#maybe i’ll add my version of recipe if anyone wants

[placebo-ambrosia]

i’m actually not a terrible cook just made some banging chickpea soup(ish) new faaaaav

[beginningobserver]

Heyyo everyone. I wrote a new Rui-centered thing.

⚠SPOILERS FROM THE MOVIE AHEAD ⚠

Bonds

[AO3 version]

Summary:

Rui is invited to try Daisuke's new ramen recipe with the rest of the group.

Rui + 02 kids • Canon-compliant (KenMiya/Kenyako included) • Post-movie events.

----------------//-----------------

A few months after meeting Daisuke and the others, Rui started to visit them a little more while he waited for Ukkomon’s egg to hatch. He was patient and optimistic that everything would be fine now.

He was invited by Daisuke to eat his newest ramen-creation with the other five. But would they still want to tag along with him? Rui had no idea what true friendship was, because he believed every friend he made after meeting Ukkomon were just manipulated by the digimon like his parents had been.

It could mean that this group he just met would be his first and legitimate friends. Right?

He stood in front of the Ramen Yamatoya building, his hands shaking out of anxiety. He thought -- Should I get in? We were just strangers and I don’t come here too much to not… Bug him--

The door opened from inside and it was by V-mon.

“HEYYOO RUI!”

“A-ah… Hello.”

“Wow, you came really fast!!” the blue digimon exclaimed, and looked outside to see if anyone else was coming, “Really fast!”

“I… I was around, my workplace is in this area.”

“Oho! What do you do for life!?”

“... I work at--”

“THERE YOU ARE!!” Daisuke pooped out from the door, “HEY-WELCOME! GET IN, GET IN!!”

He was interrupted by Daisuke’s energetic voice. And dragged inside. He didn’t manage to answer V-mon’s question and at this point V-mon had lost interest in it, because he tried to answer it again and V-mon just started preparing the counter and led to the stool reserved for him.

He felt like a celebrity with that reception, and this really felt awkward -- Do friends do things like these…?

“Here’s the menu!” and V-mon handed him a card with the stuff included in Daisuke’s ‘Ramen Motomiya’ business;

“Oh, thanks…” he gently took it from V-mon’s hand.

“Hey V-mon, this isn’t needed! Everyone will come here to try out my new creation!”

“What is this new… menu item you were talking about?” Rui asked, out of curiosity.

“It’s a top secret! I’ll reveal its details once everyone is here!”

“Oh, so it’s a surprise…”

“Yup!” Daisuke smiled, “But no worries it’s not sweet! I mean, I know you’re not a fan of sweets so… I had to find the perfect balance of flavor that would make everyone satisfied.”

“Hmm…” He didn’t know what to say, it felt a little odd someone thinking of him and his preferences… But it made him relieved that Daisuke cares enough about him to pull things like these -- This is… True friendship right?

“Iori hates tomatoes,” V-mon explained, “So when Daisuke cooks stuff for everyone he has to remember to not add tomatoes on Iori’s portion.”

“I see…”

“And If someone is lactose intolerant I have to know beforehand so I can prepare a special version of the recipe! Or if they’re vegan. Or if they’re allergic to gluten. Lots of things, culinary school prepared me for this!”

“Yeah!” V-mon nodded, “And that so we cannot get into legal issues! I mean, the boss wouldn’t like to have this place closed because of a little mistake!!”

The door opened and the others came in. V-mon greeted them the same way as Daisuke did before -- Maybe it’s part of their business' greetings? -- and they all got reunited at the counter.

Hikari also came in with her backpack stuffed with something. Rui didn’t know why, it just felt a little… strange??

“So, what is the menu for today, chef?” Takeru chuckled, “You said you created something new.”

“Hehe, glad you asked” Daisuke had the sunglasses on and did the ‘anime glasses thing’ with the light reflection, “V-mon, please.”

“Alright!” and then V-mon served the bowls to the six people, “Bone appetit!” 

“It’s not ‘Bone’ !” Daisuke babbled, “Man, Takeru didn’t ya say it was something like ‘good meal’…”

“Oh, yeah” Takeru nodded, “V-mon it’s ‘ Bon’ , which means ‘good’ in French. And ‘bon appetit’ means ‘enjoy your meal’ ”

“Okay but why is Daisuke using French out of nowhere?” Patamon blinked.

“It’s good to know a bit of each language if I want to open my business in New York!” Daisuke explained, “And maybe I’m considering the idea of doing deliveries later.”

“Is it because of my suggestion?” Iori asked and then Daisuke nodded.

“With the digital gate we can go everywhere!!” V-mon added, “So! We can do something cool like this!!”

“This is just one step to be made!” Daisuke bragged, “Now, enjoy the bowl. I’ll be waiting for your feedback on my most recent creation.”

“Don’t forget to describe the flavors!” V-mon added excitedly.

“So uh, what’s different in it?” Miyako raised an eyebrow, “It doesn’t seem different from the usual bowls you served before…”

“Just… Try it first,” he pouted.

“Will you keep using the sunglasses indoors?” Tailmon seemed quite bothered by that. Even Takeru had taken his beanie off!!

“Well, I’m not a real ramen chef if I don’t have them on.”

“It’s missing the spirals, dagya!” Armadimon commented.

“... I left them at home,” Daisuke shrugged.

“YOU HAVE SUNGLASSES WITH THOSE ANIME SPIRALS!?” Everyone seemed pretty surprised by it. Except V-mon, of course.

“Yeah, and they’re mine!” V-mon replied with a grin.

“THEY BELONG TO V-MON!?”

“I don’t think that should be a surprise” Daisuke took the shades off, “Takeru does the same thing, but with hats!”

“Ah, that’s true,” Wormmon blinked.

“Takeru-san has something equal to that too,” Hawkmon replied with a nod.

“We should quit arguing and start eating!” Takeru babbled nervously when everyone glanced at him, “Or else Daisuke will be even more upset than he is right now!”

The only person not taking part in that discussion was Rui, who was just sitting in the corner and already eating his bowl. Somehow him being this quiet made them all forget he was there… But he didn’t mind it either. He’s still just a stranger, maybe Daisuke only invited him out of courtesy…?

“...”

It’s good -- Rui thought. He didn’t expect something so simple to be good. But isn’t this what Daisuke is in a nutshell? Simple-minded and a box full of surprises. Now he had to compliment that, which is the hard part. The group were already chatting and even arguing about fashion accessories… He felt it would be rude to interrupt them all.

But… This is really good.

He felt even more awkward…

“AHEM!” Daisuke managed to spot he wasn’t involved in their shenanigans, so he just called everyone’s attention to the main subject, “Now, really… Just eat it. And tell me what y’all think about it.”

The group looked at each other and then to Rui sitting there in silence eating. V-mon noticed Rui was… crying??

“Oh no-- is it too bad!?” V-mon gasped, mortified “Daisuke, you made something so horrible he’s--”

“No.”

“Huh??”

“It’s good,” he said, quite awkwardly.

“Then why are you crying??” Patamon asked.

Why am I crying…?? -- Not even he realized the reason for those tears. The group then tried their own bowls, trying to understand Rui’s reaction to the food.

“Oh! It’s tasty!” They all commented.

“See the difference?” Daisuke chuckled.

“What did you do this time??” Hikari asked, impressed by the flavor.

“It’s a secret~”

“He was bored last night and accidentally dropped the wrong seasoning to the broth and then he tried it and got… this new ‘BOOM’ okay??” V-mon explained.

“So it was an accidental discovery,” Iori mused.

“What seasoning was?” Tailmon asked the next question.

“It was…”

Seriously, why am I crying by eating something tasteful? -- Rui kept wondering why a simple ramen bowl could bring him tears. Was it the spice? Was it too spicy? Or too salty?? It didn't make any sense, because he didn’t feel it was too spicy or salty… He just sat there eating in silence and trying to get it, why was he…?!

“Oh, I know! Is it love??” Patamon asked.

“Can you put love in a bowl?” Wormmon asked, innocently.

“Well, putting it that way, yeah it had a ton of love while preparing it for my best pals so…”

“Excuse me,” Miyako stared at Daisuke, “I’m the one who got the Digimental of Love here. Better you teach me your secrets.”

“Then, better you give me your Digimental of Love because I deserve it now.”

“Not a chance!”

They all laughed.

“...”

Meanwhile Rui, oh poor Rui… He was so confused about what the heck is going on with him that he was feeling like spacing out again. He didn’t even realize he finished his bowl quite quicker than the others.

So now he was just watching the empty bowl and thinking how can he describe those feelings and flavors and -- WAIT WHY ARE THEY ALL LOOKING AT HIM NOW?!

“Wow…” Wormmon exclaimed.

“Well… It was d-delicious!” He babbled aloud. Dang it, he’s feeling like a fool…

“Hey, take it easy” Daisuke said, “So uh… How’s that?”

“... It was good.”

“And?”

“... I don’t understand why, but eating this bowl gave me joy… Something I haven’t felt for a long time ago.”

“Oh, so you liked it!?” V-mon gasped.

“V-mon, crying does not always mean sadness” Ken started explaining, “It can mean joy too. Like when Daisuke says something dumb and funny, making everyone cry out of laughter. It can also be out of relief, and so do other reasons as well.”

“... I think I was crying because…”

“... You feel happy to be here, right?” Daisuke tried to guess it.

“H-huh?”

“How’s Ukkomon’s egg going?” Miyako asked, “Did it hatch already?”

“... Not yet,” and then he showed the tiny watch-clock sized egg from his pocket. They all looked at it, “I always take him with me, just in case…”

“That’s a good signal,” Tailmon smiled, and then looked at Hikari, “You have to never lose hope, he will come back. Right, Hikari?”

“Yes, We never lost hope so that’s why we were able to meet each other.”

“... I feel safe with you guys,” Rui blushed a bit. Oh so that’s why he felt a little nervous, right?

“We can help you form connections,” Hawkmon said this time, “But sometimes you need a little push.”

“??”

“Yeah, so that’s why I got you here, dude” Daisuke chuckled, “We want to know more about you!”

“And we want you to know more about us, dagya!”

“... Oh.”

“Ah, I have something to show to everyone!” Hikari then took the stuffed backpack and opened it. Then Tailmon handed each of them a knitted scarf “I made those!!”

“That’s so cute!!” Miyako exclaimed with glee.

“Wow, it has cool details on them!!” Daisuke was in awe, “It reminds me of my Digital World’s jacket!!”

“Mine is Patamon-themed” Takeru commented, then looked at Hikari, “You made all of those, with details… All alone?”

“Oh I helped too” Tailmon started to brag, “I evolved into Angewomon and helped Hikari to knit. So they have an angel touch, haha~”

“Literally an angel touch… (dagya)” The digimon repeated together.

Rui also had one in his hands. It looked like Ukkomon, somehow. Hikari is really nice to give him something too, isn’t she? He kinda needed a little more color in his wardrobe… He had just started to wear some black-and-gray tones after the day he discovered Ukkomon had been hijacking his parents’ bodies (and possibly the rest of the people he had contact with?)… He kinda liked his usual outfit, but this was kinda giving him the will to risk changing a little.

So he put it around his neck. Somehow the colors were too bright for his dark clothes… But he was feeling happy with that humble present. He looked really funny and just felt like a tiny puppy with a new dog collar and wagging his tail happily.

The others just looked at him being more relaxed and comfortable, but Daisuke had to hold his laugh. Yeah, it was a little funny to him. And if he laughed now he could give the wrong message. But that made them all just feel the barrier between them and Rui had turned a little less thicker.

“I can’t use it right now, it will get dirty!!” Daisuke said, blushing, “B-But I will do it later!! And I won’t take it off ever again!”

“It will get stinky and we won’t let you approach us!” Patamon pouted.

“I… I will wash it though!!”

“You can’t wash it if you don’t take it off!”

“I didn’t mean literally not taking it off!!” Daisuke’s awkwardness increased. At least no one was paying attention to Rui feeling so warm and happy with those people taking him to eat ramen and giving him a gift!

More laughs.

“T-thank you…” it was interrupted by Rui simply thanking Hikari, “I… I appreciate it.”

“When Daisuke-kun said he wanted to gather everyone to try a new recipe, I decided to knit those. Now we all have matching scarves. Isn’t it fun?”

“This is the closest to having your crush give you a gift,” V-mon nodded sagely.

“HahahahaHA-- WHAT DO YA MEAN, V-MON!?” Daisuke panicked.

Daisuke-kun is acting weirdly… He probably likes her -- Rui thought. He wasn’t disappointed, but he was now frowning?

“I appreciate it as well, Hikari-chan” Ken thanked her, “Thank you.”

“Yeah, everyone here agrees, right?” Takeru smiled. Everyone agreed in a nod.

“Oh, there’s one more inside” Patamon noticed a 8th scarf in the backpack.

“This one is for Wallace,” Tailmon explained, “He’s part of our friend circle too, don’t forget it.”

“Wallace?” Ken and Rui asked.

“He’s a friend from America,” Hawkmon explained, “But uh… He tends to flirt with girls.”

“He was flirting with Miyako when we first met him,” Daisuke added with an annoyed tone.

“He what ?!” Ken gave Daisuke a legitimate ‘Kaiser-like’ look.

“I think now that you and Miyako-san are dating he would respect that” Iori tried to calm Ken down. He could present the sadistic Kaiser just by that reaction.

“Better he does,” Wormmon said, also sounding very… creepy?

Ichijouji-kun and Wormmon are scary… -- Rui gulped in silence. That murderous glare and the group trying to calm them down… Oh yeah.

“Anyway,” Daisuke slammed his hands on the other side of the counter, “Better you give me your notes. I need approval from this team here. And this includes you too, Rui.”

“... Ah, right… I think I liked it…?” 

“The flavors were well balanced,” Ken said nonchalantly, “and your presentation of it looks refined even if you’re just starting this business. And I think it would’ve been good if…”

They watched Ken just rambling about Daisuke’s ramen  like a legit restaurant reviewer and it made Rui quite impressed.

“... And serving it with a good shot of the client’s preferred drink could improve the experience.”

“Is… Is Ichijouji-kun a food critic…?”

“He tends to do those long reviews,” Tailmon shrugged, “You will get used to him.”

“Yeah, he’s a nerd” Daisuke rolled his eyes. Ken blushed out of embarrassment.

“But we love him so he’s our nerd!” Miyako added, and the blush in Ken intensified.

“Sooooo… Do y’all approve this one?”

“Yeah!/Yes!/Mhm!” They all said.

This group of people and their digimon seem so refreshing… Is this what friendship means? Is this… what having real friends means?

Rui felt his encounter with those people and digimon had helped him to start healing his heart. Somehow… He realized what Ukkomon had said back in time, on his 8th birthday.

The ‘friends’ Ukkomon couldn't bring that time… They weren’t his classmates.

It was those people. It was exactly this group of people, apparently.

He took the egg from his pocket and looked at it, with a calm and warm smile:

Thank you, Ukkomon. For leading me to them.

[sharloola]

my eggs keep going bad

And I like to say it’s because I live alone now and food goes off a lot quicker when my brothers aren’t in the same house but I only buy the small carton and four eggs isn’t a lot at all so actually the reason my eggs go bad is because I don’t use them. I keep buying eggs and they keep going bad because most days I can only muster the energy to only make ramen because ramen is better than nothing and if I add two eggs that’s almost a real meal so I say “Okay. You’ll just eat this today. And tomorrow it will be something better because you will love yourself by then and go grocery shopping.” But then tomorrow comes and it’s two weeks later and the eggs are bad again so I throw them in the bin and I think that there might be something wrong with me.

I tend to twist my words when I don’t want to be me which happens a lot because I’ve managed to forget how my body feels and if I have to be me I don’t think my bones will remember how not to break so sometimes words like “is” pretend they are words like “might be” because if you stretch out the truth people get distracted in the gaps and don’t realise your mouth is missing. I think there has always been something wrong with me and the problem with knowing there’s something wrong with you and doing nothing else but thinking about it is that you always know there’s something wrong with you and you know exactly what caused it and how you got here and why you keep buying eggs but you don’t know why you can’t cry these days or if you always hated being here.

I should like being here because my friends hold me and every sunset looks like love has fallen out of the sky and there are a million things I could do but sometimes I think so much about not being here even when sunset blazes and my friends are holding me. I feel so guilty that their arms are wrapped around a dead thing but they keep asking me if I’m okay the same way I keep buying eggs and I keep saying I’ll be fine and I don’t think any of us believe it but I’m not sure if people like us have any other options so I laugh for good measure and feel bad that I can’t say how I’m really feeling as I read articles about how it’s good to say how you’re really feeling which I know is true because I read a lot about brains like mine and I think I am a smart person but then again I don’t know if a smart person would waste as many eggs as I do and I think I’m going to break my mothers heart. 

Only because if she ever finds out how many eggs I have thrown away she will probably realise that I was never any good with money and if she realises that her entire version of me might unravel until only a shadow remains and my dad will look over her shoulder and be so humiliated by the whole ordeal that he won’t even acknowledge it. My mum likes to tell the story of how I was born premature against all the odds and how my tiny barely developed hands ripped off the oxygen mask which signalled to the doctor that I was stronger than anyone thought but if she finds out about the eggs she might realise that I didn’t need that mask because I have never needed to breathe. I have never breathed because I have always been so terrified to make the wrong move that even a breath seemed too risky but everyone called that sensible and said I must be smart because they had never seen a child read so many books but no one ever asked me why I read so much and maybe if they had all those words in my head could have explained that I was suffocating and only books seemed to listen to me but I don’t read much these days anyway. 

I try to when I’m on the train which is fine until I remember people can see me then I forget how to read and start thinking about how all my particles are occupying space and how the eggs in my bag might be cracked and spilling over my laptop right now and god. I know it’s ridiculous to think about eggs this much but they break so easily sometimes I mistake them for the skin of my fourteen year old self and I save recipes every so often with very few steps and cold ingredients because I know what I’m like and that I’d probably be less tired if I ate like everyone else did. I add the ingredients to my shopping list and imagine myself going to the kitchen but then the thoughts catch up and I’m glued to my bed again and wondering how a shadow can be so heavy. I try to teach myself how to breathe but by the time I’ve realised that’s futile it’s time to leave the house again and check if I paid the water bill and balance my limbs enough to pass as human and maybe I can be better this time if I just talk less and feel more maybe I just need to buy more eggs.

s.o.

[cyandtonic]

Neon Nights with Jinx and Azula (Silhouette)

This was originally supposed to be a much simpler artwork, but I got COVID and had nothing else to do, so I got a little bit carried away😂I had originally intended to just do silhouettes and have a solid background, but I hate making things easy for myself, soooo that’s how this happened. 

I designed this as just an Azula artwork, but the aesthetic fit Jinx so well... I just couldn’t help myself. I honestly think I’m happier with her version, but I think both turned out pretty well. 

I have another painting in the works right now, but it’s gonna be a while before it ever sees the light of day. It’s another Gladiator one, but it’s a bit ambitious, soooo we’ll see how it goes...

Oh! And Azula is drinking a Manhattan (cause she likes the spiciness of a good Rye, obviously), and Jinx is drinking a CyandTonic, my namesake and a drink I created (in case anyone wanted to know what my name means). Maybe I’ll add the recipe in a fanfic or something 🤷‍♂️

[luigi-fanatic-in-the-attic]

Super Paper Mario Recipe Ideas (Pt. 1)

Hello all! This is my first blog post and I wanted to talk about two things I love: Super Paper Mario and food! Note this will be a series of posts, and I will start with Saffron’s recipes first (the one-ingredient ones). Without further ado, let’s-a go!

Block Meal

I don’t know about you guys, but this looks pretty appetizing. To me it looks like a big cube of jello! Maybe lemon flavored since it has a lemon slice next to it. Making this would be very simple; just make a big, clear, lemon flavored jello cube with a piece of lemon on the side. 

Dayzee Syrup

As soon as I saw this, I noticed it looks a lot like Finest Call brand Blue Curacao Syrup. Curacao syrup is made from the Lahara fruit mainly made on the Curaçao island. There are both alcoholic and non-alcoholic versions, so anyone can enjoy it. Since the Dayzee syrup is shown in a pitcher, I assume it’s supposed to be a sort of drink? For this, I would mix some curacao syrup with lemonade (about a 1:4 ratio). Then add some rose petals to fit the Dayzee vibe and boom! A cool drink with an even cooler color!

Fried Egg

It’s not the most unique thing on the recipe list, but there is room for personalisation. I myself just add salt and dig in, but one could add super shrooms, spit roast, any SPP ingredient really! The world (or in this case the egg) is our canvas, so do whatever’s most fun!

That’s all I got for now, but I’ll get back to this at another time. Until then, have a great day!

[emiewritesthings]

doctor, doctor - jay halstead

jay halstead x fem!reader

summary: in which y/n takes it into her own hands to look after a sick jay 

a/n: i’m not gonna lie i think this is one of my fav things i’ve ever written, i would really appreciate some feedback and p.s the beginning of it is based on that scene from brooklyn 99 :)

masterlist

“okay, it’s 10 o’clock, meaning halstead is officially an hour late to work,” y/n announced as she appeared from the break room with a mug of poorly made coffee. looking around, she had immediately distracted everyone in the room with her playful smile. “okay let’s do this, theories!” she encouraged, taking a sip with excitement, but immediately regretting it as s he spat it back in the mug and abandoned it on adam’s desk as she leant against it.

“uh, he forgot to set his alarm?” antonio suggested, willing to play along with the little game that y/n had created. however clearly his answer didn’t suffice as y/n scrunched up her nose and shook her head in disappointment.

“you are a detective in a unit that just last week rescued 5 people kidnapped and used as chess pieces in a human sized version of the game and the best you could come up with is he forgot to set his alarm? pfft, disappointing, dawson. who’s willing to take this seriously?” she scoffed, brushing his idea off with a simple roll of the eyes as the group laughed at her ridiculousness. 

“maybe he has been murdered by a gang looking for revenge.” adam piped up, earning a sudden and rather forceful slap on the back as y/n cheered. her eyes looking over at antonio as she gestured towards the less experienced detective.

“yes, that’s what i’m talking about. bit dark, ruzek, but better than dawson’s,” y/n hummed, adam clearly pleased with the praise he had received by the pretty detective. “any one else wanna shot?” she offered it out into the room, suddenly the sound of rolling wheels on the chair had everyone turn to face al who was munching on a ham sandwich.

“he walked into the middle of a drug ring, slept with the kingpins daughter and is now having limbs removed, one by the hour.” suddenly an eery silence fell in the bullpen as al suddenly disappeared back to his desk and everyone was left with an image that she was sure was burned on the inside of everyones mind.

“uh, okay, someone might want to arrange a psych check for olinsky asap,” y/n mumbled, pointing in the direction where he had once been and looking around as if checking that she hadn’t been the only one to hear al’s suggestion. “anyways, all of you are wrong. clearly he has joined a motorbike gang and now makes his money on the road striking off names on the government’s hit list.” 

just as the room erupted into discussion about how idiotic this conversation was, as well as their ideas, the sound of footsteps caught y/n’s attention as she arrived at her desk. however as he reached the floor, the reason for his absence was clear.

“woah, you look like death.” adam chuckled, it immediately being silenced as jay sent a deadly glare his way. with his skin paler than normal with undertones of green, a layer of sweat draped over his forehead. jay flashed as smile at y/n as he passed, reaching his desk and collapsing on his chair with a wince. 

as everyone went back to what they were doing, y/n found herself straying her eyes away from her computer screen for longer and longer periods of time until she found herself by his side with a sickly sweet grin, pun intended. 

“i don’t wanna hear it, y/l/n.” jay mumbled, massaging his temples with his fingers hoping it would somehow sooth his pounding skull. whilst usually he had every minute of his day just to hear the woman chat away about whatever crossed her mind, he had found himself in quite the state since last night, leaving him restless and irritable.

“believe it or not, i just wanted to make sure you were alright,” y/n’s entire demeanour crumbled as she melted at the soft features of his face that came with being so vulnerable. but from the look in jay’s eyes, it was clear he didn’t 100% believe her excuse. “and to ask what the hell you think you are doing here? you are sick jay, you need to rest.” 

it was very rare that jay found himself ill. in the years that y/n had been working by the man’s side, she could count on one hand the times she had seen him with so much as a cough. in fact she had called him captain immune system for a period of time when she realised he was pretty much indestructible. y/n couldn’t deny the concern bubbling in her gut seeing him so weak.

“i’m fine,” with her eyes slitted in a look that practically shouted ‘bullshit’, jay continued. “i promise, it’s just a little cold. nothing serious, i think i’ll survive.” he joked dryly, finding it incredibly hard to look away from y/n for her eyes were filled with a warmth that he knew was an expression usually saved for those she cared deeply about. 

“yeah well, you need to take care of yourself, jay, i’m being serious. chicago can cope if you just have one day off, get your energy back.” 

y/n was reminded of the times she had the exact same words spoken to her by the exact person that didn’t seem to want to take them onboard. every time she had so much as a sniffle he would be straight over with some soup that his mother used to swear by and the name of a box set that he would put on for the two of them to watch as he sat stroking her hair in order to try and convince her body to rest. neither of them had anyone else to take care of them, so had taken it upon themselves to be that person for the other. 

“now, i’m gonna go tell voight that i’m taking you home before you infect this whole office.” before he could object, she had already ran (not literally but jay was impressed by her speed walking) to her boss’ office. knocking on the door, with a sweet smile and a sea of words running off her tongue so quickly that voight had to agree just to shut her up, y/n returned by his side. “come on, germ face, your carriage awaits.” 

“you know i love it when you talk dirty to me, y/l/n.” winking at her, y/n giggled as she supported him back down the stairs and out of the station. the two chatted away, y/n explaining how she thought al was secretly a sociopath and jay filing her in on the newest instalment of his apartment block drama until they pulled up in front of jay’s apartment building. 

as they walked through the door, jay’s arm resting around y/n’s shoulders as he struggled to find strength, they managed to reach the sofa before y/n’s body gave up. both of them letting out large breathes before looking at each other and falling into laughter. 

“you hungry, i could try making your mom’s soup?” y/n asked, as she pushed herself up to look down at the man. her hair falling down around her face and tickling jay’s skin. “i’m sure it won’t be as good as her’s but i’m willing to give it a try.” 

the way she was sat with the large window gleaming light behind her, y/n almost looked like an angel. her eyes and smile were wide, with her beauty wrapping its hands around jay’s neck squeezing until his head felt light and he nearly reached up to touch her porcelain skin. but jay had noticed the sensation way before he was blocked up with a cold.

“yeah, uh, that sounds nice.” jay agreed with a minimal amount of sass, but y/n didn’t seem to notice as she moved off the cushions and towards the kitchen. she had pretty much memorised the recipe when jay had finally given it to her on her birthday after offering to pay for it multiple times. whizzing around the kitchen, she was too busy to notice the tired eyes admiring her from afar. 

jay wished his mom was alive to see the woman that she would have loved. all the times he had brought girls back to his family when he was younger didn’t add up to an ounce of the beauty and power that y/n held in her middle finger. the way she bit back at his wit, but also had the ability to spot when he was upset from the other side of the city. she was everything her mother wanted in a daughter in law, everything she wanted for her little boy. 

“okay, give me your honest opinion. i can take it i promise.” y/n sudden appeared with a tray that held a large bowl of the semi-thick orange liquid, a glass of water and a couple pills. approaching jay, she carefully helped him up from where he laid and placed it onto his lap. “actually that was a complete lie, do not tell me the truth. i may just cry.” 

“why thank you, nurse y/l/n.” he teased.

“it’s doctor actually.” she quipped back.

jay chuckled lowly, as he grabbed the spoon and took a large spoonful to his mouth. feeling the slight sting of his tongue at the heat, it was only when the flavours hit that he was suddenly transported to an earlier time in his life. a simpler time. only this time there was y/n by his side. 

“the verdict?” she prompted, taking a seat besides him, pulling her knees up to her chest. 

“not sure whether i want to tell you, don’t think you’ll fit in this room if your ego grows any bigger.” y/n grinned as she leaned over to press a kiss against his shoulder. jay closed his eyes at the contact, feeling the ache in his body freeze for a moment as it registered the tingling sensation. “all jokes aside, it really is good.” 

“i’m glad, your mother was a smart woman.” she nodded, leaning forward to turn tv on. jay continued to spoon the soup into his mouth, as y/n chose a show that they both had started together and had refused to watch another minute without the other. y/n leaned back making herself comfortable, having already texted voight telling him that she would most likely need the entire day off, and getting the go ahead, she had no plans other than being by jay’s side for the next however many hours. 

it was sometime in the early evening and the tv continued to emit light, but neither jay nor y/n was paying any attention to the drama. jay, with his head on y/n lap, was leaning into her touch as her short, thin fingers ran through the dark strands that sprouted from his scalp. his body wrapped in a blanket that y/n had grabbed from his room, he felt completely at peace. 

“you know what, i think you are more bearable when you are at death’s door.” y/n joked quietly, as the forest green eyes were exposed back to her own. jay groaned in annoyance, realising that there was no sweet y/n without the sharped tongue y/n. a trait he adored, but at his own expense. 

“and to think i was starting to think you had gone soft on me, y/l/n.” he hummed, wishing he could forever have her giggle on repeat wherever he went, for the sound made goosebumps run down his neck and down his arms, like some kind of magic that only y/n possessed. 

“as much as i love you, i can’t risk my bad ass reputation for you.” 

although jay was sure it was just part of her banter, the moment the ‘i love you’ fell off her tongue, he found himself wide awake, unable to push past the feeling in his gut as it looped over again and again in his mind. y/n could see the conflict in his face, as he glanced up at her with something she had never noticed before. 

“you mean it?” he asked. 

“mean what?” confused, her fingers fell from his hair, making jay regret ever opening his mouth.

“do you really, you know, love me?” he knew he had committed too far to try and retreat. maybe he could blame it on the fact he couldn’t think straight, although she was like a lie detector that wouldn’t let such a bogus excuse pass. y/n blinked down at him, watching as he sat up to look at her with a hunger that needed to be addressed. swallowing the lump in her throat, y/n nodded.

“of course, you are one of my best friends, jay.” it was true, but it wasn’t the full truth, both of them knew that.

“i didn’t realise we had started lying to one another,” jay’s eyes were soft, as he reached to place his hand against her cheek, smiling as she slowly leaned into it. closing her eyes, she tried to find what direction she was looking for, but didn’t dare take the first step. without even thinking, jay jutted forward and captured her lips before they could form a single syllable. 

gently, but passionately, jay and y/n moved their lips against the others. the feeling was ever-growing as the kiss deepened and deepened until they had no choice to pull back, deprived of their ability to breath. as jay’s eyes came back into view, y/n, for the first time in her life, had lost the ability to form a sentence. 

“we just...” she began but it ran off quickly. jay chuckled.

“we did.”

the two sat in silence, examining the other one’s face until y/n found herself moving forward until she was sat in his lap, legs wrapped around his waist as she pressed her lips against his. just like before their bodies and minds were set ablaze with desire and what had remained unspoken for what felt like forever. jay had nearly completely forgotten about the illness that had put him in the care of the woman that he craved more than anything else the world had to offer. 

as their lips parted ways, suddenly the air had thinned and everything felt... normal. jay’s lips were unable to break out of the large grin mould that y/n had put them in, which was soon mirrored by the young woman. a small giggle escaping her lips.

“if i get whatever it is you have, i expect the exact same treatment.” 

“only for you, doctor y/l/n.”

[danineverwenttoazkaban]

SE Appreciation Week - Fic 1 (Karol route)

@sweeteliteweek Very late but I just barely ended this not so short fic.

This is Karol’s route imagining some moments like the airport goodbye and days later while they’re at home so Papa Scholar is also featuring. I couldn’t help but add a bit of Tegan too and I tried to put several ideas I had together on the same story. Hopefully the back and forth between present and past is not too confusing. I didn’t know how to name it so I just took a song I was listening to by Wilco that is really sweet if anyone wants to listen to it.

Jesus, Etc.

The familiar vibrant and noisy city was something Scholar hadn’t think she would miss during those months at Arlington’s. Especially not the noises from the neighbor from the floor above as she rowed with her husband for the third time tonight, the people pacing up and down the stairs, the kids playing, the pizza delivery guys and Misses Jones with her 5 dogs. She smirked thinking what Karolina would say if she heard all this noise and reminisced to when they met, smiling at the thought. She would be rich by now if she was given a dollar for each time she thought of Karolina since she got on the plane home.

 --------------------------------------------------------------

“That’s my plane, people! Enjoy the journey home!”, announced Tyler as he picked up his heavy luggage. He hadn’t explained what the heck he was carrying on his bags but Scholar assumed it was something artistic.

“Hey Tyler, don’t forget about tomorrow’s match! There will be a 30% buff bonus”, said Tegan.

“Oh man, I told you I have that thing with my parents. I’ll make it up to you later, promise”, replied Tyler.

“… ok”, said Tegan as he gave him a weak smile, clearly disappointed.

“Cheers!”, shouted Tyler as he ran towards gate A27.

Only Scholar, Tegan and Karolina remained in the departure lounge. Neither Tegan or Karolina seemed particularly happy of going home, in fact Tegan was staring at the floor as if he had just been told Christmas had been cancelled this year.

“Hey, maybe I could join? I am not very good at videogames to be honest but you can teach me”, said Scholar putting a hand on Tegan’s shoulder.

Tegan looked up and smiled blushing.

“S-sure, I think you’d make a great cleric”, Scholar had no idea what that meant but she hated the sad aspect Tegan had.

She noticed Karolina was staring at her direction, a curious look on her face. In that moment, she heard her flight being called.

“Well, I guess I have to go now”, she said to both of them.

Tegan nodded.

“I’ll call you tomorrow to set your PC ready for the match”.

“Sounds like a plan!”, she answered before giving him a quick hug.

As she let go of Tegan, she looked at Karolina, unsure on how to approach her. Scholar took a step in her direction, asking for permission, they had barely talked since the night of the basement

“… I-I… goodbye, Karolina. Enjoy the holidays”, she said with slight nervousness, waiting for an answer.

Karolina was biting her lip and seemed uneasy, as if she was making up her mind about something. She leaped forward and put her arms around Scholar. The girl let go of the breath she had unknowingly kept as she felt Karolina’s warm embrace.

“Let me know when you arrive home”, Scholar heard Karolina whisper close to her ear, her breath sending shivers down her spine. She then felt something touching her cheek, she froze when she realized it was Karolina’s lips. The touch was so soft, so slight that it could had just been Scholar’s imagination. They let go of the embrace and Scholar felt her heart sink at the idea of being apart from her so many days.

“I will, you too, please”, she answered. Both Karolina and Tegan nodded and Scholar took her luggage before parting…

 The following day, Scholar had to excuse to her father early because Tegan had opened an account for her in the game they were supposed to play, in fact he had even customized her character based on a number of questions he had asked, many of which Scholar wasn’t sure how to answer. As she started her PC and positioned on her seat, she could not help but feel excited, seeing Tegan through the webcam meant also, perhaps, seeing her as well. Tegan’s face as he logged in had a mixture of sadness, exhaustion and defeat, he didn’t have Karolina’s ability of putting on a straight face, Scholar didn’t want to push an answer out so she didn’t ask. They spent a couple of hours playing, Scholar died way too many times in pure noob style but Tegan didn’t mind, in fact he laughed each time as she panicked when the other players surrounded her with attacks.

“Thank you, Scholar. You made my day”, Tegan told her after the match was over.

“I’m glad, I had a great time even though I clearly suck for this…”, she answered giggling. Tegan laughed as well, he covered his mouth whenever he laughed and Scholar thought it was cute but sad at the same time how insecure he could be at times, even among his friends.

“… She’s busy talking to mom and dad, by the way”, Tegan added after a while, “in case you were wondering.”

“Oh… it’s ok. Is everything alright?”, Scholar asked concerned, to be honest their parents didn’t exactly sound like the kind that understood and supported their children.

“They didn’t take well all that happened in FAXION, I almost didn’t login for the game but she wanted me to let her handle it on her own”, answered Tegan, “she didn’t want me blowing up and them… “, he paused, “… doesn’t matter, I will take care of her now.”

“She’s a tough girl, she worries about you too”, said Scholar, “let me know if you need anything”

“Of course, thanks again. I will tell her you say ‘hi’ ”, said Tegan before closing the session.

 ------------------------------------------------------------------------

Scholar sighed as she wondered how things had gone back at the twins’ house, hoping they were ok. The days that had followed to gaming night not much had happened. Tyler spammed them with funny selfies from the Red Carpet of God knows which movie his parents had taken him to, Tadashi and Alistair sent photos with the Drews, especially the dogs at Axel’s request, and Claire and Neha exchanged recipes for Christmas season. But barely anything from Karolina, still the fact Tegan kept sending memes mocking how bad she was at gaming was oddly comforting.

“Honey, I’m home, can you give me a hand with the bags?”, called Papa Scholar’s voice.

“Sure, dad, coming!”, answered Scholar and she walked towards the kitchen.

The bags were full of materials for her father’s famous pasta recipe but this time with a twist: he had agreed on incorporating one of Claire's many recipes. Both of them prepared everything for their movie night. Afterwards, they settled in the living room as they picked a title. They decided on one of the old movies that Scholar’s father loved “Pride and Prejudice”. Scholar had tried to get his father to watch the newer adaptation of the story but it had been pointless, the 1995 version was the one her mother loved and in a way for him watching the movie again meant reliving the joyful moments they passed together. Scholar had seen it too a handful of times yet this time it felt different, she felt connected not only because it had been her mom’s favorite movie but because the situation was now all too familiar. The pride and prejudice dance.

“You keep looking at your cell phone, expecting someone’s message?”, Papa Scholar asked as he arched an eyebrow.

“N-no, just checking the hour”, Scholar tried to reply, unconvincingly.

“Hmm, don’t forget I was your age once and fell in love at your age too”, the kind man answered giving her a warm smile.

But before Scholar could reply, they heard the alert of a new message coming in. Scholar jumped at the sound and widened her eyes at the name that appeared on the screen: “Karolina”. She quickly unlocked the cell phone, almost dropping it due to the urgency. Not paying attention to her father’s laugh at her clumsy movements, she opened the message:

Karolina: Are you awake?

Scholar: Yes, hi…

Karolina: Can I call you?

Scholar’s heart drop at her message. Almost three days without a message from her and now here she was asking for a call. She really did take that “best way to win someone is to surprise them” to the bone.

“Sorry, dad. Could we drop it here? A friend from Arlington wants to talk to me”

“Don’t worry, girl. Go call your friend”, she really did have the best dad.

 Scholar practically ran towards her room and texted her back.

Scholar: Sure.

Immediately her phone was vibrating and ringing. She answered almost as a reflex.

“Karolina?”, started Scholar, trying not to sound too excited.

“… Did I interrupt you?”, asked Karolina. Her voice on the phone was something Scholar couldn’t had foreseen would make her feel weak on the knees.

“No, uhm, I was just finishing watching a movie with my dad”

“Was it one of those cheesy old movies your dad likes?”, Karolina asked on a mocking tone. Wow, she had really paid attention…

“Ha, yeah. Pride and Prejudice… because you know how much I’m into the hate to love trope”, she blurted out surprising herself. Was it too bold to hint at ‘them’ like that? What was it about Karolina that it made her go rogue often.

Silence.

“… yes, I know”, Karolina answered. Scholar wondered, hoped, if Karolina was blushing.

“And what are you doing?”

“Our parents threw a party”

“Wow, sounds like fun.”

“It’s just the usual winter party they throw every year ”

“I’ve never been into a party like that”

“Of course not”, Karolina blurted out, “… I didn’t mean it to sound like that, I-I don’t think you’re missing anything”

“Karolina, not that I mind but why are you talking to me instead of enjoying yourself out there?”

 -------------------------------------------------------------------------

Karolina was standing in front of the wall mirror of her bedroom. Her new pine green dress matched perfectly the emerald earrings her father had bought her last year as well as the red lipstick. Everything fit together

“Miss, they are waiting for you downstairs”, the maid called after softly knocking the door.

Karolina took her purse and proceeded towards the lobby, across the dining room and into the garden. The surrounding people dressed in etiquette, the tables and the exquisite centerpieces seemed all surreal. She felt disconnected to this usual display of frivolity and superfluous social interactions, greeting people with a fake smile and pretending to care about the chit-chat. These people who if given the chance would rather see them in ruins.

At dinner, she sat with a couple of acquaintances, girls she had known since her childhood, the type her parents considered ‘appropriate’ but could never truly be friends. Her mind drifted elsewhere, back to the chalet, the sensation of safety, of being seen for the first time through the façade of her strong petty attitude, the possibility of being just ‘Karol’. She excused herself as the girls looked at her questioningly, stood up and walked behind a couple of bushes seeking some privacy.

“I heard she is going down her mother’s route”, she heard a voice say from behind the bushes.

“Her scandal at FAXION was disastrous, everyone has been talking about it”, followed another voice.

“Honestly, does it surprise anyone? It was a wonder she got this far”, said a third voice.

Karolina felt the anger and hurt built inside her, she was about to turn around and face whoever felt they had the right to talk behind her back in her own house when her cellphone vibrated. She took out her cellphone and noticed Scholar had sent a message to the group thanking Claire for the last recipe attaching also a photo of Scholar and her father cooking. She smiled at how happy they seemed and got lost in the sparkle of her eyes. She bit her lip debating on whether or not to message her… Screw it.

------------------------------------------------------------------

 “… Hmm, Karolina, is everything ok? Can you still hear me”, Scholar asked.

“Yes, I-I just … “, Karolina answered.

“You know you can tell me anything”, Scholar said, “how is everything with your parents?”

She heard Karolina sighed.

“Not good but I’d rather not talk about it”

“I’m sorry about that but it’s fine, what do you want to talk about then?”

“Nothing really, I was just bored, this party is obnoxious”, Scholar’s heart skipped a beat at her words, does she just miss me?

“I see…”, Scholar said. With her heart palpitating like crazy and the excitement of talking to Karolina she couldn’t hold back her emotions and she added, “… I miss you too.”

“I never said… you’re right, I do”, Scholar smirked. Karolina admitting her feelings was so refreshing; Scholar would need one of Neha’s teas to calm down the butterflies in her stomach.

“So dull party, huh? Should I be thankful I didn’t get invited?”, followed Scholar.

“I don’t find this type of parties endearing anymore”

“What? Hanging out with me is harming your social standards”

“Haha, you wished. I’ve never liked these parties but it was a good opportunity to meet important people”

“Oh, did you meet anyone interesting this time?”

“No, I found out that people are still talking about my FAXION fiasco”, Scholar felt her blood boil at that.

“They did? I wished I could beat some sense into that people”,

Karolina chuckled.

“Hey, I don’t mind. It’s better if they talk about me, free publicity. Besides we technically won.”

“That you did, you two were amazing, seriously no one could rival Neha’s designs. Also, you looked so beautiful and classy… even though you weren’t feeling well, you pulled that off despite everything. I can only imagine the big things you’ll do in the near future”

“You’re sweet. But remember I could steal your third place in the Gold Tier if you’re not careful”

“Oh Miss Novakova, we’ll see about that, we could bet to me beating you up in the finals”, were they flirting for real this time?, Scholar thought.

“You’re not taking me to the cafeteria again, are you?”, oh they definitely were.

“Hmm how about taking you to the gardens? Like a picnic?”, oh god, was she asking her on a date?!

“Hmmm… ok, deal”, Scholar heard Karolina answer. She did just ask Karolina on a date and she said yes!

“Deal”, wow. But this time she wouldn’t let Karolina say it wasn’t a date.

She heard Karolina laugh on the other end and it made her grin like an idiot, she wondered if Karolina was blushing furiously like she was.

“Thank you, by the way”, Karolina said after a brief silence.

“For what?”

“Helping my brother stay calm. You didn’t have to do that”

“I’m glad to help, he’s a dear friend and it killed me to see him so sad”

“He has been happier considering…”, Scholar assumed she meant with whatever was going on in their house. She wished she could do more.

“And you? Feeling better?”, Scholar asked.

“Much better”,

“I’m glad. I’m here for you, always”

“I know, I’m here for you too”, her voice sounded soft, to think about how much had happened for them to get to this point.

“I have to hang up now, we’ll talk soon”, Karolina added.

“Oh ok, of course, go back to the party”, she didn’t know what to say, she could had kept talking to her all holidays if she could.

“Good night… Oh, and watch out your door tomorrow”, Karolina said with a curious tone in her voice, almost nervous.

“Tomorrow? What happens tomorrow?”, Scholar asked confused.

“J-just pay attention, ugh. I have to go now.”

“Ok, ok, I will do. Good night, Karolina”, and with that she was left with the usual cellphone tone.

 The following day was Christmas’ Eve. To say she had spent the morning ecstatic was an understatement. She kept circling around the call she had with Karolina, the fact she had asked her out on a date and whatever she meant by watching out for her door. Her dad was surprised that out of all the friends she had made at Arlington it was actually Karolina whom she had a crush on (she had to tell him since she couldn’t hide her joy).

“My first guess was that girl Claire who kindly gave us the recipes for Christmas dinner”, Papa Scholar said as he found out about the source of her daughter’s disturbance.

“Funny you guessed Claire, dad”, sighed Scholar remembering the fatal mistletoe incident.

“Why funny?”

“Oh dad, it’s just… a long story”, Scholar said.

“Well, I have to say that Karolina girl is drop dead gorgeous and if you say she is nicer to you, I believe you. When can you invite her here?”

“Dad! We’re not even… I mean, we almost … kissed b-but …”

They were interrupted by a knock on the door.

“I’ll get it”, said Papa Scholar.

“Actually dad, can you let me check who it is?”, jumped Scholar as she headed to the door.

She peaked from the door peephole. On the other side there was a guy looking like a delivery man.

“H-hello? Who is it?”, Scholar asked.

“Good afternoon, I have a delivery for a person named Scholar”, the guy answered from the other side.

Scholar opened the door, the man was carrying a golden plastic bag with a red bow on the outside.

“Hi, I’m Scholar”

“Oh great, I’m supposed to deliver this”, he handed her the bag, “please sign here… and here”

Scholar did as he requested and looked at the bag, it looked very elegant for a plastic bag.

“Thank you, merry Christmas, ma’am”

“Thank you too, merry Christmas!”

Scholar walked towards the living room holding the odd bag on her right hand. She took a seat on the couch and placed the bag on top of the table, slowly opening it. There was a card and a small black box on the inside. She took out the small box and opened it being startled by its content. It was an astonishing silver necklace with a sapphire pendant on the center, tiny diamonds seemed to surround the almost heart-shaped figure of the pendant. Papa Scholar couldn’t believe his eyes either, he got the card out and gasped.

“Honey, you need to read the card, look”, Papa Scholar said as he handed it out for her.

Scholar took the card in her shaky hands and opened it carefully:

“Hopefully this starts your way into the better fashion sense you desperately need… Merry Christmas, Karolina”

Scholar lost no time and rushed to get her cellphone. Please answer, please answer, she thought as she heard the dialing tone.

“Hi”, she heard Karolina’s voice answer.

“I-I-… Oh god, I-I can’t even… It’s so beautiful!”, Scholar tried to say forgetting how to speak.

“I am glad you like it.”

“I just… wow… thank you! How did you know where I live?”

“Uh-oh, guess who, Scholar”, she heard Tegan’s voice say.

“Y-you! From the time we played together… should had figured. “, Scholar said laughing.

“You got me, hehe. I’ll give Karol back her cell phone. Merry Christmas!”

“Merry Christmas, Tegan!”

“I am sorry I had to ask him”

“Don’t be sorry, I love it”, Scholar said, almost as much as I love you, she thought, “I didn’t get you anything for Christmas, I feel awful, you went through all this and I-“

“I don’t need you to get me anything, just everything you’ve done for me and … how much I … I can’t tell you on the phone, ok?”, Karolina said.

“… s-sure. Thank you so much, Karol”, was it the first time she called her Karol out loud?

“Besides I already feel like I have my Christmas gift… Anyway, our father is calling us. Merry Christmas, Scholar”

“Merry Christmas, Karol”, Scholar replied and added, “I… you know I do too, for a while now if I’m honest.”

“I kind of knew but didn’t want to see it… Enjoy your night”

“Y-you too. Bye”.

 This was definitely the best Christmas she could had ever imagined, she only wished she could had thanked her in person but soon, very soon they will be able to figure it out.

END

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hope you guys like it! The ending was rushed because it’s super late here so sorry for that.

[nimbus-tatze]

Thanks goes to @h-dgp bc otherwise I'd never live up to my promised posts, in this case a recipe. A long post.

So here's what I'd cook for my mutuals if I could

Psıhaluj, which is dough filled with either cheese, meat, or potato, served with yoghurt and garlic sauce. The dish itself is not super 'rare', variations of it exist in so many cultures, but this is the way our tribe prepares and serves it.

This will be the recipe for the potato version

Start with the filling so it can cool down, otherwise it'll be too hot to handle

For the filling:

4-5 potatoes: boil them and after peeling them take a fork and break them down.

One big onion (or several small ones): finely chop the onions and put them in a pan with a bit of oil on medium heat, until they start to turn translucent at the edges

into the pan add the potatoes, and a good dash of pepper flakes, dried dark purple basil (that's the good stuff, I got a good chunk from my village) and salt. Mix it well. Let it cool.

Also eat that stuff pretending to 'taste it' bc it's good

Now while the filling cools down you can prepare the dough. There are different versions, but I always do the most simple one. Which is:

500 gr of flour

I don't know american dumbass measurements but I think it's half a regular spoon of salt?? I don't know man, I don't stick to a recipe usually. Do whatever you think is approapriate.

mix these two well, then start adding water. How much? I have no idea, just add it bit by bit, by the end the dough should not be sticky. Put it in a plastic bag or smth and let it rest for thirty minutes or so. Or less. I don't write the rules

Ok while the dough and the filling are waiting I usually prepare the sauces. Two types, always, bc that's a rule i WILL stick to.

Sauce one:

Yoghurt, about one and a half cup (or depending on your preference for yoghurt more or less, in my case it's always a bit more)

Add crushed garlic. I could say one clove, but honestly go wild if you want. Just know that sauce no.2 is based on garlic too, so if you can't handle that much stick to one clove (the house is gonna be vampire resistant for the rest of the night, yes, bless my ancestors)

A bit of salt. Just a lil. Mix well. Done.

Sauce Two:

In a pan melt some butter. With some I mean a lot. My people live from animal ag and so I'm used to a lot of butter. Honestly no idea how much. 100 grams? 150 grams? Dunno how that black sheep from the VVitch would try to match my consumption of butter

Before the butter starts to bubble add AT LEAST three or four cloves of garlic (you can add more if you are brave, usually after five cloves I’ll add a bit of water to turn it less intense) and half a spoon of pepper flakes, don't be shy. Put it in there, make sure the butter is hot and let it foam up a bit. Make sure to stir it and don't let the butter turn too dark. If it foams take it off the heat, stir it a bit and let it rest. Done

Ok now that you've got everything ready the troublesome part starts, filling and closing the Psıhaluj.

Take out about a third of the dough, and on a well floured surface, flatten it until it's about 2-3 mm thick. Don't put flour on the top though or you'll have difficulty closing that thing depending on how much water you have used for preparing your dough.

Take a cup with sharper edges, or a cookie cutter, whatever is round. We have a traditional metal cup with engravings for that lmao. Start cutting out circles, they should fit nicely into your palm. Don't do this on all of the dough, just start with a third and then get the filling. If you try to do it one go you'll end up with dry dough disks bc if you havn't done it for years you'll be pretty slow. Ask me how I know.

No. Don't.

Anywayyyyy, take a small spoon, take a good bit of the filling and put it on one side or the center, whatever makes them easier to close for you. If you have difficulty with closing them up tightly take a fork and after putting the Psıhaluj on a surface you can press the end of the fork on the edges to close them up tightly.

Have smth like a big baking sheet or tray ready and put down a kitchen towel. You can put a bit flour on it if the dough has become sticky. They always magically do.

Once you're done with the first third of the dough, repeat the process for the remaining two thirds. All the while make sure to also process the remaining dough from cutting out the circles.

Once you're done it should look smth like this

Ok, by this point you should also have mysteriously found some time to fill a big pot with a lot water and get it to boil. Add salt as you see fit, and then drop in the Psihaluj, again maybe try with a third at first. They should have enough space to swim freely and once they start to float at the top wait maybe another one to two minutes before taking them out (the water should constantly be boiling, your kitchen is gonna look like one of those busy steamy kitchens in tiny back alley restaurants from the movies)

I like to put the finished Psıhaluj into one big casserole/baking dish. Also into that casserole form pour some of that butter garlic sauce on top everytime your done with a third and stir (or shake the entire thing, it's easier) to make sure all the haluj are covered in butter.

Once done with cooking them all and coating them in the sauce I usually put the thing in the middle of the set table and after everyone is seated I'll serve them onto the plates however much anyone likes, starting from the eldest bc I stick to customs. Everyone pours their own yoghurt on top and usually a bit more of the garlic butter to make it look pretty. If you hate wasting stuff, you can take the starchy water you cooked the haluj in, put in some of that dried dark basil and some lemon juice and serve it in a mug, a bit like soup. Not particularly special, but it’s not wasted.

Done. Eat. Be careful of eating too much, that stuff is FILLING. I blame the butter.

Sadly I can't provide you with a picture of the finished product I made myself however here is what i found online (some people like to put dried and crushed peppermint on there as well but that’s mostly non-adyghe people that have us as neighbours)

Additional info from our language, Psı means water, haluj means bread. We made water bread. Great.

Also, maybe be careful who you get close to after that meal, bc you are garlic, garlic is you.

[phoebehalliwell]

AU Chris is Paige and Richard’s son. What would his power be? What about Chris’ relationships with his parents?

chris being paige and richard’s son would like totally explain why he’s Like That actually that would be a great au so once again i’m gonna bring up my conspiracy theory that richard was dosed with the blood of some greater being as a baby by his parents in the hopes of making some superwitch but as we all know from dr curtis williamson of astral monkey fame receiving the blood of someone more powerful than u can create some disastrous consequences, which i believe is exactly what we see with richard and his fucked up relationship to magic given richards advanced powers (namely conjuration) and also the fact that the montana family probably didn't want it to be obvious that they y'know experimented on their kid imma say richard was somehow infused with avatar blood, seeing as they were basically unknown beings until s7, so no one would really be able to id his powers. i also think that explains how we saw richard get so insanely powerful towards the end like in i dream of phoebe he was even able to manifest a teleportation power through conjuration bc as we learned, avatars draw their power from a collective, so i’m positing that having a relationship with paige especially like y'know it's physical there's an intense emotional element that we see she even lives with him so like. it's a Relationship™. yeah that whole relationship only added to his own powers as paige sorta became his collective (i don't think this takes away from paige's powers at all more like if you shine a flashlight into a mirror it bounces back that light it's not taking away any light from the flashlight it's simply using what it was given to create more if that makes sense like in the abstract we don’t need to talk the physics of how light is reflected think of this in vague terms) so uh yeah that’s what’s up i think if richard did not have avatar blood he would just be a normal telekinetic which is a power we see him display at various points at just sort of a normal level couple that with the fact that paige is also a telekinetic and i think it is very safe to say that their child would have telekinesis i think telekinesis is the brown eyes of the magical world the dominant gene in the punnett square or whatever 7th grade was a long time ago i also think they are bound to some sort of teleportation power as both paige and richard can teleport i’d love to see it me some hybrid between fading and orbing as they are the first witchlightvatar i feel like they should have something wholly unique to show for it for another active power projection is an option as it is very close to conjuration while simultaneously being a power in the warren line but i wouldn’t want to give chris the same power as wyatt tho seeing as chris is a family name from leo’s side it wouldn’t quite make sense whenever i write about a paige/richard child i always call them bennie named after richard’s father which i think still works as chris is also named after his paternal grandfather but yeah the point i was making is having bennie travel through time and like exist in like this juxtaposition with wyatt idk i feel like it’s not as fun if they have the same power set so maybe i’ll take richards conjuring and modify it to match paige’s past life and say conjuring the elements? the entire montana family line seems to have energy balls as a power so like . that could add to that theory maybe. like the evil enchantress could conjuring lightning i think the avatars also had lightning powers but i think that was purely a leo addition and an elder power and paige has no ties to an elder status so. idk. i sorta like the conjuring the elements power i do think richard is the firstborn of his generation and paige is technically sam’s firstborn so i think they both get Legacy Points there and then bennie would go on to be the first born in the montana line so i think that could justify very op power like conjuring the elements i think that they would inherit some of richard’s mania to some degree i mean as we know there is a genetic component to addiction and both paige and richard have suffered from it but i think since the foreign blood is a) diluted and b) in a host with a greater power capacity (as we know, witches get stronger with every generation and adding a charmed one into the mix is definitely an added boost) i don’t think those genes would manifest themselves in the way they did with like richards obsession with magic however i think substance abuse and also probably and anxiety disorder are very much on the table if we’re talking bennie replaces chris as the one to come from the dark future quite frankly this kid’s gonna be more that a little fucked up bc lord knows nothing stable ever happened there i also think they wouldn’t be nearly as good of a liar as chris as i think they’re gonna have ten times more impulsivity i also think they wouldn’t tip toe around the truth so much like i know chris is really anxious about like negatively impacting the future i do not think bennie would give nearly as much of a shit like the future already sucks that’s why i’m here so Sit Down bc i have some Very Bad News for y’all i think like within the first ten episodes of season six bennie would have already made it very obvious that wyatt goes full dark no stars due to something that’s about to happen i do think they would wanna keep it under wraps about their specific lineage bc like they’re here to change a whole lot of things but i think they’d still like to exist at the end of the day but i do think that phoebe would find out and the news would spread i think in the light future without an evil wyatt bennie would not end up remotely as fucked up as they also probz wouldn’t be an orphan which i imagine is really likely in their dark future i think richard would strip his magic and live as a mortal but still teach bennie what he knows about magic and potion making bc like. he’s well verse. there are also a lot of montana traditions and secret recipes i think he would want to pass down but like not for one second i think richard would regret stripping his powers i think he would be making a potion with his kid and just be like yeah i’m so glad i’m not actually magical anymore this is just like making weird soup i’m not getting weird vibes and strange jolts of magic and funny voice in my head there’s no pressure to get it right if it’ll work or not i’m just here throwing ingredients in a cauldron w my kid : ) i also think richard would get like hella into tai chi or something very focused on medicine and alternative healing styles oh richard like paige was definitely also a pothead in high school but the point is bennie would be like very well versed in meditation and what’s it called not aromatherapy but like. apothecary? herbaltherapy? plantohealing? you know that thing people are into like teas and herbs that fuckin uhh help with colds and stuff basically like the non magical properties of the world in fact i think they’d be the most knowledgeable out of anyone from gen2 on like nonmagical uses for things like there are mortal ways to solve problems that can work just fine and i think yeah bennie does know richard’s past and the issues with magic i think that that’s something that personally scares them not enough to like not practice but like enough that they don’t ever like use magic for unnecessary purposes like they will Not be telekinetically closing the manor door shut at the end of the season they will be closing the door like a normal person that type of thing. in regards to a relationship with paige i think in the trying to fix the future part of this au bennie would get really close to paige bc like again paige probably was murdered in the dark future but i don’t think bennie would be like chris like she’s just gonna die so why get close i think bennie would really utilized the time that they do have to just like. be with their mom. i think paige would definitely be freaked to like be a mom bc she’s like woah i’m not that old and like have a 22 year old call you mom like definitely ages you but like i do think paige would see a lot of herself in her kid especially as this version of bennie like grew up really without parents and like this that and the other they’d also really remind paige of the kids she saw at social services and i do think paige would be very like mom-y around her kid like i would not describe paige as a motherly woman i would never call her the mom friend but like around bennie she like goes full mom like cuts crusts off sandwiches and everything mode (piper and phoebe find it fucking hilarious)

[fictional-worlds-are-exquisite]

i am very much enjoying my vague void! it's currently blasting hozier at full volume and that's almost louder than my internal screaming (don't worry, everything is fine, i just saw a spider)

i've never once in my life have followed a recipe correctly. all of my measurements are completely random and whatever happens happens. it is no longer in my hands. whatever eldritch entities exist take the wheel. and i absolutely refuse to spell anything in english without autocorrect because y'all have way too many double letters and random vowel placement

thank you! sadly, i won't have a break right now, because we just had christmas vacations, but the start of the new semester is always pretty chill. and you're absolutely right, i should take up necromancy! the snow and the cold will add to my mysterious vibes. i just need to get a big black cape with a hood to complete the aesthetic

i definitely picture everything above 5'6 feet as the same height. 5'7 and 6'2? the exact same thing. no difference here

how is morepork a real bird name. it's just... more pork? but the bird is magnificent. i completely approve of your first order as bird queen, not that you need approval from mere peasants like me, but it's a great order. ohhh salps look really cool, and it does look a lot like it! when you said boob implant i thought of mermaids and them using salps as boob implants but then i realised wait wouldn't jellyfish be better for that? because of their shape? ignoring their little leggies they're quite boob shaped, no? and then i realised that i was thinking about mermaids and alive boob implants... if i had to think it, you have to read it. i'm sorry

i was sold before but now i'm even more sure that i want to hire you. and I'll make sure to have lactose free cheese for the backflips (unless you want the lactose version? i'm not judging). will the biting of ankles cost extra?

that sounds like a brilliant set-up for a horror movie where they kill off all the children one by one. it's absolutely horrifying. if something like that would've happened to me i would've most likely just passed out. whatever happens afterwards is not my problem. and now i really don't want to know what the hell your leg was caught on because that seems like knowledge that would get me killed

ah so you're a fellow dirt eater? according to my mom my favourite thing to do outside when i was a little kid used to be eating sand. just shovelling handfuls of it into my mouth and crying when my mom made me spit it out. which i refuse to believe. if there are no photos it didn't happen

you warm climate people are starting to make me think that i'm better adjusted to the cold than i thought i am! it's either that or our buildings are better heated. i definitely don't know if anyone else calls hot water bottled hotties but i like it so from now on i'm using it

that's so cute! i was clearly a way more selfish child because when i found any amount of money i just kept it and bought candy as soon as i could. i clearly couldn't save money then and i can't now. we have stores like that (or i'm assuming that they're like that solely based on how they sell lollies) and they used to be my favourite thing because you could get so many lollies for such a small price!! and my mom even used to let me order for myself sometimes so i always felt like a very big girl jsjshsbsjk

also the fact that i can't send pictures on anon is a crime (yes i know why and it's good that that's not possible because can you imagine anons being able to send pictures? oh no is all i have to say about it) but anyways. because i have this one super cursed photo that reminded me of you and now i can't share it :((

duuuuude, sick void bro. sounds like a vibing void. I feel like I haven’t seen a spider in awhile. Other than daddy long legs. But they’re chill. They mind their own business. 

I nearly always follow recipes exactly. My mum is like oh cook this for about 7 minutes? Yeah sure. I’ll take a wild guess. I’m like they say exactly 7 minutes so I’ll set a timer for 7 minutes and start a stopwatch so if it does seem to need more than 7 I can keep an eye on the extra time and be aware of exactly how long it takes me for next time. Other people are like oh let's see I have [lists 5-10 things in their fridge], hmm...oh I know what I could make with that! I’m like I have beans in my freezer because one recipe required them and no other recipes I know how to make do so what am I supposed to do with these now,,, this is stressful,,, basically I barely know how to cook and recipes are the only things saving me in that area. That is entirely fair. Except for the fuck duck, and murder is not the word you want surely, situations, it’s pretty helpful.

Ohhh I see. At least the start is chill! For a little! Before your entire situation spirals out of hand and you’re behind in every class and it’s taken you a whole day to read 10 pages and you’re exhausted and it’s only week 2. Just me? ok. fair. anyway. I want a cloak so bad. One of my uni friends tempted me to class because she said she was wearing a cloak so my depressed ass honest to god dragged myself out of bed and to said class just to see it. It was worth it. They’re incredible. Everyone should own a big cloak for the aesthetic.

I’m glad it isn’t just me hahaha. I can visualise my own height in feet but everything else is just the same size that is a vague amount taller than me, mentally.

It’s also known as the ruru. But the name morepork amuses me. It’s named after the call it makes haha. It does sound like it’s asking for more pork if you know to listen for that. thank u for ur approval, it means a lot, turns out becoming bird queen didn’t ACTUALLY get rid of my anxiety disorder weirdly enough so validation is great! lmaooo. What if the jellyfish stung them tho? At least salps wouldn’t do you dirty like that. The mermaids would just look like there are hundreds of bugs crawling around in their boobs, flesh shifting as they float around. Which is a vibe. If you’re into that. Jellyfish WOULD make a more solid, single, implant, some of them are definitely boob shaped. But that’s kinda boring no one’s gonna be traumatised by that. Salps on the other hand...yeah, that sight will DEFINITELY traumatise someone.

To be PERFECTLY honest I haven’t done a backflip in years but for lactose-free cheese? Dude. I’ll be going back to training. Gonna be the best backflip you’ve ever seen. As long as it’s not Tasty cheese I am content, but lactose free IS better. The biting of ankles will not cost extra, it is a pleasure to be allowed to do that.

Oh it absolutely would be. It’d be very funny if it reached the wider world bc people would probably be like ok but who would send kids into the bush like that,, it’s an odd concept. meanwhile everyone who grew up in nz is gonna be like y’all, you’re not gonna fuckin BELIEVE what i experienced growing up, it’s real dude. On one hand, I feel like murdering kids in a movie is questionable, on the other hand, It exists, so maybe people would be down for it. I feel like it’d be a good concept even if it wasn’t murdery tho. Like psychological horror? I’m not sure if I’m using that category correctly I don’t watch much horror. A kid following the rope but then being shifted into a different horror dimension but they never take the blindfold off because their teachers said not to and they’d probably have to let go of the rope to do it...I feel like this could work super well as a short film. The viewers see everything. The child just knows something is off and no one is coming when they call for help. I am so down for this. I also do not want to know what my leg was caught on. Some things I am better off not knowing.

yes! I am a fellow dirt eater! We had a sandpit at home (that’s a little bold. It was a large plastic shell that my parents filled with sand. technically a sandpit. but not fancy sdflsdkfsdf) but I don’t think I ever tried to eat it. Then again, I possibly did and just don’t remember because there’s no photo evidence of that one. I’d have to ask my parents sdfhsjdfs, I would however fully believe them if they said yes. it’s very characteristic of me. I don’t doubt it for a second. muuuum that’s my emotional support sand don’t make me spit it out smh the disrespect these days.

Oh I’m absolutely terrible even by most people’s standards around here when it comes to cold and hot temperatures. I remember sitting in the sun in my school shirt and school jersey in summer on a blazing day like it’s a bit chilly, isn’t it? Meanwhile my friends were in the shade absolutely dying from the heat. Likewise in winter I’d be shivering, teeth chattering, dying with my long sleeve thermal, my school shirt, my school jersey, my school jacket, my longs, warm socks and sneakers and gloves and school scarf while ppl would be walking around in a shirt and shorts like it’s a bit warm this winter huh? my body didn’t learn how to thermoregulate and it shows. But yeah NZ does also have a reputation for shittily insulated buildings and such. It shows. skhdfsfs if it’s not common use maybe don’t say can i have a hotty to someone without context but otherwise go ahead lmao. it’s a fun shortened version.

I was typically a very good saver, to the point where my extended family started gifting me gift cards and vouchers for Christmas and my birthday because if they just gave me money I’d put it in my bank account to save towards uni once I hit like, 12 years old. Which I think was a smart move. But apparently, I’m supposed to buy myself ‘something nice’ with it. I think I’m still an okay saver but I’m not as strict anymore. I’m aware of how much I can spare and I’m not just like you can never get anything for yourself ever, so I do get lil things for myself sometimes. oooo yay! At least you know what I mean. But yes. They were the gold mine for lollies. Absolutely terrific stores. My mum would be like hey lindsey how about you order? And I’d be like mother, I am 7 years old and I have an undiagnosed anxiety disorder everyone assumes is child shyness why would you think I would want to do that. Instead I will whisper my choices to you. After therapy tho I felt pretty rad for picking my own lollies by myself. I was like 13 at that point but sdfkjhsdf listen I got there in the end.

sdfkjsdfkjhsdf I like that a cursed photo reminded you of me. That’s all I need to hear. Tumblr said no anon dick pics but they also said no anon cursed photos either,,, very sad. for the latter part. the first part thank god. If I could turn on photos on anon I absolutely would just to see this but I don’t think I can :(

[letswritefanfiction]

Pink Macarons

A Pokemon oneshot. Also can be read on ffnet here.

Summary: Who needs a man on Valentine’s Day? After the events of XYZ, Serena and her friends try out the new livestreaming feature on Pokévision, whilst trying to make the most of a difficult holiday by baking and hanging out together. Onesided Amour and onesided PoffleShipping.

“I can’t figure out how to do it!” Serena moaned as she fiddled with the equipment setup. “I don’t know if it’s the laptop or the camera!”

“Let Shauna do it,” Miette said. “She’s the only one of us to have used the new livestream feature before. We need you with food prep anyway.”

Food prep, at this point, was mostly done, thanks to the work Serena had done earlier. Every counter in the Pokémon Center kitchen was covered in all the ingredients needed for baking: sugar, moo moo butter, flour, and lots and lots of berries. Every spot that wasn’t had equipment like mixers and bowls.

“Yeah, I don’t remember how to cut the Qualot Berry so that it looks pretty,” Nini said, struggling with a paring knife.

Serena gratefully abandoned the filming setup to help Nini as Shauna, wiping her hands on her apron, took her place.

“If you can’t do that, you can always just cover it in chocolate and call it a day,” Serena said as she demonstrated, leaving a perfectly carved rose. “And remember to save these little bits for your Pokémon! Nobody likes waste.”

There was a little scrap pile going of edible berry bits that Serena was going to give to Pancham later. Delphox was the only one of her Pokémon out at the moment as Pancham couldn’t be trusted during the cooking process and Sylveon would likely be jumpy around this lively group of girls. Not to mention that with four girls in the room, space was already limited.

“Okay, save the little gems of wisdom for when we’re actually on the air,” Miette said sarcastically as she managed to sculpt a berry rose just as Serena had.

“I’ve got it!” Shauna exclaimed as she stepped away from the laptop.

“Wait, we’re live now?” Serena squeaked.

“Yep!” Shauna waved into the camera. “Hi, Serena’s audience! Happy Galentine’s Day!”

“No, no, I have to introduce—excuse me, Nini—us and what we’re doing!”

Serena scooted past Nini, placing the paring knife on the kitchen island behind her as she scrambled to join Shauna in front of the camera.

“Hi, I’m Serena! And this is my partner Delphox,” Serena said, gesturing in the background to where Delphox was washing the last of the berries. “And today—”

“On Galentine’s Day,” Shauna inserted.

“On Valentine’s Day, I have a special treat for you! My first ever livestream! And my friends Shauna, Miette, and Nini are all here to help me out. Their socials are in the information tab below—and they’re all great Pokémon Performers, so you should follow them if you don’t already. Thanks to everyone who saw my post on Fletchat today and is tuning in! Today, we have a Q and A planned where you can ask me and my friends questions while we bake for Valentine’s Day!”

Miette gave Serena a sympathetic look. “Serena, you’re talking really fast. Seems like you’re nervous.”

Serena gave the camera a big, cheesy smile and said with the utmost confidence: “I am!”

Miette shook her head and went back to working with the berries.

“I’ll be doing most of the moderating,” Shauna said, coming back in front of the camera, “so let me see those questions! Oh, here’s one. What are we baking, gals?���

“Everything,” Miette said.

“We’re making Poké Puffs and macarons,” Serena answered, ignoring Miette. “And we’ll be giving tips throughout the broadcast for those at home who are interested!”

“And for us,” Nini added. “Serena’s a much better pâtissière than we are.”

“Oh, you guys, I don’t know about that!” Serena said, trying to fight off her blush. “Anyway, for Valentine’s Day, we’re making everything pink and romantic. So that means heart-shaped macarons and beautifully decorated Poké Puffs.”

“Del phox del!”

“Oh, and we’ll be doing some taste tests too.”

“Serena, why don’t you let them know what we’re working on right now?”

“Good idea, Shauna! So, Miette and Nini are working on sculpting some fruit to make pretty toppings for the Poké Puffs—if you want a video on that, I can make one—and I have our macaron batter here! Delphox, can you hand me the Persim Berries and the pink towel?”

“Delphox!”

“If you want to use food dye to color your batter, you can, but I prefer to use more natural ingredients,” Serena explained as she took the items from Delphox. “If you put Persim Berries in bright sunlight, even after being picked, they become very rich in color. Then you can put them in a towel like this, and wring them out to get a very bright juice!”

Serena demonstrated putting a few berries in the cloth and twisting it. Dark pink juice bled from the towel and into the bowl that the berries had been in, and Serena showed it to the camera before pouring it into the white macaron batter.

“Persim Berries don’t have a lot of flavor,” Nini added. “So you don’t have to worry about your food tasting weird when you use it.”

“Very true, Nini. With macarons, all you have to worry about is that you don’t water down the texture too much, so start with a little bit. And you can always reduce the juice on the stove so that it’s more potent. Just make sure it cools down all the way first, because you don’t want to deflate your egg whites!”

As Serena folded the batter, Shauna was scrolling through comments on Pokévision and Fletchat, looking for questions.

“Aw, this is sweet,” Shauna cooed. “How can four lovely girls such as yourselves be without dates on Valentine’s Day? I’d take any of you out. Thank you so much!”

“Well, now seems like a nice time for a reminder that not everyone is alone on Valentine’s Day because they failed to get a date,” Nini said. “Some of us either don’t want a date today or maybe don’t want a date ever.”

“Yeah, I’m sure that’s the case for all of us,” Miette drawled. “Right, Serena?”

“Hmm?” Serena asked, a blush rising to her face as she reached for a piping bag. “Um, sure. Everyone’s different.”

Serena knew that Miette was just trying to get a rise of her—like always. She should have expected that live TV wouldn’t make her behave any differently. But Serena had a job to do here, and Miette’s antics weren’t going to steer her off-course.

“So when your batter is this consistency just scoop it into your piping bag and make sure you have a sheet tray ready,” Serena said, steering the conversation back to what she was doing.

“Ooh, Shauna, you’re not reading out the good stuff,” Miette said, leaning over Shauna’s shoulder to read the live feed. “LuvdiscLuver—very Valentinesy name, I approve—wants to know if there’s anyone Serena wishes she were out with tonight.”

“Hahahaha,” Serena barked, the laugh coming out completely unnatural. “I, uh, I love my girls, so I couldn’t be happier here baking with them.”

“Lies!” Miette got her face close up to the camera and pointing accusingly at Serena. “There is definitely someone Serena would rather be with, and I know who it is.”

Shauna shook her head at Miette and Nini, poked her on the shoulder. “It’s not your business to talk about that,” she whispered.

“Ooh, the comments are really coming in now!” Shauna said, scanning as the comments went flying by. “Everyone wants to know your crush, Serena!”

“Are you sure they don’t want to know how to shape macarons into hearts?” Serena asked, tilting the camera down so that the people could see what was happening on her sheet tray—rather than the boiling blush on her face. “If some of them don’t turn out perfect, just make sure to put that one on the bottom of your finished product!”

“Okay, Serena doesn’t have to tell you all that,” Shauna said, crouching down to get into the camera’s frame. “But to get back at Miette, I’ll tell you that she has a crush on the same person Serena does!”

Shauna gasped dramatically, putting a hand in front of her mouth as she looked at Miette and scurried out of frame.

Miette grabbed the camera and jerked it back up so it was right at eye-level. “Yep, that’s the truth; thanks, Shauna. One thing you all don’t know about Serena—she has great taste in guys. So of course I like the same one.”

Serena looked down at her macarons. They were hardly the best ones she’d ever done—most of them would qualify as bottom-halves, if that were possible. She could only hope that all the distractions hadn’t messed up the recipe. Macarons required such a specific finish, it would be obvious immediately if something went wrong.

At least Delphox was keeping things on track. She’d already rinsed out the bowl that the batter had been in and was reaching to do the same with the pastry bag.

“Okay,” Serena said. “I’m just going to slip these in the oven and then we can move on to our PokéPuff batter! Girls?”

Serena was going for a neutral vanilla base with pink sprinkles and a custard-like sour Colbur Berry topping. Then the girls would make them almost look like fruit tarts, putting the beautifully cut berries on top. All four of the girls knew how to make PokéPuffs by heart, and were able to get together the ingredients for this particular version of Serena’s with machine-like precision. Serena was weighing the dry ingredients, Miette measuring the wet, and Nini was juicing the Colbur berries.

“Wow, you guys are getting a lot of questions,” Shauna mused as she grated a little bit of the pink flesh of the spiky berries to add a bit of Valentine’s pink to the PokéPuffs.

“I have a link to my blog post about this recipe in the description,” Serena said. She’d written the post up that day and used pictures from her practice batches. If Pokémon Performing didn’t go her way, she could always be a food blogger.

“No, not about that—though you girls are doing great,” Shauna said absently as the wet and dry ingredients were combined. “No, people want to know how you two can stay friends when you have a crush on the same boy.”

Serena—whose face had finally returned to its even, beige complexion—could feel herself flushing again. When she’d said she wanted the livestream to be pink-themed, she hadn’t thought her face would be a part of it. Though, she was sure that Miette would use it as an excuse for her behavior.

“Well, it’s not serious for me,” Miette said, answering first since Serena had taken over the batter and Nini was handling the topping. “I mean, I like this guy. He’s cute, kind, and skilled. He ticks the boxes, you know? But I don’t honestly know him that well. I can recognize that and know that my feelings for my friend, Serena, are more important than a little crush on some guy.”

Serena looked up from where she’d been staring intently at the batter that she, frankly, was beginning to over-mix now that she’d put the sprinkles in. She blinked at Miette, surprised to hear such a mature response.

“Here, lemme take that,” Miette said, grabbing the bowl from Serena and beginning to dole the mixture out into a greased cupcake tin. That left Serena on screen with Nini mixing away in the background.

“Um, well, it’s different for me,” Serena started nervously. She couldn’t forget the fact that she wasn’t just in a room with her four friends and her Pokémon. There were thousands of concurrent viewers right now, watching as she floundered for the perfect words. “You could say…it’s more serious for me. I know this guy really well and I’ve liked him for a long time. But like Miette said, that’s different from our friendship. I mean, she teases me about it, and maybe it seems like she doesn’t care, but I trust her enough to know that she wouldn’t betray me or do something that would really hurt me.”

“What would you do if one of you were to start dating this mystery guy, someone wants to know?” Shauna asked.

“I’d get over it,” Miette said, popping her head back in frame as she finished up with the PokéPuffs. “Always more Goldeen in the sea.”

“Serena?” Shauna prompted.

“I haven’t really thought about it,” Serena said honestly. “Realistically, I mean. Because, in reality, I don’t think he’s ready to date either of us. Or anyone. I mean, maybe I tell myself that just because he didn’t show much interest in me, even after the signs I gave him.”

Serena avoided eye contact with the girls. She still hadn’t told any of them about their one kiss. Knowing Ash, he could have missed all the smaller signs she’d given him…but she didn’t believe even he could mistake what that kiss had meant for her.

“I don’t believe that,” Shauna said, jumping in next to Serena. “Look, we all know this guy. And, for all his good points, which Miette pointed out, I think we can all agree that he’s not boyfriend material quite yet. He’s not ready. Right, Nini?”

Nini looked up. “Um…let’s just say he’s the type you have to be patient with.”

“And I’m not that patient,” Miette said. “So in the event that Serena and what’s-his-face end up together, I’m going to give her a big congratulations. You win.”

Just then, the timer for the macarons went off and Serena scrambled to turn it off, not wanting the sound to be too irritating on the livestream.

“How are they looking, Delphox?” she asked.

“Del, del!”

Delphox reached in and pulled out the sheet tray, and Serena could see the perfect feet that the macarons had formed. They might not be shaped impeccably, but at least they’d cooked well.

“That’s perfect,” Nini, said. “Now we can put in the PokéPuffs!”

Nini did just that as Delphox set out the macaron halves to cool and Serena started on the buttercream filling, able to do it completely by muscle memory.

“Aw, Serena, look at this comment,” Shauna said. “It says: Don’t worry, Serena. Relationships are all about timing. This guy might be the guy for you, or Miette, in parenthesis, but today wasn’t the day. Maybe tomorrow or next Valentine’s Day.”

“That’s so nice,” Serena said, touched to find that her fans were such lovely people. “I’d be lying if I didn’t say I hope you’re right.”

Delphox had been fanning a sheet pan over the macarons, quickening their cool-down process. Miette touched one of the cookies and declared, “I think they’re cool enough to pipe now!”

Serena had just started scooping the buttercream into a fresh piping bag when Shauna came over and bumped her on the hip. “I’ll do this part, Serena. You should read what people are saying to you for a minute. They’re your fans!”

Since this was Serena’s first livestream, she was surprised to see how quickly the chat was flying by. It was hard to grab onto any one thing to respond to, but it was touching to see how many people were watching and cared enough to write in. There were messages about the food, people saying they were fans of the other girls, and lots of people grateful for the stream, as they didn’t have any Valentines plans themselves. They didn’t feel so lonely, because they felt a kinship with Serena and her friends.

Serena couldn’t help but think of Valentine’s Days passed as she imagined all the people at home watching her stream. Last Valentine’s Day, Serena had been traveling with Ash, Clemont, and Bonnie. It had been lovely to be with Ash, of course, though it wasn’t exactly in the way she might have hoped. And every year before that, she’d been alone with her mother, wishing that she was with Ash, or someday would be. Funny how when she finally was, it ended up being so different from her imagination.

Really, it felt like her first real Valentine’s Day was this one. Even if she didn’t have a date, this was the first time she was doing anything to celebrate. And everyone at home was celebrating along with her.

“You know what, I want to answer that first question honestly,” Serena declared suddenly.

“Which one?” Shauna asked

“The first one Miette asked—”

“Geez, that was, like, half an hour ago!”

“Regardless,” Serena said. “The one about who I wish I was with tonight. The truth is that I feel a bit sad that I’m not with the guy I have a crush on. I feel a bit lonely, like I’m seeing a lot of you at home feel. But you know what? I think I would probably feel a bit lonely if I were on a dream date with him too. I think that’s just something that people feel. But what I said before was the truth too: I couldn’t be happier to be with my gal pals tonight, enjoying Galentine’s Day.”

Shauna grinned. “Yeah! Galentine’s Day!”

“Or Palentine’s or whatever it is for you,” Serena continued. “Any day that reminds us of our connections with other people, and Pokémon,” Serena added, sparing a look at Delphox, “and encourages us to spend time with them is a good day. But it’s just what you make of it.”

“And we,” Nini said, bringing the finished macarons into the picture, “are making the finest desserts in Kalos tonight.”

“Oh, I don’t know about that,” Serena started, only to be cut off by Miette plopping one in her mouth.

“No, she’s right. Fuck, Serena, these are amazing!”

“Miette!” Serena exclaimed. “You can’t say that!”

Miette wiped a bit of frosting off the corner of her mouth and winked at the camera. “Oops.”

“Seriously, Miette, they could strike my channel!”

“Nothing to be done now!”

“Okay!” Shauna said, pushing in front of the other girls. “I think that’s the end of our stream! Thanks to Serena for hosting all of us, and make sure you check out everyone’s links in the description below. Sorry you all couldn’t see us assemble the PokéPuffs, but rest assured that we will, and then we’ll eat all of them until the only pain we have is in our stomachs. Everyone, have a fantastic Galentine’s Day and we’ll see you all next time! Bye!”

Only Nini managed to join in waving to the camera before Shauna ended the broadcast with a sigh.

“Well, that’s that.”

“Why did you end the broadcast there?” Serena asked. “Shouldn’t I have said something to everyone? What if there were more comments we needed to respond to?”

“Sorry, I just figured we’d better end things before Miette decided to say anything else.”

“I really am sorry, Serena,” Miette said, in a tone that made it difficult for Serena to tell if she was being truthful or not. “These are just some really effing good macarons. For real.”

“If that’s the case…” Nini reached over and grabbed one, giving it a once over. Despite the uneven heart shape, the cookie had the same coloring all the way through, looking perfectly cooked all the way around. When she popped it into her mouth, she couldn’t help but moan. “Oh yeah. We’re definitely gonna eat these until our stomachs hurt.”

Serena was unable to hide a grin as any irritation she felt towards Miette or Shauna evaporated. She just loved feeding people good food.

“Just you wait until the PokéPuffs are ready,” Serena said, pulling out a berry that looked like a large lima bean. “I got us some Micle berries. They’re pretty rare, but they have this incredible flavor that makes your mouth just pucker like when you’re drinking a dry wine. Squeezing just a bit of them on top of my PokéPuffs is my secret weapon.”

“God, how can you be making me hungry while I’m already eating?” Shauna asked, digging into the macarons as well.

“Ugh, why aren’t they ready yet?” Nini complained.

Serena shrugged. “Guess we’ll just have to spend all day together.”

The girls looked at each other, smiling. Yeah, maybe it would have been nice to be in a nice romantic restaurant across from Ash, holding hands and eating expensive food. But beyond that possibility, Serena was so thankful for the reality of her best girl friends here with her on this February fourteenth, doing something they all loved, together.

That was really a happy Valentine’s day.

FIN

[grimelords]

My August playlist is finished and while it does unfortunately begin with Tool it also has two of Elvis’ gospel songs on it so please believe me when I say it takes a turn! Everything you could ever want over three hours of music from 70s christian hippie cult music to a funky remix of Also Sprach Zarathustra to Ante Up.

If you’re interested in getting these emailed to you instead of having them mysteriously appear and clog up your dash, I’ve started a tinyletter you can subscrine to at tinyletter.com/grimelords

but in the meantime,

listen here

Lateralus - Tool: Tool is on streaming now and they've got a new album out and so it's a very nice time to reinterrogate a band that meant a lot to teenaged me that i have almost completely exorcised from my life since. What's interesting firstly is how much better it is to consume their music digitally than it ever was in any physical format. They apparently resisted making it available for so long for nebulous reasons of artistic control and intention, wanting a say in how their music is listened to - they design these long and overwrought albums to be experienced as a whole. My contention is that as a whole album, start-to-finish, is one of the worst ways to listen to this band. Tool have maybe 12 great songs across four albums and every single album is around 70-80 minutes, pushing the limit of the CD. Which means for every great song there's at least two ambient interludes, Bill Hicks samples, 90s alt comedy bits (Die Eir Von Satan is just menacing music and a menacing voice reading out a weed cookie recipe in german, now that's what I call comedy) that really add nothing to the experience of the album on a casual listen. Being actually able to listen to these songs on their own, and playlist them and pull them apart from the mire is so refreshing and makes experiencing this extremely exhausting band actually pleasant for once. That's not to say ambient interludes and sketches and whatever aren't worth it, I absolutely love that shit and a lot of my favourite albums are absolutely chock full of that sort of thing - just like, don't make me do it every time. Their new album seems to reflect this at least a little bit, with the more overarching themes and arcs of the previous albums replaced by more singular and self-contained long songs interspersed with dedicated 2 minute interlude tracks. The runtime blows out to an hour and a half unrestrained by physical limits but it seems to contain more actual music and less funny than any other Tool album which is a welcome change. I'm still lukewarm on the album itself, it seems to just be a complete rehashing of the ideas on 10,000 Days (to the point of almost note-for-note repetition of some old riffs and themes) which is a bit disappointing considering how long they've apparently been working on it. I'll give it more time because Tool albums always unfold over multiple listens but for now they kind of just sound like the dad-rock version of a once extremely edgy 90s band - which I guess they are now so that makes sense. As for Lateralus, I think it's their best song. The perfect combination of Joe Rogan spirit science woo-woo sacred geometry fibonacci sequence 'open your mind' bullshit and good old fashioned riffs, it's the best of both halves of Tool and great starting point if you've never listened to this band and are interested in becoming insufferable.

Mars For The Rich - King Gizzard And The Lizard Wizard: This album is so good and it's finally converted me to being a full time King Gizz guy so look out for a lot more of that in the future. It's a thrash metal concept album about ecological collapse forcing the rich to flee to mars and the poor to flee to venus where they lose their minds and fly into the fire. I spent a little while the other day obsessing over the insane vocal leap in this absolutely incredible song when he jumps down an 11th on 'mars for the riiiiiiich' somehow effortlessly.

Pattern Walks - Cloud Nothings: The interplay between Cloud Nothings second and third albums is something I think about a lot. Attack On Memory is a visceral experience of depression and living in your own head where Here And Nowhere Else is about being able to finally move past it, and living with it. There's a good quote from the singer on the Genius page for this song where he says "It was almost a response to “Wasted Days” on the last record. It ends with “I thought I would be more than this” over and over and this one ends with “I thought” over a beautiful bit of music which is an easy way to explain the way I was thinking when I was writing this record. I wasn’t as depressed as I was when I was making the last album. Before, I felt like nobody liked the band and I was doing it for three years. I was not in a good place. Now, I had more time to think about why I felt that way. It’s a positive song."

M.E. - Metz: Metz put out a B-sides and rarities album a couple of weeks ago and then they put out this Gary Numan cover on it's own for some reason. It's very very good! I love just putting a generally harder edge on it without taking anything away from the spirit of the original. I also, somehow, didn't realise that Where's Your Head At by Basement Jaxx was a Gary Numan sample until I heard this cover so we're all learning every day.

The Ocean And The  Sun - The Sound Of Animals Fighting: Here's what's good: having the last third of your song just be a monotone voice reading from a CrimethInc anarchist zine over swirling guitar ambience. The drums are so good in this, Chris Tsagakis makes me want to muscle through the ska and listen to RX Bandits more, he’s just that good. The extremely crunchy part in the chorus especially, it switches through like three different distortions and sounds absolutely great. I’m a big fan of anyone that can make a very straightforward groove like the main one here really work just by absolutely leaning into it.

Uzbekistan - The Sound Of Animals Fighting: Uzbekistan is the most out-there and wild song on this album which was sort of mostly a way back into post-hardcore for TSOAF after Lover, The Lord Has Left Us.. which was perhaps a little too-out there for most. (seven minute closing track of a guy singing John Cage's Experimental Music essay over formless tabla and mandolin). The drums alone in this are worth it. The way they transition in and out of the super distorted electronic parts is so good. This song fortunately also has a section where someone recites poetry over electronic noise and a second voice whispers 'who holds your strings? wake up..." over the top near the end. I will love and defend dum-dum pretentious music until the day I die.

Gangsta - Tune-Yards: I love Tune-Yards and I'm incredibly interested in the way she interrogates whiteness. It's a complicated thing to get into in this playlist post but when she first turned up, a lot of people assumed she was african american just by the sound of her voice and music - it reaches and pulls from a lot of african music in a very postmodern sort of way and when people found out she was white, straight, cis and from New England it kind of felt like a betrayal for some people. On her 2018 album I Can Feel You Creep Into My Private Life she digs into it a lot in a way that becomes almost uncomfortable for what is ostensibly a pop album. An NPR article about it at the time said "Ever the student, the Smith-educated Garbus, who writes most of Tune-Yards' lyrics, designed an anti-racist curriculum for herself. She attended a six-month anti-racist workshop at the East Bay Meditation Center. She read the work of noted anti-racist educator Tim Wise and explored the activism of Standing Up for Racial Justice, a nationwide, progressive activism network dedicated to "moving white people to act as part of a multi-racial majority.". That's a lot. This song, Gangsta, from her 2011 album when all the hype was fresh feels like a pretty early look into the mindset she'd later fully fledge out of interrogating white identity and cultural appropriation while also participating in it. The lyrics are simple but they get to a simple point, "What's a boy to do if he'll never be a rasta?" is basically making the same point as Ras Trent by The Lonely Island except it's asking where else does Ras Trent fit? Can a white guy participate in anything like that in a way that's not cultural appropriation, and how can a culture like that participate in the larger world without being appropriated? It's 2013 tumblr discourse but it's still churning for a reason I suppose.

Ante Up (feat. Busta Rhymes, Teflon & Remi Martin) - M.O.P: An all time great Violence Song, in the same genre as Knuck If Ya Buck and X Gon Give It To Ya. Opening with "'this shit feel like a whole entire world collapsed" is such an insane way to open a song but the absolute whirlwind of threats that follows makes it feel warranted. "Fuck hip-hop, rip pockets, snatch jewels" is sooo good. I don't even care about this song I am just straight up robbing you. The absolute power in the rhythm of the overlapping getemGETEMgetem hitemHITEMhitem part is just so, so strong. It's like a VR experience of being fucking robbed.

Awake (feat. JPEGMAFIA) - Tkay Maidza: It seems like Tkay is finally nailing down her sound and she’s absolutely killing it. She’s been through a few different styles since she started out and now she’s really hit on something that’s very distinctly her with this and her other new song Flexin and I cannot wait for the album.

Big Head - Ms. Jade: Ms Jade had one album in 2002 and then basically disappeared which is a shame because she's got a very interesting approach. The star of the show is as usual, Timbaland. The man is a singular voice somehow making the tabla and a wikiwiki noise his signature sound. I love the drone of the raps interspersed with the vocal spikes and I love the chorus as the gospel vocals surge up from underneath. This whole song is just completely bizzare in its construction in a way that works perfectly and feels strangely.

Titanium 2 Step - Battles: Battles are finally back and I’m fucking bouncing off the walls. They’re a two piece now and it does not seem to have slowed them down at all which is very exciting. I can’t think of any band that has ever continued with only half of their original members and also moved forward radically every time. Everything about this song is great: the super strength drums, the hypercolour guitar and the vocals that are just screaming absolutely whatever you like whenever you like. It feels closest to Ice Cream, and Gloss Drop in general more than La Di Da Di but i’m so excited to see how the new album sounds - and how they adapt their old material live now that there’s only two of them.

Dancing Is The Best Revenge - !!!: I’ve never actively listened to !!! for no good reason, but plenty of times in my life I’ve heard a song playing and been like damn what the FUCK is THIS?! and it always turns out to be !!!. This is yet another example.

Skitzo Dancer (Justice Remix) - Scenario Rock: The first clap in this is one of the best sounds ever. Right after 'so you think you've seen and heard it all' everything drops out of the mix for this one very comedy clap and it makes me smile every time. The rhythm of the Disco!... Disco! Disco! part near the end is one of those things that's just always playing in the back of my mind, which as far as constant reminders go it's not the worst. I've also over the last week or so been a big fan of this 11 year old youtube video I found of some guy covering the bass on this song. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G0DLAUaV3f8

16:56 - Danger: Danger had a new album this year that I don't think I gave enough attention to because I relistened and it's very good. He spends the majority of it refining his original sound but it's such a distinct and original niche that it works out great. The songs are so densely layered and frankly just sound so beautiful! Which is a strange thing to say about 80s inspired electro but it just does. The strings and timpani in this about halfway through are just a gift as well, I love it.

Also Sprach Zarathustra - Deodato: As part of my ‘thinking about Elvis’ I was looking up a live album of his called Aloha From Hawaii Via Sattelite which has a very good cover which doubles as an illustration of how my proposed international peacekeeping satellite will function, projecting an immense Elvis themed blanket of darkness over ‘troublemaker’ regions to immerse them in an eternal freezing night until they’ve settled down. Anyway his entrance music for this this concert in Hawaii is Also Sprach Zarathustra, which is a very very funny thing to do and I think gives an appropriate measure of his status at the time. When I told my girlfriend about this she directed me to this bonkers jazz funk version of it by Deodato which deservingly won a grammy in 1974 for Best Pop Instrumental Performance.

Hollywood Forever Cemetary Sings - Father John Misty: I’ve resisted listening to Father John Misty for a long time because he just seems like a real asshole. A big brain man genius that saw what Lana Del Rey was doing and thought “what if.. me?”. But I can’t deny this song, it’s absolutely magical and as far as songs about fucking in a cemetery go it’s definitely one of the most singable.

Remember / Medicine Man - Yma Sumac: In reading about the Hollywood Forever Cemetery and who was buried there, I learned about Yma Sumac. Yma Sumac was a Peruvian soprano with one of the most incredible voices I've ever heard who was an absolutely huge deal in the 50s when Americans were clamouring for the exotic, real or imagined. She made extremely good mambo music and claimed to be descended from the last Incan emperor. Her popularity faded after the 50s and then for an unknown reson in 1971, ten years since her last album, she made this rock album. It is insane. It's the best example of 'voice as an instrument' that I've ever heard. She is making every kind of sound possible with a human voice and her range seems completely limitless. She's just as comfortable in a piercingly high whistle register as she is in deep guttural growls. About 2 minutes into Remember she just straight up jumps four octaves in a row just to flex. She also sings in a way in the second verse of Medicine Man that I've never heard before that sounds like she's blowing out her cheeks and then singing with her mouth almost closed. It's absolutey bizzare and I love it so much.

This Thing - King Gizzard And The Lizard Wizard: Listening to the other album that King Gizzard put out this year is really making me appreciate how much of 180 Infest The Rats Nest was for them. This album is basically a Black Keys album of groovy fun songs about fishing for fishies with fantastic harmonica work and it makes it look even more like they just snapped when they did the next one.

The Warrior (feat. Patty Smyth) - Scandal: I've been very passively watching GLOW since the second half of season 2 and now I'm very passively watching season 3 and this song was the opening credits theme for the first episode. It fucking rocks I don't know why they don't just make it the theme song all the time. This sort of 80s hard-rock pop is very good when it's good and extremely bad when it's bad and I wonder if we'll ever see any sort of revival of it once 80s nostalgia nostalgia takes hold in 2030. Being a singer named Patty Smyth is very funny also. She's billed as a feature even though she was in the band because she left to try a solo career as soon as it was released, possibly even before. She is also John McEnroe's wife I just found out. What a life.

A Girl Called Johnny - The Waterboys: I found this song because I was googling to see if it's possibly to get a random album from spotify and instead foumd a guy on rateyourmusic who was generating random rym album pages and then listening to whatever came up if it was on spotify - which seems just as good. This was one of the albums he talked about and he seemed to like it so I listened and I did as well. Sometimes the best way to find new music is throw dice on the internet and see what comes up.

New Year's Eve - City Calm Down: The new City Calm Down is one hundred percent great and I have such admiration for them for making a complete left turn with their sound and sounding like a completely different band since their last album but being equally as great in both forms. It's very inspiring and it's also the second song of the month I've heard for the first time while walking around Richmond that's mentioned Richmond. Very spooky.

Cruel Summer - Taylor Swift: It's fucked up how good Lover is when ME! and You Need To Calm Down were so bad. It feels like they changed direction at the last minute and changed the tracklist dramatically because those two songs seem sort of wildly out of place, along with London Boy. It's so uneven it's basically two albums in one but when it's good it's extremely good. This song is fucking powerful. The way she straight up screams "he looks so pretty like a devil"? Amazing. What a crazy thing to shout. If you're interested I also resequenced Lover and took London Boy off it and it's a far better album in my opinion https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3LN1uAhp8BS8Ms4bgmHiVP

Kelly - Van She: I have no idea why but this is in the opening paragraph of Van She's wiki page: "Their label introduced them as a "new band from Sydney fresh on ideas, fresher than Flavor Flav, fresh like coriander, fresher than the Fresh Prince, fresher than fresh eggs."[2] Despite these claims, the band began with a sound very much rooted in the 1980s, heavy on synthesizer." which really makes me laugh. Van She had a very specific mid-2000s indietronica thing going that was really good as this song proves but they also did a bunch of remixes under the name Van She Tech that are very out there and completely different to the main band. Their remix of UFO by Sneaky Sound System I'm sure I've yelled about in these posts before, it's absolutely phenomenal. Anyway I guess what I'm saying is get you a band that can do both.

Shadow - Wild Nothing: Somehow I missed Wild Nothing back when they were a big thing and only listened to them this month. I listened to this whole album while I was doing housework and when it finished I though 'that was nice' and could not remember a single thing about it. That's the beauty of shoegaze! I had to listen to it about five more times for it to stick and now I'm getting more and more out of it every time, I love it.

Heaven's On Fire - The Radio Dept.: Years ago when I was having a major 'depressive episode' for about a fucking year I listened to this album Constantly and as a result for a very long time I couldn't listen to it without inviting megawatts of bad vibes back into my brain. Thankfully through hard work and time passing it appears I've fully healed my assosciations with this album which is fantastic news because it is delightful start to finish and worth getting obsessed with again.

Crystalised - The xx: It's nice to see news articles posted almost every day about which albums are turning ten years old. It makes me feel one million years old and viewing the world from a television in my hermit's cave. It feels hard to overstate just how much quiet influence the xx have had over the music landscape since 2009. Without The xx we don't have Royals and without Royals we don't have You Need To Calm Down, so. Something beautiful of theirs that I think is sad hasn't caught on in the intervening years is the idea of writing romantic duets when duets had been out of fashion for so long. They wrote a whole album of them and continue to! There's a beautiful contextual depth to it, in that it's two queer people singing not exactly to each other but with each other. In an interview they've called it 'singing past each other' which is a very nice way to put it.

Aspirin - Tropical Fuck Storm: I really appreciate the continual development of the guitars in Tropical Fuck Storm where they sound so pencil-necked and reedy in these angular little melodies and then sometimes explode into thick cacophanous howls, but what's especially good is in songs like this when they don't explode and instead just sort of sprout tendrils and crawl around each other. They're really drilling down on a very singular and very unsettling sound and I really love it. It is also a very interesting feeling to be walking around Richmond listening to this album for the first time and having him mention Richmond. Spooky even.

Pasta - Angie McMahon: "My bedroom is a disaster / my dog has got kidney failure" is an all-time great opening lyric for me. I love the way this song kicks up from the doldrums, like forcing yourself to do something just so you've done something today. Angie McMahon is so great and I'm getting more and more out of her album every time.

If I Had A Hammer - Johnny Cash and June Carter Cash: The way this song is performed here is so fucking cool. The guitar tone, June's voice and the general energy of it is just absolutely electric. It feels like Highway 61 Bob Dylan where it's still folk but it's got this massive power in it. The solo fucking rips in that very old fashioned way and when it finishes and that riff comes back in by itself it's just great.

Elvis Presley Blues - Gillian Welch: I was thinking about this song because I too was thinking about Elvis. I thought for a long time that the lyrics to this were ‘didn’t he die?’ and not ‘day that he died’ and I think I prefer mine more. Idly thinking about Elvis like “whatever happened to that guy? Must be old now. Wait, didn't he die? No way to know I suppose.”

Everything Is Free - Sylvan Esso: Rolling Stone had a very good article and interview about how this song about napster has had a resurgence and remained relevant through the streaming era which is a very good read. I love the original and really this version is very similar except for the one key difference where they really dig into the anger and frustration at the heart of it in the 'fucking sing it yourself' line.  https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-features/gillian-welch-everything-is-free-courtney-barnett-father-john-misty-725135/

It's Nice To Have A Friend - Taylor Swift: This is the strangest song on Lover and one of the best, I absolutely love it. It's a very old fashioned kind of Taylor Swift Love Story type song but it also has a a fucking trumpet reveille in the middle, so that really spices it up a bit. I also keep accidentally listening to this backwards - there's a few phrases like when she sings 'it's nice to have a friend' where the 'friend' lands on the offbeat but is accented like it should be ON the beat and because of the way the music is in this where it's just the steady pulse it's hard to tell whether the chime is supposed to be on the beat or on the offbeat. It feels like it sort of slides back and forth throughout the song depending on what everything else is doing around it. I don't know if that's intentional or not but it's a very interesting effect. This song is also, in my estimation, about a woman and is detailing a fantasy Taylor Swift is having where she can come out to the world with no fuss and enjoy a simple fairytale love story as a gay woman.

Psalm 42 / Chant For Pentecost - The Trees Community: I have a mental list of albums I google every few months to see if they've been added to streaming and by the grace of god one of them finally has been. Years ago I used to listen to this almost every night to fall asleep and I think it brainwashed me slightly in a delightful way, and now I finally have it back again! This is proper hippie music: a bunch of long haired new york christians who drove around the country in the early 70s in a school bus playing their elaborate and beautiful music for anyone who wanted to hear it. The multilayered, multi-movement construction of these songs is completely entrancing to me. It's not a hollow beauty, but one that brings new meaning to old words in the way they stretch and snap and waver throughout the song, moving past each other and through each other as it moves forward. I absolutey love it. Chant For Pentecost is a good illustration of the other side of them, a short song that starts sweet and turns almost maniacal. There's a wild-eyed feeling to the harmonies and the way this melody sits on a single tone for such long stretches before the frankly scary conclusion.

In My Father's House / Working On The Building - Elvis Presley: The backing vocals in these, and especially the bass vocals are so incredible. The way they work in the second verse of Working On The Building is so great, Elvis is the lead vocal but the middle harmony and somehow it just works perfectly. The harmonies is In My Father's House are amazing. The bass solo is mind blowing and the part about halfway through where Elvis swallows the mic and says "jesus died upon the cross [VRRMER] sorrow" is very funny. It's got it all.

The Greatest - Lana Del Rey: Norman Fucking Rockwell is an absolute masterpiece and this is the best song on it. Lana has always had a knack for this apocalyptic feeling but this is a whole other level.  https://www.stereogum.com/2056565/lana-del-rey-norman-fucking-rockwell-review/franchises/premature-evaluation/ The Stereogum writeup for this album was really great, and really nailed my opinion of her whole character thing as well, but he described this song as her version of that video that Ted Turner commissioned for CNN to play at the end of the world and it's really a perfect description. The part at the end where she says 'Kanye West is blonde and gone' is so chilling to me. Like Kanye losing the plot makes sense because he's only a few months ahead of the rest of us. He’s been a thought and culture leader for so long and it only makes sense that he’s spun off into space in these last days before it all wraps up.

listen here

[poorreputation]

SPN 15X03 The Rupture: Notes

Summary (via IMDB) Sam, Dean together and Rowena work tirelessly to keep all of hell from breaking loose; Castiel cannot forgive an arrogant betrayal.

Directed by: Charles Beeson

Written by: Robert Berens

Tagging: @thegalwhorants @emblue-sparks @metafest @verobatto-angelxhunter @evvvissticante @sudo-apt-get-destiel @wildligia @mishka-the-angel-of-saturday

Spoilers under the cut:

Pre Episode Notes: Don't let Rowena die. Please, Bobo, please.

Episode Notes:

-The group goes to a 'nice, protected space' so Rowena can perform her patching-spell. It's a tomb.

-"We're all going to die!" What else is new?

-Ghosts are too angsty for magic. Rowena is, as the youths say, Shook.

-Castiel is forced to acknowledge Belghegor's presence. The latter is going back to the Hell-source.

-Dean won't let a "glorified fanboy" get the last word. Bobo definitely not shading anyone...

-Hell-source is actually a tear.

-Lilith's crook; a possible solution, or deception?

-Rowena wanting Sam to be her assistant for the healing spell. 👀

-Dean signing Cas up to pair with Belphi. Recipe for disaster? Maybe. Petty as fuck? Yes.

-Ketch is back, only to have his heart ripped out by Ardat.

-Belphi sowing more seeds of doubt.

-Ardat figures out where Belphi is.

-Belphi sure got lucky, bringing Cas for an Enochian chant. 👀

-Ardat's caught up with Belphi and Cas, knocking Cas out.

-Belphi's killed Ardat, who said Belphi only wanted to rule Hell.

-Obvious betrayal is obvious.

-OMG, Samwitch are holding hands!!

-Cas killed Belphi, who was wearing the face of Jack. That little gasp from Cas at the end, though.

-Rowena's dead. What a body count. I mean, Samwitch tearful goodbye, paralleled with Destiel confrontation and argument. Just... wow.

-Ah, the break-up scene everyone predicted would happen. I'm shocked, I tell you, shocked.

You know, I always thought when Cas spoke his mind, got his issues with Dean off his chest, there would be more yelling involved. Personally, I would've preferred it. But, I do like the thought of Cas, in my abridged version of Bobo's work, going, "Fine, peace out, have fun with your Bronly MotW episodes!" I mean, it feels like this, and the aforementioned 'glorified fanboy' line, were very deliberate.

Post Episode Notes:

Dean tells Sam he had no choice in Rowena's death. Rowena, living her life by magic and prophecy, believed it was their only option, but it's still her choice. No one knew Rowena's plan B. So, Dean going to Cas and blaming him for Rowena's death is invalidating her choice.

What's funny is that Dean and Rowena are operating on the same principle, only on different ends and extremes. Rowena believed in magic and prophecy as a way of life. Dean is more chaotic, taking the idea he never had a choice and acting like the angsty teen he never got to be (because he grew up too fast).

That's all I have for now! If you enjoy my notes and musings, let me know and I'll add you to the tag-list!

[punkinroses]

I really don't know if anyone's looking for recipes but I figured hey, I've been going through my recipe binder and wanting to add onto it, so I thought maybe I'd share some recipes for y'all to try out!

I'll space them out by post, so I figured I'd share this one first. It was kind of a family recipe. We always called it [insert last name] dessert...turns out the real name is Better Than Sex Cake and my Good Christian Grandma and Great Aunt decided none of us kids needed to know that so my Great Aunt did not tell us until the day after Grandma died. The looks on our faces were priceless.

First Layer

1 stick margarine

1 cup flour

1/4 cup powdered sugar

Combine all ingredients and press into a 9x13in baking dish. Bake at 350° f for 9-11 minutes or until browned. Let cool.

Side note, I'm the one in my family with the most trouble with the crust. My best friend and I decided we'd test out a package of chocolate chip cookie dough and press that into the pan, following the baking directions on the package. Totally worth it if you want some extra chocolate and just amazing. My Great Aunt has also used oreo crusts and chocolate graham cracker crusts for her grandkids.

Second Layer

8 oz cream cheese, softened

1 cup powdered sugar

1 cup cool whip

Combine in a dish and then spread onto first layer

Third Layer

1 lg box Jello instant chocolate pudding mix

1 3/4 cup milk

Beat until pudding is thick and spread onto second layer.

It is absolutely okay if the second and third layers look ugly when you spread them. Trust me, it happens, don't fret about it.

This is saved by your fourth layer. You just simply spread cool whip over your third layer, enough to cover it completely, i usually measure this out to be a couple of cups at least. Or a few big scoops from a spoon. After that, you sprinkle chocolate shavings or chocolate chips over it.

Side note, if you're not as big a fan of chocolate, my Mom came up with a version using banana or vanilla pudding for the third layer, and then spread sliced bananas on the top. My sister's tried a strawberry version as well. Lemon is also an option, per reccomendation of my Great Aunt.

Enjoy!

[setaripendragon]

The Light of a Pole Star - Part 1

This idea just sort of possessed me after that Royed Soulmates fic I wrote. Because there was one version of soulmates that wasn’t on the prompt list that I really, really love; Reincarnation. And then I thought of how amazing that would be in FMA in general, and then this happened. Idk how many parts there’ll be (four? five?) but I’ve got the whole thing pretty much finished, I just gotta fix a few scenes and figure out how to split this monster up XD Disclaimer: I watched FMA and FMA:B a long time ago, and I never actually finished either of them anyway, so although this is meant to be sort of canon-divergent, I probably messed up somewhere. (There are also some little nods to some of my favourite fanfics out there, including Son of the Desert, because it’s amazing.)

Ed shouldn’t remember. Oh, there’s all the stuff the Gate shoved into his head that he remembers and Al doesn’t, and he probably shouldn’t remember that either, but that’s not- That is so far removed from him, such impersonal knowledge. It’s the same – he figures, anyway – for anyone who passes through the Gate. Just knowledge drilled into them soul-deep and agonising. It’s fine.

It’s the memories that bother Ed the most.

Because he shouldn’t remember. He shouldn’t remember what Aerugonian wine tastes like, and he shouldn’t remember the customs of the Imperial Xingese Court, and he shouldn’t remember the exact combination of old parchment, dusty leather, and warm sand smells that permeated the Great Library of Xerxes. He’s never even left Risembool. He shouldn’t remember how to navigate Aquroya’s canals, or the back streets of Central City’s slums. He’s Edward Elric, and yet he also remembers being Natan bin Mordechai, and Yi Feng, and Leon Blackburn, and Lucia Guardia, and Proteus of Atossa.

It’s too much for his eleven year old mind to hold. Centuries of memories, so many different versions of eleven. Eleven in Xerxes had been less than half way to adulthood, but eleven in Drachma had been old enough to start work as an apprentice. Sometimes he loses his childhood in Risembool in amongst climbing through Xingese orchards and scampering across the flat roofs of Ishval.

It isn’t until someone grabs him by the front of his shirt, hauls him up and shakes him, and he looks up into coal black eyes that he comes back to himself. Because he knows those eyes. In different shapes and colours across the centuries, they’ve been there. They’d met in a library, in a sickroom, in a workshop, in an alley, in a bar, in the market, in a temple. So many differences, so many variables, but Ed – his name is Edward Elric – latches onto the soul underneath, which has always remained constant.

It’s the anchor he needed. Even after Mustang’s left, it’s just easier to put the pieces into the right places inside his mind. He drags himself out of the mire of centuries, and demands automail from Granny. He can do this. He doesn’t know how, because he wasn’t always an alchemist – how could he not always have been an alchemist?! – but he’s going to get Al’s body back. And Roy Mustang is going to help him.

He’s pretty sure everyone can tell something’s different, but Al puts it down to failing to bring Mum back, and Winry puts it down to the trauma of his injury, and Ed’s not entirely sure they’re wrong. It’s all of that, and maybe that’s why it’s so much harder to push the memories away. It’s easier remembering a life that isn’t really – is – his, than dwelling on what he’s done in this life.

“Okay, pipsqueak, spill it.” Granny commands, a couple of weeks into his recovery, when he’s sitting on the back porch, looking out over the fields and comparing them to the rice fields in Xing. Looking at his automail and comparing it to automobile engines.

“Who’re you calling pipsqueak, tiny old hag?!” Ed snaps, turning to glower at Granny.

Granny glowers right back. “What’s wrong?”

“What do you think?” Ed retorts bitterly.

“If I knew that, I wouldn’t be asking.” Granny fires back without missing a beat. Then she sighs out a large cloud of smoke and puffs rapidly on her pipe for a moment. “You’ve got a lot to be upset about, I’ll grant, but I know you, Ed, and this isn’t what you’re like when you’re wallowing. This is what you’re like when you’re lost inside that big brain of yours.”

Ed snorts before he can help himself, because, okay, that’s accurate. And maybe… he can’t tell Al or Winry, he can’t burden them with this, but Granny… She’s lived through two of Ed’s lifetimes, more or less. “When were you born, Granny?” He asks.

“1839.” Granny replies, slow and confused. “Why?”

“Did you ever see much of the war with Aerugo?” Ed continues without answering.

After a beat of suspicious silence, Granny nods. “I saw a lot of soldiers come through while I was studying in Rush Valley. And I worked with the medics near the front for a few years when it got bad. That’s where I met my husband, as it happens.”

Ed smiles a little wistfully. “There’s this little town, not that far south from South City. Walston. You know it?” He begins, and Granny is outright frowning now, but she nods again. “It used to be over the border, but the military used their brand new horseless carriages to out-manoeuvre the Aerugonian troops and take it in 1874. It was pretty close to a river, which made it an ideal new base to operate from, so all the support people, the medics, the cooks, and of course their new engineers got carted in and dumped among the locals for the next however long it took to conquer the next town. Which was a recipe for trouble even ignoring the fact that the only place worth visiting in the evening was Valentino’s Bar.”

“I remember.” Granny murmured. “Ed, how the-”

“Oh, you were actually there?” Ed asks in surprise, blinking at Granny and trying to find a fiery automail mechanic in his memories. “Huh. Maybe we met.”

“What the hell are you talking about, Edward?!” Granny snaps, losing her patience.

“You didn’t happen to meet an engineer by the name of Lexi Spitfire, did you?” Ed asks.

Granny stops, mouth open in preparation to demand more answers, and gives Ed a deeply unnerved look. “Short, curly brown hair, freckles, always bickering with the barkeep?” She asks.

“I was not short!” Ed grouses. “I was perfectly normal sized, thank you very much! Just because Aerugonians tend towards unreasonably tall does not mean-” Granny makes a worrisome noise, kind of like a ‘glrhk’, and sits down heavily on the porch steps, staring up at Ed like she’s seen a ghost. “Granny?” Ed asks, maybe frets, a bit, because while he’d sort of hoped his knowledge of things he couldn’t possibly have been there to see would convince her he was telling the truth, he didn’t want to give her a heart attack.

“That was- Fucking hell…” Granny breathes, and then she shakes herself and goes right back to staring at Ed in shock. “I remember walking into that bar and hearing that exact rant. Spitfire was trying to haul the barkeep over the bar-”

“And Val was being a smug bastard. ‘Oh, sorry, is it too far for you to reach? Should I lean down a little to make it easier?’” Ed quotes with a snarl. “Wasn’t so smug with a bruise the size of my fist around his pretty little eye, was he?”

“What the hell happened, Ed?” Granny demands. “If you’re even still Edward-!”

“I am!” Ed interrupts quickly. “Jeez, Granny, I think you’d have noticed if I wasn’t me by now.”

“I thought so, too, but then you started talking like someone else!” Granny yelps.

Ed sighs, and looks back out over the fields of Risembool. “Not really. I mean, different name, different face, different life… same soul.” He pauses and shrugs. “I think. I didn’t exactly get an explanation. It was just suddenly all there, in my head.”

Granny draws in a sharp breath, but she doesn’t yell. She doesn’t say anything for the longest time, and Ed lets it settle, lets her have the time to absorb everything he’s said. He thinks he remembers her, now,  thinks he remembers toasting with her to the notion that machines are just better than men. Thinks he remembers drunken conversations about how automail works, how engines work, how many people they’d seen die already because their machines weren’t quite good enough. He thinks Val had cut them off at that point. He thinks he remembers Val carrying him – her – to bed and tucking her in like the fucking stupid sap he was under all that bullshit. “So… Spitfire’s dead, then? I had wondered.” Granny says finally.

“Yeah. 1889. Car crash.” Ed tells her.

Granny snorts. “Ironic.”

“Tell me about it.”

Central City is both familiar and not, and it takes Ed a day just to get his bearings. He goes for a walk, past the university, which is bigger than it used to be, and through the wealthy districts that are basically unchanged from two hundred years ago, and into the slums, which go from painfully familiar to completely wrong and back again every few alleys. He finds a brothel where he remembers a dilapidated ruin he’d slept in for several months as a child a long, long time ago, and pauses, staring at it and trying to get a grip on the sheer irony.

“Brother…” Al says, audibly judging him.

“What?!” Ed huffs. “I was looking at the architecture, Al!”

“The architecture?” Someone drawls in a husky smoker’s rasp, and Ed turns to see an older woman leaning in the doorway, a cigarette between two perfectly manicured fingers. “Well, that’s a new one.”

“Could do with a few more gargoyles, if you ask me.” Ed informed her with a sharp grin. Given her age and her perfectly ostentatious make-up, he figures she’s the proprietress of the brothel. “You’d be the eponymous Madame Christmas, I guess?”

“That’s me.” She confirms. “And you’re way too young to be a customer, kid.”

Ed snorts, because that’s funny. If he adds up everything he remembers, he’s more than five hundred years old. “Not looking for work, either.” He points out dryly.

“Good.” Madame Christmas says, with a whole weight of emphasis behind her words. “The hell are you doing in this part of town, then, kid?” She demands. Doesn’t mince words, this one. Ed decides he kinda likes her.

“Just looking around. Getting a feel for the city.” Ed answers.

“You should go home.” Madame Christmas instructs, in a tone that very much expects to be obeyed. Ed’s never really responded to that sort of tone. Not in this life, not in any other.

“Eh.” He shrugs. “Don’t feel like it.” That earns him a glower, and replies with another knife-sharp grin, just daring the woman to push the issue. She blows out a tight stream of smoke, rolls her eyes, and capitulates with a long drag of her cigarette. “Besides, the guy we’re staying with is a fucking creep, so I’ll take any excuse to get out of there for a while.”

“Oh?” Madame Christmas prompts, one eyebrow arching slowly.

“Brother, Mr Tucker isn’t that bad.” Al protests, but it’s weak and they both know it.

Madame Christmas’s other eyebrow rises to join the first. “What’s he done?”

“Nothing.” Ed waves a vague hand in the air. “It’s not… He’s fucking shifty. He won’t look at me head-on, he’s nervous all the damn time, except when he thinks no one’s looking at him, and then he gets this- this sharp look, like there’s broken glass behind his eyes. You know what I mean?”

“Oh, yeah.” Madame Christmas confirms, and she’s watching Ed with her own sort of sharp look, now, only this one doesn’t give him the creeps at all. “We see a lot of men on the edge of doing something dangerous in our line of work.”

“Exactly.” Ed agrees, pointing at her.

“Fair enough, kid.” Another puff of the cigarette, and then she stubs the butt out in a little portable ashtray she pulled out of her pocket. “But there are better places to sight-see in this city. Safer places.” She informs him, giving him a pointed look. “So get out of here.”

Ed accepts that, and turns to go, but hesitates, and turns back a moment later. “Just out of curiosity, do you employ boys here, or just girls?” He asks.

“Brother!” Al yelps.

Madame Christmas gives him a clinical once-over, and then a dryly amused look. “Come back in about five years, kid,” she tells him, “and I’d have people paying through the nose for you.” Al gives a scandalised sort of squeak, but Ed’s just mildly flattered by that assessment.

“I told you I’m not looking for work. I was just curious.” Ed corrects, marvelling at the strange synchronicity of his different lives. “Klaus would’ve laughed himself sick if he could see this.” He muses quietly, but not quietly enough, apparently.

“Klaus?” Madame Christmas prompts.

Ed shakes his head. “No one, just… just an old friend, sort of.”

Madame Christmas gives him a deeply sceptical look. “You’re way too young to be talking like that, kid.” She informs him, and Ed shrugs, because he can’t exactly argue without looking insane. Instead of saying anything, he just waves, and sets off down the street.

“What on earth were you talking about, Brother?” Al asks once they’re well out of earshot of the brothel. “We’ve never known anyone called Klaus.”

“Says you.” Ed retorts. “I could have friends you don’t know about.”

“No, you really couldn’t, Brother.” Al says, deadpan.

“Ouch.” Ed laughs, and then sobers up as he tries to figure out how much he ought to tell Al. “It’s just… something I remember, from- from the Gate.” He says eventually, shoving his hands into his pockets and slouching a little. He doesn’t know why Al doesn’t have the same problem as him. Maybe because he doesn’t remember the Gate at all, but that doesn’t seem right to Ed. The only thing he can figure is that he remembers because the Gate pulled him apart, pulled him open and everything that had been wrapped up inside had spilled out, all the things imprinted on his soul but tucked away out of sight had been laid bare and forced into the light. But he doesn’t know, and surely if that was the case, Al should remember, too, whether or not he remembers it happening.

“Oh.” Al says quietly. They walk in silence for several long minutes. “The Gate showed you… things to do with… with prostitutes?” He asks eventually.

Ed huffs a laugh that doesn’t have much humour in it. “Sort of. I don’t really want to talk about it.”

“Okay, Brother.” Al agrees. “But if you… if you ever do, you know I’ll listen, right?”

“Of course, Al.” Ed confirms, rapping his knuckles lightly against the side of Al’s breastplate. “Come on, I’ll race you back to the main street.” He says, and then bolts, laughing at Al’s indignant cries of ‘BROTHER!’ echoing behind him.

“Met your new recruit today.”

“What?!”

“Mmhm. Weird kid.”

“Weird… how?”

“He’s a lot more grown-up than he looks.”

“Yes, well, I knew that much.”

“Also said he got a bad feeling about that Tucker bloke.”

“Really? That’s interesting.”

“Very. Articulated it well, too. You’d think he’d seen people that fucked up before.”

“Fucked up?”

“I’ll talk to Helen about it, see if she can’t give me some better insight.”

“I see.”

“Perhaps you ought to look in on the man, too. Make sure he’s doing okay.”

“I will. And what exactly was Edward doing in your part of town, anyway?”

“Sightseeing.”

“…Sightseeing.”

“Mmhm. Stopped to appreciate the architecture.”

“The… architecture?”

“Thinks we should add some gargoyles to the front of the place.”

“Good heavens. I hope you’re not going to take his advice.”

“Mmm…”

“Madame!”

“Heh, don’t get your panties in a bunch, Roy-Boy. No; no gargoyles.”

“Good. I’ll see you soon.”

“You’d better. Good luck.”

“And to you as well, Madame.”

Ed feels sick. Ed has seen a lot of awful things before, but there’s something so much more awful about the botched, mangled chimera that used to be Nina Tucker. Maybe it’s because all those memories are… just a little detached. Old and faded and worn. This is immediate, right in his face, so starkly fresh that he can still smell the ozone of the transmutation.

There’s a bang upstairs, footsteps, and Al calls out, shouts for help, maybe. Ed’s barely paying attention, because he can barely breathe, and his mind is racing. Because while he can’t clearly remember the knowledge the gate pounded into his head, he does remember five different lifetimes of learning alchemy, and there has to be something in there that could help.

“Shit.” Ed’s head snaps around to stare. Roy is standing at the bottom of the stairs, looking into Tucker’s lab and staring in pale-faced horror at the whimpering chimera in the middle of the room. “Where’s Tucker?” He asks, the moment he registers that Ed is looking at him.

“We- we knocked him out and put him in one of the cages.” Al informs Roy, because Ed can’t find his tongue. Can’t find even a scrap of attention for anything happening in this century. He’s back in Xerxes. Back in Xing. Because Xerxes hadn’t had laws against human transmutation like Amestris does, their concept of biological alchemy had been entirely different, and possibly – probably – more accurate. And Xingese alkahestry was focused on and centered around healing, the body and the soul, in harmony.

Pieces start coming together in Ed’s mind, and he scrambles up. “Edward?!” Roy demands, as Ed lunges for the desk. “Brother?!” Al yelps, when Ed comes up with a piece of chalk. He needs to draw this one out, because it’s so, so fragile, so tenuous, and if he’s wrong- He needs to draw it out to make sure he’s not wrong.

“Get Nina out of the way, Al.” Ed orders, dropping to his knees and clapping to clear the array already laid out in chalk. Nina-the-chimera flinches, whines like a beaten dog, and Al leaves off questioning Ed in favour of coaxing Nina out of the way.

“Edward, what on earth do you think you’re doing?” Roy demands, stepping up to Ed’s shoulder as he starts drawing out the array.

“Tryna fix it.”

“Edward, there is no fixing it.” Roy tells him, stern and aching. “You can’t undo a completed transmutation.”

“It’s not complete.” Ed retorts. “Bungled patch job piece of shit. Soul’s out of alignment with the body. Shit, Tucker didn’t even account for souls in his circle. Did he even study anatomy? I mean, shit. No, that’s wrong-” Ed scrubs out the beginnings of a sigil and steps back for a moment, eyeing the circle. “If you account for the lóng de màibó, there needs to be-” Nodding, Ed dives back in again, putting the details into place in a flurry of inspiration.

“The what?” Roy asks.

It’s a good thing Ed’s almost done, because that question knocks him clean out of his head-space. For a moment, he sees double when he looks up at Roy. Fuller lips painted blood red, longer hair bound back with jade hairpins carved to look like plum blossoms and butterflies, narrower face that only emphasised the cunning behind dark eyes. But this is Roy, not Xiaoli, and of course he doesn’t know what the Dragon’s Pulse is.

“It’s a- Never mind.” Ed shakes his head and finishes the array. “Okay. Okay, Nina?” He calls, turning to where Al and Nina are crouched together at the edge of the room. “Hey, Nina. I think- I think I can make it stop hurting, if you’d like?” He offers.

“Big brother?” Nina rasps, and Ed’s heart breaks.

“Yeah. Could you come here a sec?” Ed asks, and Nina gets up and staggers over, butting her head against his chest and whining. “Hey, it’s going to be okay. Big brother will make it better.” He promises, and drops a kiss onto her shaggy head before backing away. “Stay right there a sec, okay?” He prompts, when she makes to come after him. She whines, but sits down hesitantly.

“Edward, are you sure…?” Roy asks.

Ed chews on his lip. “Eighty-two percent.”

“Brother, isn’t this… this is human transmutation.” Al protests weakly, coming to stand beside Ed.

“Technically? Maybe not.” Ed hedges.

“What do you mean?” Al demands, bewildered.

“Technically, if Tucker could get her here without having to face the gate, then I should be able to… well, to heal her without crossing that line, too. I don’t think I can… I can’t make her human again, is the thing, but I think- I’m pretty sure I can make her… better.” Ed tries to explain. Then, before he can second-guess himself, he drops to his knees and places his fingers on the edge of the circle. It immediately lights up bright white-blue, and Nina screams.

Ed screws his eyes shut, because he knows that sometimes healing hurts, but this is worse than anything he’s seen before. Not surprising, given that her entire body is a patchwork mess that needs streamlining.

The light dies, the screaming stops, to be replaced with the harsh, wet, gasping sobs of a child. “Nina?!” Ed calls.

“B-big brother?!” Nina calls back, all herself, without any rough, raspy dog-vocals. Ed goes boneless, even as Al and Roy both gasp. He scrubs out part of the outer circle to make sure the array can’t be reactivated, and then crawls forward to where Nina is naked and shivering on the floor.

“Hey, hey there.” Ed murmurs as he scoops her up and cradles her against his chest. “Does it still hurt, Nina? Can you- can you tell me if it hurts?”

Nina presses her face into his chest and sobs, but she’s shaking her head as she does it. “No. It hurt so bad, but- but it’s b-better now.” She mumbles weakly, and then dissolves into wailing, crying so hard she’s shaking with it. Ed looks down at her and grimaces. He’d been right when he said he couldn’t make Nina human again. Her proportions are just a little off, and she’s got a fine coat of golden-red fur over her back and limbs and climbing up her neck, and her nails look more like claws, and Ed’s pretty sure she’s got a tail now. But she’s not in pain anymore, and that’s all Ed could ask for.

Dark cloth appears in Ed’s vision, and he looks up to see Roy offering him his black great coat. Trying for a smile of gratitude and falling miles short, Ed takes it and bundles Nina up in it. They wait in silence as Nina cries herself out and then falls asleep still half in Ed’s lap and half on the floor. “Let me-” Roy murmurs softly, and Ed doesn’t even hesitate to let him scoop Nina up into his arms. He clambers to his feet and stares at her tear-streaked sleeping face. Her face, at least, looks mostly normal, although there’s something about the shape of her eyes that looks not-quite-right.

“Where are you going to take her?” Al asks, and Ed snaps to attention at the thread of fear and steel he hears in his brother’s tone.

He looks up at Roy, and Roy looks back with a pained grimace. “Somewhere she’ll be safe, I promise.” He swears.

“Where?” Al presses, sharp and high and angry. “Because I know you know what the military would do with her if-”

Roy gives a singularly humourless laugh. “You don’t need to worry, Alphonse. As far as any official report goes…” He trails off and glances towards the stairs. Only then does Ed even realise that Hughes and Hawkeye came with Roy. He scrubs at one eye and wonders at how bad his tunnel vision had gotten.

“Unless we can come up with a suitably convincing mess, I think we’d best go with missing.” Hughes interjects grimly.

“We could vaporise him.” Ed suggests darkly, jerking his thumb at Tucker.

Roy looks startled, and then thoughtful. “Claim it was Nina and that Tucker fled, and then at least the manhunt would be for someone they’re definitely not going to find. I’ll… handle that when I get back.” He sighs, looking down at Nina.

“Back from where?” Al asks belligerently.

“My mother’s.” Roy replies wryly, and all the fight goes out of Al. “She’ll take good care of Nina.”

“Let me take her.” Hughes interjects. “You need to be done with him when Military Police catch up.”

Roy nods, and hands Nina over. Hughes cradles her like she’s precious, and there’s a momentary look of heartbreak on his face. Then he’s gone, back up the stairs, and Roy is turning towards Tucker. “Hawkeye, if you could take the Elrics upstairs? I’ll join you in a few minutes.

“Sir.” Hawkeye replies, and then turns and gestures for Ed and Al to precede her up the stairs. Al moves towards her, but Ed doesn’t. “Edward?” Hawkeye prompts, her tone surprisingly gentle. It really doesn’t help with the sick feeling bubbling in Ed’s gut.

“Do you know how to make it look like a failed human transmutation?” He asks Roy.

Roy goes still, and hesitates long enough to answer that Ed doesn’t need him to actually say the words. “Not specifically, but I can make a good enough guess.” Roy says finally, decisively enough that if Ed didn’t remember, if he hadn’t had nearly a dozen adulthoods to draw on, he might have let it nudge him from the room. But he did, so he doesn’t.

“Not as good as I can.” Ed points out.

“Brother!” Alphonse protests, horrified.

“It’s fine, Al.” Ed snaps. It’s not, it’s so far beyond not fine it’s not even funny, but Ed’s been in the military three times before. He’s seen how ruthless they can be, how gleefully malicious they can be. He remembers how casually they can toss aside the lives of even their own people. If there’s anything – anything at all – that he can do to protect Nina from that, he’ll do it.

“You don’t have to do this, Edward.” Roy tells him, quiet and solemn.

“No, but I’m going to anyway.” Ed replies, meeting his gaze. “I couldn’t save Nina, but maybe- maybe I can help keep her a little bit safer now.” He hesitates, but this is Roy. This is Val and Malka and Klaus and Xiaoli and Dimka and Huang. If he can’t trust them, he can’t trust anybody. “I- I don’t think I can… kill him, though. Can-”

Roy looks like Ed just stabbed him. “I can handle that part, Edward.” He assures him.

“Yay, teamwork.” Ed jokes weakly. Roy flashes him a smile that’s hollow, but his eyes are touched with gallows humour, so Ed will take it. “You should- you should go with Hawkeye, Al. You- you don’t need to see this.” He says.

“I hate that you keep hurting yourself to protect me from things.” Al tells him, in a quiet, wounded voice that stabs straight to Ed’s core.

“Tough shit.” Ed replies, a little more brusquely than he meant to, what with the sharp pain in his heart. “I’m the big brother, that’s my job.” Al gives an angry grumble, but he leaves with Hawkeye. Ed shares one more weary, determined look with Roy, and then they get to work.

[merrikstryfe]

One of my rabbit holes when I was in my early twenties was fitness and nutrition. So much so that I was a personal trainer & nutritionist for a while. I learned a lot. About people, and how we think. Thread. [tw: discussion of diet culture]

— Erynn Brook (@ErynnBrook) July 26, 2019

I came into the fitness world the way most people probably do: I had beaten my body and my self esteem down and still hadn’t lost weight. I figured if I got some professional help, they could be hard on me so I wouldn’t have to be, and at least I wouldn’t hate myself as much.

— Erynn Brook (@ErynnBrook) July 26, 2019

Something interesting happened. They weren’t hard on me. They were encouraging and gentle and educational. The workouts were hard. But no one was mean to me. Not the way I had been mean to myself.

— Erynn Brook (@ErynnBrook) July 26, 2019

I realized that so much of the information I had was just plain wrong. But learning that didn’t automatically unravel all the moral judgments I had attached to that information. “Just eat less.” Took a long time to detach from the self-hatred that fueled it.

— Erynn Brook (@ErynnBrook) July 26, 2019

One of the early things we discovered about my physiology, after I put on 5 lbs in the first month and burst into tears in front of my nutritionist, was that I put on muscle like a 19 year old boy on steroids (his words, not mine).

— Erynn Brook (@ErynnBrook) July 26, 2019

I was so intrigued by the science, and I loved the gym I was at, they even hired me to do morning classes. So, I started training to be a personal trainer, and nutritionist, because food was so important in figuring my own stuff out.

— Erynn Brook (@ErynnBrook) July 26, 2019

The more I learned the more I realized how much of a science it really is, how much chemistry, and once I started working with clients, how much psychology.

— Erynn Brook (@ErynnBrook) July 26, 2019

And I started noticing how much misinformation and values and morals had been tied up in the way people thought about themselves and their bodies.

— Erynn Brook (@ErynnBrook) July 26, 2019

I did not have a single client, ever, who needed to start with “eating less”. Not one. All types of bodies, ages, genders, life stages. No one was eating too much. No one. Everyone was in starvation mode.

— Erynn Brook (@ErynnBrook) July 26, 2019

Every single person I ever worked with needed to learn how to eat every 3-4 hours. My approach was: it doesn’t matter what you eat. I don’t care. You need to eat something every 3-4 hours until you start feeling hungry every 3-4 hours because your body doesn’t trust you right now

— Erynn Brook (@ErynnBrook) July 26, 2019

I never handed out a meal plan to anyone. I never had a client that needed one. I wasn’t working with pro athletes or fitness models. Just regular people. People who were starving themselves because “just eat less” is so pervasive.

— Erynn Brook (@ErynnBrook) July 26, 2019

And my job was just to be gentle and encouraging and honest enough to get people through that first step. Eating until their body believed that they would feed themselves regularly. How? I banned scales. My clients were not allowed to weigh themselves.

— Erynn Brook (@ErynnBrook) July 26, 2019

I wasn’t working with fighters trying to make weight. There was no need for daily or even weekly weigh-ins. And certainly no need for them without measurements and proper body composition information. I didn’t need them feeling bad about themselves. No scales. Period.

— Erynn Brook (@ErynnBrook) July 26, 2019

In my fitness classes I stopped counting reps. I gave people a specific amount of time to do a particular movement, and emphasized form above all else. I let people take breaks. If I challenged them too much and they were gassed 40 mins into a 1 hour class, we’d stretch.

— Erynn Brook (@ErynnBrook) July 26, 2019

One of my small fitness class clients got pregnant and had the worst first trimester nausea. She didn’t want to get out of the habit of coming, so she would come to class, do a move when she could, stretch, or lie down. And I told her every time she came she was a damn warrior.

— Erynn Brook (@ErynnBrook) July 26, 2019

I noticed that people would do the move they were comfortable with, at the speed they were comfortable with. And when I felt everyone was a little too comfortable, I’d give them 30 seconds to challenge themselves to do a harder version. Just to see if they could.

— Erynn Brook (@ErynnBrook) July 26, 2019

Most people had imbalances that needed to be corrected. Posture fixes, one side stronger than the other, not enough hip flexibility or not knowing how to engage their posterior chain. Te first 2 months, usually, probably felt like nothing was happening, to be honest.

— Erynn Brook (@ErynnBrook) July 26, 2019

This is, obviously, counter to how personal trainers and nutritionists are taught to sell things. We were taught that you gotta give them results right away to keep them. I just supplemented with being supportive, kind, and honest with my clients.

— Erynn Brook (@ErynnBrook) July 26, 2019

So what happened after the adjustment period? When people were feeling hunger again, listening to their bodies, had basic understanding of how everything moved, and weren’t being mean to themselves anymore? The simple stuff you hear about. Just not all at once.

— Erynn Brook (@ErynnBrook) July 26, 2019

Drinking more water. Getting regular sleep. If weight loss was a goal: eat more plants. Don’t substitute other things for plants. Just add more plants and eat those first.

— Erynn Brook (@ErynnBrook) July 26, 2019

My goal, with my clients, and I was clear from the start, was that they fire me because they didn’t need me anymore. I had an off-boarding plan. I would build them a workout plan and update it every 2 months for a year. I’d check their measurements and teach them the new plan.

— Erynn Brook (@ErynnBrook) July 26, 2019

After a year they’d have more than enough knowledge to handle it on their own. No one ever needed a meal plan. Maybe a recipe or two. Maybe to be introduced to a few new food items eventually. But the only reason to count calories was to show them they weren’t eating enough.

— Erynn Brook (@ErynnBrook) July 26, 2019

Most of my job was about breaking down bad mental models. I’d use questions like “If I could snap my fingers, and make you look exactly the way you wanted, but every time you got on a scale it said you weigh 500lbs, would you take that deal?”

— Erynn Brook (@ErynnBrook) July 26, 2019

Most people, gut reaction? No. No way. So we’d talk through it. We’d break it down until it was broken. Until they were aware that they were hating themselves, starving themselves, over a number on a machine that lives in a bathroom.

— Erynn Brook (@ErynnBrook) July 26, 2019

For all the “what about intermittent fasting/keto/Atkins/insert diet of choice here” folks, I’ll give the same answer I gave my clients: not until your body trusts you to listen. There is only one way to get someone out of starvation mode and that’s eating regularly.

— Erynn Brook (@ErynnBrook) July 26, 2019

You know that old saying “nothing tastes as good as skinny feels”? It’s a damn lie. Everything tastes better when you’re not dousing it in self-hatred. Everything. Even the vegetables. But especially the cake.

— Erynn Brook (@ErynnBrook) July 26, 2019