#his sister and i literally discussed it when i went to meet him in person bc she saw how fucking miserable i was

[cosmicangsts]

a 3 year toxic & abusive friendship just ended y'all! he literally got mad at me for spending MY money i set aside ages ago for something i wanted ( acheron ) & today msged me an ultimatum about our friendship while putting me down, expecting me to piss shit & cry & i DIDN'T & instead stood my ground & called him out on being a controller who doesn't see me as a person with a savior complex so he DIPPED! ♡ ( not without the classic ' i'm sorry u feel that way ' & ' caring for my friend is NOT a savior complex ' & making it all about himself u best believe it was OUTSTANDING but i literally don't care i've cried so much over u )

if the new trend is a breakup at the start of every year & it means decluttering my life of incessant negativity, then honestly i am HERE FOR IT

[werewolfbneimitzvah]

vent post. There are two stories i was told in my teenage years that even before i had a real concept of trans issues made me uninterested in discussing the supposed sacredness and safety of separated sex-based spaces.

First, when i was like 13 or 14 my PE teacher told us about a time she went to a women's public restroom, some guy was hanging out outside the bathrooms, she didn't think anything of it, went to the bathroom, and he walked in after her and like, creeped on her over the top of the stall. She was ok, she wasn't telling us this to scare us, just telling us what to do in situations like that (and iirc she was telling the whole co-ed class this, not just girls, bc it's useful for everyone), but this taught me immediately and forever that there's nothing actually keeping these spaces separate really, that anyone can be a creep in any space, and that establishing a space like that as for women only isn't actually particularly useful for safety.

Second, when i was 16 i was at an anime convention, a friendly acquaintance of mine and i ended up in conversation outside, and he showed me his bare wrist and told me he'd been kicked out. A female friend of his had stepped in dog poop outside, and between that and the stress of the convention she'd had a bit of an emotional breakdown, so being her friend, he started comforting her and ushered her into the women's restroom so they could wash the poop off her shoe together. And because he was a man who went into the women's bathroom, he got kicked out, no matter that he was doing something that was actually beneficial to a woman. Punishing a woman's friend for supporting her was supposed to... protect her somehow? This made it clear to me that a no-exceptions rule separating the sexes like that wasn't actually inherently good for everyone.

And this isn't even getting into me as a child needing to accompany my younger sister to the restroom when we were out with just my dad because she had certain support needs past the age he felt comfortable bringing her into the men's room with him. And what if I'd been born a boy, or she'd been the first born? Who's helping her then?

And of course even putting all this aside, we should always prioritize compassion and support anyway. But i never even needed to meet a trans person to know that "keeping men out of women's bathrooms" is silly nonsense. But trans people also need to pee anyway and as humans they have that right, so leave them the fuck alone. your precious women's restroom is just a fucking room with a door, holy shit give it a fucking rest, if someone is attacking you in the bathroom that's bad and if someone is in there to pee that's good and it doesn't fucking matter what their junk is or was when they were born.

a woman could have done the exact same thing to my PE teacher and it would have also been bad no matter how "supposed" to be in the restroom she was, and no one should ever be punished for helping a crying friend wash their shoe.

Anyway i know I'm speaking to like-minded folks here, i just think about those two stories literally every time bathroom gender shit comes up and it pisses me off.

[spookykoolkat]

I absolutely adore your writing!

I wanted to request a Eddie Munson and plus size!Henderson!reader smut!

After dropping Dustin off after Hellfire one night Eddie finally meets Dustin’s sister who is essentially the female version of Eddie. He is smitten with her but doesn’t show it in fear it will mess up him and Dustin’s relationship. He makes excuses to come over to the house more often (which the reader notices). She teases him on purpose, short skirts, low cut shirts, little touches when they pass each other. She’s driving him crazy. One night Dustin invites him over for a movie night and to discuss the new campaign, when Eddie and the reader are the only ones left awake will the tension be to much? Will he finally crack?

eddie m. - your brother's rocker best friend

main masterlist

an: hiii!!! thank u sm for the request AND all the love i've gotten on my work 🖤🖤 i hope this does your request justice omg!! 😭 because i sure as hell really liked writing it idkidkidk eddie in this one is just so 😵‍💫😵‍💫 anyways pls feel free to send more requests, i appreciate all the love omg like i didnt know so many ppl would like my writing especially being new to writing on tumblr 🥹TYSM OMG PLS I HOPE EVERYONE ENJOYS THIS i love the feedback! also this is hardly proof read so. yeah :p

warnings: 18+ only, minors dni! minors are NOT welcomed. eddie x plus size!reader, eddie x henderson!reader. this is pure filth, pure smut, literally porn with a plot. p in v (unprotected) *this is fiction pls protect urself*, slight exhibitionism (if u squint), oral sex (f receiving), mirror sex kind of, pet names, dirty talk, spanking/slapping, eddie being eddie

wc: 8.5k

summary: you're dustin's older sister, and notice his best friend taking a particular liking to you.

when eddie first realized who dustin’s older sister was, he was mind fucked. when dustin told eddie about you, dustin made it a note to emphasize the fact that he and you were the same age, and had eddie been, as dustin put it, ‘normal student,’ he would’ve graduated the same year as his sister. but, eddie remembered who you were. very vividly, and when he met you again formally at dustin’s house about a year ago—let’s just say eddie was obsessed with everything that had to do with you. he listened to the music you blasted from your room once he got into his van, he remembered the movies you watched so he could watch them and know why you liked them so much, and he remembered the books you carried and the ones you would read in your living room on his way to dustin’s basement. he wanted to consume you in every way.

"i can't really stay long dustin, Wayne's been getting on my ass," eddie said as dustin dragged him to his front door.

"yeah yeah, whatever, come on i just got this new comic, you have to see it," he said eagerly and eddie just sighed, waiting for dustin's knocking to be heard. and it was.

"dustin i swear if you don't have your key i'm going to literally rip-" you yelled through the front door as you swung it open, not to see only dustin but the guy you went to school with who you knew as the local weed supplier.

"what are you doing with my brother?" you spit, ignoring the fact that eddie looked a little starstruck. he didn't even hear you because of how loud your outfit was, the way your body was tight against your little dress you had in, how your tits looked pressed together, the way your hand rested on your hip as you looked at him irritatedly.

"don't start," dustin said and pushed passed you, telling eddie to come on.

"uh, i'm eddie," he introduced and you smiled through your small laugh, opening the door.

"yeah, i know who you are," you said and he almost thought he felt a shiver down his spine. you knew him, you knew who he was. and now that he saw you in person, he realized he overestimated his will power to be a gentleman and not get hard just at the sight of you.

"go ahead, but you're not staying long. ten minutes." you said strictly and he nodded frantically, stepping inside and following dustin straight to the basement, his eyes looking back for yours as you shut the door and turned, giving him a smile.

he was fucked. that was the start of a year long obsession he tried so desperately to hide. and failed.

you noticed eddie and you had the same interests, you heard megadeth and soundgarden blast through his radio in his shitty van dropping dustin off late, and even in school you saw the patches of rock and metal bands you liked on his backpack, or the studs on his jean jacket. you liked his style and like him, you carried the punk rock edge to you with multiple facial piercings and your black clothing. you enjoyed your style, even in high school you managed to apply dark makeup and were only allowed on piercing, so you kept your lip one. you grew into your own as you got older, only having a liking for horror and sci-fi movies, metal, rock and goth music, and loving your dark dull aesthetic. and eddie liked it too, he actually couldn’t believe how sexy you made looking and dressing like a ‘freak.’

you also noticed these last few months eddie has been coming over a lot more frequently, sometimes at night, sometimes early in the morning to take dustin to school. you didn’t realize until he came over three days in a row, and noticed he would linger in the same room you were in while dustin was off doing his usual around the house, or he’d make comments about the movie you’d be watching and then leave. you never minded it of course, you liked talking to him, you actually felt seen around him and he made you feel like the two of you could relate a lot more than you think.

you also kind of liked to push how far you could go with his boundaries. you’ve had a small crush on him since he started coming around a year ago, you couldn’t help but feel a flutter when he’d greet you with a small hug, or a blush when he’d tell you he liked the outfit you had on. but as the months went on you noticed your words took effect on him too, and you relished in the fact that you knew you could make him squirm a bit.

he enjoyed it even though he knew what you were doing, even though he was going fucking insane. he refused to indulge in his fantasies, in dropping hints that he wanted you in every way possible, he refused to risk his own relationship with your brother. he tried for the entire year he and your brother were friends, to ignore the things you do involuntarily. he didn’t know if half the things you did were on purpose or not, but he had to choke down groans seeing you bend over in tight black dresses, he had to refrain from sneaking into your room just so he can see what it looks like. he hated that you did this to him, that you could be this damn sexy it’s like it was doomed from the beginning.

it was the night dustin had a few friends over for a small get together, one of them being eddie and the others being his usual friend group, mike, el, max, lucas, will and steve as well. steve was forced to go by dustin and eddie, eddie mainly begging because he didn’t want to be the only babysitter there.

you were wearing your usual lounging around outfit when you decided to change because you were heading out that night with a few friends, and you got into your usual all black outfit. only this time you had on black mini skirt on that barely covered your ass as you walked, so to help with coverage you chose black sheer, nearly see through, tights underneath that were slightly torn and ripped, and your top was a deep cut baby tee that was black with rhinestones on it. it was cute to you, you loved skimpy clothes as much as anyone else did and you loved the way it hugged onto your thick body.

you just finished your makeup when you decided to slip on your black heeled boots and go downstairs to gather your things. it was kind of like in the movies when the woman steps down the stairs in her ballgown, having her date gawk at her. only this time you had two little pieces of clothes dripped in all black, and eddie was the one gawking at you while everyone paid attention to the game they were playing.

“i can’t believe i’m here. where the fuck is robin and nance?” steve huffed as he slumped in his seat, eating his pizza.

“you know you should be more grateful to spend time with us, asshole. we could all die tomorrow!” dustin exclaimed from his seat, and steve just rolled his eyes.

“how about in right now?” he mumbled.

eddie wasn’t too focused on anything except the music coming from upstairs, is that the cranberries?, he asked himself, trying to crane his neck as if it’d make him hear better. it wasn’t long before he heard your door open and your hard footsteps treading down the stairs. he felt his heartbeat pick up and the minute you fell into his peripheral he had to turn to look at you. big fucking mistake.

the minute he saw your curvy figure in your tight clothing that just made everything more prominent, he felt that rush. not adrenaline rush, he felt his blood fall from his cheeks and straight into his cock. he was beyond embarrassed, lucky for him he was holding a pillow next to him and quickly moved it over his front. something you saw very briefly, wondering why he looked pained almost.

“alright, i’m leaving dustin, don’t fuck the house up or i will kill everyone here and get away with it,” you said emotionless, going to grab your purse and keys on the kitchen counter.

“don’t get pregnant!” dustin shouted from the living room and you walked back in to say goodbye to your little brother and his friends.

“yeah yeah you too, bye, love you,” you said and leaned down to leave a kiss on his forehead, something eddie paid way too close attention to. he could see down your shirt from his seat, and he could only feel his pants grow tighter around his waist. he wanted to stuff his face in your chest, to hold you by your wide waist and pull you to his body. he wanted to defile you more than you’d ever been.

“problem eddie?” you asked, snapping your fingers where you stand behind dustin, sending everyone’s eyes to his direction.

“uh, wha- I, no, yeah i like this game too,” he stuttered and mostly everyone tried to stifle their laugh while dustin questioned him.

“okay?” you said in a confused laugh, walking off around the group to pass by eddie and bringing your hand to ruffle through his brown locks, and to his shoulder to squeeze slightly.

“see ya later, weirdo,” you said and left, leaving eddie rock hard, embarrassed and in complete shock. he needed your touch everywhere, and that same night after he finally got home and laid in bed, he jerked off to the images he internally burned in his mind.

remembering that night gave you ideas for every time you saw him after that. wearing the skimpiest clothes to open the door when eddie walked dustin to the door, making sure that when he was there at your house you were wearing the thinnest tank top with no bra, and checking that the thermostat was set at a cool 69 degrees.

it was like hell. if he were in heaven. he was tortured seeing you, but the more he saw you the more he craved you. he was excited to see you now, to see what you would have one the next time as you offered a drink in a sultry voice, bending over extra low to reach a fake cord from behind the tv while he sat on the couch. he felt like he was going to fall into a deep black hole that would open up every time you were around, he could follow you around like a puppy if you wanted.

he made excuses to see you, he embarrassed himself in moments just so he could see you, or hear your voice. he was genuinely obsessed with you, that even seeing you for five seconds could make his entire day complete. he was desperate, and you knew.

“you, eddie munson, looking for homework?” you scoffed, crossing your arms over your chest to cover yourself. you felt exposed, just waking up from a nap after dropping dustin off early in the morning, wearing nothing but black shorts and a small tank top that was a little see through if you stared hard enough.

“uh, yeah it’s like this paper i had to write, for…” he trailed as his eyes unknowingly moved to glance over you. he couldn’t help but look at how the shorts hugged your thighs and hips. please let suffocate me. his thoughts were impure, not gentleman like. he should be ashamed.

“for…?” you asked, waving your hand in front of him to get his attention back.

“-my class, it’s in a few minutes,” he said checking his watch on his wrist.

“you do know dustin isn’t here right? and the backpack in question is… with him… at school,” you said in an obvious tone, making him reach to the back of his neck and cringe at himself.

“yeah, right…. um, bye,” he said quickly and left, cursing at himself under his breath as he tried to refrain from thinking of the way you looked before he grew hard. you didn’t shut the door until he drove off, almost smiling to yourself that he did that, made that silly excuse to just talk to you for two minutes.

it was little things that he did that drove you equally as crazy, and the fact that he did everything he could just to see your face made you want him even more. it made you wonder why he hadn’t tried anything with you yet. you assumed he felt like you did, so you didn’t question if he found you attractive or sexy, you just wondered what was holding him back from taking the next step.

«──── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»«──── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

eddie found himself a bit stuck in his own thoughts as dustin, mike, will, gareth, jeff and lucas discuss plans of their next campaign. he wanted to focus on the words and suggestions coming out of dustin’s mouth, he wanted to shout desperately when gareth recommended something that would put the entire campaign in jeopardy, but nothing could come from him.

dustin invited everyone over to spend the night while they plan their new campaign for d&d, he knew it could take all night even the day after to create something flawless, so he figured it’d be best to have those who can sleep over. you were a bit bothered by having that much testosterone in the house, but a little won over by the fact that eddie would be spending the night as well.

you catered for the group of course. After you got home from work around seven or eight at night, you bought pizza and drinks for the kids and acted as their mother, fixing their sleeping arrangements and making sure everyone had pillows and blankets before bed. the minute you walked into your home with the pizza and drinks, everyone zoomed to the kitchen except eddie. he shyly walked over to you with his black jeans on and muscle shirt under his jean jacket.

“i can get that for you,” he offered, nodding to the pizza boxes and liters in both hands.

“here, you can take the drinks,” you smiled and handed him the bag of drinks, letting your fingers linger a little on his while transferring the bag to him. he could feel the softness of your touch, how you grazed the outside of his hand with your nails and smoothly removing your hand from the bag.

“thank you,” you said and lightly patted his chest, moving past him closely so that your body touches his.

stop it eddie. stop! he screamed at himself as you started to tell the kids to not make a mess, trying to keep himself from getting hard again and finally going to put the sodas on the counter where you placed the pizza.

“eddie?” you said and walked over to him where he holds a paper plate in his hand, his eyes wide and doe like as he turned to you immediately.

“yeah? whats up?” he said quickly, gripping his plate.

“you think you can help me make everyone’s bed? i can’t reach the sheets in the closet,” you said innocently, batting your eyelashes and flashing a smile.

“y-yeah, of course.” he obliged and put the plate down, following you upstairs to the closet in the hall. you made sure to go first, your pencil skirt hugging your ass and thighs perfectly, putting him in a trance he never wanted to get out of.

“it’s right over here,” you said and turned right, stopping at white double doors. you opened the doors and reached to turn on the light, letting yourself be as exaggerated as possible, and leaning back to let him through. you turned to the side as he walked up to the closet, staying there and watching him as he strained his body upwards, his shirt lifting a bit to show his pale skin littered with tattoos, even seeing his slight v-line, something you wanted to explore. you didn’t try to hide the fact that you were checking him out.

you decided to test him again, so you scooted your body closer to his and leaned across, your breasts and your body touching his as you reached for a pillow that was on a lower shelf. your hand skimmed his skin not so subtly, grabbing the pillow and squeezing it to your stomach to make your tits more prominent in your hardly buttoned button up.

eddie’s skin was on fire, if he wasn’t thinking about d&d before you came home, he definitely wasn’t thinking about it now. he gathered all of the sheets and some pillows, pulling them out and going back to his relaxed position as you stared up at him with a devilish smile.

“what do you think you’re doing?” he asked in a serious tone, taking notice of your breasts pushed together and again, you saw it on his face. that restraint, the self control he tried to muster up.

“what do you mean, eds?” you tried to play naive, like you were unaware of this little game the two of you had partaken in. it was cat and mouse except less action. you liked to tease and taunt, and he held himself tight with a piece of string that was held by the relationship he had with dustin. who would he be if he actually made a move on one of his best friend’s sister?

“i can’t do that to dustin. i can’t.” he said to you, not even acknowledging your fake unawareness.

“i don’t know what you’re talking about.” you said seriously and turned towards the stairs, “you comin’?” you asked sweetly, yet still a mischievous smile on your face. you were testing how far you could go without breaking that string, but now you wanted to break it. you wanted him to fall apart for you, to finally admit he’s wanted you this whole time.

eventually after everyone settled in, the group went down into the basement and began to watch a movie as the night went on. you told everyone you’ll be in your room, changing into something more comfortable to accompany your brother and his friends.

“it’s just supposed to be us,” dustin huffed and you rolled your eyes, accepting the fact you were unwelcomed and you changed anyway, going into the living room to watch a movie by yourself.

«──── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»«──── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────»

the boys settled in the basement around 11 at night after arguing about their storyline, going to sleep with no successful campaign just yet but successfully watching two movies before everyone knocked out. eddie was no help obviously, too deep in thought about the way your hands felt, how your warm body pressed into his side, what exactly you were hiding under that pencil skirt. he didn’t realize how sexy you made office attire look, suddenly imagining himself bending you over your office desk and railing you to the point all of your papers and knick knacks fell over. it’s all he thought about as the boys talked over the movie, wondering what it would be like to just go upstairs and take you on the couch.

he rubbed his hand over his face with a deep breath, sighing and throwing over the blankets he had on himself on his other side, getting up from the small couch you had in your basement. eddie knew where everything was in the house, and he made his way to the kitchen for some kind of beverage. a beer, if he was lucky.

he was lucky, just not with the beer. once he got into the threshold of the kitchen, he saw the dim light from underneath the cabinet that’s above the counter glowing against you. your back was to him, seemingly eating something, yet he just stared at your figure. from here, the view of your ass was almost problematic. your tight shorts didn’t let much hide from his sight, he could see the crease of your asscheeks peeking out of the fabric, and he saw the small of your back due to your tank top rising up and nearly above your midriff.

“couldn’t sleep?” eddie asked you finally as he came to lean on the counter across from where you stood.

“i was just craving something sweet, you?” you asked, turning around unphased since you already felt him staring at you. you looked at him as you licked your spoon clean and he breathed in deep.

“something like that,” he said and stood up straight, walking around to you and now standing in front of you, leaning his body against the counter to mimic your stance.

“dustin’s my friend, you know that, and you're like, wow you know? it's hard to, control myself,” he slightly admits, beginning to watch as you sensually lick ice cream from your spoon again after you dipped into the pint for another scoop.

“mhm,” you hummed in agreement, eyes never leaving his. you weren't phased by his confession, you already knew. he tried to not show how in love he was with you, but failed miserable every time.

“i can’t do anything to ruin that, he’d hate me forever,” eddie said slowly, too enchanted by the way your tongue glides over the spoon.

“i don’t know what you mean, eddie,” still keeping up with your shenanigans, wondering if he’d snap any time soon.

“really? the short skirts, showing your cleavage, walking around here with no bra when i’m around, like you want me to die really,” he said dramatically, his hands waving in the air and you smiled, putting the ice cream down.

“that’s just how i dress, eddie. plus this is my house, i can wear whatever i want,” you gleamed and he huffed.

“i won’t lie though, some things i do wear for you. like this, i know you like black. and i know you like when i don’t wear a bra, i see you staring at them all of the time,” you said stepping closer to him as his fingers grip the edge of the counter. he was silent, he couldn't talk. embarrassed at the fact that you actually noticed his not so obvious yet obvious stares.

“do you wanna feel them eddie? or do you just want to stare from a distance and jerk off in the bathroom when i leave?” his face turned a bright red, remembering the times he’d have to leave early or go to your bathroom to deal with what you caused.

“yes,” he answered without thinking, stepping towards you so that there is only a small gap between the two of you. your head turns upwards to look at him as he looks down between the two of you, watching your chest rise and fall with every breath.

“do you want me to-” you began but eddie shook his head quickly.

“shut up,” he demanded, pressing his lips into yours firmly. but it wasn’t like you expected.

normally when you made out with guys, it was boring and dull. there was no excitement, no crave, no desire, it felt like nothing to you. but feeling eddie’s lips on yours practically made your knees buckle, so soft and gentle yet still needy, begging for more. you feel his tongue slide against your lips and you part them slightly, letting him invade your mouth as your tongue fought with his. heavy breathing, panting, soft moans coming from you and occasional groans from eddie as his hands rested at your waist, just to inch upwards on your skin and up your shirt.

he pulled away breathlessly, leaving you flushed and aching for me as his eyes trained on your midsection, watching the piece of fabric lift with every inch he went up.

“you, you are so fucking dangerous,” he said roughly, his black fingernails skimming against the curves of your body, his hands rubbing on your rolls, pressing them into your back to pull you closer.

you could tell his touch was so needy, so eager to feel all of you all at once.

“what makes me dangerous? is it my incredibly intimidating face?” you smiled, watching his eyes grow dark with every touch on your body.

“mm, no baby, you have a pretty face.” he said, more confident than ever now that he knows this little game of yours was over. baby. the pet name sending a shock of pleasure straight to your core that you has to press your thighs together. he noticed.

his hands move to your midsection again, finally deciding to raise the tank top up off of your body. this was risky, you knew that. you were exposed in the very public kitchen that anyone could walk in at any moment, pressed against the counter now with eddie teasing his way around your large breasts.

“holy fucking shit.” he breathed as he cupped them in his hands, massaging and feeling over every inch of skin. he bounced them in his hands, pushed them together to see them fall to their natural state, and immediately brought his lips to the curve of your breast and slowly towards your hardened nipple. he wanted to savor all of you, to feel you and memorize what you liked and what you looked like under all these clothes.

“eddie?” you whispered as he stuffed his face in between your tits as he pushed them up, making you smile boyishly.

“mmmhm?” he hummed, shaking his head in your chest and you tug his hair up, sending a jolt to eddie’s crotch and making him wince.

“do you want me?” you asked, looking at his face in the dull light, wanting to bask in his gaze. you loved the slight stubble on his jaw, how his nose was lightly peppered with small freckles, the way his lips looked so pink and swollen—it drove you crazy.

“fuuuck yes, yes i want you, are you crazy?!” he whisper-shouted, making you blush and pull your lip in between your teeth.

“show me,” you teased, moving your hand from gripping his hair and on his shoulder. he was so quick with grabbing your wrists and practically pulling you upstairs into your bedroom, shutting the door by pressing you up against it. it was so quick, you didn’t even feel shame in the fact that you only had your bottoms on going up your stairs.

“i would’ve loved to fuck you over that kitchen counter, but i’d rather not have dustin and our friends see me sinning with his older sister,” he said as he dipped his head into the crook of your neck and leaving small kitten licks and kisses on your skin.

“thank you,” you breathed, holding him tight to your body.

you did feel a bit bad about engaging with eddie like this, you knew it was a bad mistake as dustin’s sister. this was his best friend, and here you are in your bedroom with your tank top down stairs, feeling the way he’s pressed up against you.

“mm, don’t thank me yet, sweetheart,” he grinned into your collarbone.

“since i can’t fuck you over the counter, i think we’ll just have to settle for that little vanity you got,” his voice was so dark, so deep that you didn’t even really recognize who it was. it made you drip into your panties, and immediately you let out a tiny whine.

eddie moved you to the white, pristine vanity you had where you sat and did your makeup everyday. it wasn’t much, but it did come with a mirror and the thought of watching eddie fuck you from the back like that became too intense for you.

you instinctively bent over still in your short shorts, watching eddie behind you as he softly throws his head back and releases a long ‘fuuuuck’ as you swayed your hips gently against his crotch. he rubbed over the globes of your ass, teasing his fingers at the hem of your shorts.

“i can’t believe you’re bent over like this for me,” he says as he removed his black shirt and stepped out of his sleep pants, only leaving the fabric of his boxers strained against his hard on. you felt it in the kitchen, and you feel it even more now pressing against your ass. you whimpered a little, trying to rub against him until he gripped your meaty hips and stilled your movements.

“you gotta be good for me, okay baby? let me take my time,” he cooed, rubbing over the wideness of your hips and ass as he met your eyes in the mirror. he lingered his fingers around your waist band and slowly tugged your shorts down, leaving you completely bare, and leaving eddie feeling like he could cum just from the fabric of his boxers rubbing against his tip.

“no fucking panties?” he questioned, standing back up as he stared at your bare ass, moving your cheeks to spread and reveal both your holes.

“i, i forgot,” you lied, looking at his body through the mirror. the only light that’s shining on the both of you is the orange hue from the street lights in your neighborhood, the shadow of your window blinds casting on eddie right now. you liked the way his pale body looked under that glow, the way his patch work tattoos mixed together well, some looked lighter than others and the bigger ones were more complex. you wanted to inspect each and every one, know the meaning of them, why he got them.

“i know you didn’t forget, baby. you don’t have to lie to me,” he said and got on his knees to become face to face with your bare pussy. even though you were a little insecure about the way you looked down there, you tried to be as confident as ever just in case it wasn’t what a man was attracted to. you’ve met men who preferred skinny women, or men who didn’t like the way you looked down there because you were ‘too big.’

eddie’s hands gripped your ass and thighs firmly, spreading them as he pleased and watching the way your lips spread to reveal your wetness leaking out of you.

“fuck, fuck im so,” he tried to say but he was losing it. he was going feral at the thought of you being this wet and dripping for him, losing it at the fact he had you bent over naked for him, whimpering and moaning for him.

“is, is it too much?” you cringed inwardly at yourself, shutting your eyes and resting your face on your hands that are folded on the vanity.

“what? no what? too much, what do you mean?” he said, standing up and looking at you through the mirror, still gripping your ass.

“like, am i too, um, fat?” you asked. you knew how ridiculous you sounded, how insecure you sounded. but it truly wasn’t like that for you, you were worried more so about the fact that eddie wouldn’t be big enough to pleasure you. you weren’t much of a size person, but if you wanted to ride someone it would be a bit hard to do that with someone who was 5 inches, for you at least.

“what the fuck? absolutely fucking not, oh my god, baby you are so fucking sexy. i’m literally drooling over this pussy, please i need to ruin you,” he begged, slapping your ass a bit and kissing over the sting. his kisses led him to your inner thigh, and moved his lips to kiss over your wet pussy lips that were pushed together by your thick thighs, and you sucked in a breath as you felt his tongue slide up to collect your slickness, and moving in between your lips.

“eddieee, fuck eddie what are you doing,” you asked as he moved his hand to use his middle and ring finger to rub gently over your cunt, spreading your pussy lips and letting his tongue find your clit swiftly, sucking and slurping as you spread your legs a little more.

“i’m eating this pretty pussy,” he mumbled against your cunt, going back to wrapping his lips around your clit as he licked and sucked, sending you to bite your arm to shush yourself. you saw the way he gripped your ass with his other hand, felt how he kept slapping at your skin, spreading one cheek as his other hand was finding your hole with his fingers.

“fuck, fuck eddie please, please make me cum,” you begged, squirming and moving your legs as you tried to grip the table itself to keep from thrashing. it was so overbearing, the fact that he was so handsome and sexy, and he was buried in your cunt.

“mmmm, baby,” he hummed against your folds, making you jolt and cry a bit. he removed his lips with a pop, letting his tongue lick up your juices on his lips, and watching as his fingers sank into your tight hole. his mouth practically fell open as he watched you stretch around his digits, and watching your eyes through the mirror roll back and your mouth open.

“that feel good baby? am i making you feel good?” he asked against your thigh, pumping his two fingers in and out of you as your breathing started to pick up, your back arching against the table.

“fuck baby, yes yes it feels so good, please don’t stop don’t fucking stop eddie,” you begged, reaching your arm back to grab at his head and pull him back to your cunt, making eddie even more excited at your neediness. he didn’t even realize how turned on his was until he found himself palming his cock through his boxers as you kept his head in place with your hand and rutted against his tongue and fingers. it was hands down the sexiest thing he’d ever felt, letting you use him to get yourself off and grind into his face, he was so desperate for you he found himself moaning into your cunt.

he was going crazy, and it wasn’t until he finally grabbed your hand and moved it so he could use the hand he was palming his cock with to spread your ass, and move his tongue from your clit to your asshole. he used your juices he collected with his tongue and spit directly on your hole, still letting his fingers pump in and out of your hole, but letting his tongue find his way between your cheeks.

“oh my god, oh my f- eddie, please don’t stop please fuck, i need it, i need you please,” it was your begging that made him feel drunk, the sound of you so desperate and so willing to do anything just so you can feel good, his mind was focused on you and only you. he actually forgot where he was for a moment, and let himself eat your holes out as he pleases.

“eddie, fuck i swear i’m gonna cum, please can i please cum?” he didn’t even tell you that you had to beg for your release, he didn’t even expect that you wanted permission, and now that he knows he doesn't want to give it to you just yet. he was loving the way you looked right now, how fucked out and desperate you looked, how sex just dripped from your pleadings.

“not yet pretty girl,” he said, his face covered in your juices and still, he wanted more. he moved his tongue back down to your hole where he decided to slowly add a third finger, letting his tongue trace around the way your cunt gripped his fingers.

“s’ too much, eddie please let me cum,” you felt the tears sting your eyes, and you didn’t even realize you were crying until you finally moved your head from the table and to look in the mirror, seeing your puffy eyes and red face, the tears leaking from your eyes. all you could see was the way his arms and hands were gripping your backside, yet the obscene slurping and moaning made it too intense for you to keep watching him devour you. you felt how his head shook and moved in your cunt, how his lips and tongue worked so beautifully on your clit, you even felt how the tip of his nose rubbed against your slit. it was so much, so overwhelming, you felt like you couldn’t breathe.

“tell me it’s mine, tell me this pussy is mine,” he said, moving his lips to kiss over your thighs again. you felt the way his fingers curved into you, hitting your soft spot that made you want to explode. your eyes couldn’t keep open, you felt like you were going cross eyed with the way you felt. never have you felt like this from getting head before, never felt so excited and so wet, you’ve never felt so needy the way eddie made you feel.

“eddie, it’s all yours, fuck it always has been, this pussy’s yours, please,” you cried, making sure you were only loud enough for him to hear.

“mm, that’s all i wanted to hear baby, cum for me, cum on my face,” he said and moved his lips back to your cunt, his tongue working feverishly now on your clit, sucking, grazing his teeth against your nub, licking and even using the fingers that were inside of you to replace his tongue and let his fingers work your clit.

“i’m, fuuuck, fuck i’m cumming, i’m fu-” you moaned, letting your body go limp on the table as your legs shook, your release coating his tongue and face as he kept fucking your hole with his tongue. you were practically biting down on your hand, his tongue still going and sending you into a spiral.

“baby, please, i can’t,” you gasped, begging him to halt. he finally releases you, the slurping and wet sounds no longer as he stood up and rubbed his hands over your ass while he pushed his erection into your wet cunt. he reached and grabbed you by your neck, pulling your naked body to his chest as he looks at your figure in the mirror. his left hand moves around your jiggly body, gripping at your tummy that bulges out slightly, squeezing everywhere and grabbing your cunt with his whole hand.

“this all mine, pretty baby? only for me?” he asked again in your ear, moving his hand to grip your tits and playing with your nipples.

“yes eddie fuck, please. make me yours? i wanna be yours,” you begged, your voice hoarse and weak, sounding completely different than your usual snarky tone. he couldn’t help but smirk to himself, having you like putty in his hands when the whole time you made him nervous.

his. yours. mine. the words eddie has craved to hear, he’s dreamed of cumming to you telling him you’re his. he’s wanted you for so long and here you are, all fucked out against his chest and still begging for more. he couldn’t help but move his boxers down to fall at his ankles, letting his cock spring free against your ass and quickly slipping it between your thighs, right against your pussy. through the mirror, you could see the tip of his cock peeking through your plush thighs, and watched as he fucked your thighs using the slickness from your cunt.

“fuck, this pussy’s so fucking wet for me, you want me to fuck you? maybe you’ll stop teasing me when i’m over here if i finally stretch you out, hm? what do you think?” he panted, enjoying the feeling of your thighs pressing against his cock, stopping before he could cum.

“please fuck me, i’ll be good, please,” you whined, moving your hand to feel the tip of his cock, feeling him buck his hips and hearing a low growl from his throat. he pulls you back with him, still pressed against his chest, even after you fall back on top of him when he decided to sit on your bed against the wall. now, he has your legs spread in the air with the back of your head pressed against his shoulder as he peers over your shoulder to watch you spread all for him. you can feel his hard cock against your asshole, seeing it over your cunt and moving your hips to coat his cock with your juices.

“uh-uhn, i’m not done,” he grumbled, keeping your legs spread and watching the way your pussy lips spread open with the way your legs were in the air, and how easy it was to access your clit and rub your wetness over your hole and clit.

he moved his hand to push his cock against your cunt, rubbing it between your fat lips making sure his tip hits right at the hood of your clit.

“can i suck it?” you asked shyly, you couldn’t help but moan at the size of it and seeing it rub against your pussy. “‘s so big,” you finished and he blushed, throwing his headback with a groan. he wanted to hear you ask him to suck him off over and over again, the way you sounded so small and shy about it, how you actually wanted to take him in your mouth. he'll definitely be thinking about that now.

“fuck, what i’d give to feel those lips right now, but not tonight baby. i need to be inside you, right fucking now,” he groaned and finally pushed his cock at your hole, feeling his tip intrude and slide in slowly. he wanted to try to get you used to the feeling of him stretching his way inside you, but slowly realized it was him who needed to get used to how tight your cunt sucked him in.

“oh my fuck, i could fuckin’ cum right now,” he groaned as he relaxed inside you, adjusting you on top of him so he could see better and you were better pressed against his chest. he could see everything from the way he’s looking down behind you, he could see your eyes fighting to stay open as he slid inside, and the way your legs squirmed trying to stay open.

“you’re doing so good for me, pretty girl, so good,” he praised, awakening something inside you. somehow, he made you want to do everything right to hear him tell you how good you’re doing for him.

“eddieeee,” you whined as you felt yourself sink onto all of him, watching your hips begin to move on his trying to fuck yourself on him.

“what baby? you need more?” he asked as he gripped your belly, loving the way it looked with your knees almost at your chest.

“harder, please,” you begged, throwing your head back to look up at him, just as he looked down at you with your eyebrows pinched and your mouth open. he smiles, kissing all over your face as he began to fuck up into you faster and harder, moving to watch your tits and tummy bounce with every thrust. he decided to take your legs and hold them open while still on top of him, slapping at your thighs and whispering dirty things in your ear. all you can muster out are occasional moans and cries, whining his name out.

“gotta be quiet sweetface, don’t need anyone hearing you moan my name for me like that, only me baby,” he groaned. you could feel the rumble of his chest against your back as you watch him slide in and out of you. you were cockdrunk at this point, so dumb and fucked out that you can’t form a coherent sentence.

eddie felt like he was losing himself in you, the way you squeezed your walls around him and cried out how big he was made him want to be more than inside you. he really wanted to crawl inside your skin and be with you twenty four seven, he wanted to be the piece of gum stuck at your shoe just so he’s near you. he was desperate for you in every way and it showed in each thrust.

“need you on your back, baby,” he grunted and slipped out of you, moving your body to be laying underneath him rather than on top of him. he moved your legs harshly, spreading them apart and slapping your pussy just to watch it recoil with every slap.

“such a pretty fucking pussy baby, can’t believe it’s all mine,” he said moreso to himself. he was rubbing up and down your thighs and belly with his cock rubbing against your entrance, watching you squirm and beg for him.

“i love your cock so fucking much, please fuck me,” you begged in a whisper, and he gripped your belly when he decided to finally slip back inside you, watching the way your tits were pressed together and nearly covering the bottom of your face.

“mm, fuck you’re so pretty like this,” he said as he brought his hand to your chin, his thumb rubbing over your lips as he slid inside you again, this time a little more rougher than last time. when he slid inside, you gave him the opportunity to slip his thumb in your mouth when you moaned softly, and you instantly wrapped your lips around his thumb and started sucking and licking on it like it was his cock.

he was in a trance watching you, and feeling your walls clench down on him at the same time. he couldn’t believe you wanted him like this, and how nasty you were for him, he kind of forgot about you being anyone’s sister.

you decided to bite down a bit on his thumb and watched as he winced, but felt the way his cock twitched inside of you. the pace he was going was harsh and rough, the sound of his balls slapping against your ass was something he didn’t even try to conceal. instead, his own groans and moans were getting a little louder, the both of your moans mixing together.

“eddie, it feels so good, fuck you’re so perfect,” you cried with his thumb still in your mouth and he leaned down, kissing your face and neck trying to reposition himself and angle differently. when he did, you could actually feel the air slip inside and the next thrust he hit, you and he both heard the sound of you queefing, immediately feeling embarrassed and wanting to cover your face.

“mmm, fuck she’s talkin’ to me baby,” he said in a smile while he kept pumping his cock in and out of you. you giggled and hit his chest, telling him to shut up and keep fucking you, trying to ignore the embarrassing noise your own vagina made.

“c’mon, she sounds so fucking good, so fucking wet for my cock, yeah?” he cooed, sending electricity down to your clit and making you arch your back. when you do, he takes the chance to catch your nipple in his mouth and nip and suck at it.

“fuck eddie, you’re filling me up so fucking good, s’full of you,” you tugged at his curls and kept his head on your chest, feeling the impeccable stretch of his large cock. it was so girthy, so long that you felt like you were being split in half. it was painful, and that made it even more pleasurable. the way the patch of hair above his cock was rubbing against your sensitive clit made you cry out, scratching and scarring his back as you heard his groans and moans become more visceral, harsher, and you felt the way his hips started to buck and stutter.

it was when he released your tit to meet your eyes, and wrapped his hand around your neck, gently squeezing—that’s when you immediately felt the tug in your tummy, your thighs and legs tensing as you watched the way he lost control inside of you. you felt even hornier watching his body form a sheet of sweat, his face contorting into pure pleasure, and you felt how his cock reached the deepest part of your cervix.

“fuck, look at that, creaming all over my cock, fuck princess cum for me, cum all over me, make a fuckin’ mess please,” he begged, kissing your lips, still being able to taste yourself on him from earlier. your hand went up to grab his wrist, beginning to buck your hips against his and feeling the burst of pleasure flood through your body, making your legs shake and your moans muffle against his lips. you were still gripping his wrist when he finally pulled back to watch you ride out your orgasm, and he felt like he could cum right then and there. your body was arching for him, aching for more of his touch, bouncing with each thrust, your body littered with purple bruises from giving you hickeys everywhere, how out of it you looked—he needed to cum.

“where do you want it baby? where do you want my cum?” he asked you, releasing your throat and kissing over the place his hand was.

you didn’t think about it for a minute. you wanted him in all his glory, you wanted every bit of him. you craved it for so long, that you’d be stupid not to tell him where you wanted it exactly.

“inside, please eddie, wanna feel you fill me up, need it,” your sentence was not correct, but it got the point across. you didn’t even have to make sense, the minute you said inside he was a goner. he pumped inside you a few more times before thrusting hard one last time, jerking and twitching inside of you as he covered his groans in your flesh.

“fuck, dude you’re so fucking amazing,” he breathed as his body collapsed on yours, his face shoved into your chest.

“did you just call me dude after you came inside of me?” you asked, making sure you heard right. it was funny to you, it was just so eddie.

he rolled over off of you, pulling out at the same time and laying next to you on his back.

“yeah, uh, sorry. force of habit,” he said sheepishly and turned his head to you, trying to read your facial expressions.

“can i clean you up? before i go, uh back downstairs. i don’t want dustin asking where i am just to find me with his sister,” he said and you rolled your eyes.

“he’s a big boy. i think he can handle knowing you like me.” you said and watched him.

“still. he’s my friend, i’d like to tell him on my own terms.” uou couldn’t help but smile, turning your body on your side to face him better and bring your hand to his face.

“you’re the sweetest, you know?” you said and rubbed your fingers over his jaw and stubble.

“i think it’s safe to say you’re the sweetest,” he said referring to the fact that he did very much in fact devour you whole on your vanity desk.

“i’m gonna shower, so don’t worry about cleaning me up. maybe next time, i’m a girl who likes a bit of aftercare.” you said and kissed his lips softly, softer than you did when he was inside you. he kissed back and reached to pull you closer, wanting more of you. you put your hand on his chest and pulled back, leaving him breathless.

“so, this isn’t a one time thing?” he asked as he tried to breathe normal again. the both of you sat up to gather your clothes and as he put them in, you stood up and walked to your dresser, grabbing a pair of panties, a shirt and some shorts not bothering to cover yourself as he gets dressed again.

the second he’s full dressed and standing, you walk up to him with your naked body still pressed against his body, and raise yourself up on your tip-toes to kiss his lips once more.

“i really hope not.”

[kyokikikie]

Hate

(kageyama tobio x reader)

-

-> in which two highschool students who despise each other dearly, get paired up for a project.

!enemies to lovers!

angst w no comfort

masterlist! (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)

she never thought the way she felt for him could change.

After all, she hated his guts. From the moment she met him in the school library, she knew that he was trouble. The way he would shout at the shorter orange haired male who was always beside him every single time made her annoyed. ‘couldn’t he just lower his voice or shut up?!’ she thought to herself.  The way he would look at almost everyone who wasn’t involved with volleyball with that bitch face as if he were trying to find a problem with them. ‘Is he trying to pick a fight?’ she would scoff whenever that happened. 

To be fair, the feeling was mutual. 

Kageyama Tobio hated her guts too. From the moment she refused to help him with his subjects, he basically considered her as arrogant, he never wanted to speak to her or ask for her help again. The way she BOUGHT THE LAST PACKET OF MILK from the vending machine ( which didn’t restock for a week ) made him irritated and unable to focus during his volleyball practice.

They both didn't cross paths or spoke for months till their homeroom teacher made them pair up for a project that they had to do. 

As expected, they both didn't say anything to each other even when they had a discussion going on. The teacher however, didn't seem to get a hint so she threatened them with a failing grade. 

“If it wasn't for my grades, I would literally throw a brick to your face.” Y/N muttered to herself. “what?” the look on the raven haired male was full of disgust, “you think I want to be here with you? tsk, shittykawa would be a better partner instead."

The girl beside him scoffed, “what makes you think I want to be here with YOU. You can't even slice a simple math question, we are going to fail anyway because of what a  dumbass you are.” 

Kageyama clenched his fist. He had never been called a dumbass by anyone other than his volleyball teammates and sister before. Oh this girl must have had a lot of nerves to say that. Before he could even return an insult, the teacher announced to the class that this project must be done in 3 weeks and is recommended to meet outside of school. 

Y/n and Kageyama both gave an annoyed look before packing their bags for dismissal. After school, Y/N went straight to the library to complete all her homework given for the day, her mind not leaving the fact that she had to meet that volleyball obsessed psycho outside of school. Either way, it was for the grade. as long as she doesn't fail, it would be fine. Although she didn't have the setter’s number… 

Y/n looked out of the library window to see the boys volleyball gym still practicing. She can't believe she's doing this. She can't believe she's actually going to the boy's volleyball gym just to find the person she hates most. Her hands slid the door open, a whole new scenery flashed across her eyes.

BAM! 

The sound of a volleyball smashed the gym’s wooden floor. It was none other than Kageyama who had put all his anger on the ball. “geez… sooner or later this boy is gonna break something." The gray haired upperclassmen, Sugawara-senpai sighed,

“Oh? Who's this? Noya, do you know her?” Suga said to the libero beside him when he spotted the H/c haired girl standing at the door. “nope!” Nishinoya exclaimed, popping the ‘p’. 

“uhm, sorry to disturb your training but may I speak to…that guy.. for a while?” Y/N pointed to the scowling setter while the two boys hid their laughs. She didn't want to say it. she didn't want to say his name.

Sugawara quickly called Kageyama over. the male was no't expecting to see Y/n standing at the door of the gym. He went over to the h/c coloured hair girl, ready to throw another insult till he was interrupted by her. “Look, don't get this the wrong way. Its all for our project. our teacher recommended us to meet outside school to complete it so I would need you number to give you heads up.”

“that's smooth.”

“shut the fuck up and just give me your number already.” “Fine.” the setter typed his number on Y/N’s device before turning his back and continued with practice.

for the first two days, things were not going well, Y/N and Kageyama almost got kicked out of the library for arguing too loudly and they didn't even manage to complete at least one part of the assignment within two days.

On the third day, Y/N had enough. there was no point in insulting him anymore there's no point when the risk of them failing is high. “Yo, I think we should just call it a truce. us arguing is not making progress at all.” The boy just nodded and they both got along with no arguments, no insults.

As days went by, Y/N realised that she despised kageyama for nothing. Sure he was loud and annoying at times but he could be a tad bit motivational when he talks about his love for volleyball. the way his eyes would glim and glitter from thinking about the feeling of setting the ball. the way his lips would curl into a smile when the thought of being able to go back to practice one the project is done made Y/N's heart skip a beat.

who knew the cold, loud kageyama tobio would have such a cute smile.

Before she even realised it, she was falling. falling hard for the boy she once hated. She didn't think that her feelings could change but there she was, lying in bed thinking about him and his silly little sport.

it was a matter of time till Kageyama found out. the way Y/N acted so differently around him made him wonder if she actually thought of them as friends.

the day the project was due, Kageyama couldn't wait to step foot in the gym where he'd almost planned to stay there overnight. Half way through the practice that he had longed for, The raven haired boy was called out by one of his upperclassmen, “Someone is finding you outside, kageyama, you can join back later alright?”

Much to his surprise, His former project parter was there, back leaning against the outer wall of the gymnasium as she crossed her arms waiting. “I thought you said you’d never want to see me again?” Tobio said, startling her, “what gives?”

“I know i said that but… i guess people change, i think?” She fiddled with her hands, “Look, i used to hate you. You and your addiction for volleyball. You and your scowling face. But, working with you for this project made me realised that i was just judging a book by its cover.”

Y/n shifted her eyes to the sandy ground.

“I think i like you kageyama.”

no response. The girl lifted up her head only to greeted with the sight of the the boy, covering his mouth as if he was trying to hold his laughter. "W-Whats so funny?"

"I was just pretending to be nice to you so we would get a passing grade, i did expect you to fall for me. HAHA you should have seen your face when you said that"

oh.

The setter's words stabbed Y/n's heart like a knife. Of course it was an act. after all, he hated her. She stood frozen, shoulders hunched as she lowered her gaze once again as if the weight of his words pressed her into the ground.

Y/n clutched onto her school bag, "It was a prank by the way." she retorted, turning around. "i didnt expect you to be that mean, kageyama." As soon as she said that, the girl walked away with a heavy heart.

Kageyama watched as she quickened her pace and disappeared from his horizon before returning to practice. Unbeknownst to him, his teammates were eavesdropping on his conversation, crowding around the setter when he stepped foot into the gym.

"Either way kageyama, you were too harsh with her." Hinata chipped in. Kaegeyama grabbed the shorter male by his hair causing him to yelp, "What do you know, dumbass."

"Hinata's right, kageyama. poor girl was holding back her tears." Suga patted him on the shoulder as he looked out the window. kageyama followed his actions.

"she said it was a prank."

"I really doubt that, kageyama."

why couldn't he do anything?

"I think I like you, kageyama"

he was at loss for words, unable to say anything. He wanted to tell her 'i like you too' but when he opened his mouth, that disgustingly awful sentence came out instead.

-

It had been weeks after the 'confession', Y/N completely ignored him whenever he tried to approach her just like the past.

All he wanted was to apologise.

she would never know that.

the confession was real.

he would never know that.

they would never know that in every other universe, kageyama tobio and Y/N L/N would always fall in love.

they would never know.

( a follow is very much appreciated 💙)

[feyhunter78]

Chapter Eight - You've escaped the restaurant with Miguel, and now you sit in a fast food parking lot discussing the night's events.

Ch 9

You sit in Miguel’s passenger seat, burger in hand, fries balanced between your thighs and your vanilla milkshake in the cupholder, and he loves it. Loves how domestic it feels, how you happily eat your food, visibly relaxing into the leather seat.

“So, how did you meet Kasey?” You ask him, fiddling with the air conditioning vent in front of you.

“You’ll hate me.” Miguel says, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly.

“Never.” You say, smiling mischievously at him, intrigue emanating from you.

He knows you, knows you love hearing about any sort of drama as long as you’re not a part of it.

“One-night stand, she was hitting on my brother at first, then Mina stepped in, tried to fight her, so I convinced Kasey it would be better to ride me instead of a stretcher to the hospital.”

Your hand flies to your mouth. “You did not say that to her.”

He groans and gives you a guilty smile. “I did.”

“And she went home with you?”

Kasey is...spontaneous, an adrenaline junkie with an addictive personality and a desire to experience all life has to offer before she has to settle down. Which according to their last conversation would be soon. She’d just been promoted, a new position which would send her out to Vermont. She’d already bought a house, planned to move her dogs there, to reconnect with her sister, and nieces who lived only ten minutes down the road from her new place.

But for all her planning though she was still Kasey, she still wanted a few last moments of fun and Miguel was her favorite place to get them. “She’s obsessed with me.”

Your eyes are wide, shining with amused shock. “You literally said the words, ‘it would be better to ride me than a stretcher to the hospital,’ to her face?”

Miguel takes a calculated risk. “I think my exact words were, you’re a pretty girl and my sister-in-law can fight. So, why don’t we save you a trip to the hospital, and you ride my cock instead of a stretcher?”

Your scent changes, you shift in your seat, gorgeous thighs rubbing against each other. He basks in it, wants to go further, feel that save wave of arousal rolling off you that he did back in the restaurant when he called you a good girl.

“Yeah…maybe we don’t double-date anymore.” You say, dipping a fry in your milkshake, attempting to act entirely unfazed.

“Maybe not.” Miguel agrees. No need to double-date, soon Todd will be gone, Kasey will be gone, and it’ll just be us for all eternity.

He could sit here forever, music playing softly, the hum of the neon sign, your perfume filling the car, the cool night air weaving through the open windows.

After a while, you speak up. “Also, I’m sorry about Todd, he’s…” You trail off, staring at the night sky blankly.

“Kind of a dick?” Miguel fills in for you.

You snort, “yeah, kinda, but seriously he can be so nice sometimes.”

“Sometimes? Y/N he should always be nice to you, you’re amazing.” He wants to shake you, to tell you that Todd is the same as he’s always been, a cruel, selfish, and uncaring man.

It took everything in him to not lunge across the table and sink his fangs into Todd, to tear out his throat and leave him breathless and gurgling, blood staining that ridiculous outfit he wore.

You lean your head back against the headrest and Miguel admires the curve of your neck, how your hair falls back delicately, the steady beating of your pulse, the blood flowing through your veins. “I know…but I just…we’ve been together for a while now, and I always self-sabotage, so I never know if I’m making the flaws up in my head or not.”

“You’re not.” He says, taking a long drink of his own strawberry milkshake. He’ll be throwing it up later tonight, but it’s worth it.

You roll your head to look at him. “Really? How do you know?”

He shrugs, “I just do.”

You close your eyes and let out a long sigh. “I don’t know, I like him, and he doesn’t treat me terribly.”

“He thinks your job is worthless, and that your choices are made without thought, that much was clear.”

Your face scrunches up, eyes still closed. “He’s just so obsessed with money, and don’t get me wrong I want to be rich too, but not at the expense of living my life and doing things I actually enjoy.”

“A life without passions is not worth living.” He says, focusing on the horizon.

You’re quiet, he can hear your thoughts whirling around in your head, a jumbled mess of emotions threatening to tumble out and spill over.

“I just…” Your voice is strained, wobbly, and breaks in the middle.

Miguel glances over at you to see tears glistening as they slip down your cheeks. “Hey, hey, y/n, mi dulce, please don’t cry.” He reaches for your hand, capturing it between his own.

“I’m just so embarrassed, and mad, and tired and I…” You dissolve into sobs, your free hand covering your eyes, your body bending forward in the seat.

“No, no, don’t be embarrassed, why are you embarrassed?” He soothes, his thumb stroking the skin of your inner wrist.

“My fucking boyfriend asked your fuckbuddy for sex tips, and they didn’t even fucking work, but I know you’re good at sex because everyone raves about it, and now you know that I’m…”

Broken? A freak? Stuck laying under a guy who treats me like an object, makes me feel worthless?

Your thoughts are pouring into him, a rushing waterfall of doubt and insecurity.

He can’t sit by anymore, he releases your hand and cups your face, lifting it, so your eyes meet his. “Y/N, I know nothing except what you wish to tell me, I am not judging you, I am judging him, but not you, never you. You are—you deserve so much more than him, and I’m sorry if you feel like I’m overstepping, but I have to say something. You are a good person y/n, sweet, smart, funny, beautiful, dedicated, passionate, caring, and he—he is a wet chihuahua barking because he has nothing better to do.”

He can feel your internal battle, how desperately you want to believe him, how frightened you are of leaving Todd, because what if Miguel doesn’t feel the same as you? He knows you fear risking everything for a chance at nothing. So, he pulls back, you have to make this jump on your own, no matter how badly he wants to carry you.

“As your friend, I would be doing you a disservice by not telling you the truth.” He feels the pang in your heart echoing in his.

Friend, just friends.

You nod, tears slowly drying. “Yeah, you’re right, thank you. It means a lot to me that you care so much.”

He brushes back a lock of your hair, admiring you in the glow of the streetlights. “No tienes idea de lo fácil que es amarte. Essentially, you make it very easy to care about you.” Trsl: You have no idea how easy it is to love you.

You smile at him, and your smile is like the sun blooming over the horizon, like his first breath of air after clawing out of his grave, it is you, you, you, you. “You’re so sweet, thank you.”

“You are easy to be sweet to.” He says, fighting the impulse to lean forward and connect your lips.

You bite back a laugh. “A wet chihuahua?”

He chuckles, caressing your face once more before forcing himself to let go. “It seemed an apt comparison, he’s so small compared to me.”

“Everyone is small compared to you, you’re a giant.”

There you are, his girl, smiling and teasing him, the light returning to your eyes. “I am not.”

“You are! Have you seen yourself? I swear your biceps are bigger than my head. And you’re so broad? Tell me right now, be honest, are you taking steroids?” He busts out laughing and you slap his shoulder. “Miguel, I’m serious, that can’t be natural.”

“I’m not taking steroids; I have good genetics and I work out regularly.” He explains. “It’s all about your diet.”

And I’m an immortal being with enhanced abilities, and physicality.

“Todd will never believe that he swears up and down that steroids are the only way to get really buff.”

“Does he want to gain muscle?” Todd wasn’t weak looking per se, but Miguel wouldn’t say he was “buff.”

You look down at your hands, mumbling. “I like guys with muscles.”

“What was that, dulce? I couldn’t hear you.” Miguel prods. His enhanced hearing of course caught your words, but he wants to hear you say it again.

You scrunch up your nose. “I like guys with muscles okay, I’m a bicep girl, I like having something to hold onto.”

“You like what you like.” Miguel flexes, casually reaching to turn down the music, but he can feel your eyes following his every movement.

“Yeah…but Todd says his ‘genetic makeup isn’t built for bulking’ so I guess that’s that.” You say, a hint of longing in your tone, when he reaches behind his seat to stretch out his shoulders.

Miguel wants to pounce. To take you in the backseat of his car and show you what his strength can do, let you sink your teeth into his biceps, scratch your nails down his back and shoulders, mark him, claim him.

“I hope he sleeps with Kasey.” Your words rip him from his thoughts.

TL: @obi-mom-kenobi, @poutysprouty, @oharasfilipinawife, @laysmt, @cicithemess, @unabashedcroissanttreefan, @lynxslokley, @thedevax, @generalkenobitrash, @keiva1000

[xuchiya]

"Chapter 2: Unexpected comfort" || kang yeosang [a mini-series]

|| next: chapter 3 || if you haven't read the previous chapter, here's the masterlist.

genre: non!idol yeosang. fluff. angst. violence. mentions: gun. knives. attempt murder/kidnapping. blood. anxiety attack.

"my lady as much as I want to drive that ... chariot as our runaway vehicle ... you're on your own."

"KANG YEOSANG?!"

After the meeting with Yeosang— your new personal bodyguard apparently— you return to your quarters, you were working as the next “Lady of De Villalobos Corporates' ', the one your grandfather bestowed to you after it was found written in his last will. 

By all accounts, your grandfather is the second to the last son of your great grandfather. It was given to him out of 4 other brothers and he is sure that he will take care of the corporations(which is indeed a successful one, a trading port of products from different country  and will be needing a new heir as your grandfather is reaching the retirement era), generation to the next generation—which is you. 

“Lady?” You were so deep in thought that NingNing’s hand made you shoot up slightly on your seat. You cleared your throat looking on your left to see her worried eyes, “Is there something bothering you?”

You shake your head and manage a small smile. “No, it’s nothing. I just can’t seem to wrap my head around the fact that I was chosen as the heir to De Villalobos Corporation.” She hums understandingly, exhales softly, “You shouldn’t be thinking too much about it, let it flow like water.”

“My eomma once said when she saw me worrying over nothing and overthinking the possibilities ‘cross the bridge when you get there’, that’s what she always tells me.” NingNing places a hand on top of your head, “So stop worrying and let’s go, you have to return back to the manor— your father is requesting for you.”  ruffling it slightly, making you snort, pushing her hand away gently, “Okay okay, grandma would not like it if I appeared hair dishevelled.” She chuckles, shaking her head, “She’ll have to get past you first then.”

“Honey, please come back here on Friday. You will be meeting your grandfather’s business partners—they would gladly meet the newest heir.” Your dad discussed, looking each paper in his hand without giving a second look on your distressed face. You nodded standing up on the seat, forcing a smile. “Of course, dad. I’ll be there.”

Deep down, you felt a pang of resentment. You knew this day would come eventually, but that didn’t make it any easier to swallow. The weight of expectations and obligations pressed heavily on your shoulders, yearning for a different path, yet you were bound by family duty. After the meeting in his private office on the manor, you stepped out of the room, your face a mask of calm composure. Your father’s office door clicked shut behind you, letting out a breath you didn’t realize you had been holding.

With the pressure from university then adding up to your family business is not the best combination to your health.

Yeosang heard you sigh by the door, his eyes trailed on your unusual hunch body. He had heard from Seonghwa about the duties of the two sisters— seeing it upclose on how this is a normal thing inside the family and he couldn’t help but feel his heart ache for the sisters—especially you. You're still young and still studying, you were into culinary yet the world of business overshadowed your dreams and so does your whole future.  

“Everything okay?” he asked gently.

You sighed, guard lowering in the safety of his presence. “It went as expected. I’ll be meeting Grandfather’s business partners on Friday.” Yeosang nodded, understanding the unspoken weight of your words. “I’ll be right by your side. Literally”

You laugh at his statement, his cheeks suddenly flaring in red hues—succeeding in making you laugh.

“Thank you, Yeosang.” “No problem my lady.”

It had been two weeks since Yeosang had started working under you as your personal bodyguard, and you were still adjusting to his presence. His quiet strength and keen attention to detail were both comforting and slightly disconcerting as you were never observed by another person aside from your aide. You both walked down the hallway together, side by side, steps in perfect sync. Outside, the evening air was cool and refreshing, a stark contrast to the stifling atmosphere of the meeting room—suffocating. They made their way to the garden, a quiet sanctuary away from the demands of your family.

Yeosang stopped by a bench under a blossoming cherry tree and gestured for you to take a seat. You sit down, noticing he is on guard, “On ease Yeosang. We’re inside the manor— it’s fully guarded.” 

Yeosang chuckles, shaking his head “It may be fully guarded my lady but it is still my duty to protect you from harm.”  

     The soft rustle of leaves and distant chirping of cricket create a peaceful backdrop, “Is it part of your job to risk yourself?”

It was a curious and out of nowhere question, you have grown up technically having three to four bodyguards surrounding you, even during your days in day-care at least one of your aides and one bodyguard is inside your classroom. Scaring a few of your classmates and parents complaining about it.

Then to your junior high, everyone picks on you instead of befriending you. Everyone did not like your title nor did everyone accept that you were an heir. No one in school was able to look you in the eye because of the tightness of the security you had— a guy once tried to give you a heart shaped chocolate box during valentines and he was investigated for 4 days until he was cleared.

Let’s say, he wasn’t able to look at you and totally avoided you.

College. After all those things happening to you, you accepted it. Waking up, going to school, collaborating with your blockmates if necessary inside the library and then leaving to work. The cycle repeats and it is starting to get boring.

One time you tried to escape, you were successful. It is a birthday party of one of your group mates and they were inviting you— for once you felt normal. You felt like a normal kid, you felt as if you were just a culinary student. It felt like you were living the life of a normal person.

“You know,” he said, breaking the silence, Yeosang paused, his gaze shifting to the ground as he contemplated your question. He knew the answer instinctively, but the weight of it was something he felt deeply every day. “It’s more than just a job.”

He began, his voice steady but reflective, “When I joined the academy, I took an oath. An oath to protect and to serve those people who are not just defenseless but need a shield after fighting for so long.” His eyes softly catches yours, taking you back from his answer.

“The moment I saw you in that car, you looked so carefree and let your guard down because you fell in a moment where you once felt alive.” Tears brim on the corner of your eyes, nose burning from the upcoming tears and your heart burning.

He moved to look at you better, “Risking myself? It’s part of that promise. It’s something I chose willingly, knowing the measurements of the danger out there. It’s not easy, no one said it is.”

You looked at him, her eyes searching for reassurance. “Is that why you wanted to be my bodyguard?”

Yeosang reached out and gently took her hand in his, his touch warm and steady. “No— your sister threatened me that she would break my limbs after she heard the report from Seonghwa-hyung of that night.”

Your mouth gaped open in disbelief, taking your hand from his and smacking him on the arm making him let out a chuckle. You continue smackign him until you huff and pout, “Way to ruin the sentimental moment Yeo.”

“I’m kidding!”

  After a while of joking around, you both fell into silence. The crisp wind of the night was calming and the stir of the conversation from your work to Yeosang’s antics, it was once again that feeling of being free,  “Thank you, Yeosang. Really.”

He smiled, “Always.”

For a moment, you both sat in comfortable silence, the world around you fading away. In that moment, you felt a glimmer of hope. With Yeosang by your side, maybe, just maybe, you could navigate and surpass each of these treacherous paths ahead.

And for that time, you felt at peace.

taglist: @yeosangsbabygirlsblog, @hi-kariii anyone to be part of the taglist?

[starsofarda]

I am going to pretend that an era of men has not passed, because time does not exist and my brain hamsters were hyperocusing on different stuff ANYWAY.

It's time I continued with the comparisons made by @tolkien-feels started in this post here: https://starsofarda.tumblr.com/post/699114521219973120/tolkien-feels

Today we are going to compare Lothlorien and Nargothrond.

Under cut!

LOTHLORIEN AND NARGOTHROND

Galadriel, sister of Finrod: Well if you can get inside my realm you're under my protection, but it's also entirely possible my guards will shoot you dead the second you cross into my land, so roll the dice - @tolkien-feels

Again we are going to establish what are these places, why they were built and who lived/lives there.

Boy oh boy, this is gonna be A LOT to unpack.

We are pretty much in the middle of the Siege of Angband and we can point at Ulmo for being the motus primum that started Finrod Felagund to look for a hidden place. Anyway, Finrod did bring with him his sister Galadriel and again I am not surprised that Galadriel did the same as her brother.

Anyway.

Finrod and Galadriel travel, meet up with Thingol who gives them directions for the Caves of Narog and Finrod, who very much is impressed with what Thingol did with Doriath, does the same with these caves.

He was helped by the Dwarves, eventually got his epithet of Felagund.

And honestly I think that Nargothrond was one of the best protected areas, but it fell due to what I would call hubris. And also inaction, never forget Orodreth The Useless.

There are also several cursed people happening, namely Turin Turambar, Beren and Luthien and two of Feanor's sons, namely Celegorm and Curufin.

And also Glaurung.

And I think the amount of people who contributed to Nargothrond's fall was what prompted Galadriel to build Lothlorien the way she did and guard it the way she did.

This is a bit of speculation, but maybe she thought that Finrod had been way too trusting, and that lead to his death and later to the fall of Nargothrond.

I mean, let us think of the people who dwelled in Nargothrond.

Curufin and Celegorm: exiled after the Dagor Bragollach, the moment they hear the word "Silmarillion" they stop using their brains and start channelling their inner Feanor.

Orodreth (the Useless), the one who literally fled Minas Tirith rather than facing Morgoth, the one who literally threw away the crown offered to him when Finrod went with Beren to Angband and had to be convinced.

Beren and Luthien only "passed by", but let us not forget that Celegorm kidnapped Luthien twice.

Turin Turambar: the Cursed One, responsible for building the bridge that ultimately contributed to the destruction of Nargothrond by Glaurung. Righteous, but he kills te wrong people all the time.

I guess that Galadriel, having seen and heard what happened to Nargothrond, did suffer like a minor to major PTSD in that sense, so when she finally got to Lothlorien I think her stream of consciousness went something like:

My brother finrod had the right idea

We need to improve on that tho

Too many people were there meddling in the Nargothrond

Yes, sure, people might be welcome, but also the moment I catch a whiff of bitch I am killing them, no questions asked

There should be a post about Galadriel and her very understandable trust issues, but I think I can link that to how Lothlorien was built.

That with the fact that Galadriel can see into people's minds* plays a lot in making Lothlorien absolutely impenetrable. With all of this I think I get why Galadriel's reputation outside of the elvish realm is not exactly positive.

And I am not sure that this all makes sense, but this is what I personally gather. Comments, suggestions and responses are more than welcome!

---

*well, this deserves a post on its own, but let me have this because I am not yet equipped to discuss semantics.

[theropoda]

...... i have. PRAWBLEMS. with the ending but honestly i felt very unwell and gross rn so i had difficulty focusing in the first place, maybe if i watch it again when i feel better ill feel different. under read more bc this got long lol

disclaimer before anyone GETS at me: i am not a critic. im literally just some guy watching a tv show, and i am really more confused than anything so if you really enjoyed the finale and feel like it was the perfect way for the show to end im happy for you! i don't have any intent on arguing it Absolutely Wasn't. this isn't a Hatepost. just me airing my thoughts. that are probably really incoherent bc again, i feel unwell ;_; brain is more focused on my stomach than this damn show

i knew how this was gonna end, i did watch the end of this show before, ive always been familiar w house because i watched episodes of it on tv as a kid with my mom and sister and knew major plot points like amber's death and wilson's cancer and house faking his death and everything but. the details were lost on me. now that i know the details something about them just doesn't jive with me and feel right.

probably related to my earlier post about how even in the final season so much of house is the same. he tried to change for the better but he was still back. i mean the entire premise of the show is about "the disabled addict doctor who struggles to be a person" so if any of these magically stopped being there that'd be stupid ESPECIALLY him being a disabled addict which are so central to his character. so im definitely not complaining about that.

initially i thought him faking his death was insanely reckless but what other choice was available. if he went, Hey, im here! im alive he'd absolutely be going to jail. in jail so far away while his best friend, maybe his only friend would be dying alone. of course he did that. his only choice was ttofake his death to be with wilson. throwing away his whole life and legacy and career and reputation to be with him.

hilson endgame real but also, while watching the whole show i kept going from "tumblr didn't lie these guys are gay" to "Tumblr may have oversold it a bit". but that might just be in the nature of its episodic structure. not e everything is abt wilson there's other people in house's lofe but in that final season everything does speed up, suddenly and become about wilson. which brings me to the whole cancer thing. in my memory of the show from watching it as a kid, Wilson's cancer came up as a plot point WAY earlier and there is much more time to discuss it in the show. to ponder and delve into it, what it means for wilson, for house, for the show. but actually watching the show it feels very sudden....! i felt like the entire cancer thing, which plays so damn heavily into the SERIES FINALE, wasn't explored enough...? it felt rushed. but it might feel like it because well there's a difference between watching a show as it comes out on a schedule vs binge watching it on demand.

and another thing that irked me is- but this is more of a "this personally makes me Feel Sad and Weird" as opposed to genuine criticism is how EVERYONE thinks house is dead except Two People. that's crazy. i have a Thing for closure and knowing things, the truth, im a little paranoid about that, but it just feels insane to me that house's own parents, family, former and current colleges, lovers, everyone... they all think he's dead when he's not. i see how that is, in terms of the Narrative, a good thing? house is truly FREE now. and if other people knew they'd probably call the police. but also that's just kinda horrifying.... I don't know. idk. also wtf cuddy wasn't there at the funeral? D: obviously i know how their last meeting went but they were such big part of each other's lives im rlly shocked she wasn't there! or even showed up at ALL in the ending scene where we see where everyone's life has headed, a little scene of her, Rachel, and someone new

and also. ._. how did that fire even start in the first place?..... did i miss something....? uaaaaah. i should watch it again

ugh but despite my peeves. i want to pass this off as Just another show ive watched, time to move on to the next, because a big part of the reason i started house and kept going and even chose to watch it at the times i did was because i have been going through some rough shit mentally for the past. entire year plus. i have relied on it to keep me distracted. i want to just move onto the next distraction but i have become so attached, it's hard to not feel :/ and :( about 1) the fact it's over now 2) it ended in a way that makes me feel funny, and not in a good way. aaaahhhhh.

[w1ngedsoul]

hi can you do headcanons on dating klaus mikaelson tvd x fem reader

Klaus is the kind of man to give you flowers, from roses to tulips he makes sure you're fully stocked on the newest bouquets.

You need a new pair of shoes? Already on your door step. Your phone's cracked? He's already browsing through shops.

Trust me, when I say Klaus spoils you take it literally.

Klaus is most definitely the clingy one out of you two, he always has a hand resting on your lower back or your hands are intertwined with each other.

When you first meet his siblings, Elijah is slightly skeptical of you but soon finds you great company and every Sunday you and him will discuss different books while classical music plays in the background.

Rebekah also took her time to get to know you, but once you were past that stage you got really close.

Often after Klaus has finished a painting, he'll go off in a search for you and find you getting ready to go out with Rebekah.

"Sister, what is this? I thought I told you to go find Marcel."

"Don't be jealous, Klaus. We all know your lover likes me more."

His siblings most definitely try and find you to resolve an argument or to convince you to pick their side.

"Klaus, you do realise they're having an argument on who you've daggered the most?"

"...It's Rebekah."

Cuddles are an important factor in the relationship.

Klaus will usually lay his head on your breasts or he'll have you snuggled into his neck.

Once, Rebekah snapped a picture of Klaus cuddling you during Christmas. You and Rebekah had to force yourselves not to laugh aloud but now there's a sacred photo of a peacefully sleeping Klaus on Rebekah's phone that she plans to use in their next argument...

This man is so fucking protective as if his life depends on it 😭

There was this one guy, let's call him Mike, he attempted to ask for your number at a dance while Klaus was getting you a drink. By the time Klaus had come back and saw Mike, be was no longer in a conversation with you as he was being dragged out of the building.

And then there was a time when a woman couldn't keep her eyes off of your breasts and she ended up with snapped neck.

"You didn't have to be so harsh, Klaus..."

"Nonsense, love. There's no such thing as harsh."

You and Klaus are constantly going on holidays, Klaus wants you to see the world and its beauty.

Once in Germany, you had asked him to buy you some shampoo and he ended up bringing back seven bottles explaining that he didn't know which one you wanted so he bought one of each.

Also in Tokyo, you had forgotten your favourite pair of heels so this man, like the king he is, went out and bought four new pairs.

Whenever you come home from a night out with friends, he's always there to hold back your hair and pass you aspirin.

This man takes full care of you 🫶

He's most definitely the type of person to say he loves horrors the most, but secretly loves watching sappy romance films.

10 things I hate about you, Titanic, The Notebook, Mamma Mia, Ps I love you, he's seen them all.

The amount of stories he has from different centuries is fascinating, you both lay in bed or on a sofa and share random experiences.

He'll tell you about Chicago in the 1920s, and that one time he had sex with Marie Antoinette in 1785...

Let's just say he's had his fair share of wild adventures throughout the years.

All in all, dating Klaus Mikaelson is fucking amazing.

[iwant-fuitgummi]

Inazuma Headcanons pt. 1!

(pt. 2 here)

Thoma Rothschild

he/him

25

Transgender Man, Bisexual

Dating Kamisato Ayato

Family: Sayu (FF Sister)

Best Friend: Kamisato Ayato

The surname I gave him, Rothschild, is a German surname that means "red shield."

Was best friends with Kaeya and Diluc as a kid. His mom worked at the Dawn Winery and even lived in one of the cottages there, so he was very close to them.

Sees Sayu as a little sister. He gives her food all the time, and even makes sure that the bedding in her favorite napping spots is clean and comfy.

He still teaches that cleaning class, but it's turned into more of a life skills class. He teaches people of all ages how to cook, clean, do laundry, count mora, buy things, book appointments, pay taxes...things like that. His class has a lot of teenagers in it now, since they have no idea how to pay taxes or bills and are gonna have to worry about it soon.

He's literally in love with Ayato it's ridiculous. His receiving love language is words of affirmation, and Ayato praises him ALL THE TIME.

His giving love language is acts of service, so he doesn't mind doing things for Ayato at all. Plus, his pay is amazing and he gets free housing.

Literally a big puppy. Always excited to help, extremely loyal, follows you around wherever you go, protects his loved ones, beloved by all...I love Thoma.

Thoma has braces on his arms. He lifts a lot of boxes, so his arms start to ache. That being said, Thoma is incredibly strong. He's pretty well built, and even acts as the Kamisatos' personal trainer.

He has PTSD. He fell overboard when he was visiting Inazuma. He has a terrible fear of the ocean and refuses to ride boats. He also gets seasick super easily. That's also part of the reason that he has an aversion to alcohol, since he was bringing wine to his father when he went overboard.

He also has ADHD. He always has to be doing something with his hands. Everything in the Kamisato estate has to be organized in a certain way or he'll get upset. (he just like me fr)

Hangs out with Itto a lot! Thoma taught Itto how to play chess, and Itto taught Thoma how to battle with Onikabutos :)

Kamisato Ayato

he/him

27

Cisgender Man, Gay

Dating Thoma Rothschild

Family: Kamisato Ayaka (Sister), Sayu (FF Sister)

Best Friend: Thoma

His love language is physical touch fr. Giving AND receiving. He loves getting hugs from Thoma since he's so damn warm. He gets hugs from Thoma when he's stressed.

Very light sleeper. Thoma soundproofed his room and bought him soundproof ear plugs, but he still wakes up at the slightest noise.

Gets super anxious when lying alone in bed. He wonders if Ayaka and Thoma are okay, if they're still alive, if something happened while he was trying to fall asleep. The sound of Thoma's breathing and the feeling of his heartbeat calms him down, though. Sleepy Thoma is white noise to Ayato. It helps him sleep.

He's tried to learn how to cook by watching Thoma, but why does he need to when Thoma's the best chef in all of Teyvat? (in Ayato's eyes, at least)

Plays cards with Itto all the time...and always wins. Loves hanging out with him due to the chaos that he brings everywhere. He even pays to bail him out of prison sometimes, giving the money to Shinobu as an "anonymous donation to the gang."

He's a bit autistic. He has a collection of dried flowers from all over Teyvat, as well as multiple books of all known dog breeds. He can tell you the common and scientific name of a flower just by looking at it, and knows everything there is about dogs.

He zones out at Tri-Comission meetings, especially since Kokomi has recently joined them to discuss diplomatic relations between Narukami and Watatsumi. He's very aware that Sara and Kokomi are secretly flirting by the way they speak to each other, so he just zones out until they actually start to talk business.

He has POTS, as well as chronic pain. Thoma has to accompany him to all of his meetings to ensure he doesn't pass out.

Kamisato Ayaka

she/her

21

Transgender Woman, Bisexual

Dating Naganohara Yoimiya

Family: Kamisato Ayato (Brother), Sayu (FF Sister)

Best Friend: Traveler

She's a makeup girlie to me so I gave her some. It's light, but it's there.

She often sneaks out of the Kamisato estate under the alias of Hiramatsu Fusae. She lets her hair down, does her makeup to change her face, and puts on some cheaper clothes. Fusae is a girl from Borou Village who is exploring beyond Watatsumi for the first time. Ayato knows about this, and doesn't do anything to stop her. In fact, he buys her outfits and makeup to help with this goal.

She first met Yoimiya as Fusae, but quickly told her who she really was when she realized she could trust her. From then on, the Naganoharas have been very close with the Kamisato Clan.

She buys clothes for Yoimiya all the time. Her love language is acts of service and giving gifts, so buying things for Yoimiya makes her extremely happy. In return, Yoimiya takes her to all kinds of firework shows, even making custom fireworks.

When she came out as trans, she chose the name Ayaka so she could match with her big brother.

Arataki Itto

he/they/she

26

Genderfluid, Bisexual

Dating Gorou

Family: Granny Oni (Grandmother), Kuki Shinobu (FF Sister), Akira (FF Brother), Genta (FF Brother), Mamoru (FF Brother), Takuya (FF Brother)

Best Friend: Naganohara Yoimiya

He's super tall and super buff. Using Kaeya (6'1") as a reference, he's about 7'2" in my head. That's about 2.184 meters for all you non-Americans out there. He's the only character I'll give a numbered height to because he SHOULD'VE BEEN BIGGER.

anyways uh

He goes to Watatsumi Island with Shinobu a lot. He spends the whole day with Gorou, being silly and hanging out. He tries to impress Gorou by picking up random heavy objects. It's never really that impressive, since Gorou's seen him do it so many times, but it's the thought that counts, y'know?

Itto and Yoimiya have competitions to see who the kids of Hanamizaka would rather play with. It's almost a perfect 50/50 split right now.

Yoimiya helps Itto with their "festivals" by providing them with free fireworks. They almost always get in trouble with Sara, but Itto always tells her that Yoimiya didn't know what they were using the fireworks for and takes all of the blame so that she doesn't get in trouble and tarnish the Naganohara reputation.

She still holds a grudge against Raiden for not taking her vision sooner. She's WAY too important for her vision to not be the first taken!

He hangs out at the Kamisato estate a lot, beetle fighting with Thoma, playing TCG with Ayaka, and TRYING to play chess with Ayato.

I don't have many other headcanons about Itto, he's perfect the way he is <3

Yae Miko

she/one

~33 (Physically), 500+

Agender, Lesbian

Married to Raiden Ei

Family: Wanderer (Son), Raiden Makoto (Sister in Law), Kirara (FF Daughter)

Best Friend: Sangonomiya Kokomi

I looked up Kitsunes and noticed they had red markings, so I gave her some in similar placements as the ones I saw. I also made her eye makeup more intense.

Her hibakama is full length now. I think more Genshin girlies need full length skirts and stuff, they're so pretty :(

Penpals with Kokomi! She reviews the stories that Koko sends her and sometimes asks if she can flesh out and publish them if they're good enough.

She has a class at the Narukami Shrine where she teaches young children how to read by using fortune slips. She's surprisingly good with kids.

tbh I'm still holding a grudge from the anti-Raiden Shogun training quest and that's all I can think about when I see Miko

Gorou

he/him

24

Cisgender Man, Asexual, Demiromantic, Panromantic

Dating Arataki Itto

Family: Sangonomiya Kokomi (FF Sister), Kirara (FF Sister)

Best Friend: Kaedehara Kazuha

idc what anyone else says I love ittorou. They send each other letters without knowing it's them. Then Itto asks Gorou what he thinks of Miss Hina and Gorou's like who. what. And then Itto shows him some of the letters Miss Hina sent him and Gorou's like ???!?!??!!???

Anyways uh

Gorou has a prosthetic hand. He lost his left hand in the war.

He has PTSD and awful survivor's guilt. When he sees Sara or any other members of the Shogunate, he has to calm himself down. Kokomi doesn't bring Sara to Watatsumi when Gorou's there.

He and Kazuha meditate together. It's hard for Gorou to sit still long enough, but he tries.

In my head, the outfit he wears is a casual fit. In war, he does NOT have his whole torso exposed. My guy isn't a dumbass.

There are 3 people who he lets touch his tail.

Shikanoin Sayu

she/they/it

12

Family: Shikanoin Heizou (Brother), Kamisato Ayato (FF Brother), Kamisato Ayaka (FF Sister), Thoma Rothschild (FF Brother)

Best Friend: Traveler

I don't know why but Sayu and Heizou being siblings is so real to me.

I tried to make her look even sleepier. Also I gave her a tan since she sleeps out in the sun 24/7.

The people at the Kamisato Estate see her as a little sister, which annoys her a bit. But she gets pampered a lot, so she doesn't completely mind.

Often helps Heizou on investigations. He solves them, she hunts them down.

They're a very picky eater. They mostly eat onigiri and katsu sandwiches that Heizou makes for them. They'll eat food from Thoma, but only specific kinds.

It doesn't like Yoimiya too much. It thinks she's too loud and disrupts its sleep. Ayaka promises that Yoimiya's just not used to it yet, but it doesn't care.

She has sensory issues with sounds and food textures. She hates fireworks.

Chills with Gorou when they're bored. They like to sleep on his tail and they're one of three people he'll let touch it.

It has Turner's Syndrome. She's 12, but is still the height of an 8-9 year old.

She also has ptosis and narcolepsy.

Sangonomiya Kokomi

they/she/he/mer

24

Demigender, Greysexual, Panromantic

Dating Kujou Sara and Kuki Shinobu

Family: Gorou (FF Brother)

Best Friend: Yae Miko

Kokomi and Sara enemies to lovers real. They were flirting the entire time they were fighting trust me.

They were really conflicted about their feelings for Sara when they first developed them. They talked to Gorou and Miko about it, unsure of what to do. Miko gave them some "follow your heart" bs and Gorou gave them actual advice (Miss Hina moment). Gorou said that, even though he hates Sara, they shouldn't hide from their feelings if they're really there. He then gave her some tips on how to ask her out (that he got from Miss Hina's fans). Gorou just wants them to be happy :(

After she asked out Sara, she found out that Sara was already dating Shinobu. But then, Shinobu approached Kokomi and asked how she felt about polyamory, and now the three of them are dating :D

When he's stressed, he'll grab a comb and find Gorou. He likes to brush his tail, the repetitive action helps him. He's one of the only people who're allowed to touch his tail.

Kokomi has a sensory deprivation tank in mer secret hideout. Mer feels the safest when mer is floating in the water, and a sensory deprivation tank is much safer than the open ocean. Mer built it all by merself, with a little bit of help from Shinobu.

This is canon, but they are penpals with Miko. They love sending each other their favorite books. Kokomi occasionally drafts some stories and sends them to Miko so she review and edit them.

Autism, 100%. She hyperfixates over books in her hideout for days. Gorou has to remind her that she has priestess things to do, but he'll sometimes just carry out the job for her when she's really into something.

Shinobu and Itto visit Watatsumi a lot to visit their respective lovers, and Shinobu sometimes enters Koko's hideout while he's sleeping. She makes sure to put a blanket or her jacket over his shoulders before returning to the shrine to supervise Itto. Kokomi then wakes up with Shinobu's jacket and the most well rested mind in the world.

Mer occasionally goes down to Enkanomiya and just...exists. No worries, no pressure, just mer and the Vishaps. There was no war. Mer people are safe. Everything is okay.

She's slowly losing her hearing. She's had difficulty with it her entire life, but the war made it worse.

Kujou Sara

she/he

27

Bigender, Lesbian

Dating Sangonomiya Kokomi and Kuki Shinobu

Family: Kujou Clan

Best Friend: Kuki Shinobu

Sara has the BIGGEST celebrity crush on Ei it's crazy. Like whenever she sees her she just freezes up and has to like. Reboot her brain.

He asked Shinobu out because he'd seen her around the police station scolding Itto. Pretty girl with an authoritative attitude who's yelling at a criminal? How could he not fall in love? The two started hanging out, and Sara eventually (very awkwardly) asked her out. Surprisingly, Shinobu agreed. And then, one day, Shinobu asked Sara how he felt about polyamory, and then boom! New girlfriend! Kokomi!

She gets SOOO flustered when they're both around. Like. Sara trying to train but her girlfriends are watching? Sara trying to arrest someone but her girlfriends are whispering to each other how hot she is? Nah. Sara's brain shuts off, her wings pop out, and her face turns bright red. It doesn't help that Koko and Shinobu giggle a bit when that happens.

He's tried to talk to Gorou, to apologize for everything he'd done to him, to tell him how much he admires him and his strength, but he never can. Gorou panics and makes up an excuse to leave as soon as he sees Sara. So, Sara writes down every thought he has about Gorou and gives them to Kokomi. He then has Koko deliver these letters to Gorou anonymously, with Sara's name being at the very end so Gorou doesn't know it's him until he's already read everything.

Raiden Ei

she/one

~34 (Physically), ~3000

Agender, Asexual, Lesbian

Married to Yae Miko

Family: Wanderer (Son), Raiden Shogun (Daughter), Raiden Makoto (Sister), Nahida (FF Daughter)

Best Friend: Yae Miko

Not gonna lie guys, I don't think about Raiden too much. I also don't have her, so I don't really have a handle on her as a character. Okay. Now moving on.

Serious RBF. Like. Never smiles unless you make her laugh. She doesn't even realize it, either (it's The Autism)

Spends a lot of time in her own head, both metaphorically and literally. She'll sometimes just zone out and enter the Plane of Euthymia, and it just looks like she's staring into space like a cat.

Speaking of cats, she has one! She's a Turkish Angora named Keiko :3

Miko sometimes turns into her fox form and sits on Ei's lap with Keiko.

yes i know ei is a dog person but idc!!! my best friend is a cat person and she has two dogs. ei's just too busy for a dog right now :(

She and Zhongli send each other old person postcards. Venti sometimes intercepts them using the wind and laughs at them before sending them on their way.

She love love loves Nahida. She sees her as a daughter and makes sure to check up on her regularly.

[skylarmoon71]

Leonardo (TMNT 2014/2016) - Chapter 3

You and Leo had this unspoken agreement.

It feels like he'd long given up on trying to change your views. Either that or he was using a more passive approach. Whenever you saw him the conversations were casual. More steered towards personal interests or goals. Maybe it was a figment of your imagination, but sometimes his eyes would linger on you just a little longer when you showed up after long stretches of time. He knew that you operated out of the country. As much as he didn't agree with your lifestyle, he couldn't exactly stop you.

"I told Vincent about our meetings."

He expected some kind of reaction. Possibly a look of betrayal. But you just smile.

"You're loyal, but fair. Otherwise you wouldn't be standing here telling me. I'd be getting ambushed by cops right about now. Instead you're warning me." Leo shook his head.

"I would never tell them about this place." The sentiment is nice.

"Your family probably thinks I'm a monster."

"They don't." You scoff. But when you look at him, his face holds no lies. He's not trying to offer you little comforts.

"They understand what you do. Even though we don't agree, they understand. I'm not exactly sure who you lost or how. But I understand. "

It's possible that he can read you because of the tight bond he has with his brothers. He knows that if something were to happen to any of them, then he's not sure what route he would take to avenge them. The same way you seem to be doing right now."

"My sister." Leo's eyes lift.

"I lost my sister." You confess.

"I thought so."

It all came down to family at the end of the day.

"I just wanted to ask for a favor." Leo says.

"I'm listening."

He looks resolved, and it's a bit worrying.

"If anything were to ever happen to me, would you look out for my family." He knows he has no right to ask such a thing, but this part of him would never stop being protective. Your mind goes back to a case he'd been discussing. It must be the reason behind his request. The thought of harm coming to Leo triggers some very unsettling feelings.

"Nothing is going to happen to you. You're way too stubborn for that." Leo smiles.

"I guess you're right."

"Of course I am."

That was the last conversation you had before you went on your two week trip to Vermont to eliminate a serial rapist who was taking pleasure in the pain he caused his young victims. Maybe if he'd been the least bit apologetic you would have handed him over to the police. You weren't a monster. Contrary to popular belief, hurting people was a last resort for you. You'd dealt with situations where some of them didn't have a choice.

But this man, he'd taken you as his victim. At least he thought so. He hadn't truly realized that he was actually the prey. When he'd driven you back to his place, you played the role too. Even confronted him. Instead of the apology you were hoping to get from him when he realized you were in control, he laughed in your face and bragged about all the pain he would cause when he eventually got out of prison. He was rich and influential. His lawyers would pay off the victims and the hurt would continue. So you did what you had to do. Even when he was staring down the barrel of a gun he mocked you. That was the first time you had to close your eyes as you did it. You should have been unaffected. He was a literal monster. Yet you felt pain. 

Actual grief.

It's then you concluded that Leo's influence was actually having an effect on you. More than you realized.

You'd intended to see him, maybe his face would give you some peace or solace. The news of your most recent mission spread like wildfire. You had no doubt Leo would confront you about it. But that night when you got back, he was nowhere to be found.

It wasn't strange. He had responsibilities. No flags were going off in your head.

Not until three days passed and there was still no word.

That's when you went on a deep dive.

To your surprise there had been over three minor robberies in the neighborhood. You knew better than to ignore that. Leo was too much of a foot soldier to let innocent people get taken advantage of that way. That's why when you walked right into the precinct, and officers led you to Vincent's office, you could tell she was stunned. The door closed, and instinctively, her hand moved to her waist, right next to her gun.

"You must be pretty ballsy to walk right into my precinct. " She looked pissed, you didn't blame her.

"Where is he?"

"Who exactly are you referring to?" Vincent hissed.

"I'm not here to play games. If I wanted to kill you I had a lot of opportunities. I could have done it at that grocery store with your favorite ice cream brand. Maybe the golfing club that your husband plays at every Monday and Thursday." You could see the fear cross her face.

"I don't expect you to understand what I do. I don't want your understanding or pity. I could care less about harming you or anyone you care about. I only go after people that deserve to be in the ground. All I want right now is to find out who took Leonardo."

Her body was still pretty tense, but she lowered her hands. Eyes falling in defeat. It's clear that she realized that at this moment you were an asset. She ran a hand through her hair.

"I can't believe this. I should be arresting you."

"You can, but that won't help Leonardo."

You were right. She knew that. Vincent grabbed a folder, flipping it open and you moved closer, taking it from her hands.

"Last week we were chasing some leads about a company trying to import more of that green ooze that created the boys in the first place. The mutagen that caused their transformation. We thought that we'd gotten all of it and had it destroyed, but we were wrong. A scientist got his hands on what remained from the last little showdown. Leo and the others were ambushed and they took him. "

You tracked every bit of information you could from what was in front of you.

"We have lists of multiple locations. We've raided a half dozen of them and confiscated toxic waste. But there's no sign of Leonardo. I'm running out of ideas and his brothers are..they're scared. For all we know he could be dead." She looks shaken by the thought.

"You actually care about him." Vincent's face twisted.

"Of course I do!!"

"I thought you were just using him for your agenda." Vincent huffed when you placed the folder down.

'I don't have to explain myself to a killer."

"Call me what you want, I'm going to get him." Vincent's brows are knitted.

"What are you talking about?" Her eyes looked down on the image you'd stopped on. It was a company that worked on the outskirts of the city.

"He's at that company. The facts point to that location. From the lack of scribbles I'd guessed that's one that you haven't raided yet." She took the image.

"We haven't.."

"He's there. Whatever he has in his veins they want from what you just told me. Those buildings have electrical links to circuits outside the city. That means they have a power source that'll give them access to do as they please without so much as a peep. "

She didn't want to admit it, but you were right.

"I'm going to get him." You were turning to leave.

"W-Wait! You can't just run in there. We need probable cause, and a warrant. "

"You do. I'm not a cop. If Leo is there, I'll cut down who I have to. His safety is the only thing I care about." As heartless as you were trying to make yourself seem. She could see it on your face.

"It sounds like I'm not the only one who cares about him." You gripped the handle of the door.

"You should hurry up and grab your warrant Lieutenant. Cause I'm going to light that place up." You exited after those words, and Vincent just released a heavy sigh as she pulled out her phone, dialing a number.

"Yeah, we got a lead. How soon can you all meet me?"

Leo may not realize it, but he had an entire army coming to save him.

[despairohhi]

Dumping Juice Aisle and Juicy Box lore cause I'm that insane with a movie I should be done with, but somehow not

Its eating me alive, that and add more of my ideas since this is the sin hole of what this is about.

Okay, so I felt like discussing about is the Juice Box's lore. Because yes. I'll be talking about the aisle, but will literally extract all stereotypes because why movie, why Seth Rogen, and why edgy 2016 humour. Also why standard adult animation.

So to start off, let’s talk about the Juice Aisle. They all range from small juice boxes to large cartons on the shelf, they are mostly the most tame aisle. That in belief, they see their gods as potential found family to give them better comfort. Most of them wanting sensual and platonic desire, to be in complete harmony from a rather touched starve and sexually starved environment. At least how most of them felt, being absolutely keen to comfort.

They are most to be kind, reasonable, and try to make more assertive approaches while still following guidelines of the Great Beyond, in order to meet their potential home.

Juicy ( our grape juice box ) is like many others of his kind. Though, he’s often very passive and a little anxious compared to others. Out of many, this is due to not having as many interactions between his kind, and he was given that much attention after being put on the shelf.

This could be done to total purity, that Juicy wasn’t rough edged and certainly lacked desired skills to defend himself and others. You could say this man’s purity makes him incapable to adjust to vulgar language, notably swears.

But he was never completely alone. He eventually resonated with another juice box who he refers as his sister. An apple juice box named Cherry would begin talking to him once the other juice boxes were taken off the shelf. Cherry was a more outgoing and very direct person, certainly quite upbeat and take assertive actions when necessary.

She was awfully charismatic, and showed kindness to all those times Juicy needed someone to talk to. Waiting for a god to finally choose him. They were sorta like direct opposites, but her presence was all the more welcome.

One night, when eventually all the dark lords ( just the Shopwell Staff ) and no other gods in sight. The two eventually broke a guideline to wander during nightfall and explore what they could in different places, not just the aisles for their curiosity.

It felt wrong to do this, but Cherry insist they won’t get caught as long they were careful. And weren’t too too far away. While he doubts it, her assurances were always promised. Cherry was incredible in her own way, and had never made Juicy’s life this better in a while. He eventually hoped he could be in the great beyond with her, whenever that time comes.

but again, he even liked wandering through the aisles at night. It was nice change of scenery. But of course, everything wasn’t going to be the same. A god had chosen Cherry, after the long night they had with the possibility of leaving Shopwell one day. Since that sale sticker went up on their shelf.

he vividly remembered her last words to him, wishing him the happiness he deserved and told him he was more strong than he believes. To never give up his life.

his kind had celebrated all their chosen ones that day, and wished them the best lives they may ever have. But Juicy could only feel sadness, losing the only closest thing to family he had ever gotten. Wishing things could be different, but with an optimistic thought, he’ll get there and see how much better things will get.

well, they certainly weren’t better than imagined. The nearly empty cardboard box Juicy rested on was flown to the very end of the shelf, as new cartons of Juice boxes were set in the front, blocking all the light into the back of the very dark shelves.

He tried to encourage himself to interact with all these new faces, but they had little interests him in. Funny enough, it seemed the entire aisle had forgotten about him again when he was stuck in the dark. Collecting dust and counted the days he witnessed. From all the card broad boxes being nearly empty, telling himself to hop on, but couldn’t, and then when they were empty, they get refilled to the front again without checking behind to see Juicy.

That’s when he believed he had truly been neglected, just…there. Being something. He wanted to hear Cherry’s voice, he wanted her to talk to him, he really wanted her to stay but now she couldn’t come back. His days becoming more lonely. He just can’t seem to bring himself up, could he?

He continued to sneak out at night, walk around, going a little farther out and tied to clear his mind. But something deep always occupying him. But it wasn’t like they noticed.

Before the day of Red, White and Blue day. Juicy was still on the dusted, empty card broad box he was staying on. Becoming so normalized to stay here for days. Eventually a hand reached onto the shelf, extending further to grab Juicy.

He couldn’t believe it! A god had chosen him, which meant one thing…he was going to see the Great Beyond. Cherry! The only name to pop into his head, now becoming a possibility to finally see Cherry again with a new luck of hope spreading over him.

He was prepared to leave the place, and couldn’t help but admired this god had chosen him. A god that wanted him. It was surreal. Awaiting to feel the small comforts he had desperately needed for so long, it felt too long since he’s been stuck here. He felt at ease for the first time in months!

oh what a cruel twist of fate he thought was a gift.

He expected to head out to those big golden doors, but instead his god took him to a much more darken, somber place that reeked of unpleasant environments and smell. He had noticed the uniform, maybe it was a different exit? When he felt the straw got detached, which had been bothering him quite some time. He believed the god would discard it as a noticeable discomfort, an unnecessary straw that meant no person.

What Juicy was never informed was that this straw was more twisted than it appears. In a second, he felt pain on top of his head, the straw had jabbed onto his head. His stomach dropped and made him froze, the fear of his mind becoming more panicked. The next thing he didn’t process was the pressuring force going through the straw. That the god was drinking out of him!

His mind scarred and wandering with thoughts, believing the gods were generous and caring. But this one was about to drain him to death! Until they spit out, gagging out the juice they drank out of him. Seeing pure disgust being displayed as they spit out the most hurtful words to hear yet.

He was expired. That he should’ve been put on clearance or take to the trash in months back. This same being that nearly killed him, had never made him feel so little and discouraged. It’s like no one wanted him, no one left to receive the love and kindness he needed to make the rest of his life worth something.

He was wrong, and his kind were wrong about everything to the outside world. Last thing remembering to being dropped, and felt something horribly scratch the lower part of his body.

Honestly, I might build up more and talk about an Juiche AU. Kind of their own journey if Juicy’s life was spared, and Douche having other things in mind. Of course extracting and adding SO many better elements.

honestly I feel like I’m picking out a background mlp pony character to literally make shit up, that only served very little purpose or short amount of screen time. I didn’t mind the Juice box’s design, it’s pretty solid even though we’re left with…yeah, that scene. For as long as I could remember, This is feeling a little more original than what the source material wishes it could innovate to be ( not really, it feels separate out of the source material since no human being is after them and only end up killing a bunch of foods under unwanted circumstances.)

But none that I’m looking at this. Best to shave these other thoughts for another day, I built up some good concepts and headcanons I have in mind. So enjoy whatever I just felt like writing.

[nalanzu]

Episode 19: Sehen - prelude to insanity

So 21 months later in the Real World but like, a week later in Weiss Time, we open on a crying girl who falls to her knees screaming. We then cut to a teenage boy listening to music, who also starts screaming as he loses his mind and flings himself from a second floor window.

I cannot in all honesty quibble with the episode title card's claim that seeing is the first step to losing one's goddamn mind.

Moving on, the flowershop delivery van is bringing arrangements to a theater. Incidentally, Aya knows way too much about being backstage, and Omi is far too cheerful about his claim that the warren of hallways and doors backstage mean that a fire breaking out would murder everyone in the building to death. I don't remember this episode ending in arson, and now I'm annoyed that this isn't foreshadowing.

Inside the theater, they find Sakura. You remember, the teenage girl, the high school student, the one that bears an eerie resemblance to Aya's little sister, Aya. (Who was kidnapped recently, as we recall.) Omi, that little rat bastard, immediately finds somewhere else to be with the air of doing Aya a favor.

Sakura tells Aya how she was trying to see him, repeatedly, but he was never at the shop when she went. Aya, facing the other way, says he wasn't avoiding her, and also tries to avoid agreeing to meet with her.

In a Dark Basement, a mad scientist type sits typing music into a computer. He is of course approached by Schwarz - Crawford. The two of them have some evil banter about how the composer's music will capture everyone who hears it instead of just half, before having a bit of a tiff as Crawford refers to the music as an experiment and the composer snaps that it's "sound art." Y'all are both just psychopaths.

It's the next scene where I feel the episode starts to veer off the rails - Omi and Yohji are discussing the relationship (or lack thereof) between Aya and Sakura. Omi is shipping them hard, because Sakura has some Very Big Feelings and it's rude of Aya to ignore them. Yohji, on the other hand, feels it's perfectly reasonable for Aya to be worried about his missing sister and also that Omi needs to find someone to bang instead. He points at a random high school girl wearing headphones, who - surprise surprise - starts screaming before running into traffic.

Very handy for them to see This Episode's Plot Device in person. To be fair, depending on how many people are listening to this particular CD, it is perhaps not statistically unlikely. On the other hand, one would think if it were that many people, someone besides Kritiker would sit up and take notice.

Back at the flowershop, our four assassins share some weirdly light-hearted banter about dead teenagers, including Ken teasing Yohji for not being able to understand a woman's heart and Yohji pointing out, again, that he does not want to fuck children. It is at this point, with spectacular timing, that Sakura walks into the shop and the entire team encourages Aya to go have a romantic rendezvous with the jailbait. Literally all of them. When he clearly wants nothing to do with her.

The Aya and Sakura conversation involves Sakura pushing Aya as to how he's related to girl!Aya, and when he reveals that it's his little sister, Sakura tells Aya she's in love with him. Aya very clearly tells Sakura that he does not return her feelings. Repeatedly. Sakura points out that he entrusted her with his sister, and wonders if she was just conveniently there or if it was because she looks like his sister, and also she thinks he's up to something besides the flowershop work. It's a clumsy monologue, clearly hinting at Sakura seeing Behind The Veil, so to speak. (This is, in fact, foreshadowing.) Aya attempts to shut it down multiple times before literally getting up and leaving. However, he throws out this gem before walking out the door: "I don't deserve to be loved by anyone."

There. There is so much to unpack here and we're only halfway through the episode.

Meanwhile, Omi is sadly watching from across the street. Omi is a bit of a creeper. Sakura, however, thinks Omi is an appropriate confidant and apparently relays the entire conversation.

After the commercial break, we apparently have a bit of a timeskip ahead to Yohji, Ken, and Omi in the flowershop talking about how Sakura hasn't been around "since then." Yohji and Omi think Aya was a cold asshole. Ken says he understands where Aya is coming from. In theory, one could infer that Ken was having a bit of empathy. I strongly suspect, however, that this is not actually the case, because it is not Dramatic enough.

Meanwhile, the news is playing a story about a suddenly violent individual. The viewer, of course, immediately understands that the composer in cahoots with Schwarz has finished his next piece. Weiss, on the other hand, are shocked and appalled. The news mentions that hundred(s?) of young people have been running amok. Ken, our adorable Captain Obvious, realizes it is Not A Coincidence.

We have cut back to Sakura, who is failing at track and field. Because she is Sad. Also, Aya is stalking her, via the very conspicuous flowershop delivery scooter. JFC.

Omi, having remembered the one screaming girl had headphones in, is apparently the only person to put togther the clue that all the people going berserk were listening to music. IDK how, but he is. He decides they need a copy of the CD, so instead of BUYING ONE, they go stalk one of the victims' families and steal it.

Then, in a stunning display of self-preservation and good judgment, Omi PLAYS THE CD where they can all hear it. Aya and Omi are unaffected. Ken and Yohji shortly begin to scream. Omi, with nothing more than a 90s computer, figures out how the music works on the brain. (I cannot help but feel that one would need a lot more information, a lot more equipment, and a wider pool of test subjects to make this determination.) Am also not sure how Omi determines there's no permanent brain damage to Ken and Yohji, but here we are.

Birman appears to give Weiss their mission, as they have been Investigating and know who composed the music. This may or may not have been down to some very basic detective work, given that these are CDs that are literally sold in stores. Birman tells Weiss they have to murder the composer before he plays his new song in front of 50,000 people. Meanwhile, I wonder if anyone has ever heard of soundcheck.

Weiss do make a very dramatic group in their Assassin Clothes at the venue. Backstage. In suspiciously empty hallways that suddenly produce Schreient. Shenanigans ensue. Said shenanigans, however, do have a banger soundtrack. Seriously, the music in this show is so good. Nothing ELSE is, ok, but goddamn.

Schreient is foiled by some dart-assisted metal grates while Weiss rushes to stab a guy to death on a stage in front of, again, fifty thousand spectators. As he is not yet on stage, our Villain of the Week decides he will protect himself from the oncoming assassins (and how does he know they're coming...?) by playing his new song. Of course, it has a Dramatic Effect on everyone around him. Not, however, on Weiss, as they are wearing earplugs. Clever boys.

I was not kidding about Stab To Death, by the way. Aya gets the kill this week.

He is, of course, for maximum effect, witnessed by Sakura. He is remarkably sanguine about the fact that this random teenager knows he's a murderer and doubles down on the reason he can't return her feelings being that he does not deserve to be loved. This concludes the episode.

There are a few themes I want to explore here; the sound-as-a-weapon is a solid B plot (and it IS the B plot), although it's not particularly well fleshed out. I love a good non-traditional mass murder method, and this one is usually pretty fun. The extremely convenient timing of Kritiker's investigation and Weiss basically stumbling into the solution to the mystery are quite clunky and contrived, but that's partly a flaw of the medium itself and partly because the majority of the screentime and emotional weight of this episode have been given over the the main plotline.

Aya and Sakura, both of whom need a good smack upside the head with a brick.

Sakura has been pushing and pushing at Aya while he clearly says he's not interested. She's been imposing on Weiss in general and Aya specifically since her introduction, and the narrative continues to paint her in a sympathetic light. Much of this sympathy is generated by the rest of Weiss cheerleading the relationship on because of the intensity of Sakura's emotions. At no point does any character seem to understand that Sakura's feelings do not entitle her to any part of Aya and that she needs to put it back in her pants or that this clear and obvious harassment is in fact not acceptable behavior.

I don't say this to bash Sakura, who is acting very much like a teenager. I do side-eye the writers. Sakura is clearly an audience stand-in with whom we are meant to sympathize; we are meant to feel her pain when Aya rejects her. And that's valid! It's not inappropriate for her to shoot her shot... once. It's the fact that she does not take no for an answer that crosses a line. It's that Aya's FRIENDS seem to think that Sakura's feelings entitle her to his time and his person, and how they have zero concept of a boundary. No means no, guys, and doing something your friend expressly says he does not want because you think it's for his own good is incredibly fucked up. This is bad and they should feel bad. The narrative, however, thinks they are absolutely correct in this course of action, as evidenced by the reasoning behind Aya's refusal of Sakura's feelings.

Aya, on the other hand, is playing the victim. He does terrible things, and then very publicly expresses self-hatred in an obviously manipulative bid for sympathy. "I don't deserve to be loved." My dude, if you truly feel this way, there are two course of action which need to be taken. Yes, both of them. One is therapy. The other is to stop murdering people to death.

By painting the rest of Weiss as correct for continuing to push Sakura at Aya, this specific storyline is furthering some very harmful ideas - that emotions entitle one to someone else, that ignoring someone's stated wishes in order to "help" them is the right thing to do, and that being flamboyantly upset about a problem you have created is somehow the mark of a tragic hero.

Apparently Weiss has no concept of a healthy boundary.

.....and somehow I still love this terrible show. FML.

[theblogofruth]

"The Dead Husbands." From the Book of Ruth 1: 8-10.

So long as the Moabites, the traditions kept by the synagogue and the state promote friendliness and pleasantness we have room to evolve. If a popular fad like Pro-Life, for example, which is illegal anyway turns society upside down and pisses people off, we change the tradition and look ahead.

We continue to dig into ways to implement the Shoftim in the Book of Ruth, "The Assistant Vision". Now we discuss a girl's best friend, a dead husband:

8 Then Naomi said to her two daughters-in-law, “Go back, each of you, to your mother’s home. May the Lord show you kindness, as you have shown kindness to your dead husbands and to me.

9 May the Lord grant that each of you will find rest in the home of another husband.” Then she kissed them goodbye and they wept aloud 10 and said to her, “We will go back with you to your people.”

There are, surprise, rules in the Torah about dead husbands, "dead beliefs." The Number for a dead husband is 360, גו‎אֶפֶס, goeps, "dread over the way the hands, feet, and roots are going, the trunk may follow" = "a nation that is in mourning."

If you take away a woman's husband you have to provide her with mandrakes= enough boy booty for a Mormon compound...From Vayetzei:

15 But she said to her, “Wasn’t it enough that you took away my husband? Will you take my son’s mandrakes too?” “Very well,” Rachel said, “he can sleep with you tonight in return for your son’s mandrakes.” 16 So when Jacob came in from the fields that evening, Leah went out to meet him. “You must sleep with me,” she said. “I have hired you with my son’s mandrakes.” So he slept with her that night.

Mandrakes are "love bringers", which according to the Book of Job must be made of gold. If it's not gold, it doesn't belong in Fort Knox, people...

"Unused verb דוד (dwd) probably meant to gently swing, dandle, fondle. Noun דוד (dod) or דד (dod) means beloved or loved one, and may also describe one's uncle. The feminine version, דודה (doda), means aunt. Noun דודי (duday) literally means a "love-bringer" and describes a mandrake. Noun דוד (dud) refers to a kind of pot or jar (perhaps one that was rocked or stirred?).

It may or may not be that the noun יד (yad), meaning hand, also has something to do with this root."

Unless one really falls in love, one cannot possibly understand the meaning of life or the Torah or any of its offshoots.

SO Leah, the Leader seduces the follower using the virtues named in the Torah, which are to be found and wielded by women in the field as expertly as with the men. We don't know if Eve was in love with Adam or not, he was Mr. Right Now, so it's possible she was not. The rest of the Torah, which has many love stories in it AKA the Mandrakes have a lot more to say about men, women, and each other.

2. If a woman is unmarried a dirty man will do. From Emor:

21 The Lord said to Moses, “Speak to the priests, the sons of Aaron, and say to them: ‘A priest must not make himself ceremonially unclean for any of his people who die, 2 except for a close relative, such as his mother or father, his son or daughter, his brother, 3 or an unmarried sister who is dependent on him since she has no husband—for her he may make himself unclean. 4 He must not make himself unclean for people related to him by marriage,[a] and so defile himself.

--> The Sons of Aaron are Nabab "vanity, to pierce" and Abbihu "He is my father": "Pierce the doubt in God's Image."

The closest relatives to these are Eleazar and Ithamar, "God has helped me with my big fruitful tree."

People who die lose their ego selves in the Fire of the Temple, and one must never touch the dead UNLESS the person is dependent on the influencer for further development.

Then one can intercourse and marry with said influencer. Nobody is perfect, some people will never even be close.

If vanity is keeping marriage of the Traits from happening, strike the vain person down. If humility is available, the person and his influencer will prosper.

3. The Main Office on a dead husband and an unmarried girl comes from Ki Setzei:

5 If brothers are living together and one of them dies without a son, his widow must not marry outside the family. Her husband’s brother shall take her and marry her and fulfill the duty of a brother-in-law to her. 6 The first son she bears shall carry on the name of the dead brother so that his name will not be blotted out from Israel.

->This does not refer to strange shoes and bizarre ceremonies for marrying a barren widow with a broken hip. It means just because we have Reuben but no longer have Simeon, "Leadership but not Rule of Law" does not mean we stop working at it. Without continuity of faith and practice, civil society ends:

From Vayishlach:

30 When Rachel saw that she was not bearing Jacob any children, she became jealous of her sister. So she said to Jacob, “Give me children, or I’ll die!”

2 Jacob became angry with her and said, “Am I in the place of God, who has kept you from having children?”

7 However, if a man does not want to marry his brother’s wife, she shall go to the elders at the town gate and say, “My husband’s brother refuses to carry on his brother’s name in Israel. He will not fulfill the duty of a brother-in-law to me.” 8 Then the elders of his town shall summon him and talk to him. If he persists in saying, “I do not want to marry her,” 9 his brother’s widow shall go up to him in the presence of the elders, take off one of his sandals, spit in his face and say, “This is what is done to the man who will not build up his brother’s family line.” 10 That man’s line shall be known in Israel as The Family of the Unsandaled, meaning he will walk the earth without victory over Egypt.

11 If two men are fighting and the wife of one of them comes to rescue her husband from his assailant, and she reaches out and seizes him by his private parts, 12 you shall cut off her hand. Show her no pity.

->This is probably just what it sounds like, but the underlying meaning has to do with why Jacob and the angel wrestled and he sprained his thigh.

“A man wrestled with him until dawn broke.” The contest lasts for hours on end. They grapple with each other,6 casting up dust7 all the way up to the divine throne.8 The angel realizes that he cannot overpower Jacob, so he “touches [Jacob’s] thigh” and dislocates it.

As dawn breaks, Esau’s angel must join his colleagues to sing to their Creator."

= Beliefs, the providence of the male gender must be practiced in reality and beliefs change as one ages. A woman without beliefs is a pariah, a man without an Israeli way of life is also a pariah.

Chief amongst these and why we are discussing it so early in the Book of Ruth is sexuality must be friendly, it can be casual and mean nothing but it must take place among persons who are friendly with each other, the ritual, whatever its mandrake must not violate the laws in the Torah. Neither a woman nor a man can have a dead husband failure to believe in or fulfill one's fantasy bonfire romance even if it just changes life but does not endure all of one's life. There is always next time.

One could presume Ruth, "friendly assistance" is one of the Mandrakes that will help.

The Values in Gematria are:

v. 8: Go back to your mother's home. Leah was a big huge whore. Be like your mom. The Number is 12351, יבגהא‎ ,‎yabagha, "this one will betray you."

v. 9-10: May the Lord grant that each of you will find rest in the home of another husband.

The subject matter of Ruth is similar to the Shoftim, "good taste" which is helped by good judgement, but unlike the former, good taste is a kind of talent. It can be learned but there must be an instinct. Unfortunately none of these occur without a few tests of time. Time has ups and downs, births, deaths, marriages, divorces, empty nests and remarriages.

The Number is 12170, יבא‎‎ע‎, yaba, "your wish, your want, your desire."

Hidden in the bedrock of the complex issue of what to do about a dead husband is to know betrayal when one sees it coming and to pursue one's wish, which for all Jews is called Shabbos.

Shabbos, cure for a dead husband is just not possible on one's own:

"There are two distinct roots of the form שבע (sb') in the Bible. However, when the Masoretes began to mark the text of the Bible with vowel notations (and they started doing this about a thousand years after the Bible was written in its final form), they made one group of שבע (sb')-words sound like sh-words, and the other group like s-words.

The result is one group of words that are related to the verb שׁבע (shaba'; dot to the right), and one group of words that are related to the verb שׂבע (sabea'; dot to the left). But remember that to the people who wrote the Bible, and for the first thousand years of its existence, there was no difference between the two:

The marvelous root שבע (sb'; now spelled as שׁבע, shb', and pronounced with a sh) splits two ways in meaning, or rather: lends its numerical meaning curiously to the act of taking an oath:

This root's primary derivative is the feminine noun שבעה (shib'a), denoting the ordinal seven. Our word is used as a number, in combination with other numbers, and in combination with the words מאה (me'a, meaning hundred) and אלף ('elep, meaning thousand) to form the numbers 700 and 7000 respectively. The common plural שבעים means 70. In Job 42:13 occurs the variant שבענה (shiba'na), which has an unexplained inserted letter nun.

This feminine noun's masculine counterpart is the noun שבע (sheba'). The masculine version also means seven but isn't really used unbound. Instead, it occurs mostly in one-word combinations and constructions (and names):

The masculine version of seven, שבע (sheba'), in plural: שבעים (shib'im) means 70 (Genesis 5:12, Exodus 24:1).

The feminine version of seven, שבעה (shib'ah), in the dual form: שבעתים (shib'atayim), means sevenfold, or seven times. This word occurs seven times in the Bible, from Genesis 4:15 to Isaiah 30:26.

The feminine adjective שביעית (shebi'it) and the masculine adjective שביעי (shebi'i), both meaning seventh (Exodus 21:2, Joshua 6:16).

The masculine noun שבוע (shabbua'), indicating a period of seven. This seven can be days (Genesis 29:27, Deuteronomy 16:9) or years (Ezekiel 21:28).

At some point, the masculine noun שבע (sheba') turned into the verb שבע (shaba'), meaning to swear or take an oath. It occurs 184 times in the Bible, most notably in the Beersheba incident, where Abraham and Abimelech swear peace and Abraham marks this by surrendering seven ewes to his friend (Genesis 21:28).

BDB Theological Dictionary explains the connection between these two separate meanings by explaining the act of swearing with seven oneself, or bind oneself by seven things. Of course, the most predominant usage of the number seven is in the creation week. It's always been a mystery where the Jewish week came from — the day, the month and the year are all references to cosmological phenomena, but the week appears to be a strictly theological expression. By creating everything in seven days, God takes an oath (also read our studies on the creation week.)

The verb שבע (shaba'), meaning to swear, yields two derivatives, although these are probably the same word spelled slightly different: the feminine nouns שבועה (shebu'a) and שבעה (shebu'a - which is spelled identical to the feminine version of 7, but pronounced slightly different), both meaning an oath (Exodus 22:10, Deuteronomy 7:8), and once a curse (Isaiah 65:15).

The root שבע (sb'; now spelled as שׂבע (sb') and pronounced with an s) means to be sated or satisfied with food. It's used literally for people who have (or don't have) enough to eat (Hosea 4:10) or drink (Amos 4:8), but also for the earth sated with rain (Proverbs 30:16), a sword drinking its fill with blood (Jeremiah 46:10). Our verb is also used for fillers other than food: Harlotry (Ezekiel 16:28), plunder (Jeremiah 50:10), an observation (Isaiah 53:10), the goodness of God's house (Psalm 65:4), sons (Psalm 17:14). And also it may denote an excess: of honey (Proverbs 25:16), tossing (Job 7:4), poverty (Proverbs 28:19), shame (Habakkuk 2:16), and the list goes on.

The derivatives of this verb are:

The masculine noun שבע (soba'), meaning satiety (Ruth 2:18, Proverbs 13:25) or abundance (Psalm 16:11).

The feminine counterpart of the previous noun שבעה (sab'a or sib'a), also meaning satiety (Isaiah 55:2, Ezekiel 16:28).

The masculine noun שבע (saba'), also meaning sated or satisfied (Genesis 35:29, 1 Samuel 2:5, Job 14:1).

=

"An excess of honey cures the curse."

Without Shabbos, satiety, Judaism has no proof its practices are worthwhile. So a dead husband, while sad is just another chance to carry on Israel's name in some vastly improved way.

[purplesurveys]

1761

How did it feel outside today? I didn't go out, but in any case to my surprise it was cold all day – I haven't turned on my fan at all, and right now I even have my blanket around me without anything running. I don't know if this is still one of those rare good days in the year, or if it could already be the start of the Christmas weather.

Are there any animals in the room with you?  Nopes. I'm in my room; the dogs sleep downstairs.

How did you spend yesterday afternoon?  I was just working and had been in a couple of meetings as well.

Are any of your siblings taller than you?  They both are. I'm the smallest sibling and also the smallest in the immediate family, haha.

Name a song that reminds you of a past relationship:  Sparks by Coldplay. Thankfully I associate Coldplay so much more with BTS now because I love the band and it would've sucked if I had to stop listening to them.

When did you last have a nightmare?  I feel like it was just recently, but I can't remember exactly when.

What's the goriest thing you've ever seen?  TRIGGER WARNING: DEATH, BLOOD. Either photos of actual corpses on the internet, or select wrestling matches that are known for having been extremely bloody. I have a very specific memory of watching Vince McMahon's forehead literally pumping out blood cos his cut went way deeper than it should have.

Have you or do you attend pep rallies regularly?  I haven't. I know my university had those as an annual thing but I never was able to attend any because I could never find anyone who wanted to watch it.

Have you ever seen a building on fire in real life?  I haven't, but seeing massive clouds of smoke from a distance from burning buildings is something I'm fairly familiar with. The last time had been in July when we were staying over at a hotel and could tell there was a fire going on at some province all the way south, like in Cavite, from that giant-ass cloud of smoke we saw from our floor.

Have you kissed anyone and their first name started with an F, D, or L?  No, I haven't.

Have you ever been in therapy for anything? Nope, haven't been to therapy.

Do you think clowns are creepy?  They can be but they aren't the creepiest things in the world for me.

If you had to write an essay about a popular song... what would that song be?  Let's go with Gangnam Style by PSY.

When did you last have some fruit?  Every day I was sick in the last week my mom fixed up this drink for me to consume and I'm pretty sure it had some kind of fruit in it; I'm just unable to identify which.

What's something you have to look forward to?  Getting to head out again after finishing my quarantine. I completely forgot that the local Audrey Hepburn exhibit is only running until the end of the month, so I really need to book a visit within the next weekend as it'll be gone by the 28th.

Is there any part of your sexual/romantic history that you have not told your current significant other about or that you will not tell future partners about?  There is a small part that I probably would have to mention, but it's too personal to discuss in detail here.

Have you ever developed feelings for someone whose sexual orientation was incompatible with yours?  Nah.

How many relationships have you been in that actually got sexual?  Just one.

Who performs the most random acts of kindness out of everyone you know?  Probably Bea. Girl always has surprises up her sleeve.

Are any of your pets “overweight”?  Cooper may be slightly overweight, but it's not like alarm bells level and we definitely watch how much we feed him so that it doesn't start becoming an entirely bad health issue.

Who’s the most romantic person you ever went out with?  I've only gone out with one person.

Last person to tell you that you smell good?  My sister.

Last person you told that they smell good?  That's not really something I tell people and tbh the last time I remarked they smelled nice it was to my dogs hahaha.

What shows do you watch?  I gravitate towards sitcom the most since I prefer easy watching, so shows like Friends, The Big Bang Theory, Brooklyn Nine-Nine...I also started on The Office earlier this week. Every now and then I'll watch something a bit heavier as I can only enjoy a good drama; most recently I finished DP.

Is there anything you are craving right now?  I'm feeling pretty full right now actually so I'm good.

Think back to the last person you kissed, how many times have you laughed with them?  A million times and more.

What are five Halloween costumes that you’d like to wear in the future?  RJ of BT21; Diane Nguyen from BoJack; Joey Tribbiani from that scene where he wore all of Chandler's clothes at once; a bottle of peach soju; and the dude from the 'A child' Vine hahaha.

Who did you have your first kiss with? Do you remember what color his/her eyes were?  My ex, yeah I do.

Whose Facebook timeline did you post on most recently?  I don't post on anyone's feeds. I think only older people do that anymore.

Have you ever had a restaurant dish that was made with bugs? If not, would you even want to try one?  I haven't, actually; I didn't even get to try any bug dishes in Thailand when I was there – our itinerary was so packed we didn't have time to look for restaurants or stalls that had them :( But yes, I'm adventurous when it comes to food so I'd definitely try.

If anything, I went to a Thai tasting menu event a couple of weeks ago and I took up the owner's offer to try one piece of cricket. It tasted like chicharon, just a bit more savory.

Which edible flowers have you tasted?  I don't think I've tried flowers before.

Who was the last non-relative woman you spoke to in person?  Fern.

What was the last video you added to your favorites on YouTube?  I don't really do that. The most I do is just press like on videos.

Who was the last person that apologized to you?  I think Coleen.

What comes to mind when you think of pregnancy?  Expenses.

Do you prefer bar or liquid soap?  Liquid.

Do any of your family members have an upcoming birthday?  It'll be one of my cousins' birthday on November 3rd.

What is your favorite flavor of Jolly Ranchers?  I've never had a Jolly Rancher.

Is your favorite animal endangered?  No.

Are you better at writing fiction or non-fiction?  Non-fiction. I have absolutely zero luck with fiction; I've just never figured it out.

Have you ever dated someone one grade/year above or below you?  Neither.

What is the middle name of the last person you texted?  I have no idea.

Have you ever come close to drowning?  Yes, when I was 9.

So… remember Girl Scout cookies? Any favorites you had/have?  No I don't. We don't have those here.

Why did you ignore the last person you ignored?  Because it was a work-related person messaging on a fucking weekend and they should know to leave me alone.

Which cartoon character would you want to keep as a pet? Pluto :) If I could have Baymax in dog form too that would be so fun.

Do you like chocolate milk?  Just Chuckie. I'm not too fond of everything else.

What is something you hate, but wish you loved?  Hiking and more outdoorsy activities. < So real. I wish I could love hiking but tbh it is the worst thing in the world.

What’s the cutest thing your S/O does, but denies it’s cute in any way?  I don't have one.

Who have you hugged in the past month?  Idk, I wanna say around 10-15 people? I've seen a good number of friends this month so far.

Last bad news you heard?  Family death for one of my co-workers.

Have you ever dined alone at a restaurant?  Yup, several times.

Have you seen a baby being born in real life?  I have not.

Do any of your exes know each other?  I only have one.

What’s an opinion you find impossible to take seriously?  Continuing to be supportive of the Marcos regime.

Have you ever changed in front of the last person you kissed?  Uh, sure.

Do you have any goats?  I don't own any goats, no.

Do you hang out with your sibling’s friends?  Nah, they like to keep to themselves and that's fine by me.

Have you experienced any severe side effects of medications?  Well, I've been bruising this last week but I'm not sure if that's simply because of my weakened immune system or the meds I took.

On Facebook, do you have people listed as your siblings who aren’t really your siblings?  No, never did that.

Have you lost any close family members to cancer?  One.

Do you know anyone who doesn’t have a middle name?  I've met people who only have one first name, but they're very rare.

How often do you check your emails?  For my personal email, at least once a day.

Would you want your kids to have your hair color?  All Filipinos have black hair so I don't really have a choice lol.

Have you ever had a big YouTuber reply to a comment you left on their video?  Nah. That'd be cool, but also I never comment so HAHAHAHA

Have you ever given a lap dance?  Nope.

[eraofkalki]

OK SO

hii hyo are you single

THIS FUCKS

anyways:

"With a tight smile, you briefly contemplated the choices laid out for you. Maybe you should just take a bath with your toaster plugged in tonight? Sleeping on the train track is shaping up to sound like a great idea as well." oh man that's so real but don't worry you're protected by the plot to find yourself a rich daddy do not worry <3

"Your silence must have answered his question because you could hear an even louder cackle through the phone to the point where you were sure he must be tearing up or choking on his saliva. Unfortunately, there went all chances of saving any sort of money or dignity." can i commit murder? strangulation? maybe just a little mutilation?

"[11:05AM] pretentious bitch: I’ll allow you to postpone and change the concept of the photoshoot. Let me know if you find a person who is willing to take pictures with you." i literally thought mephisto was calling her a bitch until i realised she just saved his name as that THE RELIEF

"You went through different variations of mildly concerning threats before settling on an amicable phrase that you could send to him without the police knocking on your door." GIRLYPOPS FEARS THE COPS

“Why didn’t I think of that? You’re the best, thank you!” You almost want to launch yourself across the table to kiss her for her wit and barely held back. Yuki fixes you with a threatening stare and thus you settle yourself deeper into your seat with a chastised pout. YUKI HAS BEGUN THE QUEST FOR THE DADDY

MrBubblesLover29@yahoo.com: Dear Miss, could you please provide more information about the photoshoot? I am interested to hear more and if all goes well, I have some terms of my own to provide too. You can contact me at the number attached: XXX XXX XXX

satan what the fuck is mrbubbles

[08:10AM] Satan: Hello, it is a pleasure to meet you. I have run through the mood board and it seems good. Also, no worries about the outfit. I will be able to provide one. For my condition, I would prefer that we meet up in person to discuss  it. Would that be alright with you? Do let me know what time would work best for you. LMAOOOO WHAT

"You have watched enough true crime podcasts to know that this was sufficient for sirens to be blaring and your guard to be up. In your head, an imaginary true crime commentator deduced that he could either be trying to get into your pants or perhaps, searching for his next victim. With your hackles up, you quietly tried to swipe away from his profile when you noticed something." ok but you wrote this part so well i could feel the feeling WE HAVE A SMART MC

"Plus… it would be a shame to not see that handsome face in person at least once." uhhhh never mind but YES GET THE D

oh yes he's Rich too

"You let out a weary exhale. In the five minutes that you have known this man, he has proven himself time and time again to be a douche. You didn’t want to argue with someone that you had just met but it was vexing trying to communicate with him who was refusing to cooperate while you tried to pry information from the clutches of his grip. Before you could stop yourself, you pushed the documents to the other side of the table." personality is trash but THE EX IS TRASHIER

"…This guy was so uptight. Does he have a stick up his ass?"

you could help take it out 🤭

"Your messages were indeed left on delivered till the morning." pops got offended and went to sleep

awww SIMEON you're my favourite too

"[12:12PM] yuki <3333: dress hot. see u" OOOOH

"[06:16PM] Satan: His name is Mr Bubbles." oh i should've known :/

"On the commute home, you spent time doing your daily catch-up with Satan. You had learned much about the once-elusive man. You could rattle off a whole list – he had six brothers and a half-sister, he likes green, he’s an acclaimed professor with multiple degrees, the list just goes on. It’s a given that he knows as much about you too." the d just keeps getting bigger

"[11:55PM] You: urrrrrrrrrr xtee" yeeessssghha gety himj

"[03:20PM] You: maybe not tomorrow :<" we (don't) love a careful girlie :')

make them kiss or i will come to your house

lucky strike! 

satan x f!reader series

✦ SUMMARY: Your luck has always been terrible, you knew that. But getting dumped a month before your wedding was not on your bingo card for the year. It seemed like you only had the shittest luck meeting the worst kind of men until you went on Craigslist. Hm? A cat-loving blond man was willing to accept your listing? ✦ WARNING: Modern AU, fake dating, reader works in the corporate world (not specified), fluff, unresolved emotional tension, mentions of cheating (reader's ex), reader and satan are noted to be in their late 20s, drunk texting ✦ WC: 7.8K

| PART ONE | PART TWO | MASTERLIST

══════════════════

Luck is a mysterious and unexplainable phenomenon. Unfortunately, the God of Luck has never cared enough to shine down on you. Your unluckiness manifested in all sorts of ways; from birds pooping on you to delayed flights. It was a recurring theme in your life. But seriously? Getting cheated on by your ex, a month before your wedding is a new low, even for you. 

You slumped over the table, hair tangled as you rubbed at your eyes. The murmured voices in the background blend together as you refuse to lift your head from where you are currently face down on the table.

“Hey… are you sure you’re alright?” A gentle hand touches your shoulder and you resist the urge to flinch and snarl at the voice to go away so that you could drown yourself in your sorrows – maybe in the sink in the washroom, which was becoming much more tempting by the minute.

Regrettably, you remember that you had called over reinforcements from when your stupid, shitty, rotten, pathetic ex had flaked on you through text so that you don’t try to do something stupid. 

And now, you had company, but all you wanted to do was maybe throw yourself off a building so that you wouldn’t wake up in humiliation the next morning. Seriously, you still can’t believe that this manchild had the audacity to break up with you over text, and he even flaunted his new partner hours later on social media.

…He had never posted you on his account, citing that he didn't see the purpose of it. You scoffed, laughing at yourself for your stupidity in believing him. It wasn’t that, you just weren’t important enough for him to want to do it.

You could feel your eyes start to get wet and you vehemently tried to force those tears to go back into your tear duct. You were not going to waste a single tear on a man, especially on one as despicable as him. 

In his defense, you couldn’t say that you didn’t see this coming. He’s been acting much more distant lately, unwilling to even hug you when he leaves the house to go to work. Your sex life had also been at an all-time low. You remember just a couple weeks back when you had dolled up in the cutest set of lingerie you had owned and waited for him but you ended up sleeping on the couch when he didn’t make it back throughout the night.

You had just convinced yourself that the stress of the wedding planning got to him and didn’t bother investigating further. But honestly, you weren’t an idiot. You could smell the unfamiliar reek of perfume practically wafting off him whenever he returned from “work”. But you played it off, thinking that you were being an anxious freak.

…At least he had the foresight to break up with you on a Friday night instead of a weekday. You would hate to drag yourself to work in this state. 

You groaned again, finally lifting your face from the table when you were sure that you weren’t going to burst into tears. However, as you met the worried glances on your friends’ faces, a sob unilaterally ended up escaping from your throat.

Before you knew it, you were crumbling and breaking down with tears streaming from your eyes. God, now you were being pathetic.

.

After bawling your eyes out and evaporating whatever sort of water you had left in your body, you were finally ready to pick yourself up and move on. You told your friends as much albeit with your eyes blotched with tear stains and a warbled voice.

“Er babe, not to rain on your parade but what about the photoshoot?” Your friend cautiously asked, hands raised for protection as if afraid that you would throw a bottle at her. Though, that thought did run through your brain for a split second. Your lips parted with surprise as a jolt ran through you. You don’t answer your friend right away as you pause to search through your jumbled memories.

Fuck, she was right. Your scumbag of an ex had wanted to cheap out on the wedding costs and had persuaded you to opt for a more reasonably priced package but it came with conditions – no refunds and no cancellation. This meant that he had fucked you up again.

You could feel the waterworks and stress bubbling up inside of you, as you buried your face into the palms of your hand. The next time you see your stupid whore of an ex again, you swear you were going to fuck him upside down.

.

After a much-needed sleep, you finally gathered up your courage to call the wedding planner that well, you wouldn’t be needing their services anymore. She had been sympathetic in her response but had immediately still tried to sell you another package – as if you hadn’t just been broken up with or were even ready to dip your toes into the dating pool. You should be angry but it was hard to muster up any emotions when you just felt empty.

It was unfortunate that all of the bookings had been made under your name else, you would have just let that pathetic bastard cancel all of the appointments. You were not looking forward to the next call. In a fit of nervousness, you stood up to pace around the room.

All you had left was the final boss. You swallow thickly as you shakily bring up the contact profile of your photographer. The first time you had met him, he had chewed you out about every single thing possible from your fashion sense to the way you talk. You swear that for some reason, this guy had a vengeance out for you.

For once, you hoped that your photographer could find the compassion buried deep down inside his rotten heart to be nice to you. 

“What do you want?” The all-so-familiar satiric voice bleeds through the line and your grip on your phone turns tighter, as if it was trying to escape.

You winced. 

It seemed like you had caught him in a bad mood.

“Hi Mephisto, just wanted to ask how you are doing?” In a fake voice, your first course of action was to butter him up.

“How many times have I told you that my name is Mephistopheles? We are not close enough for you to call me by that.” 

If words could hurt, you were sure that you would be scalded and burnt by the sheer force of his acidic tone. Somehow, today his words held even more venom than usual.

“Damn okay. What got your panties in a twist today, Mephistopheles? I was just checking in on you,” You tried again, keeping your tone light while you hurriedly punched down the urge to reach out across the virtual world to wrap your hands around his neck.

“Quit it. What do you want? You must be calling for something. I’ve already told you that there are no refunds or cancellations, so if it’s about that, you can go ahead and hang up now.” With that, you could see your imaginary money waving pitifully across the river bank. 

With a tight smile, you briefly contemplated the choices laid out for you. Maybe you should just take a bath with your toaster plugged in tonight? Sleeping on the train track is shaping up to sound like a great idea as well.

“Well, no. I just wanted to know if it’s possible to push back the date for the photoshoot?” With an airy laugh, you gritted out your words. 

Your petty self would not let your stupid ex have the last laugh, you were going to make sure to live your life happily and take those damn wedding photos.

A few seconds passed before you heard a condescending laugh on the other side of the line. “Did you get dumped?” For some reason, Mephistopheles always had a sixth sense regarding the state of your relationship. The last time you had gotten into a tiff with your ex before a consultation, Mephistopheles had chortled right in your face and told the pathetic bastard to buckle up.

Your silence must have answered his question because you could hear an even louder cackle through the phone to the point where you were sure he must be tearing up or choking on his saliva. Unfortunately, there went all chances of saving any sort of money or dignity.

With a click, you promptly hung up the call. There was no point dealing with him when he was in this state. You chucked your phone on the sofa, letting out a huge groan as it bounced off and hit the floor. Thankfully, the screen didn’t shatter else, it might have been your tipping point.

As you collapsed on the couch, praying for your demise to come, a ding caught your attention. Turning your attention to where your phone had landed, a message flashed brightly across the screen.

[11:05AM] pretentious bitch: I’ll allow you to postpone and change the concept of the photoshoot. Let me know if you find a person who is willing to take pictures with you.

[11:06AM] pretentious bitch: I’ll only wait for two months. Any longer and I will cancel the booking. No refunds.

You went through different variations of mildly concerning threats before settling on an amicable phrase that you could send to him without the police knocking on your door.

[11:06AM] You: thanks. ill lyk soon.

And with that message sent, you swiftly threw your phone (safely this time). You watch it slide, unharmed to the other side of the couch. With a deep breath, you stood up ready to conquer the day. You were not going to let yourself mope around in the house.

.

“Yukiii,” You pleaded with a hopeful gaze, hands clasped tightly around hers. “Help meee, I don’t know anyone who can do a photoshoot with me,” With as much pitifulness as you could muster, you flashed her the saddest look you could.

Your friend sends you a tight-lipped smile as she purses her lip with furrowed eyebrows. “I would love to but I don’t think I know anyone available for a photo shoot,” With that answer, you immediately slammed your head down on the table with a loud thud – causing the waiter who had been walking over with your order to retrace his steps.

“Urgh…. Why does life hate me,” You mumbled indistinctively from your position even as Yuki pinched the skin on the back of your hand in an attempt to get you to be more socially aware of your surroundings. With a loud sigh, she pried open your entwined hands and twisted the side of your ear hard.

With a loud cry of pain, you finally sat properly in your seat with a sulk. After getting your attention, she cleared her throat while folding her hands primly on the table. “I think you can try your luck on Craigslist. Try listing for a photo shoot partner online, people might just contact you.” 

“Why didn’t I think of that? You’re the best, thank you!” You almost want to launch yourself across the table to kiss her for her wit and barely held back. Yuki fixes you with a threatening stare and thus you settle yourself deeper into your seat with a chastised pout.

.

After all your bravado earlier, you were at an impasse. How on earth do you write a listing without it reeking of desperation? You brooded over a cup of tea, that was now lukewarm due to your fickleness, as you scowled at the screen of your laptop, unable to type another word.

Looking for a partner to shoot an HK-style photoshoot with! Free of charge and I can provide you with free entertainment and pictures of cats. I will provide more details once you message me! Also attached is a photo of me so that you know that I’m not a scammer.

You stared at the words blankly, before emphatically deciding, to hell with it, and posted it.

.

You wake up in the middle of the night, throat parched and the light on your phone blinking obnoxiously in the darkness. Who on earth is blowing up your phone -- you checked the time on the screen, eyes half-closed -- at 4 in the fucking morning?

After grabbing a cup of water and planting yourself in front of your screen. You looked in dismay at the hundreds of notifications that flooded your inbox and instantly regretted putting a picture of yourself up on the listing. The amount of unwanted pictures you got was abysmal and you hurriedly deleted all emails with attachments. As you were about to delete the last email in the thread, you accidentally misclicked and the page popped up.

[12:25AM] 

MrBubblesLover29@yahoo.com: Dear Miss, could you please provide more information about the photoshoot? I am interested to hear more and if all goes well, I have some terms of my own to provide too. You can contact me at the number attached: XXX XXX XXX

Thank you and I wish for your timely response.

Yours sincerely,

Satan

What was up with this guy? You squinted at your phone screen, rubbing your eyes to get a better look. You marveled at how awkward and formal he managed to sound over an email for a listing that you took at most five minutes to write.

But he was your best bet considering the rest of your emails are filled with unwanted appendages that you certainly weren’t in the mood to look at. And at least, you were confident that he wasn’t going to send you unsolicited messages for now. Regardless, a new contact profile was created, and you threw yourself back in bed while mulling over a message to craft.

[05:15AM] You: hi, thanks for reaching out! i got ur number off the email u sent to me abt the craigslist thing. can i ask what conditions u have? ill also send the mood board here. dw i also hv the outfit prepared tho u may need to alter it if it doesnt fit u or u can also get ur own fit. 

[05:20AM] You: Attachment sent - 1 File

[05:21AM] You: oh sorry abt the late msg, i didnt notice the time haha

In your efforts to keep yourself awake for a little while longer, you thought that it would be a good idea to scroll through articles on stranger danger. Quickly, the memory of your plastered picture on the internet haunts you and from the articles, it appeared that you had already failed the first step in keeping yourself safe. 

With a grimace on your face, you quickly took down the listing on the website and prayed that whoever this Satan guy was, he would come through so you wouldn’t need to put yourself back up on the Internet.

.

Birds chirped distantly in the background as you groggily reached for your phone. It seemed that sleep had claimed you while you were surfing the net for cute animal videos. Somehow, you had woken up much more tired than you had been when you went back to sleep.

With one arm raised to shield your eyes from the sunlight peeking through the blinds, you checked your notifications and almost dropped your phone in your state of sleep.

[08:10AM] Satan: Hello, it is a pleasure to meet you. I have run through the mood board and it seems good. Also, no worries about the outfit. I will be able to provide one. For my condition, I would prefer that we meet up in person to discuss it. Would that be alright with you? Do let me know what time would work best for you.

You almost puked in your mouth. Would it be wrong to say that he seems a lot more suspicious now? Also, what was up with his concept? You barely resist the urge to throw your phone across the room and inhaled a much-needed breath of fresh air and instantly choked on it -- screw it, what was wrong with this guy? 

Suddenly, you very much regret placing your personal information up on the internet for the whole world to see. The articles on stranger danger flitted through your brain and you grimaced at the thought of the possibility of being trafficked.

You have watched enough true crime podcasts to know that this was sufficient for sirens to be blaring and your guard to be up. In your head, an imaginary true crime commentator deduced that he could either be trying to get into your pants or perhaps, searching for his next victim. With your hackles up, you quietly tried to swipe away from his profile when you noticed something. 

With a peer at the saved contact profile, you realised that Satan must have saved your number seeing as there were now multiple display photos for you to scroll through.

You gaped at what you saw.

A pretty blonde man with a cat. He was cute, in that classic pretty boy style that was unfortunately exactly your type. With an excited hum, you scroll through the stranger’s photos. It was a visual treat. Your eyes trailed over the sharp angles of his face before belatedly noticing that he had on a pair of glasses. You might just about faint.

After catching a glance at yourself in the mirror, you swiftly straightened up and frowned. You were not going to go against your morals and fawn over a random stranger you had met over the Internet. For all you knew, he could be catfishing you. 

(He wasn’t. You had reverse image-searched his photo on the net so that you could further stalk look him up but you couldn’t find much additional information on him.)

[10:12AM] You: sure! we can meet at this location tomorrow at 1pm?

[10:12AM] You: Location sent

Admittedly, it didn’t take you much time to, well, go against your morals but you didn’t have any other choices to fall back at the moment. Either way, it was only a meeting in a public place so if the situation went awry, you would still be relatively safe.

Plus… it would be a shame to not see that handsome face in person at least once.

.

It’s about fifteen minutes from your scheduled meet-up with this stranger at the cafe you selected. Oddly enough, you haven’t started to feel the nerves set in which was uncharacteristic of you, considering the old you would have already been in the washroom trying to drown yourself in the sink.

But you do feel terribly out of place sitting alone. Wherever your sight falls on, there was always a couple being lovey-dovey and almost distastefully happy, rubbing salt in your wound. Thankfully, before you can start burning holes into your cup, a low voice abruptly cuts through your thoughts to call out your name.

“Hello. Are you the one who made the Craigslist post?”

Alarmed, you quickly raise your gaze from the table to meet bright green eyes. Silently, you brought a hand to your nose to check if your nose has started bleeding. The photos you had seen earlier did not do this angel man any justice. You could almost see a halo of light behind his head. 

Satan was much more handsome in person.

“Did I get the wrong person?” 

You could see the man’s eyebrow furrow as he glanced at his phone before examining at your face. You were too caught up in staring at him to realise that you had forgotten to give a reply. Hurriedly, you scrambled to tug on his sweater as he turned to leave.

“Oh sorry. Yes. That’s me.” Your voice came out stilted, as your back aligned as straight as a ruler. Thankfully, it seemed that Satan was too busy looking around the interior of the cafe to notice your mini-mental breakdown.

“Satan right? It’s good to meet you,” Without forgetting your manners, you offered a hand. Satan regarded your outreached palm with a passive expression before accepting it courteously. A few seconds passed as your eyes took in the view before you appreciatively. 

An awkward cough cut your daydreaming short.

“Could you please let go of my hand now?” Satan said politely.

You mumbled an apology, shuffling back in your seat with a red face resembling a tomato. Belatedly, you hadn’t noticed that you were still grasping onto his hand, tightly. How did you already make an embarrassment of yourself on the very first meeting?

“Right. We’re here to talk about the conditions, correct?” You started, leaning back into your seat to get into a more comfortable position. Satan pulls out the chair opposite you and sets his briefcase on the floor. At a glance, you notice the various luxury brand logos on his person; taking a double look at the sweater which was easily more than what you make in a month.

Satan nodded, leaning down to rummage through his briefcase before pulling out a stack of paper to place on the table. You dumbly stared at him with eyes as wide as saucers.

You reckon that if your jaw wasn’t already unhinged during your leering session earlier, it would have made a comically loud sound.

“A contract?” You said lost, rubbing the back of your neck when he slid the document over for you to read. Maybe, he really was a serial killer and he was about to make you sign your life away in an unfair contract.

 COMMERCIAL CONTRACT 

THIS AGREEMENT is made and entered into this XXX…

You barely get through the first sentence before the peculiarity of the situation dawns on you. Somewhere, in the depths of your subconscious, a metaphorical Yuki was screaming right in your ears, “What the hell is wrong with you?!” while shaking you by the shoulders. Alas, she wasn’t here so you opened your mouth instead. 

“What is the contract for?” You inquired hesitantly, scanning through the pile of paper, and wondered whether it was possible to rewind time.

Satan looks up from his phone, (when had he even taken out his device?), before replying matter-of-factedly, “An exchange for services. You require my help for the photoshoot and I require your attendance for a schedule. This arrangement works out perfectly for us, I would say.”

That was certainly an unconventional way of thinking. You were impressed by his …uniqueness. You were almost moved by his little spiel to sign the contract.

You blinked. “Do we really require a contract? I can just help, you know? I mean, you’re doing me a service by helping out with the shoot.”

Satan turns to face you again, evidently bored. “Do you need time to read through the contract? We can do the signing at a later date.”

What a jerk. He just ignored your question.

“Could you please tell me more about your conditions first?” You tried again, keeping your voice even with fists clenched under the table.

He looked at you, with an edge of displeasure in the set of his mouth. “I may need your attendance for an event where you will need to act as my romantic partner.”

“That doesn’t tell me much-- Wait-- Are you asking me to pretend to date you?” You spluttered, thrown off by the derail in the conversation.

He went quiet, wearing the most uncomfortable expression you have seen so far.

“No. Just your attendance for an event to give off the impression that we are in romantic relations.” Satan said sharply, as you nodded along to his words.

“Uh. Right. So fake dating.” You were still befuddled by his sudden proposition, leaning closer. “So, what does this entail? And what event is this for?”

“Everything is in the contract. Please refer to it instead of asking me.” Satan looks pointedly at the stack of paper arranged in front of you. 

You let out a weary exhale. In the five minutes that you have known this man, he has proven himself time and time again to be a douche. You didn’t want to argue with someone that you had just met but it was vexing trying to communicate with him who was refusing to cooperate while you tried to pry information from the clutches of his grip. Before you could stop yourself, you pushed the documents to the other side of the table.

“Satan. I’m not going to sign the contract. It’s fairly unreasonable to spring this onto someone who you just met for the first time. Just let me know what are your conditions so we can discuss further.”

For the first time since you met him, Satan stares at you as if he is searching for something within you. You paused for a second, fumbling for words that didn’t sound remotely stupid before adding, “There must be an issue. Are you afraid about something?”

You must have hit the jackpot as Satan remained silent, leaving your question hanging in the air.

“Is a contract really necessary?” You pressed.

You watched as Satan seemed to battle his inner thoughts, face scrunching up adorably. “I will… retract the contract as you wish. You’re right. I was hasty in presuming a contract was needed. I apologise for my mistake.”

The quick apology on his part was a pleasant surprise. You never had anyone admit their mistake so quickly before and he didn’t even try to shift the blame to you! You mentally gave yourself a pat on the back before letting out an amused chuckle.

You waved a hand, dismissing his apology. “Thank you. Anyways, if you want to go forward with this fake dating thing, won’t we need to know each other better too?” Satan stares at you strangely as you blow gently on your iced coffee.

There’s a pause.

“Correct. I was hoping that we could correspond on a cover story and I would also like to get the chance to know you better as well.” You nod along in agreement this time sensing that this would turn out to be a long talk.

It was only after the meeting that you realised Satan never answered your question. 

.

You scratched your head as you turned around looking for the egg that you had set down on the counter as you reflected on the meeting today. Honestly, the meeting went better than you had expected. Both of you had left the cafe pretty late. Thankfully, Satan turned out to be much nicer and a better conversational partner than you had guessed from his first impression.

After locating your egg on the table, you proceeded to whisk your mixture together when a loud bzzt caught your attention from where your phone was lying on the counter. Holding the mixing bowl under one arm, you took a cursory glance at the screen.

[07:32PM] Satan: Hello, this is a refresher on the meeting we had earlier. I have compiled the notes in the PDF below. Please take a look and let me know if I have missed out on anything.

[07:32PM] Satan: Attachment Sent - 1 File

…This guy was so uptight. Does he have a stick up his ass?

Continuing to stir the batter, you squint at the message again. Had all of the joy in his life been sucked out? You decide to take it upon yourself to educate him about having some fun.

[07:35PM] You: looks great! also, i think u need to relax :< if anyone sees ur phone, they wld think that im ur business partner instead of ur gf lol

Satan is typing…

Satan is typing…

You waited by your phone for a minute, leaning against the kitchen island. When no reply comes, you decided to start buttering up your frying pan to get started.

[07:40PM] Satan: Right, sorry. I’ll try my best.

The message flashes on the screen, and you let out a small chuckle. It was rather endearing to see him take such a long time to type such a short message.

[07:40PM] You: shld we hv nicknames for each other? or nah, ik some couples dont do petnames

[07:41PM] Satan: Yeah, nicknames will make it more believable. Are you alright with honey?

[07:42PM] You: works with me. what do i call u? tantan??

[07:43PM] Satan: I’m 29. Please do not call me that.

[07:49PM] You: bringing ur age into this? okay old man. ill js call u babe then. also brb let me cook

[07:50PM] Satan: Go ahead. Also, isn’t this a case of a kettle calling the pot black?

You let out a scandalised gasp even as you bite back a laugh over the loud sizzling from your pan. Your kitchen timer beeps distantly in the background, signaling you to check on the stew bubbling in the back. 

[08:30PM] You: never tell a lady shes old!!! thats the first rule in How to Woo A Lady 101 (ᗒᗣᗕ)՞

[09:10PM] Satan: Alright then, my apologies to the lady. 

[09:10PM] Satan: Also, I’ll be heading to bed soon. Sleep well.

[09:15PM] You: ???? its 9??

[09:16PM] You: r u fr?? ure actually sleeping already??

[09:16PM] You: n u deny the claim that ure old…….. ok pops, lets get u to bed.

[09:17PM] You: goodnight ig. and also thks for helping out w the shoot! i rlly appreciate it.

Your messages were indeed left on delivered till the morning.

.

The commute to work was tough even though you do this every week. The lights in the building were grating and you were already sweating, having to squeeze into this tiny elevator with everyone else. God, it wasn’t like your company was lacking in money. Why couldn’t they upgrade the damn elevator? After elbowing someone in the chest, you finally made your way out of the elevator to your desk.

“Good morning!” A voice called out as you placed your bag on the table. The cheery voice was too loud in the early morning and you turned around to snap at the person. It was Simeon, holding a mug of coffee in his hand. The retort immediately dies on your tongue.

“Morning.” You greeted back, miserably.

Simeon just laughs at you before handing you a packet of coffee from his pocket. “Take it. I brought this for you to chase away the Monday blues.”

“Simeon, this is why you’re my favourite.” Eagerly, you grabbed the sachet and stared at the label for a second. “That’s the brand I always get! Seriously, you’re the best.” 

If it wasn’t for the fact that you were at work, you would have jumped to hug him. Simeon reaches past you to grab your mug and raises an eyebrow. 

“Pantry?” He questions.

You follow Simeon to the pantry, making small talk along the way. He places your cup in front of the coffee machine, motioning for you to take over the process. As you work on making your coffee, he leans back on the fridge to study your expression. 

“Are you okay?”

The sound of the coffee machine whirring to life thrums in the silence enveloping the both of you. “My wedding is off.” You finally admit when Simeon continues to wait as he inches closer, practically crowding you against the wall.

“He called it off.” You diligently kept your gaze on the appliance, not wanting to risk seeing pity in Simeon’s expression. You had thought that you had done a good job keeping yourself together but Simeon had seen through your facade at one glance.

Simeon opens his mouth to reply but the tell-tale sound of footsteps grows louder and sure enough, the pantry suddenly swarms with black-suited employees. He pins you with an expression that screams “We’ll talk more about this later”. Finally, the soft ping of the coffee machine announces the completion of your drink. Quickly, you swoop up your mug and brush past Simeon to head back to your table.

“See you at lunch!” He calls out from behind you.

That’s fair. Although Simeon works in another department, he has always been your closest friend in this forsaken company. The difference in departments had rather helped both of you blossom a camaraderie and you would like to presume that he thinks of you as a dear friend as well.

It doesn’t mean that you still want to talk about that though.

Finally, you slink back to your desk before anyone else can stop you.

.

The clock read half past eleven. You stand up from your desk to head for lunch – earlier than your usual break at twelve but it was a necessary sacrifice to avoid seeing Simeon. However, as you round the corner to the elevator, you spot Simeon coming out from his office.

Urgently, you dashed into the lift and smashed the ‘close’ button. Please, please, please. The doors were closing at a snail’s pace and you could see the delayed realisation on Simeon’s face as he dashed over. However, you were faster than him.

“Thank you.” 

Or so you thought.

Unfortunately, a passing colleague had noticed the situation and held the door open for Simeon who thanked him with a smile. You quickly wipe off the dismay on your face, “Oh Simeon! I didn’t think you take your lunch this early haha…”

He only looks at you in disapproval. 

The lift door closed gently behind him as a silence filled the air. “I’m sorry.” You say, head down. “I wasn’t ready to talk about it yet.”

Simeon only sighs. 

“You could have told me. We could just grab lunch and not talk about it, you know.” Thoroughly reprimanded, you kept your head down, suddenly finding his loafers very interesting.

Your knee-jerk reaction was to accept his suggestion and disregard this entire conversation. But you know that it wouldn’t do you any good, especially in the long run. Simeon only had your best interests at heart and it's a clear fact that he cares about you. Yet, you still feel dread at the idea of opening up and talking about Feelings™.

But you have to try, at least to reciprocate his efforts. Taking in a deep breath, you started. “I saw this coming--“

The lift lets out a cheerful ding, cutting you off as it arrives at the lobby. For a moment, both of you don’t move but as people start trickling in, you grab Simeon by the arm to drag him out.

.

Inside the restaurant that Simeon picked out, you bemoaned and bitched about your ex and the tumultuous entirety of your relationship. At some point, Simeon had even ordered more sides and drinks as you continued ranting. 

“I’m just upset that I wasn’t the one who broke it off.” You end, somewhat petulantly. It’s the same mantra you repeated to yourself the past weekend; deluding yourself that it was the only reason why you were upset.

Simeon just looks at you with a somewhat tired glance before adding, “He was honestly a bastard. It’s a blessing in disguise that you guys broke up.” You whipped your head up to look at him with surprise, dropping your chopsticks with a clatter.

Nice, friendly, kind Simeon was cursing? For whatever reason, that made you burst out into a peal of laughter – you covered your mouth with the back of your hand to stifle the sound when a vibration caught your attention.

[12:11PM] yuki <3333: club on fri. not takin no as an ans

[12:11PM] yuki <3333: the rest r comin too

[12:11PM] You: 🙁

[12:12PM] yuki <3333: dress hot. see u

[12:15PM] You: k…

Simeon looks at you curiously as you tap away on your phone. You pursed your lips as you turned your phone in his direction for him to read. 

“Yuki asked me to go clubbing on Friday. I haven’t clubbed in years!” You threw your hands up in exasperation, almost flipping your bowl by accident. You quietly collect yourself when you notice the glares from the neighbouring table.

“Ah.” Simeon laughs as he glides the phone back to you.

“You should go though? I think it would be good for you to take your mind off…recent events.” 

You frowned deeply, gesturing vaguely in exasperation before flopping into your seat. You didn’t want to go down without a fight but you couldn’t refute his sentiment.

“You’re right.” You grumbled. “Urgh. I hate you. Why are you always giving me such good advice?” You sniffed, as you wriggled a finger at him accusingly.

“It comes with the job. Come on, let’s head back to work.”

.

After leaving your office, you finally have the time to check the notifications on your phone. You were terribly busy after coming back from lunch with Simeon. Some asshole in your team had messed up and the boss had called for all hands on deck – leading you to be overworked on the first day of the week.

With a sigh, you swiped to open the notification from Satan.

[03:10PM] Satan: Good afternoon. I would like to make a proposition that we start a daily chat so that we can get to know each other better.

[05:40PM] You: sure! how was ur day, satan?

[05:50PM] Satan: It was good. I had a late start to the day so I spent the time with my cat. How was yours?

[06:10PM] You: U HV A CAT???? omg. send pics now. 

[06:11PM] You: my day was great, thanks for asking. i had lunch w a co-worker

[06:16PM] Satan: Album - Video

[06:16PM] Satan: His name is Mr Bubbles.

You opened the video and immediately let out a squeal. This had already made your day a hundred times better. You couldn’t believe that Mr. Stick Up His Ass had such an adorable cat.

[06:18PM] Satan: That’s nice. What did you eat for lunch?

[06:18PM] You: OMG! hes so cute!

[06:19PM] You: wait lol is that why ur email is mrbubbleslover

[06:20PM] Satan: Smart. I use his name for my personal email.

[06:22PM] You: thats so cute lol

With a smile creeping on your face, the conversation between Satan and you continues throughout your commute home. Without even realising it, you had already arrived at your apartment.

.

Friday evening finally rolled around. The week had passed in a blur and the only thing that kept you sane was the daily reprieve when Satan texted you. It was on a fast track to becoming your favourite part of the day. Feeling generous, you decided to stop by Simeon’s office on your way out to bless him with your presence.

“Simeon!” You flung the door open with a dramatic gasp, “Wanna come with me tonight?”

The office was as pristine as ever. The colour-coded filing cabinet was pulled open as Simeon rummaged through it to search for a document. His office always reminds you of a hospital, with the bitter hint of antiseptic lingering in the air. You had previously complained about the smell but he was adamant in disinfecting his office every few hours to not bring any germs home.

Without looking up, Simeon answers. “I can’t, I have to take care of Luke.” 

Simeon doesn’t even need to check. As always, the only possible person who would disturb him at this hour was you.

“You’re giving up a chance to go out with me for a puppy?” You say, pouting from your position in the doorway. The answer was expected, Simeon was the kind of person who would rather spend time indoors with his pet than out at a bar. 

“Boringg.” You droned, still intent on teasing him.

“Unfortunately, Luke is still young and I would hate to leave him alone on a Friday night,” Simeon quipped back, sliding an unimpressed look your way. You heaved your bag higher up on your shoulder as you sighed, realising it was a lost cause.

“Fine, I’ll leave first then. See you.” Simeon just waves you off, as he continues in his work.

With his dismissal, you quickly exit the office – thankfully not bumping into anyone you know. The employees at this company were talkative. Once, you had spent a whole hour stuck in a conversation with your superior in the lift lobby. Simeon had just given you a pitiful look as he walked past you to leave.

On the commute home, you spent time doing your daily catch-up with Satan. You had learned much about the once-elusive man. You could rattle off a whole list – he had six brothers and a half-sister, he likes green, he’s an acclaimed professor with multiple degrees, the list just goes on. It’s a given that he knows as much about you too. 

Briefly, you wonder if this little transactional relationship was spiraling into something bigger.

[06:13PM] Satan: Stay safe while clubbing.

[06:22PM] You: aye, aye sir

.

For the next hour or so, you spent your time getting ready as you waited for Yuki to arrive at your apartment to pick you up. You couldn’t tell if you were nervous. The clubbing scene has long ceased to be familiar to you – it was also the first time since the start of your previous relationship.

A chime sounds throughout the room and you struggle to put on your pair of heels. The incessant chiming of the doorbell alerts you to the urgency of the person on the other side of the door.

“Stop trying to break my doorbell.” You huffed.

“Sorry.” The amusement on Yuki’s face says otherwise.

You wait for her to lead the way but she pauses to glance down at you approvingly. “You look insane.” She remarks before tugging you by the hand, uncaring even as you stumble shakily down the hallway.

What an impatient woman.

“You could just say I look good.” You retort.

 Yuki just laughs in response. The conversation between both of you flows easily from there and before you know it, you have arrived at the place.

.

Sensing your apprehension, Yuki slows down while approaching the table, giving you a chance to gather your composure together. You slide your palm up and down your thighs, to try and fend off the tension building up within you, in a sort of comforting motion.

A chortle of greetings rings throughout the table. There was a flurry of motion and suddenly, you were no longer standing but sitting by an acquaintance’s side. Both of you exchanged pleasantries, and time seemed to pass quickly.

At some point, drinks started coming out. With a couple of drinks in your system, you began to open up, your past inhibitions forgotten. For the most part, you bitch about your superiors, your stupid ex, and then for some reason, you brought up Satan. 

Another couple of drinks blurs your judgment and suddenly, you get an intense urge to check in on him. With enough liquid courage and cheering from your friends, you whipped out your phone to draft a text.

[11:50PM] You: hi

[11:50PM] You: imisyyou

[11:52PM] You: hAHHA u knowwwww

[11:55PM] You: urrrrrrrrrr xtee

[11:56PM] You: cue

[12:01AM] You: cute**********

Satan is never awake at this time so you don’t expect to receive a reply. Instead, you shove your phone back into your pocket and return to the conversation at hand, enjoying the company of your friends and the thrill of the weekend.

.

You shouldn’t have drank so much. The raging headache that greets you when you wake up the next day felt almost like an assassination attempt. It was supposed to be a nice, chill, relaxing Saturday morning for you to sleep in. Yet, the saliva pooling in your mouth tells you otherwise.

“Yuki…I’m going to kill you…” You garble into your pillow, forcing yourself to sit up while you fight back the urge to vomit. The conscious realisation that it must be afternoon dawns late on you when you notice the sun high up in the sky through the open curtains.

You rubbed your eyes with one hand as you reached out a hand to blindly feel around the bed for your phone. The brightness of your phone temporarily stole your vision as you let out a grunt, waiting for your eyes to adjust. 

[08:10AM] Satan: ?

[08:10AM] Satan: Are you drunk?

[08:11AM] Satan: Did you get back safely?

[08:40AM] You have one missed call from Satan

[08:45AM] Satan: I presume you must still be sleeping or hungover. Let me know if you’re safe once you see this message.

Mortified doesn’t even begin to describe the rollercoaster of emotions that you are feeling. Was it possible for you to move abroad to a place where nobody would find you? You searched up the cost of moving abroad to a distant village and were sorely disappointed by the sheer amount.

[03:01PM] You: hi

[03:03PM] You: i was drunk, im so sorry

[03:04PM] You: i didnt mean to send all that

[03:04PM] You: pls accept my apologies and if possible, erase this from ur memory pls

Satan comes online almost immediately.

Satan is typing…

[03:05PM] Satan: I’m glad to hear you’re safe.

[03:05PM] Satan: It’s nice to know that you think I’m cute though :)

You drop your phone.

[03:05PM] Satan: Have you eaten or drank any water? Hydration is very important after a whole night of drinking.

You scramble to grab your phone, looking back at the message again. The dull thudding in your head becomes distant as you stare at the text.

[03:10PM] You: ah yes, thank u for reminding me to drink water haha

Your fingers are still trembling as the next message comes in with a ding.

[03:12PM] Satan: Do you have time tomorrow? I discovered this new cafe known for their bubble tea and sandwiches. Are you free to accompany me?

[03:12PM] Satan: Location sent

You screenshot the message with bated breath and send it to Yuki.

[03:13PM] yuki <3333: GIRL WTF

[03:13PM] yuki <3333: IS HE ASKING U ON A DATE

[03:13PM] You: thats what i wanted to ask u…

[03:14PM] yuki <3333: I THINK SO?? JUST ACCEPT AND GO

You swiped back on the chat with Satan, unsure fingers hovering over the keyboard.

If it was a date, you honestly weren’t sure if you were ready for it. The heartbreak from your previous relationship was still fresh. It’s only been about a week since you got dumped.

[03:20PM] You: maybe not tomorrow :<

[03:21PM] You: i already have plans w my friends :’)

[03:21PM] You: maybe another time?

You shoved your phone in the pile of blankets watching as the screen lit up, probably from a reply from Satan. The dull thudding in your head had come back in full force as you gazed up at the ceiling.

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