#hes the next sean bean

[streets-in-paradise]

Rare moment of Patroclus and Odysseus I have been wanting to screenshot for you for so long

[wp100]

whenever Sharpe looks like he's going to die, it's obvious he won't, because he's in the next 'xyz amount' of episodes LMAO.

[naturedust]

the next level of did you know viggo mortensen broke his toe when he kicked the helmet and is actually also screaming in pain there: did you know sean bean taped the script to his knee because they only gave him the script that morning and you can see him looking down when he says one does not simply walk into mordor

[luckyblackcatxiii]

SO WE FINALLY MET IREENA AND ISMARK....AND BY DAY ONE WE ALREADY LOVE THEM (and will die for them, Ireena especially). Which means I had to take time between commissions to make proper designs for them; bottom sketches are my first takes on them before getting a good grasp on their appearance.

Went with a traditional Romanian angle with their clothing--gee, I wonder why?--while trying to apply a touch of their own personalities mixed with Barovian drab. Our Ireena enjoys embroidery so I made it a point to add that to her design, as well as red accents to go with her hair and scarf. Ismark's is more serious and steeped in tradition which I think is befitting a man taking on the role of a village leader (whether he wants to accept such a responsibility or not).

I wanted Ireena to have a girl-next-door prettiness to her that matches her spunky, big sister attitude that ours has, while Ismark was based off our DM's vision of 'a young Sean Bean from a specific 90s TV series' mixed with aspects of his canonical portrait. Yes, the poor man is suffering from angst, lack of sleep, and a mullet (and awful unshaven hair).

[fandomnerd9602]

The One I Want

Laura Kinney x Spiderpool!Reader

For @deafeningsharkslimeempath

Do you know that one moment where you just feel like you screwed everything up spectacularly? well that happened to me rather recently. Oh sorry where are my manners? my name is (Y/N) (L/N) and on my world I’m known as the spectacularly annoying Spider-Pool. The spectacularly annoying part is debatable.

You see it all started when the TVA zapped me into the void, something about being an anomaly, a profane and unholy combination of both Spider-Man and Deadpool. Honestly, it’s just the best of both worlds in my book or it would be a book if I wasn’t more than just one panel in comic book of the spider verse. True story look it up.

Or it could’ve been the fact that I killed Jared Leto, oh not Morbius. I’m saying I literally killed Jared Leto. It was an accident. I thought I was going after Morbius but oh well.

To make a long story short, I was forced to team up with X-23 or Laura as she likes to be called. One of my all time favorite X-Men characters by the way!

Anyway we found ourselves at an agreement, if I got her back to her timeline and out of the Void she would help me do the same. A good deal all things considered. The only downside is the TVA is so flip floppy. I mean one show it’s the villain the next show it’s good? Fiege, please make up your mind about what the TVA is?!

“You’re sure this plan of ours will work?” Laura told me as we drove thru the woods towards the reported base of the resistance found in the Void.

“If it works, I’ll be happily back in my world by this time tomorrow, Fun Size” Laura’s eyes went wide and she slammed on the brakes, nearly sending me flying into the windshield.

“If?! What do you mean if?!” She was screaming at me. My mind could only formulate the truth. I thought truth telling was Captain America's problem?!

"The TVA are hunting me and I need to get back home to save my world." Oh yeah it all came out like a big old truth salad. A truth salad that you order from Pizza Hut and immediately regret.

Laura began screaming and banging her fists against the steering wheel, "Are you fucking kidding me?! Out of all the spider totems to get stuck in the Void with and I end up with you!"

Oh I knew exactly where this was heading. A teenage superhero such as myself could only baton down the hatches and listen as this beautiful teenage fighting machine chewed me out. How is this both the most embarrassing and fulfilling moment of my life?

"I end up with the biggest fuck up in the multiverse! A spider-deadpool equivalent that couldn't save his Aunt May or Uncle Ben. Twice!"

It's true. I even somehow got my universe's Sean Bean killed. Yes. That Sean Bean. He wasn't even playing my Uncle Ben or anything!

Laura continued her little tirade, "No wonder the Spider Society turned you down! And the Avengers too! You can't save anyone or anything. Your world hates you! The girls you were supposed to love hate you! Mary Jane couldn't stand you. Gwen probably enjoyed death more than you!"

I could feel the anger rising up in the pit of my heart.

"The greatest joke is that no matter how much you wish for death to be with Gwen, you can't die! And it's one of God's greatest jokes on us instead of you!!!"

I was left in stone cold utter silence. I could feel my vision beginning to turn as red as my outfit.

"What?! No witty comeback?!"

"I'm going to fight you now" was all that left my mouth. And you know what? I meant it. Every. Last. Fucking. Word.

"Oh are you-?" THWIP! I shot one of my web guns, a web flew right over her mouth. The anger immediately flared in her eyes. Next thing I knew she lunged at me, claws out.

She grabbed my head and slammed it several times against the car radio. I grabbed her and gently pushed her against the driver seat. Hey I may be in a fight for my life but I’d still never hurt a woman.

Laura took one of her claws and ran it over the web, cutting it. I really should have taken Fictional Chemistry to understand that admantium is stronger than webs.

“This is ridiculous! I can’t hurt a girl!”

“A girl can hurt you!” She retorted before driving her claws in my lungs.

I kicked her straight thru the windshield of the Odyssey and into the forest in front of us. She simply smirked and dove right back thru. I had to admire her tenacity and endurance.

That admiration was interrupted with the familiar feeling of Adamantium being driven straight thru me, over and over.

She began muttering something in Spanish. Sadly I didn’t have the subtitles on so I couldn’t exactly know what she was saying. My Spanish only goes as far as my name: la piscina de aranas.

I pinned her to the second row seats, which were flattened like my heart was after the dog’s death in John Wick.

Laura simply laughed and kicked me straight thru the roof of the Honda. I landed on the roof with a sickening thud and rolled off, hitting the forest floor.

Laura, ever the tease, looked at me thru the window and gave me a come at me signal. “I am a teenage superhero,” I found myself wondering, “how am I terrified and yet so turned on?”

I pulled out my punch daggers and dived right thru the side window.

We traded blows and slashes. She let out a few huffs and groans. She straddled me and begins driving her claws repeatedly, coating the interior with a lovely shade of my blood.

She paused and looked at me in concern, “is that a Glock in your pocket?!”

“I never keep a Glock in there” I laughed before pulling out another gun, “I keep a Desert Eagle!”

Blam! Blam! I fired off several shots at her, one of which hit her rib and the other hit one of her claws.

“That all you got?” She asked me thru gritted teeth.

I grabbed my web gun and shot off several shots, encasing one of her arms in a giant web. She cut right thru it and lunges at me again. She forced us into the remaining back third row. Yeah the Odyssey has three rows. Three rows of get your freak on.

Next thing I knew Laura was looking at me with those brown eyes of hers. It had a mixture of anger and... Wait what was that? Is that lust?!

Well I guess it was. Because the next thing I knew she was driving her claws into the sides of the seats to my left and my right and then she kissed me full on lip lock with teeth hitting mine lip lock. Holy Stan Lee!

Each little growl that escaped her mouth was like a bit of heaven, a symphony to my ears, and quite possibly a fear of hell.

“I…uhh…” my brain tried to comprehend the exact situation that I was going through. It was something so great and yet so terrifying and couldn’t help it intrigue me even more.

“You talk too much” was her only response before she continued her onslaught of kisses. And boy was she right.

She shoved me down onto the remaining back seat, her lips never leaving mine. I began rubbing little circles into her back as the Honda continued rocking back and forth.

It was night by the time we had worked thru all of our differences…and no we did not go any farther than a PG-13 would allow.

Laura nuzzled me, laying against my chest. We shared a bottle of Coke that we found earlier. I gotta admit, besides the whole trying to kill me thing, I could really see a long partnership with her. Both crime fighting and in private.

“I’m sorry” she whispered. “It’s not your fault. The TVA is just the worst.”

“Yeah” I agreed, “sorry I shot you with a Desert Eagle”

Laura simply smirked and held up the bullet before dropping it on the Honda’s floor. “I’ll help you get back home”

“I’ll make sure you have a home to get back to.” I smiled at her and gave her forehead a little kiss.

“Aww” a new voice broke the silence. Laura and I turned to see Deadpool and Wolverine staring at us from outside the Honda.

“Young love” Deadpool chimed in.

OK, so not exactly how I was expecting this whole date to go, but I gotta say turn out better than I thought it would. And what can I say the Honda Odyssey really fucks.

[archerdork]

it's been a decade but i'm still not over the insanity that is the movie Jupiter Ascending

spoilers ahead, but this movie was slammed when it was released. sitting pretty at a 27%/38% on rotten tomatoes, it was critiqued on essentially every single aspect by a large majority of viewers. almost everyone hated it. almost.

i can't speak for what the the wachowskis actually intended, but this movie is a homage to every 12 year old dreamer writing acidentally self insert stories with unrestrained enthusiasm.

the main character played by Mila Kunis is named Jupiter. no literally. Jupiter Jones.

movie opens with Jupiter living an uneventful, monotonous life. there's a montage of her waking up early, going to work as a house cleaner, waking up early, going to work as a house cleaner, repeat.

within 20 minutes of runtime she is about to be murdered by aliens but is saved bridal carry style by channing tatum rolling in on hover skates. yes exactly what you're picturing. he also has a laser gun that barks when he shoots it. no im not kidding.

channing tatum is a wolf man hybrid. his name is Caine Wise. yes, "dog man", exactly, his name is literally Dog Man. he has pointy ears. "bred for the military but that didn't work out for me". after he saves Jupiter, she is unconscious and wakes up with a gun next to her bc Caine "thought it would make her feel better". he is Guarded and Rough yet Kind and Gentle.

it is later in the movie revealed he used to have wings, pretty feather angel-wings looking wings, but they were ripped off because he broke the rules. he has scars on his back. it's all very man pain. the movie makes a poorly masked point of talking about how he's a wolf man without a pack while the camera is pointed at Jupiter.

Jupiter spends most of the movie alternating between fainting, being kidnapped and holding her own against people wanting to kill her. you know, she's Powerful and Cool and Kickass but also has hunky yet sensitive men saving her. at one point a man who planned to murder Jupiter insults her and Caine, pointing a gun at the guy, asks Jupiter "may i kill him" through his teeth but she says no so he doesn't. (she has a guard dog she literally has a guard dog im-).

she has several wardrob changes and she's either dressed in flannels, snassy space movie outfits or the most beautiful dresses you could imagine.

another character is Stinger Apini played by Sean Bean. he's a human honey bee hybrid. im still not joking. he gets little gold hexagon in his eyes sometimes. he uses "beeswax" as a swear.

while Caine and Stinger have a little "you betrayed me last time we saw each other" fight, a bunch of Stinger's bees start swarming Jupiter, following her movements like some kind of avatar water bending powers. this means she's royalty. because "bee's are genetically designed to recognize royalty" (sean bean says this with a completely straight face for which he deserves an award). Jupiter is space royalty. queen, to be exact. she's queen of a bunch of planets, including earth.

Jupiter Jones, normal human girl from a boring, monotonous life, is Queen of Earth.

she's one of the most important people in the universe and has a hot wolf man saving her at every turn. this movie was written for every little sensitive, creative child inside the heart of a adult clinging to their imagination and dreams.

the movie has about eight bad guys but oscar-winner and acclaimed actor eddie redmayne plays the top bad guy. eddie did this movie coming off the backs of Les Misérables and The Theory of Everything. i can only assume the casting director knew about a murder he’s committed and blackmailed him into doing this movie.

eddie's character name is Balem Abrasax (a fine, 'character name generator'-name) and he either whispers or blows out the speakers.

one hour into the movie it takes a break and does a 'space bureaucracy is like the DMV'-bit as Jupiter, with the help of a robot named Intergalactic Advocate Bob, tries to claim her title as queen. there's a montage where they are sent around to get documents so they can get other documents so they can get other documents only they can't get those documents before submitting the first document and-

jupiter gets a cool glowing tattoo on her wrist and then the movie jumps back into space opera and she's kidnapped and saved a few more times.

jupiter tries so hard to seduce Caine but he resist bc He's Broken and Dangerous and Does Not Deserve Her. the third act kicks off with Jupiter (the person) inside Jupiter (the planet) with Balem who will most certinly hurt her, so Stinger give Caine a pep talk about how much he loves Jupiter and he has to go save her.

mind, they've known each other for about two days and Jupiter has been kidnapped three times so they've only spent about half of that time together. but it's TRUE LOVE goddamnit. Caine looks like he's about to cry when Stinger tells him to go after the girl. then he sets his jaw very masculinely and proceed to fly a little spacecraft though the storm clouds dodging lightning

they kiss during the last fight, defeat the last bad guy and then movie cut to later. now Jupiter is waking up early and happily go about cleaning houses, only she pauses to look at the glowing tattoo on her wrist proving she owns Earth and after work she goes on a date with her wolf man boyfriend who got his wings back so now she uses the hover boots and they go flying together. the end.

movie has so many stupid little quips and bits and funny quotes. the amount of fanfic tropes used would kill you if you did a take a shot-game. it's so silly. so so silly. it's stupid and the pacing is atrocious and the dialouge is so campy it hurts sometimes and the action scenes are a mess of visual effects than nearly give you motion sickness and they are about ten minutes each which is nine minutes to long and i love this movie with all my heart.

it's the most comfort movie to ever comfort. it's little younger me sitting up at night dreaming up insane stories. it's younger me pretending to hoverboard alongside the car on long drives. it's wanting to feel special and loved and go on cool adventures. it's endless imagination wrapped up in a stupid little story with stupid little characters with stupid little names written with pure love for the child inside every creative person.

i will die defending this movie. go watch it

[hussyknee]

Made in the USA: Wage Theft, Fraud and Hidden Sweatshops

Unrolled twitter thread by derek guy (@dieworkwear)

4 Oct 24 • Read on X

ALT enabled on all images. Video has closed captions but is not transcribed.

Not trying to create a pile-on here. But let's talk about why something might still be made in unethical conditions even though it bears a "made in USA" tag. 🧵

The first thing to understand is that not all workers are covered by US labor laws. You might assume that workers get paid a minimum wage (after all, it says "minimum"). In fact, many garment workers in the US toil under what's known as the piecework system.

Piecework means you get paid not by the amount of time you work but the number of operations you complete. This system should be familiar to many of you. As a writer, I get paid per word. The pay is the same whether it takes me 100 or 10 hours to write a 1,000 word article.

My situation is fine bc I get paid enough to eat. But for a garment worker, the pay structure can be peanuts: three cents to sew a zipper or sleeve, five cents for a collar, and seven cents to prepare the top part of a skirt. These are real numbers for LA-based garment workers.

Piecework is how companies skirt minimum wage laws. Among labor organizers, the term "wage theft" refers to the difference between what a worker should have earned under min wage laws and what they actually earned through the piece rate system.

This system is incredibly common. A 2016 UCLA Labor Center study showed the median piece-rate worker in Los Angeles scrapes together $5.15 per hour—less than half the state’s mandated minimum wage. Labor conditions are also very bad: poor ventilation, dusty air, rats and mice.

A Federal Department of Labor investigation the same year found that 85 percent of Los Angeles garment factories were breaking labor laws. In 2016, these violations amounted to $1.3 million in back wages owed to 865 workers in a sample of 77 factories. This is wage theft.

In 2021, labor organizers won a fight to get piecework banned in California. But two years later, it's still incredibly common. I interviewed an LA-based garment worker who toils 12 hrs a day for $50. She sleeps in the corner of a kitchen. From my article in The Nation:

Currently, there's a new fight get piecework banned nationwide through the FABRC Act. I would link, but Twitter throttles threads that have outbound links, so I would prefer if you Google how you can support this legislation. Or follow @GarmentWorkerLA for more info.

The other reason why a "made in USA" tag may not mean much has to do with how the label is applied.

When you see this label inside your garment, what do you assume? Think about this before moving on to the next tweet.

The Federal Trade Commission has pretty strict rules on who gets to apply that label. For clothes, the item has to be cut and sewn in the US using materials that were made in the US. The FTC tries to match its rules with the common understanding of what "made in US" means.

If you're a giant company like Levi's or LL Bean, you may have lawyers who are advising you on these rules. This is why you see labels like "imported," which means the item was made abroad. Or "made in the US from imported materials" when they can't meet the MiUSA standard.

But it's incredibly common for companies to violate FTC rules. In 2022, the FTC fined the pro-Trump brand Lions Not Sheep $211k for labeling their t-shirts "made in USA" when the shirts were actually imported from China and other countries.

The company was basically importing blanks from China, ripping out the "made in China" label, screen printing the shirt in the US, and then applying a new screen-printed "made in US" label. CEO Sean Whalen claimed he was being persecuted for his pro-Trump views.

But the whole thing started bc Whalen made a video about how his customers are price sensitive, so he imports blanks from China. That's what kicked off the FTC investigation. So while this mislabeling is common, it's hard to get caught unless you make a video about your crimes.

The truth is that making a t-shirt in the USA according to FTC standards will result in a relatively expensive garment. Heddels and Velva Sheen both produce shirts in the US from US grown cotton. The first is $26; second is $90 for a two-pack.

Once you add things such as screenprinting—or if you want a more unique cut and not just basic blanks—the costs go up. This is why Bikers for Trump sourced their merch from Haiti. They knew their customers would not pay an extra $8 for true made-in-USA production.

Today, there are countless companies that make merch for other organizations. They source their t-shirts from a variety of places—some made in the US, most not—and then screenprint a design and fulfill orders. This way, the other org doesn't have to do any work but marketing.

When you see a screenprinted t-shirt for $20, ask yourself: Where was the material grown? Where were the yarns spun? Where was the cutting, sewing, and finishing performed? Where was the screenprinted done? What were the wages and labor conditions along these steps?

I'm not a nationalist, so I don't prioritize American jobs over foreign ones. But I do care about fair wages and labor protections. Just because something was made abroad doesn't mean it was made in a sweatshop. Just because it was made in the US doesn't mean fair wages.

Paying more for a garment is also no guarantee of ethical manufacturing. But when the price of a garment is so low, you leave little on the table for workers. Just because you see a $20 t-shirt that says "made in USA" doesn't mean it was made fairly.

Please don't harass the person who posted that original tweet. My intention is not to cause harm or stress for anyone. Only to help shed light on what goes into garment manufacturing, fair labor, and labeling. Hopefully, you will consider these issues when shopping.

For the inevitable question: "How do I make sure my clothes were made ethically?" This is very difficult to answer in a thread. My simplest answer is that we should elect pro-worker politicians, fight for pro-labor laws, and empower unions so workers can advocate for themselves.

--------------------End----------------------

TL; DR: Doesn't matter if it's the US, if it's not union it's probably a sweatshop. And not all merch is priced high because of fair labour conditions (looking at Taylor Swift and Beyoncé). Look for supply chain transparency.

[2kverrr]

SAM GIDDINGS || BESSIE'S BREWS

UNTIL DAWN || 8.9k Words

Bessie's Brews is a small, hidden café amongst many attached buildings on Fallings Place, safely nestled between a florist and an antique shop. For almost 40 years the cosy coffee spot has been a beloved local gem, cherished by residents and visitors alike. The charming exterior, adorned with creeping vines and hand-painted signs, beckons passers-by to step inside and escape the hustle and bustle of the outside world.

Your grandmother began the business way before you were brought into the world, even customers from the 70s still pop in for their afternoon tea of a Sunday.

Ever since you were little you've helped out in whatever way you can, the building became that of a second home to you. You've memorised everything, the tinkle of the bell above the door, the sharp tingle in your nose the first time you were allowed to handle the coffee beans, how the till has failed on you time and time again, but never seems to fail when tinging as it springs open.

You look forward to picking up your weekend shift all week at school, usually with your mother and cousin, who've been working there their entire lives as well.

"Sweetie, are you sure you two will be okay on your own? I can call in Bes-" Your mother calls as she finishes up starting the till and slides on her winter coat and scarf.

You assure her with a confident smile, "It's fine, we'll be perfectly fine," Your mother picks up on a shared conspiratorial glance between you and your cousin, to which she quirks an eyebrow, "I promise.”

With a satisfied nod, your mother finally relents and steps out into the crisp evening air, leaving you and your cousin alone in the café. You both share a knowing grin that ignites a spark of excitement; the café is yours for the next few hours.

"God, let's turn that ancient shit off," The brunette cheers, plugging his phone in and playing some old-school DnB, "Bessie's brew and bass, baby!”

The boy bops his head as you dry off a few mugs, lightly giggling at his antics, and through the framed stained glass you notice a regular smiling inwards. Wearing his stripy tie along with his casual double-breasted coat, his blinged-out walking stick pushed open the door, ringing the small bell hanging above, “Morning, you two! I see the shop is in good hands,” Sean says with a warm smile, his voice as familiar as the scent of coffee that lingers in the air.

You wipe your hands on a dish towel and return his greeting, eager to serve him his usual order—a steaming cup of your grandmother’s famous Earl Grey and a slice of homemade carrot cake.

As you hand his tea over the counter the bell rings again, routinely your eyes glance towards the door a blonde head of hair walking through the door, face covered with a scarf and a beanie.

"Looks beautiful, as does the barista." Sean smiles making you chuckle, he rummages through his pocket for loose change, "One mome-“

You grin with a tilt of your head, "On us, Sean. Jay will bring out your cake in a moment, fresh batch.”

"Oh, you're a good one, just like our Bess. Thank you, darling." And he shuffles his way over to his usual corner seat.

In a world of you're own, you don't notice the customer who walked through the door, leaning down in front of you as she examines the baked goods.

A pair of bright blue eyes finally meet your own, a moment spared to examine your face before she removes her outer garments and reveals a toothy smile. A smile you knew too well, that belonged to Sam Giddings, a pretty good friend of yours - well a friend of a friend.

"Sam? How are you?" You lean over the counter, glancing at the clock behind her that read 7:14, "You're up early.”

She grinned widely, her eyes sparkling with warmth. “I’m great! Just on my morning walk and thought I’d swing by for a something to warm me up.” Sam brushed her hair back, revealing golden hoops hanging from her ears that glimmered in the soft café light.

She scans the small business still holding a grin, "I've heard good things about this place. I didn't know you worked here!”

You can't help but feel a sense of pride swell within you. "It's a family business," you reply, glancing around at the familiar surroundings. The walls are adorned with quirky artwork by local artists and all memories dated for the past 30 years. "We make everything from scratch. My grandma’s recipes," you add, beaming.

Sam leans in closer as she inspects the display of pastries, her eyes lighting up at the sight of the freshly iced lemon drizzle cake and the rich chocolate brownies. "Everything looks amazing," she exclaims, her excitement infectious ", and might I say so do you, I think aprons might be your thing." She smirks.

You offer her a genuine smile as you ignore the blush swiftly racing up to your cheeks "What can I get for you, Ms Giddings?”

“Surprise me! I trust your judgment," she replies, her voice playful, and you immediately decide on a cappuccino alongside an apple turnover (specifically chosen because you'd made them the previous night).

The blonde eagerly watches your every move with focus as you craft her drink, steaming the milk just right, the froth rising to create a delicate heart atop the cappuccino. As you sprinkle a dash of cinnamon on top.

“There you go, one cappuccino and an apple turnover - that is currently a one-time special, and of course: made with love,” you say, placing the warm treat on the counter. Sam’s eyes widen with delight as she picks up the apple turnover, the crust perfectly flaky, glistening with a light dusting of sugar. “Wow, this looks incredible!” she remarks, her smile now as wide as her ears. “How much is it?”

"On the house.”

"Oh don't, just tell me.”

"It's good, Sam. You said I looked good in an apron, that's all the payment I need." You smile playfully as you smooth out the creases in said apron.

Her eyebrow quirks, mischief taking over her tone, "Oh, is that so-"

Interrupting your conversation, Jamie paces out of the back room, yellow rubber gloves dripping soapy water onto the floor behind the counter and he crosses his arms. "Who's wage is this one coming out of now, cuzzo?" He sasses, shooting a look at the two of you, and eventually over to Sean in the corner.

You sigh with a roll of your eyes. “Keep your gloves on, Jay. Nothing’s coming out of anybody’s wage," you respond, suppressing a giggle at his mock disapproving glare.

"As if. You just can't resist flirting, can you?" he retorts, feigning a dramatic sigh as he gestures to Sam. "Even old Sean'O over there, don't think I haven't heard about the dates he wants to take you on.”

All three of you turn your heads to the man, who contently continues to read his paper, oblivious to the conversation.

Jamie disappears back into the washroom, leaving you and Sam with each other, "It's rather quiet for a Saturday morning.”

“Stick around, Sam,” you propose, “We’re just getting started.”

|| - - - - - - - - - - -

Every Saturday morning, Sam makes her entrance shortly after Sean, she's soon introduced to your Mother and Bessie herself. And each visit, she'll order the same cappuccino with the same 'one-time only special' apple turnover (that you still insist on making the previous night just for the girl).

You'd never had the chance to get to know Sam so well, the two of you kind of just merely existed to each other outside of your friend group. In under two months, it felt as though she knew you better than yourself, and you couldn't quite pinpoint when it all started to shift. Maybe it was the way she laughed at your jokes, or how her eyes sparkled when she discussed her latest art project. With every cappuccino served and every apple turnover shared, a comfortable intimacy began to blossom.

As you pass in the hallway, you both spare an eager but subtle wave with a grin, the both two of you seeing Saturday mornings at Bessie's as your time, time to treasure and look forward to.

This morning was no different to any other, Sam strolled in with Sean about an hour before the rush hour with their arms linked.

“Hey there, Blondie,” you call out, your voice mingling playfulness with a hint of affection. Sam's head snapped up from the old man, her expression brightening even further as she saw you.

“Good Morning!” she replied, letting go of Sean’s arm and making her way toward the counter, her steps light and bouncy, as if she were floating. “How’s my favourite barista today?”

You glance around the café—Bessie’s is still waking up, the smell of fresh coffee beans wafting through the air, mingling with the sweet scent of pastries baking in the oven. “Just another day of slinging caffeine and baked goods. Can’t complain when I get to see your face,” you say, your heart lifting at the sight of her.

Sean, now carefully navigating a newspaper as if it were a map, chuckles softly at your exchange. “Looks like she’s more than a favourite, eh?” he teases, winking at you before disappearing into a corner booth. You could feel your cheeks heat up, though you quickly swipe it off with a playful eye-roll.

That was until Jamie walked in carrying a large amount of necessary supplies, an amount definitely more than he could handle.

"Well, maybe if my joke of a substitute manager spent less time flirting with every customer to walk through the door and actually helped, all this shit would've been moved 2 hours ago.”

"Well maybe if the bitching pot washer stopped knocking back all of the sugar sachets in the store cupboard, we wouldn't need to order any more boxes of them." You snap back with a roll of your eyes.

His face was a picture, a silent comedy of disbelief and paranoia as he retreated to the storeroom to begin some impromptu camera checks. It did make you wonder why you aren't paid more on his shifts.

Sam slowly sips on her drink, eyeing you as you tidy the counter with a damp cloth and some surface spray, in a complete world of your own.

Her eyes still followed your movements closely, and God could you feel it, it was off-putting but you didn't want it to stop.

You kept your eyes fixed on the counter, the damp cloth squeaking against the laminate as if the repetitive motion could somehow anchor you back to your cool, calm and collected state.

How long had it been? Couldn't be that long, her drink was still half-full. Your concept of time had gone completely out the window. Does it look weird that you're still cleaning this side? Shit, she looks like she's clocked on. Cool, calm, collected.

"So," The blonde began, her voice a low hum that vibrated through the space, "You're not usually this dedicated to the counter. Has Jamie really caught you out? Do you flirt with every customer you serve?" She mischievously questions with a tilt of her head and a sly grin.

The signals are mixing. They're weaving in and out of each other, knotting and knotting. And you've no clue where to start if you were to untangle them. You're unsure, is Sam coming onto you after your many attempts? Is she not freaked out? It seems like she likes it.

Okay, you've got this, cool, calm, collected and charming, piece of piss.

A nervous laugh bubbled up, though you managed to quickly smother it with a cough. "Dedicated is my middle name," you quipped, throwing the damp cloth to the side and leaning against the counter, mirroring her tilt with one of your own.

"Don't worry about Jamie, he just likes to be a windup. Besides," you added, a playful glint entering your eyes, "someone has to keep him in check. As for flirting with every customer? Only the ones with the best taste in coffee... and company." You let your gaze linger on her until it became uncomfortable for even yourself, you've never been one to back down from a challenge.

Sam's grin widened, a spark of amusement dancing in her eyes, a side of her you'd never seen before. At school she was the friendly face you'd pass in the corridors, not shy, but not overly confident. She'd rarely been heard of seeing anybody at school, or trying to, she stuck to our group of friends pretty much.

Seeing her speak and behave like this made something bubble in your chest, you've never felt this before.

"Is that so," She blinks slowly, "How about we take this company somewhere else? I'd hate to interrupt you flirting with any other customers.”

You quirk an eyebrow, giving her a slow nod to continue, "You're going to Matt's- Well, Emily's party at Matt's house later this week, aren't you? How about we hang out before?" She suggests, and only now do you see a slither of hopefulness and nerves.

You just stare into her eyes, malfunctioning for a few seconds so you can process her invitation before you combust.

Looking into her eyes sends you into a whirlpool of emotions, a refreshing sight you look forward to. It was intoxicating.

This wasn't the Sam you knew from the school hallways, the one who offered a polite smile and a quick "hey" as she navigated the crowds. The girl who sat in the background when with your friends, a hidden treasure you wish you'd discovered sooner.

This Sam was sharper, more confident, with an undercurrent of something thrillingly new. Nobody you've met has ever compared to this. You weren't sure what to say, the usual cocky banter you used with everyone else felt inadequate, almost childish.

You're definitely not joking with Sam.

"That's of course... um- if you're not too busy on any other dat- things. You know, since you're wooing every customer.”

Finally, she cracked, now you can proceed with acting like a normal human being. "Busy?" you echoed, tilting your head slightly as if considering the possibility; the question came out as a challenge to her, "There's no one I'd rather spend the time with." The words left your mouth before you could censor them and you let them hang in the air, out to dry in your attempt to lay your cards out on the table.

Worry vanished from her face and refilled with relief as she stood up from her seat, "I'll message you later," Sliding on her coat, she paused and stared longingly into your eyes. Neither of you dared to look away, neither of you wanted to in fear you'd waste a single moment away from each other.

"I'll see you soon, Sam" You bid goodbye as much as you hated to do so.

The blonde showed a small smile, she looked timid, which was interestingly contrasted with her previous behaviour. "Bye." She nods, turning away and pushing her way through the door, the small ding of the bell knocking you back to reality, back to work.

|| - - - - - - - - - - -

SAM: Heyy, thought we could meet up after last period. (7:32)

SAM: Mr Peters usually lets us leave early so I could meet you outside your class. (8.23)

YOU: Sounds good, think i should be in room 21. Don't get lost on your way, Giddings ;)

SAM: Wouldn't dream of it sweetie.

Your phone remains in your hand with a smile you couldn't keep to yourself, grinning like a lovesick schoolgirl as you throw a top over your head, your eyes unable to detach themselves from the screen.

“Sweetie?” The word echoed, throughout your shell of a mind, repeating non-stop.

By the time you'd bid your mother goodbye and left your house, you were already 20 minutes late to your first period. Your usual morning routine had gone out of the window and everything was out of place, the only thing you're sure of is that your clothes are in your bag and that you have maths in room 21 last, everything else was clouded with the thought of one Sam Giddings.

ping, ping... ping-ping.

Ignoring the notifications, you neared the school's entrance, driving through the gates and scanning for your usual spot.

Your back pocket vibrates a number of times, so you slide it out and give it a quick check, your eyes widening at the flood of notifications, you didn't even take in who all these were from as you struggled to comprehend the unnecessary amount of messages. Christ, had somebody died or something?

Nope. Just Emily. And a whole lot of her.

The screen was practically vibrating with her trademark 'eye roll' energy, every message a string of breathless words and exclamation points, even some angry-looking emojis.

You sigh, opening the text and scrolling up to see where you'd left off.

EMILY: that fucking bitch! she's just viewed my profile again!

YOU: lord, let's get her shot.

EMILY: no, she went active, immediately viewed my profile, clearly scrolled through ALL of my posts, completely copied my "be the change you mean to see" post from 5 months ago then just logged off!

EMILY: and then she has the audacity to view my profile to check for any retaliation - i mean how pathetic can you get?

YOU: right, i'm going to sleep, feel free to continue yapping but do be warned, you're muted for the next 12 hours.

Wow, is she still going? That was the last message you'd sent. Normally Em just shuts up and writes it all in her little pink diary, 'my 'bestfriend' is such a bitch, but you know who's a bigger bitch??...'

Something along those lines.

You continue to read the next couple of texts, just after you'd switched your phone off and gone to sleep. Each message read aloud in your head in your best Emily voice.

EMILY: god you're like an abusive boyfriend

EMILY: speaking of, jess is currently obsessed over ex-boyfriend arson aaron, you know the one that dropped his cigarette out of a care home and lit their flower bed on fire. what a fucking freak

EMILY: please come back

EMILY: haha i sound like jess

EMILY: if you're reading this, i know you laughed at that ;)

To be honest, you did giggle at that, as high-maintenance as Emily is, she doesn't fail to make you laugh.

There were way more than just 5 messages, it's getting a bit concerning now, what if Emily was getting kidnapped and you were the person she trusted to get her out of it? What are you on about, nobody would want to kidnap Emily Davis.

The next few messages are from earlier this morning, you must've missed them when Sam was occupying your phone, mind and heart.

EMILY: i'll wait out in front of the store by the sushi place

EMILY: oh and don't forget that hairbrush and lipgloss i left at yours

Oh shit, you were meant to pick her up at 7:50 this morning and take her with you to school. And when it comes to Emily, 7:50 means 7:35 on the dot. It's currently 8:39.

Oops.

Nice one, you're late to school, plus your best friend will be on the warpath for the next month.

Opening your passenger glovebox, you search for either a hairbrush or lipgloss to soothe the pain with the dark-haired girl, and just your luck - nada.

You didn't even want the look at the rest of the messages out of guilt, but you forced yourself to since you couldn't bring yourself to get out of the car and walk into your and Emily's first class.

EMILY: i'm here a little early (7:30)

EMILY: okay so i'm just texting you to look busy, please hurry up i look so awkward.

EMILY: you're officially late to pick me up, i'll give you 5 then i start walking

EMILY: ok fine. i guess i'll just WALK to school, and if that isn't bad enough, i'll walk ALONE

EMILY: you CUNT

You really prefer Sam's messages, being called 'sweetie' is slightly better than ‘cunt'.

The guilt punched you square in the jaw, and rattled you like a bell, now you really didn't want to face her. Emily didn't tend to trust much, she isn't like Jessica.

Jess was friendly, if anything she was over-friendly. She didn't have that resting 'get-the-fuck-away-from-me' face that Emily wears so well. In short words, the guys see Jess as easy and Emily as stand-offish.

You rarely let her down and had never seen the consequences.

EMILY: just so you know i luckily haven't been kidnapped (fyi if i was, i'd leave note blaming it all on you)

EMILY: oh look, the sky is blue and I walked to school. completely on my own. like a poor, abandoned orphan

EMILY: don't worry i won't burden you anymore as it seems that's all i am, just wanted to lyk that your favourite mascara is going in the trash

Your guilt slowly washes away as you notice her pettiness creep in.

Your head bangs on the steering wheel and rests there on the hard leather. You'd fucked it.

You lift your head out and just stare at the message box, do you profusely apologise? Threaten her? Disappear off the face of the earth? Yeah, that last one sounds good.

Your fingers hover, should you mention Sam? She did postpone your morning slightly, but then it's just something for her to tease you with. She was already volatile this morning, no need to further complicate it with the mention of prioritising somebody else.

YOU: em, i'm so sorry, you were still muted by the time i woke up (which was very late if it makes things any better). I've just parked up and about to make my way to class.

You waited a solid 8 seconds before huffing, seeing she'd not read the message you moved on to your fourth unspoken option.

YOU: I'll buy you that ridiculously expensive iced coffee you always crave 4 period. And maybe we could go and retrieve my mascara from the trash before it gets contaminated with... trash can juice?"

|| - - - - - - - - - - -

You slowly saunter through the door to your English class, there could only be about 15 minutes left of the lesson, but you wanted to catch Em early.

You scanned the room, immediately spotting Emily, facing the front from the back row, the rigid set of her shoulders a silent declaration of her displeasure. She was pointedly ignoring the open textbook in front of her, instead tracing patterns on the desk with her fingertip. 

A few heads turned as you entered, but most were engrossed in whatever Mr. Harrison was droning on about. You slid into the empty seat beside Emily, close enough to feel the heat rolling off her like a furnace, far enough to avoid being physically assaulted. You could practically see the cartoonish steam billowing from her ears. She didn’t turn her head, didn’t acknowledge your presence beyond a slight stiffening of her spine.

You fiddle your thumbs timidly, "Um, good morning." You mutter, daring to look at the side of her head.

She just snorts, like that of a bull, "Total fucking bitch." You know she doesn't really mean it, in most cases, Emily just loves to be angry at something... or someone.

It was a tightrope walk with Emily, knowing precisely when to placate and when to simply let her rage burn itself out. You decide to go for a gentler approach, opting for a playful nudge on her arm, a move that usually elicits at least a minimal reaction.

"You know, you're the only person that can make 'good morning' sound like a death threat," you say, your voice a soft murmur decorated with a light smile.

Emily's jaw tightened further, a muscle in her cheek twitching, but she didn't bite your head off. Progress. "Maybe because it is a death threat, coming from you," she grumbled, her voice dangerously low. "Slept in, ignored my texts, left me completely on my own in a parking lot, probably forgot I even existed.”

A sigh escapes your mouth as the girl recalls everything you had done, "I didn't forget you, Em," you whisper, ", you were muted on my phone until I parked up, I- I'm just really sorry.”

But there was no response - looks like you'll have to remind her of your bargain.

"And the iced coffee offer is still on the table, plus whatever else you want. My treat." You raise your eyebrows, "And forget about the mascara, we can leave it.”

A flicker of something akin to interest sparked in her eyes, though she resolutely kept her gaze fixed on the desk. Her finger stopped its restless tracing, a subtle shift in her posture indicating that perhaps, just perhaps, she was willing to consider a truce.

It was a small victory, but a victory nonetheless.

"Fine," she conceded, her voice still gruff but with a hint of the teasing sarcasm that you knew so well, "but this doesn't get you off the hook. You're still the biggest pain in my ass, you know."

|| - - - - - - - - - - -

The final period at last. You'd never experienced a day this long... or this expensive.

Emily sits beside you in your maths class, performing an over-exaggerated slurp, she'd been doing it since you bought it her at the end of lunch, loud and long slurps from her 9$ iced coffee.

You felt like you'd aged ten years in the span of a single school day, but it was all worth it, Emily went back to gossiping about anybody that walked into her line of view and getting your opinion on her online basket of clothes.

Your mind had been all over the place, finally, you could set it straight, maybe answer a question or two in the lesson, make sure you haven't missed any other messages, anything that Emily had disrupted.

Time passed, and you intensely stared at the clock, each minute passing like an hour.

"Are you even listening to me?" Emily asked, her voice laced with a playful annoyance that warmed you slightly. You had been staring blankly at the ticking second-hand, and you know that she'd been recounting stories of her weekend. "I was just thinking about the quadratic formula, you know, the one with negative 'b' plus or minus the square root and... oh who am I kidding, I was talking about Matt's party, well it's mine really but- you know what I mean.”

"Oh shit, yeah. I forgot about that." Your eyes widen, 10 minutes until the end of the lesson you briefly check, "What are you going to wear?”

Emily's eyes lit up at the question, the storm cloud of her earlier mood seemingly banished by the promise of party attire. "Okay, so, I was thinking... either the black dress, you know, the one with the slit? Or maybe I should go for the blue top and those leather pants? Or, plot twist, what if I actually wore the skirt, the little one? I know, I know," she cut herself off, a dramatic hand flying to her chest, "It's scandalous, but also, fabulous, right?”

She holds her gaze on you, awaiting your verdict, "You do you, I'm sure you'll look great, Em.”

Emily narrowed her eyes, a playful smirk tugging at the corner of her lips. "You're being suspiciously agreeable," she said, her tone laced with suspicion. "Trying to butter me up so I forget about your morning sins? Don't think I haven't noticed you conveniently sidestepping the mention of why you were late. Was it another Josh situation?" Her voice dipped conspiratorially.

You stayed silent, very very awkwardly. You don't want to give her the wrong idea... nor the right idea.

Josh had been interested in you for a pretty long while. 2 years maybe?

You tried it once and dated for about 5 months but it led nowhere. He's a sweet boy, real sweet - but it wasn't for you.

"Whatever, I'm onto you honey," She tilts her head, "I will find out.”

Her eyes don't detach from you, it's unsettling and concerning because you're sure she hasn't blinked for 30 seconds, that was until the bell rung and the students surrounding you began to stand up and disperse, that was when her eyes left you and instead turned to the door.

"Oh, hey Sammy, what're you doing here?" Emily greeted the blonde who stood leant up against the doorframe.

She smiled brightly, offering a quick wave to the dark-haired girl beside you, "Hey, I messaged little ol' barista this morning, you still okay to get ready at mine?”

No. No no no no. This could not be happening, your face froze as you watched Emily's drop. You're in such deep shit. Glancing back to Sam, her face contorts into a look of confusion at the silence hung in the air.

"Oh." Emily nods slowly, turning her head to you even slower, even the teacher had left at this point, just the three of you alone, "I see how it is, you have time to message 'pumpkin spiced latte' over here while you leave me alone and abandoned in the middle of nowhere!”

Your eyes burn holes into the table in front of you, "Like I said, Em, you were muted and I woke up late.”

"Muted?" Emily's voice dripped with sarcasm, each syllable a carefully placed dagger.

"Muted so you could 'bestie' with her in peace, no doubt. Don't even try to deny it, you were probably swapping heart emojis while I was being kidnapped by the parking lot predators!”

Her eyes darted between you and Sam, clearly piecing together the fragments of a narrative that perfectly confirmed her suspicions.

You place your hand further towards her on the table, leaning in cautiously, "Emily, be so for real, you were not kidnapped, Sam and I made these plans days ago and you're seeing Matt soon any-“

You're harshly interrupted, "I don't care." It's brash and quite painful, you'd just made up with her now look at you again.

Silence.

"You know I'm really sorry, Emily. I never meant to forget about you this morning and I promise I'll properly make it up to you.”

She quickly packs up all of her things and stands up, "Whatever - I'll see you later, whore." And she leaves the room, brushing past Sam without another word.

Sam huffs, "God, what's up her ass?"

|| - - - - - - - - - - -

Sam's room spoke volumes, it was just so... her. Photos of her friends and family, animals and a corkboard full of odd tickets and notes. A half-finished sketchbook lay open on the desk, filled with a few sketches of random creatures, items and abstract patterns.

You spent the couple of hours you had after school getting ready, helping each other out with hair and makeup, Sam even let you borrow one of her hairclips. Yeah, she's not getting that back.

You're lying down on your stomach on Sam's bed, facing the girl with your hands holding your head up.

As Sam delicately applied eyeliner in the mirror, humming a tune under her breath, you couldn't help but feel a sense of calm wash over you. It had been a long, confusing day, and the comfortable silence between you and Sam was a much-needed balm.

You watched her, a small smile playing on your lips, appreciating the effortless way she moved, her easygoing nature a constant source of envy. You admired how she could be so unflappable, even after Emily's dramatic exit.

"You know," you began, your voice soft, "This is the highlight of my day - I don't think I want to face Em again today."

She glances at you through the mirror, smirking lightly, "She'll live." And she continues the delicate task of applying her eyeliner, eventually placing it down and making her way over to the bed.

Resting back on her arms, she looks at you, "One question though," You nod in return and she furrows her eyebrows, confused or deeply thinking about whatever she's going to say next, "What did she mean by 'pumpkin spiced latte bitch'?"

You couldn't control your laughter, rolling onto your back holding onto your belly. "Oh, that," you managed, still chuckling.

She lightly punches your arm, patiently waiting for your answer, "Hey! I wanna' know!"

But as you continue to laugh she grows less and less patient, shoving and pushing you, "Sam, I've got to give her credit, she's a bitch, but that was really funny." You speak, calming down.

"She's basically calling you a basic bitch, Sam."

"Oh," Sam replies, her brow still furrowed, a hint of amusement starting to tug at the corner of her lips. "So, I'm basic now, huh?" She reaches over and grabs one of the throw pillows from her bed, playfully holding it up like a shield.

She throws it gently at you, and you catch it, returning the playful gesture with a mock pout. "I wouldn't say 'basic'," you say, getting up from the bed and placing the pillow back, facing her. "More like 'popularly pleasing and undeniably charming'." She raises an eyebrow at your ridiculous explanation.

"She's just jealous of you Sambo. Take no notice."

"Popularly pleasing? Oh, you're such a smooth talker." She leans forward, her eyes sparkling with amusement.

You giggle, "What? This just comes naturally when talking to you, would you rather me cuss you out, ho?" You kneel back down onto the edge of the bed.

"Only if you mean it with the utmost affection, bitch," Sam shot back, her grin widening.

God, you can't drag your eyes away from her, it's simply impossible. You found yourself completely absorbed in the moment, basking in the warmth of her presence, the late afternoon light filtering through the window casting a golden glow on her features. You studied the way she laughed, the way her eyes crinkled at the corners, a genuine and unguarded expression that made your heart feel a little lighter.

Jamie would call it 'pussywhipped' and rip you to shreds for acting like this, but you really don't care. You just want to stay like this forever.

But a party awaits, and you've never been one to miss out on a party.

|| - - - - - - - - - - -

Sam only lives a street down from Matt, so the walk was over quick. You just wanted the Emily greeting over and done with and straight to the drinks.

Music pulsed from the open windows, a mix of bass and laughter spilling out onto the street. You could already feel the party's pull to you.

Sam knocks on the door a few times, to both of your surprise, Mike swung the door open with a wide, wonky smile, "Hey girls!" He slurs, moving to the side letting you through, he clearly must've had one too many pre-drinks.

He leads us to the living room, chatting his head off about the party, there're quite a few here, more than you were expecting. But really, it's Em's party she invites people she despises and their friends.

You soon eye the counter full of drinks, excusing yourself and heading straight towards them. A shot glass rested besides the bottles, on its one, no other cup in sight.

Grabbing the lone glass, you fill it with the nearest bottle labelled over 30% and begin pouring then shotting, you managed to get away with 3 shots before Sam appeared, clearly hot on your heels.

"You not going to pour me one?" She quirks an eyebrow.

You just smile to yourself, concentrating on pouring the drink into the the glass, "Here you go party-girl."

Right down the hatch, you don't think you'd ever seen Sam drink before, but this is the exact wild side you love so much.

As the drinks went down, the music got louder, the crowd got fuller and you and Sam found yourselves somewhat looser as you dance together. Somewhere along the way Josh, Hannah and Mike had joined in the mix, bopping their heads and waving their arms.

For a fraction of a second you see somebody, alone, but soon walking away.

'blue top and those leather pants? Or, plot twist, what if I actually wore the skirt, the little one'

The outfit matched the person, maybe you could patch things up, no better time than the present.

You shuffle your body through the mass of bodies and flashing lights, catching a glimpse of the retreating figure heading towards the back of the house, perhaps the garden. You stumble as you try to follow her, a supporting hand pushing you along the wall, you could feel the air getting fresher as you get closer to the open door.

You poke your head out, nobody on the left - Wow, this air feels so good.

"Are you lost?" A sharp voice calls, making you jump slightly. She's leaning against the brick wall, arms crossed, a slight smirk playing on her lips as she pulls the cigarette from them.

You sloppily raise your eyebrows, your head moving along with them loosely, "No, no. Can I sit?" You're only returned with a brief nod.

You slowly plant yourself onto the wooden step next to Emily, "I am really sorry. I hope this doesn't break our trust, Em. You are a really good friend," You whine, head lolling side to side with your words, but she doesn't respond, she just stares at you, "Oh, and I did laugh at that message, about Jess."

"And Pumpkin Spice, that was funny too." You add, but she just stomps out her cigarette and crosses her arms, "Em, can you please speak - my voice keeps on echoing in my head and I'm not sure whether its you or me."

"God you're a mess," She finally looks at your face as you massage your temples, "Okay, I'm about to do something and we're never going to speak about it ever again."

Your head perks up, but you didn't even get the chance you respond before she threw her arms around you, hiding her face in your arm, "Oh my God, I'm so sorry, i've missed you so much. I wasn't even that mad I just haven't been angry with you out of all of our friends - and that's like a stepping stone for me... and you're not a whore" She weeps a hundred mile an hour.

It seems she was just as much of a mess as you.

"Actually, that's a lie, I was pissed this morning - but that doesn't matter." She slurs, "Please still be my friend."

You squeeze her back, "Of course, Emily." Her breath smells exactly like the drink you and Sam had shared, at least your on the same page in more ways than one, "Wow, I'm hearing triple," you managed to slur out, your words thick and heavy.

Emily remained in your embrace, her eyes wide and a little watery. "Triple?" she giggled, a sound that was both familiar and somehow foreign given the circumstances.

Attempting to move away from the girls hold, you're immediately pull back tighter, "Stop. If I move, I throw up." She mumbles into your shoulder.

"No, Em, I think if we stay like this, I might throw up." You detach yourself frantically, standing up and offering your hand out to the Mathlete.

"One last thing," She pauses, "Is there something going on with Josh? I tried to find out but nothing came around.'

You shake your head with a sigh, lightly pressing your lips together but not answering.

"Oh, okay." She takes a couple deep breathes before taking your hand, you stroll throughout the house back into the living room, picking up a fruity looking drink on the way.

The party is slightly more relaxed, more people sitting down, Jess and Mike are basically lap dancing one another in the middle of the room, Matt and the Washington sisters chatting, Chris stared at Ashley from across the room as Sam attempts to hold a conversation with him.

Emily's eyes narrowed, following the sloppy movements of Mike and Jess with a distaste that could curdle milk. "Look at them," she hissed, her voice a low growl, "practically humping on the floor. Honestly, have they no shame?" She rolled her eyes dramatically, a gesture that somehow didn't feel as performative as it usually did. "And the way he's laughing, like a hyena with a drinking problem. It's pathetic."

You continued scanning the room, only half listening to whatever Emily was on about - offering her a nod, hum or a "bitch" every few seconds.

Unknown to you, as Emily complained away, a tall figure made their way over and stood in front of the two of you. "Hey party people!" Josh cheers, his voice booming slightly louder than necessary, effectively cutting through Emily's rant about Mike and Jess.

"Hey Josh," you managed, your voice still thick with the effects of the alcohol.

He grinned back, seemingly oblivious to the tension radiating from Emily, and draped an arm casually over your shoulder, “Having fun?” He asked, his gaze flickering between you and Emily.

Emily just scoffed, turning her nose up at Josh, “What do you want?” She spat, not hiding her animosity,

Josh, although taken aback by her sharp tone, didn't back down. He held his ground, his smile still in place. "Just checking in on my favourite people,” he shrugged, a touch of playful sarcasm in his voice, before winking at you. 

Ugh, you want to throw up so bad. Is he really still trying it on with you? You couldn't even fake a smile now, his weight dipped onto you as a result of his alcohol intake and his breathe reeked of something strong.

Josh’s wink, intended to be charming, felt more like a taunt, a reminder of a past relationship that hadn't quite settled into the comfortable territory of 'just friends'.

You really didn't want to be stuck in the middle between them right now, but you were too drunk to even think, let alone move. “Well, aren’t we special?” Emily huffed, crossing her arms tightly across her chest.

You could feel his breath on your cheek, a potent mix of cheap beer and something you couldn't quite place. You desperately wanted to escape, go somewhere quiet with Sam and just talk, literally do anything besides this.

"So..." He drags with a sloppy grin on his face, "You two are looking cute as ever."

You could feel Emily's eye roll without even looking at her, "Oh my God, somebody kill me." She mutters just loud enough for you to hear though Josh was oblivious.

The cogs in Josh's head were turning as it became evident on his face, eyes zoning out and a smirk slowly forming.

"Maybe we could... you know..." he trailed off, his eyes locking onto yours, a drunken hope glimmering in their depths that switched between you and your friend. He wiggles his eyebrows to the both of you and bites his lip.

You knew what he was going to say, something about 'getting back together' or 'seeing where things go'.

Oh how wrong you were.

Looking for a possible exit, you spot a certain blonde making her way towards you, you make a promise to yourself that if she gets you out of this mess, you'd owe her your life.

She looked so beautiful, her golden hair catching the light in all the right ways, radiantly smiling as she approaches.

Though Emily is a lot less concerned about an exit and more fussed about Josh, "Did you just ask for a threesome Josh!"

You were so focused on Sam you pitched out of the conversation, unaware on what Emily and Josh were talking about.

"Wait, what?" Your eyes widen, diverting from Sam and back to Josh. "What the fuck!"

Your jaw dropped, a mix of disgust and disbelief warring within you. It was so out of pocket, sure he couldn't see straight and has had more shots than you have hot meals, but you did not expect this.

You could practically see the steam rising from her ears as she glared at Josh, who was now sporting a sheepish, almost innocent expression, like a toddler caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Sam's arrival was almost biblical, an angel descending from the heavens, although she was probably unaware of the shit storm she just entered.

"Okay, I'm just gonna-" You carefully remove his arm from you and lean him up against the wall behind you, "There you go, it's a no from me. A 100% no, Josh."

Sam had seem to have caught onto the situation, her smile turning crooked and her eyebrows furrowing in concern. She extends a friendly hand that you immediately take, shuffling your way through the crowd.

As you pushed your way through the edges of the party, you could still feel the weight of Josh's gaze, heavy and lingering as he mumbled something about it being a joke, but the buzz of the crowd drowned him out.

The last thing you heard before you left the house was Emily's voice, "Can you fucking believe him?"

The blonde led you onto a bench placed on Matt's porch, the sky was dark and cold, but it didn't bother you. Settled onto the porch bench, a sense of quiet descended, Sam still hadn't let go of your hand, only looking ahead of her. You glanced at her, your stomach flipping when you noticed how the moonlight illuminated her face, highlighting the soft curve of her cheek and the slight furrowing of her brow as she gazed into the distance.

You broke the silence, as much as you didn't want to you also didn't want Sam to overthink it too much, "I mean, it's a little bit funny, don't you think?"

She hums quietly, "A little bit, I guess." Sighing, she turns to look at you, "He was talking about earlier today."

"He was talking about having a three-way with me and Emily earli-" You repeat, confused as to what she's leading onto.

"No, not that. He was telling me how he was going to 'win you back', wink, charm, remind you how you're made for one another." You scoff amusedly, letting her continue, "I wasn't nice to listen to, you know."

You glance at her, an eyebrow raised with a small tilt of your head.

Her head drops, all of a sudden focused on her lap, looking slightly nervous or timid. She picks at a loose thread on her cardigan, her gaze fixed on her free hand, "I kind of... told him that was a terrible idea." A small smile tugs at the corner of her lips as she admits this, a blush faintly colouring her cheeks. "Because... I really wanted to do it."

Sam, the girl who always seemed to effortlessly radiate confidence, was now a nervous bundle of fidgeting fingers and hesitant glances.

"I couldn't let him ruin our night... our... well, you know." She trailed off, her cheeks flushing a deeper shade of pink, which only seemed to highlight how stunning she really was. She sighs, "Whatever this is."

You mentally scold yourself for not responding, but words just can't form. Your thumb swipes over her hand as a substitute for your lack of words.

"You've still got time to- you know, do a better job than Josh." You suggest, trying to stop your smile from beaming, looking at the blonde through your eyelashes.

A soft giggle escaped Sam's lips, finally meeting your gaze, her eyes sparkling with a mixture of nervousness and something else, something that made your heart flutter. "Oh, is that a challenge?" she teased, her voice a low, melodic hum that sent shivers down your spine. The hand still engulfed in hers tightened slightly, a silent question lingering in the air. "Because I'm pretty sure I could do a much better job than that moron."

Her eyes flickered down to your intertwined hands before darting back up to meet your gaze. "I mean," she continued, a bashful smile playing on her lips, "I've been wanting to... well, to do this for a while now."

"Well," you finally managed, your voice a little breathless, "I wouldn't want to deprive you of the opportunity, would I?"

"So, what are you waiting for?"

She leaned closer, her free hand rising to cup your cheek, the touch sending a jolt of electricity through your skin. Her thumb brushing lightly against your skin, sending a wave of warmth through you. Her gaze dropped to your lips for a brief, tantalising moment before returning to your eyes.

As she leaned in, your eyes fluttered shut, the anticipation building to a fever pitch. Her soft breath fanned against your lips, and a million stars seemed to explode behind your eyelids.

The gentle pressure of her lips against yours was a sweet shock, a soft meeting that sent your head spinning. It was different than any kiss you had had before, not rushed or desperate, but patient and tender, like she was savouring the moment. Your hand instinctively moved to cup her face, feeling the soft curve of her cheek, deepening the connection between you.

When you finally broke apart, a breathless hum hung in the air, thick with unspoken words and a thrilling anticipation for what would come next.

"You're a lot better than Josh." You giggle, only earning an eye roll in return.

"Let's not mention that name, please."

Her lips found yours again, this time with a little more urgency, as if reclaiming a space that was rightfully hers. The kiss deepened, her tongue tracing the seam of your lips before sliding in, a spark igniting between you both.

You could feel her smile against your lips, a hand on your waist and another resting on the back of your neck. There was only the sensation of her lips, warm and intoxicating, and the soft press of her body against yours. Every touch sent a shiver of delight down your spine, and you found yourself wanting more, needing more. You tangled your fingers in her hair, pulling her closer, trying to etch this moment into your memory.

The moon above watched, an accomplice to the scene unfolding on Matt's porch, as you and Sam kissed, the world fading into a blur.

"What. The. Fuck." A voice speaks, instantly the two of you break apart a blush creeping up your neck as you turned to see Emily standing at the edge of the porch, her eyes wide and bewildered. Her jaw was slack, a half-chewed pizza slice dangling precariously from her hand. "Sorry, am I interrupting something?" The girl questions, without the intent to get an answer.

"Uh, no, no interrupting. Just, uh… catching up?" You managed, the words sounding weak even to your own ears.

You glanced at Sam, hoping she'd pick up the slack, but her eyes were glued to Emily, panic flickering across her face. The moment stretched on, thick and uncomfortable, filled with unspoken questions and lingering sensations.

Emily, still looking dumbfounded, finally broke the silence with a strangled laugh, a sound that was half-amused, half-agonised. "Right," she said, shaking her head slowly, a mischievous glint in her eyes, "catching up. Got it."

She took a large bite of her pizza, the chewing perhaps a way of processing what she'd just witnessed. "Well, don't let me stop you from... catching up more." She wiggled her eyebrows, before turning and walking back towards the house. "I'll just... leave you two to it."

|| - - - - - - - - - - -

"So, I'm assuming you and Emily made up." Sam questions, brushing out her hair and placing a large clip in it.

You nod, massaging in between your eyebrows, "We had a bit of a heart to heart an hour or two into the party."

Sam walks around the bed, sliding in next to you, "A heart to heart, huh?" Sam teased, a playful glint in her eyes as she settled beside you, the bed dipping slightly with her weight. She leaned close, her arm brushing against yours, sending another wave of warmth through you, that familiar flutter returning to your chest. "Was it filled with dramatic declarations of friendship, perhaps a tearful 'I'll never let another man come between us' moment?"

You chuckled, shaking your head. "More like an 'I'm sorry I called you a whore' and 'please still be my friend' kind of thing."

"So, now that the Emily drama is behind us," she continued, her voice lowering to a husky murmur, "what are we going to do with the rest of this night?"

The memory of the kiss on the porch, the feel of her lips against yours, flooded back, making your skin tingle with a renewed sense of longing. "Well," you began, trying to keep your voice even, "I have a few ideas." A slow smile crept across your face as you reached out to take her hand, your fingers intertwining with hers.

~ not proofread!!

[sillylotrpolls]

For the record, Tolkien really did have some drafts in which Boromir lived. In these, he not only became increasingly envious of Aragorn, but eventually betrayed him to Saruman.

After the Men return to their city, “Boromir deserts and sneaks off to Saruman, to get his help in becoming Lord of Minas Tirith” (TI 210). Surprisingly, this plot point stays in place for a while. Later, Boromir is said to be “enraged” when “the Lord of Minas Tirith is slain” and Aragorn is chosen to rule in his stead (TI 211). In this version, too, he defects to Saruman. Christopher Tolkien suggests that in this, Boromir may be “a faint adumbration of Wormtongue” (TI 214). This suggestion is fascinating, as it brings to our attention possible affinities between the heir to the stewardship of Minas Tirith and the power-hungry wizard. According to the outline, Boromir does not repent, but is “slain by Aragorn” (TI 212)!

Source: https://www.tor.com/2020/10/15/exploring-the-people-of-middle-earth-boromir-the-brave/

[novelmonger]

Some highlights from the Director/Writer Commentary of The Return of the King with Peter Jackson, Philippa Boyens, and Fran Walsh:

As they mentioned in TTT, they were originally going to put the Smeagol vs. Deagol fight as a flashback during the Dead Marshes. Before they decided to use it to open RotK, their placeholder idea for a scene to open RotK was to do a sped-up helicopter shot from the Paths of the Dead, across the plains of Edoras, to the Golden Hall where Aragorn wakes up from a nightmare (and then goes and talks to Eowyn). Very glad they went the direction they did!

In the final shot they used when Smeagol takes the Ring out of Deagol's hand, the actor playing Deagol actually blinked, but they liked Andy Serkis' performance so much, they had Weta go in and freeze Deagol's eyes so they could use the shot XD

You know, I forget sometimes that they didn't even have Saruman in the theatrical cut at all. Boggles the mind.

In the scene where Aragorn comes out of the Golden Hall and goes to stand next to Legolas, who's looking out at the night...Viggo and Orlando weren't in the country at the same time, so they shot them separately and then put them together @_@

You know, I never thought about this before, but when Gandalf touches Pippin's face, they had to make sure his hands looked extra big! So they used an actor called Big Paul, who had the biggest hands they could find, and Ian McKellen directed him for how to move his hands in the shot XD And Big Paul is the Rohan guard who gets shoved aside when Merry and Aragorn rush up to the top of the wall to watch Gandalf and Pippin leave!

THEY SHOT A SCENE OF LEGOLAS TALKING TO TREEBEARD ABOUT THE ELVES LEAVING MIDDLE-EARTH?!?!?!?!?!?! :O Originally, it was going to link the Isengard scenes to the scene of Arwen and the other Rivendell Elves going through the forest, but then because of all the Edoras stuff in between, the connection was lost. They also said something about Legolas reciting a poem! And joked again about putting it into the 25th anniversary edition. THAT TIME IS COMING UP, PETER JACKSON!!!! I WANNA SEE THIS SCENE!!!!!!

a;lkdsjs;kdfljds;fjl NOW THEY'RE JUST TEASING US. They talked about a "library scene" during the whole sequence where Arwen goes back to Rivendell and confronts Elrond about how he saw her son, etc. They wouldn't say what happened in the "library scene," but talked about how they should include that in the 25th anniversary edition too. a;ldkfjs;dkfljsd;kfljdslfk

The people on set who had a crush on Sean Bean were called "Beanstalkers"! XD That's the best; every fan to this day ought to call themselves that!

Similarly to the scene with Legolas and Aragorn, the little bit with Legolas and Gimli as everyone's getting ready to leave Edoras was filmed separately because Orlando and John weren't in the country at the same time. So they filmed Legolas' shots with Brett, John's scale double, then filmed John's shots later, filming both of them against greenscreen. Then they took some unused footage from the Edoras set and put it in the background. It just boggles my mind how many of these cobbled-together scenes there are, because it feels so much like all the characters are together in the real location!

RED ALERT RED ALERT THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!!! They mentioned Beregond!!!! 8D When talking about why they put in the scene where Pippin and Faramir talk (when Faramir says the uniform Pippin's wearing was made for him when he was a child), in order to forge the connection between them that will ultimately lead to Pippin saving Faramir's life, they talked briefly about Beregond! They describe him taking Pippin under his wing, showing him about the city, and called the relationship between them "quite sweet" :3

Another little connection between Pippin and Faramir I don't think I've ever thought about before, that apparently Billy Boyd thought about when doing these scenes, is that Pippin is the only son of the Thain of the Shire, so there may have been a certain amount of pressure and expectation on him. Obviously, he's so young and probably didn't spend too much time worrying about that while scampering about the Shire, but maybe that's something he thinks about while watching the way Faramir and Denethor interact. Maybe a contrast to the way he would interact with his own father, maybe a reminder of the way he would be scolded? Hard to say, but it's interesting to think about.

Uuuuuuughghghg, so frustrating to listen to them talking about the scene on the steps where Frodo sends Sam away DX No matter how many times and how many different ways they explain why they did it, the explanations never quite make sense to me. "We needed there to be more tension." WHY WAS IT NOT TENSE ENOUGH THAT THEY WERE GOING INTO THE LAIR OF A HUGE EVIL SPIDER?! "There wasn't really anything happening on the steps otherwise." YEAH, BECAUSE YOU PUT THE WHOLE CONVERSATION ABOUT STORIES IN THE PREVIOUS MOVIE! Also, why not just cut from one or two shots of them climbing this awful staircase to a shot of them entering the cave? "There needed to be a payoff for Gollum's scheming." WHY WAS GOLLUM BETRAYING THEM TO SHELOB NOT ENOUGH OF A PAYOFF?! "We knew InStInCtIvElY that Frodo needed to enter the cave alone." WHY? WHY?! I've never understood that. They get separated eventually in the book, so why not just ramp up the tension of that in the movie, instead of making the characters so OOC? "We knew it would shock readers of the book, and if we'd changed that, what else might we have changed?" You know...I really, really love these movies, and I appreciate what these three were able to accomplish so much...but sometimes I kind of hate them too -_-

The horses didn't want to walk down the hill on the cobbled streets of Minas Tirith, because their steel shoes were so slippery on the stones. So they all had to be re-shod with rubber shoes. What were horseshoes made of back in ye olden days, though? Iron? Did people run into the same problems back then?

I never really noticed this before, but Aragorn never wears Anduril on his belt! He straps it to his horse, and every time you see him with it, he's just holding the naked blade. This is because they made Anduril so long it was really hard for him to wear it from his belt or to pull it out of the scabbard in a natural way XD

The aerial shot of all the Rohirrim leaving Dunharrow was originally shot to show Gandalf's cart heading into the Shire, but since they didn't use it for that, they repurposed it for RotK!

To get Elijah Wood to foam at the mouth when he's stung by Shelob, they gave him two Alka-Seltzer tablets to put in his mouth and work up some foam with his saliva. I've always wondered how they do that sort of thing in movies, but no one's bothered to explain until now....

Sean Astin's audition scene was holding Frodo after Shelob ;A; Apparently, they (or at least Philippa Boyens) were a little skeptical that an American actor would be able to do Sam's character right, but actually a lot of the English actors who auditioned for the role had a hard time with the Shelob aftermath scene, but Sean nailed it :')

Other than the close-ups, they used a dummy for Faramir on the pyre most of the time. Now I'm just imagining John Noble crouching on top of the pyre, cradling a dummy XD

The first Orc that Aragorn kills on Pelennor fields is played by his son Henry! XD

ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME. They actually filmed Sam pushing past the sort of psychic barrier of the Watchers at the gate of Cirith Ungol, but they didn't put it into the extended edition! I love that part. Like...I'm not even sure why, but I've always thought that was such a cool little detail, and I've always been a bit bummed it wasn't in the movie, though I was thrilled to see the actual Watchers at least there as a sort of homage. And all along, they'd actually filmed something for that after all and I never knew! :O

You know, I never thought about it before, but it makes sense that they had to replace the sky digitally in a lot of scenes in Mordor, because of course when they filmed it, the sky wasn't always completely cloudy, but Mordor needs to have a complete cloud cover at all times.

When Fran Walsh and Philippa Boyens first saw the footage of Sam carrying Frodo up Mt. Doom, they sent a fax (lolol 1999/2000 technology) to Sean and Elijah. They made the first page look all formal and official, and then on the second page it just said, "You made us cry." :')

Andy Serkis refused to have Gollum stand on two feet until the scene in the Crack of Doom. There were a few times that PJ directed him to lurch onto his feet or something, but Andy wouldn't do it. He wanted to show the difference in Gollum physically when he has the Ring again. What a cool detail!

Originally, the whole part where Frodo's hanging off the ledge and Sam is begging him to reach for him happens after the Ring is destroyed. It's really interesting to consider the slight nuances of how different that would be. The final version makes it almost seem like the Ring is still calling to Frodo, like he wants to fall into the lava and join it, whereas originally it was more like "I've lost the Ring and now I have nothing left to live for."

PJ made a sweet comment in the scene where everyone bows to the four hobbits: "This is a moment where there's always a huge sniffle in the audience when the movie's going, and it's usually me." XD

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?! They shot scenes of what happens to the other characters when the hobbits return to the Shire! There is footage out there somewhere of what Legolas and Gimli do, what happens with Faramir and Eowyn!!!! ;aldkfjsd;fkldslfkjd 25th anniversary edition LET'S GOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

[jayviknation]

Me and my co-workers have been writing down things we say that are funny for the last couple years and I thought I could turn them into an Arcane series! (Warning - OOC of course)

That being said this is gonna be a LONG series here is pt. 1 of

🃏FUNNY ISH GOING ON IN ARCANE 🃏

Cait: "That's a sea lion."

Jayce: "Oh is it?"

Cait: "Yeah, because it has visible ears."

Jayce: "What's the difference between a seal and a sea lion?"

Cait: "…visible ears."

Viktor, on the phone with Walgreens: "Pharmacist."

Jayce talking to the mailman at the door: "The package was delivered to the store next door."

Viktor: "Pharmacist."

Jayce: "Not a pharmacist."

Viktor, gestures to his phone: "Pharmacist."

 *Reading the label on the bottle of milk*

Viktor: "Yeah I guess cows are nature"

Jayce: "How did he get memojis in there?"

Vi: "Memojis?"

Jayce: "Okay."

Caitlyn: "So I was talking to a store about this order- "

Jayce: "cait, I swear to Christ, you better be talking about Sean Paul."

*sigh*

Cailtyn: "So I was talking to Sean Paul…"

Vi: "Hey Cait, do you spit bars?"

Caitlyn: "Spit?? Bars???"

Vi: "Well that’s a no"

In reference to Beluga whales-

Jinx: "They call them 'the bats of the ocean' colloquially."

Sevika: "Who's 'they'?"

Jinx: "Them."

Silco: "Who is them?!"

Jinx: "The ocean."

Jayce: "Hey Mel"

Jayce just stares at Mel and says nothing

Salo: "He just wants to look at you”

Jayce, Eating Jellybeans: "What are these things, these beans?"

Viktor: "jay… what?"

Jayce: "Oh Jellybeans. Right.”

Jinx: *Gags*

Sevika: "Yes? Did you say my name?"

[taraxippos]

Yeah I agree with everything you said. I never go into this stuff with high expectations, the bar is very low. Like I'm expecting "OOO This area looks so pretty now!!!" and probably better combat considering how Not Good it is lol But yeah like the voice actors is where my mind goes very quick. I don't know if it's all nostalgia but they are just so good to me and Skyrim did not really deliver in that department. Hire Sean Bean again, more Martin dialogue.

Yeah like legitimately I find the Oblivion voice acting very charming. Like the stiltedness of it is really unique in that these ARE all very talented voice actors, only they’ve been given their lines alphabetically with minimal context. So it’s got this certain Jeh Nah Say Kwah to it, it’s (mostly) not bad voice acting but instead really good performances done in a strange stilted manner. Almost dreamlike. It will be really interesting to see how things change if they re-recorded all the voice lines and did so in a sensible chronological fashion.

Also gotta say in retrospect I actually love Patrick Stewart’s performance. Sean Bean does a good job because he’s a good actor but it feels like he’s kinda just there to collect his check, whereas Patrick Stewart is like “I’m going to work the absolute shit out of my 5 minutes onscreen before I die in the tutorial dungeon’. I’m also still just mesmerized by the fact that they allegedly gave PS some kind of lore bible to guide his performance as, again, a character with like 5 minutes of screentime before dying in the tutorial dungeon. I really want to believe they only gave that to him and not Sean Bean.

Also oh my god it just hit me that they could potentially improve the scene before the battle for Bruma where your posse is marching thru the city and there’s a scattered crowd of NPCs performing awkward clapping animations going like ‘yay martin!’ ‘yeah!’ ‘hail!’. Anything done to improve that scene in any measure would be my next 9/11.

[ach-sss-no]

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Boromir's response to the guard was chosen via poll. I never know what the internet will do, and in this case, the majority chose...

....sane and reasonable, the most surprising possible result on the internet! (boromir is not taking the audacious move of trying to get away with pretending he's not bringing another person into the town; but he is also not trying to explain gollum, which i suspect would only serve to confuse the guard and make gollum anxious.)

Needlessly long minutiae under the cut

I do not like to pick specific dates in this AU because I will get them wrong and I am a coward. But this is meant to be slightly into the Fourth Age.

Gollum has been ring-free and essentially in therapy for 4-5 years. There is related fanfiction if you want his situation explained in excruciating detail; all you need to know is that he's just here and has compellingly shown the other characters that he is no longer a threat. He does need care/supervision and can't be ethically released to the wild (primarily because he does not want to go). He's been living in Minas Tirith, if that wasn't clear.

Frodo has set sail, so I am sorry to say he will not be in this comic unless there are flashbacks to when he was still living on the continent. (Ditto everyone else who was on the boat with him)

This is also long enough post-Scouring that I thought Bree would be getting more relaxed about letting people in again, at least if it's just one dude and one hobbit and there are no visible weapons and they have a letter from Pippin Took, famed anti-bandit local hero. Boromir is still thinking about the bandit problem, though.

Staddle is a suburb of Bree to the east. I know this from LOTRO. If you were in Bree and you saw a hobbit turn up at the east gate, creature known to stay at home and not live east of the Misty Mountains, a hobbit, you would probably assume he was coming in from Staddle and not... Gondor, a place a zillion miles away that you've possibly never heard of, where there are no hobbits.

This is the website I got 'ramreth' from and if the site is accurate (it looks accurate) it literally does mean 'wall climber'. I'm not really a conlangs person <_<;

"I had a chance but did not take it" = In this universe where Boromir lives (and is ambulatory/can travel), Boromir was given the offer to travel with the other Fellowship members all the way to Bree if desired, but he left the group earlier than that for personal reasons (chiefly, not wanting another extended absence from Gondor) (but now he regrets that because it turns out there was bandits and also he had more limited opportunity to see certain people again in this life than he realized)

Anyway, if you read all that. Here's a poll, as a treat

[verdemoun]

timewarp bill watching brokeback mountain

BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN IS A CULTURAL AND SPIRITUAL EXPERIENCE FOR THE ENTIRE GANG

Kieran was the one who discovered it, admittedly just seeing cowboy hats and pictures of horses and sheep and going yay western movie because he still can't read and the images on the dvd cover were not suggestive in the slightest.

He proceeded to watch it alone, mouth hanging open, edge of his seat, going through the emotional rollercoaster that is Brokeback Mountain. The second he finished it he very urgently walked around the house and dragged as many of the 1899 gang into the living room and forced them to sit on the couch 'you need to watch this right now'.

Emotional damage on mass scale. Lenny and Sean watch it curled up in each other's arms and just absolutely entangled in each other for support with Sean just crying into Lenny's back. Can of beans becomes the code for lube.

Hosea and Arthur going through the 'watching sex scenes with your parent/child' awkwardness but both are just projecting so hard they really do need the emotional support to get through the movie. Like Arthur is very much trying not to cry thinking about Charles at the end and Hosea just has to put a hand on his shoulder.

The dvd sits next to the bible on Kieran's bookshelf of precious belongings.

BUT BILL. BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL.

Naturally Kieran loans him his precious dvd and Bill is like is this about homosexuals no fucking way in hell I am watching this. Kieran stares at him autistically and Bill admits he's going to watch it the second he gets home and will let Kieran know what he thinks.

Bill's entire sense of being is shattered and put together again over 134 minutes. It becomes his go to comfort movie. The way the film creates homophobia and the sexual and narrative tension of how much they want to be together despite the era? The terror of making that one mistake and getting caught - Brokeback Mountain was created specifically to target Bill Williamson and it gets him every single time.

If not for Brokeback Mountain, Bill might have taken an extra 2-5 business years to actually be able to admit to himself he is gay. It was his modern era reawakening.

Also Bill and Mac two dudes chilling on the sofa 5 feet apart watching Brokeback Mountain in complete silence because they're not gay. Not realizing absolutely everyone is aware of the film and their casual quoting 'this is a god damn bitch of an unsatisfactory situation' is not supporting their 'i ain't queer' arguments.

[borom1r]

the funniest part of looking for tit pics of That Old Man is running across ghoulish fucking tabloid articles talking abt how bad he looks now like apologies to whatever fucking culture gremlin decided aging/gaining weight was a crime for the 1000000000th time but luckily I’m a faggot with taste and functioning eyesight

imdb constantly asking me to sign in like beloved that is not going to happen. I don’t need you to have a record of my faggotry

[lewinblue]

Sunny m'dear, the Ben Mears thoughts/thots are back to cause their usual chaos (lol).

-Literally nobody in the coven house ever goes hungry. If nobody eats it means that they were either too preoccupied with a hunt or somebody forgot to pay the gas and electric bill (lol).

-Everybody in the house learned to cook their own shit from an early age. Sure nobody's a gourmet chef or anything but it certainly feels like it sometimes.

-Ben's favorite thing is when he gets to make his Aunt Cindy and Uncle Sean's recipe for apple and cranberry roasted chicken. He'll let the roaster brine in the fridge for a couple of days and add the herbs and spices just before it gets set on top of a bed of carrots, onions and celery. That thing starts cookin, the entire household won't stay outta the kitchen.

-Father Callahan may be an Irishman but damn that man can cook Italian dinners like nobody's business. Lasagna, caccitore, gnocchi, you name it, he's got it in the recipe box. The lasagna's super meaty and cheesy and he even uses the tomatoes from the backyard garden to make the sauce.

-Of course who could live without Matt Burke's pasta bolognese? It's totally delicious but man does it have a ton of garlic in it. One of the coven members ate the leftovers before a hunt, ended up burping in the face of a vampire and it ended up killing the creature.

-Mike and Lucy will make a huge pot of chicken noodle soup and they add a little bit of dill and chickpeas to it. They even use all the dark meat from the chicken so it has all that good flavor in there.

-You've made all kinds of stuff too. A real favorite in the cold months is steak au poivre soup with all the potatoes and stringy little onion curls. Your homemade mac'n'cheese is a big hit too and there's almost no leftovers the next day.

-Mark and Randy will help you cook without question. Mark has a pretty good reign on the kitchen utensils but Randy usually uses his little baby knife to cut bread and apples. Randy loves helping you bake but Mark likes to go full mad scientist and work with the meat and it's only then that Ben has to be on standby to make sure he doesn't do anything stupid.

-Two members of the coven, Frank and Beth Daniels, are both from the Mi'kmaq Indian territory and they both make alot of the stuff they grew up with for Sunday dinners. Beth still has her grandma's baked bean recipe which takes a few days to prepare but damn it's delicious. Frank will make his family's bannock recipe for breakfast and homemade blueberry jam from his and Beth's orchard. You're pretty grateful whenever he and Beth come for Thanksgiving dinner because Frank constantly has to talk the men of the house out of deep frying the turkey every year (thank God he's a firefighter to boot, lol).

-Mark definitely takes the leftovers for lunch the next day. He loves it cuz it means not having to eat the gross school lunches and he loves seeing the look on the faces of all the snotty school bullies too (lol).

Sunny I'm sorry, I'm a big foodie and I didn't eat much this afternoon for lunch so this made me extra hungry 😋😋😋😋 (I'll have to elaborate more on the turkey fiasco, that might end up becoming a fic in November, lol).

Lol this made me so hungry.

I can just imagine a mayhap early on while schedules are still being worked out and everyone is figuring out what each of them are capable of. On more than one occasion there have been at least three dishes made because Father Callahan thought it was his turn to cook but Matt Burke had a taste for his bolognese and there are still left overs from last nights meal and of course someone insisted on dessert so now everyone is eating Thanksgiving quantities on a normal Tuesday.