#historic punch bowl

[sapores]

My Own Ferdinand-and-Isabella Punch Bowl

Next weekend is the Eurovision final, and we have friends coming over to watch with us. I spotted a drinking game official enough to have its own domain and twitter account (ie, not very official, but certainly interwebs savvy) - and that they recommended their rum punch.

...but I didn't much like their punch recipe.

So I looked around for alternatives, and ran into Ferdinand and Isabella's Punch. This looked a lot better to me, but still I wouldn't want to make it without a few tweaks here and there.

So I tweaked. And for some ingredients that I didn't have at home, I replaced, or I went with DIY.

I plan to go back and edit this post as I settle on some of the amounts, and possibly add more spices than currently planned to the falernum.

Velvet Falernum Batavian Falernum

Since I didn't have any falernum at home, and want to largely avoid purchasing extra booze at this point, I decided to make my own falernum.

And since many historic punches used Batavian Arrak, and while I don't have any white rum at home, I do have Arrak, I decided to build my falernum on that instead.

So, here comes the Batavian Falernum. Based largely on the DIY recipe from Serious Eats.

Ingredients:

1/3 cup raw almonds

30 cloves

2 sticks of cinnamon (added by me)

30 allspice berries (added by me)

1 inch ginger (added by me)

1 cup Batavian Arrack (changed by me)

8 limes

520 g Demerara sugar [actually used: palm sugar + white sugar] (changed by me)

130 g (~1/2 cup) water

Day 1:

Coarsely chop and toast the almonds in a dry (non-stick) pan over medium-high heat until fragrant but before they burn (approx. 5 minutes).

Place almonds, cinnamon and cloves in a tight-sealing jar, cover with arrack. Steep for 24h.

Day 2:

Add allspice berries. Steep for 24h.

Day 3:

Finely zest 8 limes, with as little pith as possible. Put limes in ziploc bag in fridge to juice them later for the syrup and even later for the punch.

Thinly slice ginger.

Add zest and ginger slices to infusion. Steep for 24h.

Day 4:

Juice 4 limes (from the fridge stash), strain into pot. I got 130 g juice from this. Add water (equal amount, so 130g) and sugar (quadruple that, so 520g, to make it 2:1 sugar to liquid by weight), and cook a 66 brix (rich) sugar syrup, until sugar is fully dissolved.

Let it cool, then strain infusion and combine infused arrak and syrup in 1:2 proportions by weight.

Shake/stir until fully combined, strain through coffee filter, and let it rest for 12h.

Ferdinand and Isabella's Batavian Punch

Ingredients

1 lemon

2/3 cups sugar

2-3 tbsp Imperial Earl Grey

1/2 bottle (375ml) Ron Zacapa 23

1/2 bottle (375ml) aged Malmsey Madeira (changed by me)

1/2 cup lemon juice (squeezed from reserved fruit)

1/2 cup lime juice (squeezed from reserved fruit)

1 tsp Angostura Bitters

1/2 cup Batavian Falernum (see above)

Extra additions chosen day of:

Not enough Madeira: swapped half for Lillet Blanc

1 tbsp rich gomme syrup

1/4 tsp 4:1 saline

1/2 tsp Fee Brothers Black Walnut Bitters

1/2 tsp Fee Brothers Molasses Bitters

1/2 tsp Angostura Orange Bitters

Day 1:

Peel or zest the lemon, avoid the pith. Combine with sugar, muddle slightly and let it rest to produce oleo saccharum. Put the zested lemon in the fridge in a plastic bag to squeeze later.

Fill baking tray or bundt pan partway with water, put in freezer to produce ice block for the punch bowl.

Day 2:

Steep 1.5 cups of boiling hot water with the tea leaves for 3 minutes. Strain and set aside to cool.

Squeeze lemon and lime from the fridge and measure out the required amounts. (if not enough, fill it up with the Meyer Lemon super juice in my fridge)

Combine rum, madeira, lemon juice, lime juice, and the oleo saccharum. Stir to combine, and then strain to remove lemon zest from the mix. Pour into punch bowl.

Add tea to punch bowl.

Add ice block to punch bowl.

Garnish with lemon and lime wheels studded with cloves.

Timing for this time around:

May 7: Day 1 of Falernum

May 8: Day 2 of Falernum

May 9: Day 3 of Falernum

May 10: Day 4 of Falernum

May 12: Day 1 of Punch.

May 13: Day of Eurovision show. Day 2 of Punch.

[saltpepperbeard]

no because i'm over here trying to maintain a steady course and trying to not jump to conclusions and trying not to panic over out of context articles/questions/pieces of texts where i can't properly read the tone

and then rhys rolls up with-

[brainddeadd]

Halloween Party

The New Jersey Devils' Halloween party was destined to be anything but normal. You knew that from the moment you walked into the venue—a rented-out lounge decked with fake cobwebs, jack-o-lanterns, and strobe lights—only to be tackled by a very enthusiastic Jack Hughes in full Spider-Man gear.

“Y/N!” Jack yells, wrapping you in a bear hug and lifting you off the ground. “You made it!”

“Put me down, Spidey,” you laugh, squirming in his grip.

Jack grins under his mask but finally sets you down, brushing invisible dust off your costume. “What even are you supposed to be?” he asks, squinting at your outfit.

“I’m a vampire,” you say, flashing the plastic fangs you barely managed to keep in.

“Cute.” Jack winks, slinging an arm around your shoulder just as Nico Hischier—dressed as a very convincing pirate—walks up, giving both of you a fond, exasperated look.

The lounge is packed with players, staff, and their partners—everyone dressed to the nines in goofy, spooky, or downright ridiculous costumes. Luke Hughes stands by the snack table, inspecting a bowl of candy with the kind of concentration you usually only see him use on the ice. He’s rocking a cowboy hat, boots, and a vest that’s way too small for his frame.

Dawson Mercer, meanwhile, has gone all-in with a werewolf costume, complete with fluffy ears and a tail that keeps smacking people as he walks by.

“I swear to God, Dawson,” you mutter, swatting at the tail when it brushes your arm again. “Control that thing.”

“It has a mind of its own!” Dawson defends himself with a mischievous grin.

As the night progresses, the chaos only multiplies.

Nico keeps trying to convince everyone to join him for a game of beer pong, insisting that pirates have an unfair advantage because they’re “naturally gifted at throwing things.” You’re not entirely sure that’s historically accurate, but no one argues with him.

Jack somehow convinces half the team to start a limbo competition—using a hockey stick, of course. Luke crushes it, his height somehow not being a disadvantage for once, though he nearly trips over his boots at the end.

Dawson, in typical Dawson fashion, sneaks up behind you at one point with a fake severed hand, pressing it to your shoulder.

You jump and swat him again. “You’re asking for a punch, Mercer.”

“Worth it,” he laughs, scampering off before you can retaliate.

The highlight of the night is, without a doubt, the costume contest.

You watch as Nico steps onto the makeshift stage, adjusting his pirate hat dramatically. “Arr, mateys,” he says, clearly enjoying himself way too much. “Who dares challenge the captain?”

Jack boos from the crowd. “Your hat’s crooked, Captain Fraud!”

“At least I didn’t dress as Spider-Man for the third year in a row!” Nico fires back, making everyone roar with laughter.

Luke takes the stage next, tipping his cowboy hat. He pulls out a toy gun from his holster and blows on the barrel dramatically, earning a mix of cheers and teasing catcalls from the crowd.

When it’s your turn, the boys start cheering before you even reach the stage.

“Y/N! Y/N! Y/N!” Jack chants, getting the whole room to join in.

You roll your eyes but strike a dramatic vampire pose, hissing playfully at the crowd. Nico, Jack, Luke, and Dawson lose it, clapping like you’ve just scored the winning goal in a playoff game.

“Best costume ever,” Dawson declares loudly, like a proud big brother.

After the contest wraps up (Nico wins because, as Jack puts it, “the pirate hat has plot armor”), the team settles into smaller groups, chatting and dancing to the Halloween playlist someone threw together.

Jack stays glued to your side for most of the night, making sure no one gives you too much grief—though he’s not above throwing in a little teasing himself. “You’re lucky you have us,” he jokes. “Otherwise, these guys would eat you alive.”

Nico walks by, overhearing. “We’re protecting you from them,” he says, tilting his head toward the crowd of rowdy teammates. “Not the other way around.”

You laugh, but you know it’s true. These boys are chaos incarnate, but they’re also fiercely protective. And if that means surviving a Halloween party filled with ridiculous costumes, bad jokes, and limbo competitions—well, you wouldn’t have it any other way.

The night winds down with Jack flopping onto the couch beside you, half-asleep but still grinning like a kid. “You have fun, Y/N?”

You smile, leaning your head on his shoulder. “Yeah. Thanks for dragging me here.”

Jack gives your shoulder a gentle nudge. “Anytime, little sis.”

Nico, Luke, and Dawson join you shortly after, each collapsing into the nearest seat. The five of you sit there, surrounded by the aftermath of the party—empty cups, candy wrappers, and a whole lot of memories.

And as you glance around at your chaotic, overprotective teammates, you realize there’s nowhere else you’d rather be.

[asianwhumpgalore]

My Merman Brother (我的鲛人弟弟) | Cdrama | Whump List

Genre: Historical, Mystery, Romance, Fantasy

Synopsis: Lin Weixu, the State Preceptor of the Qin Empire gained her authoritarian power after conquering Nanzhao Empire. One day, she ran into Fu Su, a merman captive who was tortured by the Supreme Court. Out of sympathy, she rescued the merman, and he became clingy to her. Thus unfolded a therapeutic and sweet journey.

Length: 24 eps

Whump meter: ▲▲◭△△ 

✨ Simple and cute. Merman ML ftw ✨

⚠️Trigger Content: Usual historical content warnings. ⚠️⚠️Some SPOILERS might be found, proceed with caution ⚠️⚠️

Whumpee: Fu Su played by Shen Huai

00:00 | Running barefoot across the street, scratches and bruises on his body, crashes into someone and falls to the ground, net cast over him, struggling to free himself, kicked back onto the ground when he sits up, beaten, saved.

02:00 | Shoved onto the floor, grabbed by the face and forced to look up.

06:05 | (comedic) Fought, pinned to the ground, choked, (normal) cowers into corner, hugs self.

08:40 | Bites lip until it bleeds.

14:45 | Whipped, scolded.

17:35 | Locked in a cell, chained by the wrists to the wall, hugs self, mocked.

20:15 | Shoved onto the ground, accused of killing someone, kicked out.

22:05 | Leaning against a wall for support, collapses against the wall, panting, sweating, hugs self, stumbles away | Crashes into furniture, collapses against table, clutching chest, hunched over, concern for him, falls on the floor, labored breathing, helped to stand.

46:32 | Cuts palm of hand with a knife, bleeding.

50:55 | Imprisoned, hugs self.

55:55 | Bleeding lip.

56:35 | Punched.

01:01:45 | Head covered with a cloth, abducted (off screen) | Chained by the wrist to a cross, head covered with cloth.

01:03:35 | Chained once again by the wrists, arm cut, made to bleed onto a bowl, cut again, in pain.

01:10:44 | Still chained, found by lover, bloody, cuts on his body, coughing.

[thisis-an-original-name]

Here is where I stand with the Global Conflict this week (no one asked lmao)

1. The top priority for me is stopping the genocide in Gaza, and, immediately after that, establishing a Palestinian state/two state solution.

2. Hamas isn’t going to peddle any kind of solution/compromise. Hamas essentially took their “We want to kill Jews” treatise and replaced “Jews” with “Zionists” but nothing has changed. If you can’t see that, you’re dangerous and probably stupid.

3. The hostages need to be freed (if they’re still alive, which let’s be realistic, they probably aren’t.) If Netanyahu actually cared about freeing the hostages, he would have done it by now, and a large number of Israelis recognize that.

4. Recognition of the hostages/ October 7th and recognition of the genocide/ deeply awful conduct of Israel can and SHOULD coexist.

5. Joe Biden is a useless little bitch. Having him as President again would still be better than four more years of Trump.

6. The Met Gala was not orchestrated by Big Zionism to distract from the invasion of Rafah and saying that it was is just blatant antisemitism. That being said, the Israeli military does frequently carry out large strikes on nights like the Met Gala and the Super Bowl when they know that the American news cycle will be focused on something else. Both things can be true. Also, the Met Gala is inherently a stupid thing to get excited about I’m sorry.

7. Student protestors do often fall into traps of antisemitism and say shit that could potentially harm Jews. What else is going to happen, when you gather a bunch of 19 year olds and tell them to yell as loud as humanly possible? That being said, I do have to believe that a vast majority of college protestors have good intentions AND, most of all, even if they don’t, censoring them and spraying pepper spray in their eyes is draconian behavior that the history books will not look kindly upon.

8. I’m so on the fence about boycotts, especially Eurovision. Because on one hand, banning Palestinian flags and keffiyeh’s from the performance is wrong. And I don’t think that Israel should be allowed to compete considering everything that the government is doing, like Russia was banned in 2021. That being said, it does make me sad that this 19 year old girl wrote a song about losing friends and family on October 7th and in response, she’s been booed and told to stay in her hotel room lest the angry mob tears her apart.

9. I do think that celebrities have some level of responsibility to use their platforms for good. That being said, this is such a complex issue that I almost don’t fault some people for not making a 250 character Twitter statement. I don’t think the dying children of Gaza care much if you block Zendaya or Olivia Rodrigo on Instagram. It also gets ridiculous when you go in the comments section of creators with like 100k followers and you see people posting Palestinian flags like yeah I’m sorry that blorbo from my shows isn’t personally flying to Gaza to punch Netanyahu in the face.

10. If you punctuate every single acknowledgement of the genocide with “but what about the hostages!!” or GOD FORBID “it’s sad that Hamas made Netanyahu do this” you have been propagandized by your local Hillel. No one made Netanyahu do this except Netanyahu. There’s no way you don’t know that by now. Wiping out Hamas: another thing that Netanyahu probably would have done by now if he genuinely wanted to.

11. Whenever I see lists of “here are the celebrities/professors/writers/guy on the street to block and throw rocks at because he’s a Mean Scary Zionist” I am reminded of the lists of synagogue goers that Nazis used to track down Jews and their families during the Holocaust. Seriously if you’re peddling lists of “Zionists” ripe for demonization you might want to ask yourself what you’re REALLY doing, and why.

12. Fun fact about me: I actually consider myself a Zionist. I do think, historically speaking, that Jews do need a safe place and a homeland to prevent us from being killed again like we seem to be every few centuries or so. I just don’t think that place has to be Israel, and I DEFINITELY don’t think Palestine should be subjugated for it to happen. But whenever I hear “Zionism = BAD” I just cringe a bit because… you keep using that word. I don’t think it means what you think it means

[lostcol]

9 Fandom Peeps to Get to Know Better:

thank you for the tag @eusuntgratie <3

3 ships I like: just 3?! if i must. the 3 i'm reading most right now are malex, payneland, and firstprince

first ship ever: i think the first one i took a stab at writing, literal decades ago and with very questionable results, was brooke and lucas from OTH

last song you heard: my client played that song from the spongebob beach episode for her kids this afternoon, so... that, unfortunately. last song i listened to on purpose was pink pony club

favorite childhood book: oof tough question. i read constantly, my sister and i weren't allowed any TV during the week growing up so we both read a ton. my favorite genre by far was historical fiction, so probably something in there. OH one book I read over and over in middle school was The Long Night by Diane Hoh, a novel set on the Titanic. I did an English project on it in 7th grade when we could pick literally any chapter book, I was mildly obsessed. Ooh I also read Dreadful Sorry and Time Windows (both by Kathryn Reiss) over and over. I still recommend all of them!

currently reading: mostly a lot of fic. Listening to The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt, and Never Have I Ever: Punched My Roommate's V-Card by Willow Dixon. I'm so sorry 😂

currently watching: at this very moment, rewatching Eureka for the umpteenth time (currently on s4). more generally, Roswell New Mexico and The Great British Benefits Handout on my own, and Welcome to Waikiki and What We Do In The Shadows with my roommate

currently consuming: diet peach iced tea, and about to have a bowl of chocolate frosted flakes

currently craving: a bowl of chocolate frosted flakes and sex

tagging: @winderlylandchime @madsworld15 @matriaya @theseshipsshallsail @haxprocess @maryp50 @thingsthatmatter @getmehighonmagic and anyone else! <3

[echoghost1]

Ecto-Implosion 2023

Title: The Portal Turns On

Total Word Count: 4,031

Total Chapters: 3

Characters: Jack Fenton, Danny Fenton, Maddie Fenton, Jazz Fenton

Tags: POV Jack Fenton, Good Parent Jack Fenton, The portal accident, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Jack is there for The Portal Accident

Summary: When the Portal fails Jack and Maddie can't find it in themselves to do much of anything.

After a few weeks, Jack decides to follow his son into the lab and try again. He already failed, it's not like it could be worse.

AKA Jack is there for Danny's accident AU

Art by Fern315/@friendzoned61

You can read the fic on AO3

or the first chapter of the down below the cut

[you're here] | ch. 2 | ch. 3

Jack was so excited he could barely keep still. Today was the day. It was finally here!

Everything he and Maddie had been working on for the last twenty years was finally coming to a head.

He almost plugged it in the second Maddie said she was finished with her calibrations but then he remembered the kids.

This was going to be the biggest thing ever! This was historic! They couldn’t miss this!

“I’m gonna get the kids!” Jack said in a rush before he bounded up the stairs two at a time.

He swung open the door and found his son standing in the kitchen doorway with a bowl of chips. A few chips were on the floor around his feet for some reason.

“Just the son I was looking for!”

“What?” Danny said as he dusted a few crumbs off his shirt.

“Where’s your sister?”

“Upstairs, I think.”

“Great!” Jack said before he ran over to the other staircase and shouted up for his most favorite, and only, daughter, “Jazz! Come down here quick!”

Jazz popped her head around the corner, “what is it?”

“Come on! Come on!” Jack urged and then walked back towards the basement.

He took the bowl of chips from Danny’s hand and tossed it on the coffee table, “you won’t be needing these.”

“I was eating those,” Danny said his hand reaching out towards his snack.

“You can have it later. This is much more important.” Jack said as he started down the stairs.

“More important than food? I guess this is big.” Danny said and then he followed behind Jack.

Once he was at the bottom of the stairs, Jack turned around to face his audience. His kids.

“Today, you two will witness history!”

The reactions he got were mostly confusion, but that was fine. Everything would make sense soon enough.

“As you know, we’ve been working on this project for years. We’ve been working on this since before either of you were born. Way back in our college days!”

Danny looked over to the framework and then back to Jack, “you finished it?”

“You betcha!” Jack said with a grin a mile wide.

“I hate to ask, but what’s it supposed to do?” Jazz asked with her arms crossed and doubt written all over her face.

It was a little disheartening to have such a skeptic for a daughter but, he’d make a believer out of her yet.

This was just the thing to do it.

“We’re going to punch a hole from our world straight to the world of the dead!” Jack explained, punching his open palm for emphasis.

“That way, we’ll have constant access to the spectral dimension. We can gather samples, full specimens, and more data than we’ve ever been able to gather in all of our research to date!” Maddie added.

“So true, honey,” Jack said with a grin. She always had so many good ideas.

“You’re going to rip a hole in reality?” Jazz clarified.

“Yup-arooni!”

“Okay then.” she said with an eye roll, “I’m going to stay on the stairs.”

“You sure you don’t want to be closer to the action?” Jack asked.

“Yeah, very sure.”

“How close can we get?” Danny asked.

“That’s the spirit!” Jack said with a supportive slap on the back.

Which may have been a bit too strong given Danny stumbled forward a few steps.

Jack turned back to Maddie, “So where’s the cord? Can I do the honors?”

“Of course sweetheart!” Maddie said and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before handing over the two cords.

Jack wasted no time and jammed the two cords together.

He watched the portal spark to life and then…

Nothing.

That wasn’t right.

He squeezed the two ends together a little tighter. Maybe they didn’t connect all the way.

Still nothing.

He looked at his wife.

She looked just as confused as he felt.

She held out her hands for the cords and he handed them over.

She unplugged it and plugged it in again.

It didn’t change anything.

She dropped the cords and quickly walked over to the board with their notes.

She read over them, looked to the panel, and looked back at the notes.

“I don’t understand. It should have worked.”

“Hate to break it to you, but I know why it didn’t work.” Jazz said with her arms crossed on the stairwell.

“You do?” Jack asked, hopeful that his daughter was able to see where they went wrong. Hopeful that it was something silly that they overlooked in their eagerness to start.

“It didn’t work because ghosts aren’t real. They never were.”

Jack’s shoulders sank.

“Come on, Jazz. There’s no need to be mean.”

“I’m not being mean! I’m being realistic! Maybe they’ll finally get out of this fantasy that they’ve buried themselves in and actually work on something real!” She said before storming off out of the basement and out of sight.

Jack sighed unsure of what to do with himself. It certainly wasn’t the first time he’d been told something like that, but somehow it was worse this time.

Maddie was getting upset. He knew even before she slammed her fists on the table.

It wouldn’t do her any good to stay down here.

Maybe they should just walk away.

Maybe Jazz had a point.

Jack walked over to Maddie and gently walked her away from the workbench. “Come on hon, let’s go.”

“Wait, where are you going?” Danny asked. It was hard to tell if he was more confused or worried.

“We just need to get out of here for a little bit.”

“So you’re coming back later?”

Jack didn’t know how to answer that.

Normally he’d say yes.

Normally there was no question.

Right now didn’t feel normal.

It hardly felt real.

“You know I still believe you right?”

Jack gave his son a smile. Or at least he tried to.

He gave him a pat on the shoulder and then walked upstairs with Maddie.

They just needed some time away from the lab is all.

[dephellseed]

Fourth of July specific Headcannons

• John makes the entire holiday his own personal runway, always has. His parties back in Atlanta were the biggest and most exclusive events in the state. He had the best food flown in, the best music, the best drinks, and the best people. Sure, now in Hope County he can't exactly fly in anyone to cook but he can cater, and yeah there's no liquor allowed but what Joe doesn't know won't hurt him, will it? Lightly spike the punch bowl. Live music is just the Eden's Gate choir now but hey, they learned new songs for this and they're quite proud. But no one, and I mean no one, can stop him from dressing up for the occasion. It'd be a sin not to, wouldn't it?

• Joseph spends the entire day reading old historical texts from the nation's inception to Jacob, hoping it helps soothe him. He pretends its just because he's concerned about Jacob but he also just really hates parties. He makes an appearance at the end to make a speech about how this country might have failed them now, but it started with a dream very similar to theirs: freedom, faith, and guns.

• Jacob hates this fucking holiday. Hates it. The fireworks sound like mortar fire to him. This country has done nothing but use and abuse him his entire life. But, his brother likes it, so he tries to. Demands to be in charge of grilling, absolutely destroys the dance floor. Knows exactly what's in the punch, steals the entire bowl for himself. Locks himself in his room before the heretics start their firework displays so he can't accidentally hurt someone during a flashback.

• Faith absolutely adores any excuse to make everyone in Eden's Gate be outside and cheerful. Everyone's so sad and pale! They need fresh air and Bliss! They need joy! They need to celebrate The Father! Like she does! The Angels set up the entire party, she's the queen of decorating. There's fun activities, corn hole, water balloon fights, sparklers. She's in charge of deserts so there's cute little cakes and candies. The priestesses brings the kids out to celebrate with them.

•On the flip side, The Rye family has hosted a Forth of July party every year as well. Chad's bbq is there, there's usually some recreation of the Teasty Festy treats, Nick flies all the little kids around in his plane to see the fireworks from the sky. Pretty much everyone who doesn't show up here is at the Spread Eagle doin half price shots or doing whatever the hell Sharky is doing. The Ryes really just love any excuse to gather everyone together for something positive, something happy. Kim's Canadian. Nick has average levels of patriotism (aka hey! Its an excuse to grill and drink)

• Charlemagne Victor Boshaw is holding his own shindig at his place. There's pizza, and beer and weed. Do many people show up? No, but its hard to compete with Chad so he isn't complaining, really. Plus it means more for him! He and Hurk spend the whole day drinking, watching movies, and then spend all night lighting their ridiculously complicated homemade firework setup with flamethrowers and watching the whole sky turn white. God bless America for not making laws about flamethrower ownership.

[castleofcuntdracula]

Since I'm saving up for some things, and working on flexing some specific authorial muscles in advance of a big project, I thought I'd open up fic coms! £10 = 1000 words + however much I feel like continuing on a topic of your choice from this selection.

Not sure how tumblr will handle that image, so, full transcription/ID below:

A comission information sheet styled to resemble a pub menu or catalogue page. The heading reads "Gored Renfields, direct from my nightmares". The menu offers various pre-categorised scenarios, including cannibalism, guro, breeding, sickfic, and impact play.

Directly below the heading is text reading as follows:

BRUTAL SCENES of gore and agony will be wrought upon this man! Unlock your inner Dracula and watch our collective blorbo squirm as he suffers any of the options among this salacious selection. All described in this catalogue have been hand-picked directly from heart-pounding nightmares, and some even discussed in chat! Renfield may be subject to mutilation, mastication, and more as the events in this menu of the macabre unfold, and no inch of him is off- limits! Read through, consider these creations, & pick your- or rather, his- poison. Orders filled within three weeks.

The leftmost column is titled "Cannibalism", and is subdivided into the following options, each of which have an image, title, and subtitle:

Hog Roast. This text is accompanied by a black and white illustration of a roast suckling pig.

Subtitle: Trussed up and served is where Renfield starts this course...

He's the centrepeice of a spectacular meal, bound, gagged, and ready to be served. Spiced with historical dining knowledge and reveling in his inability to scream, this dish is for you if you like cannibalism, propriety rituals, and a good, gory party. Comes in human-on-human, vampire-on-human, and a milder role-play option (v).

Tapped Tree. This text has a black and white illustration of a metal spile, from which a drop of liquid hangs, hammered into a taphole in a tree.

Subtitle: Watch. Him. Bleed.

Did you know that a man of Renfield's height and weight has nearly 6 litres of blood? In this course, you can test this for yourself- watch as a variety of blood-related bad luck befalls our best boy. Is he serving the role of punch bowl at a vampiric soiree? Being drained dry as a punishment for failing to provide for his master? Offered up to the brides of Dracula, in an attempt to make peace? Or some devious scenario of your own creation? Either way, this option is a bloody good time!

Lethal Chef. This is accompanied by an illustration of alice and the cook from Alice's adventures in wonderland.

Subtitle: Most chefs try not to cut their fingers...

Renfield doesn't get the chance. Our favourite chew-toy really becomes one in this dish, wherein he is forced to prepare his own flesh. ALL of his body is available in this option; if he's not flexible enough to reach your favourite cut , someone else will retrieve it for you. Watch as he struggles through slicing, seasoning and searing parts of his own body; soothed by shallow healing or abandoned to your tastes. Options range from a brief, painful episode of autocannibalism, to a day slaving over a hot stove preparing his parts to feed a massive party. The choice is yours with this flexible, delectable form of torment.

Serve man. This is accompanied by an 1800s era illustration of various cuts of beef.

Subtitle: asking the delicate question.

In this world, it's eat or be eaten... This dish allows Renfield, at long last and probably against his will, to join his master in the consumption of human life. Be it snowed-in survival cannibalism or the privilege of sharing in a victim, this is what to order if you want to see Renfield with a mouthful of his kith and kin. There's a thousand ways to serve a cut of meat, and he's available for all of them-be it braised broiled or fresh enough to still be hot, this option sends Renfield to the ultimate culinary frontier.

The centre column is dominated by an outlined box containing the title "Butcher's Block", and a black and white photograph of the backroom of a butcher's shop. Below the photograph is the subtitle "Prime Cuts, Prime Prices!" Can you use into a description reading as follows:

In this à la carte atrocity, watch as Renfield is sectioned off and sold for consumption. You will get your pound of flesh be it back bacon, rump steak, or hawk; as well numerous others in this story! Farm-fresh and withing in agony, this dish features a Renfield being slowly and expertly deconstructed, with a variety of options resulting, including market stalls, wholesale halls, and a glimpse at how the sausage is made. Sprawl him out on the butcher's block in back or portion him out nicely and perfect packaging-this option is the best to really get into the meat of the man.

Below this are two text inserts. They read, in all caps: "amateur anatomist author, expert in pain" and "everything £10; less than a penny per word"

Below this, a section with headings for "scrap auction" and "highest bidder". There are two pictures of auction houses. These share a subtitle, which reads "sell his body, watch him suffer". The description is as follows:

Our dear Renfield is up for auction; standing in front of an audience in watching them assess his worth! Either piecemeal, is in the scrap auction option, or wholesale going to the highest bidder. What has he done to get himself sold? is it a true turning point in his life, or all some game he doesn't know he's playing? in this option, you can find out.

Below this is a section with the heading as you wish (customs). This has the subtitle "what, dear diner, is your will? Build your own, by the word." Below this are pricing options for custom one shots, all of which cost one pound per 100 words comma except the final, which is £20 for 2,500 words.

The lowermost block of the center column is split in half. On the left, is a section titled "inner world", with the subtitle "SCALPEL!" its description reads as follows:

This surgical smorgasbord is perfect for the medically-mine did among us. Rich with detail on organs, operations, and contemporary medical technology, this dish eschews surface-level suffering to explore what Renfield is like on the inside.

On the right, a section titled "Local Ails", with the subheading "Sick and twisted". Its description reads:

Drawing on a degree in immunology in a hundreds-strong Goodreads shelf dedicated to novel set in sanatoriums, this dish explores the horrors of pre-modern medicine, and of a Victorian immune system meeting modern germs. Be it consumption, cholera, or covid, choose this option to see our adored at his most afflicted.

The rightmost and final column is titled "smut". Like the left, it is divided into options. The first of these is titled "blood play", and headed by a Victorian medical illustration of the blood vessels and musculature of the neck, accompanied by the caption "Feel him from the inside". It's description is as follows:

Sex, blood, & rock and roll combine in this option, where Renfield bears his heart and soul in the bedroom. The author turns their anatomical knowledge to the sport of tormenting one R.M, revealing hidden facets, that they might be fucked. Be it woundfucking, knife play, biting or beyond, this is where to look if you like to taste sex and violence in the same bite.

The next title is spare the rod. It is accompanied by a woodcut of a man being flogged with a cat-o'-nine-tails. It has the subtitle "...Or not". Its description reads:

This dish sets this mess of a masochist up with exactly what he needs-a firm hand and a sore arse. In this option you'll find the cane, the tawse, the birch and more. If you want to see Renfield flogged, bound or suspended, ask for this at the counter, and be sure to be specific!

The next title is "Born and bred". It has the subtitle "eating, for two", and there's a company by an 1800 hand-drawn diagram of the anatomy of the uterus. It's description reads:

Knocked Up. Up the duff. In the family way. This option is all about pregnancy, breeding and mating, be that omegaverse, mpreg, or just some good old biologically-impossible kink. Spanning a broad spectrum from keep-coming-in-his-stomach-wound wishful thinking to baby-bumped Renfield bouncing on it and moaning, this option has something for everyone Oscar the counter for our full menu of pregnancy and pregnancy-adjacent kink.

The final category is "NOT IN STOCK (hard NOs), and is headed by a picture of empty supermarket shelves. Below this, it lists "underage, furry, scat, omo, necro" and states that we have the right to refuse service at any point before payment.

[onepiece-oc-archives]

is is ever mentioned when you're officially an adult in the one piece world? because Luffy sets sail at 17 and Koby joins the marines with 16, so perhaps you're considered an adult by that age? But according to Sabo you become a world noble at 18? (aren't you one either way if you're born into a noble family?) But then again, if Sabo wasn't (as some say) planned from the beginning, perhaps one should not place much value in this reasoning - idk. It rather feels like you're considered an adult at 16/17... since the other younger strawhats were also more or less on their own out their (or in Sanji's case having an actual job)... and then again there's Bonney who is 12 by the time she arrives in Sabaody with her own crew so... then there's that^^ (but she might be an expection since she usually looks like she's an adult)

Hi, thanks a lot for your question!

I don't think there's a set age for when you're an adult and in a lot of cases it probably doesn't really matter. Why? Because we're in a world of pirates and many children and teenagers have to learn how to fend for themselves early on, that's just the cruel reality. I'll try to give some ideas regarding the examples you gave and then name my headcanons for what I think the more "official" age limits might be.

First of all, I'd say Bonney is outright disqualified because of her devil fruit. One Piece doesn't really have a form of ID, so they can't check her age, but even if they could... you can't tell me Bonney wouldn't have a fake ID or get her way either way because she's a pirate.

Luffy setting sail at 17 is most likely because Ace sat sail at 17. Also, Luffy is Luffy, so he probably doesn't care about age limits.

I wouldn't say that Sanji having a job is really an issue here because cabin boys are common amongst pirates and so are kids helping out chefs in kitchens. Also, he begged for that job on his first ship and then got given the job by Zeff when they opened Baratie. They did open Baratie together, even though Sanji was a kid, so I can't see him not getting a job here. Who knows if he actually got paid either. I don't think we can apply our definition of what constitutes a job in this case.

Now with Sabo and Koby is where it gets interesting, so this is where I'm gonna get into my own headcanons.

I think the One Piece world might be working with similar age limits/requirements as we do here in Germany. That means you're legally considered of age when you're 18, but you already get to make some important legal decisions when you're 16, very rarely also as early as 14, usually with a legal guardian's approval.

Why do I think this is the case? Being of age with 18 lines up with what you said about Sabo and becoming a Celestial Dragon. Yes, you're born a Celestial Dragon but you probably only get the full privileges of one when you're of age - so, most likely 18. Koby joining the military 16 wouldn't work here in Germany, but it's only one year off and I'm pretty sure the bar used to be lower - which, One Piece takes place in a more historical-esque setting, so we can probably assume 16 would be the minimum age requirement. Especially with the Marines being this present in day-to-day life and supported by the Government.

Why did I say Germany instead of any other country with the same age limit? Well, on one hand because I live here, but also because of one specific reason: Alcohol. Usopp (at least in the live action) got completely wasted at Baratie and I'm pretty sure Baratie is a place that would check your ID if you wanted a drink (at least if it's running normally, not like when Koby and Helmeppo showed up). Usopp is 16 but he still managed to get wasted, most famously off that huge bowl of fruit punch or whatever that was. I'm very sure that that stuff would fall into the category of drinks you'd be allowed to get at 16 in Germany. Light alcohol like wine and beer at 16, hard stuff at 18. Some more hints towards it being like that in the One Piece world too are that Zoro and Nami had no problems getting rum, which is hard alcohol, and they're 19 and 18 respectively. Helmeppo was also easily able to order shots for himself and Koby and he's 20 at that time. What we can definitely be sure of is that the limit isn't 21.

Whatever the age requirements are, I believe that, while they would be universal for anything involving the Marines or the Government and probably be enforced too, in the realm of pirates they don't really matter. Like, as a bartender, are you really going to deny a pirate crew some vodka for their 14-year-old cabin boy? It's either you give alcohol to a kid and maybe pay a fine or you lose a limb - I think the answer is very clear. Different kingdoms could probably adjust the age requirements to their liking, but I don't think they could lower them too much. But I don't know, that's just speculation at this point.

All in all, being in adult in the world of One Piece probably depends a lot more on the respect people have for you and how independent you are than your age.

I hope these rambles helped at all - have a lovely day!

[alister312]

i feel like i haven’t made a gregstophe thing in while…. losing my gregstophe cred so here’s some hobby headcanons!!

Gregory is definitely a journaler. He started some time in elementary or middle school with the hopes of leaving behind a fantastic historical record but as he grew up, he realized that was a bit unrealistic. He kept the habit though, as it’s a good way to relax and keep his mind sharp. Usually he uses very nice leather-bound notebooks because he likes the aesthetic and how they look on the shelf when he’s filled them. Sometimes he’ll go and read them, especially if he needs a pick me up and wants a good memory. At one point he considered turning them into a memoir but realized that a lot of stuff he’d written about him doing was illegal or would put him under a lot of scrutiny (revolutionary life) so the journals are just for him.

While Gregory likes the idea of pets in theory, I don’t think he’s huge fan of the mess they end up making everywhere (he’s already got one creature in his house making things messy, he really can’t handle a second one lol). However, because of that, he’d be really drawn to fish! He’d have a huge tank with all sorts of plants floating on top, lots of colorful fish, a complex filtration system, etc. If/When he and Christophe get a house, he’d really push for a koi pond just so he has more fish to look after. Christophe agrees because he thinks Gregory’s fish are cool even though he doesn’t understand why they can’t just live in a bowl and be given fish flakes.

He tries hard to pretend he isn’t, but Gregory is definitely into rich upperclass people sports like like pickleball and golf. He grew up playing them with his family so there’s a bit of nostalgia involved in it. Christophe teases Gregory whenever he tries to casually suggest that they go play for a little bit, just for fun. Usually Gregory has to convince someone else to go with him (often Tolkien who has a similar nostalgia-based interest in playing).

Christophe is really into gardening and plant care (shocker lol). When he was a kid he got yelled at a lot for digging up the yard, so he would replant stuff to try and make the lectures just a bit less intense. It was also a good excuse as to why he was coming in covered with dirt or why there was dirt all over his floor. Eventually he started doing it because he liked it, not just for the excuse. Sometimes he tries crossbreeding plants but mostly he just grows them as they are.

While Christophe would never go to a regular gym, he does go to a boxing gym. He wants to keep himself in good fighting conditions for obvious mercenary reasons and he feels like just having a real sparring partner is much better than a punching bag. It’s one of the few places where he’s got a number of people he’s friendly with since he’s literally required to interact with people. Despite that, Christophe kind of latches onto the few people he found he liked at the beginning (like Tweek).

From whittling to sculpting, Christophe really likes making things with his hands. Initially it was something to pass the time like when sitting around with a knife so he picks up a stick, or finding clay while digging and making a little thing. He also likes putting together random bits of trash he has. Gregory keeps close track of his paper clips because there’s a good chance if Christophe sees them lying around he will twist them into something else, rendering them unusable. He displays all the mangled paper clip creations on his desk though, as well as other things Christophe makes because he thinks they’re nice.

[transthadymacdermot]

What kind of alcohol do the peasants drink? Is there a variety of types? How young do kids start drinking recreationally?

Okay so this is more of a historical question than a story question but I will try to keep this as writing-related as possible

The peasants typically drink poitín or poteen, a type of illegal (specifically illegal. it's not poitín if it's legal) Irish alcohol made in small pot stills in isolated locations to hide from the authorities. Good fictional depictions of what it is/how it was made/its role in society in the time period that my writing takes place can be found in the book The MacDermots of Ballycloran by Anthony Trollope, or in the early parts of the film Arracht, and the best nonfiction discussion of the role it played in society (and in sectarian conflict) in Ulster in the late 18thc I've found thus far is in the book The Men of No Property by Jim Smyth, in the very early chapters. Read one of those if you want more detail but for now I'll say that it's just generally illegal alcohol of dubious quality -- it might help usamerican followers to think of it as being like if moonshine was Irish (down to the "don't drink that you'll go blind 😡" stuff). And that there are Game of Thrones levels of machinations going on between rival distillers in $the background of the story (as there were with real poteen makers), but the only indication of it in the text is a couple of throwaway comments from Maguire

They pretty exclusively stick to poteen. You might say that there are different types because it... varies in quality depending on who made it and how willing the person drinking it is to drink the shadiest liquid ever produced out of desperation. Also since there isn't really a formal recipe due to the whole illegality thing it's possible that the ingredients vary but the characters don't really make the distinction

I'll admit that I'm not really sure because I've not read a lot of academic writing about recreational drinking amount Irish peasants at the time 😔 but from the general impression I have of society at the time I'd say quite young, maybe mid teens. Don't quote me on that though because it doesn't have much bearing on the story so I haven't done a terrible amount of research on it

EDIT: OH AND I CAN'T BELIEVE I FORGOR THIS they also drink punch. This is more expensive than poitín due to the ingredients and so they generally only drink it on special occasions (like at a wedding that occurs near the beginning, or when they blow up a bridge and want to celebrate). They also get drunker off it because u can just dip your cup right in the communal punch bowl and therefore it's harder to gauge how much you've had (this is something real that various people in the late 18thc complained about wrt punch drinking apparently lmao). Also there's a few times where the drinking of legal whiskey is mentioned because there was a tradition at the time where when the poorest tenants actually paid their rent for once the landlord would be expected to give them a glass to celebrate, to the point where everybody would get really mad if this all-important ritual was not performed. Thank you Maria Edgeworth for teaching me this 🔥

[thethirdromana]

This threw me back on Ransome, who seemed the least wicked of that gang, and who soon came out of the inn and ran to me, crying for a bowl of punch. I told him I would give him no such thing, for neither he nor I was of an age for such indulgences.

You think you're reading a fun historical coming-of-age romp, and then all of a sudden you're down a google rabbit hole that has you reading someone's history thesis from 1994.

This paragraph took me by surprise, because I wasn't aware that there were any laws against children drinking alcohol either in 1751, when the novel is set, or even in 1886, when it was published.

Frustratingly, I haven't been able to fact-check this. From 1901, children under 14 were prohibited from buying alcohol from a pub unless it was in a sealed container to take away (implicitly, for their parents, though some children certainly then unsealed the container and drank it), but what the law was before then, I haven't been able to find out. This article suggests that there were some restrictions, but not what they were.

What particularly struck me is that Davie is seventeen - the average Scottish seventeen year old is happy to drink punch (i.e. a mixed drink with spirits) in the modern day, so I was startled to see Davie being more cautious about strong drink in the 1750s.

I think this is probably because of the context of the novel being written at a time when alcohol consumption by children, particularly of spirits (as compared with the beer that Davie opts for), was a significant concern. I'd guess RLS is trying to encourage good habits in his younger readers, hoping that they might imitate Davie and not the hard-drinking Ransome.

[florallychaotic]

Breaking News: The "Zombie by the Cranberries song is about The Troubles and not a Halloween song" guy and the "What, do you not find the events of The Troubles and the historical context that lead to it horrifying?" guy have been found making out over the punch bowl at the Halloween party

[upsettingandunfortunateclasshate]

😂

What a job having to rebuild it from the rubble

I love when cultural vandals get their comeuppance

[saints-who-never-existed]

Episode Five: Random Rewatch Observations

1. Little stumbles as he enters the room to speak to Fitzjames and it melts my heart every time.

2. Interesting to note, given what is spoken about between him and Crozier later in the mutineers camp, that Goodsir happens to be translating the Inuktitut word for ‘Feet’ when we first see him in this episode.

3. That ‘frozen toe clinking into a bowl’ sound effect really is something!

4. I really like that little detail of Dr MacDonald lifting down a chair from a special hook on the wall. It’s so cool to see all the ingenious little ways they would’ve had to save space on the ship historically.

5. I love Hartnell so much in Dead Room scene – willing to hoist a whole-ass heavy corpse on his shoulder and man-handle it along singlehandedly just because his pal was scared.

6. Also love the combination of Blanky’s double face-palm at Crozier’s unreasonableness and Little’s indignant head-shake and pleading look in Blanky’s direction. I’m sure they must have talked at length with one another before about Crozier’s bullshit – I would so love to have seen more of both their working relationship and their personal one.

7. It’s hilarious to me that Crozier’s first instinct when challenged about the whisky is to deny everything like a naughty schoolboy – “I did no such thing!”

8. Also hilarious that, on closer inspection, not only does he not appear to actually land his punch but he also goes flying into a door/wall right afterward.

9. I’d also love to see more of the relationship between Blanky and MacDonald – two good dudes just trying to get on with their jobs.

10. A great hero moment for Hickey battering off the caulk and being the first one up on deck! He’s another good dude getting on with his job at least in that moment and he’s so ready to help, no hesitation. Heart-breaking stuff!

11. A good hero moment for Hodgson too! I don’t really like the common characterisation of him as a garrulous cowardly dumbass – he’s a good lieutenant and is perfectly ready to charge back into the jaws of Tuunbaq-related death. That’s bravery!

12. God I love that moment of quiet tension when they’re all looking up, totally powerless and trapped as Hickey batters away at the door. It reminds me of a platoon of soldiers all crammed together in a landing craft on D-Day. Just waiting.

13. A possible goof! Little takes his hat off twice in the same scene – once when the toast is called then two seconds later when they’re all gathering in to hold Blanky down.

14. Also, I’ve never noticed before but Little appears to already be in the room with Crozier when the other three – MacDonald, Fitzjames, and Jopson – enter. I’d give anything to hear what could’ve been said between them, but it seems more likely they would’ve just been sitting in oppressively angry exhausted silence at that point. It’s so interesting and weird to me that he’s totally blocked from view for the majority of the scene too, completely inscrutable.

15. Also dramatic, interesting, and very weird for Crozier to order so specifically that the whisky be poured over the Tuunbaq’s blood on the ice. There’s surely a deeper meaning to that though I can’t parse at the moment what exactly it is.