#hes the dude who was being forced to wrestle on womens teams

[twunkzilla]

Mack Beggs accepted a challenge from some transphobic shit for brains loser who's whole gimmick is trying to fight trans men??

[iris-sistibly]

The Targ Talk: House of the Dragon S2

Season finale commentary & overall thoughts:

Tyland Lannister going on a wrestling match, and well...bedding Lohar's wives will never not be funny. Dude really went above and beyond to secure a naval force that would fight the Velaryon fleet. If he doesn't get a raise for this, I don't know anymore.

With Rhaenyra gaining the upper hand, and Aemond becoming more psycho, Aegon doesn't really have the choice but escape. But with the number of women he had taken, he deserves to have his cock explode like a sausage on a spit. This is an indication that he can longer sire another male heir, unless of course he slept with Helaena the night before he got toasted, and the latter ends up getting pregnant with Maelor. This would make Aemond's claim to the throne stronger...or he could name Jaehaera his heiress which would be so ironic and hypocritical considering that the greens usurped Rhaenyra's throne in the first place because they do not want a woman to rule.

Ulf showing signs of greed and entitlement and Jace putting him in his place is so satisfying. This is one of the cons that I don't know if Rhaenyra had thought carefully. In Ulf's mind, if a bastard like Jace can be named crown prince, and have all these privileges, why can't he? What makes Jace so special that he has everything while other bastards like him were left to fend for themselves? Rhaenyra making them knights is not going to be enough for someone like Ulf, and if Rhaenyra isn't vigilant he will not only betray her, but will use Silverwing to his advantage. You might think, Rhaenyra would still have more Dragons right? She still has Vermithor (if Hugh does not betray her in the show), Seasmoke, Syrax and (finally) Caraxes plus Vermax, Moondancer, and if Rhaena succeeds they'll also have Sheepstealer. The greens are still at a disadvantage with only Vhagar, Silverwing and Tessarion. But this will again put her decision-making into question by her council since she was the one who hired more bastard dragonriders. Also having more dragons didn't stop Jace, Joffrey and Daemon from dying.

The Haunting of Harrenhal finally ends with Daemon having this whole ass vision about the song of ice and fire, Daenerys Targaryen being the one from the prophecy, and she came from Rhaenyra (and his) line. Him finally understanding why Viserys chose his daughter to ascend the throne, and Daemon rallying an entire army for his wife which is cute btw I love that Daemyra is back to being a team now. But let's not forget how horrible the screenwriters were for fucking up Dany's story in Game of Thrones, for me the show ended with Daenerys coming back to Dragonstone, the last two seasons were shit.

So...Helaena can not only have visions, but she's also capable of appearing in someone else's vision which makes her power a lot more interesting. Also I love the fact that she didn't gave in to Aemond's demands and told straight to his face that he was gonna die. I really do hope that we'll get to see more of Helaena's magic, I want her to take Jaehaera (and Morghul), ride on Dreamfyre and find a place or people who could help her hone her power, a peaceful life may also do. But judging from her conversation with Alicent, she might also end up staying for she knew that no matter what she does, she couldn't change her fate.

The final cut in this episode is so far the dumbest I have seen. Rhaenyra choosing to take a chill pill in a desperate attempt to convince Alicent to end this senseless war was...a waste of time no matter how good Rhaenyra's intentions were. Alicent only realizing how fucked up her sons were all this time after she was thrown out of council is just...I don't even know what to say anymore. I thought of Alicent turning her back against her sons but I didn't expect her to actually do it. But this scene just doesn't make sense. Here's why:

If Rhaenyra really wanted to take back what was rightfully hers, she must get rid or punish every single one of the opposing side. Her wanting Aegon executed, but letting Alicent go is so stupid. Alicent was the one who fed poison to her sons' minds, she was part of the greens' scheme to put Aegon to the throne who by the way didn't even want it in the first place, and now Alicent is throwing him under the bus AND Rhaenyra is letting her off the hook just because she admitted her mistakes and "helped" Rhaenyra with a plan to take King's Landing from Aemond and the greens? Has the latter forgotten that she lost a daughter and a son because of what the greens did?

What the fuck is this bullshit?

I just find it hard to believe that Alicent would give up Aegon just like that. It's like creating something and when you make a mistake, it turns out really bad you throw it away and move on. Were the writers even fully aware at how ridiculous this is? Some Alicent stans say that she cared for her children and she tried her best to be a mother, well then...look at her now. Some may even argue that she was a mere tool, okay, but her children were also pawns to this game weren't they? If Aegon is to be executed, then so should she and the rest of the greens especially Crispy and fucking Otto Hightower. If she wants to set things right so badly, then she should also be facing Rhaenyra's punishment. Not just Aegon or Aemond.

Rhaenyra should have at least held Alicent hostage and imprison her, that would have been more realistic than letting her go because she was a former friend *face palms* Ewan Mitchell said in an interview that Alicent was Aemond's kryptonite, then that would have been an opportunity for Rhaenyra to use her against Aemond. Alas, she wasted it. You know what's fucking annoying? This never-ending cycle of misunderstanding. Because if Rhaenyra finds out that Aegon escaped, she'd think that Alicent lied to her, that the queen dowager went to Dragonstone to talk to her and buy Aegon some time to get the fuck out of King's Landing and Rhaenyra is going to get angry, and the tragedy goes on.

Perhaps they came up with that idea to have some sort of comparison with their younger selves. Rhaenyra being able to do whatever she wants while Alicent is being chained by her duties that she never asked for. Now it's the other way around. In addition, if Aegon learns of his mother's betrayal it could also fuel his anger which will make him ruthless next season but...it's still so disappointing.

I never got to say this, but Simon Strong is THE man of the season.

Caraxes cheering up as soon as he saw Syrax and Seasmoke will always be cute.

Overall thoughts: This season is rather underwhelming. Everything else is on point except the storytelling, is this better than season 1? No. Though I love that there are more dragons now and I absolutely love Helaena more this season. I also love that there are more Jace and Baela scenes...before the Battle of the Gullet which I feel like season 3 is gonna kick off with a heart wrenching episode.

Did I enjoy watching it? Hm...the exhilarating part was the battle between Rhaenys, Aegon and Aemond but other than that, it's just meh. My least favorite season so far.

P.S. Tessarion and Daeron are the other greens I stan, they better be worth the wait.

[danwhobrowses]

WWE Summerslam 2021 - Initial Reaction and Review

It's been a big week for wrestling in general, and now we have the Biggest Party of the Summer in the books, uncharacteristically airing on a Saturday.

It's been a while since I've run down a WWE PPV, time and apathy does have a bit to do with it, but since this is a big 4 and given what happened in Chicago there's definitely curiosity over how WWE would respond

Spoilers for Summerslam 2021 Below, I will be discussing the winners and moments so watch the PPV first

As usual I will indicate in the title who was the person I expected to win before the match started, but instead of Bold this time I'll put them in Italics with the whole match card being in bold

Kick-off

A long-ass kickoff was majority promo and interviews, not any contrarion drabble this time which was good. It was kinda sad to see Asuka on the packages but nowhere to be seen on the card.

I did like the sign guy of 'McAfee = Ratings' because he's kinda right, he has been great on commentary. I did not miss that dude in the Fiend Mask though, or the Lily Doll.

I will reiterate though that Sonya Deville is wasted right now, let her back in the goddamn ring, SD's Women's Division does need it and they make her look like a goof as Assistant GM.

Also apparently the Mysterios vs Usos aren't good enough for a promo package, not like it's a title match or anything... plus the disrespect still there, 'I wouldn't wanna work with my dad' they say like Rey isn't a multi time world champion with a huge wealth of experience.

The Miz and Morrison came in with a water truck to a mixed pop of cheers and boos, this moist gimmick ain't great but props for both guys being dedicated to it, it was short enough not to overstay its welcome too.

Ugh, Logan Paul is here...

Big E def. Baron Corbin (Pinfall via Big Ending) We had a new announcer from a Tiktok competition winner called Raine, and you know she was really good at it.

Corbin entered to boos hugging the MITB briefcase he stole, unable to afford entrance music it seems even though he's getting a PPV paycheck. To his credit he looks ultra disheveled, and when the ref had to pry the briefcase from him he looked super forlorn. I dunno why he's wrestling in a shirt though wouldn't that make it dirtier?

When the bell rings E does basically go right at Corbin, Corbin got a shoulder block in but then got caught in a belly to belly - despite protests - then a belly to backp. E missing the apron splash as Corbin senses a countout win, at 7 he leaves the ring to hit E against the ring post to try and eke out more time, demanding that the timekeeper keep the briefcase in his sights. E does return to the ring but his spear goes right is sidestepped into the ringpost, then thrown into them two more times, but only gets 2.

Corbin continues with some momentum with a sidewalk slam for 2, but his chokeslam is reversed into a rollup for 2 then a stretch muffler. He escapes and hits the Deep Six for 2, then 1.8, Corbin then stumbles to the briefcase, considering an exit before being hit with a lariat. E throws Corbin into the ring, but Corbin rolls right out, grabs the briefcase and tries to run around the ring only to be pounced into the barricade by Big E. The cat and mouse chase comes to an end, Corbin elbows E to get some room to roll to the other side of the ring but E catches him with that suicide spear he does, the briefcase is dropped and the straps are off: Big Ending for 3.

Shots of Logan Paul are hilariously met with huge boos as Big E finally reclaims his briefcase to a pop.

It was a nice little match, good palette cleanser and a nice and clean competition, Corbin had no chance in winning but it was a solid way to warm up the crowd for the main ppv.

Our final bit of the kick-off was discussing the UNI main event, though I feel like losing your job is a higher stake than winning your 17th world title. Also they had to force in the shucky ducky which was dumb.

Main Show

Raw Tag Team Championship: RK-Bro [Randy Orton & Riddle] def AJ Styles & Omos (c) [TITLE CHANGE] (Pinfall on Styles by Orton via RKO) Starting the night with some fun as Riddle comes out in a garish snake print outfit with a cerise pink lining, Orton didn't get the fashion memo thankfully but his hologram snake was cheesy. Riddle interacted with the crowd and had the multicoloured holo-doves while Orton mainly kept to himself. AJ and Omos came out together, though Omos had no theatrics, looking like a bouncer being invited to dinner still.

Orton and AJ started the match, Orton with the early advantage and tagging Riddle in for an assisted backflip for a 1 count, AJ rolls out the ring frustrated then tags in Omos, who just ragdolls Riddle; Shoulder Block, big clubbing blow then a delayed powerslam - an interesting glance over to Orton as well as they smile at each other, almost like Orton approved. Omos tries to deadlift Riddle with a wristlock but Riddle scrambles into a sleeper, but is flipped off then flattened in the corner. AJ tags in, platforming Omos for a Tornado DDT for 2, Riddle tries to fight out but runs into a backbreaker as AJ tells Orton 'you're next'.

During the rest hold, the crowd rallies Riddle back into the fight, AJ looks to have reclaimed an advantage and throws Riddle to his corner, but Riddle turns it into a dropkick on Omos, then dumps AJ out the ring. Riddle tries to tag Orton but AJ grabs him, enzugiri by Riddle allows Orton to make the hot tag. Clotheslines on AJ, a forearm to Omos - but it only stuns him, doesn't even fall to the floor, backdrop and another forearm to Omos that again fails to drop him. Clothesline to corner and a powerslam, this time Orton drops Omos out the ring by dropkicking the knees, draping DDT gets Orton feeling the RKO, but Omos drags AJ out the ring, then catches Riddle's dive to chokeslam him onto the apron. AJ stuns Orton with a jawbreaker on the ropes and gestures Omos to finish Riddle, but Riddle escapes the lawn dart and pushes Omos into the ring post. AJ though catches Riddle with his backflip reverse DDT on the outside, he misses the Phenomenal Forearm, but stands his ground against the RKO attempt, he rolls up for 2 and then lands into an RKO for 3.

It didn't last long but it was a fun opener, it was time for a title change and RK-Bro was a good choice. It's a shame Styles has to be the weak link but you can't be surprised that WWE continue to protect Omos.

Alexa Bliss (w/Lily) def. Eva Marie (w/ Doudrop) (Pinfall via DDT) The Lily hologram was fucking horrifying as Bliss carries the doll and puts it on the corner turnbuckle. Bliss weaves Eva effortlessly, she tries a waistlock but gets elbowed off. Eva gets a punch and a hair yank then...poses. She grabs Lily and starts slapping the doll, then slapping Alexa with the doll. Alexa then goes on the attack, clotheslines then a senton for 2, she puts Lily back as Eva argues with Doudrop. Alexa misses the Twisted Bliss and Eva gets 2 twice, a kick to the gut and a DDT finishes off Eva.

Post-match, Doudrop only looks smugly at Eva and grabs a microphone, announcing Eva as the loser, stealing her gown and walking away as Eva insists she made Doudrop.

This match didn't need to happen, in fact it could've just been a segment, but at least WWE were sensible in not having Eva Marie win against a former women's champion. They also didn't do any spooky shit and put the narrative mainly on Doudrop being free to hopefully be Piper Niven again, once again it didn't overstay its welcome.

Mario Lopez (who?) interviews RK-Bro on their title win, Orton cuts his normal promo but gets stumbled by trying to fit 'Bro' into his '3 most deadly letters in wrestling' catchphrase.

US Championship: Damian Priest def. Sheamus (c) [TITLE CHANGE] (Pinfall via Recknoning) Immediately after the interview Priest was already on the ramp, in blue gear with the USA and Puerto Rico flag on his tights, he did his archer pose to set off his tron. The Tron had a bit of an issue with Sheamus' opening, Sheamus wandered in with his face guard and coat. Sidebar, I still don't like the US Title design, it's better than the old one but not by much.

The two start by locking up, some solid chain wrestling shows that Sheamus has the power but Priest has the agility. After a pump kick, Priest hits a Falcon Arrow for 1, he has a bit of a nasty landing with his mid-rope flip senton out the ring, his heel clipped Sheamus' head but Priest's back had a hard landing on the floor, not easy to get distance when you step off the middle rope. Despite a flurry of kicks, Sheamus focuses on the back by throwing him into the ring post, belly to back and also an Irish Curse lead to a Camel Clutch, but Priest escapes that, Sheamus picks him up but Priest elbows out, so then he tries to powerbomb and Priest rana's out of that. Momentum is short though as Sheamus gets a powerslam for 2, a Dublin Smile and a Beats of the Bodhrán but he cuts the count short to slight the crowd's chant. His timewasting is punished by a Tornado DDT from Priest, they trade blows and a lariat floors Sheamus, a spinning leg lariat from the top rope only gets him 2.

Priest sets up the Reckoning, but is picked up for a rolling fireman's carry slam, Sheamus slowly climbs the turnbuckle, giving Priest time to look for a chokeslam, but Sheamus shimmies along the ropes and gets a massive rope-assisted jawbreaker, top turnbuckle clothesline and an Alabama Slam only gets 2. Sheamus angrily talks shit at Priest, Priest slaps him but Sheamus headbutts him back. He sets up the Brogue Kick but Priest gets the Big Boot and the South of Heaven, but it only gets 2. Priest tries the Reckoning but his back won't handle the weight, he tries a Disaster Kick but runs into a knee to the face, it's only a 2. After being furious with the ref Sheamus tries the Cloverleaf, but gets rolled up for 2, he catches Priest in a heel hook in the middle of the ring, with no ropes to reach, Priest reaches for the face guard, ripping it off of Sheamus. Madness in his eyes, Priest unloads on Sheamus' face, causing Sheamus to cover up and release the hold, a flapjack into the top turnbuckle stuns Sheamus for another spinning Leg Lariat and then a Recknoning for 3.

A nice technical match, had some creative spots in there and Priest winning was nice to see after the Miz/Morrison feud lasted forever. I do dislike that they said it was his first title 'in WWE' though, because he was NA Champion in NXT, which is still WWE Cole. I don't think I liked that the face guard is what undid Sheamus, the dude who likes to fight shouldn't really lose to insecurity. But third time's the charm with the Reckoning.

Afterwards we had a promo for NXT TakeOver. We got a backstage talk between Rey and Dom, Dom apologizing to Rey for the SD incident and Rey forgiving it immediately, noting to stay focused on the match right now.

SD Tag Championship: The Usos (c) def. The Mysterios (Pinfall on Rey by Jey via Splash) Immediately after the promo they left the curtain to their entrance, the yellow, white and pink was...a choice, kinda miss the comic book attires. The Usos came out with the Leis and their regular gear.

Rey and Jimmy started lightning quick, Rey setting up a 619 with a rana but Jimmy rolling out of the ring, eating a basement dropkick. Jey's intervening is stopped by Dom who drops him sluggishly into his brother before he's tagged in, Rey hits the baseball slide splash and Dom the crossbody. In the ring Dom's second crossbody gets 2, three amigos by Dom but he shifted Jimmy too close to Jey, who managed to tag a leg, meaning that Jey throws Dom off the turnbuckle when he tries a Frog Splash. Jey taunts Dom after hitting him into the ring post (who has had a lot of mileage already), gesturing him to try and tag his father before cinching a headlock, Dom tries to fight back but is thrown to the other corner, Jimmy is tagged in and they hit a Backbreaker/Ax Handle combo. Jimmy taunts Dom the same way, diving headbutt for 2, the Usos spend too much time taunting Dom in their corner as the younger Mysterio staggers the twins with elbows, his rush for his father is cut off by a very nonchalant uppercut by Jey (McAfee literally yelling HADOUKEN was amazing). Jey continues to posture after suplexes and more taunting, they look for the third suplex but Dom hooks his leg, reversing it into a twisting neckbeaker.

Rey gets the hot tag as Jey tags Jimmy, planting the Uso with a tornado DDT for 2. Seated Senton and a forearm to Jey on the Apron leads to Rey walking into a Superkick for 2. Both Usos stalk Rey, looking to do a pop-up Powerbomb, but Rey ranas Jimmy out the ring, Jey gets him with a superkick to the gut, then a superkick to counter Rey's springboard crossbody, he hits the Splash but it only gets 2. Jey looks frustrated and tags Jimmy to set up the double splash, but Dom cuts Jey off, he tries to suplex Jey onto the apron but Jey drops him with a front-facing suplex instead. The delay is sufficient though since Rey rolls away from Jimmy's splash, headscissors setup, 619 for a big pop, he goes for the Frog Splash but Jimmy gets the knees up. Superkick by Jimmy, tags in Jey, double Superkick, splash by Jey and 3.

*sigh* Can Rey stop being pinned? It's not like Dom doesn't know how to take a pin. It's, it's sucky really, I've said it enough times but Rey deserves more than this given his popularity and past title wins, WWE would not do this to the likes of Edge or Cena, Angle or Goldberg, hell they wouldn't even do this to Eddie and yet Rey gets this treatment as thanks for being full time. Granted, it took like 3 finishers to down him but come on, compare the light pop this match got when everyone knew the Usos were winning with the pop Rey's hot tag and his 619 got, he still has it and they won over the crowd, with more time and narrative to their match it could've been a classic. I'm just sick of seeing one of my faves lose so much you know, if the story is Dom's inexperience then surely he would be the reason for defeat, rather than Rey being ganged up on.

Tiffany Haddish (who??) interviews Priest on his title win, apparently Priest hates bullies and he's happy...not as cool as his NA title win in the hot tub though. Summerslam could've fit in a hot tub

Rick Boogs then shreds the guitar as he welcomes King Nakamura. McAfee is dancing like a goof again on the table and Nakamura's crown falls off, but he makes up for it by playing the IC title like a guitar with Pat. He's disappeared after the Belair/Sasha package though...kinda confusing why that was there.

SD Women's Championship: Bianca BelAir (c) vs Sasha Banks CANCELLED As Bianca enters with SD Women's Title prints on her gear, the announcer says that Sasha is unable to compete, so Carmella is fighting in her stead. A shame but obviously not intended.

Bianca BelAir (c) vs Carmella INTERRUPTED Props to McAfee for noting the collective disappointment. BelAir looks disappointed too and tells Carmella that she's gonna dish out her frustration on Carmella. The title is aloft but then

Becky Lynch is here

Cameras are not showing enough of her on her return as Bianca buzzes, the crowd is on their feet. Becky's got a thicker mane than I remember, maybe it's the curls, a new shirt of 'The Man's back in Vegas' is worn by Becky too as she soaks in her pop. When the cameras stop long enough to focus on Becky she is looking extra lean. She attacks Carmella and dumps her out of the ring, she tells Bianca she'll be right back and throws Carmella into the steps, before standing off with Bianca. She grabs a microphone and asks for a title match, BelAir mulls it, but eventually accepts.

Becky Lynch def. Bianca BelAir (c) [TITLE CHANGE] (Pinfall via Manhandle Slam) Both women are amped up, Lynch offers a handshake but the moment they touch, she socks Bianca, Manhandle Slam and 3. Becky celebrates as BelAir looks stunned and a little shafted, Becky does gesture no hard feelings but, BelAir does have hard feelings.

It's a big pop for Becky's return, though I would've rather seen you know, a match. I love Becky, she's been one of my favourite women's wrestlers in WWE before she was even The Man, and I am psyched she's back, but BelAir vs Becky could've been a good match. we didn't need the Carmella stuff either just have BelAir call an open challenge in Sasha's absence. Also as thin as the SD Women's Division was Becky probably would've fit more for the Raw Women's Title situation, since we last saw her vacating it and that shit's on heavy life support, plus I was kinda hoping that Bianca could beat Sasha but Sasha would win later down the line so we could build Liv Morgan for a title win, I guess October's draft could still open it up. But yeah, happy to see Becky back.

Wrestling Olympic Gold Medalists Tamyra Mensah-Stock and Gable Stevenson come out next, I know WWE have been hot on Gable but after the scripts' comments on Simone Biles it feels forced. Tamyra was at least happy to be here.

Extreme Rules promo is next.

Drew McIntyre def. Jinder Mahal (Pinfall via Claymore) Jinder comes out first, Veer and Shanky only able to stand at the ramp and go to the back. Drew comes with his sword to summon...smoke? You can see how dull that sword is too.

Drew starts the match strong by throwing Jinder in the corner, kicks and chops followed by throws, he motions for Claymore but Jinder rolls out the ring, cutting him at the legs. Jinder's attempt to regain momentum is countered with a belly to belly, so next he tries to appeal to their past friendship but Drew isn't having it. He tries the Futureshock but Jinder kicks him in the face, stunning him for 2. Knee drops and knee chokes are followed by clubs to Drew's head and a choke, but Drew powers out and hits a Glasgow Kiss (which they called a Glaz-gao kiss, it's not that hard to say Glasgow), some more Belly to Bellies leads to a Futureshock and a kip up, 3, 2, 1, Claymore, 1, 2, 3.

McIntyre stepped over Jinder as he celebrated, Veer and Shanky tended to Jinder and then Drew grabbed his sword and started swinging...like the face he is trying to murder these dudes for tending to their boss.

Okay. Easy pop having squashed Jinder, did this need to be on PPV? Probably not, this and Bliss/Eva could've been done on Raw, rather than steal time from Usos/Mysterios and a potential Becky/BelAir banger. Nobody really got over or elevated with this.

Raw Women's Championship: Charlotte Flair def. Nikki A.S.H. (c) and Rhea Ripley [TITLE CHANGE] (Submission on Nikki by Charlotte via Figure Eight) Uncharacteristically, Nikki came out first to nothing, not a pop or a boo, it kinda sounded like fake crowd noises when we had one pop. Rhea got a mini pop next, but loud woos for Charlotte? Don't buy that especially given how she's meant to be the heel. She's in kinda Thanos gear too. The pops were louder for Rhea when her name was announced, Nikki's was mixed and Charlotte had some boos.

The bell rings as Charlotte shoves Nikki, telling her to get out the ring. Rhea shoves Charlotte but Nikki dumps Rhea out the ring, a Monkey Flip to Charlotte then a Rollup on Rhea for 1. Charlotte dumps Rhea as the two tussle, Nikki coming back to boot Charlotte off the apron as part of a bulldog on Rhea. Rhea keeps trying to keep a hold of Nikki but Nikki keeps rolling her up. Charlotte throws Nikki into Rhea like a spear then lariats Rhea and exploder's Nikki. Rhea and Charlotte trade advantages around the turnbuckle, Charlotte fights off a Nikki crossbody and powerslams Nikki onto Rhea, she tries the moonsault but Rhea gets her feet up, Nikki rolls her up but Rhea pulls her off, tries the Riptide but Nikki shifts her weight to splash her. Nikki headscissors Charlotte but is booted by Rhea, Charlotte then boots Rhea and taunts her, Rhea then starts finding energy, a Northern Lights for 1 but Charlotte then regains momentum, a huge big boot to dump Rhea out the ring, but Nikki then tornado DDTs Charlotte for 2. Basement Dropkick to Rhea gives Charlotte time to catch Nikki but Rhea german's them both, Missile Dropkick to Charlotte by Rhea only gets 2 as Charlotte flees to the outside. The two trade blows on the outside, to be flattened by Nikki's crossbody.

Pulling Charlotte in the ring, Charlotte resists the suplex, but Rhea comes in to double up on Charlotte, only for Charlotte to reverse it to a double DDT, Flair chops are suppressed but Charlotte still manages to fend off Nikki and Rhea, Corkscrew Moonsault on the outside takes the two out. She drags Rhea in but Rhea gets a boot, Nikki tries to roll up Rhea but only gets 2. Rhea's limping a bit but still kicks Nikki and cinches in her Inverted Cloverleaf, she dodges the Big Boot from Charlotte (perhaps inadvertently) and locks it into Charlotte, but she rolls through and gets the Figure 8, which is broken by Nikki's knee drop. Nikki hits a Purge but it's broken up by Rhea, she sets another Riptide but again Nikki counters this time with a Reverse Tornado DDT, dumping Rhea out the ring. Nikki sees Charlotte prone, setting up the Crossbody, but she misses, Charlotte locks the Figure 8 and taps.

Abrupt finish, it was a really well-worked match selling the chaos of the triple threat. But I never felt like Charlotte was in danger of losing, Nikki wasn't working because they rushed her new character without getting her over, so of course WWE were gonna fall back to ye olde Charlotte title win. The narrative didn't help either, she seemed like the babyface and again, didn't feel threatened, I never saw the opening for Charlotte to lose. In a vacuum it was a good match, as a whole though, since Rhea won the title at mania nobody's gotten over, they made an absolute hash of the Charlotte feud to the point where we didn't even feel invested in Rhea getting a win back, then we fast tracked a cash in. The only one who profited here was Charlotte, who got to add 2 more title reigns to her name on paper, had Becky came here to make it a 4-Way and won, it'd probably have been more hopeful because now, who is next? Asuka's AWOL, Shayna's buried, Alexa's on spooky shits, Rhea's broken, Nikki isn't getting over, who can Charlotte face at this point?

Edge def. Seth Rollins (Submission via Crossface) Dressed like some aristocrat, Seth entered first half smug half focused, it may've dragged on a bit long. Edge didn't come out to Metalingus, but instead he came out in the fires of the Brood, with the dark sunglasses, fire and the elevated platform to boot, but then Metalingus came out to give the people what they want.

The bell rings but there's a long pause to soak in the crowd investment. Edge has the early advantage with a swift punch, every time Seth tries to lock in on Edge he hits back, annoying Seth as he mulls outside the ring. He tries the Pedigree but is again dumped out the ring, this time Edge follows and throws him around the barriaces, Rollins returns to the ring but is knee'd out, but gets some advantage by dodging the Baseball Slide and driving Edge into ye olde Ring Post, then against the steps. Neckbreaker only gets 2 as he continues to focus on the neck with chokes, stomps and slingblades, another neckbreaker leads to another 2 as Seth taunts Edge about it.

A diving knee by Rollins gets 2 as Seth kicks around Edge, he tries another neckbreaker but Edge reverses into a backslide for 2, Flapjack and a tackle into the turnbuckle, Seth fends off Edge at the turnbuckle though and hits the Frog Splash for 2 but for the second time Edge rolls into the corner to avoid the stomp. Rollins pulls Edge to the turnbuckle, but Edge hits him with a top turnbuckle spinning neckbreaker, Flapjack onto the top rope, Edgecution for 2, Rollins stuns Edge by driving him into the Turnbuckle, but he misses his knee strike into an Head Yank for 2. Edge goes up top but Rollins turns it into his Superplex/Falcon Arrow combo for 2, he sets up the Stomp but misses, tries the Pedigree but Edge wriggles out, Glam Slam by Edge for 2, nice homage for Beth there. Seth gets back the momentum though, Jawbreaker on the ropes then a neckbreaker on the ropes, Edge dodges the stomp on the apron though and throws Seth into the ring post (not ye olde ringpost though it's a different one) and then a spear through the ropes into the outside. A bulldog into the apron LED only gets 2, but now Edge is setting up the spear, but Rollins counters into a Pedigree (Pat mustn't have watched Roman vs Seth before because he said he has never seen that counter) but it only gets 2.

Rollins climbs up top looking for the Phoenix Splash, he lands on his feet and rolls away but walks into a spear, 1, 2, No. Edge now looking for the Killswitch but Rollins clubs then kicks Edge in the back of the head, he tries the Stomp but Edge rolls and catches the boot, turning it into an Edgecator, Seth reaches for the ropes so Edge tries to pull him back, but in releasing the hold he gets rolled up for 2. Edge then tries the Crossface, rolling to the center of the ring, but Edge slams his head into the mat and reapplies it for the tapout.

A nicely worked match again that managed to showcase a lot of Edge's past bag of tricks. The second I was wrong about too, I expected Seth to get some momentum to try and challenge Roman like he had been teasing before this feud (on that note, where's Cesaro? Miss that dude), but it was definitely something for the fans to cheer about. The narrative of avoiding the Stomp was also good for the storytelling, Seth doesn't lose anything in defeat either, he's took 2 spears, 2 crossfaces, Edgecator and the Edgecution.

MITB 22 is announced on 4th July at the Allegiant Stadium, Vegas (the same venue as tonight). Expect there to be a Murica match in there. In addition attendance today is 51k. We scope back around to Miz and Morrison's kickoff thing, mostly getting a jobber entrance. The moist jokes were worst this time around as they marketed the 'Drip Stick 2000' which neither had. Who did have it? A very wet and long-haired Xavier Woods with a cocktail stick in their mouth and a 'New Day Order' shirt. Woods convinces the crowd to rally into shooting them with a water gun, though it didn't really get a pop in the act, dumb shit really but whatever Woods' new look is I dig it.

WWE Championship: Bobby Lashley (w/MVP) (c) def. Goldberg (via Ref Stoppage) Lashers out first...no sanctity it seems. He's walking into the ring with purpose, his pose has no pyro though, kinda a lukewarm smoke that'd make Revolution 2020's explosion smirk. Goldberg does his usual entrance, lots of quick camera switching again. Dude looks a bit top-heavy tbh, skipping those leg days. Lashley paces across Goldberg's periphery, it doesn't look like there'll be underestimation in this fight.

They lock up first, a bit of strength testing, Goldberg tanks a shoulder block, grounding Lashley with a flying shoulder block, then a body slam. Goldberg is keeping the advantage with corner attacks and clotheslines but Lashley clubs at the back. He sets up a Jackhammer for insult to injury, but Goldberg keeps his leg hooked, he tries to lift Lashley but can't follow through and gets hit with a flatliner. No sympathy from Lashley as he clubs at the back of the head before uncharacteristically going up top, which Goldberg punishes by throwing him down, Goldberg looks for the Spear but MVP yanks Lashley outside, only for Goldberg to spear him on the outside anyway.

Goldberg sets up a second spear, but as the ref focuses on Lashley rolling out the other side, MVP thwacks Goldberg's knee with his cane, distracting Goldberg long enough to be chop blocked. Chokeslam makes Lashley look for the Hurt Lock, but he can't connect the fingers, as Goldberg escapes though he gets chop blocked again, causing Goldberg to leave the ring. Lashley follows, lifting him up and charging him knee first into the ring post twice. Struggling to stand, the Ref throws the match.

The match is over but Lashley continues to attack the leg with a steel chair. Gage Goldberg attempts to jump but gets wrenched with a Hurt Lock. MVP tries to assure that Lashley wouldn't have known that he was attacking Goldberg's son but it means little, Goldberg insisting he's gonna kill Lashley, meaning this feud isn't over.

The heat was right, the delivery was wrong. We've seen people beat Goldberg clean, I don't see why Lashley, who has beaten people who have beaten Goldberg clean, couldn't do that himself? Needing MVP's help flattens the statement made.

Camera work got a bit wonky there when promoting the Main Event

Universal Championship: Roman Reigns (c) def. John Cena (Pinfall via Spear) Cena's the first to come out, sporting a Super Mario-esque shirt showing his 16 world title reigns, the reigns also shown on the tron, they actually mentioned Ric Flair this time. The Bronze Statue hologram for Roman is still tacky, but he comes out flanked with his cousins and Paul, smoke again instead of pyro - I wonder if they weren't allowed to pyro. Heyman whispers the Usos to leave Roman to walk the ramp. I spotted an 'Anyone but you Roman' sign in the crowd, before McAfee makes me smirk again by calling Roman an 'absolute stud'.

Roman's a little ginger about locking up with Cena, but is goaded into it, winning the shoulder block. A second lock up leads to a Cena roll up for 1, trying to call back to the go home smackdown, another schoolboy for 2 but Roman laughs it off. Roman doesn't lock up again, kicking and clubbing at Cena while mocking the crowd, a lariat is reversed into another rollup for 2 but gets him back with a reverse lariat (he used the back of his arm, like a chop lariat), a Suplex by Roman leads to a 2 count, then the rest hold. Cena tries to break but Roman smacks him, another suplex for 2 then he dumps Cena out the ring, Cena blocks the punch and tries to flurry back, but is whipped into the steel steps. After some posturing Roman smacks Cena headfirst into the steps again, then posing with the belt as he claims that the crowd needs him, he saunters to the ring but walks into another schoolboy for 2, leading to another punch.

Roman insists that Cena can't win like this, but in his gloating Cena almost lifts him for the AA, which Roman counters into a DDT for 2. Roman almost looks bored, telling the hard cam that he's not apologetic about hurting Cena, Cena once again tries the forearms but when he tries the flying shoulder block he runs into an uppercut. Roman mocks Cena for having only five moves, but again it's a rollup for 2, this time Roman counters with a sleeper, Cena tries to fight but Roman puts his body weight on him, he tries again and Roman uses his weight again, only this time Cena launches him into the corner and follows up with a clothesline. Then come the shoulder tackles, the twisting front drop, but as he tiredly goes for the 5 Knuckle Shuffle, Roman snaps in the Guillotine, Cena tries the Jackknife pin for 2, the hold is broken but this time it's a Superman Punch. Roman wastes too much time though and his spear is countered with a kick, this time the 5 Knuckle Shuffle hits, AA, 1, 2, No. Heyman's having heart palpitations ringside but Cena's locked in the STF, Roman makes the rope to break the hold and leaves the ring, but as Cena looks to follow he's hit by a Drive By.

Roman looks to put Cena away with a Spear on the outside, but Cena counters it with an AA through the Announcer's Table, he drags Roman back into the ring but only gets the 2. Cena goes up top, looking for a dropkick maybe, but he's caught into a powerbomb for 2. Roman seems to be prepping his Superman Punch, but Cena rolls for 2, picks up for the AA but can't lift him all the way, allowing Roman to hit the Superman Punch for another 2. Roman is getting irritated now, Cena's been in his head after all, he goes for the Spear but meets ye olde ring post. Cena pulls Roman up for the Avalanche AA, he lands it, 1, 2, No! Cena taunts Roman this time, quoting his entrance theme then mocking the Oooowaaah, the Spear is cut off though, instead they trade blows, one Superman Punch, two Superman Punch, Roman declares he is WWE and lands the Spear, 1, 2, 3.

Roman stands over the prone Cena, but then the noise is heard. Brock Lesnar is in the building, and he still has the hipster look. Cameras lose control again as Heyman finds a conflict in interest, dude is absolutely jacked though. He approaches Roman in a staredown, but Roman just leaves the ring to close the night. Apparently off-air Lesnar then attacked Cena.

You know what would've made this match better? If the conclusion wasn't so forgone after Smackdown. Did anyone actually think that WWE would let Roman quit? At least before Roman's career was at stake there was a 10% chance Cena could leave as the winner, which would've made the nearfalls much more believable.

As for Lesnar, well, Vince always wanted Roman/Brock to be the main level feud and he's always getting his way. It'll draw, but it only puts paper over the submarine window that is the problem.

Conclusion

A good PPV though. I don't think there was any match that was awful. And that's kinda saying something with Eva Marie involved. Some segments and matches were, legless perhaps, stuff you could've be done with or even just put on Raw which is a shame because that took time from matches, as I said I would've liked to actually see Becky and Bianca wrestle and the Mysterios get more time.

The returns were good, I suppose Chicago definitely had nothing to do with that. But I'm not gonna be sad about seeing Becky Lynch again.

My main problem is probably how despite the big card, there was no doubt, I mean I got all but a couple of matches right on this card and it was because the matches were all built so obviously, those two frankly I predicted because I expected a bit more swerve. Part of it could be the fatigue of all the good wrestling we've seen so far but compared to other PPVs where I've felt on the edge of my seat or shaking in my ribs I just felt cosy, like it was a casual watch.

It was certainly not bad, definitely a good outing with good wrestling, but there is room still to improve on the narrative, and camera work like seriously learn to linger, immediate snap cuts throw people off. New directions are ahead to fulfill that so hopefully WWE can find a course to get back on.

[threeeyesslitthroat]

So I watched Chaos Walking(2021)

Yeah, lucky for me, my local theater was open and showing(side note, I love my local theater so much. Like, not to brag but seven dollars for a movie and a snack is so great)

Anyhow, I watched Chaos walking. This is sort of my review. 

First off, I read The Knife of Never Letting Go and one third of The Ask and Answer, almost two years ago. When they finally dropped the release date and the trailer, i made the choice not to go reread the first book because i wanted to give the movie a chance and make an exercise of managing my expectations(in preparation for Disney’s Percy Jackson adaptation). Which means not only do I not have a complete understanding of the source material, but I also have a shit memory, so I don’t have a great shot at analyzing this films in adaptation terms, but i’m gonna try anyhow.

So first off, The Noise.

I found it a bit sketchy that they decided to make the make Noise have visual elements alongside audio but I decided it was fine, since it be pretty hard to bring this to life with only just audio and not make general audiences confused.

But they did try and do a solid job. Minus not letting us hear the Noise of animals, which sucks. we do see the Noise of a Spackle, but briefly.

The part that really pisses me off is the final confrontation, when the Noise is treated like a Super Power. we see this when Todd scares Davy’s horse by conjuring up an image of big snake, when Mayor Prentiss tricks Viola into a false trap, when  Ben tricks everyone by pretending to give Viola up when in fact he’s buying Todd and the real Viola time to get away, and in the final, Todd distracts Prentiss by conjuring up the image of his mother(complete with bloody wounds) and the various women that died when he was a baby, which caused Prentiss to fall to his death.

I don’t know how the Noise is depicted in the later books, if it was anywhere remotely like this, but i know for sure it doesn’t happen in the first book, which the film is based on.

(Also, how the fuck does Todd know what his mum looks like, or any of the other women and how is he able to bring up their images so perfectly how is ANYONE ABLE REMEMBER SOMEONE WITH THAT MUCH DETAIL That goes beyond photographic memory)

Second bit, the Spackle.

 The design is boring. Its clearly an alien, buts its dark grey, tall, holds its own when Todd attacks it in the film, has zero impact on the film as a whole and pretty boring. I do recall reading the book and imagining them to have faces similar to real world lemurs or Sloths, with big expressive eyes and such, but the CGI monster doesn’t emote for shit in this film. Todd comes at with a knife with every intention of killing it and it shrugs him off and walks away like it wasn’t fucking attacked my gods.

But in short, they only brought up the Spackle because they’re a thing in the world and it teased the bigger concepts of the next books with like, one measly exchange between Todd and Viola. (it went something like this)

Viola:We’re the aliens, though. They’re the natives.

Todd: huh.

Third bit, New World itself. Not a big deal, It looked like how i originally imagined it, no mention of swamp apples, though we see Todd Hewitt use a knife to stab a big ass bug thing for food. i hear some critics consider it lame that the planet isn’t actually alien but eh, whatever, Didn’t really feel an alien vibe reading the book so it doesn’t matter. 

Now there’s one bit i have to acknowledge in passing. At one point Todd decides to go get lunch by going into the water with his knife and wrestles with some big ass thing with tentacles. Which is fine, just have a couple of questions.

A: is this in reference to the books? Where there big ass tentacle creatures in the novel that are hunted for lunch?

B:if not, was this the film makers deciding to remind the viewers that yes, they are not on planet earth and to make Todd look cooler and justify why he’s useful for the quest and show how much Viola doesn’t know?

I kinda have to acknowledge the thing.  In that scene, Todd and Viola take a break, and Todd removes his clothes (all of them) and decides to go hunting in the water naked as the day he was born. You may have noticed that the Tom Holland stans are all over this scene because One) the camera focuses on Tom Hollands muscles when he takes his top off and Two) one can see his bare ass in the distance. 

Not a big fan off this, just find it interesting because its the most recent example of a Male being objectified by the camera when this never happens once to any of the female characters in the film, including Viola. Also, a touch of weird character detailing because haha, get it? Boy’s never seen a girl before in his life and doesn’t know what modesty means.

Also, very weird because Todd Hewitt in the book was so fucking self conscious that he would never have done that. 

Now I gotta talk about the characters.

( i understand why they aged them up, i truly do, better to get established actors instead of child actors that could more easily break to movie than sell it. its easier to make movies with legal adults instead of working with child labor laws. but damn it you lose so much of the fucking nuance of the novel when you age them up. There’s so much shit that makes an impact because of how young they are. Around the ages of eleven and twelve is when ones understanding of good and evil has its foundation, to me it was like the story was grappling with Todd Hewitt’s very soul and you lose so much of that when you change it to them being older because instead of being just kids in fucked up situations its younger adults in messed up situations. Like ugh. and aging them up leads to even more problems but we’ll fucking get to that)

Tom Holland’s Todd Hewitt is not the Todd Hewitt of the novel. He just ain’t. There is nothing there that reminds of the boy. The acting is solid, don’t get me wrong, but it just ain’t the Todd Hewitt i remember. Neither is Daisy Ridley’s Viola Eade.

(excuse me while i get Percy Jackson flashbacks)

Now, I have to acknowledge the fact that neither actor(actually none of the actors in this film) slouch on the job. They bring solid and at times very good acting.(If Tom Holland is in the film, its not going to be complete waste of time. He brings quality.)

Honestly, respect to Mr Holland because he was basically the main character, not only acting but also doing voice  and various stunts(also huge credit to the stunt coordinators and stuntmen) and I heard that filming wasn’t that great and bloody broke his nose how many times like damn boy, hats off to you.

But here’s the thing. I don’t want to say that Holland was playing himself or just a version of peter Parker, because i really don’t think he wasn’t but it just. Didn’t feel like a legit character? Especially when compared to the novel. Like Todd Hewitt in the novel is such a raw force of emotion and such a smartass and i was so looking forward for Holland to own this role but in the movie he just? Awkward dude going through some stuff?

but yeah, Holland works his ass off and there are some scenes and moments in the movie that work just because this fellow is just that charming, so (shrug emoji) like i said, He doesn’t waste your time at least.

Ridley....sigh. i know this woman can act. But next to the character who’s thoughts are heard constantly she’s very boring. And it hurts so much because Viola has an actual personality in the novel like; I’m ninety percent sure that Viola hits Todd with a big stick and I do remember that there were multiple moments where she lets Todd know when he’s being a dumbass.(seriously, i may have a shit memory of the book, but i do remember that they play off each other well and hugely entertaining seeing two twelve-year-olds handle the shit getting thrown at them)

Like, Viola in the film doesn’t really have much going on. We see the crash, we hear about the graves she dug herself, we see her be sad, we see her look at Todd like weirdo, we see her look horrified or shocked. (its so sad that I only remember the facial expressions more clearly than the actual dialogue) We really have no idea what the hell is going on with Viola Eade. I don’t think we can blame Ridley, only the film makers, because how can you see Viola Eade in the novel and then turn her into that????

i do have to talk about the relationship between Tom Holland’s Todd Hewitt and Daisy Ridley’s Viola Eade, even though its painful. In the novel, them is just two kids on a really tough adventure.  Because they aged them up, its not two kids old enough to run for the playground when recess starts. Its Teenagers. 

First question, HOW OLD ARE THEY??? Is Todd sixteen? Eighteen? Seventeen? He sure as hell ain’t Thirteen in this. What about Viola? I mean, big shout out to the hair and makeup team for making 28-year-old Daisy Ridley look so much younger but how. OLD. IS.SHE? Nineteen? Twenty? Twenty-one? Pretty sure she’s older than him in this? I ask because it MATTERS.

The way they play off each other has a vastly different energy to the novel because they are aged up. Its pretty obvious pretty fast that Todd’s feelings are basically a big crush, though not all of it is superficial as the film progresses. And Viola is clearly not receptive to that in the film. (honestly i cringed so hard at the “daydream kiss’ and whatever the hell that was in the Farbranch mayor’s house)

The relationship in the film just doesn’t have the nuance or the energy that the novel had in depicting their relationship which is depressing for all the Todd x Viola fans i’m sure. There’s some adorable bits though, like Viola seeing Todd’s dream of her playing with Manchee, and not so adorable canon bits like when Viola read the diary to Todd.

I’m just grateful that the film at least ended with them being friends instead of trying to force the romantic relationship. That right there is why I like the movie. It’s a crush, its used for a couple laughs, they’re friends, its fine. Even if you didn’t read the novel that’s really great for a movie in this day and age to not end with forcing two opposite sex characters into a relationship. To be honest, I like the idea that the film leaves us thinking that yeah, maybe these two could be real friends one day.

I just want to touch on Manchee real quick.

Manchee’s Noise is not seen or heard in the film. It is briefly acknowledged by Todd ins their first scene but other than that? Nada. Which is a low blow in comparison to the novel because Manchee was a character in his own right, which is why the death hit so hard. 

Todd?” he barks, confused and scared and watching me leave him behind. “Todd?” “Manchee!” I scream. Aaron brings his free hand towards my dog. “MANCHEE!” “Todd?” And Aaron wrenches his arms and there’s a CRACK and a scream and a cut-off yelp that tears my heart in two forever and forever. And the pain is too much it’s too much it’s too much and my hands are on my head and I’m rearing back and my mouth is open in a never-ending wordless wail of all the blackness that’s inside of me.”

in the film, it takes place in white rapids, So its chaotic, its awful, the veiwer’s all stressed out because Viola can’t swim, everyone's getting separated and Aaron’s there and he is seen drowning Manchee. 

Dude, its brief, but not pretty. Because you can see Manchee’s legs trashing above the water, struggling to get free. Aaron is drowning a dog, letting its lungs fill with water. For the folks that don’t like watching dogs die in graphic detail on screen, this isn’t great. 

Personally, I love this scene in the novel. Its the first time i had to put the book down and take a moment. It hit really close to home for me, because i watched my own dog die in real life. It was emotional and horrifying and had such a fucking impact because we could hear his thoughts. Todd had to make the choice to leave him behind to keep Viola safe. To be honest, i think the death is better in the novel, since Manchee basically dies instantly instead of drowning, which takes time(I’ve always assumed that his neck was snapped but I’ve heard others say it was the psine but whatever) it would have been easy and necessary for them to not show that on screen. I personally just think that in terms of depicting a violent death, the novel did a lot better.

Anyway, on to the other characters

(I had to choose the one with the big orange fluffy coat, and i couldn’t find a good pic og Ben and Cillian on google images.)

As for Mayor Prentiss, he’s played by Mads Mikkelsen, and he delivers. But for the most part, we don’t really know why he’s the bad guy, he just wants to get Viola because “she’s the key” which isn’t really explained, and at the end he tries his hardest to kill Todd. 

Because i only read the first book, I don’t know what exactly his character arc is. And since its been a really long while, I don’t remember what he’s like in the novel regardless, other than the cliffhanger ending.

I did take a quick crashcourse  through the wiki and it turns out that Todd and Prentiss have a relationship in the later books, which the film sort of touches on, because Todd looks up to Prentiss in the film from the get go. 

To be honest, I knew that the trilogy was a lot more complex, and even though I didn’t read the whole thing I knew it would be really disappointing for the fans to see the mayor be hollowed out to almost unrecognizable and not getting to see the whole picture on screen.

As for Davy Prentiss Jr., he was an asshole and stayed an asshole. I know he improves and gets killed off in the novels, so yeah, exhibit B of character foundations not being laid down because there isn’t gonna be a movie after this. Also, why is he played by Nick Jonas? Did they actually have more in mind for him when they decided to go with a Jonas brother or was it just star power? 

As for Aaron...don’t have much to say about him, other than just being pretty weird fit to the film. I think he’s after Viola because he’s just that full of delusions but other than that, his character is just flat and useless. (I wish to the gods that writers would actually think instead of going with “religious delusion” to explain insanity) He only brought tension in a few scenes for the most part. I’m pretty sure that in the novel Todd and Aaron have a confrontation, like the final fight of the novel, and I’m 90% sure that its where the Novel gets the Knife of never Letting Go as its title, because the knife is big deal at that point. But I guess they wanted Viola to have a quick boss battle for the ending and set him on fire. 

Ben and Cillian were fine. They did a good job, the actors were pretty great, I liked Cillian, and i like how they acknowledged that these dudes were family(i know that they’re gay and a couple but the film doesn’t say it outloud beyond letting them sleep in the same bed, be Todd’s parents, and having Ben hold Cillian in his arms) I get a kick out of the fact that the official reviews by Movie Critics are openly curious about why the film doesn’t make it more obvious that they’re gay, but whatever.

As for the overall plot, this is a fine example of mashing three books into one film and not having good results. Instead of going to Haven, the movie decided to shortcut the ending and go to the original ship that somehow has working tech but whatever, Viola needs to communicate to her ship. So not only do we not get the great relationship between Todd and Viola, not only do we not get the Spackle, Not only do we not get to see the noise of Manchee, not only do we have poor character adaptation, we also don’t get to have a plot that matches THE ONE BOOK THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO ADAPT. THEY HAD ONE FUCKING JOB AND THEY COULDN'T ADAPT THE ONE BOOK-

Its only so sad that they decided that this was going to be a one-shot deal because they didn’t have faith in the film and chose to have all the threads tied up. I mean, its so sad for the fans because the movie makes it very clear that we are not going to have anymore movies. sigh. 

slight respect towards the film makers for tying up all the story threads instead of leaving them hanging. they did a neat job, even if it wasn’t a great one.

Anyway, maybe later on when google images has more than the promotional material I’ll do a review of only the good stuff this movie did, even if its a sad pathetic failure of an adaptation. Anyway this review is a bit of a mess and already so long so i’ll stop now. 

May the gods give us strength against all the Tom Holland stans that will inevitably clog up the Chaos Walking tag with their Todd Hewitt x reader fanfics.

[rocksandrobots]

Of Rocks and Robots Ch. 34 - Wrestlers, Boxers, and Ninjas, Oh My (Part 1)

The large indoor arena was crowded. People stood or were seated elbow to elbow. Many held homemade signs, fair food, and gaudy memorabilia that signified their support of the athletes who were to participate in today's sporting event.

Varian scooted past the spectators apologetically as he made his way to his own seat carrying a bucket of popcorn, trying his best not to spill any. Honey Lemon waved to him and rescued the popcorn bucket from his arms as he slumped into the chair next to her, relieved to not have to try and force his way through the crowd again anytime soon.

"You made it back just in time!" She chirped as she took a bite of the salty snack. "The match is about to start!"

"Yeah, first up is the Murderous Marauder vs the Venomous Vanguard!" Fred chimed in reaching over and snagging a handful of popcorn for himself.

"Wait, I never heard of them. Are they new?" Honey Lemon asked.

"Uh...no... I couldn't get tickets to a mecha-wrestling event and this is just a regular wrestling event, but it's still cool." Fred blurted out.

Honey Lemon only pouted.

"Look, it's the same thing. Just instead of mecha suits they use their own bodies to beat each other up. Who needs super awesome robot suits anyways?"

Honey Lemon raised an eyebrow. "Mole blocked you from the Mecha league didn't he."

"Yes!!!" Fred half sobbed and half yelled.

Varian rolled his eyes and then tried to move the conversation back on topic. "So what you're saying is that this is a hand to hand combat tournament."

"Yeah exactly," Fred confirmed ", along with the occasional chair."

"The what?"

Varian didn't get an answer to his question though as just then the lights dimmed and the crowd went quiet. He looked down to the center of the arena. Spotlights flooded the middle of a boxing ring and music began to blare. More lights began to swoop across the stage at the far end, all various colors, shapes, and patterns that changed in time with the music. The crowd began to stomp and clap in time to the music and Varian looked to his friends who were joining in. Honey Lemon flashed him a grin and encouraged him to do so as well.

Varain did but he couldn't help but laugh at the ridiculousness of it while he did so. He had never seen a tournament nor brawl with this much fan fair before. Oh watching a good fight was a popular pastime in Corona to be sure, but most were held outdoors; with most of the crowds gathered around standing and jeering, unless you were of nobility.

Varian himself would usually just climb to the top of a nearby tree to look on, and the only music to be had was maybe a trumpeter to single the start of the event. But then again Corona never had loudspeakers nor a state of the art LED lights display to show off.

A man smartly dressed in a business suit stepped out from behind a curtain and onto the stage. The crowd started to cheer and clap as he walked down the ramp to the ring in the center. He waved to everyone and the music died down as he spoke into a microphone.

"Welcome everyone. Are you ready tonight?." He paused as the crowd cheered back in answer. " Good. Cause, let's get ready to rumble!!!"

Everyone screamed at once. Varian just about jumped out of his skin as Honey Lemon let out a high pitched whoop right next to his ear along with the rest of spectators. The music blared back up again and the crowd went wild.

"First up tonight we have the guardian of the keep, the venger of wrongs, the noble knight of the ring, it's the Venomous Vanguard!"

Out from behind the curtain stepped a tall slender man dressed in a silver tunic and tights. He wore a knight's helmet, long boots, and a red robe trimmed with white fur on which the image of a green cobra was printed on the back. He was flanked by two pretty girls wearing matching silver bathing suits and they carried banners that held the same emblem as his robe.

The crowd cheered once more as he entered the ring and the vanguard victoriously held the sword he was carrying aloft in the air. More women rushed out to relieve him of said sword and robe and the Venomous Vanguard removed his helmet to reveal a handsome young man with blonde curls, big brown eyes, and a crooked smile that he flashed at some of the ladies in the stands. More cheers and even some whistling could be heard from the audience.

The Vanguard then took the mic from the announcer and made some grand speech about justice, and vengeance, and boastful claims about how he'd win tonight's match because of his righteous agenda and blah, blah, blah…

Varian rolled his eyes at the display of vibrato. He leaned close to Honey Lemon and whispered, "Can you believe this guy?"

"Hmm-mm" She absently hummed but seemed to barely notice Varian's presence. She sat at the edge of her seat, eyes fixed on the stage, utterly enraptured by the proceedings. Then when the Vanguard concluded his speech and raised his sword in the air once more she loudly cheered with the rest of the crowd.

Varian slumped back disheartened and a little more than jealous of the looks his crush gave the phoney knight.

"It's not even a real sword." He muttered under his breath.

He was distracted from his despondence when the music flared up once more and someone else stepped out on stage.

"Uh-oh! Here comes the Murderous Marauder!" The announcer proclaimed. "And it looks like he's out for blood tonight!"

There were some more cheers but mostly boos as the challenger made his way to the ring. Varian however studied this newcomer with interest.

He was dressed entirely in black leather, save for his massive arms which were bare. His long black hair was wild and matched his long unkempt beard. He marched up to the vanguard ignoring the jeers thrown his way and then paused for effect as the room quietened.

He was shorter than the knight but buffer and looked capable of breaking the other man in two. However, once the noise had died down, he didn't attack but instead gave a scathing taunt.

"Are you compensating for something with that big sword Sir. Hams-a-lot?"

The crowd oohed and a few booed, but Varian just laughed. He liked this newcomer and decided then and there to cheer on the challenger who promised to put the pompous paladin in his place.

Honey Lemon however was less appreciative of the Marauder's gumption. As the fight began proper she joined in with the majority of the audience in jeering the challenger.

"Boooooh! Take him down Vanguard!"

"O-oh yeah! Well…Tie him in knots Marauder!" Varian shot back.

Honey Lemon paused and looked at him in surprise and he returned the stare blankly wondering momentarily if he had done something wrong. Yet his fears were abated when she tilted her head  and tried her best to unsuccessfully suppress a smile as she narrowed her eyes at him challengingly. He arched an eyebrow and his own lips slid into a smirk. Then suddenly a new competition was underway running adjacent to the one going on the ring as Varian and Honey Lemon tried to one up each other in taunts and good natured jabs as each cheered on their favored competitor.

Each flip, kick, punch, and headlock was met with jubilation and derision in equal measure as the teens watched on. Fred even joined in their game, switching sides whenever he felt like it, just happy to be there.

Varain had to admit though that he didn't fully grasp the rules of the sport. The fight was very different from any wrestling match he'd ever seen. There was far more acrobatics and punches involved then in like a grudge match in say a tavern where the combatants held on to each other tightly as they tried to push the other down and pin them to ground. Yet he didn't question this American style of combat until the Vanguard was pushed out of the ring.

Varian thought that would be the end of it but neither the referee nor the announcer called the match. Instead there was another flurry of insults and the Vanguard marched back over towards his stuff lying across a folding chair.

"Show him what that sword is really for, Vanguard!"

"Yeah! As decoration for his tombstone!"

But once again Varian was confused when the 'knight' didn't grab the plastic weapon but the chair itself. He then threw it at the Marauder while his back was turned.

The crowd cheered but Varian could barely form words as his anger overtook him. "That son- He-- Did you see that?! He cheated ! Where's the referee? Is he blind? I hope you now realize that jerk isn't a good guy.'

"Dude chill," Fred said, "it's just a prop. It's all part of the show."

"Show?"

"All of wrestling is fake." Honey Lemon gently explained. "No one really gets hurt. That's why it's fun."  Then as soon as she was done with this explanation she snapped her attention right back to the fight and leaned over the railing to shout "Dig his grave!" as the Vanguard pulled the Marauder around comedically by his long hair.

It took a moment or two to process this new information and to say Varian was more than a little embarrassed for being so easily taken in by the theatrics would be an understatement. Yet his shame was forgotten as quickly as it had arrived as he watched the pretty redhead bounce up and down, face flushed with excitement, crowing with joy as her favored opponent was deemed the winner. She flashed him the biggest and smuggest grin ever and he melted. What he wouldn't do to see that smile on her face always. 

                                                  -----------------------

Three more matches came and went. There was a tag team event with four lovely and scantily clad ladies, a 'spontaneous' fight backstage that spilled out into the actual ring between a team of two brothers who now wanted to go separate ways, and finally a premiere event debuting the newest wrestler to join the league.

"I want all of you to extend a big hand to El Agua!" The announcer proclaimed as a large muscular man wearing a blue and white luchador's mask walked down the ramp. He thanked the announcer and took the mic from him.

"Thank you Senor Stouffuer, and thank you WWF, for having me here tonight and giving me a second chance." His thick Spanish accent dripped with heavy remorse. "You know, I had a hard time there, a while back I got real low. I couldn't fight. I lost my sense of purpose. But now I'm back and I am ready to kick some las nalgas!"

At this triumphant proclamation the crowd cheered. Varian had to admit he was intrigued. He didn't know this guy's story but he sounded more sincere than many of the other performers. However neither Honey Lemon nor Fred seemed too impressed. In fact they looked like they were in shock.

Honey Lemon leaned over towards Varian and Fred. "Freddie... you don't think that's…" She didn't finish her sentence but instead pointed down at the ring where at, El Agua stood.

"No idea," Fred softly answered back, his eyes never leaving the wrestler as he also leaned his head towards Honey Lemon. "It certainly seems like it…"

Varain ducked his head down to where the two met to try and get in on the conversation. "Hey, why are we whispering?"

"Oh, nothing" Honey Lemon hastily dismissed, "the new guy just seemed familiar that's all."

"Yeah, he could have come over from the Mecha league or something." Fred agreed and that was the end of the discussion.

They finished watching the last match, El Agua defeated his opponent, The Sandman, and they all filed out of the arena with the rest of the crowd.

"You know, that was inspiring." Fred said as they walked out into the night air. "I know it's not real but I bet we could, like, maybe alter some of those wrestler moves into our crime fighting routine."

Fred air motioned some fake karate chops to demonstrate.

Honey Lemon stifled a giggle as she tried to be supportive. "Well, it does take a lot of athleticism and skill to pull off those moves so perhaps."

Varian snorted, "Yeah and they actually train for it."

Fred looked offended."Whatta mean!? We train all the time."

Varian rolled his eyes, "You run around and jump. You haven't the muscle to pull off those stunts where you lift and ground pound people."

Fred pouted and intensely examined his biceps. Meanwhile Varian caught Honey Lemon glaring disapprovingly at him so he hastily tried to save himself. "And I can say that cause I'm as scrawny as a twig."

Honey Lemon opened her mouth to retort but Fred stopped her.

"No, he's right HL, we could stand to work on our strength exercises."

"Well, I just meant you actually." Varian corrected but Fred didn't seem to hear him.

"Tomorrow morning we start a new training regime!" He declared, "We'll meet at the gym at five o'clock sharp!"

He marched off leaving Honey Lemon and Varian to exchange confused looks with each other.

                                                 -----------------------

"Why are we here again?" Gogo asked annoyed.

"And why are we here so early?" Hiro yawned.

The gang stood right outside of the gym as the sun began to rise, still groggy from sleep and wholly unamused by Fred's latest grand scheme.

"It has come to my attention that we are slacking in our anaerobic exercises."

"But I already weight lift.." Wasabi pointed out.

Fred ignored him. "In order to be the best crime fighters we can be, we need to explore all avenues of self improvement. Leave no stone unturned... "

"But I'm not a crime fighter." Varian interject. This too was ignored.

"...No river unforged, no ocean unnavigated.."

"Alright we get it Fred." Hiro exasperated.

"Look if you wanna "self improve" yourself go right ahead, but we're going back to bed." Gogo said.

Fred gave her the most pitiful of pleading  looks, but she remained stoned faced.

"A little exercise never hurt anybody." Honey Lemon timidly encouraged trying to smooth over any arguments before they could start. "I mean, after all, we're already here."

Gogo rolled her eyes but relented anyways. She dragged herself towards the front doors with the rest of the gang reluctantly following after her save for Fred who bounded ahead like an excitable puppy dog.

"It'll be great, you'll see." He enthused.

Inside of the gym were rows upon rows of various exercising equipment, a second balcony floor with even more exercising machines, a weight lifting corner full of iron weights of different sizes and shapes, numerous side rooms with large windows that housed other activities separate from the rest of the gym, such as basketball or a yoga class, and at the very front entrance stood a counter where two people were engaged in conversion.

Hiro at least seemed to know one of these people.

"Hey Carl!" He called out and the large man with a goatee and a red bandana wrapped around his head waved back.

In fact everyone seemed to know him but Varian.

"Hi Felony Carl!" Honey Lemon reiterated Hiro's earlier greeting as they came closer to the desk.

"Why hello, if it isn't my two lovely neighbors and their esteemed colleges. What do I owe for today's good fortune." The man calmly greeted them with a smile and a gentle, measured tone that belied his gruff exterior.

"We're here to get whipped into shape!" Fred cheered.

Gogo rolled her eyes at that but addressed Carl instead of venting her frustrations for a second time. "So how about you, did you get dragged here by Globby to "improve your crime fighting technique."

Carl chuckled "Oh no, Globs leaves me out of the superheroing gig. Says he doesn't want me getting hurt. Which is fine by me, I'm not one for the limelight. However you might say I'm here for self improvement. Since my beloved partner and I have decided to reform ourselves and enter domesticated life together, I've thought it time to enter into more respectable employment. You're looking at the newest personal trainer for this fine establishment." With this he pointed to the name tag pinned to his vest.

"That's great man, good for you." Wasabi congratulated.

"Yay, I'm so happy for you. I know you've been looking for work for awhile now." Honey Lemon added.

"Way to go, Carl." Gogo gave the man a fist bump.

"Thank you. Yup, no more shady side jobs from Yama for me. I'm here early to set up for my first boxing class. There's plenty of spots left on the sign up sheet." He held up a clipboard with a list of names.  

"Sorry, Carl but I don't know if that's on Fred's agenda." Hiro apologized.

"Hmm maybe not today," Fred agreed, "but I'll put boxing down on the list of self defense techniques we'll want to learn. Today however is all about building up muscle." He then struck a pose as he flexed his biceps.

Wasabi sighed, "Fine, I'll teach you some weight lifting basics. Follow me. Bye, Carl."

"Yeah see a later Felony Carl!" Fred shouted back as he followed Wasabi.

"Ok. You kids have fun." Carl said as the gang walked away, "I'm going to go finish setting up."

As they neared the weight lifting section Honey Lemon exclaimed, "Ooh a racket ball court just opened up. Lets play a game!" She grabbed Gogo by the wrist and pulled the other girl along, who made no effort to resist as she was too tired to care.

Varian paused as he watched the group split in two and wondered who he should go with. He had felt out of the loop all morning long. He wasn't a superhero like the rest of his friends, quite the opposite in fact, and so had been confused when Fred insisted he'd come along to the training session. In truth Varian wasn't thrilled by the idea of lifting heavy objects for hours on end with no end goal in sight. At least when his dad asked him to do that with the hay bails back on the farm there was an actual purpose to it.

The racket ball game sounded far more fun but he didn't know if he'd be allowed to join since Honey Lemon had asked Gogo specifically and he didn't even know how it was played nor how many people could play at once.

Not to mention, back when meeting with the gentleman named Carl, he had been utterly lost as to what everybody was talking about, and no one had bothered to explain nor even introduce him, which made Varian feel even more left out.

So he just stood there feeling every bit the fool as his friends continued to not even notice his absence as they launched straight into their activities.

Well maybe he could just find something on his own to do until time to leave. Yet as his eyes scanned the rows of unfamiliar equipment and exercising machines he couldn't even figure that part out.

Then he saw Carl through the window of one of the classrooms. The man was trying to set what looked like a tall sandbag onto a hook on the ceiling. It also looked heavy and Varian watched as he dropped the thing on the floor and had to pick up again, clearly straining with the weight of it.

"Need help?" Varian asked as he entered the room.

"Thanks.. but.. this is real.. heavy kid." He huffed as he went to place the bag on the hook again.

Varian ignored his dismissal and went to hold the lower half of the bag so that the other man could focus better on hooking the thing.

He looked surprised at Varian's instance but said nothing, only giving a grateful nod as he finished the task at hand. Once done he said, "You know you're stronger than you look, kid. Name's Felony Carl, but my friends just call me Carl."

They shook hands and Varian introduced himself.

"Varian hun, you came in with the rest of those college kids didn't ya?"

"Yeah, we all go to school together, and I've been staying with Hiro and his aunt during the meantime."  

"Ah, I see." Carl walked over to grab another boxing bag and Varian rushed over to help him lift that one as well. "I'm Gogo and Honey Lemon's next door neighbor. That's how we know each other. Well that and my boyfriend, Globby, sometimes works with them. You know, protecting the city and all that jazz."

"Oh I don't do any of that superhero stuff. That's probably why I've not met him yet." Varian explained.  

They hooked the second bag and Varian hurried over to pick up two more. He slung one over his shoulder and tucked another up under his arm.

"Where would you like these?" He asked, ever helpful.

Carl didn't respond at first. He just stood there and stared at the time-displaced teen in shock, and Varian was afraid for a second that he had done something wrong. However the man quickly recovered his quits and answered, "Uh, just...just place them over there, please."

"Okay." Varian obliged and dumped the two punching bags onto the floor in the opposite corner. He then quickly got to work hanging one of them before Carl could even join him.

"You...you lift weights or something?" He casually asked as they hung up the second bag.

"Oh no." Varian replied. "I don't see the appeal honestly."

"So what are ya into? Track? Football? Pilates?"

"I...I don't even know what half of those things are." Varian admitted. "There wasn't a whole lot of time for sports back in Corona, not after all the chores were done. Once you plowed a field all day you don't feel much like running around."

"Ah, so you're a farm boy. I understand. My grandmother used to have a small farm when I was kid; real peaceful up there."

They finished hanging the last of the punching bags.

"Well thank you for the help. Now all there is to do is wait to see if anybody shows up for the class." Carl said.

"You don't have anybody signed up yet?"

"Eh, one or two, if they decide to come. Its a new class. It takes time to get these things going."

"Ah" Varian acknowledged, followed by an awkward pause where he didn't know what to say or do next. He thought for a moment he might just excuse himself and just get out of the way of the man and leave him to his class but Carl interrupted this thought.

"Have ya, ever tried boxing before?"

"Well..no…. I mean I've been in a fight or two, or twelve, but I'm not very good at actually, you know, punching people." Varian half heartedly mimed of throwing a punch as he stumbled over this explanation.

"Trouble with bullies hun?" Carl knowingly replied.

"Uuuh… you might, could say that."

"Here show me your best punch. I'll tell ya how to improve it." Carl walked over to one of the punching bags and held it steady.

Varian hesitated for a moment, unsure if he should partake in an impromptu boxing lesson when he was sure the man had more important things to do, like teaching actual paying customers perhaps, but Carl was insistent.

"Ok head hit the bag as hard as you can."

So Varían did. It was just as unimpressive as he feared.

"Awe, I know you got more strength in ya than that. Go ahead really slug it. Like if you was cornered by one of those bullies."

Varian tried to recall the one time he threw an unsuspecting punch at a guard who was chasing him. He had been trying to hide in the crowd but was soon spotted. He felt the man grab him by the shirt collar and yank him back as he tried to get away. So Varian had, on instinct, blindly bopped the man right on the nose.

It hadn't really hurt the other guy, Varian was sure it surprised him more than anything, since at the time he wasn't deemed the most wanted criminal in the land yet, but nevertheless it had held off his attackers long enough to get away.

It had been terrifying, and Varian threw the memory of that feeling into his second throw. This time he had managed to push Carl, who held tightly to the other side of the punching bag, a step backwards.

"Hey, now that's more like it. Now for your technique. Your stance is pretty good, just don't plant your feet so firmly to the ground. You gotta be able to move. So on your toes. Yeah like that, and hold your fist more like this."

Varian did as he was told and threw some more practice hits. Every once in a while Carl would throw out a new instruction or bit of advice that Varian would follow up on. Soon he found a rhythm and the action came more naturally to him as he began to loosen up.

"Now ya gettin' it kid. Try side stepping to the right."

Varian did so and threw another punch.

"Good, now the left. Ok, right. Left. Right. Left. Repeat. Don't focus too much on where you're putting your foot. Keep your eyes up. In a real fight you gotta be aware of your opponent at all times."

Varian didn't answer back. He was too busy trying to both process all of this new information while also trying to implement it and keep up the steady pace he had going. But he felt himself slowing down anyways as he began to tire.

"You're doing great," Carl encouraged, "but don't forget to make your punches count. Your hits are weakening some; don't be afraid to put some muscle into it. Don't worry you won't hurt me. I'm standing behind this heavy bag, remember?"

Finally Varian paused in his exercise and half collapsed against the punching bag. He wasn't sure what Carl meant by "put some muscle into it". He was already hitting the thing as hard as he could.

"Tired?" Carl asked.

All Varian could do was nod his head as he was out of breath.

"Alright take a break and get you a drink. I brought bottled water for the class."

Varian tried to catch his breath and relax the tension in his shoulders as he procured one of the waters. However it appeared Carl wasn't done with the lesson cause no sooner had Varian took a sip the other man was already launching into another lesson on certain techniques and the basic history of his chosen sport.  

Varian did his best to listen as he nursed his bottle of water. However, he was vaguely starting to question to himself what he was even doing here. He was not a fighter. Sure he'd been in a few scrapes before.. Ok more like several life or death conflicts…but he was always hopelessly outmatched physically and usually relied on his other strengths, his quick wits and inventions, to carry him through. So far they had been more than enough...so far... or maybe he'd just been lucky. It couldn't hurt to learn a little self defense.

After a while Carl ramped down his lecture and asked Varian if he was ready to try again. Varian nodded yes.

"Okay, now imagine this punching bag here is the biggest meanest bully you've ever faced. Now what do you do?"

"Run?"

"Well usually yes, but what if you can't safely get away?"

"Fight or distract until you can get away."

"Correct, and the first thing you do when preparing to fight is to defend yourself. So here are some blocking stances in case the guy comes at you."

Carl walked him through some basic poses; arms up, on your toes, keep your face shielded etc. Confident that Varian was getting the hang of these, he motioned Varian to come closer to the punching bag.

"Now remember, the biggest meanest ugliest bully you can think of."

Varian looked up at the hanging sandbag and immediately his mind's eye flashed back to his arrest, with King Frederic looming over him as the guards men slapped cuffs onto his wrists. The imposing figure towered over him, all noble and proud, full of smug self righteousness and nothing but contempt for Varian's continued existence.

"The boy needs help. Take him away and see that he is fed and kept somewhere safe." The monarch lied.  

"Food" was nothing but stale bread and water, sometimes gruel if you were lucky, for months on end. "Safe" was a dark dank dungeon cell where you were ignored no matter how freezing cold the nights got. And "help"? Well "help" was merely not killing you but letting you know at every opportunity that they could take your life away if you didn't express enough gratitude for their so-called "mercy."

Oh what Varian wouldn't give to punch the dictator right in the mouth and put a crack in the man's charitable façade.

And so he did. At least in his imagination. The punching bag swung wide with the force of Varian's connecting hit and Carl quickly stepped back in surprise. Not that Varian noticed.

He was no longer in the gym or even San Fansokyo but back in his lab next to his fathers corpse facing down the royals he thought responsible for all his misery and woe. It was like a floodgate had been open and all his pent up rage, all his sadness and hopelessness from the past two years, came pouring out of him in gushing torrents and into his fists as he feverishly pounded away at the boxing bag.

It was only when the punching bag flew off its hook from shear force that Varian snapped back to reality.

He stood there shocked at the broken equipment for a moment until he became keenly aware of Carl's eyes studying him closely. Embarrassed, Varian turned to leave, probably to run home or back to the school, but Carl stopped him.

"Hey…hey …it's ok." The man soothed. "It's just an accident. All we gotta do is hang it up again."

Varian didn't answer as his eyes darted about looking desperately for something to focus on other than the instructor's pitying face.

"Wanna talk about what happened there?"

"No."

"Alright, you wanna tell me about this bully that's been bothering you? Do you need help?"

"No."

"Do you wanna learn some more self defense, or maybe even just come by and vent your frustrations on this here sack of cloth filled with sand? No judging; no prying questions; I'm just here to do my job."

Again Varian didn't answer but he did finally manage to relax enough to look the other man in the eye.

"How old are, kid?"

"Sixteen."

Carl nodded knowingly as if this explained everything. He then turned around and walked over to where he kept his supplies and pulled out a sheet of paper from his clipboard.

"This is a permission slip. You get your guardian or whoever is looking out for you to sign this and then you can come to my class regularly. I hold three boxing lessons throughout the week, you can come to as many or as little as you want, whatever works for you and you can stop whenever. Though I usually recommend coming to at least six courses if you really want to learn something."

Varian mulled over the paper Carl handed to him.

"Can... can I come again later this week?"

"Sure thing, so long as you get that form signed."

"Alright I'll get my aunt to sign it."

Just then a couple of people walked in. "Hey is this the boxing class?" One asked and Varian took this as an opportunity to excuse himself and reunite with his friends.

                                                 -----------------------

"Who's ready for my patented mumbo jumbo gumbo!?" Aunt Cass called out carrying three steaming hot bowls of soup to the table.

"I don't know what that is but it smells delicious." Varian complimented as she placed the stew before him.

She sat a second bowl in front of Hiro who let out a pitiful groan as he reached for his spoon.

"What's wrong with you?" She asked.

"We went to the gym today." Hiro moaned after taking a bite of the gumbo.

"Oh so you got a workout today, hun?" Aunt Cass asked in her chipper manner.

Hiro closed his eyes and slowly leaned his head back in an exaggerated fashion. "Everything hurts and I want to die."

"It is normal to experience soreness when exercising muscles that you rarely use." Baymax piped in helpfully. "It is recommended to stretch before every exercise routine and participate in a cool down session afterwards. To alleviate aches and pains several remedies such as ice, heat, rest, anti-inflammatory medication, and massages can be beneficial. If pain persists past 72 hours seek a physician."

"Oh I'm sure it's not that bad." Aunt Cass encouraged.

"Yeah, he's just a ninny." Varian teased.

Hiro however was only confused by the old fashioned insult. "What's a 'ninny'? Also I didn't see you out there lifting weights. Where did you run off to?"

"I was helping Carl set up for his class." Varian explained. "Oh which reminds me, Aunt Cass, can you sign a permission slip for me? I wanna take boxing lessons."

"Hold up, wait. Who's Carl and you wanna what now?" Aunt Cass responded.

"Carl is Honey Lemon and Gogo's neighbor. He works at the gym." Hiro helpfully explained.

"He also teaches a boxing class there and I wanted to join." Varian added.

"I don't know if I want you fighting." Aunt Cass said reluctantly.

"Well, you're not really fighting anybody." Varian persuaded. "He just teaches basic fighting techniques. You know, for self defense. Plus it's exercise, it gets me out of the house, and Dr. Brown did say I needed a 'healthy way' to deal with my anger issues."

"By learning to hit people?" Aunt Cass was not convinced.

"I think they use punching bags." Hiro interjected.

His input was not appreciated as evidenced by Aunt Cass's pout. Varian however had one more trick up his sleeve. He silently pleaded with Aunt Cass with his big puppy dog eyes and she caved.

"Fine, I suppose knowing some self defense can be useful. But you're not going into a ring to duke it out with anybody, understood?"

Varian eagerly complied to this agreement, took another bite of the gumbo, and then made sure to flatter Aunt Cass cooking once more as a way of thank you.

                                                 -----------------------

Friday rolled around again and Varian arrived at the gym bright and early. Thus far he had attended all of Carl's morning classes, swinging by for the lesson before heading on to school. This would be his third class and Varian had to admit he was really getting into it.

Boxing turned out to be a great way to process his feelings and frustrations without having to talk about them. He could just get lost in the motion while allowing his mind to focus on the things he usually kept bottled up or buried under mounds of work. He could vent about everything from past trauma, to an annoying equation he was having trouble figuring out, to typical teenage anxieties about fitting in and the like all without having to say a word.

Though it wasn't as if he didn't ever talk. Carl turned out to be a very good listener whenever Varian did feel like opening up about something. He still remained guarded about his past, but it was nice to have a confidant when concerning more immediate matters. Things he couldn't necessarily talk to Aunt Cass or Granville about comfortably; things like dating, or shaving, or just what it was like being an awkward teenage guy going through life.

Carl always had an answer or an anecdote about his own experiences growing up that never failed to put Varian at ease. Even when he didn't have a straight answer for something he still gave sage advice that at least sounded wise and sensible; pointing to the heart of matters that other adults would skirt around.

Most importantly Carl never pried or pressed a matter. If Varian clammed up suddenly in the middle of a conversation or blurted out a long kept secret while rambling about something, like say his crush on Honey Lemon, Carl would only give his customary nod as if he understood and then just deftly change the subject.

In short Varian always felt like he was the one in control when boxing. In control of the conversation, in control of his mind and body, and in control of his life for once. After spending two years spiraling out of control it felt nice to be back in the driver's seat, even if it was only for an hour.

As Varian neared the classroom he could see Carl speaking with two gentlemen behind the glass. Well more like arguing. The two large men dressed in business suits and wearing sunglasses circled around Carl like vultures, clearly invading his personal space while looming over him. Varian couldn't make out what they were saying but it was clear from their body language that whatever it was meant to be taken as a threat.

Carl however wasn't rising to the bait. He stood his ground and didn't respond to their advances. There was a scowl on his face marking his displeasure but other than that he remained as cool and composed as ever.

Then one of the men grabbed him by his shirt collar. Carl calmly but firmly grabbed the man's wrist and forced him to let go. He retorted something back in an even measure and then the two men stepped away.

Soon they emerged from the classroom and made their way to the exit. One spared Varian a glance as he passed by and even though he couldn't see the man's eyes from behind the sunglasses Varian still felt his blood run cold. Whoever these men were they were dangerous. That much was clear.

"What was that about?" Varian asked after the men had left.

"Oh nothing." Carl lightly dismissed. "Just some old colleagues of mine. They came by asking me about a job but I turned them down. Told them I just started this one and wasn't looking for work."

It wasn't a lie per say, but Varian could tell it wasn't the full truth either. Which only caused more concern as Carl was usually so up front about everything. But the man respected Varian's own privacy and he could do no less for him in return. It wasn't his business who Carl conversed with or why. Still the event troubled Varian.

Carl must have sensed Varian's discomfort so he broke into a smile and changed the subject. "Why don't ya help me set up? Today we're going to practice blocking and how to fall safely when knocked down. I got a lot of yoga mats that I snagged from the back room that needs to be spread out on the floor."

And with that the matter was dropped.

                                                 -----------------------

"Hey, boss." The man in the suit stood right outside the gym as he spoke into his cell phone. "We found him."

He paused as he listened to the other person on the line.

"Yeah we know what to do." He said and then ended the call.

We have a discord now 

https://discord.gg/uwq9RBxN 

And a ko-fi 

https://ko-fi.com/rachelbethhines

[ariyadaivaris]

- christ i hate smug mma dudes more than anything on this earth. you're a man doing mma what do you have to be excited about? washing out of ufc and having to resort to a dying professional wrestling company? the systematic oppression of women? the paul brothers? i'm putting nails in your shoes

- the rare and coveted tshirt ariya. phwew he's really uh. he's very. twirls hair. he's kinda

- ariya using a rose metaphor for himself teehee i love being very smart and always right about everything

- "i guess you don't think tony can do it on his own aye" is soooooo so so far from anything that has ever happened between tony and ariya that it's LAUGHABLE. ariya deserves to laugh in his face. cringe and fail broadway-musical-rock-of-ages-male-lead-understudy looking little man. no i'm gonna argue with the kayfabe enemy actually the WHOLE THING up to this point has been ariya trying to prove himself and the subtle tension of tony becoming champion where ariya never has, the only the ONLY time ariya has ever not believed in tony is when he had a full on spiral breakdown towards the beginning of the year when they were questioning splitting them up again for some fucking reason and then it got retconned because DUHHHHHH why would you ever split tony and ariya up just for fun or a giggle when they;ve got the most complex relationship on 205 if you re*you walk away knowing all of this already because you have heard this every week for the last three years but you can still hear me talking in the distance, talking and talking though no one is there...*

- obsessed with this promo actually...ariya's mannerisms are so good he's SO...FUN. i LOVE watching him. he is so self-assured and so charming and there is so obviously so much frustration buried like, an INCH deep beneath all of it. it takes grey pushing him ONCE for him to lose his verve. im SO interested in this

- the thread here is, of course, "you think tony can't do it on his own?" which, as i've stated, is so far from true or what ariya thinks that it's comic. when ariya spits, "of COURSE tony nese can do it on his own", there are a lot of factors at play. when he concedes that maybe instead of going out there, he WILL stay backstage, there's a lot going on there!!! there IS!!! *voice of an unwell person* there IS a lot going on   - tony doesn't need to prove he can do it on his own, because he already has. ariya's storyline...like i mentioned, he had a weird moment at the beginning of the year, when it seemed like maybe he and tony were going to be split up. that was very much a moment of "okay the writing might change so it's time to set something up" of course but i think it's interesting to think about as a character impulse.   ariya is working to prove he can do things on his own. this has BEEN his thing. he and tony are a team again, but ariya's tried to win with other teams and he's tried to win alone, and though he's successful more often than 205 would have you believe, he's still very shaky. tony has been allowed to work outside of the orbit of other people, and ariya hasn't gotten that chance as much. and, besides that, tony doesn't CARE about it in the same way ariya does. tony...when he gets intense, it's about interpersonal stuff. drew, buddy, cedric, akira, swerve. tony competes with people! ariya competes with himself. does that make sense. i know what i mean. its fine   ariya...is on edge. he likes tony and he likes working with tony, but he hasn't been a competitor like tony is. tony's been very accomodating, stepping back or supporting ariya's feuds and allowing him to do What He Needs To Do, which means ariya can try to work alone without going completely rogue and sabotaging shit. when he tried to cut himself off from tony, it was...well it was retconned. but. that's what he's done before and this time it didn't work because ONE it's just tony and ariya, there's no exacerbating force, and TWO, tony and ariya are, after all, friends. tony wants to be friends with ariya and it is hard work to be friends with ariya but he will do it. so they work it out. and ariya is left feeling very very weird about it, and very very aware of how much he kind of depends on tony, when tony doesn't depend on him, at all. ariya tries to protect tony and gas him up and keep an eye on him to make up for All That He's Done Before and to feel like this friendship is two-sided (which it is, of course, friendship is more than a strategic advantage but that's how ariya's always approached it and it's a hard habit to break), but he doesn't have the wins to back up the feeling of being Worth It as a friend.   it's...i feel like i just sound out of my gourd saying all of this lol and i am. but when ariya bitterly says, "of course tony nese can do it on his own." it's not just the anger at grey being a dickhead towards tony. it's also ariya being painfully aware that tony can do it without ariya's help. there's a threat in that statement, that question that doesn't need to be asked. there's an irony to it. its...think about it this way: if tony was talking to grey about watching ariya's match, grey wouldn't snark about if tony thought ariya could do it. you know?

- that doesnt make sense. whatever <3 im free

- wow love seeing kushida defending the title. imagine if that happened.....on.......205 live

- ariya literally getting successfully talked out of watching tony's match because he wants to show he believes in tony :( i'm hurt...i'm so hurt. so fucked up and twisted. by GREY too, ariya has kind of a BIT with grey huh. him cheating to pin ariya and then going noooo cheating is wrong against all other opponents. the way grey is super hypocritical and shitty to him and then to no one else. ariya almost respecting him for what ariya understands as Someone Who Gets It and then revealing oh no i just really don't like you and want to piss you off. this one dude who keeps targetting ariya specifically in all the ways that most drive ariya into a frenzy and he managed to hit him where it hurts the most enough to drive him into hiding. oughhhh aughhhh   - everyone on 205 being a hater for no reason and seeing ariya trying to deal with his Issues(TM): hm. i can make him worse

- SUNFLOWER JACKET!!!!!!!! SUNFLOWER JIRO. PRECIOUS AND BELOVED. KING AMONG ALL CRUISERWEIGHTS. I DONT KNOW WHO ARIYA IS

- the exaggerated "BOO!""YAY!" cheers for jiro. who am i to say he doesn't deserve them. he DOES. we LOVE jiro. jiro is allowed to homewreck gold standard if he wants to i'll pretend not to see

- UNBREAKABLE!! AUGHHH HE'S SO COOL AND FUN AND HIS MIND IS SIMPLY BEAUTIFUL. jiro has such a fucking bonkers sense of like...dragging a move out. that man can MAKE a sequence! he gets the upper hand and he holds onto it for ages and the entire time its never dull. always with the momentum! always with the visualization of everything around him and how to make it into a show. i just simply think that jiro kuroshio

- HE'S DYINGGGGGGG NOOOOOOOO JIRO. TONY NESE YOU'RE A DEAD MAN. he looks great at this angle though love you weirdo. oh NO your jacket is NOT cool enough to pull this off fkshsdskd  - jiro injecting some MUCH needed humor back into 205 thank you so much

- tony's stupid joth uniform next to jiro's sunflower pattern is SO good. fuckin goth v prep diagram dynamic. creamsicle blogging moments

- OH I LOVE A GOOD PIN. we LOVE a good pin don't we. that kick to tony on the apron ROCKS

- clearly you don't own an air fryer...

- OH HIS FORM IS FUCKING UNREAL. WHAT THE HELL!!!!!!!!!! JIRO KUROSHIO BABEY

- i REALLY like this match. this is 205 to me

- IS THAT A 205 CHANT??? IS THAT A 205 CHANT I HEAR??? OH????? WORM????? ITS BEEN LIFETIMES....................

- ooohohohoohohHOOO tony's recovery from the moonsault. that was. dare i say. Epic

- JIROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

- jiro treating mister nese like a little football. sorry anthony. perhaps you should just be cooler <3

- THAT WAS SO FUN......what a meaty episode this week. harkens back to 205 of old.............i love it. im loving this energy. jiro kuroshio you are going to save 205 i believe it

[maybe-your-left]

Good Intentions: End of Summer

Did I write a Solo Triplets fic even though I have two other fics that I should be working on? Yes. 

Did I write about the triplets because I am lusting after all three of them and I’m projecting my lust of Adam Driver in a competitive swim suit? Also yes. 

Am I going to write a fuck ton more of this because I’m a garbage human being who loves angst? Yes again. 

Okay so this is written in a High School AU. You’re a junior in highschool whose been friends with the Solo boys (they are seniors) for a couple years, Matt being one of your closest friends. This fic is going to involve a lot of drama, and a lot of swimming lingo that you might not get but its okay because no one gets it outside of the swimming community. It’s mainly just so I can get this thought of AD characters out of my head and into something more productive. I hope you like it! Also yes there will be smut. Not yet, but yes. Just because the AU is different doesn’t mean I’m not gonna have them make sweet sticky love to us when the moments right. 

Thank god outdoor events had tents set up. Or else you would be baking in the sun waiting for your races. 

You sat under a large white tent surrounded by towels, goldfish, Gatorade bottles, and an assortment of games. Your teammates were sprawled around you, some were playing cards with each other, some were listening to music to pass the time,  and you were just sitting down playing on your Switch. 

The Rebellion swim team had been a great escape for you. It allowed you to make so many friends, almost considering them family throughout the years. It was a way for you to get away from your problems and immerse yourself in the competition. Most of the friends you’ve made had been through swimming, some from school, but all of you had a shared bond. 

Right now you were resting after your medley relay, the rebels as you were called, had beat everyone else by a landslide. You reached over and drank from your water bottle when you heard faint screaming from the exit doors of the pool. Pulling back one of your headphones you looked around to see what the commotion was about. You couldn’t see all the way over, but you were sure it had something to do with the boy’s relays going on inside. They always were rowdy, and it didn’t help that most of the guys on your team screamed and yelled whenever they had the chance. 

You shrugged and put your focus back on your game. Steady beats were playing through your headphones, you barely noticed the three boys running up to you. Suddenly a very large, and very wet body was jumping on top of you. 

“Earth to (Y/N)! Why didn’t you come to watch us kick the First Orders ass?!”

You groaned and tried to pry him off of you, fuck he was huge, “Please get off me Ben,” you slapped his back in an attempt to force him up. 

“You missed it,” Ben huffed into your stomach, “Matty almost false-started!” 

“Is that right?” you patted Ben's shoulder, he was always the most competitive one. You glanced to your right towards the other boys. “How did you do Kylo?” 

Kylo didn’t respond, only grunted towards you while grabbing his towel. He was the quietest, even though you had been around the boys for years he always kept you at arm’s length. You tried not to feel hurt by it, he seemed to do it for everyone but it still stung. 

“Don’t be rude Kylo,” Matt smacked his brother’s shoulder, “He’s just grumpy that he almost lost.” 

“I did not,” Kylo growled back, settling in front of you with his eyes glued to his phone.

Ben snorted, lifting his chin to settle on your sternum, “Could’ve fooled me, you almost let Hux beat you.” 

Without warning, Kylo smacked Ben in the back causing Ben to muffle a scream into your suit. “What the fuck dude?” he yelled and launched off of you, tackling Kylo to the ground. They started wrestling with each other, Kylo getting Ben in a chokehold while Ben was trying to elbow him in the gut. You sighed and stared at Matt who just stood there staring at the two roll around. 

When you first met the triplets, you weren’t used to the hostility between Ben and Kylo. Ben always tried to push his buttons, while Kylo tried to one-up Ben at any physical event which always led to the two of them fighting on the floor of wherever they were. Your first experience with that was when Matt had invited you over to their house to study for chemistry together. Although they were a year older than you, you and Matt had met in science class your freshman year the two of you quickly becoming good friends. Once you came over to their house you were quickly thrown against a bean bag chair by the boys who were fighting over PlayStation controllers. Needless to say, you started crying because Kylo had broken Bens’ nose and Matt was trying to calm them while also introducing you to the other two. Once they heard your tears all three of them apologized and swarmed around you, Ben and Kylo especially trying to show you that they didn’t really ‘hurt’ each other. 

But now them fighting was normal, you just had to wait for one of them to run out of steam, or when Kylo eventually caused Ben to pass out. Although Kylo is the middle triplet, he is the strongest. He has the most muscle compared to the other two, although they all are exceptionally large boys for their age, Kylo looks like he could fight a bear at any given moment. 

“Come on guys that’s enough,” Matt yelled, attempting to pry the two apart with his foot, “We don’t need someone telling Dad that you two can’t be civil anymore.” 

Kylo pushed Ben off him, “Fine,” he pointed a finger at Ben, “This isn’t over.” 

Ben rolled his eyes and brought his attention back to you, “(Y/N) big bad Kylo hurt my neck, will you kiss it better?” 

“Get off me, Ben,” you chuckled, “I need to go get ready for my race.” 

He huffed and rolled off you, grabbing a bag of snacks from his swim bag. You turned to your left and grabbed your cap and goggles, standing up and stretching before walking off towards the entrance doors. Kylo grabbed your ankle stopping you, “Good luck.” 

You swallowed and smiled at him, “Thank you Ky.” 

-----

After (Y/N) left, Ben threw a towel at Kylo’s face, “What was that about, lover boy?” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he rolled his eyes and brought his attention back to his phone. He had been mindlessly scrolling since he sat down, trying to get over the embarrassment of (Y/N) seeing him freak out about almost losing. Usually, he didn’t let Ben get under his skin but whenever he provoked him in front of (Y/N) he couldn’t help himself. 

Matt stood up, putting on a t-shirt and grabbing his glasses, “We better get inside, I don’t want to miss her breaking the 200 record.” 

“She didn’t come to watch us swim, why should we watch her,” Ben groaned, stretching his arms before grabbing his shirt to throw on. 

Kylo reached in his bag for his stopwatch, “Because she’s our friend and this is important for her, besides I’m sure you’re #1 fan will be inside too.” 

“Fuck is she here? I didn’t see her at warm-ups…” Ben looked around hastily, scanning the team in case his ‘favorite’ person found him before he could duck and hide. 

“Yeah,” Kylo grunted, “She cornered me this morning when I came out of the locker rooms, pretty sure she thought I was you.” 

“Common mistake,” Ben laughed, grabbing Kylo and Matt’s shoulders, “You two do take after your older brother's good looks.” 

“Piss off Ben, let’s go I’m sure the rest of the team is already down by her lane.” 

Matt and Kylo jogged in first, with Ben trailing not far behind. Making sure to scan the crowds for any ‘danger’. Kylo spotted (Y/N) first, hollering and waving his watch in the air, receiving a large smile from her in return. “Let’s get close, that way she can see us when she turns,” Kylo said over the crowd. 

Everyone was packed into the building, the crowd was screaming and cheering for the open 200. The boys maneuvered their way to the end of (Y/N) lane, pushing out other spectators and calmly hopping the barrier between the swimmers and patrons. All three were crouched down, ready to watch. 

“Event 3 Women’s 200 Freestyle, Heat 4. Swimmers Step up.” 

The girls hopped up, (Y/N) gave a big smile and wave to the triplets and also a thumbs up to her timers. She always was so polite even when she was racing. 

“Judges and timers ready, Swimmers take your mark.” 

BEEP. 

The crowd erupted, they dove and everyone was shouting. Matt and Ben were hooping and hollering at (Y/N) to ‘keep a steady pace’ while Kylo stared in silence. Making sure to get the splits when she made it to the wall. 

“She’s gotta kick it up, that girl to her right is already close,” Ben yelled down at Kylo. 

“She’ll be fine, it's just the first lap,” Kylo grunted, getting the first lap timed. 

“Have a little faith, Benny,” Matt smiled before turning back to (Y/N). 

Three laps later and it was the final stretch, (Y/N) was just a little ways ahead at the wall. All three boys were screaming at her, at the turn they were right in her face. Yelling to go faster, push harder. They stood up abruptly, watching the clock to see if she was going to win. 

“That’s a new record for (Y/N) (Y/L/N)!” the starter announced. 

“Let’s go let’s go!” Matt shouted, scrambling to get around the excited spectators. 

Kylo stayed quiet, he was so happy for (Y/N) but he didn’t want to show it. He would wait to talk to her alone that way Ben and Matt wouldn’t embarrass him if he stumbled over what he wanted to say. Even though he had been around her for so long, she still left him tongue-tied. She was so smart and sweet and put up with each of the triplets' moods. Not to mention she was beautiful and was always so happy to see and include him even if he was in a shitty mood. He had had a crush on her for a while now, Matt and Ben knew about it. Ben made it clear he also liked (Y/N) which was proving to decrease Kylos chances. 

Kylo was pulled out of his thoughts when he saw you coming down from the lanes. Chatting with the coaches, thanking people, and crying about how excited you were. It was a big deal, you had worked so hard over the summer to beat the record. Kylo fought back a smile as you approached the boys. 

“You did amazing, babygirl!” Ben shouted, lifting (Y/N) up by her armpits. Effectively crushing her face onto his cheek. “I’m so so so proud of you!” 

He kissed her on the cheek, giving Kylo a side-eye before setting her back down. 

Matt spoke up, wrapping his arms around (Y/N) in a much calmer fashion, “That was great, we were worried for a second that you were going to lose.” 

“Glad you guys had so much faith in me,” (Y/N) huffed, she was beaming with joy. So proud of herself and happy that everyone could see her do well. 

She looked up at Kylo, eyes wide and a big smile. Waiting for him to congratulate her, or say anything. Nothing would come out of his mouth, he was awestruck, and making a complete fool out of himself for the second time today. 

(Y/N) nodded and crawled out of Matt’s arms, smiling and saying thank you for watching before turning to her other friends. “The fuck was that dude?!” Ben smacked Kylo upside the head. “She was waiting for you to say something!” 

“You don’t have to hit me,” Kylo covered his face in his hands, “She just kept looking at me like that, I didn’t know what to say.” 

“You’re ruining your chances with her if you keep acting like that,” Matt grumbled, staring off into the distance. Suddenly his eyes widened and he ducked down, “911 Ben she saw us!” 

“What?!” 

“Get down!” 

Kylo hunched down, trying to become average height along with Matt and Ben. Blending in and attempting to make it to the exit undiscovered. 

“Hey Benny,” a voice rang out in front of Kylo. “Are you hiding from me?” She smiled and pulled back on his shirt making him stand to full height. 

“Wrong twin Bazine,” Kylo huffed and pointed towards the locker rooms where Ben was stalking towards. 

Bazine whipped around, distrust coloring her face. For having a crush on Ben she sure wasn’t able to recognize him, making mistakes left and right between the two boys while Matt was left in the clear from her lustful gaze. 

“Sorry Ky,” she flashed her teeth, “He keeps slipping from me today, didn’t even answer my texts.” 

“I can’t imagine why.” 

She glared at Kylo, turned and skipped off towards Ben, letting out a huge breath once she was gone. 

Matt patted Kylo on the back, “One of these days she’ll get the hint.” 

“Hopefully while we're still young.” 

The two turned around and walked back out to the tents. 

——

After your race, you were exhausted, but you were sure to say thank you and check in with your coaches and friends. Rose, Rey, and Phasma were so excited for you, they even filmed the race. Although the triplets were blocking them from getting very many action shots, they also were the loudest on the video. 

You walked out towards the tents, plopping down and chugging some water. You shot a text to your parents, letting them know how you did. They weren’t there to watch you, even though they promised they would try this time. But it wasn’t a new thing, they were absent enough for it to be normal. It would be weird if they had shown up. You made sure to send them the video Rey took. 

Looking up you noticed Matt and Kylo speed walking towards you, Ben nowhere to be found. Settling down in front of you, seeming to sigh in relief. “That was so close,” Matt said. 

Kylo hummed and grabbed his water bottle, brushing your knee as he reached. 

“Bazine find Ben?” you chucked. That poor girl. She was on the high school team before she transferred last year, she had her eyes set on the triplets. She even ‘faked’ being your friend for a while when she noticed how close you were with them. But of course Ben couldn’t keep it in his pants, and now she wouldn’t leave him alone. “It’s his fault really, he shouldn’t have led her on,” you said, grabbing a goldfish from Kylos bag. 

“Hey,” he huffed, “I didn’t say those were to share.” 

“It’s a swim meet Kylo, everything is to share. Now did you time my splits?” 

He cleared his throat and nodded, “Uh yeah I did.” 

“Wanna tell me them or am I supposed to guess?” You scooted over to his right, placing your hand on his knee. Kylo coughed and sat up straighter, showing you the stopwatch. Although he never tried to show it, he was always the most proud of you. Made sure to help you with technique, work on turns and dives, and he always would time your races even if you didn’t ask. “You did a good job,” he swallowed, “I uh, I’m sorry about earlier-“ 

“Why the fuck would you guys leave me with her?!” Ben shouted, pushing Kylos head down into his lap as he made it back to your group. “She fucking cornered me in the locker room! The men’s room!” 

“Ben why don’t you just tell her to buzz off,” you rolled your eyes and glanced over at Kylo who was trying very hard to not knock out his brother. 

“He won’t because he likes the attention,” Matt stated. Earning a glare from Ben, before he sat back and grabbed his phone from his bag. 

“I don’t like the attention,” he huffed, “It’s not my fault that she’s in love with me. We barely did anything!” 

“You slept with her!” Kylo shouted. 

“Not right now I didn’t!” 

You looked at Ben, trying to give him ‘you’re a fucking idiot face’. 

Ben averted your gaze, staring off instead at Rey sitting with the other girls, “We just made out, nothing else.” 

“You just made out with her?! Even though you’ve been avoiding her for a week?” you yelled. Ben clearly was not understanding that he was responsible for Bazine attachment, he kept stringing her on and when she got too close he would run away. 

“Whatever I don’t need you guys to tell me what to do,” Ben said back, “Come on Kylo we have a race.” 

Next to you, Kylo chucked, the two of them always raced against one another. Right now they had a 50 freestyle that was supposed to be neck and neck, however, Kylo always seemed to beat Ben no matter how hard he tried. 

“Good luck,” you whispered to Kylo, “I’m rooting for you.” 

Kylo smirked down at you and grabbed his stuff and left, Ben following behind him. You sighed and looked at Matt. Sweet normal Matt, he was so calm and level headed. Nothing like the other two, aside from their identical faces you could hardly believe they were related. 

“Let’s go, whoever loses has to be my counter for the 500,” Matt sighed. 

“You say that every time but Ben never follows through, he doesn’t have the attention span for it” you giggle, grabbing the stopwatch and running off to the lanes. 

Inside is the same story, people shoving around each other. Trying to get a look at the top heats of every event. Thank goodness Matt was behind you, guiding you forward through the crowds. Ben and Kylo were side by side, Kylo lane 4, Ben 5 with Hux in lane 3. Hux was Kylos rival, or even arch enemy. They hated each other with a passion, even more than Ben and Kylo. 

You got right behind the barricade, when suddenly you were lifted over it. “What are you doing Matt?!” 

“It’s fine we did it earlier.” He hopped over too and stood at Bens lane. You turned and stared at the blocks. Both twins were stretching and jumping, getting ready for their sprint. You could see Ben was cracking jokes with his timers, probably making a big show about the top swimmers being brothers. While Kylo just stood and stared. You did a small wave, showing the stopwatch as he did for you earlier earning a very small smile. 

“Event 8 Men’s 50 Freestyle, Heat 5. Swimmers step up.” 

Up they went, strong and ready to beat the shit out of each other. 

“Judges and timers ready, Swimmers take your marks.” 

BEEP. 

Diving in, Kylo and Ben were underwater longer than everyone else. Ben edging out ahead just a little. You and Matt were screaming, watching their every move. 

At the wall you saw Kylo take his first and only breathe, shooting off the wall. Suddenly he was past Ben. Earning an almost full body length ahead of him and he glided into the opposite wall. Easily set a new record for himself and the team. 

“You think he was going easy on Ben?” Matt smirked and looked at you, it was clear in the first half he wanted Ben to get tired. “Whatever the case, Kylo won’t let Ben win that easily.” 

The two of you headed towards the exit, waiting for the twins. “Matt go get ready for your 500, I’ll make sure to grab the boys for you.” 

“Thanks (Y/N).” 

He turned and jogged out. Suddenly Bazine was at your left, her hand on your shoulder. “Can you believe Ben let Kylo win? Unacceptable,” she tsked. 

Rolling your eyes you shook her hand off, “Whatever Bazine.” 

Kylo and Ben came out, after shaking hands with the other competitors they were smiling and wrestling each other. Happy to have shared a good time. Once in front of you, their smiles fell slightly, probably because of the presence of Bazine. 

“Awesome job guys! Matt and I were screaming for you,” you smiled and grabbed them both in a hug. Being sure to give them both attention, Ben was known to sulk whenever he lost. 

Bazine rolled her eyes and pulled Ben to her arms, “Why’d you let him win baby? You’re so much better than that.” Grabbing his face and kissing the tip of his nose, you had to look away. Afraid that your temper would flare up, she was always so rude about Kylo. Even though he was nothing but ‘nice’ to her, she always tried to put him down. Ben just closed his eyes and clenched his jaw, trying to get her away with silence. After a moment he sighed and spoke, “I have to go.” and then pushed past Bazine. 

She quickly followed Ben outside, trying to soothe his wounds. You turned and looked at Kylo who was staring at his feet. “You did a great job. Really, I even got your splits!” you smiled at him, trying to lighten the mood. 

Kylo nodded and mumbled, “I should go get Matt’s stuff ready.” 

“Let’s go together!” you smiled at him, slipping your hand in his while pulling him towards the lanes. 

——

The rest of the meet went by smoothly, each boy winning their races. Matt especially, he was the odd one out. Only did distance races so he had his own set of rivals. But you all cheered just the same. Finally, the meet was wrapped up and you and your girlfriends were packing your bags. 

“Are we all meeting for pizza?” Rose asked. 

You shrugged, “I’m down if you’re down, I think we’ve earned it.” 

Rey and Phasma jogged up beside you two, confirming the pizza plan. Everyone from the team was supposed to meet at the restaurant in fifteen minutes. “You guys wanna ride with me?” you said at the girls, each of them shaking their heads and proceeding to wrap up. 

“I’m gonna head inside and change, see you guys there” you walked back towards the locker rooms. You looked at your phone, shooting the boys a group text about the plan. 

Walking in you heard whispering, right around the corner to the men’s bathrooms. You leaned in and listened. 

“I don’t know why you’re acting so weird dude.” 

“I’m not acting weird!” 

“Yes you are and if you can’t get it together I’m gonna swoop in.” 

“That’s not fair Ben,” one of the voices silently screamed. 

You peaked around the corner, huddled in a group were the triplets. Each one was already dressed down, and they were very close to fighting one another. 

“I don’t give a shit anymore Kylo, I’m tired of watching you be a pussy,” Ben huffed looking up at the ceiling. 

“He’s not ready Ben, don’t push him!” Matt yelled. 

“He’s had years! Years of dibs!” 

“Stop pushing me!” Kylo shouted, burning his face in his hands. 

“If you don’t tell (Y/N) how you feel then I will.” Ben pointed at Kylo. 

You cleared your throat, trying to get them to stop talking about you. Matt was the first to notice you, smacking both Kylo and Ben to shut up. Once Kylo noticed you his face went beat red, while Ben just smiled at you. 

“Hey (Y/N)...” Matt waved. 

You rushed into the locker room, frantically changing so you could quickly run out to your car before the boys could talk to you any further. This was going to be a long night. 

TAGLIST: @finn-ray-nal-beads​ @morby​ @kirah36​ @reylo-trash​ @onlykyloscenes​ @candycanes19​ @clumsycopy​ 

I just tagged people who have liked my stuff or who I think would be interested in my garbage writing! 

[writing-the-end]

LoL Chapter 12: Family Dynamics

Masterpost

A Wizard Hermits tale (AU belongs to @theguardiansofredland )

Safe on their home island of Eremita, the hermits need to practice, grow their magic stronger. A day in the life of the illegal guild of hermits includes food- practice- more food- practice- contemplating of life.

---------------------------------------------------

The Order returned to their island, healed by the remaining Asklepions and left with more questions than answers. They know almost nothing more about dark magic, despite fighting it twice now. When they thought husks only appeared around crystals, Danes proved they can move. When they believed they understood why a husk appeared, the monsters just tore apart their theories. 

One thing they did learn from the two experiences is they need more training. More experience, especially against dark magic. The hermits were strong, but the forces of darkness were stronger. But before any of them can take on each other, they first need to take on breakfast.

Which is a challenge in itself. Half of the hermits want to jump right into training, ignoring the guild hall and insistence of TFC. The other half are easily enticed by the scent of food. 

Grian is practically vibrating in his seat, to the point that Iskall has to reach out and press his hand on the blond hair to keep him seated. “Who thought it was a good idea to give him syrup?” 

“It’s not the breakfast, I can’t wait to get back to sparring!” Grian grins, turning to Mumbo. “You ready for another round of quickdraws?” 

Mumbo groans, head falling back and mouth falling open. “Gri, you know I can’t quickdraw my magic circle.” 

“Like, at all, dude.” Iskall hums, picking the skin off an orange. 

“That’s how you’ll get better! Learn by doing!” Grian points out. He knows that Mumbo struggles with his magic- it’s a lot of magic to handle, being a multi-mage. But he’s seen Mumbo’s strength, he sees the potential in his best friend. And only someone as equally powerful as him, like Grian, can take on that power. Once it shows itself. 

Stress walks by, rolling up her sleeves and brushing the rat’s nest from her hair. She sits down next to False, squeaking as the sharp slice of rock against metal cuts into the air. Stress realizes the shining alloy isn’t a plate. “False, haven’t we said before- no weapons on the tables?” 

“It’s no used weapons. This is brand new, just finished forging it last night.” She picks the chakram by the handle in the center, tossing the disk blade across the table to Wels. “Why don’t you give it a try today?” 

Wels laughs, giving the weapon a slice and a spin. “Let’s see Etho dodge this.” 

Etho, hearing his own name, abruptly stands up from his seat and scurries into the nearest shadow, a strip of bacon shoved into his mouth as he pulls up his mask. Doc and BDubs only laugh, divvying up the remains of Etho’s breakfast. 

Under the quiet seats under the massive oak, as old as the island itself, Keralis and Xisuma are studying. Keralis stopped by his family’s bookstore on the mainland, sifting through ancient tomes in hopes of finding something about dark magic. 

“Ugh, why does no one write about dark magic, sheshwammy?” Keralis growls, his thick south Lairyon accent struggling to say Xisuma’s central name. 

“Probably because it’s illegal to practice it, so no one knows anything about it.” Xisuma sets down another book, picking up the egg sandwich he made and taking a frustrated bite. “Though someone obviously does. But we need proof that this is dark magic, written proof.” He knows they can’t stop it themselves- that’s the arcane guard’s job. But after seeing all of Gildara abandoned, and most of the Asklepions killed, the least he can do is this. 

“You really think the pen is mightier than the sword?” False questions, raising an eyebrow. She presses her knife into the sausage patty on her plate, daring Joe to answer.

“I mean, when my pen can make a giant magic sword with fire and lightning, yeah.” Joe grins, pressing his chin to his open palm. A dangerous glint appears behind his glasses, and he uses the other hand to push them up. Sun reflects off the spectacles, making it impossible for False to see anything beyond the smirk and the light- infuriating her. 

“Cleo,” False grabs the pirate by her long coat and dragging her into the conversation. Without the paladin here to back her up, she needed someone else with a way with words. “You get what I’m saying. Tell me your blade there wouldn’t completely destroy Joe in a fight. I mean, all I’d have to do is cut up that journal of yours and your magic is useless!” 

“Well, Joe does have a point. Sure, your forged weapons are the best in the kingdom, and Joe is screwed if he ever has to face you without his magic.” Cleo pauses, watching the two. “But I’m inclined to believe that words should come before violence- which is why anytime Mr. Joe of the Hills here refuses to finish his breakfast, I remind him with my words that I’m going to break his knees before i actually do.” Cleo pulls out her sword, setting the tip on the wood table. 

Joe shoves the last of his pancakes into his mouth, quick to retreat from Cleo. He was asking for trouble with False, but he knows any of the women could easily kick his ass. Even as an S-Class. “Hey False, why don’t we take this debate to the training field, see how mighty the sword is to the pen?” 

“You can’t escape me forever, Joe!” Cleo calls, watching as the two S-Class mages run down the hill and onto the latter half of the island. Their home island, Eremita, was separated into two parts. The southern side of the island lays claim to where the hermits live. An odd mix of towers and forges, ships and caves. It was up to the hermits to chose their own style of household- which created some disunion of the overall complex, but allowed for each member to express themselves. Everyone helped, whether Scar packed stone bricks or False forged iron nails. 

The other half of the island, however, was left mostly untouched. A large field of grass, combed by the salty sea air, dotted with targets and barriers. A dirt circle cuts into the field, where hermits can duel one on one. Beyond the field, a large pond expands like an eye to the face of the island. Caressing the other shore, a dense forest grows on a slow rise of a hill, before stopping at the edge of the cove of a broad, sandy beach. It was a perfect home, a perfect place for an illegal guild to lay claim. 

Training grounds quickly filled with groups and teams, even TFC getting in on strengthening himself. He wasn’t going to let some little rock keep him down for long. “Hey Cub, lets show these guys a thing or two about magic.” 

The two silver haired, bearded men join the others well settled into today’s training. Deep in the forest, a soft explosion can be heard, followed by the giddy laughter as Zedaph leaps from tree to tree. Tango and Impulse struggle to follow him, and the birds diving for their heads don’t help. At the interface between trees and grass, Doc and Jevin have teamed up to amass an army. Objects under the devious control of Doc’s puppeteering magic, violent and unshaken to mimic the husks they fought. Jevin’s slime soldiers add bodies to the battle, flanking Iskall, Ren, and Xisuma. Hiding behind a barrier, Etho is waiting for the sun to reappear and for shadows to return, ducking his head as the chakram whizzes past. Despite his terrifying predicament, he has a coy smile on his face. 

In the field, BDubs is practicing his aim with Scar, shredding apart haybales with their unique magic. Plants grow from one, thorns dug deep into the tightly bound material. The other has been knocked over and crushed by a boulder, Scar cheering his success. And in the center of the dueling ring, Mumbo and Grian stand still as stone. The quietest Grian ever has been. In a flash, as simple as a shift in the wind’s direction, Mumbo rushes to summon his circle. A second later, he’s blown off his feet, Grian grinning with blue embers fading away from his fingers. Mumbo groans, rubbing the dirt stained fabric on his rear. “You couldn’t have given me a few seconds? It’s not like I’d ever win.” 

Grian offers an easy smile, waving Mumbo closer. “Come on, let’s practice the basics again. I know you can do it, friend.” 

The hermits continue into the afternoon, only stopping their training briefly for lunch under the cool relief of the oaken guild hall. Groups disband and reform, training and practicing and learning from each other. Trying to be better, stronger together. So that next time they come face to face with an enemy, or the dark magic, they can win. They will win. 

No guild is quite like the Order of Hermits. Apart from being illegal, they’re a mix of just about every kind of magic. A healing mage like Grian can stand side by side with Cleo’s underworld magic, no set skill required on requested. Varying strengths train side by side, not separated from better or worse. They all have something to learn from each other, even the strongest S-Class can be surprised by the newest mage. And often, Grian is. The magic is just as diverse as the people, the hermits that call Eremita home. 

Training is cut short by a squall, appearing like magic and blowing across the Ashioll sea. Broiling grey clouds engulf the sun, and quickly send the hermits scattering into shelter. Well, most of them. The ZIT trio remained wrestling in the mud, and BDubs couldn’t help but join in. 

Wels returns the chakram to False, a number of other hermits huddled around the blasting heat of False’s outdoor forge, nestled under the stone roof. Stress jumps back as an ember sparks out, nearly catching the trim of her robes. She rubs her exposed arms, the warm material of her fur coat wrapped around her waist. So much for the hot summer day. 

Joe and Cleo have made up, and are plucking books from his library to read as the rain pours down, laughing as they watch Ren skitter away to his home, ears and tail tucked. 

Xisuma sits at a window, looking out across the clouded green sea from his tower. He chose the Ashioll sea for a reason to make this his home. To start a guild here. No one else dared called these waters home. Old magic, magic so wild and arcane that not even the kiplings can control, residing here in these waters. Merchant vessels and battleships avoid the sea, and even the hermits don’t have every island mapped out. Though Grian and Xisuma are working on it. The sea was their safe haven, the island their home. 

Xisuma turns his head, glancing at the white envelope on his desk. The yellow seal bearing a sun remains unbroken. He’s not ready to think about his brother. He knows he could have valuable information, and is likely concerned about him, but he can’t bear to open the letter today. He turns his head back to the storm, watching lightning streak across the sky, smelling the scent of the void left behind by the bolts. He doesn’t need his brother- he has his own family, right here. 

They’ll do this, without Ex.

[chickensarentcheap]

Best Part of Me -Chapter 90

Warnings: none 

Tagging @c-a-v-a-l-r-y​, @innerpaperexpertcloud​, @tragiclyhip​, @alievans007​

“I have a serious bone to pick with you,” Riley scolds, thousands of miles away in her dorm room at Colorado State. Clad in a black and green plaid hunting jacket that’s miles too big on her petite frame, vibrant red hair tucked up into a ‘trucker style’ ball cap. “Why did I have to find out about this from Douchey McDouche Face?”

Despite there being a near fourteen year age difference between them and no blood ties whatsoever, their relationship has always been strong; even with the familial drama and the miles that have continuously kept them separated. Esme can vividly remember meeting her for the first time; a then three year old gazing up at her -all of seventeen- with pure adoration and idolization. That cute little ginger with her massive green eyes and her already fiery personality; drawn to Esme and her then tomboyish style and her penchant -despite her own small stature- for full contact sports.  She can even recall how good it had felt; having someone that DID look at her that way.

For years she'd been practically invisible; the last child between her mother and father, treated as if there’d been simply no love left to bestow on her after piling it on five boys. Her father had been her only source of real affection; the only person who’d ever showed pride in her achievements and never dragged her down for her choices or belittled her passions and interests. When he died, everything went to shit. While her mother’s   toxicity increased and she kicked the emotional abuse up several notches, her brothers had all tried -in their obnoxious and overbearing ways- to step up and take their father’s place in her life. They’d all failed, causing her to become uncharacteristically sullen and withdrawn; prone to cutting when the depressions and feelings of inadequacy hit especially hard and her mother no longer hide her rapidly growing hatred for her only daughter. Life had been pretty dark; many moments where she thought the world would be a better place without her in it and she’d actually been in possession of handfuls of pills and had the desire -and the chance- to end the suffering.

Then ‘The Sarge’ had come along. Filling that fatherly role without expecting or demanding it; letting her call the shots and make the moves when it came to accepting him into her life. And he’d ‘shown up’ in ways her mother and brothers never bothered; quietly and lovingly, showing interest in her life and valuing her opinions and thoughts and getting involved in the things she enjoyed. She was no longer the only one on the wrestling squad or the lacrosse team or at swim meets without someone there to support her. Sarge would always be there; sitting in the front row, enthusiastically cheering her on and nudging other parents with his elbow while proudly declaring “that’s MY girl!”.

And just when she thought things couldn’t possibly get better, they did.  Sarge was granted full custody of his only child; her mother choosing her career over that adorable redhead. Despite their age difference, she and Riley had become inseparable. Happily and willingly taking the little girl to the movies or the mall; listening to preschool gossip while out for dinner at McDonalds, letting the little girl climb into bed with her during thunderstorms or after a bad dream. Over the years they’d both been branded as  the ‘black sheep’; ostracized  for their ‘lifestyle choices’ and how ‘wayward and lost’ they’d managed to become.

Nothing brings two people together like shared alienation and pure hatred and spite for their ‘enemies’.

“I didn’t want to bother you,” Esme attempts to reason, as she conducts the video chat in one of the ICU’s private family meeting rooms.  “I know finals are coming up. And you’ve been busy with placement. I didn’t want to add THIS to your plate.”

She’d left Tyler in extremely compassionate hands: a quiet and gentle Andy, who’d been standing over his sleeping friend and in the midst of a traditional Aboriginal blessing and prayer for healing.  She’d had to leave;  the purity and the beauty of both Andy’s heart and the moment too profound for her already fragile emotions to handle.  Instead she spends the time with both her sister and Addie; the infant cuddled close to her chest, a receiving blanket emblazoned with images of Baby Dumbo covering her as she nurses.  She had terribly missed even the simplicity and familiarity of such a common occurrence; the light weight of her daughter’s tiny body against hers, those tiny hands that gently  knead at her breast or grab at her necklace and reach for her hair.

“THIS is my brother in law,”  Riley says. “You know how much I love the guy. How much he’s the cat’s ass and I totally approve of how he treats you like a queen.”

“You’re one of the few people in my life who do. Love him.”

“Well NOT everyone can have exceptional taste.   They’re just bitter and jealous. You got out of that shit hole and away from their crap.   They’re all still stuck in and thriving on it; too chicken shit to ever think on their own, in fear of pissing off Mommy Dearest. Tyler’s the best thing that came along to that family in...well...forever.  They’re just pissed they can’t control him; that he gives zero fucks about any of them and doesn't shy away from letting them know.”

“Mommy Dearest still insists he’s the WORST thing to ever happen. That I’ve somehow been forced into this life and he’s somehow brainwashed me and has some strong and powerful hold over me that keeps me around.”

Riley gives a derisive snort.

“I mean even in her condition, she still managed to send me an email asking me when I was going to get my shit together and realize ‘that man’ is nothing but poison and bad news.  She didn’t even remember the twins’ birthdays or Millie’s. Or she did and just didn’t give a shit. She’s always treated those kids differently from the rest. All because she has this stupid, imaginary axe to grind against Tyler.”

“Fuck her,” Riley snarls. “You’re way too good for her. For that whole damn family. You always have been. And he is DEFINITELY way too good for them. Probably why none of your brothers like him; he makes them feel inferior and most definitely puts their masculinity into doubt. They’re probably pissed off their wives think of him when they’re flicking the bean.”

Esme frowns. “Riley!”

“Please tell me you’re still not bringing your bullshit; the whole insecurity crap. Who cares if other women lust after your husband? Or if they get themselves off thinking about him? Who is the one HE is getting off in person?  Who gets to have THAT going down on her whenever she damn well wants? Cut your shit; he only has eyes for you.”

“It’s not him I don’t trust.”

“He knows how to say no. I’m sure he has, many times.  No one else exists in his eyes. There’s not one woman in this world that would make that man unfaithful. So stop. Let other women...and probably more than a handful of men...fantasize about him. You get the real thing. I mean, he is so hot, he almost turned ME straight. Almost.”

Esme laughs at that.

“And that last picture you sent? The family one you guys did before Christmas? Whoa! Dude is looking thick and buff as fuck! What are you feeding him?”

“His favourite meal. Remember what he told you THAT was?”

“I sure as shit do! It’s the same as mine. Atta boy. The man from down under likes to spend a lot of time down under. That’s the spirit! And speaking of my favorite Aussie, what the fuck Tyler? What kind of god awful shitty mess did you get yourself caught up in?”

“Godawful shitty mess does not even begin to accurately describe what happened, believe me.”

“I called your place because I wanted to come down and visit for a couple of weeks next month. Finally see Australia! Bring the new girl for you all the meet. Cuddle my nieces and nephews and spoil the shit out of them with presents and candy.  And what do I find out? What does Fire Chief Dick for Brains tell me?”

“I’m sorry, Ry. I should have called you. I just didn’t want to burden you. I know you have a lot going on with school and placement and your social life and…”

“Fuck all of that. None of that matters. You’re my sister. That’s my brother in law. The father of my nieces and nephews. You’re my family.  All that matters to me is you guys.”

“Please don’t take it personally. It’s just a huge mess and my brain is not functioning at a hundred percent right now. All I’ve been concentrating on is him.  He’s my number one priority right now; helping him heal and getting him out of here and sent to a hospital back home. I didn’t purposefully leave you out.”

“Do you need me to come? Just say the word MeMe. I’ll get on the next flight.”

Esme smiles at the nickname; a little something a then four year old Riley had come up with because she couldn’t properly pronounce her new step sister’s name.  “I missed that,” she says. “Hearing you call me that.”

“You’ll always be MeMe to me. Do you need me there? Do you WANT me there? Because I will put everything aside and get to you. You know I will.”

“As much I’d love to see you and have you here, I don’t want you to do that. I want you to concentrate on school and your placement and your new love.  And Tyler would want all that, too. He would not expect you to drop everything for him. He’d give you shit for it, you know he would.”

“He is such a stubborn fuck, I swear. Love the guy, but he does my head in. And this isn’t about expecting it from me; it’s about me wanting to be there for you. I want to be there for you. Let me be there for you.”

“Ry, I love you and appreciate you so much. And I miss you. Terribly. But this isn’t the place for you. You need to stay where you are and concentrate on school and just get on with things.”

“How am I supposed to do that when Tyler is messed up like his? How am I supposed to concentrate on things when you’re going through this?”

“Because that’s what we BOTH want you to do. There is no reason for you to put your life on hold to come here. Everything is so up in the air right now.  There’s no timetable for his recovery; we have no idea how long it’s going to be until he can be sent home. And even then he’s going to be admitted to a hospital there.  It’ll be awhile until he’s home, home.”

“This is just such bullshit,” Riley sighs heavily. “I am so sorry. MeMe. That you’re going through this. I know how much you love him. I can’t even begin to imagine what it’s like; seeing him so torn up. It was bad, wasn’t it. What was done to him?”

“It was pretty damn bad.  He was in really rough shape when he was brought in.”

“How rough?”

“The roughest. Worse than seven years ago. Way worse. He told me that he didn’t want to die, but he was expecting it.”

“Jesus…” Riley breathes. “...for a guy like Tyler to come right out and admit that…”

“It was horrible; seeing him like that. I will never forget that as long as I live. I thought what I saw on the bridge...had to do on the bridge...was awful. But seeing him? After the surgeries and all the wounds so new and fresh?  I can’t even begin to describe it. How it made me feel.”

“I am so sorry,  I am so goddamn sorry.”

“I mean, that’s the love of my life. The father of my kids. The strongest person I’ve ever known. And to see him like that…like this…”  she takes a deep, shaky breath and releases it slowly.  “...it hurts. So much. That’s my whole heart, Riley. HE’S my whole heart.”

“I’m going to come there. To Dhaka. I don’t want you going through this alone. I don’t…”

“I’m fine,” Esme assures her. “I really am. I’m not alone either; a lot of friends are here to help out and watch over me. And now I’ve got this little muffin…” she lifts the edge of the blanket and glances down at Addie; those huge brown eyes staring up at her, then crinkling when the infant smiles.   “...it’s better now that she’s here. Or at least that one of them is here.”

“Do you want me to go to Australia? I can stay at your place, help with the kids. As much as I hate Fire Chief Dick for Brains, I’ll put up with him. Just for you.”

“The kids are fine, I promise. I just miss them. A lot. Once he’s transferred home, it’ll be a whole new ballgame.”

“Any remote idea on what that’s going to be?”

“Two weeks. Three at the most.”

“Shit…”  Riley shakes her head. “...oh Tyler, what the hell bruh…”

“It could have been worse. It could have been a lot worse. There could have been five kids with no daddy.”

“I don’t even want to think about that. How is he now? How is he doing?”

“He’s being weaned off of sedation. He has wakeful moments; periods where he’s pretty lucid.  His memory is shit; he asks the same questions at least six times an hour. That’s just the meds though. They said once the sedation is totally out of him, his brain will go back to normal.”

“Whatever normal is for Tyler,” Riley chides.  

“He’s able to stay up for quite a while. He can carry on a conversation, but he gets confused really easily. And then he gets frustrated and embarrassed and he starts shutting down.  And his emotions are all over the place; joking and somewhat happy one minute,  a weepy mess the next.”

“How’s the PTSD been?”

“Now that he’s more coherent? It’s been a mess. When he wakes up he’s very disoriented and if he’s alone or there’s people in the room he doesn’t know…”

“Freaks out?”

“He loses it. His fight or flight kicks in. And you know Tyler…”

“Always picks fight.”

Esme nods.  “And he doesn’t know what he’s doing or saying when he’s like that and he’s freaking out because he thinks I’m dead and no one can convince him otherwise. A PSW came in; while I was out. Woke him. To wash his hair and trim his beard.”

“Oh no…”

“He fucking lost it, Ry.  Which I knew would happen and is why I told them NOT to send someone in.  He just went off. It took four people to hold him down, and that was AFTER they gave him sedation. You would have thought nothing was wrong with him; that’s how hard he fought.  This is a man who can’t even walk right now. And he still scared the shit out of the PSW. Threatened to break his neck with his bare hands and told him how he’s done it before. Many times. Then told him he’d rip his head off and shove it up his ass.”

“So what’s the difference in him after all this? That sounds like Tyler on a good day.”

Esme can’t help but laugh.  “I think he made the PSW piss his pants.”

“Serves him right if he can’t follow instructions. Is it in his chart? That no one is supposed to come in?”

Esme nods.

“Well fuck him then.  Read the patient’s chart. It’s not that hard. Is it wrong that I’d give my right arm to see him rip someone’s head off and shove it up their ass? I bet he could do it too. I bet he’s done shit that defies logic.”

“Well he did once kill two people with a garden rake.”

“How fitting. A Rake, using a rake.  Perfection.  What’s his injuries like? Kyle says they’re pretty gnarly.”

“Why do you sound so pleased at the thought?”

“I’m in nursing school. This shit excites me. I can’t help it.”

“Gunshot wound to the back, lots of stitches, a torn MCL and ACL, open fracture of the right femur…”

“Do you have pictures of it?”

“Of what?”

“His femur.”

“Hell no, I don’t. Why would I want pictures of that?”

“Because that would be fucking amazing to see. Was it a true open fracture? Bone protruding and everything?”

“I guess. His friend said the bone was showing.”

“That is wild. I would have loved pictures; before AND after.”

Esme grimaces. “You’re disturbed.”

“Did they give him an ilizarov?”

“They said it would be on for a least three months. He is NOT happy.”

“Can you take pictures of that? And the gunshot wound?”

“Riley…”

“For scientific reasons, I swear. I just want to see them. I could even show my one prof and Tyler could be a case study.”

“I’d rather my husband NOT be one, thank you. He’s not your show and tell project.”

“Just go and take a couple pictures. Please? Pretty please? With  whipped cream and sprinkles and a cherry on top?”

“He’s sleeping. I am not going in there and waking him up because you're a freak.”

“Best time to do it; when he’s sleeping.”

“I would never do that to him. There’s this thing called consent. I don’t know if you’ve ever heard of it…”

“When he wakes up, ask him if you can take pictures. If you tell them they’re for Red, he’ll be good with it. I know he will. He loves me.”

“He does, actually.”

“I can’t wait to see you guys. I’ll come down; once he’s in a hospital there. Sound good?”

“Sounds good.”

“I talked to Mildred by the way…”

“I don’t know how many times I have to tell you, Millie is NOT short for Mildred.”

“Actually, it is.”

“Her name is not Mildred, though.”

“She LOVES when I call her that. Loves it.  Anyway, how grown up is she sounding all of a sudden? It’s like she’s six going on sixteen! What is up with that kid?”

“She’s her father. What more do I have to say?”

“She even sounds like him! The way she says certain words and little sayings she has. I couldn’t believe it; it was like talking to a mini, girl version of him.  Freaky!  She’s pretty pissed, huh? At you?”

Esme sighs. “Unfortunately.”

“I told her to smarten up. That she’s got a great mom and she needs to appreciate it AND you. I told her to get her shit together and respect you. That if her dad finds out what she’s up to, it won’t be pretty. I said that he’ll stick up for her mom no matter WHO is disrespecting her. I think that scared her.”

“There’s nothing she hates more than the thought of her daddy being mad at her. That’s her WORST fear, I swear.”

“Well she needs to cut the attitude. I don’t tolerate that shit. I don’t think I’m the favorite Aunt anymore, by the way.”

“You’re her only Aunt.”

“I guess I’m excommunicated then.  And speaking of being an aunt, let me see my little poop face.”

Esme removes the blanket covering Addie, then holds her onto the arms and places her in line with the camera.

“Oh my God…” Riley gives an excited squeal.  “...look at Auntie Ry Ry’s little poop face! You’re getting so big!”

“You’re kidding, right?” Esme laughs. “She just got into the newborn clothes. She’ll be four months.”

“She’s still grown a lot since the last time I saw her. Look at you, Addie! Look how beautiful you are. Look at how much you look like your mommy! You’re the lucky one, huh? Getting your momma’s looks? She’s smiling, MeMe. That smile is everything! She has Tyler’s smile.”

“It’s the one thing they all inherited. And she also got his appetite. I really need to get back to feeding her and I know it’s not the most pleasant thing to see while trying to have a conversation.”

“I don’t know, MeMe. I’ve had to look at worse things. You’ve got really nice boobs, actually. Tell him I said he’s lucky.”

“You’re too much. But I miss you. I can’t wait to see you.”

“As soon as you guys get home, I’ll be on my way,” Riley promises. “And if you need anything, and I mean anything, you call me. Right away, hear me?”

“Loud and clear.”

“Chin up, okay? He’s got this. He’s a tough shit. He’ll be alright.”

“I know he will,” Esme says confidently, then blows her step sister a kiss in farewell before killing the video feed.

****

She pokes her head into the room when she returns, smiling when she finds him awake and sitting up in bed; the angle of the mattress slowly increasing with each hour, giving his back used to being in different positions and not allowing the muscles to settle and stiffen.

“Hey,” she greets. “You’re awake.”

“I am.”

“What are you doing?”

“I’m texting you. Just taking me forever; hands won’t stop shaking.”

“I’m here, you might as well just tell me what you want to say.”

“I’m gonna send it anyway…” a grin tugs at the corners of his mouth. “...I’m almost done. Be patient.”

“That’s more your thing; being patient.”

“You’ve been plenty patient the last couple of days. There...all done...sent.”

Her phone vibrates within the pocket of her hoodie, and she pulls it out to check the message; smiling at the simple -yet honest and heartfelt- words. “You’re cute,” she gushes. “I’m going to send you one back.”     She steps out into the hall; composing her own text. Just a short and sweet: I love you too.   Accompanied by a selfie of her puckering her lips for a kiss. “Well…” she pokes her head back into the room.  “...did you get it?”

“Yep.”  A broad smile spreads across his face. “Want me to send something back? A dick pic?”

“Not when there’s a tube in it, I don’t. I do have a separate file for them though; where I put all the dick pics you send me when you’re away from home.”

“You’re dirty.”

“You’re the one who sends them! Where’s Andy?”

“He went downstairs to get something to eat. I told him I’d be fine by myself.”

“Pretty awesome, huh? That he can all this way to see you?”

“Yeah, it is.  He’s a good guy; I’m glad I sucked it up and talked to him that day at the school. Why are you poking your head in like that? Why don’t you just come in?”

“I have a surprise for you.”

“Are you naked?”

“You wish.”

“Is it a blowjob?”

Esme frowns. “What is wrong with you?”

“A lot. I probably couldn’t get it up anyway. Not with a tube sticking out of it and all the meds I’m on. What’s the surprise? Want me to close my eyes? Will it make it better?”

“This is going to be an awesome surprise no matter what. But go ahead.”

“You ARE naked, aren’t you. Baby, as much I appreciate your willingness and your effort to make me feel better at all costs, that part of me is not gonna work right now.”

“I am definitely NOT naked. It’s going to be a while before you get to see me with no clothes on. You are nowhere close to being ready for that.”

“You’re underestimating me.”

“That’s one thing I never do, trust me. You want the surprise or not? I promise you, this is an amazing one.”

“Even better than when the kids make me breakfast in bed and cupcakes for my birthday?”

“Even better,” she says, and then waits for him to close his eyes; carrying Addie into the room. “Don’t open them until I tell you to.  I brought you a little visitor.”

“One of those hospital therapy dogs? Like a corgi or some shit?”

“Way better and way cuter.”

“I don’t know, wife. Those are pretty damn cute.”

“Trust me, this is much better and will cheer you up a hundred times more than any dog ever could.”  She stands on the right side of the bed; easier to transfer Addie onto his good arm.  And she removes the receiving blanket draped over her daughter as she leans over the railing; a smile already curving the baby’s lips and her tiny hands reaching for her father.  “No sudden movements, alright? You don’t want to accidentally hurt the surprise. Open your eyes.”

He does as he’s told. A brief moment of confusion etched on his face as he looks down at the baby in his wife’s arms, then up at her. “Are you serious?”

“Andy brought her.  She’s been missing you just as much as you’ve been missing her. Look at her; she’s already smiling at you. She’s so happy to see you. There’s no one she loves the way she loves her daddy.  Wait until you see her little outfit.”

“I thought she wasn’t coming until tomorrow. That Ovi was bringing her.”  His eyes narrow. “How long was I asleep??”

“There was a change of plans; a little something Andy and Ovi came up with together. Here…”  she gently lays Addie along his left forearm; settling the baby’s head in the crook of his elbow. “...look at her little shirt? Isn’t it perfect? Daddy’s little peanut. Andy made it for her.”

“It is perfect. SHE’S perfect.”

“Look at her looking at you...look at that smile..all she sees is her daddy. Not what happened to him. Feels good, right? To have her here? To have her in your arms like this?”

“Yeah…” emotion chokes at him, and he leans down to press a kiss to Addie’s forehead, lightly chuckling when those tiny hands grab at his hair and his nose. “...feels amazing, actually.”

Esme leans into him, draping an arm across his shoulders. “I’m pretty sure she feels the same way. She definitely missed you.”

“I missed her,” he says, and kisses the tip of Addie’s nose. “Daddy missed you so much, baby girl. So much.”   The tears come now; a mixture of relief and happiness combined with the anger and frustration at being laid up and unable to perform even the simplest tasks for himself.

“Hey…” Esme places a kiss to his temple and rubs and squeezes his shoulder. “...it’s okay.  All uphill from here, remember? You’re doing amazing; don’t doubt that. Please don’t doubt that.”

“I didn’t think I’d get this chance again; to see her, hold her. I was pretty damn sure I wouldn’t.”

“Well you’re a tough cookie, Tyler Rake. If there’s anyone on this earth that can survive THAT and do this well, it’s you. I know how much you love proving people wrong. And you’re doing that. I also know how much you want to get out of Dhaka. I know that’s your main driving force for trying as hard as you are.”

“I just want to go home.  Even if it is to a hospital there. I just want to be home.”

“Soon,” she promises. “And if you keep doing as well as you are, it will be even sooner than any of us thought. I don’t want you to hurt yourself though, okay? I know sometimes you try to do to much, too soon. And I don’t want you doing that. I don’t want you busting your ass to the point it sets you back.  I know you don’t want that either.”

“I just want to feel my legs. It’s driving me crazy that I can’t. It freaks me out. I wake up and I forget it’s only temporary and I fucking lose it. You know that’s one of the worst things possible in my eyes; not being able to do things, not being able to have the life I had.”

“There’s no reason to worry about that. In a couple days, you’ll get the feeling back. This too shall pass.  It won’t be a while until you’re back to being the old you, but you WILL get there. I promise.  And you can’t tell me this won’t help. Having Addie here. That it won’t lift your spirits a bit.”

“She already has. She’s lifted them a lot, actually. I didn’t think I’d ever get to do this again. See you, see her.”

“Well, you DID get to do it. We’re here. We’re BOTH here.”  She moves her hand to the nape of his neck, massaging gently.  “Are you okay with her? She seems pretty happy where she is; I don’t think she’s going to want you to put her down anytime soon.”

“I’m good.  I’m not giving her up.  They’d have to pry her out of my cold, dead hands. She’s getting bigger, huh?”

“I thought the same thing when I first saw her. Feels like we’ve been away from her for a lot longer than we have. She’s still super tiny though.”

“She is. Just a wee little thing. Like her momma,” he presses another kiss to Addie’s brow. “Beautiful like your momma too.”

“In case you haven’t noticed by now, daddy is extremely  biased when it comes to mommy,” Esme addresses the infant.  “He always has been.”

“It’s not being biased when it’s the truth. It still feels weird; how light she is. Even Tanner with all his issues was never this small. She’s definitely all you. Now I’ll have two people small enough to pick up and put in my pocket.”

She combs her fingers through his hair and pecks his cheek. “You sure have your cute moments.”

“You seem to bring that side of me out.”

“Well it’s a very nice side.  But I like all your sides, so…”

Smiling, he tips his head up towards her, and she leans down and places a soft, lingering kiss on his lips.

“I know you didn’t agree with it,” she says, when he turns his attention back to Addie. “Her coming here.”

She notices the wince that briefly takes hold of his face; the simple action of using his right hand to tug the baby’s socks back up causing pain in the injured shoulder.

“I was just worried. About her being here if things went to shit again. I know we think they’re all gone; Asif’s people.  But I didn’t want to take that chance. Especially with her.”

“There hasn’t been any movement. Not even a whisper of trouble.  And you know Anil; he’s got all kinds of ears to the ground. I think it’s really over this time. I think we’re finally going to be able to put this place behind us. It’s time; to leave Dhaka behind.”

“I definitely don’t plan on coming back for a visit, that’s for sure. So if you have Dhaka on that ‘places like you’d like to vacation’ list, you can go ahead and erase it right now.”

“I have had enough of Dhaka to last me a lifetime, believe me. You know, you have this real habit of choosing extremely dramatic and painful ways to get out of taking me anywhere.”

Tyler grins. “Neither of the times I bailed on you were intentional, I swear.”

“I think we should stop planning ahead when it comes to going away. It’s like we jinx it somehow; talking about it too soon.  How about next time, we just decide on the spur of the moment to go somewhere? That way we shock the universe with our spontaneity and it doesn’t have time to recover until we’re BACK from our trip.”

“Sounds good to me. And we’re going to need one; a trip. When all this is over. I know it’s going to be a while, but we are definitely going to need a vacation.”

“Well tell your pocketbook to expect Bora Bora or The Maldives. I’m getting my suite on the water.”

“I will get you whatever you want, baby. Whatever your little heart desires.  You just tell me what it is and I’ll do it. I’ll get it for you.”

“You healthy and back on your feet.  That’s all I want.”

“I’m working on it.”

“I know you are,” she kisses his temple. “And you’re doing amazing. I’m so proud of you, Tyler. So fucking proud of you.”

“You’re going to make me cry. Again.”

“I can’t help that you’re so beautiful when you cry. And it would be happy tears, right?”

“Very happy tears.” He lays his palm on Addie’s stomach, all of her fingers wrapping around one of his. “She’s tiny, but she’s strong. Has a hell of a grip.”

“She’s like her daddy. Tough as nails.”

“I don’t know,” he smiles up at her. “I think her momma has me beat in the toughness department.”

“I think…” she places a kiss to his brow, then the bridge of his nose. “...you totally underestimate yourself. He does, doesn’t he, Addie? Underestimate himself. Tell daddy he’s tough as hell and the strongest, bravest person you know. Tell him how the sun shines out of his ass and he poops glitter and pisses rainbows. That’s how you look at him, might as well tell him too. Because his ego isn’t quite big enough, yet.”

He smirks. “My ego took a hell of a beating.”

“Well tell your ego to shut the fuck up,” she affectionately tousles his hair. “There was nothing you could have done, Tyler. You didn’t know this going to happen; that things were going to go this bad. There was nothing to suggest that he who shall not be mentioned was capable of something like that.”

“We both knew he was sketchy as fuck.”

“Being sketchy and being psychotic are two totally different things. You did everything right; you got Neysa and Aarev out, you went back to get him out.  There’s no way you could have known what he was going to do.”

“Should have listened to Koen and left his ass there.”

“Koen said that?”

He nods.

“You remember that? Him saying that?”

“I can remember things that happened BEFORE it all went down.  Things that I said, that other people said. I can remember getting Neysa and Aarev out and going back in to get N...him.  But after that, it’s pretty muddled.”

“But you do remember things?”

“I THINK  I’m remembering them. I THINK  it’s things that happened. I’m not sure though; if they’re real or my brain is just making shit up. I DO remember...vividly...him shooting me in the back. Everything else? I don’t know what’s real and what I’m imagining. And honestly, babe? I don’t think I want to remember.”

“But you might. And that could get pretty scary for you; things coming back to you.”

“I know.”

“Once we’re home, we’ll get you some help okay? Some therapy. For the mental stuff.”

“Alright.”

“I know you hate that side; seeing therapists and talking to strangers and having to take meds. But you know what I hate? Seeing your brain torturing you like it does. I hate that you have to go to war every damn day with your own mind. I just want you to be okay.  You know that, right?”

“I do know that. I’ve never doubted that. Not once in the last seven years.”

“Even the toughest need help, sometimes. And I’ll get you that help. I promise. I’ve got you. Always.  You’re my ride or die, remember?”

“Yeah…” he chuckles. “...you’re mine too.”

“You’re going to be okay,” she assures him. “Inside AND out. You’re already on your way.  And I’m not going anywhere. I'll be here, right beside you, every step of the way.”

“What about after? When I AM better? You still going to stick around? The whole pain meds thing?”

“We talked about that. You know where I stand; about you needing to deal with that. That’s a deal breaker, Tyler. Because I can’t live like that. And I won’t let our kids live like that either. I love you. More than you could possibly ever comprehend. But that? I can’t do THAT.”

“I’ll do whatever I have to. I don’t want to lose you. Or my kids. Whatever I need to do...whatever YOU need me to do...I’ll do it. No hesitations. Whatever it is.”

“We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it, okay? Let’s concentrate on what we’re going through right now. One thing at a time.  I don’t want you to worry about anything else, alright?”

He nods. “I love you. I always have. I always will.”

“I love you,” she says, and leans down to press a kiss to his lips.   “We’re going to get through this. Our track record for getting through tough shit is at one hundred percent.  I want to keep it that way.”

“Yeah…” he closes his eyes as she rests her forehead against his. “...so do I.”

[smolberrymuffin]

Hello! Your gijinka ocs are so cool! What games are they from? And what is the relationship between them? It doesn't have to be all of them, maybe what you find most most interesting?

Pearl- Kai’s brother mysteriously vanished, and she wants to try to find him. Being a believer in the whole “safety in numbers” thing, she left twinleaf with Ava and Zetta, both of which use this as an excuse to get out of a “backwater“. Along the way, the three of them run into the other team members( Tulip and Escargot, who got along surprisingly well with one another despite the latter’s attempts at being a flirt, and Pepper, who was bound to being a maid in the old chateau for over 100 years before she decided to run away).

Black team- Conchshell leads the acting troupe, even though all he wanted to do is be the greatest kendo master in the world lol. He pretty much has to deal with all their shenanigans, even though Maveric and Astor are the main characters to do so( and is usually nicer to the rest of the group). Avery and Octavi are pretty much inseperable, and Soleil tends to hang around them the most. For Roxas? She tends to be the mean one, and is only interested in doing her job. White 2- So Maguey, Zorro, Jemma, and Yorke bonded as soon as they were forced to work together to save Tusc and Polaris from neo team plasma. They are pretty much societal outcasts. That’s all I have for them at the moment. Y team- Orion is a grumpy dude from hoenn who was made to come to kalos to help a friend of his father’s on an expedition of sort. The main problem is that a cult started to become more active, and this forces him to change plans( and somehow a bunch of women fricking joined him , and he doesn’t really feel comfortable being the only guy). He is better friends with Syri than any of the other team member. He is positive that he will be able to deal with Bellatrix and Vega without needing to rely on Virgo( the peacemaker of the group). Alpha Sapphire- Altair thought he was a genius when he thought of a plan to out pirate the pirates, so he went out on a journey with the headstrong Axis( someone he knew since his parents moved to hoenn to manage the petalburg gym) to do so, but that really meant being the himbo that wrestles a mermaid god in the end lmao.

Moon- Celeste went to Alola for a vacation, but was quickly made to be the ringleader of a circus troupe that Joule, Snowcone, and Honeynut created together. She thought it was weird that random strangers were making her lead a new circus. Oh well I guess this means an even longer vacation, amirite lads?

[unabashedrebel]

Top 10 Characters

In no particular order

1) Lara Croft (Tomb Raider) Can I just say that I love how the reboots, both the movie and the new trilogy of games were phenomenal as a long time fan of this character? They did her right. They focused on her origins, how she came to be this mythic Tomb Raider who delves into the greatest mysteries of the world while fighting against an evil Illuminati type organization.

But she always has tenacity. She always has grit. She’s not always sure of herself, or her abilities, but still continues to do it anyways because it’s the right thing to do. Not to mention I love the whole cultured rich girl who gets her hands dirty literally all the time. I’ve loved everything about her characterization in the last few years.

2) Really the entire FF7 cast but; Tifa Lockhart (FF7) Is anyone actually surprised by this one? Look at my blog. It’s pretty Tifa-rific lately. Honestly I have no good excuse for this, I can’t actually trace back what the reason was that started me on really liking her character. Basically because she’s been my video game wife since I was about 10 years old.

I guess, if I really thought about it, I enjoy her realness. She’s an optimist but not fully in your face about it, she promotes kindness, she’s the mom friend. Always looking out for everyone else at the expense of herself. They’re traits that I really admire in people, and you know what? It wouldn’t be a stretch to say that maybe those feelings were in part brought on by a video game character from my childhood. Not only that but I’ve always loved the story thread with her about the conflict she faces in doing what she believes is the right thing, and the fallout that ensues.

Not only that but she’s a fucking badass.

3) Spider-Man (Peter Parker, Marvel) Shout to to the most relatable super-hero ever created. I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that Spider-man is a staple of New York, even if he’s fictional. He’s just... boiled down to that essence of a Queens kid. It’s amazing as someone from around this area.

But seriously, I think I like Peter the most because he really is relatable. He really does worry about the same things I find myself worrying about. He really does shoot out quips like that’s his super power. He really does try and do whats right regardless of what others think. He’s conflicted, he’s unsure of himself, he’s been granted this great power and feels the need to go out and help people with it, and again at great personal expense. He’s, to me? What a hero should be.

I guess I like him so much because I see a lot of myself in him. I can relate and put myself in those shoes. I can relate my experiences to his, and i’m not talking about getting bit by a radioactive spider. I’m talking about the human side to Peter Parker. His stresses when he’s out of the tights.

4) Geralt of Rivia (The Witcher, and again I love all the characters Geralts just tops. Ciri was a close second.) Yeah, yeah call me out and say ‘someone just binged’. YOU KNOW WHAT MAYBE I DID FOR THE SECOND TIME YOU CANT STOP ME.

Seriously though. For a character who does not like being social? Geralt is so beautifully written for. Fun fact, I haven’t actually played the games save for the half way through 2 and the intro to 3. But I read the first novel and I’m working my way through the second, and Geralt? He’s a man of few words. But when he does speak? Everybody fucking listens.

5) Kassandra (AC: Odyssey) Uhhhh, first women to win the wrestling Olympics? How could I not.

As a long time fan of Assassins Creed and the wonderfully written characters that I have been lucky enough to get to know as protagonists? Kassandra takes the cake. She was blunt, sassy, smart, and took nobodies shit. Forever has she branded the word Misthios in my head with that Greek twang. To the point where I get excited when I hear it.

Maybe it was a mix of being in the Ancient Greek world with her, another one of my favorites. But there was just something about her character that stuck out to me. Something I haven’t seen in their writing since Ezio.

6) Joel (The Last of Us) How the fuck could I not love the gruff and sad dad?

Dude the characters in this game were so insanely well done. Like you could literally tell that, besides the fact that it was an amazingly fun game? The dev team TRULY cared about the story, the reception, and the buildup.

Lets be real. That first scene with him when everything starts is about as heartbreaking as it comes. It sets you up to really accept that this man has lost everything, that he no longer cares about anything but survival, because he’s already learned that when you care? Those things can be easily taken away.

He’s cold. He’s quick. He’s capable. He’s ignorant to everyone else. Right up until he meets Ellie and that little girl begins to peel back the layers and show that Joel, under it all, is actually a pretty good guy who has been dealing with his trauma by building up walls.

All and all? I would recommend anyone playing this game just to see the transition of Joel. Ellie, as well, by no small measure. But Joel’s growth was one of my favorite things to ever watch unfold in a game.

7) Revan (Star Wars) Okay so I know this ones a bit obscure. He was actually featured as a protagonist of one of Star War, in my opinion, best roleplaying games. 

Basically I love this character because I think he actually GETS the whole thing. The cults. He doesn’t really subscribe to either of them, rather he’s used them to further his own goals. Which you know, as an RPG you get to chose, usually I like to chose he did what he did for the right reasons. Because the Jedi were failing the people they had to protect. Because he couldn’t stand by and watch a war be fought while they deliberated what to do. He never fully reasoned with the Sith, and as far as I knew didn’t quite care to share their extremist values. Frankly, he’s by far been the best representation to what I feel is a very opinionated debate in Star Wars: Why chose either side? They both suck in their own ways.

He saw passed all that, started a movement, started a war of ideologies when the universe was still young enough to hear those kinds of debates play out.

His story will forever be one of my absolute favorites in Star Wars.

8) Ahsoka Tano (Star Wars) If you haven’t watched the Clone Wars animated series and you’re a fan of Star Wars? What the fuck are you doing. This character alone is enough to justify the 7 season watch.

The Padawan of Anakin Skywalker. How can that go wrong, right? Actually, Ahsoka is one of the reasons I began to like Anakin in the first place. The whole series shows a different side to characters we love, honestly, you got to see Anakin be the best Jedi general anyone had ever seen. You got to see him train this young woman into an incredible Jedi, and honestly? The younger sister relationship that Ahsoka has with Anakin is just so well done.

But beyond that there’s so much to love about Ahsoka. If you haven’t caught the theme, I really do love strong characters who still have flaws. Who still have a lot to learn. Who make mistakes. But even after she had, never once did Ahsoka give up on what she believed in. Her values, in the end, proving to be stronger to her then the values instilled by the Jedi, even if they aligned.

My favorite thing is that you got to see her journey, literally from a learning padawan to a fully fledged Jedi badass. 

If we don’t get an Ahsoka series on Disney+ I’m gonna be pissed.

9) Nathan Drake (Uncharted) Cheeky rogue with a heart of gold that often gets by on sheer luck alone.

Need I say more?

10) Tanjiro Kamado (Demon Slayer) Okay, so don’t really expect many people to know this one.This character is the main protagonist in an anime that has literally taken all my attention. From the animation, to the story, to the undeniable ways in inspires me to write Sori.

Tanjiro, perhaps, is the driving force behind this. I just love this kid okay? He started out as NOTHING. Literally, nothing. He fought against overwhelming odds, knowing full well he would die, to save his sister. And in that moment? The person he was fighting let him go. He then sent him down the path of becoming a demon slayer.

This kid, who as far as I know was part of a large family of commoners gave everything he had to training his body to fight demons. Every time he stumbled, he found the strength to continue. He never gives up. He learns, he thinks, he’s a smart kid with this absolute bottomless well of determination.

I don’t want to ruin the plot of the anime too much because honestly this has been my favorite thing since Dragonball Super. You should go watch it. I promise you will understand right off the bat why I love this character so much.

I was tagged by: @serelia-evensong​ @safrona-shadowsun

Gonna tag: @draenei-tales​ @wildname​ @zeehva​ @ravensteel​ @fair-fae​ @monster-of-master​ @palaceofthedeadmemes​ @zariasilverleaf​ @starforger​ @asharinhun​ 

I’m also not sorry this is a long post. How dare you ask me to talk about shit I love.

[cowandcalf]

10.12 – Review and Spoilers

and some I-got-carried-away thoughts on Steve's character – meta-ish and super long

I wasn't sure what to expect from this episode and I got rewarded with so many magnificent details, especially with a lot of wonderful glimpses into Steve's personality when he's competing with someone. And this said someone is not only a former team guy but this someone also drives a Ferrari and has an impressive reputation and is a hidden fan of a so-called Steve McGarrett. Magnum is such a big fan that even his own team he's working with nowadays has heard all about the legendary McGarrett moves and ops and stories. And that speaks of such a high respect Magnum has for Steve McGarrett that everything else just fades away. Magnum's respect and the honor he feels for being with Steve is real. There's this deep understanding that Steve's ready to accept at the end of the day. But only after Magnum has proved himself being worthy.

But I'm not there yet. Whoa, getting derailed so fast right from the start. So that's what I'm gonna write about most in this review: Steve and his attitude, the SEAL spirit and a bit about Magnum because he's the reason Steve acts the way he does. And I'll write about Danny, about the omnipresent, strong, gorgeous, leaving-visible-dents-in Steve's-emotional-armor presence of Danny energy. God, those references about Danny during the entire episode…I loved those! The way Steve's partner came up and was mentioned every now and then was just a blessing for my McDanno heart.

And Steve's response to Magnum's actions also speaks volumes about the relationship he has with Danny. I hope I can get it out the way I feel it. I hope, in the end, everything makes sense.

This episode is fun to watch, Steve and Magnum are all about Alpha moves, flexing muscles and showing off, trying to make an impression on the other man – in a very silent, kind of cautious, intelligent way, of course. Like the archaic animals, these men are deep inside, well-hidden. They must mark their territory. They need to check the other out before they even think about being appreciative of each other. At least, Steve acts this way. Magnum tries to wrap his mind around the fact that he's actually working a case with the human legend he's fanboying over for years, apparently.

I grew up with Tom Selleck as Magnum and his trademark, the mustache, the red Ferrari and his stupid tight blue jeans with the belt. Anyway, Magnum, in my inner world is a tree of a man, tall and super hairy and intimidating. Higgins is a whiny, rich, wobbly guy with two wonderful Doberman pinscher. And I just needed some time to get used to a smaller Magnum, with no hairy arms and legs and a female Higgins with an impressive, wonderful British accent. And even though the Magnum Pi guys did a great job, they didn't grow on me. I appreciate Magnum (the new one) for completely other reasons that have entirely to do with Steve and Danny.

Okay, we have the first encounter of the two teams. I have to emphasize another important observation and it's an ongoing feeling throughout the episode. The H50 team, the ohana bond and everything they talk about are so rich in colors, so vivid and alive and so full of honest feelings. That's how I get the vibes. Higgins and Magnum are nice…they are okay…but they didn't manage to leave an impression…and I'm sorry but I can't really make it work. Their banter seems stages, not really coming from inside and from a place of true fondness. It's…just not flowing. At least, not for me. No offense, but I can't make it work with Higgins and Magnum.

That said, seeing both teams meet just highlights the significant difference in the spirit everyone emanates. And all the H50 ohana breathes a huge amount of charisma and freaking great vibes. And I love that!

When the H50 team digests the information of Higgins who has been an ex-spy, Steve eyes her with a silent jolt in his behavior. He takes her in with that measured look and it just occurred to me that once again he's confronted with a special female species. Tough woman, working for an agency, has been a spy once and it reminds him instantly, alarmingly intense of two women who have played a significant role in his life: Steve's mother Doris and Catherine Rollins.

Steve mentions that he likes "this one", pointing to Higgins and he lets her talk but the moment that it's out she's an ex-spy Steve takes a step back inwardly and he gives her a quick all-over. That's a fascinating moment.

Magnum: "McGarrett, I know that name, you're a team guy, right? I was a team guy, too."

And Steve's answer to that, completely flabbergasted: "Is that right?" (Because what the hell?)

Steve deals with the second, silent emotional blow within a few seconds. He's not prepared to meet a former SEAL. And because Steve's bound to every SEAL with a code of honor it's literally visible how his mind works overtime to get things right in his head. This Hawaiian-shirt-wearing-bare-legged-sun-tanned guy is a former SEAL?? And Steve's anyway a bit pissed because he got an anonymous tip from a male voice leading him in the right direction. And now, he's been told that it's this guy. Steve's not fond of such moments. And he stays skeptical although his inner conviction doesn't allow him to be distant. SEALs are brothers, no matter what.

There's more!

Steve warms up to Magnum. He addresses him as, "and you Mr. Private investigator you come with me."

Steve's forceful Alpha move number one is to convince Magnum somehow to let him drive the Ferrari. Okay, here's what I think about that.

It's about ranks and pack order. it's about the high respect Magnum has for Steve and because he's a brother, one of the reasons why legends get written. It's because of guys like McGarrett that legends live on. Because McGarrett is a freaking hero! And Magnum has no problem with all of this. He doesn't need to inflate his ego by fighting Steve. In fact, he understands Steve, he feels his brother and he lets him drive, bowing to the force of nature that is Steve McGarrett. Magnum pays respect to this man and honors his service just by this move. I might exaggerate a bit but seriously, that's how I see it.

And just for the record, Steve…oh well, Steve needs a boost for his ego. He needs to show that he's the Alpha and that's he has a say in this. He needs to know he wrestled Magnum into submission and is kind of blockhead, too busy to enjoy the moment and that he made it behind the steering wheel. He's so smug and confident and almost combusts with all the joy and the arousal to have his hands on the steering wheel of this freaking, awesome Ferrari-stud! Jesus! I know he's hard while he stomps the gas! Come on, Steve, admit it!

And Magnum has the freaking nerve to mention Danny (your partner) and tells Steve right to his face that Danny doesn't do well with riding always in the passenger's seat. But Steve's glowing and the hidden smile shines through when he confirms in this classical, smug way that Danny's okay with him driving Danny's car. That's almost the cutest thing ever.

Steve, dude!

And then, Christ! The 'white knight' conversation happens. I try to summarize this. Steve reads. He reads books written by former SEALs, or about the experiences of former SEALs.

Steve: "Entertaining but unrealistic though. There's no way a character that cocky would ever, ever make it through BUD/s."

He's seriously impressed that Magnum knows the author of that said book. In fact, Robin the author is Magnum's boss. And it gets better. The 'wight knight' has left an impression on Steve. Steve admires this guy!! This cocky guy couldn't have made it through BUD/s, nu-huh, no freaking way!

Steve: "So, you're sayin' you're the white knight?"

Magnum: "Well, that's classified. But I will say that the lead character is based on a heroic, charismatic individual who will do anything to get the job done."

Guess, what? Robin has been embedded with Magnum's team for the research on this book. So, Magnum answers with Steve's favorite line - that's classified! Come on!!! That's totally Steve's mojo! And Steve's face! I can't even. He looks at Magnum and all of Steve screams what the fuck, man?

And it dawns on Steve that this cocky bastard he thinks would never, ever make it through BUD/s is in fact – Magnum! The realization…hilarious! Steve's brain shifts into gear and he can hardly believe what he's just discovered.

Steve, with a soft smile: "…I might be in the presence of greatness right now."

Then, that scene where Magnum picks the lock with his tools and Steve watches. Steve plays the correct cop who seems to follow the rules. He lets Magnum open the door though, causing a crime but the important detail is the fact that Steve points to the badge to emphasize he can't break the rules.

I remember a scene where Steve and Danny stand in front of a closed door and Danny thinks about how to get in while Steve just kicks down the door. Danny yells at him and calls him 'a Neanderthal animal' but follows him regardless of what Steve just did. Steve loves to get Danny's attention no matter how this happens. Ranting always means caring and Steve bathes in Danny's way of caring.

Magnum finds the documents hidden under the fridge. Steve makes it up to him with his compliment. "Nice found!" only to pull the next Alpha move of hastily reading the documents written in Chinese, completely ignoring Magnum.

And that scene where Magnum disarms Steve, dislodging the clip of his gun because the perp told him so. That's also a great moment, revealing what Danny has known for a long time. Steve has feelings for his gun. Magnum does as he's been told and pulls the gun from the holster. Steve's senses are on high alert and he sells out Magnum to the perp. Steve searches for a way out, but his real concerns are on his weapon. The way the sheer disbelief shows on his face when Magnum carelessly throws his gun into the bushes almost hurts and makes me laugh at the same time. Steve can't believe how disrespectful Magnum treats his gun! That's such a great moment.

Steve's excitement about driving a Ferrari is infectious. I'm sensing Alex' and Chi's personality seeping through their characters of Steve and Lou when they whisper conspiratorially about how it feels to drive a Ferrari. There's so much passion, breathlessness, and this male want and I love that short, intense moment so much.

The other, sweet glimpse of how Steve feels about Danny comes next. The team watches Magnum and Higgins bicker (I'm not fond of that bickering, too staged, too little heart and honesty in it, doesn't catch my attention) but anyway, the team exchanges funny looks, and Lou asks if they are reminded of anyone by watching the argument of the other two. Steve doesn't even bat an eye, and no one can draw a breath and his reply follows like a shot.

Steve: "Danny and I aren't like that."

Steve instantly catches on who his ohana talks about. He denies everything about what they are teasing about. Steve utters his comment on the topic with a finale tone, like anything about him and Danny bickering is non-negotiable. His arms are crossed over his chest and his stance is wide and solid, unmovable. No one touches Danny! Forbidden territory. Period. And I love that moment, it doesn't even last three seconds but it talks volumes how Steve feels about Danny.

Now, let's talk also about this epic scene in the car when Steve gets a ride by Magnum's team.

Steve: "I would've called my people, but Magnum insisted on calling you guys."

Magnum wanted his team to meet this legend, Steve McGarrett because he knows how much this would mean to his guys! That's so cute and sweet and lovely and really, really kind and deep. I have feelings about this, Magnum genuinely admires Steve, being a SEAL with every fiber of his body and soul. Heaven help!

And before Magnum's team can catch up Magnum has a little chit-chat on his own with Steve and about being a SEAL and about…so much for "no man left behind". Again, some arm-wrestling to prove who's stronger but there's no heat behind that argument more like old buddies catching up.

And then…ohmygod!! TC is my hero! TC says one of the most epic sentences ever in this episode! I'm still reeling from those words. They are super great, sweet Jesus!

TC: "I'm sorry, but I got to ask. There's this SEAL named McGarrett that we always used to hear about. Fought in Operation Avalanche and the Battle of Garmsir. He also led the team that rescued those hostages in Karachi."

THAT'S PURE ADMIRATION RIGHT THERE!! Not only does this mean that Magnum has been gushing about McGarrett all the time because he's so fond of this guy and full of admiration, no, it also shows us what kind of hero Steve is. But SEALs don't talk about their work. They just get the job done and move on. They work in the shadows.

But Steve answers that kind of question…like:

Steve: "Yeah, yeah, that was me."

I mean…*LE GASP*!! WHAT?? How can he just give such a flat-out super direct answer and admitting every-fucking-thing?? I was like…BACKPADDLE! I CAN'T KEEP UP WITH WHAT JUST HAPPENED!

I mean. Whoa! From all the moments Danny has been asking Steve questions about his work in the Navy and as a SEAL there was always the same answer is given by Steve: "I neither can confirm nor deny it." Or my favorite one: "This is classified." And those answers always drove Danny up the wall and into more ranting.

Do you remember the time where the H50 team was allowed to join the operation room from an active SEAL operation? They helped to solve a case where a drug lord (I guess) was involved and they could watch the last op where a SEAL team took out the targets and killed all the tangos. So, and there was Danny asking Steve inappropriate questions about "Operation Strawberry field"…he was making fun of Steve in an odd Danny way. Joe White was quite fed up with Danny's attitude and he glared at him to get him to shut up. Steve seemed really a bit ashamed of Danny's disrespectful behavior.

Anyway, when Danny saw the live feed on how the SEAL team breached the house and how they were killing with precision and a tough skill set every target on place he suddenly went all quiet. He whispered to Steve: "You did that too?" with a tight voice. But Steve only said that he could neither confirm nor deny this question.

The realization of Steve's assigned task as a SEAL hits Danny like being clocked with a brick. But anyway, Danny has never admired Steve's SEAL career in an open way because he knew already then, that Steve's ego is about as big as Texas anyway. But that moment had an impact on Danny and he started to get the big picture.

Okay, let's go back to Steve's answer: Yeah, yeah, that was me. Maybe he said that because he still feels a bit intimidated and surprised by sitting next to the 'white knight'.

The way Steve's answered TC kind of caught me off guard. He's admitting so openly that he was the one leading those operations and he kind of enjoys the admiration (he soaks it up like a dry sponge…to be honest). He really loves being the center of the attention and that's a new one. It's touching how much TC and Rick are really into Steve and his way of being a real hero.

And then TC goes for the kill: "Man, do you realize this is the same cat that took out Anton and Victor, Hess?"

Hello?? TC addresses Steve as 'the same cat'…God! This is highly seductive and hot…as in stealthy, lethal, super primal jungle cat…I mean, what the hell, TC?

The guys are not finished yet.

TC: "This dude is a legit legend."

And here comes Rick: "You know, and I'm glad you brought it up because I-I just want to say, sir, it's an honor." (and he turns to look at Steve.)

Steve: "Thanks, bud."

TC: "We are in the presence of greatness."

(I'm so dead! This is so emotional and I love TC and Rick and Magnum, too because they are pure bliss for Steve's soul and heart.)

And it's not finished yet! There's this last scene where Steve thanks Magnum for working with him on the case. Steve had fun.

Magnum sees Joe White's picture on the wall and they talk about Joe. Steve is moved and there's a short flare of pain but the bonding happens over the fact that Magnum also knew Joe as one of the best instructors ever. And not only is Steve a legend but also in Magnum's eyes, he's also been close to Joe White. Magnum is a decent guy. There's no jealousy coming off of Magnum, only camaraderie and the joy to have gotten to know another brother. And I really love that about him.

I really appreciate the fact that Magnum offers Steve in a nice way to sit down and to talk. Let's grab a beer some time, referring to them as 'us team guys got to stick together' and Steve says 'yes' and not only that.

Steve: "Maybe you can bring those boys along. They're good for the ego."

And Steve shows Magnum the long-overdue respect by calling him the White Knight and telling him his secret is safe with him. Seriously, what a pile of emotions.

And that's such a sweet, honest thing to say and it's Steve who admits it. I just love this scene. And all these moments are also soaked with Danny's energy. First, Magnum wants to meet Steve's partner. Danny's kind of legend too, I guess. Who could keep up with the legit legend Steve McGarrett? This must be one of a kind. And Danny knew Joe White. Danny has been there when Steve just quit the SEALs to start Five-O. He has been with Steve all the time. Danny has helped him to adjust, to find his footing after being in the Navy for years.

And Danny has never been openly impressed by Steve's crazy. He always calls him out on his recklessness. He gives Steve a hard time and rants at him and tries to talk some sense into him. Danny has an unmatched backbone like no other and Steve admires that with all he's got.

And, of course, Steve wants to drag Danny along when they'll have that beer because he doesn't want to miss out on any of Danny's reactions when TC and Rick are all over Steve and fanboying like there's no tomorrow. What a show!

Okay, let's sum it up – it was a great episode with tons of hidden treasure I tried to dig up a bit. The last scenes are great, too. I love that Tani gives Junior a call and asks him out on a date. June sweet eye-widening speaks a silent, strong language and then…THAT CLIFFHANGER!! Oh god!!

Guys, that's it. I have nothing more to add only to emphasize how much secrets I've gotten to discover due to Magnum's attitude to treat Steve the way he did. And through Magnum Steve reveals a lot about how he feels about Danny and much more.

10.12 – another great episode.

Fin

[cousinmarcustalkswrestling]

Best NXT Matches of 2020 - The Top 5

5

DIY vs Moustache Mountain - Worlds Collide

Man that Worlds Collide card was great. This was a simple tag team dream match between two awesome tag teams that have never really crossed paths. Crazy talented Tyler Bate has some silky smooth wrestling sequences with Gargano and Ciampa that makes me clamor for singles matches with both of them. Ciampa and Seven have a funny posedown where Seven bows out before he officially hold his L. Its a fatphobic moment, but I ain’t gon trip. It’s a playful babyface tag match until Ciampa remembers that he’s a psychopath and he decks Seven with a forearm. Repentant babyface Gargano joins Ciampa and superkicks Bate and from there this match takes off with high octane action and some creative sequences.

Ciampa and Gargano tear into Bate and Seven gets the hot tag in a fun reversal of how they usually do things. Gargano hits the Final Beat DDT at the same time that Ciampa hits the Widows Bell DDT. Bate goes for a flying back elbow on Ciampa, but gets V Triggered out of the sky. There’s a great sequence where Gargano tilt-a-whirls into Gargano Escape on Bate, but Bate counters to the Airplane Spin, but Gargano rides him back down into it. Ciampa locks in a double armbar on Seven and we got a flashback to DIY vs Revival at Toronto. Bate and Seven escaped the stereo submissions and we get a fun double airplane spin. Bate accidentally rebound clotheslines Seven and they have a sweet moment where Seven protects Bate from Meeting in the Middle. They coldcock DIY though and land a sweet Burning Hammer/Flying Knee combo on Ciampa. In the end, DIY kills Seven with Meeting in the Middle and end this dream match.

4

Finn Balor vs Kyle O’Reilly - NXT Title - Takeover 31

Kyle O’Reilly being in the main event of a Takeover was a pretty far out idea, but one torn shoulder and a seemingly unplanned 30 day turnaround between Takeovers has made it so. Balor beat Adam Cole for the vacant title on September 8 and O’Reilly won a Gauntlet Eliminator for the title shot two weeks later. NXT’s always succinct video packages edged Kyle babyface and boiled him down to a dude who just really loves wrestling. And wrestling is exactly what we get. Not just wrestling, but some of the best pure wrestling of the year.  This is a great display of matwork, pacing, and psychology. This reminds me of Shingo vs Ibushi from the G1, where they could easily go full throttle all action, but instead they’re way more patient and we still get a great match from it.

Kyle has an awesome performance here as his selling is super sympathetic, while his work attacking Finn’s arms and legs is vicious. Finn, in my favorite Balor incarnation as The Prince, appropriately responds with his own nasty offense. In particular, one spinning kick looks like it ruptures Kyle’s spleen. Kyle goes for a cross armbreaker at one point and there’s a great sequence as we get a close up view of Balor’s fingers unlocking one by one until Kyle locks the armbreaker all the way in. Kyle legit breaks Finn’s jaw with a running knee in the corner and shortly after that, Finn ends it with the Coup De Grace. The ending was a leeeeetle too sudden and out of nowhere for understandable reasons. It definitely feels like they had a 4-5 more minutes to really build to their ending. No matter what, its an excellent wrestling match that basically sealed Finn as NXT’s male wrestler of the year and elevated Kyle to another level.

3

The Broserweights vs The Undisputed Era - Tag Team Titles - Takeover Portland

You know that point in long-ish tag matches where there’s a hot tag and everything breaks down and everything is just super entertaining chaos. This match is like that from the start and its awesome. There’s a relentless amount of double teams, nearfalls, nearfall saves, and momentum shifts. I had the very sneaky suspicion that one of the Broserweights were gonna turn on each other. The match kinda supported my theory because there’s moments where Dunne accidentally hits Riddle & moments where Riddle accidentally hits Dunne. Throughout it all, the Broserweights win this tornado of a match and take the tag titles. This was by far the best tag team match I saw this year. Unfortunately, the pandemic forcing Dunne to England and Riddle’s sexual assault allegations and call down to Raw broke up this team and completely derailed NXT’s tag team division for the entire year.

2

Candice Lerae, Toni Storm, Dakota Kai, & Raquel Gonzalez vs Shotzi Blackheart, Io Shirai, Rhea Ripley, & Ember Moon - War Games Match - Takeover War Games

Once the Charlotte experiment was over, the women of NXT were featured more and more on TV and emerged in the fall as the best division in the world that carried the show while the fellas were affected by injuries and weird direction and stuff. Shotzi and Candice lead their stacked teams to this WarGames match that felt like a violent feather in the cap of a tremendous year for the ladies.

Ember & Dakota start things off and have a great five minute segment showing off their chemistry before Shotzi comes in. The babyfaces having the advantage is an odd decision, but they work pretty simply and Dakota is crafty enough to not make it a weird dynamic where she turns herself face. Big Momma Raquel is next and things get ugly for the faces. Rhea is next and has a great staredown and brawl with Raquel. Toni Storm is next and she chooses violence bringing in numerous kendo sticks and takes off the turnbuckle pads. The action is brutal, creative, and constant and very rarely feels phony or choreographed. There’s a required Tower of Doom spot and a lot of weapon shots. Io Shirai is next and she wants to introduce more weapons, but Raquel keeps her out with a few hard big boots. Io dropkicks a chair into her face, but Toni locks the door to keep Io out. Candice Lerae is finally in and she has Indi Hartwell take out Io so the heels keep their handicap advantage, but the match can’t officially start without Io. In one of the funniest spots of the year, Io climbs to the top of the cage puts a garbage can over her head and leaps onto everybody.

With the match officially started, we get a bunch of super entertaining action. Rhea and Io have some awesome tag team moves, Ember hits Dakota with a crazy Eclipse two chairs, Shotzi sentons Candice off a ladder onto chairs. Its an awesome blend of skillful wrestling, creative spots, and brutality. In the end, Raquel catches Io going for a super rana and powerbombs her through a ladder to secure the win for Team Candice. An awesome spectacle of lady excellence.

1

Io Shirai vs Rhea Ripley - Women’s Title - November 18

Io Shirai had an incredible year as Women’s champion and saved the title from the terribly booked Charlotte reign, by being one of the most consistent performers in the world and having great matches with the every name worth a damn in NXT. Rhea’s momentum from early this year was severely damaged by her disappearance after her loss to Charlotte Flair, but she slowly recovered, had some damn good matches and before you know it, she had all her swag back. It makes sense for this to be a big match up, but the unique thing about it is that Io Shirai took the initiative to call out Ripley. That instantly gave their match a very different dynamic that they play into and we got one of the best matches of the entire year.

Io’s brings the aggressive mentality of her challenge to the match and goes right after Rhea. She gets the best of her with her athleticism until Rhea yanks her into an electric chair drop on the apron. Even when she’s being overpowered though, she never alters her approach and she never sticks and moves. Staying in the pocket with Rhea is a dangerous proposition, but Io is just that crazy. Io slips out of a superplex attempt and delivers a sick German suplex from the turnbuckle. As great of a powerhouse that Rhea is, her bumping and selling is brilliant and she really puts over Io’s damage. Rhea gets extra angry after booting the hell out of Io, but Io snatches her left arm and goes crazy trying to disable Rhea and limit her power.

Rhea is still strong lady and gets a superplex and her reverse cloverleaf while still selling the arm, but when she goes for the Riptide, Io brilliantly counters to a cross armbreaker. Rhea escapes and decapitates Io with a clothesline, but Io counters another Riptide attempt to a spike DDT. In the awesome final sequence, Io catches Rhea on the apron with a sunset flip powerbomb THROUGH THE ANNOUNCE TABLE!! Rhea is a dead woman, but she manages to drag her corpse in the ring, but as soon as she crawls in to beat the count, Io crushes her with a moonsault to the back and ends this classic match. Great unexpected psychology, great selling, great finish,. The Ladies of NXT just got better and better as the year went on and this is probably their crown jewel example.

[hms-chill]

RWRB Study Guide, Chapter 8

Hi y’all! I’m going through Casey McQuiston’s Red, White & Royal Blue and defining/explaining references! Feel free to follow along, or block the tag #rwrbStudyGuide if you’re not interested!

James I (203): James I/VI (First of England, Sixth of Scotland) is known for both translating the Bible and being just... so, so incredibly gay. The book mentions that he promoted a dumb jock to gentleman of the bedchamber, but it leaves out that 13-year-old James would just make out with dudes in public, and that the dumb jock (George Villers) was James’s third serious adult relationship. His friends introduced him to George because his last boyfriend was bad for the kingdom. 

George Eliot (205): Mary Anne Evans wrote under the pen name George Eliot to escape the stereotype that women could only write romances. She wrote seven novels, of which Middlemarch is the most famous, known for their realism and psychological insight.

Daniel Defoe (205): A pioneer of the English novel, Defoe wrote Robinson Crusoe as well as a series of divisive political pamphlets and tracts.

Jonathan Swift (205): Irish political writer most famous for A Modest Proposal, a satirical piece that suggests cannibalism of infants as a more humane response to the British treatment of Ireland than letting them grow to starve in adulthood.

Dickens... “woman who languishes away in a crumbling mansion wearing her wedding gown” (205): Charles Dickens wrote stories concerned with the lower classes. This quote in particular refers to Miss Havisham from Great Expectations, who was left at the altar and refused to take off her wedding dress or even put away the food set out for the wedding.

Sense and Sensibility (205): This is probably Austen’s second most popular novel (after Pride and Prejudice); it follows the four Dashwood women in their move to a new home following the death of Mr. Dashwood. Like most of Austen’s novels, the opinionated narrator follows the women through a series of romantic mishaps, culminating in a happy ending.

Green American Money (206): Fun fact, British money is blue and orange and purple and all sorts of fun colors! It also all looks different, because (at least in Scotland) four banks are allowed to print pound notes, so there are four different designs all in circulation.

Sean Hannity (206): A conservative American political commentator.

Harvard rowing (206): Rowing is like... the bougiest of sports.

Pleiad (206): In Greek mythology, the pleiades were the daughters of the titan Atlas who became stars following his entrapment under the earth. They are remembered for their beauty and loyalty. Myths of the missing pleiad explain why only six of the seven stars are visible to the naked eye. According to some sources, the missing pleiad is Merope, who was shamed out of the sky for her relationship with a mortal.

Minute Maid Park (206): The baseball stadium associated with the Houston Astros baseball team; it seats just over 41,000.

Politico (207): An American political opinion news source.

Drop-kick Murphys (208): An American Celtic punk band. (listen here and here)

The Klan (209): The Ku Klux Klan, an incredibly racist organization that has been responsible for the lynching of thousands of people of color.

Kim Nam-June (210): Kim Nam-Joon, known as RM or Rap Monster, is the leader and rapper of the K-pop group BTS.

Milwaukee (211): The largest city in and main cultural center of Wisconsin, which is a “swing state”, meaning that it could go either way politically in a national election.

Seth Meyers (211): An American talk show host and comedian whose creatively titled show, Late Night with Seth Meyers, is liberal-leaning. He hosts celebrities and often chats about politics or the news.

Clear Crystal Quartz (211): Apparently the most “iconic” crystal, it is believed to be able to help with clarity and the achievement of goals.

Wimbledon (213): The oldest tennis tournament in the world, considered by many to be the most prestigious.

Royal Box (213): The royal box at Wimbledon is a section of the best seats, reserved for royalty and specially invited celebrity/politically powerful guests.

David Beckham (213): A former professional soccer player and current fashion icon known for being hot and wearing nice suits.

McQueen (214): Alexander McQueen was an openly gay British fashion designer who rose from a lower class background to become one of the most famous designers in the world. Though he died in 2010, his brand continues to be known for unconventional fashion shows and theatrical imagery. 

Dashikis (215): A colorful, ornate piece of clothing somewhere between a shirt and a tunic originally from West Africa.

Orangery (218): A very large greenhouse or conservatory designed for growing orange trees.

Woman at her Toilet (218): This painting shows a woman in her bedroom putting on her socks with a little dog next to her; you can see it here.

Baroque bed* (218): Baroque art was designed to show off a monarch’s power; it is incredibly extravagant (Versailles is pretty much the iconic Baroque thing; you can see more about it here).

The Killers (219): An American rock band formed in the early 2000s and known for having donated over $1 million to charity (they did “Mr. Brightside”). (listen here and here). According to McQuinston’s twitter, the song Henry plays is “When You Were Young”, which you can listen to here.

Dred Scott (219): In the 1857 Dred Scott v. Sandford case, the US supreme court ruled that the constitution did not extend to or protect Black folks. 

Nina Simone (219): An American singer/songwriter/political activist whose music spanned a variety of genres and whose activism focused largely on the civil rights movement and was largely influenced by her “friend” Lorraine Hansberry, a Black lesbian playwright. (You know Hozier’s “Nina Cried Power”? She’s Nina) (listen here and here)

Otis Redding (219): Considered one of the greatest singers in American pop music and was one of the foundational soul artists in the US. (listen here and here)

Brahms (219): A German composer known for sticking to more classical forms of music while his contemporaries often leaned toward more dramatic or opulent styles. (listen here and here)

Wagner** (219): A German composer who wrote both the music and the librettos for his operas; his works tend to be very complex, and he has been credited with beginning modern music. (listen here and here)

Romantic (219): Artistically, the Romantic movement was a direct response to industrialization that called for a return to and celebration of nature. Queerness was very much a part of this movement, as it was seen as a return to or celebration of one’s natural state (think Byron).

War of the Romantics (219): A music history term used to describe the split between conservative composers like Brahms who wanted to stick with the Baroque, opulent styles of the past century and radical progressive composers like Liszt, who favored newer styles that blended music with narrative and morals.

Liszt (219): A Hungarian composer known for a diverse body of work and his position as the leader of the radical progressive group in the War of the Romantics. (listen here and here)

Alexander Scriabin (219): Russian composer known for his atonal or dissonant music. (listen to the piece Henry mentions here)

Elton John’s “Your Song” (219): A song written before Elton John came out, but with his queerness in mind. In a 2013 interview, John referred to it as “a perfect song”, and that the lyrics (written by Bernie Taupin) got even better as he got older and sang it more. (listen here)

Consecrated (220): made holy.

DNC (221): The Democratic national conference, when members of the Democratic (liberal) party get together to prepare for a presidential race.

College Republicans of Vanderbilt University (221): Vanderbilt University is a private (and therefore more expensive) school in Nashville, Tennessee. Its location in the South and its price tag would both mark it as being more conservative.

Cage match (221): A type of wrestling match that takes place inside a steel cage; the most common way of winning is by escaping the cage, usually by climbing over the top.

Paul Ryan (222): A conservative retired politician and former Speaker of the House.

The Second Amendment (222): The second amendment grants Americans the right to bear arms (have guns).

Salon (222): An American news and opinion website with a politically liberal editorial stance.

Air Force One (222): the president’s plane

“My Canadian girlfriend” (223): A running joke that someone (often a high schooler) whose partner goes to another school or lives somewhere else is made up.

Five Guys (225): Five Guys Burger and Fries is a popular fast food burger chain across the US.

Vampire Weekend (225): An American indie rock band.

The general (226): the general election in November, when Americans would vote for their president

Plainclothes (226): out of uniform

The Beekman (226): A very fancy hotel in Lower Manhattan, near the Brooklyn Bridge.

NATO (233): the North Atlantic Treaty Organization; an intergovernmental military alliance between 29 North American and European countries.

----

*every time I read this, I flinch just a little bit. Baroque architecture is just... so much, and the concept of a Baroque bed when beds/bedrooms are supposed to be simple to help you rest... It’s just so much and I hate it with all of my being. I’m sorry if you like Baroque furniture, but especially for Henry, who dreams of a simple life where he can just write and be anonymous... It’s a big yikes.

** Literally no one asked, but his stuff is just... it’s so boring? Like I’m sure it’s great to fall asleep to or calm down to, but I tried to listen to it while I wrote this and I just couldn’t. Liszt is better, but he’s no Mozart. Also? Mozart wrote BOPS. ONLY. “The Birdcatcher’s Song” slaps and no one can change my mind on that.

----

If there’s anything I missed or that you’d like more on, please let me know! And if you’d like to/are able, please consider buying me a ko-fi? I know not everyone can, and that’s fine, but these things take a lot of time/work and I’d really appreciate it!

—–-

Chapter 1 // Chapter 7 // Chapter 9

[totalvibration]

55 Albums Released in 2019 That Splash Oat Milk In My Earl Grey

This year felt like slo-mo, a holding pattern and a fast-forward button stumbling towards unknown ends. I spent the early months in paternal bliss and sleep deprivation, caring for my newborn daughter, then spent the rest of the year running to slow down… to make the most of small moments with my family, to juggle that thing every lifestyle magazine calls the work-life balance, to know when I need help and being willing to ask for it, to making priorities with loved ones. 

Also, after years of oolongs and a staunch no-milk-in-tea-except-milk-teas policy, I started putting honey and oat milk in my Earl Grey, an old tea standby that's felt warmly familiar in colder months. Similarly, I dug my heels into familiar-to-me gnarly metal, deep drone and abrasive punk this year, uninterested in poptimist takes on indie-rock. In an effort to maximize more time with new family and less with bulls***, I leaned hard into my Viking's Choice column at NPR Music (which went weekly!) to shout out underground debauchery and beauty to anyone who would listen. 

Below are 55 albums (and a few reissues and archival releases) that hit me in different ways over 2019. No ranking, just links out to Bandcamp where available. They come paired with emoji because that's a thing I do on Twitter. 

See also:

Viking's Choice: The Year In The Loud And The Weird (my annual year-end episode of All Songs Considered)

20 Punk Albums Released In 2019 That Flip Eggs, Pick Up Chains

20 Metal Albums Released In 2019 That Bluurgh Over Sick Riffs

A nine-hour playlist of 2019 jamz 

But first, some stray thoughts:

Ta-Nehisi Coates' still-ongoing Captain America run has been extremely rewarding. A beloved superhero comes to terms with the line between patriotism and nationalism as Coates underlines that American progress often comes from reluctance. 

Daniel Warren Johnson's Murder Falcon spoke to me not only as a metalhead who loves cartoonishly kick-ass violence, but also as a dude with a tender heart… that final issue still gets me in the feels. 

Krzysztof Kieślowski's Three Colours is secretly a trilogy of movies about the loving, painstaking process of creation, specifically music. I'd never seen any of them until paternity leave (and a sleeping baby) gave me hours to binge long-neglected to-watch lists. In 1993's Blue, in particular, a composition mirrors the grief of Juliette Binoche in an exquisite performance. 

Tiny Desk concerts I produced for NPR Music in 2019: American Football (with a children’s choir!), Thou, Erin Rae, Carly Rae Jepsen (sort of), Jimmy Eat World and Mount Eerie (videos coming in 2020). 

There’s a gallery at Glenstone, a truly stunning museum experience, that’s literally just a room full of books, a sculpted wooden bench and a large window that looks out on the rolling hills of Maryland. I could spend hours there. 

The second season of KCRW's Lost Notes, hosted by Jessica Hopper, built episodes like albums, sequenced with eureka moments throughout. See: the story of a teenage Farsi New Wave sibling duo and a difficult and necessary reassessment of John Fahey through the women in his life.  

High Spirits (May 7, Atlas Brew Works) is such a force for good. Heavy metal singalongs about love, friendship and positivity. I feel like this band needs to tour with Sheer Mag to be fully appreciated by an unknowing audience. 

Has your baseball team ever won the pennant with the sleeping baby on your chest? So many silent screams of joy in our household as the Nats not only won the National League, but the whole dang World Series. I haven't lived in a city/state with a baseball team that's gone to the World Series since 1995. 

Circuit Des Yeux's Haley Fohr (Dec. 5, Hirshhorn) tuned her voice to feedback hum and the rest that followed felt like a wordless eulogy for 2019. I felt renewed by it. 

I can't think of a prettier song released in 2019 than "This Time Around" by Jessica Pratt. It is saudade whispered into the wind.

This was my Linda Ronstadt year. Heart Like a Wheel, Canciones de mi Padre, her records with the Stone Poneys — the Queen of LA, with a voice that both bursts out of and melts into dusk, softened the edges of long days with an equally adventurous and easygoing spirit.

🚙 Petrol Girls, Cut & Stitch: In 2019, it was crucial — life-affirming and -saving, even — to make your own noise. "This is the sound / It moves in our bodies / It passes through time / Brings what came before us," Petrol Girls' Ren Aldridge screamed at the top of a turbulent punk record filled with compassion. That boundless philosophy resonated with me this year — to listen and absorb more deeply, to excavate the traces of memory in music.

👽 Blood Incantation, Hidden History of the Human Race: Simultaneously exists in the gaping maw of death-metal tradition and the galaxy brain of its future. 

💾 Kali Malone, The Sacrificial Code: Seeks the solemnity of the drone in the pipe organ, but leans into the vulnerability pushed through the air.

🕹️ billy woods & Kenny Segal, Hiding Places:  An album-length self-excavation that crawls through moldy memories in a brutal poetry that is at times darkly funny but mostly wrestles with personal and societal truths that'll leave you touched, shook. 

📟 Holly Herndon, PROTO: One of our deepest thinkers went to the past to make music from the future. 

🚨 Rakta, Falha Comum: Creepazoid emanations from a subterranean plane.

🐣 Sunwatchers, Illegal Moves: Ecstatic protest music summoning the beauty and rage of Alice Coltrane, Sonny Sharrock, Rhys Chatham and Hawkwind. 

🏞 Bill Orcutt, Odds Against Tomorrow: The most engaging, radical, but surprisingly accessible solo guitar album of the year. Bill Orcutt's ragged-yet-tender guitar skronk gives shaggy texture to rapturous melodies.

🍕 Control Top, Covert Contracts: This hits some dance-punky Erase Errata sweet spots for me, but with the technical finesse of a power trio. 

🚟 Real Life Rock & Roll Band, Hollerin' the Spirit: Applies minimalist techniques to rumbling, dueling guitar histrionics with a reckless, but locked-in energy. Never woulda thunk American Football and Henry Flynt could hoedown together. 

🐠 Caroline Shaw & Attacca Quartet, Orange: Balances austere beauty with rumbling earth. Riveting music for string quartet. 

💥 Mdou Moctor, Ilana (The Creator): Where ZZ Top bombast, Black Sabbath riffs and Tuareg trance rhythms swirl into an acid-rock stomp. 

👑 Vagabon, Vagabon: Goes so many places, yet always returns home. 

🎭 JPEGMAFIA, All My Heroes Are Cornballs: A neon-freaked feast blasted in slow mo and fast forward all at once.

🌆 Denzel Curry, ZUU: Dude's a metal rapper without a metal band, but if he ever started one, I'm down 100 percent. 

💨 Whistling Arrow, Whistling Arrow: An avant UK supergroup of prepared guitar, violin, electronics and hypnotic percussion drinks deep of dark lagers and mossy earth.

🐸 101 Notes on Jazz: Things are getting hard around the boloney hole...

🐳 M. Sage, Catch a Blessing: Warm, fuzzy world-building from blocks of sound stretched and warped into a new nostalgia.

🚇 Mizmor, Cairn: Deliberate and patient in its annihilating pace; lumbering, yet regally melodic riffs echo into a chasm of feedback.

🌅 Takafumi Matsubara, Strange, Beautiful And Fast: Next-level grind from the Gridlink mastermind and friends. While No One Knows What the Dead Think picked up where Discordance Axis left off, Takafumi Matsubara shreds into the future.

🐎 American Football, LP3: A reunion that keeps on giving and growing. Impressionistic in its quietly bursting arrangements and attuned to the individual talents of its vocal guests, especially that stunning duet with Hayley Williams. 

🔋 v/a, Seitō: In the Beginning, Woman Was the Sun: This compilation does for modern Japanese women in experimental music what P.S.F.’s Tokyo Flashback comps did for the Japanese psychedelic scenes of yore. 

👗 Carly Rae Jepsen, Dedicated: Didn't hold together as much as I wanted, or play like E•MO•TION's late-night mixtape, but every time one of its singles popped up on a friend's playlist -- "Julien," "Want You in My Room," "The Sound" and especially the slow-burn synth-pop exhaustion of "Too Much" -- I'd think, "Carly Rae Jepsen is the Queen of the Song I Needed Right Now."

🌕 Rong, wormhat: Just bonkers. Boston's Rong channels the joyous chaos of Japanese punks Melt-Banana and the aggro skronk of Brainiac with a tad of Deerhoof's weirdo-pop hooks.

✊🏿 Sounds of Liberation, Sounds of Liberation / Unreleased Columbia University 1973: Free jazz and funk band deep in spiritual grooves. Killer performances all around, but such a trip to hear more from young vibraphonist Khan Jamal during his Drum Dance to the Motherland era. 

🐬 Great Grandpa, Four of Arrows: If Sixpence None the Richer made an emo record, but only had Return of the Frog Queen on the mood board. 

📳 Sarah Louise, Nighttime Birds and Morning Stars: One of my favorite guitarists right now. Digitally processes melodies and single notes in an electronic elation landing somewhere between Robert Fripp, Alice Coltrane and Terry Riley.

📮 Sarah Hennies, Reservoir 1: An immersive sound cycle in constant motion, a quiet rumble that slowly transforms in and out of a glorious clatter. 

👣 Psychedelic Speed Freaks, Psychedelic Speed Freaks: Munehiro Narita essentially picks up where High Rise left off, still plays the guitar like it's about to blow up. 

🍩 Town Portal, Of Violence: Most instrumental post/prog-rock puts me to sleep, but this Danish trio illustrates just how dynamic and sound-rich this music can be. 

🛀 Jim O'Rourke, steamroom 45: An electronic excavation from the deep abyss. The 37-minute "Sigaretstraat" is a master class in patience, dynamics and sublime dissonance.

🎀 Cristina Quesada, I Think I Heard a Rumor: Multi-lingual, ultra-chic dance-pop with super-smart synth arrangements. Think: Tiki drinks and mod dresses. 

⏹ John Luther Adams, Become Desert: Truly time-less music; as in, music without time. 

⏏ Julia Reidy, brace, brace: Late night, longform excursions that offer an alternate Blade Runner soundtrack with frenzied 12-string, fuzzy synth glossolalia and an Auto-Tuned bummer haze.

🚞 A Million Dollars, I Love Your Voice and I Love You: Weird and warped twee-pop that woulda headlined Silent Barn. 

📠 Priests, The Seduction of Kansas: Truth-telling and truth-seeking through a mangled disco haze and bleak New Wave romanticism. 

🏭 Werner Durand with Amelia Cuni and Victor Meertens, processions: Majestic drones capture an undulating wonder with enveloping somnolence.

🎳 Sheer Mag, A Distant Call: The denim-and-leather-jacket-wearing standard bearers of truly independent rock and roll double-downed on their sound, but opened their hearts a bit more. 

📒 Susan Alcorn / Joe McPhee / Ken Vandermark, Invitation to a Dream: Illuminates the flickering motions of exploration. 

😱 Serpent Column, Mirror in Darkness: Pitch-black metal chaos with forceful melodies twisted into the tableau. Honestly? Deathspell Omega but skramz.

🏅 Pernice Brothers, Spread the Feeling: Joe Pernice digs into his '80s record collection to return with some of his most delicately written, winsome guitar-pop in years and tons of one-liners: "Love is a shoeless charlatan, a silver-tongued huckster with a sadist’s lipless grin."

🍓 Kalie Schorr, Open Book: Whip-smart, hook-twanged country-pop raised on MTV2 pop-punk and Sheryl Crow. 

📀 Angel Olsen, All Mirrors: In a year where we lost Scott Walker, this felt like a torch passed from 1969. 

😪 Mount Eerie, Lost Wisdom pt. 2: Phil Elverum draws us in evermore, revisiting a beloved album, mode and collaborator (the remarkable Julie Doiron), and molding them into his ever-changing songwriting and circumstance. Contains the most tender couplet of the year, which I'll carry with me always: "If ever the bonfire that I carry around could warm you again / I will be out here in the weather for you glowing."

🙉 75 Dollar Bill, I Was Real: Serious hypno-grooves from these drone excavators. 

👢 Karen Marks, Cold Cafe: The early '80s artist behind the Sky Girl comp's broodiest track gets a few more songs of existential synth-pop and jangly post-punk. Just wanna put them on mixtapes for friends. 

🍻 Haunt, If Icarus Could Fly: Synthesizes an earnest, studied love for '80s heavy metal with tons of guitar harmonies and can-crushing anthems, yes, but also a ton of heart.

🍖 Bob Dylan, The Rolling Thunder Revue: The strangest, most mystical and wild Dylan persona in all of its face-painted glory. 

🌹 A Pregnant Light, Broken Play: Damian Master's endless creativity and shameless bravado coalesce into a rugged beauty. As always, riffs for days. 

🦄 Fire-Toolz, Field Whispers (Into the Crystal Palace): Clashes New Age synthscapes, clubby raves, jazz fusion and metal shrieks into an idiosyncratic master's pure creation.

🌇 Maria W Horn, Epistasis: Quiet, yet forceful acoustic elements are wrapped in the sinews of technology to blur composition. A stirring mix of icy string drones and minimalist piano. 

🐲 Soul Glo, The N**** in Me Is Me: Distills the rage and terror of living in America while being black with blunt force.

🍢 Mára, Here Behold Your Own: Snapshots of a time before parenthood rendered in garbled organ, ambient guitar loops and echoing lullabies. Felt this one deeply. 

🚙 The Go-Betweens, G Stands for Go-Betweens: The Go-Betweens Anthology - Volume 2: There's a live KCRW version of "Quiet Heart" that just absolutely destroys me. Deeply thankful for the presentation and preservation that's gone into these box sets. 

😈 Bat for Lashes, Lost Girls: A coming-of-age concept album about a teenage vampire gang that was somehow severely overlooked. Some of Natasha's most tender songwriting and a rich synth-pop world that'd make M83 jealous.

[what-if-rpg]

Welcome to the family, DEXTER! Your application to LUKE STERLING (FC: Ross Lynch) was accepted. I am really happy to give your third and last character! Make sure to read the beginners checklist, and remember, have fun! I can’t wait to roleplay with you! Have fun!

IN CHARACTER

CHARACTER NAME: Luke Dean Sterling CHARACTER AGE & DATE OF BIRTH: 20, July 12th   OCCUPATION: Student at Ohio State University.   FACE CLAIM: Ross Lynch HOMETOWN: Lima, Ohio. CITY WHERE LIVES NOW: Lima, Ohio. SEXUAL ORIENTATION & GENDER: Heterosexual and Cis-Male RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Single. POSITIVE TRAITS: Courageous, Enthusiastic, Sociable, Honest. NEGATIVE TRAITS: Reckless, Naive, Defensive, Annoying and Clumsy. CHARACTER QUOTE/LYRIC: “We are young, we are brave, we are BOHEMIANS!”

HEADCANONS

Luke Sterling has always been a bit of a wild card. From a young age he loved nothing more than to watch wrestling on the TV and imitate the stunts they would perform. This included him jumping off the table at the age of six and breaking his arm.

His dad used to joke and call him their very own Tasmanian devil as he was constantly making stupid noises and running from room to room.

The truth of it all was that Luke learnt early in life not to take life so seriously and have fun while he could. He grew up watching his parents barely smiling, being weighed down by an invisible force that he couldn’t see. He almost felt he had to have fun for them most of the time.

In school, he was a fidgety child, he did well at his work, but he never handed it in on time nor did he do it on time in class. He would often spend most lunch times in the classroom making up for the work he didn’t do in class. It took two years to break this habit until he learnt he’d rather just sit and get the work done first then get to go out and play.

When he got to high school, most of his energy was turned towards Baseball. He loved playing it but had never tried out for a team before. He took quickly to the team at Dalton even though their sport team was massively overshadowed by the Warbler’s.

Luke enjoyed singing but that was for the shower. He admired his older brother Jeff for being a Warbler, but he couldn’t help but feel like his brother was the better version of himself.

He was popular outside of Dalton. While his parents wanted him to experience the all boy school and its values, Luke found most of his friends went to different schools. He stayed in touch with all of them and was probably around most of the other kids than he was the Dalton students.

Luke was certainly one of the cool kids that hung around at malls on the weekends, wore all the best clothes and had the latest technology. He didn’t mean to show off but sometimes he couldn’t help it, especially when those around him encouraged him to do so.

While he has only ever had an attraction to girls, he can respect how dudes can find other dudes attractive, but it is never something he had considered. In fact, he has been far too interested in women to give men a thought.

Luke seems to always have a girlfriend, he isn’t a player but he certainly doesn’t stay single for too long.

When he graduated Dalton, Luke had good grades, but he had no ambition or idea in what he wanted to do in life. He wasn’t ready for school to end or to have to grow up. He enrolled into a course at Ohio State that his parents wanted him to do. It seemed ideal, he would only have to show up for classes and then he could do whatever he wanted, which mainly meant partying and baseball.

He couldn’t move out and go somewhere else in the world, Lima is where all of his friends and family are.  

He is currently studying Sociology as per his parents requests however, he has fallen behind on his grades and is seeking a personal tutor to help him catch up. He hates the idea of letting his parents down, especially when they’re funding him to go to college in the first place.

CONNECTIONS

MR & MRS STERLING: Luke loves his parents and gets along with them both the best he can. However, he does find them both to be quite pushy and at times a little demeaning towards him. There isn’t anything he wouldn’t do for them, which is why he’s at Ohio State. He does often resent them for travelling a lot.   JEFF STERLING: His older brother and definitely someone he wishes he was closer too. While the two grew up together and have many memories together, he see’s his brother as a big support system. BEST FRIEND: This person is Luke’s best friend. They’ve been together through thick and thin and have known each other a long time. While Luke went to Dalton and his friend went elsewhere, Luke never lost contact. He often worries that sometimes his friend might drop him for friends at his own school. After graduating, Luke is still very keen to stay in this person’s life. EX-FRIEND: This person was someone Luke used to be so close to, but due to a party one night, the two stopped talking. There was an incident that forced the two apart and soon, the two turned on each other. Luke still see’s this person around Lima and tries to stay distant. He shares no interest in trying to reconnect, even though deep down, he wishes they would. THE BAD INFLUENCE: This is the person who is responsible for Luke skipping class, drinking way more than he should and doing things that make him feel nothing but shame and regret. They are also the person who was responsible for Luke and his Ex-Friend splitting up, even though Luke doesn’t realise this.