#his cactus his attention his heart his home his love

[astrowarr]

the fact that after gem, impulse, bdubs, and pearl killed scar, they chased him for so long trying to get him to stop and read the book, begging him to listen. but he just kept running, didn't even look back, let their pleas wash fall on his deaf ears.

he didn't stop until he saw grian. grian, with despair in his eyes as he kept shifting away from scar in fear. scar stopped running— I imagine he felt relief, even, because grian was there, he was there.

scar didn't listen until it was grian. grian, with furrowed brows, telling him to stop, telling him he couldn't be here. he wasn't welcome anymore. god, it's insane to me

scar has spent this entire season running, and yet every time grian calls his name, he can't help but turn and look. even as death nips at his heels, when grian's eyes are on him, the noise clears. even if it's the words grian loves to say to him: leave, scar. you can't be here, scar.

scar turned around after that and left, because he just can't stop bending to grian's will, and isn't that something?

[imagining-in-the-margins]

A Desert Bloom (S.R.)

Summary: Reader has never liked cacti. Spencer finally finds out why. A/N: Written for a very dear friend of mine, and anyone else who might need it. Couple: Spencer Reid/GN!Reader Category: Comfort/Fluff Content Warning: Complicated maternal relationship, minor self-deprecation, implied parental abuse Word Count: 875

MASTERLIST

Having grown up in Nevada, Spencer had always been both put-off and fascinated by the plant stores on the East Coast. While the wide array of colors was breathtaking in its own right, it felt foreign and slightly overwhelming to him.

But when you’d asked him to come with you to pick out a housewarming plant for your first apartment together — so sweetly and with those eyes that made him speechless — he couldn’t say no. He could, however, make a beeline straight to the plants that reminded him of home.

Spencer had known that you were not particularly fond of cacti, but he hadn’t ever asked you why. It seemed like the kind of story that you would share when you were ready.

And that day, you were.

“Why do you like succulents so much?” you asked with your nose slightly crinkled.

“I think they’re funny little things,” he answered with a chuckle under his breath. “The peak of evolution if you ask me.”

“Oh,” you grumbled. You said nothing else.

But Spencer could see in the way your body shifted but failed to really move away that you’d wanted him to say more.

He just didn’t know what, so he asked, “Why don’t you?”

“I don’t dislike them,” you corrected. It was not convincing enough for you, so you tried to explain, “We just… have a complicated relationship.”

Spencer laughed a little, and so did you. But after the noise died down, you continued with a softer voice.

“My mom used to always say they reminded her of me.”

Spencer’s heart sunk in his chest before you’d even had a chance to explain. He knew what was coming and he knew that he was about 20 years too late to fix it.

“She said they were just like me. Difficult.”

Like the cactus in front of them, Spencer bristled. His jaw and his hands tensed at first. Slowly, he released the tension to gently hold a leaf from a burro’s tail without causing it to fall.

With a dark, unamused tone, Spencer grumbled, “The fact that’s what she sees when she looks at desert plants tells me all I need to know about her.”

It had made so much sense to him that he had forgotten to explain. You were used to that, though, so you just asked, “What do you mean?”

“I mean, cacti are one of the most resilient plants in the world. They aren’t hard to deal with, most people love them specifically for their resilience.”

You caught the two words he’d been emphasized the hardest.

“Most people?”

“Well, I personally think those people are wrong,” he said with finality.

“How are they wrong?”

Again, you sought the answer you craved. The real reason why Spencer loved cacti. Perhaps, if you could understand why he was drawn to a plant that had warnings plastered across every inch of its surface, maybe — just maybe — you might understand him better.

Maybe you would finally understand why he’d decided to love you despite the difficulty.

“Sure, a cactus can live in awful conditions, but that’s…” he paused. He swallowed the lump in his throat and blinked away the small tears pooling at his eyelashes, “That’s not how you get them to bloom.”

You said nothing. He continued.

“The people who think they can just do whatever they want and the cactus will survive it, well… they just don’t want to pay attention to shriveled leaves and the rotting roots.”

Each word felt like a prick. You could feel the spines of a cactus reaching out from your heart. They broke through the drought inside of your chest like they had finally found the safety they sought. You wanted to scream, to shout, to say anything at all. You wanted to defend the cactus that was just trying to find a way to make it to the next rainfall.

But Spencer had already known.

“They’re the problem, not the cactus.”

You didn’t even notice you were crying until a tear fell from your chin. Spencer turned away from his reminder of his home and held you, instead. He sheltered you from the world as you released the excess water that the world had drowned you in. Then, when you were ready, he followed you to the plant you’d picked.

That afternoon, as you played with the soft petals of the orchid, Spencer was not interested in looking at the finicky, albeit ornate, plant that you’d picked. Instead, his eyes settled on the most beautiful thing in the room.

Spencer thought about how he’d learned at a very young age that if you treat a cactus right, if you take the time to learn its language and help curate a space for it to grow, it will grow, and it will bloom.

He looked at you. He looked at your tentative smile peeking through the landscape of your new home. He looked at you while you recognized yourself in the softness of a flower. Spencer looked at you above any other beautiful thing that might try to call to him.

He would always look at you because he had always been particularly fond of the desert bloom.

(Tell me what you thought about this piece here!)

P.S. Did you know Tumblr might be hiding some of my posts from you? Learn how to change this setting here so you can enjoy my more scandalous works (if you want), including my most recent one, which can be found here.

[lunar-years]

goofy headcanon q: what do you think the ot3 would do for each other's bdays?

Ohh I love this question, thanks for asking!

I think Roy is not quite as good of a baker as he is a cook BUT he gets really into learning/experimenting with baking with Simon's help. So for each of their birthdays he really goes all out making them a nice meal and putting together a special cake. Roy is also a BIG sappy romantic at heart so I just know he makes it candlelit and orders up a shit ton of roses to scatter about tastefully and dresses up in a suit (because Jamie and Keeley both go weak at the knees for Roy in a suit) with his best cologne on and serves fancy pre-dinner cocktails etc. etc. It's all very classic and romantic.

For Roy's birthday, Jamie and Keeley aren't quite so ambitious that they think they can tackle both dinner and dessert, but they do work together (and phone Simon for backup when needed) to make their own attempt at a special cake. They take him to one of his favorite restaurants and then bring him home for the cake.

Keeley is arts n crafty and likes doing up the house with birthday decor. She enlists Phoebe help as well because Phoebe is also into that, and they make party hats and happy birthday banners and buy balloons and confetti. Keeley also wraps all of her own gifts and spends a LOT of time making them pretty. Then most of the time she gets too eager for them to know what she's bought them and ends up tearing into the packaging herself as she's handing it over (think of when she gave Rebecca that cactus or whatever, lmao)

Roy throws down a lot of money at designer shops to shower them in gifts because he loves spoiling his people, which they both eat the hell up ofc, but Jamie is ultimately the king of gift giving and most likely to gift them something that will make them Cry. He's just very thoughtful about his gifts and about choosing things that are very personal and meaningful. Few things make him more pleased than getting an emotional reaction/seeing their approval. Jamie thinks getting a good grade in Gift is something that is both normal to want and possible to achieve. 👍

Most years they all get multiple birthday celebrations, because they like to celebrate just the three of them, and then Phoebe and her mum always host a separate celebration for each of them. When they can fit it within their schedules, Roy and Keeley arrange for Georgie and Simon to come down or else plan a surprise visit to Manchester for Jamie so he can celebrate with them, too. For the big milestone birthdays they throw parties with their friends and families in attendance (like, for Keeley's 40th they recruit Rebecca and throw a HUGE fancy bash at a gorgeous London venue and buy her an new outfit and make it a big, fun surprise. For Roy's 50th they do a much smaller affair that's more intimate with just Roy's closest friends, and they fly in Ted for the surprise.)

also, lots of birthday sex. new lingerie (regardless of whether she is the recipient or the giftee, Keeley is getting special birthday lingerie DUH. Often Jamie too!) lots of scheming between the other two on how best to rile up the birthday girl/boy and lots of doting attention. good times had by all 🥰

[the-witchs-cafe]

Giuseppe, the ghost witch with a welcoming nature, a witch who tried to escape his personal fate only to discover that his fate was chosen for him by his mother, he greets those lost and alone in their miserable states and welcomes them to stay in his hotel though his familiars kill them,

From my Gregory horror show madoka magica crossover (Gregory magica show)

Gregory is a magical boy who wished to help others with their sorrows by giving them home to live in and so it’s resulted in Gregory home being able to appear across time but his mother forces him to use his magic “ teleportation” to kill and collect grief seeds, and after his son asked him to babysit his son and by that Gregory grandson James, Gregory uses himself as a shield for him, he is already a witch by then the “Gregory” we see is an familiar called eros. His soul gem is in the shape of a keyhole and is purple in color and located on his right hand. Weapon, Winchester rifle.

James is a magical boy who wished for his father and grandfather to have a well earned relaxation from their works, due to his great grandmother causing his grandfather to witched out is secretly working with the staff and residents to kill her and his grandfather his magic is “trick as he can create bombs in the forms of jack in the boxes” soul gem is in the shape of a jester head and is located on his bow tie, weapon chainsaw.

Hell’s chef is a magical boy who wished for people to finally respect him as a chef, met gregory when he was hunting a witch, and agreed to work for him as the head cook of the hotel, is a tsundere who secretly enjoys the lunch boxes made by Catherine and those attempts at cooking by either the kids or residents, hates smoking, has babysit James before and knows the reason he acts like that is to get his grandpa’s attention, magic “ burning, control only heat” soul gem is a candle on scarf, weapon the large knife he carries around.

Catherine is a magical girl who wished for a man to love, met gregory when he actually went to a hospital as his wife is discovered to be having a baby and was worried for her, agrees to work as a doctor at the hotel, still has the fetishized obsession with blood but tone it down due to the children, has a crush on chef and is a very good cook, magic “ healing” soul gem in the shape of a heart and is located on where is the heart is, weapon the giant needle she carries around also many different needles in different sizes and shapes.

Cactus gunman is a magical boy who wished to bring justice back to his hometown but failed to bring justice and was forced to flee with his little sister after their entire family was killed, met Gregory who was traveling to find a gardener and was mugged by them but gregory was able to tell what happened and took them in with cactus gunman being hired as a gardener, treats lost doll as a little sister and is also a surprisingly good older brother figure to the other children who live in the hotel, very overprotective of his sister due to what happened, hopeless romantic, soul gem is in the shape of a flower and is on sombrero, magic “sand control” weapon his guns but is know for his bad aim but can hit targets very well.

The judgement boys and gold are all magical boys who all wished to be great lawyers, Gregory honestly has no clue why he hired them to be security guards but because their magic “lie detectors” he honestly has singed and hummed their jingles, gold has honestly been in trouble with gregory for judging James after he stole a cake for lost doll but she knew and wanted Gregory to have something nice due to stress, soul gems a heart and dollar inside a cage, weapons chains.

Neko zombie is a magical boy who wished to get revenge, but finds out about the trauma Gregory suffered from, work unofficially as a bellhop, loves chocolates and it’s variants, has eaten familiar and witch flesh before it tasted like garbage, James has given the bellhop job to him due to being Gregory’s grandson but James’s dad is the one who would inherit the business, magic “rotting” soul gem is a cat’s paw print on spine, weapon is a executioner axe.

Cactus girl is a magical girl who wished for her brother’s rebellion to win, it lost and was forced to leave and be an outlaw, thanks to Gregory she works as a nurse with Catherine, she treats lost doll like a little sister who needs to be protected, magic ” is dust devils” soul gem in the shape of a trefoil and is located on belt, weapons lassos.

Lost doll is a magical girl who wished to find someone to take care of her due to her parents mistreatment of her, Katie is protective of her, has a massive doll collection, magic “puppetry” soul gem doll bottle of her hat, lacks a weapon as it her magic.

Roulette boy is a magical boy who wished for friends to play games with, found by James, scared Gregory once, loves pudding and after finishing dinner has a pudding after but sometimes before dinner, chef and Catherine’s adopted son, magic “luck” soul gem is a roulette wheel on left legs, weapon is his luck magic. Unofficially works as a parlor tricks and game show host.

The others are magical boys and girls who wished for happiness and selfishness, honestly they each have a job as bonsai kabuki works as a kabuki performer, the mummy family magic is poison antidotes, my son is surprisingly good friends with James as they have crushes on eachother, some how once they manage to get gregory to allow them to watch spongebob, multiple tv fish are floating around the hotel as televisions for the others.

James’s father George runs a diner and hotel and is quite close to his father after his mother died from Gregory’s mother.

The guest are understandably concerned and impressed by the magical boys and girls and they distrust kyubey

Gregory mama would be killed by the the witch

Thanks to madoka, Gregory doesn’t witch out, James here is actually a really good kid who was raised right he just acted the way he did is to get his grandpa’s attention due to him being busy a lot of the time.

Currently nonverbal, but, though I know very little of GHS, I must say that I love how detailed this is- amazing work here!!

[lettersfromahopelessromantic]

“Finish them,” she scrawls on the weapon.

Them. A colorful people whose souls are alight with hope for a powerful future. “A just peace, not just a piece.” When the bulldozers come and their villages are razed to the ground, they stay. Their existence is a powerful resistance. They are cactus roots that are impossible to ever fully pull up, as steady as the olive trees that have been tended by their patient hands for generations. 

Them. Jesus was one of them. Brown-skinned, born in a manger in the Occupied West Bank. His family fled from a genocide on a donkey, downtrodden and fearful. He flipped the tables of injustice; he didn’t obliterate them. “Let the little children come to me,” he said. Their little children are scared. Orphans. Starving. 

I am guilt, sympathy, and empty words. I am hopeful and hopelessness coexisting. I have no wise words to bandaid a wound that has festered for more than 76 years. I am not equipped to comprehend, and I have never loved my home and community enough to die for it. But I have heard the wail of a father as he holds his lifeless, headless baby boy on Instagram. I have seen their livestreams, their pleas, their crowdfunding videos on TikTok— “PLEASE DON’T SCROLL”—to ask for one minute of my attention in this dystopia. Enough.

You arm your worldview with a twisted biblical narrative. Your thirst for Heaven has you encouraging Hell on Earth. I’ve traced the veins of your gospel, and its heart is not beating. I am suffocating in the presence of your Jesus. I want no part of your Savior who dazzles with his military might, his muscled arms firing armaments destined for a besieged city that is 40% children. As if the annihilation of God’s children is all justified by a few Bible verses taken out of context. If we cannot—and will not— see God in the faces of our Muslim brothers and sisters, have we not missed the point entirely?

Them. Palestinians. A colorful people whose souls are alight with hope for a powerful future. We must act. For injustice against them is a threat to justice everywhere. Our humanity shrivels, sputters, and chokes. 

[campmurderparty]

sonny & dottie.

Did he feel his heart skip a beat when she smiled? No, that was stupid and cheesy. He should have slapped himself for thinking such a thing, no self-respecting man would think that, but it didn’t stop the warmth in his stomach from seeing dottie. Not just warmth, but excitement. Sonny had hung around bj’s like one of the bucking horses’ most loyal barflies, just waiting for her to return. No, he wasn’t a barfly, he was a dog. He had been Katie's dog for years, and probably would’ve been Kim's if she hadn’t inexplicably dumped him in high school. All the women that he liked in his whole life saw his desperation on his face, a longing to be loved, and used it for their own amusement. Twisted him and pulled him. Did dottie see it? Did she take one look at him and know he was willing to do anything for her, just for a moment of her attention? He made himself sick.

Their inside joke was bare bones, but it was one nonetheless. Sonny felt himself relax a bit at the comfortable rhythm of flirting with a pretty girl. “Well, once an outlaw…” Sonny trailed off, smirking with familiarity. It felt like they were criminals in a way, meeting only at night. Was she a night owl? Sonny had the pleasure of being a second shift worker, but he wasn’t aware if dottie snagged herself a boot hill job yet. Somehow, mostly without anyone ever noticing, newcomers went from travelers on the way to somewhere better to another shopper in the amen grocery market or diner at the florita cantina; they went from guests of the copper cactus motel to becoming a new neighbor on laguna street or the new tenant at the silver spurs apartment complex. Eventually, it was like they were never new at all, as if they had always been there.

“I do, yeah.” Sonny felt around his pockets for a lighter. Like any boot hill boy, he had been smoking cigarettes since he was twelve, at first stealing them from fearghas’ stash and then having brian buy a pack for him as long as sonny was willing to pay at a jacked up price. Once he was old enough, it was his turn to buy them for cian. Pulling a neon green one from his jeans, he proffered it with an open palm. “...as long as you give one to me.” He had his own pack somewhere in his truck, but that was parked across the street behind the saloon. Plus, he was curious as to what brand she smoked—hopefully not virginia slims, like his mother. The mention of midol made his thoughts blank out for a second. He had grown up in a family of men; the macclean women didn’t fare very well, evident in his mother’s catatonia and eileen’s mysterious disappearance. Everyone feared what fate had in mind for the youngest girl, isla. Though her candor surprised him, he didn’t make any sort of verbal or visual reaction to it. Luckily, dottie quickly moved on. “The moonlite closed about an hour ago, but they’ll let you in if you don’t have a car. You just have to sit in folding chairs by the snack hut.” sonny had a truck, though…

If the mention of midol stole his thoughts, the offer to join her for waffles at the diner arrested his heart. “Oh, just my kid brother.” the only one he had that was younger than him, so that gave cian special reverence in his heart. Cian and isla, the only maccleans below him in the family line, were the forgotten kids, so their care fell to sonny growing up. His mother, Bedelia, had practically been in a fugue state since eileen disappeared, and his father was always drunk. There was no one else around to take care of cian and isla, as their older brothers had their own families or were wrapped up in their own bullshit. So even though Sonny moved out from the family home years ago, it had been Sonny who woke them up for school and packed their lunch boxes. Now, isla was the only one still in school, and cian was a minimum wage slacker just like sonny. They didn’t need him anymore, which was a relief and a regret, but he still gave them rides when needed. It wouldn’t be out of the realm of possibility for him to pick his brother up after work, it was a suitable excuse. Forget that now, though. Even if he did promise to give his brother a ride, dottie’s offer would’ve trumped those plans. “Cian can walk.” sonny said all too quickly, nodding fervently. 

“The turquoise star doesn’t open for two more hours, I think.” He knew, but he didn’t want to seem too eager to profess he knew the operating hours of the businesses in boot hill. “Neither does may’s, but i’ve been ‘temporarily banned from the premises pending review’ for, like, three years now.” sonny rolled his eyes. Kim refused to serve him, but bev, her hated coworker, was always willing to let him have a seat at the counter. It just took a certain mood for him to be able to withstand seeing kimimela and dealing with her endless coldness—as if she wasn’t the one to dump him! Most of the time, he haunted the turquoise star where the waitressing duo, Joey and Margie, were always happy to see him. “I’m willing to wait, though.” shit, that was too eager. “I mean, I'll be awake anyway.”

[carolap53]

December 19, 2022

You’re Never Too Much for God JODI HARRIS

Lee en

español

“Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these … will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?” Matthew 6:28b-30 (NKJV)

I’m so angry! I cry out to God. My chest tightens as I clutch the couch pillow.

Anger is the outside armor protecting my tender heart from the rejection I feel beneath. I want to be closer to my loved one, but fear tells me I’m just too much for them.

My lament to God continues: It’s like I’m this rose, but they see me as a cactus. So they give me the attention a cactus requires: not much. But a rose needs more. It needs shade and sun in the right amounts; it has thorns that need navigating, soil that needs nutrients and water, dead branches that need pruning.

In other words, I realize midprayer, roses are high maintenance, and so am I. Sigh. I can see that. It is a lot.

I am a lot.

As I sit in silence, listening for the Holy Spirit, I envision Him as the One who loves me just as I am. Oh, Lord, help me release my loved one from fulfilling a role that isn’t theirs but Yours.

God brings to mind an image of my yard full of blooming roses bursting with color, planted by previous owners years ago. They’ve never bloomed like this since we’ve lived here … until this spring. I was so taken by them — the pinks, yellows, whites, lavenders, peaches and reds in various shapes and sizes.

God, why this? I wonder. Then I feel Him speak these words tenderly to my heart:

My beloved daughter, look at those roses I have nurtured and brought to full bloom! See how I care for them exactly as they need to flourish. If I can create and nurture a gorgeous garden of roses for you to enjoy, I can nurture you just the same.

Your longing to be valued as you are is only fulfilled in Me. You are never too much for Me! I created you and will nurture you perfectly so you will flourish, but you have to come to Me. You cannot put that burden or role on anyone else. I’m the only One who knows you fully and can meet your needs. Will you let Me?

This gentle voice of God sounds a lot like the one that taught the people on a hillside long ago:

“Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these … will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?” (Matthew 6:28-30).

Those words from Jesus in Scripture jump off the page and into my heart and life as I experience them firsthand. I am not too much for God. I am deeply valued and loved just as I am.

In the days following, I wander through my yard, soaking in God’s constant reminder that He not only cares for the roses surrounding my home but also the rose inside.

Father God, thank You for the all-around-us reminders You use to speak to us that You are here, loving and nurturing us exactly as we need so we can flourish! In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - Lots of rings exchanged

Aug 2022 Wk 2

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs. Organized by which ones (in each category) I’m enjoying the most.

Ongoing Series - Thai

The Eclipse (Fri YT) Ep 1 of 15 - Oh it’s good. BL does Blacklist with a good boy/bad boy pairing (paladin/rogue). F&K have great chemistry right off the bat. And it’s so nice to have GMMTV’s production values on 2 BLs, even if they flipped the levels on the music/dialogue tracks in this ep (qua?). Did you SEE what was inside the cursed flower pot? A baby cactus! 

Vice Versa (Sat on YT) Ep 5 of 12 - Gun appearing as Third was very meta of you GMMTV. I see what you did there. Ooo. Cohabitation trope! I was wondering about the pacing with this one, but they have self corrected with a new core trope. Nice. *sits up, pays attention* It’s engaging and never drags, gotta give them that. 

21 Days Theory (Sun YT ) Ep 1 of 8 - I am loving this high school Love Sick revisit, BLUE SHORTS in spades. Yay! 

Coffee Melody (Mon Viki) Ep 4 of 10 - Well, that relationship moved into the sack quickly. I like it, it seems sort of mature and normal than most BL. They are cute and smiley and sweet together. I also think this BL is honestly dealling with mutually hurt. Pleng Ruk says it’s too soon. But also he doesn’t get to act like a boyfriend if he isn’t one. Duen Yi only wants what he wants and isn’t thinking about the consequences. On a different note: The pink hair thing is hilarious: we can see which days different recordings were done and which ones were pickups by how faded the pink is and roots showing. I’m still skipping all of the band stuff which means I’m only watching about half of the show, just the cafe bits. So maybe you shouldn’t take my opinions to heart. But then you should never take my opinions to heart.

Love Mechanics (Sun WeTV) Ep 8 of 10 - I like the insight into Mark‘s home life. That sullen iciness comes from Daddy. I like Mark’s ex-boyfriend too, but then I liked him in the original. I like how miserable Vee got. Yin & War are terrific little actors. It’s hard not to get mad at the messy, but when it’s performed this good, it’s fun to wallow in mutual agony. 

Unforgotten Night (Weds on GaGa) Ep 8 of 12 Neither as bad nor as good as it could be. Shrug. TRASH WATCH IS HERE!

Check Out (Sat IQIYI) Ep 10 of 12 - Honestly the leads are a good pair. I’m sad they didn't get a better script. It’s Tuxedo all over again. But I LOVED that they gave Tee a new boy!

My Secret Love (Sat YT) Ep 11 of 12 - The domesticity with the side couples is really engaging, sex scenes were descent, but that’s it. However there was a probubly verse couple. The main couple is a little better after the time jump, mostly because Mek in now understandably arrogant. I guess. 

My Only 12% (Fri iQIYI) Ep 1 of 15 - It’s a pretty classic friends to lovers jock/nerd set up with neighbors & codependency to get us started and high school. I am actually MIR mixed with Bad Buddy (same author) vibes from this. I like it, Santa & Earth do great at this character dynamic. Seeing Peak back in shorts is a TRIP. Also we’re starting to get that thing where an actor will be in multiple BL‘s airing at the same time (waves at Benz). Also a trip. Awe PREM! I didn’t know he was in this. Wabi Sabi bringing out the BIG GUNS.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Minato Shouji Coin Laundry (Japan Weds GaGa) Ep 7 of 12 I keep saying next week is gonna hurt, but I’m not saying that this time because they keep delaying the crisis point. Not that the pacing is off, it’s keeping me intersted, just that Japan is too unpredictable. Especially when handed and unprecedented 12 eps. But Shin did finally turn 18 and make his intentions crystal clear. - SQUEE WATCH ALONG  

Papa & Daddy 2 (Mon GaGa) Ep 1-2 of 8 - Honestly I didn’t expect to like this. I don’t have a good history with 2nd seasons, and Taiwan really likes to make a soap opera out of their queers. Witness that this one starts with a secret baby trope. (Or in this case a secret teenage son trope?) There’s a lot of lying to each other and evil parents. (Why are parent characters always so terrible in Chinese dramas?) And of course I already have a crush on the pining chef - 2nd lead syndrome strikes again. Who wouldn’t? I like the new actor playing Jerry (he reminds me of Nunew from Cutie Pie) but his chemistry with his co-star isn’t as good. I LOVE THE DOMESTICITY. 

Want to See You (Vietnam YT) Ep 12 - Vietnam is doing time jumps in later eps now? Everyone just stop it! Also this is an interesting way to enact the amnesia trope, but it’s still the amnesia trope! This turned out not to be the final ep, who knows what will be? Frankly they handled the time jump OK, it’s nice to see the characters having changed and matured (or not) and how this reflects on each other. Still I am mostly annoyed but the tropes. 

Senpai, Danjite Koidewa! (Japan Fri Viki) Ep 8fin - It was cute in the very end, and all about courage. Kaneda’s mainly. But Japan’s weird hang-up around physical expressions of affection in BL which I expect in their slapstick high school stuff, feels cowardly here. They don't leave out end kisses in their het office romances anymore, time to stop desexualizing the gays, too. For a plot about courage, it’s a bummer that the narrative itself didn’t have any. I can’t imagine ever watching this show again or remembering its existence. When Japan drops the balls they drop all the way to the bottom of the well. 6/10 NOT REALLY RECOMMENDED 

Lots of rings exchanged this week. Most form the worst possible, least communicating couples. I would like to remind everyone that marriage is not a way to “fix it to a bad relationship,” it just makes everything worse. Like children. 

In Case You Missed It

Work From Heart a Thai BL from DV8 for WeTV starts Aug 25 trailer here. An office romcom featuring lots of other couples, starring Love With Benefits pair Gameplay & Folk.

Japan bringing us More Than Words, 10 eps for Amazon Prime JP Sept 16,  no trailer, no word on international distribution, premiere on adaptation of Etsuko’s two mangas "In The Apartment" and "More Than Words", starring Ryōko Fujino (Fujoshi, Ukkari Gei ni Kokuru), Yuzu Aoki (Kakafukaka), Daisuke Nakagawa (Colorful Love), and Daiki Kanechika (EXIT comedian). 

Honestly my money was on Viki winning his one, but happy to see it’s going to GaGa! Takara-kun and Amagi-kun from the same studio as Mr Unlucky and Senpai, so expect that style. A popular guy and an outcast boy start dating in secret. Stars Jpop Idols Arata Sato (IMPACTors) and Nao Oriyama (Shonen Ninja).

Gossip

Thai y-novel by Prang “2 Worlds” is getting an adaptation. 

GMMTV is bring us something they didn’t announce at the beginning of the year, Oishi Magic Of Zero, starring EarthMix. They are play the same roles (Win & Korn) as in Cupid's Last Wish, to start (drop?) Sept 25 on YouTube! So this might just be a special or....? This is a sponsored series of one shot specials/adverts featuring exiting characters like Our Skyy. The first one was InkPa from Bad Buddy. Which I have yet to watch. (see comments) 

Strongberry (our favorite production house from Korea) officially introduced 3 actors (fresh faces) for their upcoming FULL LENGTH romcom BL  “#사랑은댕냥댕냥” basically “love is dang dang dang” but roughly means Love is Love actually means “love is a cat and a dog.” (see ask in feed) Guess at run time is 1.5hr, so normal KBL length. Still casting final lead. About a boy who lives alone after losing his parents who works part-time in his Uncle's shop. One day, 2 strangers appearing claiming they are reincarnations of his childhood pets (a cat and a a dog).

Korea’s Able Casting Agency posted an actor search for a character for an upcoming BL Two Game Over. That’s the first we’ve all heard of it. 

Korea is ALL in on that A Shoulder To Cry On BL starring two members of the same group, OMEGA X (Jaehan & Yechan). Why? Well its schedueld to release mid Sept AND OMEGA X with sing the OST. Ho boy. 

Next Week Looks Like This:

We ramping back up again, that summer lull was short and full of JBL. 

Starting & Ending: Tomorrow, Monday Aug 15th, 180 Degree Longitude Passes Through Us (trailer) on GaGa. But I’m not sure it’s BL. Takara-kun and Amagi-kun starts on GaGa this Friday. Love in the Air Mame’s next offering via Me Mindy is supposed to start on the 19th on YT. Unless it whips into a verbal frenzy, I won’t do a trash watch (I already have 2 going right now). Love Mechanics & My Secret Love both end. Thank fuck. 

This week’s best moments?

Why did no one tell me the side couple in Oh My Sunshine features the actor who played Bbomb in Nitiman? Now I may have to watch for them. Grumble. I blame all ya’all. 

Well that side couple came out of nowhere! But still YAY Check Out, we like it. 

Back hugs! 

(last week) 

[alexaplaysgames]

Request: “Could you write something in which the mc is starting to develop feelings for Felix but denies them constantly/tries not to confess or accept them as a reality because they fear what would follow if and when they happen to go back to earth later...?”

Here you are! I literally have to fight myself to keep from making every dramatic moment occur at sunset on a grassy plain. This time, I lost. Sorry for the wait, I’ve hated my writing recently. Thought I don’t love this, either, I hope you enjoy it :) I changed to first person for this cause my brain is Like That.

Title: Did you Really Mean it?

Pairing: Felix Escellun x GN!MC (Last Legacy)

Words: 2484

Tags: @demon-paradise @themohawkhelmet @cactus-hoodie @aomiyeon @piningmaybeanartist @another-confused-gay @uselessbeanies @nomnomcupcakesworld @druwuuwu @frozen-daydream @kirakiratears @margitartist @crowtrinkets @fanfic-about-fictif Please let me know if you would like to be added or removed.

The first time, he had been quick to dismiss it.

Felix had asked for your help reaching one of the taller shelves of the library. He claimed he needed access to one of the books, strictly for academic purposes, of course, but you’d judged by the sight of his rosy cheeks that he more so just wanted you to touch him.

Nonetheless, you had risen from your comfortable position on the sofa and accompanied him without complaint, teasing him all the while about his short stature. When you’d pinched his flushed cheek, he’d rolled his eyes with a groan, hoping you didn’t see the goosebumps that had spread across his skin at your touch.

Standing in front of the shelves, you’d wrapped your arms around his waist. This seemed most sensible, rather than vice versa, given how he knew which book to look for. You’d felt Felix’s breath leave him in a rush as your arms slid around him, his ribs contract as he exhaled. He’d shivered as your fingers brushed the bare skin near his hips where his shirt had ridden up.

Yet, he had leaned back into you as if he didn’t want you to let him go. You swallowed. That is what made this so difficult, you thought. You didn’t want to let him go, either. You simply knew that you would have to.

It was surprisingly effortless to lift him to reach one of the dust-covered titles a few shelves above your heads. As Felix had pulled the book off the shelf, a thick layer of dust had been dislodged with it. He’d sneezed, and the force of it made you stumble. 

You’d fallen back onto the cushy carpet below with a gasp, Felix landing slightly on top of you with a startled yelp.

“Ouch,” you’d mumbled, rubbing your head, and then burst into laughter at the ridiculousness of it all. 

“S-sorry,” Felix stammered. He looked quite abashed. You’d only shaken your head with a fond sigh and reached up to tuck his hair behind his ear.

Felix’s breath had hitched at that, his eyes going saucer wide. You dropped your hand as if he’d burnt you. Only now did you realize how close your faces were. You could count every one of his eyelashes, this close, feel the heat of his breath. His gaze briefly flitted towards your parted lips, laden with desire.

“We should get up, now.” Your smile had turned a little tense, which Felix noticed. You’d looked as if you wanted to push him off. 

He winced. “R-right. Yes, of course.”

When you’d stood and parted ways, he couldn’t help but feel the slight sting of rejection. He clutched the book to his chest as he watched you walk away. 

Perhaps he was over-thinking things.

✦✧✦✧

The next time, however, he was certain something was wrong. 

You’d been quite clearly avoiding him as of late, skirting around his company with flimsily construed excuses that you were much too busy to see him.

Felix didn’t mind. Being on his own was something he’d grown to find familiar, if not enjoyable. He told himself that it was reasonable for you to wish to spend some time apart from him, and while a part of him believed that, another part wondered why he wasn’t good enough to hold your attention. 

You used to adore him. He could still feel your fingers in his hair, your hands on his skin. At what point did he begin to bore you? Had all your comments of accepting him for who he was served only to pacify his childish, moody self? Did you mean none of it at all? 

It certainly felt that way.

Then, one evening, you’d told him you were going out to a tavern with Sage. Though you’d invited him to join you, he’d declined, partially due to his being a lightweight, but also the fact that he wasn’t certain whether you truly wished to see him at all.

Yet, hours later, when you still hadn’t returned, Felix’s stomach churned with worry. He was torn between going to you and offering you the space you so clearly craved. 

With a sigh, he’d wrapped a cloak around his shoulders and set off to find you. He simply wanted to make sure you were alright, that was all. It needn’t be more complicated than that.

You were seated in a booth in one of the local establishments, Sage at your side. He could smell the alcohol on your breath the moment you drew near. “Felix, my sweet!” you’d laughed as you saw him, wrapping your arms around his shoulders. Felix frowned at the pet name. He’d almost forgotten that you used to calm him that. 

He had closed his eyes at your touch, melted into the familiar warmth of it. Then you’d frozen, looked up at him with cloudy eyes, and proclaimed that you were leaving. 

Felix blinked at you in astonishment. “What?” 

You had offered him no reply. 

Felix had followed you as you stumbled slightly out the doors and into the darkened streets. He himself had often taken to midnight walks through the city, knowing that he had the means to protect himself. You, however, had no such training. 

You’d tripped over your feet as you walked, intoxicated, through the cobblestone streets. Felix grabbed you elbow and spun you to face him.

“Stop this- this tomfoolery,” he gasped. “You’re going to maim yourself!”

“Leave me be, Felix,” you’d pouted, your words dangerously slurred. “I can’t- I don’t want to see you right now.”

Felix’s breath caught; your words sunk through his skin and settled as an ache in his chest. Yet, before he could say anything in reply, you stumbled again. He pulled you against his side to keep you from falling over, slinging one of your arms over his thin shoulders. 

Felix is many things, but strong is not one of them- you nearly broke his slight frame with your weight, and he panted while he struggled to hold you. Nonetheless, he managed to guide you through the streets to the nearest inn, conscious of your breath by his ear all the while. 

You’d flopped down onto the worn sheets of the bed Felix rented, your hair haloed around your head. The young necromancer’s heart hurt as he watched you, until you’d grabbed his hand and pulled him onto the bed at your side.

“Kiss me,” you begged, the heady scent of brandy curling around the words, and conflict waged war across Felix’s delicate features. “Kiss me, Felix, this might be the last time you get the chance.”

Felix’s grey eyes welled with tears. “I- I can’t,” he choked, feverishly shaking his head against the sheets. Oh, he had wanted to, you knew it even through your haze. You saw how his eyes once more drew towards your lips before he tore them away.

“Then go,” you said simply, rolling away from him and onto your side. 

And he had. 

Felix wrapped his arms around himself as he walked home through the streets alone. 

✦✧✦✧

The third time hurt the most. 

“Are you two officially together, now?” Anisa had asked you one evening, and Felix had waited for your response with bated breath, tucked outside the doorway where he knew you couldn’t see him.

Until it finally came, and he wished he hadn’t. 

“No.” You said it with such finality, such certainty, he was sure you could hear his heart breaking, the sound of his panicked breaths. “Felix and I… I don’t think we’re a good fit.”

That was it, the final straw. He choked on a sob as he turned away, already feeling the hot rush of tears spilling from behind his closed eyelids. 

He had curled up in his study, face tucked into the worn couch, and cried into his elbows, cursing his own stupidly all the while. His tears soaked through the strands of his hair, ran down his face in rivulets, dripping off his chin. 

He was so delirious at that point that he allowed Stella to curl up next to him, even stroking his fingers through her soft, silky fur.

“W-why am I like this, Stella?” Felix mumbled, still sniffling around the remnants of his sobs. “It was idiotic of m-me, to think-” Felix flopped onto his back, wiping at his eyes. Then he groaned. “Goddess, and now here I am, conversing with you. A rather pitiful display.”

Stella, as expected, did not offer a reply, though her rumbling purr provided some comfort. 

Felix stared up at the ceiling until morning light streamed in through the windows, caught in a miserable state. He is accustomed to being alone- after all, his wasn’t the first time he had his heart broken by someone he was sure he was in love with.

This was the only time, however, that it cut him this deeply. Never had he felt such hurt before, not even in death. In fact, he was certain he preferred that dull, empty nothingness to this.

He sighed, tiredly letting his eyes flutter shut. Stella’s fur tickled his nose, and he whispered, “How you’ve ruined me, my dear barista.”

✦✧✦✧

Things were strained between the two of you from then on. Felix wouldn’t meet your eyes whenever you were near each other. You could tell, by the redness of his eyes, that he had been crying, though for what reason you couldn’t be sure.

He kept his distance, and you chastised yourself for missing him. This is what you wanted, wasn’t it? But you suddenly weren’t so certain. You stomach was slowly twisting into knots of guilt and longing.

You sat with Felix, sifting through more textbooks in an attempt to find a hint as to how to send you home. It served as a reminder, somewhat, as to why you had pushed him away, though as time passed the memory became fainter. You were instead focused on how Felix kept his eyes trained downwards, not once making a characteristically snide or snarky remark.

The silence and the tension stretched between the two of you until it snapped like a frayed string.

“Why?” Felix suddenly asked you, gasped it out as if it pained him. You’d met his eyes, though he still wouldn’t meet yours, his hands squeezed into fists in his lap.

“Why what?”

“Why did you turn me away?” he continued, his lower lip quivering. “I had hoped-” he trailed off, as if he couldn’t bring himself to finish the thought.

“I suppose it doesn’t matter,” Felix finished a moment later with a soft, self-deprecating laugh. “You deserve much better than m-me, of course. I was selfish to think otherwise.”

“Felix-”

But Felix was no longer listening, having slammed his textbooks shut and left your side with tears swimming in his stormy eyes, muttering under his breath about how stupid he had been, desperate to keep you from seeing what a mess he’d become.

You felt awful. You’d been so determined to quell the growth of your relationship that you’d disregarded Felix’s rather fragile sense of self worth. You’d absolutely crushed him, you thought regretfully, and for what? Perhaps what was between you couldn’t last, but you should’ve been grateful for the time with him you were given.

Hours passed. You’d searched the rest of the day for Felix, but you couldn’t find him. Not in his bedroom, his study, the library, not with Sage or Anisa- your necromancer had mysteriously vanished. 

Until you’d remembered one evening when he showed you one of his favourite places- a grassy hillside overlooking the sprawling city underneath. With the sun sinking over the horizon, you’d found him there, chin resting on his knees, pulled up to his chest. The wind whipped through his dark hair, cooling the streaks of tears on his reddened face. 

Felix looked back over his shoulder at your sudden appearance through one of his trademark portals, then buried his face in his arms with a low groan. 

“Felix, listen to me,” you whispered. Coming to sit beside him in the long grass, you gently wrapped your arms around his waist and pulled him into your side. You could feel him hiccup, feel him tremble against you.

You settled your chin on his shoulder as the both of you looked out over the world that had once been so foreign to you. The wind once more rippled through the sea of grass around you, the sun reflecting off each individual strand. As the sunlight slowly waned into a single strip, it touched the tips of the buildings below and lit them up like candles.

“I am so, so sorry, baby,” you said, “for making you feel that way. I was worried it would hurt, when I have to leave. I thought I was doing us both a favour by keeping us apart. You did nothing wrong, Felix, and you weren’t selfish.” You squeezed your eyes shut, feeling the dying sun warm your face. “I was.” 

“You weren’t-” came Felix’s muffled reply, quick to defend you as always. You shook your head, kissing the curve of his shoulder. 

“I was. I thought it would be best for both of us, but I was wrong. I missed you so much, you know. Every day, I always wanted to see you. But I didn’t, and I told myself that was for the best. It was stupid. I hurt us both.”

Felix exhaled. You could feel the tension melt off him in little waves as his shoulders slumped. “You will have to leave, one day,” he murmured. “It was only logical.”

“Then we’ll face that when it comes, okay?”

Felix sighed, closing his eyes, then leaned into you and settled his head on your shoulder. “Okay.” That one word was still rather wobbly, as if he didn’t believe you. His chest rattled with each of his shaky, uneven breaths. 

��Now, let me see you smile.”

You suspected you were pushing your luck with that, and your assumption had been proven correct when Felix rolled his eyes and sent you a rather unimpressed look. “No. That’s ridiculous,” he huffed. “I’m not an infant.”

You simply resorted to other means of achieving what you sought. Felix squeaked as you shifted to the side and rolled him onto your lap, laying down in the long grass in a similar position as you had in the library, long ago. This time, however, when his eyes went wide above you, you shot up and kissed him, merely a chaste peck on his plush lower lip.

His blush was more brilliant than the setting sun behind him, a bright, fiery red you couldn’t believe you ever thought to abandon. Though he groaned and stubbornly averted his eyes, Felix couldn’t help but smile- a mere quirk of his lips that was faint enough to miss.

And yet, it was good enough for you.

[jaskierswolf]

Alpaca Love

Rating: E (In later chapters) Pairing: Geraskier, background Yentriss Summary: After one viral video and a bit of a mental breakdown, Jaskier finds himself living at a farmhouse in the countryside on a forced getaway from social media for two long months. He never expects to find love there, but these things have a habit of surprising even the best of us. CWs: panic attacks, anxiety, smut, alcohol, (more may be added and check AO3 for details) Also on AO3 Part 1, 2, 3

_

Jaskier was dancing around his room in a flurry. Geralt was due any minute and Jaskier was panicking. After his less than brilliant first impression that morning he wanted to try and impress him, but he couldn’t figure out what to wear! He was desperately missing his wardrobe from his London flat. He hadn’t thought that dating would be on the agenda when he’d decided to visit the countryside.

What a fool he’d been.

He could barely go on holiday without stumbling onto some holiday romance. Of course he would end up meeting the most gorgeous man he’d ever met within his first day at the farm. He sighed and ran his hand through his hair. He was on a farm. Geralt owned the stables next door. He wouldn’t expect London date fashion. With a heavy heart he pulled on yet another flannel shirt and a pair of faded blue jeans. He tied a pink, purple and blue bracelet round his wrist, just to make sure Geralt knew he was very much available to men and then tried to smooth down the mess that was his hair. It wasn’t very successful but he tried and he didn’t look like a total mess. He certainly looked better than he had that morning. Although not being covered in mud and alpaca spit was a low bar.

He sighed and turned away from the mirror. There was a knock at the door before he’d even made it halfway down the stairs. Triss glided gracefully from the kitchen, threads of fur still stuck to her jeans but unlike Jaskier, it seemed to suit her. Despite the early morning, there was a sort of glow about her. She was so in harmony with the world around her, at peace, like a fairy sitting in a rosebud helping the flowers to grow. Jaskier envied her for that. Back home in London, his poor pet cactus was barely alive, and he was pretty sure his sister, Essi, had helped on her visits to his flat.

Jaskier reluctantly went to sit in the kitchen. The last thing he wanted was to panic Ciri before she’d even entered the house, but he was a musician and he had a keen ear. Chewing at his nails as, he listened out for Triss and Geralt at the door.

“Dad says Jaskier is here!” came the excitable shriek of a young girl. Jaskier smiled and looked up at the ceiling. He’d come to the farm to escape his fans but the younger ones were just sweet. They almost idolised him, but in such a precious and innocent way that it wasn’t that bad.

The online proposals he could live without.

He licked his lips and pushed back his chair. He knew he might as well get this over with, and he really did want to see Geralt again. God, he was like a teenager with a crush. He was as bad as his own fans that he’d just been bemoaning about.

“Ciri,” he heard Geralt’s low gruff voice, and his traitorous heart jumped a little in his chest.

“But Dad!” Ciri whined, making both the adults laugh.

“He is here, princess. Would you like to meet him?”

“Obviously!”

Jaskier took a deep breath and strode out the kitchen. He gave Ciri a wave and smiled brightly at her, his fake smile that he reserved for his fans. The smile morphed into a real one when he met Geralt’s gaze a moment later, winking instinctively as he licked his lips before turning his attention back to the ashen haired girl with startling emerald eyes. “Lovely to meet you, Ciri.”

Ciri went bright red and squeaked wordlessly. She stared at him wide eyed and then stuck her hand out, a proper little business lady. “I’m Cirilla, but don’t call me that.”

Jaskier laughed and shook her hand. “Oh I won’t, Ciri, don’t you worry. I bet your father only calls you that if you’re in trouble.”

Ciri wrinkled her nose. “He promised me he wouldn’t.”

“But sometimes I make a mistake,” Geralt said in a soft whisper, a stupidly fond smile on his face that melted Jaskier’s heart, as if he needed another reason to fall in love with him.

It was Jaskier’s turn to blush as he met Geralt’s gaze. “It happens to the best of us,” he murmured, the tension almost unbearable between them although Jaskier was certain it was all in his head. There was no way that Geralt would ever be interested in the mess that was his life.

Triss cleared her throat and Jaskier jumped back, scratching the back of his neck. “Right, yes, sorry. So, you’ll be spending the afternoon with us then, Ciri?”

Ciri nodded. “Yup!” She grinned, popping the ‘p’ in a way that only kids could really get away with but that never stopped him from trying.

“Brilliant!” He flashed her a quick wink, easily sliding back into his meet and greet persona. “Guess I’ll see you later, Geralt.”

Geralt tilted his head in a silent question and Jaskier nodded his head. It would be all right; Ciri was going to be fine. In the worst case scenario, which really wasn’t all that bad, and Ciri got over excited then Triss would be there. However, Jaskier was good at reading his fans. The young girl was definitely one of the calmer ones he’d met. He should have known really, her being Geralt’s daughter. “Hmm, be good Ciri.”

Ciri just stuck her tongue out at Geralt and he ruffled her hair. She protested and swatted his hand away. Jaskier put his hands on his hips and smirked. The whole display was utterly adorable and she was clearly embarrassed by her dad being there in front of her idol. He met Geralt’s gaze one last time and gave him a two fingered salute. With a nod, Geralt finally left the room.

It had all been a bit anticlimactic. In his head it had been this grand opportunity to let Geralt sweep him off his feet, some fairytale romance but this wasn’t a film, or even a book. It wasn’t even one of his songs. It was real life. Boring and plain real life. He sighed. They’d definitely had a moment there though. Hadn’t they?

It felt like a moment so Jaskier was counting that as a win, and judging by the look on Triss’s face, she’d seen it too. Luckily she couldn’t call him out in front of Ciri. He hoped.

Ciri turned out to be an utter delight. She was feisty but kind. She knew what she wanted in life and she fought for it, even if that was only the last cookie in the biscuit tin. She pouted up at him with quivering lips and Jaskier had passed it to her before he’d even realised. The kid played dirty and she sat there smugly nibbling at the biscuit whilst she scribbled away in the colouring book Triss had produced. It was one of those mindfulness books filled with different line art of animals. Jaskier was almost jealous, but alas he had his own work to do. Bouncing up the stairs, taking them two at a time, he quickly retrieved his notebook from his bedroom and then started jotting down bullet point ideas for a new album. There were half-formed songs in his head but creating an album was more than just a good song. It had to flow, tell a story. There was just a small matter of making the songs work together, blend and balance, loud and soft, dramatic and soothing…

He was definitely considering a theme of nature for this album. The song about Triss and Yennefer would do nicely and with his own journey of self discovery and getting back in touch with mother earth… it seemed right.

An image of magical golden eyes flashed in front of eyes, and he smiled. Geralt. God that man was an inspiration all on his own. Jaskier could weave countless stories about him alone. Albums dedicated to his darling nymph, spirit of the moon, riding his trusted steed across the night sky and spreading light into the darkest nights.

“Oh cock, that’s good!” he muttered, and scribbled furiously in his second notebook.

“Jaskier,” Triss sighed and gave a pointed look to Ciri who was grinning like a bloody Cheshire Cat.

“Oh shit, fuck, balls,” he clamped a hand over his mouth and stared between Triss and Ciri with wide eyes, his cheeks heating up. “Sorry.”

“I like him,” Ciri decided.

Jaskier grinned back sheepishly. “You already liked me,” he pointed out.

“Yes, well… Now I really like you! You remind me of my Uncle Lambert. He plays guitar too, but not as well as you do.” Ciri smiled sweetly and then went back to her colouring without any further explanation.

Jaskier just gaped at her. Geralt had tried to prepare him for a crazy little fan who would probably ask him all sorts of questions about his life and music, but instead Ciri had treated him like… well, like a normal person? It had more than he’d expected from someone so young, and now she was offering up little bits about her family, even going so far as to compare Jaskier to them. He felt like he’d been accepted into the little community at the farm, and he absolutely wasn’t about to cry.

Fuck.

How on Earth had this little girl wrapped him around her little finger so quickly?

He gave Triss a pleading look. She looked up from her brushes with a knowing smirk. Damn witch had known this would happen. God, he was so fucked.

After almost an hour of working silently at the kitchen table, Triss shooed them both out to the living room. The TV wasn’t very big, it reminded Jaskier of the box he’d had growing up, and underneath was a VHS player. Jaskier hadn’t seen one of those in years! He silently vowed to ask Yen about getting Triss an upgrade. A nice flatscreen and a blu-ray player would be nothing to him and he wanted to pay back her kindness. Ciri seemed to know the routine though, she sifted through the basket full of videos until she found the one she was looking for.

“Do you know The Lion King?” she asked.

Jaskier scoffed and plucked the case from her hands. “Do I know The Lion King? Darling I practically grew up on this film.”

A giggle from Ciri was his reply, along with,. “That’s because you’re ancient!”

“Oh hey now, that’s not fair!” Stammering, Jaskier, waved a finger in her direction. “I’m only twenty-seven!”

“Ancient!”

“Triss! Help me!” Jaskier called to the kitchen.

“You’re on your own, buttercup!”

That had Jaskier scoffing, and he’d thought they’d been getting along marvellously. It was betrayal! His heart ached, he might never recover.

“Buttercup?” Ciri asked with a tilt of her head.

“That’s my name,” Jaskier explained. “Jaskier translates to buttercup.”

A tiny little crease appeared between Ciri’s brows as her nose scrunched up in a frown. “Your parents named you Buttercup?”

Jaskier laughed as he put the video into the player and grabbed the remote. He leapt onto the sofa and Ciri clambered up onto the cushions next to him. “My parents did not, I named myself.”

“Why?”

“Shush, and watch the film.”

“It’s not started yet.”

“Watch the film!” he insisted, waving the remote at the television, and then cursed as the end credits began to roll. Ciri giggled at his language and he stuck his tongue out at her like the mature adult that he was before hitting the rewind button. He really needed to get Triss a 4k player.

Eventually he reached the beginning of the film, not bothering to rewind past the adverts, and the music began to play. Ciri sang along at the top of her lungs and Jaskier happily joined in. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d sang for the fun of it. It was… nice? He didn’t have to worry about what the studio might think or whether his voice cracked on a take. It was just him and Rafiki. For a brief moment, he thought about holding Ciri up like baby Simba but it was probably a bit soon to be messing around like that. He still didn’t really know her and he didn’t want to upset Geralt by getting too familiar with his daughter, not whilst he was an unknown, a stranger.

It was bizarre how quickly he’d all but forgotten that.

What a difference a day made! When he’d arrived the day before he’d felt like a city mouse in the country but Triss had been a wonderful host. He’d fed alpacas, and a devil of a pony. He’d met Geralt and now his daughter too. He’d started composing again… and he didn’t even miss his twitter account. He’d been too busy to even think about it.

After that, the film started to go by in a blur, Jaskier was just too busy having a midlife crisis at the age of twenty-seven. How old did someone have to be to have a midlife crisis? He didn’t feel old, or even middle-old… but he was definitely having a crisis.

Fuck.

If you’d asked him that morning what would have triggered it, then he would have definitely said Yennefer… but this charming young girl with ashen blonde hair and emerald green eyes?

He had not seen that one coming.

About half-way through the film, Ciri curled up against his chest, still singing away as if she hadn’t just melted his heart. Jaskier tentatively wrapped his arm around her, in a hug and prayed to god that Geralt wouldn’t mind. Ciri had started it after all and it was just a hug. It was almost a relief when Triss came in near the end of the film and called them in for lunch. The young girl pouted and whined and sulked, wanting to finish the end of the film but Triss put her foot down. With a forced laugh, the kind he saved for performances and interviews, Jaskier helped to pull Ciri off the sofa.

“Come now, Ciri, the faster we eat, the faster we can watch the rest?”

Ciri scoffed, kicking her feet against the ground, but reluctantly followed Jaskier into the kitchen. The room was filled with the aroma of freshly baked bread and something tomato-y? Jaskier sniffed again, maybe onions…

“Triss, darling, it smells delicious!” he cooed as he settled into one of the chairs. Triss just raised an eyebrow at him, one hand on her hip. He glanced at the table, and realised it was still covered in their colouring books from earlier. “Ah, right…yes. Shall we help set the table then, Ciri?”

“Why me?”

“Because I have no idea where anything is, and I thought you might be able to help me?” Jaskier suggested, it wasn’t even a lie. He’d worked out where the mugs were at breakfast but there were a lot of drawers and cupboards. It was easy to mix them up. He’d opened three drawers this morning before managing to find a teaspoon for his coffee, and Triss seemed determined to let him struggle on his own.

He smiled to himself as Ciri directed him around the kitchen. She was a bossy kid but it was endearing, and he really had no idea what he was doing so he really didn’t mind, but most importantly he felt more human than he had since his music career had taken off. He wasn’t just a cog in a machine anymore. He was just Jaskier, watching films with a new friend and learning his way around a new house. It wasn’t his flat or a hotel room, he didn’t have staff serving him dinner off a ridiculously tiny silver tray, and there weren’t a bunch of people in tuxedos at his beck and call.

God, he felt so free.

Like a bird finally able to spread his wings.

“Jaskier?” Triss asked, a hand squeezing his shoulder.

He blinked and looked around the kitchen. “Umm…. yes. I’m fine. Thank you, Triss,” he stammered, although this time when he smiled at her it was completely genuine.

_

Next

[buoyfriend]

16 - The Dust Never Settles

"For the first time since I was a squire, I left my lover's home from a window."

"She exhaled deeply, eyes shut still. My great love, Ishgard, had towered before all other loves. Yet, it shrank as I watched her. I wanted her to feel just as the traveler had in his long voyage away from his ruined star. To feel safe, to feel that she had found it again. That she might stay in Ishgard forever, that this was enough. That this could be her home."

In the weeks after that night, I felt I'd made myself a fool once again. The fantasies I'd held about the contents of The Warrior of Light's heart seemed to be just that, a fantasy. The impolite visions I had conjured in my mind. The hope that I had created when she had only been kind to me, expecting that more would be a possibility. Welcomed by her, even! That I could know more than her strength, but her heart. To see her intimately, to see every shade of her. That she might want to know me not as a colleague, not just a friend.

Humiliated, I refused her meetings. In truth, I was quite busy. The work of raising a nascent republic was endless. Days of arid reports, contentious meetings. A nation that begged to be rebuilt from years of terror from the skies. The Firmament had been razed, due for the efforts of us all.

My contacts with the Eorzean alliance kept me apprised of the Scions' movements. Invited to Gridania, to Baelsar's Wall, and every engagement asked of me, I provided all I could. My presence, my blade, as many men as I could spare. Occasionally, whatever honesty I could offer. My insecurity standing among more seasoned leaders on the star's stage, my hope that my words carried to them as clearly as they had seemed in my mind.

Each time I held her attention, I wished I had been a wiser or a better man as I carried her off after the Grand Melee or as I begged permission for her courtship from House Fortemps. I would have understood that she was not mine. I wouldn't wince as she was spirited away to new lands, performing the same miracles for someone else. I saw these miracles with my own eyes for the first time, watching as she bore the new dawn of nations.

To my surprise, she continued her work in the Holy See amidst it all. I sent the most polite thanks as she worked, laying eyes on her efforts once she had finished. I did not dare allow myself the thought that her return was more than obligation, that she had some love of Ishgard that would drive the Saint of the Firmament to stay among us.

I announced the construction of a housing district for adventurers out of gratitude for their labor, opening some time after the Firmament's completion. In the back of my mind, though I refused to spend time with the thought, I wished that she would come to claim land of her own.

--

I had stopped waiting for my messages, tracing the path from post-moogle to my desk. They arrived daily from across the Holy See, from representatives across the continent. They blended into the many days of my work. That is, until one package rested atop the many letters requesting my review. Post marked from Gyr Abania, a thick envelope. A small painting of Rhalgr's Reach, signed "Lua, Devouerer of Ale". Affixed to it, a green powder marked "Cactus Tea". A note on stained paper, grains of sand dripping from the creases as I unfolded it, "Happy Valentione's Day, Lua"

Promptly, I set aside my papers. I had told myself many moons ago that I could, that I would make time for her. As Lord Speaker and Lord Commander, I would somehow find the time. I left, scythe in hand to source the finest Coerthan tea leaves I could send in return.

--

She had received my tea leaves along with my best attempt at birch syrup. I fancied myself a fine cook until I tried my hand at something she had expertly crafted so many times before. She did work miracles with her hands.

She would return briefly to commune with Francel regarding the conclusion of their work on the Firmament, she would be back in Ishgard within a fortnight.

--

Her countenance had changed. Talkative as ever but with a more certain tone, her words meeting their mark sure as her fists. Tanned from the Gyr Abanian sun, body thinned from long days between meals but etched with new muscles from her hikes through the wilds described in her missive a fortnight past. Battling Warriors of Darkness, learning unfathomable truths of our star. She repeated one warrior's words to me, Ardbert was his name.

"We did everything right, everything that was asked of us, and still–still, it came to this! You of all people should understand!"

"I did. I thought I did. When I realized what they gave to travel to our star, to save their own. I don't fully understand, but the conviction in their eyes. Giving everything and realizing that they had lost despite all intention..." she trailed off, her own eyes losing conviction and glazing over as she meditated on Ardbert's words.

"Do you question the strength of your own campaign?"

"Often. For Ala Mhigo, for Doma, Garlemald has been a generations long tormentor. For me, it's new. Everything is new, I'm always learning some new horror that keeps Ala Mhigo from believing in liberation," she confided.

"I thank God for Lyse every day. I love seeing her passion, her willingness to wait for her people to meet it. She patiently works every day to show them what they can win, after everything they've lost. She makes me believe in it all myself."

She left me with many thoughts, but the newness of it all captured my mind. It encompassed many questions I'd left unasked in favor of others during her time in Ishgard.

"New? Was Garlemald not a threat to your own lands?" I strayed from the topic at hand, curiosity catching me.

"No," her body bristled as if she had already offered too much. "Aymeric, I..." her eyes cast down to the floor. "I'd like to show you something."

--

I followed her back to her quarters at House Fortemps. I had never seen it before, but I imagined that it looked the same as it ever had. Full of plush moogles, chocobos. Paintings of our closest friends, some of acquaintances I had made, others I had not, lined the walls. She made for a cupboard near the window, returning with arms full of orchestrion rolls. Her eyes searched mine as the orchestrion shuddered to life.

Brass instruments screamed harmonious joy, a husky voiced man in an accent resembling hers shouted with elation. I had never seen her like this. The peace that spread out on her face, from the freckles around her eyes to her lips. She swayed gently, eyes closed in the sea of horns and rhythm before she opened them once more. The freedom of the bard, uncontrollably jubilant. The sound reverberated in my chest, I could feel it all over just as his words promised.

"Do you like it?" she asked.

"Yes, it's unusual. Joyful." I struggled to describe it to her, I had never heard a combination of sounds like it before.

She lowered the volume and grabbed my hand as she walked towards her bed. Smoothing her skirt, she sat, urging me to join her. I obliged, aware of myself hot in the face. I felt out of place in my armor, cold steel in her rose scented room.

"And with a voice like Ella's ringing out, there's no way the band could lose"

--

She told me her story. Waking alone in the Gridanian forest, learning the ways of a land she had never laid eyes on before. She shared her regret for words left unspoken before she lost the time, her growing attachment to me, her fear that she had offended me in some way. My voice failed me. I whispered that she hadn't, that she could never.

Delighted in her candor, I listened as she told me her most hidden secrets. The strange device given to Cid, the images of people she might have loved. The books I had seen her guard so fiercely, loved to thinning and dog eared pages. That she, like the traveler she read about so often, felt adrift. That her time among us had been a welcome anchor, that her return time and time again bound her to reality.

We talked for hours, the sun disappeared without my notice. Every thought unsaid between us, laughed quietly into the night. She revealed to me that she had never finished her most treasured book, afraid of damaging the worn paper stuck together by rain. I flipped through the available pages, admiring the delicately painted images. I felt her hesitation as I offered to try. With our hands, we gently pulled the pages apart. I read it aloud to her, throwing my voice as I played the collection of characters.

“I stood looking over my damaged home and tried to forget the sweetness of life on earth.”

She hitched her breath as we neared the end,

"I remember damage. And escape. Then...adrift in a stranger's galaxy for a long time."

I asked if she was ready, if she wanted to hear how it ended. She nodded, closing her eyes.

"But I'm safe now. I found it again. My home."

She exhaled deeply, eyes shut still. My great love, Ishgard, had towered before all other loves. Yet, it shrank as I watched her. I wanted her to feel just as the traveler had in his long voyage away from his ruined star. To feel safe, to feel that she had found it again. That she might stay in Ishgard forever, that this was enough. That this could be her home.

--

I released her fingers, intertwined with mine, to hold her face, hot in my hands. I took note of every freckle, every scar. She kissed my hands, pulling me down with her onto the bed. She let me know her in wordless ways, ways I'd shamed myself for dreaming of.

My doubts over the many moons that passed between our dinner and that afternoon faded. My fear of impropriety, my fear of misunderstood kindness. Her hands unclasping each piece of my armor, she traced my scars. She inhaled swiftly, knowing what some meant and worrying for the story of others. I asked if she had ever taken a lover before.

"Not that I remember. Not here, not yet."

I kissed every ilm of her body, praying that I would be the very last.

--

For the first time since I was a squire, I left my lover's home from a window. House Fortemps had stirred with the rising sun as I held the Warrior of Light, breathing softly into my chest. I ran my fingers through her hair as she awoke to a knock, her body jolting out of a peaceful slumber. Spying the height of the sun in the sky, I realized was late for a meeting at the Congregation, struggling to remember where my small clothes landed. Before I could reach them, I felt Lua's hand press my head under her sheets as the persistent knock gave way to a visitor.

Muffled against the fabric and my own breathing, I heard the orchestrion playing the same tunes from the evening before. A voice, Emmanellain's voice. For a mercy, she swiftly shooed him away, begging for her privacy as she held a pillow to her bare chest. As the door closed, she pulled the sheets from my head.

--

I climbed halfway out of the window, leaning for one last kiss. Another. Three more. I dropped into the garden, pieces of my partially unbuckled armor hanging off of my body.

--

Another kiss, stolen in the moments before her ship left for the East. I tried to control my gait, swaggering from the Congregation down the steps to the aetherite plaza, breaking into a run once I'd reached Limsa Lominsa. Running, as fast as I could, to the docks. If I ever see the man again, I would apologize to the fisherman who accosted me for scaring away his quarry.

Her hands found me, pulling me into a small room. A mop rubbed against the back of my head in the darkness. She leapt into my arms, one kiss finding my face, another my neck. She pressed a new orchestrion roll into my hands then unlocked the door to disappear into the salty wind. The horn bellowed impatiently as she ran for the boat, straightening her clothes, brushing her hair out of her face and into a braid.

The dust never settles for the Warrior of Light. For each war won, another looms in the distance. Wiser and better, I see that now.

--

[letarasstuff]

A real Family

(A/N): This is based on this. I hope you like it :)

Summary: Matthew wants to adopt a child. But does the child want to be adopted?

Wordcount: 1.1k

✨Masterlist✨

______________________________

At any time, there are about 424000 children in foster care in the USA. They all have their own story, their own reason why they are in the system. Still, they have the same need of staying in one home permanently, staying with someone, who can fulfill their need for love and attention like everybody else needs.

For the longest of time Matthew felt sorry for those kids, since he grew up in a loving and protected household. He wondered, why nobody does anything for them. But the older he gets, the more he realizes: He is someone who can do something.

Matthew is a (somewhat) functioning human being, able to provide for a kid and he certainly has enough space in his heart to love somebody else.

Of course, this decision wasn’t made overnight. It’s something he thought about for a long time. Talked about with other people. Educated himself about. All of that until he found an agency that fits his needs and felt comfortable with.

“Ok, Mr. Gubler. We see you are fit to take care of a child. Now we need to talk about your imaginations. Did you give gender and age range a thought?” Here Matthew is, sitting with a nice lady from the agency in his haunted house to talk about the upcoming adoption.

“Yes, I did and I decided, I don’t care. I want to welcome anyone in these four walls. Just- Just someone, who really needs my love and affection, because I got enough of that for them”, he answers sincerely. The actor thought long and hard about those questions and decided that they don’t matter. All he wants is a human being to give a good home.

“I’ll look into what I can do, Mr. Gubler. Thank you for this talk, it was really enlightening for my work. I’ll contact you as soon as I find kids that will suit you.” “Actually, I don’t want to choose from a list. I just want to meet one child that you suggest to me. They are humans, not decorations from a catalogue.”

So he lets the woman go off while Matthew goes on with his life, working on different projects. That is until the right kid is found. As the actor sees pictures of that girl, who just turned ten, she already has him wrapped around her little finger. “(Y/N) is the one. I don’t need to meet her to be sure, I know she will fit in here perfectly. The only thing I want is her consent.”

This is how Matthew finds himself a few weeks later at a corner restaurant somewhere in Las Vegas. “Mr. Gubler! The table is set up and the staff members are informed about what’s going to happen. How do you feel?”

Matthew laughs and shows the set of luggage along with the flowers he has with him. “Do you think she will like them?” He asks sincerely. The lady looks at him with a confused smile. “Why not? The roses certainly look beautiful and it’s thoughtful of you to get that little girl something she can use for her clothes.”

“No, they are a lot mo-” “I’m sorry to cut you off, but her social worker is bringing her in right now. Let’s meet your adoptive daughter.” But Matthew corrects her. “Daughter. (Y/N) is my daughter, if she wants to.”

The first greeting is always awkward. It doesn’t matter if it is a mutual friend, a friend’s parent or the child that will be adopted by you soon. But awkwardness is nothing known to be there if Matthew is present.

He crouches down to the girl’s high, smiling at her. “Hey, (Y/N). My name is Matthew and I’m so happy to meet you.” Shyly she looks up to him. “Hello. You want to adopt me?”

In this moment the actor knows that this little kid is the one he wants to give a good life. “Yes, if you are okay with it, I want to adopt you. Can I give you a hug?” (Y/N) smiles, but shakes her head. “Not yet. I can give you a high five instead.” Happily Matthew extends his hands and she claps hers against his.

In the meantime the social worker and woman from the agency leave the two alone to get to know each other and give them space.

“Do you wanna sit? I also got you something. Do you want to order food first?” A little overwhelmed by his questions, the kid stands frozen in front of the booth. “Uhm, just let us sit down. Do you want some fries?”

As they sit across from each other, (Y/N) and Matthew begin to converse animatedly, talking about nothing and everything. “Sadly in my current home group we aren’t allowed any animals, but I want a dog so badly. Do you like dogs?”

“You know, I really like them, but only the soft and little ones. I bet they are really good at cuddling. Oh, do you wanna see now what I got you?” With excited eyes the girl nods. “Pretty please.”

The brown haired man gives her a dozen flowers. “Pink roses mean forever. (Y/N) if you are sure you are okay with me adopting you, I promise this will be forever. This is a one way street, like buying a one way ticket. We only move forwards, never backwards. And if you are fine with it, I will make sure I'll be that kind of Dad every other child at school is jealous of.”

“Do you mean this? You won’t give me back if you think I’m too much?” (Y/N) asks, a certain sad look capturing her features. This pulls on Matthew’s heartstrings. “No, I won’t give you back, because you won’t be too much. I love you already for who you are.”

“Then yes, I want you to adopt me!” A few sniffles are heard from the back and he is sure it comes from the staff members. “May I give you a hug now?” “You may”, she answers and jumps out of her seat to reach towards him. They envelop each other and it’s in this moment they both feel a deep connection they will hold up for the rest of their lives.

“I also brought you a matching set of luggage to mine. So when we travel together, everybody knows we are a family.”

“A family? A real family?” Matthew smiles. “Yes, a real family.” “Does this mean we can get a dog?” “Okay, don’t let us get ahead of ourselves, maybe we can start with a plant. A cactus maybe.”

Taglist:

All works:

@agentshortstacc

MGG:

@mggsprettygirl

[elysianslove]

Ok so I just read your little things they do piece and my heart❤️ I’m such a softie ( read: simp) for Ushijima and I was wondering if I could put in a request for like a HC where his s/o visits his home/ dorm and sees all these plants and he’s like “ meet y/n . Y/n...” I hope this makes sense! Thank you so much!💜

hi anon!! i hope this satisfies ur simp fantasies 😏 thank you so much for requesting, and i hope you enjoy hehe! <3

public service announcement that i love this himbo <333

moving on

i really wanna go deeper than just what was requested i hope that’s okay :) 

i don’t think ushijima really knew what it was like to love someone so much the way he loves you 

i don’t think he knew he was in love with you, even throughout your relationship in high school

there were a lot of little things that would make him, like, pause 👨🏼‍🦲

maybe because his heart clenched in his chest or maybe because he couldn’t hold back a smile while admiring you even though all you were doing was picking out which ice cream flavor you were gonna have

when you first tell him you love him, he freezes up, and you realize this and immediately say “it’s okay! you don’t have to say it back. i just wanted you to know that i do. that i love you.” 

it’s all he thinks about for 

well forever tbh 

he wants to say it

but he wants to say it when he truly means it. 

he doesn’t realize he’s always truly meant it until it slips accidentally 

he’d invited you over to his apartment, a year after graduation 

he’s living alone, giving him more freedom and control over the design of the apartment. it’s very simplistic and minimal, but there is such a large variety of plants all over the apartment 

never disrespect him and say they’re fake

he’ll spike a ball to your chest 🏃🏻‍♀️

anyways 

you come over, and it’s your first time seeing the apartment. he hadn’t wanted you to see it until it was fully set up 

“toshi ur plants are so pretty 🥺” 

i just know wakatoshi is so straightforward and blunt with his compliments. he’d say some shit like “you’re pretty” but in a monotone voice it doesn’t SOUND like a compliment but please believe him it is

while you’re taking a look around the place (and looking at the pictures he’d hung up of the two of you im screaming) he’s just 🧍🏻‍♂️

and then he goes “can i show u my favorite plants” 

and you’re like YES PLEASE SHOW ME YOUR FAVORITE PLANTS

romance this strong is only alive fictionally </3 

he takes you to his bedroom, and there are a bunch of plants lined up on the window sill 

he takes your hand and guides you to them, and keeps his hand in yours as he points to the first one and says “this cactus is sweetheart, after you.”

you’re already combusting 

“and this one” — a jade plant — “is darling, after you.” 

“and this one” — a peace lily — “is y/n-san, also after you.” 

“and these” — ivy plants — “are love bug, after you.” 

and teasingly, you go, “love bug?” 

and 

remember when i said he’s so casual and nonchalant about compliments 

THATS WHY HE ACCIDENTALLY SAYS IT

“because i love you”

someone call the ambulance, y/n is dead <3 

you stand there mouth agape and wakatoshi is still going on about his houseplants on his windowsill that you kinda nudge him to catch his attention

when he sees the look on your face, he stops and straightens up, unconsciously squeezing the hand that was still in yours 

“toshi you love me?” 

and he just nods gently and goes “after all this, how could i not?”

bruh

BRUHHHHGGHHEBKW

he sees your expression with your teary eyes and he softens up so much 

personally i hate crying in front of people but i would straight up start sobbing lmfao

he lifts up his free hand and cups your cheek and nods again, more firmly “i love you,” and his smile gets wider as he himself starts to process what he just said 

and then he leans forward/leans down and presses his lips to yours, his hand moving from your cheek to the back of your neck as he pulls he closer 

and god 

wow love is so nice ❤️

on your way back home you buy ivy plants and name them “toshi” and you send him a picture when they’re set up at your windowsill 

(responds to the text with 👍🏼 bc he has dad energy) 

(im sorry) 

he sends you a picture back with his own ivy plants named “love bug” mimicking your picture exactly <3

end note; this was so cute omg im cryin. i hope the requester and everyone else enjoyed that!! and, like always, requests are open!!

[canon-transgender-virgil]

Check In (Intrulogical)

A/N: Finished this fic relatively quickly! It's a lot shorter than the Roceit one I posted earlier this week but it's still kinda a long fic lol!

Summary: Directly following the events of WTIT, Remus pops into Logan's room for what he claims is a quick chat, but that quickly grows into something more when the two actually get to talking.

Content Warnings: innuendos, swearing, intrusive thoughts, implied NS/FW (but nothing happens, dw), hurt-comfort

Logan had taken shelter in his room the moment Thomas got home from his outing with Nico. The logical side couldn’t stand to be around the other sides at the moment and he needed to sort out what was going on in his head.

The spectacled side took a deep breath and sat at his desk, staring at the wooden tabletop before slamming his fist down on it. “Fuck!” He yelled at the top of his lungs, infinitely thankful for the magic soundproofing around everyone’s rooms. What would the others think if they heard the rational, level headed (yeah right) Logic yelling expletives at random in his room?

He straightened his tie and glasses and got up, summoning a straw dummy labeled “Thomas”. He stood in front of it and glared at the doll, visibly angry, before he began ranting to it. He talked and talked, yelling at the dummy about how angry he was at being constantly ignored and pushed aside and made fun of, and if the familiar 10 notes announcing a certain Creativity’s presence hadn’t gotten his attention, he would have continued.

“My my Logan, you’ve got so much to say and no one to say it to, huh!” The moustached side raised an eyebrow, smirking at the nerd.

“...what do you want, Remus.” Logan’s words were curt, like he was trying to say just little enough to make the Dark Side leave.

“Gosh, I can’t just talk to a friend?-”

“We are not friends.”

“Ouch!” Remus pretended to be injured. “You’re so prickly, like a kinda sexy cactus! What’s up your ass today?”

Logan stopped and consulted his flashcards, hearing Remus snicker at this and trying to ignore the fact that his face was burning slightly. “Um… Ah.” He found the card he was looking for and examined it a little. “Nothing is ‘up my ass’ today, Remus. You know full well why I’m upset.”

“Uh huh, cuz I called you out on your lying ass.” He sounded irritatingly proud of that fact.

“Yes, well, you got what you wanted. Are you just here to rub it in my face?” Logan stared at Remus, though he noticeably avoided direct eye contact with the gremlin of a side.

Remus frowned. “No, actually.”

“Then you’re here to make me… feel… worse, correct?”

“Nope!” The green-sashed monster grinned.

“Then what do you possibly hope to gain from this interaction?” The blue tied Side frowned. Remus wasn’t here to bug him, or to upset him further? What reason, then, did he have to come to Logan’s room?

“It’s like I said earlier, I wanted to talk to you!”

“...what about?”

Remus shrugged. “I dunno! What do you wanna talk about?”

Logan blinked. “...excuse me?”

“Yeah! Let’s hear what you wanna talk about!” The Duke sat down on Logan’s bed and grinned up at him.

“...” The teacher was silent. “...you’re mocking me, aren’t you?”

“Huh?” Remus blinked and raised an eyebrow. “Why would I-?”

“Yes, I figured as much. Remus, I don’t have time for your games and if you’re simply going to make fun of me you can just-”

“Woah! Pump the brakes Lo, who said I was making fun of you?” The green side looked legitimately confused.

Logan crossed his arms. “Remus, statistically speaking, a total of… Zero sides share any of my interests. A total of three sides have shown aversion to or have mocked the things I consider interesting or enj- er, have a vague liking towards. Why should I believe you aren’t here to add to the latter set of data?”

“First of all, because I sat through that whole talk.” Remus joked. Seeing that Logan just rolled his eyes, he continued. “And secondly, because we also have some of the same interests! Your census of mockery only includes J-Anus, Emo Boy, Hop-Pop Patton and my dumbass brother!”

“Really? Then what are some of those shared interests, oh Duke of Imaginary Death?”

“That was terrible, one.” Remus held up his pointer finger. “And two, we both like chemistry, and poisoning, and astronomy-”

“Wait wait wait.” Logan held a hand up to silence Remus for a moment. “You… like astronomy?”

“Sure! What’s more existentially terrifying than imagining going hurtling right into the sun, or a black hole, or-” Remus’s eyes widened as he talked about the possibilities.

“Thank you, Remus.” Logic sighed. “But… why talk with… me?”

“Cuz… I kinda owe it to you? After being a dickhead all day?”

Logan blinked. “You didn’t have a phallus for a head today?-”

“Figure of speech, teach.” Remus explained curtly.

Logan ‘ah’d’ and nodded.

“And anyways… I wanted to apologize.”

That caused Logan to stop. “...you… wanted to apologize… to me?”

“Yeah, it’s weird for me too, but it’s true! I didn’t mean to make you so mad you - figuratively - blew up, I just wanted to prove a point.”

“I appreciate your use of the word figuratively Remus, and… thank you.”

“No problem!” Remus grinned and thought for a second. “So… wanna talk about forensics?”

Logan’s eyes lit up. “Do I ever!-” He stopped. “Ah, uh, I mean… If you’d like to…?”

Remus giggled. “Cute! But you don’t have to hide that, not around me at least!”

“...thank you…” Logan smiled softly and the duke’s heart just about stopped.

“Uh, um… no problem Nerdy Wolverine.” Remus smiled weakly at the cute nerd.

The logical side rolled his eyes and playfully pushed Remus’s shoulder, which brought the moustached side’s attention to just how touch starved he was - a problem for another day, Mus.

“So what d'ya wanna talk about? Black lights, true crime?”

“Both interesting conversations, but… how about another topic you mentioned earlier?” Logan sounded timid, like he was scared Remus would stop listening if he dared to change the subject.

“Oh? What’d you have in mind?” The intrusive thot tilted his head at a sickening 180 degree angle, but that didn’t seem to bother Logan.

“You mentioned being fascinated by astrology as well. Would you like to talk about that?”

“Of course I would, my nerdy Astro-Boy Toy~” Remus laughed at his own nickname, to which Logan rolled his eyes again. “What about space, starlight?”

Logan’s smile grew ever so slightly, thankfully drawing Remus’s attention to that as opposed to his pink cheeks. “Well… let’s talk about constellations. You’re a storyteller of sorts, what’s your favorite constellation origin story?”

“Ooh, how fun!” Remus grinned. “Well, I personally love the story of Aquila, the king who got turned into a golden eagle messenger thing because Zeus got jealous of how much people liked him! You know, he’s the one who brought Zeus his cupbearer, Ganymede? That’s where the Aquarius constellation comes from! He was some Trojan prince, he ended up being the god of homosexual love! Historians think his name was a euphemism, since it’s a combination of the Greek words for ‘gladdening’ and ‘genitals’!”

Logan nodded and watched Remus explain the stories, smiling at how enthusiastically Remus shared the information. Remus noticed this and stopped. “Well, how ‘bout you, teach?”

“Huh?” Logan blinked, being pulled from his thoughts by the sound of Remus’s voice.

“You wanted to talk about constellations! What’s your favorite story?”

“Oh, um… I enjoy the story of Orion, the hunter who killed so many innocent creatures that Gaea sent a large scorpion to kill him and then put both of them in the stars for all eternity.”

“Huh! So that Scorpio constellation…?”

“Yes, that’s its origin story as well.” Logan smiled.

“Funny! I would never have guessed it!” That wasn’t true. Remus knew each and every constellation origin story like the back of his palm. He loved Greek mythology, but the only thing he loved more than that was seeing how Logan’s face lit up when he got to explain it. “Any other stories?”

The teacher blinked and adjusted his glasses. “Oh, um… I also enjoy the Cassiopeia story…”

The duke’s face brightened, eagerly awaiting Logan’s explanation. The spectacled astronomer’s face turned pink when he realized this, not sure what to do with this sort of attention.

“Well, Cassiopeia was a queen in Ancient Greece and she claimed to be the most beautiful thing in creation, which Posideon took personally since he had made what he considered to be the most beautiful creatures, and those were the sea nymphs. So Posideon sent Cetus, this giant sea monster, to torment the town, and he told the citizens that if they wanted him to get rid of the monster, Cassiopeia would have to apologize. She didn’t, so they asked if they could do anything else, and Posideon said if they sacrificed Cassiopeia’s daughter Andromeda to him that Cetus would go away, so the townspeople kidnapped her and brought her down to the pier. Poseidon didn’t like that, of course, since he was really just trying to get Cassiopeia to apologize and didn’t want some poor mortal’s blood on his hands so he let Perseus save her and kill Cetus.

“As punishment for almost letting her daughter die to save her own pride and for insulting the gods, they put her in the sky upside down on a chair to humiliate her for the rest of time.” Logan had gotten pretty excited while he explained the story, grinning widely as he finally finished it.

Remus was silent the entire time, watching how happily Logan told him a story he’d heard a million times before and thinking about how nice it was to be able to hear it from the nerd’s perspective.

Logan, finally remembering Remus was there, coughed softly and adjusted his tie, his smile fading. “Um, apologies, Remus. Thank you for letting me ramble.”

“Lo, you were telling a story! That’d be really dickish for someone to just cut you off during a story, you know?”

“I know, but I still appreciate it.” Logan yawned and Remus realized he looked tired, like the story had exhausted him.

“You wanna take a nap, teach?” The duke frowned and tilted his head.

“I… I have to finish up my work for the day…” The logical side moved his glasses and rubbed his eyes.

“...Lo?”

“Yes…?”

“You had a long day. Yes it was cuz I was being a bitch, but still, you need to get some sleep. Or, y’know, I’m gonna be even more of a bitch to deal with!” Threatening intrusive thoughts usually worked to get Janus to go to bed when he refused to sleep, so he figured he’d try the technique out on Logan.

The nerd however simply shook his head and laughed softly. “I don’t think so, Remus. I can… I can handle you…”

“You couldn’t today, could you?” Remus accidentally blurted out before immediately covering his mouth. “Oh my god I didn’t mean that-”

“It’s fine, Remus.” Logan stated, rubbing his eyes. “You’re right. I couldn’t handle you today. But I really do have to finish working on this-”

“I’ll stay with you if you go to bed!” The duke once again blurted out. “Cuz I don’t think you’d wanna stay alone with Orange so close by, y’know? I can stay and like, fend him off!”

Logic blinked at the proposition and squinted. “...you… want to stay with me? Why are you so adamant about me getting proper sleep?”

“Well one, cuz it’s already 10:30 at night, and two, cuz… you know, I don’t wanna end up actually hurting you!”

That further surprised Logan. “You don’t want to end up hurting me? I was under the impression that that’s something you enjoyed.”

“Well…” Remus was hesitant to explain - that tipped Logan into the fact that it was probably something more than that.

“What’s really going on Remus?” The stern side crossed his arms and stared at the Creativity.

“...okay, I don’t wanna be alone tonight!” The duke stomped his foot and crossed his arms, looking away. “My nightmares have been getting worse and Janus is hanging out with Roman and Patton today and Virgil hates my guts so I figured I’d at least try to hang out with the one side that for some reason still tolerates my dumb ass!” He sounded a little hurt, and added, “Or, one that wouldn’t immediately kick me out or hit me with a broom at the mere sight of me.”

Logan blinked. “Nightmares? You suffer from nightmares?”

Remus sighed and tugged on his sash. “Yeah, they suck ass - not in a fun way - but it’s part of the job description, y’know?”

“I don’t. But… does this mean you also suffer from intrusive thoughts?”

“...yeah… They’re kinda the reason I came in here in the first place...”

The logical side sighed. “Remus, you could have told me sooner you just needed company. I’m not the best at keeping up conversation but I could have at least put on a movie for you to refocus on something other than your intrusive thoughts.”

The duke blinked. “You… you’re not gonna just kick me out?”

“Why would I? You’re in need of assistance and I’m going to provide it for you.” Logan got up and rummaged through his DVD stack. “What would you like to watch?”

Remus stretched and looked over. “Whatever ya want, Sub-astute but Super Cute Teacher.”

Both sides flushed red when they realized what Remus had said.

“...interesting nickname, Remus.” Logan gulped, looking down.

“Yeah, uh…” The duke laughed weakly. “Well, I guess that cat’s out of the plastic bag it was choking in, huh?”

“What, that you think I’m cute?” The teacher looked over at the moustached Creativity. “You already called me sexy.”

“Well yeah, but that felt less… sappy, than calling you cute. And anyways, I meant that I was into you. Ooh, do you have Coraline?”

Logan stopped. “...repeat that, please?”

“The Coraline thing?-”

“The thing before the Coraline request.”

“Oh yeah, I like you.” Remus was right to the point, like always. “When I saw you take the shuriken to the face and just keep on moving right along… God, that was an image!” The duke gripped his thigh and shook his head, stopping himself from reaching down his pants.

“And you’re telling me this now… why?” The teacher was still reeling from the initial confession.

“We don’t get to talk one-on-one a lot! Plus, I don’t really like talking about cutesy emotions - that’s Roman’s department, y’know?”

Logan nodded slowly.

“Anyways, I changed my mind on the movie, can you put on Monster House?”

The spectacled side nodded and got the CD for Monster House, putting it in the DVD player and sitting next to the green-sashed side. He should have figured Remus wouldn’t be the type to linger on his feelings, and he was grateful for that at least. He couldn’t handle talking about feelings for long periods, especially not his own, but to have one of the most passionate sides just drop the fact that they liked him and immediately move on from that fact? It was odd. He almost couldn’t believe it.

Remus meanwhile was laying on the bed and watching the movie intently, smiling brightly at the screen before realizing that Logan had gotten into bed next to him. He turned over a little and growled “seductively” at the teacher, who laughed softly at the dark creativity. The sound caused butterflies to erupt in the duke’s stomach, flustering him a little. He smiled back at the logical side before returning his attention to the movie.

Logan meanwhile admired Remus, watching as he talked excitedly about the movie. He found it strangely endearing, how excitable Remus got when he was able to talk about things he found interesting. He didn’t have much time to think about it though, as he found himself falling asleep soon after the thought passed through his head. The astronerd yawned and passed out, sleeping peacefully next to the intrusive side.

The duke didn’t notice until he felt warm arms wrap around him. It startled the hell out of him, but he relaxed after he realized it was simply the sleeping teacher clinging to him. He carefully took Logan’s glasses off and turned off the TV before closing his eyes and falling asleep.

**The next morning**

Logan woke up first the following morning, still a little tired but feeling much better than he did the previous night. Vision blurry, the blind scholar felt around his nightstand for his glasses before realizing he was curled up into another person. He quickly got his specs on and saw the sleeping form of Remus below him, remembering that Remus had asked to stay with him the night before.

He looked at the sleeping creativity, who looked much more peaceful (and admittedly much cuter) asleep than he ever did awake. Still feeling somewhat tired, the Sherlock kinnie looked away and closed his eyes, feeling his face start to burn. When did he start thinking of Remus as “cute”?

Logan didn’t have too much time to dwell on it as he heard Remus start to stir. “Ugh… morning starshine…”

The teacher jumped and sighed. “Oh, good morning Remus. Did you sleep well?”

“Like an asphyxiated baby… you?” Remus groaned and stretched, waking up a bit more.

“I slept well too.” Logan fidgeted with his hands. The dark creativity, sensing the spectacled nerd’s unease, sat up and went to get off the bed. He was somewhat shocked to feel Logan tug on his sleeve. “Stay. I wanted to talk about what you said to me last night.”

“Oh… that.” Remus sighed and sat back on the bed. “What about it?”

“I… I’m not entirely sure what it feels like, but I think I reciprocate your feelings?”

Remus’s expression changed from slight concern to a poorly hidden malicious grin. “Oh? You’re into me?”

“I… think I am.” Logan nodded slightly.

The duke was silent for a moment before bursting into a grating cackle. “Oh- oh my god! Oh my god, you’re gonna kill me nerd!”

The scholarly side tensed up and blinked. “Excuse me?-”

“Are you fucking kidding me?! What kind of goddamn loser are you, to think I - or anyone really - would like you?! Especially after the bullshit you pulled yesterday, like Jesus Christ you’re pathetic!”

Logan’s heart sank as he heard Remus say this. “So you were, what, mocking me?!”

“No shit, Sherlock!” The intrusive side cackled once again before morphing into a huge octopus-human hybrid monster and grabbing the teacher. “You’re so fucking stupid! What on Earth made you think someone like me would like someone like you?! You’re lucky any of the others even talk to you anymore!”

Logan panicked as the tentacles pulled him up to Remus’s razor sharp teeth, about to chomp down on his head, when-

“Lo! Logan, wake up!” The logical side heard Remus’s voice coming from somewhere it should not have been, and Logan woke up with a start. Remus frowned as the teacher practically flung himself away from him.

“Get away from me!” Logan’s voice sounded frantic and panicked, like a cornered animal.

“Woah, woah!” The creativity held his hands up in surrender. “Teach, it’s me!”

The teacher took a few deep breaths and grounded himself, looking around. “...right, right… Apologies, Remus…”

“No problem, Nerdy Wolverine. Now, care to tell me what happened?”

Logan sighed and moved over to Remus, explaining to him his nightmare, tentatively telling the nightmare inducing side that he’d tried professing his mutual love to the other before getting horrendously mocked and belittled.

“Sounds a lot like my Nightmare Nico scenario. Has this happened before?” Remus had managed to ignore his thundering heartbeat and the cheering going on in his head - Logan likes me back!! He could focus on that later. Right now, Logan needed his help.

“No. I don’t normally dream, period, so to get a nightmare is extremely unprecedented.”

“Huh… so, I’m the reason you had the nightmare?”

“That would be the logical conclusion, though I had assumed that your effects would be… muffled, in my room?”

“Maybe it’s a mix of psychological and my effect on you guys? Like you were stressed or anxious about last night so my ability to give people nightmares got amplified?”

Logan nodded. “Interesting hypothesis, and it’s… definitely possible. I apologize for yelling at you earlier.”

Remus shrugged. “Eh, it’s okay, I’ve heard worse.”

The nerd nodded and the two were silent for a moment before Remus sighed and asked what they were both thinking. “So. I like you, and you… apparently like me back? What does that make us?”

Logan hesitated. “I… I’m not sure. What would you like us to be?”

The duke grinned. “How about boyfriends?”

The scholar smiled. “I think I’d like that.”

Remus beamed brighter and moved a bit before stopping. “Can I kiss you?”

Once again mildly surprised by the other’s bluntness, Logan nodded and scooted closer to the dark creativity. Remus quickly pulled the former into a kiss.

Logan was the first to pull away, flushed red and smiling to himself. “I think I could get used to this.”

Remus grinned and took the scholar’s hand. “Me too, Lo. Me too.”

[andyet-here-we-are]

I Would Get Into Millions of Accidents Just to See You, Chapter 3 (aka Nurse Geralt AU)

(Check the pinned post for the first two chapters please~)

The next day flows by in a blur for Geralt. He wakes up, takes a shower, prepares a quick but nutritious breakfast for Ciri, and makes oatmeal for himself.

On his way to the hospital, he thinks about Jaskier and wonders if he should call him now. He almost does that, but then he decides against it because he knows that Jaskier is busy having his fourth dream right now probably. It's too early to call him as much as he wants to do so. 

His mind wanders on how cute Jaskier sounds when he is sleepy—when he has just woken up.

Cute, but also usually a bit grumpy even though he denies it with every inch of his being.

***

"That shouldn't be legal," is what Geralt thinks when he steps into the hospital room, unable to take his eyes off Jaskier's sleeping figure. "I can't believe I'm supposed to do that. God, have some mercy on me. I love my job, I really do, but it sucks big time sometimes. Why should I suffer this way?"

A moment later, he is well aware of how dramatic he is being, and how hard he frowns, making a source face. It's not like him to act like this at all.

Damn.

"That dramatic son of a flower must be rubbing off on me," annoyed at himself, he mumbles before he coughs as if that alone is enough to wake the musician up. 

"Good morning," he tries when Jaskier doesn't wake up and slightly turns to the other side of his bed instead.

"Mr. Pankratz, it's your medicine time."

Jaskier slightly opens his eyes just to look at him this time, and the first thing he mumbles is: "What happened to your ears?" before closing his eyes again. 

"What are you talking about?" The nurse questions, checking his ears with his free hand that isn't holding the medicine tray, wondering what he meant by that.

"Are you still asleep?"

"Yes... No. Maybe?" Jaskier mumbles again, half asleep as he rubs his eyes, trying to make sleepiness go away.

"You will have to pick one of them."

The musician opens his eyes after a while and smiles at Geralt.

"Morning. God, what a sight to wake up to."

Geralt must be used at this by now. Because whenever Geralt has to wake him up, no matter how much Jaskier complains at first most of the time, he always utters the same words eventually.

"What a sight to wake up to."

Yet, every time he does that, Geralt's heart flutters in his chest.

"You didn't sound too happy with my ears, though. What was that about?"

"Ah, about that. I had a dream that— promise you won't laugh?"

"Can't do."

"Anyway," Jaskier yawns and explains: "I had a dream that you were an... elf."

"I was a— what?" Geralt laughs.

"Hey! You said you wouldn't laugh!" The musician stares at him like he is ready to kill him. 

"I never said that," Geralt forces himself to stop laughing. "Well, that explains everything."

"Shh, stop interrupting me. It's mean."

"Sorry, I'm all ears. Not elf ears, though, sorry to disappoint you."

"Don't sweat it. Bad guys were trying to steal Mrs. Ansley's—who was a fairy, speaking of which—cookie recipe, which was also the key of a parallel universe, somehow. You were trying to protect the recipe, then puff. Some gingerbread men came out of nowhere to help you, but you tried to... eat them? Well, not just tried actually. You managed to eat their leader. Therefore they decided to join the dark side. Can't blame you, though. They looked pretty yummy. I was about to hop on my unicorn for help when you woke me up. A unicorn wearing a pasta costume. Pink pasta costume. Yeah, yeah, I know, that makes no sense, is there even a pink pasta costume?" He asks sleepily, raising an eyebrow. "Also, I had a magical lute, I think."

"You think that your whole dream makes sense, but just the pink pasta costume doesn't?"

"I've never seen a pink pasta costume, so..."

"Oh, sorry, right. I forgot you have seen everything else but that. The elf version of me, alive gingerbreads and all. My bad."

He chuckles at that lightly.

"Still more possible than a pink pasta costume."

"The most ridiculous dream you had this week might be this one so far."

Jaskier seemed to have taken it upon himself to tell Geralt about his dreams. This was the eighth dream he talked about this week, and it wasn't even Friday yet.

"It was like," he opens his arms wide as if he is presenting the name of his new song to the whole world, " 'Geralt and Jaskier in Wonderland' I blame the medicines. And you," he points at the nurse. "I also blame you. For looking like... " he then gestures at everything, "this."

"You blame me?" The other man snorts, amused. "If anything, you should blame yourself for having the wrong dream. Have you ever looked at yourself? You would make a good elf, not me. You are as bea— I mean, anyway, medicine time."

"I am what now? Wait, wait, wait, were you about to call me beautiful?"

"I was about to call you bearable, but then I thought that would be mean."

"I think you were about to call me beautiful, but then you thought 'That wouldn't be professional, you are his nurse,' or something along these lines. Also, that's not even how you start when you're about to say 'bearable' they are not even pronounced the— "

"That's not what happened."

"Nahh, I'm pretty sure that's exactly what happened, but eh, whatever helps you sleep at night, love."

"You're probably thinking you're still in 'Geralt and Jaskier in Wonderland', go back to sleep, you're delusional."

"I am so not! And that would be your problem even if I was. Wanna check my fever?" He says, giving the nurse a once-over, "I feel hot, suddenly."

"Well, that explains why you're delusional, doesn't it?" Geralt teases. "Take your medicine and you will be just fine."

Jaskier sighs and does as he is told.

"Geralt," Jaskier says before Geralt is about to leave, a grin on his face "I think you are 'bearable', too. "

***

Geralt means to call Jaskier.

He really does.

Yet, whenever he is about to call him, something comes up, and eventually, he just accepts that he is going to have to wait for his shift to be over. 

For some reason, he doesn't want to call him and get interrupted after a minute.

And he doesn't want to send him a text, because he prefers hearing his angelic voice instead.

So, yeah. He is kind of stuck there for now.

***

Geralt finds Ciri laughing at her own joke as she watches The Office when he gets home, and this reminds him of Jaskier since that's something they both have in common. Once again, he finds himself thinking about the musician.

***

“Shit, it hurts,” Jaskier says, holding his chest.

“Maybe it’s the universe’s way to tell you to stop laughing at your own jokes.”

“Oh shut up, the universe can kiss my ass.”

“Seems like it prefers to kick your ass instead.”

That draws an annoyed laugh out of him, which makes him hiss in pain.

“It wouldn’t send me here if it was trying to kick my ass, Mr. Should Have Been A Model But Became A Nurse For Some Reason.”

“I can't believe you still keep using that silly nickname unironically. Don’t you think that it is a bit long?”

“You may be right. Hmm, I’ll just call you ‘Mr. Handsome Nurse,’ from now on.”

“Please don’t. No.”

“How about just ‘Handsome’ ?”

“Still no.”

“Why not? It’s just a fact. You wouldn’t get mad at someone if they would point at a yellow wall and call it a ‘yellow wall’ would you?”

“That’s not the same thing.”

“I see no differences.”

“Then you better get your eyes checked.” 

“Speaking of which—” Jaskier reaches for his scratch book standing on the bedside table “can I borrow your eyes for a second?”

Geralt frowns, wondering what the musician is up to this time.

Jaskier opens his scratch book and stares in his eyes intently for a while and as he scribbles something. "Thanks," he says, "I just needed an accurate model of the stars."

"You know," the nurse shakes his head and answers smoothly: "you could just ask for a mirror."

Geralt can't help but smirk at his open-mouthed speechlessness. 

***

He hears a familiar voice singing, and for a moment he is sure that he has finally gone insane. 

Drying his hands on a washcloth, Geralt makes his way to the source of the voice, thinking "That must how Jerry feels when he follows the smell of a piece of cheese Tom tries to fool him with."

Jaskier's voice is irresistible to him, just like how cheese is irresistible to Jerry.

Absolutely irresistible, and hard to miss.

He could distinguish Jaskier's voice among all the rest if he heard it in a room filled with millions of men singing a song together.

This voice is coming from their living room. To be more specific, from Ciri's laptop—which she was supposed to use for searching her homework topic, but that can wait for now—

"Or I shall die," he hears Jaskier singing oh so sincerely and dramatically "or I shall die!"

"Dad! Please don't be mad, I swear to God I was going to start doing my homework, but—"

The first thing he does when he sits on the couch next to his daughter is grabbing the laptop and rewinding the video to the start. He then checks if the volume is at maximum.

"Shhh," he gestures, all of his attention is on the video he is watching.

He doesn't even realize that he takes a deep breath as soon as he sees the musician's face appear in front of him on the screen before Jaskier even starts singing.

He is as beautiful as ever in his ridiculous mint green shirt that he left the first four buttons undone.

It has cactus patterns on it.

Geralt can't help but wonder if Jaskier wearing this shirt is actually some kind of a secret message to him and him only.

Didn't he say that Geralt was just like a cactus?

"...prickly on the outside sometimes, but soft on the inside? A cactus in the desert.”

His words. Not Geralt's.

What does that even mean then? Something like "I wanna wear you on me like a shirt?"

Okay, he should probably stop because he is reading too much into this and—

"Anyway, so, this song goes to the cruel man who made me want to buy this shirt because it reminded me of him. You know who you are,"

Geralt's breath hitches.

He is not reading too much into this.

If anything, it's vice versa, because Jaskier dedicated a song to him.

Jaskier is thinking about him, too.

Thinking about him too much that he has decided he should dedicate a song to him.

The scene splits into five and one of the boxes on the screen shows Jaskier playing the piano, while in the other he plays the lute occasionally, violin in another one, and accordion in the other one. And in the other, he sings.

Good God. Is there anything this man cannot do?—Besides picking names for babies maybe, since picking names is definitely isn't his strong suit.—

"I tell myself what's done is done

I tell myself don't be a fool

Play the field have a lot of fun

It's easy when you play it cool"

"Does this mean he gave up on me because he got fed up with waiting for my call?" he thinks. But then again, why would he sing a song for him if he gave up?

While watching the video, Geralt is well aware of the fact that he will watch this video again and again and will take special care of each Jaskier— making sure not to miss even the tiniest of the mimic and gesture he does.

"I tell myself don't be a chump

Who cares, let him stay away

That's when the phone rings and I jump

And as I grab the phone I pray

Let it please be him, oh dear God

It must be him or I shall die

Or I shall die"

He was right, this isn't a song that screams: "I'm giving up." Thank God it isn't. Jaskier puts his hand on his chest as he sings, and Ciri sighs next to Geralt, resting her head on his shoulder as she watches the video with him. 

"Oh hello, hello my dear God

It must be him but it's not him

And then I die

That's when I die"

That dramatic son of a flower actually flings himself into an armchair.

"After a while, I'm myself again

I take the pieces off the floor

Put my heart on the shelf again

You'll never hurt me anymore"

While he sings the "put my heart on the shelf again" he puts a heart sculpture on his bookshelf with a serious look and frown on his face. He might have got this heart sculpture just for this video for all Geralt knows.

"I'm not a puppet on a string,"

At this point, Geralt wouldn't be surprised to see actual strings attached to the musician's body just so he could cut the strings. He really wouldn’t be surprised, at all.

Because Jaskier is that extra most of the time.

And Geralt loves that about him.

"I'll find somebody else someday

That's when the phone rings, and once again

I start to pray

Let it please be him, oh dear God

It must be him, it must be him

or I shall die, or I shall die"

The musician's voice goes up effortlessly into an unreachable octave as he sings the last part, and it's impossible not to be impressed. 

But then again, the man puts his heart into everything he does, therefore even doing something like folding a simple frog origami seems impressive when he is the one who's doing it, let alone singing as perfectly as this.

He then slowly walks towards the camera as the other boxes disappear and that one takes over the screen.

"Seriously though," he makes an aggressive 'call me' gesture, and the scene fades to black after that.

"Whoever keeps Jaskier waiting must be crazy," Ciri comments and gave a snort of disapproval and frustration. "He must care about this idiot of a guy a lot if he sings for him like this. What a jabroni. It would take him only a minute to call him."

"Ciri!"

"What? I'm right."

"That's not a nice thing to say," Geralt warns as he hands the laptop back to his daughter.

"I'm surprised that you watched the full thing, by the way. Actually, you don't seem too annoyed with me watching his videos nowadays, and you seemed quite interested in this one."

"I just love Vikki Carr," Geralt says. He has seen the title of the video, after all, so he knew this was a cover of her song. "I've wondered how he sang this song."

"Name five Vikki Carr songs then."

Geralt doesn't know five Vikki Carr songs— he can't even name two, let alone five.

"Okay, I think that's enough fun for you today," the nurse pretends not to have heard his daughter. "Do your homework while I go out to get some milk."

"We have milk at home."

"No, we don't."

"I put it in the fridge myself just this morning, so yeah, we do."

"We're out of these cookies you love, though."

"I thought you said they consumed way too much sugar so we were going to come up with a healthy and as I've read from your invisible subtitles, also probably boring recipe we can make together this weekend?"

"I— God, you ask a lot of questions today." Geralt whispers tiredly, pinching the bridge of his nose and letting Ciri's "boring recipe" comment slide.

Fuck him for not saying "I'm gonna go get some groceries," instead.

"I just asked one question, but okay. So? You changed your mind?"

"Yeah, I changed my mind, just for one more week, you can have it."

"Really?! Thanks!"

"Anything you want, pumpkin. Alright, I'm off!"

Geralt ruffles her hair before he grabs his wallet, keys, and most importantly, his phone.

Just before he closes the door, he can hear Jaskier's voice coming from the living room once again.

He cannot blame Ciri at all.

***

"If this is another spam call and not the important call I've been waiting for I swear on all my lute strings that I'll crush that damn phone on the ground and dance upon its bloody ruins! Actually, no, wait, that would mean the possibility of missing the call I've been waiting for, but you got my point."

As soon as Jaskier answers his call and starts talking, he feels like all the tiredness of the day disappears. Jaskier's voice manages to do that even when he is simply busy telling him off, having no idea who he is talking to. 

He can see that Ciri was right. He is an idiot for waiting for the right time.

"I'm seriously so sick of—"

Geralt finally cuts him off by saying: "Wow, I wouldn't wanna be a scammer or something right now, you aggressive Dandelion."

"Wait a second, this voice— Geralt?! Is that really you? Oh my God, you finally ca— I mean—"

Jaskier coughs as if he tries not to sound too excited, "Heey, the best nurse in the existence," Geralt can almost see his flirty frowning, yes, he manages to make even frowning look flirty for crying out loud, "How's it hanging?" he asks, his voice sounds deep, lazy, and dare he say, sensual.

"I should be asking you the same question. Are you still praying by the phone?"

"Someone does stalk me on social media, I see."

"And someone sings a song and makes a pretty impressive video clip for me, I see. My daughter was watching it, and that's how I found out about it. Just for your information."

"So you're not the one who stalks me online. It's Ciri," Jaskier says, and the fact that he remembers Ciri's name warms up Geralt's heart if he's being honest. "Sweet. Cool. Cool. I'm not hurt by that at all."

"Well..."

"Would you die if you let me be happy for just a moment? Not that I'm not happy to know that your daughter still watches my videos, but it would be nice to hear that you were the one who checked my account willingly."

"I'm sure I would see your video today anyway. Maybe it wouldn't be that soon, I admit, but I would see it."

"Is that so?"

"It is so."

Silence.

But it isn't an uncomfortable one.

"Did you really find it impressive?" Jaskier asks, his voice is full of hope and happiness.

"Well—" 

"Nah, I know it's impressive, forget that I asked," he lets out a long sigh, "If I knew making a video clip for you would make you call me right away, I would do that earlier. Were you playing 'hard to get' or something? You know... I find it kinda cruel to make someone who just got out of the hospital keep waiting on the phone for so long. For your information, that 'kinda' is kinda unnecessary here maybe. I call it 'the polite kinda'. Or 'the unnecessary kinda'. " 

The next moment, Jaskier's playful tone leaves its place to a caring, worried one as he keeps talking: "If something is going wrong with your life, I take it back though. Ignore everything I said in that case. Is everything okay? Are you okay?"

"Ah, about that— Don't worry, everything is alright," Geralt replies, "I was thinking about calling you today, but I couldn't quite find the time. I know that's not an excuse, and I know I could call you earlier, but I didn't want to call you only to say 'I have to hang up,' a minute later."

"I’m happy to hear that nothing is wrong. And well, even that would be better than leaving me hanging. Or a simple 'Hey, the best patient ever' text would do. You took so long that I would be lying if I said I didn't think about getting involved in another accident."

"I'd rather you didn't."

"I would get into millions of accidents just to see you, Geralt. Provided that I could have you as my nurse every time, of course. What's the point otherwise? I'm not a masochist."

"Such a flatterer you are, Mr. Pan—"

"I'm not trying to flatter you. Cross my heart and hope do die, I'm just scattering the facts around like they are glitters. Or cake sprinkles."

"God forbid! Accidents, death... Aren't we gonna talk about nice things at all?"

"I've been waiting for you to call me forever. I have every right to be bitter about it."

"I'll make it up to you, I promise. How about I start making up to you, starting now?" 

"Sounds like you have something in your mind, Mr. Handsome Nurse." 

"I do, indeed. Have you had dinner yet?" 

"Does strawberry yogurt count as dinner?"

"I highly doubt it. You were complaining about hospital food, and yet that's what you choose to have for dinner?"

"I've never said I count yogurt as quality dinner, but it's still better than the things you dare to serve people as 'food', I should admit, I thought you already came to terms with—"

"Maybe you should come over so I can show you how a proper, nice dinner looks like. I'm not half bad at cooking."

Jaskier is silent on the other end of the line.

"Are you still there?" Geralt asks finally, "I'm sorry if this was too forward of me or too soon, I just thought it could be nice. You could meet Ciri too, that way." 

"No! Yeah! I mean—" if Geralt didn't imagine it, Jaskier sighs and murmurs an angry 'get it together you dumbass,' to himself before he continues talking. "Yes, I'm still here. No, this wasn't too forward of you. I was just taken aback a little bit, sorry. I mean, not every day a handsome nurse who I've been waiting for his call for a decade calls and invites me over for dinner. I'd love that, Geralt."

"I'll send you the address, then." Geralt checks his watch, it's nearly 6 p.m. "Is eight okay for you?"

"Sure, that should be fine. Hey, Ciri still doesn't know, right?"

"I don't think I need to answer that."

"Huh? Why is that?"

"Don't you think she would just grab my phone and call you herself if she knew? Or reaching out to you on every social media possible? Shouting from the rooftops, even?"

"She really likes me that much?"

"She just called me, I quote, an 'idiot', 'crazy', and 'jabroni' after watching your video, so..."

"She did what?!"

"I mean, not directly at me since she doesn't know I'm the 'him' in the 'it must be him', but still." 

"Seems to me like you're in big trouble here."

"Don't even remind me about it."

"I'd be lying if I said that doesn't put some pressure on me though. I mean... What if she doesn't like me?"

"Wha— Ciri already adores you. She adores you so much that it's annoying sometimes."

"It's impossible not to like you," is on the tip of his langue.

"They say never meet your heroes. What if when she actually meets me, she goes 'Meh, that's it?' What if I disappoint her somehow?"

"Worrying about earth getting invaded by the aliens in pink pasta costumes and tutus would much more sense compared to this. Believe me."

Jaskier laughs at that, but Geralt can still sense that he is not completely convinced.

"If you say so."

"I know so, Jaskier. I know so."

[moonlit-grove]

Bandaging each other and sharing a tender moment for the wifs, if the inspo strikes, or Vie and Canach?

why not both first is the wifs....

Being a hunter came with danger. Monsters or just animals. They all had the instinct to fight back, and there was always a chance another creature would seize the chance to get a few bites in. That was part of the job. Part of the deal. And, living in the Far Shiverpeaks, is part of life. Injures were just a fact of life.

Kov watched silently, swinging his legs beneath him. He sat on the table, watching his moms. He had little more than a scraped knee- from tripping over Crei’s tail playing with her. His moms, their injuries, had his attention. Mostly his sylvari mom, staring at how the sap pooled around the cut.

A vicious bite from an arctodus, through her leg. By the looks of it… Kov wondered if it was because of her sylvari nature that she was even still able to stand on it.

“Doesn’t it hurt?” He asked, looking to her face. She wasn’t even sweating!

“Of course it does,” Fiadh grunted as she lowered herself to sit in the low chair behind her, making sure her leg was lifted as Dilus slipped beneath to hold it up. Mirka joined the two, carrying a box of poultices and aids. “I just… Mmgh- Needed to be able to walk to come home to you.”

“No, no you didn’t.” Mirka glared slightly, “Dilus or I could have very easily carried you.”

“Stór, please. When have I ever needed to be carried? I’m fine!”

Fiadh leaned forward as Mirka carefully dapped away the thickest sap with a cloth. She brushed her fingertips over her cheek.

“I mean it, stór. I’m okay. You don’t need to worry, just rub some of the numbing creams and let my body handle it.”

“I worry about you.” The norn whispered.”

“I know. You’ll always worry. And I worry- and will always worry- about you. And Kov. That’s part of being in love.”

Mirka squeezed her hand. Kov jumped off the table to walk over to them. “This is part of being family.” She whispered.

now for cactus blossom

That smile. That damnable smile. Vie’s heart fluttered as her beloved chuckled at her flushed face. He leaned closer, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

“Really, you need to be more careful.” He chastised.

She had been training earlier, practicing a tactic with Midi. Leaping off with her daggers as the skyscale rolled to launch her forward. But the last time, the two of them miscalculated. Midi rolled too soon, and Vie had lost grip on the saddle- and her blades. One stabbed into her hand as she reached to the ground to try to catch herself.

“Blossom, look at me.” She did. The smile was gone, eyes widened and lips pursed together, “I care about you- I love you. You’re already amazing and talented. You don’t need to push yourself this hard. Especially with your daggers- what if it wasn’t your hand!”

The younger sylvari pouted, turning away as tears welled in her eyes. She loved him… She loves him. Yet she still can’t quite handle that tone. He sighed, squeezing her hand as he wrapped the bandages. Thick to catch sap and help it stick.

“I love you, Vielcos, I can’t lose you. Not after all we’ve been through.”

“I… I love you too…”

He kissed her cheek, gently folding her fingers and pushing her hand to her chest.

“Let’s go get dinner. Cor’s making your favorite.”