2 La lumière (the light)

The song Pomme reference in her latest book to Bad. It is about losing someone to Alzheimer, it's a song meant to be brutal and soft at the same time.

Obiously very relatable to Pomme for the past days with bad, espcially the sweat despair stream.

3 Pourquoi la mort de fait peur (why does death scares you)

Well lots of talk about death in the qsmp and in Pomme's life and this songs is about how love can ease the anxiety towards death. For me it is a dappleduo song but honestly could be about a lot of people.

favorite quotes (translated) :

"I will keep you away from the pain

And our bodies will float in tears

We'll sleep together

We'll float in tears

Together"

"Our souls spoke to each other two thousand years ago

In a language that nobody understands"

4 On brûlera (we will burn)

OKAY one of my fav outside her more popular one. About love, dying together and letting the ocean eat our bodies.

More precisly the song about love that will wins against homophobia and even death, a love that always triumph always (Pomme is married to another songstress Safia Nolin)

And I mean, a song about dying, hell, angels and goodbye you could so easily make it about Bad.

"We will both burn in hell, my angel

I planned our goodbyes to Earth, my angel"

"I want to die in your arms

Let the sea eat our bodies

Let the salt wash our hearts"

(The snails are a metaphor of a love seemed dirty and hated by society)

5 Adieu mon homme (Goodbye my man)

Song about separation, can honeslty be taken about the death of a loved one. For me this one is really about the eggs and their dead siblings. (Those line could espcially be about Richas and Bobby)

"I swear we will see each other again

I'm just waiting for death to come

For her to come for me"

(All translation where done by me so maybe not 100% accurate)

[gavroche-le-moineau]

L’air de la misère / The air of misery

We're at this part in Les Mis Letters so here is my translation and annotations of one of Fantine's songs on the Original Concept Album, "L'air de la misère." The tune of this song would get used in the final musical as Éponine's "On My Own."

You can find a PDF of the translation here: L'air de la misère

[Fantine] J’avais des si jolis défauts j’étais rêveuse, j’étais coquette un peu naïve, mais pas trop pour ne jamais perdre la tête et je me faisais fête¹ d’un chant d’oiseau, d’un jour nouveau Je n’ai plus qu’une robe grise qui sert aussi de couverture quand le vent glacé de l’hiver tourne la nuit dans ma masure et plus beaucoup d’honneur de dignité au fond du cœur

[Fantine] I had such pretty flaws I was a dreamer, I was a coquette A little naive, but not too much So as to never lose my head And I used to look forward¹ to a bird’s song, to a new day I have no more than one grey dress That also serves as a blanket When the icy winter wind Swirls around my hovel at night And not much honor left Or dignity at the bottom of my heart

NOTE 1. “je me faisais fête” – While “se faire une fête de” means “to look forward to,” I think it’s important to point out that within this phrase is “faire fête,” meaning to celebrate, literally to have a party.

La misère n’est mère de personne² la misère est pourtant sœur des hommes mais personne sur terre n’en veut pour fille comme bâtarde née dans un cachot de la Bastille La misère enfante la détresse bien des vices et toutes les faiblesses³ la misère lâche la bête en l’homme et la mésange alors en chienne errante se transforme⁴

Misery is the mother of no one² Misery is nevertheless a sister of men But no one on this earth wants her for a daughter Like a bastard born in a dungeon of the Bastille Misery gives birth to distress Plenty of weaknesses and all frailties³ Misery lets loose the beast in man And the chickadee transforms into a stray dog⁴

NOTES 2. “La misère n’est mère de personne” – It is important to keep in mind throughout this song that “misery” in French is feminine, so it is referred to as a mother, sister, daughter, etc.

3. “des vices… des faiblesses” – “Vices” could just as well be translated as “vices” and “faiblesses” as “weaknesses / feebleness.” I simply chose the two English words that I thought sounded best.

4. “la mésange alors en chienne errante se transforme” – Remember again that misery is feminine, so in this phrase we have “la mésange,” which is a small cute bird (family Paridae which includes tits, titmice, and chickadees) with a feminine noun, and the noun for dog here is also feminine. In English the word for a female dog, a bitch, has strong negative connotations whereas the word used here, “chienne” can simply mean a female dog, so I chose to translate it as “dog.”

Il faut qu’on se sente survivre dans un enfant qu’on a fait vivre⁵ et qu’en sa source d’innocence on noie notre désespérance⁶ pour ne pas mettre fin à cette vie sans lendemain [Refrain]

You need to feel you are surviving In a child you brought to life⁵ And in whose source of innocence We drown our hopelessness⁶ So as not to put an end To this life with no tomorrow [Chorus]

NOTES 5. “survivre ... vivre” – I want to highlight the chosen words here. “Vivre” means “to live” so it’s easy to recognize it in the word “survivre” (to survive) and the phrase “faire vivre” (to bring to life / to give birth to). In addition, while I translated these lines using the pronoun “you,” in French the pronoun is “one.”

6. “source d’innocence … on noie” – Here, the word “source” is exactly equivalent to the English, but should evoke the meaning “the source of river / spring / of water” due to the next line which refers to drowning in this source. In this sentence, the literal French is again “one drowns” (which can also be translated as “you” or the royal “we”), however “notre désespérance” explicitly uses the word “our” for “our hopelessness.”

I've always thought it was interesting that Fantine got two songs in the Original Concept Album- this one, in addition to "J'avais rêvé d'une autre vie" which is the direct equivalent to "I Dreamed a Dream." In order, L'air de la misère comes before she sells her hair, while I Dreamed a Dream comes after and ends with reference to her sex work, and what would become the song "Lovely Ladies."

[thedemonscrawler]

Gator Glossary

So for Permission Slip I decided to lean into the fact that Monty is meant to be Cajun, as best I can tell from like one voiceline ("Where you at?" but then again Monty only has like 6 voicelines anyway). As a consequence of that I wanted him to actually include some Cajun French in his speaking-- but also now I gotta balance that with reader understanding 8'D So every bit of dialouge with him has me biting my nails of going 'is this too much? is this being obnoxious with it?"

The rules I set for myself are:

No crucial information will be written in Cajun French. This way it's okay if you don't understand one or two words, as they won't be critical to the overall sentence or paragraph.

None of the animatronics (including Monty) swear, so no Cajun French swears either.

But! As totally not a way to procrastinate, here's a glossary of all the Cajun French Monty has used so far in the story.

Couyon - Actually spelled Couillon but I went with the phonetic pronunciation. Means 'foolish' or 'crazy', but not in a really serious way. Monty is basically just yelling "Hey! Stupid-head!"

Mais (May) - But or Well. Just kind of used as a general purpose exclamation to start a sentence. Mentally I always fill in 'Well' when working out the dialogue.

Cher (Sha) - Love, dear

Cho! (Coo-e) - just kind of a general exclamation like "Well alright then!"

T-Soliel (Tee-Solay) - 'Soliel' is the french word for 'sun', and T or Tee is short for 'petite' or little, and is put at the front of names as a nickname. Monty uses this with Sun because they're pretty good friends.

Bête - stupid; C’est bête! - That's stupid

Possede - A bad, mischevious kid. I figured this one looked enough like it's literal meaning (possessed) that it'd be okay, because I really wanted it to be used for Gregory >u<

T’en cas toi! - Why you! Honestly this is one I'm probably going to change to a much less enigmatic "I oughta pass you a slap"

Defan - Sainted or passed away. Hence why Monty always uses it as Defan Bonnie.

make her the misere - Another one where I figured that the subject looked close enough to English (misery) that it could be understood as 'making trouble for her' or 'making her miserable'.

Bonne-Bon - Okay I'm actually really proud of this one? Cos it's a double layered pun.

So 'bonne' is 'good', and in this context it's being used as 'bonne-homme', which literally translates to 'good man', but refers to like, an action figure rather than a living person.

Bonne is pronounced like 'bon', so when spoken the nickname sounds like 'Bon-Bon'-- but it also relates back to how they're animatronics, not human people.

I'll probably update this in the future as Monty appears in more chapters.