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ᥣđ© who do you love? . ⹠° ă .ă *ă: r. cameron
synopsis -- mistress! reader goes bonkers and films a surprise video for Rafe and his wife's anniversary. 󦈤
warnings -- 18+-mdni, smut (unprotected p i v), breeding kink, video voyeurism, infidelity, mention of alcohol usage, age gap, cursing, pussy whipped! rafe, homegirl is... yeah
other woman masterlist |taglist | based on this ask | wc: 1.7k
You knew exactly what you were doing when you typed her name into Facebook's search bar. Your fingers moved with purpose, guided by an obsession you couldn't shake.
There it was - Rafe's wife's profile, and right at the top, exactly what you'd been hunting for: a fresh post celebrating their decade of marriage, complete with a photo from their younger days when their love still seemed pure and untainted. You stared at their beaming faces, letting the bitterness wash over you.
Each scroll feels like turning a knife in your own heart, but you can't stop.
Their life unfolds before you like some twisted fairy tale: Rafe teaching their daughter to ride a bike, their annual trips to the Maldives, their matching Christmas sweaters with those damn Dobermans.
And herâalways herâwearing that diamond tennis bracelet you once saw in his browser history, claiming the life that should have been yours.
This should be me, the thought burns like acid.
Your fingers hover over a photo of their Mediterranean cruise, her perfectly manicured hand resting on his chest, that massive engagement ring catching the sunset.
She has everything: the weekend brunches at that fancy place downtown, the Range Rover you've seen in their driveway, the three beautiful children with his eyes, the garden parties you watch from afar, and himâGod, especially him.
The life that slipped through your fingers because of timing and trust funds. She had everything you didn't: old money, country club connections, and most cruciallyâage.
While you were still learning to drive, she was already the perfect socialite, the appropriate choice for a man of Rafe's standing. The Seventeen-year age gap between you and Rafe might as well have been an oceanâone that she had already crossed long before you even learned to swim.
Sometimes you wonder if that's what drew him to you in the first place: your youth, your naivety, everything that made you so different from her. Everything that ultimately made you impossible.
Your wine glass is empty again. When did that happen?
A tear escaped your eye as jealousy carved deeper into your chest, the pain spreading until you could barely breathe. Your trembling fingers found your phone, muscle memory still remembering his number after all these years. You knew it was wrongâGod, you knewâbut you pressed call anyway.
One ring. Two rings. Your heart threatened to burst.
"Hello?" His voice, still so familiar, sent electricity through your body.
"Iâ" your voice cracked, "I need to see you, Rafe. Please. I can't⊠I can't stop thinking about you, and I'm so alone tonight. Please come over, I need you."
The silence that followed felt eternalâlike light years away, stretching between your world and his, filled with everything unsaid.
You could picture him there, standing in his perfect house with his perfect family just rooms away, probably running his fingers through his hair the way he always did when he was conflicted.
Your heart hammered against your ribs as you heard him move, presumably stepping outside or into his study. Then came that familiar soundâthe slow exhale through his nose that you remembered from countless late nights together, when difficult decisions hung in the air between you.
When he finally spoke, his voice was low, rough with something that might have been regret or desire or both: "I'm on my way."
Three simple words that shattered whatever remained of your resolve. You ended the call before he could change his mind, before reality could catch up to either of you, before guilt could claw its way back in.
Your hands shook as you set the phone down, knowing that in fifteen minutesâtwenty at mostâyou'd hear his car in your driveway, and everything would change again.
When he steps through your door, the world narrows to just this: his loosened tie, your trembling hands, the soft thud as his back hits the wall. "We shouldn't," he whispers, even as his fingers dig into your hips, even as he pulls you closer.
You silence his protest with a kiss that tastes like regret and wanting, knowing tomorrow will bring guilt but tonightâtonight belongs to muscle memory and bad decisions.
Your hands roam greedily over each other, ripping clothes away with primal urgency. Your mouths hungrily devour one another, teeth nipping at lips as you guide him to the bedroom. Your heart races with desire and anticipation, knowing what awaits in the heat of passion.
The phone you carefully propped against the lamp earlier blinks silently in the darkness, its camera catching everything. You position him perfectly in its view, letting him think it's just desire guiding your movements.
"God, I've missed you," he breathes against your collar bone, completely unaware that every word, every moan, every mistake is being captured. You almost feel guiltyâalmost.
Then you think of her Facebook shrine to their perfect marriage, and something shifts inside youâguilt crystallizing into purpose.
Your phone keeps recording in the darkness, anticipating to capture every betrayal, every whispered confession.
Soon, her perfectly filtered life won't matter anymore. Soon, you'll have something far more precious than any photograph: Rafeâcornered, desperate, and finally yours.
Without hesitation, you shoved Rafe onto your queen size bed. Straddling his naked body, you disregarded any notion of foreplay.
As much as you craved the feeling of his tongue on your clit or his thick fingers probing you, all that mattered was having Rafe's cock buried in your cunt.
"Damn, you weren't kidding. You really do need me," Rafe smirked as his palm immediately found its way to your dripping core, but to your dismay was swatted away.
With a seductive grin, cooed in your sweet, high-pitched voice that made Rafe's brain mush. "Un huh, now be a good boy and let me take care of myself," you purred, guiding his rock-hard cock to the entrance of your wetness.
"Are you going to let me do that?" Your tone was condescending, but it only fueled the intense desire between you both, and because Rafe's mind turned to mush the moment you said you needed him, he nodded, totally pussy whipped and enamored by you.
The sharp gasp that escaped both of your lips was matched only by the intensity of your desire.
Slowly, you sank down onto Rafe's throbbing cock, savoring the feeling of him stretching you just as he always did.
"You're so tight, baby," he groaned out, his voice dripping with lust.
As you remembered the phone set up hidden by your side table lamp, a mischievous thought crossed your mind:
"Am I tighter than your wife?" you asked, already beginning to rock your hips on his length. Naturally, Rafe's hands found their way to your waist, not to guide you but to bring you closer to his lips.
"So much tighter, shit," he breathed out between hot kisses, with each agonizing slow rock.
"You're gonna leave her for me, huh?" you asked, face to face with Rafe, cradling his jaw to peck his lips. Slowly, you began to pick up the pace.Â
Your rhythmic movements escalate into frenzied bouncing, his hard length molding perfectly to your slick walls, stretching you to the limit. You lift yourself up and press down on Rafe's chest for leverage, driving him deeper and harder into you
Rafe's eyes rolled back as you bounced harder, your pussy gripping him like a vice. "Fuck, I⊠I don't know," he groaned, his hips bucking up to meet your thrusts.
You leaned down, your breasts brushing against his chest as you whispered in his ear, "Come on, baby. Tell me you'll leave her. Tell me I'm the only one you want." Your walls clenched around him for emphasis, drawing a strangled moan from his lips.
"God, yes," Rafe panted, completely lost in the sensation of your tight heat enveloping him. "I'll leave her. You're all I want, fuck!"
Hearing those words sent a thrill through you. You began to bounce faster, slamming yourself down onto his thick cock with abandon. Your breasts bounced enticingly and Rafe reached up to cup them, pinching your nipples between his fingers.
"Say it again," you demanded breathlessly, grinding your hips in circles. "Tell me you're mine."
"I'm yours, baby," Rafe panted, thrusting up to meet your movements. "All fucking yours."
You leaned down to capture his lips in a searing kiss, your tongue tangling with his as you continued to ride him relentlessly. The sound of skin slapping against skin filled the room, along with your shared moans of pleasure.
"Gonna cum for me?" you asked, clenching your walls around him. "Gonna fill me up? Gonna give me one of your babies?"
"Yeah, gonna stuff your sweet pussy with my hot load, fuck, I'm about to explode," Rafe moaned, his nails digging into your flesh, leaving red marks on your hips.
You reached down to rub tight circles on your clit, chasing your own release. "Me too, don't stop," you gasped.
With a few more forceful thrusts, you both toppled over the brink together, moaning in bliss as powerful waves of pleasure engulfed you. Rafe followed suit, releasing his hot and sticky load inside you, filling you up completely.
The afterglow lasts exactly thirty seconds before Rafe is already reaching for his clothes, his movements quick and efficient like this is just another business meeting wrapping up, breathing hasn't even steadied.
"I need to get back," he says, checking his watch. "We have dinner reservations at La Maison."
"Of course. The anniversary dinner." Your voice sounds hollow even to your own ears. "Rafe?" He pauses, shirt half-buttoned. "Did you mean any of it? What you said while we were�"
He crosses the room, cups your face, and plants a soft kiss on your lipsâthe kind that feels like goodbye. Then he's gone, the front door clicking shut behind him.
You sit in the twisted sheets, his warmth already fading, listening to his car fade into the distance. Your hands shake as you reach for your phone and stop the recording. The email address you've had memorized for months appears in the recipient field without hesitation. You attach the videoâforty-three minutes of undeniable truthâand watch the upload bar creep forward. In the subject line, you type five words that will demolish their perfect life: "Happy Anniversary, From Us Both."
Your finger hovers over 'send' for just a heartbeat before pressing down. Let her enjoy those reservation plans now.
Now he'll have to choose, you think, watching the loading bar reach 100%. And this time, he'll choose me.
a/n -- thanks for making it to the end, as always all likes comments, and reblogs keeps me motivated! đđ«¶đŸ
taglist --
@rafestoothbrush @alexxavicry @trapistani @Hejsj @neslayuh @hotvampdragon @alyisdead @jelybely @elmolovesw33d @littlelamy @futuremrscameron @percysley @rrafeswhore
#crookedteethed#fanfiction#rafe cameron smut#fem reader#rafe cameron#rafe cameron x reader#drew starkey#the obx#rafe outer banks#rafe smut#rafe cameron x mistress!reader#older rafe cameron x fem reader#dilf rafe#dilf rafe cameron x reader#mistress!reader#(older)husband!rafe x mistress!reader#secret relationship#rafe x reader smut#obx smut#rafe x reader#rafe obx#drew starkey fanfiction#drew starkey smut
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#INTRO2MUNCH101
summ. when suguru âeat it off the boneâ geto actually turns out to be suguru âflaps the left lip until she calls it a nightâ geto, he finds himself questioning everything he thought he knew about his skills. . . talk about a rude awakening.
cw. explicit content. foul language. fem!reader. college!au. eventual smut (but not in the way you think. . .) mild modern lingo. allusions to music artists. cunningulĆ«s. male masturbation. reader has a belly piercing. sheâs also depicted mean by the boys. gojo cameos bc i canât not mention him. tattoo artist!geto. substance consumption. lowkeyyy self-indulgent reader. 10k wc.
rena's note. this is a spin-off to p power, so iâd suggest reading that first to understand the correlation!
suguru geto is a simple man.
your pleasure is his pleasure. heâs always prided himself on being a pro at the art of cunningulus. honestâ heâs always left with swollen lips, a heavily sprayed face and a solid five star ratings at the end of his work. his jaw feels tired out, scalp burning from consistent hair tugs, and his breathing uneven from lack of oxygen. but at the feel of plush thighs squeezing his face and the repetition of his name flowing into the air before getting squirted on, he remembers itâs always worth it.
no pain no gain, right?
wrong.
because here he finds himself, a hefty hour in since he first dove in between your soft legs, and thereâs been absolutely no development. sprawled on your back on his sheets, arm slung over your eyes, and your breathing even. you look fucking bored, and his heart is sinking to his ass.
geto will use every trick he has in the book. heâs noticed overtime that girls have different bodies, therefore he needs different tactics to stimulate those bodies. he nips at your puffy bud, sucking on your clit for external pleasure. no use. fine, then heâll push your thighs up some more for a deeper penetration of his fingers in your cuntâ still no use. the only sounds being produced are his mouth slipping against his own saliva at your pussy because he canât even get you wet enough.
the pit in his stomach grows larger. he wonders if maybe youâre just the silent type? heâs come across those before.
heâs getting nervous out of his mind, so shaky and uncoordinated that his hand slips and meets your lips for the umpteenth timeâ and only then do you release a guttural groan, the very first sound youâve made in a long ass time. waitâ
âdid. . . did you cum?â he pants, pulling his sticky lips away from yours. his face feels moist, blood rushing all in his head and heâs lightheaded. but still, he has to know.
you push yourself up to your elbows, annoyance clear as day. heâs yet to seen this look on a girl after pulling every card known on the table, âyeah. . . to the wrong fucking house.â
oh fuck.
â â â
he first spotted you chatting it up with your friends on the schoolâs soccer field, on a random tuesday afternoon, and heâs been hooked on you ever since.
the universe played a funny game, and he realized university truly is a small ass world. amongst your friends, he noticed a familiar face. one heâs been hearing and seeing of one too many times lately, on multiple separate and traumatic occasionsâ gojoâs girlfriend. suguru found himself bonding with her due to their familiar point of interestâ that being gojoâ and believes he can now make of her a friend.
geto watches his best friendâs eyes shimmer and he flashes his infamous million dollar smile. he really is obsessed with his girlfriend and she doesnât even knowâ and geto finds himself wishing he had somebody heâd be this ecstatic over. must be nice.
âiâm gonna go say hi to my girl real quick,â gojo taps at his shoulder, and geto nods. heâs cool on it, heâll wait back here until heâs done, or can make his way to his next class depending on whatever gojo and his girlfriend arrange. âyou cominâ?â
âiâm probably gonna head to our next lecture.â geto voices out, pulling his phone from his pocket to check the time. he feels gojo peeking over his shoulder, in which he assumes to verify if that would be necessary.
over forty-five minutes. damn it.
âthatâs mad pointless, class doesnât start till more than half an hour,â gojo says, and geto doesnât see himself waiting around that long for a lecture. no way, âjust comeâ her friends are chill.â
fuck it, he goes. naturally, gojo is all over his girl and her friends expect it. geto does give them a little wave when gojo introduces him. one of the girls mention having heard of him through a friendâ something about a failed talking stage. mad federal, and the sheepish chuckle geto offers when you give him an unreadable look makes him want to crawl into a ditch.
so now you think heâs a whore. awesome.
and gojoâs smirk definitely doesnât help him out. he doesnât help out at all actually, so enamoured by his girlfriend that he leaves geto to fend for himself against a pack of wolves (read: nosy girls). he replies only when spoken to, nods when necessary and throws in a few âthatâs crazy,â to which the girls fail to pick up heâs out of words to say.
well, everyone except you.
youâre quiet. in fact, the whole time, you havenât said shit to him. you sit back and observe, occasionally typing on your macbook, or reapplying your lip combo. you didnât have any words to say to him. even when your friends would talk to you, you gave them short answers and went back to listening to whatever was playing in your airpods. he could tell from that small interaction alone, you were the mean one out of your clique.
and fuck if that didnât make him want you more. there was just something about mean women that made him want to break through their fake ass exteriors and watch them turn all soft and chummy for him.
blame it on his corruption kink.
gojo confirms his thoughts when theyâre finally on their way to class. he kissed his girl goodbye and waved off her friends, to which they all (minus you) collectively cooed, âbyeee gojooo!â which he found odd, but kept silent. he gave them a small nod before following his best friend.
theyâre a few steps in the science building when the words slip before he can help it, ultimately cutting gojoâs rambling off, âyo, who was that girl?â
gojo glances at him before chuckling, âthere was like seven of âem. which one?â
âthe quiet one.â
it throws him off guard when gojo laughs hard. like, really hard. it attracts the attention of bystanders, who give him a crazy look but gojo ignores. as if theyâd try to press him about his volumeâ the two were pretty adored around campus.
geto does find his reaction quite interesting, to which he cocks a brow and offers a chuckle of his own, âwhat?â
âoh, you definitely mean y/n,â when his laughter dies down, he finally answers. he lifts his shades to his hairline to swipe a tear. âsheâs mean as fuck, bro.â
âright?!â geto laughs, tapping at gojoâs shoulder. it only charges gojoâs laughing fit back up, âi could tell from her vibe. she gives off those âmen ainât shitâ girlies on twitter. whole time, sheâs probably laid up in bed with one.â
âyou donât even knowww,â gojo holds his shoulder and shakes him a bit. geto does in fact know, because heâs dealt with girls like her before. theyâre always a good ass time. âshe does men dirty. like, absolutely dogs them. heard one phone call too many.â
oh? even better than he expected. sheâs probably the type that used to love hard before getting her heart trampled on and decided to seek revenge on all men. like, on some jenniferâs body shit. geto canât help but smirk, âlemme see for myself. put me on.â
gojo falters in his step. his grip on getoâs shoulders loosen and his expression changesâ not by much, but the once lighthearted smile switches to a skeptical one, âyou serious?â
geto lets out a soft sigh, shrugging gojoâs hands off his shoulders. âdonât start asking too much. i did a favour for you and your girl, didnât i?,â well, technically speaking it wasnât like his comment had been the deciding factor for the two, but it did open gojoâs eyes. âyou owe me one.â
âi donât owe you shit,â gojo laughs, throwing his arm around geto anyways, âbuuut youâre my boy and iâm not stingy. iâll see what i can do, i know youâve been getting a lil jealous of wifey and i.â
âshut the fuck up.â getoâs chuckles contradict his statement.
from that point on, itâs smooth sailing. gojo texts his girl asking if sheâs seeing anybody. they have a little back and forth because his girlfriend assumes heâs asking for himselfâ which gojo gets all dramatic and throws geto under the bus for free. welp! it all worked out anyway since after he and gojo parted, youâd thought he was fine shyt. judging from your character, he doesnât exactly take gojoâs words for what they are.
but heâll take the opening, itâs as good as any.
time to plot.
â â â
the second encounter was purely coincidental. and simultaneously embarrassing.
see, geto prides himself on his mysterious actâ granted he was anything but. people see all that is gojo and automatically assume that geto has to be the cool one. it creates a perfect balance, no?
havenât people heard of birds of a feather flock together?
so yes, heâs also a nerd. he typically enjoys spending his wednesday afternoons at dice board cafes because why not. itâs a chill, lowkey joint right off campus and not a lot of people gravitate towards, therefore the perfect spot to camp out before his evening lecture.
besides, his buddy choso works there and it gets him discounts. it isnât the only reason he shows up, but it does help a lot on his pockets. being a student is awful, financially.
geto sips on his choco latte through a straw, browsing through the board games pamphlet as he decides what heâs going to play today. most of these games are pretty pointless if he doesnât have an opponent, but he likes to think it helps develop his iq. he hears avenoir playing through the cafe and knows chosoâs on aux.
who else could be playing this toxic ass shit?
heâs torn choosing between snakes and ladders or chess when he hears chimes at the front door, signalling somebodyâs entered the establishment. he doesnât think much of it, going on about minding his business when he hears choso say your name.
the latte enters the wrong tube and he chokes.
geto collects himself quickly, wiping any stray liquid past his mouth as his head snaps up. youâre propped up against the counter, and though he canât see your face, he definitely recognizes your build. . . okay, yeah that sounds fucking pervy but if he stalked your page a few times, whoâs business is it but his own? itâs not like youâd know. granted, he had got caught up liking one of your older photos but he took the like right back!
he debates on walking up to you. how would that even work without seeming desperate? youâve been checking out all of his boxes so farâ your face, body and attitude (question mark) are all tens. he does want to get to know youâ at least be somebody in your life. but damn, why is he overthinking this? all he has to get up there and sweet talk you. heâs done this shit before.
âyo, suguru!â
shit.
purple orbs shift towards where his name was called, and lo and behold, there stands choso. and naturally, you look back to who was summoned, but godâ social media does not do your face justice. he last seen you about a week ago, and had nothing but your instagram and his memory to rely on.
he makes his way to the counter and ignores you. doesnât spare you a glance onceâ though he stands right at your side and watches you watching him through his peripheral. he nods at choso, âwhatâs up?â
choso, ever the genius, flicks his eyes between geto and you, before clearing his throat, âshoko just textedâ somethinâ about a new client. howâs the studio looking?â
âbooked all week,â geto answers truthfully, and he notices youâve shifted your gaze, âlittle to no openings. why though?â
choso hums, jolting down online orders into a little notebook, ânot even for a special friend?â
geto squints his eyes at that. there isnât anybody heâd call a special friend that hasnât already been booked or wouldnât have his number to squeeze in an appointment. granted, he is a dnd warrior but even his friends know of that quirk of his, âdepends. whoâs the special friend?â
âme.â and he feels his heart skip a beat. fuck. he tilts his head over to the side, and good lord, your face card gave every girl on campus runs for their money. seriously, your facial features complimented you in a way that told aphroditeâ the textbook definition of beautyâ to go fuck herself, and hard.
âoh?â geto cocks a brow, and lets his eyes roam up and down your frame. shameless, yes, but he has a reputation to uphold. your rest in face makes his own look like childâs play, âdidnât realize we were on special friends basis.â
you click your tongue, âdidnât realize we were on lurking spam accounts but pretend we donât exist the next day basis either,â you quip right back, picking at the white bow glued to your acrylics.
sassy. geto chuckles, now fully turning his body around to face you. you match his movements, and he toys with a ring on his middle finger, âguess you got me all figured out,â he pauses, shifting his gaze to choso, whoâs already eyeing him. âsounds like you wanted me to reach out.â
âboy please,â you scoff, pausing your nail inspection. you let your hand hang, âyou choked earlier because you heard my name. that corny nonchalant act isnât the flex youâre thinking it is,â a huff escapes your lips, and geto feels blood rushing to his face. âyour lurking ass was months deep into my page just a week agoâ did you find any men ainât shit vibes from the photo dump?â
choso stifles a laugh, and when geto looks at him, it dies into a cough. well damn, you really didnât hold anything back. read him like a book actuallyâ and it doesnât help that gojo canât keep his mouth shut for shit. it widens the grin on his face. he thinks he likes you.
âwell,â geto smirks, âcanât say i haveâ means thereâs still an opening.â
you furrow your brows, âoh? an opening to what exactly?â
âan appointment, of course,â he shrugs, running a hand through his hair. his locks are getting in his face, but the messy look always gets him compliments. might as well shoot his shot, âyou know. . .â leaning his chin into the palm of his hand, âfor a special friend.â
his double entendre definitely doesnât go unnoticed by you. he watches how, despite the mean mugging, thereâs a glint of mischief in your eyes. youâre squinting just slightly, almost as if you were weighing out the pros and cons. geto wonât break the eye contact firstâ heâs on a mission. he hopes the tired eyes look will be on his side this time.
tattoo or dick appointmentâ he would one hundred percent make an opening for you. anything to get his hands on your body.
âare we still talking about the tattoo parlour or . . .â
both you and he turn to choso, whoâs watching the situation unfold. just count on him to ruin the mood, whether the obliviousness was feigned or not. choso tightens his brows at the look geto shoots him, âwhat?â
âiâm gonna head out,â you grab at your handbag, hopping of the seat. nicely played choso. you gather your items and slip them in your purse, sliding a few bucks across the counter. choso grabs the bills and stick them in the tip jar, nodding at her. âcatch you in poly sci?â
âif you donât skip again.â choso snorts and you flip him off, slinging your bag over your shoulder. you turn on your heel and make your way towards the exit, ultimately dismissing geto. that doesnât feel too nice, he should probably stop that bad habit.
he rises to his feet before he can help it. his hand grabs at your wrist and notices how much smaller it seems in comparaison to his, and he hates the next words that leave his mouth, âwhat about me?â
you glance down at his hold on you, before looking back up at him, âwhat about you?â your face says everything your lips havenâtâ youâre getting the ick.
he wants to wince. okay, yeah that was corny, âwhen do i get to see you?â
you drag out a mini hum, your gaze dancing over his silver chain around his collarbone, âdunno. you have my socials so i assume in the next hour.â
he tilts his head to the side, and the pad of his thumb grazes over your smooth skin. he doesnât fail to notice the way your hand stiffens under his touch, âso if i slide in your dms in the next hour, i can expect an answer?â
a snort leaves your chest, and he canât tell if itâs a condescending one or an amused one. what he does know, however, is that heâs going to be seeing you sometime soon. you take your hand back into your possession before laying it in the dead centre of his chest, pushing him back just slightly, âiâll see you around, geto.â
his eyes trail over your figure, every step you take out of the establishment, slightly starstruck by the entirety of youâ your boldness. the thrill he was beginning to feel felt like a high. he hasnât met anybody this entertaining in a while.
âyouâre so fucking corny.â he thinks he hears choso insult him from behind. he doesnât pay him any mind, despite the middle finger that tips towards the ceiling. partynextdoor blasts in the cafe, specifically freak in you, and he hates how he finds himself relating to the lyrics,
room full of beautiful women but he only wants one.
â â â
âyou stalking me, pretty?â
âsure,â you nod your head, raking through the items on the clothing rack. you donât spare him a single glance, picking a top off the rack and inspecting it, âif stalking means visiting the busiest thrift store on the busiest hour in the busiest city.â
geto lets out a small laugh, shoving his hands in the pockets of his cargos. you make him feel like a nuisance, like heâs a pest wasting your time. ironic, seeing as he wasnât that much of a bother just last night, when youâd been indulging him in your inbox, âof course youâre the thrifting type.â
you pause your actions, price tag in your fingers as you side eye him through locks of your hair, âand youâre not?â
âdidnât mean it in a bad way, sweetheart.â geto shrugs, pulling off a cropped baby tee and bringing towards you. it has sequins sewn in the material, the gems writing out juicy couture. âthis would suit youâ belly piercing and whatnot.â
the top is cute, there was no denying so. a pretty shade of pink that suited your complexion, but letting his ego inflate bigger than it already was out of the question. he could tell your thought process from the judgmental look you offered, âoh godâyouâre one of those fake ass, streetwearing fashionistas, arenât you?â
geto blinks a few times, before letting out a sincere laugh. heâs been called a multitude of things before, but that one was new, âyou got all that from me suggesting you buy this juicy couture tee? donât all girls fiend over this vintage shit?â
âitâs that corny ass personality of yours,â you grab the shirt, throwing it in your cart. he wants to make a comment on that, but you beat him to the chase, âthe phoney nonchalant act, the streetwear, your insta aestheticâ youâre so scripted.â
âmy insta aesthetic?â he repeats, and doesnât miss a step to catch up to you. your hands are back on the handle of your shopping cart, and if the way his elbows bump into your shoulders bothers you, you donât make point in commenting on it. âwhoâs the lurker now, hm?â
you roll your eyes, pushing the strolley ahead, âdonât let it get to your big ass head. your feed screams youâre those toxic ass brent faiyaz wannabes,â he watches your fingertips rake through more clothings that pass your way, before you shoot him a glance, âlet me guessâ he showed on your spotify wrapped.â
his silence speaks volumes, and you click your tongue, âsee? scripted.â
âand what about you?â geto counters when you make a pit stop. you pull away from your cart when a denim skirt catches your eye. you lift the skirt up to your eyes, before looking over your shoulder, cocking a brow.
âwhat about me?â
âthe tweet reposts, the song choices for your highlights, the whole spiritual baddie persona,â he presses behind you, his chest meeting your back. he rests his chin atop your head, purple eyes landing on the clothing article thatâs lowering in your hold, âif my page gives brent then yours definitely gives jhene.â
youâre mute for a second, and you chuck the skirt into the cart. you pull away from beneath him, spinning on your feet to face him, and youâve got a scowl on your lips, âwhatâs wrong with jhene?â
âand you call me the toxic one.â geto pokes at your cheek. you swipe his hand away, and he laughs, âdonât get me wrong thoughâ she makes good music. but letâs not act like sheâs all innocent either,â his gaze lowers to your glossy lips, the fullness of the pair hypnotic, âa real freak. should i call you my pussy fairy?â
âdo not,â you reply, weaving around him to make your way back to your cart. geto laughs, snatching a few things of the racks before dumping them in your stuff. you give him a deadpanned look and he whistles it off, feigning ignorance. âjheneâs a lovergirl. thought i was part of the men ainât shit community.â
âyouâre not gonna let that go, are you?â geto sighs. he owes gojo another thump in the head.
you roll your eyes, âthank your homeboy for that.â
âtwo things can be true at once,â geto fiddles with the hem of his jacket. heâs back at walking step by step with you, and you havenât told him to fuck off yet, so heâs going to milk the opportunity out. âyouâre mean but a lovergirl. you hate men but a real freak with them. right or wrong?â
you halter in your steps, and getoâs now a few steps ahead of you, so he looks over his shoulder to meet your bored expression, âi know youâre not trying to read me in the middle of value village.â
âno better time than the present,â he smiles, one that creases a dimple in his cheeks. âcome on upâ what are you waiting for?â
you stare at him some more, inhaling sharply, âmind you, i never invited you to join me,â you shake your head but comply regardless. cute, looks like youâre enjoying his company more than youâre letting on.
so he graces you his presence some more. he shops along with you, sneaks clothes into your cart when youâre distracted and asks you stupid questions. itâs a good timeâ to him at least, being able to get to know you some more without interruptions. naturally, you feign that his company is the bane of your existence, but he doesnât miss the twitch of your lips when he taps his card into the reader at the check out.
hell yeah heâs got money to spend and is willing to show off if it means getting on your good side.
itâs only after he helps you bag your shit into your car, that he realizes this is where the both of you part ways. it annoys him slightly, but he doesnât need to overstep his boundaries. he closes your trunk and makes his way to the driverâs side, where youâre already buckled up.
he taps at your window and the glass rolls down all the way, to which he leans forward. heâs in your line of sight now and you sigh, tilting your head sideways, âwhat?â
âdo i get a goodbye kiss?â geto teases, honest, the boyish smirk he offers accentuating the playful undertone. the last thing he expects is you shifting in your seat, pushing yourself up and peaking your head out the window.
his smirk drops, brows jumping to his hairline. youâre really fucking close now, and for a split second he thinks youâre actually going to do it. he can see the flecks of colours swimming in your orbs, the tip of your nose bumps into his and your breath fans his cupidâs bow.
fuck, you smell really good. he bets you taste even better. his mouth is running dry, mindlessly darting his tongue out to wet his own lips. he doesnât realize heâs let himself lean into your space, eyes narrowing on your mouth parting over his.
heâs pulled out of his trance when two fingers press at his forehead and push. he blinks his lashes, snapping back to reality as you sit back into your seat. you look amusedâ as if youâd played the funniest game right in his face and heâd been the star player.
âiâll see you around, geto.â
and you drive off.
â â â
âcome back in a few weeks for a checkup. weâll make sure the healing process is running smoothly. iâll catch you soon.â
he lets out a tired sigh when the door finally closes, slumping into his seat and shuts his eyes. heâs exhaustedâ having woken up early for lectures and labs to back to back appointments with clients. this time around, the parlour is always booked and busy. students find it the perfect timing to get tatted to let it heal before showing it off in the summer.
itâs smart for them but idiotic for him. midterms are up, and the only time he has to study is in between appointments. he slides off his gloves and drags his seat towards his desk, redirecting his attention focus towards the blinding screen.
he feels a headache building at his temple, sipping at his iced coffee to keep him energized. contradicting, sure, but you didnât have the luxury to be a beggar and a chooser when you were a full time student. the parlour he ran resided in his loft apartment, on the second floor. he enjoyed the comfort of his own home, spacious room and wide windows compared to outside stores.
his cat, nanako, purrs at his feet and he feels his heart swell. if there was one weakness he had in this world, itâd be her. he picks her up from the floor, presses her at his rib cage and nuzzles his nose in her fur.
âhi baby,â geto coos, and nanako lets out a sound. he continues to coddle her, fluffing her fur and rubbing at her ears, âitâs been pretty lively in here, hasnât it? i knowww,â he coos, and as if nanako understands his words, she makes a pitiful sound that slightly shatters his heart.
geto decides to place her on his lap, her company serving plenty of motivation as he rolls back to his desk. he grabs the remote to his built-in speakers, turning the volume higher, before locking back in. exams are full of crap, and words are starting to jumble on his screenâ heâs beginning to contemplate if this education shit is even worth the stress.
heâs an hour deep in jolting notes down on his ipad when he hears a knock at his front door. he scrunches his brows and glances at his agendaâ he isnât due for an appointment until another few hours. he sits it out, starting to believe heâd maybe imagined the sound. he knows it isnât gojo since heâs celebrating an anniversary with his girl, and any other friend wouldâve called to let him know theyâre outside.
probably some jehovah witness shit, he thinks to himself, fingers hovering over his speaker remote to crank the volume back up. he turns back to his laptop screen, petting nanako mindlessly when his ipad flashes an instagram notification.
yourstruly.yn: open up
he jumps to his feet, chair rolling back. nanako flies to his desk, landing on all fours as she hisses at him for his suddenness. geto grabs her and kisses her ear, âsorry baby,â before sitting her on the floor. she walks off to her mini bean bag right at the foot of his desk, and he senses an attitude coming from her.
damn, heâd forgotten he squeezed you in last night in the midst of his sweet talking. that was truly a stupid move, he was already behind on studying, and because he likes to think with his head instead of his actual head, heâd fall even further behind.
he checks around the flatâ picks up stray wrappers and fixes throw pillows, arranges his sheets. he was a clean man for the most partâ he had been so distracted with his studies that there wasnât much to dirty in the first place. his candles had already been lit so he knew the place smelled fine. heâs pretty positive his loft is clean enough to leave a good first impression.
he fixes loose hairs and straightens out his hoodie and sweats. thank fuck heâd showered not too long agoâ heâs beginning to understand why his mother was always so insistent on being clean in case of random pop ups.
when he does finally open the door, there you stood. it was pretty chilly outside this time around, so he wasnât surprised by the harsh wind flowing in and the clutch of your coat in your hold. your nose began reddening, and you sniffled, scowling from the cold.
youâre so cute, he sends you a smile, âhey.â
âhi,â you replied, sniffling again. âyou ever planning on letting me in?â
âdunno,â he crosses his arms over his chest. he leans against the doorframe, ignoring the way he was starting to feel the frosty wind setting in his bones, âmaybe if you ask nicely.â
you shoot him a deadpanned look, âmove.â
âno.â geto smiles, âtry again.â
âmove, now.â a small pout is starting to form on your lips. he really liked testing your patience, since it always seemed to run low. you mustâve met your matchâ because geto always had time to fuck around.
âclose, but not quite.â
âoh my goddd,â you groan, and thatâs when he decides to let up. it really is colder than a bitch outside and heâd already kept you waiting while tidying up. he lets out a chuckle when you turn to the side, âiâm leavingâ too damn cold for this.â
âalright, iâm playing,â geto widens the door. you stop your movements and glare at him. he aims an arm towards the inside of his loft, âdonât go, come in.â
you grumble something beneath your breath but comply, walking right past him. he follows behind you, shutting the door close and is immediately greeted back with warmth. you slip your shoes off and place them on the rack, before stepping in further into his apartment.
he slides his hands into his sweatpantsâ pockets, catching up to you in the living room. your head is tilted upwards as you inspect the place though you remain in place. he stands beside you, bumping his shoulder into your arm, âso? up to your standards?â
youâre quiet for a while, letting your eyes roam around as the words build in your mind, âitâs typical,â you shrug but donât elaborate. youâve been staring at an art piece heâd done first year when he was fried out of his mind. you shift your gaze back to him, âwhere do i put my shit?â
âyou can leave it in my bedroom, if thatâs fine.â geto suggests and you nod wordlessly, to which he leads you to the second floor. heâs walking up the stairs and prays he doesnât fall flat on his faceâ his socks can be a real bitch sometimes.
you both make it to his bedroom, with you trailing a little behind. he grabs a hanger from his mobile clothing rack, stretching an arm out to you, âiâll hang your jacket here.â
you slide off the coat from your frame and hand it to him, to which he hangs on the rack. you circle around his bedroom with your tote on your shoulder, while he makes his way back to next to his desk. itâs pretty quiet for the most part, besides the music playing gently in the background.
your gaze lands on the cluttered items on his desk, noticing the half empty cup of coffee, notebooks and ipad on display, âdid i catch you at a bad time?â
âhonestly? yeah,â geto shrugs, before motioning at your tote bag. you slip it off and hand it to him, to which he sits at his nightstand, âbut itâs my fault anyway, i squeezed you in a busy time. you know how exam season gets.â
âi can always reschedule,â you offer, checking your phone screen for the date, âitâs not that deep.â
âi donât want you to leave,â geto slumps back into his seat and heaves out a sigh. he spins the chair around to catch you giving him a flat look. he leans back in his seat and spreads his thighs, smirking, âwould you stay?â
âdepends. are you going to be studying?â you quip, crossing your arms back to your chest.
geto ponders on what to say next. itâs not like he doesnât want to tatt you up, but he really is caught in a bind. he also doesnât want you to leaveâ not when heâs been wanting to see you since the last time heâd seen you. does he prioritize his wants or his needs?
he hums, âiâll do whatever you want me to.â
you roll your eyes, scoffing as you make your way to his nightstand. for a second, he thinks youâre getting ready to leave and a weird feeling of disappointment settles in his gut. instead, you grab the bag and sit on the edge of his bed, pulling out your macbook and crossing your legs.
he smiles at that, âattagirl.â
âcorny.â you mumble, chewing on your bottom lip as you begin typing away.
thereâs a comfortable silence that fills the room. heâs back to browsing through his lecture notes, noting down valuable information and memorizing terminology. you donât say anything either, but the sound of your nails typing at your keyboard blends well with his r&b playlist playing. sounds like youâre writing down an essay or report, depending on whatever your major is.
about half an hour into the silence, does he decide to break it. he looks over his shoulder to where youâre settled on his bed, âyou good?â he checks up on you, and you let out a burnt out sigh. he knows exactly how youâre feeling.
âi guess,â you huff, twirling your necklace. your eyes are stuck on your screen, brows creasing into a scowl, âthis shit is frying my brain though.â
âwhat are you writing?â he indulges, dropping his apple pen back onto his desk and spins in his seat to face you. maybe heâs also in due of a breakâ heâd rather be talking to you anyway.
âthis crim report,â you answer, picking at your nail, âitâs not exactly hard but mad lengthy. i have to write a ten page report based on this article and how it contradicts societal norms.â
âten pages?â geto whistles, rubbing at his chin. heâs settled deeper in his seat, naturally manspreading. youâre much better than him, he wouldâve given up before even startingâ reports were not his thing, âhow far are you in?â
âi started this morning,â you hum, âso iâm four pages in.â
geto nods, âand when is it due?â
âtomorrow night.â you push your laptop off your lap. you close the screen shut and stretch out your legs, releasing a breathy moan as you relax your thighs. âiâll do this shit laterâ my headâs starting to hurt.â
geto swears heâs never been so in sync in thought. he dismisses the idea of studying the second you had closed your macbook. probably a bad idea but at the moment, he couldnât care any less, âwant some entertainment?â
you cock a brow, âdonât say no stupid shit.â
âtwenty one questions,â geto speaks nonetheless and finds himself beaming brightly when you scoff, âcanât a guy want to get to know you better?â
you ease yourself on his bed, slumping into his sheets as you exhale. you shift onto your sideâ a sinful curve at your sideâ tucking your knees and lean your head into your palm, âoh fuck off,â a breathless laugh and nanako makes her presence known, hopping right by you in the space between your body and the edge of the bed, âdidnât know you had a cat. sheâs cute.â
âhowâd you know she was a she?â geto wonders, surprised just slightly by how welcoming nanako was around you. she purred when you stroke at her fur, nuzzling further into your chest. nanako hated everyoneâ especially gojo, who unironically visited the most.
âinstinct,â you shrugged but thereâs a faint smile on your lips. not directed towards him, but his baby, âi also have a catâ heâs a fucking menace though.â
thatâs one thing in common already, âlike mother like son,â geto grins lazily when you flip him off mindlessly, and when you raise nanako in both your hands, heâs ready to warn you she isnât a big fan of sudden movementsâ but when she mewls, the same sound she makes when geto brings home a new toy, the words die down in his throat.
he observes you both silently. you cradle nana as if she were a newborn infant, adoring and loving yet simultaneously careful and steadily. youâre cooing, calling her a sweet girl and rubbing at her ear, and nanako accepts you rather easilyâ too easily.
âwoah.â was this those non-sexual turn ons people spoke about? for somebody so mean, you were oddly gentle with pets. he liked thatâ really liked that, so much that he pulls his phone out and snaps a photo of you two. but of course, because the universe loves to see him fumble, the flash goes off.
your head snaps to the side and he freezes. you narrow your eyes at him, slowly lowering nanako, âdid you justââ
âso!â geto cuts you off, chucking his phone back onto his desk. it makes a loud cluttering sound, damn near knocks his drink all over, but ignores it, âmy turn. whatâs your catâs name?â
âmilo. and donât cut me offââ
âmilo the menace,â he cuts you off regardless, not wanting to have to decipher just what exactly possessed him to do that. heâs never done so, and he wasnât about to explain why heâd done it just now. deflecting king! âi need to see the little guy. got any pics?â
you huff, extending a hand behind you to find your phone. when you clutch onto the device, you swing your legs off the bedside, always careful with nanako clinging to your lap. you lay her down on the floor, much to her dismay, before making your way towards him.
his eyes are stuck on your body before his mind can tell him to stop. not like it mattered much, your own eyes glued to your phone screen as you searched for the pictures heâd asked. youâve got a matching tracksuit onâ though the hoodie is cropped, thus exposing your navel piercing. heâd always had a thing for those, the pretty good jewel dangling below the button.
it didnât help that your thong straps sat atop your waist.
he spreads his legs further open, and you stop right in between. for a moment, youâre stuck on your phone, and geto really wants to get those thighs straddling him. you look delectableâ heâd pin your knees to your damn ears, sprawled on your back, and eat you out until you pleaded him to stop.
your hair was pulled back into a bun, and from this angle, he spotted scripture at the column of your neck. there was wording inked in arabic, and he made a mental note to ask you what it meant later.
geto leans back into his seat when you fold forwards, and he gets a good whiff of your vanilla scented perfume, tingling his senses in the best way, âfound it?â
you nod your head, swiping through your gallery, âyeah, my bad,â you have a folder named âmimiâ and as expected, was filled off candid photos of your cat. he pays attention as you slide your finger on your screen, selfies of you both in the morning passing by.
âcute,â he isnât talking about the cat, and his gaze flicks from the screen to your face. thereâs still a considerate amount of space between you both, but he can see your eye colour much clearer this close up. you blink your lashes at him and he smirks, âanything else you wanna show me?â
you sniff, âdonât be gross.â
âi meant of milo,â geto definitely didnât mean of milo. you cock a brow skeptically, and he mirrors the look, though the smile on his face grows, âwhat a cute lil thing,â his voice lowers and his words trail off. thereâs a beat of a pause for a while, and his gaze falls on the plumpness of your lips, âyou gonna let me pet your kitty?â
another beat of silence. youâre staring at his lips, and he wonders what youâre thinking. he can tell youâve picked up on what heâs laying down (hopefully you in the next few minutes) but he canât tell what your next move will be.
âdepends. . .â a soft whisper, and he feels your breath fanning over his cupidâs bow. you flick your eyes back at him, and he finally understands the whole siren eyes shit. through lidded eyes, your stare is intenseâ simultaneously pulling him in closer while pushing him back. youâre toying with him, and the hand he slides up from your thigh to your ass is enough fuel. âyou any good?â
he brings a second hand to the other ass cheek, and urges you onto his lap. you comply, looping your arms at the back of his neck. he feels your nails grazing at his scalp and he holds back a lethal shudder. your weight feels amazing against himâ his hard on poking and making its presence well aware.
âiâd like to think i am,â he knows he is, but playing humble always goes a long way. he lets his hands run over the cup of your ass, trails back up to your hips, and slides a finger beneath the thong strap. when he snaps the material at your skin, your back arches and you press your chest against his own.
âwell,â you exhale when he noses into the crook of your neck, right above your tattoo. heâs littering wet kisses at your hot skin, your taste ever so sweet against his tongue. god, you must taste divine. at your jugular, heâs able to imprint your perfume into his mind. âonly one way to find out.â
geto hums at that, relishing in the way you moan at a particular suck, and focus on nibbling at that spot once more. youâre tilting your head for easier access, hips grinding against his own for better friction. your hands are soft and cautiousâ they trail from his nape down to his chest, and further down to his waistband.
heâs on go, ready for whatever timing youâre on. though, it doesnât take a genius to figure out by the way your fingertip traces right above his pelvis, that youâre both on the same page. he drags his lips from the column of your neck up to your jaw, and stops right above your parted lips.
he has another cocky remark on the tip of his tongue, in typical suguru fashion, but you beat him to the chase, glossy lips pressing against his. the kiss is short and definitely leaves him wanting more when you pull back as soon as youâd leaned inâ but youâre a mere centimetre away.
you whisper, not before another kiss, âdonât disappoint me, suguru.â
and heâs never ran into bed so fast.
â â â
the door slams shut.
heâs left with a painfully hard reminder in his sweats that he fucked up bad. he thinks he dissociated a little between the labia flapping to the coat zipping. itâs only when he notices that instead of hearing lip smacking sounds, he hears bryson tillerâs lame ass (no shade, his ego is simply wounded), that you really left.
fuck.
geto rushes back to his bedroom, the walk of shame up the steps enough to make him want to jump offâ as he takes out his phone, immediately goes through his contact list and presses on the name. it rings twice before the call gets picked up.
âyooo!â
âyou still busy?â geto asks, voice hoarse as he flops down on the edge of the bedâ his now empty bed. damn.
ânah, just dropped off wifey,â gojo replies. he hears music playing faintly in the back, as well as the sounds of honking. he must still be in the car, âwhy, whatâs up?â
âi fucked up.â geto sighs, running a hand over his face.
âoh?â he isnât surprised to find out gojoâs surprised. heâs still surprised by how the events turned out and itâs barely been ten minutes, let alone five. âsay no more, iâm on my way.â
geto hangs up. he throws the phone away, before falling flat onto his bed. he picks up your scent on his sheets, your warmth slowly disappearingâ another painful reminder he messed up. where heâs expecting a wet patch of anything on his duvets, he finds nothing. zip. nada.
his eyes fall shut, âshit.â
â â â
âand thatâs pretty much the gist of it all.â
he exhales a cloud of smoke. more silence. getoâs starting to get sick of all this silence. it was radio silence with you and now even more radio silence from gojo. his hand never stops to rub at nanako, whoâs been serving as a cuddling partner in this grand moment of crisis. the only person to ever have his back.
so, geto knew that confiding in his best friend this secret of his would be risky for a multitude of reasons. for starters, geto never fucks up. this would be ultimate blackmail content for him, and geto honestly doesnât blame him. for two, he was just giving gojo shit about never having eaten pussy. thatâs just downright humiliating. and for three, he has a girlfriend who he doesnât keep anything from. on top of thatâ his girlfriend is friends with the main culprit here.
overall a bad idea. he does it nonetheless, because satoru is his best friend despite it all. he isnât too shocked when the silence is filled with bellyaching laughter, though.
âwaitâ iâm cryinggg,â more laughter. gojoâs now kicked his feet off the couch and is doubling forward. his shades bounce off his head and hit the leg of the coffee table. he doesnât pause his laughing fit one bit, not even when geto throws a throw pillow his way.
it bounces off his big head and geto scoffs, bringing the joint back to his lips, âoh fuck off.â
âmy fault man,â gojo apologizes though he doesnât sound apologetic. heâs leaning forward to grab his shades back, and heâs back to swiping stray tears. âthat was a good laughâ shit.â
geto hums at that, extending the blunt towards him,âglad to hear my misery has brought you entertainment.â
âsee, you get it!â gojo jokes, welcoming the joint. seems like he got cocky, however, his laughing mood not quite over as he inhales. he quickly chokes on the smoke, which fades back into cackling, âoh shitââ
geto sneers, annoyance quickly rising, âquit fucking around or pass it back.â he was being pissy, yes, but his pride had been curb stomped. and it hadnât even been an hour ago!
ânah, nah, iâm good,â gojo waves him off, despite his free hand tapping at his chest. he collects himself soon enough, and takes another hit. this time itâs successful. geto lowkey hoped it would get caught in his throat again.
âsooo,â gojo drags out, melting into the couch, âwhat now.â
âwhat now?â geto parrots.
âwhatâs the next move?â gojo elaborates, fingertip tapping at the blunt, and ashes fall into the tray. the end of the stick crumbles in the same way getoâs ego had earlier. âyouâre gonna keep letting her think you suck at giving head?â
geto throws his head back and sighs tiredly, âwhat else is there to do?â he hears the sound of sizzling in the background, âi fumbled bad, bro. you donât think she already posted about me in her girlsâ private story?â more sizzling and exhaling, âiâm the storytime of the day!â
he feels gojo nudge his thigh with his foot. he looks back and the joint is presented to him. he gladly accepts it.
âwhat even happened?â gojo wonders. and oh boy, if that isnât the question of the day. geto is still trying to find the answer to that. had it been out of nervousness? had he gotten too cocky? had it been her?
âi honestly wish i could answer that,â geto slips the roach into his mouth. âi didnât feel nervous until after i realized she wasnât fazed,â he drags out a hit and ghost inhales, âmaybe it was a sign from aboveâ to shut the fuck up sometimes.â
âmaybe,â gojo snorts, throwing his legs over getoâs lap. nanako hisses at the intrusion, but the white haired man ignores her, âdonât let yourself go out sad like this. hit her back upâ whatever happened to loving challenges?â
âwhat kind of fucked up ass challenge is this?â geto mumbles, mainly to himself.
âif i was in your shoesâ which iâd never be,â because heâs gojo, he feels the need to add, âiâd put my pride aside and talk to her. like no homo shit, but youâre a great eaterâ yeah, no, iâm taking that back instantly.â
geto looks as horrified as he feels, âquickly, even.â
of course, gojo laughs but proceeds, âthe point is, you know youâre good at it. everybody fucks up once in a whileâ donât let it define you though. think of it as a minor setback for a major comebackâ if you care enough, youâll put your pride aside and do something about it. if youâre this down about it, then it must mean something to you.â
geto canât tell anymore whether gojoâs talking about the failed pussy eating attempt or you. regardless, he knows thereâs truth to his words. has to be the weed talking.
âand who made you the pussy connoisseur?â geto snorts, pressing the bud of his joint in the tray. it sizzles weakly as he kills it, starting to feel that high course through his veins.
gojo sighs dreamily, âwhy my lovely lady, of course.â
âlooks like she taught you well,â geto relaxes himself into the tight space of the couch, settling nanako on his chest. itâs now his turn to nudge gojo with his foot, his sock-cladded toe digging at his jaw. âwoulda never expected this from a rookie just a few months ago.â
âwell duh,â gojo swipes his foot away, âi aced that course. got my phD in cunningulusophy and all. even won valedictorian.â
geto laughs, resting his lids. he was starting to feel sleepy, indica will do that to you, âenroll me in whatever class you tookâ i may need to slut myself out for extra credit. my profâs a tough nut to bust.â
âintro to munch 101,â gojo nods his head, shutting his eyes close as well. thereâs a comfortable silence that fills the air for a while. and despite the fact that his sight manipulated, he could hear the smirk dripping off his tone, âif you ever need a letter of recommendation, i got youâ alumniâs honour.â
âoh fuck off,â a mixed harmony of laughter and vibrating chests.
â â â
fun fact: suguru geto loves showers.
the aroma of cleanliness enhanced by thick fog. the scorching water droplets trickling down his skin, the vulnerability of his nakedness inside these four walls. he strangely feels most at ease, most raw in this moment of solitude.
heâs able to gather himself too. there isnât much to accomplish in a shower once youâve gotten rid of the dayâs dirt. so, he likes to take the opportunity to think. to think deep and hard.
his mindâs all scrambled up. itâs been about three days since you were last in his apartment, two days since heâd thought about it, and a day since he last seen you (granted itâd been on your story, virtually, but still).
this has been the biggest feat heâs faced in a while. if he recaps it, this is whatâs he gotten: he invited you over. you came the next day. he didnât cater to you the sole reason you came. you didnât mind. you both studied for a bit. he asked about your cat. you ended up on his lap. he ended up in bed with you. you ended up leaving with a chunk of his dignity.
that didnât explain shit, but it did remind him of his failure. it reminded him that heâd finally met his match. it reminded him he needs to start backing his shit up. it reminded him of how good you smelled and tasted down there. it reminded him of how pretty you looked.
his cock twitches and he glances down. it also reminds him he never ended up cumming, too engrossed in his anxiety to jerk one out.
he feels as though the glass doors of his shower protect him from reality. heâs hard, though mortified, but still hard. heâd spent a long time (two days) suppressing the memory away, but there was no way to mistaken your taste on his tongue. how sweet you smelled. how soft you feltâ
geto fists at his dick before he can help it. his free hand plants at the wall before him, and he works his wrist. he twists at his shaft slowly and closes his eyesâ behind his lids are photographic memories of you on his lap. memories of you on his bed. memories of the scent of your panties. memories of your tits in his mouth.
sure, youâd made more sounds off the foreplay for the foreplayâ but that didnât take away how turned on heâd been. how his dick twitched in his boxers. how heâd humped the mattress. how heâd moan in your cunt.
ây/n,â geto moans your name, sinful yet hushed, his hand working faster. his thumb grazes his over slit and his gut drowns in heat. he wants a redo. he deserves a redoâ you deserved a redo. âfuckkkk,â
next time, heâll get it right. and if he doesnât, then heâll want to try again and again and againâ until it ends with your cunt clenching around his tongue and his face sprayed vigorously in your essence. until your thighs tremble around his face, your hand clawing at his hair and your back arched off his bed. until his name bounces off his walls and echoes so loudly his neighbours complain.
he wants a redo.
he jerks back as he paints the tiles white. the joints in his hand ache, the water from the shower head getting colder. geto pants heavily, chest heaving as his load is released from him. his cum drips from the wall and into the drain at his feetâ but his dick is far from well spent. if he spends another hour in the shower, itâs nobodyâs business but his own.
suguru geto loves showers.
â â â
âoh. you actually showed.â
âredo,â geto pants, having sprinted from his apartment. heâd spent the next three days after his shower incident wallowing some moreâ at some point, it just annoyed him. though slightly underwhelming, he was on his phone in bed a few minutes ago, going through his camera roll when heâd seen that picture he took of you and nanako. his feet guided him to his car before he could help it. choso helped him out with the address.
âredo?â you parrot his words, leaning against your doorframe. you crossed your arms over your chest, and itâs only then he noticed your appearanceâ flimsy camisole and pink lace panties. fuck, he wants a redo now.
âi want a redo.â geto repeats, but is quickly hit with a gust of wind. he hadnât brought a jacket with him in the midst of his impulse, and goosebumps were beginning to form at his skin. he shoots his shot, âyou ever planning on letting me in?â talk about deja vu.
âdunno,â you play along, eyes narrowing. âmaybe if you ask nicely.â
swallow your pride, he hears gojo somewhere in the back of his mind. he shakes that thought off quickly. this desperation had to be bigger than a pride issueâ he was ready to get on his knees and beg her to let him in. pride? that had been drained to the sewers the second he busted all over his shower days ago.
âlemme in and iâll make it up to you,â geto tries instead, taking a step closer, âplease?â
that seemed to be the correct answer as you push open the door to your apartment further. you turn your back and geto lets himself drink up your backsideâ he hadnât seen it last time but you had dimples sitting right above your perky ass. he watches your hips sway left and right, and even tilt your head back, a smirk etched on your face, âyou cominâ?â
you will be, âcute.â his lips twitch into a small smile, and closes the door behind him.
â â â
fool him once? shame on him.
geto doesnât allow himself to make the same mistakes twice. if one fuck up is enough to tear him down for a week straight then why the hell would he do it again?
youâre sprawled on your back, legs spread with enough space to fit his body in between. his hands plant on either side of your face, his bulge pushed up against your core. he feels your warmth through these layers of clothes, and he rolls his hips greedily, feeling himself already grow addicted. your chin is raised high, lids blown open as you stare at him all doe-eyed.
his brows pinch in the centre of his forehead. that faux look of innocence youâre offering is doing wonders to his dick. your tits sit beautifully beneath your top, arms back on him as you pull him in closer, and he lets himself fall prey to you. for a moment, the tip of his nose bumps into yours, lips ghosting over the other, hips colliding to meet yours.
âmhm, thatâs it.â you let out a sigh, throwing your head back into your pillows. thereâs an opening to your neck calling his name, and geto wastes no time to latch his lips there. he slips a hand beneath your tank top, fingernails grazing over your skin to creep up to your mounds. he flicks a thumb over the bud and you sigh blissfully againâ he then cups the flesh.
he loves the way you squirm when he kisses down your body, âi got you, pretty,â stripped from your cami, his lips leave open mouthed marks all over your skin. from the column of your neck, to your breasts, down your torso and past your navel, âlet me take care of you.â the lower he gets, the more intense your rawness reeksâ and itâs a damned good smell.
he lands right above your clothed pelvis, and he inhales sharply. he wonât make the same mistake this time, he can feel it. thereâs something lingering in the air, something indescribableâ but heâs confident he wonât. because when he skips your cunt in favour to pamper your inner thighs, dragging his wet tongue all over erogenous zones, he spots dampening right where your clit would be.
bingo.
your hand cradles his hair, and the other props your body up by the elbow. he glances up at you, cock throbbing against your mattress. your beauty still renders him speechlessâ runs his throat dry and makes his tongue feel heavy. he doesnât want to decipher what this means either, and decides to conclude heâs simply thirsty for you.
âsuguru,â you call at him. he blinks and the hand in his hair snakes down his neck, and pushes him deeper. his nose nudges at your throbbing clit, and his tongue peeks out of his mouth to lick at the damp material before he can help it. two fingers hook at your panties and push them to the side, revealing glistening folds. your slick drips between your crack and stains your sheets. he thinks he hears his stomach growl a little.
another swipe of his tongue, this time in contact with the raw you, and a breathless moan rips from you, âdonât disappoint me this time.â
and he feasts.
â â â
gojoâs woken up to a notification from his phone.
itâs still pretty lateâ or maybe early, and his pretty girlfriend is miles away in lalaland. she snores softly, cuddling into his side, and gojoâs ready to cuss out whoever dares potentially meddle with his girlâs sleep. heâs starting to get grumpy.
when his phone undergoes face recognition, he lowers the brightness immediately. he swipes through his notification center and notices an attachment sent by geto.
now that peeks his interest. he presses on the message.
suguboo: [1 attachment]
suguboo: passed intro2munch101 with an A+ đ«Ą
gojo canât help the laugh that leaves him, though is quickly quieted down when he feels stirring at his side.
âwell iâll be damned.â
yes, gojo is obsessed with his girlfriend. also 10k words on geto???
#renaâstar.#geto suguru smut#geto suguru x reader#geto x reader#geto smut#geto x you#geto suguru x you#jjk smut#jjk oneshot#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen smut#geto oneshot
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Little doe.
Cregan Stark x betrothed Velaryon!reader
Summary: the reader is everything Cregan isn't- soft, kind, and delicate. He's determined to be gentle.
Warnings: age gap, soft dominance, talk of blood and consummating a marriage, bedding ceremony
A/n: This one is fluff and stuff. Perhaps a part two with a little smut is needed đ€
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......................................................
Cregan was only a tad worried.
The journey back to Winterfell was almost silent, and he was beginning to grow concerned for the quiet woman seated on her horse next to him.
The Velaryon Princess.
After winning the war, young Aegon III honored his motherâs promise to the Stark: help win the war, and he could have the hand of the Princess.
Rhaenyraâs only daughter.
When Daemon had found out about his wifeâs bargaining while he was away in Harrenhall, he was furious. The child was not his and still he felt a responsibility for her. And handing off the only daughter to a dynasty like this one felt wrong.
But that was then. And this is now.
Creganâs horse brushed against hers. âNervous?â
Her head turned, her eyes moving over his face as if taking in every inch of him.
He now realized just how much she looked like her brothers.
She was the second eldest child, between Jace and Luke, and yet she was nothing like the two. Her parents (all four of them) had kept her from even the hint of conflict and battle, and it showed. She was more graceful and delicate, soft-spoken and kind, not an experienced warrior who could lead against the greens with an iron fist.
Thatâs what worried the Stark.
He was quite a bit her elder, her now 18 and him being 24. A lot of change happens in a mere six years- for Cregan, he had fought and won a whole war in less time than that of their age gap. And because of his well fought war, he was more harsh.
He feared he couldnât be the gentle husband she needed.
She hummed, as if that was answer enough for him. The soft clomping of their horses was the only sound between them.
He sighed. âI believe I asked you a question. Itâs rude to ignore someone, Princess.â
Her eyes widened. She hadnât meant offense by her actions. In fact, she was rather mortified that he had taken offense to it in the first place. âPerhaps a bit nervous,â she admitted softly.Â
Her voice was soft and calm. It was everything Cregan was not used to.
He hummed back, not even aware that he was doing the very thing he criticized her for. âWinterfell is only a dayâs right out. Thereâs not a reason for nerves.â
âIâve not⊠Iâve not been away from Dragonstone or Kingâs Landing before,â she mumbled.
Cregan was surprised by that. But being the sheltered princess, he assumed there was much she didnât know about. âYou are in for an adventure then, little dragon.â
âŠ
Outside of the castle doors, Cregan dismounted his horse and stepped to the princess. Without question or concern, he grabbed her by her hips and lifted her from her horse. Her body slid down his as he lowered her, their faces too close for comfort for either of them. As if in slow motion, her lips parted but no sound came out. She didn't know what to say.
Cregan's large hand brushed hair away from her face and his eyes set on her like a starved wolf- observant, and yet, ready to strike anything at a moment's notice.
His head dipped down, his nose brushing her temple as he took in the proximity of the two. "We'll marry soon," he remarked quietly.
Another hum came from her but he let it slide. It sounded more like the squeak of a frightened mouse and he would be an arse for ridiculing her for it. In fact, it amused him. His lips tugged up into a grin as his hands tightened on her waist. "You're not a big, strong dragon," he mused. He bent down a little more to whisper in her ear. "You're just a frightened deer."
Her big doe eyes stared up into his in anticipation and worry for his next move. She may have been innocent, but she was not dumb. She knew what powerful men did to women when they so choose.
His lips quirked up. "Can I kiss you, little doe?" He asked as his lips brushed her cheek.
She tilted her head down in embarrassment but Cregan caught her chin.Â
"So soft," he mused kindly. "I can be patient."
He released her and her lungs finally filled with air. She rested a hand against the horse in an attempt to collect herself. He offered his arm politely, though his eyes said that it was expected of her to take it.
Together, they walked into Cregan's home.
âŠ
"Knew I'd find you eventually," his deep voice interrupted the silence.
She gasped. Her hand dropped from the shelf she was admiring the contents of. "Lord Stark. Forgive me."
He shrugged. "Don't know why I would need to. Just a curious doe, hm?"
She shook her head insistently. "I only meant-"
"-Please," he smiled as he took slow steps to her. "My home is yours now. Don't apologize for being in your home."
She smiled lightly. "Thank you."
He reached out and took the carefully bound book in her hand. "Stark history," he noted. He flipped it back and forth. "Are you truly interested?"
She nodded.
He smiled- a genuine one. "I'm glad." He held it out for her to take again. But when her hand reached out, he pulled it back teasingly. When her face fell and her hand hesitated, he finally handed it to her. "If you want more, I can manage a few of the-"
"-Please," she insisted.Â
His eyes traced her face and he nodded. "Course. Consider it done." He closed the distance and dipped his head down, kissing her head without much thought.
As he walked off, her hand came up to the spot he had just kissed.
âŠ
During the entire wedding feast, she was lightheaded. The ceremony had her numb. But what really sold it all was Cregan's heavy kiss on her lips at the end of it. He had cupped her cheeks and gave her a weighted kiss. Like he was hungry. Like he'd consume her.
She tried to eat even a little of what was in front of her, but she couldn't. The back of Cregan's hand brushed her hair over her shoulder. "Eat."
She looked over to him with a questioning look. "I am."
He smiled, completely amused. His hand found a comfortable place to the back of her neck. "Staring at everyone else does nothing."
"I have not-"
His voice rumbled as he muttered her name. "I placed more on your plate minutes ago and you've yet to even notice."
"W-" True to his word, there was additional food on her plate. Her eyes bore into his. "Forgive me. I d-"
His thumb rubbed into the skin at the back of her neck. "-'s alright. But eat."
She hummed then paused and forced herself to give him a verbal answer. "I will."
He smiled, beginning to massage the nape of her neck. For someone so harsh, his hands were gentle.
âŠ
She let out a shriek when the men finally set her down in the chamber. Cregan was already in there, ushered by the women. They had managed to get him down to his tunic and trousers. His head snapped to her when he heard the noise.Â
He lightly shoved away the hands of the woman untying the strings of his tunic. He stepped through the small crowd of men with light shoves until he was next to Y/n.
She had been stripped of all but her shift, her hair tousled from its neat updo earlier. There was a slight fear to her eyes that worried Cregan.Â
He pushed off the men enough to give the two room. He circled her and pulled her to him. With his chest against her back, his head lowered to kiss her neck. The men hollared and cheered, all excited that the Stark had begun the bedding ceremony.
His kisses trailed up her neck until his lips brushed her ear. "Are you scared?" He asked so lowly that only those two could hear. "I'll call it off."
She felt frozen, her eyes stuck on the ground.
He nipped at her ear, his hand slowly brushing down her forearm until he joined their hands together. "Squeeze my hand and I'll do it."
She had to force herself to wiggle each finger until she was able to finally squeeze his hand.
"Go," he muttered immediately against her neck to the others. There was a hesitation in the room. Like perhaps they hadn't heard him right.
Cregan's head raised slowly, taking in the room. His gaze was truly wolfish.
The room emptied after that.
When the door closed, Cregan's hands dropped from her body. He moved away, going to the small table against the wall and pouring himself a drink. He looked back with a questioning look if she wanted one, to which she denied.
Downing the cup, he filled it again and took it with him to move back to her. She had yet to move.
He stepped in front of her. "Are you afraid?"
Y/n lifted her chin to finally look at him. There was a glazed look in her eyes, though there were no tears. She took a breath to brave saying what she wanted. "Does it matter?"
His head lulled to the side with a sigh and a smile. He looked down at the content of the cup and swirled it before offering it.
Her fingers wrapped around it and she soon downed the contents.
"I will never force myself on you," he promised. He ran a hand through his hair. "Us North, we can be⊠brude-ish. I forget you were made with gentle hands." He takes the cup back. "Need more?"
She shook her head. And when he moved away, she walked to the bed and sat down.
Cregan soon joined her. He sat next to her and the two stared at the wall. He twiddled his thumbs awkwardly until he figured out what he wanted to say. "You're the most delicate woman I've ever known. I'm not sure what to do with you. I want to hold you but⊠my hands have never cradled anything. You understand?"
She nodded, picking at a string on her shift.
His hand covered hers. His head dipped down. "Give me a better answer than that."
She looked to him. "I do understand."
He accepted that. "Thank you." He gently pinched her chin between his fingers. Cregan's eyes darkened at the proximity of the two. His eyes raked over her face carefully, taking in every part of her. "Most beautiful doe I've ever laid eyes on."
âŠ
"C'mere," Cregan motioned.
Y/n moved to him.Â
The two had grown more familiar with one another. The consummation of their marriage remained undone, though neither cared. Cregan, the night of the wedding, had ruffled his wife's hair and slashed his hand to spread blood across the sheets. The North was none the wiser.
It was especially believable with how close the two had grown- though that was entirely unplanned.
When she neared the desk, he stood and offered his chair. He leaned over it to talk over her shoulder. "Look here."Â
On Cregan's large wooden desk lay a large fabric with stitching in a webbing pattern, names scattered everywhere across it.
It was a Stark family tree.
His hand reached over her and brushed the fabric. "Here I am. And my brother- before he died. Father there, and mother." His hand came back to his spot, brushing idly. "I'll have your name sewn in soon."
She leaned back in the chair. "I thought that was reserved until a woman has given you children?"
He shrugged without a care. "You are my wife."
She wanted to argue further but his fingers had wandered to her hair, twirling around the soft locks slowly. He looked rather entranced as he admired the woman. She cleared her throat. "According to the law, this marriage is not legally binding yet."
"Yet. Not yet." He leaned over the backrest. "But if I recall right, I banished the law from our bed. The priests and lawmakers. Because you asked me to."
She shivered, leaning forward to escape the overwhelming feeling of him consuming her every thought.
Cregan twirled one last curl in his hand before letting it fall. He stepped around the desk to face her. "I'll have you stitched into the fabric within the fortnight. I don't need a child to prove that you're mine." He stretched. "I'm off to petitions. Tell me you'll miss me."
Her lips pulled up into a happy smile. "I cannot lie and say that I won't."
He accepted that. "It's almost beginning to sound like you love me."
She flushed.Â
Rheanyra had never loved Laenor. Not⊠not like that. Alicent had never loved Viserys. Helaena and Aegon⊠Never was a political marriage as filled with admiration as this. It frightened her.
She had heard tales of men bedding mistresses, and wives with other men than their husband. It was normal in a sense to do so. But now, in front of Cregan, she couldn't imagine her soul surviving if Cregan loved another. And to cheat on him would be to cheat on everything she loves. Everything she l-
She loved him.
It hit her harshly.Â
Her silence had confused Cregan. "Didn't mean much by it, Doe. Only jesting."
If only he knew her heart already belonged to him and him alone.
.............................................
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heyyy can i request angst with drew, maybe they had a fight (totally a misunderstanding bc yk how we get when weâre on our period đ) and he was just really mean to her, she feels real bad abt and later he apologizes plss đ
love your writing!!!
apologies in the after math ⯠DREW STARKEY
authors note hi, thank you for your kind words. i hope you enjoy reading lovies. so close to 2k of you all, oh my gosh, i'm so grateful!!
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summary its the time of month and you get overstimulated easily. drew and you have a little argument that leads you two for not talking for a bit till he comes into your shared room.
warning(s) being on your period, crying, arguing, cussing.
You started your period yesterday and have not been in the best. Your mood swings vary every single time during your periodâŻdonât know what mood youâll be. You've been lying on the heating pad since four in the morningâŻYou're going through it now.Â
The cloudy weather makes you feel peaceful, and you're snuggled up on the couch, watching movies to distract yourself from the cramps. This is your typical routine on your period because you donât have a lot of energy to do anything in the very beginning.
Drew left the gym around seven in the morning and was heading home. He went with Chase, one of his Outer Banks castmates. He texted you that he was only around the corner from the house.
Drew came to the house, put his stuff down, stepped into the living room, kissed you on the cheek, and asked if you wanted to join him in the shower to ease your cramps.
"Come with me, baby; it will feel good," Drew encourages, kneeling in front of you and leaning forward, reaching, softly caressing your lower back.
Drew does everything he can to ensure your well-being during your period. He despised seeing you in pain and discomfort. He secretly brought you coffee, donuts, and your favorite flowers the last time you were on your period. He also respects your boundaries.
"I don't see why not," you shrugged, removing the blanket from your body and folding it before following Drew down the hall to your shared bathroom.Â
A few hours go by, you are in one of your negative mood swings. You woke up from an hour nap. Drew and you had a fightâŻthe fight began over something pointless. Of course it did. Drew had left his shoes in the middle of the hallway yet again, and as you stumbled over them, something inside you cracked.Â
Drew casually dismissed your aggravation with a lazy, "Relax, it's just shoes," lightly chuckling, and you let out a rush of pent-up frustration.
"You're always doing this, Drew! You have no regard for anyone else's space or time. It's like, "Geez, are you even trying?"
His jaw tensed as he put down the drink he was holding. "Are you serious right now?" His tone was cut as a warning. "You're overreacting."
"Don't you dare tell me I'm overreacting," you said, your face flushing. "Maybe if you actually paid attention for onceâ"
"Fine!" he said abruptly, cutting you off. His voice rose, intense. "Do you want me to pay attention? Fine. But maybe you should quit looking for reasons to start a fight. Not everything is a major issue, you know."
The words felt like a slap. Tears welled up in your eyes before you could stop them, and you fought to let them fall. You stood paralyzed, unable to speak due to the lump in your throat. Drew inhaled sharply, raking a hand through his hair and muttering something under his breath.
As time passed you didnât say a word to Drewâboth of you were quiet. You stayed in your shared bedroom scrolling through tiktok. Drew was somewhere in the house doing something.
There was a soft knock at the door, "Hey," Drew said, hesitantly and quietly.
You didnât answer. Part of you wanted to stay stubborn, but the crack in his tone made your resolve falter.Â
The door creaked open, and you could hear his cautious feet. "I'm sorry," he added, bringing his voice closer. "I should not have spoken to you like that. "I didn't mean it."
You peered out from beneath the cover, seeing his sorrowful gaze. His hands were stuffed in his pockets, and his hair was ruffled, as if he had raked his fingers through it in irritation.
"I was out of line," he added, crouching near the bed. "I just lashed out." That is on me."
Drew continues to explain he was even more out of line knowing you are on your period and you have these little moments where you arenât in the best of moods. He was validating your feelings, putting the blame on himself. However, you shouldnât react that way to begin with.
The honesty in his tone made your throat clench.
"I'm sorry, too," you said quietly. "I didn't intend to provoke a fight. "I just..." I've been feeling lousy all day and took it out on you. "I should not have done that."
Drew shook his head softly. "No, do not do it. You are free to express how you feel. "I just want to be better for you."
He grabbed your hand and lovingly squeezed it. "Will you come out with me? "I have something to show you."
Curiosity got the best of you. The wonders of what he has for you. Was he doing something to make up for the altercation? So many things running through your mind.Â
When you entered the dining room, your breath hitched. The table was set with your favorite dinner, and candles flickered softly in the dark lighting. An arrangement of your favorite flowers was placed in the center, their beautiful fragrance filling the air.
"I know it doesn't erase what I said," Drew replied softly, caressing the back of his neck. But I wanted to make it up to you. You mean everything to me, and I detest the thought of you thinking I don't care,â wrapping his arms around your waist, kissing your cheek a few times.
Your eyes welled up again, but this time with glad tears. You hugged him firmly and buried your face in his chest.
"Thank you," you replied softly. "This means everything to me."
He kisses the top of your head and wrapped his arms around you. "You mean everything to me," he said quietly back.
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It started as a joke.
A few of us, sitting around a cheap card table in my crumbling apartment, brainstorming ways to pay rent without actually working. The scam was simple: create a fake religion, prey on the gullible, and rake in some easy cash.
We called it The Order of Cythra, a name pulled out of thin air by my roommate, Toby, who thought it sounded âcryptic and legit.â We scribbled down some nonsense about Cythra being the god of renewal and hidden wisdom, created a website, and bought some dollar-store candles for the ârituals.â
At first, it was harmless fun. A few Reddit posts here, some vague TikToks there, and suddenly we had people donating. Not muchâjust twenty bucks here and thereâbut enough to cover bills and groceries.
Then things got... strange.
It started with the emails. Testimonials flooded our inbox from people claiming Cythra had spoken to them in dreams. A woman wrote about how her chronic migraines disappeared after chanting one of our made-up prayers. Another claimed their barren garden had suddenly burst into bloom.
We laughed it off at first. Toby even joked that we should hire a PR agent.
But then the dreams started.
It was always the same. I stood in a vast, desolate wasteland beneath a broiling, blood-red sky. A towering figure loomed in the distance, its body shifting between formsâhuman, deer, shadow. Its voice echoed in my head, not in words, but in feelings: hunger, anger, and something worse.
One night, I woke up to find the word Cythra carved into my arm, not by my own hand but by something else. I confronted Toby and the others, but their faces were pale. They were worried, like I had done something to them.
We tried to shut it down. Deleted the website, pulled down the TikToks, and stopped all donations. But the followers didnât go away. If anything, they grew more fervent. They showed up at my apartment, chanting in unison, their eyes glassy and strange. They called me High Priest.
Then the first miracle happened.
One of the followers, a man in his sixties, collapsed on my doorstep during one of their late-night vigils. His heart had stopped. I panicked and reached out to him instinctively, yelling for someone to call 911. The moment my hand touched his chest, I felt a searing heat shoot through my arm. His body jolted, and his eyes snapped open.
The followers fell to their knees.
I slammed the door, trembling, my palm still burning. When I looked, there was a black symbol etched into my skinâa sigil Iâd never seen before but somehow understood.
Cythra was real.
The days that followed were a blur. The followers proclaimed me as their leader, and no matter how much I tried to resist, they wouldnât leave me alone. More people came to me for healing, and each time, the sigil on my palm burned brighter. I didnât know what I was doing, but it always worked. Broken bones knit together. Tumors withered away. One woman even claimed her blind son could see again.
But with every miracle, I felt a piece of myself slipping away.
The dreams became more vivid. Cythra spoke now, its voice a low rumble that made my teeth ache. It demanded more worshippers, more faith, more sacrifices.
One night, I woke to find Toby standing over my bed, a knife in his hand and a vacant look in his eyes. He muttered something about âoffering blood to Cythra.â I fought him off, but he slit his own throat before I could stop him. The followers found his body the next morning and cheered.
They said his death would âbring Cythra fully into our world.â
I tried to run. Packed a bag and fled to the nearest bus station. But as soon as I stepped outside, I saw themâ hundreds of followers, all chanting in unison, their faces lit by the flickering of candles. The air was thick with the smell of sulfur.
The ground beneath their feet began to crack.
The last thing I remember before everything went black was the sky splitting open, and a monstrous, shifting form descending from the heavens.
Now I sit on a blackened throne in a temple I never built, my body barely my own. The sigil on my palm has spread, covering my arms, chest, and face. I can no longer close my eyes without seeing its form, nor speak without its words spilling from my mouth like black, molded bile.
I am the High Priest of Cythra, a forgotten god reborn through my foolishness.
And I know, deep down, that when it is finished with this world, it will consume me too.
You started a scam religion for a quick buck. You begin to panic when your fake god was actually a real forgotten one awakened from new worshippers, declared you it's high priest, and granted you the power of healing.
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Lily's Touch
Poly!Marauders + Lily x Reader who's experiencing her first heat...
Summary: The reader is experiencing her first heat, and nothing matter how hard she tries, she can't get the nest right.
WC: 1.4k
CW: Omegaverse, grammar and spelling, not proof read, references of intense emotions and the reader is elf conscious.
Remus knew it was coming- everyone did.
Seven years of Hogwarts, two years of living with your mates, and not once had you experienced a heat.
It didnât bother him, not really. It didnât bother any of them, but they all knew how much it bothered you. The way your shoulders tensed when Lily went into heat, how youâd quietly dote on her with sweet affections, offering soothing touches and cups of tea. But when it came to yourself, you withdrew, closing in on yourself like you didnât deserve the same attention. You never said it outright, but they could see it- the way you felt left behind, as though your body had somehow failed you. It broke his heart.
Theyâd tried to comfort you in countless ways. Late-night reassurances, Remusâs soft words murmured over cocoa, Jamesâs hand squeezing yours with that protective and reassuring energy, Sirius teasing you relentlessly until you couldnât help but laugh, and Lilyâs endless supply of comfort. Theyâd spent nights making sure you knew that even if you never went into heat, even if your body never did what you expected, it wouldnât change how much they loved you. You were theirs, no matter what. But words only went so far.
Yesterday, everything changed.Remus was the first to notice.
It started small; little things, like the way you trailed after them through the house, never straying too far from anyoneâs side. You clung to Siriusâs shirt that morning as he made breakfast, your fingers twisting in the fabric absentmindedly. Sirius had given you a curious look but said nothing, choosing instead to ruffle your hair and tease you lightly about being clingy. Normally, youâd respond with a sassy remark or a playful shove, but this time, you simply leaned into his touch with a quiet hum.
James noticed next. You curled up beside him on the couch, tucking yourself under his arm like you belonged there, and he didnât question it. He simply wrapped an arm around you, pressing a soft kiss to your temple while Lily smiled knowingly from across the room.
By midday, it was undeniable. You were restless, unsettled in a way none of them had seen before. Your instincts were bubbling just beneath the surface, tugging at you in directions you didnât fully understand. And by evening, it all came to a head.
The last sign was when Remus got up to move. Youâd been half-curled in Siriusâs lap, Remusâs fingers absentmindedly tracing patterns along your ankle. But the moment he shifted to stand, you stared at him, wide-eyed and panicked, as if the simple act of him moving away was too much to bear.
âHey, itâs alright,â Remus cooed softly, pausing in place. He hadnât meant to upset you, but the way your eyes began to water sent a sharp pang through his chest.
âIâm sorry.â You mumbled, your voice small and shaky. âI donât know whatâs wrong with me.â
âThereâs nothing wrong with you,â Remus whispered gently, stepping closer again. âCome here.â He opened his arms, and you immediately clung to him, pressing your face into his jumper with a sniffle of a cry.
That night, Remus took you to bed with him, and the simple act of being close seemed to calm you. But it was only the beginning.
The next day, it became clear to everyone- this was it. You were going into heat for the first time.
No one said a word, not wanting to put pressure on you. The human body was strange, and any small thing could ruin this. They wanted you to experience it at your own pace, to live through it without the weight of expectations. But by afternoon, as everyone gathered in the living room, it became impossible to ignore.
Youâd gotten it into your head that you needed to build a nest. It started with a pile of blankets and pillows in the corner of the room, but no matter how much you arranged and rearranged them, it didnât feel right. Youâd build it up, only to tear it apart moments later, frustration growing with every failed attempt.
Remus had seen it coming- how you were spiraling between uncertainty and instinct, your body and mind at odds with something new and overwhelming. It made his chest ache, watching you struggle to build your nest, tearing it apart moments later as frustration clouded your features. He wanted to reach out, to tell you again that it didnât matter if it was perfect. That you didnât need to prove anything to them. You were enough. You always had been.
But he knew better. You needed to figure it out in your own way. Still, he stayed close, crouched beside you, ready to help if you asked.
Lilyâs voice was calm and soothing, her fingers brushing through your hair as she murmured reassurances. âItâs okay, love. It doesnât have to be perfect.â
âBut it feels wrong.â Your voice trembled, hands twisting in the fabric of a blanket as though it might somehow yield the answer you were looking for. âI donât know what Iâm doing.â
âItâs strange the first time,â Lily said gently, her hand never pausing in its soothing strokes. âYouâre doing great, I promise.â
You didnât seem convinced. Remus could see the doubt weighing on you, the way your shoulders tensed under Lilyâs touch. It wasnât frustration anymore; it was fear. Fear of doing it wrong. Fear of not being enough.
âYouâre trying too hard,â he said softly, leaning in a little closer. âItâs okay to ask for help.â
âI donât want to mess it up,â you whispered, your voice thick with emotion. âI just⊠I want to impress you. I want it to be good. I want to do it right for once.â
The words hit him harder than he expected. You didnât need to impress them. You didnât need to be anything other than who you already were. He reached out, gently taking your trembling hands in his own, giving them a soft squeeze. âYou donât have to impress us,â he said quietly. âWe already think youâre incredible.â
James knelt beside you, hazel eyes warm with quiet affection. âWeâre proud of you,â he whispered. âNo matter what.â
Sirius plopped down on your other side, grinning as he draped an arm around your shoulders. âCome on then, what is it?â
You blinked at him, confused. âWhatâs what?â
Sirius shrugged, voice teasing but kind. âWhatâs that pretty head saying? Whatâs it want you to do?â
For a moment, you hesitated. Remus could see the conflict in your eyes, the way you bit your lip nervously. But then, something shifted. You let out a shaky breath, slowly rising to your feet. They all watched in silence as you paused, glancing around the room like you were searching for something. Your fingers twitched at your sides, your breathing uneven.
And then, as though pulled by an unseen thread, you turned and made your way toward the shared room. You hesitated at the door, casting a glance back at them, eyes uncertain, before stepping inside.
Remus followed quietly, stopping in the doorway as you approached Lilyâs nest. He didnât say anything, didnât want to disturb whatever instinct was guiding you now. He only watched as you reached out, running your fingers over the soft blankets and pillows that made up Lilyâs carefully crafted space.
You knelt down slowly, curling into the nest with a soft, content sigh, as though it was the only place youâd ever wanted to be. Lily covered her mouth with her hand, eyes glistening with unshed tears as she took in the sight of you nestled in her space. There was something unspoken between the two of you, something so deeply emotional that it made Remusâs throat tighten.
Of course. Of course, this was where youâd end up.
Was it really all that shocking? You had always been Lilyâs girl. Always gravitated toward her warmth, her comfort. It made sense in a way that felt almost poetic, that your first heat would lead you to her nest, to the place where you felt safest.
Remus smiled softly to himself, heart aching with affection as he watched Lily crawl in beside you, wrapping her arms around you protectively. You sighed again, melting into her hold, and Remus knew- no matter how long it had taken, no matter how difficult it had been for you to get here- you were finally where you belonged.
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omg di lets say youâre in a zoom call, camera on and mic on, working with some of your colleagues and in a meeting. but ghost!max hates hearing things that dont make sense to him and he could care less about your meeting bc youre ignoring him so he takes matters into his own hands đđđđ
â bon, your mind >>> đ„” he would be so upset if you turned off the spirit box before your meeting. 18+ content below
The meeting dragged on, each minute stretching into an eternity as your colleagues debated strategies you couldnât care less about. You sat in your usual spot at the desk, camera on and mic unmuted, dressed professionally in a crisp button-up shirt tucked into tailored pants. It wasnât your usual home attire, but you wanted to ensure nothing could be questioned if your camera accidentally caught more than your face.
Youâd turned off the spirit box before the meeting, not wanting the faint buzz of Maxâs voice to distract you. It was a small act of defiance, a way to focus on your responsibilities. But the moment you did, the room grew colder, the air heavier. It was clear he didnât appreciate being silenced.
His presence was undeniable, a charged hum in the air. You ignored it at first, brushing off the chill at the back of your neck, but then you felt it: the unmistakable graze of cold fingers skimming up your thigh through your pants. Your breath hitched, but you kept your expression neutral, nodding along to whatever your colleague was saying.
Max didnât care about your meeting. He didnât care about your professional attire or your attempts to block him out. His touch bypassed your clothes with ghostly ease, slipping through the fabric as if it wasnât even there.
The first stroke against your clit sent a jolt through you, his invisible fingers finding you with infuriating precision. You clenched your thighs together, trying to maintain some semblance of composure, but it only made his touch more deliberate. He pressed against you, rubbing slow, teasing circles that had you shifting in your seat.
Your hand gripped the deskâs edge, your knuckles whitening as his fingers teased and pressed, testing your resolve.
The conversation on your screen blurred as the sensation grew sharper. You shifted in your chair, pretending to adjust your position, but it only seemed to spur him on. His touch grew firmer, more deliberate, slipping lower to ghost over your hole. The cold pressure sent a shiver through your spine as his fingers slid inside, stretching you slowly, curling just right to make your breath hitch audibly.
âEverything okay?â one of your colleagues asked, snapping your focus back to the screen.
âIâyes. Just fine,â you managed, forcing a tight smile as heat bloomed in your cheeks.
Max was merciless, pushing his fingers deeper, scissoring them gently, making you squirm in your seat. The wet sound of his fingers working you filled the air around you, inaudible to the meeting but deafening in your own ears.
Your thighs quivered, your body betraying you as he brought you to the brink. Just when your orgasm hovered at the edge, so close you could taste it, he stopped. His fingers stilled, leaving you empty and aching, clenching around nothing.
You ground your teeth, gripping the desk harder as your colleagues continued their discussion. Max wasnât deterred. He waited for your pulse to settle, for the tension in your body to fade, before starting again. His mouth followed this time, a cold, wet drag of his tongue that sent a jolt of electricity through you.
You slammed your thighs shut, trying to block him out, but his ghostly form bypassed your resistance effortlessly. His tongue flicked over your clit, slow and deliberate, as if he had all the time in the world.
Your breath hitched again, this time loud enough that another colleague noticed.
âAre you sure youâre okay? You soundââ
âI need to step away,â you blurted out, your voice shaking as you turned off your mic and camera in a frenzy.
The second the meeting screen disappeared, Max descended on you fully. His mouth latched onto your clit, sucking hard, and his fingers returned with a vengeance, plunging into you and curling just right. The pace was brutal, relentless, and within seconds, your back arched as the first orgasm crashed over you.
But he didnât stop. He gave you no reprieve, his fingers and tongue working in tandem to pull another orgasm from you before you could even catch your breath. The overstimulation was maddening, your body writhing and twisting as you cried out, begging for relief that he wouldnât grant.
His mouth left your clit just long enough for his fingers to take over, pumping into you with ghostly force, stretching and filling you like nothing else could. When his tongue returned, flicking over your clit, you shattered again, moaning loudly into the empty room as your body convulsed.
You nearly lost count of how many times he made you cum. By the time he finally relented, your thighs were soaked, your body trembling violently, your mind barely clinging to reality.
With shaking hands, you reached for the spirit box, flipping it on. The crackle of static filled the air before his voice came through, low and dripping with smug satisfaction.
âMeeting or not, you donât ignore me otherwise Iâll ignore you until youâre aching for me,â he rasped, and the sound alone made you shiver.
want more ghost!max? send me an ask with your filthiest thoughts and itâll get answered during one of my dirty drabble days
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âI don't need to see it. You got your way about me going to the club and I think it's fair I get my way about the outfit,â you said. âWe both know I could've met your friends another time. It didn't have to be tonight. So they'll meet me like this or not at all."
R.E.S.P.E.C.T. đ I legit screamed. Read him to filth, baby!!!! GO GO GO GO!
You gripped his wrist before his touch could move further down your body. âWhat if you upset or hurt me?â You asked.
I think this might be my fave chapter. I THINK. But she ate in this chapter so much. đ„č
If gaslighting was an Olympic sport, he could take the gold. Everything about the man had you second guessing just about everything.
GASLIGHT HIM BACK, GIRL PLEASEEEEEEEE!!!!!
âBut before I forget, you owe me a picture of you since I found you.â
For the most part, I cringed hard at this. But I guess the good thing is, he asked...? Is this pathetic or what? I am confused. Buchanan, please control yourself. đŹ
âThen let me introduce you to some of the staff. And don't worry. They know who you are,â he said.
It's just not comforting like he thought it is. đ
âNice to meet you,â Ari cut in, his voice deep and even. People probably hit on him, too. And as domineering as they were, you felt an odd sense of security.
Bucky look away for a sec. As an Ari girlie, ARI PLEASE SHOOT YOUR SHOT. IN EVERY FIC YOU GRACE US WITH YOUR PRESENCE, YOU ARE ALWAYS WELCOMED AND EMBRACED. đ I love him, your honor.
âIâm good with faces and you have a very pretty face,â he smiled.
Everyone in this establishment has a death wish, I swear to god.
âBut someone did,â Bucky guessed, his eyes still dark when you didnât deny it. âIâll take care of it,â he promised, ushering you toward Ray.
Good, now kiss my forehead then kill that hoe.
It was no wonder Bucky did whatever he wanted unchecked.
Everyone is gaslighting, gatekeeping, and girlbossing. This is not good for the community.
âAnd you wanted someone to love you. So did he,â he said with more gentleness than you expected. âThereâs always some madness in love.â
Omg, Ray. Shut up, stop spouting Shakespeare level romance shit on me. It isn't fair đ
âAnd between love and madness lies obsession,â you said. Thatâs what Bucky was to you: obsessed. âWhy am I the one? Why is he so desperate to have me?â
Omg, she came back swinging. đź
âItâs good to see you again,â Steve smiled.
This bitch. I thought you were trustworthy! ( I did not, it's Steve. When there's Steve, there's Bucky.)
Hold You Tight: Part 7
Pairing: Club Owner!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
Fic Summary: The owner of The 107th wants you to be his girl whether you like it or not.
Part 6 | Series Masterlist | Part 8
Chapter Summary: You meet some of the staff at the club and try to reason with one of Bucky's men about your situation.
Chapter Word Count: Over 4.3k
Chapter Warnings: DARK AU, tension, mention of stalking, inner conflict, insecurities, manipulation, possessiveness, flirting, Bucky Barnes (he's a warning, okay?), more warnings to come.
A/N: More Hold You Tight! Hope you lovelies continue to enjoy. Bucky edit by the beautiful @nixakimbo . â€ïž Beta read by the lovely @whisperlullaby , but any and all mistakes are my own. Divider by the talented @firefly-graphics . Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!
You weren't sure exactly how far the club was from the bookstore, but you didn't say anything for a minute after his declaration. Youâd read stories about instalove before, the accelerated trajectory of feelings and relationships. It wasn't something you thought youâd ever be on the receiving end of. That mixed with a dark antihero.
How was this your life?
Bucky chose to break the silence. âYou can change here if you want.â
Your heart rate spiked as you stared at the garment bag. There was a chance that the dress was to your liking, your style. But in the car, it wasn't like you could shield yourself if you undressed. Heâd see you. Maybe even try to touch you. Was it worth the risk?
Reaching for it, you took a deep breath and curled your fingers around the hanger. The moment you grabbed it though, you set it right back on the hook. You wouldn't bother unzipping it to take a look. You weren't a doll for him to play dress up with.
âSorry, Bucky,â you began, shifting to face him. âIâm sure itâs a nice dress, but I'm not wearing it.â
âYou sure?â He asked. âYou havenât even seen it.â
âI don't need to see it. You got your way about me going to the club and I think it's fair I get my way about the outfit,â you said. âWe both know I could've met your friends another time. It didn't have to be tonight. So they'll meet me like this or not at all."
His eyes snapped to you, pinning you in place as you froze. Giving him an ultimatum over something he may consider trivial wasn't a smart move and it wouldn't be a hill you'd die on, but you needed some sort of win. Part of him had to understand that.
Bucky's lips curled in a small smile, but you still swallowed nervously. âYou look stunning to me just as you are,â he said, tracing the collar of your shirt with his fingertip. "Perfect even.â
âWhat?â You asked. You were far from stunning. âYou're really okay with me going into your club like this? I don't think it meets the dress code.â You were lucky your black dress was nice enough to get in the first time.
âAnd? I said in the bookstore that you can wear whatever you want since you look beautiful in anything, so of course Iâm okay with it,â he said, his finger gliding down the middle of your chest. âIf you're worried about anyone saying anything, don't be. Youâre my girl and my friends and I will shut anyone up who tries to make you feel less than perfect.â
Your eyes widened at the casualness of the threat. There was no reason to threaten anyone on your behalf. You could also hear Marc's voice in the back of your mind, reminding you that Bucky was dangerous. âBucky, you don't have to do anything.â
âIf someone upsets or hurts you, yes, I do,â he said.
Addison was the type of person who would defend you if you were upset or hurt. You would do the same for her. A boyfriend type defending you was entirely different. He could've just said that to make you lower your guard or play on your insecurities. So why did it still sound like he meant it?
You gripped his wrist before his touch could move further down your body. âWhat if you upset or hurt me?â You asked.
Bucky blinked at your question, an unfathomable look in his eyes. âI promised Iâd never hurt you,â he whispered. You were the only one safe from his underlying rage, weren't you? Because something was lurking beneath the surface that you hadn't yet witnessed. âBut I'd do whatever I could to make you happy again if I upset you.â
âYou realize dragging me to your club didn't make me happy?â
âI didn't drag you. You got into the car with my help,â he teased. When you didn't smile, he sighed. âI'm sorry. You told me you wanted a quiet night and I pushed you to go anyway. I just got so excited for everyone to finally meet the girl of my dreams andâŠâ He shook his head. âThat doesn't matter. I should've listened.â
The apology sounded so sincere it threw you for a loop. If gaslighting was an Olympic sport, he could take the gold. Everything about the man had you second guessing just about everything. âI appreciate that,â you said, going with a safe response.
He smiled as the car rolled to a stop. âIâll make it up to you,â he promised, his gloved hand taking yours.
You wouldnât ask how he planned to do that. âWait,â you said, pulling him back slightly before he could open the door. âCan we just sit here for a second?â You werenât ready to go into the club. Maybe you could buy yourself another minute or two.
âYou're stalling,â he smiled. You didnât disagree. âWe can't stall for too long. The longer we stay, the more it pushes back the evening and I promised youâd be in bed by 10.â
âI just want to talk for another minute. I still donât feel like I know much about you.â
âLike what?â He asked.
âThings like your family? You said there was a story about your mom,â you said.
A swirl of emotions passed in his eyes, a range of sorrow to anger and even hope. âThere is, but I want to tell you that story when itâs just us,â he said. Just the two of you. Alone together. âI will say though that the original club belonged to her before I turned it into The 107th. It helps keep part of her memory alive for me.â
âThatâs a beautiful thing,â you said honestly. She clearly meant the world to him. âAnd your dad?â
âHe deserved what he got,â he said, not an ounce of pity or sorrow in his voice.
âOh.â There was no lost love there. You wouldnât linger on the topic since that was likely another story for another time. âCan you tell me why your left hand is always covered? You said I'd never be a mistress, but are you covering up a wedding ring or something?â
The storm raged in his eyes again and you had to keep yourself from shrinking back when he wrapped a hand around your neck. Your heart pounded as he applied a light amount of pressure, but he didn't squeeze any further. Would anyone help you or care if you tried to scream? âDo you feel a ring beneath the leather?â
âNo,â you whispered, your eyes shutting when he leaned in.
His breath fanned across your lips. âI told you before that youâre the only one I see,â he whispered. âSo when I do wear a ring on that finger, itâll be on our wedding day.â
You let out something like a whimper when his thumb rubbed along your pulse. While you wanted to stall before, the car now felt too small. Too hot. You wouldn't be able to breathe if you stayed in there much longer. âI think we waited long enough to go inside,â you whispered.
Both of you sighed when he let go of your neck. âI think we did, too,â he agreed, taking your hand again. âBut before I forget, you owe me a picture of you since I found you.â
You glared at him since you hoped heâd forget about that, but he only smirked before he helped you out of the car. Parked right in front of the club, you nearly jumped when you saw Raymond standing close by, his gaze flickering between you and his boss. âHey, Ray,â you said as Bucky pulled you along.
Raymond said your name in reply as he followed close. There were already a few people lined up to get in, but your attention was on the bright sign of The 107th. It welcomed you. Taunted you. You had a feeling you were going to become very familiar with the ins and outs of this place.
âLetâs go, Kotyonok,â Bucky whispered. You hadn't realized you stopped walking until he slipped his arm around your waist and guided you forward.
Bucky nodded to the doorman and walked tall with you beside him. Of course he wasn't nervous. He had no reason to be. This was one of his castles and he was the king. And he chose a peasant to be by his side. A peasant he wanted to make his queen.
The music vibrated through the floor as you went inside and bypassed the coat check. The sound grew louder as you approached the main floor and watched the crowd, all dressed to impres. The lights bathed everyone in red and it felt like you had walked into a sensual version of Hell. And Bucky, the devil of the establishment, tugged you closer by the waist, but he might as well have put a collar around your neck to show everyone that you were his pet.
âBreathe,â he said close to your ear, making it hard to exhale. You were out of your element, the territory somewhat terrifying since you weren't in the company of your friends this time around. At least your legs weren't shaking. âWould you like a drink?â He asked.
âMaybe later,â you replied over the music.
âThen let me introduce you to some of the staff. And don't worry. They know who you are,â he said. Before you could respond to that and ask what exactly they knew about you, he turned you back toward the way you came and waved a couple of men over. Your breath caught in your throat when they approached. Both wore a black top and pants and were as large as Bucky and looked just as dangerous.
âThis is Ari,â Bucky said, nodding to the darker haired man who had a scowl on his handsome face. âAnd this is Jax.â The blonde smirked when you made eye contact with him. âTheyâre two of my best bouncers and theyâll help keep an eye on you when you're not with me.â
You scooted closer to Bucky on instinct when both of them stared at you, but you didn't lower your gaze. Their looks could never be as penetrating as the man who owned this place. âKeep an eye on me? Are you my babysitters?â You asked. Would they watch your every move, too, and report back to Bucky?
Ari didn't smile, but the scowl softened. Jax, however, chuckled. âGuess you could say that, but we don't mind,â he said, his grin flirty and eyes twinkling as your cheeks warmed. âIt's a pleasure to finally meet you, darlinâ.â
âJax,â was the only thing Bucky said, his fingers digging a bit more into your side. Ray gave the bouncer a warning glance, too.
Jax shrugged. âJust being polite,â he smiled. The man likely had people hanging all over him during his shifts with his charm. He probably wouldn't have looked at you twice under normal circumstances, but you smiled back anyway.
âI appreciate the politeness,â you said.
Buckyâs eyes narrowed. âYouâre not being polite. You're flirting with my girl,â he said to Jax, your smile falling immediately when the air around you thickened.
âJust being polite,â he said again, not at all bothered by the look his boss gave him.
âNice to meet you,â Ari cut in, his voice deep and even. People probably hit on him, too. And as domineering as they were, you felt an odd sense of security.
âItâs nice to meet you both. Hopefully you won't have to babysit me too much,â you said, glancing at Bucky. His fingers were still digging into your side, his muscles tense. Was he jealous? âBreathe,â you urged, giving him the same instruction he gave you moments ago.
The bouncers each had a look of surprise on their faces when Bucky listened and slowly exhaled. âOkay. Thank you,â Ray said, gesturing for them to get back to work. âBoss?â
Buckyâs hold on your relaxed a bit. âLetâs introduce you to Hal and then weâll go to my office,â he said.
âOffice?â
âQuieter than the VIP section,â he explained.
You weren't sure if people recognized Bucky or if it was just the aura of power that he gave off, but people moved out of the way without prompting as he led you toward the bar. He smiled as he did so, completely at ease in his domain. âYou know, I don't need babysitters,â you told him.
âYou need people to look out for you, especially if youâre with me,â he said.
âBecause youâre dangerous,â you said. Youâd eventually have to find out why. âOnce again, you aren't giving me a choice.â
âWhen it comes to your safety, I can't,â he stated unapologetically. You grit your teeth as he took you to the bar where a couple of bartenders were working. You didn't pay much attention to the guy at the other end since the one right in front of you had no shirt on, his toned torso on full display.
âThis is Hal. Our top bartender.â
âHey!â The bartender flipped his light brown hair back and flashed you a smile almost as bright as his tan. âItâs good to see you again.â
âAgain?â You repeated, nodding as your mind flashed back to Addisonâs bachelorette party. âThatâs right. You gave my friend a shot before we went into the VIP section. You have a great memory.â
âIâm good with faces and you have a very pretty face,â he smiled.
The attention from his staff was dizzying. It wasn't anything you were used to. What was it going to be like when you met everyone else? You felt so lost.
âFirst Jax, now you,â Bucky muttered. For a split second, you thought he would try to cover your eyes. âWould you put your fucking shirt back on and stop hitting on my girl?â
âOh, câmon. I'll put it on after my shift. This is getting me tons of tips already and will only continue through peak time.â Hal winked at you and you tried to smother a laugh. Between Jax and Hal, you wondered if the two of them had a bet going to see who could make their boss snap. If so, they were brave.
âBucky, Iâm not looking at Halâs abs,â you said.
The bartender snorted when his boss's eye twitched. âJust get back to work,â he grumbled, stepping a couple of feet away from you to speak to Ray.
âYou can look. I won't tell,â Hal smiled, leaning on the bar. âBoss man said youâd make an appearance tonight.â
âAnd here I am,â you smiled, leaving out that it wasn't by choice.
âIs there anything I can get you? Your drinks are always on the house.â
âIâm fine for-â A man in a blue suit elbowed his way in before you could finish. âExcuse me.â
The guy sneered at you as he gave you a once over. âUgly underdressed bitch,â he said, making you flinch before he snapped his fingers at Hal.
You glanced down at your clothes, your throat tight. You stubbornly refused to wear the dress Bucky got you on principle, but the jerkâs comment was another reminder that you didnât belong there. What would prompt someone to be so rude?
âHey!â The guy snapped at Hal again when he didnât serve him right away.
The bartender smiled, but it didn't look right as he stood back to his full height. Had he heard what the guy said? âYou know, itâs not nice to interrupt a lady, John. Maybe you should apologize.â
âFuck that,â the guy, John apparently, scoffed. He mustâve frequented the place enough if Hal knew the guy's name and you weren't about to cause a scene. A complete stranger shouldnât make you feel bad anyway.
Halâs smile disappeared completely. âDo you know who sheâs here with?â
âItâs okay, Hal. Thanks,â you said, your burning eyes on the floor as you moved back to Buckyâs side. You didn't want to be there. You didnât belong there. Why couldn't you just-
âYou okay, Kotyonok?â Bucky asked, lifting your chin with a look of concern. âWhatâs the matter? What happened?â
âNothing. Iâm fine,â you answered, giving him a tight-lipped smile. You just wanted the night to be over. âCan we go to your office, please?â
Bucky intently searched your face, something dark taking over his eyes as your heart raced. âRay?â
âBoss?â
âQuick change of plans. You take her upstairs and wait outside my office,â he ordered, swiping his thumb along your cheek. âI think Hal and I need to have a quick chat before I join you.â
âHal didnât do anything,â you said quickly. He was a sweet guy from what you could tell and he didnât need to be on the receiving end of Buckyâs anger for something insignificant.
âBut someone did,â Bucky guessed, his eyes still dark when you didnât deny it. âIâll take care of it,â he promised, ushering you toward Ray.
âBucky, itâs fine,â you said over your shoulder, but he had already waved Hal over to speak to him.
âThis way, please,â Ray said, leading you away from the bar.
Before you knew it, he took you up a flight of stairs and down a corridor, the decor sleeker than the main floor. The closed double doors at the end of the hall you could only assume was Buckyâs office since Ray had you stop just outside of them. You took a breath and leaned against the wall. Though you could feel the beat of the music against your back, it was much quieter. Less crowded. You didnât feel completely overwhelmed.
âWhatâs he going to do?â
âDepends on what or who upset you.â
âYouâre my girl and my friends and I will shut anyone up who tries to make you feel less than perfect.
You took a moment to look at the bodyguard as he stood against the opposite wall. Stoic. Pristine. âWhat am I doing here, Ray?â You sighed. This wasnât your scene. It wasnât your world.
âMeeting some of the bossâs staff and friends,â he answered.
âThatâs not what I meant. I meant⊠God, I donât even know what I mean,â you groaned and wondered how long it would be before Bucky joined you. âBut I don't belong here.â
âYes, you do,â he said.
Why in the world would he think that? âHow long have you worked for Bucky?â You asked. It wasnât that you wanted to really talk, but you didnât want to let your mind race while you waited.
âA few years now,â he replied.
âYouâve seen him date people then. Has he stalked any of his past girlfriends that youâre aware of or am I the unlucky one?â You asked. Bucky told you he tried to go the traditional dating route and that the last woman he saw tried to rob him.
âYouâre the only person he has gone to extremes for,â Ray carefully answered.
âExtremes. You mean stalking,â you said. Did that make you feel better or worse that it was just you? âSo, youâre fully aware that he stalked me. And that he plans to move me into his place.â
Ray gave you a single nod, though you wouldnât say he looked proud. âI am.â
âCan you stop him?â Your stomach dropped when he shook his head. âWhy not?â
âYou canât stop or delay the inevitable. He wants you and Iâm afraid thatâs that,â he said.
Incredulity crossed your face. He sounded like Bucky, but this was somehow worse. Did he not see that his inaction helped upheave your life? âOh, itâs that simple, huh? Bucky wants me, so he gets me? Did you even try to stop him when he began to do âresearchâ on me?â
âNo,â he stated. One simple word that held so much weight.
âWhat the hell?â Fury seared through you as you pushed yourself off the wall. âYou didnât think to step in and at least tell him, I donât know, that stalking is crazy and wrong and illegal?!â
Ray blinked and pushed his glasses further up his nose. âYou think heâd listen to me?â
Your fury didnât dissipate, but you did step back. âWell. I assumedâŠâ
âThat what? That weâre friends? He may respect my opinion from time to time and he may consider me a friend, but heâs my employer first and will not hesitate to remind me of that,â he said, glancing down the hall. âAnd perhaps it is not my place to say so, but as wrong as it is this is the happiest I've ever seen him. You ground him.â
âSo, as long as heâs happy, it doesnât matter what he does?â You asked, feeling more hopeless by the second. âWhy am I bothering? You donât care.â
There was no reasoning with Bucky nor his men. At this point, you were going around in circles. It was exhausting.
Ray blinked again. âYou assume I don't care because Iâm not stopping him. His methods are unconventional, sure, but he just wanted your full attention.â
âThere are other less creepy ways to get my attention.â
âAre there? You know what we found when we researched you?â He asked rhetorically. âYou never go out. You're either home or at work. When youâre at work, you don't give a second glance to any of the men who come in. Where was he supposed to naturally meet you?â
âThat doesn'tâŠâ Tears stung your eyes, but you refused to weep. Being a homebody shouldnât be a tool to use against you or used as a means to manipulate you. âI went out with my friends. And he flat out said âwhereâs the fun in thatâ when I asked why he didn't just ask me out. Stop making excuses for him.â
It was no wonder Bucky did whatever he wanted unchecked.
âYou went out with friends who are all in relationships and aren't interested in meeting anyone. So you didn't go out of your way to meet others which no one is faulting you for. Breaking in was a bit much, but he was desperate and took drastic steps to get to and keep you,â he said. He spoke like it was natural, logical. âYou're afraid. I know. But youâre the one in his eyes. If you try to run, weâll be forced to catch you. Is that really what you want?â
Your hands shook. âI just want normalcy.â Was that so wrong?
âAnd you wanted someone to love you. So did he,â he said with more gentleness than you expected. âThereâs always some madness in love.â
âAnd between love and madness lies obsession,â you said. Thatâs what Bucky was to you: obsessed. âWhy am I the one? Why is he so desperate to have me?â
The bodyguard considered your question. âDoes there have to be one reason? He has no family left. Work and friends can only take so much of the emptiness away,â he said, glancing down the hall again.
You bit your lip. âWhen you dug into my life, was there something specific that set me apart from anyone else he ever encountered? An incident or anything?â
Bucky convinced himself you were his soulmate, mind, body, heart, and soul. Ray stood across from you and stated he was happy since you were in his life, the happiest he had ever been. But why? Was the man obsessed simply because you were you or was there a piece of the puzzle you were missing?
âThatâs not for me to tell, but I can say heâs devoted to you and you only.â He glanced down the hall again before he straightened up. Was there something for Bucky to tell you then? âBe angry with me if you wish, but know that Iâm not just looking out for my boss now. Iâm looking out for you, too. We all will.â
You heard Buckyâs footsteps as he walked toward you, but your eyes remained on his bodyguard. âOkay,â you whispered. Ray wasnât going to help you any further. Not tonight.
Bucky stood in front of you, effectively blocking your view of Ray. âI hope I didnât keep you waiting long.â
âI hope Hal isnât in any sort of trouble,â you said.
Bucky gave you a wolfish smile, energy buzzing around him. âNot at all. In fact, Iâm giving him a raise,â he said, slipping his arm back around you. What did the bartender tell him exactly and what did he do in response? âI do want to warn you before we go in, they may stare since theyâre not used to meetings like this.â
âWhat, theyâre not used to you having someone on your arm?â You asked. You found that hard to believe.
âTheyâre not used to me having someone Iâd burn the world down for,â he said proudly, nodding for Ray to open the doors. âAll youâd have to do is give me the match.â
âIâll keep that in mind,â you said, gulping when you heard the chatter and laughter inside.
Once again, you were the lamb going into the lionâs den. But you could do this. You just had to mingle a bit longer and then you could go on your way. Bucky swore heâd have you home and youâd hold him to it.
The moment Bucky took you into the office, all conversations ceased. The men appeared relaxed, like they weren't aware of or didnât care about the aura that surrounded the man beside you. He was right though. They all stared. Including a man with a pair of blue eyes you recognized.
The man who bought tulips from your shop.
âItâs good to see you again,â Steve smiled.
With a sinking heart, you began to accept that there really was no escaping Bucky Barnes.
Sorry to cut this off before meeting the rest of the friends, but it was a natural stopping point. And we'll find out what happens to John in the next part. Love and thanks for reading! â€ïž
Masterlist â Bucky Barnes Masterlist â Ko-Fi
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Your inexperienced blurbs are all amazingly can you do Quinn next?
He's slow but he's full of passion, taking his time to drag his cock through your walls that squeeze him tight, cherishing the virgin moans slipping out from you shamelessly, uncaring of his neighbours but he's hitting places your fingers can never reach and it's sending avid desire to your throbbing cunt. Quinn groans into your neck, lips smoothing the column with wet kisses, sucking over the flesh knowing how insane it drives you.
His breath fans up to your ear, lips grazing over your cheek and he rasps, hips thrusting languidly, "You okay, pretty girl? Tell me if you wanna stop and I will."
Tilting your head back into his pillows, you turn your head slightly and capture his lips in yours, tongue finding his with a hunger that takes him by surprise. Your nails claw into his back, dragging and gripping his muscles, pulling him closer, moaning when his pace notably speeds up as if he's giving in to his own lust.
"Why the hell would I do that?" you kiss him again, "You feel so fucking good, Q. Can you go faster?"
He doesn't say anything, he doesn't need to as his hips speak for him, rutting into you faster, back and forth, back and forth, sweat trickling down his temple and this electrifying feeling washing through you every time his cock hits your cervix, and a grunt leaves his throat. You can't pretend like you're not in heaven anymore, letting wanton moans, elongated and chanting his name as your pussy stretches to properly fit him and only him, clenching. You hook both legs around his hips, locking your ankles and he slides in deeper, hitting angles voraciously.
"Use your words, sweetheart," he grumbles, voice deep and enticing in your ear, vibrating in his chest as his hair clings to his face, cock plunging into your cunt still, "need you to tell me if this is okay. Don't wanna hurt you."
"Oh, Quinn! M'good, so fucking good. Fucking this pretty pussy so well." Your lips pulled into a smile, eyes rolling back as you gripped him tighter, nails digging crescents into his flexing muscles.
He's at a loss for words, almost ruining his rhythm yet the way you whine is so enticing, and that paired with the wet sounds of his dick sliding in and out of you, he pulls himself together, lips attaching to your neck.
"I thought you'd never done," he thrusts harder, your breasts bouncing and the volume of your wails becoming high-pitched, "this before."
You giggle with delirium, that high in your head where everything feels great and your body is light like all the weight had been lifted just by Quinn's cock alone, "A virgin, Q-oh, a horny one. S'not like I don't know what sex is- shit, there, right there."
He chuckles, it's hard not to. Your pleasure controls him like a puppet, driving his cock into the exact spongey spot you'd been begging for, one hand rolling your nipple just to be a tease before sliding to your clit, fingers circling the under of shooting nerves and drawing somewhere between a moan and giggle from you. His stomach tightens, like a coil and watching you get lost in your euphoric arousal has his pace becoming sloppier, desperate but still not as rough as he thinks you'd like him to be yet. It is your first time still, and he wants you to enjoy it.
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Out of reach
Pairing: earlyseasons!Spencer Reid x hotchner!fem!reader Summary: You pull away from Spencer because of your jealousy. You go back to him after a few drinks in. WC: 9k A/N: fluff! pining! idiots/friends to lovers! alcohol consumption; spencer is a bit mean; reader doesn't communicate; hotch is a little older to have a daughter around spencer's age (do not come at me this is fiction). If I missed anything, please let me know! I had so much fun writing this one and it's now one of my favorites <3 masterlist
The jet was quiet as you and the BAU team made your way back from Los Angeles after successfully finding Lila Archer's stalker. The case had been a bit draining, after all, you've only been working with the FBI for a couple of months, and seeing dead bodies and all those other displays of violence was something you were still trying to get used to. Despite your sensitive nature, being Aaron Hotchner's daughter meant that you had mastered the art of a poker face through the years, not that it meant that your inner feelings were any less important. This is how you found yourself sitting all alone in a corner of the jet as everyone minded their own business. On any other day, you'd be sitting next to Dr. Spencer Reid, talking about whatever it was that could get your mind off the case you had just wrapped up. Spencer and you were friends, some would even say the best of friends, but you didn't mind about naming things â what mattered the most is that you got to be yourself around him and you didn't bother hiding behind the Hotchner glare, as he once put it.
Despite being unknown territory for you, after all, feelings and all that were protected by a deeply analytic and practical mind, you knew what you were feeling. Well, you were analyzing your reactions to check what had actually happened â and the thing is, you couldn't admit, not even to yourself, what that sinking feeling in your chest when you watched Spencer saying goodbye to Lila was. Amid your analysis, Spencer quietly approached you, silently motioning to the seat next to you. You nodded, shutting every single thought of him. Or at least, trying.
"Hi."
Hotch glare. "Hi, Reid."
Spencer felt nervous. He had never been on the receiving end of your⊠wrath before, so it was unknown territory and he didn't know how to act. His racing heart and clammy palms weren't helping him, either. Taking a deep breath, he said, "Listen, um, you... can... can we talk?" The stammering. Way to go, Spencer.
Glancing at him, ignoring the skip in your heartbeat, you nodded. "Yeah. Is everything alright?" A firm, secure tone. You mentally patted yourself on the back.
"You're a little distant... andâand I got a bit worried. Did... Did something happen?" He wanted to kick himself. What kind of person can't hold a serious conversation without stuttering like an idiot? Get a grip, Reid.
"No, Reid. Everything is alright. I'm just... thinking." You said.
Bullshit. You both knew that. Spencer, on the other hand, didn't know why it was bullshit. But he knew it was.
"Are you sure?" He asked, leaning towards you, almost invading your personal space and he shut his eyes before delivering the next question, "Is... I haven't done anything to upset you? Right?"
You took a second to answer him, willing your voice to stay still and the knot in your throat to go away. "No. It's nothing you've done. It's just... it's on me." You gave him a small smile that didnât quite reach your eyes â that's when he knew something was definitely wrong.
He nodded, but he was still worried by your sudden change of behavior, especially towards him. It was like he was anyone else, again. And, God, he didn't want that. "What is it, then? You can talk to me, you know. We're best friends."
Best friends.
The words felt bitter on his tongue. The sound of them broke your heart all over again.
Best friends. "Right. Yeah. I know." You said, quietly, and it felt a little lifeless to him. He clenched his hand, fighting the urge to touch you, to ask you what was truly bothering you. "Thanks for offering."
Spencer felt conflicted. If he didn't say anything and didn't push you to speak, you would probably bury whatever it was that you were feeling and it would lead him into being even more worried about you. If he did, you would probably snap at him because of his undesired, bothersome insistence. "It's nothing." He said, defeatedly. "Can you just... Do you promise it's not me?"
Your heart ached and you smiled at him, a tiny, faint, barely there smile. He was so adorable, sometimes. "I'm just upset over something else. Donât worry. You didn't do anything wrong." You finished, trying to convince yourself that he had not, indeed, done something wrong.
And he didn't. He didn't. You and Spencer, despite your proximity and sometimes incredibly ambiguous relationship, hadn't said anything about deeper feelings towards one another. You let yourself admire him, lovingly, from afar, and were happy with the snippets of attention you had from him when you two had some free time. You two were regulars in the coffee shop near his apartment and, by now, the local librarian, Mrs. Jones, could probably fake your signature from how often you two went there to borrow books. She would watch you two behind the bookshelves, whispering excitedly and curiously to each other about whatever suggestions you were getting from each other. As you missed Spencer's longing glances to read a summary, Mrs. Jones smiled to herself, both at how adorable you two were and how oblivious you were. In museums, you would sit down after some time walking around to his explanations of art and historical movements that impacted the expression of a certain age â you pretended to not know a few things, just so he could speak his heart away and not be interrupted by your own contributions.
You kept silent to make him happy.
Which was exactly what was happening now.
Spencer knew, for sure, that you were hiding something from him. But he also knew that he had no right to force it out. He fidgeted awkwardly, not knowing what to do with his hands, his heart still clenching. âBut, but... youâd come to me if you needed help, right?â
You nodded, unable to speak. You knew you were wrong, omitting things from him. Just as the guilt was starting to weigh in your heart, Derek passed by you two with a magazine in his hands, throwing it at Spencer, exclaiming, "My man!"
You looked down, already knowing what it was. Spencer was a mess beside you: blushing, stuttering, avoiding your and Derek's gaze and throwing the magazine as far as he could, like it had burned him. Your reaction was a subtle twitch of your lips, not in amusement, but in need to disguise the pang in your heart. You both spent the rest of the flight sitting in silence, simply being in each other's orbit. You, guiltily. Spencer, worriedly.
Your reaction â or lack of â was staggering to Spencer. He thought you two were getting somewhere, despite your closed off nature and demeanor, he thought he was finally cracking you up. Everyday was torture, seeing you walk through the bullpen's glass doors with your professional clothes and your composed figure. It was torture to see you walk around so prettily and serious, holding his bare heart in your hands, and not even realizing it. By now, he lived and thrived on those rare opportunities you had to spend time together as he became more and more covered in you.
As the jet landed and Spencer walked out to talk to Derek, you pettily made sure to step on Lila Archer's face when leaving the jet in sheer frustration.
Back to the bullpen, you had gone to the restroom to splash some water on your face in order to calm your nerves and to tell yourself that it was only a matter of time until things got back to normal â until you got back to normal. Glancing at your reflection in the mirror, you wondered if Spencer could tell that there was something wrong with you, if you had let any of your feelings slip during your short conversation. The version of you that stared back was as impassible as you ever were. As you made your way to your desk in the dimly lit sea of desks, you caught Spencer and Derek talking, both having their backs to you.
Sighing, you just left the headquarters, not wanting to know what they were discussing, or rather, knowing what they were discussing, but unwilling to stay, even if it would quench your curiosity as to what Spencer had been thinking.
Maybe you didn't want to know the answer.
â
The days went by, cases coming left and right, flights making you almost dizzy â not that you would admit, but you were terrified of heights. Between those and your training, you barely had time to think about Spencer and the entire Lila occasion. You spent your days busy with work, studies and physical training in order to keep your mind away from that, but as you lay awake at night, the memories would come back to haunt you relentlessly to the point you had recurring dreams of them. Together, as you watched from the sidelines. You kept to yourself, slipping further and further away from Spencer.
Reid, on the other hand, felt your absence more than anyone. You took a rain check on all the invitations he made, even when he invited you to movie night, when he would definitely choose a Russian movie because you mentioned once how you liked how the language sounds. There wasn't any more donuts on his desk as he arrived in the morning (he would always joke that you and your father secretly lived in the headquarters and that someday he would see Haley bringing your groceries to the secret house), and there was no one for him to throw his paper airplanes, small flashcards with the Russian phonological alphabet, at. The change in your behavior was absurdly clear to everyone: you barely called or texted him anymore, you didn't look his way when someone told a joke to check if he thought it was funny... He was sulking, to say the least. Upon questioning you, you blamed your lack of free time and as he was going to question you further, you said in a teasing tone that not everyone was like him and that the FBI was actually making you go through all the training phases.
Finally, during the end of a particularly frustrating workday, he finally snapped, grabbing your arm before you could enter the elevator. It was only you and him in the otherwise empty hallway. "Ok. What's been going on? And don't," he said, closing his eyes, "don't dance around the subject. Don't say it's the Academy. Don't say you have to work. Don't. Please, be honest with me."
The exasperation in his eyes and in his tone almost broke the wall that hid your true feelings, but as you glanced at him, you figured you couldn't do it. Be honest? What for? To hear that you're nothing more than his best friend? Losing said friend was not an option, not to you, at least. But you also knew that you weren't treating him right, that keeping him out was not at all fair to him, that leaving him in the dark was as hurtful as it would be to lose him.
Breathing deeply, you answered with the same stoic expression you wore every single damn day. "I told you, Reid. People go through different, busier times in their lives." The lie tasted like acid.
Spencer clenched his teeth, frustration and confusion beginning to override some of his social anxieties. âThat! That!â He asked through clenched teeth, his gaze intense.
"That what?" You asked, puzzled.
"You... you stopped calling me 'Spence'ânot that you did it often, you did it more when we were all alone, and it... it sucks! It sucks because I don't know what happened or what I did that was so wrong to make you stop liking me!"
Come on, just say something! Get angry, get sad, get something!, his mind screamed.
"I never stopped liking you," you said, looking away from him. His words hit a particular spot that you were totally willing to discover later, but the mere thought that he knew that you liked him more than as a friend made you shiver.
"That's not the point! Orâor rather, it is! Because if you didn't stop liking me, why would you act like you did?" He asked, his tone rising a bit.
"Calm down."
"Calm down? I will not calm down!" He almost yelled. His eyes widened slightly, disbelief clear in his features and tone, not to mention the frustration. "Just. Please.â He said, closing his eyes, willing himself to tone it down, not that it worked... âTell me what you're thinking, what happened to you! For once! Any normal person would react and stop acting like an emotionless robot!"
You gaped like a fish out of water, taking a small step back, his words digging a hole in your heart. Upon hearing his own words and noticing you distancing yourself from him, all the anger vanished from his body. The widened eyes were a sign of realization of what he had said to you. During the early months of friendship, you had confided in him that you struggled with portraying emotion like others normally did. Maybe it had something to do with growing up with a father who did it so perfectly when he was out of the house. When he wasn't actively playing the âdadâ part, Aaron Hotchner would wear an unreadable mask like it was his armor, his defense from the outer world, but as soon as he got home, he was back to his main role. You would watch him with his coworkers and mimic him perfectly to make him laugh. At some point, making fun of and imitating his demeanor had become some serious form of self-defense for you. Spencer, then, joked that you were making your way to the perfect job, but then he had gotten serious and told you that it wasn't a flaw. That it wasn't a problem that you kept deeply to yourself sometimes â that it was okay to be yourself around him. You had felt safe by his side since then.
But now, what did those words mean? Were they lies?
He breathed out your name, softly, "I... I... I'm sorry."
"Just drop it," you replied, pushing the elevator button. Your dismissive tone and your action of leaving made Spencer feel utterly desolate, like he had done the wrongest thing in the world and perhaps he had, but he just wanted you to let him in. For once, he wanted to have the answers from your lips, not spend any more time analyzing your every single action and words...
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..."
"You know, SpencerâŠ" he looked up at you when he heard his name, as you held out an arm to hold the elevator doors open. As if thinking better than to say anything, you sighed and turned to enter the elevator, shaking your head with the most disappointed look he had ever seen on your face.
Spencer tried looking at you one last time before the elevator doors closed, and despite your face being as unreadable as it often was, he saw a flicker of sadness that stung his heart more than he liked to admit. If he hadn't done anything wrong before, now he had utterly fucked everything up.
â
The drive home, for Spencer, was a torture. He knew that he had to pay attention to the road ahead of him, to the other vehicles and drivers, but his mind kept drifting to the last glimpse of you back in the headquarters. Your empty eyes appeared behind his eyelids every time he pressed his eyes closed. He willed himself not to cry, to not blur his vision, taking his frustration out on the steering wheel, where his grip was so tight that his knuckles turned white. As he parked his car and looked up to one of his windows, he remembered you. Because of course he would remember you.
The sight was almost comical, to be honest. You, clad in one of the suits that fitted you so well, sitting on his windowsill, a cup of green tea in hands as you stared out the window, trying to analyze every single drop of rain before it reached somewhere outside your vision range. The funny thing was that you had no shoes on, instead, Spencer lent you a mismatched pair, not being one used to having people over, he didn't have a pair of spare slippers. Then, you sat there with a dinosaur-pattern sock on one foot and a striped-pattern sock on the other.
Spencer, sitting on his sofa and holding his own cup (he had let you choose your mug and stayed quiet when you pointed quietly at his favorite), smiled to himself. It was weirdly calming seeing you out of your character, doing something so... human.
"I can feel you staring, you know," you said. And your tone was almost... teasing?
"Right. Sorry." He said, looking down at his steaming tea.
"I'm not scolding you," you said, turning to look at his direction with a grin.
"Right, noâheh..." he replied, bashfully, cheeks reddening at the sight of your smile.
If only you knew... how many hours he would lay awake at night, as thoughts swirled in his head, how everything seemed to shut down at the thought of you. How he would fall asleep to the wish of being on the receiving end of one of your rare smiles, how he appreciated that you were always the first one he talked to upon his arrival at the headquarters. How... how he would do anything for you to look at him under a different light.
Seemingly out of nowhere, you giggled. Everything stopped.
Spencer.exe has stopped working.
"HehehâI guess... It's not everyday you get to see a Hotchner so out of itsâhehehâhabitat." You quipped, looking at him with a smile on your face.
Suddenly, Spencer lost his voice. The connection between his brain and his tongue, which felt heavy, disappeared. Completely speechless, eyes slightly wide at the sound of your laughter. It made you laugh a bit more, but when his stare and open mouth got too much to handle, you looked down at your feet, wiggling your toes to distract yourself from the intensity of his gaze full of awe. Then, Spencer got back to his senses, smiling at you as you missed it to look away in embarrassment.
Spencer blinked away the tears and left his car, entering his apartment. As he took off his shoes, he let the tears fall at the sight of your windowsill.
â
Meanwhile, you were getting wasted at some bar. Not just any bar, but the one you usually went with Spencer when you were feeling daring and wanted a change from the places where you both used to go to. You were a bit of a lightweight, so a couple of drinks were enough for you to start playing trivia with Spencer and let your gaze linger for longer, basking in the sight of him so carefree, having fun with you.
Upon your arrival, the bartender that usually took care of your orders, MJ, greeted you with a smile. When she saw no one was joining you, she frowned. "Good evening, Hotch. Where's loverboy?"
You sent her a look, but since you were letting your guard down, after all, there were no acquaintances or friends around, you didn't know if the look came out as a glare or if you looked like a kicked puppy. She snorted. "Gee... That bad, huh?" She asked, and you didn't answer again, though you muttered a soft thanks, MJ when she gave you your go-to drink.
And it turned into two drinks. Three. Four...
(MJ was now giving you alcohol-free drinks, too worried for your well-being. You and Spencer started to grow on her as you two kept coming back.)
You rested your chin on your left hand while you traced patterns with your right index finger on the counter. MJ was eyeing you suspiciously, drying a few glasses with a washcloth. "He kissed another girl." You admitted, quietly.
"No way." She gasped.
"Way."
"But... I thought you two were a thing." MJ was baffled, placing down the objects she was holding in sheer shock. "I always thought you two were like... together for years."
"We were a thing.... I think, at least... I don't know, MJ." You sighed, tucking a stray of hair behind your ear. Looking up at her, hazy eyes taking in her focused expression, you sniffled, "we were on this case and then he met a girl and then the next moment the two of them were making out in a pool. In a freaking pool."
She tsked, anger flashing in her eyes, "I swear, those nerdy guys are the worst."
"Yeah..." You muttered, fiddling with your straw. "Can I have another one?"
She pursed her lips, but she relented. Then, as she handed you the liquid, a guy sat next to you. Did he look like Spencer or were you already hallucinating?
"Hi. I'm Dave. Can I buy you a drink...?" He asked with a small smile, wanting to know your name.
No, not Spencer. Itâs cool.
"Hi, I..."
MJ cut you off. "Hey, Dave, I think she had too much to drink already."
They exchanged looks and it took you a minute to feel offended by her interruption and knowing you were perfectly capable of speaking for yourself, but realizing you would probably have to entertain a stranger, you felt grateful for it.
Dave left with a sour smile. "Thanks." You muttered, again, looking at MJ.
"Do you need me to get you a cab, honey?"
"That would be great." You said, placing money bills to pay for your drinks and the tip.
MJ looked around to spot someone to keep an eye on the bar as she led you out of the place, hand never leaving your shoulder. As she called a cab, she made you stand on only one leg to make sure you weren't gonna need her to go with you. You scoffed, but obeyed her all the same, with a low snicker. As you two waited for the cab driver, a woman who MJ trusted with her life (and her favorite regulars), you tried to make conversation to make up for embarrassing yourself by talking about Spencer with someone. How pathetic.
"So, what does MJ stand for?"
She chuckled, shaking her head at you and at your dazed eyes. "That's classified information."
"I'm familiar with that."
The cab driver, Paula, arrived. She greeted the both of you with a smile and a cheerful good evening! As you entered the vehicle, you rolled the windows down and pressed the subject further, "Seriously, is it Mary Jane or were your parents more creative?"
She rolled your eyes at you, shaking her head. "It's Mary Jane. MJ because who would take me seriously?"
You smiled. "I like the shoes!"
Paula started driving slowly, just to let other drivers drop their own passengers, as you were lost in your own little world, serious expression taking over your face again, not wavering, as you delved deeper into the whirlwind of thoughts plaguing your head. Paula, looking at you through the rear-view mirror, asked, "Is everything okay, honey?"
You buckled your seatbelt. "Yes, yes. Just... keep driving slowly, please."
"Where to?"
Only then you realized you never gave her an address. Closing your eyes and taking a deep breath, you gave her Spencer's, telling her you were going home.
â
An unknown number had sent Spencer a couple of messages.
[8:32 p.m.] Lovergirl is here, drinking all by herself.
[8:32 p.m.] Water, but still. I'm not having her passed out without you here.
[8:40 p.m.] Sent her home, people were starting to approach.
Throughout the time he had spent with you at the bar, the two of you exchanged numbers with MJ in case she needed your help â you know, being FBI agents and whatnot. But Spencer didn't need to see her name to know it was her and she was talking about you; 'lovergirl' and 'passed out without you here' gave him clue enough. His stomach tied in knots when he read that people were starting to approach her, the nagging feeling that the image conjured in his mind was making him feel almost sick, then, it hit him like a truck: Lila Archer.
Their⊠case? was as fleeting as a careless glance. To be honest, Spencer accepted her advances to spite you for having such power over him, even if unknowingly so. The young agent felt like you were so out of his league, so out of reach â you were all that pile of confidence and stoicism and pure lusciousness and everything to him. And he was a young guy who truly had barely been kissed so far. How could he approach you, charm his way into your heart, especially when you barely bared it? With Lila, it was... nice. Easy, even. It was nice being wanted, to be able to read her intentions and desires like a children's book. With you, it was a tantalizing challenge, one he was, for the first time, struggling with. It was not like having a high-school crush, not like pining over the untouchable girls that would catch his interest as he grew older. No. This was something new. You had hit him deeper than ever or anyone before.
Plus, as much as he hated to admit it, he gave room to the anxious thoughts regarding your father as well. Would it affect his relationship with his superior? Would it affect your relationship with your father? Spencer felt dizzy just by the mere thought of ruining something uniquely yours. No, he couldn't impose himself on your life like that. It was mean, it was wrong, it was immoral.
To want, to desire, is to be selfish.
It was a bold assumption. To think you were jealous of him. Nevertheless, the signs were all there, had been all along. He was just dumb and scared enough of making assumptions.
A barely there, faint sound of a knock on his door made Spencer fly out of his bed, dropping his phone on the bedroom floor, but he didn't pick it up. He had a suspicion as to who could be knocking on his door, but he was too scared of assuming anything. Again. Opening the door, he saw you, breathing a bit heavily. The stairs, he supposed. You always complained about them. Once you exchanged looks, Spencerâs surprised one and your earnest one, you asked, "Do you really think I'm a robot?"
Shit. He could feel his heart breaking in a million little pieces. The insecure edge of your voice and words made him squeeze his eyes shut; in his mind, he was kicking himself simultaneously as he sank down to his knees, on your feet, begging you to forgive and forget his dumb, stupid, frustrated, unrealistic words.
"No," he breathed out, wincing, almost as if he was in physical pain. "IâI didn't mean to talk about you like that. I was..."
"Frustrated?"
He nodded, silently, eyes never leaving your face. Your speech, albeit way out of the ordinary that he was used to, was flawless. If not by the dilated pupils and the faint smell of alcohol, not to mention MJ's texts, he would dare to say you were perfectly sober. "I was, too." You admitted, looking down.
Spencer made way for you to enter his apartment. He watched as you kicked your shoes off. The sight, that had become as common as the act of breathing, made his way flutter. You intended on staying. Or so he hoped. You walked further into the place, noticing everything as it ever was, as if you hadn't been to his apartment for some time now. "You must be thinking why I'm here," you said, moving to sit on the couch and mentioning him to sit on the small coffee table in front of you, as if you owned the place, and not him.
Perhaps it was true.
He closed the door once you were inside, hesitating for a moment before joining you. He kept noticing things about you; the way you were walking, the way you could barely look him in the eye, the way you looked⊠âHow much did you have to drink?â He asked, quietly.
"Not much. You know I don't usually drink because I canât hold my drinks. And I'm sure MJ was giving me plain water at some point." You said, looking up at him. Well, at least, your speech flawlessly delivered, even though you were moving a bit more⊠disoriented than usual. She's totally a Hotchner.
"I... I am," he started, sitting in front of you carefully. "I... I'm sorry. It's just... You've never been so distant. I guess that I was mean to you to elicit some reaction."
Your analytical gaze softened upon his confession. You needed to give him some break, be a little easy on him. Well, easier than you were being as of lately. Nodding lightly, you added, "I'm here to apologize, too. I know... I know that I pushed you away and I made you think that... that that was your fault. It's not."
He froze. No, he wouldn't have you taking the blame for how his actions caused you to react. He looked up at you, reaching out a hand to touch your intertwined ones, "It is."
"Hear me out. Please." You said, lowly, not breaking eye contact. This was so hard, and you had never felt so afraid before. How ironic â to be afraid of being brave. "I... I guess that by now you know why I pulled away."
"I do," he admitted, nervously. "It took me some time, but I... I think I figured you out."
You looked down, embarrassed. It was overwhelming for him to see you portray such different and so many emotions all at once. To you, it was as agonizing as it was freeing. "Well, yes. So... It, um, it wasn't fair. We... we are not something. We are not a thing."
His heart, doing all the thinking and feeling, nearly stopped. As if it wasn't enough, you kept on going, "I'm sorry, I truly am, for how I behaved and how I made you feel by being absent. It's... it's not my place. You have your own life, Reid. I can't be upset with you for making decisions. You're a grown man..." you sighed, glancing at every direction but at him. "I know that I'm wrong, okay? And I know that I shouldn't have pushed you away, nor should I have kept my feelings from you."
Spencer drew in a long breath. He didn't know what to say, but you couldn't be more wrong. All at once, he wanted to scream, but he didn't know what ro say; he wanted to run, but he didn't want to leave you alone â not for a second. He didn't ever want you out of his sight; he didn't want to be the one you were apologizing to, hell, he wanted everything to be okay between them, but it was nice that she was talking to him, finally.
"I..."
Every time he thought he could say something, words failed him. Then, you took it as another opportunity to word-vomit everything you've been feeling. "I was... I was jealous. I didn't like to see that. I didn't like that it happened. But I also know that I have no right to be upset with you because you're single and she's attractive and you're both consenting and willing to do whatever you please, so..." You shrugged as if speaking those words aloud didn't stab new holes in your heart.
Spencer looked at you, totally speechless. It made you snicker. And speak further. Shut up, you idiot. Please, please, please! "And, ahâhahahahâI guess I am, indeed, a bit of a robot because it took me a bit of alcohol to pluck up the courage to come here and totallyâhicâdestroy our friendship by telling you I love you so much; that I'd hate to see you with anyone other than me. It happened and I hated it. It still stings."
Spencer's heart threatened to fail once again. Your giggles, your words, your confession... His mind completely short-circuited. She loved him. She loved him? She loved him?!?!???!!! Thatâs what sheâd just said, apparently. Okay, calm down. And sheâd been jealous. She didnât like him kissing another woman, because she fucking loved him. Say something, you dumb idiot, his brain shrieked. Say something!
You parted your lips to say something else, but apparently decided against it. Another beat of silence of Spencer staring dumbly at you. "I'm going," you blurted out, standing up.
Spencer, at breakneck speed, stood up as well to stop you from walking away, placing his hands tentatively on your shoulders. Your bodies were now apart by mere inches. "No." His voice was so small and pained that you sat back down.
Despite your apparent willingness, your next words told him about your turmoil. "Why would I stay, Spencer? I've been pouring my heart out to you and you haven't said a thing."
Looking at you, so bare and so vulnerable, Spencer suddenly had flashbacks from when he had lashed out on you earlier and simultaneously fought the feelings that were bubbling inside of him upon your confession. Couldn't you see the sheer shock on his face? Couldn't you see that he was battling against every single bit of self restraint not to pull you into his embrace and make you believe him when he would tell you that you were the only woman for him?
Sure, he had dreamed of you saying those words to him countless times as time went by and you two got closer. Shit, he literally dreamed of it. Of you. Speaking sweet nothings to him... He broke out of his daze, realizing that he was deadly silent, "Don't go..."
"Then say something. I'm here. Not as Hotch's daughter, not as your coworker, not as a part of the team you work with. I'm here as the woman in whose heart you've grown over the last few months. I'm terrified of your answer and you keep depriving me of it." There was a hint of annoyance and hurry on your voice, and he could understand you, he truly could. He just didn't... he lost his voice when he looked at you.
Saying your name softly, he beginned, âI said stupid, untrue things, and Iâm sorry. Iâm a jerk, and I know that Iâm a jerk andâ" You quirked your eyebrow and he took a deep breath, trying to cut his rant. "Just... don't sit there and think that I have nothing to say."
"Have you said it?" You pressed it, quirking an eyebrow.
"No." He admitted, widening his eyes a bit as he realized his mistake.
At the same time, you shot, "Not saying something is also an answer for meâ"
"âbut not for the reasons you're thinking! Do you know how hard it is for me right now?" Spencer was starting to sound very desperate and pathetic, not to mention the fact that he wasn't answering your questions.
Deep breaths (from both ends).
"Look, Reid..." He glared at you upon hearing his last name. "I think I should go home. You and I clearly need some spaceâ"
"What we need to do is talk."
You sighed. "Then why won't you give me an answer?"
Silence.
"You won't even remember this in the morning."
At that, you deemed yourself utterly defeated. This was useless. "I'm sorry I came over. I'm... I'll just go, okay? Please, don't be upset about tonight. I apologize in advance."
The sight of her, once more shying away from him and turning to escape from him, was making Spencer frustrated, with himself, to no end. His heart clenched at your apology, to which he shook his head vehemently. The thing is, he wanted to get ready to answer you, properly, just like he always had some trick up his sleeve or some funny or curious fact to blurt during the most random moments. Spencer was good at speaking, but only when the speech was already ingrained into his mind, something he had read or rehearsed before. Plus, he was sure your state of drunkenness would stop you from remembering that moment.
Spencer dashed to his door, barely stopping you. No, no, no, no, no... She can't leave. This might be my only chance. "You're not going anywhere."
"Excuse me?"
"Stay with me. I don't want you to go." He said, softly, slowly, looking straight into your eyes. It made you dizzy. Either that or the alcohol.
"No?"
"Y-you're drunk and I... I don't think it's safe for you to go by yourself and it's late and... and..." he trailed off, nervously, desperate to get you to stay.
"I'm not drunk."
"You're not fooling me. You might be as concise as ever but you're not sober. Stay."
"Promise... promise you won't be upset with me?"
His heart dropped, heavy with guilt. And with love for you. "I promise."
Spencer silently led you back to the couch, gingerly holding your hand. He felt dazzled, speechless, desperate, frustrated, all at once. But your touch was starting to ground him back to reality, where you were real, having confessed your feelings for him, and he was a mess, not even being able to say anything back. Without much thinking, he said, "You should stay over tonight."
"Okay... I'll take the couch."
"As if I'd let you sleep on the couch."
"It's okay."
"Stop... stop acting like I sent you away."
You kept silent. You felt like he did. Through his touch, he hoped to get you to understand that his feelings were a mess, but they existed, and they were real, and they were yours. "That'd be alright with me, you know. Taking your couch. I think I would sleep better on your floor than I would ever in my bed. To... to say that anything is better if you're somehow involved."
His stomach made a flip-flop. Brain short-circuited again. You yawned, as if you had just made an annoying comment on the weather.
"Are you tired?" He managed to mutter.
"I am."
"Come on. Let's get you to bed."
"No."
"What do you mean 'no'? I'm not letting you on the couch. Come on."
"I can't go to your bed with outside clothes." You booped his nose.
He chuckled lowly, confused a little by your words. "Are you seriously worried about clothes?"
"You don't like germs. That's why I removed my shoes."
Okay, he thought, if I manage to put her to sleep without having a heart attack, I definitely don't need a cardiologist's appointment because it would mean I'm that strong.
"Y-you... remembered?" Damn it, Reid. Stop stuttering.
You sighed, tiredly, and rested your head on his shoulder, looking down at his hand holding yours. "I remember everything about you."
"You do?"
"Yes. Fortunately or unfortunately."
Spencer was too stunned to speak. Too stunned, too dumb, too afraid. Damn it. Damn it. He couldn't stop cursing internally. He forced himself to pull you towards his bedroom and even though he still sensed some uncertainty, he kept going. Reaching for a pair of sweatpants and a big t-shirt, he gave those to you. "You can change into these," as he left the room to make you more comfortable.
"Wait!" You almost shrieked.
"What happened?" He prompted, worriedly, reaching a hand out to touch your arm.
"I don't want you to go."
He bit back a sigh. "I'll be just outside."
"Just... stay here?"
"I can'tâ" he interrupted himself, just turning around so his back was to you instead. At that, he looked up at his ceiling and prayed to any deity to let him survive that night.
He could hear the sounds of your movements. The zipper being undone, the soft ruffling of the fabric as you tugged your shirt up your head... He was imagining your exposed skin, every perfect inch, how would you look without all those clothes that suited you so nicely, how would it be to touch you, to run his fingertips all over your heated skin, how would it be to kiss every freckle on your body, toâ"Done."
Turning around, the sight was adorable, which made him somewhat guilty of his early impure thoughts. "I feel like Alice when she shrunk into a tiny human."
He couldn't fight the smile at your words. He led you to his bed, where you laid on your back on top of the covers, staring at the ceiling. Spencer left you briefly to get you a glass of water and some painkillers to leave by the bedside table. You thanked him with a silent glance. As he turned to leave, once again, you said in a small voice, almost phrasing it like a question, too afraid of the answer. "Stay."
"I'll take the couch."
"You asked me to stay, thrice, I guess⊠And I did. I asked you once and you did. I still have a few requests left. I'm keeping tabs."
He relented, laying next to you and placing a pillow between you two. You breathed out a chuckle and he shook his head, clearly knowing where your mind had gone to. He placed his hand on top of the pillow, offering his comfort, and then you tentatively placed yours on top of his. He grinned to himself.
It was hard for him to wrap his head around what had happened that night. He knew his words â or lack of â could be read the wrong way and you possibly did, but he also hoped that his actions were speaking louder. Just as he was getting lost in thought again, he heard your voice once more.
"Spence?"
That damned nickname.
"Thanks for, um, being so respectful. Not that I don't think you'd be. But, um, as you've said, I'm drunk. And I told you I love you. And you're simply holding my hand." He gulped. He was keeping count, too, of how many times you said you loved him. Twice, so far, but he wanted so much more, endlessly. He wanted to lose track. "I guess... that makes me love you even more," you finished, crushing his heart between your palms, voice thick with sleep.
When he finally turned his head to look at you, your eyes were closed and you looked peaceful, drifting off to sleep. Then, when he was sure you were actually asleep, he stood up from his bed, grabbing a pillow and a spare blanket to lay on the floor.
"I'll gladly sleep on my floor if it means I get to have you around, too..."
â
Spencer didn't get any sleep.
He tossed and turned on the floor all night long, both because his carpet was not the most comfortable spot to sleep on, but also and mostly because there was no way in hell his mind stopped working. All through the night, Spencer fought the urge to shake you awake to ask if this was real, if you really loved him, if the words that slipped through your lips were in fact your feelings towards him. Despite his curiosity and eagerness, he let you sleep, figuring that he had already put you through too much already. As you slept, a movie played on his mind: your moments together, your confession of love, and overthinking the words we are not something. We are not a thing. He feared that you would wake up and realize how badly he had screwed up and decide not to want him anymore. Yes, he was that anxious.
You, on the other hand, even though confused by his lack of answer to your heartâs words, felt lighter than ever by speaking out your truth (the booze did help you a lot, though). Being as analytical as you were had its perks. One of them is that you never let yourself suffer too much for too long, too attached to reality to care much about the rest. So what if he rejected you? Life goes on â and thatâs what you thought with every other loser that you caught yourself thinking too much of. Spencer, though⊠Who were you kidding? Spencer was Spencer. And that meant the world⊠It wasnât so bad, if he actually rejected you⊠youâd only have to face him every day, until the rest of your lives, doomed to work together, cursed to think and rethink all over again small, fleeting moments such as an exchange of longing glances.
(You felt strangely calm due to your touch with reality. Maybe, just maybe, you were hoping for the best based on his care with and for you. But boy, were you ready to give him a piece of your mind.)
As your eyes fluttered open, you stretched your limbs on an unfamiliar bed with too much space. Upon your confusion, the memories came back with full force. You jolted, sitting down, searching for him â and, to be honest, not wanting to find him. The house was deadly silent, so you tried to trick yourself that you were sure he wasn't there. You dashed to the bathroom, taking a quick shower to get rid of the shame and the faint reek of alcohol. As you moved around his stuff, you couldn't help but think that you were so familiar with his things that it was almost like you belonged there. Sigh. It turns out that hiding emotions is easier than feeling them, especially their extremes.
As soon as you finished putting on your own clothes, you stopped dead in your tracks as you heard footsteps outside the bedroom. You froze, not knowing what to say. Or do.
Spencer entered the room, holding a tray meticulously organized with some food on it. âMorning. I, um, made you breakfast.â Because of course he would make you fucking breakfast.Â
âMorning,â you replied awkwardly and hoarsely. Maybe you cried a little bit, who knows⊠âThanks, you didn't have to.â
âI did.â
You take your time to get a good look at him. He had bags under his eyes that appeared to be tired. The sight made your heart drop. âI'm sorryâŠâ
âDon't be.â
âBut I was wrong.â
âSo was I.â
âButââ
âLast night you said some things. Do you, uh, do you remember what you told me?â You nodded, unable to speak. âDo you remember what you told me?â He repeated, trying to get a verbal answer from you.
âYes, Spencer. I remember.â
âCan you listen to what I have to say now?â
You nodded, weakly.
âI didn't say anything because⊠because everything had gone in the most opposite direction they could've gone.â He said, approaching you calmly. âI was up the entire night, hoping to find the right words to tell you that would make you believe me after I⊠was stupid. I⊠First, I'm sorry I made you feel that way. I know you said that we're nothing, that we weren't something, that we didn't have anything⊠but⊠but you're everything to me.â At that, your eyes finally met his. The intensity of your gaze made him shudder, but he kept going. âAll the time we've spent together was nothing compared to what I want to have with you⊠and⊠and⊠God! Do you have any idea of the torture I was put through with you? Constantly thinking of what we could be, what we should be, too scared of your reaction or thatâthatâthat Hotch decided to chop off my neck because he found out that I was crushing on his only daughter!â
At the mention of your dad, you burst out laughing. Seriously? That was such a clichĂ©! âHey! I'm serious!â
âI'm sorryâŠâ You bit your bottom lip, fighting the urge to laugh at him some more. He was adorable.
âAs I was saying,â he continued, trying to sound annoyed, but a hint of a smile threatened to break on his lips, and he didn't pull away when you approached him nor he did when you wrapped your arms around his waist, resting your chin on his chest, looking up at him, adoringly. He looked down, meeting your gaze, âI⊠I love you. I love you too. God, it just feels so good to say that!â
You giggled, again. God, he could never get used to that sound.
âAnd Iâm sorry for being so mean to you when I was frustrated. I should have been more patient and my unthoughtful words hurt you.â You kept silent, remembering his words. âIâIâll spend the rest of my life apologizing if youâll have me.â He added, intimidated by your gaze.
Silence. âWell, I accept your apologies. I was unfair to you as well. And you know where I stand when it comes to you. My feelings, I mean.â
âI do⊠ButâŠâ
âBut?â
âI'd like to hear you say it.â
âSay what?â
âThat you love me?â
âI don't know. Do I, really?â You joked.
He blushed furiously, ready to stutter himself out of that situation. âNo, I mean⊠youâyou said thatâthat you remembered what you said last night and⊠so⊠putting two and twoâŠâ
Another giggle interrupted him. You traced his jawline, leaning up to kiss his right cheek. âI really, really love you.â A kiss to his left cheek. He chuckled. âI love you.â A kiss on the tip of his nose, to which he snorted, totally lovestruck. âSo much.â A lingering, tender kiss to his forehead. He closed his eyes, already anticipating the next spot you would press your soft lips to.
As you made your way to finally kiss his lips, you decided to tease him and let him wait for a bit longer. Spencer groaned in protest and you chuckled a bit, finally deciding that it was enough. Pressing your lips to the corner of his mouth, making him sigh, you were thrilling on making him more and more eager. His grip on you tightened just slightly as he let out a shaky breath. You wanted to laugh, but instead, you poked fun at him. âNow you know what it's like to be teased.â
âI love you. Oh, Jesus⊠You're driving me insane. You're here⊠And you, you're youâŠâ
You grinned, looking up at him, finally, finally pressing your lips to his. As you let out a small sigh, his breath hitched, both of you utterly drowning in relief and satisfaction. You pulled back a bit, grinning, going back to kissing him. Spencer's hands found your jawline, sliding back to tangle in your hair as he sucked your bottom lip into his mouth. Parting your lips slightly, you granted him full access to kiss you properly, and he moaned at the taste of you, gripping your hair rougher than before. You groaned softly, and he proudly heard and swallowed all your small sounds.
The ring of a phone broke the urgent atmosphere that was building between you two. Spencer ignored it, letting it ring until you pulled away, gasping for air. As you did, the noise stopped and you met his lost eyes, totally dumbstruck, and you laughed because you probably looked the same way. He gave you a charming, lopsided grin, too stupid, too hypnotized to say anything.
The phone began ringing again. âSon of aâŠ!â he cursed, picking up the phone. âHi, this is Dr. Spencer Reid and unless this is an absolute emergency, I'm kinda busyââ
âReid.â Aaron Hotchner's firm voice hit Spencer like a bucket of cold water. Widening his eyes, he gulped.
âYes⊠sir?â You smiled at that. Of course you knew who he was talking to.
âWe have a new case.â Hotch announced.
âOh⊠okay⊠I, um, IâI'll be there in 20.â
Silence.
âIs everything okay, Reid?â Hotchner could read anyone, Spencer was now sure of that. Even through the goddamned phone.
âWhâyeah, yeah⊠Everything's⊠totally fâfine.â He cursed under his breath as you gripped his vest, trying not to laugh.
âDo you know where she is?â Hotch inquired after another moment of quietness.Â
âWho?â He squeaked. You chuckled silently.
âMy daughter.â Of course it was his daughter.
Playing dumb is not a good look on you, you mouthed.
âNâno⊠I haven't⊠heard from her.â
âSure.â Hotch said, skeptically. Spencer could feel the sweat on his forehead. After a moment, your father finished the call with an unreadable âWe need to talk.â
Once the phone call ended, you burst out laughing at Spencer's reaction. âNot funny.â He protested, a frown on his face and a soft smile betraying his faux frustration.
âCome on, it is funny.â
He glared at you. âWhat do you think he wants to talk about?â
âI don't know. Men talk. I wouldn't want to get involved.â You said, grinning, pulling him by his vest.
He squeezed his eyes shut, relishing in the feeling of having you so close. âDo you think he knows?â
âOf course he knows.â
âHow are you so collected?â
âBecause I'm not the one he's going to scare to death, apparently.â
âHe said âweâ need to talk. Emphasizing âweâ. If he knows youâre here, then it probablyââ you cut him off with a kiss.
âWell, then⊠Are you ready to face your biggest fear? The frightening Aaron Hotchner?â
Glancing at you adoringly, he chuckled. âIâd face him and whoever, whatever, a thousand times, if it meant that I could get you in the end.â
â
A couple days after the case, you and Spencer meet again, in your apartment. Sitting down on the couch, you ask him, amusedly, âDo you think he noticed?âÂ
âTotally. I could barely look him in the eye for the first moments,â He said with a fond smile, hiding from you the fact that he had awkwardly and bravely spoken to your dad about your relationship. You laughed, placing your legs on the top of his legs. âI guess we should thank Lila, after all.â He joked, and you laughed out loud.Â
Leaning him closer to him, grabbing his chin and looking deep into his eyes, you muttered, âDonât ever say her name again, Spence.â
Your wish was always his command. It would always be.
#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid fanfiction#criminal minds fanfiction#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid x you#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid x yn#spencer reid x hotchner!reader#spencer reid angst#spencer reid self insert
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NEW POST FROM @ichnit3
his prize possession đ”đ©·
idk what this really is yall⊠itâs a drabble ig âŠ
His favorite kind of girls were the lonely ones who sat alone at the bars while their friends danced around with other men, gosh he could go for those all day - taking them to his home and molding them into his personal 'good little girls' before slowly getting tired of them and throwing them out. But the day he found you he just couldn't throw you out.. he wanted to keep you. You were his prize possession, he treated you like a trophy â everything you wanted he would get not matter what it was.
But if you want something you had to do something back in return and those 'returns' were movies for him... the once sweet man at the bar offering to pay for your drinks and making you giggle now had your hands tied up with a camera in your face. âSmile for me babyâ his voice raspy but heavenly â the only thing you could do was smile. âGood girlâ his âgood girl â.. his â innocent girl â.. his â beautiful piece of art â.
His friends were even jealous of him. His sweet girl who started to do everything for him â â my love .. could you make our guest some tea? â your sweet smile and cheerful voice made the other men crave you. â youâre a lucky man â , â mmm i would love to be laid up with her all day â , â her innocence⊠it would drive me insane â , â sheâs such a sweetheart â .
Those were a few things his friends would say about you â sometimes they would be sweet and kind things but sometimes it would be very sexual things. Yet he never got mad but instead he would do some of the things with you ⊠fucking you by a big open window, playing with you under the tables at restaurants, or even teasing you in front of his friends. You were his â prize possession â and his only.
âshh.. shh youâre okay my sweet girlâ he whispered in your ear causing a goosebump reaction to hit your warm body. pumping and pumping you felt your nails dig deeper into his back while his cold hands helped your body bounce on his thick cock â â you feel it baby? is that why you are lost for words? â the non stop pumping now had your legs twitching. You felt his breath against your skin .. it was heavy and yet steady. he wanted to please this his toy ⊠because again you are his prize possession and soon to be the love of his life.
#ichnit3: writing?!#x reader#x black reader#x chubby reader#drabble#aot smut#jjk smut#bleach smut#nanami smut#geto smut#onyankopon smut#naruto smut#ichigo smut#itachi smut#sasuke smut#toji smut#eren smut#zoro smut#toji x chubby reader#onyankopon x chubby reader#gojo smut#kishibe smut#csm smut#aki smut
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đđ The Girl Next Door.
Spencer Reid x Neighbor!reader
series masterlist
Summary: If Spencer thought being secretly in love with you was hard, having to avoid you in the hallway was even worse.
Words: 4,8k.
Warnings & Tags: this is part of a series, check the masterlist to make sure you are in the correct chapter. mention of jail. painter!reader. post prison reid. spencerâs pov. lack of communication. the reader has a cat. angst, so much angst. english isn't my first language (sorry for my mistakes, be kind please).
Note: I struggled a lot writing this because it's a roller coaster, so sorry in advance.
âHow long? It's not a problem to take care of everything, but I'd like to know if you'll be okay orââ Your voice almost cracked for a moment, your eyes still trying to adjust to the sunlight streaming in through the bedroom window. Spencer's sheets were still wrapped around your body, and you felt so connected to them that the thought of getting up while still watching him toss and turn looking for his shoes was too much.
âI don't think more than a day or two, I'll be fine.â He stopped his chaotic steps for a second and stared at you as if to make a promise. He paused, glancing away as if to compose himself before adding, âI have some work in Mexico. It came up last minute, or Iâd have told you earlier.â His voice faltered, almost imperceptibly, and the words sounded rehearsed, like he was repeating something heâd practiced.
You frowned slightly, confusion flickering across your face. âWork in Mexico?â you echoed. âSince when do they send you out of the country for cases?â
âItâs not that kind of work,â he said quickly, his tone just a little too smooth, a little too practiced. âItâsâŠconsulting. A conference on forensic advancements, some behavioral workshopsâthings like that.â He kept his gaze on the floor as he spoke, as if afraid to meet your eyes. âI wonât be gone long.â
You didnât question him further. Why would you? Spencer wasnât the type to lie, and the way his brows knit together, the way his voice softened with the promise, âIâll be back soon,â made you believe him. But something about the way he shifted his weight, the way he avoided looking directly at you, left a faint unease in your chest.
âIâm sorry I couldnât have dinner with you yesterday. And breakfast now. Iâll make it up to you when I get back,â he added, his words tumbling out in a rush, as if trying to fill the silence.
You tightened the sheets around yourself, curling into their warmth, feeling the lingering heat from the side of the bed where he had been only moments before. It felt like he had never really left, the space around you still filled with the faint echo of his presence. Watching him now, his movements a little frantic, his gaze flickering toward the clock every so often, made you feel like he was slipping away too quickly. A part of you, small and selfish, wanted to ask him to stay. To sit back down, to let the world and his trip wait just a little longer.
But the words wouldnât come. Instead, you whispered, barely above a breath, as if afraid to disturb the fragile moment, âPromise?â
Spencerâs gaze softened even further, a tenderness washing over his features as he moved closer to you. His lips curled into a faint smile, one that didnât quite touch his eyes but was filled with something that made your chest tighten. âPromise,â he replied, his voice firm but gentle, as though sealing a pact between the two of you. He leaned down, his warm breath brushing your forehead before his lips followed, pressing a soft, lingering kiss against your skin. The kiss was tender, quiet, and almost reluctant, as though he didnât want to pull away from this moment either. For a moment, his forehead rested against yours, the space between you vanishing entirely. It felt like the world had narrowed to just thisâjust the two of youâand all the invisible lines you had drawn between friendship and something more blurred into nothing.
But before you could do something stupid, he pulled back, with his eyes lingering on you, still filled with a softness that made your heart flutter. âHave you seen my shoe?â he asked, his voice playful yet tinged with the usual frustration of his misplaced belongings.
You let out a small laugh, still wrapped in the sheets, the warmth from them mingling with the warmth of the moment. âOh, youâre a mess, little boy,â you teased, your voice light and affectionate, the fondness for him slipping out in every word.
âMittens take it again?â Spencer asked, his eyes glinting with playful exasperation. He had grown accustomed to your catâs antics, and he could hardly be surprised at this point.
You nodded, grinning as you pointed to the underside of the bed. âDing ding, genius,â you replied, your voice light and teasing as his gaze followed your finger. Sure enough, there it was, tucked under the bedâanother casualty of your mischievous catâs nightly adventures.
He grumbled good-naturedly, but a soft smile tugged at the corner of his lips, as if the chaos of the morning didn't matter when you were here with him and everything felt so domestic. As he bent down to pick up his shoe, you couldn't help but watch, your heart swelling at the sight of the man you were so in love with, even in his messiest moments. There was something about himâsomething in that momentâthat made him feel so good, as if everything else could wait and the obvious fact that he didn't feel the same way about you didn't matter. Anyone outside the room generally didn't matter. For now, it was just the two of you, tangled in sheets and laughter, clinging to a piece of time that was all yours and would be the only thing you'd have left when he was gone.
âShe loves you, thatâs why she does itâŠI guess she wants your attention,â you said, your voice trailing off, and the taste of the words felt sour in your mouth. It sounded too much like you were talking about yourself rather than your pet, and the realization hit you like a cold wave. It made your chest tighten in a way you couldnât explain, and you immediately wished you could take the words back. But you didnât.
He glanced at you, a thoughtful expression crossing his features. âI read something about that,â he said, his voice light, but you could tell he didnât entirely understand the weight behind your words. It didnât matter. You were used to it by now.
âYou read about everything.â You gave him a small, rueful smile, but it didnât quite reach your eyes, the bitterness of the moment creeping into your voice. You were fine with it, you told yourself. Fine with everything.
He glanced at the clock, a quiet sigh escaping him. âI have to goâŠitâs late,â he said, and you could hear the quiet resignation in his voice. The moment, it seemed, had reached its inevitable end.
âOkay.â The word slipped out of your mouth more dryly than you intended, and you hated the way it sounded. You didnât want him to leave. You didnât want the moment to end. But it was already slipping away, and you knew it. âBut before you goâŠcome here.â
He hesitated, looking at you with uncertainty in his eyes. But then, slowly, he took a step toward you, his face softening when you reached out to touch his cheek. The moment your fingers brushed against his skin, he shivered, and your heart skipped a beat at the contact.
âIsâŠis something wrong?â he asked, his voice softer now, as if sensing the shift between you.
âNo, I just want to say goodbye properly.â You shifted closer, your heart hammering as you moved toward him, your lips hovering near his. The temptation to close the distance, to kiss him, burned inside you. But you didnât. You couldnât.
âTake care and come back,â you whispered, the words carrying more weight than you meant. You kissed his forehead gently, your fingers instinctively smoothing his hair down as you did. âNow itâs like you have my blessing,â you added with a faint smile.
He smiled at you, the warmth in his expression a bittersweet thing that made your heart ache. âThank you, and good luck tomorrow with my godchildrenâs.â His voice was soft, but the moment was already passing, slipping away, and with it, the space between you both. He gathered his things, gave you one last lingering look, and then turned toward the door.
You stood there, watching him go, the weight of what you didnât say crashing down on you. The door clicked shut behind him, and you felt a hollow ache in your chest, a longing you couldnât quite name.
God, you really wanted kissed him.
God, he really wanted you kissed him.
When Spencer opened his eyes for the first time in a cell and felt a sickening jolt of disorientation. The dirty walls and a rickety bench stared back at him, mocking the comforting image of his organized room and, more painfully, the thought of you. The absence of your laughter, your touch, your presenceâeverything that had once grounded himâhit him like a freight train. He knew something was wrong.
As the days blurred together and the evidence piled against him, he clung to the belief that this nightmare wasnât real. Every hearing, every damning piece of evidence that chipped away at his freedom, felt surreal. Even when the judge handed down his sentence, condemning him to months behind bars, the finality of it didnât register. What shattered him was the moment he filled out his visitation schedule and consciously omitted your name. He hadnât wanted you to see him like that. He didnât ask anyone to explain, didnât try to soften the blow of his absence. That, he thought, was the point of no returnâthe moment he lost everything.
But Spencer was so wrong. The true breaking point came when he walked out of that hellhole, finally free, and climbed the stairs to his apartment. Each step was a physical ache, the pain in his chest sharper and heavier with every step. His hands trembled as he reached for his keys, the jangling sound unnervingly loud in the empty hallway. His gaze fell on your door, just a few steps away. The familiar sight sent his stomach into knots.
For the first time, he wished you wouldnât be there.
The thought was alien, unnatural. You had always been there, and he had always wanted you there. When he was too drained to cook, youâd suggest their usual coffee spot, your smile lighting up the grayest of mornings. When his back ached from long nights bent over case files, youâd massage his shoulders, insisting scented candles could fix his bad posture and his bad days. When his motherâs health took a downturn, and he felt his world crumbling, youâd hold him, stroke his back, and promise that everything would be okay. And when his social battery was drained at reunions, youâd step in with your bad jokes or your art facts, making the world feel manageable again.
Now, standing in front of his own door, his fingers clumsy with the lock, all he could hope for was silence. He didnât know how to face you, didnât know if he could explain the broken pieces of himself.
His door creaked open, and he was greeted by the familiar scent of the home he had only dreamed of for the last while. It was overwhelming: clean clothes, slightly sweet candles, and something undeniably yours. The apartment was exactly as he remembered it, as if time had stopped the moment he left three months ago and never returned until now. His heart shrank as he took it all in: the blanket you insisted on leaving on the couch, the pile of books you always meant to return to his library but never did, his fish swimming around as if nothing had happened, and even the plants by the window, thriving despite his absence because you had surely watered them without fail.
And then there were the little details, things that told him that you had not moved away from this place, from him. The plate you always left for his cup of coffee, the one you gave him last Christmas, was still on the counter. His favorite cardigan, the one he thought he had misplaced, was folded neatly on the back of the chair and smelled of the baby softener you liked to use. His books were exactly where he had left them, although one of them had a bookmark you had made, a telltale sign that he had read it and was waiting for him to come back to comment on it, as you always did.
But he hadnât returned.
Not then. And maybe not now at all.
Suddenly, the phone in his pocket rang, its shrill tone slicing through the heavy silence like a sharp reminder of reality. The vibration against his skin startled him, his body tensing as he pulled the device out. His gaze flickered down to the screen, and the name that appeared caused a knot to form in his stomach: JJ. His thumb hovered over the screen, his mind racing, unsure if he was ready for the conversation he knew would follow. But deep down, he knew there was no avoiding her. Jennifer wouldnât let him slip away unnoticed, and if he didnât answer, she might show up at his door, demanding answers he wasnât sure he had.
With a resigned sigh, he swiped the screen and lifted the phone to his ear. âIs everything okay?â
The concern in his own voice surprised him. Maybe it was instinct, or maybe he was just desperate to shift the focus away from himself.
âEverythingâs fine,â JJ replied, her voice steady but laced with something deeper. âI just wanted to check in. Youâve beenâŠquiet.â
He exhaled slowly, staring out the window, the city lights stretching before him and the memories cutting deep. âYeah,â he said, his voice low. âJust trying to catch up on things. All good here.â
âOkay,â she said softly, and there was a pauseâa hesitation that made his pulse quicken. He could almost hear her thinking, weighing her next words. Then she cleared her throat, the sound small but deliberate. âHave you seenâŠher?â
The question hit him like a physical blow, stealing the air from his lungs. He turned away from the window abruptly, pacing the length of the apartment as if motion could somehow ease the tension coiling tighter and tighter in his chest. âNo,â he said quickly, too quickly. His jaw clenched, the words tumbling out before he could stop them. âI donât know if I want to.â
The lie tasted bitter on his tongue, and he wasnât sure if he believed it himself. How could he say that when every thought of you still made his heart ache? When the idea of you haunted him, so vivid and constant it felt like you were in every shadow of his empty apartment?
Jenniferâs sigh crackled over the line, heavy and filled with the weight of unspoken truths. âSheâs been asking about you,â she said softly, her voice tinged with that unshakable sadness she tried so hard to hide. âEvery time I see her. I thinkâŠâ She hesitated again, and Spencer could hear her swallow hard, choosing her next words carefully. âI think you owe her an explanation.â
He swallowed saliva and tightened his fingers around the phone. JJ was right, of course. She always had been. But the idea of facing you, of trying to explain everything without drowning in tears, seemed impossible. How could he tell you the truth? How could he look you in the eye and admit that he had spent the last three months in jail, paying for a crime he had not committed? That he had done things that he deeply regretted, that made him sick and a horrible person?
You deserved better. You always had.
You were a blessing to anyone who had you around, and he knew that better than anyone. That's why he recommended you as a babysitter for JJ's kids, that's why he insisted that you come out to the bar with him and the team several times, that's why he told his mother about you, and that's why he gave you unlimited access to every single part of his life and told you things he'd never told anyone else. You were the one he thought of during those long, sleepless nights behind bars when JJ brought drawings from her boys. He imagined you there with them, sitting cross-legged on the floor, helping Henry with his homework or letting Michael pile blocks on your lap. It was sillyâheartbreaking, evenâbut the thought of you, of your warmth and your kindness, had kept him going.
âI have to goâŠclean some things,â he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper, so desperate to run away from the topic.
âOkay,â JJ replied softly, her voice tinged with sadness. âTell me if you need anything.â
Before Spencer could find the strength to speak, the line fell silent. The hum of the apartment filled the space around him, oppressive in its quiet, and he stood there, phone still clenched in his hand. The weight of it, the weight of everything, settled deeper into his chest, making it hard to breathe. He stared at the counter as if it could offer him some sort of escape from the quiet agony that had overtaken him. With a long exhale, he dropped the phone, his fingers lingering on it for a second longer than necessary, before pulling away with a heavy sense of finality.
Just as he was about to move, his mind already drowning in the whirlpool of thoughts he was so desperate to escape, a soft, muted thud broke the oppressive stillness of the apartment. The noise was faint, almost imperceptible, but in the suffocating quiet, it reverberated like a crack of thunder. His breath caught, his heart skipping a beat as his body went rigid. Slowly, he turned his head toward the source of the sound, his eyes locking onto the open balcony door.
A sleek black shape emerged from the shadows, moving with a practiced elegance that seemed almost ethereal in the dim light. Mittens.
âHey,â he murmured, his voice breaking on the single syllable, hoarse and unsteady as if even addressing his might shatter the fragile thread of control he was clinging to.
The cat paused for a moment, her head tilting slightly as if considering him, her eyes gleaming in the dim light. Then, without a second thought, she padded over, her steps confident and unhurried, the soft click of her claws against the floor the only sound in the room. She jumped lightly onto the couch, then onto the small table beside him, her movements fluid and practiced. As she reached him, Mittens sniffed his hand delicately, then nuzzled it gently, her warm, soft fur brushing against his fingertips. The familiar rumble of her purring filled the air, a soothing, almost hypnotic sound that cut through the tension and wrapped around him like a blanket.
Spencer let out a shaky breath he hadnât realized heâd been holding. âI didnât think Iâd see you again,â he whispered, his voice barely audible in the quiet of the apartment. He hesitated, his fingers brushing the soft fur of her head, unable to stop himself from reaching out.
Mittens leaned into his touch, her purr intensifying as her little body pressed against his hand, seeking warmth, some affection. She didn't care about the months she hadn't seen him or just heard his name spoken a thousand times by you. To her, he was still Spencer, the same one who had fed her, played with her, and cared for her whenever he could. That was enough. She was very happy.
âYou still remember me,â he murmured, a faint, fragile smile tugging at the corners of his lips. It was the first time heâd smiled in what felt like an eternity.
The cat blinked up at him, her green eyes half-lidded with contentment, as if to say, Of course I do.
For a long moment, he just stood there, his hand resting on her soft fur, letting her purring fill the empty spaces inside him. It was such a small thing, her presence, but it reminded him of youâof the life heâd left behind, the warmth he hadnât realized heâd needed so desperately until now.
But the calm didnât last, and Spencerâs heart nearly stopped when he heard a soft knock on the door. His gaze snapped up from the cat, who was now lazily sprawled across the arm of the couch, her purring uninterrupted. The knock came again, this time paired with a voice that sent a jolt through his chest.
âMittens?â
The voice was muffled through the door, but he knew it instantly. It was you.
Another knock followed, gentle but insistent. âAre you here, baby?â
He froze, every muscle in his body tightening as he registered the sound of your voice. You were here, in his apartmentâor at least on the threshold of it. The thought was both thrilling and terrifying. He wasnât ready for this. He wasnât ready to see you again.
The cat, oblivious to the tension that suddenly filled the room, stretched lazily before hopping down from the couch. Her tail flicked behind her as she padded toward the door, her movements casual, as if she belonged here. Her eyes were fixed on you as you stepped through the open door, your figure partially silhouetted by the light from the outside.
âThere you are,â you said softly, your voice brimming with relief. The warmth in your tone hit him like a physical blow, and he had to bite down hard on the inside of his cheek to stifle the sound threatening to escape.
You crouched down to scoop the cat into your arms, your movements gentle and practiced. âYou scared me,â you murmured, cradling her against your chest. Your voice softened, carrying that familiar tenderness heâd missed so desperately. âYouâve been running off so much lately.â
Spencer pressed himself against the shadowed wall, willing himself to disappear. He couldnât breathe, couldnât move, couldnât even look at you for fear his body might betray him. The apartment was dark enough to hide him, but he knew the signs of his presence were everywhereâhis phone abandoned on the counter, the faint indentation on the couch, the way the air seemed to shift with the weight of him being there.
You didnât notice. Your focus was entirely on Mittens as you stroked her soft fur, your touch so gentle it made Spencer ache. âI know you miss him,â you murmured, the words falling from your lips so quietly they almost didnât reach him. âI do too.â
The confession tore through him like a blade, sharp and unrelenting. His chest tightened, and he bit down hard on his lip, tasting the faint metallic tang of blood. Tears burned in his eyes, but he refused to let them fall.
You lingered for a moment, your gaze sweeping over the apartment as if you could feel his presence, even if you didnât see him. Then, with a soft sigh, you turned back toward the door.
âLetâs go home, baby,â you whispered, pressing a kiss to the top of Mittensâ head before stepping into the night.
The door closed with a quiet click, and Spencer was left alone once more. His knees buckled, and he sank onto the couch, his hand trembling as it pressed against his face. The silence was deafening, a hollow, aching void that swallowed him whole.
Maybe it was for the best. Maybe fate didnât want you to see him againâat least, not yet.
But then, the next morning, it happened.
You were returning to your apartment, groceries in hand, when you saw him.
He was standing at the end of the hallway with his back to you, as if he was leaving his apartment. As soon as you saw him, your heart skipped a beat and all your rational thoughts vanished. It seemed like an eternity since you had seen him, even though it had only been a few months. Your first instinct was to run to him, throw yourself into his arms, and demand an explanation, but something about his posture made you hesitate. He was stiff, distant, almost sad. His usual warmth was nowhere to be seen. And yet there was something different about him: his long hair, now a bit wilder and more unruly, framed his face in a way you had never seen before. Some curls fell over his eyes, and his beard had grown thicker and darker. The change in his appearance was shocking.
Without thinking, you dropped your groceries at your door and hurried toward him. âSpencer!â you called, your voice trembling with a rush of emotions you had bottled up for months.
He turned slowly, and for a split second, his eyes locked with yours. There was something in his gazeâa flicker of recognition, maybe guilt, but it quickly faded, replaced by a cool distance you had never seen in him before, at least not with you. Before you could stop yourself, you reached out and pulled him into a tight hug. It was instinct, more than anything, to wrap your arms around him like you always used to do. The warmth of his body felt like home, like everything you had missed was right there in your arms. You held on tightly, breathing him in as if this would somehow make up for the absence. Youâd been so lonely without him, and this, just holding him again, felt like it would fix everything that has been wrong lately.
But to your surprise, Spencer didnât move an inch. This time his body was rigid, unyielding, as if he didnât feel you or want you around. He did not return your hug. He didnât even seem to acknowledge it or really want it. His arms remained stiff at his sides, and you could feel his breath hitching against your neck, but he didnât respond. It was like hugging a stranger, someone you once knew but no longer recognized.
âGod, I missed youâŠâ You pulled back slightly, looking up at him, trying to gauge his expression, but his face was unreadable. His long hair now brushed against the collar of his shirt, the unruly beard framing his jawline. But his eyes were the only thing that stayed the sameâcold and distant, void of the tenderness they once held. âAre you okay?â
He didnât answer immediately. The silence hung between you, thick and oppressive, before he finally spoke, his voice flat. âSorry, IâŠI donât think Iâm the best person for that right now.â
Your heart sank, the warmth of the hug and reunion evaporating into a hollow chill. âWhat happened?â you whispered, feeling the pain creep into your voice. âWhere have you been? Why didnât you say anything? I was so worried for you and JJ donât say so much.â
He didnât smile. He didnât even look like Spencer, not the one you had knownâkind, warm, and always ready to offer comfort. His face was hard, closed off, and distant. He seemedâŠdifferent, almost cold. âIâm sorry, I needed to get toâŠwork,â he said, his voice clipped and curt. âI didnât think youâd be awake at this hour.â
You felt a pang of confusion and hurt at his words. âWhat do you mean? You didnât want to see me? You havenât been here in months,â you said, the bitterness creeping into your voice. âYou just disappear, and then you show up here, like nothing happened? You sleep here? I came to your apartment last night, and you werenât there.â
He didnât react. No apology, no acknowledgment of the pain heâd caused. He just stood there, cold, distant. âIâm sorry,â he said, the words almost sounding like an afterthought. âI had work to do. ItâsâŠcomplicated.â
âComplicated?â The word tasted bitter on your tongue. âThatâs all youâve got after disappearing for three months?â
Finally, his eyes met yours again, but there was no warmth in them. No tenderness, no familiarity. His gaze was hard, as cold as his words. âI donât owe you an explanation,â he said sharply, his tone final, cutting through the air like a knife.
It felt like a punch to the gut. The warmth that had once filled your heart whenever Spencer entered a room, the gentle care he had shown you, was now replaced by something colder. It was as if the person you had knownâthe person who had been your friend, your confidantâhad vanished along with the man who used to leave you sweet notes and show up with your favorite food after a rough day.
âYouâŠyou donât owe me anything?â you whispered, your heart breaking with each word.
The silence stretched between you again, suffocating. When he spoke, his voice was quiet, almost hesitant. âIâm sorry.â
But it was hollow, empty. A formality. Not an apology that meant anything.
And then, just as quickly as he had appeared, he turned, walking away. âI have to go,â he said, his voice softer now, but still detached.
Before you could say anything else, he turned, leaving as quickly as he had appeared. And just like that, he was gone againâleaving you alone with the deafening silence and a heart full of questions.
Just like your worst fear: Spencer was avoiding you in the hallway.
#criminal minds#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds x reader#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid x fanfiction#spencer reid x you#spencer reid angst#matthew gray gubler
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A Game of Hearts
Chapter twelve: Under Watchful Eyes
Summary: Y/Nâs father is a VIP for the games, he makes a deal with the Frontman that if he marries his only daughter that he will continue to sponsor the games. However, Y/N is not fond of this decision as she loathes the games and in turn, loathes the Frontman as well. Will she grow to love him? Will he let his walls down?
P t 1 P t 2 Pt 3 Pt 4 Pt 5 Pt 6 Pt 7 Pt 8 Pt 9 Pt 10 Pt 11 Pt 12 Pt 13
In-hoâs presence was a fortress around you. The second those VIPs started circling, closing in, you felt itâhis body went rigid, his movements sharp, calculating. His mask still covered his face, but you could feel the weight of his every decision through the air. He was a wall between you and them, and you clung to that wall like it was the only thing that could keep you from crumbling under the pressure.
The VIPs werenât hiding their excitement anymore. They were pushing forward, murmuring to each other with that sickening tone, their eyes hungry, searching for any crack in your armor. It made your skin crawl, the way they watched you, the way they talked about you like you were nothing more than a toy to pass around.
You couldnât let them see how scared you were. Your legs were shaking, but you refused to show it. Instead, you pressed your hand to In-hoâs back. It wasnât for him, reallyâhe didnât need reassurance. It was for you. His body was so solid, so unshakable, that it grounded you, even if just for a moment.
And then, like a shadow looming over everything, he appeared. The man in the panther mask stepped forward, his presence practically oozing arrogance. You could feel his eyes on you even before he spoke. âOh, come on, donât be like that, Frontman,â he said, his voice low, slick like honey but with a venomous edge. âYour job is to please us, remember? To meet our needs.â
The words hit you like a slap. The air turned colder, tighter. You wanted to shrink away, to disappear into the wall behind you, but In-ho didnât flinch. His back remained straight, his posture strong, like he wasnât going to let them tear you apart, not if he had anything to say about it.
The pack behind the panther-masked man started laughingâlow, cruel chuckles that only made your stomach churn harder. Some of them leaned forward, eyes scanning you like you were a prize to be fought over, something they could break and take for themselves. It wasnât the first time youâd felt like prey, but this time? It felt like they were all waiting for In-ho to slip. And if he did, you knew there was no way you could escape them.
But In-ho didnât slip. He didnât even budge. His voice, when it came, was like a warning. âNo,â he said, his tone smooth but firm, like heâd just drawn a line in the sand that none of them could cross.
You could feel the tension rise. The panther-masked man didnât back off. Instead, he just tilted his head, like he was sizing In-ho up, testing him. âYou seem to forget your place, Frontman,â he said, stepping closer, the mockery thick in his voice. âYouâre here to serve us. All of us.â
The other VIPs seemed to edge closer too, sensing the shift, their eyes dancing from In-ho to you. You could feel them closing in, their hunger more than just physical. It was like they were watching a spectacle, waiting to see what would break first: In-hoâs resolve, or yours.
In-hoâs hand never moved from his side, but you saw the tightness in his fingers. He wasnât going to back down. You could see it in the way he stood, unmoving, the line drawn in the sand.
The panther-masked man wasnât done, though. He stepped forward, his eyes glinting with amusement as he spoke again. âYou canât keep her safe from all of us, Frontman,â he mocked, his voice almost playful. âYou know what we like.â
The laugh of his posse rang out again, sharp and ugly, but In-ho didnât so much as twitch. He kept his posture steady, his voice calm. âStep back,â he ordered, his voice quiet but heavy with meaning. It wasnât a suggestion. It was a command. And somehow, they listened. Just for a moment.
The leaderâs smile flickered, but only for a second. He wasnât used to being defied, but he wasnât stupid either. He knew better than to push In-ho too far. At least, not in this moment.
Instead of arguing, the panther-masked man turned toward the others, his voice rising just enough for the rest of the VIPs to hear. âWeâll see about this.â His tone was still mocking, but there was a chill to it, like he was putting a pin in the situation for now, waiting for the next round.
You didnât take a breath until the crowd began to slowly pull back, still murmuring, still watching like they were waiting for the next fight to break out. In-ho didnât relax, but his presence softened, just enough for you to feel the change. His hand brushed lightly over your wrist as he turned, silently guiding you toward the exit. His pace didnât falter, and you followed him without question.
The second you were out of the room, In-hoâs grip on your wrist loosened, and you felt the weight of everything press down on you. You stumbled slightly, but In-ho caught you before you could fall. He didnât say anythingâhe didnât need toâbut the moment stretched out, his hand still steady on your back as he guided you down the hall toward your quarters.
As you walked, you couldnât shake the feeling of their eyes on you, the hunger of their stares still burning against the back of your skull. You didnât even want to imagine what they were thinking, what they were planning.
When you finally reached your door, In-ho didnât hesitate. He unlocked it, led you inside, and then closed the door behind him with a soft click.
For a moment, everything was still. The world outside seemed miles away, but the memories of those menâof the laughter, the jeers, the way they saw you as nothing more than a gameâwere still there, lingering in the air.
In-ho didnât speak immediately. He simply removed his mask, the last barrier between him and you. The moment it came off, it felt like a weight had been lifted from the room. For the first time, you saw him fullyâno cold eyes, no emotionless expression, just In-ho. The man who had just stood between you and those monsters.
For a split second, you caught a glimpse of what was hidden beneath the mask: the exhaustion in his eyes, the tension in his jaw. He didnât need to say a word. You knew how heavy the situation had been for him too.
âYouâre safe now,â he said quietly, his voice rougher than you expected. But there was relief in it, an assurance that he wasnât going to let you go.
The words didnât make you feel safe, not really. Not in this world. Not when you knew what was still waiting out there. But they did something else. They reminded you that, even if your father didnât lift a finger, even if you were alone in the chaos, you had In-ho. He was here. And that, for now, was enough.
You didnât say anything at first. You couldnât. Everything felt too muchâtoo raw, too new. The feeling of being watched, of being cornered, was still fresh, still eating away at you. But you could feel In-ho there, steady and unshaken, even when you couldnât be.
And then, without thinking, you stepped closer, your hand finding his. It wasnât a grand gesture. It wasnât some romantic actâit was just a way to ground yourself. His grip tightened slightly, his thumb brushing over your knuckles. And for the first time in what felt like forever, you allowed yourself to exhale.
But the night wasnât over. The game was far from finished.
âââââââ
Chapter 12! Updates might be coming slower as Iâm back in school but weâll see.. lemme know what you think! Thank you! :)
Tag list:
@sunny21200
@lucinda-reads
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êȘà§đČ àčàŁÂ àŁȘ Ëâ· ex!bf!rafe sneaks into your room late at night...
warnings ; MDNI !!, ex!bf!rafe, soft!rafe i guess, oral f. receiving, fingering, unprotected sex, p in v, rafe calls reader baby, creampie, aftercare ! yippee
notes ; phew... enjoyyy !
the cool night air swept through your open balcony door, carrying the distant hum of cicadas. you were curled up in bed, trying to focus on the book in your hands, when the faint scrape of shoes against metal made your heart leap.
"rafe?" you whispered harshly, your pulse quickening as his familiar frame hauled itself over the edge of the balcony.
"donât freak out," he said quickly, holding his hands up as if to calm you. his hair was a mess, his eyes wild, and he looked more desperate than youâd ever seen him.
"are you insane? you canât be here, especially not at this hour," you hissed, glancing nervously at your door.
but rafe wasnât listening. he crossed the room in two long strides, his voice cracking as he said, "i had to see you. i canât- i canât do this without you."
you folded your arms, trying to stand your ground, even as your chest tightened at the raw edge in his tone. "we broke up, rafe. i broke up with you. and you know why. i canât keep pretending it doesnât kill me every time i see you flirting with someone else."
"i wasnât-" he started, but you cut him off with a sharp look.
"donât lie to me. i saw you. over and over again. itâs too much, rafe. i couldnât do it anymore."
his hands raked through his hair, his frustration evident. "it wasnât what you thought, i swear. iâm... iâm a mess without you, okay? iâve been losing my mind since you left. no one else matters- no one but you. iâm obsessed with you, and iâll prove it. iâll do whatever it takes to make it right."
"rafe," you began, your voice softer now, but he stepped closer, his hands gripping yours like his life depended on it.
"itâll never happen again. i swear on everything. just... just give me one more chance," he pleaded, his blue eyes locking onto yours, filled with a vulnerability that made your heart ache.
you tried to resist, tried to remind yourself why you ended things, but the way he looked at you, like you were his entire world, made it nearly impossible.
"i donât know if i can trust you," you said quietly, your voice trembling.
"you can," he said, his voice steady. "iâll spend the rest of my life proving it to you if i have to."
before you could argue further, his lips were on yours, cutting off your words in a kiss so desperate, so full of longing, that it left you breathless. your resolve crumbled as his hands cupped your face, pulling you closer.
the kiss deepened, his lips trailing to your jaw and down your neck as your back hit the bed. he hovered over you, his breath hot against your skin as he murmured your name like a prayer.
your fingers tangled in his hair as his lips travelled down your body, heat pooled in your lower stomach watching him grow closer to the waistband of your tiny pyjama shorts.
he stopped there, slowly littering kisses as he looked up at you, you chewed at your bottom lip as your eyes were stuck on his, "rafe..."
"i'll make you feel good baby... don't worry" he whispered against your skin, sending shivers up your spine. his course fingers connected with your clothed pussy, slowly rubbing circles to make you squirm.
he grinned when he saw you twitch at his touch, your clit aching from the lack of direct contact. as if he could read your body, he pulled your shorts to the side, now faced with soaked panties staring back at him.
rafe sighed gratefully, "you're so soaked already, god you're perfect" he mumbled. his long fingers traced your slit and he chuckled a little to himself before pulling your panties to the side too.
without warning, his mouth connected with your wet cunt, sloppy kisses and flicks of his tongue made your eyes roll back before he slid a finger through your folds again. he tapped at your aching hole before sliding a finger in, watching your face contort as you got used to the welcome intrusion.
you groaned, "god-" rafe's smirk perking up against your heat, he came up for air for a second, "rafe's fine baby.."
you threw your head back as he licked a stripe down your pussy, grinning as he slid another finger inside, curling them before mercilessly pumping them in and out.
one thing leads to another, you're bent over the bed, rafe's cock bulging out of your stomach as his hips snap against your ass. a loud whine escapes your lips as he's rearranging your guts. your tight walls clamping desperately around his cock as your ass bounces with every thrust.
his tip brushes your cervix as he thrusts into you a few more times before pulling out and flipping you over mumbling, "need to see your pretty face.."
he shoves your body further onto the bed before climbing over you with his classic smirk. your breathing ragged as your eyes locked with his, he tapped his cock on your pussy before dragging it through your folds. he knew the teasing drove you crazy, your eyebrows cinched together as his ego grew.
a pornographic moan escaped your lips as he slid in again, rolling his hips against yours he pumped his cock at a heavenly pace. your nails left crescent shaped indents as you gripped on rafe's arms, the pleasure sending the both of you into overdrive.
rafe cursed as his thrusts grew sloppy, the way your gummy walls were squeezing him made him dizzy, his release creeping up on him. you too could feel a familiar coil tightening in your stomach, unsurprised at the discovery that rafe was the only one to be able to make you cum, even when you're technically broken up.
he lifts a hand and connects it with one of your tits, his tongue darting between his lips as he massaged the fat, your nipple between his fingers. you whimpered as his cock kissed your cervix before finally you felt the coil snap, your orgasm overpowering you.
the way your pussy clenched rafe's cock as you finished around him caused him to groan gutturally, spilling his release into your sopping hole. he collapsed on top of you, littering your neck and cheeks with kisses as he heavily breathed.
"fuck.. i love you baby" he said finally before getting up and slowly pulling out, his release leaking from you a little. he grinned at the sight and pumped to fingers into your pussy, pushing his cum back inside you. "i'll get us a wet towel" he mumbled, walking towards your bathroom after kissing you on the forehead.
taglist ; @rafegetinmybed @doeletteprincess ( feel free to ask to be added! idm! )
#ââËworks#ex!bf!rafe#rafe cameron smut#rafe cameron#rafe fic#rafe outer banks#rafe smut#rafe x reader#rafe fanfic#rafe imagine#outerbanks rafe#obx smut#rafe obx#rafe x reader smut#rafe cameron fic#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe cameron outer banks#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron x y/n#rafe cameron x female reader#female reader#fem reader#rafe x fem reader#obx rafe#rafe#obx fanfiction#obx#obx fic#outer banks
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Part 13: If You Stay
Masterlist - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9 - Part 10 - Part 11 - Part 12
And I find it bittersweet (cause you gave me something to lose)
(In which, an all over the place writer, writes an all over the place chapter)
Pairing: Paige Bueckers X Azzi Fudd
Themes: Angst with some Hurt/Comfort and a little bit of Fluff
Words: 13.1K
TW: Swearing, Slightly Suggestive Content, Mentions of Divorce, Drinking
A/N: Hello my lovelies <3 So clearly that 48 to 72 hours deadline completely evaded me but here I am! I've always gotten asks about how many chapters GH will be and normally it's an estimate but I can almost for certain say that after this one, there will be two more chapters. This part is, like I said, a little all over the place as I start to tie in loose ends and bring everything together but it's pretty important as we start our journey to the end. This isn't particularly well-edited because as well know I hate editing but I eventually will go back and edit so any typos/errors you see are much-appreciated. As always, your live reacts give me life, so let me know what you liked, what you didn't and what you'd like to see next. Have a lovely weekend my loves <3
May 2033
Paige wakes up alone to an empty bed. Her eyes open to the feel of her fingers reaching out and finding nothing but the soft material of her crinkled bedsheets. She stares at the empty space, gaze fixated on the way the sunlight hits the exact spot Azzi had been curled up in and lets her mind wander back to yesterday -god everything had been fine just 24 hours ago- when the rays of sunshine coming through the window had cast lines of gold across the brunetteâs face. It wasnât often that Paige woke up before Azzi, but for some reason she had yesterday. Maybe it was the universeâs way of giving her one last chance to memorize an image that sheâs not sure when sheâll be able to see again. Paige traces her hands along the linen, blinking back tears, and she swears she can still feel the heat of Stephie and Azziâs bodies radiating off of it. Itâs unfair, she knows, to expect them to have stayed when itâs the one thing she herself canât commit to doing but still, that awareness does little to dull the ache reverberating through her chest.Â
Sighing to herself, Paige shifts onto her back, turning away from the empty space that almost feels taunting. She gives herself a minute, taking deep breaths to chase away the erraticness in her heartbeat and the moisture in her eyes before finally sitting up and leaning against the headboard. Her eyebrows knit together when she notices the bag in the corner -the pink duffel Azzi had packed for last night- and she almost gasps. It wasnât like Azzi to forget her stuff, even when escaping. And then she hears it, the familiar giggles of a little girl echoing from her kitchen and Paige feels her heart break and fix itself at the same time.Â
Theyâd stayed.Â
Paige flings the covers off of herself, making it from the guest bedroom to the stairs in record time. She almost slips on the fifth step as she races down the stairs, every part of her alight with the need to just see Stephie and Azzi. Her feet skid to a halt before the kitchen doorway and her breath catches in her lungs, hand immediately clutching at her chest as she takes in the scene in front of her. Itâs the three most important people of her life gathered around the kitchen counter. Azziâs flipping pancakes, a soft grin on her face as she listens to Drew and Stephie -both of them already with a stack of pancakes on their respective plates- who are animatedly arguing about whether banana or chocolate chips go better with pancakes.Â
âCome on Uncle Drew,â Stephie drawls, âchoc-chips are the best-est-est-est and ânanas are boooooring.â
âBananas are not boring,â Drew counters, his voice filled with dramatic offense, âyou can mash them in the pancake or eat them on the side or on top of the stack. Bananas are versatile.â
Stephie scrunches her nose and Paige smiles as the little girl gives her brother a pointed look, âI donât know what vers-a-tile means so that doesnât even matter to me.â
Azzi snorts, âI donât think thatâs how that works Stephie-bean.â
âDoes too,â Stephie pouts and then juts her fork out at Drew, âhere Uncle Drew, try it and youâll see choc-chips are so much better than that,â she looks disdainfully at the young manâs plate.Â
Drew dutifully accepts the bite of food, chewing it at an exaggeratedly slow pace as he pretends to contemplate how he feels about it.Â
âI mean itâs not bad,â he says finally, before a smirk breaks out on his lips, âbut bananaâs clear.â
âNah, I donât know about that,â Paige says, finally making her presence known as she walks over to Stephieâs side, âYouâre both wrong. Blueberries are better with pancakes than both bananas and chocolate chips,â she reaches out to ruffle Stephieâs hair, smile faltering when the little girl dodges her hand, âSteph-â
âMama,â gone is the happy child that had been casually bantering with Drew; Stephieâs face is ashen with the remnants of her emotions from last night as shift herself as far away from Paige as possible, âI wanna go home.â
Her words feel like a sword, pricking against the bubble of delusion Paige had created mere seconds ago; the wishful thought that maybe they could ignore what had happened last night, that they could just close the lid on the jar of darkness theyâd opened and pretend the obsidian hadnât slipped out, clouding the paradise theyâd built before. And maybe thatâs Paigeâs problem. Avoidance. Sheâd pushed herself towards Stephie and Azzi, acting like there wasnât a harness -bound together with the ropes of all the grievances, all the fears, that the past had left in her- and now she was stuck, so close to reaching them but unable to finally get there.Â
Azziâs eyes flicker conflictedly between Paigeâs ashen face and Stephieâs stormy one, her teeth gnawing at her bottom lip, âyouâve still got some more left on your plate Stephie-bean,â
âI donât want the rest,â Stephie says adamantly, pushing the plate away from her, âIâm not hungry anymore.â
âStephie we donât waste food,â Azzi says it like itâs a reprimand but Paige knows itâs for her sake, to give her more time with Stephie, and a mix of guilt and gratefulness pools in her stomach as fights the urge to pull the younger woman into her arms and kiss away the stress lines that have formed on her forehead in the last 24 hours.Â
âThen pack it and we can take it home,â Stephie slides off the counter, tiny arms crossing over her chest as she looks at her mother with pleading eyes, âplease Mama, I donât wanna be here anymore.â
âStephie-â Paige tries to say, reaching out once again for the little girl.Â
âExcuse me Coach Bueckers,â Stephie sidesteps the older woman, her voice far colder than a little girlâs voice should -far colder than anything sheâs ever used with her Miss Buecks- and it feels like shards of ice prodding against Paigeâs heart.Â
âStephie please-â
The little girl refuses to meet her gaze but Paige notices the way her eyes glance towards her for the briefest moment, like she wants nothing more than to turn around and fling herself at the older woman. But the look is gone as quick as it came and Stephieâs face hardens -and Paige hates herself for being the reason why- as she looks at her mother.Â
âPlease can we go home now Mama?âÂ
Azzi sighs, âyeah bean, we can go home. Unless-â she hesitates, eyes locking with Paigeâs, âunless- maybe Miss Buecks has a reason we should stay?â
And Paige knows this is Azzi giving her one last chance, one last opportunity to say the right things, to keep Stephie and Azzi with her. Itâs why she hadnât left this morning; sheâd been waiting to see if Paige was ready. And all Paige has to do is open her mouth and make the promises that she couldnât last night; shut the door on her escape plan -to New York and the Liberty- and she can open the one that leads to her perfect dream; that leads to a forever with Stephie and Azzi. But thatâs the thing; what if forever doesnât last? After all, the last time sheâd trusted in it -trusted the same woman in front of her to be hers always- forever had turned out to be a myth. But Paige isnât ready. And so she averts Azziâs gaze, keeps her mouth shut and looks away before she can see the hope disappear from the brunetteâs face.Â
âRight,â Azzi swallows, âalright then uh -youâre right Stephie- we should- we should go home. You go wash your face and uh- Mamaâs gonna go grab our stuff and then- then we can go.â
The last words make an indiscernible noise creak out of Paigeâs lips as she watches Stephie make her way towards the bathroom. Azzi carefully flips the final pancake onto a plate -one with a stack of blueberry pancakes- before turning the stove off and beelining for the stairs towards the guest room. But Paige is quicker, curling her fingers around the younger womanâs wrist to keep her in place.Â
âAz,â she breathes out, unsure what to say- unsure what she even wants to say.
Azzi doesnât look at her, âI ordered groceries.â
âWhat?â
âYou didnât have any food and I- I wanted to make pancakes,â Azzi explains, âbut uh- I got more than just pancake stuff. Thereâs eggs and milk and that stupid cereal that you like and just- just basic groceries you know. And I know you donât like veggies but I had to get some because theyâre good for you Paige okay but donât- donât worry- I balanced it out with all those ridiculously unhealthy snacks you like.â
âAzzi,â Paigeâs voice cracks, âyou didnât have to-â
âI did,â Azzi cuts her off, âyou just- you canât live off of fucking takeout okay,â a lone tear slides down her cheek, âand I got- I got enough groceries to last you two weeks but you- youâll have to get more eventually if-â she stops herself but they both know where that sentences was going.Â
If youâre gonna live here- if youâre gonna live by yourself.Â
âI just-â Paige struggles to get the words out, âI need some more time.â
âI know,â Azzi finally looks at her and for a second Paige almost wishes she hadnât because the hurt -the please just say youâll stay- swimming in the younger womanâs eyes is almost too much to bear, âI know you need time and you- you can have it,â she brushes her thumb against Paigeâs waterline, âbut you canât have both. You canât have time and us.â
Why not, Paige wants to scream, wants to stomp her feet like a petulant toddler but she knows Azziâs right, knows that they have to be apart until she figures it out. And so she nods at the brunetteâs words as Azzi gently caresses her cheek -fingers lingering just a little longer than they should- before she rushes upstairs to grab her and Stephieâs overnight bag.Â
Paige watches her go before she disappears out of sight, and the blonde falls back against the counter. Closing her eyes as she takes in a couple of deep breaths, she swears the air has never felt more acidic. She can feel Drew looking at her; can almost see the contemplative -maybe even concerned- look in his eyes without opening her own.Â
âWhat?â she bites out, harsher than intended.Â
âNothing,â Drew hesitates, âI just- I didnât think Azzi would have stayed last night.â
Paige shrugs, eyes still closed, âI asked her to.â
âI figured but I- I guess I didnât expect her to agree,â Drew says quietly.Â
Thereâs an undercurrent to her brotherâs tone that has Paige finally opening her eyes, fixing him with a stern gaze, âwhat exactly are you trying to say Drew?â
âNothing,â Drew repeats but the nervous shuffle of his feet say something entirely different.Â
âDrew.â
âShe stayed Paige,â his voice breaks unexpectedly, âlast night, this morning, she- she stayed.â
Thereâs a beat of silence as Paige stares at her brothers, absorbing his words when the unexpected flash of anger hits, âseriously?â
âWhat?â Drewâs taken aback by the fire in his sister's eyes.Â
âWhat do you mean what? One fucking stack of pancakes and suddenly all that shit you said to me last night- you donât believe it anymore? All of thatâs forgotten now?â
âThatâs not-â
âJesus fucking christ Drew,â Paige pinches the bridge of her nose and sheâs fully aware her anger is misdirected -that itâs herself, sheâs mad at- but she continues ranting at her brother anyways, âyou made me overthink everything Drew. I was doing fine, we were doing fine and then- then you said all of that shit last night, reminded me of everything and now here we are the next morning and what? Youâre not mad at Azzi anymore? She stays one fucking night and all is forgiven? Youâve changed your whole fucking mind-â
âYou canât blame me-â Drew begins to cut her off loudly but then thereâs another voice -soft and small- interrupting both of them as they turn to see Stephie staring at them, her expression almost fearful at the sound of them arguing. And Paige hates herself a little bit for putting all these new expressions on the little girlâs face; she misses when she used to be the reason for her smile.Â
âThatâs- thatâs two bad words Miss-â Stephie stops herself, swallowing away the familiar name, âI mean- Coach Bueckers.â
âSorry Stephie,â Paige whispers, pausing slightly before she takes a nervous step towards the girl, âso does that- does that mean I owe you two kisses?â
Stephieâs face wobbles, her bottom lip trembling as she nods slowly, âyeah you do.â
Paige breathes shakily as she kneels down in front of the little girl, eyes drinking in the sight of having her this close -like they know they might not get this moment again- as she slowly pulls her into her arms. Stephie is warm and soft and familiar and Paige wishes she would never have to let the little girl go. She squeezes her to her chest as she delicately places her lips against Stephies left cheek.Â
âIâm sorry sweetheart,â she whispers against the little girlâs soft skin, hoping the child knows it isnât just for the swearing before she presses another fluttering kiss against Stephieâs right cheek, âIâm so sorry.â
And then, just as Stephieâs about to pull out of her grasp, Paige stops her, pressing her lips to the little girlâs forehead. When she pulls back, Stephieâs staring at her with a confused look on her face.Â
âYou only owed me two,â she says matter-of-factly, âwhat was the last one for?â
Paige gives the little girl a sad smile as she brushes away a strand of curly hair that had gotten loose from her ponytail, âjust because youâre my Stephie-bean.â
Stephie stares at her and Paige can see a myriad of emotions flicker behind her tiny eyes. She opens her mouth, like sheâs about to say something and Paigeâs heart thumps in anticipation, but then the sound of Azziâs footsteps coming down echoes from the stairs and Stephie pushes away from her. And suddenly, Paige feels empty, like the most vital parts of her are missing.Â
âYou ready to go Stephie-bean?â Azzi asks, mustering on a brave voice for her daughter but Paige can hear the way itâs cracking, can tell from her red-rimmed eyes that sheâd taken a little longer than necessary upstairs to fix herself.Â
âYeah Mama,â Stephie takes her motherâs outstretched hand, âletâs go home.â
The walk through the foyer and outside towards Azzi car feels like it takes hours. Drew doesnât come all the way, stopping at the front door and giving Stephie a quick high-five that draws a brief smile from the little girl. He doesnât say anything to Azzi but thereâs an underlying softness in the way he tips his head towards her as they nod at each other. And then itâs just the three of them and Paige swears theyâre all walking just a little bit slower than they normally do, like theyâre trying to savor this moment just a little longer and prolong the inevitable.Â
She leans against the side of the car as Azzi buckles Stephie into her carseat. The little girl keeps on her brave face, avoiding eye contact with both Paige and her mother as she focuses firmly in front of her. When Azzi closes the backdoor, Stephieâs face disappearing behind the tinted windows, Paige wants to scream. Everything in her feels like itâs burning and freezing at the same time.Â
Azzi hesitates as sheâs about to get into the driverâs seat, biting her lip as she turns back towards Paige.Â
âYou should know that I - that Stephie and I- we-â she pauses, like sheâs scared to say the rest of it, âwe want you- we want you forever Paige,â both of them suck in a deep breath as the confession looms in the air above them, âand I know you need time and you should take it,â Azzi says softly, her hand reaching almost halfway to caress Paigeâs cheek before falling forlornly back to her sides, âbut we canât- we wonât wait forever.â
***Â
August 2031Â
Paige is normally a big fan of All-Star weekend; she relishes the chaos of the weekend, getting the opportunity to connect with her fellow peers in a way that wasnât possible during the rest of the season and just didnât quite happen at this level outside of it. But sheâs definitely not a fan of it this year, considering itâs being held in her teamâs city, in Dallas. Six years later and still, something about this city doesnât quite feel right, doesnât feel quite like a place she can call home.Â
But still, at least it had given her the chance to not have to be in her apartment this weekend. Unlike her teammates who were more than comfortable staying in their respective homes, Paige had taken up the WNBAâs offer to stay where the rest of the non-Wings players were staying. Itâs ironic that the sterile walls of an unfamiliar hotel somehow feel more comforting than a home thatâs supposed to be hers. Except, the apartment -the one sheâd moved into after the divorce after giving Oliva their house in an act of goodwill- feels cold and empty and Paige has done little to rectify it. She pretends itâs because sheâs too busy, that sheâll get to hanging up the picture frames and decorating the walls eventually. But thereâs a part of her that knows sheâs likely just stalling the inevitable, that the apartment is as temporary as it gets until she finally lets herself make the decision to to leave Dallas.Â
The quiet ding of the elevator opening has Paige sighing as she shakes her mind of that daunting thought. Itâs why sheâd rushed out of her room in the first place, not wanting to be trapped with herself for longer than necessary. The silence has become her worst enemy, enhancing the loneliness that sheâs felt ever since the divorce- maybe even longer.Â
Divorce.Â
God she hates that word, has hated it since her parents had sat her down and said they were getting one. Sheâd always told herself she wouldnât become another divorce statistic like them but clearly history liked repeating itself. And the worst part of it, Paige thinks, is that she doesnât regret the divorce -thinks it might be one of the only right decisions sheâs made in the last six years- but maybe she regrets that marriage, regrets selling Olivia a dream, sheâd subconsciously always known she wouldnât be able to fulfill.Â
Thinking of Olivia makes Paige feel awful. She hadnât done anything outrightly wrong to the other woman, never raised her voice or said anything untoward and sheâd definitely never cheated. Well, not physically at least. But sheâd gotten married to the reporter for all the wrong reasons, trying to fit a puzzle piece that had all the wrong edges into the jigsaw of her life even though sheâd known the empty space in her heart could only be filled by one person. For her part, Olivia had been just as good at pretending as Paige was, acting like she couldnât see the cracks in their relationship or the water that was seeping in through them.Â
And then something shifted -maybe the water had finally gone over their head- and just like sheâd been the one to bring up the idea of getting married, Olivia was the one who had filed for divorce. And Paige thinks maybe the worst thing she ever did to Olivia, is the way she didnât fight it once. She remembers the hesitation in her ex-wifeâs eyes, remembers the slight pleading look on her face as if she wanted Paige to at least resist it a little bit. But she hadnât; sheâd simply nodded and signed. That was the end of the Olivia, Paige knew and from then on the sweet, bubbly, slightly over-enthusiastic reporter whoâd stumbled over her question at Paigeâs first media availability transformed into a cold ex-wife who could keep up a charade of cordiality for appearances, but never refrained from a cutting jab here and there.Â
The elevator dings open and Paige steps into the lobby, straightening her hoodie a little bit as she scans the area for familiar faces. Finding no one sheâs particularly interested in talking to, sheâd just about to head to the bar when her eyes land on a little girl nervously bouncing on her feet next to a vase of flowers thatâs almost double her height. She canât be older than three years old and Paige can tell from the way her bottom lip is trembling, that the young child is doing her absolute best to hold in tears. Something constricts in her heart -something almost more than just empathy for the little girl- as Paige makes her way over.Â
Gently, trying not to scare the girl, Paige kneels in front of her, âhey sweetheart.â
When the little girl turns to look at her, familiar dark brown doey eyes filled with unshed tears, her breath hitches in her throat and Paige suddenly realizes why sheâd felt that tug in her heart. This is Azziâs kid.Â
âH-hi,â the little girl manages to splutter, playing with her fingers as she regards Paige with a way expression, clearly trying to discern whether sheâs safe or not.Â
âHey,â Paige repeats, smiling reassuringly, âyou okay?â
The little girl nods slowly but there must something about the warmth in Paigeâs smile that she pauses, rebellious teardrops running down her face as she goes from nodding to shaking her head.Â
âI-I-I-I- lost,â she wails.Â
âOh sweetheart itâs okay,â Paige tries to say, hands instinctively reaching out to run up and down the little girlâs shoulders.Â
âI was- I was âposed to be with Aunty J but she- she was talking and I saw pu-ple flow-es,â she points to the vase through her tears, âso I came to see but then- but then- I look back and Aunty J no there anymore and I want- I want my Mama,â she heaves, fully sobbing now, âI want my Mama.â
âItâs okay sweetheart, shhh,â Paige comforts the little girl as she stands back up, lacing her own fingers through her tinier ones, âhow about we go and try to find your Mama?â
Sheâs about to turn around when feels a tug on her hand and when she looks down, the young child is shaking her head, adamantly planting her feet firmly on the floor.Â
âWe canât go,â she says firmly, âMama says if I get lost, I stay where I am and Mama will find me. And-,â she hesitates as she looks Paige up and down, âMama says I donât go anywhere with a st-anger.â
It shouldnât sting -because thatâs what Paige is, a stranger- but itâs an unsettling reminder that this is a world like nothing sheâd ever imagined when she was younger, a world where Azziâs daughter doesnât know her.Â
âSo we canât go. We have to stay here and Mama will find me,â the little girl says again and despite the tears still swimming in her eyes, thereâs complete confidence -trust- in her voice that her mother -that Azzi- will find her.Â
âOkay,â Paige agrees softly, âbut is it okay if I wait with you?â
Azziâs daughter looks at her with a contemplative look for a couple of seconds before a bright grin explodes on her face and Paige thinks it feels a little bit like a ray of sunshine bombarding into her otherwise cloudy world.Â
âOkay,â the little girl grins happily before holding out a tiny hand, âIâm Stephanie Katarina Fudd.â
Paige laughs at the formality as she shakes Stephanieâs hand, âIâm Paige Madison Bueckers.â
âNice to meet you Miss Buecks,â Stephanie chirps as smiles up at the woman.Â
âItâs Bueckers,â Paige tries to correct as Stephanie scrunches up her nose.Â
âThatâs what I said,â she says with a confused look on her face, âMiss Buecks.â
Paige opens her mouth to try and correct her again but stops, deciding sheâs not about to argue with the little girl and that she quite likes the incorrect way Stephanie says her name. Instead she lets herself fall to the ground, leaning against the pillar as she stretches out her legs in front of her. Stephanie raises an eyebrow at the actions but eventually sits down next to her and Paige smiles. They sit in silence for a bit as Paige reaches for her phone, considering texting Azzi for a brief second before she eventually decides to text Jana -who she thinks might just be Stephanieâs Aunty J- instead to let Azzi know Stephanie was with her.Â
âI know you,â Stephanie says suddenly and Paige looks away from the phone to see the little girlâs eyes wide with recognition.Â
âI thought you said I was a stranger,â Paige cocks a teasing eyebrow.Â
âYou are,â Stephanie says matter-of-factly, âbut I seen you at Mamaâs game sometimes.â
âIâve seen you too,â Paige admits.Â
âYouâre good at bask-ball,â Stephanie states and the thing is, Paige has heard and read so many people say sheâs great at basketball but thereâs something about the way Stephanie says it -something about the genuine innocence of it- that makes her beam with pride.Â
âI guess I am,â she bumps Stephanieâs shoulder as she winks at her.Â
âI love bask-ball,â Stephanieeâs eyes gleam as she says it and Paige knows that expression -knows that slight look of madness thatâs just the beginning of falling in love with a sport.Â
âYeah?â she asks casually, âyou play ball?â
Stephanie nods enthusiastically, âMama got me a hoop for Ch-istmas -just like the one she had when she littler- and she p-omised that when Iâm bigger, sheâs gonna lemme go bask-ball camp.â
Itâs hard not to grin along with Stephanieâs ranting, especially not when her determination to play basketball -one that reminds Paige a lot of herself- shines through her words.Â
âYou any good,â Paige teases, biting back a laugh when the little girlâs face contorts in offense, like she canât even believe someone would have the audacity to question her basketball skills.Â
âOf course I am. Iâm Azzi Fuddâs daughter,â Stephanie says proudly, blissfully unaware of the way Paige's smile wobbles for a second at the statement, âbut Mama says one day, Iâmma be even gooder than her.â
âCan I get your autograph now then?âÂ
Stephanie scrunches her nose, âwhatâs an au-to-gra-ph?â
âWait,â Paige stands up, on a mission to find a pen, but Stephanie immediately grabs her hand.Â
The little girlâs eyes are wide with anxiety as she looks up at Paige, âno Miss Buecks donât leave me.â
âOh sweetheart Iâm not,â Paige crouches back down in front of Stephanie, thumbs reaching out to rub the little girlâs cheeks in reassurance, âIâm gonna go right there to get something,â she points to the the reception desk, âIâll be back in one minutes. I swear.â
âPinky p-omise?â Stephanie raises her pinky and Paige diligently intertwines her own around it.Â
âPinky promise,â she says, before practically skipping over to where sheâd spotted a cup-holder full of pens. She can feel Stephanieâs anxious eyes piercing into the back of her head and if possible, the smile sheâs had on her face since meeting the little girl, somehow deepens. Itâs dangerous, she knows, becoming so enamored with Azziâs daughter but her heart has always moved faster than her head, and Paige still hasnât quite figured out how to stop that.Â
âYouâre back,â Stephanie claps happily when Paige comes back to her and the blonde beams at the affection in her voice.Â
âTold you I would be,â Paige grins as she plops back down next to the little girl, holding out the pen sheâd found.Â
âWhy you get pen?â Stephanie asks, staring at it like itâs a foreign object.Â
âBecause you need a pen to give me your autograph,â Paige explains, âan autograph is when someone famous signs their name on something for someone,â she holds out her arm that is currently covered by a grey hoodie, âwill you sign my hoodie?â
âSilly Miss Buecks,â Stephanie chides, âYou and Mama are famous. Iâm not famous.â
âNot yet. But if youâre as good at basketball as you say you are, then one day, Stephanie Katarina Fudd, you are gonna be so famous. Just like me and your Mama,â Paige taps the little girlâs nose, releasing the giggle it elicits from her and she thinks it might be her new favorite sound, âand I wanna be the first person who gets your autograph.â
âCan I get yours too?â Stephanie asks, her tone a little shy and Paige thinks that forget an autograph, sheâd give her the world if sheâd asked for it.Â
âOf course you can bean,â the nickname slips out before she can catch it and Paigeâs mind travels back to her wedding day, back to the phone-call with Azzi.Â
âMama calls me bean too,â Stephanie says, as she begins to messily try and write her name on the sleeve of Paigeâs hoodie, âshe calls me Stephie-bean.â
As if on cue, Azziâs voice fills the air, tinged with a slight bit of panic and Paige feels her heart catch in her throat. Six years theyâve been apart, something always thrums in her every time she feels Azziâs presence near her. But it feels almost electric this time. The memories of the last time theyâd seen each other, the night theyâd spent together after this yearâs National Championship game linger in the air and Paige shivers like she can still feels the softness of Azziâs skin underneath her fingertips; can still hear the breathlessness of her moans in her hears.Â
âStephie-bean,â Azzi calls out and Stephanieâs eyes dart towards her motherâs voice as she immediately stands up, little feet tripping over each other as she rushes to get to the younger woman.Â
âMAMA,â Stephanie yells, flinging herself into her motherâs arms and Paige watches as Azzi cradles the little girl to her chest, kissing all over her face. Something pangs in her chest, and she wishes she were a part of that embrace too. And if all the dreams theyâd dreamt together when they were younger had come true, she wouldâve been.
âStephie what have I said about running off,â Azzi scolds as she coaxes the little girl's face out of her neck.Â
âI din-t run off,â Stephanie defends petulantly, âI go to look at pu-ple flow-es cause they looked so pretty but then when I turned around, Aunty J gone,â her face wobbles at the memory, âI was so scay-ed Mama cause I lost and âlone but then,â her voice changes immediately as she turns around to point at Paige, who freezes when Azziâs gaze lands on her, âMiss Buecks find me!â
âMiss Buecks,â Azzi repeats dazedly as Stephanie begins to pull her towards Paige, unaware of the anxious tension between the two adults.Â
âThis is Miss Buecks,â Stephahnie introduces the two of them, âshe find me and she tolâ me she help me find you but I say that Stephie canât move cause Stephie have to stay right here cause Mama says if Stephie lost, Stephie donât move,â the little girl says animatedly and both adults laugh at the random switch to third-person, âbut Miss Buckes say sheâll stay with me and so I not âcare anymore cause I have Miss Buecks,â she says casually, naive to the way it makes both Paige and Azzi swallows, âand look Mama,â she eagerly grabs Paigeâs sleeve, âI give Miss Buecks my auto-gaph.â
âThatâs, thatâs lovely sweetheart,â Azzi says softly before she turns to Paige -and Paige wonders if itâll ever stop, if the way her stomach swoons every time the brunette looks at her will ever go away-, âthank you for texting Jana and thank you- thank you for staying with her.â
Paige shrugs as casually as she can, âdonât gotta thank me,â she nudges Stephanie, âwe had a great time together didnât we Stephanie?âÂ
The little girl nods enthusiastically, âthe great-est-est-est time,â she exclaims to her mother, âMiss Buecks is so cool.â
âThanks Stephie-â Paige hesitates, unsure if she has the right to use the nickname, âStephanie. Youâre really cool too.â
Stephanie practically glows at the compliment, âMama, Miss Buecks thinks Iâm cool and- and- and- she say that Iâm gonna be famous one day. Thatâs why she wanted my auto-gaph. Cause Iâmma be a big bask-ball star just like you two.â
Azzi ruffles the little girlâs hair before looking at Paige with an indiscernible expression, âjust like us huh?â
âMaybe even better,â Paige says softly.Â
âI guess weâll find out,â Azzi grins before leaning down to pick her daughter up -the sight of it invoking something warm and fuzzy in Paigeâs stomach- âalright Stephie-bean, say bye to Miss Buecks. We gotta go get ready the orange carpet and I gotta go yell at your Aunty J for losing you again,â she winks at Paige who lets out a laugh.Â
And she hasnât laughed like this -laughed as much as she has in these last few minutes with Stephanie- in so long that sheâd almost forgotten what it sounded like.Â
âBye Miss Buecks,â Stephanie waves over her motherâs shoulder.Â
âBye Stephanie,â Paige waves before hesitating for a second, and then she calls out, âhey Azzi?â
Azzi turns around slightly, humming in response, âwhatâs up?â
âI like that you call her Stephie-bean,â Paige admits nervously, hoping Azzi will understand what she means and by the way the brunetteâs eyes soften, itâs clear she does.Â
âIt just felt right,â Azzi says softly; her mouth opens like she wants to say more -something more than what their current colleague-esque relationship allows for- but in the end, she settles on something far more mundane, âsee you around Bueckers.â
âSee ya,â Paige whispers back and if she stands completely still, watching Stephanie and Azzi walking all the way until they turn a corner and she canât see them anymore, well thatâs nobodyâs business but her own.Â
Thatâs the first night Paige lets herself wonder about the possibilities of becoming a Golden State Valkyrie.Â
***
June 2033Â
Dream 64Â Â Â Valkyries 87
Paige has never had particularly strong feelings towards the Atlanta Dream. They werenât a particularly bad team, nor were they a particularly great team and Paige had simply never had an experience with them -whether it was a fan of the league or as a player in it- that was worth remembering for her to feel anything towards them. But tonight, tonight Paige fucking hates the Atlanta Dream.Â
Okay maybe she doesnât hate the team.Â
She hates a certain player, a certain #11 wearing French player whoâd had the audacity to hold her Stephie, to wrap her arms around her Azzi. Paige had spent the first couple of minutes of warm-ups with a deep scowl on her face as sheâd watched ClĂ©mence interact with her girls. Sheâd hated the way Stephie grinned at the French woman, hated the way Azzi had laughed at something sheâd said. But most of all Paige hated that she hadnât been able to do any of that -hadnât been on the receiving end of Stephieâs giggles or Azziâs warm smile- for almost three weeks now. God she missed them so fucking much.Â
It was until Jana had tapped her on the back -a knowing look in her teammateâs eyes- that Paige had finally turned away from the scene. Sheâd channeled all her anger and frustration into the game, playing as the most aggressive version of herself. And it had paid off in the form of a 31 points, 7 assists, 4 rebounds and 3 stocks game, another statline cementing her position in the rather early race for MVP. But all of that feels futile now as Paige -signing autographs before she had to head off to media- notices Stephie go racing back into ClĂ©menceâs arms, the little girlâs face bright with happiness as the French woman catches her and twirls her around. From the corner of her eyes, she notices Azzi walking towards the two of them and Paige normally loves Azziâs smile -thinkâs itâs nothing short of being the prettiest sight in the world- but she thinks she might hate it a little bit right now when itâs directed at ClĂ©mence.Â
âAunty ChĂ©rie,â Stephieâs squeals echo clearly in Paigeâs ears, despite the noise of the crowd surround her, âyou played so good today.â
âMerci ma chĂ©rie,â ClĂ©mence's voice is saccharine sweet, âIâm very happy to see you. I have missed you lots. I was thinking,â Paige continues to sign another jersey but her ears are fully tuned into the conversation happening a couple meters away as ClĂ©menceâs attention turns towards Azzi, âwe are leaving tomorrow morning so I have some time tonight. So I was thinking maybe I could take you and Stephie out to dinner tonight? Unless-â Paige feels both Clemenceâs and Azziâs eyes flicker to herself and she tries to keep her focus on the fans in front of her, âunless perhaps you are going with someone else?â
Paige waits with bated breath for Azziâs answer, wishing her telepathic plea for the brunette say no, could somehow reach her but itâs Stephie who answers first.Â
âMama please can we go,â the little girl begs immediately -her tone one that Paige knows to be the one she uses when sheâs trying to get her mother to agree, âplease, please, please. We havenât gotten dinner with Aunty ChĂ©rie in so long.â
âStephie-â thereâs hesitation in Azziâs voice but Paige knows that sheâs likely to cave into her daughterâs wishes -after all Stephie isnât asking for anything ridiculous- and she knows she has to get away, not wanting to hear anymore about ClĂ©menceâs stupid fucking dinner plans.Â
Giving the fans in front of her a tight-lipped smile, Paige slowly backs away from them, eyes searching for Joyce -her companion to face the press tonight- as she heads towards the media-room. Sheâs so focused on looking for her teammate or perhaps sheâs too in her head but she doesnât spot the assistant carrying water bottles coming. The two of them collide with a large crash that rings around Chase Center as the bottles go flying across the court. Paigeâs cheeks turn a deep shade of pink as she feels the eyes of everyone on her -none more piercing than Azziâs- but she doesnât dare turn around. Instead she shoots the assistant an apologetic look, gathering as many water bottles as in front of her, before sheâs bolting to the press room, wondering what the fuck she's done for the universe to keep testing her like this.
***Â
Paige is the last person left in the locker room. By the time she and Joyce had returned from the press conference, most of the team had fizzled out. And so sheâd taken her time -ignoring the weird look Joyce gave her considering normally they were all eager to get home- showering and getting changed. Sheâd come out of the shower to a desolate locker room and as sheâd sat on the bench, drying her damp hair, sheâd let herself succumb to all the thoughts sheâd been suppressing.Â
Itâs somehow worse this time; it hurts more in a way that Paige hadnât known was possible. They hadnât been together nearly as long as they were back then and their relationship was barely defined. But at least last time, Paige had been able to run to another side of the country where she wasnât constantly reminded of her ex. Azzi isnât even technically an ex this time, but thereâs no avoiding her. Not when theyâre on the same team, not when sheâs a coach at her daughterâs camp. And Paige doesnât quite know whatâs harder, trying to find oxygen in an air devoid of Azzi and Stephieâs presence, or trying to breathe when theyâre near her.
Perhaps thatâs why itâs so different. Paige has lost Azzi before and even if that doesnât make the hurt any less, at least she has a blueprint for how to cope with it. But she doesnât know how to deal with losing Stephie, doesnât know how to not miss the little girlâs smile and her big doey eyes and the way sheâd used to wrap her arms around Paige like she was trying to bind them together forever.Â
But more than anything, more than missing Azzi or Stephie, Paige misses the three of them together. She misses Azziâs exasperated look when she and Stephie would indulge in some sort of ridiculous drama. She misses the little girlâs mischievous look before sheâd launch herself into both of their arms. She misses her own soft smile as sheâd watch the two of them engage in the most mundane things. She misses the peaceful silence as theyâd eat together and the noisy chaos when theyâd argue over what movie to watch afterwards. She misses everything.Â
And the worst part is that she knows she wouldnât be missing any of it, if it wasnât for the barriers sheâs put up herself. This is a cage of Paigeâs own making and the key to open the lock rests in her own hands. She just needs to be brave enough to use it. Azzi words run amok in her head, the reassurance that Paige could have time clouded by the reluctant warning that eventually that time would run out.Â
âHey,â she snaps herself out of her thoughts to see Azzi cautiously entering the locker room, her playing jersey swapped from a casual green top and cargo pants.Â
Paige swallows, âhi.â
âI uh- I was um-â Azziâs eyes nervously dart around the room as she strides over to her locker, picking up the pink lipgloss -one Paige has the taste of memorized- thatâs sitting on the bench under it, âI forgot this so I uh- I came back to grab it.â
âCool,â Paige replies monotonously but her headâs already racing with thoughts of will you let her kiss it off of you the way you let me? And she knows -she trusts- that Azzi wonât but even the possibility of it lights a small fire within her.Â
Azzi chews on her lips as she nods, before starting to walk towards the door but she stops last second, turning around with the starts of a smile on her lips, âyou were amazing tonight P. I mean you have been since the season started but tonight especially, you were just- you were you. You were awesome.â
Paige absorbs the compliments, tries to use it to douse the simmering jealousy thatâs flaming up within her at the knowledge that once Azzi leaves this locker room, sheâs likely going with ClĂ©mence.Â
âThanks,â the blonde manages to get out and itâs a little short and rather icy but Paige thinks itâs probably better than saying all the other things that are on the tip of her tongue.Â
Azziâs face dims at the curt reply, smile faltering as she nods, âanytime, P.â
That should be it. Paige should let her go, should be content with this small interaction thatâs the most sheâs gotten from outside of practice in weeks. But then the bitter words are waterfalling from her lips faster than she can stop them and despite the regret she feels immediately after, thereâs a part of her thatâs relieved when it makes Azzi come to a halt right in front of the door.Â
âYour girl played well too,â she bites out, the acidic words burning her tongue.Â
Azzi doesnât turn around but Paige notices the way her shoulders go rigid, âdonât do this Paige. You know sheâs not my girl.â
Paige ignores her, â11 points, 2 rebounds, 1 assist. Not bad numbers. Decent. But not better than yours of course.â
âPaige,â there's a warning note in Azziâs voice, like she knows exactly where Paige is going with this.
âIâm just saying, â Paige shrugs with a casualness thatâs in stark contrast to the tension lingering in the air, âsheâs a decent player. But youâd never be in her shadow. Never be known as just her anything.â
Azzi turns around slowly and Paige feels her anger dissipate as quickly as it had erupted when she takes in the way the brunetteâs eyes are brimming with tears.Â
âSeriously?â Azzi grits out, âyouâre seriously gonna throw that in my face right now?â
âIâm not throwing anything in your face. Iâm stating a fact-â
âOh bullshit-â
âItâs not bullshit,â Paige yells before she sucks in a sharp breath, closing her eyes to calm herself down before she continues, âitâs not bullshit,â she repeats, âit is a fact and that fact is the reason why weâre here right now.â
âWhat do you mean?â Azzi crosses her arms across her body.Â
âNine years ago you said no-â
âOh my god,â Azzi says exasperatedly, âwe canât keep going over this again.â
âWe have to Azzi,â Paige cuts her off, âwe have to because you said no. And you broke my heart and you broke my trust. And thatâs why weâre here right now. Thatâs why I made the deal with the Liberty and thatâs why I canât let of my escape plan and thatâs why I canât promise to stay and thatâs why we have to keep going over it. Because Iâm trying, âher voice cracks as the first tear slides down, âgod Azzi- Iâm trying so fucking hard baby but how do I know you wonât say no me -to us- again?â
Azzi stares at her with an undecipherable expression, her fists clenching and unclenching by her sides. It feels like an eternity passes in between them as they look at each other, breathing heavily almost in sync, until the brunette finally speaks.Â
âWell how do I know you wonât leave again?â
Paige blinks in confusion, âexcuse me?â
âYou keep accusing me of all of these things Paige but youâre the one that keeps leaving,â Azzi says and they both know she isnât just talking about nine years ago, âI know- I know I made a mistake. But when I said no all I asked for was a little bit of time. Thatâs all I asked for Paige. Time. Just like youâre asking for right now. And I know- I know we said a whole lot of shit that night -I said a bunch of fucking things I shouldnât have- but- god Paige you didnât even give it a day. I came to find you less than 24 hours later and you were gone,â she chokes on the last word and Paige wants nothing more than to cradle the younger woman in her arms, take away her pain and shield her from ever feeling anything like it again.Â
âAz-â
âAnd if youâd just waited -just given me a little bit of time,â Azzi continues as if she hadnât even heard the blonde attempt to speak, âthen maybe you would have known that I wasnât saying no forever. Just for a little bit, just for then. But you just- you left.â
âYou said a lot more than just no,â Paige says frustratedly.Â
Itâs Azziâs turn to look guilty and Paige can almost see the memories of that night flashing in her mind, âI know that but I wouldâve taken it all back if youâd just waited.â
âHow could I have known that?â Paige whispers and sheâs not sure if sheâs defending herself from Azzi or from that voice in her head -the one sheâd done her best to silence- thatâs always wondered if sheâd made a mistake immediately leaving for Dallas the morning after.Â
âYou couldnât have,â Azzi says softly, sounding almost defeated, âthe same way that you donât know that I wonât say no again. The same way that I donât know if youâll leave again,â she sighs as she sits down next to Paige, âbut thatâs life Paige. We donât know whatâs gonna happen in the future and we canât- we canât predict what someone else will do. All we can do is try and trust ourselves and trust each other.â
âYou make it sound so easy,â Paige nudges her shoulder and Azzi lets out a short laugh.Â
âI know itâs not. Trust me, I know itâs hard. Thereâs about five hundred different voices in my head saying that I should stop waiting or whatever it is Iâm doing right now. That I should let you go for good. That even if you end this whole Liberty bullshit, youâll still leave me -leave us- eventually.â
âBut?â Paige presses and she feels like sheâs teetering on the edge of a cliff, like the next words out of Azziâs mouth will determine whether she falls or flies.Â
âBut,â Azzi breathes out as she turns to look at Paige with a slightly wistful smile, âthereâs this one voice in my head, clearer than all the rest that says I should trust you -that I should believe in us- that maybe we just need to get through this one last hurdle to get back to each other,â the younger woman reaches out to squeeze Paigeâs hand gently before she stands up, âI think you just need to find that voice too P.â
âIâm scared Az,â Paige says softly.Â
âI am too,â Azzi admits as she leans down to brush the blondeâs tears away with her thumb, âtrusting is really fucking scary. I get it. but maybe- maybe it would be a little less scary if we did it together.â
Paige shudders when Azzi presses a kiss to her forehead, the brunette's lips lingering long after sheâs embedded every unspoken thought into it. She pulls away almost reluctantly, patting Paigeâs cheeks lightly before starting to walk back towards the door.Â
âAzzi,â the blonde calls out, mouth going a little drying when Azzi turns over her shoulder, âdonât go to dinner with ClĂ©mence.âÂ
Go with me. Let me take you and Stephie out to dinner instead.Â
âDonât hold on to the deal with the Liberty,â Azzi says quietly in lieu of an actual answer, âsay youâll stay.â
Paige falters, âAz I-â
âI already told you P,â thereâs a sad smile on Azziâs face before she turns away, âyou can have time or you can have us but you canât have both. Not right now.Â
âAzzi-â
âI hope you find that voice soon Paige and I hope it leads you back to me.â
***
August 2032Â
Paige is standing in a corner -a dirty Shirley in her hand- cackling at a joke that Cam had just made when she sees her entering and the laughter dies in her throat. Cam notices the change immediately, her eyes tracking Paigeâs gaze until they land on the brunette whoâs being pulled into a series of congratulatory hugs by players from other countries.Â
âSo where did yâall go last night?â the LA Sparks center asks casuallyÂ
âWhat?â Paige asks distractedly, her eyes narrowing when she notices a familiar French player inching towards the door for a hug of her own.Â
âYou and Azzi,â Cam clarifies and Paige swallows at the mention of her name, âyâall disappeared while we were all still celebrating. Lowkey felt like we were back in Belarus all over again when yâall just kept going off somewhere with each other,â the taller woman shoots Paige a teasing grin, âso whereâd you go?â
âJust uh- just needed some air,â Paige bites her lip at the lie.Â
Because the truth is that once theyâd left the hotel bar, and theyâd practically pounced on each other -from the elevator till theyâd made it to Paigeâs hotel room- theyâd barely come up for air. The feeling of each otherâs lips and bare skin was more intoxicating than any drink theyâd consumed -maybe even more intoxicating than the Olympic Gold medal theyâd finally won together earlier that day- and neither of them seemed to care about unimportant matters such as breathing.Â
Cam quirks an eyebrow as she sips at her drink, âif you say so Bueckers.â
âI do say so,â Paige retorts before dislodging herself from the wall sheâd been leaning against, eyes still tracking every moment Azzi made, âwe should- we should go say hi.â
âWe should, should we?â Cam smirks but the sweet angel she is, she falls into step easily with Paige as they start walking across the room.Â
The banquet hall is buzzing with players dancing and drinking and mingling with each other. Now that the basketball portion of the Olympics was over, theyâd all returned from being fierce competitors playing for their country, to being the friendly co-players they all were. Laughter and chatter fills the air as teammates and rivals alike, reconnect at the FIBA-sponsored party that had almost all of the womenâs basketball players participating in Bris2032 in attendance.Â
âAzziiii,â Cam squeals as the two of them finally reach the Valkyries superstar whoâd just finished hugging Gabby.Â
Azzi grins when she sees Cam but it slips a little when she notices Paige next to her. Sheâs quick to fix it, eyes going back to Cam as she pulls the taller woman into a hug. Something pinches against Paigeâs heart and she forces herself to look away; her gaze landing instead on where Gabby has walked away from the three of them to slip an arm around Marineâs waist. Paige stares wistfully at the scene -at the way Marine relaxes into Gabbyâs touch as she continues whatever conversation sheâd been involved in. Itâs all she wants and instinctively, her eyes wander back to Azzi.Â
âHey,â Paige says slowly as Azzi lets go of Cam, disappointment coursing through her veins when all she gets is a nod of acknowledgement.
âSo Azzi I was just asking Paige here, where yâall disappeared to last night?â Cam asks with a teasing tone.Â
Azzi blanches as the question, âoh um- I- uh I wanted to go check in on Stephie.â
âAnd you needed Paige to come with you for that?âÂ
A distinctly pink hue begins at the base of Azziâs neck, climbing up until it tints her cheeks, âI was a little tipsy and uh- just wanted the support I guess.â
Paige almost snorts at the response. Azzi had been way beyond tipsy and Paige wouldnât have been any support, considering sheâd been maybe two drinks away from blacking out. But she supposes, Cam probably doesnât need to know that and she definitely doesnât need to know what it had led to.Â
âInteresting,â the taller blonde looks between the two women as she takes another sip of her drink, âPaige just said yâall needed some air.â
âI mean that- that was definitely a part of it too. The bar was getting pretty hot-â this time Paige does snort at Azziâs answer which gets her an amused look from Cam and a very unamused look from the brunette herself.Â
Cam puts her hands up in surrender, âlisten if Paige says yâall needed air and if you say you needed to go see Stephie, I believe you,â she says but that cheeky grin on her face says the exact opposite.Â
âSpeaking of Stephie. Itâs uh- itâs almost her bedtime and I should uh- I should call my Mom so I can say goodnight,â Azzi manages a tightlipped smile towards the two other women before she disappears into the crowd, heading towards the balcony.Â
Paige hesitates for a second before she turns to face Cam and that shit-eating, knowing smirk on her friendâs face almost has her giving into her pride and swallowing the words sheâs about to say. Almost.Â
âIâm uh- Iâmma go to,â she stumbles out.Â
âOh of course,â Cam grins sly, âbet Azzi needs some more support huh?â
Paige shakes her head, flashing Cam her middle finger -and rolling her eyes when it causes the taller woman to laugh- as she follows after Azzi. The chill Brisbane air swarms around her as she steps out into the balcony. Azziâs standing right by the railing, her phone held right above her as she facetimes her daughter. Paige catches on quickly to the conversation, realizing that the little girl is telling her mother about how Tim had let her have ice-cream after dinner.Â
âStephanie Katarina Fudd,â Paige hears Timâs voice echo through the phone as Stephanieâs eyes go wide on the screen, âI thought it was gonna be our little secret?â
She holds in a laugh, leaning back against the door, as the little girl splutters trying to justify her tattle-taling, âitâs Mama, Pops. I canât hide things from my Mama.â
Tim scoffs but thereâs no genuine irritation to it, âthatâs the last time I give you ice-cream.â
Stephanie shoots him an unimpressed look, âyou say that all the time Pops and then you give me ice-cream anyways.â
âSheâs got you there,â Katie choruses from the back and Paige watches as she high-five her grand-daughter.Â
And she doesnât quite know what that pang in her chest means, but sheâs felt it every time sheâs seen Stephani and the Fudds over the course of the Olympics. The Fudds had come to Brisbane -of course they had- and every time Paige caught sight of them in the stands or watched them from the corner of her eyes, it felt like something was stinging against her rib cage. Theyâd all had custom #35 Azzi jerseys and their cheers were louder than every other voice in the arena any time Team USA did anything and after each win, theyâd been the first people down the stairs, ready to hug envelope Azzi in a hug. At the forefront of it was Stephanie, whoâd ran into her motherâs arms at lightning quick speed and Paige had watched -hoping she was being at least somewhat conspicuous- as Azzi had spun the little girl around.Â
It wasnât that the Fudds ignored Paige. In fact theyâd made it a point to come over to her right after to wrap her up amidst themselves. Stephanie had come over too, her smile shy as sheâd congratulated Paige on the wins. The little girl clearly didnât quite remember their interaction from all-star last year -her eyes regarding Paige almost like a stranger- and the blonde consoles herself with the fact that Stephanieâs only four. Four year olds werenât known for remembering things that had happened when they were three. Still, it hurt a little bit considering Paige thinks of that interaction more than she probably should. Â
But even though sheâd still gotten the hugs and the smiles and the congratulations, it wasnât quite the same, wasnât anything like sheâd picture during the conversations of weâll get customized 5+35 Bueckers-Fudd jerseys for the Olympics sheâd once had with Tim and Katie.Â
âAlright Stephie-Bean, Mamaâs gonna head back into the party-â Paige refocuses on the conversation just in time to hear Azzi get cut off by her rather dramatic daughter.
âI canât bel-ieve you went to another party without me Mama,â Stephanie drags out the words, âno Mama-good-night-kisses cause she pick party-time over Stephie time.â
The little girlâs joking but Paige can tell by the way it makes Azzi pause for a second -her shoulder stiffening just a little bit- that itâs hit a nerve. She wants to soothe it away, wants to wrap her arms around her from behind, hitch her chin over her neck and take away all of Azziâs worries. And that bitter thought -the one that seems to surface every time her heart beats a little faster for the brunette, the one that had filled her head when sheâd woken up next to the younger woman earlier this morning- takes birth in her head again. The thought she could have done all of that -would have the right to do it- if only Azzi had just said yes.
âIâll make it up to you Stephie-bean,â she hears Azzi promise, âtomorrow, just you and me okay sweetheart? All of my timeâs gonna be yours.â
Stephanieâs face immediately brightens up, âokay Mama,â she says happily as she blows a kiss to the screen, âlove you Mama. Good night.â
âGood night sweet girl. I love you more,â Azzi choruses back, waving at the screen before she cuts the call.Â
It takes her a moment to turn around and Paige watches as Azzi takes in a deep breath, a subtle smile on her face as she takes in the Brisbane skyline. When she does finally turn around, surprise filters onto her expression at seeing the blonde standing there.Â
âHey,â Paige whispers nervously, stuffing her hands into the pocket of her pants.Â
Azzi looks at her for a moment, âhi.â
They stand there rigidly, letting the tension -a completely different kind than the one that had encompassed them last night- simmer between them. Itâs almost like they're daring each other to say something, to address the elephant in the room.Â
Azzi breaks first, âsomething you wanted to say?â
âJust wanted some air,â Paige says, cringing a little bit at the clichĂ© line that sheâs now used twice in one night.Â
âRight,â Azzi nods, moving towards the door, âguess Iâll leave you to it then.â
Her voice is tinged with an iciness that sets Paige on edge. They havenât been like this in a while and sheâd thought theyâd let go of the resentful exes gimmick theyâd had going on for the first couple of years. But the hardness in Azziâs tone suggests that itâs back with vengeance tonight.Â
âAz-â Paige calls out.Â
âWhat?â Azzi asks loudly, biting her lip when the harshness of it almost makes the blonde stumble back, âsorry I-â
But before she can apologize, Paige finds herself retaliating with the same hardness in her own tone, âwhatâs your fucking problem?â
âMy problem?â Azzi reels back, eyes flashing with anger, âare you seriously asking me that?â
âYes. Thatâs clearly what I asked,â Paige retorts.Â
Azzi laughs devoid of emotion, âI woke up to an empty bed this morning and youâre asking me what my fucking problem is?â
Guilt inches itâs way up Paigeâs spine but it pales in comparison to the anger that flickers in the pit of her stomach, âoh thatâs rich coming from you.â
âExcuse me?â
âIs that not exactly what you did last time we fucked,â the profanity tastes acetous as it falls through Paigeâs lips because it sounds wrong, like sheâs insulting the sanctity of their relationship, no matter how broken it might be.Â
âNo itâs not,â Azzi nostrils flare, âI told you I was leaving. I had the common fucking decency to let you know. I didnât just sneak out.â
Paige rolls her eyes, âoh spare me the semantics. Itâs all the same shit at the end of the day. We both left.â
âOh fuck you Paige,â Azzi snarls as she tries to leave but Paige is quicker, fingers wrapping around her wrist to stop her.Â
And everything sheâd been prepared to say dies in her throat because now theyâre too close, chests heaving in harmony as their matching glares turn into something else. Paigeâs eyes fall to Azziâs lips, breath hitching when the brunetteâs tongue darts out for a second to wet them. She tugs on Azziâs wrist experimentally, pleased when thereâs little hesitation and the younger woman lets herself be pulled closer. The air is electric with want as they lean in slowly, their noses brushing against each other as they wait for each other to make a move, to close the distance.Â
But then thereâs the sound of someone clearing their throat, followed by someone else coughing and the two of them spring apart like theyâve been burned.
âJesus Az, careful!â Janaâs concerned voice makes Paigeâs ears perk up and she follows the Egyptians line of sight to see that Azzi had moved back so fast that sheâd fallen back against the balcony railing.Â
âIâm fine,â Azzi says hurriedly but the shake in her voice betrays that sheâs anything but.Â
âAre you?â Paige turns to find Aaliyah watching them with the wary gaze of someone whoâs been around them and their bullshit far too long, âbecause uh- we can hear yâall yelling from inside.â
Azziâs eyes shoot up, panic evident on her face, âyou heard us? Did you- could you hear what we said?â
Paige scoffs loudly, âoh right yeah because that would be really fucking bad wouldnât be it Azzi? God forbid anyone found out you fucked me.â
And she doesnât even know why sheâs arguing -honestly sheâs just as embarrassed at the idea of their teammates and rivals and everyone else in between actually overhearing their argument- but it pinches a nerve and she pointedly looks away from Azziâs ashen face.Â
âYou guys fucked?â Paige flinches at how loud Jana is and Aaliyah lets out a low groan.Â
âJana,â the Canadian warns, pinching the bridge of her nose.Â
âSorry but like,â Jana looks back and forth between Paige and Azzi, dropping her voice, âyâall fucked?â
Paige sighs, feeling drained as she leans back against a pillar for support, âthatâs what I said yes.â
If possible, Janaâs eyes get even wider, âso- so what does that mean for the two of you? Are you- are yâall gonna get back together?â
Azzi looks at Paige.Â
Paige looks at Azzi.Â
And itâs like theyâre both imploring each other to answer Janaâs question and to answer it right.Â
âIt means nothing,â itâs the wrong answer and Paige knows it even before she says it -can tell by the way Azzi barely reacts that she knows Paige doesnât even really believe herself- but she thinks maybe theyâre not quite ready to get it right. Not yet.Â
âWell there you go,â Azzi says quietly, shrugging nonchalantly at Jana, âit means nothing.â
Paige flinches at the repetition of her own words, looking away as Azzi starts walking towards the door again. The brunetteâs shoulder brushes against the older womanâs -sparks igniting around them- and she hesitates.Â
âIt means nothing,â Azzi repeats, her voice a longing whisper only meant for Paigeâs ears, âbut maybe it couldâve meant something. If youâd stayed.â
***
June 2033
Paige is sulking in her room -watching film to distract herself from the images of ClĂ©mence, Azzi and Stephie together from last night that her brain is hellbent on conjuring up- when her pity party is broken up by the sound of her doorbell. She has the urge to ignore it, to stay curled up in the same position sheâs been in all day. Itâs a rather pathetic way to have spent one of her rare days off but itâs the only thing sheâd felt like doing. But then whoeverâs outside her door starts to press the bell longer and Paige huffs -irritated by the loudness of it- as she forces herself out of bed.Â
Sheâs not sure who she was expecting. Perhaps Jana, whoâd caught on rather quickly to what was happening between her two former teammates and had been making somewhat of an attempt to help fix it. Maybe Colleen, here to knock some sense into her on Azziâs behalf. Or maybe even Tessa, who Paige had learned in the most awkward way, knew about them when the former Gamecock had made a teasing remark about the two of them the next practice, not knowing what had transpired two nights before. When both Paige and Azzi had immediately tensed, instead of blushing or rolling their eyes, Tessa had been perceptive enough to understand something had gone wrong. Sheâd been trying to help Jana ever since and Paige half expects it to be her at the door with words of wisdom and comfort alike.Â
Who she isnât expecting is Tim Fudd.Â
His wife, she wouldâve understood. After all Katie had done exactly that before and it was in the older womanâs nature to meddle just a little bit. Her husband, on the other hand, tended to stay as far out of things as possible. He could be a hovering coach and whenever Azziâs spirits were low, heâd be there with a ridiculous dad joke and arms outstretched for a big bear hug. But when it came to his daughterâs personal life, Tim Fudd did his best not to interfere.Â
Tim smiles at Paige when she opens the door, one hand holding up a bottle of whiskey with a grin on his face while his other hand is hidden behind his back. He rolls his eyes fondly when he notices the skeptical look Paige shoots at his liquor of choice before he reveals the premade bottle of dirty Shirley heâs been hiding behind his back.Â
âTsk tsk,â he grins mockingly, âwhat would the fans say if they knew their big bad rizzler canât drink anything but a sweet cocktail?â
Paige shakes her head as she steps aside to let the man inside, âjust cause I donât drink cheap whiskey, doesnât mean I donât drink anything other than cocktails.â
âCheap?!â Tim guffaws as the accusation, âIâll have you know this is a Macallan.â
âYou know that hat means nothing to me right,â Paige says as she follows his lead into her kitchen.Â
Itâs almost foreign having somebody else in her space. Since Drew had left -rather hesitantly after seeing his sisterâs condition- the house had been devoid of anyone else but Paige. Jana had tried to invite herself over a couple of times but it had gone in vain when Paige had chosen solitude over any company. Itâs not that she particularly wants to be alone, itâs that she thinks -no, she knows- that thereâs only two people who can cure this dreadful loneliness that feels like itâs become an innate part of existence.Â
âSit,â Tim says as he rummages through Paigeâs cupboards for two glasses.Â
Hesitating for a split second, Paige does as she's told, âdid Azzi send you?â
âAre you hoping she did?â Tim asks pointedly as he places two glasses one top of the counter, filling one with whiskey and other with dirty Shirley.Â
Paige swallows as she accepts the drink from his hand, ânah,â lies, â just uh- just feels like something sheâd do.â
Tim looks at her for a minute as he takes a sip of his whiskey.Â
âShe didnât send me,â he says finally and Paige tries to mask the tinge of disappointment his words send through her by taking a large swig of her shirley.Â
âThis tastes like shit,â she grimaces, wiping her mouth with the back of hand.Â
âThat premade stuff usually does. Itâs that easy shit you know? The things that just exist without you doing any work. Just doesnât hit the same as the harder stuff,â Tim says slowly as he leans back against his chair, a clear double meaning in his words.Â
âYouâre using alcohol as a metaphor? So I guess Katie sent you then?â Paige manages a half-smile but she feels her stomach churn at the implication of what heâd just said.Â
Tim laughs, âit was my idea actually.â
âHer meddling rubbing off on you?â Paige quirks an eyebrow.Â
Tim shakes his head, âIâm not here to meddle. Just wanted to tell you a story.â
Paige sighs, âso you are here to meddle then.â
Tim ignores her, fiddling with the glass of whiskey in his hands, âdid you know Katie and I almost didnât end up together?â
Paige stares at the older man in shock. Maybe she shouldnât be so surprised; relationships were complicated after all. But for all the years sheâd known Tim and Katie, theyâd always been just that. TimAndKatie. The epitome of stableness that had stood strong amongst all the other relationships Paige had watched break down one by one.
âDonât look so shocked,â Tim says lightly when he notices how wide Paigeâs eyes have gotten, âeveryone makes mistakes. Weâre all capable of doing dumb shit that almost makes us lose everything weâve ever loved.â
Paige gulps, âwhat- what did you do?â
âI left,â Tim says slowly.Â
âYou left?â the familiar words make Paige nauseous and she wonders if that slightly regretful look on Azziâs dadâs face is echoed on her own.Â
âIt was a couple months into our relationship and Katie and I had a huge fight. It was about her not letting me make a decision about Azzi,â Tim explains and the similarity of the situation almost makes Paige want to block her ears.Â
âIt was something small, something stupid. Probably nothing that even mattered cause I donât even remember it. But I remember how I felt. I was really fucking mad but more than anything I think- I think I was scared. Because that argument, it was a remind that even though I loved her so fucking much, Azzi wasnât mine. Not yet. And that if I lost Katie, Iâd lose her too. The idea of losing Katie was scary enough but losing both of them? I didnât know how to deal with that,â Tim's voice shakes, like heâs relieving his biggest fears and Paige feels her own eyes start to water; his words settling salt in her still-raw open wounds.Â
âAnd it got so heated and we were yelling all this bullshit at each other that eventually I just- I didnât know what else to do and I just- I started to leave. And Azzi- I guess we were so loud we woke her up- she- she saw me leaving,â thereâs an unfamiliar grave look on the normally jovial old manâs face as he reminisces that night, âshe ran down the stairs and threw herself at my knees begging me not to go but I- I was so mad and so fucking scared that I walked away anyways.â
âHow- how did you fix it?â Paige asks, her voice almost pleading as she wipes away the droplets of water running freely down her cheeks.Â
âWell not immediately thatâs for sure,â Tim cracks a smile, trying to lighten the mood, âtook me a little bit of time to pull my head out of my ass and when I finally did, Katie wasnât so quick to forgive me for it either. And it wasnât about her or me or us, it was about Azzi. The first time I showed up, she didnât even let me in. Said she could only let me through that door again if I could promise to stay. Because Azzi had seen me leave once and she wasnât gonna let her see it again.â
âIt mustâve killed you,â Paige whispers, her stomach twisting in knots, âthe guilt of hurting her.â
Tim nods, âit did but I think- or at least I hope Iâve made up for it now.â
âYou have,â Paige reaches over to squeeze his arm gently, âhow did you get her to forgive you?â
âSimple,â Tim places his own hand over hers as he continues, âwe talked it out. I explained all my fears to her. How scared I was of losing her, of losing Azzi. And she- she understood because she was scared too, scared of losing me, scared of Azzi losing me. In the end we were both scared of the same thing but all of that got a whole lot less scary when we faced it together.â
Maybe it would be a little less scary if we did it together
âHow did you get over it,â Paige asks, almost desperately, âthe fear of losing them? How did you move past that?â
Tim smiles wistfully, âtime. Not time apart but time together. It wasnât easy taking that first step, facing that fear but I knew if I wanted them, it was what I was gonna have to do. And I had to trust Katie, that if I stayed, sheâd stay.â
âAnd she stayed,â Paige says softly.Â
âYeah she did,â this time, Timâs grin breaks through his entire, âand the more time she stayed, the more my trust in her grew until one day I just knew. I knew she wasnât gonna leave ever again. Well, maybe sheâs thought about it a couple of times like when I nearly burnt the house down tryna make cookies or when I accidentally tore a hole in our wall tryna hang up a photo frame.Â
Paige lets out a watery laugh as Tim winks at her, everything suddenly seeming a lot more simple than it had before the older man had walked through her door.Â
âI know itâs not quite the same for you and Azzi,â Tim continues slowly, âyou guys have a history that Katie and I didnât. You both have more reasons to be scared than the two of us did. But Paige, Iâve always thought you were it for my baby girl. From the moment she came back from USA camp and all she could talk about was you, I just knew.â
Paige canât help the broken sob that escapes her lips and Tim immediately rounds the kitchen counter to wrap an arm around her shoulder.Â
âWhen she was pregnant with Stephie, she kept on asking for mint-choc chip ice cream. Said it was a craving or something. And she decorated everything for her in purple. All the baby clothes she bought were shades of purple,â he doesnât quite say why Azzi did all of that but thereâs a clear implication in his words.Â
And Paige thinks that probably, why she and Stephie are so similar, why they shared so many favorites, why the little girl had always felt like hers. Because Azzi had given a part of Paige to her daughter, even when she hadnât had Paige herself.Â
âKatie and Azzi, theyâre mine but I think- I think if maybe someone else had gotten to them first -someone who loved them just as much as I do- maybe thereâs a chance things would be different but Paige,â Tim squeezes the younger woman gently, âI think Azziâs always been waiting for you. Subconsciously at least. Thereâs never really been anybody elese for her. Her and Stephie, theyâve both always been waiting for you, theyâve both always been yours.â
âYou mean that?â Paige asks croakily and she feels like sheâs a teenager again, asking Tim to pinky promise that heâd like her box-dyed purple hair no matter what.Â
âI do,â Tim smiles as he looks at her, âand I think theyâll be yours forever. I think they want to be. You just have to say youâll stay.â
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companions and drunk reader crying and cuddling with scratch + owlbear :33
I did this set at the reunion party because for some reason I thought that was part of the prompt but hey ho, some fluff to warm our souls and brighten us up during this darkside of the year <3
Karlach:
The reunion party was in full swing, the lively hum of conversation and laughter filling the air. Music played from a makeshift ensemble, and the scent of roasted meat and ale mingled with the crisp night breeze. You and Karlach had been inseparable for most of the evening, both of you reveling in the joy of being free from the hellish grasp of Avernus - even if it was a brief respite. Friends surrounded you, their faces lit with genuine smilesâa rare luxury in the trials youâd all endured together.
But as the night wore on and the drinks flowed freely, Karlach found herself chatting animatedly with Wyll and Gale about some shared escapades. It wasnât until a lull in the conversation that she noticed your absence.
Her brow furrowed as she scanned the crowd. Where had you gone? Youâd been right beside her just moments ago. Her heart sank slightly as her mind played through the possibilities, but then she noticed a faint commotion near the far side of the camp, where the light of the bonfire barely reached.
Curiosity and concern prompted her to investigate.
As she approached, Karlach was met with a sight that was both hilarious and heartwarming. There you were, sprawled on the ground, your cheeks flushed from too much drink, nestled comfortably between Scratch, who was contentedly licking your face, and the owlbear cubâno longer a cub but still unmistakably affectionate. The owlbear had draped itself partially over your lap, its massive body radiating warmth, while you murmured incoherent endearments and occasionally giggled.
âYou are such a good boy, Scratch,â you slurred, scratching behind the dogâs ears with one hand while your other patted the owlbearâs soft feathers. âAnd youâbig olâ fluff monsterâyouâre my second-best friend in the whole wide world. Donât tell Scratch, though.â
The owlbear let out a low, rumbling coo, and Scratch wagged his tail enthusiastically.
Karlach leaned against a nearby tree, arms crossed, and just watched you for a moment, her expression softening. The firelight caught in her amber eyes, reflecting the warmth she felt in her chest. After everything youâd been throughâfighting, surviving, strugglingâit was moments like these that made it all worthwhile. Seeing you so carefree, surrounded by creatures who adored you, filled her with a quiet contentment.
âWell, well,â she drawled, stepping closer, her voice laced with affection. âI leave you alone for five minutes, and youâve already gone and replaced me with fur and feathers.â
You looked up at her, blinking owlishly, and broke into a wide, dopey grin. âKarlach! Join us! Thereâs so much love here, itâs like⊠like a cuddle explosion!â
She chuckled, her heart melting a little more. âA cuddle explosion, huh? Sounds dangerous.â
âItâs the best kind of dangerous,â you declared, patting the ground beside you.
Karlach didnât need much convincing. With a theatrical sigh, she dropped to the ground beside you, her warm body pressing against yours. Scratch immediately climbed into her lap, while the owlbear shuffled closer to include her in its feathery embrace.
âYou know,â she said, her voice low and tender, âI think this might be the happiest Iâve ever seen you.â
ââCause Iâm with you,â you mumbled, resting your head on her shoulder. âAnd Scratch. And Big Fluffy. Itâs perfect.â
Karlach wrapped an arm around you, her fingers tracing lazy circles on your back.
âYouâre perfect, babeâ she murmured, pressing a kiss to your temple.
Minthara:
The reunion party was a raucous affair, the camp alive with laughter, clinking mugs, and the occasional outburst of song. Minthara had joined reluctantly at your insistence, her usual composed demeanor barely hiding the faint amusement she felt as she observed the chaos.
The Drow paladin rarely indulged in such frivolity, the two of you had an Underdark to conquor afterall, but tonight she allowed herself to linger, even engaging in a deep conversation with Astarion, who had recently returned to the Underdark to settle down.
As the two shared dry wit and sharp banter, Mintharaâs keen eyes darted across the camp, instinctively searching for you. When she realized you were nowhere in sight, she narrowed her eyes.
"Where has that fool wandered off to now?" she muttered under her breath, much to Astarionâs amusement.
âAh, love,â Astarion quipped, a sly smirk on his lips. âIt makes us chase after them even when weâd rather not.â
Minthara rolled her eyes but didnât deny it. She excused herself, muttering something about responsibility, and began to search for you. It didnât take longâmuffled giggles and low, rumbling noises led her toward the outskirts of the gathering. There, illuminated by the faint glow of the moonlight, she found you sprawled on the ground.
You were nestled between Scratch and the owlbear cubâthough it had long since outgrown the 'cub' monikerâand were clearly the drunkest she had ever seen you. Your face was flushed, your hair mussed, and your arms were wrapped tightly around the two creatures as if they were your most precious treasures.
âListen,â you whispered conspiratorially to the owlbear, though your volume defeated the purpose. âWeâre gonna take over the Underdark. Me, you, Scratch, and Minthara. Sheâs so scary and smart. Weâll rule everything. But donât tell herâitâs a secret plan.â
Minthara crossed her arms, raising an eyebrow as she approached.
"A secret plan, is it?" she asked, her voice dripping with mock disdain. âTaking over the Underdark with a dog and an owlbear? Truly, youâre a visionary.â
You looked up at her with wide, bleary eyes, your face breaking into a sloppy grin.
âMinthara! You found me!â you exclaimed, holding out a hand. âJoin us! Itâs a cuddle coup.â
She sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose, though there was a flicker of amusement in her crimson eyes.
âYouâre insufferable,â she muttered, turning to walk away.
But before she could take a step, you staggered to your feet with surprising agility for someone so far gone. With a triumphant shout, you lunged at her, wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her down to the ground.
Minthara yelped in surprise, glaring daggers at you as she landed unceremoniously on the grass.
âHave you lost your mind?â she snapped, but her anger quickly gave way to resignation as Scratch and the owlbear cub immediately joined in, nuzzling against her.
She froze, her normally stern expression softening as Scratch licked her cheek and the owlbear rumbled contentedly. She didnât push them away, though she grumbled, âYouâve turned me into a damned pillow.â
You beamed at her, your face close to hers as you slurred, âYouâre the best pillow ever. And the best everything else. I adore you, Minthara. You, Scratch, Owlieâyou're all my favorite.â
Her cheeks darkened with a faint blush, though she refused to acknowledge it.
âYouâre drunk,â she said curtly, her voice lacking its usual sharpness.
âAnd in love,â you replied with drunken sincerity, leaning in to press a kiss to her lips. It was sloppy and uncoordinated, but Minthara didnât pull away. She sighed, her hand coming to rest on your cheek for just a moment before she let it fall.
âI'm going to kill you,â she muttered, though her tone was more affectionate than irritated.
You grinned, nuzzling against her like a contented cat. âI can't wait.â
Minthara rolled her eyes, though a small, almost imperceptible smile played at the corners of her mouth. As Scratch and the owlbear settled around you both, she resigned herself to her fate, lying back against the grass and letting the warmth of the moment wash over her.
Perhaps you were impossible. But you were hers.
Lae'zel:
The reunion party was in full swing, the air buzzing with laughter, music, and the clinking of mugs. Youâd coaxed Laeâzel into attending, promising her that Xan, your precious hatchling, would be fine under the watchful eyes of Voss and the rebels - who were surprisingly more than happy to look after him. Though she had reluctantly agreed, you noticed her gaze drifting toward the campâs perimeter now and then, her brows furrowed with that familiar Githyanki intensity.
âRelax, Laeâzel,â you teased, nudging her gently. âXan is fine. Tonight is about us.â
Laeâzel gave you a skeptical glance but said nothing, her hand brushing against yours brieflyâa rare public display of affection from her that made your heart swell. For a while, the two of you enjoyed the festivities, sharing drinks and banter with your companions. But as the evening wore on and the wine flowed more freely, you became⊠well, significantly more inebriated.
At some point, Laeâzel turned to speak with Wyll, who was recounting one of his latest exploits. When she turned back, you were gone.
Her jaw clenched as she scanned the crowd, her warrior instincts kicking in despite the harmless nature of the gathering. She stomped through the camp, muttering curses under her breath as she searched for you.
âYou couldnât stay in one place, could you?â she growled.
It wasnât long before she heard familiar, albeit slurred, murmuring. Following the sound, she found you sprawled on the ground near the campfire, flanked by Scratch and the now nearly full-grown owlbear cub. Tears streamed down your face as you hugged the animals close, stroking their fur and feathers.
âI love her so much,â you sobbed into Scratchâs neck. âAnd Xan. Xan is perfect. Perfect little hatchling.â
Laeâzel froze, her expression caught between exasperation and disbelief. She crossed her arms and glared down at you. âWhat are you doing, fool?â
You looked up at her, your face lighting up with drunken joy.
âLaeâzel!â you cried, holding out your arms. âYouâre here! Youâre so amazing, and strong, andâhicâbeautiful. I love you.â
Laeâzel pinched the bridge of her nose, her shoulders heaving with a deep sigh.
âYou are worse than Xan when he is hungry,â she muttered. Turning her attention to the animals, she pointed toward the river. âDrag this mess into the water. Perhaps it will sober them up.â
Scratch tilted his head, his tail wagging, while the owlbear let out a soft, rumbling croon. They looked at her, clearly uninterested in complying.
You giggled, stroking the owlbearâs feathers. âThey like you, Laeâzel. They know youâre the best. Everyone knows youâre the best.â
Laeâzelâs irritation flickered, her lips pressing into a tight line as she fought to suppress the small smile threatening to emerge.
âYouâre insufferable,â she declared, but there was no venom in her tone.
At her words, you burst into fresh tears. âXan is so lucky to have you as a mom. Iâm so lucky! How did I get so lucky?â
Laeâzel knelt beside you, her movements stiff but deliberate as she pulled you upright and into her arms.
âYouâre drunk and ridiculous,â she said, her voice low but steady.
You wrapped your arms around her, clinging tightly. âBut I love you,â you mumbled into her shoulder.
Laeâzel let out a small, exasperated sigh, but she didnât push you away. Instead, she adjusted her grip, holding you firmly against her.
Her fingers brushed against your hair as she murmured, âYou are fortunate I have patience tonight.â
You snuggled into her embrace, your tears finally subsiding as warmth and exhaustion took over. Though her expression remained stoic, a faint, hidden smile tugged at the corners of her lips. She did love you, she loved Xan, and the feathered and furred beasts weren't too bad either.
Shadowheart:
The reunion party was a vibrant celebration, a gathering of friends, companions, and allies, each reveling in the hard-won peace after so many battles. You and Shadowheart stood together, hand in hand, sharing a quiet joy amid the merriment. The news that the owlbear cubânow a formidable but still affectionate creatureâwould be coming back to your farm had filled you both with delight. The prospect of a peaceful life on your little slice of the countryside, surrounded by Scratch, the owlbear, your other small army of animals and each other, was everything youâd dreamed of.
Youâd both mingled, laughed, and shared drinks, but at some point, Shadowheart turned to grab another bottle of wine, only to find you had disappeared. Her brow furrowed, though she didnât panic. You werenât exactly subtle when you were drunk, and it wasnât hard to follow the sound of your voice, rising in animated, tearful elation.
When she finally found you, Shadowheart couldnât help but pause, her arms crossing as she observed the scene before her. You were seated on the grass near the campfire, Scratch pressed against your side, his tail wagging lazily, while the owlbear nestled on the other side, its feathers ruffled as you gently stroked its beak.
âAnd youâre gonna love the farm,â you slurred, gesturing wildly with the bottle in your hand. âThereâs fields to run in, and soft places to sleep, and you twoââ you sniffed, your voice breaking slightly as you turned to the animalsâ âare gonna be so happy. So loved.â
The owlbear let out a deep, contented rumble, and Scratch licked your cheek, which only made your drunken tears flow harder. Shadowheart raised an eyebrow, her lips quirking into a small smile.
âYouâre really laying it on thick, arenât you?â she said, stepping into the firelight.
Your head snapped up, your face lighting up as if youâd seen the sun itself.
âShadowheart!â you cried, scrambling to your feet only to stumble and flop back onto the grass. âYouâre here! Come here, come hereâcuddle pile!â
Shadowheart sighed but couldnât suppress her amused grin as you reached out for her.
âYouâre hopeless,â she muttered, though there was no real bite to her words. She approached and allowed herself to be pulled down into the pile of fur and feathers, the owlbear shifting to make room for her as Scratch barked happily.
âThis is the best night ever,â you declared, wrapping your arms around her and pressing a kiss to her temple. âIâm so happy, Shadowheart. Weâre gonna have the best life. You, me, Scratch, and this big feathery baby.â
She shook her head, laughing softly as she snatched the bottle from your hand.
âYouâve had enough,â she said, taking a swig herself. The wine burned pleasantly as it went down, and she let out a contented sigh. âThough I suppose I canât argue with your enthusiasm.â
As the night wore on, Shadowheart found herself caught up in your infectious joy. She joined in on your rambling talks of the futureâof gardens youâd plant, adventures youâd take, and all the little moments of happiness waiting for you both.
âYou know,â she said, her voice soft as she leaned her head against your shoulder, âI think youâre right. This is going to be a good life.â
Your only response was a drunken hum of agreement, your arms tightening around her as the warmth of the fire, the animals, and each other enveloped you both. In that moment, everything felt perfect. Everything was perfect. Everything was going to be perfect.
Jaheira:
The reunion party was in full swing, laughter and music filling the air as friends and allies celebrated the peace you had all fought so hard to achieve. You and Jaheira stood together for much of the evening, your hand occasionally brushing against hers in a quiet intimacy. She was radiant in her element, speaking with old friends, trading stories of past battles, and offering wisdom to those who sought it.
At some point, she became engrossed in a conversation with Halsin, the two of them naturally drawn together by their shared love for nature and nurturing. Their talk turned to the orphans Halsin had come to care for, and Jaheira, with her ever-compassionate heart, shared tales of her own tendency to adopt and guide wayward children.
âI suppose I canât help myself,â she admitted with a soft chuckle. âPerhaps itâs the druid in me, or perhaps just the mother.â
Halsin nodded with a knowing smile. âItâs a noble trait, Jaheira. The world is better for it.â
But as Jaheira began to share another story, she realized something: you were no longer at her side. She scanned the crowd, her brow furrowing in mild irritation.
âSpeaking of wayward children,â she muttered under her breath, excusing herself from Halsin with a polite nod. âNow where have you wandered off to?â
It wasnât hard to track you down; she simply followed the faint sound of sniffling and tearful rambling. What she found made her stop in her tracks, crossing her arms with an exasperated sigh.
There you were, sprawled on the grass near the fire, clutching Scratch and the owlbear cubâthough it was hardly a cub anymore. The owlbear sat with a dignified sort of calm, its feathers ruffled from your clumsy affection, while Scratch lay happily across your lap, his tail wagging lazily.
âAnd you guys,â you sniffled, gesturing to the animals with the bottle still clutched in one hand, âyouâre the best. I love you so much. Youâre good boys. The best boys.â
Jaheira approached, shaking her head as she took in the sight of you, your face red from tears and wine.
âWhat on earth are you doing?â she asked, though her voice held a note of amusement. You looked up, your tear-streaked face lighting up at the sight of her.
âJaheira!â you cried, holding your arms out dramatically. âYouâre here! Come cuddle with us!â
âCuddle?â she repeated, raising an eyebrow. âDarling, youâre drunk.â
âIâm emotional,â you corrected, your voice wobbling as fresh tears welled in your eyes. âAnd you have to cuddle with us, orâor Iâll never forgive you! Ever!â
Jaheira sighed, pressing a hand to her forehead as though trying to muster the patience of a saint.
âYou are worse than Halsin's orphans,â she teased, but there was no mistaking the warmth in her tone. âAnd thatâs saying something.â
Your lip wobbled, and you clutched Scratch tighter.
âPlease,â you whimpered, the plea so earnest and pitiful that Jaheira couldnât help but laugh.
âAll right, all right,â she said, holding her hands up in mock surrender. âIf it means that much to you.â
She knelt beside you, allowing you to pull her into the chaotic cuddle pile. The owlbear gave a soft hoot, adjusting its position to include her, while Scratch wagged his tail even harder at her presence.
âSee?â you murmured, wrapping your arms around her as you leaned heavily against her shoulder. âThis is nice. Isnât it nice?â
Jaheira let out a long-suffering sigh, though a smile tugged at her lips as she rested her head against yours.
âYouâre ridiculously impossible,â she said softly. âBut yes, this is⊠nice.â
For a while, the two of you sat there, surrounded by warmth and fur and feathers. Jaheira found herself relaxing despite the absurdity of the situation, her arm slipping around your waist as she pressed a soft kiss to your temple.
âYouâre lucky I love you,â she murmured. You hummed happily, nuzzling into her shoulder.
âI know,â you slurred, the wine making your voice thick. âAnd I love you, too. So, so much.â
Jaheira chuckled, shaking her head as she tightened her hold on you.
âYouâll be the death of me,â she said fondly. âBut I wouldnât have it any other way.â
Gale:
The reunion party buzzed with energy, laughter and conversation flowing freely among friends old and new - thanks to Minsc's addition. You and Gale were nestled in a quieter corner of the celebration, a glass of wine in your hand and Gale gesturing animatedly with his own as he launched into an impassioned tale about his latest trials as a professor at Blackstaff Academy.
ââŠand would you believe it? One of the students thought it prudent to attempt wild magic on their first evocation test! I spent half the afternoon dispelling chaos and putting out firesâliteral firesâand the other half explaining why summoning imps in a classroom was hardly conducive to learning.â
You nodded along, smiling as you watched the way his eyes lit up when he spoke of his work. His passion was endearing, and yet⊠a mischievous thought crept into your mind as you caught sight of Scratch wagging his tail nearby, the owlbear cubâno longer quite a cubâlounging lazily beside him.
When Gale paused to take a sip of his wine, you saw your chance.
âFascinating,â you said quickly, standing and pressing a kiss to his cheek. âBe right back, love.â
He blinked, caught off guard but easily reassured by the peck. âOh, certainly. Donât wander too far.â
You didnât answer, instead making a beeline for the animals. A few moments later, you were leading Scratch and the owlbear cub away from the main gathering, giggling to yourself as you went. An hour later, Gale finally noticed your absence and set off to find you.
He tracked you down by the sound of your voice, soft and teasing as you lounged in a quiet grove just beyond the party. There you were, sprawled on the grass with Scratch snuggled into one side and the owlbear cub resting its heavy head on your lap. Your cheeks were flushed with drink, your eyes glassy with a mix of affection and mischief.
âAnd Gale,â you slurred, stroking the owlbearâs feathers as if imparting some great wisdom, âwanted to be a god. A god! Can you believe it? Silly Gale. He doesnât need to be a god. Heâs already⊠already my god. My love, my lifeâŠâ Your voice dropped conspiratorially, and you hiccupped. âBut he wouldâve been a prick as a god. Donât you think?â
âDo you think so?â Galeâs amused voice cut in, and you turned your head to see him standing there, arms crossed but a fond smile tugging at his lips. You gasped dramatically.
âGale!â You grinned at him, patting the grass beside you. âCome here! Join us! Cuddle!â
âI think not,â he said, though the smile on his face betrayed him. âSomeone has to ensure you donât declare my divine candidacy to the owlbear.â
Your grin wavered, and you pouted, your bottom lip trembling as your eyes filled with exaggerated tears.
âYou wonât cuddle with me?â you sniffled, your voice wobbling. âYou donât love me anymore?â
Galeâs resolve crumbled instantly. He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. âYou know I canât say no to that face.â
With a dramatic flourish, you opened your arms wide. âThen get over here, Professor Dekarios!â
He rolled his eyes but couldnât hide the laughter bubbling in his chest as he lowered himself to the grass beside you. Scratch immediately wriggled over to press against his side, while the owlbear gave a satisfied huff and shifted to accommodate him. You threw your arms around him, nuzzling into his chest as if he were the most comfortable pillow in the world.
âSee?â you murmured, your voice soft and content. âThis is perfect. My god. My Gale.â
He chuckled, pressing a kiss to your hair. âI suppose there are worse fates than being your god. Though next time, perhaps less wine and more water.â
You hummed in agreement, already half-asleep against him. Gale shook his head, his heart full as he tightened his arms around you and let the peaceful moment wash over him.
Astarion:
The reunion party was in full swing, with the warm glow of laughter and clinking glasses filling the air. You and Astarion had arrived arm-in-arm, though the two of you quickly found yourselves mingling with different groups. Astarion had gravitated toward Minthara, the two of them caught in an animated conversation about how you and he had adjusted to life in the Underdarkâa topic Astarion spoke of with a surprising fondness.
You, however, had been immediately distracted by Scratch, whose wagging tail and joyful demeanor were too much to resist. Youâd spent some time tossing a stick for him before finding the owlbear cubânow fully grownâlounging nearby. One thing led to another, and soon enough, youâd wandered off, leaving Astarion none the wiser.
When he finally noticed your absence, it was only because Minthara raised an eyebrow mid-conversation. âIt seems your partner has⊠disappeared.â
Astarion sighed, his eyes scanning the crowd. âThey do tend to wander, donât they? One moment theyâre here, the next, theyâve likely befriended every stray within a ten-mile radius.â
It didnât take him long to find you. The sound of your drunken sniffles and delighted murmurs led him to a quiet corner of the grove, where you were sprawled on the grass, your arms wrapped around Scratch and the owlbear cub. Your cheeks were flushed, your eyes glassy, and you were mid-sentence in what appeared to be an earnest declaration.
âYouâre just⊠so cute,â you hiccupped, scratching the owlbear behind its feathered ears. âBoth of you. The cutest. I donât deserve you. Nobody does.â
Astarion stepped closer, his lips curling into a smirk as he crossed his arms.
âWell, well, what have we here?â he drawled, his voice dripping with amusement. âThe drunkest Iâve ever seen you, cuddling animals and crying over their cuteness. Truly, a sight to behold.â
You looked up at him, your expression a mix of delight and indignation.
âItâs not my fault!â you exclaimed, sitting upâthough the effort made you wobble. âScratch⊠Scratch has been fetching me wine!â
Astarion raised a skeptical brow, his smirk widening. âScratch has been fetching you wine? Darling, I taught you to lie better than that.â
You gasped, clutching Scratch protectively. âAre you calling me a liar? Scratch would never let me lie. Heâs too good, too pure!â
The dog wagged his tail innocently, clearly pleased with the attention. He rolled his eyes but couldnât help the smile tugging at his lips as he moved to sit beside you.
âYes, yes, Scratch is the pinnacle of virtue. Now, move over before you collapse completely.â He pulled you against his side, his arm wrapping around your waist. You immediately snuggled into him, still hiccuping slightly as you continued to pet the animals.
Just as Astarion was starting to feel truly settled, Scratch suddenly trotted off.
âAnd where are you going, you furry little enabler?â he called after the dog. Moments later, Scratch returned, tail wagging proudly as he carried a bottle of blood in his jaws. Astarionâs mouth fell open slightly in surprise, and then he laughed, the sound rich and genuine. âWell, Iâll be damned. He really is a very good boy.â
He took the bottle from Scratch, patting the dogâs head affectionately.
âMy apologies, my love. It seems you werenât lying. Who would have thought Shadowheartâs greatest contribution to our journey all those months ago was teaching this beast to fetch drinks?â
You giggled, leaning up to press a sloppy kiss to his cheek. âTold you so. Scratch is a genius. The cutest genius in the whole wide world.â
"And what about me, am I not cute?" Astarion asked in mock offence as he brushed a rogue strand of hair out of your face.
"Not as cute as Scratch and Owlbear but you try -hey give me back my wine!" You whined as Astarion took your bottle from you, brows raised, suggesting you try again. You huffed and rested your head on his shoulder looking up at him with big wet doe eyes. "You are not as cute, because you are twice as beautiful."
"I don't know if that makes sense, but I'll take it." He said, giving you back your wine with a small smile. He would have taken it off you, you really were the drunkest he had ever seen but your so-called 'wine' was actually water, Scratch really was a genius.
Wyll:
The reunion party was in full swing, a mix of old friends, laughter, and the clinking of glasses raised high in celebration. The air buzzed with the joy of shared victories and the promise of futures finally free of hardship. You and Wyll had spent much of the evening together, arm in arm, swapping stories and indulging in the abundant wine. It was a rare, beautiful moment to simply beâno battles to fight, no worlds to save.
For Wyll, the sight of you laughing and glowing with life was a reward all its own. But as the hours ticked by and the wine loosened tongues and inhibitions alike, you had somehow slipped away.
It wasnât unusual. You had a penchant for wandering when the drink took hold of you, curiosity leading you to wherever your heart fancied. Wyll, ever patient and knowing, only chuckled to himself when he realized you were gone. After excusing himself from a lively conversation with Halsin and Minsc, who were subtley trying to out-brag the other (nothing had changed there) he set out to find you, his long strides carrying him through the grove as he kept an ear out for your familiar voice.
It didnât take long. He followed the soft sound of sniffling to a secluded patch of grass where the moonlight spilled down like a spotlight. There, nestled between Scratch and the owlbearâno longer a cub but still affectionately devotedâyou sat, tears streaming down your flushed cheeks as you buried your face in the owlbearâs feathers.
âTheyâre just⊠so cute,â you murmured, your voice thick with drunken emotion. Scratchâs tail thumped happily against the ground, clearly basking in your attention, while the owlbear tilted its head in quiet curiosity.
Wyll stopped, the sight making him blink in surprise. His hand rose to cover the grin tugging at his lips.
âOh, my love,â he said softly, his voice tinged with both amusement and affection. âWhat have you gotten yourself into now?â
Your head shot up at the sound of his voice, and the moment your eyes met his, a fresh wave of tears spilled over.
âWyll!â you exclaimed, your voice breaking as though his very presence was a miracle. âYouâre here! And youâre so⊠so cute!â
Wyll blinked, momentarily startled, before laughter rumbled low in his chest.
âIâm cute, am I?â he asked, kneeling beside you. His grin widened as he took in the wine bottle lying haphazardly nearby and the glassy, adoring look in your eyes.
âYes!â you wailed, throwing your arms out dramatically. âYour smile is cute, and your horns are cute, and your eyes are cute, and your hair is cute!â You punctuated each word with a hiccupping sob, your hand waving wildly as if to emphasize your point.
Wyllâs brows lifted in amusement, though his gaze softened with love.
âI see the wine has been particularly generous with you tonight,â he teased, brushing a stray tear from your cheek. âIâm sorry for being so⊠unbearably adorable. Shall I tone it down?â
âNo!â you exclaimed, clutching his hand as though the idea was unthinkable. âDonât stop being cute! Itâs the best thing about youâno, wait.â You gasped as though struck by a revelation. âEverything about you is the best thing!â
Wyll let out a bark of laughter, shaking his head. âYou are truly something else,â he said, his voice warm as he reached out to steady you. âEven when drunk, youâre determined to flatter me into blushing.â
Your lip wobbled, and you suddenly looked utterly distraught.
âEven your boots are cute,â you whispered, as though it was the most profound truth you had ever spoken.
That was enough to undo Wyll completely. He laughed, full and unguarded, before leaning forward to press a kiss to your temple.
âAlright, alright,â he said gently. âIâll take responsibility for being impossibly charming.â
You sniffled, your tears slowing as the exhaustion of the evening began to creep up on you. With a soft hiccup, you slumped forward, burying your face in his chest. Wyllâs arms instinctively wrapped around you, holding you close as he stroked your back.
âYouâre a handful, you know that?â he murmured, though his tone held no irritationâonly affection. âBut I wouldnât have it any other way.â
The owlbear gave a low croon and leaned in, its head nuzzling against Wyllâs shoulder as though to share in the moment. Scratch let out a soft bark of agreement, his tail thumping against the ground. Wyll chuckled, his voice rumbling in his chest.
âYouâve managed to rally quite the crowd,â he said softly, glancing down at your peaceful face. But when you didnât respond, he realized you had fallen asleep, your breath even and steady against his chest.
âOh, my heart,â he said, shaking his head with a fond smile. âWhat am I to do with you?â
Carefully, he adjusted his hold and scooped you into his arms. The owlbear and Scratch followed as he carried you back toward the firelight of the party. Wyllâs steps were steady, his gaze warm as he looked down at you. Even in your drunken, tearful mess, you were his mess.
And he wouldnât trade you for the world.
Halsin:
The reunion party was nothing short of spectacular. Lanterns hung from the ancient trees, casting soft, golden light over the gathering. Music and laughter mingled with the sounds of the old faithful camp at night, a serene backdrop to the revelry. You had started the evening with Halsin, both of you basking in the joy of seeing friends and allies together again. It was a rare chance to relax, to celebrate the life you had built after the chaos.
Halsin was soon drawn into a conversation about the orphans you and he had taken in. A circle of the more compassionate companions had gathered around him, captivated as he spoke about the childrenâs growth, their joy, and the home you were creating. His deep voice carried over the crowd, filled with pride and hope. You stood beside him for a time, sipping wine and listening, but your attention was eventually caught by a familiar sightâScratch wagging his tail and the owlbear, now fully grown, ambling nearby.
"Look at them," you murmured, already swaying slightly as the wine took hold. "Two perfect, fluffy creatures, and they need my attention."
With a mischievous smile, you slipped away, weaving your way through the crowd, wineglass in hand. By the time Halsin realized you were gone, you had already disappeared into a quieter part of the grove. He smiled to himself, fondly amused, and excused himself from the conversation.
âSheâs probably plotting something,â he said with a chuckle, following the faint sound of your voice.
It didnât take long to find you. Beneath a sprawling oak, you were sprawled on the grass, cuddling Scratch and the owlbear. You had an almost-empty bottle of wine in one hand, your other arm draped dramatically over the owlbearâs shoulders. Your cheeks were flushed, your hair a bit disheveled, and your voice carried through the night as you spoke with exaggerated fervor.
"Listen here, Scratch," you said, poking his nose gently with your finger. "And you, too," you added, pointing to the owlbear, who blinked at you with wide, curious eyes. "Youâre coming home with me. No arguments. Itâs decided. Weâre a family now."
Scratch barked happily, his tail thumping against the ground. The owlbear hooted softly, tilting its head as if contemplating your declaration.
You nodded solemnly, taking another swig of wine.
"Halsin might say no, but donât you worry." You leaned in close, your voice dropping into a conspiratorial whisper that was anything but quiet. "I have my ways of convincing him. Very persuasive ways." You wiggled your eyebrows in an exaggerated manner, giggling at your own implication.
Then, as if struck by the sheer emotional gravity of the moment, your voice wavered, and tears welled up in your eyes.
"But if that doesnât work," you said, your words thick with feeling, "Iâll just cry! Like this!" You dramatically buried your face into Scratchâs fur, letting out a loud, theatrical sob.
From the shadows, Halsin watched, arms crossed, a bemused smile playing on his lips. Finally, he stepped forward, his voice warm and steady. âTears, my heart, will not be necessary.â
You froze, your head snapping up to look at him with wide, tear-filled eyes.
"Halsin!" you exclaimed, scrambling to sit up and almost tipping over in the process. "When did you get here?"
"Not long ago," he replied, crouching down beside you. "Long enough to hear your⊠strategy."
You waved the bottle in his direction, sloshing a bit of wine onto the grass.
"Itâs a good strategy," you insisted, pointing at him with exaggerated authority. "Very effective."
Halsin chuckled, his large hand brushing a strand of hair from your face.
"Iâm sure it is," he said indulgently. "But I assure you, no convincing is necessary."
âWhat about the other thing?â you asked, your voice dropping into a clumsy attempt at sultriness that only made Halsin laugh more.
âWhen youâre sober,â he said, his eyes twinkling with amusement.
You turned back to Scratch and the owlbear, lowering your voice to a loud whisper. âSee? I told you it would work. He may be Daddy Halsin, but we all know who the real daddy is.â
Halsinâs brows shot up, a deep laugh rumbling from his chest. âDo we now?â he asked, scooping you into his arms with practiced ease.
You clung to him, your head resting against his broad chest as you continued to mumble incoherently about your master plan.
"Fluffy family forever," you declared, nuzzling into his tunic.
Scratch barked again, wagging his tail enthusiastically, while the owlbear lumbered after you both. Halsin shook his head fondly, his smile softening as he looked down at you.
âYou are a marvel,â he said, pressing a kiss to your temple.
As he carried you back toward the heart of the party, you sighed contentedly, your arms tightening around his neck.
âYouâre the best, Halsin,â you murmured, your words slurring but full of affection. âThe absolute best.â
âAnd you,â he replied, his voice low and full of warmth, âare an utter wonder.â
I hope you guys enjoyed this, I worked quite hard on it and it was quite a good distraction. Love you all - Seluney xox
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