#hilarious tho

[slaybestieslay946]

the biggest fanfiction jumpscare is when an author mentions their husband of 10 years and their two teenage children.

I THOUGHT YOU WERE LIKE 17???

[bloodpen-to-paper]

Ending the May segment with Ranboo getting their head crushed in Genloss and segwaying into showing a compilation of streamers screaming in agony after failing at Only Up is foul💀

[endenope]

Consider though: sucking alhaithams tiddies is what causes the transformation. 🐡

what he got in there....monster milk.......??

[certifiedbi]

Just found out Dani holgado vapes. Make so much sense the lamest guy I know does the lamest thing possible

[oddlittlestories]

Listening to Street Race to the Death while driving is an otherworldly experience

[warty-hog-legacy]

[girlbob-boypants]

Youtuber I watch: Now I'm on edge. And not in a good way.

Me, minding my business at work:

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

[emotional-piece-of-meat]

Tim & Damian: *do the siblings bounding aka fights with their feet while minding their own business*

Bruce, randomly entering the room: Did you two do the thing I told you to do?

Tim, having no idea what they needed to do: pff, obviously.

Damian, also having no idea what they needed to do: we wouldn't let you down, father.

Bruce: good.

Bruce: *stands like a dad in complete silence for a while and then leaves them panicking about the task they forgot about*

Literally in the next room.

Dick, hanging from the chandelier: why don't you ever clarify their task?

Jason, suspiciously peacefully reading in the corner: yeah, just remind them what they need to do.

Bruce, with his fucked up sense of humour: Oh, they didn't have any task, I'm just messing with them.

Dick, having flashbacks of how he and Jason were losing their shit every single time, trying to remember what they need to do: that's... Pure evil...

Jason, remembering that one time he almost cried because he thought he was a failure and Bruce was going to disown him: YOU MOTHERFUCKER!

[liquidstar]

genuinely this is the funniest joke in the series so far to me

[dead-gay-angel]

insane that there are rumors for a reboot of a show that ended only 3 years ago

[nebulousbrainsoup]

I just had this exchange:

me: i have a thought--

the moots: oh no

and it feels like i've hit a fic writer milestone. like i swear i heard the "achievement unlocked!" noise

[evelynpr]

Congratulations My Hero Academia for providing, possibly, the biggest and longest legit straightbaiting yet in shonen history.

Bonus points that their final chapter was released on yaoi day.

[closetsof-backlogged-dreams]

as sad and disappointing as this is, look me in the eyes and tell me that this isnt the absolute funniest shit youve ever seen. like, they changed their bio to ONE vaguely implicative sentence and posted some promo statement about where you can find it on streaming services, and this little shitty cockroach fandom (affectionate) absolutely BLOWS THE FUCK UP. like, within the span of 2-3 days, we completely took over tumblr so that this 15-year-old fandom was trending, their twitter account gained roughly 6k followers, and everyone is theorizing about a season six a reboot a spin-off a red white and royal blue crossover every thing under the SUN and it literally gets so bad that the poor intern (thats probably gotten two hours of sleep this week and is running solely on celsius and coffee) and the two-person marketing team that managed this whole thing had to scramble to clarify that WE'RE NOT ACTUALLY DOING ANYTHING WE'RE JUST ADVERTISING THE SHOW AGAIN

like. thats the funniest shit EVER.

[bet-on-me-13]

Danny holds an Intervention for Brucie Wayne.

So! Danny is the head of R&D at WayneTech, and he often works closely with Bruce and Lucius when they want him to make "Proof of Concept" Gadgets and Vehicles. He doesn't question the absurdity of some of the stuff he builds, he was raised by Mad Scientists after all, all of it seems perfectly normal to him!

But he has noticed something concerning about his Boss.

He really needs to get his Partying in control. Every time he comes into work he has eyebags covered by makeup, some bruises from tripping while drunk, and he is always super cagey about what he did last night. Danny asked some of his coworkers about it, and they noticed it too.

They also bring up that he sometimes comes into work with a really foggy mind, which is probably the aftereffects of doing some kind of drugs at whatever party he was at the previous night.

Even his Hangovers seem really bad! Worse than usual, but he powers through them and keeps acting like his normal Himbo self! Danny realizes that Bruce needs to calm down. He has Kids to take care of, and Alfred needs less work on his plate

So he contacts a bunch if Bruce's Friends, his Family, and even a few coworkers who brought up their concerns to him, and he stages an Intervention.

...

Bruce didn't know what to expect when he walked into the conference room at Wayne Enterprises. He had been called in by Danny, his head of R&D, for a Meeting earlier that day, but Danny had failed to explain the purpose of the Meeting.

He had barely made it on time. He had spent the entire night chasing down Scarecrow, and a slip up had caused him to get hit by some Fear Toxin, which took forever to work its way out of his system. It didn't help that the Antidote gave him a splitting headache.

Bruce opened the door to the Conference Room, and was met with a mishmash of faces. Clark was sitting close to the head of the Table, with Lois at his right, and Diana to hers. In the crowed he could also see Dick and Steph holding in barely contained laughter, with Tim looking a little lost to the side. Damian looked as if he would rather be anywhere else, Duke was looking as list as Tim, and Cass was just smirking at him with a look of amusement.

He could also see the faces of various employees of Wayne Enterprises, among them being Lucius and Tam.

What was going on?

The door closed behind him, and he turned to see Danny standing behind him.

"Bruce, this is an Intervention."

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 226

"Mother. Mother. Mom. Mum. Mother. Mom-"

Danny sighed as Dan did his best to annoy him, no doubt revenge for the child leash. Which wouldn't have been needed if not for his continued attempts to go off on his own.

As a five year old.

Which wasn't going to happen, no thanks. They had to deal with people trying to kidnap them as "elf people" or something in this dimension already. Ancients, can't people let him travel with his kids for vacation in peace?!