#him going there first after something bad happens with zeus is canon in my heart

[moodyseal]

TOApril Day 28 – Silent Thunder

Last prompt for this year!! Waystation gang to the rescue ✊

[phantaloon-books]

Things about Tower of Nero that I want to highlight to remember them forever:

Lu being an absolute badass woman, I just love her too much

Piper McClean being canon wlw, she was actually kissing another girl, we really fell in love in october

Chaos being canonically female (just chaos being mentioned as a deity rather than what's below tartarus)

nobody DIED, like no one on the good side at least?? yes plenty of beings have died throughout TOA, but nobody died in TON?? so many died in TLO and BOO, I expected to mourn someone and I didn't have too??! it made me so happy

solangelo. that's it. solangelo makes me happy.

will being incredibly supportive of nico, and instead of stopping him, going with him on dangerous adventures because he doesn't want to leave him alone. also them treating Nico's PTSD for what it is

WILL SOLACE CANONICALLY GLOWS IN THE DARK. HE'S A GLOWSTICK BABY.

also will just appearing at the gates of the throne room, glowing in rage because someone touched his boyfriend (and tried to kill his dad), and him just marching through everyone (everyone else letting him), just to pick up his hurt precious boyfriend and take care of him.

meg McCaffrey got her happy ending. she's baby, she deserves her family and her happy ending. also Lu being the mother and the 12 children being siblings?? that's one hell of a way to tell nero to fuck off and right his mistakes. we love meg.

dionysus being the best olympian after apollo. the duo content we needed, and now will never get

nico mentioning bob and how he wants to go look for him, because he can still be in tartarus

rachel still being a Total badass and hitting people in the eye with her blue hairbrush thus being iconic

meg acting as lester's anchor and only reason why he didn't let go of the ledge, not falling into chaos, is top tier 'reasons why I cried reading', because if you think about it, Meg is the first ever friend apollo ever had, and them being best friends is everything to me

also apollo choosing to go looking as lester rather than apollo because lester feels like home is on top tier 'reasons why I cried reading' too

again, the only thing apollo did in the end (once he was god again) that could be described as 'godly' was be in several places at once, fly his chariot, and get meg her unicorn

but apollo shooting fucking fire out of his hands is crazy asf, it was so cool. he really got amazing godly powers this book.

rick being bold enough to showcase abusive parenting knowing that a huge porcentage of his readers are minors, helping many realize that they could be in abusive households, and giving them a tool to reach out for help

apollo defeating nero was so satisfactory, because you realize in the end, that nero wasn't really a monster, he was monstrous, but still very much human (if only with some godly power), and pretty useless once he couldn't hide behind props and weapons, his being wasn't powerful, he was just under layers of protection

the jackson/blofis scene was so warm and loving, they really are willing to put their family in danger, baby estelle in danger, to help 'percy's friends' even tho she knew percy didn't like apollo, but she still takes in everyone who needs help, and paul being a loving and accepting husband

sally working on her SECOND novel, she really is having her best life

none of the big heroes from other series having protagonism, besides nico and will, instead giving the other kids from camp halfblood their chance to show they're just as worthy as the "heroes of olympus"

(still I would have loved to see a scene with everyone else, like the heroes of olympus guys, fighting together one last time, just for nostalgia's sake - I legit hoped to see percy and annabeth arriving with chiron in triumvirate tower, but yeah)

the arrow of dodona may have been a dumb, cringey, and slightly ridiculous thing at first, and I personally rolled my eyes everytime it said anything, but it knew what would happen from the start, and without its sacrifice, apollo would have achieved nothing. we stan one arrow

nico wearing a white cowboy hat. idky but it makes my heart swell with joy. he a gay cowboy

y'all know I love Apollo's arch, and I just gotta point this out. his trials, his time as lester, started with him falling to earth, and ended with him getting up after purposely throwing himself off the earth, towards tartarus, almost falling to chaos. that's really clever writing.

the olympians watching over him, and some actually being concerned for him rather than his progress.

poseidon not really giving a fuck about the world or council meetings anymore because percy's not there anymore

athena being the only one apart from artemis who trusted apollo could do it makes me warm fsr

lester deciding that the best way to retell his adventures is by singing is hilarious to me, he really thinks it'll solve everything

Grover not telling percy and annabeth jason died seems so funny to me, he really said "nah it doesn't matter much, field trip, yes"

"hey man" my heart broke in twenty million pieces. like I don't know where I expected to see jason. but that wasn't it. and it hurt me as much as it hurt apollo man.

(also I kinda hoped we would see nico summon his spirit or smth, but I'm actually happy nico realized that jason went by his own choice, and he was in peace, so he decided not to summon him, because it was alright. that hurt too)

kinda love how lester passes out after literally every battle. it reminds you that even tho he's apollo, his body isn't. I'm sure we all would pass out too if we did a quarter of what lester did in the span of 4 days. his body isn't made to endure that, it doesn't even have a halfblood endurance, it's a weak mortal body

the trogs were fucking hilarious. their screeches and grrs, idk there's something ridiculous and so childish about them, it's so fun

really happy that apollo never had a /real/ love interest (reyna doesn't count), cause that wasn't what his story was about. instead he got to make so many friends, and have quality time with them and his children, it's amazing

apollo being thankful people were telling him he'd grown, and was more human, because he realized that was the best thing he could have learned from his time as a mortal

also him saying fuck you man to zeus and his speech, like "no asshole dad, I did learn, I'm not going to see this as punishment, it was a great time in which bad things happened but I enjoyed it." yes, we love apollo not letting zeus win

getting to see what everyone will do now. nico and will figuring out rachel's prophecy, probs saving bob. rachel living her best life away from her parents. leo doing what leo does, always helping those who have no one else. the hunters' open storyline about this fox, possibly hinting at content? piper settling down in a quiet life is what she deserves tbh, she's earned quiet life with a cute gf, wish her the best. Frank and hazel being the best praetors, and I bet they will continue to be so. And annabeth and percy, who chose their happiness over all, at last

kinda wish we got to see someone still really miss jason after apollo becomes god again tho lmao like apollo missed jason more than the others, nico and piper being the exception. I mean, leo is fine and dandy, hazel and frank are okay, percy and annabeth are done mourning... I just we got to see any of them really mourning, rather than reading they mourned. it would have made it feel more emotional

the last conversation and the last words in general. "the sun always comes back" and "we're friends now. call on me. I'll be there for you" that shit got me sobbing my heart out. rick really managed to do right by the books and end it like he should have, unlike BOO. he took what made TLO good and used a similar formula. it's very different from "and for once I didn't look back", but it still fills you with warmth and the feeling that even though it's over, it's okay.

I'm just really emotional, this is all I can think about, but you bet I'm gonna add more when I remember

[haec-est-fides]

Filodox’s Trials of Apollo Reactions [Part I]

Welcome to part one of a reflective journey through Trials of Apollo ft. my original ebook annotations! I’ll be your host, 2020!filodox.

For this first episode, we’ll be going back to May 2016, the beginning of it all: The Hidden Oracle.

Annotations for this round are brought to you by 2016!filodox.

Is there anything we should know before we begin, 2016!me?

2016!filodox: I swore on the Styx never to read another Riordan book after he killed Octavian. And yet here we are.

... Alright then! Let’s get started.

But first, a more detailed overview on how this series will work: I will excerpt bits and pieces of the books based on what I highlighted / annotated on my first read. Beneath each quote, I will share what I wrote in the annotation. Below that, I will (occasionally) laugh at my past self, clarify the note, or say how my view has changed.

I encourage questions, comments, and concerns (of which there may be many), so go ahead and use that replies feature if you feel so inclined! However, these are just my opinions and (occasionally) emotional reactions, so no hate pls. <3 (Or, if you do send hate, pls make it funny.)

Now, diving right in with Riordan’s dedication!

To The Muse Calliope. This is long overdue. Please don’t hurt me.

2016!filodox: Hurt him. He didn’t even name the chapters.

As you can see, I had yet to experience Lester’s haiku and was already mad based on the table of contents alone. I went into this series very salty...

I inflicted a plague on the Greeks who besieged Troy.

2016!filodox: At least he did something right. Once.

I was just,,,extremely ready to die on Octavian’s hill. (Though I was a huge Troy / Aeneas stan before all this, just to be clear.)

Is anything sadder than the sound of a god hitting a pile of garbage bags?

2016!filodox: I actually find this particular god crashing into a dumpster quite amusing.

I also blamed Apollo for what happened to Octavian. I think that had a lot to do with how Apollo acted on Delos in Heroes of Olympus, basically disowning Octavian and whining about how some “creature” scammed him? That was bullshit. Apollo needed to own the fact that he blessed Octavian, but he just abandoned him and denied all the blame. TL;DR I had a grudge, okay?

My mind stewed in confusion, but one memory floated to the surface -- the voice of my father, Zeus: YOUR FAULT. YOUR PUNISHMENT.

2016!filodox: Wait, is this bc everyone blames Octavian and therefore Apollo? Bc lol but also no?

*cough* Octavian did nothing wrong 2k16 *cough*

Zeus will reconsider, I told myself. He’s just trying to scare me. Any moment, he will yank me back to Olympus and let me off with a warning.

“Yes...” My voice sounded hollow and desperate. “Yes, that’s it.”

2016!filodox: Apollo is a self centered frat boy, I forgot...but it is slightly...endearing? *narrows eyes*

Ah, how close I was to stanning Lester in the first chapter, when he was at his most “goddy”. You know, I actually made a rule for myself when I started reading Trials of Apollo that I would not under any circumstances stan Apollo. That was a naive goal, because it was never really a danger.

Regardless, Zeus had held me responsible for Octavian’s delusions of grandeur. Zeus seemed to consider egotism a trait the boy had inherited from me. Which is ridiculous. I am much too self-aware to be egotistical.

2016!filodox: I am going to Murder him.

*chef kiss* the hypocrisy ! the lack of self-awareness !

“I just...I assumed -- I hoped this would be taken care of by now.”

“You mean by demigods,” Percy said, “going on a big quest to reclaim the Oracle of Delphi?”

2016!filodox: That sounds like a decent quest, or you know, QUESTING FOR THE SIBYLLINE BOOKS

I’ve always said I can see the future but an inch to the left. Also, I don’t like Ella.

It warmed my heart that my children had the right priorities: their skills, their images, their views on YouTube. Say what you will about gods being absentee parents; our children inherit many of our finest personality traits.

2016!filodox: AND HE’S MAD ABOUT OCTAVIAN?!

I mean ?

Apollo, when Austin and Kayla show ambition: THEY GOT THAT FROM ME <3

Apollo, when Octavian (or Nero, or Caligula) shows ambition: srry i don’t know him ??

He had a weak jawline, an overlarge nose, and a beard that wrapped around his double chin like a helmet strap. His hair was curly and dark like mine, except not as fashionably tousled or luxuriant. His lips curled as if he smelled something unpleasant. Perhaps it was the burning seats of the bus.

2016!filodox: Nero ???

Not quite sure how to feel looking back at this moment. Call out post @ myself for instantly recognizing Nero, when afaik this scene was before we had any hints that Roman emperors were even a plot point? But here’s the thing: I don’t remember why I could recognize him so easily. I don’t remember where 2016!me obtained this ancient Rome knowledge. A mystery.

On another note entirely, did Nero really like,,,astral project into Apollo’s fever dream to address him directly? Because Rhea does. And sometimes Python does. But Nero? Can he do that?

The man laughed as flames licked at his purple sleeves. “You’re not sorry yet, but you will be. Find me the gates. Lead me to the Oracle. I’ll enjoy burning it down!”

2016!filodox: I too enjoy burning things down. # Nero confirmed

My only comment here is “oh you sweet summer child,,,”

Oh. Perhaps some of you are wondering how I felt seeing [Will] with a boyfriend rather than a girlfriend.

2016!filodox: No, actually. I wasn’t wondering. I was plotting how to kill you, them, and quite a few other people. Do you think I could trade you for Octavian?

Oh man, back at it again with the salt. XD

I could only remember my conversations with Octavian, the way he’d turned my head with his flattery and promises. That stupid boy...it was his fault I was here.

A voice whispered in the back of my mind. This time I thought it might be my conscience: Who was the stupid boy? It wasn’t Octavian.

2016!filodox: I can’t really...explain my emotions upon reading this. I’m still not quite okay, but this...it’s bittersweet in a way. I don’t know if this is a poor attempt at a proper closure, the author’s way of beating a dead horse, or just a way to make Apollo seem pitiable. Whatever it is... Octavian was important enough to remain in Apollo’s mortal memory. He somehow made promises to a god and had Apollo wrapped around his finger. And despite being so much like Apollo, the god blames him. Like everyone blames him. But Apollo also realizes, accepts on an infinitesimal scale, that “it wasn’t Octavian”. He wasn’t perfect, but neither is Apollo. Apollo is (at least) subconsciously admitting his own guilt in the whole affair.

...yeah. I will note that this bit isn’t meant to develop Octavian, but rather uses Octavian as a prop to support Apollo’s development? Which is why it still stings. Like thanks, I guess.

“Your judgement in the past has been...questionable. I wonder if you have chosen the right tools for this job. Have you learned from your past mistakes?”

2016!filodox: Nero has made plenty of mistakes to learn from

Love how I just assumed it was Nero back in chapter 10 and went with it, zero hesitation. Also love how I heard Python say Nero has made mistakes and went “oh absolutely”. In fact, here’s something funny in retrospect that will become more and more apparent: I did not like Nero in 2016. Or, at least, I thought I didn’t. There’s something really odd going on here that baffles me, looking back...

“A triumvirate is a ruling council of three,” I said. “At least, that’s what it meant in ancient Rome.”

“Which is interesting,” Rachel said, “because of this next shot.” She tapped her screen. The new photo zoomed in on the building’s penthouse terrace, where three shadowy figures stood talking together....

2016!filodox: Is it bad that I’m smirking? Because it’s getting interesting ~ *clear malicious intent*

Wow, edgy. Triumvirates are just a neat, Roman thing and I stanned.

“The last triumvirate I dealt with included Lepidus, Marc Antony, and my son, the original Octavian. A triumvirate is a very Roman concept...like patriotism, skullduggery, and assassination.”

2016!filodox: THIS IS WHAT I’VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL EVERYONE. MODERN OCTAVIAN IS A VERY GOOD ANCIENT ROMAN. POLITICS, ESPECIALLY SHADY AF POLITICS AND POWERPLAYS, ARE QUINTESSENTIALLY ROMAN. Also, I’d like to note that it’s confirmed, in this universe’s canon, that Augustus was a son of Apollo.

Ohhhh, wait. I think I’d watched the HBO series Rome by 2016, which would at least partially explain my ancient Rome knowledge. (Amazing tv show btw!)

“He heard them talking in Latin.”

“Latin? Were they campers?”

Pete spread his hands. “I--I don’t think so. Paulie described them like they were adults. He said one of them was the leader. The other two addressed him as imperator.”

2016!filodox: !!!! (obligatory 💕)

I was such a simp for Latin in high school. And the Roman Empire. Still am, but hey.

“The Beast is planning some kind of attack on your camp. I don’t know what it is, but it’s going to be big.”

2016!filodox: Runs in the family I guess

The Octavian / Triumvirate parallels are everywhere... 👀

“The emperors made themselves gods. They had their own temples and altars. They encouraged the people to worship them.”

2016!filodox: # deify me

*smacking my past self with a stick* You stop that! Edgy child!

Anyway, a much better point here is like,,,the Imperial cult was huge in the ancient Roman world. Looking at Apollo’s explanation here, why did only the “worst” three emperors get to be immortal? Did famously “good” emperors like Augustus and Marcus Aurelius have the option of becoming minor gods, but they chose Elysium or something? Are there slightly less infamous emperors just hanging around anywhere as minor gods? A lot of Roman emperors live on in human memory is all I’m saying.

“Wait!” Will said as I reached the door. “Who is the Beast? Which emperor are we dealing with?”

“The worst of my descendants.” My fingers dug into the doorframe. “The Christians called him the Beast because he burned them alive. Our enemy is Emperor Nero.”

2016!filodox: I honestly can’t believe it took this long to reveal this? Was anyone surprised?

Nero’s reveal is rather late in the book compared to Commodus, Caligula, and even Tarquin iirc? But it makes sense, being the first book of the series. Also love how 16-year-old me was like “this reveal is silly because everyone, like me, recognizes Nero on sight” and didn’t question that assumption at all.

“Germani.” Instinctively, I moved in front of Meg. The elite imperial bodyguards had been cold-blooded death reapers in ancient Rome. I doubted they’d gotten any sweeter over the centuries.

2016!filodox: BITCH. See? This is why I love Rome. They knew what they were doing.

Ngl, as someone of Germanic heritage, I felt really represented by the Germani, which is hilarious on so many levels.

He tried to compensate for his ugliness with an expensive Italian suit of purple wool, his gray shirt open to display gold chains. His shoes were hand-tooled leather, not the sort of thing to wear while stomping around in an ant pile. Then again, Nero had always had expensive, impractical tastes.

2016!filodox: I don’t exactly like Nero, and actually think he was quite the shitty emperor, but I guess I mildly respect and “like” him on principle (in this book at least).

OH YOU SWEET SUMMER CHILD. I was so convinced that I didn’t actually like Nero, despite all of the lowkey evidence to the contrary? Who hurt you, past me? (Lmao, it was Tacitus, Suetonius, and Cassius Dio.) My working theory is that I was too much of an Emperor Augustus stan at the time to admit liking Nero. It’s hysterical. Look at me equivocating like a champ.

I’d been so proud of my son, the original Octavian, later Caesar Augustus. After his death, his descendants became increasingly arrogant and unstable (which I blamed on their mortal DNA; they certainly didn’t get those qualities from me).

2016!filodox: I’m glad Apollo and I can agree on something. Augustus was amazing and those who came after him...significantly less so.

See! The propaganda really got to me, what can I say?

Nero clasped his hands as if in prayer. “Oh, my. It seems we’ve had a slight miscommunication. You see, Apollo, Meg brought you here, just as I asked her to. Well done, my sweet.”

2016!filodox: This was obvious but I still find it...gods, the only word I can think of is “delicious”

. . .

“The Beast killed my father. This is Nero. He’s -- he’s my stepfather.”

I could not fully grasp this before Nero spread his arms.

“That’s right, my darling,” he said. “And you’ve done a wonderful job. Come to Papa.”

2016!filodox: Okay, but we should have known this since it became apparent her weapons were Roman. Also, oof. Also also, WHY did Riordan feel the need to add that last line? Why?

ASDFGHJKL: I CAN’T

“After the fire, we’ll rebuild,” he said. “It will be glorious!”

2016!filodox: The amount of times I have used this very logic is worrying.

For (some) context, Firelord Ozai is my favorite character from AtLA. <3

The scene might have been funny except that the Germani were now back on their feet, five demigods and a geyser spirit were still tied to highly flammable posts, and Nero still had a box of matches.

2016!filodox: Oh, I find this plenty amusing!

The emperor stared at his empty hand. “Meg...?” His voice was as cold as an icicle.

2016!filodox: The various ways his tone / voice have been described throughout this conversation are just 💕

*looks at camera like I’m on The Office*

Seriously, though. Nero’s voice is like the central descriptive element of his character because he’s so manipulative. It’s really cool and a great use of detail.

[Meg] turned to Nero. “You told me never to lower myself to my enemies’ level.”

“No, indeed.” Nero’s tone had frayed like a weathered rope. “We are better. We are stronger. We will build a glorious new world. But these nonsense-spewing trees stand in our way, Meg. Like any invasive weeds, they must be burned. And the only way to do that is with a true conflagration -- flames stoked by blood.”

2016!filodox: Real 👏🏻 Gods 👏🏻 Require 👏🏻 Blood👏🏻

I was way too enthusiastic about this whole situation, wasn’t I?

Nero grinned. “Good-bye, Apollo. Only eleven more Olympians to go.”

2016!filodox: Wait, shit, WHAT

Having read Tower of Nero, this probably had something to do with Python interfering with the Fates, huh? But does that mean it’s more Python’s plan or Nero’s? If this was Nero’s plan (with his 12 kids literally replacing the Olympians) that’s,,,really fucking bold.

Then I heard the screaming from Camp Half-Blood.

2016!filodox: Music to my ears ~

I’m presenting every edgy detail of my annotations so I have a proper case file when I inevitably have to face the question “On a scale of one to ten, how relatable is Emperor Nero and why should you have realized it’s a ten sooner?”

In a flash of silver light, the camp’s magical barriers collapsed. The Colossus lurched forward and brought his foot down on the dining pavilion, smashing it to rubble like so many children’s blocks.

2016!filodox: Payback! Dear gods, I can’t stop smiling! I’m just like “YES!” I know this will all probably get fixed or whatever but I’M HAVING A MOMENT.

I’ve learned to appreciate the small wins. <3

Percy grabbed one of the crown’s sunray spikes. He sliced it off at the base, then jabbed it into the Colossus’ forehead.

2016!filodox: As much as Nero is FAR from my favorite, I really don’t like defacing ancient (or replicas of ancient) statues and art...

This is where I just start laughing at myself tbh. I was so insistent on not liking Nero. Like, I sound like I’m in denial. Peak equivocation. What happened to that heart emoji a few chapters back? Why did I suddenly make it about *checks notes* ancient art? Updated translation: nooo don’t ruin the Colossus Neronis it’s so sexy aha

Just as the [arrow] reached its apex and was about to fall back to earth, a gust of wind caught it...perhaps Zephyros looking kindly on my pitiful attempt. The arrow sailed into the Colossus’ ear canal and rattled in his head with a clink, clink, clink like a pachinko machine.

2016!filodox: HOW MANY EX MACHINAS IS THIS ?! The dryads, the arrow, Percy, the enchantment, and THIS ?

One of my criticisms of Trials of Apollo in general is just that the stakes are so much higher and Riordan usually solves that problem by having his heroes win on long odds. The chances of them succeeding at like,,,anything they attempt are astronomical, but of course they manage. It’s not surprising but it does get a little tiring.

“Yo, Nico,” Leo called, “please tell me that’s it for the physical abuse.”

“For now.” Nico smiled. “We’re still trying to get in touch with the West Coast. You’ll have a few dozen people out there who will definitely want to hit you.”

2016!filodox: Oh I’d love to hit him. With the flaming, Imperial gold payload of an onager. Preferably WITHOUT the Pontifex Maximus attached to it -- unless of course you mean the false pontifex, Jason Grace.

Leo was the salt in the wound for this one, ngl. He rekindled my undying ire over Octavian’s death. As I said at the beginning of this, I was extremely ready to die on Octavian’s hill after Heroes of Olympus. That sentiment sticks around for a while...

And we can call that a wrap!

Though it may seem like it, my annotations are not, in fact, a compilation of Nero’s greatest hits. There are a lot of scenes of his that I love (naturally) but I didn’t have anything to say about them when I first read the series. Maybe I’ll share those another time.

In any case, I hope you got something out of this ridiculously long post! Until next time! <3

[tsarisfanfiction]

Please can I ask E, L, O and Z from the writer asks list.

Of course you can!  I’m always up for answering things :D

E. Have you ever written a crossover?

Yup!  I’ve written a handful of them actually, from my first and only bashing fic Vampire vs Shinobi (Twilight and Naruto - I have always hated Twilight) which ngl is only still up on my accounts because it’s something I’ve written and if I prune fics to only be the ones I’m currently proud of... many fics would not stay up very long.  My second-biggest fic, both in terms of wordcount and popularity, it also a crossover.  The Combat School was my twist on the super common 2012 trope “the exorcists from the manga D.Gray-Man take part in the Triwizard Tournament”, and was my first 100k word fic and I think still ranks highly if you look at Harry Potter/DGM crossovers on FFN by reviews/favourites/followers.  I think at one point it was as high as 4th but I doubt it’s that high any more.  Slightly sneaky is my TAG/Fight Rising crossover Stolen Shadows, because strictly speaking you could just call it a dragon!AU for TAG, but they’re based on the fandragons I’ve got for the Tracy boys+Thunderbirds on the site and FR does have its own category on AO3 and FFN.

I think those are my only published ones, but I do enjoy prodding at ‘what if these two ‘verses collided’ in my head so there are a few others floating around that’ll probably never be actually written, but they’re fun to play with.

L. What is your favourite fic idea that you don’t think you’ll ever write?

Oh boy, this one’s tough.  I usually try to write everything I think is worth anything, but some of them are just huge, so whether or not they’ll happen is another matter entirely.  Because I’m really bored I’ll talk about all the current ‘huge and too ambitious to probably ever finish’ ideas.  If they do end up one day happening, ah well, you heard them here first :P

Love Makes Fools (One Piece) - A retelling of the Wano Arc (most likely to be scrapped because the daydreaming I call planning happened long before the arc started so none of it is anything like how Oda’s actually shown) that’s actually a shipping fic, unusually for me.  Shachi saves Kid’s life and Kid falls in love with him, leaving Shachi to handle the Kid Pirates while the StrawHeart alliance are off doing their usual crazy shenanigans and winding Kaido up.

Fight Against the Tide (Boku no Hero Academia) - A retelling of the entire manga except it’s not Izuku that’s Quirkless, but Bakugo, and unlike Izuku, Bakugo is determined to make it on his own and turns down the offer of One for All (but still manipulates All Might into training him).  Lots of Bakugo and Mei chaos as she gives him the support gear he needs to keep up without a Quirk.

If They Never Were (One Piece) - A retelling of the entirety of One Piece (ahahah) except if Luffy never met Shanks and therefore a) never wanted to be a pirate and b) never ate the Gomu Gomu no Mi.  Follows Luffy’s adventures in the Marines, and explores what would have happened to the rest of the Straw Hats if they never met Luffy - or at least, never met pirate!Luffy.  I actually have a cast of OCs ready to go for this but this project is so ludicrously big I doubt it’ll ever be finished.

TAGxPJO thing - The Greek Gods foresaw the creation of IR and agreed with it, but there was one problem: the Tracy family are all suited to the sky, but most of the Earth is covered in water.  Cue Gordon Tracy, son of Lucille Tracy and... Poseidon!  The Tracys all know about demigods and gods and stuff but still consider Gordon their full brother, and to keep the monsters away from the powerful young demigod they ended up on the island where Poseidon could protect them (and a promise from Zeus that he won’t blast Thunderbirds out of the sky for having a son of Poseidon in them).  Chiron’s going crazy knowing there’s a demigod out there somewhere that he can’t find and train.

TAGxDCMK thing - Okay, so this one is probably my absolute favourite.  Scott sees something on a rescue that the Black Org didn’t want him to, so he got APTX’d, and TB1 got stolen.  Conan and Haibara take him in and hide him from the world (including his own family) and he joins the fight to take down the BO.  Meanwhile, the Tracys are going crazy looking for Scott.  In this AU no-one knows who IR really are, so Conan and co. don’t know Scott’s real name.  However, the Tracys are still a rich family so they’ve rubbed shoulders with the Kudos before and Scott’s met Shinichi as a kid and realises who he is.  At some point they end up going to Tracy Island?  idk, not sure where it would go after that.  And KID is involved because you can’t not involve KID.

O. Is there any fandom you’ve been into that you haven’t written fic for? Why not?

Many, usually because I’m just not inspired enough to actually write anything for them.  If they’ve got a really complex canon, or something I just can’t get my head into, I tend to not write, either.  Same with if there’s a character I can connect to enough.  Examples include Homestuck, JoJo’s Bizarre Adventures (although I do have a vague wip for a Steel Ball Run fic, actually) and Miraculous Ladybug, but I’m sure there’s more if I think harder.

Z. Post an excerpt from either your first fic or your most recent one.

Oh hell, why don’t we do both so I can cringe and cry and what I used to be like vs what I’m like now.  Going with posted only (wips are a whole other kettle of fish).

First ever posted fic, from September 2009: Unwanted (Naruto).  The opening:

There was not a sound to be heard. For once, there was no breeze caressing the emerald leaves in the forest surrounding Konoha. Not a single bird sang; nothing stirred. The bright blue sky didn't contain one cloud - the sunshine was unbroken.

A raven haired teenager stood in the heart of the wood, gazing emotionlessly at the Village Hidden in the Leaves with cold, black eyes.

"It's changed," he murmured quietly. There was a rustle behind him and his three companions appeared.

"So there's your hometown, Sasuke," the silver haired shinobi said, violet eyes inspecting the village. "It's pretty busy." He was right - they could just about make out the general hubbub of village life. The dark haired adolescent said nothing.

"What's wrong, Sasuke-kun?" the only kunoichi in the team asked, putting one hand on Sasuke's chest where his shirt was open, and the other embracing him. He shrugged her off coldly.

"Quit flirting with Sasuke you cow, Karin," the silver haired ninja told the red head.

"I'm not a cow, Suigetsu you...you..." she spluttered, unable to think of a bad enough insult.

"Shut up you two," the final member of the team said quietly, his fiery eyes glinting in the sunlight. Karin and Suigetsu quickly stopped bickering. With much trepidation, Sasuke started to walk towards the gate. He hadn't eaten for days - starving himself, pushing himself further. His vision blurred slightly, but he carried on walking. It wasn't long, however, before everything went black and he fainted.

Most recent fic, from July 2020: Grounded (Thunderbirds).  The ending:

"Scott?" Virgil sounded worried, and he opened his eyes – when he had closed them? – to look up at his worried brother. Alan and Gordon hovered nearby, and he looked at them all in turn, even John's silent hologram – his ginger brother hadn't been there when the test had started, hadn't been expected after he pointed out their holotech's range didn't reach that far. "Are you okay?"

Was he okay? He had a broken rib, was recovering from a near-fatal spider bite and its side effects of dehydration, bradycardia and hypotension, and the man who had almost killed his brothers multiple times was standing the other end of the same balcony.

But they were one step, one significant step closer to Dad.

"Yeah," he said, staring out past them, at the platform cradling the most important engine International Rescue had ever created. For the first time since that horrid trash mine day five weeks earlier, he could honestly say, "I'm okay."

I’ll leave you guys to be the judge on whether or not I’ve improved at all.  I’d like to think I have.

[toushindai]

p cool how Hades calls his dog by name but calls his son "boy," occasionally even in the same sentence

And by cool I mean yikes

[it's free real estate voice] ~~It's bad parenting~~

...and then I ramble for 1300 words: No I’m proud of this it’s not rambling. It is 1300 words long though.

Eventually, I assume, at some emotional moment he will call Zagreus by name, and I wonder what can be done narratively to earn that moment. It can't come cheaply. As it stands currently, it's most often Hades who starts the conversations between the two of them, and not kindly. You can't yell at your kid for being cheeky if you snark at him first, dude! He is just an unforgivably bad parent as it currently stands, and inflexibly so. I get the impression that he has absolutely no idea how to get his son under control. Not a single, solitary clue. He's tried delegating, I suppose—to Nyx and Achilles and Megaera in various capacities—but none of them managed to bring Zag into line with what Hades wants. In at least Achilles' and Nyx’s cases* they likely applied the one strategy that Hades never has, that of listening to Zag and treating him like his own person; but of course this results in Zagreus making his own decisions and his own mistakes, which I don’t believe Hades appreciates—or appreciates the importance of.

(*In my own headcanon, if not necessarily explicitly in canon, Megaera was/is better at this than Hades, but not to Achilles’ and Nyx’s level, and not, crucially, to a level that Zag could tolerate perpetually.)

Hades doesn’t know what to do in order to get himself a compliant son, and so the strategy he keeps defaulting to is berating and belittling him incessantly. Despite the clear lack of success of this strategy! All it’s doing is teaching Zagreus that he’ll never have his father’s respect, no matter what he does; that in order to be any kind of equal, he has to give as good as he gets. Zagreus has learned that he shouldn’t take anything Hades says to heart because it is cruel under any circumstances. I mean the guy can’t even properly thank Zagreus for inspiring Orpheus to sing again. He’s super bad at this!

(Honestly, between Hades’ inability to get his son under control, his difficulty in convincing Orpheus to sing again, his inability to stop Nyx and Achilles from aiding Zag... maybe he’s just not great at getting people to do what he wants? And how does that reflect on a god; and does it in some concrete way weaken his influence in his domain? Would that induce a sense of urgency on the subject of getting Zagreus under control? Regardless—)

So, is this status quo going to remain intact until and beyond the end of the game, or is something going to change? Is there going to be some kind of reconciliation between father and son, is Hades going to stop being such a dick? I mean... to me, it feels like yes, even though I don’t see at this time how it can happen and I am actively wary of it coming cheaply. I think the reason I feel this way is that it seems very clear that Hades just... isn’t expressing himself well, or honestly. His anger is bluster and the scorn he heaps on Zagreus is frustration at his own impotence. I’m not excusing it! That doesn’t at all make it excusable, but I feel like it leaves open the possibility that if Hades can change that about himself, then he and Zagreus could communicate honestly moving forward. And that does lead into one worry I have—that some part of Zag is so desirous of his father’s approval that, given the opportunity, he will forgive Hades’ mistreatment more easily than a player/observer will. (cf. the two seconds in which he does, I think, sincerely fall for Hades’ “I thought you’d finally made it out.”) It seems that Zagreus is—by nature, and in spite of Hades’ abuse—generous and open with his emotions, he is someone who inherently and intensely wants to be in a state of getting along with people. And that could present a real narrative challenge, in that Zag might accept a revised status quo in which Hades treats him with some level of grudging respect more easily than the narrative, as it currently stands, demands of Hades.

There is of course the possibility that such a reconciliation won’t be on the table at all, won’t be presented as an option. I mean, as far as Zag’s planning at this point, he’s going to make it to the surface and leave Hades (place and person) behind entirely and that’s gonna be the end of that! I am acknowledging this possibility with these words but please let me make it excruciatingly clear that I do not believe it for one single second. I extremely, extremely do not think that Zag gets to stay on the surface the first time he makes it to the surface, I mean at this point with the roadmap public and calling for a fourth biome after Elysium that’s almost obvious but I’ve been thinking this from the beginning. I think he reaches the surface but something unexpected and intensely disillusioning happens and he winds up back at home. If it then comes out that part of Hades hoped that Zagreus's bullheaded persistence would bring him a success that Hades had given up imagining—if they're able to have some kind of honest conversation in which Zag feels hopeless while Hades admits begrudgingly to hope of his own—then I think things between them might begin to be repaired. (Then Zag recovers and sets out again, to Hades' baffled exasperation, but with a broader, less self-serving sense of purpose, or something? idk, I'm trying not to commit to only one theory of what might happen but this is the primary thing I've been picturing...)

But like I said, I'm having trouble imagining a story that concludes with a decision towards intentional, permanent estrangement, and not because I think there's anything wrong with that kind of story. Is it because that would sort of be the result of the path Zagreus is currently on, which has been characterized so far as careless, poorly thought through, incomplete**? I think that's it. It's not that I feel the narrative is aiming at "Zag just needs to ~give Hades a chance~"—not at all, on the contrary I think it shows that he has tried to give Hades those chances, primarily through trying to give him ambrosia and to a lesser extent when he tries to convey Zeus's offer of forgiveness. (Regardless of whether that offer from Zeus's end is appropriate, Zagreus put himself in the middle and gave Hades the chance to respond with decency, in spite of, uh, every piece of evidence we've seen so far suggesting that it would not go well.) If there is going to be transformation in this relationship, it absolutely has to start with Hades not being a dick to him anymore. And maybe that's not something Zagreus is actively looking for or working towards at this moment, and with ample reason. But, because it's so clear that Zagreus's sense of purpose is so underthought and naive, and because he does fall into what is currently a trap*** of trying to be open with Hades on occasion, I don't think "Zag gets away forever" is where this is going. And for that to happen, for that to be satisfying, Hades has got to stop being awful to him. That he is portrayed as otherwise fair means that this path is open, I think. But it's got to start with him backing the fuck off and admitting what he's been doing wrong for as long as Zag has been alive.

(**I very very very much want to look in detail at the way this impression is constructed because it's so crucial to what's happening and yet so external to the POV character. I just really love the way Supergiant tells stories indirectly, ok, I just—it's just amazing, I want to eat this ability and absorb it for myself.)

(***The sense of dread I feel when initiating both of those conversations is... quite exquisite? I don't want to tell Zagreus to bare his throat to the wolf, I don't want to navigate him into a position where his guard is down and his father just tears into him again, but... it's so important that that is something that Zag does, and it makes my heart ache for him.)

[jerrykatt]

Voltron/Percy Jackson Xover Part 2

Here's part one. I'd recommend reading it before coming back to this.

And so, now we know that Leo was rejected by his mother's family, his own aunt labeling him a diablo, a devil. We know that he was shunted off into the system with little sympathy and even less kindness. We know that the memory of his mother's death haunts his steps like an eldritch phantom. But now another death plagues him with suffocating guilt. The death of the man who chose to be left behind in a firestorm, knowing that his death was mere moments away but willing to face it head on if it meant he could save one small fledgling life.

He didn't remember much in the aftermath, that much was certain what with the shock that set in.

The fire giving one last heaving roar, reminiscent of a dragon's destructive fury. The unnatural explosion of force rocking the building. A woman's silhouette, standing tall and sinisterly pleased with her spiteful vengeance, throwing one last malevolent sneer in his direction before sinking into the earth below her feet.

The ringing in his ears and the ladder being blasted backwards.

Falling and screaming. An unmerciful impact with the pavement and his vision going black.

Waking up in a hospital, alone and unwanted.

It was all too much of a blur for Leo's young mind to comprehend in his traumatized state. But one of the things he did remember, besides the hole in his life where his mother should have been, was finding out the fireman's name. Or at least, the last part of it.

Kogane.

(That's where we see Keith fit into this chapter of Leo's life.)

Like Leo, Keith was also unfortunately placed into foster care. I haven't decided yet on how they meet after the fire. Perhaps they were sent to the same group home? Maybe they ran into each other after running from their respective foster families, sleeping under the same freeway overpasses? Either way, they might've become friends for a short time and then the classic reveal happens - Leo finds out Keith's last name, and ultimately the fact that his father was Fireman Kogane.

Leo can't face him anymore, not with the knowledge that he was reason his friend's father went up in flames. His flames.

He runs. And Keith? Well...

His mother's glaring absence, His father's death, and now his friend's unexplained rejection.

Each cut into his chest like a knife, as sharp as the blade he kept strapped to his belt.

The same blade that gives him a goal. A purpose.

To find his past. To find some answers.

(Anything to distract from the gnawing resentment, the aching loneliness)

So yeah. Keith takes it hard. But this is the perfect place to pause and explain EXACTLY why I chose Krolia to be Aphrodite in this AU. And, ultimately, why I thought Keith being the son of the goddess of love made SO MUCH SENSE. AND ALSO LETS NOT FORGET SEASON SEVEN ADDING MORE SPICE TO THE MIX

Let's start with Krolia. Krolia and Canon!Aphrodite have... little in common when it comes to personality. At least with the depictions I've read in PJO where Canon!Aphrodite apparently approves of her children breaking hearts (It's apparently a rite of passage in Aphrodite's cabin if I remember correctly). And the fact that her negative traits could be summarized in how one of her demigod children turned out (I'm looking at you Drew). Anyways here's where my idea comes in.

Sit up and away from your computer screen and take a look around at the world. Times are changing, standards are being shattered and rebuilt with each passing day. The concept of beauty itself is being torn into different directions. We have people who still prefer the classic hourglass figure, the full lips and sultry eyes, the flawless skin and the soft spoken nature of a damsel in distress. People who want the pretty princess bride, the stay at home wives.

Not necessarily weak in some aspects, but definitely not at the strongest potential either.

Still, it is the usual form that Canon!Aphrodite takes with little difference made when approaching each potential lover.

And on the other end of the spectrum, we have people who are attracted to independence, intellect, and strength. They want someone as either an equal or more than that. They like big biceps and thick muscular thighs.

We especially have people who don't care for what their precious people look like and end up adoring every part of them anyway. These people are muddled in the middle of the spectrum. They want something more raw, more real. It doesn't matter if the person is thick or thin, hairy or bald, or if they're missing a limb or two. A big nose? Bad breakout of zits? Trust me, for these people, it only adds to the charm.

I'd imagine in this turbulent world where opinions of beauty were being bounced around like a particularly ill aimed bouncy ball (one that would more than likely smack you in the face rather than land safely back in your hand), Aphrodite would end up having an identity crisis.

God's and goddesses have a sustainability that is based on mortal's worship and the strength of their domain. Aphrodite had enough mortals immortalizing her presence in art and literature to keep her remembered, that certainly wasn't the problem. Neither was the concept of love. Love was universal, the goddess of love understood that more than anyone. The problem was that Aphrodite's physical form was constantly fluctuating due to her the part of her domain pertaining to beauty being... constantly reconstructed? Stretched thin? I'm not sure how to describe it. All I can tell you is that Aphrodite ran from Olympus as she felt her powers getting out of hand. Maybe Haggar/Gaea and Zarkon/Uranus had planned to amplify the effects of what a changing society can do to a godly being? Perhaps Aphrodite was chosen to be a test subject to see if such a thing could be used as a weapon?

Regardless of the cause, the goddess fell to earth. She crashed outside a certain fireman's house and when she woke, her form had settled into the one we all know and love - Krolia's. Yep, purple skin, dual toned hair, pointed ears, claws, inhuman eyes, the whole package. I'm not kidding. Also I'm pretty sure if she hadn't sustained a concussion (and hadn't been so... pleasantly distracted by Kogane nursing her back to health) she would have screamed bloody murder at her reflection. She's at least grateful that she managed to keep her mile long legs (even if they now had her towering over most mortals) As it is, her powers are temporarily rendered useless because of the strain of her transformation.

Also the panic attack that she had once everything registered didn't help. Thankfully Kogane managed to calm her down, with a soothing voice and gentle rough hands.

Things settle. At first when they make introductions, she mixes up two of her usual aliases "Kristine" and "Olivia" and ends up blurting out "Krolia" instead, much to her horror. And after an awkward minute of panic she also reveals more than what she was intending to bargain for. Oddly enough, the goddess reveals her true nature right off the bat and Kogane takes it in stride just like he did with the whole Canon!Alien issue. Usually she keeps her lips smartly sealed but.... right now? She's doesn't have the confidence that comes with her preferred, perfect yet almost plastic form. She's disoriented and confused and homesick and a little fucked up in the head right now.

Kogane helps her through it. And with him guiding her, she discovers new things about herself, and is reminded of the better parts of who she is and who she could potentially become.

To no ones surprise, they fall in love. And to Krolia's surprise, she ends up WANTING to stay, even -ESPECIALLY- after giving birth to this man's child. His son. Her son.

Their son.

But monsters from Tartarus have always lied in wait. She leaves just like in Canon. Because of one too many close shaves with beasts and traitorous gods alike trying to snatch away her new found happiness and self discovery. She leaves to protect the person she loves most.

Their son. Keith.

((Again I'm on a tight schedule (needing two jobs sucks sometimes) so I'll wrap this up and talk about Keith))

Now you may want to ask why I chose Aphrodite? Why didn't I choose Hades to be Keith's godly parent? It would have matched his basic demeanor, the basis to his character - the loner (also awesome undead powers would've have been a plus!!). Why didn't I chose Ares? Keith is a phenomenal fighter! Why not Zeus? His fighter pilot skills makes him second to none in the skies!!!

My answer is this: Keith has an unfathomable AMAZING capacity to love.

Think about it. Remember that the reason that he rejects people is because he knows just how much he's risking when he's putting his heart into someone's hands. You only see that in a person who's had their heart torn to pieces by the unspoken consequences of abandonment.

Finally, Look at what this guy has done for a dying man. IN CANON TO BOOT.

Look at what he's done for Shiro even back before his feelings evolved into what can be interpreted as romantic, when his relationship with the man was purely platonic in a mentor/student dynamic level. He SUPPORTS Shiro. He doesn't pity him. He doesn't coddle him. He doesn't look at the fact that Shiro most likely has only a few more years left in him before his body breaks down. He sees his friend that has every right to pursue his dream instead of wasting away on a military base that cares more for its fucking reputation than it's actual students (I resent the Garrison for lying about the mission, make no mistake. THEY EVEN TOOK THE SIDE OF THAT SHITTY BRAT WHO MADE SNIDE REMARKS ON KEITH PARENTS!!! WTF?!!).

This is the man that's promised to never give up on him. The one who reminded Keith that, most of all, he can't give up on himself. And Keith? My Defensive, prickly, hold-everyone-at-arms-length son? What does my firecracker boi do?

He takes it to heart. He fucking takes it to heart.

Now fast forward again - we have Keith beautifully beating the crap out of Iverson and other "high ranking" officials who essentially now see Shiro as a liability, as someone who cannot be let free with his new found knowledge on extraterrestrial life. We have him basically breaking multiple laws to get Shiro out and onto to his bike so he could drive them and their Tagalongs to safety. We have Keith running to Shiro AGAIN AND AGAIN. It doesn't matter who stands in his way - Zarkon could suck on a lemon and those wild beasts on that remote planet in 'Across the Universe'? They can Quiznak right off because He will never give up on Shiro. Enough said.

And one last thought. I'm sure you guys have seen the leaked scenes of Keith staying by Shiro's side while he's in the healing pod, his vitals showing that his conscious is not assimilating with Kuron's body. I'm sure you've seen how Keith pleaded with Allura to think of a way to help them. You probably heard Allura regretfully admit that there wasn't anything she could do to help anymore than she already had. You saw Keith in his disbelief, in his grief. You saw him slam his fist onto the healing pod, head hung low wand pleading to the man within to fight. To stay.

"You can't do this to me again"

And miraculously, Shiro wakes.

I didn't plan on giving Keith Charmspeak. I only planned on giving him an IMMUNITY towards other Charmspeakers. And even now I still stand by my decision on NOT giving him such a power. Because it makes this scene, when adapted into my AU, have THAT much more significance. He didn't need any godly gifts to bring back the man he loves, his own voice, rough and raw and full of desperation.... it was enough. It was MORE than enough.

"Keith you saved me." "We saved eachother"

[toadpeee]

Have you read the Burning Maze or any of the Apollo books? What are your thoughts about it?

I haven’t read the burning maze, but I’ve read a basic synopsis (so I know all the spoilers, including THAt one)

I also haven’t read the book prior, but I did read The Hidden Oracle

As for my thoughts, if you hadn’t already guessed.. the first book didn’t amaze me enough to keep reading the series 😬

Long answer: love the Riordan-verse, but having Apollo as a main character kinda just.. idk took away from some of my favorite elements about the PJO universe as a whole. There was always something magical (at least, when I was a kid first reading these books) about the fact that all the heroes were pretty normal kids and teenagers (besides that they’re half god lol).

Why I’m not reading this series: 1. I’m not a huge fan of the trope that’s like, as a series gets longer and longer, the powerful entity’s are slowly dumbed down to where their power doesn’t have much effect or impact anymore (In this case, a god being turned human). It just makes the gods seem that less of a… hmm, divine force? Which isn’t always a bad thing, you wouldn’t want them to be these flat, static characters, but still. It just makes.. like fighting a god or a titan that less epic, if by one flick of the wrist via Zeus, they can be turned human (and yeah I know this is actually something that happens in a myth.., doesn’t mean I like it tho, story wise)

2. I don’t care for Leo and Calypso (as a pair that is), so when I heard they were the book 2 features, again, didn’t excite me. I also wish Rick would’ve enforced more consequence, and had Leo stay dead? His big “sacrifice” was very artificial and un-emotional (but then again.. a lot of the things in Blood of Olympus were left to be desired.. but that’s another can of worms)

3. Beating the dead horse. I’m a slut for the PJO universe, and always will be. But there comes a point when the narrative starts to become stretched thin. I just feel like.. there were other, better ways rick could’ve expanded his universe.. such as,

- focusing more on the other story’s he’s added like Magnus Chase and Kane Chronicles.. he’s barely scratched the surface their with 3 books a piece.. not to mention the fact that these take place within the canon universe of the Greek and Roman books

-piggybacking off the previous point… I would love love LOVE to see all these mythological narratives team up and form one, big, divine narrative. An end it all sort of thing. It’d be a challenge, but gods can you Imagine? An all out heaven and earth war between all ricks established mythology’s? Oof. One can dream…

- prequels. Like, honestly? I’d BEG for a prequel that follows the demigod/mythological history that supposedly went down in WW2 (although I can see where rick might run into trouble applying his kids based series to such serious topics.. and real tragedy’s). But he’s the one who said WW2 involved the Big 3’s sons in the first place.. you can’t expect me to not be curious. If not that, you know I’d love a revolutionary was era Demigod prequel. How did the gods move to America? We’re they divided during the revolution??

This is getting long so I’ll try to wrap it up and end with the things I liked about the series,

Things I like: (SPOILERS for Burning Maze)-the Roman emperors plot line. New and unlike what he’s done before - Rick acknowledging Jasiper as a relationship built on circumstance.. and them falling out in a natural, realistic way- letting Percy take a backseat.. I love my boy, and as much as my heart wants him to be the main focus character forever…, it’s good for Rick to sideline him and let him breath for once

And uuuuh.. I guess I don’t really know enough about the rest of the series to say anymore, I haven’t read most of it after all ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I’m still paying attention, and am keeping up with what’s happening, but as they stand, I won’t be reading these books anytime soon., (maybe sometime in the future) I’m curious as to where this serious ends up (and I still lowkey have my fingers crossed for that epic mythological showdown) I could go on even further and delve into Ricks anticlimactic ending to HoO, and how that had a bad setup for ToA, and if he’d treated the climax better maybe things would’ve worked better blah blah. Another time perhaps.

Short answer: Nope ;)

[unfolded73]

A Sad, Sad Place Without You (1/1)

An unashamedly Daddy!Killian fic, ~1750 words, rated G: Emma and Killian’s daughter learns that her father died, and has some questions.

I know, Sunday morning is the worst time to post fic. And this is more suitable for Father’s Day than Mother’s Day. But I figured I’d fling this fic out into the world before the existence of Maureen Swan-Jones gets jossed in canon. Also figuring anyone on tumblr today probably needs some CS happy ending stuff in their lives right about now.

The first sign that something was wrong was the way Maureen launched herself into Killian’s arms when he picked her up from school. Not that she wasn’t an affectionate child, she was, but she was usually too distracted by tales of her day in first grade to concern herself with things like hugs for her father. She would skip down the street half a block ahead of him as he walked her home, pausing every now and then to tell him about a happening at school or to pepper him with questions. But today, she walked quietly at his side, her hand holding tightly to his.

The second sign was when he opened her lunch box to find most of her lunch uneaten, her ham sandwich flattened, but otherwise untouched.

“Maureen, why don’t you come here and eat the sandwich you didn’t eat for lunch, hmm?”

She looked up from where she was sprawled out on the living room floor, drawing a picture. “Not hungry, Daddy.”

He approached her. “But you barely ate anything today.”

She shrugged, not meeting his eyes.

Kneeling down, Killian pressed his hand against her forehead. “Are you feeling unwell?”

“No, Daddy.” There was a slight tremble in her voice, and it set off alarm bells for Killian. Maureen could be a surprisingly guarded child when something was worrying her; she was very like her mother in that way.

“Come here, love.” He took her hand and gently pulled her up from the floor, guiding her over to the sofa. Once he had her sitting securely on his lap, he looked into her face. “Tell me what happened at school to make you so glum.”

“Darcy was telling lies,” she said, tucking her head up under his chin.

Killian rolled his eyes. Darcy was a little girl in her class who for whatever reason, seemed to be Maureen’s nemesis, if a six-year-old child could have a nemesis. This wasn’t the first time that she had come home with stories of the transgressions of Darcy, but it was the first time she had seemed so affected by them.

“What lies, sweetness?” He shifted slightly so that her bottom didn’t cut off the circulation in his leg quite so effectively, his hand rubbing her back.

“Darcy said her mom said you were dead an’ then came back alive. But I know that’s not true ‘cause when you’re dead you’re gone forever. Neal said so.”

Killian grimaced, unsure of where to start with any of this. Instead of getting to the heart of the issue, he skirted around it.

“When did Neal say so?”

“When Charlotte died, ‘member?”

Charlotte was her uncle Neal’s guinea pig, and Killian did remember there had been a bit of family tragedy in the Charming household last year when Neal awoke one day to find Charlotte stiff and cold. Maureen had taken it hard when they’d gone over for dinner to find that the guinea pig was no longer in residence, and Emma and Snow had comforted her over it. He wished that he’d paid more attention to what they had said at the time.

Killian sighed, wishing that Emma was home and could help him navigate these choppy seas. “It is almost always true that when someone dies, they’re gone from this world forever. But it’s not a lie, what Darcy said. A long time ago, before you were born, I did die, but I was brought back to life.”

Maureen jerked away from him, looking up into his eyes. Her expression was hard to read. “How did you die?”

He thought furiously, knowing Maureen wasn’t ready for the whole story of what had happened that year. “There was a… dark magic that was threatening Storybrooke. And I made a mistake, and I made things worse, and everyone we love was in danger because of it. But I knew that if I sacrificed my life, Mommy and Henry and Grandma and Grandpa and everyone else would be safe. So that’s what I did.”

“Why did you have to do it? Why couldn’t Mommy an’ Regina fight it with magic?”

He smiled. He knew that a lot of Maureen’s sense of safety in this town came from the fervent belief that her mother’s magic, especially when combined with the magic of Aunt Regina, could do anything. The last thing he wanted to do was to shake that security. “This was a special dark magic that only I could stop, because… because it was partly my fault that it was here. Because I made a mistake.”

“What did you do?”

Killian pulled his daughter into his chest for another hug. He couldn’t explain to her about being a Dark One, could he? That would be way too scary for her to deal with, the idea that both of her parents had been tied to that darkness, however briefly. But he didn’t see any way around at least hinting at it.  “There was a time when a darkness threatened the town, and the only way for your mommy to stop it was to take some of that darkness inside her.”

“Because she’s the Savior.”

“Exactly. And your mommy is so strong that even though she had that dark magic in her, she fought it. She held that darkness off, and was still so full of light…” He swallowed against a sudden lump in his throat. He hadn’t thought of Camelot for a long time. “She was so full of light that I fell even more in love with her than I already was. That was when I started to think that we should get married, your mother and me, although I didn’t say anything to her yet.”

Maureen loved hearing the story of their wedding, but he could tell by the stubborn set of her jaw that she wasn’t going to be distracted from the important part of this story. “Then what happened?” she asked.

“We had a battle, and I got cut with a magic sword.”

Maureen squirmed on his lap, practically vibrating with curiosity at the mention of a magic sword. “What kind of magic sword?”

“It was a bad sword, filled with very dark magic. And a wound from this sword would never heal. I was going to die.” He rubbed her back again, hoping he wasn’t making a terrible mistake in relaying this tale. “So your mommy saved me from dying the only way she could; by putting some of the darkness that she carried into me as well.”

Maureen’s eyes were very wide. “Then what did you do?”

“Well, I’m not strong like your mommy.”

“That’s not true,” Maureen protested.

“I wasn’t strong enough not to listen to the darkness, and I did something that threatened our family. But in the end, I made a right choice, and I got the darkness out of both of us. It was just that I had to die so that everyone else could be safe.”

“Why didn’t you stay dead?”

Killian breathed a sigh of relief at having gotten past the worst part of the story. “Because your mother loved me so much that she came down into the Underworld to get me out.”

“So when someone dies, we can go get them and bring them back?”

Shit. “No, love. It was very dangerous what she did, and moreover it didn’t really work. She had to leave the Underworld without me.”

Maureen looked at him with a skeptical expression that said, well, clearly not.

“We thought that was the end of the story, but it wasn’t. Because Mommy had another battle to face: a battle against Hades, who ruled the Underworld. He had escaped, and while your mother was fighting him up here in Storybrooke, I was helping her find the weapon she needed from down in the Underworld. Because even though we were separated by death, true love kept us connected.”

“Mommy won?”

“Yes, with the help of our family and friends, she won. And even that wasn’t the end of the story, as it turned out, because I was visited by Zeus, who rules all the gods. He told me he was going to send me where I belonged, and the next thing I knew…” Killian closed his eyes, the memory of seeing Emma running toward him in that graveyard suddenly flashing in his mind. “The next thing I knew, I was back here with our family. Alive.” He picked up her small hand and pressed it against the pulse point in his neck. “Feel that? That’s my heartbeat, just like the one you have.” Maureen mashed her fingers against his neck, feeling his heartbeat for a moment, then moved her fingers to touch her neck, feeling for her own pulse.

“Gods can make someone alive again?” she asked.

“I guess they can sometimes, but they almost never do.” He hugged her tight against his chest. “Do you know what I think?”

“What?”

“I think that the gods knew that Maureen Swan-Jones needed to exist in the world, and that bringing me back to life was the only way to make that happen.” He kissed the top of her head, her brown curls soft against his lips. “They sent me back in order to create you, because they knew that the world would be a sad, sad place without you in it.”

She accepted that statement as fact the way only a small child would.

“Was Mommy sad when you were dead?”

“Yes, love, she was very sad. But she was also stubborn, and determined to save me.” Even after all these years, he still marveled at Emma’s strength of will, and that she had considered him worthy of such efforts.

Maureen looked up, her eyes narrowing. “You say I’m stubborn, but like it’s bad.”

Killian laughed. “When you refuse to eat your spinach, I would wish that you were less stubborn, to be sure. But when you grow up, if you turn that stubbornness on someone who is threatening the people you love, then I’ll be proud.”

“Just like Mommy,” she said, nodding firmly.

“Exactly so.”

“Daddy?” She wiggled off of his lap. “Can I have a snack?”

Killian raised an eyebrow. “You can have the sandwich that you left in your lunchbox.”

Maureen frowned. “I don’t want that, I want a snack.”

Rolling his eyes, he stood up. “Come, my stubborn lass. Let us see if we can reach some kind of accord on this field of battle.” Taking her small hand in his, he led her into the kitchen.

[cosmiciaria]

Persona 3 PS2 and PSP consoles Review! (Spoiler free)

Persona 3 may very well be my favorite game on Earth, so this review is going to be nothing but PRAISE (except for one tiny complaint I have). But, hey, you may question, which Persona 3 is your favorite? Because, we have, like, two Persona 3. And that's right, folks: the original Persona 3 for the PS2 (and its expansion, FES), and the Persona 3 Portable for the PSP, released about four years later and after Persona 4 (and I say all this because the portable version adds MANY changes that were introduced in P4). I've played both, and now I'll elaborate on which I believe is the best version of the game and why.

But first, let's talk about Persona series for a bit. It's a spin off titles series from the main Shin Megami Tensei franchise, you know, those RPGS that are hard as hell, and whose normal mode is actually hard mode on every other game, and whose hard mode is actually chaos mode on every other game, and you get to negotiate with demons and recruit them into your party and… yeah, yeah, those games! Well, guess what: in Persona games, you don't fight demons, you fight shadows, and the demons you used to negotiate with in the SMT games, are now summons that you, Almighty High-Schooler Speshual Snowflake Main Character, can bring forth to fight evil and stuff. Pretty amazing, tho!

Persona 3 may be the darkest of the Persona Series. I can't personally speak for the first two Personas (I've read Persona: Revelations manga, to see where it all began, and tried to play Persona 2, but… don't kill me… I didn't… like the gameplay much… and the random encounters… and… well, you get me… although I know what happens at the end). Characters here must shoot their heads with a gun-like tool to summon their Personas, as if they have to break something inside of them to call them forth. People can transform into shadows, in a very, very gross way. The game revolves around 'death', and it's a tragedy after a tragedy after a tragedy. Not even the shiest and most sunshine character has a happy backstory. It's all about tears, sacrifice and effort. AND THAT'S AWESOME!

So, the story remains largely the same among the two versions of the game. However (and this is a big 'however') there are BIG changes from P3 FES to P3P.

In the original Persona 3 and its expansion for the PS2, you can only play as the Male Protagonist. People have been calling him Minato Arisato (like in the manga), but with the arrival of the movies, his name has shifted to Makoto Yuki, and I'll call him Makoto from now on in order to differentiate him more easily from the other Main Protagonist I'll speak in a second about.

So, Makoto's story is the canon one.  He's the one appearing in the Labyrithin… Q… or… however that game's name is written, for the 3DS, a crossover between Persona 3 and Persona 4. He's also the character referenced in Persona 4 Arena and Arena Ultimax (you know, when P3 characters say things like 'you remind me of him…'). He's the guy in the movies, yes, the boy with blue hair and lost light blue eyes. He's kinda the silent protagonist we're used to in SMT games, the cool and collected character, who everyone loves and you don't know why, because he barely opens his mouth throughout the story… hey, I'm not hating on him. In fact, I enjoyed playing as him: he's the noble type, the one who would go all out to save others. I did like him better in the movies, I won't lie: they made him funnier there, somehow aloof but in a hilarious way, and he even laughs, which made me go like 'woah, wait'.

I did have a problem with him, and it's that I've played the original version of the game after finishing the P3P version. And I found myself angry. You know, in Persona games, there's this mechanic called 'Social Links' (Cooperation I think they're called in Persona 5, and in Persona 2 they were just conversations during battles), which is a big aspect of the gameplay. They're events you can have with certain characters, with whom you can build a relationship: a friendly one, or a romantic one. It turns out, I didn't enjoy Makoto's Social Links at all. Except for the one with Mitsuru (NOTICE ME SENPAI), the other Social Links felt pointless, and added little to no character development for the characters we did have genuine interest for. The thing is that these Social Links work also as a love mechanic thing, similar to light novels in Japan, and Makoto could only have Social Links with her female party members, and Atlus forgot about the male party members that, you know, ARE IMPORTANT TO THE STORY AS WELL AND NEED CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT TOO!!

Aside from the Social Link's troubles, the PS2 version of the game is harder. Harder in the 'I won't make it easy for you, player' way. I'm not talking about difficulties, I'm talking about the aspects of the dungeon crawling. Tartarus is your main tower dungeon and the only place in which you'll fight shadows, and it has over 250 floors. The game won't remember the last floor in which you've trained, so the only way of advancing through the tower is accessing and activating the big teleport points (THE BIG ONES, NOT THE SMALL ONES) that are scattered every ten or twelve floors, and that precede the mini floor boss. You'll say: hey, it's fine, I can do ten floors each night I go to Tartatus, but you know what? Your characters can get easily tired, and they won't fight as good as you'd like to, and if you go back to the first floor to replenish your health and spirit points, they will leave your party because you're a bastard who has overdone them, poor little souls! So, if you were expecting to completely grind ten floors each night, you're gonna have a bad time. The best strategy is to avoid shadow-contact for as many floors as you can (that involves running around looking for the staircase to go up in a maze without touching a single shadow) and once Fuuka tells you that you're about to arrive to a big force or whatever the hell she senses, start training: it means the big teleport thing is just two or three floors above you. That was how I got through the freaking Tower of Demise, f*ck it.

But that's not just it! In the PS2 version you can't control your party members, you just control Makoto. You can give them orders though: to heal/support, to go all out without minding their health, to wait because sometimes they're useless as hell or won't help you defeat the monster… but it's still very random. When you give them the order to heal, you have to pray to Zeus that they heal the character you're expecting to be healed. Sometimes they'd heal one of them instead of Makoto, and guess what, Makoto's the one who has to survive, because when he dies, YES, it's game over! But maybe they thought that saving Junpei was more important! AREN'T VIDEOGAMES FUN?

The same goes for any other order. You hope they use magic, but instead they go for melee attacks and that kind of stuff. It can get really frustrating, but it's also really strategic: you have to make the most of every order you give, and also hope that Makoto doesn't fall or gets hit by his weakness, because that's a wasted turn in which the other characters will go on with the previous orders given that may be not useful anymore.

Speaking of wasted turns… yes, characters can fall by getting hit by their weaknesses or by a critical hit, and you'll have to wait one turn for them to stand up again and be useful, that if they don't fall AGAIN. Fun, fun, fun.

All of these ‘bad’ (let’s just say that they are uncomfortable) features… are not present in the Portable version. They took the best things they could get from Persona 4 and dumped them into this new version of the game: you are now in full control of your characters; you can still give them orders, but you can give also the 'direct commands', which lets you play as them. Tartarus now remembers the last floor you've been to, so it's not a fight against time and the tiredness of your characters anymore. They no longer waste a turn when they fall: as soon as you regain control of them, they stand up and are ready to fight. The 'tired' status doesn't affect them much anymore: they can only get tired once you leave Tartarus, so you can train all you want and screw their bodies out of them, because you're the leader and you can choose when to leave the dungeon, motherfrickers! The only drawback is that your health and spirits points won't replenish if you go back to the first floor, but I believe it's a small price to pay.

So, now, I'm done with complaining about poor blue Makoto. It's not his fault that his Social Links are dull (most of them, others are… quite interesting if you know what I mean), and that his gameplay in the PS2 version hates on the player. It's time to introduce the other Main Protagonist, who appears in the Portable version: the Female Protagonist.

The Fem Prot was given also two names: the first one was Hamuko, which I believe derives from the Japanese and it has something to do with the word 'female'. But if you don't quite dig that name, she's been also called Minako Arisato by fans, the counterpart of Makoto's manga name. I'm going for Minako here, because that was the first name I saw of her and I kinda like it more than Hamuko.

Minako’s story is not canonical, and that hits me right my heart, because many, MANY things were done better in her playthrough. The game story remains the same: a bunch of high-schoolers must go every night to Tartarus to wipe out the world from the shadows menace, yadda, yadda, yadda… but it's her Social Links that make the difference. Now that we have a female protagonist, Atlus remembered that the party had also male members and… yes! We get to go on a date with Akihiko Sanada! 10/10 recommend love the game see ya.

Alright, let's be serious: I don't know why Makoto didn't get Social Links with the male party members, like they did with Yu Narukami in Persona 4. It helps the player to connect with the characters, to learn from them, to love them. But it just didn't happen with Makoto, and it's a shame. They did do it with Minako, though, and it was perfect, even if you don't plan on romanticize their relationships. It adds a lot of depth to characters that deserved it: Akihiko, Ken, Shinjiro, Junpei. Don't tell me that everything that happened later with these dorks didn't have more impact hadn't it been for these Social Links. I just love the friendship between Minako and Junpei, that brother/sister kind of thing. It made me want to have Junpei as a friend, whereas in Makoto's story, Junpei came across as this stupid boy who can't tell an apple from a strawberry. And ALSO, ALSOOO you can now have an SL with Koromaru, the best dog in the whole damn universe!!! WITH A DOG!!! YOU CAN BE FRIENDS WITH A DOG, HOW COOL AND CUTE IS THAT FOR F*CK’S SAKE? TAKE THAT, MAKOTO! 

There's also a certain Social Link (I won't spoil it for you) that you MUST do at all costs because it adds SO MUCH to the story in general, and makes everything, EVERYTHING ten times sadder. UGH, I can't believe they didn't put this SL in Makoto's storyline!!

So, it's true! Minako's story is better! It's better presented, it was better implemented, and gameplay wise, it's as cool as it gets. So, yeah. Persona 3 Portable with the Female Protagonist is my favorite game in the world. The ending is so much more impactful with her than with him, and I spent the last hour of the game crying my heart out because everything was so unfair and I felt empty inside. And the music… the music is majestic. I still listen to Memories of You and I get goosebumps, and don't get me started with Memories of School or The Poem for Everyone's Souls… oh, my, is that something in my eye…?

You can still play as Makoto in the Portable version, but I highly recommend that, if you've already play the original game, you should give Minako a shot. It will give you new a perspective on things, and it will add many plot points you'll be glad to have known. Even though her story is not canonical *cries in a corner*. Just look at Akihiko, look at the handsome guy, and everything will be ok.

I would've given P3P a 10 out of 10, had it not been for one tiny thing towards the end of the game. In the Persona Series, you accompany your character during a whole year. Well, during December in this game (both PS2 and Portable versions), there's nothing to do. No Social Links, no people, no activities, no missions, no Tartarus. It's just you leaving school for you dorm and getting back to sleep and do everything all over again the next day, for many days. It's annoying, it's repetitive, it feels like you're wasting time, PRECIOUS time, because everything in this game is about time and days, and you feel betrayed by the gameplay. But that's just it.

So, what's the best version? Let me summarize for ya:

Ps2 version: original experience, only male protagonist, mostly uninteresting or little impactful Social Links, pretty decent ending, gameplay annoying/strategic af. You also get to play in 3D environments, which is the reason why many people feel put off by the other version.

Portable version: improved experience, male and female protagonist, fem's Social Links quite interesting and meaningful, 'I got an RPG freaking sad ending in my eye' type of ending, gameplay improved for more enjoyment and less whining, more difficulties levels to choose from. BUT, everything's on a 2D environment, like light novels. Characters appear as portraits instead of 3D models, except for Tartarus, which is the only place where you'll see your characters in a poor 3D, due to hardware limitations.

So there you have it. Choose what you like the most. You can always play both versions and have your own opinion of it. In any way, Persona 3 is a great, great game, with great ideas, great gameplay and great and relatable characters. And with the best soundtrack in the world. And you get to summon a f*cking giant penis with an OP spell, guys, just name another game that lets you do that. 

So it should be a 9 out of 10 for the Portable version, and a 7 out of 10 for the PS2 version. Go check this game out (if you haven't yet) before Persona 5 arrives! It’s a meaningful experience, and I hope it changes your perspective of RPGS, like it did for me.