#him reflecting on everything..
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
mobius-m-mobius · 7 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
#there are two types of actors 😂💖
5K notes · View notes
rika-mortis · 4 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
Headcanon: Deep down they both want to be their fairy godparent/godkid again after losing them, but don't believe they deserve each other and feel like they aren't worthy to be their companion anymore
They both need counseling and therapy as a whole package
2K notes · View notes
lovetique · 11 months ago
Text
"no, no," dismissive hand waved him off, "albert einstein is your signature look. i wouldn't even know who you are if you weren't giving albert." hard getting the joking words out from the giggles choking her up, gasping for air at this point and small hand clutching her stomach like it might help.
"besides my mom, you're my favorite person. that's gonna never change. no one else is funny and smart at the same time like you." finger gently pressed into his cheek, next to the corner of his mouth. voice sweet and kind, mirroring in her gaze as well as their eyes locked. and elena could see how he was searching for something in hers... probably any clue of her lying when there was zero. it only made sense to dish her honest compliments, things she admires a lot about him after poking fun at him. even if she never got to see him again, he'd always be her favorite human. "only one? well, i wonder how i got so lucky to feel so special." it automatically made her smaller frame cling to his bigger one, arms squeezing him as cheek nuzzled into his cheek like an affectionate cat despite the stubble on his face scratching her skin.
she jumped in an amusing way when marcus responded right away to her fingers dancing aimlessly against his sides and stomach, causing her warm eyes to brighten in wild excitement at his laughs, even content at the answer... he's in fact ticklish. then it causes her to laugh along with him asking if she tickled him. "it was about time you had an updated tickle visit. i got curious." elena admits, puppy dog brown eyes blinking innocently despite the grin curving her lips saying otherwise.
Tumblr media
"and it was s–" words getting cut off, her body immediately responding, causing her to squirm and kick at the sheets. head immediately thrown back in the pillow behind her, she squeaked with laughter, eyes squeezing shut at how easily painfully ticklish she most certainly is. "noo! NOT tickle revenge!" she grabbed his hands as she writhed, squirming around like a squiggly snake, attempting to peel them off her sides.
"but it sucks dealing with the day with little sleep, feeling grumpy like oscar the grouch." she breathed, feeling like she'd ran a marathon from his tickle revenge, "you know, from sesame street. the one who likes living in a trash can." she rambled on, amuse smile temporarily lacing her voice. "and i worry about you." the biggest factor. brunette frowns, despite the smile that fluctuates in between at how thinking about her is informed. sweetness to her heart that painfully makes it swell into a pang of huge guilt. starting to feel like she doesn't deserve someone like him. "we'll go to sleep now, even if we don't want to. and you'll see me again quicker than you think." it was excruciating to say that, when she was contemplating on distancing. she pecked his cheek while cupping the other with her hand, then moved to hug his torso, treating him as her human teddy bear –– and settle her head back on his chest as a pillow. calming down after a chaotic night, that turned into safety, comfort and the feeling of home. .. if this is home, why would she run away from it? the question that'll keep her up all night.
Tumblr media
the silence he used to be comfortable with now eats him alive because this is the only sound he wants to hear — elena’s laughter. the sound bouncing off of his blank walls and empty decor, save for a photo of his mother and little sister on his dresser, forced marcus to realize how vacant this place felt. nothing else in his apartment felt distinctly personal, as if he could be plucked out of it without a thought. but her laugh is a living thing all on its own, and it feels like the sun on his face, so it predictably warms the frigid bones of his home. “alright, alright, i’ll make sure my hair is perfectly coiffed the next time i see you,” laughter leaks through each syllable, but the promise is weak. he would look like a fool anywhere, any time, just to pull this reaction from her. her head is perfectly positioned on his chest, eyes sparkling with confusion and tone bearing the slightest bit of defense. the certainty in her voice displayed a sort of conviction that was rare from her, but marcus couldn’t allow himself to believe it to be true. beyond all of the concrete facts that he couldn’t ignore or displace from his mind long enough to dive into that daydream, it would hurt too much. marcus holds her gaze for a long moment, searching her eyes for the tiniest scrap of dishonesty or placation, but he comes up empty. he can feel his heart quicken in pace. “okay then, i’m your favorite person,” he softly concedes, expression twisted in emotion. “it’s mutual, then. you’re the only person i think about.” words fall from his mouth too quickly, but he’s sure she knows, and there’s no use in futile backtracking. “and there’s the position title for my new business cards - mr. proper,” he grins toward the ceiling, shaking his head. marcus had worked toward that adjective his entire life – proper; put together, disciplined, gentlemanly. he had adult responsibility thrust on his shoulders since his teens, and maintaining a semblance of composure was sometimes the only thing that held him together. but, still, he had his many cracks, and although they were well tended to, elena still took the time to notice them. the unrelenting jabs in his sides and stomach startle him, bringing about an eruption of laughter and wild movement. for once, he’s scrambling out of her grasp. “did you just tickle me?” he asks astonishedly once the attack is over. “i haven’t been tickled in — god, 10 years?” blows a sigh out of his lips, feigning exhaustion, until he’s quickly returning the favor as he’s turned to face her, hands latched to her sides, touch light and incessant. “already am,” he answers quickly and assuredly, fingers still aimlessly threading through her hair. free hand comes to rest underneath his head, eyes feeling heavier and heavier with each passing moment. whatever exhaustion he felt was outweighed by the sound of her voice, pulling him out of sleep’s comfortable embrace. he wished they had more time, that they could take a vacation from their own lives. before he met elena, it had never occurred to marcus how much of a privilege it could be to just sleep next to someone. “i’ll do what i always do – go to work, i’ll drink my coffee, think about you,” the answer is as simple & mundane as the description of the weather, as if it were so glaringly obvious. “it’ll be just like any other day,” he hums.
his mind flickers back through the night; the kiss that still burned his lips (that was so different from all the others), the flinch at his touch, the promise of seeing her outside of this bubble they’ve so carefully cultivated, being deemed her ‘favorite person’. it proved something that he already knew to be true: nothing about this affair was sought out of convenience or insignificance for him. the pull of her was not from this game of cat and mouse; this wasn’t about victory or wanting what he couldn’t have — he was falling in love with her, if he wasn’t head over heels already. his feelings for elena were as real and tangible as anything else in this world. anything that she wanted from him was hers to keep, even if it ruined him.
27 notes · View notes
formulaonedirection · 3 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
and when I hurt / hurtin' runs off my shoulder / how can I hurt when holding you 💕
815 notes · View notes
vaggieslefteye · 5 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ᴍᴇ ᴄʜᴏᴏꜱᴇ ↳ anonymous asked: HUSK and ALASTOR or angel and valentino?
#hazbin hotel#husk#hazbin husk#alastor#hazbin alastor#hazbin hotel edit#hazbin edit#radio demon#requested#make me choose#my gifs#dad beat dad#flashing gif#flickering gif#the full ask said ''in whichever way you define'' at the end so#i chose based off of which dynamic i'm more intrigued by. valentino as a villain and as a challenge to angel is REALLY interesting dont get#me wrong here. it's great. but THESE two have a lot of untapped potential for husk specifically#alastor is just there at the moment but HUSK. husk. it really is a mirror to angel's situation - everything wrong in his afterlife is#because of that gamble. but he WAS an overlord. HE was the one doing that horrible shit before. that's INTERESTING!!#he gathered and gambled away souls like money. it was all just a game to him. now HE'S getting his. a sick poetic justice in a way.#i am SO excited to see if they dive into this more!! will he ever self reflect? if he does will we SEE him doing this reflection? will it#be enough to play a part in him choosing to redeem himself? or even decide if redemption is worth the effort? i feel like there's potential#with his dynamic with alastor to influence that big time + his friendship with angel will also be a major factor#also making this set made me realize the hallway scene is like their one major interaction. jfc and it's fucking HORRIFYING lmao#look i loved their pilot interaction/dynamic as much as the next person but this is just. SO much better. more things to explore.#i'm really glad in the end that they were rewritten in this way. A+
229 notes · View notes
puppyeared · 1 year ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
personal character design headcanons + brainrot
Note: the re-bound!au does NOT belong to me, it belongs to @chipper-smol I’m just not normal about it lol
Tumblr media
#I SAY PERSONAL BC ITS MY OWN SPIN ON IT. NOT CHIPPERS CANON UNLESS THEY DECIDE TO OR NOT YOU HEAR ME /LH#I made a banner and everything this time. PLWEASE send them your questions not me JAJFHDSF#I thought it would be cool if macaque has two separate forms as a shadow and inside a mindscape. like I wanted his shadow form to reflect#him in his prime and then the mindscape form as what he looked like when he died. or a more vulnerable state at least#based on LBD appearing to MK as the ivory lady when she died in the S3 special. I don’t know exactly what it was but my first thought seein#the white void was she was appearing to MK in his mindscape to talk to him. so I built on that#I wanted to give him a more ‘Smokey’ look as a shadow just based on how he manipulates them in the show like in shadow play. I hope this#makes it look cool and immaterial. and then his mindscape form would be more battered up and tangible#the last couple images are chippers ideas though since they said the monkeys are drawn to MK when macaque is possessing him lol#and the fact that macaque doesn’t have any senses unless he’s possessing someone + literally sniffing out wukong in the scroll 🤨📸#I also have a vivid image of macaque moving from the mindscape to physical form like umm. kind of like when he passes the boundary between#physical and spirit/mind(?) it’s like the shadow covers him like ink. or pulling Saran Wrap over your face and it clings to your skin#so it kind of makes the shadow seem like a sort of shell or covering.. and I love the idea of MK meeting macaque in the mindscape for the#first time too. like the moment mac rescues him from LBD and MK sees him all battered and tired looking brooooooo#I’m not even sure if that would count as a mindscape but it rattles around in my brain like loose marbles#god I fucking love this au. gives me imagination fuel swear to god#my art#doodles#lmk#Lego Monkie kid#Monkie kid#lmk au#re-bound!au#rebound au#lmk sun wukong#lmk swk#lmk macaque#lmk six eared macaque#lmk mk#lmk xiaotian
2K notes · View notes
appropriatelystupid · 2 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Dracula + his crows - his reflection
165 notes · View notes
maomango-doodle · 1 year ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
(13 pages) Forlorn
#trigun#trigun stampede#millions knives#on an episode of “how much can i woobify knives :D”#his character is interesting to explore. so much loneliness mixed with strong emotions repressed behind a cold facade#i wondered how he would react to the realization that he misses vash#if he brings his plans to fruition then they'll be reunited -- that's what he tells himself#maybe to keep the loneliness at bay but sometimes it catches up to him#i thought maybe this cold and perfect facade knives parades would shatter and the “ugly” emotions hidden behind would spill out#which would be smth out of his control. and knives hates it. or deep down is terrified of it#smth smth knives seeing vash in his reflection on a stolen red plant#and oh#oh he's PISSED#he let a part of himself break. he showed weakness. and over what? over vash?? but hes doing everything for HIM#he thinks -- so it's vash's fault he's losing his composure right?#it's vash's fault he's distracted from what could reunite them. his fault knives is doing all of this. feeling all of this#using vash as a scape goat for his own emotional turmoil#and that piano be damned. it's a monolith of his loneliness#if only it could all disappear-- the piano-- the cold-- the memories-- the weight on his heart-- the FEAR#there's smth about his rage being rooted in fear that intrigues me#fear of remaining alone-- fear of the hurricane of his own emotions-- fear of time passing and loss of control#then his hood falls off and he's left vulnerable and exposed#also i like the idea of knives looking pretty when he's composed but when he shows strong emotions he turns ugly and wrinkly#comic#i forgot it was in my drafts lol also not kv btw ^^#Thank you for reading! :3#shinxo art#shinxo comic
855 notes · View notes
autisticandroids · 6 months ago
Text
CASTIEL: Stop. What's the point if you don't mean it? You fear me - not love, not respect, just fear.
[youtube with closed captions]
a godstiel pity party. i'd like to thank an anon i got way back in february of 2021.
#spn#vid#spnamvarchive#so fun fact i started making this more than a year ago. got it 90% done. and then was like no this isn't working#i will come back to this later.#it turns out that i needed to make some videos about cas and angels (the love club + help i'm alive amvs)#in order to make this one. anyway this video is about french mistake robert singer voice season six#i really struggled with it because i could NOT find the thread until i realized that it needed to be literally godstiel pov#it's about love and desire and jealousy and hurt and omnidirectional rage <3#it's about the fact that cas is so utterly dependent on dean for his self-image - however dean sees him that's it#it's about having a moment of reflection about lashing out before you do it but doing it anyway#it's about taking cruelty and dishing it out#and crucially. it's about being pregnant#mpregpocalypse#fun fact: i made a post about working on three season six amvs all the way back in nov. 2022#and only now have they come to fruition (this one + love club + metric)#anyway. have you heard that cas is obsessed#the thing is i do kinda want to add some specific director's commentary here. like the first verse is about cas being like.#incredibly deeply emotionally vulnerable to dean. as in: his emotional state and self-image is totally dominated by what dean thinks of him#and if dean is mad at him. and then the second verse is about... dean upsetting him and him responding to that by Killing Everybody lol#like he has a moment of reflection ['certain regrettable things are now required of me' + killing rachel] where he's like i've 1) also done#bad things and 2) i feel bad about it so maybe i will regret Killing Everyone. but then he does it anyway due to everybody keeps turning#on him. i feel like the rest of the amv is self evident. i guess i should note that 'share a paradise' is about how both of them have#a nostalgic view of the early days of their relationship when it wasn't Like This lol. but everything else i think is self evident.#oh and the reason the other angels flash onscreen with their burned wings at the end is i'm EVOKING the image of cas' wings burning. even#though it doesn't happen. i'm evoking it
155 notes · View notes
starry-bi-sky · 2 months ago
Note
Thinking about Rath and how other ghosts react to him. Unlike Dan, who's ruthless and cruel, tormenting the other ghosts for no other reason than he could, Rath just wants his family back; and he HATES that you aren't his family. Do other ghosts realize that Rath is in a Banshee Grief Spiral? Do they care with how powerful he ends up being? How does CFAU!Danny deal with Rath? Because unlike Dan, Rath wouldn't travel back in time to bring about his own future. If anything, he'd go back to PROTECT his loved ones.
Also I loved your tags going into how Danny doesn't blame Bruce for his friends death, and why he's going to kill the Joker personally. It was a great read.
its hard not to tell that Rath is going through a Banshee Grief Spiral asdfjh. Any ghost who sees him can take one look and go: oh yeah, that kid is going THROUGH it. And then they beeline the other way because Banshees can be vicious when they're Going Through The Horrors, because their perception of reality and the world around them gets warped by their grief. And the thing with the CFAU brand of Banshees is that they do eventually learn how to get themselves out of their own Spirals. It's something they learn how to do over time and (somewhat) naturally, as well as make bonds with other ghosts who can also help them get out of those Spirals if the banshee themself cannot for some reason or another.
Basically they build up their own support system and learn how to regulate their grief so it's not consuming them. Rath had that support system... in Sam, Tucker, Jazz, and his parents (albeit they didn't know he was a banshee). And finding Jason again helped soothe some of that grief -- not all of it, mind you, but it made it a little more manageable.
...And then it all got ripped away from him in the span of a week. 😬 yikes. Rath was going through a Spiral while he was with Vlad, and was desperately (and somewhat failing) to manage it all on his own. Vlad could've become a part of his new support system,... but didn't. He wasn't helping Danny with his grief. And the whole "ripping out his ghost half thing" only made it worse, and was a tipping point for poor Rath.
Another thing about CFAU Banshees is that human-born banshees tend to already be pretty... rare all on their own. Most Banshees are formed in the Zone, by the Zone, from the Zone. They're pre-programmed to learn how to handle that all-consuming grief and sorrow because it's something they're born with. Like someone born with chronic pain. Human-born banshees have to adjust, and it can be pretty... maddening all on its own. Which is where the support system can help a lot.
Where was I going with this beyond just info-dumping about CFAU Banshees? Ah, right. Absolutely the other ghosts care about Rath being in a grief spiral considering how powerful he is. But there's very little they can actually do about it, other than be relieved that he's left the Zone (he left when he couldn't find his family), and was out terrorizing the living realm instead. It's difficult to get close to Rath even if you're a ghost, and he's not going to listen to anything they say regardless.
They'd be very terrified of Danny until they realize that he's not Rath -- and they'd be able to tell pretty quickly after the initial terror passes. Phantom looks like,,, well; Phantom. Rath looks like a cross from Danny's childhood in Gotham (oversized, ragged clothes hanging off a small, malnourished child) and Sadako Yamamura from The Ring (uneasy, shambling presence, face mostly covered by his hair.) Rath's Future is an Apocalypse much like how The Quiet Place is an Apocalypse. Very quiet.
And I haven't quite figured out how CFAU!Danny deals with Rath, although you are right in that Rath would try and prevent his future and protect his loved ones. ...If he was lucid.
The version of Rath that Danny meets has very little grasp on reality due to years of unchecked grief. I'm not even sure myself if Rath would be able to recognize Sam and Tucker and his family. Any living versions he may come across are either hallucinations or, even worse, imposters. And he'll attempt to attack either for their deception.
And even if he could recognize his family as alive and as him being in the past, he's still so mentally unstable that Rath would lash out at anyone if he perceived a threat against his family, or if he believed they were putting themselves in danger. He'd be very possessive and controlling, preventing them from going anywhere that wasn't under his careful watch. Anyone trying to get them away from him, he'd attack without mercy.
Ultimately, Danny would need to quickly stun Rath long enough to trap him in the thermos, before he can do any more damage. Only then can Rath's healing actually begin.
Also ty! I'm glad you liked my tags about Danny's feelings about Bruce and his motives behind killing the Joker. I thought it'd be a fun compare-contrast between Jason and Danny, as well as a good signifier for how much has changed between them both in the last five years.
77 notes · View notes
Text
Gai saw a man burn alive and longed to be engulfed in the same flames. His idea of heroism was tainted from the start, a sacrifice of self to power, so much power you die. Anything less is not good enough. He has never valued his life as anything other than his status and name. He wanted nothing more than to burn after he released the 8th gate. He was kept alive as punishment for his ego, Maito Gai needed to learn how to live life as a human being.
75 notes · View notes
lavellane · 20 days ago
Text
thinking about how that solavellan ending actually Works for lavellans who want that hopeful ending but arent as forgiving abt the whole situation as veilguard presented it. and i do think in ashara's case, yes, she goes with him out of love, but more so out of duty. post trespasser she drops the name lavellan in favor of her family name, dhavise, since her place in the clan had already been cast into question and her allegiances with the chantry/solas are cause for doubt as to whether she's even welcome back anymore. but i think by the end of veilguard she's reaffirmed her identity as Lavellan no matter what, and truly does see herself as the Keeper of not just her own clan but of her whole modern people, and with that rekindled purpose she chooses to watch over them all by way of watching over fen'harel. protecting them by protecting him from himself. which ironically is the reason the dalish HAVE keepers in the first place
Tumblr media
#oc: ashara#datv spoilers#datv#tay plays datv#sorry but we're doing solavellan tag essays again i fear#i am so :))))) abt lavellan's capacity to be for solas EXACTLY what varric was for rook in that prison#a guide. a reminder. an anchor. a hope.#started from the bottom (''fen'harel ma ghilana'') now we're here ("ar ghilana fen'harel'') !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#anyway the way i imagine the prison situation is that its exactly like any other place in the fade. changeable depending on emotion#and interpretation and point of view.#i think regret is so powerful as a prison lock bc anyone who believes themselves to be a god lacks the self awareness to even FEEL regret#so it WORKED for the evanuris. but it didnt work for rook because they arent a god and facing regret IS possible for them! and then like#the solas ending where he says “i am a GOD” Guarantees he cant escape bc hes PAST that point. the neutral ending leaves it open to anything#but the redemption ending is the one where he most clearly reaffirms that he is NOT a god and so the capacity for him to impact the walls#by facing its nature and by extension his OWN nature is... hopeful :) so i think its probably gonna look like it did in the game for a whil#but it will heal as he does :) im picturing a little house where everything seems a little bit brighter day by day#and when regret creeps back in and the fade reflects that then lavellan is there to fix it. and fix it again. and again and again if needed#until it finally DOES look like the way that end mural presented it. dare i say the black city goldened ...........
51 notes · View notes
s0fter-sin · 20 days ago
Text
(cw non-sexual kink, cis male tiddy sucking)
nikolai takes one look at ghost - at the stiffness he holds himself with, arms held rigidly at his sides as he glares ahead, each breath carefully measured to make himself unnoticed - and knows it’s been too long since he’s checked on his boy
all it takes is a single look, catching his bruised and tired eyes, and ghost all but slumps. nikolai turns, heading towards the 141’s private rec room and he doesn’t need to hear the near-silent footsteps to know ghost’s following. he pulls him down onto the couch, bringing him into the circle of his arms even as he weakly tries to pull away
“don’t need it, nik; don’t have time…” ghost argues but it’s hollow at best
“hush, sweet one,” he soothes his halfhearted protests and thumbs his mask up above his lips. “always so nervous; so lost...”
he tugs his shirt up, showing off his belly and the heavy swell of his hairy pecs; nipples already pebbled. he cups the back of ghost’s head, his thumb brushing over his exposed jaw and ghost is helpless to follow as he gently leads him to latch onto his breast
“i have you,” he promises
no matter how big he is, in presence or in stature, nikolai is bigger; encompassing his whole body in warmth and safety, the familiar scent of cologne and motor oil filling his senses just as the heat of his tit fills his mouth
ghost’s eyes roll back and he nuzzles deeper into his chest, sinking into him and lets his mind empty as he suckles
-
soap didn’t mean to. he didn’t mean to walk in on something not meant for his eyes. he just wanted to check on ghost; he’s been so distant lately, different from his usual bad days and he doesn’t know how to help him but that doesn’t mean he isn’t going to try
but he didn’t mean for this; for guilt and a heated, confused want to chase through him as he enters the rec room and realises nikolai got to ghost first
realises they’re not just necking on the couch; that ghost’s lips are pressed tight to nikolai’s furred breast and not moving away, a gentle hollow thinning his exposed cheeks as he sucks, his throat softly bobbing as he swallows
nikolai’s cupping the back of his head, fingers drifting through the blonde hair at the nape of his neck and he looks so fond; like there’s nowhere he’d rather be than on their broken in couch with ghost curled around his body, sucking what must be a deep ache into his tit.
then nikolai looks up at him, frozen in the doorway and soap-
soap runs
-
nikolai gives soap a few days before he tries to talk about it; gives him a chance to come to terms with what he's seen. it's almost adorable; how deep soap’s flush grows when he sees him, how he stumbles over his words and can’t quite make eye contact
but it also tugs at him that he feels the need to shrink, to brace himself from whatever punishment he thinks is headed his way; shoulders hunching in, arms wrapped almost defensively around his body before finding whatever excuse he can to run from him
run from himself
he wishes he could wait for soap to come to him but he knows lost boys and their fear of coming in from the cold
nikolai keeps himself gentle as he uses his bulk to corner soap; stopping him from running but also using it to show how easily he could hide in him if he just let himself give in. if he let him take care of him the same way he takes care of ghost
"but... but it's wrong," soap whispers, fingers tangling with a gold cross at the hollow of his throat (a cross so similar to one he’d melted down all those years ago), but he speaks with such clear longing; eyes wide where he stares up at him, all but begging to be told otherwise and it almost breaks nikolai's heart
"no, lovely boy," he denies softly and soap shudders as he cups his face and backs him up against the corner; hugged by both walls and nikolai himself. "there is nothing more natural."
he caresses soap's cheek. he feels him shake under his touch, his eyes already growing dewy, and chances drifting his fingers over his bottom lip. soap's breath hitches and he looks up at him with so much fear - so much trust - and hesitantly opens his mouth to let them sink inside
nikolai doesn't press them too deep, doesn't threaten his throat, but they are thick and wide; filling his mouth and comfortably weighing down his tongue
with a small, involuntary moan, soap closes his lips around his fingers and nikolai catches him with his body as he goes limp. he coos as he starts sucking; wrapping his other arm around his head and brings him into his body, hidden and safe and small
"my good, lovely boy," he whispers and soap lets out a cracked whimper. "you are not wrong."
he isn't ready yet, much the same way ghost wasn't ready at first. but feeling soap tremble and suckle at his fingers, nikolai knows he'll soon have another boy tucked safe to his breast
#soap thinking it’s wrong not bc nikolai and ghost are men (though that’s part of it)#but bc he knows the church would see it as a bastardisation of the virgin mary#the mother feeding christ; the ultimate act of care and love#and it must be a perversion; it must be a twisted imitation of something pure#right?#it cant be something genuine; pure; bc if ghost can have it… does thst mean he can too?#soap desperate for such comfort and acceptance; things he thinks he’ll never receive#bc he knows he’ll never be worthy of such things#never devout enough; never loyal enough; never well behaved enough#shaming his family and his church along with it every time he opened his mouth#he constantly chases this elusive ‘good enough’; always forced himself to be better; stronger; /perfect/#bc then it will mean he’ll have earned it right? he’ll be given the love he’s always yearned for but always fell short of#and nikolai who was raised russian orthodox? all he can see is a burnt out reflection of himself#he recognises the same longing he used to feel before he realised he will never be enough for them#that they want him to be a man he will despise and even then he’ll still be denied the comfort he wanted#and he doesnt want that; for ghost or soap#he’ll give them everything they want and more until they understand everything they deserve#we’re a team. ghost team#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#nikolaighost#nikghost#nikolai x ghost#niksoap#nikolaisoap#nikolai x soap#cod nikolai#simon ghost riley#ghost cod#john soap mactavish#soap cod
50 notes · View notes
swan2swan · 1 month ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
It's a good thing he's in a bathtub, because that guy is a MESS.
59 notes · View notes
akiacia · 10 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
the things that come back
390 notes · View notes
stranger-theory · 3 months ago
Text
Can we all give Mike Wheeler some understanding, please? I don't wanna hear your whiny ass say that Mike Wheeler isn't good enough for Will one more time, I WILL find your home address. (Directed)
"Will isn't 'head over heels' for Mike, he just has a crush" I'm sorry but did you have your eyes closed in the interview in which his actor explains how he's been in love with Mike since the first season?? Hello???
Mike Wheeler is a gay boy in the '80s. Mike Wheeler is dating a girl he doesn't love romantically to appear "normal". Mike Wheeler has seen several people brutally die in front of him. Mike Wheeler had to witness the disappearance and possession of his best friend. Mike Wheeler has dealt with thinking two people he cares about have died. Mike Wheeler is a boy who went through homophobic bullying. Mike Wheeler is a boy who had to save the world four times already.
MIKE WHEELER IS A BOY.
He dealt with all this bullshit at the VERY young age that is 12-15. You want to tell this kid he's a bad person for being stressed? He has so much on his mind at such a young age from literally all of that and you expect him to act rational? Peaceful? "Correct"??😭
You are literally stupid if you think that's the proper opinion. He is going through the same shit as the other characters, the only reason you don't get pissed at Will is because he internalizes his feelings, rather than kind of exploding (which is what Mike does). These are just different responses to trauma, dumbass. Sorry it doesn't look pretty for you, but that's not how it works.
Erm, have the day you deserve, I guess. Bye, chat.
69 notes · View notes