#soupy rants

[stewpid-soup]

vent post part 2 bc i hit the word limit! woopsues :p

take care everybody <333

TW/CW: breakup, moving, attempted suicide (not me), hopelessness, lots of sad venting

his mom responded, said everyone was okay and that my boyfriend was sick. i was confused bc he normally texted me no problem when he was sick, even when i would tell him to rest instead. i told her i was glad they were okay and to stay safe and take care.

fast forward, it’s the ninth day since i saw him in person. long story short, we called. he had texted beforehand that he was sorry he didn’t respond, a lot happened and he would explain. but he said he didn’t want it to change whatever decision i had made. i said okay. we called. i found out he had attempted to kill himself. he called the police on himself and was put into the psychward for eight days. i was glad he was okay, and he said that while the circumstances sucked- he was glad he went. he needed that time for himself, needed to talk to a professional. i was proud he was getting help. but we continued to talk, i clarified some things and we talked for two hours. the call ended with my verdict being: i wanted him to decide whether he felt he was in a good enough headspace or not to pursue a relationship. i told him it would be hard work, that things would be awkward for a long tiem, that i didnt forgive him for what he did, but that i loved him and was willing to work things out if he was ready for that. he admitted to being scared. j told him it was okay, i told him to take the time he needed to take care of himself and make whatever decision. the call ended on alright terms, we didnt text for a few days. at the time i had told him that taking a break was an option.

but then i found out i was moving. it was very sudden, but it was too good of a deal for my parents to refuse. we needed more space, and we needed to get out of LA. i texted him that, saying that it might impact his decision so i thought i would let him know.

we called the night after that text after i ate dinner. he said he wanted a break because he wasn’t in the right headspace. i said that i was proud of him for being honest. i also said that because im moving, and because to me it feels like the healthiest option for both of us, that the best decision would be to end things on a good note. i said that i didn’t want to put so much hope on a maybe, only for him to move on during that time while i held on to him. i said that it didn’t mean i would ignore him, or that i didn’t love him, or that things couldn’t change in the (far) future. i said that right now, the best decision feels like ending things on a good note. he said that made sense. we cried a lot. im going to (hopefully) see him tomorrow to return his favorite hoodie, and get in a final goodbye. because even though he’s now my ex-boyfriend, he’s still someone i considered my best friend. someone i care about. i told him i’d be there if he needed me, but that i didn’t think we’d be talking regularly for a long while. that things would be awkward. he said okay. we called for an hour that time. i laughed with him for a bit, and it felt good. having one more normal conversation. i ended the call. i’ve sobbed because of my chronic pain, but it’s been a long time since i’ve cried so hard because i felt so hurt and sad. i know it’s over, but i miss him. i miss us. i have all his gifts and it hurts to look at them, but i dont think i can throw them away. i might have to get a bigger memory box because there’s so much in there now lol

over the calls and stuff, i worded myself a lot better than im typing rn. im just elly hurting and needed to vent before my brain shut off for the week (idk HOW ima do homework). im glad things ended how they did, but it doesn’t take away how much i love him. but i have people supporting me. so i know i’ll be okay, in the end. but i just needed to dump all my stupid thoughts and feelings somewhere, and this is the only place that i feel like i can vent and yell out into existence without him seeing it and getting the wrong idea.

now ima go sleep, bc im exhausted. spent all day packing stuff up. take a pic of my cat and sumn my mom got me a year or so ago to make me smile.

if anyone made it this far, ty for reading my rants even tho u didnt have to. i appreciate u listening, whether u comment or not. <33 much love to everyone and stay safe. things will get better. even if it feels fucking hopeless right now, things will get better. stay strong everyone <3

[placebo-ambrosia]

i’m actually not a terrible cook just made some banging chickpea soup(ish) new faaaaav

[soupacool]

the leftism leaving people's bodies when people have different hygiene habits that are better for their hair/skin/sensory issues

[energetically-exhausted]

okay, so, i had to scrap a complete rant because it was just me screaming, and it gave me a headache, so, take two.

In Case I Make It is probably the most beautiful album i've ever heard in my life. i can't name one song in it that i haven't cracked a smile (at my vows, and whispered, 'wow. can you believe we really made it?') at. even the hated three: Big Fat Bitchie's is iconic and stimmy, You Liked This is a masterpiece (SUBWAY - eat fresh.), Vampire Reference in A Minor SLAPS, I DON'T CARE WHAT ANYONE SAYS. i have cried several times, and i have no clue how many times i have put its songs on loop for hours. it's definitely a Will Wood album, and i will cherish it for as long as i live. Euthanasia will be my comfort song for every grievance in my life. Tomcat Disposables will always make me sad. The Main Character will always have me screaming its lyrics. Um, It's Kind of A Lot will always get stuck in my head. the list goes on. very special album to me.

so William, grow up. be a man. 'cause until then, they're gonna treat you like you're just a little girl.

dandelions grow in dirt. magic mushrooms grow in piles of bull-shit.

if you need MEEEEEEE, I'LL be in my COFFIN.

i'm DOWN POUNDING MY HEAD against the KITCHEN FLOOR, apologizing for my life and ever entering yours.

imagine me just like my parents... YEAHHHHH RIIIIGHT.

i've never understood what humans do and want. it's quite confusing to me to try to connect. never learned how i should feel. instincts somehow stunted. just seem haunted by my stupid urge to protect.

check 1, 2. check, check 1, 2. it's high fidelity lost in its quality it's MP1, 2, 3, 4, 5 FLAC. it's polyphonic, the NEW PHILHARMONIC, with a Juilliard Doctorate. LIVE FROM THE METROPOLITAN. it's theoretically dense, it's impressive. it's microtonal and it challenges Western notions of art, it's POST-AVANT-GARDE. it's goin' places, 'cause it COMES FROM THE HEART, AND ITS PERSONALITY'S A LACK OF IDENTITY. IT MAKES NO STATEMENT, BUT DOES SO QUITE LOUDLY. it's an aesthetic. i mean AN ANESTHETIC. and it's an experience for your seventh sense, yes. does it cure cancer? YES, IT CURES CANCER. wow! IT BEGS THE QUESTION JUST TO TELL YOU THE ANSWER. DO YOU BELIEVE IN THE POWER OF SILENCE? WELL, IF YOU WALK THE WALK CAN YOU TALK MORE- shh, quiet! WHIIIIIIIIIIITE NOISE.

Whenever I see people call ICIMI boring or the worst album this image flashes in my mind

[lottiecrabie]

you think that when they strat dating she gives up control 🤭

oh that’s a very interesting question! (here she goes🙄✍️) i believe that she does give up control, but it’s probably a rarer thing. i can see her as more submissive, but tbh i struggle seeing him take on a dominant role, so i think it’s probably a strange mix of the two. i don’t believe he’s doing anything that includes degradation or violence towards her, just cos he’s a little noodle boy and he wouldn’t want to. but, you know, after he gains sexual confidence, he could bend her over the desk.

i actually intended on adding a block of dialogues where she talks about how she does actually want to surrender after the whole ‘pet under the desk’ bit. (it started like ‘Your brain is soupy enough to run your mouth. “I want—” You start, but lose your guts. He hums, showing he’s listening. Your heart races against your ribs. “Sometimes, I want to, like— I don’t know, lose control.”’) i didn’t end up including it because i felt like it convoluted the dynamic of the story and was an unnecessary add-on to a one-shot, but the knowledge still Exists in my mind palace.

since the characters have a lot more layers in my head, especially reader, the idea of her relinquishing control makes a lot of sense. i’ve said that she’s kind of a bitch and a mean girl (with all the love<33 i adore evil women<3), and i’ve hinted at her having the instinct to destroy and ruin and self-sabotage. i think her ‘mean’ behavior is in parts due to that self-destructive instinct and her lashing out (i haven’t really decided on a reason why, maybe her parents that ‘pretend they don’t exist’). although she is confident and has an ego, i see her as having some self-loathing about her personality and her incapability of Not hurting people.

anyway, that was all a big rant to say that i think her desire to lose control comes from wanting to not have to listen to that instinct and be able to step away from it. i also think somewhere in her she wants to be ‘punished’ for it, hence why she would want to be dominated (though, again, i don’t think tutor!matty could do punishments). anyway, it would all in all be an interesting dynamic for them! pretty secretly meaningful and touching

[ophidianoccultist]

Serenity

Garreth Weasley x GN!Reader

=====================

hi this is a short little fluffy thing for 🎉weasley wednesday🎉, hope you enjoy :) also i dont know if scotland gets soupy but i need to write and rant about how fucking hot it is where i am so shhhhh

Prompt: It's peak summertime, and you and Garreth are in the Forbidden Forest gathering potion ingredients. But the heat is overwhelming, so you take a break in a creek you come across.

Word count: 584

Walking outside in the heat was like walking straight into a bowl of soup. It was thick and humid, the air seeming to weigh more than the trees themselves, and making anyone walking out in the open feel like sinking into the ground to escape the sun. Garreth and Y/N were certainly feeling the mid-August heat as they trod through the forest collecting toadstools and fluxweed and other tidbits they came across for his asinine potion experiments. They both walked carefully over the roots and mossy stones that littered the ground of the Forest; one could never be too careful when venturing through. The pair also carried mildly heavy sacks with them, the weight of which only made them sweat more.

Merlin, the sweating.

Y/N sat on a large root to rest, and started fanning themself to cool off. The two had already undone a few buttons on their shirts and loosened their ties, but when it was this hot outside, there was nothing much else one could do. Their hair clung to their face and their clothes clung to their bodies, and they had even considered at one point heading back early. Garreth sat down beside his friend and took a long breath before complaining:

"Merlin's beard, I feel as if I'm about to melt. And you don't look any better than I do, Y/N."

"Oh come off it, Weasley, I always look better than you do."

Y/N snorted, but what had said was true. The two were drenched in sweat and drowning in the grating sound of cicadas to add to the ambience of it all. The two sat for a moment before Y/N heard water running and stood up to look around. Not too far off behind them, was a decently sized creek, which looked cool and crisp and oh, so enticing.

"Hey Garreth?"

The ginger pushed his hair back and looked up at his companion, who was pointing over at the creek. They simply exchanged a grin as they set their supply sacks down and jogged over to the creek. It was just deep enough to lay down in without inhaling water, but that was good enough for them. The two laid down on their backs across the hard, but cool stones as they enjoyed the sensation of the fresh water lightly rushing over them. Y/N closed their eyes, taking the time to absorb and take relief in the atmosphere. The tepid water, the gentle sound of it rushing by their heads, the sound of nearby frogs that had the same idea as them. The sound of the croaking frogs was quite soothing, until one landed right on Y/N's face. That definitely pulled them out of their relaxed state.

"Eugh! Am I not already slimy and gross enough right now?"

Garreth sat up and looked down at his friend, with a grimace (and also frog slime) plastered across their face. He giggled before gently saying:

"Here, let me get that for you..."

He cupped some of the clear, cool water in his hands and gently let it pour over Y/N's face, using his thumbs to wipe away the sticky substance. When it was all cleared away, Y/N opened their eyes and stared up at the best friend, smiling. Garreth may be a goofball and a klutz, but he was brilliant to have around at times like this. The tenderness and care that he showed could make someone fall for him...

[onyourstageleft]

tw: pet health, animal sickness, cancer mention

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idk how to do a read more on mobile sorry y'all but this is your chance to scroll on

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so Peggy has some lumps under her skin. we noticed them on Tuesday night, there's two of them close together on her hip. called the vet this morning and they got her in at 2pm and took a biopsy and they'll call me back either Saturday or Monday with what's going on, they won't speculate or anything, but I did the very unwise pet parent thing and took to Google and based on everything I can find it is most likely fibrosarcoma which is a difficult to treat cancer and also expensive bc it involves surgery and continuous radiation/chemotherapy for several months and frankly I don't care how much it costs I will go into all the debt for this cat, I have a 9k limit on CareCredit and am unafraid to max it out + my other credit cards it's not even the money that bothers me, but if I'm right about what it is the prognosis isn't great for long term health and that is going to break me. She's my baby, she's only 7, she was literally the only thing keeping me from going off the deep end at some points in college, she's supposed to meet the kids I want to have in a few years, she's been here for most of my adult life and I will absolutely lose my sanity if I lose her anytime in the next few years. she has to make it to 10, ideally she'd be around for another 10 years past that but I'm realistic, I know 12 is perfectly reasonable so that's what the goal has always been, I literally can't do this without her. and my partners love her SO. MUCH. Peyton dotes on her, he's only been around for 5 of those years but he is so so in love with this cat, she is our baby, I would be lost without her so uhh if this turns out to be what I am afraid it is, don't be surprised if long form rant text posts become more common here bc I will absolutely lose more than a shred of my sanity.

also I guess don't be surprised if you see some sort of fundraising post from me in the future bc while I am unafraid to max out credit cards those bitches will want their money back at some point and I am unfortunately not a rich bitch, although quite frankly that is the least of my priorities rn, I just want to do whatever I possibly can for my baby. logically I know that I've done what I can but the anxiety is running away with me rn. like what if the tiny spot I felt on her a couple months ago and then couldn't find again when I looked for it was this before it got big what if I could have caught it earlier I should have been more diligent in checking or made a note of exactly where the tiny spot was initially so even if I couldn't find it again maybe the vet could have? I know I didn't put it off substantially and I really trust this vet they've been great but I could HEAR her as they were trying to numb and biopsy the spots she was so angry at them and once they shaved the area it looks SO much bigger than we could feel, like we knew there was one spot but were iffy on a second one and you can see them so clearly now they're big and slightly discolored and I am afraid. thankfully she hasn't been acting any different like she was literally having zoomies this morning but the idea of not having her zooming around makes me want to crawl into a bog and be preserved for a thousand years okay

anyway i know I've posted pics of her at some point but it's been a while so idk what I tagged them or where to find them but if you believe in literally anything at all I would appreciate an appeal on her behalf like I know there are so so many bigger things going on but Peggy Sue is my baby. other alises include Soupy Peg, Miss Ma'am, Peggum, Pegasus, Peggle, Soupiest, etc if you would like to be specific.

okay I'm gonna go take a bath now and try to read a book bc I need to not be on the internet rn, let's all spare a collective thought for my sanity

[caelumsnuff]

genuinely curious! can you explain why you think sam and darlin’s personality got nuked? thanks!

Thank you for the ask!

I don't know how to order this so it may end up being a little word soupy, and a lot of this may be repetitive and reminiscent of things ive said before.

TLDR; The amount of fluff that has been inserted into their story line did not and has not provided optimal chance to display uniqueness of their personalities because a lot of Erik’s fluff is generic comfort content. Cuddling, sleep aids, along with some Spicy audios here or there doesn’t provide enough room for personalization to differentiate them from other characters. Plus both of them seeming pretty OOC in some parts of these most recent videos. You gotta Put Those Guys in Situations, ones in which their personalities have more room to bloom.

word soup below the cut

I think the basis of their personalities in the beginning are actually really good. I find them towards the beginning to be interesting and complex, but as the "story" went along i feel like they lost of what made them interesting in the first place.

Sam was this distant member of the Solaire clan who knew healing magic, southern cowboy with the typical southern sass and stubbornness. Darlin started out as very mysterious, very stubborn also, estranged lone wolf searching for an old blood vampire who hurt a human friend of theirs, and what do ya know! It's the same vampire that attacked Fred and Bright, Sam's progeny, they're intertwined in this really wild way. We start uncovering a little bit about them, Sam's turning, more about Darlin's history all that. And for a slow burn romance, their relationship moves forward really fast, which in itself isn't the worst thing in the world! That's chill, they're bonding over shit.

But the whole meeting thing, the reason they really bonded in the first place, is Quinn. And we saw what happened with him, pushed aside, solved as an afterthought. Like, Darlin's stubbornness was written away very quickly (which i've complained about a lot here, the whole "friendship heals all" speeches and all) as well as Sam's own stubbornness and sass. The way that they were done makes it seems like it's because they got in a relationship, but your personality doesn't tone down when you get in a relationship. You don't stop being so sassy or stubborn bc of a relationship, and if you do it doesn't happen that quickly. Nor does it happen because of other people ranting to you.

A major part of the reason it comes off that way is because of the amount of fluff that was inserted into their story. Which isn't in itself a bad thing, but redacted's fluff tends to be stereotypical comfort content, which gets a little.... formulaic and repetitive. It's not that it's bad, but its all his fluff is very much the same, just with different characters. And when you write the same thing over and over with very little changes, you kinda erase a lot of what makes these character's unique.

Like idk, i feel there's ways to make fluffy content that shows off a character's personality. I think Vincent's recent date video and Gavin's recent studying video are really good examples! They had so much personality in those videos! And there were ways to do this with Sam and Darlin, and honestly the Quinn arc ending like this was a major missed opportunity to show off their characters even if it's not necessarily fluff content.

Idk, i really hope this makes sense?? I'm sorry if this is incomprehensible word soup, but if you go look in my pinned at the sam and darlin links you should find more of what i've said about them.

[comfy-sofa]

Should I do an episode rant today? I think I'm just gonna reblog others instead.

Edit: I have too many thoughts going through my soupy brain right now so fuck it RANT TIME

Ok, I had a theory for episodes 6-7 that Livio would appear but not Razlo as a sort of test subject. He fails his mission, gets called back by the EOM, and the next time we see Livio he'll be bigger/buffer and THEN we'll see Razlo. Well, I was right that the EOM would get him I guess...

Seeing the return of the animation for Wolfwood/Livio's memories is always good, give me more. Plus the fact that we're slowly getting some memories from Livio is good

RAZLO I SEE YOU BITCH I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOUUUUUU AGAIN he even looked like he had his older design too! PLEASE I BEG

Also when it comes to the L/R's mask, I'm starting to think the purpose is to suppress BOTH L/R making them easier to control and manipulate. Like the moment that thing breaks completely is when we get to see Razlo in action

I honestly like that Vash is a lot more physical/combat based in this. I feel like it adds to his "life is sacred" mindset and allows him to have more control when it comes to being in fights (I hope that makes sense)

WHERE IS BRILLIANT DYNAMITES NEON???? ORANGE IM IN YOUR WALLS also Kite isn't here either kinda missed the banter between him and Vash

That little photoshoot with the bad lads and Meryl was funny/cute more moments like this please

Also for this scene I was kinda confused on why Vash was inside the sandsteamer. I kinda have theory that he was going to the old control panel so he can stop the steamer that way but got sidetracked with Meryl and Roberto being there. So he decided to protect them first and get them out of harms way (I knew you cared about them Vash<3)

Legato just being a drama queen and just activating a WHOLE ASS CANON??? Speaking of the Canon WHY THE FUCK DOES THE STEAMER HAVE A CANON??? I'm at a loss with this one y'all

ZAZIE DOING BUG SHIT YESSSSS. If they fuck up L/R Zazie is going to be my new favorite (lol they always were)

I'm sorry but it's probably due to how serious everything was for the past 6 episodes why do they think they can carry this (once again) LARGE-ASS CANON??? Honestly, it made me laugh (no wonder Vash's prosthetic cracked like sIR)

THE PLANT...I kinda have mixed feelings on. While I like the design and how it unfurled itself (I guess...you can say...that plant bloomed...) but I was kinda hoping for a bit more y'know? Who knows maybe there's more to this version that we haven't seen yet

THE PLANT MARKINGS ON VASH 100/10 GOOD SHIT. And Meryl's reaction to it? Perfect now you know why ya boy looks the way he does (like y'all the markings are beautiful please I NEED MORE)

Speaking of Meryl YES BBYGIRL STAND YOUR GROUND, plus thank fuck they talked about Jenora Rock and Tonis losing his arm. Like please let Meryl have her character development so people can see that this girl is ALSO IMPORTANT TO THE STORY

Ok, I think I got everything. I'll edit if I forgot something but I'm looking forward to the next episode! I am scared of which backstory they're gonna use for Vash and Knives and please let it be me TriMax because the 98' anime one was one of the few things I despised.

[stewpid-soup]

vent post bc the world is shit and my life is seriously going downhill so quickly

take care everybody <3

CW: political talk, feelings of hopelessness, a cheating partner, breakup, moving, tiktok shit, chronic pain

trump is seriously gonna be president. again.

i had been hoping, praying to whatever god would actually listen, that something would happen and change this. give the US a little more time. i knew it was unrealistic, unlikely, but i still hoped for it. and now i don’t know what to do, because how the fuck are any of us gonna survive this?

how am i supposed to go outside knowing a convicted felon is the one pulling the strings to strip away my rights? how can i feel safe outside, or inside, when being my truest self could lead to something as extreme as the end of my own life?

i’m 17, and scared shitless to be existing right now. I turn 18 in april and i just feel si hopeless man.

and then the tiktok ban. it was stupid to try and ban it in the first place, but when that one guy tried to get them to at least add an extension i held out hope that maybe we could get a little more time. but then it went through, and it hit me that so much of my information came from there. it’s so hard to keep up with everything going on and i followed so many tiktokers that explained things in digestible ways so i could process it and find out what to do. not to say i didnt do my own research, but seeing tiktokers make five minute videos with documents and legal things to prove their point- just, so much shit that i learned would be lost. And then it gets unbanned, and it feels like it was just a scare tactic to lure us into a false sense of security. And the fact people are thanking trump. HE SUGGESTED BANNING IT IN THE FIRST PLACE!!! He knows what he’s doign and he makes me sick.

and it’s so easy to tell that tiktok has changed. i saw someone use the analogy: “it feels like someone came into your room and took or changed something, but you have no idea what it was.” and just..it applies, but we also kinda know what changed. tiktok was probably bought out by meta. the ads, the algorithm suppressing important information, tiktok giving notifications for people to “check their sources” or something when they try to share a video talking badly about the government or other stuff— what happened to freedom of speech, yk?

and even all of that stuff aside, my own life feels like a mess.

my counselor messed up with my transcript and apparently when i switched midway through a year to online and it took me out of French, they gave me 2.5 credits instead of the full five. But then the counselor was like “well actually, it doesn’t cpunt at all bc we don’t do half credits so we’re lowering you back down to 190 credits.” I get why, but also HUHH???

i did the class! why would you lower the credits and fuck me over so now im doing classes i wasnt prepared for! and its worse bc my counselor told me last year in 11th (or the first semester of 12th i don’t remember) that my transcript was fine! that i was AHEAD! on track to graduate with everything i needed. and now in my second semester, they’re piling two more classes onto what i had been prepared to deal with. yes, four classes is the aaverage that a student will take- but that’s not the schedule i had prepared myself for. i shoulve only had modern lit and psychology B, but now i have to take photography A & B. I know it’s not hard and it could be worse but it’s so fucking frustrating.

i’m in a shit ton of pain, and everyday i just feel more hopeless. i got two weeks off of outpatient physical therapy, occupational therapy, and talk therapy (aka POT- my mom came up with that, i love her)— and yes, i slacked bc of the holidays. but i was also out socializing with family and my (ex)boyfriend! it was different, but i still did shit! i went to the aquarium, and then walked around on fucking beach right afterwards, and then went on the swings by the parking lot for the beach and aquarium! i know that’s just one example, but i’m trying so fucking hard man and it’s hard to try and keep telling myself that “this takes time, they said there’s no timeline but that movement should eventually help decrease the pain” - all it’s done and continued to do is make my pain worse, making it so hard to function and want to do anything. but i still push myself! i still do it! and now i’m here in bed after doing so much today and feeling so utterly hopeless about getting better. it’s been five fucking years of dealing with pain this bad, with the pain only getting worse. i want to feel better, i want to not hurt. i’ve tried so many medications, natural remedies, acupuncture, massages, oils, CBD, ketamine (with doctors permission ofc), and nothing has helped. nothing. it’s so hard to even get out of bed everyday knowing that everything is going to be ten times worse by the end of the day. i try so hard to think positively, to keep a healthy mindset, to tell myself it WILL get better. but it’s so hard to keep that up when everything in my body is just going against that. i want to give up so badly, i want to just stop existing for a bit. to stop hurting. but i have my family, my cats, my snake (i call them my child), my couple close friends. i want to keep trying for them, but it gets so hard. hard in ways i can’t explain. wveb typing right now is so painful, but i need to get all this off my chest.

oh, and then to add to the mix- my boyfriend cheated on me! i’ve dealt with shit in the past, harassment online and (partially) in erson- i’ve explained this to him. he knows that. he said it was okay and he’d take things at my pace. i tried so hard to not let my psst experiences get in the way of our relationship. to not be that person who gets jealous at every little thing. my boyfriend (who is bisexual) had always played around with his friends in a “bromance” kinda way even before we started dating. he always checked with me though, said if i was uncomfortable that he’d stop acting like that or making those jokes. i told him it was okay, that i trusted his judgement on when something went too far. a year and change of dating later, he tells me he had a sleepover with his friends. they were texting people online (men specifically) and “pretending” to be gay— even though my boyfriend is bisexual, but he was just goofing with his friends. i don’t exactly approve of that or think it’s right to fish like that online, but it happened and i didnt know abt it until after. but he texted me and said (paraphrasing from memory)“hey, yk how we’ve talked abt getting sugar daddies before? well i met this guy with my friends who says he’d pay money to talk and hang around us- he lives in london (i think) and he’s actually a bit younger than me. i’m just messing around with my friends but i find this guy actually interesting. would it be okay if i kept chatting with him as a friend? ofc u can say no, and if ur uncomfortable then i’ll stop right away.” and i said “no, i trust ur judgement- ik u know when something has crossed a line. just be careful bc this guy could (obviously) be some rlly old creepo or whatever” fastforward a few days and i havenrly heard from my boyfriend. happens sometimes, he gets busy with school and i get busy. we always send each other reels and text on and off, but he’s never seemed to mind it. we text when we can, yk? i do online school and he does in person. finding time can be challenging. but he texts me and says “hey, i need to talk to u abt something. can we hang out soon?” — not an uncommon occurrence. usually when he says something like that he needs to talk abt something that happened at school or with his friends or with his family just to get it off his chest. i always listen and support however i can, i try my best- i can’t solve every problem but i’ve always, always offered to listen. i told him “okay, we’ll hangout sunday at my place”

on sunday, the hangout was normal. we chilled at first. my parents were upstairs in bed, my sister was at work (i think), and my brother was gaming upstairs on the PC. so, as it usually ended up, it was me and my boyfriend on the couch in the living room cuddling. we just watched reels for a while yntil i turned off my phone and said “okay, what did u wanna talk abt?”

me and him have never really argued badly. i like to think we did a decent job at communicating with each other. not perfect, but decent. we have disagreements, discussions, but never arguments. me and him dated back in 7th grade, both very immature and not ready for a relationship— things happened and then he rekindled our friendship during quarantine and once i had ended things with my boyfriend at the time and he eventually ended things with his girlfriend at the time (who cheated on him, i believe? i cang remember)— we ended up dating. it just happened, and i was so happy.

so tell me why my boyfriend sits on my living room couch, hiding his face in my lap and saying that he’s confused about his feelings with the guy he’d been chatting with. he says that he’d been talking with him since the sleepover, that he might like him but wasn’t sure. that some of it felt fake and some of it felt real.

me nor my boyfriend have been in a same-sex relationship before, despite being interested in people of any gender identity— never seemed to be a problem, we talked abt pretty ppl abd characters and everything was fine.

i was calm, i listened and when he was finished i said “okay. i’m not sure how to feel about this. would it be okay if i read the messages between you guys?” he said okay and gave me his phone. i scrolled to the top of his messages with this guy, since the sleepover he had. i read all the way to their most recent text, two days before my boyfriend went to my house to see me. i was really..hurt. i was crying, but i was quiet. i read the messages between them. so much of it reminded me of how he was when he messaged with me, of how he was when he’d tiptoe around his feelings when we were first crushing on each other. he sent this guy a picture of himself in a cute shirt he liked, a crop— with the intention of it being something for the other guy to look at in a romantic manner. nothing explicit, as far as i recall, but still suggestive. i asked him what he wanted to do. i asked if he wanted time to figure himself our. if he needed space. i asked if he really liked this guy. i told him that if he did, that we should end things; because i love him, and i want him to be happy. and if that’s not with me, then that’s okay. i just needed him to be honest. even if it hurt. he said he wasn’t sure. i wasn’t angry, i told him as much, i was hurt and disappointed. i wasn’t sure what to do. i asked if he wanted to go home. he said “what do you want” i told him “im asking u because i don’t really mind either way. i’m personally partial to u staying bc even though this is rlly shitty, i missed you. i want to be around you.” he stayed until my sister came home and drove him home. the whole time i acted like notbing was wrong, made jokes about it, cuddled him. i got into the front seat as i always did after dropping him off (bc i sit in the backseat with him to be close to him). i sat down for a bit. my sister asked if i was okay and i couldn’t even rlly respond. she asked again and i said no. i started crying. we had planned to pick up boba for dessert. she parked in the parking lot of the little corner area where there’s shops and then a Tea&Me. i told her everything. she thought at first i meant he was talking to someone at school, said she wasn’t justifying it but me and him didn’t talk much— didn’t see each other much. i said “but this guy lives in london! he met him online!” and she was just like “….i know it’s bad timing and ur upset, but my sister urges make me want to go punch him- ik all of his addresses.” after talking with her it helped, a little. was the first time where i was like “..man, maybe this IS cheating.” the bext day was a blur. i did nothing but sit on my phone, shut everything out. The next day I told my parents individually on separate car drives to get some stuff. Both supportive of me, they’re truly amazing and im blessed to have such understanding parents. but after speaking with both of them, each time it finally really hit me that “wow. this man i put so much trust in, so much faith and love, cheated on me. he CHOSE to do that. chose to text him every day until two days before he would see me. Texted him that night, nothing the next day, and then nothing the day he saw me. I texted him a paragraph after talking with my parents and sister that i needed time to think and make a decision. that i was hurt and that it’s finally hit me that he rlly cheated. i talked to my sister 7 days after i saw him in person. talked a lot again when she asked if anything happened. i asked what she would do if she were in my shoes, and she made some good points. i talked to my therapist 8 days after i saw him in person. Told her about what happened, all my taljs with my family and the talk i had with my sister the day before. She advised me the best she couod. throughout these eight days, he hadn’t texted me at all. i know i said i needed space, but he didn’t even check in. i texted him when the fires started in LA, said i hoped ge was okay. no response. texted him again maybe two days after? no response again. my sister said “why dont you text his mom” so i did, bc i was concerned abt him and his family. (reached word limit)

[channoticedmeuwu]

should I make ramen or no

[soupy-girl]

Everything about Sarah's performance of Barbie Girl was simply immaculate. Courtney and Kimmy being backup dancers and singers, Damien slowly going insane, Sarah's vocals, THE CAMERAWORK. ALL GREAT. Anyway, it was the most underrated song (at least from what I've see, there's some stream left still).

[phantomposting]

A Wish is Worth a Thousand Words AU Prompt

Tw: injury and brief mention of dissection

---------------------------------------------------------

This is another late night 4am au prompt rant so please excuse any typos or improper grammar cause my brain is so very soupy but I've had this concept in my head for months and thought I should share

In this au Danny and Dick are brothers separated at a young age most likely due to the Graysons just being unable to take care of another child at the time so Danny ends up being put up for adoption. Dick is the older brother but was young enough when Danny was born that he had no memory of ever having s brother.

Eventually Danny is brought onto Dick's radar while he's still a Robin. Maybe some incident occurs where Bruce wants to look into the Fentons or something which leads to the discovery and Dick is absolutely devastated that he never got to know his brother. So he does the only rational thing. He books it to Amity Park and slowly tries to work up the courage to tell Danny that he's his brother. With his research and steak out he discovers how terribly unsafe the Fenton's home is and wishes he and his brother were never separated lucky for him and not so lucky for everyone else a certain ghost genie hears this wish and grants it.

Now that they've never been separated Danny is one of vigilante's of Gotham by his brother's side. He and Bruce are really close due to processing the trauma of their parent's deaths in similar ways and life seems happy for them.

However Clockwork is scrambling. Without Danny becoming Phantom the timeline is doomed. So he has to get to work remedying the situation Desiree caused. Clockwork manages to rescue the Sam and Tucker from the previous timeline before they are completely erased and strikes a deal with them. Assist him in getting Danny to become Phantom and they get to stay in this timeline and live out their lives in peace instead of getting destroyed.

Sam thinks the task is simple enough find Danny, work up trust, tell him the situation and he's sure to help. But they stumble across a problem. Danny is doing well timeline. He's happy and healthy and loved without constant threat of dissection or getting attacked by those who should be protecting him. Sam doesn't have the heart to ruin that for him. Tucker on the other hand would feel bad but also it's for the greater good right? So they spend their time planning and learning things about this Danny. They pose as students in his school and become his friends. They also befriend Dick aswell. Slowly but surely they devise a plan to tell him but it actually never happens. Danny is injured in a fight one night and Clockwork uses this to his advantage taking the kid with amnesia and dumping him in Illinois. Sam is pissed but clockwork says its for the best and doesn't give her a chance to argue.

So Sam and Tucker continue their lives in Gotham. Meanwhile this timeline's Sam and Tucker befriend Danny in Amity and Danny becomes Phantom.

In Gotham Dick is left absolutely devastated. He won't rest until he finds his baby brother and brings him home safe and sound. But more and more time is passing and things are seeming less and less hopeful. Eventually tho Dick discovers an article about Phantom and what does he see? Sam and Tucker with this ghost that looks like his missing brother. But how? Sam and Tucker are here in Gotham with him. How are they in Illinois? Only one way to find out he goes to Illinois.

In Illinois he bumps into them and casually talks with them and they have no memory of him, but they definitely are Sam and Tucker. Things are getting weird and not adding up but then bam ghost attack! Eventually this leads to Robin finding Phantom injured in an alleyway and they talk. Robin helps Phantom by patching him up and tries to figure out if this is Danny which it clearly is!

The rest of this fic would probably be brothers getting to know eachother again, confrontations with Clockwork and Sam and Tucker and learning to accept what had occurred and manage time along with reconnecting with Bruce aswell. All in all lots of room for angst and found family stuff :D

[and-there-were-words]

A Spider Life: Foundation Stones (Chapter 04)

First if all, huge thanks to @firekitten830 and her amazing annons for so many tasty HCs that inspired me to take the pen into hands to begin with. I’m still feeling the writing juices strongly, so expect more chapters during this week. Also headcanon heavy chapter ahead!

---

Taking place during “Dumpling Destruction”, the rest of the Spider Gang blissfully unaware of a potential soupy doom.

Goliath understood that sometimes, certain tasks could not be solved with brute strength but instead required more finesse and stealth. Now that Huntsman was out on a mission, someone else seemed to grow a little more comfortable to be social. (Wordcount: around 1290)

---

Ever since the disaster that had been the New Year’s festival, the strong spider had not left the tunnels of the Silk Web Cave. Mostly because he didn’t need to, but it wasn’t like he really cared to do otherwise either. It was great to be back home, and there was always something to do. He didn’t understood much of modern technology, he couldn’t be of help in that regard – still feeling so out of touch since he had woken up. So instead, Goliath made it his own little side project to repair and rebuild the old walls. There was a sense worry why the place looked so jagged and crumbled, but he felt like he would open an entire can of worms if he was to ask his Queen about it. Maybe another time when she felt like she could relax again.

Heaving rock after rock, pushing away boulders and slowly but surely the foundation stones became visible. Warmth filled his chest when fond memories came flooding back. The small palace they had created here, the few buildings they made as their base of operations – times when things had been more simple. When the Queen was able to just lose herself in her weaving, creating one masterpiece after another. When Huntsman wasn’t as overzealous to find the next adrenalin kick. Things had been so tense ever since… that day, Goliath feels, before they had to hibernate and left their safety in the Spider Queen’s hands. Basically leaving her all by herself for how knows long.

Something in the air shifted ever so slightly, so putting his own somber thoughts to the side, Goliath turned his head to find the source of it. The smaller man was watching him rather intensely, not saying anything as he just stood there with hands in pockets. He did call himself Syntax, right? The newest addition to the team, even though he didn’t knew how the scientist had joined prior. Their Queen didn’t mention it at all, this was just how things were now, and they had to simply accept that fact.

Huntsman had still been furious. After the first night, the hunter had pulled him aside and started his angry rant. In all honesty, Goliath had kind of zoned out after a minute and just let his buddy vent his frustration. He himself didn’t see any problem with this. Sure, maybe Syntax didn’t look quite right, maybe he was smelling like a human. But the more the merrier, right? The Queen had been rather picky of whom she wanted within her clan, so each new face was a joy. And it only meant that Syntax must bring astounding abilities to the table to have her favor.

Only now did Goliath notice that they still stared at each other in complete silence. The scientist hadn’t even coughed as much as a word, as if he was waiting for something. Goliath blinked a little bit before offering a small smile. “Can I help you, buddy?”

That got a twitch out of the other man, now looking ever so slightly flustered. Whatever Syntax had been waiting for, this clearly hadn’t been what he expected. He looked around, seemingly a little nervous, obviously trying to buy himself some time to mull over words. “What are you doing here?” A simple question, there was no bite behind it. Just curiosity.

“I am trying to repair the old palace. Wanna help?”, Goliath offered, stepping ever so slightly to the side, so the other had a better view on the foundation stones he had been uncovering. The scientist gave a little snort, tilting the head with a toothy grin. “Doubt I can lift any of that.”

Ah. Right, there was that. It already escaped Goliath’s mind that the man seemed to be lacking the physical strength or the skill in web manipulation. He thought about it without really thinking about it, if that makes sense, only to simply shrug. “That’s alright. I don’t mind if you just want to hang out either.”

That brought another flinch out of Syntax, as if he had been hit against the shoulder a little too strong. Now radiating a slight air of unease. Goliath raised a brow at how jumpy the other was. However to his satisfaction, the scientist moved closer, settling down on one of the smaller rocks. With that settled, the strong spider returned to his self given task. The only noises now filling this part of the cave, were his own grunts and heavy breathes, as he moved rubble to clear the place.

“Why aren’t you using any of your web? I know you’re capable of making them.”, it took Goliath a second to register that Syntax was talking to him again. Deciding this was a good moment to take a break anyways, the strong spider sat down, leaning against the cave wall. It was good that the scientist finally had found the courage to ask some questions he clearly had on his tongue for a while. Goliath had noticed ever since they met up in the city streets, but it wasn’t uncommon that everyone always seemed to forget how perceptive he was in the end.

A small smile appeared on his lips as he spun a few strings of silk between his fingers. Creating a little funnel. “My webbing is too thin to be used for such tasks. Is just something that’s in the family, you know?”, he pulled his fingers further apart, at some point the silk simply tearing. “Ain’t enough to weave clothing either, but that’s more of a me problem, I guess.”

Syntax had his brows raised at this revelation, first trying to find any sign that Goliath was simply messing with him, before looking back at the torn threads. It was endearing to watch how the gears in the scientist’s head were turning, trying to connect knowledge he had gathered by just watching before. He was almost hesitant to voice his next question, as if fearing that he was overstepping boundaries. “But Huntsman’s… you two are not related?”

He couldn’t help himself but burst out in a short laugh. Syntax's nervous twitching signaled him not to laugh for much longer. “Oh hell nah. Huntsman is from a complete different family, as is the Queen. What do people call it? Found family? It doesn’t matter where we are from, it’s the trust that makes our bonds strong.”, Goliath explained without a second thought. At that, the scientist seemed to deflate, almost curl up on himself. Ah, that had been a little tactless… considering how everything was standing between Syntax and Huntsman, this was obviously a bit of a sore spot. And a way more complex problem that needed careful entangling. For another day though.

Goliath scooched a little closer towards the small man. Raising some new strands of silk, offering them to Syntax. “Wanna try it yourself?” For a moment, he feared that the scientist wouldn’t move at all, or worse, just leave. But eventually, small hands picked up on the threads carefully, looking a little lost of what to do next. Goliath leaned in, giving him instructions on how to create a small woven square, while providing material if needed. Syntax almost seemed to beam at the simple creation, though he was quickly hiding it behind his more professional mask again.

“If you have any more questions about the stuff, feel free to ask.”, Goliath hummed, pleased when Syntax slowly nodded, mumbling a low: “I will… prepare a list.” It wasn’t much for now, but the strong spider still felt good that new foundation stones had been layed. Maybe it wasn’t too bad that they all had to rebuild their lives in some way or another.

[heyitssmiller]

Chop It Like It’s Hot

Chapter 2: Goodness Gracious, Great Balls of Fire

@lumosinlove Thank you for your lovely characters! This has been so fun to write. :)

Hope you guys enjoy!

Chop It Like It’s Hot Masterlist

Leo took one look one look at his co-star slumped at a table in the break room and changed his trajection to include a stop at the coffee machine. “Morning, Dorcas.”

“You’re not allowed to talk right now.”

He laughed under his breath, pressing the espresso button and opening the fridge to look for any non-expired milk products. “Talking is a big part of our job, you know.”

“Does it look like I’m on the clock right now?”

Leo hummed noncommittally, stirring some whole milk into the coffee before sliding it across the table to Dorcas. “Rough night?”

She grabbed the mug and took a tentative sip. Her shoulders relaxed fractionally and she let out a relieved sigh. “I forgot that you actually know how to make office coffee taste good.”

“I’m offended that you doubted me.” Leo took the empty seat next to her. “Now what happened?”

Dorcas looked down at her hands wrapped tightly around her mug, expression carefully neutral. “I broke up with her.” She laughed humorlessly. “I knew it wasn’t working for a while now, so I don’t understand why I’m so upset about it. Our schedules never lined up and we never really saw each other anymore. So I figured it was best to do it now instead of dragging it out.”

Leo knew she wasn’t one for physical affection, so he just sat by her side. “Still hurts, though. She was a big part of your life for a while now; it’s ok to be upset about it, no matter what the circumstances of the breakup are.”

“Yeah.”

“You’re going to be ok. Might not feel like it right now, but you’re as tough as they come.”

“Relationships are shit.”

“Breakups are shit.” Leo corrected gently.

“You know, sometimes people just want to feel like shit for a while. You don’t have to try and fix everything all the time.” She said, but her voice was teasing instead of accusatory. “How are you not emotionally exhausted all the time?”

“A lifetime of practice and sheer force of will.”

Dorcas laughed and shoved him away. “You suck.”

“If you want someone to just rant to, I can definitely make room for that tonight. You can experiment with your cocktail recipes, then get unbelievably drunk off them and trash talk all night.”

“You just want free drinks.”

“Consider it payment for the coffee and pep talk.” He said, rising to his feet. “Come on, we should get to the studio.”

She smiled and followed Leo out the door. “If there’s one thing guaranteed to cheer me up, it’s watching other people fail spectacularly at cooking.”

Dorcas got the cue from the director and started their cooking segment. “Recruits, today I’ll be showing you how to make perfectly-done mashed potatoes, and chef Leo will be teaching you how to make bone-in ribeye. Make sure you’re taking notes – you can use those when you attempt to recreate this dish later today.” There was a frantic flurry of movement as everyone took their notepads out and tried to find their pens.

“All right,” Leo grabbed a large slab of ribeye from the ingredients counter with both hands and heaved it onto the front table. Several recruits flinched back while others looked sick at the sight of their meat actually resembling the animal it came from. He bit back a smile and picked up a butcher’s knife.

God, he loved this job.

“So we’re just going to cut these and then you’re going to take a towel and just basically tear this portion of the meat off in one big piece. You see that? Then we’re going to add oil to a hot pan and drop the steak in.” The sizzling sound of the Maillard reaction filled the room. “We’re going to be basting this with thyme and half a stick of butter once the meat is cooked.”

A frantic whisper of “What the hell is basting?” rose up as Dorcas took over the lead, starting by bringing water to a boil and then waiting for it to reduce to a simmer. Leo watched as several of the recruits’ eyes glazed over, completely lost as Dorcas peeled potatoes in quick, practiced movements.

Leo recognized Logan’s voice as it carried from his spot in the crowd. “Do they have a medic on this show?”

“I hope so.” Finn murmured back.

“Our steak is done now. See the color on that?” Leo grabbed the steak with a pair of tongs and held it up for the recruits to see. “Now for our sauce. Have you guys ever flambéed anything before?”

“Lo, is that French?”

Logan’s microphone just barely picked up his little chuckle. “Yes.”

“Its literal translation means ‘flamed.’” Leo supplied, watching fear develop on their faces and trying his hardest not to laugh, biting his lower lip in the process.

This was only going to end badly, in a glorious blaze of fire.

“We’ve never had a disaster happen on the show flambéing something. Let’s try to keep it that way.” He grabbed the bottle of cognac at his station. “I’m going to take all of this cognac, add it to our pan with the sauce, and light it.”

He grabbed a lighter, flicked it on, and lightly touched it to the surface of the alcohol. Pink-red flames sprung from the pan, causing several of the recruits to shout and step back in alarm. “We’re just going to let it sit and burn off that alcohol.”

Dorcas grabbed her pan and added shallots to it. “I’m going to start getting my shallots sautéed, and –“

“Shallots?” A recruit asked, confusion etched on her face.

“Yes.”

“What are those?”

Dorcas turned and grabbed a shallot from the counter behind her. “This is a shallot.”

“Oh, so an onion.”

“No.” Dorcas said plainly, grabbing a hand mixer to blend her potatoes, butter, and cream. “Once the shallots are cooked, I add them to the potatoes and mix it all together. Then all you have to do is plate all this and you’re done.”

Leo grabbed his saucepan and spooned some out. “Don’t forget to add your sauce on top of the ribeye.”

“Now it’s your job to recreate this dish on your own. You have an hour to complete this challenge. And your time starts… now!”

Chaos ensued. Knives were waved around haphazardly, chopping skills were slim to none. One recruit was still trying to turn the stove on, while another had grabbed a pan that definitely wasn’t going to be big enough for a ribeye steak.

Leo shot Dorcas a horrified look. “Did we go too fast? I thought we explained everything pretty well, but now I’m not sure.”

“That’s just the way of this show.” Dorcas said with a shrug. “We need to see what level they’re on and what their strengths and weaknesses are before we can really start teaching. It gets better when we’re allowed to get out there and help them.”

Finn and Logan had cut off their own ribeyes first and were headed back to their stations. “Oh god I don’t remember anything they showed us.” Finn stressed, putting his ribeye directly onto the pan without any oil.

Logan looked down at his thyme and butter, seemingly at a loss. “Just look at your notes.”

“I can’t read it. You know I have terrible handwriting. Look,” he flipped his notepad around to show Logan. “That’s all I wrote down.”

“Does that say goat?” Logan asked, not bothering to strip the leaves of thyme off the stems and just throwing the entire sprig of herb into his pan.

Finn turned it back around squinted. “Maybe?”

“I like your smiley faces, though.” Logan said, pressing a quick kiss to Finn’s cheek. The redhead smiled broadly.

“Thanks, baby.”

Dorcas hummed by Leo’s side. “I forgot they’re together.”

“Yeah,” Leo absentmindedly fiddled with the bracelet around his wrist. “Must be hard. Hockey’s not known for being accepting.” He tried not to think too much about his memories of locker rooms, judgmental eyes, and the slurs of his own teammates from years ago.

A shout from one of the recruits snapped him back to attention. The recruit was halfway across the room from her on-fire sauce and refusing to go back to her station. Leo sighed. “Flambéing was a horrible first lesson.”

“Maybe. But it sure is entertaining.” Dorcas raised her voice to be heard by the contestants. “Don’t leave pans on a stove unattended, please!”

“Let it rain!” Finn shouted, throwing salt into his pot of cooking potatoes. Dorcas cackled joyously as she watched.

“How much salt are you going to put in there?” Leo called, eyes wide.

Finn repeated, “Let it rain!” as if it were an actual answer.

“I think he just put a cup of salt in those potatoes.”

Dorcas was wheezing now, hunched over as she laughed.

“Laugh now, but we’re the ones who have to taste that.”

She instantly stopped laughing. “Oh shit.”

“We’re definitely going to need those drinks tonight.”

***

Logan’s dish was up first. Leo looked down at his steak and fished out a thyme stem, holding it up for him to see. “When you’re working with thyme, you really need to just use the leaves. When the stems are cooked they get really tough and can be like swallowing fish bones when they’re like this.” He cut into the ribeye and took a bite. “But your steak tastes really good. It’s perfectly cooked and not too dry.”

Logan flashed them a blinding smile (that might have left Leo a little speechless, but he wasn’t planning on admitting that anytime soon).

“The potatoes have a good consistency, too.” Dorcas added when Leo didn’t say anything else. “Good job, Logan.”

After several raw steaks, burned steaks, and soupy mashed potatoes were tasted, the dish both of the chefs were dreading the most appeared in front of them.

Finn’s potatoes.

Dorcas looked to Leo, then met Finn’s eyes. “Now, I haven’t come across many things I’m genuinely afraid to eat. But these potatoes…”

Finn laughed good-naturedly. “Yikes.”

Leo’s eyes bulged as he tried the potatoes. “I think I’m dehydrated now.”

“I think I have a water bottle somewhere, if you want it.”

“I’m tempted to take you up on that.” Dorcas said, voice strained. “In the future, go light on the salt.”

In the end, they had to eliminate the contestant who gave them burned steak and didn’t serve mashed potatoes at all. The directors called cut shortly after that and people visibly relaxed, chatting with friends while the cleaning crew came through and started dealing with the mess. Leo felt like he should probably help with that; there sure was a lot to clean. The crew would be here until midnight at this rate. So he grabbed a disinfectant spray and a rag, turning to start wiping things down and almost running right into Logan as he did so.

“Hey, chef!” Finn said from his spot next to the brunet. “Have your taste buds recovered yet?”

He laughed with a shrug. “I have a feeling they’ll be messed up from now until a month after this show ends. That might be for the best, anyways.”

“Why in the hell did you sign up for this?” Logan asked, head tilted in confusion. “You’re forced to eat awful food and watch a bunch of amateurs destroy this kitchen. Seems more stressful than anything.”

“I mean, watching you wave around that knife today just about gave me a heart attack-“ Finn interrupted him with a loud burst of laughter, causing Leo to smile as he continued, “But it’s fun teaching y’all. It’s a good change of pace. Doing just competitions gets old after a while.”

“Yeah, especially if you win all of them.”

Leo felt his cheeks heat up. “Not all of them.”

“Most of them, then.” Logan amended. “Don’t sell yourself short; you’re really good.”

“So are you guys.” Leo stammered a little, trying to think of the right words. “I – I just wanted to say it’s really cool that you’re both raising so much awareness for the need for diversity in hockey. It’s going to make a world of difference to a lot of people.”

I wish I’d had someone like the two of you to look up to when I was growing up.

He played with his bracelet again. It wasn’t a secret that he was gay – he’d talked about it a few times on various shows and competitions he’d participated in. That was one of the best things about the cooking industry. It didn’t matter who you were or what your secrets were; as long as you were a good cook, most people didn’t really care. Leo had realized at a young age that, no matter what he ended up doing with his life, he wasn’t going to hide any part of himself. He’d done that dance before, and he didn’t care to relive it any time soon.

Finn smiled, throwing an arm around Logan’s shoulders. “Well, thanks. It hasn’t always been the easiest, but we’re happy.”

Leo resolutely ignored the strange pang in his chest at those words. It wasn’t fair of him to be jealous. “I’m glad.” He glanced around and noticed the progress the crew had made. “I should probably go. We’ve still got a lot to do before we head out.”

“Do you guys need any help?”

Leo couldn’t help but laugh a little at that. “Seeing that you made most of this mess, maybe we should have you clean up,” he teased Finn, who pouted. “But no, we’re fine. Thanks for the offer, though. Y’all have a good night.”

“You too!” Logan called over his shoulder. He leaned over to whisper something to Finn, who threw his head back and laughed.

Leo turned away and started wiping down the nearest counter.

***

Post-Episode Interview

Leo: *gives the camera a pained look* Is cooking really this hard for people? I want to get out there and help them so badly, but I can’t. We’re supposed to just observe for this challenge.

The video switches from Leo talking to footage from the earlier challenge: Leo grimacing and taking an aborted step towards a recruit getting his face way too close to the fire. Leo looking on in horror as another recruit wields a knife incorrectly and nearly loses a finger. Dorcas laughing as a recruit tries to grab her potatoes out of a pot of hot water with her bare hands while Leo reaches out and grabs onto the edge of the table with a white-knuckled grip. “Oh god, this isn’t safe at all.” Dorcas ruffles his hair, standing on her tiptoes to do so. “Poor rookie. You get used to it.”

*Back to Leo in the interview room, pinching the bridge of his nose*

Leo: My hair will be completely gray by the end of this show.

[the-writer-nerd-ro]

Part 1 of my HDL birthday fic. The other part will be out in the next few days

Birthday Plans

D: Any fun plans for today?

It was seven in the morning and Dewey was sitting in the cockpit of the Sunchaser on his birthday. Della was bringing coffee but Dewey was still a little tired. There was a different kind of tiredness that had settled in his bones as he thought about spending his birthday away from his brothers. He didn’t expect either of them to be awake but he thought he would shoot them a text before he started flying.

H: I wish. I have a bunch of tests tomorrow so I have to study all day today. But tomorrow after my tests, my friends and I are going out for belated birthday drinks.

D: Tell the bartender it’s your birthday and get free belated birthday drinks

H: I’m not going to lie, it’s against the JWG

D: You’re 24. You’re not a Junior Woodchuck anymore.

H: You’re right.

H: I’m a Senior Woodchuck.

L: Do you guys ever sleep???

D: It’s 7 AM

L: Yeah, it’s 7 AM, you should be asleep

D: What are your plans today, Lou?

L: Boyd is visiting after I get off work and we’re going to spend the rest of the day together

H: Aww, adorable.

D: Sappy

L: Anyway, what are you doing today, Dewdrop?

D: Doing a flight with mom and then cake with some of the fam later

H: Have fun, eat a slice of cake for me.

D: Will do

L: Your present should be in the mail. Yours too, Hue.

D: You didn’t have to get me anything

L: Yeah, but I feel bad that we can’t be together today. It feels weird.

D: It does feel weird

H: I miss you guys

Dewey set down his phone, blinking back tears. He hadn’t wanted to get emotional this morning but he was having a hard time holding it together if Huey was throwing around, “I miss you,” and Louie was commenting on how weird things were.

To avoid addressing his emotions Dewey found a gif of a dancing baby that said happy birthday. That was enough to start a gif chain that moved them away from heavy emotions.

“You okay, sweetheart?” Della asked, offering her son a cup of coffee, and taking in his bummed-out expression.

“Yeah, just texting Huey and Louie.”

Della nodded somberly, “It’s hard being apart from them, isn’t it?”

Dewey was trying his hardest not to get choked up.

“I shouldn’t be so dramatic. They’re just a few hours away, and we’re meeting up in a couple of weeks after Huey’s done with finals.”

“But today’s your birthday. It’s okay if you miss them extra hard today. Your feelings are valid.”

“It’s our first birthday apart,” Dewey whispered.

“I know how hard that can be,” Dell said, wrapping an arm around his shoulders.

“Mom? Does it get easier?”

“A little. But the time apart makes the time together so much better. And you get to do one barrel roll in the Sunchaser on your birthday.”

“I should get to do 24 barrel rolls because it’s my 24th birthday.”

“Don’t push it, buddy.”

Huey had a coffee and an English muffin (toasted, lightly buttered) and was one flashcard away from a breakdown. He was exhausted, which was not the way you wanted to spend your 24th Birthday.

Everything was always happening all at once. Huey probably wouldn’t have remembered it was his birthday until Dewey had texted him earlier. He’d fussed about lying to an imaginary bartender but had had no qualms lying to his brothers. There were no friends taking him out for belated birthday drinks. No one here knew him intimately enough to know his birthday.

Texts would roll in all day from the family and friends who he desperately missed, wishing him a pleasant day and asking him about his fabricated plans. He was almost in tears every time he furthered this delusion that he had people here, that he was not just a loser alone on his birthday. How pathetic would that be? When Dewey was with their family and Louie was with his boyfriend. Huey’s chest ached about the fact he was the only one alone.

Fenton was the only one who called him out on his lie.

F: What’re you doing for your birthday, Huey?

H: I have to study today but I’m getting drinks with some friends tomorrow.

F: Oh, nice.

F: So you finally made some friends over there?

Huey wished that he hadn’t ranted to his mentor about how incredibly difficult it was to find time to make friends.

H: ...No

F: So who are you drinking with?

H: Nobody

F: Drinking alone, then? Maybe call a car to get home.

H: I’m not drinking alone

F: So you just lied to me?

H: Not just you?

Fenton stopped responding for a few minutes and Huey felt devastated. He hadn’t wanted to lie to his loved ones but he hadn’t wanted them to pity him either. And now he had to deal with guilt on top of all the exhaustion.

F: So you’re all alone on your birthday?

H: I guess I am

F: I see why you wouldn’t want to talk about that

F: But you didn’t need to lie

H: It’s too late now, I already told everyone that I’d be drinking with friends tomorrow.

F: Well, I don’t have any plans tomorrow. Team Science reunion?

H: Team Science reunion

Huey felt a bit better about his birthday, grateful that Fenton had reached out. He still missed his brothers though. He decided to text them both one more time today before he went back to studying, though he decided to text them separately this time.

H: Have a safe flight, Dewey.

D: Thanks, bro. Good luck studying

H: Thanks

He decided to text Louie later since he’d been tired and he wasn’t fun to talk to when he was tired. And then, swamped with studying, he promptly forgot until dinner.

H: Hey! I hope you had a good day at work and that you and Boyd have fun today. A responsible amount of fun.

L: Lol I’ll tell Boyd that the arson is canceled

H: No arson, but you could still probably make S’mores. Boyd’s really good at that.

L: I get it, you’re both Senior Woodchucks. Hey, do something nice for yourself today, okay? Don’t just study yourself to death.

H: ...Okay. Thanks, Lou

“Who’re you texting?” Boyd asked, already making himself comfortable on Louie’s couch.

“Huey. He told us to have fun. And to not commit arson.”

“I wasn’t gonna commit arson on purpose, were you going to commit arson?”

“Well, it’s my birthday, and you did bring cupcakes and candles.”

“Mm, those are more fun if you blow them out instead of letting them burn. How’s Huey doing anyway? Fenton just texted me about him.”

“I’m afraid he’s overworking himself,” Louie admitted, “But that’s just Huey’s nature. I'm not especially surprised.”

"That's the vibe I got too. Fenton asked me if I wanted to go get drinks with him and Huey tomorrow so that he doesn't have to be alone."

“Whoa,” Louie said, eyes widening.

“What?”

“Huey must’ve lied about having plans with his school friends tomorrow.”

“Aw. Well, you would’ve done the same thing. Huey probably just didn’t want you guys to worry. A classic Louie move.”

Louie frowned deeply.

"Hey, babe, do you ever get the sense you're doing the wrong thing?"

"Elaborate?"

"Well, I took this internship, to you know, pull myself up by my bootstraps. Be my own person."

"I'm really proud of you for that."

"Yeah, well… Being my own person sucks. I've always been one in a set of three. And it feels like recently someone ripped the "Do not separate" sticker off and I hate it."

"Hm… Do you want to come and get drinks with me tomorrow?"

"Getting wasted won't help. I've tried and alcohol doesn't fill that hole."

"I know, I've carried you home before. But I mean do you want to go get drinks with me and your brother? We could surprise Huey."

"Hey… That's not such a bad idea. I need to make a call."

“I’ll light your cupcakes on fire,” Boyd said cheerfully.

“No fair, starting the arson without me,” Louie laughed, as he pulled up the texts from the morning and tapping on Dewey’s number.

“Oh, hey! Hey, Louie, hold on, guys Louie’s on the phone, we gotta sing again!”

Louie laughed, cringing a little in anticipation of the awkwardness as his family began a staticky and muffled rendition of Happy Birthday.

“Thanks, guys, means a lot to me. Dewey, can I talk to you for a moment?”

“Sure, sure, let me just step outside,” A moment later Dewey’s voice came back, “What’s up?”

“Are you busy tomorrow?”

“Uh, not sure, why?”

“Well, it seems like Hubert lied about his birthday plans. Apparently, there were never any friends he was gonna go drinking with, so Fenton decided to drop by and he wanted to bring Boyd and Boyd thought it was a good idea if I tagged along. So what if we surprise Huey? He’s been working really hard at med school- hell, we’ve all been working really hard. What do you say?”

Dewey was silent for a minute and then Louie heard a laugh (Or was it a sob?) on the other end.

“Man, I’ve missed you guys so much. I’d love to do that. Let’s set something up, mm-kay?”

“Yeah. Boyd! Text Fenton and tell him that me and Dewey are gonna come surprise Huey, we’ll figure it out from there.”

“Okee dokee,” Boyd said cheerfully, putting an alarming amount of candles (probably 24) in one cupcake.

“I have to go, Dewey, I’m afraid that Boyd is about to set my apartment on fire without me, but I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“See you tomorrow! Enjoy your fire hazard and your boyfriend.”

“Those are the same thing, Dewey.”

“Then enjoy your fire boyfriend. Boyfire? I dunno.”

“He is pretty fire, isn’t he? Bye, Dewey.”

“Bye!”

“Boyd if you light that you’ll coat that cupcake in so much wax it’ll be disgusting and that’s just a waste of a good cupcake.”

“Then I’ll eat that one. I’m an android I’m not as picky about what is and isn’t cupcake.”

“Sometimes, fortunately not often but sometimes, you remind me so much of Dewey that it’s terrifying.”

“Do you still love me?” Boyd asked, squinting a little and laser lighting the candles. As Louie had assumed it quickly became a soupy, fiery mess.

“More than words can express,” Louie said, capturing Boyd’s lips in a kiss after extinguishing the cupcake.

“Did you make a wish, baby?” Boyd asked, holding Louie close by the hips.

“I don’t need to, everything is going to be okay. In fact, I think that everything is going to be… Perfect.”

“Happy Birthday…”