#holy shit that was long
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coldranger · 1 year ago
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I've been thinking about this, while many of the trial two songs reflect the choices we made; the innocent vs guilty verdict and the reasoning for that verdict (be it Es or the "voices"). Haruka's song doesn't really do that. Most of these songs are trying to flip our current expectation of the characters while directly acknowledging us, the audience, see Mu inno -> guilty or Fuuta guilty -> inno There are exceptions like Yuno and Shidou who have back to back innos, they still reference our choice in their songs. Not to mention Milgram's wide definition of murder regarding these situations but I digress. While yes, you can see everyone's opinion of Haruka leaning towards being guilty of his crime. Given what we have been presented that is a fair assessment. However, I often questioned myself that if Haruka had been voted guilty in trial one would this song put Haruka in a sympathetic light? I found my answer to be yes, All-Knowing And All-Agony makes me feel bad for Haruka. It feels oddly flexible, change up some lyrics and visuals and they could crank up that sympathetic factor to do something like I Love You did for Mahiru. In this hypothetical could it have turned Haruka's guilty verdict to a inno one? I don't know. I'm just saying how odd it could work either way.
But it doesn't have anything to say about WHY we chose Haruka to be innocent or any sort of thanks to "us/Es" for making the choice. There is no audience imput, while you could argue it was too early in Milgram's life as a project, Weakness and Umbilical were only released roughly a month apart. I can't find when their voting ended but if there's enough speculation for Yuno to have something surely there were reasonings for Haruka's innocence.
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There is this line, but it could be read as: "I can't stop [killing small things] does that still make me a good person?" which would make it seem like Haruka is self reflecting Or "Hey, hey I can't stop. Am I still innocent to you?" In reference to "us/Es" I won't deny it could be a 4th wall break, I don't really see it as one since the other trials have been more overt with their message to the audience The voice drama itself also doesn't mention any reasons as to why we believed Haruka was innocent. He thanks Es for the innocent verdict but Es reminds him that there's still more to uncover, he may yet be guilty, instead of explaining their thought process or what they saw to Haruka. This edgier and rougher song could've been in response to Es basically mocking Haruka, he practically had a tantrum when Es told him he isn't out of the clear for his murder.
Tldr; All-Knowing And All-Agony sounds like a song that was prepared for either outcome of trial one. Noting how for someone who's innocent it sounds like someone who got a guilty verdict instead and a distinct lack of any explanation, from Es or the "voices," on why we voted him innocent.
In the end I just don't know how long ago All-knowing had been drafted up, so this is just speculation on my part.
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unyearn · 2 years ago
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9, 15, and 16 (the music ask thingy)
9:A song that makes you happy
DON'T STOP ME NOW BY QUEEN!!!!!!!
15:A song that is a cover by another artist
answered here <3
16:One of your favorite classical songs
(this is where i get really obnoxious and say it's piece not song) my favourite of all time is chopin's ballade no. 1!!!! i also really love the 2nd mvmts of sibelius, tchaikovsky and mendelssohn's violin concertos and the entirety of rachmaninoff's 2nd piano concerto and also sibelius 2nd symphony ❤️ currently listening to wieniawski's scherzo tarentalle so that gets a mention
music asks :]
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charliejaneanders · 1 year ago
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The United States has always been a terrible place to be sick and disabled. Ableism is baked into our myths of bootstrapping and self-reliance, in which health is virtue and illness is degeneracy. It is long past time for a bedrock shift, for all of us.
Long covid has derailed my life. Make no mistake: It could yours, too.
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egophiliac · 7 months ago
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we were fucking ROBBED
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nova-rpv · 3 months ago
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a redraw of the first drawing i posted here to celebrate the fact that ive been in tumblr for more than a whole year posting my shit and havent deleted my blog in panic yippee \:D/ (mushy rant in tags)
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hailsatanacab · 1 year ago
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Family Dinners - dpxdc
"Holy shit, you're Bruce Wayne!" Danny gaped, jabbing a finger at the man sitting at the head of the table.
The bustling dining room goes silent as everyone turns to look at him.
"Danny, who did you think was going to be here?" Tim asks, disbelief plain in his voice and Danny feels his face flush red.
"Sorry, I, uh, I guess I just never put it together. Tim Drake-Wayne. Wayne Manor. It, uh, makes sense now." He laughs sheepishly and scrubs at his neck before slumping back down into his chair.
"Well," Tim says with an indulgent sigh, "at least I know you're not just friends with me for my connections."
"Yeah, I'm really sorry, I just never thought about it, I guess."
Danny sinks lower as everyone around him laughs. Come to dinner, he said, the food is the best, he said, ignore the family, he said. Danny really wishes he'd listened to Tim and just ignored them—almost as much as he's regretting accepting the offer in the first place—but... he's having dinner with Batman.
Ancients, that's so weird!
The last time he saw Batman was in the future and, suffice it to say, it was not going well. There hadn't really been time for family dinners there.
Wait. Family dinners?
He peers around the table, openly gawking at everyone as it all clicks into place.
"Everything alright, Danny? Now realising who everyone else is?" Tim asks with a roll of his eyes.
"Uh... something like that..." Danny mumbles as everyone laughs again.
From further down the table, the smallest Wayne scoffs and clicks his tongue.
"I thought you said he was smart, Drake?"
"So, you all do it, too, then?" he asks, ignoring the jibe. Danny's only a little bit jealous as he thinks of how much easier they must have it, how much easier it'd be if his family had been on his side, too. "You all work together?"
"Nah," Dick says from across the table with a brilliant grin. "Tim's the only one that works with Bruce, we all have different jobs. I'm a police officer in Bludhaven."
"Disgusting." Danny blurts out without thinking—because seriously, what kind of self-respecting vigilante would also be a police officer?—before clapping a hand over his mouth. "Sorry."
The whole table laughs again, the loudest being the blonde girl a few spaces down from Dick. Look, Danny wasn't really paying attention to names when they were all paraded in front of him. Dick only gets remembered because his name is a joke.
Come on, Danny, recover!
"That's, uh, not what I meant, though."
"Oh?" Dick asks, cocking his head slightly to the side. Is it Danny's imagination or does his smile tense slightly?
"Yeah, I mean like, you know, in costume. It must make it so much easier to have everyone together like this."
"Costume? What do you mean?"
Yeah, Danny's not imagining it, everyone tenses up at that. It's really only now that he's realising that this probably isn't how he should bring up that he knows about their... night time activities. In fact, he probably shouldn't be bringing it up at all.
"Uuhhh..." Danny looks wildly around the table as he continues making his stupid noise. Think, think, think! There must be a way out of this!
"Danny?" Tim asks, looking concerned.
"Oh, Ancients, this isn't how I wanted it to go at all," he mutters, slipping even further into his chair. He's almost on the floor now and he so, so wishes it could just swallow him up.
His real first meeting with Batman was meant to be cool! He had planned to be Phantom, maybe save them from a tight spot, prove his worth as a mysterious and powerful ally as thanks for the help Batman gave him in the future.
"Danny, what are you talking about?" Tim starts tugging on his sleeve in an attempt to pull him back up from his pit of despair.
Eventually, Danny relents and sits up straighter, hiding his face in his hands and whining all the while.
"I'm sorry, I just didn't expect him to be here and it threw me off so now I look stupid and it's so embarrassing!" he wails, flailing his arms wide. "Why wouldn't you warn me that Batman was your adopted dad, Tim? Couldn't you have let me know?"
"I'm sorry, what? Danny are you alright? There's no way Bruce can be Batman, look at him!"
"Yeah," the blonde girl laughs from the bottom of the table, "look at him! That's a wet noodle of a man! Batman can actually do things, B is incapable of pretty much everything."
"Thank you, Stephanie," Bruce sighs, massaging his forehead.
It's... Those are the first words Danny's heard Batman say since everything went down and it's enough to knock him out of his embarrassment.
It's really good to hear his voice again. Especially now, when it's strong and healthy and full of personality—even if that personality is little more than a tired father right now—far better than how it had been, at the end.
Danny sits up, back straight, and grins. He's got this. He remembers it perfectly. Some people count sheep to fall asleep, Danny repeats his mantra to be certain that he'll never forget it.
"Gamma alpha upsilon tau iota mu epsilon, 42, 63, 28, 1 colon 65 dash 9."
Once again, the whole table falls into silence.
"Holy shit..." breathes the other D name (Duke? Danny's pretty sure he's Signal) from opposite Stephanie. "Isn't that...?"
"The time travelling code." The littlest Wayne says stiffly. "We have met in the future?"
"That's not just the time travelling code, Dami." Dick says, looking between Danny and Bruce. "That's the family time travelling code."
Danny's grin freezes in place.
"I'm sorry, what?"
"1 colon 65 dash 9." Dick explains, still flicking between him and Bruce. "It means you've been adopted into the family and we should all treat you as such, no questions asked."
"Tell you what, I'm about to ask a question." Danny says, dumbstruck. "You just told me it was a code to identify time travellers, not anything about being adopted! What the hell, B?"
Bruce looks about as shellshocked as Danny feels.
"We must have been close," he says finally, after opening and closing his mouth like a fish out of water a few times.
"No! Not that close!" Danny reels back, taking a deep breath ready to refute it all, but... "Well, I mean, you found me when I first got stuck, and you helped me get better despite being... And then we fought together against the, uh, bad guy, before he, um, he... before you couldn't."
An uncomfortable beat passes while they all pick up on what Danny tried so hard not to say.
"So, you're not from the future, then, you travelled there and came back?" Tim asks, breaking the tension and leaning forward with a glint in his eye.
"Yeah, it was a whole end of the world thing, but don't worry about it," Danny says with a hand wave, "It's all kosher now, won't ever happen."
"What did happen?"
"Seriously, don't worry about it, we cool."
"How long in the future was it?"
"About ten years? You were pretty spry for an old man, B," Danny laughs, wishing they'd get off the topic of what happened and get back to the adoption bit.
Everyone shares degrees of a cautious smile as they relax out of the shock, and Dick—whose grin is the biggest—says, "No wonder you got the family code, you're already riffing on him like one of us. How long were you there for?"
"A week, before I managed to get back to my present and stop him then."
"A week? Jeez, B, that has to set some kind of record, seriously."
"Oh!" Danny says, sitting bolt upright and blinking in surprise before pointing at Dick and bouncing in his seat. "You're Nightwing!"
"What?"
"That's exactly what Nightwing said when Batman told me the code! Makes so much more sense now."
Dick laughs and claps his hands, delighted.
"You were not formally adopted?" The grumpy small one—Dami?—asks, his face pinched.
"I didn't even know I was informally adopted."
"And your parents? Are they alive or dead?"
"Damian, stop—"
"They were dead in the future, but they're alive now." Danny says, looking down. He fiddles with the tablecloth, twisting the fabric around his fingers as he fights down the pang of sadness that he always feels when he thinks of them now. He forces a bright smile on his face and hopes it doesn’t look too strained. "I just, uh, can't talk to them much, anymore."
"Damian," Dick warns, "1 colon 65 dash 9. Treat them as family, no questions asked."
"This is Damian treating him as family, the little turd has no manners." Tim scoffs, rolling his eyes, but he gently bumps shoulders with Danny to knock him out of his funk. Danny can't help but send him a watery smile.
"I have the most exemplary manners, Drake, unlike some people." Damian spits, crossing his arms with a pout. "I was merely ascertaining his status to see how he could possibly fit into the family."
"I know this is all a bit sudden, Danny," Bruce smiles, ignoring Damian and reaching out to lay a warm hand on his arm, "for all of us. But if I felt strongly enough to give you that code after spending a week with you in the future, then you are more than welcome in this family, if you so choose it. I think I can speak for all of us when I say we'd like to get to know you a bit more."
"I know a threat when I hear it, Bruce." Danny snorts. "But, yeah, I get it. I'm sorry this is all so weird, it really wasn't how I wanted to find you again, but... I'm glad I did."
"So are we, Danny." Dick says, with a warm smile. "And formally or not, 1 colon 65 dash 9 means you're family. Welcome to the fun house! No take backs or refunds, sorry. You're stuck with us."
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paimt · 3 months ago
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its just supervised phone calls like
in the wise words of stan himself: give me money
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pick-a-lane · 8 months ago
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your just scratching the surface buddy 😭 Shirke is suuuch a good song and so many of Hozier’s songs are SoapGhost coded!! Here’s some Hozier reccs that I think personally are amazing songs in general but also VERY Soapghost:
- Icarrion . HOLY SHIT. This is so Ghost singing about soap (although I dont think he would ever sing). Some lyrics below:
“And though I burn, how could I fall?
When I am lifted by every word you say to me.
If anything could fall at all it’s the world
that falls away from me”
“Leave it now, I am sky-bound
If you need to, darling, lean your weight to me
We'll float away, but if we fall I only pray, don't fall away from me”
EXCUSE ME?!!!?!?! THATS SO- HHJJSJGHSG. THATS NOT EVEN THE BEST LINE TOO (I dont wanna spoil it lol go listen!!) I like to imagine an animatic to this one. Ghost finds soap, realizes he is the pillar to lean on that he’s always needed, and they help each other fly while supporting each other through their messy lives.
Sunlight - Generally an amazing song that’s just KJJSIKSK. Giving sun and moon vibes SO HARD
“I had been lost to you, sunlight
And flew like a moth to you, sunlight, oh, sunlight”
tbh its a bit repetitive but its soo nice. also giving worshipping your lover vibes?? like I love you like the sun and your love feels kinda holy?? idk lol
Like Real People Do - PLEEEASSE If you go listen to any song on this list please listen to this one. its so amazing. Its like ‘Oh, holy shit. were both so messed up, but we should just be normal together anyways’ very fictional character ship vibes if that makes sense???? heres some lyrics:
“Why were you digging?
What did you bury
Before those hands pulled me
From the earth?”
“So I will not ask you
Why you were creeping
In some sad way I already know
I will not ask you where you came from
I will not ask you and neither would you”
I imagine a seen where they’ve both stayed up wayy too late. they find eachother awake, sleep deprived, and unable to get sleep because of nightmares/other difficulties. and they understand it. they get it, and they try their bests to lean on eachother without an explanation needed. They have their tragic backstories, and are just trying to live with it now.
Work song - this is one of his most popular, and tbh fits so well with Soapghost and any ship. I dont wanna yap too much but go check it out!!
anyways sorry to bug you with this repost but im such a Hozier fan its an illness. anyone else who sees this I BEG you to go check out Hozier’s songs there’s honestly so many for any ships out there, not just Soapghost lol
I GONNA FUCKING THROW UP
Hozier you bastard
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THIS IS HOW YOU OPEN??!!!?!
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layviyu · 5 months ago
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OKAY SIR???? I SEE YOU'RE SERVING CUNT TODAY
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waltricia · 6 months ago
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3x03 — Forces of Nature
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geeky92 · 2 months ago
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Okay, this poll is barely a couple days old, but I’ve cobbled up a bit of my own Membrane Mom theory, which borrows bits and pieces from IZ AUs made by @sentientpaperbag, @murshmallauw, and others…and it goes something like this:
Professor Membrane’s late wife was an Irken invader named Fia, who came to Earth in 1983 (when the professor was 16) to learn about all of its’ science and intelligent life under the apprenticeship of Tallest Miyuki. At this point, Membrane was already going through a rebellious teen phase, where he wanted nothing to do with science because it would often get him bullied in high school (basically, Membrane Labs wasn’t a thing yet, and in my AU, the professor’s parents were just regular scientists who immigrated from Mexico, along with his eccentric paranormal-obsessed grandfather, Papa Julio). Then one night, when Fia arrived on Earth, she accidentally crash landed her ship into Membrane’s backyard, right as he was being forced to clean up chemical spills and other messes in his parents’ basement laboratory.
At first, Membrane is scared shitless upon seeing the irken, but as soon as she notices him wearing gloves and lab coat, she assumes that he’s a very knowledgeable scientist who could help her learn more about Earth’s intelligent life. Instead of denying this, Membrane decides to play along in hopes that she would soon leave his planet alone. However, as the two spend more time together, they both fall in love and get married a few years later. Eventually, the two thought about having children, but because Irken reproductive organs are so radically different from human reproductive organs, Membrane couldn’t get Fia pregnant. So, they turn to science and combine their DNA to make a human-irken hybrid clone baby (this was how Dib was born).
THEN, a couple years later, when Dib was 2 years old (and when Gaz had just been born- the same way Dib was), the couple were confronted by Irken soldiers, who came to take Fia back with them on the Massive for “failing her mission” and “betraying the Irken Empire”. So, Dib’s last memory of his mother was seeing her get taken away on this gigantic alien spaceship, prompting him to have reoccurring nightmares about it before Membrane convinces him that his mother never existed, and that the memories he had of her were “nothing more than hallucinogenic fever dreams”.
Basically, I like to think that Professor Membrane does believe in aliens, and knows who the Irkens are. He just pretends to not believe in aliens, because his children are half Irken and doesn’t want to lose them the way he lost Fia.
Membrane Mom fan theories
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vampireonthestairs · 27 days ago
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WAHHOOOOOO HI MALADICT HIIII!!!
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bullmotif · 3 months ago
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Revolutionary Girl Utena, episode 12
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putterphubase · 2 months ago
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You said I can ask you if there's anything I don't understand, right? Then please teach me. How to kiss.
THE TIME OF FEVER (2024).
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runningupthatvecna · 2 months ago
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get the peach(es)
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bestfriend!eddie munson x reader
it's the day after chrissy got vecna'd and you and the gang decide to check up on eddie at rick's. he's still in so much distress that you can't help but selflessly stay with your best friend (who you've been harboring a crush on for quite some time) and keep him company. 6k words, not proofread.
cw: the good old friends to lovers trope, eddie is an anxious bean who just needs to be held (by you, ideally), mutual (and not so secret at all) pining, i wrote this with fem!reader in mind (she/her pronouns) but can also be read as gn i guess, fluff, hurt/comfort (for eddie), pet names, mentions of chrissy's death, there shall be kisses and a lot of softness. nothing too explicit but minors are still advised to LEAVE
a/n: totally not self indulgent, that scene of him being so terrified in 4x02 ripped me to shreds so this is my fix-it attempt, trying to still my need to hold him and scratch his head. disclaimer: this piece of writing is based on the ending of that episode, meaning all credits for the setting go to the respective writers. sources to the header images here, here and here. lovely divider by saradika. ok thank you so much for reading byeeee love y'all <3
–––––
The overwhelming need to befriend the satanic metalhead found you at that party at the Wheeler house. You had almost said no to Nancy when she invited you, knowing damn well how the night would end. Steve passed out with a girl on his lap, Robin silently pining after Vickie from some corner of the room while clinging onto the red plastic cup in her hand, Jonathan getting higher than a kite with his old school mates, the younger kids asking you every five minutes if you could give them a ride since you usually were the one staying sober.
Additionally this time, there would be Eddie Munson. This familiar stranger Dustin, Mike and Lucas had met and somehow befriended over the last months, due to them joining his DnD club. "He might come off as a bit intimidating ... but I promise he's super chill and easy going!", Mike had tried to convince his sister, poking the tip of her shoulder repeatedly with a bunch of pleases during lunch break in the editing room of the school's newspaper. Until she rolled her eyes theatrically and agreed to let the ambiguous stranger, which the whole town collectively perceived as not really fitting in (and who you both certainly knew under the not so chill reputation he carried around), attend the celebratory events at Casa Wheeler. Occasion: Karen, Ted and their youngest leaving the house for more than one day, off on vacation.
You'd always kinda stayed out of his ways, used to observe his antics back at school with a silent laugh and this .. intrigue poking at your guts. To you he always stood out, and if anyone asked you'd be hesitant to admit it, but his willingness to go against the flow and not conform to the acceptable standards set by society was honestly impressive. And besides, surely this whole mysterious drug dealer rockstar image must just be a fassade and deep down he's just a dork, right?
His eyes follow you through the living room, an echo of your name crossing his mind repeatedly after having pulled Dustin into a corner for a brief interrogation. He finds it endearing how quickly and almost bashfully you look away every time your curious gaze meets his. As you redirect your focus to the conversation you're becoming engaged in, there's a soft smile creeping onto your lips. Little did he know it would soon start to haunt him in his dreams at night.
"Anything specific you're looking for?"
God, his voice. The close proximity invites your nose to inhale a mix of fresh cigarette smoke, bergamot and sandalwood, allowing you to sense what can only be him standing behind you as you skim through the cabinets of the Wheeler kitchen. You turn your head for your eyes to confirm your assumption and what they find is the deepest brown of round baby cow eyes they've ever met, up so much closer now. The paring of his gaze and plush smile somehow manages to dissolve every little prejudice you've been involuntarily harboring about him. Eddie Munson, the town's freak. Prime reason for the existence of the satanic panic. Drugs. And then you realise that you should probably do the polite thing and give him an answer. "Yeah uh, I was just trying to find the peach syrup", holding his gaze with a small lopsided smile, lost in its warmth which you wouldn't have dared to expect from it, before facing away from him again. He snorts a little, "peach syrup?", pauses to bring a thumb to his upper lip, lightly scratching the skin above as if to wipe something away, before he removes it again and the dimples appear around the corners of his mouth, "that is oddly specific." His response spreads a smile over your face, and the next thing he says widens it, "looks like you have taste though."
You move one step to the side, about to investigate the insides of the next cabinet, the kitchen itself almost empty of people with only three others chatting away in the corner across the island. He follows, undoubtedly trying to stay close, and the heat from the fire he just ignited somewhere inside of you rises to your cheeks. "Thanks, I really like peaches. Especially in my drinks. It adds a little ... kick to my sobriety", you explain, Eddie now quirks an amused eyebrow paired with a lopsided smile at you, and as you get to the last cabinet it dawns on you (and also Eddie) that this household severely lacks peach syrup. An atrocity. Thanks Ted.
After he helped you rummage through the entirety of the kitchen without success but under a lot of small talk, the metalhead vanishes from the function for an hour or so. At least that's what your brain concludes when your vision fails to spot him among the people who are in attendance. Maybe he's selling out of Nancy's bedroom. Maybe he's puking up his insides in the bathroom because he had too much of that weird beer he's been downing all night. Maybe he's banging some random girl in the bathroom upstairs. Or summoning a demon. Or both. At the same time. You once again try focusing your attention back to the conversation you are involved in. Munson already feels so dear to you that the lack of his presence is starting to form an ache in your heart. It's tugging on those strings with how much you already want him near you. Yeah. You're gonna be in trouble with this one.
And then he stumbles into the room from the direction of the front door, an event you're totally unable (and unwilling) to miss. He doesn't look like he just puked, nor sold a whole lot of the stash since you notice it still bulging out the left ass pocket of his black jeans. Instead, as he pushes past the small groups of people socialising – and towards you – while you notice a red net of round fruits dangling from his right hand, and you start to think that his disheveled hair and that rosy tint on his cheeks might actually not be from shagging either. He meets your gaze again as he approaches you with a grin and your heart dares to swell at his attentive gesture (you think you might as well pass away on the spot).
"Have some, peach."
It's not syrup, but you'll take them anyway. And with your next drink, you swallow down not only that peachy sweetness on your tongue, but also whatever this tingly feeling in your chest is.
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"Chchhrhch.."
Pause.
"Hey, uh– chrhchhr.."
Silence in your bedroom, the only thing illuminating the space is the moonlight softly falling through the window.
"Chrch– a-are you there?"
You stirr awake from dozing off in your bed, trying to piece together the information your senses are giving you.
Eyes gone dry, you have to blink a few times. Figure out which year it is and so on.
Confusion lies between the static crackle for a moment. That nap after your shift at the diner was necessary. God, you need to fucking quit.
"No I'm sure she'll pick right up, just– hey pleeease b-be awake, goddamn it!–"
Is it already past midnight?
You don't know and you can't tell, the clock on your nightstand still broken. What you do know though is that the familiar voice belongs to your friend Dustin and it's desperately trying to get ahold of you.
They must have found him.
"Dustin? I copy, where are you? What's going on?", you finally grab the device from the nightstand, fully awake and aware of your surroundings now.
You need to know. If he's okay.
There's that all too familiar instant tingle in your chest again, an ache that made itself familiar to you for the first time when he was introduced to you at the one and only Wheeler party several months ago. The dungeon master of Hawkins High's Hellfire club, the lead guitarist of Corroded Coffin and a super chill and easy going guy, to put it in Mike Wheeler's words.
What you didn't expect back then was your heart starting to develop that feeling, that tingle you'd always get to feel when you were in his presence, or like now, when his name is threatening to spill from your friend's lips on the other side of the connection at any moment.
"Aha! See? I told you she'd respond in no time."
You can practically feel Dustin's shit eating grin through the frequency, basking in being correct over Steve Harrington once again. It never gets old between these two.
"Oh my god", Steve's muffled voice is what you can make out vaguely from the off, he's probably palming his face.
"Dustin!", your voice disappears into the device, and your impatience grows with every passing second, hoping he gets the hint.
There's the sound of a door falling shut, leaves rustling under shoes, he must be outside now.
"Alright, okay yeah, so we found him at Rick's and he's really upset and he's been asking for you. I know it's late but can you meet us out here? And maybe, uh, stay with him?"
It's not even worth questioning. You're already wearing shoes. Your biggest hoodie in tow, you stumble into your kitchen with the intention to raid your own snack drawer. Pulling out Eddie's favourite, which you of course had stocked up on ever since hanging out with him at your place had become more of a weekly routine for the both of you.
Ten minutes, you told him. You'd be there in ten.
The drive feels like forever. The longest ten minutes of your life, you think.
You know the route like the back of your hand, having driven along the gravelly road leading from the last intersection before Hawkins' border to the outer world, to the serene woods surrounding Lover's Lake countless times. Eddie would take you here ever so often, for picnics, an occasional smoke after picking up a new delivery from Rick's, cloud or star gazing, listening to Metallica and Tears for Fears on Wayne's old walkman.
The gravel crunches underneath your white reeboks as they land on the ground. You close the door to your car as quietly as possible after you've taken out the bag and your hoodie.
Dustin and Steve are stood outside the boathouse, waving like madmen in the darkness once you come into their periphery.
The younger boy hugs you tightly.
"So glad you could make it", he gets out, the relief palpable through his voice as well as the grip he holds you in for a brief moment.
You look at them both after Steve presses you against him cordially, and breathe out through your nose, making your nostrils flare.
Dustin cracks open the case to you as he starts to ramble about the state in which they found your best friend, "well first he attacked Steve with a broken bottle, we had to put in great effort to convince him that we'd be on his side, and we came to the conclusion that he was in the wrong place at the wrong time, basically."
What you want right now goes without saying. Everyone here knows how close you and Eddie are. As friends, of course. No one would think anything different.
Without wasting another second, the boys lead you inside where Max and Robin are knelt on the wooden floor. Heads turning towards the entrance of the room where you're now standing.
The sight of what's offered to your eyes, sitting opposite of them, breaks your heart.
You can see that he's slightly shivering, eyes glassy in the dim lit room. A small smile tugs at the corner of his lips though once his brain grasps your presence, and he can't help anymore but let the water fall once his eyes lock with yours.
The pain that is swimming in those two deep warm brown oceans hits you like a dagger to the chest. Over the months of being friends with him you'd seen him various different states, none of them comparable to this.
"Peach", his shaky voice announces your arrival and the sound of your nickname spilling from his lips cracks through your bones. The bag that's slung around your shoulder drops onto the wood with a dull thud.
Wobbly legs carry him towards you with a gentle shove past Robin and Max. You're once again reminded of your best friend's sheer physical strength as he wraps his arms around you, instantly burying his face into the crook of your neck.
One arm of your own sneaks around his torso, pressing him against you as tightly as your own strength allows you, while your other hand comes up to bury itself underneath the mane and to end up scratching soothingly over the scalp above the nape of his neck.
Eddie lets out a muffled sob, sniffling into the collar of the sweatshirt you threw on in a haste. He doesn't really want anyone to see him like this, certainly not Steve Harrington, so he clutches onto you so tightly that he thinks you might just feel his heavy heart beating anxiously against your chest.
And you do. How could you not with the amount of world he means to you? Like an automatism your other hand rubs slow circles over his back. Comforting him in the best way you could. Not a conscious decision you make.
"Okay so, m'not meaning to ruin the party, in fact I'd love to stay for another round of doom talk, but I really should get home soon, guys", Robin scratches the back of her head after she gets up from her huddled position next to the wooden crate Eddie had been sitting on. Max joins in and agrees, mumbling something about having to move her mom from being passed out on the couch again into her bed.
"Yeah me too, actually. My dad's gonna be fucking pissed. We'll see you tomorrow, yeah?", Steve's voice echoes through the room and you can tell he's already shoved Dustin back outside, itching to drive the kid home.
As Eddie processes having to stay in hiding, added the possibility of everyone leaving without him, his grip on you tightens even more.
"It's okay, Eds", you speak softly, head slightly tilted so your cheek rests on the dark frizzy mop you could call his hair. The skin on his neck and scalp so warm underneath your fingertips as you keep scratching it, emphasizing your presence, "I'll stay."
A soft muffled whimper is what you get as a response, and the way he lets you see him in this state melts your insides to a puddle.
You just need him to be okay.
They wave their goodbyes behind your back, accompanied by mumbles of "see you in the morning", and you can't even bring yourself to turn your head around, fully focused on making the young man in your arms less terrified of the world. A world he was sure was now going to come for him with all its force – in deep conviction of him being responsible for Chrissy's misfortunate end.
The door falls shut and Eddie muffles a quiet thank you into the fabric of your sweatshirt. The skin on your neck is damp with his tears, wet eyelashes tickling every time he blinks.
"It's okay, Eds", you softly keep repeating your words to him while continuously rubbing over the denim of his signature Dio vest in a slow motion, when he feels the urgency to claim the truth into the collar of your sweater about what has happened, "I– I didn't do it, I swear."
As if you would need any convincing.
"Oh no of course you didn't, I know that", you're looking for a way to ease the distress this entire situation is causing him, his quivering voice adding to your desire to soothe him to inner peace, "can I make a suggestion?"
Eddie nods with another sniffle against your collarbone, the round wet tip of his nose brushing against the column of your throat lightly. To his ears, your voice sounds like silk right about now.
"How about we head over to the main house and get ourselves a little more comfortable? Since we're gonna be here for a little longer? My god you probably haven't slept or eaten at all, have you?"
You can feel him nod his head again with a hum this time, and you start to think that the tears might not just be pouring because he just witnessed someone suffer a gruesome death right in front of him, but also due to physical exhaustion.
It makes your heart ache even more, that tingle still present, even more so now. It hurts to see your best friend hurt.
He just needs to be okay. And in that heart of yours there's that little spark of hope that leads you to believe you could be the one helping him with that.
You'd really want that. Be all his to find comfort in, to hold close, to kiss stupid
Stop.
A sigh escapes your lungs at the thought. That tingle, that longing, it's selfish. It familiarly pools in your belly and slowly drips downwards. You push your brain aside. This is about soothing your best friend now.
"C'mon then", you utter softly, encouraging him with your hand to lift his head from where it leans against your shoulder.
For your heart it's almost too much to look at, the hurt still swimming in the glassy big brown irises, his waterline red and puffy. The soft smile returning to his lips causes the wet apples of his cheeks to push up slightly, reflecting the dim light coming from the one torch Robin left you, placed on one of the crates.
He really hadn't been able to close an eye for a single second since he he'd gotten up for school the day prior.
You smile back at him almost bashfully as you slowly create space between your bodies.
Eddie is grateful that it's you who grabs his ringed hand next.
He squeezes yours, hoping to get the message of this meaning something to him across.
And he closely trails behind you as you lead the way.
The house feels empty, like no one's really been here in months. You'd never been inside. The few times you'd accompanied Eddie grabbing stash you'd stayed in his van, waiting. But as far as you now can make out in the darkness, there's a couch with knitted blankets, a little TV with a whole stack of VHS almost rising as high as the screen itself, spilled and spluttered empty cans and papers and wrappings littered all around. Maybe this is why he never let you come inside with him. Keeping you out of this definitely not sterile mess. Along with keeping you out of the business.
In the middle of the living room, you let go of his hand and shuffle one step away from him. He's inside now. Safe. Job done. Doesn't need physical contact. You shouldn't, he's your friend. You feel like something between you would break if you'd go there.
Eddie thinks otherwise, regarding close proximity at least. He promptly follows you into what you believe to be the kitchen where you hope you might find a tea bag or two. He comes up behind you and encases you in his arms as you rummage through the cabinets (feels familiar, hm?), not at all ready to say goodbye to the warmth of your body pressed against his own just yet.
You giggle at the silliness of him putting weight on you just to make it harder for you to reach into the cabinets. It's endearing. And very Eddie.
Twenty minutes later and there's two mugs – cleaned to your best ability – with steaming hot liquid on the sixties wooden coffee table. Next to them a plate filled with the almost equally hot insides of a ravioli in tomato sauce can. Thank Rick for a still functioning microwave.
You drape the knitted blankets over both you and Eddie as you settle into the cushions. The only light existent coming from two lit candles on said coffee table. It wouldn't be too wise setting up the torch you think.
The side of Eddie's face glows in the orange yellow, his wide brown bambi eyes dried after the first grand storm, and there's this tug on the corner of his pink plush lips again. He exchanged his leather jacket for the freshly washed hoodie for comfort and a small part of you hopes he doesn't spill his dinner onto any of it.
You lean back into the backrest of the worn out couch and watch as he eats, a domestic thing you've done a thousand times already, yet you still find comfort in knowing that he's nourishing himself.
Or well, in this case, inhaling the raviolis.
"Thank you Peach", he moves to put the empty plate back on the coffee table and it makes the spoon chink and glide along the edge, "I really needed this."
His voice is a little hoarse, probably from the emotions of the hours behind him. Maybe he has indeed calmed down a little. His hand moves down to your thigh, squeezing.
You give him the most empathetic smile you can bring yourself to display, painfully aware of the blaze that is transpiring through your leggings and seeping into your bones, "it's no big deal, really. I mean it is– uh, being there for you, is."
And he can't bring himself to look up at you. Instead, he stares at the empty plate on that coffee table in front of him.
"And to me as well. It really helps that you're here."
He doesn't bother moving the calloused warmth of his hand from the soft warmth of your thigh. It lights your entire nervous system on fire. In a good way.
And that's when you begin to wonder if everything that has just happened and is still happening right now changes anything.
"I'm so glad it does", is all you're able to get out.
Eddie decides that it's time to lean into your side and wrap his arms around your torso once again, drop his head back to its favourite place with a soft content little hum.
He just needs physical comfort. Of course. Just that. Nothing more, nothing else.
The words are redundant but your mouth articulates them anyway, "try to get some sleep, yeah?"
His back already lifts and falls evenly. You place your hand on the back of his head that rests in the crook of your neck again, scratching through the curls lightly, searching to help him shut off even deeper.
–––––
The candles have gone out by the time your eyelids slowly open. It takes you a moment to recall the location you fell asleep in, and you hope that the nightly darkness the whole room is now filled with hasn't invited any stranger to take advantage of your unconsciousness.
There's a warm hand holding your face, the pad of a thumb tracing over the apple of your cheek softly. It makes its way from the bridge of your nose to the outer corner of your eye, and back. And forth. And back. And forth.
You must have moved to lie down on your back in your sleep, with Eddie's weight still on your body, legs entangled. It's not the first time you've slept like this, there had been movie nights that had ended similarly.
His hand caressing your cheek though, yeah that is new. There's something unspoken in the air this time around. Your stomach is doing flip flops when you realise that he is propped up on his elbow, just .. looking at you. With eyes that don't require light to hint at whatever it is he is trying to say, or maybe not trying at all.
"Eds, what are you doing?", you ask almost in a whisper followed by a lopsided smile, expecting an unserious answer, because he always tends to make a joke whenever he tries to avoid conversing about emotions regarding his heart.
His thumb stops its acrobatics on your cheek, comes to a halt.
"I'm–", he takes a deep breath before he continues, "I'm just so grateful it's you that's here right now."
Your hand comes up to cup his. Brush over his rough knuckles with a thumb of your own. Enjoying the warmth that is seeping from his palm into your skin.
"Yeah, I figured you were gonna be a little opposed to spending the night with Harrington", you laugh, an attempt to turn your nerves into humour.
Eddie snorts a little, "yeah right, it's almost like you know me", he grins and pushes himself even closer to your face than he already is. It doesn't necessarily help in extinguishing the fire that's consuming you whole at this point.
"It's almost like we're best friends and I know what you think of him because every time Dustin or literally anyone else mentions his name around you, you're not necessarily secretive about it."
"Hey, my own worldview is not my fault, it's just– ... he just kinda seems like a douche of the highest order."
"He's quite alright, Eds. Try giving him a chance, I think he'd look great as Coffin's tambourinist."
He snorts again and you feel his breath on the column of your neck next when he dips his head down, nose pressing against the soft skin, his small giggle being swallowed by the collar of your sweatshirt.
Your favourite sound. Ever. Followed by the relieved moan Eddie lets out at the way your other hand is softly rubbing over his shoulder blade. The vibration against your neck makes you twitch as much as being pinned into the couch cushions by his body allows you.
It's soothing as much for you as it is for him.
When he lifts his head, the soft gaze he eyes you with is enough to let the goosebumps erupt. Even in the darkness of the room you can still make out those round buttons that could melt the entire north pole.
"Thank you, Peach, really. I'd be goin' mental right now and probably tryin' to counter that by smoking an equally mental amount of the stash I've been hiding here."
Your heart aches.
"I'm just glad I can be that kind of comfort to you, Eds. You don't have to go through whatever the fuck this is alone."
"I know I'm never gonna be alone as long as you are there."
You almost cry yourself now, his words making your hand travel from his own to his cheek, almost passing out from the way his eyes bore into your own once again.
Eddie isn't sure what it is that is making him feel lightheaded right now. The whole rollercoaster of events of the past hours. Or your words of affirmation. Or mayhaps it is your cute soft hand with that little ring on your thumb which is gently swiping over his damp skin.
That cute soft hand he'd been imagining countless times at night, silently yearning for your eyes to look at him differently, to finally see him in a different light the next time you'd hang out.
Probably a combination of just everything.
You reciprocate his soft half-lidded gaze, hand moving from his cheek to tuck some of his hair behind his left ear, revealing that delicate silver hoop earring you'd gifted to him for his birthday, after having talked your ear off about getting his ear pierced for literal months.
He'd insisted you join him for the appointment, "another metal moment for the books", as Eddie had called it, the need to have his hand held during the stab comically urgent in the way his voice sounded when he called you that day. And in the pace in which he picked you up.
"I'm here no matter what", you respond to his sentiment, that hand that brushed his hair away resting on the side of his neck while leaning the weight of your head into his palm that is still attached to your cheek.
Eddie's confidence reaches a new all time high with the admission of your unconditional support being stirred into the cocktail of hormones and emotions that's been circulating in his bloodstream for a generous amount of time now.
Because then he goes on by saying impossible things.
Impossible things with a slightly less platonic undertone.
"You're so fucking sweet, has anyone ever told you?"
You smile as you shake your head, heat rising to your cheeks once again and you're sure he won't be able to see just how flustered he's getting you (joke's on you he does).
You're also sure he's out of his mind for saying that. Now.
"A shame, honestly. You should scold your best friend for not telling you sooner. Tell him what a fucking idiot he is."
Eddie earns another giggle from you. Music to his ears. Better than Metallica. Okay maybe not but .. pretty fucking close.
"I'll let him know next time I see him", you say with a grin, playing along with pleasure, and you ask yourself why it is only now that you realise just how fucking close his face is to yours.
There is a moment of silence in which Eddie hesitates articulating whatever is seemingly bugging his mind.
"Do you, uh, still like him?"
If you lifted your head just a little your noses would be touching. A silly and utmost redundant question, and yet, Eddie dreads your answer. If the circumstances were different, less dystopian and tragic, you'd seriously wonder what would spark the doubt in your friendship in him, but considering that everyone else would be going to pour their judgement over him, you understand.
Every word exchanged between the two of you at this hour is soaked in mutual infatuation, something the idiots in both of you are slowly starting to fathom as well.
"Of course I do, he's everything to me."
As you say it, you can't help the grin which reappears reliably each time you finish verbalizing your thoughts. It's contagious, you notice.
"And do you think – just hypothetically of course", it's only then he breaks eye contact to clear his throat, "of course", you interrupt him still smiling and cocking an eyebrow at him, "d'ya think it would be okay for this best friend to, uh, maybe...", Eddie pauses, internally watching the ship containing his confidence set sail slowly and ultimately letting the irrational thoughts win for tonight, "would you let him..."
Eddie generally wasn't someone who lacked confidence. It showed in the way he boisterously wandered the halls of Hawkins High, the way his demeanor never changed, his mask never faltered no matter who was around. Except for you. You who he had always granted a look underneath the impulsive, extroverted surface.
"Eds", you try everything in your power to stay calm even though everything inside of you is screaming right now and you're certain you can feel your pulse in your earlobes.
"Would it be just insane of that best friend to kiss you right now?"
You want to squeal and kick your feet, pull him into your face, pinch your own forearm, pass away, leave the house and never return, and stay right where you are forever, buried underneath your favourite metalhead, the parts where your bodies are touching practically on fire, cosy and content.
Instead, the most fond smile spreads over your lips as you try to contain your internal overwhelm.
It's still dark, the only light source being the full moon outside. Eddie's so hopeful of your reciprocation and even more terrified of ruining his entire life at the same time, those deep doe eyes at this point pretty much resemble the shape of the space rock orbiting earth. Rejection from you, his pretty Peach and the Bonnie to his Clyde, would be unbearable.
"I think so," you almost whisper, the hand that's been rubbing over Eddie's back coming up to lightly trace one of his eyebrows with your index finger because you just can't seem to not touch him in some way, "but you should know that I love his insanity."
Your small giggle is being silenced by a soft and cautious kiss from Eddie Munson. Like he doesn't want to break you. Or he's afraid you'll snap out of a haze, slap him and leave if he starts kissing you like he really wants to.
And then it's you who goes for it, you feel at home, right where you belong, you don't think you've ever felt this good. The hand on his jaw tugs him closer softly, pressing your lips to his with a bit more urgency.
It gives him all the confirmation he could possibly need.
That tingle, it grows and fills up your chest and shoots through your entire being, goosebumps and all. Eddie moans and breathes against your lips, tongue dancing over the thin skin, asking for permission.
His ringed hand digs deeper and slowly moves to the nape of your neck, intending to hold you in place, afraid you could slip away from him if he didn't. This blossoming thing between you could slip away from him. If he didn't.
It's so soft, the way his lips touch yours, and before you know it they move to your cheek, to your jaw, down your neck before Eddie comes up again, smiling from ear to ear, to gently bump his nose against the tip of yours and his lips return home with a soft and deep hum escaping from his lungs into your mouth.
Relief floods his veins along with whatever it is you're doing to him. The ability to shut out the insanity of the past hours is what he so desperately wants to cling to for as long as you allow him, even if the dawn will remind him of the horrid reality he's involuntarily become subject to live through now.
"You're making things so much better, Peach, you're so sweet, so fucking cute, so fucking good for me, do you even know for how long I've been dreaming of this?"
Eddie greedily pulls your face into his again, not even giving you a chance to reply and not nearly getting enough of your affection it seems with how fervently his tongue searches for yours.
A gentle collision of skin.
The soft whimpers you let out only spur him on. You not backing away from him, staying with him, letting him be this close to you?
You, the only constant source of consolation Eddie's ever really had.
Life changing.
Soft touches follow soft touches, your thumb traces his jaw repeatedly.
"You don't–", kiss, "for how long–", kiss, "I've been dreaming–", kiss, "of you as well", you breathe against him and Eddie thinks he might be about to resort to sniffling into your collar again with the amount of relief he is experiencing.
You'd let him.
"Yeah?", he presses his nose into your cheek with his eyes closed, smiling from ear to ear, relaxing his entire body into yours as you let him slide inbetween your legs.
"Yeah, you know how much of a sucker I am for peaches", you grin, another peck to his cheek, his jaw, his neck, your hips slowly finding a rhythm against his own.
Eddie groans at your allusion with a wide grin on his face (and the feeling of your warmth against his dick), before pressing his lips against yours again lovingly, "me too baby, me too."
–––
taglist (thought you might be interested): @josephfakingquinn, @ghost-proofbaby, @analogkraken, @wroteclassicaly, @songforeddiemunson, @joejoequinnquinn, @somnambulic-thing, @trashmouth-richie, @eddddiemunson, @ceriseheaven, @userchai
comments, reblogs and other forms of affection towards the author are greatly appreciated thank youuuuu <3
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lucasdoesnotcare · 2 years ago
Text
I can't explain it, I look at Rvbivs and the first thought that comes to mind is "Yeah he's trans" I can't explain it. So, instead of an explanation, ✨ FTM headcannons✨
1. He has pictures of himself as a child and is somewhat un bothered, but whenever someone else sees them his first thought is to reply like a cousin or a friend
2. He refuses to tell anyone he's trans, like Refuses. He's taking that shit to his grave.
3. Whenever some does find out he's trans he just passes out, he's scared of disappointing his friends or anyone he cares about really
4. On another note, he has no idea how most of his friends know he's trans, he thought it was obvious
5. Can't do makeup for the life of him, except highlighter (he used to do it to make his face more masc looking)
6. He has a transdar instead of a gaydar. He can't explain it, he can 100% tell when someone identifies under the trans umbrella and has never been wrong
7. He gets angry whenever someone tell him he looks/acts like a girl (unless hes aware of it) and people just think he has fragile masculinity
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