#hes so soft nowadays im obsessed

[awkwardbakugou]

im sobbing he's so beautiful!! 😭🫶

[httpiastri]

favorites – pa17

genre: fluff, suggestive

pairing: paul aron x reader

warnings: mentions of 18+ stuff but it's pretty lowkey

word count: 1k

author's note: sleepy paul <33 forever in my heart <3<3 aaaaa this started out as me just praising paul's eyes and then his entire face and just.... yea idk im kinda obsessed. hope you enjoy and that this maybe can cheer you up from these last few races :)

3k celly l f2/f3 masterlist

paul aron is a pretty sleeper.

well, he is pretty at all times. after a race, cheeks flushed and hair messier than ever; curled up on the sofa with five blankets wrapped around him, the flu making his eyes all droopy; and maybe especially when he's standing on the top step of a podium, cap perched on his head and giant smile adorning his lips.

but even when he's asleep, lips slightly parted and nose scrunching up every once in a while, paul looks like god's most stunning creation. he's not just pretty, he's beautiful, with the type of boyish charm that can make any girl swoon.

back in the day, he adored the attention. nowadays, he only needs you to swoon, thankfully.

his light blonde curls are still tousled from the number of times your hands went through them last night, the feeling of his soft strands still lingering on your fingers. his face is so peaceful, a stark contrast to how concentrated it was a mere few hours ago when you were writhing beneath him as he whispered sweet praises into your ear.

the memory of yesterday makes a shiver shoot through your spine. it's your favorite way of getting ready to sleep; there's no better way to tire out than to spend some time with your needy boyfriend who's just come back from a triple header.

however, this is paul's favorite way of waking up.

the first thing he wants in the morning isn't coffee or a good bagel. it's to feel your legs tangled with his, your skin rubbing against his, your fingers intertwined with his. he doesn't really enjoy the sun shining in through the creak in your blinds, though.

"turn off the damn sun..."

the words lure out a sweet laugh from you, eyes fluttering closed for a moment as you relax further into your pillow. "can't really do that," you tell him with a shrug. "sorry, love."

paul groans – at you or the sun, you aren't sure, but the grumble that vibrates in his chest sounds a little like a frustrated whine, and you have to hold back another giggle. despite his sweet looks, he's a grumpy little thing in the morning; a fact you know better than anyone else. "not fair," he huffs. his accent is always a little stronger, a little thicker when he's just woken up, paired with the very melodious and dramatic tone he often uses which always manages to bring out a smile on your lips. "'m really tired..."

you hum in response. it wasn't too long ago that you both finally fell asleep, after all. when he lets out a sigh and finally opens his eyes, your heart skips a beat. or two. or five.

paul's eyes are your favorite things in the world.

they always have been. since the moment they first met yours, you haven't been able to look away. it's not just a common blue – one day, they've stolen the deep color of the ocean, and the next, they've mimicked the light blue sky of a sweet summer day.

they're especially hard to tear your gaze from since they remind you of so many things you love. the waves by the sea you used to visit when you were younger; the dark rain clouds covering the sky during a cozy storm; blueberry-flavored candy, blue raspberry sour patch kids, bubblegum cotton candy. sometimes even a purple nebula, giving birth to butterflies in your stomach instead of stars in space.

even half-lidded like this, sleep still clear in his gaze, his eyes are enough to send goosebumps all across your skin. the effect he has on you is just not fair.

"how are you even already so awake?" he questions, his tone complaining as if there's a personal vendetta against you not being as sleep-deprived as him. you shake your head, letting go of his hand to instead let yours graze his cheek.

"i've been awake for a while now," you say, watching as he pushes his head against your hand like a cat seeking physical attention, letting out a soft hum when your hand slips past his jaw and lands on the back of his neck.

"doing what?" he raises an eyebrow, albeit clumsily as he's still too tired to control his face properly.

his arm drapes over your waist, his large hand finding the small of your back before lazily tracing up and down your spine. "watching you."

"i can't tell if that's kinky or only creepy."

you scoff, tone growing defensive. "how would that be kinky?"

"i never know with you." paul gently pulls you closer so that you're flush against his chest, making it easier for him to bury his face into the crook of your neck. he inhales slowly, drinking in your scent, before letting out a sigh, his exhale tickling the bare skin of your collarbone. "you still smell of me, you know."

"wouldn't be surprised if the whole room smells of us..." his lips begin a journey upwards, trailing kisses all the way from the sensitive skin between your shoulder and collarbone to the underside of your jaw, before stopping to nibble on your earlobe. his callused palm caresses the skin of your naked back, before sliding down to your ass, squeezing it gently.

your eyes close again, body basking in the feeling of his lips and hands working in perfect synchronization. despite how awake you said you were, it's far too early for wherever this is headed. you call out his name once, then twice, but the sole difference is that his hand moves down to trail along your thighs.

the only thing you can think of is tilting your head down to meet his lips, your toes curling at the passion with which he's kissing you so even early in the morning. his tongue is already begging for access to your mouth, fingertips grazing the inside of your thighs and leaving you squirming under his touch.

it's all so perfect, exactly like it always is; with him pressed up so close not even a single atom could fit between you, with you finding no reason not to give in.

hips pressed against hips, chests against chests, mouths against mouths. your favorite place, your favorite feeling,

your favorite person.

[linaselandbasil]

The Bottom Of A Bottomless Mimosa-Valkyon/Ykhar

It's been a while since I started writing and I'm happy to announce, it is here, it is finished, you can read it!

It gets a little bit weird, but I think it's okay. There's weirder. After I was done editing, it ended up being 5800 something words, so it's long. I intended it to be long as hell, because come on, it's Valkyon!

The full work is below the cut if you don't like clicking on links.

Have fun reading~

Ykhar was a wee bit tipsy. She stumbled after Valkyon, who seemed to always be strutting like he's on the catwalk. She was a little confused when they didn't go towards HQ, but she quickly realized what Valkyon meant by 'his place'.

Kassvin's house.

This made her feel so dirty. Like a homewrecker.... She... likes it, actually! She rarely does adventurous things like this nowadays, but she certainly wouldn't mind. She wouldn't mind being.... Like Valkyon.

She's so obsessed with him.

The door opened with a deafening creak and they stepped into the dark foyer.

"Does Kassvin mind?"

"He doesn't. But don't tell him we did it in his bed." He stripped his cloak off and looked at her. "Take your shoes off, he doesn't like it when we track dirt in."

She took the red shawl off and put it on the hanger. Valkyon was a watching her like a hawk. His smoky eyeshadow was a tiny bit smudged from their earlier kisses.

She could feel her legs getting weaker already...

She bunched her dress up as they went upstairs, the hem was long enough that she could trip on it and going to the infirmary would be an embarrassing end to their one night stand.

The bed wasn't made.... the blankets that Kassvin slept in just this morning were strewn about. Valkyon you whoooore! YOu WHorE!

Ykhar unbuttoned her bodice and threw it to the side. The dress was now lose around her frame and Valkyon pulled it over her head in one go. She had a shift on underneath, slightly tinted blue from a disastrous blueing incident.

Valkyon was quick to push her on the mattress. He let her watch as he took his crop top off... He had a bunch of jewels on too because he's a crow. He likes shiny stuff.

"Hey... " He said. "Are you alright?"

"I'm alright. Are you?"

"Yeah... do I look not alright?"

"You look tense."

"You look straight up scared."

"Im a little scared. I kind of have a huge crush on you." He laughed and undid his belt. "And this is your boyfriends house."

He smirked. "What about it?"

She blushed. "Nothing..."

"It doesn't seem like it's nothing. Enjoyin' it I hope?"

"Very much." She watched him undress. He took his jewels off one by one and put them on a chair that Kassvin endearingly dubbed 'the nightsit'......

Damn it, that's so funny.

Valkyon used to think Ykhar was the most adorable thing ever to exist. He tends to find people like her attractive and she tends to find people like him attractive so it's obvious that they ended up together.

He held her chin up and kissed her, slowly and tenderly. He's tipsy, and when he's tipsy he gets all soft.... Or is he always soft? Probably. He could go a little more rough though.

"I'm not made of sugar."

"Why so sweet, then?" She chuckled and pulled his other hand closer, into her hair. She's acting all coquetteish.

"You know what I like." He smiled.

"Mhm." He sat down on the mattress and she crawled right into his lap. Valkyon's lips quickly found hers and he kissed her until her skin was flushed red. His hand held the back of her head, fingers buried in her hair. The smooth bastard slid his hands right under her shift, caressing her thigh.

She reached down, palm sliding across his strong abdomen and coming to a halt at the hem of his underwear. He pulled her back by her hair and looked at her.

"Really? So impatient." She giggled as he took her hand and kissed it. "We got all night."

"Soo-reee!" She said, snaking her arms around his neck and scooting closer. She rode one of his thighs, grinding down just right. "Mmh~"

He wrapped her up in his arms, smelling her neck. Cigarette smoke and floral perfume. The usual after being in a bar all night.

Oh? Wouldn't you believe, she also smells like Lance. That slut, he's almost as bad as Valkyon.

He kissed her until she was dizzy then let his hands explore. They traveled far and wide, to her back, her stomach, her breasts and her neck, then they mysteriously found their way right back under her shift. The way his warm, calloused palm traced it's way up and down sent shivers and goosebumps all over her body.

The warm buzz of his charm made her want to just lay down and let him have anything of hers. She pulled her shift off, even as the cold pricked icy needles into her skin. It's worth it, his skin will warm her through in no time.

Her strawberry lip gloss was all gone with the wind by now. She moaned and whined as he inched his hand down between her legs. He was slow but oh so precise. He remembers exactly how she likes it. She wrapped her legs around his waist to give a better vantage to his hand. He's very welcome in there.

After all, he knows exactly how she wants it.

Feathery caresses at first, and ummm.... You know. Bed breaking later.

She couldn't keep her hands to herself, she just had to try again. She reached down once again and this time he let her get into his underwear without a word.

Her fingers raked through the silver hair, looking for his massive choking hazard of a monster cock. She found it, wrapped her tiny hand around it and enjoyed the barely audible grunt that came from the amber eyed beauty.

He stroked her through the light fabric of her panties before reaching underneath and dipping one just barely into the warmth of her. She gasped, which made Valkyon want to mess with her. He needed to hear that again.

"Nghh~" He pulled his hand away, grabbed her thighs and turned her around. A little bit forceful, but Ykhar quite literally wants to be beaten up in bed like a pro wrestler, so it's quite alright. It's always the girls with short nails who's the freaks.

She sat astride his thigh once again, leaning into his chest and enjoying the embrace.

"See that mirror over there?" He asked, whispering in her twitching ear. He kissed her scalp just behind it, giving her goosebumps all over her pale body.

"Yes."

"Look how beautiful you are. You could have anyone, yet you only want me. Get over me." She burst out laughing because that sounds quite silly while hes preparing to fuck her into tge sunrise. She quieted down when he started rocking her back and forth. The friction was just perfect, and it didn't fail to remind her that she should be trying to stay in his good graces.

"Yet here we are."

"You're not special to me anymore, but you could be to someone." Ouch.

"Vaaaal! That's mean!" He chuckled, sliding a hand down to rest on her belly, inching downward at a torturous pace. She felt her cheeks burn. Her heart ran wild like a frightened deer.

"You know what's mean? You also smell like Lansegra." He pressed his nose into her hair, breathing in. "You're still fucking my brother."

She was honestly speechless, but Valkyon didn't seem too turned off by that, so she wasn't going to deny anything. It was absolutely turning her on though. "I'm sorry." She managed with a trembling voice.

"I know you aren't.... But you can make up for it if you're pretending to be sorry." He then reached into her panties and resumed working her open. She could feel his hard dick poking her thigh as she helplessly dangled her leg off of the side of the bed. She was holding onto his hair, reaching behind herself as she was fingered exactly the way she liked.

Her panties were soaked, she was moaning loudly. He hooked his free arm under her knee and hoisted her up to have a better look at her in their reflection. "Look at you." His tone was teasing, a bit playful. "A bigger whore than I am."

"I'm sorry! Please!"

"For what?" He kissed her neck. "For fucking my brother again? You do whatever you want, i don't care anymore."

"Im- I-"

"Or for getting railed by me on my boyfriends bed? Is that what you're sorry for? He'll live." He kept kissing her neck and shoulders, smirking devilishly every time their eyes met in the mirror.

"Mmh! Faster!" Oh how it pleased him to hear that. He obliged, letting her squirm in his arms until she came. He felt her squeeze his two fingers while he kept fingering her through the best 8 seconds of her day. Best 8 seconds so far.

He chuckled, looking at her face in the mirror. He lifted his finger to her mouth and stuck it in. "Clean it." She sucked, putting her tounge between the two fingers and getting her mess off with maximum efficiency. Again, she's a freak. She has had plenty of practice, her methods are next level.

"You've got the nerve to walk around in his shawl? What if someone realized it was his?" Valkyon finally spoke, forcing her to face the mirror with his still wet hand.

"Your brothers shawl?"

"Obviously, dumbass." He smiled as he said that. She's into degradation, don't worry.

"It was so cold! I'm sorry!"

"Hmm. Don't worry about it. Now that you know how stupid it was, you won't repeat it." He ruffled her hair before taking a fistful and pulling on it lightly.

"Hmm~" She gave him a long look. "More."

"Dont worry, I wasn't gonna stop now." She chuckled. She stood up and pushed him on his back. She hastily shimmied out of her panties, which Valkyon just noticed they had little heart shaped carrots on them! So fucking cute. He scooted backwards and got comfortable looking at her naked form in the dim light of the moon. "You're excited, it seems."

"You're like if crack cocain was a person." She climbed on top of him, knees on either side of his hips. She looked down at him. "I need more, I'm begging you!"

He smiled. "Tell me, what do you want?" He had his hands under his head to prop it up.

"Mmmmmm." Her grey eyes traveled from his glowing amber ones, all across his scarred neck and abdomen and finally down to his- "Dick."

His brash grin never faltered as he snapped his fingers to ignite the lantern by the bed. "This lighting suits you."

She was hungrily starting at his member, barely hearing him over her aggressively vivid imagination. She wanted to cry from pleasure, to be filled to the brim with him. She wanted to choke on all he had... Just like in the good old days. "Do you still know that ward spell?"

He scoffed. "Yes, I'm still using it pretty often." You see, a condom is basically a penis shaped ward. Valkyon saves fortunes by using a modified combat shield spell instead of buying overpriced boxes if them bitches just to not spread herpes like a witcher.

He did his thing, conjuring the thinnest ward imaginable and putting it on his little guy. Little is a relative term.

She gasped. "Aaaw, he's going to battle in his little armor! Cute!" He was normally a patient man, but he's getting to the end of his rope.

"Ykhar."

"Yes??" She looked like a deer in headlights. "Oh I'm so sorry!"

He laughed at her as she somewhat clumsily lined the soldier up and sent it to the trenches in one go. She moaned and took his hand in hers. He reached up and firmly gripped her thighs to keep her from falling. She had other ideas and took his hands and placed them on her breasts.

"Val... I feel guilty." She shifted side to side, enjoying the initial stretch, feeling every last bit of it all up in her. The feeling was so strange, like nothing else. Like something cold in her veins raced back and forth through her guts, like a lightning bolt of goodness bloomed in her.

"For fucking my brother?"

"For doing this to Kass." He smirked and thrust his hip up. Her surprised yelp mixed with a whine of pleasure.

"You like it." He pinched.

"I do." She slowly went up, enjoying the way it slid out of her. She's so damn wet. This man is a coochie wizard.

He went to grab her hips and pull her back down. He groaned, feeling so relieved that he's finally getting some attention. She was enjoying it as much as him, judging by how fast she was trying to go. She bounced up and down with his hands keeping her from falling.

But lets not forget that she's not in peak physical prowess.

"Vaalll! My legs are sore!" He wasted no time flipping over and pinning her to the soft mattress. She giggled, admiring him from below as he realigned himself and thrust in. "Ah! Go hard~" He scoffed, then he threw her legs up on one of his shoulders and fucked her so hard the bed started moving with them.

Good thing Kassvin has no neighbors.

Ykhar gripped the sheets, knuckles white. Her moans were almost screams, each of them making her throat hurt a little.

He kept going, relentless, merciless and so fast. Just like she wanted. Her eyes began to water from all her emotions. She was feeling a lot and she was feeling them strong. He leaned his weight on his legs and slowed down.

"Yo-

"Keep GOING!" She yelled, and Valkyon did exactly that. He resumed his rough pace, ramming into her and fucking her through her tears.

"You worry me."

"Shut up! Keep doing this, I need this!"

"Alright sweetheart." He emptied his mind, robotically railing her into oblivion. He's so turned on, but he has to wait. He has to be patient. The guest goes first. He thought about Kassvin. He fucked the little human just like this, only.... Kassvin didn't want to be destroyed quite this much.

He came apart like a braid without a tie, the warrior had touched every inch of him and found all the buttons he could press to turn his little prince into a mess.

The best part was probably the story he told Valkyon about how he found out that he didn't have a gag reflex. That was his favorite part because the little blavian followed it up with a demonstration.

Hmm, he should make Ykhar do that too. She's magnitudes better at it than anyone he's ever laid with.

"Val! Ah!" He looked down and found her face beautifully red, her teary eyes fixed on him. "I'm! I'm-" Cumming. She squeezed her eyes shut, falling silent as a very happy teardrop rolled down her temple. He kept going at the exact same pace to let her enjoy it to the fullest. Another amazing 8 seconds. "Valkyon. Thank you." Her chest rose with her labored breaths. She went limp underneath him.

"You can show me how thankful you are, just rest a bit." He has a beautiful rough voice to match his beautiful rough everything. Ykhar felt the sound of him rumble through her neck as he spoke. She whined as he pulled out, missing it already.

"Give me a minute...." She sat up. "I'm dizzy."

"I would offer you some water, but I can't climb the stairs with this thing, it would hit the steps and that hurts." She giggled so hard she almost rolled down the side of the bed.

"I can certainly help you with that, good sire~" She scooted over and brushed her hair out of her face. She opened wide and swallowed the thing whole like it was a magic trick in a circus. The warmth of her body embraced him once again, and he almost thrust up into her throat. She must have noticed because she looked up through her still wet eyelashes and puffy eyes and pulled off of him.

"Get to work." She blushed, a tinge of arousal coursing through her.

"I'm sorry." She certainly loves apologizing. It's probably the mommy issues, Lance has something like this as well. Her mouth opened and she took him in again, slowly this time. She relished in the taste of herself and the slightly metallic zap of magic coming from the ward. It stuck so close to the skin that it wrapped around the foreskin as if it wasn't even there. Her tounge lapped at the veins on the underside, still looking him in the eye.

He moaned and laid back, head hitting one of Kassvins seven pillows. "You're still good at this." He muttered, looking down. He caught a glimpse of her tiny tail wagging from happiness. Adorable...

He reached down and grabbed her ears in his fists and guided her by them. She whimpered from the pain she loved so much, letting him use her like a toy until he came a few seconds later.

The ward. Seemed to give out at the exact moment, letting him spill on her lips.

"What a coincidence!" Valkyon said, smirking with self satisfaction.

"Indeed...."

"Good girls swallow."

"Do I look like a good girl?"

"You do look like one, but your a liar and a whore." The nice little tingles of desire returned as shame seeped into her. She opened up and licked the cum off her lips. "Wasn't so difficult, was it?" He pet her head, scratching behind her ears.

She tried to smile, but her emotions were so conflicted. Valkyon sighed and pat the space next to himself. She crawled into his arms and relaxed her body. So sore, so tired... Thirsty.

"That was really good, thank you." She said.

"Are we done? That was only one round."

She laughed. "Do you ever get tired??"

"Occasionally."

"By the gods... Can you get that water now? I'm dying of thirst.." She rolled away, flinging a cream colored thigh over a bunched up blanket.

He sighed. "Sure." He went to the kitchen, naked as the day he was born. He stood above the sink for a short while, letting the reality of his ex in his bed sink in. The reality of his ex, who fucked his brother and is continually fucking his brother while his brother was supposedly dead for three fucking years.

'Whatever.' He thought. 'It could be worse. Like if she was fucking my actually dead brother. Now that would be really bad.'

By the time he came back, Ykhar was on her feet admiring herself in the mirror. She was poking at a light bruise on her hip, he didn't notice he left that. She turned around to look at him when he entered, tail wagging and ears perked up.

"Aren't you cold?" He asked.

"A little bit." She went for the water, chugging the whole thing in one go.

"Cheers..." When she finished, he put a hand on her shoulder and pushed her down. Her knees hit the parquet, she dropped the metal cup, letting it roll away on the creaky floor. "You know, Kassvin hates to sleep with this mirror turned to the bed like this. He feels he's being watched."

She was grinning like a fool, tail wagging at maximum speed. He pushed her bottom lip with his thumb. Put the ward up, taking his sweet time. She was on the edge of her seat and he wanted to push her patience as far as it would go.

She let him push his finger past her bitten, red lips, opening up obediently.

"Go ahead, put on a show for his ghosts. Let 'em see." She reached up and delicately held his calloused hand, she sucked on each finger, still tasting herself. She moaned. "Kassvin would never do that."

He let her work until he felt her saliva get thick and stringy around his digits. She gagged as he pressed down on her soft tounge and dragged all the way out. He smeared the mess on his already hardening length and got out of her way so she could work.

And work she did, looking at her reflection and feeling the burning shame of an imaginary crowd of ghosts gawking at her. Naked, defiled... Mostly dirty, literally and figuratively.

Valkyons quiet grunts and soft moans kept her grounded in reality. She felt him grab her ears, he just wanted to feel their velvety texture. They're nice.

She looked up as she bobbed up and down, jaw wide open, face dripping with drool and eyes filled with tears.

"Look at yourself. Beautiful." He purred down, eyes glinting in the dark like a wolf. His face is mostly obscured by shadow, she feels like she's in the spotlight, the moonlight seems to be focused completely on her. She looked at herself again. 'Kassvin would never do that.'

She's so incredibly jealous... But she likes him, and she's really turned on by getting fucked in his bed by his man.

Valkyon grabbed some of her hair with her ears and yanked her off. He was rough with her, just like she wanted it, but he still looked at her if she was okay or not. She smiledt him, ears twitching upward in his fists, wanting to point upward. She's alright. "Bed?"

"Bed." Kassvins bed.

She hopped on, wiping her face with the back of her hand. Valkyon pushed her all the way to the headboard and pulled her ass up in the air. She didn't protest, instead she grabbed a pillow to hug and lowered her shoulders to the mattress.

She heard the faint sound of the ward spell being cast again and felt relieved, because she completely forgot that she could get pregnant. She wondered how long it lasted... Valkyon didn't seem like the best sorcerer, but lasting a while seemed like his forté.

The pillow smells like Kassvin... Oh the shame... It was awesome.

Valkyon ran a finger over her folds and was happy to find her still wet. He pressed in, making her moan. "Put it in already!" He scoffed, but he obeyed, the lady gets what she wants.

He set a slower pace this time, but he still slammed in hard. Her whole body rocked back and forth, she pressed her ass backwards into his hips with the last shred of clarity and strength left in her. Her back arched and she breathed in heavy, smelling the humans sweat on the pillow.

"Valkyon... Are you thinking about him?"

"Right now I'm thinking about breakfast, he makes... he makes good breakfast." His mind s a bit clouded right now. Wonder why. "Why, are you jealous?"

"Hmmmh!!!" He thrust into her extra hard. "A little bit~"

Hes a"You gettin' off on being fucked in his bed? In his house? Enjoy it. I bet you loved to fuck my brother in the same bed you fucked me." He had a firm hold on her hips, fingers pressing right on her already darkening bruises, adding a small whisper of pain to the generous pleasure. She found that she was throbbing for another touch and reached down to sate her desire.

"I bet he's not this good in bed."

"And I bet you're terrible in the kitchen."

"Gah! Whatever!"

He laughed, speeding up a little bit. She also went a little faster, and made louder and louder noises.

She grabbed the bars of the bedpost for stability as she came. Good job Valkyon!

She gasped for air, like she just ran a marathon. She felt him get more erratic before also cumming. This time the ward spell was somehow effective at holding itself together.

It did break a few seconds later however, so now the duvet is pregnant. Good job Valkyon.....

Ykhar turned over and beckoned the warrior into an embrace. He begrudgingly admitted to himself that he wanted a hug and let her breasts cushion his tired face.

Man, I love boobs.... Valkyon feels indifferent to boobs as a dragon, but they're undeniably a lot of fun. Like, who in mother nature's design team came up with built in stress balls with baby food in them. That's so dumb, and yet it works!

After a short while, the sweat dried on their skin and Ykhar really needed to pee, so they washed up and changed the dirty sheets before going to sleep. Ykhar on one side, Valkyon on the other, as far away as possible..... But they still woke up snuggled up with each other.

The morning came, as usual, way too soon for Valkyons liking. Neither of them had a hungover, since Ykhar had literally two drinks and Valkyon is like if Rasputin didn't stink.... as often. And was more fashionable.

He could chug rat poison and be okay.

They found a bite to eat while perched on the couch, blinds still closed for some reason. Valkyon prefers to live in houses that look like caves and he's been brooding about his dear Kassvin leaving, so he kept them closed.

Which was literally yesterday, might I remind you after 3000 words of nasty smex and fornication.

Ykhar had bedroom eyes again. She's a bottomless pit for cock.

"Do you want to go one last time?"

"Again?"

"Yes?"

"..... Sure, but you lead. It's too early to top."

Ykhar had taken the day off, because she thought she would be too hungover to work. This outcome is much more pleasant to her.

She pulled her shift off, feeling the nip in the air. Her hairs stood on end as she held his perfect face in her hands. He was really groggy looking, but undeniably horny as well. The heavens made them just for each other, it's a shame they fell apart.

"You're so pretty." Kassvin says that too. Especially when he's in his dragon form. Makes him feel truly seen.

She kissed him, tasted like buttered toast and black tea. Slow and lazy touches crept across their bodies. They tenderly held each other and went from vertical to horizontal really quickly.

Ykhar pushed his head down and he dutifully went down on her with a small smirk. He's in his element.

"You wipe that off your face you horndog!"

He laughed, kissing her thigh. She propped her leg up on the coffee table, opening up like a heavy tome with a cracked spine. He didn't say anything, he simply began by licking her opening from bottom to top, which made her whine.

"You sound like him." He said. "He reminded me of you, he's just as bad at flirting as you." He licked again. Her small hands reached down and tangled in his silver hair. His badly washed off black eyeshadow still clung on, it's a good look on him.

"And you remind me of Lance."

"It's almost like we're related." They laughed softly, still half asleep. He placed his lips back on her and began licking her without a break. She mewled and sank into the couch, limbs getting weak and her blood fizzing into her groin. She pulled his hair, tightly gripping it. He grunted, relishing in the sharp sensation. She pushed him into herself, yearning for more.

Her moans filled the small room, barely leaving any space for his own sounds of pleasure. She pulled him up by his hair and climbed into his lap again. Her mouth met his in a passiobate, breathtaking kiss. His hands went to embrace her, while hers went down to continue where he left off between her thighs.

"You're so selfless, Valkyon."

"I am. You should try it too." He jabbed at her immediately as he saw the opportunity for it. "I made you really happy last night, now it's your turn."

She shoved his shoulders back, a little offended, but being a good sport about it. "Two years of dating and you dare say I don't serve you? Valkyon, that is so mean of you!" She lightly scratched his sides with her short nails, leaving red marks. She barely grazed his leaking member with her palms before leaving him completely without touch. She kicked the coffee table away and took a step back. "You keep your hands to yourself then, if you're so tired of working!"

He rolled his eyes and put his hands behind his back, manspreading proudly to feast her eyes. I certainly hope you're as blessed with imagination as I am, because he's a beauty. "As you wish."

"Thank you." She climbed back into his lap, immediately going for a kiss. His face was cupped by the woman's palms, they were soft, they hadn't seen a day's worth of hard physical work in years.

She kissed him all over his face. He got smooches on his nose, his cheeks, his forehead and when she was done professing her annoyingly undying love, she moved on to kiss his neck. She bit down on his hot skin, drawing a soft 'nmh!' from him.

She found that her hands were drawn downward and wrapped around him. He made such sweet sounds under her hands and mouth that she couldn't help but bite him harder. He deserves the best.

She found his knifeplay scar and began sucking on it, making him moan. She slowly pushed the foreskin down and circled around the head with her thumb, enjoying his burning need for her. He wouldn't move, he's not going to back down. He's not a little bitch, he can do this!

As she found another spot on his neck to mark, she began stroking with one hand, nice and slow. She could feel herself fill to the brim with lust as his muscles tensed and shifted, he was trying to stay still and he was struggling.

She sped up, enjoying how he lost himself in the experience. He was more than willing to let her do everything, knowing that she also knew exactly how he wanted it.

Dark bruises littered his neck, he panted and gasped as those tiny hands of hers pumped him towards completion. She scratched his side, clawing red marks into his tan skin and then she stopped. She stopped everything.

"For fucks sake!" He said a wee bit too loud. She chuckled and sat down on the couch, spreading her legs to temp him. His gaze found itself fixed to her pink lips, I'll let you decide which lips for yourself. She beckoned with the flick of a finger. He went hands first, caressing her hips before pulling her toward him suddenly.

"Ah! Bastard!" Now, that, he didn't like. Because he's actually bastard. Didn't let it get him down though.

"You're also a bastard." He leaned down and kissed her while she greedily reached down to feel him again.

"So cast your spell before we become like our parents, smart-ass!" She said, forcefully turning his head to the side and finding a beautiful forever home for the newest hickey. "I certainly wouldn't be an awesome mother."

"Kassvin would kill me." Ykhar giggled for a few seconds before she felt herself be cradled in his arms tighter. She wrapped her limbs around him, kissed and bit his neck and moaned as he pushed in.

He moved nice and slow, it was way too early for bed breaking behavior. The floor still creaked underneath the couch, even if he was all slow and gentle this time. It's probably older than both of them combined.

Valkyon raked his fingers into her ginger hair and gently gripped her soft silky ears right at the base.

"Pull it, big boy." She said, heaving hard. Who is he to deny her? He pulled, not so hard as to cause damage, but enough to make her squeeze around his cock, whining.

She suddenly felt the urge to touch him. She needed to leave more marks... She hoped Kassvin would see them, as petty as she may seem. She marred his back like a hawk, almost drawing blood, he groaned and went faster.

"Go harder. I won't break."

"You should be happy I even got out of bed this early." She got even redder, not that he saw her face from this angle. He pulled her ears again, just to make her squirm a little.

"Please!" She clawed down his chest, where she could see her work. They were almost as red as the hickeys.

He had a smirk so smirky you'd want to slap the shit out of him right there, because you see, he would have been more than happy to go harder, he just wanted her to keep begging. The bastard! "Ask nicer."

"Pretty please?"

"..."

"I'll do anything, just please, please, please go harder! I need more!" He peeled her arms off of himself and straightened up to look her in the eyes.

"You'd already do anything." She groaned, covering her eyes. Her whole body rocked with the torturously slow rhythm.

"Please!"

"Promise me one thing and I'll wreck you, m'kay?" Her ears perked up at that.

"What is it??"

"You tell my brother to go to hell for still fucking you. That's a low blow." He smiled, imagining Lance's reaction. He's already regretting that he can't see it for himself.

"I will." She chuckled, opening her arms for him to return.

"It's not funny." He pulled out, flipped Ykhar over and railed her from behind hard enough to make her scream into the cushions. She likes it from behind. I know I would, I'm really socially awkward and I'd prefer my ruthless fucking without accidentally making eye contact.

He grabbed her hair and pulled it, she propped herself up on her elbows to avoid much of the pain. Valkyon then pulled even further, let her suffer if she likes it so much. Her screams were now unobstructed by anything and they could probably be heard from outside.

Valkyon recalled hearing Kassvin mutter to himself from across the whole house sometimes. He really wished he understood blavian...

Ykhar came, squeezing him even more than before. She was also saying things in her own native tounge, which Valkyon didn't understand any better that Kassvin's blavian. He thought about his dearest human, the pleading eyes he had looked at him with, as if Val wouldn't have given him anything in this wretched world, how he tried to make a joke to lighten his mood and lastly, how he moaned 'bruh' and how he felt so terribly embarrassed about it. Valkyon spent himself thinking about the human, because fuck you Ykhar, that's what you get.

They staid there, in Kassvin's house, not thinking about the day ahead of them. Valkyon never gave much thought to the stares he got after a night of whoring himself out. Somehow everyone always seemed to look at him a little differently, even if they had no way to know.

Until they had to step out that door, they didn't have to worry about any of that.

...

[sehodreamsthoughts]

yesss u get me<333

that link oop🫢🫢🤭🤭🤭 yeah i see that for him…(zhang hao) he’s something else in a positive way idk…

tbh i see matthew as a switch right and honestly more of a dom but.. idk idk he really can go either way for me.. but some idols (who i bias🤭🤭) who are definitely subby boys are bnd’s riwoo, lun8’s takuma, nowadays’ yeonwoo, and one pact’s yedam<3333 they’re all 03 liners though coincidentally just so u know, so like def legal but also def younger than some of the idols we’ve talked about but i think matthew is 02 so idk??? anyways i love them all sooo much<3333333 wanted to give them all an honourable mention idk??? OMG and cravity’s hyeongjun pls how could i forget him he reminds me of xiumin a bit n i just love him so much my pookie baby boy!!!!!!!

if u like men who scream daddy issues do u like jiwoong then too? i sound insane but he’s dilf material for sure!!! and wayv’s kun😶😶😶 (he reminds me so much of suho too and i think we both love suho, we’ve talked about that before,,,,, my literal father👀) im just name dropping idols now but also cravity’s serim is just.. u should take a look at that guy i want him BAD n all (h)ours is super new!! most of them are rly young but the leader is 03 n he gives the most Dad vibes n hes so hot plssss his name is kunho and i think you’d like the concept for their upcoming comeback it’s very dark.. idrk how to describe it though like cyberpunk maybe???

okay i’m gonna shut up about other groups now.. cuz i mainly came back here to talk more about sungchan who’s not a sweet tooth n gives u all the food he doesn’t finish.. i always come here to yap about this kink but can’t figure out how to articulate myself, it makes me so dizzy to even contemplate it but.. OKAY WARNING this might be gross n is definitely weird but i think sungchan would be obsessed with the contrast between you two if you were chubbier because he is so athletic and slender, and i think he’s a boob guy… wouldn’t be able to think straight if he could see even the outline of your breasts in your shirt, stretching the material, would go crazier if he could see your soft flesh pushing out the top, watching how it jiggles when you move and laugh and talk and eat<333333333 i think he’d like the control aspect of feeding you too because it’s like.. he can do whatever he wants to u, if he tells you to eat the rest of his snack or what he made you for dinner, you’re not supposed to say no to him, and he can see just how many times you’ve obeyed him when he sees how big you’re getting🥺🥺🥺 again with the damn pinching, and squeezing your ass or your boobs, slapping your butt whenever within arms reach of him!!! grabs your tummy to pull you closer to him or squeezes and pinches your sides just because you look so fucking soft and squishy and he just wants to manhandle you all the time because there’s just so much of you to touch now<3333 again sungchan who buys you revealing clothes and wants you to wear them because he loves seeing your skin exposed, and he tells you how pretty you look all for him<333 such an angel<33 but also sungchan who teases you when his shirt is tight on you, molding around your tummy and difficult to tug down over your thighs :(( so adorable he just has to fuck you right away, sinking into you and telling you don’t worry, he’ll just have to start buying larger shirts<333

putting myself in time out now<333

- 🥟 anon

Baby sorry for the late response I went to search for each of the boys you mentioned and got lost while watching edits 😭

Woah you really know a lot about boy groups, I didn't know any of the 03 boys you mentioned haha, the one I liked the most between them was Cravity Hyengjun, HE REMINDS ME OF XIUMIN TOO HE'S SOO CUTEEEE, I want to give him a fat smooch.

About Jiwoong, I don't know him that much 😭, when I see edits of zb1 not many of him have appeared but I'll pay him more attention to see what I think, I like that he's older than me tho, AND KUN, I LOVE KUN AHSHDSHQHSJDHEHAJSJW HE'S SO DADDY. I feel he'd scold me so good, I'm sure he'd put me in my place in a second and that's something I find so fucking attractive (yo these daddy issues are raging). Oh, and because you mentioned him, I just saw a video of that Serim guy in which he was scolding his members and I'll be honest, I didn't find him attractive at all until i saw all those boys scared... IT WAS SO HOT 🥵🥵🥵 I'll definitely search for their comeback they look like nice guys and after discovering Ateez I'm in a soft spot with boy groups again (yeah I'm in process of becoming an atiny because I've fallen in love with these guys which is really unusual of me since I mostly only follow sm groups 😭)

Goddd Sungchan Sungchan Sungchan

You know what I see too? He obliging you to not wear a bra around him... I have no idea why since I don't really see him like a boob guy, but I feel he'd love, like you mentioned, watching your boobs against the clothes??? I feel he'd love how your natural form without support looks with shirts on, not hiding anything and making obvious when you need him since your nipples get hard 😭, I feel he'd also feed you more because he wants to see that place and your tummy getting bigger and being more difficult to hide with the clothes, simply the outline of your body would drive him crazy 😭😭😭

There's even a particular moment I have in my head and it's with him staring at you finishing a snack he opened, seeing the crumbles falling over the top of your chest and waiting on you to finish so he can clean you and call you messy but he's usually the messy one making you suck him to then lift your shirts and spurt all his cum over your naked chest...

Also I don't know why this came to my mind but I see him being into chubby arms a lot too??? I feel he'd have this idea of boobs softness=plushy arms and he'd squeeze them all the time before you were finally his girlfriend, and you'd have him around you all the time grabbing your arms, walking and holding your shoulder to then trail down, and he wouldn't be able to contain himself pressing his fingers and imagining he's touching your chest 😭 idk maybe I'm just crazy 😂🤪

[tatakaebomb]

Hi Ren, could I please request a Chifuyu x reader x Kaz where the reader is in a relationship with Chifuyu and Kazutora; has obsession with the reader, he actually loathes and resent chifuyu for having the reader to himself. I’m also inclined to have the reader being stupid because it will be Smut in there somewhere. I don’t mind how dark it becomes because let’s face it. Kaz isn’t all there lol thank you so much! 😘💖

Heyo, i got a little carried away with this because i love Kazutora’s pretty , crazy ass LMAO

Thank you for the request love <3

- Ren

tw : rough sex, fingering, cheating ( im sorry chifuyu ily ), teasing, orgasm denial, dom! kazu, he’s obsessive, degrading, dub con but not really, reader is a bit of a dummy lol , i think thats all?

NSFW 18+

wc : 1.8k

It all started with the three of you being close friends.

You always had a soft spot for Chifuyu and Kazutora knew it from the way your eyes lit up when anyone would mention his name.

However it did come as a surprise when the two of you confessed to eachother and started dating, completely leaving poor Kazutora out of the equation.

He hated the fact you allowed him to drift away from you, not only that but also hated the fact you picked Chifuyu over him, knowing way too well he’s always been the one there for you, not Chifuyu.

When you’d cry over your sweet little boyfriend flirting with another girl right in front of you at a party, who would you come running to for comfort?

Kazutora. It was always him.

He once cherished his friendship with the two of you, loving the both of you as if you were his own family.

Well, it wasn’t quite like that for you though.

He saw you as much more than a friend, he always had ever since the three of you were younger, he had a very obvious crush on you.

But you always had a crush on his friend and were so painfully oblivious to how you were hurting ‘Tora.

When your lips would curl into a smile and a blush would form on that pretty face of yours every time you spoke of Chifuyu.

He hated it, hated the fact Chifuyu had you all for himself and that drove you away from him, nowadays you don’t even talk anymore unless its about your relationship issues.

Every time you’d rant to him, he grew to hate your boyfriend more and more because of the way he treated you, you deserved so much better.

In fact, you deserved someone who would treat you right, like he knew he would if you’d let him.

He wanted you to himself more than anything, he couldn’t stand seeing you with Chifuyu and he realised that when he saw you two mindlessly holding hands while walking through town.

Something about the sight made his heart race with pure hatred and hurt, but what made it worse was the fact he knew no matter how much it hurt, he d always welcome you with open arms if you ever needed him.

Maybe it was selfish of him but he couldn’t help but smile when you texted asking to come over, he knew you had another fight with your boyfriend and secretly hoped maybe he could make a move.

That he could prove he would be a much better boyfriend than Chifuyu ever was.

-

And here you were, puffy red eyes staring into his golden ones while you went over all the details, cursing out the moment you fell in love with your boyfriend.

You looked so pretty like this, it felt weird for Kazutora but this version of you was always his favourite.

The one where you were raw and unfiltered, when vulgar language rolled off your tongue so smoothly despite your innocent appearance.

Something about it, it made him so -

“ ‘Tora, are you even listening to me ?” You snap your fingers in front of his face with an annoyed expression on your face.

“ Huh? Yeah no i was- i was listening “

Stuttering, he lifts his head which was leaning on his palm to look at you. You scoff, grabbing your phone off the table before sitting up and walking towards the door to his apartment.

He sits up immediately, grabbing your wrist gently and spinning you back around to face him.

You lift an eyebrow, watching him silently as he licks his lips and scans your features.

Your expression softens once you catch a glimpse of that dumb smile on his face, the one you’re convinced no girl could resist, your best friend sure was a looker.

“ What ? “ You smile at him, head slightly tilting in confusion.

He pulls you into a hug, arms reaching down your lower back as he tightens in.

You wrap your hands around him, sighing loudly as you catch a whiff of his familiar cologne, you couldn’t explain it but he always just felt like home to you.

“ I’m sorry, alright ? “ He mumbles, lifting a hand and running it through your hair.

Thats when you did it. The thing. The fucking thing that he swears you know drives him insane but you so innocently do it its like you don’t notice the blush that forms on his face every time.

You pull away from the hug, letting your hand run up his neck, fingers tracing his tattoo before you cupped his cheek.

“ It’s okay ‘Tora, i think i’m just gonna go home “

You slowly pull your hand away, only for him to pull it back onto his neck. Furrowing your eyebrows, you look at him confused. He gulps slightly, lips parting.

“ Do it again”

“ Huh? What ? This?”

You watch as his eyes shut slightly, his body shivering as you continue to trace your fingers over the side of his neck again.

Before you knew it, you were pressed firmly against the wall next to the door, eyes widening at the feelings of his lips crashing on yours.

You try pulling away, only to whimper once you feel his hands slip down to your ass, roughly grabbing it.

“ Kazu- wait-“ You protested between sloppy kisses, his body pressing further and further into yours as he begins kissing down your jaw.

“ I’ve waited too fucking long “

You squeal as he picks you up, your legs wrapping around his torso in order not to fall off as he begins walking to his room.

“ What are you doing ? Hey ! “ You scratch as his back making a chuckle leaves his lips as he lays you down on the bed. You look up at him for what feels like an eternity, your body unable to move as he silently stares down at you.

His gaze was nothing you’ve ever seen, you’ve known him for years but even so, this was different.

Usual bright golden eyes turning to a darker shade and dull, he knew what he wanted and by no means would he back down now.

Your hips involuntarily buck up against his hardened clothed cock, a low groan drawn for his lips as he grins at you.

“ What are you doing-“ He mocks you, and you pull his head closer to yours.

“ This is fucking wrong “ You whisper, lust filled eyes watching him as he smirks.

“ It feels right though, doesn’t it? “

Interlocking his fingers with yours, he starts kissing you again. Even rougher this time, his teeth biting at your bottom lip as his other hand travels down your body, lifting your skirt up so he can pull down at the band of your panties.

He snaps it back in place and you moan into the kiss, your other hand playing in his long hair as you begin to desperately grind your hips up, chasing some friction. He lets you grind up against the palm of your hand, smiling into the kiss knowing he finally got what he’s been dreaming of.

You being so needy for him, whining and moaning into his mouth. He couldn’t wait to fuck you dumb, but at first he’s gonna play with you just how you played with him.

“Mmph- Tora-“ You murmur as he parts his lips from yours.

“ Mhm ? “

“ Please- more- need more”

A harsh slap lands against your inner thigh and you bite your lower lip.

“ You’re such a greedy slut , you didn’t want me till’ now though, did you?”

He rips open the material, his long fingers grazing along your clit. Your bottom lip quivers, your legs slightly shaking under his body as you try to form sentences.

“‘M sorry- ahh - i-inside” You let out broken moans as he pinches your clit between his fingers, watching your arousal run down your thighs.

“ Use your words, Y/N ”

He slips the tip of his two fingers past your lips, and you breathe out as you try to compose yourself.

“‘Want you i-inside me, ‘T-Tora “

He chuckles, pushing his fingers fully in and curling them making you arch your back.

“ So desperate.. what a shame - ”

He starts moving them faster, loud moans drawn from your lips as he begins rubbing his thumb on your clit overstimulating you. Your watery eyes watch him observing the way your body moves under his touch.

“ What a shame you’re just a dumb whore”

You clench down on his fingers, his words steering you closer and closer to your orgasm.

All you could do is let out a cry, your stomach curling as you dig your nails into his back.

“ Awh, you gonna cum baby ? “

You desperately nod yes, and just as you were about to reach your high he takes his fingers out.

“ Thats too fucking bad ”

“ Tora..” You whine out loud, eyes tearing up as you stare up at his satisfied expression. When a tear drop rolled down your cheek as you were begging him to let you cum, thats when he couldn’t hold himself back back anymore.

You pant, widening your eyes watching him free his cock from his pants. The tip dripping precum down his long length as he presses it against your entrence.

“W-Wait- FUCK “ You grab onto the bedsheets and throw your head back as he pushes himself into you in one long stroke and he grunts at the way you stretch and tighten around him.

You chant his name moaning as he begins moving, his hand gently wrapping around your neck as he pushes you further into the bed.

“Finally - fuckin’ mine” He groans, watching your eyes roll back as he continues to drill into your cunt, your head becoming lighter as you feel yourself getting close again.

“ Tora, g’nna- “ You cry out, desperately grabbing his arm and digging your nails into it. He grits his teeth, going faster as he drops his hand from your neck to your clit, making your head go blank.

“ C-Cum for me baby ”

You arch your back, biting hard at your lower lip as your body begins to shake, your cunt tightening down on him and the sight of you coming undone soon sends him over the edge too.

He pushes a few more times into you, loud groans leaving his lips as he paints the inside of your walls with his cum.

He pulls out, tired body falling on top of yours. He hears the way your heart beats as he lays his head on your chest. You watch him as you both pant, your hand running through his blonde and black hair.

“ I can be better than him “ He mumbles into your chest, and you giggle shaking your head.

“ You are better than him, in every way “

And thats how he finally made you his - like you were always supposed to be from the very beginning.

[4dtk]

hi 🖤 you could write something like sugar daddy? not smut explicit, something like fluff and horny 🖤 pls ! with any nct / wayv member.

ok bestie im going to do this with my fav members (and also those who have sugar daddy feels). reader is in uni like usual! not proofread. let me know if i’ve missed any of the kinks. SO fucking long, enjoy.

also anon i couldn't resist doing nsfw stuff, part of the headcanons too, it's just brief looks into their sex life with reader!

warnings: sugar daddy!au, discussion of kinks like mutual masturbation, eating out/cunnilingus, dacryphilia, oral (f receiving), oral fixation, mirror sex, public sex, quickies, wax play, ice play, bondage, shibari, humiliation, praise, daddy kink, blowjob, deep-throating, double penetration (dp), (consensual) somnophilia, clothed sex, cuckholding, sensory deprivation, overstimulation, gagging, shower sex, phone sex, riding, doggy, spanking (also with a paddle)

members: johnny, doyoung, yuta, jaehyun, jaemin, kun

NSFW UNDER THE CUT, MINORS DNI

JOHNNY

lawd this man. i’d say that a sugar daddy/sugar baby relationship is lowkey really fun when he wants to be.

even if he’s older and may be out of the loop he still wants to know what the ‘younger’ kids are doing nowadays as if he’s like 30 years older.

he’s not he’s just being dramatic

generous with his money. always tells you it’s just a gift, or it’s reward for you behaving well but he just really likes giving you money.

buys you the craziest gift and shrugs when you ask about it

gets you the prettiest outfits

acts like a kid in public LOL its honestly endearing.

the poor man has so much stress on him from his job that he’s very at ease when you ask to go on a date

if you’re talkative, he’s one to be a bit more quiet in order to hear you vent or just talk about stuff (since he’s pretty talkative too)

but if you’re a little more introverted, he doesn’t mind leading the conversation. just wants to make sure you feel heard, whether you can talk for days or would rather not say a word at all

loves u the way you are :)

tries his best to help you with uni stuff. always distracting you with hands on your body tho, and also a bit confused by your major. he’s trying his best.

would unironically fuck you on a bed full of money, im not kidding

the bank is so suspicious as to why he’s drawing so much money from the atm all at one go but it’s really to just admire you naked on shades of green. the sheets smelled like copper after it was lowkey disgusting

the whole sugar daddy thing would feed into his daddy kink, likes it even in normal circumstances like asking him to buy something for you

“what’s the magic word, princess?”

“please?”

“nuh uh, baby.”

“can i have this, daddy?” you put on your best pout and it doesn’t take long for him to cave tbh

mix between being soft and rough with you in the bedroom. surprisingly, his voice is more levelled and calm when he’s punishing you for being a brat, and when he’s rough it’s more of a softer reason (something like he missed you on his work trip or he got a bit of a scare when you get hurt or stuff like that)

always gives you what you want tho, would tease you for a bit, but like i said he caves easily and just ends up allowing you to cum because he hates to see his baby all worked up

would like stuff like quickies before a meeting, under the table shit. loves your pussy, boosts his ego when you’re writhing under him bc of his tongue and his fingers

the bedroom would mostly involve him giving praise to your cunt lol he’s obsessed. face-sitting, etc. would fucking love mirror sex holy shit (esp when you’re at a event and he can’t control himself, both mirror kink and quickie kink go brrr), clothed sex in his office, lots of praise from him, turned on when you CRY bc he’s making you feel so good. cocky bastard

DOYOUNG

your sugar daddy? or your mom? this man will NOT stop worrying about you

“do you have enough money? need me to give you more? how bout that carnival you were planning to go with your friends? aren’t the tickets and rides super expensive?”

doyoung please calm down your baby has enough cash

really doting sugar daddy! wants your best interest in mind and is the one to set boundaries in the relationship

when you’re getting your allowance, if you need more money etc, he’s usually the one planning for dates as well as choosing the outfits for events he needs to attend

likes more to follow you where you want on dates. doesn’t care much for his own interests when he’s with you. like he’ll go into a store to find suits and stuff but most of the time he’s accompanying you into the shops you want to go to

heart fills with pride when you confidently explain that you’re doyoung’s plus one and lover at events, when you claim that you’re his.

would purposely go to uni so your friends can see you with him lol. pulling up in his sports car and stuff and lean against it outside of campus

you’re like flustered and keep asking why he’s here.

“i’m picking you up for our date.”

“but you aren’t supposed to come until later! i’m not even ready…”

“just wanted to see you, angel. i’ll wait here till you get ready.”

is one to buy you like expensive gifts that he’ll only see. a promise ring, a necklace with his initials, a clutch that you use for events. they’re always really expensive that you never fail to gasp when you take it out of the gift bag. he loves that reaction

gentler dom in private. honestly makes love to you as opposed to rough fucking. there’s times where he comes home stressed and wants to take it out on you. you are NOT against it and yes he does it but is so sweet with aftercare right after.

but most of the time he’s actually pretty gentle and will only transition into a rougher person if you ask for it.

like johnny, he really likes eating you out, but believes that he should get equal treatment. loves to see you taking his dick, in your mouth, up your pussy. when you’re struggling is when he goes crazy. because he’s not forceful most of the time, seeing you deep-throating him really gets him going bc what’s better than your partner wanting to subject themselves to discomfort just to please you?

oral fixation 100%. likes you when you’re sucking on stuff like mentioned above. bonus if there’s drool coming out the sides of your mouth

bc of this he’d love mutual masturbation. more disappointed than mad when you act up, ignores you when you’re asking for him and only shoots you a raised eyebrow. he’s so smitten with you that he has to turn away to hide the smile when you’re begging.

that said, he also likes it when you beg. and like johnny, he’ll give it to you bc he’s just… so in love with you lmao

YUTA

very different when he’s in public vs when he’s with you at home/in private

doesn’t look like it but he’s mushy when he’s with you, always hands on your hips, hands in your hair, legs in his lap

crazy about you

sleeps half naked all the time, so he can feel you closer to him

times with him are always suggestive tbh but yuta likes riling you up in general

it doesn’t always lead to sex, just general make-out sessions and squeezes on your ass etc

that being said, yuta’s genuinely pretty stoic in public, bc he’s got an “image” to keep up that only makes you roll ur eyes

you find it funny sometimes and you live to make him smile slightly when you do something cute on your outings.

makes you hold onto his arm when you have outings, kinda likes the sight tbh. sometimes would hold your hand in the pocket of his coat.

likes to take you out to eat. feels satisfied when you’re eating the things you like whether it’s fast food or dessert

surprisingly really easy to talk to i guess, experienced from his time around the world and learns a lot fo things. has a lot of experience with business in japan so he likes to teach you a bit of the language while drinking at a bar or something. also teaches you the customs in drinking or alcohol games that they do in japan.

likes kissing you in public just to make other people annoyed

also likes to tease you when you’re out

but if it’s the other way? tease him and you’ll get your punishment alright

the fastest way to shut you up is when he threatens to take his black card away

one to make you sit you in his meetings with a vibrator up your cunt. fucking filthy ass

turns up the setting when people are explaining stuff to him at the office. smiles when he sees you twitch and the business partner thinks it’s bc of him

yuta’s nice to at least get the quieter ones tho so don’t worry.

lowkey has a language kink, idk idk. teaches you the lewdest words in public and doesn’t tell you the meaning, asks you to moan it out in the bedroom and he nearly cums from it. he finally tells you what it means after and you whack him after, he only laughs

if u want to rile him up, just use those words and he’ll get insanely hard

sex with him is heavenly. ALSO the type to fuck you in his office/against the window of his office. yum

would have a bit of a kink for public sex, like in a dressing room of a high-end designer store. pays the staff there to keep their mouths shut if their manager asks why there’s underwear in the dressing room.

yuta asked you to walk out the store without underwear :( poor baby :( well too bad yuta doesn’t care

doms most of the time, but likes to see you work for it on his dick. more in private and he leans back and lets you do all the work until you’re begging for him to do the fucking

humiliation is a big yes, using a paddle to spank you is something he would wanna try too

wouldn’t mind some bondage (shibari omfg!!!!!), wax play, ice play, one of the more explorative ones when in the bedroom

JAEHYUN

observant when you want something. either you’re looking at something online or when you stop by a shop’s display case, he’s getting it for you by the next time you meet

very doting on you, always helping you with uni work, helping to solve your friend’s relationship problems LMAO he’s all up in your shit.

not hesitant with affection when he’s showing you off/trying to get someone jealous. ofc his ears will show but he takes pride in handling your ass in public lol

has no patience to deal with people who questions your relationships. would stuff a huge sum of money down their pants just for them to shut the fuck up

he loves you, you love him, what’s more is there to question?

this man keeps wanting to update his wardrobe its lowkey like “uggghh… another designer store???” and he just rolls his eyes at your groans.

it’s funny, but he makes it up to you instantly when he brings you to one of your favourite stores later

mix of doyoung and johnny, believes that there should be equal things in a relationship but at the same time he loves you too much that just HAS to buy you that dress you were whining about

events with him are pretty annoying bc he’s pretty particular about his outfits so your fits always have to match with his. in colour, in brand etc

you always look good by the end of it though so who’s really losing tbh. he has an eye for fashion

likes when you take him to food places he’s never heard of before. doesn’t exactly mind expensive restaurants but likes it when you take the lead in dates and you bring him to where you want to go

i think we established this thru the fandom but this man is obsessed with breeding/creampie-ing you. likes to see it seeping it out of you after he finishes. convinces himself he doesn’t intend to do it but always cums inside

wouldn’t mind toys (kinda like dp, where he’s in you while the toy’s up your ass). would use the toys together with his tongue/fingers to make you absolutely lose it too.

i feel like he would like cuckholding but isn’t one to last to the end LMAO he’s too jealous and competitive for that.

semi-public sex ftw. a hand in your underwear at dinner or fucking yourself back onto his cock under the table as he’s in a meeting, either online or in person

also like yuta, likes seeing you lose it on his dick as he lets you do all the work, only helping you when he finds you’re moving too slow or when you’re getting tired

oh my god also another one to fuck you with cash, just not with the actual cash, but more of the stuff that he buys you. expensive dress, dangling of your bracelet, whew

also SOMNOPHILIA!!! omg (consensual ofc). when you moan quietly in your sleep as he inserts his dick, the unconscious spreading of your legs drives him crazy

JAEMIN

another one who’s generous with his money. wires you cash whenever he wants to or feels like it

shows interest in the course/major you’re studying in and actually does some reading so he can help you with your assignments. kinda like jaehyun but less interested in your personal life

if you want him to know, you’ll tell him, if not he won’t purposely pry into it

a little closer to your age so he understands the stress if you decide to put up an attitude. he’s patient, usually you’ll come back to apologise or offer to go on a date to make it up to him. he coos and gives in immediately, letting you love him in your way that he forgets you were ever mean to him

as for dates, he wouldn’t mind to go anyway but loves taking you to some of his fav cafes. the people in those different cafes know him and he always tips generously, so they usually have a table reserved for the two of you

like johnny, he would let you talk if you’re extroverted, would take the lead if you rather not talk, but at the end of day wants you to be comfortable around him

sometimes doubts himself, idk, whether he’s too young or not giving you enough cash, but you’re always there to reassure him.

would go to uni WITH you just to relive his younger days lmfao. bc he’s younger and looks younger he’d turn heads with questions like “is he a new student… i’ve never seen him before” you just let out a sigh as he giggles

shows you off at events, but is a little possessive. always has an arm around you, or an eye on you.

doesn’t like when people look at you in a sexual light

like i said before in other posts, he’s a gentle dom when he wants to be, but will NOT hesitate to put you in your place if you act up

might take away his black card, reduce the amount of times he’ll take you out, cut down on your allowance whatever

even in the bedroom too, just fucking mean if you decide to be a brat. orgasm denial, the flip side too like overstimulation, gagging, rendering you speechless literally when he fucks your face or makes you cum for the nth time. hair pulling holy shit.

okay but although he isn’t always mean, there’s some days when he still wants to treat you as such, but is softer. letting you breathe in between orgasms, praises you for taking his cock for the nth time instead of just asking you to shut up.

fucks on everywhere but the bed too. on the counters, in the shower, against the wall/floor, carrying you

especially likes the shower. uses the shower head to see your body jerk in sensitivity and he relishes in that.

phone sex is a big thing too, esp when he’s on business trips. wants to hear you when you’re bouncing on a toy as he jerks off in the hotel suite

KUN

another parent-like sugar daddy, although he’s worried about your daily life and whether you’re good at school, with your family.

is another one to also show interest in your course/major. would try his best to help you with your major but his answers are really long-winded so you tune it out after like three sentences LOL

enjoys taking you on dates. they’re usually at night since he likes to work overtime too. poor man is addicted to his work and he’s always busy so he feels weird if he’s laying around doing nothing.

will only leave it alone when you coax him out of his comfy office chair

also one to keep upgrading his closet it’s so annoying. one look from kun though and you’re shutting up because you know what he’ll do. even if you do shut up, he’ll still bring it up later anyway.

unlike jaehyun, he would rather shop for suits so he can ‘keep up with the trends’

like jaehyun, will also put people in their place when they talk about your relationship.

they don’t know shit so he just asks for their number and wires money to them so they can keep quiet. baits them by saying that he’s giving money, but it’s very little. $15 tops. it’s so funny seeing them freak out and get pissed at kun for tricking them, just says “but i never said how much. now keep your fucking trap shut unless you want me to take away your money. i already have your details.” (i know it doesn’t work that way just act like it does.)

mean ass dom. he’s really sweet on the outside but in the bedroom he kinda switches. there’s his good days, but most of the time he’s rough and asking who’s his slut

(you. you are.)

there ARE days where he goes a little gentler. when you’re aching from doing schoolwork or stressed then that’s when he fucks to make you feel better. when you’re fine tho he has no problem breaking you down and making you call out his name like it’s a prayer

boundaries/comfort is VERY important in his book. before you got into the whole ‘mean dom’ dynamic he always asks you if you’re okay with it. if you’re together for a while, he would ask you less and be rougher, but make sure you’re okay after each orgasm.

sensory play/sensory deprivation. blindfolding you is one of his favs. likes it when you jerk in shock bc you don’t know if he’s there or not

pussy. slaps.

spanking!

enjoys cuckholding like its a GAME. calls you a whore for wanting his friends’ cocks and then snatches you back to finish inside of you.

of course this is all done with everyone’s consent, and if you feel uncomfortable you’ll either use the green-yellow-red system or your safe word.

oh my god, also blindfolding AND cuckholding. makes you guess who is he with such a calm voice it scares you. you aren’t sure if he’s even enjoying fucking you bc he speaks so smoothly without a hitch in his voice.

wrong answer and you’re dead LMAO good luck

extremely gentle with aftercare tho. doting on you like doyoung does, draws a bath, changes the sheets if he needs to, brings you a cup of water.

you question him, too, when he hardly reacts/feels almost stoic as he fucks you in a cuckholding situation with his friends that you’re worried he’s become bored with you. he’s so sweet to reassure you that he only does it for the dom role that he’s in, but he truly loves your cunt and how it hugs his cock so well.

not to say that he doesn’t like pillow talk but bc he’s the one doing most of the things to make you comfortable, he rather sit in silence and just trail a hand over your features.

kun will let you talk if you need to, but sometimes you talk so much he finds himself dozing off. he doesn’t mean to! he’s just genuinely tired. even so though, he will try his best to stay awake until you fall asleep. feels safe knowing you’re asleep before succumbing to slumber himself

explicit nsfw under here. go back if you don’t want to read it!

“oh my god-!” your hands tangle itself in his hair, holding it close to your cunt as his skilled tongue works over your clit. it drags up and down the sensitive area, while his fingers thrust deeper and deeper into you with you arousal providing lubrication. it’s dizzying, how your skin heats up so easily with his touch that you’re falling apart at the seams. the silk sheets he has on his queen-sized feel soft against your skin, giving just a bit of comfort in contrast with the squirming that you do. “that’s right baby, let it all go f’r me, pretty.” they groan into your core, increasing the pace of their fingers, continually reaching that spot that it sends shivers up your whole body as he hums and laps up at your slick. “so sweet.”

— JOHNNY, DOYOUNG

“that’s right, lovely, fuck yourself with my cock,” he only groans softly, briefly checking if his microphone is off. he sneaks a glance under his table where you’re currently moving your hips onto him, on all fours as someone in the finance department goes off onto something he deems boring. biting his lip, he can see how you turn your head back to meet his eyes from below, face morphed into pleasure that all you can manage is a pathetic lolled tongue while your eyes roll back. he wished you went faster, though, snapping finally when the finance director’s speech reaches an all-time boring state. kicking away his chair, he leans on the table for support and pumps his hips into you. “oohhh fuck- mmfng, uh uh!” is all you can manage, not caring for how your head bangs against the front covering of the table as he fucks into you with impatience.

— YUTA, JAEHYUN

your head’s pushed into the pillow, mushing up against your head as it soaks up all the sweat that forms on your forehead. you’re whining into the sheets as he continues to pound into you, roughness through the rough. you love it, though. “who’s making you feel this good, whore?” you can’t even answer, distracted by the squelching noises of your dripping cunt that it makes you squeeze your eyes tight. “look at me when you’re being fucked. want to be blindfolded again?” he pulls on your hair from the back, forcing your head into an uncomfortable position to see how his cock goes in and out of you. with your head turned to the side, he kisses you messily, sloppily, and one last deep thrust has your body spasming from the immense pleasure. you can’t return the kiss, moaning instead into the other’s mouth while your back arches to feel every inch of his cock.

— JAEMIN, KUN

[junkworldusa]

belated book asks, thank you for indulging me!

1- What book are you currently reading? bros karamazov, 2/3s through atm.

i hate that i’m thinking about pathologic (video game) the entire time but i can't help it. the way characters are constantly bursting into people's houses & going "you’re an angel, you're the best person i've ever met, you're a saint" to someone they just met 5 minutes ago is so. distinct. i joked on twitter that the first half of the book is just alyosha running around completing sidequests, which i still think is true, but once i got to the grand inquisitor part i was like "Okay mr dostoevsky, you’ve got me."

2- What book did you recently finish? "selections from science & sanity" by alfred korzybski, recently featured in the gumby quotes. a while back i listened to a 6 hour long interview with robert anton wilson where he talks about korzybski & general semantics so i gave it a shot. it's an abridged version of a 900 page book & i definitely plan on reading the full work at some point, it's wild. if you’re interested in language, consciousness, the gap between words & meaning, and/or hacking your brain i would recommend it. he repeats himself a lot but that's a side effect of his pedagogy, the goal of which is the eventual re-wiring of your entire nervous system in order to achieve a more rational worldview/healthier reactions to things. (so repetition via words/sounds/actions is necessary 2 engage the organism-as-a-whole.) the most important takeaway for me is that everything & everyone you interact with is a completely unique object, and this necessarily extends to temporality-- Bob in 1999 is NOT the same person as Bob in 2010, and treating them as though they were is a harmful mistake. interestingly enough, im taking a class with J.F. martel (weird studies podcast, author of "reclaiming art in the age of artifice") & last night he said what amounts to exactly the same thing, except he was arguing for like, a soft animism (i-thou vs. i- it) & korzybski was arguing for a more "rational" & secular world. so fascinating.

3- What’s a book that’s been on your to-read list for a long time? ulysses. i know. i know. i have a copy but keep bouncing off of it. idk why, i liked portrait of the artist as a young man. i think i’m worried i’ll turn into this person:

4- What’s the next book you’re hoping to read? i just got "speech play: research & resources for the study of linguistic creativity" in the mail so probably that. i'm on a childlore kick rn & this is like... horizontally related 5- Is there a book you own, but aren’t planning on reading?

around 2 years ago i was walking home after a show high on E & i ran into a guy i had met at work a couple times. went over to his apartment because MDMA is like, "everything is SO meaningful and SO much fun." i barely remember our conversation but he ended up being like "you would like this book, here take it, i have 3 copies." so i now own a copy of "the eater of darkness" by robert m coates. i still haven't read it. the moral of this story is [???]

6- What was your favorite series as a kid? Would you still read it now? so many of you asked this question :P

THE TRUTH: i was obsessed with lotr from age 8 to 13 with a level of dedication that i've never known since. yes, i would still read it now. i reread the silmarillion last year & it was naturally a way more rewarding experience than when i was a kid! 8- Fantasy or sci-fi? i like & have read a lot of older sf/f (le guin asimov pkd etc etc) but im not actively into either nowadays. i read whatever reaches me from the queer sf/f twitter pipeline (like whatever's on wizards vs lesbians) but otherwise dont pay much attention. so the answer is "idk!!!”

12- Have you ever read a celebrity memoir? If so, whose was it? the only memoir i've read in recent years has been "memories, dreams, reflections" so if jung counts as a celebrity, there you go 14- Fiction or non-fiction? non-fiction in both quantity of books owned & what i prefer reading. i almost view them as 2 separate activities bc the motivation for & experience of reading them are so wildly different 15- Favorite fiction genre? i know i said im not "actively into" sci fi but 16- Favorite non-fiction genre? "philosophy" i guess. i also really love any phenomenological/experience-based studies of paranormal stuff, like "the terror that comes in the night" by david hufford or anything by jacques vallée. basically books that both a) take strange experiences seriously & b) examine/catalogue them scientifically (to whatever degree). 

22- How do you organize your books? “poorly” 26- What’s your favorite book? fav non-fiction book: “time loops” by eric wargo. what if freud's career-making "irma dream" was a premonitory dream about the oral cancer that would severely impede his quality of life in his old age? (fantastic blog entry by the author, serves as a kind of intro to this topic: http://thenightshirt.com/?p=4326 )

when i read “time loops” it felt like everything i had ever read (& will ever read future tense) was for the sole purpose of understanding it. “time loops” picks up where J.W. dunne's 1927 "an experiment with time" left off. i won't say too much more about it but everyone should read it. it's so smart & engaging & will totally blow your miiiind, maaaan speaking of "an experiment with time," in 1964 a guy named vladimir nabokov began an experiment of his own following the directions dunne laid out in his book. dunne encouraged readers to write down their dreams in order to test the theory that a later event could generate an earlier dream.

nabokov’s experiment with dreams & time strongly influenced “ada or ardor: a family chronicle” which happens to be my favorite novel. i first read it when i was 18, and i've reread it 3 times since then (with the help of ada online, my beloved http://www.ada.auckland.ac.nz/ ) i would not recommend this book to anyone who doesn’t already like nabokov & know what he’s about. it’s fucked up & self indulgent & i love it so much

30- What character do you connect with the most? when jung said he was bad at math? i felt that

[awkwardbakugou]

is that seat taken? 🤭

[good-omens-classic]

Been thinking about the modernization of the narrative of Good Omens from the novel to the TV series prompted by those last posts.  DISCLAIMER: its actually been a while since i either watched the TV show or read the book so i might be misremembering stuff 😅

If i remember correctly, in the early stages of production of the TV show Neil Gaiman stated the aesthetics of Heaven and Hell were being updated to be less like countries at war, as they were in the novel, and more like factions of a corporation, with Heaven being the top office and Hell being the basement.  And he said this was to representing the shifting social anxieties of the time - the novel was written on the heels of the Cold War, and so has a lot of spy and soldier aesthetic to it, whereas nowadays we are all looking with a skeptical eye at Disney and Nestle as large corporations do whatever the hell they want without consequences.

I think this modernization is an effective one, but one that changes the flavor of the narrative slightly, and in a way that makes it less appealing to some people and more appealing to others.  One is not necessarily better than the other, and given one is a new TV show and one is an old novel so it’s hardly accurate to compare the size of fanbases, I can’t even say one is necessarily more or less appealing/popular than the other.  I think that the TV show was well-made, but there were a few small key changes in the writing that move the narrative away from the reasons why I got absolutely obsessed with the novel.  I think that David Tennant and Michael Sheen did a pretty good job acting the directions and script they were given, my main things I don’t like are kind of with the writing decisions (and tbh the costuming still but that’s petty 🙄)

I think it’s probably part of my upbringing, which was fundamentalist Protestant and honestly, obsessed with violence, that I don’t want to engage with a story where Hell is bad because it’s the dirty basement of an office building.  That’s a legit way to depict Hell, and one that has interesting thematical implications, but I personally want to read stories where Hell is fire and brimstone so that I can watch the protagonists defeat that.  I don’t fantasize about breaking free from an office job, or co-workers caught up in office petty politics, stories about finding softness and love amidst an actual war where violence is expected are what appeal to me.  The demons in the TV series are violent, but it’s just because they’re mean people, not because there’s a system put in place that forces them to be....which is honestly kind of part of why I liked the universe of the novel so much, because I liked to see Aziraphale and Crowley fight a system that tries to force them to be violent and fight and stuff?

The depiction of a narrative’s bad guy, even with subtle changes, can have some pretty significant impacts on how the audience feels about the narrative if what they’re looking for in the story is catharsis and wish-fulfillment.  For example, I often see people gripe about their DMs including homophobia and transphobia in their world-building in DnD, as though the ideal setting would be free from those things (and indeed, that’s the ideal setting for someone who wants escapism), but if you want to roleplay a character who struggles and overcomes those social issues, because they affect you in real life and you find it cathartic, constructing a world where those issues are very mild is not going to provide the same outlet that being victorious in a truly grimdark world is going to.  It’s not for everyone, but due to the novel’s vagueness about certain things, it allowed the fandom some level of flexibility in interpreting their version of the supernatural in whatever way they wanted (the only other angel we see “on screen” other than Aziraphale is Metatron, for like 3 pages, so it was really whatever your imagination cooked up to fill in those gaps), whereas the TV show fandom is working with more concrete building blocks.

This leads me to another gripe I have--making God female.  I understand this appealed hugely to a lot of people because they love the progressive implications of God not being male, and how it upsets religious bigots, but I honestly did not think this was super revolutionary or groundbreaking for the reason that Good Omens is a work of satire--it is criticizing God, and honestly?  I don’t think God is super kind and loving in either version of the story, Heaven is harsh and filled with asshole angels, Crowley was thrown out for just asking questions, and God plays games with his/her servants.  Not everyone sees it this way but I honestly feel like God in the GOmens universe is borderline abusive and gas-lighty, as a proxy criticism of the Christian Church, and the church has historically also been extremely misogynistic, so I think that aspect of it kind of falls apart when God is suddenly female.

That line about dinosaur bones being a joke that God played on humans hits differently when child-you went to a school that taught creationism in science class and thought you were going to hell if you didn’t believe what they told you.

But getting back to my main point, the TV show had the narrative updated for the times much more significantly than the radio play that came out in 2015--for that one, it was mostly cosmetic changes, such as tossing in a mention of X-boxes, whereas the TV show updated the basic narrative structure to reflect changing culture.  I think it was an effective change, but one that made the narrative less appealing to me personally.  A lot of people who were in the fandom before the TV show came out, or who just read the novel after watching the show to compare, seem to agree that the worldbuilding and the characterizations have subtle differences between the two incarnations, which to a casual consumer is not really that noticeable, but if you like one or the other because it hits a very specific sweet spot it might make a difference.  For me I liked it mostly because it provided a blank canvas with some very good building blocks for, like, my imagination to run off with, and the TV show closed a lot of those avenues by filling them in with something more concrete.  That’s not necessarily a bad thing and I can see myself experiencing this from the opposite side when I go into fandoms having just consumed the newest incarnation of a thing and quite liked it, only to find the fandom has people who liked it before that adaptation and hate it a lot!  That’s just the nature of the beast and an inevitable side effect of obsessing over something way more than you’re meant to, but it’s also why I’m not really interested in reading or writing fanfiction set in the TV ‘verse.  Anyway Im kind of rambling now but this is just kinda my thoughts and my onion so if anyone has any other thoughts on it feel free to share your onion with me too :)

[slaapkat]

6, 8, 16, 23 and 38 for the COMIX asks

6: Favorite DC hero

hard tie between alan scott and jared stevens (big surprise) but otherwise. pre-90s hal jordan.

8: Favorite story-arc of your favorite character

as if there’s any question about it, Hal Jordan’s entire decade-long arc from Parallax into the Spectre. primarily the Parallax portion of it, although those comics detailing the hardships Hal went through at the beginning of his tenure as the Spectre (as well as his appearance in JSA 1999 “Redemption Lost” and the additional arc details in the Sleepers novel series). still ardently believe no one else has ever done anything so good for a character and unfortunately ever will again. everything dealing with Hal’s very justified rage and indignity regarding the destruction of Coast City to his loss of purpose to his guilt and uhhhh very obvious suicidal tendencies altogether make it a very fascinating story to me. depending on my mood I flip flop between parallax the entity straight up not existing and it just being all hal and parallax being a slightly more subdued instance of parasitic zombification but either way my point stands.

16: Worst comic you have ever read and why

Batman year zero I tried reading it when I was obsessed witth the riddler but it just sucked so much ass I hated it so much. capullo’s art style makes me wanna break things. otherwise that whole clusterfuck generally with metal/year of the villain. snyder cant write im sorry. nothing makes sense and feels like he’s only ever trying to capture the weirdness of old timey comics without actually understanding why the camp of back then worked and also why more often than not it didn’t work.

23: Your stance on events

DEPENDS. a lot of modern day events vary from terrible to being on thin ice. if it’s mostly contained within a specific series then it’s. probably fine. wrath of the first lantern, for instance. despite being new52 imo it remained pretty good. the last company-wide event I liked is probably blackest night. most other event nowadays don’t really have a whole lot coordination between writers so it never feels like there’s any real stakes. my biggest problem with that whole dark knights death metal ordeal with perpetua could not have been more obvious and cheap method of giving the universe a quick soft reboot. i fully admit to still having yet to have read crisis on infinite earths but even that still felt more put together. zero hour is REALLY well done by comparison imo. every writer who wants to do an event nowadays feels like they’re entirely motivated by making their mark rather than. just writing an interesting and compelling story. identity crisis? compelling. dark knights death metal? garbage.

38: If you were to pick the dream superhero book you’d wanna read who would write it, and who would draw it, and what hero would it be about?

HMM. DIFFICULT. now that im (we’re) newly into him, I’d imagine a black label Enemy Ace book akin to War Idyll but set entirely during wwi rather than in flashbacks. something that focuses on his crushing loneliness in the same his stories in the original comics did. drawn by doc shaner. written by….. honestly maybe George Pratt again.

Otherwise. honestly probably ideally a jared stevens book dealing with him finding purpose after coming to life after whatever event and coming with to terms with no longer being fate but still being stuck with the consequences (the eye and the arm). drawn AND illustrated by keith giffen and finally allowing him to finish the arc he was making with the Dr. Fate mini series he had written beforehand.

[merakiui]

You got any yandere hcs of the boys before we start. Im an yandere obsessed anon who lives and brreaths reading this shit and I wanna know how fucked we can get

(Here you go, wonderful anon! I’ll post yandere hcs for the other teams soon. I’d also like to post yandere fics for these boys, but I’m not sure if anyone’s interested. >-< I’ve got two sitting in my drafts, though!)

Yandere Morning and Day Teams

Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 TW: (yandere) unhealthy/obsessive behaviors, mentions of kidnapping/captivity, gas-lighting, starvation, abuse

Morning Team (Mane)

🧩 Ghilley 🧩

Ghilley is definitely a stalker. He’ll be in your shadow whether you like it or not. Nothing escapes his watchful gaze, so it’s important that your enemies choose their words around you.

He’s already skilled at sneaking around, so he’ll use that to his advantage. Popping in to give you a spook, showing up when you’re out with someone else, and even when you think you’re alone.

He’ll follow you if he thinks you’re going to get yourself into trouble again. His poor manager just has a habit of attracting bad people. Just let Ghilley handle all those vengeful spirits. You won’t have to lift a finger!

If anyone gives you problems, tell Ghilley and that issue will be solved in no time. And if you get curious and ask him what happened, he’ll just shrug the question off in a playful manner.

His behavior is unpredictable, so you never know what he does in his spare time. Truthfully, Ghilley’s either watching you or he’s playing a few tricks on those who bothered you. They’ll remember not to mess with you if they’re given a permanent fright.

You won’t notice what’s going on until everyone starts to keep their distance. Friends will make up excuses so they won’t have to hang out with you, and those who might’ve had some romantic interest in you have cut communication altogether.

When you’re feeling down, Ghilley will swoop in to cheer you up. You start to normalize your relationship with him because it’s all you currently know. No one else is willing to talk to you, so you can only rely on him.

Ghilley knows it must hurt to be alone, but it’s the only way he can have you to himself. So he’s willing to bury his pain if it means he’ll get to console you.

He wouldn’t hurt you, but he might remind you every now and then that he’s the only one who hasn’t abandoned you yet.

Yet. A word that’s become part of his daily vocabulary. A word that reminds you of the fact that he could leave you one day.

☀️ Ell ☀️

He shouldn’t feel these emotions to begin with. It’s almost...dirty, in a way. Almost like he’s sinning.

He’s not doing anything bad, though. Loving you was what got him kicked out of Heaven in the first place, but that’s not entirely evil in itself. At first, he assumed Cupid’s Arrow was the one to blame for these lovey-dovey feelings, but it’s not Cupid’s job to foster obsession among former angels.

He doesn’t recognize how suffocating his presence truly is. You’d probably have to tell him to back off before he stops sticking by your side, and even if you did something like that it’d make Ell incredibly sad. Without realizing it, he’ll start to guilt-trip you. 

“I’m sorry, Manager! You just looked like you could use some company. I... I can leave you alone if that’s what you want. You might think I’m annoying and—achoo!”

Nowadays, he’s been sneezing a lot, but the idea that his love for you is what’s causing all of this never crosses his mind. He just can’t wrap his head around that. Why would love, a pure, wonderful feeling, make him sneeze?

Under that smile of his are a dozen worries. He’s afraid he’ll chase you away or that you’ll stop liking him. Ell would feel crushed if that ever happened, so all of his energy goes into appeasing you.

He’ll show up unannounced at your office with your favorite snacks, follow you around the campus, and talk to you about literally anything. He could ramble about the grass if it means you’ll spare him your time.

Ell doesn’t really know the meaning of jealousy or hatred. Having been an angel once, he’s not used to negativity. He doesn’t necessarily feel extreme envy, nor does he hate any of the Reapers, but he does sulk about it.

It’s hard to say when he got obsessed. Perhaps it was when you first met and you mistook him for your own guardian angel. Despite the fact that he’s not an angel anymore, Ell likes the sound of that.

It’s a guardian angel’s job to care for and protect humans, so surely you won’t mind if he stays glued to you like a fungus. After all, it’s harmless, happy Ell! You’ve got nothing to worry about!

🐴 Jamie 🐴

Jamie is so strong it’s scary. Good luck trying to beat him in a fight if you ever attempt an escape.

He seems so innocent and kind on the outside, always willing to lend a hand when you’re struggling with Non-Non. If he’s being honest, he likes doing chores with you. It almost feels like the both of you are working on a farm together in the desolate outdoors. Just you, him, sprawling farmland, and no civilization in sight. How cute is that?

No one suspects he's obsessed until they look beyond that soft appearance of his. His gaze will linger to the point where it’s creepy, and he’ll smile while he watches you work.

He’ll get better at technology and city life so he’ll have something else to chat about whenever it’s just you and him.

If he finds out that you’re interested in something, he’ll try his best to learn more about it. Oh, you mentioned a new movie that’s been released in the human world? Maybe he’ll have to see it for himself. Did you want to try a new pastry from your favorite bakery? Jamie will buy it for you, so you should go with him!

He’s reliable, kind, and helpful—surely you’ll fall for those qualities. If not, he’ll find another way. After all, there’s a saying that goes ‘where there’s a will, there’s a way,’ and it’s not like he’ll give up anytime soon.

Jamie likes to imagine a comfortable life with you on the farm. Both of you will tend to the land and the animals, you’ll always have fresh crops, and you'll be together forever. It’s an ideal fantasy, but if you’re not willing he might just have to lock you up in the stables. 

Jamie doesn’t fret over potential rivals. If he was able to silence the thugs in his neighborhood, a few pesky humans are nothing.

He’ll get flustered when you say anything nice to him. It really warms his heart to be at the receiving end of your caring words.

And it’s even better when you're accepting his suffocating love. You’ll find that the bed is much softer than the stable. Just don’t push him too far. Sometimes he doesn’t realize his own strength, and your bones can only take so much pressure.

💋 Licht 💋

Licht didn’t think he’d find his soulmate so soon! Whether you click or not, Licht certainly feels a special connection. He’s going to flirt with you no matter what.

It’s up to you whether you respond to his playful advances, but if you decide to humor him be prepared to have this man all over you. If you’re returning his playful gestures and remarks, it must mean something!

Licht lives for storybook romance. There’s something so lovely about sweeping his true love off of their feet, so he’d like to woo you in traditional ways. He’ll gift you your favorite candies, give you a bouquet of flowers, and buy you cute trinkets that remind him of you.

He takes note of what you wear and whether or not you put on a perfume/cologne on certain days. He’ll memorize your fashion style and then try to match it with his own. Licht’s happy whenever the two of you conveniently match outfits. It’s almost like you’re a couple.

He’ll probably spray his own cologne on your clothes if he ever gets a hold of them. You’ll wonder where this new scent came from, and Licht will be over the moon if you decide to leave it as it is.

Licht will invite you on dates under the guise that the two of you are just hanging out as friends. Lo and behold, his real motive is to act like your boyfriend. If you aren’t careful, he might just go around telling strangers that you’re his partner.

He’s always touching you in some way. Sometimes it’s an arm around your waist or his hands are on your shoulders. To some, it’s just his affectionate personality, but to you it’s completely suffocating.

Whenever he holds your hand, it almost feels like he’s daring you to try. Like he wants you to run off and get a taste of the scary world so that he can come in to save you like a true prince.

He hopes that enough flirting will have you confessing. All of these romantic gestures have got to count for something!

Despite this, Licht wants to believe you love him as much as he loves you. Tricking himself is easy, but convincing you is going to be a challenge.

Day Team (Die)

🎹 Theo 🎹

Theo’s harbored some dark thoughts ever since he witnessed you and Nine in the storage room, happily playing the piano like a pair of friends. Like a pair of lovers.

Theo can’t stand it when the others are around you, especially if they have ill-intent. Whenever he takes care of bullies or vengeful spirits, he’s got this dead look on his face. It’s devoid of any feeling, and his eyes are filled with silent anger. It’s a stare that does more than curse; it could probably kill.

He’s rather clingy, always insisting that he accompany you to and from your destinations. If you decline, he’ll just smile and act polite. But if he finds out that you decided to go with someone else...

Theo wants to be the only one in your life. Everyone else is just a worthless germ that needs to be scrubbed away. If they linger around you for too long, he worries you’ll become infected.

He doesn’t want to hurt you, but sometimes you need to learn a lesson. If you’re so picky about eating the food he so graciously went out and purchased, then maybe you don’t deserve to eat at all. Not until you warm up to his cooking, that is.

He’s willing to do anything for you in order to appear perfect. If you were to tell him to shoulder your workload, he’d do it without a single complaint. If you wanted him to watch paint dry, he’d do it with his head full of you.

All he ever thinks about is you. Sure, his mind flits from June to new recipes to the piano every now and then, but it always seems to settle on you in the end.

What did you eat for breakfast? Did you get enough sleep? Would you like something to drink? Where are you going with Youssef? Why is Nine getting close to you? Why aren’t you looking at him?

Theo will know everything about you in time. Whether you like it or not, he’s going to unearth every detail he can. Even mundane habits you don’t pay attention to. Before you know what’s happening, Theo’s got your schedule memorized thoroughly.

He holds no remorse for those who get in his way. As sweet and disarming as he may seem to those around him, Theo’s wicked behind closed doors. That spell book of his has no business gathering all this dust.

🌹 Louis 🌹

Everyone assumes Louis has no interest in anyone other than himself, so it’s a surprise when he starts to give you more attention than normal.

His compliments start getting personal and they still don’t make sense. Just the other day, you were trudging through the hall, dead-tired, when Louis passed you. He stopped, smiled, and said, “Thy radiance outshines the brightest of stars!”

He’s always energetic like that, so it’s not like his behavior is particularly strange. But he spends more time flattering you than himself. His main priority isn’t his beautiful face anymore.

You deserve the world. Why hasn’t anyone given it to you yet? Fear not because Louis is determined to give you everything you could ever want. He’s a prince, after all, so it’s only fair that you sit upon the throne with him.

There’s no room for anyone else in this relationship. It’s just you and him. If you were to leave him, his heart would shatter! Sadness has never been a good fit on Louis, and you know how much he cares for his appearance. So you’ll do him a favor and stay so he won’t wilt like a rose, right?

It’s almost like he lives off of you. You’re his sunlight, water, and fresh air. Any less of your attention and he’s sighing dramatically. Won’t you be a dear and cheer him up? After all, it’s not every day you see Louis so upset.

He doesn’t want you to hate him. If you do, Louis will just ignore your hurtful feelings. He’s got more than enough love to go around. Surely that’ll convince you that he means no harm.

You’ll be treated like royalty, and everyone else is a mere peasant. Sure, Louis can say that he treasures everyone, but some people just aren’t worth his time.

Naturally, a prince deserves the finest, and he won’t settle for anyone who isn’t you.

So don’t fret! Those chains are only temporary, and once you show him some hospitality he’s willing to ease up on his restrictions. Although his sense of freedom is rather cracked.

♞ Ethan ♞

Ethan is a tough case. He hardly shows his emotions, so it’s difficult to determine how he’s feeling. He’ll never show any hostility towards you, though. It’s nothing but warmth and kindness.

When it comes to the others, he’ll give them the cold shoulder and a few cruel remarks. His patience tends to wear thin when he sees people bothering you.

Ethan’s like a hawk. He’ll keep an eye on you to make sure you’re staying out of trouble and he’ll swoop in as soon as something unsavory happens.

He’ll treat you like a glass figurine that’s always on the verge of breaking. At some point, he becomes your unofficial knight in a way. He’s willing to defend you by all means necessary, so everyone else should back off if they know what’s best for them.

At first, he scorned these feeble emotions for getting in the way of his stony resolve, but now he’s come to accept them.

It’s impossible to deter him from his motives. Once he’s got his mind set, he won’t change it. After all, everything he does is completely intentional.

He’ll just stare at you while you struggle in those bindings. If you were smart, you’d just accept your fate and act docile, but Ethan’s not a fool. He’ll keep you bound for as long as it takes.

You can try to reason with him, but nothing ever works. No matter how sweet the deal may seem, he never agrees to any of it.

Ethan will take care of you while you’re adjusting to a permanent life with him. You won’t go a day without a bath, healthy meals, or a lack of sleep. If Ethan says you’ll bathe, you’ll bathe. If he says you’ll eat, you’ll eat. His word are practically law.

Despite his harsh rules, he’s not that hard on you. He’d never lay a hand upon you, nor will you find yourself at the end of his sharpened sword. As long as you fall into a pleasant routine with little complaint, he’ll be happy.

💥 June 💥

June doesn’t realize his feelings for you are unhealthy. He just thinks they’re a natural part of life! Everyone falls in love at some point, right? So you can’t blame him when he’s doing everything he can to spend more time with you.

Your paperwork will never get done because June wants you to watch him while he trains. He’ll even show you his workout routine, hoping you’ll agree to train with him one day.

He’s one of the Reapers who doesn’t get jealous much. Unless someone’s really trying to get him to snap—which doesn’t happen often. But in the event that he does feel envious, he’ll frown a bit, his voice won’t be at its usual loudness, and he’ll sulk.

Immediately perks up the moment you give him any attention. He practically lives off of your reactions and has no problem announcing that to everyone.

June will remain loyal to you no matter what! Nothing can separate the two of you, and he’s convinced himself that you feel exactly the same. If you’re always smiling, it must mean that you accept his feelings! So then why have you started acting awkward when he continues to ramble passionately about how much he admires your strength and persistence?

Try to leave him and he’ll be so heartbroken. June won’t know how to react! Why would you want to leave? He’s never done anything that would warrant this kind of behavior. Maybe he just needs to give you more affection.

Bright and early, he’s knocking on your dorm with a huge grin. “Manager, the sun hasn’t risen yet, but that doesn’t mean we should wait for it! Let’s train hard today! Haha!”

June loves protecting you. Whenever he saves you from danger, he feels like a hero in those action movies he loves so much. Anyone would love to get saved by someone who’d die for them! This sort of loyalty will have you falling for him in no time.

And if it doesn’t, he can just create a few perilous scenarios. What you don’t know can’t kill you, right?

You’re his soulmate, so there’s no way he’d give you up in his afterlife.

[saejinws]

let’s get it! it’s chey ( she/her ), bringing you wishbone’s act #2, paksae. he’s an indie artist with heavy influence from the bedroom pop & chillwave micro-genres, as you can gather from his three official singles at the moment: cassette, karma & late night movie. if discord is more convenient for you, you can add me there ( stream do or not#1490 ), but otherwise, i’m usually reachable in ims! here are saejin’s links : career / stats / plots / pinterest, and hopefully all the other information you need will be found below.

the story.

saejin was lucky enough to be born into a relatively happy family, albeit a small one. both parents are only children, so he didn’t have aunts, uncles or cousins, and only his maternal grandparents were heavily involved with the family, but it was alright! lower middle class, mom who made him watch bird documentaries, dad who had a face made out of stone, but there was still a lot of love. it was nice.

the first big change happened when his little sister ( saebyeol ) was born. her existence put a tragic end to his legacy as the park family’s number one baby, considering she’s a whole eight years younger than him.

in the next year, his mom was diagnosed with a chronic illness; one that would see her rapidly going in and out of hospitals for years to come, so the days of naïve happiness were over for saejin. from that point on, it was about “cherishing every moment” and “living life to the fullest” and “not wasting breath on things that can’t be changed”.

aka his mom’s circumstances meant that he was constantly getting scolded by doctors, rns, family friends, his dad, whoever for displaying negative emotions. was shut down a lot, told that he was being a hassle and that he needed to make things easier for his mom. learned to suppress his emotions unless they were positive.

but while most adults in his life were trying to teach him how to be realistic and approach life with an understanding that nothing is easy, his mom worked hard to do the exact opposite. constantly pushed him to chase his dreams because life is so short, and when he decided that he was going to pursue music, she was the first person to tell him to go for it and give it his all.

got his first guitar at age 14, which is when he started writing his own songs and messing around with editing software, but it wasn’t until 2015 that he started playing his music for people. started in coffee shops ( at this point, his songs were entirely acoustic ), then started playing in clubs in hongdae, which is when he started experimenting with his sound. struggled to gain attention. can’t think of what it’s called rn, but there’s a set amount of tickets that opening acts have to sell to earn their spot in a lineup; saejin’s parents and close friends usually bought a tonnn to help him out because strangers wouldn’t give him the time of day. a nobody. hung out after his sets to meet people, but nobody wanted to meet him. pain.

popularity steadily grew over time, and by late 2019, he was in talks with wishbone records. by the new year, he was a signed artist.

assumed that having a record deal guaranteed International Stardom, so you can imagine his surprise when his first music video hardly gained 5k views in the entire debut week... it was an eye-opening experience for him. realized that the grind was, in fact, not over yet. 

his popularity is on a steady incline, but he still isn’t anywhere close to being a household name. very lowkey. he pretends that he doesn’t care, but it eats away at him. spends most of his time in his studio nowadays, trying to create a song that will pull him into the charts. becoming more distant from his parents because he’s so caught up in work, so that’ll probably come back around to bite him in the ass eventually but yk... oh well.

saebyeol is the only family member whom he couldn’t distance himself from if she tried because she’s a parasite. always at his apartment or blowing up his phone, which drives him absolutely crazy because her favorite pastime is ruthlessly bullying him. she’s a little demon.

the character.

park saejin, aka PAKSAE. ‘97. seoulite. soloist.

social introvert. he prefers to spend time alone and usually doesn’t seek company, but if he’s approached first, he’s a relatively open book. forms bonds quickly.

gets unreasonably attached to his friends in short periods of time, so he tries to keep his circle small. he can only deal with wondering why three people aren’t texting him back in a single day: any more than that and he spirals.

pretty optimistic view of life, i think. could’ve become jaded due to his mom’s situation, but she’s made huge efforts to keep his worries minimal and be the best role model she can be in her circumstances. has tried to instill a “life is short, so embrace every moment with open arms” mentality in both of her kids, which saejin picked up on a whole lot more than his little sister has. you probably wouldn’t assume this by listening to his Pity Party Songs ( as saebyeol puts it ), but he’s a happy guy!

on the topic of his pity party songs, all three of his singles so far are a bit sad/melancholic, detailing looking back on the ending of something. he rarely expresses sadness or regret in his day-to-day life, but he considers music to be an outlet. the one place he can be as real as he wants without being criticized. ( that’s what he thought before, anyway. nowadays, he’s constantly getting comments about how nobody wants to listen to him cry about his breakups. fair enough. )

his appearance contradicts his personality. on the outside, he seems like a very loud, expressive person: vibrant colors, unusual materials ( silk chiffon, organza, velvet, etc ), lots of accessories such as gaudy rings, y2k-style beaded necklaces & polymer clay earrings that he probably buys from etsy. but he’s really, really chill & soft-spoken, tries to blend in even though it’s... impossible when he looks the way that he does.

gets most of his social interaction through the sporadic gigs that he plays. on stage, he’s highly expressive and interactive with his fans. when i think of his stage presence, i think of artists like lauv & troye sivan: he utilizes all of his stage space, even when performing more mellow songs. doesn’t want to just stand around and bore his audience. but nowadays, he rarely waits around to meet people because he’s become even more introverted than he was before. in his day-to-day life, there are only about three people whom he contacts frequently and always shows up for. otherwise, his connections are situational: associates the people in his life with certain places, things or activities and rarely meets up with them outside those situations. prefers to communicate through texts or social media messages if he can, but even then, if you aren’t one of his three closest friends, it’s difficult to reach him unless he needs or wants something.

but even tho he’s SUCH a loner... he’s what i like to call a serial romantic. not on a dating ban and also not that popular anyway, so he goes on a lot of dates. blind dates, tinder dates, whatever. texting his friends like “i think i’m in love” twice a month but he’s never talking about the same person. wears a heart-shaped rose quartz pendant to try to manifest meeting his soulmate but he doesn’t want to be clowned for believing in the power of crystals/stones ( or for being so obsessed with love even though it’s OBVIOUS if you listen to his music ) so he says he just wears it ‘cause it’s nice to look at. 

his stage name, 박새, is a type of bird. it’s usually stylized as paksae, so most people don’t question it much, but eventually his intl fanbase got curious about what it means and popped the hangul into a translator: lo and behold, he’s now “affectionately” referred to by fans in english-speaking regions as tit. it isn’t saebyeol’s fault but he’s definitely found a way to blame her for it.

if you go to any of his music videos, you will find numerous comments from paksaeanti05. that’s saebyeol. usually she’s hating on him, but if anyone ELSE tries to hate on him, she turns into a keyboard warrior. she’s his biggest critic and his most loyal supporter.

[neo-shitty]

toffee!

ah yeah, i think quarentine has given people some opportunity to actually just sit with the person they are, rather than be rushing around for the person they want to become. its good you got smth good out of isolation! ah thats great! hope you had fun and ur partner in crime speeds back home so you can get out more hehe.

ah yeah ty, good suggestions.

hmm good point, i was sort of putting it separate to the whole not-sexualising thing, but yeah. mmm yeah i totally agree, some of the enhypen fics/imagines *shudder* and even reading innie stuff is just a bit *icky* cos everyone still thinks of him as our agi ppang. yeah def would be good but sadly this just seems to be the world we live in. :(

ah yes the holy masterlist (not sarc) i have actually read in the rain and gladius maximus before, but ill go look for in class! oooh thats good! character development lol. hmmmm yes champagne problems was the angst to end all angst, that shit hurt. it was actually one of the first of your fics i read and i recall almost crying over the whole thing, it was so heartbreaking, i can see how it almost made you want to drop angst. good that youve allowed yourself some lee-way tho :)

hehe thats so cool. okay here we go, ill try not to be mortally offended (/hj)

cheese - yes same, i liked it but that was all there was, it wasnt a super standout track. it was rlly underwhelming for me but some of the hook is super catchy so there is Redemption (tm) in store for cheese maybe

thunderous - mmm, yeah at first i totally agreed, i think they suffer from too much good music syndrome, that all their other tracks are such fucking bops its hard to stay at that level of perfection. the choreo was beautiful tho and tbh, the track has grown on me since ive been watching all the vids abt it. its my brothers favourite track

domino - YES GODAMMIT IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE TITLE TRACK. the raps, the vocals, the vibes, the fucking domino sound in the back? i would have streamed that shit on repeat. but tbh, as good as it is, it doesnt have that sort of grandness/oomph that skz seems to like in their title tracks so i can see why they chose thunderous (tho domino would have been so good) *sigh*

ssick - yeah same, not my fave track by a long mile, the crowd cheering was a ?strange? choice and the chorus was a bit bare/empty, plus like i mentioned earlier, it was kinda funny to me for some reason but ill still play it if im playing thru the whole album

the view - ahh one of those not like other girls (/j) i honestly think its just a good party song, just a bop to play in the background when nobodys rlly paying much attention. its pretty generic pop music but catchy

sorry, i love you - hehe yeah i thought it was going to be sadder as well, but i rlly loved the fact that they all just got to sing, which almost never happens, i dont think ive heard felix sing for a long time, so i enjoyed it. wasnt rlly a standout track but i just casually like it. looking forward to the fic haha

silent cry - this song i swear, some bits are rlly good and then others are just? why?? it does sound like a dance song tho idk. definitely not one of my faves either

secret secret - YES its so good! its such a chill song and i love their vocals in it. the combination of lo-fi/fake strings backup stuff and their heavenly vocals just makes it *chefs kiss* im listening to it rn and just... its so beautiful. it gives me pumped up another day vibes ya know? like my pace is edgy get cool, this one is energetic another day i feel like. overall i love it

STAR LOST - ah thats so cool! i didnt know that! on first listen this song had a similar vibe to secret secret but then the beat came in and ahh its such a good song. i can totally imagine them putting this song to a concert footage vid, this song is so sweet.

red lights - LMAO YES ITS SO AWKWARD WHY DOES IT GO ON FOR SO LONG ah thats good! yeah good point, its quite intense hehe. but that is my fave trope and this is lowkey my favourite track on the album so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ just the combination of hyunjins and chans voices, the backing music, the lyrics ahh red lights my beloved

surfin’ - yes lmao its always a shock, i feel like they should have put gone away in between them, but its such a fun cute song, i cant get rlly mad. yeah, as an aussie i think im contractually obligated to like beaches lol. sand im not such a fan of, but my familys rlly into fishing and my brother loves bodyboarding so we stay at a beach house at least twice a year and we live like 5 mins from 3 different beaches (hehe all aussie cities are on the coast lol) so thats cool. do you like beaches?

gone away - ah gone away my beloved, i love this song sm, its just so pure and showcases their vocals and lyrics so well. yes the pitch change is very out of the blue, i feel liek they went directly from seungmins soft vocals to hans powerful ones which was an interesting choice, but hey, im not complaining

wolfgang - YES IKR ah im so happy he got to be included in that era and song. yeah its such a full on song i cant rlly listen to it if im in a quiet mood but its very motivating :)

hehe mood, i hope they do! ahhh no rest, but at least you wont have to pull a blink and wait a year for any word from the group lol. im not rlly into nct but im excited for them! ah hopefully youll be able to sneak some rest into that chaotic schedule, with enhypen (idk if u stan but yeah) squeezed into it haha

<3 w.a. 🐺

i wheezed at partner in crime, it reminded me of smth. i have a lee know fic in the drafts that i wrote 'in honor' of him (and his departure-ish). i'll tag you when i finish it, if you want. it's a rather hilarious one.

oh my god. based on my experience on the collabs i've joined before, writing explicit shit for '01 & '02 is not accepted (nct's maknaes) but with enha's hyung line '01 & '02 somehow it's okay? i do a double take every time i see fics like those i mean, technically, it's legal but still what the fuck. maybe it's just not for me at the moment. not at us venting our frustration about this. it's just something that's so accepted here that i am (in all honesty) slightly uncomfortable about. but oh well. that's kpop writerblr for you.

man i could've linked all the fics in the ask instead so you wouldn't have to go looking for them! i think i saw you like in class the other day (the fic i renamed into sharp-tongued, god it took me a while to remember the new title). describing champagne problems as an angst to end all angst is one way to put what i was feeling back in december. it just hurt to write and admit?? if that ever happened to me i would prolly cry :d

okay back to the album talk! i love how you answered with more thoughts. i love exchanges like these! i am a victim of the cheese hook and it's now one of my favorite tracks in the album. PLS, TOO MUCH GOOD MUSIC SYNDROME. that's on our self-producing kings 😌💅 also, your brother has taste! as i am typing this, domino's currently playing in my head and i realized that too, that it doesn't have that 'vibe' of a skz title track. honestly, this could be a title track of another group. ssick is starting to grown on me because i found the beats cool kdjsk not the not like other girls 😭 the view is the generic pop that i don't like but i get why a lot of people enjoy it. sorry i love you scratches a certain itch that i find myself singing the first few lines every time i remember it. i too would want to hear felix sing more!

> a mini junction on the album talk bc i got side tracked. on that topic, i want skz to switch positions at some point like i know those allrounders are capable of doing so. specifically, i want to hear seungmin rap!!!! (yk in the recent weekly idol he talked faster than changbin in a challenge and changbin is like the fastest rapper in kpop that's active atm if im not mistaken. my dandy boy has some potential and i want it UNLEASHED.)

back to album talk. silent cry is basically sad music to twerk to. secret secret is definitely one of my favorite tracks :( i loved how you compared the tracks HAJSAH i burst out laughing bc yk what, you're right! i want to make a star lost edit of skz but i simply do not have the time i want to cry. i love the song so much. ok, my dreaded track, red lights. idt i have played the track since we last talked. my friend sent me the lyrics tho and i'm itching to write a twisted au out of it. idk if you're comfortable with yandere but somewhere along those themes. the obsessive type of love that's sweet at first but turns rotten. IMAGINE IF THEY PUT GONE AWAY BETWEEN ASHJA it's like going from 50 shades to the notebook.

i was about to ask if you lived near the coast and you literally mentions it here god im so stupid. yes i LOOOOOOOOOVE beaches so much. living in an archipelago is fun :( i live in a part of the country that's more island than city so every time i want some vitamin sea it's accessible. i heard the waves in australia are great :( anYWHOOO gone away :(( every time it plays im compelled to skip it because it makes me sAD AND NOWADAYS I DONT HAVE THE TIME TO BE SAD. contrary to you, i dislike my quiet moods because i tend to overthink a lot.

i have this little analogy about how there are stays that enjoy songs the generic pop + mellow songs and then there are other stays that enjoy the noisy tracks. in my mind, it's like a perfect balance that makes me feel like all the tracks are loved in the end. just by different people.

PULL A BLINK. bro i fucking hate yg entertainment. they have the biggest kpop girl group LOCKED in their basement when they could be (and i mean this in the most business-like way not morally) milking money of the quad. they're yg's biggest hope at not being bankrupt atm so it's a damn fucking mystery to me as to how they aren't doing anything. (jk i just realized lisa solo album soon, but i still need a ot4 cb hELLO)

i stopped looking forward to the teasers. rest > kpop boys. i don't want to sound like a cult member but have you tried checking out nct? are they just not your thing? (i get it tho, that's one hard group to get into). and yes i do stan enhypen!

wow i love how long these asks are! they're like online penpals. but i also want to ask about you! how have you been lately? are you feeling okay both mentally and physically? how's the weather there? do you have anything that you want to talk about? maybe an interesting book you read? feel free to bring up anything you want to share! i'm getting conscious about talking about myself HAJHSJ

and yet another long answer B) i am sooo sorry T___T should these ask exchanges feel draining to you, feel free to stop sending them in AAAA

[ayellowcurtain]

Can you write more about alpha Sander and him being friends with Senne? 

please write more of the abo au, im obsessed with the whole robbe/sander/britt. Like maybe a moment where robbe feels pushed over the edge? like he cant take anymore that sander doesnt choose him alone?

you could add Sander ending Britt and she for revenge looks for Sander again making Robbe see them making them separate, but then reconsider and come back.

Part 3 or 4, idk

Sander is not a good person. He cares deeply for Robbe, maybe he was impulsive when he bit him, but he doesn’t regret it for one second, Robbe is and will always be the one. The thing is: Sander sometimes likes to make dumb, dumb decisions based on nothing but his instant needs.

He needs to settle down already or to take it easy, but then he’s at a party, and Britt is constantly all over him, waiting for him to do something about it and they’ve been drinking together for a few hours, talking and flirting. And Sander is really not trying, but it’s just natural. Before he can think he’s already falling for the flirting game that Britt taught him to be a master in.

Like always, they end up stumbling their way to the second floor of Senne’s place, Sander touching the wall behind Britt until he finds an unlocked door that he opens and pushes her inside, locking the door behind him, quickly getting rid of his clothes with her help.

-

Robbe is not answering his texts or calls. Sander tries not to worry, but with every minute without an answer, he starts to get even more anxious. Why is it always like this with them?

Things with Britt were different last time. His body is still sore from all the scratching and for how long they went, so many rounds Sander lost count. Sander knows her well and she was very vocal about what she wanted, but that he can’t give her.

Sander doesn’t plan on being a dad any time soon. And when he said it was just goodbye sex, she was pissed. Britt is also really bad at hiding her emotions and Sander knew a thunderstorm was coming his way when he didn’t do as she wanted, but he was determined to stay as far away as possible from Britt from now on. For his sake and for Robbe’s, but it was too late.

Robbe knows about what happened, Sander feels it like it’s his own emotions. This is the worst part about being connected to Robbe: he knows the pain he not so accidentally caused.

He wasn’t planning on telling Robbe, even if it’s hard these days to keep any type of secret between them. Even though they’re in love, Sander doesn’t feel like he needs to tell his every action. Robbe knows how he is, this shouldn’t be a surprise. They’re young and have their entire lives to be together, Robbe is living his life too.

Please, Robbe, just pick up your fucking phone. Please?

Sander sighs, hanging up without being able to reach Robbe again. He almost goes to Britt’s place, asking nicely for her to stay away from Robbe, but there’s no point in that. The damage is already done. Sander knows she went to Robbe to try and ruin what they have.

-

Robbe is at his place, Sander can smell him, almost sure he’s right behind the door, choosing not to open it, but Sander needs to talk to him, so he knocks again, inhaling sharply, not totally comfortable in forcing Robbe to do things he doesn’t want to, but he won’t go home before they talk.

“Robbe, open the door.” He takes his hands off the door when he hears Robbe unlocking it, opening against his will, just because Sander said he had to.

“What are you doing here?”

Sander feels all his insides writhe as he sees Robbe after a few days. His eyes are red and swollen from crying, talking with a choked voice. “Robbe, you know that’s what she wants, that’s why she came here to tell you everything. You’re giving her exactly what she wants!”

“You? Yeah, she can have it. I’m not willing to waste my life for your love.” Robbe tries to walk away, but Sander holds his hand, keeping him close.

“You know you don’t mean that. I’m yours and you’re mine.” Sander puts his other hand on Robbe’s chest, where he feels the scar he left months and months ago. Not as a threat, but as a reminder that nobody else has this, they’re different.

“Why are you still fucking her then?” Sander sighs loudly, stepping back, still holding Robbe by his fingertips.

“Because! Robbe, we’re so fucking young. Do you really want to spend 50, 60 years just with me? Not knowing anyone else? Not living your youth because you’re stuck with me? You’re even younger, needs to live your life, we’re gonna be together in the end, no matter what.”

Robbe snorts, stepping back, shaking his head. “This is so much bullshit! What kind of thought is that? I don’t want just the end, I want all of it.”

Sander tries to think about what to say, but he just stutters, trying to understand what kind of feeling Robbe brings out of him. He’s never seen Robbe like this, so serious and hurt, and because of him. He never felt like this before, Sander doesn’t even know what this is.

Robbe looks down and Sander’s anxiety starts to get the best of him, making his ears ring. “Is it true that you breeded her?”

“What? No! Of course not!” Robbe is instantly relieved, but not at all happy yet and Sander just wants them to be ok. “We had sex, Robbe, that was it. I used a condom, I’m not that dumb.”

Robbe quietly pulls his hand away, walking to his kitchen in silence.

They’ve been playing this game of push and pull for too long, over a year and they went through some crazy times. Sander’s life changed a lot because of Robbe and their relationship. Anyone before and after Robbe was just fun, just a way to put his energy out, Senne went from a threat to his closest friend, knowing too much about Sander’s feelings for Robbe because, apparently, their smells are constantly mixed nowadays.

Only when he gets to the kitchen that he smells the pasta that Robbe was making, putting spices and cheese inside the pan, stirring a little too quickly. Sander walks carefully to him, resting his forehead against the back of Robbe’s head, pressing his nose against the nape of his neck.

“I’m sorry again. Always.” He whispers, trying to calm his breaths, closing his eyes and just enjoying being this close to Robbe, smelling his every emotion, even the bad ones. Sander will gladly accept all of them.

“I’m tired of your excuses.”

“I know.” Sander thinks that he can’t risk this, to hurt Robbe so much he gives up eventually. “Do you want me to stop? I won’t kiss anyone else, have sex with anyone else but you.”

Robbe stops stirring his pasta, looking over his shoulder after a second. Sander knows he’s offering a promise that’s hard for him to keep, but he’s more than willing to try if that makes Robbe happy.

“Would you?” He raises his eyebrows, turning his body slowly to face Sander, making him step back, already rethinking his words. “Not even flirting with people?”

Sander huffs a laughter, looking into Robbe’s eyes. “If that’s what you want, yes.”

Robbe’s excitement fades away a little bit and he sighs, shaking his head. “It’s not me who needs to want this, Sander.”

Sander steps back, not knowing what else to say or do to make Robbe believe him. “Fuck, Robbe…I know! Just give me something to work with.”

He thinks for a second, meeting Sander’s eyes again as he answers, “Yes. I want that.”

“So consider it done.” Robbe raises his eyebrows, his cheeks slowly turning a soft pink, his inside getting warmer, softer and Sander laughs, quietly coming closer again. Robbe and his feelings have just that much power over him. “Now, we can forget about the rest of the world and maybe eat something?”

[nxtritething]

TASK001 : MUN QUESTIONNAIRE 

name  /  alias : caro / care / carebear gender  /  pronouns : female / she&her where  ya  from  ? : u s of a .  orig n y c. the  current  time :  9 pm ( when i started? ) , 1 pm ( when i finished ) job  or  major :  i majored in mechanical engineering and math. no, i canno favorite  thing  (  s  )  about  yourself :  i have some good one-liners.

why  you  joined  hqclouds :  ... i helped make it. also its felt like a long while since i got to play some of my favorite babes, and i just missed them, so i obviously had to jump at an opportunity to bring them back !!!

meaning  behind  url :  it’s uh...... next right thing ,  as in anna’s big song in frozen 2. and i just felt it like, FIT. 

last  thing  you  googled :  zac efron high school musical gif icons, bc i wanted to use for this, but then that account was flagged as adult content and i guess those beloved gifs are lost to the void now...

zodiac :  pisces in  your  opinion  ,  does  your  sign  suit  you  ? : yes. i am a crying fish. also i’m a pisces venus. it makes a LOT of sense. myers  -  briggs :  istj ??? i think?? moral  alignment :  i can be chaotic good, but mostly neutral neutral i think hogwarts  house : i used to be a slytherin, now i’m a hufflepuff. idk what happened to me.

three  fictional  character  (  s  )  you  see  yourself  in  +  why :  uhhhh... 1) bubbles from powerpuff girls. because i am baby. 2) juliet o’hara from psych. i’ve just been rewatching a lot of psych and i love how she’s such a serious yet funny / soft and idk why i just relate to that. 3) john mulaney in mulaney. because this is a cop-out to say i relate to anything / everything john edmund mulaney every does.

i  started  roleplaying : i first started on some fourms ??? on an app on my itouch ??? but my first tumblr rp group was percy jackson and everyone though i was this all knowing pjo fan... when really i was just fast to look shit up on the wikia. i had never read a single page of the series. types  of  rps  i  enjoy :  fandoms, typically ! i used to be exclusively love animated roleplays? like cartoons? but then i transitioned to musicals? like, exclusively playing musical characters??? at this point, tara is like the one exception nowadays... favorite  fcs  to  use :  um... olivia holt is a recent fave? joshua basset, also. my old faves are mary kate wiles and hunter parrish tho. real old. otherwise, i don’t know if i’d say i get attached to fc’s? fandom  (  s  )  you’d  like  to  write  in : i kinda wanna go back to some of my cartoon roots, maybe? i really haven’t deviated from the same 8 - 9 mostly musical characters in literally years...  fandom  (  s  )  you  aren’t  in  but  are  curious  about :  um... the raven cycle ,  miraculous ladybug  , uh..... everything else. i’m so randomly interested in everything.

share  a  funny  roleplay  horror  story :  my favorite is when i was in a youtuber rpf / oc rp, and this girl... made an oc... and made the fc... herself. she made a literal self-insert oc. with herself as the face. like low-res gifs of herself. why, you ask? i think she was trying to ship herself with dan howell. that didn’t age well, did it?

favorite  canon  muse  (  s  )  to  play : do i just list all the characters i’ve been playing for literal years? my recent faves are katherine plumber from newsies and princess anna. favorite  original  muse  (  s  )  to  play : i had a hunter parrish oc. he was in both the pjo and youtube rp. he was obsessed with hanging out with trees and pranks. don’t ask me why. canon  ships  you  can’t  help  but  love :  kristoff / anna , jack kelly / katherine plumber , jake peralta / amy santiago , orpheus / eurydice , && donny novitski / julia trojan. yes, most of these are musicals. who doesn’t love a good love ballad? trope  (  s  )  you  tend  to  be  guilty  of : uhh... adorkable, one of the boys, badass adorable

i  prefer  .  .  . angst  ,  smut  ,  or  fluff :  i am a massive sucker for fluff, but i’m so guilty of angst... i love pain. i don’t really do smut tho. sorry. long  or  short  replies :  i generally prefer short replies, unless we’ve somehow developed a thread into something long. or i’m feeling particularly inspired. pre  plotting  or  chemistry : i love chemistry with all my heart, but sometimes it’s fun to plot past connections that can reignite? idk. mostly chemistry sentence  starters  or  headcanon  memes : headcanon memes, because im never creative to turn a sentence starter into something that makes sense, esp between two characters who don’t know each other. single  muse  or  multimuse  blogs :  multimuse, because i spent too many years reblogging replies to the wrong sideblog and those days are over !!! gif  icons  ,  medium  gifs  ,  or  static  icons : i prefer gif icons for shorter replies and medium gifs for longer ones... or whatever my partner is using. i like some sort of consistency.

grab  the  book  nearest  to  you  and  pull  a  quote  from  it : ‘ what’s the rush? ’ repeat this phase when you’re feeling overwhelmed or stressed out. ask yourself whether somethings really needs doing immediately. are you ignoring your needs in order to do it?  - the little book of sloth philosophy. 

what’s  a  quote  or  song  lyric  that  speaks  to  your  soul  ? : “ did you fall? or did you let go? ”  -  connor murphy to evan hansen, dear evan hansen. ( idk why this immediately jump to mind but... )

top  current  celebrity  crushes :  jeremy jordan, corey cott, jordan fisher, claire saffitz, brian david gilbert. last  movie  you  watched :  bridal boot camp did  you  like  it  ? :  yes. i loved it. it’s absolute garbage and i loved it. favorite  movie  (  s  )    of  all  time : idk but i can always rewatch prince of egypt. godspell favorite  tv  show  (  s  )  of  all  time : uhh.... i keep rewatching psych.   favorite  tv  show  (  s  ) that  hasn’t  ended : brooklyn nine-nine, zoey’s extraordinary playlist. sports  team  (  s  )  you  rep : uh... grew up in a yankee / mets household. favorite  video  game  (  s  ) : pokemon, animal crossing  favorite  youtube  channels : drew gooden, danny gonzalez, jenna marbles.

put  your  music  on  shuffle.  what  six  songs  pop  up  ? :

greased lightin’ from grease live ; oh mother by hunter parrish ; nerds by bo burnham ; a miracle would happen / when you come home to me from the last five years ; just another day from next to normal ; who tells your story from hamilton mixtape. 

i haven’t listened to any of these in forever, but i am still, indeed, musical theater trash.

personal  aesthetic : demin overalls, scrunchies, the color teal, big stuffed animals. dream  vacation  ? : somewhere beautiful with people i love. dream  job  ? : perhaps like designing custom 3D prosthetics dream  car  ? :  i hate driving, but a big ol’ truck. like suv. big one. favorite  musical : gospell, dear evan hansen, bandstand, newsies, shrek the musical, mamma mia, i could go on... unwatched  stuff  in  your  netflix  /  hulu  /  etc :  sailor moon crystal, crash landing on you, locke & key, all the bright places, the half of it, younger, meteor, hello my twenties ...

what’s  a  subject  you  know  too  much  about  +  never  get  tired  of  talking  about  ? : musicals. so many musicals. i know both know too much and not enough.

[nancywrote]

kindergarten creep

so basically billy’s obsessed w/ steve in this one and vbdhsfgvk Yeah im sorry !

tw/s: suicide, murder, typical creepy stalker stuff :/

Steve’s got a sweet smile.

Pretty pearly, straight teeth and pink lips that look no less plump stretched than they are relaxed. It drives Billy’s stomach into knots. His heart does twirls, twists, everything inbetween.

And Steve has soft, long brown hair.

Not too dark, just the right shade of chocolate like his big doe eyes-- flawless and styled in every gorgeous imaginable way.

But he’s so honest, despite how he gels his hair and puts on a fake charming smile around women.

Billy hates seeing Steve grin at ladies, hates how he styles his hair for them and not him.

But he’s so sweet, so tasty and wrapped up all pretty with a sugar coating. Billy’s thrust into a whole ‘nother reality around Steve, just so caught up in the cherry drops of his lips and the honey pools of his eyes.

Steve’s just so pretty and handsome and charming and Billy’s a snake.

So when Billy hears that Steve’s with Nancy now, he grinds his teeth and clenches his jaw and bites his tongue until he tastes blood, smiles tight-lipped at his best friend’s dreamy talks about his newly acquired girlfriend.

The copper’s a delicacy, it runs down his throat so warm and stains his teeth with reminders. But it’s not a lot of blood.

Just a drop.

A lovely little cherry drop.

But Steve’s so happy and giddy and smiley.

Billy used to be the one who made him laugh like that.

And then after that day, all he sees is Steve and Nancy together, inseparable. Like they used to be. It makes him want to grind his teeth into dust.

His fingers twitch anytime Nancy touches Steve, his eyes harden into icicles when Nancy’s looking their way and his body feels all too tense when Nancy’s near.

He wants to touch Steve, he doesn’t want Nancy to look at Steve, and he doesn’t want her near Steve.

Things will never be the same.

So when he sees Nancy and Jonathan walking together after school, far too close for comfort, he all but closes in on this opportunity. A simple snap of the camera.

Once Nancy’s alone later in the week, he corners her and shows the photo. It’s not enough to be considered romantic, but it’s enough for Nancy to feel scared because everybody’s scared of Billy because he’s a snake.

And then the days after that, Nancy doesn’t touch Steve, look at Steve, or go near Steve. And Billy is far too pleased, because Steve’s lovely lithe body is crying into his arms later on while intoxicated and Billy gets to hold him so close and so tight knowing Nancy’s no longer in the picture anymore.

But apparently the photos weren’t enough, because Nancy’s back less than a month later with a half assed apology and a shitty excuse. Clearly, Steve’s angry.

But Steve still goes on a date with her.

And Billy, like the snake he is, like a kindergartener, like a fucking kid, gets Tommy H. and Carol and the other kids and breaks into Nancy’s locker. And they put up photos of her half-naked getting changed, pictures of her and Jonathan during her and Steve’s “break”, spread the rest of the pictures all around school. Spray paint truthful and harsh words all over the walls and lockers.

And it’s back to heartbroken Steve, back to Billy’s Steve.

Nobody questions where the photos came from, all they do is laugh at Wheeler while Billy gets to hold Steve close to him in front of them without a care in the world.

But Steve’s stopped smiling like he used to.

It’s all charms and witty comments and fake grins. It’s all King Steve.

But it isn’t Billy’s Steve.

To Billy, that doesn’t matter anymore though. Because now all Steve knows to do is grin at him like he does with women, and Billy’s heart still flips with the sight of it. Even knowing it’s fake, even though some small crushed part of him fills with anger and pity at not being given the right attention, he still gets weak in the knees.

All Steve knows how to do now is stick close to Billy and stay silent around women, because they’ll all hurt him. When he nearly got with someone else after Nancy, Billy made sure to expose that slut for the whore she was.

Even if it wasn’t real. Even if it was just Tommy H. spreading lies because Billy asked him to.

Steve believed it, the girl couldn’t counter it, and Steve was his again.

All Steve knows is to get away from women and stay with Billy. Because Billy’s never done him dirty, Billy’s never lied to him or done him wrong. Billy’s the safest and best bet.

Billy’s his best friend.

And even without the honesty, even with the distance, Billy makes sure Steve’s always close to him, always hanging out with him, always with him.

Because Billy loves making him laugh, loves hearing him giggle at something stupid, loves it when he sees Steve walking towards his car after school, and his stomach’s all twisted when Steve’s crying and hugging him some nights.

Everything Steve does just makes his heart beat faster.

No matter how unreal it is now. How fake it all is.

Steve has no reason to leave Billy.

And Billy wants to tell him how he feels, because they hug much more now, they always hang out, they’re always talking (even if it’s really just Billy) and Billy’s feelings have only gotten more sugary and sweet as the weeks pass.

The party’s the day, Steve’s birthday party, that’s the day Billy will tell him. Because there’s no way it’s not meant to be.

And Steve’s all smiley and genuine on his birthday when the kids are there and some of their school friends are there, Steve’s all daisies and dandelions and peaches when Billy comes over with a neatly-wrapped gift consisting of hair gels and necklaces that Billy just knows the brunette will wear without hesitation afterwards.

Steve’s all cute and pretty and honestly happy again on his birthday.

And Billy feels disgusting.

Disgusting, because he took that smile off Steve’s face the same way he used to put it on him. Disgusting because Steve’s happiest on the day he’s surrounded by such a small amount of people because he’s learned to rely on kids and Billy and nobody at their actual school all because of him. Disgusting, revolted, and appalled because he’s the one who’s done this to Steve. He’s the one who fucked him up.

But then Nancy’s there and he completely forgets why he felt disgusting to begin with.

All he tastes is sugar, too much sugar, and cherry drops. He’s biting on his tongue again.

Steve is the sunshine, bright and golden and loving and warm and bringing light into Billy’s world. Being the reminder of his past life in Cali. The beacon of hope that keeps his skin tan, keeps him healthy. Reminds him he’s not different, he’s the same as he always was.

And Steve’s not there when Nancy steps into the living room, and everyone treats her kindly but Billy still tastes sugar and copper and doesn’t see the sun.

Nancy looks at him bitterly, he looks at her coldly, and they rotate around each other on different planets.

It’s all too dark when Nancy’s left to find Steve. And it’s all too perfect when Billy knows Steve’s not where she’s going.

Cherry drops, and then strawberry juice far too red for its own good. Like melted chocolate, puddled beneath her head. That’s what he envisions.

Not what he gets, though.

Because then Nancy’s on the ground after her mouth’s stuffed full of pills in the bathroom, wrists bleeding and pictures placed so perfectly accidentally by her pockets spilled along the tiles.

It’s all so perfect, because Tommy’s at the party and Tommy loves lying for Billy.

And Steve’s all his again, because now he really has nobody to love but Billy.

Because the camera’s placed so perfectly accidentally on Steve’s desk that afterwards, everybody avoids him and every girl gets scared of him.

But not Billy.

So of course, when Billy says he loves him, Steve cries and lies through his teeth and says he loves him too.

But Billy pretends it’s happy tears, and kisses them away. Even with his tense muscles and scared rambles when they make love later on, Billy knows how to make it feel good. Nobody else would love him the same.

Steve’s not broken, he reassures himself.

It’s all Nancy’s fault.

Billy’s a disaster around Steve, always so flustered even if Steve’s stopped smiling. Because when he asks, he smiles. Tight lipped and clenched jaw and everything.

It’s not good enough.

It’s all Nancy’s fault.

Billy’s weak in the knees and completely vulnerable and bare with Steve, lets himself get used even if he’s the one begging Steve to use him. Even if he’s the one who gets the most out of it nowadays.

It’s all stupid, but he’s addicted, his brain doesn’t work when he gets to cuddle with his soulmate and when his dad’s finally gone from a little car accident with a malfunctioning engine, Billy’s completely free and ready to wake up to Steve’s gorgeous face every day.

The whole thing went further than he originally planned. But that’s not his fault, it’s Nancy’s.

But it all crashes down, and his dark bruises from his father’s past treatments are all the more prominent when he walks into Steve’s room to find a husk of a man with a crushed windpipe from the pressure of a rope.

It’s all Nancy’s fault.

It’s all Nancy’s fault.

It’s all Nancy’s fault.

When he bites his tongue, he realizes he’s got his lips on the cold chapped ones of Steve’s and tastes far more cherry drops than he should. Is he the snake? Is he the venom?

It’s all his fault.