#hi sorry for the dump im just . . so confused rn

[monsterrae1]

✨Inspiration saturday ✨

Tagged by @tizniz @spotsandsocks @loserdiaz @buckaroosheart @disasterbuckdiaz

I'm trying very hard to finish demon Buck just cause it's been sitting on my drafts forever and honestly i'm even dreaming about it, so yeah here have a moodboard.

Tiny snippet to go with it:

“Everything okay?” Eddie asked, taking his hand and pulling him into the house.

“Yeah, I just, wasn’t sure you’d want me around so soon after I dumped all my trauma on you last night,” He was chewing his lip in a nervous way, his eyes refusing to meet Eddie’s.

“Why wouldn’t I? Besides you didn’t dump anything on me, I asked you to share.”

Buck nodded, “You trusted me to take care of Chris and I turned into a sob story, I shouldn’t have done that.”

Eddie sighed, “You also fed him, and kept him entertained all afternoon, and happy; I should’ve asked if you were okay with watching him before even asking you, I’m sorry I didn’t think about that.”

Buck finally looked up to him and tilted his head like a confused puppy, “You’re too kind to me, Eddie.”

Eddie shook his head, “C’mon, we can watch a few episodes of Supernatural before we need to pick up Chris.”

Buck groaned just like Eddie knew he would, complaining that the show was so inaccurate it made his infernal blood boil.

“Complain all you want bud, one of their rituals is what brought you here.”

“Whatever,” He said, rolling his eyes and pressing play on the TV. 

Tagging if they have anything they'd like to share: @hoodie-buck @buddierights @honestlydarkprincess @bigfootsmom @underwater-ninja-13 @heartshapedvows @eddiebabygirldiaz @prettyboybuckley @rogerzsteven @elvensorceress @malewifediaz @watchyourbuck @spaceprincessem @spagheddiediaz @hippolotamus and anyone else who wants to (i'm blanking so hard rn on everyones url im sorry)

[enlighten3d]

I thought it was pretty clear how Ken became maskless: Death is the Cure

with that context, I do think that happened pretty recently, given that the guard was talking about the mission to kill Ken was recent, and also none of the destruction outside was fixed

also, the I Have Escaped Every Prison (for now) is in the lore playlist, making me think that those escapes were at least mostly canon, and they were mostly done from outside of the prisons (including an escape from Gaia's Vault IBSMISOW that takes several months). This would fit better as escapes that happened before he got the mask (also the train escape memories included these sorts of escapes)

the mask does seem to erase some memories, as seen with Wato's confusion when dumped into the escape room in kww colab (as seen in Wato's video on how to make an escape room, which I think follows his memories), and also everything with Omz. (Though both were when they wore the mask)

However in Death is the Cure, Ken lost all his memories, which seems more like the memory thing in the Train Escape, especially since the cell probably isn't his respawn point. Also Sven's memory thing seems derived from the mask's power, given that it uses a hopper.

so the timeline that I see is 1: they kill Ken, 2: find him and erase memories, 3: Death is the Cure 4: get him to the train 5: Train Escape

(Also the last thing I remember Ken saying about Daedalus Escape is that it's never coming out unless lore won in a poll, and it absolutely lost)

(this is in reply to my theory about how the mask doesnt actually cause memory loss; here)

okay, fascinating. good point about the destruction outside not being fixed.. hadnt thought about that! okay so i guess then one could say that they lost the mask recently, but. thats still fucking odd to me. because why else would the guard mention that theyve tried to contain him in like. Many Different Prisons, out of which theyve all escaped. dont see any reason why theyd actively be trying to contain him beforeee the Destruction? so. whenever it was that they lost the mask, they deffo were captured a Bit ago, id say. even tho the destruction is recent. i guess with all the devastation, ppl hadnt gotten around to fixing it up? i dont know, mate. but. them losing the mask recently doesnt make that much sense (even w how you mentioned that all the escape videos were probably Beforehand. like. sorry i am not good at articulating this point.)

yeah were pretty much in agreement! that how ken loses all their memories is the memory cannon (which, yeah id be willing to believe is somehow connected to the hoppers, given the hopper in it)

them dying while captured in order to lose the mask is like. a necessity for shit to make sense, but. the person who killed them would then have the mask. and we dont see anyone w the mask... and someone else getting the mask would be dangerous. im. what im saying here is that we know HOW ken loses the mask (via dying to the ppl trying to capture + stop him from destroying everything), but not to WHO.

OKAY NOW THE HTING ABT WATO. this is bothering me in general. bcs yes ik that watos kww videos do show that their memories got MASSIVELYYY fucked w after they lost the mask, but. i remember that in the livestream after the original videos were released, it was mentioned how watos videos are the least likely to be canon. personally im just. kind of ignoring it rn, ill worry abt it later.

i really dont think the mask causes memory loss because- omz, when he lost the mask, was NOT acting like someone who just lost fuck knows how long worth of memories. he acts like someone who was AWARE the whole time and finally was released from a Curse that he was actively fighting against. i really dont think that he lost his memories. i really personally dont think the mask causes memory loss, imo its all the memory cannon thing? we DO know that hoppers can cause memory loss (as per the dementia cannon we see in the omziscool finale (or the hopper escape? i forget which one)). its all the hoppers, not the mask. the mask is like... the conduit for the hoppers power? doesnt cause memory loss on its own.

so w the wato thing, i. genuinely dont know. its tripping me the fuck up. bcs theres also. ken forgot EVERYTHIING about who they were when blasted w the memory cannon (in the train escape and prolly right before death is the cure). wato did NOT forget everything abt who she was. they remembered bits and pieces.. almost like how omz remembered everything while he was under the masks power, but its... distorted in watos case.

best i can say there is that theres an external force of some sort playing there? prolly some evilfies bs. its reasonable to blame everything that makes no sense in kww collab onto evilfies LMAO

another thing: how the FUCK did the mask get from whoever killed ken to wato? bcs. we can very very reasonably assume that the mask cannot be taken off the person wearing it. the person has to be killed, and then whoever kills them gets the mask. and then wreaks havoc. so whoever got the mask from ken WOULD have been wearing it and WOULD be up to no good. so. we dont know Anything about that. evilfies ig /hj

in conclusion: OUR THEORIES ARE VERY VERY SIMILAR. sorry if i worded anth wrong in that theory post sdhlfjaksdf. ALSO SORRY IF I WAS JUST REPEATING MYSELF OVER AND OVER IN THIS REPLY; I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS

the timeline imo (theres two places that ken couldve lost the mask, so ill write it twice): - ken kills omz - gets the mask - Mass Destruction - [someone kills ken and gets the mask from them] - ken gets put in a few prisons out of which they escape - [someone kills ken and gets the mask from them] - bcs they keep escaping, their memory is wiped using svens (hopper-powered) memory erasing cannon - death is the cure (destruction outside hasnt been fixed yet ig? maybe ken temporarily escaped...) - train escape (during which their memory gets erased at least once)

its. flimsy. but the different ways that ppl lose their memory in this lore (aka the forgetting Eveyrhitng of the memory cannon vs the Most Things Of A Specific Time Period that wato forgets supposedly due to the mask) really make me doubt that the mask causes memory loss. shrugs

(also RIPPP on the daedalus thing. that is tragic ): )

[luckyqueenreign]

LITG: Double Trouble EP 8 Recap

HERE WE GO!!! spoilers underneath!

ok now that I think of it...with 5 guys coming in for casa I guess we do have the same amount of bombshells for guys and girls. WHOOPSIE!!! still shocked a girl is going home!! and still have no idea who theyre gonna choose 😬

"steady grace...its a public vote. it sucks thinking someones going home" Ozzy are u thinking about mc???

awww Amelia tbh I would be SHOCKED if she was dumped tonight. it cant be double trouble without the double! aww the good old days option is cute...little twin sleepovers, missing prom to sit around eating and gossiping. they seemed super tight...I wonder what happened 👀 OZZY my guy...I love you sm BUT WHY INTERRUPT NOW WHEN SHE CLEARLY NEEDS TO CONFESS SOMETHING TO US??? is Amelia not who we think?!?!? 👀😩🫣

at least it was Ozzy tho, if it were literally anyone else I would be so mad at fb rn...as a Noah girly this Ozzy route is already SO MUCH BETTER. we get the angst, we get the little looks but Ozzy is actually pulling us for chats and letting us know where his head is at. It's confused but still we never got that from Noah. I always felt like I was the one chasing him around the villa. OBVIOUSLY im gonna flirt it up with Ozzy!! eeek sorry grace im moving in for a kiss. OK as much as I hate that he pulled away I kind of love that he's trying to be a respectful king 😭 EEEK Grace 😬😬😬 the worst part about this route really is ruining my budding friendship with grace. I wish Ozzy was coupled with Ivy would be so much easier 😭

Couples Quiz!! Roberto better get every question right since he came in knowing every tiny little thing about us 🙄 awww Ozzyyy 😭😭 Jamals fear being pigeons is so funny to me. slow and sensual...noted Bella! Lewie's a giver....also noted! they needed to bring the toe sucking in at some point...we all knew it was bound to happen and the restrain to only have it in the third volume is honestly impressive ill give fb that.

ahhhh ok fb all the answers were from my chats with the girls earlier got itttt. then Roberto is gonna ace too because he knew everything about mc on the date. Roberto's how do u say it...phallic? now im reading this in an accent and hes even cuter lol 😭 wait whattt lol how did Roberto get that wrong??? A scientist?? the man came in knowing every single tiny detail about MC INCLUDING HER JOB!!! HE MENTIONED IT ON THE DATE THAT IT WAS SIMILAR TO HIS SISTER'S!!! and he cant remember it here??? BOOOOO FB!

of course she picks Lewie for her date....can ivy just go now... obvi going to put her in her place.

EEEK Grace wants a chat.....ugh so not looking forward to this. wait Grace lolol you just came and said Ozzy is pulling away, somethings obvi up with him and I tell you he said he'd be sad if I left and theres something more there and you LAUGH??? lol im sorry but now she cant say I didnt tell her later...

still playing the middle ground with Roberto...did ask him if hes ever been in love..he said once a while ago.

the amount of snooping MC is doing this season is sooo good lol. lets not tell anyone about what happened??? What happened Lewie????

I reallyyyy need an option to skip the getting ready chat. I need it to be MC what are u wearing and immediately show me the closet.

[thedragonsfate]

anyway I'm just gonna dump some fantasy High stuff here bc work got cancelled coz of the snow/ice and I'm rewatching freshman year rn

- riz/fabian qpr? VERY different story for me than romantic involvement. give me that very particular friendship give me that "this is confusing" for riz bc he knows he's not ~into~ fabian and he's terrified of fabian being into him but also he just wants needs HAS to be closer to him than his other friends and them navigating together what exactly that means. also bc I just. adore when fabian gives away that he 100% considers riz to be his best friend it's always v sweet and meaningful even when it's silly im

- sorry but I just have to believe that for a small time in freshman year fabian has a crush on adaine and that played a small part in his reaction to aelwyn being her sister

- that being said the boy is Not straight I like bi fabian I like pan fabian I like gay comphet fabian I like gay repressed fabian give me any queer fabian you've got my stamp of approval

- also bc I DO agree that fabian probably had a small crush on riz at somepoint as well that would eventually turn into a v different but still intense and loving partnership

- which is fun to think abt bc sophomore year DID fully convert me into a fabragh shipper, and ragh is very very different than both riz and adaine in terms of like. post-bully/post-being groomed/post a year of counseling w Jawbone Era ragh is so emotionally open and intelligent and vulnerable I feel like (things that riz and adaine aren't necessarily NOT, but definitely not in the public way that ragh is) and in that ragh is genuinely just not a very smart guy - which is in direct opposition to adaine and riz as the two big research bad kids yk. they really are the two who love to learn with a hunger for knowledge. they both love to KNOW things (albeit in slightly different ways) also theyre both v sarcastic and straightforward, whereas ragh is someone who I feel like reacts to situation just as straightforward but with more genuine emotion, and with a simple minded approach to the world that just screams genuineness

- I like fabian finding that the part of him drawn to that hunger for knowledge and a little bitchiness and Knowing Things can be sated in his friendships but particularly in a qpr with riz, and also finding that in terms of a romantic partner, having someone who knows the depths of toxic masculinity repressing your emotions who also actively draws vulnerability out of the people around him through exhibiting his own/ his own acceptance of those harder feelings- is someone REALLY good for fabian. and finding that being as attentive and admiring and uplifting to his partner as fabian can be is something really good for ragh considering raghs past relationships

- anyway obvs I'm not the biggest fan of fabian and aelwyn at the end of soph year but also I think it's something that wouldn't last v long anyway and I think it's maybe good for leading them both into making a pivot into more deliberate self care and discovery

- also just. care a LOT abt fig and gorgugs friendship. underrated best friends. maybe not underrated there's so much fan content I've yet to explore but yk what I mean. from the first few episodes? they are Best Friends. gorgug and fabian and ragh have a fun important jock friend dynamic and ofc gorgug has an important relationship with Zelda but I fully believe wholeheartedly that fig is gorgugs best friend. fig also has her important relationships - ayda, adaine, Kristen (or. honestly fig has a v particular friendship with every bad kid that I value SUPER highly. she cares a LOT) but gorgug was her first ride or die and there's a lot that can be shared between two people who can quietly admit just how much they CARE.

- damn now I'm thinking abt fig too much

- also fig and fabians relationship changing as gilear and hallariel get more serious and fabian accepts gilear into his family unit a bit more - fig was SO full speed ahead abt gorgug or riz being her brother to have fabian actually kind of fall into that position? amazing incredible

- fig also becoming pseudo sisters with adaine and aelwyn??? also very important???

- fig and riz kind of potentially becoming siblings????? CHAOS and also PERFECTION maybe it's just the Emily Murph chemistry but there's something so particularly FUN abt these two. and also. this connection of having been the. two at the beginning of sophomore year nabbed to fulfill that first part of getting kalina and later the abernants etc a way into the forest of the nightmare king

- I'll admit I have a harder time pinning Kristen down in my head post sophomore year. I think I need to fully explore what I think it looks like for Kristen to Fully Understand what Tracker is expressing she needs, and letting herself look outside of herself a little more. she's had so much battle within herself in terms of self acceptance and world views shattering and religious and spiritual journey that. I think she just hasn't gotten old enough yet to FULLY experience looking outside of herself. not necessarily in a selfish way but also a little bit? Kristen's not the only one struggling with this necessarily but I think she is the one who's struggling with it the MOST

- if anybody actually reads this and has any good fic recommendations exploring Kristen and tracker separately and together post sophomore year when tracker goes on her mission with ragh PLEASE hit me up

- nothing I can say abr riz will ever be as poignant as the post abt his bloody hands.

- adaine having family in a semi traditional sense??? also extremely important to me. to see her and jawbone like. doing parent kid stuff together on purpose to build memories with one another? adaine and aelwyn being awkward hovery unsure sisters as they both work on continuing recovery? adaine being a guiding influence in aelwyns life, and supporting her through a new family landscape and personal landscape and disability landscape when she is able and helping aelwyn find therapy and jawbone and other adults and peers to lean on as well to flush out that support system she never had? adaine getting to settle even further into her growing network of people who LOVE her, and say it and show it and clearly value her input. her seeing a new therapist to process how difficult it can be to accept love from a parent a figure when all you've know is rejection in the past

-there are essays I could write abt aelwyn abernant and her relationship with her sister but alas not today

- fig being this glue. I really TRULY believe that fig plays a particular role in the bad kids

- riz and Kristen continuing to be this chaos duo purely on accident despite fully believing in themselves to Not be that

- riz and gorgugs quieter friendship

- gorgug and fig talking about bisexuality

- Kristen and fabian talking abt internalized homophobia, and their own relationships with self image and selfishness amongst a genuine drive to be kind

- literally any of them and all of them talking abt their dad's. it's all so different and yet so intertwined

- Kristen and fig just being genuinely p good friends, perhaps not huge confidants for one another in a way outside of the bad kid dynamic, but someone to lean on with gf stuff, and impulsively stuff, etc

- fig and tracker becoming p good friends feels good to me. tracker and ragh becoming kind of?? fully best friends on their quest?? getting to lean into one another as someone who has embraced their sexuality in a particularly mirrored way? as people in the lives of the bad kids but also just individuals going through their own shit

- I have a lot to add abt the seven but this rambly post is already too long probably

- gorgugs friends fully appreciating him and understanding him at different levels. more of adaine being extra supportive and uplifting of him Re: his first date with Zelda.

- more of any of them teasing the others abt romantic endeavors

- honestly more adaine being invested in her friends love lives bc she just. loves her friends and wants them to be happy regardless of her own journey of finding out who she is in that arena.

- personally a big fan of sex repulsed ace adaine but I also am kind of just. particularly open to most things sexuality/attraction wise with adaine. I really TRULY love adaine taking YEARS to figure out where she thinks her attention and interest is or isn't drawn

- adaine and riz research friends / fiends

- fabian gorgug and adaine being Voices of Reason for an overworked and sleepless riz, fabian gorgug adaine and riz being voices of reason to fig and Kristen's separate shenanigans

- the list of voices of reason goes on and on ; having such a tight network of friends is genuinely such a particular gift

- slumber parties at mordrid

- the bad kids annual kidnap gilear to ditch school day

- the bad kids reoccurring shrimp parties

- fig and the sig figs concerts and tours and interviews and breaks

- ayda getting to know other members of the bad kids better. ayda hanging out with adaine bc they're best friends. ayda hanging out with fig and uplifting eachother and finding solace in one another and someone who just. sees them.

- ayda bonding with other autistic bad kids. seem some rlly good gorgug riz and Kristen autistic hcs and they're all v nice in their different ways so honestly any combination of that

- ayda and Kristen just sort of. not getting eachother?? ayda and FABIAN just sort of. not getting eachother but being kind and thoughtful just as people ans also in an effort to find friendship in someone else v important to fig

- gorgug and ayda getting along just. genuinely pretty easily cbjdsbxnksxkc

- ok I'm done for rn xbjdnzncm

[waitimcomingtoo]

hii bestie!! happy belated birthday 🎂💗

im in need of advice and im sorry to dump all that on you but i really don't know what to do. so i started dating this guy that i really liked until he started getting almost like mood swings, insecure and never communicate his problem after 2 days of being unreasonably mad at me (sometimes it was about me/sometimes it wasn't), the fact is that i was really getting into my lowest point and becoming someone that i was not. so in our last fight I said that i need a break to think (friday+the weekend) the time that i asked wasn't really respected and that made me 10 times certain of the decision i was making.

(im gonna add time here so it's not as confusing) on may 29th i broke up with him, gave a lot of explanations and tried not to be a bitch but not also be like "we can just go back to being friends" (cause that's just not how it works), i put most of the blame on me bc i know that i was not the best gf ever and i was honesty scared that he was gonna kill hs bc he was very dependent on me, he insisted on being together but i already had my made and he accepted it.

on the same week but june 1st (happy bday tom) he invited me to go to a coffee shop, and i thought it would be awkward so i made up an excuse and he sent me a huge message on how we should start again, and i had to go through all my reasoning again so he'd understand why i did all i did, to wich he never responded.

this week he started the same thing, and again, sent me this whole thing about getting back together. and honestly im so tired of all of this, having to go through all of those reasons and putting the blame on me just so he can't find a solution in his mind bc there's none. the only thing keeping me away from blocking him or being rude is bc we're on the same friend group, and it would suck for our friends (and it already does).

i honestly wish i could write about how unheard, unseen, disrespected and idealized i felt through it all, and specially now without sounding way go rude.

im sorry for this giant thing but i really don't habe anyone to talk abt this rn, you don't have to read it all or reply if you don't want to i just really needed to vent lol

loved your last series 💗

Block him!!! He will never listen. He doesn’t hear you. He doesn’t see you. You’re an object to him right now and he’s made it his goal to get you back. It’s become a competition for him that he has to win. It had nothing to do with you. He will not respect you if you get back with him. You’ve done all you could. It’s time to block him and move on. You can ever say “if you’re not going to hear me, you can no longer contact me” and block that bitch

[k-kizkhalifa]

episode 10 --

oh a rei pov.

bro let me just say this. rei just said: i was monitoring the situation. bro. smh. that's not what to say. now he's watching shion and kirito making up. is that JEALOUSY?

oh no. rei. ALSJDlsKJLSKJLJFLKDSJF. you gave shion his confidence, you don't get to be upset that he is finding it. and possibly dumping you. im sorry. i want the best for you, btu that isn't how it works darling.

not rei thinking about him and things shion would say. oh goodness. not rei freaking out about shion, where is his bf? you ask? me too.

OHHHH JIN AND ICHIKAWA KISSSSSSSING. ah rei always observant.

once again the art and the cut scenes. they do so amazing at showing emotion.

ah love a supportive friend. alright jin help ya boy out! i hope jin tells him to go talk to his bf/not bf and figure some shit out. damn. he sure did. rei go find ya bf/not bf and figure some stuff out. even if it is for you to be dumped.

LMFAO I LAUGHED OK I CAN'T HELP IT.

Shion, clearly busy Rei: SHION! HOW YA DOING BABY LOVE? YOU GOOD??????

alskdjfasjf LMFAO

lol shion is adorable, ill give him that. LMFAO "LIKE IN A MANGA"

OH THE HAT CAME OFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OK REI YOU REALLY HAD A MOMENT AND THEN... lemme just adlib that for you all.

Rei: I like you. You're mine. Do you understand???? SHION? DO YOU??? Also your movie is going to fkn suck and i want you N O W.

ALSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO DADDY REI DARLING WITH THE: DON'T TALK TO ME ABOUT OTHER MEN. IT PISSES ME OFF. Damn boy, go off.

Shion toying with him lmfao. You know you're gonna say yes. Also the manipulation. GOOD LORD. Someone tag that. Damn.

ohp rei done asked the "stay over" question.

OKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK IM AM DYING RN. SHION YOU'RE SOOOOOOO YOUNG MY GUY. CALM DOWN. Mister "i gotta shave my body and put on my fragrence and WHICH UNDERWEAR *holds up that pink cutesy one*" GOOODNESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS BOYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. This is as bad as jin's line: i ate. i washed. i cleaned my mouth. *finger guns* lmfao.

kirito oh darling calm down. all i could think was shion better not tell rei he showed kirito his panties. oh no, not this notebook. i feel like the notebook is weird. i am nervous about this.

also i can not get over the whole calling your bf senpi. please stop yourself shion. youre gonna wear pink panties for this man. he is not your senpi anymore my guy.

oh good i was hoping for an explanation about the crying and tears and stuff.

rei, boy your game needs work...

shion: tell me more about you. rei: i wanna fk dude. also you're annoying as fk. but wait there is more.....

LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOO REI GIVING US A PLAY BY PLAY OF HIS NIGHT LIKE JIN. Only his is worse. I didn't think it could get worse than Jin's. BUT IT DID. alskjdfalskjdfalskjdf

Rei: I cleaned my filthy room. I paid the guards off. I ate dinner EARLY. I cleaned myself EARLY. AND I FKN STRETCHED. NOW TAKE YOUR CLOTHES OFF SHION.

i am confused about the glasses thing. oh lordy lordy the bottom on top. YOU KNOW I LVOE TO SEE IT.

d'aw they care about each other. sweet. the rei confession. i liked that. OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HISASHI IN THE NEXT EPISODE!

[kin-the-muffin]

haha soooo many things happening rn and i feel like i have so much time to do nothing like i used to but when i take a step back sure i have less but i still have a lot but then i remember that theres homework im already ignoring in my classes and new friends to know and be known by and old friends to either dump cuz theyre toxic and i never realized or try in vain to keep ahold of a slipping relationship and im in my senior year now hahahaaaaa

vent below

i auditioned for my school’s musical and i finally got a speaking part and im also technically a lead and that rly cool but it also means im going to have to stay at school for twelve hours almost every day until the second week of march when the play ends

im in my school’s honor choir and its a zero hour so i have to wake up at unheavenly times to get there and sing for two and a half hours

i get to be in a rly big state choir too and thats coming up in february and i havent looked at the music yet and i cant get the remind to work and all the emails are so long-winded and badly-formatted and confusing

and my english class is nearly full of students so thats fun and my school has zero, count em, Z E R O good senior english teachers but im pretty sure i have the better of two devils and i had her last semester so i know her and she knows me but i also know the kinda bs shes gonna throw at us and i just have to hope that she wasnt lying when she said that this semester would be easier because we’re not working on senior papers this time (mine was about mental health in schools not that anyone asked lolll)

i also have the same government teacher as last semester which is both a blessing and a curse because i know what to expect but like none of it is good and he makes us do these stupid unnecessary tiny group projects and why tf cant i just work alone i only know one person in the class and his lectures are so pointless and please just let me take all the tests and be done with this heaven-forsaken class already

then im in studio art which is basically the highest level art class at my school and you have to get permission from an art teacher to be in one of their hours then you work on one huge independent project the whole semester and my art teacher knows i draw on my ipad and said i could make a comic so now i have to figure out what its about then i can hopefully start the ball rolling from there but i have too many ideas and not enough at the same time and none of them are developed enough to make a 22-page, fully edited-and-colored comic

and my choir director is so incredibly passive aggressive but not really on purpose, he just knows he has a rbf and so he overcompensates to make himself more friendly but then when his patience runs thin he yells and i wanna cry and die and quit high school and cry some more

and im trying so hard not to stress over college because i know im gonna take a gap year so i can think about it then but two of my sisters have offered their homes to me and i love them both so much and ive been thinking about just getting an apartment and a roommate but i have to tell them that because one of them is going to renovate their basement with my potential living there in mind and then i end up stressing about college anyways like what major and what minor and what school and what even is my endgoal???? i dont know?!?!??!?!! i dont know what i want to do with my life, not specifically! my biggest dream rn is to be an mc streamer and thats just cuz im back in my mcyt phase and the old pipe dream from my childhood has returned but i know it cant actually work out btu the dreamer in me says it can but i know it realistically has like a .000002% chance of actually happening

and thats all i have the energy to say rn

sorry for the rant

sorry for not posting

ty and goodnight

[woosansang]

this is gonna be the most incoherrent thing ive ever written but i just . . need to get things out of my head

re my weird as fuck dream last night that woke me up at 7am on a saturday. dream (nightmare?) about coming out to my parents and my dad started wearing a trans pride flag tshirt that said trans rights. but???? i have NEVER felt like that applies to me. i can barely even consider myself nb even though that’s probably the most accurate way i view myself.

i cannot STAND being called a girl anymore. i liked it when my dad once misttook me for my sisters bf because we dress the same way sometimes and i had a cap on so my hair was covered. i liked it when someone drunkenly asked me at a club if i was born a boy or a girl because the couldnt tell (i guess based on the way i was dressed? my face looks feminine but i dress masculine idk). when the kids accidentally say yes sir to me at school and then apologise i tell them that’s fine, i dont care if they call me miss or sir. my best friend knows all of this and he tries to show his support by “jokingly”(?) calling me a boy when he talks to his dog (it’s not mean or condescending, idk how to explain, you just have to be there i guess).

i feel weird when people refer to me as “they” even though that’s what i’ve said i prefer, i’m also just used to hearing/reading “she”, but i dont really like that either. but i definitely do not want to use “he”. once again, i guess “they” is the best option but why the fuck does everything just feel so wrong when people use pronouns to refer to me. can’t i just be jazzy. can’t you just call me by name

i said to my sister the other day that i think yeosang is the most attractive ateez member but that i am most attracted TO wooyoung. and yet. when i see wooyoung in his casual cothes, his trackies and hoodies and caps and beanies and oversized tshirts, i think he’s hot, yeah, but mostly i just think “wow i wish i looked like that”. i’m also attraced to ryujin but i dont want to look like her. i dont know what relevence that has to anything, im just thinking out loud.

im so fucking confused

this has been an ongoing war ive had in my head for like two or three years now

in like 2016/17/18 i spent hundreds of dollars on these gorgeous dresses and brand name makeup that i used to wear to uni events and while i still enjoy doing makeup on my sister whenever she goes out somewhere fancy, i dont ever wear most of it myself. but i love lipstick. i fucking love bold lipstick - red, purple, organe, pink, blue, green, wow, WOW i love wearing lipstick.

i always feel the need to express how much i dislike the colour pink. i’ve been like that my whole life. except i dont actually dislike it anymore. it’s a nice colour. not one of my favourites by a long shot, but compared to how much i hated it when i was a kid, i dont anymore. but i still pretend(?) to?????? i dont get it

i dont want to be viewed as male. i want to be viewed as female. but not a woman. i dont like pronouns. im just a person. i am just a person. 

anon came for my throat the other day when i said atiny selca day makes me feel uncomfortable and seeing atinys selfies makes me feel sick. it was never about seeing peoples selfies. i actually love seeing when my beloved tumblr mutuals post pictures of themselves. almost all are “she/her”. i love seeing them, gorgeous and feminine and happy with how they look in that picture and wanting to share it with friends online. i LOVE it. and then i go to twt and see random strangers posting gorgeous feminine pictures and i want to die. cant i be an atiny and not look like that? i dont want to look like that. i dont want people to assume i look like that, that i feel like that. i dont want people to group me with all these girls just because i like a boy group.

i dont even want to get started on how being bi confuses me in relation to all this as well. the idea of dating someone right now who is a girl or is a boy just. no. i dont know. it’s got nothing to do with it but also i feel like it has everything to do with it. i dont know

i dont

fucking

know

ugh

[lxngbottom]

A Cold Night | N.L

in which the reader is best friends with neville, & she swore he would ask her to the yule ball. she is forced to go alone without anyone’s knowledge.

warnings: just angst honestly, & swearing

word count: 1,575

im watching gof rn by myself & i just came up with this randomly so enjoy!

—

y/n y/l/n sat in the (now) glamours great hall. kids her age, younger, & older, laughed as they all danced. everyone was dressed in formal attire, even y/n herself who was never too keen on getting dressed up. whispers broke out when people saw her, saying how beautiful she looked. but, the look on her face contrasted from her baby blue dress. it was one filled with envy, and spite for the ginger girl that danced in the green dress.

y/n brought the bottle once again up to her lips, discreetly. the bottle was filled with muggle alcohol, as she knew it would be the only way to get her through the night.

she watched as neville smiled, laughed with ginny. they looked to be having the time of their life. and as much as y/n wanted to be happy for him, she couldn’t bring herself to be. her whole being was filled with rage, and the worst part was; it was beginning to become noticeable.

y/n looked over, and saw harry and ron with their dates, sitting down. they looked just as bored as she did. she looked around once more, her eyes landing on hermione and her Bulgarian man. she smiled lightly, happy that at least her girl best friend was having a good night. hermione had never glowed so much since y/n had known her, and it brought some serenity.

but, she thought about the conversation that had occurred between them, just a few days before this:

“y/n! the yule ball is in three days and you’re telling me that you still don’t have someone to go with?!” hermione exclaimed, her face filled with concern for her friend.

“don’t remind me, mione’. please.” y/n responded, plopping down onto her bed. she looked down at her fingers, remembering that neville had told her, seamus, and dean that he was going with ginny weasley.

“well... there must be someone!”

hermione began to think to herself, surely not wanting y/n to go all by herself. that would be completely unacceptable in her book. “i don’t think ron or harry have a date yet. maybe you could ask one of them! i’m sure they wouldn’t mind.” hermione suggested.

y/n shook her head, “they’re going with the twins...”

hermione sighed, a feeling of guilt penetrating her chest. “well... is there anyone specifically that you would want to go with?”

the question made y/n’s heart snap, as yes, there was someone she had in mind. neville longbottom. her best friend since first year. she assumed that neville would just ask her, and of course she wouldn’t have declined. she had fancied the Herbology loving boy since the second she laid eyes on him, and three years later, that still hadn’t changed.

when neville had informed her that he was escorting ginny, she had lied to him and said that she had a date as well. but, of course, she just didn’t want to look like a pathetic fool in front of him.

“yeah, actually. i’ll ask them tomorrow and let you know, hermione.” y/n responded, earning another small smile from the dirty blonde.

“great! there’s no way they would turn you down!”

but when the next day came, there wasn’t another person. y/n had lied once again, just to not seem pathetic in front of one of her close friends. she had even told hermione that the imaginary boy said yes, and that she was very excited to being attending the ball with him.

y/n took another swig of the bottle, her eyes still not leaving neville and ginny. maybe it was the effects of the alcohol, but y/n felt as if her emotions were about to burst right from her chest. she imagined a scenario where she slammed the bottle on the ground, grabbing everyone’s attention, and just storming out to leave everyone in question.

but, of course she couldn’t do that. she didn’t want to ruin other people’s nights.

time seemed to go by quickly, and y/n’s anger was quickly replaced with sadness. she looked down at her dress, hating it. she felt as if she had just wasted her time coming.

tears brimmed her eyes, and she quickly stood up to storm out. she did so whimpering, trying her best to hold back tears.

when she met the cold night, it nipped at her nose, causing a single tear to slip down her face. she quickly took her heels off, the alcohol making it increasingly difficult to walk in them without stumbling.

she looked around a few times, just to make sure no one was present. when she realized she was alone, she let out a small sob.

it wasn’t fair. it just wasn’t fair. y/n swore that neville would be the one to take her, and that she would be the one on the dance floor laughing with him. but, the world doesn’t always work in our favor. she took another swig, and continued to cry to herself.

by the time the bottle was empty, y/n was drunk. she began to see doubles, and knew that it was time to just to turn in for the night. there was no real reason to even be here. not now, or even in the first place. she had no idea why she even decided to come.

as she began walking towards the staircase, letting her drunk mind consume her, a familiar voice called out for her,

“y/n!”

she turned her head, and her heart broke once more when she saw the person in question. he looked so handsome.

“what, neville?” she responded angrily, just simply wanting to disappear from his sight.

he looked her up and down, noticing her makeup running, and the empty bottle in her hands.

“where are you going? and, why are you crying?” he asked concerned, stepping closer to her. her breath hitched as he did so, and he began to put the pieces together of what he thought was going on. “merlin... did your date dump you? i’m so sorry, y/n. ginny and i—“

“no.” she interjected, “he didn’t dump me.”

neville’s eyebrows furrowed out of pure confusion, “oh, well then... why are you leaving? you seem really upset.” the boy moved some hair from her shoulder, secretly taking in how beautiful she looked. runny mascara and all.

“yes, neville. i’m upset. i’m glad you noticed...” she slurred out.

neville’s face dropped, “are you...” he began, still trying to out the pieces together, “are you drunk, y/n?”

y/n chuckled spitefully, her emotions being the only thing driving her at the moment. “yeah, neville. i’m drunk. i’m very drunk, actually.”

he noticed the edge in her tone, the anger. what was going on with her?

“y/n... you know you can talk to me, right? we’re friends.”

y/n laughed once again, this time, taking a hair clip from her hair and tossing it on the floor. “yeah, whatever, longbottom. just go back in. your date is probably waiting for you.”

neville was completely lost. y/n never acted like this towards him.

“y/n, seriously. what in the bloody hell is wrong with you, tonight? where is your date?”

finally, y/n broke.

“i don’t have one.” she spoke, her voice cracking. “i lied to you. i lied to every one of you.” she stepped closer to him, “i came here... alone.”

“what?” he questioned, “why—why would you lie, y/n?”

her fists clenched from his question. was neville really that oblivious? could she have not made it anymore obvious to him all these years?

“because... the person i wanted to go with, was already going with someone else.”

neville’s eyes softened, and he smiled. “y/n... you still could’ve found someone. i mean, look at me. somehow i managed to get a date and—“

“just fuck off, longbottom. okay? just leave me the fuck alone!”

his jaw dropped, and he started to reconsider ever word he had just spoken. what did he say that made her so angry?

y/n began to turn around and walk away, but neville grabbed her arm before she could move any further. “y/n, just talk to me. i just wanna know what’s going on, and why you lied about having a date. i won’t judge you or—“

“merlin’s beard, neville! you can be such an oblivious git sometimes!” she spat at him, yanking her arm away from his hold.

his chest tightened from her words. is that really how she felt about him? after all these years... she saw him just like everyone else did?

“i wanted—“ she started, scared to speak, but at the same time needing to, “i wanted to go with you!”

neville’s face contorted into a shocked one from her yelling,

“i lied because you were going with ginny, and i wanted you to ask me! i honestly, truly thought that you would ask me as a matter of fact! i didn’t care about finding another date because i was convinced that you would take me!”

neville didn’t know how to respond. all he could do was focus on her trembling voice, and the way tears continuously rolled down her face.

“y/n—“

“but it doesn’t matter anymore, right? cause you’re with ginny and i’m just simply leaving! so... have a fantastic night!”

and with that, she dashed away from him. a trail of tears and whimpers leaving with her. neville stood there, shocked, confused, worried.

of course he had wanted to ask her. he just didn’t know how.

[huffle-dork]

Curiosity Killed the Cat: Chapter 10

What Swallows the Light 

Chapter 9: [x] Read from the beginning: [x]

(AN: IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG I HATE THAT WRITING IS SO HARD FOR ME RN AHHH I LOVE Y’ALL THANKS FOR STICKING WITH THIS- THE END IS NEAR!! LIkE MAYBE 3-4 MORE CHAPTERS!! EEEEE!!) 

The boys regrouped at Chase’s studio- exhausted and spent but determined to look for Marvin using any means necessary. Well… most of them.

Jackie was desperate- desperate to do anything but resort to Jameson’s suggestion… he was not ready to face Phantom again.

His limbs still ached from the abuse he suffered at the hand of the mad conman. But, he wasn’t scared. Superheroes don’t get scared.

Chase groaned loudly and flopped his weight onto the back of the couch. “Jackie, c’monnn! We’re getting nowhere with all this!” He gestures to the collection of trackers and electronic devices Jackie’s collected- all beeping or malfunctioning. “Marvin knows you too well man! He’s probably using some freaky magic shit to block himself!”

Jackie grumbled and refused to acknowledge Chase, stubbornly tapping on the tablet he was trying to program. When it refuses to work, he suddenly yells in frustration and throws the thing hard against the wall. It cracks through the surface- the screen shattered and sparking. The hero then grips his hair and suppresses an even louder yell.

Schneep and Jameson exchange worried looks with each other. The doctor tries to speak up,” Jackie-”

“Shut up! I know!” The hero hisses through clenched teeth. “I know this isn’t working! But there has to be something! Something we’re missing.. Something that doesn’t involve-!” He seems to choke slightly, swallowing thickly.

A static laced laugh breaks the tense silence as Anti- who’s splayed across one of the couches like a lazy cat- finally speaks. “Woowww Spandex- it’s so rare to see you so scared shitless-”

Jackie turns to shout at the glitch, his eyes burning with blue power. “Shut the fuck up, you lazy bitch! I ain’t scared-”

“Righttt and the refusal to just- go do the easy thing and see the guy who might actually have the answers to whiskers’ problem is…? What? A super secret strategy of yours? Stubbornness? Stupidity? You are good at that last one-”

Chase has to grab Jackie and hold him back as the hero almost throws himself at the glitch to strangle him. Anti laughs madly, the air around him fizzling with glitches and static.

“Someone’s gotta length your fuse big guy! Hate to see what’ll happen when you finally explode~” Anti’s eyes darken to pits. “Then again… maybe it’ll be fun to watch~!”

“Anti for the love of god- stop antagonizing him!” Jameson huffs in exasperation, making sure his speech slide appears in right in front of Anti’s face so he can’t ignore it. Anti simply laughs and pushes it away- but luckily he doesn’t push the hero anymore.

The others look to Jackie with sympathetic faces. The hero shoves Chase off him with his elbow before looking away, clearly conflicted.

Schneep coughs then carefully walks up to Jackie, using his quiet bedside manner voice, “Jackie… we all know you are… hesitant. About seeing Phantom again. But we also cannot waste our time… we do not know what Marvin could be doing to Jack right of now.” Jackie cringes slightly at this, anxiously starting to pick at the skin beneath his gloves. Schneep looks to his brother with kind and worried eyes. He steps closer and gently places a hand on his then whispers to him low. “It is okay to be scared, you know.” The doctor’s eyes shift to the lounging glitch and Jackie can see the spark of fear in his eyes. “We all understand… but- you cannot let your fears keep you from moving forward, yes?” He squeezes the older brother’s hand tighter, “We all need to work together to stop this… you will not face this alone. And we do not think lesser of you for it.”

Jackie is quiet for a beat- but slowly he nods. He meets Schneep’s eyes and smiles softly. “Thanks Hen…”

Then he sighs and squares his chest before addressing the rest of the room.

“Alright… time to go pay Phantom a visit.” 

The door to the tackily clad Phantom’s emporium opened effortlessly with a little bell. The egos all walk in-and are greeted with a dark and abandoned shop. 

“It’s awful dark in here…” Jameson comments, his speech slide adding a small burst of light. 

Chase squints and whistles under his breath, “Yeah- jesus… you’d think the guy could afford more lights in this creepy-as-fuck shop-”

He then shouts and suddenly falls to the floor.

There’s the sound of glitchy laughter from Jameson’s phone while Schneep digs out his and turns on the flashlight.

“Mein gott Chase- are you okay?”

There’s a groan as Chase pushes himself up and rubs at his head,” Y-Yeah- Yeah I’m okay- I  just stepped on something-”

Suddenly there’s the sound of muffled yelling that has all the boys turning to look at the floor. “N-No way…” Jackie gasps as he goes to inspect the object, then he brings it up for the other boys to see. It’s one of phantom’s crystal orbs- only it’s occupied by the con artist himself and his brother, Mare. Mare is kneeling, one hand knocking against the glass while the other cradles a pale and spent looking Phantom.

Schneep’s eyes widen, “wh- how… how did this happen?” He whispers in disbelief. Jameson is covering up his mouth. Chase is massaging his calf before he looks up and yells, “Woah!” 

Mare inside the orb scowls and knocks against the glass again. There’s a large crack on its side- like it might have been smashed against a corner of something. “Would you stop gawking and help us?!”

Jackie’s face falls slightly. Even if these guys were villains… this wasn’t right. So he nods and goes to try to smash the orb on the ground.

But quickly, Schneep yelps and goes to stop Jackie. “Wait!”

Jackie blinks in confusion and Schneep breathes before whispering to his brother, “Let’s… let's think this through, Jackieboy- if we free them now… we might not get the information we need.”

The doctor raises an eyebrow at Jackie and it slowly dawns on the hero. Jackie hisses back low to Henrik, “You want us to use their imprisonment to get info on Marvin?” His eyes glow slightly, “That’s not right, Schneep!”

Schneep pushes back against Jackie and whispers back, “If we do not- they will just poof away and will not get the info we need to save Marvin! Do you want to help him or not?!”

Jackie’s mouth opens and closes before he scowls and looks away. Schneep tries to hide a triumphant smirk. He then takes the orb from Jackie’s palm and holds it out before announcing, “We will release you… but only if you swear to tell us everything you know about what is happening to Marvin. If you do not and try to escape… we will treat you as the criminals you are and take the actions necessary to put you both back in jail.” Mare rolled his eyes, “Yeah yeah, stiff- whatever! Just get us out of here! My brother is fucking dying!”

Jackie and Schneep make eye contact before the doctor gives the okay. Jackie readies to smash the orb on the floor-But Jamie quickly stops him. He then signs, “Perhaps I can offer some assistance?”

The hero looks confused but he offers the ball to Jameson regardless. The gentleman smiles in appreciation then holds both his hands over the glass. He closes his eyes and focuses- teal light travels up the glass and coats the orb. Then, a flash of teal light rockets across to the empty space in the room and from the light forms Mare and Phantom in the same position they were in inside the orb.

Chase whistles, “Nice work J! ...now we won’t have to step on broken glass!”

Mare takes in a deep breath and looks over his extremely pale brother, who is breathing heavily and can barely keep open his dull eyes. He then shoots up to his feet and tries to make it to the back rooms of the shop.

Jackie beats him though and holds out his arms to stop him, his eyes flaring blue. “Where do you think you’re going?”

The dark ego bares his teeth ferally and pushes into Jackie’s face. “Out of my fucking way. Hero! You might not care but we were in there for a week! And those orbs absorb magic- it’s been sucking my brother dry for days! So- if you’ll excuse me I’m gonna get him something to make sure he’s alive for your fucking interrogation- is that okay with you?!”

The red hooded hero stands speechless and just steps aside, letting his arms fall as he nods. Mare doesn’t waste a second to rush past him.

There’s the sound of rustling and glass bottles hitting the floor before NateMare rushes back out and skids on his knees to be back by Phantom’s side. He cradles the other figment’s head and gently lowers a bright red glowing potion to his lips. The second the liquid meets his lips, Phantom’s eyes shoot open and glow red as he gasps. His back arches and he almost seems like he’s in pain but Mare just holds on tighter and dumps the rest of the potion into his mouth.

“I know…” He whispers, “Just- hold on, okay Phan? This will help, I promise…”

The other egos watch with bated breath.

Eventually the last drop falls into Phantom’s mouth and Mare takes the bottle away. Phantom pants like a man dehydrated finally offered a drink. His eyes burn red and for a second it seems like nothing happened. Then, the red blooms on his skin- in his veins, and travels across his body. The demon shudders and grits his teeth but as the magic flows, his pallor returning to normal. Finally, he sags in Mare’s grip and starts to breathe at a more regular pace. He weakly smiles up to his brother. They don’t exchange words, just simple nods but… it seems like Phantom was trying to say thank you. Phantom then turns and seems to remember they have company. He sighs and groans as he pushes himself up. He’s a bit unsteady but soon he’s standing tall again. He opens up his palm and from the ground, his staff comes rushing out and into his grip. He spins it then slams it to the ground to lean on. He eyes the company of Septic egos as he pushes back his hair.

“Forgive my… haggard appearance. Your brother… managed to do quite a number on me.”

“So, you know what happened to him? He was here?” Jackie asks eagerly. Phantom raises a hand to silence him.

“I will answer all your questions… but only if you let Mare go to rest. He does not have any answers for you and... He hasn’t been able to eat or drink since we were imprisoned… I did what I could but.. I survive on magic. He does not.”

The egos look at each other before nodding in understanding. Phantom nods to his brother, “Go. I’ll check up on you later.”

Mare seems hesitant to leave- but after a stern look from his brother he purses his lips but retreats to the back rooms regardless.

Jackie quickly pipes back up as soon as the curtains close behind him, “So- Marvin? He was here?”

Phantom nods, “Yes, he was here. He was the one who trapped us.” He then looks to Jackie and raises an eyebrow, “Said the act was… what you would call Justice.” He then shrugs and sighs, going to fall against one of the armchairs in the room. “Which I guess is fair-”

The hero’s gaze hardens as he hisses, “He doesn’t speak for me. I wouldn’t have done something like that.”

The red demon raises his head in slight surprise, then he smirks, “Oh~ I sense a bit of in-fighting?”

The air in the room gets tense as all the egos shuffle and cough. “Uh.. you could definitely say that-” Chase mutters.

Phantom hums and goes to lean forward in his chair, tapping his fingers against his orb. “...I already had my suspicions… and since you all are here for answers… why don’t you fill me in on what mischief my darling little apprentice has gotten himself into?”

“Don’t call him that-” A speech slide darts in front of Phantom’s vision followed by a serious looking Jameson. He frowns and pops up another slide once he’s gotten Phantom’s attention, “He is not yours. Not anymore.”

The demon blinks then chuckles and shakes his head, “I suppose you’re right, Jackson.”

Suddenly, the air turns electric as a groan of annoyance sounds from Jameson’s phone. Glitches fly out of his pocket and soon Anti’s fizzly form splays across one of the couches as he throws out his limbs in exasperation. “Jesus christ yall can blabber! Can we get on with this already?! Or need I remind you kitten whiskers literally has all our lives on the line?!”

Phantom jumps and somewhat curls up in his chair, trying to hide the fear in his eyes. “...w...what is he doing here?”

Anti blinks then grins wolfishly at Phantom, “Well hello to you too pretty boy- still not over our last encounter I see?” He laughs madly.

Jackie sighs then points to Anti with his thumb, “He’s the start of this whole thing. Plus… Marvin is targeting him.”

This peaks the con-man’s interest. He knits his eyebrows together and gathers his composure, leaning all his weight on his staff and linking his fingers. “...Enlighten me.”

The Septic egos then take their time to explain everything: Anti’s kidnapping of Marvin. The state of Jack. Marvin’s memory loss- his behavior after being rescued. How all that changed suddenly. His manipulation of Jameson. The book- the nighttime encounter in Jackie’s apartment. Jackie and Marvin’s fight. The criminals he killed. The veins and purple magic and eyes- the smoke that seemed to coat everything black. The hospital… how Marvin took Jack. Phantom listens intently. After they’re done he sighs and brushes back in his hair, looking towards the bookshelf behind him. “..it’s as I feared.”

He looks over the boys then stands up to address them, “... this time I am not the source of Marvin’s problem. In fact… I fear the problem may have sprouted from inside him.”

“What?” Henrik asks, “What does that mean?”

“Yeah- this… this doesn’t seem like Marvin’s magic at all! He.. he’s good! That’s how Jack made him- so how could this come from him?” Jackie shouts, looking angry.

Phantom holds up a hand to silence them. “I’m not saying this just happened randomly… but you must know this. Magic deals in absolutes.”

He then holds his hand over his orb and starts to dance his fingers in the air over it. White light comes from the orb and starts to dance in the air.

“In our world- Light magic is the prominent force. All magic stems from it. Because typically, magic is used to help or heal. Like… superpowers. They are a form of light magic. When magic first began… it was only used for good. However, humanity is selfish. And with selfishness comes the other side of magic… dark magic… black magic. Black magic is an invader- it was not made to exist here. But- through selfish desires and evil intentions it entered into our world. And… black magic is not like the light. It is constantly hungry- because it knows it does not belong here. It seeks to devour all sources of light and life. Even it’s users… it either devours them whole- or uses them to draw more people into darkness.”

Anti rolls his eyes, “Alright Merlin, thanks for the magic lesson. What’s all this bullshit gotta do with this?”

Phantom huffs and grips his staff, “I’m getting to that. But since you so kindly interrupted me, I’ll be blunt with you.” He points his staff at Anti. “You, glitch, are the catalyst for Marvin’s transformation.”

The glitch sputters, his form buzzing with static as he sits up, “What the fuck?! How is this my fault- I didn’t do anything to whisker’s magic! I’m not even magic myself!”

Phantom laughs and shakes his head, “All figments are filled with some form of magic. Or we wouldn’t exist.

But that’s besides the point for now. Remind me again, Anti, what is it you had Marvin do while in your capture?”

All the egos turn cold eyes on Anti. The glitch almost looks guilty as he crosses his arms and looks away from his audience. “I… forced him to put Jack to sleep.” Then he shakes his head and throws out his hands, “But that’s it! I didn’t touch him- I didn’t possess him or corrupt him or anything!”

Phantom nods and floats fingers through the white light still floating in the air. “Perhaps you didn’t��� but you provided the spark.”

He opens his arms to the light, “Pretend if you will- this is Marvin’s core. His center of magic- his soul. Jackie mentioned earlier- your creator made Marvin to be good. So- that’s what his core is. A source of light magic.”

He then snaps and a pure black flame ignites on his fingertip. “Now- if I add a spark of black magic…” He lowers the black flame into the white light.

The light almost instantly begins to be eaten by the black. The black spears through the light like a hungry predator until all that’s left floating in the air in a bubble of black, sparking with purple power.

The septics watch with horror.

“...that’s... what's happening to Marvin?” Chase asks in a small voice.

“...it is a slower process but yes.” Phantom nods. He leans back into his chair and snaps the magic out of the air.

“Since Marvin’s core is good, any type of spell that goes against his nature could possibly change his entire magical alignment. What most likely happened is… whatever spell he used on Jack was enough to spark a dark magic takeover.”

“...But- Marvin has used darker magic before.” Jameson points out, “**Like when he’s been possessed by Antisepticeye- or… his last encounter with you. How come that didn’t trigger his magic to change?” **

Phantom hums with a smile, “A good question, Jackson. While under possession, Marvin’s magic is not entirely his own. When under my control- I fueled him with my own magic. It’s like… dye in water. It can leave the water stained sure- but eventually it will return to what it was because of the constant flow. Magic is fueled by the soul- so as long as Marvin is alive, his magic refuels itself. So even if it was changed momentarily by an outside source- it should go back to what his core was.”

“...the community-” Anti suddenly mumbles. Everyone looks to him with curiosity.

“...yes, Anti?” Phantom raises an eyebrow.

The glitch scowls then turns to face the other demon. “Jack’s community. Does that count as an outside source? Because I swear that Magician’s purpose has been flip-flopping around so much because they can’t make up their goddamn minds on what side he should be on. All this magic bullshit- does it really matter when Jack and the community has so much pull on our characters?”

The air is silent while the room takes in this information. Phantom smiles and leans back. “Hm- I can’t say for certain… though me and Mare are influenced by our community as well- each figments story is different. Me and Mare were made to be evil so… there’s not much we can do to change that.”

He then points his staff at some of the septics, partially Jameson and Schneep. “However- that is why I’ve found you septics so… fascinating. Even if Jack made you one way… the fandom can change you. Like how our beloved Doctor was once considered to be on the Glitch’s side… or how Mr. Jackson seemed to be free of corruption because of the fandom’s love… until it was revealed he was a puppet all along.”

Schneep nervously rubs his neck and looks away, shuddering at the memories from that time. “...that… I..I do remember… being changed by them. Forced to be someone else… until Jack set the record straight.”

Jamie is silent, playing with his hands and looking at the ground. His wrists hidden under his sleeves- his strings out of sight. Phantom smiles to himself, “That’s why I’ve always been so fascinated by my Magnificent… he’s so easily swayed. His alignment is so back and forth. He could be anything. He could become anyone.” 

“Okay so- why isn’t this they’re fault, magic man?” Anti suddenly sneers, “Why isn’t this debacle their fault?! They almost have as much power as Jack does! Why aren’t they responsible?”

Phantom scratches his chin and taps his specter thoughtfully, “...I don’t think we can rule out their influence entirely. But… Marvin hasn’t been the star of the show for a quite a long time, yes? So… a change this sudden could only be explained by new lore from Jack. and… since he’s asleep.” The demon looks pointedly at Anti and raises an eyebrow. Anti grumbles and folds his arms again, sinking into the couch.

Jackie sighs and sits down, holding out his hands, “Okay so- let’s recap… because Anti made Marvin put Jack to sleep- that magic he used started to change his core. It went from light magic to black magic because black magic is a greedy bastard- so it’s changing Marvin… which is why he… he did all the things he did… right?”

The red clad demon nods, “Correct. Since the magic is an invader… one could say it’s possessing your brother. But- it won’t take much for it to grab control and change him permanently. He was already starting… what he was doing to those thugs is classic black magic. Feeding off life forces helps to fuel the black magic even faster. There’s nothing more selfish or evil than taking a life. ...Marvin’s actions might not entirely be his own- this all could be the black magic working to take over Marvin’s core faster. Especially since he did not choose to use that magic that sparked this in the first place… It’s manipulating him.”

Jackie seems to light up slightly. He smiles to himself and whispers, “...i..I knew it- I knew this couldn’t be Marvin… not really.”

“So what can we do to stop this? To save him?” Chase brings up. “We gotta stop him before this thing eats him- or Jack!”

Phantom is quiet for a second before sighing, “...that.. I do not know.”

“What?!” Jackie exclaims as he jumps to his feet, eyes burning. “You- You know all of this but you don’t know how to save him?! What the fuck?!”

The demon just raises an eyebrow, “Hero. I collect souls to survive. My core thrives off dark magic. I may know how it works… but I don’t know how to stop the process.” He then sighs and looks around. “I can give you advice though… that book. He stole it from me. It is a source of black magic itself- and it reacts to the user. It will do anything in its power to keep Marvin reliant on its spells. It will only hasten his corruption so… try to keep it away from him. Seal it away… it can’t be destroyed except by the purest of light magic.

Also- beware him collecting a large group of people. The magic inside him is going to be looking for the largest amount of souls it can corrupt. And… if he succeeds…. It will be too late. Your brother will be consumed. And they’ll be no going back.”

The air grows heavy at this news and the others exchange worried glances. The con-man watches before rising to his feet. “I’ve given you all the information I can… I would use it quickly if you want to save Marvin. Every second wasted is him getting closer to being consumed.”

The others look at each other then nod. “Alright… thank you Phantom.”

“As promised… we will not bother you and Natemare.” Schneep adds, adjusting his coat as he gets to his feet. He gestures to the others and starts to head for the door. Anti watches from the couch, seeming to be deep in thought.

Before Jackie can join the others however, Phantom lightly grabs his wrist to stop him. The hero looks back with confusion. The dark magician looks… almost bashful. He opens and closes his mouth several times before whispering out in sincerity, “... I know there is a lot at stake but… please Jackieboy… save my Magnificent.”

Jackie balks at this- then slowly his eyes start to burn with anger. He throws Phantom’s hand off him and grabs the figment by his vest and throws him against one of the pillars making up the walls.

“Are you fucking serious?! Your magnificent?! He isn’t your property asshole! After all of this- after all he’s been through you still think you get to stand here and be selfish?! To think about how you’re going to use him next?! If you so much as breathe near him again I swear to god i’ll-!”

Phantom just sits there and takes it- looking Jackie in the face. Jackie pants and growls, pushing Phantom more up against the wall when words fail him. The demon winces then opens one eye to look at Jackie.

“Are you done? Can i say my piece now?”

Jackie bares his teeth, ‘What could you possibly have to say to that? Gonna manipulate me with your fucking smoke to make me think you were in the right all this time? That you were helping him? That you ever cared for him at all as an apprentice?!”

“I DID CARE!” Phantom suddenly shouts, pushing back in Jackie’s face and blasting out enough magic to get Jackie to let go. Jackie stumbles back and narrows his eyes at Phantom as the demon dusts himself off and straightens his vest.

“...or… I do care. ...I think-” He sighs and lowers his gaze to the hero. “...I’m not like you and your family, Jackie. I wasn’t made to be good. I was made to manipulate and to steal. To trick. So… of course that was my purpose when I first took your brother in all those years ago…

However, despite my nature… i believe I developed a… soft spot for him. I… didn’t know how to interpret those feelings. I thought it was a need to fully control him- to make him mine. But… even that wasn’t enough. I couldn’t understand.”

He then sighs and picks his specter off the ground, going to twist it thoughtfully between his fingers. “But… all that time spent in that orb… enduring the same thing I made him endure… I was able to think. ...to maybe realize it was more than that need of control. That… maybe- the very small part of me that’s human… maybe that part actually cared for him. ...like how I care for Mare.”

Jackie’s hard expression softens slightly, looking to Phantom in confusion. The demon doesn’t meet his eyes as he chuckles bitterly.

“...I fought it for a while but… he was different than my other cons. He was… the first one just like me. A fellow figment just...looking for a place in the world. Of course… my purpose had to be fulfilled… a creation can’t deny its reason for existing. But… for a while… I couldn’t. Not to him. Maybe that’s why it took me so many years to finally hunt him down…”

He shakes his head then ventures to his bookshelf, going to open a small ornate chest. He digs inside then pulls out a white object and holds it in his hands while turned away from Jackie, rubbing his fingers against the surface.

“You know… there’s one thing I know about light magic… why you heroes and goody-two-shoes always best us in the end.” He laughs and turns to Jackie, handing the item to him.

It’s a blank white cat mask.

Jackie’s eyes widen as he takes it and then he looks to Phantom, who’s smiling bitterly.

“...it’s your ability to be positive. To believe in each other. To have things and memories that… keep the darkness away. ...perhaps that can help you.”

The demon looks to the ceiling almost wistfully, “I know… anything involved with me is tainted now. And… Marvin will never want anything to do with me again. I’m.. okay with that. But… maybe that mask… can remind him of when magic was good to him. When his love for magic was pure and child-like… perhaps it can save him from the dark.”

Jackie is speechless once again. He looks down at the mask and rubs his thumb against the edge. He can imagine Marvin when he first met him- when he first took off his distrustful shell and started to open up. How happy and mischievous and carefree he was. Did he actually feel that way with Phantom once?

“...you really do care about him..” Jackie pipes up quietly. Phantom smiles and shrugs.

“...I can’t say for sure. But… i do hope you save him. Really…” He sighs and looks back to Jackie seriously, “If he survives… I will leave him be. I will not hunt him down again… I will consider all his debts paid.”

Jackie’s eyebrows raise in surprise. Then, he laughs slightly and puts the mask in his backpack. He straightens the straps and turns to go- but not before giving one last look to Phantom.

“Hey- maybe there’s a little light in you after all Phantom.”

Phantom snorts, “Don’t get mushy on me, hero. You’ll make me more sick than I already am.”

Jackie laughs and shrugs, “Fair enough. Well… thanks.”

“Just get out of here, Jackieboy- don’t waste what little time you have with pleasantries.” Phantom grumbles, going to head towards the back room. “And… good luck.”

The hero nods and grins before hurrying out of the store and back into daylight.

However, he’s quickly met with a panicking Schneep and Chase who are on him in a second.

“Jackie! Oh god- oh shit this is bad!” Chase whimpers.

“What? What happened? What’s wrong??”

Schneep meets Jackie’s eyes, his own filled with fear.

“...Anti has disappeared. And he took Jameson with him.”

“...son of a bitch-?!”

[bouncyballcitadel]

Three Types Of Couples

MC : It's the last slice of pizza

Jean : *give it to MC*

Davy : *cut it in half and gives half to MC*

Eli : *fckn fight Mc for it*

Jean : *eating cinnamon rolls*

MC : CANNIBALISM

Jean : *confused chewing noises*

MC : Well fuck me if im wrong-

Davy : You're wrong

MC : But i haven't said any-

Davy : WRONG

MC : So, what can i do if my boyfriend is too tall for me to kiss?

Davy : Kick his shin or punch him in the stomach, when he leans over- kiss him

Jean : Tackle him

Eli : Dump him

Victor : No

Victor : No to all of those

Victor : Just Ask me to lean down

Davy : Before the rumor spread, i just wanna announce that MC and I are dating

everyone : *gasp*

Jean : MC, why do you look shocked?

MC : I FUCKING DIDN'T KNOW THIS

MC : I will torture you now

Davy : *smirking* kinky

MC : *smiling* I think you're very pretty

Davy : *tensing up* wait-

MC : *moving closer* you deserve all love and affection

Davy : *moving away* no-

MC : *trapping them against a wall* your feeling are valid and deserve to be heard

Davy : *holding up their hands* i think we need a safeword

Davy : BITE ME THEN! RIGHT NOW BITE ME, BITCH

Eli : *eating popcorn* this is some delicious drama

MC : DON'T BRING YOUR KINK INTO THIS

Eli :

Jean :

Vic : you're so annoying

MC : stop holding my hand then

Vic :

Vic : No

Vic : LEAVE ME ALONE

MC : IM TRYING, LET GO OF MY HAND

Grey : *entering the room, looking absolutely content*

MC : What did you do this time?

Grey : nobody died

MC : I hate the fact that that's reassuring

LAST SINCE IT'S ALREADY TOO LONG IM SORRY!!

MC : Im so happy I could kiss you!

Eli : uhh.. neat.

(Later)

Eli : *laying face down on their bed* I said "neat" Jean. Who the fuck say neat these days? it's not neat to say neat, but I said it anyway because im stupid

Jean : *idly reading a book* Don't beat yourself too much, Eli. Everyone get nervous sometimes. Remember what happened when Davy confessed to me?

Eli : Didn't you, like, thank them?

Jean : *closes book and stares at the ceiling*

Jean : I fucking thanked them.

This is f*cking Grade A content, and I love you so much rn

[shotokimchi]

Hii! I feel like shit rn bc my boyfriend just broke up with me. I was wondering if you could write a bakugo x fem reader where class 1A is having a sleepover and the reader randomly gets a phone call. when she answers it it’s her boyfriend and he breaks up with her. so the whole night is basically just trying to cheer her up after that. and bakugo tells her that her ex was a dick and that she could do better/deserves better. just some baku fluff (Maybe her and baku start to date?) I totally understand if you can’t write this 🖤

Ofc, I’ll write a fic for you baby! I hope this makes you feel better and don't forget that there will always be people who will support you and love you no matter what! Just know that you deserve better <33333

Pairing: Bakugou x Reader

Warnings: none

Y/b/n: your bf’s name (but you can say jerk if you want to)

As every Friday night, class 1-A was having a slumber party in the common room. Everyone was gathered to eat junk food, tell stupid horror stories and have a pillow fight, even Bakugou was hyped for the pillow fight.  Bakugou, who managed to turn an innocent pillow fight into a real battle every time because of his contestant and ambitious character, was planning to do the same today. Everyone was sitting in the common room, it was crowded bc of some snacks, blankets, pillows and other unnecessary stuff.  Momo was trying to braid your hair, but you were so excited, you wanted to have a pillow fight and team up with Bakugou, he was very fast and had a strategy that’ll both lead you to victory. “Enough of this boring stuff!” Bakugou roared and pointed towards his pillow, “Let’s fight!” his sadistic smirk was sending shivers down your spine but it was somehow funny. Just when you were about to join him, your phone rang and everyone looked at you. “Sorry guys!” You muted your phone and turned towards Momo and whispered. “It’s y/b/n.” Momo gave a curious look towards your phone and whispered back “It can be an important thing, you should call back.” You nodded and when you were about to call y/b/n, your phone started to buzz in your hand. It was him, you had a weird feeling in your stomach but you ignored it “I’ll be right back, don't you guys dare have a pillow fight without me!” Mina gave a thumbs up and Kaminari whined “It’s your boyfriend isnt it? Arrgh why am i so single?!” Jirou snorted and replied “Because you are stupid.” Sero snickered and Kaminari pouted.

-

You went out of the dorm and sat on the stairs. It was a little cold and it caused you to tremble. You took a deep breath and answered the call. “Hey babe, what’s up?” When you heard a sigh coming from the other side of the line, you knew something was wrong. “Y/n, I can't do this anymore.” Your breath hitched in your throat and you tried to reply with a shaky voice. “W-what do you mean?” He was trying to be patient with you but you weren't having any of that. “Tell me!” He sighed again and started to talk with a stern voice “I don't want a relationship anymore, it feels like I don't have any freedom.” His reason for the break up made you even angrier, you weren't a controlling or possesive person, your relationship with your boyfriend was a healthy and happy one. “Are you cheating on me y/b/n? I never did stuff to restrict your freedom, im not a super jelaous or possessive person either! So you should give me a better reason than this!” When you didn't get any response, tears started to gather in your eyes. “No Y/n, I'm not cheating on you. I just don't want to date someone, it doesn't make me feel happy.” You started to shout “So you are throwing me away because you got bored! This is your reason?!” When he was about to reply, you hung up on his face and sat there with tears in your eyes. You wanted to sob loudly but didn't want to alarm or worry your classmates, just when you were about to get up, the door of the dorm opened.

-

Bakugou wasn’t a patient person so when you left to answer the call from your bf, he got pissed. “Why are we waiting hah?” Kirishima sighed and patted his shoulder “What if it's an important call?” Bakugou growled and got up from the floor “I can't wait for someone’s lovey-dovey shit!” Then started to walk towards the exit, he opened the door and saw you sitting with your head between your hands. “Oi L/n! You are making us wait-” just when he was about to burst, he heard Y/n’s silent sobs and realized that she was shaking. Bakugou could look like a mean person but he actually cared about his friends, so he started to walk towards her and waited. “O-oh Bakugou! I’m sorry, I’ll be there in a minute.” When she didn't turn to face him, Bakugou tched and sat next to her. “Why r u cryin?” He mumbled and she looked at him with a confused expression “Huh?” He was embarrassed bc he wasn't the perfect person for comforting, so he started to look somewhere else and shouted “I said why are you crying, dumbass!” Then she sniffled and started to play with her fingers “My boyfriend just broke up with me, he told me that he wasn't happy but... I gave my all, just for him.” When Y/n started to cry again, Bakugou felt mad, how can someone dump her when she gave everything she could? He remembered the times that she was going out on dates with her bf, that guy looked happy, so why he was being such an ass? Bakugou took a deep breath “Because he is a good damn extra and a jerk.” Y/n stopped sniffling and looked at him, she was listening to him so he continued. “I thought you were stronger than this, is this really gonna make you cry?” Normally someone would get angry or offended at his words but he was trying to comfort her and Y/n understood Bakugou’s intention, so she smiled. “No, I'm not weak. You are right Bakuogu, thank you.” Then she got up and gave him a small smile “Wanna team up with me for the pillow fight?” Normally his competitive personality wouldn't let him but since she was having a hard time Bakugou smirked “You better give your all!” She nodded and ran inside.

-

Your back was pressed against Bakugou’s, both of you were taking this pillow fight seriously so the others did the same. “Aaaaah!” You let out a battle cry and hit Mina with all your might, she backed away with wide eyes “Geez Y/n, I'm not a villain!” Bakugou let out a sadistic laugh “You scared raccoon eyes?” Then Kirishima charged at him and they started to wrestle on the ground, after taking care of Mina, you realised that Kirishima managed to knock the pillow out of Bakugou’s hand and he was blocking Kirishima’s hits with his arms, you quickly grabbed the pillow and shouted “Bakugou, catch!” You threw the pillow towards him and he gave Kirishima a sadistic smirk. Kirishima’s eyes widened “Uh-oh.” Now Bakugou was in advantage and you started to laugh but felt someone’s presence behind you “Todoroki!” You immediately dodged his pillow and swung yours at his face “You need to do better than that L/n.” Then you started to run around with Todoroki while laughing like a little toddler. Bakugou’s eyes fell on you and he sighed, “You are relieved that she’s happy now, huh?” Kirishima’s words made him scowl and he started to hit his friend “What do you mean shitty hair?!” Kirishima pushed Bakugou and managed to escape while shouting teasing words like ‘aww you actually care’ or ‘you are a great friend bro!’ oooor ‘softie’

-

After the pillow fight, most of your friends gave up bc of Bakugo and you. Then everyone started to get into their sleeping bags or layed on their mattresses, your eyes fell on Bakugou, he was getting ready to sleep. He usually slept early so you knew he was tired but decided to give a shot. You slowly approached him “Hey Bakugou, do you have a minute?” His eyes found your form and he had a stoic expression on his face, he wasn't scowling or growling. He nodded and got up but his eyes met with Kaminari and Sero’s they were grinning like stupid hyenas. He gave them a horrifying look and that shut them up. Then the both of you walked towards the kitchen, and you gave him a thankful smile. “Thank you so much for tonight Bakugou. If you wouldn't have come outside, I don't know if I could managed to handle my emotions.” He huffed and tried to look anywhere but you, he never got a sincere ‘thanks’ the only people who knew about his soft side was Kirishima, Kaminari and Sero. You couldn't control your happiness and gave him a quick hug, that caught him off guard and he tensed “S-sorry!” Actually, the real reason I wanted to talk with you is that... Uh, I know you like spicy food so wanna go grab some spicy fried chicken tomorrow?” He wasn't experienced when it came to doing stuff with people other than his squad so he felt nervous but he wasn't going to hide like a little boy so he nodded “Sure, whatever...” He answered like he didn't care but actually he was panicking.

-

After your conversation with Bakugou, the two of you left the dorms to have some spicy food and after that you started to chat about regular stuff like training, his hobbies and you told him that you love the arcade and even he had a calm expression on his face, you noticed the glint in his eyes when he heard the word ‘Arcade’. He huffed and mumbled “Guess we need to go to the arcade, what a pain...” But you grinned and decided to tease him, bc you knew that he wanted to go too. “You aren't gonna back away right? Bc I'm so good at those games!” His eyes widened “HAAAAH?! Are you underestimating me?!” You started to laugh and tugged at his coat “Ofc not! Come on, let's go!” He tched but didn't yank his arm, he let you tug on it and his expression softened.

-

And that's how you started to date Katsuki Bakugou, you guys were regularly going to the arcade to let out some stress, having spicy food competitions and going out for morning runs together. He always looked so calm and unaffected but, the butterflies in his stomach told him otherwise. You were funny, thoughtful, calming to be with, beautiful (but he calls you ugly, what a tsundere). You balanced him and he was relieved to have you in his life... Like every morning, you were jumping trying to stretch your muscles while waiting for him to come and join you for the regular morning run. When the door of the dorm opened, your eyes sparkled with happiness. “Good morning Katsu!” The nickname still made him blush, but he successfully managed to hide the pink dust on his cheeks and huffed. “Morning, dumbass.” You chuckled and pecked his cheek, his cheeks got warmer and he covered his face “What are you doing dumbass, it was weird! What if someone sees us?!” You chuckled and poked his cheeks “Its called affection, Katsu!” He grabbed both of your wrists and looked into your eyes, you were giving him the most beautiful smile. He tched and turned his cheek towards you, you gave him a confused look and he growled “What are you waiting for dumbass? Do it again..” He mumbled and you giggled, after showering him with a lot of kisses he was running like a god damn horse. His blood was pumping, he felt like his heart was about to get out of his chest but it wasn't because of running, it was the kisses... Then you managed to keep up with him and quickly pecked his cheek “Catch me if you can Katsu!” You speeded up and giggled, now his face was as red as Kirishima’s hair. “Come here!” He shouted and you laughed, your break up with your ex wasn’t a bad thing after all... You found someone who cared for you and loved you, even if he was bad at showing it, Bakugou Katsuki was the best boyfriend ever...

A/n: I hope you liked it baby! When I saw ur ask I immediately sat down and started to write it so I’m really sorry if its a mess <3

[luvdsc]

hi miss cat! so i just recently read ur fic “august” and it was so heartbreakingly beautiful btw :”) you have such an amazing gift for writing and i hope you continue cus you’re touching a lot of people with the words and scenarios you create,, and the way i just resonate with each character especially y/n?? WOW.

august is also such a memorable and nostalgic month for me cus i met this guy (we don’t communicate anymore tho). we met thru a similar group of mutual friends at a get-together. he lived cities away from me so we usually just communicate via text or online. there wasn’t a label or anything but we would talk for days end. like it was we were “together” but not really “together” JADHHSJAAJ sometimes i would even wait and stay up late at night for him just so we could talk and he would do vice versa as well.

we met during august and i confessed to him later during Christmas Eve. turns out,, the feelings were mutual but it felt weird at the same time?? like usually we feel giddy and happy even but somehow it felt odd?? like in the back of my mind i kinda knew that this was probably gonna be the end and turns out i was right.

after our confession, we didn’t talk for awhile. at first i thought he was just busy so i just waited for him, while waiting, i would constantly message him everyday and update him on what’s been going on with me. i got to the point where i was just desperate like it was okay if he didn’t reply, just at least a “read” to all of my messages would be enough for me. so i rlly related to y/n so much in the fic :”) (btw i’m listening to august by taylor swift as i’m typing this so i’m kinda in my feels rn LMAO)

after 1737271 years, he FINALLY read them and then he blocked me in all of his socials??? LIEK?? OKAY DOUCHE?! then i heard from his friends that he deactivated after for awhile,,, and then when he came back and reactivated, i was able to messaged him again and i was just fed up and completely hurt and confused and asked him why did he block me and just ghosted me for months after everything.

GUESS WHO REPLIED?? HIS GIRLFRIEND?? I DIDNT KNOW HE HAD A GIRLFRIEND,, AND EVEN HIS FRIENDS DIDNT TELL ME ANYTHING, NOR WAS IT SPECIFIED IN HIS SOCIALS?? SO NOT ONLY AM I HURT BUT I FEL DISGUSTED WITH MYSELF?? like i would never try to ruin a relationship :// it was all just so messy.

turns out when i met him during august he was already dating someone, and during December when i confessed to him, it was also the same month of their 1st year anniversary. basically i just wanted to bury myself alive and drown in my tears at this point. it was the first time i was ever so invested in someone but in the end it felt like shit :// he was my “almost” which hurt the most cus he wasn’t technically mine? FOR GODS SAKE ALL THIS TIME I WAS THE SIDE HOE WITHOUT ME EVEN KNOWING LIKE HELL NAW IM OVER THIS😫😤🤢

we chatted a few weeks after, and surprisingly he initiated the conversation as if nothing had happened? he noticed i was being distant and cold and he was like “are u mad at me” nO I JUST RLY WANT TO PUNCH U OFF TO THE NEXT HEMISPHERE CUS YOURE SUCH A DOUCHE!!! and then he was like “i’m sorry, although I don’t really know what i should say sorry for, but yea i’m sorry” the fact that he didn’t see the reason/purpose as to why he should say sorry just makes his apology all the more meaningless 😪🤧

after that we just started fighting and that was the last time we ever talked to each other. i blocked his number and all his social media accounts, i even unfriended our mutual “friends” since i just wanted to cut everything and everyone related and connected to him completely.

but now i’m okay:D looking back, he wasn’t even worth it. it’s just a shame that he was the first person i invested all my love and time to, despite all the distance and uncertainty, that’s what i regret the most. it was also hard cus although i didn’t know about his relationship with his girlfriend i felt disgusted and ashamed of myself for awhile. like the ghosting did hurt but him blatantly lying and flirting with me despite being in a committed relationship hurt worse i can’t even imagine what his gf feels ohgod.

i’m sorry this is so long. but like i said earlier, you really have such a gift for writing and i hope that life offers you lots and lots of colorful, beautiful and fun moments in your life, like how it is in all your stories! hehe ❤️💫✨💐💐 stay safe miss cat and i’m wishing u all the best <3

hi, honey bee !! 💓 omg thank you so much for reading august and saying such nice things about it 🥺🥺💟 and you’re so sweet klashaskfdlj i’m gonna cry, thank you for complimenting my writing 😭💗💗 it makes me really happy to know that my stories can make you feel this way and that you can put yourself in yn’s shoes :’) 

oh god... reading what happened to you, i’m so so sorry that you wasted your time on such a d!ck /: he sounds absolutely disgusting, and the fact that he can’t even see where he went wrong??? also how his friends didn’t say anything?? jfc cheating is the one thing that makes me the most upset, like.... why would he do that???? if you wanna hook up with someone, break up with your s/o first. it’s a douche move, sure, but it’s the worst to cheat. you’re breaking your s/o at that point ): i’ve unfortunately seen both sides of this because of my friends, and god, i’ve seen the strongest girls get broken down because their trust is broken and they think it’s their fault and it’s just so so painful. i’m so sorry you had to go through this, lovebug ):

good on you for cutting off your mutual friends and everything associated with him. you don’t need that in your life, and i’m really happy that you’re doing okay and thriving now, sweetpea 🌸 i’m sorry that he was your first relationship ): i hope that, if you choose to try again, the next person knows how lucky they are to have you 🤍 you should not be disgusted nor ashamed of yourself, angel ): he’s the one who should be feeling those things. you didn’t know, and it’s not your fault. he hurt you and his gf, and that’s on him. (and i hope his gf dumped his sorry @ss)

and it’s okay, lovebug, you don’t have to apologize! 💞 thank you for wanting to share your thoughts and feelings after reading august 🥺💕 and thank you so so sooo much 😭💛 all my stories are based heavily on my life, so i’d say that life has indeed offered me tons of colorful and beautiful and fun moments :’) fingers crossed that i continue to receive more tho!!!! and i hope for the same for you, honey bee !!! i hope life treats you kindly and only good things come your way 🌼🌼 thank you again, lovebug, and i hope you’re staying safe and happy, and i’m sending you all my love and support 🌷🌷🌷✨

[kirishimas-manly-eyeliner]

omg hi im here to vent a lil 👉👈

YOU CAN TOTALLY IGNORE THIS AHAHA THIS IS HONESTLY JUST TO GET SOME FEELINGS OUT

stress is going whhooOOOOP from school hngndjg- lots of crying and pressure going on over there ewww (totally broke down on my way to krispy kremes BUT THATS OKAY!! isjdjdje literally couldn't breathe oop; also PLEASE talking to the cashier while there were tears under my mask KSJDIA)

gotta keep my gpa up, no matter whaaatttt

ALSO i got this decision i gotta make- ik if i dont choose this one option, imma regret it, but ill be very unhappy for another year or so. BUT THATS OKAY TOO :D

and i feel so unproductive irl :( i just cant bring myself to do work yk? i know how lazy im being, i tell myself to do work, but i still do nothing all day. and when the day's over, next thing you know, i did absolutely nothing and i totally beat myself up for not doing anything sdsjske- like WHAT ARE YOU DOING?? WASTING TIME LIKE THIS?? the only thing im productive on is tumblr hehe

AHHKK AND I CANT TALK TO ANYONE ABOUT THIS- i cant bring myself to talk to my friends- they all think im this happy bubbly person and i dont wanna kill the mood :( i just joke around yk?? "oh haha i did nothing all dayyyy~ its great being meeeee" LMAO AND THEY LAUGH AND IM JUST DKDUEIEO

hnnngg i also think i MAY be falling for one of my close guy friends oop- hes prrreeetttyyy much the only person who has a slight idea of how im feeling- PLEASE WE TALK EVERY DAY AND WJDJFIHSOS my hearttt- dont wanna ruin our friendship tho so i gotta shut up hehe (OSJFIEIE NOT HIM TEXTING AS SOON AS I FINISHED WRITING THIS OMG)

anywayyysss other than that IM DOING GREAT

SORRY THIS ASK WAS LITERALLY ALL OVER THE PLACEEEE

ILYYYYYY MWAHHH

SORRY FOR DUMPING THIS ALL ON YOU 😭😭😭

oh no morosis it’s okay!! honestly just tell me whatever you need whenever, bc omg this sounds so difficult for you rn 😭

AND I THINK YOU VENT A LOT LIKE ME?? It’S LIKE YOU LOWKEY TURN IT INTO A JOKE BC YOU DON’T WANNA BURDEN tHE OTHER PERSON, BUT THEN YOU’RE ACTUALLY DYING INSIDE AND WHEN THEY DISMISS YOU YOU GET CONFUSED LIKE IS THAT JUST ME

anyways-

any no no productivity guilt is 10000 percent understandable! i get it a lot (yes, a lot bc yes-) and honestly, i’ve just learned to accept that it happened, but never dwell on it ever again. and if i do it again the next day? i pick myself up (it won’t be easy, but you got this!) and say that i’ll just do better tomorrow, and mean it. the reason why we procrastinate isn’t because we have poor time management skills, it’s because we’re subconsciously trying to avoid things that could cause us pain, so we choose to avoid it instead. but if you get rid of the thing that causes you the pain, or at least make it easier, then you’re more likely to get started. 

as someone who has adhd and procrastinates more than anything else, a huge huge tip would definitely be to start with something that you know you can’t fail. for instance, just start off with something as simple as pulling up that Google Doc, or opening up your assignment, or flipping to that page in your notebook! just do the bare minimum, and start off with that.

some other productivity tips that have seriously helped me are: 

1. listen to lofi music, and i MOST DEFINITELY recommend Avatar: The Last Airbender for that specific genre! that’s because i’m always hanging around in the fandom, but if i’m listening to something from it, it’s like i’m already subconsciously hanging around in the fandom while i’m doing the work. 

2. or listen to some haikyuu lofi music by Ambition lol-  

3. clean your fricken room, this took me 50 years to get-- clear room, clear mind!

4. Use the Pomodoro strategy! do 25 minutes of deep work, block all other sites, and then after take a five minute break. it’ll go 10x faster than it normally does if you don’t get started, and you can always find Study With Me videos on YouTube!

AND OOOOH LA LA A CUTE BOY??? dang girlie, idk how you fall in love with real people but i got so much respect for ya 😭😭 ALSO NO DON’T FEEL SORRY YOU MATTER TO ME AND I CARE ABOUT YOUUUUU ILY

[lesyah]

Guardian stream of consciousness watchthrough ep. 37

Omg what did they do to old li

He died?!!!!?

He wanted to make dried fish for him one more time? I’m so depressed

They really had the fourth sacred item the whole time, packed away in a box 😭

Can’t ever be simple can it

Of course the WICK is in the underworld.

“Ok let’s go together, Shen Wei 🥰”

“No ❤️”

Lin jing? He was eaten

Omfgggg it’s scheduled!!!!! WTF!!!!!

ah this all sucks I hate it here

I was just upset at him, I didn’t want him to die 😭😭

“I have to go back to the snake tribe”

“Ok let’s go together. What are you surprised? First of all—me too. I can’t go with shen wei to the underworld so :/. And second of all, I don’t want u to die either :)”

Shen Wei is like why are you putting your hands in the middle like that??? Anyway, I’ll do it too, I’m just here to have fun 😊

The way zhao yunlan put his hand on top of shen wei even though his hand was already in lmao

Zhao yunlan: everyone must come back!!!!!! *eyes shen wei* that includes you too, punk, don’t think I forgot what happened last time you went by yourself to the underworld

Ummmmm I’m sorry, the humans were just being annihilated outside and they didn’t notice????????? What in the heck

“Changcheng, your ability can help people........you fool!!!!!!!! Why did you use your ability”

Ok shuzhi relax

Shen Wei I believe in u

OMG HE SPAT A TON OF BLOOD

R U OKAY BABE????????????? IM WORRIED ABOUT U

Chu shuzhi looking at changcheng like

The labyrinth forest power is awesome

THE WAY HE WALKED INTO THE TREE HAHAHA

the way da qing grabbed her by the NECK lol

“Just a silly cat” take that back u clown

YES ZHU HONG BEING A BADDIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FINALLY!!! WHERE WAS THIS ENERGY BEFORE???

Did she kill her?? YES

“Not completely useless” oh my GOSH could you be any meaner to her lmao

They just dumped leaves on his face hahahaha

Yes crow lady finally acquiring brain cells

Ohhhh boy who will sprout the sacred stick

Ahhhh really? Zhu Hong?????

I mean I guess so 🤷🏻‍♀️

Zhu Hong I love u

Watching the water pour on the stick was so relaxing and had such a nice sound. I could watch that all day.

I’m dead at zyl’s face when that guy failed to confess his feelings Hahahaha

He was like ahhhhhhhh not quite buddy

Ahhhh she made it sprout!!!!!!!!! YES BABY!!!!

CHIEF ZHU HONG

SHES SO CUTE SHES FREAKING OUT

zhao yunlan is such a little jerk omg the way he rubbed it in to ya qing

She’s gonna be the best chief EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Even ya qing smiled. Crying in the club rn.

Changcheng is still passed out? Wtf

Stories really be starting to wrap up. I can’t take it.

Shen Wei I’m so worried about u

Ewwwww Lin jing is in a giant stomach 😭😭

That’s nasty 🤢

The way he’s just chilling in there ew lol

Wang Zheng and sang zan pls??????

HE ATE SHA YA’S GUITAR HAAAAHAHAHAHA

HE JUST HAS CLOTHES AND STUFF IN HIS STOMACH BECAUSE IT CANT BE DIGESTED?

THATS SO FUNNY

Um

Guys.......

The old man’s son is working for ye zun

And he

Knocked shen wei out

I am

Upset

To say the least.

Wait he’s awake???!!!!!!!!!

I’ve only ever been confused watching this show

[mikeshanlon]

iwwv anon and PHEW OK. I def did not expect that essay and now I feel bad cause I KNOW my thots r not gonna be articulate or right. nonetheless! i think Oliver does qualify as an unreliable narrator cause hes. very oblivious but not like... Richard papen (who is a whole ass clown don't get me started on tsh) but not like addy from dare me(I will support till the day I die that dare me is da like I WILL die on this hill) who sees what she wants to see. 1/?

i think he just... thinks that his friends r diff ppl than they actually r? that doesnt rly make sense but yea. what I mean is that everything the characters do is coated in that empathetic view Oliver has which is usually wrong? so we don't get an objective look into the characters. meredith is my girl like I love the hot popular girl trope deconstruction but at the end of the book she's not at a great place like she's w someone that doesn't love her like she needs to be loved... 2/

I guess the most probable ending is that James never meets Oliver again and that everyone is kinda stuck on what happened but that's soo sad and I really don't want to think abt it. ngl iwwv wasn't like my fave book ever and I really don't understand why people are so obsessed with dark academia sometimes but what i rly liked abt the book is that despite how fucked up everyone is and how toxic they r to each other they do at heart care abt one another...3/

like I rly liked that esp cause at that point the only other da book (other than dare me!) that I had read was tsh and godd every character is so fuckinh annoying and they all hate each other. i was super confused by it till I saw someone saying that it's satire and I felt my mind explode. I feel like this is so long but I didnt rly properly answer all you wrote sorry! I think its a pretty good book tho it has some crazy quotes like hold awn Im gonna look at the highlighted stuff on my copy.. 4/

Were you in love with him?” “Yes,” [...]Yes, I was.” It’s not the whole truth. The whole truth is, I’m in love with him still. LIKEEE PHEWW OK OK OK. WE OUT HERE. that line literally made me go crazy. I'm so sorry for any spelling mistakes or like general mistakes I made here English isn't my first language, it's 1am and I wrote this in the notes app w/o looking it over. so like.. NOT a professional review lemme tell you. 5/5

 Ahh im so sorry I did not see this before I yeeted for a month!!!

Oooh okay first of all dare me as a DA… I’ve only watched the show but like yeah I see the Elements for sure.

Also yeah I can understand what you mean abt Oliver being an unreliable narrator now… Ig my view of unreliable was more like they are purposefully twisting the truth or omitting facts or just literally don’t know shit but I get how personal bias can make the narrator unreliable. I do think the assertion that Oliver thinks his friends are different than they actually are makes sense. He sees James in a very positive light and though I like James a lot and think he is better than, like, Richard, he definitely has darker moments and manipulates Oliver at times (again I’d like to think it’s not the most nefarious thing in the world but like him just being shitty bc he’s in a dark place and he one, wants to do anything he can so Oliver doesn’t figure out he fought Richard so Oliver still thinks of him the same way/bc he knows Oliver would do something stupid like get himself arrested for James; and two, is very jealous that Oliver is with Meredith after Richard dies and has sort of a somewhat positive outcome from Richard’s death versus James being riddled with guilt and anger). And yeah, the probable ending is they never meet but I refuse to acknowledge that so LGNRG. Also that line makes me go CRAZZZZZZZZZZY!!! There are so many great lines, both using Shakespeare and on their own and its like okay give me a moment im going bonkers…

Personally, I haven’t read that many dark academia novels yet (bc for some reason i can barely finish a book rn sigh) but the concept interests me. I think what’s compelling is the setting/atmosphere of like ~mysterious college vibes~, and the idea of a sort of niche, obsessive bond and pursuit of knowledge with a tight knit group of friends (and the like inherent homoeroticism in every single DA elrngenrg). Like Dead Poet’s Society (the film I haven’t read the book) isn’t Dark in the same way most other dark academia is by like, obsession and death and manipulation (though of course there are dark elements with Neil’s storyline), but I think the other building blocks of academia are present there in a more wholesome way and you can see why people are drawn to that idea. As for the more Dark aspects I think it’s interesting to analyze things like group psyche, obsession, manipulation, etc, like what went wrong for everything to take such a dark turn???

 But, like everything else, it really has to be done well or else its just like okay….… I’ve tried to read TSH twice and I may try again but from the 100+ ish pages I read I totally get what you mean. IWWV is so interesting to me bc the characters are all very compelling and multifaceted and I like that they are a close friendship, we come in after 4 years of them spending all the time together and to me that is apparent. Like you said, we can see fissures and problems especially as the novel continues but there is care there between them. That also makes the decision to let Richard die much more interesting and sinister imo, as well as how all of them interact with each other after he dies, and how the roles of the group change without their “leader” so to speak. Also, maybe it’s just bc I like Shakespeare, but I think the academia part of IWWV is so much more accessible compared to TSH. Like I don’t know every Shakespeare play or anything so I didn’t understand every nuance or was like immediately like oh this is from Cymbeline or whatever the fuck, but you could understand the gist of things and it made sense that they spoke in Shakespeare lines bc that’s all they’ve been doing for four years and also theatre kids are Like That. Their pretention also provided any Layers to the story, like the parallels between the characters they play and their own arcs, how some of the lines echoed their own thots, foreshadowed, or they were able to say things through Shakespeare (I’m thinking of like, Oliver realized he loved James during Romeo and Juliet, the foreshadowing that James was going to ruin Richard’s life and that he dislikes Meredith/Richard when he quotes Mercutio at the start “A plague o’ both your houses”, the exchange Oliver and James had onstage and had that kiss during King Lear before Oliver was arrested,etc.) (Also I think the structure of some of the dialogue being formatted like a play really helped make it feel more realistic and immersive). Versus TSH which is just so pedantic and dense and hard to follow at times im like I get they are smart but what??? And maybe that’s part of the satire aspect (or maybe im dumb) but like donna I read TGF I know you are pretentious and info dump abt random obscure shit anyways so erglknerg. Like to me there was a Point to all of the academic Shakespeare stuff in IWWV and it was the soul of the book, and M.L. Rio made it very interesting—like the way that the directors reimagined the plays and had Julius Caesar be like a modern political play, the cool mirror shit in King Lear, the Macbeth and Romeo and Juliet performances where they did them at events and interacted with their environments (which were one of my favorite parts of the books bc I just think that concept is so interesting), etc. For TSH the shit they did literally just felt like “okay look at them they’re smart see you can’t even keep up!” like okay… I felt lost a lot and only like snapped into reality whenever Henry (?) was like oh… murder….. and even then I was like idk what this dude is saying but like he’s being darksided LMAO. And I also agree that it’s just like… Richard being thrown in the middle of this group could lend itself to some cool ideas but its hard to believe that he fits into the friendship group and hes just like hell yeah I love Greek so much and lets go kill this guy other than like okay ur gay and stupid and just want to impress Henry or whatever his name was (which he was but I digress). It’s just not as impactful to me as this close friend group falling apart. Ik TSH fans might be angry if they see this (and of course I haven’t finished the book so my perception may be warped but I also kno many ppl felt that way u did) bc I’ve seen ppl say IWWV is just like TSH but “lackluster” or whatever and while I can see some parallels (mostly b/w Richard and Henry and Alexander and Francis), I really think M.L. Rio expanded upon common DA tropes and the interesting parts of TSH but made it her own and interesting and oh yeah there are actually multiple compelling female characters and LGBT characters (and no incest)!!!