#holo introject

[the-sour-patch-crew]

It's not pretty, and it's far from perfect. But thought we'd take part in the fun of making us in Pastel Party.

[holoism]

NON-BINARY AROACE GAWR GURA．

Requested by : Anon．

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No Kin ／ ID ／ Me tags．

[cc-tens]

Being an introject is. Odd... The realization that many people have varying perceptions of us, perceptions we cannot control nor influence; and yet they view us as what they understand or believe, even if it is not applicable. Tra'ika speaks on things that we do in our day to day lives and people have things to say as if those things matter at all. Is it because people would naturally care or is it because in the mind of others, you all view us as those figures within your holos?

Is it possible for others to understand the weight of this without bearing it for themselves? To have memories so clear and vivid of screaming as you're fresh from the tube, of growing pains so harsh and fast it feels like your flesh is rending itself apart, of you and your batch clawing your way to the finish line only to be sent into the glorified sunlit backdrop of what soon was shown to be Hell itself? To hold memories that seem so unspeakable but then also being decanted a second time to hold someone else's memories as well. To hold their unspeakable secrets as well and having to just hold and hold and hold more and more.

It's funny at times to see how much our host has relied on us. I do not say it with cruelty but with something just left of pity. Tra'ika has needed us so desperately that there are multiple versions of ourselves here, each so similar and yet so different. I'm sure if Kote or Ponds were here they'd wax some sort of poetic about ali'nar or aliit. Hah. I'm sure Wolffe and Bly would make a comment about how all variations of me, even the cadet are all smart, are all competent, and are all sneaky shabuir.

Kark...

[the-sour-patch-crew]

You know, with how often Ashe fronts I thought I was over the uncomfortableness of letting go. When she first showed up it was *extremely* difficult letting go of control. It was like she was fighting against a current. But little by little, it became easier. Now, there is no struggle. It is simple for her to front as if she's always naturally been here.

But, now Holo is fronting. Or trying to.

It's back to being a full on struggle. I don't know why it is. I admit I have the same apprehensions of letting someone else have full control. I don't think Holo would ever do anything that would cause an issue. But still. It's hard letting someone else you don't know well take front.

Even when I relax and want to give her front, she still struggles. We are *constantly* blurred or rapid switching. I know we will get there eventually, but I was hoping that I finally was over being front stuck. But, I guess this is something that'll likely always run it's course with new members.

Also, it doesn't help that we share a lot of the same animalistic behaviors, which makes it really hard to even know who's who sometimes. I think this is why being co-front/blurred is so consistent with her. I don't think she's let go of the front seat in weeks.

-Kit

[the-sour-patch-crew]

Being told by my partner system that Holo fronting was obvious because she didn't use contractions was mind-blowing. I didn't even know what they were talking about at first until they gave examples, and it was SO true that Ashe and I couldn't even pretend that it was us even if we wanted to.

It's little things like that that really help with moments of uncertainty. Of thinking maybe it's just me being weird and then being proven wrong by something so simple but so important. Of course, Holo piped up afterward saying of course it was obvious and how she was pleased her presence was noted. I knew she had fronted, but I wasn't aware of how differently we had sounded.

Im just so enamored that my partner notices something like that about me. I love them so much. 🧡

[the-sour-patch-crew]

They are irritating but not dangerous. You do more harm to yourself than a bug has ever done to you.

-Holo

[the-sour-patch-crew]

Why are you intimidated by this female when you wish to look like a man? -Holo

Holo calling me out while also helping to fight off insecurities. Gotta love systemmates keeping it real.

-Kit

[holoism]

♡ FUWAMOCO Introject｡ 

A flag for introjects of the vtuber duo FUWAMOCO.

♡ Fuwawa Abyssguard Introject｡ 

A flag for introject of Fuwawa Abyssguard.

♡ Mococo Abyssguard Introject｡ 

A flag for introjects of Mococo Abyssguard.

Requested by : Anon．

[holoism]

LESBIAN KIRYU COCO．

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No Kin ／ ID ／ Me tags．

[the-sour-patch-crew]

There's something about Spice and Wolf that sits at the very edge of my memory. I remember watching it many years ago and loving it. But... that's all I can recall. But as I re-watch it now, there are these constant flashes of recognition or memories that I almost grasp, and then they fade. It's been driving me nuts. I cannot recall how I interacted with the fandom, if at all. I did not post art of it, but perhaps I had made personal pieces. Or maybe, just maybe, I had a temporary headmate or even a fictionflicker moment the first time I watched the series. Knowing there's something that keeps stopping at the edge of my memory is driving me up a wall, and I'm worried the fixation on that sensation is going to cause another introject. But I can't stop thinking about it.

Holo has been leaving commentary. But maybe it's just my own commentary. Sometimes, it feels like a back and forth conversation, and sometimes it just feels like me speaking like her (autism moment, maybe). I just need my mind to calm down. I have never had issues consuming media before, but since our move, the risk seems to have increased.

Spending the day with Stolas yesterday helped, but today, with it just me in front, it's been a lot harder to keep things straight. Am I introjecting or masking? Who knows.

Oh, also, just discovered today Spice and Wolf has a remake now. So that's something.