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But it didn't turn out the way you wanted it to.

--- i spent the past 4?... 5? days locked in on this. this is the first time ive animated in...years?? all for a spamton nine inch nails amv. please enjoy

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sorry i have got to be a weird dyke about this

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IF IT'S BROKEN THEN IT'S JUNK!!!

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Something I find to be important about Tenna's character which feels like it's often missed when talking about him is the fact that, during his breakdown, the effectiveness of your reassurance (if you choose to abide by his requests) significantly wanes.

The validation you provide falls upon deaf ears; the repetition of the sentiment does nothing to quell the now completely unavoidable reality of Tenna's insecurities.

He is antiquated and he knows it, which is why he's helplessly fixated on others corroborating his worth.

At some point, "I love TV!" stops being a comforting mantra. It morphs into something suffocating. If he needs to prompt it, it isn't real. If it's not real, neither is his value. It's addictive empty calories which never satiated to begin with; except now the shame overrides the satisfaction.

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spamton & lancer i drew in Rudimentary art games (broblox plus skribbl.io)

Also a WIP. Smiles at you really wide baring my gums.

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the light..

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OK i finished Angela Lineart and i have a plan to tackle the "furniture ".

randall's going to be in a spotlight and outside of the spotlight will be my usual line patterns drawn in such a way to suggest tangibility... like a warped, abstract version of what is physically there. And then the spotlight will be Searing Blinding Stark contrast to that. No lines. Ok!!!

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was going to be for rnly week lost/found but the topics are sad so I'll just post it on its own!

cw for implied suicide attempt and very light blood on bandages

everything will be okay

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I know I've said this one hundred billion times already but I actually want to finish this after work today. As in, I have a Desire to do so that isn't simply fueled by a sense of obligation.

I'll probably go against my original plans of having a background + actual Seats for Angela and Henry to sit on... because I don't feel up to that and I'm proud of the work I already did so I want it to be Out There. and i think I did a serviceable enough job with their posing to convey that they are Seated anyway?

I have a very clear Vision involving a spotlight and different color palettes to elevate the intent here.

Oh also I'm getting my nostril pierced after work. Today will be GOOD!

W.I.P.

And you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife;

And you may ask yourself, "Well, how did I get here?"

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I like when people draw his side profile like Charlie Smiling Friends.

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spamtenna but theyre yuri

day 38

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Day 5 - Lost/Found

when I smelt the sweat on your skin

and saw the fear in your eyes

that's when I knew

I found you.

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Have been extremely tired and depressed this past week. It's been a while since I've experienced the Classic Symptom of having little to no desire to do anything except sleep, but I'm going to be productive after work today. I have my work out and I want to draw.

I'm back at a point where I feel a bit lost with my art. I know the Solution is to be loose with it and Have Fun. But this is Difficult to achieve during the process when your self worth is largely contingent on Making Your Presence Known With Your Work and Receiving External Validation as a reward for it. I do enjoy art, of course. It's hard to ascertain how much of that has to do with Genuine Enjoyment versus the need for consistent output.

I know it's illogical and a horrible highlight of the insecurity that plagues my life, but the length of time between Work I Post That I Am Proud Of weighs heavy on me. The longer I go without sharing something that feels Worthwhile, the more I feel as though I am slipping between the gaps. I Need To Be Seen. Please See Me.

Simultaneously, I wanted to take a small step back. I know it is not necessarily Right. But there is safety in isolation. I want to be Known. But I Want To Be Known in a Very Specific Way and it feels catastrophic to be "Misinterpreted ".

In any case, I feel slightly more motivated than I have recently. I will experiment with my Plans and see if Having Fun with Art is in the cards for me today. I hope it is. Part of the problem is that it's something you benefit from by thinking Less about. I am Not good at that!

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City Date!

Ranlay Week day 3: City

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Day 3 - Country/City

fun on the farm

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gonna draw spamton as well, soon... Which I planned to do today but i started to overheat and get Really Really Angry which slowed down my Roll .

Want to get my interpretation of them down for some nice practice plus a reference point BIG HUGE GRIN.

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Ranlay Week Day 1 Past | Present

Past Thoughts and Regrets