#hes just very good at his job if thats a problem thats skill issue

[aka-indulgence]

Something that rots my brain about TFP is how Megatron has a 'Soundwave' voice. Everyone else he's out here growling and huffing and PISSED that they are even standing in the same room as him. Soundwave though? Bestie. He's relaxed around him. He laughs. He jokes. He says his name so softly whenever he asks him to do something. He was visibly trying not to blow a gasket when Soundwave got captured. Like.....I'm mentally ill.

YEAH!!! I LOVE THAT TOO!!! IF THE NEMESIS GUYS ARE MEGATRON’S ROWDY KIDS SOUNDWAVE IS THE FAVORITE!!! He always has something scathing to say to basically everyone in his roster, but he has nothing but good things to say to Soundwave. He even has casual conversation with him like, he never does that with anyone else, Soundwave is special 🥺 as he should be, considering he was one of Megatron’s first followers in Prime(???). It’s like to everyone else he’s lord Megatron but Soundwave is the closest person he’d call a friend?? ausghghg

He personally attended him when Laserbeak had issues and told Knockout to fix his visor for him earnestly 😭 also he always compliments Soundwave on a job well done I, hgfhgf

Also the direct comparison of how Megatron reacts to Starscream being captured by autobots being: YOU IDIOT HE’S GOING TO TELL THEM EVERYTHING HE KNOWS, to Soundwave being captured: Soundwave knows when to withold information.

He completely trusts Soundwave where he just straight up asks how loyal another Decepticon is, he knows Starscream’s activities behind his back because of Soundwave, he’s just the best

(I keep talking with Llama about how it’s second-hand hot that Soundwave’s the favorite because that means in self shipping you become Important because you belong to Soundwave— but I digress)

I love everything about the s3 finale but that part genuinely hurts me 😭 he’s done so much work and this is how they treat him in the ending like what

IS THAT IN THE MOVIE!!! Don’t tell me I haven’t watched it but!! Of course he did, because he’s the best and most loyal Decepticon he’d follow him anywhere 🥹

[punkkture]

how i view simon riley

for a second, let’s just forget everything about him that actually is true and let me lie . . .

simon riley is 6’5” and is chubby with hella muscle underneath. hes got a lot of tattoos covering his arms and hands, and one on his torso thats battered with scars. i like to think he has dark brown hair, its just my type okay? his eyelashes are sooo long and his hands are always washed, he hates having dirty hands.

simon is a good leader, he kind of has to be. he is an amazing man when it comes to his job and his teammates, but when he gets home, thats the only chance he has to just let go. there isnt some persona he has to put on when hes home. his temper gets the best of him sometimes and hes lwk toxic asf.

“baby c’mon you know i didnt mean to, ‘m sorry” — “dont be dumb sweetie you know im busy right now, go somewhere else and leave me alone” — “stop acting like this, im tired of you right now”

but he will always come to bed with you. always kiss you goodnight. always fixes the covers back over you when he gets up in the morning. its not his fault that he just has some anger issues he never got over when he was a kid. simon is either a big teddy bear or a stone wall. hes hard to read on most days but his tone will always give it away. mf has an awful tone problem when hes having a bad day. simon’s words are often harsh when hes having a bad day but his physical nature says the complete opposite.

“just shut up baby, you sound so stupid” he’d groan at you, but at the same time he’d pull you closer into him, kneading your soft skin in his hands gently. as if he is always apologizing after every mean phrase that comes out from those parted lips. and when that hurt whine comes from your lips hes already ‘shh’-ing you and rubbing your side.

my simon riley is infatuated with his sweetheart being all dolled up and dumbed down. he loves himself a stupid dumb girl that just cant do anything by herself. of course he knows hes needed for work, but simon has never felt needed outside of his job title. even if he’d never admit it without some emotional talks, he could cry over the fact that you need him. that something as precious and pure as you needs a man as rough and battered as him. he knows deep down youre not a stupid girl, youre bright and just curious, as he likes to put it. he loves being able to explain simple things to you, loves that you call him because you forget how to turn the oven fan off and how to cut a mango. hes so thankful that hes not needed for life or death situations with you like he constantly is for work.

my simon riley is obsessed with the idea of getting you pregnant. he is a sucker for breeding. when hes left alone in thought he always, without a doubt, thinks about you having his babies and forever being in his life. he just knows you’d be such a good mom. you are the only person he can even picture caring for his own. your sweet and kind nature on the daily shows how maternal you are and it just makes that soft spot in his heart swell and get bigger every time he pictures it. hes also smitten with your waist line. oh god dont even get the man started on your back dimples and the curves of your hips. simon’s lips are always on your abdomen and tummy.

“gonna have my babies in here one day sweetie, youre gonna look so pretty all knocked up” he mumbles in between warm open-mouth kisses right under your belly button. his heavy fingers digging into the dips of your back as he pulls you inexplicably closer to him.

he really is such a sensitive man under all that scar tissue and bulky muscle. in my head simon is an april taurus sun, pisces moon, and rising gemini. so basically, the taurus in him showcases he has a very rough exterior that is great at displaying leadership and grounding skills, but the pisces on the inside makes him sensitive and he has a lot of emotions, then the gemini in him makes him come across as independent and deceitful at first. i could go on forever about this mans astrology chart.

simon riley who always brags about you to his friends. he’s very careful with talking about you at work though. he would most definitely set the world on fire if anything bad happened to his sweet angel girl. when he’s back from deployment, out at some shitty pub with johnny . . he can’t keep his lips sealed about you.

“i know ‘m gonna marry that girl. i know it, gonna give her my last name and at least four kids . . you wanna know what she made for dinner when i got home from the last deployment?” he rambles to poor soap who just wanted to get out of his apartment.

[bubbleddisasters]

(Can’t believe I’m writing my first ever x reader (kind of) this but the Self Aware Au is so interesting to me)

Code Escaping: Heartstabyl Edition.

(All Students (can be viewed as platonic or romantic, Orthos is strictly platonic though)

Gender Neutral Reader!

——-

After several attempts, and failures, they finally succeeded.

They got through

To your world.

What next? Try and Find you, Rush to your side first thing and try to casually explain that a video game character broke out of their code to see them?

Maybe set things up first? Comfy living, then an easy way to find you? Or go off clues from things you used to say or areas he saw behind you? Or did he get lucky and he’s two feet away?

Man, He should have checked the code for your location…..No time to lose!

------------------

𝑯𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒃𝒚𝒍

-----------------

𝑹𝒊𝒅𝒅𝒍𝒆 🌹

——

Truth be told, he got quite lucky.

A library is where he arrived, one he recognized as your hiding spot to study, or simply relax.

So, he found every tome he thought relevant on what he needed to know of the basics of your world, aswell as the one he last witnessed you study, and sat himself in the seat next to where you usually did, awaiting your arrival.

Was it timely? Perhaps, Perhaps not.

You’d been slightly (Very) annoyed that for some reason, none of your Riddle cards would show his appearance. The Chibi was no where to be seen, and your homescreen vacant of him.

So as you made your way to your spot, you nearly shrieked because either thats a damn good cosplay or Riddle Rosehearts was very casually reading the history textbook your teacher assigned while sitting four feet away from your usual spot.

Steel blue eyes scoped to check the noise, and sat up instantly.

“Just as I expected, you’d arrive here sooner or later. You certainly took your time, however.”

Before you could process the fact he sounded suspiciously like Ciel Phantomhive, he quite literally summoned a tea set. Out of thin air.

And was just staring. Most definitely waiting for you to sit down casually like he didn’t summon an entire china set with piping hot tea in a magicless world.

This was the real deal. Mommy Issues Supreme was now officially your problem. Good Luck.

————————

𝑻𝒓𝒆𝒚♣

——

He remembered the name of the bakery down the street you visited.

As a joke, when you’d finished book one, you’d ordered a Strawberry Tart. He couldn’t exactly remember if you actually ate it, or gave it away, but it was funny, regardless.

Using Paint the Roses, he altered a napkin into a very nice resume, and he got a job there.

When Trey up and vanished from your homescreen, you’d gone to get a pastry to cheer yourself up. Not the best coping skill, but hey, it works.

It was pretty late, and it seemed they were closing up, so you planned to just be in and out, not wanting to make their job any harder.

The little bell rung as you entered, and the little alarms in your head went off when you arrived at the counter, and a-wait, why would someone cosplay at their job? Trey and working at a Bakery fit together, but…wait a second. Thats not a wig, and thats not contacts either.

If Ingame Trey was missing, and this guy looked exactly like him…..Nope, Not Possible.

Trying to play it casual , you ordered the usual and once you had it, sat down as you normally would.

But when you took a bite of your treat, it tasted like….Strawberry. Then Chestnut. What the hell.

You unintentionally had an odd staring contest with the current cashier, who then held out a scarily familiar pen, chuckling a bit as he placed it on the counter.

“Surprise.”

After making his way around the counter, he sat down on the other side of the table, doing his best to not freak you out too much.

“Yea, I know this might be a bit confusing, and It’s probably not easy to process all this, so take your time, and I’ll answer any questions you have.”

Great, because you had several.

——————-

𝑪𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒓♦

——

Social Media Stalking but not Stalking was his forte.

The first thing he did was make pretty much every account he could on medias he knew you had. Like Tumblr.

He decided it would be way too freaky to just pop up out of nowhere, so as he was thinking and exploring, he took a few selfies and photoshoots here are there.

And WOW. They blew up. At first he thought it was the general math of Attractive Guy + Good Photos of him = Alot of Views. He had sorta kinda forgot other people knew about Twist until he noticed the flood of “Cater IRL” and “THE Cater Cosplay” comments. Which gave him an idea.

After the annoyance of all your Caters being lost in the code sauce, you messed around online until you accidentally pulled up a page with the greatest Cater Cosplay you had ever witnessed.

You had to do a double take when the follow button said “Follow Back”. You complied with the buttons wishes and followed them back.

After a while, you somehow ended up dming back and forth with him, and his strangely Cater coded texts. You also discovered that it apparently wasn’t a cosplay, and just his natural appearance was scarily similar to Caters..and his name was Cater, which was accidentally revealed by a Starbucks barista calling out after finishing making his drink while you were calling.

Part of you suspected that this could be the real Cater, with all the math adding up, and the other half of you called you a fucking idiot for that.

Little did you know the first one was exactly what Cater was hoping for.

With that, he managed to do some kinda social media stalking ( but not like, Rook Levels, DW) and found your general area based on area matching (TY Google Maps!) and nearly jumped for joy when he realized it was where he was too.

He subtly managed to sneak that in conversation, and set up a meetup between you two, a brunch and phone shopping. Weird Pick on the last one, but you decided not to judge.

The first thing he said when you arrived confused you, alot.

With a bright smile, he waved you over.

“Hey! Long Time no see!”

Ignoring the aggressive red flag in that statement with a simple “Maybe he meant since we called” as if you didn’t call him last night to plan this out, either way, you scooted in.

You two got so distracted chatting, at one point making up a game of fake gossiping the craziest things to see if anyone reacted, and for your own entertainment.

Because of that, your drink went warm, and as soon as you mentioned it, you got your answer to the “Where did my Caters go.” question.

Why? Because, as if this had happened before, he simply refroze it. Magically.

As you stared in pure awe and confusion, he grimaced upon the realization his cover was pretty much blown.

“Whoops…Lets just pretend that didn’t happen, and I’ll explain later, ‘Kay?”

You just had to pray nobody witnessed that, as Area 51 did definitely did not sound like Cay-Cays ideal Vacay.

——

𝑨𝒄𝒆♥

—

He thought it would be fucking HILARIOUS to prank you, as, unfortunately for you, he ended up in your house, only to find out you were asleep, which gave him the opportunity to PUA (Prank Upon Arrival)

For the next several hours of your waking life, Ace of Hearts playing cards of varying sizes would be infesting your house, or when you’d put something down and look away, there was either a card on it or it had been replaced by a card.

You were also robbed of leftovers you’d been saving, and a few snacks by this card demon.

After you left the house vacant (you fool), the Knave struck again, this time sneaking out and guessing your next move, heading off to a cafe because you needed caffeine after the card madness, until you had already ordered, and you had turned on Twist while waiting for your drink.

Quietly, he slid into the chair infront of you as you grumbled.

“He’s not on the homescreen either—Where the hell are all my Ace cards?”

Hehe, Infront of you. This is the best setup ever.

Leaning back on the chair, he couldn’t contain a grin as he faked obliviousness.

“I dunno. Maybe try looking around a lil’ more?”

Not paying much attention to who was talking to you in your moment of despair , you sighed, swiping back to the home screen.

“They’re not those kinds of cards.”

“Aren’t like, five of them card themed?”

“Four right now, since Ace has seemingly gone and fucked off to another dimension:”

“Yeaaa, about that. It was not as easy to do as you’re making it sound. Just saying.”

You looked up for a split second, then did a double take and nearly skyrocketed out of your chair, making indecipherable confusion noises while he laughed his ass off, totally soaking in the success of his perfect surprise you had unintentionally enabled.

While you stood frozen in shock, he simply grabbed your things, put them in your hand, S̶t̶o̶l̶e̶ grabbed your coffee, and whisked you out the door.

I pray for you, good luck dealing with him.

——

𝑫𝒆𝒖𝒄𝒆♠

——

Woke up in either your garage or kitchen, and was confused. Rightfully so.

Since he couldn’t really find you around, but at least recognized this as your house, he just waddled around more or less, fixing random things here and cleaning up there while trying to find clues to where you might be, or if he should just wait here.

He finally found a grocery list, which you had forgotten, and spent the next 10 minutes trying to find the nearest grocery store while unintentionally locking himself out of the house in the process, so made the genius decision to hope you were still at the grocery store and dashed over.

You’re doing great, dude.

Anywho, he got lucky, because in the middle of carrying off your shopping bags, your notification that your AP was full went off, and as you went to use it, you noticed a severe lack of Deuce on your homescreen.

This lead to sitting on a bench and getting distracted trying to figure out why the hell this glitch had only affected your Deuce cards, so you weren’t paying much attention when you heard a voice somewhat far off but close.

“Oh hey! There you are!”

Assuming it was for someone else, you continued trying to fix the “glitch”, then paused when you heard the voice from before right infront of you.

“Do you need help with carrying those bags?”

The words “I’m good, thanks.” died on your tongue when you looked up, only to be face to face with the guy you’d been suffering trying to figure out where he went for 20 minutes. Ingame. In a VIDEO GAME.

Internally, you practically short-circuited, after you panicked, he started panicking, and you both ended up in a weird confusion panic that had the energy of the spidermans pointing at eachother meme.

Great job! You have now acquired a German Shepard Golden Retriever mix in human form.

————

Bonus :

——

𝑪𝒉𝒆'𝒏𝒚𝒂⤵➟

——

Unlike most of them, he had absolutely zero trouble hopping into your world.

However, instead of revealing himself right away, he decided to be the ghost of good deeds and mischief. And a random black cat you’d suspiciously find on your window sill demanding pets or cuddles.

Luckily transforming, flying, invisibility, and the rest of his magic ability seemed to work just fine.

Sometimes, you’d randomly find things placed in unusual places, spoons on the ceiling, for example, the paintings or pictures sometimes randomly taking on very funny faces, teacups and plates floating around at 2am, leaving you to assume it was a sleepy hallucination.

Other times you’d be aggravatingly trying to fix something, look away for one moment, and not only was it fixed, it looked almost brand new. Or you’d open the fridge or pantry, and notice the lack of food, then open it again, and i’d be filled to the brim.

You never noticed anything too strange on Twist itself however until you got bored one day, and decided to replay Heartstabyls chapters, only to realize Che’nya was…completely missing.

Out of sheer curiosity, you checked his Pomfieore Chapter appearance. Nothing. Gone.

Trying to see if it was just the WIFI connection, you moved rooms, only to see a blink of purple in the corner of your eye.

Lounging in the air by the window, tail swaying lazily, he peeked over, then grinned his signature grin.

“Nya-ice to meet you~”

———

Yay! Thats all!!

Holy shit I can’t believe I wrote this, feel free to take me out (Date or Assassination I really don’t care)

Alright! I might do more but they might not be in dorm order, see ya!

[charswithbatsmybeloved]

I really like My Hero Academia but there's only one major thing that I would change (except for the Bakudeku thing ending as the longest enemies-to- obsessive compulsive will they won't they) and that's probably the structure and power of One for All. While all the other powers in MHA are very niche, very unique, and very simple, one for all isn't just one power but several incredibly powerful quirks all mashed together into one. And thats fucking stupid.

Wait, don't leave yet! I can explain!! When we first meet deku, the first thing we learn about who he is other than being quirkless is that he's incredibly intelligent and very competent at understanding and strategizing related to quirks. Despite not having a quirk of his own, or maybe because of it, Deku has almost an obsession with learning about people's powers and understanding exactly how they work and their limits. This makes him a great candidate for a power that requires a lot of careful use because he's so good at understanding his own limits and strategizing from every aspect.

But the power of One for All doesn't allow for Deku to use his crazy intelligence to build strategy or find unique uses for his ability. He has 7 powers to master to become a master of OFA. This overabundance of incredibly strong powers means he never truly gets creative with their use. He's a jack of all trades, sure, but he doesn't really struggle for his powers in the same way that everyone else does. Everyone else has to be inventive, crafty, and skilled to become great. But Deku, the character most suitable for that development, never gets to show it.

Intelligence and creativity related to your quirk are highly valued in this world. Because powers are so niche, to use them effectively in many situations often requires a high level of training and you have to know every limit of your power. Heroes aren't directly police sanctioned and can't make proper arrests. They're not legally authorized to kill or detain villains long term, their main job is to protect the peace by taking down enemies who're using their powers to hurt civilians. This makes combat tricky because you aren't supposed to seriously injure someone if you can help it at all.

Because of that combat heroes have to be very careful about their training. This also means that more damaging and dangerous quirks like Bakugous have to be managed by him for nonlethal combat. OFA is the kind of powerful quirk that could kill if Deku isn't careful. But he never shows concern or does any proper training to manage his power levels in that regard. He's never shown worrying about the kind of damage his power could do to the people he's fighting, and his hero warship of All Might prevents him from considering the risks of the power. This could have serious risks but they're never explored like the rest of the world is.

Deku knew he was trying to be a hero. And before he met All Might, he had full intentions to become a hero without a quirk to his name. So it makes no sense that this analytically intelligent aspiring hero wouldn't have started strength training to be strong enough in the hero course until All Might begins training him for the quirk. At least to me, this struggle feels artificial, something to handicap Deku without affecting the actual ability he was given. The truth is, Horikoshi wrote an imperfect, gorgeously thought out world that I wouldn't have even dreamed up the implications of. But he didn't want to give All Might and by extension OFA any real deep flaws. Because of that, when Midoriya inherits the quirk he breaks his limbs unable to control it. But once he understands how to use it, all of his problems with it vanish. There are no actual side effects once Deku has the physical ability. After that, we only see deku developing more powers. And he has to master them as he discovers them, sure, but it's never really an issue to seriously struggle with his powers afterwards.

If I were to change One for All, I would dramatically tone down the power Deku has. In my version, he only has the major strength increase, but no matter which one he inherits, it needs to be just one, Comparable-To-Todoroki strength power. Maybe Dekus power is weaker than All Mights because he hasn't trained the power to its full strength. Maybe it has to be managed by releasing excess energy because Deku is so constantly restless. Maybe the lightning it releases could hurt someone past a normal punch taking them down. But it needs to have a proper side effect apart from Dekus body being unused to it and unable to really master it for the first 2 seasons. I would make Deku physically strong enough, or close to it, when the show starts but Deku can still struggle with letting the quirk flow through his body. Maybe his anxieties limit the quirk from kicking in in dangerous situations. It can be anything, something simple, but it has to be a valid side effect from a severe and sudden physical enhancement.

But more than anything else, I want Deku to grow using his own analytical skills. While Deku is behind his classmates on training at the beginning, he has no issue surpassing all of them in class and he understands theory really well. Let him use his already developed character to make himself more powerful. Let him get creative with it, improve and grow without artificial hacks propelling him so far ahead.

Thank you for coming to my very long Ted talk.

[aquato-family-circus]

I think an additionally understated element in the tragedy of the Psychonauts' degradation is how much it had to have affected Lili and Truman. The latter has to bear the responsibility of needing to keep the organization that his Uncle and the other founders started, despite unfortunately also not really having the means to truly "fix" the heart and soul of the organization due to the founders' various mental issues. The kind of burden he must be under, that feeling of never being quite good enough to hold the mantle but still trying his damdest to keep things together with what skills and tools he has...

I think that's probably another factor of why he would bring on agents like Hollis, Sasha, and Milla; because even if none of them can truly begin to fix the problem, they end up sharing a lot of the qualities needed that represent what his family tried to do. The drive to help others fight their inner demons, the drive to explore the human mind, and the love to try to aid those who need it is there (albeit not perfect, given their mixed record with the Campers of Whispering Rock), even if only to find and mentor those who came later on in hopes of prolonging things.

And Lili, even if she can't entirely pin the specifics, had to grow up with that burden as well. Daughter of a man stuck with that kind of burden, the distance mixed with love for her father, but still perceptive enough to recognize that something is clearly missing and gone from the Psychonauts, the broken family dynamic with her Uncle whom she's never met and her missing mother...

Truman's entire baggage where he became the leader and had to literally fire his uncle AND see most of the others become reclusive and unwell because of all their shared gried is so sad... like that was his uncle helmut who died, that was the lucy he got to know as a young adult as a sweet, passionate woman who was basically like an aunt to him

truman almost certainly volunteered to hep build the PN organization after maligular was defeated in hopes that he could help lighten the load (and maybe work to cope with his losses)...

from the very little we know about the real truman, he doesnt seem like the guy who likes or wants to be in charge, since he's apparently been trying to put hollis in charge for years

but he's also ultimately the best person for the job bc of how his reaching out to hollis parallels how ford was reaching out to people like compton

they both knew these people struggling and making awful mistakes just needed a chance to develop their skills and flourish in the right conditions

from a very easy to miss conversation we know lili says (paraphrasing) that uncle bob would never hurt her dad. and truman sends pictures of lili to bob despite the pain and distance between them... im sure truman really wishes his daughter could know these people the way he grew to know them... and it messes lili up bc she really probably only has gotten to speak to compton and otto, a nervous wreck and a reclusive weirdo respectively. her perception of the rest of them is through stories told to her & through comic books, thats so wack

the fact shes rly only gonna get to know her uncles after all this tragedy is, well... tragic!!

[waffliesinyoface]

continuing the trend of nonsensical narutoposting, i'm going to share my headcanons for how self-reflective and/or emotionally health all of the akatsuki are. 

itachi: this man has no self reflection skills at all. he thinks he is Fine. if you really pressed him, he might admit to having some "slightly" "controlling tendencies". But other people are wrong anyways, so really, he's just being polite. This is a massive understatement, and is only one of the many, many things wrong with him. (“I’m a pacifist :(,” says Itachi, "Violence is wrong,” he says, genjutsu-ing a man into being mentally eaten by crows until he dies, “I wonder how itouto is doing,” he wonders, casually setting a man on fire.)

kisame: above average self-reflection skills. he has correctly deduced that he is depressed and a little paranoid. however he is also resigned to it, because that's the default state for most ninjas, especially ones from Mist. Probably does not realize that some of his issues are giant red berserk buttons.

deidara: mentally stable? ehhh *vague hand gesture*. honest with himself? he knows exactly what he's about. him bitching about his job and coworkers constantly is probably very grating, but emotionally healthy for him. good for him.

sasori: he knows himself well enough that he knew he would prefer to literally embody his art. however, he is great at convincing himself he doesnt have emotions when in fact he does have quite a few.

hidan: somehow, the most emotionally healthy akatsuki member?? he knows what he wants, what he likes, what he's passionate about, etc. other people might wish he was a bit more conflicted about things but thats Their Problem, not his. However this is not  because he’s better at this than anyone else, this is because unlike everyone else in the group, he has no trauma. Trauma is what happens to other people when they meet him. 

kakuzu: on some level, probably realizes he has Issues™. Does not connect his constant frothing rage to these issues. That’s clearly just his default, he's been like that for ages. (no!!!)

pein: so hilariously bad at this whole emotional/self-reflection thing that naruto’s special talk-no-jutsu caused him to die

konan: she knows that she is, on some level, fucked up, but she has buried that under layers of professionalism and murder and also paper. Deals with things better than pein but like. They were both super codependent on each other and i really wish we could’ve seen what she was like after pein’s death. Because i feel like it could’ve been the stepping stone to her being more unhinged in new and interesting ways. However, she was immediately murdered by obito as part of madara’s plot to get new special eyes. fuck you, kishimoto!!!!!

tobi: this man is somehow, even worse than pein. if the naruto universe was interested in things like “higher education” and “things that dont involve new and creative methods of murder”, there would be so many psychology majors dying to study him like a bug. why are you like this, obito. Your tragic backstory about getting crushed in a cave-in and being manipulated taught by your weird grampa and seeing rin die and everything does not adequately explain anything about you. Not only does he have the self-reflection skills of a mushroom, but I don’t think he even knows why he does the things he does in the first place.

zetsu: disqualified due to being a plant/vessel for an evil alien/guy who got chewed up and spat out by said alien. Asking if he’s emotionally healthy is like asking what the color blue smells like. Curious about the very concept in the same way that he is curious about the Experience of Having To Poop. 

[fangirlstorycreator]

Taligaro X Reader

Context: Taligaro can see you need a break, so he helps you relax 💚

You and Taligaro had been together for almost a year now, and not only were you his soul mate but also the most skilled and clever warrior he had in his entire army. But there was a reputation you had to uphold when the entire army thought so much of you, they always wanted to see a strong, proud, confident warrior who is always focused on the job and possible dangers that could come in view at any moment. It wasn't however, what you could always be. Yes you were all of those things, but you didn't want to be that all the time, you couldn't be that all the time. You were still a young woman, a young woman with feelings, needs and emotions, having to always be so strong for everyone else, did take its toll on you. That's why you loved being with Taligaro, he understood you and he would always be there to help you through any situation. He loved you for who you are and never made you feel like anything less than a goddess. You knew you made the right choice being with him, he was perfection in your eyes. Many times during the time you were together, you and Taligaro had to move with the army across the lands to take on contracts or help innocent people, and travel did tire you out, but with Taligaro but your side, it was so much easier. However, there were times that your mind got the better of you, where you would tell yourself that your problems aren't something you should bother anyone about. Everyone else is struggling too, so your issues aren't as important, feeling that was like having the weight of an elephants foot being pressed on your chest.

One day, you and Taligaro were in the large tent where the meetings would be held on where they had to move next, and in walks a soldier. "General" "Yes?" "We have been to the neighbouring town and seen a notice for a destruction and removal of a wild manticore close to innocent people. Shall we take this on?" "Yes, it sounds like it will pay well. Gather the men to arrange who will complete this contract" "Yes General" and just like that, he left the tent and walked straight back to the men outside. "A manticore? Tal those things are dangerous, they're going to need some potions to take with them. I know of some that Ezekiel has in his collection, shall I see if he has any he can give to the men?" "That sounds like a good idea my darling" You give him a weak smile and are about to leave the tent, when he gently takes your hand. "Y/N? Are you ok?" "I'm fine, why wouldn't I be?" "You've been very quiet this morning, I just want to make sure nothings wrong" "No Tal, like I said, I'm fine. I'll see you in a little while" You walk out of the tent and head into the camp, feeling your fingers slip away from his as you exit, you don't see it, but he is watching you as you go, and he knows something isn't right with you, his face is a war of worry.

You arrived at Ezekiel's tent, he was the mage of the army and he always had potions, elixers and many diffrent types of ingredients and remedies. "Hey Ezekiel" "Y/N! It's good to see you my dear. What will you need needing?" "I was just wondering if you had anything that the men can take with them to hunt a manticore?" "A manticore! Hhmmmm, that's definitely going to be a difficult job. Let's have a look in hear" He looks on the wooden shelf behind him at all these different shaped and coloured vials, all with their own unique qualities. "Ah! Hear we are. I have hear some magma essence, some peppered toadstool and last but not least, some wolfsbane. The wolfsbane had proved to be very effective against manticore's, make sure the men lace their weapons with this before they attack, it will give them the extra damage in the hunt" "Thats great Ezekiel....thank you..." He turns his head to the side. "My dear Y/N, are you alright?" "Hmm?" "You don't look like yourself today, is something troubling you?" You exhale out deeply, it seems that both him and Taligaro could see something wrong, it's only right to tell someone. "I don't want to make a fuss Ezekiel" "Nonsense girl! You know I'm happy to help you with whatever you need. You helped me when I was struggling to propose to Johnathan, so please, tell me what's bothering you" He gestures to a seat, so you sit down and he is ready to listen to you. "I just feel like a burden sometimes" "A burden? Why on earth would you think that?"

"I've thought it about myself many times. I have this reputation of being so strong and so skilled with my weapons" "But you are skilled" "But I can't be forever can I? What if there comes a day where I hurt myself in a fight and can't protect Tal or everyone else? Or if someone much stronger decides to join the army? Will I just be thrown out? Or will noone want to be around me anymore?" "No Y/N, how are you able to think that about yourself? Noone in this army would ever abandoned you or kick you out. You are appreciated by everyone, and Taligaro loves you with all his heart. Have you spoken to him about how you feel?" "I dont know if I can...I don't want to bother him with my problems, he has enough of his own to worry about" "Oh Y/N, but-" "I'm sorry Ezekiel, I probably shouldn't have said anything. I-I have to go, I'm sorry to leave so soon. I promise I'll catch up with you later" "Well...ok Y/N, I'll see you soon" You manage to contain the emotions as you exit the tent, Ezekiel is now wondering what he could do to help. "Hello Ezekiel" "Huh? What? Oh! General, it's you. I didnt see you there. Did you just slip in through the back of my tent?" "Yes, my apologies, but I was hoping to talk to you" "Of course general, is this about Y/N?" "It is...I over heard the conversation between you both, I knew something was bothering her"

"From what she told me, I think she is under much stress. She has to behave and be a certain way when she is around the soldiers, it sounds like its exhausting her" "I think you right Ezekiel, I don't know what to do, I didn't know she has felt like this before, I hate that she does everything to help everyone around her but she feels that she doesn't deserve the same treatment? Is it me? Have I not shown her how much I love her?" "Of course not General, I've never seen a man more devoted to his woman more than you. She knows you love her...maybe she just needs some time away from what she has to be" "What do you mean" "Give the girl a break from her role, take her out for the night, help her feel more herself and have some fun! She has so much responsibility in this army, help her feel freedom again, help her smile, treat her to a night away from this, lord knows she deserves it" "That's brilliant Ezekiel, thank you. That's exactly what I will do" It was getting close to sunset now, and you had just helped some of the soldiers saddle up with the potions to hunt the manticore. They were just heading away from the camp when you turned back and headed back to the tents, and you were still feeling low about everything. All these thoughts were running through your mind, bad thoughts about yourself and how you don't think anyone should bother listening to you, even telling Ezekiel what was wrong earlier felt like he might have waisted his time.

Your so lost in your thoughts that your not paying attention to what's going on around you, resulting in you walking straight into Taligaro. "Oh! Hey Y/N, there you are!" "Sorry Tal, I didn't see you there" "Nah don't worry about it my love, I was hoping to see you anyway, I have a plan for us this evening, I'm talking you out" "Why?" "Why not? Come on let's go and enjoy ourselves!" "I'm not really feeling like it...why don't you take someone else with you... I might just go to bed" The whole time you spoke to him, you looked sad and tried not to look him in the eyes, all while he looked exited about taking you out. You try to walk away from him but he stops you by gently holding your wrist with his large strong hand. "Y/N...I don't want to spend time with anyone else...I want to be with you....Look, I know something is bothering you, and if you don't want to discuss it, I'm not going to force you. But I can't let you suffer alone...please...just come out with me tonight? If you still don't like it in an hour, I promise I'll bring you back home. Just give it a chance Y/N, give me a chance....please? I love you and I want to help you" You were able to keep your tears back as he said this, despite wanting to burst into a crying fit and fall into his arms. "Ok Tal...I'll try for an hour" "Wonderful! Now come with me my beautiful muse, I have much I wish to show you"

You and him climbed onto his horse and Taligaro lead it through the trees and on towards the town about a mile away. You could see it in the distance, and the closer you got, the more your other senses knew about the town. You could see the vibrant colours of the celebration banners, you could hear the sound of music, childrens laughter and people having fun. And you could smell the sweet puddings in the air, the smell of boar meat and fresh mead being poured out to anyone who wished it.

Taligaro lead his horse through the town, just watching the children play and run through the town as the music played was helping you feel better. You had to spend so much time being an important part of the army, this felt nice knowing you didnt have to try so hard. Taligaro climbed off his horse and helped you down too, he gave the stable boy the reigns and you both walk hand in hand into the streets of this celebration. It was even nicer walking though it all, it was so vibrant, so lively, it was wonderful. Taligaro and you walked past all the stalls in the town, some were ladened with sweet fruits, some with jewellery and others had many diffrent things for sale.

Taligaro saw you eyeing up the sweet fruits and he bought you a bag of many diffrent ones. You both walked through the streets past all these people, laughing together and eating cherries, strawberries, blackberries and raspberries. Taligaro loved the raspberries and you loved the cherries, you both decided to go back later and buy some more when you travel again. You carried on through all the stalls, when Taligaro spots a stall with a little lady selling home made fruit teas. "Excuse me my lady, may we purchase some tea from you?" "Of course young man, hear, there are two mugs for you both" Taligaro pays her and you both take a seat on a nearby wall. The teas look so delicious, it was steaming with this beautiful colour and had mixed berries floating at the top. It's smelled so fresh and sweet, and when you took a sip it tasted amazing. So fresh, so fruity and you couldn't get enough.

"So my beautiful darling, are you having fun so far?" "I'm am Tal, this place is wonderful! The people are so happy and the stalls are so colourful and creative. Not to mention this tea is so delicious" "I know, I've already finished mine. I'll just be a moment Y/N, I'm just going to pop over to that stall" He gives you a kiss on the cheek and makes his way over to the little stall, happily chatting to the man behind it.

You couldn't deny that you were feeling better, you were glad Taligaro brought you out hear, you really did love him so much and loved that he put so much effort into making you smile. He was definitely successful at that. He came back over to you with a happy smile on his face, his smile alone was perfect enough.

"Did you get anything at the stall Tal?" "Eh, not really, I just wanted a little look. So? It's been an hour, the question is...do you want to go back yet?" "No Tal, I don't. Please can we stay hear a little longer? Please?" "Of course my darling, I'm so happy I was able to cheer you up. Are you ready to keep going?" He asks as he stands up and gives you his hand, but you don't take it, instead you give him a happy smile, stand up and pull him in for a sweet and equally loving kiss, he melted into your touch and held you as the kiss got better and better. "What did I do to earn that?" "You were yourself Tal, that's all you did" He smiles and presses his forhead against yours "Come on, let's see what else there is to experience" You both carry on going through the market, eating, drinking and having a wonderful time together. You had spent a good couple of hours in the town and had a truly wonderful time with him, and as the sun started to set, everyone started to go their own ways and head back to their homes. "Aww it's a shame we have to go back, I'm not nearly tired yet" "Well it's a good thing were not going back yet my beautiful muse" "Really? Where are we going?" "Its a suprise...just come with me"

He took your hand and guided you away from the town, down towards a quite area of forest. At first it was just like a normal wooded area, but then these beautiful blue luminescent lights were shining along this glowing path, it was gorgeous and looked like something out of a fairytale.

"Wow Tal, this is wonderful" "It is...but this isnt the best part...let's keep going" He lead you down this path for another 5 minutes, it was just lovely walking and chatting with him, you didnt even need to see what was at the end, this was lovely enough. But that's when you see what he was eager to show you, you had never seen anything more tranquil or beautiful in your life, you thought the path was something from a fairytale, but it seems you were incorrect. It was an enormous and crystal clear waterfall, falling down into this pool of clear water, full of fallen flower petals and streaks of light from the sunset.

"Tal....I don't know what to say...." "Then don't say anything Y/N...just follow my lead..." Taligaro walks up to the water and starts to remove his chest armour. He pulls it away and it falls to the floor, showing off his beautiful back muscles to you, he then slowly pulls at his trousers and they fall to the floor too, now showing off his impressive and muscular legs and buttox. You didn't realise your mouth was hanging wide open as you stare at him in all his naked glory and he knew you were loving the view. He smirked as he stepped into the water and started to swim in the deep part of the water. "Come on in Y/N, join me!" You couldn't say no to him, especially after that little strip show he put on for you. You walked to the waters edge and did exactly the same thing he did to you. You slowly undressed infront of him, and he watched every movement you made, he couldn't keep his eyes off you.

Your whole outfit fell to the floor and you walked into the water too. You glided through the slightly tepid water all the way over to Taligaro, he pulled you into his arms as he holds you against his chest, it even made you giggle. You were both floating together in the middle of this natural pool, you had never felt more relaxed during your time of travel. "Tal, you are literally the most wonderful man I have ever known. I didn't want to come out tonight, but I'm so glad that you convinced me"

"I wanted to do all of this for you Y/N, you mean the world to me and I wanted to show you that" "I'm sorry for how I was before" "Don't apologise Y/N, if you weren't feeling yourself its nothing to apologise about. I was walking past the tent when you were talking to Ezekiel today....I know why you were feeling down. I'm sorry that I made it difficult for you to feel like you couldn't talk to me about what you were feeling" "Oh no no Tal, its not that, that's not why I was hesitant to talk to you. I just didn't want to be a burden to you. You have so much going on with the army and the last thing I want to do is trouble you with something that's bothering me" "I may be the General of my own army, but nothing, absolutely nothing is more important than you. I was so lost and alone before I met you Y/N, I never knew I was worthy of love, and then I end up falling in love with the most perfect and beautifully stunning woman I could ever imagine" "Oh Tal" "You can trust me my darling, I love you, and when you have these thoughts about yourself, I want you to feel comfortable enought to talk to me. I'll always listen to you, and when you need it, I'll help you escape the worry and expectations" "This is why you brought me hear tonight didn't you? To help escape from the army" "That is true Y/N. The men can be quite blunt and brutal when they expect certain things, but you don't have to be that person all the time, just be you. I didn't fall in love with a warrior, I fell in love with you. My beautiful Y/N, the woman who giggles anytime she hears something that sounds slightly naughty in a sentence, the woman who's eyes light up when she sees a cute little animal. I love how you hold me in your arms when I have a nightmare, and I love that whenever I'm having a bad day, you'll pull me away in private and makeout with me until I feel so relaxed that the loudest soldier couldn't annoy me. I love every part of you Y/N, and I will escape with you every single time you need it"

"I love you so much blondie bear" "And I love you my beautiful angel" You lean in and kiss Taligaro as he holds you in the water, it was like you were floating in your own haven. The kiss started to gradually get more and more sensual, running your hands and fingers into his lions mane, his hands moving over every part of your bare naked body he could possibly touch, all of this was making you feel so wanted, so seen, so loved. He takes your hips under the water and pulls your legs up to wrap around his waist, you could already feel that he was hard for you. The kiss never broke as he gripped the base of his cock and started sliding back and forth against your wetness, stroking his thick girthy length over your sensitive clit, it made you shudder at the feel of him. And as soon as the kiss broke so you could take a breath, he slid right inside you making you gasp at the sensation. Your grip in his hair tightened as he entered you and he looked deep into your eyes to watch your every movement. Your breath shudders as you grind against him, feeling his hips move in just the right way that you can feel his cock fill you completely, he always knew how to move to make you feel incredible. No matter how many times you slept with him, it always felt like the first time, so exciting, so passionate and he filled you to the brim. The pace picked up between you, the only sound from all around was the grunts of Taligaro, the whimpers and moans from you, and the slight splashing and rippling of the water around you.

Everything was feeling too good, and within the next few moments, you were struggling to contain the moans of pure excitement and pleasure as your orgasm flows through you, making your legs spasm as the whole lower part of your body feels like it's on fire. Taligaro moans out loud as he cums too, slightly biting into your neck as he goes through his own orgasm, but you loved when he bit you like that. Your both shaking a little when your coming down from your highs, kissing eachother again as the moment slowly goes back to normal, it was always amazing being intimate with Taligaro.

"I love you so much my blondie bear" "I love you too...its getting dark my angel, I think it's time to head back to shore and get dressed" You nod your head in agreement and you both untangle yourselves from eachother, swimming back to shore. Once your both dressed again, your about to head back in the direction of the town when Taliagro stops you. "Wait Y/N, there's one more thing I wish to give you" "If it's another orgasm Tal you might have to wait till we get back to camp. I wont lie, I'm still a little sensitive down there" "(chuckles) No no Y/N, not that....I bought you a gift. I saw it at the market and I wanted to give it to you, something that reminds me of you. It's rare, unique and beautiful....just like you" He reaches into his back pocket and pulls out the most sparkly neclace you had ever seen, it was adorned with these beautiful little pearl's and seashells, and the inside of it had this crystal like glass that made it look like it had the stars inside.

"Tal, this is beautiful. Thank you so much" "There's no need to thank me my love, I wanted to give you something that showed just how perfect you are" He holds it up a little more as you hold your hair up and turn your back to him, he moves his hands over your shoulders and starts to clasp it behind your neck. Once he does, he cant help but run his fingers over your collarbone and stroke over the soft skin of your neck. You turn to face him and show him how you look with it on. "I love it Tal, your my everything" You both share a sweet and tight hug, he really was so cute to you. When you both pulled away, he put his finger under your chin and said "Now, was there something you said about waiting till we get back to the camp? Too...you know..." "You think you have the energy to go again?" "Oh trust me my angel....I have the energy to go allllll night loooong...."

[our-reality]

can we hear abt ivory or archie please... if you want specific questions i can give those too

IVORY AND ARCHIE YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYA ^_^^ sorry sorry im normal i PROMISE you im normal. um anyways

STARTING WITH IVORY he's a funky guy . he's a silhouette in those doodles because he's a shadowwalker polyplanial. now that means nothing to anyone who isnt me so let me explain. polyplanism is one of the 7 magic types in this universe, allowing wielders to shift what dimension they're in at will. there's two kinds of polyplanism too, those being shadowwalking (which allows you to become a shadow and blend into other shadows), and dreamwalking (which allows you to go inside someone's dreams; this is the kind baylin is, for example). much like with wildinist species, you're assigned a kind at birth, and as you may be able to guess this but ivory was born a shadowwalker :3 his whole deal is that he's a kleptomaniac, he steals things compulsively and tries to surround himself with as many things as possible. he fucks around is what im getting at. and the local police dont do anything because theyre useless ^_^ he thinks of himself as a robinhood type figure, trying to dismantle the establishment from the inside, but in reality he doesn't do a whole ton to directly support the poor he claims to want to help. he learns to be better after the main 4 + reqs talk to him though!!!!!!! and they ultimately bring out good change for his town in the end

the reason he's in the shadow plane in the doodles is because he is VERY hesitant to show his real appearance to anyone, lest he gets sold out and arrested. hell, most of the time he keeps his hair in a net instead of in braids, because he's afraid they'd make his shadow too distinctive. there are other shadowwalkers where he lives, but people assume different appearances in the shadow plane compared to the default plane (the plane everyone else is on), so it doesn't help people identify him or anything. he DOES have a default appearance though... i'll hafta draw it sometime :-)

AND THEN ARCHIE OOOOOOUSHDJDWVJD MY GUY MY SILLY LIL THANG ....... i love him so dearly he's like a beetle to me. he's an electro eleter and what that means is. okay. eleters are a form of magic that let people manipulate/produce fire, electricity, and water from their fingertips, but unlike polyplanism and wildinism, the kind you are isn't determined at birth. you're born being able to manipulate all three, but through study you can refine your skills with either one or two of those elements (you can technically try to learn all 3, but this is very difficult and you likely won't be exceptional at any of them). so in archie's case he's been training his skills in utilizing electricity :3

he's. REALLY good at what he does. like scarily good. his town relies on him for a lot of maintenance things (his town used to be full of electro eleters who made a living off of providing electricity, but after new alternative fuel sources were popularized, using eleters for electricity fell out of fashion. the town quickly dove into poverty, and most people chose to not pass on the tradition of electro eletism to their kids. this happened quite a bit in other places too, with pyro and hydro eleters experiencing similar problems, so this town is just one example of that) and, more importantly, to save them. they believe that his exceptional abilities will cause a revolution in electro energy, which will allow them to get easy and stable jobs once more. he's consistently pressured to get better and better, pushing the limits of his powers like no one has before. and he doesn't even realize how fucked it is that he's carrying the entire weight of his town on his back until the main 5 come in. did i mention archie is 13 btw. he doesn't even realize how high his standards for himself are cuz he thinks that this is just normal. that everyone else is doing just fine so this must just be a him issue. that he just has to try harder. yk.

so ya thats basically them ^_^ teehee

[meili-sheep]

ONE MORE!!! ONE MORE WORK AND IM FINISHED!!!!1

Also yes i agree with the Jean slander but there must've been a source of why she's like,,,, That.

you know, Jean "I take up all the paperwork the knights have and then complain about being overworked even though i put it on myself" Gunnhildr.

Fredrica Gunnhildr.

it makes sense right??? because it seems the Gunnhildrs are the opposite of a patriarchy aka a matriarchy and so that phrase "All for Mond" or something has definitely been drilled into Jean's head since she was young because shes the eldest, i also think Barbara is an unexpected child because due to their likely age gap- around 20 and maybe 14-16, which is 6-4 years, probable time for unexpected births, my little sister is only 4-5 years younger and she was unplanned so yes very likely Barbara was unexpected.

And i really dont think Fredrica was a good mom... just look at Jean! She overworks herself constantly and is probably ready to throw her own life away for Mondstadt at any given moment and theres Barbara feeling inferior to Jean and doubts any ability of hers that doesnt make others happy

And Barbara may have been pushed aside by Fredrica because of her focus on Jean instead and so thats most likely why Barbara feels so much lesser than Jean. And I also think that to make really complex shapes with a catalyst is a high skilled thing, it wouldn't seem much on the surface but Barbara's attack particles Glimmer

To achieve that effect she must've had to practice how to make the water she produces from her vision to refract light in such a way that it changes color, sure it may just be a gameplay thing but at the same time its too deliberate and fits her job as an idol so yes im taking that to account.

sure she may be weak in lore but because of her inferiority complex where she most likely pushes down her skills in fighting and defense and such for healing because to her, her healing is more benificial that those other things.

I also have a Genshin oc! His name is Anatoli

to explain more, in my au's, Abyss Barbara and The Pegg twins aus. Anatoli is Barbara's younger twin brother made him to add to the Jean and Barbara's distanced relationship issue

sorry if this has almost all have been about Barbara

I do have a part about diluc tho

Barbara and Anatoli wouldve sought comfort in Diluc due to their situation(emotional neglect basically) and they see a big sibling figure in Diluc, not as a replacement for jean but for the comfort and love they werent really given because barbara and anatoli were both ignored much more

btw Anatoli is his chosen name, no he(sadly) isnt trans its more of a Fischl situation bc he was named Anne at birth even though he was a boy and he got the name Anatoli via suggestion of Barbara during a trip to Snezhnaya

i might explain more abt Anatoli next time

-Leyline!Anon whos very clearly a Barbara kinnie 9and also wants to castrate Albert)

Well let me say the netiher Fredrica Gunnhildr or Seamus Pegg was a good parnet. And well I think Jean does have her problems from that. She still has agency as a person and her dicisous to continue to support the knights after all they did to Diluc is totally on her.

And not making time to be with her sister is also on her. And jean not doing anything to help Barbara feel that there isn't a competition between them is also on her.

Well Barbara isn't my favorite characters (I might have been a little more warm had they kept her original voice) But I do really sympathize with her.

Oh your OC is very Cute though! And very interesting!

[enbylesbianism]

ANY WAY THE WIND BLOWS: Simon Snow trilogy wrapped! (review)

Hi, there! It took me a while to finish this post, as I could talk about it for... a long time (not necessarily a good thing), but I got it! I like praise, so if anyone wants to tell me I did a good job... Also, I might edit this post later on. I don’t remember anything else I’d like to add, but I wouldn’t be surprised if I did after posting. My brain does not obey me. Anyways, off to it! By the way, I won’t give this book a real rating.

While this is a review on Any Way the Wind Blows, I intend on analysing some points of the overall series too. The book starts where Wayward Son left off, the end of the road trip, Simon and Baz having problems in their relationship, Penelope helping Shepard with his curse... and the whole situation of the NowNext vampires. Rainbow Rowell only seems to remember the first part. That leaves us with the second book of the series ignored almost completely, with the exception of Simon and Baz’s feelings as well as Shepard’s existence.

Don’t get me wrong, aspects of the book are mentioned, but never in a truly important way. Lamb, the Vampire King, is mentioned by Simon, but only focusing on his and Baz’s relationship, never about the fact that there are a bunch of vampires (supposedly ‘evil’) in the U.S. but I guess what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, right? I could count on one hand the times the NowNext vampires were mentioned (like, literally, this isn’t an exaggeration, I looked up ‘NowNext’ on the e-book and only got five results), all of them either being one of them considering telling someone else about it, then not following through with it, or dismissing it as a concern for Lamb. Which makes the plot of Wayward Son completely useless for the trilogy. Now, that wouldn’t matter as much if everything else had been properly developed, but we definitely can’t say that.

We are introduced to a brand new, poorly developed villain, Smith-Smith Richards, whose character arc is as ridiculous as his name. He’s one of the fake Chosen Ones that started appearing after the events of Carry On (and the only one to be mentioned and/or defeated, for that matter). It becomes clear that presenting as Simon Snow-ish is part of his brand, especially when Baz describes him as looking like the Netflix adaptation version of Simon, and that he was raised and guided by his uncle, who’s just... there. I don’t think it would’ve been hard to make him manipulating Smith-Smith into believing he’s the prophetic savior of the Magickal World, which would not only make both of their characters more interesting, but it could also serve as a parallel of Simon’s relationship with the Mage. Richards also has some special powers such as increasing a mage’s magic for a limited amount of time, but taking it away afterwards, as well as making someone immune from spells. It’s worth saying those aren’t skills that are usual in the Magickal World, or else there wouldn’t be so much confusion and shock from people (specially Baz and Penny, who would definitely have heard of something like this before), but we get no explanation on why or how Richard has them.

Then, we have the Salisbury’s. We, as readers, already know Lucy and Davy are Simon’s parents, making Ruth his grandmother. It’s noticeable that Rowell builds up to that discovery, by making Simon get along with Ruth instantly, him thinking about Lucy a lot etc. It makes us excited to read the part where they actually figure it out, to know how Simon would deal with that, him dealing with the fact that he’s the Mage’s son and the fact that, technically, he killed his father. I suppose that’s the point, but actually getting to that part was incredibly underwhelming. The way they discovered about Simon—being able to lift a family sword—hadn’t been mentioned or hinted at before. One would’ve expected Simon, who’s particularly interested in swords as it’s mentioned many times throughout the series, to notice a freaking Excalibur at the Salisbury’s place before. 

And speaking of noticing things: when it’s finally revealed that Simon is Lucy’s son and the Mage’s heir, Baz pointed out the uncanny similarities between his boyfriend and the deceased Watford principal. “Those narrow eyes. That tilt of his head. I thought... I thought he’d learned it. Was imitating it.” + “Merlin, Simon, you even look like him.”  (Any Way the Wind Blows, chapter 86) Simon was the Mage’s protégé for years and I assume the Magickal authorities knew that he was the one to inherit all of his money and personal belongings, but no one, in the whole British Magickal community, thought about them being related? I refuse to believe there were no conspiracy theorist teachers at Watford or that Mitali or even the Pitch’s alongside everyone who was against the Mage didn’t at least check to know if there was something behind those characteristics. Baz literally said (chapter 88), “I think it’s undeniable. I’d cast ‘Flesh and blood’ on them, but it would bounce right off of Snow (...)”, so there is a spell for that. Plus, we didn’t even have one whole chapter of Simon dealing with this information! The chapters (no more than five, out of ninety-one) were divided between Simon, Baz and Lady Ruth’s POVs. He’s the main character, so one would think he’d get more development.

Another point that felt rushed was the romance. While Simon and Baz’s relationship wasn’t, as it’s been a topic Rowell has explored for three books (we’re not counting Fangirl here, as their ‘participation’ on it was minor and their personalities weren’t as consistent as in the trilogy. Not that it is that consistent there), the others just felt like she wanted everyone to finish the trilogy with a pair. I’ll start with Shepard and Penny. There were fans who liked them together before Any Way the Wind Blows, but it wasn’t hinted at—it was more like a fandom thing. I personally like them as a couple, but it could have had development and, maybe, foreshadowing in Wayward Son. I mean, they did fight monsters during a huge part of a road trip together.

The next one I’ll talk about is Agatha and Niamh. I love them, don’t get me wrong. Actually, it’s precisely because I love them that I wish they’d gotten a better treatment. Niamh wasn’t introduced before Any Way the Wind Blows. I get why she wasn’t introduced in Carry On—it was interesting to see a character who wasn’t caught up in Simon and Baz’s drama during the school years—but a hint of her existence could’ve been left in Wayward Son. Agatha is an important character on it, and a mention of her father training an aspiring veterinary could’ve fit somewhere, as a hint, maybe. (Also, Lucy, the dog, being absolutely forgotten during this book when a lot of Agatha’s time is spent in a veterinary clinic...) Besides, we could get the vibes from them, but after they kissed, there was barely any content. We didn’t get them calling each other ‘girlfriend’ (or if they even like that label at this point), or the aftermath of the kiss, or a POV from Niamh. Or Niamh appearing the epilogue? If Agatha was taking care of the goats, I’m sure Niamh would have a part in that too. Still on Agatha’s character, but not on Niamh’s, it felt like Rainbow Rowell was setting up for aromantic and asexual Agatha, specially because of this quote: “It was like she'd pulled the feeling right out of my heart. I could have kissed her. (I still wish sometimes that I wanted to.) (That would feel like an answer to... the question of me. Then I could say, 'Oh, thats who I am. That's why I've been so confused.')” (Wayward Son, chapter 4).

And I was leaving the best (I need to be sure everyone knows I mean this sarcastically) of the romance topic for the end: Fiona and Nicodemus. It’s just... so forced and undeveloped. Not even because, to me, they’re both gay as hell. There was just... such a lack of development! I don’t think we had any interaction between the both of them before Any Way the Wind Blows. There was no foreshadowing or why would Fiona, a vampire hunter from a family of vampire hunters, would marry... a vampire! I’d already find it weird to see fanfiction of them as a crackship, but it’s canon?! Like, canon as in they’re going to get married and use Fiona and Natasha’s mother’s ring? Seriously, nothing will take from me that this is a lavender marriage (as I’ve already discussed with my best friend, which inspired this post of theirs.)

I’d also like to speak about a topic that’d been hinted throughout the series, especially post-Carry On, which is the criticism towards the Magickal Community in the U.K.. That criticism is very much embodied in Shepard’s character. It’s explicitly said that the British mages have some kind of supremacy towards other supernatural beings, such as vampires for example, gatekeeping literal magic. Up until relatively recently, mages with weak links with magic couldn’t attend Watford (and that’s a major plot point in the final book) and there’s a denial towards any other kind of magic except the ones that are part of their craft. Even within the Magickal community itself, there are more important families that are more likely to succeed, like Natasha receiving criticism for marrying Malcolm, as a Pitch. It felt pointless not to tackle the issues you’ve set up yourself in your own universe. Penelope has very strict morals related to magickal law and beliefs, something that she could’ve deconstructed, especially considering Shepard, her love interest, symbolises that. Another point related to that is, the trilogy is very clearly heavily inspired by Harry Potter, where many of those points are very clear (e.g. wizard supremacy in relation to other species, such as werewolves and domestic elves and the status quo that makes some traditionally magical families more influential than others, like the Malfoy’s vs. the Weasley’s), so it’s not an easily forgettable concept.

The series also had a lot of inconsistencies. The one I’ve seen talked about more often is Simon and Agatha’s... intimacy status, let’s call it that. Simon’s whole thing in the first book was that he struggled controlling his magic when experiencing intense emotions, which makes it hard to believe that he managed to have sex withount an... accident. Besides that, though, there’s this quote, “She (...) presses a kiss into my temple. No one has ever kissed me there. No one has ever kissed me anywhere but on my mouth” (Carry On, Chapter 27), but in Any Way the Wind Blows, when Simon’s about to have his wings cut, Agatha says, “It’s a strange feeling to look at someone’s chest and know it’s nothing to do with you anymore, but still to remember kissing every inch.” (Chapter 14)

So, we have established that Rainbow Rowell’s work, both character and plot driven, is flawed. “But we got the characters interacting for the closure of the series, at least!” Well... we got interactions between the canon romantic relationships, yeah. But besides that, we didn’t get much. There were no interactions between Agatha and Penny, or Shepard with Simon and Baz. Or Penny and her mother figuring stuff out. Or literally anyone with a therapist. And not gonna lie, the interaction we got between Baz and Dev was underwhelming, to say the least. Niall is nowhere to be seen, too.

Rainbow Rowell’s writing is beautiful: she writes poetic lines that make the book seem perfect at first glance, if you don’t think about it for too long. Her words are very shiny, but once you get use to that light and see what’s behind them, what’s between one shiny quote and another, it has so many flaws and plot holes that it reads like a first draft. There are many concepts in there that are genuinely good: the rest of the trilogy focused on the protagonist dealing with the trauma of being a child soldier instead of being entirely an adventure, Simon being unlabelled, a fake Chosen One that gives mages fake hope... Those are all good ideas, but so poorly explored that, despite being an entire book/trilogy, it still feels like a writing pitch or something among those lines.

I felt iffy about other things during my reading of the series, but they aren’t exactly plot points, so I’ll just list them below:

Mitali, Penny’s mom, including ‘discovering your bisexuality’ as a mid-life crisis thing 

As I’ve seen people talking about biphobia/bi erasure in the books, I’ll be including this post that features both unlabelled and bisexual individuals talking about the topic (it isn’t my place, as a lesbian, to talk about this, that’s why I decided not to do so.)

Romanticising of Baz’s suicide (a.k.a. chapter 61) in the first book. If you’re not in a good place mentally, like I was when I first read Carry On, I hope you know that a kiss or romance doesn’t help any mental illness you or others might have. Don’t let anyone use your guilt to manipulate you. Paraphrasing Alice Oseman in their graphic novel Heartstopper, love can’t cure a mental illness.

Any Way the Wind Blows was... very horny. I can’t point out how this makes the book bad exactly, but it wasn’t something I enjoyed. One of Rainbow Rowell’s strongest skills is that her quotes, when loose, are good. They tend to be poetic and just beautiful, overall. But in the... explicit scenes, these skills were barely used, and I felt like I was reading NSFW tweets off of someone’s private account on Twitter. Besides, the first two books of the series weren’t written like that, so the change was very sudden.

The older people could’ve been more explored. Penelope and Mitali’s relationship and how similar the both of them are compared to each other, Daphne and Professor Bunce’s insecurities and why they believed in Smith-Smith, Fiona, Nico, and Ebb... Also, the Mage and Lucy. We could’ve had more on them, y’know. 

The pop culture references. They made the book read even more like Twitter’s feed. Honestly, if I wanted to read prompts and nice ship content alongside memes from Twitter with some horny thoughts sprinkled all around, I would’ve opened the Twitter app. Or Tumblr, Instagram, whatever.

The POV switching felt lazy to me at times. It’s nice to know how different characters are experiencing that situation, yes, but sometimes, like during the discovery that Simon is a Salisbury, it read as if Rowell wanted to create tension, but couldn’t think of any other way to do it except the switching around.

Narrative wise, I think Simon and Baz should’ve spent more time broken up. 

[betawooper]

rating every demon fight in kny bc i can

non-biased, completely objective rating (more or less) of every significant demon fight in kny based on a number of factors, including:

cleverness of fighting tactics

placement in the story’s timeline

integration of character backstories

cohesive themes between characters

etc

by non-biased and objective i mean i’m not skewing the rating if a death felt fair or whatever

everything past where the anime ended will be under a read more so anime onlys who havent watched mugen train, youre safe lol

oh and i reread the manga like 20+ times (reread the latter arcs at least 40 times, haha hyperfixations am i right?) so be rest assured im not pulling these ratings out of my ass

also ill randomly be bolding certain phrases just to improve readability

anyways let’s gooooo

VS NEZUKO

[Image Description: Manga panel of Kamado Tanjirou and Nezuko. Tanjirou is fending her off by putting the axe handle in her mouth, keeping her from eating him. End Image Description.]

10/10

i like how realistic it is, because yeah tanjirou would react the way to he did with zero fighting skills against a demon

very clear why tanjirou is fighting nezuko and shows a bit of worldbuilding on how normal people react to their family becoming demons

always nice to see worldbuilding

giyuu is the perfect example of a seasoned demon slayer who’s good at his job, and he juxtaposes tanjirou very well in that aspect

my only complaint is not directly in this fight itself but how nezuko is handled throughout the story as a whole

like bro, it is literally never explained why nezuko is different from demons

could have been easily explained if maybe her family’s ghosts like slapped her hand every time she wanted to eat a person but nope

she’s just built different lol

so yeah youll see future ratings get points docked off bc nezuko unlocks some secret power with no prior explanation other than she angy >:3

VS TEMPLE DEMON

[Image Description: Manga panel of a demon. The demon has a sharp-nailed hand over his neck and there are four text bubbles around him saying “But a wound like this... will heal in no time! See? The bleeding already stopped!” End Image Description.]

10/10

may be more forgettable compared to like rui but still good

tanjirou did exceptionally well in this fight and his ability to think on his feet is once again beautifully illustrated here (trapping this dude’s head against the tree trunk with the axe)

very clever

again, establishes more demon worldbuilding regarding regeneration and still being able to move without their head

and the demons burning in the sunlight thing since nezuko wasn’t able to show that

the ending where tanjirou hesitates to kill the demon also serves to show his sympathetic nature towards demons that will last throughout the entirety of the first 60-ish chapters

:)

we’ll talk about what the hell happens to tanjirou after that

or not, it could honestly be its own post

VS HAND DEMON

[Image Description: Manga panel of a many-handed demon. He has six hands around him, three of them covering his mouth while he chuckles, two of them grabbing his cheeks, and one holding on to the top of his head. There are two text bubbles saying “That’s how many of Urokodaki’s students I have eaten! I’ve decided to kill all of his students!” End Image Description.]

10/10

ooooh probably the first big fight against a demon in the series

oh yeah not doing the two random demons tanjirou one shot in a single blow bc eh

anyways hand demon’s pretty goddamn scary, considering the fact that this is the 5th demon or whatever tanjirou has had to face so far

very nice way to show us how much tanjirou’s innate intuition and all his other random abilities (sense of smell, hard forehead) can come together and help him decapitate this guy

i liked the mini history with urokodaki this dude had and why he had beef with our favorite mentor figure, it establishes that urokodaki was in fact a super good demon slayer and its cool to see that actually shown

i also liked that small moment of compassion tanjirou gave this demon, staying consistent with tanjirou’s established kindness

the demon’s sad tale with killing his own brother very much humanizes him when all the reader has seen up to this point is that this guy is a monster who eats people

sets up the theme of demons just being humans but being victims of circumstance that unfortunately doesn’t hold up as well in arcs past mugen train

VS SWAMP DEMON

[Image Description: Manga panel of Kamado Tanjirou fighting off three horned demons as they appear from below. There is a spiky text bubble saying “Three of them!!!” End Image Description.]

10/10

not my most favorite fight but it still portrays everything alright and im not allowed to let my personal opinions mess with the rating so

i like how tanjirou mentioned the fact that he trained in conditions similar to the bog and explains how he pulled off the whirlpool form

using past experiences to aid him in the present, nice nice

tanjirou and nezuko dont quite work together very well but its yknow the first mission so ill chalk it up to simple inexperience

also the way the muzan curse thingie was hinted at here? fantastic way of showing that little bit of demon worldbuilding

...

oh god, it mentions nezuko being stronger than normal demons

ok its not a problem here per say since i can still suspend my disbelief, but later on it just becomes a glaring problem that gets worse over time

VS SUSAMARU AND YAHABA

[Image Description: Manga panels of Susamaru and Yahaba. The first one is a joyful Susamaru about to throw a temari ball. There is floating text saying “Is she one of Kibutsuji’s minions?!” The second image is an annoyed Yahaba, holding one of his eye-hands to cover himself. There are two text bubbles around him saying “My kimono got all dusty. Tch!” End Image Description.]

9/10

why dont these bitches have a good looking panel together dammit

anyways amazing entrance, the way yahaba used his hand eyes to track down tanjirou is really neat

the synergy yahaba and susamaru have is incredible, its awesome dude, they work extremely well together and it shows

tanjirou actually mixing his water breathing forms together is a god tier move and i absolutely love how he can show off his ability to think on his feet once again

establishing how yushiro’s bda works early on is really well done

establishing tamayo as a fugitive this early on is also super well done

not to get into spoiler territory but both these things pay off

how tamayo ended up defeating susamaru is literally awesome in so many ways

shows off both how smart she is by exploiting the muzan curse

and speaking of the muzan curse, we actually get to see what happens to demons who even say his name, back when it was hinted with the swamp demon

tamayo is amazing dude, and we get some real evidence of the horrible suffering demons go through if they even accidentally attempt to betray muzan :D

...

now heres what keeps this fight from being perfect

nezuko somehow grew stronger against susamaru’s temari

with no explanation

which could have been easily explained if tamayo was like “oh yeah the drug also boosts a demon’s strength temporarily”

but nope

god, i just dont like how gotouge handles nezuko’s power boosts throughout the series bc like i said before

no explanation is given anywhere

this is a huge issue, this isnt a pokemon game, you cant just kill demons and get exp at the end of every battle, level up, get some sweet stat bonuses and move on

(actually if gotouge established that this is how nezuko grew in power, than all my complaints about this would be gone, im not even joking)

anyways i get that nezuko is supposed to be “special” but thats too vague of a descriptor

how the hell is she special? ya gotta be more specific and stick with that explanation or that suspension of disbelief is going to disappear

VS TONGUE DEMON

[Image Description: Manga panel of a four-eyed demon with horns and a long tongue. He is crawling in an awkward position, one foot in front of his tilted head. There are two text bubbles around him saying “Heh, heh! I’ll slurpy slurp your brains out through you ear!” End Image Description.]

10/10

not much to say, showcases zenitsu’s true abilities really well

nicely done

VS HORNED DEMON

[Image Description: Manga panel of a big, single-horned demon. There are three text bubbles saying “You dodged! You’re awfully lively for a human! It’ll be a treat to carve away your flesh!” End Image Description.]

10/10

would have ignored this fight if not for the fact we havent seen inosuke fight before

it definitely shows how very fast-paced and wild inosuke is

no complaints here lol

VS KYOGAI

[Image Description: Manga panel of Kyogai, a demon with tsuzumi drums attached to his shoulders. There are four text bubbles around him saying “Why?! Why does everyone keep sneaking through my house? It’s so aggravating. It’s my prey! It’s my prey! Found in my territory!” End Image Description.]

10/10

establishes marechi blood pretty early on, once again expanding the worldbuilding of kny which is always cool

interesting terrain where it’s always shifting, tanjirou once again proves his ability to adapt really quickly by altering one of his forms to work with the turning room

(man, i wish the form mixing/form modification thing carried on throughout the rest of the story, but it really didnt which is just a shame)

the injuries tanjirou had prior to this mission actually affecting him was a nice touch

oh yeah, kyogai gives us more worldbuilding (which is always nice) regarding the 12 kizuki, and the aspect of him being cast out due to being weak shows a lot about muzan’s indifference towards his own demons if they arent strong

his backstory being a failed writer once again humanizes kyogai as a former human being and not just a monster

tanjirou shows his sympathy and compassion again by not stepping on his written work and complimenting his bda

well, tbh tanjirou’s actions kinda came out of nowhere but its a very minor thing and not enough to dock a point off, like it didnt affect the outcome of the fight that much if at all

(so if you see future battles where points are docked off for things not logically making sense, its bc whatever nonsensical concepts were integrated into the fight actually turned the tide of the battle and thats a big no-no)

very good fight and if you remember how kinda bad tanjirou was at accurately slicing the swamp demon, you can see that he’s already improved leaps and bounds

im so proud of him

VS MOTHER SPIDER DEMON

[Image Description: Manga panel of Kamado Tanjirou and the Mother Spider Demon. There is a light shining down from the top right on to the demon as Tanjirou slices her head off, rain following in his wake. There is floating text saying “Water Breathing: Fifth Form - Blessed Rain After the Drought!” around them. End Image Description.]

10/10

i mean does anyone disagree?

all the demon slayers getting their necks snapped by her threads was pretty horrific, probably more horrifying than anything else we have seen in the entire series if im gonna be honest

the death scene is probably the most beautiful one in the series

it reveals a water breathing form that we havent seen before thats the 5th form

as far as i know, no other breathing style has this merciful sword stroke so it shows a lot about the original water breather and what they might have been like

but enough about them, really the focus is on tanjirou bc this is like the best example by far of how kind and sympathetic he is to demons

dunno what else to say, its perfect

VS SON SPIDER DEMON

[Image Description: Manga panel of Agatsuma Zenitsu performing Thunder Breathing 1st Form: Sixfold on a spider-like demon. Zenitsu is crashing through the roof of a shed, and a zig-zag path is left behind. There are sound effects all over the panel, saying “Bam!” in large font. End Image Description.]

10/10

chose a picture without a huge spider on it bc i would like to not scare myself half to death

anyways extremely amazing fight, showcases zenitsu’s immense talent and skill, adapting the 1st form of thunder breathing to be a more versatile move

theres a moment where his backstory with kuwajima and kaigaku were revealed and his hidden insecurities are out in the open which is super nice and further develops a character weve only considered as comedic relief until now

the anime made the backstory scenes and the killing scene so much cooler

while there is no thematic connection between zenitsu and the demon, it really isnt necessary to keep this fight interesting

anyways another pretty much perfect fight

VS FATHER SPIDER DEMON

[Image Description: Manga panel of Kamado Tanjirou and Inosuke slashing at the Father Spider Demon. The demon has blocked Tanjirou’s sword with his arm, and Inosuke is slamming both his blades down on the demon’s other hand. End Image Description.]

10/10

again, not my most favorite fight but it does everything right

i do have to say it was excellent how gotouge hyped up the father spider demon to be the big bad, only just so the plot twist later takes the readers by surprise

nicely done

VS DAUGHTER SPIDER DEMON

[Image Description: Manga panel of Kochou Shinobu and the Daughter Spider Demon. Shinobu’s back is seen and her haori looks like a butterfly’s wings keeping her afloat as she holds her stinger blade out to the side. The demon looks surprised as blood gushes from her side, arm, shoulder, chest, neck, and forehead. There is floating text on the panel, saying “Insect Breathing - Butterfly Dance - Caprice!” End Image Description.]

10/10

first time weve seen shinobu and her fighting style

what i love most about this is how much it shows her true character, appearing as a carefree and naive individual so she seems underwhelming

then bam, reveals exactly how dangerous and uncaring she is of demons, listing out the specific ways she would torture the daughter spider demon in grotesque detail

her using poison to take demons by surprise is also super clever and brings back the worldbuilding established way earlier about wisteria being poisonous to demons

amazing integration of that concept

anyways this fight really encapsulates who shinobu is as a character and thats why it gets a perfect score

VS RUI

[Image Description: Manga panel of Rui holding his hand out directly towards the viewer. There are two text bubbles around him, saying “Give me your sister. If you hand her over quietly, I’ll spare your life.” End Image Description.]

8/10

not only is it a super scary fight but there is a deeper conflict between rui and tanjirou, what it means to be family

they are opposites in the sense that while tanjirou believes love is what makes a family, rui’s subconscious desperation for an unbreakable bond drives him to use fear to keep his “family” together

excellent juxtaposition of their values, and this is only further emphasized when rui expresses out loud what he was going to do to nezuko

i also like the symbolism regarding rui’s bda, how he uses threads or the “familial” bonds to cut up his fake family with it if they act out of turn or annoy him

super neat detail

alright what i dont like about this fight is nezuko (again)

mostly her unlocking her bda to turn the tide of the battle bc her mom was like “yo, wake up, your brother is going to be killed”

feels... forced ig

her bda in general is confusing and not consistent

man, i wish i could make a stronger argument for this but i do believe the problem stems from the fact that we dont ever know what nezuko is thinking, and what she thinks of tanjirou specifically

if she even cares for him as a sibling or if shes only going along with what her family is saying to her, things like that which would have been fixed if gotouge actually gave her thoughts some screen time

so the action feels pretty shallow

im also conflicted over tanjirou somehow remembering how dance of the fire god works

on one hand, hes using past information and applying it in the current setting so he doesnt die, which is understandable

but on the other hand, this was a teeny bit random?

i think what could have fixed this is if there was a scene in the beginning of the series where tanjirou was performing it himself, like practicing before he actually had to do it for new years

so that when the rui fight rolls around, it would have felt less like throwing dry spaghetti at a wall

but yeah

overall super good fight, giyuu ending up having to kill rui instead of tanjirou was super good in that tanjirou didnt become a pillar this early in the series and to show how strong giyuu is

there are some odd bits regarding the ultimate “beheading” of rui using nezuko and tanjirous supposed bonds but it doesnt kill the fight entirely so it deserves its pretty high score

***under read more is manga-only fights so beware***

VS ENMU

[Image Description: Manga panel of Enmu holding his hand out directly at the viewer, with a mouth on the back of it. There is floating text to the top right of Enmu that says “Whispers of Forced Unconscious Hypnosis!” End Image Description.]

9/10

id say this fight is definitely overshadowed by the dream stuff prior to this but its pretty good in its own right

enmu fusing with the train was kinda confusing, like when was it established that demons could fuse with objects?

this worldbuilding element doesnt even appear again so yeah thats why it loses a point

how the kmbk gang end up defeating enmu is pretty sweet though, tanjirou using dance of the fire god to sever the neck bone was really nice and shows that him using the breathing style in the rui fight wasnt a one time thing

while kyojuro’s role was smaller in this part, the next part makes up for it so i cant complain

anyways ye, almost perfect score but its pretty good

VS AKAZA (MUGEN TRAIN)

[Image Description: Manga panel of Akaza holding his hand out to the viewer’s left. There is a text bubble saying “Why don’t you become a demon?” End Image Description.]

10/10

this encounter is literally amazing okay?

after the crew kills the big bad, it seems like everything is fine

but plot twist, upper moon 3 appears out of nowhere

this is the first time the reader has seen an upper moon, let alone the 3rd/4th strongest demon in existence and the way gotouge handled this twist is fucking amazing

kyojuro’s death scene really shows just how human even the strongest pillars are against demons with incredible power

its just

amazing

VS OBI DEMON

[Image Description: Manga panels of the obi-like demon. The first image shows the obi hung in the air and strung over each other like decorations, with women-shaped patterns in its folds. The second image is Hashibira Inosuke fighting the Obi demon which now has lips and eyes. There is floating text in that panel saying “Breath of the Beast: Sixth Fang - Jagged Gnaw!!” End Image Description.]

10/10

on to red light district

this fight is admittedly super forgettable and not very interesting at least compared to the main fight with daki and gyutaro

but it wraps up the sub plot of the women and uzui’s wives going missing so it gets a perfect score for not messing that up

oh and it establishes the stretchy neck thing daki has going on which is very good

VS DAKI AND GYUTARO

[Image Description: Manga panel of Daki and Gyutaro. Daki is sitting on Gyutaro’s shoulders. There is a text bubble on the top right that says “The two of us are one, after all.” as well as floating text that reads “The power of the irregular siblings...!? Next issue lead color and the fight reaches its climax!!” End Image Description.]

8/10

love how this battle challenges tanjirou’s sympathy and kindness towards demons, just simply bc daki and gyutaro are horrible people

(too bad nothing came of this, which ill explain in the hantengu portion)

daki and gyutaro are very good villains and kept this fight super interesting from start to finish

uzui acting as a foil to gyutaro is nicely integrated and properly shown with how jealous gyutaro gets over seeing uzui’s perfect form and stature

tanjirou not only mixes forms but mixes breathing styles as well, which is so fucking awesome

(too bad it was only used like once throughout the entire series, its quite unfortunate)

the super high tension right after inosuke gets stabbed and tanjirou wakes up was expertly portrayed and handled, it felt like the kmbk gang and uzui were actually going to lose

super awesome

the tanjirou and gyutaro parallels are expertly portrayed, with how gyutaro taunts tanjirou over failing to protect his little sister, and the more visual thing where tanjirou imagined his own neck underneath his blade, that was super duper nice

the ending is extremely tense and emotionally gripping, gotouge did a really good job with that artistically too

the demon mark acquisition scene was surprisingly not frustrating, considering that it wasnt really explained prior to the battle

i do think it has to do with how it was explained later just exactly how they worked so its not just some random thing gotouge pulled out of their ass

so pretty good

/

what i dont like is nezuko and her full power demon form

first of all where the fuck did that come from? she just got angry and suddenly shes as powerful as an upper moon

like

how?

that doesnt make sense???

her extremely quick regeneration makes no sense

her ability to manipulate her blood’s properties makes no sense

and it doesnt even appear again so what was the point of that existing

none of this is even explained later which annoys me

that one part where tanjirou sings a lullaby to her to calm her down was alright ig but nezuko in this fight makes me extremely irritated and frustrated

just ugh

VS HANTENGU

[Image Description: Manga panel of Hantengu opening a shoji door. He is crawling inside, his hand in a gnarled, unnatural position. There is a text bubble saying “Eeeeeeek.” End Image Description.]

1/10

swordsmith village

this fight can go fuck itself /j

no but seriously it has so many problems that it would be shorter to name its redeeming qualities (which ill do later)

first off, the nezuko full power form thing again

i hate it so much with a passion

again, where did her ability to regenerate instantly even come from???? this is never explained, ever

and why did she cut herself on tanjirou’s sword anyway

did she somehow know that it was going to turn red if she burned it?

gotouge what the fuck, there is literally no reason why nezuko would do that and we cant even read her mind to see her thought process

gotouge hates nezuko, i swear

/

remember when i said uzui is meant to be a foil to gyutaro in the rld fight? its pretty obvious that those two are opposites, it was nicely done

... what the hell does mitsuri’s insecurities about strength have to do with whatever the fuck hantengu has going on (which is basically nothing)?

so no meaningful connection between mitsuri and hantengu

theres no meaningful connection between tanjirou and hantengu other than tanjirou getting pissed off for like the second time

also tanjirou’s thing with being kind and sympathetic to demons was entirely dropped at this point

but instead of it leading up to a corruption arc of some sorts, it just doesnt

like honestly if something actually came of that anger he exhibited in this arc and from red light district from this point forward story-wise, i would have counted this as an amazing writing decision

but it literally doesnt so who cares

(god, i really start to hate what happened to his character after this )

and genya’s revealed motivation also doesnt fit at all with hantengu’s thing, he’s not a foil, not a parallel, nothing, there is nothing

/

tanjirou being the catharsis for development for mitsuri and muichirou, who he has only talked to like twice

theres definitely a better way to handle those two’s developments without his help

like gotouge, you have a big cast of characters, use them lol

/

i want to kick hantengu in the face for being boring as fuck (at least his clones have cool looking weapons)

doesnt even have a proper backstory, just a single spread of him being blamed for shit as a human

like... thats it? this is upper moon 4 what the hell

/

theres no clever form mixing here at all (regarding tanjirou) which probably would have helped with foreshadowing the 13th form for dance of the fire god/sun breathing better

also gotouge established that as tanjirou’s thing and now he doesnt do that stuff anymore which sucks

/

oh hey remember when tanjirou actually learned how to do zenitsu’s speed boost thing?

if you didnt, i dont blame you bc it literally doesnt appear again, ever

you could argue that he adapted it into his “waltz flash” technique or whatever the fuck that is but the way it was integrated into this fight was like throwing dry spaghetti at a wall

which is just a shame bc its meant to be representative of how tanjirou and zenitsu are good pals but the way it was utilized is forgettable as hell

/

i absolutely loathe the crimson blade concept as a whole and im mentioning this now bc its going to come into play why future instances where this goddamn thing comes up again causes points to be lost

its inconsistent as fuck ill tell you that

/

at least some yoriichi stuff appeared here and not shoved into the final battle with everything else

so the yoriichi stuff later didnt come out of absolute nowhere

genya and mitsuri’s unique fighting styles expand the kny worldbuilding just a little more which is always nice

tanjirou got a cool sword out of this which would have been cooler if him and yoriichi had a deeper connection that was actually explored

but we didnt get shit so whatever

other people getting demon marks being revealed here is also okay so that again, the final battle isnt filled with absolutely everyone getting their marks at once

demon marks have their own slew of problems but its not as bad as the fucking crimson sword shit

god i hate the crimson sword shit

...

dude this section needs a tldr, even i cant sit and read through my shit

TL;DR - this fight sucks and crimson swords are bullshit (more on this later)

VS GYOKKO

[Image Description: Manga panel of Tokitou Muichirou and Gyokko. Muichirou is looking to the left while Gyokko is looking to the right, both with their backs to each other. There are mist clouds billowing in the foreground and background, as well as a slash mark going across Gyokko’s neck. End Image Description.]

7/10

this fight suffers from the same lack of cohesive themes through characters like the hantengu battle bc the antagonist is given nothing

but its better

we havent actually seen mui fight before so theres no consistencies that the reader has to keep track of for now

and there arent like 10 characters in the fight so this fight gets a lot of points just for being a lot more coherent

i do like that this fight shows just how good mui is that he can defeat an upper moon by himself

mui’s backstory is neat

gyokko’s bda is very interesting too

... thats pretty much it lol

ye, anyways not the best fight but not the worst fight either

VS KAIGAKU

[Image Description: Manga panel of Kaigaku holding the hilt of his blade with one hand. There is two text bubbles around him, saying “...As usual, you’re still shabby. It’s been a while, Zenitsu.” End Image Description.]

9/10

alright on to final battle arc

theres some good fights and then some really sucky ones, but this one was pretty incredible and very emotionally charged

theres a clear reason why zenitsu and kaigaku are battling each other (kai betrayed the corps and inadvertantly caused the only parental figure in zenitsu’s life to die, and zenitsu is rightfully pissed off about that)

the visual yin-yang symbolism is awesome too

zenitsu winning due to using the 7th form he created himself (which i have reason to believe was inspired by tanjirou) was the perfect ending to the fight, really couldnt ask for anything better and is a perfect example of how much of an effect tanjirou has had on zenitsu

the 7th form is what tanjirou’s waltz flash should have been lol

/

what keeps this fight from being absolutely perfect is lack of development prior to this conflict

(since the final battle arc is basically a culmination of all the hinted developments through the series, im going to actually factor in how much and how well these conflicts were foreshadowed)

anyways if we had actually seen zenitsu, kaigaku, and kuwajima actually interacting with each other and showing how they were essentially a family (not just through flashbacks), it would have made zenitsu placing the responsibility of killing kai onto himself a lot more tragic

but like, apart from brief flashbacks where zenitsu actually met kaigaku off screen and that one thing all the way back in natagumo where both kuwajima and kai were introduced, thats pretty much it in terms of thunder family development

so yeah its underdeveloped for sure

also one random thought, i personally think zenitsu should have gotten his demon mark in this fight, it would have been cool to see

VS AKAZA (INFINITY FORTRESS)

[Image Description: Manga panel of Akaza’s face. There are two text bubbles around him, saying “Okay, let’s get started. It’s time for the feast.” There is also floating text saying “The inspection of the strong has begun...” as well as a simple box on the lower left, denoting its the end of chapter 147. End Image Description.]

6/10

oh god please dont hate me for this

ill list the good things first how about that

this conflict was foreshadowed perfectly in mugen train, you bet the readers were expecting a tanjirou vs akaza battle after the death of kyojuro and gotouge delivered

akaza’s power is shown extremely well with how many close calls tanjirou and giyuu had while fighting him

akaza eventually giving up on his own volition was really nice and fit into the context of the battle very very well, like sure tanjirou and giyuu wouldnt understand why he gave up but us readers do know

akaza is a really good character and a good villain

/

now notice how im only mentioning akaza and not giyuu or tanjirou in the good aspects

bc those two are eh

no form mixing at all from either tanjirou and giyuu

i know i said form mixing was kind of tanjirou’s thing but you’d think giyuu would have gotten more creative with his moves once akaza said that he was getting predictable

(well he said he “ran out of water breathing forms” but same thing)

so its kinda bland lol

speaking of giyuu, his whole thing with his insecurities of being weak wasnt handled well (it was sort of immediately brushed off in pillar training, and its unclear what part of his character arc he was in)

like sure him announcing that he’s going to protect tanjirou is cool but it feels like he was haphazardly dropped into the tanjirou and akaza conflict

isnt he supposed to be both their foils? that wasnt really explored that well in this fight and theres no deep meaning behind him even being here just analyzing what he did in it

he could have been handled better or even given more focus is what im saying

the anatta state came out of nowhere, im sorry okay? just bc inosuke like barely hinted at not being able to sense grandma hisa bc she had no fighting spirit and tanjurou magically taught his son how to achieve this state doesnt mean it was properly integrated into the fight

if the anatta state was actually explored prior to this battle, i would have given it a pass but it just feels like a cheap and poorly developed trick to get around akaza’s technique development (which is overpowered as fuck might i add)

gotouge should have just given akaza a plausible weakness to his technique development instead, especially since they dont use or even mention the anatta state after this

the transparent world shit makes no sense but ill elaborate on that in the koku battle analysis

oh and this thing doesnt affect the score but why wasnt there a “yoriichi visage overlapping” moment when tanjirou was fighting akaza? hes an upper moon, he should have gotten those visions but he didnt

for some reason

anyways this battle was alright and has good set up but the middle and end parts didnt hold up as well bc random concepts were thrown at us without prior explanation or development

VS DOUMA

[Image Description: Manga panel of Douma licking Shinobu’s butterfly pin. There are two text bubbles around him saying “Anyway, tonight is a good night. Such fine feasts keep showing up one after another.” End Image Description.]

9/10

damn, such an amazing fight

the build up to this was properly foreshadowed

shinobu finally showing her true anger after hiding it for so long is amazing

douma is a super interesting character and fantastic villain

shinobu showing off her true power and determination against douma was sooooo nice

shinobu’s poisonous body plan is so clever and so interesting

if i was to rate the shinobu part of the fight alone, it would have gotten a 10/10 no question

the reason why its knocked down a point is because of the kanao and inosuke part

dont get me wrong, the way kanao is able to hold her own against douma by herself is pretty cool, how shes meant to parallel douma with their similar struggles surrounding human emotions and demonstrate how she has grown as a person, how she regains the ability to cry

that shit is cool, inosuke also getting in touch with his emotions after learning what happened to his mom was super neat as well

however

bc this battle takes place in the final arc with everything else, there wasnt proper build up regarding many things, the kotoha reveal especially

so inosuke feels kinda forced into the kanao shinobu and douma conflict, similar to how giyuu felt forced into the tanjirou and akaza conflict

its quite unfortunate bc if the kotoha stuff was actually explored prior to the confrontation, this “forced” feeling would have disappeared

i know some people have suggested that the douma fight should have just been its own arc, and i very much agree, it would have certainly helped fix this problem regarding inosuke and kotoha

last random thought, i wish shinobu, kanao, and inosuke got their demon marks

VS KOKUSHIBOU

[Image Description: Manga panel of Kokushibou looking directly at the viewer, holding the hilt of his blade as if he’s going to pull it out. There are text boxes around him saying “This... is Upper Moon One... He’s so different compared to the other Upper Moons. He looks so dignified and majestic.” The text boxes are narrated by Tokitou Muichirou. End Image Description.]

5/10

this fight is... mediocre

at least theres a more tangible connection between muichirou and kokushibou

even though that was handled kinda poorly

tbh there really was no point to revealing that mui is koku’s descendant like at all, it just had no significant bearing to the plot of the fight

sanemi’s backstory being here is... okay ig?

idk the whole shinazugawa conflict has fundamental problems that i just cant think of any other place to put it without changing the entirety of canon

the marechi blood concept coming back was nice though

genya is there

him getting his bda was cool and helped turn the tide of the battle in a satisfying way (before kicking the bucket but thats not the focus here)

gyomei is a hollow husk of a character who barely got anything at all

but his fighting style is extremely cool and conveys his immense power very well

oh and him and sanemi are amazing at working together, like better than giyuu and tanjirou, and better than kanao and inosuke

theyre that good yet pretty much nobody acknowledges it which is sad

koku himself is pretty interesting and pretty tragic, very nice villain

but everyone together?

gonna be honest but this is such a random collection of characters, there was basically no foreshadowing that these four were going to go up again kokushibou, they are not that connected very well

i know there was this one post that focused on the theme of family that was common in all 5 characters in the fight but its just not enough

it would have been more cohesive if gotouge emphasized gyomei, mui, sanemi, and genya being like different aspects of yoriichi coming together to kill kokushibou hundreds of years after yoriichi failed to kill him

lmao its not like the 4 of them defeated koku with the power of family or friendship, they just smacked him over and over with a flail, shot him with magical bullets, and stabbed a crimson sword into his abdomen

wouldnt have been too hard to switch over to koku’s pov and go “damn these bitches are like my stupid brother”

...

speaking of crimson swords

i fucking hate the crimson sword concept oh my god can i complain about it now? im gonna complain about it now

unlike demon marks, the crimson blades werent even given any proper conditions, you just hold the stupid thing hard enough and it somehow imbues it with magical properties with no logic behind those properties

what part of crimson swords completely destroys a demon’s body in an instant? even muzan didnt go through that process when he was almost killed by yoriichi so where in the goddamn fuck did it come from

it could be explained bc the sword was left in the same spot for a long time but this tactic doesnt even appear again in a meaningful way (didnt kill muzan when tanjirou and giyuu held the sword together) so what the fuck was the point of having this even exist

its so underdeveloped and confusing and i hate it

the transparent world stuff is also confusing as shit and its pretty much never explained how they work aside from the vague “close your mind” advice, like why did it exist, it did nothing to help the present day demon slayers

its just so... poorly integrated

yeah anyways this is around the same rating as the akaza fight but a little worse bc there wasnt that strong set up beforehand

VS KOKUSHIBOU (SENGOKU ERA)

[Image Description: Manga panel of a bag getting ripped open, pieces of a wooden flute tumbling out. End Image Description.]

10/10

easily 10/10

this fight shows the tragedy of kokushibou giving in to his envy and hatred, when yoriichi cries over seeing his own family commit terrible attrocities against the people he wanted to protect

and yoriichi dies, now carrying the fact that he couldnt even save his own brother from the influence of muzan on his conscious forever

what a sad ending for yoriichi

and after koku angrily slashes apart yoriichi’s corpse, having him find and keep the flute he gave to him when they were kids to the present day gives him a small shred of humanity in the midst of his monstrous anger

VS NAKIME

[Image Description: Manga panels of Nakime. The first one shows a low quality version of her playing her biwa. The second one is a close up of her eye. There are spiky text bubbles saying “It’s Upper Rank... 4!” End Image Description.]

0/10

no nakime backstory

not even a goddamn fight

forgettable

useless

VS MUZAN

[Image Description: Manga panel of Kibutsuji Muzan in his white-haired, mouth-covered form. There are text bubbles around him saying “Not a single one was of use to me. I will crush the demon hunters tonight. I’ll massacre them all right now.” End Image Description.]

1/10

._.

i have many complaints but ill try my best to not make this another hantengu rant section lol

first off, obanai deserved better

im serious, this poor dude was forgotten until pretty much the end when we finally get a backstory out of him

and then he died

what a waste of a potentially amazing character

mitsuri getting taken out early was ehhh

pretty sure someone else made a post about her supposedly being extremely strong but she was nerfed in this battle which i agree with

literally none of the pillars work together very well, like remember how i praised sanemi and gyomei for being super coordinated? lmao that doesnt exist anymore

you could say this is caused by desperation though and you wouldnt be wrong, its just boring to sit through

that causes issues bc this now basically requires the crimson sword and transparent world concepts to be there to spice things up

but in this fight, they do nothing in the long run (except for tanjirou using the crimson sword at the very very end)

youve already heard me talk about why those two things are super shittily integrated and i cant be bothered repeating myself so moving on

kanao, inosuke, and zenitsu

they... exist? they didnt do much tbh, which i guess is the point but like, now its boring again

nezuko could have been used as a potential way to raise the stakes and make things interesting again (like “ah shit, muzan might actually be unkillable if he gets nezuko but its okay bc shes not here- oh fuck shes here this is not good”)

but nothing came of her running off except confirmation that she became human again so whatever

uzui and shinjuro are useless, why werent they at the fight?

like they could have followed nezuko and contributed to the battle even a little but they just didnt and now theres literally no point to them appearing in this arc at all

wasted potential

tanjirou

i wish him going absolutely apeshit had actual substance behind it, like it being a part of his character arc or something

i remember having this one theory that he had a corruption arc (due to dropping his kindness thing towards demons) and i wanted this to be true so badly

but it doesnt exist

not with how the series ended

god

the only thing that saves this fight from being complete trash is tamayo’s poison thing being amazingly executed

and the part where everyone got blasted away, losing limbs and shit, that made things a little more interesting again

but thats it

VS MUZAN (SENGOKU ERA)

[Image Description: Manga panels of Kibutsuji Muzan, Tamayo, and Tsugikuni Yoriichi. The first one has Muzan and Tamayo, while the second one has Yoriichi pulling out his sword. There are text boxes saying “And the moment I met him, I understood that I was born into this world to defeat this man.” End Image Description.]

9/10

finally something good again

while short, that’s just the nature of all of yoriichi’s battles with demons

anyways pretty nice, theres a clear reason why this battle exists (shows the scenario that made the original breather get super close to defeating muzan in detail)

adding tamayo here was a nice touch

my only complaint is that it seemed extremely coincidental that yoriichi somehow developed a breathing style specifically countering muzan’s multiple organs without even knowing prior that he had all those brains and hearts floating around freely in his body

like thats kind of ridiculous, even for yoriichi whos supposed to be “blessed by the gods”

could just be me though

VS TANJIROU

[Image Description: Manga panels of Kamado Tanjirou in his demon form. The first image has his eyes closed. The second image has his eyes opened and the tumor on his face almost completely faded. There are text boxes around him saying “You will destroy the demon hunters in my stead.” End Image Description.]

1/10

hoo boy

ok first off, demon tanjirou lasted for 2 chapters

thats it

2 chapters

so thats already a problem

i am aware its meant to parallel the beginning of the series but also its ridiculous how completely vague and rushed this entire thing was

nezuko doesnt do shit through not just this battle but this entire arc which i already explained so not gonna go into it further

kanao magically having a demon cure on her made very little sense

the scene where tanjirou leaves muzan in purgatory is pretty but if you look at it in the context of everything else, its ambiguous and confusing

(if someone could explain it and see how it connects to the original theme of “demons just being victims of circumstance,” i would love to hear it)

/

actually you know what makes me so mad about this “fight” as a whole? there was so much potential to do more with this concept

and im not talking about him escaping and nezuko becoming a demon slayer roleswap au (even though its a pretty cool concept)

him becoming a demon could have been a metaphor for his lost kindness and sympathy towards demons halfway through the series

it could have been a punishment for letting his anger towards muzan cloud his judgement

it could have symbolized literally anything about him losing his humanity as he got stronger

but those three things are just scenarios from my head, they dont exist in this series just based off of what weve seen from these two chapters

its disappointing

the only thing keeping this from getting a 0 is the one part where inosuke couldnt chop off tanjirou’s head bc he cared about him too much

that at least shows inosuke had grown as a character

everything else is just meaningless and convoluted garbage and “convoluted” is not what you should be aiming for if this is supposed to be the ending of your series

IN SUMMARY

early kny is very good, later kny is questionable and the ending is just a mess of wasted potential and disappointment

i get why gotouge had to have the transparent world ability, crimson blade ability, and the demon marks appear before they all appeared on yoriichi but theyre all just so underdeveloped and terribly handled in the battles they are used, it makes me want to kick a wall

like lmao, i could literally think of so many ways they could have been properly integrated, hell, im even writing a whole goddamn rewrite using my ideas for these three things (link to that is in my pinned)

just, god

if you want to debate over these ratings, my ask box is open ig? idk

[luimagines]

I am not a writer. Nor am I a person who posts stuff online,if at all rarely. But I am capable of typing and I am legally allowed to say that I have won a high school writing contest in my 3rd period English class in Sophomore year.I am still,what they call,VERY RUSTY.Take that as you may,but never in my life have I read an anonymous ask that has made me be burts into a desire to want to write down a bunch of story ideas of a dream that stranger had and then share it to another stranger online, to reply to publicly to about 100 more other strangers online. But none the less I STILL want to share to you sone of my--headcanons??--ideas??--bullshit dream story plotline??--(idk)-- I'll try to keep it limited because i don't want you to end up reading a rant novel-

I like to think that this //reader link? I'll just use y/n as a stand in i guess for this character or reader ??sorry if you dont like it,you can change it if you want?//before meeting The Chain Links *tm,she use to have a lot of problems being a #femaleheroinduringmediaveltimes but not in a way that most might see?I don't believe she would have really care for other people's opinions on the matter because she sees it as something very trivial and people will alway find a reason to look down on you and she also wasn't exactly let off easy for it during her training to be the hero of her kingdom.Even if she didn't want it,she was already destined and chosen for this path regardless of any possible sexist belief anyone had to offer.Her being the destined hero and needing to be strong enough to fight against Ganon was the utmost important thing on the to-do list,So bullshit like that was not accepted and they made sure it was in grain into her brain.

"Don't believe your enemies will ever go easy on you no matter what you are".

Most of the problems she would struggle as female I think ,would be on more on the biological side of things,for example like getting her period but being forced to have to truck though them anyways because she was a hero and it meant that you couldn't just take time off from your responsibilities and duty as Hyrule's saviour "just for some bad cramps" when you have lives to be saving and a world that needs to be protecting.So she would just not show any sign of complaint to the others about it or even let alone tell them about it and it just always seemed like from the outside that she would randomly just get super quiet and little withdrawn for no reason every month or so with a sort of tired/vacant look in their eyes?Anon also mentioned them having more of a military knight background and assuming she had been trained to or at least has lead troops into war/battle before,she could definitely be one of the teams best strategist along side with Warrior Link.I can definitely see them getting closer because of this as they're usually chipping in plans together and coming up with ideas/plans with what the best ways to use everyone on the team's special skills for certain position/roles during possible future battles.But a little bit after the whole "river" scenario i can definitely see legend sort of yell at her like

"wtf you is a girl and did not tell??? eXPLANaTiOn?????" "Because i didn't think it mattered??" "iT DoSe MaTtEr! ThAtS a bIG tHiNg!!"

There would definitely be a bit of an intervention with everyone to talk about the issue from "before". Maybe some what after everyone had gotten redressed and suddenly didn't feel like bathing anymore. After that everyone seem...awkward. No one knew exactly how to continue on with the revelation,so they all just stayed quite.At first she mistook this as a sign that everyone handled it well,she tried to continue business as always.While everyone was packing up to head out,she'd suddenly feel everyone's eyes.... Looking at her. When she turned she everyone just minding their own business.Maybe it was all just in herhead.The rest of the walk seem almost dead quiet.The once cheer mood of chatter was now replaced with an awkward tension filled with only small side glances,little quiet whispering from behind and an inability to look her in the face when she tried chatting with anyone.Is this what it was going to be like from now on?No of course not.They wouldn't let something as trivial as this get in the way of their relationship,right?they were still friends,right?

If you have the ability to but the stories in your head into recorded words then that makes you a writer.

No, I will not take any criticism on this matter.

This is beautifully thought out and it was a joy to read. I had to read it out loud out of fear that I would miss something entirely but I'm glad I did.

I would imagine it to be difficult to be on her period simply because when you're traveling there's no supplies to help out or lessen the situation! No cotton, no pain killers, not a lot of hot water to begin with... And yeah, she wouldn't say anything about it because a soldier wouldn't have the time to take care of it, let alone a hero.

She would also be the most used to blood on her clothes out of the group I think at this point. Just takes it upon her self to clean their clothes because they never seem to be able to get all of it and they don't know what they're doing even if she were to tell them how.

The boys think it's some magic technique but no.... it's just experience.

But the reader here that you mentioned would have had good teachers for burning it into her brain that it doesn't matter what body she has or what other people say because she the hero. She was born for this and there's no pleasing any one anyway. the best way out of this is to do the job and make sure you can get out alive.

What I want of the last paragraph is for her to get a little mad and question what the hell s wrong with everyone and then for someone to reply that it would have been disrespectful to look without direct permission because she would have deserved better than that. Like, they're fine with each other because they all have the same parts so like no big deal, but for them so openly show her themselves, verses her being seen openly.

I think it'll be a mixed bag of them being embarrassed that they were seen and that they saw her.

I think the ones least effected by it would be Wind, Warrior and Hyrule. Hyrule, because there's no like no people in his world so he doesn't have the same perception as the others, verses Wind who would probably be weird in the beginning but promptly not think too much on it because he has a sister at home and would help her bath when she was younger, verses Tetra who has had multiple shirts torn in the middle of battle- so who cares?

I was originally going to put Warrior as one of the most effected but I've played the game.... There are so many female warriors so if they got hit in the boob and needed attention then you take care of it. no questions asked and you move on with your day end of story.

The most effected would probably be Time, Twilight and Sky.

Time and Sky because- holy cow, I have a significant other, what am I going to say if they find out I saw another naked woman? Nothing. That's what. I'm a dead man if they ever find out.

Twilight because he was raised with his respect woman juice for breakfast and would have gladly turned away and oh my god- my mom is not going to like that I just didn't do anything this entire time and she's going to think that I just stared like some degenerate and what do I do now?

I think this is a fun concept and I don't mind exploring it more, but I'm beginning to suspect that I'm going to need a tag for the dream saga aren't I?

[ectonurites]

My least favorite type of fic!Tim is when he’s portrayed as depressed/very mentally and emotionally unstable, but also at the same time as someone who is like lauded as being super dangerous/the most skilled or something like that?? Those fics where Tim is chugging caffeine and barely sleeping, but characters are still like “oh I wouldn’t wanna piss off Tim he is Dangerous” and that’s annoying enough but then there are fics that at the same time as that portray him as like on the edge of a breakdown. It’s very irritating even if I’m not sure I can articulate exactly why, it just really rubs me the wrong way. Like, I definitely do think Tim has some issues with depression and stuff, but in fics like those it’s treated more like a quirk sort of instead of a serious issue

LMAOO I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT i’m not a fan of that either. I’m apologizing in advance if I sound mean in any of this critique i’m about to give of that fanon version of him. I want to preface this by saying that people can write whatever the hell they want, like, they’re allowed to! And I’m not referencing/calling out any specific works here. Just trends. But I’m gonna bitch about some things I’ve noticed that annoy me, personally. (so again, not saying other people can’t enjoy this stuff! just. not for me)

so like sorry if im mean but this is just me ranting and also this is my blog anyways so:

(nobody take this as an attack on them please because it’s really not)

The problem is a lot of those fics seem to interpret Tim’s behavior in Red Robin (& especially like that last whole arc of his Robin run also by FabNic) as if that’s his normal, rather than the result of a few years of CONSTANT traumatic incidents pushing him to a breaking point (because while all the shit he went through with his Dad, Steph, Kon, Bart, and then Bruce dying was spread out over several years for us as readers, it’s regarded as like within two years in canon! It all happens when he’s 16 and 17. According to the Batman comic right after War Games, Jack was murdered only days after Steph died.

(Batman #634)

That’s a LOT to process for one kid jesus christ) 

I love Red Robin honestly, I do, but it is about Tim at the lowest points in his life. It’s the grand finale of Tim’s story, and everything crumbles, that’s kinda the point! The end leaves him in a position to either rebuild himself or fall apart. It’s all about how he chooses to continue after this point!

(Red Robin #26)

The way he acts and the things he does in that comic should be regarded as such. He can’t live the way he does in Red Robin forever or he will literally burn himself out/become something unrecognizable, like, jesus it’s kinda even acknowledged in the comic when he thinks about what his potential futures would be if he keeps it up like he’s doing:

(Red Robin #25)

He sees himself as dead, as Batman (which he has countless times said he doesn’t want to be and at this point in his history almost every time he’s seen a future he became Batman in he had become a killer), or needing to retire and taking over an Oracle-esque role, likely because he exerted himself too much to continue. 

When you look at him around this same timeframe when he’s not isolating himself/too deep into the mission and is instead working with his friends back on the Titans, you can see that he is starting to heal and work in a more positive direction. He’s choosing to work on coming out of this rough period by being together with his friends who he loves.

(Teen Titans (2003) #100)

Not to say that you can’t write about situations in which he doesn’t start to come out of it, but if you are doing so it’s something you should be taking seriously because that’s the idea you want to explore, not just acting like it’s perfectly okay or normal? (And again, there are a lot of works that do explore it in good ways, there’s just also a LOT that don’t)

Like, so much content I see just make any sadness and depression and tendency to over-work himself that’s rooted in his traumas (which! those do have a basis in canon!) into a quirky personality trait rather than a response to trauma. Acting as if he’s always been this way and it’s normal for him. That’s what bothers me. If people want to seriously explore the effects of all these incidents and how that plays into his ability to do his job as a hero, then hell yes do it! But when it all gets brushed off as ‘oh thats just tim, he just doesnt eat or sleep or feel any happiness but like its fine he’s just always been like that’ I feel my blood boil. 

This also often strikes me as related/tied to fanon���s seemingly never-ending quest to make Tim into this victim of so many things he really wasn’t. They make his childhood 10x worse than it actually was (yes he was lonely because he was sent to boarding schools rather than having his parents around, but he was NOT just left home alone all the time as a child. 

(Batman #441)

He snuck away during a school vacation week to follow Bruce one (1) time and to then track down Dick. This is established in his introduction story! PLEASE read Lonely Place of Dying!) and it just... going with those fanon assumptions as being true changes so much of how people characterize him! 

Some people will also (not to call out tim/kon shippers especially because I  literally am also one but) vilify the shit out of Steph and make their relationship out to be some abusive thing rather than just... a messy teen relationship between vigilantes because they had really complicated lives and baggage with one another? Which they both acknowledge they made mistakes in!

(Red Robin #10)

Or people will vilify the shit out of Dick in regards to the situation at the start of Red Robin, or literally just make anyone who Tim ever had a disagreement with out to be the bad guy despite the actual situations always being way more complex and multi-faceted than that.

And then on top of all that, aside from making him into this ‘im broken 24/7 and not doing anything to fix it also everyone around me is terrible to me’ type of character, because he’s a lot of people’s favorite, they also want him to be as cool and strong as he is at his high points. So they’re projecting all this stuff onto him that makes him what should be a barely functioning person but then also act like that’s fine and he’s able to be a dangerous badass on top of it. 

Like I’m sorry but someone who is going out and actively acting as a vigilante like that which is incredibly physically taxing is NOT surviving on coffee alone and no sleep. That’s literally not possible, he’d fucking collapse. (And like, again, if you want to explore him pushing himself to that point, that’s one thing! but acting like he can manage all of that for more than a few days at a time/maybe while working on one really tough case is nuts!) and like, even canon can be a little guilty of this type of thing particularly since the New 52 (Detective Comics 2016 had more than a few references to him barely sleeping, but at least they also made references to him eating normally/healthily and he wasn’t completely self isolating or anything) (and also that comic had him be so self sacrificial he was ready to die to save everyone and only didn’t die because of Mr.Oz’s interference, he’s definitely not in his best place there) but usually it’s still within some realm of possibility.

Also like. The fanon ‘chugging coffee to survive thing’ just annoys the shit out of me because, like, yes there’s a few moments in canon where he’s under a lot of pressure and pushing himself further than he normally would and had some coffee (one of the only times I can even remember him having it on panel is... oh... during that last Robin arc I just mentioned a little while ago shouldn’t be where you source your normal characterization of him because it’s a very difficult situation that pushes him further than he normally would go! huh!) But the thing is like, people play it off for laughs, or like it’s a normal thing he would do at any time in his life! If you want to explore him pushing himself and using coffee as a crutch, like, there’s ways you can write it that takes it seriously, but almost every time I see it come up in fics it is like a core part of his personality and just ‘oh haha silly tim always with his entire pot of coffee he must chug every morning or he’ll die :^)’ And that bothers the hell out of me. 

In general it’s just... people treat Tim so weird. They want him to be so many different things that he’s shown himself to be at different times for very specific reasons, except they want him to do all of it at the same time which just doesn’t work. A person can’t function like that, and it’s not even close to who he is in canon. 

Again, people can do what they want, and this is just my opinion obviously, but yeah. My two cents on the matter.  Read Lonely Place of Dying, read Young Justice, read his Robin run. Read his comics and get a feel for who he was before all the rest of his trauma, and see how he canonically reacts to it along the way. I know reading comics can be tough for some people but so much stuff just echo chambers and becomes barely recognizable in this fandom and it’s just... a shame when it happens with a character ya love. 

[sadclowngorl]

The lost boys across generations.

This is all just my headcanon, that could honestly change at any minute. 👀. My headcanons are based off the prequel script! Pls read it.

This also includes my headcanon of Werewolves in the lost boys universe!

I'm a big history lover but don't be surprised if I got some stuff wrong, I'm not from California or any of these decades, but did a lot of research on it. So that was fun!

Comment your own headcanons i need more!!!!!

1910's

Having still getting used to the whole vampire gig, they have troubles adjusting to their new powers. Marko breaks a lot of things accidently, Paul accidently floats off when he jumps and doesn't know how to get down.

Dwayne was disappointed in the no sun ever thing, he really did enjoy visiting the beach and the warmth of the sun. So :(.

David was more morally affected of the murder part, he has facing against eating the innocent and eating the guilty. Though he realized how hard it is to tell the difference between good and evil. And after talking to Max about it he figured just not eating family's or children would soothe his morals.

The boys really didn't want to depend on Max for money at first, and seeing as California really depended on Fishing, they'd help sailors and fishermen through the night. Gathering coin from their work and possibly from the others pockets.

Though eventually the workers were sick of their antics and kicked the boys from the fishing docks. By that time they realized how much money Max has and said well why not.

Baseball was introduced to America during this decade and while I hate saying this, they enjoy it. Playing some ball to pass some time and to feel at least a little human.

I hate saying it bc of twilight. Fuck u twilight.

The influenza made the boys learn that they are unaffected by disease and from that they realized how short of a life span man has. So the next decade they lived through it fully.

1920's

Hollywood shined through California, bringing in plenty of blood and fun.

Marko had small gigs as a singer in some speakeasys, he enjoyed the attention and showing off.

Paul learned how to play guitar during this decade and loves it to this day.

Dwayne at one point was scouted by an acting agent but Dwayne quickly declined and oh no..ate the guy. Whoops.

The boys did push back the threat of other gangs marching through Santa Carla, by obviously. Eating them.

Through many decades, Max was very introverted. And stuck to his home in the busy nightlife of Santa Carla.

From gangs and people coming into California. Came werewolves.

1930's

They gained the name 'The Lost Boys' in this decade from the locals.

The stock market crashed, causing many to go into poverty. The boys understood facing the problem of poverty and in this decade decided to leave the needy be.

Instead they tried to feed from the humans who have no worries, and stole from them. Giving the goods to the locals who needed it more.

Much of this decade they decided to stay in the shadows, trying to be even unseen as night.

Along with the fact that Dracula (1931) just came out, they really don't need that kind of publicity. Plus Max prevented them from doing any rash decisions.

Though murder was still very high in Santa Carla because the werewolves were running rapid. While they mainly stuck to the woods, some did travel to the docks, poverty stricken neighborhoods, just to feast.

1940s

Then came the war, the internment camps, the fear.

The boys thrived from this fear.

They easily avoided getting drafted, by claiming to be gay. Which they weren't lying 👀.

By the 40s, they've had vampire foursomes. No doubt in my mind.

When the war ended in 1945, hitchhiking became very popular.

This was the year they got their own bikes, by got i mean stolen.

With their bikes they picked up lonesome hitchhikers, and played as hitchhikers in the night.

Though by the 40s the tension between the vampires and werewolves were high. The groups would constantly test each other which would end in bloody fights. The boys were outnumbered by the werewolves as they breed fast but, they had the skill over the wolves to keep them at bay.

1950s

The tension between werewolves and Vampires are on thin ice. The boys take full advantage of the greaser aesthetic and with it attract more victims.

Though they do attract the rivalry of the werewolves.

After decades of tension, the two's leaders have decided to come to a draw.

Meeting at the lighthouse, Max and the wolves leader decides the territory issues

The vampires take the boardwalk and the beach. The werewolves take the forest, and the mountains.

The only neutral part is the walton lighthouse and ofc like peoples houses.

After that issue is solved the boys decide to leave the wolves alone and focus back on their own feasts.

1960s

While the tension between wolf and vampires has eased, a new tension rises.

Communism, homophobia, raegan, the assassination of Kennedy.

While the political subjects the boys normally stay away from, when polictics decides to stick its nose in the boys way of life. Its a bit teeth grating.

The boys learned to live with hatred but didn't hesitate to eat their enemies, they need to keep the kill count in Santa Carla high after all.

Though they do become the victims of some hate crimes specifically gay hate crimes, along with threats of being arrested for association with communism. Ya know the red scare shit.

Moon landing happen. Or did it?

The boys are contemplating if the moon landing really did happen.

Marko and Paul do try to fly to the moon, get bored not even half way and go back home. Also the sun is always out in space, so not a good idea.

1970s

The boys are introduced to. Weed.

Ofc they love it, along with mari jane comes rock and a different type of crowd to feast on.

Paul seems to fit right in with the crowd of hippies, Dwayne enjoys their very calming nature but David and Marko are indifferent to the crowd.

Marko would rather run in the city than sit and smoke in the woods. While David enjoys smoking, he doesn't enjoy doing it with humans.

Marko takes a lot of advantage of the busting clubs with disco and fresh blood, David does the same but let's the victims come to him.

The group seem to bypass the movement of the Vietnam War, its just another war. War to them, its useless. Just killing each other? No no, thats theirs job to kill humans.

Max during this decade seemed to be looking for another member to join. Though he stays quiet of it and doesn't mention it to the boys.

1980s

Their peak

But also their downfall canonically

They love the art, the music, the people.

Everything about the 80s, they soaked right in.

Well..you guys know how they took to the 80s lol.

[nightswithkookmin]

Imo there is enough to support the possibility of a romantic relationship, but you are writing full on narratives with impossible specificity. You know what confirmation bias is but some young impressionable people dont yet . Forgive me but misleading with ' alt facts' can hurt someone even if you dont mean it. I think you are a good person not looking to hurt anyone. But the way you postulate without any evidence makes your actions a little but like those of a charlatan. Peace and kindness

All these kind words you spew...

It feels more like an advice than a question so I'm not sure how to respond to it...

Let me just say thank you? I never quite understood what the brouhaha was about with my posts but after talking to a few people, 'on the other side' lol and reading your Ask, I think I'm starting to get a better sense of what the problem is.

Something about young impressionable minds or people?

Let the council of elders know, those are not my audience please. I cater to a much more mature audience- at least so far. The people that I interact with and engage with on my posts on and off Tumblr are very mature and not impressionable at all.

They are People with brains who can tell an opinion from fact and can engage in deep complex controversial conversations without throwing up, shedding tears or cussing through to the heavens.

If there are 'impressionable people' reading my blogs- they do so at their own risk. If you know any such people or they run to you with my theories kindly point out to them it's just theory because that's what my opinions are.

I think the best thing you can do is to advice such people to grow up if they are going to sit at the adult table or not read my posts at all. I think you need to learn to hold the right people accountable for their actions.

The best I can do in this case- to hold myself accountable, is to put up a disclaimer on my posts to let people know what it is that they are reading- something I do quite often. But I will make conscious efforts to put up those disclaimers each time henceforth. Thank you.

That I write full on narratives with impossible specificity:

Is this Latin for, 'you write fiction get the fuck outta here?' Chilee.

I don't even know what you mean by this exactly so I may not be able to respond to it to your satisfaction. Bare with me.

So what if I write fiction? What is wrong with writing fiction? Do you hate fiction writers? I don't get what the hate is with these complaints honestly. Do you want me to put up a disclaimer stating my blogs are fiction? Would that help? I would glady do it.

If it helps you sleep at night think of my blogs as fiction- a rose by any other name. I've been keeping up with Shakespeare. Lol.

I don't think it's that deep. Listen, you gotta understand that just because we both 'ship' Jikook don't mean we are on the same team...

Most alt shippers I know and who read my posts and engage with it are not even Army to begin with, for your information. They could care less about these shipping politics of yours. Have you thought about that?

Some simply ship JK and JM and support them because they believe they are members of the LGBTQ plus community not because they are part of BTS.

There are different communities out there who are also into Jikook- for very different reasons. You gotta respect that.

To you, Jikook is just a ship within BTS that may or may not be real, but to some of us they have very much outgrown that description...

They are a brand of their own, a power couple and members of the LGBTQ plus community- Gay Icons extraordinaire. I think we take very different stock in Jikook. So stop trying to fit us all into one box.

It's disrespectful to try and control the way that people perceive their OTP and support them. Jikook don't just belong to Army Jokers, they belong to different communities outside Army. Are you aware of that?

And please don't confuse the intersect. I am an alt-shipper yes but I just so happen to be an Army too. But if I wasn't an Army, I'd still pretty much 'ship' and support Jikook- make no mistake. There are quite a few of us running around these streets, you know?

So you have every right to want to gatekeep your Army Jikook- but you have to do that without infringing on other rights of other 'Jikook communities.'

Throughout my blogs I have tried to shed light on what altshipping is because I thought it would help bridge the gap but clearly that hasn't worked. Sigh.

Misleading alt facts

Do you not know what it means or you are just being ironic?👀

Why is it ok for you to believe and proclaim that JK and BigHit lied about JK dating the Tattoo artist but it's not ok for me to believe JK is telling the truth when he says he didn't date her and that BigHit saw an opportunity to kill two birds with one stone- hence why they didn't press charges against the shop for breach of privacy like they had said they were going to do. Instead, they had asked the shop to keep calm till the scandal died down on it's own?

You start your piece off with the whole, 'there is enough evidence to support a romantic relationship' between JK and the tattoo shop lady- I assume.

For context, this Ask by this anon is in response to my recent post/ answer on the tattoo girl scandal where the topic of discussion was on BigHit, JK and the tattoo artist and not Jikook perse.

A statement that is in direct conflict with JK's statement, BigHit's and the lady in questions, all denying that there was a romantic relationship between her and Jungkook- and somehow I am misleading who- who now with my theory??? Chileee.

Do you see the problem here? Double standards- the hallmark of bigotry. Lmho. You are literally doing the very thing you are accusing me of. Making confident assertions and claiming you know more about JK and the Lady's relationship and even have 'enough evidence' contrary to BigHit, JK and the Tattoo artist's statements denying the rumors- at least when I theorize I admit I'm being delusional. What's your excuse? When you say charlatan are you referring to yourself? You must be. Lmho.

Now I'm confident in my comprehension skills and intelligent enough to know when you make an assertion like this- it is your opinion and you are just stating your opinion. If you are not then honey you'd be opening yourself up to some serious litigation... goodluck I guess. Lol.

You are allowed to form an opinion about a topic. There is nothing wrong with that. If to you, JK and this person dated that is fine. I am not going to cyber bully you, stalk you, throw slurs at you, harrass you, dox you, slid into people's Dms to spread hate and lies about you just because I don't agree with your opinion. And for the record, I don't agree with your opinion. Hehehehe.

I have stated my opinion on the matter. I said I think JK and this person did hang out, go on dates but that there was no romantic sexual relationship between them because I believe that would have had much serious consequences and effects on Jikooks dynamics no matter how much they tried to keep a cool facade. Whoever felt cheated on would have acted more insecure than usual post the incident- how does this make me a charlatan? Are you saying it's wrong it have an opinion? Chileee.

Now if you can produce 'evidence' of them having sex or even kissing, then I will gladly change my mind on the topic and not sweat it.

Jikook have done way worse questionable things in 7 good years and people still don't believe they are dating. Jk hangs out with a female friend a few times in less than a month and suddenly he is dating her? Lmho.

You don't need me to tell you people are more eager to accept a heterosexual relationship than wrap their heads around the fact that two male idols are gay and in a gay relationship with eachother. Don't you just love it when homophobia meets heteronormativity and stinks? I do. Lol.

I mean this is a fandom that thinks JK is 'too touchy' and doesn't respect his boundaries- they practically swear JK is cheating on Jimin with every member any time he hugs, kisses, wings at within the group. You think they will be 'objective' about JK hanging out with a girl? Even if it happened once?

You said something about confirmation bias.... I will not touch it. Lmho.

This is not the first time JK has gone on a date with a girl. This is not the first time he has 'dated a girl', he has hand girls on his laps or whatever- what is a back hug? I think people need to stop defining Jikook's lives by their own standards. If a backhug is intimate to you. Thats you. If you think a grown ass man cannot hang out with a female friend, that's equally you.

You think if he thought it was inappropriate and risky he would do it 'in public?' Get with Kpop Idol dating culture. Lmho.

Do you know the lengths they go through to keep their relationships a secret? Especially non celebrity girlfriends? Chen from EXO got married and where is his wife? They keep their flings tighter than Trump keeps his toupee on his head. Lol.

They hide them not out of shame but out of love and the need to protect their loved ones. These idols have family members who have their restaurants and businesses shut down because they want to keep their privacy.

You think JungKook's girlfriend would- on her own, issue a statement regarding a scandal that Jungkook's agency had specifically directed her and her shop to keep quiet about and lay low till it blew away on its own? And later, started liking couple posts about her and JK? If they were dating, certainly JK would have dumped her after that move. In my opinion.

You think JK would let his fandom drag the person he is in a relationship with to the extent she loses her Job- when in his Itaewon gay pub scandal BigHit referred to the issue as his private affair immediately it happened? They could have kept the same energy with her, no?

They handled his gay pub scandal much better, with much respect and consideration for his privacy- if he dated her sorry but she mustn't have meant much to him at all. And if I were her I would have dumped him for that shit and not stay liking couple posts about us. Damn- But do you.

Taehyung was in a scandal with a girl too- did you see her liking posts and shit and going out of her way to do the most? Did you see how BigHit handled that scandal?

Nothing wrong if JK is 'dating' her or had 'dated' her and whatever person he decides he wants to be in a relationship with I will support him- that's why I support Jikook.

But your opinion is equally valid my guy. Just don't call me a charlatan for mine. You believe they dated, I believe they didn't- and to your impressionable young minds, I hope you are not selling them anything contrary to BigHit and JK's statement. That would be very irresponsible of you. Lol.

What else did you say?

Oh postulating without evidence...

Next time I write a theory based on my observations about Jikook, remind me to break off a piece of my brain and attach it to it- I guess that way people would finally understand when I say things like 'I think' 'in my opinion' 'I feel' 'I believe' that these are just my thoughts and opinions and not facts.

Let me leave you with this:

Peace and kindness. Namaste.

Signed,

GOLDY.

[varusai]

who do you think is the most dateable dark matter thief?? i know you have an opinion and i need to hear it

sorry for the late response anon i honestly had to think abt this one for a few days lmao, but yeah i have opinions. below the cut bc fr i have opinions, all of them have major pros and cons (based on my characterization at least) and really i just have to break it down for u

Boros, everyones obvious first choice, but certainly not mine.

Pros: rich, tall, pretty, fun af, passionate, will kill for you np, give you anything you want, literally anything.

cons: has a god complex, doesnt respect you, not his number one priority at all, will forget about you once its not interesting for him anymore, probably argumentative/combative af, is very very smart and has no problem manipulating you in all the worst ways, is very entitled so he will never feel bad about anything, cant win arguments either bc he’ll want to settle it with combat, will get offended over little things just to argue bc he thinks thats fun

this is a relationship you’d get into if you literally have nothing to lose and dont care about your mental health. like hes hot but this shit would be toxic af and he will ruin your life and leave you to go fuck around and fight someone on the other side of the universe. this will be the best of times and the worst of times for you and you will never be the same afterward mentally or emotionally. the only way i would even consider it is if i lost my damn mind. The only way a relationship with him would ever work long term is if you were physically stronger than him and were capable of putting him in his place OR you were smart enough, suicidal enough, and interesting enough to him to engage in some psychological warfare and reject him if he asked you. Make him chase you for years, say yes, then decide that /he’s/ boring /you/ and leave him for another member of the squad to just destroy their established hierarchy and humble him to the point that he’s obsessed with you.

i dont have the energy for all that, so i’ll just smash and pass.

0/10 completely undateable

Geryuganshoop, also a probable second choice for many:

pros: cute, nice, tentacle alien (obviously), will respect you np, will also give you anything you want, not antagonistic at all, telepathic communication so no risk of miscommunication, emotionally intelligent and available, loyal to a fault,

cons: horrible boss/best friend that you will have to listen to him vent about for at least 3 hours a day, complete yes man as well so he will not tell boros no or cut him off and you will be stuck dealing with this no matter what, severely mentally ill and wont go to therapy bc he thinks hes handling it well, workaholic, needs a lot, and i mean A LOT of attention

this relationship would be great if not for boros lol. boros sabotages his social and romantic life but geryu has been friends with him too long to either cut him off or establish boundaries. he has no backbone (figuratively and literally) and wouldnt even consider it. he’ll ignore you in favor of his job too, to a massive degree. also i think that while the telepathic communication would be a major plus in most cases, here i feel like i’d have no less than 16 different, never before seen on earth, mental illnesses projected right into my brain just from being within a certain radius of him.

im already fucked up enough in that sense so pass unfortunately.

it would be a yes without boros in the picture tho lmao

so prob like 4/10 iffy datablillity, 1 level increase with each decade of therapy he gets tho so a lot of potential :D

Groribas, my fav girl:

pros: straightforward, realistic, very clear expectations, will not fuck around with you whatsoever like there is no mind games or anything here, will kill for you, rich and non materialistic so she’ll basically just let you do whatever with her money since she doesn t care about it, cares about her job but like...a normal amount. she absolutely has a good work/life balance, highly organized so she will not forget important dates, loyal af and will defend your honor under any circumstances, mean but in a funny way, a ton of fun to hang out with if you’re into that, no eyes so i dont have to worry abt eye contact ever

cons: extremely high expectations, like exhaustingly high, and not even a bit of flexibility there, if you dont meet the cut its a no, she’ll let you know and leave same day, she will also bully you, you need a thick skin and great sense of humor to survive, bad at feelings if you need emotional support???? go elsewhere, shes mega emotionally unavailable, will probably want to share bodies as a form of intimacy

overall its a solid 6.5/10 dateability for me i love the directness and no bs approach, we would def get along well. however, while im not sensitive, shes def gonna hit on some insecurities at some point and it will cause an argument lol. but i mean whatever. it happens. the body sharing would be an issue though, same reason i wouldnt be chill with having a symbiote despite being a major venom fucker. i need my space i cant deal with that. so thats a possible deal breaker if she couldnt get over that lol. and she wont, so we wouldnt work out. i wish it fuckin would tho😭😭😭 i would take whatever crumbs of attention she would be willing to give me

Melzalgald, my fav they/them bastard:

pros: amorphous and shapeshifting aka extremely attractive according to my taste in monsters, tall af but could chose to be a more reasonable survivable size lol, self contained and self-entertaining so they dont need a ton of attention to be happy, funny af, rich, will give you whatever you want and probably a bunch of shit you didnt know you wanted, very fun, built in friend group if you didnt already have friends, extremely emotionally intelligent and great people skills due to living in a collective, stupid af by choice, like some of em are very smart, but they dont claim that, will say fuck work and tell boros to eat shit to spend time with you, will kill for you as well, but only if you ask them to bc their first inclination is to just bother someone to death, very loyal, once they like you they like you really forever, it would take some pretty extreme circumstances to make them dislike you

cons: annoying af and its unavoidable, will talk over you, all of them at once will talk over you and do so loudly, no respect for personal space, they dont even know what that is, will probably accidentally manhandle you, they act stupid but arent so they can be manipulative, even if it isnt bad and they dont really mean to be, impulsive, forgetful of the needs of organic creatures so they will bother you at all hours of the day and night if you arent firm with boundaries, disgustingly extroverted and will bring randoms to your place without asking, or just...make new cluster members and you have to roll with it, will eat or absorb literally anything you have, will antagonize and bother you for fun, major jump scare risk since sometimes the forms are....fleshy

this ones hard for me like theyre hot af and i feel like they’d be super fun and good partners, but god....the noise. idk how long i could deal with that lol i dont like people in my house. it would drive me up the wall, but then again...i can simply kick them out when ive had enough. they arent projecting mental illness directly into my brain or requiring me to share a body sintelligento major plus. creepy thing/symbiote style hot monster without any of the invasiveness so tbh 8/10 dateability

some people date loud annoying extroverts who dont understand personal space that /arent/ rich, loyal, or emotionally intellegent so i’d be winning on a few different fronts lmao