#hes so old and experienced
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everyone, he's a girl dad. (check the tags for extra yapping)
i struggled so much with this sketch but i NEEDED to draw ra’s and baby talia
#hes so beautiful i love him so much#I'd smash so hard#okay leaving that aside lemme yap#and yall better be reading all of my rambles#hes THE girl dad#i will ignore shitty writing for my own sanity#i doubt this man is a dad just because#everything he does is pre-planned#including this#and not because he wanted to continue his lineage and have a heir#he wanted something to love#i doubt he's kept Talia around him for so long to force her to become like him#instead he offered her the tools and knowledge to forge her own path#thats why i hate this idea that Talia is not Ras heir because shes a WOMAN#thats so fucking stupid#like cmon#hes so old and experienced#he surely has seen many women during his lifetime#worthy skilled women better than any#he knows better than anyone not to judge a warrior by their size looks or gender#but what he also seen during his lifetime is the rift family legacy's create in-between family#he doesn't want that for his family and loved ones#maybe thats why he wanted bruce to marry talia so bad#not only that hes an intelligent and worthy man#but also because if he hands the league over to Bruce it also would be Talia's#okay this is enough#just listen to me#this is his baby girl and i doubt he has ever looked at her with any less love adoration and respect simply because of her gender#theres no possession or underestimation in his gaze#thats his daughter
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I think I’d be really funny, if Bruce was a reincarnated Vlad.
This is going to be based off of a prompt I saw (I will find you) where Bruce suddenly remembered his past life as Vlad.
HOWEVER, my take on that is the de-aged Ellie and Dan because the amount of ANGST and self hate that Bruce will go through thinking his past self was not only a villain, but also that sort of person?
It will eat him alive.
It will eat that man alive every time he goes to sleep and another burst of memories pass underneath his eyelids.
It burns him when he wakes up with the phantom touch of a body underneath his hands, of a boy just as young as Damian and thinner too, struggling to escape a grip of a man whose hold was too possessive, and too cruel.
It feels like acid swishing down his throat when he wakes with the taste of oily words filled with threat and something more whispered over the form of a boy. A young boy whose blue eyes blazed furiously back and yet tried to hide the quiet bursts of fear underneath.
It feels like Bruce cannot scrub the man he had been right out of him, even when his skin blisters red until it bleeds. Vladimir Masters had woken spitting and screaming, burrowed like a cold sore underneath everything that is Bruce.
Bruce hates it.
Hates the monster he had once been and still is — because despite the fact Vlad is now Bruce, living and breathing and existing here in Gotham — Vladimir Masters still exists.
He is out there right now in a little place called Amity Park, pulling weight and blood just to get what he wants.
A man who has used and abused for far too long…
Perhaps it was time to see to it, that however and whatever way that Bruce came to be, that it began with Vlad’s unfortunate circumstances back into the Ghost Zone.
#dpxdc#dp x dc#dc x dp#danny phantom#dcxdp#danny fenton#dp x dc crossover#batman#dp x dc prompt#Vlad is Bruce#but Bruce is not Vlad#he is really disgusted by his old self#he is experiencing trauma by association of his past self being a little creep#Bruce often wakes up feeling wrong in his skin and wanting to throw up#Vlad please stop causing misunderstandings even to yourself#bruce is a good dad#Bruce is very willing to set up the domino pieces for Vlad to kick the bucket#so long as he isn’t aware of how that bucket is set#Bruce might be going slightly off the deep end because of how many memories keep coming up#and it’s ALWAYS about Danny#Vlad has a way with words#and it’s like#bad#he is dumb your honor#a villain and an idiot
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Fernando Alonso backs Lance Stroll to ‘change the opinion of many people’
Alonso believes the condemnation has been unwarranted as he declared that Stroll has been unfortunate to be riddled with uncompetitive cars in his career.
He explains his relationship with Lance:
Full article here
#he supports that boy so fucking much#a two time champ that’s been through it all and has experienced shit cars most of his career#him backing up lance every single second cause he knows the feeling of getting shit on cause the car is underperforming#lance being different from his past teammates and willing to put the team first instead of prioritizing fighting with him#knowing this is the last leg of his career#instead of being selfish like the nando of old…#he teaches lance everything he knows and treats him with genuine respect#i love them so much#fernando alonso#lance stroll#strollonso#aston martin f1
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i know in retellings draco always befriends hermione because he's a nerd or whatever but this morning i was thinking of a retelling where draco befriends ron because he literally just bribes him. like he sees that harry won't bother with him and lbr no one wanted to be friends with first year hermione but ron seems like he'd be easily bought and draco's dad told him those are the easiest people to get on your side. and also wouldn't it be fun to steal away harry potter's anointed best friend?
so he's like "i'm willing to forget you laughed at my name on the train" and literally just buys ron things until he stops being indignant. he buys him a new wardrobe. endless sweets and toys. he writes to his mother like "hello i'm working on something here can u help" and narcissa is immediately on board.
and ron totally is easily bought. he really is. he pretends to still hate draco but also his mother taught him some manners so it's only polite to accept the little git's gifts. his siblings are sick with jealousy, it's great.
and slowly ron's like "maybe he's not so bad" and progresses to "yes he's weird but i've gotten him to stop with the slurs so" to actual friendship that harry and hermione eventually come around to, too.
#harry potter#ron weasley#draco malfoy#drarry#because teenage ron dealing with his best friends dating?? impeccable#also it's crucial that this happens in first year before ron is old enough to prioritize pride over getting cool stuff lol#harry (who's experienced spoiled dudley his whole life): but can't you see he's just trying to buy your friendship!!#ron: well yes but no one ever buys me anything so 🤷🏼♀️#this is a horrible friendship origin btw i get that the hermione nerd one is nicer but#it's also hilarious#just thinking thoughts on a star splitter friday ✨#headcanons
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for something as trivial and simple those feelings sure are hard to get rid of
also made a gif a version for fun + alt version with no tears under the cut
the gif is in very low resolution...this is a feature (i could make it bigger but that would require saving each frame individually and than glueing it all together. also i feel like low resolution suits it better. aesthetically and fits the mood)
#hs#homestuck#dirk strider#eye strain#probably? if you think i should tag something else let me know!!#anyway hooray its time for rambling in the tags#so uhhh heres the teæ i've been sick for like a week and you know how it is when suddenly your throat becomes the main gunk warehouse#and you can't breathe lol. wish i could just pull it out. anywaaayy this is basically a vent piece for me being sick lol#also i could draw remotively the same thing with kris deltarune. oh how easy it is to project having a cold#though i have been also experiencing troubles with feelings recently as well....how fitting for dirk#speaking of the man himself (enough of me) his relationship with his own Heart...is peculiar to say the least#the thing i love about alphakids is that despite being so feral they were. so relatable. i cannot stress this enough how unwell they are an#and how they represented being a teen so well. yeah being 15 years old makes that to you#imagine being an emotional mess and trying to fit the 'norm' and act normal about your friends so youre not offputting#and then you fall in love with you friend and your ai clone falls in love with him too looool noone makes out of this one alive#uhh literally. godtiering stuff and dying remember#and speaking of it. tw for suicidal talk for the rest of tags#do you ever think dirk was suicidal. of course the part of when he teleports his head to jake was totally planned and he knew he would ->#wake up as dreamself but. don't you think the moment he cut his head off was sort of. cathartic. how much did he hate his own guts#beheading himself not only for the plan...but also because he thought he 'deserved' it#also wow he is a Prince and was literally beheaded don't you think its funny hahaa#sigh poor thing#this has ended on a not the very pleasant note hm#also fckkkkkk i didn't draw anything with rose/mary for the lesbian visabilty week#(putting the slash because tumblr search system has a dumb gag with showing you posts that contain the tag inside the other tag.#and i don't want this post to show up for the ros/mary fans because it's not!!!! its rose's father emotional crisis post!!!!)#update YOOOO WHAT THE HELL THE GIF HAS EVEN LESS PIXELS THEN I PLANNED fantastic#this your breakfast now tumblr. enjoy your crunchy flakes of dirks meltdown. mwah
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Is there a way to turn “The Key”/(Mike) off? Sure yeah… just hang up the phone when he keeps trying to call. He will get the message.
Now, who else thinks it may not actually be just Joyce's telemarketing job to blame here? Maybe just maybe it's due to the boy who's adamant about closing the gate and not falling in love? The one who is still "healing" from the last time "the gate" opened?
Subconsciously though, of course.
Because he's scared.
#when your old theory resurfaces when you accidentally find more evidence#so um yeah.#Will's internalized homophobia is worse than Mikes... likely much worse due to the trauma he's experienced#and it is a definite possibility that he has been literally pushing Mike away#byler#stranger things#stranger things theory
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5 Mar '24 // Players react to Lindy's departure
"Obviously disappointing because, when the coach gets fired, it comes down to the players... Just shows we haven't done our job up to this point... When [Ruff] came in, I was just a young guy, you know? He just let me be myself and play my game, and develop at my own pace. And now I'm at where I'm at."
#take a sip babe#there were so many 'hello darkness my old friend' moments in this interview#he was experiencing the horrors multiple times#jack hughes#2023-24 season#my gifs#new jersey devils#nhl#hockey#nj devils
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silkyface grubs... im not immune to drawing a pile of very cute n pitiful grumplings
#it's mentioned that Avriette had other siblings so here they are :] happy and healthy and have not experienced any form of tragedy. yet.#their dad is also there! dont have a first name in mind cause he isn't gonna be brought up ever#but his last name is Prettyface :] avri could've been called Avriette Prettymask#these babies are a couple of weeks old so they aren't in that Ugly Baby Bird stage anymore </3 that is the best stage of grumpling tho#bug game#TofS#edit: thought for 2 seconds and his name is Jaches now i've decided. like Jacques
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unfortunately thinking hard abt how Bruce meets duke at three vastly different times in his life and how he watched the innocence and cheer leave him as he got older and more jaded only for his spirit to blaze with hope when he matures into the signal
#ITS LIKE#dukes convinced hes an entirely different kid#he goes from a clever determined baby know it all to a jaded but hopeful 14ish year old to a rough edged thick skinned tunnel visioned 16#year old in WAR but like bruce meets well remeets duke post war and who he meets is an amalgamation of all 3 but dukes convinced that kid i#gone died the night gotham experienced that joker attack and hes sure hes so different theres no way his parents could be proud#but BUT!!! Bruce sees that same 7 year old he met erasing and rewriting riddles bcs hes convinced hes the one who will save gotham from the#riddler bcs SOMEONE has to and it mightas well be him and youre only crazy if it doesn't work right?#help..HELP ME#MEDIC MEDIC#the signal#thought bubbles#duke thomas#bruce wayne#batman
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Maybe I'll make a post on this at some point but like, something deeply fucked up about TNP and Po3 that people have totally forgotten about is how badly they try to whine that "Tigerstar Had Good Traits :("
Firestar does it, Brambleclaw does it, and they keep doing this after it becomes this GRAND irony that Firestar almost gets Tiger'd to death in a fox trap because he was too trusting. Bramble gets his pity award of keeping deputyship and then cries to his son about how No One Saw The Good In Tigerstar :(
And it's wiiiiild that no one else in this fandom has done anything with the fact that Leopardstar broke the Warrior Code to appoint Hawkfrost, who had no apprentice, an extremely aggressive and warmongering Tigerclone who says things like "Tigerstar wasn't the worst cat to look up to." ONLY qualifying trait was being kinda like Tigerstar.
And she practically did that the SECOND Mistyfoot went missing. And then Leopardstar continued to be one of the most violent and xenophobic leaders through Po3, joining with WindClan to attack ThunderClan.
What I'm getting at is that like, a few years ago, with books like "Blackfoot's Reckoning" and "Shadow in RiverClan" it's like they suddenly decided to retcon in a bunch of "redemption arcs" in hindsight. They just pretended like there was this grand high reckoning with TigerClan, when there literally wasn't, and if anything that caused SERIOUS problems for the cast that the authors didn't fully acknowledge as such.
And now ppl haven't actually read the main series and are just working with their recent memory of all these retcon books.
But TNP and PO3 are still there, and you can go and see the ACTUAL timeline where Leopardstar is really not apologetic at all, and Blackstar is a useful stooge for the very next wannabe dictator that strolls in, in spite of the new side content that COMPLETELY mischaracterized them for their plots to work.
#I just wish people could be more critical of this#And im not entirely anti-retcon. Mind you#But I am here because i think these retcons make them WORSE characters. It's BAD for a character to GET a book with a redemption arc and--#Then they don't change at all and act like totally different people later in the timeline#And Leopardstar is the worse one between her and Blackstar BECAUSE she has sooo many active choices here#Im confident in my choice for BB the more I think about it. Leopardstar's dismantling of the bonehill was good#But it works better as a tragedy imo with the rest of the series in mind#That for a brief moment. A fleeting whim. She could have changed.#But she never did.#And Blackstar who was FAR less repentant at the time DID eventually turn around.#At the end of the day one of them appointed Hawkfrost as codebreaking deputy.#And the other did not.#And I think it's fucking bullshit the way that Leopardstar's retcondemption implies that Hawkfrost was just so tricky he mislead her#The old and experienced leader who had been fooled by a tiger before and was soso sorry for it. Just got tricked.#Like fuck off. She never had a redemption. Stop trying to tell me she did 15 years later#She's a girlboss who empires too close to the sun in pursuit of power and drags everyone down with her#Not a sad weepy smolbean#Bone babble#Warrior cats analysis
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okay ill bite why do u hate kaoru sakuraba sidem aside from the fact that they went from hokuto as a main blue to downgrade to kaoru. to make it less awkward that I’m asking abt sidem on ur osomatsu side blog, what sidem idols would u assign to each matsu ?
i think sideM should collab w osomatsu-san and put them all in Beit so they can all get JOBS!!!!!!
anyways i hate kaoru from idolmaster sideM. i need all my osomatsu-san side blog followers to know that i hate this man. "i need a lot of money fast to pursue an extremely niche medical research track, which is why i quit my stable and high paying job as a surgeon to become an idol while having no soft skills, physical strength or stamina, or interest in getting along with people" are you Stupid??
he's not even using his idol clout to spread awareness of the rare disease he's trying to cure (like SEM does) so it can secure funding, he sees it 100% as a job and refuses to have fun, he is actively unpleasant and uncooperative in every interaction with his coworkers because he's trying to "rise to the top". it seems like the only thing he has going for him are his looks and that he kind of liked to sing when he was a kid. why not become a model at that point when you have the personality of a wet tree trunk. or better yet why not STAY A FUCKING DOCTOR!!!!!
also, i don't like meganes, so write that down.
#context for oomfiematsus: idolmaster sideM's gimmick is that all the idols were other things before becoming idols#Beit is the unit whose gimmick is that all their members have part time jobs (baito)#others are like. lawyer -> idol; pilot -> idol; pianist -> idol; rakugoka -> idol; etc#finding out the backstories/previous lives of these idols is like the main appeal of this branch#a lot of times it's like trauma and stuff that causes them to switch careers. like there's a pair of twins who were former soccer pros#but one suffers a career-ending injury and it's sad. and theyre like well we were pretty good at PR and stuff though so let's be idols#(the other twin follows him because yknow twinsies <3 cant be apart)#and this guy is in the main unit so you meet him and he's just a fucking dick the whole time and he just seems to fucking hate being an ido#so the whole time youre like what's this guy's deal#(note i experienced this through the anime cuz all the games are EOS lol)#and then like 3/4ths into the anime in you finally get his backstory#and it's that his sister died of a very rare disease so he needs money to fund research to find the cure but no one will fund it#but instead of staying a doctor he decides the best way to do this is to BECOME AN IDOL?!!!?!?#like sure i bet the top idols do make more than an average surgeon? but it's like do you want a .01% chance to make a $2 million salary#or an 100% chance to make a $300k salary BECAUSE YOURE ALREADY A SURGEON!!!!#and it'd be another thing if he was like. kinda having fun with it. kinda being jovial#like there's literally another guy in the teacher unit who became an idol for the exact same reason (heard it was lucrative)#but then after he finds out being an idol actually isnt all that much cash#so he just decides to have fun being an idol instead!!!!#this guy NEVER GETS THERE. he's always a SERIOUS RUDE STICK IN THE MUD who is NEVER FUN TO BE AROUND BECAUSE HE'S LIKE#I'm Here For Work. I'm Here To Be The Best Idol. I Don't Want To Make Friends#LIKE GET REEEEEEEEEEEEEEAL DUDE YOUR COWORKERS ARE 10 YEAR OLDS IN ANIMAL COSTUMES AND 30 YEAR OLD MEN IN PINK TIGHTS.#anyways everyone likes him i guess he's supposed to be the “cold guy eventually opens his heart” kind of guy but he has always just come of#as very annoying to me. and also DUMB AS FUCK i cannot stress enough how STUPID OF A CAREER CHOICE THIS WAS#so i cant take him seriously when they try to play him up as this cool all-knowing guy when he's the STUPIDEST PERSON AT THIS COMPANY#INCLUDING THE 9 YEAR OLDS
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you all know that one vine. i couldn't stop thinking about it while doing this storyline (tobe clear sozo is my wife)
#cotl spoilers#cult of the lamb sins of the flesh#<- from what i'm understanding this whole scenario only just came out .in that dlc/update??thing#i did not know this. this is my first playthrough i'm experiencing it with everything else going on#and i've also completed his questline i know the. Secrets#honestly him being an old man the whole time is even better. fuck yeas. my old ant wife. My beautiful wife#sozo my beautiful wife <- i haven't stopped repeating this for DAYS i'm LOSING IT!!!!sorry#clamart#cotl#cult of the lamb#cotl lamb#cotl sozo#also 'why is sozo so tall' have u seen that old man ? he's lanky#sozo
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for the last time. Dick is 9-year-old angry and Jason is 12-year-old angry and Tim is 14-year-old angry and Steph is 17-year-old angry and Damian is pretentious rich kid angry. There is no single Angry Robin. we all know this to be true
#The Angry Robin??? that is. All Of Them#dick is the anger of a child without agency and jason is the anger of a voiceless adolescent and tim's the anger of the overwhelmed teenage#who can think of nothing else he can do to help#steph is the anger of the teenage girl who is never taken seriously and damian is the anger of the snobby brat#who has never yet been denied anything in his short snooty life /affectionate#and yes this all coincides with their ages as robin. sure.#but tbh i think they carry the same anger through them no matter how old they are#Jason as Red Hood is a 19-year-old experiencing a 12-year-old's anger and this is PRECISELY why it's so damaging to him#do you remember being 12????? no one listening to you????? if i had to be 12 again i think it could actually kill me#(arguably it did kill him)#meanwhile Nightwing is constantly stripped of his agency. constantly returning to that bewildering anger of suddenly realizing you have#so much less power than you thought you did. that's childhood rage babey#batfam#robins#oli rambles
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punk!soap metalhead!ghost brain blast!!!
ghost trying so hard to get soap out of the bad parts of the scene bc he's starting to get pulled in by the shadows, a group of wannabe anarchists that stand for nothing except themselves, but soap loses his shit; laying into ghost for daring to try and "save" him
no one's ever been there for him when he needed them; no one ever offered him support or a soft place to land, why the hell would he want ghost's help when he's perfectly fine on his own? (when he’s always had to be?)
"you think i can't make my own decisions? well fuck you, ghost, who needs a washed up piece o’ shite like you!"
he doesn’t talk to ghost for days, doesn’t let himself acknowledge the hole he’s left behind until he's getting pissed with the shadows one night in an abandoned house and graves starts waving around the gun he snuck through customs and it accidentally goes off, grazing soap's temple
he's never heard anything so loud, even at all the shows he’s attended and there’s so much blood; it's getting in his eyes, running down his neck and soaking into his clothes and he’s frozen. graves and all his shadows bolt after hearing the gunshot, worried about cops finding them and they leave him there; staring at the growing puddle at his feet
soap's panicking; half-blind, blistering pain lighting up his head and he can't think about anything beyond how much he wants ghost
ghost's been sulking at his flat since soap blew him off; pissed at soap for going off on him when he just wants to help but still worried about the punk. he doesn’t want him going down the same road as him; doesn’t want him to repeat his mistakes when he could save himself so much suffering and he almost doesn't answer his phone when it buzzes on the couch
he lets out a ragged sigh as he picks it up; raking a hand over his shaved head when he sees the bubble emoji and contemplates letting it ring out. contemplates answering with a growl; something a younger, crueler version of him would spit. in the end, he decides on silence and puts the phone to his ear just before it can stop ringing
he almost breaks it when he hears soap choke out, "i've been shot."
he's out the door in a heartbeat, running down the stairs because the lift is too slow; trying to get more information out of him but he can't get anything out beyond a repeated, "i've been shot."
he breaks every law there is as he speeds to soap's location; visions of his cold, bloodless corpse staining his mind's eye. the only thing keeping him calm are the strangled breaths from the other end of the line; he's not dead, he can work with not dead, this isn't tommy, soap won't end up like tommy-
ghost screeches to a halt outside a random alley and throws himself from the car when he sees soap collapsed against a garbage bin. he's covered in blood, soaked, just like that night, it's everywhere and he's not moving, he's not moving-
“johnny!”
he skids to his knees and fits his hand under his chin to check his pulse… but his heart beats strong under his fingertips and soap's eyes flutter open; flooded with blood but conscious and alive
the second he registers ghost in front of him, he’s reaching out for him; babbling apologies over and over, "you were right, i'm sorry ghost, i should've listened; i'm sorry, i'm so sorry."
ghost just gently hushes him, cupping his face heedless of the blood. "that doesn't matter now, johnny. we're gonna get you all fixed up, yeah?"
soap’s hands fist in his shirt, clinging to him. "i got shot, ghost," he says again; lost and smaller than he's ever heard from his punk and it's been years since he's felt this kind of rage but he doesn't let a drop of it touch his voice
“i know, lad. i know. gonna let me take a look at it? make it right?"
soap finally nods, his stuttering apologies coming to a halt and ghost runs back to his car to get a towel. he presses it to soap's skin, trying to soak up as much as he can so he can get a proper look; cooing assurances as soap absently hisses in pain the closer he gets to it
it's only a graze and something in his chest unravels; old fears and grief settling as the shallow wound continues to gush into the towel
ghost slumps, pressing his forehead into the top of soap's head and takes a second to just breathe. “‘s’alright, johnny; it’s not even that bad, not even that bad,” he promises, low; spoken more to himself than soap
his hand starts to grow damp and he forces himself to his feet, gathering up soap and getting him into his car. he puts the towel in his hand and presses it against the wound, trying to coax him through his shock to put pressure on it so he can drive
soap curls up in the passenger seat; eyes distant, seeing nothing and ghost has to tighten his grip on the steering wheel so he doesn't turn around
soap is the priority
he has to get him home; has to get him cleaned up and safe
then he can go hunting for the gutless shadow that hurt his punk
#this was just me wanting to give soap his post mw3 head scar ngl#tw implied past suicide#god if soap gets real mean with it. 'you dont give a shite about me! this is just you trying to save your stupid brother!#well guess what ghost?! hes fucking dead and smothering me aint gonna bring him back!’#and its the only thing he couldve said that would make ghost let him walk out the door#ghosts been here before. he knows how impossible it is to help someone that doesnt want to be helped but he cant let soap go#he cant go down that road again. cant let it be just to walk into soaps flat one day and find him in a bloodsoaked bathtub#when soap comes out of his shock he finds ghost slowly and methodically cleaning his leather jacket#hes trying hard to remain calm and clearheaded#trying not to fall back into old habits#but theres a reason hes called ghost#bc the second he stops looking after soap is the second he storms out to find graves and wring his neck#soap pushes back so hard against ghost trying to help him bc in his head being ‘saved’ or ‘better’ means being changed#bc the only help hes ever experienced has been conditional. ‘we will help you if you go to college. if you stop art.#if you change your entire being’#he cant process that ghost wants him the exact way that he is bc no one ever has#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#we’re a team. ghost team#soapghost#ghostsoap#ghoap#soap cod#john soap mactavish#ghost cod#simon ghost riley#save post
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i thought about spades slick again and i fell to the ground clutching my knees in tears
#He went through every horror imaginable#He fought tooth and nail for what he wanted#Gave it everything he had#AND HE STILL LOST#FUCK#ive been heavily debating rereading homestuck again now that ii is ending#i miss homestuck so bad#its like. theres this specific thrill i got from reading and experiencing homestuck that i cant find anywhere else#if that makes sense#dont get me wrong i absolutely ADORE ii#but homestuck was so jam-packed of content of everything and anything you could imagine#you could find anything#...mabye im being a little dramatic.#but whatever#i miss my alien old man yaoi#dadroog come back to me#le sigh#bonks thinkpan#im gonna have to stick with bonks thinkpan even though i go by laika#toodles
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Kim has a chipped tooth , but the chipping is inside , and very very small. It can't be seen and he won't get it fixed.
It's a souvenir from the very first time he defeated Chan on hand to hand combat. Even Chan doesn't know that, THAT hit, did so much damage.
Chay on the other hand , knows.
After their first kiss on his shaggy old couch , and the many more that followed that night , he could wax poetry about all the edges and softness of every single crevice on Kim's mouth. He had whimpered when it accidentally grazed his lips , and had grabbed onto Kim's shoulders at the time.
But after that one night Chay never got to kiss Kim again. He never saw the warmth in his eyes that melted and re-moulded his entire world. Not even when he begged in front of Kim to tell him some part of whatever they had , was true.
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Afterwards when he tried to move on , when he tried to fall into the arms of strangers who creeped all over him lustfully , the kisses never made him * feel*.
They were just a way to distract the minds of these poor replacements , so they wouldn't notice how empty Chay's ministrations were. They always closed their eyes when they kissed , and so Chay's unsatisfied frown went by unnoticed. His anger at the reminder , the lack of friction when they tried to dominate him, only made him pull back to lead their attention elsewhere, which they mistook for throes of passion. Hopefully.
When Chay finally was picked up by Kim at Yok's bar one night , Kim was shocked seeing how very much Chay had to drink , and how lax the security around him had been , especially considering their ward had been inebriated. Chay could barely recognise it was Kim half-carrying him out of the bar. Porsche had mentioned to "Make sure Porchay is being safe , Yok called and said he's drinking now. I know , shocking!" , Kim hadn't expected to end up with whole armful of drunk lanky Chay with flushed face and pouty lips.
Kim decided then and there to take him to his penthouse to sleep it off, so he could lie to Porsche about how drunk he had been and maybe so noone else could see his Chay like that.
Once a slightly sobered up Chay took in the piano that stood against the backdrop of a starlit Bangkok skyline , he tearfully broke down and tried to push Kim's aid away.
Only for them both to end up on the rug overlooking the balcony , holding each other , Kim trying to bask in the aroma that was simply his Porchay , and Chay trying to claw his way into Kim's leather jacket.
Finally , finally; Chay got to taste him again , and his whimpers got louder each time Kim grazed his plump lips with that one chipped tooth.
Some vague part of Chay's consciousness revelled that it couldn't get better than this , for Kim to choose that moment bite his lips with full force and draw blood. Chay started to shake like a scared fawn when Kim's fingers climbed underneath his shirt and headed to his chest.
#so this is a Kimchay au#where after confession they go to The old kittisawad house and make out#they be kissing kissing all night#that's kim being a gentleman cuz he knows if he goes even a little bit further than that#he'd end up having to explain to Porsche how chay missed the next days classes at school#except now Chay's in college and experienced and the one who hasn't experienced Chay is Kim if you know what i mean#so Kim can't exactly wait to devour every inch of his bambi#but he does make sure to sober him up and have a long honest talk about what had actually happened and ya know#how he had been a big dumbass#kimchay#kimchay au#thai drama#thai boys love series#thailand#kinnporsche#thai bl series#asian lbgtq dramas#kinnporche the series#jeff satur#be on cloud
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