#high ruminations

[rosethornewrites]

Last August, when my cat died, a bunch of stuff happened around that same time.

My mom came down to my apartment to support me, but she had to bring my two eldest niblings, 16yo and 13yo, too.

My niblings are biracial, and their fathers are black. I am white, but I try very hard to stay educated on racial justice.

It’s important to note that I lived in Indiana at the time, in a small city that was a liberal bastion, but with a surrounding area that produced caravans of Trump supporters who would drive onto campus en masse on weekend nights to try to harass the students.

However, my niblings grew up in the Minnesota North Woods where things were a mite different when it comes to racism. Still racist, but a different flavor than what I’m familiar with from where I’ve lived. So they had no context for Indiana’s racism.

And so it happened that my mom decided she needed to go to an urgent care for something she’d been putting up with for a while, and she wanted to go to one in a small town south of the city. Because of course that’s how my life goes.

On the way, we passed a thrift store with a confederate flag trinket proudly on display in their window. The niblings liked how some of the dolls in the window looked and asked if we could stop, and I told them no.

I had to explain the confederate flag to them, and that especially in Indiana it’s a racist symbol since Indiana is the birthplace of the KKK.

In the wait for my mom to see a doctor, I tried to entertain the girls, but we went into one of those feed stores that has baby chicks, and things got very shaky very fast.

Two men entered the store. One was wearing a confederate flag bandana.

I quietly told the kids not to look at them, to stay together and behind me and not wander.

It was necessary. The guys split up and circled us as we went through the store. I kept my posture dominant and made it clear I noticed them and knew their bullshit the whole time. We didn’t shorten our trip and leave, but I was very aware that these guys wanted to intimidate us.

I was lucky the girls listened to me.

On the way out, I bought sodas for us with my credit card, specifically to leave an electronic trail as a just in case, then loaded the girls in the car, getting in last. Didn’t pull out until they did, and immediately went to the video-surveilled urgent care parking lot.

I’m not saying these guys would have gone out of their way to do anything, but if I or the kids made it easy they’d take advantage of the opening.

I’d shelved the incident for later processing, and it came up while I was smoking a bowl tonight.

Only other time I’ve been that full of adrenaline was when I was with two kids (I was the eldest) in an ill-advised adventure in a cow pasture, and the steers took an interest in us and never again. People do get killed by cows, after all.

As I’m starting to get better, my memories are coming back a bit, slowly.

There’s so much I had to just push aside for later, and I’m still getting stuff from the age of 11-13 back, which were very bad years for my depression.

[yandere-daydreams]

hi. so this is kind of a random musing that doesn't have anything to do with what youve been talking abt on your blog recently so feel free to ignore it, but i love how you write yandere nanami and between going live and an ask one of my followers sent me i kinda had a revelation. i wanted to see if you had any thoughts.

i think that before meeting reader nanami would be a virgin.

even if were talking non yandere nanami, i don't think he's ever had sex. i can't see nanami being the kind of person who likes hookup culture - he doesn't want to be used by someone - but i don't think he'd be able to justify getting in a romantic relationship because his job is so dangerous. he wouldn't want to die one day and leave his partner widowed. so he stays celibate, he's come to terms with the fact that he'll die untouched.

(he just jerks himself to freaky ass porn to get his fix (maybe even a camgirl hehe))

at least, until he meets a woman who makes all of his morality fly out the window.

suddenly, his sex drive is higher then ever. he's cumming into his fist every night to the thought of this special girl doing abhorrent things on his dick. he loves her. he's never loved someone this much in his entire life so she has to be the one to deflower him. that's probably one of the most romantic things someone can do in his mind, so it has to be her. she's his soulmate

all of this to say, i think nanami would kidnap reader and force her to teach him how to have sex through some fucked up means. it just tickles something in me imagining how stupidly giddy he'd be, so unabashedly pathetic as he undresses a woman for the first time.

like, him holding her hand with his forehead pressed to hers, cumming inside of her, jumping through as many mental hurdles necessary to justify what he's doing (or maybe just not caring bc she'll come around eventually, right?)

i love your work. thank you for listening to my ramble. <3

tw - non/con, kidnapping, manipulation, delusional behavior.

no no no i agree entirely,,, no amount of propaganda can convince me that any of the jjk men every had their dicks touched before the age of twenty-five at least, with nanami probably being the worst offender among them. i mean, he doesn't really connect with people outside of the sorcerer world, not really, not in a meaningful enough way to lead to that kind of intimacy, and as for other sorcerers... no. just no. he'd rather die a virgin than resort to anything as desperate as that, which is quickly becoming a very tangible reality.

and then he meets you (or, alternative, stumbled onto your stream at some ungodly hour, his cock already in his hand and his pleasure-deprived brain frantic for something soft and pliable to latch onto), and he decides that it might not be so bad to consider alternatives after all.

i can see it going one of two ways: if he has any reason at all to believe that you're also a virgin, whether or not it's true, he'll immediately lose all patience. if that wasn't the case, he might be able to take his time, stalk you for a few months before consummating your blooming relationship, but now he's on a clock, now he has to get to you before someone else does. he still tries to make it romantic, lights candles and brings you flowers and all that, but he's rushed, panicked, babbling incoherently about 'being each other's firsts' as he haphazardly undresses you. it's a miracle he remembers to do any prep at all - he's just in such a rush to be inside of you, to be the first and only person to every know what it's like to fully, genuinely actually be with you. if there's any pain, he'll comfort you later, make up for two and a half decades of abstinence with his tongue and hands, but only after he's already ruined you for anyone else.

if you're not a virgin and he can't make himself believe you are, then he'd probably go a little less absolutely feral (at first, i mean). don't get me wrong, you're still getting kidnapped asap, but rather than a beacon of innocence and purity that he can taint, you're the corruption forcing him to fall from grace, and he's going to want you to act like it. he's got a list of virginities he needs to to take (his first handjob, his fist blowjob, the first hickey, etc.), and between every milestone, he's going to want you to teach him how to pleasure you, even if you're still insisting you'd rather not let him touch you at all. he wants your full participation - it doesn't matter how many times he makes you cum on his tongue while you're sobbing into your pillow and trying to block him out, he's not going to stop until he hears your sweet voice encouraging with the little 'right there, kento's and 'good boy's he's made you rehearse. by the time you actually take his virginity, he's going to have made you feel dirtier than you ever could've made him feel, but so long as he's the one you're feeling dirty with, nanami doesn't really mind. not when he's buried inside you, his chest pressed into yours and he's too lost in his own pleasure to think the tears staining your cheeks are anything but beautiful.

anyway loser virgin nanami you will live forever. perhaps loser virgin gojo will pay for his crimes next.

[theonewhowails]

rotating this fucked up cat in my head like a rotisserie chicken

[twinstxrs]

there’s probably something deeply wrong with me because every time i see someone react to the pok gukgak interrogation scene it’s like “oh no oh my god is riz’s dad a bad guy?” when the first time i saw that scene my only thought was “oh my god is riz’s dad HOT??”

[caseyshutup]

haven’t posted here in a while, trying to forget the trainwreck that is clone high season 2

[clowningaroundmars]

working on this hobie1610 thing... but i also have a lil gwen and miles42 thing floating around in my head too..... weehhhh

@starcut-sand you inspire me TOO MUCH!!! CUT THAT OUT!!!! /lh

[corpium]

Took a DnD alignment quiz and got true neutral and my brother was like “huh. I thought you’d be chaotic good,” and I’m like “sure, to YOU, but basically everyone else can go fuck themselves,” and really, I think that demonstrates how accurate the test is.

[lokh]

ahh when i did some long ass test for personality disorders and the psychologist was like 'you don't get results like this unless u were emotionally neglected. were u emotionally neglected' and I was like Shrug. apparently so

[grimweathers]

hey quick question what does it mean when you pull the exact same tarot card in reverse twice in 3 days after plenty of shuffling and flipping random cards upside down just asking for a friend!!!!!!!

[todayisafridaynight]

any hopes for kiwami 3? like things u wanna see added or changed stuff like that

if they dont keep kiryu's goofy walk stance and the hoof-like walk sounds i dont wanna play it

[starcloud-nova]

i actually think i’m a little obsessed with time loops

[ivorypiano]

had a really good day today :)

[yandere-daydreams]

Tbh I don't think Gojo is a virgin by the mere fact that he probably pulled one of those "practice sex with your bestie before getting a proper partner so you don’t suck as it" that he saw in a hentai with Geto

no because the exact Thing gojo and geto have going on is so precious and specific to me. do i think that they're soulmates who have a deeply romantic connection that neither of them could ever truly let go of, even if they were forced to move past it? yes. do i know that gojo satoru did not know he could touch his dick before the age of twenty-three? also yes. they definitely seem like the type of freaks who would ""practice"" jerking off together, but i cannot shake the unwavering belief that the furthest they ever physically got was, like, some chaste hand-holding between classes. i don't know why they both reek of virgin but tragically they do.

[antimonyantigone]

I do like reading a bunch of an authors work st once and finding these things like I'm sure they're caught up on

[superfluouskeys]

torn between setting a low goal or a high goal for camp nano 🤔

[spamtoon]

(Out of nowhere, you are approached by a familiar lightbulb-headed Cog.)

Ah, it's you, cat. Thinking you're oh-so-slick. Muttering and whispering under those raggedy whiskers of yours... Thinking I am unable to hear it all...

Well, you've simply underestimated my fantastic hearing. You probably want to know the reason why I'm here, taking a 'break' from my incredibly important scientific breakthroughs? It's quite simple, really!

(She gets close, and squints her eyes.)

I know what you are.

Farewell, now!

(She then leaves the way she came from.)

(Spam giggles immensely, covering her face... it always seems like she's giggling, isn't she? This lasts... at least thirty seconds. Longer than usual.)

And I know what I am too, Sparky! You broke through something, that's for sure. Really, broke through...

(She looks down, continuing to laugh nervously.)

You know, I find it odd you Havent tried to bulb blast me into the stratosphere by now. I mean knowing how you acted with Frostbite. Is there something peculiar about me that you perhaps can't quite track? Something about me that you... don't know what I am?

I know, I know, I'm talking to nobody again. But you were there when I had a moment today with the one the only Frostbite The Bravecog. You may be remaining. Lurking in the shadows. Knowing about these thoughts that I'm thinking.

(The giggling resumes, lasting far shorter this time.)

Your brother's a piece of fucking barp, by the way

(She braces for impact for a few seconds, wincing while smiling, before comically looking around to realize nobody's there. She sighs.)

Wow, okay maybe toony superhero show logic doesn't apply in this situation. Cool.

WAIT I JUST FUCKING REALIZED WHAT SHE MEANT but like. Dude if she meant that then what's the point I mean the whole ahh sellbot department barping knows unless you're Really low on the ladder. Heheh... maybe she did mean what I thought she meant.

Oh i'm so fucking screwed. What kind of bitch gets filament fever