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jaeminscoffee · 3 years ago

Text

Daddy Issues | S. Jn

Pairing | Seo Johnny x Fem!Reader

Genre | Smut, fluff

Wc;type | oneshot: 3.93k [not proof read]

Warning(s) | Pwp, dilf!johnny, y/n's a pillow princess, daddy kink, overstimulation, teasing, edging, dacryphilia, slight voyeurism, degradation kink, heavy use of the words 'doll, princess, slut, pretty, angel', typical lyra smut, i made haechan johnny's son (i was about to write changbin as johnny's son but decided against it) age gap, unprotected sex ( the Reader's on pills. Remember this is a fiction, don't play the wrong card irl) filth.

a/n- i found this request buried in my asks and was tempted to write it. Sure, the warning looks intimidating, but i know you wanna read it, y'all whores (ily) shoutout to @bakugou-is-my-bae @cvntzennie and @jenopollo for helping me decide what to post first! @suhpersonic

Minors try not to interact! <3

Age is just a number, so surely, there's nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed of, right?

There's no reason for you to not fall for the friendly neighborhood bachelor, well not so bachelor bachelor, since he does go around asking people who knows of his marriage to pretend it never took place.

Johnny's hot, super hot. Has the build of a supermodel. Has the face that one can only imagine belongs to a greek god, as you'd jokingly tell him how he seemed to be god's favorite and how you loathe Aphrodite for showing favoritism (which would always end up with you getting a very sultry, teasing look from the lad)

Johnny has the type of personality that women can only wish the entirety of the male species would possess. He's an absolute sweetheart, life of the party, definitely the center of attention wherever he goes. And oh god, does he have an immaculate fashion sense.

But Johnny's also the father of Donghyuck. Your best friend.

More than being ashamed about the fact that you actually fell in love with a man who has a child of your age, it was the fact that you had to fall for Donghyuck's father of all people.

Donghyuck is a sweetheart, definitely got his personality from his father but he's also got that glare that could creep the Lord's of the darkness from his father. He's got so much from his father that the resemblance is uncanny.

You'd not want to get onto hyuck's bad side since you've gotten first hand experience at stopping him from almost committing homicide to someone who spoke shit about his friends, more specifically, you.

But Hyuck's not in town. So a little fun with Mr. Suh wouldn't hurt anyone, correct? After all, you're still only a human with desires and the want to take risks.

You'd always not so subtly drop hints at Johnny and he'd always give you that look that would have slick collecting itself between your thighs. A warning look.

A look that said, "cross the line and you'll get it"

But that's the thing, you want to get it and will do anything to get it.

"Y/n."

You'd ask yourself less than a million times if you want to do this or not.

Sure, you weren't this hesitant when you decided to sext your best friend's father knowingly when he was in business mode to irk him up but that's one thing.

And having to confront the same father who left a message smaller than a sentence that completely disregarded all the obscene text and images to show that he's not the slightest bothered or suprised by your behavior for that matter was another thing.

"Tomorrow at mine."

It's almost as though he deals with hormonal teenagers one as such as yourself on a daily basis and that thought kind of backfired at you considering the whole 'Let's piss Johnny off so that he'd finally give me what i want' agenda.

Ironic, huh?

"Mr. Suh." you start hesitantly, unsure of what to call him, scared of what his reaction would be after your inappropriate shenanigans last night.

Your stiff demeanor broke down a little with just a hint of shiver passing down your spine as you watch his features contort into a subtle but cocky smirk, "So now you're being all formal,"

"Well, what else would you like me to address you as?" you inquire, feigning oblivion to his tone and what he's implying at. "You tell me, doll. You seemed to have a lot of names to call me last night," he takes a step forward, prompting you to walk a step backwards, further into the corridors of his apartment and away from the actual location.

"I do not know what you're talking about.. " you let your voice shrivel towards the end, eyes wandering around the complex, finding interest in every small detail as you avoid Johnny's teasing gaze.

"You don't?" Johnny takes another step forward, latching his hands onto your forearms to prevent you from stepping further away, "You must have had a heavy sleep to forget all that you did last night," his voice drops dangerously low as he begins to walk backwards and back into the safety of his apartment, all the while keeping his gaze fixated on you.

"That won't do, would it? How about we take a walk down the memory lane? And see if that rings any bell?" He brushes your hair away from its static position on your shoulder, allowing him to appreciate all those fine details of your shoulders and neck that are exposed from your selection of clothing, an off shoulder.

"How about we don't...?" You ask with skepticism, jolting slightly when you hear the door shut behind you and at the new intrusion of personal space by the lad.

"Why are you acting all shy now, Y/n? Weren't you the one so eager to get into her best friend's fathers pants? Just be the whore you are, darling. Your facade's fooling no one." okay you definitely didn't see that coming.

Johnny's expressions morph into that of mischief as he watches your eyes grow wide and mouth fall ajar, "Am i not correct? Are you not a whore?" he asks with an eyebrow quirked up in a questioning manner.

You don't reply, almost as though the question was meant to linger in the open and that it was a rhetorical one. What you didn't expect, however, was for Johnny's hands to find pursuit around your neck, not necessarily applying pressure, but there as a warning.

"Answer me."

"I'm not.." you answer with a feeble voice, internally cringing at how squeaky you sound which only added to Johnny's amusement.

"Really? Because I don't think good girls go around drooling at a divorced man, her friend's father for that matter and definitely do not send lewd images and voice out their fantasies to a guy twice their age, still want to pretend you're innocent? Or you admit it and we cut down the chase?"

"Yes, I am." you breathe out when his fingers tighten around your neck, a triumphant smile making its way onto his lips. Yet, Johnny felt the need to keep pushing,

"you're what?"

"I am what you said I am," you speak, trying to avoid looking at the scrutinizing look on his face which seemed futile as he had his arms wrapped around your neck, keeping your head in place.

"I want to hear you say it, doll. I need to hear you say it." At this point Johnny's intent was to get you into a flustered puddle in his hold and it sure as hell was going in that direction, seeing how you can't even hold his gaze for more than a few seconds in a shot.

"I am.. I am a who-"

The sound of a phone ringing loud cut you off midway through your sentence, to which you were absolutely relieved. Johnny only seemed to grow annoyed the more he heard the phone ring. With a loud huff, he lets you go, not before giving you a stern look, "Go to my room." he instructed, making his way to the study.

You let out a breath you've been holding in unknowingly the moment he steps away from you. You watch his figure retreat from you with awe, only now realizing how messy you felt between your legs and how your knees keep buckling.

"Oh Hyuck!" you hear Johnny exclaim into the phone the minute you step forward to follow his command.

Your best friend is on call with the guy you're about to fuck.

Your blood runs cold as you shakily make your way into the apartment and towards the bedroom, shrugging off your sling bag, hanging it behind the door as you place your phone on the bedside table to wipe your hands dry from all the sweat that had accumulated at the palm of your hands.

"Yeah, I'm fine, about to eat to my dinner actually" you hear the moment to make yourself comfortable at the edge of the bed, looking over to the door where Johnny stood with his arms across his chest, the other holding up the phone as he leans his weight onto one shoulder, leaning into the doorframe.

You take the time to really appreciate his appearance. He adorned nothing more than a simple grey sweat and tight black tee but he seemed ready to walk down a runway at any given moment now. His long hair, slightly disheveled looking almost intentionally messed up, compliments his features. And oh his features.

The everlasting smirk stayed still on his lips, moving as he exchanged words with his son.

You only come back to your senses when Johnny snapped his free hand in front of you, gaining your attention. He points at his own shirt, then points at you, mouthing 'off' while he listens to Donghyuck speak about whatever he's speaking.

"Really? Jeno said that? Tell him I'm more than willing to welcome him as my gym partner, the lad seems strong" Johnny makes a quick move to remove the gadget from his ear, before holding it in front of him after placing the call on speaker mode

Your eyes widen the moment you hear the disturbance in the background and Donghyuck's voice resonate through the room. "no?? Why would you want to work out with him? He'll only make you feel old, you know?"

"Says the one who still can't beat me at arm wrestling. If anything, i think Jeno would make the perfect gym buddy for me," Johnny raises an eyebrow at your defiance, cocking his head towards the side, staring down at you with a predatory look, "Hyuck, you know, Y/n-" you scramble to take your shirt off at the mention of your name on the call, "-stopped by earlier" he lets out a silent laugh of disbelief.

"Oh? Oh yeah! I'd told her I'd give her book back before I left but I forgot, did you perhaps give it back to her?" Donghyuck questions.

"I figured you must've forgotten so, yeah i did." Johnny replies, pushing himself off of the doorframe, now walking towards you.

"Man, I miss her! I might facetime her after I end the call with you," Johnny sets down the phone beside you on the bed, leaning down, placing both his hands on either side of your lap, finding comfort at the crook of your neck,

"I remember her mentioning something about her cousin coming over? Maybe wait for an hour or so before calling her" his lips graze against your neck each time he spoke, you let out a tiny whimper at the so longed feeling, only to earn yourself a small bite at the earlobe, immediately accompanied by a hand over your mouth, "you need to be quiet, doll. Or my son would find out how much of a slut his best friend is," he whispers in your ear.

"Yeah? Did she mention which one?"

"No, not really, she kinda just stormed out after getting what she wanted" Johnny creates a trail of kisses all the way from your neck to your shoulders, down the collarbone while one of his hand worked to unhook your bra, "Yeah, she's weird like that," you hear Donghyuck let out a chuckle as you whine into Johnny's palm, your figure slightly trembling from the fear of getting caught all the while being excited about the risky situation he's put the two of you in.

"Anyways, I'll call you tomorrow? The boys are coming over now so I got to go! Night, dad!" Donghyuck speaks up again, "Night, Hyuck."

You hear the beep indicating the call has ended. Johnny let's his hand drop from your mouth and makes its way towards your hair, brushing through the strands before pulling at it with a firm grip, "I had my son on call and here you are making all these sweet noises, you wanted to get busted, doll?"

"It's not my fault! You-"

"ah-ah! Don't talk back, angel. You're already in deep trouble, don't want to add onto that now, do we?" He makes a swift move to have you lying on your back, your torso completely exposed to him while he remains clothed.

"But Johnny-" you whine, jolting when you feel his hands caressing the soft flesh of your inner thighs, "How do you think Hyuck would feel about this?" his hands travel further north, cupping your heat from underneath your skirt. "fuck, you're drenched"

"Now tell me, pretty girl, what are you supposed to be calling me, now?"

"Johnny-, tha-that was a joke! I don't have daddy kin-" you try clenching your thighs close from the sudden attention your core was receiving. Johnny wholeheartedly lets out a laugh at your attempt to hide your true feelings, making a quick act of disregarding your soaked panties somewhere behind him.

"Darling, the more you deny it, the longer we keep going at it-" his thumbs at your clit, applying pressure but making no move to quench your needs. You let out a sigh of bliss at the feeling, your back arching off of the sheets at the sensation.

In any other situation, you'd be embarrassed at how sensitive you'd gotten just from all the dirty talking and looks Johnny passed you. But that's the catch, he's Johnny, the only one who can get you this sensitive while doing the bare minimum.

"Say it, Y/n."

"No, Johnny! It's-it's embarrassing.." you plead with your eyes, grinding your hips against his fingers, earning a satisfied, dirty look from the lad.

"Very well.. I'll just draw it out of you"

Without warning, Johnny with little to no resistance, slides two slender digits into your wetness, setting a pace fast enough to draw loud chains of cries from your mouth.

"You hear that, doll? You hear how fucking wet you are? Hm?" he growls animalistically, the thumb that remained on your clit now moving in circles with a motive to get you undone in seconds.

"Johnn-..!" you whine out, feeling your orgasm growing so close that you could almost taste it, "Still going at that, angel?" he questions, not really expecting an answer as he soaks up the pleasured look on your face. "Johnny- I'm close.. -" you fail to notice the mischievous grin growing on his face as he speeds up the movement of his fingers.

"Of course you are, doll" He feels you clench around his fingers, back coming off of the mattress as you ready yourself for your release, waiting until the last minute to draw his finger out.

"Why would you-? Johnn-I was so close!" you cry out as you sense your core clench around nothing, whining about the incomplete orgasm. "Why would I give you what you want when you wouldn't comply, baby? That's not how this works." He shrugs, licking his fingers clean of your essence, moving up from the bed to remove the shirt that seemed to be suffocating now.

"Johnny, please!" you whine louder, rubbing your thighs together to create some sort of friction, all unsatisfactory as it did not meet the same intensity as that of his fingers.

"Please what, doll?" He smirks, knowing the ball is in his court and that you'd had to give in any moment now. Johnny leans down once again, drawing lazy circles at your clit, using his other hand to hold himself up above and close to you, his minty breath which had a hint of coffee fanning your face as you whimper, finally feeling your high building itself up again. "Spit it out, princess, you know you want to." he speaks in a soft voice.

"Please..please" you beg for nothing in particular, getting all worked up again, "The begging's lovely, doll. But you're starting to anger me here, will you say it? Or should I leave you hanging again?"

You mutter prayers under your breath, hoping he wouldn't actually leave you hanging again, "Fine-" he moves again to remove his fingers from you to deprive you of pleasure all over again when you finally latch onto his wrist, keeping his hands in place blurting out, "Daddy! I'm so-sorry.. There, daddy, please make me come" you give in, the name, the feeling and look of pure victory on his face as he grins like a cheshire cat only intensifies the heat growing at a rapid pace at the pit of your stomach.

"Final fucking ly, princess. Daddy will make you feel good" He reinserts his fingers in, drilling it with desperation to see you come undone as he draws rapid circles on your now sensitive clit with the other hand, watching you squirm under him.

"Joh-Daddy i'm coming..!" you cry out weakly as you feel your orgasm hit you with much force, easily driving you into over sensitivity. Johnny's patient in helping you ride out your orgasm, not stopping until you let out a throaty sob and plead him to stop to allow yourself some room to breathe.

Johnny, however, makes no move to stop, only speeding up his fingers, his gaze fixed on where his fingers disappeared inside of you while his other hand held you down with a vise grip, "Give me one more, doll. I know you've got one more in you. " he pants, the feeling of his girth in confinement only throwing himself to sensory deprivation as he feels himself twitch inside his sweats painfully.

You shake your head, tears now flowing elegantly down your cheek, your lips puckered into a slight pout, your eyebrows drawn together as you let yourself melt into the pleasure Johnny was providing you with. "Daddy.."

You whine, feeling your second high reaching you ridiculously quick as you see Johnny's face contort in concentration,

"I need to get you nice and wet for me, princess, you're doing so well. Give daddy another one" you coaxes you with his sultry tone, words and actions, inevitably having you come undone under him for the second time that night.

You let out a choked moan, finally having enough as you curl upon yourself the minute Johnny removes his fingers from you, full fledged crying at the overbearing feeling of sensitivity.

Johnny groans at the sight, leaning down to press a soft peck on your sweaty forehead before getting off of the bed to remove his pants alongside his boxer at a slow speed, granting you some time to recover.

"Condom?" he asks, readying himself to reach into the drawing when he notices you shake your head a no as a reply, "I'm on pills.." you mutter weakly.

You hear him curse out at the thought of doing you raw, flexing his muscles before climbing on top of you again. He takes his time to gently turn you back onto your back, pressing his tender lips against your irritated one for the first time that night, his hand ever so slightly moving to play with your clit once again, making you jerk, "Daddy!"

"Sorry, doll. Daddy just needs to make sure that princess is ready to take his cock"

Your whining intensifies at his words, wiggling your hips to move closer to his own, "But I am ready! Look, daddy! I'm so wet and ready for you!" you whimper, earning a chuckle from the lad.

Just like all the other times that night, he aligns his cock at your entrance without a warning, the tip ever so slightly pushing through your walls, "Alright, big girl. Show daddy how much of a slut you can be for him."

Suddenly, Johnny detaches himself from you, moving further away as he leans by the edge of the door, smirking at you whining at the loss of contact, "Patience, angel"

He grabs hold of your hips, manhandling your body into all fours as he enters you completely with no trouble once he's got you where he wants you to be.

Something about having to take Johnny from behind was so sexy that you could almost immediately feel your orgasm grow, "Fuck baby, keep clenching around me like that and i won't last long," he grunts, moving in you with a steady pace,

"I never expected my son to befriend such filthy sluts like you, Y/n. Look at the mess you're making on my sheets" He grabs a fistful of your ass in a tight squeeze, the sudden shift in his demeanor only serving as a whiplash as you feel yourself growing closer and closer to the sweet orgasm.

"Jesus, doll, you're so fucking tight i can barely move" Johnny growls, talking to keep himself from coming too fast.

"Daddy.. I'm close. M-I'm so so close" you cry as your arms give out and you fall face first onto the mattress, the new stretch in your back only encouraging his cock to hit you deeper, finding the sweet cushion that serves as extra pleasure for you.

"Me too, princess, me too.. '' You hear him let out a whine, his thrusts growing sloppier as he does you slower but deeper.

He reaches around your body to find pursuit at your clit for the nth time that night, rubbing rapid, messy circles to go with his deep thrusts, "Daddy!" you reach your high with a high pitched cry of his name.

Johnny comes not too long after you as he couldn't resist the constant tight clenching of your walls around his cock. He thrust slowly to ride out his high as you twitch helplessly, face scrunched up in too much pleasure.

You feel your body being manoeuvred onto your side as he whispers sweet nothings which pass right through your ears as you feel him softened inside you, the feeling ridiculously soothing for your used up walls,

"You did amazing, darling." he kisses your temple, not making any move to remove himself from within you, which you silently thanked him for.

You both lay in silence as you turned your body towards him, earning a hiss and a playful smack from him as it added pressure onto his sensitive member. You wrap your arms around his torso, about to nuzzle into his chest and just drift away to dreamland when you hear the familiar ring of your phone from the table beside the bed.

You feel Johnny's body shift to reach out to get your phone, looking at the caller ID before handing it to you with a smirk that you knew meant that he was up to no good. "Oh! It's hyuck" you exclaim in shock, quickly accepting the call and placing it near your ear, moving to get away from him.

But Johnny seemed to have other ideas, as he latched an arm around your torso to keep you from moving, "Hey-" you begin, immediately feeling Johnny experimentally thrust into you again, making you whine, "Y/n! I miss you~-oh hey, are you okay?" you hear Donghyuck's voice from the other side,

You look at Johnny with a pleading and warning gaze to which you earn yourself a toothy grin from the lad,

"Of co-course! Just a little.. peachy,'' You turn around to place a hand on his chest to halt his movement, "You don't sound just peachy.. I've heard you like this before!" you hear Donghyuck make those noises he makes when he's thinking as Johnny keeps thrusting lazily the more you look at him, you see him open his mouth to speak, "Oh fuck! You're getting laid, aren't you???"

"Tell Hyuck daddy says hi"

943 notes · View notes

asterekmess · 3 years ago

Note

Been seeing you getting hate mail and while I absolutely can't understand why anyone would go to all the trouble to make some one else feel bad... I also kinda really love the discourse on Scott? Like YOUR RANTS oh man. On point. Always. Tbh I tried giving Scott a chance... He is the main char after all... But I was like??? Wtf? That dude does nothing but refute others and does whatever he wants. And this was when I didn't particularly like Stiles either (first time watching Teen Wolf). But then I got to know more of him and like Tony he went asshole to lovable asshole—seriously, Stiles might not be the ‘nicest’ but he tries and his heart is in good place—while Scott is just... self-righteous. Someone pointed out that he sees people as possessions and that irks me too that I can actually see it being true. The dude has literally nothing going on except for being the one that gets bitten. And the Romeo-and-Juliet-esque romance he has.

Okay, okay, where was I going with this?? Right. LOVE YOUR RANTS. People need to understand that Scott not being liked isn't because of his race or anything trivial like it—he just happens to be—but because of his actions. Or inactions, as it were. *remembers the pool scene and Scott saying he's busy and resists the urge to chuck a shoe at him*

Basically, love you, love your work, and love your words! ❤️

I've talked with some friends about it, and our number one issue sort of...boiled down to the hypocrisy of the show? I....sort of rant a lot here, and I would add a Read More, but I can't find the option anymore?? I fucking hate Tumblr. EDIT: I found a post that told me how to do it!

So, since he's the character I focus on the most, let's talk about Stiles' morality. Because, you're right. Stiles is an asshole. He does some fucking awful shit in the first season, and even if he had a Reason to do it, it was still bad. And I still don't like it. But I understand it.

Stiles' lack of shits about what is 'lawful' is literally established in the first ten seconds of the show. He's a sheriff's son who sneaks onto people's roofs in the middle of the night bc they aren't answering his calls, who listens in on his dad's work conversations and is willing to fuck up a crime scene because he's so excited about getting to see a dead body. He doesn't care about laws. He doesn't even care about most basic manners (invasion of privacy much, with having Scott sniff Lydia to see if she liked him?). He's a dickhead, even to the people he cares about sometimes. But personality and morality aren't the same. Stiles' entire actual morality system is based around whatever he needs to do to keep the people he loves safe and happy. Lying to his dad so he doesn't get murdered by hunters? Totally fine. Telling Scott that it was "Jackson's own fault" that Scott attacked him with superstrength and dislocated his shoulder, so Scott doesn't feel like an asshole? That's just best friend duties! He will lie, steal, cheat, and he will kill to keep his loved ones safe (let's not forget this boy threw molotovs at Peter, knowing damn well what they would do to him). We can headcanon all we want about all the different people who are in this group of loved ones, but the list is canonically very short: Scott, his dad, and Lydia. Later on, like, past s3B? It includes Derek. Canonically. Stiles puts his life and the lives of others he cares about on the line while he lies to the matriarch of the Calavera hunter clan, to save Derek Hale. Derek is just canonically a part of that group now, and he fucking knows it bc Stiles is his anchor (that's canon too bb). End of Story, Sterek or no Sterek. It's why we get that insane number of lookbacks when Derek is dying before his evolution. Because Stiles is being forced to choose between two people who are BOTH in his ride-or-die group. He Cannot Pick between Scott and Derek, until Derek begs him to leave.

SO, yes, Stiles does fuckface things, and I don't always agree with what he does, but it is ACCURATE TO HIS CHARACTER. He is morally grey. He NEVER CLAIMS to be pure or good or just or righteous. Stiles knows who he is, and he stays true to himself. And I love him for that.

The same goes for a bunch of other characters! For Peter, who is strikingly similar to Stiles, in that family goes above literally everything. Screw the idea that he was following Derek around waiting for the chance to steal back the Alpha spark. That man put his life on the line (his second life, no less) to get the shit beaten out of him until Derek let him help save Derek's life Again and Again. Family Comes First.

Scott's morality is...confusing as fuck. I thought at first he was similar to Stiles, in that family came first, but...while he's protective of his mother, he also does a lot of stuff that puts her at risk without seeming to care/worry (like leaving Peter alone with her once Stiles hits their car, so he can chase Jackson) (or asking her to come to the high school when he's convinced there's a bomber in it)? Seriously, he's more protective over Allison, than his mother. It's very black and white the rest of the time. Very "this bad" "this good." And if you do "bad" then you are bad forever, while if you do "good" you are only good until you do "bad." The Betas were "good" until they asked for the bite, and then they were "Bad." Derek was "bad" when Scott met him and scared him, so after that, no matter how much "good" he did, he remained "bad." But only when it suits him. Allison is good even when she does bad, because he wants her to be good. Chris is good even though he's done mountains of bad, because of the minuscule amount of good that Scott has seen him do, because Scott wants him to be good. Even DEUCALION is good, despite the crazy CRAZY amount of bad he's done and despite having seen him do NO GOOD, just because Scott wants him to be good. Lying to those closest to you is bad, unless Scott is doing it, and then it's good, because he knows HE is good. Killing people is bad, unless Scott is doing it. Letting villains go is bad, unless Scott is doing it. Biting people is bad, unless Scott is doing it. Protecting family is good even if it requires killing or lying, unless it's not Scott doing it. Revenge for past slights is good, unless it's not SCOTT doing it. And you try to understand it! You try to say, okay, then he's morally grey, got it. He plays with the rules to suit his own morality, whatever. Except that Scott, the other characters, and THE SHOW ITSELF, are all telling you otherwise! They all say that Scott is morally pure. That he is good and righteous and lawful. That he always does the "right" thing, and that when he does "bad" things, it's justified and he had to. THE HEAVENS THEMSELVES say Scott is somehow better or more righteous than the other characters by MAKING HIM AN ALPHA OUT OF NOWHERE. (I'm talking abt canon here, not going into deaton conspiracy theories) It's like....Like in the hate mail response I did, where I pointed out that Every Single Thing people get angry at Derek for doing, Scott did too. Lying, killing (or at least attempting it), attacking innocents, losing his temper, keeping secrets, refusing to work with someone who could help, etc etc etc. Everything Derek has done that is morally "wrong," Scott has also done. And that's okay! Doing a bad thing doesn't make you a bad person, and even if it did, Scott is ALLOWED to be bad! GO FOR IT.

Except that he is sinless. It isn't that he learns from the bad things he does, it's that they aren't treated like bad things in the first place. Because Scott did it, and Scott always does the right thing.

Derek's behavior is reprehensible at times, but the show ADMITS that and frames it as bad. Frames it as him doing a bad thing when he scares Isaac or throws Peter or tells Erica who to date. And that's fine, because Derek is established as not being morally pure.

But SCOTT IS. And because they were so desperate to make him continue being "Pure" they didn't frame the things he did as wrong, or if they did, they absolved him of it immediately, using the exact same reasoning that works for Derek's situations, but this time Actually Accepting it.

He scares Stiles, well it's because he's scared. He throws Isaac, it's because he's upset. He attacks Jackson well it's because Jackson was being a dick. He orders Allison to date Matt, well he had a goal to accomplish. Every reason is treated like a fucking doctor's note that erases the bad things he does.

Being scared, or angry, or retaliating to someone being an asshole, or trying to protect himself, was NEVER a good enough reason for Derek to do ANYTHING "Bad." It was never an acceptable excuse.

IF IT WERE: If the show were making a statement about how fallable people are, how they do bad things, but they do them for a REASON. How people will do wild and terrible things out of fear, and how that doesn't make it less bad, but it makes it understandable, so don't demonize them out of nowhere. If that were the case, I would HAVE BEEN FINE WITH IT.

Scott is held to COMPLETELY different standards than everyone else in the show! And I DON'T mean that people held him to higher ones. They dropped that bar so fucking low. Anything was allowed, and any excuse was good enough.

He made out with a girl who was dating someone else, who his best friend was in love with? It's just the full moon, he's angsty about losing Allison. He ducttapes Liam to a bathtub and starts throwing random phrases at him that he hated Derek for saying to him? He's freaked out! He doesn't know what to do with a bitten wolf! It was an accident! He works with a mass murderer behind people's backs without telling them the whole story? Am I talking about Gerard or Deucalion? Who fucking knows. Either way, it's okay, because he was protecting his family. He plots to murder a cancer patient slowly and painfully by replacing meds that likely included painkillers with mountain ash, and the uses someone else's body to deliver the killing blow, and it's okay because he was just being smart! He was just working ten steps ahead! He was saving his mom and the whole town! Who cares if it DIDN"T WORK?

He walks into his ex-girlfriend's hotel room and scares the SHIT out of her while she's naked and alone in the shower? It was the wolfsbane. It doesn't matter that no one else's impulses included HARASSING someone. He lies to his girlfriend's face about her own life because he doesn't think it's important enough for her to know (who am I talking about, come on, take a guess, which one is it? Allison or Kira? Trick question: it's both). He was just being kind! He didn't want to worry her! He didn't want to make her feel bad! She didn't need to know!

I'm so far off track it's not even funny. My point was that Everything the other characters in the show are demonized for or framed as evil or bad or wrong for doing, Scott is shown to do and it's treated like at minimum a comedy, if not a Perfect Brilliant Strategic Move.

God, fucking hell. I mean, the PARALLELS you see in this show, between Scott and others. The scene of Alexander Argent going to the hotel after being bit? That bit where he pulls his shirt up in the mirror? It's a near PERFECT replica of Scott looking at his bite at Deaton's. They paralleled SCOTT MCCALL with AN ARGENT. Deaton has this whole line in S2 where he's bitching at Derek about "the person you should trust the most doesn't trust you at all" And then seasons later, we have Scott look his best friend in the eye and refuse to trust him, only to get upset later because Stiles doesn't want to work with him anymore and he "lost them." Scott goes running into Derek's house in S1 to accuse him of killing the bus driver, and when he can't get a real response, he EGGS HIM ON by accusing him of Murdering his SISTER, just to get Derek to react. Which is the EXACT same thing Kate did when she showed up and wanted Derek to lose his temper. Scott is CONSTANTLY paralleled with villains and assholes, and constantly does the things that others are persecuted for. But instead of feeling regret or learning something from it, instead of growing AT ALL. Those actions are treated as good. We are told they are righteous. And clever. That they are what heroes do. AND YES: There are parallels between Derek and Stiles' behaviors and villains/morally grey characters! Of course there are!

BUT THEY AREN'T SUPPOSED TO BE THE TRUE ALPHA MAIN CHARACTER. SCOTT IS SUPPOSED TO BE THE GOOD GUY. HE'S NOT SUPPOSED TO MIMIC/EMULATE THE VILLAINS, AND HE'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE REWARDED WHEN HE DOES IT ANYWAY.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again; I understand the urge to think that the Teen Wolf writers did all of this on purpose. That they built Scott up as an unreliable narrator, so that we're forced to come to terms with a protagonist who isn't good, and we watch them fall into a villainous role while thinking all the while they are a hero. That all these parallels are intentional and the writers just couldn't Tell us what was going on bc they didn't have enough power.

And sometimes I play into it. I will lie to myself about Scott being the 'narrator' of the entire show, and that we're seeing it all through his eyes so of course things are biased and conflicting, just so I can actually Enjoy watching it.

But I think it's absolute bullshit that this was done on purpose. It wasn't. The parallels appeared because they Wanted Scott to do the badass things that they had all the villains doing, throwing people and being sneaky and clever, and stopping the bad guy, and they didn't want to deal with the fact that they were having him do bad things. So they just pretended he wasn't and refused to acknowledge that they'd already punished other people for doing the same exact shit, but somehow Scott was getting rewarded. They wanted Scott to be the hero, so they made him the hero, and screw everybody else.

#personal #anti-Scott McCall #go for it #love mail #meta ramblings #rant #long post #WHERE IS THE READ MORE BUTTON HALP

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cinnamon-bebe · 4 years ago

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Chemtrails (Pedro Pascal x Fem!Reader)

Chemtrails (Pedro Pascal X Fem!Reader)

Summary: "If you died today, would you be happy with the life you've lived?" What happens when you've sacrificed your love for fame and fortune? Despite the glitz and glamour, the Reader is all Pedro can think about. The stars have never been on your side but can you rewrite the plans they have for you?

Warning: Angst, Fluff, Occasional Cursing

Inspired by the song Chemtrails Over the Country Club by Lana Del Rey

"I'm on the run with you, my sweet love

There's nothing wrong contemplating God

Under the chemtrails over the country club"

"Baby what's your sign?"

"You're in the wind, I'm in the water

Nobody's son, nobody's daughter

Watching the chemtrails over the country club"

Pedro's POV

The chatter of a hundred people and yet I still only hear your voice. Memories of your words, from years past.

You asked me what my sign was, I told you I was an Aries. You laughed and told me we shouldn't be friends, the stars say so. The stars say we're incompatible, we'd be at each other's throats. I'm a fire sign and you didn't need any more drama. I kissed you for the first time and told you I'd prove you wrong, you simply smiled and looked off to the chemtrails that flew over us.

Memories from years past.

I didn't have much to offer you but I told you that you could take my word. At that time, it was worth more than anything I could have given you.

"You want me to defy the stars?" You raised an eyebrow, a smile teasing your face.

"The stars can go fuck themselves." I told you and kissed you again.

We were so young. We were nobodies. Running through the concrete jungle, with your hand in mine. Sun dress and kisses at midnight convenience stores, splitting a hot dog on a summer day because we needed money for the show at 7.

We used to contemplate the meaning of life over a bottle on our little balcony. I asked you if you were happy and you smiled but did not reply.

"If you died today, would you be happy with the life you've lived?" You asked me instead.

"No." I told you. "There's so much more I want to do. I want to be somebody."

I didn't know it then but that was the moment I started to lose you.

Memories from years past.

I find myself sitting at a restaurant now, with more money to line my pockets, pats on the back from strangers. People know my name and it comes out in whispers, as they stare over their expensive plate, getting cold just to catch a glimpse of me.

A beautiful woman sits across from me. As if a movie star isn't a big enough draw, a woman like her only invites more gazes. She looks like she'd just stepped off a screen herself. She gives me all her attention, so much so that she does not register the envious stares from the others around her.

Her lips are moving, perhaps a funny anecdote came to mind or is she telling me about her sister's wedding again that she mentioned before? I cannot tell you, for my mind is elsewhere, with someone else.

"So would you like to come?" She smiles brightly at me, her perfect teeth sitting between her lips, painted in a dusty pink.

"Huh?" I snap out of my daze, embarrassed that I was clearly not paying attention.

"Jule's wedding, did you...want to be my date for the day?" She blushes, hopeful.

"Oh. I...uh. I don't know Kate. I have a pretty packed schedule coming up, I don't know if I'll have time." I try to make up an excuse.

"It's too early isn't?" She bites her lip sheepishly. "I'm sorry, I know we've only been dating for a few weeks, I shouldn't have sprung this up on you so fast."

"No no, please don't be silly. I love weddings!" I try to laugh it off. "It's just that, with the new movie coming up, I need to start preparing before we go into production."

"I understand." She nods with a smile, "Comes with the territory when you're dating a big movie star I guess." She looks at me, I'm not sure if she's anticipating a response but I reciprocate with a grin and wave at the waiter for another drink.

Soon enough, she excuses herself from the table to go to the ladies room and I'm left sitting alone at our spot. I grow tiresome of the incessant chattering from the tables around me and I massage the temples of head, wishing I was at home in the comfort of my bed with just the company of my television.

I see glances from a small table to the side of me, a group of young women clearly too shy to ask for a photograph, egging each other on to make the first move over to me. Their hopes quickly dashed as I feel a firm hand on my shoulder, turning me around.

"Pedro?" A familiar voice calls my name.

"Anthony! Fancy seeing you here!" My eyes widen as I pull an old friend down for a hug.

"It's my anniversary with Charlize, we're just celebrating! God I haven't seen you for so long!" He shakes his head, slowly looking me up and down, examining my so-called transformation. I've aged so much since we last we saw each.

"How long have you been here?" I ask.

"A couple of hours, I actually saw you before but I..uh...I didn't want to interrupt your date."

Date? I swallow the word whole.

"You lucky man. She's very pretty." He comments.

"Yeah, she is."

"You could seem a bit more interested though but those are Charlize's words, not mine." He raises his hands up, letting his wife take the blame.

"I must seem like an ass, don't I?" Poor Kate, how spoilt am I to show a woman like her so little interest. "I haven't dated for so long, it's just hard getting back into the scene that's all."

Anthony let's out an inaudible "oh" and I know he's thinking the same thing, I can practically hear the name sitting on his tongue, desperately wanting to come out.

"How is Y/N?" I break the ice, allowing the elephant in the room an escape before he suffocates along with me.

"She's good, very good actually. She's a documentary film maker now. Her work is amazing, you'd love it." Anthony couldn't help his excitement when speaking about you and I feel an intense pang of sadness and jealousy seeing his eyes light up. To see you, celebrate you. I wonder if you've aged like me or do you still look the same as how I remember. Do you still crinkle your nose every time you hear a bad joke? Do your eyes still get red and glassy when you look at the sky because you're wondering if anyone's looking down on you? I wish I knew.

"Listen, I have to go." Anthony looks back at his wife who gives me a polite wave from a distance.

"It was really good seeing you Anthony, I'm sorry we haven't spoken all these years. It's just with work..." I recycle that old excuse again.

"Don't worry about it...you made it! I know you worked really hard to get where you are now. I know you had to make a lot of sacrifices..." The last sentence, spoken so softly, it was almost drowned out. "I'm genuinely happy for you."

I nod, giving my friend one last hug before I ready for him to turn and leave, instead he hesitates and looks at me.

"Hey Pedro?"

"Yeah?"

"She still lives in the neighbourhood." He looks down at the scarf in his hand before patting me on my arm. "Just so you know."

With that, he waves me goodbye. Walking back to his wife, who he wraps his arm around. The way she naturally rests into him and slips her hand into his coat pocket as they exit the restaurant, I wonder if I'd ever have that level of intimacy with Kate.

__________________________________________________

I sent her home in a taxi. "I have an early morning and need to prep for some meetings", my excuse for her this time. Kate's disappointed expression, as I gave her a kiss on the cheek is the last thing on my mind.

Scuffing the cap of my leather shoes, I kick at the pavement. The world moves past me as I hide myself in the bubble of my thoughts. I have no sense of direction, my legs taking me to no intended destination, only letting the neon lights around guide me to where it desires.

Anthony's words were still ringing in my ears.

Would you want to see me?

My mind reminds me of the last time we were together.

"I don't know how much longer I can keep doing this, if I don't leave the city now, I may never get my chanc-"

"Get your chance to do what? Be a star?" You were sat deep in the corner of the sofa, far from me. Your voice calm and monotonous as you watched me pace up and down our tiny apartment. I couldn't decipher your expression, it was as if you knew what I was going to say.

"I want to make something out of my life! I want to prove to everyone and myself that I can make it Y/N. I don't want to waste my life away." I moved towards you, our presence separated by the little vintage coffee table I hated but still bought home because you loved it so much.

"Well then go, I don't want to hold you back from chasing your dreams."

"Y/N-"

"No. It's okay Pedro. I understand...I really do. I don't want to stop you from pursuing what you love." You got up from your spot, you seemed so small to me as you closed the gap between us. Your hand felt so light against my face, like you were disappearing before me. "Don't live in regret because of me."

"Y/N come wi-" I tried to hold you, hold you before you evaporated.

"No. My place is here." You took your hand away, moved back, the space between us grew more and more distant. "I don't have big dreams like you do. I like normality. I like living my life however I want it, do whatever I want, whenever I want. You asked me if I was happy...and I am."

"Would you still be happy without me?"

I stared at you. My gut sank because I already knew this was the end. You didn't have to tell me.

"I don't know..." You managed to smile, even through the gentle tears that formed in your eyes. "But I know you would be without me."

"That's not true." I tried to reach for you but you pulled away.

"We're very different people Pedro...I told you, we're incompatible. It's time we listened to the stars."

My thoughts are suddenly interrupted as I feel a hand rest softly on the small of my back.

"Hello sir, would you like to buy a rose?" An elderly woman smiles up at me. A child stands obediently nearby, holding a bouquet of individually wrapped stems, clearly past his bedtime but still helping Grandma late at night. The child looks tired, sad. Judging by the number of roses still in his hands, they must have had an unlucky day.

"How much for one?" I return her kind smile, taking out my wallet.

"$2. Thank you, thank you so much sir." The old woman sighs in relief calling the child over to bring the flowers for me to pick. Each stem had a handwritten tag with various cheesy sentiments adorned.

....A kiss in exchange for a rose...

...You're more beautiful than any flower but here's one to show you my love anyway...

....Would you be my Valentine?...

....Please forgive me, I was an idiot.

I chuckle at the last one before picking a rose at random.

I take out $100 and watch the old lady's eyes panic as she reaches in her purse to find change. Taking her hand firmly in mine, I assure her it wasn't necessary.

"I'll take one rose for the $100. You keep the rest of the flowers and have a good night okay?"

The woman looks at the child with her mouth agape and then back at me, clearly taken aback by the gesture.

"Sir, are you sure?"

"Yes, take the kid home and get some rest. This one rose itself is worth every dollar." I pat her hand which trembles in mine.

"Thank you! Thank you! Bless you and the woman who receives your rose!"

Taking the child's hand they quickly walk away, whispering to each other and disappearing into the night.

I stare at the flower in my hand and bring it closer to my face, studying the message on the tag.

...Let's defy the stars and write our own destiny.

I stand in the dark of night, illuminated only by the cafe lights ready to turn off for the day. My hand grips the stem as if it weighed a hundred tons yet afraid it would float away like a feather. The frantic honking of the traffic seems to taunt me, the laughter from the bars nearby seem to be mocking this idiot of a man standing in the middle of the streets, holding a flower he paid $100 for.

"Just do it!" I hear a young boy shout at his friend attempting a skateboard trick up the block.

Just do it. I repeat to myself. Just fucking do it.

"Taxi!"

_________________________________________________

I remember these steps, we used to sit here with the neighbours' kids. Charlie, I think that was his name? I remember little Charlie proposing to you with a plastic ring and threatening to get his kindergarten buddies on me, simply for existing. I can't help but laugh at that memory.

Everyone was in love with you, the young, the old. They couldn't help but fall for your charms, your kindness, the way you'd smile at them even if you've never spoken a word to each other. Everyone was under your spell, including me.

You told me you loved me on these steps.

I had gotten back from a bad audition and couldn't bear to go home to you. I sat here for hours until you saw me from the balcony and came down. You didn't ask me anything. You just sat with me as we watched the kids run up and down the block, racing each other, teasing each other. I looked at you and you gave me a kiss on the nose.

"I love you."

You said it so quietly at first that I pretended I didn't I understand.

You rolled your eyes and pulled my face into yours, telling me you loved me over and over again as you smothered me with your kisses.

That was one of the happiest moments of my life.

Walking past our faded figures, I enter the building and see that nothing has changed.

The walls were the same duck egg green. The bulletin board covered in layers of flyers and advertisement, some new, with plenty dated months back. I wouldn't be surprised if the audition ads I tried out for from years ago were still there.

The smell of various cuisines mingle together to form its own unique indecipherable aroma.

A comforting aroma.

I look to the elevator, still out of order. Obviously.

We only lived on the third floor, the stairs will be fine.

I prepare myself for the incline when a voice calls out to me.

"Where are you going?"

I turn around and see our old building superintendent, decked out in his uniform. Stanley.

"Stan! It's me Pedro! Wow, you're still here!" I walk to him.

"Who?" He looks me up and down, completely confused as to who the hell I am.

"Pedro from 3B upstairs? I used to live with Y/N...maybe you don't remember me because of the moustache." I rub the bottom of my nose sheepishly.

"No...I don't remember you."

Old Stanley, perhaps age is catching up to him.

"I'm just going to see Y/N." I try to resume my journey but he stops me once more.

"No entry into the building if you're not a resident!" He points to the sign on the wall.

"Since when was that a rule?" I throw my hand in the air.

"Since today. We have too many unsavoury men try to come into the building, how do I know if you really know Miss Y/L/N? I'm not letting any potential predators or burglars into the building."

"But Stan she-"

Pointing to the sign on the wall again, he raises an angry brow. Not wishing a full body beat down by ol' Stan, I take myself back out the building like a bad dog.

I sit on the steps, sighing in defeat. I try to convince myself that coming here is a mistake.

"Defy the stars...pfft! You've been in way too many movies Pedro." I mumble to myself, as I dig my thumb nail into the stem of the rose.

Perhaps we're only given the choice to rewrite our destiny but it doesn't mean destiny would just sit idly by and let you do whatever you want. It's probably for the best. What would I say anyway?

Running my hand through my hair, I get up to leave. The adrenaline from earlier had drained so quickly out of me, that its left me a fatigued mess. Move on Pedro, it's time to go home.

"Hey movie star." A voice calls from above. "You looking for me?"

Your hair falls past your face as you lean over the balcony and in that moment I feel my heart break into a million pieces.

There you are.

Standing before me, even more beautiful than when you left, if that is even possible.

You're wearing a simple white vest and grey shorts, one leg rubbing softly against the other. Your skin bears the warm orange glow reflected from the lights inside your apartment.

You look so raw, so delicate.

Every pulse in my body aches seeing you again.

"Wow." I breathe. "You look..."

You hide your laugh and I can see you blushing from behind your hand.

"Thanks. You look great too. I'm like the...um..." You rub under your nose with your finger.

"Thank you, I grew it out for a role but now people tell me I look like their grandma without it." I shrug, much to your amusement.

"What are you doing here?" You speak, more softly, more seriously.

How do I even respond to this question? I was out on a date with another woman but I bumped into our old friend who told me I should find you? Or should I go with I met an old woman and her kid, who I'm pretty sure were cupid's little minions, sent down to earth to give me a rose and to fuck with me?

"I was just in the neighbourhood. I wanted to see if you wanted to um...go out for a coffee?" I lie.

You look at me incredulously, clearly seeing through my bullshit.

"Everything is shut by now." You simply respond.

"Oh...well maybe we can just talk then?"

You tap the metal rails, where you lay your arms. Are you contemplating whether to come down or throw a bucket of water over me? I guess I'll have to wait and see.

Without saying a word, you disappear out of sight. The lights in your apartment switches off.

What does this mean? Are you off to bed?

Before I could ruminate any more, the doors open from behind me and you slip through.

God, you look even better up close.

My hands instinctively reach out to touch you but I withdraw quickly before you could see. You had wrapped yourself in a fleecy blanket, the threads a deep purple.

Without saying a word, you sit down on the step and I can only follow suit, my mind can no longer make decisions for itself it seems.

You smell the same, that same soft floral scent I used to love. The one I used to breathe in when I'd hold you close to me in bed because I didn't want you to leave for work.

Our knees are so close, they almost touch.

"So what did you want to talk about?"

For a minute I don't know how to respond, I just don't want to stop looking at you.

"I was...I was wondering if you were thinking about me?"

You laugh, I laugh too. Of course you weren't.

"I think about you all the time." You tell me so casually, it catches me off guard.

"You do?" I whisper in disbelief.

"It's hard not to when you're on every other billboard in the city."

Oh.

"I think about you all the time too Y/N."

You smile and look up at the sky. The night is aligned with many stars tonight and they all call for your attention but mine. I feel greedy staring at you but I'm simply making up for all the nights that I was alone without you, all those kisses I've shared with women that weren't you.

"What do you think the stars are telling us tonight?" I ask.

You grin and without looking back at me, you say "I think the stars are laughing at us."

"Do you think the stars have changed their mind about us?"

You finally turn to me, your eyes drop. "I don't think that's how it works Pedro."

"If this is the life the stars have planned for me, a life without you, then I don't want it Y/N."

"Pedro-"

"I thought if I made a name for myself, if people knew who I was, then I'd be sure of who I am...but who I'm meant to be, who I want to be...is to be with you." Your eyes meet mine, coloured with emotions you are scared to express. "I look for you everywhere I go Y/N, in every women I meet but you are always a world away."

"We don't even know each other anymore Pedro."

"You are the only one who has always known who I am, even before me Y/N. I'm still as strange and as wild as I have always been. I'm still as messy and as clumsy as I was before. I still love cheap corner store liquor and dancing terribly in public. I still look at chemtrails whenever they past me...because they remind me of you."

"Chemtrails are bad for you, they say they're chemicals." You tell me, your voice low and expressionless.

"If I die with you as my last thought, it won't be so bad."

I finally find the courage to reach for you and you don't recoil from me, you let me gently run my finger against the hair that falls down past your face. You close your eyes and I selfishly take you, pulling you towards me.

I rest my forehead against yours and I savour this moment where I can be close to you and not let it be a memory.

"What if I've changed?" You whisper.

"Well then I'll spend the rest of my life getting to know you again."

"If I told you to run away with me tonight, would you?" You open your eyes to see me, your expression as serious as ever.

"You're my home Y/N. I'll go wherever you go. Even if it's to another galaxy, we'll drive a little red Corvette into space together and leave this all behind."

You smile and tug on the bottom of your lip. "You think the stars would still allow us to go to space?"

"Fuck the stars." I say as I take your lips.

Oh, how I've missed the sweetness of your taste; in this moment you are spoiling me rotten. You wrap your arms around me and allow the blanket to drop from your shoulders. The only stars that mattered now are those in our eyes. They're telling me the future and it's you. It's always been you.

The sirens of the city and the plane overhead may be loud but I hear nothing over the sound of your heart beat.

You pull away and we both laugh.

In this moment, we are perfect. I am no longer the famous celebrity that belonged to everyone. I am not a son and you are no one's daughter.

We only belong to each other.

I see you shiver and look towards the door.

"Let's go inside." You get up and take my hand, guiding me back to our home. The one I've longed for ever since I left.

The building is quiet, everyone asleep by this hour but old Stan at his desk. I try to shuffle past as inconspicuously as I could, my hand entwine with yours.

"Welcome back Mr Pascal." Stanley greets us as clear as day, his head not even looking up from above his phone.

"Wha- so you do remember me!"

Sly old dog.

Stanley doesn't respond and concentrates on his screen instead.

You shake your head and pull me up the steps but not before I set down my lucky rose on the desk.

"Good night Stan."

I call out before I chase my love up the stairs, both of us ready to write our next chapter together. I don't know what it will entail but I know if you're in it, it will be the greatest adventure I'll ever take.

"Kids these days." Stan sighs, closing the article on his phone and clicking on a familiar app. Putting his feet up, he relaxes with a smile on his face as the Mandalorian theme song begins to play.

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #the mandalorian #din djarin #javier pena #pedro pascal x reader #narcos #ww1984 #maxwell lord #oberyn martell #game of thrones #frankie morales #triple frontier #pedro pascal imagine #fanfiction #chemtrails #lana del rey

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sanchoyo · 3 years ago

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danny phantom season 2, episode 17-20 thoughts! finishing up season two! the finale is the THIRD 2-PARTER OF SEASON 2. that's so many! I wonder how many season 3 will have?

see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3

-UERGH WHY DOES VLAD HAVE AN AI WITH MADDIE'S FACE ON IT. SOOO CREEPY. AND MORE 'CREATIONS' waiiiit. vlad is Dr. Frankenstein! (despite his ghost design obviously referencing vampires) HE HAS 'CREATIONS' HE MAKES THEN WONT TAKE REAL RESPONSIBILITY FOR!!! this bitch.

-danny was late and his friends immediately start going off about how hes inconsiderate, and has been treating them like sidekicks??? he just overslept, my god. chill. even if he has, be nicer about talking about it with him?? he really can't help that he sometimes has to chase the ghosts, or has a secret identity to protect...

-'what kind of ghost haunts a miniature golf course' umm. me as a ghost. next question

-imagine going home and theres a tiny child on your bed claiming to be your cousin. with as many cousins I have, I would probably believe her. but the 'ran away from home' BIT....SHES 12?? SHES SO TINY. I hate that they have her belly out in her ghost form, but I like how her colors are asymmetrical. something about her design...maybe the proportions?? are weird to me...anyway danny was good to feed her, but he shouldve taken her to his parents FIRST. or, tbh, probably jazz. (JAZZ DIDNT EVEN GET TO MEET HER!!! NOOO. I mean she said she'll be BACK BUT STILL)

-ANYWAY. shes voiced by AnnaSophia Robb, the girl who was in because of winn dixie, played as violet from charlie and the chocolate factory, and was the girl from bridge to terrabithia. (the movie that made me cry hysterically when I was 12 and I never watched it again because it Broke Me!) thats super cool.

-vlad sucks: the episode, basically. what's new!! I love how he's like, I'm Not A Villain. *immediately cuts to him torturing danny to make him transform, to get mid-transformation DNA, to perfect a Clone.* *immediately shows that he doesnt give a shit about his new daughter Dani and just wants a ''more perfect clone'' and will put her in danger to get that. will let her DIE to get that*

-Dani is danny's clone and is a girl? transgenderism....one of them has to be trans. or they both are.

-dani just. leaving at the end. WHAT? SHES 12. DONT JUST. NO!!! SHE WAS PROBABLY JUST BORN, A MONTH AGO AT MOST, RIGHT?? SHE NEEDS...SOMEWHERE TO LIVE. MONEY? FOOD?? A FAMILY?? AN EDUCATION???! WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE'S LEAVING!!! OKAY BYE I GUESS!!! D: concern!!!

-the next ep opens with skulker chasing a ghost down. ...does skulker count as a ghost hunter in the way valerie and danny do? I mean, sure, he hunts the good guys too, but he. he hunts ghosts...also, we haven't seen his Real Form since his debut episode! tiny...

-the guys in white are back! ngl, I assumed they were a gag for that one episode. you're telling me they might actually be a threat? ok.

-valerie in her lil nasty burger uniform looks so cute!! glad shes not in that mascot uniform this time. I guess she stopped hiding that she's working there now?

-gregor having white hair, dressed in black and white...and green eyes...sam has a Type, I guess.

-danny being unnecessarily hostile about gregor. danny!!! hes been nice so far. he looks a little...tall to be 14, but. danny doesnt know anything about him! (he does Suspect, but...you cant just spy on people and be rude to them from a hunch.) also, gregor kissed her, and when she freaked out, he was like 'oh no!! sorry, we can take it slow! I understand!' which was NICE. I hate jealousy plots still tho.

-altho. umm. tucker, being concerned about danny spying on them??? SAM AND YOU WERE SPYING ON DANNY AND VALERIE A FEW EPISODES AGO!!!!! im not saying its RIGHT, but dont be a hypocrite!!! AND THEN SAM BEING MAD ABOUT IT, TOO.

-DANNY IS A 7 ON THE SCALE OF ECTOPLASMIC POWER!!! out of 10? so I want to know where the other ghosts rank...I mean it's a list from the guys in white, so, it may not even be accurate, like, they havent seen ALL of his powers, have they?

-Lancer being like 'im not cooperating with the FEDS' until they said they could access his tax records. they already did that joke with jack, but like, its still funny. kings of tax evasion.

-tucker's aggressive third-wheeling. but gregor being super into it. gregor/tucker is the real ship here. then gregor kissing danny on both cheeks after hugging him. bi poly king gregor. (he does turn out to be a liar with a phoney accent. unsurprising, BUT THE CONCEPT OF HIM BEING GENUINE AND THEM ALL DATING IS FUN)

-THE...GUYS IN WHITE THINKING GREGOR IS DANNY PHANTOM. LMAOOO. GET HIS ASS. or,, Elliot. lmfao

-sam saying tucker is part of the package because theyre friends was super sweet <3 but also 'part of the package'...polyships are obviously the solution to these dumb jealousy/love triangle plots.

-danny crashed a whole plane. the collateral damage...

-is he....

-you know....

.... (ITS NOT GAY IF YOU'RE DOING IT TO PRETEND TO BE SOMEONE YOU'RE NOT, AND LIE TO A GIRL. RIGHT? he was getting a little too into pretending to enjoy tucker's company, and the above...c'mon, guy.)

-lmao, freakshow is in actual prison. I didn't expect a follow up, or for him to show back up! in the finale of this season, too!

-THE SICK TATTOO GHOST IS NAMED LYDIA!!! more Lore On her. freakshow seemed genuinely concerned about her. also, is she mute? I don't think she talked the first time we saw her, either. and we didn't know freakshow 'envied' ghosts, either, the first time, we just knew he was controlling them. interesting!

-...they literally stole the infinity gauntlet from marvel and called it the reality gauntlet. is that legal. what the fuck. even with the gems in the lil slots, having different powers...they had freakshow in jail, but didnt check his pockets??! hes just still in his lil outfit??? what kind of ...oh, its in amity park. yeah, all of the adults are idiots, okay, sure.

-'freakshow!' 'in the anemic flesh!' dude take some iron pills then. also, sure, the red eyes could be contacts for his aesthetic, but the whites of his eyes are yellow! does he have jaundice?! he severely needs more...like, every kind of vitamin. (this is what im worried about as freakshow attacks danny with giant robots)

-again, goth circus is a sick theme, and I love his goth train.

-oh FUCK every single person saw danny transform. on a stage. including his parents via TV. oh god. the guys in white and immediately like 'youre coming in for experiments!' SCARY. at least the crowd is willing to help him to escape...perks of now being a local celeb! even the kids at school are accepting :) this is what, the third time his family has found out? its always been an alt timeline tho. and danny fully intending to just rewrite things again instead of...I dunno, trying to roll with it this time? hes really worried his family won't accept him, huh...

-'maybe our son IS THE GHOST BOY, but its not as if our family's ghostly activities have EVER PUT YOUR FAMILIES IN DANGER' maddie. mmmmmmmmmmmm. okay.

-danny 100% prepared to run away from home because of this :( oh :( and saying his parents are 'looking for him, or a scalpel to dissect him with' ouch...

-THE GUYS IN WHITE TRYING TO ARREST A 14 YEAR OLD. fuck da feds.

-side note (another one about voice actors...) freakshow's voice actor, Jon Cryer, was lex luthor in pretty much every DC tv show, which is why I recognized his voice, because my dad loves those shows so I've seen a good bit of them without seeking them out...)

-the old man saying 'hey, i still had minutes left!' and danny saying 'you gotta watch those roaming charges!' about danny destroying the people in the diner's phones so no one could report seeing him...would kids today understand these things. can you even BUY minutes anymore...I remember my first phone being a flip phone, and the fact I always had minutes when my sister ran out super fast, because I didnt have friends calling or texting me like she did...:/

-the fentons being genuinely like 'why didnt danny trust us and tell us this, we love him :(' and JAZZ LAYING INTO THEM WITH THE 'DISSECTION/MOLECULE BY MOLECULE' LINES. LITERALLLLY. they need to apologize

-technically, lydias stronger than you! -jazz lesbianism moments! when did you even learn her name!!! but also get freakshows ass. lydia is also cooler looking. looove her design sm still.

-jazz psychoanalyzing freakshow... (also, her also having ghost envy? au where jazz is a ghost!! id like to see it)

-im glad the kids still got to go to their respective vacation things, even if they cant really stick around and enjoy them much...

-furry: confirmed. (also tucker calling her hot. tucker is a furry confirmed)

-danny being mad someone at the comic con is selling comics of him without permission, lmfao. give him his royalties!

-freakshow > thanos because hes a drama clown and does use his gauntlet to be FLASHY AND DRAMATIC.

-jazz's 'USE PYSCOLOGY' to danny about freakshow LMAOO. AND THEN IT WORKING. but, oh, freakshow's ghost form sucks. I like him as a clown better tbh. good thing danny took away his ghost powers!

-his parents hugging him and saying theyre proud :"( and saying 'of course you lied to us, we never gave you a reason not to!' and saying they were in the wrong basically for always talking about hurting ghosts aaaa :""(

-then he WIPED THEIR MEMORIES AGAIN!!! FUCK. I can understand him wiping the goverments/student bodies' memories, but why his parents?? they were being accepting!! ARGHHH. season 3 couldve been them all trying to adjust to them knowing!

-I know, on a meta level the showrunners probably wanted to just reset things to the status quo of him having a secret identity. But. We've been doing that for (2) seasons, I'd love if season 3 could be like, his parents adjusting to this and trying way harder to learn more and accept it (and the shenanigans that could come from that) and for fun, if he didn't wipe the students memories, it could be him being popular for a while, then everyone slowly realizing, oh, he's still Danny. Like. he might have ghost powers but hes Just The Same Guy instead of putting him on a pedestal (and seeing them all try and help him hide it from the giw/people who don't know!!)

-fuck they didn't even explain WHY he wiped everyone except sam, tucker and jazz's memories. he just Did It right when his parents were saying they loved/accepted him!! and sam and tucker didnt question it at all!!! HELLO??? very annoyed about this turn of events.

-anyway. onto season 3! I know its shorter than the first two seasons, and is the last season... I might just do it in 2 bursts if I can... :3c depends on the episodes' content and how much I want to say about each!

#sanchoyorambles #danny phantom #dp thoughts

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fumiko-matsubara · 4 years ago

Text

Expectations and Fantasies

“You know…” Kaho suddenly started, absentmindedly playing with the bending straw that she had used for her now finished iced-tea.

Sitting across the table before her, Ryuunosuke perked up at her voice, tearing his gaze off his phone screen. He slightly tilted his head in mild curiosity, with his usually sharp eyes opened wide, blinking owlishly after. “Yeah?” He gently prompted, his initially surprised face slowly contorting into a soft smile.

Kaho bit the insides of her left cheek as she silently stared back at him. It had been a few months since they had formally met, and yet, she couldn’t really see herself getting used to the stark contrast between DREAM’s wild lead guitarist Ryuunosuke and the Ryuunosuke who was softly smiling at her as he waited for her to continue.

They began hanging out outside the live house every other day after the rain had stopped pouring. It was surprisingly Ryuunosuke’s idea, saying something along the lines of “wanting to stray away from the stress of school and having to constantly put up with Eiji’s bullshit,” which was totally valid and she completely agreed that he really needed to take a break. But she couldn’t help but to wonder why he wanted to spend his break with her, as delighted as she felt when she first received the offer. She supposed that he had plenty of friends outside the band that he could’ve asked instead. Like Miki, for example, as they seemed to be close enough to casually hang out together all the time.

Speaking of Miki, the stylist had been particularly excited when she heard the news (which also made Kaho wonder why Ryuunosuke felt the need to inform her about it, but she decided that it's a concern she could ponder over at another time), that she took it upon herself to pick out outfits for both of them, even having them pose together for a picture once she was done. The memory of Miki going over to her home and practically raiding her closet was still fresh on Kaho's mind. She assumed that Miki was just enthusiastic since the hang out was just a rare opportunity for her to style two people who she (legit) made her personal models in the same setting.

But the way the stylist came about it made Kaho think it was for a different reason, and the thought itself made her feel extremely giddy the first time she realized it.

Who could blame her though? Spending the whole day together, with Ryuunosuke planning where they would go, while wearing seemingly matching outfits to boothー if the whole situation was taken out of context, it almost looked like they were on a date.

Kaho blinked, snapping out of her thoughts. Now is not the time to start fantasizing! Especially since she had yet to know the reason why she was the one who Ryuunosuke invited of all the people he knew.

Her eyes briefly darted between Ryuunosuke's eyes and the straw she had been playing with. Perhaps he wouldn't mind it if she asked him, right?

"For some reason," she finally continued after a minute of pausing. She leaned towards the table, resting her chin onto her free palm, as her other hand was still preoccupied with the bending straw she's playing with. "When the person I had a crush on also began to take interest in me and asked me out, that crush I had just vanishes completely as if I never had one in the first place."

Wait, what?

Kaho immediately lifted her head, her eyes widening in alarm. 'Idiot! You're supposed to ask him why he's interested in hanging out with you, not talk about people who're interested in you!'

She mentally sighed, her lips slowly contorting into a tight smile. 'Whatever, the topic's not too far off. I can just find an opening to ask him later.'

She returned her gaze back to Ryuunosuke, only to see him eyeing her in surprise. He probably wasn't expecting that crushes would be the first thing they would talk about to strike up another conversation, thirty minutes after their last one.

"It's weird, right?" Kaho nervously laughed.

At her voice, Ryuunosuke suddenly blinked, as if he was just snapping out of his reverie. "I don't think it is." He answered.

He then gave her yet another soft smile. "You probably just enjoy doing the chasing and that's not weird at all."

"Probably…" Kaho trailed off, staring down at her bending straw in thought. She didn't think of it that way and, in a way, it does make sense. After pondering over it for a few moments, she locked eyes with Ryuunosuke once again.

"There's also the fact that, once that person began noticing and showing more of their personality to me, I tend to get disappointed because they're usually far from what I've fantasized about them," she explained softly, proceeding to twirl a lock of her hair with her index finger.

"And that really rubs me off the wrong way for some reason…" she sighed.

It took Ryuunosuke a few seconds of staring into space before he mouthed a big 'oh' when he understood what she was saying. "Ahh… it's that kind of disappointment."

"But romantic fantasies are usually just like that, especially if it's towards a person whose personality is what you've hardly known about them." He briefly quirked an eyebrow at her in mild confusion, likely wondering why she was making a big deal out of it. "And that's pretty normal, actually. Nothing weird about that at all."

"I see…" Kaho trailed off. Somehow, that made her feel slightly better, even when it wasn't her main concern in the first place. She discreetly smiled at that.

Ryuunosuke leaned back to his seat and faced the ceiling. "Though, it makes me wonder why you dated Maehara…" he softly muttered, but mostly to himself.

However, Kaho managed to pick that up and let out a gasp, her eyes wide opened in surprise. "Huh?"

"Ah w-what?" Ryuunosuke suddenly jolted when he realized that he said that outloud and was heard. He quickly tore off his gaze from the ceiling and looked at her in alarm, his eyes opened just as wide and in panic.

"I-I'm sorry! I didn't mean to say that!" He hastily apologized.

Kaho quickly snapped out of her surprise and shook her head in response. "Ah no no, it's okay! You're not overstepping anything since it's not that personal."

She then smiled at him reassuringly. "Also, we're both on good terms now, so you don't have to dodge the topic."

Ryuunosuke hesitantly eyed her, his eyebrows furrowed. "...are you sure?" He gently asked.

Kaho let out a hum with a smile in response, nodding her head almost eagerly.

That seemed to reassure him enough to relax his tense posture. He let out a long relieved smile.

"I see… That's good then."

Kaho smiled at him in mild amusement. Sometimes he can be too caring that he tends to worry for the smallest reasons, but she supposed that it's one of his charms. "So what were you about to ask?"

"Ah, it's just that…" Ryuunosuke slightly shifted in his seat. "I don't want to make it seem like I was trying to get something out of you…"

Kaho shook her head. "I'm telling you, it's fine."

"Well, if you insist." Ryuunosuke sighed, leaning towards the table. "Now where was I..?" He rested his chin onto the back of his hand, briefly looking up at the ceiling in thought. "You had a crush on him first, right? And he was the one who asked you out?"

"Uh huh!" Kaho answered, but mostly to confirm that he remembered it right, as she had already told him that herself a while back.

"Since that was the case, he must've felt the same way as you do then." He then returned his gaze towards her. "So why did you date him?"

For a brief moment, they stared at each other's eyes, unblinking.

"Well…" It was Kaho's turn to look up at the ceiling in thought, breaking off the eye contact. "In Maehara's case, when I used to have a huge crush on him, even with just watching him from afar, it didn't take me long to figure out the general idea of what kind of person he is," she answered truthfully, letting out a giggle. "It's mostly because he's very upfront."

Ryuunouske chuckled in amusement at that. "You're not wrong. That guy's personality just screams loudly even from a distance." He mused.

Kaho grinned. "Right? So when we began dating and that I'm seeing more of his personality, I wasn't even the least disappointed since he's exactly as how I imagined him to be." Her grin then softened. "Like even just when he suddenly asked me out, I was already seeing parts of his personality at that moment. So I said yes."

She returned her gaze back to Ryuunosuke, only to see him gazing softly back at her, the softness in his smile matching his eyes.

"That's really nice… you must've had a great time with him then, huh?"

Kaho nodded. "Yeah, he's a really good guy."

"Even with what went down last month, which sadly didn't end well at that time, it doesn't change the fact that I genuinely enjoyed his company when we were still together." She admitted with a small smile.

"Good for you, then." Ryuunosuke's soft expression then brightened. "I'm glad you're taking it well."

After a few seconds of comforting silence, Kaho also leaned towards the table. She then also rested her chin onto the back of her hand, a rather mischievous glint evident in her eyes. "So, what about you then?"

Ryuunosuke stiffened. "Eh?"

"It's kind of unfair if I'm only the one who talks about things like this, you know?" Kaho mused, smirking.

Ryuunosuke faltered at that. "W-well thats…"

"Oh, come on! Don't be shy~" Kaho grinned teasingly. "What's Ryuunosuke like when he has a crush on someone?" She prodded further, leaning towards him.

Ryuunosuke leaned away and turned to the side, avoiding her gaze at all cost. "The thing is… I don't really get crushes…" He hesitantly admitted.

"Really?" Kaho's teasing smile quickly turned into a confused frown. That was very surprising. "Seriously? Not even once?"

Ryuunosuke turned back to face her again, albeit a bit slowly. "Perhaps I did…" He finally said after a moment of hesitation. "But then again, I could just be confusing it with admiration or respect." He gazed downwards, stroking his chin with his fingers in deep thought.

"Wait." Kaho raised an eyebrow at him. "Who are we talking about here?"

He looked up at her. "It's Ayaka." He nonchalantly admitted.

"Ohh!" Kaho mused at that. It makes sense if she thought about it. They've known each other for three years and have been working together to keep the band going. Surely there are plenty of things that Ryuunosuke would notice about the older girl. "Well, I can't blame you on that. That senpai is hella pretty and smart."

"Hell yeah, she is." Ryuunosuke almost immediately agreed with her and Kaho had to briefly wonder why he sounded so passionate just then. "To be honest with you, it's kind of pissing me off actually." He then admitted.

Kaho chuckled in amusement. "And why is that?"

"Like, think about it. She's pretty, she's smart, fairly popular, and she can pull off any kind of clothing no matter how questionable her fashion sense is!" He exclaimed frustratingly.

"Anything about her personality, though?" Kaho asked, raising an eyebrow.

Ryuunosuke quickly dropped his frustrated expression, staring at her dryly instead in response.

"That's not a good trait." He deadpanned.

"Oi, don't let her hear you say that!"

He waved her off, though. "Not to mention, she's good at biology. That one is really unfair."

"Well, I'm not that good at biology myself, but is that really something you should be mad about the most?" Kaho asked, resting her cheek onto both of her palms.

"Yes?" Ryuunosuke raised an eyebrow at her incredulously. "You know what? She's just probably on my mind because I'm jealous of her." He decided.

"Oh really?" Kaho mused.

Ryuunosuke stubbornly nodded. "Yeah! I mean, of course, I still have my respect for her. But every time I think about Ayaka, the first emotion I feel is always jealousy." He crossed his arms and let out a small huff. "I'm probably just jealous."

Kaho just chuckled at him in pure amusement.

The topic had swerved off enough that there's no point in trying to find an opening to ask him that question, anyways. But Ryuunosuke was becoming more talkative, so Kaho couldn't really bring herself to suddenly switch topics, which can clearly throw him off, as evident as what happened earlier.

For now, she should just enjoy the passionate performance that's being presented right in front of her, seeing as there's not a hint of when Ryuunosuke will stop rambling at this point.

She can just ask him at another time.

My other ChiHo works: Masterlist

#I've had this in my drafts for months now #and i forgot if I was planning to continue writing this or if I'm already done with it 💀#so yeah I decided to just post it ahaha #assassination classroom #ansatsu kyoushitsu #chiba ryuunosuke #ryuunosuke chiba #tsuchiya kaho #kaho tsuchiya #chiho #my writing #Ryuu: that should be believable enough... right? I'm really hoping that ayaka wouldn't learn I just used her as a scapegoat.....

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wintrgarden · 5 years ago

Text

a latte for your thoughts?

// a fan fiction dedicated to the winter garden couple of hospital playlist //

-----

"Ikjun, do you have my warm cup of hot latte?" Jeong won said, while walking towards him in the hospital's open space to take a break during his night shift.

"Here. Isn't it tiring in the PICU these days?" Ikjun replied with worried eyes.

"A little. I don't mind it though.

Yah, do you remember my liver transplant patient, Mina?"

"Yeah, the one where we had to cut the donor's liver to a quarter because it won't fit the tiny baby's body. What about her?"

"I went to her a while ago. She woke up, and winked at me like this!" Jeongwon lit up whenever he talks about his patients' recovery. His eyes sparkled and his smile widened. He repeated the wink so much that it could have been mistaken for a blink. In fact, he was so giddy that he didn't notice someone approaching.

"Professor Ikjun? The test results of patient Jiwon are out. Could you take a look at it?"

Jang Gyeoul, the third year resident of General Surgery has been standing there for a few moments, waiting for the two professors to actually notice.

While hiding his laugh, Ikjun followed suit. Jeongwon was left on the bench with an unwavering smile on his face.

Looking at him, one would think that his drink was too sweet to make him smile like that. Eavesdropping on their conversation would transform him into a humanitarian. But to delve into his thoughts --- now that, that's a different story.

It's nice to actually see an angel, once in a while. Just enough to keep me on my feet. I might be even enthralled by its eyes that don't wink but are enveloped with fascinating halo-like things. Even if this angel doesn't have wings, it has the most power to chase evil away. I wasn't sure if this angel could save me --- until it actually did.

------

"Yah, Ahn Jeongwon, are you sleeping here again?" Junwan said, while entering their shared office.

"O~ I just finished my night shift. I just lied down."

"Have you eaten?"

"I'll eat later."

"I also haven't eaten yet. Let's eat breakfast."

"Will you stop bugging me if I eat?" Junwan then pulled Jeongwon out of the cot, and dragged him to the packed cafeteria to fall in line.

------

"One iced latte, please. Oh, and a sandwich."

With the same baggy eyes and pale skin, Gyeoul was ordering her morning coffee. Just enough to keep her awake until she gets home.

"Annyeonghaseyo~" She greeted the two professors.

"De~" Jeongwon said, while Junwan nodded in response.

CODE BLUE --- CS. 3RD FLOOR. CODE BLUE --- CS. 3RD FLOOR.

Without a beat, Junwan, a Cardiothoracic Surgery Professor, left hurriedly. Jeongwon was then left alone. Gyeoul took her order and searched for a seat.

"One warm cup of hot latte and a pancake, please."

After getting his order, Jeongwon followed through and tried to find his way in the crowd. It was full of doctors and nurses waiting to start their morning shifts, so the noise was understandable.

"Professor! Here!" Gyeoul pointed to a newly vacant seat in front of her. The morning rush got the best of them that Jeongwon didn't think twice and made his way.

The crowd was boisterous. Jeongwon and Gyeoul's silence was awkward. It was not the kind of environment you'd want after a 12-hour shift.

But it was all worth it. At least for one of them.

"How was the Emergency Room last night?" Jeongwon blurted after taking a bite of his pancake.

"It's okay. There were a lot of unpredictable cases, most of which were tiring, as usual." Gyeoul's detailed answer was so calm. It seemed that the Professor's unexpected friendliness didn't bother her.

"Do you have someone to take you home?"

"What? No. I can go by myself." With a polite tone, Gyeoul showed her surprise with the question.

"I'll give you a ride home."

"No, you don't need to---"

"I insist. I still haven't bought you the meal you asked from me, anyway. Can a ride home suffice?"

Gyeoul was bewildered. But with the professor's kind nature, it seemed like something he would do for literally anyone. He wasn't called the "Buddha" for nothing, anyway.

-----

"It's that apartment on the right, Professor."

"This one?"

"Yes. Thank you for the ride."

"It's not a problem. The next time we catch ourselves on a rough patch, I can take you home again."

Gyeoul smiled. Her first that day. Then, she opened the door to get out.

"Oh, shit! I forgot!" The car stopped. Jeongwon's shock even surprised Gyeoul.

"Why, Professor? What happened?"

"I totally forgot about it. I was scheduled to get my car battery change the other week, then I forgot and was planning to do it today."

Sleeping in the cot that morning wasn't just to save time to rest up. He actually had long, overdue chores and was saving some energy to do them.

"Do you have a contact to a car battery seller?" Gyeoul asked.

"Yeah, I'll contact them now."

It was still early in the morning, around 6 o'clock. The service opened at 9 o'clock, so delivery wasn't possible after an hour or so.

Gyeoul stayed with him until things got settled. It was getting chilly, and the overwhelming fatigue got the best out of Jeongwon.

"Professor, you could rest a little in my place... if you like. You can sleep while waiting."

Jeongwon hesitated a bit, but decided to give in.

------

"I'll just get an extra pillow and some blankets." said Gyeoul, while Jeongwon helped in fixing the convertible sofa bed in her living room.

Once fixed, he sat and removed his shoes.

"You live alone?" he asked Gyeoul once she got back.

"Yes, for a while now." she replied as she handed him the pillow.

"Ah, I see."

"I'll just be in my room. You can call me if you need anything."

"Thank you... Also, I'm sorry for being so troublesome." His shy look gave him away.

"It's nothing, don't worry." Gyeoul smiled, and went into her room.

Jeongwon lied down. He couldn't believe what was happening --- and how the situation could naturally give a wrong impression. If he told Ikjun about this, he would make fun of him and joke about how he got things to escalate so quickly. Junwan would tap him on the back and commend him for finally picking up some tricks of his. Songhwa would be very much amused, and would romanticize the whole situation. Meanwhile, Seokhyeong would remind him that he's an OB-GYN Professor, and that he delivers babies very well. He would be of service to Jeongwon if ever he needed one.

His thoughts started to tone down, and after no time, he was asleep.

-------

"Professor?"

......

"Professor? I fixed some lunch. Do you want to eat?" Gyeoul wore an apron over some loose shirt and pajamas now, and sun was already high up.

Jeongwon looked at his wrist watch.

2:24 PM.

He quickly sat up.

"I'm sorry, did the service arrive? I must have been in a deep sleep."

"Yes, they arrived a few hours ago. I tried to wake you, but you were soundly asleep."

"I'm really sorry. You had to pay them, didn't you? I'll just pay you back."

"The receipts are there, over the table."

Jeongwon went to get them, and was distracted with the smell of food coming from the kitchen.

"Professor, I fixed some lunch for us, if you want to eat..."

He felt ashamed to take another offer, but hearing his stomach grumble made him look the other way, again.

Gyeoul was already fixing the table for two, while Jeongwon sat quietly and contemplated how much trouble he caused her all in a single day.

"I'm really sorry... I meant to wake up, seriously. I was just really tired from last night."

"It's okay." Gyeoul said with a chuckle. "I'm not holding anything against you, Professor." she added as she handed out his chopsticks.

"Thank you for the meal." he then said.

Everything was new to Ahn Jeongwon. He didn't need to wipe the table, or arrange the food, or even wear an apron. He didn't even need to worry if he was going to get enough food, as everything was already at his disposal. This new scenario keeps him gushing.

Being alone with a girl, in her apartment, eating her cooked food, and feeling something that only grown-ups alone in an enclosed space would feel. It wasn't like this was the first time something like this is happening, he often said to himself. It somehow eased his discomfort.

All while knowing the truth that this is in fact the first time.

But it's not like Jeongwon didn't have the opportunity and ability to; he just chose not to. His faith led him to a different path, and he was decisive to go this way. For the longest time, this weighed more than any choice he had to make in his life. But this time, something, or perhaps someone, was gonna tip the scale.

-----

"Yah! Jang Gyeoul! What's this?" Chu Minha screamed as Gyeoul entered the GS Department, in time for another night shift.

Someone left iced latte for her. With a double bacon sandwich. And some patches to ease pain. It came with a written note, saying:

"To my Good Samaritan. Thank you~

---- Ahn Jeongwon"

The handwriting made Gyeoul smile.

"Why did Pediatric Surgeon Prof. Ahn Jeongwon gave you coffee? And why are you smiling?"

"Nothing. It's just to repay a good deed."

"That's the most vague yet unsuspicious answer I've ever heard! Good deeds really cannot be questioned at all. I wish someone would also give me coffee." Minha wouldn't stop, but Gyeoul wasn't listening either.

She focused on the note. And the coffee. And the sandwich.

While remembering the long day with Ahn Jeongwon.

#hospitalplaylist #wintergarden #fanfiction #ahnjeongwon #janggyeoul #shinhyunbin #yooyeonseok

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yuvon-writes-letters · 3 years ago

Note

Hey guys :)

Maybe I'm going chronological for one time, so I can sort my thoughts easier.

Yeah, Goldie's much mire active than I would've thought, too. But they did all those things to keep me alive and kind of save, since we still don't know who they are exactly working against. (I mean, we don't know who Goldie exactly is either, but you get my point)

Honestly, I am pretty sure the TSB timeline is continuing, at least if my theory that Goldie just set me back in an alternate timeline is true. In this case I feel sorry for TSB, though..Extremely sorry. He still was 'my' Jake back then, even though he acted weird in the end (maybe was manipulated by entities). I mean, if what he wrote was true he went with authorities. And in the end..this could've been his downfall.

And yeah, maybe I'm not exactly safe, but I just have to go back. If I go, and if I lose my job, I have some things to sort out. And Jake luckily agreed with me that clearing up my desk isn't the worst thing I can do before leaving. We're still thinking about a location, which I could luckily deside myself. Max agreed on that. Even though he still has some doubts. (I mean, of course...His cousin opened the door with bruises all over her face.) He did promise to not ask any questions until I feel ready, though. That gives myself and Jake some time to figure that out.

And also, Jake is right! We have three Jakes and three smart people. YUVON. And of course Goldie, like you said Yu :) And some information about the previous timeline. (And that was it with being chronological)

So yeah, like I said, Max and I'll go. And I also think we can be pretty certain now that the message came from Goldie not the MWAF (which is relieving). I saw the messages and they didn't make Jake the bad guy. I honestly just don't think I can quote them yet. (They're too good, but I probably start daydreaming if I do) But they talk about Jake being an important part of my life and my heart and Max protecting me when he cannot. My dear cousin jumped to conclusions when he saw my bruised face. About Max' phone...I'll probably throw it in a river or something if he brings it with him. I told him not to, also because of Jake (he's not only worried about the MWAF apparently...He didn't exactly say it out loud, but I think it's pretty obvious) but he loves this device.

And I emphasize with you about the being kidnapped thing, you'll manage it, I know it :) And if I need to jump dimensions and box some sense into your Crow-Crew xD

No but for real, you can do that. I know it :)

Jake, find a good point in time to talk to her. But do it :)

Otherwise, I still think the 'underlying desire' theory is a possibility! But, like always in the moment, we could be wrong.

As for my stasis, I really do not wish to talk to more people who think I've been kidnapped. And I am a bit scared that could somehow lead to either them or me being in more danger again. But for now we have to wait.

I for now will pack some important things and paper & pens xD I don't want to leave y'all behind :P

Liska🐾🔥

[A screenshot is glued to the back of the letter and the quick sentence "Jake wants to talk to Jake" is written above]

Hello Jake, it is a pleasure to meet you. I am not quite sure in which way Liska will handle giving you my message, but she promised me to not read it for now.

I don't know whether she told you before or not, but as far as I am concerned she realised I am not only worried about the MWAF chasing her.

With me breaking out of this stasis I am sure that my followers aren't that far behind. And I know you can't do anything from where you are, but cross checking way to protect her doesn't seem to bad to me. Especially since we are similar but still fairly different from each other. At least it seems like that from what I have read.

For my part, I recently improved and updated Nym-OS which allows me access to Liskas whereabouts. If Yuvon should read this, she knows and agrees to it.

Still I am yet stuck on one little detail: I am trying to help Nym-OS in counterattacking. So, even though I am sure you already knoe this yourself, Nym-OS gets the ability to access location of the people attacking Liskas phone. I am almost done with that, so we are able to see a bit easier if and where people are that could be a danger.

Do you have any other ideas for ways I could help? Or even improve what I am doing momentarily. I wouldn't normally ask this since I know and trust my skills, but I think that this is fairly different from a 'normal situation'.

~ Jake

Lis,

Um. I don't know if you've seen the newest person to send in a letter, but we now have an issue.

Jessy, if you're reading this, I was sort of trying to avoid talking about this right away but I'm sort of trapped in a weird place, and Jake's here too because I'm a dumbass. I did not, so you know, let him read your letter or my reply. I figured you wouldn't want that. Sorry for dancing around the issue earlier :/ But at least you can get a good sample of the complete insanity we go through on the regular now!

Yeah... you're getting thrown into the deep end right now, aren't you. Sorry. There's no way to ease into this. You should probably either stop reading these entirely or start reading the letters from the beginning, so this will all at least make some sense. The first letter should start with the words "To whoever reads this," just so you know you get the right one.

Back to you, Lis. Yeah, I feel pretty bad for TSB Jake too. I honestly can't imagine being in his position right now.

Alright. So, you can choose the place. Great! There's way less chance of you being caught that way...

Tragedies just seem to be happening to all us Duskwood detectives, recently, don't they? Rai is chronically overworked and barely has time to sleep, I'm stuck in this hellhole and I've been forgotten by most everyone, you were shot, and poor Matt died and... well.

I never knew him, but I feel really bad for him :(

You could give Max half the truth. Tell him you have a stalker, and he's starting to get physical. Jake has been trying to help you get away from the asshole. It's not even a lie, just... not the full truth. Because. You know. The whole truth is completely fucking insane.

Writing to Jessy just put into perspective how insane everything is, I think. Gimme a sec.

Oh, fuck. My Jessy just texted me. Great timing.

Jeez that whole thing with me leaving myself out was just a joke XD If I knew you and Jake would take it so seriously, I'd never have said anything. I'll steer clear from now on.

Yeah, okay, definitely Goldie. That makes way more sense. I don't think you have to be quite so drastic as destroying the phone. Just get him to leave it at home for the trip.

Ahaha, thanks. I don't think that's necessary, though. Actually, seeing future!Jessy's perspective has caused a bit of a paradigm shift. I think I might need to reconsider what all to tell and not to tell the Crow Crew. I just sort of default to keeping things secret, now, but you've seen how well that worked for me with you and Rai, and with Jake.

Again, you probably should wait for them to contact you first, but you WILL need to talk to them when that happens. What you say to them and what you don't is up to you.

Pack a couple different pens XD We're all a bit long-winded.

That's all from me :)

(The handwriting changes to Jake's.) Hallo, Lis.

Yuvon refuses to tell me what precisely she means about Jessica. Was she somehow contacted by an alternate version of Jessica? If so, how?

I am glad it was Goldie who contacted Max. Yuvon's suggestion for an excuse seems a good one, as there are far less things to remember that way. You simply need to oversimplify everything.

I do not, unfortunately, entirely believe that Yuvon was joking when she made that comment, based on previous comments and her ongoing guilt. I can't understand sometimes why she feels the need to lie so much. It is difficult for me to read people, much less her.

I will speak to her eventually. Early tomorrow, perhaps, if nothing else rears its head. Yuvon looks tired, and I am also admittedly not at my peak. I sincerely hope she does not wake up as early as she does every single day. It may get somewhat taxing, what with the lack of coffee here.

I think that is all from me to you, Lis. If you would kindly find a way to send the next section to my counterpart without looking at it, it would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you :)

—Jake and Yuvon

Jake,

It is a pleasure to meet you as well, despite the unusual circumstances.

That our pursuers may be freed from the stasis is a logical conclusion. Seeing as the last known location I had on them in my universe was approximately five hundred miles from Duskwood, they will likely be some of the first to free themselves from the stasis. I do not believe I need to warn you that time is of the essence.

It seems as if I am a small distance ahead of you in the development of countermeasures, perhaps because I have had more linear time to develop them. If you are where I think you are at in the development, you likely have or will soon hit a bug you cannot pin down that makes the pinpointing mechanism simply refuse to work at all. Presuming your and my version of NYM-0S are similar enough, the issue should lie in the public bool set in line 132 of the third part of the targeting script, the script that decides what constitutes a target; you have it defaulted to "false" where it should default to "true".

As for additional countermeasures: I was attempting to work on a rudimentary automated system of pattern detection when I was brought here. Essentially, its function would be such that it would be able to triangulate using the locator features already installed to find a rough estimate of where their headquarters might be. However, I have not found any way thus far to eliminate outliers, and as such the feature is currently next to useless. I am no longer able to work on the code, but perhaps you will have more luck than I did.

That is all I can think of for the moment on that subject. However, I have an odd theory on what may be part of the reason we vary so. If you have a moment to spare, please answer me this:

When I was very young, back when Mother was still around, she took me to a doctor for odd behaviors. This included not looking people in the eyes, but there was a list. I was given a diagnosis; if you had the same experience, you should likely know which one.

Did you have this experience? If so, please prove it by stating what the diagnosis was.

Do not worry if you do not know what I am talking about; I would rather you did not guess. Simply state that you don't know. It will confirm my theory.

Good luck with your pursuers.

—Jake

(The letter tucks itself in the paper clip with the others.)

#duskwood letter game #yuvon writes letters #duskwood #duskwood game #duskwood everbyte #duskwood jake #lis #this isn't precisely a puzzle #it's a genuine question on jake's end #you aren't expected to answer unless your jake is the same

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nothingbutfangirlsmut · 5 years ago

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The Maze Trials: A Gally Fanfiction

Pairing: Gally x Emi(OC)

Summary: Emi, first girl the Glade has seen. Tougher than she looks and more than ready to prove it. Since day one her and Gally have been at each other's throats. Fighting constantly and not just with their words.

(Gally fanfiction which will include smut. It also has an actual story line. Think of it as an AU to the original Maze Runner. It'll mostly follow the main story line with some changes. Mostly focusing on Emi and Gally and their relationship.)

Chapter Twenty-One

The next day I wanted to get a chance to talk to Thomas privately but it seemed Newt had him preoccupied. Newt had stolen him for the day to show him the job of a farmer. I could already see how smitten the blonde was with the new boy. I also noticed Gally keeping a very close eye on Thomas. He seemed to get very tense any time Thomas was close by.

"Will you please stop staring at him?" Gally asked angrily.

We were in the process of repairing a part of the homestead. Gally was working beside me. I was off in thought staring towards Newt and Thomas. I should have known Gally would notice that.

"I'm sorry. I keep getting caught in my own head." I chuckled lightly turning back to my work.

"I'm aware. I see you find him just as interesting as everyone else." He mumbled.

I stopped what I was doing to look at him. What on earth? Is he jealous of the greenie? I grabbed his hand to get his attention and stop him from working. He looked at me. His expression full of anger.

"Gally, I'm not interested in him like that. I just want to know if my dreams are true." I said softly.

He rolled his eyes pulling his hand away from me. He started working again.

"Ah yes, I almost forgot you were dreaming about him too." He stated threw clenched teeth.

This time I rolled my eyes.

"I'm not dreaming about him. I dreamt about him. One time. Like I said it was more of a memory than a dream." I tried to get him to understand.

All he did was scoff. I knew it was pointless. How could Gally understand what I was going threw? I couldn't expect him to understand when even I didn't. I just hoped he wouldn't stay mad or cold towards me for too long.

All of a sudden I heard a distant scream. I shot up into a straight standing position.

"Help!" I heard the boy shout.

I whipped around seeing Newt in the distance. He was standing looking into the woods. I could hear the shouts getting louder. It wasn't until I saw Fry, Newt and a few others running full speed that Gally and I followed them. At the edge of the woods barely out of the tree line I saw two boys. One chasing the other. The chaser jumped grabbing the other boy pulling him to the ground. Gally and I picked up speed as we watched the boys struggling against each other. It wasn't until we got closer that I saw it was Thomas with Ben on top of him.

"I'll kill you!" Ben growled as he wrapped his hand around Thomas' throat.

We were still a few feet away when Newt appeared out of no where. He used the shovel in his hand to hit Ben knocking him off of Thomas.

"Hold him down!" Newt shouted grabbing one of Ben's arms.

Gally grabbed his other arm while Fry pushed down on his shoulders. He was struggling like a mad man beneath the three of them. I stepped to the side to get a better look at the glader being restrained. When I saw his face I knew immediately what was wrong. I'd never forget what that looked like. That sickly looking skin and the mad eyes. It still haunted my dreams sometimes reminding me of the day I was almost killed by another glader.

"What the hell happened?" Fry shouted at Thomas.

"I don't know! He just attacked me!" Thomas shouted back clearly still shook up.

At least Thomas wasn't seconds from death like I was.

"Calm down Ben" Gally said softly.

The crowd of boys broke open revealing our leader Alby. He slowly walked threw the boys to get to where Ben was still being held down.

"Alby" I said softly.

He turned his head to me.

"I know what this is." I stated with the fear showing on my face.

Alby knew immediately what I was talking about. He would never forget that day either.

"No, no, no" Ben started to cry as he looked up to Alby.

"Lift up his shirt." Alby ordered.

"I didn't mean it!" Ben cried out.

Gally pulled his shirt up to reveal a nasty looking open wound on his stomach. Ben growled.

"No, no, please" Ben whined.

Everyone gasped at the sight of it. Some of the gladers seeing this for the first time. Gally looked at it for a moment. He raised his head glancing over to me. I was frozen with fear. My hand clamped over my mouth as I looked at the wound.

"He's been stung. In the middle of the day?" Gally said aloud turning to look at Frypan.

"Please, please just help me." Ben started to cry.

"Put him in the pit." Alby ordered then glanced back to me.

"Come on, everyone help get him to the pit." Frypan said as several boys moved to help them.

"No. No. No! No! No! Don't do this! Please! Listen to me! Listen to me!" Ben shouted and sobbed as several gladers picked him up.

Without another word Alby walked away. The rest of the gladers dispersed leaving Thomas and I standing there staring after Ben. I stepped closer to stand at Thomas' side.

"Just so you know I was attacked by someone who was stung also." I said hopefully making him feel a little better.

"You were?" He questioned turning to look at me.

I nodded.

"You were lucky. My attacker almost killed me. He was seconds away. If it wasn't for Gally I wouldn't be here right now." I stated with a small smile.

"What happened?" Thomas asked.

I shrugged.

"He was the runner that Ben replaced. He had gotten stung on one of the days Minho and him were later than usual getting back to the Glade. The next day he attacked me. Usually I'm pretty good at defending myself but I was caught off guard. He had his hands around my throat and I couldn't move him. Gally tackled him off me right before I passed out. I woke up in the Med-Jack's hut a few days later."

"So this has happened before?" Thomas asked.

I shook my head.

"It's never happened this early in the day. Never in the middle of the day. My attacker was stung in the evening close to nightfall. Right before the doors closed." I explained.

"Walk with me" I said then lightly tugged his shirt.

He turned and started following me. We were both silent for a few minutes before I finally decided to ask him what I needed to know.

"Can I ask you something?" I questioned as we walked.

"Sure"

"Now, this may sound absolutely insane but just hear me out ok?" I said glancing a him.

He nodded.

"Do I feel familiar to you?" I asked looking down at my feet.

Thomas suddenly stopped walking. I stopped a few steps ahead of him. I turned to face him.

"Actually you do. A little bit. I had a dream last night. It was all these flashes of different things and a woman's voice repeating the same phrase. But I remember one of the faces that flashed in it. You were one of them. I know that must sound odd but it's true. It was more like a... like a-"

"More like a memory than a dream?" I asked knowing I was right.

He nodded with a look of surprise on his face.

"I've had a few dreams like that. I had one the night before you came up in the box. It was the two of us having a conversation. We were younger and I called you my brother. My twin brother." I stated watching his face for a reaction.

He chuckled softly.

"How odd is that?" He asked with a smile.

"Very" I said simply.

I excused myself from Thomas to go check on Alby. I knew what was going threw his mind. He was going to banish Ben. I knew having to do anything like this took a toll on him. I wanted to try to help if only just a little.

—

#nothingbutfangirlsmut #the maze trials #the maze runner #gally imagine #gally smut #gally #gally x reader #tmr gally #original character

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viostormcaller · 6 years ago

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Discord Chat Room Analysis

Yo Seán I'm gonna do an analysis of yesterday's "Discord mayhap" (or, "Discord discord", if you will) if that's alright?

(The following screenshots are not mine, they're just like the only screenshots I've seen going around, and if anyone knows the owner feel free to tell me please and thanks!!)

Firstly, I just wanna say that this is the very first time we've seen all the Egos in one place, interacting. This is HUGE. You'll notice the lack of introductions, questions of "who are you?", which means they all know each other/know of each other. At the very least, they all have interacted before without our knowledge. Hooray for context clues!

Onto the next thing. Jack. As a new server owner with many many users and a lot of potential for things to go wrong, I can only imagine how confused he would be (especially as a person with a glitch being on his tail). And I'm certain he wouldn't interact directly with any of the Egos unless he knew it was completely safe. As you can see, it was not, in fact, safe. That's most likely why instead of talking to the Egos, he was trying to get the mods to shut down the text channel as soon as possible. They weren't supposed to be there, and that is not supposed to happen.

Next, the Egos. Wherever they were transported to, it was someplace where they could not see one another nor could they see their surroundings (hence Chase's panicked "I can't see!"). Even though Chase was the only one who pointed out that he had no visibility, it doesn't mean that the others did. They probably couldn't see, either.

Now, my current theory is the end of Observation is in connection with this: there was some sort of tear in the fabric of reality. Whoever was recording that video, we saw transported before our eyes. It took a few hours, but eventually they ended up in a digital space, the discord server. We know this was Anti's doing, because the title of the chat room said "watching", encoded in a Caesar cipher (Anti is using codes now, we have to watch for that. There are MANY ciphers, believe me) and zalgo-ified, which was the biggest giveaway. I wouldn't be surprised if last year's Stories Untold first episode ending was foreshadowing for being trapped in a digital space (remember Jack/possibly Chase being stuck in the computer after someone opened the door to his recording room?) The question is: are they stuck there now? Or have they since been brought back upon the deletion of the chat room? We have yet to find out, but as of now, this is just a theory (a gA-- nah lemme stop there).

Next, we have Marvin. His first words are "This doesnt seem right". This leads me to believe that, as a magic-user, he's probably encountered some really weird shit and had some strange experiences, but in this situation something feels off for him. Also, as people have pointed out, Marvin is the only Ego with a recent profile picture, one that is not from his appearance video. I am assuming this is because either A) Marvin's first video wasn't truly Marvin, because it was US that made him an Ego, B) the video in which his profile picture is from was actually Marvin recording, hence why he pulled out his mask, or C) both A and B.

Jackie is the one who figures it out.

He probably saw the zalgoed code in the title, decoded it, and upon finding what it said went "Shit this is REALLY bad, I have to warn the others but I can't let Anti catch on that I figured it out". So when Jackie says "Ah fuck, people are watching this. Everybody shut up!", he's not talking about US, he's talking about Anti. Remember, Anti was brought into existence by saying his name. Saying his name in any form is extremely dangerous, and in a digital space where a glitch would have the upper hand, a direct warning against Anti would be way too risky, so he generalizes it hoping the others would get the message. Sadly, amidst the panic and confusion, they didn't.

Then, there's Chase and Schneep. Evidently, these two are close; Schneep gravitated towards Chase almost immediately for some sort of guidance or reassurance: "I dont know what happened here, Chase?". Their friendship must run deep. This was hinted at before: Henrik saved Chase and is his "good friend". Both of which are close with Jack. Seeing them interact like this pretty much confirms it.

Now this is where I laughed. See, Chase's response was immediately, "What do you want from me?" which is Chase's infamous line from Dark Silence. Marvin's immediate response is "Alright, thats enough" as if he knew that Chase was going to say something of that effect and went "Oh god not this shit again". Of course, this got Schneep started, because towards the end both of them began repeating lines from Dark Silence, Stories Untold, and Kill Jacksepticeye, respectively. Even though they were panicking and clearly trying to get in contact with Jack here, you have to admit they're both dorks. They could have said anything else and yet said that. I found that hilarious.

And little Jameson. Bless him, he silent even in digital form. This leads me to believe, however, that he may be mute in canon. If the Egos are not typing and are rather speaking in a digital space and their words appear as text in the server because of the coding, then it would make sense for Jameson's only "words" to be an ellipse.

This entire situation told me quite a bit about the Egos' interactions with each other. With Marvin and Jackie, as the two oldest Egos, they seem to be the "heads of the household", so to speak. They're like the two older brothers babysitting all the younger ones. They both hold a sense of authority (which was a surprise on Marvin's end for me, admittedly). Whether the others will actually listen is a whole nother story. Chase and Schneep are close and they gravitate towards one another. Jameson, being the newest, understandably looks like he feels out of place (communication barrier, perhaps?).

One thing is certain, though, is that Anti is their common enemy. He brought them all there against their will (kind of as if he gathered up all their strings and pulled). And Jack, according to Chase, is still comatose. So maybe Jack's consciousness is trapped in a digital space, which is why they were able to talk to him (even if Jack didn't respond), and why Marvin and Jameson were able to send him messages through videos (like in Try To Fall Asleep)?

In any case, I feel like the next episodes of Observation will give us more answers as to where the story is heading, just as Stories Untold did. Whatever happens in Observation will most likely hugely relate to this plot, so that's important to keep in mind.

#long post #theory #discord analysis #jacksepticeye #antisepticeye #chase brody #dr. schneeplestein #jackieboy man #marvin the magnificent #jameson jackson #vio stormcaller #stories untold #kill jacksepticeye #dark silence #observation #try to fall asleep #mayhem part 2: electric boogaloo

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wr1t3-my-wr0ngs · 4 years ago

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Good Soldiers- Chapter 2/4

Remembering Yesterday’s Tomorrow (In the Here and Now), Part 4 Cont.

After hours of thinking, he has a plan. Not a good one, but this is Umbara he reminds himself, no plan is a good one, only some that have fewer casualties.

If he's honest with himself, he's not sure if this will have fewer casualties or not.

It occurs to him that he could just kill Krell (he refuses to even think of him as a General), and save everyone pain. As an idea it's extremely tempting. But if this is real — and he still has his doubts, but if it is— he needs to be smart. Can't let his uncertainty in his reality keep him from action. Otherwise, he knows he will get nowhere, knows that not being smart will get him a court-martial, or worse.

So, no. Killing Krell isn't an option, not at this point.

Getting dressed is something of an experience. He's done it hundreds of times, knows the motions by heart — almost on autopilot, which is his saving grace as he deals with the competing signals that say this is normal and this is wrong. He'd forgotten what it was like to have knees that didn't hurt with every step, forgotten how much smaller he was. Not that he has any shame over how he changed with the years, not the hair loss, or the aches, or the extra weight. He got old, was one of the few clones who did, and there's a lingering sense of guilt attached to that, but not shame.

It's with reluctance that he slips off his ring and carefully adds it to his tags around his neck. But it's for the best, he's already planning to change things, and the last thing he needs is to raise suspicion. Nor does he want to lose it in the field, where the odds of finding it in the crushing darkness of the planet are close to impossible.

For all that it's a simple band of steal, after two years of wearing it, he feels naked without it on his finger.

It's both hard and easy falling back into the role of clone captain; he catches himself at times about to say something, only to realize that what he wants to reference hasn't happened. Not yet. But at the same time, details are right there for him to grasp. Rules and battle strategies and conversations he hadn't known he had forgotten sit at the surface of his mind.

But there is nothing that can prepare him for the torrent of emotions he feels when he sees them again.

His brothers: alive and loud, cracking rude jokes and swapping the latest gossip.

Hardcase, who died on this planet doing the right thing because the right thing needed to be done.

Jesse, who inspires such a mix of emotions that Rex has to studiously not acknowledge them because once he does, he knows he won't be able to hold it together.

Dogma, headstrong and loyal, who Rex never saw again after he was taken away. Heartfelt sorrow rises when he thinks of the fate of his little brother.

Fives and Tup, and the tangled knot of guilt, pride, shame, and remorse that they illicit. Emotions he can't even look at obliquely, or they undo him. Not even to compartmentalize and examine later.

He's glad he has his bucket and the fraction of privacy it gives him. Especially as he makes his way to see Krell. He doesn't need refreshing on the orders to prep the troops, remembers having relayed them before he had fallen asleep. The clock is ticking. But he needs to know that he can trust his memory, trust in the reactions, and there is no better person to start with then Krell.

Being in the same room as the Besalisk makes his skin crawl, and the idea of showing him any inch of respect chafes. He stands at attention anyway; he has a part to play and will be damned if he makes things worse by blowing his cover.

The conversation goes down almost exactly as he remembers, with some changes. For one, it happens earlier, which means since he hasn't actually learned that they have cracked the Umbaran codes, he has to phrases the suggestion of using the Umbaran craft as a hypothetical — that he thinks they may be close to a breakthrough. The idea is met with all the disdain of the first time, the same feeling that the men aren't worth the mud on the Generals boots, and that the Captain is little better.

He's on his way out of the command center when the Besalisk offers one last parting blow.

"CT-7567, next time, I expect you to remove your helmet when speaking to a superior officer."

His teeth clench, and he forces himself to spit out an "Understood, General" in the most neutral voice he can manage without moving his jaw.

His blood boils all the way to the hanger, the knowledge that his memories (if that's what they indeed are) are reliable makes for a poor consolation to the dehumanization of being reduced to his number.

He tries to distract himself by running the plan over in his mind, but it feels too much like counting a casualty report before the end of a battle, daunting and setting himself up for heartbreak. So he switches tracks and focuses instead on just the next part in his plan: Getting his brothers on board.

Jesse, Hardcase and Fives — he is reasonably certain — will agree once they know that his goal is removing Krell from his position and stopping this massacre. Tup, he's aware, will take a little convincing, but the rookie has a solid head on his shoulders. Painfully shy at times, with a habit of letting others speak for — and over– him, but willing stand for what he believes in when push comes to shove.

The wildcard is Dogma (and even through his anger and nerves, he takes a moment to laugh to himself at comparing Dogma to a wild-anything). Loyal and honorable Dogma, who may not be as much of a rookie as Tup, but is still painfully young and so profoundly dedicated to the cause, he refuses to see the dark truth of the war.

It's a risk involving Dogma at all, and Rex wouldn't be surprised if he's reported for insubordination before the battle even starts. But the same something that told him to lean in and kiss Ahsoka on Endor, that told him it was his time to die, the instinct that told him that waking up wasn't a dream, is telling him that Dogma is important.

With no one else to bounce his idea off of, no experience in this specific situation to draw from, all he has is this gut feeling and the knowledge that last time, Dogma did what Rex couldn't and that it's not impossible to get the trooper to recognize the truth before it's too late.

He rounds the corner into the hanger and spots them. Instantly his hands tremble, and his breath shudders and the emotions associated with his brothers (so well buried by his anger at Krell that he had momentarily forgotten them) lodge themselves in his throat. He takes a second to compose himself because there is no way for him to face his brothers with his bucket on without arousing their suspicion. Pulling off his helmet and tucking it under his arm, Rex briefly lets his hand linger over the spot where his wedding ring rests against his chest, eyes closed, and centers himself, before plunging into the busy room.

He arrives a little late in the conversation, but it seems to have progressed the same without him. It's a relief and makes waiting for an opportunity to present itself easier.

"— 100 megaton yield. We won't even make it to the delta."

It Jesse who notices his arrival.

"Any news, Captain?"

Rex shakes his head.

"Afraid not. We are to proceed as planned."

Hardcase groans.

"Great, another suicide mission. The Capital is too well armed."

"Why does it seem like he has it out for clones?"

Tup punctuates his words with a wave of his wrench, addressing the group at large.

"I think you're all over reacting. Obviously, General Krell knows what he's doing."

Rex seizes his chance.

"That's what worries me."

He considers that he may have over-seized his chance because it's not just Dogma looking at him with open shock; he has everyone's attention. Hardcase looks equal parts proud and stunned, Jesse looks like he can't believe what he just heard, Tup is suddenly engrossed in the mechanics of the ship he's working on (but Rex can tell he's listening, he's holding the wrench backward and not really doing anything), and Dogma...

Dogma looks scandalized, but also curious.

Which...is better then Rex had hoped for.

Its Fives that concerns him, with his squint-eyed calculating look, like the Captain is a puzzle that he only just realized he's missing the pieces too. Concerning, because Rex knows how far this particular brother will go to chase a suspicion or put a mystery together.

If nothing else, it serves as a reminder to watch his words.

Hardcase, unsurprisingly, is the first to recover his voice.

"Care to elaborate?"

Rex opens his mouth, then hesitates, glancing around. The hanger is many things, open chief among them, and hardly the place for this conversation. There are too many people, too many ears around for his comfort — wants to smack himself for letting it happen in the open last time.

"Not here."

He leads them to the barracks, where they all settle in, exchanging glances when they think he can't see them (Fives hasn't taken his eyes of him once, and it's unnerving to be under such close scrutiny by this particular brother). Rex chooses to rest himself against the wall, crossing and uncrossing his arms before sighing deeply. Not sure how to start despite things going, so far, as planned.

"Well?" Jesse prompts.

"This is just talk, understand? If I'm wrong, I'm wrong, and nothing will come of it." He's not, knows he isn't, but he's walking a fine line between plausible deniability and treason and is very aware which side his next words put him on.

Everyone nods, Dogma more to show his understanding then actual condoning of whatever is about to come out of his Captain's mouth, but Rex takes it as a good sign.

"I've had my suspicions for some time now that General Krell is no longer loyal to the Republic."

Chaos, absolute chaos, erupts as soon as the words leave his lips. He's not even sure who is saying what for a moment. Despite the pressing need for both time and discretion, he can't help the swell of fondness that rises as he takes in the scene: Hardcase's shouts that he knew it the whole time. Dogma and Fives who look to be gearing up for a fist fight, leaving Jesse and Tup torn between jumping in if need be to separate their brothers and staying out of it. Its familiar, and Rex never imagined that he would miss it.

It is also incredibly loud.

"OY!"

It would be laughable if the topic of conversation weren't so serious, with how quickly everyone settles down.

"Like I said, this is just talk."

Jesse snorts, leaning forward on his elbows.

"Big talk. What do you know?"

"I've been keeping an eye on his casualty counts, his strategies, his reports, and things don't add up."

Its a half-lie, he hadn't really heard or paid much about the General the first time, only the scuttlebutt that floated around the commanding officer's gossip network. But after Umbara, Rex had dug into the Generals history, read every report, counted every brother lost because of Krell, wondered how he could have been so blind.

"For someone who claims to be dedicated to ending the war in the name of the Republic, his strategies cost the GAR deeply in terms of both manpower and credits."

It goes without saying that the two, as far as the Republic is concerned, are essentially the same thing.

"That's what I've been saying!" Hardcase says from his bunk.

"But, " and Tup sounds horrified, looks it too. "The Generals a Jedi."

"They're still just people." Hardcase points out rather magnanimously.

From the corner of his eye, Rex can see Dogma shaking his head, eyes closed, a pained expression on his face.

He wants to go over, see how the trooper is doing because he knows what it's like to have your whole world view shaken to the core, but his attention is split as Jesse starts talking.

"So, what do we do?"

"It's obvious, isn't it?" Fives steps forward from where he had been leaning against the opposite wall, punctuating his words with his hands. "Krell has turned traitor and is killing brothers; we need to remove him."

Dogma shoots to his feet.

"What you're suggesting is treason."

"I'm being realistic."

The two advance on each other, voices rising with each passing second.

"You're planning a coup!"

"Against a General that knowingly sends his men out to die and undermine the entire cause of this army? Yes!"

Rex darts in, physically putting himself between the two, a hand on each man's chest.

"Fives, control yourself. Dogma, take a walk."

"Sir-"

"That's an order, Trooper!"

The air is tense as the two go eye to eye, and Rex sees the moment when Dogma realizes that the Captain isn't on his side, and for a second, Rex wonders if the trooper will listen.

"Yes, Sir."

It's spoken with more vitriol then Rex had known Dogma was capable of, hissed and quiet. Everyone watches in silence as he leaves the room, exchanging glances in shock, and looking to him for direction. Rex, suddenly drained, doesn't have the energy for a proper dismissal and vaguely waves everyone off, waits for everyone to shuffle out before burning his face in his hands.

That...could have gone better. Even so, he doesn't think Dogma will report him, but only time would tell what the fallout would bring.

He's on his way out of the barracks when he meets Fives at the door coming back in, who waits for the door to shut behind him before crossing his arms and putting on his "don't give me any karking shit" face.

The Captain's heart clenches. It was easy enough to ignore his emotions when there was more than one brother in the room. But like this, face to face with nowhere to retreat to, he can feel his mask cracking.

It must show too, because Fives goes from stern to worried, arms falling to his side.

"Are you alright, vod?"

He considers lying. Secrecy, especially in his position, is paramount. He dismisses the thought rather quickly, in part because he knows he's a horrible liar. Sure, he can pull off small parts on missions when required, but there is a very good reason he wasn't assigned to the Couricanti Guard. He can't bluff for the life of him, and not even nearly Forty years' life experience had changed that.

But it's not the only reason.

Messy, tangled emotions aside, this is Fives. One of the most loyal and trustworthy brothers he has ever had the honor to know. Who has always put his brothers first, even in the most insane and ridiculous of situations. If there is anyone, anyone, that Rex could trust with his secret and not worry about being handed over for reconditioning, it would be him.

And he is incredibly tired. Not even a full day, and the weight of his secret has eaten away at him. He hasn't felt this alone since his first days on the run from the Empire — before he had found Wolffe and Gregor — surrounded by unknowns, hunted by people he considered family (they didn't stop being his brothers just because the chips were activated, and that knowledge had only made it worse).

He exhales a shuddering breath, tears threatening to spill down his cheeks, and wills himself to meet Fives gaze.

"No, I'm not."

Like that, the dam breaks and he buries his face in his hands. Distantly, he's aware of being led over to the nearest bunk and sat down, of Fives gently rubbing his back through the plastoid (it doesn't do much, but the gesture is nice). He's not sure how long he cries for, but when he's done, Fives silently hands him a rag, and he able to muster a weak smile in return.

After a moment, Fives speaks.

"Want to share?"

Rex hesitates, brain still a little foggy from crying, and mentally checks over what he can and shouldn't say.

"It's...complicated."

He tries his best, details what he can in broad strokes. The end of the war, the fact they lost, him going into hiding, joining the rebellion, his death, and waking back up. He doesn't mention the chips; it's neither the time nor the place to worry about them, and he knows the moment that Fives finds out about them, he would take on that responsibility too.

When he's done, Fives is silent for a few moments, elbows on his knees, fingers steepled and pressed against his mouth. When he does speak, he looks at the Captain.

"There's more, isn't there?"

Rex nods, and sighs.

"Yeah, a lot."

"How old were you when...?"

Fives trails off, and Rex isn't sure if it's because he doesn't want to say it or doesn't know how to phrase it kindly. But he knows what his brother is asking.

"When I died? Thirty-Nine."

His brother laughs.

"Should I start calling you Gramps?"

Rex groans, because if there is one thing he doesn't miss about the rebellion, it's that particular call sign, and gives Fives a playful shove.

"Respect your elders."

They grin at each other for a moment, but the light mood doesn't last.

"So, Krell's fallen?"

Rex nods, and Fives goes quiet once again. In the vacuum that the silence leaves, a question pushes to the front of Rex's mind. He's afraid to ask, not sure he wants to know the answer, but certain that he needs to.

"You believe me?"

"I don't know yet."

It hurts to hear, but he can't fault his brother, because he knows how crazy it sounds, and if the positions were reversed, Rex is sure he would feel much the same.

"But, " Fives continues, "I can see for myself that something isn't right with the General, and if you say that it's because he's a traitor, I believe you."

The ARC trooper squares his shoulders and looks at Rex, certainty and determination radiating off him.

"I'll follow your lead, Captain. What's the plan?"

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years ago

Text

Rio & Buster

Rio: Who's in your bit rn Buster: Diego and Gus Rio: Oh good Rio: well too fast for Tommy Buster: He's got that fucked knee, like Rio: That's a poltie way to say he just got outwitted by a couple of toddlers Buster: Yeah Rio: You want me to come take 'em away or is there someone else in there with Buster: Just me, that was the appeal initially Rio: Lucky you Rio: I've gained a shadow, like Buster: Can't really tell a 6 year old to fuck off Buster: Shame Rio: Yeah Rio: you remember how to sign it if you need to? Buster: 'Course Rio: 👍 Buster: 🍀 Rio: Please Rio: got quite enough pride assaulting me without you starting Buster: Fine Buster: Since you remembered your manners about it Rio: I don't remember you being this concerned with manners, ever Buster: That's how you know I'm taking the piss even when you can't actually keep up Rio: If I hadn't kept up, I wouldn't feel this shit today, like Buster: It don't mean you did Buster: Half of what I had would knock you over Rio: and you don't know the half of what I had Rio: only brought me a few, don't get carried away Buster: I'm not asking for a list, like Rio: You won't be getting one Rio: don't fancy boking to top it off Buster: There weren't any brandy on it, I already checked Buster: You'll be grand Rio: Tah for the concern 😏 Buster: You're so welcome Rio: Okay, take the piss all you like but its weird when you're polite Buster: Fuck you then Rio: More like it Buster: I do aim to please Buster: Everybody knows that Rio: A long way from Chelsea, boyo Buster: No shit Rio: Be home for you in no time Rio: no O'somethings in sight Buster: Counting the seconds, like Rio: Do it quietly Buster: Diego and Gus ain't concerned Rio: not much does them Rio: 'cept being forced to particiate in family shit Rio: got a lot in common Buster: Yeah Rio: monosyllabic is alright but if you go full catatonic, I'll have to tell someone Rio: you know the rules Buster: I know they're meant to be broken Buster: So don't worry about it Rio: Sure Rio: that rule goes without saying Buster: They're on the move Buster: Do you want me to follow 'em? Rio: Can you Rio: I'll head up now but just so they don't get lost lost Buster: Sure Rio: 👍 Rio: [hunt 'em down girl] Buster: [Buster just awkwardly lurking so they don't die] Rio: [just nodding a little like thanks then and 'leave you to it again' before chasing 'em off] Buster: [forever watching her go like it's nothing] Rio: [rip] Buster: [at least most of the fam are having a nice time, god bless] Rio: [if that ain't being a teenager tbh, even if you weren't secretly in love with your cousin, like] Buster: [one is relatable if not the other lol] Rio: [let time pass] Rio: you want a coffee from the cafe? Buster: Less want, more need Rio: Exactly Rio: it'll be shit but I don't have any coke on me either Buster: You're a continual source of disappointment to me, Cavante Rio: Not the magic word Buster: Should be Buster: It's more motivational Rio: Don't change career plan Rio: put it that way Buster: I don't intend to Rio: and I don't need motivating Buster: Just shit coffee, alright Rio: Currently Rio: don't imagine you'll be coming up with any better plans any time soon Buster: I easily could but I can't imagine including you in 'em regardless Rio: Yeah yeah Rio: shut up and don't be a dick whilst I wait for these drinks at least Buster: [pops up like oh hey because that dick 'I'll wait, you sit'] Rio: [shooketh but does best not to show it, goes and sits like] Buster: [doing that whole waiting and paying thing] Rio: [sneak peeks honey Buster: [blatantly has also bought her a 🍪 or something cos nerd so bringing that over] Rio: [when you're confusion but not gonna turn down a free cookie #same and drinking that coffee like you need it to live 'cos you do] Buster: [Likewise drinking that coffee as fast as he can without burning his tongue lol] Rio: [just having a silent coffee break] Buster: [so awkward] Rio: [at least you aren't running away lads] Buster: [proud of you] Rio: [look like better? when they're done] Buster: [clearing the shit away so he don't have to answer because not really lbr] Rio: [can have Grace come find her #obsessed so they don't have to do this rn] Buster: [hey girl hey when he'd literally run off cos she's that annoying haha] Rio: Oh cheers Buster: Don't mention it Rio: can't you come entertain her Rio: you're clearly good with kids Buster: It ain't me she wants Rio: 🙄 I'm tired Buster: I'll go score us some lines then, yeah? Rio: Yeah, obvs Buster: I am gonna get out of here though Buster: So if anyone asks you ain't seen me in ages Rio: Why am I covering for you Buster: 'Cause you're not a snitch Rio: Sure about that one now Buster: Always been sure about it Rio: Off you go then Buster: Cheers for the permission Rio: You don't have it but I'm sure that's part of the appeal Buster: I don't need yours and I don't want theirs Rio: Exactly Buster: It's your own fault you're too popular to come with Rio: I don't imagine I was invited Rio: and how is it anyway Buster: Best big sister ever is likely to be missed in a second, like Rio: not a choice Buster: Yeah it is Rio: not for me Buster: More fool you Buster: Enjoy being tired and bored Rio: Thanks Rio: for not getting it Buster: I get it, I just choose not to pander to it Buster: The way you've made yours ain't my problem Rio: Its beyond apparent that you don't but that's not anyone's but yours today Buster: Whatever you say, babe Rio: What you said, yeah Buster: Nah but feel free to put words in my mouth if it ends this convo quicker Rio: Talking about you and your sister, actually Rio: not exactly aspirational Buster: Good Buster: Even you can aim higher than she is Rio: She's not the one fucking up Buster: That's debatable Rio: And you have nothing like a majority Buster: Woe's me Rio: Seriously Buster: How will I ever win now? Oh yeah that's right, easily Rio: Only by your own definition Rio: we can all do that, McKenna Buster: Why are you such a loser then? Rio: Because your definition means fuck all to me Buster: And yours means even less than that to me Buster: Save your breath for running around after the kids Rio: 💔 Buster: I know Buster: At least you wear it well though Rio: Thought you would have matured a bit by now Rio: how awkward Buster: Do yourself a favour and don't think about me so much Rio: I'm not pretending I've got somewhere else to be Buster: Me either Rio: uhuh Buster: I've left the shit museum, I don't have to have a destination in mind beyond that Buster: But since you're so interested I'll probably go to the gym Rio: You know they won't let you use the weight machines Rio: you're too little Buster: Hilarious Buster: Last night I was tall Rio: They got age limits Rio: don't want any weird body builder kids Buster: I didn't ask you to worry about how I'm spending the rest of my day Rio: Who's worrying but you Buster: You're going on about it more than my parents ever have about anything so obviously you Rio: so your parents are shit Rio: got it, it was kinda obvious without you banging on about it Buster: It's the first time I've mentioned them so what's actually obvious is that I'm not banging on about anything Rio: Don't cry Buster: You already did that so there's not really much point Buster: I'd just look like a copycat Rio: Yeah, and you're NEVER that 😂 Buster: Not of anything you do, no Rio: just all your really cool friends Buster: They follow my lead Rio: of course Buster: I'll let you know if Diego and Gus are successful in making their own escape and I see 'em on the street Buster: No need to pretend you wanna chat to me beyond that Rio: Not me that can't hold a conversation Rio: but thanks Buster: I never said you can't, I said you don't want to Rio: Same difference, clearly Buster: There's loads of difference Rio: I don't doubt you're able to string together more than two words at a time but if you ain't with me, why would I care Buster: I can be as coherent as you like, the fact remains you don't like it Rio: You haven't said anything worth listening to for years, Buster Buster: And you know why Buster: Until you wanna acknowledge that, Rio, there'll continue to be fuck all to say and even less to listen to Rio: Don't speak to me like that Rio: where the fuck have you been, when have you ever tried to acknowledge it Rio: don't put it all on me when you're just as complicit, good or bad Buster: Don't speak to me at all Buster: You know where I went Buster: Where the fuck are you? Rio: Do I Buster: It's no secret, it's never been Buster: I'm still there, any time you feel like looking me up Rio: You ain't Rio: and maybe I ain't either Buster: It ain't that simple, like it or not Buster: I'm still the same person Rio: I don't see it Rio: we aren't Buster: You see what you wanna see Buster: Just like every fucker else Rio: Who wants this Rio: why would I Rio: its fucking Buster: You made choices that got you here Buster: If you don't wanna be, make different ones Rio: I didn't just make a choice Rio: it was mutual Rio: and it ain't that simple, like it or not Buster: I'm where I need to be, it's that simple for me Rio: You're where your parents put you Rio: you've got no ownership over that Buster: I didn't mean geographically Rio: Neither did I Buster: Then you're wrong, I do have ownership over it Buster: I've done what I've done 'cause I have to do it, end of Buster: I can't be in any other place with you Rio: You could Rio: but you've made your choice Rio: I just hope it is 'yours' Buster: I don't do things for anyone else Buster: That's you Rio: Alright Rio: here's me pretending to believe that Buster: Fuck off Buster: I'm a selfish cunt there's no pretending otherwise Rio: 👍 Rio: not saying you're not giving it your best shot Buster: Nah, you're too busy acting like I backed you into a corner you don't wanna be in Rio: How would you know Rio: did we ever talk about it Rio: no Rio: have you asked since Rio: also no Buster: I know 'cause I used to know you and I still know what matters to you Buster: So we don't need to talk about it Buster: And I'm not gonna ask Rio: Fine Buster: Yeah Rio: Like I said, you have no fucking idea Buster: And what, you really don't think that's for the best? Rio: It's what it is Buster: No, come on, you want me to know you like that Buster: You wanna give any power to me Rio: It ain't about want Rio: pretend all you like Buster: What is it about then? Rio: Don't do yourself down Rio: you know Buster: You're lamenting that chat we never had, you tell me Rio: Forget it Rio: if you aren't gonna at least do me the favour of keeping up Buster: I told you, I'm not a charity Buster: Say it Rio: Neither am I Buster: As far as your boyfriend is concerned, probably reconsider the stance Buster: You could do loads better otherwise Rio: There's nothing wrong with my boyfriend Buster: If that were true he'd get a girl his own age Rio: Well he's always liked me Rio: and I'm better than any girl his age Buster: Oh please Rio: I am Rio: but I don't need you to think so, he already does Buster: I already said you can do better than that cunt, I don't need you to feed me a rehearsed line Rio: I like him Rio: you don't even know him Buster: Thank fuck I don't Buster: He's obviously a nonce Rio: Shut up Rio: you're so childish Buster: Don't let him round your sisters Buster: You'll be too old for him soon Rio: Stop Rio: you aren't funny Buster: It isn't funny Buster: But I'll get my mum to have a word with you before we go, she's got more experience than me Rio: Yeah, make it something it ain't Rio: she's not pissed off with you enough, like Rio: use her trauma for whatever point you think you have Buster: I don't give a shit how angry she is at me Buster: You either Buster: I'm right and he's fucking wrong Rio: Well it ain't your decision is it so Buster: As long as it's yours Rio: Ha ha Buster: Don't Buster: You ain't this stupid Rio: I'm not stupid at all Buster: So stop acting like it Rio: I'm not Rio: he's actually nice Buster: All's forgiven then Buster: Fuck's sake, Rio Rio: What Rio: you either want me to move on or you don't Rio: you can't have it both ways Buster: Any cunt can be nice Rio: Yeah well loads aren't Buster: That don't mean you should settle for the first one who is Buster: If I can have it any way, I'll have it that you do better Rio: Alright, thanks for the input Buster: Come on Rio: You Rio: why do you think you get a say when I just have to watch you making loads of mistakes yourself Buster: You know why Rio: You're in or you're out Rio: and we know which way it is when it comes down to it Buster: End it with him Rio: You're not being fair Rio: you don't talk to me Rio: you won't Buster: I can't be fairer, break up with him and I won't fucking kill him Rio: For God's sake Buster: Bring him into it as well if you want Buster: I don't care Rio: I'm not going to dump someone 'cos you tell me to Rio: if I do it'll be because I want to Buster: As long as you do it, the reason doesn't matter to me Rio: I'm not doing anything right now Buster: I'm not asking you to, you've got til I leave Buster: I can't kill him if I ain't here Rio: He's not done anything, like Buster: I've only got your word for that and it's for shit when you talk about him so Rio: Why is it Buster: Read back all the bullshit you said and ask me that again if you still feel like it's a fair question Rio: It isn't bullshit Rio: he is nice, we argue sometimes or he annoys me but that's normal Rio: I'm not an idiot Buster: Like I said, if you're not, stop acting like one Buster: You can't tell me that him being older ain't weird Rio: You just don't wanna hear it 'cos you've made your mind up Rio: and it's not, it's good, he has a moped and a job so we can actually do things Buster: I don't wanna hear about the things you do, cheers Rio: Don't be gross Buster: Do you love him? Rio: That's way too serious Rio: It's not been that long or Rio: no Buster: Okay Rio: You know how it is Buster: Do I? Rio: 'Course Rio: don't need to be on your socials to know Buster: You can just admit you are, I reckon we're slightly past the feigned indifference Rio: Alright Rio: I'm allowed to Buster: You've always been allowed to do whatever the fuck you want Rio: Backatcha Buster: Just forget it, I'm calmer now Buster: Your boyfriend can live to nonce another day Rio: Really Buster: What? Rio: It's fine, just exactly what I said Buster: Alright Rio: Actually, no it ain't Buster: Yeah well Rio: Don't yeah well me Buster: Don't tell me how to speak Rio: You've really just dropped that to drop it Rio: why Buster: What are you talking about? Rio: Fuck that Rio: don't try to gaslight me too Buster: Calm down Buster: Jesus Christ Rio: No, just 'cos you have doesn't mean I am too Rio: you've just thrown all your bullshit at me and then bounced Buster: That ain't even close to all my bullshit, first of all Buster: Second of all, I told you I was calmer not calm, and you ain't helping Rio: You know what I mean still Rio: and if you don't care why should I Buster: And if I do care, is that actually gonna change anything Buster: 'Course not Rio: It isn't me saying that Buster: So what are you saying? Rio: If you cared, of course it matters Buster: I didn't say it wouldn't Buster: I told you it wouldn't change anything and it won't Rio: Who says Rio: beside you, obviously Buster: Come on Buster: Every reason we had to do what we did and not do other shit are still there Rio: There's no reason it has to be this shit Buster: I'm the reason Buster: I ain't gonna be nice to you, keep hold of your boyfriend for that Rio: You wanna be Rio: I know you're capable Buster: Don't tell me what I want Buster: Or what I'm capable of Rio: Try and tell me either is wrong Buster: I told you years ago, I don't wanna say something I can't take back Rio: Yet you do it all the time Rio: as long as it's something nasty and vile, then that's alright Buster: If it keeps you at arm's length or further then yeah, it is Rio: Alright me Rio: but you do it to everyone Rio: your parents, Nance Buster: They get what they deserve Buster: You think they're all sweetness and light to me? Rio: Of course I don't Rio: you're gonna end up alone though Rio: it needs to be sorted, all of it Buster: How I end up ain't your problem, least of all 'cause there won't be one Rio: Yes it is Rio: I'm not the one pretending I don't give a shit about anyone else in this family Buster: Well you don't have to give a shit about me, like you said, I'm barely in it Rio: You act like you aren't Rio: still are regardless Buster: I won't be as soon as my mum and dad can no longer force me Buster: Hold it together for like another year or two at most and then you don't need to see me Rio: Cool, you wanna be like Joe then Buster: I can do without the intravenous drugs, like Rio: That's not why no one ever talks about him Rio: you ain't stupid Buster: Don't talk to me as though I am then Buster: I know everything you know about Joe Rio: so why do you wanna join that club of 2 Rio: pretend you don't have a family Buster: I keep telling you, I don't follow no cunt Rio: you do keep saying that Buster: This family pretends a lot worse, start your crusade there if you're on one Rio: I try Rio: more fool me, right Buster: Yeah Buster: Cheers for saying it so I don't have to Rio: Fuck this Rio: your absence has been noted, btw Rio: stay wherever the fuck you are out of sight, like Buster: Whatever Buster: In no rush to go home regardless of your warning Rio: You're welcome Buster: I feel it, babe Rio: You know who to blame Buster: I'm not blaming anyone Buster: I'll own it Buster: Even if you don't thank me for leaving you alone Rio: Bullshit Rio: you take out how crap you feel on everyone Rio: so don't fucking own it Rio: blame yourself, actually Rio: or sort yourself out Buster: Cheers but I don't need motivating any more than you did earlier Rio: Such a waste, you Rio: I'm not giving it out to you Buster: Good, don't Buster: 'Cause what's bullshit is you thinking you have any idea what I feel like Rio: Yeah Rio: 'cos happy people act like you, Buster Buster: Most people don't feel the need to put an act on at all, babe Rio: did I say I was happy Rio: no Rio: but you're a miserable prick and it don't take fuck all to see it Buster: Did I ever say I wasn't? Rio: You said I had no idea how you feel Buster: You don't Buster: That don't mean I was putting myself at the happy end of the scale Rio: No shit Buster: What the fuck do you want from me, Rio? Buster: This ain't confession Rio: Can't you just be fucking happy Rio: is that so much to ask Buster: Yeah Buster: Especially when you're the one asking Rio: Well then Buster: Do it for me Buster: You be happy Rio: This isn't about me Buster: For me it is Buster: So much of this shit is about you Rio: Oh thanks Rio: I'm not trying to make you miserable Buster: I didn't mean it like that Buster: I don't want you to be miserable either, that's all Rio: Yeah Rio: I know Buster: You know you would be, yeah? Buster: This way it's not as bad as it could be Buster: And I'm not as bad for you as I could be Buster: End of Rio: Its just Rio: sometimes its hard to believe it could be much worse Buster: I know Buster: How's Edie? Rio: I think she's having a good day Rio: beyond that Rio: you know Buster: Yeah Rio: think she's enjoying them not being here Rio: god knows how it'll be when they're back Buster: Let me know Buster: Not that there's fuck all I can do from Chelsea or anywhere else Buster: But still Rio: There's fuck all I can do from the same house, like Rio: so don't worry Buster: 'Course I won't Buster: I only worry about myself, clearly Rio: 'Course Buster: I can't offer you a good day but if you want a good night Buster: It won't be that hard to find me Rio: ? Buster: What's your question? Rio: I have a few Buster: Fine, what are your questions? Rio: How, where and why are you breaking the rules after laying them down again Buster: Well how is easy, I'll send a cab for you Buster: But I can't predict the future, that was your game, so the where will have to wait Buster: You already know the why Rio: Alright Rio: even though the how was more how are you gonna give me a good night Rio: that's a prediction too, yeah? Buster: Come on, you only wish you didn't know who the fuck I am Rio: Wouldn't waste a wish Buster: Bring your boyfriend if you want, it'll make it even easier for me to beat the shit out of him Rio: Obviously not Buster: I'll allow it 'cause of my feelings about sharing Buster: But it ain't very nice of you Rio: If I wanted to see that, I'd come to one of your matches Buster: The invitation has been extended and been standing for years, babe Buster: It ain't my fault you never wanna cheer for me for some reason Rio: I wonder Buster: Get yourself another coffee, I'll make sure you need it Rio: 😏 Rio: Any excuse to lose the trail of kids behind me for a second Buster: I would come and distract 'em but I'm one of the notorious Irish myself now so Rio: The quickest way to get yourself recognized in here Rio: given the names already in, like Buster: This could be my last night of freedom as things already stand with how many missed calls and angry texts I've got Buster: You're gonna make it count with me, yeah? Rio: 'Course I am Rio: you know me Buster: Good Rio: arguably your lack of freedom will just be more shit like today though, you do realize Rio: so, not really any more punishment than you was getting so you may as well go all in now Buster: I'm going all in anyway Buster: For you Rio: Good Buster: It will be, I've just had the best idea Rio: but I've got to wait and see? Buster: Do you want the surprise or do you wanna help? Rio: You know how helpful I am Rio: shameless Buster: Put together a guestlist of the least cunty people you know then Buster: I have the ideal party venue Buster: And I'm gathering supplies as we speak Buster: If there's any left over wedding booze, take it Buster: I'll say it was me Rio: Alright Rio: I'm in Rio: I won't get caught, or in trouble Rio: but I don't mind taking my share if it did happen Buster: I know but I ain't letting you Buster: Tonight's about making things less shit for you not more Rio: What about you? Buster: What about me Buster: I didn't call a truce for you to question it that hard Rio: Okay, okay Rio: no more questions, deal? Buster: You not gonna ask me where it is? Buster: You'll have to tell your friends, like Rio: Go on then Buster: [sends her the deets cos my idea is that it's a house baze have bought to do up but not done yet hence it'd already lowkey be trashed] Rio: Not even gonna question how much shit you may or may not get in for this Rio: more the merrier? Buster: I said all in 'cause I meant all in Rio: I'm remembering Buster: For tonight you can trust me Rio: Cinderella rules Buster: But if you piss off at midnight I will take the piss out of you Buster: 🤴 or not Rio: Fair Rio: Not that bitch Rio: won't be wearing glass shoes either Buster: I ain't carrying your shoes about whatever they're made of 'cause I'm nobody's bitch Buster: Would be a good weapon though Rio: I don't take my shoes off mid-party either, 'scuse you Rio: gotta commit to the look and deal with the consequences, like Buster: Does it hurt though? Buster: Like actually or are some girls just dramatic Rio: Nah it does Rio: but if you don't do it now you'll be in your 20s still hobbling 'round Rio: gotta toughen up Buster: Good to know Rio: Its your skin being pinched 'til it rubs off, not fun but you know Rio: when you're as short as I am, what's the alternative Buster: Get your boyfriend to carry you Buster: If he wasn't such a pussy Rio: Around a party, all night Rio: okay Rio: not actually a princess Rio: and you need at least four footmen for that, so Buster: I could easily do it Rio: So could he Rio: but you'd both want a drink at some point 😂 Buster: He couldn't carry a dozen eggs, first of all Buster: Second of all, if you can't aim a drink into a lad's mouth while they are carrying you about, what the fuck are you playing at Rio: 😏 Rio: You're ridiculous Buster: If this girl I invited shows her face, I'll show you Rio: You might wanna ask her if she'd like to be carried around first, like Buster: She'll love it Rio: Who doesn't Buster: Exactly Rio: 🙄 Buster: Shut up Rio: I didn't say anything Buster: You don't have to Buster: I received the emoji, like Rio: What would you prefer Rio: Emoji-wise Buster: Do you really want me to answer that, babe? Rio: You can Buster: I know I can, I asked if you wanted me to Rio: Sure Rio: I'm nosy as fuck Buster: You're distracting as fuck Rio: Its been said Buster: Yeah, I just said it Rio: I think you've said it before Rio: as well Buster: It's been true before Rio: Yeah Rio: Who is this girl then Buster: I ain't telling you Buster: You could know her Rio: Well I'll see if she comes, won't I Buster: You can't warn her off when she's already through the door though Buster: She'll see me and not give a fuck about anything else Rio: Why would I do that Buster: If you know her, why wouldn't you? Buster: It's no secret you think I'm a cunt Rio: Anyone I know and like would know that Buster: Whatever Buster: It don't sound like she's coming anyway Rio: Sorry Rio: if its any consolation my boyfriend won't be there 'cos you want him to be Buster: I only want him dead, don't get it twisted Rio: I wasn't implying it was 💕 Buster: I'm not gay 'cause my twin is Buster: Sorry for his loss Rio: I'm sure he's devastated Buster: Undeniably Rio: 😏 Buster: So will she be when she hears how good our party was Rio: Duh Buster: What time do you want your cab? Rio: Earlier side Rio: just in case nan or granddad ask where I'm going Buster: Alright Buster: I'm already there sorting shit so easily done Rio: I can help Rio: I've got the leftovers Buster: Get ready and tell me when you are Rio: 👌 Buster: Not that it matters 'cause I'm stuck wearing this Rio: Don't you think you ALWAYS look good? Buster: Fuck off Buster: I obviously do but I could also obviously do better Rio: You look fine, calm down Buster: Get the word fine out of your mouth in relation to how I look Rio: 😶 Buster: So fucking rude Rio: You don't need me to tell you anything, come on Buster: Shut up then Buster: You're meant to be getting ready Rio: I can multitask Rio: and you're meant to be in truce mode Buster: A truce doesn't turn me into a pussy Rio: That isn't the same thing Rio: you can not tell me to shut up and still not be a pussy, like Buster: You can not tell me I look fine and still not like me Rio: Are you really that offended Rio: I meant it in a good way Buster: Yes Buster: I'd never tell you that you look fine Buster: Fuck fine Rio: Alright Rio: I take it back Buster: Don't bother Rio: Ugh Rio: why not Buster: 'Cause it ain't genuine in the slightest Rio: How do you know Rio: take me at my word Buster: Use better ones and I will Rio: I just tried and you cockblocked me Buster: Try harder Rio: Do you want your ego stroked or not Rio: why make me work for it Buster: There's fuck all you don't have to work for Buster: That ain't a rule I've made Rio: You're being dumb Rio: if I was asking for a compliment, sure Buster: You're being annoying Rio: Well I don't know why we're still talking about this honestly Buster: Like I said, shut up then Rio: You too Buster: Consider it done Rio: I am ready though Buster: Alright Buster: Where do you want picking up from? Rio: I'm gonna walk down to the phonebox from my house Rio: send it there Buster: Okay Rio: How many missed calls are you on? Buster: 37 Rio: Oof Rio: that's rough Buster: It's standard Buster: That trauma we both mentioned, it makes her highkey about shit like this Rio: Nah I get it Rio: have you told her you're safe or anything, like Buster: She knows I'm alive, like Buster: Not that cruel Rio: Good Rio: don't know how in I could go if I was worrying about that, like Buster: Don't worry, when you're got a dead kid the other two automatically step it up in making sure you know they ain't Rio: Makes sense Buster: Can't break all the rules in one day, it'd make tomorrow really fucking boring Rio: Again, no need or reason to argue with that Rio: although I can't promise you a good day either, obviously Buster: You could but I won't hold you to it Buster: Truce'll be over when the party is Rio: Tah for the faith though Rio: forget you said it in the AM too Buster: Forget whatever you like Rio: Is that permission? Buster: Do you need it? Rio: Just taking the piss Rio: always seems to amuse you Buster: Sure it'll amuse the cabbie too Rio: No doubt Rio: I'm a delight Buster: I don't have that much faith in you, babe Rio: Fuck off, like Buster: Definitely don't have enough faith to leave you here on your own if I did Rio: 😑 Bollocks Buster: Nah Rio: I'm a much better host than you Buster: That's the issue Buster: Too welcoming if anything Buster: If only I could trust you as far as I could carry you Rio: Don't be such a dick Rio: you don't know me like that Buster: I know you're too nice Buster: It's not much of a read though, you can calm down Rio: I know what you're saying Buster: Good, I won't need to repeat or rephrase Rio: Me either Rio: fuck off Buster: Fine, see you soon, Cavante Rio: Mhmm Buster: Don't start on the leftovers without me Rio: There's enough to go 'round or I wouldn't bother bringing it Buster: Still Rio: Don't be telling me what to do on top of everything Buster: Come on Buster: I'm asking Rio: and it's bold of you to reckon you can Rio: but don't worry, its in the boot Buster: Fortune favours that shit Rio: Lucky you Buster: Yeah Buster: 🍀🤴 Rio: When it suits Buster: Did you learn nothing at that museum? It's such an advantage how could it not always suit Rio: Not really Buster: Shame on you and obviously a shame in general Rio: 💔 Rio: can tell on me if you like Rio: earn back some brownie points Buster: Not til tomorrow Buster: I probably won't remember by then Rio: so you're a snitch now too Rio: Shame on you and obviously a shame in general Buster: Fuck off Buster: No Rio: Convincing, McKenna Buster: If I need to convince you of that, you can turn the cab around and find something else to do Rio: I've invited everyone now Buster: Don't mean I have to let you in Rio: like to see you try and stop me Rio: don't be a pussy Buster: I know you would but the door'll stop you easy enough Rio: Gonna lock your guests in Rio: very welcoming Rio: they're mostly my mates, in what world am I not getting in Rio: avoid me and I'll avoid you Buster: In what world could I not pick you up and throw you out Rio: Don't fucking touch me Buster: How are you gonna stop me? Rio: Do it and find out Buster: Behave and I won't have to embarrass you in front of your friends Rio: Who do you think you are Buster: Who do you think I am? Rio: I don't care to think about you Buster: Don't underestimate me and you won't have to Buster: I'm trying to give you a good night and you're trying to ruin it Rio: I am not Rio: if you can't say anything at least not entirely unpleasant to me, then don't feel the need to talk to me at all Buster: Likewise Rio: You started it Rio: I was defending myself Buster: Bullshit Buster: Leave your attitude at the other side of the door Rio: No it isn't Rio: you called me a slag and you've got no right or reason so just leave me alone and we'll have no issue Buster: If I had I'd have said it outright Rio: Bullshit Rio: I know what too nice means when you say it like that Rio: because just being nice, isn't an issue at all Buster: It means you're a pushover Rio: Well I ain't that either Rio: so you can still get fucked Buster: For someone who apparently don't care what I think you're really taking my words to heart Rio: I don't let anyone talk to me like that, period Buster: I don't need you permission to speak, end of Rio: Then don't speak to me or about me Rio: you don't have that permission Buster: Avoid me, like you said Buster: There's fuck all else we need to say to each other Rio: I intend to Buster: Good Rio: That, we can agree on Buster: Yeah Rio: [Time] Rio: Are you sure you've given me the right address? Buster: Not a fucking amateur Rio: What is this place Rio: it looks like a decent housing estate Buster: Fingers crossed 'cause my parents have bought it to sell Rio: Ah Rio: that makes sense Buster: Why the fuck did you think I had keys to the house? Rio: I thought it was just an empty Rio: but its too nice around here to be that easy to get in Buster: Like I'm gonna throw a party at a crime scene Rio: Why would it be a crime scene Rio: happens all the time 'round here Buster: Breaking in and trespassing are both crimes for a start Rio: 🙄 Rio: Not if the window was broken 'fore you got there Buster: I'd still be trespassing Rio: Not when its council, think on Buster: It's not Rio: I know Rio: that's why I asked Buster: Whatever just come in Rio: Hold on, this suitcase is heavy Buster: [comes to carry it cos of course he does] Rio: [tries to stop him on principle like no no] Buster: [clearly ignores her and takes it in] Rio: [just 😒 but still coming in, obvs] Buster: [has a look through and takes a bottle out he fancies because start as you mean to go on] Rio: [just looking 'round the gaff like don't mind me] Buster: [letting her cos then he can sneak looks at her cos let's assume she looks 🔥] Rio: [always does but has clearly gone all out with the 'fit 'cos the mood] Buster: [he would've too if he could've, god bless these extra kids] Rio: [couldn't really bring you anything soz boy] Buster: [I'm sure he still looks good cos likewise always does] Rio: [nods like 'not bad' also like quite soon she moves in with Indie and Drew I think so rip] Buster: [when you're trying to check her face cos those injuries but not make it obvious cos you ain't drunk yet] Rio: [we'll pretend not to notice] Buster: [just fucking off upstairs to do something party prep related cos he's looked at her too long] Rio: [should we let people show soon or make them suffer the awks] Buster: [I say let them suffer cos peeps don't usually show til later haha] Rio: [that's what I was thinking] Buster: [great evil minds] Rio: [just be in the kitchen getting shiz out] Buster: You need any help? Rio: Thanks, I was just gonna look in the garage and shed, see if there's any chairs or shit left Rio: can make sure I don't get murdered and help me carry if there is Buster: There's fuck all in the shed unless you wanna sit on a bike all night Buster: But yeah let's check the garage Rio: As likely as me being carried about, I reckon Rio: sounds good Buster: [Appears like oh hey] Rio: [just like come on then] Buster: [have fun in the creepy garage lads] Rio: ['whoever lived here last had loads of shit' it should be packed 'cos garges always are] Buster: [just looking through it for shit that's actually useful cos probably so much that isn't lol] Rio: [try not to trip in your heels babe] Buster: [he would catch you though] Rio: ['can use some of these boxes as tables, at least'] Buster: [takes them through before she can and is straight back] Rio: ['you thought of a career in removals, like?'] Buster: [gives her a look like fuck off cos so offended that's so beneath him] Rio: [🙄 and goes back to rummaging] Buster: [does find some chairs cos why not and is trying to wipe the dust off them without getting covered] Rio: [takes a stack when he's done] Buster: [also grabs a folding up little table cos again why not if they've left loads of shit] Rio: [just looking around like what else do we need to 'cos otherwise what are you gonna do lads] Buster: [looking at like an old tool bench or whatever cos they could put stuff on that but it'll probably be heavy so looking at her like do you want this or no before I make the attempt] Rio: [shakes head like no 'if we need it, you can always get some of the lads to help you later, I'm not getting oil and crap all over me, like'] Buster: [when that gets you thinking about who she's invited so you ain't happy even though you know her boyfriend ain't coming] Rio: [as if she would just invite girls lol oh boy] Buster: [he is so silly and so obvious, good day] Rio: [Ryan should come for that throw forward] Buster: [yaaaas] Rio: [least you can be on your phone giving people deets 'cos nowhere to look but at each other rn] Buster: ['which one of your friends is sorting the music?' cos if it's just speakers and a phone you need less room than like decks so he wants to know how for the layout not just being a judgey prick] Rio: ['Leesha's brother has a proper setup, he's gonna bring it, she's not far away'] Buster: [nodding and going back to drinking whatever he is because the levels of awks] Rio: [just looking at him 'what did you invite me for?'] Buster: ['I already told you' maintain that eye contact always] Rio: [a LOOK] Buster: [you've gotta have one back forever] Rio: ['truce, yeah?'] Buster: ['Yeah' passes her the bottle he's drinking from to make the point] Rio: [takes a swig, still not breaking that eye contact] Buster: [takes it back and takes his own swig also not breaking it] Rio: [smiles at him for probably first time in forever] Buster: [smiling back because can't not] Rio: [better have people showing to interrupt for now] Buster: [get the dj lad in so he can leave her to sort that] Rio: [chat to your friend that came with] Buster: [we can always skip to later when they are drunker and more people are here if you want] Rio: [why not, we know the drill] Buster: [I'm gonna say that girl did show so he's been focused on that since lbr he don't really have that many friends in Dublin cos he hasn't been back much etc] Rio: [Fair] Rio: idk where you are but the downstairs loos lowkey been trashed Rio: might need turn the water off, i think? Buster: Fuck's sake Buster: [Does come and do that cos he could've been upstairs easily enough] Rio: Its a party Rio: [is obvs not just there when he comes down but in the kitchen or some shit] Buster: Cheers for the reminder, like Buster: [let's say he comes back through the kitchen then so they have to cross paths haha] Rio: [shrugs like yeah people are dicks especially drunk people but what you gonna do] Rio: aren't you enjoying yourself then Buster: [reads it and shrugs back 'tonight's not about me, remember'] Rio: [mouths 'still'] Buster: [gets another drink which could mean either yeah cos there are still drinks left or nah and I need this, there's no way to know] Rio: at least it was an ugly bathroom? Rio: be replaced anyway, yeah Rio: [going through to the lounge to dance] Buster: 'Course Buster: Like I said, ideal venue Rio: [reads it and does a thumbs up] Buster: [comes through to dance with this unnamed girl who has come downstairs and found him again] Rio: [god knows who you are tbh] Buster: [generic 13 year old irish white girl ftw thank god he's a good dancer cos the odds that she is are not good] Rio: [just getting her off the dance floor real quick] Buster: [don't embarrass him in front of his cousin/ love of his life and all her friends thank you] Rio: [bless lol] Buster: [she should so leave early like he said he'd take the piss out of Rio for doing though cos then what's he gonna do with himself] Rio: [be bored and drunk, a deadly combo] Buster: [exactly dr phil] Rio: [should go off to the non-broken bathroom with a group of peeps inc. Ryan] Rio: d'ya want some coke Buster: Obviously Rio: Come upstairs then Buster: [does and soz about everyone else he only has 👀 for Rio] Rio: [likewise that twat who's probably mad all these other hoes are here 'cos clearly just wanna ply her with drugs casually but gotta keep it casual for now boy and pretend you're nice] Buster: [thank fuck I said he'd done coke before because I'd die if he made a fool of himself in front of Ryan] Rio: [I like to think she ain't but is 'cos he has, I won't let you fuck it up too hard babe, watch the others, like] Buster: [I like to think he knows she hasn't cos of her reaction when he said he has so he goes first so she can watch him] Rio: [in my head her boyf is less about this life so she's not unlike when Ryan etc so yeah] Buster: [that's legit af cos we all know she does things to please peeps especially at this age etc so] Rio: [exactly dr phil] Buster: [he's just gonna be keeping an eye on her subtly cos don't know how it's gonna hit if you ain't done it before and also Ryan is a dickhead and none of us trust him ever] Rio: [least it lasts for like no time so you gon be fine babe, also yeah let's all get out of this bathroom and away from him tah for your drugs] Buster: [Buster just chatting to one of her female friends who was also there but 👀s on Rio like making sure she's alright] Rio: [why not wander outside 'cos hot] Buster: [definitely gonna follow her even though he's got no excuse] Rio: [just looking up fully expecting anyone else so like 'oh, hiya'] Buster: ['hey' but said so it means are you okay] Rio: [little lol 'tah for making sure I don't die for my ma and that, like' but smiles like, I'm good] Buster: ['it ain't only for her' cos remember neither of them are allowed to die they said] Rio: [obvs remembers that too so just a sad kinda 'yeah' Buster: [turning to go cos she's alright and he don't wanna bring her down that ain't the mood] Rio: ['you off then?] Buster: ['Out of the garden anyway' turns back to look at her again 'coming?'] Rio: ['I dunno, am I invited?' but grins and gets up to come] Buster: [pulls her along but gently not rudely like come on, again no excuse for that have you] Rio: ['Come dance with me or I'm gonna talk and talk to you, like' up in his ear] Buster: [when you're really into her being that close to you but you have to hide it by looking down at her heels like 'trying to keep you alive, remember' and 😏] Rio: [a face like pfft 'I'm not taking them off, remember, come on'] Buster: [does come on because we all know he's wanted to dance with her since forever] Rio: [we all know it's gonna be such a moment but we can pretend its the drugs so fuck it go all out Buster: [literally though because even without their shameless chemistry they're both such good dancers but add that and the drugs and the fact they've never done this with each other and every pent up emotion bye] Rio: [fully gonna have to have a 'big tune comes on so everyone jumps in and they get split up' or else, like] Buster: [true that even though he'll be FUMING and probably have to fight someone now how lads do but we can blame the coke for that too at least] Rio: [we can let 'em have it 'til the last second though 'cos rude like that] Buster: [simply must so it's torturous when they have to stop] Rio: [just gonna go to that hoarders garage whilst he's fighting this lad so 1. you don't see/can't intervene 2. you can be alone and frustrated yourself 'cos who else would be in there, like] Buster: [enough time to have gone by that he's won a fight] Buster: Talk to me then Rio: Yeah? Rio: I see why you needed another line, like Buster: Has your friend got any more? Rio: Unless he's gone through it all Rio: such a fiend Rio: I'll find him Buster: Alright Rio: Where are you anyway Buster: Some cunt got the door stuck on the master bedroom and can't get out Buster: I'm gonna break it down, like Rio: embarrassing Rio: at least they'll have time to get clothed and you aren't a dad Buster: Yeah Buster: Where are you? Rio: on the move now Rio: figure best bets are side of the dancefloor for max perving potential Rio: or out front with their cars doing whatever lads do with cars Rio: looking at 'em Rio: shag 'em, like 🙄 Buster: Careful, that was actually funny Rio: I am funny Rio: you wouldn't know Buster: Well, I wasn't planning to laugh the door off its hinges so behave for a sec Rio: 😏 Rio: just use your brute strength, got it Buster: You don't need much but probably should make sure the cunt in question don't have his nose pressed against the side I ain't on Buster: Or something else Rio: Or someone else Rio: well considerate, you Buster: Exactly Buster: And yeah, but you wouldn't know Rio: 'cos you hate me now Buster: Hilarious Buster: You gonna keep the jokes going for the rest of the night or just til you find your friend? Rio: Hates a strong word Rio: but if I find him I can definitely keep it coming, like Rio: ha what if its him Rio: in the bedroom Buster: Don't do it all without me Buster: Unless he's in there doing some shit to himself with the old tools in the shed, unlikely Rio: Awh, so mean Rio: its probably Dan though, s'always Dan Buster: As long as it wasn't him I beat up Buster: Maybe Rio: what you do that for Buster: I don't know if it was him or not Rio: Yeah but I mean Rio: you know what I mean Buster: Whoever the fuck it was got in my way Rio: excuse me usually works alright for me Buster: 'Cause you're beautiful, everything and anything works for you Rio: you are too Buster: Not to him and it was mutual so Rio: I guess Buster: He was fucking off to the garden to lick his wounds if you wanna see which of your friends it is Rio: How many people do you want me looking for Rio: honestly Buster: You told me you could multitask Rio: I'm already talking and walking Buster: Poor baby Buster: I bet your shoes are killing you by now Rio: They are, actually Rio: sarcasm detected but ignored Buster: I'll find you and carry you, hold on Rio: Now who's got jokes 😏 Buster: This is serious Buster: Do I get any clues as to your location or no? Rio: It's more fun if you come find me Rio: hide and seek Buster: You've got a point Buster: And you're on Rio: Count to ten Buster: [voice memo of the count because how else will she know] Rio: [sends one back and she's just chuckling like nothing else of real importance there babe] Buster: [so cute though] Rio: [honestly where are you gonna hide, like] Buster: [is she gonna be in the hoarders garage again or somewhere else? tbf the trashed bathroom would be a good place cos he wouldn't think to look there until he's checked everywhere else] Rio: [also risky 'cos who else would be in a unusable bathroom so doing it] Buster: [casually looking all round the house but it's not that big so] Rio: you're slow Buster: Your attempts to distract me ain't gonna work Buster: I'm getting us drinks so you can pour mine into my mouth for the full visual, obviously Rio: Hmm Rio: I might be asleep by then Rio: not a clue, although I am straight chilling Buster: Fine, if you don't want yours, I'll give it to your pretty mate Rio: 😠 Rio: play the game Buster: Just 'cause you can't distract me don't mean she couldn't Buster: It ain't my fault she's playing a different game Rio: ugh Rio: shut up Buster: Make me Rio: Can't Rio: you already said Buster: [appears and is giving her a look like okay now make me which isn't dangerous at all] Rio: [just taking her drink and downing it like it's mine as are you bye] Buster: [just watching her do it shamelessly] Rio: ['how do we know who's won?' like do u mean hide and seek or what, we'll never know but all the eye contact rn Buster: [just brushing her lips with his fingers so suggestively like okay boy 1. she does not need you to wipe her mouth thank you and 2. have the decency to not be maintaining that eye contact if you're gonna be so blatant 'sure we can figure it out somehow'] Rio: [just tracing where his fingers were with her own with the vague excuse of wiping him away if she needs it but barely thinking about any of that nonsense right now 'Well, can you walk and think, McKenna?' 'cos not forgot you're meant to be carrying her rn] Buster: [downs his drink so they don't have to worry about carrying it and picks her up effortlessly cos she's smol and he's strong as if that answers that but we know he can't think coherently any time they are that close/ have physical contact] Rio: [such a bad idea all 'round but 0 regrets] Buster: [the fact everybody's gonna see that he's carrying her around this party while they look for Ryan and drugs] Rio: [don't mind them lmao, so blatant for forever, it's not like a platonic piggyback moment and we can all see it] Buster: [Ryan is gonna be so angered] Rio: [not gonna be in a sharing mood] Buster: [if they even find him cos distracted af] Rio: [truly like how are you hiding you're dying when you're that close, you just ain't] Buster: [it's like jj fake dating all over again cos yeah think it through kids] Rio: [but its so real, can't just not when you've got opportunity and excuse] Buster: [literally cos this is the first time they've been together with no fam also around so I don't blame them remotely and they ain't thinking about tomorrow rn even if I am] Rio: [like fr how freeing 'cos there's no chance of being caught unlike always] Buster: [exactly that cos even if any of her friends were aware they're all wasted and doing their own thing too so] Rio: [and what you gonna do, tell her mum, i think not ladies] Buster: [haha that'd be more awks for her friends than the incest they are accusing her of cos don't be a snitch like] Rio: [exactly dr phil, someone, Ryan, ahem, telling her boyfriend she was all over another boy though, possible] Buster: [oooh he would the snek] Rio: [always been snekky and clearly a shit friend already so] Buster: [I'm here for the relationship drama though cos things are already rocky with her and her mans anyway] Rio: [we all know it ain't gonna last much longer, may as well happen now] Buster: [mhmmm cos we all know Ryan would lay it on really thick even if he hadn't been lurking all night and seen them dancing earlier and everything] Rio: [not like he's opposed to outright lying so if he says they banged then her mans will be mad 'cos they ain't so that'll be it over] Buster: [yeah cos fuck you anyway tbh boy you're not a good egg] Rio: [also live for you losing your v to him even though its just a rumour not a trumour Buster: [I wish you could guys but we are evil] Rio: [things have gotta happen lads] Buster: [literally gonna be pondering what we can get away with happening rn as I fall asleep] Rio: [dream on, 'cos obvs things do happen over the years before they full get it together, that much is known so you know] Buster: [I didn't have any dreams cos they were all stressy but they should 'look' for him in places he ain't likely to be but there are likely to be less people around cos blatant] Rio: [I'm with that] Buster: [risky but that's the mood tonight so] Rio: [and lowkey always 'cos can't be tamed, clearly, just adjusting yourself by holding on 'round his neck 'are you tired yet?'] Buster: [looking at her like do I look tired but we all know you just wanna do all the eye contact always] Rio: [😏 'cos you clearly do not wanna be put down either] Buster: [😏 too and in her ear being flirty af and letting your lips brush against her skin like your fingertips did earlier cos why just talk even though she'd hear you fine and you'd have to inconvenience yourself bending and shit like when you can be extra 'So are you having a good night?' Rio: [when you'd just shiver on contact and there's no hiding that so you don't, just nodding 'not bad' 'cos who doesn't love a challenge as if this hasn't gone far enough children] Buster: [carrying on looking for Ryan despite knowing that's not what she meant cos not gonna make it that easy to get what she actually wants obvs] Rio: ['he wouldn't have gone home without saying bye to me' 'cos ain't that the tea] Buster: [laughs like yeah true cos we all know it's the tea] Rio: [oh Ryan] Buster: [takes her to get a drink cos they ain't getting any drugs at this rate] Rio: [gives him his like he said which is akin to sexy crepes] Buster: [no hiding that you're into it] Rio: [in his ear back 'you should drink with me more'] Buster: ['you just wanna be carried around more' and like does a spin or something fun to make the point] Rio: [loling, loving life 'maybe' also cue Ryan spotting y'all instead of you finding him] Buster: ['Definitely' and more silliness until Ryan's ⛈ appears] Rio: [least he won't be obvious that he's gonna snitch 'cos snekky so your night won't be ruined 'til tomorrow but he's still salty enough I doubt he's giving you coke] Buster: [Buster should offer to pay him cos answer to everything so then she can get his wallet out of his pocket cos he's still holding her and can't and obvs no other reason lol] Rio: [we all 👀 you, now debating if he should let 'em or be like nah 'cos pros either way, if he does then he can tell her mans they were getting crunk in all the ways he don't like but if he doesn't its like can't buy everything, Buster] Buster: [I think he should do the whole I don't want your money but give it her anyway cos 1. what you said about her mans and 2. he looks like he's such a good friend for reconsidering etc] Rio: [Solid, let us run with it and you can now leave boy, your purpose has been served] Buster: [go back to the non functional bathroom so you don't have to share with anyone upstairs] Rio: [none for yous bye] Buster: [he should sit on whatever to do the lines but not putting her down so she's sitting on his lap for this so casually] Rio: [nbd that's just chill] Buster: [absolutely the most non event ever] Rio: [you shouldn't like, get up, nah, not at all babe] Buster: [god bless] Rio: [just looking at his eyes like to see how fucked he is but what else are you gonna do rn] Buster: [meanwhile he's looking at her mouth cos wants to kiss her always and forever] Rio: ['you're fucked' but with feeling, good to get the excuse out there] Buster: ['Yeah' but quietly like how he said her name when he was about to kiss her those other times] Rio: ['me too' still not looking away] Buster: [staring back at her like I know] Rio: ['it's weird, isn't it' looking away like she's looking around, shaking her head 'I mean, no one is gonna wake up and stop us now'] Buster: [touching her face so she'll look at him but the way he would've after he headbutted her that time and she got hurt like it's a flashback moment 'Do you want to be stopped?'] Rio: [shakes her head, but slower, so her head ends up resting on his hand, 'You never want to be stopped, like'] Buster: ['I'm not asking myself the question, I know what I want'] Rio: ['What do you want?'] Buster: ['What do you want, it's your party'] Rio: ['That you made for me'] Buster: ['Like you said, it ain't bad, but that's not good enough, so like I said, what do you want?'] Rio: ['Do I have to say it?'] Buster: ['Tell me' cos that doesn't mean she has to use her words it just means he needs to know] Rio: ['You know, Buster, you've always known' and no way to stop you going in for this kiss now] Buster: [letting it happen cos that's their first kiss really, the awkward kid one playing dares wasn't anything like what they wanted it to be for many reasons] Rio: [no one is rushing to claim that even though its so cute god bless, let 'em have this moment so they know its 🔥] Buster: [just gonna make out til your lips are bruised the next day cos that won't be awkward] Rio: [let's hope you've not got some forced family fun to attend lmao, at least someone who doesn't know the toilet is bust/or does not care can interrupt before we go all out here] Buster: [her boyfriend gonna be raging imagine and yeah parties are full of easy interruptions] Rio: [though they might need a like 'the cops/baze are coming' kinda interruption here 'cos we know there's no stopping now you know] Buster: [true the police could shut this down cos then he'll be in even more trouble and there's less chance of them crossing paths these hols] Rio: [yeah that's big trouble, like actual consequences vibe, everyone scatter then] Buster: [baze could even send him home with one of them if we wanted/needed so] Rio: [or all go home in disgrace] Buster: [yeah soz Nance] Rio: [ruin the hol, also leave mcvickers without as much help, all 'round gonna get you on the shit list, wanna skip to tomorrow?] Buster: [oh boy you've really fucked up here and yeah we can skip] Rio: hear you're going home Buster: You heard right for once Rio: how long you in the shit for Rio: forever, like? Buster: Until I do something worse Buster: Or redeem myself by winning something, like Rio: Won't take you long once school starts back up then Rio: somehow nan believed I was somewhere else so Rio: 'trouble' looks like the usual, tied to the kids as per Buster: I told you, they all see what they wanna see 👸 Rio: Sure they'd be more suspicious if the gaff was my parents and the keys were missing Buster: Probably Rio: Or if we didn't hate each other, obvs Buster: Well yeah Rio: I'll invite Nance back next hols Rio: make it up to her Buster: I'd tell her but she ain't speaking or listening to me Buster: If only my parents would shut up as well I wouldn't have a headache Rio: There was only a few days left anyway, she'd be dreading going back regardless Rio: I feel like shit and all, the painkillers ain't touching it Buster: Careful, it almost sounds like you're on my side Buster: [tells her some weird remedy that he's created that he would swear by and probably does actually work cos he's smart like that but I'm not trying to think of rn cos I'm not] Rio: It was my party so Rio: but don't get your parents to patch me into the telling off, I can use my imagination Rio: gotta dedicate all my brain power to the cure rn anyway Buster: Work out too if you can lose your shadow for long enough Rio: Let's not get carried away Buster: Come on, that's bare minimum Buster: You mentioned dedication a second ago Rio: You also don't need to take over for 'em and lecture me Rio: Running 'round after this lot is so much cardio tah 💪 Buster: Whatever you say, babe Rio: 🙄😏 Rio: did you get caught then Buster: You don't need me to answer that for you Rio: but is that a lowkey humblebrag or a duh, I'm in trouble now, bitch 🤔 Buster: Either/Or Rio: how are your feet Buster: I wasn't wearing heels in case your memory's unreliable Rio: Shame Rio: I meant 'cos of the running we had to do though Buster: I know what you meant Buster: I'm fine Rio: Good Buster: Are you? Rio: I did take my shoes off for that Rio: not gonna let your efforts be for naught, like Rio: very rude Buster: Good Rio: though my house has never felt further Rio: which is saying something Buster: Where's that pumpkin carriage when you want it, yeah? Rio: tbh Rio: maybe my tiara has slipped Rio: 💔 Buster: Impossible Rio: Appreciate the faith Buster: And more realistically all the hair you've got to keep that tiara in place, I'm sure Rio: That actually makes it harder, I'll have you know Rio: how dare you doubt how hard this princess business is Buster: Really? Rio: Have you seen all my hair Rio: its out of control Buster: Yeah so like trap the tiara in, no? Rio: You're such a boy 😂 Buster: Cheers Rio: it wasn't a compliment but its pretty cute Buster: It's a compliment if I take it as one and I am Rio: Have at it Rio: you probably need it Buster: What's that meant to mean? Rio: That you're in everyone's bad book rn Rio: what else Buster: I don't need your pity or their pats on the head Rio: it ain't pity, and you've taken it now Buster: Fuck that Rio: Fine, don't take the compliment Buster: I don't want it Rio: Okay Rio: I'll survive Buster: No doubt Rio: 👌 Buster: We done? Rio: Sure Rio: good luck then Buster: What's luck got to do with anything? Rio: Don't hurt, does it Rio: didn't you learn anything from the museum Buster: I'm already not hurting Buster: And nah, you know I didn't Rio: Your headache gone then Rio: good stuff Buster: There's fuck all you can say or do regardless Buster: Keep your luck for yourself Rio: Suit yourself Buster: I always do Rio: want a round of applause Rio: I'm fresh out Buster: Like you said, I won't have to wait long to get one Rio: Cute Buster: You already said that too Rio: Remains Rio: you can go now Buster: Yeah I could Rio: You wanna Buster: 'Course, I love giving my parents bullshit my full attention Rio: 😇 son, like Buster: If you were any kind of angel you'd get me out of here Rio: You en-route or in your Dublin prison cell still Buster: 🍀 Rio: Never felt less true, yeah Rio: I don't reckon you're getting past your jailers, or I am Rio: divine intervention pending Buster: You'll just have to distract me then Rio: So we're not done here now? Buster: I only asked if we were, my word ain't yet law, babe Rio: That's not what being a lawyer is Rio: hate to burst your bubble 😏 Buster: I know and I've mourned, like Buster: Don't worry about it Rio: Poor baby Buster: I'm neither, hate to burst yours Rio: Well however will I cope Buster: What can I say? You'll just have to Rio: Cold Buster: I did tell you to get me out of the same room as my mum Rio: Ouch Rio: consider myself 🍀 to get off so lightly then Buster: Yeah Rio: Oh, hold up Rio: [the boyfriend drama] Buster: [when you care but you can't say anything because you have to act like you don't so you're just waiting in silence] Rio: I am usually better at distracting Rio: for the record Rio: had to take a call Buster: It's fine I've got packing to do that for me now Rio: I know Rio: don't want my good name being dragged through the mud any more though so Buster: Any more than what? Rio: Oh Rio: people talk too much Rio: someone from the party told Harry on me so we just had a lovely chat, like Buster: You should've let me kill him when I first suggested it Buster: Problem solved Rio: The problem of being reckoning they know shit when they don't Rio: only half of what I've been accused of is even true, that's what fucks me off Buster: If he's believing someone else over you he's a stupid cunt Buster: End of Rio: Wouldn't you Rio: if your girlfriend was seen doing lines and 'all over' some other lad Buster: It wouldn't happen to me 'cause I don't have girlfriends Buster: What does he do when he goes to parties, recite bible verses? Rio: If you had one though, you wouldn't be happy Buster: If I had one she wouldn't give a fuck about other lads Buster: We aren't talking about me Rio: No, we aren't Rio: I'm just saying I get his logic Rio: not the person, people, whatever who felt the need to rat on me Buster: Nobody saw fuck all so whatever they said to him was bullshit Buster: Meaning he ain't basing anything in logic Rio: Doesn't matter now 'cos I've been dumped regardless Buster: I told you to get in there first Rio: I didn't want to Rio: or I wasn't ready Buster: I also told you that you can do better Buster: You will when you want to Buster: It's his loss Rio: I'd love to know who you'd suggest instead, like Rio: Christ Buster: I'l write you a list when I've got time to kill on the plane Rio: Tah Rio: very generous of you Buster: I am Buster: Not that you'd know Rio: Now you've told me I do Buster: The party and your feet not touching the ground for ages wasn't enough for you? Rio: You're the one that said I didn't know Rio: who am I to disagree Buster: It doesn't normally stop you Buster: In fact, you're usually happy to disagree for the sake of Rio: Hardly at the top of my game right now Rio: did just get dumped over the phone, if you missed it Buster: Fuck that, who the fuck's he to count for anything Buster: Can't even end things face to face Rio: That's indefensibly and undeniably shitty Rio: even if I am a coke whore, come say it to my face, like Buster: You tried it and you liked it, that's not a crime Buster: It's a party, having fun is what people do Buster: Except pussies like him apparently Rio: We hadn't slept together Rio: that's why Rio: with what he's been told, said it was obvious I didn't actually like him, you know Buster: He's put in all those nonce hours for what he considers to be nothing, he's gonna be well mad Rio: Shut up Buster: Would you have fucked him if he'd hung in there? Rio: He was my boyfriend Buster: That's a cop out answer Buster: But assuming you mean yeah, the snitch has done you a favour Buster: And if you weren't going to, he'd have dumped you anyway 'cause he's that cunt Rio: It's not Rio: Weren't planning to see if I could make him wait 'til marriage for the craic, like Rio: Whatever, got to own it now Buster: It is 'cause you don't owe him that for the boyfriend label Buster: You either wanna or you don't Rio: No, I know that Rio: but that is what boyfriends are for Buster: Then you did like him and he's full of shit, bringing us back to my original point that he's a fool for believing rumours over you Rio: I did but Rio: its complicated Rio: maybe I didn't like him that much Rio: I didn't wanna do it then wish I hadn't Buster: If you're second guessing it, don't do it Buster: That's a way to keep things uncomplicated Rio: Well I won't now obviously Rio: why do you think I'm out Rio: he'd get over it all if I would Buster: I don't just mean with him Rio: Are you trying to save me, McKenna? 🙏 Buster: You don't need saving Buster: Not that kind of 👸 remember? Rio: I ain't scared or nothing Buster: What have you got to be scared of? Rio: Exactly Rio: I'm not frigid Buster: I don't reckon that'll be the lie he's spreading, babe Rio: No Rio: its not really lies though Buster: That depends what he's saying Rio: He's not like that Rio: not that it matters 'cos whoever told him is Rio: but I don't care about that Buster: You can find out who it was though, yeah? Rio: I'm asking Rio: the friends I can trust Buster: Good Buster: When you know, tell me Rio: Why Buster: You know why Rio: What if it was a girl Rio: you can't beat her up then Buster: If it was, I obviously won't Rio: I've legit got no idea rn though Rio: I must've been way more out of it that I thought Buster: Your friend did give us a fair amount of coke Buster: And there was more wedding leftovers than I reckoned there would be Rio: Gotta over-cater always Rio: especially with booze Rio: how this family do Buster: But with this fam there ain't usually no such thing Rio: just that 🍀 obvs Buster: 'Course Rio: Its gonna be so boring taking all the kids out now Rio: without you two Buster: Lucky for you they never take my phone as punishment Rio: you really thought they woulda Rio: still want a quiet-ish life, I guess Buster: All that bullshit you said about keeping me as a contact for emergencies ain't in this instance Buster: Don't want me to die, do they? Rio: I doubt they're that pissed off, no 😏 Buster: There's still time Rio: that your goal now? Buster: Hardly a goal when it's that easy Rio: Aim high, boy Buster: I always do Buster: But cheers for the encouragement Rio: I'm very supportive Buster: I bet your ex is really missing you already Rio: You're clearly taking the piss but 'course he is Buster: You could just get back with him Rio: I could Buster: I know that's why I said it Rio: I already said why I don't want to though Buster: Alright Rio: Why are you mad, you think he's a perv Buster: I ain't Rio: Okay Buster: There was no point to the party if everything's shit for you again the next day Buster: That's why I'm wound up about it Rio: There was a point Rio: you can't help that everthings a bit shit right now Rio: I'm not even that upset about him, it was coming, like Buster: I don't do powerlessness Buster: There's always something I can do Rio: If you can think of a way to make Edie happy, you're welcome to Rio: you've done loads Rio: it was a good party Buster: I know it's been years but do you remember any of the 🥊 I taught you? Rio: Yeah Rio: the basics Rio: why? Buster: Teach her Buster: It won't make her happy but it's somewhere to put her anger Rio: It's a good idea Rio: I will Buster: How many times do I have to tell you all my ideas are Rio: You've had a decent streak lately Buster: Fuck off Buster: If you're waiting for me to break it that ain't gonna happen Rio: Why would I want that? Buster: Oh right, you're supportive, I forgot Rio: How many times do I have to tell you, like Buster: Only the one Buster: I'm a good listener, very attentive Buster: Not that you'd know Rio: Don't rub it in Rio: that's just mean Buster: Not rubbing anything, like Buster: Gotta finish my packing Rio: 😂 Buster: Sorry to ruin the fantasy Rio: Yeah that's where my head is Rio: not busy myself, like Buster: You're not that busy Buster: And I don't just say I'm good distraction and then answer my phone, I actually am Rio: How rude Rio: You have to be nice to me, I'm so 💔 rn Buster: 'Cause I'm going home, I know Buster: Me too Rio: Yeah right Rio: you're buzzin Buster: I was counting on your wild siblings to take the heat off me so hardly Buster: They're gonna be on high alert now Rio: Still Rio: you wanted to go home 'fore you'd even left Rio: so swings and roundabouts Buster: Yeah right Rio: you can deny it Rio: I won't tell no one Buster: Why would I? Rio: You could sound more sure then Buster: Again, why Buster: I don't have anything to prove to you Rio: Why lie either way Rio: no reason to not be real Buster: I don't lie Rio: Yeah Buster: I can not wanna be here and not be excited to go back as well Rio: 'Course Buster: Real enough for you? Rio: Yeah Rio: its just conversation Rio: like I said, no reason not to Buster: 'Course there are reasons Buster: But I don't give a shit about 'em Rio: Yeah, reason being if you can't face facts Rio: lots of people can't Buster: I know Rio: but that ain't you Buster: Or you Rio: Nope Rio: can ask me anything Buster: Truth ain't as good as dares, but good to know Rio: Obviously Rio: you ain't in enough trouble for your liking, McKenna Buster: It's not the right kind of trouble for my liking, babe Rio: What you gonna do about it then Buster: According to you there's nothing I can do Buster: I'm not getting out and you're not getting in Buster: Tell me when you're done underestimating me and I'll think of something Rio: You said high alert Rio: I can't say I'm coming to see your sister then ignore her Buster: Don't ignore her then Buster: But don't ignore me either Rio: I don't wanna use her Rio: but I do wanna come say bye in person Buster: You ain't using her if you say bye to her too Rio: Okay Rio: I'll see if your 'rents let me in then or shut the door in my face Buster: Nance will let you in Buster: Even though she's in a really bad mood Rio: I can imagine Rio: guess it ain't worth the few extra days to have her fly back alone though Buster: Depends who you ask Rio: Obvs Rio: have you spoken to her like at all since you came here? Buster: You told me to leave her alone Rio: I know Rio: I was asking though Buster: Well the answer's no Rio: That's gonna be rough Rio: probably leave it 'til she's calm-er Buster: It's not like we have anything to say to each other anyway Rio: She might disagree Buster: Yeah but she's unlikely to voice it right now so Rio: Problem for another day Rio: I feel ya Buster: Nah, her problem Rio: Okay Buster: I didn't do any of it to fuck up her holiday Buster: She needs to get over herself Rio: Yeah but it still did, from her perspective Buster: If she can't convince 'em to let her stay, that's her problem too Rio: Yeah Rio: not disagreeing Buster: You don't have to be nice to me, I ain't heartbroken Rio: I'm not being nice Rio: it literally is her problem Rio: what do you want me to say, like Buster: Like I said, shit like that doesn't normally stop you Rio: Funny Rio: There ain't no point Rio: I've said what I need to say about the whole thing already Buster: Alright Rio: Yeah? Rio: You can say what you want Buster: I already did too Rio: Good Rio: we all know where we stand then Buster: Yeah Rio: Do you like school then Buster: Like ain't the word Buster: No cunts like school Rio: Why not Rio: if you're smart and you got mates Buster: It's easy that don't mean it's good Rio: I hate it Buster: 'Course you do Buster: It's boring Rio: There's just so much of it that has no point Rio: if we didn't have to do that, it'd be alright Buster: Not disagreeing Rio: and teachers weren't failures on a power trip Rio: that too Buster: 😂 Rio: It's true Rio: its the job you get when you realise you've got a pointless degree and no other prospects Buster: Not the career you want then? Rio: Ha Rio: no thanks Buster: The hypothetical kids you won't teach now are gonna be gutted Rio: I know Rio: so hot for teacher Rio: but I don't plan to spend my entire life babysitting, soz Buster: Good Rio: Glad you approve Buster: Much as it obviously pains me, like Rio: 😏 Rio: You'll get over it Buster: Did my cure work or have you still got a headache to get over? Rio: I do feel alright now actually Rio: where'd you find that Buster: I'd say trial and error but I don't make mistakes Rio: Still think that? Buster: Show me one Rio: nah Buster: Exactly Rio: maybe I just don't wanna Buster: Maybe you can't Rio: shh Buster: You can say it Rio: what, shut up? Buster: No, if you think the party was Rio: It's if you do Buster: I told you, I don't make mistakes Rio: Good Buster: It was Rio: Yeah Rio: I know Buster: As long as you had a good night that's all that matters Rio: I did Rio: just shame it got cut short Buster: Yeah Buster: Not the ending I wanted Rio: Next time Buster: You gonna throw a party for me? Rio: I owe you now Rio: you will actually have to come back though, can't virtually attend Buster: You could come to London Rio: True Rio: better for your guestlist Buster: It'd be easy enough to get Nance to invite you over Rio: I don't reckon she'd wanna come to the party though Rio: call it a hunch Buster: She's not invited Rio: You're rude Buster: Call it a private party if it makes you feel better Buster: Nobody else is invited Rio: just us? Buster: We've got a hot tub here as well Buster: And I've got more cocktail making skills now Rio: That's still one of the best things anyone's ever done for me Buster: Until I do it even better Rio: when Rio: when can I come, I mean Buster: Probably let my mum and dad calm down Buster: But as discussed, it won't take long once school starts Buster: And Nance'll be happy to have you here once it does Rio: Okay Rio: that's not too long Buster: You are coming to say goodbye, right? Rio: Yeah Rio: I'm on my way Rio: it'll take me a while, couldn't really ask nan to load everyone up, like so I'm on the bus Buster: Okay Buster: It seems like a ball ache but nan wanting to stay for coffee would be worse Rio: She's not invited either Rio: no offense Buster: I'm sure she's pissed off at me as well Buster: Usually is Rio: You won't notice the difference Buster: I won't notice fuck all else when you're here Rio: Buster Buster: Yeah? Rio: I'll miss you Rio: I have Buster: I know Rio: I know Buster: I'm sorry that you're gonna miss me more Buster: Not sorry enough that I'm not still gonna make you Rio: I can handle it Buster: We'll see Rio: You will Buster: Careful, if that's a promise, you have to keep it Rio: I intend to Buster: You also intend not to ignore my sister, so you said Rio: How long have I got, roughly Buster: That's more dependent on her than it is me Buster: I'd give you as long as you want Rio: You're generous, I remember Buster: I'm not gonna let you forget Rio: I wish I could just see you Buster: I can sneak out but that might give us less time Rio: You should stay put Rio: I just know there's only so much time I can be in the bathroom or whatever before its suspect Rio: everyone knows a goodbye between us should take literally 2 seconds so, I'm trying to think of a way Buster: I'll take the dog 'cause that's literally a punishment in itself Buster: Meet me and then when the clock runs down on that excuse I'll head home and you can show up Rio: another 💡 for your collection Buster: Plenty of time for you to still be hungover in the bathroom and whatever else we need Rio: You're good, I'll admit it Buster: You ain't seen nothing yet Buster: Get her to make you food even if you don't want it, she takes fucking ages to do that Rio: Wouldn't call it nothing Rio: but I wanna see more Buster: No denying it was something but you can have everything if you want Rio: Is that a promise? Buster: Yeah Rio: Then I want it Buster: I've missed you too Buster: I will Rio: I know Rio: now you can show me, yeah Buster: 'Course Rio: Good Rio: 'cos there's a lot you missed Buster: You'll catch me up Rio: Be rude not to Buster: We can't have that Buster: You've got a rep for being so polite, like Rio: Exactly Rio: and who would wanna tarnish my 😇 reputation? Rio: not you Buster: Obviously not Rio: 😏 Buster: Rio Rio: Mm? Buster: Never mind Rio: No Rio: go on Buster: I was just gonna say that I've not done loads of shit with other girls, you know Buster: Not yet Rio: That don't matter Rio: you know I haven't either, not everything Rio: it'll still be good Rio: when you want it so bad it can't not be Buster: Unless you want it too bad, then it could be Rio: I know what you're saying but I promise it'll still be good Rio: there's loads of ways to make it last as long as we both want it to Buster: Yeah I know, forget I said anything Rio: Alright but you don't need to be nervous Rio: or anything like that Rio: its just me Buster: That 'just' shouldn't be there though Buster: It's you Rio: I'm in the same boat Rio: you know Rio: I feel like I could explode whenever you're around Buster: You're a girl it doesn't matter if you do Rio: That's not totally true Buster: You know what I mean Rio: Nah, I do, I'm trying to say Rio: its embarrassing Buster: You don't need to be Rio: Well sometimes Rio: I cum so hard I pass out Rio: what if that happened, you'd be so freaked out Buster: I can hold you up, I've already proved how easy you are to carry Buster: Don't worry Rio: As long as you don't Rio: even if we've not got time today Rio: we will Buster: I swear Buster: I'm not worried Buster: I just wanted to tell you 'cause of how socials makes shit look Buster: So you don't think it's you if I fuck it up somehow Rio: I appreciate it, seriously Rio: but I know you Rio: when its just us Rio: I know Buster: I feel that too Buster: Even when I didn't wanna Rio: Its always been good Rio: when we let it Rio: when we could Buster: Yeah Buster: All through your parents wedding I kept thinking about when mine did it Buster: How different everything was between us Rio: so much is Rio: but some things haven't changed, can't Buster: I'm still sorry though Buster: For shit that has Rio: Me too Buster: I don't hate you Buster: I never did Buster: It's not too strong of a word, it's the wrong word Buster: End of Rio: I don't hate you either Rio: and I give a shit about you, no matter what you do Rio: just remember that, yeah Buster: Don't let me forget Buster: We can be friends can't we, like as far as everyone else is concerned Rio: We were before Buster: Exactly Buster: There's no reason you shouldn't be able to come and see me in my own fucking house Buster: Or vice versa Rio: Right Rio: we can easily do it Buster: We can do whatever we want Rio: and I want you Rio: as long as you want me too, I don't care Buster: Jesus, hearing you actually say that is Rio: Its weird how easy it was to say Rio: when I've not been able to for so long, still shouldn't but Buster: When it makes me feel like that you definitely should Rio: There's so much I wanna tell you Rio: that I've never before Buster: So tell me Buster: You're stuck on a bus, what else are we gonna do? Rio: Won't be the first time I've thought about you on this bus ride, like Rio: it does take forever Buster: If we're playing that game there's fuck all places in this house and out of it that I ain't thought of you Rio: I hope so Rio: 'cos I think about you a lot Buster: Make it a contest if you like, babe, I'm confident that I'll win Rio: I won't mind losing to you if this is what it feels like Buster: Did you think about me when you were with him? Rio: Do you really wanna know? Buster: I wouldn't have asked if I didn't Rio: I did Rio: I tried not to but my brain would just go there if it got remotely good, when I couldn't control it Buster: And the more you try not to, the more you do Rio: Exactly Rio: and I can't even pretend he was just bad, its not like he's the only person I've kissed so Buster: Same, I've kissed a lot of girls but I always think about you whoever the fuck they are Rio: and its like, I can't even be mad about it or you 'cos it always makes it so Buster: Exactly Rio: Sometimes I think its the only way I can, with some people, you know Buster: Yeah, I understand that Rio: You're just Rio: you're you Rio: there's no one else like you, I swear Buster: The fact is, there's nobody else on our level Buster: It's me and it's you Buster: I invited that girl 'cause I thought it was just the ones from Chelsea Buster: That's bullshit though Rio: Its like Rio: its really fucking hard to like anyone else when you exist Buster: I know Buster: She wanted to do all sorts to me and with me but I said no Buster: Even though you had a nonce boyfriend at the time Rio: Neither of them is here now Rio: I can make you forget Buster: I already have Rio: Good Rio: I don't like her Buster: Me either Rio: Feeling jealous over you feels so stupid Rio: but I feel it all the time Buster: Don't Buster: I don't give a shit about any of 'em Buster: Ever Rio: I know Rio: and they still get to see you and talk to you and touch you and Rio: just not fair Buster: I want to see you and talk to you and touch you though Buster: I wanted to before I even knew what the fuck that meant Rio: I always wanted you around Rio: and I knew it was different to the way I felt about any of the others Rio: I just didn't know why or how yet Buster: Besides, nobody actually properly does any of those things to me so you can have it Buster: Everything, like I said Rio: People never wanna talk about anything real Rio: never mind the rest Rio: I'm sorry, that I didn't give you more of a chance to tell your side at the wedding Rio: Nancy was just really in a bad way about it when she got here Buster: You've given me more chances than the rest of this fam does Buster: And you had enough you were dealing with Buster: She's always in a bad way about me, forget it Buster: I don't care Rio: I know its hard being the one expected to look after the others Rio: harder when you can't Buster: She's expected to look after herself, that's the only real problem she's got Rio: Still, you're her older brother, that'll always mean something Buster: We ain't kids any more, that means something too Buster: But to her it means she can't run to me or mum to fix everything Buster: It's about time she finally got her head around that, like Rio: That's true too Rio: I think she's trying Buster: Not hard enough, obviously Rio: She'll get there Rio: but right now, its us Rio: and we can talk about anything we want Buster: Yeah we can Buster: And I ain't even wasted, what a headfuck Rio: I don't wish I was Rio: its better Buster: You don't wish you were 'cause your headache's only just gone Rio: well that Rio: and there's nothing to hide behind Buster: You don't need to hide from me Rio: I don't want to Rio: It feels good being real Buster: I don't want you to Buster: I want you to feel good Rio: I want it for you too Buster: I know Buster: Be here and I will Rio: Your dog won't run away will it Buster: Nah, it's smarter than that Buster: and the only one of us who does what it's told, like Rio: Good, because I don't plan to be chasing it around with the limited time we have Buster: Have you got heels on again? Rio: Maybe Rio: but that's not the point is it 😏 Buster: The point is, you ain't gonna erase the high difference if you do or don't Rio: I'm not trying to Rio: I'm trying to reach you Buster: I'll help you Rio: You better Rio: I like being that close to you Buster: What else do you like? Rio: Sitting on your lap was Buster: Good 'cause you'll have to when I take your shoes off, it's been raining Rio: I won't complain Buster: Neither will your poor feet Rio: You can make me feel better Buster: Yeah, I can and I will Rio: You're so fucking Buster: What? Rio: fucking hot Buster: Oh Rio: Oh? Buster: Why does it feel like the first time anyone's ever said that to me? Rio: 'cos you wanted to hear it from me way before anyone else said it Buster: Fuck Rio: Where am I meeting you, only a few stops away Buster: [a location which we can assume is a park or whatever cos the dog] Rio: 5 minutes Buster: It better be 'cause I'm leaving now Rio: I can't last any longer than that, so it has to be Buster: Poor baby Rio: Oh Buster: Oh? Rio: I like it when you call me that Buster: Okay, baby Rio: 🤤 Rio: how can I already hear how good that sounds in your accent, like Buster: How much have you thought about me saying it? Rio: Not quite as much as I think about you saying my name Rio: but I think about that a lot Buster: Get off the goddamn bus now and I'll say it a lot Buster: Along with anything else you want Rio: I'm gonna hold you to that Rio: if I remember to think of anything but you and where I want you anytime soon Buster: I'm gonna hold you for as long as we have so I'd say it's unlikely you'll be able to think clearly Rio: I don't need to think Rio: I need you Rio: now Buster: Say that again Rio: I need you right now Buster: Is this real? Buster: Jesus Christ Rio: I'm serious, deadly Rio: so if you're playing with me right now, I will kill you Buster: I'm not Buster: I just can't believe this is actually happening Buster: That you feel how I do Buster: That we can tell each other Rio: Me either Rio: I've felt like this for Rio: forever Rio: You can tell me anything, seriously Rio: even if its something you reckon I don't wanna hear, I'd rather that than fuck all Rio: 'cos this is Rio: so much better Buster: I couldn't disagree even if I wanted to Rio: Don't Rio: [be showing up] Buster: [I hope there's lowkey somewhere you can hide if this is a park during the holidays and she legit lives here we don't need to be running into randoms rn] Rio: [you can find some quiet corner lads, I believe in you, even if you have to go into the foliage lowkey] Buster: [at least the dog wouldn't care when he picks her up like immediately cos baze have been there, done that honey] Rio: [lord knows those two are forever highkey] Buster: [I love them so much and every time the kids shade them I'm like excuse you] Rio: [ungrateful brats lol, also literally no way she's not kissing on his as they're tryna walk, like girl, anyone could be here, god bless you highkey idiots] Buster: [it's fine cos we know he's as extra and gives as few fucks] Buster: [at least have a glorious make out session before we move you though] Rio: [live your best life kids, when this has been SO long coming you need to be outside rn or we're outing ourselves immediately and you must not] Buster: [at least with them being outside it'll be easy to make them wanna go home cos so many clothes in the way as it's feb] Rio: [it would be chilly af, with that, first time nerves, the dog and baze blowing up your phone like come back, its believable, away you go] Buster: [yeah and we all know you'd wanna touch and see so much of each other cos you're those bitches] Rio: [good god if you ain't gonna go all out after this] Buster: [How the fuck are they gonna keep quiet for real cos he can put his hand over her mouth or whatever but he's a loud bitch his damn self] Rio: [if you can't get it done now with baze and Nancy home, she will have to come to London] Buster: [yas hot tub surprise 2.0 thank you] Rio: [that will be a cute full circle moment also give you some time to not be cockblocked] Buster: [should we still let them now or say they didn't get chance to fully go all in?] Rio: [Hmm, I say mutual 'things' but still not the full thing, enough to miss each other and know its gonna but being realistic about how much time they can have without Nancy at least noticing] Buster: [I vibe] Rio: [Have a final cockblock babe] Buster: [the goodbye is gonna be so cos can't show how gutted you truly are in front of peeps] Rio: [oh babes, at least you can have a lil private one 'cos that's rough] Buster: [we'll get her to London soon kids don't worry] Rio: [do you think they're going tonight or tomorrow] Buster: [in my head I thought tomorrow morning but it can be whenever] Buster: [ooh he should walk her to the bus so they can have their lil goodbye but nobody can stop him cos it's for safety bitch] Rio: [that's a mood forever, oh the emotions rn like] Buster: [like we don't know the time, it could be getting dark by the time she leaves cos Nancy is highkey] Rio: [how distracted she would be the entire time like I'm so sorry girl lol] Buster: [oh you awkward self centred gay how do you not realize] Rio: [what a read] Buster: Talk to me then Rio: I miss you already Buster: Don't Buster: You're gonna be with me really soon Rio: I know Rio: still Buster: Baby Rio: It doesn't feel real Rio: I can't believe it is Buster: But it is Buster: It happened Rio: I know Rio: my lips were already bruised from last night but now Buster: Yeah, mine too Buster: I'm happy that they are Rio: I need to feel you when you're not around Rio: bruises are good Buster: Exactly Buster: I'd almost forgotten that there was a better feeling than winning a fight Rio: I won't let you forget Buster: Good, don't Rio: I ain't going to Rio: we ain't done here Buster: I'm done here but not with you Rio: I'm definitely holding you to that Buster: You can Rio: What else Rio: whilst you're promising me things Buster: Whatever else you want Rio: Everything Rio: yeah? Buster: I promise Rio: I just want you Rio: all that entails Buster: You have me Rio: and you've got me Buster: I don't wanna go Rio: I know Rio: it feels like when we were younger and the holidays always went too fast Buster: Walking away from you was always so shit Buster: And yet again I'm spending all night looking at a packed suitcase instead of you Buster: Fuck all has changed but everything has, like Rio: its fucking surreal Rio: having to say goodbye in front of your family like I don't care at all Buster: We could leave together tomorrow before the flight Buster: It wouldn't be the first supposedly impossible thing I've ever done Rio: you've gotta go back and do your time as a good boy Rio: otherwise they'll never let me come see you Buster: I've gotta be with you now Rio: When's your flight? Buster: [a time] Buster: I can't get on it Buster: I know I can do anything but I can't Rio: We can make this work Rio: I'll come see you before you go Buster: Fuck it, I just won't go Rio: Buster Rio: Its gonna be okay, I promise Buster: Yeah it will 'cause they can't make me board a plane Buster: I'll just stay with you like we both want Rio: Okay and then what Rio: you've got school to smash, all that important stuff Rio: we'll still be together, it won't be like before, not talking or anything Buster: You're more important than any of it Buster: This way nothing goes to shit as soon as I set foot back in London Rio: It won't go to shit, we won't let it Rio: can do anything, right? Rio: we want this, then we'll have it, no matter what Buster: You have to be right about this Rio: I swear, I'll do everything I can to make it okay Rio: better than okay Buster: I won't lose you again, will I? Rio: No Rio: we can't go back Rio: it's out there now and that's a good thing because we can't hide from it Rio: we have to stick together Buster: Alright Buster: Good Rio: You're gonna be so good, baby, I know it Buster: I'll prove it to you Buster: I don't care what I said about not Rio: I believe in you, Buster Buster: Nobody else has ever told me that before Rio: They should Rio: and I mean it Rio: I've always known you're good Rio: and you're going to be even better Buster: I miss you so fucking much Rio: I feel it too Buster: It's not just today either, you know Buster: It's all the time Buster: You were the best friend I ever had Buster: You are Rio: We can be best friends again Buster: Yeah Buster: I'm not gonna fuck it up from now Rio: Me either Rio: I don't wanna waste time missing you for the wrong reasons Rio: I can deal with missing you for this, when I know I'm gonna still be able to talk to you and be with you at the end of it Rio: but that other bullshit is over now, I can't Buster: Like you said, there's no going back Buster: It's forward, no matter what Buster: Like it or not Buster: But I swear you will Buster: 'Cause I won't hurt you ever again Rio: I get it, why you did what you did Rio: why I did it too, we had to Rio: we had to see if it would go away Rio: but it never did Buster: I'm not sorry that it wouldn't Rio: Obviously Rio: I really fucking like you, yeah Buster: I mean, no cunt's ever gonna change my mind, whatever they say or they think Buster: You're perfect, Rio Buster: That's what I think Rio: You're gonna make me cry on this bus Rio: I'm so glad I know you Rio: and if I didn't, I would find a way Rio: because you're different Rio: like you said, me and you, we're on our own level Buster: Don't cry Buster: Not when I'm not there to wipe the tears away, like Rio: I'll be brave Buster: I know Buster: You're properly brave, and not just for a girl either Rio: You're cute Buster: Remember how annoyed I used to be whenever you called me cute Rio: Yeah Rio: you gonna let me now then 😏 Buster: I'm not gonna stop you Buster: Annoyed ain't the word any more Rio: Good Rio: 'cos that's the least of the compliments I wanna give you, honestly Buster: Yeah? Rio: Yep Rio: Don't wanna spoil you though, save some for later Buster: Why not? I wanna spoil you Rio: You always have Buster: Do you want some duty free, like? Rio: I don't need anything Buster: Pretty sure I said want, babe Rio: I want you to get something that makes you think of me Buster: That'll be easy then Rio: Yeah? Buster: You know I think about you all the time Rio: I do now Buster: Come on, you did Rio: I didn't know, I had an educated guess though Rio: I like it when you say it more than just wondering Buster: You can ask me anything you've ever wanted to know Buster: I like talking to you Rio: You're my favourite person to talk to Buster: Good Rio: I think a plane to see you is actually quicker than this bus Buster: It is Buster: You'll see Rio: Do you think I can come one weekend Rio: I don't wanna wait 'til the next holiday Buster: Fuck waiting til Easter Buster: You're coming as soon as we can talk our parents into it Rio: Definitely Rio: shouldn't be that hard Rio: we'll think of something Buster: 'Course Buster: Like you said, I just need to behave Buster: And your parents are pushovers Rio: Pretty much Rio: its just Nance I'm worried about Buster: I'm about to do my homework in full view so if you wanna talk to her, it's a good time to start Rio: I don't know how to do this Rio: long term, its easier if people think we're friends again, right Rio: or at least on better terms Rio: she's gonna be hardest to convince Buster: You could tell her you were at the party Buster: Getting wasted together is a bonding activity in this fam Buster: Or if you don't wanna be complicit in an action that fucked her holiday, use the wedding instead Buster: Say we've been talking since then, it ain't even a lie Rio: It might help, actually Rio: if I take some of that off you Rio: not that you're gonna be besties but it'll work in our favour if it was my party, which it was Buster: I can handle it, you don't need to worry about me Buster: Do what works for you Rio: I know you can Rio: I just reckon its more understandable than a complete 180 Rio: I was helping slag you off a bit with her, like Buster: What did you say about me? 😏 Rio: I don't even know Rio: she was on one, I didn't disagree Rio: just that you're a prick blah blah blah Buster: You're cute Rio: Really Rio: fine, I won't be nice to you, if that's what you like Buster: Yeah you will Buster: You can't help it Rio: You're right but don't be annoying about it 😏 Buster: Well maybe I can't help it Rio: Being annoying Rio: Maybe, babe Buster: Behave, you're not meant to agree with me Rio: 😂 Rio: It's okay, I still like you Buster: I still like you too Buster: I definitely can't help that Rio: Good Rio: I don't want you to stop Buster: I won't Buster: And I don't wanna either Rio: Promise Buster: Yeah I do Buster: On whatever you want me to swear on Rio: I'll think Rio: but I trust you anyway Buster: You can Buster: I didn't drop you and I never will, obviously Rio: and you always stick to your word Rio: with dares and most things Rio: so I do Buster: With everything Buster: And I'd do anything for you, dare or not Rio: Did I mention I miss you already Buster: Yeah but the more you do, the quicker my homework gets done so I can actually do something about it Rio: [sends voice memo saying it loads 'cos cute nerd] Buster: [sends a pic of his finished homework cos likewise] Rio: It's rude how smart you are, honestly Rio: but can't be mad about it right now Buster: It's rude how smart and beautiful and funny and caring you are Rio: shh 😳 Buster: No Buster: [a voice memo full of compliments so I hope you've left the kitchen or wherever you were doing that homework in full view lol] Rio: [gotta be a bit less obvious than that kids lol] Rio: Why are you so nice to me Buster: 'Cause you deserve it Rio: you do too Buster: You've always been nice to me Buster: Even saved my life after all that brandy, right? Rio: It felt that scary at the time, like Rio: drama 👑 and 👸 Buster: Yeah Buster: I couldn't feel it til later, like Buster: But Rio: We've done some pretty stupid stuff yeah Buster: More than our fair share, I reckon Buster: And we'll obviously do loads more Rio: That works for me Buster: London's full of stupid shit Buster: You'll love it Rio: Do you Rio: apart from the cunts Buster: It's less boring than Cambs Buster: Nothing ever happened there Rio: You can take me to all the cool places Buster: Before Nance tries to drag you to all the shit ones Rio: 😏 Rio: Shame I don't have any nerdy gay friends to distract her with.. Rio: I'll have to get on that too Buster: You could bring Junior Buster: It'd be like when we were kids Rio: Not exactly what I meant but I could Rio: though idk if adding to the amount of people we have to avoid is the right idea either Buster: I know what you meant but pimping my sister out isn't the right one either Rio: 🙄 don't make it sound so sordid Rio: but it isn't, she's so shy, bless her Buster: She ain't shy, she just needs to be around the right people Rio: She is quite shy Rio: it's not a bad thing strictly Buster: Whatever Rio: Its not fair, is it Buster: What? Rio: That we live in different countries Buster: We won't always Buster: When we're older we can go where we want Rio: We should Rio: there's so many places I wanna go Buster: Then we will Rio: There's so much I wanna do with you Buster: I want you there whatever I'm doing Buster: We should be together all the time Buster: So much of it has already been wasted Rio: Then I will be Rio: simple as Rio: nothing or no one can get in our way Buster: I have a fight [insert a weekend date for it that's soon] can you come to London then? Rio: I'll ask my parents soon as they're back Rio: but I don't see why not Buster: Okay Rio: I don't know if I wanna see you get hurt Rio: but I'll still cheer you on Buster: You won't see that Buster: I don't get hurt Rio: Don't Buster: Don't worry Buster: There's nobody as good as me Rio: I know Buster: You can watch me play football instead, if you want Rio: No, I wanna Rio: I can just watch you with boxing Buster: Alright Rio: I mean, I'd come to both Buster: It's a standing invitation, like Buster: For as long as I'm doing both Rio: I'll support you in anything, you know that Rio: long as it can just be me and you after, like Buster: It can always be just me and you Buster: Like you said, nothing and nobody's getting in the way Buster: And nothing or nobody's more important to me Rio: Buster Rio: You're incredible Rio: perfect Buster: You are Rio: you Buster: Tell me when you're back home Buster: I'll call you Rio: you could call now Rio: I don't mind Rio: just wanna hear your voice Buster: [obvs does]

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definealetheia · 5 years ago

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Note to self when I feel like I'm going insane (unfinished)

STOP OVERTHINKING!

Sit back, relax, and take deep breaths.

Listen to chakra tune up meditation music. Unblock your chakras and let the energy flow through your body.

Don't intentionally block your heart chakra. Stop suppressing your feelings, whether it is good or bad. You have to deal with them and heal your wounds. The more you suppress your feelings, the longer your agony will get.

Do you still have doubts about the connection?

Remember that you have already let go of the label Twin Flame. The question whether he is your Divine Masculine or not is not important anymore. The Universe may or may not give you the answer after all. BUT you can honor what you feel is true. You love him. This is your truth. You don't need the Universe to tell you that.

It is okay to doubt the connection sometimes. It is normal to experience doubts and fears in this journey. It is scary and full of uncertainties.

I don't get why other twins refer to someone they meet as "catalyst" who will activate your awakening and you believed as your twin but ended up as otherwise. Same logic goes for false twin. I don't get it. I don't think there is a false twin or a catalyst. That person is either your twin or not. Why would you need a catalyst to activate you? Your twin can do that himself. It doesn't make sense to me. People who started their spiritual journey even before they met their twin were awakened due to several possible reasons. May be because of traumatic experiences or they come from a spiritual background. As for those who were not awakened until they met their twin, I don't understand why the person who activated them ends up only as a catalyst. What for? You will only recognize that person as a catalyst once you meet your true twin. And then it would be like you're restarting your twin flame journey with your true twin! Wth.

Remember the reasons and synchonicities that lead you to believe he is your twin.

He activated my spiritual awakening.

It was August 29, 2018. I met my twin online right after I graduated from grad school. I finished another milestone in my life. I finished a job contact and ready to start a new life. I was optimistic about the future. I've been single for years and thought it would be nice a start a new one. But I didn't want to start a relationship just for the heck of it. I wanted to find the one. I've been saying this to the Universe for a quite some time. I might have manifested it when I met your twin without knowing it.

I've been suffering from MDD and GAD for years. I was in medication and went in and out of hospitals after every suicide attempt. For a long time I was suffering from an existential crisis. I did not know who I am or why I am alive. I did not have dreams of my own and was just living to fulfill the expectations of my family and society. I did not have any goals nor did I have reasons or motivations to pursue anything except meeting others' expectations of me. I needed to finish school and establish a good career, help my parents, and then have my own family. As good as those things were, I did not have the right motivation to do that.

I have always felt I don't belong anywhere. I was bullied in school and even at work. It made my depression even worse. Everywhere I go, terrible things always end up happening. I always felt uncomfortable, unsafe, and being wronged by people. I felt unlucky and miserable all the time. Everytime I try to turn my life around and gain a little hope, terrible things happen and that little hope I had get taken away from me.

I was never religious nor spiritual. Having a master's degree in Philosophy, I have an extensive experience on critical thinking and being skeptical. I don't label myself as agnostic. In fact, when it comes to my spirituality, I refrained from associating myself from any religious group or any spiritual belief. However, during one Philosophy class where we talked about religion where some of my classmates studied in Catholic seminaries, I remember sharing that I don't believe in (Christian conception) God but I do believe that there is someone or something, maybe it be metaphysical, divine, or a force that governs everything in the Universe.

I have always had the affinity to look at the sunset and the night sky. I has been part of my routine. My childhood dream was to became an astronaut or astronomer. But life happened. Part of my routine was talking to the Universe while watching the night sky. Whenever I feel suicidal I always tell them that I don't belong down here. I want to be among the stars. That's where I feel I belong, not here. I talk to the stars as often as I can. They saw me cry and all. They let me know they are listening by showing me shooting stars. I even saw asteroid Juno and other comets during one of my nightly routine. It always feels magical when they show me how beautiful the Universe is.

Recognizing the soul connection

I have been interested in Japanese culture and martial arts. I've been practicing a japanese sword martial arts since January 2017. Since I wanted to learn the language, I installed a language exchange application on my phone and that's where I met him. To be honest, I was open to the thought of possibly meeting someone online but I did not realize that I would actually meet someone like him. I met men who were more interested in flirting with me than learning another language. That's very common online. But I was not interested in them but when I met my twin, I did not know that from then on, my life will turn bat shit crazy. I was just following ramdom people on the app but I also made sure they did not look sketchy or suspicious. He followed me back. He suddenly commented on a picture I posted of me and my cat and then he sent me a private message. My first impression of him is he was very flirty and straithforward with giving compliments, unlike most Japanese I talked to who were polite and unsure of themselves. When I looked at his picture, I immediately felt something different about him especially when I looked at his eyes. But I couldn't put my finger on it. I never felt anything like it before. I felt like I knew him. There was a sense of familiarity and comfortabilitily. We started talking on Line, sent audio messages, and even talked on video call for hours. He send messages when he wakes up, goes to work, while working, coming home, and before sleeping. It like was a honeymoon phase of a relationship. I told myself it was too good to be true.

I needed to know more about him so I asked him if he was single. He wasn't. I felt like a bucket of cold water was thrown at me. He was still flirty and acting like there's more to us than acquaintances. But because of that reality check, I kept asking myself where I stand. Sometimes he treats me like a girlfriend all then all of a sudden he acts like a stranger. When the conversation gets hot and he becomes more flirty than normal that's where I remind him that he has a gf and I don't want to be in a third party. He told me they haven't talked for a while and he felt lost. I felt worse. I felt like he was just bored and wants to use me to fill in the void. Since I knew I was falling inlove, I made it clear to him that if he wants to continue talking to me like we are in a relationship, then I want to be only one. There should be no other woman. He couldn't give me an answer. He always dodged the question to the point that I get frustrated and just drop it. Add the language barrier to the mix. During one of our arguments, I kept asking him how he really felt about me and his answer was that he wanted to meet. I did not expect that answer. Even if I agreed to that, I reminded him that he has gf and he just told me they hadn't talked.

When he came back to Japan from one of work trips, that's when things went downhill. He used to give me updates on where he was or what he doings but that time I did tell me he already came back. His messages became short. Sometimes just one word. It's obvious he didn't want to be bothered or he just didn't want to talk to me. There were even sarcastic messages. It was my cue to leave him be.

We stared with talking to each other all day everyday until it became more and more seldom. There were days when he wouldn't talk. Then a sudden message after days of silence. I did not chase him or beg him to talk to me. But I once told him how I sad was that he changed. I was crying a lot. My heart got broken so many times. October 2018 came and after over a month of the honeymoon phase, he finally ghosted me.

Kundalini awakening and rising

I became more and more depressed and desperate for answers. I kept asking the Universe: Why did this happen? What was the point? I closed myself off for years and stopped dating after experiencing traumatic relationships. Right when I finally decided to take a risk, open my heart, and love again, this happened to me? I did not understand the point of it all. Letting another person in and then he just breaks my heart? This was the last chance I gave myself to love and this shit happened. Before I met him, I told myself that if I ever meet someone and fall in love, it will be the last time. I want to me the one. I am tired of being hurt so many times.

I was so confused. I was hurt, angry, and frustrated. Wanting to find the answers, I started watching tarot readings on Youtube. I never believed in Astrology. I was too skeptical for that. But I watched hundreds of readings out of desperation to find the answers. I got mixed result on the readings. There were times that the readings resonated so much that my mind was blown so many times. But there were others that just made me more confused and paranoid. The best takeaway from those readings is that divine timing is at work. I have to trust in the Universe and give them space to work things out. I can't force things to happen. The only thing I can do is set healthy boundaries and don't let anyone treat me like a doormat.

I spent the next few weeks just watching readings, crying at night, and trying to cope with the pain. The readings said that there will be communication and it did happen. By the time happened, I literally said "this shit is real." I was surprised that he messaged me and asked how I was. But after the inital shock, I was overcome by anger and hurt. He wanted communication just when I was starting to gain balance and not think of him that much. I was torn between telling him off and just accept that he is back. I replied 2-3 days later telling him I'm doing good.

The communication started again but I was seldom. He called me on 11/11 but I couldn't answer. He just randomly sends a message after a few days of silence and or calls all of a sudden and then disappear again. So flakey! I got fed up and set my foot down. I asked him why he wants call or talk to me. He said he always wanted to call and enjoys being with me. I called out his BS. I reminded him that he stopped talking to me. He can't just come in and out of life as he pleases. He should stop playing mind games with me. He just said to me "Oh don't say that 😭." I told him I deserve an explanation and tell me why he disappeared. He said he did not disappear. I told him it hurts me that he's not being honest with me. He said he was being honest. See the pattern here? I asked him again what happened and he just answered "I don't remember." That was it. I told him I'm a very patient person (I'm a fucking Taurus okay) but he pushed me too far. I won't ask anymore. It's obvious he didn't wanna answer. I'm done.

I was livid. I'm done dealing with a player and emotionally unvailable jackass. That's the start of our separation. It was 11/12.

I spent the rest of November dealing with rollercoaster of emotions. One moment I'm angry, and them I'm in pain, and then lonely ect. It was a torture. There were times when I went into relapse. I thought I have officially gone insane. I just wanted to die.

The first time I came across the term twin flame was through watching tarot readings. I never heard of the time before even when I met my twin. I wasn't interested in learning more about it at first. All I know was that it was different from soulmates and it was rare. I have never thought of myself as special (just different) so I did not think I needed to know about it. But curiosity got the better of me and finally decided to do some research. Lo and behold, I resonated with most of the signs that were listed. The things that happened to me made more sense now. But that was not enough to convince me.

More and more meditation music started appearing on my youtube suggestions. It was December when I finally decided to try a guided meditation. It's my first entry. I felt the urge to do it more and more often until I came across a meditation to awaken my spirit. Before this entire journey I would never think of trying it but since I have been activated, might as well continue on improving myself. I played the music when looking at the sunset. When I came to opening the third eye, I started seeing particles in mid air. They look specks of light or little transparent bubbles floating around. As weeks went by I seem them clearer. I don't even have to concentrate or be in meditative state to see them. I see another invisible layer in my environment as well. I see rain or drizzle even if it's not really raining. I also see "rain" and particles even indoors now. As long as there is light. I tune up my chakra almost everyday. I don't feel right when I don't meditate in a few days.

10/13/2019 ~ 2:41 PM (this has been saved in my Drafts since Jan/Feb -- I'm not sure anymore)

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thechillicount · 6 years ago

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Bungou Stray Dogs Questionnaire

Rules: Complete all the questions you want, expand and explain your answers as much as you want, and have fun!

If you can, tag some people you want to join in on the fun!

So I tag anyone that sees this and wants to do it to have fun! Everyone is welcomed!

Thank youuuu @usagiomega

What ability would you have in the BSD universe?

(That one's hard~!)

Melodic Speed: The more I listen to music the faster and agile I get. Pretty simple, I like simple. It could get to the point that others are unable to see me because I'm that fast. (I combined two things I do most often, listening to music and being slow. Totally not inspired by Hamatora.)

If you could claim someone's ability in BSD, whose ability would you want?

(Don't say Chuuya's, don't say Chuuya's)

I'm really tempted by Edgar's ability. To trap people in books until they solve the mystery inside? I'd say dope! That would also make me write more as I have a few people I'd like to trap, just for fun~

What group/organization would you join?

Port Mafia for sure as I'm a villain at heart but still want to have a reliable and strong family around me. Also because I can wear a lot of black. But Mori can stay locked in his room.

Which BSD character do you identify with the most?

Honestly Ranpo. I do the exact same things that he does, laze around and eat baked goods. But that's only on the outside.

On the inside I identify with Chuuya a lot. Him hating betrayals is something that hits too close to home. Him wanting to protect Port Mafia that took him in after his previous group pushed him away. Him being loyal as heck not even knowing if he'll be able to stay forever or not. Like I said, hits too close to home.

Who are your top five favourite BSD characters?

(Surprise surprise)

Dazai: The very first time he appeared I took him for an asshole, which he kinda is. But then I quickly grew to like him as I was getting interested in his character on a deeper level. I like his two faced personality, he acts derpy and cute only to turn into a mischievous sadist that he truly is. The Dark Era also made me gain respect and much more love for him.

Chuuya: He introduced me to BSD when I first saw him in this MEP (bless and R.I.P MDS). So in 2016! I even remember watching BSD during Christmas Eve dinner under the table! Not gonna lie, his looks hooked me in. When I finally got him after so many episodes I was interested even more. He has some history with my boy Dazai? Show me, tell me! Until recently I've been thirsty for some more Chuuya and got it in the new season, I'm still gonna read the actual light novel though. But nonetheless, I'm satisfied. I actually hope BONES doesn't make him an another main character because I like him as he is. I like redhead hotheads like Chuuya or Taiga Kagami. Also, I was already a huge fan of GRANRODEO in 2016 so hearing Kishow was a blessing. All thanks to Kuroko no Basket. ♡

Oda: His precious heart made me love him! He just wanted to write, to take care of the kids. Each time I remember my heart cries a river. And each time something new comes to the BSD universe with him in it I love it but also can't take it.

MANGA SPOILERS

Tecchou: First of all, I really like the concept of Hunting Dogs. Second of all, this boy is precious. Justice fighter who respects people that want to protect others. The whole scene with the cafe owner moved my freaking heart, I kid you not. Unlike other members of the Hunting Dogs he doesn't want to bring down ADA just because they're supposed criminals but because it's his job to keep the country and it's people safe. And so he's doing it, no matter what he must do. I'm pretty sure that if he would find out the truth he'll try to stop his teammates and explain who's the real villain here. I hope it happens! His habits are also hilarious.

(Translation by Dazaiscans of course.)

Michizou: I don't know if I can count him as a "favorite" yet but I really liked what Asagiri-sensei and Harukawa-sensei did with him. The reveal is one of my favorite manga scenes ever! I'm looking forward to seeing more of him as I was dying to since I started watching BSD. I won't forgive him for hurting Gin though, that's one huge minus.

(Translation by Dazaiscans of course.)

Are there any authors that you'd want to bring into the BSD universe that hasn't arrived yet? Or do you have OCs?

Oh boy, here we go!

I do have one author that I think would fit very well. He's a polish poet from a romanticism era (my fave) that wrote poems, epics, ballads. His name is Adam Mickiewicz ladies and gents. Why do I think he would fit? Well, he was born in Poland that didn't actually exist and people were fighting for its freedom. So fight was already in his blood which he later on proved by becoming a commander in a battle. He was in a lot of conspiracy groups. And because of that I feel like fitting in BSD is just a matter of what kind of organization is he going to be in. He even had contact and made friends with Russian Decemberists, made enemies with Pushkin (who already is in BSD). If Adam would be in BSD I believe he'd have contact with the Rats before they fled to Japan. And because of his conspiracy origins I say he spied on the Rats from within. As for his ability I believe it would be some fighting type one as real life Adam took part in battles. I wanted to give him an ability that has something to do with his play "Dziady" but I haven't really decided yet.

Favourite Scene(s)?

Anime

Dazai floating in river; Dazai nullifying Atsushi's ability; Chuuya's reveal; Atsushi and Akutagawa fighting Fitzgerald; Atsushi hugging Kyouka; Any scene with Oda; Any scene with 15 year old Chuuya and Osamu except for the hand holding one; Fyodor killing Karma, (I'm so sorry)

Manga

Chuuya shooting bullets using gravity; Tachihara's reveal; Yosano's backstory; Mori and Fukuzawa's fight; Fukuzawa and Fukuchi scene; Any Tecchou scene; Hunting Dogs being chaotic; Chuuya getting tired and punching everyone; Dazai getting shot; Edgar getting scared by his ringtone; Dazai and Fyodor in a chess duel; Any Sigma scene.

(Translation by Dazaiscans of course.)

Favourite Quotes from the Authors/Characters?

(Thank Gods there's bsd-bibliophile~ Great help!)

Mine has been a life of much shame.

- Dazai Osamu, No Longer Human

To love someone is to put your life on the line. I don't take it lightly.

- Dazai Osamu, "Female" from Self Portraits

Bad people are to be found everywhere, but even among the worst there may be something good.

- Fyodor Dostoyevsky (Фёдор Достоевский), The House of the Dead

It is better to be unhappy and know the worst, than to be happy in a fool's paradise.

- Fyodor Dostoyevsky (Фёдор Достоевский), The Idiot

A fool with a heart and no sense is just as unhappy as a fool with sense and no heart.

- Fyodor Dostoyevsky (Фёдор Достоевский), The Idiot

(I'm currently reading Dostoyevsky in my literature class sooo)

Life is worth living as long as there's a laugh in it.

- L. M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables

Because when you are imagining, you might as well imagine something worth while.

- L. M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables

People laugh at me because I use big words. But if you have big ideas, you have to use big words to express them, haven't you?

- L. M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables

(One of my favorite books ever)

That threw me for a loop...is that my ringtone?

- Edgar Allan Poe getting scared by his ringtone, Chapter 55

(I had to)

Certainly, people are sinfully stupid. But what's so wrong about that?

- Dazai Osamu, Chapter 46

(Can I wait till Friday for that? I'll try)

Who would you want to bring to life to be your best friend? Waifu/Husbando?

There are a lot but I'm gonna go classic and say Chuuya. I'd love to make fun of him for being shorter than me and watch him go berserk. Like I said, I'm a villain at heart. I love him tons though! Dazai is also a pick as he's already very similar to my best friend. I have weird friends.

How has Bungou Stray Dogs changed you as a person? Did you learn anything from it?

I learned that I strive to write as good as Asagiri-sensei because his writing is amazing in my opinion. BSD also introduced me to a ton of Japanese authors as it's the case with most of its watchers. And even though I don't have a lot of time to read their books now (school and grade chasing as I only have 3 weeks to improve them), I'm going to read EVERYTHING I CAN during summer vacations. Good luck to me~

#bungou stray dogs #bungou stray dogs manga #bungou stray dogs spoilers #bsd #bsd dazai #bsd chuuya #bsd tecchou #bsd tachihara #bungou stray dogs questionnaire

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bluephoenixdruidicprincess · 6 years ago

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Shadowhunters 3x11, Lost Souls -- Review

It's that time of the year again where I put myself through the torture of enduring this show. Watching this show is like going on an endurance run. You drag your feet when you first start, when you get acclimated to the level of exercise, you think "hey, this isn't too bad" and then by the end, it's just pain...but also a sense of pride that you made it through. That's been my experience with the show, anyway. And it's basically how I felt about Shadowhunters 3x11, Lost Souls.

I would like to preface this review with saying that I am NOT a huge supporter of this show. I do enjoy certain elements of it but I'm not what would be classified as a devoted fan. For me, Shadowhunters is not a good show and I do get very critical of the show in my reviews. Honestly, for me, I watch the show because 1) I'm too curious not to and 2) I find that this show can be so bad its funny and that's how I reap enjoyment out of it. I am not at all invested in this show or its characters anymore. I'm just watching to see what happens. If you're a die hard fan and you lash out at everyone who has a different opinion than you, you might want to skip these...I'm just saying. My reviews may not be for you. If you do decide to be a total troll, well then pay attention to the below disclaimer.

This is going to be an honest review of my thoughts and feelings regarding this episode. If you're the kind of Shadowhunters fan where you only want to hear positive things about the show, this is not the place for you. If you decide to stick around and get offended by what is said, then that's on you. I warned you. Just know that if you send me any rude comments or messages, I will 100% ignore you. I find that's the best way to deal with bullies. I work 14 hour days. Do you really think I want to waste my incredibly valuable free time dealing with derogatory comments? Hell no. This review will consist of my honest opinions. Opinions are never right or wrong. I'm not telling YOU how to think and feel. I'm telling you what I, quirky and socially awkward me, think and feel. So please, lets discuss with dignity and respect. If I'm critical about this show, it's only because I want it to get better. There is, in fact, a difference between hating a show and being critical of it. I do not hate Shadowhunters, I am being critical and analyzing the flaws as I would with any other show. There are positives but there are also negatives. It's great if you want to promote positivity with this show (and I encourage you to do so) but that doesn't mean I'm not going to point out the things that are legitimately wrong with it. Also, keep in mind that despite the fact that I do like the books, me being critical of this show has nothing to do with my fondness for the books. I don't really care if the show deviates from the source material as long as the changes are good, it makes sense, and it doesn't create plot holes within the confines of the world the show has created. My problems with this show are problems I would have with any show or book for that matter. I think it's perfectly reasonable to take issue with a show that has plot holes, shoddy world building, and inconsistent characters. There will be spoilers for the books and movie.

We are at last embarking upon the final episodes of this show and if this episode is what's going to set the tone for the remaining episodes, then I'm glad it's the final episodes because...well, this episode wasn't great and is a perfect example of what I won't miss about Shadowhunters. Bland and cringey dialogue, more characters than it knows what to do with, and too much jumping across plot points. There are individual moments in the episode I enjoyed but overall, this isn't an episode I loved.

The Loss of the Mary Sue

I'm not entirely certain of the timeline in this episode. The episode never specifies on exactly how many days have passed since the 3A finale but I'm going to estimate about a week or so. Everyone believes Clary died in the explosion caused by Lillith attacking Simon.

The episode opens with Jace, Izzy, and Alec chasing after a downworlder and Jace makes some very shoddy decisions in this fight that lets you see just how reckless he's become in the wake of Clary's "death". We then get a montage of everyone missing Clary and the more significant one is Jace, that's the one they spent the most amount of time on. He's basically walking through Clary's room remembering all the times he spent with Clary...so basically three memories. Another classic example of what I've always been talking about when it comes to the adaptation changes. Clary and Jace have barely spent any amount of time together, even less actually dating and I'm supposed to believe that they're each other's one true love...not going to happen because the show didn't develop it at all. There's a moment in the montage where Jace starts looking at Clary's drawings and getting really emotional about it and I felt nothing because Jace has never been shown to take any sort of interest in Clary's artwork before. In fact, if it weren't for that one scene in 3A, I wouldn't even have known that Clary was still drawing. By the show deviating from the books in the way they did, Clace had less development but yet the show still wants to continue the aspect of Clace being hopelessly in love from the books. You can't make a significant change from the source material and then pages down the line expect to pick up exactly where you left off. By making the change, you changed the entire context of the relationship so now the entire story has to change in order to fit that new narrative. Sadly, the Shadowhunters writers have not figured that out yet and continue to make that same mistake...or they're lazy, it could be that, too. Jace eventually gets so depressed that it's implied that he's contemplating suicide but Izzy is able to talk to him and get him to think. And then she just leaves him after making him promise he won’t go through with it. If anyone's wondering, if you catch someone who you believe may be contemplating suicide, do not UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, LEAVE THEM ALONE!!! Particularly in a dark room. Being in a dark enclosed space is not the kind of place that typically sends out positive energy. But I suppose I can cut Izzy a little bit of a break. It's entirely possible the Shadowhunter world doesn't really understand how to help someone who's experiencing suicidal thoughts. They certainly didn’t help out Jace’s mother. Alec also confronts Jace about this in probably the only believable scene in this entire episode. Seriously, I've never been a Jalec shipper but I totally understand why people ship them. Matt and Dom are probably the only actors who actually have any chemistry with each other. But Alec tells Jace he's doing the memory of Clary a disservice and that if Jace were to die, it would destroy him as well. In other words, Jace isn't the only one who's going to be affected by this decision. Jace eventually is called by Luke who for some reason appears to be living in a motel room. I don't know why but whatever. Luke doesn't believe Clary is actually dead and he tries to convince Jace through some really weird conspiracy theory that probably even flat-earthers would find difficult to believe. But hey, if it leads to them finding Clary, I'll go with it. And I understand why Luke is unable to accept even the possibility that Clary might be gone for good. He can't think that about someone who he basically views as his daughter and the last connection he has to Jocelyn. Luke gives the evidence to Jace and tells Jace to at least check it out.

Simon, understandably, is also having a difficult time with all this. And Maia returns to give him emotional support despite leaving for a very particular and totally understandable reason but Simon needs her so of course she comes back for him. It's not like Maia exists for anything else but for Simon's character arc. Both Simon and Izzy kind of passive-aggressively shame Maia about leaving. And I'm particualrly disappointed in Izzy telling Maia about what happened to Simon's family as that's a very deeply personal issue and Simon should've been the one to tell her. It wasn't Izzy's secret to tell. I get that they were trying to use that scene to exposit information to the audience but there were better ways of doing that. Hell, it could've just been Izzy making an off-handed comment about Simon. Maia could've been talking to Izzy about how badly Simon is doing with the Clary situation and Izzy could've been all, "especially with what happened with his family" and Maia could've been shocked and Izzy could've been flabbergasted because she didn't know Maia didn't know. That would've been a much better way for the situation to be handled. But I'm not too pleased with Izzy saying in response to Maia not knowing, "well how could you? you weren't around." Just the insinuation that Maia should stay around and support her man and not go off and get in the right head space to properly heal herself after dealing with the re-emergence of her abuser. But I suppose I shouldn’t expect any different from Izzy seeing as she, herself, also only exists to give support the other characters. I think these passive aggressive intonations of shaming Maia are really horrible and shame on the writer. Maia, Izzy, and Simon decide to work together to find a way to get rid of the Mark of Cain from Simon's forehead. They talk to Raphael who now works at a soup kitchen in Detroit and Raphael tells them the tale of some dude chilling in the sewers of NYC who could possibly be the oldest vampire alive and may have answers to the removal of the Mark of Cain. Maia decides not to help Simon on this as its a bad idea for a werewolf and a vampire to meet and I almost forgot that was a thing, the show so rarely does anything with the vampire vs werewolf dynamic. But of course Maia has to back off to give room for Sizzy. I’m really not a big fan of Sizzy being explored here as everything that made Sizzy fun and interesting in the books has been completely stripped from the show. I’d much prefer Saia on the show. But really, I just want Maia and Izzy to have their own character arc, though that doesn’t revolve around shipping.

The Malec B-Plot

We have a Malec B-plot that I found just completely unnecessary wherein Iris returns and kidnaps Magnus because she wants to get Madzie back. She falls for the most obvious trap in the world and hopefully we never see Iris again. What it does for Magnus's story works I guess but I just found it to be a really obtrusive subplot that didn’t fit at all with the episode. I'm not sure if it's just the fact that I've been away from the show for a year so I can see the the show a little more clearly now but the Malec chemistry is no longer working for me. Maybe it's just that I've always paid more attention to how alarmingly unequal their relationship is but I'm looking at the body language they're giving off and its not the kind of body language you would expect from lovers. They're so stiff around each other and not relaxed at all.

In fact, there's a line in this episode where Malec has just put Madzie to bed as they're baby-sitting her and Alec kisses Magnus and Magnus tells him to stop because they have a child in the apartment currently. Alec kind of scoffs because it's just a kiss and Magnus is all, "You know how we get." And I'm like, "Do we really, though?" There's plenty of scenes of them talking and I can buy them as friends with that but lovers? I’m having a difficult time actually buying that now. Like I said before, the Jalec scene was way more believable than any Malec scene in this episode.

But Magnus decides he doesn't want to feel helpess ever again so he decides he needs to learn how to fight. Honestly, I was surprised to learn that this is implying he doesn't even seem to really have any basic self-defense capabilities. The way he was swinging the sword earlier in this episode lead to me to believe otherwise. Plus, Harry Shum Jr is a pretty buff dude but I guess maybe Magnus lifts weights and that’s it. Alec decides to help him out on this venture, though.

Siblings Reunited

We find out that Clary is indeed not dead and that Jonathon's back. I'll be real, here. It's kind of hard to feel sad for Jace or Simon or Luke or anyone really regarding the "death" of Clary, considering this entire episode is interspliced with moments of Clary being very much alive. Honestly, I think this episode would've functioned better if it was just about showing everyone going through all the different stages of grief regarding Clary and at the end of the episode when they've hit the acceptance stage, that's when we see Clary wake up in the apartment with Jonathon. But whatever. The show decided not to go that route so we have to make do with what we got. Clary wakes up and looking pretty damn fantastic for someone who's been asleep for days. Not a strand of hair out of place, make-up is flawless, and not a wrinkle to be found on her clothing. In fact, I think they're in even better condition than they were when Clary initially had to put them on. Clary also isn't even the slightest bit groggy, she knows exactly where she's at and everything. Clary does comas well. Jonathon tells Clary that it is indeed him, her big brother and that before Lillith was sent to hell she sent them away to Siberia, apparently. Clary plays nice for a little bit with Jonathon but decides to chance out in the cold of Siberia. It's nice to see that in her state of unconsciousness her muscles didn't atrophy from lack of movement or deteriorate from lack of food. But Clary fails in her escape, Jonathon finds her and brings her back. Clary tries to stab him with a knife but they both find out that what happens to one person will also happen to the other. So yeah, we're full in City of Lost Souls plot here which is ironically the title of this episode. Shadowhunters has never been all that subtle. This new actor for Jonathon is going to take some getting used to. Will Tudor did a phenomenal job with him so its difficult to see this new guy as Jonathon. But it also is difficult to take Clary's anger and hatred of Jonathon seriously when you think about all that Jonathon's really done on the show is kill a shadowhunter Clary had never met before and then injured Max and Max swiftly recovered. Clary is all about painting him as the worst possible being and indeed, in the books, he is but here, while he may be a bad guy who's done really bad things, I don't know if its deserving of that level of hatred. We haven't exactly seen a lot of his horrifying dastardly deeds. Another example of making a change and then thinking you can still keep the same storyline at a later point in the story. I'm certainly not saying I wanted Max to die but story-telling wise, it would make the emotions Clary's feeling here a little more believable. But I'm actually really interested to see where this whole Jonathon and Clary plot goes. In the books, it's Jace that's put in this situation so it'll be interestig to see how the show tackles Clary being in this situation. I'm also wondering, because they seem to be trying to stay away from the incest vibes here, is Jonathon going to gain an unhealthy obsession with Jace instead of Clary? In the books, Clary was who Jonathon was creepily obsessed with. He was equating possession with love and viewed that Clary belonged to him in every way imaginable. So since the roles of Clary and Jace have been reversed here, will Jonathon's obsession now change from Clary to Jace? Probably not but it would've been interesting to see for sure. I mean, if you're going to do a role reversal, you might as well go all the way, right?

The Clave Acting Shady AF

The Clave is being super shady right now. They appear to be doing experiments on the incarcerated downworlders and all I can say is, "do we really need this?" And also, "Why is it being implied that Jia knows about this and is okay with this?" The interesting thing about Jia in the books was the fact that she was the first step in the leadership to help get rid of the more corrupt aspects of the Clave and instigating change. But I suppose it's per the norm for the show to make everyone but the main group a bad guy instead of morally grey. As I've said before, this show has no concept of subtlety. I can only imagine that this is leading into the part in City of Glass the show hasn't done yet wherein the alliance rune is going to be introduced but instead of using it to fight Valentine, they're going to use it to fight Jonathon. That's what these downworlder experiments seem to be leading into as it reminds me a lot of Valentine experimenting in the books. I'm sure there was 0 social commentary intended when writing this into the show, though...but I think its safe to say it's totally social commentary. The show isn't very subtle, once again.

But good news is it looks like Ollie is gone for good so yay! I am side-eying the show, though about that. What was the point of introducing her if you weren't going to do anything with her? I'd say they probably wasted about half of 3A with Ollie unnecessarily. But maybe if this show hadn't been cancelled, Ollie would've played a more significant role? Well anyway, at least some of the fat has been trimmed.

My biggest issue, as always, is the dialogue. The dialogue felt extremely one-note. It was almost like the writer made a flow chart of what they wanted to happen in this episode and was like, "crap! I guess my characters do need to speak, here's some lines to explain what's going on." The dialogue basically existed solely for the purpose of giving exposition but the real kicker is that it was really unnecessary. I could've had this episode on silent (and that might've even have made it an improvement) and I would've understood what was happening perfectly. The dialogue really didn't add anything to the experience, it just made the episode feel more awkward than it already was. And then there continues the trend of Shadowhunters treating their awesome plans as if they’re the most clever plans in the world when in actuality, the plan is beyond obvious and it was super cringey and awkward seeing Izzy being treated as this amazing strategist for making the obvious move. And the episode was already plenty awkward with the constant cutting. It's really difficult to enjoy any particular subplot going on in this show when we only spend maybe 30 seconds to a minute on any particular moment. I kind of wish this show structured their episodes more around themes as opposed to plot. Plot is temporary, plot is always changing but exploring themes through plot gives you more of an appreciation not only for the characters but the story, itself. While I didn't mind sequences in this episode, at the end of the day, it just kind of left me feeling empty. I also think the acting felt a little stilted as well. I wasn't a big fan of any of the performances given in this episode and whereas I've never thought anyone on this show was oscar-worthy for their performances in the past on this show, their performances have always been maybe a C+ to a B. But in this episode, it just didn't feel like any of the actors' hearts were in it. Now granted, that could be a side effect of the script because, as I've mentioned before, the script wasn't great. Or it could've been the directing. There's a lot of reasons for why acting can feel stilted and it very rarely has to do with the actor or actress being bad at acting.

I've made notes about how the dialogue and acting was stilted but those weren't the only things that were. The fight choreography and the blocking felt a little off as well. For starters, the fight choreography did not feel organic. It was strangely reminiscent of season 1 fight choreography. The constant jump cuts so you don't see too much of what's actually happening and just feeling like fight scenes move very slowly. Like the reaction times between sword swing to parry were very slow and it kept on taking me out of the moment. Then you also had moments where Alec and Izzy catch up with Jace in the sewer and everyone's staring at the seelie they're trying to capture for a good 5 seconds before the actual fight continues. And then there's just strange blocking choices where a character walks to a point in the room and then delivers their line but the walk to the new mark wasn’t organic and actually made the line feel more awkward.

I'd probably give this episode a C+. It was passable, with enjoyable moments but ultimately not something I have any desire to return to. There were cute moments (primarily Jalec and Madzie), but overall as an episode, not something to be too terribly impressed with. And yes, there were moments I did like. It’s not my fault the show just had more bad parts I felt compelled to talk about.

#shadowhunters 3b #shadowhunters 3x11 #shadowhunters lost souls #rife with unpopular opinions #read at your own risk

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