#hey. ben can be alive in present time right

[otogariado]

this fucking creature is benjamin linus' fursona. look at them and look at ben. do you understand me.

[lovelyladyabsinthewrites]

Okay, i know you have request closed but if i don’t write it down I’ll forget. First love your soldier boy dad writing! I have binged it all now! But what if soldier boys comes back and he realizes his baby needs him cause homelander is like freaky obsessed with her. And like she meets with homelander or something and HL hurts her so she runs to her dad cause he’s the only one that can really protect her and soldier boy gets so mad at HL

I'm a sucker for dad!soldier boy and soldier girl 😭

Suddenly

Warnings: homelander being a creep, reader devastated that he isn't the brother she grew up with, hl giving off incesty vibes, papa soldier boy coming back into the picture, this time he's not going to disappoint his baby girl, dark themes, you've been warned, homelander giving ick vibes, assault, fighting back

Time in Russia had Ben coming to terms with cold, hard truths. By now Payback was never going to rescue him. Not like he'd hoped. Maybe due to his personality being on the constant 'dickhead' switch, no one was really in a hurry to save him. There was no leaving Russia alive for him. Another painful fact. Nowhere near as agonizing than the fact he'd royally fucked up as a parent. He didn't spend the time he should have with you and Homelander. Soldier Boy regrets not using a softer tone and hand with Homelander when he was disciplining the boy. Shouldn't have shooed you out of the way when all you wanted to do was show him a fucking picture you'd drawn.

He replays the last time he saw his kids. Your birthday was coming up soon. Your 18th birthday, a milestone. Soldier boy would never consider himself a sentimental man, but something in his battle weathered heart thawed and warmed that his little girl wasn't so little anymore.

You never asked for anything for your birthday. The most Soldier Boy would do (if not given a hint from Homelander as to what you'd want) is give you money and maybe a doughnut in lieu of an actual birthday cake. Regardless of what Soldier Boy bought you, you always gave him a genuinely grateful smile, appreciating that he was performing the bare minimum. Homelander's gifts always blew whatever Soldier Boy gave you out of the park anyway. He was the one who really knew you.

It dawned on him that he shouldn't have relied so heavily on his son to care for you when Homelander was a child himself. The two of you ended up developing an unhealthy attachment. Moreso Homelander than you (Vogelbaum had brought this to his attention some years ago).

An 18th birthday was something to fucking party about though. When Payback's military grade helicopter landed in Nicaragua, Soldier Boy had been thinking about where he'd hidden your special present. For once he was excited about something that didn't involve killing or fucking.

"Hey, earth to Ben." Your voice catches him off guard, pulling him from his dark revere.

He's not in Russia anymore.

He's not even in the same year as he had been when abducted.

Ben stares at you for a moment. That vacant stare of his has you going on guard just in case something triggered his PTSD.

You're older than 18 now. A full grown woman standing in a rundown, shitty little motel kitchenette. The pan you were using was set aside and you turn off the burners of the stove before facing your dad.

"You good?"

Blinking once, Soldier Boy shakes off whatever spell was cast over him. "Yeah. Yeah, sorry. What were you saying?"

You understood the moments of displacement you 'd feel when you realized your father was alive and right in front of you. He hadn't aged a single year since his supposed death that Stan Edgar convinced you happened. It was just so fucking weird.

"I was saying that I need to run out for an errand. Hughie and Butcher will be here if you need anything."

The usual Soldier Boy returns with a roll of his eyes. He exchanges a glance with Butcher who was intently watching Vought News in the armchair near the motel window. Butcher merely offers him a shrug.

You doubt he would actually need anything. The Boys hooked up your dad with several pounds of weed, alcohol and cigarettes that would last a normal person a lifetime. This was nothing to Soldier Boy. He would demolish it within a couple of days.

Hughie leans in to whisper in your ear "Are you sure you want to go back to Vought? Annie said she had everything under control over there."

Watching Soldier Boy eat his breakfast and taking a swig of some good old fashioned morning whiskey, you lower your voice so only Hughie could hear. "I love Annie and respect her, but I HIGHLY doubt even she has control in regards to Vought and the Seven."

Before leaving, you shoot the three of them a menacing look. "Behave. All of you."

You'd lied to Hughie though.

When Butcher returned from Russia with Soldier Boy and after the incident incident with Crimson Countess, you thought of the brother you used to know frequently. It wasn't long ago that Homelander had been your best friend. You hoped beyond all hope that you could bring that brother back.

You'd purchased a burner phone and, memorizing Homelander's personal number, called him. His immediate reaction was to curse you out, naturally. You let him before reminding him of the bond both of you built through years of surviving Soldier Boy's home together. Making something of yourselves without the looming shadow of your father. You'd told him that if there was any chance of reconciliation that he should meet you at a disclosed area. Just the both of you. There was guarded refusal. You could be luring him into a trap. Finish him off once and for all. And like the rest of the world, Homelander didn't believe you when you finally told him that Soldier Boy was alive.

That was enough for Homelander to agree.

One might consider you paranoid by the many times you'd looked over your shoulder as you flew to the top of Vought Tower. A semi-public place where if a struggle ensued, many people would be tipped off below. You'd also have more options of escape in the open air.

The door to the top of the roof opens. You stand taller and square your shoulders off.

Homelander lets the door fall closed behind him. His strides to you are slow and calculated, imitating a predatory animal circling a scrumptious morsel of meat. Blue eyes dart around you, assuring himself you didn't bring any unwelcome visitors.

"He's really alive?'' Was Homelander's greeting.

You toss him the cheap burner phone that was capable of taking subpar pictures. Homelander eyes you before leaning down to pick up the flip phone. His lower lid twitches when he makes out Soldier Boy in the picture sitting across from Butcher at some small table.

Adam's apple bobbing, Homelander's expression difficult to read. "How?"

"Apparently the Russians had him. Payback was working with them as well as Vought to get rid of Soldier Boy." Would he believe you?

Scoffing, he tosses back your phone but there's no point in keeping it anymore. You crush it in your grip, fingers opening to let the crumbled remnants be carried away by the wind.

"John, please. I miss my brother." The man in front of you was a stranger wearing your brother's face.

He tilts his chin up. "You're the one who ruined us. YOU fucked right off to join William Butcher and his band of miscreants. And its you who has no one to blame but yourself."

"John-"

He's fast, his hand inches away from grabbing your face before you dodge out of the way, deftly avoiding him. His temper has grown worse, you observe, since you left the Seven. Homelander was already on a rapid decline mentally after killing Madelyn Stillwell. Your abandonment was simply icing on top of the shitty cake.

You had to tread VERY lightly around him.

What was your aim for this interaction? Homelander would never leave Vought or the Seven nor would he want to join you and the other vigilantes. Hell, the Boys would never accept him.

You wanted to see for yourself if there was any piece left of your childhood within him.

Starting into his red rimmed eyes, you saw nothing of the boy who held your hand as the both of you crossed the street to get to school. He was gone.

"You" He points a red gloved finger in your direction "betrayed me."

He won't listen to reason.

"I didn't want to." You whisper, recalling the moments when Homelander actually made you feel unsafe just before you made the decision to leave. How he'd started to stare at you for an uncomfortably long time. His simple, innocent gestures and caresses were becoming. . . worrisome.

You'd thought it was just you imagining things. Homelander was just like that with you. He practically raised you after all. Homelander was the one to make your sack lunch for school. The one who got you ready, choosing your clothes for the day and braiding your hair.

His touches had changed though. They lingered and tightened on you, becoming possessive with each passing day since Stillwell's murder.

There was an instance when he'd captured your face in both his hands. You'd thought maybe there was something on your face, remnants of lunch, but no. He'd nearly kissed you full on the lips. For once you're grateful for the Deep popping up out of nowhere. It was the only thing that had Homelander dropping your face and returning to a semi-normal facade.

You see that Homelander right in front of you. The one that made your stomach curdle and goosebumps prickling upon your arms.

"I never thought you'd become an ungrateful bitch." With each step he took closer to you, you took another one back. "You're mine. You have always been mine from the moment Soldier Boy brought you home, you've been mine." His hands kept clenching up as if he was trying to will restraint in himself.

You're ready for a fight.

What you aren't ready for was Homelander being faster in grabbing your arms so you couldn't escape and smashing his lips against your's. You feel yourself scream as a struggle begins. He's trying to keep you in his arms, pull you down to the ground. His kiss turns aggressively desperate with teeth biting down on your lower lip when you try to turn your face away.

Heart rate freaking out, you go by pure animal instinct to get out of Homelander's hold. Your teeth sink down into his forearm, tearing cloth and skin alike. Letting out a howl, Homelander throws you to the ground, reeling back to examine the sizeable bite mark you gave him. He wasn't used to seeing his own blood.

He forgot that he should have been just as fearful of you as you were with him and his own powers.

The stickiness of his blood covers your mouth as you glare at him.

Since the brother you once loved was no longer present in Homelander, you weren't afraid anymore of pulling punches.

You stand up to your full height and feel the heat of your lasers burn in the back of your eyes.

Homelander seemed to match your feelings as his heated glare literally shines from his eyes. "I'm not letting you get away to go back to him."

"That's unfortunate. I've got no plans on staying here." You snarl and just as you levitate off of the ground, Homelander is grabbing you by the ankle and tries to slam you back down.

He could easily rip your leg off.

Your panicked jerking manages to free you from his grasp.

Like a bullet you take off across the sky. Looking back every so often just to make sure he wasn't following you. He wouldn't dare to make a scene where civilians can easily spy the both of you from the ground.

You're certain you've broken a few records by how fast you flew across the city to get back to the hideout.

Nearly ripping the motel door of it's hinges, you startle the men in there. Hughie gapes at the actual bruises developing on your face and the red smear across your mouth. Everything about you must have looked a horrifying mess.

Soldier Boy stands from where he'd been sitting on the bed. Eyes wide as he takes you in. "What the fuck happened to you?" He's the first one to take action and go to you.

Looking at him now, the feelings you'd tried pushing back start trickling forth. You realize Homelander had not just physically assaulted you, but it had nearly turned into a sexual assault too.

You damn the tears that well up your eyes, distorting the image of your father. "I. . . John. . ."

"John? John did this to you?" The words felt hollow coming out of his mouth as he stood in a daze. Homelander had harmed you? That didn't sound right. Then again, a lot had changed.

Mentioning Homelander's birth name caught the others' attention.

You touch your mouth where Homelander had kissed you. You realize the blood around your lips may not just be Homelander's blood. Where he'd bitten your lower lip is a tender gash that is also leaking red.

"Sit down. You're shaking." Soldier Boy, taking on the role of a caring father (and surprising everyone with his gentle tone) pushes past Butcher and Hughie who helplessly watch. Using your shoulders to guide you to the arm chair, your dad sits you down. He kneels in front of you to get a good look at the wounds all over you. "Tell me what he did."

Chewing on the inside of your cheek, you're focused on your hands and the specks of red on them. "He tried- I don't know. . . He. . ."

Gently, Soldier Boy uses his index finger to raise your face up. "Tell me, baby girl."

That got you. The tears were now freely rolling down your face when you meet similar blue eyes. "I wanted to see if there was anything left of the brother I knew." You whimper, voice warbling. "Dad. . . he didn't try to kill me. He tried doing something worse."

Ben's eyes widen, as if dots were being connected. His soft demeanor which he'd revealed just to you hardens into something ugly. You didn't like how quiet the motel room had become.

You flinch when Soldier Boy attempts to hug you. He stops and not wanting to upset you further, didn't try again. You're the one who wraps your arms around him.

Fiercely, Soldier Boy returns the embrace.

"I promise you, I won't ever let him lay a hand on you again." He feel his jaw tighten as he snarls out. "The next time I see him, I'm going to kill him."

[alessiathepirate]

Resident Evil 2 - Resident Evil 4

SHARED WOUNDS HEAL TOGETHER THE BEST: Leon S. Kennedy x fem!reader

Summary: Relationship development through nightmares and shared trauma.

Notes: English isn't my first language. I apologize for any mistake I made while I wrote this short story.

Warnings: swearing, referenced PTSD, trauma, mentioned death, described violence, hurt/comfort

•••

Half a night full of nightmares

Escaping the unsurvivable doesn't come with good feelings at all.

It didn't fill her heart with pride or joy after she survived all those monsters in Raccoon City, even though she almost laughed from relief when she found herself far away from that God forsaken place with Leon, Claire and Sherry on her side.

No. The aftermath wasn't happy and it definitely wasn't fun. It was sad, insufferable and painful.

The mornings were alright - she didn't have any problems with those, especially when she could talk to either Leon or Claire, or take care of Sherry. But the nights - the nights were horrible and the first few after the incident were the worst.

She saw hoards of the undead in her dreams, attacking her or killing the people she cared about. She heard the noises of the lickers and the turned dogs, but the worst were the loud steps, making the walls and the ground she was standing on shake.

On the first night she relived the journalist's death so vividly, she didn't know where she was when she woke up. She saw him backing away and then the strong arm of the tyrant pushed through the concrete wall, it grabbed his head and crushed it like it was nothing. She remembered how the blood dripped down to the floor, how his eyes popped out of their places and how they were hanging out of his eye sockets, only a few weak muscles keeping them attached to his body.

When she woke up she couldn't breath, her chest was heavy, her throat felt both tight and dry and she was crying, the tears quickly running down her cheeks. She didn't know where she was or who she was, her mind was too far gone, still living in the world of the nightmare, not finding the way back to reality.

Two sudden hands on her shoulders pushed her back to the present, to the dirty motel room with the lights on, but with the curtains closed.

"Hey, hey! It's okay, it was just a nightmare! You're safe, I'm here. Do you hear me?" Leon's voice was full of fear, but he did his best not to panic as he tried to calm her down. His words made her breathing slow down and she felt like she can get some fresh air in her lungs again. "You have to take a big breath with me, okay? In and out." She followed his instructions as he brushed a few locks of hair out of her face, which got stuck to her forehead from the sweat. "Again- breath in... and out." He made eye contact with her, making sure she's feeling better. "You can calm down, it was just a bad dream."

She nodded, now understanding the situation she found herself in.

"Thank you." her mouth felt dry as she said those two words out loud.

"You have nothing to say thank you for." Leon smiled at her reassuringly. "Do you feel better now?"

She just nodded again, not trusting her voice this time. Leon backed away and sat down next to her on the bed.

She felt awkward as she sat up, leaning against the bedframe as she pulled the duvets to the side, because she felt like she was burning alive under them. She hugged her knees to her chest as she looked at Leon again.

"You can talk about it if you want to. I had one too, you know... a nightmare."

She stayed quiet as she thought about what to do, but then her strength to keep all the fear in herself broke.

"I had a dream about the journalist's- about Ben's death... It was like I- relived that moment, you know. When the tyrant killed him." she explained as a shiver run through her spine at the memories. "What was yours about?"

"That we never made it out alive." he started. "That every one of you died right before the finish line and when I tried to get back to you I got attacked as well."

"I'm sorry."

"About what?"

"I don't know." she answered after she realized how stupid it would be to apologize for the whole Raccoon City incident, when it wasn't her fault - nor their fault at all. "For scaring you because of some shitty dream I had... For what happened or- I don't know."

"It's not your fault. You can't do anything against the dreams you have and I'm sure you did your absolute best in Raccoon City. We all did."

They smiled at each other, but it was a very broken, pitiful smile.

"I'll always be here if you want to talk about, you know- what happened."

"The same goes for you." she said. "Where are the others? Claire and Sherry?"

"Claire wanted to get something to eat and Sherry wanted to go with her. You fell asleep so I didn't want to leave you alone." Leon explained and then added jokingly: "And then I fell asleep as well so I guess we were both too tired to care about food. They should be back in a few minutes."

"Thanks for staying with me."

Leon just smiled and then stood up, walking towards the only table the cheap motel room had.

"Claire was able to get some tea from that nice lady at reception. Do you want some? I mean, it's already cold, but-"

"It's perfect. Thank you."

A few moments later they were both sitting on her bed, drinking that ice cold tea as they made sure the other was feeling better after half a night full of nightmares. Neither of them knew how important that little gesture will be in their shared future.

•••

The already full jar of trauma

The moment she heard Leon's voice from his bedroom, she was up, her bare feet were on the cold floor, not caring about what she had on or how low the temperature in their apartment was. Her reflexes, which became quite sharp after that horrible night, acted on their own accord, and the next thing she knew she was running to her flatmate's bedroom, not bothering to knock.

Just like she thought - Leon's body was sweaty and he was tossing and turning in his bed with an uncomfortable look on his face. All the tiredness was gone from her eyes as she sat down next to him on his bed and put one of her hands on his chest while the other was gently caressing his face.

"Leon?" she spoke up kindly, her voice rough from sleeping beforehand. "Leon, please wake up! It's just a dream. Leon?"

He suddenly opened his eyes as he sat up so quickly she had to lean back so he won't bump into her.

"It's okay!" she tried to reassure him as she touched his arm. "It was just a bad dream."

He looked at her, his eyes teary from both dream and sleep and the next thing she knew, he hugged her, his arms keeping her in place tightly, afraid to let go.

She was shocked at first, that moment being the first time ever he hugged her or was that close to her, but she didn't complain. She knew how bad a nightmare can be, how bad of a reaction it can get out of someone. So she hugged him back and stroked his arm as his breathing became more even.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she said, her face still pressed against his shoulder.

She felt him swallow.

"Do you remember Marvin?" he asked even though he knew the answer.

Marvin was still a fresh wound and a painful topic - especially the way he died and the why he died. The man was a hero; he saved them from getting eaten and he gave them the right weapons and best gear they could ever find.

She nodded, but the memories still hurt.

"I had a dream about him."

"I'm sorry. You had to shoot him because of me."

It was true and she'll probably always feel guilty because of it. It was her fault - her fault that Leon had to shoot him dead and with that add to the already full jar of trauma.

She wasn't careful and let the turned Marvin attack her. His hands were already on her and if Leon doesn't react quickly, he would've bit her right in the neck.

"It wasn't your fault." Leon said and after taking a long breath he continued: "He was already gone. It was between you and him, and he was already gone."

Even if it was a painful topic, she knew she can be thankful that Leon was there and acted quickly.

"Thank you for being there that day." she said after she pushed Leon back so she can look him in the eye. "But you can't blame yourself either. I hope you know that."

He nodded, silently saying that he does.

"Are you tired?" he asked.

"Not anymore, no."

"We can watch something if you want to."

"Yeah." she answered, knowing none of them would be able to fall sleep again. "That would be great. A shitty comedy would be great."

•••

Keep on talking

She was so tired she felt like she could cry at any little thing - yet sleep stayed far away from her. It didn't want to come, it didn't want to give her what she needs and covets.

Her whole body hurt from that morning's obstacle training and hand-to-hand combat - both lessons left cuts and purple, blue or even yellow bruises on her arms, legs and stomach. Her muscles were aching, screaming for even a few hours of sleep, but both the sleep and dreams stayed away.

"Are you still up?"

Leon's question was so sudden in the darkness that it gave her heart an ache from fear, her heartbeat becoming faster.

They shared a bunk bed together. Leon chose the lower part so she owned the upper one - but deep down she knew Leon made that decision so he can look out for her and be her guard dog until the end of the damn training.

"Yeah." she whispered back, not wanted to wake up the others.

"You can't sleep?"

"Exactly, but I want to." her voice became high pitched, so she had to swallow to keep the tears back. "God, I really want to."

Leon whispered her name, his voice was full of worry and that was what broke the dam. The tears started to fall from both mental and physical pain, tiredness.

"Are you okay?"

She didn't answer. She couldn't without waking the others up, knowing her voice would be rough and high pitched.

She heard him pull the duvet to the side, she was sure he sat up on his bed. Then his bare feet made contact with the floor and in the next moment she could see Leon's face as he grabbed the side of her bed. His expression was full of sadness.

"Do you want to sleep next to me tonight?" he asked quietly, gently touching her hand.

She nodded.

"Come here..."

She did her best to stay silent as she wiped away her tears and then climbed down, her arms shaking as she did so. Leon was there to help her, holding her, keeping his hand on her back as support.

When she was down he turned her towards himself, wiped the remaining tears away and gently stroked a bruise on her collarbone. She only then noticed that he had a few bruises himself as well, a purple one hiding right under his jaw, but she could still see it in the moonlight.

"Who did you fight with?"

"Why, you want to beat him up?" he asked teasingly, trying to crack a joke.

She didn't giggle, caring about his health and well being too much to take it as a joke.

"Of course I want to."

"You can have one guess." he sighed.

"Krauser?"

"Who else?"

"What an asshole." she whispered.

"What about you? Who do I have to beat up?"

"You can have one guess." she quoted him. "I had hand-to-hand combat right after you."

Leon didn't say anything to that, he only stroked her cheek reassuringly and then gestured towards his bed. She lay down on his bed and tried to find a position where she leaves place for Leon as well. He joined her moments later and pulled the duvet over the two of them.

"Try to rest, okay? You need it." he whispered.

"I know." she started. "I just got to a point where I'm too tired to fall asleep."

"Do you want me to keep on talking?"

"If you want to."

One of his hands found her waist and pulled her shirt down to cover her skin, and then through the material he started to draw different shapes into her. First a square, then a circle, a triangle, a star and then a smiley face.

"Did I tell you that Claire called right before we had to come here?" he asked.

"No."

"Well she did. She told me all about what she wants to do" she closed her eyes as he started to talk. "and about who she met. She asked about us. She was surprised that we became flatmates, joking that that's how dumb romance books start..."

She fell asleep right after that, her mind finally finding peace at his words. What she didn't realize was how she was admired while she was sleeping and how well Leon slept next to her that night.

That was the first time they asked themselves if they are really just friends or something more.

•••

You'll always have Prince Charming, cariño

Their first night together as a couple shouldn't go like this - with this heavy, burning feeling inside their chests.

The well known feeling of guilt made that night harder than ever. It's been a while since they were this afraid of falling asleep and it wasn't easy to get used to again, even if they both got a routine for those nights.

Taking a shower, getting dressed for bed, cooking dinner and then watching something on the TV - trying to do everything slowly to avoid going to sleep, trying to keep their eyes open so they can concentrate on the crappy movie, trying to not think about who they lost.

"We should go to bed or you'll fall asleep on the couch." Leon was the first to break the silence and the tension in the air.

They were both watching some stupid comedy on the TV, but while Leon was sitting with tired eyes, she was resting her head on his thigh. Her eyes closed a few minutes ago and she almost fell asleep when he spoke up.

"I don't want to." she started. "I'll have nightmares and I really can't deal with them tonight."

Leon's hand started to stroke her back and she sighed - being there with him gave her a peace of mind, but it also made her really sleepy.

"I know what you mean - but we have to give it a try. We've been a through a lot and we need to rest."

"I know. I just-" she sat up so she can look at him. "I just don't want to relive Luis' death... I just can't."

Leon looked at her like she said the exact thing he had been feeling and thinking about. He gave her a sad smile and took her hand in his, drawing the usual shapes into her skin with his thumb.

"Luis didn't deserve to die." she continued, trying to get everything what hurts off of her chest. "Even if he was always flirting or being annoying; he was nice. And he was really trying to do the right thing."

"And he was your biggest supporter." Leon added with a small, honest smile.

"No, he was our biggest supporter." she corrected him, letting out a giggle as she remembered all the things he said to her. "He was trying to make me see what our relationship truly is- that what you and I have is more than friendship."

"He was right, wasn't he?"

She nodded and the smile she had disappeared as she got back to reality. To the reality where Luis Serra is dead no matter how hard she tried to save his life.

She thought about the memories she shares with Leon and realized that no matter what they do or where they go, they always meet with tragedy and death. Those things overshadow their relationship and its development, not letting them fully enjoy what they have.

Luis would've loved to see their confession. He would've loved to see their faces when they realize they both feel the same way about the other. He would've wanted them to be happy.

Even if it's hard to be happy and smile.

What would he say? Something cheesy and romantic. Something like: You'll always have Prince Charming to make you smile even on hard days, cariño.

And he'd be right. She'll always smile when she sees Leon. She'll always laugh at his jokes. She'll get through everything if he's by her side.

"All right." she spoke up suddenly, making Leon stop his movements. "We can try and get some sleep- together."

"Together." he agreed and then leaned forward to press a kiss to her forehead.

God, Luis would be smirking with that proud, annoying smirk of his.

A few moments later they were cuddling under the duvets in Leon's room; her head was on his chest as he was stroking her back. She didn't dare to close her eyes yet, but she enjoyed the closeness with her lover.

Lover, she thought. It's good they had Luis to make them see they are better lovers than friends.

That's how she should remember him. Luis Serra, the best wingman the world has ever known. The bravest, kindest wingman the world has ever known.

"Leon?" she spoke up in the darkness as she closed her eyes.

"Yes? Is something wrong?"

"No. There's nothing wrong. Everything is fine when I'm with you." she explained when she heard the fear in his voice. "I just wanted to say I love you."

For a moment Leon's heartbeat and breathing changed, and his hand stopped.

"I love you too, darling. Now try to get some sleep, okay?"

"Promise me you'll wake me up if you have a nightmare..."

"I promise, but the same goes for you."

Leon pressed one last kiss to the back of her hand and then they both closed their eyes, trying to enjoy the other's presence, knowing they don't have to be afraid of nightmares. Not when they have the other.

•••

[definitely-not-samayoi]

The translation is complete, so please have some more saemaji. That's only the next chapter, there are several more incoming! The first part below:

Majima came home late that day. He looked somewhat terrible: blood from a split eyebrow flooded his face, a purple bruise was forming on his cheekbone, and when Majima smiled broadly at the sight of Saejima, he saw bloodied teeth. Saejima sighed heavily and without further ado pulled out a first aid kit from the cabinet.

“Some bastards from Omi,” Majima explained eagerly, hissing as the antiseptic hit the wound. "What the hell are they even doing here?"

"Whatever they're doing here, yer very lucky yer still alive," Saejima said with a chuckle as he worked on a bruise on Majima's cheekbone. “Musta been some small fry, or you'd be lying in an alley somewhere with a bullet in yer head.”

"I wouldn't!" Majima snapped decisively. “I tried to talk to them in Kansai-ben, but…”

“Ya have Tokyo written on yer forehead,” Saejima snorted, imagining Majima trying to pass in front of Omi as their own. “And ya can torture people with yer kansai-ben. No wonder they figured it out.”

Majima frowned in disgust, but Saejima knew full well that he was listening to his every word. From the very next day, Saejima began to notice that Majima was diligently copying his accent.  At first, it looked ridiculous, and Saejima couldn't help laughing a couple of times, for which he immediately received a sharp elbow punch in the ribs.

Yasuko's surgery was scheduled for a week later, and Saejima was becoming increasingly anxious. He slept poorly and ate poorly, something even Patriarch Sasai himself noticed when Saejima accidentally bumped into him in the corridor of the headquarters.

"Listen, lad," Sasai patted his shoulder paternally. “Yasuko-chan will not be happy at all when she leaves the hospital and sees a weak shadow instead of her older brother. And don't forget that I need you to be able to carry out your duties. What kind of yakuza are you if any of the bastards that roam the streets knocking pocket money out of elementary graders can kick your ass?”

"Oyaji," Saejima bowed so sharply and low that Sasai burst out laughing.

"You won't be able to take good care of Yasuko-chan if you don't take care of yourself first. So you better get a grip, Saejima!”

Saejima bowed again, and Sasai, thinking that Saejima had been sufficiently impressed by his speech, left with a final nod to him.

Of course, Sasai was right about everything. . Before Yasuko had been admitted to the hospital through his efforts, Sagejima had not given much thought to their future: there were too many things in the present that required his care. But now that Yasuko's return was only a matter of time, Saejima couldn't find a place for himself. Yasuko has to go to school. She also needs to eat well to recover from her surgery. Saejima himself had to make do with instant noodles; sometimes he'd manage to snatch a box of expired bento at a good discount. Saejima's stomach could probably digest nails, so he didn't worry about himself. But Yasuko…

Majima, of course, was also aware of his condition. During their time together they had learned to read each other as no one else could, to the slightest change in the tone of voice, the tiniest wrinkles between the eyebrows. 

"Hey, kyoudai," Majima stubbed out the butt of his cigarette on the lid of the urn. “You're a pain to look at. I know you're worried about Yasuko-chan, and that's fine, but… Look, you're not alone now, are you? I... I've actually decided to join Tojo, too. I'm gonna help! At first it'll be the little things – you know how it is – but then…”

"Kyoudai," Saejima sighed deeply without looking at him.

“Don’t kyoudai me! I'm talking serious stuff here! And if you start your “I don’t want to owe you” bullshit, I'll kick your ass so hard Yasuko-chan won’t recognize you when she returns! And, besides…”

Before Majima could finish, Saijima grabbed him, squeezing him tightly in his arms. Majima froze, but then relaxed, hugging Saejima back.

[starryeyedrookie]

Before It’s Too Late (Ethan x MC)

Book: Set during book 2 ch. 11.

Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x MC (Evelyn Long)

Word count: 1,996

Rating: General

Category: Angst

Summary: An attack scene rewrite when Ethan spends the night with MC.

A/N: Characters and some dialogue owned by Pizelberry.

I finally decided how I was going to write this rewrite. Initially I was trying to do a full chapter rewrite but half way through, I was already at 3k+ words so it would be waaaay to long. Thankfully, I managed to summarize it but also give it a ton of angst. (This was my first time writing angst btw.) I hope you enjoy!

8:30 pm

It's been exactly five hours since the attack. Five excruciatingly long hours since Evelyn’s world was turned upside down.

Travis, Senator Ed’s assistant, had slowly been poisoning him with lead. When they went to confront him, he pulled out a can and sprayed everyone in the room with a deadly unknown substance.

The Senator managed to escape and Travis was dead. But so was Bobby, with Danny fighting for his life.

Evelyn begins to cry again as she thinks about Bobby’s wife and two kids that he left behind. They would now have to grow up without their dad. He would miss so many big milestones in their lives all because of two selfish people.

“E-Evelyn…?” a weak voice calls from across the room.

She walks over to the bed where Raf is lying down, a light sheen of sweat covering his pale face.

The team had come a little while ago with a shot that they had hoped would slow the progression of their symptoms, but Raf’s still seemed to be getting worse.

“What’s wrong?” he asks quietly, gently wiping the tears from her face.

“I was just… thinking about Bobby’s family and… everything that he… would miss. He was… just telling me… this morning that… his oldest daughter is turning sixteen this year…”

“I know… life isn’t fair. They didn’t deserve any of this.”

“You didn’t either, Raf.”

“But I saved you from having to suffer so much… and that’s what matters.”

“Raf…”

“Shh… listen, I feel… like I’m… getting worse. Will you… do me a favour?”

“Of course. Anything you need.”

“Please help me call my vovo.”

Evelyn hands Raf his phone to unlock, then scrolls through his contacts until she sees his grandmother’s name, tapping it, she places the phone to his ear.

“Olá, vovo.”

“No… I’m not well. There was an attack at the hospital today and the Senator’s assistant tried to kill him. A few people were in the room when it happened. The Senator escaped, but his assistant and one person that works here died and the other is in critical condition. Evelyn and I are in quarantine right now.”

“I just wanted to let you know… that if I… don’t make it… I love you with all my heart.”

“Alright, take care. I love you too.”

“Thank you, Evelyn.” he takes a shaky breath, his heart rate slowing and growing more shallow.

“Evelyn… I think you should… call the team… I'm sorry I couldn't save you… that this… might be the way it ends…” he murmurs, eyes meeting hers, as warm and kind as the day they met.

Taking his hand, she can barely see him through her tears.

“You'll make it through this Raf… I know you will…”

He smiles up at her before his eyes flutter closed and his hand falls away.

Moments later Ethan and June rush into the room.

“I’d hoped that the treatment would buy us more time,” Ethan says sadly.

“We don’t know that it didn’t.” Evelyn tries reassuring him.

He nods as June’s eyes fill with sympathy.

“We’ll get him to the support suite. There’s still a chance that we could fix this Evelyn.” June tells her, as she prepares Rafael for transport.

Evelyn’s almost too scared to ask, but she needs to know. “How’s Danny?”

“We… we lost him.” Ethan’s voice comes out in a whisper.

“No…”

“Before he died he… he asked to be autopsied. To help the two of you.”

As Ethan turns to help June, Evelyn reports Raf’s most recent symptom of hot cold reversal.

“Stay strong, Evelyn. We’ll know more soon.” June tells her reassuringly as she and Ethan slowly push Raf out of the room.

Now she’s all alone, curled up on her bed, the pressure in her head becoming almost too much to bear.

Her mind drifts to Danny. She remembers her first day when he was the one that told her that she had just performed a thoracotomy with Ethan Ramsey. The night of the party her roommates had when he and Sienna talked all night until they fell asleep together on the couch.

Sienna. All Evelyn wanted to do was rush to her side and hold her. She and Danny were supposed to be together. They were meant for each other. But how he was gone, and Sienna would have to live with that loss. She probably never even got to say goodbye.

Goodbye. Evelyn had to be prepared.

Picking up her phone, she sees that she has several missed calls and messages.

Calling her mom, she picks up immediately.

“Evelyn sweetie! Are you okay?! Oh my goodness, we saw what happened on the news and I thought we lost you!”

Hearing her mom’s voice, her tears start falling again.

“I’m hanging in there right now mom. It’s just me in the room now. Rafael just got taken to the support suite.”

“Oh, sweetie…”

“Mom… is everyone there?”

“Yes, honey. We’re all here.”

“Can you put me on speaker please?”

“Hey Evey.” she hears her dad’s voice say.

“Hi, Dad.”

“Hi Evelyn, do they know what it is yet?

“Hi Ben, no they don’t. We got a shot earlier that was supposed to slow the progression of the symptoms, but we don’t have a cure yet.”

“Oh.”

“Listen, guys… if I don’t make it…”

“No Evelyn! You can’t say that!” her heart breaks as she hears Ben crying through the phone.

“Wait… just listen to me. I’m preparing for the worst. I want you guys to know… that I love you all so much. And I want to thank you for everything that you’ve done to help me fulfill my dreams.”

Aside from the sound of soft cries, the line is silent.

Finally, her dad speaks up.

“We love you too sweetie. Stay strong and hang in there. You’ll be fine.”

“I’ll try… take care.”

“Bye.”

Later, her friends and the diagnostics team are gathered outside her window. Bryce looks at her with haunted eyes while a crying Sienna buries her face in Jackie’s shoulder.

“How’s Kyra? The surgery must be over by now…”

“She’s fine and resting. We haven’t told her what happened yet.”

“Good idea.”

“So, do you know what it is yet?”

Ethan explains to her that it’s a maitotoxin that he had never seen before. It was still present in Danny’s bony postmortem and on the surface of his skin.

Processing the information, the realization hits Evelyn like a ton of bricks.

“Maitotoxin… that’s derived from parasites in fish, isn’t it? But… there’s no antidote so… I’m going to die here…” her voice now barely a whisper. “I can’t believe this. Today was supposed to be happy. Kyra was supposed to have a successful surgery and everything was supposed to be fine… but now Danny’s dead, Raf is in a coma, and I’m… I’m…” Evelyn buries her face in her hands as she begins to cry.

“Now isn’t the time to give up hope Evelyn. Because of Raf’s actions, you didn’t get much in your system so your symptoms aren’t as advanced. There may not be an antidote as yet, but I promise you that we’ll be working round-the-clock to synthesize one.” Ethan tries to sound as confident as he can, his heart breaking to see Evelyn hurting.

“You won’t be alone.”

Everyone turns around to see that the statement had come from Tobias, as he, and several Mass Kenmore doctors approached them, all prepared to do whatever it takes.

As everyone heads down to the lab, Ethan lingers behind at the window.

“Are you okay, Ethan?”

“No, Evelyn, I’m not okay. But you don’t need to hear about that. You should try and get some rest. Have you slept at all?”

“No. I can’t stop thinking about Rafael. How long he can last… whether… whether it’s already…”

“…Do you want me to stay for a while?”

“Yes, please. If this is my last night alive, I want to spend it with you.”

“If I was in your position, I’d feel the same way about you.”

“Really?”

“Really, Evelyn.”

Suiting up and entering the room, he gently guides her to the bed.

“Now lie down. I know it sounds impossible, but I need you to relax and try to think about something happy.”

As she lies down, Ethan gently pulls up the covers around her.

“Something happy like what it would be like if we went on a date?”

“If that’s what makes you happy then sure.”

Her happiness leaves as quickly as it came.

“What’s wrong?”

“I just feel like there are so many things that I should have done.”

“Like what?”

“I should have loved more.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’ve spent the last decade focusing on college, med school, work, always guarding my heart because I might be in another city the next year. It makes me wonder… what could have been,” she confesses sadly.

Ethan is quiet for a long moment.

“Since we’re sharing regrets, do you mind if I share one of mine?”

“Go ahead.”

Reaching across, Ethan’s gloved hand finds hers.

“I wish I hadn’t asked you to stay away.”

“You do?” she asks surprised.

“We’ve wasted so much time. I’ve wasted so much time. I should have held you in my arms every day and told you how much I… how much I love you.”

“Ethan?”

“Shh… I just needed you to know… that no matter what happens… I love and care about you more than I can ever tell you.”

“I love you too, Ethan.”

“You do?”

“Of course! I thought you knew that already.”

“I did. It’s just so wonderful to hear you say it.”

“I wish I could kiss you.”

“Soon. You will soon.”

Joining her on the bed, he wraps his bulky arms around her as eyes begin to flutter closed.

“Evelyn? Can you please look at me?”

“Hmm?”

Forcing her eyes open, she looks at him through his helmet.

“Promise me that you’ll keep fighting. That you won’t give up. Oh, Evelyn… our story’s only just begun and it can’t end here. Please… please promise me.”

“…I… promise,” she whispers before falling asleep.

The next morning she wakes up to excruciating pain in her stomach. Doubling over, Ethan reaches across from the chair for her.

“It’s okay Evelyn, you’ll be alright!”

Feeling weaker than ever, she can barely make out the blurry figures running to her window.

“Evelyn! We did it!” Aurora shouts.

“Huh?”

Baz and June enter the room with the antidote as Tobias explains how they did it.

“What about Raf? He’s much sicker than I am…”

“We administered it to him, but too far there’s been no chance. It’s possible we’re already too late.” Sienna gloomily reveals.

“But he hasn’t gotten any worse, that has to mean something!” Elijah adds.

As Ethan gently injects the serum into her vein, he whispers into her ear.

“Hang in there, Evelyn.”

Over the next several anxious hours, June comes regularly to take her blood.

Slowly, her blood pressure stabilizes and the nausea begins to fade.

As Evelyn looks around, she realizes that the room no longer looks blurry.

“Get up.”

She turns around to see a hazmat suit free Ethan stroll into the room with a big smile on his face.

“You mean…”

“It worked. There’s no trace of toxin left in your bloodstream. Even if there are still traces in the room, we know now that we can-”

“Oh!”

Evelyn flies into Ethan's arms pulling him into a tight hug.

“…What you’re saying is I’m finally free to do this?”

“Yes. This too.”

He leans down capturing her lips in a passionate kiss as tears fall down both of their faces.

“Ethan, aren’t you worried that someone will see?”

“No. After almost losing you, I’ve decided that there are more important things to worry about than what people will think. I love you with all my heart, Evelyn Long.”

Through her tears, she smiles up at him.

“I love you too, Ethan.”

{Two Weeks Later}

Taglist: @mercury84choices @a-crepusculo @emmasumbrella @quixoticdreamer16 @headoverheelsforramsey @mm2305 @adiehardfan @schnitzelbutterfingers

@choicesficwriterscreations @choicesbookclub

Please let me know if you’d like to be added or removed❤️

[chrstbll]

miracles and lucky days| ben hargreeves

(gif not mine) 

+tags: @lalisbitch @spaceclone-mom , @meowmeowrex23 @strangeyouthcrusade

plot: after coming back from the 60’s, instead of finding the sparrow academy, the group come face to face with a much more positive outcome of their actions.

                                                           -

The words of Klaus were diluted, inaudible and ringing loudly in your head. Your limbs could barely hold the weight of your body, and the nausea from jumping between timelines hitting your stomach didn’t quite put you at ease. All was blurry at first, not hearing nor seeing properly caused you to feel light-headed as well, but before your legs or your mind gave in, somebody strong arms held you up protectively.

- Are you good? – Diego’s gentle call for you brought you back to reality. He was always a little bit concerned about you. He didn’t show it in great actions, it was in the seemingly unimportant things he did for you. There wasn’t anything romantic involved between you two, instead of that it was a deep understanding of each another that made you appreciate the other significantly. You nodded to confirm that you were in fact all right, shrugging it off with a smile.

Klaus was right. After you successfully registered what he was saying, a wave of relief washed over your heart, mind, and soul. Your whole being. For once, all seven of you managed to successfully jump back to 2019 without any harm or mistake being done. It was quite unbelievable. A dreamlike scenario which proved itself to be nearly impossible to believe. Looking around the hall, everything seemed to be all right. It felt okay. The aura was intimately comforting, yet something was amiss. Different. Changed. It certainly was not a malicious ambiance that you discovered, but one new, something yet unexperienced thing. The others noticed it too, as all six of them were looking around suspiciously. Memories, feelings, and people rapidly invaded your mind, those you haven’t thought about a lot. Pogo? Grace? Are they okay now?

Luther suggested to enter the living room ahead of you, so that’s what you all mutually agreed to. Five was the one who went further on before you heroically and begged all of you to proceed with caution, because we don’t know what’s waiting for us there. The walk from the hall to the living room happened painfully slowly given that the feeling of uncertainty was sitting in one and all’s eyes and was at fault for your lack of speed. Upon realizing the academy was unnervingly noiseless, the anxiety birthed a huge lump in your throat, which you couldn’t swallow. Your heart was terrified from the possible negative outcome of this time jump. What if that moment of clarity and amenity was only a façade and was only felt because none of you faced reality in the short but drunk moment of arrival? Sometimes you thought about how nice it would be to just live without worry. To live in pure bliss, without a care in the world. Without a problem in the universe to solve. How astonishing it would be not to recall what loss, trauma, or sadness feels like. But then again, we would live in ignorance that way.

Turning towards the divans and sculptures in the living room, your attention automatically focused on the small moving figure, who was absentmindedly cleaning the shelves with dusting feathers. Recognition hit you like a truck, as the character of an ape appeared before you. Your breath hitched in your throat. Mercifully, it was a positive reaction, a sentiment you haven’t undergone in a long time.

- Pogo?! – Allison was the first one to call out their siblings’ friends’ name. Barely letting his name roll from her tongue, the sea of emotions instantly overthrew her, and tears stormed down her face. Their beloved guardian turned around in shock, he looked so puzzled, it was as he didn’t recognize the people in front of him. You feared that was the case. What if we screwed it up even more?

- Oh, children. I was waiting for you all to return – he’s spoken politely and gifted us with a kind smile, just like he always did. You almost forgot what a courteous and caring figure Pogo was. His scarce although deep voice reminded you of simpler times. A type of nostalgia which you subconsciously yearned for god knows how long. Everyone gathered around him in a matter of seconds, engulfing him in a suffocating hug. Pogo was still bewildered from the sudden act of affection, as you all were from seeing him alive and breathing, but in this instant of happiness, the questions why and how didn’t matter. What mattered was the present minute, what you currently knew as is.

And next, a voice broke the silence.

Who would dare to turn around first? Who wanted to confirm that the voice that was just heard from behind them, came from a legit source? On a serious note, was it even real? Your minds are only playing tricks on you. You were ecstatic for having Pogo back, but it would be too good to be true to turn around and see the possessor of the voice. We can’t have all the wonderful things. It never went that well for you. Your bodies turned stiff, and your feet were frozen on spot. But what made you fear to turn around? The horror of hearing something that’s not truly there or facing it bravely. Something…someone you haven’t faced in roughly two decades.

- What the hell took you guys so long? – the annoyance sounded so raw, hence genuine. You could hear and understand the words crystal clear; then why didn’t you believe your ears?

The group hug disassembled at a snail's pace and turned to face what they never expected to see ever again in their lifetime. You, on the other hand, had secretly wished for a moment like this. Your heart was aching for the chance, not caring about being rational nor delusional. It kept the faith in your soul steady.

- Please, tell me I’m not the only one who can see him – Klaus muttered.

- Ben – Diego confirmed in a hushed tone without letting out any more words as he didn’t need to. He was the bravest out of all of you to speak up.

So, there he stood in his monochrome outfit, with his black leather jacket hugging his form and a coy smile painted all over his face. The faint rosy cheeks, lively eyes and vivid emotions displayed told you everything. The Ben standing in front of you was very much real, and more importantly, alive, and well.

- All of you look like you’ve seen a ghost – he grinned from ear to ear, and his light-hearted joke legitimately freed your body from the tension which held you in your place so aggressively. Number Four didn’t hesitate one second longer, and slammed himself against his brother, who sweetly returned the embrace. Registering it, savouring it, then finally loving the physical contact, Klaus broke up in a hysterical laughter. The group succeeded to pull the strings in a way his death was luckily prevented. How the hell did we manage this? But he didn’t care. All that mattered was the present minute, what he currently knew as is.

- You’re telling me, man – his laugh slowly started to die down, but his joy only rose. Of course, a group hug was crucially needed and initiated effective immediately. Everyone surrounded him, and you held onto each other tightly, so he never slips away from your grasp again. You admitted it to yourself, that it felt heavenly, but more precisely, it felt so damn terrific. The others eventually backed away, but you stayed right in front of him.

- Hey, you – were all he needed to say for you to go flying into his arms – Where have you been? I missed you – his confession was a simple, warm, and loving anecdote, and it broke your heart in the best way possible.

You missed me?

Your loud sobbing, and ocean of tears was baffling and a mystery to him, and he looked at the others with a perplexed expression. They asked him to just let you be because they understood everything perfectly. Each tear was valid and every one of them had a reason. His arms were wrapped around your body, as he was shielding you from all the cruelty in this world. His embrace wasn’t tight, but fond and sensitive enough. You weren’t greedy at all; it was just all too marvellous. Hearing his stable beating heart as he held you close to his chest completely fulfilled you. A featherlight kiss was tenderly placed on your forehead by him, in an attempt to calm you down. It failed, as more droplets of salty water coated your apple-like cheeks. Even so, the kiss was given so compassionately, it must have come from heaven itself.

Maybe you were in Heaven. Maybe your life ended when you arrived in the hall. This isn’t real and I’m probably dead in Diego’s arms by now. But what if you accepted it as your reality now? You couldn’t believe it, even after feeling his touch and his kiss on your body. It might be because you thought you didn’t think your wish to see the person closest to your heart again would ever come true. After the horrific months you went through, it was certainly an impossibility to be gifted with something this enormous, significant, and joyous.

Maybe miracles and lucky days exist. Maybe they existed both on the same day in favour of you. I’ll accept this, I deserve this. You absolutely deserve to be happy and to drop the burden that’s been weighing on your soul for years. Nobody deserves to live their lives in inescapable guilt and grief. Having Ben back in all your lives meant the world to you. You were thinking about how you might have to fill him in on the details of the previous events, but that was a case for a later part of the day. For now, it was nice to bask in his love and warmth. You’ll care about every other issue later. This was the only feeling that mattered in that moment. Peace finally taking its rightful place back in your heart, which has been waiting for it for a long time now. He radiated pureness, an energy which was incomparable to anything else. Clutching his jacket was your anxiety making sure he doesn’t leave again. Maybe he was reading your thoughts, but at the same time he was realizing he’d never leave you even if it meant his life.

- I missed you too.

[get-lost-in-fanfiction]

if you still do requests for ben-centric stuff, could you do reader/oc time travels and meets baby ben in the 70s? or something similar >//> thank you! -❄️

Second Meeting - Oneshot

Paring: Ben Linus x Reader

Word Count: 1.8k

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

There’s something to be said about how quickly three years can go by. You can still remember how bad your headache was during the flashes. You still remember clinging tightly to Ben’s shirt before he descended into the Orchid. You didn’t know what was going to happen or if you were ever going to see him again. But the last 3 years have been a blur, full of everything DHARMA Initiative, and yet he still hasn’t left your mind.

You miss Ben terribly. Despite the many date offers by the Initiative members, you never allowed yourself to go on any of them. Juliet had tried to encourage you to go on some, even set them up for you. She knew it was pointless, and that even after three years you still held strong feelings for her old leader.

When Jack, Kate, and Hurley showed up you felt a shred of hope. You went with James to meet them, heart full of joy. It all sank when Kate never mentioned Ben at all, and you were too afraid to ask if he had come along. You were even more shocked to learn Locke had died, and were desperate to know how. You didn’t want to push it though, and your heart and brain was so full of shock you could barely get a sentence out.

You rode in silence with James back to the Barracks. You both had a silence agreement to not ask each other how you felt. That was how your friendship worked, and that’s how it always worked. From day one to now, it’s a silence agreement that neither of you two are okay but you won’t press for information.

You two are back at James and Juliet's house, rummaging through his wardrobe, grabbing shirts from hangers quickly. Juliet enters and you don’t hear her until she speaks.

“Hey,” She says and you look up while James keeps looking.

“You seen my baggy sweatshirt, the one with the bulldog on it?” He asks, still frantically pulling clothes together. You just stand there, looking at the shirt in your hands.

“It's in the laundry. James... what's going on?” Juliet asks, and James finally turns around. He gives a pained look to you, and you know exactly why.

“They're back,” You half whisper, and Juliet looks between the both of you in disbelief.

“I'm sorry. Who's back?” She asks.

“Jack, Hurley, Kate,” James replies, and Juliet has so many emotions on her face it’s hard for you to decode them all.

You tune out the conversation. Juliet’s expression did something to you. It shoved some sharp in between the cracks that were already there and threatened to shatter you. You were shaken from your thoughts as James drops the bag of clothes and sits on the bed beside Juliet. You realize you’ve been standing still for a while now and drop down beside him.

James sighs, “I don’t understand it any more than you do. But they're here, and I gotta find a way to bring 'em in before somebody else finds 'em and they screw up everything we got here.”

That's when it hits you, “There's a sub coming in this afternoon,” you say with your voice raised slightly and a sliver of hope comes back.

The next hours are a blur of trying to get Jack, Kate, and Hurley into the Initiative without raising any red flags. You think it seems to go smoothly enough, but nothing is ever simple. Especially not when Jack, Kate, and James are back involved with one another again. You watch Juliet very carefully throughout the day, and her expressions. You realize as you watch, that life as you know it has come to an end. God, planes do so much emotional damage.

When you get word there’s someone out in the jungle, some part of you screams that it’s Ben. They’ve taken him as a Hostile, which is not good. Your mind is already spinning with ideas on how to get him out. But then James gets word on his walkie that it’s Sayid, and your heart deflates. You’re not upset that Sayid is here, you just desperately wished it was Ben. So you volunteer to ride out with James to the Flame to see what’s going on.

Just as you expected, James turns you down. He says you need to keep an eye on Jack, Kate, and Hurley and he says he’ll take care of Sayid. You find yourself nodding, feeling numb. There was no one else with Sayid. You can almost feel hope draining out of your body and onto the grass beneath your feet.

You stand next to Phil in silence through the whole Orientation and picture taking. Everything seems like a blur and you’re not really present in your own head. Stuck in 1977 without the man you love.

“Okay,” Phil says and he claps his hands, shaking your from your thoughts, “Right on. So you guys have the rest of the day to get acquainted with your security protocol handbooks waitin' in your new digs. Now some of it may seem a little scary, but I promise you all, we are perfectly safe here, okay? So make yourselves at home. Come on. We got hamburgers. We got punch.”

Phil’s walkie goes off and you hear James’s voice through the other end “You there, Phil? We're coming in with a 14-J.”

“Roger that, Mr. LaFleur,” Phil’s replies and turns to you. He nods and you nod back, preparing to see your friend again

A DHARMA van stops and Phil speaks up again, “Okay, if I could get everyone to hold back, please, we have a minor security situation.”

James, Jin and Radzinsky step out with Sayid. You watch them all, and you and Sayid make eye contact. You’re surprised to see his eyes widen slightly at the sight of you. You don’t nod or make any acknowledgement that you know him, Phil is too close.

“Move,” Radzinsky says and you can’t help but flinch as they march him away.

“I guess we found Sayid,” You can hear Hurley say and you privately think that this is going to end up being a horrible shit show.

You follow the group despite Phil’s protests as you tag along while they march Sayid down the stairs of the security office and into a prison cell.

“All right, you can hang out here until we can figure out what the hell to do with you,” James says to Sayid and you have to remind yourself his tone is just for appearances sake. You don’t understand why you’re so sensitive

“What are we gonna do with him?” Phil asks James, giving you a sidelong glance. You and Phil have never gotten along. He didn’t like a woman working on the security team, but James insisted.

James sighs deeply before answering, “Bring the man some damn food. We're not savages.” James turns and locks the cell and gives Sayid a glance before walking away.

You want to stay and talk to Sayid. You want to ask him about Ben. Is he still on the mainland in 2007? Is he alive? Did he come with them on the plane? You’re torn and want to stand up for yourself, but Phil tells you to “come along” with a firm grip on your elbow and to have to comply. You give Sayid a tortured look behind Phil’s back and Sayid responds with a sad look and a bowed head.

You win by getting Phil to allow you to watch the security cameras. He sits at his desk, pretending to do work, but you know he's watching you. You sit in one of the chairs facing the screens and just start at Sayid feeling forlorn.

You hear the door open but don't bother to look up. You've been sulking this whole time feeling sorry for yourself. Your ears perk up when you hear a young boy’s voice

“Hey, Phil,” the boy says and you turn around, “I'm just gonna go in there and deliver him a sandwich.”

“All right”, Phil replies, nodding at you to keep an eye out. Your eyes widen as you watch the boy. He looks at you and your eyes lock.

Your heart explodes in familiarity at his eyes and you're in disbelief. The boy turns and walks away, obviously oblivious to what just happened with you. You scramble to your feet despite Phil’s protests and tag along with the boy.

You two enter the cell room. Sayid looks between you and the boy. The boy doesn’t seem to notice

“Hello. I brought you a sandwich,” the boy says and holds a bag through the bars, “I didn't put mustard on it, but if you'd like some, I could get some.”

“This will be fine. Thank you,” Sayid replies. The paper bag crinkles and your throat is dry. The boy looks up at you and you smile apprehensively at him. It’s meant to be reassuring but you don’t think it comes off that way.

“Are you a Hostile?” The boy whispers, looking at you with a terrified expression. You’re unable to say anything.

“Do you think I am?” Sayid shoots back, flicking his eyes over to you every few seconds.

“What's your name?” The boy replies, and it’s a game of questions. You squat down next to the boy, ready to pull him away if Sayid gives away too much information.

“Sayid. What's yours?”

“I'm Ben.”

Suddenly your ears are ringing. You almost fall over but catch yourself on the wall. Sayid is looking at you funny, seemingly shocked as well but more shocked at your reaction.

“It's nice to meet you, Ben,” Sayid replies with his eyes on you.

It’s Ben. It’s young Ben. You had no idea he was with the Initiative. Was he the one who started the Purge? ‘Oh my god’ you think. Young Ben leaves, giving you a weird look. He doesn’t recognize you, but how could he? Time is so fucked up, and you’re not even sure if this is the same Ben that you fell in love with. Will they grow up to be the same?

You press your back up against the nearest wall and slide down onto the floor. Your heart is pounding a bruise into your ribcage and you're lightheaded. Sayid looks at you, seemingly nervous to speak. You wouldn’t know what to say to him anyway. You're feeling way too many things at once to even be able to think about anything but oxygen to your deprived lungs.

Eventually, Phil comes storming in, pulling your shocked form off the floor, and sending you home. It's dark and chilly outside. All the lights of the houses are out except for James and Juliet’s. You don't go see them, you have to go home and process this whole day.

You make it home, barely flicking on a lamp before collapsing into bed in your jumpsuit. You manage to kick off your shoes and shimmy under your bed blankets. Maybe you don't have your Ben back, but at least you have a Ben.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Please let me know if you’d like to be tagged for oneshots!

[helaintoloki]

Odds and Ends

pairing: Ben Hargreeves x reader, Five Hargreeves x reader

warnings: angst, some fluff, mentions of blood, death, unrequited love

notes: listen, the pairings sound odd but they make sense when you read it i promise

prompt: “There’s a time for us, it’s just not now.”

They say when you die your life flashes before your eyes; you witness the moment of your birth from an outsider’s perspective, you revisit your first steps and your first love, you remember the quiet nights of rainfall on the windows and the smell of freshly cut grass on early school morning’s. You can recall how it felt to get your heart broken for the first time and the warmth you felt wrapped in your mother’s embrace. It is quick and long all at once, like watching a movie, except everyone fails to mention what happens once the credits begin to roll. Where do you go? What do you see? What do you do?

You’d been the first to get struck by the Handler’s gunfire, a bullet flying straight through your chest and embedding itself in your heart. You died almost instantly, and despite the pure horror that struck Five at the sight of your gruesome death he could do nothing to save you as he too crumpled to the ground. It was a split second of pain, and then you were gone.

Just as you had been promised, flashes of the life you had lived pass you by with the same quick clicks of a slideshow presentation on a projector. You could see yourself nestled in your mother’s arms, the swaddle of blankets encompassing your figure shielding you from the outside world. You watched your younger self shyly display your powers to a stoic Reginald Hargreeves, seven heads curiously peeking through the crack of the door to get a look at the team’s newest edition while your mother watched on anxiously. You saw the way in which you napped upon Five’s shoulder, the rainfall pattering gently against the window as he read the pages of his favorite novel, and you relived the sadness that came over you at his disappearance. You witnessed the quiet nights of stargazing alongside Ben, experienced your first kiss again and your first time falling in love only for it to end in bloodshed and a snowy funeral with tearful apologies and guilt ridden thoughts. Everything you’d ever lived through plays out in front of you right until the final gunshot, and then everything around you goes dark. There is nothing.

You’re not sure how long you sit in the empty space where life ends and the afterlife begins, but soon enough you find yourself wandering through the doorway that suddenly presents itself to you. There are no clues as to where it might lead, but light bleeds through the cracks and beckons you to step forward before you can change your mind. You’re overwhelmed by the warmth that surrounds you the moment you step foot inside, and it takes you a moment to adjust before you can fully comprehend where you are.

The room you stand in is quiet, sunlight filtering through blinds and coating the cream colored walls in golden hues. Colorful houseplants line the shelves and photo frames fill in the empty spaces— moments from different points of time occupy the frames, stolen glances and hidden kisses and dreamy smiles. You gravitate towards the photo next to the succulent plant and gingerly pull it from the shelf: it’s a photo of you and Ben as children, and with a watery smile you bring the picture close to your chest and clutch it tightly against your heart.

“I thought you’d like it,” a voice says gently, your whole body stiffening in surprise at the sound. A single tear slides down your cheek before you can will yourself to turn around, and you nearly drop the frame at the sight before you. He’s different than you remember him, but he still has the same kind eyes and gentle smile that you missed ever so dearly. His eyes seem to sparkle at the sight of you, welling with tears as he opens his arms to you. “Hi, y/n.”

“Ben,” you whisper in a trembling voice, a choked sob escaping you as you fling yourself into his arms and hug him impossibly tight. You can feel the warmth that radiates from him almost as if he were alive, can sense the way his arms wrap themselves around your waist and squeeze you unbearably close to his chest, and you can savor the sensation of his plush lips pressing against your forehead in a tender kiss.

“I’ve missed you,” he whispers, afraid that if he raises his voice any higher he’ll disrupt the peaceful quiet you find yourselves in. “I didn’t expect you so soon.”

“I didn’t either,” you admit with a weak smile. Chills crawl down your spine as you’re reminded of your own death, but you push the thoughts away in order to make room for Ben. After all these years, you’ve finally been reunited with the love of your life, and if you’re being honest you aren’t quite sure how to act. It almost doesn’t feel real, and a small part of you is afraid of waking up and finding that it was nothing but a dream. Ben pulls your attention towards him with the careful guidance of his finger underneath your chin, his reassuring features calming your nerves.

“You’re not dreaming,” he promises you. “This is real, you’re home.”

“I’m home,” you reiterate with a tearful smile before carefully cupping his face in your hands. “I’m home.”

(Five’s body tremors in time with his breathless panting as he struggles to fight against the heaviness of his eyelids. His body is warm and cold all at once with the blood that slowly pools around his figure, and he uses some of the last remaining strength he has to turn his head and look upon your body. You lie lifeless and still, hair splayed around your head like a halo and crimson red seeping through your clothing, and a shuddering breath leaves him at the sight. His first love, his only love, the one that could have been had he not gone against his father’s wishes all those years ago, is dead, and it seemed he could do nothing to stop it. Soon he would join her along with the rest of his siblings in the quiet afterlife, and so would come the final end of the Umbrella Academy.)

“I’m so sorry about what happened to you, Ben. You were so young, you didn’t deserve it, and if I had just-”

“Hey,” he interrupts gently, “it wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t anyone’s fault.”

“But being alone for this long...”

“I’ll admit, it wasn’t exactly a walk in the park,” Ben says with a faint chuckle, “but I’m okay now, we’re okay, and I don’t have to be alone anymore.”

“I missed you,” you profess vehemently. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” he says with a careful smile, one that slowly begins to dwindle with time.

“Ben?” You prod gently. “What is it?”

(All Five had ever wanted was to keep you safe, whether it be from a scraped knee after a bout of rough housing with Diego or the end of the world, it was his job. You’d fallen in love with his brother in the wake of his absence, something Five could never blame you for no matter how much it hurt, and it was through Vanya’s book that he got a glimpse of the life you had lived without him. Your secret romance with the Horror, your descent into loneliness and isolation after his passing, your work as a nurse under the guise of a fake name so that you could use your gift without anyone ever associating you with the life you had lived as a child. You didn’t want it, and he’s sure you didn’t want this— to die such a horrible death at such a young age when you still had your whole life ahead of you. Five had lived long enough to see what the world had to offer, if he were to die now he’d have all the boxes checked on his list, but you and his siblings still had so much to live for and so many things left to do.

“I just want you to be careful,” your voice echoed in his mind, young and naive and apprehensive about Five’s plan to travel without Reginald’s permission. “Be smart about this, smarter than you usually are, and make sure you come back home.”

“You’re the genius who said we should jump. Right?” Luther. “You’re the one who got us stuck here.”

“Start small.” The voice of his father. “Seconds, not decades.”

Wait a minute, that’s it! By god, that’s it!)

“You can’t stay.”

“W-What? I don’t understand, what do you mean I can’t say?” You sputter, taken back by Ben’s blunt declaration. You were dead, where else could you go, what else could you do besides spend the rest of eternity with the love of your life?

“You can’t stay,” Ben repeats solemnly. “You can’t die yet, it’s not your time.”

“But I am dead! A bullet literally went through my heart, I don’t think you can exactly come back from that,” you protest anxiously.

“I can’t explain it, but trust me when I say that it isn’t time for you yet,” Ben pleads, gently taking your trembling hands in his own and giving them a soft squeeze. “You still have so much to do in life, so many great things. You’re going to get married, you’re going to settle down in a nice little house with cute little kids running around the place, and you’re going to be happy. So happy. But you can’t do that here, so you have to go.”

“Ben, please,” you beg through a sob. “Please, I want to stay here with you. Don’t make me go back, don’t make me leave you, I can’t.”

“Hey, hey, hey,” Ben shushes gently as he cups your face in his hands and brushes away your falling tears. “Hey, it’s okay. Y/n, I promise you we’ll see each other again, okay? I promise.”

“But I just got you back,” you croak, and Ben can only offer you a trembling smile in return.

“There’s a time for us,” he reassures you, “it’s just not now.”

Ceaseless tears fall down your cheeks as you collapse into his arms, your hands clutching tightly at the fabric of his sweater the same way in which a small child would clutch at their favorite blanket. Ben is warm and safe, he is home, and your heart aches at the thought of having to say goodbye a second time— you could hardly handle the first. You had been inconsolable, your sobs had been gut wrenching for the rest of team, and if not for Allison urging you to eat and take care of yourself you might not have ever recovered from your grief. The universe was unfair and unkind, taking the person you loved away from you not once but twice, and despite how strong you wanted to be for Ben you couldn’t help but feel defeated.

“Will you kiss me while there’s still time left?” You snivel, holding on tightly to Ben’s wrist as he reaches up to cup your face and caress your cheek with his thumb. He smiles, sweet and tender, and pulls you close.

“I’ve waited seventeen years to kiss you again,” Ben professes, and without a second to waste he pulls you in close and presses his lips against your own in a long awaited kiss.

(Time is reversing. Five can feel the blood slowly seeping back into his body, bullet wounds seem to heal themselves and the corpses of his loved ones are beginning to reanimate as everything becomes undone. The pain is nearly gone, and it’s with a newfound determination that Five wills himself back onto his feet and travels back seconds in time to prevent their deaths, to prevent your death.)

You can feel yourself slipping away from him, you’re losing your grip, and despite how desperately you try to cling to him your touch is beginning to fade. Ben can faintly feel your lips against his own and knows that it’s time, but he holds onto you for just a little longer until he can’t feel you in his arms anymore. He pulls away with a bittersweet smile and releases you from his hold, eyes gazing at you for the last time.

“You get a second chance,” he says. “Make the most of it, and don’t worry about me. I’ll be here when you’re ready.”

(With a startled gasp Five finds himself back in time just moments before your deaths. Your eyes meet his his frenzied ones and you frown, gently reaching out to him.

“Five? Is everything okay?”

He doesn’t get the chance to answer before he’s disarming the Handler of her firearm, and it’s with that single act of defiance that your death is finally reversed.)

You don’t remember your death and you don’t remember your reunion with Ben. You’re none the wiser, and Five wants to keep it that way. With the Handler dead and the threat of the Swedes gone your life is no longer in danger, and he finally feels like he can breath again.

“You okay?” Your voice sounds gently, pulling the boy back to reality. He gazes upon your figure, wisps of stray hair straying from your braid and a questioning though kind smile on your face, and a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding leaves his lips at the sight of you. You don’t return his affections and you’ll never be together, but he can live with that so long as you’re safe and sound.

“Never been better,” he replies with a closed lip smile. You catch the boy off guard by pulling him into your side and giving his shoulder a tight squeeze, an act of affection only you can get away with, and after a moment has passed you release him with a small giggle.

“Come on,” you gesture as you begin to follow Vanya and the others, “we still have work to do.”

He walks beside you in a comfortable silence, and though he doesn’t know it there’s a faint voice that echoes distantly in your mind, one you can’t place but find soothing nonetheless.

“There’s a time for us.”

And there will be, but for now you’ll just have to wait and see.

[missnight0wl]

Ask time xD I got myself thinking, why Rowan's Imperius attack happened the way it did?

I don't know all about the Imperius curse, but I would assume the person doing it, somehow, was watching them. And let's assume MC would undoubtedly say they don't want them to hurt neither of her friends at the question which is a stupid question because by trying to kill MC, the objective was not to send a warning.

So I was wondering why do in front of all those friends? If they wanted that to work why not influence Rowan to be alone with MC then turn rogue? Because MC cares enough about Rowan that just a threat to their safety would leave them shaken up. Were the friends present there, the ones the attacker wanted to be there? Barnaby AND Ben are both people prone to protect MC and I guess Jae would too had the situation gotten dyer.

Idk just the way everything happened and why it happened... I know it brings a sense of uncertainty - I guess they could control any of my friends at any moment -, but then... it never happens again. Unless I'm reading this all wrong and the intent was to prompt MC into a duel with Rowan.

Please enlighten me with your theories if you'd like x)

In short, I don’t believe that Rowan was Imperiused by R back then, not really. And it actually has quite a lot to do with our old discussion about Pettigrew, so I’ll just link it here. Now, to the proper explanation.

First things first. Yes, you’re right about the Imperius Curse. I mean, I believe that you can control people even with bigger distances (Draco controlling Madam Rosmerta, Death Eaters controlling people at the Ministry). However, when you cast the curse, the distance matters. I’m pretty sure both Rakepick and Snape mentioned that: “Time and space matter in magic” a couple of times around Rowan’s incident.

It was also pretty heavily implied that it was Pettigrew who was behind the curse. Percy was lurking in the background with Scabbers, Rakepick was asking us about our surroundings later as well:

The only correct option here is Percy. Bill was with Rakepick in the Training Grounds at the time, and Charlie with Snape. In the last part of Y5Ch19, we learn that Patricia actually got deeper into the case:

So yeah, I think it’s pretty safe to say that it was indeed Pettigrew. The thing is that I doubt he did it on R’s order– and that’s mainly because, as you pointed out, this whole situation didn’t really make sense.

At the beginning of Y5, we were attacked by the Red Cloak who told us:

By the end of the year, we found out that R needed MC because of the Legilimency door. I still believe that MC is also needed for the final Vault and the Legilimency thing is kind of a bonus, but either way, the point is that Rowan’s attack happened before the Portrait Vault. It’d be incredibly stupid from R’s point of view to put MC in danger then. But that's what they did:

Moreover, I absolutely agree with your point about all of the witnesses present at the scene. In Y4, R forged the note from Kettleburn and attacked us when we were alone in the Courtyard. At the beginning of Y5, we were only with Ben. In both cases, it was evening and the attacker was wearing the Red Cloak. R cares about secrecy. So, what the hell happened with Rowan? Well, here’s what I’m thinking.

First of all, I believe that Pettigrew’s only connection with R is that he was supposed to deliver the vault portrait to Hogwarts. That's it. I imagine that they somehow learnt that he’s alive, and they were like: “Hey, get that portrait to Hogwarts or we’ll reveal your secret about being alive and hiding as an Animagus”. Let’s remember that at that point, R wanted MC to reach the Portrait Vault, and MC needed the portrait for that. Also, look at what Pettigrew himself told us:

Maybe it’s just me, but he doesn’t seem particularly upset about losing the portrait. Also, he technically didn’t say that Peeves stole it from him. I think it’s possible that Peter left the portrait somewhere for MC to find, and Peeves stole it from there. Pettigrew simply witnessed it.

Back to Rowan’s attack, though. We know that Rakepick was on Pettigrew’s trail back then already, right? So, I assume that by making that whole scene, Pettigrew wanted to draw Rakepick’s attention to MC and R instead. Like, he knew that she’s after him:

Unfortunately for him, it backfired and helped Rakepick connect the dots.

I mean, to be fair, I guess it did work in a way, just not exactly how Pettigrew wanted. Because Rakepick’s words in Knockturn Alley suggest that thanks to the attack, she figured out that Percy’s rat is very suspicious. On the other hand, Rakepick herself was mysteriously missing after we returned from Knockturn Alley, and she came back only after Pettigrew Obliviated us. So, I believe that that’s when she started some kind of negotiations with R. In other words: yes, she knew about Pettigrew, but at the same time, she got occupied with more important things, and so she dropped Pettigrew’s case.

Anyway, the important thing here is that Pettigrew didn’t know everything because R didn’t tell him to do anything beyond delivering the vault portrait. Therefore, he thought it wouldn’t matter if he tried to hurt MC. But then, how he’d know that R threatened in the past that they’ll hurt one of our friends? I mean, judging by Rowan’s words:

… he had to know something. Well, perhaps he was told some limited information, or he learnt about it through eavesdropping or something. Either way, in my opinion, the fact that Rowan attacks MC (if we don’t choose anyone) proves that Pettigrew wasn’t told the most important thing: that MC is very valuable. And it’d make sense if Pettigrew was simply a puppet, just a delivery boy.

And yeah, I think that’s it. If I wasn’t clear about something or you’d like me to elaborate, let me know!

[writing-is-thorapy]

Angstpril Day 7: Friendly Fire AND Day 11: “This Isn’t You”

It’s been five years since everything changed, since the world as he knew it completely collapsed, since his brothers became nothing more than drones for an evil empire. Though he and Ahsoka had started doing work for the Rebellion, Rex never stopped looking for and rescuing any brothers he could.

He had saved so many, each and every one of them a step in the right direction, a step toward ensuring they were all free, there is still one person he has yet to find. Rex listens in on Imperial channels, listens for whispers, rumors, anything that may lead him to his lost brother. 

Nothing.

Rex had been on a recon mission in the Outer Rim when his ship was shot down by Imperial Forces.

As he staggers out of the crumpled cockpit, miraculously still able to walk, he groans.

Tatooine. Of course it had to be Tatooine.

His nav systems are fried, so he just gathers what supplies he can, chooses a direction, and walks. 

He continues like this for some time, absolutely boiling in the desert suns. 

“Stop,” a distorted voice calls out from behind him. Rex obeys, his hands drifting to his blasters as he slowly pivots to face whoever called out to him.

The black armor of a purge trooper stands in stark contrast to the varying brown and tan shades of the desert, the red visor glaring menacingly.

“Hey, I’m just a traveller,” Rex says warily. “If you could just direct me to—”

“CT-7567,” the trooper snaps, an electrostaff gripped in his hands. “You are wanted for treason and are to be captured and subsequently executed.”

“You’ll have to get me first,” Rex snarks, painfully reminding himself of his General.

They launch themselves at each other, exchanging punches and kicks. Rex is hit by trooper’s staff more than once, and wishes he too had saber-proof armor. 

With a well-aimed kick, Rex separates the trooper from his staff, and the two resort to hand-to-hand. 

And then it happens.

Rex doesn’t even know how, but the trooper’s helmet is ripped off of his head.  

The world stops.

Rex is face-to-face with the brother he’s been fruitlessly—hopelessly—searching for. 

Though he looks a little older—they both do, really—the scar that creeps around his eye and down his face is the exact same.

But Cody’s eyes… 

Cody’s eyes are dead.

Rex’s shock is costly; Cody hits him across the head with his blaster and pins him to the ground.

“Cody,” he says, feeling desperate. “Cody, this isn’t you. C’mon, snap out of it, vod.”

Cody continues to stare at him dispassionately, finger on the trigger.  

Rex has stared down the barrel of a blaster more times than he count; heck, he’s been shot at by brothers before. 

But this is different.

This is his ori’vod, the best friend that protected him and stood by his side no matter what, the brother that has saved his life again and again.

It’s only fair that Cody be the one to end it, as well. 

Rex exhales, readying himself for the final blow, the final moment. 

It never comes. 

Instead, Cody flies sideways, as if violently pushed. 

Shocked, Rex looks the opposite direction.

Brown cloak and tan robes waving in the dry desert wind and lightsaber hanging on his hip is none other than Obi-Wan Kenobi. Though the desert has aged him—his hair and beard are less colorful than they used to be and there are wrinkles on his face that weren’t there before—he looks just as fierce as threatening as he did during the height of the War. 

“General Kenobi,” Rex whispers reverently, barely believing his eyes.

“I haven’t been ‘General’ for a long time, Captain,” he replies as he walks towards Rex. “Please, just call me Ben.”

“Only if you call me Rex,” he replies. 

Before they can exchange any more pleasantries, Cody slowly rises, grains of sand clinging to his armor like stars in the night sky. 

When he catches sight of General Kenobi Obi-Wan Ben, he staggers back, seemingly disoriented. He cups his head in one hand, expression twisted in pain and eyes screwed shut. Rex and Ben begin to slowly approach him as one would a wounded animal, but Cody shakes his head and looks back up, expression blank and eyes empty. 

“General Obi-Wan Kenobi,” he growls, the waver in his voice almost imperceptible. “Under Order 66, all Jedi are to be executed for treason against the Republic.”

“Cody…” Ben begins, the anguish evident in his expression. He takes a step forward but Cody is quick to unholster his blaster and point it at the Jedi. It’s a DC-15LE, Rex vaguely recalls.

“G-good soldiers follow orders.”

He fires. 

Like lightning, Ben brandishes his lightsaber and deflects the bolt.

And so they fight.

Jedi versus Commander, brother versus brother—and yet somehow, somehow, they are able to subdue Cody.

After Ben secures Cody’s unconscious body on his dewback, they set off to the Jedi’s hut.  

Once they arrive and settle Cody in Ben’s bunk, the Jedi uses some Force-trick to disable Cody’s chip (Rex didn’t even need to tell him about the chips. Apparently he already knew). Rex sends a quick message to Ahsoka using Ben’s secure comm to let her know that he was okay. He would tell her everything else when he saw her next—she definitely deserved to know that Obi-Wan Ben was alive, but he wasn’t willing to risk passing along such top-secret information when there was still a possibility the message could be intercepted. 

Cody wakes up two days later.

Obi-Wan is in Mos Eisley grabbing supplies, so it’s just him and Rex. The latter is reassembling his blasters when he hears a soft groan from the bunk. Rex quickly looks at Cody and, after seeing his stir, quickly stashes his blasters away and out of sight. Just in case. 

Cody opens his eyes and blinks blearily at Rex. 

“Hey, Cody,” Rex says, willing his voice to remain steady. 

For what seems like eternity, Cody stares at him, confused, until he gasps, eyes widening in realization. 

“No,” he murmurs, voice cracking as his eyes fill with tears. “No!” Cody shoots upward, clearly intending to escape from the bed, but Rex stops him, wrapping his brother in a tight hug. 

“Cody,” he whispers, his eyes burning. “Cody, it wasn’t your fault.” 

At Rex’s words, Cody stops struggling.

And then he screams, a wordless expression of pure anguish. He curls into Rex’s embrace and sobs, great heaving, heart-wrenching cries ripped from his throat one after the other that are no less painful despite being muffled by how his face is pressed against Rex’s chest. 

“Rex, oh Force, Rex,” he whimpers. “Vod’ika.”

Rex tightens his arms around Cody. “Ori’vod,” he rasps in reply, tears dripping down his face.

And so there they remain, while Cody begins to process everything that his body has done and Rex simply relishes having his brother back. 

They are so distracted that neither of them hears the door open and close, feels the desert breeze that slithers into the hut.

Neither of them realizes that another is present until he speaks. 

“Commander.”

Cody freezes. 

“It’s ok, Cody,” Rex whispers, marginally loosening his grip. 

Slowly, oh-so-slowly, Cody uncurls from Rex’s chest and peeks over his shoulder. 

Out of the corner of his eye, Rex sees the shock and disbelief, the self-loathing, the hope on his brother’s face as he truly sees the General he had long thought to be dead. 

Cody chokes on a sob as otherwise-silent tears stream down his face. 

“General,” he murmurs, the declaration filled with a myriad of emotions Rex can’t possibly identify. “I-I killed you.”

“And yet here I am,” Ben responds, his voice laced with affection. 

Rex slowly releases his brother, allowing Cody to rise from the cot and slowly walk towards Ben, looking as if he is seeing a ghost. 

And in a way he is.

Cody stops an arm’s length away, looking as if he is physically restraining himself from leaping into Ben’s arms. 

Instead his knees give out and he falls to the floor, head bowed. Ben looks dismayed but refrains from reaching out. 

“If you’re going to kill me,” Cody chokes out, “Then just do it. I know what I’ve done.”

Surprise and distress flit across Ben’s face (and when had he been so expressive?) before he kneels directly in front of Cody, hesitantly placing a hand on his shoulder and ignoring the way Cody stiffens in response. 

“Cody,” Ben replies, “I’m not here to kill you. I’m here to help you.” 

Rex is unable to see Cody’s expression or hear if he has said anything, but whatever it is causes Ben to utter, “Oh, Cody,” and wrap him in his arms. 

“Ni ceta, alor,” Cody whispers, the words so soft that Rex can barely hear them. “Ni ceta.”

Ben only tightens his grip, murmuring in Cody’s ear.

Rex silently creeps out of the room, wishing more than anything to reunite with his General.

And though Rex doesn’t know it yet, he will. Just not in the way he wants nor expects.

After all, he always joked that General Skywalker would be the death of him.

Mando’a Translations:

Vod= Brother

Ori’vod= Big brother

Vod’ika= Little brother

Ni ceta, alor= I’m sorry [extreme], leader

[fandomlit]

proposal (ben hargreeves x reader)

requested by @moonlightavenue​ “Hey! I was holding you could write a one shot for the umbrella academy with an alive Ben Hargreeves where he asks the reader to marry him? I would love something really fluffy with my boy! There’s not enough out there 🥺”

summary you and ben started a life together after the horrors of the academy. but when he has to face the past, he hopes having a fiance with him will make it easier to bear.

gif cred belongs to @tuagifs

“one day we’re gonna leave here.” ben looked over at you as you continued, “one day we’re gonna hightail it out of here and be happy without your “family”.” you looked over at him, and he found his breath being taken from the way your eyes sparkled in the moonlight. “right?”

he gulped as he nodded, his eyes never leaving yours. “as long as im with you, i’ll do anything.” you smiled as he placed a hand on yours.

“you’re a wonder, ben hargreeves.”

“and you’re a wanderer, y/n l/n.”

you shifted the box in your arms as you looked around the apartment. you didn’t notice ben come up behind you.

“are you gonna just keep staring at it, or are we actually going to move in?” he chuckled in your ear, making you jump slightly. he laughed at your reaction.

“moving in sounds nice,” you said, stepping into the house and placing the box down. “not that we have much to move in.”

“we will soon,” ben assured, placing a hand on your back and pulling you close to him. “we have dad’s money, remember?”

“sounds like a hassle,” you groaned, falling back. he kept you supported with his arm as he laughed.

“you’ll get over it,” he grinned at you.

you leaned back up to huff at him. you swept some hair off his forehead and muttered with a sigh, “you’re right. it’ll all be worth it when we make this place ours. you know, not just with the papers.” he chuckled, pulling you forward for a kiss.

“you’re right. first step, though?” he hummed, making you sigh again as he reinforced, “moving in.”

“damn!” klaus exclaimed when ben presented the ring to him. “yes, i’ll marry you.”

ben shook his head, closing the small velvet box again. “shut it.” klaus gave him a teasing grin as ben nervously said, “do you think they’ll like it?” he looked back down at the box again, toying it between his fingers as klaus responded.

“nah.” ben’s gaze whipped up to him as klaus shrugged, giving him a genuine smile as he proclaimed, “they’re gonna love it.”

“never thought i’d be up here again.” ben looked to see you standing behind him on the roof of the infamous academy, hands tucked into your pockets. you gave him a smile as you looked to him. you looked just as captivating as you had all those years ago. “did you?”

“i was hoping this place would be burned to the ground in a heap of ashes and no regrets,” he sighed, resting his head in his hand as you sat next to him. 

you let out a short chuckle as he rested his arm around you, pulling you into his shoulder. “i know it’s awful to be back.” he nodded. “and we can leave whenever you want, but i think we need to stay for the next couple of days. you know, with five back and all.” he nodded again.

“yeah,” he sighed. “but i don’t want my partner with me.”

“i don’t think you’re getting rid of me, babe,” you chuckled honestly.

“well, me neither,” he said, slipping his hand down to grasp the small box in his pocket. “hopefully, i’ll never have to.” he pulled the box out and he heard you let out a small gasp. “maybe i don’t want a partner with me.” he looked down to where you rested in the crook of his arm, eyes swimming with stars as you stared ever so dreamily at your love. “but i wouldn’t mind a fiance.”

he popped open the box, but your gaze was stuck to him. you leaned in and pressed a passionate kiss to his lips, just as you had many times before on that cursed roof. 

“i don’t think i would mind, either.”

[definitely-not-samayoi]

The translation is complete, so please have some more saemaji (I'm posting this once again because the first time I got the formation wrong). That's only the next chapter, there are several more incoming! The first part below:

Chapter 1

Majima came home late that day. He looked somewhat terrible: blood from a split eyebrow flooded his face, a purple bruise was forming on his cheekbone, and when Majima smiled broadly at the sight of Saejima, he saw bloodied teeth. Saejima sighed heavily and without further ado pulled out a first aid kit from the cabinet.

“Some bastards from Omi,” Majima explained eagerly, hissing as the antiseptic hit the wound. "What the hell are they even doing here?"

"Whatever they're doing here, yer very lucky yer still alive," Saejima said with a chuckle as he worked on a bruise on Majima's cheekbone. “Musta been some small fry, or you'd be lying in an alley somewhere with a bullet in yer head.”

"I wouldn't!" Majima snapped decisively. “I tried to talk to them in Kansai-ben, but…”

“Ya have Tokyo written on yer forehead,” Saejima snorted, imagining Majima trying to pass in front of Omi as their own. “And ya can torture people with yer kansai-ben. No wonder they figured it out.”

Majima frowned in disgust, but Saejima knew full well that he was listening to his every word. From the very next day, Saejima began to notice that Majima was diligently copying his accent.  At first, it looked ridiculous, and Saejima couldn't help laughing a couple of times, for which he immediately received a sharp elbow punch in the ribs.

Yasuko's surgery was scheduled for a week later, and Saejima was becoming increasingly anxious. He slept poorly and ate poorly, something even Patriarch Sasai himself noticed when Saejima accidentally bumped into him in the corridor of the headquarters.

"Listen, lad," Sasai patted his shoulder paternally. “Yasuko-chan will not be happy at all when she leaves the hospital and sees a weak shadow instead of her older brother. And don't forget that I need you to be able to carry out your duties. What kind of yakuza are you if any of the bastards that roam the streets knocking pocket money out of elementary graders can kick your ass?”

"Oyaji," Saejima bowed so sharply and low that Sasai burst out laughing.

"You won't be able to take good care of Yasuko-chan if you don't take care of yourself first. So you better get a grip, Saejima!”

Saejima bowed again, and Sasai, thinking that Saejima had been sufficiently impressed by his speech, left with a final nod to him.

Of course, Sasai was right about everything. . Before Yasuko had been admitted to the hospital through his efforts, Sagejima had not given much thought to their future: there were too many things in the present that required his care. But now that Yasuko's return was only a matter of time, Saejima couldn't find a place for himself. Yasuko has to go to school. She also needs to eat well to recover from her surgery. Saejima himself had to make do with instant noodles; sometimes he'd manage to snatch a box of expired bento at a good discount. Saejima's stomach could probably digest nails, so he didn't worry about himself. But Yasuko…

Majima, of course, was also aware of his condition. During their time together they had learned to read each other as no one else could, to the slightest change in the tone of voice, the tiniest wrinkles between the eyebrows. 

"Hey, kyoudai," Majima stubbed out the butt of his cigarette on the lid of the urn. “You're a pain to look at. I know you're worried about Yasuko-chan, and that's fine, but… Look, you're not alone now, are you? I... I've actually decided to join Tojo, too. I'm gonna help! At first it'll be the little things – you know how it is – but then…”

"Kyoudai," Saejima sighed deeply without looking at him.

“Don’t kyoudai me! I'm talking serious stuff here! And if you start your “I don’t want to owe you” bullshit, I'll kick your ass so hard Yasuko-chan won’t recognize you when she returns! And, besides…”

Before Majima could finish, Saijima grabbed him, squeezing him tightly in his arms. Majima froze, but then relaxed, hugging Saejima back.

[c0ffeebee]

you got any rare kliego fic recs? i’ve probably read the first five pages of most kudos’d results but i know there are a ton that slip thru the cracks

ok, i'm sorry for replying so late, nonny, but i guess looking at the list you'll understand why ❤

i'll be honest with you once i've gotten into kliego i read through their entire tag of ao3 [at least those fics where i was ok with the tags and summary felt intriguing] so now i literally went through it again and picked those of the fics the names of which i remembered, and there's A LOT 😀 some of those are really popular, some not at all, but i remember loving those ❤

at first i thought i would tell you a bit about every fic on the list, but it would take me forever, so i will just give you titles/links, authors and summaries, hope it's fine ❤ look out for the tags tho, to know if you’re fine with everything! and some of those are benkliego ❤

i'm sure i forgot or missed something, but i did my best, trust me ❤

so without further ado i present to you: 

bee's big kliego rec list (in no particular order)

till you can breathe on your own by iwishii

Diego has never been more frightened than he is now, trying to help his brother reach the surface in time.

❤ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ❤

practice makes perfect by iwishii

Klaus doesn't want to show up to parties totally inexperienced and virginal, so he asks Diego to help him get some practice in.

❤ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ❤

master of my domain by achilleees

“You’re asking five 13-year-old boys not to jerk off for – it can’t be done,” Luther says. “Now that we’re older, it would be different, but back then –”

“Excuse me, I could do it,” Five says. “I could certainly outlast all of you.”

They all look at each other.

“Oh, no,” says Allison.

❤ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ❤

the year that wasn't by achilleees

Diego turned to Five. “I’ve already, uh, lived today. This has already happened.”

Everyone went still.

“Ooh, that’s a mind-fuck,” said Klaus.

❤ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ❤

The Weight of Himself by sarkywoman

If he could, Diego would unfurl his middle finger.

For the 'can only move the eyes' square at badthingshappenbingo. Reginald's experiments have devastating consequences on Diego, but both he and Klaus refuse to let that be the end.

❤ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ❤

Laid Bare by MilenaDaniels

“So,” Five continued matter-of-factly, “you’re in a cramped, human sized box, in a graveyard where you can’t see light or hear sounds. What are the odds that you’re above ground?”

Diego blinked. He thought he’d been smelling the iron of his blood pooling and drying under his head but it was humid in here, and musty.

“Fuck,” Diego said.

Diego and Klaus are buried alive together.

❤ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ❤

Flies in the Kitchen by yourfearlessleader

Klaus is sixteen and love is a rot.

❤ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ❤

Before, During, and After by yourfearlessleader

Before the apocalypse, life was making the best of a bad situation, and Klaus found that he grew up to be very good at it.

During is, for lack of a better word, hard.

After they try to kill Vanya, after the apocalypse, after they jump through time to avoid it, after they survive and make up and a million and one other things, here they are.

❤ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ❤

break it like you're breaking a code by findyourfortunefalling

"Are you planning to sit in a chair like a person today, or are we all eating our breakfast off of you this morning?"

"Kinky," Klaus purrs, but he rolls off the table anyway, and piles himself into a seat near the head of the table. Diego puts the plate of pancakes in front of him; he's put blueberries in them today. "Thank you, chef."

"Eat," says Diego. "Quietly."

Instead of replying, Klaus picks up a pancake with his fingers, stuffs the entire thing into his mouth at once, and chews noisily.

Diego sighs, and goes back to the stove. "Man, I remember a time when you were house trained."

❤ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ❤

two boys emerging from shadowed hallways by spikeymarshmallows

After Ben dies, Diego drags a broken Klaus out of the Academy. They're both determined to never return, to find their own way out in the world.

Things are not as easy as they would like.

❤ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ❤

the things i can't say by  spikeymarshmallows

"Diego, wait!" Klaus shouted, clutching Diego's arm.

"You look like Antonio Banderas with long hair," he choked.

*

Five times Klaus doesn't say 'I love you'.

❤ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ❤

Into the Night by  spikeymarshmallows

"Hey," Klaus whispered, "hey, Diego, wake up." Diego grumbled, dragging his blanket higher up his body before settling again. "Hey." Klaus tried again, voice a little louder. "Hey, wake up." He poked at Diego's arm insistently.

*

The Hargreeves siblings go on late night adventure to get doughnuts

❤ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ❤

all tangled close by spikeymarshmallows

They were all going to have to deal with the pheromones for however long Klaus' first heat lasted.

Diego was, in a word, screwed.

*

Five times Diego and Klaus have heat sex; and one time they don't.

❤ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ❤

the kliego genderswap/sexswap by spikeymarshmallows

The name speaks for itself.

❤ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ❤

The Fools' Journey by sweetstuff

After his release from prison on a manslaughter charge, Diego tries to leave behind the life he adapted to survive on the inside. He finds himself drawn to a beautiful and peculiar sex worker named Klaus in a local bar, and when danger strikes Diego makes a decision that will have them both running for their lives.

❤ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ❤

and death i think is no parenthesis by laiqualaurelote

“You guys seem really chill about all this,” observed Ben. “By this point most people are running around screaming.”

“Occupational hazard,” said Klaus.

“I’ve lost a lot of blood,” said Diego. “I’m just accepting everything at face value right now.”

Allison is the best damn realtor in the business, and she is going to sell the Hargreeves Mansion if it kills her. Never mind that it’s packed to the rafters with the ghastly relics of grisly murders, or that there’s a vampire in the basement who looks like a 13-year-old, or that the medium she hired to exorcise its inhabitants keeps flirting with some of them, i.e. the one with the knives and the one with the tentacles. Or that if they all spend enough time together, they just might cause the apocalypse.

NotSiblings!AU that is basically The Umbrella Academy as American Horror Story: Murder House, though you need not have seen any AHS to read this.

❤ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ❤

i got troubles (they won't let me be) by antipathy

“I don’t understand why you’re hung up on this.” Five didn’t bother to mask his scowl. “Let me spell it out for you: either you two fuck, or we all die.”

❤ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ❤

Eye Of The Storm by shadowhive

Diego decides to surprises Klaus by taking them on a weekend trip, but it doesn’t go as planned.

❤ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ❤

Mine, All Mine by Electra_XT

“No!” Klaus said. “Move the other way.”

“What are you trying to get a good look at, exactly?” Diego said.

Klaus blinked at him. His eyes were wide and kohl-rimmed, as fetching and alluring as the rest of him. “Why, your ass,” he said. “That thing is fine.”

❤ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ❤

On Sight by Electra_XT

“Oh,” Klaus said, stopping in his tracks with his hand on the mouse.

Ben leaned over his shoulder. “‘Cute Latino camboy gives a show’?”

❤ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ❤

Practice Makes Perfect Sense by punk_rock_yuppie

“Practice… kissing?” Diego asks.

❤ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ❤

Aftershocks by punk_rock_yuppie

Saving the world is hard work, is Klaus’ last thought before succumbing to the heat of the puppy pile he and his other siblings have formed.

❤ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ❤

Passenger by Cunninglinguist

“And you’re sure that’s okay?”

“I mean, yeah. It’s fine with me. All we have to do is ask Diego.”

“And you think he’ll be...cool with it?”

“Dunno.” Klaus shrugs and stirs his smoothie with his straw. “But I’m on board with it, and he usually gets on board with whatever I’m on board with, so. I’d say it’s at least worth an ask.”

Klaus feels Ben’s eyes burning into him as he sips his beverage. Sure, the idea of Ben possessing him had initially been about as appealing as a coffee enema, and the first few times in practice had been more than slightly traumatizing. But once they’d established ground rules and worked to get more in tune with one another, Klaus had come to find the experience to be...interesting. It could be pleasant, almost zen—there is no sensation in the world quite like being a passenger in one's own body. And to be privy to both his own sensations as well as Ben’s? Well, that’s something else entirely.

Which is why the idea of Ben possessing his body during sex both freaks him out and turns him on in equal measure.

❤ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ❤

i am a dark and wicked thing by Cunninglinguist

Klaus is staring at Diego with hollow eyes, straw still perched between his lips. No reaction, not even a spark of joy or schadenfreude as he watches Diego disrupt breakfast. Diego shifts. He’s seen corpses before, and were Klaus not sitting close enough to touch, chest rising and falling visibly with his breath, Diego could easily mistake him for one.

Vampire!Klaus AU

❤ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ❤

The Diamond Sinners by Cunninglinguist

Another drink and a half later, he’s finally back on the right side of numb. The house lights dim and a new dancer is announced. He’s gazing across the club, eyeing the buffet with semi-tipsy hunger, thinking that it’s probably time to call it a night, when suddenly, his heart stops dead in his chest.

There, onstage, rolling his lithe body sensuously against the pole like he was summoned out of one of Diego’s wet dreams, is Klaus.

❤ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ❤

Broken Like Me by Starrstruck_64

“This s-s-stuff will kill you,” he says plucking the cigarette out of Klaus’ fingers, delighting slightly in the fact that he’d only partially stumbled through the sentence.

Klaus smirks and it’s such a far cry from his fun loving brother he had two weeks ago that Diego nearly flinches.

“Ever stop and think that’s the plan,” Klaus says moving to stand and reaching to snag the cigarette back.

❤ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ❤

sing it out, hard as you can by plingo_kat

The first time it happens, Klaus doesn’t notice.

❤ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ❤

Soft by Dirty_Corza

Sometimes, between the boxing matches and vigilante business, Diego likes to be soft.

Klaus and Ben surprise him by liking the softer side of him, too.

❤ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ❤

Wait for it by nishiki

A mission gone wrong, a dream shattered.

❤ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ❤

all that i have to lose by UnrememberedSkies

Diego does some good, and Klaus pays the price. 

❤ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ❤

wasp by Chelseylovesllamas

Diego is scared of bugs, Klaus saves the day.

❤ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ❤

Friday at Four by Kliegology

Diego's life takes a nosedive when he's forced out of work and into an art therapy class. He's clinging to his last shred of normality when he meets Klaus, who takes one look at him and threatens to tear it away.

“I think you’ll find you have a lot in common with the other people there,” The Therapist said, watching him shrewdly.

Diego was vividly reminded of the jittery, barefoot man in the pink fluffy cardigan. He snorted. “I don’t think so.”

❤ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ❤

[isabellitah]

🤍 HARGREEVES x SIBLING

Title : fly high

Pairing : none

Warning : your death- but it’s not completely sad : D

Note : turns out i private posted this last week

you were on your third mission with your siblings- minus Vanya

it was all going so well

until it didn’t

they didn’t see it

not Luther

not Diego

not Allison

not Klaus

not Ben himself

heck-

not even Five saw it

but you did

and so-

you pushed Ben out of the way and got stabbed by a robot right on the abdomen

you felt a sharp pain go through as you were dropped onto the cold harsh floor you before you felt numb

your body felt heavy- yet empty

at first you heard nothing but white noise until it cleared for a second and the last thing you heard were your siblings’ cries and shouts of your name

and then-

nothing

huh…

so this is what dying felt like…

You sighed as you watched Klaus look for another pouch of drugs. You can’t stop him- you never can.

He can see you but for some reason he can’t hear you.

So he always thought of you as some random hallucination that’ll haunt him til the day he dies.

Speaking of death- ever since you died, you’ve always been present. And right before your eyes, you saw your family fall apart. Luther blamed himself for failing you as Number One. Diego blamed himself for not being able to get rid of the robot before it killed you. Allison regrets not being within hearing range of the robot in order to rumor it. Klaus felt guilty for being a coward. Five felt horrible for not getting to you quick enough. Ben felt guilty because he believed that he’s the reason that you died a painful death. Vanya felt horrible for not being there for you.

At first Klaus couldn’t see you. However one day, you were shocked, honestly, when he just stared at you straight in the eyes before calling out your name. You were elated- an entire month later- he finally saw you but as you opened your mouth to speak- you were disappointed and heartbroken to see the hope flash out of his eyes. He couldn’t hear you…

He never told the others that he can see you- it’d just raise their hopes for nothing.

Days later, Five got into an argument with Father and ran out of the house. You tried to follow him but the moment he flashed away, you knew you couldn’t follow him wherever he was and went back home and waited for him. And waited. And waited. And waited.

Years past and everyone moved out of the house. You stayed there years after the last child left, waiting for Five.

When you reached eighteen, however, you decided to move on and look after another sibling.

And you chose Klaus.

Ben was with him for a while when you first arrived, but unfortunately his job later on called for him to leave the country as he was a well-known poet. He was doing so good with Ben around.

But when Ben left, he spiralled not soon after. Ben sent Klaus a monthly allowance that he unfortunately chose to waste on drugs.

It broke your heart to see how much he struggled- to see a hallucination of your dead sister who can’t talk yet hear the angered screams of the souls who weren’t ready for death-

It broke you to see him like that and not be able to help.

Flash forward and here you are back in the home you inhabited for the first eighteen years of your life, alive and dead.

Five just came back and told the family of the impending apocalypse so they readied themselves to do whatever they could to stop it.

As you watched Klaus place the pills in his mouth, in a desperate attempt you called out, “please don’t…”

And he stopped.

He turned to you and gaped.

He spat the pills out and shakily asked you to repeat what you said.

Wait a minute…

Yours eyes widened in realization, “you can hear me?”

“Holy sh- Tee???” when you nodded with tears slowly clouding your eyes, he went towards you without thinking about anything and hugged you.

It’s been years since you felt warmth.

It felt… odd. But it was a good sort of odd.

“I missed you, Klausy.“ you whispered tearily as you slowly wrapped your arms around him. When you actually felt him, you let the tears fall.

A sob wracked through both of your bodies.

“I-I missed you too, Tee. God I can’t believe I can hear and hug you.”

You both stayed in that position for a while before letting the other go to properly look at each other.

“I love you, Klausy,” you whispered, extracting another sob from your emotionally distraught brother.

“Stop it, Eightie,” he sobbed, “my eyeliner’s going to be all ruined now.” to which you playfully rolled your eyes at. He hiccuped before responding, “I love you too.”

A knock startled you both before Ben peeped his head in, looking at Klaus with a curious gaze, “were you talking to someone?”

Realizing this meant you were invincible once again, you sighed but remained hopeful of being able to communicate with your siblings one day.

Now that you knew Klaus could do this, you knew he can be stronger than all your siblings ever thought he could be.

You smiled as you watched Klaus tell Ben of what happened earlier and Ben looked excited to know that there was a possibility that he could talk to you once more. That he could see you again soon.

Ben talked to you while Klaus told him what you said in reply.

While he was tortured by Hazel and Cha-Cha, you could do nothing but watch in horror and cry. Your fists went straight through Hazel’s back no matter how hard you tried. No matter how many time Klaus told you to leave- to avert your eyes- you stayed by his side.

To the future and back home, you never left him. Losing Dave and seeing all the souls lost to war haunted him and worsened his already deteriorating mental health.

But you and Ben- you were both there with him through thick and thin. You and Ben were there for him and helped him through his depression after he lost Dave to war. Neither of you left his side.

Sometimes, while Klaus was asleep, you and Ben laid on a blanket on the floor just talking. Well, Ben talked. And while he couldn’t hear your reply, he carried on talking as though he could until he fell asleep- with you looking after both him and Klaus as night turned to day.

“Hey uhh guys?” Klaus started speaking after much persuasion from you, “maybe I could help.”

“Now is not the time for your jokes, Klaus.” Luther said dismissively, not even glancing at Klaus, and you narrowed your eyes at your eldest brother.

You mumbled under your breath about how much of a rude butthead he was and while Klaus would normally laugh at that, he was too focused on the fact that his heart was beating so fast, afraid of being rejected by his siblings once more. He should be used to it by how many times it’s happened but- he just isn’t. Okay?

So he was shocked when Diego, of all people, disagreed with Luther for him, “no, let him finish. He saved my life today.”

Ben looked at Klaus with a raised eyebrow and seeing his look, Klaus glanced at his left where Ben assumed you were.

“Is that true?” Luther asked, and you bobbed your head up and down so quick even with the knowledge that your siblings - minus Klaus - couldn’t see you, Klaus was shocked to see you didn’t get whiplash. Can ghosts even get whiplash? Anyway, he faced his siblings ahead of him and took a deep breath before answering.

They either believe him or don’t. Who cares- he knows he’s telling the truth. And Ben believes him so that’s two siblings on his side. And that’s okay. You two are enough to make him feel loved and enough.

“Yeah. Yeah, I did,“ he let out a shuddering breath, “I did take credit for that. When in fact, the real hero was Eightie.”

You felt your heart sunk as your siblings - minus Ben - looked at Klaus with varying degrees of unamusement. Five even looked pissed at him.

Klaus hurried to continue. “Today…listen. T-.” be stuttered, losing the confidence he had to talk the more that he processed his siblings’ faces. “Ben knows she’s here- th-they talked before! A-and earlier at the house, she saved Diego’s life, not me. I swe-.”

“You are unbelievable, Klaus.” Luther said, looking at Klaus with an expression eerily similar to the one Reginald used to give Klaus as a child and hearing Klaus’ whimper was your breaking point.

You felt your blood boil at the injustice your brother received from his own brother.

“You want proof, is that it?” Klaus asked, looking at you for confirmation. And when you nodded he continued speaking, “all right! I’ll give you proof. Right- it’s showtime, Tee!” Klaus picked up a bowling ball, hefting it in his hands with a pleading look in his eye directed towards you.

God, he hoped his powers don’t fail him now.

You took a deep breath before positioning yourself to catch it. As Klaus let the ball up in the air, you prayed that you’d be able to catch it. Catching things were never your strong point and a bowling ball to your toes did not sound pleasant, at all. You blinked in surprise as you felt something heavy land in your hands. Looking down- holy- you caught it!

“Klausy, look-” your cheer was cut short by the gasps from your other siblings- oh yeah, they can see you now.

Your eyes widened and a shock expression took over your facial features as the process sunk in.

They can see you now!

You looked down at the hot pink colored ball with a shocked look, before grinning from ear to ear, “Klausy, look! I did it! You did it! We did it!”

Klaus’ mouth was open in awe. “Yeah… Yeah, we did.” He moved towards you, took the ball from your hands, deposited it back on the ball rack he took it from, and drew you into a tight hug. “I’m so proud of us, Tee.”

Luther paled as he stared at the sight in front of him in shock.

Diego was torn between shock and happy.

Allison was covering her mouth with tears in her eyes.

Five looked genuinely surprised and had nothing sarcastic to say for once.

Ben looked both happy and proud.

Klaus has been trying to get you to tangible for weeks now and finally, you were once again. And just in time to show off to the others, too.

“How is this possible?” Diego asked as you made your way over to Ben and proceeded to hug him.

“Well, dad mentioned that I had only begun scratching the surface of my powers. I think there’s a lot that I haven’t figured out how to do yet.”

“I missed you, Benny,”

He huged you tighter to himself, “I missed you too, Eightie.”

“I’m so fucking so-”

“Stop right there. It’s not your fault, okay? Nothing is. I did what I believed to be right, and I don’t regret it- and neither should you.”

You both continued hugging one another before letting go to approach Allison.

You smiled at her and wiped the tears falling from her eyes, watching as her lips mouthed your name over and over again.

“Hi, Alli…” you chuckled tearily before pulling her into a hug, “I missed you so much.”

She clung to you tightly and you could feel her tears dripping onto your blouse as her sobs shook her body in your arms.

It was disheartening to be reminded of the fact that now that she can see you, you can’t hear her talk to you directly.

After a few moments, perhaps minutes even, you pulled away so you could go hug and have a little chat with your remaining siblings, “at least I’m still older than someone, huh,” you said, nudging Five with your elbow and grinning at him causing him to grace with his rare scowl. It was rare because it had no bite to it- it was more of a fond scowl. He squinted his eyes at you for a bit before replying, “I’m 58, Tee, I just look 13.”

“Oh, I know. I was there when you told everyone of your adventure,” you shrugged before wrapping your arms around his waist, “good to have you back, Fivey.”

“I still detest that nickname…” Five hesitated for a quick second before wrapping his arms around you, “but I guess if it’s you, it’s okay.” it was such a good moment until- “at least I’m still taller than you, huh?”

“Oh shut up,” you giggled as he chuckled, “I missed you, Fivey… I love you, you know that, right?”

“I missed you too, Tee, and yeah- but it’s good to be reminded every once in a while.”

You parted from him, which he hesitantly did so, before walking towards Diego. You weren’t surprised when he pulled you into a hug so high that it lifted your feet off of the ground. “It’s so good to see you again, Eightie.” you smiled as you felt tears start to cloud your eyes once more, “it’s good to see you too, Dee. I missed you all so much- it was so hard being able to see you but not being able to talk to you.”

When Diego set you down, you started walking your way over to Luther. He still looked shocked and a tad pale to see you right in front of and walking towards him.

“Eightie… I-” you cut him off, “I want to say aomething before we continue with this little reunion, okay?” Luther’s mouth snapped shut and his eyes slightly widened at the authoritative yet soft tone your voice took, “This goes for all of you- but especially you, Luther. Stop doubting Klaus. Stop discouraging him. Stop belittling him. Instead, listen to him. Give him a chance- and start respecting him. He’s done more than enough to deserve it and you all know it.”

“Awww! Thank you, Eightie!” said man-child blew a kiss accompanied by a wink in your direction.

“Right. You’re right.” Luther agreed before turning to Klaus, “Klaus… I’m sorry for doubting you and for not giving you a shot.”

Diego was quick to chime in, “me too.”

“Me three.” Five sent a small smile in Klaus’ direction.

Allison raised her hand in as a way of saying “me four.”.

Ben looked at Klaus before smiling, “I had faith in you- but I am sorry for not being here sooner to help you.” to which Klaus smiled at him then proceeded to hug him, “thanks for not leaving my side.”

You grinned at the moment shared between the two brothers, “Okay… Now that that’s out of the way…” you wrapped your arms around Luther’s waist the best you could, “I missed you too, Luthy.”

Suddenly, you disappeared from his embrace and your siblings looked around worriedly before they noticed that Klaus passed out in Ben’s arms. Ben carefully sat him on the nearest chair available- which wasn’t far at all.

“To make Eightie tangible once more… it must’ve used up a lot of his energy,” Five murmured before walking over to his passed out brother and made sure his chest was still rising and falling in pattern.

“Well what do we do now that he’s unconscious?” asked Luther to which Ben replied, “we’ll let him rest for a bit- maybe half an hour then get him some cheesy fries or nachos or something. That should make him bounce back pretty quick.”

“Did someone say fries?” Klaus asked groggily, his hand resting on his head trying to get the pounding to stop.

Diego grinned, approached him and placed his hand on his shoulder, “one order of cheesy fries with cucumber lemonade- comin right up.”

The moment Klaus made you visible to the land of the living once more, you immediately washed at least half of the masked men out of the building by torpedo-ing the ones in front and near you away. With that done, you immediately made your way towards Vanya. You two had always been close- close enough that you can call yourselves each other’s best friend, and you hoped that that would help you in convincing her to stop. You didn’t want anything bad to ever happen to either her or your other siblings; they all deserved to live long, happy lives.

You stopped in front of her and smiled softly, “hi, V,” her impassive look melted into one of confusion, “Eightie…? How are you here?” her hand slowly stopped playing on the violin.

“Klaus learned a new trick recently. Amazing, isn’t it?” your eyes shined with so much excitement that all Vanya could say was, “yeah…” you could see the tears glistening in her eyes, “it’s amazing, Eightie…” you missed your best friend and you knew she felt the same way as neither of you got to see each other the day you died as you all left for the mission way before Vanya left her room to start her day. You gently placed a hand on her arm, “V, please- you need to stop playing.” some of the steel returned to her eyes, and you’re first thought was that that didn’t belong in Vanya’s eyes- Vanya’s eyes are warm- never cold, “this was supposed to be my moment, Eightie. I just wanted one accomplishment of my own- one thing I could be proud of.”

“And you should be, V. You should be proud of yourself and of what you do. You sound so amazing- your tunes and timing are in sync and it’s just absolutely soothing to hear you play your melody,” you said before frowning, “I know that this whole newly awakened powers thing must be scary for you, but if you stop playing and lower your violin, we can help you, V. We’ll help you learn how to understand and control your powers. And we’ll be patient with you and not treat you like an experiment unlike what father would’ve done- had done.”

Vanya was openly sobbing now as she voiced her concern, “what if they can’t be controlled- what if I’m just a monster?” she looked down at the ground and lowered her hands until they rested at her sides.

You cupped her cheeks in your palms and forced her to look at you in the eyes, “Vanya Hargreeves- you are the kindest one out of all of us, okay? You always have been. Trust me when I say this- you could never be a monster. And I know this as not only your sister, but also your best friend.”

Vanya’s shoulders sagged as she felt all the tension leave her body causing her violin to drop onto the floor, “I’m sorry, Tee, I- I’m so sorry…” she murmured as she hugged you and tucked her face into the crook of your neck.

You hugged her before reassuring her, “it’s gonna be okay, V. We’re going to be okay.” you tightened arms around her as she started trembling against you as you felt more tears against your neck, you felt your heart break for your sister. Vanya never deserved any of this- to be secluded from everyone when she had no powers only to be pushed away now that she discovered her powers, “come over here,” You said, waving your siblings over, “and join in on comforting V.”

“I, for one, never wished for you to be either secluded or locked up, Vanya- you’re my sister,” said Five as he jumped near you. He suprisingly joined the hug willingly, wrapping his arms around you both the best he could, “and believe it or not- I do love you both.”

“Awww! Who knew Fivey had a soft spot in his wittle black heart- don’t glare at me like that- I’m just kidding- I know you love me too,” Klaus said as he and Ben joined in the group hug, “And I think it’s safe to say that none of us wanted you locked up.” to which Ben added, “We love you so much, Vanny.” and as Vanya opened her mouth to reply, Diego and Allison also joined in the group hug, “Klaus’ right, Vanya, none of us wanted you trapped in there. Also, Allison wants you to know that we love you, ‘kay?” Vanya chuckled through blurry eyes lined wih tears, “I-I know that now and I really appreciate it- I-I love you guys. All of you.”

You all looked towards Luther who stood a few steps away from your group hug. He was shifting from one foot to the other as his face showed how uncomfortable he felt. He took a deep breath, “I messed up, Vanya- I- I know that I shouldn’t have tried to kill you nor should I have locked you up. I wasn’t thinking straight- that’s not an excuse but- I should have tried to help you understand what was going on instead of harming you. I’m so sorry.” Vanya saw how apologetic he looked and gave him a soft smile, “I’ll forgive you, Luther… As long as you forgive me.” Luther smiled as he approached your group and wrapped his arms around all of you, “deal; love you, Vanny.” Vanya smiled, “I love you too, Luther. All of you, really… And thank you.”

It took a few years but- Vanya finally felt accepted for who she was, felt included and loved in her own family. You smiled as you felt a tingling sensation- you can now finally move on knowing that you did what you were meant to do.

For the first time in years, you were all complete and happy together… Unfortunately, it’d be the last time you experience it with them. They didn’t even notice you were no longer there until they broke apart. And they didn’t even notice that they’d never see you again until Klaus mentioned your absence for the past few days.

Then and there it clicked in their minds… You never moved on until you were sure that they were together and happy- like a real family. You made sure that none of them were ever going to be alone, ever again.

‘Typical Eightie… we’ll miss you… and we love you… fly high, Tee.’

[princessconsuelapark]

my ultimate Sam and Dean are soulmates playlist | 61 songs, 3 hr 59 min

I started putting this together over my summer SPN re-watch, and I thought I'd share it with you all, so we can all cry over our Wincest feels together. It has all the usual cliché songs, and some of my own favourites. (Very country-heavy, so if that's not your thing proceed with caution.) I'm a writer, so lyrics are very important to me - I linked them for every song. All songs are individually YouTube linked, alternatively you can find the Spotify version above. I included some comments and explanations for all my choices, as well as quotes from the show. Happy listening! | Last updated: 18 November 2020

Carry On My Wayward Son by Supernatural: The Musical Cast // lyrics // Cliché and all that, but a good place to start.

Somewhere Only We Know by Lily Allen // lyrics // Even as children - as tumultuous and layered their relationship has always been - it was just the two of them, alone, in their own little world. I Found by Amber Run // lyrics // I found love where it wasn't supposed to be.

Fade Into You by Mazzy Star // lyrics // Unhealthily codependent Weecest vibes.

I Wanna Be Yours by Arctic Monkeys // lyrics // Secrets I have held in my heart / Are harder to hide than I thought. Something's Gotta Give by Christian Kane // lyrics // Wanting to get out of town as a metaphor for Dean wanting to act on his feelings for Sam? Yes, please. Christian Kane being a country god? Absolutely. The fact that this man was actually on SPN as Dean’s freaking love interest, and Jensen and him got to sing together still makes me the happiest person on this planet.

Don't You Wanna Fall by Frankie Ballard // lyrics // So, I love the lines Fall down here where an angel should know better than / To walk around this world with me, because god, Dean so often thinks he belongs in Hell, and is terrified of forcing his little brother into anything he doesn’t want. But still, he can’t stop himself: Don’t you wanna fall? (Shoutout to any Destiel shippers out there, because what a perfect song for you guys too, wow.) Thinking of You by Christian Kane // lyrics // Dean, just before Sam leaves for Stanford. (Link is for the Leverage version, because I love that show, and because Eliot Spencer is an angel. Funnily enough, Alona Tal was actually in that very episode, and did actually sing this song - you can find that here.) Hold On by Limp Bizkit // lyrics // I'm waiting for you, I know you're leaving / I'll still adore you, you never need me. LOST BOY by Troye Sivan // lyrics // Thinking about little Sammy’s stolen college admissions guide. Arms of a Stranger by Niall Horan // lyrics // Some jealous!Dean, while Sam is at Stanford angst.

Walking Away by Lifehouse // lyrics // Silence is all we have to give / And the memories of a life I wish we'd lived.

San Francisco by Niall Horan // lyrics // Listen, it’s a song about pining and not being able to let go and love in San Francisco. I mean, where do you expect my mind to go? Stanford Wincest all the way. How Did You Know? by Jedward // lyrics // I don’t wanna hear a bad word about Jedward, they are good lads. It’s a cheesy song, but hey, I love it. Sam comes back. Well, here I am / I couldn't stay gone. Drive by Halsey // lyrics // All we do is drive / All we do is think about the feelings that we hide. And the California never felt like home to me line! So perfect. "We made a hell of a team back there." (01x01 Pilot) Belong by X Ambassadors // lyrics // This is where Sam belongs, really. Riding shotgun, in his brother’s car, on the open road. Link is a fanvid that makes me feel things. Go and watch it, because it’s everything.

You Could Be Happy by Snow Patrol // lyrics // “Sam, you were right. You gotta do your own thing. You gotta live your own life.” (01x11 Scarecrow) Do the things that you always wanted to / Without me there to hold you back, don't think, just do.

Big Black Car by Gregory Alan Isakov // lyrics // "Who was that?" "My brother." "What did he say?" "Goodbye." That soft, disbelieving, confused look on Sam's face when Dean tells him he's proud of him. When it turns out Dean loves him enough to let him go. It should make him feel happy and free, it should make him loathe his childhood, defiance should fill him to the brim. Instead it makes him run straight back to Dean. (01x11 Scarecrow) Hey Brother by Avicii // lyrics // Faith. (01x12) Link is a fanvid, because reasons. Oh, if the sky comes falling down, for you / There's nothing in this world I wouldn't do. Sober Me Up by Frankie Ballard // lyrics // Sam always seems to make the world all fall into place. (Sort of 02x03 Bloodlust vibes?) But baby when you kiss me all the demons seem to disappear.

Always Gold by Radical Face // lyrics // “Killing this demon comes first, before me, before everything.” “No, sir. Not before everything.” (02x07 The Usual Suspects) And they said you were the crooked kind / And that you'd never have no worth / But you were always gold to me. Sold My Soul by Zakk Wylde // lyrics // Bit on the nose, but my god, how fucking real. (02x22 All Hell Breaks Loose: Part 2) Let Me Sign by Kirk Matthews // lyrics // "Well, then let it end!" & "I'm gonna take care of you." (02x22 All Hell Breaks Loose: Part 2) Follow You by Bring Me The Horizon // lyrics // “I mean, you sacrifice everything for me.  Don’t you think I’d do the same for you? You’re my big brother. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you.” (02x22 All Hell Breaks Loose: Part 2) Say Something by A Great Big World // lyrics // "I just wish you'd drop the show and be my brother again. Cause... just cause." (03x07 Fresh Blood) Take Me To Church by Hozier // lyrics // “This obsession to save Dean? The way you two keep sacrificing yourselves for each other? […] Dean’s your weakness. And the bad guys know it, too.” (03x11 Mystery Spot) Outlaws of Love by Adam Lambert // lyrics // "You're my weak spot. And I'm yours." (03x16 No Rest for the Wicked) Everywhere we go we're looking for the sun / Nowhere to grow old, we're always on the run / They say we'll rot in Hell, but I don't think we will / They've branded us enough, "Outlaws of Love". Wanted Dead Or Alive by Bon Jovi // lyrics // Well, I had to include this one, for obvious reasons. (03x16 No Rest for the Wicked) In Other Words by Ben Kweller // lyrics // Dean's going to Hell. Sam's not okay. In his eyes I see the fear. Real With Me by Cady Groves // lyrics // Dean is not dealing well with remembering Hell. Sam is upset that he's not opening up. And it was never about what you were not / But I don't know how much longer I can hold on. Devil's Backbone by The Civil Wars // lyrics // None of it matters. Leaving for Stanford, choosing Ruby, the demon blood, that he’s Hell’s chosen. Dean will always come for his brother, no matter what.   Stay by Florida Georgia Line // lyrics // Sam leaves. It's fucked up. "Hey, you, uh... wanna take the Impala?" Dean doesn’t trust him, not like he used to, but he would say anything to make him stay. (05x02 Good God, Y’all) Hotel Room by Calum Scott // lyrics // They die in a motel room. They find out they share a Heaven. Sam can't find the words to explain. He wishes Dean would just give him time. (05x04 The End) So I kind of wrote a ficlet about this...? Read it if you fancy. Here Tonight by Brett Young // lyrics // The Wincestiest Wincest song to ever Wincest. The lyrics! Sometimes they can just take a minute to sit on the hood of the Impala and watch the stars, Apocalypse be damned.

I Hold On by Dierks Bentley // lyrics // “Sam, it’s okay. It’s okay, I’m here, I’m here. I’m not gonna leave you.” (05x22 Swan Song) Dean believes in his brother, and I’m a sucker for pick-up truck metaphors Lifeboats by Snow Patrol // lyrics // The look on Dean's face when he hugs Sam, when he realises that Sam's back, that he's alive. (06x01 Exile on Main St.) Potentially also some Purgatory vibes. Wild Horses by The Rolling Stones // lyrics // The moment Sam turned up on his doorstep, there was no question he'd choose him. Choose him over Lisa and Ben. Choose him over everyone. “But the minute he walked through that door, I knew. It was over. You two have the most unhealthy, tangled-up, crazy thing I've ever seen. And as long as he's in your life, you're never gonna be happy.” (06x06 You Can’t Handle The Truth) Heavydirtysoul by twenty one pilots // lyrics // “Pick one... Sam’s soul or Adam’s.” “Sam.” (06x11 Appointment in Samarra)

H.O.L.Y. by Florida Georgia Line // lyrics // Oh, this song. A bit of religious irony and whatnot, but my god. The lyrics are everything. You're the healing hands where it used to hurt immediately makes me think of how Dean helped Sam turn the pain from his scar on his palm into “stone number one, and build on it”. (07x02 Hello, Cruel World) I mean, Sam can't even tell what's real anymore, but he trusts his brother. Blindly and with everything he has, because that's who he is. But then there’s also Dean making his promise in the church, and Sam choosing him over dying in 09x01 (I Think I’m Gonna Like It Here). God. Just. I love this song for Sam and Dean.

Through The Dark by One Direction // lyrics // "We'll figure it out, okay? Just like we always do." (08x23 Sacrifice) Leave Out All The Rest by Linkin Park // lyrics // Sam is okay with sacrificing himself. He is ready to die. When my time comes / Forget the wrong that I've done. Demolition Lovers by My Chemical Romance // lyrics // “There is nothing, past or present, that I would put in front of you... I need you to see that." (08x23 Sacrifice) Okay, but look at the lyrics, and try and convince me this song is not about Sam and Dean. Love Will Tear Us Apart by Fall Out Boy // lyrics // "You wanna know what I confessed in there?" (08x23 Sacrifice) TALK ME DOWN by Troye Sivan // lyrics // The look in Sam’s eyes changes, his face falls. "How do I stop?" He chooses Dean like he always does. (08x23 Sacrifice) Brother by Kodaline // lyrics // “Come on. You and Dean? That’s something special, don’t you think?” (09x08 Rock and a Hard Place) Link is a gorgeous fanvid, go watch it and cry. Little Lion Man by Mumford & Sons // lyrics // Dean really messed up this time. Gadreel fall out stuff. Sam breaks up with him in a motel car park in Wisconsin. (09x12 Sharp Teeth)

better off by Jeremy Zucker & Chelsea Cutler // lyrics // "Something's broken here, Dean." (09x12 Sharp Teeth) & "No, Dean, I wouldn't." (09x13 The Purge)

I Can't Go On Without You by KALEO // lyrics // Sam taking Dean’s body home, laying him on his bed, drinking by himself in the dark. (09x23 Do You Believe in Miracles) I Won't Give Up by Noah Guthrie // lyrics // "I am going to save my brother." (10x01 Black) Sam never gives up on Dean. Brother by NEEDTOBREATHE ft. Gavin DeGraw // lyrics // “I never even said thank you, so…” “You don’t ever have to say that, not to me.” (10x04 Paper Moon) Link is another beautiful fanvid, because I can’t help myself. Sittin' Pretty by Florida Georgia Line // lyrics // Sam's sunshine and he’s endless planes of warm skin, soft long hair, and sometimes Dean looks at him. Really looks at him. (No, okay, but the Chevy line really made it for me.) Blood Brothers by Luke Bryan // lyrics // "I don’t need a symbol to remind me how I feel about my brother.” and "The two of us against the world!” "What she said.” (10x05 Fan Fiction) I don’t know, country songs just make me think of Sam and Dean, okay.

I Will Follow You Into The Dark by Daniela Andrade // lyrics // “This is my life. I love it. But I can’t do it without my brother. I don’t want to do it without my brother. And if he’s gone, then I don’t…” (10x18 Book of the Damned)

Golden by Fall Out Boy // lyrics // Dean is so so broken. “No, there is no other way, Sam. I’m sorry.” (10x23 Brother’s Keeper)

Church by Fall Out Boy // lyrics // This whole song screams Sam and Dean to me, and initially I thought of Sam’s Wall breaking down, but then I got stuck on the lines And if death is the last appointment / Then we're all just sitting in the waiting room / I am just a human trying to avoid my certain doom and that’s so clearly Dean killing Death, unable to murder his little brother in the end, because his devotion to Sam runs too deep. (10x23 Brother’s Keeper) In which the SPN writers and Pete Wentz really should get together and discuss over-the-top religious imagery. You are doomed but just enough. Right Back Home by Lifehouse // lyrics // “We are home.“ (11x04 Baby) Be There by Seafret // lyrics // "Bring him back. Bring him back and take me instead." (11x17 Red Meat)  You're my way out / You're my way through / And I can't, I can't / Be without you.

Only the Brave by Louis Tomlinson // lyrics // “I need him, he needs me.“ (11x23 Alpha and Omega) With or Without You by U2 // lyrics // The absolute poetic tragedy of 12x09 (First Blood). The way they don’t even have time to really look at each other after six weeks apart, that they are both ready to die for each other without a moment of hesitation.

I Won't Mind by ZAYN // lyrics // “I'm good with who I am. I'm good with who you are. Because our lives? They're ours and maybe I'm too damn old to want to change that.” (14x13 Lebanon)

Fine Line by Harry Styles // lyrics // "Just us.” (15x19 Inherit the Earth)

[tory-ben-hi-shelton]

my favourite quotes from exposure

Multiple sets of handcuffs appeared and were applied. Bailiffs began peeling off the dog-pile like layers of an onion. And there, at the bottom of the scrum, was Kit. He was panting like a marathoner, arms still wrapping the Gamemaster's legs in a death grip. He'd clearly been the first to react.

"Oh, man!" Shelton had both hands on his dome. He seemed winded, despite not having moved during the attack. "Things just got real in here."

"Sorry I froze in there, Tor." Shelton frowned as he shirt wiped his glasses. "Not exactly my 'One Shining Moment', huh?" I waved off his apology. I knew Shelton hated how skittish he could be.

I try to hide the eruptions, but the guys can always tell. They do their best to support me even though it makes them uncomfortable. It's very sweet, but teenage boys make lousy grief counsellors.

The previous semester, Ben had been in half our classes, too, despite being a junior. Obviously, he was no longer around. Sometimes it felt like a limb was missing.

"Jason might be there," Courtney chirped. "He likes you."

"Oh." Not a brilliant response. "Yeah, maybe. I might have a thing, though."

Wonderful. Good job, good effort, Tory.

Behind me, I heard Hi fake coughing to cover his snickers

"I should be a secret agent." Hi blew on his fingernails, then buffed them on his lapel. "Or a magician. Maybe both. Someone write that down."

My hands shot for the Ray-Bans, but Ben caught my fingers mid-flight.

"It's not nice to grab," he said calmly.

"I can't handle all this tension," Shelton moaned. "Too much fighting."

Hi nodded, watching Ben dissapear down a side street. "We need to work on our conflict management. Maybe attend a seminar."

"Make your own?" Hi shifted to look at my face. "Victoria Grace, have you been holding out on me?"

"Tell me everything."

"You're not gonna be happy," Hi warned. "Don't kill the messenger."

"Or his good-looking buddy," Shelton added.

"On Saturday Ben and I drove to John's Islands to see Skyfall."

"You did?" Hi said sharply. "Thanks for the invite, jerks."

Shelton raised his palms. "You were at temple. We're suppose to wait around? Plus, you've seen that movie like five times."

"You still could've asked," Hi grumbled. "I don't—"

"Guys!" I clapped my hands once. "The story, please."

"So many gentleman admirers," Hi mused. "Must be tough, being a heartbreaker."

"Zip it. Unless you wanna see a leg-breaker too."

Ella adopted a mock serious tone. "Will you bodyguards consent?"

I giggled. "If Shelton and Hi are my bodyguards, I don't like my chances. And yes."

"See this?" Ben glanced at the mirror and pointed to his chin. "This is my 'couldn't care less' face."

"Boys?" I stood and faced them. "Something to share?"

"It was a secret." Hi aimed a kick at Shelton, who dodged easily. "Ben made us swear not to tell."

I crossed my arms. Waited.

"Tell Kit we're cutting a music video," Hi suggested as we walked. "Something real gangster, so we need to smash-cut our dance routines. Lay down some visuals. We could offer to let him freestyle rap over the second verse."

"Come on, Sambo!" Hi winked. "Live a little. What are we going to do, rob the place?"

The guard crossed his arms. "Wink at me again, Hiram, and I'll throw you to the wolfpack."

"Did I not mention that?" My brain was truly deep fried. "We went together."

"Oh." Hi and Shelton at once. Ben looked away.

"Hey, wait." I leaned closer to the screen. "You guys wouldn't have wanted to go. I took Ella so I wouldn't be paraded around like Whitney's toy poodle." No one spoke. Nonplussed, I decided to change the subject.

I glowered at Ben from the backseat. I'd given Hi shotgun, having sensed this argument was inevitable. I didn't want to be close. The urge to slap might become overpowering.

"Why don't we use our friendly words?" Hi suggested. "Let's take five, and everyone can say something we like about each other. I'll start. Shelton you're super at—"

"Shut up, Hi!" Ben and I shouted, the first thing we'd agreed upon all morning.

"Must be hell to keep the pH balance correct. I know how it is. I owned a goldfish once."

"Once?" Shelton asked.

"It died. Almost immediately."

"Nice work."

"It's a cultural thing," Hi was saying. "I think you're being insensitive."

Hines snorted. "Do you want me to cuff you?"

"Kinda."

"A minute alone, Tory. I'd like a quick chat."

Ben shot forward. "You can stick chat right up—"

Hi waved at me from across the yard, waiting for his mother to arrive. Apparently he'd body-blocked the first cops to chase me through the house. The police were none too pleased. I owe you one, Hi. You bought me enough time.

Entering the Virals chat room, I found all three boys present.

Uh oh.

They'd met there ahead of time, before alerting me. To discuss me.

I glanced up to see Shelton holding latex gloves. Hi had the ziplocks. Ben handed me a cotton swab and stopper. "Anything else?"

Despite the circumstances, I smiled.

Ruth popped her son on the back of the head. "Mind your manners, Hiram."

"Why does everyone do that?" Hi muttered. "And that was child abuse. In front of the police, I might add."

He looked away. The harbour breeze ruffled his silky black hair. My hand found his, almost by its own volition.

I couldn't be mad at Ben anymore. It was like being mad at my left arm. And right then, I needed my arm back.

A smile quirked on my father's lips. "And you, Mr. Blue? Ready for a good ol'-fashioned backyard barbecue? My daughter will be there."

Ben's uneasy smile was his only response.

Ben reached up from where he was lying with his eyes closed. Smacked Hi's dome.

Hi rubbed his head. "I'm getting pretty tired of that move."

"Then quit being a dope." Ben's lids remained shut.

"Hey, sure. No problem. I just need to—"

Hi lunged for Ben, intending a flying body slam. Ben caught Hi in midair and tossed him downhill in one quick motion. Hi tumbled, rolled, and dropped over the berm of the sand.

"That was dumb." Hi informed the blue sky.

Ben started talking about Wando High. I countered with news of Bolton. Before long, we'd exchanged stories, catching up on the last five months of each other's lives. I hadn't realized how much I missed Ben. How badly I wanted him back at Bolton.

He was right, of course. I was keeping several secrets from Ben. Like how comfortable it felt to be alone with him. How much I'd missed his reassuring presence. His quiet strength.

Ben removed his shoes, plunged both feet into the lapping salt waters Then he leaned back against a post, sighing contently. The little-boy maneuver brought a smile to my face.

"You're staying out here?" Shelton asked. "Alone?"

"No big deal. I don't want Kit to see what I'm up to."

"I don't like it," Ben said. Behind him, Hi looked uneasy.

"No one knows this place exists." I pointed to the other room. "And there's an 85 pound predator in there that loves me. I'll be fine."

...

"Text me when you get home." Ben requested. "Please don't forget."

I hid a smile. "Will do. Bye, guys."

I sat forward at the table. "Okay, so ... like, don't freak out."

That got their attention.

"About?" Ben took the seat across from me, next to Hiram.

"There was an incident last night." Oh so calm. "I'm perfectly okay, but on the way hone someone attacked me on the beach."

"What?!" Three stunned voices.

"That's why you didn't text," Ben muttered.

Ben shook his head in wonderment. "Incredible. It's nice having a genius around."

"It's only genius if it works." But I flushed at the compliment.

I squeezed Ben's shoulder. "Who's the genius now?"

He snorted, looked away.

"You let her go alone?" Ben scolded, slowly working his way down to where Hi was beached. "That defeats the whole purpose!"

"I'm aware of that, Benjamin." Hi tried slinging a leg onto the riverbank, but it flopped back into the rolling current. "But she'd figured out you sent her away from the mine on purpose. You try telling Tory what to do when she's pissed."

"I'll pass."

"How's the leg, detective? Or did my wolfdog bite you in the ass, instead?"

"Hey, at least it's not your birthday. Worst one ever, by the way."

His fist came up. I dapped it with mine.

"For Tory," Shelton said.

"For Tory." All jokes shelved.

Coop was rolling in the leaves, pinning someone beneath his massive bulk.

Ben dove on the tangle with a voice-cracking whoop.

I was no longer alone. The Virals had found me. Ben was beaming, unable to hide his relief. He turned quickly, wiping his glowing eyes. Shelton darted forward and crushed me with a hug. Coop was dancing and bucking, his tail wagging so hard he had trouble keeping balance. My boys. My heroes.

"Do you confronted the twins alone, without waiting for us?" Ben couldn't keep the anger from his voice. "After making us promise not to do anything like that?"

"We can discuss my impulsiveness another time—"

"Oh, we will." Ben assured me.

I ejected the spent clip from the HK45, slammed the new one into place, then worked the slide to chamber a round. Then I held the weapon loosely at my side, barrel pointed toward the ground.

"I'm terrified of you right now," Hi said wide-eyed. "And in love. Take me shooting with your aunt Tempe next time."

"Take the SUV and go. I'll stay with Ella and handle the fallout."

"Out of your mind." Ben said immediately.

"We could drive away without anybody knowing."

"I'm not leaving Tory to face this alone," Ben insisted. "Get serious!"

I spoke softly. "The cops will eat you alive, Benjamin Blue. You have to go."

Ben tensed, ready to argue.

"Detective Hawfield died. This is going to get serious. It's way too much heat for you. Please be sensible."

Ben hesitated. Then his shoulders slumped.

"Maybe you're right." Deep breath. "But you're taking away the other possibility, too."

"I don't understand." I glanced over my shoulder at the approaching vehicle. "What other possibility?"

He smiled wanly. "Ben Blue, The Hero. That kinda would've been nice."

I paused, at a loss for words. My heart broke for him.

"But that's okay." Ben dug keys from his pocket. "After all, we're Virals, not heroes. And that's fine. Plus, I'm not really the hero type."

He turned to leave.

Impulsively, I grabbed Ben's arm. Pulled him close. Smashed my lips against his. The kiss only lasted a second, but also an eternity. Then I stepped back an shoved Ben towards the Explorer.

"Of course you're the type." I was grateful the darkness hid my blushes. "Now go."

Ben stared, stricken, thunderstruck. Hi and Shelton watched, wide-eyed with shock.

"Weirdest birthday ever," Hi whispered.

"Corcoran will survive," Ben commented sourly. "He always does. We crack the case, he gets to be the hero."

My head whipped to Ben. Was that bitterness?

I saw no trace. Ben was smiling, relaxed for the first time in days. Maybe months.

As my father strode away, Shelton and Hi both unleashed dramatic yawns.

"Welp." Hi stretch his arms over his head. "I'd better go check on various things that aren't right here. You coming, Shelton?"

"Oh you know it." Hiding a smile. "Stuff to do. No time to waste."

I descended two steps.

Stopped.

Shot back up.

Wrapped Ben in a bone-crushing hug.

Startled, it took him a moment before he hugged me back.

"He didn't say anything to me," Hi repeated. "And if Shelton were sick, I'd be the first to hear about it. At length."

"So what's the plan?" Ben asked.

"Go inside. Look around. Improvise."

"Brilliant." Hi stroked his chin. "Quick question: Is having no plan the same as having a terrible plan, or are those different categories?"