#hiram lodge gay

[spermeboy]

pairings: hiram lodge x male reader

request: I don't know if you're taking requests or could I request a dom top Hiram Lodge and bottom femboy 19 year old male leader who is Archie's brother and Veronica's best friend and one night stayed with Veronica and catches Hiram in the kitchen naked and hard so he talks to his knees starts licking and sucking Hiram big cock and Hiram started Facefucking until he fills his mouth full of c** throws him on the kitchen table and fucking Reader hard by covering his mouth until he breeds the reader.

warnings: SMUT, anal sex, breeding, swearing, cum consumption, slurs.

Your brother Archie warned you about staying at the Lodge's house. He had some bad history with Hiram and was worried he may take it out on you while you were staying the night with Veronica, and in a way... that's exactly what happened. Once Veronica had fallen asleep, you were practically dying of thirst. You stumbled your way through the dark, making your way to the kitchen, your eyes widen in shock as you stand slightly away from the kitchen doorway submerged in darkness, Hiram Lodge was in the kitchen... naked and rock hard, full cock and balls on display.

You let out a quiet gasp and cover your mouth, trying to remain silent as you stay back in the darkness. Hiram turns around and immediately stares into the darkness where you hide, "Come out," he says firmly, in a dominant tone. You obliged and slowly step out of darkness and into the kitchen, you gently rest you arms against the marble island in the middle of the kitchen while Hiram leans his muscular arms against them on the other side. "You're Archie Andrew's brother, aren't you." He says through gritted teeth and disgust when he mentions your brothers name.

You slowly nod your head, lost for words, and be unable to speak partly because he scares you so much but also because he is butt naked, showing everything and anything to you, his cock is laying down on the counter. He slowly creeps round the counter, his cock swinging back and forth as he walks over to you. Once he finally makes his way over to you, his body completely towering over you, a surge of submission takes over your body. Something about his dark aura made you want to completely submit your life to him.

Then Hiram let's out a command that leaves you stunned and shocked, "get down on your knees and suck my cock like a good faggot, mi amor." He says in a seductive whisper to you, his thumb gently grazing across your lower lip. Without a fight, you slowly get down on your knees, your silk pyjama shorts ride up your ass giving Hiram the perfect over shot of your ass, once you are face to face with his cock you lift up his cock with your tongue while looking up at him, you take his cock immediately to the back of your throat. Gripping against his cheeks to hold yourself steady.

You slowly take your time, tasting every inch of his cock coating it all in your saliva. Your gags and moans just from cock sucking drives Hiram crazy, "If I'd known your were such a faggot for cock I would've done this ages ago!" He says while gripping your hair. Your eyes roll back as you allow him to take control and let his cock absolutely destroy your mouth. He grips either side of your head using your mouth as his personally cum dump, his cock twitches in your throat as he spurts out his cum filling up your mouth with his creamy cum.

A fulfilled smirk crosses your face as his cock flops out of your mouth, a mouth full of cum and it's the happiest you've ever felt. "Now swallow like a good boy!" He says while gently slapping your cheeks, you swallow his sweet cum making sure every last drop is traveling down your throat. He leans down to pick you up, laying you down on the marble island, grabbing your legs to keep them open and wide, revealing your tight pink pucker to him.

He spits down at your hole, using the tip of his cock rubbing it all over before pushing his cock past the tight ring of your hole your eyes widen feeling his cock open up your walls in a way like never before. He leans closer to you, hovering above you so you can stare up at him as he milks your sweet spot, "d-daddy!" You blurt out feeling his cock fuck you and destroy your hole. Hiram grips your throat choking you as he fucks you back and forth, he removes one hand from your throat and moving it down to your nipple tweaking it causing pleasure to run up and down your body.

With one thrust into your g-spot, you become a moaning mess to the point Hiram has to silence you by covering your mouth, "mhm!" You whimper out as he covers you mouth as continue to thrust up into you, fucking your hole to the point it's borderline abuse on your hole but you don't want him to stop ever but you can tell that it's coming to an end. "Faster!" You whimper out against his hand as he thrusts a couple more times before shooting his load deep inside you hole, letting out a loud groan "..fuck!" He lets out.

He continues to fuck his cum up into your hole with a few more thrusts, breeding your faggy boy-pussy before pulling out, he scoops you up and carries you to his bedroom and laying you down on the bed "round two in the morning" he whispers into your ear, kissing your cheek as he lays next to you.

taglist - @starboye @mailmango @ghostking4m @kingchaospostsstuff @crispysoup318

[starboye]

Kinktober Day 25

starring: hiram lodge x male reader

request: Hiram Lodge and stepson femboy bottom male reader where Hiram has secretly been having sex with his stepson and turning him into his slutty bottom boy today alone for the whole month of October and reader's dressing up in the slutty little school girl outfit with the mini skirt and thong and heels and Hiram and him want to try bondage so he gets all the equipment and Hiram ties the Reader's hands behind his back as Reader licks hiram's muscles and I'm face fucking male reader till he fills his mouth full of c** and then just starts fucking him while he's tied up pulling his hair and putting a ball gag in the Reader's mouth with bondage kink come eating muscle worship daddy kink and Hiram talking about getting reader pregnant if that's okay

warnings: smut, stepcest, cursing, rough sex, face fucking, ball gag, bondage, femenization, ass slapping, muscle worship, cum swallowing, deepthroating, hair pulling, daddy kink, breeding kink, alluding to male pregnancy, pervert hiram, oral sex, jerking off, slight musk kink

after your dad died your mom remarried to hiram quickly to the dismay of you, you hated him and his little entitled daughter always thinking she was better than everyone and could rule the world, but you had to live with them because your mother decided this is the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with.

that all changed when he started showing a little more interest in you, or shall we say interest in your body, every time he walked past you he would graze your ass with his hand and sometime his cock or slap your ass and call it just a friendly smack between to friends.

one time you walked past his room when it was just you and him in the house and he was jerking off, noticing you in crack of the door watching him he invited you in and invited you to jerk him off, which you did and soon turned into you sucking him off which according to him was some of the best head he had in years.

"your mothers' mouth cant even compare to this" he groaned cumming in your mouth, and after that you became his live in slut, anytime your mom and veronica were out of the house he would fuck you whenever and however he wanted and today was no different.

you mom was out at work and veronica was out with her friends so like every other time hiram told you to get ready for him, which consisted of you going to his room and getting naked on his bed but today you wanted to try something new, you went to your room and pulled a school girl outfit from your closet before putting it on.

sitting on hirams bed with a short skirt on, a crop top, a thong, and some heels, completing the look with some of your moms lipstick, hiram walking in with some things in hand before noticing your look "i guess someone's really looking forward to getting fucked today hm" he smirks pulling you into a kiss and slapping a firm hand on your ass.

"yes sir" you smile groping at his thick bulge in his pants "i wanna try something new with you today" he smirks pulling the rope out and showing it to you "bondage" he adds and with no second thought you agree and he ties your hands behind your back before taking off his clothes, you immediately get to work on licking his heavy muscles all the way down to his abs and then his meaty cock.

"you want it" he asks slapping the tip on your lips leaving a hint of red behind on it "mhmmm" you moan at the nice taste "good thing it's all yours" he says slowly moving into your warm mouth and fucking it roughly, his tip constantly slamming into the back of your throat and you had no choice but to take it all as your couldn't pull of, hirams hands wrapped in your hair to keep you on him.

your nose engulfed in the older mans pubes, the slightly sweaty scent floating around in your nose making you a little loopy but felt good "your mom never wants to do stuff like this, she says it's to rough but your slutty ass does whatever daddy tells you right" hiram says throwing his head back before cumming in your mouth, his salty load filling your mouth to the brim, when he pulls out he instantly puts his hand over your mouth.

"swallow boy" he sternly orders with a deep voice forcing you to down it all "good boy" he kisses the top of your head before spinning you around and putting you face up ass down, him getting a lovely view of your hole behind the thong, he doesn't bother to take of the heels and clothes, wanting to think of you as a prostitute who he just paid to take his cock.

he fingers you for a little but not before putting a ball gag on your mouth to silence your loud moans, after opening you up with his thick fingers he pushes his now hard cock into you, feeling those gummy walls he loves so much tighten around him as he begins fucking you, he doesn't take into consideration how hard his hips are moving he just knows your ass feels to good to stop.

"you like your stepdad's big cock ruining you" he asks pulling you up to him by the hair, his arms wrapping around you to keep you right on him as he continued plowing your hole, all you could do was moan some yes's as the ball gag stopped you from talking and your mind was being fucked numb right now.

"fuck i wanna make you my new wife, keep your tummy filled with my cummy kids all the time and hope you get pregnant" he begins kissing down your neck and feeling all over your body, specifically your stomach, rubbing all over it as he felt his climax coming closer and wanted to fill that belly to the brim with every single drop of his potent cum.

"you wanna be daddy's new wife" he asks one more time to which you eagerly nod giving him the go to cum in you, his cum pushing out your belly enough to make you look pregnant, his hips fucking into you for a little longer to ride out his high before pulling out and plugging you up, he leans down beside you and whispers "you're gonna make a great mom in 9 months" before kissing your cheek.

taglist:@mailmango @spermeboy @ghostking4m @gayaristocrat @addictedtomalepits @staarb0y @crispysoup318 @its-ares @gargoylesworld09 @kadenvatsune @fuckshft @wompwomp-1mh3re

[veronicalodgefaghag]

"THOUGHT EXERCISE TIME you have to script one (1) hiram/archie kiss into the existing show somewhere. no plot impact at all, it's never going to be brought up again onscreen it just becomes part of the overall texture of everything that's already going on in canon between them. where does it go, for maximum high camp and/or dramatic impact (double spaced on lined paper by whenever)"

Well?

Didn’t answer this ask back when it was going around cause I wasn’t into Riverdale enough at the time to feel prepared to answer it. I’m on a riverblogging kick tonight and it’s been weighing on me so here goes:

My personal favorite answer is @normiewizard ’s post about Archie going for it earlyish in the grand scheme of things and Hiram just Knowing That about him and Having That Over him for the rest of the show, that was a stroke of genius on their part that makes me fucking insane.

As to answering the question for myself, so much has already been covered by more adept hirarchie scholars than I, so I’m gonna go with my gut feeling from the very beginning and say my answer from the very beginning of this question going around has been the possibly very basic scenario of “Archie kisses Hiram during the stabbing dream in No Exit.” As a first half of season 3 scholar before any other area with this show, and an Archie scholar this is just the obvious answer to me. I love Hiram as much as the next guy and am very interested in him because I’m obsessed with Archie and Veronica, but I don’t feel I know him quite well enough as a character. Whereas, I know Archie very well. Hirarchie is most interesting to me as the result of Archie’s relationship with Grundy and its/her shaping of him, so Archie’s desire for him which Hiram is quite aware of, finds amusing, plays into (and don’t get me wrong, Hiram is attracted to Archie of course, and as many have said, there was a sexual relationship there in the show on our screens if you’re watching one way. To think there are some people to whom Archie being forced to fight in a secret underground prison fight club is not forced sexual violence… we live in different worlds.) is most interestingly explored from the Archie’s character side of things in a situation like this where we are not seeing Hiram’s true reaction to anything, but Archie’s mind’s Hiram. To actually answer the question, I think that Archie comes into the room, picks up the knife and kisses Hiram as he holds it between them. Hiram’s sly smile in this scene is then a reflection of the knowing way he plays Archie wrt his desire for him and his vulnerability resulting from the Grundy relationship. We go to the shot of their shadows on the wall now, and shots of their faces and the knife stabbing in. Yes, Joaquin parallels but also season 6 Archiereggie stabbing to death/gay sex parallels. I also think that Hiram should be awful about it (Archie’s desire for him) in some way in Archie’s imagination, because Archie’s dreams in that episode are all cruel to him because he is cruel to himself, but specifically because the kiss alone (despite the stabbing) could convey the wrong idea about what Archie thinks of Hiram kind of? If that makes sense?

I think No Exit is perfect if we’re talking about it never being mentioned in the show like you’ve prompted because so much of that episode is never mentioned again. Archie’s dream sequences in No Exit lay bare so much of his subtextual conflict that is never brought up again and doesn’t really add to anything because it all already underlies his whole story—his having to kill his “soft” self most importantly, but also, like the other core three showing up in their first episode outfits, “are you working on any new music, Arch?” pushing the show to finally acknowledge that he does. not. do that anymore after so much of his story revolves around music for the first season. This is of course another thing Hiram is responsible for in large part. So then this sojourn of his from Riverdale, spurred by an event which involved his being kissed by Joaquin, during which he runs away with Jughead (acknowledged by the show as making then look queer), ending with his subconscious instigating a Hiram/Archie kiss that never gets mentioned again but sets the final tone for his return to Riverdale as a man revived from death works so beautifully to me.

I’m really torn on whether I think that, in this hypothetical version of the show, they have kissed outside of that offscreen, or they eventually do or what. Like is this Archie taking his own control of something Hiram already physically uses against him as he kills him? Is this him acknowledging not only his homosexual desire but the homoerotic capacity/side of the relationship with Hiram only in his near-death subconscious? Tangentially relatedly, what if Grundy is the game master who hands him the “kill the Man in Black” card instead of the warden who’s another of his dead sexual abusers anyway?

[jhsharman]

'surprise!'

The word "gay" remains in 1990. It appears, by coincidence and unrelated, this change is made at the same time as the story drops from 6 to 5 pages -- I would be curious if kept if the fifth page would have changed Josie's anachronistic gift.

[arewordsenough]

Rated Explicit - 3 Chapters (4.3k) - M/M - Explicit Sexual Content

Summary: A conflict with Julian turns into a lot more over the course of a couple days. By the end of it all Archie is definitely left with some new needs.

Based on a collection of prompts from my readers.

Featured groups & pairings: Archie Andrews/Reggie Mantle/Julian Blossom, Archie Andrews/Julian Blossom, Archie Andres/Kevin Keller/Hiram Lodge

Key Tags: Locker Room, Dubious Consent

Another SMUTober fic is here! The poll kind of went both ways, so I'll release this one all at once, and I'll post the Eli (Teen Wolf) fic as the chapters are finished.

[wallbeatjournal]

Pour one out for Reggie, always second choice for the Lodges after Archie

SECOND CHOICE FOR EVERYONE. like literally it is so hard to evaluate reggie (especially w/r/t the lodges) without bringing in The Tragedy Of The Side Character Rival-Foil who exists in the narrative to experience B-plot versions of the A-plot in miniature

riverdale-the-metanarrative is so blatantly full of guys who are different versions of archie and where his character could go in the story if he didn't have to be the protagonist-hero - munroe as the jaded star fighter with the same nickname hiram originally used on archie as an endearment, who could get out of this damn town if he commits to sports. eric jackson as the disabled vet with unmanaged ptsd who betrayed his unit for a manipulative man in authority who just gets to be a respectable figure in society while his groomed victims suffer (and he could speak up and get justice if he's willing to handle the social impacts of being labeled a survivor). kevin as the openly-gay damagingly-impulsive, validation-seeking, people-pleasing, insecure joiner with a nice-but-emotionally-distant dad who keeps trying to find happiness through in-group conformism. julian s7 as literal understudy, and the guy who died in war (also got targeted and negged by s7 reboot hiram lodge in the s7 reboot version of wrestling. dramatic monologues).

reggie is like. the most powerful and tragic of all of these archie analogs bc he's sometimes a rival, too. so his jealousy and inferiority complex towards archie exists both inside and outside of the narrative! all of those other archie reflections aren't also competing with him and comparing themselves to him and constantly getting handed his leftovers and cast-offs and feeling that that is what's happening. but reggie is :\

anyway. so tragic. love u reggie

[uglygirlstatus]

Curious to see how you’d rank every Riverdale musical episode

this ask has been in my inbox for months because I could not make up my mind whatsoever and had to rewatch all musical eps 2x each to decide.

Splitting rankings into categories for my own sake: Songs (ranked on both quality and integration), Plot (entertainment value of the storyline points featured), and Iconry (ratio of special/memorable/iconic lines and scenes)

#6. American Psycho

Songs ⭐️⭐️

Plot ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Iconry ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I remember somehow being underwhelmed when I first watched this because I had really hyped myself up after reading the episode description. But now in a post-50sdale world, I realize how lucky we were with this one. We got SlaughterCon, Cheryl and Kevin hexing Toni and Fangs, Betty being gay, Kevin not warning Betty in advance that he added a bit to his musical number where Doctor Curdle Jr dresses as TBK and then getting visibly annoyed with her when she interrupts it fearing for his life, Betty finally killing TBK and he’s literally just wrapped in duct tape and garbage bags, AS WELL AS Archie’s Labour Union all in one episode. However, since this IS a ranking of musical episodes, I’m afraid I can’t let the incredible plot compensate too much for the lack of strong musical bangers.

Stand out lines:

“It’s your dad’s knife. I bought it on eSlay.”

“Betty Cooper, are you hot for agent Drake?”

“You’re one of us. An American Psycho.”

Not a line but shoutout to Lili Reinhart’s boobs in You Are What You Wear.

#5. Carrie

Songs ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Plot ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Iconry ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Cheryls heavily autotuned explosion into “THATS NOT MY NAAAAAAAME” will forever tickle me. And her finale drenching herself in blood and coming to her mother with the candelabra to threaten burning down their mansion for a second time is one of the top ten Cheryl Blossom moments for all time. Everything about the presence of Alice Cooper also kills me like she is IN this high school musical. Madchen I could listen to pitch correction software fighting for its life against your dulcet tones forever. I read in a Twitter thread by the duo who produces all the Riverdale music that Madchen had literally never sung in her entire life prior to this episode. And they still gave her a solo. Amazing. The plot doesn’t carry as much weight for me in this one but the I love the integration of the music, and it also gave us the first ever Beronica duet and Fifi appearance. Oh and rip Midge!

Stand Out Lines:

“I will not succumb to thespian terrorism!”

“I’m not the same girl who burned down Thornhill.” “Sure you are!”

“Nightmare child, what do you want from me?!”

#4. Next to Normal

Songs ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Plot ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Iconry ⭐️⭐️

This one has real emotional impact okay. It was genuinely moving. I love when the musical episodes tackle a huge range of plot lines and still try to apply the niche musical choice of the season to each of them. We have Cooper grieving & family choreography and spite-Jabitha and Cheryl attacking her mother with song & holy water and Varchie being useless and Britta becoming Cheryl’s little child servant/protege. Reggie is there too. Also all of the music hits for real. It’s a shame that “I Am The One” and “I’m Alive” had so much cut in the ep because the spectres of Polly and Charles are killing it on the harmonies in the full versions. I could listen to Lili Reinhart sing all day long. Above all though I think my favourite part is the uncanny photoshop of Alice and Betty and Polly in front of the Next to Normal Broadway poster.

Stand Out Lines:

“YOU’VE GOT SOME NERVE JUGHEAD, AND I’M JUST ALL NERVES!”

“I’m gonna eat in the garage.”

“You remind me of Hiram Lodge.” “I don’t know who that is. But please, have a Swelligrino for the road.”

#3. Heathers

Songs ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Plot ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Iconry ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Guys It’s so crazy that Midge literally died in the middle of our musical last year. Anyway time for Heathers! Something fun about this episode is that I first watched it before I was fully Riverdalepilled and was still foolishly rolling my eyes at the show while I watched with my mom and sister. I was like “guys Heathers is actually a great musical, it’s going to be hard for me to see what Riverdale does to it”. We began watching and very soon my mom and sister were commenting on the music. It quickly dawned on me that they were complaining about the aspects of the show that were more or less unchanged from the original musical. And I had a great epiphany moment where I realized 1) Heathers is sort of bad 2) if I loved Heathers the musical in earnest then why should I not love Riverdale? Heathers was actually PERFECTLY CRAFTED to be performed by the Riverdale cast. Anyway. This episode had a lot going for it. Lodge divorce arc straight into Veronica partying. Kevin’s sudden perm. Toni’s threesome fake out. Our favourite Chad Michael Murray Rhythmic cult clapping. And of course KJ Apa doing this

Stand Out Lines

“Did you have a lobotomy for breakfast?”

“Here I invented red. I AM red. *snaps*”

“Evelyn called a closed rehearsal for select members in the Gargoyle Chamber.”

#2. Archie the Musical

Songs ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Plot ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Iconry ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

This one had EVERYTHINGGGGGGGG. Fun with the meta narrative and original songs mixed with covers taken from various obscure and specific sources and by far some of the most fun choreography and sets of all musical episodes since they were able to be so free with it. Seeing Gay Kevin back in his natural habitat of directing the school musical was so heartwarming. Jughead and Reggie quitting immediately. Archie going left. And Archie going right. Bisexually. Julian demolishing Archie vocally every chance he gets. And knowing it. Also every single facial expression and mannerism that Julian has in this episode is god tier. Actually kj apa too. Actually also Lili and Camilla. SANDWICH? The loudest in-song sound effects we’ve ever experienced. Archie the happiest he’s ever been in his life on the back of Toni’s bike. BERONICA - PRIMAL AND INTENSE! My review is barely coherent because this one does fill me with silly giddy joy. Plot loses a star because how the hell are we expected to care about Gay Kevin’s divorcing parents. I know “ohh suffering isn’t a competition ohhh” Ethel just watched her parents get murdered by a milkman and no one sang for her.

Stand Out Lines:

“I don’t wanna be a drip, but it’s super distracting when my understudy is singing literally at the same time as me!”

“You completely captured the longing of being in a queer, interracial relationship in the 1950s.”

“Maybe there are other more emotionally complex mountains to climb.”

“The new Archie, Julian, he’s even better than the real Archie!”

#1. Hedwig and the Angry Inch

Songs ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Plot ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Iconry ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

On a 9 hour flight to Europe in the Summer I had all the Riverdale musical eps downloaded to rewatch and then noticed that among the plane’s complimentary movie selections was the original movie of Hedwig and the Angry Inch, which was pure kismet. I decided to watch the movie for the first time prior to rewatching the Riverdale ep and I was blown away. Knowing the context of all the songs and musical they chose to include in the episode made everything so much more insane. The song about feeling like a stranger in your body after surgical malpractice being used for the Bughead conflict over Juggie prioritizing mysteries over finishing high school and Varchie conflict over Archie not telling Veronica about her dad’s epic fail at the gym. 20? something year old gay Kevin proclaiming WE ARE GENERATION Z before jumping into Random Number Generation. The BIZARRELY spliced version of the best ever rendition of Origin of Love all for BARCHIE FODDER?!? Actually all the rest of the songs were perfectly fitting no notes. Anyway hallway full of students in Hedwig drag one of the top Riverdale shots ever though I forever mourn KJ Apa’s absence. At least he got to kiss a man in this one. The plane hit turbulence while I watching the Midnight Radio scene but I was so happy witnessing it in that moment that I thought to myself “it would be ok if I died right now”.

Stand Out Lines:

“Writing a book report? Now I know how Sisyphus must have felt.”

“It celebrates identities, genders, expressions of all kinds.”

“[scoffs] How queer-phobic of you.”

“There’s a problem that comes once you get caught up on your homework. Your mind wanders and evil creeps back in.”

I was convinced Archie the Musical would come out on top for me due to the obscene level of euphoria I felt upon first experiencing it but after intensive review I do have to say Hedwig wins. Ultimately I miss the original timeline that much and I am all for the events that eventually tear apart everyone’s relationships and most of all it gave us Origin of Love full version Riverdale cast edition. But know that it is so so so so so close between the two. And honestly really all 6 are close in my heart as this exercise reminded me just how much the musical episodes are to watch and rewatch.

[doctorcurdlejr]

go on your ten most recently listened to songs that have lyrics, then assign portions of their lyrics to different riverdale characters.

Well okay this is mostly Charli XCX with a few riot grrrl songs thrown in yay okay let's go

I never thought for a second / my voice was in your head / "Girl, you walk like a bitch" / when I was ten, someone said that - Charli XCX, The girl, so confusing version with lorde

Veronica Lodge!!! This entire song speaks really well to her dynamic with Betty

It's okay to just admit that you're jealous of me / yeah, I heard you talk about me, that's the word on the street - Charli XCX, Von Dutch

Cheryl Blossom, veritable queen bee and well known for showing up places unprompted with Hello street urchin I've heard tale that my gorgeous moniker has taken to falling off your ill-begotten lips as of late, understandable as that may be, I suggest you pick up a new vice before your little obsession stops being cute. Tick tock!

In Christian Dior, I'm a blessin' (it's lit) / too busy livin my life / I ain't even see your message (still) - Normani, Still

Hermione Lodge, specifically once she became a Real Housewife and Hiram would pathetically watch her on TV

Cute, sexy and my ride's sporty / those slugs know they can't catch me - Charli XCX, Vroom Vroom

Reggie managing the car dealership after his father sold him off to pay for gambling debts

Sending me flowers, I'm just tryna get lucky / yuck, lookin' at me all sucky / yuck, quit acting like a puppy - Charli XCX, Yuck

This is SO Betty turning down Archie's marriage proposal

I swear that I love nothing more than broke / I always let the good ones go - Charli XCX, Good Ones

Gay Kevin loves, I mean just ADORES, picking awful guys as a form of self destruction

Can I take you to the airport? Make out under the bathroom lights / Put your lips on my lips, I'll remember your kiss - Charli XCX, Beg for You ft. Rina Sawayama

Jughead Jones, well known for walking his lovers straight to the exit! There's the ever iconic running away with Archie, as well as his last kiss with Tabitha before she wipes his mind. He's constantly begging people not to leave him ❤️ yay

I don't mind sitting in the way, way back / I don't mind lying to my friends / one thing about Forsythia / she comes around and I get lost / against her yellow, I'm no longer me - Veruca Salt, Forsythia

Archie Andrews ☹️ his relationships with Grundy and Hiram especially, but he has a general propensity for losing himself in relationships

When that crown falls of your head / will you still feel better of dead? / I wanna see something else / why won't you show me something else? - Lunachicks, Less Teeth More Tits

Toni for sure. In general she's an activist, but I think this also applies to her relationship with Cheryl.

Way to go, way to flip off everyone / I steal your thunder then I try to bolt / but I could stand a little pity now and then - Veruca Salt, Volcano Girls

This is a very Veronica thing to me. She was constantly apologizing for her meaner impulses when it came to her conflicts with Betty

Making every motherfucker turn / fell from Heaven, no, it didn't hurt - Kesha, JOYRIDE

THIS IS LITERALLY TABITHA MY FAVORITE ANGEL TABITHA 🙀

[serialkillerbettycooper]

the consensus seems to be that gay sex would not fix either of them (hiram or archie). would anything?

I think gay sex could fix Archie! Just not gay sex with Hiram. Gay sex with Kevin or Reggie would be very good for him, I think, and gay sex with Jughead could be great or it could be a disaster depending on where they were at with their whole thing at the moment. But that's beside the point. Archie's not actually very hard to fix, in a situation removed from abusive authority figures like Hiram Lodge.

Hiram on the other hand? I really, really don't know. Gay sex definitely isn't gonna do it. Someone who is a better Hiram scholar than me might be able to figure out an angle to write a convincing Hiram redemption arc, but I can't see it. Hiram isn't a person particularly interested in personal growth. He's a cartoon villain and he knows it. No amount of conflict or turmoil in his family ever leads him to make serious changes. Hell, how does he recover from the mystery illness? By doubling down and reaffirming his identity through anonymous violence. That's not a guy you can fix. Hiram is Hiram forever.

[gayjaytodd]

which riverdale character does each batfam member relate to the most? glad you asked!

Dick: he's an archie guy, head-empty-sexy-caring-kind-everyone wants to fuck him? yeah, dick can relate

Jason: obviously he's a cheryl-stan through and through, Lazarus Pit Madness is basically the same as 19th century Lesbianism Hysteria right?

Tim: in case you haven't noticed, he's weird. he's a weirdo. he doesn't fit in and he doesn't want to fit in. have you ever seen him without a stupid bat-accessory? that's weird.

Steph: she is soooo betty cooper it hurts

Damian: veronica. damian's evil-sexy parent is talia obvi

Cass: jellybean jones. weird kid with daddy/mommy issues who commits vandalism for fun and wears a leather jacket? yeah.

Duke: gay kevin.

Bruce: sexy brooding bad-father-who-loves-his-kids-but-is-too-emotionally-fucked-up-to-show-it? complete with several batshit insane exes? yeah, it's FP

Bonus:

Selina: alice cooper

Clark: fred andrews obviously

Talia: toss-up between hiram lodge and jughead's mum (I do Not remember that woman's name, just that she's a milf with dubious morals)

[sumeria]

Rvd characters as Brat songs?

360: veronica! shes everywhere shes so julia!

club classics: gay kevin

sympathy is a knife: archiekins!!!!!!!!

i might say something stupid: oh very s5 betty

talk talk: this is a jughead/tabitha song. to me.

von dutch: hiram lodge.

everything is romantic: archie andrews! eternal romantic trying to find beauty in everything!

rewind: BETTY COOPER.

so i: very much polly cooper coded very that

girl, so confusing: toni topaz tbqh let her have normal female friendships

apple: cheryl, veronica, and betty

b2b: heather :(

mean girls: literally cheryl and veronica both sorry.

i think about it all the time: CHERYL BLOSSOM.

365: hermione 👍🏻

hello goodbye: jughead

guess: reggie mantle.

spring breakers: bret & donnaaaaaaa

[jugheadjones]

People still talking about endgames is so funny. chonis are still out here like like "isn't it funny that we got what we wanted and bh/va/ba got nothing" happy that you're content with getting what you wanted from this show, and happy that they let the gays have their official happy ending for once. but the resolution of this show went over your heads entirely if you're still hung up on what was "endgame" and what wasn't, your minds exist inside this tiny ship-condensed bubble so much so that you failed to see the entire concept of the show as a whole.

I think it ended exactly how it needed to and many of us understood that the true endgame of riverdale was none of that mattering because riverdale is alive and well, right now in many timelines, lives on, on many planes of existence. nothing can ever truly be "endgame" in riverdale, and simultaneously, everything is endgame because riverdale is eternal. riverVale is eternal. hiram lodge is still alive somewhere and wreaking havoc on teen archie. kevin and fangs eloped and have 2 kids in another timeline. veronica and archie got married in the 1980s. dilton doiley is playing G&G in the bunker with a ghoulie in 2023. FP stayed with alice and they grew old together in the Cooper house. jughead's mom came out as a lesbian. polly is an alive girl who became a star named poly amory (wait we saw that one) betty went to jughead's book launch and they rekindled their flame, she moved to new york and they saw kevin perform on broadway. jellybean is letting hot dog lick her plate under the table in toledo. jughead works as a television script writer for the CW. see the way I can say anything and it's true. source that it's not? do you get it now?

[typewriter clacking...]

[veronicalodgefaghag]

i love the milkman as a parody of every mystery throughout the show just like the black hood/jason blossom/clifford blossom stuff in the jughead paradox; it’s stayed nowhere near being solved all season but it just does not matter, there’s no tension there; he didn’t kill anybody who matters, he didn’t shoot archie’s dad or kill his own child, of course he’s clifford blossom, it was him or hal, but this changes nothing, not really. also nobody but jughead cares AT ALL, not even ethel. it’s just so good.

[peacerisendove]

Big Ethel Energy Season 2 Episode 29

I'm reacting strongly to what feels like literal ace/aro erasure and honestly aphobia the more I think about it. Aromantic, asexual, and or aroace people are really just getting their shit kicked in the narrative of this comic and it's upsetting.

They made the antagonist/source of conflict in Ethel's Season 1 narrative Jughead, who in Season 1 was very strongly implied to be aroace, but now they're just backtracking on both him being ace and aro.

It's so sad and frustrating to see.

Look Mr. Lodge isn't generally viewed in positive terms. He's associated with and concerned with money, self-interest, and his businesses, but the fact we're just getting judgement calls without even seeing evidence of Hiram character or what even his goal is with running for city council once again forces the reader to side with Ethel and her friends.

I love Nancy and her character, and of course when it comes to these situations you want the underdog who works hard and clearly cares about the city to win an election, but I don't think the comic takes into account that to be a contender in a political elections you need experience and resources to win. This panel might portray that it's Nancy's actions or resolve that is what might lead to her potentially losing this election, but honestly I think that it's a lack of experience and resources in which to convince people to vote for her for Mayor.

Now this? After a whole fucking season of alluding and pretty much confirming in all ways except explicitly through the words that that Jughead is asexual and/or aromantic.

It feels like a retcon or wishy-washy writing in which the author purposefully kept Jughead's sexuality and romantic identity vague (aka did not explicitly state he was asexual and/or aromantic) in order to keep him open to potential future love interests. It feels like an insult because the way Jughead is written in the first season and in particular his explanation to Ethel that he has never wanted sex and never wanted anyone romantically (the only exception to that is Trula):

(S1, Episode 58)

Yes, sexuality is fluid, but that is not what is going on in this case.

His sexuality in Season 1, which very clearly reads as Ace and/or Aro is just swept aside. The author is back tracking on their own writing and it's so frustrating and insulting to see because the Ace and Aro representation that we got with Jughead in Season 1 wasn't even remotely good or positive because he is put as Ethel's central antagonist in her personal story and narrative because he was an eighteen year old boy who has sex with Ethel in order to fully understand that he did not have any interest in sex or romantically attracted to her.

The whole first season, if you look at Ethel and Jughead's conflict, is simply the vilifying of asexuality and those who are aromantic. That's it. That is the crux of Ethel's entire conflict.

She blames all of her romance-based troubles on this one moment and one person without once looking inward. Jughead should not be held accountable or vilified because he had sex.

-SIGH- It is just so goddamn upsetting that this is the narrative that was portrayed and one along the way said or thought that anything was wrong.

And you know what? This perspective is even more upsetting and disappointing because the comic appears or tries to be inclusive as we explicitly have gay characters, trans characters, lesbian characters, disabled characters, and more who are open in their identities, but asexuality and aromanticism don't even get an explicit mention. The words "asexuality," "aromantic," or "aroace" are not once mentioned in the comic. Jughead isn't even the only character who qualifies as aromantic. Trula is written in a way that suggests she's aromantic (Season 1, Episode 48; Trula after being described to pick up guys one after the other states that relationships don't interest her), and yet asexuality and aromanticism are utilized as a source of conflict, are treated as erasable, and simply not treated with the same respect or standard as other identities are mentioned in this comic.

As I have stated it's frustrating and infuriating as a reader and especially as a reader who cares about asexuality and aromantic identities and its representation.

There was more I had to say about this episode but honestly Ethel's elitism can take a back seat as I find the topic of how BEE represents, treats, and writes about asexuality and aromanticism insulting.

[arewordsenough]

Rated Explicit - 1.9k One Shot - M/M - Explicit Sexual Content

Summary: Archie is spending the night at Veronica's and wakes up thirsty in the middle of the night. Hiram's thirsty too, but not for some water.

Based on a prompt from one of my readers.

Featured pairing: Archie Andrews/Hiram Lodge

Key tags: Slave/Master

[sumquiasum]

Which Riverdale guys have earned their red wings?

Riverdale Guys: Have they had period sex?

Hal Cooper: Definitely not.

Kevin: No, he's gay and would be weird about trans guys who get periods

Fred Andrews: No, to him it's not the gross-out factor, it's more an underlying semi-conservative mind set of "this is just not something you do"

Jughead: Teen Jughead no, he'd be too grossed out by the whole thing and it's a great excuse not to have sex, adult Jughead probably

Tom Keller: At least one cause Sierra McCoy sees period sex as a feminist act

Hiram Lodge: Probably

Reggie: Yes, specifically to earn his red wings because he cares about that kind of stuff. Would say that weird "a true pirate" thing. Not super enthusiastic about it though

Archie: 100% definitely yes he's a conduit for other ppl's desires so if his partner wants period sex he's gonna have period sex with them

FP Jones: Yes, he's a slut