#hilarious astrology
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saganssorcery · 8 months ago
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pagingdoctorbitchcraft · 5 months ago
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Modern Planetary Rulership Erasure Rant.
Astrologers who refuse to acknowledge modern planetary rulers are basically our community’s version of boomers.
To ignore change is to ignore progress or something deep idk.
Sure, take into account which planet ruled what before we could properly explore space, valid. It’s fine if your astrological practice is one way, but it’s another to tell people that modern rulership is bs or “fake” in some way.
Just flat out refusing to agree with people who say, for example, “oh neptune is doing this thing, watch out pisces folks” is so lame lmao. Like I’ve seen people selling chart readings that actively refuse to include these planets. You don’t even have to agree tbh, just scroll away!!! It’s free!!! 💀
Y’all are the ones excluding a whole huge chunk of information and context from your chart readings. And I don’t mean to act like y’all and talk down on how you do things (though it seems you’re overdue for a taste of your own medicine), but it’s kinda just the truth. So much depth is added to a reading by acknowledging the newer parts of our solar system. Not to mention, popular opinion seems to be that the modern planets make more sense ruling the signs that they do. Might be simpler if y’all just say y’all wanna be different/contrarians, no? Lmao.
Even weirder is the people who do this, who have some kind of superiority complex about it 💀 like yes, congrats, you’re several decades behind the rest of us. You’re soooo much better at astrology than the rest of us??? Because that makes sense???
Reddit is particularly full of these obnoxious astro-boomers. People will ask a question ab what neptune is affecting in their chart and the astro-boomers descend and start spouting shit like “I don’t consider neptune in my readings blah blah blah”. If you don’t know, don’t comment 💀
Things are forever evolving and changing, no matter the area of life. Either get on our level, or don’t. But don’t be a dick about it. When you’re a dick about it, then I have to be a dick about it and no one wants that 💀
& That’s on trickle-down dickonomics. Lmao.
Don’t even get me started on the major asteroids.
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flannyjanny · 11 months ago
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crystaltoa · 1 year ago
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Sometimes, the context makes the "He would Not Fucking Say That" dialogue the only reasonable option.
Nuju, in any Earth-based human AU, would be the first person to tell you astrology is a load of crap. You think you can predict the future using the position of the stars? He will laugh in your face and then give you a two hour rant about why it's total BS.
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fvckastrology · 7 months ago
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advice for the rising signs 🌅
do people still use tumblr?
aries: unclench your jaw sis
taurus: put some jewelry on, you showered today right?
gemini: pick ONE person in your phone and stop leading on the rest my guy
cancer: apologize to them!!!! you know who!
leo: nothing baby you’re perfect (saving myself an argument here)
virgo: drink your probiotics, baby bubblegut ily
libra: stop cheating on your gf/bf/theyf
scorpio: take a yoga class, fucking chill bro
sagittarius: opposite of scorpio, don’t chill, straighten up, get it together messy bitch
capricorn: order a pizza, take a day off, rob a bank, who knows?
aquarius: go to the library and learn to sit with your thoughts….. QUIETLY.
pisces: throw away your vape & block him
disclaimer: i’m not a licensed advice-giver, you are not a sim you have free will & autonomy xo
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docholligay · 1 month ago
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Would love to hear a little about how you decided characters birthdays while you don't care for astrology, seems interesting
I call my approach to astrology, "Astrology isn't real but Fareeha Amari is a Capricorn."
So any choice about when to have a character be born is MOSTLY chance. As annoyed as I am, and as much as I absolutely will not change my birthdays for the characters, which I settled on long long before Blizzard remembered that people are born on specific days, it's regrettably true that my choices are not INHERENTLY superior*
Anyway! I use a book, actually. A hilarious, stupid book, that I found in a coffee shop before beeb was born, when I used to spend every shabbat morning reading in a coffee shop. I went and bought a copy because I thought it was so fun.
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So I went through it and basically matched my conception of the overwatch crew's personalities to the days, until i found one that was "right".
So, Lena, in my world, August 13th: (also the start date of the Battle of Britain!)
The Day of Long Odds
"...those born on August 13th at various times in their lives have to face seemingly insurmountable odds to come out on top and stay there.
'...although they can occasionally suffer from quite deep depressions, understandably, and feel beaten down by life, they more often maintain a cheerful, buoyant disposition...and manage to remain friendly, open, and above all, active.
"Many August 13 people have an attraction to danger that is not so much about risking death or injury, but triumphing over great odds. Achieving the impossible is what they are after."
"Those born on this day who recognize and take pleasure in how unusual they are are unlikely to even bother with [a lot of words for traditional progressive success] but prefer to cut their own strange path through life"
Their world, February 17:
"Because of criticism, expectations, or perhaps neglect, February 17 people come to realize very soon in their childhood that their sensitive natures will not survive unless they strengthen their defenses...such defenses may manifest primarily as secretiveness, suspicion, and armoring."
"Those born on this day do not wish to be hindered in their quest for self-fulfillment, so often they ignore what could be desirable human contact to avoid getting stuck or bogged down."
"They have an impressive earthiness, calm and physical presence which makes others sit up and take notice"
Obviously I am not criticizing them for not matching the book, because they are not USING the book, but you can see how I would never have picked such a day for Lena.
I'm not going to bore you with everyone, but my day for Fareeha, December 30th, is like "For them, it is important that the best possible job be done." "December 30 people hate mess and chaos." "They must be aware of dogmatically adhering to fixed principles"
So I think it's a great book for stuff like this because it gives some reason to pick a birthday that is good for human beings named Doc who are me, despite being upper level weird astrology.
*They are because I made them and I am the best OW person ever.
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trashcanwithsprinkles · 9 months ago
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What’s your favorite bit of lore? Or favorite holiday/festival in genshin they’re pretty neat
i'm absolutely biased towards lantern rite tbh
as for bit of lore, i'm not really sure. i feel like 'bit of lore' is really weird to define, bc ultimately most lore is all connected into bigger pictures. obviously i'm partial towards liyue lore in general, but as for a specific little bit...
probably still the possibility that zhongli is partial to archery.
#thank you <3 <3#i know his passive talent is for crafting spears but like#the only reason why that talent is for spears specifically is bc he is a polearm user. nowhere in the talent itself nor other related media#do we get a mention of zhongli being particularly good at crafting polearms over other weapon types#we know he made the pwjs and the jade cutter. he didn't make jadefall but he did wield it. he also made summit shaper#we can assume he made vortex vanquisher n the unforged but there's no real confirmation on either. we do know he didn't make memory of dust#assuming he did make those last two that's still an equal number of polearms and swords he made. more swords if you wanna count the unforge#ofc he could've made countless op polearms off-camera. but we're never told that#dainsleif's factoid abt the talent is more about zhongli knowing his rocks than zhongli being a good polearm maker in specific#and the skill's name in chinese is more about astrology and divination than anything else. again more on zhongli knows his rocks#so like- we don't know that he had a mastery over crafting polearms in specific#and we know he wielded catalysts and polearms and likely swords as well#and still#the only real imagery on his design on what weapon he uses#is a fucking archery ring. nowhere is it mentioned that zhongli uses bows (that we know of)#yet he wears that thing on the daily. like he still uses it. like he needs to literally keep it on hand. why#why would he do that if he apparently does not historically use bows.#only thing i can think of is that he still practices archery. over any other weapon type. which is a hilarious thought tbh#but more crack theory than anything
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oceancoresunset · 1 year ago
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Mf it’s cancerian season you better be nice to my crustacean ass
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astro-tag-9 · 6 months ago
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Hello🌸💕
Can you, please, do the caracter gift to me🌸
Sun Capricorn VII
Moon Capricorn VII
Ascendant Gemini
Venus Sagittarius
Thank youuu😇🙏🏽🌸
🌸 Hilary Banks 🌸
(Fresh Prince of Bel Air)
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astrobydalia · 2 years ago
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I just find it so funny how some astrologers are like "if a major aspect is above 1ºorb it is not significant!" meanwhile you got people panicking over a random sesquiquadrate of 3ºorb
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sixthwater · 1 year ago
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Natives with a 6H Venus when people say they're always romantically involved with their co-workers
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yellowfingcr · 9 months ago
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false starcaller
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flannyjanny · 11 months ago
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seafoamreadings · 8 months ago
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when i was at the beginning of grad school and struggling a lot i would always (half) joke that if physics didn't work out at least there's always astrology lol.
now that i'm at my last class of my phd and struggling again i make this joke even more i think, because i've also gotten more astrology knowledge and more of a following on here. obviously i'm not going to quit at this late stage when i'm just struggling and in no danger of actually being kicked out or anything, i would just retake the course. but.
yall physics is hard, i love it and i'm glad i'm learning it and i don't mind not being the smartest one in the room but astrology comes to me much more naturally. if you want to contribute to my temptation to become a professional woowoo lady, the best ways you can support me against my fear of student loan debt is join my patreon or buy readings from me
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istra-ish-sucha-geek · 10 months ago
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Henceforth I shall only be referring to stars as “gaslighting” because stars are gas that emits light.
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jaiminiastro · 8 months ago
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For more information visit our website
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