#hes definitely said these exact words in canon im pretty sure

[hidden-tea-party]

Motivational Quote of the Day: Nanjo

"You may think you know, but you can't prove I'm not wearing a crop top under all these layers. People can surprise you."

[liloinkoink]

i feel like ppl looking at character flaws in the dsmp fandom is always like "this is why you Shouldnt like this guy" as if him being flawed isnt the exact reason i go feral over him

THATS IT EXACTLY. i feel like good and interesting character analysis is generally supposed to be written from a place of love, of “this is the full portrait of what makes a character who they are” and helps you gain a better understanding of the character. bc like, you need to understand a character's flaws to understand them!

this might just be me coming from Magnus Archives fandom most recently, where the series genre was tragedy. tragedy is tragic because it is inevitable. tragedy is inevitable bc, even when other choices are available, a character's flaw's will drive them to make the choices which doom them. all you can do is watch. i remember listening to mag 199, the second to last episode of the series, and realizing i knew exactly what Jon was going to do at the start of mag 200. looked at what i knew about his flaws and you know what? i was right! best/worst feeling in the world was starting mag 200 and realizing oh, it really was inevitable, huh.

which was great! having a good understand of a character and their flaws means that you should be able understand where they'll fall into the trappings of those flaws. and sure, maybe in dsmp our genre isn't tragedy, and our cast's flaws aren't going to be their end fate, it's still incredibly important

however, i feel like “critical character analysis” here is instead “character criticism,” relying on the other definition of the word critic. the stuff i've seen is often by someone who doesn’t like or watch that person, explaining why you shouldn’t like or support that character. like. that’s not…

not only that, but bc of the way dsmp canon is set up, its also like....

i feel ive made it very clear i basically only watch techno pov. from my pov, the lights cast on characters like quackity are... not particularly flattering. and they don't have to be! unlike a normal series with one canon, where your work needs to flesh out everyone you want to be a 3-d character, dsmp does not do that.

quackity is already writing the story where he is the main character, where he is sympathetic. technoblade doesn't have to write that story. so quackity looks significantly more "irredeemable, unsympathetic, and exclusively villain" from my eyes as a technoblade viewer than from someone who only watches quackity pov. if i were to write an analysis on quackity, using what i know from techno's eyes... it's not going to look pretty, and im certainly not giving quackity any benefit of the doubt

which isn't even necessarily a bad thing, so long as i was acknowledging "this is quackity, as he looks like from techno's pov." that's actually has the potential to be a very interesting analysis! but i feel people often shaves off everything post-comma, which is incredibly disingenuous for quakcity as a character. i mean, techno-only pov wouldn't know about charlie or the fiances or the arc quackity is going on now, the things that quackity cares about or any development his character has. it's not fair to say that's an accurate picture of quackity as a whole!

especially when you then combine all of this (this post is so long oh my god lmao) with the attitude a lot of these posts seem to take, which you addressed in your ask... many "character critical" posts take a tone of 'this character is Bad and im trying to convince you to Not Like Them.' but that's not what character flaws are! character flaws are a part of what makes a character enjoyable and relatable and inform their decisions! it's exactly as you said! i like a character because of their flaws!

anyway, the end result is "critical character analysis" which boils down to Here Is Why You Should Hate This Character, written by someone who doesnt really watch that POV (and instead watches a character who dislikes the subject of their post), presented as objective fact of who that character is. the experience of reading such a post sounds in my head the exact same as putting two microphones next to each other and allowing the feedback make my ears explode

ALL THIS TO SAY, if all the analysis of a character’s flaws is written by ppl who hate that character, it’s doing a major disservice both to ppl who like and dislike the character by robbing all of us of proper and meaningful understanding.

also it’s, like. boring.

anyway. dsmp fandom is the first fandom to completely accurately replicate and, in fact, facilitate in-character communication issues between fans. and i suffer for this fact every day

(only somewhat related, but i do wonder if it might be worth keeping in mind stuff like what was the tone of the stream you watched on event XYZ when talking about analysis of dsmp, bc ive noticed i literally cannot take serious analysis of doomsday serious bc techno's doomsday is the most fun ive ever had watching a stream lmao like... sorry you guys are sad but i cannot think anything except that's a fuckin party!!! which absolutely has an effect on the way i engage w discussion. and i’m sure i’m not the only one. but that’s not the point of this post) (tl;dr ah the trials and tribulations of a series with many varied POVs)

[sun-stormz]

Dream SMP - Long theory and breakdown

So, as we know, yesterday’s stream was a lot.

Disclamer: the dream smp is a roleplay server, most interactions and all conflict are acting and scripted.

After catching up on some of the other streams, I have come up with some theories.

1)     The big heartbreak of yesterdays event: Tubbo going to visit tommy and thinking he lost his last life. Now, Since the two are very close and Tubbo now thinks hes dead, I’m pretty sure there is going to be a funeral in L’manburg. Now the thing here is that both ranboo and Philza know where Tommy actually is and that he’s alive, but both would get in a lot of trouble if they say they know where he is. Ranboo part of the the butcher army, and if Quackity even hears a hit of the fact that he was at technos, it’s going to end badly. Philza is in house arrest and would get in a lot of trouble if he were caught leaving. So, either tommy shows face or he will be presumed dead. The later is way more likely due to the Theseus parallel. In the story of theseus, his father thinks he died trying to fight the minotaur due to a small mistake made by the crew of the boat they where on and jumps off a cliff, ending his life. Now in the parallel, Tubbo went to visit tommy and due to the explosions and Pillar thinks Tommy took his life.

I don’t think tubbo will have the same fate as Theseus’ father, but he will definitely be way less active as president or just become cold.

 2)     Philza is going to act as a spy/ link to L’manburg for Tommy and Techno. After the attempted execution of Techno, which was held right in front of Philzas house, he has lost all respect and trust in L’manburg, even telling Fundy, his grandson, that he’s dead to him. Not many will trust Philza but I think they will grow warm to him again and he will use that to help his sons. Philza is very protective of his sons and will sacrifice a lot to make sure they are safe. What leads me to my next point.

 3)     Techno might go mad like Wilbur. After having tried to reason with the butcher army that he just wants retirement and failing, he chose blood. He gave in to the voices, the only thing stopping him from killing all of the butcher army being Quackity, who threatened Carl. We know now that the only two confirmed things that will make Techno stop is Carl and philza. I believe that he would do anything to protect Wilbur if he was seriously threatend but Wilbur being a Ghost make it hard to actually harm him. I also think that he will protect Tommy with his life. It may not seem like it but small things like not hitting him with a weapon unless he had eaten a Gapple. He was very loud and indifferent to Tommy apon finding him, but he didn’t kill him, he protected him from mobs and offered to help him. They are brothers after all, and in the end of the day the do care about each other, indifferent? yes but they still care and the small gestures make that clear. I think that techno will either see one of those he cares for get hurt or killed and just lose it or his family will keep him grounded enough to not greet complete insanity with open arms.

 4)     Quackity will become a worse Schlatt. Now I don’t think that Schlatt possessed him when he ate that heart, but it started the same power greed disease schlatt had. Dream telling him ‘don’t try’ made him fall over the edge. But I believe that is exactly what dream wanted. As we know dream is a big fan of chaos, because where there is chaos and fight, he can stand on top. Quackity falling into power greed fuled insanity makes him easy to play with. He isn’t the president of L’manburg but talks about it like its his. When he lost a canon life to techno, he said he didn’t care about what techno did in the past, what he cares about is that techno can threaten his power and that’s why hes on the hit list. Quackity is causing Chaos, the exact chaos dream wants. I’m not sure if its said anywhere but im sure Quackity was the one to evict Ghostbur from the sewers. Hes doing and saying things without running them by Tubbo and Tubbo is being played a fool, now especially after he thinks Tommy is dead, he will be easy to manipulate.

 5)     Ranboo plays a bigger role then meets the eye. He has all of technos stuff as far as I’m informed, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he was Dreams spy. Ranboo is in everyones backpocket. He talks with everyone and knows everyone. Ranboo is half enderman and the other half is unknown, there has been hints that his crown has lore, and I wouldn’t be surprised if the reason why he feared Dream so much was because dream was using something we don’t know against him, on top of the fact the dream is, matter of fact, rather intimidating.

 6)     The Prison. Now the Prison is a big one. No one knows who it’s for, but I think its for the people that can threaten dream / the people he can’t control aka Techno & Tommy. Tommy is an obvious one considering the whole disks ordeal and that Tommy has never bent to Dreams will. Techno is one of the only people that can actually go up against Dream and possibly come out on top. Now thanks to one of Ranboos Streams we know that the prison has like 6-8 Cells as of right now. I don’t think Sam would build unnecessary stuff in an already extreme build. I’m rather unsure of my own theory of Techno and Tommy, but I’m very confident with it being for multiple people. That being said, it could very well be that it backfires, and dream ends up in it

 Final thoughts?

 I think Tommy will see through Dreams plan to make everyone go against everyone. He is good at getting people together and I think he will be able to do it again, he just needs to realize that that is what he needs to do. After now teaming with Techno he might even understand that if they want peace, they will need to have no government or at least a system Techno agrees with cause that man has at least 25 withers on hand and that is a threat.

I hope most of them will realise that the sole problem will and always will be Dreama and Greed for power over the people, what again plays into the Techno thing. If the SMP has a good ending before the likely reset for the cave update, I hope that they realise the threat to peace is Dream and Governments. I hope that Quackity regains his sanity and I hope everyone can be happy.

 Worst case scenario? Techno releases all withers he has, and the server goes out with a bang, I’d be ok with that one too.

 If you made it to the end, congratulations! This has 1250 words, so I’m impressed, have this derpy Techno gif i found as reward. Do leave your opinion in the comments I would love to talk with people I know no one that watches the SMP.  ;-;

p.s: ive have been fighting the urge to write this the entire day while at school, oh its good to have this written down

[daaziscoolbesties]

[REPOST] MY 2K WORD COMMENTARY/ANALYSIS OF RANBOO’S LORE STREAM

‼️‼️This post contains lore spoilers from Ranboo’s 4/23 stream, “The Enderwalk Saga. Chapter 1: The Lessons”. If you haven’t seen that stream don’t read ahead unless you want spoilers‼️‼️

disclaimer: this isnt really an analysis as much as a bunch of commentary and half-baked theories.

-on the way to the mansion he was sort of talking to himself saying stuff like "i'm good i'm good" which m a y be a normal thing but also maybe it's not and it flew over our heads cause he talks to chats and donos like that so often

-again, this one may just be a normal thing but when he was climbing up the stairs in the mansion looking for foolish, he repeats some of his words like down to the exact same tone of voice and everything. 12:42,  "this mansion is way too big actually. this mansion is way too big actually." (why the repeated actually? seems odd to me but again it might just be a normal thing that i haven't picked up on). (right after) "okay okay lemme find him lemme find him" again repeated words in the e x a c t same tone.

-does everyone know about ranboo's silk touch hands ability thing? or was that just a techno and ranboo main character moment. bc if it was, how would foolish know that ranboo could pick up the full cake after it'd been partially eaten. unless everyone on the sever knows about that in which case this means nothing. but if they d o n t know... how would foolish know? ranboo wrote about it in the do not read book so maybe if it's not a publicly known thing maybe foolish got his hands on the book and read it??

-14:53-ish, they're talking about the war room and how it was for tubbo or whatever and ranboo says, and i quote "he prepares for lore but he's never gonna do it." now funny thing is at first i couldn't tell if he said "war" like in reference to the war room or "lore". but after playing the clip over and over i can say with ALMOST 100% certainty that he said lore. there is a definite L sound at the beginning of the word. which either means a) this was a slip up (doubtful bc he said later that there were no mistakes), b) he broke the fourth wall because they were supposed to be rping at that point, or c) i'm completely wrong and he said "war" which leads down an entire other road of possibilities

-15:17 "are you a book reader?" "*checks inventory for do not read book* uh yeah i'd say i'm a book reader-" dunno how i didn't catch this the first time I HATE THAT DAMN BOOK

-15:18 there's blue in his hotbar. where did he get the blue.

-16:40 "it's like a metaphor- i have two minds: i have my normal self, my normal little shift-dancing self, and then the builder one. the builder one is demanding. it's a very demanding mind." ranboo then lets out a weird sigh after this. i feel like what foolish was talking about was an indirect(?) parallel to ranboo in and out of enderwalk, there's how he normally is, trying to do best for others, and then there's enderwalk, meeting up with bad guys and "demanding" things (its very late as i write this i really don't know what i'm talking about)

-17:11 "you have your panic closet" i'm sorry his what now 😀 no but seriously how the hell did i miss some of these

-18:04 "you're asking me if i remember?" very funny ranboo thank you for making jokes in these trying times

-18:25 WHY DID HE GET OUT THE AXE WHEN STARING AT THE BEE

-19:38 why did foolish hold the grass block- most of these observations probably mean nothing but- h u h - is that- i'm too tired for this

-19:54 "i never properly thanked you for the deal you made with me" so foolish got something out of this deal, we're not sure if ranboo did. "the green cardboard box" again do you mean dream's house- but seriously the only people i can think of on the server that are associated with green are dream and sam. and i have no idea what cardboard box could be referring to.  foolish got a lime colored shulker from drista

-20:30 "we're supposed to only talk about it at a certain location" hmm now where would that be? panic room maybe? cause like usually after doing a big thing in the enderwalk state ranboo wakes up in the panic room so maybe?  the deal was that they only talk about it in his house

-21:52 how does ranboo receive(?) the lessons? like are they whispered to him in his mind or is he seeing them as words in front of him like we see? hmm

-"Lesson 14: If you have the opportunity to gain a favor, take it." "gain a favor" don't you usually ask people for favors though? how does one "gain a favor"? anyways i'm pretty sure lesson 14 has to do with the deal foolish was talking about. (the deal explained because i now have info: at some point a bit ago foolish met up with ranboo and asked to make a deal, he'd gotten a shulker box from drista. the deal was that ranboo would have ownership of the box, it would be under his name but foolish rents/borrows it indefinitely. ranboo negotiated that if he took ownership of the box he would get a "war favor"  from foolish where if something happens that creates sides, ranboo can ask him a favor that could change his side. but why would foolish want ranboo to have ownership of the shulker you may ask? well i have an answer for you. a theory actually but still. basically since drista technically isn't supposed to give out shit on the server if someone where to have that stuff then they may get in trouble. foolish wants to be able to use the shulker but if it gets found he doesn't want to get in trouble, so he can blame it on ranboo seeing as it's under his name.)

-22:16-ish "i still have this from when you *can't understand whats said here*" well i guess that sort of explains why he had the grass block? idk man (info update: he had the grass block from when ranboo threw it at him telling him to calm down like what ghostbur does with blue)

-31:35 "i figured out how to cause it" how to cause the enderwalk state

-38:30 "ninety three lessons" I STILL DONT KNOW WHY HE KEPT SAYING NINETY THREE AND NOT NINETY FOUR AND ITS DRIVING ME CRAZY LMAO

-39:01 "it's all for the greater good" okay well when are you gonna start thinking about yourself and not everyone else for once huh. self care bitch.

-40:31 he started holding the axe when he was looking at sam- gonna say it i really don't like that axe ahahah- WAIT A DAMN MINUTE THE AXE IS NAMED "axe of ender" I DONT LIKE THAT I DONT LIKE THAT AT ALL

-41:53 is there something?? physically keeping him from telling sam??? or maybe it's sort of like his enderwalk state taking control to make him shut the fuck up??? so many questions and approximately zero answers

-43:18 ranboo raising his voice legitimately scares me 😀👍

-"Lesson 27: Do not reminisce on what you have lost for it will weigh you down." showed up when he was thinking about and REMINISCING about the community house 👀👀

-"Lesson 53: Never fully trust anyone." showed up literally after he said that he thinks he can trust the other people on the server enough to tell them about what he did

-"Lesson 67: Leave no evidence of what you have helped with." this is different from the others because there doesn't seem to be at least a semi-direct connection to it? unless maybe at the time ranboo was near something he may have "helped with"? not sure about this one

-"Lesson 94: DO NOT LET THEM KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE DONE" yeah yeah i get it i get it he's fucked up some shit in enderwalk i don't feel like analyzing this thanks

-OH OH NOTICE HOW HE SAYS "REMEMBERING" WHEN THE LESSONS SHOW UP. IMPLYING THAT THIS ISNT A NEW THING, ITS HAPPENED BEFORE AND NOW HES REMEMBERING IT. MAYBE HE WROTE DOWN THE LESSONS WHEN HE WAS IN ENDERWALK AND NOW THAT HES BEEN EXPERIMENTING ITS BEEN EASIER FOR HIM TO REMEMBER THOSE ENDERWALK MEMORIES

-okokok the experiments are that he's been e x p e r i m e n t i n g on how to purposefully induce the enderwalk state. and we know now that it wasn't from the pain of the water because on the stream afterwords he said that it's caused by the intense fear of something happening. and so the "side effects" of the experiments is that since he's in enderwalk more often(?) he starts remembering more things from it

-OH MY GOD WAIT "there is a reason sam, there's so many reasons, theres ninety three of them" (44:47) WHAT IF EVERY LESSON IS TIED TO A QUOTE UNQUOTE "reason" THAT RANBOO THINKS HES A BAD PERSON/NEEDS TO BE LOCKED UP BUT HE SAYS NINETY THREE INSTEAD OF NINETY FOUR BECAUSE THE NINETY FOURTH LESSON DOESNT HAVE A REASON YET/HE DOESNT REMEMBER IT HAVING A REASON

-dude honestly the whole sam part hurts so much this man is scarily good at acting

-46:46 "i cant put you in the prison you wouldn't be able to see michael anymore" bestie that's the point he doesn't want to accidentally hurt michael or tubbo in the enderwalk state—

-okay but there's no way that sam couldn't tell that ranboo was at least TRYING to confess to something- i feel like he definitely knows more than he's letting on because usually like when people do bad shit or admit to doing bad shit he's like in Prison Guard Mode™️ (he literally cut off ponk's arm because he stole some keycards or something) and whatever and idk what he knows but he definitely knows something and is trying to protect ranboo. or he's trying to manipulate him or smth either one works—

-50:38 "you are a good person" "i am?" you can hear my heart shatter. "yes you are" "i don't think so sam" "i do, even if you don't" "i really don't think so" and there it goes again

-51:25 hello badboyhalo i see you to the left of ranboo

-52:44 "but then my curiosity got the best of me" curiosity killed the cat, bitch

-52:54 "there's ninety three, ninety four, ninety- theres so many reasons!" SEE!! NOT ONLY ARE THERE THAT MANY LESSONS THERE ARE REASONS THAT CORRESPOND IM S O SMART—

-52:56 "i don't want to remember anymore!" *quietly brings forth my theory that when ranboo loses a canon life his memory gets wiped*

-53:13 "ive opened pandora's box" isn't the prison?? literally called pandora's VAULT??? so this m a y be a stretch but i'm thinking that maybe this could be taken in the literal sense that he "opened" the prison and let dream out (the sirens at the end of quackity's stream confirm that dream is indeed out)

-53:42 mans just straight up walked through a ghost i—

-55:37 so are we just gonna ignore the eleventh page of the book? "he's alive, but hopefully soon dream won't be"??? alright nevermind it's most likely bc when tommy came back he recruited ranboo in his plan to kill dream

-55:47 notice how he writes "what am i?" as opposed to "who am i?" no elaboration here idk what it could be

-56:08 just so it's clear for anyone who doesn't know- he's wearing armor at this point, and i'm like 90% sure that when he wears his armor water can't hurt him. and i saw someone say somewhere that like with splash potions when thrown it turns into a gas-like thing? so again, it didn't hurt him, he didn't get hurt. he said in the chill stream that he wasn't comfortable making it where his character had to hurt himself to do that. the thing that causes the enderwalk isn't pain, it's intense and sudden emotions like fear and stress. thank you for coming to my tedtalk.

[fearfearer]

more thoughts about the magnus archives as i reread the transcripts

i was thinking about how gertrude robinson was really an extraordinary person (not extraordinarily Morally Sound, but extraordinary) just because of who she was, whereas the only extraordinary things about jonathan sims are things that have been arranged for him (i.e. his role). i don't mean this as a diss for jonathan, as i'm not extraordinary either. it's just striking that gertrude was so driven and confident compared to jon. of course, now we know that basically everything she did was in the pursuit of a moot goal (i.e. killing people in order to stop rituals that were already doomed to fail) so maybe my point is somewhat moot as well.

i've been doing some rereading of episodes on my phone (i.e. away from this text document on my computer) and i'll have a realization like "right, i should note that down when i get back to my computer" and i have forgotten all of them now that i am back at my computer. suffice it to say there are quite a few things i misheard/misunderstood on the first listen, unsurprisingly.

reading through the first 20 or so episodes i'm surprised by how well i remember each of them, considering i was listening like 4 episodes a day when i started. then again, it was only a month or two ago that i even listened to them, so one should hope my memory is at least this good. anyway the first episode i'm re-listening instead of rereading is 22 bc that's the first one where we hear martin's voice, i'm pretty sure

i've also noticed some errors in the official transcripts, which aren't a big deal because obviously what matters most is the audio, but still... some of them have been simple typos. magnus archives hire me as your official transcriptionist and i'll make all your transcripts 100% error-free bc im smatr

(reading through the rest of the transcripts and my standards went way down in terms of grammar/stylistic consistency, as most of the later ones are fan transcripts by several different people. i found quite a few mistakes, but obviously i have no particular way to help fix them short of sending an email to the tma transcripts fansite person like “hey there’s all these mistakes. upload my good version instead?” bc i’m not that much of a dick)

the whole reason martin went to the spider guy's building was because he didn't want jon to be disappointed in him for not doing Due Diligence. he says so twice. then he went back for the same reason. it seems the fandom joke is "jon asks his assistants to do crimes for him" but in this case martin is like "oh no maybe i didn't do enough crimes to satisfy jon"

jon was doing his archivist voice HEAVILY in season 1, huh?

tim's first appearance is so jovial compared to how he ends up...

if this boat lady is speaking spanish in brazil, then it doesn't matter if it was "bad spanish" or not. anyway now i understand why we already knew peter lukas was serving the lonely by the time jon mentioned offhand that peter lukas was serving the lonely. it was my whole “let’s not bother noting down any FREQUENTLY RECURRING names”

well i guess robert smirke was a real person. should i feel dumb about this? idk. it’s such a fictional-sounding name, to be fair. but i guess that set the precedent of using a real person as an important historical figure in the fiction that we see happening again when edmund halley is referenced later on. also episode 35 has foreshadowing for the separation of 14 powers, and people thought it was 13 because they mention 13 halls PLUS the one they came through.

totally forgot about tim goofing around in episode 39... he was really not having the worst time at this job before bad things started happening and he realized he was trapped, huh

the worms were trying to make a doorway into the Worm Wealm

ep 40 jon's like "I need to hear it. I need to record it. Or else I can't finish." (lightly abridged)

listening to the season 1 Q&A for the first time and EARL BIGMAC

also good to know there's only going to be 5 seasons. very good to know. this seems like a good kind of series to write with a fixed endpoint in mind, as it's very easy to do an episode that has effectively no bearing on the MetaPlot but which is still a short story in itself and therefore doesn't count as "filler"

jonathan sims performs with a mythical space pirate music cabaret. so he IS a ham

jonny says, "no rude words. i could say bums, maybe..." (alexander j newall does a laugh while i do the exact same laugh irl) "...but i won't."

some dumbass writing into the Q&A to ask if the background music is diegetic... get a podcast brain, ya fool. though for my part, i have to say that one of the most striking things about this podcast when i first started listening (though i never made a note of it before) was the Too Spooky Music, and i didn't like it at all. the reason was that i am, and have been, vulnerable to Getting Spooked about irrational things at night, such that it becomes really hard to fall asleep... and one of the things that has an outsize effect on my level of Spookédness is spooky audio. so if i was watching a video at night and i was worried it would Get Me Spooked, i would just turn the sound off, and it would turn out fine. but obviously you can't turn the sound off on a podcast. and i've been listening to podcasts after work, i.e. after 5pm, and i go to bed at like 8 or 9pm because i'm old. so the way it turned out was that even if the actual subject of the podcast wasn't that scary to me, the music would amplify it in an unpleasant way and make me more likely to have trouble sleeping. also i think most of the episodes would have been fine without the music, or maybe with some less intentionally-disconcerting background music.

this just in: i seem to have totally missed episode 50 on my first listen-through, despite having gone in linear order. bc i'm listening to it now and i've definitely never heard this before. fortunately it doesn't seem to have much of a bearing on the rest of the series, so it's not like i missed any crucial information. tbh the only worthwhile bit was a brief moment of tim being a ham, which was good. i hope i didn't miss any other episodes the first time... still don't know how i managed to miss this one.

the official transcript said [EXTENDED SOUNDS OF BRUTAL PIPE MURDER] ...

so gertrude and leitner WERE played by jonny's parents <:3c i'd thought as much when i saw the cast names but i like that it's confirmed. his mom is a really good actress too. i always find the gertrude episodes to be striking in a certain way

"it's Fine working with your parents. it's Fine." as someone who worked with my mom for like a year i can confirm this

i'm tickled to find that the official transcripts have a sense of humor. i wonder who is behind them. i also wonder, what is the excuse for not having a full set of official transcripts when it is a script-based show? surely you know what is going to be said beforehand, and you have it written down, and if someone ends up saying something different in the final recording, surely it wouldn’t be too hard to give the original script a little edit, and bam! that’s a transcript. i wonder if this approach is not feasible for some reason.

whenever martin reads statements, he says something about jon... whenever he talks to someone, he says something about jon

i think episode 110 is an instance of the tape recorder turning ITSELF off... at the end of the episode. because they walk away, and they say something distantly, and then it turns off. lots of other times, there had to be a diegetic reason for the tape recorder to turn off at the end.

i noticed something which i missed last time, which was that there is a rumor between melanie and georgie and basira that implies that jonathan is asexual. worth noting, i think. [side note added in later: yeah it’s canon. cool]

also i listened to episode 103 again and yes. i had thought-- i had been SURE-- that the person interrogating the traffic cop (using the asky ability) was martin. but it was actually jon. how did i possibly manage that mistake? i'm not great at distinguishing voices, but i'm not THAT bad. the only possible answer: when i was listening to the episode for the first time... i must have been eating a crunchy snack.

"it doesn't have to make sense! alex has to make it sense." (jonny sims re: writing the spiral)

glad to know that jonny sims regrets using his own name for the protagonist. doesn't make a difference either way at this point but yeah

YES i knew episode 100 was improvised. and i see, all the statementers had actually had supernatural experiences, but because the archivist was absent, their statements didn't have the coherence and clarity normally lent to them by the eye (in exchange for becoming cursed). i think melanie or basira actually said pretty much that in the episode itself, but i still couldn't be sure that all of those people had something real to talk about.

"in the same way that tim is dead, michael is helen." good shit

the archivist is canon a bit of a drama queen. the first bullet point in my first tma notes document is vindicated

jonny sims mentions another podcast (apocrypals) that sounds 100% up my alley, so that is appreciated, i will add that to my list i think. (listened to episodes 0 and 1 of apocrypals and i'm heavily struck by how VERY clearly i can hear the smiles in chris sims's voice. i did not know smiling could be so audible, truly.) (listened to quite a few more episodes of apocrypals and it’s certainly entertaining at times. i should’ve been reading along though. maybe some other time)

I DIDN'T LISTEN TO THE SEASON 4 TEASER THE FIRST TIME AROUND.........................................

i must confess something that people who know me well may already know: i hate when stories have a bad ending. an unhappy ending. a painful ending. a hopeless ending. bittersweet is the furthest in that direction i can tolerate. my perspective, which is pretty deep-seated, is that there's no point in getting to know and love characters if you're only going to be hurt by that connection to them when the end turns out to be bad. if i have even a mild inkling that a story is heading toward a bad ending, i make a conscious effort to regard all characters from afar and not develop any strong attachments. this is not so much "how i think all stories need to be," but rather, "the characteristics a story needs to have to appeal to me personally." so i understand that my view is very subjective and mostly based on my own mental weakness. but i can't help but apply it to the media i consume. and the idea that someone would do something like "make characters very human and strongly developed" IN COMBINATION WITH "heading toward a bad end" makes me upset. like, picture a horror movie. think about the characters in a horror movie. with the exception of a main character, if there is one, there's no guarantee that anyone is going to survive to the end of the film... BUT... the characters generally aren't fleshed out and very sympathetic. i wouldn't go so far as to say they're disposable, but you're not SUPPOSED to cry when they die; you're just supposed to get scared. their purpose is as objects of fear, and you never expect or even hope for a happy ending. but in the magnus archives... all i'm saying... is that i would cry if any of the remaining members of the main cast died. and it seems clear that we're not heading to a happy ending. so i'm somewhat afraid, and not in a good way. i don't know how much i can trust jonny sims to give me the story i want, and obviously, i'm not entitled to it.

if your name is jonathan and you want to shorten it, the short form is jon. it ain't john, no matter what the official transcripts say. where'd you get that h, huh? stole it from someone else's name? are you shortening it like JOnatHaN? you can’t just be that sneaky!

i listened to scrutiny again and it hits so hard. now, in heart of darkness, when manuela begs jon not to force her statement, it's really heavy given the direct context of the previous two episodes where we see how compulsion works and how it hurts.

also when jon was talking about how to destroy the dark sun and he was like "i just need to see it," when i first heard it, i assumed he meant something along the lines of, "by seeing it, i will learn how to destroy it." but now i understand that the mere act of the eye seeing it destroys it, because being known is what the darkness is weakest to.

the magnus employees who work in the library probably at least have a LITTLE BIT of a feeling that they work in an almost normal place, given that jon and all his assistants were able to have that impression before transferring to the archives. so i wonder how the magnus library people feel about their institute's director getting arrested for double murder and now the big boss is a completely unrelated ship captain who seems to want nothing to do with the place but simultaneously is trying to continue business as usual

on second listen, listening to jon ask helen when the guilt stops (wrt hurting people in order to feed one's patron fear) is pretty chilling. because it seems like he's definitely accepting that he will have to hurt people, and what he's concerned about is how bad it makes HIM feel. of course, helen then answers with precisely what i just wrote, so...

i should've read the transcript for episode 159 instead of relistening because i forgot that peter lukas's actor got so gravelly and hard to listen to in this one. anyway, time to re-listen to the season 4 finale... then i'll listen to the season 4 Q&As and stuff... and then the new episode. (DOKI DOKI DOKI DOKI DOKI)

i heard in the Q&A that the voice of peter lukas did multiple takes for episode 159?! but it was because of technical difficulties. right. because i can’t imagine the way it turned out being deemed the best take. sorry

ok, things i missed last time i listened to 160: daisy and the other two hunters are missing. also jon mentioned "magnus's body" and martin mentioned "an old man's corpse" and at the time i took this to mean (somewhat unthinkingly) that when jon and martin returned from the lonely, they killed elias/jonah's body. which would be a weird thing to happen "off-camera," so to speak. so i think i must have been wrong? slightly confused. ok, no, i'm now sure that elias survived, so i must have misunderstood. definitely alive.

as martin leaves and jon is about to begin the statement, he sounds so peaceful and satisfied. that's good acting.

by the way, in one of the previous few episodes, i noticed that jonah seems to have body-swapped by switching out his eyes into his preferred body, which i'm pretty sure i missed the first time.

i like that jonny sims checks reddit to see whether people have solved the mystery. that's just a really funny way to do things, sneaking a peek like "hmm how mysterious is my mystery? let's see who has figured it out..." and for the record, i wasn't even close to figuring it out. but to be fair to myself, i didn't try. like i said from the beginning, i started listening with the intent of going along for the ride. plus the mystery had already been solved before i started listening to the series, so it's not like i had a lot of time in between updates to contemplate whether elias was jonah, etc.

JON'S AMERICAN ACCENT FOR THE IONIZED YEAST AD

ALEX WAS THE VOICE OF JARED HOPWORTH?! i mean it was so messed up it could have been anybody but god

ALEX DIDN'T LET GERTUDE CACKLE

i've listened to the bloopers (including a gertrude cackle?) and the season 5 trailer (martin seems slightly cavalier about the end of the world but maybe he's just trying to keep his shit together for jon) and i'm going to listen to the new episode Soon.

final conclusion on rereads/relistens: i had pretty poor comprehension of some important happenings. i’m realizing just how easy it is to mishear/fail to hear exactly what is happening in a podcast when you’re doing other stuff at the same time. there are still a couple things i don’t quite understand, but i think i’ll have a look around the wiki one of these days.

[dahniwitchoflight]

Alrighty, So I got through the beginning prologue of the epilogue and through the first 5 pages of Meat. 

Even though I did stream my stream of conciousness on twitch, im probbaly not gonna be posting that on youtube

Instead what I’ll be doing is writing down my thoughts and notes on tumblr after I stream each time

Speaking of, the next time I will be streaming is tomorrow April 29 at about 8pm EST for about an Hour again here: https://www.twitch.tv/dahnimae

the way my life schedule is now is I can probably do this for about an hour a day after work, so I think I can get through the epilogues quickly in nice digestible chunks

At least for Monday and Tuesday anyway, after that Ill have to make sure im not doing anything else

but anyways, here are the rough thoughts I had during the epilogue, up to the first 5 Pages of Meat:

First off, I got some thoughts from Rose about how the Heroic versus Just death system for immortals is apparently derived from an emotional value of what is “Good” or “Bad”, what is good or what is bad ultimately being derived from what someone or something “feels” is good or bad, so theres some subjectivity in that judgement, which makes sense considering how individuals are able to affect that judgement in homestuck canon, Aranea proposing her own individual morality onto the clock, as well as Caliborn just destroying the clock/idea of dividing things into good or bad

because Rose describes the system of describing what is canon or not canon or outside canon as being less emotional in nature than that of the of the god tier death clock

her exact words are “Good and bad are words that don’t mean anything, beyond a certain threshold of mortal consideration.” its not said outright but its basically implied

Speaking of, so Canon is made up of three “Pillars”

Truth

Relevance

Essentiality

now, truth is easy to distinguish from the other two, it’s the idea of reality. If something is true, that means it really happened. If something is a lie, that means it didn’t happen, or it wouldn’t happen, it does not exist.

Basically an idea of Hope versus Rage

Relevance and Essentiality are a little harder to seperate, and Rose doesn’t do much to seperate them either

but Relevance is tied to an idea of Context, it’s something that has meaning or importance to what is “currently” happening, the idea of the present conversation one is having, the current thoughts someone is thinking about, the object they are currently looking at or viewing, or just the exact point of focus of the current moment in time

something that is irrelevant is something were not looking at currently, something were not focusing on, or something that’s just not improtant or meaningful right now

basically an idea of Light versus Void

Essentiality is then an idea of a “must”, and idea, no matter when or where or how it happened. It Must have happened or it Must happen in the future. Its the one most closely tied to an idea of destiny, fate, or prerequisites for a more down to earth definition. In order to grow a plant, you MUST plant the seed.

The planting of the seed is essential to the plant ever growing in that spot, if no one plants the seed, the seed will never grow, and the plant will never exist. The plant’s entire existence depends upon that seed being planted.

something that is non essential, can still be true and relevant, the plant is a rosebush, or a tree with apples, or has green leaves versus purple leaves etc but if that exact property were to change into a different one, the core requisites of it’s existence does not change, it’s seed was still planted, it still grew into a plant. (within reason of course, but how essential something is does depend upon the context for why its essential, if its essential because its roots hold the ground together in the future allowing another event to happen, then it must be a plant with strong and deep earth fastening roots, what it is and why, is relevant to its essentiality, so the two are interwoven in a sense)

Basically an idea of Time and Space, but Rose doesn’t seperate them as neatly from Light and Void (she could have easily glossed them over into a single “importance” factor, but she didn’t)

it may be that the distinction itself is needed, but not necessarily a requisite to getting John to understand what she meant.

Essential, but not entirely Relevant to her current circumstances :)

but then she goes onto describe the different combinations of those three pillars and what they are and do

Inside Canon = It is True, it is somewhat Relevant, It is somewhat Essential

Relevance and Essentiality being treated as like percentages from 0-100%, inside canon requiring nonzero amounts for both, while Truth is more black or white, it either is True or is not True

Outside Canon = True

so the amount of relevance and essentiality can be nothing, or essentiality zero, but is must be True

and then Not Canon sort of overlaps what might have been two other categories, I guess the distinction of which doesn’t really matter for now, since were dealing with what is canon, not what isn’t canon

Not Canon = Untrue, with varying percentages of essentiality/relevance

I have my own ideas of what happens to other combos within the Homestuck mythos, theyre not complete but basically as follows:

True, Essential, Relevant (Canon Homestuck)

True, Not Essential, Relevant (Paradox Space Comics)

True, Essential, Not Relevant (Hiveswap)

True, Not Essential, Not Relevant (Outside of Canon)

Not True, Essential, Relevant (”Not Canon” = The Epilogues)

Not True, Not Essential, Relevant (”Not Canon” = Fanfiction/Audience Generated Content)

Not True, Essential, Not Relevant (”Not Canon” =  FriendSims)

Not True, Not Essential, Not Relevant (Not Homestuck)

That’s basically how I’m divvying up the majority of distinguishable homestuck aligned content into those three pillars anyway

Rose did also Call Truth the foundation for which Relevance and Essentiality can do their thing, and that did go into how in order for the Friendsims to flip from being not canon to really canon (Hiveswap) it just needs to flip the switch into True

same for Fanfiction of Homestuck/Audience generated content in general, flipping the switch into True makes the Paradox Space content, which is essentially ascended Fanfiction content

and then for things Outside of Canon, they have a tenuous position, because while as long as they remain True, they are still Canon, their Truth value remains conditional upon their values of Relevance and Essentiality, since the closer they dip into zero or negative values, the closer they drag True from flipping to Untrue.

To remain true, or better yet, to integrate into Canon proper, they need to prop up their Relevance and Essentiality values

They need to become the centre of attention, the point of current focus, and they need to have some impact on events in other parts of canon

and all who understand this also understand that characters inside the story don’t get to decide directly how relevant or essential they are to the story, the Audience (and the Author) do

Rose has the idea that the answer lies in the Audience and their expectations, and the audience’s expectations for any story boils down to: the Hero must defeat the Villain.

John is the Hero, Lord English is the Villain. John must defeat Lord English for those outside of Canon to become Canon once again. It’s self explanatory in both ways.

sidenote though, the way John must defeat Lord English is also hilariously self explanatory in both ways.

John will use the cursor Juju to defeat Lord English since it is the only thing that can defeat him. John won’t have to think about how to use it or when or where. Since the cursor Juju is essentially just a plot hole that John fills suddenly out of nowhere perfectly and with ease and immediately will solve the problem no real effort needed. 

John will defeat Lord English using the power of a literal Deus Ex Machina. (but a Deux Ex Machina that’s been symbolically hinted at being the secret weapon all along and which the audience is entirely aware will be the thing used to defeat LE it was more a matter of when then How, making it actually a Chekov’s Deus Ex Machina. And I guess the opposite nature of those two things equals out pretty nicely, The Deus Ex Machina is exactly that, an easy and simply solution to all of canon’s ills, but it feels earned instead of handed out randomly like a Chekov’s Gun would feel earned, while simply losing the difficulty of properly using a well set up Checkov’s Gun. Best of both worlds, worst of none)

But,

Different characters seem to have different thoughts on how best to solve the problem. Characters like Dirk it seems

Dirk seems to be operating under a sort of opposite position to Rose, that instead of propping up the audience’s expectations of the Hero, Dirk wants to prop up expectations of a Villain.

Though I’ve only gotten to page 5 of Meat, it seems pretty clear that Dirk’s intentions are to make either himself or Jane a Villainous character.

The reason being is because he may be aware that people can stick to stories for various reasons, including, either liking the villain a lot, or wanting the villain to Go Down. 

lots of people like Game of Thrones because of how much they hated Joffrey, I know I was that.

and so far, Lord English hasn’t actually been that much of passionately hated villain? Like that’s pretty clear to the story and characters themselves, why even go fight him? Oh because its technically necessary okay fine whatever I guess

Meanwhile, we have a figure in Homestuck that’s already a pretty untapped source of Passionate Villainy, that covers quite a lot of the bases of canon and not canon, Paradox Space, Hiveswap, Homestuck, Fanfiction, Friendsims (and I wouldn’t be passed saying probably these epilogues as well)

Doc Scratch. 

And Doc Scratch is pretty much a parallel of villainy of Lord English

Because where Lord English seems to physically embody certain characters, Doc Scratch seems to mentally embody them.

Caliborn, Equius, Gamzee and Dirk. 

and with all this talk of Ultimate Selves already happening, what happens when one small part of your ultimate self is tainted by this kind of existence? This being, this apparent ultimate villain, tainted by villainous desires, something you know should be rejected

Do you embrace it fully, and see no difference between this being and yourself, internally incorporating it into your ultimate self (Caliborn)

Do you submit that part of yourself to it? Essentially, “giving up” that part of yourself, excizing that slice of your ultimate self as “someone else’s ultimate self” and therefore cutting off it’s influence “Here have it, it’s yours if you want it”? (Equius)

Does your Soul get torn through it’s middle, split like a broken piece of glass? Half on one side, half on the other. A mirthful broken pair of ultimates. Dissociated from eachother enough to be considered seperate yet two halves of the whole, inseperable yet divided. (Gamzee)

Or do you allow “yourself” to be entirely overwritten by the other? Does one bad apple spoil the bunch? Does it infest and infect, slowly, piece by piece, cell by cell, like a virus spreading, changing, overlapping, until everything that was You, your ultimate self, your essential Being, is no longer what is was.

Will your Heart be Broken Dirk?

You make jokes about cutting pieces off yourself before it’s too late, like it’s the only solution. That piece of you is gone, it’s rotting, and it’s spreading fast. 

But you need someone else to do it for you now. Somehow, right now, you’re not building up the resolve to cut off your own head like you might have done before. Have their insidious roots taken hold in you that deeply? 

Destroy “Yourself” or be Destroyed by Yourself Dirk

But I guess it’s different when you’re just cutting off a piece of flesh representing “you” 

Are you more hesitant to cultivate or destroy your ultimate self itself? To suddenly force yourself to decide what kind of person you are? How does a computer program itself while it’s running? 

Ignorant of that fact that everyone is constantly doing that to themselves all the time with the choices they make, what they choose to do, or the kinds of people they decide to be?

People decide who they ultimately are with their own choices, they may not have access to directly fiddle with their ultimate selves as if it were a physical being under a microscope, but what most people do or what Dirk has the ability to do are functionally identical. He’s just overthinking it and getting too caught up in the pretentious philosophy of it all

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

Fl4k Fl4k Fl4k Fl4k Fl-

i didn’t die i just fell in love with that skill tree creator and have done nothing for the past few days but make skill trees and sleep for 3 hour intervals. im very excited for the gameplay on Wednesday but oh man oh me oh my i gotta catch up on a lot of posts lol

tl;dr: Fl4k is a badass. Stop misgendering them or I’ll show up at your home at 3am local time every time and then eat your spine. Bonus: Mr. Chew being an ‘Eridian skag’ is probably due to some funky mutation from eridium/slag/eridian stuff. Kinda like how Threshers have the ability to make singularities because they are native to Elpis, which is a big ol’ Eridian base (which i totally addressed in this post lol). I also gave my opinion on Fl4k’s skills in general, if you’re interested in that. Overall, a very awesome trailer! Definitely lived up to the hype.

i said it before, this trailer was one of the best ones. definitely #2 for me, Zane is still at #1 because i actually laughed during it. the music in this one is definitely the best out of all 4 tho. seems like they’re all variations of the same song, i like this one best. I need this soundtrack sooo bad.

also i know probably no one else following this blog watches one piece but like

that first footstep with the studded boot and the sound effect immediately flung me back to katakuri. god katakuri was a badass. i was so excited to see that fight animated.

mr chew spinning around is my favorite thing ever. i love that you can tell the personality of the pets just from watching the intro. 

i know fl4k is like a real badass in this trailer, but i get the feeling they’re going to end up being at least a little soft for their pets. i mean... they have stuffed animals of them ffs.

so... we’re near Sanctuary-III in this trailer? I gotta keep my eye out then. i also want to see if that one claptrap area guess i had is correct or not... this looks like an entryway for the garage so im guessing i wasn’t, but let’s seeeee

there is a raised bit up and to the left

also im wondering if this means we’re going to have to rescue ellie from the CoV.

hmmmmmmmm

hmmmmm i don’t think the signs match up.

mr chew is the goodest boy. im so glad we can pet/interact with him!! i want to know what the names of the other pets are

also, a bit off topic but

i could have sworn fl4k’s jabber was cryo/shock. it was blue, wasn’t it? i wonder if they changed it or if it’s skill upgrades change its color. i thought the upgrades just gave it better guns.

yeah it was! i guess possibly upgrading it with the guns gives it a new color scheme? maybe? this could be the gunslinger upgrade!

it looks like their jabber went through the most design changes out of all of the pets. that or this is yet another upgrade (since each pet has 3 states). maybe this is the beefcake version.

‘bitch’. i love how expressive fl4k is with just the eye. very well done.

ohhh you know what that building is in the back?

[we’re near the intro to the game!]*

and tbh i don’t think this place has the building for Ellie’s Scrap in it... i don’t see it anywhere. maybe this is the actual scrapyard and the building is on the other side?

not quite sure tbh. but at least we know this place may also be near sanc-iii, just maybe not the same area as the actual Ellie’s Scrap.

i mean... there IS a shitload of cars everywhere. i wouldn’t surprised if it’s near her garage cause it looks like a scrapyard.

but also where in the fuck are all these ‘normal’ looking cars coming from?? it’s not like we see them being used on pandora. all the ones we see in bl1/2 are clearly dilapidated and rusting. big thonk. at least the vans/busses kinda make sense.

oh yeah that is definitely the same building. [it’s the recruitment center!]*

this scene with the rakk is my favorite out of all the trailers. so fuckin cool

i do hope the jabber goes back to being blue at some point. i like the red design too, don’t get me wrong, but i much prefer the glowy blue. it’s my favorite color and you guys know i love glowing things 👀

<Huge Selection!!!> lol

cat/doggo/monkey. mr chew is my favorite pet but i love the jabber panting like a dog lol

i never knew this is where spiderant mouths were

i always assumed they were below that... f r e a k y

“he likes to chase cars”

fl4k probably took them to the scrapyard for this exact reason ngl. fl4k being a big softie to their pets confirmed

(also, notice how fl4k uses ‘he’ for mr chew. it’s almost as if they understand the concept of gender, chose their own pronouns, and your argument that they only are nonbinary only because they “don’t understand yet” is invalid! Fl4k is canonically nonbinary and uses they/them/theirs pronouns as confirmed by both SungWon Cho and their in-game skills. 

Now that you know, use they/them/theirs for Fl4k or get off my blog. Because by not doing so, you are disrespecting the devs’ wishes for this character AND the nonbinary people who find representation in them and I won’t support that. if you feel like arguing your reasons to purposefully misgender them even after knowing this, please DM me so I can block you. thanks! 

For those of you out there actually making an effort: mistakes happen, especially if Fl4k is the first NB person you’ve learned about. Just make sure to correct yourself then move on, and we’re okay. Everyone has to learn sometime and it’s better to put in the effort than not care at all. It will become second nature.)

Fl4k is such a badass, they really are way different than i expected (personality-wise), but i am not complaining. gearbox knows me better than i know myself, so i know i’m going to end up loving Fl4k anyway. ProZD did such a fantastic job, i honestly did not recognize him at first! i can tell with certain words now, but wow i am blown away. 

i hope we’re able to climb that bird’s nest lookin’ thing in the back. it would be perfect for sniping and/or placing ur clone for maximum coverage.

seriously, what a badass.

idk i feel obligated to give my opinions of Fl4k over here since they were recently released. I am digging them 100%, tho i was kinda surprised (not in a bad way) they’re not as... i guess soft as i was expecting from their character design with the plushes and the face on the backpack and the smiley face pin, but i imagine that’s different when they’re interacting with their pets. im super curious to see how this VH group’s dynamic is going to go. 

mechanically, their skills seem perfect for people who loved sniper Zer0 and in general Mordecai, with a splash of Salvador tossed in for good luck. I am a dirty melee Zer0 main and i prefered Phasewalking over Bloodwing (altho i still play mordy bc he’s best bl1 VH) so, while I am definitely going to give Fl4k a go, they’re not my main bl3 Vault Hunter, that’s reserved for Zane and his lovely ability to befuddle enemies and run around. Funnily enough, I’m not even a fan of pet classes, so Fl4k being second in my play order is pretty funny. Tho, yeah, Amara being last is also pretty weird. I guess I don’t necessarily enjoy melee, I just enjoy messing with the bad guys lol

ohh, also, I am most interested in the upgrade for mr. chew that gives him the ability to create singularities and is called ‘Eridian Skag’. 

so I’m not saying my theory that the threshers on the moon were connected to Eridians was right, I’m just saying they’re the only form of wildlife we know that has a singularity ability (outside of Mr. Chew, apparently). 

im just saying gearbox, you should hire me to write your deep lore for you cause i’d do it for free

im wondering if we’ll be seeing skags with wormhole abilities in bl3. maybe the constant exposure to slag is starting to mutate them further beyond just elemental bonuses (on badass skags). We know Maya’s phaselock has a singularity ability (so does Amara’s phasegrasp), and that is sorta ‘occurring naturally’ (you know, as natural as siren powers can get) unlike the singularity grenades we encounter which use our known technology. plus, uh, whatever happened to the destroyer’s eye in TPS that made it create a singularity/wormhole by injecting it with a fuckload of slag. that probably has something to do with this as well.

but geez i really hope mr. chew is okay with being all slag/eridium-ed up. i guess being badass elemental skags doesn’t appear to hurt them, just make them more powerful, unlike humans. maybe that has something to do with sentience, if slag/eridium/eridian stuff actually is driving bandits crazy. could explain why/if the jabber doesn’t get an element like the skag (eridian skag) and spiderant (fire) do, since they’re described as semi-sentient...

anyway.

Fl4k is cool. Definitely a neat trailer- my second favorite for sure- and the skill tree drop blew me away because i was not expecting it. im expecting a lot of Fl4k mains in the first few weeks of gameplay because they look like a lot of fun!

EDIT: i was wrong, in the newest IGN vid, it turns out we ARE near the recruitment center, because that IS the recruitment center

they gave them little orange flags! good to know!!

[franeridart]

are you going to draw more of that lovely erasermic? :o

Unless I find reasons to stop shipping them in the near future, then sure~ as I said, I really like that ship

Anon said:i love it when you draw chris and josh, you should do it more!! Your oc's are great!!

THANK YOU! I’m really really happy to hear you like them! I draw them just as much as I wish to, tho haha

Anon said:THANK YOU FOR BLESSING US WITH MORE CHRIS!!

Anon said:Honestly I love your ocs so much! I like seeing your fanart because you really flesh out characters we don't get enough development of, but I really love seeing your ocs. I can tell you love them and enjoy drawing them just by looking at it, and that makes me love them even more! You're a wonderful artist!

SOB thank you!!!!! holy heck!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;O; I can’t believe how much love my kids get hahaha I’m so so grateful aaahhhh!!!!

Anon said:Okay, so I was just going to tell you how great your comic is (and it is), but I just read your last ask to that anon, and I'm sorry, but deku didn't do nothing to gain his quirk? Like, what? He risked his life and almost killed himself trying to say his exfriend/then bully? That isn't just "being nice"? He didn't know all Might would save him? He risked his life even though he was powerless just to help another person? He earned the quirk, all Might said so in the second episode, like, what?

Since you don’t seem to want a polite and civil exchange of opinions on this, and are actually being incredibly rude here (whether you meant for it or not, I don’t know) I hope you won’t mind me keeping this as short as I can. All Might worked in the beginning of the bnha manga as a textbook definition of a deus ex machina, came around, solved an otherwise unsolvable plot point out of the blue bending the laws that had just been established for that universe, and Deku literally (literally) didn’t have to go through any conscious trial, soul-search or any other self-aware journey with the intention of fixing his own problem. All he did was to be heroic and to be quirkless, which for him are circumstances since those are innate traits of his character. And the only singular thing he has is that he’s quirkless, his heroic personality is shared by all of UA (Mina acted in the exact same way in Kirishima’s backstory as he did to save Bakugou, didn’t get any cool op powers out of it)

All Might was supposed to give OfA to Mirio, the literal most heroic character in bnha, a boy who had been working his ass off to become a proper hero since he was a child, but instead he found a quirkless kid and decided that he deserved a chance to become a hero too. I’m not saying that’s not true, or that Deku didn’t deserve it. I’m saying that he didn’t actively or consciously do anything to gain that power. He simply acted in a way true to his self, and that was it.

I’m gonna have to make present to you that the next time I get an ask with that tone in my inbox I’m blocking you without answering. I’m not here to be called an idiot by the first random stranger I find online, if you want a conversation with me all I’m asking is for you to be polite, that’s not too much at all in my opinion.

Anon said:Your last BakuShima comic was so cute!!! AAAAA!! 💖

Thank you!!! I’m super happy you liked it!!!!!! :O

Anon said:I love you. So much right now. Can I give you a virtual hug because I swear

I dunno what I did to deserve this but SURE *holds u back*

Anon said:do you think you'd ever sell any minajirou merch? (maybe like the one with the flower background) because if you do i would buy 20 (not literally but,, i think you get the point) Sorry if this sounds annoying or anything! im just curious

Not annoying at all!!! If I remember right the one I posted was a bit small tho, I’ll have to see if I can work with the size in a way that would fit the default redbubble dimensions... if I can’t I’ll be sure to make the next one big enough to fit, tho!!!! And thank you for wanting to buy my stuff!!!!! :O

Anon said:I'M NOT THAT ANON BUT I CAN HELP W MOMOJIROUS & yes we totally agree they're fuckin gay and canon there's no doubts here. SO anyway I at least see them liking in each other exactly what you said- they have what the other lacks (or thinks they do), and still find the other to understand them and be interested in them in every sense of the word, also tol and beauty and smol and cute are def the first thoughts about each other, damn maybe I should have thought about word limit I need more space

Awwww anon I thank you for trying to explain to me why they work!!! But that’s not the problem I have with it at all haha I understand the ship on a superficial level perfectly, that’s why I ship it! I just can’t seem to find myself in the relationship anywhere, so empathizing with it comes harder than it does when it’s MinaJirou haha

Anon said:you draw kirishima's eyes so pretty I can't look away from them

THANK YOU Kirishima’s eyes are super pretty in canon, I’m so so happy I can portray that in my style well enough!!!!! :O

Anon said:Ok, sorry for going through ur hq!! tag sjeow, oh gosh I love ur art and ur art style and I love the way I draw the boys !!!! Aaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!! Thank u for blessing my night!!!! I hope something makes ur day the way going through ur art *cough* again *cough* made my day!!! (Also a question: what's ur second fave ship from hq!! after bokuroo?? )

MATSUHANA :O and thank you so so so so much for liking my stuff!!!!!!! I hope you’re having a great day today too, anon!!!

Anon said:I love you Fran, but I completely disagree with what you told the last anon about the idea behind bnha. You had me with the positivity concept, and I would also love it if eri could fix mirio and nighteye, but the rest of that was just so far off to me; and probably for many other fans in this community. Like, first, a story does not have to be the level of snk or dgray man to have bad things happen. That is how all story telling has been since the beginning of time.

A good narrative story is never straight sunshine and happiness throughout, even if it doesn't involve death. People don't just enjoy the bad things that happen in a story because it's realistic or because it's sad, they enjoy it because that is how a story and it's characters grow. They make mistakes and learn from them; these moments help the characters change and pushes them forward through every new obstacle. 

 It helps drive them and gives their stories/actions/ideals meaning and gives the audience a reason to care. And that is where I wonder if we are even reading the same story, because this concept is shown throughout the entirety of bnha. It is no where near the "positive-to-a-naive-point" you seem to believe it is. The story starts off with a weak, defenseless deku being beaten by his once best friend?

Like, I really don't want to sound condescending, but I don't understand how you could come to this conclusion. Bakugou has an inferiority complex from hell and suffers constantly from his own inner turmoil, todoroki has an an abusive father with a horrid childhood, iida's brother/idol was paralyzed and almost killed, shigaraki unknowingly killed his parents as a child, toshinori may still be alive, but all might (the hero) is gone to the world forever,

eri was used and experimented on HER ENTIRE LIFE, believing she was a disease to the world and could only cause suffering. I could go on for pages about the suffering these characters have ALREADY gone through- but that is okay, because the story is better for it. Because we as an audience wouldn't have cared nearly as much for deku's gain of one-for-all, if it wasn't for the trials and turmoil he faced his whole life living as a quirkless child;

Bnha is a positive story, but it does not rely solely on positivity to get by. It is a story about determination; to push back against adversity, to go on even in the face of the unknown or impossible; even if fate itself is against you. It's about climbing your mountains and beyond that, dare I say, beyond plus ultra. It's is not trying to adhere to its genre, it's is trying to be everything the genre could be and more, and as succeeded thus far.

Which is why I can understand the disappointment from the last anon, because solving everything through friendship and "hand holding" has become a norm in this genre specifically- and bnha is anything but quick and easy ways out.

Sorry if this is long, and I really hope you don't take this as an attack against you or your opinion. If that is all bnha is to you, and if that is how you perceive the show, who am I to say you are wrong. But I hope you understand what I have said at least, because you still are a huge inspiration to me as an artist and in this community. Hope the rest of your day goes alright.

Alright, first off, if you don’t want to come off as condescending try and maybe don’t be condescending. I’m nearly sure you didn’t do this consciously, considering how you ended the rant, but going “are we even reading the same story” when you supposedly want a civil exchange of opinions is the worst thing you could do ever. You pretty much said “I don’t wanna disregard your opinion but here is a list of reason why you’re wrong and I’m right”, please next time you mean to keep it civil try and avoid that, because that sounds just as bad as you’d assume.

Second, I thank you for the recap of all the tragic backstories bnha gave us, but my answer was about conclusions to arcs, not beginnings. I literally never once said that bnha is a happy-go-lucky story from start to end, I only said it made an habit of reaching for the best possible conclusion it could ever go for by the end of every arc up until now.

“The story starts off with a weak, defenseless deku being beaten by his once best friend”, sure (aside from the “once best friend”, Deku and Bakugou were never friends to begin with, please do reread the second Kacchan vs Deku for Bakugou’s view on their relationship) that’s how the story starts, and it ends with Deku with the strongest quirk on the planet, mentored by his childhood hero, with a civil and friendly rivalry with his childhood bully, on his way to become the number one hero, happy and loved and respected. “”Bakugou has an inferiority complex from hell and suffers constantly from his own inner turmoil” again, sure, and he could have given in to it and become a villain or let his terrible personality just become worse and worse, every single bad thing happened to him could have made him closer to a bad guy or given him good reasons to go against the heroes, and instead he’s working to become better, is loved and cherished, has friends that will build him up and care for him and risk their lives for him, and is actually in a way healthier place than he was in the beginning. “Todoroki has an an abusive father with a horrid childhood” SURE and now he’s got his mother back, he’s learnt to be the bigger person and put distance between himself and his father to instead use him to reach his own goals, is happy and has friends and, again, he’s supported and loved and is in a way happier place than he was in the beginning. “Toshinori may still be alive, but all might (the hero) is gone to the world forever” yes, and in any other manga the reveal would have brought a whole damn lot of drama and people calling him a fraud and turning against him, but instead that scene is the most heartwarming one in the whole manga, the whole world supporting and loving him and yelling his name to cheer him on

I could go on, but I think I made it pretty clear? Every single arc, be it a character arc or a story arc, starts tragic to end up with the most positive outcome you can have for it. There isn’t one arc that has had a tragic conclusion yet. So is it really that weird for me to think it’s believable and not surprising at all that Eri’s story, for however tragic it might have started as, could also have a happy ending? That this manga never tried to present itself as one in which things can and will turn out for the worse?

I’m not even sure exactly what your incredibly long ask was about, man. What were you trying to prove to me? Which part of the answer I gave were you trying to disprove? You just went on about how sad everyone was at the beginning of the manga as if that proved somehow that Horikoshi isn’t actively working to give everyone the happiest future they could have. 

A recap of my answer is: “I personally don’t mind Eri having a fix-it quirk because it fits well in Nighteye’s plot and falls perfectly in line with how every other arc has turned out for the best up until now”

And you came at me with an eight asks long rant that can be summed up in “you’re wrong because people in the beginning of the story were sad”

Listen. I’m always open to conversations about different opinions and takes on a story. But, again, I’m gonna need you to be polite about it and open to an equal exchange. Simply going at the end “I hope you won’t feel attacked” and “have a nice day” isn’t enough if for the rest of the rant you talked to me as if you were assuming I’m an idiot. And I’m actually gonna need you to properly read my answers before trying to follow up with them, next time. Please. I don’t have the time to rephrase my answers sixty times just because people keep answering without actually reading them.

[thedegenerateasexual]

another big old fuckin rape warning jfc

incest warning too i guess? lmao this book

AN ENTIRE FLASHBACK CHAPTER im not ready

four days after the first encounter and kate hasn't made another move - "But she hadn't moved from the lifeguard perch all week, hadn't even spoken to him. She'd just watched him like a hawk, gaze trained on him, as he'd stroked through the water. One by one the other swimmers had left, and he'd remained behind, torn between disappointment that she hadn't done it again, and complete and utter relief that she was staying away from him."

and then she does: "He swam lap after lap beneath her scrutiny. Then, just as he did one last flip-kick and headed for the stairs in the shallow end, he felt the vibration of her approach in the water. And then she was swimming alongside him. He couldn't believe it. He didn't know what else to do except to keep swimming. What was he supposed to do? ... He thought about all those human, adult things that he hadn't done, that she obviously had—get a job, have a car..."

so then they stop swimming, and she takes his hand:

She smiled at him, much more shyly than he would have expected. She looked down, then peered up at him through her lashes.

"What you must think of me," she murmured.

His heart was pounding so hard he was sure that she could hear it. He had no idea what to say to her, and he also had no idea how to get out of the pool without embarrassing himself.

Except . . . he didn't want to get out of the pool. He wanted to kiss her.

"There's something about you," she whispered. "I've been thinking about you all week. I tried to stay away. I mean, you're a student and I'm . . . well, I'm not a teacher. But I'm close. To being a teacher."

She swirled her fingers through the water. "And this really isn't my style, you know? I don't come on to men like this."

Men. She thought of him as a man. He licked his lips, completely tongue-tied.

what kills me about this is that this is what he does in the show when confronted with kate, or other things that make him uncomfortable (jennifer) - when derek can't think of the right thing to say he goes dead fucking silent. he just plain stops talking. & i'm like devasated at the idea that it's a lifelong habit 

and then, this is the most manipulative part:

"I wish you'd say something," she murmured. "I'm kind of dying right about now. I'm sorry if I misread your intentions. I won't bother you again."

His intentions? Misread them? He was baffled. But then he thought about all the looks he had thrown her way. How he'd glanced up at the lifeguard tower every time he'd made a turn to head down the lane. Maybe he had been sending out signals.

THAT'S TEXTBOOK GASLIGHTING JESUS CHRIST HE'S SIXTEEN

it gets worse! she "assumes" he has a girlfriend and pretends to be all shocked when he says he doesn't because he's "so handsome and all" and then says "look this is happening in such an awkward way i dont mean to crowd you im just drawn to you i cant rly explain it" exCUSE me oh my god and then adds "but i don't want you to think i'm just after, well, YOU KNOW" THAT'S WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE but he's sixteen and never had a girlfriend so he doesn't know any better!!!!

so she asks if he wants to go for coffee and show her around and then adds "we'd have to be careful bc outsiders wouldn't understand" i'm pretty sure they'd understand just fine :///

like i knew it was like this but im still so outraged on his behalf jesus

and he's thinking about how he doesn't know any coffee places in beacon hills bc he spends most of his time out of the community but SHE says:

"I think we're both having the same thought," she murmured. "Privacy."

Privacy, as in being careful not to be seen together while they were hanging out? Or privacy as in . . . oh, God, was she serious?

"So we can get to know each other." She pondered a moment. "Would you think I was too forward if I invited you to my apartment? Just for coffee?"

and he's like panicking running through his options bc he wants to go but he's supposed to meet laura and there's only one car - she offers to drive him home, and oh, wouldn't she just love to know where the hale house is - but eventually he just says he needs to check in with his sister first - and she's like, "laura hale? oh dont be startled i made some discreet inquiries about you" and it doesn't trip his creep radar bc he doesn't have any life experiences but holy fuck that's like right next door to stalking

as an aside i don't like how they use wolf as a verb in this book it's weird - he began to wolf, his eyesight wolfed - like nah. no thanks

uhhhhh so derek asks laura to pick him up in 3 hours and she's like "whats in it for me" and he's like "i wont tell dad i saw you frenching josh" JOSH THEIR COUSIN??

the exact words were josh was peter's sister-in-law's kid

that's, uh

i mean that means peter's brother's kid, then, right? which means laura and derek's blood cousin???? alright then

oh god kate came in the locker room in JUST A TOWEL while he was talking he can't get a minute away from her

laura's like "ur gonna go do something slutty with a human aren't you" THIS IS CONTRADICTING SEASON 1 CANON LOL derek never told anybody about kate! laura is super weird in this book if my 16yo little brother was about to go sleep with a teacher i would never be so chill about it

Oh, sweetie, getting your attention is like shooting fish in a barrel, Kate thought as she drove Derek in her car to her apartment. It was across the street from a bar, which, from her point of view, was convenient for when she wanted to hang out with the grown-ups. She was wearing a pair of jeans, heeled boots, and a black low-cut cashmere sweater. I can practically hear you slobbering. It's like you're a big puppy dog and I am a juicy steak.

this dialogue.......

i wasn't like, having the worst time reading this book, it wasn't actually that bad, but jesus

oh my god

"The thrill of this new hunt raced through her. The euphoria of the chase. She never, ever got tired of dangling herself in front of males of all kinds. It was no accident that in ancient Greece, the deity in charge of the hunt was a goddess—Artemis. Beside her, Derek "Aquaman" Hale had his head resting on the back of the seat and his eyes closed. He was really good-looking. This was not going to be the most difficult thing she'd ever done in her life."

good GOD 

so she offers him a drink, and starts with coffee, but quickly escalates to wine: "I like to have a little something to unwind after I'm at the pool, you know? Lucky thing I live across the street from a bar." She said that to goose him a little, remind him she was a woman, with a woman's needs.

and that he's sixteen.

now she's talking about how she doesn't even know if derek and the hales are the wolf pack she's looking for: She had her orders, but she had to be sure. Kill werewolves, and you were a hero. Kill people, and you were a mass murderer. The group she was involved with had detected werewolf activity in Beacon Hills, and she just had a feeling about the Hales. Of course, there were several other large families in the area that might make up the pack she was seeking. Derek's furtiveness and hesitation might have nothing to do with her assignment. There were reasons other than being a werewolf for not wanting to bring home someone who was way too old for you. It hadn't dawned on him to question the motives of a pretty woman who was coming on to him. He believed what he chose to believe.

apparently she has some tragic backstory w/ this? "Menwerewolves and humanswere so simple. They always assumed you wanted them. Some fat man on a couch burping and watching cage matches? Oh, yeah, you wanted him. A guy who threw you around the room and accused you of cheating on him? Oh, yeah, you wanted him. Like a hole through your heart. But the good one? The one that you really did want? A flash of rage roared through Kate, but she kept it at bay. She could feel it trying to take over, like a wolf scratching at her door. Rage was not her enemy. Rage got the job done. In ancient Greece—land of Lycoan, said to be the first werewolf—men who pissed off the goddess Artemis were ripped to shreds by her hunting dogs. Several times a day, Kate dreamed about ripping various people to shreds. Of course, she never acted on it. She left that for others much less able to control their savagery." see, like, if derek wasn't 16, i could buy bad men in her life leading her to want to use men like this, but derek is a boy and she talks continuously about how innocent he is, so like...no slide

i know i'm just doing a lot of copypasta rn but it speaks for itself: "She watched as Sweetie Derek politely moved a packing carton off her sofa and sat down. What a body. Still boyish, but with the sweet promise of a truly splendid man. If she was right about the Hales, Derek would never become a man. Just as he wasn't really a boy. He was a monster hidden inside a human disguise." that aligns pretty well with the "they're all just a bunch of dumb animals to me" shit she talks in 1.11, also, "Sweetie Derek," this is so horrible

she finally pours them wine and leans against the counter to "give him a view" - "She waited for his response. He was staring at her body. Wanting her. Intimidated by her. She loved it." like this is SO BAD AND EXPLICIT she really does just love that he's young and unsure it's FUCKED

so then we switch to derek pov, and they eat like a light lunch of sandwiches with a long awkward silence, and he does a lot of internal monologuing about how cool it would be if she could come home and meet his family and be her mate

which like...i know how teenagers are but he met her five days ago. tbh real grooming, which is definitely what she's doing, takes longer than that, but i guess we were going for brevity here lol

(in this book derek's dad is the alpha? but in season 3 talia is, so i guess they changed werewolves then to be matriarchial like hunters)

like, she's asking him questions about himself - lucky number, favorite color - she asks him if he believes in fate. he keeps clamming up and she keeps trying to get him to talk so she finally asks about his swimming and he blurts out that there's just so much pressure, even though he can't really tell people about his "double life" and she like IMMEDIATELY responds with "yeah ofc there is hs is so rough like the ppl you have to hang out with some are still like babies and some are all rown up and ready for the real world like you" like...this is classic grooming techniques

and he's like flattered and think she's mega hot but he's also really nervous, and when she leans into his space and asks if he's ready: "He set down his sandwich. His heart was about to burst out of his chest. His body was quivering and trembling. He felt as if he were burning up." and he does say yes so i assume they banged but THANK god the chapter cut to black

[hiruma-musouka]

Hi! This is for the ask meme

Im sorry it’s in submissions [actually having this as a submission made this so much easier actually], but i cant find the fanmail button and i’m on mobile D: (plus it’s a 500 words part, i cant fit it in the ask box, [Following Dreams] because its amazing , ok here goes

[I’ve never done a commentary so this should be a learning experience. Hopefully no one loses too much respect for me along the way.]

He moved all the papers into a pile on the table, settling back down to do just that when the page with his ‘complaints’ about Mad'ra slipped onto the floor. [I think at this point in the fic I was really winding down and grasping for “Ok, but how do I end this monster.” Tobirama listing out things on paper was something I was debating about doing in real life.] He picked it up, considered it, and then tore off a specific line towards the bottom. He set it on fire [thank god for moments of brilliance in hindsight, I made up that apple moment as a sacrificial right purely to give Madara something to do with his hands earlier and it paid off here to let me reintroduce him. Also, Tobirama sending a God a written complaint is so him.] as he stood up to find the remote, but…

“Oh for gods sake,” he scowled, jerking up a hand to grab the TV control that just launched itself at his head. [Throwing things at Tobirama’s head randomly was fun. It also served as a subtle way to shows things are changing for him > his magic’s shifting and growing (or maybe it’s just the magic he has access to is increasing. The exact effects of becoming demigod-ish never got pinned down because it was irrelevant.) ]

“Excuse me!“ Mad'ra growled in his ear. [Madara honestly didn’t intend to surprise the hell out of Tobirama here, but Gods also don’t knock so Tobirama’s undoubtedly going to have this happen a few more times in the future until he gets better about detecting proximity.]

Tobirama jolted, foot lashing backwards on instinct and going right through insubstantial legs. He whirled into a spinning attack, pulse racing with adrenaline and magic surging with irritation.

He wasn’t sure who was more surprised, him or Mad'ra, when his elbow actually impacted. [This was also really fun. Also, these two have personalities that are… semi violent? Forceful? They just don’t strike me as the type of people who shy from violence or force or automatically refrain from using it regardless of the setting. I don’t think I said that well. Anyway, casual badassery for the win.]

Tobirama watched the God tumble backwards onto the couch with a breathless grunt, remarkably pleased with this turn of events [Tobirama is occasionally petty] despite the fading ache in his elbow and the fact that Mad'ra’s hard landing might have just finished off that old couch. The back of it certainly hadn’t been that crooked before he hit it. [I thought the breaking furniture was a nice touch actually. Let’s carry over the property damage that these two easily inflict when they wish.]

"I think Nono'o Jinxed me [In hindsight, I love the idea of Jinxes and Word Magic, but that has to be something that occurs semi-unpredictably or life would be such a pain.],” Mad'ra bitched to himself before glaring at him, not bothering to get up from his sprawl on the couch as he rubbed his sternum. “That was not the skill I thought you’d pick up first!” [I… do not recall what Madara thought he’d pick up first behind enhancing physical abilities to affect otherwise immune beings. Boiling water? It might have been boiling water magic. Incidentally, can you imagine how much more terrifying Tobirama would be in canon if his ability to summon giant water jutsu without a source expanded to being able to boil you alive with said water? I’m talking superheated, near volcanoes, should-probably-have-evaporated-at-this-level-of-atmospheric-pressure temperatures here, not a pot of water on a stove. Ouch.]

“Didn’t anyone teach you basic manners about not invading people’s homes?” Tobirama asked, putting the remote back on the table and crossing his arms. [This is the sort of thing Kawarama means when he tells people that all of his brothers are crazy. People think he’s just teasing Itama when he says it (which he is because teasing Itama a hobby for Kawarama), but he is dead serious about it for Tobirama and Hashirama. Tobirama, you questionable idiot, why are you arguing etiquette with the God you just assaulted and have spoken to only a handful of times?]

“Right after they finished accusing me of theft and assault,” Mad'ra replied mockingly, holding up a familiar scrap of paper. His eyes briefly flashed from the current black to glowing fire as sparks flickered in the hair spread messily across the cushions. [I like long hair and it makes this particular imagery very nice in my head. I’m not saying Madara is one of my favorites because of his hair, but it definitely doesn’t hurt.]

It would be pretty stupid to say that to a God, Tobirama acknowledged before promptly telling to Mad'ra fix the couch he just broke. [Tobirama is one of those people who can rationalize doing stupid things based on the likelihood of success or something, I swear. And I think some part of my brain (not the conscious part because this was written with my flying by the seat of my pants through a lot of it) knew that it was important to keep that up, both because of characterization (thank you for being a stubborn person, Tobirama) and also because I couldn’t see an even relationship being built started between these two if Tobirama showed too much deference. Respect yes, giving way no.]

“Are you actually incapable of being intimidated?” Madara asked, giving him a baffled look as he reached up with his right arm to yank the back of the couch upright.

“You did it,” Tobirama pointed out, eying the back critically before reaching over Mad'ra’s prone form to shove at it firmly.

“What are you doing?!” Mad'ra yelped as the couch tipped up on two feet far easier than it should have. [I am so fond of this mental image. It still makes me smirk.] Tobirama quickly put a knee down on the side closest to him to keep it from toppling over and flinched minutely when it thudded back down onto the hardwood floors with all the force added from two grown men weighing down on it.

“… Aren’t humans picky about keeping their dwellings in one piece?” [I just realized that this implies Gods either aren’t picky as a whole or that Mad’ra isn’t a hundred percent positive about current human culture. (Or at least mainstream culture since he knows more about the Nin given they were his people at their height.) The last is true of course, but now I’m considering the sort of misconceptions one could form with people like Tobirama, Hashirama, and Mito as some of your most common reference points, and it sounds like it’s potentially hilarious.] Mad'ra asked, as he looked up at Tobirama skeptically.

“No one refers to you as a God of craftsmanship,” Tobirama said, ignoring how his thigh pressed into the other man’s flank.

“It’s a couch,” Mad'ra snapped. “It’s not a bastion of technological engineering! That was unintentional, wasn’t it? Did you punch me by reflex? You did!” [A trained Tobirama anywhere probably has nasty reflexes when truly caught off guard. The better to stay alive or unaltered by student mistakes. Or conversely, the better to avoid getting caught in giant hugs by Hashirama against his will. 50/50.]

[elspethsunschampion]

Fact or Fiction: Chapter Fourteen

Rated M for abuse, sexual content, and discussion of rape/non-con.  Canon-typical violence.

Summary: It’s Ral Zarek’s sixth year at Hogwarts. And everything would be fine if Jace wasn’t totally occupied with his new girlfriend, to the point where it’s honestly kind of weird, and Ral’s starting to be concerned. Now if only everyone would stop telling Ral he’s just jealous and LISTEN to him…after all, he’s NOT just jealous, right? (Sequel to Send to Sleep.)

Ships: Jace Beleren/Ral Zarek, Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy, Luna Lovegood/Hermione Granger, Nissa Revane/Chandra Nalaar, Elspeth Tirel/Teysa Karlov

A/N: Many, many thanks to @paperclipminimizer for beta-ing and checking my timeline, as well as answering all my questions about Harry Potter. Thanks also to Juri, @dragons-suck, and everyone on Sketchydoodles’ Vorthos server for listening to me rant about this thing as it took shape.

Also available on AO3 and FFnet.

Prologue

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen: Mending Touch

           Jace poked at his food. He was huddled in his cloak in front of one of the many little alcoves in the library. Technically, food wasn’t allowed, but Jace didn’t give a fuck, and the teachers seemed willing to overlook minor infractions on his part right now. Which they damn well should, he thought bitterly, and then felt his stomach turn over. He didn’t deserve special treatment, no matter what anyone said.

           He probably should eat. He was hungry in a sort of distant way, but everything seemed so tasteless that it was difficult to get himself to eat. And Ral still wasn’t awake. He kept asking and asking, but every time he asked he got the same answer, “he’s doing fine, but the nerves aren’t healed yet, it’s better if he stays asleep.”

           How did they know? He’d tried reading everything he could lay his hands on about the Cruciatus Curse, but he’d had to stop doing that after he’d thrown up over a part of the Restricted Section he probably shouldn’t have had access to in the first place. He’d managed to clean it up and leave before anyone found him, but the books hadn’t been happy. Several of them had followed him around for the rest of the day, complaining in rustly, incomprehensible voices.

           Someone shoved a very garish image of a cartoon sandwich into his head. Mirko could have been subtler, but they seemed to be trying to make it easy for Jace to know when someone else was in his head. Jace was very carefully not thinking about the fact that, although it was true that Mirko could get under the protections of his cloak, he was pretty sure he’d heard snatches of other thoughts even from inside. That shouldn’t be happening. That shouldn’t be possible.

           “I’m not hungry,” Jace sighed, out loud. His stomach rumbled. The cartoon sandwich grew eyes and looked at him accusingly. “Okay, I am hungry, but I don’t want to eat.”

           Ral wasn’t eating, after all, Jace thought mulishly. Of course, he was in the hospital wing and getting all of his food magically, but it sounded suitably dramatic in Jace’s head. There was the suggestion of a sigh in the back of his mind, and a cold wind brushed against his neck like a not-quite-corporeal touch. The banishment had left Mirko somewhat less willing to take a solid form. Jace was just glad that somehow the boggart had managed to use their connection to hang onto his memories, in spite of the love potion clouding his mind at the time.

           “Jace?” Jace froze. It was Professor Lovegood’s voice. Pulling the hood of his cloak up, Jace felt for his wand, wondering if he should try out that invisibility charm he’d pulled out of Liliana’s head. Before he could make up his mind, Kallist shot up into the air, spitting lightning in every direction.

           “Kallist, no!” Jace hissed, but it was too late. Professor Lovegood poked her head around the bookshelf.

           “Oh, hello,” she said. “You know, if you get the books some rubbing alcohol, they’ll probably calm down.”

           “The books?” Jace echoed, trying to sound innocent. One particularly irritable one chose that moment to snap closed on his ankle, and he yelped.

           “Yes, I upset them earlier this year, so I’ve tried to make sure I knew the kinds of things they liked.” Jace hadn’t paid much attention during Herbology this year—or any class—so he wasn’t sure if Professor Lovegood usually had that wide, vaguely dreamy smile on her face.

           “Um, I see.”

           “In any case, Hermione—Professor Granger, I mean—sent me to tell you that Mr. Zarek is awake.”

           Jace stopped trying to surreptitiously nudge the book away and looked up at her. It was suddenly difficult to breathe. “He—he is? Is he—okay? Can I see him? Or—does he—want to see me?”

           Professor Lovegood smiled. “He’s feeling much better, although his nerves are just a little oversensitive still, so Madam Pomfrey is trying to get him to stay in bed. I think his exact words were, ‘Tell Jace to get his ass down here, or I’ll soak the entire Hospital Wing.’ You should probably go down, because I think Madam Pomfrey looked like she really wished she could give him detention.”

           Ral was bored. After his first waking hour of lying around in the hospital wing, most of the tingling pain in his nerves had subsided, leaving him slightly achey and very restless. Madam Pomfrey always seemed to force people to stay in bed about five times longer than they wanted to, and Ral was getting really concerned about Jace. Jace had already had issues that Ral didn’t really know how to help, though he thought he’d been getting better. But now—

           Someone knocked on the door. “Who is it?” he yelled irritably. If it was Madam Pomfrey with another foul-smelling potion, he might just “accidentally” have an electrical outburst and shatter the damn thing.

           The door opened a crack. “It’s me,” Jace said, so quietly Ral almost didn’t hear him. “Can I come in?”

           “Yeah, of course.” Ral wriggled upright. “How are you?”

           Jace stopped in the doorway and blinked. Kallist was hovering nervously over his head. “I—I’m fine. How are you?”

           “Aching a little, I guess. I don’t think I still need to be in bed, but you know what the teachers are like. Way too careful about all the wrong fucking things.”

           For another moment or two, Jace dithered in the doorway, rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet in a way Ral hadn’t seen him do in years. Finally, he practically ran across the room to Ral’s bed and sank onto it. “I’m sorry,” he muttered into his cloak. “Oh god, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.” Something wet fell onto Ral’s hand.

           “What the fuck,” he said stupidly.

           “Do you, um—” Jace paused. “Sorry. Just—just a sec.” His voice was wobbling. “Do you want me to leave?”

           “What the fuck, Jace? No!”

           “I’m sorry.”

           “Jesus fuck, why?”

           “For ignoring you. For not listening to you. For not responding to your IMs over the summer, and being a fucking dick to you this whole year. For getting you—for—for—”

           “Oh my fucking god,” Ral said limply. “You were literally under a spell, Jace, what the hell? Do you really think I’d blame you for that? What the shit?”

           The little pile of misery under the cloak tugged at his hair. “You should,” he mumbled after a moment. “I should’ve—”

           “—thrown off the most potent love potion any of the professors have ever heard of, gone toe-to-toe with one of the most powerful dark witches in history, and nearly fucking killed her into the bargain?” Jace blinked at him. “Because you kind of did all that, you idiot.” A tiny lightning bolt from the cloud above him suggested that Kallist agreed with Ral’s assessment. “Now get over here.”

           “Are you—sure?”

           Ral rolled his eyes and felt that strange staticky sensation rise up along the back of his neck again. Ever since he’d woken up with his nerves still twitching and jangling and oversensitive, it had been all too easy to trigger. And for once, he’d discovered there was something he wasn’t in too much of a hurry to research. He really didn’t want to know any more about the effects of the Cruciatus Curse than he already did. Well. Not yet, anyway. He made a mental note to come back to it in a couple weeks. “Yes, I’m bloody sure,” he grunted, and a spark materialized at the tip of one flopping lock of hair and sizzled down onto the sheets near his hand.

           “Right.” Jace took a deep breath and slid down the bed to him. For a moment, he sat still, then he had a hand out and bunched in the hospital robes Ral was wearing. “Oh, Ral,” he said, wearily. And then he was pressing his face into Ral’s chest, and to Ral’s consternation and horror, he was sobbing. “Fuck,” he muttered. “Oh, fuck, I thought—oh fuck, what did I do?”

           You were supposed to hold people when they broke down like this, right? Ral gingerly put one hand on Jace’s back and tried not to think about the fact that he was stupidly oversensitive right now. “You didn’t fucking do anything,” he said, biting his lip because Jace was squirming and that was not fucking fair, universe, that was goddamn fucking cheating. Jace was definitely positively one-hundred-percent not in a good mindset to be dealing with Ral exploding romantic feelings all over him. It could wait.

           No, it can’t, caroled a particularly annoying segment of Ral’s brain as one of Jace’s hands brushed across his collarbone.

           Yes, it damn well can, Ral told it fiercely, but he did press his face into Jace’s hair, because he wasn’t a goddamn saint.

           “Shut up, we’re both fine,” he mumbled angrily. “Also, I have these sweet new stripes in my hair now.”

           Okay, so he actually had asked about those. Is that normal? he’d said to Professor Granger, fingering the long white streak as he stared in a mirror. I look like fucking Rogue, he would have said, except she probably wouldn’t get it.

           It’s been documented in other cases of the Cruciatus Curse, Professor Granger had answered. I don’t believe it’s exactly common, and, no, so far no one knows exactly what causes it. As you might imagine, no one has been exactly eager to do an in-depth study.

           “You look like Rogue.” Jace managed a laugh.

           Right, they’d seen the film together, hadn’t they? Because Jace was still huddled in his cloak, as if he’d never come out again, so he probably hadn’t read Ral’s mind just now.

           “Well, um, actually…” Jace sighed. “The cloak hasn’t been entirely cutting it since I woke up.”

           “Oh. Well, shit.”

           “It’s easier with people I’ve read a lot, and I can turn it off if I focus,” Jace explained. “But it is sort of there if I’m not thinking too hard.” He put a hand to his head. “It’s okay. I’ll be okay. I’ve dealt with worse shit.”

           “You mean like this whole year?” Ral tightened his arm around Jace. “Look, I’ll, uh, I’ll try to keep my thoughts quiet, okay?”

           Jace rubbed a hand over his eyes. “It’s fine. Really.”

           There were huge, dark circles under his eyes. “When’s the last time you slept?”

           “Uh,” Jace replied, staring vacantly for a moment. “Oh—I mean, I was in the Hospital Wing unconscious till a couple of days ago.”

           “Have you slept since a ‘couple of days ago’?”

           He looked to the side. “I tried,” he muttered. “But you were—I didn’t know if you’d be okay—and it was my f-f-f—”

           “If you say it was your fault again, I will punch you,” Ral said. “And then I’ll probably get detention, and that will be your fault.”

           Thank god, Jace laughed at that, though the sound was a little wobbly. “I haven’t really been able to sleep, I guess.”

           “Well, Madam Pomfrey keeps trying to tell me I’m not allowed to set foot outside of my bed, and you clearly need to be in bed way more than I do. So why don’t you stay here and sleep?”

           Jace gaped at him. “I haven’t been sleeping with you this whole semester and you—you want…”

           “I dunno if we’re quite at that stage in our relationship yet,” Ral grinned, getting a frustrated scowl from his friend. “Yeah, yeah, of course I do. How many times do I have to tell you none of this was your fault, I don’t blame you, you’re my best mate, and—and—” also I’m gay and have more than strictly platonic feelings for you and please don’t be reading my mind right now, Jace, because I don’t think I could deal with that on top of everything else, “—and that’s never going to change,” he finished, a little lamely.

           “Ral—I do not deserve you.”

           “No one deserves me,” Ral grinned. “I am too awesome for that. But if anyone did deserve me, you’d be on top of the list.”

           “R-Right.” Jace tugged his hood down, but not before Ral saw the easy blush rising to his cheeks. “Okay. Well. I guess I should try to get some sleep, huh?”

           “You should. You really should.” Ral tried not to reach too much as Jace laid down and slid back against him, but he was pretty sure Jace would have to be deaf not to have heard the low noise Ral made when Jace curled into his front. Thankfully, Jace didn’t say anything; he just took Ral’s hand and pulled it around to his chest so that they were spooning. Not quite how they usually spent the night together, but Ral was definitely not going to complain. Although he wasn’t sure how he was supposed to get any sleep at all.