#his struggles with TikTok are too funny and too real

[bts-trans]

230915 Weverse Translations

Jungkook's Post ❇️

나도 함 해본다 (편집 빡셌다…) https://weverse.io/bts/artist/4-133151157

I tried it out too (The editing goes hard…)

Trans cr; Aditi @ bts-trans © TAKE OUT WITH FULL CREDITS

Jungkook's Post ❇️

아니 ��톡 게시물 #정국 만 추가했는데 이상하게 됐어 먼데!!!!? 되돌려주시오!!!! https://weverse.io/bts/artist/4-133156664

Wait all I did was add #Jungkook to the TikTok post so why did it become all weird!!!!?Change it back please!!!!

Trans cr; Aditi

[rumisgf]

“GET MY F**** NAME TATTED SO I KNOW IT’S REAL” - DENKI KAMINARI x BLACK!READER

summary: your boyfriend has it all: tattoos, blonde hair, nice sleeper build, can dress, funny— he’s on the way to becoming one of the top 5 heroes for lord’s sake. but, even with all that, he can’t help but feel some type of way when he sees other dudes trying to get as his girl. he doesn’t know what comes over him, and he always starts thinking a little irritational.

includes: college!au eventual smut, tatted!denki, little plot (i sorry), females pronouns used once or twice, jealous!denki, denki calls reader ‘mama’, denki refers to himself as ‘daddy’ once, penetration, dom/sub undertones unprotected sex, recording, squirting, spit!kink, implied relationship, assumed that denki and reader record themselves fucking a lot, possessiveness, breeding kink if you squint, mentions of potential pregnancy, nasty sex

this isn’t fair. he’s finally got a hot, amazing girlfriend and everybody wants her. it makes him sick.

“woah kaminari, that’s you? how’d you bag that?” all his friends always seem to ask this same question in different variations, and their laughs afterwards seem to be filled with malice in his ears. and what’s worse is that you have no idea. you post all these pretty pictures and thirst trappy tiktok’s for random people in your comments to fawn over you. so, denki could not possibly be seething with more anger right now when someone he only sees in the dorm hallways come up to you.

“hey, um, you… seeing anyone? sorry i just saw you in class and couldn’t stop thinking about you, you are gorgeous.”

he watches as you smile, looking over to where he is as he’s supposed to getting his lunch. “o-oh, uh… thank you but i’m taken.” you shyly respond. the dude follows your eyes, and he only smirks. “well, he doesn’t seem like too much competition.”

you roll your eyes at the corny ass guy talking to you, and cross your arms. as you tell the guy he has no chance, you fail to notice denki look down at his own feet as he contemplates causes a scene at this very moment. but clearly, he didn’t care to think logically. you’re his.

suddenly, you feel a set of haste footsteps followed by two hands slowly find your waist. your movements halt as they massage the skin and pull you closer to the figure’s chest. “hey cutie, who’s this?” your boyfriend asks so innocently, making direct eye contact with the guy who’s face is beginning to flush. “mm, some dude who won’t leave me alone..” the guy furrows his eyebrows as he struggles to open his mouth. “woah, it’s like that, bro?”

“don’t know what you’re talking about.” denki says, responding for you. he softly kisses your shoulder, “she’s mine though, so you should go on somewhere.” with that, the guy reluctantly walks off, failing to hide his embarrassment.

you slowly push denki off of you, giving him a quick peck on the lips as a thank you. then, you both head back to your dorm to get away from the crowd of people at your university’s cafeteria— the habitat of horny, and corny men.

denki closes your door and plops onto the edge of your bed, holding his arms out. “c’mere mama.” you find your way on his lap as you face his grumpy face. he looks down at your body as his hands massage the sides of your waist. “so tired of that, i wish everybody would leave you alone…” he pauses, and it’s the same pause before he’s about to say one of the most outlandish things you’ve heard.

“tattoo my name on your neck.”

you smack your lips, lightly pushing his chest as you roll your eyes. “boy, i am not chrisean rock.”

“well how else are dudes gonna know you’re fucking mine?” he slowly dives into your neck, teasing the skin with his mouth as your lips part, threatening to let out a moan. “kami, you know i don’t want anybody else.” you say shyly, beginning to writhe in his lap as he’s know placing full mouth kisses on your neck. “but they don’t know that,” he mutters. he pulls away and immediately grabs you by your neck, bringing your face centimeters away from his. “if you won’t get me tatted, i’ll find another way to make sure they know you’re mine.”

he closes the space by kissing you fiercely, yet slowly. you drag your hips up on his lap, his hand gripping your waist once more as your back arches with the kiss. you wrap one arm around his neck while your other hands finds his chest, feeling his thumping heartbeat. his other hand doesn’t leave your neck as he plunges his tongue into your mouth, deepening the kiss. you moan into his mouth, making him subconsciously buck his hips upwards. with that, you slowly start grinding on his lap and he begins to grind on your clothed crotch himself. you move in rhythm with each other, chasing the burning feeling of lust in your stomachs. then, he shoves his hand under your shirt and you finally gasp into his lips. he fondles with your soft breasts, wishing your bra wasn’t it the way. this makes you grind on him harder, and you’re sure he can feel the throbbing pulse of your now soaking pussy even through his pants. denki goes back to your neck, licking and biting your skin until several hickeys begin to show. he was serious, he was gonna find a way to mark himself on you one way or another. his hands now find your ass, squeezing both cheeks as he moves you faster on his laps and his own soft moans begin to spill out his mouth.

kaminari pulls away, both of you breathing heavy. “i’m about to fuck the shit out of you, you know that right?” he says in a direct tone. looking at him half lidded, you nod. without another word, he lifts you off of him and moves fully onto the bed. you follow him and immediately get pulled under him by his tattooed arms. his lips crash back onto yours, your hands frantically grabbing at his body. he grinds onto you, making sure you feel his hard bulge on your cunt that’s close to soaking through the panties under your jeans. “kami, please…” you whine, not knowing entirely what you’re begging for— you just know you need him in every way possible.

he quickly discards of own your jeans, then his own. immediately, his eyes meet the thong that perfectly displays your arousal dripping out and staining your folds that are halfway shown. he nearly drools, running his finger through your clothed slit. “mm-!” you moan, wincing at the pleasure flowing through you just at how eager you were for him to touch you. wasting no more time, he lifts off the bed and stands at the side next to you, pulling you on the edge of the bed in front of him. he pulls down his boxers and slides off your underwear. you gawk at his long, hard dick right in front of you, and he smirks. then, he reaches over to pick up his jeans, pulling his phone out his pocket.

he unlocks his phones, then points his camera to his dick in front of your sopping cunt. he rubs circles on your clit with his tip, “mmm, so wet baby.” he hums, before slowly sliding himself into your entrance. your walls give him a warm hug as your slick squelches once he enters them.

he wastes no time giving you every inch of him, and you cry out. “oh- shit! babyyy!” the pace is almost too much, him pumping into you like he was mad at you. “uh huh, love this dick don’t you?” he uses his free hand to grips your thigh, pushing it back. instinctively, you hold your legs back for him as close to your head as possible. “good girl, let me see that pretty pussy.”

you’re almost embarrassed, your helpless state on display as he ruins your pussy. your normally sweet boyfriend is deep-stroking the brain cells out of you with a dark, sinister smile on his face. but.. you can’t complain, he’s fucking you too good right now. “ohmygod please… i can’t..” he slaps your thigh, making your body jolt. “yeah you can, c’mon. you got it.” you throw your head back, moaning his name like a prayer. “yeahhh, my good girl.” the praise sends your head spinning as the room grows hotter by the minute. “say you’re mine. *smack* say you who belong to.”

“i’m yours- shitttt- i’m yours! i’m all yours” you say, the command causing a white ring to form around his dick from you creaming. “yeah, you like that shit? love being my good little whore?” he slaps your thigh again, making you whine. he relishes in the state you’re in, completely vulnerable to him. he loves nothing more than showing that he could really dick you down when he gets this frustrated. all the anger he gets from all these guys constantly hitting on you- he takes it out as he examines your soft, sweet body that’s all for him: down from your pussy to your mouth, “open up.” he demands. before you can even fully open it, he spits in your mouth from above you. it takes you by surprise, but he gives you not time to think even if you could…. which, you can’t, from the way he ms fucking you. “swallow that shit.”

you lick the excess spit off your lip and swallow, looking him in the eye when you do so you can see him smile. “such a good girl.. so good f’ me.” denki picks up the pace, the camera shaking with his movements. your voice jumps with every thrust as you moan out for him. his breath huffs with every thrust, sweat beading up on the both of your bodies as you fuck like dogs in heat. your body is littered with hickies and red marks that were intentionally painted on your body by your boyfriend. although they’re not permanent like tattoos, they still holding the same meaning that you belong to him and him only.

he grips your waist as he fucks you into pure bliss. you feel a strong knot threaten to burst in your stomach. “i- fuck! ‘m gonna cum~”

“yeah?” he taunts, immediately rubbing your clit. “you wanna cum already? ‘m fucking you that good?” his ego grows by the second as you become putty in his hands, legs threatening to give out. you let out a drawn out moans as he punctuates his hips, abusing your g-spot over and over. your eyes roll to the back of your head as your toes stiffen in the air, losing control of your body.

“go ahead, nut all over this dick.”

you scream his name as your juices squirt out of you and onto his stomach. he continues fucking you as you making a mess on the floor, the bed on him, and yourself. your body shakes violently as your orgasm takes over you, him pulling out and smacking his dick on your clit as you violently squirt on him. then, he slides back into you, groaning at how soaked you are. “my good little slut… all mine— nobody can fuck you like i do. say you’re my little slut.”

you let out a slurred “i’m your little slut” as you feel another orgasm build up. in a matter of seconds. he pulls your body closer, leaning forward so he can fuck you deeper. in another minute, you’re squirting on him again as he fucks you, moaning so loud your housemates can definitely hear you by now. “fuck baby… so fucking messy.” he moans, now chasing his own high. “fuck- where you want it baby? huh?”

“in me- please!” you beg, looking up at him with doe eyes as he relentlessly bullies your cunt. his eyes spark up, slightly taken aback from your response. “yeah? dick so good you want me to give you a baby?” you nod eagerly, tears threatening to spill down your cheeks from the overstimulation. you both know you’re out your right mind and this is not a logical decision to make on a whim, but you pray that maybe god is on your side just this one time— even though this is such a sinful act. “yes please put a baby in me!”

“daddy’s gonna make you a mama- fuck- gonna fuck my kids into you.” he pants, thrust becoming frantic and rigid. and though he doesn’t wanna admit it, he’d love nothing more than for you to be swollen and soft because of him. the though of you carrying his child with an large stomach that contrasts your smaller figure brings him right to his own orgasm. with a hard, deep thrust, he lets out loud strings of moans matches with the thick ropes of his seed seeping into your cunt. you moan at the warm feeling, eyes threatening to close shut. he pulls out of you, rubbing your clit as cum leaks out of your used hole.

setting his phone down after quickly adding it to his special folder, he grabs a spare towel from his closet to clean the both of you up. then, he lays down next to you after you scoot into your covers, legs still shaking. he looks down at them, letting a chuckle out his mouth.

“damn, i fuck you that good?”

you smack his chest, only causing him to laugh more. “bitch i had you whining to cum in me, hush.”

“oh really? cause if we watch that video back right now you’ll clearly hear you begging for me to-”

another smack lands on his chest, as you hush him frantically. “hey, at least if you have my baby they’ll really know who you belong to.” you sigh, sinking onto his chest. “then, i’ll have as many babies as you need me to.”

@ rumisgf

[fushigurioo]

SAKURA VS TECHNOLOGY

FACETIME EDITION

y/n is missing sakura, so they thought they’d facetime him so they could see him before bed. oh, if only they’d known what a struggle it would be..

wc: 831

You blink down at your phone screen - in utter disbelief in what it’s displaying back to you. Once, twice, three times.

“HELLO?? Why aren’t ya saying anything?” Sakura huffs on the other end. “Why are ya calling me this late anyway it’s midnight, what’s up?”

Another second passes before you sigh and giggle at your boyfriend, who currently has his phone pressed against his ear, despite being on a facetime call.

“What are ya laughing at? HELLO?”

“Haru..babe.. take your phone away from your ear. This is facetime.” You say, trying with all your might to hold back your laughter. As funny as it may be, how clueless he is with technology, you find it simply adorable at how surprised and flustered he gets when he discovers something new on his phone that would be so mundane to most.

“Huh? It’s what time?” He asks, while pulling the device away from his ear and looking down at the screen.

You tilt yours away from your face, snorting and choking on your laughter.

He’s lying on his back, flat on his pillowless futon. His two-toned hair is pushed back and messy. He’s looking downwards at his phone, holding it just slightly below his chest. It’s the most UNFLATTERING angle.

Your restraint cracks and you burst out into a fit of laughter at the combination of the angle, and his confused expression when he realised he can SEE you on his phone.

“Huh.. What the hell is this? How is there a video of ya on my screen? Did you do this?” He’s talking so fast, and has the most precious pink blush spreading across his cheeks.

“No Haru,” you say in between short laughs. “This is facetime. It’s a phone call, but we can see each other at the same time! I thought we could try it out because I couldn’t sleep and I miss you.” You explain, propping your phone up against a makeshift lump on your blanket, giving him a little wave and heart hands.

“It’s- oh..” Sakura mumbles. He smiles softly down at his phone, his heart rate increasing when he registers that he’s looking at you in real time. His blush deepens just ever so slightly into a darker shade of pink. Though, the sweet moment soon ended when his eyes widen and he gasps, sitting up quickly and fixing his messy hair.

“Wait - did ya say we see each other? You can see me too?” There’s a slight tremor in his voice, he’s nervous.

“Mhm” you nodded. “I saw how happy you were to see me.”

His face flushes all over again and he chokes on his breath. “AS IF! I wasn’t happy to see you, I was just surprised that - huh? What’s with ya?” Concern briefly flashes through his face as he clocks your face, which had lost its smile and in turn replaced it with a pout, your lower lip sticking out. Just a slight manipulation tactic you mastered which always catches your boyfriend off guard when he’s yapping random words to make it seem like he isn’t completely head over heels in love with you.

“I’m sorry, I really did think you’d be happy..” You carried on with your pretend sad act, knowing that Sakura would crumble at any second.

And boy, did he crumble.

“HEY! STOP DOING THAT I -“ he lowers his voice and looks down to his left, avoiding eye contact. “I am happy to see ya, okay? I.. I missed you too.”

Your heart swells with undeniable joy and love for your boyfriend, and your happy smile made its way back to your face. Sakura moved his eyes back to his phone screen, and after seeing your change of expression, couldn’t fight the small smile that spread across his face too, nor the sheer adoration in his eyes as you moved on and started telling him about some funny tiktok you had just watched.

From this night onward, you and Sakura would always facetime before you fall asleep, on the nights that you don’t spend together.

Despite facetiming becoming a regular routine for the two of you, Sakura still always puts the phone to his ear when it’s you calling him, but you wouldn’t have it any other way.

BONUS

“Did you guys hear the rain last night guys? Boy, it was really coming down.” Nirei questions his friends, before taking a sip of the coffee he had, courtesy of Kotoha.

“Mhm. Although not for long, heavy rain always relaxes me into a peaceful sleep.” Suo answers.

“Not me. I didn’t realise, I was talking to y/n on face chat. Face talk.. whatever.” Sakura explains nonchalantly, taking a bite out of his egg sandwich.

Kotoha, Suo and Nirei all exchange knowing, amused glances with each other, with Kotoha covering her mouth with her hand to stifle her laughter.

“I think he means facetime.” Suo said, with his signature closed eyed smile and head tilt.

“I SAID WHATEVER.”

NOTE FROM RIO: THIS IS MY FIRST NON SMAU POST 😭😭 I really hope you all enjoy, as always please let me know if there’s anything you’d like to see and i’ll do my best to make it happen❤️

[mxtantrights]

hii! could you please write a jason todd fic based on that like tiktok trend where reader goes "hey guys can you watch my boyfriend real quick" and leaves the room? thank you ! 💗💐

“Can you guys watch my boyfriend?” You ask.

It makes Jason pick up his head from the book he’s reading. He doesn’t get to ask you what you are doing before you’re pressing a kiss to his cheek and leaving the room.

Jason looks towards your phone, which rests on the back of a water bottle. He sees the video going. His eyebrows scrunch in the middle.

“What the hell is that?” he asked.

In the frame, the book Jason is reading is fairly worn out, but the title can still be read. It’s pride and prejudice and zombies.

Jason looks right back down at his book. He scratches the top of his head a bit confused, but then his eyebrows go relaxed and he gets back into reading.

It takes about 10 seconds before Jason makes another move. He looks at the camera again, and then he fishes his own phone out of his own pocket and holds it up to the camera.

“I can do that too,” he whispers.

He sticks his tongue out. You can hear his phone camera going off. It takes about ten pictures before he turns it around and shows his screen to the camera. It’s just pictures of him taking pictures.

Jason puts his phone down and goes back to his book.

“Okay book club emergency meeting. I think they’re trying to change the plot of pride and prejudice. And you know what? I’m not against it. This could be someone’s introduction into literature.”

Jason sits in silence for a moment. Nodding his head to himself. Like someone else is actually speaking to him.

“I mean making the zombies a sort of metaphor for the impending class struggle that is happening is a great take. Also I just find zombies kinda interesting. I fought a zombie once.” He says then he stops and folds the book closed with his finger in the middle.

He leans back in the chair. His head up in thought.

“Or maybe it was an actual zombie and just someone with wounds everywhere. I mean zombies do kind of exist but not in the way we think.” He goes on

He taps his chin with the pointer finger of his free hand.

“I wonder if Batman has fought one before. He has contingencies for everything. He’d probably solve the zombie apocalypse…”

Jason sets his book down and reaches for his phone again. He unlocks it and you can hear him typing away on it. Then you hear the message go through.

It takes about five seconds before he gets a reply.

Jason flies out of his seat with a gasp.

The video ends there.



a/n: this was funny as hell to think of. I mean Jason would have tons of reactions based on what he’s doing in the moment. I imagine that he’d probably spill government secrets if you sat him in front of a live audience lmaoo. Thanks anon for sending this in!! <33333

[skylarsblue]

✦Even. More. Incorrect C.o.D Quotes.✦

Y/N, pinning Soap’s arms with their thighs in sparring: Haha! Eat shit, Scotsman! Soap, struggling: FUCKIN’ ‘ELL, The hell is in your thighs?! Y/N: Pure spite and protein, bitch! --

Someone: Hey Johnny. Y/N: Oh, no, only Ghost can- Soap: Oi! Only Y/N & Ghost can pull that off, it’s Soap to you. Y/N: Yeah he- wait me too? *gaaassp* Ohhh is this what favoritism feels like?! Soap: Pfft, maybe! Y/N: I enjoy it a lot! <3

-- American!Y/N: Fuckin’ git, he’s off his rocker, that one. The entire team: … American!Y/N: *dramatically smacks their hand over their mouth* Gaz: *laughing* Was that genuine?! Y/N: AH, I’ve been conditioned! I’ve been colonized! Soap: COLONI-*WHEEZE*

-- Fem Fatal!Y/N: What th- what is this, a spy movie? You want me to infiltrate by being some eye candy?! Laswell: It’s the best option we have. Ghost: I disagree with this. Soap: Me too! This feels real nasty, I think. Fem Fatal!Y/N: *sigh* Fine, I’ll do it. God gave me these tits for a reason, might as well use’em for somethin’. Gaz: PFF-no no, don’t be funny, this is a bad situation.

-- Graves: No! You can’t, cause if you take it- …you’ll be hurting my feelings :((( Ghost: You know, I was thinking about that. And, the thing is…I really don’t care.

-- (In a ride back to base; just makin’ conversation)

Gaz: Do you find boys attractive? Or girls. That’s one what to check, if you’re not sure. Y/N: *chuckles* You think I’m not sure? Y/N: Everyone’s attractive to be honest, even if it’s just something small. Like, some people have really gorgeous hands. Y/N: I don’t know…I’m a little bit in love with everyone I meet. But I think that’s normal. Gaz: …hm, suppose that’s a fair answer…

-- Soap, laughing: You watch it or might just start fallin’ for ya, L.T! Ghost: …would you like to? Soap: Eh-…huh? Simon: Would you like to? Fall in love with me, I mean… Soap: ….well I-…well, yeah. I wouldn’t mind…if you’d let me. Simon: …I’d let you. Soap: Well then, guess that’s it then. Woo me, Si. Simon: I’ll do my best.

-- Someone: I don't need advice from a team of virgin losers. Y/N: VIRGIN LOSERS?! *grabs Price’s shoulder and motions to him aggressively* You gonna tell me you think this man doesn’t fuck for a living?! HAVE YOU SEEN HIM?! Gaz & Soap: *for the millionth time trying not to laugh* Price: *he’s not encouraging it but he does look kinda smug*

-- Gaz, on TikTok: Everyone’s always like “Kyle how’d you bag a baddie, how’d you bag that baddie bruh-“ I didn’t bag shit. Y/N picked me up from my neck, threw me over their shoulder and I’ve been on it ever since. (Zooms out to show that he is in fact, on their shoulder) Gaz: And I ain’t got no plans on getting off anytime soon-

(This also works with Soap & Ghost)

-- Y/N: Why’s it always you got mommy issues or you got daddy issues? Me personally? Both my parents got me messed up, the side I pick? Is mine. I ain’t Hannah Montana- Y/N: 🎶but I got the best of both worlds!~🎵 Ghost: *he’s laughing on the inside, I swear*

-- Ghost, on the verge of dissociating: Why be sad…when you can just be ✨g o n e✨ Soap: Si, no-

-- Graves: Punch me. In the face. Didn’t you hear me? Y/N: I always hear “punch me in the face” when you speak, but it’s usually subtext. Graves: *huff* Well I- *gets punched so hard he falls over* Y/N: ….that felt good. Ghost: I’m so proud- Price: Stop encouraging them.

-- Soap, bursting into the briefing room: Y/N got into a fight! (Insert running scene) Price: Soldier, what hap- Ghost, sliding up in front of them: Did you win? Y/N: Of course I won. Ghost: Nice. Price: STOP ENCOURAGING VIOLENCE-

-- Y/N, in a vent above a room: Soap, it’s me, the devil! Soap: *wheeze* Gaz: *trying so hard not to laugh* Y/N: I’m here to convince you to do SIN. Come with me. Steal candy from babies and from small businesses! Soap: *WHEEZE*

-- Y/N, passing by: *does that super flirty “up & down” look* Hey König…~ König: Hallo, guten morgen. Y/N: *smiles and keeps going* König, as soon as they’re gone: *deep breath* Ohmeingottohmeingott *tiny scream*

-- Ghost after being asked about his feelings on Soap: *heavy breathing* ……..nextquestion-

-- Gaz, a menace on TikTok: Batches be on the lookout for Captain Save-A-Hoe, cause he savin’ hoes. Price, minding his business: ? Y/N, dramatically “swooning” in the background: I WANNA BE SAAAAAVED *falls* Price, unaware he’s having a thirst trap made for him: ?????

-- (I think bullying Graves is funny)

Graves: Let me tell you how this is gonna work- Y/N: You ain’t gonna tell me shit. Graves: Listen!- Y/N: Suck my dick. Graves: Listen to me!- Y/N: Suck my dick. Graves: Shut up, listen to me! Y/N: Suck my dick, you fuck man. Graves: Listen!! Y/N: Suck my dick. Graves: You will be here and listen to my ord- Y/N: You’ll be here sucking my dick. Graves: Listen to me, now! Y/N: Go fuck yourself.

-- Y/N: I would rather lead my team into a pit of fire, than have them wield guns for your ignorant usurper cunt of a general. Price: *mans is so proud it’s showing in his chops*

-- Simon: Your eyes are like sapphires…jeez…ahem, that’s pretty corny though, huh? Soap, swooning: No, not at all. Anyone would like it…aha… Simon: …uh…is this- Soap: Working? Oh yeah, thoroughly wooed, sir. Simon: Good, good.

-- Price: Please tell me you didn’t drag the boys into this. Y/N: I didn’t drag Soap & Gaz into this! *insert banging on door* Price: Who is that? Y/N: I think you know.

-- Soap: I wouldn’t wish that ‘pon my worst enemy. Unless, of course, we’re talkin’ ‘bout my enemy Philip Graves. Soap: Fuck you, Phillip(/neg), you know what you did.

-- Gaz: So you have feelings for this person. Just rip the bandaid off. Y/N, with daddy issues: It’s Price. Gaz: *inhales through his teeth* Put the bandaid back on.

-- Y/N: …Ghost? You’re into Ghost? Soap: Mhm…thoughts? Y/N: And prayers, Johnny. And prayers.

-- Gaz: Are you straight? Y/N: *chokes on drink* Don’t ever fucking insult me like that ever again.

-- (Some type of escort mission or somethin’)

Price: This woman wouldn’t know how to fix a broken fingernail. Fem!Y/N: Honestly, you lot have to be the most boorish, crude, pig-headed men I’ve ever met. Price: Hey, I’ve seen the high-bred boys you’ve hung out with, princess. I’m the only man you’ve ever met.

(Insert overly intense sexual tension here)

-- König: How does that even make any- *knife sound* König: *looks down at the knife in his thigh* Did you just- *takes knife out* Did you just stab me? What is your problem?!

-- (I’m only using Alejandro cause the dude in the audio had a slight Spanish accent, mans is definitely a feminist)

Alejandro: It’s not natural for girls to fight. Fem!Y/N: Now it’s not natural for a man to be as stupid as he is tall, but mm. Here you stand! Alejandro, in love: …

[base0h]

NOT SAYING I LOVE YOU BACK TO HAIKYUU CHARACTERS

a/n - I feel like someone requested this with Osamu, nishinoya, ushijima, and tendou a while ago and it got deleted??? Sorry anon 😭🙏 bro writing this made me feel lonely. 💀

Warnings ⚠️ - g/n reader, s/o reader

- bold of you to assume bro would let you do this

- well for this let’s just say he did

- you saw this TikTok about this prank where one person didn’t say I love you back to their partners, and you thought it’d be funny to try it on Osamu

- Osamu was getting ready to head to a late practice, getting his bag and shoes to leave your room

- you were doing some homework, so he gave you a hug from behind and pecked your cheek

- “Love ya, goin to practice now.” -Osamu

- “Ok be safe, bye Samu.” -you

- you said that with a smile, going back to your homework, acting as if nothing was wrong

- Osamu nodded, closing the door behind him, his footsteps receding, but then suddenly they stopped

- you had to struggle not to snicker at the sudden stop of his footsteps

- then you heard him coming back and you swore you almost let out a laugh, swallowing it quickly as he opened the door again

- “Y/n. I love you—“

- “Huh? Yeah I know Samu, be safe and good luck at practice.”

- he looked at you like you were Atsumu, squinting as he put a hand on his hip, shifting his weight to one foot like he was posing to be in a magazine when in reality he was just confused and a bit irritated

- “…What did I do??”

- “You didn’t do anything what do you mean??”

- “Yer makin’ me look desperate here— I love you—“

- “…Yeah i know???”

- “Y/N.”

- “Osamu???”

- “Wh— don’t use my full name! What the hell did I do???”

- you couldn’t take it anymore, you laughed, covering your face as you struggled to catch your breath

- meanwhile osamu’s looking at you in the doorway with his hand still on his hip like a pissed off Karen that wants to speak to the manager (if he had a weapon it’d be a frying pan)

literally Osamu ^^

- oh my god his face was priceless, you wished you’d taken a real photo rather than a mental screenshot so you could show Suna

- “I’m sorry samu it was a prank. I love you too.”

- “…..I ain’t making ya dinner.”

- “NO PLEASE I’M SORRY—“

- yeah bros done with you

- he was all worried for nothing 😭

- he thought he did something wrong but no you just wanted to bullshit him

- he still made you dinner btw

- he like gave you a plate without saying anything and eating in the other room but he still gave it to you (he’s petty)

- basically an Asian parent 💀

- nishinoya probably says ‘I love you’ about 100000000000000+ times and counting, per day

- and he lives for hearing you say it back to him

- he still gets giddy when he hears you say it

- “Y/n I love you!!” -Nishinoya

- “Love you too noya :)” -you

- “…..RYUUUUUUUU Y/N SAID THEY LOVED ME!!”

- “THEY SAY THAT EVERY DAY NISHINOYA SHUT UP STOP MAKING ME FEEL MORE SINGLE—“ -Tanaka shouted whilst sobbing in the corner (dw Tanaka you end up marrying the love of your life)

- you saw this prank on TikTok and obviously you wanted to try it on your eccentric boyfriend

- but you did feel SLIGHTLY bad about what his reaction might be since you were well aware that he loved hearing you say it back

- but you’re mean so 🤷 (Jkjk you’re awesome just pretend you’re mean for this pls🙏💀)

- Nishinoya was about to go to class, giving you one last bear hug before he went as usual

- “Are you sure we gotta go to class? I like you better than math :(“

- “Yes noya— you have to graduate high school remember?”

- “Ok fineee— I’ll see you after class then??”

- “Mhm.”

- “Ok love you y/n!!”

- “Ok— don’t fall asleep in class ok? See ya later.”

- the fact that the silence was so loud that even kiyoko who was walking by was like: 🫢

- Tanaka’s jaw was on the FLOOR

- Daichi probably verbally said “ohhhhh snap 😬” with that exact face

- Nishinoya was frozen, and all of the sudden he just flopped off of you, still holding his hug position, and just like died on the floor in a dead bug looking position

- you legit could not tell if he was breathing or not 😭

- you killed him

- good job y/n, you killed the guardian deity of karasuno

- Nishinoya literally passed out cold from pure despair because he didn’t hear you say it back, and therefore in his mind that equaled you didn’t love him and were breaking up with him and the world was ending and aliens were gonna invade earth (bro what? 💀)

- he woke up with his head in your lap, resting on your thighs— and he woke up with like zero memory and woke up as high as a kite too

- he was giggling like an idiot, spouting random nonsense and corny shit, going from flirty and sobbing his eyes out back and forth 😭

- “Am I in heaven? Cuz you look like an angel, angel 😏”

- “Thank you goddd— for blessing me with this gorgeous gift— 😭😭😭😭”

- he forgot about the prank btw

- hit his head way too hard on his way down and woke up on his favorite pillow so yep everything turned out semi ok 👍

- hey may or may not have permanent brain damage! 😄

- daichi aged 10 years after this incident by the way

- I feel like tendou says I love you all the time, but whenever you say it back he’s always a bit surprised

- he’s heard you say it a bunch of times by now but he’s still just a tad shocked everytime

- like he’s genuinely surprised you actually love him back 😭

- the first time you said it back bro cried 🥲

- he would NOT stop talking to ushijima about it, he kept gushing about how perfect you were and how he doesn’t deserve you and meanwhile ushijima is sitting there like: 🧍‍♂️

- funny part is that ushijima’s genuinely trying to listen to his friend but bro just doesn’t get it 💀

- you saw this prank on TikTok that seemed funny, you two always kinda went back and forth playing little jokes on each other

- last time he got you by putting a huge ass fake spider on the ceiling of your room so when you walked in he pulled a string and it jumped out and hit your face

- you did not talk to bro for days

- I wouldn’t either man 😭

- so now it was time to get him back

- he was getting ready to leave for a late practice, and he bounded over to you from behind your work chair as you were reading the shonen jump he had lent you

- “Ok I’m goin to practice I’ll see ya later y/n—“ -tendou

- “Ok bye tendou, have a good practice. Don’t piss off Semi too much—“ -you

- “Oh come on I don’t piss him off! Semi is my bestie he can confirm!”

- “I honestly don’t think you could pay semi an amount that would make him call you his ‘bestie’”

- “I can work miracles! Ok— bye y/n I love youuuuu—“

- “Bye tendou, good luck with working that miracle.“

- He paused, his lanky arms dropping down to his sides as he thought for a second

- did you not say it back or was he just going deaf?

- he did that thing yk where you like tilt your head to the side in confusion— and his hair like drooped down a bit 😭

- “…I love you—“

- “I know tendou, have a good practice!”

- he’s scared, genuinely terrified

- he’s running through his mind trying to think of why you didn’t say it back— did you think he was annoying?? Was he being too loud? Did you actually just not say it because you didn’t love him anymore?

- he wanted to ask what was wrong but he thought maybe he was being annoying so he just left to give you space 😭

- you felt awful

- he looked so confused and hurt before he left

- tendou went to ushijima for advice and to just talk about it— he’s probably the worst person to talk to about this stuff bc bro literally thinks the earth is flat but whatever

- “…..That’s rough buddy.” -ushijima whilst awkwardly patting tendou’s shoulder

- “…Was that an avatar reference?” -tendou

- “Hm? What is an ‘avatar’?”

- “Nevermind. Thanks for trying.”

- you felt so bad— so when he was just in his room doing homework, you came in and immediately gave him a hug, apologizing and saying I love you to him over and over

- he was confused but happy to hear you say it back— he was SWEATIN bro 😭

- “I thought I was being annoying—“

- “Oh no tendou it was just a prank—“

- “….Wait was this payback for the spider?”

- “…..Yeah.”

- “…Ok I kinda deserved that then.”

- “Love you tendou, I promise you’re not annoying.”

- “Love you too y/n :)”

……

- “….Don’t you dare even think about pranking me with a spider again.”

- “I won’t make any promises that I can’t keep 😄”

- if there’s one thing he always remembers to do it’s to say ‘I love you’ before he leaves or before you go to sleep

- he doesn’t talk much but he never fails to say it to you

- even if he pretty much doesn’t talk the whole day, his few words will be those practiced words that have now been engrained into his mind

- you saw a prank video on instagram and thought it would be interesting to try it on ushijima, you honestly weren’t sure how he’d react

- he was getting ready to leave for practice, coming up from behind you as you worked on some assignments, giving you a quick one armed hug since his other arm was full carrying his stuff

- “I’ll be back tonight, goodbye y/n, I love you.” -ushijima

- “Ok, have a good practice.” -you

- he waited a minute, since usually he heard you say it back— but no you went right back to doing your work

- he assumed that maybe you were very absorbed and busy with your assignments and studies, which he understood and wanted to respect your work time

- so he left without another word, not wanting to disturb you

- but he’d be lying if he said he didn’t care about the fact that you didn’t say it back to him

- he was so accustomed to you saying those three words back to him or to him directly, maybe he’d taken it for granted? Because now without hearing them, he felt— wrong

- he wasn’t greatly disturbed, but he wasn’t normal either

- he thought about it a couple times during breaks in practice, wondering if he did something to make you distant or frustrated with him

- after practice was over, he came back, seeing you still doing your work like when he left, and he tried to be as quiet as possible to not bother you in case that was the reason behind why you didn’t say it back

- dude he was trying so hard to figure out what to do 😭

- he called tendou because he thought either tendou was the expert on these things or semi, and semi did NOT pick up 💀 (idk why but I feel like semi never answers his phone, not even on purpose, but like his ringer doesn’t work or some shit and he’s sitting there wondering why no one texts him or calls him)

- “Uhhhh…. Good luck Wakatoshi-kun!” -tendou

- “Is the situation that bleak?? I require your best wishes..? Tendou is this serious?” (Poor guy is sweating now 💀)

- “Well it’s either ‘damn well— good luck’ or it’s a prank! I’ve seen people do a prank on their partners where they don’t say ‘I love you’ back.” (tendou’s chronically online there isn’t a meme or prank trend bro hasn’t seen)

- “…..I see. How do I know which one it is?”

- “…..Good luck with that!”

- some help you are tendou 💀

- ushijima is not good at being subtle, so he just blatantly asked you— after you were going to take a break from your work

- “Y/n, did I do something to make you distant? Or was this a prank? Tendou told me about a certain trending prank partners do to their significant others, and—“ (he was talking the most you’ve ever heard him speak because bro was nervous actually despite looking normal)

- “I’m sorry Ushijima it was a prank yeah— I love you too ok?”

- he felt his shoulders relax when he finally heard you say it with that familiar smile that melted his heart

- ever since that prank you did— he’s said it more often

- he has a routine now, instead of just when he leaves or when he goes to sleep, he texts you in the morning, or says it to you if you’re there with him

- he says it whenever you say you text him or say over the phone you have to go do something

- he says it when you get back or when he gets back

- he says it a lot let’s just put it that way :)

- also semi was so betrayed that ushijima asked tendou for advice and not him later on 🥲

- “You asked TENDOU first?! Of all people?! You would’ve had better luck with goshiki!” -semi

- “Huh what?! I heard my name! Did someone call me?!” -goshiki appearing out of nowhere anytime someone says anything starting with “go”

- “BRO HOW DID YOU MATERIALIZE?!”

- “BAHAHAHAHAHAHDHDHEUHDUD—“ -tendou having an asthma attack from laughing

- “Apologies Semi, you did not pick up your phone. And from what I recall, you’ve never been in a relationship before, correct?” -ushijima

- bye bye semi’s self esteem 💀 tendou was about to cry and turn blue from laughing so hard, slapping his knee, cackling, shaking semi by his shoulders and giggling like a little shit

- ushijima is BRUTAL bro 🥲

a/n - semi got violated, a moment of silence for him 😔🙏

[insomniac4000]

I have an idea for a fic about will! So u get invited onto the fellas or saving graces podcast and since their in the same building where will films his videos you could like bump into him and just something along those lines aha

Fellas to lovers

1517 words

Y/N felt the nerves build up with each step she took walking down the East London Street, eventually she made it and looked up at the light brick building with big windows; The Fellas Studio’s where inside were some of her favourite Youtubers and content creators. For months and years y/n had watched these people form the comfort of her own home but now, she was considered their contemporary but she had a huge case of imposter syndrome.

“Hi, I’m Y/N I’m here for The Fella’s podcast?” She said to the receptionist politely. The receptionist gave her a pass and sent her up on her way. Cal and Chip were waiting, just talking casually on the chairs when they heard footsteps on the stars and a very nervous y/n entered the room. The boys were lovely, they spent a few minutes trying to ease nerves and ran over some questions before the recording was about to start. Y/N clutched the microphone, steadying the slight shake of the hand just as Calum announced recording.

"Welcome back to The Fellas Podcast, the place where we get the most interesting people on the internet to sit down and chat. Today, we're excited to have someone who’s not just interesting but downright viral. She’s been breaking the internet with her hilarious skits, relatable content, and just that magnetic personality. Please welcome TikTok sensation, Y/N!" Freezy did the intro and y/n smiled through the nerves as much as she could.

"Thank you so much for having me, guys! I’m a huge fan of the podcast, so this is a bit surreal for me."

 "We’re excited to have you here too! First off, how does it feel to be the queen of TikTok right now? I mean, your rise has been insane—millions of followers in such a short time." Cal started off with an easy question to try and ease y/n in as much as he could.

"Honestly, it still doesn’t feel real. Sometimes I wake up and have to remind myself that this is actually happening. It all happened so quickly, you know? I started posting just for fun, and suddenly it’s like—boom—everyone’s watching."

"Let’s talk about that ‘boom’ moment. Was there a specific video or a moment where you thought, ‘Okay, this is really taking off’?" Chip asked

"Yeah, there was one video that really kicked things off. It was a skit about dealing with overprotective parents, and I guess it just resonated with a lot of people. The comments were flooded with ‘This is literally me!’ and people tagging their friends. The video hit a million views in like 24 hours, and from there, things just snowballed."

"I remember that video! It was everywhere on my feed for days. What do you think it is about your content that connects with so many people?" Freezy added in, by this point y/n’s nerves had subsided massively, her body language relaxed more, she stopped playing with her long brown hair as much and she allowed to self to sink back on the sofa a little bit more.

"I think a lot of it is just about being relatable. I try to tap into those everyday moments that everyone experiences but maybe doesn’t talk about openly. Whether it’s dealing with awkward social situations, struggling with mental health, or just the weird quirks we all have—if I find it funny or interesting, chances are someone else will too."

"And you’re not afraid to get personal, either. You’ve shared a lot about your own life and struggles. Was that a conscious decision from the start?" Chip was now coming in with a more personal question, it was one of the ones they had shown y/n at the start so it didn’t come as a shock and she was ready to answer it.

"At first, not really. I was just making content that felt natural to me. But as I started getting more followers, I realized that people appreciated that openness. I think it helps people feel less alone when they see someone else going through the same things they are. It’s therapeutic in a way, for both me and my audience."

"Has that openness ever backfired? We all know the internet can be a brutal place sometimes." Cal already knew the answer to this question, it was something all content creators needed to know how to toe the line.

"Oh, for sure. I’ve had my share of trolls and negative comments. There were times when it really got to me. But over time, I’ve developed a thicker skin. You have to, in this line of work. At the end of the day, I try to focus on the positive feedback and the amazing community that’s been built around my content."

“And you definitely have at least one massive fan in this office, apart from us a certain Mr Lenney always comes in and shows us your videos,” Chip added and as him and Cal had a little laugh about it.

“No way really?” Y/n tried to laugh along and tried to seem like she was calm and just going with the flow but on the inside her heart was beating faster, Will? That beautiful blue eyed boy who’s content she had been watching for years? He liked her stuff?

“He’s also single now so feel free to drop downstairs to his office once you’ve finished here, I bet he’ll go wild! Anyway enough about the lanky Geordie idiot what does the future hold for Y/N? Are you sticking with TikTok, or do you have other plans in the works?" Chip asked, y/n was grateful that the conversation had changed now, although she was now thinking some thoughts about that Geordie male that she could never talk about in public.

"I’ll always have a love for TikTok, but I definitely want to branch out. I’m working on a YouTube channel right now, and I’ve been talking to some brands about collaborations. Maybe even a podcast—who knows? The possibilities are endless, and I’m excited to see where this journey takes me."

"That’s awesome! We’re sure whatever you do next is going to be huge. Before we wrap up, any advice for aspiring creators out there?" Cal asked as the podcast was about to wrap up.

"My biggest advice is just to be yourself. Don’t try to imitate what’s already out there. People are drawn to authenticity, so find what makes you unique and run with it. And most importantly, have fun with it, if you’re not enjoying what you’re doing, it’s not worth it."

"Wise words! Thanks so much for joining us today, Y/N. It’s been a blast having you on." Chip smiled

"Thanks for having me, guys! This was a lot of fun."

"And to all our listeners, make sure you’re following Y/N on TikTok if you aren’t already and keep an eye out for her next big move. Until next time, take care!" Cal signed off the Podcast and once the recording has stopped y/n exhaled a deep breath.

“You did really well, you should be proud of yourself,” Cal smiled giving y/n a small hug.

“Thank you so much, I’ve never done a Podcast before and I was really nervous but you two made me feel really welcome so thank you,” y/n told both of the boys sincerely. There was a little small talk but then Chip and Freezy needed to leave as they had a meeting. Y/N thanked them again and made her way downstairs, she momentarily paused remembering what The Fella’s had to say about a certain someone. She continued down the stairs, pulling out her phone ready film a TikTok when she felt her body collide with something.

“Oh my God I’m sorry,” y/n cried as she looked up and saw a male, dressed in all black, a mullet on top of his head, smile on his face and an iced coffee in his hand, it was him.

“No harm done. I didn’t expect to see you here,” his northern accent thick, as if often got when he was excited.

“Oh I’ve just filmed a Podcast for the fellas. I’m Y/N,”

“Oh I know who you are,” Will’s smile got even bigger, y/n tried to push back a blush.

“I just didn’t want you to think there’s a weird fan running around all of your offices,” y/n joked. Will sipped his coffee slightly smiling.

“No, I know who you are. Hopefully the guys were nice to you?”

“Oh they were, they erm…” y/n hesitated for a moment to think about if you wanted to say the next bit but there was a spark in her which told her to go for it. “They said you might be a bit of a fan?” y/n asked cheekily, biting her bottom lip slightly with a smile. Will sighed.

“Those fuckin’ morons. I do enjoy your TikTok’ yes.”

“It’s okay, I’ve been known to binge your videos too. And not for James,” y/n added. Will’s eyes sparkled.

“Well that’s new. Say, what are you doing now?” Will asked, his smiled dropped a little bit and he started to play around with the straw in his drink, y/n shook her head.

“Nothing really.”

“Fancy joining me for a coffee?” Will asked, trying to steady his voice, he was doing a good job of it, he looked very calm and cool. Y/N smiled, her heart beating out of her chest.

“I’d love to.”

[stinkfacestories]

The day you found out you had won Jason Kelces Beard Challenge was the best day of your life. The challenge was simple: put together a snap or tiktok video of how to get a beard as good as Jason and the top winner would win a day with Jason. Your video was a long shot: you made a tiktok showing how if you mixed essence of dwarf, with a bit of neanderthal, and just a splash of viking inside Abraham Lincoln's hat and applied it to your face, you'd look as good as Jason. It did t get very many views but Jason loved it. The next thing you knew you were in Philadelphia meeting the man himself at the airport.

The tour of Philadelphia through Jason Kelces eyes was a lot of stops at places he loved to eat. Steak sandwich, sausage, pizza, ice cream. The man just loved to eat. As the day dragged on just as Afternoon turned to evening he took you to Lincoln Field, his home turf. There was no game and the place was locked down, but that was nothing a few signed balls couldn't handle.

He took you to the locker room, the place where he told you he feels most free to be himself. You both sat down on the bench in front of his locker. He took out a case of bud light and cracked one open. The man drank so much bud lite you swore he was sponsored by them.

He told you to be quiet. To just listen to the sound of the room. To drink it in and become one with the soul of real American football.

The only thing you heard was the bench breaking as Kelce leaned forward and let out a fart with a satisfied grunt.

"Oh, sorry," he said, not sounding very sorry.

"Really? " you said. You looked at him, almost appalled that he would do that with you right next to him.

Jason turned and gave you a wink. "Dont tell me you don't find farts funny. Your a guy. All guys love farts." 

You rolled your eyes. "Not really."

"What about this one," he said and let loose a loud bassy fart.

"God stop it, it's so gross," you said as you slid away, but suddenly found yourself pressed against the wall of the locker room. "Seriously dude. What the fuck?"

"C'mon," Jason said as he moved over towards you. “I warned you. Remember when I ate that large sausage with pickled garlic ave said ‘were in trouble later’? What do you think I meant.” and placed a hand on your chest, giving you a bit of a push. "Don't be a prude."

You were caught between a wall, and a wall of beef holding you in place. "Seriously, stop it".

"Can't stop. Won't stop," he said still pressing you in the wall. His eyes were the kind of dull that only cheap low quality beer can make the."You know I bet you never had an older brother. Between me, my dad and Travis we learned to appreciate farts. My dad told me that the best cure is exposure. So to get you up to speed I think I need to gas you more"

He  pressed into you and lifted up his keg and let loose with a fart so powerful it echied through the empty locker room.. You struggled to get away from the horrible stench, but couldn't escape.

"No, don't do this," you said as it overwhelmed you.

He turned around and pressed his huge soft center lineman ass in your face, the soft fabric of his shorts spreading across your face like warm dough. It was too much, and you were powerless to stop it. His asshole flexed and relaxed as it sent out a long drawn out series of wet sounding farts. You gagged as the air around you filled with the horrid odor.

"Fuck that was a good one," he said, not budging an inch. “Three point stance just rips these farts out of me.”

"I think I'm going to puke," you said, trying not to vomit.

"If your gonna puke, aim that way, I like these shorts." he said pointing. "Do you think it's funny yet?"

"No!" You coughed.

"Alright you asked for it" he presses his ass harder, wedging your nose on his cheeks. He let loose with a rapid fire volley of farts that left you breathless and coughing. He backed away, chuckling at you.

"God, fuck, that's rank!" You coughed. You tried to breathe fresh air but the locker room had been total polluted by Kelces ass.

"Come on. You don't have to love them, but you gotta at least admit they are funny and manly now. How can you like football and not think farts are funny." he let you stew and come up with an answer.

"Fuck...no," you say.

He shrugged. "Ok. Your loss," he said and pressed his ass in your face again.

"No! Please. God. No. Fuck!"

"What's it going to take? Do I need to pull my shorts down and give you a bare ass stinkface?" He said, pressing even harder.

"No! No more. Fine. They're fucking funny," you cried.

"What?" He said. "I couldn't hear you"

"They're funny!"

"Now are you just saying that to make me stop?"

"No, I mean it. They are funny and they are manly."

"Well, if it's funny you won't have a problem asking me to do it a few more times so you can properly laugh. Right?"

"Uh...fine. Sure. Just, please, no more, I can't take it."

He turned and farted once. "Laugh. Laugh hard and long and deep." He was getting frustrated that you weren't laughing. "Seriously come on guy. This is just as bad for me as it is for you. It's hard to hold this position and if I keep farting I'm going to have to take a dump soon"

"Oh god no!"

"Laugh dammit!" He yelled.

"No, no, I can't."

"Fine then," he said. He pulled you down and set you face up on the bench. He loomed over you. "Ok big fucking guns time" he pulled down his shorts and hovered his raw hairy bear ass over your face.

"Oh shit, dude please don't!" His as was a beast. This close you could make out the rough skin. His ass had taken a pounding over the years and looked like a hefty bag overfilled with cottage cheese. The hair on his crack was dense and black. 

"Do you think this is funny?"

"Yes, yes, fuck, yes!" You were sobbing, your body convulsing.

“Good. Then you'll find this hilarious.” he sat down. He sat down hard. He rocked back and forth, the wiry hair of his ass crack scouring your face. He dug deep like he has an itch he was trying to scratch.

"Laugh. C'mon. Laugh, laugh like a big boy." He said, simultaneously belching and farting.

"Ahahaha!" You started crying and laughing.

"Oh fuck. What a fucking cry baby. Laughing at farts is supposed to be funny. Not sad."

"I'm sorry," you sobbed.

"Just...fucking stop," he said, standing and pulling up his shorts as he got off you. "Baby can't handle a grown man's ass. Jesus fuck"

He sat down next to you. You were still shaking a little, tears coming from your eyes. "I'm sorry," you said.

"It's fine, it's not the first time I've gassed someone like that," he said. "your not the only one who cried either "

You sniffed, still wiping tears away. "It was just so...overwhelming. The smell, and the sound, and the pressure..."

"It was a lot. It was," he said.

He drained his bud light and crushed the can. "Ok second chance to get it right." He leaves forward and farted, then looked to you to see your reaction.

You laughed. A genuine laugh. "Fuck, dude."

He smiled and farted again. You kept laughing. "It's funny, isn't it?"

"Yeah. It is," you said, laughing some more.

"Now you" he said 

You panicked. You didn't have to fart. You were to nervous.

"What the hell. Do it"

"I don't know if I can," you said.

"Come on. Do it. Do it" he chanted.

"I can't."

"You trying to make me mad? You're a guy. You should always be ready to let rip"

"But I'm not drunk like you are. And I'm not a fucking monster with an ass like yours."

"Fine, then, let's fix that." He reached down and ripped a huge one. He reached for his phone and placed a call "Trav. Yeah we got an emergency. Yeah get that chili defrosted and get some real cheap beer. Ooooh and some gas station food. Yeah he's a wimp. Didn't laugh. No he did. Fuck no she can't come to.  Alright. Love you. No homo" he hung up the phone.

"Your brother's coming over?"

"Yup. And he's gonna be pissed if you don't laugh when he cuts one. He loves farts. And he's got an ass that could kill a guy."

"Wait..."

"We're going to our man cave. It's a cabin in the woods. Just guys. Strict no pants policy. You better hope Trav remembered his boxers. You are gonna learn to love being a man like us and become the third Kelce brother, or you ain't leaving that shack."

"What's it going to be like," you said, afraid, but also excited.

"Oh, you're gonna hate every minute, and you're gonna love every minute."

"Fuck. I'm going to get wrecked, aren't I?"

"Oh definitely. We will probably fuck up your head so much. You're going to end up with a fetish for this."

You laughed.

All you could do was laugh.

[2knightt]

cherry defender bc i’m sooooo fucking SICK OF ALL YOU TIKTOK BITCHES WHO ARE MADLY IN LOVR WITH THE CAST SAYING YOU HATE HER!!! rant era!

“she-she witerally lead ponyboy on🔥” WHEN? did she fucking say ‘lol you’re sooo funny…make call me sometime.’ NO? they were both fully aware she had a boyfriend who she loves dearly.

“she-she said she’d fall in love with dallas winston tho!” because cherry and all the other soc’s yearn for the things they know they can’t get or can’t have. bob wanted someone to say no to him—but nobodu ever fucjing did!! CHERRY WANTS SOMEONE SHE KNOWS SHE’LL NEVER HAVE AND SHE NEVER FUCKING WILL!!

“cherry undermined the struggles greasers go through.” HOW THE FUCK WOULD SHE EVER KNOW WHAT THEY WENT THROUGH?? she was trying to be supportive and let ponyboy know he wasn’t alone and that everyone goes through tough shit. SHE LITERALLY HAS AN EXPENSIVE CAR, A HOT BOYFRIEND, AND IS POPULAR. HOW YHE FUCK COULD SHE EVER KNOW THE STRUGGLES OF BEING A GREASER ENOUGH TO THE POINT WHERE SHE COULD PAUSE AND GO…”oh wait! that’s a little rude…teehee!”

abd before you go “but i’d never do that!” BECAUSE YOU READ THE BOOK FROM A GREASERS PERSPECTIVE!!! YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT IT’S LIKE TO BE A REAL SOC JUST LIKE HOW CHERRY DOESN’T KNOW WHAT IT’S LIKE TO BE A REAL GREASER

“cherry ignored ponyboy ://“ SHE FUCKING WARNED HIM BEFOREHAND? HE KNEW WHAT WAS GONNA HAPPEN??? and i’m not blaming ponyboy for being upset abt it but you can’t get pissed off at her when she was like “yeah so don’t get too mad if i don’t say hi to you at school.”

“she didn’t go see johnny :(“ I WOULDN’T EITHER. he KILLED her boyfriend…who she made it very known, she loved very much. god for bid a woman fucking exists.

idgaf if u try and argue argue with the fucking wall🆗

[avpdpossum]

this tiktok is so funny to me as someone whose primary mental health struggles are avpd and dissociation.

“mental illness is what happens when you’re the person who breaks the generational avoidance of pain and emotions” bestie my mental illnesses are must avoid everything disorder and nothing feels real disorder. if this was supposed to make me better at confronting and dealing with pain, it failed miserably.

like yeah, true, mental illness is often a result of generations of pain being passed down, but it’s less in a “we are the spiritual leaders chosen to break this generational curse” way and more in a “my parents treated me like shit because it was all they knew and it fundamentally changed the way my brains works” way (sometimes with a side of “my family’s brains all work differently in a way that i inherited because there’s some genetic component to it”).

dealing with generational pain and breaking my family’s cycle of avoidance isn’t something that i was ~born to do~; my mental illnesses don’t make me somehow uniquely suited to that task. it’s actually something that’s infinitely harder for me to do because of the ways my mind has been affected by those things, but which i have to do anyway because i’m too aware of it now to just let it continue unchallenged.

but sure, his version works too…as long as you pretend that mood and anxiety disorders are the only mental illnesses.

[gojosbabygurl]

Playing Stardew Valley with Gojo

[May contain slight Stardew Valley spoilers if you call them that if you haven’t played or watched people play the game fr]

Playing Stardew Valley with Gojo starts because he saw a tiktok of the junimo apples with butt cheeks mod and said you had to play the game because it was funny.

Playing Stardew Valley with Gojo consists of you guys mining together and him yelling “BABE HELP” each time a monster tries to kill him even though you’re literally right next to him

Playing Stardew Valley with Gojo is literally you decorating the farm and he’s like “OOOOHHH THIS LOOKS CUTE BABE!” after he comes back from either mining at the skull cavern or finding those goddamn golden walnuts in ginger island. Speaking of the golden walnuts, he gets really mad when he’s struggling to find some of them that he recruits you to help him- This can apply the other way around too

Playing Stardew Valley with Gojo starts with him trying to Woo you as if you were an NPC. He finds objects that you like in real life in the game and gifts it to you from time to time.

“Babe I found this amythest just for you”

“I got you this pizza”

“i found you a mushroom”

“BABE HERE” *he gifted you a seashell*

“I bought you a bouquet!” (In stardew this is a sign of romantic interest)

He gets angry at you when you talk to the single NPC’s because he knows you’re able to get with them.

And even though he has his own cabin and bed he will always go to sleep in the bed with you and will get mad if you try to leave.

Playing Stardew Valley with Gojo always lasts for a good few hours with you two talking about literally anything. Sometimes there are moments of silence but it’s not awkward it’s comfortable silence.

He makes you go to every Stardew event there is even if you’re already late game and knows what happens, he wants to just have fun with you.

He always wants to dance with you at the flower dance, and when it’s the Dance of the Moonlight Jellies he pretends as if he’s holding your hand, he’s corny

and when it’s The Feast of the Winter star he will get you a gift and asks you if it’s a much better gift than the one you received from an NPC.

Late game when it seems like there’s not much to do he’s grinding in the Saloon to complete the Junimo Cart mini game while you’re trying to make the farm look cute.

Playing Stardew Valley with Gojo is him becoming emotional(not actually) when you get married and have kids in the game because he’s so excited to do it in real life as well.

You name your Stardew children with name ideas you have for your real children.

For the farm animals he always names them after someone he knows. He named one of the chickens Nanami so he could tell him about it the next day and get him angry.

He loves playing Stardew Valley with you.

I love playing Stardew Valley with Gojo

[purplephantomwolf]

Love in Motion

Chapter Three

Synopsis: Lydia gets a wrong number text from Lando Norris.

Note: This is not an accurate portrayal of how the real people in this act. I do not know them personally, so I will not be portraying them accurately.

Warnings for this chapter: None

Previous Chapters: Chapter One, Chapter Two

Next Chapter: Chapter Four

Masterlist

April 5, 2022

6:30 pm

     My phone vibrates, pulling my attention away from the lab report I’m currently working on. I smile as Luke’s name flashes up on the screen. 

Luke: Good morning, Lydia

Me: Good morning, Luke

Luke: Did you sleep well and have a good day? 

Me: I did! Did you sleep well and have a good day as well? What did you do during the day?

Luke: I did too! I spent the day putting some finishing touches on an event for this weekend. Did you watch any more F1 during class today?

Me: No, I was a good student today. But I’ve got a Monza quali on as I work on my lab report. 

Luke: Ahh, that was an exciting weekend for McLaren. 

Me: Shhhh! Don’t say anything! I don’t know the results!

Luke: Sorry! My lips are sealed. 

Me: I know that Max obviously wins the championship, but that’s literally all I know about the season. I’ve managed to not see any of the results. 

Luke: How have you managed that? 

Me: I know literally no one who watches F1, so no one to spoil it for me. 

Luke: Well, now you have a friend to talk to about it. 

Me: I do! You’re going to get a bunch of texts on Saturdays and Sundays about it. 

Luke: That sounds good to me. I won’t be able to respond to them because those are my busy days. 

Me: Sounds good. I’ll try to not overwhelm you with texts then. 

Luke: Alright. Do you want to continue our game of 20 questions? 

Me: Sure, it was your turn to ask a question!

Luke: Okay, going to go deep here. What’s your biggest fear?

Me: Damn, that is deep. But I think it’s not being able to find someone. I fear that I’m going to end up alone, with no friends, no significant other. My turn to go deep. What do you do to cope when things get hard? 

Luke: I go to my family and friends. I talk to them about what’s going on and what I’m struggling with. What’s your favourite thing about yourself, physically and not physically?

Me: Physically, my eyes. Not physically, probably my ability to get along with everyone. What’s your biggest pet peeve about social media?

Luke: The hate that everyone dishes out because they’re behind a screen. It’s awful to see the things people comment on posts of the drivers and their friends, just because they’re behind a screen. 

Me: I’m sure. I personally dislike social media, so I’m not really on it. I’m only on TikTok and Discord. 

Luke: No Instagram? No Twitter? 

Me: Not even Facebook. 

Luke: Damn, I wish I could do that. I have to do it for my job. 

Me: Yeah, it’s nice not having to worry about putting up a facade for my fellow college students to hate on. 

Luke: Yeah, that’s nice. So, photography. Your photos are excellent. How did you get so good?

Me: Well, my grandpa was a photographer for a while. I used to spend a lot of time in his studio, so I kind of picked things up from him. Then I took some classes in high school. I’ve luckily managed to find time each week to take photos in college, so I haven’t lost my skills. 

Luke: That’s awesome. You mentioned that your parents won’t let you do photography. Why don’t you find a job in it and then move out? 

Me: I’ve thought about it. But there’s no jobs that I’ve seen that I would be interested in. 

Luke: That sucks, I’m sorry. 

Me: It’s okay! I’ve been keeping an eye out though. 

Luke: Okay, so what got you interested in Formula 1? 

Me: I saw a TikTok of one of the drivers one time and was like “He’s kinda cute and funny, wonder what he does.” Which led me down a rabbit hole that ended in an obsession with learning everything I can about the sport.

Luke: Interesting. Which driver was it?

Me: It was Charles, but then I was watching some old McLaren content of Carlos and Lando the same day, and Lando became my favorite. 

Luke: So Lando has always been your favourite?

Me: I’d say that yeah. What got you into the F1 world?

Luke: I had a friend that was in karting when I was a kid. He got me interested in the industry, and I thought it would be fun to plan the events for the drivers and fans. 

Me: That’s fun! As much as I’d love to continue this conversation, I should go be a good student and work on my homework. 

Luke: Oh! Sorry for distracting you!

Me: It’s okay! I’ll talk to you once I’m done with my assignment?

Luke: Yeah! Sounds good to me!

Me: Perfect! Talk to you later!

Luke: Bye Lydia!

     I put my phone down and focus back on my assignment. I groan seeing that I still have five questions left. I hunker down and start making my way through the questions. 

************************************************************************

9 pm

Me: I am back. I have completed the god awful homework. 

Luke: That’s a win. So, tell me a little about yourself. 

Me: Well, what do you want to know?

Luke: Anything you want to tell me. 

Me: Well, I’m a 20 year old chemistry college student. My birthday is May 17. My favorite color is purple. I love watching YouTube, specifically Smii7y. I absolutely love music, I’m always listening to it. I like art and creative activities. Tell me a little about yourself now. 

Luke: Well, I’m a 21 year old event manager for McLaren F1 racing team. My birthday is November 13. I love traveling the world and taking photos, too. I love hanging out with my friends and family.

    I yawn as I read Luke’s message. I rub my eyes, trying to stay awake to continue the conversation. 

Me: I am currently fighting sleep so hard. 

Luke: Go to sleep, Lydia. We can talk tomorrow. 

Me: Okay, sounds good. Good night, Luke. Talk to you tomorrow. 

Luke: Good night, Lydia. Talk to you tomorrow.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Taglist: @dilemmaontwolegs @copper-boom @ironmaiden1313 @ophcelia

[heartsoji]

UM HI IM NOT RLLY SURE IF U TAKE REQUESRS SO IF U DONT U CAN IGNORE THIS.,,

hear me out, KENMA and RINTARO nd NISHINOYA x reader that turns any comment they make dirty 😭 (and a lot of deez nuts jokes bc idc that ppl don’t say them anymore they’re funny 😞)

HQ BOYS W/ AN S/O WHO MAKES A LOT OF DIRTY JOKES

genre: fluff but just a lil suggestive

a/n: STOP BCS THIS IS LITERALLY ME WHEN I HAVE ENERGY

warnings: mentions of nudity, dirty jokes but its pretty mild, two swears, idk wtf i was doing on suna's and noya's lol (ok for noya ive never written for him before but wtf happened with suna)

K. KENMA

"chicken fries, ken. chicken fries." you pestered.

"ok, ok. and can i add one order of chicken fries, please?"

"of course!" said the cashier cheerily through the drive-thru mic. "so just to confirm, a bourbon bacon cheeseburger triple, cheese fries, chicken fries, a large sprite, a medium coke, a vanilla frosty, and a chocolate frosty?"

"yep." kenma confirmed.

"ok, please drive up to the window."

once you two got your food, kenma parked in the parking lot and took a spoonful of his chocolate frosty and smiled contentedly. you laughed in response, to which he pouted/glared to and turned away from you.

"i like wendy's." kenma scowled.

"me too. i love it in my mouth, but also.."you paused. "when deez NUTS are in yours!"

you earned a slap to the head.

"OWW KENMAAA YOU VIOLENT PUDDING-HEAD MF"

he simply smiled and went back to eating.

"..hey, pudding-head."

"what?"

"DONT EAT WENDYS!! HOW ABOUT PUDDING DEEZ NUTS IN YOUR MOUTH INSTEAD"

(pause)

"OWWW"

S. RINTARO

"our class got a new student today." suna mentioned casually as he scrolled through tiktok.

"yeah, i heard about that! he's from america, right? what's his name?" you asked.

"uhh.. sato. sato phillip." suna answered, struggling to pronounce the first name. "his dad's japanese and his mom's greek."

"phillip, huh?" you wondered aloud. "hey rin, you wanna skip making dinner tonight?"

"huh?" suna asked, confused. "where'd that come from?"

"YOU COULD PHILLIP ON DEEZ NUTS INSTEAD"

"well, that's kinky. i suppose i wouldnt mind giving it a try." suna replied, deadpan. "have you already ordered the attachable rubber balls?"

this guy thinks hes so cool for that.

"fuck you, rin."

"please do."

this brat.

N. YUU

"noya, what should i be for halloween this year?" you asked your boyfriend.

"hmm.." he thought about it long and hard. "a maid!" that earned him a slap to the 2-inch hair.

he laughed. "well, i suppose a fairy could be cute too."

"a fairy? then, you should be the goblin!" you beamed.

"HEY!" nova cried, offended. "why am i the goblin?"

"GOBLIN BOFA DEEZ NUTS"

noya paused for a second before bursting out cackling.

"THAT MADE THE FACT THAT I GOT A D ON MY TEST TODAY SO MUCH BETTER"

you gasped. "but we studied together! he gave you a d?!"

"yeah. i'm giving you a d too."

"boy what?"

"GIVING YOU DEEZ NUTS"

it was your turn to burst out cackling childishly.

"ok but for real, noya. lets be serious. deez nuts jokes kinda suck." you said, getting dead serious.

"HUH?! YOU SUCK!"

"SUCK ON DEEZ NUTS"

noya then POUNCED on you and laughed into your neck, sending ticklish sensations down your spine.

"I FUCKING LOVE YOU"

"I LOVE YOU TOO"

you both doubled down laughing, and you didn't even know what you were laughing at at this point.

[thedevilsoftruth]

Haven't posted in a while, but something that was really bugging me a lot was some shit I noticed when rewatching the Moon Knight series that I think a lot of comic book fans could relate to. I know, Mr " um actually " comic book guy is talking right now but imma need you all to bare with me here for a second. and before any of you start typing, please remember everything said here is MY opinion. All I ask is that you're respectful. I'm going to start of with how I don't understand the hype around this motherfucker.

Literally the most whiniest mf in the ENTIRETY of the MCU. The only people who can like or tolerate this bitch are mfs who have 9 hours of daily screen time on TikTok, listen to hyperpop music and think that he's a soft uwu meow meow baby girl hurt emo princess boy.

Moon Knight is literally one of the most metal superheros out there and the directors saw that and said, " now imagine that but we make his woman so much better than him and water him down and completely change his back story and then wipe our asses with it, spit on it and then pretend we were trying to show representation. " Like what the fuck are you fucking doing?

My first problem is that I felt like this show focused too much on Layla and her relationship to Marc... Nvm, Sorry I lied. Not Marc, fucking STEVEN. This show isn't about " Layla ", its about MARC and Steven and JAKE. (I'll talk about Jake later) Like can we just... " Are you an Egyptian superhero? " " I am. 🥺" GIRL BYE 💀💀 this part of this show was so bad it made eternals look good. This was cringe on the level of seeing your mother do a dab. All that episode 6 was about was Layla kicking ass and that's it. I don't understand why Kevin Feige has the urge to make everything about badass women. Like theres ABSOLUTELY nothing wrong with that, I love badass women and we need more women superheros, but I'm just saying, I came here to watch MOON KNIGHT not Layla El-faouly.

So funny how they make a show about Marc Spector and he only gets like 20 minutes out of the 6 hours of the entirety of the show. I think the most time he got on screen was like episode five and maybe two but that's about it. It felt like he was only there to make things depressing and to make Steven Grant have better character development because he himself is just so fucking boring and not funny. Marc Spector is so much more than " I got hit as a kid and my alter ego is fucking my ex wife. " He's a Jewish antihero struggling with a personality disorder that's eating his life away and a toxic relationship with a man who's been basically lying, emotionally abusing, and manipulating him since his CHILDHOOD. What I love most about Marc Spector is that he's not like all other these mighty superheros, he's just some dude. He just some dude with real human struggles like you and me, trying to figure himself out and navigate through his disorder. Marc should have had a bigger role in this show but I guess Steven Grant and Layla were more interesting than him. Steven is the main course, Layla is the desert and Marc is the salad off to the side that's barley been eaten.

Steven Grant is not a shy British man with great manners who works in a gift shop and is giving in his moms flat, he's a savvy millionaire ( who's from Chicago, Illinois, so as Marc and Jake ) who works in the film industry and lives in a mansion. Those are two completely different characters. Everyone that I've seen who's criticized Steven in the slightest has said that he was bland, boring, and the producers were trying too hard to make him funny. You can't try to have something that's just straight up sad happening with a character and then pretend that it's funny and try to make it into comedy. That's just not how it works and it's not realistic. That's why movies like The Crow are good and movies like Renfield are bad. The Crow takes itself seriously and is genuinely sad but lightly sprinkled with comedy, Renfield wanted to be a bit sad, but ruined itself by trying to hard to make every scene funny.

The only good scene in this entire show is the scene where Marc says, " you are you the only real superpower I ever had " or whatever the fuck. I didn't pay attention because all I could think about was the scene from frozen where Anna fucking froze and Elsa cried about it and then unfroze her with her tears or something. I guess her tears must have been really hot.

What I'll give Muhammad Diab credit for is casting. Having Layla be Egyptian is good, and having Oscar Isaac casted as Marc is also really good. Everyone In the comics is white for a character normally centered around Egyptian bullshit. They also got Khonshus personality right and that's about it.

I hate how the producers said that this show was all about " representation" and then didn't add Frenchie, who is a gay french guy in it or Bushman who is a black mercenary because he was " too much like Killmonger " ( which doesn't make any fucking sense because they are drastically different on so many levels but okay. ) they also said that this show is they're most brutal and violent show yet, but they were " violent " ( and bloody-ish ) the first three episodes and then just kinda gave up towards the end.

For the last thing, I'm gonna talk about Jake finally. Just pretend that I'm sighing right now. Like a really audible, dramatic sigh.

I get they wanted for us to differentiate the differences between each personality with accents but Jake doesn't need to speak Spanish. He doesn't speak Spanish in the comics and having him do it is completely unnecessary. I get it's Hollywood and Hollywood needs to make everything sexy and attractive, but Jake Lockley is the least sexiest alter of Marc Spector. He doesn't wear a suit with black leather gloves or drive a limousine, he's a fucking taxi cab driver with a really weird mustache who wears a turtle neck. When I think sexy, I don't think taxi driver. And it ruins the point of Jake Lockley as well because Marc uses Jake to see what's going on on the streets in New York. New York is really busy and crowded, so people are more prone to using a taxi, not a limousine unless you're bougie and rich.

Anyways that was my rant. Good night.

[avenirdelight]

Silly Little Things

Jordan Henderson

Jordan hears her cry out and gets alarmed. But she’s actually crying over something silly.

Jordan was getting ready for bed. He’d just done washing his face and was dabbing his face with a small towel. He was about to open the drawer—the next step was to put on some toner and moisturiser—but suddenly he got real alarmed, because he heard a loud cry from the bedroom. A wail, and it sounded serious.

Jordan didn’t waste any second to drop whatever he was doing and walked out the bathroom. He searched for her figure on the bed with worried eyes. She was still in the same state as she was when he’d left her earlier. She was lying on the bed, wrapped in a warm blanket, with a phone in her hands.

“Babe, what’s wrong?” Jordan asked worriedly as he walked closer to the bed.

“This kitten…” She sobbed, dropping her phone to her chest. Jordan could finally look at her face and her eyes were full of tears. “This kitten is so tiny and fragile, Jordan, and he’s struggling to climb up the stairs.” She sobbed again.

“What kitten?” He was confused, but a second later he realised that she’d just been watching something on her phone. He let out a relieved sigh, dropping his tensed shoulders. “Oh, God– Are you kidding me? Your cry sounded scary, I thought you were hurt or something.”

“Well, I am hurt. My whole body hurts, I told you.”

“Has your period started?”

“No, but I’m already getting cramps. And you know it always feels like I’ve been hit by a truck when it’s about to start.”

Jordan had walked around the bed and reached her side. “Yeah. And getting emotional over a cat video?”

“But he’s so cute, I swear!” She pouted and lifted her phone up again, quickly playing the video and showing the screen to Jordan. “Look, babe! He’s trying so hard to climb up! Look at those little paws and that little tail…”

He spent a few seconds watching the video. A little orange kitten was struggling to climb up a few stairs, just like she’d explained.

“Isn’t he adorable?? He’s so cute!”

“Yeah, yeah. He’s learning. Good for him,” he commented.

“Can I adopt a kitten tomorrow?” She asked him, looking up at him with hopeful eyes glistening with tears.

He chuckled and shook his head. “You know you can’t.” As someone who was not really fond of cats, he couldn’t let that happen in his house. 

“Right. I’m going to send this video to you.”

Jordan sighed. “Stop sending me cat videos. They’re not gonna make me like cats. Okay– You know what sounds like a better idea?” He said as he bent down and propped his body with a hand, as the other pulled her blanket so it covered her even better. “For you to stop watching TikTok and go to sleep.”

She pouted and huffed angrily. Jordan chuckled again and leaned down to put a kiss on her forehead. “Seriously, though, go to sleep. You’re getting way too emotional because it’s late.”

“Well, hurry up then, I need a cuddle so I can sleep.”

“Okay,” he smiled, ruffling her hair before he walked back to the bathroom. But just before he passed the door, he looked back at her, who was now grinning, probably at another video that she found.

Jordan shook his head, feeling a bit funny as he realised that even after so many years they’d been together, he still found her so adorable. And he always got reminded of how much he loved her, even for the silly little things.

—

i was sick and in my period and i cried over this cat video and this is the result. i hope you like it! have a nice day<3

if you want to be on my tag list, please fill in this form.

[jordan henderson tag list: @smileytaa @delicateearthquakellama @lfcthelovesofmylife @muglermami @mehrmonga @landosmilkjug @blueanfield]

My Masterlist🤍

[tic-loud-tic-proud]

Hi! I heard something in class today that sounded absolutely wild, and it wasn't said by an individual that I have any trust in regards to mental health etc (they literally said that adhd is contagious which uh. not getting into that krkskdje), but I thought I'd ask around in case there's any truth to it since I don't know nearly enough abt tourettes to say for certain its untrue. Basically, they said that their psychology student friend did a research paper and found that seeing tik toks of people with tourettes can make kids (I believe the psychology student's study group was 7 yos or something around there) get tourettes too. Now, I believe that tics can be "contagious" (like stims) aka u have tourettes and can then get a new tic from another person w tourettes, but nothing in their claim said that these kids previously had tourettes, just that they got it from tiktok. Do u know anything abt this? Is it completely ridiculous or have you ever heard anything abt this happening? No problem if you don't know or arent sure, its a pretty out-there idea (from my perspective), and I hope it isn't a horribly annoying q. Have a nice day!

I've answered this question multiple times but Tumblr search sucks and I can't find any of the posts. So even though I hate talking about this topic I'll do it again.

(My answer is really long. Some text is bolded, not for emphasis but to make long paragraphs easier to read.)

The whole "TikTok tics" thing has completely torn the TS community apart with infighting (you can read more of my opinions on that here). My own neurologist is one of the leading doctors studying the phenomena, and trying to convince people to stop calling them "TikTok tics" and use the term Functional Tic-like Behaviors (FTLBs) instead.

I want to start by saying anyone who has sudden-onset tics, or tic-like behaviors, needs to see a doctor as soon as possible. There are many cases where sudden-onset tics are a result of untreated brain injury, heavy metal poisoning, and severe nutritional deficiencies. Tourette Syndrome is far from being the only disorder that causes tics.

Most of my followers know that I dislike TikTok. At the same time, whether a person with TS wants to post videos about their life on the platform, is none of my business. I am very grateful to people that are spreading accurate information and awareness about TS to people that otherwise wouldn't care. I do believe that despite many creators' best efforts, negative stereotypes are starting to arise again- some that I've never even heard of. The "all Tourettics say swear words" stereotype is as prevalent as ever, but so is the "if a Tourettic says swear words they're faking" stereotype. I've even heard "real people with TS can't hold eggs or read books out loud or cook" stereotypes which are completely new to me. TS is never one size fits all. It's different for everybody.

What I do dislike about TS related videos on TikTok is that many of them go back to seeing us as entertainment. I have always struggled with being seen as a spectacle, I have very strong trust issues because of this. I know even some of my dearest friends think my tics are entertaining, which, I don't want to blame them for that, some of my tics can be funny, but TS itself isn't. People with TS are not clowns, we are not performers, we are not here to entertain anybody.

I don't think that TikTok causes Tourette Syndrome, because TS is never contagious, it's a defect in the brain that we are born with. I believe that this issue is very complicated and influenced by a number of factors. Nearly all of the people who are developing FTLBs are young women or transgender individuals who already face misogyny and transphobia, which both often incorporate the belief that young women/transgender individuals will constantly lie in order to gain attention. In addition to that almost all of them already suffer from severe mental health issues- depression, social anxiety, eating disorders, and body dysmorphia mostly. Because of quarantine and the pandemic, more and more people went online more often.

Humans are social animals. We all feel a need to be in groups. I believe a major part of this issue is that young people especially are figuring themselves out and need to feel a sense of belonging. If a person's "For you" is nothing but videos of people within a certain group (not even just medical communities, but goths, emos, metalheads, and other fashion- or music-based subcultures are experiencing this), you will feel left out. I'm absolutely not saying that this is the fault of the people watching or creating these videos, I'm blaming it on the exploitative algorithms that TikTok and other social media websites use to funnel users into generally obscure niches. Many industries thrive on the consumers' feeling of being left out so this method works very well and makes money for the platform.

I would highly suggest reading this article that goes more in-depth to the causes of "TikTok tics". Social media is far from being the primary cause. This isn't the first time we've had a "Tourette's outbreak" either, and it probably won't be the last.

To answer your question of "have you ever heard of this happening", yes, unfortunately I have first hand experience. My ex-girlfriend claimed she suddenly caught Tourette's from me and now has a TikTok account where she spreads misinformation "awareness" about Tourette Syndrome. She would write down my vocal tics in a notebook whenever we were around, claiming she just thought "they're so funny I want to remember them", and then would go home and film TikToks pretending to have the same tics she'd written down beforehand. She's a terrible person for many reasons and I could probably spend some time talking more about her but I know nobody is interested in that.

What's most important is that anybody with tics, anybody with TS, anybody with FTLBs, still deserve support and proper medical care. At the end of the day this is far from being an individual issue. It's shown some major flaws in the (American) healthcare system, that doctors are so quick to dismiss and ignore the real suffering of young women and transgender individuals. Every single person with tics is impacted by this issue (directly or not). Accusations of faking are at an all-time high, and it's getting harder and harder for me and many other Tourettics to trust people (again, see this post). I have friends and people close to me, diagnosed with TS, who are being accused of faking by their own doctors, and are having their diagnoses under review. In 2021 (which I consider the height of this frenzy) I went to the #1 TS specialist in my country after being on the waitlist for 3+ years, and even she questioned my diagnosis and told me that I would be cured if I deleted my (non-existent) TikTok account.

Just a week ago a young man with TS who was very popular on TikTok died as a result of a tic. For years he had struggled with TS and for years people had accused him of faking. TS is serious. It's not a trend.

Every single person deserves compassion. Every person deserves a chance to be believed, to be listened to (even my ex). Nobody deserves to have their legitimate concerns shunned and ignored, especially by medical professionals. Whether someone has FTLBs, Tourette's, PANS/PANDAS, FND, or any tic-causing disorder, we deserve help. We deserve our experience to be heard. We deserve to be believed.