#holy shit it got dark

[zelsisi]

Y’all. I’m coming off of such a heavy dnd session. It literally made me start crying. And when I say the character’s head space is fucked up I fucking mean it

So Thyn. My Tiefling Swords Bard. Is back in an area controlled by his home. He didn’t think that his friends would betray him or that his former lover would start to go insane. But it did happen and it landed them in jail. One party member is pissed off at him and just fucking left the group (mainly cause of the player needing to drop which I can understand). He stopped talking for like the first part of session only really talking once they were like half way through.

Then they’re on this mission and he runs into his former lover again who did the whole Star Wars 7 “TRAITOR” line. He stayed behind with his boyfriend to keep them off of the rest of the group. His boyfriend takes care of occupying three others while Thyn fights his ex lover. Who happens to be the only childhood friend he saw as family to survive the military dictatorship up till this point. I made a FF14 reference of Thyn being like “A rematch eh? How’s the phrasing go again? The Victor shall write the tale and the vanquished become its villain.”

So they fight and Thyn makes the comment of “Are you proud of yourself Maleris?” Maleris asks if Thyn is proud of himself (which he’s really not) and says he’s not letting me run away again. Thyn remarks back of “Running away is no fun after all. But you might as well be proud of yourself cause I can sure as hell tell you no one else is” EMOTIONAL DAMAGE

And everyone in call was like “Ouch”. But they continue fighting and then Thyn gets the upper hand, disarms Maleris and himself, and pins Maleris to the ground and speaks. “I’ve lived with blood on my hands. I’ve lived with the haunting memories of the fallen. I know you have too. I’m used to the anguish it causes me. The nightmares, the sleepless nights.” His expression goes from dark to sad and regretful “I know this will add to it. I will not ask for your forgiveness because I damn well know I won’t get it. Hells! I wouldn’t forgive me and I won’t. Nor will I forgive you Maleris. But I chose this path and you chose yours.” He draws his sheathed dagger and Maleris weakly raises a hand saying something along the lines of “At least you’re stabbing me in the heart from the front” which causes Thyn to start crying “I regret that decision every day of my fucking life. I’m sorry. Even though I’m not going to get your forgiveness.” He raises the dagger up “Say hi to the others. If not that then I’ll see you in hell.” And he plunges the dagger down into Maleris’s heart and as the blood covers his hands and as Maleris fades he says “I didn’t recognize you when I came into harbor. As far as I know the person I cared for is gone.”

Thyn then stands, doesn’t wipe his hands of the blood, switches the dagger to his off hand and grabs his spear as he looks at the other three of his friends. Darkness in his eyes, face and body language as tears pour down his face. Two walk off the third says “We don’t recognize you either”. Thyn screws his eyes shut and more tears come as he bolts for the ship.

They’re on the ship and just as he’s about to go down below deck to disassociate in his room and consider his life choices Hawkins the BBEG comes up from below deck to be right in front of him.

And in his head Thyn thinks he’s a monster. And the fucked up thing is that he wishes he hadn’t faked his death cause then this wouldn’t have happened. And he did so to avoid actually dying cause of him being vocal about everything that the military dictatorship is doing and how it needs to change. So he basically wishes he was dead. But also doesn’t cause then he wouldn’t be here.

He wants to be free. Whether that’s through death or letting go is another matter all together

[aurosoulart]

alright. that's it. technology has gone too far

[unicornpopcorn14]

If Dazai weren't immune to Sigma's 'reading memories' ability, do you think he'd avoid touching him at all cost?

Do you think it'd be like a Vanitas-Noé situation where he'd threaten Sigma with murder if he ever were to touch him, accidentally or otherwise? Do you think Sigma would unconsciously touch him, trying to save them from the elevator or something, and thus see Dazai's memories against his will, which would have Dazai lose his shit and actually attempt to strangle him to death because his memories can never be brought to light and thus Sigma has to die after seeing them? Do you think-

[sea-jello]

hong kong miku,,,

[hikarisbeam]

[wikitpowers]

”memories” by conan gray. kit and ty. CHANGE MY MIND OH MY GOD

Please don't make it harder than it already is I'm trying to get over this

I wish that you would stay in my memories But you show up today, just to ruin things I wanna put you in the past 'cause I'm traumatized But you're not letting me do that

Now I can't say goodbye if you stay here the whole night You see, it's hard to find an end to something that you keep beginning Over and over again I promise that the ending always stays the same So there's no good reason in make believing that we could ever exist again

I can't be your friend, can't be your lover Can't be the reason we hold back each other from falling in love With somebody other than me

Since you came I guess I'll let you stay For as long as it takes

NO STOP BC I JUST LISTENED AND IT IS SO FUCKING GOOD AND INSANELY KITTY CODED NOOOOO WHY WOULD U DO THIS TO ME :'(

u already typed out the lyrics so i won't go into too much detail analysing but i just wanna say:

the start really made me think of kit and how hard it is for him to get over ty, how every time somebody mentions him, it gets harder and harder to stop thinking about him. and the part where conan sings about showing up and ruining things is CRAZY bc we know that will link so hard to the cirenworth reunion scene and ahhhhBsahjsz. plus when trauma was mentioned.... let's just say kitty!coded...

"now i can't say goodbye if you stay here the whole night" is making me think of ty sleeping outside kit's room in tda and him definitely doing it again in twp when he wants to protect kit :( and the lyrics "there's no good reason in make believing that we could ever exist again" are so freaking heartbreaking (💔) like just stop stop stop make it stop god. it heavily links to them both being convinced they will never work.

and then the bit about not being anything to each other anymore, how they're like strangers now *breaks down* and then to top it all off, conan had to nerve to sing about falling in love with other people, which ty for sure thought kit did when he heard about his relationship with hazel, when he saw the photo of them two together (bc i hc that he did). and then the song finishing with lyrics about letting each other stay, accepting that they're still in love with each other and the fact that they aren't gonna stop being in love. god my heart broke :(

[katyspersonal]

Abyss Watchers headcanons

> Them all having white hair and red eyes are the signs of a lot of exposure to the Abyss, like how Four Kings got white hair, people in contact with any darkness commonly show red eyes etc. + Artorias ended up with these features too, and black hair on his helmet was his own hair cut to decorate it, not unlike Ciaran's braid. This never caused the panic though, it is no more than like getting tan under too much sun exposure. The corruption carries different effects than just a bit of a recolor!

> Wolf blood gave them minor feral features, like fangs and tufts of grey fur in the spots where humans normally have the most hair. no tails though

> @val-of-the-north actually counted the corpses using colorful stones drops to not get lost! So, the amount of Abyss Watchers is only barely above 100! This is very little for a legion, but they were pretty strong at their prime so the number never shifted too far from this number

> The ~100 consisted of mostly the first of them and those who joined in early. They were mostly a pack of these people, very rarely losing members and very rarely gaining those who would grow into "true wolves". Even out of those who were accepted as Abyss Watchers rather than Farron Followers, most didn't fully assimilate. They remained visibly 'distinguished' ones, like Hawkwood who never grew to their common 10'00''+ height and so

> These rare new members were referred to as 'cubs'. The 'distinguished' people like Hawkwood were continued to be called so even after they fully trained, although it then had more affectionate connotation than referring to their lack of experience

> They offer people who have shown bravery and are deemed to have true warrior spirit within to come with them, however, it is quite hard to refuse them. It is very easy to get roped into madness by them by simply allowing them to surround the person and speak of the importance of combating the horrors, how Artorias tooooootally once succeeded etc. They do not even understand the nearly-hypnotic effect they possess, but it is explained by the gravity of the Abyss itself surrounding them due to their job. It horrifies, however humans naturally possess the darkness that finds kinship in it, the wish to fight it endlessly IS just one of the ways it entices and corrupts. Those who managed to avoid getting seduced recruited by them after confrontation do recall that something felt very wrong and otherwordly for a short time.

> 'Semi-hivemind' is the best way I can describe them tbh. There is usually a member who is unmistakeably singled out and seemingly 'leading the pack', and if this particular person was lost, the next strongest guy would get singled out instinctively.

> "True" Abyss Watchers hardly, if ever, need to verbally communicate with each other, instead understanding instinctively. When they do need to talk with anyone it is this 'pack leader' doing the talking, usually with some others accompanying him and performing actions if needed without any signals to do so. The 'leader', also, mostly speaks for them all as they share their thoughts and feelings ("Don't try to lie to us, we could always smell it in your blood", "We all remember your bravery", "We could almost feel you wagging your tail, if you had one" etc).

> And they can, in fact, sense more than average person due to the wolf blood! Blood pressure, heartrate, whether someone started sweating and so on. It is very useful when someone is trying to hide having gotten touched by the Abyss (reasonably so, because it is instant death). Or if someone pretends they totally didn't encourage less-infected people to evacuate the corrupted land before Abyss Watchers came to obliterate it.

> The best way to stay alive after being targeted for "mercy-killing" by them is to run into the Church of the Deep. Abyss Watchers are sceptical about 'purifying' ones with minor corruption, but they cannot cross into this territory without permission for several reasons. And so far those whom Deacons "treated" really seemed to be alright. Abyss Watchers didn't believe in efficiency of this method though and had a feeling that sacred body of water could not fit in everyone's even natural darkness, let alone Abyssal one. They absolutely loathe and pity the place though, but all they really could do was to wait to obliterate it when it'd inevitably drown in filth. (the big "told you so" day that never became their to claim lol)

> Anyone who feels attracted to them is under no pressure to kiss and cuddle all of them they're welcomed to try though if they dare lol . They share their feelings, so getting close even with one makes others happy by effect. Though if such things occur, usually it is the 'pack's leader' who claims this experience, let alone the fact he is the only one who will actually talk. But even then, at least several others will linger around

> If one of the "true" Abyss Watchers, the 'identical' ones, gets somehow separated from the rest for significant time, they might slowly reclaim sense of identity and even remember their name. Addiction to fighting the Abyss can't be helped though, so they will yearn to forget the brief moments of peace and rejoin the group

[itsqueenshroom]

how it started:

how it’s going:

[theramblingvoid]

There were a few ways I predicted a horticultural show could go wrong. Murderous plants, perhaps! Escaped mandrakes forming a choir! Fungal hivemind infection!

Rocks fall everyone dies, however, was NOT one of them -

[celemee]

When Tav/Durge kisses Halsin in front of Jaheira

[romanticize-until-you-drop]

2024-02-16

Libraries, skull bones, and onion cells. I’ve never loved and hated my life more.

[revasserium]

the unofficial ultimate bungo stray dogs reading list

this is mainly for myself bc i rly do want to read most if not all of these and i'm sure it's already been done by someone somewhere. but, i thought why not post it lmao; most if not all of these can be found on anna's archive, z-library, or project gutenberg! (also, consider buying from your local bookstore!) for those that are a bit harder to find, i've included links, though some are from j-stor and would require login to access.

detective agency:

osamu dazai:

no longer human (novel)

the setting sun (novel)

nakajima atsushi:

the moon over the mountain: stories (short story collection)

light, wind and dreams (short story)

fukuzawa yukichi:

an encouragement of learning (17 volume collections of writings)

all the countries of the world, for children written in verse (textbook)

yosano akiko:

kimi shinitamou koto nakare (poem)

midaregami (poetry collection)

edogawa ranpo:

the boy detectives club (book series)

japanese tales of mystery and imagination (short story collection)

the early cases of akechi kogoro (novel)

kunikida doppo:

river mist and other stories (short story collection)

izumi kyouka:

demon lake (play)

spirits of another sort: the plays of izumi kyoka (play collection)

tanizaki junichirou:

the makioka sisters (novel)

the red roof and other stories (short story collection)

miyazawa kenji:

ame ni mo makezu; be not defeated by the rain (poem)

night on the galactic railroad (novel)

strong in the rain (poetry collection)

port mafia:

mori ougai:

vita sexualis (novel)

the dancing girl (novel)

nakahara chuuya:

poems of nakahara chuya (poetry collection)

akutagawa ryuunosuke:

rashoumon (short story)

the spider's thread (short story)

rashoumon and other stories (short story collection)

ozaki kyouyou:

the gold demon (novel)

higuchi ichiyou:

in the shade of spring leaves (biography and short stories)

hirotsu ryuurou:

falling camellia (novel)

tachihara michizou:

in mourning for the summer (poem)

midwinter momento (poem)

from the country of eight islands: an anthology of japanese poetry (poetry collection)

kajii motojirou:

lemon (short story)

yumeno kyuusaku:

dogra magra (novel)

oda sakunosuke:

flawless/immaculate (short story)

sakaguchi ango:

darakuron (essay)

the guild:

f. scott fitzgerald:

the great gatsby (novel)

the beautiful and the damned (novel)

edgar allen poe:

the raven (poem)

the black cat (short story)

the murders in the rue morgue (short story)

herman melville:

moby dick (novel)

h.p. lovecraft:

the call of cthulhu (short story)

the shadow out of time (novella)

john steinbeck:

the grapes of wrath (novel)

of mice and men (novel)

lucy maud montgomery:

anne of green gables (novel)

the blue castle (novel)

chronicles of avonlea (short story collection)

louisa may alcott:

little women (novel)

the brownie and the princess (short story collection)

margaret mitchell:

gone with the wind (novel)

mark twain:

the adventures of tom sawyer (novel)

adventures of huckleberry finn (novel)

nathaniel hawthorn:

the scarlet letter (novel)

rats in the house of the dead:

fyodor dostoevsky:

crime and punishment (novel)

the brothers karamozov (novel)

notes from the underground (short story collection)

alexander pushkin:

eugene onegin (novel)

a feast in time of plague (play)

ivan goncharov:

the precipice (novel)

oguri mushitarou:

the perfect crime (novel)

decay of the angel:

fukuchi ouchi:

the mirror lion, a spring diversion (kabuki play)

bram stoker:

dracula (novel)

dracula's guest and other weird stories (short story collection)

nikolai gogol:

the overcoat (short story)

dead souls (novel)

hunting dogs: (i must caveat here that the hunting dogs are named after much more comparatively obscure jpn writers/playwrights so i was unable to find a lot of the specific pieces actually mentioned; but i still wanted to include them on the list because well -- it wouldn't be a bsd list without them)

okura teruko:

gasp of the soul (short story; i wasn't able to find an english translation)

devil woman (short story)

jouno saigiku:

priceless tears (kabuki play; no translation but at least we have a summary)

suehiro tetchou:

setchuubai/a political novel: plum blossoms in snow (novel)

division for unusual powers:

taneda santouka:

the santoka: versions by scott watson (poetry collection)

tsujimura mizuki:

lonely castle in the mirror (novel)

yesterday's shadow tag (short story collection; i was unable to find a translation)

order of the clock tower:

agatha christie:

and then there were none (novel)

murder on the orient express (novel)

she is the best selling fiction writer of all time there's too much to list here

mimic:

andre gide:

strait is the gate (novel)

trascendents:

arthur rimbaud:

illuminations (poetry collection)

the drunken boat (poem)

a season in hell (prose poem)

johann von goethe:

faust

the sorrows of young werther

paul verlaine:

clair de lune (poem, yes it did inspire the debussy piece, yes)

poems under saturn (poetry collection)

victor hugo:

the hunchback of notre-dame (novel)

les miserables (novel)

william shakespeare:

romeo and juliet (play)

a midsummer nights' dream (play)

sonnets (poetry collection)

the seven traitors:

jules verne:

around the world in 80 days (novel)

journey to the center of the earth (novel)

twenty thousand leagues under the seas (novel)

other:

natsume souseki:

i am a cat (novel)

kokoro (novel)

botchan (novel)

h.g. wells:

the time machine (novella)

the invisible man (novel)

the war of the worlds (novel)

shibusawa tatsuhiko:

the travels of prince takaoka (novel; unable to find translation)

dr. mary wollstonecraft godwin shelley

frankenstein (novel)

[callmearcturus]

reaching Reverse Hills in SMT4 like

[lord-shitbox]

i gotta see ais cry like actually for real. hear me out here. not like on his knees sobbing begging (too hot) actually just like turning away and shaking a lil. trying really hard not to crack but he cant NOT anymore. nice facade you got going there prettyboy what happens when i break it

[fategoflatass]

OMG??

[llamawrites]

I’m thinking about that time in the episode of Captain Scarlet. Where a poor spectrum worker got crushed in between the ceiling and the car, while Pop music was playing loudly to cover up his screams.