#hey its well deserved
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“Kendrick just opened his mouth, somebody go get him a Grammy right now”
I think Drake has to kill himself on Instagram Live at this point
#hey its well deserved#this song is such a banger#kendrick lamar#sydcarmy#grammys#the bear#sydney adamu#the bear fx#carmy berzatto#carmen berzatto
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mentor
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#gojo satoru#megumi fushiguro#jjk art#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jjk leaks#pulled another allnighter fr Angst's sake cries i havent slept.......but i couldnt help myself i was out all DAY i hadnt drawn all DAY#do u know what that does to a mf i felt all antsy and Wrong#so i cracked an energy drink i think i may have a problem honestly but hey at least u get ur daily dose of megumi angst#remember how i said i considered including gojo in the yuuji/tsumiki/megu squared train piece#well this is me making up fr Not including him there#i ws right his and megumi's relationship deserves its own homage smile :)#anyway @ anon who wanted a gojo/megumi hug.....ik it's not exactly a hug but you can forgive me im sure <3#dare i say it's better than hugs jeremy.....#honestly fr all my gripes w gojo i Did get kind of emo abt this?? but i feel like. the majority of my emotions r on megumi's behalf#also might have been the mukashi mukashi no kyou no boku on repeat that'll also do it#seriously debated putting translated lyrics as the caption but it feels like a copout doing 2 lyric-captions in a row#also i do have some shame. miku lyrics r a bit.#anyway art notes uhhhhh finally got gojo's hair to not look Yuuji#who knew the trick was to make it longer smh maybe sleep deprivation n 10 hours of staring at a screen Does make simple problems hard#oh file name 'proud of you' btw
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GS Umbra posting
DE hasn't given us much to go off of on how Umbra's been doing post the Sacrifice, so until they tell me otherwise, I get to make the decisions. Some thoughts below :>
Now that his mind is back, I like to think that the well venerated dax and the loving father are bleeding back through the some-odd thousands of years of madness. Idr if how long the new war era took was mentioned, but between then and 1999, no doubt he's had much time to process and heal, with or without the operator's presence.
The way I write him, he was the operator's go-to for missions, whenever he was up for it, and undoubtedly he would have been there when Ballas again took from him a child he loved, while orokin transference left him helpless to do anything about it. It must have set him back horribly, but at least he was able to process it this time.
In future Guardian Spiral chapters, I do hope to be able to get into the sort of mixed feelings he'd have about the parts of him that were willing to get attached to the drifter in the same ways, just because the drifter desperately needed it. Oh, the harrowing ordeal of loving, but having lost so much because of having loved. Hundreds, maybe thousands of years of grief will leave a mark, even if the one who's fault it was is long dead. The mind may know, but the heart doesn't forget the pain.
#warframe#guardian spiral#warframe 1999#the hex#warframe fanart#excalibur umbra#My sweet baby boy#i love him so dearly#Umbra deserves a bit of a dad bod as a treat also#also yes#i dont think he can drink the tea or even smell it#but hey#it probably reminds him of better times and the operator doesnt mind cold tea in the least#and loid offers because well#its gonna get drunken by somebody but at the same time#Thats gotta be so comedically awkward lolol
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I don't know what this is all I know is that LimL Joel makes me really emotional
#I know he has a tendency to go deranged on his red lives but idk something about him beginning to lose it after Jimmy died and killing Grian#joel smallishbeans#smallishbeans fanart#trafficblr#Again its his red life shenanigans but... If only Jimmy had known how affected someone was by his death. I'm choosing to believe this#and him then going out like a sad pathetic wet cat even with Grian's sacrifice... He really deserves a win one of these days lmao please#Also I cant stop thinking about how Jimmy wouldn't have left him. Grian was sensible to and most players probs would have#Joel really does become a lost cause so its fair and Grian did still care (and went to say goodbye as well as sacrifice his time for him)#But Jimmy would have stuck by even if Joel were in this state (and they'd both get themselves killed pathetically but)#And Joel having shown such genuine care for Jimmy and concern over his limited time... man anything w Jimmy makes me so emotional lol#I love them so#oh Ig about the art itself. I dont like it but hey thats how it tends to go when you try smth new. And no shame in trying#but if one person likes this then yayy I will still feel accomplished and happy#Im looking at this again and hey its not that bad actually yay I love to approve of my own art. self love hell yea#tubby art
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honestly the more i hear about engstars and its TLs the more i absolutely dread the inevitable release of poltergeist and what may ensue from it, bc if if the translators themselves are already invalidating arashis identity then i Really Truly do not want to see how theyll translate natsume and tsumugis microaggressions/transphobia towards her. esp since ive noticed a rise in people being comfortably transphobic towards her, and i REALLY do not wish to see natsume and tsumugi being stupid fucking morons be used as evidence to discredit her
and i think this is all the more reason why its VERY IMPORTANT for engstars to DIRECTLY ACKNOWLEDGE arashi and her gender. bc sometimes characters are STUPID and RUDE and APATHETIC. enstars is a story with NUANCED and FLAWED CHARACTERS, and when a character is being a fucking asshole youre meant to PROVE THEM WRONG. but they dont even acknowledge arashi as a girl themselves. so, if you do use engstars, please keep pressuring them bc omfg this is so bad and i can only see it getting worse
#a bit of a serious post sorreys its kinda me venting im just preparing for the worst#We should be legally allowed to beat the shit out of ntmg for what they said to arashi#i dont remember the exact quotes verbatim but tsumugi basically just expressed confusion abt her gender identity#n natsume flatout said something like shes lying to kids by calling herself a princess#so.#not good.#having characters show bigotry is not Necessarily a bad thing. but that is ONLY WHEN that bigotry gets disproven#but. engstars arent doing that.#theyre not disproving it.#they keep pretending like her gender is. well. Nothing#so i worry that this story is just gonna fuel the flames and make everything so much worse than it already is#anyway. if u play engstars please do keep pestering them for blatantly ignoring and misrepresenting arashis identity#i try to stay out of whatever goes on on that app but. Man.#she deserves better#But hey knowing them maybe theyll just fuckin cut out the dialogue alltogether to further act like trans people and their issues arent real#nat rambles#im a bit peeved as u can see sorry i just know how this fandom is and how they cant handle nuance or flawed characters#and im REALLY not happy with happyele REWRITING THE TEXT#and getting RID OF SAID NUANCE#GRHAGGRAHGRAGHHGHGH#sorry.#its like 3:30am i just needed to get this off my chest#maybe ill delete this but god.#free my girl
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JOOOOOEELLLLLLLLLL SMALLISHBEANS LET'S FUCKINF GOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️
#it would've been cool if its gem vs joel but hey another life™#it would've been HILARIOUS if grian won thank god he didn't tho#oh my god well deserved win fr#smallishbeans#wild life spoilers#wild life#trafficblr#life series#joel smallishbeans
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You know who you remind me of? Helga Pataki.
Please tell me you (or somebody else) gets the reference 😂
anon u turned my world to static with that namedrop
on the list of things i did NOT expect to happen ,because hUH??: someone dragging [hey arnold] into my tiny nuca inbox
#feesh answer#yes. yes i get the reference. . .#BRUH YOU JUST SHUT MY BRAIN DOWN FOR A SOLID MINUTE. I HAD TO SYSTEM REBOOT.#DON'T YOU CASUALLY UNLOCK A DEEPSEATED MEMORY LIKE THAT. put my waves out of wack. WOO!!! WILD!!!!#tho helga to be fair was what the millenialish kids would cal..l. a 'bad bitch'?#she put up with a lot#and despite all the suckage around her.. she still manages to be her clever ambitious passionate self#go helga go!!!! get what you want girl!!! i hope life treats you better!! you deserve several breaks!#when i first watched hey arnold#i didn't really care about it. it was decent background noise after school or whatevs.#helga was weird and creepy at best#when i got older... i somehow stumbled back into the show#and became obsessed with it. watched everything all over again. watched the movie i never saw#NOW....WITH THE WISDOM OF AGE..... i understood. i was UNDERSTANDING. really appreciated the show more#and its characters of course.... finally understood how messed up the pataki family was fo realsies#anyway. after that initial BLASTED BURST of unlocked memory vault . with the nostalgia. and the facts of me watching it twice#i return to reality: this ask. which is currently comparing me to helga#and i laugh maniacally because i don't know how else to react#my second urge was to punt anon out the window so they can land in a conveniently placed bouncy castle and atone for their crime#their crime of. making me embarrass myself with .myself#but i DON'T punt anon because. well. *gestures to the ask*#falls back dramatically into my armchair#what am i supposed to do........ i can't really escape the allegations can i...#sighs dejectedly . surrounded by my own posts
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I'LL GIVE YOU A REAL REASON TO CRY
#my art lol#tw blood#tw gore#tw scars#tw self harm#tw sh implied#utau#utauloid#utau fanart#utauloid fanart#maidloid#acme iku#iku acme#happy late bday iku...? kind of demented as a bday gift lol but hey she can join piko in the 'accidental bday gore' club 💀💀#maybe in that case its better i didnt draw anything for the kagamines considering i actually have like. fucked up lore for them#as much as i love torturing my faves i think she deserves happiness... well she's not getting it here but FOR THE MOST PART#i dont angst her as hard as other peeps? though i did realize i fucked uppppppp and ACCIDENTALLY GAVE EVERYONE DEPRESSION LMAO FUCK#thats the one consistent vsynth trait at least in whatever the fuck you can call my interpretations. literally everyone has depression. fuc#anyways that silly red onion iku design i did makes a comeback - made a few minor changes for this and i've been meaning to do something#exploring this sorta concept for a while. cause yknow get it cutting onions makes you cry??#ok but in all honesty this is very much vent.
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MIKE BLOCKED ME ON TWITTER FOR ROASTING HIS DUMBASS RESPONSE TO THE GRAPHIC NOVEL STUFF!!
grown ass man scared of the 19-year-old queer being mean to him over his public meltdown more at 8.
#ramblez#little white boy sad? U sad bc nobody likes you? Bc u constantly make a fool of urself and show off ur distaste for ur fans? lmao#this is one of the greatest things to ever happen to me imagine how mad he'll be when he finds out the fangame Im making has queers in it#hes gonna have a whole other white boy meltdown on main KJSNFDGKJHFGKJHGKJHSDFGSD#hes so fucking sensitive maybe just get off of social media Mike this never ends well for you#batim#batdr#bendy and the ink machine#bendy and the dark revival#and look Im joking around about this but it really is sad that the bendy devs cant handle this kind of critique towards their decisions#it seems despite the backlash once again they are choosing to ignore their fans which is yknow upsetting#But hey ig if the devs being awful was a dealbreaker for this fandom I wouldve left a long time ago and I havent#dw Im not going anywhere <3#also if anyone else here was also criticizing Mike maybe check his acct to make sure ur not blocked now since apparently#old habits die hard and this is certainly a pattern with him KJHDSFKGJHSDKFGJHDFGSD#also look before anyone asks yes I was kinda mean to him over this but to put bluntly if hes gonna be this dismissive to his fans concerns#he deserves it. Theres this persistent attitude esp in bendy fanspaces of being defensive of the devs#and I dont know why they have been extremely horrible people every single chance they get#and its very hurtful to see how many people would rather tell me to be kinder to the people who broke the heart of a child me when they#dismissed any ideas of putting queers like me in their stories than to realize Mike n Meatly bring this bad attention to themselves#to put bluntly I dont owe them kindness not until they at least apologize for the shit they did which they still havent#mike hasnt even addressed his vent poem in the code of BATDR let alone the other shit he said n did#so no I will not be kind to him ever hope this helps!
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🥡Sun Bleached™️
Act 1: Schism—Beginning--- Previous---Next
#tw:drug mention#simblr#sims 4#ts4#sims 4 story#ts4 story#story:sunbleached#donovan randez#nicolas ishida#i'm happy to continue this honestly. its been a while#will add more thoughts to this its 1am for me rn i might just post now#dons exhausted from a long passion night of watching old horror movies with nick and talking#it’s like 1 in the afternoon they slept in well don did nick didn’t really sleep he was just trying to fall asleep and then the train woke#him up a reminder of hey we got work to do#the context of this text is that Jamie went on a date with her boyfriend and he orders some weirdly tall fastfoood meal and they shared it#think of them bloodmaries with a whole damn chicken on a stick in the glass like some extra shit#oh my god I forgot to mention those two are gonna go jump someone over a bike them babies violent#that kid deserves it though be a menace
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we do NOT need to get into how the modern sections of Origins are fucking nonsense from top to bottom okay we don't have time i'm just saying. they would be slightly improved by making the little change that bayek is not just some guy layla's gone and dug up, but actually someone she has a connection to, that she's descended from. her raging at abstergo after they kill her friend and try to kill her that she's going to finish her mission (that she was doing to impress abstergo) anyway is terrible writing! but it would make a little more sense if that moment was meant to directly reflect how bayek's own anger gets the better of him over the course of the game! give me something!!!!
#sorry im actually quite mad about origins im discovering. its so bad. it had the potential to be so good and instead its just bad#hey did you guys know there's a mission in origins where bayek fights alongside one of his oldest friends in an arena for a whole#sidequest and then AFTER that you discover that she's actually the bodyguard of your target.#hey did you guys know this DOESNT FUCKING MATTER. YOU CANNOT SPARE HER BAYEK DOESN'T EVEN COMMENT ON IT BESIDES GOIN :/ well. sad. moving o#it makes me so fucking mad. bayek you deserve a better game. bayek you deserve better writing.#layla i dont care about you but for the sake of this post's argument so do you
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are we really back to "oh you support (blank)? name ten people who (do/are) that right now or else youre lying for allyship points and everything you have to say should be disregarded". i thought we left that back in like. 2012 misogynist nerdbro culture
#i have seen it on two entirely separate topics lately and its like. hello?????#'if you cant name 10 trans authors off the top of your head you shouldnt be talking about trans issues full stop.#i dont think thats an unreasonable expectation for anyone wanting to engage in rational discourse' how about we all go outside#because like yeah i couldnt name you too many trans authors but given my transgenderismness i think i do in#fact still deserve a seat at the table. and i dont think there should be a prerequisite academic education level to be allowed to talk.#'but you could find them for free-' yes‚ you can‚ but people should still be allowed to a) choose what they read based#off of what interests them and not mildly-to-extremely dense nonfiction writing and still Talk About Their Own Lives And Have#Opinions#shockingly not reading a lot of one specific type of author doesnt prevent a person from having reasonable and valuable opinions#if youre not capable of parsing someones argument because theyre not well-read enough then that just imo means you dont actually understand#the things youve read to be able to give them a synopsis#this isnt school. we're not being graded. there is no required reading and you are perfectly capable of giving people an#explanation on your stances if theyre unfamiliar with them#i had a b) but i dont remember what it was‚ i think it probably was part of what i covered there that i thought was a separate thought#but yeah just like. idk you can just say 'hey i would really recommend reading xyz but to summarize‚ (thing that disproves them)'#it is not . difficult to either Explain yourself or‚ if that is not possible‚ Not be condescending to the person youre not willing to teach#for not knowing#ill stop there bc ive already done that ramble before but. yes#origibberish#edit: ok upon reread i got turned around and switched from addressing the less educated one conveying their arguments#to the more well read one#bc that was the b is i was gonna talk about both#yall get what i mean though just like. split it in half and flip it turnways
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food . water . vbros women being written well .
#beating my fist against the ground . MYRA <- my no.1 always my 2 episode queen#SALLY . idr how many episodes you appear in but smth barely more than 2 .#they should have been cunting it up s6 and 7 i see it in my head .#the vb that exists in my head and i draw art for .#genuinely like all the women . they have so much potential and its so sucks that theyre written so badly .#USUALLY FOR GUYS IDGAF ABT#everything w dr mrs and her issues w being guild council and her marriage issues being pushed asside s7 for .#the osi agent (who is a woman i'll give them that) and the fucking peril partnership guy . killing myself . WHY WAS THAT SUCH A BIG PLOTLIN#warriana just fucking off after s6 . hey remember when s6 was being written and people thought since the other members were working for#widewhale that she would be betraying brock like his biblical namesake and it was so cool and then it went no where she just fucked up and#was never seen again#idec for her that much but her potential . she would have been awesome#in my head myra takes hatred's place as the venture bodyguard s4 onward get that cretin out of here#then sally should have been beefing w everyone . she deserved it everyone treated her like SHIT#focus being on her shittier husband and then her somewhat shitty bf instead of her . DIEEEEE#sirena also is just . pushed aside for the twins is like . its so evil what they do to her babygirl i know youre better written than this#I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS ON THE VB WOMEN . THEY GENUINELY ARE AWESOME [in my head] [if they were written well]#e.txt#SORRY I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY ABT THE WOMEN . EVEN NIKKI AND I HATE THAT EPISODE SO MUCH
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Man... I can't stop thinking about the things that were talked about on the stream, especially the answer on my question - so... get ready for a ramble! its a long one. oops. i dont even know where im going with this, im just dumping my thoughts somewhere. half is about ttcc lore in general and the streams, the other half is about cathal and me projecting onto him deeper.
before i even hop deeper into this, it wasn't until early today that i learned that there was a whole drama about cranky's answers (regarding the graham and flint question and the whole "keep it sane" thing. i thought it was...off, but i understood it as 'do what you want people, just don't start any harassment because of ships and your favorite pairs'.
definitely could have been phrased better, though. at least we got a good response and an apology later from maven on twitter. but i legit did not know this was a drama until those twitter posts were made LOL. i dont interact with the fandom so i do not know how that answer was percieved by most. or if anyone except for me and my friends have had any thoughts about the question i asked that got answered.)
and what im tryna get to is that i get cranky isnt the one to be answering lore things, and probably didnt know what to answer... but it's still something to think about
because being told "cogs and toons just dont become how they are out of the blue" (paraphrasing here) as an answer to what cathal initially thought of seeing his dad be bet up and thrown off a tower is... confusing? he did say first and foremost that it has to be built upon before saying that. i understand that this is... a lot of characters! and cathal did have some focus on him thanks to the comic and they wanted to focus on other managers... but some have deeper, more intricate lore that's easy to grasp (especially the more, well, angstier managers like chip and misty.)
and we have gotten some extra lore for other managers like belle, mary, tawny.... thanks to thomas' rambles.
and it's definitely difficult for a team of volounteers working hard on a fan game together to make lore for all the characters, that are still very young in their *life span*, having been around for less than a year. despite ttcc being more character driven and focused on the cogs, it's still a game they have to run so they cannot focus on lore only and some game management has to be done first. there's a bunch of things they have to consider, like consistency and how fans may react, or possible themes or what they want the story to be...
and. yeah. its hard since. come on lets admit it. clash has an issue with how these are all given to us. hell, there's lore bits i still dont know about and im still learning because it's..so all over the place. a new player will not know about it. maven acknowledged this in the tweet and i really appreciate that, as it's honestly been my number one issue with clash, especially as someone who is there for the lore. (i mean, and the gameplay, i know some people who don't play the game itself much. well i sure do a little TOO MUCH because i have PROBLEMS. but im interested in the lore, too, yknow?)
some lore you cant learn from the wiki, and unless you interact with the community, you may never learn *where* all of this even is. if you werent live for certain lore there, it's hardly accessible to you. lore locked behind one time events, an arg website, wikis, discord chats... all that. it's hard to keep track of! i'm sure it's like that for both the fans and the writers. these characters are great, fun, and i love them, but the way we are given this information is... not the best. it's very easy to miss certain details.
it's especially bad if you're like me - only ever interacting with a close group of people you trust, (because people are scary especially a lot of... lore driven fans. yeahnoimeanshippers.sorry.and just big crowds of people in general) having only gotten back into the game recently AFTER most of the major lore events (first played once in 2019, then never again until january 2023) and also you dislike youtube and video content, so you dont watch it. something in your brain would rather if you step on a nail than watch a playthrough video (especially with commentary).
like in general it shouldnt be necessary to go through all these hoops just to know the lore! especially for things that may have little lore...
anyways, uh, back to cathal. i cannot stop thinking about this.
it definitely wasnt an answer to what i specifically asked - but possibly more so about... why cathal is the way he is? and despite what my brain and low self esteem during hard times may tell me - i do not believe that anybody is truly "lazy". i just dont think that exists. there's always some reason behind a person being unmotivated or lazy. even the little things!
but like... that's just kinda obvious. all toons and cogs have motivations. thats like... one of the basics of writing characters. have motivations for characters and reasons for why they are how they are. doesnt have to be anything tragic, just.... how they are as people.
it's totally unrelated to the question of what cathal thought about seeing his dad like that... but oh well! i asked that because i made up my own story around that already, and i just wanted to see what someone working on the game thinks about the same idea.
not to be Tumblr User CathalBravecog, but, of course I have projected heavily onto cathal. i have already stated how important cathal is to me as a character, especially with appreciating myself when im.. not exactly the most motivated. when im not doing much. taught me to appreciate breaks. hell! i keep preaching this myself. its okay to take breaks! and yet i often end up not doing it and i overwork myself on games and art and other things.
there's... a lot of things "wrong" with me that i don't have names for yet, especially due to not having a diagnosis for them, but they're very real feelings and they cause me to be unable to do things a lot of the time. various mental blocks and a new member of the gang... physical pai! hooray.
this... endless productivity we are forced and expected to do. it can take a toll on you. breaks are just as necessary and to say it's a thing that has to be re-learned is... sickening. hooray for living in a Corporate (clash) society, fellas.
one thing i can say is that i absolutely headcanon that cathal has adhd - though, maybe not the same type i do. i do not think he gets randomly hyper and wants to (and does) jump around everywhere and blurt things out randomly and impulsively. cathal here has the low energy, yknow.
i like that a lot of the content around him doesnt even describe him with the words "lazy" and "sleepy" instead.
every day is the same... even if his job is relatively simple, just watching over the camera feed - it's definitely boring... and having to do it every day is not rewarding. and being mostly alone and without consequence, he gives into wanting to do something else. he's got these huge screens and a room to himself, and he loves watching shows and cartoons... so he's gonna do that. it's more fun. it's stimulating. and especially with his dad being the one to give him his position, he knows that he's got nothing to really worry about there.
i also think it's a bit hard to be motivated knowing that... this war between the cogs and toons is just. endless. hell, again, he has to see his dad *everyday* be attacked by them. his body damaged after the fall - only to be fixed again. rinse and repeat. i would too, find it pointless. especially if you're like cathal, since i pointed out before that he is very kind and caring towards the other cogs. he's also thoughtful, noting that yknow... a lot of stairs to get to his room.
why do all that when you can chill... and feel good. do something that feels nice...
i don't have any names for this, but with how sleepy he usually is, that's definitely a thing to consider too. and just, from experience... being tired and/or sleepy it... dismotivates you even more. its so hard to start tasks even if you *want* to do them. and considering cathal mooost likely doesn't want to do his work on his own - then these tasks can be just. impossible to start.
like, i have struggled with this my entire life myself, just because of my adhd screwing with everything, but after getting covid and most definitely getting a form of chronic exhaustion from it.. things have been even harder. i pull myself through day and i barely have the energy to even start anything. sometimes i dont even do anything all day and... woops! still no mood or energy to do anything. i just work on random bursts of motivation and things that captivate me...
not sure how it relates to cathal, but, hey, if im personal here ill ramble about it too because WOW it has been biting me in the ass and i need to speak to Professionals About It
like... i dont think hes being "lazy" willingly, yknow? theres a reason behind it. it definitely is just... being sleepy, the comfort... the fun and stimulation doing something fun he's interested in (his shows) are just... stronger desires and way easier for him to get to. why struggle through something when it takes up all your energy, and then you feel no reward for it? yeah. exactly. even just "not feeling like it" is a reson. "not having energy" is a reason. hey, are these things to get better about if needed? certainly. i wish i could get help with this, it would help me in my life so so much. but should it be seen as ENTIRELY negative and as being a "hinder to society". hell nah. and i think thats swag. cathal is swag he can do this, good for him lmaooo. my brain is deteriorating i apologize.
there was... another thing i wanted to say, but i forgot. so i'll move on.
but just... yeah. i dont think cathal is just lazy. i dont believe in "laziness". he's got reasons for why he prefers naps and just... watching tv instead of doing his work. perhaps he does want to do these things, but gave up on trying. its not worth the effort, it does not feel good. its not stimulating enough to keep him going.
#long#ramble#cathalposting#i...may delete this later i dont know. i both wanna talk to ppl i know about this#but also Do Not Percieve me. I am Afraid Of What People Think#Stay Back Foul Beasts !#alsoy eah i had other stuff to talk about...more on the negative side i guess but??? its. a bit difficult to#give and .. angstier things? negative thoughts? to a character who you see a lot of comfort in. they make you happy#they help you feel better about yourself. you want to see them happy. if theyre happy#youre happy. if theyre sad...well. you are sad. sadness is natural. its a real thing. it happens sometimes. its a part of life#and i have attached some of these things to cathal already. but a few things are hard for me to consider because of The Brain Worms.#i dont want to see him hurt either yknow.#anyways i hope you enjoyer my mental illness ramble. im not normal and you shouldve known that when you followed me#thank you for existing cathal ray toby braveswag#hey fun fact remember how i said i get tired of stuff myself easily well this whole thing made me tired. i was gonna#answer an ask but now im like. man. (melts into a puddle)#(doesnt take a break bc i need instant stimulation and makes things worse for myself)#do yall see why i like cathal so much now gamers?#ya. sorry this got personal. if any of you can handle reading this u deserve a reward.#and maybe i need to start talking about personal things this much. but whatever#this is my blog i can talk about anything and thats the COOL THING!#MWAHAHAHHAHAHA!#dies#ivegot a lot going on in my brain rn cant u tell
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Will you guys forgiv me if i self rb my own art ? Maybe even queue it for a bit ?
#im . really happy abt th recent one#its embarrasing to self rb . makes me feel arrogant but i fought the sun itself to draw that i think i deserve it#well is embarrasing to me if i do it but if anyone else does it i get happy ^_^ like hey i missed that !#yuumi talks
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… there are 2 testament centric chapters id love to scan even just for my own enjoyment but the thought of taking these books apart makes me sad. Maybe if i just. Squish it down hard enough itll look okay. I just want to have new testament images
#as far as i can tell theyre both really sweet ;-;#1 is genuinely just. testament epic depression. dizzy is trying to get them to take better care of themself (they arent eating?)#+ stop isolating themself but they dont think they deserve it. saying its punishment for their sins#and well eventually johnny is like actually i think making dizzy sad is a worse sin than killing people#and testament is like. oh god oh fuck. youre right.#so they say theyll come and visit more :)#the other is more lighthearted KIND OF#testament keeps popping up in weird placs on the ship to watch over dizzy#and johnny is like. hey you can leave she doesnt need you anymore its okay#and they fuck off. and johnny is like hm maybe i shouldnt have said that i feel kinda bad. i cant stop thinking about them#and then no exaggeration hes like oh jeez its been a while since testament showed up. what if they killed themself. DONT SAY THAT?#but its okay cuz then testament shows up and they have a puppy dog. theyve taken up rescuing animals (i think) . theyre happy about it#and the last panel is them surrounded by animals. i think they filled the ship with animals.#acknowledgement that they like animals… kliff says that about them in missing link. its not in the english version tho.#or maybe he says they like nature? i dont remember exactly. but close enough animals are in nature. its okay#I DIDNT MEAN TO TYPE THAT MUCH SORRY. to the small percentage of my followers who care about testament enough to read this. hope u enjoyed#MORE STUFF HAPPENS in these chapters im summarizing. poorly. also my understanding is based on google translate lol but i get the gist#the kat goes meow
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