#holy shit he also has a thing with knives. the parallels.

[kenonade]

in conversation with 🍬 after seeing dune part 2

[you-cant-spell-subtext-without]

hello hello hello!  and welcome to Season 12 of Supernatural. 

I admit that initially I STRUGGLED WITH SEASON 12.  I LOATHED the British Men of Letters (other than Lady Antonia Bevell; her hot working mom energy can get it); I have...mixed feelings about Mary; overall it was not a stellar season for me the first go-round.  HOWEVER I shall now give it a second chance,  and look for the subtext within the bad (and if my theory tracks, there will be much subtext as...there is much bad).  Maybe I’ll even develop Ketch appreciation.  **ONWARDS ONCE MORE INTO THE BREACH, MY FRIENDS:

When we last left Dean, I neglected to mention that Amara brought his mom back (this is how much I repressed Mary Winchester I guess?)  We cut to Mary, confused, in a nightgown (I get this is part of the character and that’s why she is wearing it sO wE kNOw iTS rEAlLy MaRY WinCHEstEr because of her nightgown and not Sam Smith’s exquisite face, but honestly WHY - LIKE DID SHE WEAR THE DAMN THING IN HEAVEN THE ENTIRE TIME TOO?).

DEAN [breathing heavily] 

Mom. Listen to me. Your name – your name is Mary Sandra Campbell, okay? You were born December 5, 1954, to Samuel and Deanna Campbell. Your father, he bounced around a lot for, uh, work, and you bounced right along with him, and you ended up in Lawrence, Kansas.

MARY 

How do you know all that?

DEAN 

Dad told me. March 23, 1972, you walked out of a movie theater – Slaughterhouse-Five. You loved it, and you bumped into a big Marine and you knocked him flat on his ass. You were embarrassed, and he laughed it off, said you could make it up to him with a cup of coffee. So, you went to, uh, Mulroney's and you talked and he was cute and he knew the words to every Zeppelin song, so when he asked you for your number, you gave it to him, even though you knew your dad would be pissed. That was the night that – that you met –

MARY 

John Winchester.

DEAN 

August 19, 1975, you were married... in Reno. Your idea. A few years later, I came along, then Sammy.

***DEAN DESCRIBING EVERY DAMN DETAIL OF THIS HAS MURDERED ME.  Also, I know John Winchester “told him the story,” but something about this retelling - these are NOT John Winchester’s words (other than maybe “big Marine”).  The emotions, the feelings, the “you talked and he was cute” Dean is describing is Dean’s retelling, the version he created in his mind of this damn meet-cute, this little love story he played over and over in his head, and that makes me feel warm and tingly and also want to ingest sharp knives.  

***Everyone already knows about the damn Zeppelin reference but just in case you wanted to be tortured, please recall that later on we will get

THIS FUCKING SHIT

Nothing to see here other than Dean using a reference from this LOVE STORY on Cas.  I HATE it here in super hell.  Next rounds on you, Sam.

Anyway, Mary has caught on:

I paused here just now because I had a tHoUGHt.  This season is all about exploring Dean and Sam in their role as sons (this is discussed at the SDCC panel prior to the season; btw they are all free on Prime and I recommend watching before you start each new season for little “reveals” behind some of the plot lines).  We know Sam has no relationship to Mary really, he was a baby when she died, but Dean was a little boy - with a personality, character traits, identifying characteristics that his mother probably knew like the back of her hand.  That’s why my first run-in with Mary left a bad taste in mouth during this season - LIKE THIS IS YOUR KID, and there is NO inkling or recognition until THIS moment?  In a show that just spent an entire season exploring the “unexplained connection” between Dean and GODS SISTER, there no immediate “OH” from his own mother?!

But then I realized why she only connected at this very moment.  This particular moment - and not the moment where he lists the factual details about her before the story of the night she met John.  That little story with all those cute details - that’s the part of Dean that Mary knew before she died - when that part was ALL of Dean.  Before hunting, before John’s quest for revenge turned him into the person he is today, before he saw himself as a blunt little instrument.  That’s why initially Mary has no recognition that this is her son - because the Dean she knew was sensitive, and kind, and OPEN, and liked love stories, and laughing, and warm hugs and maybe flowers. Because if you think about it WE DONT KNOW THAT DEAN.  We only know Dean AMD. (After Mary’s Death).

*****************************************************************************************************

So maybe Mary represents Dean Before Mary’s Death, and whatever part of that Dean remains, no matter how deep he has been buried.  The part that connects with people; the part that doesn’t want to be alone.  The part that helped Amara.  The part that loves Cas.  And that’s why Amara brought her back.  

*****************************************************************************************************

Ok, if I think of it this way, I may like Mary a little better now.

BUT ALSO MY BABY:

Cut to Cas.

[THE MAN WALKS OVER TO THE EDGE OF THE CRATER MADE BY THE LANDING AND SEES CASTIEL PULLING HIMSELF OUT.]

MAN 

Holy mother.

[CASTIEL STANDS UP AND LOOKS AROUND]

CASTIEL 

Where am I?

MAN

Uh...Earth?

CASTIEL 

No. How far am I from Lebanon, Kansas?

MAN 

Uh... Th-three hours, maybe. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Who – What are you, man?

[CASTIEL WALKS TOWARDS THE MAN AND TOUCHES HIM ON THE FOREHEAD. THE MAN DROPS TO THE GROUND. CASTIEL LEAVES HIM THERE AS HE DRIVES OFF IN THE TRUCK]

***I spy a Season 11 random parallel

And Cas says, “Earth - 

***Also, I often wonder if in his mind’s inner GPS, Cas bases distances on how far he is from Dean. 

In the meantime, Bad Things Are Happening to Sam.

***Toni Bevell, don’t join the British Men of Letters you’re so sexy hahah

Other than noting that this is yet another too oft- repeated Sam, the Victim, Always Gets Tortured scenario, I see no point in recapping these parts.

I will just continue to post Toni Bevell hotness for these portions of the episode. Ok?  Ok.  You’re welcome.

BACK TO THE BUNKER:

I already posted this sweet baby reunion in my final Season 11 analysis/recap, but lets see it again at another angle and from Mary’s perspective CAUSE CLEARLY she has...*thoughts*

Poor Cas had no idea he was about to MEET THE PARENT 

It melts my little heart that Dean uses Cas’s full name to introduce him to people.  Especially members of his family who are trying to kill him.

Anyway, then we get a much longed for gem of typical Cas deadpan:

(*I still miss Casifer a little bit though*)

And then we have 

A MOMENT OF CONNECTION!  

At the SDCC panel, Misha specifically noted that both Mary and Cas are outsiders, so this tracks. 

They head to the garage:

[Exhaling sharply, Mary walks towards Baby. She runs her hand lightly over the car.]

MARY This was John's car. Oh, she's still beautiful.

DEAN Hell, yeah, she is.

MARY Hi, sweetheart. Remember me?

[MARY LEANS DOWN AND LOOKS INTO THE CAR SMILING. SHE STARTS LOOKING AT THE FRONT SEAT BUT HER EYES AND HER THOUGHTS LINGER ON THE BACK SEAT. DEAN LEANS DOWN LOOKING AT THE INTERIOR OF THE CAR WITH PRIDE. DEAN LOOKS AT HIS MOM AND REALIZES SHE’S HAVING VERY SPECIFIC MEMORIES OF TIME IN THE BACK SEAT. DEAN LOOKS AROUND THE CAR, AND LOOKS AT HIS MOM.]

***this is where you truly see that Sam Smith is a genius because she took those directions and put them all into THIS:

And then THIS:

DEAN 

Oh…

[MARY LOOKS UP AT DEAN. DEAN REALIZES HE MIGHT HAVE BEEN CONCEIVED IN THAT CAR, STANDS UP QUICKLY AND LOOKS OVER THE CAR. DEAN SWALLOWS HARD, AND GLANCES AT CASTIEL WHO GIVES HIM A QUIZZICAL LOOK.]

DEAN 

We should go.

***At this time I would like to remind everyone that Cas is also generally in the back seat of this car.  

MOVING ON

Meanwhile-

Back at the bunker, Cas is Continuing to Connect with his boyfriend’s mother:

[EXTERIOR DAY; INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS AND THE NOISE OF VIDEO GAMES ARE HEARD. THE CAMERA PANS TO MARY WHO’S WATCHING THE SCENE. CASTIEL IS PICKING UP COFFEE.]

CASTIEL 

Thank you.

[CASTIEL TAKES THE COFFEE TO MARY AND SITS DOWN.]

CASTIEL

This must be difficult for you. I remember my first moments on Earth. It was jarring.

MARY 

One word for it. I grew up with Hunters. I've heard of people coming back from the dead before. But to actually do it... after 30 years. A lot's changed.

[MARY LOOKS AROUND.]

MARY A lot.

Cas:

This is usually a look Reserved For Dean, so its interesting Cas is looking at Mary here [they also weirdly joked about Cas hitting on Mary at the SDCC panel and now I'm giggling because if Mary represents the soft part of Dean this all makes PERFECT SENSE).

BONUS

Actual footage of Sam in super hell

The Cas/Mary bonding worked BTW:

[INTERIOR: GREGORY IS SITTING IN FRONT OF HIS DESK WITH CASTIEL, DEAN, AND MARY STANDING BEFORE HIM.]

DEAN 

So, you dug the bullet out of his leg, no questions asked?

GREGORY 

She offered me 100 grand.

MARY 

And you took it?

GREGORY 

Student loans were a bitch, okay?

[ANGRILY CASTIEL STARTS TOWARDS GREGORY.]

DEAN 

Cas! Cas! Cas! Don't hurt him. Not yet.

**Disclosure: I do not accept the “Cass” spelling and take creative license to change it in the script whenever it appears**

GREGORY 

All right, look, she didn't give me her name. When we were done, the driver bailed, I got paid, and then some other chick shows up, and they all drive away.

MARY 

And that's everything you know?

GREGORY 

(insincerely) Yeah. Totally.

****Um, Mom that’s my boyfriend you don’t order him around like tha-

Oh, well, ok then.

***This is important, because Cas doesn’t obey anyone (other than Dean) blindly ever since he invented free will and all that.  Hence Dean’s surprised/impressed look to Mary above.  

Meanwhile:

I recall that I spent most of my first watch of Season 12 gushing over Toni Bevell, so I’m glad to know this won’t be changing.  You’ve been warned.

Next up, Sam is again sex tortured, Cas is a Helpful Boyfriend, and for some reason, Rick Springfield.  

[burningthemidnightcityoil]

THE USUAL SUSPECTS

Eeyup. More Problem Sleuth.

This time isn’t so much as dissecting every little thing that pops out of that comic; I’m gonna break down the characters.

So let’s start.

PROBLEM SLEUTH

Rude; He even has a Meter telling him that his Politeness sucks.

His main stat is basically Charisma, but he is an impolite asshole apparently. But his “Diplomacy” is just him pulling out a can of kick ass. His first outing as actually being a Diplomat... and he cheats..

All, but one, of his Alter Egos is Female. Take that as you will.

And his God Ego is apparently a Goddess of Prostitution.

His favored candy is Candy Corn. Which has inspired many toward favoring the ill-gotten Halloween snack.

His Halloween special is basically him as a Vampire, with High Speed. I suppose he subscribes to the Sexy Vampire trope gig, cos actual Dracula does not have Charisma.

Good with one-liners and puns; though as we see with Frankenstein PI, it falls short at times.

Characteristically, he’s more related to Weasels; but he aligned himself with Elves and never shifted back.

He likes Knives

He gathered his team up by acting like a fool and swearing at them... and it worked.

His natural association with Angels or Angelic Beings, sexy bits, as well as dedicating himself to a narrative role of being a Noir Detective; puts him as a Hope Player.

His pension for Theft, Cheating, and having a Crew; possibly makes him a Rogue.

ACE DICK

Rude. No no, worse than Sleuth. Like, this dude punches people in the face as a Greeting to establish dominance.

His main Stat is basically Strength.

... And his Auto-Parry is to just take the full front force of the force by the force of his entire front.

And apparently his God Ego is the Devil? Likely, it has to do with all that indulgences and violence he partakes in.

He likes Chilli peppers enough to consider them precious cargo.

... There’s no telling if his Halloween gig is an actual Zombie, or it was just convenient for him to play Zombie, being an actual Zombie at the time. At least we know he likes Gummy Worms.

His imagination sucks, but that doesn’t mean he’s not creative. He puts what he has to use, and he’s appears to be very good with finances.

Of course his imagination sucks, he’s the Down to Earth guy.

But he’s also unbelievably gluttonous, and likely morally inept. Consider the fact that he hired Whores to come to his place of business to give him a good time.

Out of the entire Crew, AD suffers the most. He suffers a Salsa based transformation, he becomes a Zombie, he fuckin Dies, he has an entire life made by Death (don’t ask) which promptly falls apart in the worst way possible, he treats being assaulted by tentacles exactly how you expect if you got assaulted by tentacles, This dude is the “Reality Ensues” guy.

He’s the only one who figures out, why not just fuck up a guy when he’s in his fort? It doesn’t work, but its a good start. Points for trying.

All his Alter Egos that aren’t just copies of him, are Gay. Take that as you will.

The Dude fathered the Homestuck equivalent of both Batman and the Antichrist. That is a Horrifyingly bad or outrageously fantastic DC comic in the making.

Lots of fanfic gives his dude a dirty mouth. While the mouth might literally be dirty, Sleuth swears more than AD.

He has an attack that’s about eating / swallowing things, and he does use this against people (like Kingpin).

His association with the Physical, Feasting, disgusting sexy bits, being the least creative and kinda boring guy, but being outrageously physically powerful; Puts him as a Void Player.

On the ropes on which class he is.

PICKLE INSPECTOR

Exceedingly Polite. Second most polite guy here. The dude will play a game with Sugar Cubes as dice for hours, in fear of being rude.

His main Stat of Imagination is an odd one to deal with... but I equate it with Intelligence. Cos frankly, holding an image in your mind in such detail and logical deduction (consider his imaginary office), would put him firmly on the Intelligence path.

His Auto-Parry is him getting distracted. He-He gets distracted, in a life threatening situation. How on earth--

His Alter Egos are all honestly just him. In fact, half the Comic is about his Future / Past copies. His Gentleman Ego is apparently both more physically active, and more akin to ogling ladies. So that’s probably as far away from PI as your gonna get.

PI technically has 2 Godly Egos, but in this case, I’m counting one God Ego. And its Death, the Ultimate Reality. The other isn’t merely a God, but a fucking GODHEAD. That’s like, Deep Lore levels of holy shit. You’re getting into CHIM and Zero Summing. Game Over dude.

He likes movie Frankenstein’s Monster it seems, and he has an outrageous Strength stat as Frankenstein’s Monster. Which is odd, cos you think he’d be more in line with the Good Doctor instead. Hm...

If he needs help, he just asks.

He can’t solve Sudoku, don’t let him fool you.

PI seems to favor all sorts of candy.

Apparently, him being very Tall is prophecy worthy.

Most fanfics or roleplays give him a stutter. There’s no evidence of this in the comic itself, but interpretations are free to interpret.

He has an attack that’s all about staring at people.

Aspect wise, its very difficult to say what he is. Death is a Doom thing, but PI is very imaginative, which would put him somewhere in Mind-Hope-Breath-Life-Light. Considering he basically makes up the universe too, that’s Space and Time to consider. But if we break a few things down... He’s all about staring or seeing things or people. His Future / Past selves all come in various Primary or RGB colors. His imagination is Sight-Based, he imagines stories or objects, and his Godhead is merely the eternal Watcher. He’s probably a Light Player, as Light can travel Space, illuminating objects, whilst also defying time (Faster than the Speed of Light fucks Time up a lot). But his pension for Creation, his association with the Entire Universe, would likely make him a Space Player too. So more thinking and breakdown required.

Class wise... Hm... Well, he’s probably a Sylph; which in Homestuck case, makes PI the first Sylph ever. His character is associated with an entire environment, the imaginary realm, his fairy association is with Elves, and he literally makes things.

HYSTERICAL DAME

She seems nice enough, but boy she’s heavy on the old fashioned slang.

It seems that Alter Egos are very simple. They don’t have stats, or auto parries, and they share their Alter Egos with the Heroes Themselves.

Consider, however, HD’s case. All but one of Sleuth’s Alter Egos are female; which means instead that those Alter Egos are likely all Dame’s.

Which means that the Semidemonde Goddess is Dame’s Godly Ego, not Sleuth’s. Sleuth might not have one, it could just be his Sepulchritude and title as Arbiter.

HD should have her own stat, with associated candy.

She does appear to be ESSENTIAL. Cos she doesn’t die, she just gets knocked out.

This lady introduced the Lipstick Chainsaw.

HD is a very protective sort, and her first instinct is to provide aid.

But, she also has her own BERSERK RAGE (The Hysteria Meter). She’s like Dragon Ball Z’s Chichi in a sense.

Next to that, she’s a helluva a leader. She commands the Whores to serve as her Army (Which parallels the Goddesss’ own Angel army), and is the first on the attack toward Kingpin (Only when under Sleuth’s direct line does she actually fear him). She’ll even frisk MK’s corpse.

Physically Powerful; she can hold a lot of guns, one of which is the fuckin Hair Pin Machine Gun.

... So basically, PS made a lady who could and will kick his ass.

Rage Player. No questions asked. Only Rage Players have Berserk Modes.

Class wise, its a little difficult. But considering she bulks folks up when she meets him, I’d call her a Maid.

MADE OF RAAAAAAGE

NERVOUS BROAD

Literally, the Nicest. The nicest lady ever. of all time.

Her Nerves are on stage here. Be it merely being Nervous... or having fuckin Nerves of Steel.

And her case of the Vapors is her pulling out a god damn Flame thrower.

Teddy Bear. Knife. Commence Virtuous Mission.

This lady is armed to the teeth, and she’s one of the kindest characters here.

If Godhead Pickle Inspector is a reference to Acalokitesvara (”Holder of the Lotus” or “Lord Who Regards”), that probably means that Nervous Broad is Guanyin. ... The Goddess of Mercy.

She has seen everything that has come to pass and will come to pass, all at once, while falling into a Black Hole.

She can use the ASPECT CORSET to alter her height and proportions, and not suffer any ill effects afterwards.

Aspect for NB is like PI. Its difficult to discern, and I need to research more before I can determine exactly what her aspect is... Though the alteration of physical proportions likely turns her to Space.

She’s probably a Seer, thanks to that Event Horizon. 

Possibly more in the future...

[nobody-wants-ice-cream]

Everything Wrong With The Umbrella Academy. Episode 8, I Heard a Rumor.

This episode is particularly brutal. Warnings include child abuse, domestic abuse, suicide, rape, gore, and manipulation. Keep yourself safe.

We Only See Each Other at Weddings and Funerals

Run Boy Run

Extra Ordinary

Man on the Moon

Number Five

The Day That Wasn’t

The Day That Was

Disclaimer: This is all in good fun! I wanted to do a really nitpicky re-watch of the series and found some really cool and interesting things I didn’t notice before. This is meant to have a Cinema Sins-esque tone. However, I did take off a lot more sins than Cinema Sins would have because I do genuinely like the series and the people that made it possible. So all of the good things got one sin off and all the bad things got one sin added. This is a really long post, so grab some popcorn. If there’s anything that I missed, feel free to add it!

I would also like to add that normally you wouldn’t watch a show this way. I am purposefully looking for mistakes, easter eggs, and other things that we’re not supposed to notice. I am watching not with the goal of entertainment, but for analysis. So most of the things that I sin, I am seeing for the first time.

Also, no I can’t do better. I am in no way qualified to give this level of criticism about anything. I am not taking this seriously. At all. 

I Heard a Rumor

Stormy Weather by Etta James. I adore this song. When I first watched the show I was so happy when this song came on.-1

I am also taking a sin off for the Emmy Raver-Lampman version -1

It looks like Allison genuinely adores her daughter. And Claire’s bedroom? I would want to have that room now and I am at least ten years older than her. -1

Speaking of, how old is Claire? Sin until we have answers. +1

The animations for the story of The Umbrella Academy defeating the robbers at the museum. -2

“While your Uncle Klaus got a little distracted.” What did Klaus do on missions again? +1

Allison carefully censors the mission so she is still telling the truth but doesn’t actually say that Diego used knives or that Ben used the horror to (presumably, we don’t know how much control Ben had) kill four people. Good job. See Reggie, this is how you don’t traumatise your kid with violence. -1

“Their leader.” Looks suspiciously like a villain from the comics. -1

“I wanna hear the one about the Eiffel tower.” Me too, Claire. Especially since the magazine clips we see suggest Five was there this time. -1

Mind control. ON A CHILD. This is what bothers me the most about Allison as a character and I am glad that she is moving past it. However, in no universe can I let this go. Depending on how Allison used it, Claire’s emotional control could be fucked for life. +40

Patrick behaves like a rational human being and doesn’t blow up at Allison for this in front of their child. He also divorces her in order to keep said child safe. Good. -1

“I heard a rumor you love me.” Who did she say this to? It doesn’t matter who, it’s still disturbing, but oh dear God who did she say this to? I think this is the second most fucked up thing we hear Allison say after the rumoring Claire scene. +10

Allison is going 120 kmh, or 75 mph, in the rain. If you have ever driven a car in the rain then you know exactly why I am sinning this. For those who don’t know, google hydroplaning. Allison could have died here very, very easily. +3

Title screen on a billboard! I forgot how cool the episode 8 title screen was. -1

Allison doesn’t bring her proof with her when going to confront Vanya, who has been shown to be irrational when it comes to Leonard. +1

Bird jumpscare. +1

“They want me to come back tomorrow be fitted for a prosthetic eye”. Leonard places emphasis on the words “prosthetic eye” to remind the viewers that Leonard is bad news. Good acting choice. -1

Leonard’s clothes look freshly bloody when the blood should be several hours old and therefore a more rusty brown color than a bright red. I think. I don’t know if that’s how it works with such large amounts of blood. +1

Luther’s bed is now magically big enough to fit both him and the rave girl. +1

Luther’s reaction to the rave girl. Rewatch this scene to get such a laugh at Luther’s face. -1

How out of it was Luther vs the rave girl? Consent issues on both sides. +3

Luther treated the rave girl to some wine? Or cranberry juice? How thoughtful. -1

I really, really hope they were safe though. There is no evidence to imply they were safe. (If you don’t know what I’m talking about then you’re too young to be watching TUA). +1

Klaus is such a little shit. “Wakey wakey! Eggs and bakey!” while ringing the bell. Peak sibling culture is doing this sort of thing while knowing that the other sibling is NOT going to appreciate it. Also, Klaus deserves his revenge after last night. -1

The little wave the rave girl gives Klaus. -1

Go back and watch this scene. Holy shit this is so underrated. This is the funniest thing ever. -1

“He popped his cherry! Now you’re gonna have to marry her” -4

Klaus doesn’t remember his first time. Consent issues. +3

“No dilly-dallying, alright?” I love Klaus. -1

Klaus makes french press coffee for Luther and Ben. Klaus is a good brother. -1

I would kill to see Ben’s reaction to Luther and the rave girl. +1

Five snatches Luther’s coffee and not Ben’s, ya know, the guy who can’t drink the coffee. And is invisible. Five is a dick to Luther or Five wanted to be a little shit to Luther after having to hear him and the rave girl. Either way, +1

He steals the coffee and he complains about it. +1

Ben! -1

“This is a bad idea” no shit. +1

The awkward pauses where Ben is presumably speaking don’t make sense here. +1

The camera trickery used to make Luther look like a giant compared to Five. -1

Five knows where the aspirin is “top shelf next to the crackers” because he was also hungover. I think. I can’t remember if FIve stopped back at the house, but presumably he and Luther had to go there to get the car. -1

Luther still isn’t getting up to get the aspirin even though he can listen just fine while getting it. +1

Ben adding to the dramatic tension of the scene in a uniquely humorous way that only this show can pull off. -2

Luther doesn’t believe Klaus about Reggie’s suicide. What reason would Klaus have to lie about this, Luther? +1

Five believes him right away. -1

Convenient Pogo backing up Klaus is convenient. +1

This has nothing to do with this very dramatic and important scene, but the mismatched chairs, while cute, don’t appear in any other scene. +1

Five calls Reggie a “sick bastard” under his breath. That’s one way to describe him. -1

Pogo kept this secret for a long time. Not telling the kids was a strange choice and I’m not sure why Pogo made it. On one hand, he would be respecting the wishes of his creator and friend but on the other he would be helping these people come to terms with their father’s death. Pogo’s character motivations are strange and I don’t understand them. +1

Luther said it best, “there’s always choice.” +1

Random thought I had, where was Harold’s grandmother when he was being abused and then going to jail because he killed his abuser? +1

Leonard says some nice things in this scene. If we didn’t know how manipulative he was I would give him credit for this line. +1

Agnes looks adorable out of the Griddy’s uniform. Costume/hair people, you did good. -1

Agnes keeps saying things like “we aren’t in a rush” and talking about seeing three years worth of stops to remind us that there is no time. Hazel looks heartbroken by it. -1

Allison abandons her vehicle. Do not take driving advice from The Umbrella Academy, ever! +1

Allison sees a random scarf from several cars away and immediately connects it with Vanya. Does she also have super sight? +1

The first time we see Allison get recognized by a random stranger for her acting is eight episodes in. +1

Cheddar (the cop Allison is talking to) is so enamored by Allison that he stops doing his job correctly. +1

“Jackpine cove” who named these towns? +1

Allison and Five have the same little shrug when they finish telling terrible lies. -1

Allison is a terrible liar. +1

Diego is still in jail. They’re talking about transferring him upstate. This is really bad news. +1

“Did she use that word? Contentious?” The definitions of contentious all say the word argument. Beeman says that Diego and Patch had an argumentative relationship. This matters to Diego. Why? +1

This conversation was written by someone who doesn’t understand the connotation of the word contentious. +1

Beeman encourages Diego to escape and go on the run. Are all the cops incompitent on this show? You have Patch, who hasn’t pinned Diego for obstruction of justice despite the show implying that Diego has touched evidence he wasn’t supposed to many times, Cheddar, who is so distracted by Allison freakin’ Hargreeves that he forgets that taking her along to a murder case is unethical at best, and Beeman who straight up encourages Diego to escape from jail. That last one is definitely illegal. +10

The parallel between Five and Leonard reading something they aren’t supposed to have in the bathroom. Both the apocalypse file and the journal are red, too. This means something but I don’t have the analysis skills to really go into it. If anyone wants to take a crack at it, go ahead. Sin removed because I know this is smart even if I can’t figure out why.-1

Vanya’s training implies that Reggie has been training these kids hard since they were at least four years old. +7

Current Sin Count: 73

Reggie doesn’t praise Vanya for breaking the glass, he just demands that she does it again. Say it with me now, Reggie is a dick. +1

Leonard straight up uses the word extraordinary. Sigh. +1

The description for how Vanya’s powers work (concentrate on a constant sound until that’s all you can hear and then use an emotional connection to target) is surprisingly good. This is the best description of somebody’s powers we’ve ever gotten in this show. -1

Klaus is attempting to get the yarn on the needle and failing miserably. This is one of the simpler, if tedious, things we do in knitting. Therefore, it is completely understandable how a beginner can’t make heads or tails of it. -1

Five is still injured. The old man walk gives it away. +1

Five treats Klaus like a second in command. I want more of this duo. -1

“So how’d the crazy bastard actually know to kill himself a week before the end of the world?” We would all like to know the answer to that question. Five would be excellent at cinema sins. +1

“Don’t answer, that was purely rhetorical.” Nice cop out, show. +1

Reggie used The Apocalypse to make his kids do the dishes. Checks out. +1

Five and Klaus bond over hating doing the dishes and the person making them do the dishes. Sibling culture. -1

“Where have you been?” “Jail. Long story.” The looks on Klaus and Five’s faces! -2

Vanya breaks the monocle. Good job, kid. However, if you know the comics then you know why I am mildly concerned about this. -1

“That will conclude your training for the time being.” Meaning the next 25 years. Reggie, you suck. +1

Now Vanya’s powers are a bit more vague and imply that she has super hearing. +1

Leonard’s training routine actually includes some praise, which is a step up from Reggie. However, a step up from Reggie is still someplace in hell, so it’s still a sin. +1

It’s also a sin because it’s uncontrolled and Vanya is afraid of it, yet Leonard keeps pushing her. +1

Leonard uses the kind of language Reggie would use to describe Vanya’s powers. Checks out because he read Reggie’s book and is using his ideas to train Vanya. +1

Helen Cho’s missing person poster reminds the viewer that Leonard is bad news. +1

Vanya plays for the St. Pluvium Chamber Orchestra. First of all, no they have a conductor. +1

Second of all, “Pluvium” means of or relating to rain. The Umbrella Academy fights against the leader of the rain orchestra in episode 10. Who came up with that pun? That is absolutely hilarious. -1

Based on a post by @seven-valid-libras I think Griddy’s is across the street from this bar? I am not 100% sure. If it is then that’s a sin off because Agnes definitely has a bunch of drunk people coming in for doughnuts every now and then. I lowkey want to write this fic. -1

“Maybe they’ll brood each other to death” Is this a reference to the fact that Luther and Diego were both too emo for umbrellas in episode 1? -1

I feel so bad for Luther right now. Reggie really fucked with his head. +1

After hearing that Vanya’s boyfriend is a convicted murderer, Luther is more concerned for Allison than he is for Vanya. +1

Diego’s face when Luther says “you should have led with that!” [the fact that Allison went after a convicted murderer alone] -1

Luther is right. Diego should have led with that. +1

Luther breaks the door in his rush to get out of the bar. Checks out. -1

Mary J. Blige. -1

The shop is closing because Agnes is leaving? Who owns Griddy’s? +1

And if the shop is closing, then why leave doughnuts on the shelf? Are they gifts for the other waitresses who are now out of a job? +1

Agnes keeps a flamingo (presumably, scented) candle in a bakery. +1

Cha Cha was way too close to that explosion to not get some scratches at the very least. +1

Sergeant Cheddar is letting Allison stay in the room while he interrogates Mr. Luntz (the man that survived Vanya’s powers). +1

What kind of person allows themselves to be hired by some guy in order to beat him up in front of his girlfriend? Who does that? Are there people like that who exist in real life? +1

Allison doesn’t get pissed off when Luntz says that they started to hurt the girl (Vanya) too. +1

Sgt. Cheddar finally gets pissed off with Allison after she starts leading Luntz. This took way too long. +1

“What I really need to do is practice,” said every musician ever. Including me. As I’m typing this I’m putting off practicing. Vanya is calling me out. I deserve it. +1

Also, Vanya just got first chair and so far she still hasn’t learned the solo the day before the concert. That is such a mood. -1

The cracks in Leonard’s personality are finally starting to show. If Harold was smart he would let Vanya do this without attempting to manipulate her into more practice. +1

Vanya left her violin propped up in the middle of a sofa. That is a broken violin waiting to happen. +1

Where is her rosin? Don’t tell me she reuses the same rosin and doesn’t clean her instrument. Please. +2

Leonard doesn’t tell Vanya where he will be going. He just sort of leaves without a note. This would be fine if this universe had cell phones, but it doesn’t. Leonard is a dick. +1

Agnes would like to spend her (Hazel tells her it’s hypothetical but we know it’s not) last two days on Earth with Hazel. That is so sweet. But also, they met less than a week ago. +1

This is the turning point that makes Hazel an active character that wants to stop the apocalypse. Finally some character motivation that makes sense! Whoop! -1

They Call Me a Fool by Damon is another one of my favorites from the soundtrack. What can I say, I’m a sucker for jazz. -1

There is a parallel between Five leaving Vanya’s apartment and Leonard leaving her at the cabin. Her brother (whom I assume she loves) and the man she is infatuated with both leave her at some point without warning. The people who Vanya loves keep leaving her. +2

Vanya puts her violin down on a chair and lets the bow fall. Bows are expensive. +1

“I made a secret place just for you. None of your siblings get to play there.” Of course Reggie is framing it this way. He’s scared of her. +1

The further away from Pogo the camera is, the less real he looks. +1

Reggie and Pogo locked Vanya in this cage. +1

Vanya’s violin bow fell down but in the next shot it’s propped on the chair. +1

Sgt. Cheddar tells Allison to stay put but has no way to verify that she actually will. Also, if he’s such a fan then shouldn’t he know that she used to be a superhero? +1

Allison kept her proof about Leonard/Harold in the car again. +1

“I love you. And I wanna be here for you as your sister.” -1

“I love him.” Vanya you met him less than a week ago. +2

If there was ever a wrong time to bring up the fact that you took Vanya’s powers away and left her with a horribly low self esteem due to the poorly worded “I heard a rumor that you think you’re just ordinary”, it would be now! Now is the wrong time to bring this up! +10

Reggie used Allison to make Vanya powerless. Reggie is a dick. An absolute bastard. A complete scumbag. Etc. +20

Reggie has also been drugging Vanya since she was FOUR YEARS OLD. +50

Insert Reggie insults here. Feel free to come up with your own in the tags. Fuck this guy repeatedly with a rusty chainsaw. +20

Vanya is not in the right state of mind to understand that Reggie is the one that made Allison rumor her. +1

The final fight between Allison and Vanya is heartbreaking. Emmy Raver-Lampman and Ellen Page are excellent actresses. -5

Vanya’s skin keeps getting paler and paler. Foreshadowing. -1

This is the only time Allison attempts to use her powers in the show. To save her life. I would say that it is pretty justified. -1

Violin bows are not sharp enough to cut human flesh. Is this another part of Vanya’s power? +1

Gore warning! This is super fucked. Not gonna lie, I gag a little every time I see this.+4

Vanya is freaking out and then Leonard walks in. Vanya’s mental state is completely out the window at this point. +4

Leonard manhandles Vanya into letting her sister die (as far as they know) on the floor of the cabin. +10

Allison has definitely lost enough blood to kill her, yet she survives this. +1

Leonard went out to kill Luntz. +10

Nobody in the car (Five driving, Klaus shotgun, Luther and Diego in the back) is wearing a seatbelt. +1

Also, of these four people, Five is the most qualified to drive right now? Diego is sitting right there! And we saw Klaus drive the ice cream truck! Luther would have some trouble driving because he’s so large. But really?? +2

“Can you go any faster?” “Ask me again and I’ll burn you with the cigarette lighter.” The comic relief doesn’t really land here because the scene before was so dramatic and the music is still playing. To change the mood, the song would also have to change. +2

Independently, that is a pretty funny Grandpa Five line. -1

Including Ben in the scene where they find Allison bleeding out on the floor is a subtle reminder to the audience that if Allison was dead, Klaus would be able to see her ghost. The lack of a ghost means she is still alive. +1

Also, this scene has all the original members of The Umbrella Academy in it. Look how far they’ve come from the bank robbery. +6

No one is checking for a pulse right now. They’re just assuming that Allison is dead. +10

Overall Review: It goes without saying that this episode is fucking brutal. When I first watched it I had to stop and go do something else for a while because of the rumor reveal and the throat thing. That was really, really concerning. Props to Emmy Raver-Lampman. She fucking killed it this episode. If anyone was wondering if she was a good actress (ya know because of all the “come look at this” lines she kept getting) then this episode made it very clear that she can act and she does it very, very well. 

So, Vanya’s sanity is out the window, Allison is down for the count, and no one cares about the apocalypse right now. That last one is understandable because of Allison’s situation, but damn it really isn’t looking good for the Hargreeves siblings. 

Also, I want to talk about something. This is the last episode in which Allison and Vanya are both capable of speech. And in the eight hours we have known these two women, they have had multiple conversations. All of them have been about a man. Their brothers, their father, Patrick, or Leonard/Harold. Seriously, the two women in this show that are main characters never have a conversation that isn’t about a man. There is no excuse. With the fridging and this, you have to wonder if the writers on this show hate women or something? I don’t normally add sins post analysis, but I think I will make an exception for this one. +100

Total: 283

Sentence: Serious gore. 

[mattelektras]

can you talk about logan and elektra's friendship?

how long you got 

SOMETIMES when a bitch needs therapy and wont get it, they find another bitch who should be going to therapy and then they do murders together

they both have really similar experiences with being used by clandestine organisations and that sometimes even involving like. mind control and brainwashing. eg logan’s weapon x shit vs elektra’s hand shit. also logan’s beserker side vs elektra’s erynys side

and both of them never hold things against one another, like, for what they did when they werent themselves, or even when they were. because i think they both have the same understanding of the fact that sometimes people are bad and sometimes those people are us 

in savage wolverine logan said that being with elektra is a ‘lot like being alone’ which gives them that kind of friendship where they dont have to talk or communicate often to have a deep relationship. also for logan, with the xmen, theres so many of them and theyre all so VOCALLY there for him, and love him which can be hard for someone who isnt necessarily used to the family shit so to have elektra who’s the complete opposite of that and doesn’t show it with words or actions

she saw him as a man when he was more animal, and trained him back to being himself and he always seen her as more than a hand assassin even with the blackhawk thing. never held the fact that she took down a helicarrier because she had to pretend to be mind controlled and beat the hand in th long run

even when logan was being controlled into killing daredevil he was still self aware enough to be like ‘matthew you incorrigible slut you’re not good enough for my girl fuck you’

in elektra vol 1 he heard that she was dating someone new and showed up to town to make sure he was good enough for her

she dropped in on him at avengers tower and he just dropped whatever he was doing w them and was like right ok babe who are we killing IMMEDIATELY

she took him back to her home in greece!!!!!!! where she grew up!!!!!! she hasnt even taken matt there!!!!

this is a personal kind of. concept. that i have. but after being resurrected and messed with multiple times by the hand and having her body literally split in two. i find it kind of fake that elektra would age normally or be killed by any simple means, and obviously logan doesnt. so i imagine that after they outlive all of their loved ones they meet every once in a while as a reminder of their pasts. like 2 bitchy old immortals having tea and shit talking

logan has acknowledged multiple times that elektra is more dangerous than he is. very sexy of him

she’s like 7 ft tall and he’s tiny and that one panel in enemy of the state where his head came up to like her mid torso?? chef kiss

this is paraphrasing but logan was once inner monologuing about how rare and special and beautiful she was and she was doing the same but like ‘he’s very small and quite ugly. i love him so much’

i think emma made him watch desperate housewives one time and he didnt want to admit he liked it so he went to elektra’s and they binged all 8 seasons

the parallel of ororo when logan dies vs matt when elektra died. thank god ororo has mental stability

speaking of. the first time he introduces her to ororo, elektra pulls him aside like. holy shit. holyyyy shit

they both see a young girl having a shit time and their knives are OUT

mutant au that i think about a lot where elektra has skarlet esque blood magic powers and has a similar pull towards a lack of humanity as logan. they’d a have a similar kind of relationship as he has with betsy but elektra would have less to do with like. the xmen and more to do with. extra curricular murder 

also he makes it very clear he has black widow’s phone number and can give it to her at any time. did you know nat does yoga on wednesdays? how funny would that be if you ALSO did yoga on wednesdays

[heyktula]

Fic Breakdown for Closer, Chapter One (aka, the DVD Extras)

So, chapter one of Closer, the first installment in Somewhere in Canada (the Terror kink AU)... went up today! And let me tell you what, I am hype because this is my very first longfic in the Terror fandom, and it's centered around a subject very near and dear to my heart—BDSM. It's a love letter to power exchange, the sheer joy of kink, conventions, and sex education.

Like other fic breakdowns I've done, this'll be in three parts—technical notes (like POV and stylistic choices), story notes (like characterization and kink info), and then, instead of the editing section I usually include, I'm going to talk about specific lines at the end.

I blame Edward for the line notes, tbh. I love him, but he's a himbo, and many things went unobserved in the course of this story.

(Okay, fine, it's not entirely his fault. Some of it is that he's just so steeped in kink that he doesn't think twice about a bunch of the stuff going on.)

Technical Considerations

Inspiration: So this fic is a love letter to kink, and kink education, and conventions, which in my experience can be life-changing opportunities to meet people with similar interests, and also to be able to do some exploration of your own and figure out what makes you tick. I'm pretty sure there's an AU version of me that makes their living off kink education and the convention circuit, but (un)fortunately, in this particular universe, I am a fic writer (and, occasionally, a paid one as well).

Closer is also a love letter to rough physical play. I remember sitting in my very first workshop on the topic, and just being wide-eyed that a) this is a thing, b) it looks fun. (It is, actually, fun.) There's a ton of reasons I love it—and hopefully, after Closer concludes, you'll be able to see some of the reasons why—but I also love that physical play doesn't have any financial barriers to entry. (The irony of Edward "rich boy" Little being heavily into it has not escaped me.)

Timeline:  Hilariously, I actually started this verse for a Fitzier fic—it takes place six months from Closer, at the winter version of the conference—but while I was working my way through the Fitzier setup, I was like 'fuck it, I should write a quick one-off joplittle to establish the verse', and lo and behold, my "quick one-off" turned out to be sixty k, and it runs parallel to a Tozer/Irving that I  have yet to write, but which is visible in Closer if you squint. So, uh, oops.

So this story fits into a very specific space in the timeline—that is, it's prior to Fitzjames and Crozier having met, but it's after the (second) Cracroft/Crozier breakup. (If you were wondering if that's why Francis isn't running his own damn booth, yes, that's why. He's very likely depression drinking in London at this very moment.)

Setting: I wanted to stay true to the spirit of the whole, you know, boatload of white men going to Canada and being confused, but I wanted them to go for better reasons. It's so rare that we get shows set in Canada, you know? And I feel very passionately about our winters here, in that I complain about them while they're happening, but I do also kind of enjoy the challenge, in a really fucked-up sort of a way. So I set the fic in Canada too, and then, because I was explicitly setting it here, I also got to lean into a bunch of Canadian stereotypes (like Goodsir living his best life in plaid and denim and the inevitable Tim Horton's jokes) and I actually had a lot of fun doing it, so I guess that was something I learned about myself.

Story Considerations:

Primary Kinks: So most people involved in BDSM have a "thing"—you know, the thing that they care about more than they care about any other things. And one of the most fun things for me about creating an AU like this is going through the characters and figuring out what everybody's niche is. Like, it makes sense to me that Hickey would be that edgeplay asshole that's in the kink scene specifically so he can fuck with people. Tozer having a military fetish (and also being a bit of a kink snob) totally fits with his whole "now what the bloody hell do people think that means?" speech.

If you've ever been to a fetish convention, you've seen guys like Blanky, who have been in the scene forever, and made their name handcrafting BDSM gear. They're easy to talk to, and will totally tell you about that time they ran an entire scene using only items found in their kitchen. You've seen women like Sophia Cracroft, who have a cluster of people surrounding her at all times, and who is never short of someone who will bring her tea if it looks like she's thirsty. And you've also seen guys like Ross, who are reasonably famous in their areas of expertise—the kind of guy that you see across the hall, and you're like "shit, is that James Clark Ross?" (And it is! Holy shit!)

Canadian Kink: So! I live in the prairies, and it's as conservative as hell out here. That means there's some specifics to kink culture that I'm not sure translate to other parts of Canada—and they definitely don't translate back to England. For example, every public event I've ever been to (by which I mean every event that wasn't being held in someone's house) has mandated that penetration cannot occur during the event. No toys in orifices, no bits in other bits, no mucous membranes touching, no oral, no fingering, no handjobs, no intercourse, all that kind of stuff. I'm not convinced that you couldn't have sex in a dungeon in, say, Vancouver, or Toronto, or any of the other bigger centers—but that hasn't been my experience in the prairies, and I kept those restrictions for plot purposes in Closer. (Sorry, Jopson. I promise I still love you.)

Canadian weapons laws being what they are also means that some of the gear that's totally okay in other places (like butterfly knives) is totally illegal in Canada (sorry, Tozer. No apologies for you, Hickey.). The sap gloves that Edward is mourning are, unfortunately, one of the items that get lost in the shuffle. Sap gloves are pretty neat—they're leather gloves which are weighted with lead on the knuckles/backs of the hands. They make your punches harder, but they also protect your hands—and, for somebody like Edward, who does a lot of punching when he plays, that protection is definitely beneficial. Plus, they're a bit of a signalling thing—having a set of sap gloves hanging off your belt makes it very clear what kind of things you're into, and I think Edward is a bit bereft not having that this weekend, because he's not used to having to make those introductions cold.

Edgeplay: There's sort of a, er. Spectrum of what is and isn't considered to be "acceptable" kink, even within the kink community. Some kinds of kink are seen as more publicly acceptable, and some kinds are relegated back to the fringes and the dark corners. In the context of Closer, that means Tozer, Hickey, and Little are our resident edgeplayers. This isn't a judgement on the type of play they do (well, it is a judgement on Hickey, but we don't have time to go into *gestures* all that), but it is a statement about the way that type of play is perceived. Sophia Cracroft can, with very little finessing, put photographs of her in rope suspension onto her various social media accounts, and as long as she's clothed, it's perfectly acceptable content to just have out there, and people are going to call it artistic and Instagram-worthy. Tozer, on the other hand, ain't getting any recordings of interrogation scenes he's run posted anywhere except to Pornhub.  (The less we say about Hickey's knife-play, the better.)

Similarly, because the rough physical play that Edward does looks fairly intense from the outside (and is pretty intense from the inside), he gets to live in the not-that-publicly-acceptable area of kink. The area of kink where they usually put the crash mats at the far end of the dungeon, because that way, if you don't want to watch two people whaling on each other with their fists, you don't need to see it. This "stigma" is important in Edward's conception of himself, because on one hand, we see in his conversation with Goodsir that Edward absolutely knows his shit and, hero-worship of Crozier aside, has the knowledge base to be a fantastic educator in his own right—but we also see the subtle kinkshaming coming from both Hickey and Tozer about where Edward's place is in all this. That is to say—Edward's place is with them, in the dark shadowy spots, and not in the "socially acceptable" circles that Crozier's circle of people (Jopson included) are perceived to be running in. (There's a sense, coming from Tozer, that there's no point in Edward pursuing getting onto the org committee for the conference itself, because they won't want someone like Edward there—but, again, that's some pretty insidious kinkshaming coming from Tozer, and we could all just let that go and be better for it. Goodsir clearly doesn't feel like Edward's presence would be a detriment.)

So, yeah. I'll excuse Tozer's kinkshaming bullshit temporarily, as he needs to sort himself out. I don't think he's trying to drag Edward down so much as he just thinks Edward's being a bit delusional, and wants to save him the disappointment when Jopson invariably rejects him for being way too kinky and intense. (If Edward is moping around all weekend, he'll be in the hotel room, and how's Tozer supposed to get his dick sucked by random hookups then? "Yeah, come on back to mine, don't mind my roommate, he's a moody bastard and won't participate even if we ask." Not winning any prizes there, lads.)

I won't excuse Hickey's kinkshaming; he's definitely trying to make Edward feel like shit on purpose. I could speculate as to the reasons, but they're probably gross. (I mean, I know the reasons. Hickey's gonna Hickey.)

(There's a whole entire essay I could write about incorrect assumptions that literally everyone is making about the type of play Thomas Jopson must be into, based on his nice hair and nice eyes and nice smile, but I'll just let Jopson handle those corrections on his own, as he's very capable of doing so.)

Concerning the Chapter Title: If you were gonna take a risk, Neddo, the social was the time to do it—and you done fucked that up, sweetheart.

Tomorrow is another day. Give it another shot then, yeah?

Line Notes:

Edward looks across the hall again, cringes. “No, fuck, that’s—no, I think that’s Sophia Cracroft, Sol, I’m not—Christ. Sophia Cracroft, Jesus.”

I will never not find this introduction to Edward Little fucking hilarious, because he comes off as so competent from Jopson's POV when he's arguing with Hickey in the parking lot, and yet the moment we see Edward in his own POV, he's just a mess. I love him very much, but he's a mess. This was one of the deciding factors in the dual POV as well—I knew going in that the brunt of the story was going to be from Edward's POV, but weaving in those occasional Jopson bits lets us see how Edward looks from the other side.

(Also, Tozer three hundred percent knows exactly who Sophia Cracroft is, because he demonstrates that, like, two sentences later, meaning that he’s literally just winding Edward up here, and it goes right over Edward’s head. God.)

It’s the older guy across the hall that’s laughing his ass off, but the cutie is standing right next to him, looking down at his phone, his ears charmingly pink. 

As a reminder, Edward is wearing a white tank, and just stretched his arms out behind his back. The nipple piercings are very obvious, Jopson was three hundred percent staring, and Blanky definitely caught him and is laughing his ass off about it.

“…I know what this is about,” Tozer says, tying an orange bandana around his left bicep.

The orange bandana is a hanky code thing—which, yes, it's dated, and it's not really in use anymore, but Tozer seems like the kind of guy that would tattoo his kinks on his forehead just so everybody could see them if they would all fit. Failing to find any way to gracefully do that, we instead have the orange hanky ("anything goes") on the left arm ("top").

(Older guy, thankfully, is wearing a ring on the fourth finger of his left hand. Cutie isn’t. So there’s no obvious problems there.)

Jopson not wearing a ring indicates literally nothing about whether or not he's available, but I guess whatever makes Edward feel better about himself is fine. He's right with his assumption about Jopson, in this case, but it's literally nothing more than a wild guess, and the mental hoops he's jumping through only exist to make him feel better about himself.

(Esther usually attends these events with Blanky—but somebody needed to hold down the fort in London this time, and so she's in London at present. It's for the best, she can check on Francis every so often.)

[Hickey] sticks his hand in the pocket of his latex cargo shorts...

I won't take criticism on this fashion statement, constructive or otherwise.



So, that's it for this week! Chapter two, Aware, goes up next Friday! See you then! And if you have questions or anything in the meantime, you can always drop me an ask on tumblr or Curious Cat!

[ryouverua]

Back to the Library

Maki’s smiles are few and far in-between but they always warm my heart <3

Also, ‘Hope Searching’ is growing on me. I know it’s a remix of ‘Despair Searching’, which, in turn, is the DRV3 jazzy version of the two investigation themes from DR1 and SDR2 but I was... maybe... quietly... hoping for a remixed version of ‘Living in a Lazy, Parallel World’. >3> I’M SORRY I KNOW I WON’T SHUT UP ABOUT HOW MUCH I LIKE THAT SONG -

HER RELUCTANT FAITH IN KOKICHI (AND HER STRONGER FAITH IN KAITO) PAID OFF AND I AM ECSTATIC -

I like that she used the term ‘worried’ here, lmao.

.............. Huh. I haven’t thought about the ‘there are no bugs’ question in a while, tbh. Ah, Gonta...

... Oh my god Kokichi took Gonta seriously. Oh my god Kokichi took Gonta seriously, despite Gonta backing down and being self-deprecating and cowed by his classmates not taking him seriously. Oh my god Kokichi respected Gonta’s expertise in his talent and didn’t actually just write him off oh my god -

HOW MANY THINGS DID HE TASK MIU TO MAKE?!

Miu is either super into pastel or super into steampunk when she designs her stuff, man. 8′D

OKAY DAMN THAT’S ACTUALLY REALLY LOUD

That.... has to be important, though. The absence of something that should be there is just as important as them catching something. Right??? And the game is clearly telling us that it’s an important clue - also, hell, the fact that Kokichi latched onto this strongly enough to commission Miu to make something alongside the hammers and the electrobombs means something!

“I spent time trusting in Kokichi’s good will and I’m trying to get back in your good graces so appreciate this and validate my efforts, damn it.” tsun

Well apparently it’s important enough to warrant a truth bullet...

AAAAAAAW

Oh god, can you imagine if part of the building collapses here before Himiko got to the room and killed Shuichi, Maki and Tsumugi? Ffff that would be so damn awful -

I JUST COMPLETELY LOST MY SHIT THAT COMEDIC TIMING WAS ON POINT -

oh

oh fuck

LMAO WHELP

K1-B0 CAN I PLEAD FOR MERCY OR -

....... is that a no -

don’t tell me what to do, game.

LMAO WHELP HIMIKO AT LEAST WE WENT OUT TOGETHER

anyway RECORD SCRATCH, REWIND, plz don’t kill me again k1-b0 I can’t help the fact that I love fluff text -

Am I losing my mind or is this the second strong Ace Attorney: Spirit of Justice reference they’ve made???

“Also it’s stuff like this that led you to being blown up a moment ago. Please prioritize.” never

DUDE WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT LOOK YOU LITERALLY JUST GAVE US

is this what happens when you get blown up

you switch timelines and now everyone’s mad at you for no reason

??? Where did this reaction come from??? I-I feel like I’m missing something here?! Why would we get mad at you for this?

E... Every time I think I’ve come to grips with Himiko’s character, she says something that throws me for a loop...

MAKI NO -

If I’m still going with the necklace theory, maybe that’s the only one he had? I mean, it would make sense - if it’s from Monokuma, he would only make one copy of it. I was just assuming because it was part of his outfit that Rantaro would have multiple, but maybe that assumption itself is wrong - because it’s not part of his ‘official’ outfit, there’s no need for copies of it like everything else (shirt, pants, etc). He just has the one soldier tag, as his ‘perk’.

....... Or I could be completely wrong. That’s on the table too - it always is. 8′D

.... Kokichi...? He can lockpick and he did have a clear interest in Rantaro - but I feel like Maki would have come across it if so? it’s buried under all the clutter, dear god K1-b0 give us more time do you know how hard it is to go through a hoarder’s things?!

Also, also! I’m enjoying working in tandem with Shuichi. It feels like we’re both coming up with ideas independent of one another, as opposed to me being leaps ahead - his ideas are prompting my own. And honestly, that’s how it should be with our detective character!

TSUMUGI WHY ARE YOU SO EAGER I AM LITERALLY THE MOST SUSPICIOUS OF YOU

YOU SHOULD BE THE WARIEST ONE OF ALL OF US

T A N T E I    I N T E N S I F I E S

M-MAKI I’D SAY YOU’RE KILLING ME HERE BUT I’D BE AFRAID OF YOU TAKING ME SERIOUSLY

we.... we LITERALLY have talked about this. TALK FIRST. SEARCH FIRST. THINK FIRST, NO KILLING.

“Maki why do we need to keep having this discussion -”

oH MY GOD TSUMUGI SCREAMED AND IT SCARED THE HELL OUT OF ME

Oh. Great.

I FEEL LIKE THAT DEFEATS THE PURPOSE OF CONTINUING THE KILLING GAME -

SWEETCHEEKS THE K1-B0 GUN -

!!!!!!!!

asd;klfj k1-b0 holy fuck

.... I... I’m not even joking when I say that I so badly, so desperately wish I could see Kokichi’s reaction to the new K1-b0. Miu’s reaction to the new K1-b0 oh god the kiiruma vibes would be real. JUST. I WANT IT SO BADLY. DAMN IT.

A K1-b0 who doesn’t even look at his enemy after taking him down, who seems infinitely more sure of himself but so much more extreme, who still does care for his classmates in an abstract sense but has become so much more cold.... I, I just can’t help but wonder. Is this the real K1-b0?

Damn, he just doesn’t care at all anymore. It’s all about direct action now. No time for play, no time to talk. I hate to see it, but it’s very... robotic of you. Of course, that might just be what we need right now...

Like??? He does care for their safety in this situation??? But he also is clearly willing to blow up the building with them in it, as clearly shown in the fact that SWEETCHEEKS WAS LITERALLY BLOWN UP FOR TAKING TOO LONG IN HIS INVESTIGATION AND K1-B0 DIDN’T EVEN TRY TO EVACUATE THEM -

wHAT IS THE TRUTH

before K1-b0

after K1-b0

like if you think both pictures are equally beautiful

I’d like to think that there’s nothing left to attack us? All the exisals are on the outside and the Monokubs, too - we also haven’t seen any copies of Monokuma lying about. lmao at it being Tsumugi being worried about going in there now btw

MAKI JUST... STRIKE BACK NON-LETHALLY, OKAY -

I-If you’re in here protecting us while we explore the hidden room, you won’t blow up the school if dawn happens to reach us first, right

because that would defeat the purpose, right

RIGHT - ?!

K1-B0 I DON’T LIKE THIS SILENCE -

also:

literally clicks on Maki, she immediately gets defensive about having the ‘no killing’ talk for the 15th time this chapter pff

I, erm, would like your definition of ‘revenge’ though. I feel like that’s important.

8′)))))

god right in the kaito

GOD EVERY TIME YOU SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT, I GET LESS SURE ABOUT MY SUSPICIONS TOWARD YOU... BUT............... uuuurughghugh

Okay, that’s fair. Just, you know. Remember. No killing. Nonlethal wounds only. Maybe stick to knives - crossbows seem a little bit ‘too soon’, considering.

Ah Kaede, if only you were here to see us now. 8′\

[nickireadstfc]

The King’s Men, Chapter 2 – Welcome Back, I Guess

In which the squad is reunited in the usual heartfelt fashion, Andrew has inquiries about learning curves, we finally find a hashtag for Abby, and Neil gets a makeover.

Sounds good? Then it’s time for Nicki to read The King’s Men.

Hello hello hello! It’s been almost exactly three months since I last updated this trainwreck of a blog, holy shit. I have no one to blame but my own lazy ass.

But none of that matters because – here we are! The hellride continues, fucking finally.

In other news: We hit 1,000 followers during hiatus!

Wowzie. I’m still stunned by the number of people who want to read my bullshit antics.

So, if you’ve only found this blog during my hiatus – welcome! If you’ve been around for this shitshow since the beginning – welcome back!

Here’s to the rest of the series.

(Oh boy.)

             [Neil] needed his teammates to think he was okay. That meant going about the day as if Christmas had never happened. He bought himself time to lock his thoughts down by going for the world’s slowest run down Perimeter Road.

Neil, I love you, I truly do. You are a brave, defiant, proud soul, armed with a battalion of wit and a truly unbreakable spirit.

But you are also an absolute, absolute cockhead.

DO NOT JOG WHEN YOU JUST HAD EVERY BONE IN YOUR BODY BROKEN, YOU MASSIVE FUCKING SHITBRAIN.

Neil’s body is apparently an inkling smarter than his mush brain, because it immediately punishes him by making him fall asleep in the library. Serves him right.

And how does he wake up? By my absolute, absolute favourite line in this book so far.

             Fingers digging into the back of his skull startled him awake. (…) “Is your learning curve a horizontal line?” Andrew asked. “I told you yesterday to stop making my life difficult.”

IS YOUR LEARNING CURVE A HORIZONTAL LINE, holy shit. Andrew, my boy, my man, never ever ever let me doubt your sass capabilities.

(Not that I ever did, because honestly.)

This may not only be my favourite line in this book so far, but also my favourite line Andrew has ever let past his small rage-filled lips. Is your learning curve a horizontal line.

Tattoo this on my body, paint this on my walls, print this on a blanket and bury me in it.

On a more somber note – this is how our boy Neil wakes up, en detail:

             Fingers digging into the back of his skull startled him awake. He grabbed for a gun, for a knife, for anything close enough to buy him room to flee, and sent the computer mouse skidding across the table.

Does that violent, alert way of waking up ring any bells? Like, any?

The Neil/Andrew parallels are real, you guys, and I am so here for it.

Andrew and the gang fetch Neil to drive to the stadium for fun Fox reunion times, and in the car, Neil makes an interesting discovery:

             A car key was fastened to the adapter head with a rubber band. (…) Either Andrew had confiscated Nicky’s copy or he’d gone out and gotten Neil one of his own. Neither option made much sense to Neil. He’d only used Andrew’s car because Andrew needed a second driver in his absence.

Oh… my… actual… fuck. How can anybody be this OBLIVIOUS. Harry Potter who?

Whether Neil realizes it or not, they are now Car Sharing Boyfriends™ and I am loving the fuck out of this development.

Upon arriving at the Foxhole, Abby confiscates Neil in order to look him over, meaning we’re in for some good good healthy Abby lovin’ in this time of stress.

             “You won’t ask [about the contact lenses and the hair]?” Neil said.

             “I’ve seen you scars, Neil. I’m not as surprised as I should be to find out they’re not the only things you hide. I want to ask, but you told me once already not to pry.”

Excuse me, why is Abby such an actual angel descended from the heavens. We do not deserve her and her absolute kindness. No one does.

(Lies. Neil does. Neil needs that shit.)

And because Abby is a kind and responsible woman with her head screwed on, she benches Neil for a week until he is at least marginally better – which of course, Mr Dramatic Cockhead over here does not enjoy.

             “A week,” Neil echoed. “That isn’t fair.”

             “No,” Abby said, and cupped his face in her hands. “This isn’t fair. None of this is.”

             The pain in her voice killed Neil’s argument in his throat.

Ouch.

             “Sometimes I think this job is going to kill me,” Abby said. “Seeing what people have done, what people continue to do, to my Foxes. I wish I could protect you, but I’m always too late. All I can do is patch you up afterward and hope for the best.”

Oh, ouch.

And then –

             Abby folded her arms around him and pulled him into a hug. (…) The only people who’d ever hugged Neil were his teammates, and those were quick squeezes throughout a good game. His mother had pulled him close before, (…) but she’d never held him like he was something to be sheltered.

Abby, I have never loved you more than in this very moment.

I wanna make a joke about any of this, but I can’t. I’m crying.

Just – #hugsoutforabby

We’ve been searching for three books, and now we finally found a hashtag. Excuse me while I dry my tears with it.

And not enough with that – the Best Hug Ever also makes Neil think on some important stuff:

             [His mother] was gone. Even if she was here, she wouldn’t have comforted him for this. She wouldn’t have held him like he was a hard breath away from shaking apart. She’d have cleaned his wounds because they couldn’t risk being slowed by infection, but she’d hit him for choosing the Foxes over his own safety.

Breaking news: Mama Josten is an actually awful human being, and Neil finally experiencing what real motherly love feels like makes him realize that.

To that, I have nothing to add.

(I do have some hands that Mama Josten can catch if I ever come across her.)

As Neil is released from Abby’s care, he finally meets up with the Foxes, and the usual heart-felt greeting formalities are exchanged – that is to say, Andrew punches the fuck out of Matt for hitting Kevin (Neil intervenes and easily stops Andrew, because, well, obvs), Nicky has exactly 0% sympathy for Matt, Matt calls Andrew crazy and Nicky a monster, and the goalie BFFs have a warm reunion by means of a curt two-second head nod.

So, you know, same old, same old.

             Wymack quirked a brow at Matt, then looked to Neil and Andrew.

             “Didn’t we have a talk about not killing your teammates?”

When. When has a talk like that ever worked, David.

             “[Allison] is not crying,” Neil said.

             Nicky grinned. “Five bucks says she is.”

             Neil should have brushed it off. Maybe a month ago he would have. (…)

             Neil kept the edge out of his voice, but barely. “Don’t you dare bet on someone’s grief.”

HECK YES.

My boy Neil’s development of Not Taking Any Bullshit Anymore has already begun last book and continues to grow, and I am so here for it.

Shortly before Wymack can commence his usual motivation talk, a lil unexpected something happens: As Andrew takes out a knife (which is not unexpected), Neil has War Flashbacks to his father (which is neither), but as he makes a comment about it – Renee drops in.

             “I’ve never understood why he likes knives.” (…)

             [Renee]’d stopped mid-sentence to stare at Neil, but the Renee studying him wasn’t the Foxes’ redeemed optimist. Her sweet smile was gone and the too-blank look in her face reminded Neil of Andrew. (…)

             [Renee and Andrew] stared each other down, soundless and still, oblivious to the bewildered looks their teammates sent between them.

Uhm. What?

I thought we were done with backstory on Renee’s part. Don’t tell me my sweet murder princess has past beef with Mr Chop Chop himself. DO NOT.

What is happening.

But, alas – the moment passes, and Wymack finally starts giving them the ol’ Listen Up, Fuckers, Here’s How We’re Gonna Not Die This Season Speech.

Heads up: They’re most definitely gonna die this season.

The good news: The only reason they’re only most definitely gonna die is because the USC Trojans, the Edgar Allan Ravens and U of Penn – you know, the Three Main Fuckers – are up against each other before semi-finals, meaning one of them will bite it before they have a chance to bite the Foxes.

Yoo-fucking-hoo.

Neil “I’m Fine” Josten, of course, tries to make his case for being let off the health leash once again, but is quickly silenced by, well, every present person with half a brain.

Also – this.

             “A fierce season and ample tragedies means we’re the talk of the town, and this year people might actually root for the underdog. The board want us to encourager that fever with more publicity. Expect more cameras at games, more interviews, and more nosiness in general.”

Oh yeah, because that has always worked out so goddamn well.

Let us reward your charming talent for attracting death threats every time you do so much as smell a camera by supplying more cameras.

             “If I could ban some of you from ever opening your mouths in public, I would, but this is out of my hands.”

At least Wymack agrees.

And last order of today – Mission How To Get Neil To Look Less Like An Actual Punching Bag, which is elegantly solved by everything that solves every problem in a good high school/college movie:

A makeover.

Yup, you read that right, Allison swoops in like an makeup goddess descended from the high Sephora heavens (which, like – she is) and covers up Neil’s bruises like an absolute badass.

10/10 would learn how to contour and colour-block again.

             Neil took [the mirror] from her outstretched hand but let it rest glass-down in his lap. Allison motioned for him to take a peek. Neil shook his head. (…)

             “Not scared of Riko, but scared of your own reflection?”

Clearly, Allison has never looked into the mirror after a night spent getting thoroughly fucked up.

Or like, she just looks naturally flawless even after partying her brains out, which is honestly the more plausible answer.

Also please give me all the fanarts of Neil getting makeup tips and talking about boys with Allison, Renee and Dan, please and thank you.

             Neil was tired and sore and not at all looking forward to his week off the court, but for a moment none of that mattered.

             “We’re okay,” he said to the empty hall. “We’re going to be okay.”

And I’m not.

Happy fucking holidays to all of us! No matter what you’re celebrating - if aynthing at all - I wish you a wonderful time and I hope you’re all well.

Updates will - this time for real - continue in the new year. It’s my resolution, and for once I’m actually set on pulling through with it.

Have a lovely time everyone, take care.

And as always: If you like what I do here and you want to help me continue writing fun things for you, please consider buying me a coffee. Every lil bit helps, getting me through uni and all that jazz. Thanks so much!

[imagitory]

Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi Review [Spoilers]

Hey all! So I just got back from seeing The Last Jedi, so I can finally put my two-cents in on the newest installment of the trilogy. Before getting into spoilers, I will say this film is a worthy addition to the franchise, building upon concepts from previous movies while also creating new, creative imagery for this film that fits alongside the stuff that came before it. While I successfully guessed a few twists this film took, it also surprised me just as much, and I greatly appreciate that. It kept me on my toes the entire time. Overall, I would say every Star Wars fan will get something great out of this, even if they end up not liking the film as a whole.

Now then...spoilers ahead. Beware, all ye who enter here.

The Good!

+These action scenes...DAMN! I think they were easily some of the most creative and thrilling in the entire film series. Rose and Finn’s chase through intergalactic Las Vegas Canto Bight, the opening battle with the fighter jets, the confrontation at the rebel base, and the battle between Rey, Kylo Ren, and the First Order officers were all fantastic. The effects were spot-on, the music matched the movement perfectly, and the choreography of both the CGI and the actors was really well-done.

+Mark Hamill as Luke. I mean, yeah -- what can you say here except “duh?” Mark really went above and beyond here. Yes, I knew I was going to love seeing him as Luke again for nostalgic reasons, but what I love most is how much more depth Mark brought to the character, after all of the trials and tribulations he’s gone through between the films. He depicted a character who most would think would solely be a mentor figure, given his age and his beloved status, but who it turns out has his own learning curve to take on. He needs to acknowledge that while the Jedi were flawed, their philosophy shouldn’t just be completely thrown out and their old religion shouldn’t just be forgotten -- there are pieces that are still of use and should be passed on. It’s something Rey also realizes, and Kylo does not -- Kylo wants to burn everything down, including the past, regardless of the shreds of good there might be in that past along with the bad. And like Rey, as much as I was sad to see Luke go, I felt peace as it was happening. He is now one with the Force. Now he can guide Rey into the future and haunt Kylo for his mistakes -- both of which I will support him in wholeheartedly.

+Carrie Fisher as Leia. This truly was a shining performance -- I feel so beyond blessed that she was able to finish shooting her scenes before her sudden death, because hail to the motherfucking Queen, baby. When the Rebel bridge got blown up with Leia inside (good touch having it be Kylo’s men and not Kylo who did it, by the by), I literally felt myself stop breathing. But then she FLOATED HERSELF BACK TO THE SHIP TO SAVE HERSELF AND HOLY SHIT. It was actually eerie seeing Leia unconscious on the ship, as I couldn’t help but think of how Carrie had also been in a coma just before she passed...it was beyond merciful that Leia survived in this installment, and that she got to kick so much ass here. I do wonder how the filmmakers are going to handle her loss in the next movie...but wow, am I glad we got to see Carrie one last time on film, especially when she gave such a good performance.

+The focus on Poe. Honestly, Poe Dameron didn’t get that much attention in The Force Awakens, and I’m glad he got his proper share of spotlight here. I love the arc he went through and how he came to appreciate Vice Admiral Holdo’s leadership, even despite their differing approaches and distrust of each other. I think he’ll truly be able to step into Leia’s shoes as leader of the Rebellion in the future, now that he’s learned the value of human life over glory.

+The theme of rebellion being a symbol of hope to the oppressed, best exemplified by Rose and the other marginalized citizens of intergalactic Las Vegas Canto Bight. Yeah, I keep referencing Las Vegas when I talk about that planet, and yeah, they clearly modeled the look of the wealthy casinos and buildings off of it...but after having visited Vegas recently, and since I’m living in another wealthy tourist town myself (Anaheim), I must applaud the fact that they modeled the planet’s ugly underbelly to the same one that you can find in Vegas and cities like it, and actually took the time to discuss it. Where there is obscene wealth, there is also sickening, crippling poverty; where there is privilege, there will always be abuse. It ties back into the lesson Luke taught Rey about light and darkness -- how they constantly balance each other. But just like how Rey and Kylo mirror each other, being strong in the light and the darkness respectively, so too can rebellion become an equal to tyranny...and the end of the movie with the children likewise invigorated to take on the fight about to come left me feeling empowered.

+Finn’s arc from solely focusing on his friends and himself to seeing the Rebellion as something just as important to fight for. I’ve always seen Finn as a Hufflepuff or a Slytherin, morality-wise, in that he values his inner-circle over the whole world, but it was really neat to have him learn about how the world must be safe in order for the things he loves to be safe too.

+Kylo Ren killing Snoke. It felt in character and I think it will allow Kylo to go darker and become the real Big-Bad of the trilogy, since he won’t have to skirt around Snoke’s coattails anymore. Plus, admittedly, I always found Snoke sort of disappointing as Star Wars villains go, and I think it establishes how very treacherous the First Order is -- Kylo turned on Snoke, so who is to say Hux or any of his other subordinates won’t turn on Kylo? Unlike the Rebellion, whose bonds are strengthening, we’re already getting the hint of just how fragile the bonds binding the First Order together are...and that means Kylo has no one who he can truly rely on, unlike Rey, who of course has friends she can trust.

+I like that for all of the “mirroring” this film tried to do with Rey and Kylo, Rey still refused to follow him. She’s strong enough in herself and her moral compass to use her head and not trust him, even if he tries to lure her with knowledge of her parents and a promise of companionship. (I mean, seriously, Rey -- who gives a damn about your deadbeat parents, Finn and Poe and Chewie and BB-8 and Leia love you like few other things in this world! They’re your real family!)

+All of the actors gave very strong performances. I can honestly not pick out any weak links here -- they all gave it their all.

+The hacker character DJ I hope pops up again in the next movie. He seems like an interesting chaotic neutral character and since he didn’t get much of a resolution in this film, I look forward to what he’ll get in the next one.

+FINN KICKED CAPTAIN PHASMA’S ASS, HELLZ YEAH, THAT’S MY BOY. (Also, good to see Phasma having more screen time than in the last movie, even if it still wasn’t that much.)

The Not-So-Good...

+All the Reylo shipper fuel. *dodges knives* OKAY -- LISTEN. I do not support Rey/Kylo, and I probably never will, but shipping aside, here’s my problem with it -- the film did not properly convey why Rey has forgiven Kylo enough to let him into her mind. I’m sorry, it just didn’t. Kylo killed his father -- Rey’s mentor -- one of the first three protagonists that we all fell in love with in the original trilogy -- who went to bring his son back to the Light, only to get stabbed through the chest for his trouble. I just didn’t feel anything close to what Rey did when she started going, “Why? Why did you do it?” and questioning why Kylo destroyed the Jedi Temple -- I’m sorry, all I saw from Kylo in this film is that he was conflicted, not that he was sorry or had any interest in fixing his mistakes. It doesn’t matter if killing his father was painful for him -- it should be. He committed first-degree patricide. Feeling bad for your actions alone is not enough -- you then have to do something about it -- and Kylo did not do that. It felt like in some ways they were trying to parallel Padme and Anakin, where Padme likewise fruitlessly implores Anakin to come back to the Light Side even though it’s too late -- but there are a million and one differences between Anakin and Kylo, most relevant in this case being that Anakin’s reason to not turn back was out of misguided love for Padme (and later because he had no choice, since he’d alienated all of his allies and his suit basically left him tethered to Darth Sidious and the Empire), and that Kylo’s was to assert his loyalty to Snoke (and later to take vengeance against those who wronged him and assert his power). Anakin was trying to protect one of the people that meant the world to him after having known so little love in his life, while Kylo had a family who supported him, taught him, and trained him and he decided that Snoke’s approval and his own pride were more important than that. Anakin was raised to think that he was nothing -- a worthless slave -- while Kylo knew likely from the time he was very little that he was special and decided to act out because of it. Anakin’s initial fall was out of ignorance and a selfish kind of love, but Kylo’s was out of active vengeance, teenage angst, privileged frustration, and a toxic need to dominate and control. Snoke was right when he said that Kylo was no Vader, and that he instead was just a child -- he’s too immature to even acknowledge that his rationale for falling to the Dark Side and doing what he did was WRONG AND EVIL AND STUPID. That’s why I still don’t forgive Kylo Ren, that’s why I don’t think Rey should’ve been as open to him as she was, and that’s why I was satisfied by the ending where Kylo proved himself to be just as vile as I always thought he was, by blaming Snoke’s death on Rey so he can take over the First Order himself and go about terrorizing the galaxy. Someone who was truly sorry for what he’d done and had the capacity to change would’ve at the very least taken the “Zuko Alone” route and tried to recollect himself and redefine a new moral code that he can follow. As of now, the way things are now, I hope that in the final movie Kylo Ren burns, leaving nothing behind but a pile of ash, same as the Jedi Temple he burned to the ground.

+Rose/Finn. I know a few other people have said this, but...yeah. It was WAY too rushed. Honestly, the only thing I can hope for is that in the next film, Finn has to politely turn Rose’s feelings down, because honestly there was just not enough romantic chemistry built up between the two characters. I’m not a rabid Poe/Finn or Finn/Rey shipper, but I still think either of those couples had much more behind them than what this film gave Finn/Rose. Maybe this couple could’ve been written better, maybe it couldn’t have been, but regardless, it was a misstep for this film, the way it was handled.

+C3PO and R2D2 were pretty much dead weight in this movie. BB-8 remained relevant and necessary throughout the runtime, but our old veterans were basically props. They didn’t even really get that many laughs.

+Porgs may be cute, but...wow, were they oddly forgettable. I liked the crystal foxes (Vulptex?) much better.

I definitely look forward to seeing how this new trilogy ends. The messages and action of this movie definitely make me eager to see how the filmmakers will follow it up, and I hope that the few problems I did have are properly addressed. The new Star Wars trilogy is truly exciting...the possibility and potential for the next one truly are limitless, as far as I can see.

Overall Grade: B

[nanyoky]

AWWW YEAH KIDS. I am HYPED. I woke up stupidly early for zero reason, Infinity War trailer came out, I talked to my leasing agent, steamed some tablecloths at work, came home, shotgunned one on an empty stomach and now i’m READY WITH SUSHI AND CIDER

oh my god we have a fucking saw/blair witch/every shitty horror movie from the 90s and 00s “this is REAL people” intro i’ve only had one piece of sushi i’m not PREPARED for this

i’m assuming these pairs are all just people who have just boned. bughead. varchie. josyle. ....mackler?

jughead’s like “don’t blame yourself babe let me offer emotional comfort in this trying time” and betty’s just “shut up i’m solving a MYSTERY.”

((this is the exact point i paused to jump over to tumblr and type that last i’d like to thank not only god but jesus))

he just called her poirot they definitely banged. changing from cute nicknames that imply your gf is a fresh faced young lady detective to “lol babe you’re such a mustachioed old man” is def one of those comfortable, intimate signs you’ve touched each other’s business 

me, @ penny’s bangs: you again

“messed up that pretty face of his” fp jones was the town bicycle and worked his way through literally everyone in his age demographic before 30, confirmed

jughead is such a sweet bean. so sweet. such a bean. fully realizes that violence is a regular part of his dad’s life. has experienced some of this violence himself (the gauntlet). still spirals into a panic at hearing his dad got beat up.

penny peabody is the shadiest person on this show and that is SAYING something. she is just- LOVING the powertrip. she LIVES for this. jughead- wide eyed, panicked, offering all he has and anything else she can think of- her black little heart is beating out a samba

i can’t fucking WAIT to find out that fp is fine and hasn’t been hassled one bit but the goulies in jail and penny just came up with this story for the  LEVERAGE

cheryl pushes her way between jarchie with josie in her wake because they have gay things to do that require the full span of the hallway

there is a CHAIN on this box

archie’s fantasy for their future is the gayest thing i’ve ever heard is he about to propose

“where are betty and veronica in this?” because jughead knows he’s about to get a marraige proposal and fully intends to say yes but doesn’t want the core four to get weird. “they’re roommates” because archie supports beronica

of course the tire goes out and the old guy from every horror flick of the 80s pulls over to offer some folksy yet sinister help

“you’re not seriously going to go with this guy alone, are you?” archie keeps whiplashing from “pretty but dumb” to “only person with any fucking sense in this town” so fast i have a headache

“you’ve come this far. we’re all good. okay?” oh my god. oh my god. jughead is REASSURING archie that he hasn’t failed him in this favor. now. as he is about to drive off into the night with ol man smithers who definitely has a suspicious amount of rope and knives in his glovebox. this what he takes the time to communicate. i am feeling DELICATE.

“don’t look under that tarp boy” DON’T LOOK UNDER THAT TARP BOY? DON’T LOOK UNDER THAT TARP BOY?? DON’T LOOK UNDER THAT TARP BOY??? DON’T LOOK UNDER THAT TARP BOY????

YASSSSSS. what did i say a few months ago huh??? what did i say? i said “god i hope season 2 doesn’t abandon the mega creepy trend of people comparing archie to jason.” and lo. the creepy dude on the road delivers. my savior.

oh fuck me sideways was that the title card i’ve been drinking on an empty stomach don’t judge me

there is so much about this episode that’s giving me a heavy Jeepers Creepers vibe

jesus christ riverdale has had MULTIPLE SERIAL KILLERS in this guys lifespan. the town with pep. has had two serial killers. currently has two active gangs. HOW MANY PEOPLE EVEN LIVE HERE?!

whut the fuck why is archie seeing good trip bambi

honestly jughead i feel like if someone says “don’t look under that tarp boy” and you’re SURPRISED when you see blood leaking out of the tarp at least like 20% of this is on you

i feel like jughead probably went from “oh phew it’s a deer” to “nope definitely a sicko” in the second it took for this guy to assure him that his hunting does not make him comparable to a serial killer

jughead perks up at “slaughtered family” because he’s read in cold blood 50 times and can’t wait to bring it up again

archie came back for his boi i’m so proud right now my heart is so full

teh crate says “wiscatonic ((as in whiskey-tonic)) university via h.p. lovecraft” and “polar expedition january 13 1923″ because this show loves me and wants me to be happy

PENNY IS MAKING A POWER GRAB WITH THE KING IN JAIL HELP I’M SO ALIVE

great soundtrack choice

these boys are just being so TENDER rn this is what i signed up for i need to lie down

fucking told you fp’s fine

“or raise your voice to me ever again” HOLY SHIT. HOLY SHIT. HOLY SHIT. PENNY. FUCKING PEABODY.

“fp made me a promise he didn’t keep” oh my goodness. oh my golly. oh my goshdarnit.

JOSIE SIDEPLOT

again it’s really hard to remember that these characters are kids cuz none of the actors look like teenagers but a mom being like “honey there is a serial killer on the loose and yo’re the mayor’s daughter can you maybe not go walking alone after dark” is a pretty fucking reasonable request. get a walking buddy jos come on.

oh yes that is not a remotely sinister gift tag “i’ll be watching you” is a totally normal harmless crush thing to say

“are you the one putting things in my locker” “well i can be” “ew.” ICONIC EXCHANGE.

“i don’t date” yes my love for josie just increased

“Chuck asked me out” “im assuming you said no” “of course.” “good because our wedding is next year and i’ve already got way too many deposits out”

no the supporting cats are back only to break things off with alpha kitty nooooo

oof chuck’s turnin a new leaf OR IS HE

also this begs an interesting question about loyalties because clearly josie is all about supporting other women, and season one cheryl is very much okay with aligning herself with season one chuck, but cheryl and josie are very tight from day one so do they talk about these kinds of things? did season one cheryl downplay her combativeness and full ability to step on every woman around herself to lift herself up around josie because she wanted kisses?  i need answers.

okay so chuck is trying to be a better person and i guess this is sweet but last episode i was half committed to hitching my wagon to josie/reggie???? what am i supposed to do now?! i’m not fickle! but this is getting more time and development and i’m so tired of fighting the tides of canon. my life is HARD okay guys.

“You’re in here doing THE TWIST” this woman deserves an oscar for saying that with a straight face

okay but WHY keep this from people. unless she’s getting further communication. unless she’s being threatened. GOD I FEEL LIKE PEOPLE ARE BEING TOLD TO HUSH UP BUT WE’RE NOT SEEING IT ON SCREEN I CAN’T WAIT IF THAT GETS REVEALED

josie has the exact same hairdo three days in a row because it’s the same SUBPLOT

WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT IT LOOKS LIKE A DAMNED SHOULDER PAD PENNY IS THAT YOU

OMG PARALLEL PLOTS THAT’S WHAT’S GOING ON WOW I’M DRUNK THAT TOOK ME AWHILE TO CATCH UP

okay so now cheryl is all about condemning misogyny- i mean it makes sense with her season 2 subplot but like kinda some 180 here no?

like why why is she so quick to say it’s him when it doesn’t fit. what gain. other than a smokescreen because she’s being threatened by the real perpetrator to throw suspicion I AM SO TIRED BUT I NEED ANSWERS

“there’s no evidence” “well keep looking” mayor mackers is such a sleeper shady person in this town

WHAT THE FLYING FUCK CHERYL

CHERYL CHERYL CHERYL

WHAT THE FUCK

Kevin: “my dad’s been acting shady” beronica: “SUSPECT. TUMBLR WAS RIGHT.”

“he’s the black hood” “he’s having an affair” “Maybe he’s having an affair AND he’s the black hood” JESUS CHRIST

oh no what are you going to do veronica please don’t try to seduce your friends dad i don’t think i can handle that

sheriff k seems REAL ready to share details of an ongoing investigation with the school newspaper. maybe betty has just worn him down

KEVIN IS A CLOSET TABLETOP NERD HELP ME I NEED TO KNOW MORE HOW DID HE GET INTO THIS DO HE AND BETTY PLAY THIS DID HE MAKE JOAQUIN PLAY THIS I NEED ANSWERS PEOPLE

why is THIS the comedic subplot of the episode i mean i love it but HONESTLY!?

oh god please don’t tell me these are sex grunts stop grunting sheriff k

he is so uncomfortable veronica stop

OOOOOOHHHHHHH kevin’s mom is miliatary. gotcha. that had been nagging at me.

oh frick oh dang. it’s too early in the season for this but DANG SHERIFF K GOT SOME SPLAININ TO DO

“i’m in. for kevin’s sake. and also to keep you in check” every friendgroup needs a veronica I desperately need a veronica

oh god no this is a trainwreck betty stop this

FUCKIN CALLED IT  MACKLER SAILS YASS

GAAAAHHHHHHHHH

Episode Scorecard:

# of sick beat drop editing sequences: none that i counted- nice use of retro tho.

do i still miss joaquin: yes. even moreso now that i’m reminded of the missed opportunity of he and the sheriff meeting. can you fucking imagine how awkward? IMAGINE IT. also i miss polly. either bring them back or write me a fic where they’re chillin together safe from harm.

episode hair mvp: Melody’s confrontation afro

episode outfit mvp: cheryl’s very bisexual romper. honorable mention to veronica’s very veronica pjs

cast and crew mvp: editing. some really nice throwbacks and genre motifs as well as use of comedic editing style. it all felt natural too which is hard to pull off. well done in the cutting room. also whoever made the stamps for that drug crate. and gave the shady truck dude that hat.