#hes deffo over 10... we know that

[bl00d1nk]

ꜱʟᴀꜱʜᴇʀ ʜᴇᴀᴅᴄᴀɴɴᴏɴꜱ; ᵈᵃᵗⁱⁿᵍ ᵗʰᵉᵐ

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:

​🇨​​🇭​​🇦​​🇷​​🇦​​🇨​​🇹​​🇪​​🇷​​🇸​: brahms heelshire, patrick bateman, herbert west

​🇼​​🇦​​🇷​​🇳​​🇮​​🇳​​🇬​​🇸​: slashers ofc, brahms lack of hygiene, brahms being possesive, brahms stalking you basically,patrick being a dick, vauge nsfw in patricks, dead people obvi, body snatching, also not read over so if theres any mistakes whoopsies

​🇦​​🇺​​🇹​​🇭​​🇴​​🇷​​🇸​ ​🇳​​🇴​​🇹​​🇪​: first time writing for slashers omds + writing for the first time properly in like a year so teehee also lemme know if you want this for other slashers :PPP also i tried to write this v gn but idk if i acc did so pls gimme suggestions on how to keep everything in my writing inclusive plsss!!! also if ur wondering what "w/" means it just means with im just too lazy to write with teehee

¬𝙱𝚁𝙰𝙷𝙼𝚂 𝙷𝙴𝙴𝙻𝚂𝙷𝙸𝚁𝙴¬

𖦹 stinky

𖦹 i dont mean that in a funny way like this man fucking REEKS

𖦹 this means you will have to get him to wash himself

𖦹 only perk of that is showering n bathing w/ him, its a real big part of your relationship

𖦹 he likes it because hes close to you and it gives him a lot of comfort and feels really cared for if you wash his hair for him + likes the feeling of your fingers massaging his scalp

𖦹 he likes leaving things he thinks you'll like all around the house

𖦹 he found a crusty ass ring he'll think you'll like?KABOOSH!!!!! its on the bathroom counter

𖦹 he also doesn't take too kindly to anyone you talk to that isn't him, he gets really jealous n upset over that

𖦹 this makes him extremly bratty unfortunately

𖦹 prepare for him being in the walls and banging on them for hours on end to piss you off and placing that stupid doll everywhere just to get a scare out of you

𖦹 will literally refuse to do anything for you

𖦹 buttt you can make it up to him by telling him theres nothing to worry about n making him a wee sandwich + giving him kisses, easy peasy squeeze the lemon (im really hoping some of yous got that reference)

𖦹 brahms also likes cuddling

𖦹 a lot

𖦹 you're sitting down reading or on your phone? not without him on your lap nuzzing into your neck having a wee nap

𖦹 you might end up with dead legs by the end of it but hey! it was worth it

𖦹 probably......

𖦹 he just stares at you a lot but dw! not in a creepy way (from his perspective at least), he's just admiring your beauty

𖦹 really likes it when you read to him + it puts him to sleep

𖦹 also loves it when you brush his hair, surprise surprise it also puts him to sleep

𖦹 CLINGY!!!!!!!!! so very very very very CLINGY

𖦹 if you leave the room for a second he will follow doesnt matter if he knows where you're going he will follow

𖦹 gets so upset if you leave during cuddling even if its to pee

𖦹 he will whine n grasp n tug at what you're wearing in an attempt to get you to stay w/ him

𖦹 the time he spends following n watching you could be stalking atp

𖦹 seperation anxiety? he knows her, very well

𖦹 will cry if you leave the house until you come back, n the moment you do he practically jumps you, crying and wailing into your shoulder begging you not to leave him ever again

𖦹 will have no intentions of letting go of you for the rest of the day

𖦹 he also really like sleeping in the same bed w/ you

𖦹 he likes that he knows you're there, you can tuck him in, read to him, cuddle him, give him forehead kisses n comfort him in case he has a nightmare or vice versca

𖦹 n e ways 8.5/10 -1 for stinkyness, -0.5 for well him being him ig

¬𝙿𝙰𝚃𝚁𝙸𝙲𝙺 𝙱𝙰𝚃𝙴𝙼𝙰𝙽¬

𖦹 before i get into this one i actually hate patrick bateman w/ a burning passion for very obvious reasons so i struggled HARD w/ this

𖦹 alr so we all saw that les mis poster in the opening scene so he deffo would bring you along to watch any high end musicals w/ him

𖦹 SKINCARE!!!!!!!!! he has a whole ass ROUTINE which he will explain to you in great detail and explain why the water has to be a certain temp n why this needs to be put on this way n that needs to be put on that way

𖦹 would let you do skincare on him but beware that he will check the entire ingredients list before you put it on his face

𖦹 its rather boring to listen to but he looks so proud of himself while explaining it, how could you not listen?????

𖦹 he spoils you rotten like its acc so bad

𖦹 you wanted those fancy ass pairs of shoes? they're already in your hands

𖦹 you want a reservation at dorsia? you've got one

𖦹 you literally want anything in the world? you'll have it before you even know you want it

𖦹 he obviously doesn't like people apart from himself so when he found the slightest bit of attraction to you he immediatley became infatuated with you and your life

𖦹 why were you making him feel this way? how were you making him feel this way? was it sorcery? was he going insane? yeah

𖦹 suprise suprise this did lead him to asking you out which led you up to here getting whatever you want

𖦹 hes a jealous fucker i can tell you that

𖦹 especially when he sees you within a 6ft distance of paul allen

𖦹 he storms over and makes some passive aggresive comment toward the two of you and then tries to keep himself cool w/ some swanky inner monologue and eventually drags you away because he "needed to talk to you"

𖦹 spoiler alert, he didn't

𖦹 all this leads to is some rather lewd acts back at his apartment as he tries to reassure himself that he's much better than paul allen and taunts you asking if you think paul allen could make you feel this way

𖦹 rants on to you about his music collection and explains how he thinks this song led them to stardom and someone was an idiot for not releasing this and that as a single and not putting these songs in this album and yadayadaya

𖦹 great if you actually are bothered to listen to him rant on for ages horrific if you aren't, gets quite offended if you don't show much interest in his music

𖦹 i get if if you don't tho, its really something...

𖦹 we all know this man is a complete germaphobe so be absolutley horrifically aware of that unless you fancy getting yelled at

𖦹 he love love LOVESS watching texas chainsaw massacare with you, he loves it when you twos just sit there in silence and cuddle while watching people get brutally attacked n chased, how romantic!

𖦹 finds it funny when you grimace or go 'oh my god' at any brutal scene in it

𖦹 touchy

𖦹 v e r y t o u c h y

𖦹 at any public event he always has a hand snaked around your waist or has his arm linked in yours

𖦹 even in is apartment he still has that hand snaked aorund your waist

𖦹 not a fan of kissing bc he's a germaphobe but because he knows were you've been most of the time he dislikes it a little less

𖦹 prefers giving forehead kisses tho as its quick and much more hygenic than lips

𖦹 god that was tough to write but overall, 7.5/10, -2.5 for being himself. i hate him too much to give him a better rating so ja

¬𝙷𝙴𝚁𝙱𝙴𝚁𝚃 𝚆𝙴𝚂𝚃¬

𖦹 i am so horrendously excited to write this because for the last like 4 days i have not stopped thinking about reanimator, i eat sleep breath the franchise, and herbert west is such a giggle so teehee

𖦹 alright if you're not in the science field or have any connection to dan hes probably not going to take an interest in you as you're not one of his areas of interest

𖦹 if you are in the category of herbert wests interests well done! he tolerates you

𖦹 like patrick would notice how weird he felt around you and would probably blame it on 'primal urges' ew

𖦹 he would most likely ignore them until he can't, and it eventually all bubbles over and he just can't resist inviting you to his basement of wonders

𖦹 he just watches you intently the entire time your there much like brahms does, also not in a creepy way (in his eyes) just admiring you

𖦹 he probably goes on a rather detailed explanation of his work and what he did to get here

𖦹 if you ever feel a lil faint abt all that stuff he just puts a reassuring hand on your shoulder cuz hes a lil awkward

𖦹 lowkey enlists you alongside dan to go steal bodies and experiment on them

𖦹 if you ever get attacked by one of the re-animated he literally doesn't leave your side, mainly to see the severity of your injuries to examine the strength of the reanimated and the other tiny bit because he cares for you

𖦹 has shit talking sessions about dr hill w/ you, it mainly consists of him getting rather heated over the fact he plagiarizes his work and ya know the whole 6-12 mins thing

𖦹 is very clingy with you when dr hill is around as he doesn't want him to make any creepy ass remarks about you so he sticks to your side like he sticks to his research

𖦹 really appreciates is when you cook for him as he's a total basement dweller and doesn't leave it for food

𖦹 so lets say you actually did make something for him he would be really surprised and would be rather amused that you care enough to make him something and he'll gladly eat it

𖦹 also doesn't sleep a lot, so if and when he comes up from the basement he will be taking a nap on you

𖦹 speaking of him taking naps, he'll just plonk on top of you when he wants to take a nap so

𖦹 yay!!!

𖦹 like patrick with music herbert will rant on about science to you

𖦹 at any time, like you could be in bed ready to finally sleep and then he starts rambling about the R.E.M cycle and how benificial sleep is for the body yet he gets absolutley NONE

𖦹 isn't very good at expressing affection for you bc he's herbert so those naps and his rants are actually his way of showing he rlly likes you

𖦹 kissing isn't his favourite thing in the world bc of germs and stuff, so he presses quick kisses to your forehead, nose and cheek such a gentleman

𖦹 but, when herberts all whiny and annoyed at life he will be down for a cheeky make out sesh

𖦹 he gets very flustered after it which is pretty funny to watch so he usually distracts himself with science

𖦹 i genuinely couldn't tell you if he would use petnames or not

𖦹 will use your name 99.9999999999% of the time, just maybe will call you darling

𖦹 just maybe.....

𖦹 n e ways dunno what else to write so 8.9/10, -1.1 for being a body snatcher ig

omds that was so hard and I was gonna add more characters but i kinda got lazy but PLEEEAAAASSEEEE lemme know what you guys thought ty :3

[mapsthewanderer]

Caffeine, chemistry and Caleb VIII

Synopsis: The café was supposed to be just another coffee shop. For a law student who enjoys her morning coffee and a shy newbie still learning the ropes, it should have been nothing more than part of the daily routine… But then there’s Caleb.

Details: Another 3000-worder (sorry lol). Non MC!reader as the law student. This chapter features our favorite trio. Light angst, lots of wholesome vibes, flirting, tension, and banter. We’re back at it and… we keep peeling barista booooi. Romcom all the way and deffo not 18+ (go away tumblr)

Parts: part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8, part 9, part 10, part 11, part 12

Tags: @gavin3469 @unstablemiss @i-messed-up-big-time @mipov101 @zukini-01 @ariakamil @zaynessdarling @gojosballsack69

Exhibit A(bsolutely not over him) | Pt. 8

You haven’t stepped foot in the café in two days. What you have been doing is eating Golden Delicious apples until your stomach turned.

And that’s what finally reminded you of something important: You are, in fact, still a law student. And law students cannot afford to tank their entire future over a man with unfairly good forearms, a devastating smile, and an apple charm that clearly wasn’t just an accessory.

Not when it’s obvious now—undeniably, painfully obvious—that he’s taken.

You were never in the running.

You were just… killing time.

And now? You’ve seen the proof.

Time to stop pretending otherwise.

So, you’re buried in case law—mortgages, foreclosure procedures, and the soul-crushing distinction between de lege lata and de lege ferenda.

Except for that twenty-minute break earlier when you absolutely, definitely did not go down a google rabbit hole about psychological testing in aviation training.

… Not to mention the newbie texting you yesterday.

newbie: he’s wearing a navy button-down. i know the case is closed. just thought you’d want the update.

newbie: hair’s messy.

newbie: he just offered someone extra foam with a wink. i’m going to throw myself into the milk fridge to remind myself that this case is closed. sorry.

You’d bitten the inside of your cheek just to keep from grabbing your bag and sprinting there like a woman possessed.

So yeah. Extremely focused. Laser-sharp.

But you had stayed away.

Your highlighter is again uncapped. Your outline is almost legible. You are, objectively, thriving. Eating a sad multigrain bar between paragraphs and chasing it with lukewarm water like it’s a performance enhancer.

And then your phone buzzes.

Unknown number.

You stare at the screen. Don’t open it. Just… hover over the preview.

Unknown Number: hey. don’t you want your caffeine anymore? i can make you something else. de-caf americano. lavender latte. fake espresso with oat milk and ego support. or something worse :3 caleb (got your number from the newbie. hope that’s not a crime.)

You actually stop breathing.

Like, for real. Chest still. Brain blank.

Your heart has the audacity to flutter. Traitor.

You check the time. You should be reading about lien enforcement. Instead, you’re calculating how long to wait before answering so it looks like you’re busy and unaffected.

You add him to your contacts like a normal, composed person.

Then scream internally for a full minute.

Exactly eleven minutes pass before a reply is sent—just long enough to look busy, not eager.

you: wow. illegally obtained contact info and weaponized oat milk? bold strategy, counselor.

He replies immediately.

Barista Boi™ (DO NOT FLIRT): i prefer the term morally flexible barista. you want the latte or not?

you: define “latte.” is this a real drink or a coded trap?

Barista Boi™ (DO NOT FLIRT): yes

You scowl at your phone, biting back a smile.

you: i’m studying.

Barista Boi™ (DO NOT FLIRT): and i’m offering academic support. in beverage form.

you: …is this a bribe?

Barista Boi™ (DO NOT FLIRT): depends. is it working? :3

Of course you don’t answer right away. You make him wait this time. On purpose. Thirty minutes pass. You even get through two and a half pages of your reading before you cave.

you: i could maybe stop by. for like ten minutes. purely for the fake espresso.

Barista Boi™ (DO NOT FLIRT): :D perfect. i’ll be ready. and i’ll make sure the newbie doesn’t rat you out for folding under pressure :P

You glance at your reflection in your laptop screen. You look like someone trying not to smile.

You fail.

——————————————————————————

Ten minutes. That’s what you told yourself.

Ten minutes. In and out.

And yet—you pause outside the café window, checking your reflection checking your reflection like Professor Litt’s about to grade it. Hair? Rebraided. Clean. Tight. Strategic. Lip gloss? Freshly applied. Not too much, just enough to look unbothered. Like you woke up glowing, not panicking about your response time and lack of emojis.

You push the door open.

The bell chimes.

And then there he is.

Behind the counter, in a black fitted tee that fits too well, apron tied low on his waist like it’s a fashion statement instead of a uniform, he’s cleaning the counter. He stretches forward to drag the rag across the far edge, one arm bracing his weight, the other gliding the cloth in wide circles. A vein pops along his forearm with the motion.

Your breath stutters for half a second.

He glances up.

Sees you.

And—oh no—he smiles.

The good one. Slow. Warm. Like you’re the most interesting thing in the room and he’s so glad you walked in.

“Hey,” Caleb says. “You look—”

A pause. His eyes scan you, just briefly.

“Really good.”

Your pulse skips like a badly written objection.

“Studying looks good on you,” he adds, tossing the rag aside as he steps toward the espresso machine. “What’ll it be? Oat milk ego boost? Fake espresso?”

You raise an eyebrow. “Whatever supports academic integrity.”

He grins. “So… lavender guilt with a hint of vanilla ambition.”

“Perfect.”

Behind the counter, the newbie ducks out of view with suspicious timing. Probably pretending to organize straws. Probably texting you in all caps.

Sure enough, your phone buzzes:

newbie: ok so we’re not dropping barista boi? because i distinctly remember “case closed” energy two nights ago… and you said you’d only show up during my solo shifts…

You exhale. Type back quickly:

you: i know. i meant it. mostly

You stare at the screen. Then add:

you: there’s just… one thing i still need to figure out. something he said. i’ll tell you when i know

A few seconds later:

newbie: i’ll be waiting (and possibly reorganizing inventory until then)

You glance up.

They’re crouched behind the counter, aggressively focused on a box of wooden stir sticks and definitely not subtle. Right.

You take your usual seat, pretending this is casual. That you don’t feel your lip gloss catching on your smile. That you’re not watching Caleb’s hands as he works—entirely too good at this for your emotional well-being.

He slides the drink toward you a moment later.

You rise, shift your weight like you’re pretending this is no big deal, grab the cup—and by the time you’re lowering yourself back into the chair, he’s already grinning.

Before you can respond, the newbie drifts by, eyeing the scene with quiet dread and maybe a flicker of amusement. They point vaguely between you two with a cloth in hand.

“Is this, like… scheduled flirting or do I need to update the roster?”

Caleb doesn’t miss a beat. “Let’s call it a catch-up session. Someone’s been ghosting their caffeine dealer for two days.”

You raise your cup, playing it cool. “Had to detox from questionable latte crimes.”

The newbie snorts. “Sustained.”

Caleb leans in just slightly, voice low. “Counterpoint: I missed the chaos.”

You sip, eyes locked. “Careful. I might bring it back in full force.”

The newbie exhales like they’re watching an HR violation unfold in real time.

You sip your drink again. It’s perfect.

Of course it is.

Before you can take another, Caleb’s already untying his apron like he’s done it a hundred times without thinking. He tosses it behind the counter, then shrugs into his jacket. Then he walks over like it’s the most natural thing in the world. Like you’re not still trying to recover from the way he complimented you when you walked in.

He pulls out the chair across from you and sits—casual, easy, focused entirely on you.

“Clock’s off,” he says. “Extension granted.”

You raise your cup. “Wow. An unsupervised barista in the wild.”

He leans forward, elbows on the table. “Careful. I’m dangerous without caffeine supervision.”

You smile into your drink. “You are the caution label.”

Caleb grins, easy and crooked, like he knows it’s true. But then silence settles in—comfortable at first, then strange. You realize you don’t actually know what to ask him. Not anything normal. Not anything safe.

That’s when the newbie drifts over again, towel still in hand and one brow raised. “Didn’t you say you had to leave exactly on time? Plans, or something?”

Caleb doesn’t look up right away. “Yeah,” he says slowly, sliding a finger along the edge of the table. “Changed my mind.”

Then—just a shrug. No comment. They turn and walk off, disappearing behind the espresso machine like they’ve decided they’ve already witnessed enough plot for one shift.

Your phone buzzes a second later.

newbie: he totally bailed on a date for you. i’m not saying i approve. but i am saying… damn gurl

You pretend to stare into your drink, hiding the flush that climbs up your neck. One hand cradles the cup, the other slips under the table to text.

you: noted. proceeding with caution.

newbie: you’re already toast

And you’re left sitting there. Caleb still not looking at you. Still pretending your pulse hasn’t picked up again.

You look at him, careful. “So… how does your date feel about being stood up?”

You try to make it light. Offhand. Like it’s a joke. But your hands are wrapped a little too tightly around your cup.

He doesn’t flinch. Just holds your gaze and says,

“She’ll survive.”

You raise an eyebrow, and he adds—quieter now, more certain,

“I’m just… starting to make the right priorities.” He leans back slightly, eyes still on you. “Honestly? I prefer this date over the one I had lined up.”

You let out a soft laugh. “Wow. So cross-examination is your ideal date?”

He grins, unbothered. “I don’t mind a little pressure.”

A quiet breath escapes as your thumb drags along the rim of your cup, buying time you’re not sure you need.

“Well,” you say, a little softer now. “Something you said at the farmers market stuck with me.”

His smile fades just a little—still gentle, but cautious now.

“If you don’t mind,” you continue, “I’d like to ask one more serious question. And then I’ll get out of your hair.”

He nods slowly. “Go on.”

The question leaves your mouth before you can overthink it. “So… do they really make you take psych evals in aviation school? Like, sit in a room and prove you’re not gonna fly off the handle mid-flight?”

He hums, glancing down at his hands. The moment stretches—something careful and unfinished in the space between you.

“Yeah,” he says slowly. “It’s… part of it.”

You wait. Just for a second. But he doesn’t add anything.

Doesn’t look up either.

You backpedal before you realize why. “Sorry—was that a weird question?”

He finally looks at you. Smiles, but not quite like before.

“Nah. Just… not all turbulence is flight-related, you know?”

It lingers. Quiet.

You nod like you get it. You don’t push.

Instead, you check the time and start to gather your things.

“Well. I should head back to the library. Real law waits for no one.”

Caleb stands up with you. “Mind if I walk you?”

You pause. “To campus?”

One corner of his mouth quirks up as his hands disappear into his jacket pockets. “Unless that violates attorney-client privilege.”

You try to act cool. Casual.

But your heart’s doing flips like it just passed the bar on vibes alone.

“…Sure,” you say. “As long as you promise not to distract me from my constitutional crisis.”

“No promises.”

——————————————————————————

You didn’t think walking back with Caleb would feel like anything.

But it does.

It doesn’t feel like the farmers market. There’s no soft buzz of vendors or distraction of overpriced produce. No easy banter. It’s just a ten-minute stroll through campus. And every step feels charged. Not tense—just aware.

Aware of the way his shoulder brushes yours every so often. Aware of the fact that he’s not saying anything too deep—but he could. And aware that whatever weight hangs between you now, it’s heavier than before. Not bitter. Just real. Like he’s thinking, maybe, just as loudly as you are.

You try to focus on the path ahead. The looming faculty building. The notes in your bag. The faint echo of de lege ferenda in the back of your brain.

But instead, your thoughts keep rerouting to him. To how beautiful he looks walking next to you—hands in his pockets, jacket slightly open, the chain around his neck just barely visible under the collar of his shirt. There’s a faint scent clinging to him—subtle cologne, warm cinnamon, and coffee. Familiar now. Unfairly comforting.

The apple charm flashes once.

And you look away.

“Campus is weirdly quiet at this hour,” he says, voice low.

You nod. “All the reasonable people went home to rest. The rest of us have finals and bad taste in coping mechanisms.”

He chuckles, a soft breath more than a laugh. “What category do I fall into?”

A breath of hesitation hangs in the air before your gaze flicks his way.

“You’re the exception.”

He arches a brow. “To which part?”

You smile, quiet. “Exactly.”

Then, casually—maybe too casually—you ask, “Why flying?”

He hesitates. Not long. But long enough.

“You already had your serious question,” he murmurs, lips quirking. “But fine. I’ll indulge you, Golden Girl…”

His gaze tilts skyward—toward the horizon where dusk spills purple into orange, soft as breath. The light kisses his skin, scattering gold across the freckles on his nose, tangling in the soft, unruly fall of his ashen brown bangs. And his eyes—those impossible eyes—catch every violet thread of sky like they were made for this hour, like the universe choreographed sunset just to wreck you slowly.

“There’s something about being up there,” he says, quieter now. “Everything feels small. Like it can’t touch you.”

You nod. “Sounds peaceful.”

He shrugs. “It used to be.”

It used to be.

You don’t press. You’re out of allowed serious questions. Dang.

He glances sideways at you, his voice a little softer. “You always this curious?”

You smirk. “I’m literally training to cross-examine people for a living.”

A quiet chuckle slips out, low and unsurprised. “Right. Should’ve seen that coming.”

The silence that follows is longer. He doesn’t fill it. Neither do you. Just the sound of your steps echoing on the pavement, both of you pretending this is still light.

And then, he says:

“I saw you.”

You stop. So does he.

His voice is softer now. Measured. “After I left you. At the farmers market. After we parted… I… I saw you walk away.”

Your throat tightens.

“I didn’t mean to—” you start.

“I know,” he says quickly. “You… don’t have to explain.”

You look away. It stings, hearing him say it. Knowing he knew. That you weren’t as invisible in your spiral as you hoped.

“She’s part of me,” he says finally, eyes on the dark stretch of sidewalk ahead. “Whether I like it or not.”

You don’t say anything.

“She was… important,” he adds. “Still is. Very much so. Maybe… In ways I wish she wasn’t.”

You glance at him. His jaw’s tight. Not sad—bitter. Quietly so.

“Serving coffee helps,” he says with a dry smile. “Stupid as that sounds. So does working. Part-time hours, full-time distraction.”

You don’t speak. Just listen. For once, you’re not cross-examining, not poking holes in the story.

“Flying was supposed to help too,” he continues. “Thought maybe if I was up there, I’d finally feel free. Untouchable. Like I could outrun… outfly all of it.”

He shakes his head. “Turns out… you land eventually. I… always get home on time. No matter how hard I try not to.”

He gives you a sideways look. Not for pity. Just to see if you’re still here.

You are.

“I didn’t mean for you to see that,” he says. “And I didn’t want it to look like—”

“It’s okay,” you say quietly. “You don’t have to explain either.”

He exhales, the sound heavy even in the cool early evening air. “Yeah, but I want to.”

You reach the steps of the faculty. He slows with you.

There’s a pause. You glance at him.

He glances at you.

Then he blinks—like he’s just realized how much he said. How serious it suddenly got. You watch him. Carefully. Then, quiet but steady:

“Caleb. Am I an emotional distraction to you?”

That familiar smirk flickers to life—like he’s winding up to make a joke about your dwindling cross-examination time. But then it falters. Softens. Something gentler bleeding in at the edges.

“You ask that like it’s a bad thing,” he murmurs. “But I don’t want you to see it that way, Golden Girl.”

You lean in, just enough that your shoulders brush—just enough to make it teasing, grounding, not heavy.

You raise a brow. “Depends. Is this a paid role?”

“Not yet,” he says, voice dropping just slightly. “But the benefits are excellent.” He exhales. Runs a hand through his hair.

“I wanted us to stay light, Golden Girl,” he mutters, then flashes a crooked, too-fast smile.

You open your mouth—don’t know what to say.

But he keeps going, softer this time.

“I like being around you,” he says, voice low. “Not because of her. Just…”

Caleb pauses, searching for the words.

“Just because it reminds me of who I used to be. Someone I could… be lighter with. Before everything got so heavy.”

You don’t say anything.

But something in your chest cracks a little—softly. Quietly.

You nod once.

Then, without thinking, he brushes your arm with his fingers. Light. Fleeting. Just enough to feel real.

He holds your gaze.

“I’ll see you soon, yeah?”

Not a question.

A soft certainty.

You could leave it there.

You should.

But you say it anyway, like it’s no big deal:

“…You could kiss me goodnight.”

He pauses.

Raises a brow. “Yeah?”

You shrug, playing it off. “Just to test it. See if it still feels lighthearted.”

A slow grin curves across his face. “Bit early for goodnight kisses, isn’t it?”

Then softer—closer: “And if I kissed you goodnight… it wouldn’t just be a goodnight kiss.”

Your breath catches. His eyes are still open—still watching. Fingers drift forward—just enough to brush against your hair. It’s not a kiss. But it feels like one.

Then—he exhales, a little laugh under his breath.

“We’d fail the test.”

You blink. “Why?”

His voice drops.

“Because I wouldn’t want to stop.”

You don’t answer. You don’t have to.

Because the ache in your chest says it all.

Still—

You let it settle.

You let it stay.

Then he walks away.

You blink. Once. Twice.

And then you turn on your heel and book it back inside. Back to the library. Back to your laptop. Your outlines. Your annotated casebooks.

Back to your safe zone.

The water bottle hits your desk like a gavel. A granola bar follows—torn open and half-devoured like it might file your stress for you. A blank doc blinks back at the chaos.

You start typing.

——————————————————————————

Caleb v. My F*cking Sanity

Exhibit A: Apple Girl

She exists.

Confirmed visual. Confirmed hug.

Still part of him. Still hurts.

Exhibit B: The Look

He knew I saw.

Felt bad.

Explained… sort of. That’s not nothing.

Exhibit C: The communication pattern

Texted me FIRST. Flirts.

“First-class comfort.”

Braid-touching violation.

Walked me back. Said “see you soon.” Like it meant something???

Exhibit D: The confession

“You remind me of who I used to be.”

He told me. Voluntarily.

Not sad, not sweet—true. Bitter?

Exhibit E: The proximity

The almost-kiss?!?!

Stepped closer.

Eyes open the whole time.

Looked at me like I might undo him wtf

Exhibit F: The Suggestion

I joked: “You could kiss me goodnight.”

He said: “Bit early for goodnight kisses.” …..

Like… early relationship-wise or early as in it’s not bedtime yet? Fml

Exhibit G: The Verdict

“We’d fail the test,” he said.

“Because I wouldn’t want to stop.”

(I didn’t say anything. I couldn’t… jesus)

——————————————————————————

You stare at the screen.

Your heart’s still pounding.

Your fingers hover over the keys—then type one last paragraph:

——————————————————————————

Case Status: Dangerously reopened. Evidence still being collected. *And I’m starting to think I might not want to win.

——————————————————————————

Part 9

——————————————————————————

Writer’s note: Ahhh, here we are again, dear readers: Spiraling straight back into his orbit. There’s just something about a guy who uses :3 So… are you feeling the vibe? Picking up on what Caleb’s trying to tell us? I really hope my initial arc for him is starting to take shape, hehe. (This is, without a doubt, the only arc I can imagine Caleb having… testing, maybe even choosing someone other than the MC. The song below is Caleb’s theme song “back to you, back to you nanananaa”) Now, technically, I could drag this story out forever. I mean, the banter? The flirting? Yum. However, I was thinking about starting to wrap things up… buuuut if you’re into this, I can absolutely slow-burn it into oblivion. Let me know! Anyway, see you in the next one, and have a great weekend, peepz! Okey then, thank you for reading 🫶🏻

[knight-of-flowerss]

Hi how are u doing sweetie? God I just read your truckercregan story and I’m OBSESSED. Can you write a Trucker!Cregan x Reader where the reader is trying to keep their distance from Cregan because they’re getting way too attached (I mean who wouldn’t like 🧎‍♀️), but Cregan doesn’t seem to notice or care at all? The reader’s been hanging around the town, but every time Cregan rolls in with his rig, they can’t help but watch. One day, Cregan catches them staring, and instead of making a move or acknowledging their interest, he just smirks and comments on something completely unrelated, like how their truck’s tires are worn down or they should get more coffee. Reader’s frustrated but can’t help but feel drawn to him. Maybe Cregan even teases them, gets a little too close, and throws in a casual touch or comment, making the reader all flustered but still holding back, unsure of whether Cregan’s actually interested or if he’s just being his usual confident, aloof shitty self.

- Anon 🤍

UGH ANON YOU ARE THE BEST THING TO HAPPEN TO ME RIGHT NOW, THIS IDEA IS TO DIEEE FORR!!

Also there will be some suggestive stuff in here like dry humping, grabbing readers breast and Cregan smacking readers ass cus bro is DEFINITELY an ass man and really doesn't give a single fuck about being a 'nice guy'. He sees a nice ass? He's smacking it. Anyways just a bunch of sexual stuff as well lol.

Also, Trucker!Cregan deffo, 100% puts x's on the end of his messages when he's horny.

Well, Trucker!Cregan is an ass man at least. I think hockey player!Cregan is a thigh man icl 🤭 bro appreciates a good pair of thighs. (I have more Cregan AU ideas like firefighter!Cregan, bsf's!dad!Cregan, ex-husband!Cregan, etc.)

Anyways, I'm getting logged on 😅 I hope I've done your idea justice! I haven't sat down and wrote properly for a GOOD WHILE so 🥲🥲

(Also I'm probs just gonna be saying Cregan instead of Trucker!Cregan in this cus I rlly cba to write it out every time and I feel like it's gonna get repetitive 😭)

MDNI 18+!!!

TRUCKER!CREGAN X READER

MASTERLIST

🛻•Cregan was like a drug, something you could never let go of. He's like trying drugs for the first time a party and immediately getting high on the feeling it gives you.

🛻•Trucker!Cregan was something you could never give up, but you're trying, even if you know it's absolutely pointless.

🛻•Meaningless sex was your go to, get addicted to others and soon maybe you'll forget about him. The way he feels- the way he makes you feel.

🛻•Sitting at your local diner, you skim through your phone, staring at all the unanswered texts and missed phone calls from Cregan.

🛻•'Hey darlin x' Wednesday, 5:48 PM.

'Am off work now x' Wednesday, 5:48 PM.

Missed call. Wednesday, 5:49 PM.

'Were r u hun?' Wednesday, 5:49 PM.

'Gonna cum over t the dina n get sum food' Wednesday, 5:51 PM.

Missed call. Wednesday, 5:53 PM.

Missed call. Wednesday, 6:10 PM.

Missed call. Wednesday, 6:12 PM.

'You cummin or what?' Wednesday, 6:13 PM.

Missed call. Wednesday, 6:18 PM.

🛻•'On a 10 hr drive' Thursday, 4:24 AM.

'Be back Friday night' Thursday, 4:25 AM.

🛻•Image attached, 'Luk at that fatass dog haha' Thursday, 11:06 AM.

'Jus got of' Thursday, 4:47 PM.

'At shitty motel' Thursday, 4:47 PM.

Missed call. Thursday, 4:48 PM.

'Pick up.' Thursday, 4:48 PM.

'Darlin a miss u x' Thursday, 4:51 PM.

'Please x' Thursday, 4:52 PM.

'Darlin a need u x' Thursday, 4:52 PM.

Missed call. Thursday, 4:53 PM.

Image attached, 'Luk wot u do t me x' Thursday, 4:57 PM.

Video attached, 'So hard for u x' Thursday, 4:59 PM.

Video attached, 'All this for u hun x' Thursday, 5:07 PM.

🛻•Missed call. Friday 10:34 AM.

'Drivin home now' Friday, 10:47 AM.

Missed call. Friday, 11:40 PM.

'At bar' Friday, 11:41 PM.

'Call me when u can' Friday, 11:41 PM.

🛻•Missed call. Sunday, 2:11 PM.

'Ben jus told me u been out' Sunday, 2:13 PM.

'U hav fun wit ur friends?' Sunday, 2:14 PM.

'Cant wait t see u again hun x' Sunday, 2:17 PM.

'Answer me.' Sunday, 2:20 PM.

🛻•Then, radio silence.

🛻•Wednesday evening, a full week after, you always go to the diner and order a pumpkin pie slice, one that Cregan would treat you with after he fucked you senseless, one of the only nice things he ever did for you.

🛻•Then, before you know it, a body slides into the opposite booth, you don't even have to lift your head to know who it is. His smell, his confidence, the way he's spreading his legs under the table. Cregan.

🛻•He grabs a fork, as your eyes lift up from your phone. The utensil cuts through the pie, taking a big scoop with some whipped cream and shoving it in his mouth.

🛻•He licks the fork clean as you stare at him, his nose, his beard, his eyes. Everything makes you squeeze your thighs shut, the throbbing returning to your core.

🛻•"Your tires are worn darlin'.. gon' need t' get 'em fixed." His gruff voice cuts through the soft hum of a song playing on the jukebox that's on its last leg.

🛻•"They got fixed last week" You mumble, grabbing the coffee mug on your right and taking a sip. "Hm." He hums, staring back at you, a small smirk tugging on his lips.

🛻•About ten minutes go by, Cregan just staring at you as he slides the pie towards him, eating it like he paid for it. That's the thing about Cregan, he's greedy. And selfish. If he wants it, he'll take it.

🛻•You quickly slam down five dollars, a tip for the waitress before scooting out of the booth, walking out of the diner as Cregan watches with that shit eating grin on his face.

🛻•He shoves the remaining section of the pie into his mouth and jumps out of the booth, walking out with long strides, confidence looming around him.

🛻•As you're trying to unlocking your car door, Cregan slides behind you, slotting his hips against your ass.

🛻•His large hands grip your hips, pressing himself harder into you as a gasp slips through your lips. A low grumble rattles his large chest as he speaks in your ear, his low, deep voice making your legs tremble with desire, "Yuv been ignorin' me darlin'.."

🛻•One hand moves off your hip, gliding up your torso softly before harshly gripping your tit, massaging it roughly as his hips slowly grind against your ass.

🛻•Your fingers grip the top of your car, eyes fluttering closed as Cregan practically dry humps you against your car in broad daylight.

🛻•Before you know it, he pushes you harshly against the car and steps back, not even bothering to hide his raging hard on.

🛻•A finger gets pointed in your face as you turn your head to look at him, eyebrows furrowed in absolute confusion. "Don't ever fucking ignore me again. Ever."

🛻•He moves the pointed finger from your face, dropping it down before shoving past you, his truck being on the other side, a few spaces down. And you definitely didn't miss the harsh smack he laid on your ass while he shoved past.

🛻•You have zero clue if Cregan actually wants you or sees you as his property, but at this point, you're too cock drunk to even care.

I hope I did it justice! I've been so sick so my writing definitely got worse throughout this 🥲

Tags: @thethreeeyed-raven @lost-in-fiction-like-ur-mom

[ziipzeepzop-eez]

if you still do them, is it okay you do like one shots with ROTTMNT boys and a little sibling reader?

but here’s the thing, the reader is a little pink gecko with yellow spots, they’re around 10 or 9 years old and can run just as fast as sonic the hedgehog and basically have the energy of a golden retriever, they’re like a tiny dragon and it’s adorable yet SO. FREAKING. EXHAUSTING!!

❝ pink bubbles and banana laffy taffy!! ❞

₊˚꒰🥞꒱‧ — 𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐞 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐱 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐬𝐢𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠!𝐠𝐞𝐜𝐤𝐨!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

｡˚ 𓂋 🍋﹒✦﹒✿ ˚

❝l ɑׁׅ֮/ꪀׁׅ : okay i had to squeeze this one out because OHMIGOSH it is SO. CUTE!!!! i literally got soso excited when i read this because how did you know i'm legitimately obsessed with geckos?! 😭 i literally downloaded picsart to make that collage and wrote this in the span of a day or two because i got so excited aausghshdh !! fluffybun24, fluffy, darlin'. grips your shoulders and brushes your cheek tenderly. thank you. also, i'm just now realizing you asked for one shots after the fact ajsjjhd I AM SO SORRY I DIDN'T REALIZE UNTIL AFTER RE-READING IT after writing this whole thing out XD DX but foremost, i must tell you that i mostly do my fandom writing in headcanon/reaction formats !! :(( one shot(s) aren't really my forte . . . albeit, i do hope this is just as good !! o7

(honorable mention: @agentturtlecupcake *HARSHLY NUDGES YOU* HEY. HEY LOOK. LOOKLOOKLOOOKLOKKOKLOKOOOKKLLOOOOOOOK. IT'S the, k-KID-🩷💛)

˙🍋 ̟ !! ─ oh my goodness me, you are the simultaneous love and light, the bane and exhaustion, of everyone's respective lives.

don't get me wrong, your family absolutely adores you!!

especially since you're :(( the baby :(( aww :(((

it just, kinda freaks everyone thafuq OUT when you zip and zoom and flash everywhere

just. a maniacal streak of pink and yellow.

they don't know peace because of you. (affectionate!)

like they will be mindin' their whole business in its entirety and here you come

"*walks into the main living room* heeeeeyy, anybody seen my jupiter jim issue— [*nyooom!*] SWEET MOTHER OF G O D–"

it's not like you ever have ill intentions, tho 🥹 so it's okay.

"they're cute so it's okay!" — all of your siblings at one point, probably

while they do accept your golden retriever tendencies, it be givin' them gray hairs fr 💀✋

especially because you're so f a s t

you're there one moment then next thing they know you're halfway across the entire lair, tittering and chirping happily away.

˙🍋 ̟ !! ─ so, over the course of your life, they've all developed their own designated role when keeping up with you:

raph . . .

being the oldest definitely feels the most responsible for you and acts on it! he himself has developed a sixth sense for when you zoom by and can catch you with (relative) ease every time, and has definitely saved your butt from like. accidentally crashing into a wall or smth sjsjsj

but big bubba can't prevent everything :\ so you have gotten some owies !!

but you can always count on him to be there to help you feel better.

he's your biggest bro 🥹 he always makes you feel better.

but i imagine u're also a maniacal little shit (*cough* thanks leo *COUGH*)

so sometimes you just, str8 up run away from him like ACTIVELY escape his grasp

it deffo takes some effort 😮‍💨 (petition : #saveraphfromhissiblings /lh)

"[NAME]?! Get back here, you little speed monster!!"

*cue toiny baby gecko squealing and The Daily Chase commencement*

oh yeah. it's a daily occurrence.

you stress him out 🤣😭 but it's okay. :))

(after catching you in his hands, holding you up to eye level): "Alright, you little goober. That's enough outta ya today." "But Raaaaph!!"

and then you can't really do anything because raph knows your sweet spot, your little switch, that melts you like putty - a little patch riiiight in the center of your upper back, a well-pressurized scritch is all it takes really, and oh. there we go. down for a nap !

however you simply must have your grand rebellion moments and give him arm gummy bites the entire time but he's the just personification of "😇😌"

ain't no doubting he loves you tho. adores you, really; your bright bubbliness is what makes him smile most days, and even tho your energy is a bit much for him to keep up with, and he'd really like it if you stopped fighting him for afternoon naps sometimes, i don't think he'd change it for the world.

leo . . .

is one who's fairly on par with your hyperactivity, so he's the one we all turn to when your excitement is bubbling over into something a liiiiittle too much :'))

playing tag when you're zooming to and fro is one of you guys' favorites.

but sometimes he doesn't play fair and uses his odachi to teleport >:((

and if you get genuinely upset, he just scoops you up and blows raspberries on your soft lil tummy.

he's the only one who can wear you out so he's an essential part of everyone's lives asksksjd

but bc of this

HE PROBABLY USES YOU AS COLLATERAL TO GET THINGS HE WANTS I'M NOT EVEN PLAYIN

"LEO!!! Ugghhghhh, can you please handle them?!"

"Mmmhmmmmmmm....."

"L E O ಠಗಠ! For the last time, you are NOT choosing for movie night tonight and the kind of pizza!! You've had it all week!!!"

"Ohh, suddenly I have no capability for one very specific baby cotton candy-banana pudding gecko..... Shame. Woeful, horrible, terrible, shame—"

"LEO!!!"

he's a jerk, but he's highkey your idol and he would give the entire world for you in a heartbeat, so :))

donnie . . .

acts like your hyperactivity is an inconvenience...... but in reality, he doesn't mind it.

(only when it compromises his tech. you've only had one to two incidents involving his lab before permanent damage control was done and it's been this way ever since. 😭✋)

sure, sometimes your wild nature can make him cringe on bad days, but what's a sibling if they don't get tired of your antics once every while?

it's healthy development !!

plus. he himself has his moments where his lowkey descent into madness shows its peak, so he can't really talk.

you've all got your quirks, y'know? (/ref)

in truth he accepts it as a part of you, and he loves all of you - i mean c'mon, you're his baby sibling.

and even tho he doesn't openly admit it nearly as much as the rest of your family - he really does think you're adorable.

and in more truth: donnie takes care of you a lot. like- as soon as you started showing signs of your speediness and just-consumed-five-bags-of-candy excitement levels, he completely baby proofed the lair 😭

and you can't tell me he didn't know you'd possess those superhuman levels of speed bro you CAN'T

that man is a scientist and he leaves no stone unturned, especially when it comes to his family.

he has you microchipped too sjjsjdh

[ i just thought of this just now, actually: he and leo are a team when it comes down to your genetics/biological health. donnie researches with his stem-augmented brain and studies your dna down to the very microfiber; leo adapts with his medical affinities to make sure you're the healthiest little gecko mutant kiddo you can be. <3 ]

WE MAY HAVE MADE FUN OF HIM AT THE MOMENT, because how much harm can one baby gecko do Donnie you silly fool honhonhonhon BUT HE'S THE ONLY 👏 ONE 👏 WHO CAME IN CLUTCH.

very much "who's laughing now?"

certainly donnie. my bet's on donnie.

"THEY ALL LAUGHED. THEY CALLED ME A SILLY FOOL. BUT FEAST YOUR EYES, BRETHREN. EATETH THY WORDS!!" "..... Raphie! Bonbon's doin' that crazy scientist shtick again!!" "[NAME]. >:("

on another note, i feel donnie would extend that branch of 'baby-proofing' and relate it to the gift he created for you. [ ref: s1/ep2 — "donnie's gifts" ]

maybe it was something like . . . a malleable sludge, some sort of putty, that melded perfectly over your legs whenever you were starting to get too speedy.

you were initially excited over the cute little metal band anklets gifted to you by your older brother, buuut once it activated .... :((

it made you big sads. :((

being a little speedykins was your most defining trait !! why would donbon try to take that away from you?? :(( donnie :((( donbon why :(((

.... what you don't know, (and me either tbh, we never got that 'explanation' from the inventor himself), is that donnie made it with your specs in mind.

geckos are able to climb vertical surfaces (with some exceptions of course, but for the most part !!) — when activated, those little "putty bands" would've aided in that.

because donnie knows how much you love to run around, especially climbing up the walls, but you can't stick up there forever.

was it made to simultaneously slow your ass down? yes. 🤣😭

(he's only one man what do you want from the poor guy ☠✋ your drive by's were enough to send him into cardiac arrest every time)

...... was it made to adhere to nearly any and every surface texture known to man & mutant kind? for an unprecedented amount of time? with the intentions of you having so much fun with it? also yes.

was it made with intricate care and with, overall, your best interests at heart?

yes.

but after the whole ordeal, he really did mean it when he says you're great just the way you are. :))

in your calmer moments, he likes to have you wrap around his shoulders like a fashion designer scarf and taps at your cute little tail, half as a stim, half as a gesture of affection, while he's in the lab focusing on his latest project

or even just. vibing. y'all are primetime vibey.

he finds your weight comforting. like a tiny weighted pillow.

and he'll never admit that he feels his heart nearly burst with love and pure fondness when you yourself happily curl up into your brother and fall asleep there, cooing softly into his ear.

he built a little comfort bed/pillow extension for you in his battle shell for such occasions <3

but he prefers the sibling cuddles without his shell on.

he trusts you, after all.

(i will never financially recover from this aksjddh SOBBING)

mikey . . .

is exceptionally good at matching all of your moods: your bubbly hyperactivity and bringing you to a calmer, serene state !!

how does he do it. 🧍

he catches you in his arms and strokes/scratches your back to calm you down, and it works like a charm every time !

he never has to use dr. delicate touch on you. despite being the closest in age, surprisingly, you listen to mikey very well !

call it survivor's intuition 🫠 orrrr just the fact that you and mikey are very close and in-tune with one another,

whenever he calls it quits for you - no matter how much you might whine and pout - you genuinely do tone it down.

i know i said this for leo too but i feel like mikey just has that magic touch. yenno?

no pun intended. ha.

but en ee wayz !! yusssss, mikey and [name] are the cutest little goobers.

y'all deffo get roped together being the "babies" of the family,

and despite mikey wanting to outfit that mold — mostly by means of appeasing to raph's overprotective tendencies — he babies you a bit too !!

you like to poke fun. you're observant, clever little thing. you call mikey out on it, going so far as to call him a hypocrite,

and whether you guys have a serious discussion or not is completely up to you !

but for the time being he just pets your head and affectionately tells you to hush, and keeps right on babying you.

he likes being your older brother !! so sue him !!

dynamics change the older you guys get =] so who knows what the future has in store?

you're one of his favorite muses. your color palette never fails to strike inspiration within him 🎨✨

when he catches your pink n' yellow blur in passing, he can come up with an entire idea for murals to tag around, don't play w him

he likes to do body paint on you too !! :))

(completely safe + free of harmful chemicals wbk)

probably makes flowers out of your polka dots (he definitely calls them that) or connects them to make a bigger picture.

he made an entire field of flowers and koi fish pond encompassing your back one time and you absolutely loved it.

you'll always be his little muse 💔

"[Nameeee]!!~ C'mere, polka dot! You wanna see if I can make a constellation this time?" "YAY!!!!" "Wait- waitwaitWAITWAIT SLOW DOWN—" [ *cue wii bowling ball strike sound sequence* ]

˙🍋 ̟ !! ─ ahaaa. overall, you're their cute little ball of sunshine. their little sugar carnival. their little pink bubblegum and banana laffy taffy gecko baby! and — while you being.... you, can get just shy of unbearable sometimes, they wouldn't trade you for this world and all the others.

after all, what's a family if you don't accept every part of them? no matter how exhausting it is. <3 you're a handful, but that's why you've got six pairs. and as the years go on, it only grows.

@chachachannah + @sweetparty for the dividers 🩷 @cureqt for the cute emoji combo 💛 & pinterest for the pictures! [the collage is by me!!] 🥰

⟆ ˙🍋 ̟ !! ─ further author notes . . .

™ : as always, susceptible to future editing for grammatical/formatting corrections !!

i absolutely loveddd writing this!! and for the intricacy, this is the quickest i've ever pulled a request-bun fresh from the oven!! :o kudos to you, fluffy! <3 i do hope you like this as much as i did aaaa!! now i've got polka dot gecko sibling brainrot. 🥴 it's true: you never know it's a good idea until it's presented to you !!

a couple of fun facts: "sugar carnival" is a term coined by me, in reference to one of my free verse poems a while back! i, also, consider myself a sugar carnival being at most times ˶ᵔᗜ ᵔ˶ & i came up with the title on the spot after hearing + envisioning "pink gecko with yellow spots". ideal color combo, criminally underrated. fluffy your brain deserves a pedestal and i will personally create it for you with my bare hands.✋🩷💛

╰┈➤ tues. jan 23, 9:18 pm, '24.

[ballerinaangel98765]

Epiphany chapter 2

thunderbolts X reader

Bob Reynolds x reader

okay buckle up this is a longgggg one but we'll deffo be seeing some familiar faces next chapter!

Gina found herself stood outside the avengers tower. The subway ride she just travelled had her questiong whether she should be doing this? At every stop her brain screamed at her to get off and go home. But her body persisted.

She took a big breath and looked up at the skyscraper above. Very shiny. Very new.

She remembered her first time seeing the tower, she had just turned 11 and was terrified of it. Benji used to tell her stories about what happened in 2012 when the chitari had invaded the city. He used to tease her, threatening that they were going to come back and get her if she didn't give him extra goes on their shared Wii. Obviously looking back on those memories, Gina found it hilarious that she believed his childish threats. 

She allowed those thoughts to appear in her brain and slowly fade as she glanced back at the doors to the tower. She looked at the time  "11:25". 

She had time.

Walking into the building she didn't know quite what to look at first.

There were workers everywhere running around keeping the busines going. Tour groups of school children being relayed from display to display. Employees talking into phones, trying to convince the person on the other side of the line whatever they were preaching was important. An automated announcement declaring tour times, opening hours and what was the latest deal in the merchandise were.

"Organised chaos" Gina reassured herself.

Or just plain chaos.

Approaching the reception desk she pulled the card out of her pocket, keeping it close to her side.

The receptionist was ferociously tapping at her keyboard. Gina cleared her throat "excuse me"

The receptionist didn't look up. She had her coily hair slicked back into a bun, her charcoal blue pansuit buttoned neatly to the top. She looked pristine and well ironed-putting the "organised" into the contrasting chaos.

Gina cleared her throat once more "excuse me?"

The receptionist glaced back up "Good morning, welcome to the avengers tower! How may I help you today?".

"I have an appointment with Director de Fontaine"

Gina The receptionist politely smiled back

"Okay could I take your name?"

Gina paused for a moment. She technically didn't have an appointment, but Valentina had told her to come back any time. She figured her name would come up in bright red flashing letter, signifying that she needed to be seen immediately.

"Gina Nicoletti"

The receptionist smiled, aggressively typing Gina's name into the system. She looked back up, "I'm sorry we have no appointment for a Gina Nicoletti"

Gina felt a relief wave over her. Maybe this was a bad idea, maybe she should just turn around and go.

"It could be under Gianna Nicoletti?" She blurted out against her brains wishes.

The receptionist went back to her computer.

"I'm afraid nothing is coming up. You are welcome to make an appointment with our help team, unfortunately director de Fontaine isn't taking appointments for the next 12 weeks"

Gina has come to learn she is easily convinced.' It is what it is" was her mantra, a way to take control of her unpredictable life. 

"Maybe this is a sign" Gina thought. She glanced behind her, a qué had now formed 

"I think it's time to go" her brain convinced her. 

"Okay thank you!" She interrupted as the receptionist was reciting people she could make a further appointment with.

Gina turnered at her heel and made her way to her exit. 

I shouldn't have come! What if someone saw me? I don't need help I can do this myself! 

'What ifs?' Raced around Gina's brain.

She was getting closer to the exit .

10 steps away and she would be free.

9 steps

8 steps 

7

6

5

"Gianna?" 

"Shit." Gina turned slowly to address the figure who has spoken her name. 

"It is so great to see you, I take it you've changed your mind!' 

Valentina Allegra de Fontaine stood tall and proud. She wore a tailored blazer and a government style pencil skirt. She looked powerful,and although slightly shorter than  herself, Gina found herself intimidated by the director. 

"I want to help." Gina admitted as she met Valentinas eyes.

"I need help" 

Valentina nodded as she looked at the young woman Infront of her. She examined her, specifically how much Gina's body had changed since they first met. She was taller, ever so slightly. Her face was contoured with fatigue, her frame still the same but folded in ever so slightly, as If the young woman's worries were all pilled on her back.

"Why don't you follow me." Valentina declared as she led the girl to the elevator. 

..................

"Again I'm so very sorry about your step brother" Valentina SAID

"A horrible accident, just horrible" she emoted placing down the tea pot.

Gina sat in the soft padded chair. As if she was a child being sent to the principals office.

"Thank you" was all Gina seemed to get out. "It's fine really" 

It wasn't fine Gina screamed in her head. It just wasn't particularly why she has found herself in Valentinas office.

Valentina took her place on the throne that was her office desk "so Gina. How are the suppressants working for you?"

"They're fine I guess" Gina stated as she picked up the tea Valentina had laid out.

"Any side affects? Nausea? Fatigue? Val integrated "Clearly not death as you're sat here! Looking as dandy as a daisy!" She laughed grasping her hands together.

Gina pursed her lips "I feel okay, they just keep me awake. Like I've drank a gallon of coffee at every meal" 

"And the issue Gina? No more-well - you know what I mean."

Gina paused. The concoction that Val's team had created for her was supposed to suppress something inside her. Something bad. Dangerous. Something that she couldn't control.

"That's actually why I wanted to see you" Gina looked up from her tea. 

"I dont want to hide it anymore-like you said."  Gina began.

"I want to be able to control it. Help find others like me, who have these... Mutations."

Val grinned, rising from her office throne.

"I am so happy you've come to your senses"

Val had taken her to the 10th floor, a floor not advertised on the neverending tour announcement.

As they stepped off the lift a pungent smell encased them. Sterile. Clean. It reminded Gina of the long, tiring hospital visit she endured as a child.

"So we can take two routes to harness your brilliance" Val stated as she lead Gina through her laboratory. 

Gina studied the vials and bottles all lined up of shelves. 

"We can admit you to an in-house stay or you can come it bi-weekly however.."she explained as they reached the last room of the floor.

"The latter is more lengthy than the former. Now it is up to you but I do think the quicker-"

"I can stay" Gina decided.

Val smiled "I'm so happy we've come to that agreement"

The room was spacious but small. A small bed facing the window, with a sink and toilet hidden by a door. The blinds, closed at this point, were painting the light a warm yellow hue. It reminded Gina of home.

Val turned back to the door,"Okay I'll let you make yourself comfortable. Well run a series of tests first thing this evening. I have some business things that I need to attend to, I'll have Mel send over some initial documents, you know standard medical things, nothing crazy"

Gina looked back from the window "Wait."

Val forcing a smile, reversed her moves. Opening the door. 

"I want to go home and let my dad know- I'll tell him something, something that won't make him worry too much?" 

Val paused, for a moment Gina thought she'd say no, and that shed lock the door and through away the key.

"Sure thing" Val said glancing at her watch "I'll get Mel to send a car. We'll let you know when it's ready."

And with that she closed the door. Leaving Gina alone, once more.

OKAYYY LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU GUY'S THINK

I'm so excited for chapter 3 we're finally gonna see some familiar faces x

[hazard-c-horror]

spawns in ur inbox with my hands politely folded. hello hazard-c-horror. it's been quite a few days now, and i've only Continued to fall down the dandy's world rabbit hole eihsihssh SO, since you're the only Other Person i know about that's Insane abt D.W *and* SAMS, i would like to throw Thoughts inspired by your SAMS x D.W au I've been having .D.

i was hella inspired by the character sheets you made for moon, eclipse, lunar, and solar, so. take some Thoughts for how sun, earth, and kc would work in the game digsgskqj

(btw- this disclaimer might be a bit silly- but idk if you already have Planned Out Stuff for these characters n their abilities n stuff, and i Apologize if you do- this isnt me trynna like take over your au or smtn, its just me being autistic dgsigaiya that being said, do with these ideas as you will, you have free reign over anything you do w them lmao)

Sun:

OKAY so yk how he can turn ppl into geese n stuff in canon? i feel like his transformation magic could actually be his ability. as a toon, he has the ability to turn either Himself or other toons into an object (like a soda can or chocolate bar) for 5-ish seconds. he could do this to Instantly de-agro any twisted's chasing either him or other toons, and the 5 second break could be just enough time for stamina to rebuild so even if the twisted does still spot the de-transformed toon again, they have more time/stamina to run and hide

THAT BEING SAID. his twisted form would be the exact Opposite of this- he'd be able to mask himself as an item and attack/agro onto any toon who'd try to pick him up. he'd be a lot like twisted rodger, just for items instead of capsules. and ofc there would be things making it obvious that the item wasn't trustworthy- like discoloration or added bits on it. if you have a keen eye, avoiding him is Easy :)

i have like a couple thoughts for his mastery item. first one that came to mind was a Cat Plush, which when equipped it has a “calming effect”, and ups your stealth up by around 10-ish percent, making it harder for twisted's to spot you. but then i also thought “haha Wine Bottle”, which i thought that (when close enough) it could instill the “confused” effect on nearby twisted's, and make it harder for them to see nearby toons. so both items would do the same thing, just go about it in different ways

Earth:

she deffo has an ability like tisha's or shelly's, where it helps out the other players instead of herself. im thinking she's able to heal others for one heart every two minutes. a basic ability, but bro methinks this game needs a healer besides teagen, who can only heal herself dosyohsshs the Easy way to go about it is that she can just.. go up to (aka Click) on another player to heal them, but she could also just have a “medical bag” on hand where she whips hella bandages out the wazoo and gives them to whoever needs em dishiaha

okay as a twisted this girl gives me MAD razzle and dazzle vibes in how she functions. but instead of sleeping, i can imagine her constantly Crying and remaining in one smalllll specific area, patrolling it, almost. she can be led away by Distractors (goob, pebble, ect), but once they've de-agroed her, she'll start slowly walking back to her patrol spot. the best way to deal with her is to have someone else agro her and lead her around while You fix the machine she's working on, or vice versa :) but you Can still beat her on a solo run, bc she has rather slow walk-speed when getting back to her patrol spot where you could beat her back to it after leading her away. it'd just be a Lot easier w multiple people digdihsah

and her item?? first thing that came to mind is a barbie doll. or just a “pink girl doll” bc. copyright sigsiszvah it would be an Active item (like the wrench or bottle of pop), where at the start of every round, she could place it down somewhere, and it makes noise, which leads the nearest twisted right to it. ofc we dont want it Too op, so once a twisted makes contact with it, its destroyed and returns back in earths inventory, ready to be used next round .D.

Killcode:

kc is a Complex one- i think this guy would have slow walk speed, but a fast run speed. so i think he'd be a good “distraction” character, like goob or pebble. HOWEVER. i think it'd be sick as *hell* if his ability, using his size, literally made it so that he could momentarily Pick Up Other Toons and carry them away from any twisted's chasing them. he'd prolly only be able to do so for 3-ish seconds, but it could be a saving grace for anyone out of stamina being chased .D.

now. as a Twisted. this👏man👏deserves👏lethal👏status👏 his name is LITERALLY KILLCODE i refuse to believe he cant one-shot a bitch sisgiaga due to him literally being a Being made to perfectly hunt/kill, i think how twisted kc would act is that he'd spawn in at the start of a new floor, a Sound Queue would play so that toons know he's on the floor. and now he's just.. somewhere. hiding. *waiting*. hes normally spawned behind corners or nearby machines, where its either easy to run into him or hard to avoid him. hes not Impossible to beat tho- i imagine he emimates a very quiet sound byte, so hes still avoidable on blackout floors, even if he's not visible. and that byte also helps on just normal floors too ofc. best way to deal with him is to listen to his sound queues and *be very aware of your surroundings*. cause if he spots someone, he is *hard* to lose, and hes lethal if he gets ya. once freed from his waiting spot, he's not going back to it. instead, he'll be moving around the map like a faster, but also Louder, dandy. Scary!!

aaand his item. i came up with a “soup ladel”. cause. heh. yk, because he volunteered in soup kitchens in canon? .D.? i think im Funny siosgiaa what it'd do is up the spawn rate of better Food/Drink items on every floor. think instead of soda cans spawning on floor 1, there's a higher/better chance for soda bottles to spawn instead .D.

. this is over 1K WORDS LONG OF AN ASK hazard im so sorry, im Unwell sigihgaisg okay now i go eep for tonight good nini honk shoo honk shoo

Why hello there. Longest inbox I’ve ever received

I love this a lot actually, and thank you for some ideas! Love the trinket ideas especially, will probably use them

I’m just be reading over this like 12 times, because I just love it

It’s also funny bc I had the same idea about Earths ability, so that’s nice. Great minds think alike

I don’t know if I’ll be incorporating Sun’s magic into this, but I did include Eclipse’s so I may use your idea. Bc I also don’t have any ideas for him at the moment

One unfortunate. KC will not be in this au, but I could make a non canon character sheet for him a Solar flare if people wish. Really like your ideas for him!

The soup ladle is my favorite for a trinket lol

In return of theses amazing ideas, I give you a sneak peek

[tonycries]

Tell nonny drop the @ so a tall sub woman can slide in their dms 😔 "i can grab her"??? Hello thats modern day romeo and juliet!! Also hdjsk you and me on the same wavelength bc i absolutely did mean to say baby daddy and not sugar daddy in that one ask but i agree but i drooled over it regardless 🥵 to apologize i will now tell u how much time i hc it will take for sugar daddy jjk to fall in love w their sugar baby : nanami (starts falling around 5 months and is in love by 9 months), gojo (2 months for him to admit it but probably like 3 weeks in lol), geto (hmmm....7 1/2 months) sukuna (he doesnt love you. whore) and then chocho and toji are dq'd bc sugar babiessss heheh

DJHSDJS TALL NONNIE COME OUTT YOU HAVE ANOTHER ADMIRER HERE 😭😭

And ahaha I thought soo but I was also like mhm sugar daddies yum 😋😋 And YES so true about Gojo falling in love the fastest, honestly two months is a stretch too - I give it about two weeks.

Don't break my heart like that I CAN and WILL change daddy Sukuna okay 😔

But also on the topic of baby daddies, lemme rank how good they are as baby daddies real quick:

Nanami - 11/10 wtf, husband material he treats you like a QUEEN and EVERYONE is gonna know. Definitely puts a massive ring on it too if he hasn't already.

Gojo - 9.5/10 money money money buys out every single baby store in Tokyo. Deffo cries when the baby is born, only downside is he probably whines for attention, too.

Geto - 9/10 a single mom who works two jobs, who loves her kids and never stops - except Geto is the single mom. Jkjk but he's already raised two daughters, ughhh he'd be so perfect.

Choso - 7.5/10 has absolutely NO idea what to do but he's such a cutie oh my god. If Gojo was crying when the baby was born, Choso here was just outright BAWLING okay? Give him love pls.

Sukuna - 5/10 either he accidentally tries to eat the kid or spoils him rotten okay. Deffo primes the baby to be an heir, RIP your sanity when you have both Sukuna AND a mini-Sukuna running around.

Toji - 3/10 I mean we all know how this one goes.

[mango-lovrr]

Would love to hear your thoughts on Maeve because I keep going back and forth on her

Thank you for the question!!! I can never really make my mind up on Maeve personally, she’s one of those characters that I think about a lot because the audience barely knew her and yet she had such a massive impact on the show.

I’ve seen people say that they feel her relationship with Spencer was kinda weird because of the whole geneticist x patient thing, but I think that really over-villainises Maeve. I don’t think it’s anywhere near as strange as dating your boss, and from what I can tell after they started dating she wasn’t technically treating him. Additionally, I feel like her being a geneticist makes them wayyy more compatible. Spencer’s fear of inheriting schizophrenia would deffo extend to giving it to his kids, Maeve would be able to give him answers on that.

As a person, I really liked her up to a certain point. Admittedly I haven’t rewatched season 8 in a while but I remember finding her scenes with him enjoyable because it felt like she really payed attention to him as a person. She saw Spencer, not Dr. Reid (this is partially why I don’t fully get shipping Spencer with other BAU members *cough cough JJ*). HOWEVER, the fiancée thing made me pause the show, pace around my room then scream into my pillow. WHY WASNT IT EVER ADDRESSED AGAIN?? I NEED ANSWERS??? Did she only break off the engagement because of the stalker? Did she still love him? Because if so, that means she either couldn’t see a way to maintain a healthy in person relationship under the circumstances or she was too worried about the fiancée getting involved, and that MAKES NO SENSE!! Because then she dates Spencer for a whole year, so it’s left completely ambiguous whether she still loved her ex fiancée while dating Spencer!!!! He had every right to be freaked out about the fiancée thing (I don’t even remember if they did break up when Maeve went into hiding to make it worse) but he never got to process or question it because she died so soon after. I get why the ex was a part of that arc but I wish the show didn’t immediately forget about him the way they do most things. That’s always been what irked me about Maeve, I feel like if we got more answers on that I’d probably be a confident fan of her. Although I did really love the emphasis on her being out of place and ‘strange’ like Spencer (the scene where they’re both getting ready for the date and Maeve’s shirt collar not sitting right being a parallel for Spencer’s tie always being crooked oughhhhh my heart☹️)

I did love how they handled the aftermath of Maeve tho, Spencer getting emotional support from the team always feels like exhaling a breath I didn’t know I was holding. Admittedly terrified for the max and cat Adams subplots later on but Im only on season 10 rn so im gonna pretend they don’t exist for my own sake!!

Anyway, sorry for that big fat ramble, thanks again for the question!! I’d love to know ur thoughts on her Anon, she’s always been such a divisive character among the fandom and I adore hearing peoples’ perspectives on her!!!

[lostdrarryfics]

lostdrarryfics monthly roundup! June 2024

Below you will find the requests we could not locate in the month of June. Please let us know if you recognize any!

You can also browse our lengthy lost fic masterlist, where we have compiled every request we have been unable to find over the past few years. We're always hoping someone will recognize a fic so we can let the asker know what it was!

1. I read a fic 10-15 years ago about 8th year drarry and their bedroom doors were linked with the person who matched them sexually (obvs drarry matched) it wasn’t on ao3 it was on some old fic website that was a dark green colour. It was deffo an explicit fic.

2. looking for a drarry fic that is also multiple pairings. i read it on ao3, i think 3+ years ago and have been trying to find it since. it's at hogwarts after i think fifth year? harry finds out that students have orgies in the room of requirements, i think its called the five o club or something similar-club, he joins one time and there he fucks draco, the twins, i think also cedric and cho and some others

3. I read it on ao3 and it was fairly long if that helps. It's a fic set after the end of the war, where Draco has gone missing out of the country, Harry finds him living with a group of muggle ocs somewhere, in some sort of shelter, with no memories of his past, not even recalling his name. For most of the fic he's even called by a different name, though I cant remember which

4. I think this fic was fairly known i guess. It was a multi chapter fic. It was set in Hogwarts ( I am not sure if this was the 8th year or not but they were surely not kids). Ron once said that in wizarding world people don't care about gender or sexuality. And that all wizards have a little bit of gayness or poof in them. ( I don't remember the exact wording). Ron also said so we're that draco is pretty and they on care if the person is pretty or not (like not their gender). Hermione and draco have become friends and they were in library talking when Ron came and saw them and he was angry (not too much). Seeing this draco got up and gave Hermione a kiss on the cheek ( he did this with his friends as well, first time he did this to hermione it was an accident). But Ron stopped him by grabbing him from behind and draco just seductively looked over him from his lashes and said Ron. He was then quickly released and gave Hermione one more kiss before going. Ron was then sitting on the table. When Hermione asked him if he was hard () and then started to comfort him like it's fine etc and Ron is just embarrassed and draco is listening to all of this hiding behind a bookshelf. After hearing this he left the library smiling a little. Harry in this fic i am not sure if he thought being gay was bad or not but I remember somewhere that they(trio) were talking about sexuality and muggle saw it as bad and something like this

5. fic where draco referred to the death eaters as "his fathers strange guests" and refused to acknowledge voldy. He mentioned them as having questionable fashion tastes and strange tattoos lol. And everytime harry tried to talk to him about it he would deflect.

FOUND! 6. it was a near direct au of captive prince or perhaps just inspired by so the setting is like foreign fantasy land (do not believe there was magic). it was pretty long, harry was the captured one (for leading a rebellion or such like) and i feel he was often described kinda brutish and draco was described very fair skinned (oppressor cough cough) and etheral perhaps. Definitely was mature or explicit in rating with some detailed sex.

[ibusukiss]

Boueibu Rewatch

Thursday's for the Boys! 4

Season 1 - Episodes 10-12

Episode 10

MEGAWA!!! my favorite side character!!!! I was still deep in love with Free! when this came out so Nagisa's VA showing up was super exciting

i have always been fascinated by the heat pack(?) HANGER that Gora has...is that a jp thing?

tbh...i like megane yumoto more than normal yumoto ^^;

kinchan doesnt give a f abt yumoto's good manners

atsu are u saying a cold is a gateway drug to mental illness...?

The Door!!! Ohhhh how many smut fics ive started writing over the years have hinged (no pun intended) upon that door being there

AKU MADE KOUHAI TOSHITE!!

unrelated to the episode but when this was airing i was taking an 8am class and an asynch-online class and id come home on tuesday after my 8am and Forbid myself from watching the new ep until i was done with my online class homework. i think it posted on CR at 10 or 11am PST? mannnn, community college schedule, i miss you T_T

ok was the blast from ryuu's love stick Very penis shaped or am i just dirty minded :O

megawaXentirebaseballteam fic when

"we were all waiting for you bc we cant say some bullshit about love ourselves" or smthn

Episode 11

i REALLY dont remember this ep

is this the only time wombat calls them 'missionaries of love'? that deffo has a different connotation...

Ryuu youre so wrong thai curry is the best

kinchan's trauma is curry-scented

actually insane what this whole plot ended up being about

BAKA PAWA

glad yumoto supports gora's kink exploration

deffo the biggest stretch for a transformation all season

wow its so funny that student just know there's weird magical boys with blurry faces around

KINCHAAAAAAN DARK AURITE!!!!!!! ICONICCCCC

such a choice for them to find out who the other team is at the Very End

io has his priorities

god i love how petty this whole thing is

aaaaa them referencing back Atsu and En's fight!!!

gora's brocon senses tingling

man i just love the evil student council trope

Episode 12

FINALEEE

there really is an element of Surveillance and Privacy that couldnt easily been touched on more here, Kinchan's reaction skims the surface of it, but it could be So Much More (the theme of my feelings about this show in general)

my question is...is Boueibu the real show, the same show all the aliens watched?

NANDATTE

WOW i completely forgot Gora was a monster

kabuki rule is deffo my favorite 4th wall break here haha

akorima together here was So Important to me

Akoya PUNCHHHHH!!

oh he says akoya here too :D

that tiny akorima conversation fed me for MONTHS

THIS KINATSU MOMENT!!!!

moa betta rabu meikingu was such a choice

my thesis is that LOVE is scifi and HK is fantasy

aaaaaaa i have watch just thiw kinchqn moment more than anything else in this ep lol

did they imply hireashi banged his supervisor?

my gf is watching with me and she says hireashi belongs on adult swim lmao

hhhrhrrr akoya with his hair up is so cuuute

____

that was season 1!!! this show genuinely changed my life, i owe it so much happiness and joy throughout all these years <3

(Fair warning to all who are reading this - season 2 is my least favorite by far so i am gonna probably be more critical of it than s1 or s3. if you love s2 and dont wanna read me bitching about it, i get it! no need to read it lol lets just say i am looking forward to when we get to HK :P but im sure thats not a surprise)

[mangoslam]

Hellcheer addition! (ignoring the 1 like thing as I just want to write about these two crazy kids) 1. Chrissy being single. 2. So I don't have just one, but the music from the soundtrack 'I wouldn't remember me either' which plays for them? It's a beaut! (bit of a cop-out answer this one, sorry). 3. The ship observed by other people (so alternative POV's - Max, Jason, Dustin etc.) 4. Has to be my own as we only got one damn episode. 5. In the woods, when Chrissy says 'me?' so cute and Eddie is just soft and silly. 6. When Eddie heads back to the trailer with Steve/Nancy/Robin in the Upside Down and there's just a missing 'oh shit this is where Chrissy died' moment I would have liked to see. 7. (god this is tough as there's loads) Eddie being really really into eating Chrissy out. 8. I've seen a lot of fics that take Jason's character maybe too far (though yeah, he was a lunatic in the show). I don't think he'd harm Chrissy. 9. The 'opposites attract' angle. They have no business being so perfect for one another - but they are (second option would be how hot they are as a couple). 10. That Eddie would have to step on Jason's toes pretty severely (thanks Joe) and it would be messy. Ideally Chrissy would end it before getting with Eddie. 11. Deffo canon, thanks, but yeah I need them to come back to life in season 5 for more... Time travel? Alternative universe? Come on, Duffer Brothers. 12. Baldur's Gate 3... I could see them both as Bard's but maybe Chrissy could be a Cleric. Chrissy's BFF is clearly Karlach and Lae'zel scares tf out of Eddie (someone write me a crossover with the whole party being there?) 13. Eddie's easier to write than Chrissy, I think. Some authors really NAIL Eddie. 14. I've not been drawn to another pairing from Stranger Things in the same way - but I do like Chrissy shipped basically with anyone ('cause she's pretty). 15. Chrissy. I'd give her a big hug and we'd hang out watching 80's flicks. My girl needs love and take out. 16. The only way I could see this playing out is if one of them tries being all stupid noble and self-sacrificing. Eddie might so Chrissy goes to college (if she wants to stay behind with him) and Chrissy might because she doesn't want him to get hurt by Jason etc. It wouldn't last. 17. I think so - both have vulnerable spots which everyone can relate to. I find myself very similar to Chrissy (especially at her age). 18. I didn't like Eddie leaving Wayne to find Chrissy's body, but I get that's a character choice and he was scared af. 19. Lots? (and I'm new to the fandom). More are incoming, sorry. 20. You know, I didn't get sucked in when I first watched season 4 but on a re-watch? Yeah. I have no control over my fixations and I re-watched when I was recovering from surgery so...plenty of time to go mad? 21. I'm an angst girl. Always have been (but the smut is HOT too).

(psss pass it on - what do ya'll think?)

Template by @aph-cb 

[nikrei]

November Comics Round-Up

Lets goooo!! Starting out with the Fourth World we love to see it!!

Action Comics (409-443) (1972-1975)

Action is starting to use characters and events from Superman and vice versa! Exciting to see. Attention! Issue 440 has Krypto & Green Arrow backup! Important! He's lost his memories and Dinah names him Demian! He's extremely cute!

Superman (248-283) (1972-1975)

They really doubled down on the "every six years on their birthday kryptonians go thru The Agonies due to cultural sadness reasons" But! We do now know that Kal's kryptonian birthday is the 35th of Eorx, and Clark's earth birthday is June 18th! Also we've gotten more into the significance of headbands on krypton, but it is specifically noted as a gender neutral origin (this is important for future reasons).

Superman's Pal, Jimmy Olsen (140-163) (1971-1974)

Holy shit they revived Lucy Lane as an old lady with like three issues left to go what. Okay two issues to go and they deaged her again (but kept the silver hair) (but she still dumped him). Also, there's a "Jimmy had doubles" storyline and it's like everyone has forgot that there was quite a large storyline just two years ago about Jimmy and and his clones. Luthor is explaining what a clone is all over again. The end of the Jimmy Olsen run! They deffo were not expecting it, there was a blurb for "find out in future issues". Overall I'd say that it's a pretty unnecessary read, except for the Kirby bits, unless you really want a Jimmy deep dive. You get a good view of Jimmy as a man of action which isn't really obvious in the main super comics.

Forever People (1-11) (1971-1972)

I have solidified Forever People as my fave part of fourth world (I love u Scott and Barda, but!) Like, sure the storylines are sorta disjointed, and there's an odd little Deadman detour, but I love these kids so much, they are my children!

New Gods (1-11) (1971-1972)/Even Gods Must Die! (1984)/The Hunger Dogs (1985)

Last time I was reading the fourth world, I didn't realize that the 84 run was just reprints with the concluding chapter at the end, so I read it a couple of months after the rest of new gods. It does indeed make more sense when you read it as a part of new gods. Also this is the first time that I've read hunger dogs, and it was fun in that apocryphal way. It is being sad about Essak hours tho!

Mister Miracle (1-18) (1971-1974)

A little after I read this i was watching a truly iconic piece of 90s television that explains how magic tricks work, and everytime they did an escape trick I was like "escape trick?? Like my boy? This is just like my boy!" Of course Barda and Oberon are better assistants than all of those dancing skinny goths combined, so there is that. Shilo is my baby boy, and it got me excited all over again that he becomes Mr Miracle in the early 90s.

Superman's Girl Friend, Lois Lane (119-137) (1972-1974)

I'm really liking the thorn and rose backups and how they often cross over a bit with lois's own adventures. 1972 sees Lois quitting the planet to be a freelance writer after Lucy is revealed to be working for the 100 (!!) and dies (!?!?!). They also put her into a roommate situation with three other women which does have its moments (and also it's bads, 70s stop being fatphobic challenge). There's something really fucked up about Lucy being brought back to life in Jimmy and never showing up in Lois. And with that its the end of the Lois Lane solo! For this one at least they new the end was coming, with a note for lois showing up in the super family mag.

Supergirl (1-10) (1973-1974)

Kara goes to gradschool! She's got into a drama program at a place near San Francisco! This makes sooo much more sense rereading it after reading the rest of supergirl's history!

Superman Family (164-174) (1974-1976)

Okay I am eating my words re: Jimmy getting canceled, this superfam run takes up where his left off at issue 164. Also, I am getting slightly annoyed about everyone jerking Kara around meta-wise. She went to undergrad for ??? (never revealed) got a job as a camera operator for a news show, then they dropped that for her solo, putting her in a graduate drama program and now that her solo's over she's getting a job as a highschool advisor??? And wanting to quit being supergirl with absolutely minimal lead up. Like... have even an ounce of consistency for her! Lena is back though! So she still exists! Then, extremely confusingly the issue after her issue Jimmy has to deal with a small blond psychic boy named Val, who, despite all these traits being exactly the same, is Not Lena's son Val. (Btw Lucy has not showed back up)

World's Finest Comics (210-227) (1972-1975)

I'm generally pretty lukewarm about the imaginary superman jr and batman jr stories... but man.... 222 was one of the grossest, most racist things I've ever read. Its like. Bad bad. Bob Haney when I get you.....

Superboy (182-206) (1972-1975)

Superboy has become comboed with the Legion! Very fun, I like that the members are actually calling each other by name now, too. Also I love Luornu's wedding outfit it's awesome. They just killed off Lyle, what?? Hey. Hey hey hey. As long as we are talking about cloning ethics. What the fuck. Superboy 206 what the fuck.

Adventure Comics (415-437) (1972-1975)

This has gone from Supergirl to an anthology once more! Got to see the origin of black orchid, then it went to Spectre stories with aquaman backups. The Spectre is soooo fun these days he's murdering anyone in horrifying new ways all the time! Garth is still nameless, but the artist is also drawing him like he's 30 (I'm so sorry buddy go back to Scotland).

The Brave and the Bold (100-116) (1972-1975)

Batman gets shot in the heart and is inches from death in one issue and it literally is never mentioned again that's the biggest issue i have with this series is that they know it has a low readership compared to the flagship titles so basically nothing that happens in them matters except maybe to the supporting character with no regular mag appearances. Okay, now a few issues later he's been shot in the chest AGAIN and also has sold his soul to the devil?? And the devil is maybe Hitler?? Buddy.... comics.... what.

Teen Titans (38-42) (1972-1973)

Okay, Garth is at college near Loch Ness and he's wearing a kilt as part of the uniform and i don't care if this is never ever mentioned again this is a cornerstone Garth moment for me. I've made it to the TT hiatus! Things don't quite line up right timeline wise, but I actually put snowbirds don't fly here as far as TT goes. It just makes sense for me that there is just one more support system ended as part of Roy's spiral. I sorta sorta head cannon that he started with painkillers a while back, and then after the peace prize winner is killed that spiraled into more serious use and maybe even starting the heroin, then things get a little better in the Jupiter era when they give themselves their uniforms back, but then they fall apart/drift away and he super falls apart, cause Ollie has gone off at the same time.

The Phantom Stranger (18-34) (1972-1975)

Love that Cassandra and the Stranger have adopted Tannerac as their pet villain and he's just like ??? ??? about everything they do, like hold his hand and save his life. I cannot believe that not one issue after I was getting all excited about this polycule they killed off Tannerac and sent off Cassandra believing that the stranger was dead too. Can't have shit in DC. Now its more and more it's falling into "satanic panic was right" bullshit I'm so tired.

All-Star Western/Weird Western Tales (10-33) (1972-1976)

Little known fact, ever since I first saw the Jonah Hex episode of BtAS I have been low-key obsessed with him, so now I'm picking up the Hex run! Jonah is the OG tsundere it is absolutely ridiculous I love him. I can't believe they have him a wolf buddy and then killed him off not two issues later, so rude. Also, El Diablo is here too, but this ain't about him. So Jonah wears the confederate uniform but also it was teased for a while that he betrayed them in a big way, leading to a large union victory, but honestly I thought that the reveal of what actually happened was pretty.... lukewarm. I know mainstream opinions on the civil war were way more forgiving back then but it was still disappointing.

Shazam! (1-16) (1973-1975)

Excited for Billy time!! V amused that the 20 year break in comics is an in-universe 20 year break as well, with the Marvels and the Sivanas on suspended animation. It is disappointing that it's aimed at younger audiences and is determined to ape the golden age storytelling as well as art.

And that's that for November. Did I think that I had an extra day? Yes. And I Do Not, so here's how the spreadsheet is looking now:

[zombolouge]

twenty questions for fic writers

tagged by the incomparable and enchanting @icescrabblerjerky , and you caught me while I'm already comparing writing stats for other things so this fits in well with that task ;)

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 19 baybeee

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 2,319,545. I am. Verbose.

3. What fandoms do you write for? Dragon Age, Mass Effect, Legend of Zelda, Ace Attorney, Mystic Messenger, and then I wrote the novelization of the song 6969 by Ninja Sex Party and a Caduceus character study for CR.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Indefensible (Ace Attorney) has 1,234 (HA!)

As Bright as the Stars (Mystic Messenger) has 1111 (ALSO HA)

Tearing Down the Heavens (Dragon Age: Inquisition) has 730

Hundred Years in the Making (LoZ: Breath of the Wild) has 627

We Are Ferelden (Dragon Age: Origins) has 271

Genuinely really surprised none of the Mass Effect fics are in this category, I'm so proud of those XD

5. Do you respond to comments? Absolutely always, whenever possible. lol I will also ramble at anyone that asks me questions.

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Probably The Traveler, which I warn you from the very start has a sad ending. It's Dragon Age fic retelling the stories Solas tells of his time dreaming in the Fade, with the trappings of a Doctor Who theme in which he travels through the fade with a series of companions.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Uhhhhhhh I think probably We Are Ferelden comes closes to a happy ending? Eventually I will give my DA series an actual happy ending though. Most of them end either bittersweet in some way or as a sort of non-ending ending because I know the story continues.

8. Do you get hate on fics? I've gotten a wee bit of hate on the Zelda fic, Hundred Years in the Making, but it was fairly mild. I don't really respond to it much though because it's hard for a stranger to say something that will actually hurt my fee fees XD

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Oh yeah, sure. Most my fics contain smut of some kind. I don't really write smut without plot, though, it's gotta be a natural part of the narrative or I just lose interest.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? I have not. I just haven't thought of one that caught my attention enough to want to write it down.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I'm aware of. I have had some lines and suggestions used, but usually that's with credit. lol now I HAVE had jokes and things I've said stolen but that's a bit different.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Nope! I'd prob be open to it but I'd deffo want credited as the OG author.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Yes! I think it's been orphaned now though lol

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship? I CAN'T CHOOSE THIS. But prob Shakarian.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will? I will finish all my WIPs, how dare you doubt me. (The Traveler would have been my choice for this but I FINISHED IT NOW MOTHERFUCKER)

16. What are your writing strengths? Words....go many. Big words. lmao honestly I don't ever really know. I think I'm good at characterization.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Brevity.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? I do it sometimes, but usually make an author's note that it's done with shitty translation software so it will not be Authentic. (if I were putting it in a novel I'd prob pay to have someone look it over, but fic is free and thus my resources put into it are limited lol)

19. First fandom you wrote for? I'm gonna assume the AU crossover I wrote for Pokemon/Dragonriders of Pern/Zelda/Narnia when I was 9 does not count. lol it was Dragon Age tho

20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written? My Mass Effect series, I think. I love different things about all my fics, usually because I was doing different things in all of them, but A Name for the Stars trilogy is something that I'm most proud of. Almost every scene in that serves a plot purpose and I wove a LOT of different things together to create one cohesive thing, and I think if you can get through all of it, it has the biggest bang for the buck. Also I burned that realllll slow XD

I will tag @jusbeinkt and @kesla and @literarypeachtea and @tinkeringteacup (do it if you feel like it, no pressure here frens lol)

[evansbby]

ok i just finished season one of vanderpump rules and here are my views on all the characters: (pls dont spoil anything for me!!)

Stassie - I honestly love her unhinged energy and i admire how at such a young age she knows exactly what she wants and how she should be treated. Sure, she does like to stir the pot in her own love life and she plays games but it’s still honestly really cool how she stands her ground and doesn’t let anyone gaslight her. Still don’t know how she kept giving that manchild Jax so many chances and paying all the bills despite him being 10 years older than her but yeah! She’s deffo my fav character and i truly admire her confidence!

Jax - this manchild pissed me off from day one! Like he’s honestly the biggest loser and the biggest example of how men will have the prettiest most confident girl and yet still fumble the bag and continuously fuck up. I knew he did cheat on her in Vegas!! And it’s not even the cheating part that’s the worst, it’s the way he lied to EVERYONE and maintained his innocence, made Stassie out to be a crazy liar, isolated her from all her friends, started dating another Sur girl 10+ years younger than him who was Stassie’s friend, and totally tried gaslighting Stassie when she knew he cheated on her!!! He is a testament to how fucked up men are! Seriously i cannot believe him yet at the same time I’m not surprised. And to act like that at his big age is insane. Like this is genuinely psychotic behaviour, to maintain a lie and make the girl you supposedly love look crazy??? That is insane…

Scheana - she was kinda underwhelming? Like at first I thought she’d be the main character but all her parts were so boring and Stassie is deffo the main character. I couldn’t care less about Scheana at the recording studio trying to be a singer. Also her makeup was pissing me off lol. I kinda expected her to bring a little more drama, or see some Brandi/Scheana drama but nope. Nothing lol.

Kristen - loser number one. She was supposedly best friends with Stassie for three years yet EASILY ditched her and believed Jax over her and just became a bitch to Stassie as if their friendship meant nothing. Like the biggest lamest loser energy exuding from her. Truly follower energy. Like she follows the crowd and cannot think independently. Like it’s okay to not blindly support your girlfriends but when your supposed bestfriend is being ostracised by everyone, the least you could do is stick up for her? Not ditch her too??? I bet she feels stupid as fuck for believing Jax the liar over Stassie.

Katie - same as Kristen but like… not as bad? Or rather… she’s doesn’t really have much of a personality tbh. A follower lol.

Tom S - he was so irrelevant??? He just seemed to hate Stassie a lot low-key and honestly he gives unhinged energy but we didn’t get much from him so idk.

Laura Leigh - she ate during her speech to Jax at the end lol. She was a lot more mature than him despite only being like 22. She deserved better although she should’ve known better than to get involved with Jax.

Now, onto the reunion and season 2!

[abominationvault]

Session 47: Sat 10 Aug 2024

Notes minimal this week, hand written due to migraines!

(Discussing Jorg’ath’s walking speed) Hartvig (giggling): “Just to clarify, his height is five feet, right?”

Jorg’ath, miffed: “You can pack that in right now.”

The DM has been working on dragging us all in line with the new updates this week: we all have new backpacks, which negate the first two Bulk of items in them! (Sprocket’s has reins, and a Disney character on it.)

Magic talk; updates, and checking we were all doing it right. (Yes, and no.)

We all get 100gp and some of us get magic items as the DM has been short-changing us. Nadia and Skabb present a dilemma; we don’t have a lot of magic items, but we do have a lot of runes in our equipment. The DM decides to leave us as we are for now. We all also receive 3 Lesser Healing Potions!

Luna has a new feat: Quiet Allies. If we Follow the Leader when she sneaks, she can roll stealth for us (minus her Dexterity mod).

(Discussing our various strengths and weaknesses, Hartvig: “I think Sprocket is a series of dump stats joined together with buttons.)

Lots of IRL workout talk; Hartvig has been in the gym with a lot of lumpy people. Jorg’ath’s routine is simple: “Pick ‘em up, put ‘em down. That’s it.”

Hartvig has done his character sheet from scratch, renaming the old one ‘Legacy Loser’ and the new one ‘Hartvig 2.0’, making the DM spit his coffee.

We start without Sprocket and Luna, as BWJ is really going for it tonight. Kids, eh!

Recap: Nadia waddled into a big old enemy and nearly got us all killed! She is still feeling sheepish. The DM says we can’t go back to town as it would take too long (we’re quite far down in the Vaults now). We will rest here instead. Jorg’ath wants to patrol; he and Nadia barricade the doors. After one terrible roll and one fairly good one, we are confident that the barriers will hold - or at least, make noise if something tries to get in.

Nadia takes first watch, and the others use some spell slots for healing before we rest. Though nothing happens on first watch, Nadia hears sounds of crashing and breaking coming from far away. Nothing to wake the others over as the sounds don’t seem to be moving closer.

Jorg’ath takes second watch - he hears scratching and whining coming from the barricade in front of the main, doorless entrance to the room. He investigates: Nature check, 15. He’s not sure what it might be, other than it seems to have claws, and for some reason it smells like Skabb…? He glances over to make sure she’s still with us - she is. Perception check 21, and he hears her muttering in Goblin. It sounds as if she’s saying “He comes…”. He opens the barricade and -

It licks him and goes to lay down next to Skabb. Jorg’ath wakes her and gets punched for his trouble. Skabb rolls over to see the giant rat; Jorg’ath asks if she knows what it is.

“Goblin dog! Don’t pet it, it’ll give you a disease.”

She was told about Rabies in a dream, we discover. She jumps on Rabies’ back. Where did her bollock-sprouts go, she demands? Gone, they were only tamed temporarily. She pats Rabies’ pus-y bits (being careful of the spelling) and takes 3rd watch as she’s now too excited to sleep.

Rabies can’t fight or take turns in combat, the DM explains. He’s just a mount. “He’s a mighty mighty Goblin Dog!” Skabb shouts. (He isn’t, the DM says. He’s very much a rodent.)

Daily preparations happen: Nadia makes some bombs and Skabb, who has a new cauldron, makes a potion. It smells… bad. There is a base note of mildew and burnt hair. (Long discussion about Swedish fermented fish, and Japanese fermented beans.) We pack up and move on…

More doors! We tiptoe past ‘Grandma’s’ door. We don’t want none of her sugar cookies. (It’s locked from outside. Deffo nothing super crazy dangerous in there.)

Luna peeks through some doors and finds a corridor. Check for traps with her new feat, which gives her a +1 circumstance bonus for trap checking. (Luna TrapFinder 3000.) She detects no traps within 15 feet and moves forward. Nadia follows, covering her.

This place seems converted for use as a prison. Luna finds three cell-like rooms, nothing in two, but a thick layer of black sludge in the third.

Skabb wants a look at the sludge. Could she eat it? She’s brought a straw! She and Sprocket move forward for a closer look. Something rears up -

Initiative!

Nadia petitions for a free attack, as she was covering Luna and Skabb for exactly this reason and was waiting on something like this, and the DM allows not just an attack but a whole round. All three of her shots hit, even the red 17; the crit doesn’t take because the Pudding is immune to those. Still some good damage out the gate though.

The pudding goes first after Nadia’s surprise round, and Sprocket (who was paddling around in the ooze) finds himself forced to make a Fortitude save to avoid being grabbed. Somehow he manages to twist out of the way! It does hit him with a pseudopod, though, and Skabb as well for good measure. It crits against Skabb, and she is out. It tries to grab and drag her but it can’t, I think because of Goblin Dog.

Luna steps to where she can see the Pudding, and using her new Striking Shortbow, attacks for 11 damage. She attacks again but I think it misses, her attacks aren’t showing up in the chat.

Hartvig goes for a Needle Darts but misses. Hero Point, hits! 12 piercing damage, and Guidance for Nadia.

Nadia grabs Skabb, unconscious, and runs back to the main room with her, earning a Hero Point for… well… heroics.

Skabb fails a death save, she is Wounded 1.

Sprocket is stuck on the pudding, but not restrained. Green 20 Strength check to escape! Some incredible feats of physical prowess from the poppet today. He dashes away and into a different prison cell, scrambles up onto a footlocker and casts Phase Bolt. Sadly it misses, even though the spell can go through walls. He moves Augustus up for the next round, and that’s his turn.

Jorg’ath sees unconscious Skabb, Rages, and does some smashing. 32 hits for 16 slashing bashing! The pudding splits in two… 12 misses, Hero Point for 24. It splits again… At least they’re smaller now. Skabb: “Breakfast!”

Jorg’ath makes a Reflex save and fails, so his weapon begins to take acid damage from the Pudding’s corrosive flesh.

One of the puddings smacks Jorgy, then the one near Luna attacks her three times. The DM generously halves the damage, as the puddings are smaller now. Still 40 damage after a lot of calculations, ooof. (Hartvig: “If you make me do maths like that, DM, I’m quitting the game.”)

Some hits, some misses against Augustus, Nadia and Hartvig. Luna busts out her new dagger. “Stabstabstab!” Howdydoodis! It dries into… Hmm. Something even Skabb probably shouldn’t eat.

Hartvig does Needle Darts on the one in front of him for 13 damage. He then extends a pale, cadaverous hand and uses Nudge the Scales, healing Skabb a little bit. “Fanks cadaver-hands!” Skabb is conscious, Wounded 1.

Nadia Howdydoodis’s a small pudding, and Hero Points her miss on the big bastard for 7 damage.

Skabb does Blazing Dive, launching herself at the big pudding. Nadia nominates her for a Hero Point, seconded by Hartvig and Luna, and it is granted by a very amused DM.

It takes 9 damage from her attack but makes the save. She bites it, Hero Points her 13 for a 20! 7 damage. Skabb waits with her mouth open for the pudding to disintegrate and fall into her chops.

(It turns out Jorgy’s sword is magical, so it isn’t being dissolved in acid after all!)

Sprocket is up. Phase Bolt through the wall - 19 hits for 12 (force?) damage. No - it’s magical piercing. Rinse and repeat, miss, Hero Point, hit! 14 more damage, another Bolt but it misses.

Jorg’ath wants to make more mini-puddings. Bosh - Howdydoodis! He spins around so that bits of pudding fly off his blade in a shower of filth, delighting Skabb. Blood-smoothie!

(Skabb wants to know if puddings are aberrations; they are not, and are in fact their own separate category of creature.)

Jorg’ath climbs on a table and strikes a heroic pose, waiting for the rest of us to heal up and snuffle for treasure.

Side note: Hartvig is a Duskwalker now, not a Fetchling; he got an update. Explains the cadaver hands, and the lack of dust. Similarly, Nadia is no longer a Tiefling but a Nephilim.

Skabb scratches Rabies’ tummy and hops on his back. Another side note: we, by virtue of travelling with Skabb, are functionally immune to Goblin Pox - unless she wants to infect us.

Onwards!

Jorg’ath opens ‘Granny’s’ door just to see what she really is. He knocks, but hears nothing. He knocks louder; still nothing, not even the echo of his knocking. Luna has a listen. She thinks there’s magic cast on this door. Has it been Silenced, perhaps? Jorg’ath moves some debris out of the way and Sprocket casts Detect Magic, but it reveals no new information. Jorg’ath sniffs, hoping for sugar cookies, but there is no smell at all. He uses Oversized Throw to fling some debris at the door to try and break it, but the debris just smashes to pieces against it.

Skabb thinks we should try Dispel Magic, or maybe a crowbar.

Jorg’ath wants to use his Lightning Tongue ability to lick the pins out of the hinges; as his Strength is so high, and also it’s hilarious, the DM allows it. (Skabb: “You’re gonna get tongue-cramp!” And then, more to herself: “And they think I’m gross…” Sprocket, to himself: “… So this is normal as well.”)

Jorgy boots the door open, and standing there, hands over his head, is something called Chafkhem:

There are runes on the floor; Sprocket takes a look. They seem to be blocking any type of teleportation magic… Jorg’ath pokes his head in. “Hello there!”

We finish there, and Hartvig refocuses by singing The Black Parade and reduces his curse back down a level.

[clowncalvary]

Reviewing Every Animal Crossing New Horizons Villager (Because I Have Fallen Down The Rabbit Hole) Part 5

This really is just another deep dive into the nonsense that I get myself into. 400+ villagers is so fucking much. But I will endeavour! I will push forward!!

Dobie: SO, my moirail has this dude on her island and every time that I see him I smile! He just seems like such a grumpy old man that has a heart of gold. 3000 Bells.

Doc: What a goofy ass looking man. I'm going to see them at the library and they are going to compete with me over who has read the most books. And I will get stupidly invested in the argument before I realize how dumb it is. I'm going to count each individual manga I've read as a full book, Doc, and there is nothing you can do to stop me. 69 Bells. Haha.

Dom: Awe! I love that we share a nickname and aesthetic! His horns kind of remind me of a large carnival lollipop. Unfortunately there is not enough room for the both of us on my island. 420 Bells.

Dora: Ugly ass lookin' mouse. Can't they make at least one cute mouse? I'm begging all of you. Please. Mice can be cute! 0 Bells.

Dotty: Why are all of the rabbit villagers (except that one) so enchanting and cute? I want a separate island just to put them all on now. 500 Bells.

Drago: Awwww. Someone has seen one too many animes. 0 Bells.

Drake: This is just a Scooby Doo villain. He is going to scheme to take the fortune of a bunch of weirdos that just turns out to be worthless confederate dollars. 0 Bells.

Drift: Frog. Ugly. 0 Bells.

Ed: Giving the horse emo hair was not going to make him better in my opinion, now we just have a blue emo horse. 0 Bells.

Egbert: This man has never slept a day in his life. He is always staring at the sky. Not wondering, but knowing that one day it will happen. The sky will fall. 10 Bells.

Elise: >:/ I feel like they are doing this just to taunt me at this point. -8000 Bells. Pay me for the mental damage you have caused me.

Ellie: She has the charm of an old timey cartoon. I mean, I still don't want her on my island because I can't stand the elephants, but she is still good. 50 Bells.

Elmer: Horses. Damn Horses. Why are there so many horses? I'm going to freaking count them at this point, but there are so many. Why even bother? 0 Bells.

Eloise: We are right back to the elephants. Why does she look like flan? Hate that for both her and me. 10 Bells.

Elvis: This is just the guy that was torturing animals in Robin Hood. The disney version that made all those kids into furries. 10 Bells. 12 because of taxes of course.

Erik: Now we know what rudolph would have looked like if they removed his nose. Deffo a downgrade. 0 Bells

Étoile: It isn't bad! I'm just not vibing! Perish! 50 Bells.

Eugene: Oh! An ugly koala! That's new at least! 10 Bells.

Eunice: She looks like Muriel's (Courage The Cowardly Dog) fursona that her husband made her because he thought it was cool and would make him money. 100 Bells.

Faith: A second ugly koala! I did get suckered into scrolling through her wiki, so they did get me with that. 40 Pity Bells.

Fang: Who gave the wolf eye shadow? Better yet, why can the wolf do better eyeshadow than I can? Love that for him actually. 777 Bells.

Fauna: Normla is probably the best personality type for it, because that's about how I would describe her look too. 100 Bells.

Felicity: She reminds me of a model from an old fashion magazine! I also had to look up when Tweed Dresses were in fashion, so I now think she is either really into old fashions or a time traveler. 1960 Bells.

Filbert: This is not a real man. He is staring at you through your window at night. 0 Bells.

Flip: -500 Bells.

Flo: EMO PENGUIN. EMO PENGUIN. EMO PENGUIN. EMO PENGUIN. 420 Bells.