#hit over the head

[where-is-my-whump]

Chicago PD 2x15

[if-you-fan-a-fire]

"BEATEN WITH BOOK-END," Hamilton Spectator. July 17, 1933. Page 5. --- Winnipeg, July 17. - The married state is not always one of bliss, evidence in police court Saturday, indicated. Peter Kotanko was sentenced to two years in penitentiary for cracking his wife over the head with a book-end. In twenty-seven other husband-and-wife assault cases, the accused (all of the sterner sex) were freed on suspended sentence.

[frogaroundandfindout]

Bruce gets knocked over the head with a lead pipe and without even looking at eachother dick and Tim start circling around him making tweeting noises

Meanwhile bruce wishes the hit actually knocked him out so he didn’t have to witness his kids acting like this

[chloesimaginationthings]

FNAF Phone guy was wild for saying that to Michael..

[teeterarting]

So familiar

[junglejim4322]

This is how all crypto people sound to me

[aliettali]

this is what being a juvenile officer for 15 years gets him

[burr-ell]

it's genuinely SUCH a choice for vex to be like ok hear me out. what if we keep having emotionally charged conversations where we confess our deepest fears and longings and also pork each other about it...but ok here's the thing, here's the thing: we CALL IT friends with benefits so no one really gets attached enough to be hurt! it's foolproof! and percy's like that doesn't sound right but i don't know enough about healthy relationships to dispute it

[yuwuta]

hitting it raw is fun and sexy and all but not more than clawing at a boy and you both being so desperate for each other and barely getting out that you guys should use condoms and watching him trip over all your shed clothes on the floor and dig through nightstand drawers and bathroom cabinets like a madman on a wild goose hunt and cheer when he finally finds them and run back to you with so much excitement and watching his brain re-freeze when he realizes he’s about to fuck you 

[tititilani]

I can't stop thinking about if Simon had taken Edwin's offer

Like Charles finds Edwin in the hallway as ever but this time there's another boy there too, cowering against the wall next to him. Maybe the dollhead spider doesn't care about Simon, too busy focusing on its favorite target, so Charles is left standing in the hallway with Simon when Edwin is taken.

They get out of hell, but Edwin doesn't confess due to Simon hovering behind his elbow. He doesn't want to confess his emotions in front of his killer, who he probably hasn't even properly figured out how he's feeling towards yet.

The Night Nurse is pissed they came out with an extra soul but Niko's same loophole still applies and Simon stays.

"This is Simon," Edwin says when it's all said and done, finally introducing the boy that's been hiding behind him since the door closed. "He was a...classmate of mine."

"He saved me," Simon says, looking up at Edwin moony-eyed and Charles knows that look and something settles heavy in his stomach.

"Glad to have ya, mate," he tells him even though the words taste sour. This other boy knew Edwin when he was alive, the thought is slightly terrifying to him.

Simon settles in fine with the agency even if the agency feels a little crowded now with five people in it but he continues to moon over Edwin and Edwin just...never tells anyone how they actually knew each other. He reasons it just doesn't matter, that he can't find the right time, whatever.

Charles never really warms up to him, though he tries to hide it, but he sees the looks Simon gives Edwin, a soppy smitten look that is somehow worse than anything Monty or the Cat King ever tried with Edwin because of all of them, Simon arguably knows the most about like Edwardian courting. That, like Edwin, Simon has also survived hell. Charles hates the idea that someone could potentially understand Edwin more than he does.

He hates it so much that nothing further happens between him and Crystal because the idea of Edwin being left alone with Simon bothers him so much. He sees Simon adjusting Edwin's collar one (1) time and it makes him feel sick.

And then there's the fortune-teller.

They only go to her sometimes for cases because she never fails to freak Charles out but her prophecies tend to be accurate like 60% of the time which is pretty good for a fortune teller. She looks at the two of them at the end, because it is just the two of them for once, and then looks just at Edwin.

"How kind you are," she says, the words a compliment but the tone snide. "To house your killer. Pray tell it doesn't come back to you."

"What." Charles says. "The fuck."

Charles is furious, of course, and it takes Edwin a long time to talk him out of smashing Simon's face in with the new cricket bat.

"He's like me," he insists in that quiet but firm voice. Charles wants to scream that Simon is nothing like Edwin - that he doesn't have a fraction of Edwin's kindness or pissiness, that his blue eyes are not nearly as beautiful as Edwin's green - but before he can even open his mouth, Edwin continues. "He...He likes boys, Charles. He likes me."

Oh. Oh.

Charles stares at Edwin who is looking back at him, trying and failing to hide the fact he's terrified, and Charles doesn't give one shit that Edwin likes boys because he's his best mate forever. He's still pissed that Simon is apparently staying but he has to hug Edwin at that. "I'm still pissed you didn't tell me about him," is all he says, swallowing back the other words he wants to say.

Charles grows even more paranoid about Simon being around, who has to get used to the fact that Charles takes to swinging his cricket bat ominously every time he comes within ten feet of Edwin. He finds out that adjusting clothing was an Edwardian courting thing and wants to break something. The very idea the very person who killed his best mate is now trying to put the moves on said best mate pisses him off.

It also makes him think of numerous times Edwin had readjusted his collar or jacket in the past and it makes his non-existent stomach flip.

Eventually, Simon decides he's ready to move on to his after-life and Charles keeps his hands from fisting when he looks at Edwin with that same soppy look. He knows Edwin has forgiven Simon by now but Charles has always been better at holding a grudge and he knows what is going to come out of Simon's mouth before he even asks. He knows that if Edwin says yes, he won't stop him.

Charles also knows that if Edwin does, there is no way he is going to find any kind of his own afterlife.

"You could come with me," Simon says hopefully and the moment after is the longest in Charles' life.

"Thank you, Simon," Edwin says kindly and Charles has to keep himself from crying. "But I have no interest in going anywhere without Charles."

He steps back - away from Simon and back towards Charles. Ears suspiciously pink, Edwin links their hands and they watch as Simon follows the Night Nurse.

[if-you-fan-a-fire]

"Man, 61, Attacked And Robbed of $50," Montreal Star. July 27, 1943. Page 3. --- Knocked unconscious and robbed of $50 in broad daylight in a lane behind his home, Emery Leduc, 61, of 1195 Seymour street was taken to the Western division of the General Hospital shortly after noon today. His condition was said to be serious.

According to police, Leduc was returning home from work and was about to enter the back door when he was attacked by two men who struck him on the head with an unknown instrument. A neighbor found him unconscious and notified police.

[rootbeerrex]

I WAS DOING PROCRASTINATED ENGLISH HOMEWORK AT 10:30 PM AND THIS BATFAM INTERACTION POPPED FULLY FORMED INTO MY BRAIN

Jason, staring down a defeated villain with his helmet off, dramatically monologuing like the theatre kid he is: Death didn't stop me the first time, what made you think you'd be the one to make it stick? Haven't you people learned? You cannot kill me in a way that matters.

Tim, pausing where he's taking down the remaining henchmen: hold on a second. I've heard that line before. did you just- did you just quote a Tumblr post in your takedown monologue?????

Jason, red in the face and blatantly embarassed: I don't know what the FUCK you're talking about, Replacement.

Dick, sweeping in on a grappling hook and knocking out a goon coming up behind Jason: No, he's definitely right. "decay exists as an extant form of life" and all that.

Jason, shoving his guns back into their holsters and walking away while grumbling to himself: and they wonder why I don't come to family dinners

Damian, popping out of the shadows: So long, fungus boy

[rascal-rose]

ngl announcement side swiped me anyway he should check out that pizza in a tower

[timethehobo]

A missed apology.

[humkoos]

7 years of breath of the wild

[dumbass-hyperfixations]

eddie leaves, and buck drives him to the airport. we get a parallel to buck telling him goodbye just like with abby, only that buck feels like this is it this time. he won’t be waiting for eddie because eddie isn’t coming back. and you can see they both have a hard time saying goodbye, but they’re both repressing their feelings like hell. “call me when you land.” “yeah yeah. maybe i’ll get chris to call you too when i see him.” they do a bro hug. pretend they’re not about to cry. eddie says, “right. um. see you around, buck.” and turns to leave.

but buck breaks his composure then, reaches and pulls eddie back into the biggest, tightest bear hug he can manage. because if he doesn’t get to have eddie around anymore, then at least he wants a proper hug. but then he realizes they’re locked in a hug for a moment too long, so he pulls away with a sniff and tries to apologize. but then eddie’s the one grabbing him, because plot twist, he wasn’t done with the hug either, so they embrace again like they don’t want to let go of each other ever again. but then there’s a call for eddie’s flight and he really has to go. so they finally break apart (but you know they hands linger, because losing each other’s touch is one of the worst things right now) and turn to go their separate ways.

cut scene, eddie boards the plane, sits down in his seat with an absolutely miserable look on his face. rubs at his chest absent-mindedly, because there’s a pain there that’s more profound than it should be, but he can’t quite put a finger on where it’s coming from. a middle-aged lady is sitting next to him, misinterprets this for a fear of flying. tries to start a conversation, eddie just nods along politely, until she says,

“you know, you’re really lucky to have that boy waiting for you.”

“hm?”

“oh, forgive me. i happened to see you with your boyfriend when you were saying goodbye. i didn’t mean to pry, but you caught my attention.”

and eddie, who still has a hand to his chest, suddenly freezes. stares into the distance, realization dawning to his face. oh. oh. that’s why it hurts.