#him and medic go bird watching and medic gets pissed because there are No birds out

[rowrowronnie]

hiking time!!

[downundergarfield]

hi!! may I please get the support class + heavy with a reader who is VERY ANGRY? like they are very mad. >:(

Ayo hi mate ofc ill try.

So.

Support class and Heavy with a really pissed of NB!Reader

Sorry, there won't be the Medic here, because I don't know how to write about him. Always.

Heavy 🐻

> He is surprised to see you so angry because he has never seen you like this.

> “How such small person contain so much anger?” He jokes, stroking your back with his big hand.

> He takes you out for tea and sandwiches and helps you blow off some steam. If you don't have enough of this, you go punching bags together.

Sniper 🏹

> Mick flinches when you hit the wall next to you. it woke him up.

> "Wha' happened mate?" He asks you, seeing that you are furious. After listening to you, he smiles a little on the edge of his lips, inviting you to come with him.

> He takes you to the forest, and you feel a little better from contemplating the forest, the birds singing and watching the animals. If that's not enough, you target practice together by shooting glass bottles.

Spy 🍷

> He realizes that you need help when he hears the door to his smoking room slam shut loudly and hears your angry breath behind him.

> He pours you some wine and listens carefully to your experiences, putting the newspaper aside. He doesn’t interrupt and blinks languidly.

> Quiet classical music and a little wine or tobacco help you relax. You are lounging in a chair in front of the fireplace, enjoying the crackling of the logs.

[gallusrostromegalus]

Who has the best relationship with their zanpakutou? Who has the worst? Does anyone have a Beyond Friendship relationship? As in not only romantic or sexual, but something more sibling-like, or perhaps parental in either direction?

Hmmm... I wouldn't have a "best" relationship because there's many, many ways to do a relationship right, but definitely the worst is Mayuri, because Jizo is his parole officer that he kidnapped when he broke out of Hell and BOY HOWDY DOES THAT COME TO BITE HIM IN THE ASS.

As for "beyond friendship", most of them are in the sense that once you've fought and nearly died with someone by your side, "friends" is quite the right description. But to cite a few examples:

Yamamoto and Ryujin Jakka straddle the line between D&D warlock, and D&D paladin - Ryujin chose Yamamoto, amd for a long, long time Yamamoto did not understand WHY. Things got better and worse when he finally grokked why the spirit of change wanted to be wielded by the guy to whom the responsibility of founding civilization.

Rangiku Matsumoto is a strange and very private woman despite the act she puts on, and Haineko is one of exactly two people in the whole world who really understands her. On the other hand, nobody can piss you off quite like someone who really, truly knows you.

Probably the closest relationship is between Unohana and Minazuki. They've been partners for over a millennium, they laid waste to many enemies together, nearly died together several times, went to medical school together and even shared lovers. Where Unohana's soul ends and Minazuki's begins is... Unclear. There are days when they wake up and it's Minazuki weilding their body and Unohana in the scabbard, as it were. This is largely a non-issue; Minazuki is a doctor too.

Hyorinmaru is practically the Deuteronomy of zanpaktou- he's an ancient sword who has had many wielders. It's a lot of pressure for Toshiro, but hyorinmaru also has a lot of practice at this, and the relationship between them is not unlike a doting grandfather and his beloved and dutiful grandson.

Suzembachi is Soi Fon's Emotional Support Giant Murder Hornet and BY GOD the girl needs all the help she can get.

It took FOREVER to figure out what the hell was going on with Kenpachi, because while theoretically possible, it hadn't actually happened before- Zaraki Kenpachi is a Tsukumogami that died in the living world, and reincarnated as a human in spirit world.

SPECIFICALLY, he was a Holy Sword that had been around for 500 years* seen much battle and developed a revered soul before [REDACTED] and he asked to be ritually destroyed. He reincarnated in the spirit world in the best of one of the Great Eagles, but fortunately for him, all birds are a little bit stupid even if they're also technically Gods, and since the infant was the same size, shape and furiously screaming as he chicks, She Who Rules The Sky decided to just start shoving meat into his mouth too. Sometime after he grew up and his sisters had fleged, he left the nest to travel and hang out with his fellow humans, and eventually decided to give himself a name and raise a daughter, as humans do. They wandered around for many years as humans do, until circumstances resulted in his violent arrival to the court guard.

While off, none of this specifically worried Yamamoto until hyorinmaru was talking to him one day.

"...what do you think Zaraki is becoming?" The dragon asked him one afternoon while they watched Toshiro practice spar with Sasikibe.

"Becoming?" Yamamoto shrugged. "With the damn central 46 banning him from learning Kendo, he's becoming a Damn Nuisance."

Hyorinmaru sighs, a noise like a dam threatening to fail. "You did not notice? Zaraki has spent 500 years as a sword, 500 as an eagle or suchlike beast, and after he named himself and Yachiru, he spent 500 years as a man. And THEN he turned up here."

"I suppose, what of it?" Yamamoto shrugged, watching Toshiro's footing.

"With all due respect to the wielder of fire, when I was a worm, I spent 500 years on land, and then 500 years at sea, and then *I* became a DRAGON, sir." Hyorinmaru explained.

Yamamoto did not actually move, but he was no longer watching the boy.

"-with 500 years each as object, animal and man, Kenpachi surely has become SOMETHING. What is running lose through your court guard, I wonder?"

[mintartem]

hey, hey! Me again. The one who cursed you for blessing me with two new ships lol

Anywho, since you mentioned it, art of Adam x the other angels? Raphael, Gabriel, Azriel, Sariel, all of 'em!

Would love to see art/ designs, but I can settle for hcs lol

I was going to make this into art but I’ve been busy. I hope you don’t mind headcanons and my portrayal of them instead. (I will draw them and ship them with Adam eventually)

I can’t write ALL of the angels (there’s like 50+ of them and that’s not including the fallen) I’m going to focus on the 7 heavenly virtues first (excluding Michael so 6 of the 7).

Please note all of these are for the Hazbin Hotel fandom and not an actual Bible lore or theology. Although some info here are based on theology.

Gabriel (Seraph) - Diligence

He is an energetic, loud, bubbly, and trustworthy angel who is loved and respected by all. But he is scary when he is angry or pissed off

It’s not easy to piss him off but if you did, it means you’ve done something absolutely horrendous in his eyes

He enjoys watching souls get their deserved justice or punishment

Since his heavenly virtue is diligence, he is the fastest angel to finish his work. But at the same time, he also has a lot on his plate. He values breaks in-between working.

Flirts with Adam and loves to get in his personal space (Adam doesn’t mind and lets him)

He trusts Michael the most

The only beings he follows/listens to are Michael and God

He wonders why he was chosen to be God’s right hand when the position should be Michael’s (in his eyes)

He enjoys his job of delivering messages

Has the best stamina and endurance among the angels

He has a sweet tooth

Like all other angels, he is proficient in playing multiple instruments. But his most favorite instrument to play is the trumpet.

The third brother

He [will be] against Charlie’s plan of redemption

Raphael (Seraph) - Humility

He is a calm, collected, and gentle angel who wants the best for everyone and heal them as much as he can.

He wouldn’t hesitate to scare off souls with medical threats if it means it’ll help them heal

He is a pacifist

As the heavenly virtue of humility, despite his high position and rank, he doesn’t see himself better than others and chose to ground himself (which is confusing for other angels)

As the angel of healing, he heals not just physical pain, but also emotional, mental, spiritual, etc. health.

When it comes for mental health, he does need a winner’s help since he is an angel and can’t understand human thought process that well

Surprisingly, he prefers spicy food

Like all other angels, he is proficient in playing multiple instruments. His most favorite instrument is the lyre.

He [will not be] against Charlie’s plan for redemption, but wouldn’t support it either.

The youngest among the four brothers

The tallest among the brothers

He and Gabriel tease Michael because of his crush on Adam

Also in love with Adam and loves watching Adam tend to his garden

He loves herbs, poisons, and other medical things (that includes snakes)

He is fascinated by human biology and anatomy. Adam is the usual target of this fascination

Has a doctor’s (terrible) handwriting

He is the most mature out of all the brothers

Has a sadistic side

Leader of the virtues

Azrael (Archangel) - Patience

When Adam met him in Eden, the impression he got from him was that he is a shy and quiet angel.

Azrael is a flirty and playful, but kind angel that enjoys the company of his fellow archangels

He loves the nature noises (such as chirping birds, cricket noises, swaying leaves)

He is mostly remembered for his wings. Angels and winners alike describe his wings as “so black that it’s like darkness itself created a solid form to serve as his wings”

He is respected even by the Seraphim for his duty

Originally, Samael was the angel of death. The title was given to Michael, who then gave it to Azrael

He is most known for taking the souls of “The Death of the First Born” plague in Egypt. He does not like being known for it though.

He created the Grim Reapers to help him with his duties.

He once offered Abel to be his first Grim Reaper. Abel declined.

Platonically flirts with Abel. Cain does not like it (he thinks its romantic)

Romantically flirts with Adam. Cain also does not like it

Cain does not like him in general. Azrael think its because Abel sees him as an older brother. (He’s right)

Despite being younger than Michael, Lucifer, and Gabriel, they see him as an older brother figure

The only angel who is allowed to enter Hell and Heaven without permission, paperworks, etc. (This is because some depictions portray him as the one who leads souls to heaven or hell)

Doesn’t care about Charlie’s plan for redemption.

The elders are wary of him

He kept Abel’s soul until Adam died and went to heaven.

He is the one Adam first saw when he died so, like Abel, Adam has an attachment to him

Uriel (Seraph) - Chastity

He is a quiet, serious, scholarly angel with an aloof and unreadable expression.

Contrary to his serious appearance, Uriel enjoys teaching angels and winners.

He is loved by his students. Outlookers would wonder why, but his students know what type of angel he really is

He loves dark chocolates. His students are the only ones who know. He receives a lot of dark chocolate every Teacher’s Day

He tends to question anything and everything for knowledge’s sake

[will] support Charlie if she can defend her redemption project (like a research/thesis defence)

He witness Adam’s creation and grew attached to him

He guarded Eden’s gate with a flaming sword. Currently, he hid away his flaming sword only to be used if Lucifer or anything evil decides to attack Heaven

He was Adam’s teacher when he got to Heaven. Uriel taught him about Heaven, heavenly duties etc.

He doesn’t hate Lucifer per say, but he is extremely disappointed.

He enjoyed watching humanity (especially Adam) discover things. Currently, his focus are now the winners, angels, and heaven borns

He enjoys reading about human philosophers and their philosophies (both east and west)

Loves playing chess against Adam

He is the one who provides strategies to Michael and is the one who helps plan training activities

“My house is not a mess. It’s an organised chaos”

He has his moments where angels cannot tell if he is being smart or lazy.

He is great at multi-tasking

On purposely uses scientific terms to annoy Gabriel and Lucifer. He does know how to “dumb it down a notch” according to Lucifer.

Cannot be wavered once he is focus on something/s

Cassiel (Archangel) - Temperance

He is an empathic, sensitive angel who wants to enjoy Heavenly life with his fellow angels, heaven-born, and winners

When Eden was created, he wanted to visit but he was forbidden to do so. Unlike Lucifer, he controlled himself and decided not to do so

He is the fastest angel

He helps Raphael in healing Adam’s emotional health

He has a pet dragon. The dragon likes Adam

He [would be] conflicted in Charlie’s redemption plan

Like all other angels, he is proficient in playing multiple instruments. His favorite instrument is the harp

Remiel/Jeremiel (Archangel) - Kindness

He is a kind, caring, and understanding angel who wishes the best for everyone

As the archangel of hope, Remiel tends to see the best in everyone. But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t see the bad things either

He is an optimist

He is that one angel everyone goes to for comfort

He is usually the voice of reason

Like Cassiel, he also helps Adam in healing his emotional pain

Like all other angels, he is proficient in playing multiple instruments. His favorite instrument is the grand piano

[will] support Charlie’s redemption plan

“Please don’t mistake me as the fallen Ramiel. We’re different”

(I struggled with coming up hc for Remiel and Cassiel)

Bonus - Angels I want to create a character for:

Ariel (Archangel) - self proclaimed “Michael’s girl best friend!” Totally supports Michael and Adam’s relationship. Angry at Lucifer

Jophiel (Archangel) - sees Adam as the most beautiful creation. She hangs with Metatron often. Adam has deep respect for her.

Metatron (Archangel) - Human name: Enoch.

Chazaqiel (Watcher - Fallen) - Sahaquiel’s younger sister

Raguel (Archangel)

Selaphiel/Selathiel (Archangel)

Well this is long so I’ll end it here. I enjoy reading about Theology so this was really fun!

[ibims1seb]

A forever caged bird

The Sypher Trilogy

Tw: mentioned noncon, mentioned punishment, mentioned starving, a hell lot of threatening and fighting, mentioned past abuse, mentioned war, mentioned mass executions, mentioned multiple whumpers, invasion of personal space, blood, a bit of forced to watch (their birds, but intelligent, so I’ll just mention it to be safe), team whump, if there is more, let me know!

Here is the Infopost for Tye Sypher Trilogy and Here you will get to the Masterlist :)

Chapter 0 || prev (this is Chapter 2 for now because I haven’t convinced myself to write chapter 3 yet) || next

Chapter 4

If there was one thing Azriel hated more than Malvik, it would be- no, wait, scratch that, there was nothing in this utterly forsaken world he hated more than Malvik. If there was one thing he hated almost as much as Malvik, it would be Winterson. Sure, the man didn’t start any wars for the hell of it, neither was he a sadistic, arrogant, and corrupt psychopathic dictator that executes at least 27 men and women every month simply because he could, but still. As said, there was nothing he hated more than Malvik, but damn, Pascal wasn’t making it easy to like him!

“So what, one of my people attacked that asshole out of self-defence and you’re just gonna go ahead and punish all of them?!” To say the younger man was pissed was an absolute understatement. The General and he had come to the agreement that his men would do labour and help the troops from the Southern Provinces as best they could for as long as none of them got hurt or treated like less than living, breathing, sentient beings. Now this piece of shit scumbag wants to implement mass punishment for the very well-justified mistake of a single person.

“Why, that is exactly what I’m planning! You’re catching onto me, darlin’.” Azriel hated that stupid accent, and he hated that grin, and the glint of gleeful entertainment he got, not from knowing Soldiers would be hurt, but from knowing he could rile the Strongman’s ex-protégé up so well. Overs forgive him, he *hated* Winterson sometimes! Most times!

“This is ridiculous! I’d understand punishing the woman that punched the bastard, even though I’d still say he fucking deserved it, but no one else did anything wrong! You can’t hurt them simply because you… why are you even doing this?!” Granted, screaming at the man who allows you the very basics more generously than he might have to was not a very clever idea, but fuck it, the Captain felt comfortable doing it! Okay, no, he wasn’t comfortable with how Pascal’s grin faltered slightly into a tiny frown, or how he stepped closer to him so menacingly while showing off his height in all its inhuman glory.

“I’m doing this because I can and have to. We agreed that your… Soldiers were to respect me and my troops as their superiors, and you can’t punch your superiors.” The older stated it so calmly, that it made a chill creep up his spine. How could this man do this?! His Medic punched a lowly Private because he touched her extremely inappropriately, and Winterson was going to punish not only her but his enter commando?! He saw the black feathers of Dextra and Sinistra fluttering with concern as they felt their owner’s growing rage and… hopelessness, but he couldn’t care less right now. They weren’t important right now.

“Hey, if I punched Malvik, you’d give me a fucking medal, how is that different?! He is my superior, technically! The man tried to grope her, why can’t you see the bigger picture here? You can’t punish her for wanting to defend herself, and you can’t punish people who had nothing to do with it! This is completely illogical!” When he felt tiny talons sitting down on his shoulder, he finally glanced at the black-feathered bird, seeing the silent plead to stop this, but he just couldn’t! He shooed Dextra away carefully, before turning back to Winterson, which he greatly regretted almost immediately.

The golden brown eyes held no spark anymore, his ugly smile turned upside down into an even worse scowl and he stood just millimetres away from entering Azriel’s personal space in the worst possible way ever, looking there, over him, like a predator that had been denied food for too long. But a predator of that kind would be desperate, Pascal wasn’t desperate. He was… angry. Utterly frustrated that a Prisoner of War was not only demanding something but questioning and criticising his decisions as a General and leader.

“Are you done, Azzy?” Of course, not even in this situation, he’d care to use his actual name instead of that stupid nickname. “Because I’m getting bored of hearing you screech over something you have no say in. Food rations will get limited and if you continue with his ugly attitude of yours, I’m going to make it a month and not just a week, do you understand?”

Oh, how the Captain hated himself for flinching and backing away ever so slightly without making it too obvious. He knew that it wasn’t even Winterson’s fault or accomplishment, but the years of conditioning and trauma he still hadn’t recovered from after he left the Army of Peace and practically defected. “I-..” did he have something to say? Could he find a rebuttal to get the General to change his mind?

“I’m surprised you didn’t even get it yet, this isn’t about the woman, or your Soldiers, or that scumbag that thought he’d get away with touching a woman like that, this is about you. The Private has been punished and will be sent back to the main base of operations, and now it’s your time to be punished!”

There it was. That one step too close, right into Azriel’s precious personal space. He took a step back as well but was immediately mirrored by the other man until he was backed into not only a literal corner but a metaphorical one as well.

“Did you honestly think I would continue to allow you to treat my patience and good grace as something you deserve? You are a prisoner of war! You are the son, adoptive or not, of the man I and my men fight against! You deserve nothing! And yet, I have been so kind and gave you respect, food, water, accommodation, and dignity! And you still think you can push my boundaries and fight me?!”

A pathetic squeal, almost like a desperate cry for help sounded from his lips when Winterson stepped forward once more and grabbed his hair, yanking him closer. Their faces were close, way too close for a person with claustrophobia and social sensitivity. The General's hot breath burned on the shorter’s cold skin, his golden brown glare piercing through those wide, night sky blue eyes. He stood over him it’s his whole, 6-foot-7-inch might.

“You don’t deserve respect or mercy, yet I gave it to you. You should start feeling grateful every once in a while, or I might mistake you for the bratty traitor you truly are.” Dextra and Sinistra watched with all the horror their intelligent raven brains could muster as their foster father’s head was punched into the stone wall of the office in the heart of the underground military base with one strong, skull-crushing shove. It didn’t crush his skull, luckily, not like that would have done anything anyway, but damn, it still hurt.

Azriel just gave another pathetic whimper as Winterson finally let go of his hair, letting the 28-year-old sink to the floor, the back of his head bleeding concerningly, but neither cared. He knew the older didn’t like hurting him, or anyone for that matter. He was a respectable and honourable man, but he was also extremely ruthless, so no matter how much he disliked bashing the Captain’s head against the wall or forcing a group of 29 men, women, and people to almost starve, it was a means to an end for him. And hey, the end justifies the means, doesn’t it?

“Four days, half the ration. Should bullshit like this happen again, I’ll make it ten days. The more you fight me, to more your Soldiers will suffer. Now get out of my fucking face, your blood is ruining my office.”

It wasn’t his office. This was once Azriel’s place of work. Before he and his commando got overrun by Southern Provinces Soldiers after Malvik cut off their supply and communication lines simply because that sadistic mother fucker wanted to ‘drop dead weight’. He knew that the entire team on Base 162 was just a garbage bin for the Dictator’s most untrustworthy Soldiers and liabilities. And that included his unruly protégé and ‘son’.

With shaking legs, he got himself up, leaning against the wall, for apparently a bit too long, if the growl from Winterson’s throat and the slight twitch of his hand was anything to go off of. He flinched back once more, before hurrying into the cold labyrinth of grey concrete walls and floor and towards the med bay. Sinistra and Dextra followed loyally, trying to ignore the big, bleeding wound on the back of their Master’s head and the light sway of what was most likely a concussion.

He made it to the med bay. The people there didn’t even try asking what the hell happened, they knew better. Not like Azriel would answer. They stitched him up, brought him to a small, private monitoring room, and let him rest. Rest for what, he thought to himself while the world around him got dark. The mess of black feathers gently took their place on the pillow and the end of the bed, sleeping close by and watching over him. Rest to relive the nightmare once more.

—————

Technically speaking, this is not Chapter one, but it is the first chapter (other than Chapter 0) that I was willing to write. More will likely follow, I have a lot of time and boredom right now, but enjoy the treats I give you now, please ;)

Please son’t be shy to ask me about anything concerning my person, characters, stories or world building and have a pleasant day, thank you for reading this :3

Masterlist for all my writing

[seven-stars-in-his-palm]

hey y'all its been seven hours im not done with the writing lets talk a good omens x ofmd crossover becquse im fucking AMAZING

aziraphale: passenger/medic on a british naval ship. at the beginning of ofmd, he'll be on the Twin's ahip, i forgot what his name was but he's a twib ANYWAYS. aziraphale's the resident Guy, the person you go to for things like advice or medicine and shit. he's kept about because he's useful, and even the other soldiers think he's too polite. but he keeps thr ships blessed, so its okay. his current assignment is to keep the navy in check and make sure they get to heaven, which isssss WOW harder than he expected. he's hanging by a thread. when he becomes part of crew, he starts being the soundboard. like stede but better /hj. he takes turns with telling everyone stories, helps improve the food supply, ACTUALLY KNOWS HUMAN MEDICAL PRATICES, likes watching the relationships aboard foster, looks for new books on raids, etc. just being a Good Vibe. they dont know he's magical, but i feel like frenchie and buttons (or the swede, i always mix those two up, its the one who turned into a bird) would be Onto Him, because they're the most magically paranoid/proficient. he's very like stede, but somehow a more tolerable aura. the crew is wary, especially cause he's british, but they'll be fine.

how aziraphale gets into the story: at the veryyyyy beginning. its during the forced tea party of s1 ep1, as he happened to tag along on the little dingey with the Twin and his men. he REALLY likes the revenge from first glance, and has a good feeling about the group of pirates they've landed upon. but things go awry! the Twin is stabbed thru the eye! but when stede proclaims he did it, aziraphale is ONTO him. the existencial crisis and trama exhude from him. he decides to see this through--and becomes one of the Revenge's hostages semi-willingly. but stede also likes aziraphale--even if he's british--and decides to be chill with him though he' still "texhnixally" a hostage. they bond verrryyyyy quickly, and soon (by like the end of episode 2, when the other hostage is tsken by izzy and the rest) is assimilated into the Revenge's crew. this is good, because heaven can tell that there's gonna be such a juicy moral dilemna with stede hehehe. lets get this bitch to stay good okay?? yeah. yeah this is gonna be fine....

crowley: like with most of these crossovers, crowley happened across blackbeard's crew. he was dayum, they get around and im bored af, lets do this. kinda like with stede (but not strong enough to satiate it) ed thinks he's a breath of fresh air and therefore keeps him around even if he's never seen crowley Kill anyone (they always make miraculous escapes). no one knows he’s a demon but he 100% has that record in pirate community. calling him the devil and the tempter and how he has a silver fucking tongue and shit like that, it follows him EVERYWHERE. not much more about him other than the basics like personality, except it 1000000% has long hair, wears black like the rest of them, and is oddly british. he's not army tho, so its okay. rebel 🙌

WAIT EDIR: maybe crowley can hear on the republic that Izzy’s looking for those naval men and THEN join Blackbeard’s crew. Like solely just to get aziraphale back. hmmm…..

how crowley enters the story: crowley hears about aziraphale's interception when blackbeard and da crew learn about the Revenge ravaging the navel ship. "damn it, i gotta go save my angel." he REALLYYYYYY wants aziraphale back and gets pretty antsy about it because he had no idea what he was ngl, turns out he was on the FUCKING SEA the whole time. (he also hates that he joined the british army but whateva, he dont know it wasnt voluntary.) they meet on the republic of pirates when stede's almost hung and shit, crowley is in Rampage Mode, aziraphale is in Pissed Mode because they're attacking their Fucking Ship, stede is Dying, ed is Doing His Thing and such. thinking about making aziraphale and blackbeard fight and aziraphale wiping the floor with him or smth. aziraphsle would also be the only one to notice stede and cut him down early and protect him during all the chaos, which would probablyyyyyyy get blackbeard on his ass and probably try and kill him which would not work out with ANYONE, anddddd you know. first impressions change shit. the point stands: ed is on, romance is a foot, and aziraphale and crowley are on the same ship. wahoo! and now that ed's on the path to become softer, hell's like AYO KEEP HIM ON HELL'S SIDE and now crowley's got an excuse to stay. i mean, he and aziraphale Could employ the Arrangement, but they were technially different assignments, and this crew looks like they're having the funnest fuckig fun and they feel so genuine. might as well stay...like they say--keep your friends close, but your enemies closer. and by that it means living on the same ship. also it deadass looks like they need miracles to keep together or they'll fucking sink. lol

and the reason why this is important is because that season 2 ends up HELLA different, and season 1's adventures alter a tad, with both crowley/ed's infamy and aziraphale's encouragement for stede to become a real pirate and Miracle Employing. so yay crossover achieved! I THOUGHT A LOT ABOUT THIS CROSSOVER ALRIGHT, SO MANY OTHERS HAVE TOO BUT FUCK

also btw here’s some canon divergences I can already imagine:

- aziraphale and crowley being present during the ‘you wear fine things well’ episode (can’t remember what happens Exactly, but I do know). aziraphale with ed and stede while crowley is helping frenchie and olu with their pyramid scheme. they both contribute wahoo!

- lucius is the ship marriage counselor and he’s onto these guys. he’s watching. Waiting. Advising

- when the whole act of grace shit happens, Aziraphale’s like FUCK IT and before ed can proclaim it he just snaps all of the enemies to sleep. he’s sheepish about it. everyone freaks the fuuccckkkkkkkk out even tho he saved them and shit Happens. it probably results in someone clubbing him over the head in panic and then Everyone Else Panics More. I can see it in my mind. this changes a lot of things canon on. ough

- munity is either much more prevalent or tampered down a lot. no in between. either mutinies left and right or they’re content. hm

okay that’s really it. Back To Writing Hell

[lord-westley]

Hi, this is @hinox-headcanons, this is my main blog. I'm sending this in for my Revali matchup! Thanks so much btw ❤️

I'm biromantic asexual and autistic with adhd and a couple other chronic illnesses. I frequently need a lot of medical care because of them (I'm actually getting my blood drawn this morning 😰). I'm really short, only like 4' 10" (147 cm), with a thin but toned figure. I have long wavy brown hair that's usually either braided or up in a bun, and my style switches between masculine and feminine a lot.

I can be kinda excitable, but I'm also really smart and protective over my loved ones. I'm usually a little overprepared for anything, I'm good at giving advice and telling stories or jokes. I'm very emotionally intelligent and compassionate, I tend to downplay my own needs though. I struggle with self care and standing up for myself a lot. I have a tendency to laugh off disturbing things as a coping mechanism.

My hobbies include drawing, writing, baking and sewing, and I'm pretty good at all of them. I also like to dress up a little and look my best when the situation (and my illnesses) allow for it.

I think that's all for now! Sorry if this description is kinda long, I got excited 😓 I hope you have a great day hun, remember to drink lots of water. I can't wait to see what you come up with! 😊

Hi Friend! Thank you for your patience with me to complete this. I hope you have a great 2023.

I want to note I know little to nothing of Revali so I hope it’s okay despite being ooc 👉🏻👈🏻

If there is one thing I know for certain, is that Revali wants to protect and care for you

This particular bird constantly watches over you when he has the time (though he pretends he’s not)

He understands that you struggle with health problems and wants to constantly be there to help you through it but isn’t quite sure how

Humans are so much different than the Ritos. When he first began courting you, the first thing he did was hit up a library to educate himself on it

But now many months later, he takes pride in being your sole protector and caretaker whenever you need help

However despite wanting to wait for your silent permission to help, sometimes Revali will push forward even if you protest

He knows that you push aside your own feelings often which pisses him off so much

Like who the hell made you feel that way- that you feel the need to hide your pain and feelings absolutely willing to fight them

He’ll make you a hot drink that you enjoy, run a bath and even light incense to calm the air

And despite not being very verbal about his affection. Revali will reassure you that he will always be there for you. And that if you wish to talk, he’ll listen

Revali will sit by you, he will hold you tightly, he’ll do anything you ask him to as long as it means making you happy

Anyways, no more sad sappy stuff-

YOUR HEIGHT god he loves how small you are- holy heck he is 6’3, this bird towers over you

Because of how small you are, he constantly loses you in crowds which of course makes him worry and panic but once he finds you he pretends he isn’t lmao

Ritos have a strong sense of culture and taking care of their appearances, so once the two of you began courting Revali SO wanted to braid your hair (idk how considering he has wings but go with it)

He loves how different the texture of human hair is compared to feathers, but as gentle as he is- sometimes your hair gets tugged on

During those days, Revali tends to decorate your hair with clips and colorful feathers

Revali loves how excitable you can get, how your eyes light up with the biggest grin on your face

And when you tell stories, he can’t help but be absolutely enamored by you. The whole time, Revali gives his full attention to you and only you

If someone dares interrupt he gets so cranky and tells them off

Revali listens very well during your rambles- even if you think he isn’t. And you can always tell he was genuinely listening when new art supplies or fabric suddenly appear in your craft room

He isn’t very forward with love, more prefers casual and doing things without prompts. Meaning he loves to fly around finding items for your crafts, carefully placing them in a spot that he knows you’ll see immediately

Proudly displays your paintings around the home (with permission) and brags about how awesome and talented his s/o is to anyone nearby

Also!! Any clothing or jewelry you make for him, he will happily wear! Absolutely loves flaunting his new pretty accessories

All in all, Revali loves you with his entire being and will go to the ends of the world for you

[omoghouls]

Sksksksk the soldiers all get one pee bag per mission and König realizes it's waaaay too small for his bladder capacity. So he either has to humiliate himself by asking for another one from one of his teammates, or by using his and then dealing with the overflow (which could be even more embarrassing!)

O m g yes

There had been a slight rationing of certain items due to there being a hold up on cargo for their base of operations- it's actually the reason why the squad is heading out for a search and retrieving mission

König is picked for this mission because, you know, having the 6'10 german giant usually is useful in intimidation.

But, such a tall man means he's got quite the large sized bladder! Being a soldier means he has learned to hold his pee for wild amounts of time. So,,,mix those two factors together, and you have a König staring down at the singular baggie with barley 600mL of capacity.

Of course, this anxious giant doesn't want to announce to his team that he can't even think he'll be able to hold his piss in until they're finished the mission and needs another bag for his bladder! König shoves the bag in his backpack and gets to work sharpening his combat knife and adjusting his helmet, trying his best to not think about all the water he had a couple hours ago-

Cue to being in the heat of combat, bullets whizzing past, the smell of blood thick and strong no matter where you tread; and in the midst of it all is König, sweating bullets under his mask because his bladder is screaming for relief.

The man knows if he doesn't go now, his body will make that decision and will have to waddle back to the plane in piss soaked pants.

So, he sneaks into the abandoned building, stepping around the rubble and into an area no one could sneak up behind him.

He sighs, holding the baggie between his forefinger and thumb. Why doesn't he just piss on the floor? It's not like anyone would notice the smell or puddle amongst the other bodily viscera.

But nooo, the medic specifically asked for a pee sample today, and, of course, König had forgotten to give it before leaving.

"Oh! No worries there, you can just hand me back it in this," the medic said, handing him that damn bag.

He calms himself, pushing his tactical gear to the side as he unbuttons and frees himself. A few droplets of piss escape before he clamps down for a moment.

Surely, if he just pisses a bit, he'll be able to concentrate the rest of the time. And, get what the medic needed.

Two birds one stone as they say.

That,,,is easier said than done. König presses himself into the bag, his jaw going lack as his bladder gets that relief it so desperately wanted.

Okay, it's getting close to full, time to stop.

The stream slowly tappers off. Leaving his bladder confused! They're nowhere near finished, why have they stopped???

König is so lost in this that he barely recognizes the static over the radio saying the jobs finished, time to get back on the plane.

"König!"

He jumps, small noises escaping his mouth as he fumbles with the bag while his bladder just lets go completely, urine splashing and splattering against the tiles and his shoes. It feels so good, but holy shit, this can't be happening.

König's eyes flick down for a moment, seeing one of his fellow crewmates standing there, watching him.

"Could'a just asked for one of ours," the soldier says with a small eye rolls, " 'sides, you're the only one who ever needs them, now, pack it up before they leave without us."

The soldier starts to walk out, leaving König to look down at his mess. He sighs, rolling up the bag and walking over the puddle.

"Scheiße."

[ris-multi-fandom]

Here’s day 26 of Housevember22!

Fandoms: House MD

Pairings: Gregory House x James Wilson

Characters: Gregory House, James Wilson

November 26th: Lycanthropy.

“Have you heard about the new psych patient?” Wilson asked House as they were in the queue for their lunch, “the guy thinks he’s a werewolf, kept the whole ward up with his howling last night,” House turned to face his friend.

”He thinks he’s a werewolf?” House repeated.

”Yes, he came into the ER because he fell of his roof, luckily it was only a bungalow so he didn’t have too far to fall,” Wilson told him, “didn’t even break a bone.”

“How do you know all this?” House questioned.

”I was talking to the new psych resident earlier,” the oncologist replied.

”Is this new resident aware that you are married?”

”I make sure I start all my conversations with new people with that fact about me,” Wilson joked.

”Good but are they aware you’re married to me?” House replied.

”Everyone in this hospital how’s that,” Wilson told him, “they also know that you’re incredibly jealous,” he teased.

”I have good reason,” House said, looking him up and down, “you’re a fucking catch,” Wilson chuckled at this.

”C’mon let’s go find a table.”

————

House couldn’t help but try to find out more about this new patient and before long he found himself on the psych floor.

”Can I help you House?” One of the doctors asked, knowing his presence was never a good thing, “come to check yourself in? We’ve had a room prepared since you started,” House started to laugh in a very loud, very fake, way and the doctor just stared at him.

”That’s funny, you’re really funny,” House told him, “but you know why I’m here.”

”No,” the doctor said immediately, “you’re not going near him.”

”But it’s interesting,” House replied, “who knows, there could be an underlying condition.”

”Yeah, he has clinical lycanthropy, it’s a psychological condition, so go back to your office,” House went to say something when they heard howling and a loud crash, “not again,” the doctor muttered, heading over to the source of the noise, House following behind.

When they stepped in the room House’s nostrils were immediately hit with the stench of piss.

”Jesus, do you guys never clean in here?” He asked.

”The guys not too fond of toilets,” the doctor answered him. He looked over to the man who was currently knocking over medical equipment as a nurse desperately tried to calm him down.

”You cannot cage me! I have the right to run free!” The man shouted.

”He is nuts,” House commented to the doctor who just ignored him and pulled a sedative from his pocket. It took four people to get the man sedated and back into bed and the doctor walked back over to House.

”You could’ve helped us out there,” he said, clearly out of breath.

”Sorry got a bummed leg,” House replied holding up his cane. The doctor rolled his eyes and walked away, House continued to watch the patient.

————

“You paged?” Wilson questioned as he walked into House’s office later that day.

”Look at this,” House said, showing him a brain scan.

”Wow that’s a big tumour,” Wilson replied, “Jacob Langley,” he read on the scan “this your patient?”

”Not technically,” House told him.

”what do you-“ Wilson began, disrupted by howling coming from the balcony, “please tell me you didn’t kidnap a psych patient.”

”I would tell you that but apparently you don’t like it when I lie to you.”

”Why is he on the balcony?” Wilson asked.

”He’s not big on toilets and I prefer my office to not be piss scented,” House explained. Wilson rolled his eyes before looking out of the window in shock.

”House he’s on the wall!” He exclaimed, rushing over to the door.

“Crap,” House said, limping out onto the balcony.

“Get down from there!” Wilson called out to Jacob.

”No! I was born to be free!” He replied.

”You’re not going to be free, you’re going to be dead!” Wilson told him. The man just growled at him before howling at the birds that were flying above. Wilson jumped when House started Howling too, “What are you doing?” He asked but House just continued. Jacob had stopped howling when he heard House and instead looked at him. He crouched down onto his hands and feet and jumped off the wall in a dog-like manner, coming over to sniff at House’s feet. The diagnostician took this chance to pull a syringe out of his pocket and stick it into the young man’s neck.

”How did you know that would work?” Wilson asked.

”I didn’t,” House replied.

”So he could’ve jumped off of there and died?”

”Yep,” House replied, “so now let’s save his life.”

————

House and Wilson stood in the OR gallery and watched as the surgeon dissected the tumour.

”House!” They heard the psych doctor shout from the door, “where the hell is my patient?”

“Down there,” House replied, pointing to the room below.

”Why is he in surgery?” House didn’t reply to this, only held out the scan he’d done earlier, “shit,” the doctor muttered.

”Your psych patient didn’t have anything wrong with him psychologically, he just had a brain tumour,” House said. The doctor didn’t say anything, just handed the scan back to him and walked out, “so you going to tell your resident friend about the patient they were boasting about?” House asked Wilson.

”Would it make you jealous if I did?” He teased, before looking down at the patient on the table, “nah, I’m sure they’ll find out eventually, right now I just want to go home and have dinner with my husband,” House smiled at him.

”Want me to cook that pasta dish you like?” He asked and Wilson grinned.

”You sure know the way to a man’s heart,” the two men chuckled before taking each other’s hands.

”Let’s go home,” House said, leading him out the door.

[trixree]

Wolffe enters the medbay and then immediately wishes he hadn’t. It has been an exceptionally long ten-day of post-campaign administrative work which has culminated in the most evil of all evils: a migraine. All Wolffe wants in this cruel, cruel galaxy is a bed upon which to rest his weary head and some sithdamn medication. Full citizenship and rights for the Vode? Forget it, just bring him some fucking phenergan and call it a day. It’s not like he’d be able to tell the difference at this point.

But instead of the sweet embrace of a sedating anti-nausea hypo, Wolffe has been given this shit-fest on a plate.

“What am I looking at,” he says after a beat. There is an important distinction to be made between “saying” and “asking” and this distinction is that when one asks for something, there is a general acceptance that the thing one is requesting might not happen. However, if Wolffe’s statement continues to go unanswered, the air in this room will boil with his fury and everyone will suffocate and die.

“Nothing,” Diotima lies. She makes no effort to conceal the fifteen pounds of beastie in her arms.

The gray behemoth of a tooka opens its wide and monstrous mouth to grumble and croak a sound that could be considered a meow, if only by the hard of hearing and-or deaf. It is a sound that drags itself across sandpaper, throws itself upon the craggy rocks of a troubled shore, and dances with Grievous' ongoing case of mechanical bronchitis.

“Hush, Pea,” Diotima soothes, petting the dreaded creature.

“Pee?” Wolffe repeats.

“Pea,” Diotima says. Wolffe somehow gets the feeling that they are saying different words. “Can I help you, Commander?”

Diotima’s patients are frozen in silent fear, eyes volleying back and forth between Commander, tooka, and medic as if watching a very high-stakes holoball tournament.

“Explain the animal,” Wolffe starts.

The throbbing in his eyes intensifies the longer that he remains without answers. The migraine now has a name and its name is Diotima.

He’d thought it was a pretentious name for a clone, but never would have said as such or even indicated that he thought so, given how meaningful it was for his medic. She’d settled on the fact that she was a she before graduation from flash-trainings to full-fledged Cadet-hood, but her name was a much longer process.

She’d picked “Diotima” from an ancient philosophy text that she’d—somehow—gotten ahold of the ‘net. Allegedly—and it is alleged, because Wolffe has many more important things to do with his time than search up the damn thing to confirm—the piece of writing is a collection of speeches by a bunch of drunk ancient Jedi at a houseparty; all men. Eventually a woman arrives, also a Jedi, and “delivers the most badass speech in the whole fuckin’ thing, vod.” Diotima—their Diotima, not the centuries-old Jedi one—claimed that it was only fitting that her name reflect the fact that she is “a beacon of hope amongst men”.

(Most of the battalion calls her Dio.)

“Pea is our therapy animal. Research shows that proximity to domesticated animals improves recovery after traumatic injury or experience,” Diotima recites imperiously.

“Pee?” Wolffe repeats, again, because why? Why would she name it that?

Diotima narrows her eyes and says, “Deputy Pea.”

“Deputy?”

She turns away from him, haughty, and Wolffe watches as Piss-the-tooka perches all fifteen pounds of its fluff atop Diotima’s shoulders and begins to knead gently at her scrubs with its disconcertingly bird-like feet. It also fixes him with a haughty look of disdain.

“Well, you rejected my request for promotion—”

“You tried to promote a tooka?” Wolffe never approves a request for promotion for a trooper he does not personally know. It makes sense, that he’d reject a promotion filed for anyone named Pee even if he wasn’t aware that they were an animal.

“—so instead of lieutenant, we had to settle for deputy of medical.”

Wolffe exchanges a bewildered look with the other medic on duty, Hack, who shrugs in a “what can you do?” sort of motion. And then, like the traitor he is, Hack offers: “the Deputy does help. She’s good for morale.”

Wolffe looks back to the animal and her wretched keeper. “Does the general know about this?” he asks.

If the general knows and hasn’t done anything, then it has been officially approved by someone higher up on the food chain and it can no longer be Wolffe's problem. As a general rule, the Wolfpack is a small enough squadron that either Wolffe or General Plo knows everything that there is to know, from gossip to stowaway critters. Wolffe’s ignorance about this matter indicates that it likely bears General Plo’s stamp of approval.

Diotima grins, shark-like. “The general procured her, Sir.”

Of course. Of fucking course he did.

“How does the deputy fair against migraines?” he grouses.

Hack makes an offended noise at the implication that the neatly-ordered, animal-infested medbay is the cause of Wolffe’s pain. Wolffe does not care enough to correct him. Let them think they are responsible for the nauseating, temple-throbbing pulse of pain in his skull. Maybe it will motivate them to be less awful.

Diotima snaps her fingers rapidly in the direction of an empty medbed, each snap increasing in violence the longer it takes Wolffe to comply. Begrudgingly, he does, but he only removes his upper plates in a stand against everything that has occurred here today. On his own ship, no less. Wolffe would expect such chaos from under Bly or Cody’s noses, but never his own.

“Rate your pain, one to ten,” Diotima prompts him.

Deputy Piss unspools from Diotima’s shoulders, leisurely hopping to the bed and sniffing at Wolffe’s waist as if considering whether it suits her napping needs.

“Fuck you,” Wolffe answers Diotima and the tooka.

“You’re getting an IV.” She snaps her gloves in punctuation. “Budge over, Pea,” she coos, decidedly sweeter with the tooka.

“Pee?” Wolffe asks, because really.

“Pea.”

“I feel like we are saying different words, Dio.”

“I neither confirm nor deny. Give me your veins.”

[shadowonwater]

Viral Pokerus: Gaeric

thinking about what I'm going to do specifically with the wardens in this au. So I making a post for each warden besides Melli and Ingo, who I already discussed in the outline post.

Gaeric doesn't go to the festival. Galaxy Team is a bit far away, and the Festival was going on for several days. So, Gaeric figured someone should be in charge while Irida was gone.

One day while he's practicing fighting by wrestling with the Alpha Machamp (who he is friends with), Gaeric hears the sounds of some kind of scuffle and goes to investigate. He ends up catching the Misfortune Sisters. He doesn't know what their up too but it can't be any good, he asks Lord Avalugg to watch them.

He doesn't know it but he just got infected by the sisters. And because he has some Machamp dead skin on his body it will later turn him into a Machop.

Sabi runs down to him as he is about to climb up the cliff. She asks where the people going to to the festival are and he tells her they already left awhile ago. She is visibly upset at this. He tells her that if she wants to catch up she can just ride her noble. But she tells him that Lord Braviary broke his wing because of the Misfortune Sisters.

Gaeric finds out what the Sisters were up to and is pissed. Before he leaves Sabi tells him that something really bad is happening, she's not sure what though, but that because of it going to the festival is dangerous.

Gaeric writes a note and sends a messenger bird off to pass off the warning to Komado (he's not sure if he should take it seriously, he doesn't entirely believe the whole child-psychic thing). It's because of the note, though, that Komado had the festival end early when the cold was going around, just to be safe.

Gaeric isn't sure what will happen but he tries to be prepared for it, including stocking up food and medical supplies. This will be very useful later.

When Irida and the rest get back and he finds out about the cold, and how it's getting worse for multiple Pearl Clan members he assumes this is the bad thing that Sabi was warning about. He and Irida agree that a quarantine is necessary.

Gaeric does a lot in helping set up the quarantine camp. He clearly ends up falling down with the virus as well and stays there, turning into a Machop.

[tainted-wine]

Caring For Your Hormonally-Charged Bird

Hawks x Reader (NSFW)

(I didn’t mean for this to turn into a monster with over 7k words, but I finally finished it. This is based off of my mutant headcanons and also takes some inspiration from user kazooli’s awesome thirst posts about Hawks. Happy Springtime, everyone!)

Edit: Now there’s a Part 2!

------------------------------

The songs of lovestruck birds rang across the streets. Freshly bloomed cherry blossoms rained petals down onto the pavement. Butterflies and bees hovered around the flourishing flowers. It was undoubtedly a beautiful day. Too bad you had to spend it in an office with an oncoming headache. A familiar voice spoke behind you.

“Wow, look at that. I don’t know what’s more gorgeous; the scenery outside or the lady staring at it.”

Hawks’s charm doesn’t affect you when he has pissed you off so many times in such a short span.

You’ve had the ‘privilege’ of working for the Hero Public Safety Commission for several years, from supporting public events to endless desk work. The pay was generous and life was overall more comfortable. All you had to do to stay on their good side was comply with every demand, ignore the condescending tones of the bigwigs, and turn a blind eye whenever you witnessed the occasional sketchy practice.

When they offered you a job as the personal handler of one of the top heroes of Japan, you almost fainted. You have always been a fan of Hawks. Fast, handsome, charismatic, he may not have the godly strength of All Might, yet he still felt just as flawless. You’ve been helping and guiding the winged young man since last summer and learned that he’s even more than what you imagined. He wasn’t just good-looking, he wasn’t just a sweet-talker…

He was also a fucking nightmare to work with.

You turned around to see said man ogling you a bit more than you were used to, his trademark crooked smile on his face, but you ignored that and went straight to business. “Your carelessness is trending again for the third time this week, Hawks.”

He drew a sharp breath in an exaggerated gasp. “Again? Oh, what could they possibly be on my ass for this time? Was I smacking on chicken wings too loudly in public? Did they catch the moment I almost flew into that crystal-clear window?”

You whipped out your phone, already prepared to show him a news page with a rather shocking photo. A man with an elegant and sleek appearance was beaten and bruised, his dazzling peacock tail fanned out behind him. The attacker was none other than Hawks, who was gripping the other man by the collar, his wings fully spread out with several sharpened feathers floating around his victim as an unnecessary precaution. It was a very aggressive display.

‘HAWKS LAYS SMACKDOWN ON PERVERTED PEACOCK’ was the headline.

“This is beyond excessive force. You could have just as easily restrained him with your quirk.” You scolded, fixing him with the steely authoritarian stare that you’ve been working on.

Hawks flinched, but you couldn’t tell if he was just playing with you or not. “Ma’am! I was simply defending the girl’s honor! She was very clearly uncomfortable and besides, wouldn’t flashing his tail like that be considered indecent exposure?” Yeah, that tone told you that he was clearly not intimidated.

“No, and even if it did, indecency and harassment wouldn’t excuse such a violent subduing. Furthermore,” you gestured at his threatening wing display in the photo. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were demonstrating similar behavior.”

He simply shrugged. “Just showing him who the bigger bird is around here.”

Your eye twitched. “For God’s sake, Hawks, you’re not an animal. Part of my job is ensuring that you maintain a friendly image that will keep the public at ease. This is not friendly. Shall I go through some of the comments for examples?” You scrolled down and cleared your throat in preparation. “Anyone else put off by how violent Hawks looks here? I didn’t know he had it in him to beat someone down like that. He’s usually all about being quick and efficient.” You scrolled down to the next one. “What’s the deal with Hawks? I was there and it was like watching a cockfight.” You clicked on a reply to that particular comment. “I know, right? I always wanted to meet Hawks in person, but after that, I was honestly too scared to-”

“Hold on, babe, I know you’re cherry-picking here,” Hawks, the little bastard, had taken out his own phone while listening to your reading. “Because those are nothing like my personal faves that I found on my Tweeter page.” You watched with silent frustration as his eyes scanned his phone until he found what he was looking for. “Ah, here we go. ‘Oh my GAWD, that look, those spread wings, he looks like such a beast!” He had raised the pitch of his voice for a mock feminine tone. “Leave it to Hawks to make all of us women feel safe. That pervert deserves to lose a few more teeth.’ Oh, and here’s the winner right here. ‘Just as I always expected, that hunk of a bird knows how to dominate. I can just imagine him towering over me, giving that same look while I take his big fat-”

“Hawks.”

He paused, but his shit-eating grin didn’t fade when he noticed your head being held in one of your hands. You hoped he didn’t notice that you were trying to hide the red that crept into your cheeks.

“…cock.”

You groaned loudly enough to most definitely be heard outside of the office. There truly were days when he would cut you some slack and be easy to deal with, but he has become downright unbearable for the past few weeks. His teasing has increased ten fold, yet he’s also been keeping his distance from you for whatever reason. It had taken you a while to notice, but he was normally more than happy to get in your face and ruin your professional act, but now, even when you’re the one trying to approach, he would casually step back to prevent the gap between you from closing.

And then it hit you.

Shit, it shouldn’t have taken you this long to connect the dots. You had even noticed how his wings appeared to be a shade brighter for the past few days, but dismissed it as a trick of the light. No, he had grown in his spring plumage.

“Uh, babe? You still there? Did the ‘C’ word break you?” Watching you stare into space was getting him a little concerned.

“You’re rutting,” was your simple reply.

Hawks’s face flashed into something more serious for a split second before giving a ‘tsk’ and looking away. “Took you long enough,” he scoffed. “Surprised the Commission hasn’t fired you for letting me go wild for so long. They must not have any replacements available right now.”

“Watch it,” you ordered. You pondered for a moment before asking, “Have you not been taking your hormonal medication? I know that you’ve been prescribed some for this time of year.”

He sighed and rubbed at the back of his neck, as if he was the one who should be feeling annoyed right now. Bitch, please. “Sometimes,” he muttered.

“Sometimes? They don’t work if you only take them sometimes, Hawks. I know you’re a busy hero, but you can put some effort into keeping track of your dosage.”

“Look,” it was the first time you’ve seen a genuine scowl on his face, the expression taking you back. “I just really hate that stuff, okay? They sap all of my energy and I put on a few extra pounds.”

You shook your head at his complaints. “Is that really worse than what you’re dealing with right now?”

“Yes. I’d rather be a horndog than a slug that doesn’t even have the will to move. It wouldn’t even be so bad if I could just sleep around every now and then, but that’s more trouble than it’s worth. I don’t wanna make your job that miserable.” He eyed you up and down for a minute, while you tried not to shy away from his piercing gaze. “Or I could find just one loyal partner that will help me scratch the itch?”

You stepped back, your heart racing at the unspoken request. “E-excuse me?” you stuttered.

Hawks raised his hands harmlessly. “Hey now, it’s just a suggestion. I’m pretty into you, you’re obviously into me, this could work out pretty well.”

An array of emotions were flowing through you, but you were more upset than anything else. “And what exactly makes you think I’ve been ‘into you’, as you’ve said?” Denial. You’re pretty sure that’s what this is. You know that you’ve been attracted to him since before you even met, but you weren’t going to let this overgrown brat have his way.

His sudden burst of laughter startled you. “You’re kidding, right? I still remember that look you had the first time we were in this room together, and it wasn’t the innocent ‘I wanna support my favorite hero’ look,” He was willingly approaching you for the first time in what felt like forever, every step sounding like thunder to your ears. “It was a ‘bend me over the desk and fuck me’ look.”

You were the one stepping back this time. You wanted to remind him not to use such foul language, to berate him for making such vulgar claims, but your voice was caught in your throat.

“We’d be doing each other a favor, right?” he continued, wings slowly expanding. “Keeping me in top shape is part of your job, isn’t it? I promise you that I’m gonna feel a lot better after this.”

You bumped into his desk, leaning back slightly as he finally closed the distance. His wings draped around each side of you, filling your peripheral vision with pure red. His face was only inches away from yours as he closed his eyes and inhaled deeply.

“You’ve been smelling so damn good lately. Been afraid that I just might pounce you if I get too close.”

A thickly gloved hand reached out and cupped your face with such a surprising amount of tenderness, you couldn’t help but wonder how it would feel bare. You were so entranced by his lustful gaze that you couldn’t find it in you to resist as he leaned in, feeling his hot breath as his lips drew closer to yours.

The door busted open accompanied by a shout. “Hawks sir! Your help has been requested at-OH!”

A genuine growl rumbles through Hawks’s throat and damn, that makes you tremble. By the time he turns toward the stumbling sidekick, he was already back to his cool and friendly self.

“Don’t stop on my account, buddy,” he beamed the younger man with an unwavering smile. “What’s the request?”

———

The next day, you tried very hard to pretend that little office incident never happened. You were not going to let something so unprofessional ever happen again. That was a promise.

Hawks, on the other hand, was being a persistent bastard. You were determined to win this battle. If he wanted the urges to go away so badly, then he can take his damn medication like he always has, not use your lack of authority and experience as an excuse to rebel. The only reason you haven’t informed the Commission about this is because you know that your head will be on the chopping block as well as Hawks’s. You will most definitely be in some shit once they realize that you can’t keep their most prized possession in check.

And to be fair, as the week went on, you really were wondering if you were cut out for this job. With his wings getting more vibrant, his advances becoming more frequent, and his feral rivalry against other men growing more severe, Hawks has officially become too unruly for you to handle, and you’re the goddamned handler. You couldn’t lose this job! What if they terminated you completely and you couldn’t get another position from the Commission?

You paced back and forth in the empty office. Hawks was late this morning, leaving you alone with your endless worries. He may act lazy, but he was never actually late for his meet ups. Looks like you’ll have to call him and pray that nothing serious has happened.

You jumped when your phone vibrated before you even reached into your pocket. Ah, looks like Hawks reached out before you did. You held your phone up, prepared to answer, and froze.

It wasn’t Hawks. It was the deputy, the very man that was kind enough to give you this job. He hasn’t called you since your first few days here to help get you started. With your progress, you doubt he was calling to give you a raise.

Well, as much as you wanted to throw the phone out of the window and find an appropriate place to bury yourself, you didn’t make it this far by cowering from these guys. Taking a deep breath, you picked up and greeted the man on the other side with a steady voice. “Good morning, Deputy.”

He addressed you with the same bored and unimpressed tone that you hear from every member in this cursed organization. Jeez, if you keep working here long enough, are you going to eventually sound as soulless as them? “I assume you are aware of Hawks’s current condition?” he asked.

Dammit. “My apologies, sir. I know that I have been neglectful of Hawks’s health and his behavior during this time. I have been doing my best t-”

“That isn’t the issue I am talking about, but thank you for confirming that you have indeed failed in keeping Hawks’s unsavory habits under control.” You flinched. Way to rat yourself out. “Hawks had managed to find and subdue the troublesome villain Libido.”

“Ah, of course. I have been informed of that, sir.” Libido was a cunning little criminal that has been causing trouble all over the city of Fukuoka. His ‘Love Breath’ quirk gave him the ability to exhale fumes with powerful aphrodisiacal qualities. The guy even made his own gas bombs, releasing them among unsuspecting crowds in the public. He was less of a villain and more of just a chaos-loving hoodlum that was too slippery for his own good.

The deputy carried on. “One of the sidekicks has told us that Hawks was exposed to his quirk.”

Oh. Oh dear. That’s some strong stuff to be subjected to.

“We have ordered Hawks to go home immediately and wait patiently instead of heading to a hospital. We will be sending treatment his way.”

Some of the tension left your body. “That’s good to know, sir. May I ask what kind of treatment he will be taking? I know I haven’t convinced you yet, but I want to do anything I can for his well being.” You hesitantly asked. Please, oh please let me make up for everything that has been happening.

You heard a faint chuckle from the other end. “That’s very good to know, because the treatment is you.”

You’re glad he couldn’t see the confusion on your face. “I’m sorry, sir. Are you saying I’ll be the one to doctor him? I’ll need to know what medicine he needs and how much rest he’ll be expected to-”

“Do you know how people affected by aphrodisiac quirks are normally treated?” he interrupted you for the second time. He didn’t even give you a chance to answer before continuing. “Given your questions, I’m assuming that you don’t. We can indeed offer drugs to weaken the effects, but Hawks will still be in great distress and will take a long time to recover, especially since he’s neglected to take his hormone medication with the help of an incompetent handler.” Ugh, you get it already. You screwed up. “But the quickest and most efficient remedy is, without a doubt, sexual contact and allowing the quirk to run its course. That is what we expect you to provide for him.”

What.

You took a full minute to collect your thoughts and ensure that you heard everything correctly. The deputy waited patiently. How kind of him. Once you gathered yourself, you conjured the most constructive response you could think of.

“Huh?”

An overly loud sigh sounded in your ear. Hey, it’s his fault for dropping this bomb of a request on you. “We can’t have the number two hero out of action for too long. The alternative is to strap him to a bed and sedate him for an uncertain amount of time. His rut has enhanced the quirk’s effects; this may even strengthen his arousal for the rest of the season.”

Your face paled. That sounds ten times worse than the way Hawks was already acting. “So, if I were to…be with him,” you blushed at the very thought. “That would provide the best relief?”

“That is the gist of it. You told me you would do anything for Hawks’s well being. Can I hold you to that?”

Your pounding heart was almost drowning out his voice. You didn’t mean to corner yourself like this. “O-of course. I’ll see what I can, um, do.” This discussion was getting uncomfortable.

“I didn’t expect you to be so hesitant. You’re a loyal fan of his, aren’t you? You should be thrilled. Few fangirls get this opportunity.” He laughed at his own joke. You sure as hell weren’t laughing with him.

“Yeah, of course, sir,” you grumbled. “I suppose I shouldn’t leave Hawks alone for too long. I’ll be on my way soon.”

“Excellent,” he said. “You’ll need to take some precautions, of course. Here’s what you need to keep in mind…”

———

You walked out of the local pharmacy, cradling the pills tightly to your chest like some sort of security blanket. The deputy’s advice echoed in your head.

“It’s best that you take contraceptives. Hawks’s mind will be clouded with feral cravings, such as the urge to breed. He is not going to accept condoms.”

You tossed the pills onto the passenger seat in your car.

“Again, Hawks is suffering from both the magnified effects of Libido’s quirk and his annual rut. It’s possible that he will not be of sound mind. If things get out of hand, you have the right to protect yourself.” the deputy paused for a moment. “Just try not to leave any marks on him, if you can. Hawks must look presentable at all times.”

Well, you did have a stun gun that you thankfully never had to use, and hopefully it will stay that way.

The deputy’s help made you way more anxious than before. Were you about to have sex with a horny man, or tame a dangerous beast? You still didn’t know what to make of this predicament.

You take your phone and select Hawks’s number. It’s probably best not to surprise him at his door. Hopefully he wasn’t too riled up and ignores your call.

The phone rings once, then twice, then you hear…whimpers? Shit, was it getting that bad?

“Hawks? Are you there?” you asked calmly.

“Babe.” Goodness, his voice was rough. He sounds like he just ran across the country. “Oh thank God. Talk dirty to me, baby.”

“Wha—no.” This was a mistake. You really weren’t prepared for such levels of horniness. He just blurted that out like it was nothing! “Look, um, I heard your urges are becoming too much to handle. I’m heading on over there to…help you.”

For a while you just heard what sounded like breathless laughs and weeping. Hearing him in such a fragile state had you genuinely concerned. “Y’serious? We’re-ah-we’re gonna fuck?” He was panting heavily between words.

Heat was gathering in your face. “Yes, that’s the plan.”

“Oh, fuck yeah. Get over here-fuck-so I can stuff you, babe. You’re gonna be mine. Oh I can’t wait to fucking have you.” This sounded like a goddamned porno and you couldn’t handle it. There was a strange sound in the background as he rambled, something like wet smacks. You kept hearing it in sync with his grunts and…

Oh.

“Just hang in there, alright?” You said quickly, wanting to end this call right now. “I’m coming.”

“Well, I’m not. My hand’s really not doin’ it for me. Gotta be inside you, babe. Gotta cum in that tight-“

You hung up.

You banged your head against the steering wheel harder than intended, but at least the pain got your mind off of…whatever all of that was. You can’t believe you just heard your favorite hero breathlessly talking about how he wants to bang you while jerking off. You didn’t know it was possible to feel this mortified, but that wasn’t the worst part.

The worst part was the tingle between your legs.

Hawks, one of the top heroes of Japan, the heartthrob of the generation, was lusting for you. It had you both excited and on edge. You remember the deputy’s comment.

“You’re a loyal fan of his, aren’t you? You should be thrilled. Few fangirls get this opportunity.”

You probably would indeed be thrilled if the circumstances were less dire. Your fantasies normally involved something simpler and more romantic, not saving him from his own sex-hazed mind. You still weren’t sure what you were walking into, and that was admittedly a different kind of excitement.

There was no time to waste with the state Hawks was in. Calming your nerves, you started your car and began taking the route to his place.

———

Here you are, at the doorstep of Hawks’s house. His place was surprisingly humble for a top hero, it made this encounter just a little less nerve-wracking. Pressing a finger to the buzzer, you waited anxiously, rocking back and forth on your heels. You really hope he’ll be dressed decently when he answers the door.

Your heart skips once you hear a click and the doorknob twists. It feels like it takes an eternity for the door to open and reveal…nobody.

Instead, you were greeted by a small flock of feathers suspended in the air. They slowly floated a distance away from you before stopping, as if they were waiting for something. You cautiously stepped inside, some of the feathers closing the door behind you. You don’t know what type of welcome you were expecting, but it wasn’t this. The feathers guided you, drifting up a flight of stairs and into a room with its door hanging open. You can hear harsh breathing inside, reigniting your fear. “Hawks?” You hesistantly called out without getting any closer.

A cracking voice cried out your name. “Help me. It fucking hurts. I’m so hot. Make it stop.” He sounded like he was crying. The desperate pleas prompted you to mask your fears for the umpteenth time and approach the room, taking in the sight of the man that has been waiting for you.

Hawks was naked, not to your surprise, but still to your absolute horror. He sat on his bed, skin glistening with sweat and a deep blush spreading throughout his upper body, making him look more feverish than aroused. His chest heaved with the irregular breaths that left his hanging mouth. His hair was even more unruly as usual, some of his locks sticking to his damp face. Your eyes locked onto his, pupils dilated and looking right through you.

He looked awful.

You came closer, trying your best not to stare at the very swollen and throbbing member between his legs. “I’m sorry,” you said softly, stopping right in front of him. “I didn’t think it would get this bad. I-I want to help. Just tell me what to do.”

He was on his feet the moment you finished, nude body just inches away from yours, but you kept your feet planted where they were. As his large wings slowly opened and enclosed around you, you noticed how brilliantly hued his feathers have become, practically glowing a vivid scarlet. It was captivating.

Two clammy hands came up to hold your face, the same hands he was furiously pleasuring himself with just a moment ago holy shit, and his mouth was on yours before you could even react. You gasped in shock of it all, allowing his tongue to slip past your lips. It was less of a kiss and more of just him hungrily ravaging every inch of your mouth, your own tongue wrestling with his to keep him away from the back of your throat. One of his arms lowered to wrap around your waist and pull you flush against his bare form, making you yelp when you felt his erection pressing against you. Hawks’s dick was on you.

You were too overwhelmed by his restless mouth and his DICK to notice the stray feathers hovering over you. A tug and a loud rip made you jolt. Hawks held you still, the sound of expensive fabric tearing making you flinch as your skin was slowly being exposed. The feathers were shredding your clothes.

You pulled away from his suffocating mouth just enough to take a breath and attempt to speak. “Hawks! Wha—” only for him to smother you once again.

“Don’t move,” he uttered between kisses. “Don’t want to cut you.”

With a few more slashes, your cherished suit was now scattered on the carpet in tatters, revealing your body to him, but the feathers weren’t done. The floating blades carefully slid under your panties and bra. You stood completely still, Hawks kissing you with less aggression in an attempt to soothe you as the feathers sliced through the last of your clothes. You were now just as bare as him. He simply held you tightly, face rubbing against yours with the occasional lick against your heated skin. Your eyes were closed shut, unable to process his frantic tongue, his surrounding body that felt like fire, his cock that was now pressed to your stomach you were going to drop dead holy shit.

“Smell so good. Tastes so good.” he groaned, still sounding short of breath. His mouth went down to your neck, sucking at it hungrily and giving the occasional nip, forcing a faint moan out of you. He continued his descent and reached your breasts, molding them roughly and attacking your nipples with hard sucks. Despite the rough treatment, a tight heat was building up in your abdomen, your hands cradling his head as he explored you. He ventured lower, now on his knees with his face right at your womanly mound.

Your heart was pounding when he leaned in, his nose lightly touching you as he drew in a long breath and giving a pleased sighed. His nose pressed in further and poked at your glistening pussy, your thighs clenching in surprise while he happily took in your scent. Fuck, he was really just kneeling between your legs and smelling you. You were ready to protest and tell him that this was getting too embarrassing before something wet and hot slid against your folds, replacing your planned words with a yelp.

Hawks apparently approved of your taste, strong hands grasping the back of your thighs as he brought you in closer to fully devour you. Your cries were impossible to hold in while he lapped at you, mind becoming too clouded with pleasure to stay modest. He moaned loudly into you, the erotic sound vibrating against you, tongue fondling every inch of your folds before his lips closed around them, sucking greedily and almost making your knees collapse. You were getting close, grasping onto his head in a desperate attempt to stay balanced, his mouth now assaulting your sensitive bud. Your blissful whimpers joined the filthy sounds of his feasting when your orgasm washed over you like throbbing magma. Once your legs lost the last of their strength, Hawks set you down gently on the floor, still licking your sensitive lips.

“Ah, Hawks…too much…” You whined weakly.

He got the message and pulled away to immediately climb over you, giving you a clear view of his face glistening with your juices. Bright wings were fully spread out once more; it feels like you were about to be taken by an angel, the most savage angel you could ever imagine.

He came down for a sloppy kiss, spreading your own womanly nectar all over your lips. “Hope you’re nice and ready now. Ready to take everything I’ve got.” He mumbled against your mouth. You couldn’t help but smile and feel grateful that even in such a frenzied state, he was still kind enough not to jump you the moment you were within sight.

You brought a hand up to caress the side of his face, watching his eyes flutter shut as he leaned into your touch like the needy animal that he was at the moment. His body was still unnaturally hot and he was still breathing harshly. It’s time to finally give this poor man some relief.

“Go ahead, Hawks. I’m all yours.” You were indeed ready for everything he has.

Hawks said no more, gripping himself and aiming right for your opening. The moment his head was pushing past your lips, he thrust forward, filling you completely and knocking the wind out of you.

You honestly thought he came right then and there with the totally profane howl that left him. “Fuck…!” he choked, looking on the verge of tears. Despite the seemingly paralyzing pleasure, he wasted no time in moving, his pace quickening at an alarming rate. Your pussy was still sensitive from his wonderful licking, his dick currently sending painfully powerful shocks that you just weren’t ready for, and yet heat began to pool within your core for a second time. Your arms were wrapped around his sweaty form, nails biting into his skin and forcing rugged grunts out of his throat.

The wet slaps of your bodies rang throughout the room, your limbs quivering as he pumped into you faster, his heavy balls slapping against your ass, full and prepared to pour every drop of its contents into your womb. Hawks had buried his head into the crook of your neck, letting you feel every breathless moan right against your ear.

All you could do was hold on and take the increasingly rough pounding. His rhythm was sloppy from the start, but the thrusts were becoming even more irregular as a sign that he was already reaching his peak. Not surprising, given the state that he’s been in all day. One well-aimed thrust hits your sweet spot, making you moan loudly against him.

The sound eggs him on, driving his hips at a bruising pace and fuck it feels so good it hurts. Your eyes shut tightly as another orgasm breaks free, your feminine walls clamping around Hawks, squeezing his own climax out of him. You gasped at the powerful throbs of his cock as it shot out stream after stream of cum inside you. The purely animalistic growl that rumbled through him had you shaking in the best way while you watched his wings twitch and flap, hitting you with a light gust.

After an impressive amount of spurts, Hawks collapsed on top of you. He was heavy, but having his weight on you like this was pretty nice. You rubbed soothing circles around his back, listening to the rather inhuman cooing sounds he made in response.

You just had sex with Hawks, your favorite hero and the very man you were paid to look after. Oh man, how badly have you screwed up your relationship? Not that you two had much of a bond in the first place, but now things will most certainly get even more awkward.

A twitch inside you interrupted your thoughts. What the hell? Hawks’s breathing was accelerating again as he suddenly lifted his weight off of you, and that’s when you realized even though he came, he was still hard.

With newfound energy, he pushed your thighs towards your chest and rammed into you before you could even register what was happening. His new angle had you seeing stars with each thrust, hitting you even deeper than before. The sensation was dizzying, your overstimulated body beginning to throb all over. Hawks had the most obscene expression on his face, glazed eyes watching your tits bounce while his mouth hung open, drool trailing down his chin. You didn’t know such a look existed outside of adult videos, and having it aimed at you was enhancing your stinging pleasure.

Looking down granted you the view of his drenched dick pushing into you, each slam of his hips rocking you into the carpet, which honestly burned like ouch. Thankfully Hawks was reaching his tipping point once again, his hips moving at a bruising pace before one final smack. You were spoiled with another wonderful image of his head thrown back as a choked moan escaped him, another round of cum shooting into you.

He finally slid out of you as he sat back to catch his breath, wings limply dropping to his sides. Finally. You didn’t know how much more your womanhood could take. The strain of moving your legs made you wince. Did he have to pin you so roughly?

Hawks watched silently as you pushed yourself up. You felt behind your back and…dammit, you really did bruise back there. Maybe you should go find a mirror; hopefully it didn’t look too bad. You noticed that Mr. Horny Wings continued to just stare, pupils still enlarged and his dick was still hard what the fuck. He suddenly shifted onto all fours and crawled behind you. The light brush of fingers over your blemished skin made you shiver. They weren’t big enough to be that painful, but you still hissed when he applied a little too much pressure, making him pull away.

“Sorry.” His voice was still raspy as he apologized.

You shrugged. “Don’t worry about it. Could’ve been wor—AH!”

Hawks shoved you forward, manhandling you until you were properly on your hands and knees. Fuck, your entire lower body was starting to ache, and here he was, ready to go another round. The head of his still-swollen dick was already pressing at your entrance. Grasping your hips, he pushed past your puffy lips and re-entered your heat. You bit your bottom lip and took the limitless strength in his hips, his balls sometimes smacking right into your clit and bringing you closer to your next climax.

His pace slowed down briefly in order to lower himself and suck at your bruises. “Nnngh, fuck, Hawks!” The combined pain and pleasure had your insides burning. He moaned and panted into your back, kissing up to your neck and sucking there as well. A pair of strong arms wrapped around your torso, pressing your body against his in an intimate embrace as he plunged into you more deeply.

It was impossible to not moan after each stroke. His face rested on your shoulder, and you reached behind to bury a hand in his hair. Shit, this was all getting so intimate. He was holding you and was so close, you could feel the ripple of his muscles as he caressed every inch of your inner walls. Your third burst of pleasure had you quivering against him as he continued to chase his own orgasm, stars appearing in your vision with each thrust. Hawks sank his teeth into your neck before bottoming out and releasing more cum inside you.

Both of you were lost in your sensual spasms before you collapsed. Hawks didn’t lay on you completely this time, his sweat-soaked form crouched over you, close enough to still be inside of you…

And rock hard.

You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.

You stayed as you were, your face down and your ass up, as you felt him humping away at you again. You could barely whimper as your tender pussy took another pounding. Christ, why wasn’t he getting tired? If the quirk was getting any closer to wearing off, it sure as hell didn’t feel like it.

It wasn’t long before he came again, grunting with each hard buck as he filled you with his apparently endless supply of cum. Was he done? Please be done. You turned your head just enough to check the state of his erection.

Nope.

Hawks had enough mercy to carry you to his much more comfortable bed before continuing. He took you again.

And again

And again.

You were positively ruined, no more strength left in your body as he repeatedly claimed you with fervor. Whenever it appeared you were getting uncomfortable in a certain position, he would simply switch things up before carrying on. Despite how utterly exhausted and raw you felt, your orgasms kept coming, every surge of pleasure clouding your mind more and more.

You had lost track of time. Was this his fifteenth go? seventeenth? Keeping count was becoming a drag. It didn’t help that Hawks was in too much of a trance to even speak, giving you nothing but moans and growls. At least he didn’t sound on the verge of tears anymore, so maybe he was making progress.

Another orgasm was approaching; could your tired body even handle it? You were laying on the edge of the bed as Hawks stood and fucked you. Even through all of the overwhelming passion, you never got tired of staring at his wings, the dazzling red never failing to mesmerize you. They fluttered rapidly as the tension in your core spilled over, your mouth opening in a silent scream and a blackness closing in on you with every blink.

Your body was finished.

———

Everything hurts.

That’s the first thing you noticed when you woke up and made the mistake of stretching. Your arms and legs ached, a sharp pain shot through your back whenever you shifted, and between your legs…well, the throb down there didn’t at all feel pleasurable anymore.

Still, you fought the pain to sit up and examine yourself. Your nether regions were surprisingly clean, almost as if someone had already taken care of it. With all of the cum Hawks pumped into you, it should frankly be an awful mess down there.

Speaking of, where was the guy?

“Hey.”

Oh, there he was leaning in the door frame. He had obviously tidied up, no longer a flushed and sweaty wreck, and was now sporting a pair of loose pants and a tee. You had never seen him looking so casual. It was probably a privilege very few had, and knowing that ignited something in your chest.

He glanced around before looking back at you. “You alright?”

Realizing you were just gawking at him and haven’t said anything yet, you coughed to ensure your voice was still clear and functioning. “I’m fine.”

He snickered. It was a sound you were used to whenever he knew he had the upper-hand in some way, but something about it felt softer this time. “I just fucked you into high heaven for a whole day.” He could’ve acknowledged it in a less shameless manner, dammit. “I just wanna know if you’re alright. You look pretty stiff.”

A jolt shot through your lower back in perfect timing with his statement, making you flinch. “Yeah, I’m—I’m pretty sore. Very sore,” you admitted.

“Ah,” He stood up straight. “I’ll go get some, uh, pain relief. Be right back.” And with that, he was out of your sight.

You waited patiently for his return, actually observing his bedroom for the first time. It was surprisingly bare, the room of someone who didn’t spend much time at home. There was a window that you didn’t notice and holy shit he was right. It was nighttime; you spent the entire day in Hawks’s bedroom. The fangirl in you was squealing in delight. You told her to shut the hell up.

The man returned with a glass of water in one hand, a pill in the other, and a set of clothes draped across his arm. “Here,” he handed the water and medicine over before sitting beside you on the bed. You gulped down the capsule, sputtering a bit as the cold water flowed down your dry throat. “I’ve got some clothes that might fit you well enough. Sorry about your suit. I’ll give you some money for a new one.”

He’s never sounded so wooden before and you couldn’t stand it. You let out your best good-hearted laugh as you took the offered clothes. “Stop that, Hawks. You sound as bland as your bosses right now,” you joked.

He laughed along with you. “Heh, sorry babe. Just worried that I came on a little too strong at the beginning there.”

You simply hummed in response. His clothes were so warm and smelled like him. Despite being surrounded by his strong scent for hours, you still welcomed it.

“So…looks like you’re feeling better.” You took in his appearance again now that he was closer. There was still a tinge of red in his face, but he seemed overall back to his usual relaxed self.

“Oh yeah, much better. The feeling’s still there, honestly,” he saw your eyes widen and instantly blurted out, “Just barely! I can ignore it and think clearly just fine now.” A boyish smile spread across his face. “Looks like I’ve got a hero. You really saved me back there.”

A ridiculous snort left you after hearing such praise. “Is that all it takes to be the great Hawks’s hero? I’m flattered.”

“Hey, I’m serious,” He looked you square in the face, and you couldn’t look away from his sincere expression. “It’s never been that bad before. Not gonna lie, I’m embarrassed you saw me like that. That was worse than all of my teenage ruts combined. Damn villain’s quirk really messed me up, felt like I was going fucking rabid. I don’t know what state I’d be in if it weren’t for you.”

Your mouth opened and closed, unsure of how to respond to his gratitude. “You’re welcome,” was all you could say. “You don’t need to feel bad about it. It’s…” You looked down at your feet. “It’s not like I didn’t like it. It was very draining, honestly lost track of time at a certain point, but it, uh, it was an experience.”

Hawks nodded in response. “Sure was. Never thought I’d rail a girl so hard and for so long that she’d pass out. I’m impressed with myself.”

“Hawks.”

He hung his head in mock shame. “My apologies, ma’am! I completely forgot that such vulgar language isn’t tolerated around you.” And there’s the infuriating grin that you were beginning to miss.

Both of you were laughing, slowly melting away the tension and stress that filled the room since morning. This…this was nice.

“So, you probably still don’t feel all that great, sooo…” Hawks rubbed at the back of his neck. “You wanna stay for dinner? Already ordered a chicken pizza with some wings.”

“Oh?” You raised your eyebrows. “Taking me to dinner after the sex?”

“Hey now, you know me. ‘The hero who’s too fast for his own good.’ Sometimes I miss a step or two.” He winked before getting up to leave. “You just lay there and rest, and go pee already. Don’t need an infection on top of everything else you’re going through. I already cleaned up the horrifying scene between your legs.”

You shuddered at the crude comment before falling backwards onto the poor mattress that had endured so much today.

Tomorrow, it will be back to professionalism. Back to pretending that you’re Hawks’s superior. Back to sucking up to the Commission. You’re going to cherish every minute of tonight, enjoying the company of Keigo Takami, not Hawks.

A shout echoed from downstairs. “The bathroom’s still empty, babe! Get your ass in there and pee!”

[lostinthewiind]

Sorry for already requesting again, I’m just slightly obsessed with your writing. Could I request another Poly!Matchablossom where they take care of the reader when they are on their period and in pain? If you want to keep the reader more neutral, I totally understand and would change the request to the reader just generally not feeling well. Thank you in advance!

Polyamorous Relationship w/ Joe & Cherry: Period Pains

A/N: okay so I love this request because I'm single AF and every time I get horrendous cramps during my period I wish I had someone to take care of me, but alas, I just have to curl up in my heated blanket alone :( Anyway, I shall now live vicariously through this fic. If anyone would like a gender neutral fic with the reader just being sick or something, let me know!

Rating: PG13

Warnings: mentions menstrual cramps and general period problems that some of us unfortunate souls have to endure once a goddamn month, mentions nudity, tiny bit spicy 

All things considered, it was shaping up to be a good day. The sun was shining bright, the warm rays peeking through the curtains of the apartment you shared with your boyfriends. Birds were chirping happily outside, waking the city with their beautiful song, and it was the weekend, so you didn’t have to go to work. 

It was going to be a great day . . . well, it would have been a great day if you weren’t currently experiencing some of the worst period cramps of your life. Because of this painful monthly inconvenience, all the things that would normally make you smile were thoroughly pissing you off. 

The sun shining through the crack in the curtains and the chirping birds acted as a taunting reminder that it was morning and that you hadn’t gotten nearly enough sleep that night thanks to your uncomfortable cramps and aching body. Sometime during the night, you had been forced to sneak your way out of the bedroom and set up camp on the couch for fear of waking your boyfriends with your constant tossing and turning.

This, however, wasn’t nearly enough to sooth you to sleep. If anything, it only made things worse because you never slept well without Joe and Cherry by your side. So, after popping a couple painkillers and downing a glass of cold water, you resigned yourself to lying awake on the couch for almost the entire night, staring up at the ceiling and trying not to break out into sobs due to pain, frustration, and exhaustion. 

Hearing the bedroom door open, you tilted your head slightly and watched as your boyfriends emerged from the bedroom dawning housecoats on their bodies and happy, sleepy smiles on their faces. At least they were enjoying everything this wonderful Saturday had to offer.

“Good morning,” Cherry greeted you with a quick peck on the forehead as he passed you on the way to the kitchen to start the coffee maker. “You’re up early.”

You winced and squinted as Joe threw the curtains open, flooding the room with blinding light. “That assumes I went to sleep at all,” you scoffed, your eyes slowly adjusting to the sun rays shining directly in your eyes. 

“You haven’t slept?” Joe walked over to the couch, squatted down in front of you, and placed the back of his hand to your forehead. “Are you feeling okay?”

You grimaced and swatted his hand away, knowing deep down that he was only trying to be nice but being bothered nonetheless. “No, my body is trying to rip me apart from the inside out!” You grabbed a throw pillow from the couch, pressed it firmly over your face, and groaned loudly. “I’m in pain!”

Joe and Cherry, who were familiar with how intense your periods could be by now, shared a knowing look from across the apartment. As much as you tried not to, you tended to lash out a little when the cramping kept you from sleeping or doing any of the daily activities you were used to. 

“Cramps?” Joe inquired despite already knowing the answer. When you nodded from underneath the pillow, moving the pillow along with your head movements, Joe placed his large hand on your lower abdomen and pressed down firmly. Then, without hesitation, he began to massage the internal muscles that were causing you such distress. “How’s this?” he checked to see if his actions were helping or hurting.

You sighed, your entire body relaxing into his touch as he massaged away some of the discomfort. “Feels good,” you mumbled, finally lifting the pillow from your face and setting it to the side. “I took medication but it didn’t help at all. It’s really bad this month.”

“Do you want any coffee?” Cherry called softly from the kitchen, pausing after he opened the cabinet until he knew if he needed two or three mugs. 

At the thought of drinking anything that wasn’t water, your stomach turned. “No, thank you.” You shook your head. 

After setting the mugs atop the counter, Cherry shuffled over to the back of the couch and leaned over it to caress your cheek lovingly. “Nauseous?” he asked.

You nodded. “And I have a headache,” you added, “but that could be from lack of sleep or because I haven’t eaten anything in a while . . . or simply because the universe hates me.”

“The universe doesn’t hate you,” Joe assured you as he moved your legs a little so he could sit on the couch with you before laying your legs across his lap and continuing his massaging. “But even if it does, we love you so it doesn’t matter.”

You chuckled slightly as Cherry returned to the kitchen. “Thanks.” You tried your best to sound sincere but due to your exhaustion-induced monotone voice, you sounded more annoyed than anything. 

“So you spent most of the night out here?” Joe questioned, his rough hands shooing the pain away one skilled movement after another. 

“Yeah,” you answered. “I couldn’t get comfortable and didn’t want to wake you guys. No sense in all three of us not getting any sleep just because I was born with an organ that is infused with the wrath of Satan himself.”

Joe laughed under his breath. “You really do reach new levels of anger during this time of the month,” he commented. “Good thing you don’t take it out on us . . . most of the time.”

“I’m sorry,” you shot him a sheepish look, apologizing for all the times you had treated him and Cherry rudely because of your mood swings and pain. “I don’t mean it.”

Joe noticed the guilty look on your face and immediately felt bad. “I was just kidding, love.” He pulled your close to his body and pressed a soft kiss to your temple. “We know you don’t mean it.”

“Good.” You tucked your face into the crook of his neck. 

Removing his hands from your stomach, Joe ran his fingers through your hair and kissed you again. “Do you feel any better?”

“A little,” you forced a small smile. “Thank you.”

Just then, Cherry appeared before the two of you with two mugs of coffee in his hands. After handing one to Joe, he looked down at you with a sympathetic look on his face. “You should eat something, darling,” he told you. 

“I know,” you agreed. “I’m just not hungry.”

Taking a sip of his coffee, Cherry lost himself in thought for a few moments while he tried to brainstorm a way to get you feeling good enough to be able to put some food in your body. Then, without saying anything, he turned on his heel, walked away, and disappeared inside the bathroom.

Seconds later, you could hear water running and could smell the faint scent of your favourite bubble bath wafting into the living room. “A warm bath sounds wonderful,” Joe whispered in your ear, catching onto what Cherry’s plan was. “Take a relaxing bath with Kaoru to ease your muscles and by the time you’re done I’ll have breakfast ready. How does that sound?”

“Perfect.” The thought of soaking in hot water was nearly enough to put you to sleep right then and there. “The only way it could be better was if we had a bathtub big enough for the three of us.”

“I agree.” Joe kissed the shell of your ear. “I’ll join you next time.”

“Okay.”

Minutes later, the sound of running water ceased and Cherry emerged from the bathroom. “Come now, beautiful.” He lifted you out of Joe’s arms and into his own, years of skating at S gifting him with muscles that hid beneath his slender frame. “Better get to cooking, Kojiro.” He eyed the other man.

“Okay, damn.” Joe held up his hands in defense as you and Cherry headed for the bathroom. “Let a man take a few sips of coffee first.”

You chuckled lightly, seeing through Cherry’s remark and knowing he did it just to coax a laugh out of you like you did whenever the two bickered about nonsense, which he had achieved. 

“There’s that beautiful laugh,” Cherry commented, smiling at the sight of your amusement. “I wish I could do more to ease your pain but I hope this helps even a little.”

“Of course it will help,” you told him as he set you down and closed the bathroom door behind the two of you to keep the heat inside the room. 

After stripping and setting your clothes to the side, you stepped into the warm bath and let out a relieved sigh like you had when Joe had massaged you. As you sank down into the water and the beautifully scented bubbles surrounded your body, you felt your muscles begin to relax. Letting your eyes flutter shut, you basked in the euphoric feeling of being comfortable for the first time in hours.

“You look content.” Cherry’s voice was soft and quiet, careful not to startle you out of your happy daze. “Can I do anything else?”

“You can join me.” You extended your hand toward him. “Will you? Please?”

Cherry smiled as he too began undressing. “You don’t have to ask me twice,” he assured you, and as you slid forward to make room for him, he sank down behind you and the water sloshed against the sides of the tub as the two of you maneuvered into a comfortable position. 

As Cherry wrapped his arms around you from behind, you leaned back into his chest and smiled happily when he rested his chin on top of your head. The two of you stayed like that in complete silence for a while, just enjoying the time you had to spend with each other.

 “We should do this more often.” Cherry spoke after a while, sounding like he was enjoying the bath even more than you were. “I could almost fall asleep like this.”

“Don’t tempt me,” you warned. “I’m so tired.”

“You just close your eyes and relax.” He held you tighter. “I wont let you drown.”

“Promise?” you joked.

Cherry scoffed and rolled his eyes at you. “Yes, I promise.” He dipped his head down and began peppering your cheek, jaw, and neck with kisses, nips, and kitten licks. “I’m here for you. Whatever you want . . . I just want you to feel good.”

“That definitely feels good.” A small moan escaped your lips as you tilted your head to the side to allow your boyfriend easier access to your neck. “Very good.”

Once Cherry’s mouth reached your shoulder, he slid his tongue along your skin as he moved back up to your ear so he could work his way down again. “You know what else would feel good?” You felt him smirk against your flesh, but before he could elaborate, the bathroom door opened and Joe strode in with a spoon of something in his hand. 

Stopping halfway between the door and the tub, Joe narrowed his eyes at the two of you. “You know, I’m feeling very left out right now.”

“It’s not always about you.” Cherry scowled, clearly upset about being interrupted. “Ever heard of knocking?“

“I’ve seen you both naked before. Many times. I don’t need to knock.” Joe brushed off Cherry’s concern and approached with the spoon held out toward you. “Does this taste good?”

Now that your nausea had subsided and you were actually beginning to feel hungry, you happily opened your mouth and tasted whatever it was that Joe had created in the kitchen. You didn’t know what it was, but it was some sort of sauce and it was sweet. 

“It’s very good,” you assured him. “But everything you make is good.”

Joe’s face lit up at the compliment. “Not too sweet?”

“No.”

“Good.”

“Ahem,” Cherry cleared his throat. “I’m here too, you know. Do I get a taste?”

“It’s not always about you.” Joe threw his own words back at him before smiling sweetly at you. “Breakfast will be ready soon. I’ll call you.”

“Okay.” You couldn’t help but return the smile, feeling much better than you had earlier. 

Before Joe left, he pressed a kiss to your lips and a peck to Cherry’s head as a peace offering to make up for the two’s nattering at one another before. Then, he was gone and the sound of him working in the kitchen filled the apartment.

“What did he feed you?” Cherry questioned, running the tips of his slender fingers up your arm and leaving goosebumps in their wake.

You shrugged. “I have no idea, but it was delicious.”

“Mmm,” Cherry hummed, his mouth quickly finding its way back to your skin and sucking on your shoulder. “You know what else is delicious?”

You giggled when he grazed his teeth across a ticklish spot on your neck. “Breakfast is soon. You aren’t allowed to eat me.”

“But you taste so good, I just want to-”

“Kaoru, could you come help me?” Joe called from the kitchen, almost as if he knew what the two of you were up to and was interrupting again on purpose. 

Cherry’s head fell back and he huffed. “Oh, my God. Is five minutes alone too much to ask?”

Dropping your head back onto Cherry’s shoulder, you pressed an open-mouthed kiss to the nape of his neck. “Don’t go. Pretend you didn’t hear him.”

Cherry squinted down at you quizzically. “What’s gotten into you? You’re usually the one encouraging me to be nicer to him.”

“I know . . . but just this once, please?” You batted your eyelashes at him. “If he thinks we didn’t hear him, he’ll come to get you and then we can convince him to let us stay in the bath a little longer. It’s just so warm . . . I don’t want to get out yet.”

“But the food will get cold.”

Your eyes grew as wide as dinner plates at your sudden idea. “Do you think we can eat breakfast in the bath?”

Cherry laughed heartily at that. “Well if you ask Kojiro with the same wondrous expression you just gave me, I don’t think there is any way he could say no. He might even feed you if you say please and kiss that spot behind his ear that he really likes.”

“I hope so.” You felt like you were in heaven with the thought of being fed delicious food in a warm bubble bath. “It’s worth a try, at least.”

“Indeed it is.” Cherry kissed the top of your head, truly happy with how much your mood had lifted in such a short amount of time and proud of himself that he had helped make that happen. 

With your eyes glued to the door, waiting for your other boyfriend to walk back into the bathroom, you exhaled contently. Maybe today was shaping up to be a good day after all. 

[ofallthingsnasty]

Gotta ask—

Who do you think would be more of a dick about kegals/how tight your pussy is? Night eye or Overhaul?

Like, they would be totally clinical about it, it’d be basically an examination 😭 they’d make you lay in bed and stick their fingers in you and demand you to squeeze around them

“Is that all? Your walls are pathetic.”

Would make you walk around with benwa balls and no panties all day and if they fell out, they’d punish you

I know you’re into piss so lemme add this 💀 😂:

Also would monitor all bathroom breaks when you have to pee by making you ask for permission to go because they’d force you to stop and start midstream while you peed (I believe I read that’s one way to do kegal training 🤔)

-AFO anon (so embarrassed 💀 I been forgetting to signature my last few asks 😭)

sgadgsa I had a hunch it might be you (you guys always have pretty distinct typing styles haha) - but I didn't want to say anything, because I could be wrong pfff. You don't need to feel embarrassed, I’m just happy you’re doing well 😊💖 tw.not sfw, piss

Okay, so: That line? Sir. Making you wear them all day without panties? Also Sir. But I don’t think it’d be that important to him. It’s a fun little thing to degrade you with, to work on (doing kegels is actually good for everyone) and another one of those million little things he can be strict about. It’s a type of training he’d enjoy and that can be immensely useful. The thought of clenching around his fingers while he’s watching you is SO hot though 🥴 (And the punishment. Oh my.) The thing is, I think Kai wouldn’t want you to walk around without underwear all day (a little icky for him), but I think he’d be waaaay more into kegels and the like. Of course he’d do his initial check-up - but instead of outright addressing you, he’d murmur some medical stuff and jot it down a minute (and a glove change) later. He wouldn’t even tell you, just present you those little balls the next day - it’s expected of you to keep up with the exercise. It’s a good excuse to stick his fingers into you at least once a week (you know he’d do it anyway, but that man loves to play pretend, my god). The piss thing is also 110% Overhaul and you cannot change my mind 😂 If he doesn’t make you wear catheters, he definitely ‘needs’ to know how many times you go, how much, the color - even the smell. There is no privacy with that man and if you don’t pee in front of him you’re getting the catheter again, simple as. The stopping mid-stream, goodness 💀 It’s perfect to check if your pelvic floor has gotten stronger AND he can take that msu sample - two birds one stone. But can you imagine sitting there, being watched by him? Unsettling. It’d probably take me weeks to get it out in front of him uh oh

[fruitcoops]

I was watching this video w Megan Rapinoe & Sue Bird (tumblr won’t let me link but it’s from 2 days ago on GQ- they ask each other questions but it’s like quiz style?) and didn’t know if you would want to do something similar for coops? Some of the stuff they said/how they acted reminded me of coops’ dynamic

Anon, this video was the perfect way to spend an evening. Both these women are my role models and they’re unbelievably cute together--go check out the video here if you have the chance! Their dynamic is a lot like how I imagine Coops, too! Sweater Weather credit goes to @lumosinlove!

“Hey, Lions, we’re back!” Sirius waved at the camera and tapped a short stack on notecards on his thighs. “I’m Captain Sirius Black of the Gryffindor Lions and I’m here with my fiancé, Remus Lupin, to do another couple game.”

“The response to our last few interviews was incredible and we had a great time,” Remus continued. “Miss Marlene McKinnon was kind enough to drag us back in here to answer even more questions!”

“Do you want to go first?”

“Sure.” Remus cleared his throat and pulled the first card. “What are my parents’ first names?”

“Hope and Lyall.”

“Easy peasy, lemon squeezy. What’s my hidden talent?”

“You can sing.”

“Does that count? I feel like most people know that now.”

“Hmm.” Sirius thought for a moment, drumming his fingers on his knees. “You can cook really well.”

“Thank you, baby. What’s my favorite accessory?”

Sirius brightened. “Your watch!”

“Yes!” Remus held it up to the camera—it was simple and elegant, with a leather band and a small face. He wore it with the clock against the inside of his wrist, just above his pulse point. “What is my dream travel destination or vacation?”

“Oh, that’s tough.” Sirius bit his lip in thought. “Seattle? Paris?”

“I do want to go to Seattle, but I’ve always wanted to go to Montreal,” Remus said. “You’ve seen my hometown, but I’ve never been to yours.”

Sirius frowned. “Really?”

“Really. What am I most afraid of?”

“I think…I think you’re most afraid of not being useful,” Sirius said after a moment. “For six years, your job was all about helping people, and it’s not now.”

Remus raised his eyebrows at the camera. “I was going to say the dentist’s office. Goddamn.”

“Sorry,” Sirius laughed. “Yeah, you don’t like medical facilities.”

“I mean, you weren’t wrong about the useful thing,” Remus said. “You still get a point for that. What’s my favorite music, song, or artist to listen to before a game?”

“You don’t have one.”

“That was quick. Half a bonus point for speed. When was our first date and what did we do?”

“Our first official date was just after All-Stars and we went to Sid’s, but we had been together for about three months at that point and just hung out at each other’s houses.”

Remus grinned. “Do you remember what day it was?”

“January 28th.” Sirius gave him a look. “I know for a fact you don’t know what day it was.”

“January 28th.”

“You only know that because I just said it!” Sirius smacked him playfully with his cards. “Next question.”

“What’s my favorite movie and TV show?”

“Jurassic Park and Avatar: The Last Airbender.”

He whistled the first part of the theme song as Sirius did the hand motions. “What’s my shoe size?”

“Oh, god,” Sirius muttered, staring down at the floor. “Eleven? Eleven and a half? You have smaller feet than I do, but not by much.”

“I’m a size ten.”

“Are you really?”

Remus pulled one sneaker off and handed it to him with a laugh. “Check for yourself. Oh, I’d love to know the answer to this one. How do you know when I’m mad at you?”

Sirius tossed his shoe back with a snort. “You make faces.”

Remus seemed surprised. “Do I?”

“Yeah. You’ve got a very expressive face and the second you’re pissed, it’s written all over it. It’s like—” Sirius pursed his lips and scrunched his nose slightly. “I can’t really do it, but anytime I see that I’m like, ‘oh, shit, what did I do?’ Also, you stop calling me baby.”

“That’s what I was going to say. What’s my favorite city to play in?”

“Not Florida.”

“Not fucking Florida,” Remus agreed with a grin.

“Gryffindor for sure.”

“Where was I born?” He gave Sirius a teasing look. “Do you know this time, or should I get my mom on the line?”

Sirius stuck his tongue out. “Madison, Wisconsin.”

Remus glanced at the camera. “We got asked this question in an interview a few months ago and he had to call my mom afterward because he forgot.”

“She made fun of me the whole time,” Sirius pouted.

“What is my favorite food? Oh, you’ll get this one for sure.” Sirius hesitated and Remus’ eyes widened. “Really?”

“I’m a little torn. It’s either my grilled cheese or your dad’s turkey-cranberry thing. Actually, I don’t think you know what your favorite food is.”

Remus nodded slowly. “That’s a really good point. My first thought was grilled cheese, but my dad makes the best postgame sandwiches. I’ll give you that. What’s my favorite hobby?”

“Reading.”

“What did I want to be when I was a kid?”

“A librarian, until you started playing hockey.”

Remus leaned over and high-fived him. “You’re on a roll, baby. What was my jersey number in college?”

“Number six.”

“The transition was so fucking easy,” Remus laughed. “Coach literally came up to me a month before practices started and went ‘hey, what was your old number?’ and I told him, and he looked down at his clipboard and went, ‘cool.’. I got my jersey two weeks later.”

“Is this your last question?”

“It is, indeed. What’s my full birth name?”

“Remus Jehosephat Lupin.”

“That is incorrect.”

“Close enough. It’s Remus John Lupin, which I find endlessly funny.”

“Why is it funny?” Marlene asked off-screen. Remus hid his face behind his notecards as Sirius laughed.

“Because it’s such a basic middle name! I love Hope and Lyall with my entire heart and they’re wonderful people, but they named their sons Remus and Julian and then I think they got stuck. Like, you’ve got these two very uncommon first names and they sort of went ‘fuck it. John and Michael. We’re done.’ It’s just so funny.”

“Whereas your parents went the extra mile and gave you and Reg goddamn supervillain names,” Remus snorted. “The drama of it all, my god.”

“Alright, alright, my turn.” Sirius leaned his elbows on his knees. “What is my favorite color?”

“Blue.”

“How do I like my coffee?”

Remus hissed between his teeth. “Ah, shit, you always make the coffee. With a lot of sugar, right? It’s black with sugar?”

“It can’t be black if it has sugar in it,” Sirius laughed. “But yes, I do put sugar in my coffee. What are three things I never leave the house without?”

“Keys, wallet, phone.”

“My favorite TV show?”

“Why are you going through these so fast? Uh, Avatar.”

“Did I ever have a job that wasn’t playing hockey?”

“Nope.” Remus frowned. “Were you allowed to get a job as a kid?”

“I was not. What’s my favorite ice cream flavor?”

“Cookies and cream.”

Sirius made a buzzer noise. “Incorrect.”

“Is it chocolate?”

“Yep. You get half a point for that. What’s the first meal I ever cooked for you?”

Remus gave him a look. “You don’t remember what you cooked for me, do you?”

“Refresh my memory?”

“No way!” He punched him lightly on the arm. “I’m not falling for my own tricks. Next question.”

“It’s kind of a repeat from earlier. How do you know when I’m mad at you?”

Remus fiddled with the edges of his cards. “You act all weird and Captain-y, and then you get quiet. Just cranky vibes all around.”

“Cranky vibes,” Sirius laughed. “Good to know. What are my favorite movie-watching snacks?”

“Popcorn and…Sweet Tarts?”

“Yes!” Sirius gave him a high-five. “Do you know what I like on my popcorn?”

“Butter and enough salt to kill a Victorian child.”

“Bonus point! What is—oh, shit!” He nearly fumbled the cards onto the floor. “What is my favorite movie of all time?”

“Indiana Jones.”

“Which one?”

“The one with Marian, because she reminds you of me.” Remus looked over at the camera. “I really don’t like snakes.”

“What is the first thing I do when I wake up in the morning?”

“Oh, I think this requires a demonstration. C’mere.”

“Does it really?” Sirius sighed as he laid down next to him.

“For sure.” Remus cuddled into his side and laid his head on his shoulder. “Alright, the key to a true Sirius Black wake-up is getting all four limbs wrapped around the other person like you’re trying to suffocate them with affection.”

“Okay—”

“And then,” Remus continued with a grin. “I go, ‘honey, wake up’—”

“You absolutely do not.”

“In my head, that’s what I say. It’s very sweet. To answer the question, the first thing Sirius does is this.” He buried his face in Sirius’ chest and groaned loudly, then dissolved into snickering as Sirius’ chest began to shake with suppressed laughter. “Stop it, you’re ruining the demonstration!”

“You forgot the part where I have to peel you off me with pliers and grease,” Sirius teased as they stood up, dusting themselves off. The camera crew applauded and they both bowed. “Alright, where were we? What am I most scared of?”

“Losing your friends and family,” Remus said. “Also, spiders and most bugs.”

“You forgot one.”

“Which one? The dish soap bubbles?”

“Losing you.”

A vibrant blush tinted Remus’ cheeks and ears, and he floundered for words. “Oh.”

“You still get the points, though,” Sirius said mildly. “What city do I like playing in the most?”

Remus paused for a moment longer, then shook his head to clear his thoughts. “Uh, Gryffindor. You like the crowd.”

“I do.” Sirius smiled at the camera. “To all the fans out there: you are incredible and there is nothing like skating out with everybody roaring so loud the windows shake. Who is my biggest hockey influence?”

“Now, or when you were younger?”

“Now.”

“It’s Dumo, right?”

Sirius nodded. “On and off the ice. What’s my proudest career moment?”

“Hmm, I wonder,” Remus said sarcastically. “Could it possibly be winning the Stanley Cup?”

“Just maybe,” Sirius laughed. “What’s my most famous celly, and which one’s my favorite?”

Remus grinned. “Lightning McQueen.”

“I hate it when you call it that.” Despite his words, Sirius was smiling. “It’s supposed to be cool!”

“Can you elaborate?” Marlene asked.

“I mean, most people who have seen him play know what I’m talking about,” Remus said, gesturing to the camera. “But Sirius’ famous celly is a double fist pump, and I call it the Lightning McQueen because it’s like ka-chow! It’s also his favorite one, though he dances when we’re skating alone or with a couple of the guys.”

“Shhh, they aren’t supposed to know that!” Sirius covered Remus’ mouth with his notecard. “This is the very last one. What is my biggest pet peeve?”

“When I leave my socks laying around the house.”

“Ding, ding, ding, we have a winner! That drives me fucking bonkers. Marley, who won?”

“It wasn’t a competition,” she said off-screen. “Just a Q & A.”

“Who got the most right?” Remus asked.

“You two are hopeless,” she muttered. There were a few beats of silence. “Remus won, with sixteen and a half out of seventeen. Sirius, you had fifteen and a half.”

“No.” Sirius groaned and dropped his head into his hands as Remus whooped.

“Hell yes!”

“My bonus points let you win.” He shook his head in disbelief. “I can’t believe this.”

Remus faced the camera with a victorious smile. “Thanks for joining us to witness my landslide victory—”

“It was one point.”

“And make sure to like and subscribe for more Lion Pride content! See you around, Lions.” They both mock-saluted, and the video ended.

[mistkissedmoon]

Damirae Batfamily headcanons

Tim:

 He’d find any opportunity bring Damian and Raven together. He’d go out of his way to bring the two together, by planning a lunch with him, Damian and Raven and bail on them last second so they could be alone. If he wasn’t doing that, he’d be dropping these annoying hints in Damian’s direction about Raven.

 “So you want to choose the bird character on this video game, huh? Well, that’s funny.” “Why is it funny?” “I don’t know, it just fits you, you know? You’ve got the whole robin gig going on, you clearly love Ravens, you-” “Tim, ENOUGH.”

Jason:

 Whenever he was around, he’d probably try to wind him up by getting him jealous. Like telling him how she’s a lovely gal and that that one new kid on his team was asking about her. Genuinely just winding him up instead of being subtle so that flustered mess could maybe get the courage to speak to her and realize that he really likes her. He’s just get annoyed and pretend like he doesn’t care but both him and Jason knew he was pissed.

 I think that whenever Raven and Jason hang out without Damian, he actually tries to be very sweet to her, first out of a genuine curiosity to know her and then because he begins to think she’s precious, like a little sister. On her side, she starts their relationship a little hesitant but grows to really appreciate how he checks in and talks books with her and eventually, when they’re fully brother and sister (in this universe) when he cuddles her or how protective he can get. It’s a belief of mine that Raven tries to offer her healing talents to doctors and the injured at the end of every fight (with an added bonus in that she can avoid the crowd/fans). When she hears how Jason is protecting Crime alley, she starts exclusively focusing her efforts there, as I don’t think many residents can afford medical care (timidly at first as she doesn’t want to step on anyone’s toes). Jason is (secretly) extremely grateful for this. Before with her help tending the injured, big gang fights that involve crime alley more than any other part of Gotham used to overwork him so much he felt like he couldn’t breathe. Being healed as well so quickly is definitely a plus although he watches her closely to make sure she doesn’t hurt herself. Damian might be a teeny bit jealous about this as he wants to fight side by side with her and look after her after the battle. 

Dick:

 Since Damian is basically his little brother and he thinks of Raven as a little sister/daughter type similar to the whole Bruce/Dick situation, I think he’d be much more on the supportive side then the teasing. He’d swiftly bring up the topic casually so it wasn’t weird but he had his moments. Sometimes he would drop a comment that would get Damian not annoyed but beet red. I think Kori would be more on the smirky smug type always giving Damian these knowing looks haha.

Barbara:

- I’m not sure about Duke, but I think Stephanie could be skeptical. Mostly cause she’s the one who holds a fondness for Damian and she probably felt just slightly protective of him.. okay, maybe a lot protective. She would definitely be slightly wary of the demonic side of Raven cause she doesn’t want Damian mingling with more demons than he already has.

 I don’t think she’d tease him because she was more on the neutral but cautious side. I think it wouldn’t be until after they got together and she witnessed RAven being selfless to save Damian from danger that she’d truly understand. Maybe then she’d properly teas Damian about how totally in love and taken he is and even in the beginning few months she’d ask him “So... when’s the wedding?” before disappearing as quickly as possible to avoid Damian going from flustered to pissed.

As for Bruce, oof:

Definitely wary and not a fan. Alfred tries to communicate with him about how the two make sense and it’s understandable why they feel a connection but Bruce is very protective of his son (protective of all the robins x10 after what happened to Todd). He doesn’t want another one trusting someone blindly and then ending up hurt one way or another. And he doesn’t trust Raven either, doesn’t trust the empath part of her at all. It’d take years and he’d discourage it all the way through but at one point he’d realize that she makes her son happy and goes out of her way to save him. So very very slowly, he’d start to accept her more and eventually it’d become a sweet relationship. Though the start would totally be messy.

 The other robins and batgirls would be protective of her at the beginning of Bruce’s dislike. Jason would not really care for Bruce’s opinion, Cass would’ve been bummed by his reluctance as would Steph, Tim would’ve been rather stubborn with him and tell Bruce that he’s wrong to his face, but I think it would’ve been Dick who’d be most vocal about her and being protective over her. Like, not trying to push it with Bruce and get really annoyed but if it came up, he was more than willing to argue.

Me and bluescove/@soulselfs talked headcanons a bunch and she encouraged me to post these before she left. I hope @poiitisinstone enjoys them, I really like their headcanons.