#hes like the size of a marshmallow

[tangential-hooligan]

Amphibiuary 2024- Day 9: Cowboy

his name is hernando and he is the toughest and tiniest lil guy in the wild west and he lives in an old cowboy boot 🥺🥺🥺💖

[cubbyhole-for-flea-bee]

what if NMJ just poofs into an owl when qi deviations loom tho

Bonus from a later reblog:

FWUMP

[brb-on-a-quest]

just accidentally unfollowed and refollowed your side quest writing blog trying to figure out if i could send asks to it. so if you see a notif for that that's what happened.

Anyway, here's a fun question for you whenever you feel up to answering it: what's Lily Holland's favourite book?

(hang on can five year olds read??.... you know what she's smart i bet she can at least a bit. or maybe her mom or mr. marshmallow reads to her. the question still stands.)

Lmaooooo thanks for reminding me that is a setting I have to enable (also literally no worries at all have followed and unfollowed and followed again multiple ppl because I am as ancient as the wind and have the technological skills of a blind bat; many thanks for tumblr being very patient and kind with me); so it should work now (feel free to test at some point).

Hmmmmm, I'd argue that Lily isn't really much of a big reader (she can read, but she struggles with it because none of the books her reading level are interesting to her). She's more of a hands-on imaginative arts-n-crafts (she's just gotten into sewing because she loves people's pretty dresses; this will be a hobby she will keep forever), baking (for tea parties), cosplay (as a result of sewing and fashion), etc.

She is, however, very fond of making Mr. Marshmallow read her stories (this is another reason why people are convinced Mr. Marshmallow and isn't real because what kind of dog can read? they are also convinced that Lily is faking not being able to read as well as she can because how is this child so knowledgeable but still struggles with words? *Cries in my baby is not a homeschooled bean.*)

Mr. M often finds himself in a quandary every once in awhile because Lily's propensity of finding things she really shouldn't be allowed to is very strong (how in the infernal did she get her hands on a real Necronomicon, and why does she have "The Monster Hunter's Almanac") and Mr. M now has to either redirect her attention (he is really not paid enough for this) or "read" (aka lie his way through the pages and dread the day that her reading skills get good enough to catch on).

Their current favorite compromise between fantasy/fairytale and creepy is reading some Grimm's fairytales. Also Mr. Marshmallow will tell a lot of his own stories as a working hellhound (the toned-down PG version, ofc).

obligatory tags

@igotthisaccountunderduress @informedimagining @gracefulchristiangirl

[syxnewt]

?

oh lawd

[gallusrostromegalus]

The Van Has Officially Declared It Spooky Season

---

I've got my parent's van for the week and it seems determined to establish my status as The Local Cryptid by terrorizing an innocent 7-11 clerk.

...I might need to back up a bit.

My mother is an eminently sensible woman who knows herself well, and when The Plauge hit, she knew she'd need some sort of mentally and physically engaging craft project to keep herself from going insane and massacring the local zoning and water management boards (even if they have it coming). So she and Dad acquired a utility van and converted it into a camper van because while they love camping, they're past the age where their joints and immune systems will tolerate sleeping on the cold ground in a nylon tent.

They did a terrific job of it and my mom taught herself woodworking and carpentry and now the van has it's own cabinets, fold-away dining table, and removable queen-sized bed with memory foam mattress. My Dad was already a computer engineer, but he learned the dark magics of automotive software and electronics to install after-market backup cameras, a media player that would take a terabyte hard drive and a solar-powered battery and outlet so they could wake up and just turn on the kettle and griddle for breakfast without having to exit the van into a cold morning on an empty stomach.

Truly, the height of Camping Luxury.

My parents are both in their mid-seventies and my primary life goal is to be at least half as cool and hale as they are when I get old.

Anyway, they take it out at least a dozen times a year and it works fabulously, but, being as I am on good terms with my parents and also finishing the process of moving house, I've been borrowing it to move large and cumbersome objects that will not fit in the back of my equally lovely but minuscule Honda hatchback.

It's a Great Van. Very easy and comfortable to drive. Stunningly good MPG for it's size. The best cruise control I've ever had in a car.

It's just also. Quirky. Mischievous, even.

---

If this van has a fault its that it bears the unfortunate affliction that all lightly used white utility vans have in that the combination of an utter lack of branding features and the large dent/scrape I accidentally put on it while trying to escape a Denny's last Thanksgiving means that this vehicle is one addition of a Badly Spray-Painted "FREE CANDY" on the side away from being the sort of vehicle you see in an edgy horror movie.

It's got the same issue that Doberman Dogs have where they look like the sort of creature that likes to snack on toddler's faces whilst actually having personalities made of marshmallow fluff. This vehicle is unnecessarily menacing and I think nothing short of an airbrushed Epic Van Wizard will correct this. People see this van pull up and lean over and squint suspiciously at me when the driver's side door opens, and then look moderately confused when, instead of Charles Manson, a small, potato-shaped creature with neon purple hair and a statistically unlikely assortment of dogs emerges.

My own two dogs, Herschel the Hanukkah Goblin/Corgi and Charleston Chew The Taco Dumpster Dog, Do Not Like The Van. Even with the bed in it, they have a tendency to slide and roll around in the back, and both WILL chew through dog saftey belts or other attempts to secure them in there.

On the other hand, my house mate's dog, an exceptionally tall standard poodle whom we lovingly call "The Creature", loves the Van because SHE wears her doggy seat-belt with only mild complaining and gets to sit up in the passenger seat like A People.

Also like A People, The Creature likes to stand and walk around on her hind legs. It doesn't hurt her and it's entirely voluntary, but every so often I will feel a hand on my arm and instead of my husband or friend, it's a canine that's taller than I am on her hind legs who wants to stare at my face with soulful, concerned eyes. The Creature's favorite thing is that she is exactly the right height for me to hold her arm in Genteel Fashion and walk around the pet food or hardware store with her like I'm a count escorting a debutante around a royal ball.

---

As it stands, I am set to inherit this vehicle whenever my Honda gives up the ghost, and I fully intend to paint an Epic Van Wizard on it when that time comes.

The other peculiarity of The Van is that while Dad did manage to successfully install all his after-market electronics, not all the electronics get along. Sometimes, they fight for Dominance. The Terabyte Music Player and the Backup Camera have a particularly contentious relationship, and turning on the music has about a 25% chance of turning on the backup camera as well, and turning on the Backup Camera is equally likely to turn on the music.

Firthermore, The Van has a favorite song.

I am not kidding that Dad filled an entire terabyte hard drive with music and the software to sort it via the radio controls, but of all the Early Boomer Dad Rock (Kingston Trio over The Eagles) and Irish Folk and Symphonies and the entire discography of Weird Al Yankovic, The Van's favorite song- The one it picks to play as victory music every time it beats the Backup Camera at their weird electronic game of rock-paper-scissors -is The Liberty Bell March by John Phillip Sousa.

You all know this song already.

...but in case you've forgotten the tune:

Yeah.

The Van's favorite song is the goddamn Monty Python's Flying Circus Theme Music.

It does not play this song at a normal volume.

Every time I turn on the Backup Camera and it manages to turn the music player on as well, The Van insists on absolutely blasting this nonsense on at the maximum volume it's physically capable of producing, which I know is loud enough to be heard from the Denver International Airport's Pickup zone when they Van decided to start playing it from the economy lot about half a mile away.

Perhaps it's The Van's way of honoring the aesthetic sensibilities and sonic enthusiasm of Mr. Sousa.

...I can't help but wonder if the purpose of an Epic Van Wizard is to control this sort of faerie-like malarkey, and channel these chaotic energies into things like Spell of Don't Break Down In Nevada or Enchantment Of Always Have Good Parking.

---

So last Friday the 13th, I get a call from my friend and housemate, at said airport.

It's roughly 11PM at night, and I have already retired for the evening. I am in the exact minimum of clothing required to be a decent housemate and not scandalize the neighbors should I happen to walk by a window. My feet are up. There is a cat in my lap and fictional British people murdering each other in highly inventive fashion on the tv. -But my friend has returned from her friend's wedding,and either American or United Airlines has managed to lose her luggage, including, among other valuable possessions, the keys to her car. ...So she cannot just drive home as originally planned.

There are, as luck would have it, her spare set of keys not eight feet from me.

Being a good and decent person, I agree to bring the spare keys to her so she may get home before daybreak and not spend a semester's worth of tuition on an uber across the greater Denver traffic jam.

Being also that she Loves Activities, and it's her mom we're going to pick up, I elect to take along The Creature.

I am primarily focused on remembering how to get to the airport and not leaving my friend's spare keys on the counter, so I throw on a pair of flip-flops, step outside, remember that it's AUTUMN and my minimal evening attire is not sufficient thermal protection, step back in, grab the first coat in the closet I lay hands on, pull it on, check that I have her keys again and leave.

The trip to the airport is largely unremarkable, save that it becomes necessary for me to put on sunglasses to drive, despite it being nearly the witching hour and almost entirely darker than the inside of a cow.

It's necessary because this blissful darkness of night is violently punctured by a startling number of cars that seem to have installed miniaturized but no less powerful lighthouse bulbs in where their headlights ought to go so the oncoming traffic and sports cars that insist on tailgating me in the slow lane alike illuminate the road and my mirrors with the kind of radiance I'd normally associate with the arrival of a Seraphim.

I arrive at the distant highly discounted airport car lot where my housemate is waiting, deeply apologetic. It's nothing. I say. Once I see that your car starts up, I'm gonna go to that 7-11 across the way that I parked in front of, get a slurpee or something and I'll see you at home.

While she is retrieving her vehicle (an equally eccentric but much more stately Subaru that is old enough to be elected to congress) I rifle through the loose change in the glove box and discover that I have exactly $6.66 in small bills and coins. The Subaru, continuing it's long voyage into vehicular immortality, immediately starts up.

Upon her return, we all remember that my friend had all her camping gear in the backseat of the car and there is no room for The Creature to ride home with her parent, so I again assure her it's nothing, and will just take The Creature into the 7-11 with me. She is trained as a service animal and needs the practice after the plague.

I wave my friend off and turn to enter the 7-11.

I promptly trip over the jutting back bumper of The Van and fall, cartoonishly, face-first onto the sidewalk.

Fortunately, I have a lot of practice falling on my face, and have learned not to throw my hands out but instead cover my face, so my unexpected self-inflicted attempted curb-stomping lightly scrapes my hairline and nothing else -my sunglasses even stay in place- and I get up and resume my quest for a slurpee.

It's well known that the airport is a lawless place, and the 7-11 across from the discounted airport parking at the stroke of midnight is no exception.

I know it's the stroke of Midnight because there's one of those Audubon society bird-call clocks that makes bird noises, and my arrival is heralded by the twittering call of a Summer Tanager. I am almost charmed enough by the unusual choice of chronological device to excuse the exorbitant Airport-adjacent mark-up of Slurpee prices. I stand at the machine for some time, trying to decide on a size for the price and guess what the fuck "Blue Lighting Blast" is supposed to taste like.

The Creature is being Very Polite but is somewhat agitated, I assume because she *just* saw her mother for the first time in three days and then she LEFT with no explanation, so The Creature is on her hind legs, staring woefully into my eyes, asking to be escorted around the 7-11. Even though that's not what she's not supposed to be doing, there's nobody else in here, so I let her hang off my arm and discuss various Slurpee Flavor options with her.

We eventually decide on an experiment in which I try a Small Blue Lightning Blast, and discover it tastes a bit like licking a nintendo cartridge but in a pleasantly satisfying way.

I go up to pay and realize something is amiss.

The Cashier is a young man staring at me with wide eyes, one had over the register and the other wrapped up in his rosary.

I look down at myself.

In my haste to reunite my friend with her spare keys and service animal, I had left the house in the following accoutrements:

Flip Flops. Not matching. It's below freezing outside. That last part is not particularly odd footwear for the weather in for Colorado, but it's an important detail for the rest of the ensemble.

Assorted scrapes, bruises, cuts and welts on my arms and legs that come with doing outdoor work and living in a house with three dogs and a fully-clawed cat that all want to be in my lap all the time. It's cold out, so vasoconstriction has pulled the blood away from my skin, a trait that served my ancestors well during the last Ice Age, but leaves me with pale skin to contrast the various wounds and I look like a corpse that fell out of the back of a pickup truck.

The black Bootyshorts with "CRYPTID" painted in bright red gothic font across my ass, that @theshitpostcalligrapher gave me for my wedding present.

A peculiar but extremely comfortable garment that straddles the line between "Lacy Camisole" and "Industrial-Strength Sports Bra" like the Ever Given straddling the Suez Canal. It is also Bright Red. with black accents.

The Jacket I had grabbed out of the closet, which is in fact, a black Velour Dinner Jacket.

The Tokyo-Ghoul inspired reusable anti-covid mask a friend made me with the set of Coyote Teeth.

My sunglasses, which are shaped like a Halloween Bat. The lenses are the wings and the body is the nose bridge. It is ALSO bright red.

A Very Large and remarkably Humanoid Poodle that I have been audibly affectionately calling "Dear Creature" who is hanging off my arm like she's my Prom Date.

The Very Large and remarkably Humanoid Poodle is ALSO dressed up in a black Dog Sweater that has white bones printed on it to look like its an X-ray jacket showing off her skeleton.

I look like I am taking my Very Fancy Werewolf Girlfriend to a particularly casual Dinner Party for Vampires, but the thing that's really selling it and probably alarming the kid the most is the fun accessory I acquired in the parking lot not five minutes earlier:

The "Small Scrape At my Hairline" is actually a painless but PROFUSELY bleeding head wound that I had somehow entirely failed to notice covering my face, neck, decolletage and magnificent cleavage with blood like a Tarantino Film Extra.

This does explain why The Creature has been delicately trying to use her bodyweight to push me down onto the floor for the last ten minutes. So I don't injure myself while we wait for the paramedics she hoped this kid called to arrive, you see.

The Creature has such a High and Naive Opinion of humanity.

I decide this social situation is already fucked, and the only way out is through, and with haste, before I start dripping on the floor.

"Hi there!" I say cheerfully, to indicate this is a visually alarming but not terribly serious situation. "Just a Small Slurpee!"

The Cashier has entered the relevant code into the register before I finish the sentence. His gaze flicks off me just long enough to look at the total, and he grips his Rosary harder.

$6.66

"Oh cool! I have exact change!" I say, taking the money out of my as-yet-unsanguined pocket without looking and slap it down on the counter. "You have a good night and be safe out there!" I wave, leaving.

I get in The Van, mortified, buckle The Creature up, and as I make to leave, I have to put it in reverse, which automatically turns on the backup Camera.

It also turns on the music player.

I make eye contact with the cashier as the dulcet tones of John Phillip Sousa boom from the van hard enough to make the windshield and the windows of the 7-11 rattle for the nine-and-a-half seconds I have to wait to be able to turn the volume back down. Not knowing what else to to, I give him a thumbs up, and leave.

Anyway, now I know what my Future Van Wizard has got to be dressed like, and what their familiar is.

---

If you enjoyed this story, please consider donating to my Ko-Fi or Pre-ordering my Family Lore Funny Stories book on Patreon

[cygnus-is-tired]

The horrors (my brother eating marshmallows dipped in turkey gravy) haunt me

[bloggerspam]

Cozytober: Wrapped in a soft fuzzy blanket

Dan isn't sure what he's doing here.

He sits, squished into the smallest pink chair imaginable, holding a tea cup barely the size of his pinky and wonders—not for the first time—why him.

He's reformed! He has his family back (with bonus new ones, in Ellie and Danny himself), and is trying his damnedest to be the best of both his donor's parts! He rescues kittens now!

So why?

"More tea, Mr. Dante?" A squeaky, pleasant voice asks politely.

Internally, Dan sighs. He knows why.

"Sure." Dan rumbles, low, so as to keep from intimidating her. It's a moot point, considering you were immediately invited to this tea part upon first glance.

"Lovely!" The girl, Lian, beams brightly at him, causing him to squint at how bright she looks. She reaches over with her purple teapot, decorated with superhero stickers all over it, and mimics pouring tea into his Red Hood themed tea cup.

Dan didn't even know Red Hood had merch, much less a children's tea set.

She watches him expectantly, so he takes a sip.

"Mm." He smiles, tightlipped to keep his fangs away, "Tasty."

Again, that blinding beam. Dan wonders, distantly, if the reason he can still see is because of his healing factor.

"Lian! Lian, honey, it's time to—" A voice echoes, causing Dan to stiffen.

A man enters through the open doorway, pausing at the scene they must make.

"Hi Daddy!" Lian chirps, "Mr. Dante stopped some bad guys from hurting Mrs. Stoner, and he said he knew the Justice League, so I invited him to my Tea Party to thank him!"

"Is that so?" Her father, with a frozen smile, turns slowly to Dan and quirks a single burnt orange eyebrow. Thankfully, he doesn't seem mad at Dan's presence, more surprised and…amused, judging by the taste in the air. His quirked lips seem to ask him why Dan didn't refuse.

"I've been told," Dan says as softly as he can, "that it would be uncouth for a…gentlemen to refuse a lady's request."

The part of Dan that's Vlad, the part of Dan that Ellie and Jazz influenced, had reminded him.

The part of him that's still Danny, that's still a sucker for little children and his sisters, had taken control and his acceptance had been given before he even knew it.

This is why he is here. Because he is, in Ellie's words, a god damn marshmallow softie.

"Fair enough." Lian's father chuckles with a tilt to his head, "Hard to say no to Lian anyway."

Lian's grin turns a little sharp, the way Ellie's does, knowing and mischievous.

"I've also been told that it's rude to overstay my welcome." Dan places the tea cup down gently, still trying to figure out how to be soft, and contemplates the logistics of getting up.

"But Mr. Dante, you haven't even finished your scones!" The scones in question sit innocently, masquerading as pumpkin spice flavored Oreos. Dan chuckles, and delicately pinches one to toss into his mouth. He gives up on unfolding his limbs around the tiny furniture and simply goes intangible, floating up to stand.

"Lian, I'm sure Mr. Dante's got other stuff to do sweetheart. Besides, it's dinner time for you."

Lian pouts, but seems to acquiesce with a pout before smiling up at him again. "Thank you for coming to my Tea Party Mr. Dante!"

"Thank you for having me, Little Miss." Dan rumbles, floating up and ready to leave.

"Wait!" Lian jumps up, running towards her closet and dragging out a searingly bright orange cloth. Its got little arrows all over it, and is three times her size. She holds it up to him, reaching on her tippy toes, so Dan touches back down and crouches.

"You need a cape, since you're a hero!" Lian explains, "Some heroes don't wear capes, but I think a proper gentleman like you should have a cape!"

She does her best, jumping around and fumbling over him to drape the blanket over his shoulders. Her father, from the corner of Dan's eye, is trying not to bust up laughing. She tries once, twice, three times to tie it around his neck, and he takes pity on her and ties it on himself. He feels ridiculous.

It's less of a cape and more of a bundling. He's half wrapped up and if he didn't have the ability to fly and go intangible, he's sure he would have been tumbling around and stuck.

Thankfully, he does have those abilities, so he floats up to get that all sorted.

"Just like Superman." The Father chuckles, barely able to string it together through his laughed. Dan smiles a wry smile, doing a Superman Pose just to see Lian light up and giggle.

"See ya later, alligator!" Lian chirps, waving goodbye.

And then the part of him that's still Danny rears up again, without his permission, as he floats through the ceiling.

"In a while, crocodile."

[crushmeeren]

⇢ ⇢ KIRISHIMA / FEM READER

everyone involved in this fic is aged up/18+.

⇢ warnings; daddy kink, praise kink, rough sex, hair pulling, mentions of choking, throat fucking, pussy eating, vaginal sex, Kirishima spits into readers mouth and you swallow that shit happily, cream pie, sweet aftercare, sleepy sex.

Eijirou who is the actual human embodiment of a ray of sunshine. Who if you looked up the definition of golden retriever energy in the dictionary, his picture would be there. If he had a tail it would be wagging nonstop.

Eijirou who you met for the first at the gym. You were new and consequently uncomfortable and unsure of your actions when it came to weightlifting. Who came up to you so shyly and with a smile so sweet to explain the proper way to back squat when he noticed you struggling.

Eijirou who caused you to get weak in the knees when he approached you that first time. Who appeared intimidating due to being the size of a mountain, sporting bright cherry red hair, but was the kindest man you’d ever met.

Eijirou who stuttered and blushed adorably every time you asked him to be your spotter after that. Who finally, after what seemed to be an eternity, asked for your number. Who definitely did not see you fist pump in victory after receiving said man’s text.

Eijirou who is gut wrenchingly stacked. Who is also the biggest marshmallow you’ve ever met. Who gets overly excited to play wrestle with your dog. Who you swear loves your dog more than you because they’ve become two peas in a pod since you moved in together.

Eijirou who is very intelligent. Who is maybe not top dog when it comes to academics, but he is exceptional with emotional and street intelligence. Who can somehow read your emotions like an open book, giving you immense relief when you aren’t in the mood to talk.

Eijirou who is oblivious to how he looks. Who has so many Instagram followers he doesn’t know what to do with them. It’s due to the fact that he started posting pictures of himself at the gym just for fun and unbeknownst to him everything he posts is a thirst trap. Who didn’t realize until you pointed it out, but happily reassured you that you’re his one and only.

Eijirou who just about never says no to you. Who goes with the flow, an easy smile lighting up his face. Who lets you pick out the movie for date night more often than not, but you choose something you both enjoy just the same.

Eijirou who has an infatuation with cherry twizzlers. Who has hearts in his eyes whenever you buy him a pack every Friday. Who coos and gushes about how lucky he is and how much he loves you every time you show up with a pack. Who shares them with you either way.

Eijirou who loves to wear athletic clothing. Who, on the other end of the spectrum, also enjoys dressing in the punk aesthetic. Who has two lobe piercings on each ear. Who looks otherworldly when he wears nicer outfits. Who giggles when you make a joke about his clothes looking better on your floor.

Eijirou who is best friends with Katsuki, and by some miracle you’ve become friends with blonde as well. Who often plays video games online with his friends (Katsuki, Denki, Sero, also including Izuku and Shouto). Who insists you sit on the floor between his legs while he plays.

Eijirou who purrs like a cat when you scratch his scalp whenever his hair is down. Who lays his head in your lap while you watch TV so you can continue to play with his hair. Who falls asleep halfway through the movie because he can’t keep his eyes open.

Eijirou whose presence is calming and friendly. Who makes you feel safe and secure. Who you’ve never heard a bad word said about, although you’d step up to anybody who dared to try.

Eijirou who has made you feel more loved and appreciated than anyone else you’ve ever been with before. Who fills your chest with a warmth so intense your eyes burn with tears. Who brings you your favorite food or drink out of blue. Who makes you laugh so hard your stomach cramps.

Eijirou who is, without a doubt, your other half. Being with him is like regaining a limb you didn’t realize you were missing. Who becomes your husband, the father of your children, and who you share a love with that only appears once every five life times.

Eijirou who kisses you so softly. Whose lips move lazily with yours as he lets out little breathy sighs. Whose thumbs tease under your shirt, tickling the smooth skin over your hip bones as you straddle him. Who exhales roughly, sharp teeth snagging on your bottom lip as he bites down harshly. Who sucks on it apologetically afterwards when you cry out.

Eijirou who has a hard on for having you dry hump him while you’re both still wearing clothes. Whose head thumps onto the backrest of the couch, tightening his grip on your waist when you start to grind on him. Who flushes petal pink, eyes fluttering shut with a moan as he helps you drag your clit back and forth over his straining cock.

Eijirou whose switch flips once he gets to a certain level of arousal. Who tosses you onto your bed effortlessly and cages you in between his thick arms. Who grips your jaw harshly and forces it to pop open. Who spits possessively into your mouth, commanding you to “swallow it baby girl.”

Eijirou who loves the sensation of your hot, velvet like mouth sucking his cock. Who places you on the floor with your back shoved against the side of the mattress. Who grips the hair at the nape of your neck to keep you in place as he fucks your throat and props one knee up on the bed. Who licks his lower lip when he stares into your teary eyes and murmurs with a smoky voice “you’re so good at sucking daddy’s cock baby girl. You’re stunning on your knees like this.”

Eijirou who happily eats you out from behind. Whose plush tongue traces a path from your puffy clit up to the sensitive rim of your ass. Whose thick fingers stretch your pussy open while he focuses his mouth on your rim. Who makes your belly flutter and tighten, dragging an orgasm out of you this way.

Eijirou whose cock is thick. Intimidating enough that he’s determined to get your pussy drooling before he fucks you.

Eijirou who has a daddy kink. Who has you beg for his cock when he has you folded in half. Who keeps your knees close to touching your ears as he teases the lips of your pussy with just his tip. Who tells you condescendingly “you gotta ask daddy nicely if you want to be split open sweetheart.”

Eijirou whose chest gets slick with sweat, hair falling from its spiky position when you start to go at it. Whose moans raise in pitch when he can feel your nipples slipping over and over on his pecs as he presses his weight down and fucks you. Who cries out when you squeeze him.

Eijirou who has a filthy deep stroke. Who pants and whispers toe curling praise in your ear, but fucks you like he’s trying to carve out your guts. Who lets you weave your fingers through his soft hair and hang on for leverage. Who breathlessly tells you “your pussy’s so good to me sweet thing, daddy loves fucking such a tight little thing like you.”

Eijirou whose breath hitches when he switches to fucking you from behind. Who presses his cock back in with one roll of his hips. Whose pace is brutal from the get go, nails biting into the squishy flesh of your hips. Who actively has to reign in his quirk so it doesn’t activate and shred your skin.

Eijirou who makes you cum with a wail in this position. Who threads his fingers through your hair and forces your neck back into an uncomfortable angle. Whose voice is like warm honey in your veins when he coos “Oh? Right there angel? That was a big one, wasn’t it baby? You did so well for me.”

Eijirou who pulls you up into his lap until your back is sticking to his chest and lets a hand snake around your throat as he bounces you on his cock. Who makes your spine bow as he bites your shoulder, aiming to leave an obvious mark. Who whines low in his throat when he cums, eyes rolling back when you gasp.

Eijirou who has you limping to the shower afterwards. Who is sweet and tender with his aftercare as he washes your body, massaging your lower back where it twinges. Who tells you how much he loves you as he carries you back to the bed in a towel. Who has you giggling when he pokes your ribs while you change into one of his large T-shirts.

Eijirou whose face you pepper with kisses when he climbs into the bed with you. Who’s eager for it when you wake him up in the middle of the night to ride him slow and sweet with your foreheads pressed together. Who cradles you against his chest when you eventually fall back asleep.

[nana-au]

Big Brother’s Best Friend!

(or BBBF for short)

Suguru Geto♡

MDNI

 ₊˚ପ⊹ Summary: You’re Satoru’s little sister with a hopeless crush on his best friend - Suguru. He knows this too, and promises you won’t be anything more. (You’ll just have to work harder).

₊˚ପ⊹ Warnings: unrequited love (at first), reader laying it on thick, slight age gap (4 years - adults!!), slight possessiveness, little lamb/big bad wolf metaphor, wet dream, size kink, semi-public sex, cock warming, making you watch in the mirror, m! receiving oral, breeding kink - is this list filthy enough?

₊˚ପ⊹ wc: 2.4k

 𓂃⊹ ִֶָ

BBBF! Sugu who has known you forever as his best friend’s little sister - nothing more. He’s been aware of the special place in your heart for him for ages now. It wasn’t that he didn’t have one for you - his was just strictly platonic. 

BBBF! Sugu who treated you better than any boy when the two of you were in grade school. He walked with you in the lunch line, preferring to hold your tray for you. He lent you his jacket when you accidentally bled through your pants - promising he wouldn’t be upset if you stained it. He even punched a guy in his grade for making lewd comments about you - the suspension was no big deal. “He needed to be taught a lesson on respecting women,” he informed the principal. 

BBBF! Sugu who texted you every day when he went off to college, leaving you like a lamb thrown to the wolves. He listened to you rant about your school work and every minute detail of drama between your friend group. Instead of fully appreciating his kindness you often cursed him, blubbering over Facetime about why he had to be so attentive. If he didn't like you, he needs to ignore you! It was too much for your sore heart. 

BBBF! Sugu who set a boundary when he caught wind of you turning guys down for him. You were basically his little sister. Precious and fragile. He only ever wanted to protect you - but it was his job to protect you now from your delusional ideas. It was hard - but the remainder of High School you went without hearing from him. 

BBBF! Sugu who spends the summer of his senior year at his friend’s mansion. He forgot how lavish it was. The shower head hung from the ceiling, his guest bedroom fit a couch, and the outdoor pool must’ve been olympic size! He spent his days poolside with Gojo, enjoying the warmth of the sun and the cool mojitos that slid down his throat so effortlessly. 

BBBF! Sugu who chokes on one of his many mojitos seeing you in your little two piece. You just arrived back from your study abroad trip in Spain. Your skin was sun kissed and your hair was parted differently from what he remembered. That was among the respectful differences he noted about you… but the disrespectful ones? The ones that would have Satoru smacking him upside the head? Those were plentiful. Your plush breasts filled out your top, your pebbled buds visible through the thin material. And your ass? Your swim bottoms were swallowed whole by your plump cheeks. You grew into your form to say the least. 

BBBF! Sugu who after all these years still turns you down. The two of you are sitting by the firepit outside, waiting on Gojo to grab the graham crackers and marshmallows. Your voice is hardly above a whisper when you ask Geto if you were still just his best friend’s little sister - trying to play it off like a joke but you can’t hide the fat tears at the edge of your eyes when he promises that’s still all you’ll ever be.

BBBF! Sugu who maintains his composure even when you turn up the heat. He didn’t know it was possible for clothes to cover so little. How could they possibly try to sell that as a skirt? You probably weren’t helping the clothes look proper when you dropped your phone in front of him. He was sprawled lazily across the couch, manspreading while enjoying the movie playing on the big screen mounted on the wall when your phone slipped from your grasp. You were just checking if the two of them wanted any snacks for their movie when your small hands lost grip, bending down to pick it back up. You must’ve forgotten how to pick things up like a proper lady - you bent completely forward, feeling the cool air on your backside. Silly you! You stretched your arm, taking your time to check for any cracks before standing back up straight. Your phone survived the fall! Isn’t that great? Geto’s throat felt constricted as he hummed a response to you, “How fortunate.”

BBBF! Sugu who deserves an award for how good of a friend he is; Who else would turn down your advances time and time again? He looks at you deadset - your doe eyes unblinking and plump lips frowning, glossed over with a pink shimmer - as he tells you he won’t help you put away the laundry. Recalling the last time he agreed to fold your cute little panties and roll your ruffled lace socks you decided the shirt you were hanging up would look much better with your current shorts. You wasted no time plucking the shirt right off your body, exposing your bare chest to the raven haired man. He didn’t have the strength to look away and he would be cursing himself the rest of the day for allowing you to trick him.

BBBF! Sugu who doesn’t like the stupid fucking guy you brought over. He was handsy and unabashedly groping your ass while you straddled him on the couch. He was completely brazen to be doing this while Satoru was in the bathroom just down the hall - and entirely disrespectful to give your cheeks a firm SMACK! 

BBBF! Sugu who throws the guy out, dragging him through the house by his ear - Giving the back of his head a firm push out the door before slamming it on him. He turns to you, “If I ever see that asshole here again he won’t be able to walk himself out.”

BBBF! Sugu who is rocking his hips into yours as you helped him through his bad dream. You didn’t mean to join him in bed, you just heard his soft cries down the hall and came to comfort him. Your hand came down on his chest, trying to shake him awake but instead he pulled you down on top of him. You immediately felt his hard on pressed against your thigh, his hips rutting into you. You noted his face was free of tears - it wasn’t a bad dream at all. His words were slurred by sleep but his moans were incredibly clear. His breath was shaky and Gosh his dick felt big. Your mouth watered at the thought of seeing it in front of your eyes. “M’pretty lil lamb,” his sleeping form murmured. You understood that clear as day. You held your breath as you waited to hear more, “Feel s’good,” Lips forming an ‘o’ and cock twitching. You wanted him so bad, wanted to pull down his sweats and suck him off right then. Have his thick cock twitching in your wet mouth. You were drooling - but you knew better. He was asleep and he would be deeply disappointed waking up to your mouth. You hated the girl he was dreaming of. Why wouldn’t it ever be you? You stayed with him until his dick stopped twitching and his body calmed. Kissing his forehead before stumbling out of his quarters. 

BBBF! Sugu who woke up with wet briefs every morning. He felt like a hormonal teen all over again - cumming in his sleep over the lewd scenes that plagued his dreams. 

BBBF! Sugu who was a very, very bad friend. You were the subject of every one. His best friend’s little sister. He was a sick puppy.

BBBF! Sugu who didn’t understand why you were ignoring him. Was this your new strategy? Give enough spank material for a decade and then cut off all contact? Because, fuck, was it working.

BBBF! Sugu who couldn’t take it anymore! He stopped you at the door before you were able to leave to get a drink from your favorite cafe. “What happened?” his eyes intense as he asked you. You - who played dumb. “Don’t make me sound crazy, baby. I do something?” you shake your head and shrug your shoulders. “You don’t like me. Thought I would finally leave you alone,” you sounded defeated. That made him mad. This wasn’t you. 

BBBF! Sugu who wanted to punch himself seeing you cry. You couldn’t help pounding your fists into his chest and crying aloud at how this was all he ever wanted - You swallowing down your pathetic little crush on him no matter how much it hurt. How dare he act offended over something he nearly begged for. How dare he ignore you for three whole years - blocking your number. You were doing him a favor. The sound of the door you slammed in his face echoed through his skull. You were entirely right to be upset with him. He was a jerk. An asshole. Absolutely the worst. But at least he knew what he wanted now. 

BBBF! Sugu who didn’t have to try too hard to convince you to sneak around Satoru with him. You took him so good anytime that obnoxious white haired idiot wasn’t looking. In Suguru’s guest suite, the hot tub next to the pool, even the couch while the three of you watched a movie. Gojo snorted at the comedic scene, pointing at the tv and turning to look at you to see if you also found it funny. Your lips were tight as you feigned humor, trying not to make what was happening obvious. You were sitting in Geto’s lap, warming his cock during the movie. Neither of you had any idea why he just accepted the fact you were in his lap, with a blanket covering the two of you. Satoru wasn’t really known for being a critical thinker after all. The earlier experience in Suguru’s bed was accurate - his cock was massive. Your tight hole clenched around him, wanting so badly for him to move.  Even just a little! You wouldn’t be picky! Your slick coated his thighs, his girth making you impossibly wet. “I haven’t even moved yet, little lamb,” he teased in your ear, “S’wet.” 

The first time you saw it was in his room a day after your fight. A few words were exchanged, him admitting you were right. He was an asshole - but he wanted you now. 

“You’ll finally get exactly what you always wanted,” his eyes concentrated on yours. You were overcome by joy. Fighting every bone in your body telling you to jump up and down, to scream and cry out in celebration. Instead you put your mouth to good use, immediately falling to the floor and popping his dick in your mouth. You weren’t new to blowjobs or sex - you wanted to be prepared for when Geto finally caved. You wanted to impress him, to make him obsessed with how skilled your tongue was swirling around his cock. Impressed he was too, his head falling back and letting out a sweet groan. “Do I even want to know where you learned this from?”, he was devastated at your precision. How many undeserving losers did you practice on for your mouth to feel this good? Your tongue pressed flat against his vein, running it up the underside before kitten licking his tip. His pre cum was delicious, salty and bitter and perfect. “You really didn’t hesitate getting right into tasting me,” he chuckled to himself, obsessed with how you immediately began to suck his cock the moment he reciprocated feelings. “Did I make my lamb wait too long?”

BBBF! Sugu who pounds your pussy all throughout the night. He loves you in every position. He teases you in missionary, going impossibly slow and watching your eyebrows furrow as you beg him to pick up the speed. Your ass jiggles perfectly as you take backshots, your hair in his hand as he slaps his balls into your clit again and again. He loves the way you fold in half as he traps you in a mating press, listening to the sweet sounds of your sopping pussy taking his cock. It wasn’t long for you to be completely cock drunk. You would lose yourself the moment he fucked into you and would become incredibly lost the moment he pulled out. 

His favorite thing of all was lifting you up and down his cock, using you like a fleshlight. He was obsessed with how much bigger he was than you. How he was able to effortlessly glide you against his cock, his meaty hands holding you up by your thighs. Sometimes he forced you to watch in the full length mirror in the corner of his room, “Eyes open, beautiful. You don’t get to cum unless you’re watching it.” Some days he would take pity on you, it was so hard to keep your eyes open while he was sooooo deep in you. Your cunt was abused day in and day out by his cock bullied deep into you. “You take me s’good. Wan’ you to have my babies - fuck. Always look so good with my load dripping out of you,” his words were filthy and animalistic. “Gonna fill that tight pussy with my children, gon’ have you looking plump n cute,” it was all you ever wanted from him. He was the perfect gentleman, even now. You didn’t have to lift a finger with him around. You would do anything to keep him obsessed with you, even if that meant carrying every child he gave you by fucking deep inside of you. It wasn’t hard to accept when it felt so good feeling his hot cum coat your walls, him not letting up even when he finished cumming. “Gotta make sure you take it all. Have ‘ta fill you completely full. You can take a few more of my loads.” His loads were huge. He emptied enough into you each orgasm you would think it was the first time he ever came. 

BBBF! Sugu who made sure you were alright after every intense session. “I have to make sure I didn’t hurt my little lamb. If I did, I would be no better than the other wolves.”

[thehauntedetheral]

JUST AN WRITING IDEA.

I just had a weird writing idea. Imagine you are a daughter from a very influential and wealthy business family. Your parents want to set you up for an arrange marriage with a powerful family just like yours. So to escape from this arranged marriage you came up with a plan. You told your parents you like yandere and want to marry him only. And your parents loved this. Because after all yandere has everything power, status, reputation, money, everything. But how come you are ready to marry him? What's the sudden change of heart? After throwing so many tantrums and rejecting numerous grooms.

Well few days ago your best friend told you that yandere likes only men and might be in a secret relationship with his male secretary. And he doesn't tell about his sexuality to anyone because his family who has most of the shares of company is homophobic.

So you made a plan. You told your parents you want to marry yandere only and no one else and yandere doesn't like women so he will obviously reject you and you will cry over the rejection and postpone your arrange marriage for some months in the facade of heartbreak.

Your plan began. To show your family and people that you are badly down for yandere you did many things. You flirted with him like a shameless every chance you got.

Would tell everyone how you are madly in love with him and will marry him one day. While people thinking that you are the most delusional person on this earth.

You would crash into his office uninvited and act like a cute girlfriend which you totally are not.

Would call him the most weird and chessy names like "My marshmallow, my sweet pea, love of my life, my future husband" in front of everyone while yandere ignores you like it's a daily occurrence which actually now has become a daily occurence.

"Won't you give your girlfriend a hug or a kiss?"

"I know your way of telling me that you love me is ignoring me"

One day you brought a huge ass size flower bouquet for him while saying "Since you don't give me flowers one of us have to do this babe"

You quite enjoyed teasing him. And did I mention you also teased his secreaty with yandere's name. By saying "Yandere is quite good looking good choice secretary. Have a nice night" while winking at him.

You are hundred percent sure that yandere thinks you are one of his crazy delulu fangirls just like thousands of many. But is only tolerating you because you are daughter of one of his important person.

Until one day he drags you into a corner at an event. Traping your back infront of a wall with his arms from side towering above you.

"Are you really that desperate to marry me, huh?" He asked.

"Well of course after all you are the love of my life " you Said smiling staying in your crazy fangirl character.

"Then marry me this weekend " he said with the most straight expression.

"Wait. Aren't you gay?" You said being totally surprised.

"I have always liked women y/n. "

Little do you know yandere ignored you in start but as the time passed now you have got him stuck with your thoughts 24/7. And there is no way backing out now. He is going to have you no matter what.

This is just a idea I got into my mind and shared it with you. Hope you liked it. If you want a longer version let me know through comments.

For More Yandere Reading:

[all-purpose-dish-soap]

showing the boys something ‘horrifically’ [insert country here ie indian, brazilian, chinese]

i took liberties :3c prewriting exercise 61 / 275 words

...

“That is disgustingly American.”

“What is?” you ask through a mouthful of melted marshmallow and chocolate. Then you look down at your half-eaten mess of a s'more. “This?”

“That.” König sips his black coffee and side-eyes you. “The sheer amount of sugar is astounding.”

“That's the point. Have you never had a s'more before?”

“I have had my fill of overly sweet American desserts.”

“Like what?”

“Your abominations you claim to be pastries. Your cakes. Your milkshakes. Your pancakes and waffles drowning in sugar. That bag of colored marshmallows called Lucky Charms. Fried Oreos.”

“You've eaten a lot of American food for someone who doesn't like American food.”

“And I have regretted it every time.”

“Really? Even the waffles?”

“Those are the most offensive.”

“Why?”

“Because you put fried chicken on them.”

“And it's good as hell.”

“It’s disgusting.” He wrinkles his nose. “I was in the United States for business and tried it. I could feel the calories clogging my veins.”

You look him up and down his massive frame. “You couldn't handle the extra calories? You?"

“It is unnecessary,” he insists, his accent thickening with annoyance. “I am large because I eat well-balanced meals. But I don’t eat that kind of junk.” He pauses and then arches his eyebrow at you. “Are you making fun of my size, dreikäsehoch?”

You smile at him as you gnaw a glob of cooled marshmallow off your thumb. “Noh' ah' ahll.”

He watches as you wipe your hand clean with your tongue. A smirk briefly touches his lips before disappearing. “You just prove my point about American food.” He shakes his head and takes another sip. “Obscene.”

...

more König / masterlist

[2tcs]

day 1: camping and candle

“Ugh. Why are we doing this again?” Danny complained as he watched his dad pull supplies out of the GAV.

“Well, your dad and I agreed that everyone has been a little too stressed. What with the ghosts destroying part of the school and your father and I's recent slump.” Maddie absently replied as she began clearing a spot for the fire pit.

“Besides Danno. This gives us the perfect opportunity to try out the new and improved Fenton Anti-ghost Tent.” Jack shouted as he put a glowing box on the ground and pressed a button on the side that caused it to fold out into what could only be described as a family-size carnival tent.

“Hay Jazz?”

“Ya Danny?”

“Please tell me you packed the actual tent.”

“Yes. I even managed to buy a box of MREs in case Mom and Dad brought contaminated food again.”

“A week of MREs. Yay. Well, we might as well get our side of camp set up 'cause I am not sleeping in that.”

👻🦇👻🦇

“Come hi everyone this is going to be fun. Think about it! Tents, roasted marshmallows, campfire stories. This will be awesome.” Dick said as he jumped out of the van and started unloading camping supplies.

“This is a survival training exercise, Richard. Not a family bonding trip.” Damian said as he looked at the single-family size tent that Dick had packed.

“For once I agree with Damien. This is not what I would consider “fun” or “awesome”.” Tim said as he set up his laptop to finish his report for the next WE project that is due next week.

“I just want to know how the hell I got roped into this.” Jason grumbled as he started picking up stones for a campfire ring.

“Come on guys. This is as close to family vacation as we have been able to get in, like, ever. Let's make the most of it and have some fun.” Dick pleaded with them. “You agree with me, right Duke?”

“I mean. Except for you and Damien, we're all city kids. But I guess it could be fun.” Duke hurriedly added on as he saw Dick start to pout. “Yeah, yeah. Well, I ain't setting this up myself. Duke help me with these rocks. Tim helped Dick set up the stupid tent. And Damien you got the most experience in survival training. I need you to go through and scout the area and pick up wood for this fire.” Jason said while ignoring Dick's happy dance at his family getting along and helping each other.

🦇👻🦇👻

“Come on Danno! How can you protect yourself from ghosts if you don't put on the Anti-ecto Spray?” Jack asked as he followed Danny as he gathered wood for the fire.

“We're in the middle of the forest, Dad. All we have to worry about out here is bugs and bears. And we have a spray for both already.” Danny argued.

“He's right Dad. Besides you have that Ecto Shield that will be covering the camp once everything is set up for the night.” Jazz said, watching as her dad pouted and walked over to their mom.

“Madds? You'll put on the Anti-ecto Spray won't you?”

“I'm sorry dear. But you know that stuff causes my skin to rash. I think I might be allergic to something we used in it.” Maddie said as she pulled out a dutch oven and some baking supplies. “Here honey, why don't you go and make some fudge? I know how much you like your campfire fudge.”

“Campfire fudge is pretty good. But we're going to need more firewood if we're going to bake.”

“I got it Dad.” Danny said, taking off into the woods in a desperate attempt to get away from all the anti-ghost stuff.

“That's my Danny Boy! Always eager to help out. Make sure you get some good size logs too!”

“I’ll go with him. For the buddy system.” Jazz said as she began to walk in the direction Danny had run off in.

👻🦇👻🦇

“Tt.”

“Don't Tt me. A dutch oven is an essential if you are going camping.” Jason said as he checked to see if the water was boiling before moving the pot back over the fire so that the water in it could stay hot.

“It is cumbersome and will weigh us down if we must move quickly through the woods.” Damian huffed.

“Well, it's a good thing we aren't going to need to move quickly through the woods. Now here's a knife and some potatoes. They've already been washed so now they just need cut up.”

“And what makes you think I will help you cook?”

“For the same reason that Tim is cutting up veggies and Duke is cutting the vegan turkey sausage. If you want to eat. You need to help.”

“Richard is not helping.”

“Richard would burn the forest down if we let him do anything more than roast marshmallows.”

“Hay! I'm not that bad.” Dick whined from where he was still struggling with the tent.

“August 26th, 2010.” Tim deadpanned as he put the veggies into the oven.

“Okay. That's not fair Tim.”

“Um. What happened in 2010?” Duke asked before they were interrupted my a loud explosion to the east of them.

“Put a pin in that Glowstick. I think we should check that out.” Jason said as he put the lid on the pot and moved it away from the fire before Tim quickly grabbed the bucket of dirt they had and smothered the fire with it before taking off towards the sound.

🦇👻🦇👻

“What the hell was that!” Danny yelled as he dropped the sticks he was carrying and ran back towards camp.

“I don’t know! Just run!” Jazz shouted back as she pulled out her collapsible creep stick and tossed Danny the laser lipstick.

By the time they broke through the brush, they saw the camp in chaos. The new tent was trying/failing to eat Jack and Maddie was fighting the ecto lights.

“I kinda want to let them suffer.” Danny said as he deactivated the lipstick. Only to sigh as a group of four men ran into the clearing and began to try and help.

“I don’t think that’s an option anymore.” Jazz commented as she watched the human tank shoulder-check their dad to get him out of the way while a tall slender man expertly climbed the poles of the tent to get to the power switch that was at the top of the tent for some reason.

“I don’t know Jazz. They seem like they're doing a good job.” Danny replied as the shortest and skinnyest of the group tried to help Maddy with the lights.

“I’ll get the lights. You get the tent.” Jazz sighed before taking off and using the creep stick to tangle the lights and yank them out of the portable ecto-battery that their parents brought with them. Danny in the meantime ran to the GAV and climbed on top to give him a clear shot at the off button seeing as the tent was moving too much to climb. One clean shot and the tent folded in on itself, back into the box it was that morning.

“Danno! Jazzypants! Good job!” Jack shouted as he scooped both kids into a hug.

“And thank you to you four as well. It’s clear you have had training but you should really leave the ecto fighting to the professionals.” Maddy addressed the young men who had come over to make sure everyone was okay.

“Ecto fighting? Lady I don’t know” The tank asked as he crossed his arms.

“What my brother means to say!” The one who tried to climb the tent interrupted. “Is that we’re from Gotham so are kinda used to having to fight. I’m Dick by the way. This is my brother Jason. Tim is the one who is currently investigating the tent box? And Duke is standing next to him. And last but not least this is Damian!”

“Well, it’s nice to meet you all! I’m Jack! That’s my lovely wife Maddie, and these are our kids! Jazz and Danny!”

“You were quite adept with your baseball bat. Have you ever thought about training with a bo staff?” Damian asked Jazz.

“It’s actually what I was originally trained in when Mom was training me how to fight.” Jazz said while straightening her hair once Jack put her and Danny down.

“If you want honeybun I can make you a new bo staff when we get home. It would offer more maneuverability during a ghost fight.”

“Ghost fight?” Tim asked as he and Duke walked over to the little family.

“Ya! Me and Madds here are ectobiologists!” Jack excitedly said before Jazz took the wind out of his sail.

“It doesn’t really matter what we are right now. The FAT completely wrecked the camp. The GAV and the MREs are okay but we’ll probably have to move camp or go home.”

“I saw an old cabin to the west of us with some candles and stuff not far from here when I got the first batch of firewood. We could stay there and leave some of our supplies in exchange for anything we use.” Danny chipped in.

“Hay! I think we passed that on the way here! Maybe we can all camp together! Safety in numbers you know?” Dick suggested as he bounced on his toes.

“That’s a great idea! How about you boys gather your camp and meet us there!” Jack cheered before he ran off to pack the GAV back up.

“Danny dear. Can you go with them and mark a trail to the cabin for us? Here’s some orange ribbon to tie to the trees.” Maddy said before ushering Jazz off so that Danny could “hang out with boys his age.”

“So,” Danny said as he started down the trail. “Gotham huh?”

“Yup. Where are you from?” Dick asked.

“Amity Park.”

“The most haunted place in the world?” Tim asked as he pulled out his phone and began typing.

“Sounds interesting.” Duke said only for Danny to through his head back and groan loudly causing the siblings to look at each other.

“Yes, it's haunted. No, I would not recommend going. The government already has it’s nose in it. And even though my parents didn’t recognize a group of Wayens doesn’t mean I didn’t. We do not need that kind of publicity.”

“Fair enough.” Jason shrugged while leaning over to look at Tim’s phone.

“Let’s just get this done.” Danny grumbled trying to walk ahead of the group.

“We’re totally going to investigate this aren’t we.” Duke whispered when Danny was far enough ahead.

“Tt. Obviously Thomas.”

~~~~~

An hour late but I think I did it. Hope everyone enjoyed it!

[skullrockbi]

Alpha Instincts

written for ‘hole’ wc: 404 | rated: teen | cw: omegaverse | baby’s first submission to @steddiemicrofic

There’s a hole in Eddie Munson’s shoe. Steve has been waiting for this day since he met Eddie in freshman year. Eddie acts like an alpha, but Steve accidentally encountered Eddie’s burnt marshmallow omega scent. Steve was pre-presentation, but he’s never forgotten the scent. He even gave Eddie a small token at the time. Eddie’s now iconic guitar pick necklace was once just a guitar pick slipped into his locker with a note of secret admiration. Steve knows it’s the same pick even though he’s never gotten close enough to see the heart scratched into it.

But now, in Steve’s senior year, Eddie’s shoes are starting to show too much wear and tear for Steve’s alpha instincts. He wants to care for his chosen, even if Eddie rejects him, it’s time for the grand proposal. There’s one small issue, Steve can’t buy Eddie new shoes without his shoe size.

Steve swaggers over to the Hellfire lunch table. “Hey Munson. What size shoe do you wear?”

Maybe Steve shouldn’t have done this with an audience because everyone at the table turns to look at him.

Eddie smirks, “What’s it to you, big boy? Hoping to find if the rumors about big shoes are true?”

Steve smirks and leans towards Eddie to whisper only for him, “I already know the rumors about big shoes are true. I can show you, if you want.”

Steve notices Eddie’s ears go a little pink as he audibly swallows. “Eleven.”

“That’s a good boy.” He stands up straight, waggling his fingers into a wave for the rest of the table.

Steve walks out of the cafeteria and out of school entirely. He’ll forge his mom’s signature for an excuse note about alpha instincts. How can anyone learn when their omega is lacking basic necessities? Sure the hole is tiny, but it’s his opportunity to declare he can provide for Eddie and wants him as a partner. The first courting gift being something your omega needs signifies a desire for a true partnership. Dating a slew of people has taught Steve he wants to belong to his omega as much as his omega belongs to him. And Eddie with his wide eyes, quirky personality and burnt marshmallow scent is the only one for Steve.

The next morning Eddie wakes to Wayne calling for him. “Son, I think you have a suitor.” On the front porch is a Reebok box.

“Oh fuck.”

[world0fmadness]

MY GIRLS

lando norris x large chested! reader

♡ general dating headcanons for lando with a large chested partner!

୨୧ this is a bit shorter than usual stuff and it is very very very self indulgent, sometimes i love my girls and sometimes i hate them! reader is slightly hinted at to have been or be chubby <3

♡ view my formula 1 masterlist here

reading music recommendations: wanderer by little dragon - k.y.s.a. by phantogram - two of hearts by stacey q

♡ he knows how hard it is for you to find bras with your cup size in most stores so he asks you what your usual online store is and always buys you the prettiest and comfiest bras from the site, only wanting his girl to wear the best!

୨୧ sometimes you can feel insecure about your chest not being perky and “ perfect ” and he absolutely hates that you feel that way about yourself

♡ he’ll always make sure you know how much he loves your chest and you as a whole, you’re perfect to him

୨୧ he absolutely loves when you’re having a good day and feel confident to wear shirts that show off your chest, he’ll watch you change into it with soft eyes a loving smile on his face

♡ he’ll bend down and place a kiss on the skin, calling them his girls, making you laugh

୨୧ he goes absolutely feral when they bounce as you walk, he damn near drools like a dog…

♡ he just thinks they’re so hypnotising! not to mention when you wear a necklace with his initial on it and the charm rests on top of them, it just does something to him, it actives a neurone

୨୧ he’ll always help you apply moisturiser on your chest and lower stomach to help with stretch marks

♡ and whenever your back aches, he’ll give you a massage to help relive the tension without you even having to ask, anything to help his girl

୨୧ whenever you’re relaxing in the house without a bra on, he’ll always come up behind you, wrap his arms around your chest and gently hold your boobs in his soft hands

♡ not even in a sexual way, he just likes holding them, they’re soft and squishy!

୨୧ sometimes he’ll gently bite them too, not hard enough to hurt but hard enough to leave small teeth imprints

♡ he says it’s because they remind him of marshmallows :,)

୨୧ he adores using them as pillows too! laying on the couch watching a movie? his head resting on them as your chest slowly rises and falls…

♡ safe to say you’re the big spoon most nights! but when you’re the little spoon, he’s guaranteed to have his hands encased around your chest

୨୧ he knows you feel like you kind of have to wear a bra when in public ( no matter how many times he tells you to “ let his girls breathe ” )

♡ but the second you guys are in a private area like his drivers room, he’s snapping his fingers and telling you to “ get that cage off my girls, now ” with a cheeky smile on his face… and you do, gladly! always letting out a soft sigh of relief as soon as you unclasp it and he gestures for you to sit on his lap so he can massage them

୨୧ sometimes you have days where you’re just really not confident about them at all and talk about getting breast reduction surgery someday and whilst lando would hate to see his girls get smaller and thinks they’re perfect the way they are, if you were really serious about it and it would make you happier, he’d definitely pay for it

♡ but for now, his compliments and love always bring your confidence way up…

[marvelstan0905]

"Trust me, you're not heavy"

Boyfriend!Kenji Sato X FEM!Chubby/Plus Size! Reader

TW : insecurities regarding weight/fluff/wholesome/stammering/picking up/angst/slightly new relationship/comparison/lewd joke at the end/not proofread yet/ mixed POV

-Hi. This is for comfort. Mostly for me,because I am on the thicker side and these are thoughts that have coursed through my mind. If you will be triggered please don't go beyond the line. I am a Female/AFAB so it will be with she/her pronouns! I'm still gonna write other scenarios with GN readers in mind! Thank you for the love and support😘

©all rights reserved. the modification, translation, and plagiarism of my work is strictly prohibited.

Today was a relaxing day. A chill day from all the chaos that both me and Kenji had been going through. We were relaxing together at Kenji's house. My legs laid on his lap as I sat across from him on the couch. We were watching a movie occasionally being on our phones. Kenji put down his phone and looked at me thoughtfully.

"Hey baby?" Kenji started hesitantly as he took my hand and gently put my phone down. I hummed and smiled giving him my attention. "Can I ask why you don't let me pick you up or sit in my lap?"

I froze. I expected the question but I didn't really expect the question so soon ant so abruptly. I looked away from Kenji, clearing my throat.

"W-What do you mean, baby?" I cleared my throat and withdraw my legs from his lap hugging my knees. Kenji's eyes softened in concern as he observed your tense and almost, hiding body language.

"Well..baby we've been dating for quite a while yet you've never sat in my lap or let me pick you up. If I try to pick you up, you squirm away and stiffen up...did I do something to make you uncomfortable?" Kenji spoke sincerely as he gently took ahold of my hand, his thumb brushing against my knuckles. His beautiful mauve turquoise eyes held concern and guilt. I felt bad.

"N-No. Of course its not you, baby. It's me, really. I..I dont even know where to start really" I breathed with a nervous laughter. I played with his soft but calloused hands. Kenji felt relieved but it still didn't exactly explain why. He wouldn't pressure his girl to talk about it but they had great communication.

"Well you know,you can tell me anything. I'd never judge you. You're the perfect specimen to me" Kenji added with conviction and genuineness. I blushed and shook my head.

"I know that, my love. You'd never judge me. It's just..I'm not exactly small, you know? I don't weigh like 40kgs and stuff like that. Plus I've never really been lifted up or put my whole weight on someone, if that makes sense? Like for trustfall exercises at school, I never got a turn or piggy back rides. Stuff like that..I know it's stupid" I rambled whiles touching my head. I tugged on my sweater sleeves. Kenji's eyes softened and hardened at the same time, he was was quite upset people treated you that way. "Even if someone did volunteer they'd be huffing and puffing or straning. So I'd prefer if you didn't get a hernia or something like that picking me up"

"Welk to start baby, fuxk those people who treated you like that. I'd like their names and Instagram handles..Number 2. It doesn't matter that you don't weigh 40kgs or whatever. That's actually unhealthy but anyways. I don't care if you're not small. Just means there's more to touch and feel on" Kenji smirked whiles groping my pudgy love handles. I giggled and pushed his hands away causing him to chuckle.

"Babe. It's not stupid at all. Trust me, I won't get a hernia or huff or puff, okay? I'm an athlete, I play a sport which requires a great deal of strength. I probably lift weights heavier than you. Even if you weighed 6000lbs I'd glad pick you up and put you in my lap and arms"Kenji assured me whiles he pulled me closer and held my hands.

"I know it's scary but please trust me. I think you're the most beautiful girl ever. With all cute abundance as well. It means I get a marshmallow and extra softness to cuddle, okay?" Kenji smiled and stood up pulling us both to our feet. He pulled me closer and wrapped his arms around my waist. "Can we try it? I promise I won't drop you or strain? I'm not fragile, my love. I won't break if I pick you up. Come on your dating the Ken Sato. Believe when I say you're not heavy at all"

Kenji was convincing but I was still anxious. I really didn't want to be embarrassing or scarred for life...again. I didn't want to witness my boyfriend struggle under my weight but then again, he was right. He did lift weights far heavier than me. His half alien self did have that extra strength and power. I looked up at him and Kenji gave me the puppy eyes and the pout. I groaned and sighed, he really did look like a kicked puppy. "Please princess of mine, please. Trust me?"

"Finnnne. I'm being serious, baby. I'm trusting you. J-Just a minute, okay?" I stammered anxiously. Kenji's smiled brightened up and without a second of hesitation, his large hands wrapped around my thick thighs and picked me up without a struggle or hassle. My instant reaction was to push him away and stiffened up, but I took a deep breath. Kenji wrapped my legs around his waist. His hands laid comfortably under my thighs. I looked at him expecting a tomato face or something but he seemed..fine. Genuinely content and happy as he rocked from side to side slowly.

" Look at that..I'm not huffing or puffing. Neither am I crumbling. See ,baby trust me. You're as light as a paperclip to me. I can toss you around like a ragdoll if I wanted" Kenji shrugged with a triumphant smirk as his hands climbed up and onto my rear. I flushed and breathed a sigh of relief. It was still a lot to get used to but I really liked this. It was nice."Feels good, huh? Plus you're all nice and close to me. I get to kiss you more too"

Kenji spoke softly whiles his lips peppered kisses all over my face. Small flustered giggles left my lips as I leaned into his affection.

"Guess I was too anxious. Thank you, baby. Means alot that you're patient like this. The reassurance means alot as well" I say softly whiles nuzzling my cheek against his cheek. Kenji hummed in satisfaction as well nuzzling against me as well.

"This is nothing, baby. I just wanted you close and for you to be more comfortable in your own skin. I love you so much. All of you. In and out, okay? In fact, I'd like to add to all that chubbiness. Just make you eat even more" Kenji murmured whiles kissing my cheek continously. I giggled and shook my head. We stood like this for a few minutes in a comfortable silence as we exchanged kisses and nuzzles. It was so nice and intimate. The once nervous and anxious air from before seemed to have dissipated as we cuddled in content.

"You know this means I can eat you out in the air now" Kenji murmured with his cheek restint against my head. I clicked my tongue, with a flustered gasp and gently pinched his chest. "Ow! What? Wishful thinking..you know? A little manhandling..come on you know you want to?"

"Kenji Sato!"

"Okay..Okay..I'm sorry..maybe we can try the butterfly position now-"

Thwack

"Ow!O-Okay. Okay. I'm sorry, babygirl. We can talk later hmm?"

[incorrectbatfam]

Damian is the warmest person in the family. Can you give me a list of times where people used him as their personal heater? Or something like that lol

Steph: Dang it, the toaster's broken.

Damian: *doing his homework in the kitchen*

Steph: Hm...

Steph: *puts bread on Damian's head*

———————

Damian: Father said to stop smoking on patrol.

Jason: He's not the boss of me.

Jason: *plucks one of Damian's hairs*

Damian: Hey!

Jason: Relax, it's just one hair. You might wanna stand away 'cause of the smoke though.

Jason: *strikes the hair like a match and lights his cigarette*

———————

Damian: *sleeping*

Duke: *roasts marshmallows above him*

———————

Cass, laying on Damian: Mmm, heated pillow.

Damian:

Damian, on the phone: Jon, I'm going to have to take a raincheck.

———————

Bruce: Damian, can you clean the snow off the driveway?

Damian: Yes, Father.

Damian: *walks around until the snow melts*

———————

Dick: It's freezing out there. I can't feel my fingers.

Dick: *sees Damian*

Dick: *squishes Damian's face to thaw his hands*

Damian: Tt.

———————

Damian: *sticks his finger in Barbara's mug*

Barbara: Damian!

Damian: It was getting cold.

Barbara: Oh, thanks.

———————

Kate: And if Renee asks why you're coming to the drive-in theater with us?

Damian: Tell her the truth.

Kate: Which is?

Damian: Your car's heater malfunctioned.

———————

Alfred: Master Damian, I need to make a quick call. Can you make sure the water is ready for tea? m

Damian: Of course.

Damian: *holds the teapot*

*teapot starts boiling*

———————

Selina: Ooh, it seems like you're running a fever.

Damian: No, I am always like this. The doctor says it's the pent-up rage inside a pint-sized body.

———————

Tim: You're like a microwaved Hot Pocket—burning on the outside, ice cold on the inside.

Damian: Thank you for the compliment. I think you do a splendid job of having teeth.