#hi I forgot I had this blog and want to use it to dump other works that won't be found by certain people

[covetyou]

performance enhancement

ao3 ⋆ main masterlist ⋆ series masterlist

pairing: Dieter Bravo & gn!reader rating: Teen (18+ only blog!) warnings: anxiety/stress, Dieter Bravo being a stubborn asshole, cute baby animals, vaguely fluffy word count: 1k summary: I couldn't stop thinking about that baby pygmy hippo and what Dieter would do if he saw it, so this fic was born. you're welcome.

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"I can't work in these fuckin' conditions!"

You hear him before you see him, sat scrolling through your phone as you wait the few hours still left until you have to pick him up. You'd got here early - as you usually did - even though Dieter was frustratingly late more often than not.

The door to the trailer is wrenched open a moment later, and you're raising your eyebrows in disapproval at the grumpy actor as he flings himself inside the trailer, slamming the door behind him.

"I can't do it," he huffs, turning anxiously in a circle, hands on his hips, running through his hair, balling into fists. "I can't fuckin' do it."

"Do what, Dee?" you say from your position curled up on the small bench seat in the trailer.

"This!" he yells, turning to face you gesturing in the vague direction of his face.

You make a face at him, still clueless as to what he's talking about. In a long line of things Dieter Bravo could be frustrated with "this" didn't really help to narrow it down.

"They want me to," he begins, fannining his eyes. "They want me to leak, and I can't."

"Cry?," you laugh. "Dee, it's in the script, of course they want you to. Have you tried the tear -"

The actor rounds on you, shaking his finger in your direction before you can even reach for your bag to see what you have to hand to help.

"No! I do not need performance aides."

"Dieter, it's just to help yo-"

"No!"

Dieter yanks off the thick knit sweater that makes part of his costume and dumps it uncermoniously onto a chair, shaking his arm in frustration as the sleeve just won't give up its hold on his wrist, growling at the garment when he's finally free. He rounds on you again when he's a little more bare, a little less claustrophobic, and flops down next to you.

"I'm not doing it," he says simply, as he tucks himself in beside you on the bench, and that's that, discussion over. You know better than to argue when he's like this so, with a roll of your eyes, you flip your phone back over and continue your aimless scrolling as Dieter's head finds its place on your shoulder.

He fidgets for a little while, the bench not really big enough for the two of you to curl up, until he's slumped down and half turned toward you, legs splayed out in front of him where yours are tucked beneath you.

"Can I watch?" he murmurs sadly a moment later, his face pressed into your arm and eyes screwed tight.

"Dieter, that's up to you. They're your rules, not mine."

Dieter didn't have a phone of his own. Not right now, anyway. That was locked away back at his house, awaiting the day it could be reunited with its owner. For now, all he had was an old send-texts-and-make-calls-only brick of a phone for emergencies, that he mostly used to bug you at all hours of the day. It was a rare day you weren't greeted with a "u up x" text in the morning, or a garbled jumble of letters as he forgot how to text with a number pad.

"I wanna watch," he mumbles into your arm, face pressed so tightly to you now you can feel his lips move against your skin.

"Then go ahead."

You watch then as he slowly opens one eye, peeking out shyly before opening the other and staring wide-eyed at your phone screen. You're only scrolling mindlessly, not really paying much attention to whatever the algorithm is throwing your way. Some stupid ads, spoilers for a show you're not even watching, the red carpet looks of a movie premiere Dieter was invited to, but couldn't make it, and endless shitty takes from random internet strangers. Just a normal day for the internet, but amazing for the man next to you who had kept himself away from the world of unsolicited advice and badly shot paparazzi pictures for weeks.

"Wait," he says suddenly, sitting up and scooting closer to you. "Go back, what was that?"

You scroll a little slower as you move back through the endless monotony on your phone, until Dieter goes stiff by your side and grips your arm.

"That," he says. "What's that? Is it fake?"

Something in you swells, oddly proud at the man for knowing to question something he'd never seen before rather than taking it at face value. More than once he'd come to you gushing over an image only for you to take one look, see the 8 fingers, and have to break the disappointing news to your employer.

"She's real," you say, opening the video for Dieter to take a look. "She's been everywhere the last few days."

"She's beautiful," he murmurs, transfixed on your phone screen. "Look at her. Get that girl an Oscar. Is there more?"

"Yeah, Dee, there's more."

"Can I see?"

You move to hand him your phone, but he refuses to take it, instead choosing to snuggle into your side as you search for the baby hippo that had taken his attention. A few minutes in you almost expect him to be sleeping by your side, but a small sniffle and the swipe of his hand tells you otherwise. Crying over baby animals wasn't new for Dieter, and each time he did it, you found it unbearably sweet. Eventually, he shifts by your side and squares off his shoulders, before standing, grabbing up his ugly sweater, and pulls open his trailer door with a determination to rival his earlier resignation.

"I think I can go back now."

You don't look up at him, transfixed on the tiny hippo staring back at you from your hands. A 180 flip like this wasn't unusual for Dieter. It probably wasn't even his first for today. Either way, you'd still be here when he got back from filming the last scenes of the day, ready to cart him back to the apartment he insisted you stay with him in.

"Do you need the tear stick? Drops? I've got some in-"

"No," he says with certainty. "No, I've got this. Just... just gonna think of that fuckin' hippo."

[alexaloraetheris]

As people who have had the misfortune to find my blog probably know, I have ADHD. I am also on meds for it, which is fun is many varied and different ways.

I first got put on 18mg Concerta and experienced my brain firing at more than 25% without a hyperfixation for the first time in my life. It was awesome.

Then there was the pandemic. There was a supply shortage, and my psychiatrist basically patted my head and wrote me a reccomendation to get a perscription of off-brand meds, the cost of which is at least partially covered my my insurance. They were supposedly the same thing, but something in the filler is different enough that I can't digest it all, so the effect isn't as good. It was shitty, but it was better than nothing.

It also gave me really fucking weird dreams for a while, but at least my Discord group had fun with that.

I've been upped to 36mg since starting grad school, but my doctor, who actually writes my perscription refused to give me non-insurance-approved meds, so I'm still on the shitty version, just with a bit more punch and a lot less cost. And the weird dreams are back.

Last night I dreamed I lived in my home village again, and every night I had to go into the woods and into this big hole that's basically a really deep cave and talk to the people who died there. That was my job, to keep them company and make sure they don't go out and harrass the living. One day they convinced me to take some of their bones and bury them in the proper graveyard. I took the C1 vertebrae from each of them (the Atlas, it basically lets your turn your head around) and buried them not in the graveyard, but in the little plot of land behind my house that's basically an unused garden.

And sure enough, it let them come out as ghosts during the night, and they weren't happy that they weren't in a graveyard where they could see other people but they were still stuck with me. I told them I knew that cave was the place where every woman in the village knew to dump their abusive husband's body when they've had enough, I knew they just wanted to find their ex-wives graves and get revenge. If they didn't get some goddamn therapy and realize there was a very valid reason they got dumped in the cave, they don't get to go to the graveyard.

They were super mad and turned my home into a haunted house, but they couldn't do much to me because I'm alive. So they mostly threw stuff around, but I have cats, I'm used to it. Finally they agreed to see a threapist. I kidnapped one and locked him in the attic. I'm pretty sure I at least fed him? I remember cooking something.

The therapist tried to explain to me that these were exploited farmer folk, their rage was misplaced but understandable, but I insisted they either learn to respect women or I'm throwing their bones back in the cave. The therapist tried to kill me too. I broke his head with the tenderizer and buried his Atlas in my backyard. Therapy sessions continued. My cats were ecstatic. I was sweeping a lot of broken dishes, but I somehow never ran out of plates.

I buried the cats too (no idea how they died) and now I had ghost cats in the house too. The ghosts loved them. I went out and never returned and these guys all lived together in my house with the cats. No idea if they ever became better people but it was better than the cave.

I think it was going in some weird gay direction but I woke up and forgot the rest.

Moral of the story: get my psychiatrist to write me perscriptions from now on.

[blahblahbih]

late night yapping turned essay✨

i could be responsible and do my work but instead i'm gonna make one of these posts because i love reading them on other people's blogs and the best form of procrastination is yapping

ahem ahem

my driver tier list for the 2025 season is divided as follows:

ride or die:

lando: my comfort person who is also the source of all my problems, i cannot put into words the joy this man brings into my life and how much he has made me love this sport and how he cares about his fans and quadrant and the vlogs and streamer lando and open with his feelings and mental health lando and ughhhhh i got lost in those ocean blue eyessss, BUT i can very much put into words how much pain he causes me on the daily. the emotional attachment is strong with this one but i don't know how much i can handle, stay tuned ig

max: cutie patootie who can do no wrong, literally the reason i got into the sport. i love the mad max, i love the cat dad unhinged max, i love sassy max, i love soft and sweet max

oscar: i feel like the only reason he's not my no.1 is because lando and max were here first but omg he's close to overthrowing them. competent, a beast on the track, hilarious (if you think otherwise we can't be friends), the hair swoosh, everythingggg. every time people/fans/the media pit him against lando i lose years off my life but hey this is sports what can i do

you're growing on me:

george: i didn't care for him at all at first i was like oh this is alex's friend but omg why is he growing on me so much. consistent solid results, kimi's big brother, i'm starting to get his sense of humor, what is going on?? his powerpoint origin story is also too funny

charles: also confused as to why he's growing on me, i used to think the environment at ferrari the last couple of seasons was so toxic (which like it was) and i feel like this year it's fresher? also he's not as depressed so maybe that contributes, idk sports are weird

casual enjoyer (in no particular order)

lewis: objectively the best (professionally and as a person), i think he's not in the ride or die category because i never got to really see him in his prime (i got a taste during silverstone last season) so i never formed that emotional attachment, i lowkey don't care for his 8th wdc BUT i do want to see him succeed with ferrari i think it's gonna be so special

alex: wholesome man, solid driver, 10/10 insta dumps, lily's wag, no notes, i just don't have the energy to add him into the ride or die list

yuki: solid, great entertainment, i really wish him the best in that spiraling team pray for this man

carlos: at first i LOVED him because carlando but the amount of fighting that was going on between his fans and leclerc fans was honestly exhausting like i don't have the energy for that, love to see him thrive in williams tho he needs a break, also lowkey my crush ok sue me, also team 55 is simply too funny like at this point they're the main characters and he's the wag

pierre: this man is too funny and also puts in some great drives, underrated in my opinion

liam: ok edit I can’t believe I forgot to add him even tho I had a list of the drivers pulled up. solid driver, he got thrown into redbull too early so I don’t hold the start of the season against him, did I cry when he replaced daniel, yes, but I also get it. as someone whose fav movie is ratatouille, I respect his loyalty to cars

i'm rooting for you twin:

kimi: omg the wonderkid i've liked him since the prema days he's just too wholesome. i've fully adopted him, he's my child now

ollie: wowed me with his performance in saudi last year, also liked him since prema, i really want him to do good

isack: hilarious cutie patootie, i wish him the best, also north african solidarity bb i don't care what flag he drives under

no hate i just don't care (also in no particular order):

fernando: i don't get the appeal, sometimes he's funny tho

hulk: i tried ok, the haasbands were funny and i want him to get that podium, but i just don't have it in me

lance: go girl give us nothing? i respected his return after breaking his hand that was impressive but other than that he's just so meh

ocon: don't really care for him but also don't like all the unnecessary hate this man gets

jack: it's not really his fault i just want franco back

gabriel: i just haven't seen enough of him, he has potential to move up to casual enjoyer

if anyone would like to make a case for these drivers i'm all ears give me your unhinged thoughts

[eldritch-spouse]

HI AGAIN. Ever since I found your blog and also sent a totally normal ramble abt cannibalism I've been just. Gently tossing your guys back and forth in my head. You're a wonderful writer and I'm always excited to see you on my dash!!

Gonna throw my hat in as asking an actual question- How would your guys fare if their obsession had a particularly weird or morbid interest? I get the vibes that some of them would most certainly encourage it but I also feel like Vinnel would hit me with a hammer if I panic infodumped about ebola-

[Hellow, glad to see you again! Also, I know you probably just forgot, but "your guys" encompasses way too many characters to talk about at once, so I'll assume you were going for TCE staff.]

Morell especially likes hearing about your cannibalism infodumps. They're actually useful to him, since he's going to be living with you, and he needs to know what he can and can't feed you, as well as a possible child between you. It's actually interesting stuff, he'd like it if you talked about it to his family too, you're a smart piggy. Any other topics are usually met with less enthusiasm (unless kitchen/food related), and he'll ask you to quit it if you start talking too much about mushrooms. Overall, it's nice background noise to work to.

Patches is all about infodumping. In fact, you're subjected to it often too, even if he doesn't always stop to explain basic concepts you'd need to understand his rambling. He'll give you a recorder he has, so he can keep the sound of that boundless enthusiasm in your voice forever. He's much more participative than the others, asking various questions and tossing random scenarios at you that'll prompt you to learn even more. There's a potential he'll get distracted and stop working to just research this with you the whole day.

Gallon loves a weirdo -No offense- Feel free to dump all that morbidity on him, he soaks it up like a sponge (so does Martin, be careful). Although he prefers to let you speak unhindered, only egging you on when it seems you're getting passionately angry about things, there's a chance Gallon may begin his own little tidbit sharing regarding a variety of poisons and toxins. He's selective with what he lets slip, but figures it could interest you.

Santi likes listening to you. Doesn't matter what it's about. There's only one thing he doesn't want you to morbidly talk to him about, anything featuring kids. Other than that, you think a rant about the intricacies of cannibalism's effects will kill his mood? Hah, nice try. He usually doesn't have anything smart to say, but may actually pitch in with some first hand details if you mention something sexual and morbid.

Let's face it, this is going in one of Grimbly's eardrums and out the other. Unless, you can talk like you're in a true crime podcast, then he's all ears. Grimbly typically responds to these interests by bragging to others about how his Mommy's "so smart" and "cultured" and he learns so much with you! You should start a YouTube channel!

Nebul likes to hear what you think is morbid. He'll let you ramble when you've been good enough to earn his attention, or if it allows you to keep obeying him. He has his own morbidities to share with you, as a wraith who has seen the darkest parts of many a mind. Surely, you of all people would be fascinated to know how the brain reacts to very invasive types of trauma only some monsters can inflict...

Vinnel will use this to his advantage during shows. You're placed in dangerous games where the whole goal is for you to explain said morbid concepts to the audience while Vinnel or Jingles try to destabilize you so you'll fall into painful contraptions or get cut/bruised/undressed. Sometimes Vinnel pays attention to your infodumps, other times he openly doesn't, it's a coin toss.

Belo sincerely discourages you from seeking such dark information in your brain. A lesser's mind is like a canvas, and it shouldn't be furnished with such desolate knowledge... If your morbid interests somehow can shine a glimmer of positivity or utility, the angel will be a little more inclined to letting you keep pursuing these topics. Otherwise, Belo actively attempts to distract you.

Sybastian doesn't understand about 80% of what you're about to tell him, but he has all the time in the world to sit and listen to his favorite person spit words. He's not verbally communicative during these episodes, but he may clap depending on how impressive the information is, and he remembers things you say enough to sometimes present you with paraphernalia vaguely related to the topics of your morbid interests.

Fank-e is a good bet because he can add onto your information in real time, or correct small detail you may get them wrong. He's generally happy to give you links to more information sources and try to match your level of knowledge, uncaring of how dark the subject theme may be.

If there's one thing you can infodump to Krulu about, it would be diseases. Plagues and ailments of several types are his specialty, the chances of him imparting bits of knowledge you absolutely should not possess on this matter are high. Another thing you may infodump to him about is corvids. It gets him in very favorable moods, surprisingly.

[k3llyb3an]

Please tell me about Sir Pentious (your special snake man)!! OwO

2, 7, 12, and 24!!!

I let this sit for so long I forgot what numbers these questions pertained to and had to go digging through my nightmare of an untagged hellscape blog to find them again -- ALRIGHT LETS GO!!!

2. Favorite canon thing about this character?

My favorite canon thing about Sir Pentious is that by being in hell it's clear that however he lived his life, he wasn't a good person. But even though he's not a good person he's not a bad enough person to really succeed in any meaningful way when it comes to being in hell either.

There's a scene where the Vees -- who are all very successful at being their worst selves -- discuss putting a mole in the Hazbin Hotel and in prior scenes you can see the kind of lesser sinners who are all employed by them but still offer some sort of value to them. And then they discuss needing a sinner who's even more pathetic, more desperate and worth less than every down on their luck sinner they've already employed. Yet memorable enough in these qualities to immediately seek them out -- which ends up being Sir Pentious.

There's something very interesting to me about someone who wasn't a good enough person to end up topside but even when they try as hard as they can to indulge in their worst qualities they're not terrible enough to make any kind of impact in a place where terrible people thrive. It's a fun dichotomy to play with.

Charlie forgave him for betraying her trust in him and she was kind to him when he was at his lowest and there's something so endearing about him internalizing that second chance and that kindness and wanting to return it to her a thousand fold. He wanted to be a better person because she knew he could be a better person even if he wasn't able to see that himself in a place where you're encouraged to indulge every vice and flaw you have.

7. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?

Something the fandom does when it comes to Sir Pentious that I like is they all draw his human form with this black luxurious long hair and I'm so into it. It's anachronistic for his time period sure but I love designs that play around with physical and societal expectations of gender. If he doesn't have it in his human form canonly I'm going to be despondent. Also he needs some grey in there.

Also since he died when he was 40-something towards the end of the Victorian era everyone draws him with eyebags and sickly with visible cheekbones and it's so much more fun than seeing hot young tumblr twink #13245241.

And some of the fandom pretty much decided he's bottom heavy and a little overweight which I adore because I'm constantly craving some body type diversity -- and Hazbin Hotel is a canon that desperately needs it.

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?

A headcanon that I have for this character is that he was dumped in the room with the other seraphim because he shook up the order of things so much through his redemption that he is a seraphim now. His new form in heaven has a few attributes that both Emily and Sera have also seem to have?

Also Lucifer (who in this canon is supposed to be a fallen seraphim angel i think) and Sir Pentious have many qualities in common so they would be an interesting foil to one another as the seraphim who fell to hell with sinners and the sinner who rose to heaven as a seraphim.

And he kept his snake form when he ascended, is heavily associated with fire, and his most impressive invention is his zeppelin he used to fly around hell in which could all have been a nod to one of the meanings of seraphim being 'fiery flying serpent.'

If he's not that's fine too because I think being able to improve yourself as a person and letting love into your heart is peak but I think it would be a neat little perk for the first redeemed sinner in all perpetuity. Also it'd cause nothing but problems for heaven which I'd love.

24. What other character from another fandom of yours that reminds you of them?

Another character from another fandom that reminds you of them is… mmm. He's a little bit of feliks (silly and inventive) and a little bit of roderich (soft and quick to anger) and a little bit of francis (pathetic and romantic) if you ask me.

[your-queer-dad]

hi dad,

I want to start by saying your blog is amazing and you help so many people, I hope you know that xx.

I'm in a bit of a situation and I hope you can give me some advice (no worries what so ever not, I'm sure you get a lot of these haha).

So, I really struggle making friends, but I've had one good friend for a couple of years, A. She's absolutely amazing, even with all the shit I put her through (I sh and I'm pretty sure I have an Ed and I'm autistic so I have no social skills whatsoever, sometimes it feels like she's more of a carer than a friend even though I try to keep that stuff from impacting her too much. It not her responsibility and I don't want her worrying) (I'm in therapy, so you shouldn't worry either)

Anyway A is just a bit too kind for her own good, one of our old friends she really didn't like and neither did I, but we just kinda stayed friends with her until we found out that she SA'd a girl, we talked to her about it asking if it was true and then she kinda dumped us. We were both relived. (Me doubly so, because if she'd done it to someone else it was less likely it was my fault, but that another (long) story). And I hate that it fulfills all of the stereotypes for trans girls, and all of the thing my very conservative family had warned me about.

And now A still has a friend called J, now I don't like J and A knows this even though I still respect their friendship and will chat with J when they sit with us. Lately A has been complaining to me about things J does that annoys her and even told me that she thinks they may be lying about an instance of SA they reported, which is HUGE. I'd considered that J might be exaggerating some details but outright lying.... And A and J have been friends for over a decade. It makes me really glad that I haven't told her about my own experiences. But it also makes my very uncomfortable because I worry that she doesn't really like me either and is just too nice to say, she invited J for a sleepover for her birthday same as me, so she could secretly hate me, and some of the things she's been complaining about I do too.

And to make matters worse, I feel she's been pulling away recently (she even forgot my birthday, which I said was fine, she was stressed and I didn't want to make a big deal of it and I din't invite her over of anything which in hindsight was probably a bit rude I just didn't have the energy to do anything that wasn't necessary, or even something that were, K haven't showered in way too long haha, but I'm still a bit hurt that she forgot.) ,and we've been sitting with a wider group of people, who have all been very nice and welcoming. But As made quick friends with K, which makes me really insecure about our friendship even though I know it shouldn't and A is allowed and deserves friends outside of me. And K been very nice to me too, but we're not really friends yet. I doesn't help that A and K are very allosexual and alloromantic witch is something they can bond over and a way to prove that trust each other. I am aroace and very closeted even though the whole friendship group and school really is really accepting. I'm still, ashamed I guess, my families conservative and ice never said it out loud and I don't feel ready to tell them. But their talking out crushes and deepening their relationship and I want in, and I don't want to appear standoffish, and I want to listen I want to be a part of this part of there lives even if I don't fully understand.

But A didn't tell me about her crush she told K, and when K started gossiping about her crushes she asked me if I liked men and I just shrugged ten she asked me if I like women I said I don't know and she didn't bring it up again. And then later when we were talking out her taste in men she said it felt like something she should be talking to A about and I asked her why. She asked me if I ever had thought like those (she was talking about wanting to rip men suits off, eww, haha) and I said no. I guess I just feel really excluded and insecure and I'm worried that they don't like me(I have no social skills, I'm pretty stupid, I don't hide my SH well enough and I'd do anything for a laugh or a little bit if attention even drink salt water) ( yes I'm mentally ill how could you tell? Haha)

But I don't want to do anything about it , I don't want to tell them I'm aroace and in worried about talking to them more (incase I'm annoying or they actually don't like me) or less (in case a sabotage the relationship, or they forget me, or they think I'm being standoffish)

I know Abby knows I appreciate her friendship but I'm worried that K doesn't, because I know I appear standoffish. I was thinking about inviting K to go rock climbing with me cause I love going and A doesn't and it would give me a chance to make propper friends with K maybe enough to forgive my quirks haha. But she was talking to A the other day and the exact approach I planned to use (I want to go rock climbing do you want to go with me) was thrown out as a way to ask for a date. So I don't want to do that any more in case it's read wrong, I know K likes girls too and add that asking her on a 'date' to the fact that in uncomfortable talking about her dating life I'm worried conclusions will be drawn.

But I don't know what else to do, short of just falling behind and letting the friendships fall apart. I already know A saw J outside of school without me. Idk, I just don't want to be alone.

Anyway sorry for the long ass rant, I hope you can give me some advice but no worries if not. Hope you have a good week 😊.

Bye dad.

(I have just realised how much I love brackets 🤣)

Hey kiddo! Thank you so much for reaching out! Honestly I think your plan to spend some one on one time with K and become better friends with her is a really good idea. I would also recommend maybe sharing your feelings about your friendship with Abby and communicating?

- dad x

[my-castles-crumbling]

Hi there!

I hope you’re doing well, i love your blog and i think you’re a very cool person.

I have a bit of a problem and i was hoping i could get some advice from you about it

So basically last year i had a really hard time at school due to my terrible mental health. I don’t want to go into too much detail but i just felt horrible and i struggled with some very bad thoughts

I asked to go to a psychologist, and i was allowed to go, but only a few times before my parents decided it was too expensive for me to keep going (i did tell them multiple times how bad i felt, but they didn’t take me seriously)

At the same time as that was going on, my sibling was also having a tough time, but they received more support from our parents than I ever did (this isn’t that relevant, but I just feel salty about it so i included it)

Now i feel a bit better, but i’m scared when the school year starts again i’ll start getting bad again. I know i have to start doing better at school because it’s my last year and i need to get into a good university. That’s why I desperately need to get myself together and just magically feel better.

But then again, getting better is kind of hard, and i don’t have much support with that - i’m still a minor, so i can’t go to a therapist without my parents’ permission, and i know they probably won’t let me go if i ask. I can’t talk to my parents about my mental health anymore after how they treated me when i talked to them about it last time, and i don’t have any other trusted adult to go to about this.

I do have my friends though, and while i am extremely grateful that they’re there for me, i am scared that it won’t be enough and that i’ll have another mental breakdown in a few months

Do you have any advice for me on how to cope with stuff? All i need is to get through the next year and then once i go to uni i can actually seek professional help. Until then, is there anything I could do to make myself feel better?

Thanks so much for your help and i’m sorry to dump this on you, i’m just getting a bit desperate

lots of love from a stranger on the internet 💗

Hi hon!

I'm so sorry that you're struggling with this.

So I think this time around you have a bit of an advantage, because you know the things that trigger you and you can be proactive. If you feel yourself getting depressed, use the positive coping skills you have. But also, make sure to use them before you need them. Plan for lots of time for self-care. It might feel like a waste, but you're preventing being in the space you were in before.

If you find yourself in a spot like you were before, there are a lot of online help centers that you can use- the people on these help lines are trained. They aren't professionals like therapists are, but they are trained in a crisis and they can be helpful in a pinch, especially if you know you can get better help in the future.

Also- keep that in mind. You have hope in the future. Make a countdown on your phone and remind yourself that things will get better.

Edited to add: someone wrote to remind me- schools have counselors! Wow, it really is summer, I completely forgot to add this. Does your school have a counselor you'd be comfortable talking to? They can be very helpful to vent to and to help you with coping skills and manage school stress!

You can do this, and I'm here of you need to talk! <3

Naming you support anon!

[kyogre-blue]

SS continues. Seteth is handsome and I think I would be okay with this normally, but I played VW first and Claude was cuter.

Not to be mean, but that's pretty much literally the only difference so far. Off screen Claude even supporting character magics us into getting the same reinforcements in the same place and going to the same next map. (I tell Seteth I want to go to the Kingdom this time. Seteth says no. I feel like at least Claude didn't pretend I had options. Did I just agree with him on everything...? That is also possible.)

It's kind of... even some of Seteth's lines don't seem to be intended for him. I heard from interview that SS was written first, so I figured that playing it would make VW feel like a reskin, but I dunno if it's the order I did them in, but tbh VW so far feels a more "natural" progression, Edelgard stuff aside.

Aside from that, using church units on the church route has some funny effects like that one general going "your army of children," but I'm actually... using almost entirely adults...

Live blogging notes:

Oh, I didn't notice, but the "village" where we wake up is in ruins. There are burnt remnants and half-collapsed brick walls in the background.

Interesting point: I didn't keep track of the months before, but now I see we fell asleep in March 1181 but wake up in December 1185. I kinda thought it would be the same months, but it's not.

Edelgard's tone at the reunion is...... hum. Not very emotive? Don't get me wrong, Claude doesn't exactly get worked up much either, but Edelgard has a lot more personal stakes in all this, and she should really have a deeper investment in regard to Byleth. It was like this when they parted ways in Garreg Mach too.

Edelgard says "friend from our Black Eagle days have chosen to join me in the fight ahead." But that's... hum. First, why is it a fight ahead for her? She's been fighting for 5 years and is winning, according to the info dump. Second, did the students actually join her? I got them all killed, so I won't know either way, but my impression is that this is not actually the case to begin with.

Edelgard is using a wavy sword... Levin Sword?

Kinda meh sword battle scene.

The fact that Edelgard is older than Byleth now... haha. Claude switches to calling you "my friend" but Edelgard is still pushing the teacher angle.

The info dumps about the political situation post timeskip are slightly different all around, but the only real difference seems to be that Lorenz leads the Empire supporter faction in the Alliance, which iirc was not the case in VW. That checks out. Dimitri is still presumed dead and Faerghus is a Dukedom.

Flayn says she forgot something at the Holy Mausoleum, where we meet up with her... Not sure what this is about. (Update: She and Seteth hang around there later too. Really not sure why.)

SS savefile has the banner I presume Claude also makes you use in VW - kinda blue-grey background with a pink Crest of Flames.

Lol, I killed everyone, but the chapter crawl still says students from the Black Eagle house are working with the Church. Instead I recruited all the Church units, so they show up to help in the new month.

War phase SS has the same monastery music and yellow skybox as VW. Kinda disappointed, tbh. I was (vainly) hoping that each route would get something a little different.

I did notice that they have wooden construction equipment type structures in a lot of places, which I didn't realize before. I guess it's supposed to show how the monastery is in a rundown, damaged state, but even seeing it, I don't think it works too well.

Shamir says that Dagda was "destroyed" ten years ago.

Seteth has been refusing Hanneman's requests for 21 years. So even though Flayn came to the monastery very recently, Seteth has been around for long enough that his physical age is going to start looking weird lol (his info on Serenes Forest says he's physically 27). Notably though, he and Jeralt didn't know each other (iirc), so based on the timeline, Seteth came pretty much immediately after Jeralt faked Byleth's death and disappeared. I wonder if it was because Rhea would have been "in a state" about Byleth's supposed death (and the loss of Sothis's crest stone).

There are no records of anyone except Seteth having a Major Crest of Cichol. In fact, it seems like there's probably no one who has a crest of Cichol at all. Seteth says he is a commoner and has no idea how he ended up with a crest. Hanneman when Byleth says the exact same thing, while being just as sus:

There's some cliff rubble on the monastery defense map... looks like there was a rockslide during the Imperial attack.

The fact that I've forgotten half of VW already is making this a little more tolerable, but looking at the chapter list for VW, we did have a monastery defense map before going to get Judith's troops, and in SS we are...... also going to get Judith's troops.

There's some snippets about how Judith and Daphnel have mostly remained out of Imperial attention and how Judith is a devout follower of the Seiros faith, but tbh it feels out of place here compared to VW.

Oh, there's a spy. Man, was this in VW? I remember nothing.

I've seen this mentioned in fic, but the quest for the Almyran merchant in disguise mentions a Nader bear (which is an Armored Bear Stuffy in your inventory). The thing you give him is "Zoltan's Beast Idol" that mentions the famous craftsman Zoltan who was believed to have made only weapons. I wonder if there's some weapon in the game that was made by him?

Seteth repeats the legend about Ailell being caused by the goddess's wrath after a battle there long ago. Which... is a weird thing, given that he should theoretically know the actual cause -- Agarthan missiles getting deflected from the monastery by the protections on the Holy Tomb.

Oh, Judith suggests she's helping because Claude asked her to. My sus man <3

Reiterating that the Oghma mountains are to the south of the monastery and between it and the Empire. You can't enter the monastery from the Empire directly. You have to go through the Kingdom or the Alliance.

Why do they give you the choice between east and west approaches?? I picked west because I already saw the Alliance stuff, but Seteth just directly shoots you down...

Claude continues to be a proper side character by giving us a way to get into the Empire through the Alliance. "I don't know exactly why, but I feel that I can trust you," my dude, it's because you are a side character who exists to fill the needs of the plot. It's the damn bridge again. SIGH

Also, I was worried for a moment when I couldn't talk to Ashe, but apparently you don't need to. Just kill him and he magically survives. There isn't even a little scene about him coming back or anything...?

[karmathehalflander]

Broad character rewrites in MV in quick bulleted list form: -Michael, Taylor, Ostin, Hatch, Sharon (Michael's mom), Zeus, McKenna: Broadly fine as they are, but willing to play by ear for taste

-Jack: The plan was to rewrite his introduction to come from the opposite angle where instead of a bully, he has a reputation of the school 'fixer' who can get you what you want if you pay the price, he has more of a criminal-y vibe early on but it turns out he's really not bad and he waives the fee for the drive to California upon hearing it's to rescue Michael's mom. He still has a military big bro who he learned a lot from but make it less of a 'man, the Marines are so cool!' thing just because I don't like US imperialism

-Wade: Backport most of his RotE/BotA characterization of being slightly more cowardly into PoC25's events, make it clear he's got a gay crush on Jack that he keeps to himself until the blog is revealed in BotA

-Quentin: More early screen time (have him tag along with Tara when she's giving Taylor the tour? Make their relationship shockingly healthy despite the whole sitch?), ongoing subplot, maybe explain why he's the leader of the group more/earlier

-Tara: Play down her earlier sadism, make it clearer that her might-makes-right worldview is something she's adopted to make Hatch happy/like her

-Nichelle: Also downplay the sadism a hair, though don't erase it because I still want it to be there when she joins the Electroclan later for a 'well I'm glad she's on our side now' moment-possibly give her some occasional check-ins at the taco job we find her working at during HfJD? So she comes less out of nowhere. Maybe introduce RESAT tech in development during PoC25 that makes her nervous about being tossed aside so that explains why Hatch dumps her so quickly. -Tanner, Grace: They're probably mostly fine, Tanner has an interesting little arc as The One With A Conscience even if he's not used much, and Grace is Fine as a flat character, not everyone can be fleshed out.

-Bryan, Kylie: Just give them a bit more than 'the dumb one' and 'the materialistic one'. -Ian: He really needs more to do. I mean, he does a lot, a lot of spotting and info-giving, but he has the least personality of the Dungeon Trio. I'd honestly play up his role of the pessimist of the trio to balance out McKenna's optimism and Abi's hesitancy.

-Abi: I do like her role as the nervous one who doesn't like fighting but i feel like that sidelines her into the Shy Healer (kind of) archetype. Maybe play her up as the moral core of the group a bit, make her more able to stand up for her beliefs?

-Torstyn: Absolutely make him less of a maniac so his heel-face turn goes down smoother, give him a few mentions as being Away during PoC25 for foreshadowing purposes (Tessa and Cassie, I need to swirl around in my head a bit more. and I do have random other thoughts, this is just like, basic stuff 2 me)

I love that angle for jack! It would make me much more sympathetic to his character and make him much more interesting overall. I think he would be a nice guy but kinda fall into somewhat shady stuff out of necessity.

Wade needs more character and his death would affect me much more if he did. 

I genuinely didn’t feel like Tara had a redemption arc it was like she joined them and everyone just forgot how sadistic she acted. 

I love Nichelle and any more characterization would be awesome!

Ian desperately needs more character! I love him and there’s so much missed potential! He would tell dark jokes and be pessimistic but I imagine he would be generally pretty chill in serious situations. 

Abi would work well as a moral center I feel like that kind of character was desperately needed. The story would have been much more balanced that way.

[adventurous-adventures]

January 5 2024

First session of the new year! Let's get into it!

We spent ages just going through out-of-context quotes we had collected from various places.

"SUCK SUCK SUCK SUCK" Mick dying from the sucking. "Maybe not do that to the person who spilt their drink last year.

River Lea and Raven dump Orc corpses at the butcher: "Wait… what is this guys race?" "Oh god, he's not an orc right?"

Did we mention they are naked? The human butcher is hauling naked Orcs to the back of his freezer.

Oop! An opportunity to get more Australi- I mean Orc Meat.

DM.exe is not responding.

Town Master is pretending not to be home to deal with us.

Juniper threatened to break in and enter through the broken window (courtesy of Cryovain)

Yeah the town master hates us now. (I am not surprised)

Bill Neigh the Cowboy Guy!

"Georgie, stop breaking the DM!" I'm on notes today… 👋Hi! Also, I'm making little quips

We now can't stop laughing at saying we're selling Orc meat.

Mr. Wester is a fucking pussy making us do shit while he hides in his broken house.

(Pussy autocorrected to Pussy-cat and I don't know what's funnier)

Bill and his horse having a Flynn Rider and Maximus 'when he looks at me and I look at him' moment.

Bill and Town Master have similar accents.

Looks like the Orcs are Arsonist but in a Minecraft sense.

River Lea is banned from her dead ex's bakery for obvious reasons.

"Firecunt"… can we say cunt on here because we're kiwi? (Lara here, I say yeah. Our blog, we can do what we want)

they exit with a basket full of bread (of different shapes) and a cheese wheel the size of Juniper.

"What's that jerky made out of?" "Beef" "Are you sure about that?"

The butcher is traumatised so much that the DM forgot Juniper and Iphigenia did not come in with that Orc meat.

Debating who will mount what creature together. Enter Alistair with a shipping chart. Dewdrop & Alistair are plotting.

*insert shipping chart here*

Going back to the Farmer's house.

"Say boyfriend! Say boys! Say boyfriend!" Zain, 2024 in relation to getting the DM to refer to Raven in his dialogue to his child.

Juniper is canonically unhinged (slay). She may be a cleric but she will say unhinge shit to get a rise out of each other.

During our second long rest: "Do you want me to roll perception again?" "Ummm." *rolls dice* "Yes." "I don't like those sounds"

A long rest later: BOOM white cow.

"You notice some bodies on the ground" Everyone chants 'let the bodies hit the floor'.

"Oh look! Orc meat." "They are swarming with flies." "… We're not touching those!"

Australian Orcs have returned.

Zain mispronounced Satyr to Satire.

We bonded with the Orcs over Racism. For once violence wasn't the answer.

Iphigenia is going to pull the dead sister card to get the Town Master to agree to get the folks of Phandalin to help rebuild the ghost town for the orcs

In the tune of Do You Wanna Build a Snowman: 🎶Dewdrop, do you wanna fuck an Orc?🎶

Is Alistair a Furry?

Bonus:

Here is Juniper vs the image the DM had in his head when Juniper and Iphigenia returned with bread and cheese

[sunless-seas]

I haven’t used this tumblr in years but i’m gonna start repurposing it into my doodle / ship / r18 blog so feel free to unfollow it or whatever

if you wanna stick around tho i’ll have more ffxiv content soon!! of my WoL, my Azem, and also my bestie’s oc 

[hawkins-losers]

Burnt toasts, his place | Steve Harrington x Reader

Summary: Sometimes, love can be heard in the silence

Word count: 0.5k

Request: Can you do you are in love with Steve please

A/N: So sad this song isn’t on the canadian version of 1989...

-

The sky was dark and filled with stars as Steve drove through the streets of Hawkins, one hand on the steering wheel and his other holding yours on the middle console. Getting coffee and donuts at midnight probably wasn't the smartest idea, but the light of the streetlamps reflected the chain on your neck - a present from Steve - as you made small talk and, at this very moment, you felt happy.

Unsurprisingly, after that coffee, you couldn't fall asleep. So you laid awake in the darkness of Steve's bedroom.

The light of the moon was coming in through the window, casting a soft light in the room. You could see the picture of you Steve kept on his nightstand, a random polaroid of your smile and sparkling eyes. There was a photo-booth strip right next to his alarm, a mementos from your most recent date.

‘’Good thing neither of us have to work in the morning,’’ Steve pointed out beside you, feeling the effect of coffee.

You giggled, then felt his arms snake around you, peppering kisses on your shoulder and neck. A smile curled on your lips, basking in your lover’s embrace until sleep took you.

When morning came, you woke up to an empty bed. Steve's spot was semi-warm, meaning he hadn’t been up for long.

‘’Steve?’’

No response.

You sat up and slipped on your fuzzy socks, the floor getting cold now that winter was approaching. You were sad to leave the comfort and warmth of the expensive blankets, but by the burnt smell that suddenly filled your nose, something was waiting for you downstairs.

‘’Shit shit shit,’’ you heard Steve say as you approached the kitchen, the burning scent getting stronger.

‘’Steve?’’ you called out.

His bare back was turned to you as he tried to get the very dark toasts out of the toaster with his fingers, burning himself in the process. You told him to unplug the toaster and use a knife many times, but he never listens.

He dumped the burnt toasts on the counter, past the edible state, and turned around to face you with an apologetic face. ‘’Sorry I burned the toasts. I was trying to make fresh orange juice, but the machine was wonky and I forgot about the toast…’’ he explained, a little embarrassed by the situation and feeling terrible for ruining breakfast.

You shook your head, laughing lightly. ‘’It’s okay. You still kept your promise, you made breakfast.’’

He wasn’t a master chef, but he tried.

You crossed the kitchen to meet him. Automatically, Steve's arms wrapped around you, loving that you were wearing his old Tigers tee shirt to bed, as yours snaked around his neck, bathing in the morning warmth.

You nestled your face in Steve's neck, knowing today was Sunday and that you’ll have to go home tonight.

‘’Do you want french toast instead? I’ll try not to burn them.’’ A soft laugh spilled out of you and he pinched your side. ‘’Don’t laugh. Not all of us had parents to teach them how to cook.’’

You pulled back, giving your man a look. ‘’Babe, it’s toast. Toasts are not that hard to make.’’

Steve gave in, laughing at himself and his poor cooking skills. ‘’Okay, okay.’’ His brown eyes were glimmering in the sunlight, looking down at you with a look that was meant just for you. ‘’So, do you want french toasts or..?’’

You closed the space between you, pecking Steve’s lips quickly. ‘’Yes!’’

You were so in love with this boy.

-

Taglist: @broadway-or-noway @violetsleftfist @thelaststraw3  @cursedandromedablack  @Slashersimpfor  @savagejane1   @wh0reforbucknasty   @eddiemunson-slut   @slvdsjjk  @hehehehannahthings  @dreamdancers-world  @grace-loux  @iamharrystyleslover  @matildavol6  @Original_babababoo  @eddiemunsonbby  @notbeforelong  @lexi-2004 @violetrainbow412-blog  @tatespillows  @alwayslexii  @lilygreennn   @milkiane  @imahomeslice  @bunnygrl16 @cwritesforfun @marauders3rawh0re  @your-mom21 @parkersmyth @voguesir @milkiane @andrewgarfields-girlfriend @lilygreennn @alexxavicry @charlie-chick  @wandamaximoffs-deadchild  @horrorstreet  @rmeddar123  @Pastel-abyss-x @lil-tracys  @lanalanabanana @Sinclairlust  @luvmybbies  @chloepricesgrafitimarker  @inluvweddiemunson   @i-like-trains  

Steve Harrington taglist: @dylanstilinskiposts  @captainbuckyyy12  @valevalentyne  @yourfavoriteakutagawakinnie  @heizenka  @eddie_munsons_girlfriend @scarlet-kazuha @uhidklol-26 @magicalchocolatecheesecake @swiftbyul @Fandomfaeryreads @harrys-tittie  @tinfoilhat2719 @straycatarang @wayfaring----stranger @starstruckspring @fourlokiss @mi-amoree1111 @starshipsxx  @ghoulishlygrey @bubsonnobx  @truewdw1 @bubsonnobx @ohhrexella  @Dreamtiara  @pastelbabygirl19  @steves-robin @eddiemunsonbby  @evanstanwhore @bootlegmothman420   @courtmr  @nia-um   @strangermarvelgirl  @fandomloversvaries  @missmaxmayfield  @m1rkw00dpr1ncess  @Minksblog  @soph69420world @truewdw1  @crying-caro  @nancewheelersworld  @nluvwitheddiemunson @veniceb1tch88 @hcloangcls

[ilikekidsshows]

What make you think is stoping Fu from telling cat anything? He seems fine telling Marinette even train her to be the next guardian but he constantly neglect cat as if he doesn't exist. Syren only has him come out because ladybug nudge him. It feels like he forgot he has two chosen instead of just one.

Ooooh, shit, look at the time, it's Dunking on Fu Hours on this blog again! (I kid, I'll try to be fair.)

A big part of Fu's refusal to deal with Cat Noir is that he didn't even want to have the one student he did end up accepting. When Tikki needs treatment in season one, Fu pretends to be some kind of vet so that Marinette won't be coming back to him with questions or anything. When it was time for him to reveal himself to Marinette, he only did so because the grimoire couldn't be left not dealt with. And even then it seems that he didn't tell Marinette much about the work he did on translating the grimoire. 'Syren' is not only an important episode to Fu's relationship with Adrien, because it's also when Marinette solves a problem Fu couldn't solve himself. That's when he decides there's worth in training Marinette.

Fu is one of the worst mentors I've ever seen in media, and a lot of that is because he doesn't want to be a mentor. However, even after he starts mentoring Marinette, he doesn't do a good job of it. He leaves Marinette floundering a lot. She has to come up with an excuse to Cat Noir for why he isn't allowed to know anything, she has to prove herself at every turn to Fu, while Fu never praises her or seems to appreciate her efforts. The only time he told Marinette he believes in her to her face is right before he wipes his memories and dumps all of his duties on Marinette for her to take care of.

Fu's approach to being the Guardian was a weird combination of not putting enough effort and letting it consume him. Fu didn't try to do anything to change the status quo of the lost Miraculous and fallen Order for a century. He spent that entire time hiding and running away. And yet, despite him showing these signs of not wanting to have anything to do with the Miraculous, he wears Wayzz as a constant companion around his wrist. This could just be the loneliness of his advanced age setting in, because in 'Backwarder' we saw that he was unwilling to let the Miraculous out of their box for any reason before present day, even a war that, at the time, was believed to be the war that would end all wars simply because of how devastating it was.

An unrelated side note: actually, in both Marvel and DC universes, the first superheroes in history started their careers during the World Wars and the present day heroes are following their legacy. Miraculous, though, showed us, for a fact, that there weren't superheroes back then, and why.

Fu has spent his entire life running away from his mistake, and hiding his mistake. Even his heroic sacrifice at the end of season three was him running away. He'd left a locker with "in case of my death or disappearance" instructions for Marinette. He'd been planning to fly the coop. This comes back to the theme of self-actualization I like to discuss on this blog. Fu had no one to answer to, but also no one to turn to for guidance. This left him forever in the state of a lost child, not knowing what to do even after he gained age and wisdom, and too scared to try to affect things around him. Fu had all the power to make all the decisions regarding the Miraculous, and that frightened him so much that he refused to make any for as long as he could.

Those are the general characterization reasons for why I think Fu left Cat Noir without any attention. Things more to do with Cat Noir personally are pure speculation, because Fu and Adrien don't have a relationship in the show to dissect, but I'll make some educated guesses. One, while Marinette is extremely respectful of authority figures (since she'd mostly had good experiences with them before Fu), Adrien is very suspicious of authority figures and could have easily picked up on the fact that Fu has no idea what he's talking about. Two, while both of the kids can be willful, Marinette keeps it back more because she has more faith in people. Adrien, on the other hand, is constantly testing what he can get away with, so Fu might have decided he'd be a handful, he certainly can't get Adrien to fall in line in 'Party Crasher'. Three, Adrien's partner is Plagg and Fu just doesn't want to deal with Plagg any more than he has to. Four, and the most cynical approach, is that, from Fu's perspective, Adrien didn't seem to have anything to offer Fu in return for teaching, while Marinette can solve Fu's problems and fix Fu's mistakes (as shown in 'Syren' and 'Feast' respectively).

[cae-ruleam]

some trans!danny headcanons just because

or more like lgbt because this dude's definitely bi you cannot sway my mind. i need to dump these hcs somewhere people.

kind of a long blog i'm sorry.

i think danny realized his stance on gender quite early. probably early years of elementary school or smth. what i'm trying to get to with this is that his classmates could literally not care less and most probably didn't even realize the change. danny just became the standard instead of dani very soon.

jazz helped him most with his transition when he was a tween and helped him come out to their parents some years prior.

i like an idea i read just recently how jack goes "oh, danny-boy sounds great, son!" i love jack. he would definitely be like this.

jazz is definitely also the one who did the research on transitioning. danny knew she would help him with those things and he can't be bothered with them if she's already up for it anyway so he never told her to stop lol.

he probably eventually does some research on his own, though. both because some things are hard to ask/explain and because jazz didn't want to invade his privacy too much, especially as they got older.

the first time they go out to buy "boys' clothes" danny was so excited he probably throws all applicable aisles upside down ngl. they get told off for it by some store clerks later but they humor the kids all the way anyway. it's just what they have to say according to the rules.

when dash finds out, he will threatens to "stuff you into a locker just like i do fenton if you misgender him". it works really well and dash stays the only one to stuff him into lockers and hang him to flagpoles, just because "he's a loser".

very little changes between their dynamic which danny is honestly grateful for. although he could've gone without the bullying, but it's just whatever. however, down the line danny does notice that dash will be more careful with him and rarely has his hands near his chest.

literally every ghost understands him. even the most violent and evil of ghosts will beat up people who dare misgender him.

danny insists to both dash and ghosts that he can definitely handle himself though. but both threats already keep people enough at bay so he really doesn't have to anyway.

that, and amity park's small. there's very few people who had to be intimidated at all.

after years of being a half ghost and getting more used to and knowledgeable on ghost culture and practices, he'd probably reconsider his gender identity. this because i firmly believe most ghosts don't have a perception of gender. no one judges based on physical appearance considering there's so many ways people can die resulting in vastly different ghostly appearances.

that, and c'mon. they're dead. gender is the least of their afterlife concerns.

he'll still feel more masculine than anything, but the way no other ghosts ever judge him based on, well, literally anything a human would he starts feeling a bit of detachment from the concept of gender in general.

sooo what im trying to say is, demiboy danny? yes, demiboy danny all the way.

he might vibe with he/they because of this realization hmm.

looking back on when dash threatens people for danny's sake, he realizes that's probably when he found out he has a thing for other dudes too. something about him being so caring struck his heartstrings, much to his dismay. not like he'll ever admit this to anyone willingly.

i think jazz is definitely also sapphic. all girls are sapphic, they definitely give that vibe. anyway, the fenton siblings will often talk about their (celebrity) crushes together during their puberty years when hormones run amock.

while jazz is the one who does the research, sam probably helps him with all binder related stuff. she teaches him how to bind safely and reminds him at school to not wear it for too long after school or else it'll be dangerous.

idk why but i feel like sam would have some experience or at least knowledge on binders.

i think he's very confident in his identity and with himself. he may care about what people think of him sometimes, but his gender identity is not one of the things he cares about what others' opinions are.

he probably goes on T when he start's high school? he becomes more of a beanpole than he already was.

"you think you have it hard? im trans, gay and most of all DEAD. the universe didn't even let me pick a struggle." (/s) - is probably something he would say.

edit: i forgot this but i think danielle will decide to go by elle instead of dani to avoid verbal confusion but also because she knows that's what danny went by in the past. she respects this part of him a lot and decided against going by dani partially because of that.

[shewhohangsoutincemeteries]

oasis

Peter Quill x Reader

Prompt: “can we share the blanket?”

Summary: quill catches you building a blanket fort to surprise groot with, and surprises you by helping. the two of you decide to test it out before the crew get back, and he shows you a side of him you haven’t really seen before.

Warnings: smut, fluff, hint of angst, oral sex (female receiving), vaginal sex, adult language.

Word Count: 4,486

Got a Request? Prompt List: here

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You were humming quietly along with the dulcet sound of the Fleetwood Mac you’d left playing over the ship’s speakers, enjoying the way it echoed lightly down the metal walls of the corridor towards you. You made your way down to the cargo bay of the Benatar, your arms piled high with the sheets and blankets you’d just pilfered from your bunk. You cursed quietly to yourself as the toe of your slipper caught on a seam in the floor, tripping you up slightly as you went. Still, it did nothing to dull your good mood.

You dumped the blankets on the floor once you reached the quiet corner of the cargo bay you’d selected earlier, joining the stacks of pillows you’d already brought out between two shoulder-high storage crates. You smiled, pleased with yourself, releasing a happy sigh before setting about your self-appointed task. You never got hours like this, peaceful, simple moments without the sounds of crewmates arguing or the clattering of metal on metal. You loved your life with the Guardians, but that didn’t mean that you didn’t sometimes crave the quiet.

You bent over, searching through the stack of blankets for the biggest.

“Not that I mind the view, but you wanna tell me what you’re doing with my bedding?”

You jumped, startled, before arching your neck to look back over your shoulder. Peter Quill was standing behind you, leaning his shoulder against the ladder to the cockpit with his arms folded across his chest. He’d removed his jacket since re-boarding, the short sleeves of his tee shirt showcasing the muscles in his arms. He had an eyebrow raised in wry amusement, a trademark smirk on his lips. You rolled your eyes at him before turning back to what you were doing, unsure if you’d imagined his gaze lingering over your backside.

“Your bedding is safe. This is all from crew quarters,” you assured him. Both you and Mantis struggled with the cold of the ship when you were off world, so you’d made it a mission even before she’d joined the crew to always have more than enough blankets on board. They’d kind of become bulky souvenirs of the planets you visited, and you usually kept them stacked in a locker in the corner of the bunk you shared with her and Gamora. Thankfully now that you’d all upgraded to the Benatar, you had more space – while Quill, as captain, still had his own private quarters, there was now an extra bunk for Drax, Rocket and Groot to use. You glanced down at the pillow in front of you. “…and a few from the medical supply crate.”

“What, you finally got sick of hearing Drax’s snoring through the wall?”

You turned around to face him properly, sitting cross-legged on the floor. “Are you kidding? It’s like white noise to me now. I don’t think I could ever sleep again without an active sawmill present.” Quill chuckled. “What are you doing back? You guys only left like an hour ago.”

He shrugged. “Xandar gets boring fast.”

It was your turn to raise a brow. “There’s a whole planet out there full of gullible idiots, pretty women with loose morals, and plentiful booze. What more could you want?”

“Wow.” he snickered. “I feel seen.”

You laughed, shaking your head. “So? Why couldn’t all the wonders of Xandar’s seedy underbelly hold your attention, Star Lord?”

He ignored the question, the easy smile still on his lips. “The hell are you doing, Y/N?”

“Why don’t you come join me and find out?”

He gave you a smirk, the glint in his eyes mischievous. “Can we share the blanket?”

“I think there’s more than enough to go around,” you said dryly, and his smile widened. Your impatient answers to his flirty remarks always seemed to entertain him. Which was probably why he kept doing it. “But that would be the idea.”

“Huh?”

You pulled one of the pillows to your chest and wrapped your arms around it. “It’s a surprise. For Groot.”

“Is he sick of Drax’s snoring?”

You rolled your eyes good-naturedly, standing and shaking out one of the largest, heavier quilts. You flung it over the crates, letting it hang over them like a canopy. “I’m building him a pillow fort, jackass.”

“A pillow fort.”

“Yup.”

“A pillow fort.”

You gave him an exasperated look. “Quill.”

“Why exactly?”

“C’mon, dude.” you said, tossing a pillow at him. He caught it, one-handed, with a grin. “Didn’t you ever build a pillow fort as a kid?”

Peter was quiet for a moment before he made a show of rolling his eyes and shrugging. Still, a small smile teased at the corner of his lips. “Want a hand?”

***

You sighed in satisfaction, wiping your hands together as you surveyed your work. The two of you had, on his suggestion, shoved the crates back against the wall, and in the little alcove you’d created together was one hell of a pillow fort. You’d draped sheets and blankets over the entire thing and layered more over the metal floor. Pillows had been thrown into haphazard piles, making the whole thing seem like some kind of gaudy, cozy nest. Quill had surprised you by rigging the string of lights he and Rocket sometimes used to do repairs at night to a much lower brightness and had hung them around the makeshift tent like the fairy lights you’d had as a kid.

“I think it’s safe to say that we nailed it.” you said proudly, holding up a hand. Peter grinned beside you, slapping it with his own in a high-five. “Groot is gonna love it. Storytime was always better in a fort when I was a kid.”

“Wanna try it out?”

You grinned widely at him, and the two of you dropped to your knees at the same time. Peter held the ‘door’ open for you, letting it drop closed behind him as he crawled inside after you. You turned to collapse happily among the cushions, sighing contentment as you stretched out languidly. Peter took a similar position beside you; the two of you barely fit inside, his shoulder bumping against yours. You bent your knees and drew them up towards you to bring them inside the fort, and you hooked one over one of his. He had his bent as well, and your foot dangled a couple of inches off the floor. He tucked his hand behind his head, looking over at you with an amused smile.

“Comfy?”

Peter looked up, considering the fort. “Y’know, I don’t think we made it big enough.”

You furrowed your brow, turning your head to look at him. “What d’you mean? Groot and I will be fine in here.”

He shrugged. “I’m just sayin’, we barely fit in here as it is…”

“Why, Peter Ignatius Quill,” you said teasingly, laughing when he cocked an eyebrow at you. “Are you saying that you want to join us for story time?”

“You know that’s not my middle name, right?”

“I blanked.” you admitted with a shrug. “What is it?”

He laughed loudly, the sound breaking through the peaceful bubble the two of you had created between the blankets. “It’s Jason!”

“My bad,” you giggled, shying away from his as he reached out to poke you in the side. “It was the first thing I thought of!”

“Think of something cooler next time!”

“Alright, alright…” you surrendered, turning your head towards him and reaching over to prod his arm with a fingertip. “But don’t dodge the question. Are you – the big, bad, space pirate leader of the Guardians of the Galaxy—saying you would like to come read children’s stories with me and Groot?”

“It is such a turn on when you start describing me like that.”

You rolled your eyes. “Shut up.”

“Seriously, I get all tingly, all the way down to my—"

“You’re still avoiding the question.” you said pointedly, cutting him off. He breathed a quiet chuckle as you did, his bottom lip catching between his teeth. “Story time?”

“Well, why not?”

“You know we’ve moved past picture books, right?”

He smacked you lazily on the bicep with the back of his hand by way of retort, letting his hand fall back to rest on his stomach. He interlocked his fingers above his belt buckle, the picture of casual relaxation. Your leg was still thrown over his, your calf pressed against his inner thigh. His gaze returned to the canopy above, and you studied the angle of his jaw absentmindedly, your eyes tracing along the dusting of strawberry blonde stubble that seemed darker in the muted light. “I spent a good chunk of my quality time building this stupid thing, I should get some use out of it.”

You raised a cynical brow, amused. The two of you never could help but poke at each other with childish barbs and banter, maybe even more so than the two of you dished it out to the other members of the crew. Maybe it was a reflex at this point, but it was still always entertaining. You affected an offended tone as you spoke again, even with a smile on your face. “Well, if you think it’s so stupid, why’d you spend all this time on it?”

“It’s not…” Peter sighed, shaking his head. “Sorry. It’s not stupid. It’s just…”

Your brow furrowed as you watched him struggle to find the words. You sobered, surprised that he hadn’t caught you in your joke. Instead, he seemed… flustered. “Quill?”

“You know, I forgot about it ‘til now.” he said ruefully, almost disbelievingly. He raised a hand to run his fingers through his hair. “…I used to build these when I was a kid.”

“Yeah…” you said slowly, confused. “I mean, a lot of kids did…”

He sighed, shaking his head. “No, I mean when my Mom got sick.”

“Oh.”

It was all you could think to say.

“It got… it got really hard, once she was hospitalized.” he said, a small, sad smile playing on his lips. His voice was soft and thoughtful, almost as if he’d forgotten you were there. Even so many years later, you could hear the thread of pain in his words. He reached up to touch his fingers to the edge of one of the blankets. “I built one of these one night, and basically never left it. I’d tuck myself away in it for hours with my Walkman and just ignore the rest of the world. Got to the point where I didn’t even come out for meals; Grandpa had to drag me outta there every day for school.”

You hesitated a moment before reaching over slowly and covering his hand with your own. “Peter…”

His eyebrows twitched upward as he looked down at your hand in surprise. You felt his hand turn under yours, his fingers smoothing almost carefully over your skin as he took hold of it. He looked up, turning his head to meet your eye. “You never call me that.”

You could feel the rise and fall of his stomach against your fingers with each breath he took. The edge of his belt buckle brushed against your knuckle; a stark coldness compared to the surprising heat of his body.  You meant your response to be cavalier, dismissive even, at this sudden change in the atmosphere between the two of you. Instead, it came out softly, barely more than a murmur. “Sure, I do.”

He shook his head, a small smile curving at one side of his mouth. Even though neither of you had moved, he seemed so much closer to you now, the two of you shoulder to shoulder. “No, you don’t. Not really. Closest you’ve ever gotten was tacking ‘Ignatius’ on it just now.”

You shook your head in amusement, smiling back at him. “It was a joke.”

His thumb brushed rhythmically over the back of your hand, his head turning to look back up at the blankets above you. “Sure it was.”

“What do you care?” you said teasingly. “I didn’t think you liked your first name so much, Star Lord.”

He shrugged the shoulder pressed against yours, meeting your eye again. His eyes were dark in the dull light, shining with amusement and affection. They were almost magnetic, and you felt warmth rise in your cheeks as your gaze fell to his lips briefly. You felt his hand squeeze yours, and there was a charming, knowing quirk to his lips that made your heartbeat quicken.

You swallowed as he leaned towards you, and when he spoke, his lips were barely an inch from yours, his voice was so soft that you almost didn’t hear it over your own heart.

“I don’t mind it so much when you say it.”

Peter’s lips met yours, brushing against them in a chaste, whisper of a kiss. It was soft and gentle, his nose bumping against yours. His tongue touched your bottom lip as you parted them to breathe, his thumb still smoothing circles over your hand. You felt a shiver tingle its way up your spine, and his other hand came up to slide over the leg still thrown over his as he rolled onto his side to face you. His tongue slid languidly over yours, and you could feel his smile as he kissed you more deeply.

You exhaled shakily against his lips as his hand smoothed up your thigh, and he gave a light snicker as you parted, his forehead pressed against yours.

“Apparently you really like it.” you said after a moment, your voice unsteady. He grinned, his hand still trailing slowly up your leg, and your breath caught as it teased down to your inner thigh. He moved to kiss you again, but you pressed your free hand to his chest. “Peter.”

He smiled softly and reached up to tuck hair behind your ear, his fingers trailing along your jaw. “Yeah?”

“What exactly are we doing?”

He smirked, his face moving towards yours again. “Want me to draw you a diagram?”

Peter kissed you again, his hand on the side of your neck. You let it linger for a moment, your fingers curling in the front of his shirt and tugging him closer. Peter responded eagerly, his hand moving down to take hold of your hip and pulling you towards him. You rolled onto your side, and Peter slung your leg up over his hip, his hand sliding up the back of it. It lingered just below the curve of your ass, gripping your leg almost possessively.

You felt his hips press suggestively into yours, and you couldn’t help but whimper against his lips, your hand tugging at the hair at the back of his head. Peter chuckled as you did, and you pulled away, embarrassed by your reaction.

You moved your hand to his shoulder, avoiding his gaze and looking down at his chest. You took a steadying breath, willing your heart to stop pounding. “Peter.”

You could feel a quiet laugh in his chest, his hand moving up to your waist. You shivered as his fingers ghosted up under your shirt to tease at bare skin. “Y/N.”

Your lips parted, intent on questioning him again… to ask what you were doing, where this sudden change in your friendship had come from… to ask what would happen later, if you didn’t stop. But then you felt the gentle, affectionate brush of his lips against your forehead, and suddenly, you didn’t feel the need to talk anymore. Instead, you met his eyes for a moment before you kissed him again, cupping his cheek in your hand.

Peter smiled into the kiss, the hand on your hip moving to the small of your back, urging you closer to him. The cold metal of his belt buckle was a stark contrast to the heat of his body, and your ran your other hand down his stomach to the hem of his shirt. He groaned lightly into your mouth as your fingers crept under his shirt to caress the smooth skin of his stomach. You traced your nails over the muscles, and they twitched in response.

His hand moved to your ass, squeezing it eagerly and urging you closer. Peter slung his hips into yours, and you whimpered into his kiss at the feeling of him hardening against your thigh. Your hand moved to his side, and he broke the kiss with a light laugh, his face falling to the crook of your neck.

You grinned widely. “Are you ticklish?”

“Pfft, no!” he scoffed obnoxiously, wriggling away from you as you ran your fingertips across his waist again. “You—”

He caught hold of your hands, forcing you onto your back and straddling your waist. He pinned them on either side of your head, a cocksure smirk on his face as he looked down at you. “Now you’re in trouble.”

You snickered, wetting your lips with your tongue. You pushed your hips up into his suggestively. “Yeah? What are you gonna do about it, Star Lord?”

His grin widened, interlacing his fingers with yours and moving them above your head as he bent down towards you. His nose brushed lightly against yours, his mouth hovering teasingly above yours. You arched up to kiss him again, and he moved out of reach playfully, instead trailing kisses along your jaw and down the side of your neck.

He lingered over your pulse point, and your eyes closed, a light moan escaping you as he sucked a mark into your skin. “Oh, well, that just sounded… cute.” He murmured against your skin, releasing your hands, and tugging your shirt up over your stomach. “But, that’s not what I’m looking for.”

He moved down to press kisses down your stomach, and you ran a hand through his hair. He leaned into it as he undid your jeans with practiced ease, and your hand tightened reflexively as he tugged them roughly down your thighs. Goosebumps erupted over your legs, his nose ghosting over your stomach and his teeth catching the waistband of your underwear and snapping it against your skin teasingly.

“And what exactly are you— Oh!” you jerked under him as he forced your legs apart and bit your inner thigh, his hands gripping tightly at your hips as he lathed his tongue over the mark he left behind.

“Closer…”

“I’m not ticklish, Quill.” you told him, rolling your eyes as you caught on to what he was trying to do. “But I— fuck, Peter!”

You bucked under him as he pushed your underwear to the side and rolled his tongue against your clit, your hand tightening in his hair. He snickered at your reaction, the sound devolving into a groan as your nails scraped against his scalp, his stubble agitating the sensitive skin of your inner thigh as he brought you undone with his tongue.

The lights danced behind your eyelids as Peter slid two fingers inside you; tucked away in your little oasis and feeling everything he did to you made your heart flutter and your stomach tighten. You grabbed at the pillow under your head as you rolled your hips up into him, your chest heaving. “Pete—fuck, don’t… God, I’m gonna—”

He sucked on your clit and you came, arching up against him and your thighs clenching around him. You moaned aloud as you did, too loud for your little hideaway, eyes squeezed shut and toes curling. Peter continued to slowly pump his fingers inside you as he moved up to kiss your hip softly before straightening into a kneel between your legs. He watched his hand, his thumb circling lightly over your clit. He broke into a wide smirk as you twitched at the sensation, his eyes travelling up your body to your face. “Yeah, you love it.”

You bumped your knee hard against his side by way of retort and he finally withdrew his hand with a grin, holding your gaze as he licked his fingers clean. “You’re an ass.”

“Yeah?” he ran a hand up your thigh, his other unbuckling his belt. “What are you gonna do about it?”

You pushed yourself up onto your elbow, fisting a hand in his shirt and dragging him down for a kiss. It was long, and languid, his tongue sliding over yours, his hand on your hip and his thumb hooked in the waistband of your underwear. You broke away to tug at his shirt pointedly and he straightened to pull it off. Your eyes followed the muscles of his arms, your hand smoothing over a pectoral as he leaned down to kiss you again. He dropped the shirt to the side, moving to remove yours as well.

You stopped him, urging him back down onto the cushions. You swung a leg over his hips slowly, running your hands down his chest before pulling off your shirt. Peter’s eyes dropped heatedly to your chest as you unclipped your bra, his lips parting. He looked almost awed as he stared up at you, his face cast in shadows by the dull lights above you. Your spine tingled at his expression, and you held his gaze as you ran your hands over your chest and rolled your hips slowly over his.

Peter’s head fall back against the pillows at the sensation, his eyes closing and a soft groan slipping between his lips. The sound was intoxicating, as was the feeling of the hard length of his erection pressing up against you. You bit your lip, brow creased as you slowly continued to grind against him. His hands slid up over your thighs, squeezing them rhythmically with every roll of your hips.

You scratched your nails lightly down his stomach before unfastening his pants and wrapping your fingers around his cock. His breath caught as you did, leaving him in a shaky sigh as you stroked him, moved your underwear to the side and slowly sunk down onto his erection. “Jesus Christ, Y/N…”

“Yeah,” you said breathlessly, offering him a cocky smile of your own. “You love it.”

He laughed quietly, taking hold of your hips as you began to fuck yourself onto him slowly. You leaned forward to take hold of his biceps, enjoying the feel of the bulging muscles under your hands as you rode him. He encouraged you to grind against his pelvic bone and you whimpered; you could feel him stretching you wonderfully, each corkscrew of your hips sending sparks dancing up your lower back.

“Fuck, you feel good,” he muttered, watching you with half-lidded eyes. He ran a hand up your side to your ribs, his thumb resting along the curve of the underside of your breast. “You’re like… fuck, you’re like…”

“Having trouble finding the words there, Star Lord?” you teased quietly, your head lolling back, your eyes closed. You moaned as he pinched your nipple, rolling it between his fingers.

“Can’t help it,” he replied, exhaling slowly as you down to press kisses to his collarbone. His hand moved to your hair, bunching by your ear, and you felt his lips brush the top of your head. “None of my blood is exactly rushing to my brain right now.”

“I’m flattered,” you joked lightly, nipping playfully at his throat.

“But I can say: you call me that again, and this’ll be over a lot quicker than it should be.”

You giggled into his neck, kissing him headily before straightening again. You ran your hands up your sides, bouncing languidly on top of him. Each rise and fall had him sliding against your g-spot, and you bit your lip, your eyes rolling back as his hand returned to your sex. He circled your clit with his thumb and you moaned brokenly.

“Has anyone ever told you that you’ve got fucking fantastic tits, sweets?”

You whined, cupping your breasts and squeezing. Your hips jerked as he pinched your clit, and he swore, thrusting up into you. “Somehow, it – oh, fuck, Peter—”

“God, you’ve got the sweetest voice,” he sat up, his free hand ghosting up your side and gliding over your chest. You shivered at the feeling of it, falling against him, your hips never stopping. Peter’s fingers quickened on your clit as you wrapped your arms around his neck, and he murmured in your ear as you tightened around him, an intoxicating mix of sweet nothings and cursing. You ran your fingers through his hair, clinging to him s you felt your orgasm approach.

Peter wrapped his other arm around your waist and bit down on your shoulder, and you came with a cry, hips stuttering against his as each wave of it hit.

Peter hooked his fingers under your chin and raised it gently from where your face was buried against his neck, pressing a kiss to your temple… your cheek… your forehead… the tip of your nose… as you came down, before cupping your face in his hand and capturing you in another breath-stealing kiss.

You rode him unsteadily as your hips shuddered with aftershocks, your thighs squeezing around him. Peter grunted against your lips, his moan muffled as he came, still buried inside you.

“Y/N…”

You kissed him again, your chest heaving against his, eyes fluttering open as you finally caught your breath. “Mmm?”

He grinned at you, pushing hair out of your face with a careful hand. “Yeah. You love it.”

You shoved at his chest, smiling as he laughed in response. You climbed off of his lap shakily, your face warm. “You’re such a—”

Peter let himself fall back against the pillows again, refastening his pants but not bothering with his belt. “Heartthrob? Casanova? Sexual—”

“Deviant?”

Peter smirked, reaching up to ruffle your hair. You ducked away from him, smacking at his arm as you found your bra and clipped it back into place. “Where’re you going?”

“The last thing we need is for the crew to come back and find us like this,” you pointed out, tugging on your pants and the first shirt you grabbed. “Rocket’ll never let us hear the end of it, and Drax’ll be… Drax.”

“That’s a good look on you.” Peter said, his hands tucked behind his head. You looked down at yourself; you’d pulled on his shirt instead of your own. You flushed, but he caught hold of your wrist before you could pull it off again. “Leave it.”

You smiled down at him softly, tucking hair behind your ear. “Isn’t that just as obvious?”

Peter’s hand moved down to your hand, delicately interlacing his fingers with yours. “Would it be so bad?”

“You… you want the others to know about this?”

He pushed himself up onto his elbow, his free hand sliding against the side of your neck and giving you an affectionate smile before pulling you down for a soft, lingering kiss.

.

.

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tags: @peterquillthecutest @lovely-dreamer19 @wittyforachange @wefracturedmotivation @january-echoes @glossyloner @capitalnineteen @youclickedthislink​ @s0ftness​ @bombardia​

if you would like to be tagged in future stories for quill or any other character, please let me know :) don’t forget to like/comment and please reblog :)

[naminethewriter]

Ich habe 558 Mal im Jahr 2022 etwas gepostet

60 Einträge erstellt (11%)

498 Einträge gerebloggt (89%)

Blogs, die ich am häufigsten gerebloggt habe:

@lost-in-thought-20

@edupunkn00b

@a-small-batch-of-dragons

@typically-untypical

@candied-peach

Ich habe 558 meiner Einträge im Jahr 2022 getaggt

#fic rec – 455 Einträge

#dukeceit – 57 Einträge

#intrulogical – 53 Einträge

#💙💚 – 52 Einträge

#💛💚 – 48 Einträge

#i love them so much – 42 Einträge

#creativitwins – 41 Einträge

#namiswriting – 41 Einträge

#i love them all so much – 33 Einträge

#💙💜 – 32 Einträge

Longest Tag: 108 characters

#i have written so much more about logan janus and remus that it's kinda unfair to compare them to the others

Meine Top-Einträge im Jahr 2022:

#5

Extra Service Chapter 1: The Guest

Finally! I had this idea over a year ago I think and yesterday I had the brilliant idea to just publish this story with chapters instead of making it a one-shot.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy this story about Remus forcing a stranger to do some self-care 💚

Here on Ao3

“Housekeeping!” Remus called as he knocked on the door to room 227. He received no answer, so he used his master key to enter the room. It was tidy enough, probably some businessman who was only staying for a night or two and was out to work. Remus liked those guys (as guests only though, he’d never get along with suit-monkeys on a personal level), they never brought much, didn’t really unpack and knew the rules that made his job easier. So he quickly fixed the bed, emptied the trash before moving on to the bathroom to replace the towels.

Honestly, being a hotel housekeeper was never something Remus thought he would be, even if it was only a side job to pay the bills. He wasn’t optimistic enough to ever think that his art would keep him afloat; at least not in his early career, his style was too unique for that. But when he thought of part-time jobs to do before his big break (if he ever had one), he thought of coffee shops, McDonalds, or other retail crap where he had to deal with Karens and other small minded assholes. He still had to deal with those here, of course, just not as much. Most of the rooms he cleaned were empty and he rarely was on food delivery duty. He preferred it this way. He didn’t mind the cleaning all that much, dirt had never bothered him. Janus had saved him by getting him this job, even if it came with strict rules. Remus could hold himself back for a few hours if it meant he could go batshit crazy with his art like he wanted to.

As Remus got back to his cart to dump the dirty towels in, he gave the room another once-over, going through his mental checklist to see if he forgot something and came up with nothing. So he closed the door and moved on to the next. Room 228. The last room on this floor. And a room that had been on his mind for a few days now.

Remus had taken up a couple more shifts recently. A co-worker had called in sick and Remus had a bit of a creative block so he had the time to spare and who was he to say no to extra cash? That meant that Remus had been here for four days in a row and that’s also why he knew that the guest in Room 228 had checked in three days ago and hung out the ‘Do not disturb’ sign. And hadn’t taken it back since. Meaning no one had been in there to clean and, as far as he knew, no one had restocked the mini bar or brought the guest food either.

Janus had told him not to worry about it. Apparently that particular guest had done the same thing multiple times before: rent out a room, locked himself in for a few days, collapsed for another and then leaving. What exactly he was doing in there, Janus didn’t know which of course peaked Remus’ curiosity. But that wasn’t the only thing that drew him to the door right this moment.

He had seen the guy checking in. He had caught his eye immediately, because not only was he devilishly handsome but also worryingly thin. The guy had taken his keys and moved straight to the elevator with such purpose that Remus couldn’t help but watch him go. And oh, what a sight it was. The guy had one fine ass. Luckily Janus had been the one to check him in, so Remus had an easy time asking him all about the mysterious man with the great ass. Of course Janus had refused to give him so much as a name. But he did tell him not to expect too much since the guy would isolate himself as soon as he got to his room. Which turned out to be true. 

Remus was now standing before the door, the number plate 228 glinting at him in the artificial light while he glared at it. He wouldn’t lie, the man’s weird behaviour and good looks had caught his attention no problem and he wasn’t above flirting with guests, much to Janus’ chagrin, but that wasn’t why he was here now. No, his main reason was that he was worried. The guy only had one small suitcase with him and the mini bar only held so many snacks and drinks, some of which were alcoholic. There was no way he was eating right in there and he was already so thin! Remus had watched his brother work himself to the edge of a mental breakdown before; he was not going to let this guy do the same, even if they were total strangers.

Now determined, he let his lips twitch into his trademark manic grin he always wore whenever he was set on something. Roman said it made him look like a mad scientist while working on his paintings or statues, paired with random patches of paint or dust on his clothes and skin and honestly, Remus didn’t mind the comparison. He snatched the ‘Do not disturb’ sign from the doorknob, placing it on his cart for the time being before knocking.

“Housekeeping!” He waited for an answer but none came. He put his ear against the door, trying to make out any sound from within but the door was too thick. He tried calling again. Still no answer. He pushed away the images of a lifeless body and the smell of rot his brain produced. The guy was probably fine, definitely not dead. Maybe passed out. Probably just really focused. Roman had done that, too, back then. Didn’t hear him no matter how loud he yelled. Yeah. The guy was fine. He must be. Because even if Remus was a fan of horror and gore, he didn’t really want to find a dead body at work. Especially since it would be on Janus’ watch and he had worked too hard to get his position to get demoted just because one guy couldn’t take care of himself.

Pulling out his master key again, he carefully opened the door and peaked inside. Immediately his worries were proven wrong, the sound of fast typing reaching his ears. The guy was definitely conscious. ‘Unless, of course, someone else had broken into the room!’, his brain supplied. ‘Could’ve killed the guy and was now trying to get info out of his computer like in the spy movies!’ Remus could feel his adrenaline rise in a weird mixture of dread and excitement. He shook his head. ‘No! Concentrate! The guy is overworking himself and you’re here to stop that!’, he reminded himself. He quietly pushed the door open further.

The room was dark, despite it being early afternoon. The curtains were drawn close and only one lamp close to the table (or was it a desk? Remus wasn’t quite sure what exactly the difference was) was emitting a soft light. The guy was sitting with his back to the door, illuminated by the screen of his laptop on which he was furiously typing. Remus was quite sure he hadn’t paused once since he entered the room, again something that reminded him of Roman’s worst days when he thought that every little break was equal to failure. Remus couldn’t see what exactly the guy was so focused on, he was completely blocking the screen from view. Not that it really mattered to Remus what it was. It could wait for a few hours. No, it HAD to wait. It was clear to him that this man was not in his right mind and needed to take a break RIGHT NOW. He just needed to get the guy’s attention.

Making noise had already proven to be fruitless. Remus had been extra loud the second time he called. Touching the guy suddenly was probably a bad idea. His reaction could range from punching Remus to him having a heart attack or something. ‘Both sound like great options! He doesn’t look like he has any muscle but what if he was actually fucking strong?! And if he had a heart attack, you could see someone die! Up close and personal at that!’ Again, Remus pushed those thoughts away, though he filed the first idea away for later. That might be something he could work with somehow. No, the best way to get the guy’s attention would probably be through sight. But he was so focused on his screen that Remus would probably have to wave his hand right in his face or pull the laptop away, both options again putting him back in punching distance.

Remus let his eyes wander as he thought (he could take his time; the guy wasn’t noticing him anyway). Finally they landed on the curtains and his grin widened as he had an idea. Sudden, bright light would definitely do the trick! But in order to get to the window front and open said curtains, he would need to pass the table (desk? Whatever!), placing the guy between himself and the door. Bad plan if the guy turned out to be an actual spy or some shit. ‘That would be super exciting though,’ his head supplied. He rolled his eyes at himself. ‘Obviously.’

But there was one more bright light at his disposal that he could utilise from his position. The ceiling lights whose switch (again, obviously!) was by the door he was standing in. ‘Wait! How hasn’t he noticed the light coming in from the hallway? If he doesn’t react to that, will this even work?’ Remus hesitated for a second, glancing over his shoulder. The light in the hallway wasn’t all that strong. While the windows were big, it was pretty cloudy outside and the lamps were shut off. The lamp in the room should be much brighter, plus it was pretty close to being directly above the guy. It should work. ‘And if it doesn’t, I can still get within punching range,’ Remus thought. ‘Hell yeah!’ his head cheered back.

So Remus placed his hand on the light switch, eyes trained on the guy to watch his reaction, and flipped it.

As soon as the light hit his eyes, the guy flinched so badly that he almost fell out of his chair. He sharply turned his head upward and practically recoiled like some cliché vampire when his eyes met the bright light directly. He also let out a sort of painful… hiss? Maybe? That’s the best comparison Remus could come up with (it sounded adorable though, in his opinion at least). The guy cursed under his breath (at least Remus guessed it was cursing, he couldn’t quite hear him, but it made the most sense), rubbing his eyes. He recovered quickly though and finally turned towards the door and, of course, Remus, enabling him to get a good look at the guy.

And what a sight it was. His ebony black hair was tousled and clearly hadn’t been washed in days. His dark green eyes were open wide, but his pupils were tiny pinpricks. The glasses he’s wearing were crooked and weren’t hooked behind his left ear properly. He was still wearing the suit he had arrived in, without the jacket. The tie was hanging so low, it almost came undone and the shirt was wrinkled by now. All in all, Remus couldn’t remember the last time he had felt so attracted to anyone. If ever.

The sexy stranger seemed so surprised by Remus’ appearance that his mouth opened and closed a few times before he managed to speak which gave Remus a few seconds to give the room itself a once-over. It was a complete mess. The missing suit jacket and the suitcase were both lain over the bed. The suitcase was opened, and its contents strewn around the room, mainly some clothes and papers. The mini bar wasn’t closed properly but most likely empty since the (also empty) bottles and wrappers were scattered around the room. The tabledesk (‘Ha! Made a new word now!’) was also littered with papers and books, the laptop in the middle of the chaos and its charging cord buried beneath the paper. And then Remus was hit by the smell and oh boy was it unpleasant! Good thing Remus was the first one in here, he could appreciate a good stench. But it was not something befitting the hotel, so he knew he had to get rid of it soon.

“Who- why- how-?” the stranger finally started to sputter before he took a deep breath to compose himself. “Who are you and what are you doing in my room?” he croaked out, voice raw from apparent misuse. Remus was pretty sure he was attempting to glare at him but it was hard to take him seriously with how obviously tired the guy was.

“Housekeeping!” Remus called again with a wide grin. The guy blinked at him a few times, then slowly eyed him sceptically but seemingly concluded that he wasn’t lying (which, you know, he wasn’t).

“I hung out the sign. I was not to be disturbed,” he said through gritted teeth. Remus just grinned wider.

“That was three days ago, so it expired today!”

“I have never heard of such a rule existing.”

“Of course not! I just came up with it after all!” The guy stared at him as if he’d grown another head. ‘Maybe we did! You should check!’ his head called excitedly. ‘I don’t have an extra head.’ Remus answered sharply. He couldn’t afford to get lost in thoughts right now. He probably only had this one chance to get through to the guy and he was not going to waste it!

“You… just came up with it?” the guy asked slowly.

“Yeah!”

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31 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 30. April 2022

#4

Self Care Can Include Many Things

Loceit Week comes around once more 😍 I’m so excited to see what everyone comes up with! There will be quite a few references my entries from last year, look forward to that 😊

Thank you @loceitweek2022 for organizing this! 💛💙

Here on Ao3

Masterpost | Loceit Week 2022 Masterpost

Summary: Janus and Logan have a project to work on. But they also need to take a break sometime. Janus knows an opportunity when he sees one.

Janus arrived in front of his project partner’s house two minutes before their agreed meeting time. Normally he wouldn’t have bothered with being punctual but Logan was annoying about stuff like this and he wasn’t up for a lecture, so he left his house early. He locked up his bike and went to the front door, ringing the doorbell. Less than two seconds later a child’s voice loudly called:

 “I’ll get it!” Then quick footsteps approached. Patton, Logan’s younger sibling opened the door and started grinning as soon as fae saw him. “Janny! Did you come to play? Can we play Mario Kart? I practiced and now I’m super good!” Janus chuckled but shook his head.

“I wish I could, Pat, but your brother and I have a project we need to work on today.” Patton started to pout and Janus quickly gave faer a pat on the head as compensation. “If we finish quickly we might be able to play a bit later. Or I’ll come over again in a few days, that okay?” Fae continued pouting but nodded.

 “If you pinky promise!”

 “Alright, if you insist.” Just as they linked fingers, Logan appeared behind his sibling.

 “Salutations Janus. I see Patton coaxed you into a pinky promise, I hope fae didn’t ask for anything unreasonable.”

 “Did not!”

 “No, fae didn’t. I just promised to play Mario Kart with fae sometime soon so fae could show me how much fae improved, right?” He grinned down at the child who nodded in agreement.

 “Very well then. Patton please go back to your activities now; Janus and I have work to do.”

 “Okay, but you need to finish quickly so we can play!”

 “I will make no promises.” Apparently Patton had expected as much since fae ran off without another word. Janus laughed quietly.

 “Visiting your house is as delightful as ever.” Logan sighed.

 “I would have preferred to go to yours but my parents are both out and Patton cannot be left alone for such a long time yet.”

 “I understand. Then shall we?”

 “We shall.” Logan led him into the house and up the stairs into his bedroom where he had already prepared enough space to work, materials they could use for their research as well as snacks and drinks. The perfect host like always.

It didn’t take long until they were both seated and comfortably at work. Logan had gone to the library to get them reference books which Janus found a bit unnecessary, they were only supposed to prepare a twenty-minute presentation on self care for health class, citations not needed. But Janus also knew Logan well enough to know that that wouldn’t stop him from doing so and he didn’t mind as long as Logan didn’t force him to read through those books. He preferred online articles.

 They had agreed to work in silence for the first fifteen minutes and then present to each other their findings and after that narrow down the examples they wanted to use and research more. Logan started, talking about how important a healthy diet and drinking a lot of water were, as well as dental hygiene. Janus listened patiently even as Logan’s explanation turned more into a rant that went slightly off topic but if he was being honest, and he didn’t tend to be often he just knew to tone down his sarcasm in front of Logan and his sibling (both often got confused with his way of speaking), he could listen to Logan talk about anything for the rest of the day. His crush on the bookworm was not really a secret but Logan was very dense when it came to romantic relationships. He hadn’t been aware of their friends’ relationship until Roman and Virgil kissed right in front of him and even then he needed to ask for clarification.

 Janus was patient though; he was waiting for an opportunity to make his move and he had a very good feeling about today.

 Logan eventually stopped himself and blushed a bit when he realised how much he’d been talking.

 “My apologies, I didn’t mean to ramble.” Janus waved him off.

 “I don’t mind. You made some fascinating points.” Logan’s face got even more red.

 “Thank you. For listening I mean.”

 Janus good feeling increased ten-fold as a plan formed in his head. He grinned.

 “No problem, Logan, I truly enjoyed myself.” He delighted in seeing Logan’s ears turning red now as well.

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48 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 26. Juni 2022

#3

Don’t Think About It

Stream-of-thought fic based on this little writing game!

My prompt was “Wait, what do you mean, you kinda like me?” which game me Virgil vibes so here’s the first Prinxiety fic I’ve ever written. Enjoy 💖💜

Here on Ao3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Wait, what do you mean, you kinda like me?” Virgil was red like a tomato, staring at Roman like he’d grown two heads. The other avoided his eyes, just as red.

 “It means that I would like to go on a date with you. Only if you want to of course!” Virgil felt like his brain stopped working five minutes ago. There was no way Roman was interested in him, they barely got along as friends!

“If this is a prank I will put you in the hospital, princey,” he growled, his fight or flight instinct kicking in but Roman held up his hands.

 “I would never joke about matters of the heart Virgil! That is a line I would never cross!” Yeah, that was fair. Virgil took a deep breath, trying to calm down. He shouldn’t go off like this, he knew Roman better than that and knew his words held true.

 “I know, sorry.” He sighed. “But you can’t spring shit like that on me out of nowhere.”

 “I mean, I was flirting with you for the last two weeks, I figured you picked up on it.”

 “No, you weren’t,” Virgil denied, flushing red again. Had he been that dense?

 “Oh yes, I was.” Roman laughed nervously. “But it’s fine that you didn’t notice, I tried to be more subtle than usual so I didn’t overwhelm you.” Great! Now Virgil was flushing for a different reason. Sometimes he hated how accommodating Roman could be. But before he could apologize, Roman kept talking. “And I don’t need an answer from you right away, take your time to think about it, I can wait a little longer.” He turned to walk away but Virgil grabbed his arm without thinking.

 “Wait!” He froze, not quite sure himself what he was about to say. Roman looked at him expectantly and the light hit his hair in a way that made it look really soft and his green eyes were shimmering, and damn Virgil was gay.

 So he thought: fuck it.

  “Let’s go. On a date,” he breathed out before he could stop himself. And as a smile made its way across Roman’s lips he couldn’t even think to regret it for one second.

85 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 21. Mai 2022

#2

Logan Lost

A while ago, @thecrowslullaby sent me a horrible challenge to start a cooperative story with the prompt

"What do you mean you misplaced [them/him/her/etc.]"

While it was intended to only be the start, I had a solution in mind, so I thought why not share that! So here is my version of the story but here is the last addition to the original thread.

I also made it a Loceit story, a little thank you to Crow 💛💙

Here on Ao3

“What do you mean you misplaced Logan?!” Janus exclaimed, staring disbelievingly at Remus who shrunk a bit under his gaze.

“I wanted to show him my new castle so we went to the imagination. I took the lead and told him about my process, you know he likes to know the steps, but when I turned around he was gone! I went back the whole way calling for him but nothing!”

“So you’re saying he’s on your side all alone?!? How many monsters do you have roaming around out there?!”

“He should be fine! All my creations know he’s not to be harmed, same as you!”

“What about injuries! Tripping hazards! Cliffs! Spikes! You have those everywhere!”

“Well, what do you want me to do?!”

“Find him obviously!”

“I tried!”

“Try harder!”

“What are you two yelling about??” Janus grimaced for half a second before turning to face the other twin with a forced smile.

“Nothing important. Remus simply… misplaced something that’s rather dear to me on his side of the Imagination. I was just asking him to retrieve it,” he hissed, glaring at Remus, daring him to say anything more specific on the matter.

“And I was telling him it’s not that easy,” Remus shot back, pouting a little. Roman looked between the two warily.

“Must’ve been something rather important to you if you yell like that,” he commented. Janus simply shrugged, not willing to say anything else. “I could help look if you tell me what it is.”

“As much as I appreciate your kindness, my prince, it is my understanding that you are not very welcome on Remus’ side and constant monster attacks would be more distracting than helpful, I’m afraid.” Roman frowned.

“Remus can just tell them off, right?” He turned to his brother. Janus stared pointedly at Remus but he didn’t need to worry.

“I could, but I’m not gonna. It’s too much fun. Plus I don’t think I could stop myself from stabbing you in the back when you least expect it.” His grin was wide and made Roman shudder.

“Fine, fine. Don’t say I didn’t offer. Good luck to you then.”

“Thank you. We better be off then. We wouldn’t want to miss dinner and make Patton worry.” Janus moved to grab Remus and pull him toward the portal but Roman spoke up again.

“Wait! Have either of you seen Logan? I can’t find him and I need his input on the next script.”

“I haven’t seen him since breakfast,” Janus said, trying to stay composed.

“Remus?” A pause and Janus prayed that Remus could keep his impulses under control.

“Haven’t seen him in a while,” he chirped finally. Technically the truth, Janus thought before again pulling Remus toward the portal.

“Sorry we couldn’t be of help, Roman, but we must be off now. Good luck on your search!” he called over his shoulder, shoving Remus through the gate and quickly following after before Roman could protest.

***********

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90 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 31. März 2022

Meine #1 des Jahres 2022

Coffee shop AU, enemies to lovers, "Get out of the way before I murder you" <3

I’m done!!! Thank you so much for the request, this was a lot of fun 🥰

Also I tried not to make this Intrulogical but the sentence just fit Remus the best and then I couldn’t stop myself ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Anyway, here it is:

Science Can Bring People Together

All heads turned as the door of the coffee shop burst open.

 “What the fuck did you do, Croft?!” Remus yelled as he stalked towards the counter where Logan, Roman and Remy were currently working. The people in line hurried out of his way except for one blond-haired woman.

 “You can’t just come in here and cut in line!” she exclaimed.

 “Get out of the way before I murder you!” The growl made even the Karen shrink in on herself and Remus passed her by without any more protests. When he finally reached his goal he hit his fist against the counter and pointed at Logan. “I want an explanation, Croft. Now.”

 “Remus, calm down, we’re working! Can’t this wait ‘till later?” Roman interjected, casting worried glances towards the other customers. Remy on the other hand, despite being their manager, watched the scene with interest. Logan raised an eyebrow before turning to his co-workers.

 “I will make the orders while I talk with Remus. Business will not be disturbed further. Step aside, Remus.” He received a growl instead of an answer but didn’t even flinch. “I will not tell you anything if you cannot act civil.” They stared at each other for a few seconds before Remus clicked his tongue and moved two steps to the left. “Thank you.”

 Roman, despite not seeming sure of the situation, went back to serving customers. He wrote the orders down and passed them to Logan who started the process of making a cappuccino to go before addressing Remus again.

 “What is it that you want from me?”

 “I want you to tell me why the fuck Mrs Linn called me into her office today to offer me a seat on the team for that stupid science contest!” Logan raised an eyebrow.

 “Adam’s parents will not allow him to participate because of his bad grades in English and Spanish. We were a teammate short so I recommended you. Did Mrs Linn not explain that to you?”

 “Of course she did! I wanna know why the hell you would do that? You hate me!” Logan held up a hand to pause their conversation while he called out the finished order.

 “For Sylas and Delilah!” A broad-shouldered man came to get the cups while Logan continued with the next coffees. He made quick eye contact with Remus before speaking. “I do not hate you, Remus. I certainly do not appreciate a lot of your… actions but I do believe you to be a very smart individual. When Mrs Linn informed us about Adam’s situation she asked if we knew anyone who could fill his spot and I felt that you are the best option we have.”

 “Why?” Remus still looked sceptical. Logan hummed, considering his next words while operating the coffee machine.

 “First and foremost, as I already stated, I find that you are an intelligent person. Second, you possess ingenuity that is heavily lacking in the rest of our team. And lastly, the theme of this year’s contest is ‘Deep Sea’ which I know to be a special interest of yours.”

 “Slow down! What makes you think I’m intelligent or ingenuitive? My grades are shit.”

 “I am aware. However, grades do not reflect a person’s intelligence but their ability to thrive in the school system. It takes more than just intelligence to do so. For Maddie!” He placed another cup on the counter before moving on to the next. “For example that Rube Goldberg machine you used for your prank on the football team last year was a very clever construction that not just anyone could have built. You have a talent for science but the environment of our school is unable to support you to explore it as such.” Remus just stared at him until Logan called out the next order. The line at the counter was thankfully getting shorter.

 “Thanks for acknowledging my undiscovered genius“ – Logan rolled his eyes – “but why would this science competition be any different than class? Mrs Linn doesn’t like me.”

 “I do not believe that to be true. She certainly is not a fan of yours but when I recommended you she was not that put off by the idea. Otherwise she wouldn’t have agreed, after all. But beside that, Mrs Linn is only our supervision, not our instructor. She prevents us from injuring ourselves. The topic of the project and how we approach it is entirely up to us. At least as long as it’s within the budget.”

 “What about the others then? It’s not just you and me, right?”

 “Of course not. But I will handle them, no need to worry.” Remus furrowed his brows.

 “The hell’s that supposed to mean?”

 “That I will ensure that they do not bother you.”

 “How?”

 “I have my ways.”

 “You’re starting to kinda creep me out, Croft.”

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109 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 23. Februar 2022

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