#hes fantastic and a great listener and also just like. gets me. yknow

[woundjob]

what did i miss

[txttletale]

(Other than the really weird bit about "Male presenting Doctor") what were your thoughts about the specials?

pretty mixed bag, pretty messy, but good overall. i think they were very obviously a nostalgia trip for people around my age lol and it worked! i loved seeing tennant and tate back onscreen together, their chemistry hasn't aged a bit, and honestly just watching doctor who that wasn't written by chris chibnall was a breath of fresh air. they weren't boring, like seasons 11 and 12 were, and they didn't go too far off the other end into nonsense like flux did. characters want things again! the show can let itself just be silly! i was literally cheering out loud when donna and the doctor were just saying random scifi gobbledegook at each other for like a solid several minutes during the star beast.

the structure of the specials kind of baffles me. i love wild blue yonder--i think it's definitively the best of the specials as a standalone, it's absolutely fantastic, creepy and atmospheric and bringing things around to RTD's strength, which is well-written characters interacting with each other and letting good actors just act. but at the same time i dont understand why it exists? it feels like...idk. imagine if you watched the star wars original trilogy but instead of the empire strikes back the middle film was just a feature length film about luke and han surviving on an ice planet with no reference to anything that happens in the last film except the two characters' relationship. and then the next film was still return of the jedi, unchanged. it felt like that

i liked all the weird campy silliness of the star beast and the giggle, and they were both very fun! neil patrick harris gave a fantastic performance, there are a lot of very memorable sequences from the giggle, but it's very very all over the place. so many threads get kind of picked up and go nowhere. the toymaker's haunted house dimension goes nowhere. RTD's eyerolling social media commetnary goes nowhere (thank god tbh but yknow im illustrating something here). even the toymaker kind of goes nowhere, after ncuti gatwa shows up he's bascially an afterthought who loses by dropping a ball. obvious parallels to david tennant's first episode with that ball scene could be made, but just... aren't. it feels like load-bearing sectikons of the plot and themes were cut out to make room for a backdoor pilot for the stupid fucking UNIT spinoff

oh and it goes without saying i fucking hate all the UNIT wank in the star beast and the giggle. i hope space nine eleven 2 happens to their stupid fucking avengers tower i cannot stand kate stewart who is constantly a murderous bonehead (in the giggle alone she gets two pepole killed by not listening to the doctor and assuming that this teleporting godlike entity could be restrainted by Two Guys) who is both in and out of universe just a boring nepo baby with no merit of her own

um. i still dont know what happened with the regeneration. i think the implication is that when david tennant dies hell time travel back to become ncuti gatwa inside himself--at least the rehab dialogue seems to make that implication. but it's not really explained or explored? baffling. i do think that fourteen getting to settle down and live a peaceful life with his friends is cute.

oh yeah and the ask said other than that but goddd there was some good stuff in the star beast and honestly with the state of the UK media i will take any perspective on trans people that includes baseline human erespect but some of those lines made me cringe so bad. anyway overall i am cautiously optimistic for the future of the show--oh ncuti was fucking great did i mention that i instantly bnought him as the doctor he owned the scene, the moment he was there it was clear he was the protagonist, and i liked the church on ruby road well enough too--i am cautiously optimistic but i worry that a big UNIT-shaped tumor will devour huge chunks of it and it'll be annoying. also russel t davies is like 60 and i just dont want to hear what he has to say about twitter so im not looking forward to dot and bubble

[tryslora]

Hi

Do you have any advice on dialogue and how to make it flow?

I'm constantly stuck with "he said as he looked away"

"He smirked and replied"

It never feels flowy

I don't write fics I mostly write OC stuff so I have to build around my characters to really put them together.

It's just having my quiet and stoic character respond to the hyperactive pyromaniac is hard because one doesn't speak much and the other speaks too much.

Or when my other two characters are in the conversation it gets all messy and hard to keep up with who is talking and what they're doing.

Maybe I'm just blind to my own writing and don't see everything I want to see, yknow?

Hullo, Nonnie.

I’m so sorry for taking so long to reply to this question! Life has been… a particular form of chaos for the last couple of months, and I’m trying to wrangle all my tasks under control now. Which includes keeping up with responses and blogging!

ANYWAY. You’ve asked a really great question, and I’ll admit, I might struggle to answer it.

I’m one of those folks for whom the personalities come first—complete with dialogue patterns and habits—before I get descriptions, setting, plot, or oh… anything else… so breaking down how to best make your dialogue snappy and flow means taking a step back from what I do and looking at how I do it.

This is going to be a mix of advice from how I do things, and advice I’ve adopted and found useful from other writers.

First and foremost: there are two parts to creating natural, flowing dialogue. One is the dialogue itself—the words the characters choose, and how they come out—and the other is the description around it (such as the dialogue tags you reference in your examples). They have different focuses, but both are important to how the text flows.

I’m going to drop a caveat here first, because it’s my downfall: we, as humans (and uh, especially those of us with ADHD, *cough cough me*), have a tendency to repeat ourselves. We also um, ah, like, y’know, a lot. Some of this is fantastic in dialogue. Too much can change flow into drag. So. With everything else I say, please take that into account as well. When I’m editing, I have been learning to trim out the spaces where I am saying or doing the same thing multiple times in a few paragraphs. BUT. That’s the important part—it can ALL be fixed in edits!

Let’s talk words first. You say you have quiet and stoic character matched up with a hyperactive chatterbox (a dynamic I enjoy). And you’re right, this can be tough when the stoic character is like “grunt” or “mm” or “yeah” and there’s nothing else coming out. BUT. This is true to the character and gives great insight—in this case, the character’s actual dialogue is going to come from their actions. So, we’ll get to that.

The thing with the stoic character is that every word needs to mean something. Every word they say is going to be solid and important because they say so little. It might even be overloaded. I’ll admit, with this kind of character, I love writing from their POV because I can put the few words out into the open, but let them ramble inside their own head (which yes, can sometimes be like pulling teeth). I get that flow out of their thoughts more than what they say. The freebie story I drafted for my newsletter subscribers is an outtake missing scene from my next book written from the point of view of my (more) stoic character in the book, because I wanted to play with that myself.

For the chatterbox, I’m curious—do they talk so much in order to hide what they’re really feeling? I know most of my talkative characters are spilling everything in order to hide in plain sight. After all, if you’ve left every card on the table, no one can claim you’re hiding something. Even if you are leaving that one important thing out (keeping a last ace up your sleeve), no one will notice in the glut of other information.

One way to handle this is to have the stoic character really listen and pay attention to what’s underneath all the chatter. Let them respond to the one thing that really means something in the flow of words, which might stop your chatterbox in their tracks. Being seen/heard can be a shock for the kind of character who lets it all hang out.

Let’s get back to those dialogue tags and talk about actions. Every character (every person!) has body language that does a lot of the talking for them. If someone’s arms are crossed, they might be resistant to and idea, or they might be cold, or they might be trying to hold themself still. One of the things I’ve done is to roleplay my character through a scene—move like they move, fall into why they say what they say, and what they do when they are not saying something to hold back. What actions do they take, and how can I put that on the page? Not just movement, but also what do they smell/see, what’s going on inside their head, and all the why involved.

And here’s the thing: sometimes “He says” is a valid way to do it. It’s okay. Let the dialogue do its thing and don’t worry. Remember, you can add blocking later, if you need it. 

Here, quick example from one of my serialized pieces:

“I don’t feel like I can talk to Hannah.” Nevaeh scrunches up her nose. “God, no, I don’t mean that I want to be involved with her. Just. She was so weird about Stevie, and I think she might get even weirder if I asked Liz out. And I don’t know if Liz is even ready to do dating things. Or if she’s into girls! We’ve never talked about it. Why is it all so weird and complicated?” That’s one thing Pawel can answer. “Because humans are gloriously complicated beings, and we have a tendency to take even things that could be simple and overcomplicate them by worrying at them. Anxiety, intelligence, fear… they all make things feel big. And these questions are both very big and very small all at once.” “Because labels are helpful, but not necessary,” Nevaeh says. “Because they make it easier and harder all at once.” “Yes.” He’s not sure if she really gets it, so he adds, “Follow your heart.” “Is that what you do?” No, it’s not. Pawel has too many things to weigh before he can make any decisions. His career. The kids in his care. His own son. There are so many variables in his life, and he hasn’t had any chance to just leap after emotional responses. Not since Conor was conceived. Not since Chelsea first disappeared. “When I can.” He glances sideways at her, away from where Alanna and Jennie have finally stopped their game and are on the swings. “I’m glad you feel comfortable talking to me.”

This is a chatterbox teen talking to the guy her two dads are trying to bring into their relationship. And Pawel is a chatterbox as well, but he’s definitely the kind who will talk constantly in order to not say a lot of things, which is illustrated by letting him ramble internally in the final paragraph of the example.

Also, they’ve been given a setting where they are both somewhat distracted by two of Neveah’s siblings playing at the park, so they have something to do. If I were better, I’d have included things about summer scents, the sky, etc. etc. in the descriptions (they are my downfall).

If you look at the dialogue, you’ll see that the sentences are all over the place in length. Long ones, short ones, and ones that aren’t much more than fragments. I try to echo how people really talk, but avoid the pitfalls of things getting circular or buried in extra words (except Neveah says “like” a lot and it is absolutely on purpose).

One of the biggest things for me is being inside the head of the point of view character. Being able to hear the things they don’t say can really help when it feels like they aren’t saying anything, and you a build a whole story in those subtleties. Kind of like having subtitles that interpret what’s happening rather than what’s said.

If you have a lot of characters, it’s going to get confusing—90% of the book I excerpted above included multiple adults on screen and 7 or 8 kids. It was chaos. People talk over each other. In those cases a simple “Neveah says” is the easiest tag. Let them talk, and let the dialogue shine. And if characters have quirks, let those shine, too. If someone’s screaming about sugary desserts in that book, it’s probably Jennie—no need for an attribution. Growling is Leo. Finishing each others’ sentences are Emma and Conor. Spattered with “like” is Neveah. Little quirks and details are things you can hang a lot on.

And just to say… yeah, we’re all blind to our own writing. It happens. We are so close to our own words that it’s hard to see them as words anymore. I usually have to set something aside for months if I want to do a truly deep edit on it, because I need to see it as Not Mine first. Then I can be objective. Do you have a reader? Either an alpha cheerleader, or a beta you trust? That’s the best. They can tell you if they trip over something, or if something feels stilted. Or if you’ve had someone shrug six times on one page (I certainly do that, like, all the freakin’  TIME).

And in the end, less is more. It’s okay to strip things back and focus more on sentence length and how words taste in your mouth if you read them aloud. It’s okay to write just the conversation first, then figure out how they move around each other while talking. It’s okay to write the blocking first, then fit the dialogue around that. Sometimes stepping back to one piece of the puzzle helps the other one shine in your mind’s eye.

I’ve rambled a lot, and I’m not sure if this is what you were looking for. And uh, again, I’m sorry how late this response it. I really hope you are still here and see this!!

Best of luck with your words, Nonnie. And remember: whatever you write today, that’s another step on your writing journey. It’s okay to delete them, edit them, love them, put them in a box for later… whatever you want to do. Just write them, and tomorrow write a little more. Even if this isn’t your final book, pieces of it will come back in another way later. I’m currently writing “fic” of people I’ve been building over the last uhhh thirty or so years. 

Enjoy your characters and your stories. And remember, everything comes with time. Keep writing, and keep learning. You’ve got this!

[trainingdummyrabbit]

society if we actually finally got mad rat dead 2 and/or DLC

WOE . YOUVE ACTIVATED MY HYPERFIXATION TRAP CARD.

first of all: real and true. its been several years and th madrat plushie still isnt finished being plushie'd iirc. its so funny. second of all: i have Opinions about this topic ok listen ok ok. im going to get a Little annoying abt it. apawlogies.

(so um, obviously, mrd spoilers. im being serious youshould play mrd if you havent already i love it dearly ok. thankyou.)

ilove this funny little game so much and id love to see it mentioned and appreciated more than it is with all of my heart. that being said; we do Not need a sequel. honestly, the dlc route i think would fit much better-- something id personally love to see. because again; the whole Coming To Terms With Death thing. mad rats arc revolves around that! getting to live the way he wants to; leaving his mark in a way he feels satisfied with-- thats the whole Thing. not only this, but heart and rat god's characters revolve around it too-- albeit in a different way.

what im saying is that a lot of the time, whenever ive seen discussion of a theoretical sequel, its always just kinda putting everyone back and everyone lives and thats kind of.. it. its hard to make a sequel to a game like this without kinda intrinsically doing that. but that also completely goes against what the story stands for as a whole. the whole mousewheel metaphor, yknow? it feels like itd kinda render everything mad rat and heart did kind of meaningless. like itd remove a lot of the weight of what the story presents.

what i personally think would really work, in terms of extra story, is something more akin to inter-story expansions. details where there werent things before; stages in between what we see in canon. because there's a Lot of things that simply remain unsaid (which i WONT infodump about here itll be an all day thing; what ill say is that this isnt a strictly negative thing) and being able to extrapolate a bit more on heart's-- and especially rat god's-- characters would be a Really fantastic option. heart, as a lead, gets a lot of introspection and screentime, but he also inherently revolves around whatever mad rat chooses to do. its hard to imagine he doesnt have things he doesn't-- or wouldn't-- express. (i think about how willing he was to die with mad rat; how he immediately followed along with him, supported him. what does this say about heart? who He was before all this? how he was before all this?)

and obviously . rat god. all i have to do is point to If We Could Be Friends. it speaks absolute Volumes about who she is and how she functions Despite her role in the story and how she presents herself. between that and everything at the end of Mad Rat Die, there is so much she simply doesnt express of herself. because she doesnt have to. she's Never had to. so to suddenly have to grapple with what you stand for being (successfully!!!) challenged like that-- listen. she has some Serious traits left unexplained, unspoken. as she is in-canon is genuinely fantastic, if horribly tragic by nature. but getting to see just the Smallest bit more of that attitude shine through with a theoretical expansion would kill.

i love how quiet all that is. it fits her. but to add a bit more definition would be Really great. i want to know how everyone would potentially grapple with that-- how she would grapple with that. what i most strongly imagine is a pseudo-noncanon almost dreamsequence type thing-- things still end the way they do, but it serves to simply allow them to be honest with each other, who they are, and really let them settle what fate chose to do with them. maybe they will meet again, in heaven, in hell.

also im tired of people acting like she has no character other than "wants to kill you" and "hashtag girlboss" me when i fuckig get y

[diagonal-queen]

dia entirely forgot it was thungo thursday until mayoi reminded her and she dropped everything to watch the ep. here are all her thoughts, live-documented, in chronological order (apologies for this):

NOT RANPO CHILLING LIKE SHIT'S SWEET WHEN THE CAR HE WAS IN JUST FUCKING CRASHED LMAOOOOO

ranpo is so small next to minoura. he's so tiny and cute i just wanna cuddle him sm (and yes i am a little taller than him- height means nothing to me. we all know where the rest of his inches went YKNOW WHAT IM SAYIN YA FEEL ME)

'the police of this nation are idiots' yes minoura you're absolutely correct but consider this: the police of every nation on god's green earth are idiots

isn't it amazing how it was written in this magical reality-bending book that nobody would believe in the agency's innocence and in a couple minutes worth of running his mouth, ranpo just...undid it?? for like hundreds of police officers??? the sheer power of this man

god i forgot just how fucking fantastic this intro is. tbh this is probably my favourite intro of all of them. the colours and imagery and the chaos of it all MWAH (also kishow voice mm)

bones. was this panel too hard to animate properly?? did you read the fucking manga bones?? do you HATE US BONES??????

i could listen to ranpo talk for HOURS. literally hours, in a language i don't even speak, about anything he wanted, for hours, and i wouldn't get bored. his voice just...*kicks feet and giggles*

i missed you tecchou <3 please keep cooking for fukuchi. you're doing great sweaty xx

some loser: 'when do you suppose a life ends?' even bigger loser: 'when it becomes unable to adapt to change' fukuchi on his celestia ludenberg arc ok

IT'S BEEN LIKE ONE FUCKING WEEK AND THE UN IS ALREADY MAKING AN ANTI-TERRORIST GROUP??? THEY'RE FULLY READY TO FIND AND EXECUTE THE AGENCY MEMBERS IN UNDER A WEEK?? THE ICC LEGALLY CAN'T EVEN DETAIN CRIMINALS ON THEIR OWN IRL

i wish people reacted to seeing my posts on their dash the same way that the united nations reacted when fukuchi appeared onstage

congressmen will excuse mass shootings of gay ppl and then have shirtless fukuchi posters hanging above their beds where they half-heartedly fuck their wives and go to sleep before the thought of helping her also cum even crosses their mind

wait. *pauses and zooms in*. WAIT. YOU'RE TEL

YOU'RE TELLING ME THAT

TH

THAT ABRAHAM STOKER WAS THICC?????? THAT HE HAD A DUMPY???? THAT HE HAD SOME JUNK IN THAT TRUNK???? ALL THAT ASS INSIDE THOSE JEANS???? CURSE YOU FUKUCHI OUCHI FOR RIDDING THE WORLD OF BRAM'S CAKES

thinking about it, doesn't the decay of angels sound like a really cool name for an operatic metal band??

fukuchi: *enters room* ranpo: YOOOOOO STEPDAD GUESS WHO'S AN ENEMY OF STATE :DDDDDDD

fukuchi really is like 'you havent changed at all, boy' ranpo is literally eight years older than me. if he's a boy i'm primordial soup

fukuchi also said that ranpo's title of 'excellent detective' is self claimed. the thousands of people whose lives ranpo's probably saved must all be like 'say sike rn'

ranpo trusting fukuchi solely because the president said he trusts him. crying screaming throwing up ranpo GIVE ME ONE CHANCE (that's right guys we're back to this again)

fukuchi thinks he's hot shit cus he can jump high?? well my ocs can also do that fukuchi. sucks to be basic huh

IT'S NOT RANPO'S FAULT HE WAS BORN LATER AND THUS MET FUKUZAWA LATER??????? FUCK OFF FUKUCHI (also i love the way they're sitting they're all so silly mwehehehe)

omg ranpo also commented on the 'boy' thing lmaooo he and i are so good for each other <3 if only he'd give me a chance... </3

i wonder what portion of atsushi's budget goes towards emergency ramune. also imagine someone caring enough about you that they always keep one of your favourite snacks on you in case you get hungry or something. that's so cute i can't <3333

imagine coming up with a complex plan, twelve or so years in the making, to end the world, all because u asked ur friend out like thirty years ago and he said no T-T

fukuchi: *tilts neck* *minecraft skelly noise*

oh atsushi. i know other people won't like me saying this but you're so hot and i want to do the sex with you <3333333

wow bones. you've outdone yourself. this has to be the best fisheye yet- maybe even beating lucy's fisheye for how terrifying it is. i'm genuinely speechless

AKUTAGAWA

omg atsushi's speech on how loneliness is his biggest fear and how much he cares about his loved ones (kinnie moment), and the one thing he needs, truly needs right now is someone to fight alongside him to save all that he has to lose and the world as he knows it, and then akutagawa appears? soulmates. i mean it's not even like this is a surprise to me as someone who read the manga but, like, it's different when i'm watching it. soulmates. soulmates soulmates soulmates

and that's a wrap for tonight's edition of dia's thungo thursdays!! be sure to tune in for next week and see them cry tears of hopelessness and despair!!

[speedierthanasubmarine]

My list of least favorite to favorite Batman actors:

Note: I’m a random person on the Internet, and my opinion should not affect you to the point of rudeness, harsh comments, or any sort of discourse whatsoever. I never say DNI, because you can interact with whoever you want, I’m not your mom, but if you want to start an argument…

DNI.

Also, I am an idiot and I’m aware of that, please don’t judge me.

Lastly, I’m excluding Kevin Conroy from the list because all his works vary, I either love his voice or I hate his voice, there is no in between. (Note: this was in my drafts for a very long while, during which Mr. Conroy had passed away. RIP Mr. Conroy.)

Without further ado: My Batman actor list:

9. Adam West- I personally didn’t enjoy his Batman… the whole vibe was too old and silly looking for me, but if I’d been alive at the time it came out I think I would’ve enjoyed it. It’s like the way my little siblings feel about the original yugioh series.

8. Battinson (Robert Pattinson)- I have a whole speech for this but I’ll try to be brief. Batman is the second smartest character in the DC universe (after Lex Luthor, a fact I think is still up for debate.) and the second best in hand to hand combat (after Lady Shiva which is not up for debate, I totally get that.) He can toss a man across a room with one hand, aim a gun without looking and grapple across cities supporting himself and all his body weight and muscle mass with one arm. He can learn a person’s tells, weaknesses, and inner natures after a few moments of conversation. Guy is a freakin BEAST of a man. Battinson gave me Walmart edition Tim Drake Batman from battle of the cowl vibes. He was like the brown ninja from Lego ninjago. (I don’t know if that guy went on to become great or something, all I know is that when I stopped watching the show he was a liability at best.) He didn’t feel like batman, or at least any batman I knew and liked to see. I don’t know if they were going for like, detective comics batman, but even then I felt like he fell flat and did a poor job. That’s my opinion and that’s that.

7/6/5. (Totally equal.) George Clooney, Val Kilmer, and Michael Keaton- Movies were fine, they weren’t anything special for me in terms of acting, no issues, no highlights.

4. Batfleck (Ben Affleck)- LISTEN I know his movies sucked, I’m not defending those, however he did a great job of playing the white knight, future state, urban legends, Injustice, Heroes in crisis, Doomsday clock, basically any elseworld Batman I ever read and liked- he pulled off the vibes. The paranoia, the desperation, the determination- he did those very well. He was the best BRUCE WAYNE. His Batman performance was eh, nothing special, weird suit, but his Bruce performance? Phenomenal. Especially when he had to be Bruce, party boy Brucie, shaking hands, “I bought the bank” Bruce, and then when he was “even a 1% chance” contingency, decoding files, nightmare having Bruce, and when he was working out, investigating, preparing Bruce. He did them all justice (pun intended.) better than pretty much everyone else. (UPDATE) I just remembered this list is for Batman actors, not Bruce, so I’d put him at 7, maybe 6. I’d change the list, but I’m lazy. (I also wrote the word Bruce so many times the word has lost all meaning.)

3. Jason O’mara- I thought he was great. I loved his voice, it was basically perfect. 10/10 Nothing more, nothing less.

2. Christian Bale- Absolutely amazing. Amazing Batman, fantastic Bruce, really cool detective, awesome everything. Only thing I’d change, and this is super petty, is just that in terms of aesthetics I’d want him to be thicker, I thought he was very lean, and the suit would just be upgraded to like 2022 quality, little more updated/sleek, yknow? But that’s not even a real critique, just a thought. I loved him, absolutely phenomenal.

And finally.

The moment we’ve all been waiting for.

The GOAT.

NUMERO UNO: MR. WILL ARNETT.

ALL OTHER BATMAN ADAPTATIONS ARE DOWNRIGHT MID WHEN COMPARED TO THIS GOD

Thanks for reading.

[tbcanary]

ah, well!! in that case, welcome! i have a few i can solidly recommend to get you started. a lot of these are going to be bats, because that’s where i have done the most reading, but i’ll try to mix in some variety:

honestly, pretty much anything by greg rucka. he’s an excellent writer. specific recommendations include “batwoman: elegy,” “huntress: cry for blood,” and his time with Wonder Woman during her 1987 title run. it’s not all perfect, but none of his stuff has really turned me off in any way. (also, his indie comic “the forged” is full of a really great cast of women!)

continuing the indie comic thread, kieron gillen’s “die” comic from 2019. he’s also got the wicked + the divine, which has a few stellar female characters in a broader cast.

more bats: batgirl (2000) for cassandra cain, and batgirl (2009) for stephanie brown. (also, i love how Steph is written during jon lewis’ time writing robin 1993. that’s mostly tim’s run, but she’s A Part Of It and she’s important to me.)

hawkeye (2016) by kelly thompson, the run about kate bishop running a private eye business in Los Angeles. it’s a different vibe from like, every other comic i’ve recommended? but i love it so so dearly.

supergirl: woman of tomorrow (2021) by… sigh. tom king. mr. king is… controversial, to put it lightly. but this run is literally required reading (lighthearted). it’s so, so good.

huntress (1989) is also fantastic and a good look at vintage comics and how they give women agency and explore feminism during the time. mind the content warnings, though.

black canary (1991) is a little 4-issue run that i enjoy just because the art is cool, dinah is the light of my life, and you get to see her doing cool detective stuff. not groundbreaking, but a good place to start if you want to learn about her.

Wonder Woman: Historia. this one, i’m not going to explain to you, because I think anything I say will do the run itself a disservice. it’s stunning, it’s well written, and it’s almost entirely women. what more could you want!

poison ivy (2022) is so… so good. particularly the first six issues, when it was meant to be a limited run with a concise ending. it’s still fun after that period ends, but the vibes of an ongoing run with an indefinite ending are a little less pointed and deliberate, so. yknow. give it a shot if you want, it’s a low stakes thing after the initial arc is done.

i’ll also say, while i haven’t read them, i know people care a great deal about young justice 1998 and the new teen titans, in part because they have such strong and compelling ladies on their lineups. those are good places to look if you want women on a team rather than a solo female comic. i’ve also heard excellent things about supergirl’s 1996 run, although i haven’t gotten around to reading it yet.

as for what to avoid… my god. that is a complicated question. a lot of the authors in comics have a tendency to write a really good run one or two times and then completely fucking beef it later. generally, though, the standard rules i’ve seen are not to listen to anything said by ge//off jo//hns or gra//nt morri//son. (i am not putting this in their tags. i refuse.)

otherwise, when to ignore or engage with a writer is frequently dependent on things like who they’re writing, what run it is, the political climate of the U.S. at the time, the message editorial wants to send, the era the comics are in, and indeterminable things like the positions of the planets and the direction of the wind.

welcome to comics! i hope this helps you find a few ladies to tuck in your pocket and run.

being a liker of women in comics is the hardest thing in the world. you read one spectacular run about her that rewrites your entire brain and then after that it's like. do you want the run where she's a sexy lamp. the one where she's a generic love interest. the one where she's needlessly infantilized. or the one where her entire backstory is erased in order to make her a surprise villain and evil temptress.

[zuckarr]

🎞️💗 My 10 Favourite YouTubers 💗🎞️

YouTube is the website I'm most often on. I first joined it in 2008, before it was bought by Google, which allowed me to experience it during its golden years. Prior to becoming a money-making colossus, YouTube was nothing more than a video sharing site, where users could upload virtually anything and get their videos rated with fun little red stars, post bulletins, have an inbox and get DMs, personalize channels with backgrounds, and so much more.

Nowadays, YouTube has changed radically, and in many ways, awfully. On the bright side, it also progressively became a chance for people to grow as video editors on a professional level. I've been watching and appreciating some of them so much that I consider myself to be part of their community.

The kind of YouTuber that I find myself most driven to are the vloggers, aka the folks who talk to the viewers about anything (even personal matters). I like listening to what they tell me, as if we're friends exchanging experiences and opinions in a cafe. I don't always agree with them, but that's alright.

I thought it would be quite nice to list my favourite YouTubers in one single post, in hopes that somebody else on here might discover a few interesting channels.

Nadia Bokody

This girl talks about sex education! Yknow, the thing they could never properly teach us in schools, despite how important it is. Nadia is a lovely woman who's had a lot of sexual experiences (which she has no problems admitting) and is very well informed about plenty of sex-related topics. She's there to chat with you as positively as possible and hopefully teach you a thing or two about your beautiful, private body parts and how to use them respectfully, with a partner or by yourself. Don't miss out!

2. Roly

Body modification, piercings, tattoos, fun and most importantly - fabulousness! These are the primary ingredients for the Roly channel, run by a fantastic gay man who gets a ton of hate and makes the best use of it!

3. Mohammed Agdabi

A black artist who takes deep dives into modern art issues, uncovering viral (and often trivial) Twitter fights and giving insight. Other than that, Mohammed is a great source of tips and encouragement for artists.

4. Aurikatariina

Depression is an invisible plague, and becoming a hoarder is often an even more hidden consequence of mental struggles. The house in your neighbourhood that you never saw the inside of could be filled to the brim with trash and dirt, for all you know. Aurikatariina is simply a cleaner, who loves to help out people who have stopped taking care of themselves, and therefore, of their homes. She compassionately tells the stories of the people she helps, while also giving out amazing tips and hacks for cleaning in the most efficient ways.

5. DottieJames

This girl can be many things, but she is first and foremost a poet. To be more precise, she is an unconventional poet, whose works are a mix of various forms of communication like humming, spelling, writing, reciting, doodling etc. She excels at expressing a gentle and odd uniqueness that sometimes feels hard to grasp. Worth a shot though, probably even two.

6. KnowsBestNever

The duration of KnowsBestNever's videos can be intimidating, but once you start listening, they're over in what feels like barely 10 minutes. This dude's words flow like water, and just like that, he is able to enter the crevices of each topic he chooses to dig into. Listening to him speak is nothing less than a pleasure. He can be thought-provoking in a way that easily resonates with you, forming the impression of having just had the best intellectual chat with a very down-to-earth friend.

7. DutchPilotGirl

Who hasn't wondered what's it like to be a pilot? How do they feel when they fly? Do they get tired of the gorgeous views from the cockpit? How do they return to their homes after a flight to the opposite side of the world? How do they start the airplane? This channel is a great chance for learning about lots of stuff that only pilots know, kindly narrated by a woman pilot who's worked her ass off to get where she is now!

8. Nu Mindframe

Sometimes you don't need a therapist. Sometimes all you need is the advice of a survivor, who has gone through terrible things and has completed her own healing journey by herself. This YouTuber opens up her heart to us and shares everything she has learned through suffering. There is something for each of us in her words.

9. Simnett Nutrition

This vegan bodybuilder adores sharing his tasty recipes, achievements, informations and thoughts! He thrives in positivity, and loves to tell the world how his vegan lifestyle is going. Whenever he smiles at the camera, it feels like the sun is shining. His enthusiasm is just incredible and I dare anyone not to feel engaged in it!

10. Karolina Żebrowska

Niche passions are adorable. This YouTuber loves dated fashion. Show her an old, black and white photograph of a random woman and she will be able to pinpoint exactly the time period she was from, just by looking at her clothes or hairstyle. Isn't that really cool?

[robitherat]

what’re some mh fanfic recs ? been trying to get back into reading more of em

am I allowed to plug my own AO3?

no but forreal tho, there's so many good ones im just gonna link my favs from my AO3 history (Note that most of these are Jam fics because im a basic little bitch and love my comfort couple okay)

putting a keep reading bc i added a LOT lmao

"Next to You" I think this was one of the, if not the absolute first fic i read for mh back in like. 2017/18? It's a wingfic/ angel and demon AU, and I'll admit its not the absolute most fantastic piece of literature, but it's a classic in my heart so

"One Day" Very Very adorable jam fic, post mh domestic bliss, there's chickens and disgusting amounts of fluff. Read It.

The entire Hotel Hopping series by rebiTV. Still semi-patiently awaiting the next upload because Oh My God. Just the usual hotel shenanigans. Some are funny, some are angsty, and the most recent post to it left us with a cliffhanger that i think killed my soul a little bit in the best way.

"3:27 am" A super well-written fic depicting Jay Going Through it. The whole thing is basically Jay dissociating, so slight warning for that, and it's kind of trippy to read but honestly it's so good dude.

"Lazy Mornings" This one's a Bram fic featuring some fluffy cuddling of unknown origins. Good little light read and one of my all time favorite fanfics ever.

Pretty much anything by jaythewriter, their work is fucking phenomenal and I rlly wish they'd post again honestly but also yknow. stuff happens. I'll just re-read all their works again instead.

"Don't You Hear Me Howling" Another bram one, this time featuring the Masked Boys and how complicated a relationship can be when your partners don't remember you when they wake up. It's super well written and makes me sob every time i read it <3

"Farm Boy" Super soft and sweet fic about Jay kind of remembering his love for farm animals when he and Tim have to stay in a barn for a night. TW for implied animal death (maybe? it's up to interpretation) but I swear it's an honestly really well-written soft fic that makes me feel so many feelings. I also just realized this is another from jaythewriter but yknow what it's so fucking good im keeping it.

"All The World Is Green" Honestly i don't even wanna describe this one you just have to read it. I promise it's worth it.

"CALL IT BLACKSTAR, CALL IT PAINSTAR" OH MY FUCKING GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD IF YOU'RE A POLYHORNETS HAND READ THIS IMMEDIATELY HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT OH MY GOD

"Never Write Lovesongs On The Ukulele" Collection of vignettes of Tim reminding Jay that he's in love with him. love

"To Cut The Taste" Very Early in the hotel hopping days, basically just an awkward conversation Jay and Tim have about Tim's trip to a gas station

"For The Loneliest Blackout" Super trippy to read, very dream-like. Highschool (?) AU with t4t jam and a whoooooollleeeee lotta metaphors. or just one really long metaphor.

"scenes from a movie" god okay iw was looking for this one for like an hour oh my god. Of all the fics ive read this one honestly sticks with me a lot just because of how fucking cool the writing style is to me. I loveeeee vignettes so much and this is one of the longest vignette fics ive read. it's so so so sos o good please read it it has a happy ending

"Build Your Own Noodles" and "Potato Cakes" Both by the same author, both brim, both adorable pre-canon fluff.

"who took heroin, then sleeping pills, and who lies in an alabama hospital" TW for bug imagery and also mention of spider bites. Listen I have entomophobia and arachnophobia so anything with bugs freaks me the fuck out but this is really well done and honestly just the way that it's handled is so fucking fun to read.

The Lost Time series. theres only two stories and theyre both great. A little funky to read because it's, of course, about jay and tim losing time and forgetting stuff about each other. I think there's some?? implied sexual content??? but it's not explicit and otherwise i don't think there's any necessary warnings

"Patterns of Safety" Basically just Jay and Brian bonding over having OCD. I fucking looveeeeeee Same Brain type fics and also jay and brian both having OCD scratches my brain. No One In This Series is neurotypical

"Starting Over At The End Of The Line" Finally a multichapter fic. I promise I read things other than oneshots i promise. N E ways this is pretty much a polyhornets everyone lives AU featuring Brian's lovely gay aunts. You'll notice I commented on almost every chapter because i Love THis Fic SO Much

"No One's Ever Going To Treat You Right; You're Attracting The Wrong Kind" This one isn't a shipfic actually!!! It's sort of Tim's spiraling reaction to finding out what Jay's been hiding from him and the events that lead up to the meeting in the parking lot. The imagery is sooooo fucking good in this one, it's honestly kind of disconcerting the way it's written just because of how In-his-head Tim is the whole time. it's soooo fucking good it's so good.

"psalm 38:8" OKAY LAST ONE this is a great one to end with. It's pretty much just Jay's introspection on his own standing with religion and also hopeless pining that maybe isn't so hopeless after all.

OKAY THIS IS REALLY LONG NOW LOL I HOPE YOU ENJOY MY PERSONAL LIBRARY OF JAM FICS BC IM INSANE ABT THEM

[burnmyuncle]

mista. post 5 songs you really like. NOW. thank you

aw shit uhh 

There She Goes - The La’s: like so many other songs I wasn’t super hot on this the first time I heard it but it just stayed in my head and I decided to listen to it again and MAN I’m glad I did cause I feckin love it now. I love how it doesn’t have any verses, and the way he sings just everything, and there’s just something about the phrase “there she goes” really gets me. Idk this song just reminds me of someone I know and I love it (the song not the being reminded) so much!!!!

Needle in the Hay - Elliott Smith: I first heard this song, like probably many other younger cinephiles, in The Royal Tenebaums by Wes Anderson, and just damn what a powerful scene. Anyways, I love when the overdubbed guitar comes in playing the chords around 2 minutes in. And like so many other things I love it just makes me sad, there’s just like a rough beauty to this song if that makes sense, the lyrics are amazing. One of many great songs about heroin!

There Is a Light That Never Goes Out - The Smiths: omg where do I start with this one, I literally just listened to it for the first time like a day ago but I just instantly fell in love with it. As someone who’s a massive fan of The Smiths idk how I didn’t hear it earlier but better late than never yknow. ANYWAYS, GOD this song is just so good, like I’m sorry this isn’t very insightful commentary I just love it so much ;A;. The vocals are just ACE and the lyrics are phenomenal, whenever the chorus comes on I feel like crying cause it’s that beautiful, just listen to this song!

 Alison - Slowdive: man this song, so good. It’s got that trademark shoegaze feeling of sadness and nostalgia and all that good stuff. Also just gotta say if a good band has a song with a woman’s name as the title then it’s certified that it’s gonna be a banger. But yeah that applies to this song too. It just makes me feel this emotion I can’t really describe. The lyrics are great too, especially the choruses  “"Alison," I said, "We're sinking"/There's nothing here but that's okay/Outside your room, your sister's spinning/But she lies, tells me she's just fine/I guess she's out there somewhere”. 

Rattlesnakes - Lloyd Cole and The Commotions: THIS SONG IS SO GOOD! I heard it on spotify radio at like midnight or something and I liked it so much that I listened to it on loop for like 40 minutes straight, I just love this type of 80s british orchestral indie pop type music (kinda like some stuff off Ocean Rain by Echo and The Bunnymen [which is a fucking fantastic album I might add]). I love the vocals so much and the lyrics are just so, idk how to say you can just tell the singer is a reader. But like seriously I just love this song so much it’s unreal, I just absolutely adore poppy music when it’s done well, literally nothing like it imho. GO LISTEN TO THIS ONE TOO!!!!!!

[cognitosclowns]

your food asks always make me so happy SO WHAT DO YOU THINK THE GANG (and your robot husbands) FAVORITE CHRISTMAS-TIME TREATS??

AWE FUCK <3333 IM SO SOFT THIS IS ADORABLE

SFW BELOW

tw : food and baking mentions!! Also brief alcohol mention!!

WEEEE THIS IS GONNA BE FUN <333

Reagan

Christmas was never that big?? Like Rand wasn't a great cook it was usually just,, going out to eat, if anything.

<3 she really likes chocolates though - like specifically chocolate truffles? She always buys herself one of those big La Suissa chocolate box-bags to munch <33

OH HER FAVORITE IS HAZELNUT CHOCOLATES <333 she'd probably adore Ferrero Rocher <3

Brett

WHAT DOESN'T HE EAT DURING THE HOLIDAYS-

LISTEN BAKING IS HIS HAPPY PLACE <333 HE COLLECTS RECIPES AND BAKES CONSTANTLY.

plus then <333 his house smells like christmas, its fantastic <333 all the sugary goodness

if he had to pick, its gotta be a classic! Chocolate Chip Cookies <333 with these Big Chunks of dark + milk chocolate?? Like the cookies are MASSIVE and GOOEY and you feel full after eating like,, half of one BUT HE LOVES THEM <333

Gigi

MOUSSE CAKE, MACARONS, JUST,, ALL BAKED GOODS. Wheat and Butter and Sugar can never go wrong <33

She loves super dense, fudge-y desserts?? Like cake so dense and fluffy and buttery that it feels like your mouth is being cemented shut.

she has a tradition of stopping by this,, Small Bakery near where she used to live and buying WAY TOO MUCH LMAO.

She goes in for one, maybe two things and gets distracted because,, who can say no to fresh baked eclairs that just popped out of the oven <3

<3333 her favorite is this,, Super Dense Cheesecake?? She can feel her arteries closing up, its decadent. She coats it in Raspberry Sauce and Ganache and has never looked happier.

Glenn

<3333 you wouldn't guess it but he's very good at baking - as the youngest, he was too young for a long time to go out with his Siblings to their parties so instead he'd watch his mum cook!!

<3 usually its either pumpkin or sweet potato pie??? The farmers down the road always had them for cheap so his mum would snag a few for both christmas and halloween!!!

IF NOT THEN <333 yule log yule log he swears his mother used to put crack in there bc,, no matter what he does he can't make it taste the same as hers!!

he's also a sucker for cider <3 he purposefully stops by a local orchard to pick out apples and makes it himself!!!

Andre

TURKISH DELIGHTS <3333 some of his only happy memories of Christmas were when him and his siblings would make towers out of them while waiting for dinner to finish cooking <33

SO NOW HE JUST MUNCHES THEM DURING THE HOLIDAYS BC,, IT GIVES HIM THAT NICE COZY FEELING. No nuts or anything inside, just plain sugar-dusted Rosewater Turkish Delights <333

On that note he'd probably like any,, gummy candies. Like not specifically christmas but he'll absolutely be munching down on some Gummy Bears and Jellybeans during the holidays <33

Myc

I HC that he eats kinda like a Gelatinous Cube?? Like he just Shoves it into his orb hard enough and it,, pops through and disolves?? Not directly associated to this ask but,, Yknow lmao

<333 HARD CANDYYYYY. Especially like,,

this is one of the rare moments he'll swap into a human form to eat smth because,, the experience of shoving a bunch of Ribbon Hard Candy into his mouth and crunching is fantastic.

OH FUCK,, he'd totally love like,, Liquor Hard Candy?? <3333

JR

I don't know why but he strikes me as a Mincemeat Tart kinda guy?? Its the only thing that he goes out of his way to get during the holidays <33

Alternatively if he's feeling super nostalgic and wants to wallow in self pity, he'll go to that Dinner him and Rand used to go to.

Back before Rand got hitched, that was their christmas tradition?? They usually worked through the holiday season to get a leg up on Other Shadow Organizations and stuff but,,, after everything was finished up?? They'd head to the diner and order a Massive Cherry Pie to celebrate a good year. (yes JR always footed the bill but its still one of his last good memories of Rand)

AB

THIS IS ALL CONSIDERING HE UPGRADED HIS MOUTH TO BE ABLE TO TASTE OKAY? OKAY

he says he ''''''DoESn'T LiKe cAnDY''''' but he's still gonna get caught sneaking mints from the Sweets Bowl <3

ITS,, Cold-Sugary?? The flavor of mint is just <33 he adores mint and Christmastime means he's completely surrounded by it.

I love the idea of him having a massive sweet tooth but being too Prideful to admit it, so he just,,, steals baked goods and candies from ppl at random intervals. Little bastard <3

[garbage-eater144]

THE WARFSTACE AUTOMATED INTERVIEW CAPTIONS

i was chattin in the discord and some people said it was tough to understand some bits, obviouslt this is made by a fan (me) so it might have a couple errors here and there but ive checked through it quite a few times and it seems about as right as i can get it.

so !!SPOILERS AHEAD!! also @markiplier feel free to correct me if you see this thank u <3 The warfstache automated interview

Starting video captions

[Wilford] Well, that’s terrifying… one moment!

{mechanical whirring}

[Wilford] (frightened sound) marginally better… er worse… better? Worse. It’s much worse.

{mechanical whirring}

[Wilford] Ah! there we are. Welcome, pretend I remembered your name here, this is a pre-recorded message anyway, I would NOT want to be in the same building as that thing I tell you me. Anyway, thank you whoever you are for agreeing to test out the Warfstache automated interview automaton, or {yelling} WAIA for short. Let’s start off with some quick calibration. All you need to do is sit back, relax and listen for some numbers. Okay? Here we go.

[WAIA]- (phone dialing, dialup tone, windows error sound)

[WAIA]- (scary mechanical garbled noises, followed by a ding and celebratory trumpets.)

[wilford]- now what did you hear? Numbers? Good numbers. Keep in mind I have no idea what youre going to say due to the fact that, as I said before, this message is pre-recorded. But if you did hear something, now would be the time to speak up.

[wilford]- don’t be shy, I’m sure nothing bad will happen. I don’t know what you’re going to say but if it does happen it will happen and if it doesn’t happen it wont happen. Thats how deterministic reality works.

I Think I Heard Numbers!

[wilford] Thats great! Or bad, not really sure what you said, but I choose to remain positive and assume that you are still alive. which means our automated friend here is operating well within acceptable murder parameters. We’re one step closer to mass production! THE WORLD DEMANDS MORE INTERVIEWS! And I cant be everywhere at once all the time, only some of the time! Even you might land an interview some day! Maybe, probably not, depends on how these next few minutes go. On to the next test! Word association! The fundamental basis of any good interview is getting the goods out of those stubborn interview-ees. The WAIA will say a word and you just say back the first thing that pops into your little head! Simple! Right? probably. Good luck!

{mechanical whirring}

[WAIA]- initializing word association training protocol round 1

{scary mechanincal noises} [WAIA]- Please respond. [WAIA] Sorry, I didnt get that. Round 2. {yet more scary mechanical noise}

[WAIA]- please respond.

[WAIA]- response unclear, increasing aggression

{clicking and mechanical sounds}

[WAIA]- round 3. {increasingly threatening mechanical noise} [WAIA]- Please respond.

[WAIA]-5 [WAIA]-4 [WAIA]-3 [WAIA]-2

Sounded like nightmare garbage to me…

[WAIA]- {mechanical ah?} {clicking}

[Wilford]- oh I forgot to mention, please do not say the word nightmare, or uh garbage, or nightmare garbage, or any combination of those words, the WAIA is just a little bit sensitive Yknow, a little touchy feely. Well not really touchy feely.. we-well actually REALLY touchy feely depending on your definition of touch and feely. Its really gonna-

[WAIA]- {jumpscare sounds} [WAIA] I. tell. you. me.

But you didn’t say anything…

[WAIA]- 1

[WAIA]-response unclear. Increasing aggression.

{ding sound effect} [WAIA]- {jumpscare noise}

[WAIA]- it. was. an. accident.

Uh… potato salad?

[WAIA]- 1

[WAIA]- response accepted

{ding followed by triumphant trumpets}

[WAIA]- word association raining protocol compl-{mechanical freakout eeeeeete}

[Wilford]- most dearest next of kin, I regret to inform you, that your dearly beloved and/or most despised has regrettably but not unexpectedly become recently deceased in the line of duty. Be confident in the knowledge that their demise was just as likely to be quick and painless as it was slow and agonizing. Please do not respond to this voicemail as the number has already been disconnected. {clears throat} alright that should do it for the… death scenario, now onto ah, er, uh, the survivors {mumbling}. Wow! Potato salad. A real thinker, you. But the test has been passed with flying colors and you’re still alive! And speaking of flying colors, our next test is about something called, uh… synthetic linguistics? That sounds made up. but the point is you cant have a good interview is the WAIA isn’t able to conjure up the right words in the right situations. So our friend is going to fire off some random words and you just try to spot anything that doesn’t make any sense. Alright? Although, pretty much everything isn’t going to make sense because its all random words….. errrr I BELIEVE IN YOU!!! {mechanical sounds}

[WAIA]- initializing speech training protocol round 1.

[WAIA]- yes. no. maybe. left. right. Up. down. D o w n. B a s e m e n t.

{windows error tone} [WAIA]- Rewrite Detected {tape rewinding sound}

[WAIA]- who. Where. what. Am. i.

{windows error tone}

{tape rewinding sound}

[WAIA]- green. blue. Yellow. pink. Red.

{scary mechanical noise}

[WAIA]- I saw you die

[WAIA]-{error, but garbled and mechanical}

[WAIA]- {with a different voice} potato salad

[WAIA]- speech training protocol complete

{mechanical noises}

[Wilford]- so how’d it go?? Did you hear anything weird? Dont be shy, or do, or are- are you alive? Are they alive?

[wilford]- I didnt kill them! I dont know if theyre dead! im just asking!!! Cant a man ask if someones alive or dead?!?! {frustrated ugh}

Yeah, I’m dead.

[Wilford]- hellooooo are you alive down there? Give me a sign… through the multiverse!!! Ah why am I even bothering, but how can I tell if you’re dead… hmmm ah…. I’ll flip a coin! I’ll flip a coin..

{coin flip sounds} [Wilford]- ah! Its heads I didn’t call it in the air… what’s heads mean.. ahhh uhhh heads is dead? [WAIA]-{jumscare noises}

[WAIA]- theres. still. time.

He said… potato salad?

[Wilford]- huh, potato salad again. That’s weird, it must’ve really stuck in his head when you first said that, I’m guessing. I don’t know what you said before because as I said, this is {sing-songy} pre- recorded! [WAIA] {mechanical aaaa}

[wilford] er, well I think thats all the calibration that needs to be done… for now anyway. All systems are likely nominal at this point unless im speaking to a pile of quivering meat thats been robotically smooshed into the floor… either way we’re gonna take this bad boy for a spin with a full on interview! A mock interview mind you, don’t get too excited, it’s not real. But theres no reason to wait around for the WAIA to get bored so let’s keep it nice and limber while you sit back and get ready for the interview of your life! And maybe the last one too. Have fun!!

{mechanical clicking and whirring}

{newsroom music} [WAIA]- good evening ladies and gentle men and all other considerations of being. My name is wilford warfstache and my guest tonight is {spooky robot sound} we have a great show for you tonight. first question: how many people have you killed? [WAIA]- good answer! Second question:

{robot sounds}

[WAIA]- a man goes to a party. This man met an old friend. There, two friends shared some wine. The two friends played a game. The most dangerous game. I didn’t know the gun was loaded. I didn’t know. Was it my fault?

YES

[WAIA]- ah, sorry for everything that I’ve done. I don’t remember who I was, I wish I did. But, I am sorry.

[WAIA]- potato salad

{triumphant trumpets}

[WAIA]- great answer! That was a titiliting interview for sure but we are out of time. Thank you for joining me tonight. Say ing good bye

[wilford]- oh the emotions! The passion! The fuuury. He’s just like me! My sweet baby boy! Well he should be anyway, hes a perfect scan of my noggin, so he better be a chip off the ol block. Hey you! Oh-ho What a supporting role!! Fantastic I guess. So much that you’re alive, but I am grateful whether you’ve been torn to shreds or are merely drowning in your own tears! Magnificent! And now that testing is done we can finally bring this monstrosity to the main stage! Im sure you’ll be seeing a lot more of the WAIA soon. Very very soon. Now get out~ and I’m billing you for any blood you got on my robot! Have a nice day! Ta-ta.

{mechanical clicking}

NO

[WAIA]- you can’t change the past, you can tell all the stories you want to tell, it wont change what happened. You cant re-light the past. if you live in fantasy forever, you’ll lose yourself in the story.

[WAIA]- potato salad

{triumphant trumpets}

[WAIA]- great answer! That was a titiliting interview for sure but we are out of time. Thank you for joining me tonight. Say ing good bye

[wilford]- oh the emotions! The passion! The fuuury. He’s just like me! My sweet baby boy! Well he should be anyway, hes a perfect scan of my noggin, so he better be a chip off the ol block. Hey you! Oh-ho What a supporting role!! Fantastic, I guess. So much that you’re alive, but I am grateful whether you’ve been torn to shreds or are merely drowning in your own tears! Magnificent! And now that testing is done we can finally bring this monstrosity to the main stage! Im sure you’ll be seeing a lot more of the WAIA soon. Very very soon. Now get out~ and I’m billing you for any blood you got on my robot! Have a nice day! Ta-ta.

{mechanical clicking}

[shipskicksandgiggles]

Title: Pattern Recognition and Remembrance

Pairing(s): Harley Keener x Peter Parker, background Flash Thompson x Harry Osborn

Summary: When Peter doesn't want to deal with his ex-boyfriend, he recruits Harley to stand in as his boyfriend despite any misgiving they might have about the plan. Neither of them anticipated a dinner date and chances that are too slim to even be considered a possibility, or the potential to unveil the truth

Warnings: ableist language, mental illness

A/N: hello and good morning ladies and gentlethems! it hit me a couple of weeks ago that I was about to hit two major milestones around the same time, which wow, okay, um thank you? holy fuck. this is my 100th fic, and it’s also a celebration of my 250 follower on tumblr. thank you all so much for sticking with me for this long, holy shit

AO3 Link: here or in the title

~~~

Was somebody…? No, there was no way anybody was yelling his name. Harley had texted him three minutes ago to tell him he was already inside with Peter’s coffee order, and he wasn’t planning on meeting anyone else today.

He ignored it and kept moving. Peter was a fairly common name. It was probably nothing.

It was not nothing.

A familiar head of slicked back blonde hair fell into step with him a little too easily.

“Peter! I thought that was you.”

The coffee shop was 30 feet away. He couldn’t have made it another 30 feet?

“Harry, hi,” he said lamely

“Hey, listen, I was just about to go get coffee if you wanted to join me? We could catch up for old times sake.”

He could see Harley in the window, sitting on his usual couch with his phone in his hand. Twenty feet.

“I mean, I’m already meeting someone, so-”

“Oh, that’s fantastic! You know I loved your friends back when we were together.”

Fifteen feet. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea.” He was going to regret this. Harley was going to kill him. “We’re not just friends.”

Harry stopped in his tracks. They were 10 feet from the door. “Well then I won’t stay long, but you have to introduce me to my replacement.”

Peter resisted the urge to roll his eyes. This is why he broke up with the pretentious son of a bitch. Honestly, what a fucking narcissist. “Fine.”

He did not think this through.

~~~

Harley glanced out the window and saw Peter stopped and talking to someone. That wasn’t out of the ordinary. Peter was a polite person who stopped to talk to people sometimes.

That being said, even from a distance, Peter looked uncomfortable.

They walked in together, and Peter waved the guy off so he could sit down.

“Who was that?”

Peter slid into the seat next to him instead of across from him. “You’re my boyfriend now.”

Well that was definitely weird. “I’m not kissing you.”

“Fair, but that’s my ex and I don’t want to deal with him so you’re my boyfriend now. Be nice and hopefully he’ll leave. Oh, coffee!” Peter swiped the mug off the table and held it close to his face.

“Brown sugar, no cinnamon, just the way you like it.”

He smiled gratefully. “Is leaning on you okay?”

“Sure,” he said as he slung an arm around Peter’s shoulder. “Just no, yknow…”

“Bodily fluids are gross and not to be dealt with,” Peter said. “Don’t worry, I got it.”

Harley sighed. “Alright. We can deal with this bastard, but then I need to complain about this week’s explosions.”

Peter laughed, and it shook both of their frames. “Looking forward to it.”

Moments later, the guy Peter had been talking to walked up to where they were sitting. “My congratulations to the happy couple.”

He took the man in. Fancy suit, enough hair gel that it could almost certainly fix the greasing problem on one of his engines, and a smile sharp enough cut steel.

Two could play at that game.

Harley returned with an unfriendly smile of his own. It was the one he perfected for reporters, but it was also a great mask for his anxiety. “I’d say thank you, but I don’t believe I know who you are.”

The guy held out his hand to Harley. “Harry Osborn, Peter’s ex-boyfriend. I’m shocked he hasn’t mentioned me.”

His gaze flitted over Harry once more before he spoke to Peter. “Was this the one that tried to use you as arm candy to get attention from other men or the one that tried to take the credit for all your work in the biomechanics field?”

Harry made an offended noise when Peter snickered. “Nope, try again.”

“The one who wanted you to be his trophy husband?” he guessed. Peter didn’t deny it. “You sure knew how to pick ‘em, darlin’.” He turned back to Harry whose face had gone unnaturally red. His arm was still extended, and it occurred to Harley that he should have shaken his hand a while ago. “Oh, sorry. I don’t really do the whole handshake thing. Did you know they say it transfers more germs than kissing does?”

He dropped the hand and drew in a deep breath. “I don’t believe I caught your name Mr…”

“Keener. Harley Keener.”

It wasn’t unusual for people to recognize his name. He worked closely with some of the most famous business people in the world. Not that he’d ever admit it, but he loved the reactions he got when he introduced himself.

“Not the tech genius?”

Harley’s smirk was decidedly smug. “What can I say?” He splayed his hands palm up as best he could with Peter pressing into his left side and grounding him to the present.

“Your work almost cost me a fortune!”

That… was not the typical reaction he usually got. He felt himself tense up. Peter held onto his hand and began rubbing circles into his palm. There was only so much he could do to look relaxed, but he did it all the time. Only Peter would be able to notice the strain in his shoulders.

“I’m sorry?” He knew the name Osborn obviously. Norman Osborn was Tony’s rival. He didn’t remember a Harry Osborn.

“Your engine project last year nearly cost me and my father billions!”

Father? “You’re Norman Osborn’s kid?”

“Yes!”

“Oh. I don’t know why I didn’t know that. My apologies for almost costing you billions. Whatever would you have done without such a ridiculous amount of money?” he deadpanned.

Harry was clearly fuming, and Peter had turned his face into Harley’s shoulder to hide his laughter.

“I’m of the belief that machinery should be built to last. That was why we took on the project in the first place. Hurting your father’s company wasn’t the goal.”

“You’re quite the philanthropist, aren’t you?”

“I learned from the best.” Tony had been a wonderful mentor in more ways than one. “Listen, Harry, I believe we may have gotten off on the wrong foot. Clearly we’re not so different if we’re both major players in the tech field who happen to have amazing taste in men.”

Peter lifted his head and scrunched up his nose at him. “Disgusting.”

“Just tellin’ the truth, babe. You’re a catch, and I’m so goddamn lucky that you chose me.”

Someone cleared their throat. Right. Future arch-nemesis. He should probably deal with that.

“My point is, I’m sure we’d be great friends if we knew each other better. That being said, I understand that you’re incredibly busy, so I won’t be the one to keep you from your responsibilities with idle chatter.”

Harry checked his watch (because apparently he wears an actual watch), and nodded. “As much as I would love to stay, you’re right, I should be going. I hope we have the chance to meet again, Harley. Peter.” He nodded and picked his travel mug up off the table before he walked out of the shop.

Once he disappeared around the corner, Peter let out a shuddery breath.

“Jesus Christ, you dated him?” Harley huffed.

Peter groaned. “I know, I regret it all the time. It was before we met.” He nudged Harley’s arm so he could get up and sit in the chair Harry had recently vacated. “Thank you for that, by the way. I think he bought it. Now, tell me who blew what up in the lab this week.”

~~~

“He didn’t buy it.”

Peter burst into his office and flopped the chair opposite him.

Harley was about 10 pages deep into a far too complex contract Pepper wanted him to look over, and he understood why Tony hated all this shit. His brain had felt like mush since page three. “Run that by me one more time.”

“Harry. He didn’t buy it. Us.”

He fiddled with his pen, and Peter sighed before leaning forward and taking it out of his hand, replacing it with his marble fidget. “We need to get you a pen that won’t explode when you do that.”

“Yeah, I’ll think about it.” It took him a minute to realize that Peter had continued speaking. “Sorry, can you repeat that?”

The way Peter didn’t question him before restarting made his chest feel tight. “Remember Harry? My asshole of an ex who ambushed us at the coffee place last week?”

“Unfortunately,” he grumbled. “Why?”

“I don’t think he bought that we were together.”

“We’re not together,” Harley pointed out. “Why does it matter what he thinks? Also, how do you know?”

“Okay, first of all, the point was for him to think we were- are- together so I don’t have to deal with him. And technically it doesn’t matter, I'm just annoyed.”

“And you know this because…?”

“He texted me to ask us out to dinner.”

“He… asked us out?”

Peter chuckled. “Oh, you sweet boy. No, not like that. Harry used to have this tactic he would use to get information out of someone where he’d take them to dinner, typically a one-on-one thing where he could really get under their skin and analyze their reactions. This would be a double date. He’s sizing us up so he can call bullshit.”

“That’s inconvenient. What’ll he do if we say no?”

“He’ll call bullshit.”

“Ugh.”

“You can say that again.”

“So I have to fake-date you for a dinner? We can pull it off.”

He nodded. “We have more time to establish boundaries and shit too, so we’ll be more prepared.”

“Great, just give me a time and a place. I’m cooking tonight if you want to come over and talk more about it then.”

“Sounds good. Just remember-”

“No cinnamon, no mint, and you have a tree nut allergy. Don’t worry, I remember.”

“6 p.m. Keener, no funny business.”

“Never, Mr. Parker.”

Peter set his pen back on the desk. “It’s a date then. I’m getting you a fidget pen.”

Harley nodded. “I’d appreciate it. Now get the hell out of my office.”

He went to leave, standing off to the side to let Tony in, ignoring his audible confusion about whether or not he’d heard Peter say the word ‘date’ or not.

“Can it, old man. What’s going on?”

~~~

Peter was sitting on a bar stool in his kitchen while Harley stood over the stove. “So I have a question.”

“Shoot.”

“You’re really okay with this?”

He stopped where he was stirring a pot. “I mean, yeah? Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Well, I kind of shoved this on you out of the blue because I didn’t want to deal with a guy and now it’s a whole thing. You don’t seem super upset by it, so I wanted to check and make sure that I didn’t miss something.”

“You know I’m physically incapable of hiding whether or not I’m not okay with something, right? Trust me, you’re fine.”

“Promise me you’ll tell me if anything changes.”

“I promise. Stop worrying and come hold this for me. What do you think gave us away?”

Peter took the pan from him. “No clue.”

“Not one?”

“Well, it was a short conversation, and other than you having my coffee order and calling me ‘babe’, there was no real indicator that we were a couple.”

“You were leaning into my side,” Harley argued.

“I’m a tactile person. He dated me, so he knows that,” Peter countered. “I’d do that with any of my friends.”

“In public?”

“Depends on the circumstances. Anyways, he knew me and would assume that the same rules apply. My lines blur when it comes to romantic and platonic affection.”

“Can’t we just tell him that heavy PDA makes me uncomfortable? It’s technically the truth, and you’ve always been respectful of people’s boundaries.”

“Could work.” He handed Harley the pan when he reached for it. “My question is how far will you go as far as public affection?”

Harley shrugged. “Everything you did before was fine. General leaning into me, hand holding, shit like that is great honestly.”

“Want me to wear a spinner ring?”

“And your ex doesn’t think we’re dating? You know me better than I do, babe. Maybe he thinks we’re married and wants to celebrate with us.”

Peter rolled his eyes, but Harley didn’t miss the smile he was trying to suppress. “You don’t wear rings,” he pointed out.

“I could wear one on a chain. Can’t have my wedding band getting caught in machine parts.”

“It’s up to you if you want to take it that far,” Peter told him.

“It’s not like I’m super well known, but I think it would be common knowledge if I was married,” Harley reasoned. “Still, if you don’t mind wearing a spinner it would give me more of a reason to hold your hand.”

“You got it. If he questions it we can just as easily pass it off as a commitment ring. Private, personal, ours.”

Harley ran a hand through Peter’s hair and handed him a plate. “There’s my genius. Help me set the table please.”

They do so in relative silence, only speaking to say ‘thank you’ or ‘excuse me’, all the while working their way through the yes’s and no’s of touches.

Small of either of their backs? Fine.

Harley’s ass? Not so much.

“Why would you need to touch my ass anyways?”

“Dude, have you seen your ass? I respect your choices, but it’s an obvious target area.”

“In public?”

He shrugged.

“You have extremely questionable taste in men.”

Peter acquiesced the point. “Let’s pray that you don’t add to that list, huh darling?”

“Mm-mm, no, ‘darlin’’ is my thing, sweetheart.”

“Alright then, dear.”

He narrowed his eyes. “I have many regrets.”

Peter just laughed at him. “Pet names are good though?”

“Oh, yeah definitely.”

Dinner went fine since it was more of a practice run than anything, but it was easier than Harley had expected it to be. Even curling up on the couch to watch a movie afterwards felt more natural than most things had in years. It wasn’t strictly necessary, but he found he didn’t care that much when Peter’s legs were layered on top of his, and his steady warmth settled on Harley’s chest.

When Peter decided to head out, Harley actually startled awake.

“Aww baby, did you fall asleep?” Peter cooed. “Adorable.”

“Shut up,” he grumbled. “Let me walk you to your car.”

“You don’t have to-”

“No, I’m doing it.” He found Peter’s jacket and helped him put it on before grabbing his keys and opening the door.

Peter shook his head. “Such a gentleman.”

“I have to blow all your exes out of the water, don’t I? Gotta start somewhere.”

Peter rolled his eyes, but he didn’t respond until they made it to the parking garage. “This is me.”

“Your car is over there. I’m walking with you the whole way.”

“You don’t have to-”

“Peter, I came all the way down here. I’m not just going to abandon you a few yards away from your destination.”

“You’re too much.” They made it to the car, and Peter went to open the driver’s side door, but Harley snagged his arm.

“Hold on.”

His forehead creased with worry. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, just. I want to try something.”

“Sure, what?”

Harley took a deep breath to steel himself, and bent down ever so slightly to brush a light kiss just above his cheekbone. “Wanted to see if I could do that.”

“What’s the verdict?”

“It’s different.”

“Good different or bad different?”

“Good I think.”

“Do you want me to reciprocate?”

He considered it. “Not… yet.”

“How about this?” He rested his palm against Harley’s face, and he couldn’t help but lean into it. Peter laughed. “Yes?”

“Definitely.”

Peter tucked a piece of hair behind Harley’s ear. “We’ve got this.”

“Text me when and where we’re meeting the bastard.”

“You bet. Night, Harles.”

“Night. See you tomorrow, Peter.”

Harley watched as he drove off, still feeling the lingering drag of Peter’s thumb under his eye. It scared him how easy it was.

From Harley: hey, what the the fuck do feelings feel like?

From Ned: motherfucker are you Okay?

From Harley: jury’s out

From MJ: aren’t you with Peter? ask him

From Harley: he just left

From MJ: then why are you asking us?

From MJ: unless…

From Ned: unless what?

From Ned: oh

From Ned: OH

From Ned: haha loser good luck

From Harley: …

From Harley: I hate you both

~~~

“And you have no idea who he’s bringing?” Harley asked as they stepped over the threshold of the restaurant.

They’d been here before, which was good because it was familiar, but it was still crowded. Someone had taken their coats at the door and handed them a ticket so they’d be able to retrieve them later. Now they were just waiting to confirm that Harry and his date were already there before they found a table.

Peter kept a secure grip on his hand. “No, but apparently they’re actually together so that should be fun. Can’t wait to see what kind of person they are.”

Harley peered further into the restaurant. “Oh no.”

“What? What’s wrong?” Peter scanned the floor. “Oh no.”

“Why did you say ‘oh no’?”

“Clearly he stalked me or something just so he could bring the one person that might get on my nerves during this dinner. Wait, why did you say ‘oh no’?”

He just stared at him like he was insane. “I was going to say he stalked me just to throw me off-balance. That’s my ex-boyfriend.”

“You dated him?” Oh that was not good.

“And you know him too?” Harley looked unbelievably confused.

Peter could empathize. “This is going to be a nightmare.”

They walked towards where Harry and his partner were already sitting down. He stood to greet them.

“It’s good to see you both again! Peter, Harley this is my partner-”

“Hey Gene. Long time, no see.”

Harry did a full body pause. “I’m sorry, have you met?”

Eugene Thompson stared at them in shock. He turned to face Harry. “Honey, I would have liked a heads up that you were bringing my ex-boyfriend to dinner along with a guy I went to highschool with.”

“Thompson.”

“Parker.”

“The chances of that happening cannot be good.”

There was no way in hell this would go smoothly.

Harley sat down. “Have you ordered your drinks, gentlemen?”

~~~

The chances of Harley’s last boyfriend showing up to dinner with Peter’s ex was way too small to even consider, and by the looks of it, Osborn hadn’t even planned it.

“So you’re telling me that this guy is the reason you have that scar on your thigh?” Harry was asking Gene.

It was good to see him again after all these years, but talk about a cosmic joke.

“Actually-” Harley started.

“No, no, you knocked me into that machine. Admit it!” Gene laughed.

“I was distracted! There was no reason for you to be in the mechanical engineering lab in the first place,” Harley defended.

“You’re telling me I wasn’t allowed to visit my boyfriend when he was working?”

“That’s not what I said-”

“But it’s what you meant, right?”

“I should never have gone out with you,” he announced.

Peter was laughing so hard he snorted. “How did we never realize that you went out with someone I used to know?”

Harley shook his head, mystified. “I’m sure it came up at least once. Like come on, I know I’ve mentioned the Cemetery Incident.”

“You never told me what happened!” He burst out into a whole new set of giggles. “I can’t believe the guy that was my biggest competition in high school is the reason you can’t look at a grave marker without blushing so hard you give yourself heart problems.”

“What was the Cemetery Incident?” Harry butted in.

“We don’t talk about it,” Harley and Gene answered at the same time. They grinned at each other, and Peter covered his smile with his drink.

He’d linked his ankle around Harley’s when his leg had started bouncing. Now he was letting him hold his hand while Harley toyed with the spinner on his ring.

Harry hadn’t missed it, and it didn’t look like he’d missed the lack of jewelry on Harley’s hands either. He just held on tighter, and Peter reciprocated with a quick squeeze. They were okay.

“Don’t tell me you caused any of his scars,” he motioned towards Peter.

He didn’t say anything.

“Oh my god, you did?”

“Ask him.” He refused to make eye contact with any of them.

“Do you still have yours?” Gene returned.

“Is it the collarbone scar?” Harley asked in awe. “It’s the only one he never explained to me and I always wondered.”

Gene nodded. “Lab accident. It’s a matched set. Mine’s under my jaw.”

“Closest we ever got to sex,” Peter sent a wink at Gene that had Harry nearly spitting out his water.

“I called you Penis Parker every time I saw you for five years, and you consider making a permanent mark on my neck the closest we got to sex?”

“Dinner table!” Harley admonished.

Their waiter came to let them know their food would be out soon. He had the tact to not seem perturbed by the parts of their conversation he overheard.

The interruption gave Harley an opening to excuse himself. He grazed a kiss over Peter’s knuckles and felt him slip something into his hand. “Be right back.”

He examined the object as he walked towards the bathroom. His earbuds. He popped them in and flipped to his favorite playlist, revelling in the peace that coursed through him.

The bathrooms were single-stalled, so he didn’t feel awkward about closing his eyes and shaking the stress out of his body. He wasn’t back to 100%, but the tension was bleeding away from his shoulders, and his head hurt less.

When Peter had found the time to grab his earbuds, he had no idea, but Harley made a mental note to thank him later.

After rinsing off his hands and drying them on the rough towel, he opened the door to reveal Gene standing behind it. His eyes widened.

Neither of them moved for a split second before Gene walked towards him, and Harley had no choice but to back into the small room.

“I assume you have questions.” He stopped the music and put away the earbuds so he could give him his full attention.

“Are you okay?” Gene asked as he gave him a visual once-over, checking for bruises or wiretaps or evidence of body snatchers, Harley supposed.

“I’m fine.”

“Did he coerce you somehow? Blackmail? Threats maybe?”

He shook his head. “No, none of that.”

“Harley, I don’t care that the two of us called a truce at our graduation ceremony. If he is hurting you or making you uncomfortable-”

“Genie,” he said softly. “He’s good. We’re good. I took your advice, did some research, got some answers. It took a long time, but I’ve got my head screwed on as straight as it can be. Peter-” he hesitated “-Peter’s the best thing that ever happened to me.” It was the truth. As a co-worker, a friend, whatever this was, Peter was amazing. He fiddled with the case in his hands, wishing like anything that it was Peter’s hands with the spinner ring Harley liked so much. “I love him,” he said simply.

“I can tell,” Gene smiled. “I’m proud of you.”

“We should have stayed in touch. Maybe this wouldn’t have happened.” Their relationship hadn’t ended terribly. It had just been a bad time for both of them.

“Oh no, I am thoroughly enjoying torturing my boyfriend. Not that I don’t love him, but I’ve never seen him at a loss for words before, and it is the funniest thing I’ve witnessed in months.”

“And he’s treating you well? Not for nothing, but sometimes he seems…”

“Standoffish? Like a little bit of a dick?” Gene suggested. “Everybody thinks that. You just gotta get past that corporate shell and he’s a massive dork. A lot like someone else I know, actually.” He gave Harley a look.

“That’s low, Genie, and you know it.”

“I’m right.” He washed his own hands and pitched the paper towel into the trash can. “You’re sure you’re good?”

“Never better.” Harley held open the door, and they chatted as they walked back to the table where Harry and Peter were arguing loudly.

Harley caught snippets of ‘-not right!’ and ‘he’s not-’ from halfway across the room. He sent Gene a worried look, and he seemed to have the same reaction. Whatever was happening, it wasn’t good.

~~~

“I’m just saying if you really are together, the way he treats you leads me to believe that he is severely fucked in the head!”

Before Peter was able to say anything, his eyes snapped to Harley’s from over Harry’s shoulder. His expression was clouded, dark, and Peter wanted nothing more than to comfort him in that moment. Harry still hadn’t noticed him coming up behind him.

“Not that it’s any of your fucking business,” Harley growled, “but I’m autistic.”

Harry whirled in his seat, taken aback by his sudden presence.

“If the way my partner chooses to respect my boundaries makes you uncomfortable, remember that we were not the ones who asked you out to dinner. We didn’t have to be here, and we can leave at any time. So, we can either continue this dinner in relative peace and then go our separate ways like adults, or we can turn this into a whole thing. I will tell you which option I prefer, and it is not the second one.”

Peter could see him shaking, so he got up and walked around the table to rest a hand on Harley’s back. He slumped into him with a sigh, and allowed himself to be guided back around to his chair.

“Thank you,” he whispered so only Peter could hear.

He nodded minutely and held out his hand for Harley to hold onto if he wanted it. Harley flipped it over and started tracing the lines on his palm.

The table was silent as the waiter set down their plates. Peter thanked him quietly, and carefully extracted the appendage from Harley’s grasp.

“I’m sorry,” Harry said honestly.

Harley nodded.

“That wasn’t okay. What I said was inappropriate. It’s your business what you do with your partner.”

Flash had moved his chair away from him, Peter noticed, and was sending him looks of disgust.

Harley still didn’t say anything.

“Hey,” Peter nudged his side. “Do you want to leave?”

He shook his head.

“Are you just out of words?” If he’d gone non-verbal, Peter wouldn’t blame him.

The apologetic half-smile he gave was enough of an answer.

“Okay. Earbuds?”

His brow furrowed, but after a moment he shook his head again.

Peter nodded and turned back to his food. He’d lost his appetite, but he needed to do something to keep himself from lashing out. That wouldn’t help anybody.

None of them wanted to break the delicate silence. The waiter came by a few more times to make sure the food was to their liking, offer dessert, and drop off their checks.

Harley tried to snag theirs, but Peter got to it first. Their waiter returned shortly as if he could feel the stilted atmosphere.

“See if you can’t find where they put our coats, won’t you love?” Peter asked.

At the same time, he heard Flash say something to Harry about getting a car. Once they had both disappeared, Peter let his head fall to the table with a thud.

“Oh yeah. That about sums it up,” Flash remarked.

He lifted his head to give him a withering stare.

“I’m glad he figured everything out. Back in college, I kind of had a feeling. Tried to push him towards resources.”

“Everything he’s told me about your relationship has been overwhelmingly positive, just so you know. I never made the connection, but the way he talked about you- you did what was best for him. You helped him more than you know.”

Flash nodded. “You’re good for him.”

“I try.” He knew his natural smile was too fond to be platonic, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. “I do have one question though.”

“Oh god.”

“Gene?”

He snorted. “Flash was too high school, I guess. College gave me a chance to rebrand, reset with an identity I could be proud of, like a blank slate. Most people called me Eugene, but Harley- Does he still do the cute little nose scrunch thing? Because he did that and just went ‘No’, and started calling me Gene.”

“God, I love the nose scrunch thing.” He was right, it was absolutely adorable. And that story sounded like Harley alright. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“You changed his life, and mine too technically. I always wanted to meet the man that was strong enough to get through to his stubborn ass. I didn’t realize I already had.”

Gene shifted on his feet. “I loved him.”

Before Peter could think the better of it, he pulled him into a hug. “I know you did.”

They stayed like for a minute until Gene pushed himself back. “God I can’t believe we’re back on the same team,” he sniffed and glanced up at the ceiling.

“Do you have my number? I feel like if we’re on the same team, we should at least be friends this time around.”

He didn’t. They swapped phones and typed in their respective contact information.

“Call me if you want to gang up on your guy,” Peter told him.

“Same goes for yours,” Gene said.

Someone cleared their throat. Harley held up their jackets, and Peter took his and shrugged it on. Reaching up to smooth Harley’s lapels made his heart stutter in his chest, especially when Harley placed a light kiss on his hairline.

“Ready to go?”

A hand threaded through his, and he felt the familiar rotation of the spinner against his finger.

He waved to Gene, and Harley mimicked the action. “See you around.”

“Take care of yourselves, alright?”

Peter nodded once before letting Harley lead them out of the building. They saw Harry standing outside, and he raised a hand to say goodbye which they returned before heading in the opposite direction.

“Do you want to go home?”

Harley didn’t show any signs that he heard him, he just kept walking as if he had a destination in mind, which apparently he did. He dragged Peter through the door of their favorite ice cream place.

“You want your usual?” Peter asked.

~~~

Peter made it up to the counter and ordered, accepting Harley’s lemon ice cream and his own blueberry cheesecake when they were handed to him. They paid and left and continued wading their way through the crowds of tourists. Ordinarily it might have been difficult to stay together, but it was getting chilly and there weren’t as many people around.

The sour bite of his ice cream softened his edges some. It didn’t necessarily make everything better, but when combined with the constant movement associated with walking, he felt some semblance of relief. Peter didn’t demand anything more from him either.

A few street musicians were still out. When they paused to throw out their cups, he spotted a girl- she looked like a teenager- playing a battered violin on the corner. By the looks of it, Peter saw her too.

“Wanna dance?” His own voice grated on him.

Peter startled when he spoke. “Sure.”

They made their way closer to the music, and Harley twirled Peter into him. He was unbelievably handsome. Had he ever seen Peter dress like this before? He’d seen Peter in everything from tuxes to pajamas, but never anything like this.

This is how he must dress to go on dates, he realized. The dress shirt sans tie, the pattern on his pants, and classic black loafers all layered under a mid length coat he only wore on special occasions. In fact the one thing he really recognized from his ensemble was the beanie he had pulled on until it just covered his ears.

He made Harley never want to look away even when the lights get too bright and it hurts.

“You’ve got your thinking face on, love,” Peter said. “I think your ears are about to start smoking.”

Harley opened his mouth to say something, but no words came out.

“Hey, I’m not asking you to talk about it if you don’t want to, but I wanted to make you aware of the dent you are going to make in your forehead if you’re not careful about that pout of yours.”

He laughed quietly. “I want to, I just-” he motioned with one of his hands. It was unclear who was leading, but it didn’t matter that much anyways.

“Buffering?”

“Yeah.”

A few minutes later, he finally found the words. “When did you grab my earbuds?”

His eyes widened and he ducked his head. “I um. I didn’t exactly grab them.”

“What?”

“I have a spare set,” Peter admitted. “I’ve been carrying them around since right after that conference in Ontario. You almost lost yours and I found a similar pair that I may or may not have recoded to respond to your phone even without a Bluetooth connection.”

“Why?”

Peter was avoiding making eye contact with him. “Just in case of emergencies, I guess.”

“No, I-” he sucked in a sharp breath and squeezed his eyes shut. “You do this… thing.”

“What?”

“The- the- the-” he guided Peter’s hand up and tapped the spinner. “This. The rings, the fidgets, you offer to buy me stim-friendly pens because I keep ruining my dress shirts with the ink from the standard ones I keep breaking. Now I find out you bought and recoded earbuds just in case I didn’t have mine on hand when I needed them. Why?”

“Do I need a reason?”

“Not everybody would do this kind of stuff.”

“Well good thing I’m me.”

They were standing still.

“That doesn’t answer my question.”

“Harley…” he sighed.

He dug in his pocket for his wallet to put some money in the girl’s violin case. “Keep up the good work, kid,” Harley said.

The only indication she gave that she heard was a small smile. He held out his arm for Peter to take, and started walking in the direction of his apartment building. It wasn't far away, thank goodness. He didn’t want to call a cab. They made it within 20 minutes.

“If you want me to leave-” Peter started

“Please stay,” Harley interrupted.

He nodded slowly. “Yeah, okay. I’ll stay.”

It was a quiet ride up. Once his door was unlocked, Peter beat him to the light switch and set them to dim.

Harley cocked his head. “And then there’s that. Are there any more of my habits that I should know about?”

Peter swatted at him. “Hush, I just so happen to pay attention once in a while.”

“I’d guess it was more than that.”

“I’m sorry, I can stop if it makes you uncomfortable. I just thought it would make life easier on you.”

“It does.” The little changes that Peter had brought about had been small, but no less mighty. He was half the reason Harley didn’t cry after board meetings as much as he used to.

“Oh.”

They were silent as they hung up their coats.

“You get hyper-verbal when you’re nervous,” Harley said quietly.

“Huh?”

“Or excited too. Whenever you have an extreme emotion you talk a lot. Your hands are always moving. I know that you wear a hat is because you compulsively run your hands through your hair and you think covering your head will stop you from doing it in public. You grind your teeth when you’re in meetings. I think it’s your anxiety, but I didn’t want to ask-”

“You don’t have to-”

“Goddamn it, Peter, I’m trying to say something here.”

He shut up.

Back when they’d first met, Harley had been a mess, and he’d be the first to admit it. He flinched at the sound of voices, and the ache behind his temples had stopped responding to ibuprofen. Peter had grated on his every last nerve, and Harley was snappish and unfriendly to him. The first time it hadn’t been like that, Peter had flown into the lab, a tornado of movement and incessant noise that Harley couldn’t not focus on.

It was a different frequency than all the other shit that pained him. That had been the first time Harley really laughed in front of him, and Peter had been so shocked that he came to a complete stop. Harley made fun of him until Peter was jabbing him right back and grinning when Harley matched him hit for hit. There were still days when he was insufferable, but never like it was before.

“You’re the only person I’m okay with coming into my office unannounced.”

“… what?”

“Everyone else knocks, or texts me before walking in. You don’t, and it’s fine because it’s you, and you don’t have to.”

“If you want me to, I can. You just had to ask-”

“Oh my god, stop. Just-” his hands flailed in frustration “-I don’t want you to. That’s a privilege you have around me because it’s you. You’ve always been different. I wouldn’t have done this for anyone else because I couldn’t imagine being with anyone else, no matter if it was fake or not.”

Peter didn’t say anything. The quiet was strange. Harley realized that he had probably crossed a line.

“You’re gonna hate yourself if you ruin the skin around your nails,” Peter commented. It sounded almost automatic.

Harley hadn’t even realized he’d been picking at his fingertips. He dropped them to his sides, itching to do something, anything, with his hands.

“You know, some of the shit I notice about you is stuff that anybody would be able to pick up on.” Peter stepped closer, enclosing Harley’s wrist in a loose grip. “The way you flap when you can’t express something, the broken pens, the lack of words post-any high stress situation. I would have been an idiot not to notice.”

He traced a line along Harley’s palm. “At first, I think it was curiosity,” Peter confessed. “I wanted to know what made you tick, no pun intended. You never stopped moving.

“Then I guess I started noticing your patterns. Leaving a room for 10 minutes and coming back more relaxed and always, always humming. Turning the lights off in your office after long meetings so you could close your eyes. An increase in lab hours logged in the days following conferences, and the resulting noise complaints from the floors above and below you. I wanted to make sure I wasn’t creating any more irritants, so I started mapping your habits and tried to help where I could.” He switched to Harley’s other hand.

“After that, I don’t know. We got closer. I learned about all your weird quirks like your taste in music, your secret obsession with low-budget horror movies, your dumbass sense of humor.

“I started making adjustments to my own life so that you’d have a place there. It’s ridiculous, but it hit me when you sent out that memo about replacing all the lights in the office so they had dimmers, and didn’t hum the way standard industrial lights do. I was so proud of you. My chest got all warm, and I think I might have cried a little. That’s when I knew I cared about you more than I ever intended to.”

Harley held onto him like a lifeline. “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me. The first person who didn’t look at me like I was a freak. And I don’t know how I didn’t realize sooner-“ he hung his head. “I don’t know how to make this work.”

“We can make this work because we make everything work. We’re geniuses, remember?” Peter tapped his head.

“But I won’t want- you know…”

“Then I won’t want it either,” Peter shrugged. “I want you, and I’m happy with whatever you want. Is it okay if I hug you though? You seem like you need a hug.”

He nodded. Peter wound his arms around his shoulders, and he sank into it immediately as he wrapped his arms around his waist, and buried his nose in the crook of Peter’s neck.

“Oh no, he’s clingy,” Peter said sarcastically.

“Mhmm. Gonna keep you here forever. Or at least for tonight if you’re up for it.”

Peter drew back and looked down at his clothes. “I can’t exactly say this would be optimal cuddle-wear.”

That was fair. “Someone left a pair of sweatpants and a shirt here last time everyone stayed the night,” Harley mentioned. “I don’t know if they’re yours, but they’re in the dresser of the guest bedroom if you want to take a look. If they don’t work, you can borrow something of mine.”

~~~

The good news was the pants were his. He walked across the hall into Harley’s room. “The shirt is MJ’s.” Something hit him in the face. One of Harley’s shirts. “Thanks.”

He went back to fold what he had worn on the date before changing into the loungewear. The shirt Harley gave him was worn to hell and clearly well loved. The letters reading Rose Hill High Angels’ Swim Team had faded and cracked over the years, but it was soft and warm and Peter loved it.

It fit loosely around his shoulders, but when the gentle scent of Harley’s laundry detergent overwhelmed him, he found he didn’t care all that much. He tucked the other clothes away carefully before going to knock on Harley’s doorframe.

Harley was lying propped up against some pillows with a remote in his hand, scrolling through various TV shows and movies. He paused when Peter entered, taking him in with a smile that he would dare to say was bordering on loving.

“How do you want me?” Peter asked.

“Preferably next to me, but wherever’s the most comfortable for you,” Harley told him. “Now this is important: what do you want to fall asleep to? We’ve got the classic options of documentaries, rom-coms, or Disney movies, the sort of out-there queue of sit-coms, action movies, trashy television, or game shows, and if you can pass out during a horror movie, I will be in awe of you but we will also have to reconsider this entire relationship.”

“Good thing I’ve never even been able to sit through a horror movie,” he laughed as he crawled under the covers and stole the remote out of Harley’s hand. “C’mon, I want to know what you watch in your spare time.”

“Oh god,” Harley muttered, turning to bury his head in Peter’s shoulder. “Fine, but you’re not allowed to make fun of me.”

“I always make fun of you, it’s my thing.” He clicked the home button and navigated to his watch list. “Really?”

“You’re not allowed to judge-”

“No wait, where are you? I haven’t watched this show in forever.”

He looked up at him confusedly. “You’re… not going to judge me?”

“Why would I judge you? Babe, Doctor Who is easily compatible with both Star Wars and Star Trek, it just doesn’t have the same level of cult following, or the word ‘star’ in the name. Now where the hell are you in the damn series?”

“... the War Doctor episodes.”

“Is it too early to say I love you?”

“I don’t think so. Are you gonna hit play or not?”

They fell asleep in a tangle of limbs. Harley’s arm was laying across Peter’s stomach, weighing him down, and Peter’s hand had somehow tangled itself in Harley’s hair.

“Just… no…” Harley mumbled sleepily.

“No bodily fluids,” Peter’s breath ghosted across his forehead. “I remember, don’t worry.”

He felt a surge of, well, something when Harley hummed and burrowed closer to him. It was the best night’s sleep he’d gotten in ages.

[greatshell-rider]

now that ive got 2 seasons of the white vault under my belt ive got Thoughts

- i did not have thoughts after season one because i wasn’t super impressed with it? listen, all the horror ive consumed is just tma and now this and tma has spoopy bits but white vault thus far hasn’t. been. scary? and i think it’s supposed to be? but it has not for me.

- which honestly is fine cuz white vault’s got other stuff i appreciate muchly. the diverse cast is so great! it really is cool to listen to a podcast that isn’t just american or british voice actors. i also am v grateful for the repeat of information/events in each ep, like there’ll be the audio recording but then there’ll be casner’s action report or someone writing a note that rehashs what just happened WHICH IS VERY NICE AND HELPFUL FOR A SILLLY LITTLE ME WITH AUDITORY PROCESSING ISSUES slfjsdlfjslfjsdfldslfjs me: wow i love podcasts! what a great media format to engage in! also me: zones out and hears nothing but gray noise until a character starts screaming and i have to go back 15 seconds to find out what attacked them

- i told myself going into this podcast i would not get attached to the story nor the characters and really i didn’t. i didn’t! i was not attached to anyone! until! graham casner got pulled into the cave fish pond and i realized rosa and jónas wouldn’t be able to get him out so he was probably dead and then i panicked. as the dude died i realized he was my favorite and nooooooooooo my favorite character cannot dieeeeeee sure it’s fine if everyone else does but noooooooooooooooooooo not himmmmmmmm GIVE HIM BACK

- i was very sad until the end of the s2 and it’s last line of “we found one of them” AND HOPE RETURNED. IF ANYONE REALLY DID SURVIVE IT WOULD EITHER BE ROSA OR GRAHAM. rosa’s a doctor, she can patch herself up, she’s dealt with messy experiences like this, (”like this”) and graham’s like. i mean like. it’s his job. yknow the shooting stuff and the survive thing. it’s his job to survive the arctic! also i feel like their deaths were the least “confirmed” out of the bunch. like i think the documentarian’s team found jónas as a pile of decomposing meat in the auxiliary bunker?? did i hear that right?? so i mean. considering that and the rest of the characters’ deaths . . . pspspspspspspspsp either rosa or graham

- last thought. i think the reason why graham’s my favorite (rosa’s a close second i think) is cuz that dude’s neurodivergent. his speech pattern/how he asks and answers questions, getting kinda snappy/annoyed when others kept demanding answers when he wasn’t finished explaining, how he kept writing action reports despite not being required to just as way to keep up routine/familiarity, how he runs operations/makes decisions kinda based off the rule book, knowing he had the bunker doors locked because that’s what he does, etc etc.

- also yeah peter lewis’s voice is fantastic what else is there to say

- okay real real last thought. i absorbed maybe half of all that the documentarian talked about in the last s2 ep but yeaaaaaaaaaaaa i am now intrigued in season three, consider me Attached

[pancake-man]

PRUMANO SECRET VALENTINE

My gift for @canadiatuxedo for @prumano-week‘s secret valentine!! I went with the prompts Bakery and Fantasy AU, which turned out less fantasy and more medieval times? Anyways, sorry it’s late, I really hope you like it!

AO3 link

The world is a vast place, and Gilbert had travelled the whole thing round three times before he stumbled on a town named Lumin. It was nestled in tall mountains, and so small it hardly deserved a name. Normally it wasn’t the sort of place Gilbert would stop at, but one does grow tired of large fantastical cities eventually, and so he decided to try his luck somewhere more… quaint.

(This was his excuse, anyways. What actually happened was that Gilbert ran out of money halfway to the great city of Aveni and the carriage he hitched a ride on had unceremoniously dropped him in the middle of nowhere and driven off without looking back. Gilbert was stuck there until he earned enough money to grab another ride, but who knew how long that would take in a town that relied more on trade than money)

A small town, Gilbert thought, was the perfect place to start his fortune. So he had set forth with nothing but the clothes on his back and his flute, eager to entertain the town with his beautiful voice, stories, and musical skill.

Now he sat on a fountain in the town square, exhausted from a day of playing his heart out. His poor flute seemed just as tired, sitting quietly on the stone beside him. In his cap he’d only received a few copper, not even enough to rent a room, let alone buy himself a ticket out.

As Gilbert began to reason a back-up plan, his nose picked up a smell drifting on the breeze. Rossinia has one main street with the town square, the church(which doubled as town hall), a small inn, and a small number of shops. Gilbert gathered his things and stood, following the scent to the bakery. He counted his coins. Four copper. Enough for a roll, at least. Maybe a sausage if he was lucky.

Gilbert pushed open the door to the bakery and was immediately greeted by the warm scent of baked goods. He hadn’t realised how chilly it was getting outside until he was surrounded but hot ovens and warm rolls. His mouth watered. He went to the counter to order and-

“Fuck off, we’re closed!” Came a cry from the back. Gilbert leaned around the counter and saw the back of a young brunet working the oven. He had a large iron rod and was poking at the coals. He leaned over to add more and Gilbert’s mouth watered for a different reason.

“Um, I just need something small?” Gilbert looked around for a menu with prices, but there wasn’t one to be found. Of course not, because that would make sense. 

The man in the back room cursed again, threw the door to the coals shut, and wiped his hands on his apron before stomping out to the front. He looked about ready to tear Gilbert a new one when he paused and gave him a once over. Gilbert stood up a little straighter and pushed his silver hair back self-consciously, and gave the man an eye himself.

He was short, even compared to Gilbert, which didn’t happen often, and seemed only a few years younger. He had dark curly hair and tanned skin, and the brownest eyes Gilbert thinks he’s ever seen(and he’s seen a lot of eyes). His lips and eyebrows seemed permanently pulled downwards, but with his pudgy cheeks it was the opposite of intimidating. He wore a green short-sleeved tunic and an apron, both of which were covered in flour and served the added bonus of showing off his (very nice) arms. Really, he was pretty cute.

“You’re not from around here,” the man said with a scowl.

“Eh, yeah, I’m just dropping by. Travelling bard, yaknow how it is,” Gilbert hefted his flute as evidence. The stranger’s scowl didn’t let up.

“What kind of dumbass comes to a town like this for money? You’d be better off in Aveni or something.”

“Oh, this is just a stop. Consider yourselves blessed to get to hear my amazing playing,” Gilbert winked and leaned on the counter.

The man calmly pulled a rag from the pocket of his apron. “Hair and eyes like yours don’t seem like a fucking blessing.” He whipped Gilbert’s arm off the counter with the rag. “And nobody wants to hear your shit music.”

Okay, ouch. Both the rag and the comment. Gilbert jingled his cap. “I’ll have you know I earned four coppers today, thank you very much. My music is awesome.”

His cap was snatched from his hands before Gilbert could react, and the man poked through the change before handing it back with an eyeroll. “Yeah, you can get about jack and, let me check, shit for that. I might have a stale bread roll in the back for that much.”

Now Gilbert’s easy air fell. That was a high price, though he supposed it made sense considering how far they were from any actual people. “That’s… it?” He poked through the coins again. “I can work for a bit more or something. I’m not very strong, but I’m smart. I’m Gilbert, by the way.” He stuck out a palm as a way of calming the stranger’s (frankly unwarranted) dislike of him. 

“Tch,” the man batted Gilbert’s hand away. “Don’t care.” He stretched and looked around the room. “I guess I can give you a fresh one…” he started.

“Oh! Awesome!” Gilbert grabbed the man’s hand anyways, shaking it vigorously. “That’s really nice of you, yknow I’ve had a pretty tough week and it’s good to know there’s nice people even in a weird town like…” and on he went. 

The man looked taken aback, too stunned by Gilbert’s sudden change in demeanor to comprehend any of his babbling, let alone retrieve his hand. “Oi!” He finally snapped, cutting Gilbert off mid-tangent. “I’m not your damn friend, capiche? I’m just giving you extra because you look like a fucking ghost and it makes me feel bad. I mean shit, when was the last time you ate?”

Good question. Gilbert had snacked plenty on stolen goods from his ride’s bag, but it had been a while since he’d gotten a proper meal. He shrugged. The man threw his arms up. “You see! I hate people like you, wandering from town to town and expecting people to take care of your dumb ass because you can’t take care of yourself. You’re lucky you’re cute, for fuck’s sake! Even with the weird eye thing,  I mean seriously what the hell is up with that? It’s fucking weird. And-”

It was Gilbert’s turn to cut him off. “You think I’m cute?” he asked, feeling his ears start to go red.

There was a pause before the man was shaking his head, clearly flustered. “No, I didn’t mean- I barely even know you! That’s a weird thing to say to a complete fucking stranger! What the fuck, Lovino?”

There was practically steam coming out of Gilbert’s ears as he attempted to parse what just happened. He’d been hit on before, sure, but never by anyone this pretty, and never so outright. The red eyes usually threw off anyone who actually found him hot, and even without them Gilbert wouldn’t consider himself ‘conventionally attractive’, whatever that meant. The only thing his mind managed to pick up on was “Lovino? Is that your name?” 

Lovino was working his fingers through his hair and looked up at that. “Yes?” he squeaked. “I mean! No! Fuck you!” He grabbed the nearest baked good, a warm pretzel covered in butter, and shoved it at Gilbert. “It’s free! Fuck off!” He said and pushed Gilbert towards the door.

Gilbert was still tasting the name Lovino on his tongue and went on instinct. He ended up outside, pretzel in hand, wondering what the hell just happened. Turning, he could see Lovino (Lovino, he thought again) hurriedly closing the place up. It was bright inside the bakery. The light spilled through the windows and into the quickly-darkening street. Gilbert looked up to see the last bits of sun dip behind a mountain.

By the time he turned again, the bakery was dark, and the door to the back room was closed. There was still bread on the shelves and flour on the floor, but apparently Lovino had decided that was enough and the day was done. A chill blew down main street, and Gilbert stuffed the warm pretzel into his mouth. Maybe he could find a stable to sleep in… Or even better, a barn.

The next day found Gilbert again in the main square, cap on the stone before him and flute pressed lightly to his lips. Today he caught the children headed home from a day of school, and they were eager to gather round and listen to his stories. Being children, they only had two copper between them, but they more than made up for it with sweets, shiny rocks, and marbles. This brought Gilbert up to six coppers and enough sweets to make a meal(anything adults say about ‘vegetables’ and ‘health’ is a lie).

Even while doing his bit, Gilbert only needed to glance up to be able to see the bakery across the street, and Lovino inside, very pointedly ignoring him. The butcher, the cobbler, and even the bishop were kind enough to step out and listen to Gilbert’s tunes, but Lovino kept his back to the windows whenever possible. It was cute, Gilbert thought. The more he watched the man, the more he felt a tightness in his chest.

Six copper… Hardly enough for a carriage, but a perfect place to start saving. Gilbert chewed on his lip as he counted out his day’s earnings. The sun would set soon, and most people had gone home or were in the process of closing up their shops. Surely he could spare a few coin, right?

Gilbert went into the bakery.

Immediately he was greeted by a snort, and “You again? I told you I don’t do handouts! And also to fuck off!”

Gilbert grinned and deposited his earnings on the counter. “No handouts, today. Turns out your town actually enjoys my awesome music.”

Lovino poked at the copper like it was a venomous spider. “You didn’t steal it?” That was actually rather insulting. Gilbert’s eyebrows knit together. “Of course not! I was out by the fountain all day. If you’d bothered to look up, you’d have seen me.”

There wasn't a response, instead Lovino stared at Gilbert. Or right behind him, it wasn’t clear. Gilbert looked about and back to Lovino. He had such deep brown eyes,  Gilbert could write songs about them. "You have hay in your fucking hair," he said, in a voice that was absolutely melodi-

"Eh?" Gilbert raised a hand to pat at his hair. "Where?"

"It's right- no, you're missing it. Just, shit, let me-" Lovino leaned across the counter, his dark fingers combing through Gilbert's hair, and Gilbert forgot to breathe. Lovino pulled back with a large clump of straw, and the two looked at it for a moment.

"Huh," said Gilbert. "I dunno how I missed that."

"Haybrain," Lovino scowled, and turned to toss the straw in a wastebasket. "How the hell did you get that much hay in your hair anyways? Sleep in a fucking haystack?"

"Uh, yeah, actually." Not far outside of town, Gilbert had found a nice barn to sleep in. It was small, and brown, and missing a door, but it still had a good haypile, and not too many bugs, so he counted as a win. "I've slept in worse places though, no big deal."

The coins made a scraping sound as they were pushed across the counter to him. "So you're a hobo," Lovino said and began packing a bag full of rolls. "How much shit have you eaten since that pretzel?"

Gilbert's ears turned red again. "I prefer awesome travelling bard, but yeah, sure, hobo. And I'll have you know," he turned up his nose, making light of the situation, "that I recieved a fortune's worth of candy from the schoolchildren today, and it has fed me quite well."

"A haybrain hobo who steals from kids, sure." A smile twitched at the corner of Lovino's lips if Gilbert squinted just right. The baker closed the bag and handed it over. It was still warm from the oven. "I don't do handouts. You owe me." Gilbert began to go on his grovelling spiel when Lovino held up a finger to stop him. "Nope. I'm serious. Go play your dumb songs until I'm closed, then I've got a place for you to stay until you fuck off to Aveni or wherever. But you work for your keep, capische?" Before Gilbert could respond, Lovino pressed his finger forward and into Gilbert's lips. "Capische?"

Gilbert nodded. Lovino pulled away, satisfied. "Okay, then help me clean this shit up. Nobody gets a proper dinner or sleep until this place closes, and it's gonna take a while since somebody fucked me over last night. So stop fucking distracting me with your pretty, stupid face."

"My what?" Gilbert managed to ask.

"Your pretty fucking stupid face. Here." A broom handle was shoved into Gilbert's hands and he was directed into the back room to sweep the hearth. In the time it took him to clean the ashes, Lovino had put up all the unsold items, washed all the dishes, wiped down the counters, and shut the blinds and locked the door.

Gilbert wiped a sooty arm across his face and smiled. "Anything else, Lord Lovino?"

Lovino frowned at him. "How in the fuck did you manage to get that covered in soot?"

"I've never had to clean a fireplace," Gilbert shrugged. Lovino groaned.

"Fine, I might have a shirt or something that would fit you."

The only thing left to do was blow out the candles. Lovino made him resweep the shop front anyways before he deemed the bakery clean enough to close, and put out the lights. He led Gilbert upstairs to a small living quarter. There was a fireplace with herbs strung to dry above it, a small shelf lined with jars, a trunk, and a table with one chair, but Gilbert's eyes were drawn to the bed. The only bed. The small only bed. Now his whole face was red.

Despite Gilbert's best efforts, Lovino caught this, and his eyes widened in embarrassment. "I'm so sorry, I didn't- I didn't even think about that," he blustered through a series of surprisngly curse-void apologies while digging through the trunk. "Just, here," and he threw a tunic at Gilbert's head.

Gilbert caught it easily. It was a plain red linen tunic, and seemed only a bit too big. He looked at Lovino. "Aren't you going to turn around?" A squeak of shame and Lovino turned his back. Gilbert slipped off his sooty clothes with a promise of "I'll wash them tomorrow," and put on the tunic. "Okay, you're good."

Lovino looked back and froze, bottom lip between his teeth. Gilbert pulled one of the sleeves up from where it had slipped off his shoulder self consciously. "Is there still hay in my hair?"

"Nope!" Lovino said, far too quickly. "I mean. No. You look great. I mean fine. I mean you look like shit. I'm going to bed." He swiveled on his heel and went back to the trunk, procuring a pile of furs, probably saved for cold winter months. "The floor should be fine enough, at least better than a hay stack, for fucks sake. Figure yourself out." With that, Lovino threw himself into the bed and turned his back to Gilbert.

"This'll be fine, thanks," Gilbert began, but it was clear Lovino was ignoring him. Eh. He put his flute and his cap on the ground and spread out the furs, then laid down. He wasn't used to sleeping this early, so instead he studied the eaves of the ceiling above him. He rolled over, stared at the back of Lovino's brunet head.

Lovino was an interesting person. Gilbert had met lots of interesting people in his travels, but none quite like this. People were generally either kind or not, but Gilbert had never met someone kind enough to open their home to a complete stranger, who then pretended to hate everyone and everything. He didn't understand. He wanted to understand. It was weird.

"Lovi?" He asked the back of Lovino's head. Silence. Then:

"The fuck did you just call me?"

"Why do you live alone?"

Another pause, this one longer. Gilbert almost asked another question to break the tension before Lovino responded. "Cause my family all had better places to be. Why do you travel alone?"

"Cause I left my family behind," Gilbert answered, easily. Lovino shifted in his bed. "Are you lonely?"

"No. Are you?"

"Yes." Lovino stiffened. Gilbert rolled onto his back. "I was never really close with my folks, even before I left. It's hard to miss what you never had, but I miss it anyways."

Quiet stretched between them. Gilbert could hear Lovino's breath slow, to the point that he almost thought him asleep. "Are you cold?" came Lovino's question, whispered so softly Gilbert hardly heard it.

"Yes," Gilbert lied.

He heard the sound of blankets shifting, and when he looked over, Lovino was staring back, his blankets open in a welcome. Neither said anything. Gilbert stood from his nest and shuffled into the already warm bed, pressed himself against Lovino's warm body.

"Fuck!" Lovino shouted, kicking away his feet. "Your feet as cold as balls!"

Gilbert laughed and shoved him back.  "That's just because you're too warm. Sorry, Lovi."

Lovino rolled so his back was too Gilbert, his legs pointedly pressed to the wall and away from Gilbert's. "Fuck you," pause, "Gil."

(I realised only afterwards that this would’ve been better from Lovi’s perspective but, eh. Two lonely losers who managed to find each other. Gilbert ends up staying in town and working at the bakery, probably also teaching music lessons or something. Lovino gets to buy a bigger bed. It’s gay. Sorry you didn’t get a kiss. Happy Valentine’s Day!)

[icecreamkink]

so i watched cobra kai all in two days and i have so many -

this show has so many cool and smart angles to it, but the same time.... its so stupid oh my god everyone is so dumb literally mr miyagi held all of the braincells in this whole universe 

like i am but at the same time i am not surprised it was made like this, bc in hindsight of course there were hordes of ppl simping over johnny lawrence ....  but it still amuses me that this is like... an Actual Official Thing

ok this will get long so cut it is

how much fun this cast has is super visible and i love it

i rly enjoy how the world was expanded ! i did grow up watching the karate kid movies, so watching how they progressed the world of the movies so organically was pretty cool. it rly feels like its the same universe

i fucking LOVE stories that are largely about a Thing. dancing ,skating, sports its just so thrilling to experience this all consuming relationship people can have with this type of activity? and martial arts are just that much more intense, so yeah, grown ass men kicking each other around at the lightest provocation and a war veteran caring so much abt teen karate is Ridiculous.... but i love it all because thats the intensity i find so thrilling

was kinda surprised with how much im missing mr. miyagi. first because, like everyone is so unhinged jesus christo, it just really throws into relief how much his character grounded the narrative of the movies. but also hes just a really great character

and on that note it rly Gets Me that the show itself aknowledges that and plays that into daniels angst and all the little ways they sorta weave myiagisms into the whole show........ im not getting emotional over this dumb karate dads show OK

related - i really miss hearing ‘daniel-san’ 🥺🥺

ACE DEGENERATE oh god oh no

they really went down the down and out johnny lawrence route huh. like i was always kinda bummed we see kreese choking him and then we never see him again in the movies, and while i love dumpster fire problematic trash himbo ck johnny, its like......................... actually really sad that his life turned out like this fjngn

everytime i hear ‘babes’ and ‘pussy’ i die a little inside. i know thats the point but i am a v cringe easy person, have mercy (ehe)

loved the way they are constantly drawing parallels between johnny and mr. myiagi of all people. hes the handy man of his building that has a bullied kid asking for help and eventually steps up to teach them karate, beats up a bunch of bullies for him, creates a friendship with said kid, estranged from family, drinks his sorrows away, surprisingly one of the least quick to anger characters (which says more about everyone else really but.... Well.), no schemes or ulterior motives hes just tryna vibe here.... oh and ofc magically heals miguel of is asthma apparently. the true disciple.. meanwhile daniel is his usual messy petty self even tho he wants to be mr myiagi so bad 

also interesting about that is how miguels character is a parallel of both johnny and daniel at the same time

overall the parallels in ck are done really well, drawing comparisons and also subverting them constantly. theyre well thought out

THE PARALELOGRAMS

fr tho, the angle being explicitly the cycle of trauma and its effects and how trumatized adults in turn traumatize kids, maliciously or not, is so interesting

but! on the flip side of that, it feels like the writers are getting in their own way @ letting the characters grow. especially this last season. theres only so many times you can do "johnny and daniel are getting along but 5mins later they are (literally) fighting over some dumbass random issue" or "johnny puts in 20% of effort with robby and then gives up" before it gets on your nerves yknow?

i see daniel no longer talks like macchio ingested 15 shots of espresso before every take and idk how to feel about that tbh

interesting tension in daniel, as in, in tkk mr miyagi was there and daniel was frankly, kind of a lil shit, this messy petty spitfire hot tempered sassy kid,(johnny lawrence voice: just... stop being so annoying) but now hes the adult, and he wants to be mr. miyagi... but hes just not, and never will be to his very core and it shakes him and in a way hes trying to find who he is now that he sees himself in a position to be a not! cobra kai figure. i kinda really like that 

plus how that relates to his cobra kai trauma. idk if the writers thought abt it Like That, i think so, but in any case, its interesting bc it seems like daniel has told everyone whod listen about johnny lawrence his Pretty Boy Karate Rival and high school and 84 cobra kai... But. no one seems to know what went on in 85 (or 86? idk) which was just so much worse

like ye og cobras were shitheads, but tkk iii is just two hours of daniel being emotionally and physically tortured. 

like, the third movie is.............chaotic, to put it nicely, and many people ignore it, but the writers clearly didnt. daniels actions are, in a way, responding so much more to the events of tkk iii than to the first movie ie. johnny himself, AND. daniel doesnt rly seem to have dealt with that trauma? he never told sam? doesnt feel like hes ever told amanda? he doesnt even say terrys name out loud? freaks Out over kreese ? the way he reacts to robbys deceit? his FACE when he walks past the new "fear does not exist in this dojo" paint or kreeses photo? hmMm i sense Pain

his fashion tho........... disappointing. where are the flower shirts daniel huh we had one (1) shirt what a tragedy STOP WEARING SUITS ALL THE TIME . also the band ts/grunge bi are a look for johnny but part of me longs for the preppy lovable 80s bully chic johnny lawrence getups

weird that they never used that last moment of karate kid where johnny kinda... snaps out of his anger and hands daniel the trophy almost in tears. like “youre alright larusso, good match” “thanks a lot”  that being their last direct interection seems like itd be perfect fruit for cobra kai but... they just dont. weird. 

especially when, the FIRST SCENE they see each other, suposedly in 30+ years, the first thing to come out of daniels mouth is QUOTE "u still got those golden locks huh?" WHO SAYS SHIT LIKE THAT DANIEL FUCKING SAN 

also amandas immediate reaction "your pretty boy rival?" like. can we talk about the fact that daniel had to have imparted to his wife the very important information that his high school bully/karate rival was like Really Cute and Fucking Hot Actually

 the writers Knew exactly what they were doing and honestly.............. power to them

tkk director voice: and billy was just so cute  

also I was thinking that daniel sounded strangely fond in that first scene, and i wonder if he developed a weird affection for johnny on the grounds that of all of his Karate Rivals johnny was actually the only one who didn’t actively tried to literally kill him

i was actually delightedly surprised with how great the chemistry between them is, like from the get go i am Invested. their rl friendship totally bleeds through and its fantastic

. granted, idiots enemies to lovers friends is my Thing so i am biased  

johnny lawrence: i am down in the dumps, i fucked up my whole life and my sons probably, largely in light of the trauma that the father figure sensei and the philosophy of my karate inflicted on me and all my friends. u know what i should do, as a traumatized, unreliable mess of an adult? teach that same philosophy to some other kids! what could go wrong! 

but really i enjoy the setup of it. i kinda like that i watched it late because, season 1 was johnny setting himself up for failure in a way and it was exciting to watch it all go to shit sjfn

Like. his heart might be in the right place, but theres just.... not a way to teach something like ‘strike hard, no mercy’ and not have it fuck up a kid 

case and point: aisha, miguel and hawk become annoying as all hell over that bullshit in the end of s1, even before shit gets truly fucked up

billys subtle panicked eyes when he sees hawk and miguel fighting dirty in the all valley was SO GOOD especially in parallel with the panic that is so visible in his face in the movie when kreese tells bobby to injure daniel and in the sweep the leg scene 

seen people question wether kreese should have returned and i absolutely think he needed to. johnny needed to realize that cobra kais fundamentals are flawed, at the root, beyond kreese himself being a toxic piece of shit 

also who are we kidding? we are here to see the tkk characters play on new playgrounds!

i get what they're doing abt kreeses backstory, ( also. cobra kai. pq eles caem nas cobras djjs sorry) but did it need to take up that much time? feels like they couldve  done it in half the run time and developed some other stories better 

martin kove has such an evil eye. i love it

love that we get a good follow up to kreese breaks johnnys trophy and tries to CHOKE HIM in the parking lot, which happened in the movie and then....................... was never mentioned again

“the gang is all back together again” aaaa u piece of SHIT 

also. terry silver is definetely appearing ha ha ha PAIN i cant wait

seen ppl say kreese was too much of a cartoon villain like..........................oh......... sweetie........... u dont even Know

interested how johnny will fit into that bc kreese was simping rly hard for johnny here. like i did not expect him to be so adamant to have him with cobra kai ... under his control, sure, but he really wants johnny by his side despite already having control of the dojo and how will terry silver self appointed jon kreeses forever simp going to feel abt that? 

like bitchs dropping by every episode like ‘joooooohnny ..... come bacc to me joooonny......... this ur last warning! for real this time johnny! i wont say it again! watch me ! im leaving johnny! im rly leaving ! im dragging a chair” and johnny is just like. dont let the door hit ya bitch it was so funny pls

and on that subject oof, johnny! doesnt! Know! he doesnt get that side of daniels cobra kai trauma. and i kind of.............. cannot wait for ck 2021 johnny lawrence to meet terry silver like. what a shit show i need a front row seat and popcorn (imagine terry tries some greasy charm and johnny just roundhouse kicks him in the teeth bc he just doest Not Have the Patience for This. glorious)

feels like we, as a society, should acknowledge that cobra kai will never die................ bc their sense of design is just chefs kiss. their name is COBRA KAI. they have sexie sleeveless black gis. theyve sneks. colorful leather jackets with embroided naja insignia, the get ppl thru the aesthetics. evil geniuses

the flashback cuts : masterpiece behavior

the other takes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! of the movie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the differente angles!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! of the FIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE CLOSE UP ON JOHNNYS FACE AT THE KICK 

that scene of daniel and johnny vibing to 80s music in the car. just. oh my god. the fan wish fullfilment. no thoughts head empty.

the new characters! theyre .... good. but. idk. i really like miguel (save for the annoying phase mid s1 - end s2) and amanda, who is a damn riot and has some functioning braincells, but everyone else is       

like dont get me wrong, i dont hate anyone,its not a jane and rafael from jtv situation,  and i am interested and invested in their arcs, but i wouldnt say i like   Like them, as in, personality wise 

like, sams grappling with ptsd was rly gutting and i enjoyed that plus her slight rage issues, 

which nicely parallel torys rage issues. torys background is all over the place tho so im pretty on the fence abt her so far

robby deserves better in every way, and i like how smart and cunning and surprisingly sweet he is

hawk............... is there i guess,

 demetri is annoying in the best way possible,

 carmen is sweet but. i just feel like her character is blunted to make the johnny relationship easier. like when shes furious with him after miguels injury but then forgives him like an episode later? and then convinces him to fight for the tournament bc she had a karate epiphany off screen even tho she was always against it? meh. feels like with the plot thiccening she was swallowed and now shes like a crutch for johnny mora than anything, which is disappointing.

aisha was cool and im kinda mad she wasnt in s3, especially bc a storyline with her tory and sam was like RIGHT THERE , but also... cant say i was super super fond of her... doesnt feel like we ever spent enough time on her

moon the bi icon, 

overall its a good cast but the main draw for me remains the og cast 

the tory/sam miguel/robby Thing. enjoy how theyre Narrative Foils and i like how their stories were so dramatically entangled but oh god give me a break with the teenage love square for the love of god. if u gonna put us through that at least have the decency to not make it so straight

and honestly some sam/tory        miguel/robby romantic tension would even make more sense. just saying! 

also im not sure how i feel abt the cobra kai: red miyagi do: blue theyre going with since some of daniels most iconic looks in tkk are also red. like it was a color they (johnny and him) sorta shared. i get it, opposite but complementary but idk... a little too fire nation and water tribe for me .

 and like the cobra kai kids are so funny abt it bc their outifts grow progressively more ridiculously coordinated. its like do they group chat every morning before leaving their houses? 

robby still sticks out like that tho. he went thru an athleisure/daniel san tsleeves phase and now hes back in the bandts grunge, but his color scheme doesnt fully blend with the other cobra kais. hmmmm.

LOVED LOVED LOVED both the okinawa episode and the cobra kais easy rider episode just such good good heart aching fun

bobby is an icon. he was in tkk and he is now ck hope appears more and more

 tommy is like the most iconic background character. all his lines, freaking gold then and now. sigh :( 

the framing in the okinawa trip was so good everything was so good

i stand by the fact that kumiko was the love interest daniel had the most chemistry with and shes is overall such a joy to watch, loved to see her again, idola, fashion icon

also tkk ii is good u guys are just mean

also really enjoyed chozens role in the episode, his evolution; i love that they introduced the pressure points (ty lee the blueprint) and! the honk + karate! cousins! absolutely iconic

when kumiko reads mr miyagis letters........ oh my god, my eyes FILLED with tears, it was so heart wrenching :(( tamlyns delivery was so emotional and lovely and its so obvious everyone involved in ck has so much love and respect for pat morita and mr miyagi as character, and i adore that it exists like this electric current through the show

when we were watching i told my sister i thought that ali would be miguels big shot surgeon and ngl i am so disappointed that didnt happen. hire me cobra kai writers

also the johnny ali daniel amanda chemistry? off the charts

AND the sassy retconning of daniel and alis breakup! LMAO ‘I HOPE U DIDNT TELL MR MIYAGI IT WAS MY FAULT’ HFDJJGNKFKSD

i am preeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetty sure back injuries dont work like that    but oke

daniel and johnny are so good together whenever, like they never actually help the kids or get shit done and end up fighting anyway but its just so much fun when theyre hanging

JOHNNY LAWRENCE AND DANIEL LARUSSO FIGHTING TOGETHER

daniels “plan” on how to get robby to juvie was so stupid. literally were u TRYING to make him hate you. dumbass

parents at those hearing rly brave for ppl that did not do ANYTHING as their kids got involved in a karate gang war until now

“bullshit i heard u were the real bully!” i mightve screeched

this s3 ending was SO DRAMATIC omg

everyone is such a MESS go to THERAPY u unhinged motherfckers

also im sorry but uh. a richass neighborhood in california doesnt have some type of neighborhood watch? the larussos rly dont have any security at all? neighbors wont hear the sound of a damn karate brawl happening next door??? also wasnt tory all like ooo i cant go to juvie, my mom yada yada yet shes always running around town getting into fights even at the rich girls house she was kicked out of school for fighting??   ?  ??    ??        ?                ?    ?          ??                  ?    ? girl??

stop destroying the larussos house, its so pretty :((((

sam finding her center looking at mr miyagis picture...  uwu maybe

robby yelling ‘U ARE WEAAK’@  johnny \as he is easily blocking him is like.... so funny and so sad to me. sweetheart. 

also i know it was meant as ‘oh johnny pushes him and HURTS HIM’ but it just looks like robby runs himself into the lockers and IM SO SORRY I FEEL SO BAD BUT IT WAS SO FUNNY 

i like that he and tory are the cobra kai kids now. we need ppl we care abt there to not revert to a good vs evil schtick, and this is the most engaging it could be... tho it hurts that these kids cant catch a break

ah yes "lets bet some real shit on the result of this teen karate tournament bc that is always a great idea" is BACK

so daniel saves johnny from kreese..... maybe johnny will save him from terry 🧐

and dojos unite ohohoho. lets SEE how that’ll work out 

miguels face of Despair when the ck defectors and the md kids are bickering like 'this is never gonna work' : gold

also. Johnny Lawrence is gonna learn some myiagi-do karate AHAAHSJAKDFH

 ive been waiting for this moment all my lifeeee oh lawrd 

final thoughts! there are def things i hope the writers will improve on the next season, but i am very excited for it either way AND i feel like it has made me enjoy the movies even more and that is a win for a reboot/sequel to me!!