#holt hyde g

[monthgirl]

it's ride or die babes

[d3eathcurbing]

Whenever I hear things to do by Alex G I think of Holt Hyde but like more specifically during Ghouls Rule because of how he wasnt always brought around because people liked his company but because they preferred to have him around vs. being around Jackson even though they both share the same body and are BOTH half normie and half monster and that Jackson just happens to be normie passing, and how quickly and easily it led to him almost dying over a false accusation about something juvenile and petty and how eager the police and normie school were to kill him even though he was CLEARLY a child and I-

[spencers-abit-weebish]

Pet Hyde

XxX

Warnings: Arson, Jail Time, Torture, Cannibalism?

The One Where: Wednesday accuses her crush of working with Xavier and Kinbott.

Paring: Wednesday Addams x Hyde!Reader

A/n: Reader is similar to Jackson Jekyll/Holt Hyde from Monster High… You’ll see… Also gender neutral pronouns because duh, I went a little overboard with this so prepare to be reading this for the next hour

xXx

You laughed shoving Xavier as you both walked to his shed. He opened the door letting you in first both of you talking off your jackets.

“Where do we start?” You asked as he turned on the light. Xavier watched as you jumped in fright putting a hand to your chest, sighed heavily as he turned around seeing Wednesday sat across the shed.

“Okay you know what, you need to say out of my space” Xavier said.

“Y/n’s here” Wednesday said.

“I invited them, they’re my best friend and you know they also do art” Xavier defended.

“Good thing they’re here though, you should take your own advice” Wednesday said getting up stabbing a knife into a stool. “You left that in my room” Wednesday said standing in front of Xavier, “Actually you left it in Thing” She stated before looking over at you. “How long have you two been seeing Kinbott?” She asked

“Have you-” Xavier cut himself off sighing.

“You’ve been spying on us, haven’t you” You sigh heavily rolling your eyes. Xavier grabs the knife with another sigh as he plays with it.

“Guess we’re still the villains in your fantasy” He says before explaining, “My father thinks that my mental health is a PR problem that he needs to manage, wanted to keep his troubled son out of the tabloids” He says handing you the knife as he sits on the same stool Wednesday stabbed.

“Weems thinks that due to my little arson problem, therapy is the best way to cope with my issues. Along with playing with Fire I’m obviously pretty hot headed” You said tossing the knife in the air catching it by the handle. “I only started seeing the therapist this semester, last year I had accidentally set field on fire after getting into a fight with one of Enid’s brothers. I just finished the fight with a little flame to his ass” You said pulling your sleeve up a little flame lighting in your hand. “We weren’t in your room” You stated firmly.

“Believe us or don’t believe us, we don’t care” Xavier finished. Wednesday eyes the covered painting next to you walking over it to making you step aside.

“Your paintings have been improving, I enjoy this one in particular” She said taking the fabric off the painting of Kinbott. “Feels like you really loved it”

“He had a-” Xavier held out a hand cutting you off.

“What do you want?” Xavier asked.

“I’m asking the questions” Wednesday stated as she shoved past you reaching into a basket she pulls out an inhaler. “What’s Rowan’s inhaler doing in your shed?” She asked. You and Xavier held looks of genuine confusion as she pulled out more items. “Or Eugene’s glasses-” Xavier tried to stop her but she cut him off “Or these stalker images you took of me” She looked back you for that one since you were the school photographer. Xavier tried to cut her off but Wednesday continued. “Don’t forget your latest edition,” She said pulling out a jar holding up a necklace. “Kinbott's necklace” She said.

“Somebody planted that stuff!” Xavier yells as the door behind you opens an officer coming in.

“Freeze!” He yells. “Drop the knife we got everything we need” Sheriff Galpin yells causing you to drop the knife and both you and Xavier raise your hands. “Cuff him”

The sheriff starts to put handcuffs on you as he stated the Miranda right. Both you and Xavier argue that the two of you had been framed.

“Y/n run” Xavier says firmly to you.

“This is racism i'm calling it right now it’s cause I’m a Hyde isn’t it” You argue against Galpin.

"It's exactly that" Wednesday and Galpin state.

“Y/n!”

“Not without you Xay!”

“Y/n!” Xavier gives you a stern look as you both are stood up. You sigh heavily setting your arms on fire. Galpin backs away patting away the flames on his jacket allowing you to jump over your cuffed arms and run.

“I have a Fire Hyde on the loose they’re going north into the woods” Galpin says into his walkie. “I appreciate the help Addams”

“You framed us, we’re being set up” Xavier tells the girl. “I should’ve let Rowan kill you, Y/n will get away and prove our innocence, I can’t believe they ever liked you” Xavier states before being walked out of his shed.

xxx

You spent the night in Crackstone’s Crypt. Officers were hot on your trail so you knew you couldn’t stay there long. You silently closed the door to the crypt making your way behind it where you jumped and threw a fist that Wednesday easily dodged. You took a deep breath before glaring at her.

“What do you want, turning me into the cops?” You asked.

“I know you’re innocent” Wednesday said.

“Oh now you do, after you framed Xay and I and had him arrested” You argue. “I don’t even wanna look at you right now Wens, I can’t believe I-” Wednesday shuts you up by grabbing both your arms pulling you towards her before kissing you. You stood there in shock like a deer in headlights before processing what had happened and kissing her back. When you pulled away your hands were loosely on the back of her neck while hers dropped from your shoulders. “I’m listening” You said.

“Tyler kissed me, I had a vision, he’s the Hyde,”

“Hold up you thought I was that type of Hyde? That’s racist man it’s cause of my last name isn’t it?” You argue

“I may or may not have taken an educated guess due to your bloodline relation to Jekyll” Wednesday said earning herself a flick on the forehead.

“So what you thought Xavier and I were Hydes” You asked.

“And Kinbott was your master. But when you told me you’d only been seeing her this semester it made sense to me that if you were a Hyde she would’ve needed more than one session a week to find out and become your master” Wednesday said.

“I am a Hyde, just not the one you think I am” You explained moving your hands down to her waist pulling her closer. “I’m a Hyde on my mother’s side, But not the Hyde that Tyler is, our abilities have been diluted over generations due to other outcasts we’ve fallen in love with. Ranging from Werewolves, to Sirens, and Elementals. My mother was a water Hyde on her mothers side and a shape shifter on her fathers side. So my mother could control water and shift into a kraken-hyde hybrid. I inherited my great grandfather’s Fire Hyde and my father’s werewolf abilities, so along with control fire, I can shift into a hellhyde. My family of Hyde’s we can control our abilities and have no masters. Tyler is an entire different case, I'm assuming he comes from a bloodline of pure Hydes” You explained to her.

“I apologize for making assumptions about you and Xavier” She said.

“You’re lucky I like you” You playfully glare at her.

“I like you too”

“Obviously not because you kissed Tyler” You turned your back pettily enjoying the banter of her needing you.

“Y/n, please. Tyler’s the Hyde and I need your help, we can prove both yours and Xavier’s innocence” She said. You sigh heavily looking down at your clothes.

“Fine, but I need a new wardrobe, mines kind of,” You pulled the back of your shirt showing her the burn pieces along with the sleeves and top of your jeans.

“I can sneak you into the school” She said.

As promised her and Bianca and snuck you into Bianca’s dorm where Ajax had your clothes neatly folded on her bed. Yoko, Divina and Kent sat on Divina’s bed Enid sitting on Bianca's. You quickly got changed in front of them before sitting in Bianca’s bed with her and Enid at your sides.

“What’s the plan?” You asked.

xxx

You had a small flame at Tyler’s feet causing him to wake up in a panic. Once he calmed down and he got a look around he came face to face with Wednesday who had Yoko, Kent, and Divna right behind him. Ajax was leaning against a work table and Bianca stood next to Tyler while you sat on the floor in front of him slightly leaning back against Wednesday.

“Welcome back” Wednesday glared at him with a hand on your shoulder.

“Where the hell am I?” Tyler asked tugging on the chains.

“Somewhere where no one can hear your screams”

“What’s with the chains?”

“Don’t ask stupid questions” Wednesday raised her head at him.

“Wednesday this is crazy I’m a normie” Tyler tells her.

“That’s only half true” You said getting up grabbing a picture off the table next to you handing it to Wednesday. She grabs the picture holding it up to Tyler pointing at the woman on the far right of the photograph.

“Do you recognize her?” Wednesday asked. “Perhaps if I hadn’t been so distracted by my own mother hogging this photo I would have noticed yours” She stated, “Your father fell in love and married an outcast”

“Fine, my mom was an outcast, that doesn’t make me a monster” Tyler argues.

“According to her personal medical records-” Wednesday said as you handed her the file.

“You stole her medical records?”

“Technically Thing did, he took them from your garage, your father’s quite the pack rat” Wednesday said opening the folder. “Her postpartum depression triggered her condition”

“My mom had severe bipolar disorder”

“We both know that’s a lie, she was a Hyde” Wednesday spits. “And your father has been living his life in dread, never quite sure whether or not she passed her condition on to you”

“Are you all gonna stand there and let her do this to me?” Tyler asked in panic.

“I’m a wanted convict and my best friend is rotting in jail right now because of you” You spat at him holding a flame up to his face.

“Uh guys, Enid just texted, Thornhill’s suspicious” Ajax said. Wednesday grabbed your wrist causing the flame to go away as she held your hand. “How long until he morphs into that… thing?” Ajax asks.

“I’m not the monster” Tyler said his voice quivering. You lose your senses for a moment almost feeling bad for the kid.

“Wen, maybe he doesn’t know. Didn’t that Faulkner die trying to figure out if Hyde’s knew of their actions or not when they transformed” You hesitated looking over at her.

“He is, I saw it in a vision at the Weathervane” Wednesday let go of your hand taking out a kit filled with tools.

“Wait You’re basing all this off some vision you had after we kissed?” Everyone took notice of how you tensed up when he mentioned the kiss your hands and arms turning red. “Is that something you can trust?”

“I changed my mind, let’s kill him” You said holding flame next to his face making him scream. Bianca grabbed your wrist as she looked over at Wednesday who pulled out a saw.

“Wednesday what are you doing?” Bianca said shoving your wrist away while Ajax pulled you away from Tyler trying to calm you down.

“Just some light torture, don’t let Y/n try anything, I don’t want to leave a mark” Wednesday said pulling out more tools.

“Wednesday hold on” Bianca tried to reason.

“Wait are you being serious?” Ajax asked causing Wednesday to pivot and face him.

“There’s only one thing that a Hyde understands,” She slams down the tool she has pulling a taser from her back pocket, “Pain” she stated tasing the side of Tyler’s neck.

“Wait no Wednesday” Everyone yells.

“Wednesday!” Bianca yelled pulling Wednesday’s arm way from Tyler’s neck.

“That’s it, I’m out” Yoko states before walking out.

“Us too” Divina says leaving with Kent.

“No” Ajax starts to back up”

“Wait” Bianca begs.

“No, I’m done” Ajax raised his arms letting go of you as he leaves.

“Wednesday, I didn’t sign up for this, let’s go to Weems, explain everything” Bianca says.

“Weems won’t help, and Tyler is always one step ahead of his father” Wednesday said pulling out another taser.

“Then You’re on your own” She says before looking back at you.

“I’m already a wanted criminal, I have nothing else to lose” You said. Bianca nods before leaving

“No, don’t leave me here with them, please! I’m begging you please!” Tyler begs as he starts breathing heavily.

You sat back anger building up as Wednesday tried torture methods and didn’t leave marks trying to get Tyler to turn or at least admit he was a Hyde.

“What is Kinbott, or should I say Laurel Gates, using in you for?” Wednesday asked.

“You sure it’s the therapist? I mean,” You shrugged getting off the workbench you sat on. “She’s dead babe” You gesture to Xavier’s painting.

“She’s a therapist and she’s been seeing him. She’s the only one that makes sense as to the person to unlocking Tyler’s Hyde abilities” Wednesday said.

“Okay sorry love, be my guest” You leaned back against the bench smirking at light blush forming on Wednesday’s face due to the nickname.

“Tyler, the body parts in the basement of the Gates mansion, what was she collection them for?” Wednesday asks.

“I don’t understand why are you doing this?” Tyler asked. Sirens start to go off making you panic as Wednesday grabs a mallet.

“Wens” You start to say as you see the lights of the car.

“Let’s test your reflexes” She threatened.

“I’m in here!” Tyler yells.

“Get away from my son! Drop it!” Sheriff Galpin yells helping a gun up to Wednesday. “I have the Fire Hyde!” Galpin yells.

“Y/n run” Wednesday says. Before you could set your arms ablaze another officer came behind Galpin holding a fire extinguisher up to you. You made a run for the back door where another officer had a gun up to you.

Wednesday attempts to throw the mallet at the officer allowing you to run only for the Sheriff to shoot your shoulder and the other officer to spray you down just as you started to ignite making Tyler scream at the close proximity.

“Fuck” You sigh heavily as you dropped to your knees.

xxx

You sat in the cell with Xavier. You wore fireproof gloves that had you chained against the wall. Xavier walked around grunting where the chain against his waist prevented him from walking farther.

“Xavier, Y/n, I’m not sure how much time we have, Thing distracted them guards and is looping the cameras” Wednesday said.

“Wens, what are you doing here?” You asked getting up going toward the bars. Grunting in pain as your arms got pulled back.

“How’s your shoulder?” Wednesday asked.

“They took out the bullet and patched me up but not doing so hot” You explained gesturing towards your fireproof clothes. Wednesday nods turning her attention to Xavier.

“I know you’re not the Hyde, Tyler used me to frame you, he’s the actual Hyde” Wednesday said.

“Yeah we’ll Y/n filled me in on that part, I’m glad you were getting some action while we were falsely accused” Xavier said pettily.

“I should’ve believed you, But since you seem to have some sort of psychic connection to the Hyde I was curious if you’ve drawn anything recently that might shed some light on this” Wednesday said.

“You want my help?” Xavier cuts her off. He dryly chuckled leaning forward “You ruined my life” Xavier tells her. “No, I tried being your friend, look where that got me” Xavier says, “Y/n caught feels for you and even after you framed us, they tried helping you and look where that got them” Xavier points to you as you lay down on the the bed an arm covering your face.

“This isn’t about us, Xavier-”

“No it’s about you! Every-time you get involved people get hurt, you’re toxic. All you ever do is make things worse” Xavier yells at her. Wednesday got quiet before pulling out a taped up painting.

“Tyler warned me something bad was coming. I think-“

“No you’ve already shown me that- I don’t care” Xavier says. “If you want to stop this, then leave” He says. “Go far away and never come back, do you understand? That can’t happen if you’re not here, that’s how you save everyone, okay?”

“Everyone but us” you said dryly sitting up on the bed.

Xavier yells at Wednesday to leave one more time before she actually goes.

“Wens” You called out stopping her at the door.

“Tell Thing I’ll miss ‘em” You said. Wednesday knew what you meant by that. She gives you a ghost of a smile before leaving.

“Why?” Xavier asks.

“She tried to save me, I know Wednesday can be pretty cold hearted but she grew up not knowing better. She’s the black sheep in a family of black sheep. I think Nevermore gave her a bit of a heart though, she apologized” You explained.

“I don’t know what you see in her” Xavier shook his head sitting down next to you.

“Didn’t you have a crush on her- her first week here?” You retaliate.

“Anyways where were we?” Xavier quickly changed the topic going back to your rock, paper, scissors war.

Sheriff Galpin came to collect the two of you to transfer you guys to the court house jail cells.

"You got them Sheriff?" One of the officers asked as he shoved you into the car.

"Yeah, I got the fire hydrant in the front" Galpin says. You scoff rolling your eyes as the doors shut and Galpin starts driving. You and Xavier struggle against the cuffs chaining you to the cage separating you from the Sheriff.

Not too long into the drive Galpin's phone starts going off causing him to tell you and Xay to shut up. "Santiago what's up" He says.

"Sir, we got a situation, Eugene Ottinger's mom just called, frantic. Something's going on at Nevermore" She says over the phone.

"Get a couple of cars over there ASAP"

"That's just it I can't, the tires on the squad cars have been slashed, every damn one" Santiago says

"Alright I'm on the way" Galpin says, turning on the sirens and drifting the car causing you and Xavier to crash into each other.

"Warning would've been nice Sheriff" You grunted shoving Xay off you. "I think I'm getting motion sickness" You press your head against the metal cage and Galpin starts driving into the woods behind Nevermore before parking the car.

"Why're we stopping in the middle of the woods?" Xavier asked as you both look over at his phone.

"You tracking your little monster?" You ask.

"You two shut it" The Sheriff says as he gets out the car.

"Hey wait- wait wait, what about us!?" Xavier yells as the car door closes.

"Oh you asshole" You glare at the Sheriff as he runs into the woods. Both you and Tyler struggle against the cuffs before he yells in frustration. You hear thumping and pattering on the roof of the car before looking at the back window.

"Thing I love you!" You smile as the hand lets you two out of the car. He unlocks you first allowing you to take off the gloves and melt off Xavier's chains. You both scramble out of the car where Thing gestures to the bag on the roof of the car. You and Xavier split the clothes in bag. There was a third set of clothes in there making you look down at Thing before nodding.

"You head to the school, I'm gonna go after Tyler" You said slipping the shirt over your head.

"What are you gonna do?" Xavier asked.

"Something I haven't done in a long time" You said glancing up at the blood moon. "I'm gonna hyde out"

xxx

The gunshot is what caught your attention. You followed it seeing Tyler in his Hyde form.

"Tyler son, is that really you?" Galpin asked. Tyler roars as he targets his own father.

"Sheriff run!" You yell dropping the bag. The Sheriff watches as you run past him jumping at Tyler your body quickly catching fire as you grew three sizes tackling Tyler with ease. Galpin watched as you had the Hyde pinned down with your claws. Your form mimicked one of a hellhound only with more Hyde like features, you walked on all fours but had the same buggy eyes and claws like Tyler with the absence of a tail.

Tyler kicked you off at him making you scream as you land on your bad shoulder, but the moment he got up he got knocked down by a blonde werewolf with pink and blue highlights. You chuckle recognizing the Enid had finally wolfed out.

Before the Sheriff could get any closer you breathed a ring of fire around the three of you preventing Tyler from getting out. You barked once catching Enid's attention She stood next to you the two of you allowing Tyler a moment to get up. He slowly did as the two of you to circle him. Tyler took a moment to process the situation before deciding to attack Enid first. You quickly got on his back your claws digging and burning prints onto his shoulders and hips as you bit into his shoulder causing him to roar and let go of Enid. You leaned back tossing him into the air as Enid tackled him into the ground again. You grabbed him by his legs tossing him once more Enid kicking him out of the ring of fire into a tree causing it to break in half as he finally laid on the ground in defeat slowly shifting out of his Hyde form.

Nodding in satisfaction you ran your claw across the ring of fire taking it out as Enid slowly turned back into herself. Thing came helping her ease herself as you caught sight of her pink jacket grabbing it in your mouth and taking it to her.

"Y/n?" She asked taking the jacket covering herself up. You nodded your head lying on the ground next to her.

"Good to see you wolfed out too, in whatever this weird form it" She smiles petting your snout. You grab the bag of clothes you had dropped handing it to her. She nodded her head before you ran off towards the school. You mounted the walls jumping from rooftop to rooftop before making it to the quad.

You found Crackstone pinning Wednesday against a wooden panel.

"I will send you back to hell" He says. You screech catching his attention before jumping off the rooftop tackling him to the ground. You have him pinned until he uses his magic staff to send you flying into the burning fountain. You whimper in pain as a tree branch stabs itself deeper into your injured shoulder.

You watch as Bianca walks up to him from behind and before he can lay his hands on Wednesday again she stabs a metal rod through his chest. He shoves her away with his staff causing you to get up and before you could do anything Wednesday stabs the sharp end of a broken sword into his heart. You watch as she shoves him away and from the wound he starts to disappear in a haze of black smoke.

To make the process faster and ease your anger issues and appetite though, Wednesday and Bianca watch as your swallow the vengeful spirit in a few bites. When you burp up his ring a powerful wave causes all the fire to disappear. Wednesday and Bianca watch as you spit out some ashes and cinder. Looking down at the ring the two girls nod at each other realizing the job was done. Wednesday comes to your side careful of the flames coming from you as she pets your head just as you hear a gun cock.

"You brought a gun to a sword fight, probably the first smart decision you've made today" Wednesday says.

"I might not get to kill all the outcasts, but at least I'll get to kill you, Wednesday" You limp in front of Wednesday protectively ready to take a bullet from her until you see a bee land on top of Thornhill's gun. More and more bees start to come making Thornhill shoot at them. The three of you to slowly back away and look around in confusion. Wednesday watches as you sniff the air before looking back and seeing Eugene his arms out controlling the bees attacking the woman.

"Yeah that's what you get for messing with Nevermore. Bitch" Eugene says before looking at Wednesday who was staring at him in shock. "Hummers stick together, right?" Wednesday lets out the smallest of smiles before glaring back at Thornhill.

"I'll take it from here" She says with a murderous look.

"Maybe we should call the Sheriff" Eugene suggested.

"Turn around Eugene" Wednesday says. You grab Bianca by her hoodie pulling her next to Eugene making both of them turn around as you all face away from Wednesday.

"No witnesses, I get it" Bianca says.

"Y/n, is that you?" Eugene asked looking up at you. You nod your head at him before hacking up to more ash and cinder.

"You just had to eat him" Bianca scolds. You cackle was answer enough that you didn't regret it, the hour long heartburn and indigestion was worth it.

"They ate someone? Isn't that cannibalism?" Eugene asked. Both you and Bianca shrug as the three of you turn around after Wednesday had joined you.

"Lets go" She states before walking away.

The three of you join the mass of students that Bianca and the other sirens had led out of the school. Enid watches the three silhouettes of people followed by your hellhyde form. Enid runs towards wednesday quickly followed by Xavier, Yoko, Divina, Kent, and Ajax then the rest of the students.

Enid doesn't hesitate to embrace Wednesday who quickly pushes her off before taking a moment and hugging the blonde werewolf bundled up in her pink jacket. You smile sitting on the ground Xavier walking up to you as the Sirens walk up to Bianca.

"You did good" Xavier smiles patting your back.

"She ate a man" Eugene said in fright.

"I'm not surprised" Xavier says causing Enid to laugh as her and Wednesday pull away. Ajax and Yoko join the group the boy handing you the bag of clothes. The group block you as you shift out of your form quickly putting on the pants and hoodie in the bag grunting in pain at your injured shoulder.

"Y/n-" Before Wednesday could say anything you pulled her into you crashing your lips into hers. The others watch in shock as she reciprocates the act of affection one arm going to your waist the other to the back of your neck.

"Never again, am I letting you go out of my sight, you fucking troublemaker" You say pressing your forehead against hers. Wednesday smiles at you leaning back.

"I'm okay with that" She says. The group backs away when you start coughing up more ash and cinder and this time a buckle coming with it.

"Was it worth it at least?" Xavier asked.

"Totally"

xxx

You and Xavier leaned against the railing watching as Wednesday makes her way up to the two of you. You wrap an arm around her, the injured one in a sling, as she looks up at Xavier.

"I hear you're a free man now" She says.

"Yup, all charges dismissed" Xavier smiles.

"Kind of hard to keep us locked up when the Sheriff watched his own son shift out of his Hyde form and Enid and I saved his ass from said son" You smile squeezing the girl under your arm.

Xavier pulls a box out of the pocket of his coat Wednesday's eyes glancing from it then back up to Xay.

"Listen, when I was in the cell, I said a lot of... things" Xavier starts.

"Being your friend should come with a warning label" You add making Wednesday look up at you.

"But I don't know a lot of people who would help my best friend run from the cops much less take an arrow for me. So..." Xavier hands Wednesday the gift.

"Welcome to the 21st century Addams" Xavier and you say in unison as you let go of Wednesday standing next to him. She opens the box revealing the Iphone inside.

"Our numbers are in there already" You said.

"That's a bold move," She says looking up at you both. "I hope you're not expecting me to call you" She says.

"No, never," Xavier chuckles "I'd settle for a text though" he says before looking over at you, Wednesday's gaze following.

"If you don't answer my facetime calls I'll eat your entire family, starting with Thing" You smile. The look Wednesday gives caused you and Xavier to look at eachother "You know what texting and facetiming are right?" You tease causing her to glare at you both playfully.

"Goodbye Xavier, Y/n come" Wednesday said as she leaves. You smile goofily waving to your best friend as you follow her.

"Hey are you going to be back next semester?" Xavier asked. Wednesday didn't answer causing you and Xavier to share a look as you shrug. "Yes- no- maybe?"

"I'll make sure of it" You call out making him laugh as you followed the girl outside where Enid and Bianca were waiting. You help her set up Enid and Bianca's contact in her phone the two girls promising to send her the contacts of the rest of the friend group before walking her to her car.

"I talked to my old man, I'm gonna head over to Xavier's for a few weeks but once you send me the address I have full permission to come see you" You said.

"If you don't I'll hunt you down" Wednesday said as Lurch got out of the car opening the door for her.

"I don't doubt it, my evil queen" You smile.

"Thank you, for everything" Wednesday avoid eye contact with you making you chuckle putting a hand to her cheek making her look at you.

"I'll see you in a few weeks my love" You smile cheekily. Wednesday glances up at Lurch who it very clearly looking away. She quickly pecks your lips before backing away from you.

"I'll see you then, pet" She as a smirk as she says that.

"I'll wear that nickname with pride you beautiful walking zombie" You chuckle watching as she climbs into the car Lurch closing the door. The tall undead man looks down at you giving you a nod of approval before getting into the car and driving off. You glance down at your phone seeing you already had a message from Wednesday.

Evil Queen: I know how to text

Wednesday cant help the smile as she watches you from the rearview mirror, fist pump the air and showing Enid the text before replying.

Pet: I miss you already 🖤

Evil Queen: I miss you too 🖤

[vampireimiko]

Hi!!(⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠) May I request a Holt Hyde/Jackson

Holt Hyde x Fem!reader soulmate AU, the reader is a new student at Monster High, she's

✨D-R-O-P, D-E-A-D, G-O-R-G-E-O-U-S✨

She literally turns heads, cause of how pretty she is. She's the new student but suddenly she actually finds her soulmate.

Can it be a oneshot please? If you want it to be a headcannon, thats fine as well!

Hi !! Unfortunately I don't do Soulmate AU's or any AU's for that matter ⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙ I can still write this exact request, it just won't be a Soulmate AU. So please do let me know if you still want this written ^_^

[totallyexhausted]

I’m thinking of getting back into writing FF:

- Perhaps a Brooklyn Nine-nine adoption FF with teenage Jake and Kevin/ Holt. Jake sick; K/H caring!dads. Flashbacks.

- Perhaps an FF from Schitt’s Creek with Patrick/ David. Patrick sick (omg, that dentist episode, and Patrick/ David both get high); David caring.

- South Park FF with teenage Creek (Craig/ Tweek). Craig sick; Tweek caring.

- Camp Camp FF with teenage Max adopted by Gwen and David. Max sick; G/D caring. Flashbacks

- Stranger Things FF with Jonathan sick; Set after season 1 or 2. Flashbacks.

- Stranger Things FF with Eddie sick- need to rewatch :/ Perhaps Steve/ Eddie. idk. 

- Modern Family FF with Luke sick (What the hell, just throwing it out there) 

- Rick & Morty FF with Morty sick; Rick caring- Morty aged to late teens, flashbacks, stranded. 

- Ouran Host Club FF with Karou sick; Hikaru/ Tamaki caring. 

- That 70′s Show FF with Hyde sick after moving in with Eric/ his parents; flashbacks. 

- 

I know I’m a little late on these sickfic/ hurt/ comfort FF ideas, but I just found the motivation to finish these series so that’s kind of big for me lol. I’ll just keep adding to this randomly... 

[faggotry-fandom-fanfic]

Masterlist

A

Arcana

Julian

Lucio

Muriel

B

Beetlejuice (Musical)

Beetlejuice

C

Chronicles of Narnia (Movies)

Prince Caspian

Edmund

Peter

D

Dead Poets Society

John Keating

Deadpool

Deadpool

G

Good Omens

Aziraphale

Crowley

The Great Mouse Detective

Basil

Ratigan

M

The Magnus Archives

Elias Bouchard

Gerard Keay

Jonathan Sims

Jonah Magnus

Martin Blackwood

Michael Shelley

Michael Distortion

Peter Lucas

Timothy Stoker

MCU

Bruce Banner

Clint Barton

Loki

Scott Lang

Steve Rogers

Thor

Tony Stark

Monster High

Clawd Wolf

Deuce Gorgon

Jackson Jekyll/Holt Hyde

Kieran Valentine

Gender bent ghouls <3

S

Sherlock Holmes (RDJ)

John Watson

Sherlock Holmes

Sherlock Holmes (books)

John Watson

Sherlock Holmes

Spider-Man: Universe

Hobie Brown

Peter B Parker

Peter Parker - Spider-Man Noir

V

Venom

Eddie Brock+Venom (I can’t separate them so every Eddie request is automatically poly :3 )

Feel free to send an ask or DM me if you don't see a character/fandom you like and think I might enjoy writing for - it's very possible that I forgot about tons of characters and fandoms!!

[clonesome]

This has to be one of my favorite little details on these two !

[strangestcase]

once I finally fucking finish my dumb holt headcanon sheet, it’s cute frackson/holtie time and you KNOW IT

[serendipityunho]

𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐙 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧

↳ 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐡 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬

𝐇𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐣𝐨𝐨𝐧𝐠: 

Holt Hyde

loves music

they have the offstage normie personalities and then the onstage demons

lets be honest, hongjoong with tattoos is fucken hot

𝐒𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐡𝐰𝐚: 

Ghoulia Yelps

is done with every single person around them

takes matters into their own hands when necessary 

silently j u d g i n g you

𝐘𝐮𝐧𝐡𝐨: 

Cleo De Nile

BAD B I T C H E S 

highclass queens who deserve the world and have people kissing their feet

look at their boyfriend and they won’t hesitate to snap a bitch in half 

𝐘𝐞𝐨𝐬𝐚𝐧𝐠: 

Draculaura 

cute birth marks on their left eye

they may be small but they’re fierce

don’t fuck with them unless you want their friends to jump you

𝐒𝐚𝐧: 

Frankie Stein

they have this energy around them that’s electrifying and you’d want to stay around them for it

they may be nice, but they’re scary when it comes down to drama

friends with everyone because they’re the nicest little beans

𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐢: 

Deuce Gorgan

here for a good time not a long time

their piercing gazes would have you shaking in your seat and possibly kill you

loyal to their one and only queen so do not interact unless you want an early invitation to your own funeral 

𝐖𝐨𝐨𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐠: 

Lagoona Blue

very passionate about their hobbies

supportive mate that motivates you to achieve your goals

they protecc, but they also attacc so don’t mess with them

𝐉𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐡𝐨:

Clawdeen Wolf

very protective of their friends

L O Y A L 

the one everyone is scared of because they can bend a bitch with a blink of an eye

[nooowestayandgetcaught]

I have my 2016 version and my 2017 version and my 2018 version!

Tagging @ everybody who sees this post and wants to do this! <3

AO3 Stats!

(How to find your stats: go to your Dashboard, click on “Statistics,” then click on the year you’re answering for!)

Total 2019 Word Count: 474461 Total 2019 Hits: 476491 Total Kudos: 33356 Total Bookmarks: 4892 Total Comment (threads): 2719 User Subscriptions: 558

Links and Titles to 2019 Works:

JANUARY

Never Let This Go (T, Wolfgang Bogdanow/Kala Dandekar/Rajan Rasal, 1004 words)

The Kissing Booth (T, Ash Lynx/Okumura Eiji, 1951 words)

Take Care (M, Riza Hawkeye/Roy Mustang, 1199 words)

We’re Gonna Be Alright (No Rating, Keith/Shiro, 1340 words)

Come Home (T,  Ash Lynx/Okumura Eiji, 1431 words)

Meant To Be (No Rating, Allura/Lotor, 100 words)

Palpitations (T, Keith/Hunk, 1730 words)

For All To Witness (No Rating, Ash Lynx/Okumyra Eiji, 1017 words)

Out Of Rhythm (G, Lance/Pidge, 1459 words)

Cozy Up (E, Keith/Lance, 870 words)

Better Than You (M, Shorter Wong/Lee Yut-Lung, 431 words)

The Truth Of It (T, Cheryl Blossom/Toni Topaz, 880 words)

Staying, Not Vanishing (T, Ash Lynx/Okumura Eiji, 732 words)

Devotion (T, Callum/Soren, Claudia & Soren, Callum & Ezran, 1402 words)

Free To Be You And Me (E, Lance/Shiro, 635 words)

So Stay Awake And I’ll Stay (G, Narumiya Minato/Takigawa Masaki, 775 words)

Stay Here Forever (M, Nanase Haruka/Tachibana Makoto, 537 words)

FEBRUARY

comes and goes in waves (M, Starfire/Raven, 298 words)

never need a reason (E, Thirteenth Doctor/Yasmin Khan, 483 words)

all wrapped up in you (No Rating, Clarke Griffin/Lexa, Clarke Griffin & Madi, 563 words)

brown-eyed girl (G, Kara Danvers/Nia Nal, 525 words)

with your hand in mine (T, Claudia/Rayla, 904 words)

like a sky full of darkness (T, Karolina Dean/Nico Minoru, 398 words)

bedlam and broken things (M, Cheryl Blossom/Toni Topaz, 298 words)

hold our breath forever (G, Michelle Jones/Shuri, 749 words)

that needful kind of burn (E, Kawakami Tomie/Chie, 300 words)

upon a threshold’s whim (M, Maddie Bishop/Ryn, Ben Pownall/Ryn/Maddie Bishop, 695 words)

no more longing than right here (T, Tabitha Galavan/Barbara Kean, 652 words)

feel good, feel great (T, Kali Prasad/Nancy Wheeler, 100 words)

every day beautiful (G, Matsuoka Gou/Mikoshiba Isuzu, 340 words)

Wisps of a Bright, Sweet Dream (M, Ash Lynx/Okumura Eiji, 1842 words)

perfectly you for me (M, Mila Babicheva/Sara Crispino, 719 words)

clear a crowded mind (T, Fujioka Haruhi/Kasugazaki Kanako, 571 words)

tension and thrill (No Rating, Earth-2 Laurel Lance/Caitlin Snow, 475 words)

that in which we trust (G, Queen Annika/Queen Neha, 464 words)

Love Never Fails Us (T, Allura/Romelle, Allura/Pidge | Katie Holt, Allura/Pidge | Katie Holt/Romelle, 2288 words)

pulled away from shore (T, Freya/Sophia, 120 words)

words cannot express (M, Ash Lynx/Okumura Eiji, 14-year-old Ash Lynx's Female Crush/Ash Lynx, 502 words)

to let yourself be seen, even deeply known (No Rating, Myrcella Baratheon/Arya Stark, 336 words)

vigilant heart in the dark (G, Sakura | Tsubasa/Princess Tomoyo | Tsubasa, 100 words)

promises unbroken (M, Pamela Isley/Harleen Quinzel, 413 words)

Let Your Guard Down (T, Jeremiah Valeska/Bruce Wayne, 511 words)

a million charming words (T, "Hyde" Evil Queen/"Jekyll" Regina Mills, 200 words)

the complexity of our love (No Rating, Princess Bubblegum/Marceline, 484 words)

i see you when i reach (E, Misty Day/Cordelia Foxx | Cordelia Goode, 369 words)

weaving like a thread within each other, faithfully (T, Korra/Asami Sato, 863 words)

contagiously bright (G, Cho Chang/Luna Lovegood, 567 words)

we rise and fall (M, Aurora/Belle, 610 words)

MARCH

It's Better When Equal (No Rating, Ben Pownall/Ryn/Maddie Bishop, 754 words)

Catastrophe (No Rating, Jeremiah Valeska/Bruce Wayne, 1238 words)

Anew (T, Ben Hargreeves/Klaus Hargreeves, 200 words)

Life (G, Aaravos, 100 words)

Against All Odds (No Rating, Clarke Griffin/Lexa, 757 words)

Colourful (E, Timothée Chalamet/Armie Hammer, 300 words)

Invigorating (G, Fred Andrews & Jughead Jones, Archie Andrews/Jughead Jones, Fred Andrews/FP Jones II, 200 words)

Shower (G, Luka & Romelle, Luka & Romelle & Allura, 100 words)

Floral (T, Ecco/Ivy Pepper, 200 words)

Hatching (G, Peggy Carter/Angie Martinelli, 200 words)

Pastel (M, Burt Chund/Stu Maxsome, 300 words)

Wouldn't You Love To Love Her (T, Allison Hargreeves/Vanya Hargreeves, 959 words)

Lamb (G, Eleanor "Nell" Crain & Luke Crain, 100 words)

Blossoming (T, Mike Hanlon/Eddie Kaspbrak, 300 words)

Not So Terrible (No Rating, Ben Hargreeves/Klaus Hargreeves, 1501 words)

Teeming (G, Jaime Lannister & Bran Stark, 300 words)

Sunlit (No Rating, Captain Flint, 100 words)

The Room (E, Hunk/Lance/Pidge | Katie Holt, Keith/Shiro, 2410 words)

Sleep It Off, Darling (M, Klaus Hargreeves & Everyone, 1454 words)

Rejuvenation (M, Shadow Moon/Mr. Wednesday, 200 words)

Nest (T, Lucy Westenra, Lucy Westenra's Mother, Arthur Holmwood, 100 words)

Remember To Forget (No Rating, Klaus Hargreeves/Original Male Character(s), Klaus Hargreeves & Everyone, Reginald Hargreeves & The Hargreeves, Klaus Hargreeves & Reginald Hargreeves, 1536 words)

Sparkling (T, Carol Danvers/Maria Rambeau, 300 words)

Chirping (G, Baelfire | Neal Cassidy/Captain Hook | Killian Jones, 100 words)

On Your Lips (T, Number Five | The Boy/Vanya Hargreeves, 1107 words)

Energetic (M, Hernando Fuentes/Lito Rodriguez/Daniela Velasquez, 200 words)

Sunshine (No Rating, The Crossroads Pretty Boy/Ryuusuke, 100 words)

Closer To The Edge (E, Ben Hargreeves/Klaus Hargreeves, 863 words)

Budding (T, Sara Crispino/Muramoto Satsuki, 300 words)

Vibrant (T, John Winchester/Mary Winchester, 200 words)

Alive In This Moment (No Rating, Diego Hargreeves & Grace Hargreeves, 793 words)

Growth (G, Padmé Amidala & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, 100 words)

Verdant (G, Marnie/Sasaki Anna, 200 words)

Meet You There (M, Allison Hargreeves/Vanya Hargreeves/Diego Hargreeves, 829 words)

Crisp (G, Maxine "Max" Mayfield/Lucas Sinclair, 100 words)

With Eyes Wide Open (T, Number Five | The Boy & Klaus Hargreeves, 521 words)

Inspire (E, Will Graham/Margot Verger, Will Graham/Hannibal Lecter, Alana Bloom/Margot Verger, 300 words)

Prosperity (T, Barbara Gordon, 100 words)

Birds (G, Jack Sparrow/Elizabeth Swann/Will Turner, 200 words)

Deep Down Inside (T, Vanya Hargreeves & Everyone, Number Five | The Boy/Allison/Ben/Diego/Klaus/Luther/Vanya, 2043 words)

Sprouting (M, Connor MacManus/Murphy MacManus, 100 words)

Do Not Disturb (T, Number Five | The Boy/Vanya Hargreeves/Dolores, Dolores/Number Five | The Boy, Number Five | The Boy/Vanya Hargreeves, Vanya Hargreeves/Dolores, 899 words)

Warmth (G, Billy Cranston/Kimberly Hart/Tommy Oliver/Jason Lee Scott/Zack Taylor/Trini, 200 words)

Unpredictable (T, Jane Lane/Daria Morgendorffer, 100 words)

Every Time You Come Around (E, Ben Hargreeves/Klaus Hargreeves, 1285 words)

Nature (No Rating, Stefan Butler/Colin Ritman, 200 words)

APRIL

Prom Night (G, Allison Hargreeves/Vanya Hargreeves, 100 words)

Enchanted (No Rating, A Yoga Ball that is One of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse in Disguise, 100 words)

Sympathy (T, Number Five | The Boy & Allison Hargreeves, Number Five | The Boy & Klaus Hargreeves, Number Five | The Boy & Everyone, 772 words)

By The Skin Of Your Teeth (M, Klaus Hargreeves/Other(s), 1089 words)

Can't Sleep (E, Number Five | The Boy/Allison/Ben/Diego/Klaus/Luther/Vanya, Diego Hargreeves/Klaus Hargreeves, Diego Hargreeves/Vanya Hargreeves, 1141 words)

Let My Demons Take The Wheel (E, Allison Hargreeves/Luther Hargreeves, Ben Hargreeves/Klaus Hargreeves, 892 words)

Easing The Frustration (E, Number Five | The Boy/Klaus Hargreeves, 966 words)

Sweeter Than Sugar (T, Allison Hargreeves/Vanya Hargreeves, 912 words)

Lonely With You (No Rating, Jojen Reed/Bran Stark, 356 words)

It's Gonna Be A Good Life (G, Luther Hargreeves & Everyone, Number Five | The Boy & Allison & Ben & Diego & Klaus & Luther & Vanya, 359 words)

it's been a while (T, Arya Stark/Gendry Waters, 200 words)

never say never (G, Tormund Giantsbane/Brienne of Tarth, 200 words)

Erotic Distraction (E, Klaus Hargreeves/Original Female Character(s), 546 words)

rapture (T, Jon Snow/Sansa Stark, 100 words)

hold your head up high (No Rating, Jon Snow & Arya Stark, 300 words)

cold as the unforgiving sea (M, Arya Stark/Gendry Waters, 500 words)

Nothing Of The Heart Remains (T, Ben Hargreeves/Klaus Hargreeves, 1025 words)

their coats of white all turned to red (T, Sansa Stark/Daenerys Targaryen, 200 words)

training hours (No Rating, Arya Stark/Gendry Waters, 500 words)

suddenly (E, Jon Snow/Sansa Stark, 100 words)

no pretty flowers for me (E, Arya Stark/Gendry Waters, 300 words)

entertainment (M, Tormund Giantsbane/Jaime Lannister/Brienne of Tarth, 500 words)

never let us go (T, Arya Stark/Gendry Waters, 500 words)

look after you (T, Arya Stark & Sansa Stark, Podrick Payne/Sansa Stark, 300 words)

hanging on (T, Jojen Reed/Bran Stark, Jon Snow & Bran Stark, Bran Stark & Daenerys Targaryen, 400 words)

the mother's mercy (M, Ashara Dayne/Original Female Character(s), 500 words)

never ever again (G, Meera Reed/Bran Stark, 100 words)

nightslayer (No Rating, Arya Stark & Bran Stark, 200 words)

fire in our hearts (T, Melisandre of Asshai/Daenerys Targaryen, 300 words)

all we have together (T, Tyrion Lannister/Sansa Stark, 400 words)

MAY

alive and well (No Rating, Jon Snow & Sansa Stark & Daenerys Targaryen & Arya Stark & Bran Stark, 400 words)

such a pretty thing (M, Yara Greyjoy/Daenerys Targaryen, 500 words)

the place where we began (G, Talisa Maegyr/Robb Stark, Bran Stark & Arya Stark & Jon Snow & Sansa Stark, 400 words)

unexpectedly (No Rating, Sandor Clegane/Sansa Stark, Arya Stark/Gendry Waters, 400 words)

mended heart (No Rating, Jon Snow & Sansa Stark & Theon Greyjoy, Theon Greyjoy & Sansa Stark, Theon Greyjoy/Sansa Stark, 200 words)

congratulations (M, Arya Stark/Gendry Waters, Arya Stark & Bran Stark, Sansa Stark & Gendry Waters, 1700 words)

fire and blood (No Rating, Arya Stark/Gendry Waters, 500 words)

well met (T, Theon Greyjoy/Robb Stark, Theon Greyjoy & Robb Stark, 300 words)

redemption (T, Arya Stark/Gendry Waters, Nymeria (ASoIaF) & Arya Stark, Nymeria (ASoIaF) & Gendry Waters, 500 words)

without a thought (E, Tormund Giantsbane/Jon Snow, 500 words)

don't leave (T, Arya Stark/Gendry Waters, 300 words)

easy as possible (G, Grey Worm/Missandei, 200 words)

everglow (E, Jorah Mormont/Jon Snow/Daenerys Targaryen, 300 words)

we belong together (G, Arya Stark/Gendry Waters, 200 words)

this too shall last (No Rating, Jon Snow & Lyanna Stark, Lyanna Stark & Ned Stark, Jon Snow & Ned Stark, 200 words)

yesterdays to forget (M, Podrick Payne/Gendry Waters, 500 words)

listen to your instincts (M, Arya Stark/Gendry Waters, 500 words)

never stopped loving you (No Rating, Jaime Lannister/Brienne of Tarth, 200 words)

black irises & wine (T, Arya Stark & Daenerys Targaryen, 400 words)

one day (M, Jon Snow/Sansa Stark, 100 words)

unmade (G, Yara Greyjoy/Daenerys Targaryen, 200 words)

every step i ran to you (M, Theon Greyjoy/Sansa Stark, 100 words)

heaven sent (G, Gilly (ASoIaF)/Samwell Tarly, 300 words)

strong enough to hold (No Rating, Podrick Payne/Sansa Stark, 500 words)

and i am still breathing (T, Tormund Giantsbane/Jon Snow, Arya Stark/Gendry Waters, Jon Snow & Arya Stark, 300 words)

holy ground (E, Sandor Clegane/Sansa Stark, 200 words)

connected (T, Jon Snow & Bran Stark, 300 words)

our hearts buried deep (T, Arya Stark/Gendry Waters, 500 words)

appreciate every moment (No Rating, Tormund Giantsbane/Jon Snow, 400 words)

the old ways (No Rating, Daenerys Targaryen & Drogon (ASoIaF) & People of Asshai (ASoIaF), 300 words)

a lifetime ago (G, Podrick Payne/Sansa Stark, 200 words)

one, two, three (G, Jon Snow & Arya Stark & Bran Stark & Rickon Stark & Robb Stark & Sansa Stark, 500 words)

mesmerizing, hypnotizing (M, Quentyn Martell/Robin Arryn, 500 words)

in between (T, Jon Snow & Bran Stark, 400 words)

softly it goes (G, Jorah Mormont/Daenerys Targaryen, Drogon & Daenerys Targaryen, Drogon & Jorah Mormont, 100 words)

right where you want me (M, Arya Stark/Gendry Waters, 400 words)

midnight, somewhere (No Rating, Tyrion Lannister & Bran Stark, Jojen Reed/Bran Stark, 500 words)

small matters (M, Yara Greyjoy/Daenerys Targaryen, 300 words)

that's my girl (T, Sandor Clegane & Arya Stark, 300 words)

wistful (T, Ros/Shae, 300 words)

dwaal (No Rating, Davos Seaworth & Lyanna Mormont, 100 words)

our beginning (G, Missandei/Daenerys Targaryen, 200 words)

carry yourself forward (E, Arya Stark/Gendry Waters, Arya Stark/Other(s), 500 words)

fortune be (M, Jaime Lannister/Sansa Stark, 300 words)

be as steady as she needs (G, Meera Reed/Bran Stark, 100 words)

time heals all (G, Catelyn Stark/Ned Stark, 400 words)

arrival (T, Arya Stark/Gendry Waters, 500 words)

it will be better soon (No Rating, Tyrion Lannister & Sansa Stark, 200 words)

JUNE

all that is left of us (G, Lyanna Mormont & Maege Mormont & House Mormont Character(s) & Northerner(s), 200 words)

Cusp (E, Captain Flint | James McGraw/Thomas Hamilton, 411 words)

dissonance and innocent surrender (M, Podrick Payne/Sansa Stark, 500 words)

Everyone Should (M, Anne Lister/Ann Walker, 367 words)

be brave (T, Rhaegal & Jon Snow, 300 words)

only with careful hands (E, Arya Stark/Gendry Waters, 500 words)

Summer's Bounty (No Rating, Korra/Asami Sato, 557 words)

never to be, never to grow (E, Theon Greyjoy/Yara Greyjoy, 400 words)

Unveil (M, Bill Denbrough/Beverly Marsh, Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, 354 words)

let me down slowly (T, Jon Snow & Arya Stark, Jon Snow & Daenerys Targaryen, 500 words)

Escaping This (M, Capheus/Kala/Lito/Nomi/Riley/Sun/Will/Wolfgang, 294 words)

The Good Dirt (No Rating, Aziraphale/Crowley, 747 words)

laid bare in euphoria (T, Podrick Payne/Gendry Waters, 400 words)

Powerless (No Rating, Archie Andrews/Betty Cooper/Veronica Lodge/Jughead Jones, 656 words)

where it may lead (M, Joanna Lannister/Rhaella Targaryen, 300 words)

Soul Full (E, Castiel/Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester, 853 words)

healing hands (G, Jon Snow & Catelyn Stark, Catelyn Stark & Robb Stark, Jon Snow & Robb Stark, 200 words)

Sweet Breezes (E, Katsuki Yuuri/Lee Seung Gil/Sara Crispino, 853 words)

goes on and on (M, Cersei Lannister/Jaime Lannister, 300 words)

Dappled Light (No Rating, Eddie Brock/Venom Symbiote, 548 words)

time needed (T, Myrcella Baratheon/Margaery Tyrell, 500 words)

Collect (M, Maddie Bishop/Ben Pownall/Ryn, 620 words)

Tight-Knit (E, Keith/Shiro, 630 words)

Seven (No Rating, Michelle Jones/Peter Parker, 751 words)

A List (M, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor, 1000 words)

Relations (E, Teddy Lupin/James Sirius Potter, 874 words)

Fortitude (No Rating, Mulan/Shang, 550 words)

Past | Present (M, Fujioka Haruhi/Houshakuji Renge, Fujioka Haruhi & Suoh Tamaki, Fujioka Haruhi & The Ouran High School Host Club, Fujioka Haruhi & Fujioka Ryouji | Ranka, 652 words)

Twisted (E, Sebastian/Ciel, 908 words)

Bright (E, C.C./Suzaku/Lelouch, 420 words)

Do What You Want (M, Thirteenth Doctor/Yasmin Khan, 992 words)

Essence of Summer (No Rating, Elizabeth/Darcy, 373 words)

Reflect (M, Jessica Jones/Patricia Walker, 974 words)

Clarity (E, Kaiou Michiru/Tenoh Haruka, Tenoh Haruka/Undisclosed, 231 words)

Know Joy (Clarke/Lexa, Clarke/Bellamy, No Rating, 680 words)

Come Together (M, Klaus Hargreeves/Dave, 100 words)

Cleanse (No Rating, Jonathan Byers/Steve Harrington/Kali Prasad/Nancy Wheeler, 600 words)

On The Line (E, Matsuoka Rin/Yamazaki Sousuke, 462 words)

Old School (No Rating, Rue Bennett/Jules Vaughn, 399 words)

Hope for Adventure (E, Pamela Isley/Other(s), 557 words)

JULY

My Cup... (M, Merlin/Arthur Pendragon, 402 words)

bright, so bright for you (G, Eleven | Jane Hopper/Mike Wheeler, 351 words)

slowdown (T, Will Byers & Eleven | Jane Hopper, Joyce Byers & Eleven | Jane Hopper, Jonathan Byers & Joyce Byers & Will Byers, Eleven | Jane Hopper & Jim "Chief" Hopper, 511 words)

homesick (G, Eleven | Jane Hopper/Maxine "Max" Mayfield, 417 words)

maxed out (No Rating, Maxine "Max" Mayfield/Lucas Sinclair, 462 words)

late night thoughts (M, Steve Harrington & RobinJonathan Byers/Steve Harrington/Nancy Wheeler, 535 words)

patience (G, Eleven | Jane Hopper/Mike Wheeler, 483 words)

hold on (No Rating, Will Byers & Eleven | Jane Hopper, Joyce Byers & Will Byers, 562 words)

days belonging to us (T, Will Byers/Mike Wheeler, 479 words)

wild eyes (G, Steve Harrington & Robin, Kali Prasad/Robin, 519 words)

back to the start (No Rating, Eleven | Jane Hopper/Mike Wheeler, 497 words)

i'm here (T, Will Byers/Mike Wheeler, 446 words)

little big things (G, Joyce Byers & Eleven | Jane Hopper, 415 words)

hallowed path (No Rating, Eleven | Jane Hopper & Kali Prasad, 538 words)

vibin' out (T, Dustin Henderson & Steve Harrington & Robin Buckley, Steve Harrington & Dustin Henderson, Robin Buckley & Steve Harrington, Robin Buckley & Dustin Henderson, Jonathan Byers/Steve Harrington/Nancy Wheeler, Robin Buckley/Kali Prasad, 586 words)

elsewhere (T, Will Byers & Eleven | Jane Hopper & Maxine "Max" Mayfield, 578 words)

weekend dreaming (G, Maxine "Max" Mayfield/Lucas Sinclair, 259 words)

moments (T, Kali Prasad & Kali Prasad's Family, Martin Brenner & Kali Prasad, 205 words)

sleepless lights (M, Steve Harrington/Nancy Wheeler, 478 words)

ambrosia (No Rating, Robin Buckley/Kali Prasad, 444 words)

no goodbyes (T, Eleven | Jane Hopper/Mike Wheeler, 547 words)

nowhere else beside you (E, Jonathan Byers/Steve Harrington/Nancy Wheeler, 522 words)

Blue and Black (E, Spider Dominatrix/Temptingly Tasty Client, Original Female Character/Original Male Character, Original Female Character/Original Female Character, 750 words)

distant (T, Will Byers & Eleven | Jane Hopper, 597 words)

till there was you (G, Eleven | Jane Hopper/Maxine "Max" Mayfield, 368 words)

stay here with me (No Rating, Will Byers/Mike Wheeler, 599 words)

the steps only club (G, Robin Buckley & Will Byers, 567 words)

Abyssinia (E, 1930s Male Pansy Club Performer/Male Mobster Who Protects the Joint, Original Male Character/Original Male Character, 743 words)

[evielynsmonstereverafterblog]

Monster High Character Theme Songs;

1. Frankie Stein - Electricity by Ashley Jana

2. Draculaura - Best Friend's Brother by Victoria Justice

3. Clawdeen Wolf - She-Wolf by Shakira

4. Cleo de Nile - Stranger by Hilary Duff

5. Nefera de Nile - Sexy Naughty Bitchy Me by Tata Young

6. Spectra Vondergeist - Tell Me Something I Don't Know by Selena Gomez & The Scene

7. Howleen Wolf - Popular (from Wicked) by Kristen Chenoweth

8. Clawd Wolf - Dynamite by Taio Cruz

9. Deuce Gorgon - All-Star by Smash Mouth

10. Scarah Screams - Wide Awake by Katy Perry

11. Jackson Jekyll - Problem by Becky G

12. Holt Hyde - Fire Burning by Sean Kingston

13. Gillington "Gil" Webber - Drowning by the Backstreet Boys

14. Lagoona Blue - Queen Of The Waves by Barbie

15. Lorna McNessie - Brave by Sara Bareilles

16. Kiyomi Haunterly - Clarity by Zedd

17. Porter Geiss - Turn Down For What by DJ Snake feat; Lil Jon

18. River Styxx - Party Poison by My Chemical Romance

19. Sirena Von Boo - Daydreamin' by Ariana Grande

20. Jinafire Long - Gold by Britt Nicole

21. Heath Burns - Burnin' Up by the Jonas Brothers

22. C.A. Cupid - Love You Like A Love Song by Selena Gomez & The Scene

23. Operetta Phantom - Bad Reputation by Joan Jett & the Blackhearts

24. Twyla Boogie - Heart Attack by Demi Lovato

25. Skelita Calaveras - Hips Don't Lie by Shakira feat; Wyclef Jean

26. Rochelle Goyle - Love Me Like You Do by Ellie Goulding

27. Abby Bominable - Hot n Cold by Katy Perry

28. Toralei Stripe - Va Va Voom by Nicki Minaj

29. Vandala Doubloons - Hurricane by Bridgit Mendler

30. Robecca Steam - Titanium by Sia

31. Ivana Sukurblud (OC) - Zombie by The Cranberries

32. Gigi Grant - Genie In A Bottle by Christina Aguilera

33. Whisp Grant - Dark Side by Kelly Clarkson

34. Catty Noir - Ordinary Girl by Clique Girlz

35. Ghoulia Yelps - Game Over by Alexa Vega

36. Meowlody and Purrsephone - Cheetah Sisters by the The Cheetah Girls

37. Gooliope Jellington - All About That Bass by Meghan Trainor

38. Amanita Nightshade - #Selfie by The Chain Smokers

309. Astranova - E.T. (Kanye West; Unedited Version) by Katy Perry feat; Kanye West

40. Elle Eedee - Lights (Dubstep remix) by Ellie Goulding

41. Catrine Demew - Worth It by Fifth Harmony feat; Kid Ink

42. Bonita Femur - Wings by Little Mix

43. Clawdia Wolf - Dear Future Husband by Meghan Trainor

44. Elissabat - Fancy by Iggy Azalea

45. Honey Swamp - Almost There by Anika Noni Rose

46. Jane Boolittle - Roar by Katy Perry

47. Desiryee Grimm (OC) - Find Yourself In You by Everlife

48. Marisol Coxi - Shoot The Moon by Clique Girlz

49. Slow Moe - Slow Down (Chew Fu remix) by Selena Gomez

50. Viperine - Shake It Off by Taylor Swift

51. Venus McFlytrap - Part Of Me by Katy Perry

52. Wydowna Spider - Black Widow by Rita Ora feat; Iggy Azalea

53. Mousecedes King - Turn Me On by Nicki Minaj

54. Madison Fear - Afraid by Vanessa Hudgens

55. Luna Mothews - Butterfly Kisses by Westlife

56. Iris Clops - One Last Time (Piano Version) by Ariana Grande

57. Invisi Billy - Ghost by Mystery Skulls

58. Gilda Goldstag - What Makes You Beautiful by One Direction

59. Casta Fierce - Trap of Love by the New Hex Girls

60. Avea Trotter - Falling Over Me by Demi Lovato

61. Garrott DuRoque - Happy by Pharrell Williams

62. Neighthan Rot - It Will Rain by Bruno Mars

63. Stefani Clawston (OC) - Monster by Lady Gaga

64. Ariana Screech (OC) - Love Me Harder by Ariana Grande feat; The Weeknd

65. Liliana Screams (OC) - Freak The Freak Out by Victoria Justice

66. Cana Bullah (OC) - Cannibal by Ke$ha

67. Harry Bile (OC) - Save You Tonight by One Direction

68. Teila Stiff (OC) - Style by Taylor Swift

69. Icktoria Muskice (OC) - Beggin' On Your Knees by Victoria Justice

70. Cringett Deadler (OC) - Forgot To Laugh by Bridgit Mendler

71. Deadgan Fainter (OC) - Lips Are Movin' by Meghan Trainor

72. Dewley Bondkinston (OC) - Illusion by One Direction

73. Pain Pailstick (OC) - Where Do Broken Hearts Go by One Direction

74. Vile Bo Ren (OC) - Steal My Girl by One Direction

75. Beim Pang (OC) - Half A Heart by One Direction

76. Deadman Bofine (OC) - Animals by Maroon 5

77. Scatty Ferry (OC) - Firework by Katy Perry

78. Stealthy Faust (OC) - Back In Black by AC/DC

79. K.C. Hunt (OC) - Teenagers by My Chemical Romance

80. Lucy Superstitious (OC) - Livin' La Vida Loca by Ricky Martin

81. Serena Rottenberg (OC) - Can't Blame A Girl For Trying by Sabrina Carpenter

82. Kieran Valentine - Break Your Heart by Taio Cruz

83. Johnny Spirit - Devil Went Down To Georgia by The Charlie Daniels Band

84. Victor "Sparky" Frankenstein - This Song Is A Curse by Frank Iero

85. Gory Fangtell - The Middle Of Starting Over by Sabrina Carpenter

86. Manny Taur - Can't Hold Us by Macklemore & Ryan Lewis

87. HooDude Voodoo - Voodoo by Godsmack

88. Destiny Spook (O.C.) - That's What You Get by Paramore

89. Desiree Grimm (O.C.) - Let The Flames Begin by Paramore

90. Dallas Evil (O.C.) - Immortals by Fall Out Boy

91. Ishtar de Nile (O.C.) - Dark Horse by Katy Perry feat; Juicy J

92. Diana Catastrophe (O.C.) - Something's Gotta Give by All Time Low

93. Seth "Pharaoh" Ptolemy - Not Afraid by Eminem

94. Kjertsi Trollson - The Game is Over by *Nsync

95. Frets Quartzmane - Nightmare by Miley Cyrus

96. Finnegan Wake - Surfin' USA by the Beach Boys

97. Alana Bloodfierce (O.C.) - Perfect by Simple Plan

98. Adella Bloodrage (O.C.) - Nobody's Home by Avril Lavigne

99. Sofia Sharpeye (O.C.) - Damaged by Danity Kane

100. Aery Evenfall - Skyfall by Adele

101. Fawntine Fallowheart - A Forest by The Cure

102. Penepole Steamtail - Steam Machine by Daft Punk

103. Pyxis Prepstockings - Claire De Lune by Claude Debussy

104. Skyra Bouncegait - Fight Song by Rachel Platten

105. Bay Tidechaser - Kokomo by The Beach Boys

106. Isi Dawndancer - Only You by Yazoo

107. Batsy Claro - Supersonic by Oasis

108. Ari Hauntington - Ghost by Ella Henderson

109. Moanica D'Kay - Zombie by Bad Wolves

**The ones that say "(O.C.)" in both my Ever After High character theme song list as well as on the Monster High Character Theme song list are characters made by me or someone that I know and those songs were specifically picked for them. So please don't change the songs of any of the O.C.s

Thank You

[psychnerd47]

Monster College Part 2

Rating: G, warnings none. 

Characters: Jackson Jekyll/ Holt Hyde, Invisi-Billy, Deuce Gorgon,  Frankie Stein, and Operetta

Invisi-Billy pulled out his phone, and started to call Abbey.

“Um, hey Abbey, it’s Billy.”

“Why are you calling so early in the morning?” the abominable snowwoman asked abruptly.

“Heath, has an 8:00 class, but he is still asleep, I was wondering if I should awaken him?”

  “You are not his mother, but if you think it’s a good idea?” Abbey added.

 The disappearing boy walked over to Heath’s bed and gave him a slight shove. But Invisi-Billy soon realized that really didn’t think this through, as all of a sudden Heath jolted awake with a head full of fire, triggering the sprinkler in their bedroom. Billy pushed his now soaked, blue-black hair out of his face, he didn’t have time to change he was now going to have to meet Scarah all soaked. Heath sat up, totally unfazed by the large amount of water in the room.

“Oh, look at the time,” Heath said as he jumped out of bed, “I need to get to class”.

 In the meanwhile Holt ran down the hall towards Jackson and Deuce’s room. “I just need to grab my swimsuit, Holt’s headed to the pool!” the blue skinned monster announced. But since subtlety was not one of Holt’s greater talents, as he crashed the door open he awoke Deuce. Deuce who was actually a morning monster, immediately knew what to do after he saw Holt’s presence.   “Hold it there dude,” Deuce called out, “Jackson, has to get to class.” The gorgon boy grabbed Jackson’s headphones and put them on the head of the blue-skinned monster. Instantly turning him back into, nerdy human boy Jackson.

Jackson started to freak out, “Why am I only in a towel? Where are my clothes? I need to get to class.”

 “It’s ok dude, Holt showed up, probably while you were showering.” Deuce said calmly, “I’ll go get your stuff for you and then you can go to class, might save you some embarrassment,” Deuce said in a supportive voice.

“Thanks,” said Jackson sheepishly.

    Invisi-Billy made finally made it to the dying-hall, to meet Scarah. The Banshee girl was sitting at a table waiting for her disappearing boyfriend. “Are you alright?” she asked when she saw how soaked Billy was.

 “Heath had an accident this morning, and he set off the fire sprinkler,” Billy explained.

 “You poor dear,” Scarah said. Since Scarah was telepathic Billy always had to tell the truth, even if it was embarrassing.

       After Jackson got his backpack and clothes back, he started to run to get to class. He didn’t have time to grab breakfast so he just grabbed a Zombie Energy drink, since he didn’t want to fall asleep in class. When Jackson made it to Coding 101 he spotted Ghoulia Yelps. She was a zombie, who also had a prefect GPA in high school and was even valedictorian for their class, so it was not surprising to see that she also bypassed Introduction to Coding. Jackson grabbed a seat next to her.

The coding teacher was a middle age cyborg who looked like he had been working with computers since they first came out. The class was going well until Mr. Cybernik decided to share his favorite music video about coding with the class. Jackson spent that time hiding under his desk with his hands over his ears. The coding class ended with Mr. Cybernik assigning a whole caskets worth of homework.

 Billy went to find his Monster Anatomy and Physiology class, he had written that it was in room 235 of the Stoker Building of Natural History and Science. The disappearing boy spotted room 235. When he walked in he spied some fellow students he recognized from high school: Jinafire Long, Skelita Calaveras, Rochelle Goyle, and Deuce’s mummy girlfriend Cleo de Nile. Invisi-Billy was so glad he would be in a class with people he knew. He found a seat next to Jinafire. “I didn’t realize you were all taking this class,” the invisible boy started, “but I’m greatful.”

The Chinese dragon girl just smiled awkwardly. A pompous looking gargoyle walked into the class room. She was large and wore an expensive looking pink dress. Billy was confused, she didn’t look like the teacher on the My Campus page for his class. He had been expecting a skinny, mad scientist with a long beard.

The gargoyle teacher had a list she was starting to call off for attendance, when she got to Billy she asked him who he was in a voice that sounded like she did not have time for any nonsense. “Um, Invisi-Billy Mann,” the disappearing boy answered.

 “You are not on my list, you are taking Introduction to Monstropolgy aren’t you?” the instructor asked.

 “No,” Billy answered, “I’m supposed to be taking Monster Anatomy and Physiology.”

The gargoyle instructor rolled her eyes, “You supposed to be in room 235 ‘B’, this is room 235 ‘A’”.

Billy blushed, and then started to turn invisible from the embarrassment. The rest of the class watched as what appeared to be a hoodie, jeans, beanie and back pack walked out of the classroom.

Invisi-Billy quietly sneaked into the correct classroom. Luckily for him the professor Dr. Choppenguts had not begun to call attendance yet. The dark-blue haired boy spied Lagoona Blue and Gil Webber, and grabbed a chair next to the beautiful Australian sea monster girl. “Crikey, Billy. You were almost late for class, that is not like you at all,” Lagoona said.

Insvisi-Billy blushed again, “ I accidently went to the wrong class room,”

Gil laughed, “It’s ok, Billy that could happen to anyone. Yesterday I showed up to the wrong dormroom and I thought I was going to have to be roommates with Kieron Valentine instead of Clawd,” the river monster laughed.

Billy smiled, “I would never want to be roommates with Valentine, with his extra Southern Accent, and he’s so uptight you would think his underwear is three sizes too small.”

“That’s really funny,” Gil whisper laughed, “but you know who won’t be laughing? Johnny Spirit. Operetta says that he and Valentine were assigned to be roommates.”

 Johnny Spirit was a Rockabilly Greaser ghost, who played the fiddle and was Operetta’s boyfriend. Operetta was the sassy, high octane Rockabilly daughter of the Phantom of the Opera’s daughter.

Billy laughed again, but then turned to face Doctor Choppenguts who started his lecture about how even though how all monsters are very different, their bodies all function very similarly. Billy started to mentally drift off, he doodled in his notebook, maybe he shouldn’t have followed Mr. Rotter’s advice about being a doctor and followed his dream of being a stage tech.

Frankie Stien, the beautiful and sweet daughter of Frankenstein’s monster and his bride, invited Jackson to an early lunch with her at the campus Ick-Fil-A. Jackson still felt a little awkward with his relationship with Frankie because she had previously broken up with him, when his going back and forth between Jekyll and Hyde had gotten out of control, but he still harbored a crush on her, even if she just saw him as her best friend. “I actually kinda miss having my mom around,” Jackson admitted to Frankie, “she kept me company and helped me to remember the silliest little things I always forget such as clean underwear,” Jackson sighed.

Frankie put her hand on his shoulder, “It will be ok, at least you get to be roommates with two of your best friends. I’m sorry you are feeling discouraged by the ‘Holt’ episode this morning, but don’t give up yet.” The stitched together girl encouraged.  Jackson didn’t say anything a quietly sipped his soda, but the quietness was not going to last.

A lilac-colored skinned girl, with a bright red Victory Roll hair style waltzed over to the two of them, it was Operetta Phantom. “Hey, y’all,” she called out with her smooth, charming Southern accent, “Johnny and I are hosting a big ‘ol  rockin’ shindig tonight, we got permission to use the student union hall, which is just a floor above this here dying hall. So be there or be square,” she laughed.

“That sounds amazing,” Frankie said in awe, “what is going to happen at the party?”

 “Well,” the Rockabilly phantom answered,“ Johnny and I are going to play rockin’ live music for us all to dance too. I’ve even gotten Deuce to help me cook up some of my family’s dang famous gumbo recipe,” she turned to Jackson who looked super uncomfortable about going to a party with hot music, “you are going to come right?”

Jackson grew even more awkward, he jumped to his feet clumsily, “I just remembered,” he started awkwardly, “I really have to go to the bathroom.” suddenly the human boy shot out of the room.

*                       *                                   *

 Jackson sat on the floor of a bathroom stall crying and hoping no one would notice him. Why did people have to keep inviting him to parties, didn’t they understand that he couldn’t come.

From his hiding place Jackson heard someone else walk in, “Hey Jackson dude,”

Jackson recognized the voice to belong to Deuce, “are you alright? Frankie sent me to check on you. She’s concerned.” The Gorgon boy explained, “you need to come out. I know you have been having some setbacks with Holt. But you can’t keep avoiding everything,” Deuce continued, “you really need to get out more often. Frankie and I will look after you, even if you turn to Holt, we won’t let you get out of control,” the snake-haired boy assured his friend.

“Ok,” Jackson answered quietly as he started to leave the bathroom, he hoped that Deuce wouldn’t notice he had been crying.

 Meanwhile, Invisi-Billy sat alone in the dying hall with a very pathetic piece of cafeteria pizza, as he sat in his misery, a certain red-haired Rockabilly phantom waltzed up to him. “Why so glum sugar-plum? I bet ya haven’t heard about my party?”

Tags @queenofworry

[blipblorpsnork]

like god okay what a small detail like. okay so like shoves all my thoughts into a cup and shakes it til they meld properly OKAY. So like I’m super used to third wheeling, and not even in an explicitly bad way. I walk a bit slow, and when I’m out with friends and we’re window shopping and shit if it’s three of us it genuinely always ends up that I get left out of conversation because I wander and am a bit? Idk like, zoney? Like wispy, when I’m out window shopping, with or without friends, I’m not sure how to explain that.

oh my god this is three miles long so I’m putting it under a cut

Anyways the thing is, people always end up walking ahead of me; I always get pushed to the back (partly because I DON’T like people walking behind me in groups unless it’s in a structured line, it freaks me out) and like because of that, and because I’m very bad with social stuff sometimes I almost always get excluded from conversations. I don’t know how to add to them, and I don’t get addressed because I don’t participate, so eventually between the autism and the hearing issues I just tune people out because it makes more sense to do my own thing a lot of the time.

Last night we were wandering around Walmart, the three of us, just kinda browsing and window shopping because our Walmart is WEIRDLY nice, like it’s one of the best I’ve ever been in and we get loads of cool stuff none of our other friends do, including J despite the fact that he like, lives maybe a half hour to forty minutes out from us near Atlanta. Like it wasn’t anything special; just looking at stuff and making dumb remarks and like. Plastic Mermaid jokes tm lmfao.

J literally made sure I was included the entire time in a way that didn’t even feel like he was going out of his way to do it. Like, he kind of wandered between me and E, and talked with both of us, and when E was going off on one of his tangents to himself (something he does a lot, which we all acknowledge and unless he’s addressing us directly we’re free to listen or not, at his behest; it’s just a thing he does so we aren’t ignoring him by not interacting, just for reference’s sake) J would like, point something out and make a cheeky comment at me, or silently show me a thing that I could ogle or touch because it was soft and stuff like that. And like E wasn’t really paying attention but J and I kept making jokes about all the shoddy plastic mermaid stuff in the kids’ section and kept finding more and more stuff to make increasingly hilarious jokes about, to the point he was like “This is my new aesthetic now” and I was like “Time to delete your page and make a new one!” (He has like 60K + followers on Insta bc he does loads of emo mua stuff)

Like we had so many little inside jokes and he and I kept geeking out over the FNaF stuff together and like, even the little tacky ribbons and bows (like the genuinely ugly ones) in the girls’ clothing section and how even though it was awful we both liked it and like!! Ya know!! And like the entire time all THREE of us were included, but not all the time at the same time if that makes sense? Like we didn’t all have to always be engaged, but we were still all involved, and like we each had little dichotomies going on between us as pairs (me and J, me and E, them two), idk if I’m wording that right lmao. But it didn’t feel forced and it didn’t feel excluding! Which?!

I’ve never had that. Like he always makes me feel like I matter and am literally a part of the group, instead of an afterthought or a tag-a-lolng. And like he does it in a way that makes me know he’s making sure I know, but also does NOT feel like he’s going out of his way to do it. Like it feels super natural. God like it was such small, little things dude like?

And E isn’t into FNaF pretty much at all, but knows we both really are. So he’ll point stuff out to us because he knows how much we love it, but he can’t really engage in the freaking out lmfao. But J was like freaking out with me left and right over so much stuff like over watches and plushes and figurines and stuff (all in Walmart like damn, now that I’m breaking this down we really DO have a good fucking store lmao) and we like discussed lore and made jokes and like.

I HAVEN’T HAD THIS IN SO LONG OKAY????

And then like, so I work somewhere I get an employee discount, and then an additional clothing discount (even on clearanced stuff, which is FANTASTIC because that means if we have clearanced shirts I like, I can get brand new clothing on the super cheap which is something I very much so value as someone who lives well below the poverty line) and because of that I managed to get two FNaF snapbacks for just over 5 dollars after tax, or just under, idr precisely. But basically two LICENSED OFFICIAL SNAPS for 5 bucks. These are 20 dollar hats lmfao. And I gave one of them to J because that’s why I got two of them, yeah? And so like, he got this new hat a week or so ago that he’s OBSESSED with and he wears it everywhere right now, and of course he was wearing it when he got here. I gave him the snap and he IMMEDIATELY swapped out his bunny hat for the snap, and then wore it the literal rest of the night. (Also? It looked REALLY gd good over the red wig he was wearing, god damn that was a look.)

So many little things, you know?? Like so so many holy shit. I’M NOT DONE AAAA

So then like when we got back we decided to marathon Monster High because E and I have never seen it and J is completely in love with it and does loads of cosplays and makeup looks for it on his account right. We marathoned 2 full seasons of it last night, all three of us bundled on the couch in separate blanket piles. (It was actually really fucking funny looking tbh xD) And like I mentioned he could use the blanket I made if he wanted so he spent the rest of the night with it wrapped around his shoulders dragging it everywhere lmfao and then like he mentioned he was in a bundle up and cuddle something quiet kinda mood (all three of us were pretty low energy yesterday so it worked for the best, I feel) so I gave him Ace, who is my current comfort plushy I got recently (he’s a Squishmallow!!) and he spent HOURS just hugging and cuddling and idly playing with Ace and it was the cutest fucking thing oh my g o d.

And like so he and E are close. Dating. I hate it. I still love E. I don’t want to. It hurts. It. Really hurts. And I’ve never really talked about it because I don’t fucking want to, it REALLY hurts me. And every time E would get kinda tentatively snuggly with J (they’re very considerate of me and kind of not sure what they are, so it wasn’t malicious or anything, but it was painful) I would get kinda quiet and just make sure I was focusing on the show or my phone. But by the end of the night, E was laying half on J’s shoulder, and J was sitting cockeyed and leaning heavily into me in a way that didn’t mush my spine or hips (usually a big issue just because I’m fragile lmfao) and like I was casually in contact with him for the last couple hours he was here and just.

So many small things.

And like god fuck you can all ignore this jfc xD But!! So his favorite favorite character, like kin-level seriously-relate-to-him-so-much cosplay-him-on-the-regs character is Jackson. And he really loves Holt as well cause duh of course he does. And like!!! I relate to him so fucking MUCH. And I’ve only seen two seasons but I was internally freaking out because of the way Jackson is and like the music being the trigger for Holt Hyde because I’m extremely sound sensitive and like!!! AAAAAAAAAa new character attachment babey and he was like SUPER SUPER SUPER excited that we both loved MH as much as we did and that I was so IMMEDIATELY attached to Jackson and just.

Gaaaaaaaah. I just. I’m happy. I’m in trouble lmao but man. Right now,,, I’m just happy.

[recentnews18-blog]

New Post has been published on https://shovelnews.com/amy-schumer-postpones-tour-dates-after-posting-video-of-herself-throwing-up-on-instagram/

Amy Schumer postpones tour dates after posting video of herself throwing up on Instagram

Amy Schumer has postponed a set of stand-up tour dates after falling ill.

The comedian – who is currently pregnant – was scheduled to due to perform in Los Angeles, Baltimore and Philadelphia.

Schumer first posted a video of herself on Instagram throwing up into a cup, later explaining that the future shows would have to cancelled as she was “sick as hell”. 

“Los Angeles, Philly and Baltimore have been postponed. I wish I could be there and I’m going to come as soon as possible.

“I will post here and you will be informed by the venue about new dates as soon as we are ready to confirm them. Please contact the venue with any questions about refunds.

“I’m sick as hell and intend to rest until I’m really better.”

Schumer, 37, married celebrity chef Chris Fischer in February and revealed she was expecting in October. 

Alongside the video of herself throwing up, she wrote: “I love doing stand-up more than anything and I hate cancelling shows. I have to postpone some until I feel human again.”

Schumer then attacked a Republican politician who was voted to the US Senate earlier this week.

Cindy Hyde-Smith will be the first woman to represent Mississippi in Congress but her campaign was marred by controversy after she made comments about public hanging. 

leftCreated with Sketch. rightCreated with Sketch.

1/25 Bojack Horseman

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Netflix

2/25 Stranger Things

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Netflix

3/25 Daredevil

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Netflix

4/25 The Staircase

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Netflix

5/25 Dark

Stranger Things: the Euro-Gloom years. Netflix’s first German-language production is a pulp romp that thinks it’s a Wagner opera. In a remote town surrounded by a creepy forest locals fear the disappearance of a teenager may be linked to other missing persons cases from decades earlier. The timelines get twisted and it’s obvious that something wicked is emanating from a tunnel leading to a nearby nuclear power plant. Yet if the story sometimes trips itself up the Goonies-meets-Götterdämmerung ambiance keeps you hooked.

Netflix

6/25 A Series of Unfortunate Events

The wry and bleak Lemony Snickett children novels finally get the ghastly adaptation they deserve (let’s all pretend the dreadful 2004 Jim Carrey movie never happened). Neil Patrick Harris gobbles up the scenery as the vain and wicked Count Olaf, desperate to separate the Baudelaire orphans from their considerable inheritance. The look is Tim Burton by way of Wes Anderson, and the dark wit of the books is replicated perfectly (Snickett, aka Daniel Handler, is co-producer).

Netflix

7/25 Maniac

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Netflix

8/25 Better Call Saul

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AMC Studios/Netflix

9/25 Black Mirror

Don’t tell Channel 4 but Charlie Brooker’s dystopian anthology series has arguably got even better since making the jump from British terrestrial TV to the realm of megabucks American streaming. Bigger budgets have given creators Brooker and Annabel Jones license to let their imaginations off the leash – yielding unsurpassable episodes such as virtual reality love story “San Junipero” and Star Trek parody “USS Callister”, which has bagged a bunch of Emmys.

Netflix

10/25 Mindhunter

David Fincher produces this serial killer drama based on the writings of a real-life FBI psychological profiler. It’s the post-Watergate Seventies and two maverick G-Men (Jonathan Groff and Holt McCallany) are going out on a limb by utilising the latest psychological research to get inside the heads of a motley assembly of real-life sociopathic murders – including the notorious “Co-Ed” butcher Ed Kemper, brought chillingly to live in an Emmy-nominated performance by Cameron Britton.

Netflix

11/25 The Crown

A right royal blockbuster from dramatist Peter Morgan (The Queen, Frost / Nixon). Tracing the reign of Elizabeth II from her days as a wide-eyed young woman propelled to the throne after the surprise early death of her father, The Crown humanises the royals even as it paints their private lives as a bodice-ripping soap. Matt Smith is charmingly roguish as Prince Philip and Vanessa Kirby has ascended the Hollywood ranks on the back of her turn as the flawed yet sympathetic Princess Margaret. Most impressive of all, arguably, is Claire Foy, who plays the Queen as a shy woman thrust unwillingly into the spotlight. Foy and the rest of the principal cast have now departed, with a crew of older actors – headed by Olivia Colman and Tobias Menzies – taking over as the middle-aged Windsors for season three.

Netflix

12/25 Narcos

This drug trafficking caper spells out exactly what kind of series it is with an early scene in which two gangsters zip around a multi-level carpark on a motorbike firing a machine gun. Narcos, in other words, is for people who consider Pacino’s Scarface a touch too understated. Series one and two feature a mesmerising performance by Wagner Moura as Columbian cocaine kingpin Pablo Escobar, while season three focuses on the notorious Cali cartel. Reported to be one of Netflix’s biggest hits – the company doesn’t release audience figures – the fourth season turns its attention to Mexico’s interminable drugs wars.

Juan Pablo Gutierrez/Netflix

13/25 Master Of None

A cloud hangs over Aziz Ansari’s future after he was embroiled in the #MeToo scandal. But whatever happens, he has left us with a humane and riveting sitcom about an Ansari-proximate character looking for love and trying to establish himself professionally in contemporary New York.

K.C. Bailey / Netflix

14/25 Bloodline

One of Netflix’s early blockbusters, the sprawling soap opera updates Dallas to modern day southern Florida. Against the edge-of-civilisation backdrop of the Florida Keys, Kyle Chandler plays the local detective and favourite son of a well-to-do family. Their idyllic lives are thrown into chaos with the return of the clan’s black sheep (an unnervingly intense Ben Mendelsohn). The story is spectacularly hokey but searing performances by Chandler and Mendelsohn, and by Sissy Spacek and the late Sam Shepard as their imperious parents, make Bloodline compelling – a guilty pleasure that, actually, you shouldn’t feel all that guilty about.

Rod Millington/Netflix

15/25 The Alienist

You can almost smell the shoddy sanitation and horse-manure in this lavish murder-mystery set in 19th New York. We’re firmly in Martin Scorsese’s Gangs of New York territory, with a serial killer bumping off boy prostitutes across Manhattan. Enter pioneering criminal psychologist Dr Laszlo Kreisler (Daniel Brühl), aided by newspaper man John Moore (Luke Evans) and feisty lady detective Sara Howard (Dakota Fanning).

Kurt Iswarienko

16/25 Love

Judd Apatow bring his signature gross-out comedy to the small screen. Love, which Apatow produced, is a masterclass in restraint compared to 40 Year Old Virgin, Knocked Up etc. Paul Rust is Gus, a nerdish movie set tutor, whose develops a crush on Gillian Jacobs’s too-cool-for-school radio producer Mickey. Romance, of a sort, blossoms – but Love’s triumph is to acknowledge the complications of real life and to disabuse its characters of the idea that there’s such a thing as a straightforward happy ending. Hipster LA provides the bustling setting.

Netflix

17/25 Queer Eye

Who says reality TV has to be nasty and manipulative? This updating of the early 2000s hit Queer Eye for the Straight Guy has five stereotype-challenging gay men sharing lifestyle tips and fashion advice with an engaging cast of All American schlubs (the first two seasons are shot mostly in the state of Georgia). There are laughs – but serious moment too, such as when one of the crew refuses to enter a church because of the still unhealed scars of his strict Christian upbringing.

Netflix

18/25 Chef’s Table

A high-gloss revamping of the traditional TV food show. Each episode profiles a high wattage international chef; across its three seasons, the series has featured gastronomic superstars from the US, Argentina, India and Korea.

Charles Panian/Netflix

19/25 Arrested Development

A disastrous group interview in which actor Jason Bateman “mansplained” away the bullying co-star Jessica Walter had suffered at the hands of fellow cast-member Jeffrey Tambor meant season five of Arrested Development was fatally compromised before it even landed. Yet Netflix’s return to the dysfunctional world of the Bluth family stands on its merits and is a worthy addition to the surreal humour of seasons one through three (series four, which had to work around the busy schedules of the cast, is disposable by comparison).

Netflix

20/25 Altered Carbon

Netflix does Bladerunner with this sumptuous adaptation of the cult Richard Morgan novel. The setting is a neon-splashed cyberpunk future in which the super-wealthy live forever by uploading the consciousness into new “skins”. Enter rebel-turned-detective Takeshi Kovacs (Joel Kinnaman), hired to find out who killed a (since resurrected) zillionaire industrialist while dealing with fallout from his own troubled past. Rumoured to be one of Netflix’s most expensive projects yet, for its second run, Anthony Mackie (aka Marvel’s Falcon) replaced Kinnaman as the shape-shifting Kovacs.

Netflix

21/25 Rick and Morty

Dan Harmon, creator of cult sitcom Community (also on Netflix), finds the perfect outlet for zany fanboy imagination with this crazed animated comedy about a Marty McFly/Doc Brown-esque duo of time travellers. Every genre imaginable is parodied with the manic energy and zinging dialogue we have come to expect from Harmon.

Netflix/Adult Swim

22/25 GLOW

Mad Men’s Alison Brie is our entry point into this comedy-drama inspired by a real life all-female wrestling league in the Eighties. Ruth Wilder (Brie) is a down-on-her luck actor who, out of desperation, signs up a wrestling competition willed into being by Sam Sylvia (podcast king Marc Maron). Britrock singer Kate Nash is one of her her fellow troupe members: the larger than life Rhonda “Britannica” Richardson.

Netflix

23/25 Archer

Deadpan animated satire about an idiot super spy with shaken and stirred mother issues. One of the most ambitious modern comedies, animated or otherwise, Archer tries on different varieties of humour for size and even occasionally tugs at the heart strings.

24/25 Ozark

Breaking Bad for those with short attention spans. The saga of Walter White took years to track the iconic anti-hero’s rise from mild mannered everyman to dead-eyed criminal. Ozark gets there in the first half hour as nebbish Chicago accountant Marty Byrde (Jason Bateman) agrees to serve as lieutenant for the Mexican mob in the hillbilly heartlands of Ozark, Missouri (in return they thoughtfully spare his life). Bateman, usually seen in comedy roles, is a revelation as is Laura Linney as his nasty wife Wendy. There is also a break-out performance by Julia Garner playing the scion of a local redneck crime family.

Netflix

25/25 The Good Place

A heavenly comedy with a twist. Eleanor Shellstrop (Kristen Bell) is a cynical schlub waved through the Pearly Gates by mistake after dying in a bizarre supermarket accident. There she must remain above the suspicions of seemingly well-meaning but disorganised angel Michael (Ted Danson) whilst also negotiating fractious relationships with do-gooder Chidi (William Jackson Harper), spoiled princess Tahani (former T4 presenter Jameela Jamil) and ex-drug dealer Jason (Manny Jacinto).

Netflix

1/25 Bojack Horseman

A cartoon about a talking horse, starring the goofy older brother from Arrested Development… on paper little about BoJack Horseman screams “must watch”. Yet the series almost immediately transcended its format to deliver a moving and very funny rumination on depression and middle-age malaise. Will Arnett plays BoJack – one time star of Nineties hit sitcom Horsin’ Around – as a lost soul whose turbo-charged narcissism prevents him getting his life together. Almost as good are a support cast including Alison Brie (Glow, Mad Men), Aaron Paul, of Breaking Bad, and Amy Sedaris as a pampered Persian cat who is also BoJack’s agent. Season five touches the live rail of harassment in the movie industry, offering one of the most astute commentaries yet on the #MeToo movement with an episode based centred around an awards ceremony called “The Forgivies”.

Netflix

2/25 Stranger Things

A valentine to the Spielberg school of Eighties blockbuster, with Winona Ryder as a small town mom whose son is abducted by a transdimensional monster. ET, Goonies, Close Encounters, Alien and everything Stephen King wrote between 1975 and 1990 are all tossed into the blender by Millennial writer-creators the Duffer brothers. It was clear Stranger Things was going to be a mega-smash when Barb – the “best friend” character eaten in the second episode – went viral the weekend it dropped.

Netflix

3/25 Daredevil

Netflix’s Marvel shows tend towards the overlong and turgid. An exception is the high-kicking Daredevil, with Charlie Cox’s blind lawyer/crimefighter banishing all memory of Ben Affleck’s turn donning the red jumpsuit in 2003. With New York’s Hell’s Kitchen neighbourhood as backdrop, Daredevil is caked in street-level grit and features a searing series one performance by Vincent D’Onofrio as the villainous Kingpin. The perfect antidote to the deafening bombast of the big screen Marvel movies.

Netflix

4/25 The Staircase

Did he do it? Does it matter considering the lengths the Durham, North Carolina police seemingly went in order to stitch him up? Sitting through this twisting, turning documenting about the trial of Michael Peterson – charged with the murder in 2003 of his wife – the viewer may find themselves alternately empathising with and recoiling from the accused. It’s a feat of bravura factual filmmaking from French documentarian Jean-Xavier de Lestrade, which comes to Netflix with a recently shot three-part coda catching up with the (very weird) Peterson clan a decade on.

Netflix

5/25 Dark

Stranger Things: the Euro-Gloom years. Netflix’s first German-language production is a pulp romp that thinks it’s a Wagner opera. In a remote town surrounded by a creepy forest locals fear the disappearance of a teenager may be linked to other missing persons cases from decades earlier. The timelines get twisted and it’s obvious that something wicked is emanating from a tunnel leading to a nearby nuclear power plant. Yet if the story sometimes trips itself up the Goonies-meets-Götterdämmerung ambiance keeps you hooked.

Netflix

6/25 A Series of Unfortunate Events

The wry and bleak Lemony Snickett children novels finally get the ghastly adaptation they deserve (let’s all pretend the dreadful 2004 Jim Carrey movie never happened). Neil Patrick Harris gobbles up the scenery as the vain and wicked Count Olaf, desperate to separate the Baudelaire orphans from their considerable inheritance. The look is Tim Burton by way of Wes Anderson, and the dark wit of the books is replicated perfectly (Snickett, aka Daniel Handler, is co-producer).

Netflix

7/25 Maniac

If you’re curious as to how Cary Fukunaga will handle the Bond franchise, his limited series, starring Emma Stone and Jonah Hill, drops some delicious hints. It’s a mind-bending sci-fi story set in an alternative United States where computers still look like Commodore 64s and in which you pay for goods by having a “travel buddy” sit down and read you adverts. Stone and Hill are star-crossed outcasts participating in a drugs trial that catapults them into a series of trippy genre excursions – including an occult adventure and a Lord of the Rings-style fantasy. It is here that Fukunaga demonstrates his versatility, handling potentially hokey material smartly and respectfully. 007 fans can sleep easy.

Netflix

8/25 Better Call Saul

The Breaking Bad prequel is starting to outgrow the show that spawned it. Where Breaking Bad delivered a master-class in scorched earth storytelling Saul is gentler and more humane. Years before the rise of Walter White, the future meth overlord’s sleazy lawyer, Saul Goodman, is still plain old Jimmy McGill, a striving every-dude trying to catch a break. But how far will he go to make his name and escape the shadow of his superstar attorney brother Chuck (Michael McKean)?

AMC Studios/Netflix

9/25 Black Mirror

Don’t tell Channel 4 but Charlie Brooker’s dystopian anthology series has arguably got even better since making the jump from British terrestrial TV to the realm of megabucks American streaming. Bigger budgets have given creators Brooker and Annabel Jones license to let their imaginations off the leash – yielding unsurpassable episodes such as virtual reality love story “San Junipero” and Star Trek parody “USS Callister”, which has bagged a bunch of Emmys.

Netflix

10/25 Mindhunter

David Fincher produces this serial killer drama based on the writings of a real-life FBI psychological profiler. It’s the post-Watergate Seventies and two maverick G-Men (Jonathan Groff and Holt McCallany) are going out on a limb by utilising the latest psychological research to get inside the heads of a motley assembly of real-life sociopathic murders – including the notorious “Co-Ed” butcher Ed Kemper, brought chillingly to live in an Emmy-nominated performance by Cameron Britton.

Netflix

11/25 The Crown

A right royal blockbuster from dramatist Peter Morgan (The Queen, Frost / Nixon). Tracing the reign of Elizabeth II from her days as a wide-eyed young woman propelled to the throne after the surprise early death of her father, The Crown humanises the royals even as it paints their private lives as a bodice-ripping soap. Matt Smith is charmingly roguish as Prince Philip and Vanessa Kirby has ascended the Hollywood ranks on the back of her turn as the flawed yet sympathetic Princess Margaret. Most impressive of all, arguably, is Claire Foy, who plays the Queen as a shy woman thrust unwillingly into the spotlight. Foy and the rest of the principal cast have now departed, with a crew of older actors – headed by Olivia Colman and Tobias Menzies – taking over as the middle-aged Windsors for season three.

Netflix

12/25 Narcos

This drug trafficking caper spells out exactly what kind of series it is with an early scene in which two gangsters zip around a multi-level carpark on a motorbike firing a machine gun. Narcos, in other words, is for people who consider Pacino’s Scarface a touch too understated. Series one and two feature a mesmerising performance by Wagner Moura as Columbian cocaine kingpin Pablo Escobar, while season three focuses on the notorious Cali cartel. Reported to be one of Netflix’s biggest hits – the company doesn’t release audience figures – the fourth season turns its attention to Mexico’s interminable drugs wars.

Juan Pablo Gutierrez/Netflix

13/25 Master Of None

A cloud hangs over Aziz Ansari’s future after he was embroiled in the #MeToo scandal. But whatever happens, he has left us with a humane and riveting sitcom about an Ansari-proximate character looking for love and trying to establish himself professionally in contemporary New York.

K.C. Bailey / Netflix

14/25 Bloodline

One of Netflix’s early blockbusters, the sprawling soap opera updates Dallas to modern day southern Florida. Against the edge-of-civilisation backdrop of the Florida Keys, Kyle Chandler plays the local detective and favourite son of a well-to-do family. Their idyllic lives are thrown into chaos with the return of the clan’s black sheep (an unnervingly intense Ben Mendelsohn). The story is spectacularly hokey but searing performances by Chandler and Mendelsohn, and by Sissy Spacek and the late Sam Shepard as their imperious parents, make Bloodline compelling – a guilty pleasure that, actually, you shouldn’t feel all that guilty about.

Rod Millington/Netflix

15/25 The Alienist

You can almost smell the shoddy sanitation and horse-manure in this lavish murder-mystery set in 19th New York. We’re firmly in Martin Scorsese’s Gangs of New York territory, with a serial killer bumping off boy prostitutes across Manhattan. Enter pioneering criminal psychologist Dr Laszlo Kreisler (Daniel Brühl), aided by newspaper man John Moore (Luke Evans) and feisty lady detective Sara Howard (Dakota Fanning).

Kurt Iswarienko

16/25 Love

Judd Apatow bring his signature gross-out comedy to the small screen. Love, which Apatow produced, is a masterclass in restraint compared to 40 Year Old Virgin, Knocked Up etc. Paul Rust is Gus, a nerdish movie set tutor, whose develops a crush on Gillian Jacobs’s too-cool-for-school radio producer Mickey. Romance, of a sort, blossoms – but Love’s triumph is to acknowledge the complications of real life and to disabuse its characters of the idea that there’s such a thing as a straightforward happy ending. Hipster LA provides the bustling setting.

Netflix

17/25 Queer Eye

Who says reality TV has to be nasty and manipulative? This updating of the early 2000s hit Queer Eye for the Straight Guy has five stereotype-challenging gay men sharing lifestyle tips and fashion advice with an engaging cast of All American schlubs (the first two seasons are shot mostly in the state of Georgia). There are laughs – but serious moment too, such as when one of the crew refuses to enter a church because of the still unhealed scars of his strict Christian upbringing.

Netflix

18/25 Chef’s Table

A high-gloss revamping of the traditional TV food show. Each episode profiles a high wattage international chef; across its three seasons, the series has featured gastronomic superstars from the US, Argentina, India and Korea.

Charles Panian/Netflix

19/25 Arrested Development

A disastrous group interview in which actor Jason Bateman “mansplained” away the bullying co-star Jessica Walter had suffered at the hands of fellow cast-member Jeffrey Tambor meant season five of Arrested Development was fatally compromised before it even landed. Yet Netflix’s return to the dysfunctional world of the Bluth family stands on its merits and is a worthy addition to the surreal humour of seasons one through three (series four, which had to work around the busy schedules of the cast, is disposable by comparison).

Netflix

20/25 Altered Carbon

Netflix does Bladerunner with this sumptuous adaptation of the cult Richard Morgan novel. The setting is a neon-splashed cyberpunk future in which the super-wealthy live forever by uploading the consciousness into new “skins”. Enter rebel-turned-detective Takeshi Kovacs (Joel Kinnaman), hired to find out who killed a (since resurrected) zillionaire industrialist while dealing with fallout from his own troubled past. Rumoured to be one of Netflix’s most expensive projects yet, for its second run, Anthony Mackie (aka Marvel’s Falcon) replaced Kinnaman as the shape-shifting Kovacs.

Netflix

21/25 Rick and Morty

Dan Harmon, creator of cult sitcom Community (also on Netflix), finds the perfect outlet for zany fanboy imagination with this crazed animated comedy about a Marty McFly/Doc Brown-esque duo of time travellers. Every genre imaginable is parodied with the manic energy and zinging dialogue we have come to expect from Harmon.

Netflix/Adult Swim

22/25 GLOW

Mad Men’s Alison Brie is our entry point into this comedy-drama inspired by a real life all-female wrestling league in the Eighties. Ruth Wilder (Brie) is a down-on-her luck actor who, out of desperation, signs up a wrestling competition willed into being by Sam Sylvia (podcast king Marc Maron). Britrock singer Kate Nash is one of her her fellow troupe members: the larger than life Rhonda “Britannica” Richardson.

Netflix

23/25 Archer

Deadpan animated satire about an idiot super spy with shaken and stirred mother issues. One of the most ambitious modern comedies, animated or otherwise, Archer tries on different varieties of humour for size and even occasionally tugs at the heart strings.

24/25 Ozark

Breaking Bad for those with short attention spans. The saga of Walter White took years to track the iconic anti-hero’s rise from mild mannered everyman to dead-eyed criminal. Ozark gets there in the first half hour as nebbish Chicago accountant Marty Byrde (Jason Bateman) agrees to serve as lieutenant for the Mexican mob in the hillbilly heartlands of Ozark, Missouri (in return they thoughtfully spare his life). Bateman, usually seen in comedy roles, is a revelation as is Laura Linney as his nasty wife Wendy. There is also a break-out performance by Julia Garner playing the scion of a local redneck crime family.

Netflix

25/25 The Good Place

A heavenly comedy with a twist. Eleanor Shellstrop (Kristen Bell) is a cynical schlub waved through the Pearly Gates by mistake after dying in a bizarre supermarket accident. There she must remain above the suspicions of seemingly well-meaning but disorganised angel Michael (Ted Danson) whilst also negotiating fractious relationships with do-gooder Chidi (William Jackson Harper), spoiled princess Tahani (former T4 presenter Jameela Jamil) and ex-drug dealer Jason (Manny Jacinto).

Netflix

The remark was seen as incendiary as her Democrat rival Mike Espy is an African American and Mississippi has a history of lynchings.

Schumer said of Hyde-Smith: “I don’t usually agree with speaking ill of crackheads, but she has a crackhead looking mouth. Tiny racist teeth confederate ass campaign with her crack mouth said she would attend a public hanging.”

Source: https://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/comedy/news/amy-schumer-tour-dates-cancelled-instagram-video-pregnant-tickets-a8657326.html