#ihatemyex

[b4n3n4]

I've vented a bit on a public server, I shouldn't have done that, but ill vent here, this is not in any shape, or form praise to my awful ex crushes, I hope those 3 actually get tortured for Infinity in hell, especially you, you know who you are, and I know you still stalk this page.

Sometimes i miss when i was at my "lowest" objectively I guess, mentally I felt happier somehow, kind of go lucky feeling, if nothing matters nothing can hurt you, I've never talked about the boys I've liked before on this page, they were 3.

I can say my first crush was probably who made me this way, he was cold with everyone, rude, misogynistic and violent, that was the first boy I've ever liked at 12, he was different, never met anyone like him before, other seemed like cowards, unable to be authentically themselves, he introduced me to gore when I was 12, way before I even knew porn was a thing, I started to cut myself around that age, he would always ask me to see, to touch the cuts, I felt like he understood me, what I wanted to say or do he said and did, when I didn't like someone I would keep it to myself, but he would be as ruthless as he wanted, pure neutrality, I fell in love quickly, would spend whole classes looking at him, how smart he was, how charismatic, well now I can see he was just a sociopath literally but at the time he was like God to me, ill never forget his smirks when I would show him my cuts or the big smile I gave him when he fell down while playing fight with a friend and made a huge scratch in his whole stomach, showing me it proudly.

i spent a year madly in love with him and lost about 14 kgs although I couldn't diet at home, I would just start to purge my food at home and fast during school, one day I discovered that although we never dated he was using me as rebound, and somehow the love broke off that day, I had nightmares with him for about 5 years after

2 years later i met my irl ex, quiet kid in class that one day said some stupid misogynistic joke and I laughed and we bonded, showed me theync, would say I was disgusting for not being as good as him in class, basically an incel when I met him but that was the part I liked, once he started to become softer with me I lost interest quickly but we stayed together as I was waiting for him to change to his before self, we broke up because he would go through my messages, make me give my phone every time we were together etc, I hate insecure men, we were together for 4 years and during all those years I would have nightmares with the first boy.

WORST ONE SO FAR, so, as im a fucking loser and don't have friends I was searching for servers on 4chan and found one lmao, owner dms me saying he wants to kill me and he's the only dude I replied to in months, lies to me, never shows his face, uses me for my body, blackmails me, etc, but somehow because I was lonely and thought I was gonna km I let that slide for a year, also I liked how fucked up he was, then he turns too nonchalant and soft for my liking, teenage girl kinda texts and I ask to break up, we fought ALOT before also, I seriously he khs because every day I find out more lies, like sending fake plushie pic (saying he got them for me) then finding those pics in a 2016 website, ALSO said he sent fake pics the first time but then that they were real the second time (gaslight and lies because they weren't) calling me insane and obsessive for not believing him, erm okay, hope you die

WELL long rant but yes during those 3 boys I relapsed, in self-harm and gore, and also lost weight with every one of them, my boyfriend who is the sweetest kindest soul on earth, and although I thought I would be interested in him at the beginning because of his scary appearance turns out I can love someone who treats me well, but sometimes I wish I was as strong as before, I feel like nowadays everything is too easy on me and I've become too soft, its been like 3 weeks without cutting and I miss it often, I miss feeling so grossed out by everyone I would hide myself in the bathroom watching gore, I miss not caring for tomorrow or what happens to me since I knew I was going to die soon, I miss it, why am I so soft nowadays, I'm supposed to feel happy I am "getting better" but feels like my destructive mindset before actually made me happier

[victorsbrains]

HE'S THE TEAR THAT HANGS. INSIDE. MY. SOUL. FOREVER.

[missshipman]

kms my ex found my twitter and is now currently following me…

[migueloharaswifey101]

hes the reason while i refuse to get w anyone else now🧍‍♀️

[schemagrl]

#ihatemyex

[anaasscap]

im all for being a femcell, but at least 57% of the reason im losing weight is for #1, my ex, and #2, my crush or whateva. the rest is probably because i dont have emotionally available parents

[suburbanvelvetsky]

Pandemic matched my mood

[0utkastluv3r04]

Dear recent ex,

pls fuck off and stick to your word

kisses from jay 🖕🏾

[fernandezzs-blog]

loucura é achar essa merda normal.

[cherrys-paradise]

When you're dressed to kill 🔪

[troubledontlast1]

#breakups #heartache #letgo Just because you want it doesn’t mean it’s for you. Letting go doesn’t always equate to losing. #repost @kaykay2509 If you’re afraid to be hurt again, then you’re afraid to be loved again. Don’t let hearts that didn’t love you, keep you from the one that will. #moveon #lifegoeson You don’t let go of a bad relationship because you stop caring about them. You let go because you start caring about yourself. #lettinggo #youdidntlose When you’re a good person, you don’t lose people. They lose you! #heartbreaks It wasn’t mine so I let it go. #afraidtoloveagain ONE DAY THEY’LL REALIZE THEY LOST A DIAMOND WHILE PLAYING WITH WORTHLESS STONES. #thehurt #thepain Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving. #notloved Don’t allow someone not worth it to have the power to occupy your thoughts. If they don’t find you worth the effort or the time, why should you waste yours? #bitterness #hatred Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have-life itself. #anger #ihatemyex If you love something so much let it go. If it comes back it was meant to be; if it doesn’t it never was. #ihatemyexgf The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving the present. #ihateyou #resentment It’s not a matter of letting go-you would if you could. Instead of “Let it go” we should probably say “Let it be”. #badrelationships #letitgo When we’re incomplete, we’re always searching for somebody to complete us. When, after a few years or a few months of a relationship, we fund that we’re still unfulfilled, we blame our partners and take up with somebody more promising. This can go on and on-series polygamy-until we admit that while a partner can add sweet dimensions to our lives, we each of us, are responsible for our own fulfillment. Nobody else can provide it for us, and to believe otherwise is to delude ourselves dangerously and to program for eventual failure every relationship we enter. #letgoofit (at Mount Juliet, Tennessee) https://www.instagram.com/p/BvOegKql5CG/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=bofsse8tnh4m

[hawkeye2006-blog1]

#iloveny #operationpersonalfreedom #liveandletlive #ihatemyex #becauseitsmylife #italianpride🇮🇹🙏🏻 #newyorkgiants Happy Thursday

[katielynnlove-1998-blog]

#nevergiveup #weightloss #loseweight #beyourself #believeinyourself #exhater #ihatemyex #arrrggg #whatshouldido #i dontknow #idk #uggg #whatwouldyoudo (at Mequon, Wisconsin)

[markloneartwork]

That time I was too broke for a cup of coffee ☕️ #inkedart #coffee #markloneart #ihatemyex #hopeshegetshitbyabus #happyvalentinesday

[askthetosarsonist-blog]

IHATEMYEXE, RP STARTER -- A keen sense of smell seems good, but only in theory. The strong smell of ashes assaulted his nostrils as soon as he turned the corner and he scrunched up his nose in distate, his eyes surveying the scene for the origin. It wasn't long before he spotted an unassuming young man, pale and blue-eyed. Curiosity soon replaced the grimace on Lucas's face. He had never seen the man before.

Dio seems to be staring at another building, it seems burnt down, as he sighs muttering to himself.. “What is wrong with me.”