#hetalia iceland x reader

[yawujin]

texting with the nordics

type | light hearted , fluff , platonic , short read

denmark/matthias køhler ♡

random and hyper 3am texts

is the type to screenshot funny messages from a groupchat and post them to social media

definitely sends people brainrot humor ig reels ironically

also sends super up close pics of himself out of nowhere to strike up a conversation

his most used emojis are: 😁 😳 😜 👀 🤸‍♂️

norway/lukas bondevik ♡

he double texts but like not

as in he'll type two different things but space them out using the enter button

so it ends up being one text

it's on purpose too (he's weird i love him)

likes to send pictures of his meals

alot of one word replies ("mhm" , "sure" , "k")

the type to like a message to signify the end of a convo

sweden/björn oxenstierna ♡

sends gifs to react to messages

doesn't use any other abbreviations unless it's like, 'LOL'

most used emoji: 👍

doesn't use his phone that much

only really texts anybody if it's a holiday

iceland/emil steilsson ♡

his phone is almost always on 'do not disturb'

unlike sve, he mostly uses abbreviations

types in all lowercase letters (autocorrect is his worst enemy so he had to turn it off)

if someone asks what he's doing, he'll send a picture of his surroundings accompanied by a simple "just here" text.

will be constantly checking his phone and reply immediately if a person he really likes is chatting with him

finland/timo väinämöinen ♡

when he's comfortable enough with the person he's talking to, he'll start to send voice messages

gives random updates about his day via text

prefers calls tbh

sends a bunch of pics of hanatamago

the type to text someone "good luck!" , "have a good time ❤️" , "hope it goes well!!" and other words of encouragement when they have to do something/go somewhere

˚✧ ₊˚ allies headcanons | more nordics headcanons

[wander-lustrous]

nordics as bfs.

denmark // mathias køhler.

- He seems outgoing and confident in himself, even a bit airheaded, but the front crumbles a bit with his partner. His partner knows it all—his insecurities about being a leader, his worry about his brothers growing apart, etc. They’re the only person to see him at his worst.

- He’s quite good at reading social situations, so if you’re more introverted or shy (cough like Lukas cough), he’s good at navigating that. Or at least playing stupid enough to ease you out of your shell.

- He would definitely get one of those custom made bootleg T-shirts of you—featuring both some of your most fire selfies and other just plain unflattering cropped photos of you. And he’d wear that shirt unironically all the time.💀

- He does not use punctuation when texting. Or grammar. It’s even worse when he switches to drunkenly texting you in Danish. Or sending voice memos where your already very tenuous grasp on his language is tested when he’s slurring every vowel.

- He’s fairly serious as a partner. He doesn’t settle down easily but when he does, he’s in it for the long haul.

- He’s actually kind of anti-traditional romance. Part of him thinks it’s all unnecessary, really. He greets you with fist bumps and a quick one-arm hug instead of kisses. He’s not big on PDA. He doesn’t think Valentine’s Day should be such a big deal. In his view, you’re his best friend and the person who he’s given his heart to, and he should be reminding you of that every day, not just on silly, frivolous holidays.

norway // lukas bondevik.

- Once he gets comfortable with you, he is so snarky. He’s witty but in the driest way. He likes to show his affection for you through light bullying teasing.

- He is definitely someone who wants his own space. He values independence in a relationship. That being said, if he has to choose between being coddled or doing the coddling… he’d choose the latter. He doesn’t like being treated as if he’s incapable of making his own meals, or washing his own clothes.

- Don’t speak to him in the mornings until he’s had his morning coffee. Don’t even try. The most convo you’ll get out of uncaffeinated him is a few grunts, one-word answers, and dead stares.

- He’s kind of… not the best at conflict resolution. Like truly awful at it. If he thinks he’s not in the wrong, even if you’re still upset about it, he’ll carry on like nothing happened. You’ll be seething in your room and he texts you something utterly normal like, “I’m at the store. Are we out of butter?” and you’re like “??? Hello?? I’m still pissed with you.” It’s his way of trying to break the ice.

- As a texter, he’s pretty dry. He tends to use perfect grammar and punctuation. He’s not a fan of emojis until he notices you using one or two often, and then he’s using them to tease you by inserting them in the most random contexts. He will though text you things sometimes like “This reminded me of you. 🔥” And it’s a picture of an actual troll. 💀💀

- He flirts through book discussions, heated glances that cool before you can take notice, stray physical brushes that seem accidental. When he likes someone, he wants to pick apart their brain, know what makes them tick. He finds passion very attractive, and likes to find ways to rile you up.

sweden // berwald oxenstierna.

- The silent but strong type. He doesn’t mind if you’re chattier—he hopes you are, honestly. He gets nervous thinking about having to carry the convo. He also worries that you’ll find him boring once you realize how quiet he is.

- He remembers everything about you. If you offhandedly mention wanting a certain item, it’s there at your next birthday/holiday. You have to be careful what you mention around him. Somehow you’ll end up with three desks from IKEA, all perfectly assembled, already in your apartment, and ready to be used.

- He does give nice bear hugs. Dad hugs, even. Berwald is secretly touch-starved, so when you initiate a hug, he sets his mind on not letting go first. Which means that sometimes your hugs are awkwardly long, and you’ll have to learn to tell him when you want him to let go. He enjoys it though—he enjoys every minute he gets to spend with you.

- He has you as his screensaver on his phone. That way, whenever some asks, he can offhandedly mention that you’re his wife/husband, and leave them dumbstruck as he heads to the store to buy your favorite pastries.

- He is literally the best person to go camping with. He’s capable and strong. He sets up the tents without being told to, he sets up the fire to cook you dinner, and lets you huddle against him for warmth, his big arm holding you to him as you’re lulled to sleep. You just know this man would fight a bear for you. 🫶🏽

- He has this awful habit of not placing much importance on labels and what’s considered an appropriate label. When he first meets your family/friends, he introduces himself as your husband, and that leads to a flurry of questions and slack jaws. You’ll have to hurriedly explain that (1) no, you’re not married to someone you’ve only been dating for a week and (2) he doesn’t mean it like that!! Berwald in his defense will just shrug and say “Why does it matter if I’m going to marry you some day anyways?” This man wouldn’t know casual if it hit him over the head.

finland // tino väinämöinen.

- You know he gets messy af when he’s drunk. It’s kind of cute, really. He says and does things he’d otherwise be too embarrassed to. Like introducing you to every person at the bar with a loud, “This is the loooove of my life!”

- He’s used to being the mother hen of his group, so when he’s alone with you, he likes to whine and be taken cared of for once. Of course, he feels bad for complaining because he tries his best to stay positive, but you reassure them that it’s okay to be frustrated or upset sometimes, and it’s not good to bottle it in!

- He loves simple domesticity. Cooking together, wearing ugly sweaters together, raising plants together, smearing whipped cream on each other’s noses and giggling about it. Put this man in a Hallmark movie already.

- He gets a bit self-conscious at times about his body. You think it’s perfect for hugs and for cuddling.

- After a fight, Tino thinks it’s wise to hit the sauna. There’s something very open and vulnerable about sitting bare before each other in an enclosed, humid space. Sweating out the tensions from the day before, the heat relaxing your muscles. He finds it very cathartic, and you take a liking to it too.

- This man loves gossip. Tino is a fairly sociable person, and gets along with almost everyone, but he can’t help but perk an ear up when he hears you complaining about someone at work. He keeps up with all your work drama and asks about certain key figures in your stories so that when he inevitably gets dragged to one of your work events, he can smile and pretend he doesn’t know a thing about their lives (even though he knows all the juicy details).

- He definitely keeps a scrapbook of the two of you. He decides to compile one once he knows the relationship is fairly serious, maybe 6 months in. He likes to update it during any milestone or anniversary, and especially likes looking back on it for fond memories. He definitely keeps a few cute candids of you that you have no idea exist.

iceland // emil steilsson.

- He vague posts about you on his private stories or blog, if he has one. A song he listened to with you, a flower he saw that you thought was pretty, a rock that you picked up during your last hangout, etc. He struggles to make the first move, so he hopes you’ll take the hint (the hint is not at all obvious so of course you don’t!) It's even more impossible when he realizes he never added you to his close friends list, or you're not even following his blog.

- His palms get sweaty easily so he gets nervous about hand-holding. What if you find him gross? What if his hand gets so sweaty that your hand slips right through his grip? How embarrassing would that be?! He overthinks things.

- He’s in his head a lot and tends to snap if people prod too much, so he appreciates your gentle coaxing into his mind. You don’t pressure him to open up, and he’s grateful for that. It makes him more likely to trust you with his private feelings.

- The king of not responding to your texts with actual words but instead by sending memes. He can’t help that every funny meme he sees he wants to share with you. He will usually do his best to contribute to the convo after he’s sent you three memes in a row, but that usually ends up being a one-word “lol” or “damn.” He’s so Gen-Z coded.

- You know those ugly sweaters he likes wearing? He knits them himself. Once you start dating, he knits you a sweater and gifts it to you for a holiday. You have no idea it’s handmade until you stop by his place and see all the yarn and needles scattered across his table. Very cute.

- He likes to pretend to be asleep to see what you’ll do. Especially when the two of you wake up in the mornings. Part of him just wants to savor in the lazy morning kisses you pepper across his face. Part of him also just thinks if he lets on he’s awake, he’ll be stuttering and blushing at how cute you are and fretting over the attention. He thinks it’s much easier to enjoy these sappier moments with you when his eyes are closed and when you don’t have to worry about making him nervous.

[milaisreading]

Scenario where Denmark introduces (C/n) to other nations after forcing her out of isolation

Finland: So, you two are close now?

Sweden: Like friends or something?

Norway: Hmm?

Denmark: Of course! We are best friends now! Right, (C/n)?! *asks while patting her on the back*

C/n:....

*1 minute later*

C/n: Right. We are.

Denmark: WHAT THE HELL TOOK YOU SO LONG?!

Iceland: So... she is held here against her will?

Denmark: No, she is not!!

[generational-atrophy]

helloooo can i humbly request the s/o liking their accent + voice but with romano and iceland? :) loved your other post with it!! good luck with exams by the way

hetalia romano and iceland with a s/o who loves their voice

0.3k words ~ gender neutral headcanons

tw: none!

a/n: this is a short one BCS I didn't have that much to say and I'm about t o pass out hi I love u guys

Romano

It's a good thing you're a sucker for Italian accents because Romano loves when girls swoon over his voice (Whenever a pretty tourist is around, he sounds like it's his first time speaking his English.) So, if he has the same effect on you, he abuses that privilege greatly.

“Qualcuno ti ha mai detto che hai un sorriso meraviglioso?”

“What?”

“Nothing, Bella~”

Anything he says to you is followed immediately by some random off-handed phrase in Italian, just because he knows how hot you find his voice. That habit keeps your attention, as well as his patience with the English language.

Plus, he's Italian, so he loves the sound of his own voice. Give him a good enough topic and he can rant for hours without you saying even a single word to encourage him.

He prefers S/Os that are a lot quieter than he is, so it's not uncommon for him to have a whole conversation with himself while you just listen. And when he knows he has an audience, even if it's you, his voice becomes painfully smooth and attractive. So, win-win, right?

Iceland

Wait, really? He... never expected anyone to tell him that. It seems like only yesterday that he sounded completely different, and he hasn't gotten used to having a more mature voice yet. That's partly why he's so quiet, he still finds his voice awkward and childish.

But really, his voice is perfectly soft. He's accidentally sent you to sleep more than once, but he assumed that was actually just an indication that he bored you.

“If me speaking bothers you that much... I will be quiet.”

“It doesn't bother me!”

“... I will be quiet anyway.”

He doesn't like talking. It's hard to get a more than 3-word text out of him, much less ramble; even if you beg. He doesn't really believe you when you say you like his voice.

Though, like with every compliment you give him, it makes him blush every time you bring it up. Plus, it does stay in the back of his mind... even if he won't indulge you.

[dark-and-kinky-hetalia-scenarios]

Hello! I was hoping if you would be willing to do the 2p Nordics with a very short s/o? NSFW if possible!

Of course! I hope you enjoy this :D fair warning tho I'm tall so I naturally don't have a lot of experience with being short ^^;;;

2p Denmark/Markell Køhler

He likes it a little too much in the wrong way (cough pervert cough)

He thinks that you being tinier than him is cute, and he will make you wear cute stuff and then fuck you in it, the size difference turns him on

2p Finland/Thurston Väinämöinen

He's already short enough as it is and he hates it, thinks it makes him look weak. That also applies to a possible SO, you would ideally be tall and lean so you can defend yourself and fight of course

He likes it in the bedroom kinda, he prefers having power over you, but that's about it, he'd still fuck you regardless of height, he just finds taller people to be better mates

2p Iceland/Erikur Steillson

Also prefers an SO who is shorter than him, so you're in luck, because he definitely enjoys the power trip of having a shorter SO both inside and outside the bedroom

It also makes it much easier to kidnap you and tie you to the bed until you agree to be his. His communication skills are shit, blame Loki for that one. Actually none of them really taught him any of that

2p Norway/Loki Thomassen

He doesn't have a preference for height other than it being close to his own. You can be as short as you like and he'll still kidnap you, force a love potion on you and then treat you like his most precious play thing

A short SO definitely also gets the short end of the stick, as he overpowers them more easily that way, size matters in this case

2p Sweden/Bernard Oxenstierna

His preferences lean towards a shorter SO but it's not really as outspoken as some of the others preferences. Mostly he likes picking up a short SO and swinging you around like in a dance and also because it's easier to move you around during sex if you're small

His yandere tendencies also have him leaning towards shorter people, they are easier to control physically. It's gonna be fun that day a short person absolutely wrecks him because he thinks them a weakling

[headingalaxys-spicy]

hello 👋 i really love your writing 😖 i was wondering if you could write yandere alphas nordic's x darling omega who has a very high libido? 😏 thank you ❤😄

Well this is one way to start the week enjoy anon :)

Warning! This is a spicy post, so turn away now if this isn't for you!

Denmark 🇩🇰 

Finally, there is someone who can keep up with him in the bedroom. Also, destroy him. 

In order to slow you down, he does have you take a shot of Akvavit (snaps) every hour or half hour (more depending on how rough you are riding him or sucking his soul out). This, however, does backfire often because you’ll be all fired up again & you’ll want to peg him, but considering he’s bossy, he will ‘guide’ you on how to do it properly. 

Denmark even approached Japan with: “Hey! I need help making a machine that can slow Y/N in bed?” 

The dude has even tried to design a piece of furniture that can hold you in place so he doesn’t have to be bottom all the time, but he also hopes your libido would give out due to you having to contort your body so much. 

He hates admitting that he needs a break from you. The fastest he’s ever recovered was 23 hours. The longest was 4 m

When he’s not as patient, he has cuffs on the wall, tables, or bathroom counters where he’ll keep you there so he can rail you without getting injured by you thrusting back or squeezing him for all he’s got. He loves that you can beat him in bed; just intimidated is all. 

Finland 🇫🇮 

He needs some time to adjust to your abundance of energy. As you pound into him ruthlessly, Tino just grins, bears it, and moans. 

What the heck else can he do? He praises you a lot as well. 

“Y/N you’re doing great ah! But maybe can you slow down?!” He’s silently praying to god you’re going to get tired. 

Tino will want to do a lot of foreplay to start to satisfy some tension & just maybe make you not as rough and needy. (He does have a lot of costumes + props) 

On occasion, he does like to tell bad jokes that will kill the mood if you’ve milked him for all he’s got seed-wise. Or if he’s feeling up to the challenge, he’ll take meds that will help him last longer so he can attempt to keep up with you. 

Tends to like doing it in or near a sauna since it reduces your libido a little & relaxes you. Tino is able to keep his sweaty palm on your waist so that you won’t ride him like he’s a dead horse. (Also just makes getting to the aftercare a smoother transition) 

Iceland 🇮🇸 

Uhhhh like isn’t he a teenager still (he’s an adult I think????) ? Also don’t come for me but I also don’t know his human name I haven’t been able to find one on the hetalia Wikis so like yeah . 

Mans just throws a pillow at you and fucking dips. 

I'm not comfortable writing spicy stuff for him. 

Norway 🇳🇴 

Lukas can take your energy like a stoic in the eye of a storm. He can also appreciate the fact that, being a person with the gift of magical abilities, he has his own unique ways of subduing you. He utilizes his ties with his far friends to assist him in taking away some of your sexual energy and giving it to him so he can keep up. 

Lukas has toyed with different potions to slow your libido down. Some had no effect. Others made his nights with you longer and ran him absolutely rugged. He’d be out of commission for a few weeks at times. The fastest he’s able to recover is 2-3 days at the fastest but nothing sooner than that. 

Lukas thinks it a fun challenge to rail you & he likes to mysteriously whisper in your ear: 

“You’re quite the challenge, Y/N, I like that.” 

He tends to prefer you bouncing up and down on him so he can gauge how much longer he has to last while you're riding him, as your latest wave of thrusting can be particularly harsh. He may not say much else to you but grunt in pleasure and moan. He also likes to bite down on his lips and keep it to a minimum when he’s failing to keep up with you and edging towards passing out. 

Sweden

From no words at all to talking all night long like he was at a never-ending ball, you are a type of blessing he didn’t know he needed. 

The fact that you’ll slam him to the floor, the table, cabinets, bookcases, telephone booths, you name it; this tall 5’11 (182 cm) tall man is at your mercy and enjoys it. 

Berwald practically sings your praises as if he trained himself all his life to be a tenor for the Royal Swedish Opera. “Oh yes! Y/N! Y/N! Please don’t stop!” Will be among his symphony for the night. He does communicate with you when you’re hurting his junk, being too rough, or thrusting too quickly.

The two of you do argue or pull sticks over who's going to be at the bottom for that session. 

Like Denmark, he does like to have specialized furniture that he can use to wear you out & your high-ass libido. 

He can recover the quickest from having sex with you give him 12 hours and a cup of coffee, and he’s all good to go again. Only once did you manage to keep him out of commission for 4 months. 

[sunny-mercya]

The Cruel King

01. Trigger

Nordic 5 x Male Reader

Fandom -> Hetalia

Masterlist | Next

»Älskling,«

Berwalds voice was gruff as always—deep and rough like old firewood—throughout the years it had become to age like this.

Normally Berwald didn't need to wake you up and if they had to, Tino would be the one who does it—though Tino was currently busy downstairs, trying to tame the Dane and having everything in a civil matter—and if Berwald had reasons to wake you, it would be during the times you would get sick.

»Älskling,« Berwald tried again, shaking your shoulder slightly—trying to get a reaction of stirring from you. No avail, you wouldn't bug. You probably were already awake, just opted to make it seem as if you were still sleeping.

Berwald heaved out a sigh, sitting down on the edge of your—their—bed. Running his calloused hand over your shoulder, arm and back. Hoping if he could easy you a bit, you were more willing to get up.

»Älskling, he isn't gonna hurt you anymore. I promise and if he might try, the others and I will be here to keep you safe.« he had leaned down, sure that he will get some minimal backache from it, whispering the promise into your ear.

It had been only the second day since the Dane—Matthias—had been stayed over in their home—the whole family does during Christmas, which is a absolute first after all these years of not—and it already had started a downhill in your mood.

You turned only slightly towards Berwald, looking at him with bleary puffy red eyes. With a slight intake of motion you gestured to Berwald to lay down next to you, which he—with slight hesitation of not wanting to get too cozy when work had to be done—does as you asked.

For a long time of by passing seconds which turns into minutes—and then perhaps into a hour or two—you starred at Berwald, playing with his fingers, leaving a silence between you two.

»It's only till after Silvester«

»I–I can't–can't go down there, where—where Mat–mat–mat–where he is. I just can't Ber, it's too much–too much to bear.«

You clenched your eyes shut, memories of the past flooding your mind, bringing another wave of trembling havoc.

Berwald fingers wandering towards your cheek, caressing over them.

»I know älskling, I know. But you have to get up at one point or you will make Tino into a worried mother-hen.«

With that being said, Berwald got off the bed and in one swift motion scooped you up in his arms and carry you downstairs into the livingroom.

~~~

Tino, while cooking todays lunch, cast every so often—when he could leave the stove and the dish preparing alone for every two minutes— a worried glance into the livingroom towards you.

You, who sats apathetic on the Sofa—watching with no interest some show on the tv and listen to Peters—who plays with his Legos—happily chatter. Emil, who sat next to you, occasionally shows you something in the book he reads.

It was good that it was just them in the house for now. Because if Matthias would be here—which he is not as Berwald took him out to get more firewood—the entire mood would drop into a 360° degree angle of downhill.

Still Tino felt like as if it had been a bad idea to celebrate Christmas, after all these decades of years and centuries—after their separations of independence—together as a family.

Too soon it was perhaps as the mental scars of abuse, neglect and tyranny you had endured hadn't healed.

»Tino, relax. If you run like a worried mother-hen you will make yourself stressed out.« said Lukas, sipping his fifth cup of coffee.

»I know I know, just, have you seen [Name]? I'm worried it will end into another decaying episode of lasting Depression. It took us years to have him as of now, happy, lively.«

»Tino, I know. I was there too. Still, getting yourself worked up, will cause him just as much stress as yourself.«

Tino sighed in defeat, nodding at Lukas and returning his attention fully back to the cooking. Lukas was right, worrying would just make it worse, he needs to stay calm—having a level headed mind.

Lukas downed the rest of his coffee, standing up from the chair and going towards the counters—about to prepare his next and last cup for the next few hours.

»We all know how Matthias was back then and we also know that he has changed to someone better. It just, [Name] has stayed too long, too loyal with him during his wrath time that it will take more than just a few hundred years to grant him a forgiveness.«

Tino hummed, giving no reply to what Lukas had said as he was right. Though his mind wanders back to the rough times in the past and when [Name] came to them and asked for sanctuary.

~~~

Lunch had been uneventful, embossed with unnerving silence and still apathetic behaviour—you barely touched the food, only having about three bite before pushing the plate away and toying with the napkin—from your side and excitedly loud chatter from Matthias.

It had been afterwards that you started, in a way they didn't thought would happen again, react again.

Matthias had said something in Danish to you, something innocently mundane with a cheeky smile of his—thought he could bring you to talk, wanting to hear your voice—your cheerful chatter—after so long again.

In a flash you turned around to him. Body going rigid into a lock. Wide eyed you starred at him—at Matthias—and then as if you were in a sort of trance, on autopilot, you bowed down and replying in old danish back to him.

They all, especially Matthias, were perplexed at your action. Watching how you took Emil by his hands and taking him upstairs—coming back down seconds after, walking into the livingroom and taking a whole box of Peters toy with you to whichever room you had taken Emil.

Lukas pursed his lips, crossing his arms and tilting his head a bit as he glanced with narrowed eyes at Matthias. Scoffing just slightly under his breath. He had a hunch to what just happen—why you begun to act like this—so out of character and at the same time it wasn't—and it wasn't even Matthias fault, but it was—not with what he had said today, but with his actions he had done in the past.

»Huh, I've never seen my Skat act like this.« mused Matthias out, genuinely confused. He shrugged it off albeit, grin returning to his lips and saying something along the lines of; c'mon Peter let's go and build some snowmans

Whilst Lukas begun to walk upstairs, it was now Berwalds turn to glare with a narrowing gaze at the Dane.

»Ber, don't.« whispered Tino to his Husband, placing a hand on his arm. Starting now a fight, wouldn't be a great idea.

~~~

»What you're doing there [Nickname]?« Lukas leaned against the doorframe, having found you and Emil rather quickly.

»Keeping watch over our little Emil like the good Servant I am. The great King is not supposed to be distributed during the time of after lunch.« as you told Lukas, you had switched from old danish to norwegian and into your own native tongue—Schurlisch—in a spawn of seconds.

Lukas was rather glad that they all had decided to learn each other's language.

You started to whisper reassuring words to Emil. Giving him a comforting smile—of the kind he remembers when Emil had been little and when Matthias had one after another, too many, drunken nights which were more than often filled with manic, anger and bloodshed—taking another Wooden toy and showed it to him.

Unfortunately his guess had been right. Matthias causal use of „Skat“ had triggered your mind back into the old past. You had lost your grip on reality—thinking you are Matthias spouse, but also Servant and assistant, again.

A sad sight to witness, though who could and would blame you? It wasn't your fault that you were scarred, brand-marked even, by the past and actions of someone you once loved.

Lukas debated with himself, weighing out the pros and cons, if he was about to play along or trying to pull you out of this reality stupor.

»You want me to join in?«

»Are you finish with your today's duties?«

»Indeed I am, Vennen«

«Then suit yourself, mei freunor«

For now, just for today, Lukas mused in thoughts as he sits down across from you and Emil, he would play along.

[evereinefaust]

. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ 𝐍𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐢𝐜 𝐅𝐮𝐧 ࿐ྂ

Pairing: Nordic 5 X afab!Reader

Sypnosis: Returning home from a regular day at school, MC spends the evening bonding with her precious family.

Word Count: 3,130

"I'm home!" You shouted as you arrive back from school. Weird, Matthias usually hugs me to death when I arrive. "[Name]!!!" The Dane's voice rang inside the large house. Your body freezes as you stood there without any movements. You regret shouting about your arrival, but you needed to because your older brothers would know that you're home. Suddenly, Matthias came running to you and then tackled you to a hug. "Ack!" You spluttered out as you accidentally throw your bag away. "Oh [Name], I miss you so much" Matthias cooed as he rubbed his face on your back, you closed your eyes as your body came into contact with the cold floor. Ouch!

Then, you sensed the murderous aura of your older brother, Lukas. He appeared behind the two of you then you sweat-dropped. Uh oh... Lukas didn't hesitate to pull the Dane's tie tightly, pulling him off you as he chokes. You stood up then dusted your uniform and grab your bag. "C-can-'t b-b-b-br-brea-the N-N-N-Norge!!"  Matthias choke out, but the Norwegian didn't stop. "A note for you. Don't you dare touch either [Name] or Cathrine. Ever" He said as he released his tie. "I... understand..." The Dane panted.

Cathrine, she was your younger sister. The two of you were being adopted by the Nordics, but you were in the household before she is. You found her wandering around town when you went out to buy food, then you decided to adopt her too. She is 13 years old while you're 17, you had the same age as the youngest Nordic in the family, Emil. Even though the two of you had the same age, the two of you weren't close because you always tease him like what Lukas and others would do. But he is close to Cathrine, and you sometimes spotted him blushing because of her. Cathrine is innocent and very smart for a child. Yes, all in the Nordic household cared for the youngest in the family, and all of you call her a child even though she denies it. She is excellent at violin and piano while you're excellent at [favorite instrument]. She had black long hair and was always tied into twin tails, her bangs is long and covered the right side of her face, as well as two short hair on either side of her head.

"Okaeri, Onee-sama" Cathrine greeted you as she appeared out of nowhere. "Gah! Oh... Cathrine, please don't scare me like that" You gasped as you heard your younger sister's voice. Well, she is not Japanese, she's just excellent at foreign languages. And yeah, she knows how to use magic, the Norwegian taught her so. While you're not, you don't have time to practice magic. "Jeg beklager..." She muttered sadly. "Ei se mitään" You smiled. "I'm going to prepare your favorite snacks" She smiled and then skipped off. "Well, the two of them are cute together that I wanted to squish them to death," Matthias said, you turned to him exactly when Lukas started to choke him again. He never learns...

You went to your room upstairs and then changed your clothes. You wore a [favorite color]-colored T-shirt and black denim. You tied your hair into [favorite hairstyle] and then exited the room. Once you went down, you were welcomed by the scent of your favorite snack. The plate was sitting on the table with your favorite snack on, besides that was a cup of earl grey tea. You sat on the chair and then started to munch on your snack. Wait a sec! I haven't noticed either Lukas or Matthias when I went down. Where could they be? 

"Hi [Name]" Emil greeted with his usual bored tone as he went inside the dining room to grab some licorice hidden under the tablecloth. "Why do you put it there? It is a very obvious place to hide your licorice" You asked as you watched him. "Shut up. I don't hide my licorice here, Cathrine needed some help in searching for her missing licorice" Emil said as he grabbed the candy from under the tablecloth. "Why? What happened?" You asked as you took a bite of your snack. "Cathrine was practicing magic but accidentally made the licorice disappear. Lukas said that the magic would make one object disappear and reappear at some place" Emil explained as he headed back to the living room. "Oh, okay. By the way, it was big brother" You said as you drank your tea. "Shut up! I would never call him that!" Emil shouted.

After you finished with your snack, you placed the dishes in the sink and washed them. After that, you wiped your hands using a towel then went upstairs to do your homework. You opened the door of your room then entered inside and locked it. You got your Home Economics notebook from your bag and opened the page. "Hm... Let's see... What are the procedures to make a wooden cabinet?" You said as you played with your pen. Darn! I forgot my book at school! It's inside the locker! Wait! There isn't any answer to the question here, damn!

"Argh!" You groaned as you tugged your hair in frustration. Then you saw your other older brother, Berwald, making some furniture outside the house. Maybe Berwald can help me with this. You got your things and headed downstairs and outside. You saw the Swede busy hammering some nails. He saw you and you stood straight. "What do you need, [Name]?" He asked as he stopped what he was doing. "I... Um... Well... I need your help with my homework" You said nervously as you looked away.

"Is it about furniture?" He asked, you nodded. He motioned you to sit on one chair he had outside, and you obeyed as he sat too. "What is it about?" He asked you. "Well... It was all about how to make a cabinet. You know that I don't know much about furniture" You told him, and he nodded. After that, you told him about your other homework and he would answer it for you. After that, you thanked him as you entered the house and he continue with his work.

You went back to your room as you returned your things to your bag, and headed downstairs afterward. You saw your Finnish brother, Tino, cooking food cause it is nearly evening. "Hi Tino, may I help you with something?" You asked him. "Oh hi there [Name], of course, you may. Please chop these vegetables" He told you as he chopped the meat. "Okay!" You smiled as you chopped the vegetables.

"Jeg hader dig!" Cathrine's voice echoed inside the house, Tino and you stopped what you were doing and took a peek upstairs. There you saw Matthias face-planted on the floor as the bathroom door was opened. That stupid Dane, he opened the door of the bathroom again with Cathrine inside, poor Cathrine. "Oh my gosh! I need to help Cathrine!" Tino said as he went to Cathrine inside the bathroom.

You went upstairs then saw Matthias still on the floor, you ignored him and then went inside the bathroom. Tino was washing Cathrine's hair while her body was covered in a towel as she sat on the chair in the bathroom. "What happened here, Cathrine?" You asked her, her face seems to turn red as you looked at her. "Det är inget" She muttered.

"Come on Cathrine, you should tell us," Tino told her, she sighed. "Well... After my magic practice with storebror Lukas, the potions inside were scattered and my whole body was covered in potions. Storebror told me to clean myself and he would clean the room. I went to the bathroom and cleaned myself, after that, when I was about to open the door, dumme bror Matthias broke the door as he opened it and hurriedly went inside. He stumbled on me as my towel was removed. I kicked him out of the bathroom, that's what happened" Cathrine told you as her face turned bright red.

The two of you went poker-faced after Cathrine's explanation, Tino finished drying Cathrine's hair as he stood up. "Don't worry about it sweetie, it will never, ever happen again" Tino told her as he smiled, she smiled too. "Kiitos, isoveli" She thanked him. After that, you and Tino exited the bathroom and you guarded Cathrine outside, since the door lock was broken, Matthias might enter inside again. Matthias stood up on his feet as he complained about how his face hurt, you sighed. "Please don't open the door of the bathroom whenever there was a person inside, especially Cathrine" Tino grabbed his collar as he said, giving emphasis on Cathrine. He smiled an evil smile as Matthias gulped. "Good, now I will return to my cooking"

"That was harsh..." Matthias scratched his head as he looked down the stairs, you sighed. "It was your fault, after all. Who said that you should enter the bathroom without knocking first or checking if there is a person inside, you even broke the lock" You told him as you crossed your arms. "Sorry about it [Name], but I thought that it was my room. I was in a hurry so I didn't even check if it was really my room or not" He told you. "What did you do?" You asked him as your eyebrow raised. "Well... I just visited Norge in his magic room, but then I drank one of his potions and had the urge to do something in my room" He explained as he looked at you. 

You sighed then the door of the bathroom opened, revealing a young girl in a light orange sundress. "I'm finished..." Cathrine muttered as she tugged her dress down. You step away from the door and next to Matthias. "Sorry about earlier Lyse, it was an accident" Matthias apologized to her as they looked at each other. "I will only forgive you if you promised not to do that again" Cathrine set a condition as she crossed her arms,  Matthias grinned widely as he nodded. "And you need to do what I order for a year" She added, the Dane almost drop his jaw. "What?" He asked in disbelief. "I will only forgive you if you adhere to my rules, take it or leave it, because I will let storebror know about this, and you know what he will do to you" Cathrine glared at him as she placed her hand on her hips, Matthias gulped. "Fine... I'll do it" He let his arms hang down.

You grabbed Cathrine's hands then the two of you headed downstairs, leaving the Dane behind. He catch up with the two of you as you headed inside the kitchen. You helped Tino set the table as Cathrine was sitting on the couch in the living room with Matthias. After a while, Emil and Lukas came down and then headed inside the dining room. They took a seat next to each other. Berwald also entered inside and took a seat next to Emil. You took a seat next to Lukas and Tino next to Berwald. The last one to enter is Cathrine and Matthias, the Dane sat next to you, and Cathrine next to Tino.

All of you had dinner in a little chitchat. "Say Lukas, when will the next contest be held?" You asked the Norwegian who just focus on eating his dinner. "In a week, maybe on Thursday" He replied as he looked at you. You sighed then continue eating your meal. "Stóri bróðir, can I have licorice after this?" You heard Cathrine ask the Icelander. You looked at him as he looked at Cathrine, his face turning bright pink. "Sure thing, litla systir" He replied as he smiled, you smirked. "Oh well, if only someone could call his brother, big brother. Maybe the youngest will like him more" You said loudly to yourself while looking down at your food, you notice Emil flinched.

"Shut up!" He quietly said as he looked down at his food. The others stopped talking and looked at him, his face turned redder. "Stóri bróðir? Are you okay?" Cathrine asked politely as she tilted her head cutely to the side, you can't help yourself to squeal inside. "Yeah, I'm alright. Don't worry about me" Emil replied as he hang his head even lower. The Swede, Fin, Norwegian, and the Dane noticed this. Tino just smiled, Matthias grinned while Berwald and Lukas just stared at the Icelander, although Lukas smiled slightly, only visible to Cathrine.

"Storebror, you smiled" Cathrine muttered as you heard her. "S...miled?" You asked yourself in shock. "It looks like Emil is blushing madly!" Matthias said loudly as he laughed. "Shut up, you're ruining it," Lukas said as he grabbed Matthias' tie behind you, he choked, yet again. You just sighed but smirked when you observed Emil's behavior. After dinner, you helped Tino clean the place. Cathrine went to the bathroom to bathe early.

After cleaning, you decided to change your clothes into pajamas, but you didn't sleep because you will be having a movie with the Nordics. You wore a [f/c] t-shirt with matching pajamas, and you untied your hair and brushed it. You placed the brush on your bed and then exited the room, you saw Cathrine exited her room then the two of you went downstairs. She wore her favorite Norway flag t-shirt and orange pajamas.

Tino was setting the television as the two of you sat on the couch. Cathrine went to Emil and grabbed some licorice which the Icelander doesn't care about her taking some of his candy and she went back to your side. "Want some, onee-sama?" She asked and extended her hand with some licorice in it. You took one and thanked her, you don't like sweets that much. After a while, Matthias came down wearing his plain white t-shirt and white pajamas.

"What's the movie for today?" He asked and sat next to Cathrine, she gave one licorice to the Dane and he thanked her. "I guess it was horror" Emil replied while chewing on his licorice. "Horror, huh?" Matthias muttered, after a while, he grinned widely. "Hey [Name]" He called you and tapped your back. "What?" You dead-panned. "I heard that you are afraid of horror movies," He said, you glared at him. "No, I'm not" You replied. "Oh? Really? Cathrine told me that one time, when you were with Alfred and Gilbert, the three of you watched a horror movie and you kept screaming from the beginning until the end of the movie" He grinned.

You blushed slightly at this then looked at Cathrine, she sweat-dropped. "Oh, look! Storebror already came down" She stated as an excuse then got off the couch and went to the Norwegian and hugged his arm as he went down the stairs and entered the kitchen. You sighed while Matthias continued to grin. "Oh, stop that!" You punched his cheeks hardly that it became swollen, now you're pissed. Well, it's true that I'm scared of horrors. What the hell is wrong with that Dane?!

After everyone gathered inside the living room, the lights were turned off and the movie was starting. You can't stop shaking because of nervousness and Matthias, who was sitting beside you, kept on grinning which made you pissed. Cathrine switched her place and sat in between Lukas and Emil. The movie was called Poltergeist, the newly released horror movie made in America. And Alfred lent the movie to Matthias for the whole Nordic household to watch.

You hate horror and supernatural stuff, such as exorcism and supernatural activity. You hate blood, ghost, darkness, and some more. As the movie was playing, you kept the blanket that you brought down with you, on your head while your body was slightly shaking. You noticed that others were focused on watching the movie, but little Cathrine burrowed her head in Lukas' chest as the said Norwegian placed his arms around the girl protectively.

As the movie kept on playing, you kept shrieking in fear as the Dane kept on annoying you. Now you can't handle it, you put the blanket all over your body as you rolled yourself into a ball and sobbed. Cathrine already gave up 30 minutes earlier and Lukas escorted her inside her room and watched her sleep, that is his routine when Cathrine can't handle the horror, and he will be by her side when she wakes up, which means that Lukas will not continue watching the movie anymore.

"Hey, are you alright?" Matthias tapped your shoulder as he asked, concern filling his tone. "I don't want to watch anymore..." You replied but your tone was shaky and your body kept on shaking. You heard him sigh then removed the blanket from your body. "Hey!" You shouted and were about to retrieve your stolen blanket but stopped when you realized that the movie was still playing. You closed your eyes and rolled yourself into a ball again. "You know [Name], don't place a blanket all over your body, you can die because of it" He lecture you which you ignored, and he sighed.

After a while, he carried you bridal style and you blush slightly at this, but he can't see it because of the darkness. He opened the door of your room and placed you on the bed and opened the lights. "Be sure to sleep peacefully, [Name]" He said then placed a kiss on your forehead. "Yeah, sure..." You replied and watched him smile and closed the lights and the door. You sighed then placed the blanket on your body as you started to drift to sleep. I know it wasn't that much, but I still have a fun time with my family.

[yanxidarlings]

MASTERPOST

HETALIA

WRITINGS

newer works for hetalia

GENERAL HEADCANONS

latin america, mongolia

older works for hetalia

GENERAL HEADCANONS

america, australia, prussia, romano, turkey, finland, ukraine, england, nordics

INDIVIDUAL SCENARIOS

shy with america

superhero-esque with america

platonic yandere with america

daydreams with america

uncivilised with england

victorian poc with england

childhood friend with hong kong

GROUP SCENARIOS

heartbroken with the axis

disappointed with the axis

anxious with the axis

unhappily married with the allies

aroace with the allies

lesbian with the allies

refusing to eat with the allies

insecure with the nordics

sickly with the italy brothers

pugnacious with the german brothers

psychopath with eng-ita-ame

androphobia with eng-spa-can

otome with ger-eng-ame

bosses relative with ger-eng-ame

sociable with ger-eng-rus

sharing with ger-eng-pru

lovestruck with ger-swe-spa

reciprocated yandere with rus-ame

rejected proposal with rus-ger

VERSUS SERIES

austria vs switzerland

ukraine vs belarus

hungary vs romania

england vs romania

russia vs germany

america vs russia

america vs germany (p2, p3)

norway vs iceland

hong kong vs south korea

greece vs turkey vs egypt

YANDERE ALPHABET

D,M,Z with america

F,H,I with america

C,D,H with prussia

D,A,Y with australia

J,Q,U with the baltics

D,W,Z with ame-can-fra

X,S with eng-ger-rus

F,L,M with eng-pru

B,J,T with rus-ame

E,K,R with ice-jap

A,P,Y with hk-tai-mac

YANDERE DISCUSSION

unrequited yandere

warmonger

fake broken

UPCOMING

the draft has been started

romano and prussia sharing a darling

male belarus, ukraine and russia sharing a darling

latin america sharing a darling

general yandere asia

list of old inbox requests i might get to oneday

here

HARRY POTTER

WRITINGS

POLY SLYTHERIN SERIES

sharing, individual headcanons, bully! slytherins, obscurial! reader

POLY HEADCANONS

mattheo & theodore, mattheo & blaise, cormac & zacharias, ravenclaw boys

GENERAL HEADCANONS

zacharias smith, anthony goldstein, cormac mclaggen

UPCOMING

the draft has been started

boggart reactions of slytherin, ravenclaw and hufflepuff boys

list of inbox requests ill get to oneday

here

THE WALKING DEAD

WRITINGS

GENERAL HEADCANONS

chris manawa

POLY SCENARIOS

daryl and merle, bromigos

LIST OF CHARACTERS I WRITE FOR

RULES FOR REQUESTS

[paikothecateater]

Alright, Danish Slaughterhouse rant.

So I first read this fic a while back. It was recommended to me by a friend. Now, they'd recommended me pretty weird stuff before (Iceland X fridge crack ship stuff) so I was a little bit skeptical when I started reading it. I wasn't super into the hetalia fandom at the time, so I had never seen anyone talking about this fic before.

Now I could rant about how fucking disgusting this story is, but that's already been done. This writer has managed to write a story so bad that people looked over some pretty major stuff.

Like how the writing is a fucking crime against humanity.

First I'd just like to say that I mean no hate towards the person who wrote this fic. It was a long time ago and I doubt they still stand by it. I'm sure they cringe at the thought of having been the one to write it. I will not be mentioning their name as 1) I don't even know it and 2) I don't want anyone harassing them.

It's pretty rare to become infamous in your fandom. Especially writing fan fics. The creator of Gutters, Glassmilk (I believe that's their name) made a fic that was so genuinely good and heartbreaking that they became famous among the fandom. The creator of the Danish slaughterhouse however, because famous in the fandom for making a fic that was genuinely so appalling people couldn't help talking about it.

I'll be using the names they gave the characters to make things easier.

I'll go ahead and bring up what is in my opinion a huge literary crime.

The lack of descriptivism.

I'd like to mention that I've written novels before. I've just been unable to publish them due to the lack of resources. It's hard publishing an English novel in an Arabic nation. Regardless, I think I know a thing or two about this whole process.

Descriptivism is something that I personally think is very important for a good story. This story left so much to be desired. All I could imagine for Mathias' house? Flat, solid colours, generic furniture, unclear structure. It had absolutely no character. You could have given it a design that would have reflected his personality and made it easier to understand the layout with just a few sentences. I know describing a layout is tough because it's a little tricky to stay consistent and it gets a bit repetitive in writing, but an attempt could have at least been made.

When we reach the second half of the fic, it becomes very hard to get invested in the suspense of what's happening because the layout is so confusing. Whenever a hiding place is mentioned, it's crucial that the layout is clear because if it isn't then the following questions will always distract from the anxiety: where is this hiding place in the house? Where is it in reference to the place Mathias is at? How escapable is it?

It genuinely gets too distracting.

Next there is character development.

I don't even have to be the one to say that the portrayal of Mathias' character is extremely butchered. Let's not even mention the weak ass motive for all this, but it is so genuinely weird how shit seems to go from zero to one hundred with this shit. More on that in a second.

The characters are genuinely some of the most one dimensional characters I think I've ever seen. Like seriously? How am I as a reader supposed to route for a wooden plank?

Emil is just 'emo teenager with headphones'

Lukas? 'barely mentioned overprotective brother'

Berwald is pretty much the same with 'overprotective father'

Tino 'every single mom in a survival movie'

And of course Mr. Mathias 'kill kill stab stab because pain and misery is fun?'

See? Incredibly one dimensional. At this point, you might as well route for Mathias to get this bullshit done quicker. None of them have genuinely lovable moments.

Peter is a whole other issue, because if you're a decent human being, you're going to be concerned for the child, but it doesn't change the fact that for the first half, he's also incredibly one dimensional.

Then is another huge issue, the red flags.

We all know what eventually happens between Mathias and Peter. The way this is portrayed is so fucking awful.

You're telling me Peter was found injured in a locked office and no one questioned it? Either Tino and Berwald are awful fucking parents or they're incredibly stupid. Lock picking? The absolute fuck? That doesn't even make a little sense. If it was my child I'd be freaking out. I'd immediately nope the fuck out of there because clearly this is not a safe place for my child. All they do is lightly chastise this poor child and move on?

I've never personally been a fan of Nordic ships because I see their relationship as platonic. I also have other reasons for genuinely disliking these ships, but I won't get into that.

That being said, The Peter situation was not the only or first red flag. Mathias is shown very early on to be very disrespectful of Lukas' boundaries and actually assaulted him. It was just brushed over as relationship drama. What even the fuck?

Then there's the situation with Emil. Arguably the worst one ever.

I hate to say it, but the portrayal of both Peter and Emil post the traumatic situation was actually pretty consistent with someone who has actually been through something like this. With Peter, the mannerisms of a victimised child are all present. Which further reinforces the fact that Tino and Berwald are absolutely brainless and I'll get into that in a second.

With Emil there's the conflicting feelings that come with being victimised by someone you genuinely trusted. The initial panic followed by the Internal conflict. When someone is attacked by someone they trust, there's a very common sense of confusion that follows. I'll try my best to explain it as well as I can.

Realistically, he'll have panicked, screamed, cursed, etcetera during the attack, however, afterwards, in a non-adrenalin induced state, his brain would begin to flood with so many things. There's the anger, hurt, sadness about being attacked. There's the devastating fear that this person who he'd trusted his entire life and relied on is now completely severed from his life. The fear that it'll happen again. And the overwhelming anxiety about having to deal with the situation.

I'll try to make a light comparison here.

Imagine you're in school and have to give a speech for whatever reason. You're in the middle of it, when someone suddenly walks up to you, slaps you across the face and insults you in front of the whole audience. Obviously, everyone saw, no one is blaming you, realistically, no matter what you say, everyone is on your side.

However, the pressure to respond to the situation is overwhelming. You have to address it because it happened and everyone knows it happened. You may still be very emotional about it and it may be too sensitive to talk about immediately, or you're just so confused about how to properly respond. Do you get angry? Do you play the saint and pretend it didn't affect you? Do you pretend it never happened? Regardless, you have to respond because everyone wants to know how it affected you, what happened? Why it happened?, etcetera.

This is exactly the situation Emil is in. So what does Lukas do as a good big brother?

He gently and patiently waits for Emil to open up to him while letting him know that he's safe and that he will be believed no matter what-

I'm just kidding, he violently pushes Emil for a response in a way that could only further traumatise him. He makes him feel like his emotional response isn't valid and that he somehow did something wrong instead of waiting until he's ready to talk or even take matters into his own hands and confront Mathias.

It is fucking horrible.

Then when their fight gets louder and the other three get involved (Berwald, Tino and Peter) and Peter finally confesses to having been hurt Tino puts on this whole caring act like 'oh remember how we taught you about this stuff?'

Bitch, what?

So this is a conversation that has happened before. And you still couldn't recognise the signs that something changed in Peter's behaviour? You teach the child about how to recognise when he's being victimised without teaching yourself how to recognise when your child is being victimised?

What the actual fuck?

I'd like to say that during this scene, Lukas feels guilty for the way he approached the situation which, yes, it was bad, you should be guilty, but it's not like he fucking does anything to rectify it.

Emil listens to Peter talking and has to come to the realisation that he was hurt. That his world was crumbling down. Still, Lukas makes no effort to make him feel supported.

Suddenly, this infuriating scene is interrupted by an even more infuriating one.

Berwald is understandably beating the absolute shit out of Mathias. The others run in and watch until Tino screams for Berwald to stop. Why? Because he's scaring Peter.

Hello? Then get Peter the fuck out. Surely this can't be the priority. Peter will survive watching his attacker get absolutely fucked up. I promise you. He will.

I'd also love to point out the sheer lack of fucks given about Emil and how this is affecting him. I'd like to give Tino the benefit of the doubt and say he was also concerned for Emil, but it doesn't even matter.

So like a fucking idiot, Berwald gets off of Mathias and they all start heading towards the door.

I'd like to mention that Mathias having already shot Emil in the leg was even more incentive for them to leave because even if it was an accident, clearly something is not quite right here. Surely Emil would prefer to heal at home and if Lukas was such a good brother he'd insist on taking Emil home.

Anyway, so, Mathias reveals his true intentions and the hunt begins.

Do I have to mention how stupid this is? A hunt? If he did actually have a motive he'd prefer to go for the easy kill, use those weird shock things and just murder them. If he's too sadistic for that he could also just casually immobilise them and torture them, but no, it has to be a hunt. Sure whatever.

As I said, the layout gets super complicated, but that's not the only issue.

He allegedly shot Emil to even out the playing field, but uh... What about Peter? Oh he gets to team up with the others? That's stupid and also doesn't solve the problem. Now you have to run for your life and lug a child around? It's just so damn weird because he was so committed to things being fair and as such shot him in the fucking leg, but Peter can go to hell?

Berwald and Tino are killed off pretty instantly, so I'll immediately skip onto the other two.

Why was Emil's situation so fucking weird? Also, I'm sorry for the weird topic, but how the fuck does the author think piss works? It's such a weird element to include in the story. It served no purpose to the story as Mathias already knew Emil was in the room. It just made it all grosser.

Also, again with the one dimensional characters. You're telling me Mathias never once felt pity?

It would have improved the story if maybe during the scene where he tries to drown Emil and presumes him dead for him to have a moment of remorse. Tear up about the fact that he murdered someone he cared about. It could've made Emil feel like there was hope for him. Just because your character is a monster that doesn't necessarily make them a psycho. It would've enhanced the story, but no.

And you're telling me after this whole situation everyone is just... Fine? Emil and Peter are just playing together? Emil had to abandon Peter to save himself, surely there will be a bit of tension about that.

Also, Mathias' motive is just bad. It's inconsistent with his character and doesn't make any sense.

This is a hetalia fic, no? There is a rule according to the canon that a nations decisions are secondary to their bosses. That being said, I've never met the Danish royal family, but I doubt the words 'go fuck your entire family' has ever left their mouths.

Another motive could've been that he was just fed up with how he was generally treated by the others. It's a weak motive, but it's better than that bullshit.

Also, the populations of the countries immigrating to Denmark because the Nordics are trapped at Mathias'?

Emil has been on long trips to visit south East Asia. His population stayed put then. So how does this work?

Overall, this fic is just badly written. It needs some serious work. It's inconsistent, dull, confusing, appalling and just downright criminal.

[lady0ctavia]

Introduction, Rules, Current WIPs, and Masterlist😘

The masterlist is found here!

Hello and welcome to my shameless Hetalia self-shipping sideblog! I'm just here to write self-indulgent fanfics, imagines, headcanons, etc. So, if you wanna go along for the ride, hop on in! 😉

But first, here's a rundown of what I will and won't be willing to write.

What I'm willing to write:

Axis, Allies, Nordics (except Iceland, see next section for reason), as well as pretty much all the other adult characters in the series.

Both 1p and 2p versions of the characters

Yandere

Very slight NSFW

Angst

Fluff

What I WON'T write

Iceland (I know he's an adult, but he's always looked like a young teenager to me, and I cannot in good conscience write self-insert for a character that looks like a child in my eyes. Sorry to the Iceland fans out there). 🤷‍♀️

Explicit NSFW and lemons

Literally, any character that looks like a child or has their physical, canonical age as lower than 18. This includes Lichtenstein, Sealand, Ladonia, Kugelmugel, Wy, Latvia, etc.

My Current WIPs

How They Act Around their Crush (Axis)

How They Act Around their Crush (Allies)

How They Act Around their Crush (Nordics)

A whole 2p!Prussia x Reader fanfic with multiple chapters (some of which are already available to read)

[yawujin]

please please please!!!

part 2 of the virgen reader with the nordics! <3

you asked and now you shall receive 🪄 ₊˚⊹ ✧ ˚⋆

hetalia nordics | first time 💭 . ★⋆. ࿐࿔

type • smut , nsfw content , they/you pronouns used , first time trope

author's note* you can read part one here! ︎₊˚⊹ ✧

denmark/matthias køhler ♥︎

he's very touchy with his partner as he gets them to slowly relax during sex. he intertwines their hands with his own, giving them a quick little smile to get it across to them that they're doing just fine. he's usually pretty loud, so it's new to see denmark being so quiet. in reality, he just wants to enjoy the moment, only speaking to give them words of affirmation. internally, he's so excited, horny, and ready to go at it with them....'patience, matthias, patience...'

norway/lukas bondevik ♥︎

he's right next to them, breathing on their neck while giving them wet, short kisses down their throat onto their collarbones. he asks if they're ready yet, and it's all good if they are not. "take as long as you need..." he speaks into the crook of their neck. his body heat is making them feel dizzy. "just let me know when you want it." norway's a very patient man, but he would love nothing more in this moment to make his partner take all of him. it's taking every fiber of his being to not start grinding himself on his partner's body rn

sweden/björn oxenstierna ♥︎

as much as he would love to just manhandle tf out of his partner, he allows them to adjust themselves onto him as they need to. it's their first time , and he doesn't want to be overbearing in any way. the most he does is stroke their hair, caress their face and plant a few kisses on their nose, forehead, and cheeks. if they're feeling insecure about how they look or about what noises they make, if any, he'll just tell them to let it all out. "d'you want me to continue?" very polite indeed...or at least for now. enjoy it while you can! ;p

iceland/emil steilsson ♥︎

he shows them where to put their hands, softly holding them and placing them on himself, on his shoulders. "just stay there, okay? i'll do the rest..." he goes into kiss them, which soon becomes a makeout session. when you two pull away from each other, he's breathing hard and pressing himself against you. "can i?" with their consent, now it's his turn to put his hands on them. his hand slips in between their thighs, spreading them just a little bit wider. his heart is poundinggg and he can't wait to get to the part where the two of you are less anxious and significantly more desperate.

finland/timo väinämöinen ♥︎

treats them so very delicately, but he looks so ready to just devour them. he's holding back a lot. he fluctuates between kissing their neck, chest and ear area and their face. and although he really does love kissing his partner's cute face, he's doing it so much now to keep himself busy, reminding himself that they might not be ready to take him just yet. when they are though, he makes sure they feel so good. "waiting for them was so worth it" <3

[toastermoth]

Hetalia Masterlist

Germany:

N. Italy:

S. Italy:

Japan:

America:

China:

Britain:

France:

Russia:

Finalnd:

Sweden:

Norway:

Denmark:

Iceland:

Lithuania:

Estonia:

Latvia:

Austria:

Switzerland:

Prussia:

Hong Kong:

Netherlands:

Luxembourg:

Luxembourg x M!Reader gen HCS

Poland:

Romania:

Slovakia:

Greece:

Spain:

Turkey:

Korea:

Egypt:

Cameroon:

New zealand:

Cuba:

Canada:

FAMILIAL/PLATONIC:

Chibitalia:

Lichtenstein:

Wy:

Sealand:

Ladonia:

Seychelles:

Taiwan:

Indonesia:

Thailand:

Cyprus:

Ukraine:

Belarus:

Moldova:

Hungary:

Czechia:

Belgium:

England's brothers:

Nyos:

[milaisreading]

Hetalia AU:

Yn, while holding a puffling: Awww! These are adorable, Iceland! So they got lost in the city?

Iceland, holding a puffling while walking towards a cliff: Yep. They confuse the city lights for the moon and end up there instead of the ocean.

Yn, walking over to Iceland while patting the puffling: So, why are we here again? Shouldn't we give them some food and-

Iceland: Yeet! *throws the puffling off of the cliff*

Yn: AHHH!!! *covers the puffling's eyes while watching the other fly away*

Iceland: We need to throw them like this.

Yn:...

Yn: Can we keep this one, at least?

Mr. Puffin while landing on her head: No. There can only be one!!

[generational-atrophy]

hiii! i loved your "what they would look for in a partner" post so do u think u could do that with the nordic characters?? thank you<3

(Hetalia Nordics x Reader) What they look for in a partner!

(Gender Neutral) Headcanons ~ A/N ty!! omg first nordics request! Be warned. I do not know these guys that in depth. So. theres that/. Also noirmally i wouldnt write minors but considering iceland is hundreds of years old and only physically 17 im making an exception

Trigger Warning: None, just Fluff!

Berwald is a man of few words, so he’d adore a S/O that can ramble on for hours and hours. It’s awkward when it’s quiet… and he’s not going to be the one breaking the silence.

Anyone who doesn’t find him intimidating would make him so happy! Even when he’s being arguably very scary… it’d break his heart to know his S/O was afraid of him.

If you value family as much as he does (which is a LOT,) he’d love that! He spends a lot of time with his family and would like to start one with you, so if you didn’t like family, that’d be a problem.

Weirdly enough, he prefers people that are more plain and average. At least on the outside. He’s quite bland himself (or at least, that’s how he sees himself) so he doesn’t want to have to match your energy.

Someone who’ll indulge him in his fixations. Who won’t ask too many questions when he goes on a week-long chair-making binge, barely coming out of his woodshop.

Tino is a surprisingly particular man when it comes to dedicating himself to a romantic partner. He’d want someone chill, not too talkative, but not too awkward. Someone whose soft and cuddly, but not afraid to stand up for themself.

He often misspeaks, so if his S/O was not forgiving and understanding of those kinds of things, that would make things difficult.

Like Sweden, family is very important to him! He visits with his own a lot, so he would love to do the same with his S/Os! If they have a difficult relationship with their family, he’ll understand, but it’ll still be hard for him to keep it out of his mind.

Someone who is positive! Constant sarcastic comments and debilitating remarks towards others just make him feel sad… 

He doesn’t like doing very exciting things often, so a partner who is very comfortable with nothing more than domesticity would be perfect! What else would you need besides a nice home and a cute garden to tend to with him?

Lukas… is not a skilled communicator. Whether he likes you or not is often unclear, and it’s difficult for him to think through what he’s going to say. So, all he needs is something that can put up with his anti-social behaviour, basically.

He often is at a loss for how to properly express his true feelings, so his S/O has to be comfortable with him randomly coming up to them and smothering them with physical affection. 

Someone who isn’t uncomfortable speaking up for the both of them. He’d adore an extroverted partner!

He prefers people that don’t require him to adjust himself too much… he has no aversion to changing for you, but he’d prefer a partner who isn’t… abject to his normal behaviour. He’s a thousand years old, you know? It’s hard to teach an old dog new tricks…

Anyone who enjoys impulsive decisions. Be prepared to be unprepared when he wakes you up at 2 am to get pancakes and drive across the country to see his family. But don’t worry, his impulsive decisions are always the more fun ones.

Emil would love someone who's a lot like him! A little immature, a little hot-headed, sarcastic, and absolutely awkward. He’s a very specific type of person, and he’d like a partner to be that type as well.

Someone whose sensitive and emotional would work well with him too. He finds it cute, plus he can relate. You’re just a little better at actually expressing his emotions, rather than bottling them all up.

Speaking of which, he’d prefer someone who isn’t too afraid to speak their mind. Someone who refuses to talk things through, preferring to just be passive-aggressive and non-confrontational, would just stress him out.

Anyone whose unique! He finds himself quite plain, so he would love getting into your interests. You’re both young, why not do fun impulsive things? He wouldn’t have the courage to do it without you anyway…

Oh boy. Mathias is not particular in the slightest way when it comes to partners. He would date anything or anything that can consent. Basically, if they haven’t killed anyone and you aren’t a complete asshole, he’ll love them.

Despite that, he still has a few preferences. He’d find someone who’s awkward and needy just absolutely adorable. Like he is absolutely ecstatic to be a “they asked for no pickles” boyfriend.

But getting along with someone super sensitive would also… not be easy. He can accidentally be a bit brash in his humour, so he’d love someone who just laughs along instead of taking it personally. If they’re bothered by his loud, sometimes crude, behaviour, it’d just break his heart!

He’d prefer a partner that trusts his judgment… more than they probably should. He can get stubborn, so if they aren’t also too stuck in their ways, that’d be for the best. 

Most importantly, he’d prefer a S/O that loves his family just as much as he does! They’re gonna have to spend a lot of time around them, after all.

[dark-and-kinky-hetalia-scenarios]

Hello! I was wondering if you can do the 2p Nordics with a fairy reader!

Hi! I did some general headcanons on this. Hope you enjoy it! And thank you, this was really fun to write! (I'm obsessed with the folklore of my country, and I went with the ones from there and the other Nordics)

2p Denmark/Markell Køhler

he's a bit cautious about the prospect of a fairy S/O. Considering he knows the fickle nature of these creatures.

while you may be very sweet and attractive he'll never really let his guard down. He knows of far too many instances where someone has been tricked

2p Finland/Thurston Väinämöinen

he knows of these beings too, but he absolutely does not enjoy it. It's not the magic that's his problem with you, it is your nature of trickery and misbehaviour. He wants structure and order not whatever bullshit you may attempt to pull

he may attempt to remove your wings if he feels they are more trouble than they are worth. If you follow his commands, he will not harm you. But if you misbehave he will punish you accordingly. You will also be forced to cultivate your muscles, so you are not weak without your flying abilities

2p Iceland/Erikur Steilsson 

he would be willing to follow you anywhere, and he'd have no qualms with staying in your home world for eternity, as long as you're completely his

he is, just like the others, knowledgeable about your kind, meaning that attempting to trick him would be difficult, but he would let you if it benefits him. Try to screw him over and you might not have any wings after that. His sickles are always close by, and he sharpens one regularly, the other is kept dull for maximum pain

2p Norway/Loki Thomassen 

it fascinates him, he does much like his counterpart, prefer a partner of magical descent or full blown magical being. He is also aware of the trickery of these creatures. But as his name might suggest, he is also a trickster by nature. It'll be a battle of wits, one he'll thoroughly enjoy

he will ofc attempt to trap you with him, and keep you from returning to your home, where he may not be able to follow. And if you managed to trick him into your home, it would be difficult for him to get both of you out. He is not interested in spending 100+ years in a world where it only feels like a few days.

2p Sweden/Bernard Oxenstierna

he gets overprotective very fast, and he'll be the only other one willing to follow you into your home, regardless of the consequences for him.

he is a yandere by nature and while he prefers to pretend to keep the "family" together, he would enjoy coming back to see the chaos that unfolds without him. He would also be difficult to keep trapped anywhere, he is violent when it suits him and intelligent. Many things you wouldn't know until you're trapped yourself