#hmm. this post was funnier in my head

[viksalos]

reading up on autism to figure out what the fuck is going on with me and making a list of personal pros and cons to figure out whether i should feel good or bad about it. as one does

pros: hyperlexia, deeply compassionate, talent for mathematics and the sciences/can do calculations of reasonable complexity in my head, visual hypersensitivity/decent artistic ability when replicating from still life/good at distinguishing subtle colors, acute hearing/good at identifying distinct sounds and sonic textures/deeply moved by music, can rotate some shapes in my head really fast i guess

cons: people can tell something is "off" about me in a fraction of a second and will be anywhere from begrudgingly polite to overtly hostile about it, terminal "not like other girls" disease/feeling of disconnect with existing in a feminine body, can pace for hours on end until my legs hurt, frequent crying & shutdowns, talk about myself and my interests extensively and can't seem to find a way to stop or better relate to others outside of mirroring them, productive work that actually *utilizes* my talents seems to only happen in increasingly infrequent bursts of hyperfocus, recurring identity issues stemming from a fundamental feeling of being born wrong and belonging nowhere, visceral hypersensitivity means i'm in pain from the normal functioning of my own organs for most of the day, people have compared me to sheldon cooper and elon musk, i am constantly begging for the sweet release of death,

[wonderjanga]

Billy and Bars

Now, as you probably know, most of the time Billy is ages 8 to maybe 15 (that’s what I’ve seen anyways) and of course, his Captain Marvel form looks like an adult. So, it wouldn’t be strange for an adult to ask another adult to go to a bar with them. Which is why Billy is caught in a dilemma. On one hand, he could just say no, but after a long mission where they’d all spent like two days on an alien planet under constant heavy fire from a cute and cuddly, yet surprisingly bloodthirsty race? It’d be weird not to accept. They might suspect him for being a kid! And boy, Billy does not want that. But on the other hand, he’s not of legal drinking age.

He ends up going with them anyways. Now, all the heroes are sat at a dingy bar in Central City, out of costume, of course. Though, some of them cough Bruce cough Diana cough Arthur cough and you can’t forget Billy, still in Marvel form. (He took a page out of Supe’s book and wore glasses. He’s also for some reason wearing Hawaiian print. (He didn’t have actual adult clothes and needed to borrow from a bargain bin))

Billy thankfully found a loophole for this whole mess. That’s right, this guys gonna be sipping virgin margaritas for the rest of the night. And, he try as many flavors as he wants because you wanna know the best part? Bruce is paying for everything! If Billy could jump in joy, he would. It didn’t matter that Hal was a little obnoxious when drunk off his mind. He’s dealt with worse and it’s not like it’s all that bad. He’s kinda funnier than usual this way. He gets the spend the rest of the day with people he considers friends, that’s all that really matters.

GL: “Dude, why do you keep ordering virgins?”

Crap. What does Billy say to that? Right off the bat, Billy ignores Solomon’s first, and quite frankly, wild lie to tell.

Marvel: “Hmm? Oh uh… I… like the way they taste…?”

He’s a bad liar.

Aquaman: *drinking beer* “Try again, bud.”

Okay… It looks like he might have to listen to Solomon after all. Gosh dang it.

Marvel: “Uhm… I kinda used to maybe sort of might’ve had an addiction and had to go to AA a long time ago.” *Sips drink*

He was always better at lying when the lie was already prepared.

*Whole table goes silent*

Marvel: “Uh… I’ve been sober for a while. Like…” ‘Twelve years, Billy,’ Solomon supplied in his head. “…Twelve years.”

*Table is still silent.*

Flash: *Interrupts silence by slamming hands on table* “Dude! You cannot keep dropping Marvel Lore Bombs™️ on us like this!” (Btw this is the same universe as the Marvel Compilations post. I didn’t mean to write it like it was the same universe but I might as well connect them cause why not)

Marvel: “Whaddya mean?”

Superman: “Well, Marvel…” *scratches back of head* “You kinda have this tendency to… Gosh, how do I put this?”

Martian Manhunter: “You drop obscure information about yourself at random times.”

Wonder Woman: “Then you just go about your day like you didn’t say it in the first place. For example Cap, you can’t just tell me that at some point you were an Amazonian, you were there for my birth, and then just walk off.”

GL: “Marvel, how old are you?”

Marvel: “Uuuuuuhhhhhhh….”

Batman: “You date back to having existed before Mesopotamia. I want to know the answer to that question Marvel.” *Bat-glares Billy while sipping from his drink.*

Bruce was definitely going to add the AA thing to his quite small folder on Marvel.

The night continues on with the other members of the JL grilling Billy for more information about himself, which Solomon helps with by either supplying him with lies, or with things previous champions did. By the time the night was over, Billy never wanted to go to a bar again. He unshazamed in an alley and went home to his little place. He bee-lined to his sleeping bag and just when he was about to fall asleep, something popped into his mind:

‘Why didn’t I just say I didn’t like the way it tastes?’ That thought kept him up for a couple more hours.

[fleshengine]

okay so to preface this i already have the necessary tags blocked and it isn't causing me major issues however

the fact that if i blocked/unfollowed you itd be bc of arachnophobia is very funny to me. bc itd be like. using the term arachnophobia in the way that we normally use homophobia.

...this sounded funnier in my head. idk am i making any sense at all

I think I did miss a spider tag earlier, with the spitting spider post (sorry)

Anyway yeah it would be reeeeaaaallly funny if arachnophobia was treated like homophobia. I guess it kind of is... "Look the spiders can live in my attic and garage, I just don't want them in my kid's room." And a lot of people would rather kill or lethally displace a spider than let it chill.

I would never dream of it friend. I can't stop spiderposting. Every post is a spiderpost.

wait if I tag this as spiderposting will you not be able to see it? hmm.

[queenjunothegreat]

Told you guys I was gonna start posting the random stuff I won't finish and I wasn't lying ( ꒪꒳​꒪ )

Finally, Leo gave in. “What's up with you, Beauty Queen?”

She blinked at him, like she was startled that he addressed her. “Oh! I just thought you told me you were going to dump Jason. I'm a little surprised to see you haven't.”

Leo chuckled nervously. Jason ignored them and just shoved his face deeper in his book like the slimy little coward of a traitor that he was. “Uh, I dunno what you're talking about.”

“Hmm… I suppose it could have been a dream, then,” Piper mused, then she gave Jason a sympathetic look. “You'd better watch out, Jason. I had dreams about Leo dumping all of his previous relationships only days before it happened.”

Without glancing up from his book, Jason said, “Piper, please. We both know Leo doesn't have enough game to bag anyone but me.”

Piper wheezed in laughter and Leo turned on Jason with a furiously betrayed expression and vermilion cheeks. “Dude! What the fuck!”

Jason closed his book and blinked owlishly at him. “I thought you wanted me to try being funnier.”

“That doesn't mean you should clown on me!”

“Oh, I'm sorry,” Jason said earnestly. “I'm just not all that practiced, so I figured I should start with an easy target.”

“Stop, stop, he’s already dead!” Piper howled.

Leo sneered at her. “Yeah, yeah. Just remember that I had enough game to steal your boyfriend.”

“Bestie, you stole a closeted lesbian’s man,” Piper reminded him. “Our whole relationship he was basically wearing a sign around his neck that said ‘Free to a good home.’” She gave Jason an apologetic wince. “No offense.”

“Not sure how I'm supposed to not be at least a little offended by that, but I'll give it my best shot.”

“We are ignoring the real issue here!” Leo interrupted. “Piper! Since when did you know!?”

“Since forever, dummy,” Piper scoffed. “I can't believe you two really thought you could keep this a secret from me. I'm an Aphrodite kid. I can literally smell it on you two like cheap perfume. And, Leo, really? Like really, really? You thought you could hide this from me? You couldn’t even keep your favorite yogurt flavor a secret from me.”

“It's peach, right?” Jason asked, looking at Leo.

Leo laid a sympathetic hand on his knee. “Sorry, bud, but it's actually strawberry banana.”

“He's lying; it's blueberry.”

Jason looked stricken and stared down at his hands. “I don't know what to believe anymore.”

“And you!” Piper pointed her finger at Jason, and he suddenly found the ceiling very interesting. “Next time you need advice for how to hide hickies, maybe don't ask the Aphrodite cabin when you're trying to hide your relationship from an Aphrodite kid!”

Leo frowned at him in disappointment. “You went to the Aphrodite cabin? Really?”

“Who was I supposed to ask?” Jason demanded defensively. “I don't have a cabin full of siblings to help me out. The closest I have are Nico and Percy! Nico's boyfriend can basically kiss bruises away, and Percy literally laughed me out of the Poseidon cabin. I tried to IM Thalia, but she just looked like she was going to be sick when I asked and hung up on me. I tried to call her back, but Iris told me she'd paid thirty drachmas to block me for the rest of the week.”

“Still though! You could have asked anyone else!”

“Maybe I wouldn't have had to ask for help if you actually kept it below the collar like you were supposed to.”

“Oh, so it's my fault now? Big talk coming from the guy who used my shoulders as a chew toy.”

“Oh, dog jokes. Real original, Valdez.”

“It's not a dog joke, it's just an accurate metaphor because you're literally an animal.”

“Honestly, I'm surprised that you didn't already know how to handle them, Jason,” Piper chimed in. “I figured you would have plenty of experience.”

Jason stared at her like she'd grown a second and possibly third head. “Why would you think that? I arguably have less game than Leo. I'm just tall.”

“I think you have game, babe,” Leo said, patting him on the knee. Then his face screwed up. “Wait a minute. No I don't! Fuck you!”

“Anyway. In case you forgot, my one and only girlfriend turned out to be a lesbian who only dated me because my crazy stepmom brainwashed us,” Jason insisted. “The fact that I haven't fumbled Leo is a miracle beyond words.”

“You're trying real hard to fumble right now,” Leo scowled. “Don't even know why I'm dating you, to be honest.”

”Because I'm mildly obsessed with you and you like the ego boost. And I also hold heavy stuff for you.”

“Plus you actually like his mother henning,” Piper added. She shuddered. “God, when we were dating it was like having a second dad. He just hovers all the time. I can't tell you how many times he asked me if I ate dinner while we were on the quest. Like, we were on the ship together. You know if I ate dinner, my guy.”

Jason pouted and crossed his arms. “Fine. See if I offer you any granola bars any time soon.”

“I think it's kinda sweet,” Leo said with a somewhat sheepish grin.

“That's because you—” Piper leaned over and poked him between the eyes, “are incapable of taking care of yourself, so you need someone to do it for you. Where everyone else sees smothering, you see the only feasible way for you to actually eat more than twice a week and get a full night's sleep.”

“Speaking of, it should be dinner soon,” Jason said, checking his watch.

“Babe, this is not how you beat the suburban dad allegations,” Leo clucked. “What kind of teenager wears a wristwatch?”

“Percy literally wears one everyday?”

“His turns into a magic shield that his brother made for him. Plus, he can't read it and even if he could, the time is always wrong.”

“What am I supposed to do then? What do you two do?”

“We just never know the time,” Piper said, rolling her eyes. “Like cool kids. Cool kids never know the time.”

Jason gave them both a very tired look. “I'm asking Percy to drown me and I'm telling Nico to make sure you two never see me in Elysium.”

“Pft, as if,” Leo scoffed. “We're your favorite people. Ever.”

Jason didn't say anything, he just pressed his lips together and furrowed his brow. “Awww!” Piper cooed, pinching his cheek. “We are! Look at that face!”

Jason puffed up his slightly pink cheeks and batted her hand away, getting to his feet. “I'm sitting with the Athena kids at dinner.”

“Yeah? Well, I'm sitting with the Demeter kids!” Leo announced.

“The Demeter kids won't let you anywhere near them after you accidentally set their roof on fire last week,” Piper reminded him.

“Just kidding; I'm sitting with the Hermes kids!”

“Okay, then I'm sitting with the Hephaestus cabin. I'm gonna get Nyssa to tell me any other secrets you're trying to keep from me.”

“Hey, that's not fair!”

“You two aren't allowed to just sit with other cabins,” Jason sighed, dragging a hand down his face. “You have siblings, remember?”

“Boo!” they said in unison.

Jason laughed. “Seriously, come on, you two. We do actually need to eat.”

“Coming, dad,” Leo crooned.

Piper arched her brows. “Kinky.” Leo gagged at her.

Jason ignored them both and left for the Pavilion, Piper and Leo bouncing along in his wake.

[preyandhunter]

Flesh and Blood [The Masterlist]

Hey hi howdy.

here's a list of absolutely everyone ever that is going to be taking part in this story

[warning. looooong post ahead]

For reference:

Ghouls are ranked C - SS: C is the lowest, SS is borderline godlike.

Doves (not canon to tg) are ranked Tier's 1 - 4: 1 is the lowest, 4 is virtually unstoppable.

Disclaimer: we will not be using the hermits'/others' irl names. decided if it was funnier to make fake names for all of them based on usernames.

(in the actual story we will be using the names in quotation marks lol)

Buford "Bdubs" O'Hunred [Dove] :: Tier 2 - Machete Quinque - Wears a ghillie suit and thinks it looks cool

Bos "Beef" Vintage [Ghoul :: B Class - "The Butcher" Kokaku: Horns + Six legged Bull Kakuja - Dude wash your apron

Ben "Bigb" Biggie [Ghoul] :: B Class - "The Frog" Triple orange rinkaku tails - Teenage Mutant Ninja . . . froggie grown man!

Cub Goodfan [Ghoul] :: C Class - "The Magician" Ukaku vex wings - Of the two of them, really you'd think this one would be the crazy one

Cleo Zombie [Ghoul] :: A Class - "The Gorgon" Tiny wings + six snake tails - Her name could have led to some good brand opportunities

Dr. Maddox Sevensven "Doc" [Ghoul] :: A Class - "The Goat" Bone kokaku + Goatskull kakuja - The career change really made things complicated

Ethos "Etho" Lab [Dove] :: Tier 3 - Sniper quinque with high caliber Q bullets. - y'know what they call me? call me ladders. cuz i go up real high...

Fals "False" Symmetria [Dove] :: Tier 2 - Sword quinque, morphs into winged broadsword. - Oh her and Wels go waaaay back!

Fhwip "Fwip" Taylor [Dove] :: Tier 3 - Sickle quinque - Y'know what they say about younger siblings growing up to replace you? Yeah. That.

Gemini "Gem" Taylor [Dove] :: Tier 3 - Whipsword quinque. - Youngins these days kick butt way harder than they used to

Grian Spurman [Human] :: S Class* - Red wings quinque backpack - Some would say that's cannibalism O-o

Haech "Hbomb" Bomber [Dove] :: Tier 2 - Yknow back in my day

Hels Gnitte [Dove] :: Tier 2 - Spiderman pointing meme

Hypnos "Hypno" Tizzede [Human] :: n/a - Going once, going twice, sold to the man with no front teeth!

I Jevin Aquamarine Gaimen "Jevin" [Ghoul] :: A Class - Two bright blue bikaku tails - They say surfing is a sport in California. Don't know where the couches came from.

Impulse Essve [Human] :: n/a - Occupational hazard or not, he's getting his goddamn coffee

Iskall Eigh Fivva [Dove] :: Tier 1 - Non Newtonian bikaku blade quinque - (floppy)HAMMERTIME

Joel Beans Smallish [Human] :: n/a - Cast iron pans work wonders

Joseph "Joe" Hills [Human] :: n/a - Journalism just got way more dangerous

Kera Liss "Keralis" [Human*] :: n/a - Hmm, how'd you get there?

Lizzie D Shadowlady [Ghoul] :: C class - "Housecat" 3 toed talons kokaku - No officer, there's no one here, just this very cat like cat...

Martyn LilWood [Dove] :: Tier 2 - Standard sword quinque. Possibly with a rocket on the end. - Not quite taking the lone wolf schtick to heart

Mumbo K. Jumbo [Ghoul] :: B Class - "The Suit" Double kokaku claws - Mondays amiright

Pearl Escentmoon [Human] :: n/a - Worst. Field trip. Ever.

Pix Elrif [Ghoul] :: C class - "Automaton" Single tail bikaku - The cat distribution system but he is the cat

Ren Thedog [Ghoul] :: S class - "The Red Wolf" Single tail Rinkaku + wolf head kakuja - oh hey how you doing nice to meet- SQUIRREL???

Saus "Sausage" J Mythica [Human] :: n/a - The world's best chewy stress toy

Scar Goodfan [Ghoul] :: SS class -"The Vex" Ukaku vex wings + 2 bikaku tails + Perfect Kakuja - no chill having, no leg having, no craps given, no fear having ass

Scott Dangtha Longie Major [Dove] :: Tier 1 - Spear quinque - Doing his best ;w;

Skizz LeMann [Ghoul] :: C class - "Lucifer" 4 feathered rinkaku tails - One beer away from getting in the maid outfit

Tress "Stress" Monstre [Dove] :: Tier 2 - Warhammer quinque - Holds all of the tea. And yeah, that's a lot.

Tango Tekk [Ghoul] :: C class - "Helios" Single wing, combustible, ukaku - Is absolutely not compensating for anything

Tin Foilchef "TFC" [Dove] :: Tier 4 - Double edged scythe, polymorph, quinque - Judge, Justice and Executioner

Timothy "Jimmy" Solidarity [Ghoul] :: C class - "Canary" Deformed wing Ukaku - The vibe is strong with this one. That vibe was wet cat.

Wels K. Nite [Ghoul] :: B Class - "The Knight" Reptilian wing Ukaku - huh, well that's awkward

Xb Crafheld [Ghoul] :: A Class - "Guardian" Fused double tail bikaku - If he had a nickel every time he was friends with a suspicious man, he would have two nickels.

Xisuma "X" Vhoide [Dove] :: Tier 3 - Multiple quinques - Has one and a half eyeballs

Amusix "eX" Vhoide* [Dove] :: Tier 2 - Crossbow quinque - There's a crime here about to be committed...

Zed Aphlays [Ghoul] :: C class - "The Ram" Bikaku Sheep's foot - One good day away from committing arson

Zloy Exphee [Human] :: n/a - These journalists seriously need to chill.

[thevalleyisjolly]

Thanks so much @jadeandquartzes for tagging me in this super fun tag game!

Rules: Go to your (current/main) AO3 account and find the following:

What ratings do you write most of your fics under?

General and Teen are tied with 5 each! Granted, Contrapuntal Calculus should probably be under Mature, since it features something I can only describe as "divine mystery meets the erotically baffling." Then again, if I'm reevaluating my rating decisions, the manner of things doesn't really warrant a Mature rating, I was just erring on the side of extreme caution since a lot of D20 fans tend to skew younger, so I guess it balances out.

What are your top three fandoms?

I only have 12 fics up on my AO3 spanning five fandoms, so it isn't a huge range. Top fandom is Dimension 20 coming in with 6 fics, and then Critical Role in a distant second with 2 fics. The rest (LOTR, Doctor Who, Agent Carter) have one fic each.

What is the top character you write about?

Cumulous Rocks baby!! Back in my heyday of writing ACOC fic (I'm in a Star Wars/Andor hiatus right now but I pinky promise I have not forgotten about On The Raising Of Chickens), I made a solemn pledge to myself to create the content I feel is lacking in the community. And I have kept that promise and I will continue to keep that promise! Once I finish this other fic about questionable polyamory negotiation practices. And this other fic about the rulership of the Noldor in post-Fourth Age Valinor. And-

What are your top three pairings?

It's very ace of me that I hardly ever write very shippy fics, even though I am a happy crewman of many ships. All my fics are technically tied because I (thus far) haven't written more than one fic per pairing. And some of the tagged pairings aren't heavily focused on in the fic or are just implied, so going chronologically based on pairings that the fic is actually about, I have: Elrond/Thranduil (LOTR), Peggy/Daniel/Jack (Agent Carter), Essek/Caleb (Critical Role), Theo/Cumulous (ACOC), Theo/Lapin (ACOC), and Fifteenth Doctor/Fourteenth Doctor (Doctor Who).

What are the top three additional tags?

Character Study and Canonical Character Death are both tied with 3, and then we have a three-way tie between Grief/Mourning, Additional Warnings in Author's Note, and Implied/Referenced Character Death. ...which is really not a surprise based on my writing interests and favourite media, huh? What can I say, I really like getting into characters' heads and I really really like exploring the impact that death has on a story. My most popular fic, in the face of death's mystery, revolves entirely around the premise of the impact that a character's death has on the narrative and on other characters, and how things are affected if they remain tangibly present in the world.

(Which makes the fic I'm working on right now so much funnier because it's exactly what I often dislike as a fic concept - characters who died in a really poignant and momentous narrative event somehow surviving. But hey, it's important to get out of one's comfort zone and try something new!)

Does any of this surprise you?

I'm surprised that I've written so few stories for specific pairings. As someone who does enjoy shipping most of the time, it feels odd that I don't write more about ships I enjoy. My next fic, if I ever manage to finish it, will balance this out more, as will the next few fic concepts up the pipeline.

I also surprised myself with how few fics for how few fandoms I've actually published. I have so many drafts of fics for many, many fandoms that I keep forgetting no one else has seen. So while from my perspective, I've written quite a lot for multiple different fandoms, what I've actually published is just a fraction of that.

(I've really never talked on here about the 47,000-word Rey Kenobi fic I wrote back in 2017 and never published, have I? Yeah, that was a thing that happened)

Hmm, tagging @daggersandarrows, @domesticatedanimals, @swanmaids, and anyone who'd like to try this out. It's a pretty fun retrospective on your writing, I recommend it!

[sgt-scottymoreau]

What happens in Siberia, stays in Siberia - Part 1

Summary: After months of secretly feelings, things lead that another and some of these feeligs comes out in a rather messy way. But honestly nothing is ever easy.

Warning: None

Words: 3.9 // AO3 // Part 2 // Masterlist

A/N: So I posted a poll on my main to know which fic should be next, this one won. However, from my three options, this was also the one that I wanted to rework a little (actually second time I do lol) I'm not quite done yet, but this fic is already getting as big as it is, so it will be in two (maybe three? I mean so far I have over 12k words!) part. I suppose as a heads up I could say that part 2 will have some spicy to it, if you catch my drift. What did you think I mean when I say everything will be messy?! lol

Although it was known that the 141 was considered an international task force, it was odd for some to see someone from another country roaming around the base. Especially that it had been give or take five months since Scotty joined. It’s true that she did stand out while wearing her work uniform, she was always proud to wear her colors and everyone was aware of her background. Words spread fast. So did the rumors as to why she would remain here. Especially among new recruits who might not have all the latest updates. But whatever the others were thinking, Scotty didn’t mind much. Because whatever the others could say or think, she actually enjoyed the team. It was a change to have something stable after some many issues. No one ever bothered her about it. Some curious characters here and there did ask or engage in a conversation to either put a clear view on whatever rumor they heard. Meanwhile, others could be bold and unafraid. Just like today.

The five of them were sitting at the table, enjoying some well deserved rest and meal with a lighthearted conversation. Mostly the three sergeants engaged in it, talking about everything and nothing. Or about the old days before the task force. Ghost was listening in silence, it was entertaining, but he didn’t find the need to add more, and Price simply enjoyed the calm. Especially since he was waiting to meet Laswell soon for some important briefing. ‘’So there’s that one time I tell my teammates that if the amount of cocaine found was one tonne, I would jump in the water.’’ Scotty said.

‘’Sounds like you did.’’ Soap laughed, taking another bite of his meal.

‘’I, in fact, did not. I think it was De Keyser who said it wouldn't be more than 700 kg. According to our intel, it was a small drug bust. If he lost he was the one to jump. So here we are counting, not even close to 500 kg, I start to worry. But then, one of the port security found another container. Low and behold, 856 kg in total! According to De Keyser, the water was freezing cold that day. It was funnier to fish him out.’’

‘’Poor man ran out of luck that day.’’ Gaz laughed. He could imagine how her colleague must have felt to lose by not much. Lost in their shenanigans, none of them saw the recruit approaching their table. When the young one was in range they looked at him, curious about what he had to say. Even more when they noticed the other recruits in the back pointing at him and whispering at each other. Obviously, it was dare or something along those lines.  

‘’How can we help you?’’ Soap asked, offering his kindest smile.

‘’Hmm, not you. Her.’’ Oh even if it was a dare, he had a certain arrogance in his tone. That was promising. Scotty raised an eyebrow, putting down her fork and giving her full attention to the newcomer. ‘’You're not exactly from here, so why stay with them? What’s your job? Task Force’s bitch?’’ Boy had a lucky star watching over him, because everyone at the table stopped what they were doing to stare at him. Everyone shifted on their seats. Price put down his paper ready to reply something to the young one disrespecting his superior but Scotty was faster. She kept a calm tone and serene face.

‘’Oh I fucking wish!’’ This reply took everyone by surprise, even the rookie who suddenly didn’t know what to say. ‘’That’d be the dream! No more brushing with death, no reports to fill after mission, no exhausting training to stay in shape, fixed work hours and weekend free perhaps.’’

Price let his head fall on his hands with a disappointed sigh. Ghost who had been ever so silently following had not changed his expression but behind the mask wasn’t holding a smile. On the other hand, Gaz and Soap were almost rolling under the table. She said this with such seriousness and calmness, it was almost unbelievable. Her face had and was still impassible, the most serious she could be. ‘’Would that be all or should I also told you how I would satisfy every single of these men?’’ Scotty added leaning on the table to be closer to the rookie.

Gaz and Soap were on the verge of crying at this point, after Price groaned loudly in emotional pain. There were some things he didn’t need to hear, even as a joke. The recruit's face went red so fast, it was a miracle he was still standing on his feet and had not passed out from embarrassment. He tried to mumble some sort of excuse now that his smugness was all gone. He quickly ran back to his friends who had heard some of the conversation and were also laughing. She waved at them, resisting the urge to flip them off. It took Soap and Gaz another minute to finally be able to breathe again. Price watched his watch; what a relief. 

‘’I have to meet with Laswell.’’ He said getting up. ‘’I hope you will behave while I’m gone.’’ He had a smile on his face. Even if he couldn’t believe what just happened, it was better to see his team able to bond like this than be at each other's throats. 

Hadn’t finished their meal yet, they all remained in the mess hall. Still joking about what was going on. ‘’So that be the dream, aye?’’ Soap brought this statement back.

‘’Anything that allows me to stay alive another day and have fun. Sure.’’ She laughed. ‘’Isn’t like the 141 was made of bad looking guys.’’ It wasn’t far from the truth. Which was a bold statement to say when everyone concerned could hear. The only thing that made her a little awkward was that she was saying this next to Ghost. While she was maybe teasing the other two, Ghost was another story. Even if she hadn’t seen his face yet, the mystery of the man had some effects on her. That and his damn voice. And how large he was. And… she could go one for a while. He had been cold at the beginning, but over time he did show that he did care for everyone equally. Scotty also learned to act a little more relaxed around him, instead of being tense and awkward, even if she had some feelings for him. It was hard to know if he would reciproque them and honestly she did not expect, so better live with this and just be herself than restrain herself. It was always easier to joke when Soap was around anyway.

‘’Glad to hear, I’m good looking.’’ Soap grinned. 

‘’Oh please, you would be the first one to ask for anything. Gaz? I don’t know, you look like the kind of respectable man who wouldn’t.’’

‘’You could be surprise.’’ He commented.

‘’Price? Too much respect for the Captain, that would be awkward.’’ She snorted. 

‘’What about Ghost?’’ Soap asked. Scotty turned slightly to look at the lieutenant who suddenly was very focused on the conversation. She felt she had been pushed in the spotlight. His gaze through his mask was stern. She wasn’t sure what to answer here. However all of it was casual banter, nothing that could hurt.

‘’You are a bunch of idiots right now.’’ He groaned before Scotty spoke up. 

‘’We all know the lieutenant doesn’t care about this kind of stuff.’’ She shrugged it off, getting a small laughter from the other two, but a cold glare from him. Few months back this would have scared her to death, now it was just a background thing. ‘’That’s why I keep my mind on only Soap would be using my service and honestly that would make him the second whore of the 141.’’ Gaz wheezed again at this remark. Soap was amusedly offended. 

Ghost would have also smiled at the comment, it was a good comeback. However there was something different this time. He knew, deep inside he knew so bad she was just joking. It was how she was; laidback, cracking jokes around less dark than his but everyone had their way to light up the mood. He learned that over the time they had missions together. She had changed a lot since she joined. He remembered how she was so tense around him that one time they had to lay low at her family. Nowadays, it was great to see her more relaxed. But that was beside the point. The point was that as much as he liked her being like that, something was in this moment, in this specific way of being so casual with Soap that… annoyed him? Ghost couldn’t pinpoint exactly what the feeling was. He never felt that before. She had joked like this before, this wasn’t the first time. If he was good with little army humor that mostly consisted of dark humor, Scotty was a pro at innuendos jokes. She had no filter sometimes and he appreciated her directness. He had no right to feel so… angry at her for doing so? 

No he wasn’t angry at her. Nor Soap or Gaz to follow up in shenanigans. It wasn’t annoyance either. But he knew it came from how close the two looked at the moment. How they exchanged these ideas like… maybe there was something more behind the laugh. Right now, Ghost didn’t like how Soap was looking at her… It hit like a rocket to the face. It was jealousy! He was being jealous of his sergeant. But why? It wasn’t like… Her bursting in laughter at whatever had been said, sent a wave of warmth through him. It felt appeasing and nice. Come to think of it, it was not the first time this feeling was flaring up. Some days, even the most mundane conversation with her had the same effect. When she would be back from a high risk mission. Ghost watched her talking without paying attention to the conversation. Only to realize, she was actually trying to get his attention.

‘’Lieutenant, everything is alright?’’ Scotty asked. It was now that he finally noticed that the other two were gone. It was just her and him. ‘’You have been staring for a while now.’’

Had he? Seeing that it was indeed only them at the table, he sensed a small relief on his jealousy. That didn’t help how confused his head felt. It added more to it. ‘’Sorry, I was thinkin’.’’ He said hoping this would be enough for her to let go and not ask more questions. But her brown eyes didn’t look away, as she was about to question him. He made eye contact. It was this precise second, that he was once more hit so hard by the obviousness that he couldn’t believe it was that. But it was pointless right? He was too cold for her right? He was the opposite of her. She was far more like Soap, they would fit well… Jealousy came back at this thought. Yes it was this… He had feelings for her… ‘’Fucking hell, you are fool Simon.’’ Ghost thought to himself.

‘’Glad to see you are still here.’’ Price took him out of his thoughts. The lieutenant and sergeant gave their full attention to the captain.  He dropped a file on the table. ‘’I have an assignment for you two. Siberia.’’

They have been dropped a few klicks away from their target to ensure that now one would spot them. The night was cloudless allowing the moon to come through and light the way. It was still very cold, thanks to their winter gear, they were able to keep warmth in. Another positive point, the weather was clear at the moment, allowing them to make their way through the heavy snow more or less easily. It reached above their ankles at almost every step and they were traveling with light gear equipment. This was hell of a workout. Their mission was simple; infiltrate an old abandoned Russian facility. Intel showed that it wasn’t as desert as they thought and sight of convoy bringing in and out materials required a deeper investigation. It seemed to be chemical in origin. Arriving at their destination, they lay low on the snow. Scotty readjusted her hood to keep the wind from blowing her face. 

"Ghost, Scotty sitrep?" Price's voice came through their radio.

"We reached the target point, Captain." She replied.

"Roger, from now it will be radio silence till you get what we need. Contact me when all is over and I’ll give you the coordinates for evac. Good luck."

Ghost had already his sniper out and scouted the area. Scotty took out the binocular. The building didn’t look heavily guarded. Being in the middle of almost nowhere, there wasn’t much reason to waste assets on the outside. Still, two guards on the front entrance, four making rounds on the higher roof. Two more near a back door and finally three walking around the base of the building. This was a decent number, rather normal for this kind of facility, and nothing they couldn’t handle. 

“See anything good?” Ghost asked, always focusing with his snipe. 

“We have two options.” She replied, grabbing her infra light. She pointed to the bigger door. “We can either force ourselves by the front door by taking down the two guards.”

“Bold move, dangerous.”

“Or, here, by the east side of the building. There’s an exit, unguarded. Only one of the walking guards passes by once in a while.” Ghost followed the ray to see what she meant. This was a safer way in. 

“Good job, let’s move.” They put away their tools and advanced toward the building. The snow was softly crunching under their weight at each step. Their warm breath clashed with the cold Siberian air. Little clouds forming each time. Eventually, they crouched in the white, their tactical clothes allowing them to blend. Near the site, they took the first cover available to keep advancing. Two guards walked by laughing about something. Once clear, they quickly made their way to the exit door. Of course it was locked on the outside by a security system. Scotty took a small device and connected it to the keypads. There were so many possibilities but hopefully the combination will be found fast. 

Ghost kept watch. “How long?” He whispered.

“I don’t know, it could be in a minute or five. Anyone coming?” Her eyes never left the screen for a second.

“Negative.” They returned to silence. Ghost suddenly caught the noise of crunching snow. “Wait.. Fuck. Scotty tells me we have something, someone is coming!”

“We have three numbers out of five lieutenant… four. Come on, come on… Yes!” She disconnected the device quickly, opened the door and they quickly infiltrated in. The door closed behind him a little before the guard arrived. It was like no one was ever there. The warmth of the building was the first shock. A welcomed one. They carefully and steadily made their way inside the facility. The distance to their target destination was a long one. Although they were on the lookout for any chemical containers, which they actually saw a few as they advanced deeper in the building, their main target was the servers room. If they could extract more information over this whole operation, this would prove very useful. Somehow, Ghost and Scotty go on the lucky side, they barely encounter any security. If any, it was easy to avoid them. The last thing they needed was to leave or make a mess that would attract more trouble.

Crouching around the corner, Ghost looked over his shoulder. The servers were right there. Only two guards were standing there. Obviously, the value of what was in there was worth stationning personnel there. That was good and bad. "Got your knives?" He asked her. 

"Always." She smiled and took one out. "What's your plan?"

"Distraction. Hopefully they move. Once they are both more in the open, they go down." On this, he threw a piece of metal that was hanging there. The guards mumbled something and stepped forward of their station. Ghost counted down and on three, they threw their weapon. One last surprised cry came out of these men before falling to their death. The two operatives swiftly grabbed their bodies and dragged them in the room. From now on, they had to work fast. Anyone who would pass by might be alerted by the missing guards. To their surprise, the servers looked to be handmade. A bunch of recovered pieces, patched all together into something somehow working. Their enemies were quite resourceful. 

Scotty took place at one of the servers built in computer and plugged the drive. Ghost kept overwatch. "How long will it take?"

"I wish I could give you an answer but you never know with this kind of equipment." Scotty admitted. Without wasting more time she started typing. She first needed to get in the system, then will have to look around for the specific files. Hopefully it will be a piece of cake.

*****

Thirty minutes later and the only piece of cake was that no one had shown up. Ghost was running low in patience and so she was. "What do you want me to do!" Scotty raged between her teeth after he had voiced his annoyance at the stagnant work. 

"Anything that would make it go faster." He replied in the same tone. 

"No wonder you like to work alone…" She was racking her brain to find a solution. She had breached the system, but they had encrypted everything, so it was hell of a process to unlock all files. This would take longer than the time that had already passed. Unless… She grabbed her multitool. From what she guessed during her quick look around, this server was mostly made of random hard drivers all connected together. Half of them had been checked without anything interesting. Her last option was to simply remove the leftover drivers and take them home. Ghost watched her as she popped the drivers out of their slots, completely taken off guard. She took ten of them out and wrapped them in whatever she found, so at least the components would stay intact as much as possible. Then shoved the bounty in her backpack. 

Through the mask, Scotty could feel the wondering gaze. She simply shrugged it. He wanted fast and she gave him fast. He did like that in a sense. Now it was time to get out of this place and rendezvous with the exfil. Coast was clear. They stealthy made their way out of the room, making sure to not make a sound. They barely had turned the corner of the hallway, when shouting came from behind. "Here goes the smooth sailing." Scotty thought. The man shouted something that did not seem right for them. As if he was alerting the others. 

Ghost turned around with his gun and shot without hesitation. However the sound of it echoed throughout the area loudly. More reason to not stay here and see what happens next. The two soldiers ran down the stairs. Footsteps followed from behind, lots of them. They had to exit the building now, but how? It seemed like the building was swarmed by guards. They could retrace their steps to the emergency door they found earlier. That is if it was still unguarded. It would be surprising if by now the enemies had raised the alarm and all exits were compromised. Ghost took the lead in to figure out a way out. They covered some distance on the ground floor before they were forced back up when they saw many shadows stretching from the hallway in front and the steps from behind. They hid behind crates when they heard commotion coming their way. Crouched, they attempted an escape when one man noticed them and yelled something in russian. ‘‘Go! Go! Go!’’ Ghost ordered pushing her in front of him and he started shooting. 

Making their way who knew where, they found themselves cornered. Scotty looked around for anything where they could hide. ‘‘Lieutenant, there!’’ She shouted pointing out some old lockers.

‘‘Are you out of you mind there’s not way we fit in!’’ 

‘‘Well we have no choice!’’ She pushed him towards them. They had only a few seconds to spare. They quickly checked some lockers which all had something inside or were locked and when they finally found one to hide in, there was no more time to look at the others. They would have to cramp in there. They jumped in it and tried to close the door. If none of them moved, they could make it. They heard footsteps and voices on the other side. ‘‘They couldn’t have gone far! Find them!’’

They remained still. There was still some activity outside. ‘‘Let’s wait a few minutes then we get dash out of here.’’ Scotty whispered.

‘‘Roger that.’’ He replied, looking away. She was pressed so close against him, if it wasn't from the bulletproof vest, he dared to think… No! He had to focus on the mission. However it was hard to do with her squirming around to be comfortable and not get any numb limbs. Ghost was so large he took most of the space! ‘‘Can you stop moving!’’

‘‘Sorry it’s hard to find a comfortable position…’’ The voices had gone by now, but they agreed it would be safer to stay put a little longer in case someone was still scouting the surrounding area. She felt something against her leg. ‘‘Lieutenant, can you move your pistol?’’

‘‘That… is not my pistol.’’ He said between his teeth. Scotty was glad that there was barely any light in here, because her face turned red understanding what it was exactly. Time froze around them realizing the situation. Only brought back to reality by steps moving away along with shouting. Then silence returned. "Let's get out now." 

Clear or not clear, they didn't hesitate to exit the cramped space. Ghost contacted Price as soon as he could to know the rendezvous point. At this point they only wished to be out of there, safe. A wish shattered when the earpiece rang with bad news from the captain. "Ghost, Scotty, a big storm is heading your way. We won't be able to extract." 

"If we make it out alive, where to then?" Ghost replied, scanning the corner. He gestured to her to move forwards. 

"Gaz found an abandoned safe house five klicks away, North from your position, hidden in the beginning of the forest. Stay put till the storm passes. Over"

"Roger, will give a sitrep once we are there. Out." Some good news. They wouldn't be dying from cold at least. They could still die of bullets though. Avoiding as many enemies as possible they luckily made it back to their entrance. Ghost told Scotty to be ready with her gun. He will advance to take one down with his knife while she shoots the other. The two guards taken care off, he pushed the door and they ran outside. The two soldiers were met with a cold piercing wind. Snow was already falling heavily. The walk to the safe house would be a painful and exhausting journey.

[jerzwriter]

Best Men

Book: Open Heart (Post Series)

Pairing: Tobias Carrick x F!MC (Casey MacTavish)

Others: Ethan Ramsey, M!OC (Jordan Carrick)

Category: Angsty, but some fuff

Words: 2300

Summary: Not everyone is happy to hear Tobias & Casey's news, but others help them through, and Ethan is elated with his new role.

A/N: OK, Jordan comes off as a total douche in this segment; you'll hate him. But there is more at play then meets the eye. Plus, he's really cute, so you'll forgive him down the line. lol

@choices-november2022 - Day 30 - It isn't over.

Casey & Tobias Masterlist C&T Wedding & Baby Stories Masterlist

“Well, I hear congratulations are in order,” a boisterous middle-aged man slapped Tobias on the back a little too hard. “At least to you, Carrick. Dr. MacTavish has our sympathies.”

Casey looked up from a folder with a forced smile as Tobias addressed the doctor.

“You’re a regular riot, Nieves.”

“You can’t really blame him,” Nurse Audrey jumped in. “No one ever expected the Tobias Carrick to go anywhere near the M word.”

“I don’t know,” Tobias asserted. “The old me, sure, you couldn’t say that. But anyone paying attention the past two years knows I’m crazy about Casey. If our engagement comes as a shock to anyone, all it tells me is they’re not very observant.”

Tobias locked eyes with Audrey, daring her to continue. But Audrey had grown bored, and with a shrug of her shoulders and a playful smirk, she was gone. So Tobias turned back to Dr. Nieves. “You have anything else to say?”

“Only congratulations to you both. I mean it.”

Tobias scooted closer to Casey as soon as they were alone. “You all right?” He whispered.

“Yeah. Those two are always snarky and believe themselves to be much more amusing than they are. Most people have been thrilled to hear our news.”

“Yeah,” he mumbled, leaning in even closer, “and wait until they hear the rest.”

“Tobias Carrick, I swear to god if you blow our cover.”

“I’m not,” he grinned. “I’m content sharing the engagement… for now.”

“Hmm, and speaking of sharing our engagement, have you gotten in touch with your brother yet?”

"Huh? Oh, yeah," Tobias answered, returning to completing his chart. "I left him a message."

"A new message? Or the same message from last week."

"It's a message. Don't worry, we'll get in touch, and even if we don't, my mom will fill him in."

"That's the problem, T. Do you really want your brother to learn we’re getting married from your Mom?"

"Casey," he smiled, reaching over to kiss her forehead. "You worry too much. Leave this to me. It'll be fine."

“Famous last words,” she sighed.

“Trust me.”

~~~~~

Several hours later, Tobias and Ethan were silently reviewing notes in the DT office when, in an unusual turn of events, Ethan broke the silence.

“You know I’ve been thinking about being in your bridal party.”

“What, getting cold feet?”

“No, it’s just the title of best man… it’s rather foolish. If I were truly the best man, wouldn’t it stand to reason that Casey would be marrying me? They should change the title.”

Tobias’s eyes shot up at his friend and boss, “You know that might be funnier if you hadn’t been involved with my future wife in the past,” Tobias snickered. “But I see your point. How about we just call you my honor attendant.”

“That works,” Ethan smiled. “I’m still surprised you asked me.”

“Asked you what?” Casey inquired when she came into the room.

“To be your best ma… uh.. honor attendant,” Ethan smiled.

Casey stood behind Tobias and gently rubbed his shoulders before continuing. 

“Why wouldn’t he? You’re his best friend and one of mine, too. We’re honored that you are our… honor attendant.”

Ethan tilted his head in the couple’s direction with a content look… there was a time, not long ago, when he could never have imagined the three of them ending up here. “Well, it really means a lot to me. It’s an honor I don’t take lightly.”

“Stop getting all sentimental,” Tobias teased. “If you’re acting this way now, wait until you hear our other news.”

“Other news?” Ethan scrunched his nose. “What other news?”

Tobias looked at Casey, who nodded in response to his wordless question. 

“Well, buddy, Casey and I talked, and we’d like you to be our baby’s godfather. Now, I know that God isn’t really your thing, and, well… babies aren’t really your thing… so if you don’t want….”

“Hun,” Casey tapped Tobias’s shoulder. “Stop rambling for a second so you can enjoy the moment. You’ve rendered Ethan speechless.”

He looked over to find his friend slackjawed. 

“Is that a good shocked, or an oh, shit, how do I get out of this shocked?” He asked.

“You’re… you’re sure?” Ethan stuttered.

“Hey, I get that you may not fully trust him, but I’m here. So you know it’s legit,” Casey beamed. 

“I’d be… I’d be honored,” Ethan jumped up from his seat to shake Tobias’s hand, but he was having none of that as he pulled him into a bro-hug. Then it was Casey’s turn for a long embrace.  

“This means you’re going to be even more of an overprotective pain in the ass, doesn’t it?” she giggled into his ear.

“Oh, you better believe it,” Ethan assured.

“Well, take it easy. We can always rescind.”

“Nope, this is a no-returns offer,” Ethan laughed. “Wow. I’m going to be a godfather.”

“Is that title OK?” Tobias teased. “Or do you take issue with that too?”

“You know, I’m really glad you chose me. This child’s going to need a positive influence to counterbalance you.”

“You’re a comedian, Ramsey,” Tobias laughed as his phone beeped. “Oh, it looks like I’ve got more good news to spread!”

“Who is it?” Casey asked.

“Jordan. He’s going to be in town for a shoot tomorrow and wants to get together.”

“Finally!” Casey beamed. “I’m glad he’ll finally know.”

~~~~~

The next evening, Casey had wedding errands to run with Sienna. After giving her a kiss goodbye, Tobias got some snacks together for his brother’s arrival.

“Hey, look what the wind blew in,” he grinned as he greeted his brother at the door.

“It’s good seeing you, T.”

“So good? Then why haven’t you returned any of my calls?”

“I knew I was coming to Boston,” Jordan shrugged. “So, I knew we’d be chatting soon enough.”

“Well, you could have filled me in on that!”

His brother smiled an intoxicating smile with a little shrug, and Tobias laughed. The trademark Carrick charm. They had both evaded a multitude of situations with that disarming technique. Did he think it was going to work on him? 

“No matter,” Tobias assured. “It works out perfectly. Casey’s running some errands, and I really wanted to talk to you alone.”

“Ooh! Something we can’t discuss in front of Casey. This took longer than I expected. I gave 6-8 months at best.”

“Oh yea, what’s that?” Tobias asked.

“You coming to the realization that a mundane, monogamous life wasn’t what they show in the brochures. So tell me, what’s her name?” Jordan smirked.

Tobias let out a scornful laugh. “As usual, you’re far off the mark, little brother. Her name is Casey, and my news is quite the opposite of your delusions.”   

“What’s the opposite? You’re already living the opposite. I never thought I’d see you settle down, and I’m not alone.”

“Well, I’m all about defying odds,” Tobias smiled. “So this will really blow you away… Casey and I are getting married.”

“Right!” Jordan laughed, “No, come on, really. What’s up?”

“What’s up is I’m getting married.”

Tobias waited in silence as he watched the shock on his brother’s face, but it wasn’t the happy sort of shock the news had elicited in others.

“You… but… you … you never wanted to get married? I think you once referred to it as a death sentence.”

“Yeah, well, growth is good. Look, I didn’t want a lot of things before Casey, but now… I want it all with her. I’m really happy, bro. Can you chill and be happy for me.”

“I… I can try, but… are you sure? I mean, Casey has always been sweet, she seems nice enough, but you haven’t even been together that long.”

“We’ve been together, in some capacity or another, for almost two years, Jordan. I didn’t meet her last week.”

“In some capacity…” Jordan scoffed as any trace of amusement washed away from Tobias’s face.

“Jordan, where the hell is this coming from? I get that my life has changed, but it’s changed for the better. Casey is the love of my life, and I’m over the moon. We both are. This is my choice… can you just say congratulations and move on like everyone else.”

“So you’ve already told Mom.”

“Yes, and she’s elated…She loves Casey.”

“Of course, she’s elated! She’s been dying for this moment since you hit puberty. She’s not thinking clearly. Casey is great, but….”

“But what?” Tobias seethed.

“She's not from our world, T. How do you think she’ll handle one of Mom’s dinners when she has to sit next to ambassadors?”

“Like a goddamn champ, that’s how. We’ve been to a few already, and while it’s not either of our scenes, she’s been amazing.”

“Not her scene… you sure about that?”

“Where are you heading with this baby brother? And I’d tread very lightly if I were you.”

“Look, it’s no secret that many women see us as a golden ticket. We live a very privileged life, and… well…tell me you have a prenup at least.”

“OK, cut it right there! What you don’t know about Casey is a lot. My wealth was actually a deterrent to her. Now, she will be your sister-in-law, and I expect you to treat her with the kindness and respect she deserves. Do I make myself clear?”

“Crystal,” Jordan said, shaking his head. “So when is this happening?”

“We’re getting married in six weeks.”

“In six… in six weeks? Are you out of your mind? Whose idea was this? Yours or hers? T, you’re my brother, and I have to look out for you… this is screaming get you to sign on the dotted line before you change your mind.”

“You're my brother? You sure as hell aren’t acting like it. Have you not seen me for the past two years? Do you not realize how in love we are? How happy I’ve been? Is it so impossible to believe that I might grow up one day and want this life?”

“Fine! Then get married in a couple years, a year even… six months. But six weeks? What the hell? Is she pregnant?”

Seething, Tobias didn’t respond immediately, and that gave Jordan the answer he needed.

“Oh my God,” he laughed. “Are you kidding me? That’s the oldest trick in the… Was this planned or a happy little surprise.”

Tobias reached the end of his rope. His face bright red as his patience wore completely away. 

“Let me make something clear to you, baby brother.  Casey is the woman I love, and the day we learned we were going to have a child together was the happiest day of my life. That little one already has my heart. They are the two most important people in my life! You will not talk about my baby like she’s a dirty little mistake, and you will not disrespect my fiance, or else….”  

“Or else what, big brother?”

“Or else you won’t have a place in our lives.”

“Isn’t that special,” Jordan smirked. “It wouldn’t be the first time, would it, brother?”

“The past is the past, Jordan. It’s resolved, and it has nothing to do with this.”

“You know what,” Jordan said, heading toward the door. “Maybe by some miracle, you’ll figure out a way to work this out, but I’ve known you your whole life, and I know better. There’s no place for me? Well, when this hits the fan, and you come looking for me? Don’t be so sure I’ll be there.”

“Noted.” Tobias spat. “That’s not going to happen, but after tonight, if it did… you’d be the last person I’d turn to. Now I want you to get the hell out of my house… our house… before Casey is back.”

Jordan held his hands up, “Don’t worry. I’m out. Good luck, T.”

Tobias let out a shuddering breath the minute the door closed. Clutching his hair in both hands and breathing through his teeth as he paced the floor. He considered punching a wall, but he thought better. But he needed to get the anger out. Normally, he’d turn to Casey, but the thought of sharing this with her…. He opened the sliding doors to the backyard with his phone in his hand, already dialing when he sat.

“Hello?”

“Yeah, let’s skip the small talk,” he breathed. “I just have one question.”

“OK, what’s that?” Ethan asked.

“How the fuck were you lucky enough to be an only child?”

“Well,” Ethan chuckled, “considering my mother's parenting skills, maybe they decided to only fuck up one life. Now, what’s going on?”

Over the next thirty minutes, Tobias relayed the story as Ethan listened patiently, talking his friend off the ledge a little at a time. When his breathing and heart rate returned to normal, and he no longer wanted to flip over a table, he asked Ethan for advice.

“Did I overreact?”

“Look, he’s your brother… but I punched a man out at a medical conference for less. I think you showed great restraint. Just wait until your mother gets a hold of this.”

“Yeah, well, that’s on him. What do I tell Casey? She’s going to be home any minute.”

“Be honest, but soften it. She doesn’t need to know all the details.”

“This is going to hurt her. I don’t like seeing her hurt….”

“You’re hurt too, and she won’t like that. You’re not getting through life without being hurt, T. But you two are a team. You’ll be all right.”

“Yeah,” Tobias smiled. “We will be. Hey, when the hell did you become so knowledgeable?”

“Me? I’m always knowledgeable when dealing with other's issues, but if it’s any consolation when it comes to my own? I’m still a mess.”

“Ain’t that always the way,” Tobias laughed. “I’m going to wait for Casey, but Ethan… thanks, man. It’s good to know I still have one brother by my side.”

“Always.  Let me know if you or Casey need anything. Including me taking a swing at your other brother.”

“Will do, man,” Tobias laughed. “Will do.”

Tobias went inside and sat on the couch, and after a short time, he heard Casey’s key slip in the front door… and he smiled. His Casey. Ethan was right. They had each other, and as long as they did, it would all be OK.

[folfar]

11, 35, 49, 52, 59, 63 and 74 of the fic writer prompt

okay so firsty sorry that this is ten billion years late....

11. Link your three favorite fics right now

Genuinely have not been reading fic recently so have three long-time faves instead!

Concordia - Ccainao3

Obviously this fic is genius, its so perfect, everyone loves it BUT I don't think it gets the recognition it deserves for having the best summary of perhaps all time:

He’d had hope, after those talks, that when the sting of Olympic loss had faded he and Auguste would be able to salvage something of their old friendship. This doesn’t seem likely now. Sorry I gave you a concussion when I checked you is one thing; sorry I beat you out for the gold medal and then had your little brother wear it while I fucked him is another.

DREAMY SIGH!!!! Also Auguste is so damaged <3 fic writer cocaine ao3 and i are on the same wavelength when it comes to grievous head injuries <3

like a solar flare in the rising sun - Lazulisong

This fic is like a little pearl, a perfect morsel, an absolute dream of a scene. Damen, helpless. The sense of character and place and tension is so well done - it's short and it doesn't need to be longer because it's so gorgeous the way it is.

stars in secret influence - crimson_adder

I am a big believer that a wip need not be 'finished' to be 'good' and this fic is PERFECT.

Anastasia AU that is SO funny, so clever, so well put together - and, rubbing my greedy little hands together, a perfectly executed amnesia fic. brain trauma!!!! However funny you think this is, it is funnier.

35. What is one essential thing to remember when writing a villain?

HMM! I guess that they have a motivation - they are a villain because they're acting towards a goal that is at odds with the protagonist? Sometimes the motivation is to be dick and the goal is to make the protag feel awful, though. It doesn't have to be complicated.

Oh and also just because someone is a monster doesn't mean you can't have fun with it! I LUV the segment in Sunblind chapter 21 when Auguste is in the bad-end dream, and his Uncle is like 'hey :) want me to be your anointed heir?' and auguste genuinely doesn't get it. that was funny to me, a simpleton.

49. Do you ever get rude reviews and how do you deal with them?

NO which is good because i am the most oversensitive person alive!

52. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I am trying to reply to every comment I get this year! it was a new year's resolution. I used not to but that was mostly a combo of being shy and having weird feelings about artificially inflating my comment count because I was a little fool. I'm trying to reply to everyone because I LOVE getting comments, it IS the only thing that motivates me, and i want to thank people <3 i luv everyone who comments on my fics hugely and unreasonably

also, another resolution this year was to leave a comment on every fic I finish, which everyone should do! I'm a hardliner, sorry.

59. Does anyone in your personal life know you write fic? if not, would you tell anyone?

yes actually! thought i would take it to my grave and then lockdown happened. now i update said friends when i hit a significant milestone. sometimes they ask me if 'that big thing you're writing' is finished yet and i have to say no, shamefaced.

63. Something you hate to see in smut.

okay so I already said d*ddy k*nk but incest or worse, untagged incest vibes. also i really don't like exhibitionism when the people being exhibitioned to aren't enthusiastically involved.

74. You’ve posted a fic anonymously. How would someone be able to guess that you’d written it?

asides, so many asides. random segues into character backgrounds - not so much much tangents as parabolas because I do think they tie into the main plot but... sometimes I honestly come up with a random snippet of character history and then have to write a fic around it because I like it so much. This is one that currently doesn't have a fic attached, but will eventually fit into the Brexit storyline* -

Laurent has a surprising passion for offal; no one can pin down if it’s because he’s French or if it’s some sort of animal rights thing about honouring each part of the creature.  If pressed Auguste will say it’s stubbornness, because Mama had tricked Laurent into thinking that pâté was ‘special jam’ when he was a truculent child. The meaty origins of this treat were revealed only when Laurent was caught feeding it to his pony Daisy (thereafter renamed Cannibal by all and sundry), and Laurent had decided to double down on his passion for it, possibly to cover up the fact that he had been feeding Cannibal-neé-Daisy regular jam for the past three years.  That’s why her teeth are so bad! Mama had exclaimed. All those vets bills, Papá had said mournfully, stroking his moustache.

oh lol i actually had to come back to this and add another tell which is of course: character has intensely real but not prophetic dream and/or character succumbs to a fugue state and/or character keeps going to sleep at strange times. you know when you think something is a universal experience and then people are like 'girl no what's wrong with you?' anyway. hashtag narcolepsy rep or w/e

AND 55 which you sent me in a different ask lmao: Of the characters you write for, which is your favorite? Has that choice been swayed at all by your followers/readers’ reactions to certain ones?

my secret second favourite character to write is a tie between Jokaste and Nicaise. Nicaise is self explanatory, because he is So Fun to write. I have a fic here from his POV! Please read it (jeb 'please clap' voice).

Jokaste is the darling of my heart. You can tell this because she has shown up in 0.01% of my stuff on Ao3 which is how I show my affection. She is however in like. All of my WiPs. Looking at my google drive nd of the 4 things I am actively (cough cough) working on now she has a prominent role in 3 of them. No one asked for this! But I am so intrigued by her. Her canon characterisation is literally just that line from blades of glory when will ferrel goes "nobody knows what it means! but its provocative!"

here is a snip from one of said wips:

Jokaste, as if feeling the weight of his annoyance, rolled her head around to look at him. “You should try dermarolling,” she said, apropos of nothing, because she was awful. “What? You need to start stimulating collagen production. You’re looking a bit -” she made a dismissive gesture around the cheek area “- sunken.” Laurent communicated with his eyes that he would always loathe her.

[liminalmemories21]

3, 5 and 20 for the fanfic asks :)

Thanks for the asks!

#3. Do you anticipate writing for a new fandom this year? Which one?

Hmm, probably not. There are like 500 words of a 911 AU sitting in my draft file that's mostly just the spawn of a friend and I talking about what the 911 crew would look like if they worked in a public library because 90% of the people I know are librarians. (Bobby is the Library Director, Hen & Chimney work in Reference, Buck is the lone guy who works in the Children's Room, Lena is the Teen Librarian, Ravi is in library school and working at the library part time - they all hate Circ - look this is much funnier if you spend too much of your life occupied with the internal politics of public libraries, I promise - Eddie is obviously the hot single dad with the cute kid who checks out a stack of books are tall as he is every week).

And, more than that of a vague crossover 911/Lonestar idea where Eddie and Carlos knew each other when they were kids - because, I don't know they're both from Texas? But I don't know that either one of them are really going anywhere.

#5. Which WIP is first on your list to complete this year? Will you post a snippet?

ah ha ha ha ha ha. [ahem] I have no idea? Maybe more of the Secrets series? Everything else in my WIP file is in the infancy stage where it's more in the stage of [something should probably go here] than actual content. I don't tend to have more than one story I'm actively working on at a time because I can't split my attention well.

But, snippet from an untitled sequel to a thing I'm not willing to name yet - and no promises it'll make it into the final version.

She raises her eyebrows, "One, there are nights TK doesn't spend at your place?"  He scowls at her, because no not really, and only because he hasn't gotten up the nerve to ask TK to move in yet.  She grins, "Two, how are your father-in-law's adventures on grindr going?"

He makes a face, "My boyfriend's dad is not on grindr," he pauses, "probably."  Shakes his head, "He's trying some new executive dating app, I try not to know more than I need to."  Mitchell snorts.

#20. Any plans to work on original fiction this year?

Unlikely shading into almost definitely not.

[sugarybitterness]

favourite avenger - wandanat x daughter!r

series masterlist

a/n: this was supposed to be a fluffy blurb, in the end it became 1.7k … and it is not very fluffy, gets a little angsty and talks a little about how the kids lost their parents so:”) this is the kids’ first halloween with the team, r hasn’t fully warmed up to the idea of calling wandanat her parents yet but this chapter will mark the beginning of their growing relationship. also i know this note is getting lengthy but i would like to apologise for how messy this series is going to be lol, i will most likely not post stuff in chronological order just random ideas i have for this particular au:”) anyways let’s go!

tw: talks of death, accidents

ages: kate and yelena are 20, peter is 18, y/n and cooper are 8, lila is 6, ellie and morgan are 4 while nate is 6 months! fuck canon compliance amirite?

“alright so you can be anyone or anything you want for halloween. what do you little ones have in mind?” tony asked the three children who were all gathered in morgan’s playroom.

“spidey!” morgan cheered loudly, holding up her spider-man plush toy. you chuckled at that, noting how morgan was even dressed in spider-man pyjamas. tony’s offended face made everything even funnier in your opinion.

“what? no ironman?” the billionaire huffed, sighing when morgan repeated her earlier answer.

“anyone?” ellie turned to look at you, gaze questioning. you nodded in response.

“last time we had halloween i think you were dressed as a puppy, so that i could be dorothy from wizard of oz.” you replied, your hand fiddling with the pages of the book on your lap. which was, your obvious favourite, wizard of oz. it was one of your last few memories of your biological family, arguably your most cherished memory.

“hmm..” ellie mumbled thoughtfully as she eyed the various avenger toys in front of her that she and morgan had been playing with earlier. picking up the thor one, she turns back to tony, “i be thor?”

“that can be arranged. what about you mini maximoff?” tony turns to you, as he taps away on his tablet, arranging for a mini spider-man (spider-woman?) and god of thunder suit to be made. you knew that ellie would absolutely love the cape.

“i’m not sure, maybe i’ll decide another time?” you shrugged, returning your attention back to the book in your lap.

“alright just not too late yeah?”

-

later that evening was the monthly avengers dinner. meaning that everyone would come to the compound and tony would order in food, usually shawarma.

“so barton kids! i already have two mini avengers for halloween, any one of you want to dress up as your dad?” tony asked when the chatter at the table had reached a lull.

“i want to be captain america!” cooper cheered excitedly, earning himself a fist bump from steve.

lila, who had been in a conversation with kate seemed to be in deep thought.

“since i was aunty nat last year, maybe i’ll be kate this year! can i get a bow and arrow? please?”

tony nodded at both the kids requests before turning to look at nate, but realised that the young child probably wouldn’t be able to actually answer him, so he looks to laura instead.

“maybe he can be clint, so that at least one of his kids will dress up as him this time.” laura teased, causing the table to erupt in laughter while clint groaned.

“even mini stark and mini romanoff didn’t choose their parents.” tony shook his head as he pulled up a hologram to take a look at the suits, smirking when the kids rushed over in excitement.

he put up the costumes from earlier that afternoon, and made it so that a holographic version of morgan and ellie appeared on screen in the outfits.

“ah! the little one has chosen me, a wise choice.” thor boomed in excitement, sending an exaggerated wink to ellie who giggled happily.

“oh wow, that’s me- i mean my costume! that’s so cool, thank you morgan.” peter had a wide smile on his face, which somehow got even bigger when morgan clambered down from pepper’s lap to tackle him into a hug.

throughout all this, you continued to quietly eat your food, eyeing the hologram thoughtfully.

“malysh?” wanda’s soft voice broke through your thoughts and you turned to look at her.

“not being an avenger for halloween?” she asked you, a hand going up to smooth down the flyaway hairs that escaped your braids.

before you could provide an answer, your attention was taken away by clint’s next comment.

“did all of you pick your favourite avenger?”

your eyes widened and you were quick to glance over at ellie who, much to your horror nodded her head yes. natasha’s follow-up comment made your heart sink to your stomach.

“ouch, am i not your favourite milaya?”

“no!” the word tumbled out of your mouth forcefully, effectively silencing everyone, their attention turning to you.

“malysh?” wanda questioned worriedly, her hand rubbing up and down your back.

“no, nat is your favourite. isn’t she?” you directed the question at ellie, giving her a slight glare.

“but.. thor-“

“no! it’s nat!” you stressed again, ignoring the way ellie’s eyes filled with tears.

“malysh, calm down please.” wanda’s hand continued to rub your back, sharing a worried gaze with natasha.

“no, your favourite is nat, mine is wands! they’re the one that gave us a home! don’t be an ungrateful brat!” ellie had started crying then, not understanding why you were scolding her. natasha was quick to scoop her into her arms and bring her away.

“y/n!” wanda scolded, shocked at the harmful words you threw out at your younger sister. her arms went to pick you up, and soon you were back in her room.

wanda set you down on the bed gently, crouching directly in front of you. your breath was quick, your hands were trembling and your eyes were glistening with unshed tears. before she could even get a word in, you cried out.

“please don’t send us back! we’ll be better, i’ll be better i promise. please, please she’s little she doesn’t know any better.. please don’t leave us, please!” tears had started to stream down your cheek, your breath quickening even more.

“breathe malysh, you’re okay, ellie’s okay. no one is angry, no one is sending anyone away okay? can you copy my breaths please?” wanda grasped your shaking in hers, pressing it to her chest. she exaggerated her next few breaths, doing her best to ground you.

“no one is leaving, you’ll stay right here okay? with me and with nat. you’re going to be safe here like we promised.” wanda continued to murmur out reassurances and comfort.

slowly, your breathing started to regulate.

“hold.. please.” your voice was so soft and shaky that wanda barely understood your words, but the hand reaching to grasp onto her shirt told her all she needed to know.

she could talk to you later.

she gathered you up in her arms, your arms snaked around her waist as you placed your head on top of her chest, sighing softly when you finally heard the rhythmic thumping of wanda’s heartbeat. you snuggled even closer to the sokovian when you felt her hand gently take out your braid, her fingers running through your now curly locks.

once you had fully calmed down, wanda spoke softly, “would you like to tell me what that was all about malysh?“

your fingers curled into her shirt, as you tried to sort out whatever you had been feeling earlier.

“scared.” was your short reply.

“of?” wanda gently prompted, her free hand going to tilt your head up so she could look at you.

“ellie.. ellie said nat was not her favourite,” your voice shook with emotions as you recalled the events of the last time you saw your parents.

“i told my mum and dad i didn’t like them, because they wouldn’t let me wear my dorothy costume to school. so i ignored them and that night they never came home. they’re gone and-“ a choked sob fell from your lips, “it was all my fault.”

“oh malysh..” wanda’s heart broke as you started to sob again, the guilt from all those years ago coming back to crush you.

“malysh, you were only four- i can promise you that whatever happened to them wasn’t your fault okay?” wanda soothed you gently, but you just shook your head in denial.

“it is!” you wailed, your body shaking with sobs as you tried to explain. “the- the police said they were coming home from a- from a bakery. there was pastries in the car- for me! because i was sad and they bought me my favourites! if i hadn’t told them i didn’t like them they- they wouldn’t go get those food!”

you buried your face into wanda’s shirt as you continued to cry, and the witch debated whether or not she wanted to tell you the truth, the truth that she and natasha had found out after months of digging.

to be frank, she wasn’t sure how well you would handle it but, you deserved to know the truth. you were still a child, why should you be made to carry such a heavy burden?

“malysh, your parents death wasn’t an accident. it was pre-planned.”

“what?” you hiccuped out, your face turning to look up at wanda again.

“your parents.. they were tangled up with some bad people malysh. we don’t know how they got away from them, but they did. it made the bad people really, really angry. so, no matter where your parents went that night, be it their usual route home, or the detour to the bakery, they wouldn’t have come home. it wasn’t your fault okay?” wanda explained, her heart aching all over again as she saw your various emotions flicker across your face.

guilt to relief, because if what wanda was saying is true, then there was nothing you could’ve done differently.

relief soon turned into anger, anger at the world, at the people who ripped your parents away from you. the people you were almost certain that took you.

you didn’t know how to handle all those emotions, so you just continued to cry. wanda, who hadn’t expected anything else, continued to sooth you, murmuring apologies and sweet nothings into your hair.

soon all your negative feelings gave way to a feeling of comfort. you took in a few shuddering breaths as you soaked in the feelings of being held by wanda. if you tried hard enough, it felt like your mother holding you all over again.

but, your mother was gone. instead you were with wanda, sweet wanda who had done nothing but make sure you were settling in, who seemed to understand you better than yourself sometimes.

so as you started to doze off, the magnitude of today’s events catching up with you, you decided that you would tell tony your halloween costume tomorrow.

and maybe after you apologised to ellie, you’d ask natasha if she could braid your hair just like hers to go with your scarlet witch costume for halloween. so that you could be like two of your favourite people.

your mommy and your mama.

[snickerdoodlles]

grasshoppers and elephants - pt.1

welcome to pt.1 of my silliest fic for this fandom yet. the premise: Pat & Pran’s friends find out about their relationship. and instead of interrupting PatPran’s honeymoon with their egos, they deal with their bullshit on their own time and decide to become the world’s best worst wingmen. many shenanigans ensue.

i actually started writing this after ep4, and somehow its still growing. was hoping to post the full thing in one go, but i’m going to need the strength for ep 8-12 so! here’s the first ~3.5k, where Korn, Chang, and Mo find out and realize they’re going to have to make the ultimate sacrifice: they’re going to have to befriend the architecture gang. Pat better appreciate them for this

story title comes from the thai idiom “riding an elephant to catch a grasshopper,” which refers to when someone puts a whole lot of effort into something for minimal return.

hope u enjoy!! ♥

(:(  ):)

Korn, Chang, and Mo are on the other side of the city on a hunt. Officially, they’re looking for some curry house with supposedly legendary dumplings. In truth, Mo had been invited by his new hot date and her boyfriend, and Chang and Korn are tagging along to either be his wingmen or his embarrassments, depending on which is funnier. It’s the setup to a promising night.

If only they could find the place.

“Are you sure she gave you the right address?” Korn complains.

“Tao wouldn’t lie,” Mo protests, reentering the address into his phone for the nth time. He holds it up above his head with a pout, looking like a dumb kitten in the rain as he waits for maps to fail to load because the signal is crap in this part of town. “She and her boyfriend were really into me.”

Chang hums, judgemental as hell, and Mo smacks him without looking away from his phone. “I’d believe you an hour ago, but now my feet are tired.”

Mo pouts at his phone, fingers flying. “So much for the world’s best wingmen,” he mutters.

“We also promised to be embarrassments if it was funnier,” Korn reminds him. Mo doesn’t react, and Korn and Chang exchange sympathetic grimaces behind Mo’s back.

“I can feel your pity and I hate you both.”

Korn rolls his eyes and dodges Mo’s swipe at him. “Can’t you just call Mae for tonight or something? A wiseman says it’s better to have the bird in hand than two in the bushes.”

Mo actually raises his head to glare at him for that. “It’s not about that. And don’t steal my shtick when I’m down.”

Korn traps him in a headlock, attracting many a strange look as Mo spits curses at him. “But you’re feeling better now, hmm?”

“No, you asshole--”

Chang snickers and rubs Mo’s head, hard enough to hurt, completely ruining Mo’s coiffed date hair. Mo yells and twists and slaps Korn’s sides until he lets go, laughing the whole time. “I hate you both,” Mo mutters as he tries to fix his hair, but he can’t fully hide the smile pulling at his lips.

Korn just grins. “Just text them so you can meet up another day and we can go back. I’m tired and we don’t have any friends on this side of town.”

“Maybe you don’t,” Mo mutters, still fixing his hair, but he pulls out his phone to text the couple and that’s good enough for Korn. Chang’s already pulling up directions back home. “Do we want to go to one of the usual spots, or just call it a night?”

Korn wrinkles his nose--his feet are sore because he wore his fashionable sandals with negative three millimeters of padding like an idiot, and he had mostly come out tonight for Mo--but then he perks up with a second wind. “Hey, do you think Pat will be done with that thing by now?”

Chang and Mo both brighten as well. Pat had begged off tonight, citing that that architecture president is on his ass for something to do with that play he’s in and he’d be too tired to go across town tonight. But if they’re making new plans… “I’ll text him now!”

They slowly migrate to the street corner, waiting for the maps to load on Chang’s phone. Korn idly scans the streets as he waits for Pat’s reply, eyes sliding over the many neon store signs, bougie vintage cars clogging the streets, Pat loitering outside a convenience store--

Korn whips around so fast he gives himself whiplash. “Pat!”

“Eh?!”

Chang flops against Korn’s shoulder, head cocked in confusion. “What’s he doing way out here?”

Korn shrugs. “What are any of us doing out here?” Mo pouts at him and Korn waves him off with a scoff, he didn’t mean it like that. “Who cares! He’s here and the night’s still young.”

Chang doesn’t join in his enthusiasm, still frowning. “Could he be out here with Pran for…something about the play?” he asks, even though he sounds doubtful.

Korn clicks his tongue and tries to drag them both down the street. “Then all the more reason to join him, he probably needs a rescue!” And yep, sure enough, Pran walks out of the store and holds out an ice cream to Pat. “See, we should--” Pat thanks Pran with a kiss, and Korn’s brain abruptly screeches to a halt.

A phone clatters to the ground somewhere beside him, but Korn’s still trying to get his brain back online as he watches Pran shove Pat away with a laugh, only to tuck himself under Pat’s arm and kiss Pat’s cheek. Mo sags against him in shock as Pat peppers Pran’s cheek in kisses, and Korn’s own knees wobble dangerously.

What. The. Fuck.

“Did… did we just…” Hallucinate? Step into an alternative universe? Mistake some random stranger for our best friend kissing another guy that looks like the class president of our rival faculty? Korn’s brain stutters again and he sways to the side, off-kilter.

Korn’s phone dings loudly, making all three of them startle and nearly knock each other down like dominos. Mo and Chang press against his shoulders and they all watch together as Korn unlocks his screen with stiff fingers and Pat’s message loads.

nah, not tonight. im tired, im just gonna go to bed when im done with pran

A second message pops up under it. u guys have fun tho! film the stupid shit for me, it says cheerfully.

“Did. Did he just--”

“Damn, get it Pat,” Chang murmurs, a little dumbstruck but also a little awestruck, and Korn’s own shock melts away enough for him to realize how pissed he is.

“He’s blowing us off for architecture?!” Korn demands, glaring down the street with half a mind to go march up to Pat and demand some answers. But Pat and Pran are long gone, and Chang gets his arm around his neck before he can try to track their steps. “What the hell, Chang!”

Chang frowns at him, lazy blinks slow with confusion. “What’s the matter with you?”

Korn gapes at him, not even knowing where to begin. “Uh, he’s lying to us?!”

Mo takes Korn’s phone, frowning down at it and scratching behind his ear. “Did he?”

And, well, no. Pat didn’t. Everything he said could very much be the truth.

Korn’s still pissed.

“But he-- They--!”

“I need a drink,” Chang announces abruptly. Korn’s friend is a genius.

“Yes, then we can figure out what the hell just happened.”

Chang just grunts and, arm still around Korn’s neck, drags him off in the opposite direction of where Pat and Pran disappeared and into the first bar they stumble upon, Mo trailing behind them in a daze the whole way. Chang drops him in a seat and gets the three of them the bar’s cheapest beer and the measly bowl of free nuts. The beer tastes like watered down slop, but Korn can’t even seem to mind as his brain slowly processes what they’d just learned. Mo stares into the weak foam of his beer, unseeing as his brain works at a million miles an hour. Chang just munches on the free nuts with a frown. Korn doesn’t even call him out for being a hoarder this time, still stuck on their newfound revelation.

“Pat’s dating Pran,” Korn finally says. He’s still not completely processing it. Seriously, Pran? Ultra serious, uptight, kind of a bitch, leader of their rival faculty, Pran?

“We don’t know that he’s dating him,” Mo says hesitantly. Irritation flares in him, even if Korn knows this is just Mo’s thought process, exhausting every detail until he can see the full picture.

“Pat doesn’t do casual,” Korn retorts. Pat’s a flirt, and he certainly thinks of himself as a playboy, but the idiot doesn’t know the meaning of half-hearted. Korn once watched him pay for and attend six weeks of knitting classes just because a girl he had flirted with made an offhand comment about loving knitted scarfs. Nevermind that it’s always more humid than hell and never drops below 22 degrees around here, Korn still has at least one lumpy scarf and a tangled mess of yarn Pat had claimed was a mitten from that.

Mo trails his finger around the rim of his glass, brow wrinkled in thought. “But Pat’s not the sort to secretly date someone.”

And isn’t that just the thing? Because Pat doesn’t keep secrets. He wears his heart on his sleeve and broadcasts what he thinks to the world. It’s part of why they’re friends in the first place. Korn shifts, gut twisting unpleasantly. Probably the shitty beer. He takes another sip, grimacing at the taste.

“Pran’s not even his type,” Korn mutters, even though that’s really, really not the fucking point.

Chang scoffs, angry, and Korn realizes he’s been weirdly silent this whole time. “What?”

Chang doesn’t respond, lips curled in a scowl. Mo scoots his chair back a hair, eyes wide and shoulders tense as he looks between Chang and Korn warily. Korn stomps down the urge to fidget. “What.”

A muscle in Chang’s jaw flexes as he chews over his words--probably waiting for Korn to move the conversation along like usual, until whatever he’s thinking about is irrelevant and he can rejoin with a witty one-liner. But irritation burns in Korn’s blood, making him shifty and snappish, and the thought of another friend holding back on him is abruptly worse than any trepidation over what has Chang in a fit.

“What.”

Chang glares at the table, hand curled into a tight fist. “Pat doesn’t have to tell us shit.”

Silence rings around them.

“...Huh?”

That tight muscle in Chang’s jaw flexes again. “Pat,” Chang enunciates slowly, as thought Korn’s fucking three, “doesn’t have to tell us shit. You’re not his mother.”

Silence stretches between them, strained and tense. Mo’s chair squeaks as he shifts, palms raised placatingly. “Uh. Guys?”

Korn’s eyes narrow in a glare. “He’s dating Pran.”

Chang glares back at him, meeting his eyes for the first time since they saw Pat. He clears his throat deliberately. “So.”

“Guys--”

“No,” Korn says, leaning forward. His head buzzes like a whirlwind. “I wanna hear what this guy has to say.” He sneers at Chang’s glare. “Who’s side are you even on?”

Chang slams his hands on the table, halfway out of his seat, sending Mo scrambling back with a yelp, even throwing Korn off-kilter as his usually laid back friend glares at him with the air of a thunderstorm.

“What sides?” Chang spits, low and furious. “Pat’s our friend.”

Korn scoffs. “And he’s keeping secrets from all of us,” he snaps back. Korn raises his eyebrows, mind spinning in a new direction. “Unless--”

“Korn, for once in your life, shut up before you make shit worse,” Chang says, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Obviously Pat didn’t tell me, how could he have told any of us?!” Korn slumps back, stunned, but Chang barrels on. “You really think he could tell us he liked Pran without us overreacting? Without us telling him he’s an idiot, that there’s no way the guy’s his type, or even just trust us not to go too far taunting Pran like dickheads?”

“So what,” Korn sputters, trying to find his footing, “you don’t care he’d never tell us?”

Chang’s face falls, looking so disgustingly disappointed that Korn’s protests die in a lump in his throat. His jaw flexes again, before the fight abruptly drains from him and he just looks irritated. “Pat is my friend,” he says, in a voice strangely grave and final, “Fuck off until you feel like being one.”

“I--”

But it’s too late, Chang storms out without a backwards glance. Mo, still wide-eyed and strung tighter than a wire, gives Korn a wary glance as he stiffly rises to his feet. “I’m-- I’m gonna go check on him,” he says quickly, and then he’s gone too, Korn left alone and gawking at three empty seats.

A soft but pointed cough beside him breaks him out of his stupor. Korn shakes himself out of it and stares dumbly up at the server looming over him with a strained service smile.

“You haven’t paid for those drinks yet.”

“...Eh?” Korn blinks at the abandoned beers blankly, still trying to process whatever the hell just happened, until the server starts tutting pointedly.

Korn shakes his head, irritated. “Assholes,” he mutters as he slaps some bills on the table and leaves. He ignores the server protesting he’s overpaid, stumbling out onto the bright street and taking deep breaths of the muggy, oil sharp smells of the city. He closes his eyes for a moment, the city too loud for his crowded thoughts, then picks a direction and starts stumbling home.

(:( ):)

Korn finds Chang and Mo during lunch the next day. They’re huddled over a secluded courtyard table and their hushed conversation dies as soon as Korn’s in earshot. Korn sits at the table, ignoring Chang’s pointed stare and Mo’s anxious fidgeting.

Korn eyes the empty space next to him. “Is Pat joining us for lunch?”

Chang and Mo share a look. Korn resists the urge to make a face. “He said he had to go check the rehearsal schedule and he’d catch up later.”

Yeah, sure. Cause that couldn’t have been an email.

Chang raises an eyebrow in a challenge. Korn ignores it. “So,” he says to the tense silence, not nervous, “How do we get Pat to tell us?”

Chang narrows his eyes. “Korn--” he warns.

Korn tugs his ear, irritated. “That’s not what I meant!”

He fidgets under Chang’s scrutiny. Mo’s no help, determinedly staring at the table top with his straw in his mouth, even though he’s too nervous to drink anything. Korn starts to tense after a minute of this—it had been a long walk home last night, and Korn’s still too worn from it to deal with any interrogations, especially when he’s still a jumbled mess of feelings over this mess. But then Chang suddenly relaxes and nods his forgiveness. Mo sighs loudly, which Korn kind of wants to scowl at but is mostly just relieved.

“That’s what we were just talking about,” Mo says in a rush, leaning forward eagerly.

Korn raises his eyebrows, impressed. “You already have a plan?”

“Eh?” Chang grimaces and waggles his hand. “More of an idea than a plan. The biggest thing is we’re gonna have to be friends with architecture.”

Korn blinks at him, stone-faced.

Mo looks at Chang nervously before gently shaking Korn’s shoulder. “What?” he asks, too nervous to be casual, “It’s not like you’ll miss the bruises.”

Korn punched his brow. “No, not that. Just. Trying to picture how we’d do that.”

Chang and Mo sigh and Korn makes a face at both of them. He’s not that bad. “Yeah, we’re stuck on that too,” Chang says glumly.

Mo grimaces, pointedly not looking at either of them. “We should probably start with an apology.”

Korn scoffs, earning warning looks from both of them. “No, seriously,” he says to Chang’s frown, “How would we react if they just came up to us one day and apologized out of the blue?”

Chang grimaces. “...We’d think it was a setup. Or just start throwing punches”

Mo puts his hands in prayer against his face and takes a few deep breaths. Chang’s head falls onto the table with a loud thump like the drama queen he is.

“New plan, we just ply Pat with beer and reassurances until he cracks,” Chang says into the wood, making Korn snort in disgust. Oh sure, when he suggests something like that…

Mo smacks Chang upside the head. Korn massages his brow as though that might help the growing headache. “How the fuck are we going to keep those assholes from picking fights?”

“Well, for starters, you’re going to have to ignore Wai,” Mo says wryly.

“But--!”

“I will start quoting wisemen,” Mo threatens. Korn shuts his mouth. “You two are like oil and fire. Just ignore him, walk away when you need to, and that’ll stop half the fights.” Mo falters under Korn’s glare. “...forty percent?” he offers generously.

Chang snorts and mutters something undoubtedly rude. And they’re probably right, as annoying as that is. It’s just that Wai is so...Wai. He’ll stand in Korn’s general vicinity and half the time Korn will think, That face needs a punch, and next thing you know, they’re both on the ground screaming. And if Wai’s temper is anything to go by, the feeling is mutual.

“What if he insults me?” Korn protests halfheartedly.

“Suck it up,” the two say simultaneously, entirely unsympathetic.

Korn clicks his tongue in disgust. Pat better appreciate this.

Chang huffs, ruffling his bangs, and muses, “We’d be better off if we were in smaller groups. We’re less likely to fight if there’s fewer of us.”

Korn opens his mouth.

“We just said we’d keep you and Wai separate.”

Korn closes his mouth.

Mo drums his fingers as he thinks. “We’re going to need an excuse to find time to befriend architecture. Showing up at their faculty’s just going to lead to blood.”

The three of them grimace at each other. “…We could destroy another bus stop?” Korn suggests after a minute of crickets.

“Do you have something against Professor Pichai?”

“Yeah, it’d probably ruin Pat’s confidence in us,” Korn agrees glumly.

“Again, do you have something against Professor Pichai?”

Mo slumps in his seat. “Well, I have no idea where to start. Not unless you picked up hypnotism in class.”

“You’ve clearly never sat through one of Dr. Pom’s lectures,” Korn mutters, getting a sharp kick from Chang for insulting his favorite professor. Korn ignores him, fingers drumming the table.

Chang frowns, chin still on the table. “...We are on the rugby team with Wai.”

Korn’s fingers come to a stop. He breathes out slowly, tight with nerves. “We just said--”

“He’s on scholarship,” Mo says abruptly. “I overheard him talking to Pran. He’s not going to start a fight if we’re doing something with the team.”

Korn seriously doubts Wai would remember or even give a shit if he’s pissed off enough, but that’s not even the big problem with that plan.

“He’s not going to like us cornering him,” Korn points out, clicking his tongue dismissively.

“...Unless,” Chang muses, straightening up with a dangerously thoughtful look.

“You’re scheming and I don’t like it,” Korn says flatly.

“You love my schemes,” Chang retorts. “We--”

“No, stop, I have a headache just thinking about it.” Chang pouts and Korn rubs his head wearily. Chang’s schemes work out more often than not, he just has a terrible penchant for mischief and no reasonable grasp on collateral damage. Last time Chang had looked at him like that, Korn had been trapped in the shopping mall overnight with a dead phone and a single stick of gum. His mother still brings up the incident any time he misses a visit home.

Not that the consequences have ever deterred Chang before, Korn thinks sourly as Chang’s pout goes slack and his eyes sparkle with ideas.

“But maybe if we-- Ohh we could-- Hmm…”

Korn buries his face in his hands. “Please. Please shut up.”

Chang opens his mouth.

“I’ll go along with your scheme, just text me the details after you’ve made your plans.”

Chang shuts his mouth, eyes sparkling devilishly. Korn hates him so much.

“I want to know Chang’s schemes,” Mo announces, because all of Korn’s friends are assholes. He sobers and adds, “I still don’t know how we’re going to make friends with the others though. Louis is just as bad as Wai.”

Chang rubs his hands together gleefully, but Korn holds up a hand before he can say shit and make his headache worse. “Just focus on Wai first, worry about the rest after. There won’t be any point in making a bunch of plans those assholes could ruin anyways.”

“Ah-ah!” Chang scolds, wagging his finger like Korn’s mother. “We won’t make new friends if you go around calling them assholes behind their backs.”

“Yeah,” Mo adds, sounding like his grandpa on a tear, “Wait ‘til we’re friends so you can insult them to their face..”

“Ayyy, up top!” Chang and Mo high five, grinning like idiots.

“Ugh.”

(:( ):)

[yourlocalmaraudersbabe]

Hiya! May I request a sirius x reader imagine where the marauders are all hanging out by the black lake. James or remus (probably James tbh) pranks the reader by throwing them in the black lake. What he didn't know is that they are scared of deep dark waters and almost drown and sirius saves them? Fluffy fluffy ending please?

I hope you have a good day!~

💜

“You’re right, nobody can be as lovely as me”

Summary: James thinks it’s funny to throw you in the water and Sirius is there to pull you out

A/N: omg look who decided to post :=)

Warnings: drowning/not be able to swim and there's like one swear word

Word Count: 1401

Masterlist + Characters and ships I write for

Requests are always open <3

Fluff Dialogue Prompt List

Join my taglist here!

“Please enjoy your dinner and relax this evening!”

You sat with your friends, directly next to Sirius while Dumbledore’s voice boomed through the Great Hall, food appearing down the table in front of you.

There were only a couple days left of your sixth year at Hogwarts, the summer holiday so close you could reach out and grab it.

“So what are we doing after dinner?” James asked.

You grabbed a spoonful of mashed potatoes, starting to make a plate of food for yourself. “How about we hang out by the lake?”

James quickly swapped his plate for yours, leaving you to give him a lovely middle finger.

“Prongs,” Sirius chastised as you laughed. You laid a head on his shoulder, telling him it was harmless.

Your boyfriend pushed his own plate over in front of you, urging you to sit up and eat.

James shrugged his shoulders, promptly digging into the wonderful food in front of him.

“Y/n,” Lily started. “I really like that idea. We can all go—”

“But y/n never swims,” Peter cut her off, nearly whining.

“Yeah, it’s not fun without you,” James added. “Why can’t you just go in for even a little bit?”

You glared at the two of them. “Absolutely not.”

Sirius grabbed your hand under the table, squeezing it before placing a kiss to the top of your head. “You better not have just gotten crumbs in my hair,” you whispered, shoving his shoulder.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You stepped outside, hand in hand with Sirius as the warm glow of the sun setting lay a blanket on the world around you. Your friends had already made their way out here, the only reason you two are arriving now is because of the boy next to you.

“C’mon, I need to go back to my dorm. I wanna bring a towel in case I decide to go in.”

“Well do you want to swim or not?” you asked.

“I haven’t decided yet,” he laughed.

“You are the most indecisive person I know, Sirius,” you took his hand, following him up to Gryffindor tower.

“Am not.”

“You are,” you laughed. “Well I’m deciding to lay out, maybe read a book. I’ve also decided that I’m stealing a blanket.”

“Hey, stop rubbing your decision making skills in.”

“Oh, and I’ve decided I’m stealing a jumper.”

He gave a dramatic frown.

You gave a quick kiss on the side of his cheek as he stepped through the portrait hole.

“Well can I at least pick which jumper you steal?”

“Hmm, I don’t know if you’d be able to decide which one.”

You spotted your friends and they waved, casting you smiles from the lake.

Sirius dropped your hand, skipping a couple steps to be in front of you, walking backwards.

“I have a question for you, y/n.”

“Ask away,” you sighed, a smile curling at the corners of your mouth.

“Be honest. Would you still give me a hug if I were to have just gotten out of the water? A kiss perhaps?”

You burst out laughing. “No. No way. Not when I’m perfectly dry.”

“Well maybe we’ll have to test out that theory.”

You deadpanned. “You’re hilarious.”

“I am, aren’t I?”

You spread out your blanket, lying down and soaking in what the sun had to offer before setting completely.

Sirius made his way to the water before the light had disappeared entirely. You closed your eyes, enjoying some much needed rest.

You didn’t know how long you’d been asleep for, and it didn’t really matter now. All you knew that you were hovering over the lake. You had to be dreaming.

You couldn’t tell how high up you were, you were barely able to make out the silhouettes of your friends.

“Ha-ha, very funny!” you called out. “You can put me down now.”

James’s voice echoed up to you. “What? You don’t want to come in for a little swim with us?”

You looked down and saw his little grasp on his wand as he controlled how far you were from falling.

“James, please put me down on the grass.”

You could hear it in his voice. You could hear how he expected this to just be a harmless little prank of his.

“But it will be much funnier if you plop into the water. Just a small plink.”

He didn’t even give you time to respond before you were plummeting into the lake. Your friends were further away than they seemed to be. James had thrown his head back in laughter, ignoring you. Ignoring how fear took over your body, making it nearly unbearable to relax and just float. It was hard to breathe, you could barely even cough as you struggled to stay above water.

“James? What the fuck?” Sirius was at your side in a matter of moments, his arms wrapped around you as you clung onto him for dear life. You had gotten yourself into a coughing fit, as soon as you were steady afloat. You didn’t know if the tears streaming down your face were from embarrassment or genuine fear.

“I feel pathetic,” you finally whispered to Sirius as he swam to the grass.

“Everyone has something that gets to them like this. James didn’t know,” he whispered back while he lifted you out of the water, pulling himself up after. “Are you alright? Can you breathe okay? Do you need to see Madam Pomfrey?”

You sat up, wiping at the tears from in your eyes, your hands moving to fumble with the grass blades in front of you. “I think I’m alright.”

Sirius called for a towel with a near perfect wordless spell. He caught it before it flew right into the back of your head, wrapping it around your body snuggly. He ran his fingers over your face, wiping away the droplets of water, pushing your hair back out of the way. “I’m really sorry about all this, y/n,” he said. “I wish I would’ve seen what was happening.”

The overwhelming feeling had pooled tears in your eyes. You slouched down, leaning into his side. “No, it’s alright. It’s not your fault,” you choked out a laugh, wiping under your eyes.

He took your hand, curling his fingers around yours, rubbing gently against the top. “Want me to go get James? Rough him up a bit?”

A smile crept upon your face. “No, it’s alright.”

A genuine laugh bubbled up in your throat. He hugged you tight, speaking quietly. “How about we go back up to my dorm? Get settled in some warm clothes?”

“I like that idea,” you said. “But only if you carry me.”

And that’s exactly what Sirius did. He carried you all the way up to his dorm, letting you change into dry clothes and slip under the covers first.

He didn’t take long himself, turning the bathroom light off as he made his way over to you. He pulled back the blanket atop of you for a brief moment before laying down and pulling you up against his chest with one swift movement of his arm. You turned your head upwards, opening your mouth to talk, yet failing to produce any words. Your voice cracked, tears appearing once more.

Sirius rolled you over, brushing the hair out of your face and wiping away the tears as they spilled over, muttering soft notes of reassurance. “You’re okay now, y/n.”

“It was really scary,” you whispered, the lump in your throat aching as you spoke.

“I know, darling. But look where you are,” he smiled, kissing your forehead sweetly. “Let’s focus on the present: you’re in bed with me, you’re in comfortable clothing, and you have a blanket to keep you warm and safe.” He tucked the material closer up under your neck.

“I’m right here. Nothing like that is going to happen again,” he trailed off. “I’m here to hold you, darling.”

“Thank you.”

He kissed your nose and wiped away the last of the tears. You turned over once again, tucking yourself in his arms.

It was quiet for a mere moment.

“Hey, you’re sure you don’t want to get back at James? I could make a wonderful polyjuice potion over the summer. James would make for a lovely black dog I know of.”

You contemplated. “I don’t think James could pull off being that lovely.”

“You’re right, nobody can be as lovely as me.”

Sirius Black Taglist(if your name is crossed out I couldn’t tag you :( and send me an ask if you’d like to be removed): @violetrainbow412-blog @wisedreamcatcher @scorpiobaby22 @emmaev @harrypotter0addict @siriusbarnesslut @talksoprettyjjx @onyourgoddamnleft @ilovejamespotter @florqlness @l1lli @confuscita @niceandspicy @emmysworld @i-do-random-things-do-not-ask @daedreamss

[leonhardt-simp]

AOT girls + Hange reacting to ‘deez nuts’ jokes.

[modern AU]

this isn’t a request but it’s funny so, here you go as my first post. Requests are open ! reblogs are okay ! this is a repost since I moved acc !

cw/ kind of suggestive on yelena’s

Annie Leonhardt: She would look at you with a whole lot of judgment for making such a joke in the first place. Expect a light punch in the arm or a pillow thrown to your face after said joke.

“what do you want to eat?” Annie asked, looking down at her phone as she proceeded to scroll through her phone. You both had been out all day and had both arrived at her house bit late.

Just as you were gonna answer, you suddenly had a grand thought come to mind.

you moved your body back to rest against the back of the couch, crossing your arms over your chest as you let out a light hum.

“hmm, how about DN?” you smiled at her, her expression suddenly turning into one of confusion as she looked up from her phone.

“what’s DN?”

“DEEZ NUTS ! HAH !” You laughed in victory.

Annie wouldn’t even respond. She just looked at you, her eyes squinting and eyebrows furrowed down.

She even tilted her head a bit, trying to understand how the joke was funny.

“Really-?”

“Sheesh, tough crowd.”

Mikasa Ackerman: she would be genuinely confused at first because she didn’t understand who candice was. poor girl would actually think someone named candice was an actual person in your life. you would have to explain the joke.

Mikasa and you both would be hanging out at the library with connie and sasha when the opportunity had risen.

Connie had been joking around with you and sasha as Mikasa had been studying with the small chaos, using it a background noise.

it was actually also Connie telling you to make the joke in the first place, he had been getting everyone else with it but he hadn’t had the opportunity to catch mikasa off guard yet.

So, you did. “Mikasa.” you leaned over to her side, Connie and Sasha were already laughing and giggling like idiots across the table.

“hmm?” she asked, looking up from her laptop and over to you with a the most genuine expression. “what is it?”

You couldn’t back down yet !

“Do you know candice?” Her expression faltered a bit and look a bit confused.

“You never spoke of a candice to me before- Who’s candice?-“

“CANDICE DIC-“

“Lower your voice-“ Mikasa would interrupt you, your confidence almost instantly dissipating in the little pause between you both.

“Now, who’s Candice-? Is she someone from your class-?”

Connie and Sasha bursted out into laughter when the joke couldn’t even come out of your mouth. How could you continue now?

Sasha Braus: You can’t outplay her in these jokes, she knows them like the back of her hand. She always manages to flip the joke onto you. almost always ends up with her laughing at you.

You both had gone to go out to eat so you both had been just sitting in her truck, her hand resting in yours as you both waited in the drive-thru line.

You had been trying for a good minute to catch her in these jokes. It’s not like you would do it all the time but, you knew you were getting close to getting her back. So you found your chance.

Casually, you began to start up on another conversation. hoping, you could catch her finally.

“Sasha, You never really did tell me. Do you prefer tapes or cds?” you asked as you turned to her, playing with the wristbands she wore. Sasha didn’t take the bait.

“Oh? I thought I told you on our first date. Remember? I even told you I was huge fan of D.” She responded casually.

This was what suddenly caught you off guard.

“I never even heard of a singer named Dee-“

“DEEZ NUTS”

“god fucking damn it, sasha-“

Historia Reiss: She would just let out the biggest groan and just be like “Reaaaaally?” it’s funny. She later try to get you back but she would fumble on her joke and say it wrong. Eventually, she would get frustrated and just go “Man, whatever-“

it was an easy opportunity with Historia, especially now. She was more focused on playing animal crossing than anything else really at the moment.

She was resting comfortably in between your legs, the back of her head just resting against your abdomen as she ran around her virtual island.

“Hisu.” You couldn’t help but start laughing at your girlfriend’s impending doom.

Her hand movements paused slightly to tilt her head up to look at you. “hmm?”

“I heard you had a little crush on Venessa Paradis?” you questioned.

“I- what-?” Historia immediately sat up at the sudden accusation. “who the hell said that? who the fuck is Vanessa?”

“Pair a deez nuts !” You caught her and with that, you suddenly got a pillow to the face.

“REALLY? THAT’S LIKE THE THIRD TIME THIS WEEK-“

“YOU SHOULD’VE LEARNED FROM YOUR MISTAKES, DARLING-“

Ymir: Ymir doesn’t even give you the satisfaction of even answering questions. it’s usually gonna be like “If it’s another deez nuts joke, I swear-“ sometimes she will just tease you for the fact you still make those jokes.

Ymir often took you out for lil drives at night, since usually during exam season you both barely get to see each other. Just some light music playing and you both just enjoying each other’s company.

Of course, though during your usual catch-up conversations. You decided to pull another joke on her.

“Connie has been telling me you’ve been into imagine dragons lately? what’s up with that?” you questioned.

Ymir just looked at you, she let her lips press together in a little thin line as she just let the silence grow between you. she just looked at you as if you already knew the answer.

“you know, I’ve laughed at funnier jokes hisu’s niece had told me.” she said, looking back at the road ahead.

“low blow, ymir.”

“blow on deez nuts.”

“YMIR-!”

Pieck Finger: She just kinda looks at you with a lil doe eyes. Sometimes she conflicted between saying “wow, you really said that.” and “wow, that was actually kind of a good one.” isn’t one to ruin your fun but doesn’t mean she can’t judge.

Pieck had just gotten out from her exhausting classes. She wanted nothing more than to just visit you and lay on you, let you just hold her as she napped for a bit of the day.

When she had arrived to your dorm, you could easily see that the day had taken a toll on her energy.

After tossing her bag to the ground, Pieck made her way on over to your side of the dorm room and crawled onto your bed to take her spot on top of you.

“Pieck, my love, darling. move a bit, I’m watching the Yankees vs Expoz game.” You asked, finding a more comfortable position. You would let your hand rest on Pieck’s lower back as your eyes turned back to the small tv you had.

Pieck’s head lifted up to look at the tv, somewhat interested. “Who are the Expoz?”

“EXPOZ DEEZ NUTS.” Without saying, she would just get off of you and go take her nap with her back turned to you.

“I- babe I’m joking-“

“nope- lost your chance.”

Yelena: Yelena doesn’t really care for these kinds of jokes. Sometimes they will just kinda fly over her head or she will just roll her eyes and continue on with what she was saying or doing.

Yelena and you had been getting both getting ready for a small gathering that she wanted to go to. Just her, you and some friends. It was to celebrate for finishing off exam season strong or something like that.

“Do you think this top would look nice with these pants?” she asked, holding up a white and blue stripped button up and some black pants.

“it’s just casual wear, right? then definitely, but make sure you don’t leave it unbuttoned like you usually do. I’m tired of seeing waitress ladies look at you.” You answered. You stepped closer to her, letting your arms wrap around her waist.

“Ah- is that jealousy I hear in your tone, babe?” she asked, her tone teasing as she leaned down to gently press her lips against the corner of your mouth.

“I don’t know, maybe it’s Ligma.”

“Well, whatever it is. I kind of like how it looks on your face.” she whispered against your lips, her hand dropping the button up onto her bathroom counter before letting it hold your jaw.

“I- ahaha- We have a gathering to go to, love.”

“hmm.. we have some time before then.”

Hange Zoë: They finds them absolutely hilarious. Kinda like Sasha, sometimes they will turn the joke onto you. Won’t actively make them but they will catch you sometimes.

You both were at the grocery store. Hange had a always had grown into a habit of forgetting to buy groceries so, when you came over to their house and saw that their fridge was borderline empty- you had to pull them to do some shopping.

“Ah- WHY IS MILK SO EXPENSIVE NOWADAYS?” They would groan out loud as you stayed by the grocery cart.

You watched them come back with a gallon, putting it in the cart with the other produce you both had gathered.

You knew hange didn’t like shopping so, to lighten the mood, you decided to joke around with them a bit.

“Milk is expensive but have you seen the price of fermented succondese?” you asked, leaning on the bar of the cart.

“What the hell is that?”

“SUCK ON DEEZ NUTZ !”

It was always pleasant to see Hange’s face go from surprised to laughing after the joke finally processed through their brain.

“AHAHAHAHA, THAT’S A GOOD ONE, Y/N. HAVE YOU HEARD THE ONE ABOUT GOBLINS THOUGH?”

[ask-art-student-prussia]

I'll draw this tomorrow I swear

Austria: I hate you.

Prussia: OH GOD IM BREAKING OUT IN HIVES

Austria: whAT WHY?!

Prussia, spinning on his heels and with a deadpan expression: Because I'm allergic to BULLSHIT, Roderich.

[cotccotc]

SKZ REACT to...

 ▹ your tattoos & piercings !

part of my eight as fate event !! ( requested by @ruesbloos​ ♡ )

genre/s: ot8 reaction headcanon, gn reader, platonic, fluff & humor

wc: ~840

warning/s: swearing, my dumb commentary :D

a/n: i’ve been super busy lately so this has actually been close to done for a while but not posted lol. it’s spring break for me now so hopefully i’ll get more requests done this week :) this one’s a bit short (and kinda lame djfjd) but i hope y’all enjoy it !!

 ▹ CHAN

bro if u have tattoos this man will go absolutely feral

WHAT DO THEY ALL MEAN !?! RIGHT NOW RIGHT NOW TELL HIM

if any of them have some sort of deep significance, he will EAT THAT SHIT UP oml

he’d want to know the meaning behind every single one AND where and when you got them

you’re automatically 10x cooler

and with piercings, i don’t think he’d make too big a deal about it but he’d definitely stare at them a lot. i think he’d be suuuper jealous either way HAHA

 ▹ MINHO

would get upset that you never showed him before

it’s like when felix and seungmin didn’t know he had three cats. those same exact vibes.

you wouldn’t even show him. he’d spot a tattoo by accident and just take a massive (maybe even cartoonish) double take.

with a piercing, it would probably be even funnier. if you had a tragus piercing he didn’t know about and he got a quick glance of it in passing, he’d follow closely beside you with his head obnoxiously close to your ear to get a better look

i’m sorry but it’s so hard for me to picture anything else but minho being all >>:(((( at you for not telling him this very important information !!!! how dare u..

 ▹ CHANGBIN

if you had piercings he’d make fun of you for having so many holes in your face but then he’d stare at the piercings as if they were your eyes

it’d be unintentional, but you can tell he’s just fully staring straight at your ears lmao

and if you DARE point it out or make fun of him he would simply shout in anguish

just let him BE (jk jk)

with tattoos he’d probably have the same reaction as chan, but he wouldn’t tell you that.

he’ll just be like “oh ok cool” and stare at them forever before you literally have to ask him if he wants to know the backstory

in which case he’ll get EXTREMELY invested in the stories behind your body art and accessories jsjsj

 ▹ HYUNJIN

to be completely honest it’s hard for me to picture his reaction !! (gasp)

i think that similarly to minho, he’d be salty that you never showed him your piercings or tattoos !! at first he’d think he just never noticed lol

wants to know the stories !!! woohoo !!!

however...

you: “nipple piercings hurt sooo bad. like an 100/10 on the pain scale”

hyunjin: *cue classic hyunjin disgust face*

or with tattoos, if you have any on your fingers he’d think they’re really cool and might even consider getting some of his own

but then you explain the feeling of getting one to him...

aaaand then he’s Disgusted once again !! HAHA

 ▹ JISUNG

his immediate reaction is to poke it. tattoo or piercing.

you’re like ,,,,,,h u h

but he just… *poke*

and you can both laugh it off but it’s incredibly hilarious and endearing to you.

“WHAT’S THAT PLACE CALLED” he’d say, poking your daith piercing. this, of course, would prompt a very interesting ear anatomy lesson.

“WE SHOULD GET MATCHING TATTOOS :D” and/or “WE SHOULD GET MATCHING PIERCINGS :D”

and you know what? YEAH. you should. and you probably will. pop off !!!

 ▹ FELIX

he would be AMAZED

he knew you were cool but you have LITERAL ART ALL OVER YOUR BODY ??? SICK

he’d stare at your tattoos like changbin and piercings, but he’d be very obvious about it......... which is Very Cute-

he’d play with your piercings in the cutest way imaginable !!!!!

like if you had a belly button piercing he’d take EVERY SINGLE CHANCE HE GETS to play with it under your shirt

you’re hugging? he’s playing with your piercing.

you’re cuddling? he’s playing with your piercing.

you’re doing literally anything at any given moment? he’s playing wi- you get it.

 ▹ SEUNGMIN

i think he’d have a similar reaction to minho (but to a lesser degree lol)

if you had a tongue piercing he’d be like “y/n when the fuck” and just point at your tongue like :o

he’d be super interested to know the story behind getting your piercings or tattoos, even if they’re not something he’d get himself

(at least i don’t see him getting any… despite the edits i have saved to my camera roll…… sjkdf)

but yeah !! he’d want to know the backstory behind the placements, the parlor, the people… everything !!! and if any of the stories are random or dumb, he’d be sure to clown you for it... :)

 ▹ JEONGIN

jeongin: “hey bestie let’s get our first tattoos together <333”

you: “i already have like four”

jeongin: “BESTIE HOW COULD YOU”

sdkjh in all seriousness i think he’d be the most visibly jealous (still playfully, ofc)

if you say you went with a friend to get one of your tattoos or piercings he’d be like “HMM VERY INTERESTING.. NOW WHERE WAS I ???”

and when you show them to him he’d pretend to be salty but you can tell that deep down he thinks they’re the coolest things he’s ever seen

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