#his voice..makes me feel things ok
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havent seen this take in a while thankfully but it popped up in my head and i wanna post this anyways. i think everyone who talks about how siffrin “got off too easy” at the end of isat and his friends should have abandoned him should go read warrior cats if they want an example of a character using their trauma as their god-given jailbreak card to treat their family and peers (a good amount of whom who were completely innocent) like dogshit, and who faces zero consequences from the narrative for it (and in fact bends over to blame their peers). like read all the shit jayfeather does while the narrative sobs over how tragic but awesome and quirky he is and then look me in the eye and tell me siffrin’s ending was poorly written.
#or look at titania from reborn. what who said that#at least siffrin’s trauma is actually developed and taken deadly seriously by the narrative and clearly isnt being used to excuse his behav#behavior#siffrin does some shitty things in the story but theyre very obviously in a horrible state mentally and physically thats been breaking them#down little by little by little until theyve exploded and broken down. and his family still holds him accountable for what he did#but they stay with him anyways because they love and respect and care about him and are horrified to learn his situation#meanwhile ivypool goes through trauma yeah but shes not really written like a realistic trauma victim#and when she hurts her sister over and over and over and over and over again its always her sister who has to make it up at the end#and we all gotta sob and coo over ivy because shes the fan favoriteand if you criticize her then you hate trauma victims#(ignoring dovewing’s trauma from the situation as well i might add)#while ivy never gets to grow or acknowledge how her attitude is hurtful to herself and others#its just ‘’well dovewing had it better so she better shut the fuck up and deal with the constant emotional abuse ivy throws at her’’#imagine if isat ended with siffrin going ‘’actually im not sorry bc you all havent suffered as much as me’’#and the party didnt object to that at all and they were like ‘’yes we do have it better so youre justified in hurting us#and also you are the most tragic character ever so you cant face emotional consequences ever’’#(and before anyone goes ‘’well dovewing left the clan and ivypool feels bad about that’’ the story doesnt position it as a consequence of#her behavior to her sister. canonically shes leaving to be with her baby daddy and SHES framed as the one hurting her sister#and shes the one whos gotta mend that rift. while the narrative doesnt acknowledge that that situation was partly her sisters fault at all#)#ok sorry for wc on main jumpscare. i wouldve posted over on the blog but i dont think people over there have played isat#echoed voice#isat spoilers
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pls i need to provide updates
#basically yesterday night was chaharshanbe suri . which is a solar new yr tradition where we let go of the past suffering in our year#and like...start the new yr w fresh vigour . anyway so my friend was at the event and we were abt to leap over the fire#and she was like bro im im glad u blocked her (situationship) etc etc . and then. my phone started vibrating. and i look at it. and my f#friend looks at it. and its her. and were both like what the fuck?? i blocked her things r Over and anyway so i pick up the phone and shesl#acting like nothing happened (bc nothing DID happen for her) and she was like ohh ur doing chaharshanbe suri im not doing anything etc what#are ur new yr plans so i jusr .IDK WHY I DID THIS . but ig i didnt wanna come off as like lonely i said probably hanging out w family and#friends maybe reading poetry together . et cetera and she was like wait that sounds so fun why didnt u invite me!#LIKE WDYM YOUVE BEEN CONSISTENTLY MAKING IT CLEAR U DONT WANT TO BE IN MY PRESENCE . and i told her that after#everything i thought she didnt want to see me again and she was like you always think that 😐 . like. ?? ok anyway so she expects me to#invite her . and like. there is an above 0% but sub-5% chance she will actually show up . but the panic that gripped me#i started making calls to my friends asking them if they can come on the 23rd bc there must be an event and also i asked my mother#and she said actually yeah i am doing a thing on the 23rd :D it involves over 16 ppl (we live in a v small flat) of which like...7 are kids#so you wont have space to be in ur own room let alone invite others. which tbh like ...being around a bunch of loud kids doesnt seem fun fo#any of my friends or me etc so i thought maybe i should arrange things so that we all go out together and if she shows up she shows up 🤷♀️#but . im so. WHY DID I SAY THAT . i had to panic-call my research partner and ask him to get from oxf to where i live on the 23rd#and when he heard the explanation he like. the light in his voice disappeared 💀 but he potentially agreed so idk#THE ISSUE IS. 23rd im supposed to also have . a date#w this girl that i had a huge crush on when i was 15-16 (posted abt this b4 but id get shitty black coffee in the mornings just to spend a#few more minuted w her each day and she was the cleverest girl in school and she cared abt nothing but her academics but now shes very gay#scraggly homosexual etc etc shes cute) and YEAH IDK#like id have to go there on the date come back fast meet ppl POTENTIALLY (again under 5%) meet situationship girl#like is that even doable#but the thing is it would be so so so funny bc all of my friends dislike her sooo much#.........what if i invited the girl im supposed to have a date w over to hang out w us#god that would be so hilarious and chaotic . i wont do it tho im a mature person x#but it would be soooo funny#I HAVE AN ASSIGNMENT DUE TMRW 12:30PM IT IS 10:49PM RN I HAVENT STARTED IT bc i was rotting sadly in bed#popped a ritalin pill tho so here we go x#i have found myself in a state of such sheer agony and rage and sorrow and grief over this girl that atp i feel like#its just so entertaining . like i feel vaguely over it? ik nothing will come of it so its like just . have fun . vibe
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not even gonna tag this properly bc i don't wanna get Involved but i do have some Thoughts i need to get out into the void so here we go
(aaa quick edit: CW for mention/discussion of Boothill leaks)
#today's gone Badly and i'm upset but instead of venting abt it i'm gonna channel that energy into doing a bit of tag rambling abt Boothill#well. less abt Him and more abt uh. self-analyzing my anxiety surrounding contributing to fandoms. he's just today's catalyst#like. i know it's mostly a me thing. i'm hypersensitive to criticism and very conflict avoidant + socially anxious + perfectionistic etc.#so I'm the one that keeps myself from posting more stuff out of fear of being criticized or called-out for what i've made#bc inevitably Someone's gonna see it and think its OOC or a problematic take or they'll misread my intent. etc etc what have you#but like. that's inevitable. there's no way to communicate every single thing with all of the nuance required to avoid misunderstandings#and other times it's not a misunderstanding it's just a difference of opinions and that's Fine!! there's no accounting for personal taste#there's no accounting for several things actually. taste‚ bias‚ lore-knowledge‚ differing levels of chronic-online-ness‚ etc#so this isn't me complaining abt the state of fandom culture (although i do think. sometimes. ppl take shit a bit too seriously)#but anyways all of this is mostly just anxiety-fueled. it's not like i very often actually even receive negative feedback or anything#if anything ppl tend to tell me that i'm overthinking it and killing my own fun and worried that my stuff is more OOC than it is#which like. yeah. Yeah u right :) but that's just the way that i am! always losing the idgaf war i suppose#anyways what's Boothill got to do w this ur wondering. well. i've been thinking abt the quickly emerging concept that he's illiterate.#and it just. has me feeling a lot of ways. and watching ppl disagree over it has me feeling some Bad ways. bc it's def a loaded topic!#if you'll pardon the pun there. and i don't rlly have anything new to add other than that i'm conflicted abt it.#like yeah i saw the leaks days ago. of him mentioning 'not hitting the books' much as a child when we ask him why he sends voice messages#or voice Transcriptions ig. ykwim. and like. *braces for impact* ...i liked it? like. it doesn't feel right to call it endearing#i'm not trying to infantilize him. ok that's not the right word either but ugh. you know? what i mean?? who am i kidding even i don't know#it's not quite right to say that it feels like Representation either. but it's something close i guess#as a southern person myself who didn't receive a 'complete' education due to factors that weren't to do with my intelligence#the concept of seeing him as a capable force to be reckoned with and respected who also happens to have not received much formal education#i like that. i do. but there's so many issues w it at the same time. like. as i said‚ being southern myself has me Wary of the way Hoyo is-#writing him. as well as of the way that the fandom is taking the bits of his lore and running away w them. and i'm Very aware of how ppl-#will see a southern character and be All Too Eager to agree that they're lacking intelligence based on our Redneck™ stereotype#sigh. and before we even go too far with this. it's not even confirmed that hes completely illiterate. which is a valid criticism i've seen#there's Multiple reasons that could make him prefer voice to text. but regardless. i'm just worried that ppl will misconstrue my intentions#like. example: that edit i made the other day of him saying 'no thanks i can't read'. wasn't me playing into the stereotype of-#'haha dumb country boy can't read!' it was. in my eyes. something he'd say as a joke to make light of a potential insecurity#like. i think there's far more depth to Boothill's character if ppl could look past the surface. and i dont wanna contribute to the problem#but sometimes ppl Will have stereotypical traits and i wish the same could apply to characters as long as it's done Thoughtfully.
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me when i write a character who is prone to dooming themself and then they run off and doom themself. core traits are stubbornness and a willingness to disregard their own humanity gET BACK HERE IM NOT DONE WITH YOU
#rambling#surprisingly this is not about jakob.. im just really consistent about my favorite character archetypes 😭😭#WARNING THE NOTES ON THIS ARE REALLY LONG I STARTED RAMBLING#“ouhh i have a headache i'll just lie down and rotate my blorbos in no general direction for a while until it goes away” and then boom.#serious plot considerations. 2 questions answered 24million new questions raised. this is specifically Not what i asked for.#so now im sitting here STILL dizzy running mental calculations on how i can get this bitch out of peril without reworking everything#but they literally keep dying in every timeline 😭😭 every single plausible road leads to them running off and screwing themself over#“character who doesn't realize they want to live until it's way too late to look back” VS#“character who is forced to live and handle the things they never though they'd survive long enough to deal with” FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT.#fucking hell i have never had this much trouble writing a character as i have with them#they genuinely do just run off and do shit without my permission and then i have to pace for an hour or two wondering#“ok they wOULD do that. but should they. do i feel like i can confidently write that.”#im like constantly in this tug of war trying to get them to CHILL#but also they are absolutely my favorite character from the entire project. but like. FUCK GET BACK HERE#is death the most satisfying end to this arc? is someone who was Set on dying then NOT dying the most satisfying end to the arc?#how many bridges can you burn until you irreparably set yourself aflame too?#would ghost or revival plotline work?? would it make sense with the worldbuilding??#do i just Like Them enough to want them to not die?? where do i draw the line between personal bias and a good arc?#is death not feeling as impactful as survival solely because i've been writing for so long that it's lost the initial impact?#and other such plot considerations...#im gonna have such an easy time writing another character though 😭😭 because THAT character's dynamic in the second act#is to stare at character 1 and be like “why are you like this. i mean i know Why but can you chill. please.” and like damn bro me too#actually wait no i think kaey.a is the hardest character i've ever written i take it back#had to worry about his 20million facades AND his Actual feelings AND canon compliance. shit is hard#i still havent finished the k/aeya fic i started back when the chasm first released which is uhh. two years ago. oops.#i think i struggle writing emotionally repressed liars i think thats what this is 😭😭 anyways.#(voice of guy who has been obsessed with nonlinear narratives and tragedies for several years):#“is it too much to kill this character in a nonlinear exploration game with tragic elements”#like bitch what are you talking about 😭😭 YOU'RE the target audience here figure it out#sorry the notes on this are just my writing journal now apparently
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At which point did you realise that the plot of IW is ass? I've seen people complain only about the ending or the halfway point where the teams separate, while I was already actively rolling my eyes like four-five chapters in
i think the moment i fully accepted that IW's story was. Definitely A Story was the moment ebina announced 'bleach japan'. like i think leading up to that point i was thinking to myself 'oh i hope i see X happen' or being like 'i wonder where this is going' and that sort but the proverbial bucket of ice was definitely that moment
#infinite wealth spoilers#snap chats#what reaaaaally hammered it in too if it wasnt obvious already was the execution of the jimas/daigo like that still irks me LMAO#i cant even remember what chapter that happened in i just know when it did i was utterly pissed#i think i started to take things less seriously once bryce entered the picture but thats only because of how distracting his VA was#like much love the JP voice actors who try to speak english and japanese but i just cant act like it's not incredibly distracting#esp when the character is supposed to be white yk what i mean- or at the very least their first language is supposed to be english#typically i can look over that thing if its a one or two time kind of deal but he had to speak in english much longer than others#im just rambling about bryce tho this aint bout him. i mean he could be a part of it the cult was executed really sloppily#it might have been the introduction of bryce actually ... i remember thinking to myself 'oh brother' with the whole messiah thing LMAO#maybe it was when kiryu told us his cancer cam from radiation instead of. smoking 💀 ESPECIALLY not even five chapters in#like straight out the gate you just wanna drop that on us mr I Can Do Everything Myself I Cant Worry Others ok#thats a post for another day tho im EVERYWHERE#POINT IS this is not about Retrospect this is about First Impressions and memory warps over time#but i know for a fact i found the bleach japan thing utterly ridiculous and was squinting at the plot the entire time thereafter#like ive said this a million times at this point but although i love IW for it's gameplay (pardon some nitpicks like lack of shortcuts)#its story really feels so messy and had much to be desired. which is so sad after the wonderful stories rgg has been making since 0..#BUT OH WELL im still excited to replay it in english. god willing i ever get the time#i still wanna finish lost judgment <- isnt even halfway through the game#and i wanna do a fun stream Maybe with YK2 but ill get into that when i get into that#if youve read this far. thanks LOL id say sorry for the novel but thats what we expect of me at this point
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last night I played league of legends and I did viktor botlane with my friend and it was actually the most fun I've had playing that game in a long time....... vik........... hhnng
#I WANT TO PLAY HIM....#ok I'm pretty terrible at him still lol but I think I'm learning#and it's fun to me to play a character I haven't played much before#I have to learn how to use his abilities and such#his voice lines make me.#make me feel things#do you still love me even though I play league of legends
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good fucking food
#tomgreg#OH GOD OH FUCK#greg has agreed to do whatever tom has asked every time and this is the first time he's been like#no actually i'm gonna go to the bros myself despite the fact that tom told him not to#and tom's already taken the hit of nate being invited to the party which is still a sore spot#bc it was supposed to be his and sh*v's party just like it was supposed to be his and sh*vs wedding yet nate is there. again.#so he's like. ok greg let's strategise [i find strategy sexy] make me feel secure with you#and when greg does in fact not do that... oh man. tom's face he's noooot happy about it!!!#his voice goes all high pitched and he does an expression actually similar to sh*v lol#like FINE WHATEVER I DONT CARE DO WHAT YOU WANT [narrator voice: he did in fact care a lot]#but then he touches greg's back!!!!! aaargahrga! tom you are so transparent!!!! he's so very clearly attached to both sh*v and greg#like atp i don't care. he feels similarly to greg as he does to sh*v i've seen enough evidence this season to prove that to me#as in. feelings. romantically. when they hurt him he still loves them and is gentle with them until he can't take it any more.#i don't know when we'll see what happens with greg maybe next episode GOD#if the firing thing does happen which i don't want!!!! god!!!!! maybe THEN we'll see it#maybe an argument somewhat like his and sh*v's tho obviously not to the scale but like. WHO HAS HAD YOUR BACK THIS WHOLE TIME#WHO HAS EVER LOOKED AFTER YOU IN THIS FUCKING FAMILY#god. i need to seeee that. don't just leave it hangin jesse i'm begging you bestie#but like he is soooo bpd it is actually insane. i shake his hand#also ''team kenro'' probably wasn't grea tfor him to hear adksjds#WDYM TEAM KENRO DONT YOU MEAN TEAM NERSPOR >:(((
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#my dad made it painfully fucking clear that he hated me from the age of like 12-14#and he always blamed it on my age#yk 'teenage girls are sooo difficult to raise'#and it took a handful of really big arguments#and countless smaller ones#for him to decide that hey maybe i actually want to have a decent relationship with my daughter#and acts like ive grown as a oerson and all our arguments before were all my fault#but now ive changed and we dont butt heads as much anymore#even though i havent really changed much at all#i just decided that my mental health was more important to me than the man who said to my face that he wishes i was never born#i changed nothing#i just decided to just say ok fine whatever you can be right if that makes you feel better#and move on#and i thought i was done with the constant arguing every fucking day#i mean we still dont gt along that well all the time but i thought i would at least be able to fucking breathe#except now my brother at that age#where hes constantly arguing with my dad#its an everyday thing#and its just been getting worse#and idk i guess im a really emotional person so anytime my dad so much as raises his voice#at literally anyone#im a fucking mess#i guess the difference between me and my brother#my brother wont cry in front in front of our dad#and he'll just let him say whatever he wants he wont protest or anything#he just says ok#but i always cry when my dad yells at me#and i also always yell back#idk which is more draining though. idk im just a mess im so tired#i thought i was done but now its gonna be like this till i move out.
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anyway - head over heels for that old man <3
#he really plays into the conspiracy part of his tag in this episode#also a blorbo dies but thats by the by#conspiracy husband <3#ok ramble abt Gwen in the tags#I really like her! i know shes his first wife and all but shes so well written i kinda love her#and do you guys know how funny it is so have an f/o who fucks in cannon /joke#she's as crazy as him and still has/had (he fucks up in this episode w her lol) respect for him#i expected to be really jealous but i actually really like her. one of the traits of John i really like is his dedication to his interests#*cough* autisim *cough* and shes the same as him. so i find her really endearing#i also really love her speech and vocal patterns. i just really like how she talks lol#one of my fav things about Lanik is his voice so i think I just like voices that scratch my brain and hers really does#shes so cool i love her#also unrelated but i like how we can hear Fin shuffling in the background and John just goes 'This is a private conversation' to him#HES SO FUNNY#she wanted to be with him again but John had to lie to her to protect her and others and it breaks my heart#she says 'going BACK on medication'...i love her <3 bt it imples she was so sick John couldnt cope#and Liv makes a good point - shes mentally ill and she feels bad for her. its sweet.#i actually didnt know Fin didnt know who Gwen was!#that surprised me. I forgot that was Baltimore lore of John. not NY stuff#tbf John didnt know Ken existed so it evens out lol
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i saw devs when it came out + then kinda forgot it existed for years but i remember rly liking it so im rewatching now and this might sound kinda dumb but lyndon being played by a woman was genuinely a gender turning point for me like its never commented on or made into a whole deal its just. a cis actress playing a cis guy
#i just appreciate that they cast the best person for the role and then didnt go around changing details later to make her fit into it#they were just like well here's this teenage boy. have fun#and ik it was partly bc they wanted the character to look rly young but didnt want to hire child actors#but smth abt it just clicked for me#honestly i respect even garland more for explicitly saying that the character isnt intended to be trans it was just a casting choice#bc ppl were getting worked up like ugh why didnt they just change his character into a girl called lynda. or make lyndon nonbinary 🙄#like to me thats not the point. gender is already a performance anyway so for someone who performs for a living-#what difference does it make really.#non conformance to gender isnt a trans exclusive thing as well. i think it would be good for more ppl to keep that in mind sometimes#idk if i necessarily identify as trans but id started using he/him pronouns before i first saw devs and smth abt it just made me feel seen#anyway ik in theatre and voice acting theyll often have actresses play male roles but its uncommon in live action tv#so just kinda cool! ok ramble over im gonna go find smth to do w the rest of my morning#.diaries
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#keroro#i love this. she is me. i can live my unbridled amounts of cute aggression towards him THRU HER#i literally need to do this irl#like i just skimmed ep 64 bc i was curious about this trauma switch thing and ive never wanted to grab him and whack him around more#in an affectionate way not because im mad at him oh no. i understand him so deeply. i feel him. i know his most inner psyche.#and he inspires unrecorded levels of senseless violence in me#me in my little ignoramus bubble writing a 4 pages dissertation on his character anyway bc like. i get him ok#his deep seated sense of guilt that he's constantly fighting against. that he needs to repress and deny in order to function.#his fear of abandonment. fear of never being enough. not being able to make up for it. for himself. thats why hes self sacrificing#his selfish childishness that comes from not having been allowed a lot in his youth. taking friends for granted in his past but knowing -#you dont fit in with them. constantly apologizing for yourself. taking space. too much. self indulgence. because friends is s scary concept#and yet one you couldnt survive without. letting them walk all over you. denying your anger. your fears. crawling back to them with a smile#at their feet and biting time because what you really want is friends. company. but you think you don't deserve it. deep down.#maybe u dont. your worst reminder the friend you love. and if they ditch you it's deserved. you don't need them (you do)#why am i rambling!!!! he has ruined me. if im wrong dont even tell me bc i prefer this version in my head anyway#*charlie voice* look at me. psychological trauma up to here#im not saying growing up poor with a father that shames you for your interests and ''disciplines'' you made him selfish but. no yes!#i am saying that. bc i know how it is. growing up with friends that have a lot that u can never afford. u feel guilty just being with them#ok we strayed a lot from the og post which is just me saying I WANNA PUNCH THIS GUY SO BAD (he is me)#keroro gunso
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What are your ultimate faves?
HRM if i had to pick ultimate faves i'd probably have to go with albedo thoma and eula :D which i probably dont talk a lot about but ahaha i feel like theyre the ones that probably haunt me a LOT which is particularly funny w thoma bc hes Just Some Guy BUT he is one of my comfort characters for a reason
#and if you want to hear me ramble heres my long tag rambles:#albedos a synthesized human but for one who isnt human he feels very human#AND as someone who doesnt like to fall into think pessimistically about the world i appreciate his focus on beauties in life (while also#(acknowledging the bad ahahaha)#thoma's just like. the best kind of friend ! idk how to explain it without like bawling my eyes out super hard#AND THEN THERES EULA#SO OKAY EULA. HER WHOLE BACKSTORY OF TRYING TO STRIVE FROM HER BAD BACKGROUND TO MAKE A PLACE FOR HERSELF#TO PROVE SHE CAN BE GOOD - THAT SHE CAN BE MORE THAN THE BAD FAMILY NAME#THE STRUGGLE MAKES ME SEETHE AND MAKES ME ACHE SO HARD#like like like like listen#if you have the time#and if youre down for like chill (sad) song. please listen to stay down by boygenius#its a very eula song to me and it makes me want to eat wood :)!#answered#anons#o also albedos development is so lovely aaaaaaaa#AND HIS VOICE IS VERY NICE LMAOOO THATS WHY I GLUED MY EYEBALLS ON HIM#i didnt care for his design too much until he spoke and i went '...ok. fine i suppose'#game said 'eat shit heres your new fave character ever'#OH WAIT WAIT WAIT ONE MORE THING ABOUT ALBEDO#rather than the cold researcher characters! hes a very warm and compassionate researcher!! and thats why it makes#it all the better to enjoy listening to him ramble about life and bio and blahblahblahblah#BUT ANYWAYS hi. thats enough of me rambling about albedo 🤡
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im sorry ik this is a fan project and i dont want to shit on the ones who made it but like…. am i crazy in thinking breloom isnt a victim here at all
#like ok yes getting kicked out was overkill but tbh thats pretty ooc anyways#chatot says they need recruits he wouldnt kick someone out for disobeying him#anyways tho like? breloom literally sounds like a nightmare to work with anyways bc he just refuses to help out and wont communicate#he just assumes chatot will read his mind and take the reserve stock even tho he LITERALLY SAYS ITS LOW#like that implies hes running out and doesnt have enough!!#like. yeah i dont think chatot is wrong in telling breloom hes not cut out for exploring bc if he throws a hissy fit over small tasks#then like. hows he gonna act when he does a request he considers beneath him?#its not like hes singled out either chatot says earlier in THIS VERY HACK that he likes to send one team at a time#to get perfect apples#that combined w him shitting on the survey mission chatot gives you just makes him feel weird#like… this is a guy who helps out a small village in canon and does survey work anyways#if this breloom was in that team hed probably throw a fit over having to establish the driftblim system#idk even when they want me to despise chatot and feel cathartic it doesnt work#like we get it you never got over the apple woods thing whatever idc tho#echoed voice
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just. something about being pulled to simon’s lap and being told to ride his thigh makes me feel heady. the way you are told to get off using him; and so you do, rutting slowly, muted pleasure not enough to bloat your euphoria. you claw at his chest and at his stomach, fisting the fabric of his shirt because every glide is just. it’s not enough.
your teeth dig into the flesh of your lips as you move your hips at his beckoning; simon holds onto your waist for purchase, not really manhandling you but using it as leverage. as means of propping you up again after every jolted curl of your body. you don’t know how much more of this you can handle because god, you need more.
but simon just pushes your hair away from your face after every watery plea you warble out, and presses a long kiss on your temple, before murmuring, “jus’ once, yeah sweet’art? won’t you do that f’r me?”
and when simon asks this way — when your pleasure is his just as much as it is yours, even when his cock is left straining underneath his boxers — you find that you can’t… deny him of his pleas. of his rumbled sweet talking.
so you nod, huffing only for it to splinter as a particular glide on his thigh rubs on your sex beautifully. you hiss, eyes fluttering. simon responds with an equally pleasured hum.
“go on, baby,” he coos. “wan’ see you cum like this.”
“ok-ay,” you gasp out, your voice so quiet and weak because everything is just so much wetter now. messier. your sensitive skin feels fever-warm pressed on his slicked thigh, and you hump on him harder, chasing that rising pleasure.
that peaking bliss, leaving your toes curling because you’re so close—
the only thing you remember during your orgasm was the feeling like your ears are packed with cotton, leaving you to hear the world in this fluffed up static that pinches every iota of sound into a heavy white noise.
fuck.
simon’s right. this is fun.
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˚✦ ˑ 𝐄𝐱𝐜𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐒𝐢𝐫, 𝐝𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐯𝐢𝐫𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐰𝐞𝐧𝐭? ִֶ 𓂃⊹ - MDNI
WARNINGS: NSFW - MDNI, Pet names, sexual behavior, name calling, some a bit rough and mean
SUMMARY: They took your virginity. Case solved.
CHARACTERS: HSR Men X F!Reader (no aged up Charas)
WORD COUNT: 13.150
Argenti
All you can do is whine as his fingers scissor and stretch you, juices dripping down. His tongue softly rubs circles around your clit like he’s painting you, a masterpiece. And you can’t help but moan out at the new pleasure. His fingers hit that spot that sends an electric jolt to your toes and back, you desperately arch with another whine. Tears prick at the corners of your eyes from the pleasure. It's overwhelming you, he promised to be gentle, and he is. But never once did he tell you how good this will all feel.
“S-Shit Argenti-, I can’t—I’m gonna—” You can’t even finish your sentence, your voice begins to crack, your hips bucking widly as he speeds up. And then you’re coming, babbling nonsense and his name like a prayer as wave after wave of pleasure washes over you. You don’t even comprehend that you squirt all over his hand and mouth, or that he’s rutting his hips against the bed and moaning into your cunt as he tastes you. Not only is it a pleasure to please you, beautiful you. It's a pleasure to be your first. It sends a wave of possessiveness through his body.
Slowly, he withdraws his fingers, his glistening fingers running up to your waist. “Such a dirty little rose,” he murmurs as he leans down, teeth grazing across your neck, hair tickling your skin. “Youre a sight to behold, breathless, dazed...divine.”
Aventurine
“You like that, don’t you?” He asks, grip on your throat. Its not enough to hurt you, but enough for you to know his hand is there. “You like my cock stretchin’ you out, huh?” You're unable answer him, the only thing you manage are whines and moans slipping through his fingers through your throat. He'd be mean to not let you moan out like a bitch in heat after all. Aventurine smirks knowingly, continuing his assault on your insides.
“Can't believe no one ever went inside you, youre far too good. Shit-you love it too, don't you?” You whine out, hiccuping out a moan as his other hand travels down your tummy, the soft touch sending waves to your core. His fingers eventually find your clit, rubbinh the swollen skin over and over again. Your eyes glaze over and roll back, it's too much, too much!
Your vision goes white as your orgasm hits you unexpectedly, stealing the breath from your lungs as your legs shake and back arches. “Mine, ok? Youre mine, my girl. You don't mind do you? Surely you don't...look at you, sweet girl.”
Blade
“feels s’fucking good—“ you mindlessly babbles out. His large palms are stretched out on both sides of you hips, nails digging into your skin. “Such a greedy little pussy,” he groans out with another roll of his hips. “keeps suckin’ me back in…you're a little greedy slut, hm?" he teases.
You can feel his hot breath fanning your ear while his dark hair tickles your neck. The sloppy sounds that fill the room seem to only grow louder with each thrust, as your arousal practically drips down his balls. Headboard constantly hitting the wall. You wouldn't be surprised if something would break this night, and it doesn't need to be the bed.
“if you keep moaning like a bitch in heat, i won't fucking stop,” he hissed out, as he presses down on your stomach which makes you whimper in response. "Naw, look at that," he points at the bulge in your stomach, "that's me all the way inside your greedy cunt."
Boothill
"you still good, darlin?" he asked, amused, his hands moving up to grab one of your tits, giving it a squeeze with his cold hands. He hummed at your subtle nod, his fingers pinching your nipple from below with just the right amount of pressure to bring you to the edge but not send you over. He knows he could do this for hours, his stamina is much longer than yours after all, but he doesn't want to push you just yet.
"shit.." he cursed, though not out of frustration, “your pussy is driving me crazy." he whispered against your folds, the vibrations of his voice sending shivers through your entire body, it almost felt as if you were being electrocuted or something. “its so fucking pretty for no fucking reason...”
Caelus
“shiiit-just like that...” he mumbles out as he lazily guides your movements, helping you bounce yourself up and down on his cock. Hands softly gripping your hips as he guides you. He smirks when he heard your whine as a reaction to his groans, golden halflidded eyes stare up at you. He thinks you’re adorable when you’re like this, so desperate for him yet so adamant on not asking for his help. You had no idea what you were doing, well, neither does he. But you insisted on riding him.
“doing so well,” he says with a slight whine as he thrusts his hips up in time with your movements. It doesn’t take much effort for him to flip you over and have you at his mercy. Your legs are now lifted over his shoulders while his dick is fucking you even deeper, "sorry,-shit-sorry I couldn't-hold myself back much longer-!"
Dan Heng
“just as i expected, it slipped right in...” your arm immediately slung over your face to hide your embarrassment. Something about the way he talks to you has you throbbing.
“fuck, so deep inside you already.” he breathes, as he eases his way into you. He's so painfully splitting you open. You whine and whimper, it feels too good to be true. “that’s it, there’s my girl.” his raspy laugh fills the silence. “youre doing so good for me, just a bit longer, ok?”
He speeds up his thrusts, "eyes on me," he says, "you can do it, eyes on me." And when he hits just the right spot, your eyes roll back and flutter closed.
"Good girl."
Dr. Ratio
“it hurts, doesn't it?” he whispers, no mock, no tease, unusual for him. He knows it hurts, he's just deep enough inside you, balls deep.
“yes, it hurts…” you whine, eyes watering as you adjust. He’s letting you distract yourself a bit, letting you soak up the pain with pleasure. “… so bad.” you keep whining.
"I know, it will get better." he presses his hips flat against you, just to slowly drag his cock out of you again, leaving just his tip inside. “Doing good for a first timer. Don't worry, I'll teach you everything you need to know.”
You nod desperately, biting your lip between your teeth.
“I'll be slow, we got time.” he mumbles, a sick grin painting across his face. He'd be lying if he would say he doesn't enjoy the power play that's going on at the moment. "I'M gonna teach you everything you need to know."
Gallagher
Your mouth falls open when he grinds his hard cock against your ass. Youre breathing hard, chest heaving. But you can't help but lean back against his chest. He slips a hand back into your underwear, rubbing slow circles against your clit. His breath is hot against your ear as he chuckles at your reaction. His middle finger slips between your folds and gathers some of your arousal to use it at your clit again. Once he had your hips jerking and whines leaving your lips, he slips two of his thick fingers inside. He moves slowly, fingers working inside of you like a caress.
“I- ‘m gonna-” you muster, weakly clawing at his arms.
He slips his hand out of your pussy again, letting his tongue run over his fingers, lapping at your juices. He hums, as the taste hits his tounge, “Shit, girl. Got me addicted already.”
Gepard
“That’s it.. Just like that..” He takes hold of the hand, kissing your knuckles, whispering soft praises into your skin to help you work up courage to keep riding him. He knows it's embarrassing for you, he knows you doubt yourself. But he also knows that you can do it.
“Doing so good for me, ok? So good, keep going..”
It takes his everything to hold back his hips and not fuck up into you, it's all too inviting. He holds you, wrapping both arms around your torso and pull you close to his chest. One hand slips down to your hips, guiding you on his cock. "Like that, yeah."
Hot breaths reach your ear as he hums in approvment. "Good...shit--good."
Jing Yuan
“ass up. There you go, atta girl.” and you almost shiver from his touch on you'd hips as he turns you over. Jing Yuan stares at your ass, bringing a rough palm towards your left cheek. “Mm, nice. You're doing good. Don't worry, I'll go easy on you...for now.”
As he speaks, your cheek presses further against the pillow, hiding in embarrassment. Jing Yuan watches as your ass writhes and he hums, springing out his thick cock. “I'm going in, ok? No need to be scared”
“ok...” you breathe, big talk for someone who probably has way to much experience for his own good.
"I'll go easy on you, I promised you that birdie." He whispers in your ear as he leans over, slowly pushing in.
Jiaoqiu
He dives in, his tongue delving deep into your soaked folds. He laps at you hungrily, savoring your taste as he eats you out with wild abandon. His tongue swirls around your clit before sucking it between his lips, flicking the sensitive bud rapidly. “you're so hot...,” he hums against your core, the vibrations sending shockwaves of pleasure through your body. “thank you for the meal...”
Your finger desperately looking for support and found his hair, scratching his scalp with your long nails in the process. You can't help but let one hand wander to one of his ears, tugging on it. Immediately a whine leaves his lips as he laps on you more desperately than before.
He doubles his efforts, lapping at your clit with broad strokes of his tongue before sealing his lips around the sensitive bundle of nerves and suckling greedily.
"Do that again and watch me eat you up."
Luka
Luka leans down to capture your lips in a kiss, swallowing your cries of pleasure as he pounds into you relentlessly. His hands grip your hips hard you feel like you might see some bruises tomorrow as a souvenir.
"Damn, you take my cock better than expected, baby," he rasps against your mouth, his breath coming in ragged gasps. “Way to fucking well, you sure you're a virgin?" he breaks the kiss to gaze down at you. “look at me,” he commands, "that pussy is mine now. Mine."
As you meet his eyes, he reaches between your bodies to rub your clit in time with his thrusts, pushing you closer and closer to the edge.
"Fuck-didnt know you could get any tighter."
Luocha
The next thing you felt was his cock entering you all at once, barely giving you time to get used to his huge size and thickness. Hes not a mean man by any means, but he figured that maybe him going in faster with the ammount of slick you already got, might be less painful. Wronh judgment in a hazy moment. And fuck if he didn't love feeling the way your cunt stretched to accommodate him, how your walls are so tight around his length.
When he did it, it was over for you, and you thanked him with the most beautiful sounds he ever heard. You squeezed him and croed out, making a mess of yourself as you grab onto his shoulders for support. It all was too much for you, too much happening all at once. But you'd be a lair to say you didn't enjoy it.
He would slowly start to run against you, holding your hips in place as he drags his cock in and out of your hole. His slow speed was annoying, painful, but so good.
But the best feeling was yet to come.
“Just you wait once I'm done with you. We'll have plenty of time left to get to know each other much better."
Sampo
Without warning, he pulled out – only halfway – and plunged back inside you with an almighty push. It .ade your eyes roll back into your skull, your mind went blank for a second. His teasing laugh pulling you back into reality, "Oops-went to hard there~" As a apology he went softer on you, slowly dragging his cock in and out of your hole.
“Doing so well for me,” he groaned, as he lightly speed up again, holding your hips in a tight grip.
"Damn-" he groans as you grap onto his shoulders and dig your nails in. "Careful there baby, you don't wanna hurt poor Sampo, hm?" He laughs again as he kisses down your neck and leaves yet another bite behind.
"We could do this more often, I know I wouldn't mind."
Sunday
The all so collected man practically loses it when you wrap your legs around his back. You unknowingly push him against you, silently asking for more. "Needy, needy." he teases as breaths in your ear, giving it a soft kiss afterwards.
“Dont you worry, I'm not done with you yet.”
Although his words came out more scary than they should, his action of hiding into your shoulder makes it all seem more pathetic than dominant. His wings flutter as your parted lips let a whine escape.
He groans, burying his cock deep just as it starts to gush, painting your walls white. Your nails dig hard into his scalp.
“That came...rather unexpected.”
Welt
“it won’t fit!” you sob out loud. No way this all will fit inside you, you never took anything, or anything that size. He's bigger than you, this wont fit without tears. But you're determined today, telling him you wanted to fit everything in you.
He trails his fingers up and down your side before one hand snakes down to thumb at your clit while the other large hand clasps your hip. "i'll make it fit, and I'll be careful." he promises, soft as he pleasures you. You expected nothing less of him, he always treated you with more care than any others. He softly rubs your clit as he enters, a way of distracting you from the pain that you will encounter.
"there you go, told you I'd make it fit."
#honkai star rail smut#honkai star rail x reader#honkai star rail#hsr smut#hsr x reader#hsr#argenti x reader#aventurine x reader#blade x reader#boothill x reader#dan heng x reader#caelus x reader#dr. ratio x reader#ratio x reader#gallagher x reader#gepard x reader#jing yuan x reader#jiaoqiu x reader#luka x reader#luocha x reader#sampo x reader#sunday x reader#welt x reader#welt yang x reader#I'm like so fucking sure i forgot someone or even forgot to write someone#Like damn#My brain ain't braining lol#Had to throw in some Sunday shade idk#I love him tho dw#I just like pathetic men lol
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@blueside-hobi tagged me to post my spotify wrapped, but my youtube recap is more telling, so here it is ♥
so yeah it's official now that i'm obsessed with bad omens i guess
#bmth is missing here tho#like they appear in the top 100#but apparently i listen to them on spotify#.... bad omens was no 1 both on yt and spotify tho#also the mood throughout the year thing WHATTTTT#if spotify wrapped had the mood thing it would be a mess bcs my sister likes to listen to happy songs and i... like emotional songs it seem#also TRENT REZNOR MY DUDE ♥ this song is so so sooooo goodddddddd i couldn't stop listening to it after i discovered it#... ok i wanna do an analysis of my top 5 songs#come undone was my writing song for a while which is why it's no 1 both on yt and spotify#hobi.... hangsang amirite???? and more is one of my favorite songs ever#the worst of me as first actual bad omens song is interesting#bcs i'm obsessed with the death of peace of mind and like a villain#but it makes a lot of sense bcs i actually looked up this video several times bcs i couldn't get it out of my head bcs NOAH U G H#his voice in this version? ABSOLUTE PEAK#also i thought the 67 artists thing was quite funny because i feel like i listen to.... one artist and it's bad omens lol#nah i feel like i listen to 10 artists and that's it#when i did this tag thing where you had to put artists you like in a grit? i was struggling SO MUCH#(and like one month later i discovered bad omens and was like ugh no)
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