#hes literally one of the only 4 stars im missing please

[midknitefox]

guys new character hyper fixation acquired

(Kaveh from genshin impact)

help

update: I went and found the image links (or what I believe to be the original artist links, I couldn't find anything else so lmk if I need to change it)

my lock screen

my wallpaper

hope this helps! (tip! link 2 for my wallpaper leads to a hoyolab post with a bunch of different wallpapers, so you might have to scroll a bit to find it. but on the bright side- a bunch of different character wallpapers for you ❤️)

[wilsons-striped-ties]

september tc challenge (days 1-30 one shot)

original post here!

once again this is about passion fruit

1 - Describe your tc using only three words.

thoughtful, passionate, proactive

2 - When and how did you first realize you had feelings for your tc?

i guess it was when my heart started to beat faster whenever i entered his lessons, when i noticed his dimples more, when i became so much more eager to please, around the time he started to pick on me to answer questions when i started to get really good at history, maybe around second half of year three

3 - If you could ask them five questions and they HAD to answer, what would you ask?

what cologne he uses because it smells so good but he stopped using it unfortunately, if he'd be open to going out with me someday but not romantically la just like a casual lunch or something, what his favourite books/movies/music, if he's ever thought of me, if he ever misses me (be it in general or as his student)

4 - Tell us a daydream you have had about your tc!

that we'd just sit at the canteen or something and talk, just talk about life and hobbies and getting to know each other better

5 - If you have a playlist of songs about your tc, what is it called and why? If not, what would you title your playlist?

it's literally called passion fruit ramblings, im not even joking

6 - What would you want from them most on your birthday?

for him to know its my birthday, even just a simple happy birthday from him would mean the absolute world to me

7 - You get to spend one night with your tc. Where are you and what is the weather like?

we're under the stars, the night is cold and breezy, but comfortable at the same time, we're sitting on the rooftops with our legs dangling over the edge, or laying on the rooftops, the city lights are beautiful, making the stars shine even more but i know his eyes would sparkle the brightest

8 - If your tc were a Care Bear, what would their name be?

passionate bear probably, cause he has this magical ability to bring across his passion in anything and infect me with that same passion LMAO

9 - Share a picture of a famous person that most resembles your tc!

dont have HAHAHA but he used to look up to che guevara when he was a kid

10 - What color does your tc look best in?

black or dark blue maybe

11 - What is something you have said/done to/in front of your tc that you totally regretted but that they probably didn’t think twice about?

prom. just prom in general, i didn't take a picture with him, i didn't even talk to him at all??? what was going through my stupid mind then??? definitely one of my biggest regrets in my whole life

12 - What 3 emojis best relate to your tc? Just share the emojis!

😊⚽️☕️

13 - Following the last question, pick one emoji that best relates to a story about your tc. Now tell that story! (Don’t forget to post the emoji as well.)

👨‍⚖️ he used to have a gavel on his desk and would randomly hammer it when he was bored and it was quite funny

14 - Okay, let’s get super personal. How do you think your tc would be in bed?

next question HAHAH i don't know, i've never thought about it before

15 - What lengths did you go to to get into your tc’s class? If you can’t answer that, what lengths WOULD you go to?

like when i was in his class? i would read up about the chapters beforehand and memorise them so that i could answer whatever questions he threw at me, and even if i didnt know the answers i would bs and they would somehow be the answers he's looking for, i did so many extra practice papers to book a one on one consultation with him during the national exam season HAHHA

16 - Tell us about a moment that you got super jealous of your tc! (Or more than one moment if you’re anything like me!)

never got jealous of him before but im jealous of others cause in group photos hes more relaxed and does other poses but with me its just hands behind his back and a smile :'

17 - Hey pal, how’s school going for you so far with your tc?

im out of school already :(

18 - Pretend you are your tc for a moment. Now write a blog post as if they were posting in a “student crush community” about you! What would they say about you?

she just called me her favourite teacher... she just baked me cupcakes for my birthday... she shouldn't have, how did she know it was my birthday... (he uses ellipses a lot)

19 - What is your ideal first date with your tc?

honestly we could just walk along a park or something after eating dinner and just admire the evening sky and talk, maybe hold hands and that would already be perfect

20 - What lengths would you go to to please your tc?

literally stay up till midnight to bake cupcakes for him and order the passion fruit pulp from lazada because absolutely nowhere sells that and give it to him for his birthday :'

21 - How much taller or shorter is your tc compared to you?

honestly not that much taller than me, im 158cm and hes taller than me by half a head or slightly lesser

22 - Do you have any nicknames for each other? If so, tell us where those nicknames came from and if you don’t have nicknames, what WOULD you call your tc and why?

dont have any nicknames but he did call me his star history student once, and i wish i had the guts to call him my favourite teacher jokingly (because he is) but i dont unfortunately

23 - What fictional character is most like your tc? Why?

not sure HAHAH

24 - What do you think your tc’s spirit animal is?

hmmm he reminds me of a tiger

25 - What is the best thing your tc has said to you?

that i was his star history student, that he had full confidence that i would do well in humanities during high school and in college

26 - If it weren’t illegal and there were no rules, do you think that you would have a chance with your tc?

no chance unfortunately, he's married with three kids

27 - Write a “Facebook” status as if it were the morning of your wedding with your tc!

hurricane meets cyclone (he reminds me of a hurricane and my mother always calls me a cyclone)

28 - When did you join the tcc, how did you discover it, and who was the teacher that made you want to join?

like this year cause i started to use tumblr then, discovered via tumblr, that time it was mango that was my tc crush

z

nope but i sure hope so

30 - Write a letter to your future child for the day that they discover that they have a teacher crush.

ive been there and there's honestly no shame in having a tc <3

[toastess-with-the-mostess]

Let's Rewind! Toast Watches Voltron: Defender of The Universe (1984)

Season 1, Episode 39: The Captive Comet Season 1, Episode 40: The Little Prince

Episode 39: The Captive Comet OH BOY IS THIS THE EPISODE I THINK IT IS, THIS IS GONNA BE FUN

Opening with Haggar dishing out some lore, yes please universe started with a big bang and that apparently created a comet that acted like a black hole that at some point Voltron banished to a far corner of the universe inch resting

this was a fairy tale for drule children? i wonder how that story would've gone

ROMELLE WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN IVE MISSED YOU SO MUCH

"take it easy zarkon, eaaaasy" Haggar smokes weed for sure

she sacrificed a star fleet to be able to control the comet, another thing that feels so similar to a plot point in vf

did they just pull Romelle out of her cell just to let her freak out about the omega comet heading to arus 😭 what a petty move lotor

smart cookie, she found a way to contact the team before getting found out

"human on arus" so is arus like a colony of earths that slowly became its own governing body? Inch resting, they will still be aliens to me though

how does Coran know about the secret plan that happened before voltron split into lions if he only found out voltron after it was split into 5?? I'm gonna make this lore make sense by the end of the episode I swear

early voltron formation, shits about to get real

oh man they already got to the comet? also why did Allura look so young in that scene?

Keith: maybe your right Lance: I know im right! get his ass lance

the secret plan is to go 4 sector power setting?? oh this is so a trap YEAH ITS A TRAP THEY'RE GETTING SUCKED INTO THE COMET AND LOTOR USED ROMELLE TO GET VOLTRON TO DO IT WHAT THAT WAS SUCH A GOOD PLAN

oh man voltron is trapped trapped for realises this time, he can't even get out of the comet's gravity

ofc they contacted the alliance for help, and they'd rather let Voltron die instead of giving any help "ill see what i can do" literally i want the alliance broken

PRINCE BANDOR COMING IN TO HELP THE TEAM LETS GOO again i need to make this lore make sense and by the end of this show i fucking will

YES I WAS RIGHT THEY'RE DEAD THE TEAM ACTUALLY DIED OH MY GOD YESS THIS IS SUCH A GOOD EPISODE

and now an entire fleet of doom (lol) is heading towards Arus IS THAT THE END OF THE EPISODE HOLY SHIT

/episode end

Episode 40: The Little Prince TWO PART EPISODE LETS GO

recaap time since this was a weekly premiering show

literally starting off with an invasion of Arus now that Voltron is gone, this is wild especially because it's not even the season finale

"Coran made the situation worse by calling Prince Bandor for help" I HATE THE GARRISON I HATE THE GARRISON I HATE THE GARRISON BARK BITE SNARL

"little fella" bandor you're only taller than pidge by a head shut up LMAO

Coran actually doing work for once and helping out, he's becoming a dependable person slowly but surely

Lotor is yelling about this next robeast being the most powerful there is,, my guy you say this every time just pick one of them to back and stick with it

"sorry we shouldve helped you when you asked earlier but now we're fucked and we genuinely can't do anything now <3" FUCK THE GARRISON I HATE THE GARRISON RAAA

GOD IS THAT YOU?? WHAT IS THIS

THEY'RE LITERALLY MEETING GOD AND SHE'S GIVING THEM A CHOICE, GO TO HEAVEN OR KEEP LIVING AND GO TO HELL WHEN THEY REALLY DIE

what heroes, they chose to end up going to hell if it meant being able to save the universe IMMEDIATELY NOTING THIS DOWN FOR FUTURE ANGST EVEN THOUGH I ALREADY KNEW ABOUT IT

VOLTRON LITERALLY HAS THE POWER OF GOD AND ANIME ON THEIR SIDE LMAOO

back to romelle and now she's chained up, what did they do to you bestie

ITS BANDOR COMING FOR HIS SISTER HE'S SO REAL FOR THAT

there he is! voltron to save the day and destroy that robeast with blazing sword!

i'm sorry couldn't follow lotor to planet doom? what bullshit

IS GOD TALKING TO ROMELLE? OH MY GOD, SHE GOT SHOT INTO THE PIT OF SKULLS NOT PUSHED

THIS IS A THREE PARTER HELLO???

/episode end

[originsofevil]

Intro <3 !

I go by Michelangelo or any variation of that

(usually michael/mikey but names dont mean much to me)

but i recently found out that i'm the host of a system so if any tags are signed off with a different name thats why

dont care too much abt pronouns but i typically use he/him, ve/vir, and xe/xir/xem. mix it up, get creative. typically dont use she/her but ynever know

body is 21, we're an aries if u wanna make any judgement off of that, autistic + adhd if that wasnt obvious

i do post occasional nfsw/suggestive content, never anything too crazy but if youre a minor id prefer if you didnt interact with those posts, i have no way of enforcing this as i dont check my notifs unless theres tags but i am a full adult, i do pay rent and bills and taxes. on that topic i probably wont follow you if youre under like. 16/17ish. no hard feelings i just am an adult and im not around kids very much as the 2nd youngest of 4 so. if youre under 16 dont do drugs stay in school all that good stuff. i love you, go to bed on time. i've been on this website since i was 11 and it shows. dont be me.

dms are always open ! i'm not amazing at holding a conversation unless its abt my current hyperfixation (rn its zelda/lu) but i love to yap. if you follow me and we're not mutuals dm/ask me and ill follow back! I don't rly pay attention to my followers so i typically don't follow ppl unless theyre consistently posting abt one of my interests and i remember to

I talk in the tags a LOT feel free to <- prev or rb addressing my tags but i typically assume no one will read them all the way through. i'm writing whole essays. im oversharing. call op a college admissions office bc I'm telling my whole life story. if my tags make you uncomfortable on your post please let me know and i will apologize/delete them if you wish. i dont have a concept of tmi and tend to misread/miss social cues/the vibes so i apologize if i misstep

please let me know if i reblog any stolen artwork/ai generated anything/ etc

‼️‼️i am not spoiler free for anything (even if i myself havent seen the content) i dont have any sort of tagging system ‼️

list of my active fandoms! old hyperfixations tend to creep up on me so this is not complete

- bungo stray dogs (bsd beast fans pls follow me i adore beast)

- legend of zelda (all games + lu/links meet aus)(legend fans pspspsp)

- the witcher (mainly the show but i got attached to a character thats not even actually in any of the games. aiden i love you.)

- cars (2006, 2011, 2017)(yes entirely unironically)

- Voltron legendary defender. (again. yes. unironically.)

- star wars (mainly the main series and animation since i havent read thr or played the games)

- jujutsu kaisen (2nd years stan)

- the magnus archives (gerry delano fans i love you)

- percy jackson (mainly the books and musical, i dont care for the show much but i adore the actors)

- gravity falls ! (i actually just got into this like, last month. binged the whole series in like a week at age 21.)

- my hero academia (my hs best friend made me watch s1 and i got attached to aizawa hawks and the todorokis sorry)(im convinced the todorokis were based on my family. im literally natsuo. dont ask abt dabi unless u think you're prepared)

- lord of the rings, long awaited addition to this list given i was raised on them (undiagnosed adhd child + 4 our long movies = not a good combination)

Non Fandom Interests

- I write ! once i start uploading ill link my ao3 here but its rough out here (microsoft word)

- I draw ! i mightve posted my art a few times but as i mentioned i dont have any tagging system so maybe I'll make one for art or link another social at some point

- this mostly falls under loz but i love video games :3 i MOSTLY play loz but animal crossing, minecraft, and random silly da games ive collected over the years are my pride and joy. i want to play the witcher games but i have assassins creed black flag and im really bad at it. (i only have nintendo consoles (ds, 3ds, switch) rn but i want a decent pc at some point. the sims calls to me.

- Politics! my politics are very important to me as a leftist so if you're right wing we will not get along. if i find out that youre racist/homophobic/transphobic/a zionist (i am jewish)/sexist/etc i will probably block you. id say no hard feelings but i dint mean that.

I will probably update this as needed/whenever i remember to <3 ty if u read this and i love you have a great day

[inconsideratekidney]

11/20/24

goooooood mornin',

i am feeling good today in general. i've been feeling better ever since i got dressed. i put pants on that i haven't worn in like 3 weeks and reached into my pocket and found my airpods! i am very happy. they are charging up now and i am so ready to go back to wireless listening.... the wired ones were good and all, reliable and didn't need to be charged, but man i missed not having a wire in the way of literally everything i do. the microphone on the wired ones is 100% better tho.... i was struggling to sign while wearing them connected to my laptop, but the mic was just so much better than my airpods. oh shwell. i need new headphones, i should've asked for christmas, but i said i didn't want anything like usual. i want a new laptop and a new pair of headphones.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

should i buy the sims 3? genuine question... i hear it's the best of the series for its open world concept, its general relationships, family, and the wants are actually context based and not random. the sims 4 is lovely and is by far the most aesthetic or pleasing to look at version of sims and of worlds. the building is also the best out of all 4. i like my sims 4, so i think i will obviously keep it, but will always be curious about playing the older versions, especially when so many ppl think its the best one *shrug*.

also the fact that the sims 2 has turn-ons and turn-offs is absolutely hilarious to me. so funny. and like star signs... im dead.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

how is that mighty fine air of ours. it's so airy and full of air. honestly i always forget it exists, it really does just sit there. i love the air. it's so mysterious and gets loud all of a sudden and then dissipates. so cool. i guess that's more the wind, but i love both.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

it's been 6 months since my uncle passed and 3 years since my friend from hs took his life.....times are weird. i don't feel much about it, which feels wrong, only because it was my uncle and i was closest with him. i guess i just don't like to think about things that make me upset! crazy... i was thinking about it tho during class yesterday. i totally blanked out and stared into the computer screen in front of me for about 3 minutes. that was weird...

i'm nervous to go home for thanksgiving. so many things happening..... hopefully my family is happy, but i know it'll be weird without my uncle. very weird.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

my uncle was 56 years old, wasn't married before passing, and never had any kids. he had a lovely girlfriend, so many friends and loved ones, and had many pets in his life. he was always a class clown, in school and after graduating when working as a teacher. everyone who knew him loved him. he was loud and opinionated and loved to make jokes and get people laughing. he was fun to be around because he always wanted to do something, he goofed around and would occasionally make fun of you...but you still enjoyed it...most of the time. he loved people with all of his heart and wanted the best for anyone and everyone around him.

his heart may have been the very thing that worked very hard in his life, maybe too hard. along with all of the fun times being the life of the party, he drank and smoke heavily throughout his life. he had heart problems that he didn't tell anyone about. he would work hard and do things for others, but silently suffer through them. we wouldn't have known that he was suffering as much as he did if he didn't want to burden us and bring attention to himself. in some ways, you could still argue it was a bit selfish how we all care for each other and he didn't let us know, so now we have to deal with the outcome of it. there are many perspectives, but this one is one of the harshest and realest. i won't go into the harshest one, because it's something i don't like to condemn him of, and he doesn't deserve that right now.

whatever actually happened specifically, we don't know, so there's also no reason to beat ourselves up over not knowing. i know my family struggles with that... anyway, i miss him and hope to see him in heaven one day. may God rest his soul.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i don't mean to be so depressing, but it's my real life and i feel like it's important to talk about. i will be there for my loved ones and make sure to pay attention to people even when they piss me off. i hope everyone is doing alright and that i don't miss too many signs of depression or the like in any of my friends and close ones. i know my family's depressed rn so *shrug*.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i may end it here for lack of anything better or more to say lol. i wish to get on a more tuesday tuesday tuesday schedule, but life happens and i forgert.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

hope everyone has a lovely day and see you all next time on the inconsideratekidney show...

i hated that..

ok bye :p

kD ⭐

[meowsticmarvels]

whats on your mind rn in terms of Games ?

OOH FUN.... assuming you probably asked this bc most of my interests are games LOL but i jhave some Thoughts on games in General and the industry as a whole. buckle up!

- currently im playing. a lot of them obviously but my most recents are persona 5 tactica and the sims 4 :] - fav fav games EXCLUDING THE SPECIAL INTERESTS . - ghost trick, UT/DR, NITW, TS4 ( i havent played any other sims except the sims 2 pets for the 3ds im sorry.), super mario galaxy, goodbye volcano high - the special interest ones include pokemon (fav out of main series is sun/moon, black/white, and scarlet/violet, but i do like many spin offs like mystery dungeon), mii/wii games (i.e. wii sports), minecraft story mode, and the persona games (never finished one but i've reached various distances in P2IS-P5 excluding some spin offs and stuff like i havent started P5S or P2EP. favs r 3 + 4 + tactica) ^ ask me about any of those (or other ones i like i.e. gvh) i WILL ANSWER even if its something thatd be faster with google im better - underrated gems i'd say goodbye volcano high, death road to canada, chicory a colorful tale, signs of the sojourner, aviary attorney, tails noir, blanc. ghost trick to a lesser extent ig but the others are indie - current main wishlist (inc. ones i Will emulate): shin megami tensei V, devil survivor overclocked, fire emblem 3 houses, professor layton, pokemon black 2, persona q2, persona 3 reload ( I Want. Now. its on gamepass but i literally need everything related to it you dont get it.), wii play motion, twewy, and okami. OH also in stars and time and oneshot. also disco elysium and hylics look cool too. AND CASSETTE BEASTS. fuck i hate when every game looks good. need to play murder of sonic the hedgehog also. and looking forward to billy bust up. OH AND I NEED TO PLAY THE STANLEY PARABLE. AND BALDURS GATE 3 - i think the only game i really truly regret buying is 1-2 switch. im sorry it was good for like 2-3 weeks when the switch was new now i just do not care - i love you indie games i love you games that in general are not afraid to be weird and deviate from stuff. get crazy with it - video games r kind of an art form. if you think about it - industry kind of shit !!! stop laying off your devs!!!!!!!!!! what the fuck!!!!!! its been bad lately even my dad (a QA tester) got laid off a game he was working rly well on because they abruptly cancelled it. ok - i don't care for most FPS games. not my thing. too stressful. not enjoyable for me that much. im more of an RPG guy but i'm open to new things i played like food maker apps when i was a kid - speaking of industry stuff crunch is another thing severely a major problem. and the thing with sag aftra approving ai voices in games. Stop!!!!!!! - i miss e3 :( was a fun thing to look forward to each year - game preservation is also a real issue. like ig i get saving money by killing the servers on old consoles but in nintendos case people still actively use them theyre not that old. kind of dumb. xbox i get it the 360's been out since 2005 but 3ds/wiiu things are younger than me chill out - HATE when good fun mobile games are cash grabby. like STFU its more annoying than anything when they make resources impossible to get without paying. whats the fucking fun in that. i'd rather it be an easy way out last resort than oh i can get like 1 gem every month by doing this BUT if i pay i can get 10 of them for like 10 dolar. like ok die - waiter! waiter! more transgender as hell games please! (i.e. goodbye volcano high. that game changed lives) - also we need more autistic as hell games and i mean canonically. and not fucking Creepy Autism Simulator - more and better accessibility settings!!! i personally dont need many myself but it's important to me that others are able to play a game without severe issues due to disability. indie games doing great abt this based on feedback though ive seen a lot of good ones - any streetpassers in the chat thats all sorry it was long but i have a lot of thoughts abt Games in general. if theres any in particular u wanna hear abt shoot me an ask!!! can be one not on here i'm open to reccomendations or just things ive gathered from people who have :]

[rinzis]

what your favourite genshin impact character says about you: no holding back edition

i’m finally allowed to post again!!! great joy

aether/lumine: you’re basic as hell sorry . also stop fighting over who the better twin is they’re literally the same person but different genders. you’re pretty fun to be around ig but i feel like you eat food off the floor. 5 second rule not 5 hour rule ok

amber: ok i’ve actually met a bunch of people whose fav is amber and you guys are actually really sweet but pls learn when to stfu you’re so loud . also you guys go feral whenever someone (everyone else in the fandom) says amber sucks like chill bae

kaeya: jesus fucking christ your horny is off the scale. every kaeya stan i’ve ever met cant keep it in their pants. and we know the only reason you like him is bc of his giga bouncer supreme ultra man rack 3000. stop saying you want him to smother you with his tits. get some help.

lisa: YOU GUYS ARE COOL AS HELL!!!!!! as someone who relates to lisa you’re very cool. most chill people to be around and you’re definitely super smart. not lazy but just reserved. 11/10. oh btw do you use her for climbing?

diluc: do you have daddy issues? you guys definitely have a thing for the tsundere archetype and you probably like zhongli too. just admit you want diluc to do the kabedon thing on you and move on. we know what you’re like. also how does it feel being so short? i swear every diluc stan is small as hell

jean: YOU GUYS are so sweet pls whenever i play co op with a jean main it’s just like wow you’re so strong and nice and thanks for healing my entire team wow........ however although you’re so responsible you probably enjoy cancelling people on twitter for fun . sorry

venti: VENTI STANS. I LOVE YOU. is it partially because i myself am a huge venti stan? yeah no. you probably missed out on his first banner and are saving for his rerun..... same......... anyways you guys give off the best vibes n it’s always so fun to be with you. i love you all

razor: i have one question for you guys . did you either like warrior cats or were you a wolf kid?

albedo: you guys are so smart wtf !!!!!!!!! you’re so rational in co op mode too and if you have albedo you probably use him as a sub dps for your teammates bc you’re so good at reading situations........ then again you also have some weird shit going on like cmon it’s milk after cereal you psychopaths

sucrose: you either kin sucrose or are creepy sorry . ok but she’s so underrated like her passive 3........ WOAH.............. you definitely use her in spiral abyss,,, also are you a burnout successful kid who used to kiss teachers’ asses and middle school was a breeze before getting to college/university and realising that professors don’t give a shit anymore? wow who would have guessed

diona: wannabe catgirls assemble! please move on from your warrior cats phase you’re almost as bad as the razor stans but you’re adorable too. you probably want qiqi or klee but don’t have them so you’re settling for diona

barbara: thanks for healing my team in co op barbara stans !!!! you guys are genuinely so nice omg thank you for being so reliable all the time,,, do you highlight your notes so it’s more art than notes? yeah that’s what i thought

mona: ok if no one else is gonna say it i will,,, no one understands shit about your astrology thing going on. i’m a caprisun? great

bennett: YOURE ALL ADORABLE. thanks for helping us out in co op!!!! you definitely advocate for bennett rights and yes pls do,,,, we all love benny deep down!!!! you either don’t have him or have him at like C218372

fischl: jojo stans

just kidding but you all probably act like fischl irl. also did you have an emo phase

klee: ok if your favourite is klee you definitely don’t have her . waiting patiently for klee’s rerun!!!! shes just so adorable and so are you guys,,,,, so fun to be around !!!!! you probably have diluc and hate him

noelle: you guys....... the rarest of the rare. you love trying to convince people that she’s a great healer dps n everything else...... no bae you probably use her because you like geo and claymores like hmm yes i will now hit things hard with my big sword and rock power

ok onto liyue now sweats nervously

childe: you guys are ALL simps. ALL OF YOU. go n touch some grass bro!!!!! you either think he’s super sexy or you bully him and make the ed sheeran jokes (not funny) . you follow griffin burns on tiktok too dont you

zhongli: you either love him for his gentle demeanour or you want him for his fat giga dumptruck 3000. make up your minds!!!!! you guys are so clueless in co op mode but you’re hilarious. you probably have his energy recharge at like 200% so you can use his ult and hear I WILL HAVE ORDER every 4 seconds

xiao: STOP GROWLING AT PEOPLE. every xiao main is so aggressive not joking . yeah the only reason you saved for him is because you want to stare at him all day n listen to him growling . you guys genuinely scare me . no he would not hold ur hand and do cute things with you,,,,,, if given half the chance he’d probably decapitate you

ningguang: alright jeff bezos, hand over the cash. yeah so you’re either rolling in it or want to be her sugar baby. but you guys have such an intimidating aura like playing with ning mains is just .... you always build her so well she’s an absolute tank!!!!!! thanks for scaring the shit out of me but also protecting me

beidou: YOU GUYS. you’re fun to be around but i also feel like you could probably destroy me in 3 seconds flat !!!!!!!! do you hate diluc too? i love playing with you guys because all i hear is TO ASHES every 2 seconds and she’s just cool as hell so yeah i really like beidou stans. i feel like you all have her so congrats

qiqi: you’re so cute,,,,, best healer !!!! you probably love playing qiqi because her skills look so cool and you prefer playing heal/support,, if you don’t have her you just love her bc she’s so tiny . spoiler alert but do you have a thing against xiao for killing her lol

xiangling: you’re so chaotic help,, you definitely pair her with xinyan too because you give off the most uncontrollable vibes,,,,,,, did you level her to use her in the spiral abyss or do you just think polearms are neat and don’t have xiao or zhongli

xinyan: please reread xiangling paragraph but replace polearm with claymore . you like either bring me the horizon or bubblegum pop there’s no in between

chongyun: you’re all the nicest people ever and you’re so chill . you love chongyun with your whole hearts and i adore you !!!!!! the animation of him eating the popsicle melts your hearts (no pun intended) and you just think he’s really cool :( ily all

xingqiu: chongyun vibes but make it kinda unnerved . burnout successful kids 2.0 ,,,,, are you clever too? you also love xingqiu and believe he’s worthy of being a 5 star with his heal and damage reduce !!!!! he’s so helpful wtf and so are you . please stop going on about his legs though it’s highkey weird asf

keqing: COOL PERSON SYNDROME! i main this gal so i love you all . do you get as mad as i do when people say she doesn’t deserve to be a 5 star? yeah . are you a procrastinator and try and take lessons from keqing but are just so lazy? do you use her teleport because you can’t be bothered to climb mountains? yeah that’s what i thought

ganyu: you’re all the nicest people alive and i adore you all . thanks for being so kind in co op mode . every ganyu main i’ve met is so sweet and you’re all so powerful too woah....... you hate the cocogoat jokes too >:( pls mihoyo give her more attention !!!!!

scaramouche: you have rights guys we know you exist. also we know you want him to be playable. we know that you think his hat is neat. we know you love this shawty but please be quiet.

signora: wait you guys exist

hu tao: you prank people for fun like pls stop im so on edge when youre around . plus i feel you laugh at videos of babies falling over n shit,,,,,,, you cant wait for her banner but also please shut the fuck up

dainsleif: please leave me the fuck alone we did 1 (one) quest with him and you’re all obsessed with him . ok second hand dmitri from fire emblem you want a medal for being a fucking simp?

[qingxintea]

heartbreak avenue (3) || albedo x reader

heartbreak avenue (1) heartbreak avenue (2) -- tell me how, do you do this thing called living? when theres nothing more to gain. gn reader -- ignore the link below idk how tf to hyperlink on mobile but that’s ur part 4 ig

damn. imagine missing mond so much that you visit just for the vibes and accidentally become a one time vigilante for dominating over a couple abyss mages

how oddly specific!

you moment.

TO BE FAIR, you didn't mean to and also ur just strong with that 245% crit damage ugh yeah yeah get it ig

it was night time, like, idk 1am and you were in this cloak because idk look swaggy and comfortable

abyss mage went ŏ̸̡̡̹̘͉̫̬̬̭̘̙̝͐͒̆̈́̒̿̄́͠͝ǒ̸̧̺͕̣̬̝̱͈̭̭̻̮̈̏̔͆̑̀̍o̵��̨̡̜̲̭̠̤̰̹͍̣͎̤̈́̓̍ḩ̴̡͍̣̹̯̭̩̮̣̩̭́̔̀̍͊̂͒́̆͘͜͝͝ȃ̷̧̡̢̡̨̛̪͓̤̜͕̳̦̼͊̏̃͆̓̈́̈́̽̈́͌͐̋̚ͅh̸̡̩͍̟͕̥͚̰̰̟̮̖̪̉̈́͛͂̍̾a̸̧̢͕̙̞̳̩͈̲͉͕̒̆̎̐̎̍̀͊͘̚͝h̸̡̼͓̝͕̫̤̰̱̬̣̗͚̙̀͜ and you were like "lmao shut up"

and like it did! because you made it shut up and also mans diluc was watching in his dark knight hero thingy

of course you noticed his presence from the beginning, you just wanted to piss him off and act like he wasn't there at all

you walked. straight past him like he was actually on the bridge in the middle and you just w al ked .

i mean ofc he gonna say something. and he did. dude said "who r u"

stared at him directly in the eye and said "the embryo made of chewed bubblegum."

he stared. sh o ck ed . what were you even saying

"jk im a resident of mondstadt, visiting from my liyue trip."

"and how do i know you arent lying?"

you sighed and grabbed your dendro vision, letting him look at the frame. "its incased in a mondstadt styled frame." after a few seconds, you put it back. "if that is all, i'll be going."

"k"

"literally fuck off" you responded and walked inside.

sometimes you forget how rude mondstadt people are lmao loser.

ok so like this donna girl really went up to you like "JFKLSJFLKSDJFL NUMBER ??? HELLO ?? UMM THE WAY YOU SAVED MONDSTADT RLKDFFC" and you resisted every urge to flip her off on the spot.

you just stayed and let her talk, smiling through all of it. your hood was still on but it was quite windy s ooo

its been ten minutes. girl please let us go. you were literally begging for anyone to cut in because ur too nice (or unbothered) to tell her to shut up even though you totally went off on diluc aadahahhshdf

and someone did! not the one you expected though.

"good evening donna, and... oh? who would you be?"

ALBEDO LMAO GET STICKBUGGED? ? ? ?? AH a hjfkahfjah . im so funny .

guys i meant that ironically please

anyway

you got even more uncomfortable lmao and you just looked at him and smiled. what do you respond? "no one of importance."

he heard your voice, saw your eyes and it registered. it was you...

or was that what he wanted to believe?

cause this whole time hes been waiting for you, only using experiments as a thing to pass time. it got... a little more lonelier, because nothing could replace you.

he decided to not believe it. because 1) you knew well they welcomed you with open arms, so there would be no need to hide yourself

(which is also proof of how much the whole situation fucked up your thinking)

a second of silence before he continues on the conversation with normal evening meeting stuff things idk

then ur like "ahhshaaajk i must be taking my leave now for matters i will not disclose ahaha skidoosh"

skidoosh

so you go to the big venti statue next to the cathedral and just stand. stare. yikes

no ones out right now and theres nothing to do. but you remember this place because its where the both of yall would eat together whenever he had free time (which wasnt that often, but he still made the effort)

you look up to the sky, counting all the stars like you used to.

no ones gonna know that you're here, you decided on that. you only visited because you simply missed it, but after this, you were going back to liyue.

no ones gonna know. because no one needs to know. no one needs to know that you were here. that would only cause more trouble to the situation you tried to avoid

albedo ends up catching up to you later, still having some spark of hope left that it really was you

i mean lowkey there isnt really anything saying it wasnt. he wanted to believe that he was just overthinking when he thought it really wasnt you

like you look the same. sound the same. its just the reasoning of you coming here, but he can push that aside

"(y/n)."

you flinch but didnt react with anything else. he doesnt need to know that its you.

"(y/n)?"

you turn around to meet his eyes as he was approaching you. slightly distancing yourself another inch away as you were not used to the proximity, you responded, "i'm afraid i'm not the one you're looking for."

albedo stops for a moment, and was about to apologize,, but then

yknow that wind i mentioned earlier? like right after donna started bothering you

yeah that same wind blew ur hood off! lmao L

okay time to get serious !

you stay composed and sighed, your breath visible in the cold air.

so your features are exposed, and its so obviously you, like theres literally no way it cannot be you

"it really is you..." he doesnt understand why youre not admitting to it. "(y/n), please.."

you shake your head and walk away but mans grabs your wrist gently

"(y/n), whats wr-" he starts, but youre quick to respond

"im not (y/n)." you flat out said it and looked right into his eyes. and you swear there were small tears even if he was deemed nonchalant.

he doesnt understand, its your physical features, and your same energy, there is no other person that completely matches it.

he pulls you closer to examine this black smudge on your hand, a small yelp of surprise coming from you.

"this is... ink," he studied the properties of the substance. "you responded to my letter a day ago. (y/n)... i know by now. there's no reason to hide it."

you step away, freeing your hand from his grasp. your voice broke, tears forming in the corners of your eyes. "i'm not... i'm not (y/n). i never will be. i'll never be so vulnerable again, i'll never be so naive again, i'll never be so lonely again, i will never ever be anything like they were again."

your vision blurred, but you werent oblivious to the tears streaming down his face as well. reaching to brush them away, you paused and let it drop to his shoulder instead.

"albedo. i... the (y/n) you knew... they're gone now. and if i could revert back to them any time, i would, i swear, but... i'm al-... they..." you buried your head in your hands. "i'm broken. to the point that i refuse to identify as the (y/n) you know me by."

doesnt know what to say, so he almost pulls you into a hug before you move out of the way. something you never did.

"don't... please. it never works out in the end." you shake your head, facing the other way. "for me at least."

"..we could work together, no?" he tried, still oblivious about your feelings towards him.

"only if you're willing to cross your moral boundaries," you looked back and tilted your head. taking a deep breath, you continued, "but you know that neither of us are willing to do that."

he couldn't say anything, because as much as he hated to admit something for once, you were right about that. at this point, he would've thought that literally any extent would've been fine to reach to bring you back.

yet in multiple situations where he's doubted himself before, theres always a line he will never cross.

"...i wish you the best. treat her well because i worked hard." you walked away without him stopping you this time. i worked hard. not we worked hard.

even if you had honestly felt that way, there was no chance the old you wouldve actually voiced that.

and so he watched you slip from his grasp again, only this time, he stopped himself from holding you back from his own will.

yet he swears- the next time he meets you again, he will bring you back.

[jackalopey]

im bored so im going to write up my rankings of the class stories, with my reasoning. please keep in mind this is just my opinion and no hard feelings if you disagree. going from my worst to best

8. bounty hunter

i simply did not vibe with it. to be fair, im not a fan of bounty hunter stories unless theres a twist, and im definitelyy not a fan of mandalorians (generally speaking), so it was pretty much set up to fail from the beginning. i did like most of the companions (skadge do not interact) though

what i disliked the most about it was the choices, though. i was trying to play a mostly light side hunter, and while i know that imp side characters are still going to make fucked up choices, i just really did not vibe with a lot of the options given

like, the one i hated the most, was having to kill that jedi at the end of chapter 1. like. it did not make any sense to me why the mandalorians wanted him dead. they were mad that he killed a bunch of mandalorians during the sacking. which was in warfare (and a dishonourable strike, on the mandos part). i didnt like that my choice was basically ‘kill him while laughing maniacally’ or ‘kill him but say its nothing personal’. i also disliked that even though i spared his padawan, it still made me kill her later. i dont know what they were going for with it

im hoping ill enjoy it more on a replay because im playing my character as dark sided and stupid bc its literally the only way i can make some of the choices make sense in my head

also while i liked most of the companions i hated how torian’s backstory was handled. i didnt mind makos though. i thought it was hilarious that we didnt find out why she had clones (unless i missed something ????)

7. republic trooper

it was fine. i didnt dislike it. im just not a fan of typical war stuff (yes i know the franchise is called star wars. you know what i mean). there was nothing specific that i didnt like, it just wasnt to my tastes

that being said, i did like that one mission that was a ladies night out, and i liked that it gave me a choice that actually took me 5 solid minutes to work out what i wanted to do. ik a lot of people dont like evil choices like that, but i do

i liked both of the romance options, and some of the other companions, but some of them were just kind of bland to me, personally. there was nothing bad about them, they just weren’t as interesting to me

6. jedi knight

i was extremely disappointed by this one. it wasn’t awful, i just had higher expectations, and i dislike how some people try to sell it as ‘kotor 3′ when it. isn’t. at all. i also don’t like that it’s considered the ‘canon’ storyline when it’s so average compared to some of the others

it’s not bad or anything. it’s just a typical jedi knight story. it’s exactly what it says on the tin. which is fine. but it’s not very interesting, i prefer stories with more twists

i do love kira though, so that gives it a lot. i also like the personality of the jedi knight, i like how they’re so full of themself, i think its very funny

i do think that there was a lot of wasted potential though, which is a shame

5. sith warrior

okay now we hit the ones that i actively like

my first impression with the warrior’s story was very bad because i tried to play it pure dark side and then panicked because i didnt want to shock vette lmao. i restarted with a light side warrior and had a very very fun time, the story was very unique to me, and i really like the ways you can characterise a light sided sith

im not a big fan of how a lot of the dark side options appeal to... a certain audience. if you know you know. but outside of that i enjoyed this story a lot, i didnt know what to expect going in but it was very good

i dont like quinn much though lmao dont kill me

4. smuggler

it was fun! i don’t really know how to expand much more than that. it was really fun to play. the smuggler is fun. risha is the love of my life. i simply had a very good time playing this one

personal fan of how inherently funny an outlander smugller is conceptually, also

3. consular

i feel like i’m betraying myself putting the consular at only 3 because it was the first story i played, it got me hooked onto the game and i really really really enjoyed it. but alas i must be honest

anyway. i enjoy the consular’s story i lot. i love the choices, i love the story, i love the puzzles. i love nadia and yuon and syo. the story was really interesting, engaging and emotional to me, i don’t know what to say. it just really hit me, so it blows my mind when i see that isn’t a common response to it. i also really loved the sages playstyle back when the classes were connected to the stories

also f!consular’s voice acting is soooo good, as a voice actor i’m impressed by like. the subtlety of it? the way she emotes but it’s so lowkey is hard to do but she does it really well. i vibe with it a lot

2. inquisitor

i feel like such a traitor putting this above the consular

but the inquisitor was just so fun. i know that it’s a story where a lot of the plot could be avoided if the character was less of an idiot, but unlike the bounty hunter’s, that really worked for me here. i thought it made a lot of sense for the inquisitor to make the mistakes they made, and i found them constantly just tumbling into the next problem really fucking funny

also how disconnected it is from the war is really funny to me. quizzi’s just out there trying to not get killed while a war goes on in the background

ashara is literally one of my fave star wars characters, i loooove her takes on jedi and sith philosophy so much, she’s so interesting to me

1. imperial agent

i mean. it’s a given, isn’t it?

i played it last and i’m glad i did. i like how everything came together. the story was very engaging, and it gave me multiple villains (zhorrid, hunter) who made me Feel Things and i’ve spent a lot of time thinking about afterwards

the agent is also, in my opinion, the smartest of all of the class story protags. and while i found the inquisitors mistakes very funny, something i enjoyed a lot about the agent’s story was the agent’s choices were consistently smart, often the things that i’d thought ‘oh she should do [x]’, and the plot progressed anyway. it felt like being outplayed, instead of having a limited protag, and i dont mind limited protags but idk it just made the whole thing really fun and imo fit really well with an agent

i loved kaliyo, also. her refusing to hook up with an f!outlander because ‘sorry i actually like you and i dont want to traumatise you’ is so fucked up but so funny

...and now i want to continue my swtor replay gdi

[innepttia]

F is for Friends who do stuff together (pt 4)

I just love Rolan Quarn. For @hanarinhightown and @thearchdemongreatlydisapproves ( @bonksoundeffect ). I missed writing these two! I really wanted to do one from an outsiders perspective. I’m so sorry I gave them such terrible IM names lmfao but I almost died at Dex’s. Trying a little too hard to convince everyone his name is Dexian huh

Please note: all these characters, except for Rolan and Dex (but also kind of Dex) are their own OCs. None are my creations; I’m just a fan.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Pt 4: this is a slow burn because they’re idiots (Rolan POV)

Rolan watched the pair in silence. They didn’t know he was back yet and he wanted to keep it that way for now. Being barefaced, he excelled at keeping hidden. He sat on a bench in a corner of the Presidium hoping that something would happen between the two men.

Nestor was working, standing with a straight back that hadn’t been softened by civilian life yet. In contrast, Cassius stood with a slight slouch, having actively tried to forget all the military rigor. Rolan knew Cassius had absolutely no clue what Nestor was saying, but he was hyper-focused on the younger man. 

“The humans brought this one,” Nestor said, patting a big leaf of the plant they were standing near. “They call it an Elephant Ear. I had to search the extranet for what an elephant ear looked like and it really does looks just like this!” Cass was nodding like it was the most sage wisdom he had ever heard. Rolan fought the urge to roll his eyes. Nestor sprayed the plant with a water mister lovingly.

“Is this one your favorite?” Cassius asked, very obviously trying to come up with something plant-related to continue the conversation. Cass shifted from foot to foot, fidgeting in his nervousness. Oh, Spirits, it was tough to watch these two be so oblivious.

“Oh, no. I mean I like this one because it’s big and human tropical plants are fun to take care of. My favorite plant is an asari flower by the Dark Star.” Nestor suddenly pulled his mandibles in tight to his face. Rolan leaned forward in his seat a little. “It’s right across from the entrance where you usually are… um, but it’s supposed to be a flower that only blooms when both of the moons on Nevos are at their peak. The asari councilor put in an order for salarian scientists to figure out how to get it to bloom on the Citadel though, and it blooms every night now.” Cassius was holding onto every word as Nestor continued rambling about this flower.

Cassius was soft when he spoke with Nestor. Cass would laugh and call Dexian a dumbass at the first chance he got, he would nag Rolan about where he was all the time, and when he was with Kirhil he did his best to ply the quiet turian with drinks to get him to spill the beans about his past. With Nestor? It was all gifts and warm, fuzzy feelings. “I saw this and thought of you so I bought it. Would you like it?” or “Back on Altakiril we used this to water our plants by hand. I got one for you.” But when Dex asked about the gift, Cassius said, “Friends just give each other gifts sometimes.” while not once giving any of the others a watering pail… or anything really. Hell, they all had to pay for their own drinks.

Incidentally, Nestor was using said water pail at this moment. He had moved on to water another section of the Presidium, Cassius trailing after him not at all like a lovesick fool. The groundskeeper was leaning over slightly to reach a plant farther away and Cassius’s eyes were locked onto the young turian’s waist. When Nestor stood back up, he stared at his water pail.

“Have you ever had such strong feelings for someone that you thought you would suffocate?” Nestor asked suddenly, not looking up from the pail. Rolan leaned forward even more. Maybe this was the moment; he would be glad to have been the one to witness it.

“...Yeah,” Cassius said, also looking at the pail.

“Yeah,” Nestor repeated.

Rolan was literally on the edge of his seat.

“So what’s your least favorite plant?” Cassius asked, immediately moving on. Rolan stood abruptly. He opened his omnitool and sent a message to the others.

[16:59] turiantrickster: We need to meet and talk about Cass and Nestor. There has to be something we can do to get them together.

[16:59] definitelydexian: Agreed. Let’s meet when Kirhil gets off work.

[18:05] nursekirhil liked definitelydexian’s message

[batarangsoundsdumb]

hae interrogationes multae respondeant quia demens .

if you read this entire ask post you deserve a gold star and financial recompensation

Um, Obviously because when you’re adopted by a white guy you automatically become white duhhh

this is about this post lmao and yeah youre absolutely right, you have to hand your poc card in when you get adopted by a white guy.

Do you think Cass would listen to Yanni, the YouTube channel epic symphonic rock, or some other stuff? There's some cool mashups but idk if that's up your alley, I kinda feel like I'm pushing it with my weird taste of music by recommending an orchestra cover of metal, but i just love that sort of thing and mashups :P @harvestyourcherries 

i haven’t heard of that? but in my personal (correct) opinion steph listens to classical music, and then both modern and older, and then also stuff like black sabbath, iron maiden, but also hardrock and hardcore. i like the idea of cass just liking the most extreme screaming songs full of noise and then also listen to pachelbel’s 370th sonata yanno? THANK YOU for the rec tho

speaking of ur cass playlist hc...reminds of the time (yesterday) i found 2 playlists randomly on spotify from the same user. one was abt 3 hours of instrumental/classical "dark" & "nostalgic" music. the other almost 11 hours of nothing but hardcore bass/synth/electronic music. just an incredible tightrope act to put on in public. the synth one was also called like "psalms for synth sluts" which is Also incredible

tbh i LOVE synth SO MUCH like for no reason at all but then also cannot handle a poppy electronic beat lmao. but this seems like the kinda thing i’d do but just in one (1) playlist bc i just sort songs by vibe instead of genre? that’s how i end up with britney spears and billy ray cyrus in the same playlist. 

Oh, I want Kate Kane playlist next! It would be amazing if you could do one when you have time and will 🙏

how rude would it be of me to just say no? like sorry kate but idk you and also you seem way too keen on the us military for an institution that homophobically targeted you? (and also commits war crimes) but let’s unpack the fact that the institution that caused the death of your mom and sister and also got you blacklisted for being gay is still one you align with???

'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' --- when i tell you i fucking screamed LOL!!!!!!! i can imagine the cameraman not knowing if he should cut to commercial or keep it on these two weirdos fighting on stage (bruce definitely ruffled dick's hair/noogied him right?? 

about this post but yeah lmao. this cameraman just turns to like the audience to get a reaction and it’s just multiple moments of CLEAR shock.

you are the only funny person on this hellsite

how egotistical is it for me to say that i get this ask multiple times a month? bc it literally happens so often it’s hilarious to me.

Wish there was more john/Bruce content 😔😔😔 was so hungry I actually looked at canon media 😔😔😔 (Justice League Dark babeeeyyyyyy)

check out batman: damned for some mediocre content but at least it’s john/bruce (also very interesting story and stuff, just got very >:( over this weird part where harley quinn tried to r*pe bruce or something? it’s not for everyone)

dick grayson but he's nicki minaj

his anaconda don’t want none,,, unless...... 

Dick Grayson was never a cop, he played Marshall on Paw Patrol

you are SO right. also paw patrol is a fucking good show idc. that shit could’ve been the new steven universe on this hellsite.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CS1lI0bLI7-/?utm_medium=copy_link

...

why do people keep reposting my CONTENT. if you are not funny yourself don’t just grab shit off of tumblr and post it on insta,,, get a life. sidenote: should i start an insta and get all these ppl to take my content down that would be funny as hell.

Might I suggest for a Gotham City Meme: something about the true crime fandom thirsting for the rogues gallery

ok can i just say something slightly controversial?? no? i don’t find true crime ppl who are into criminals funny, that shits disturbing irl im not gonna bring that into my very chill universe.

i may have never seen a 'jason cleaning guns in sink' fic but i do know he WOULD

THANK YOU

bestie im sorry to say this to you but while you can, and people do wash their guns in the sink, that is a lot of lead in a very vital part of the kitchen.

people tend to do it in the bathtub.

WHY???? like damn why do you even have guns

i dont think i read many gun sink fics exactly but i have read lots of fics where jason cleanes his guns in the living room. usualy dissembles them and cleans them with a rag i think

lmao fair enough, like i think that’s a large part of what i remember as well.

if you say you've seen/read gun sink fics I believe you. I think those of us who didn't see them are lucky or maybe didn't search for fics by tags or something idk

i mean ive never sought them out but i HAVE seen them,, like definitely i know almost for certain.

saw your tags and I'm interested in Steph/Kara now. They would be the most chaotic couple <3

literally thoooo, i have a wip where they get together in a zombie apocalypse and like UGGGHhhh i am so in love with them.

I am the Breece anon. Thanks for the recommendation; am reading now. I’ve always been a hardcore Superman fan because I love my pure himbo farm boy. My logic is, if one Bruce is a Broose, then multiple Broose are a herd of Breece. And this is a hill upon which I will perish.

fair enough,,,, like moose, meese, goose, geese, bruce, breece. i get your logic and i stand by it as well. (glad you enjoyed the comic recs!!!!)

It's a beautiful day in Gotham, and you are a group of horrible Breece

OH my god dude lmao

there only being 42 fics on ao3 for tim and bernard is honestly so sad i need more

it’s like twice that now!!! we did it lads. (tho very sad that my fic isnt number one but like number 4 :((((  )

i'm too late you already did the poll lol but may i suggest bethy (bernard + timothy)

shit dude that wouldve been so fucking funnyyyyy. think ppl have just stuck to timber tho, tim/bernard kinda died down recently and i think it’s too bad, they’re a great couple and i love them.

Wait, hear me out

Bernothy @redlightofdawn

great recommendation (lmao this ask is from like a month ago) but very sorry to announce that NARDTH is the superior shipname

Wait, we know that bernard likes milfs (Tim's step-mom) but what about dilfs? gilfs?

Wait no, I regret sending that ask

these were two seperate asks and they’re HILARIOUS. in my personal opinion tho,,, milfs, gilfs, dilfs are just about vibes and bernard is just attracted to sexy ppl who may sometimes be milfs, dilfs, or EVEN gilfs.

crime in bludhaven would drop to half if nightwing had a boob window. in this essay i will-

WHERE’S THE ESSAY ANON, WHERE’S THE FUCKING ESSAY

Wait if Barbra and Tim r at opposite ends at all times what happened to Barbra once everyone’s Tim’s ever love before started dying lol

she won a lottery ticket and spent 2 weeks on a resort in the bahamas before returning home and finding out that the joker was arrested for tax evasion and then spent a month staying at her big tiddie goth girlfriend’s house before conner came back to life and she broke her pinkie playing table hockey.

Why is the opposite end thing so funny and compelling to me. Tim comes back from his depression quest for Bruce and Babs is now a literal god

lmao when tim loses his spleen barbara reaches nirvana.

Are you still taking music recs because I have three songs that remind me of Jason that I think you'd like

send to me or lose a toe

🌸 ⭐ put this star into the inbox of your favorite blogs. it’s time to spread positivity! ⭐🌸😋

thanks, i wont tho on account of i wont.

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMduBy3Sr/

⬆️

This is the whole of Blüdhaven and everyone anywhere.

Nightwings ass alone saves more people in a calendar year and does more for so society than most heroes do their whole career.Also u are one of the funniest tumblr pages out there. The vibes are unmatched and the memes and tags ✨send me✨.Thank u and goodnight @julia-flow 

fanksss also lmao.

That's going to be a little bit difficult to explain, but

There's some music that you listen to and you think, "oh my gosh, I can perfectly imagine Dick Grayson singing this song, with the same voice as the singer because that voice matches with Dick Grayson"?

oh yeah totally lmao. i have a lot of songs that i think are just entirely dick grayson yanno? kind of all of my playlists have that vibe, but i really find bleachers to fit with dick? idk.

"Lois lane/Superman" fics this, "Lois lane/Clark Kent" fics that, (/lh) let's get into the real good stuff. Some people ship Lois, Clark, and Superman as a throuple. Most popular fic tag for sure

yes totally, i think they’d be absolutely killer on ao3 and clark gets so fucking embarassed about it.

I miss your post, hope you’re doing okay!!

haha this was like 2 months ago, but i was doing fine then too! just didn’t have a lot of inspiration in terms of content.

Doot doot!

noot noot

I’m confused. What did DC do now? Like with nightwing? And another sibling? Please spoil everything for me

lmao they gave him a secret sister plotline where they had his dad cheat on his mom with tony zucco’s wife, bc dick’s life wasn’t traumatic enough yet.

sorry but it's so funny that batman is called "the dark knight" when the gotham city baseball team is called the gotham knights. it'd be like if a vigilante was running around new york called like "the scary yankee"

lmaooo no. but like yankee comes from dutch names or something so wouldnt it be HILARIOUS if gotham knights came from like german names and bruce would be running around called the dark KLAUS UND NIEK @graysonnightwing 

(not a batcest shipper) it’s so funny to me that the responses are “i’m a batcest shipper because i can differentiate fiction from reality and and it doesn’t bother me personally, but i understand why you oils think it’s weird” to “i wish all batcest shippers a very fucking die”

yeah lmaoo. i personally basically flipped my entire stance around to ‘i dont care please leave me and everybody else alone’ bc i think there’s really no point in starting a moral dillema over some fucking fandom bullshit. Please just,,, go home,,, log off, find a nice forest to have a little walk in and remember that somewhere in history, somebody probably died in the place you’re standing. and you will also die someday, and somebody will have to look at your internet usage and see you fighting multiple people anonymously while being named ‘nightwingsbuttchin200186′ like... calm down, we’re all gonna die this is not the thing to worry about.

so since like "wards" don't really exist in modern society almost all the batkids are foster kids, right? i used to work in the system and imagine: monthly visits from social workers and guardian ad litems, bruce having to get permission to take the boys anywhere out of state, calling their social worker at like 8 a.m. like "yeah dick broke his arm again... a gymnastics accident this time...." their poor social worker. bruce send her a huge bouquet and box of chocolates every month to stay on her good side

i imagine the social worker just getting into the case like ‘yeah let’s get this kid a good guardian’ and then ending up having to work with 22 y/o bruce wayne and his 50 y/o dad. and so this social worker is like ‘okay we can work with this, this is the best home i can find’ and then like it ends up landing on its feet and then the kid gets adopted and then they get a call a year later like ‘uhm so hi, this kid tried to steal my tyres can i adopt him?’ and like 3 years later. ‘okay so basically, my neighbours’ kid imprinted on me and now they’re dead, can i keep him?’ two years later it’s like ‘okay so this assassin child-’

ever since I saw that one post of yours, the meme that's something like "I know that abba's backup dancer got me" with a picture of discowing, I've been haunted. Every once in a while I'll be minding my own business then the image of abba's backup dancer dick grayson aka nightwing aka discowing will flash in my mind and I'll be frozen in place. Today at work I was in the middle of folding clothes and suddenly once again discowing entered my mind and I suddenly lost the ability to see anything except He. Thank you.

wow. the IMPACT.

Braver than any US marine man props to you🤝

this shit is about the time i wrote an article on batcest, like man,,, the fact that i didn’t get cancelled is MIRACULOUS. also like,,, uh if anybody on here did gossip on me,, send screenshots i’d love to see it.

Hello, just wanted to say your article was great. Thank you for taking the time to provide an unbaised answer. It should provide people with nuances they couldn't possibly conjure on their own.

May I ask where your username originates from?

yes you may (also thanks!!!) i thought it up when i was trying to find an original username bc i didnt want to be called like ‘timdrakes something something’ or ‘jason todd something smoething’ or ‘dick grayson something something’ yanno? so i thought batarangs, they sound so dumb and that’s my username story... now it’s my whole entire brand lmao.

yno that bit in kick ass where red mist asks kick ass if he wants a hit of his blunt, was that the inspo for stoner tim

no? it’s bc i think stoners are hilarious and drugs are great. (dont do drugs tho) 

How would u feel if someone actually wore one of those bruce or ollie pride shirts u edited

fenomenal next question.

Dick as lil huddy and Jason as James gave me radiation poisoning and now I’m screaming crying throwing up so thx for that

(Rico suave as Tim is perfect tho literally no changes needed)

i was so funny for that shit wasn’t i??? lmao i loved those weird ass fancasts

You're doing the Lord's work by providing us with all these Gotham/Metropolis citizens memes, thank you for being so relentlessly funny @nellethiel-aranel

you’re welcome!! i really enjoy making memes, but getting validation for my content and my memes is REALLY nice.

Bruce is such a slut in your memes and honestly i love that for him @rhodey-rhudert-rhodes-main 

he’s that much of a slut irl too dw.

Bruce and Alfred have an emergency pride flag for the batkids. Oliver Queen printed an emergency "I love my gay son" t-shirt and as soon as Roy told him he was dating Jason, Oliver started wearing that shirt everyday and Roy always cringes when he sees it. Oliver also has an emergency "I love my lesbian daughter" shirt just in case for Cissie.

lmao YES i had a post like this bc like all of their kids/family members are so gayy

stop bringing back batfam fancasts it is not real it is not real it is not- 😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀

oh yes it is my darling.

did discowing burn down the notredam because he hates the bees? @allulily

no he did it bc fuck the french.

im gonna beg for 1 thing and 1 thing only. please please please put physical by olivia newton john on dick's playlist

okay then beg. bc i wont. physical reminds me too much of glee and that hurts me mentally.

your playlist is sorely missing some Madonna. Specifically Into the Groove, Like a Prayer, and Vogue

i’m scared of madonna that’s why she’s not on there. she haunts me in my dreams.

suggestion: son of batman by aaron dews for dick’s playlist🤩

sorry, i listened to it and the vibe didn’t agree with me.

Hear me out, metropolis citizens sending rare pair fics of Clark Kent x Superman fics to Lois to edit

yes, absolutely hilarious. even more funny if they send like physical copies, no address attached and lois sends it back marked with red ink, SOMEHOW

Imagine all the smut Clark must of read editing the fics

clark reads smut confirmeeed

NOT LOIS READING SUPERBAT PORN AND EDITING IT A 2AM 

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

hc that alfred is a meta that boosts healing factor of the people around him. if the bats are injured as much as they seem to be they would be doing bat stuff MAYBE half the year. no one including alfred knows about this. whenever the kids move out they inexplicably dont recover from injuries as fast and feel better whenever they visit the manor they just chalk it up to homesickness. bruce just thinks he heals really fast. alfred thinks everyone doesnt take care of themselves properly @finchcollector

that’s actually such a great idea, but i think that alfred would find out and learn how to concentrate it better so he can help more people, bc he’s great and i love him.

One of your dickfast posts reminded me of that tweet that goes: 'so you've had sex how many times? Yeah technically that's not a bromance' lol that's dickwally or dickroy

literally tho. like that’s all of dick’s friendships. once it gets past a certain time dick is like ‘wow i wonder what it would be like to make out with wally, wally come make out with me’ and wally’s like ‘we’ve done this like 40 times, dick, you know what it’s like’ and dick is like ‘sorry are you complaining?’ and they just make out.

superfam and batfam associations??

-batman and superman

-dick/barabara and supergirl?

-conner and tim

-jon and damian

pls enlighten me I am confused

nope,,, uhm batman and superman, but dick and superman as well, and then conner and tim, jon and damian and steph + babs with supergirl

I came across a fic in which Wonder Woman calls Batman "Stella" (like Stellaluna, the children's book) and I can imagine the batkids hop on the trend and maybe copies of the book appear at random places (aka, everywhere Bruce frequents)

sorry can’t reciprocate that was the name of my high school chemistry teacher and it gives me nightmares to think about.

good human what are your pronouns?

wouldn’t you like to know?

I need me some gothamites preferring harley over joker memes

everyone prefers harley over joker youre just very fucked up if you dont

don't understand why people try to add like veteran policy to the batfamily

dick pulling out his veteran batfam member card so he can eat first: step aside, peasants

Do you know the song Simmer by Haley Williams? It (the first verse anyways) reminds me of Jason? It's about rage.

damn yeah i LOVE HAYLEY!!!! youre right thoo

Okay so I like listen to your stoner Tim Drake playlist 24/7 but would he listen to skegss? Also I keep adding songs mentally it’s killing me 😩✋🏼 Anyways,, I literally love and worship your playlist 😃🤞🏼 And uh yeah have a good day ✨

stoner tim drake playlist is lyfeeee. also dont know who skeggs is? i’m stupid? have a good day!!

All the Robins (and Batgirl) decide to trade costumes for one night just to fuck with Batman and all the villains in Gotham. @subspacecadet 

batman knows it’s them youknow but like,,, what does he call them? he’s like ‘red hood?’ and 3 people answer and he’s not about to compromise some identities so he’s just Pissed.

I aspire to treat cops the way my dad treats them. This man is a 45 year old Asian immigrant to the US and the treats them like his pets. He talks about them like unruly children. Sometimes he pays off local cops to shut up and stop acting racist. And usually it works. I don’t know why but I can see Oliver Queen doing this

vibes... and also yes? oliver queen handing a local cop a donut to shut the fuck up lmao. but yanno i commit enough crimes to not really want to ever see a cop ever, so they kinda scare the everloving fuck out of me.

seeing as tim hasn't aged in years, that means he was 17 at peak emo tumblr era. im back on my emo tim bullshit and im not letting it go

emo tim had a wattpad account send tweet

People seem to think that batman is so dark and serious when the rainbow batsuit is right there. He wore it with no shame.

dude the 60s were a DIFFERENT TIME

dick grew up in a circus, jason grew up on the streets, and tim was probably raised by the internet

all of them cuss every other word and you cannot tell me otherwise

bitch i KNOW but dc has to change to an 18+ rating if they want to sell comix with swear words in them so we gotta deal with imagining the swear words in ourselves

thoughts on teen titans and young justice

haven’t seen teen titans on account of havent seen it and young justice was LITERALLY my favourite thing ever, tho i do gotta admit it’s not at all similar to the young justice comics unfortunately. i really wouldve liked to see timmy bart kon cassie and cissie animated on tv!!

ew ew ew how to delete batcest shippers I genuinely digust them

log off tumblr?

Okay as poc who was called racist for calling an Italian pastabrain: in the batfam are Italians bit Damian just yells various insults about the others being Italian. Just him yelling “What are you doing you moronic spaghettihead!” At steph etc

huh? i meant real italians. homeboy is telling steph he hopes she chokes on her fucking garlic.

I think it's dumb as hell to pull the batman is the best fighter in the batfam argument because like it's just irresponsible of Bruce to let his kids fight when they couldn't possibly be on his league or something

fair enough, but also like who cares they could all kill you just sit down and take a beating.

lady shiva, thalia al ghul and Selina Kyle are all milfs @notanothertimburtonenthusiastugh 

unfortunately, i have to admit,,, you’re right

why tf didn't someone give joker a death sentence already? like he's a mass murderer...give him the electric chair treatment wtf

idk i think plenty of people would have tried to murder him already (boring answer is: he is a popular character so they can’t kill him off bc he brings in lots of money)

There’s no such thing as “ copaganda”.

all american media is propaganda. happy to clear this up for you

is it bad that I find lady shiva owa owa

no. find her as owa owa as you want.

aight I'm guessing the order of your favs in batfam:

1. tim

2. Steph

3. dick

4. Duke

5. the rest

you’re wrong but it’s cute that you tried, i generally don’t have favourites, but i have a special place in my heart for steph, tim, dick and cass. bc they were like my introduction to batfam. but damian, jason, duke, bruce, babs and alfred are NOT FORGOTTEN OR UNLOVED

oh my god i was literally just readily willing to believe that italians werent white ty for clarifying it was a joke im so dumb sdkvjskdfs

i mean some italians aren’t white? italian is a nationality as well as an ethnicity, so like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

since I saw so many people doing headcanons about the nationalities of batboys, I see Dick as an Italian.

dont know if youre serious or not, but sure.

super random but

jason 🤝 damian

old english

lmao fair enough.

tim absolutely has 1 gay uncle and his parents shit talk said uncle all the time so after bruce adopts him he specifically reaches out to this uncle to be like "heyyyy just so you know you majorly influenced my life yes i know i havent seen you since i was 5 and at the family reunion yes i know you dont remember my name idc thank you im gay too" and then they never talk again.

yuppp lmao that’s definitely something that could happen. i can also consider tim having no family members, like none. until he does like a dna test and he realises he has like an aunt living barely 2 miles away from him who’s like some illegitimate child of his grandpa.

I dare you one of them sends clark superman/clark fic and clark corrects the shit out of it and then goes like ps his dick is not that big, just telling as someone who has seen it. internet either explodes or goes who tf did he not fuck at this point.

i think everybody would call clark a buzzkill and try to cancel him over that.

so you're telling me Tim Drake wouldn't buy Starbucks?

no. dunkin donuts all the way

One of my favorite things is imagining people finding out jason came back from the dead and being like "oh no does he have magic powers now?!?!?" and he just pulls out a gun and tries to shoot joker

now he doesn’t even have the gun :) lmao

my favorite batfamily fanfictions are the ones where they use their shitty codenames, unironically, in any context

bruce gets codename ‘ugh’ everytime. he hates it.

crazy that tim being a 17 y/o ceo and a stoner who does brand deals are all actual canon things written in detective comics comics and not made up for shits and giggles by you, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb @rowdeyclown

SO CRAZY HUH?

batman au where everything is the same but his utility belt is bright pink

absolutely, but i raise you, his boots light up like sketchers when he kicks people.

unbeknownst to the superhero fandom writers in the dcuniverse, clark and BRUCE are one of the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag on ao3. clark writes the best lois x superman angst, full of unhappy endings and scenes that are a so detailed you'd think you were in the middle of a superhero beatdown. bruce made an ao3 account to fuel "the do the butts match" thing, and makes batman/bruce fics from time to time. he wrote a superbat fic as a joke but ended up making it REAL porny. @concrastinator

dude they’re WAY too busy for that. Oliver Queen and Hal Jordan on the other hand are the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag writing what is Mostly porn.

When the dining table topic gets to politics, Steph says "eat the rich" as the solution

bruce just silently takes away her fork and knife while she’s talking.

[whatthefuckisasweep]

Grif

For the character ask! Sorry this took me a while, I can't copy and paste on mobile, so I waited till I got on desktop tumblr! Thank you so much for asking about him, I could go on forever lol so this is gonna be fucking LONG. Please, anyone, feel free to ask about any other character, too. These are fun.

Why I like them: Grif is, for lack of a better word, complex. On one hand, it's like, okay he's just a funny comedy character. But on the other hand, he's like every all of my favorite archetypes of a character. He's crafty but stupid, selfish but selfless, antisocial but friendly, the straight man but the dramatic guy, he's snarky but oddly caring: the reluctant hero. It's kind of paradoxical, and I feel like not only do I relate to him, but I just really enjoy him overall. Whether it's because he's a good brother, being a complete dickbag because he doesn't know how to handle emotions, being a complete cynic on the battlefield, or being hyperactive and snappy, it's just... ah. He. Everything in his life just happens, and he has to deal with it, and yeah he'll kick and pout and probably eat everything but in the end, he's gonna choose his family and he cares deeply... even when he can't really show it.

Why I don’t: I see this a lot in myself too - the fact that he's impulsive and inherently negative when he speaks specifically. his words don't match his actions. He often doesn't hesitate when it comes to making negative comments because they are easier than saying something nice, but what his intentions are are completely different. in other words, he's a jerk, lol. Especially in season 15. I know people felt bad for him because he was partially right and went insane on Iris, but he lowkey deserved it. He said he hated his friends, and even his closest friend. He didn't want to admit that he was a good person just because he didn't want to help. yeah, it was valid, but he needs to learn how to make a case without fucking everyone emotionally and being so clammed up. >:/ sometimes it feels like he regresses in character, as much as he's matured. i guess that's realistic and just the writers making comedy, but also the way he handles Doc specifically irks me. so mean spirited for no reason, as funny as it is.

Favorite episode (scene if movie): OH MY GOD, okay, literally, every single episode with Grif starring as a main is fucking gold. I think for this I'm going to say, uh, This One Goes to Eleven. Even though it's not Grif-centric, it's the episode that's my favorite overall because it introduced me to RvB and made me like Grif right away, simply because he was attacked so much and I felt so bad for him. Another great one that sticks out right now in my sleep deprived state, is Grif does a Rescue. Augh. And the episode where Grif and Simmons get stuck underground in the caves.

Favorite season/movie: Season 8 (shotgun!!!, hyperactive ai grif), Season 11 (hanging in the canyon with simmons), Season 4 (the tank and blue simmons w/ grif), Season 5/6 (kai and rat's nest), Season 12/13 (the recruits, grif building the snowmen), Season 14 (backstory with simmons, Room Zero), Season 15 (you know why)

Favorite line: OK, don't make me choose. There are SO many that are good!!! I think one of my most favorite things that Grif says is "yoink!" It's so adorable! I also really enjoy "BLUEEE TEAAAAM SUCKKKKKS" with his epsilon double, the whole "invisible nap" scene, "what are we, on a date?"/"I can tell you what we weren't doing", "no one made me, I made me", "WERE GONNA FUCKING DIE" when charging at the meta, "that's a figure of speech?" [when carolina says im so hungry i could eat a horse is a figure of speech], "dexta grif he who shall not be messed with!"... I'm sure I'm missing a lot, he has SO many snarky funny lines, but these are some off the top of my head.

Favorite outfit: LOL THIS IS SUCH A FUNNY QUESTION BECAUSE THIS IS RVB. HAHAHA. Uh. Season 6 probably. I just like Halo 3 Graphics. Also s14 Room Zero because THEY DREW HIM FAT CANONICALLY. THANK YOU.

OTP: I'm with the majority of people in the fandom who like Grimmons! I think Grimmons is the only ship that I really vocally ship with my whole heart besides OC ships. I just very much enjoy their dynamic -- it's very angsty, dialogue full, intimate yet so unspoken. It's just a really good pair to write about and see the development of through canon. And, not to mention... season 15... hrk...

Brotp: I really REALLY want grif/tucker, grif/church, grif/locus BROTP. SO SO SO BAD. I've always seen grif and tucker as bros, grif and church are HILARIOUS together and we were ROBBED of more time together, and grif and locus are fucking adorable.

Head Canon: I have a lot of headcanons about Grif, but one of my favorite ones is that he has half-lidded eyes, like he's always sleepy. I also headcanon him as bisexual, though I think that is a popular headcanon!

Unpopular opinion: I dunno if I have super unpopular opinions about Grif... maybe that I think that his labryinth wasn't as bad as it seems at first? A lot of people seemed to think that though, yknow. Like if you look deeply into it, it's actually kinda fucked. But I feel like we should have gotten the Hawaii scene anyways. Hm. I also didn't like how they altered the canon so that Grif wasn't drafted. I think it does add something to his char that he chose to go, but I always really liked the aspect that Grif didn't control that, and yet he still did this on purpose. He was good on purpose.

A wish: A badass Grif carchase scene for the love of FUCK. We need to have him drive more stuff !!!!!!!!

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: Have him betray the reds -- i think every other red has betrayed the team at some point. please god for the love of god dont do this to grif. it really adds and says something about his character that he doesn't ever betray his team.

5 words to best describe them: (eye roll) eh. fuck it.

My nickname for them: this isn't really my nickname, since I mostly just call him grif -- but 'gif'. It's cute, and my QPP came up with it! I also really like dex. augh

[wizkiddx]

i saw that you at least used to write for harry could u do another? like maybe im just a basic bitch but 'only one bed' trope or sm

Summary: honestly just me shitty attempt at the only one bed thing ahah with Harry Holland x reader

no warnings I don’t think apart from my ramabling :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

God you were groggy. It had been a long 16 hour flight and you were well and truly completely over this day. Once you’d had some proper sleep, no doubt you will be beyond excited to explore the forest and beaches of this remote island in Indonesia. You were certain it was beautiful, even if you’d arrived in the dead of night so you couldn’t see any of the majesty yet. It was one of the joys of being Tom’s makeup artist - travelling the world and being paid for it? A literal dream. 

Except maybe the previous 24 hours. The Holland name carried a lot of weight in the world, but not enough to control typhoons across the tropics - there were some limitations to his power. And yes first class lounges were nice but none had beds to crash on during the 6 hour weather delay. The four of you (Tom, Harry, Andrew and yourself)  ended up camping out in a out-the-way corner. Tom got the long sofa; Andrew in one of those weird egg line chairs; you and Harry splayed on the floor. Why you’d had to get up at 4 am to catch a flight that was now not departing till 12 hours later actually hurt to think about - especially because you’d all gone out for a meal the night before that had inevitable went a lot later than planned. 

Two connecting flights with a very angry baby later, the four of you were checking in to the only hotel on the island - which was now almost exclusively filled with the production team for Tom’s newest movie. It wasn’t especially big-budget with massive million pound overheads, instead a smaller scale indie film (that you privately thought might earn Tom a number of accolades). But yeh, shooting on an island that received almost no tourism meant everything was different to the usual. None more so than for Tom and his team (including you) who he normally would look after very well, with the nicest hotel rooms or rental homes. 

The hotel was basic, you’d known that before you arrived but seeing is believing is it not? Most entertaining though, was seeing Tom’s face. Andrew was a well travelled older guy, he had stayed in some shitholes in his life. Equally you and Harry had both travelled when you were younger (you through inter railing and him in australia), so had stayed in hostels before. But for Hollywood star Tom Holland? The way he tilted his head to the side as if to say ‘really this place?’ did lift your spirits momentarily. 

Andrew had got his key first, bidding you all good night with a grunt, then Tom - who still seemed confused as to the whole arrangements. It left you and Harry at the small dingy reception, the warm glow of an old lantern-esque light fixing illuminating the place. The guy behind the desk was a smiley local and greeted you warmly, if incorrectly.

“Ah and finally the couple I see!” He spoke with a thick accent but still very clear English which had you questioning if this was just a translational error. Harry looked at you instantly, his eyes wide which made you scoff - him joining in, shaking his unruly curly mop emphatically.

“No no we um… we aren’t together.” All the while Harry pointed between the two of you, communicating through actions rather than just the language, given that you were both the very typical Brits abroad who hadn’t learnt the language of the place they were visiting. 

“Still under Holland name?” The guy asked in a perplexed manner, flicking through a book filled with cursive scribbles and scanning to see if he’d made a mistake. He checked one, then looked up nervously before checking the same page once again- you saw where this was going. ”We, we only have couples room down for you though? 3 double rooms is the booking for Holland.” 

It was late, you both stunk of a combination of plane and BO, you both just wanted your individual and respective beds. 

“Well can we get another room then?” Harry didn’t quite snap but there was still an impatientcy to his voice, which came out whenever he was a little agitated. Seeing the slightly worried look the mans eyes, you leaned onto the desk with a genuine smile. 

“Sorry we know its last minute and its not your fault, we’ve just had a really long flight.”

“I am terribly sorry miss but we are only small hotel and Hollywood has filled us up. I have no other rooms. I am truly sorry sir, ma’am.” The guy went from looking worried to terrified as Harrys jaw tensed up, you naturally squeezed his arm to try and ground him, instantly deciding that you’d just work it out. 

“No no it’s not your fault, don’t worry we’ll figure it out. Can I just get the key?”

Harry stepped back and let youtakeover proceedings, signing all the insurance documents etc and asking the man about the breakfast arrangements and such, though you saw him furiously typing on his phone and by the buzzing in your pocket- presumed he was messaging the group of you Tom, Andrew and himself. 

Once finished the guy pointed you on your way, up two flights of stairs and down a hall. The whole time Harry was muttering about how useless the other two were for not replying and also for making the wrong booking in the first place. If only you hadn’t been the last two to checkin, then it would’ve been someone else’s problem.

He felt especially guilty just because you were the only girl-  he didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable, hence why he was trying to locate his brother so they could share tonight till they got it figured out. The tension, combined with sleep deprivation, was palpable as you both walked in silence toward the room - Harry was trying to formulate a plan in his head as they did so. And honestly? You just couldn’t be bothered to deal with it. So, once you reached the door 57 holding the physical key (old school, rather than a key card) you just decided to address it. 

“Will you chill please?” 

“Well if my idiot broth-“

“Oh leave him be for god sake. If you’re okay with it I really don’t mind sharing with you tonight?” Not bothering to laugh at his slightly shocked expression with mouth hanging a little open, you fiddled with the key until the lock clicked open. From the entrance you had a pretty clear view of the whole room and… well, lets just say dated would be a fair expression - when compared to what you were used to? The floor was tiled and the bed was a small double, with some funky and slightly washed out prints of blue and red on the cover. The pillows looked a little limp, more like glorified pieces of cardboard than anything fluffy and comfortable. The walls were that yellowy magnolia shade that everyone in the UK had gone insane for in the 80s and there was an old school wooden wardrobe in the corner. 

Home for 5 weeks. 

With a shrug of your shoulders you entered, dumping your personal and work suitcases by the far wall carelessly - the higher priority action being to collapse on the bed. Doing so with an overdramatic huff, you let your eyes close but payed special attention to the delayed footsteps of Harry as he entered, then the slight creaking noise as he perched on the other side of the bed - no doubt looking at you, at least slightly fearfully. 

The relationship between you and Harry was complex to say the least. Well no… it should be, not on the face of it. You had met through work and made friends. And you wished it was that simple but alas, nothing ever really is. When you’d first worked with Tom you were in the tail end of a relationship you had long since forgotten about - literally meaningless, not worth the time and effort you’d put into it. From the start you’d had a feeling Harry was more interested in you than the average co-worker (even if your job and therefore co-workers were anything but normal and average) but you were in a relationship so nothing ever came. 

Then almost as if synchronised, just as you got out your relationship, Harry threw himself in the deep end with a girl he’d met through his family friends. Then the roles were somewhat reversed, you now spent a good chunk of your day just entertaining yourself with thoughts of the curly headed, slightly awkward, very-passionate-about-tea-making Holland. The cliche is so real - your always want what you cannot have. 

However, a couple months ago his relationship had fizzled and faded away leaving both of you in a sort of no mans land. The sort of not wanting to ruin the friendship situation. The subject was never broached by either you - except you assumed he was being tormented in a similar way to how you were by his big brother and Andrew. Never publicly, yet whenever you found yourself alone in a room with one of them (being Tom’s makeup artist that happened often enough) there would always be a sly dig. The chemistry was  so ‘obvious even a blind man could see it’. Somehow though, weeks of this and your were still stuck. Stuck in the middle. 

“You sure you’re alright with this?” His voice was gruffer and hoarser from the long journey but you could hear the self-consciousness and naivety in his tone, without having to peel your eyes open and look at his face. 

“I know your not a murder and plus, we shared the airport floor this morning… this is pretty much the same.” He hummed in acknowledgement so you carried on “and plus your pint sized.” That earned you a playful shove in the side as you sniggered, before pulling yourself up so you we now sitting next to him, legs hanging off the edge of the bed. His brown eyes searched deeply into yours, as if physically checking for any hint of regret or hesitation. “Don’t even dare offering to go on the floor.” 

“Okay okay okay!” Holding his hands up in surrender, you both laughed, breaking the peace of the late night of the remote Indonesian island. Once an impressive yawn interrupted you though, Harry proclaimed it was time for bed and shooed you into the bathroom to get changed and sorted. 

Honestly you were too tired and lazy to dig out your cleanser and skin stuff, instead opting to just splash a bit of water on your face before swapping into your pj shorts and an old tattered oversized tee. Once done you and Harry swapped, him coming out a couple minutes later in basketball shorts and a black loose fitting tee. 

It wasn’t awkward so to speak, more a sort of excited-tense atmosphere, which there was no doubt Harry was mainly responsible. The boy was jittery and on edge, which to put simply, you didn’t have the energy to reciprocate. 

With a quiet wish of goodnight to each other, Harry flicked off the bedside lamp and you both rolled to your respective edges of the bed, a large space of no mans land between you. In the middle. You know the first time you share a room with someone and you overthink everything? When you don’t want to move about or fidget too much in case it disturbs the other? When your listening intently to their breathing, in the hope it’ll even out and only then will you feel able to fall asleep yourself? 

Well it doesn’t work when both of you are doing it. When both of you are professional over thinkers. 

God knows how long it took till you gave up, favouring sleep over your worries and concerns. So you flipped over, no doubt rocking the whole bed, turning to face his back that was still huddled almost teetering off the edge of the bed. The only light within the whole room was that coming under the actually scarily large gap between the floor and the door to the hallway. It was just enough to see the back of Harry’s curls and you must’ve fallen asleep trying to trace all the torturous and windy routes of the strands.

///////////

In the morning the process of waking up didn’t come easy to you as normal for many reasons; the long day prior; the jet lag; the weird surroundings. So you stayed in this sort of blissful haze for probably longer than you should. Half aware but not really; half asleep but not quite. In the middle  of sleep and alertness. Therefore it took you longer than it should have to notice the extra weight on the dip of your waist. Not anything alarming, just a presence you were absolutely not used to. It was only when you shifted a bit to lie further on your back, that enough of a stimulus from the added pressure made you actually open your eyes blearily. And sure enough, a limp hand looked to have casually and unconsciously been thrown over your side. 

As if in slow motion, you traced the arm backwards - first with your eyes, but then having to twist your neck too. Only then could you fully see the browny ginger haired boy who was lowkey spooning you? It was certainly a way to fully wake you up, breath halted to a stand still in your lungs, in fear of disturbing him and having to confront what would almost certainly be an awkward situation. 

There was still a safe hands width distance between the two of you except for the rogue arm. Harry’s head was placed to the edge of his pillow, mouth slightly parted as his breathing slightly tickled the wispy hairs on the back of your neck. He looked so peaceful and calm - a difference to the normal Harry who, even on a good day, took great pleasure in meticulously picking things apart and being a bit cynical. It was part of his ‘charm’; but seeing him like this was a type of vulnerability he rarely chose to show. 

To be fair he was asleep, he dint realise he was exposing himself in this way.

Finding yourself a little transfixed (a bit creepy but hey) on the natural curves and definition of his face, you ever so carefully rolled over in the bed to face him. It stopped you from craning your neck and gave the sleepy boy a slight nudge, making him tense his arm a little more tightly round you. 

He settled quickly though, giving you ample opportunity to just observe what was going on . Both right in front of you… and what the hell was going on in your head. Because to be honest it was an overwhelming amount of emotion thoughts for the early morning. 

Somehow you must’ve eventually drifted off once again because the next thing you were aware of was a shuffling from immediately next to you. This time though, you were instantly aware of exactly the situation you found yourself in and chose to keep up the pretence of sleep - a little interested in how Harry would play it. 

You heard a small gasp, having to suppress a chuckle at what you imagined Harry’s sleepy and panicked face looked like. That lasted a couple of moments, before you felt him painstakingly slowly peel his hand from your waist and if you were being 100% honest… you heart sort of sank. 

What you had been expecting?- you don’t know and really there was really no reason to be disappointed. Yet, you still felt this deflated and disappointed feeling, hit your chest especially hard. Perhaps it was because of your focus on that emptyness that you forgot you were supposed to be pretending to be asleep./.

Because when he had delicately brushed the side of your face to tuck a rogue bit of hair behind your ear - your eyes flickered open.  Like a rabbit caught in headlights, Harry froze, his hand still hovering over your jaw. Equally, you didn’t know what to do. Because really… do friends tuck hair behind the others ears? And do friends look at each other with this matched expression of confusion and fear? 

It took a painfully long time (though in reality was probably only a matter of seconds) before the boy retracted his hand, suddenly sitting up from his reclined position down at you. Mirroring his actions, you both ended up sitting, facing the opposite wall, bodies closer than they needed to be in the double bed. Both still very much in the middle. 

“I er-“

“-No no don’t… was nice of you” He had been about to apologise which you didn’t want to hear. You didn’t want to hear ‘ I didn’t mean it’ - you wanted him to mean it. In response Harry nodded jerkily, and from your peripheries, noticed he was searching your face for any sign of emotion.

“Still can’t believe this all happened… I-I didn’t disturb you too much did I?” He sounded really nervous. You were never like this with each other. So static and forced. 

“No no… I slept really good actually.” Your register was quieter, waiting till you’d finished speaking before looking over at him with a self conscious smile. 

“Ah I’m glad… I um-I did too.” The silence returned and the atmosphere just felt sharp. It felt like you were quite literally walking either side of a knife edge. It made you chew on your bottom lip, playing with the slightly frayed edges of the vintage quilt. 

“Y/n- I look…” He’d bolted upright and voice was more raised than normal for the morning. “This is gonna sound so fucking weird, especially cos we’re literally in the same bed but... but I was thinking we could maybe go on a hike or something together?” What he seemed to be suggesting didn’t match the level of panic that was conveyed in his body language which confused you. And what the bed had to do with it… was yet to make sense in your head. 

“I think Andrew said we’re getting some tour of island this afternoon so-“

“ I kinda meant just you and me.” 

The penny dropped and it had you focusing all energy on processing what was happening - understandably causing Harry to only worry more with the lack of response. “I’m sorry if I’ve ruined ever-“

“No I-I….I’d really like that too.”

“Oh er… well… really?” The sheer shock made you giggle, feeling the two of you sliding back into the normal dynamic.

“Normally a boy has to buy me a drink before he gets in my bed but….” A mischevious smirk that spread across your lips gave Harry the final confirmation that just maybe you were interested too, making him scoff and quietly chuckle.

It was odd; mainly because this was the two of you being incredibly vulnerable and honest with each other - something that you hadn’t allowed yourself to be for fear of messing things up. And then one lazy morning, both with morning breath and slightly puffy eyes, it changed. For the first time when you looked at him, he really saw - and vice versa. You were still in the middle of something, yet it was completely different. 

This time you were in the middle together figuratively as well as literally. In the middle of the bed, closer than you needed to be, but not wanting to retreat - while you both just looked shyly and bashfully at each… Eventually you lips hesitantly met in the middle. 

[sour-n-salty-citrus]

Do you have any hopes for the season finale? I saw in another ask, you described the dynamic between rick and morty this season as "very weak, distant, and downright frankly boring" and I completely agree with you! I hope that, because this is most we'll see rick and morty interacting this season, it'll have at least a few moments of what makes their dynamic so interesting to watch.

(Ok i started airing my grievances with this season, which ended up being... long, so skip this paragraph (starting at / / /) to get to my thoughts on the finale)

Oh gosh I remember that ask (I think-). And yeah, maybe I'm being a bit overly critical. I'll probably look back on this season with retrospect, and a kinder, fonder view. Ik androgynousblackbox (think thats right) made a great point about it being the season FOR rickorty shippers. And sure, I agree on some bits, like Rick acting all pissy and partying the way you would if your ex got with someone new in the planetina ep. Overall though, i think my problem lies in that I was enjoying more individual moments than episodes themselves, especially the middle three. For example- Amortycan Grickfitti. Like, I really liked the idea of the Ship getting on a crazy adventure with Summer and Morty (and Chutback). I like the idea of a Beth-Jerry-Rick adventure. But put together, it's just kinda... meh? You know? I liked the first half of the Thanksgiving special... but it kinda dragged on after that. I get that they want to give other characters (particularly female ones) more attention, which is completely understandable and i encourage it(!) but I can't help but find it underwhelming. Like, Summer in the voltron ep was like- girl how are you STILL vying for Rick's attention! He's the worst! Haven't we done this already? (I will say though I ADORE how far Beth has come, props to her for continuing to seeing through her dad's BS. I was worried the character would relapse into a more typical s1/s2 Beth, and I'm glad she didn't). Some of these plots, funnily enough, seem more fitting of the comics (they actually had a voltron parody already). Fun and entertaining for two or three-something issues, not so much a 22 minute episode. i think most of my complaints come from the dynamic between our titular characters- ok, I know I'm very biased (I mean you can see it), but I came to the show primarily for their relationship. It doesn't even feel drama-fueled, just that they kinda... can't be arsed. I'm torn because on the one hand, they're unhealthily codependent and this separation is probably a good thing, but on the other... it doesn't feel natural? I'm not sure if that's the right word- it's like, season 4 had them practically joint at the hip, but all that's suddenly flung out the window. It just kinda feels like this "i got better things to do" vibe from both of them and its strange. The only time they both got a solo adventure (I'm classifying "solo" as an adventure where they spent a significantly large portion of time together, without the other family members) was in the sperm ep and Thanksgiving ep. And, well, in the Thanksgiving ep Morty felt like a side character in his own show, and the sperm ep... um. Yeah. I don't think it's AS bad as people were saying, but I was cringing the whole time (the second hand embarrassment for Morty was so strong I had to turn off the episode multiple times and return to it. It's just like- godammit MORTY). And I think there's good reason those two seemed to be the most disliked episodes overall. They're the ones RaM spend the most time together and it's... meh. Meh? Meh. I don't mean to say the season overall is bad (it has loads of good points, and its amazing for Smith family as a whole) just that if we're talking specifically about the dynamic between these two? Yeah, I wouldn't recommend a single episode from this season so far to use as an example of their relationship.

/ / /

There's one thing this season has been pretty good at, though. And it's showing us what happens when Rick is alone.

And that brings me to the finale.

"Who is Rick without Morty?"

Well... we already know the answer to that. Pathetic. Sad. Lonely.

This season has been phenomenal in humbling Rick. (And trust me I'm happy for it- every time someone beats the crap outta this shitty old man I'm like YES!!! IT'S WHAT HE DESERVES!). Ep 1 had his "nemesis" clearly besting him, ep 2 had Beth making constant digs (love her) and overall pointing out his extreme callousness and cruelty towards even himself(ves). Ep 3- when Morty shows interest in a girl and ditches him (like seriously it's not like he's moving out, chill) he immediately goes on a bender and develops a deep attachment to the first person he can (wearing yellow, funnily enough). Ep 4, he devotes himself to becoming an "honest man" for his new child, only for it to instantly be taken away from him. Ep 5 highlights how RICK is the asshole for making fun of and taking advantage of someone well-meaning and honest, if "simple", and how literally not cool that is. Ep 6 has his crazy rivalry with the president, and they both get smacked down a couple pegs for that. Ep 7 shows what happens when he allows himself to get carried away, and that he can end up driving everyone else away in the process (lucky they still wanted to save his ass when he needed them). And episode 8? Hooooo boy. Episode. 8. We see a direct parallel in Birdperson with Morty, and the whole "Rick and [insert] 100 years!" Rick has few people he cares about, arguably only one or two that he truly devotes himself to, but when he does, boy does he go HARD. We see younger Rick, optimistic, energetic, friendly and hopeful. And we see all of that crushed in minutes. Rick is desperate for a companion, someone to see the stars with. He needs someone there, someone he can trust and rely on to stay. Someone like Morty. So without Morty, who is Rick?

No one.

And the thing is, Morty doesn't need Rick anymore. Not like Rick needs him. In season 1, Morty was this bright-eyed kid who was new to the cosmos and the multiverse, who needed his grandpa there with him as they explored all these places together. But that's not him anymore. That's not them.

The promo has Morty using the portal gun to go somewhere w/o Rick's permission (i like to think it's boob world lol). It doesn't matter to me as much where he's going, as much as he's doing it alone. He doesn't just not need Rick there, he doesn't want him.

(Also correct me if im wrong but I've missed that sweet portal gun so much. I think the last ep was like- the first time this season we saw it).

Morty's response to Rick? "Replace me!". And wow. Wow. WOW. Morty doesn't give a FUCK! I think Rick thinks that because he's so smart, that he can offer so much, that Morty will come crawling back, and I don't think he will.

Hopes for the finale! Hmm. I mean, I definitely hope "evil" Morty makes a reappearance, haha. I think we all do tbh ;). I want to see some Morty development too, this season has been very Rick-centric (not that there's anything wrong with that!) so I wanna see what's in store for Our Boy. I really hope we get to see the Citadel again, and see the state it's in, but I doubt it. We know something super big is in store, it's just a question of what? Other hopes I have is some Summer + Beth action (please let them team up Im BEGGING) and Jerry too ahaha. I'd love if some other side characters made an appearance as well. Oh- I'm definitely expecting a dramatic cliffhanger at the end of the first half leading to the second half, with the kind of angsty music that leads into the credits (pls that shit is so good (OH WAIT imagine if it was like, for the damaged coda, but like- the chopin version or smth so it could be more subtle maybe bruhhhh)). Ok haha, maybe that's asking too much, the writers made it clear in the story train ep that they weren't gonna do that big dramatic showdown (... unless 👀). Oh, I'd also love some Premium Angst too, like someone getting kidnapped/nearly dying (like ACTUALLY nearly dying). These stakes better be so damn high I could spear a man on them! OH, also I remember androgynousblackbox (is that right? I hope it is) mentioned something along the lines that they could be driving Rick and Morty apart this season in order to have them come back together stronger than ever in an explosive finale, which, I'm strongly hoping for myself.

Thanks if you made it this far! If you have any thoughts on or hopes of your own for the finale please feel free to share! :D

[arhvste]

Hi! I saw your Dad hcs and istg I wanted more 🥺 can you please make a part two with Sakusa (God i love this man) Hinata, Bokuto and Ushijima (do add more if you want) your works are amazing but the Dad hcs got me 💘

i re-read all my work last night and i consciously kept spelling sakusa’s name wrong 🤠 like i know his name i know what it sounds like but i kept getting mixed up between sasuka, sakura and sasuke because they all look the same to me 😳 I'm sorry sakusa pls forgive me 😼

also i will be doing ushijima in a seperate post for dad hcs with two other haikyuu boys a bit later so dw i haven't accidentally missed or ignored it! :) 

-

SAKUSA, HINATA AND BOKUTO AS DADS

-

SAKUSA

the two fo you only have one kid so far

a 3 year old girl 

you plan to extend your family soon though 👀

you already KNOW this man gets your kid every vaccination available for their age 

he is very protective over his daughter 

boys near her daughter at the playground

NOT on his watch 

he will simply scoop her up and suggest she play somewhere else 

this man doesn't care how mean it may seem

he’s not having his precious daughter surrounded by disgusting b-boys 🤮

“have they had their flu jabs? when was the last time they washed their hands? they're breathing their gross little germs too close to her”

“sakusa, they’re 3.”

sorry but no dating for your daughter 

sakusa teaches his little girl the concept of “boys have cooties” from a very young age 

this man is nothing but proud when that concept sticks with her 😈

“d/n, are you excited for pre-school?”

“daddy said there's going to be boys and boys have cooties so no 😠”

as she gets older though he does become more lenient with her and who she makes friends with 

he’ll secretly love it if you brought her to his games

he’s not huge on pda at all

but he won’t mind being caught on camera embracing the two of you when the team win 

atsumu is not allowed near your daughter when she’s a baby

“omi omiiiii why can’t i ‘ave a look t’cha daughter?”

“because she has been vaccinated and i fear your disgusting germs may be strong enough to over power it”

when she gets older though she straight up approaches atsumu on her own 

“so you’re the rat my daddy talks about a lot? you don’t look like much of a rat?”

atsumu doesn’t know whether he’s flattered that sakusa talks about him or offended that he refers to him as a ‘rat’

he won’t encourage your daughter to play volleyball

he wants her to pick her own hobbies and not feel pressured by his influence on picking an activity she’ll enjoy

secretly hopes your daughter takes up an individual activity like painting or something to keep away from other germ infected kids

but if your daughter does happen to pick a team sport he doesn't complain

she just has to wash her hands before she comes home and have a shower when she comes in

he is a very very proud father 

he may not be very expressive about it 

but he absolutely brags about his kid to other people

“my son won maths star of the week!”

“yeah? well my daughter won student of the year, highest achieving in her class and had 4 boys confess to her this week so”

he does make sure his daughter knows he is very proud of her despite his petty bragging

anything she does he takes pride in her 

it’s her who makes him want to have another kid

so get ready for round two y/n because when sakusa wants something he’ll make sure he gets it 😼

-

HINATA

now, you may think hinata would be nothing but pure chaos with his kids 

but

he is actually very responsible 

it’s hardly a surprise though because he grew up with a younger sister whom he took care of a lot 

from the second your triplet boys are born hinata is on it 

at first when you found out you were having triplets your mind went blank

“so like, 3 little shoyou’s running around my legs? 😀”

“ma’am are you okay?”

“i’m finE :)))”

surprisingly  two of your sons took more after you

but the youngest one 

phew 

he doesn't have an off switch 

he’s just like his father 

but that’s what makes him so loveable too

hinata is a doting dad 

he also encourages his kids to go out and make as many friends

he explains all the opportunities he had growing up and how far these opportunities took him to reach is goal

and this is all because he was open to meeting new people and being friendly with them

he makes sure his kids grow up with lots of aunts and uncles surrounding them

he wants his sons to grow up in a close environment 

your kids have so many aunts and uncles because hinata makes a new friend everywhere he goes ufshfi

your oldest son takes a liking to kenma the most 

your second oldest takes a shine to uncle oikawa

and the youngest?

uncle kaegyama ofc 😈

lmao when kageyama holds one of your sons for the first time he holds it by the leg with a straight face 

nobody thought they’d ever see hinata having to show kageyama how to hold a baby properly 

kageyama is lowkey excited he’s the fav but he’s so awkward fjishsgjh

bring your sons to his games 

he will absolutely smile and wave at his kids whenever he scores

and will pull them out excitedly into the arena when they win 

he has you all plastered on his social media 

he thinks everyone should know that you guys are the light of his life

he already had a fulfilled life before his sons but you gave him a whole new concept of love and excitement when they were born

you guys will totally take a vacation to brazil at some point 

hinata wants your family to meet all his friends over in brazil too 

hinata is mr worldwide 😎

with hinata as a dad, your kids will grow up in a very nurturing home

he wants the best for your kids and will teach them from an early age that any goal is possible 

and he’ll support them in every single way he can

-

BOKUTO

hinata as a dad isn’t chaos 

bokuto as a dad certainly is

he’s basically a child himself 

you guys have 2 kids

a 5 year old son and a 6 year old daughter

bokuto will try and BEFRIEND your kids

“kou baby, they're your kids not your friends”

“uh says who?”

“biology??? their dna?? the birth certificate??”

he literally lets his kids do whatever they want forcing you to be the bad cop (im so sorry)

your kids want ice cream for dinner?

consider it done

they want to adopt a snake?

bokuto has excitedly taken them to the pet store to pick out one each

you’re always the one who has to say no because if you didn’t these kids would be off the r a i l s

the first time your kids cries he cries

the first time your kids talk he cries

the first time they walk he cries

he’s full of emotion and the love he holds for your kids is often expressed through tears of happiness

when you leave bokuto and the kids alone 

things will go smoothly

until one of them starts crying and bokuto can’t stop them

then the other one starts crying and he is clueless on what to do 

he doesn’t want to call you because he doesn’t want to look pathetic 

so he calls the next best option 

uncle akaashi 😼

akaashi is like a walking parent website hfdjbgu

he literally instructs bokuto on what to do through the phone 

and if they still won't calm down akaashi will just sigh and agree to come over

you come home to the sight of akaashi reading a story book to your two kids who are staring up at him in awe from the floor

along with your husband 

“am i interrupting?”

bokuto will break out into smiles and practically pounce on you when you come home

“everything was under control wasn’t it? right akaashi?” :D”

akaashi will just sigh and give a small smile

“yes bokuto-san, everything was under control”

you give akaashi a small smile of apology and he’ll often join you for dinner

yeah your kids spend a lot of time with uncle akaashi but you know who’s adamant on being the favourite uncle?

uncle kuroo ofc 😎

he will spoil tf out of your kids 

we love rich, capitalist uncle kuroo

and he’ll tell them things about bokuto to irritate him

“kids, your dads a criminal he doesn't pay his taxes”

“taxes?”

“money everyone has to pay the government - basically it’s illegal and i think you should call the police on your dad 😈”

you actually have to stop your kids from calling the police on their dad fbhjdsfgu

again, another dad who wants nothing more than for his kids to come to his games

“HEY HEY HEY THAT”S MY FAMILY!!!”

no boundaries with pda

will pick you all up and shower you all with affection when they win

would love if your kids took up volleyball

would tell them it’s the best sport to play 

and they actually listen to him hduigefuiew

your son becomes a middle blocker 

and your daughter becomes an ace 

bokuto could die from happiness 

he will absolutely teach your kids and play and bring them to msby practices so they can watch up close and play along too

if bokuto is the father of your kids 

good luck but have fun with it

because while yes, he is still your big baby that needs taking care of from time to time

he is also an extremely loving father who would gladly give his kids the world and all the stars

[vslattae]

ALL I COULD EVER WANT

ɪᴛ ᴀʟʟ sᴛᴀʀᴛᴇᴅ ʙᴄ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʙʀᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ʙᴇᴄᴀᴍᴇ ᴀ ᴋᴘᴏᴘ ɪᴅᴏʟ...ʙᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ɴᴏᴛɪᴄᴇᴅ ʜᴏᴡ ᴏɴᴇ ᴏғ ʜɪs ɢʀᴏᴜᴘᴍᴀᴛᴇs ᴘᴀʏᴇᴅ ᴀᴛᴛᴇɴᴛɪᴏɴ ᴛᴏ ʏᴏᴜ..

ᴀʟʟ ʀᴇsᴇʀᴠᴇᴅ ʀɪɢʜᴛs ɢᴏ ᴛᴏ ᴠsʟᴀᴛᴛᴀᴇ

Paring: Taehyung x reader

Warnings: angst like a mf (im sorry :( ), mentions of alcohol, fluff ( bc tae cares about y/n) mention of cheating, literally y/n becoming a mess, soft kisses, groping, breast worship, dry humping and yeahhh-

( welp...the first actual smutty chapter..so soon? and this is unedited asf i’m sorry)

chapter 4. Things change..and sometimes it’s nice.

———————————————————————

Once again the you feel the car stop and the light goes on in the car. Opening your eyes you find everyone getting out, jimin wraps you in a blanket with him to fight off the cold.

“ jiminnn it’s so cold why did we stop driving?” you shiver and whine at the same time. “ remember? ryujii needed to get off at the next town so here we are” he said stretching his arms around you attempting to keep you warm. Jungkook finally gets out of the driver seat making his way towards you his sleepy sister and manages to keep you and jimin warm.

Haru and Jin finally emerge out of the car, flashing a wink at you. “ hello sleeping beauty..boy do i have news for you.” she says giggling. Pulling you to the front of namjoons car... “well what is it..?” you looked at her while you yawned.

“ Well first off to start off the drive ryujii was whiney the entire time because tae made her sit up front...and he just kept babbaling about some amazing girl that he likes.” oh that made your heart flutter for sure but as yourself you deny any connection to you and laughed. “ okay good joke...” you scanned her face trying to find out if she was lying or not.

“ y/n...i’m not kidding.” she smiled.. “ but you on the other hand you look like a mess what happened?” she chuckled “ jhope drooled on pants so i have to change them but like i’m surrounded by guys.” she looked down at your pants to find out jhope really did drool on you-

“ come on sleepy bug change in our car..taes in there but he’s passed the fuck out.” she laughed. You hesitatly went into the car poking tae..

“ tae...psttt” you poked his cheek. “ hmm?” he opened his eyes slowly shocked to see you in the car. “ can you hand me a pair of sweats jhope drooled on mine” you pouted. chuckling he nodded “ yeah i can’t find your bag so you can borrow mine only if you come back in here so i can sleep good.” he pulled a pair of his sweats out and handed them to you. “ okay now no peeking.” you scolded him.

pulling the hoodie down to cover your ass, you slid off your jhope drooled sweats and replaced them with taes. “ okay i’m done...” tieing the sweats and slipping your vans back on... “ okay well i have pee y/n so let me get out.” nodding you both hopped out of the car letting tae go to bathroom and joining the others.

“ hobi you drooled on my pants so i had to change.” you whined again. “ oh my i’m sorry y/n...but haha were putting you back into jins car there more room. we were crowded although you were quite a nice pillow” he laughed. Taehyung coming back noticed how much you were shivering so he threw his arms around you so you’d stay warm. Haru and everyone else took note of that smiling there cheesy ass smiles.

“ so where the fuck did ryujii go..?” haru spoke up. “ she went home i guess i don’t fucking know” tae laugh. “ how many hours are we away id much rather sleep in a bed than sleep in a car.” you closed your eyes for a second as taehyung a head fell on your shoulder.

“you look so cute in my pants...” he whispered in a low voice. “ shhh don’t want to kiss you again t.” you whispered back.

“ alright everyone. it’s like 2 hours left let’s get back on the road.” Jimin said. “ jungkook sleep i’ll drive. you get the whole middle seat to yourself” jin said smiling opening the door to let haru in and getting in the driver seat. sitting in the back of the car again with taehyung his hand pooling over your shoulder... “ kiss me again..” he looked at you.

“ tell me about ryujii first than maybe i’ll kiss you again.” you smiled sleepily. “ you’ve met her you know how she is...i found her sleeping hooking up with a guy outside of our apartment.” he said pushing a few strands out of your hair behind your ear.

“ why didn’t you tell me that part?” you pouted at him. “ because you were so busy barking up my ass about flirting with you.” you giggled “ that cannot be true...i don’t always yell at you..” you smiled at him. “ that’s not a true statement either love..now where’s my kiss?” he cooed at you.

“ oh no that’s not how this works...” you layed your head on his shoulder closing your eye lids finally drifting back to sleep. As soon as he knew you were asleep he kissed the crown of your head smiled and fell asleep as well.

꧁꧂

Finally arriving at your vacation home which by now it’s around 6 o’clock in the morning everyone piling there bags into the house and picking out rooms...there was just one teeny problem...stepping into your room that you had just found out tae was in as well there was only one bed. and there was only one person to blame for that. haru.

“ i’m going to take a nap no one please disturb me thank you” you smiled plopping yourself on the bed.

Haru walked in and looked at you. “ hey y/n how about a little bet” she smirked and boy did this cause trouble. “what” you yawned looking at her with half lidded eyes. “so we’re going out and seeing as someone is a little sleepy tae decided to stay here with you...so i’m giving you until the end of the trip to confess for aroundddd i dunno whatever you want me to buy for you” she smiled at you.

“bet easy as pie you know” you giggled back at her. “ alrighty night night princess” she turns off the light and you finally toss over pull your hoodie off and roll over to sleep on your stomach.

About 2 hours later Taehyung comes to check on you..only to find you shirtless...curled up in a ball and lightly tossing and turning..he chuckled and kisses your cheek repeatedly.. “ y/nnn wake up watch a movie with meee” he whines.

“okay okay i’m coming..give me like 2 minutes.” you rubbed your eyes and jumped out of bed. “my goodness you made you so needy tae, i thought i told everyone to not disturb me..” you went into the closet to grab another hoodie. Taehyung noticed how you were still in his sweats, they looked a little baggie on you but you still remained the cutest short girl that he undoubtedly had feelings for.

Running into the living room tae was settled on the couch laying across it, while you came and sat on the floor. About half way into the movie you heard tae whine. “well what’s wrong?” You set your head on the couch peering at him like a little three year old. “I absolutely don’t get this movie it’s tragic.” he starred back at you. “Of course you don’t get it” you laughed throwing your hands to hit his hand lightly.

Taehyungs phone rang, he got up and answered.

“hello?” he looked at you watching the movie in awe as he continued the listening to his phone call.

“what. you still love me?” he walked back and forth.

“listen you know what happened so please don’t try and save yourself...you fucked up.And Do Not, i repeat do not bring her name into this shit thank you but you do indeed still have these so called feelings sort your shit out thank you and goodbye.” he hung up and made his way back to the couch sighing in frustration.

“so that was ryujii i take it?” you turned around to look at him. “No okay don’t worry about it okay?” eyeing him you ask him again.... “then who was it.”

“Didn’t i tell you not worry about...jesus christ y/n can you back off my shit for once?” you paused. What the fuck...frustrated you stood up and walked back into your room “you know tae..for once in my life i tried to be nice and let you in, especially after kissing you for crying out loud, I thought i really actually liked you..but turns out i know your still whipped for that ryujii bitch huh..” You spat that out and closed your room door.

You sank to the floor trying to calm yourself down, half of you wanted to just get up and leave but...you on the other hand had other plans. Getting off the floor you change your clothes into a hoodie and a pair of jeans and walked out of the room.

“y/n where are you going it’s the middle of the god damn day..” he looked at you eyebrow cocked as if he was testing you. “out i’m going for a walk.” you walked out of the house and somehow manage to climb the tree and neared the waters edge. The branch was stable as far you could tell, you just needed to think things out before turning back and slapping taehyung in his god damn perfect face. You didn’t even know how you liked him, you knew him all to well, he was the kind to get drunk on his off days and pull the prettiest girl at the bar while you sat in the apartment along with everyone else managing to block all the whines and crying of the girls he brought over.

Meanwhile in the house taehyung replayed that last part... ‘i thought i actual liked you but your still whipped for that bitch ryujii’ He had to admit that was the harshes you ever gotten with him especially for such a sensitive subject for him..

Returning home everyone came back and haru went to check on you only to find that every room you would have been was empty or filled with everyone else. “where the fuck is y/n” she perched up and asked taehyung. “she went for a walk she yelled at me because of ryujii and left. Jungkook waltz in and noticed that a bottle of soju was missing and he began to frantically search for his you everywhere.

Everyone rushed outside looking for you...

“y/n?!” “where the fuck are you!” jungkook yelled out fearing that maybe a fucked up person actually kidnapped you until he noticed your dangling figure up in a tree, bottle of soju in your hand and it seemed that you were just fine.

“i’m fine jk...expect...i cant get down.” you laughed. “Why on earth are you up there in the first place. you know your afraid of heights jesus.” he worriedly looked up at you trying to figure out why the fuck you were up there in the first place.

“well..” you laughed “i came out here to figure shit out...i just told taehyung that i liked him and he doesn’t even want me jk...he so focused on ryujii so i left the house and came up here because...” you started to sniffle. Yoongi took matters into his own hands climbing up the tree to fetch you off. “jesus y/n...you scared all of us to death no more tree climbing for you okay” he said in a monotone voice to make it seem like he was panicking either.

Once you were safely on the ground jungkook rushed to you and searched for any cuts that tree would have gave you. “i’m fine jk honestly” you handed him the bottle of soju and started stumbling into the house. You spotted haru and she ran up to you. there was a knock on the door...

“I’ll get it” you giggled and wobbled to the front door opening it. There she was..and how the fuck did she know where you guys were. “taehyung it’s for you” you walked back into the room as haru ushered to sit on the counter and watch what happened outside. It seemed like they were arguing...until she kissed him. For the first time you were honestly hurt.. “Shit” haru tried grabbing you before you could open the sliding door to the backyard. Taehyung looked a little taken back...dazed on what the fuck just happened.

“Is there a reason your here or what the fuck are you doing” haru went to look for jungkook before you broke something. “Is there a reason why the fuck you aren’t inside?” ryujii peered at you “I came here to have a nice time with my brother and my family and here you are. It’s like you can never leave ryujii. I honestly don’t know why the fuck you are here.” you spat out at her.

“please tend to your brother and stay out of my shit y/n...god you always ogled over taehyung and now your pissed because of what? Because i’m here?” she scoffed. Now everyone was outside listening to the conversation.

Jungkook finally rushed out to your side. “ you what’s fucked up? You wanna know why i’m pissed ryujii.?” she nodded smiling but soon that smile was gonna disappear in about 0.22 seconds.

“I was there when I saw you kissing that other guy while you were dating taehyung. I’ve kept it to myself for the longest time..he lost his smile because of you hell i was the one that came over in the middle of the night because jk rushed me over because god he was so drunk and was weeping over a stuck up bitch like you. He didn’t do anything but while you sat there and toyed with his heart for no god damn reason ryujii, and here you are back again for no god damn reason. You act like showing here is gonna give you another chance with taehyung but it’s probably never gonna happen. is that hard to figure out he doesn’t want a cheating whore like you.” Your eyes glanced towards taes. and there it was...the eyes half closed trying to forbid the memory. Everyone went silent hearing you ramble on but in the inside jk was screaming along with haru because your actually protecting the ones you love.

“God i’m so touched y/n after all these years you finally got passed the stage of annoyance from taehyung and your actually in love with him aren’t you?” you laughe booming the outside and you had to admit that it was starting to hurt your ears.

“Now to protect you from getting hurt I suggest you to leave now.” Your eyes starting to get a little misty from all the pent up rage that settled in the pit of your stomach. “Oh well...you wanna know something too y/n...while your heart ached for taehyung..i was still the bitch blowing his brains out he even told me how much he missed me...you can pile those feelings down-” Her sentence was cutoff due to taehyung pulling her through the house and kicking her out through the front door followed by you almost punting the chick thank god jungkook had a hand on you because woozy y/n is strong y/n... “please refrain from ever contacting me again ryujii and i mean it and yeah...everything y/n said is correct please stay out of my life and i mean that, goodbye.” he slammed the door in her face and walked into the bathroom.

Haru looked at you. “ god since when is drunk y/n such a bold bitch?” she giggled and pulled you into a hug. “ i’m proud of you especially from refraining to any violence acts you know.” for the first time in a long time you cried...you cried because you could finally let everything go the hiding your feelings and the guilt that built upside you, it felt like the monster that was sucking the life out of you was finally gone. or so you hoped she would never return..

Everyone surrounded you and made sure your okay. “hey goober.” jungkook looked at you. “if this means your fucking tae...gross” he laughed. “ew gross..” you scoffed. “anyways i’m still tired and i’m going to lay down okay..” you smiled at him. “go shower first..we still have a week here before we have to go back to the company i just want to enjoy my time here with you and everyone else okay.?”

༺༻

Around 10 o’clock is when everyone settled down getting ready to go to sleep..tae peered in at your sleeping figure. “you know how hard it was for me to not beat the shit out of your ex girlfriend.” you sat up “you know how long it took you to figure shit out” he laughed a little. “tae i’m sorry about yelling at you-” he cut you off.. “ it’s fine i just wanna take things slow..i’m sorry for being a dick i should have kicked her out when she showed up.” his face inched out closer to yours.. “ i do believe you owe me a kiss still..” his lips ghosting your ever so slightly.

“you want it now or a few more months later.?” you looked up at him admiring his face once again. he layed down next to you rolled over..

“heyyyyy what are you doing” you whined “ giving you a taste of your own medicine” he chuckled. turning over you climb into his lap. You put all your weight on him “stop teasinggg i’ll give your god damn kiss tae-” His lips pressed against yours, you sighed at the feeling him tugging against your bottom lip. “is there any other girls i should worry about orrr” his hands wrapped around your waist. “ will you just shush and enjoy this moment please.” he placed his lips on yours again tongues intertwined as he rocked your hips back and forth on him..

The feeling was erotic...and somehow you never thought that all this time here you were on top of tae doing gods knows what. A tiny whine came from your lips as he pulled your hoodie off to admire your top half of your body.

“beautiful..” he whispered out and there was his boxy smile again. “god your so weird..” you giggled at him as his lips attacked your collarbone pouring down until it reach the valley of your breasts. God this image of you eyes rolled back as his hands dug into your hips to attempt to get you off. Placing one hand on your soft skin he told his mouth and kitten licked your nipple rolling it his mouth back and forth.

“tae” you whined, “come here i just want to get you off you deserve it after all.” he looked up at you gnawing on his bottom lip. Placing you off his lap and pulling you underneath the soft comfort of the blankets, he slid off your shorts. “open your mouth” he told you softly and doing so he placed two fingers in your mouth for lubricant. “sorry to ask this haha but do you want to do this?” smiling and nodding you guided his hands down to your aching core.

Sliding your underwear to the side he came back for another kiss as he lightly pushed his fingers inside. “god your so wet baby..” he huffed out. “your lucky..i- fuck” pulling his face back to you his hand movements sped up whimpering at the pace he was thrusting his fingers into you. “Tell me how it feels baby” he placed his forehead on yours.

“so good...so fucking good” eyes rolling back as the spring in your stomach was about to pop your hand locked on his wrist as you continue to tell him how good it feels. He knew you were close when your whines got a little louder and your need to kiss him so you kept quite.

“let go y/n...it’s okay baby” he murmured in your ear. with a soft whine and your muscles tightening around his fingers, arm tugging at tae hoodie sleeve you relaxed. He slid his fingers out and placed them in his mouth tasting you. “sweet here taste come here” sticking out his tongue you placed it in your mouth and twisted your tongue with his tasting the juices that came from you, it tasted sweeter maybe because of the hint of strawberry’s taehyung ate earlier.

Finally in a sleepy state you pull your pants back on and curled up against tae. “so..you wanna tell me what that was about?” he kissed the top of your head intertwining his fingers with yours. “oh about the whole feeling thing” he nodded pulling you closer. “Hm...Let’s just put it as...i know i’ve been a dick to you only because i know how you are with girls tae, i’m sorry to say this but your kind of a hoe” you chuckle out.

“well that’s a bad way to put it y/n...lucky i don’t think i remember the last guy you dated, until jk knocked him out remember?” he laughed quietly. “ Yeah yeah i know...he was an ass, but anyways back to the topic...i guess you could say i don’t find you annoying all the time.” you gaze into his eyes seeing warmth and happiness that bounced off of him.

“hey i know that plus i know you enjoy my little pick up lines” he whispered slowly closing his eyes. “ your right i do sometimes...just promise me one thing?” you divert your attention to his hand on yours. “hmm?” he hummed out. “i swear to god you find another one of your ex’s gf show up...i swear i’ll kick you out with her so no more okay?” he chuckled sleepily. “as of now my little pipsqueak your the apple of my eye and i don’t think that’ll change anytime soon okay?” nodding your head you closed your eyes and drifted into a deep sleep wondering how this whole thing would go.

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a/n: woooooo the first smutty chapter is done. and tae isn’t that bad i guess but ryujii can suck y/ns toes :) anyways lmk what you think or if you wanna be on the taglist :) ♡︎𑁍

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@hantaev @strawverryxmilktae @serendipitysev