#hes never beating the malewife allegations

[roboj0e]

Shin hakyun playing yet another pathetic unstable male wife character

[shortmexicangirl]

bringing this back because it is quite literally the plot of confrontation & collusion

bonus:

told that ai adrien bot that i was his therapist and asked what he wanted to discuss during our session and oh boy this kid has a lot to unpack

[logicalbookthief]

Wait. So it’s Rei who owns the apartment. Kazuki is crashing there indefinitely, and he does all the shopping, cooking, and cleaning?

He is never beating the malewife allegations.

[legaylos]

Not Wilson making House little lunches to take to work. He’s never beating the malewife allegations

[neonscandal]

Hi, Neon, just found your older ask here https://www.tumblr.com/neonscandal/700397520113876992/hiif-you-dont-mind-can-i-ask-something-from?source=share

Now, after 2 years, do you want to add something for the answer? Have you know it yet about the news? I'm still sad when I read that BNHA will be over in the next 5 chapters. Whatever happen, I'm grateful and will always love BKDK !!

Also, do you mind if I ask the same ask (same format : strength, weakness & dynamic) as that person above for Satosugu, Matchblosoom and Asheiji?

I have been sitting on this, and a few other asks since I've been slammed at work while still trying to make art on the side so I appreciate you hanging in there. 💖 At this point, the end of MHA has come and gone but my love lives on.

I will always find fantasy AU gifs appropriate.

⚠️ Spoiler warning through end of MHA manga.

TBH I find a lot of what I wrote to still be spot on, likely by design since I was trying to avoid spoilers at the time so I was indirectly speaking to observations we've now seen play out in the show. The notable difference simply being that the end of MHA brought a bit more exposition into the fact that, more than being number 1, Bakugo's one track mind was solely focused on Izuku.

Without Izuku, his ranking didn't matter. So he fought tooth and nail to get his childhood friend, his rival, his inspiration back into the game. Because they were both always worth saving, they were always making one another better.

Can I first and foremost just point out that Joe is voiced by Jonah Scott and thus deserving of a little romanticization in general?

⚠️ Spoiler warning through SK8 the Infinity S1.

PERSONALITY

Kojiro Strengths

Shockingly to say, Jo is humble. He might go around preening for the crowd but, as a founding member of S, he has the ability to meet Reki where he is when he is resentful of his own lack of growth because he's been there. Maybe that's more to say that he has a bit more emotional intelligence than he gets credit for, either way, there is more than meets the eye.

Jo is sentimental. He might joke about his restaurant not being a daycare or even banter bitterly with Kaoru but he is demonstrably still a safe space for up and coming skaters and a pillar for his high school friend even if we see he felt a bit left behind when he was younger.

Kojiro Weaknesses

I just find it interesting that he's very honest but only when Kaoru is unconscious. Like, he immediately carries Kaoru away after his big injury and really only alludes to valuing their friendship when Kaoru is knocked out beside him. From what we know of their lore, when Kaoru was looking to Adam, Jo was looking to Kaoru and I wonder how much Kaoru realizes that. Or how much Carla really probably bothers Jo as another thing that replaced him.

Kaoru Strengths

We know expeditiously who the brains behind the operation are. Kaoru is really intelligent, both in terms of picking apart Adam's battle strategy with the Love Hug and in programming Carla. Let us all be glad he went into calligraphy and not straight villainy because he'd be unstoppable I fear. There'd be nothing he couldn't mansplain, manipulate or malewife his way out of.

CHERRY IS SO GENDER. That's all.

Kaoru Weaknesses

He's stuck in the past with his vendetta against Adam. That's not to say that Jo isn't locked in a similar gear but Kaoru's motivation seems more personal and I suppose that informs a lot of fanon lore (and why Cherry will never beat the allegations). Kaoru already stands at the top of the pile of S skaters but he still has something to prove and it eventually costs him.

DYNAMIC

This is a really short series to extrapolate a ton from, to be honest, especially with its lack of a source material. I'm really looking forward to season 2 which will explore more of their lore specifically but any time there's an overture of disparaging banter with an undeniable foundation of affection?? I'm gonna love it. In short:

They keep each other honest - what happens on S, stays on S and, while Kaoru is hell bent on keeping his lives separate (professional vs skater delinquent), it's important to have people in your life who know the real you. All of you.

They maintain a shared goal - ultimately, friends are mirrors and the importance of that is touched on in the above. While part of their mission is to beat Adam, I think another element of that is to bring him back into the fold. Because when a homie starts acting weird, you gotta set him straight.

My sweet babies.

⚠️ Spoiler warning for Banana Fish series.

PERSONALITY

Ash Strengths

Despite every turn of his life showing him the evil of human nature, Ash still tries to do right by others. He protects the kids in his gang the only way he knows how. That's not to say he was always a good example because he had to do things that were not always on the up and up but he cared deeply about the people in his life and became the "monster" that could protect them, relentlessly.

Resilient almost to a fault, Ash's suffering is frequently short lived, knowing that he doesn't have the time to wallow. Not if it will be a detriment to his cause, not if it puts Eiji at risk, etc. He compartmentalizes his trauma and grief to prioritize the comfort and safety of others because so many people look to him for guidance. He is incredibly driven despite his age and life's challenges. This can be a strength and a weakness

Ash is brilliant. Strategically, skills wise, intellectually, he is brilliant and quick-witted, at that. Had his circumstances been different, who knows who he could have been in the scheme of things.

Ash Weaknesses

He's hardwired for martyrdom. Life taught him what people value about him and he sneers as he uses it to best them. While I love to see him able to turn the tables on so many of his abusers, it still belies that his confidence is more of a shield than anything else. When you're abused, especially continuously, you espouse feelings of guilt, shame and worthlessness. Regardless of one's resilience, you don't walk away unscathed. Regardless of one's intelligence, you still can't separate yourself from thoughts that suggest you're the reason for your abuse. Ash constantly walks into the line of fire, throws himself to the wolves, offers his life in exchange for others, leverages his experience and humiliation to shield the suffering of others'. In the end, despite what he found in Eiji, his decision to be the leopard, as it were, came from the fact that he thought that should be his fate. He did not think he deserved the softness of what Eiji offered. I disagree.

Despite making quick work of many challenges following the trail of banana fish, Ash can be hotheaded. He's emotional at times which is understandable but the worst instance of it was his overcorrection when Sing's men shoot Eiji as the fall out inextricably creates the situation that costs him his life.

Eiji Okumura. In many ways, Eiji is Ash's greatest weakness, often willing to walk back into hell if it meant an even exchange of Eiji's safety or life. But when it feels like you finally find a reason to live beyond just survival, is it not worth protecting?

Eiji Strengths

Despite the obvious culture shock, Eiji is unflappable, regardless of what he was running away from back home. From his pole vaulted escape where it all begins, to telling Ash to return to him safely, Eiji was just there for Ash and, more importantly, expected nothing in return. Both of these capture Ash's attention and quickly establishes a reciprocal relationship of respect and sympathy.

Eiji is as trustworthy as he is trusting.That's not to say he 100% has the best judge of who is deserving of his trust but his earnest nature endears him to others quickly. To the point where Shorter still does everything in his power to protect Eiji up until the point he can't. One could argue that should be chalked up to Shorter's friendship with Ash but there was a tenderness and concern to Shorter's protection that was specific to Eiji.

One thing about Eiji, he's gonna have audacity. He does not fear Ash despite the things Ash has had to do in the span of knowing him. He treats Ash as a person deserving of concern, deserving of kindness and deserving of attitude when the situation calls for it. In many ways, Ash is surrounded by people who care for him but Eiji sees him beyond his reputation and what he can do for him and it sets him apart. Even when Ash experiences things outside of what he can comprehend, when others treat Ash like a ticking time bomb to be regarded at arms length, Eiji is able to close the gap to comfort him.

Eiji Weaknesses

Despite that one year difference, Eiji is naive to the ways of the world. While it is presented initially like a cultural divide, fundamentally Eiji's upbringing, while not a walk in the park, is also so starkly different from Ash, Shorter's and other characters. A sickly father, perhaps distant mother, but he had promise and opportunities. Back home, he wasn't just surviving. This doesn't undermine the ego death of losing everything when he got injured and having to start from scratch. In truth, I don't think anything could have prepared him for the journey down the rabbit hole but he dove down it just the same. Perhaps because there were no alarms blaring about how it could cost him his life even after Skip's initial death.

DYNAMIC

Contrary to the above, I think Ash and Eiji don't always fall into the same dynamic in every part of the story. They fight for one another, sacrifice for one another, and provide protection (as best they can and in whatever way they can) for one another. Despite everything that should separate them and the one in a million chance of meeting one another, they did. While it meant both of their ruin in different ways it also irreparably altered both of their lives as they made indelible impressions upon one another.

I will never get over these two and, I suppose, neither will the rest of JJK since they're the reason for everything that goes awry.

⚠️ Spoiler warning through end of JJK manga. 😭

PERSONALITY

Will there ever come a time when I tire of writing about Satoru Gojo or Suguru Geto? No, I think not. I saved them for last because I felt like I'd probably have the most to write here but once I started thinking about it.. every single one of their strengths in turn becomes their weakness and leads to their undoing.

Gojo Strengths and Weaknesses

Gojo is strength. Tipping the scales with your birth had to make the list somewhere. He was an infallible weapon wielded by the higher ups until he became too unruly... but what could they do? He was the closest thing they had to otherworldly power. In many ways, without him, sorcerers didn't stand a chance. They conflated him with a god and it went to his head. It allowed him the hubris to gamble on a mission he knew could change the world.

Gojo's status makes him untouchable. In a society that prioritizes strength, Gojo was unmatched. Limitless is such an apropo technique for someone so far removed from others... or is he far removed from others because of his Limitless? Either way, by the time he meets Geto, he'd already been a weapon, been an anomaly for so long. He was raised without an equal, he is not unused to being the strongest and the responsibility that that entails. He's intelligent, pragmatic, and extremely capable. However, finding an equal in Geto made him greedy. Confident. A dangerous combination but, had he not always known such impregnable loneliness, perhaps things wouldn't have gone as far as they did. Regardless of the imperfect comparison (since being a Special Grade has a massive disparity in strength) these extremes created such a desperate need to never know isolation again. He was alone before Geto and suffered the weight of the world after Geto. It created an unprecedented sense of sentimentality, it drove him not to burn Geto's body. Even finding stronger students, people who could stand shoulder to shoulder with him, would one day surpass him... and he still couldn't really let them in.

It takes time and experience but, eventually, he has an adaptable worldview not defined by imposed obligation. This is informed by trauma but it becomes the catalyst for how he lives the rest of his life which is marked with the lofty benevolence of someone who doesn't have to interfere in the trivialities between sorcerers and curses/curse users but does if only to prevent others from experiencing similarly devastating loss or alienation. What he does after Geto defects does nothing to redeem Geto or salvage their relationship but, from that point, Gojo appreciates and protects the privilege of being young in the only way he knows how, by forging them to be strong in turn. It's not exactly a moral compass, one could argue it perpetuates a system that still exploits children but the response, as we've seen with the series end, sorcerers don't have the privilege of choice.

Gojo is out of touch with those around him. He can plot causation, infer complex logic, rehash history, etc. but it does nothing for the broken boy said to be his best friend. While he becomes aware of this weakness and tries to address it with Yuji (by having Nanami take over), it's too late. The damage had already been done.

Geto Strength and Weaknesses

Geto is no stranger to grueling and hard work. As an outsider to Jujutsu Tech, imagine coming into the fold, the only sorcerer of your family with a grossly unpalatable technique. Assessed to be the strongest after being plucked from relative obscurity and you stand at the top of the mountain with someone who won the genetic lottery with all the audacity to boot. We don't have much insight into Geto's whole back story but we see enough of Yuji's immersion into the jujutsu world to know that it isn't easy. But Geto made quick work of becoming an adept sorcerer, one who could keep up with the likes of Satoru Gojo even. Even as the strongest, he still must have had a bit of a bitter taste as he came to learn more of the world.

Geto is humble. Such that he earns respect and admiration from Nanami and Haibara respectively. His technique, almost an ill fit for someone who sought to be so pure, so noble, is unpleasant but it bestows such great power upon him. I imagine he had to rationalize it somehow. The sacrificial means to a suitable end in his mind. He is polite (but can absolutely be a little shit) and tries not to let being the strongest get to his head, frequently chastising Gojo for his behavior. But this practice of being humble in the face of such obvious power eventually creates a situation where he feels he is owed.

Geto has an inalienable sense of responsibility. It lends itself to his humility and keeps his moral compass pointed due north. Moreover, its what informs Gojo's reliance on his judgement. His worldview is simple, human even. Those who are strong are meant to protect. I think it further gives meaning to his discomfort every time he uses his technique. As if to say "in order to protect, I must suffer. Because I have great strength, I must be prepared to sacrifice,". This A + B = C mentality only works in a simple world without variables. But the world is unfair, curses are unpredictable and, sometimes, humans can be monsters. So when his worldview changes, it fractures something deep within him because of his simple but unyielding principles and inability to accept the world for what it is: a sea of gray.

DYNAMIC

They diametrically complement one another by design. In many ways, they differ to an extreme that begs the question of how they ever found any middle ground. But they did. And there was love. Or affection should you prefer. But it didn't make a lick of difference.

[justaboutsnapped]

this is the spiritual successor of my nico rosberg wag post he's never ever beating the purse dog malewife allegations is he

[inthedayswhenlandswerefew]

THE EPILOGUE !!! you have really outdone yourself EACH TIME. there’s so many things i love about this epilogue like :

the family vibees !!! they truly care for each other and is not afraid to show it (helaena bringing kale & mushrooms, baby clothes from Sophie …)

rhaena continuing aemond’s legacy

"mini chips" PLSSS

aegon being a good dad … yes. never beating the girl!dad allegations. give me 100 fics of those.

"i think i’m in love with you." "took you long enough". screaming. crying. clawing the bars of my cage. aegon waits for her. he WAITED and respected and let Chips deal with her owns feelings first until she realised that she loves aegon. i don't know what to say.

"aegon’s raspberry crumb muffins" aegon BAKES !! domestic aegon !!! malewife aegon !!! this epilogue is truly for the aegon girlies !!!

so we have kids named Opal, Otter, Skipper, Adonis and possibly Softshell Turtle … guess the positive thing about zombie apocalypse is that you can name your kid literally anything and no one will judge that (aegon is looking at helaena's encyclopedia for inspirations as we speak)

"harmony is aware she had a father before aegon, but that he had to go to heaven early" + "he’s exactly like Rio" + "your hair, aemond’s eyes" … scenes like this make me think about sirius black’s line "the ones that love us never truly leave us" … like, Rio and Aemond are not there with them, but Chips can see them when she's looking at faces of people she loves …

i'm sad that rio, aemond, jace & baela couldn't make it until the epilogue, but i'd like to think that they are watching out for the ones that do, and that they are happy in haeven knowing that their family is safe and happy <3

thank you once again for this beautiful story <3

Bestie I cannot even begin to tell you how happy reading this made me, I’m thrilled that you enjoyed the epilogue 🥹🥹 I feel like Aegon is SUCH a malewife, he could never work a desk job or scare off a grizzly bear but he can bake good muffins, dammit!! And he’s the type of guy who is terrified by the idea of fatherhood but ends up being a great dad once the kids arrive, Aegon is so playful and snuggly and never wants them to feel unloved like he did when he was little 😭🥰

(Also, yes, none of these children will ever have a LinkedIn so yeah, name them whatever 😂)

[shadowcoded]

I'm sorry but he's never beating the queer malewife babygirl allegations

[jrueships]

taking lil notes on the sauce getting a tat stream.... will be reblogging with more bcs this video is fucking long as shit plus with me always pausing to write whatever nonsense i find funny? yea, idk if ill be able to get thru this all lmao 😭 but yea this will just be lil blurbs rewritten n commented on as i watch on one device and take notes on another like a lil movie major or smthin LMAO. To shorten typing time, Sauce will be SG and tat man will just be K as his real name is Kyle. ok? ok

SG, impatient & cocky, trying to show out 4 the stream like a little loser: ay cmon bruh im ready 😤!!🤘🏿 *goes to lay down on the jets styled?? tatting bed??? idk what that is i don't get tats.. i just know they probably fucked on it cus sauce winced when he had to sit down LMAO. went from ay bruh im ready to EUAGH 😫!! Eh 😣😖!! in a millisecond LMFAO*

K: *checks himself out on camera for a split second*

K: *very polite to the stream's viewing. Apparently has never streamed or got an audience up close n personal during his tat sessions. Only shows the before and after photos so this is a new but very fun experience for him. aww, so cute <3 sauce getting him to try new things!!!! He's nervous about getting the best angles for us and he's always trying his best to please!! ( he's so service top it's Mad. it's MADDENIN!!! ) Sauce dramatic diva demanding hot n s*x fierce reporter mean fake bitch and his quiet polite and personable yet professionally firm, keeping sauce in line when he needs to fulltime cameraman part time bodyguard when the situation gets unexpectedly (or expectedly. Not everyone has Tat man's insanely loyal patience with sauce...) hostile WHEN??? Slowburn We're just workers/he's just my minion to ........... don't ask why we came out of the same bathroom at the same time STFU ?? HELLO??? TAT MAN!!!*

Chat: cook up kyle

Kyle: !! :] !! yea 😺!! im boutta cook 🥰 (HE KEEPS GETTING SO SWEETLY HYPED UP FROM SAUCES LIL AUDIENCE. IT'S SO CUTE LOL)

1:05 (around there idk none of these time stamps will be any accurate bcs i pause late after realizing smthin was funny then guestimate where it started so sorry :( ): sauce walking his big b00bies up in our face jumpscare :/ . To help Kyle zoom the camera per his chats demands. He lowkey high key very anxious and micromanaging abt kyle using his camera equipment lol. He just loves telling people what to do but also that shit is probably very expensive. But cmon sauce. Kyle the cameraman's got it!!! HE EVEN HAS THE PERFECT CAMERAMAN NAME LIKE?? Let him take care of you bbygirl ..😼

Sauce once again (a bit more gingerly this time) sits himself on his jets style seat thing and let's out a little cry of pain when his ass hits it??? sauce these bttm allegations are BEATING ur ASS lmao????

Kyle does what sauce was about to do for him and sauce kinda :/// >:( 😰😰😠. Sauce try to go five seconds without micromanaging challenge impossible. Complains about chat being able to see his facial expressions being too close up now and how he won't be able to fuck with Kyle no more cus of it cus they'll make shit is weird. Kyle simply responds ' That's love 🙂. '

Sauce goads the chat asking if he should end stream. Kyle at first thinks maybe he isn't cameramanning right and gets a little nervous/sad at disappointing sauce but quickly catches onto the strategy and joins in on the bait. The chat take it with a chorus of Nos. Girlboss sauce malewife Tat man media powercouple ftw?

2:58, K: wait turn ur head a lil bit? *Sauce looks at him* no, other way *sauce looks away, exposing neck to him and pre-ink*

K admires his work. Shows it off to the chat, tells them he's getting them right. Zooms in on sauce's neck

SOMEBODY SAID 'L NIPPLE' IN THE CHAT WHAT???? Chat language is so.... beautiful 😭

'Stop being a lil girl take the pain like a man'????? Yall sure this is twitch and not p*rnhub ??? tf?

Kyle zooms in. Chat: "glad to get the nipple off the page" HELP. my thoughts exactly

Kyle tries hiding sauces face with his zooms bcs he knows sauce was self conscious about his expressions lmao. Chat, instantly, and these are different people too. Everyone is a sadist here apparently. My kinda people 😼: 'WE NEED TO SEE HIS FACE FR' 'HIS FACE BRO WE NEED TO SEE HIS FACE' 'WE NEED TO SEE HIS FACE IF HE CRIES'

3:38 Sauce, reading the chat bcs if he doesn't have attention that he can feel for five seconds he explodes and dies: is my face in there ? <- literally just whined about not wanting his face seen bcs he'd get weird comments and ruin his very heterosexual very platonic relationship with tat man. But is now turning his whole tune around for some shred of people pleasing attention omg 🙄 poo fimbly 😑

K: nah they be clownin 😿.. *just wants to protect him*

Sauce agrees a bit then quickly changes subject to compliment himself.

Sauce notices camera needs shifting so he tries but Kyle's on it before he can. Sauce keeps trying anyways until eventually the needles settle him slougish

5:10 chat tells them to zoom out but sauce defends his cameraman: AINT NO ZOOM OUT 😾😾!! HE TRYNA GIVE YOU THE UPCLOSE LOOKS !!

Kyle zooms out anyways

Sauce whines about his nipple lol

Sg: yall weird af 😑 Yall tryna see my nipple or smthin 🤨? *incredulous look to camera*

K: FREE THE NIP!!!!! <- reading off chat, sadly

THE CHAT BULLIED HIM INTO HIDING HIS BOOBS LMAO. He got a blanket 😭 so now he's gonna be with another man... while under a blanket ? um. sauce I think this is pretty lose lose if u ask me .

Kyle wearing those black tattoo gloves gently touching sauces neck.... soft dom and not even trying to hide it 🤨?

Chat: stop moaning 😐

Sauce: my bad bruh 😔

Someone: get the tissues ready (????)

Sg: in da trenches 😼. in da trenches 😼

Someone in chat: sauce do u like when men fuck u? ( 🤔.. it's a fair ask 😳.)

Chat: the right side of my neck hurted the most (average sauce fan iq, im afraid )

Chat: SAUCE BABY START TWERKING

( now im just finding funny chat stuff cus all sauce doing rn is trying to not cry by randomly singing along to the music and kyle is working)

Chat trying to plot lies on kyle by spamming kyle messed up smthin so sauce can get worried lmao

9:40: around there, maybe a bit later, sauce starts groaning and cursing more

Chat: Sauce is it hard

Sauce asks how many people watching bcs u know he looooves an audience. Kyle doesn't know how to check so he has to stop and ask the chat

Kyle: Seven- ..... 776? 800? a thousand? man idk :(. yall play too much >:( yall play too damn much 🙄! ... i fuck with yall tho >:)

Chat trying to gaslight sauce into thinking Kyle's actually tatting a dick on his neck

I've been skipping or doing other stuff during some of the tatting. Sauce got up to try and figure out some twitch function? Mic suppression? idk. He lowkey stalling lol.

Kyle starts asking what the chat been saying around 31:40, curious.

Sauce and Kyle mumble to songs internmentedly lol

33:25 around there kyle raps to a song he rlly likes. Sauce adlibs it's cute

PAUSING THIS AT 35:10. We basically got an hour left in this jawn. YALL WE WATCHED ALOT IM PROUD!!!! OK im leaving this here for now, reblogging l a ter maybe even finishing it idk? I just need this shit sent cus im a lil nervous if it'll even load... this was a lotta work 😭 all for tatman and sauce interactions damn... ion even know this man's last name .. i need to go do strong people things now BYE see yall soon hopefully

[juicingbeetles]

tell me more about this 'buddy daddies' thing you're posting a lot about? it looks interesting! 👀 any good?

(Vibrating like a caffeinated hummingbird)

It's an anime that currently airing, in which two asassins accidentally aquire a child during a job and decide to raise her together. They're roommates (oh my god theyre roommates) and while neither have any real idea how to raise a child, they're doing their best. (One of my favorite moments in the show is when they discover what's basically Japanese Walmart and are super stoked). While ostensibly a comedy, the show is pretty realistic in the problems they encounter, from daycare to, um, killing people?

The characters are pretty good too! Miri (the child) has been called "annoying" by some, but she is a fairly realistic 4 year old in my opinion, as someone with younger siblings.

Kazuki is a wonderfull character too, he loves to cook and does most of the housework (never beating the malewife allegations). He has a lot of hidden pain where children and family are concerned, which lead to some *angst*.

Rei comes off as a cold-blooded killer at first, but he's just a very introverted dude who loves video games. He also has trauma, and its really neat to see him healing his inner child by helping to raise one.

And finally, this show is queerplatonic as fuuuuuuck. Kazuki and Rei could be read as gay, but they are also great as just two dudes raising a child. There's no cringy awkwardness of Miri having two dads, either. The guys dont have the rampant sexual tension of say, Yuri and Victor, which is why I tend to read them as platonic, but the fact remain they are literally living together raising a child. In conclusion, queer found family. I love it sooo much.

This show has been touted as "gay Spy×Family" but the similarities are honestly pretty surface level. But just like that show, the wholesomeness and humor are off the charts.

Does that cover everything? This got pretty rambly at the end there

[sigurdjarlson]

Crack thought of the day but Suck Session addition :

Sometime after the Nero and Sporus rant. Tom keeps referencing it because it’s their little inside joke now okay.

Greg figures he should probably be bothered by being referred to as Tom’s wife but he’s not. Like..who cares? Malewife rights or whatever. He kinda likes it

Anyway they’re at one of those lovely Roy family dinners that always end so well

Tom being Tom is trying to make it seem like him and Shiv aren’t on the verge of divorce, “could my beautiful wife please pass me the salt?”

Both Shiv and Greg reach for it at the same time.

Greg gets it because of his freakishly long limbs.

And alright..people laugh because it’s a weird Greg moment right? they’ll razz him and Tom about it for a while but whatever. Greg’s just… like that.. he says and does all kinds of weird shit

Except they both fail to react like two pals just goofing around.

Tom tries way too hard to play it off,

“Oh YEahHHh..I was saying earlier. I spend so much time with him at the office? he’s basically my wife…but like..my work wife…because I’m married to you, Shiv, honey..my wife wife”

Greg blurts out, “I did not have sexual relations with your husband.”

Shiv just rolls her eyes and says something sarcastic like “wow, I’m so glad we cleared that up, Bill Clinton.”

But Greg is still holding the salt and when Tom goes for it he lifts it out of arm’s reach and looks at Tom very seriously

“You know..I’m not trying to tell you what to do or anything, Tom but…are you sure you should be adding more salt? Like.. your blood pressure is already high enough?“

“Just give me the fucking salt, Gregory.”

“I mean having high pressure is really..it’s not like… good for you, Tom? It’s not very healthy?

“Oh fuck off, Greg.” He the. proceeds to snatch it out of his hand and pour a horrifying amount of salt on his food out of pure spite.

After a few awkward silent minutes at the table, Shiv just says to Tom “I didn’t know you had high blood pressure?”

Which sends Roman into a fit of hysterical laughter.

They are never beating the allegations

[what-if-nct]

watched the instagram update of xiaojun and hendery posing for photos... xj is NEVER going to beat the malewife allegations. he can't help himself.

I think I know exactly which pose you are referring to and no, he will never beat them, I don't think he wants to.