#here’s the positive: less hostile environment

[lesbianstarlightglimmer]

Hope y’all’s day went better than mine

[ailesswhumptober]

Prompts for AI-less Whumptober 2024

As promised, we're bringing you the official prompt list of AI-less Whumptober 2024 today!

We have 31 days of excellent whump prompts, with three prompts per day to pick from, fun themes, and 10 alt prompts to play around with. We hope you enjoy! Additional info + plain text versions of the prompts can be found under the cut.

FAQ and Rules

What sort of content can I create for this event?

You can create whatever you want (fic, art, edits, etc). Any fandom is allowed, as well as OC stuff. NSFW is allowed, but please tag your content accordingly! The only thing not allowed is AI-generated content.

Do I need to make 31 things to participate?

Oh heavens no! You can make as much or as little content as you like, skip days when desired, or combine prompts (so for example, write something that covers a prompt from day 1, 2, AND 3). You don't have to do the days in order either, go wild! To be considered a 'completionist', you only have to make sure that at the end of the month, you've covered 31 prompts from 31 different days, but whether you do that in 31 works or just 1 is up to you.

What are these alts about?

If none of the three prompts of a particular day are your cup of tea, you can swap them out for an alt prompt of your choice.

What are these themes about?

Just a little bit of extra fun for the mods. Like last year, we'll be handing out various badges for people participating in the event. A full list can be found here, perhaps there is a special badge or two for people who can't be completionists but who do manage to finish every single day of a specific theme ;)

How do I tag and is there an AO3 collection?

It suffices to tag your work with #ailesswhumptober for us to see and reblog it! Please also tag nsfw, since we'll be using that tag too. Tagging the day is optional but does help the mods along.

There is an AO3 collection to add your fics to here.

That should be all. If you have any additional questions, check our pinned or hit us up in the ask box. Or join our discord maybe, whumping can be a great group activity!

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Plain text versions of the prompts:

October 1 - Torture Tuesday

public torture/public use, stress position, “If you cry, we’ll go easy on you.”

October 2 - Whumperless Wednesday

Unfortunate fall, car accident, “Don’t move. You’ll be okay.”

October 3 - Trauma Thursday

Shared trauma, survivor’s guilt, “It’s not your fault.”

October 4 - Fright/Freaky Friday

Painful transformation, non-consensual body modifications, “You’re a monster.”

October 5 - Sensory Saturday

Overstimulation, migraines, “I can’t take this anymore.”

October 6 - Surprise Sunday

Multiple whumpees, self sacrifice, “I’m the only one who can do this.”

October 7 - Medical Monday

Field medicine, running out of supplies, “Hold on, we’re going to have to improvise.”

October 8 - Torture Tuesday

Rope burns, gagged, “You’re so much prettier this way.”

October 9 - Whumperless Wednesday

Hypothermia, heatstroke, “You look pretty pale.”

October 10 - Trauma Thursday

Self worth issues, pushing away a loved one, “You don't need to earn this.”

October 11 - Fright/Freaky Friday

Hallucinations, truth serum, “Why would you even say that?”

October 12 - Sensory Saturday

Isolation, sensory deprivation, “Can you feel me? I’m right here, whumpee.”

October 13 - Surprise Sunday

Whumpee using themself as bait, defiance, “Take me instead.”

October 14 - Medical Monday

Seizures, concussion, “See if you can follow my finger with your eyes.”

October 15 - Torture Tuesday

Waterboarding, removing body parts, “Don’t break down on me yet.”

October 16 - Whumperless Wednesday

Drowning, hostile environment, “I don’t know how anybody could survive that.”

October 17 - Trauma Thursday

Abandonment, misunderstanding, “Why did I even think you cared?”

October 18 - Fright/Freaky Friday

Mind control, possession, “Everybody will end up despising you.”

October 19 - Sensory Saturday

Disassociation, losing a sense, “I wish I could get you back.”

October 20 - Surprise Sunday

Enemy/Stranger to caretaker, accidental de-aging, “I’m absolutely not qualified for this shit.”

October 21 - Medical Monday

Drugged, ambulance ride, “This will make you feel better, okay?”

October 22 - Torture Tuesday

Forced (to kneel/watch/hurt somebody else), whipped, “Do not look away.” October 23 - Whumperless Wednesday

Fever, passing out, “Hey?! Stay with me, okay?!”

October 24 - Trauma Thursday

Deconditioning, relapse, “It’s normal that you need more time.”

October 25 - Fright/Freaky Friday

Humiliation, betrayal, “How could you?!”

October 26 - Sensory Saturday

Electrocution, burning, “This is going to sting.”

October 27 - Surprise Sunday

Before vs after, Alternate universe, “Well, there’s a first for everything.”

October 28 - Medical Monday

Internal bleeding, needles and stitches, “I didn’t think the wound was that bad…”

October 29 - Torture Tuesday

Ownership, branding, “Everybody will know that you’re mine.”

October 30 - Whumperless Wednesday

Poison, delirium, “You’re not making sense.”

October 31 - Trauma Thursday

Panic attack, facing a phobia, “You need to get out of here!”

Alt prompts:

1) Pistol whipped

2) Co-dependency

3) Animal bite

4) Zombies

5) White room torture

6) Shock collar

7) Pulling teeth

8) Kidnapping

9) “You always make everything worse!”

10) “If you weren’t around, I’d be long dead by now...”

[tempobaekh]

Light in the darkness

Pairings: grumpy!bucky x sunshine!nurse!f!reader

Warnings: little bit of angst, a bit of asshole bucky, hurt to comfort, kind of enemies to lovers but it’s mostly buck, no reader physical description so can be read as any appearance, female reader

A/N: got inspired to write this one after i came across @apparentlytheproblem account and enemies to lovers prompt list. there is a lot of good stuff there so i thank her for motivating me to write this, I used some of the prompts from that list, they will be highlighted in the fic. also got the trope inspiration from @buckyalpine (I absolutely love your writing) this fic here I absolutely love it, with perfect amount of angst and cuteness please go read it!! anyways enough of my yapping, enjoy reading!!<3 (also please listen to these two in this order for more feels, I myself was listening to them while writing this and omfg it got me in the feeeels)

The infirmary of the Avengers compound is a well-lit, sterile environment, but you've managed to make it warm with your presence.

Cute little potted plants all over that were practically your babies, small fidgeting gadgets for anyone to fidget with (particularly for Bruce and Tony), small snacks placed in different containers scattered around the infirmary (frequently emptied by Tony), and a few stuffed animals placed here and there, all meant to make the space less intimidating.

You’ve always been a naturally optimistic person, someone who sees the best in everyone and everything. The Avengers compound, with its high-stakes missions and often tense atmosphere, was a perfect place for you to share your sunny disposition.

The team appreciated it—your laughter, your kindness, your unwavering positivity. They said you were a breath of fresh air, a light in the often dark world they navigated.

Every day, you greet the team with a cheerful smile, your laughter echoing through the corridors like a soothing melody. Everyone seems to love you—everyone except for Bucky Barnes.

From the moment Bucky set foot in the compound, he knew he was out of place. Haunted by his past, he kept his distance from everyone, preferring the silence and solitude of his own company, he mostly stuck to Steve and would occasionally have a Sam-sized problem hanging behind him.

He barely speaks to anyone, and when he does, it’s usually to snap or grumble. With you, he’s even worse. There’s an edge to his voice, a coldness in his eyes that seems to cut through your sunny disposition like a knife.

When he first saw you, with your bright smile and cheerful demeanor, he felt a strange pang in his chest—a mix of longing and irritation.

You were everything he felt he could never be again: light-hearted, carefree, a beacon of hope in a world that still felt foreign and hostile to him.

A world where he was still hated by some- or many.

Every time you laughed, it reminded him of what he had lost, of the darkness that had claimed his tortured and scarred soul. He hated that feeling, that reminder, and by extension, he hated that you were the one to evoke it.

From the moment you met him, he seemed determined to extinguish your light. His coldness was a stark contrast to your warmth, his gruff demeanor a perpetual challenge to your cheerful one.

At first, you chalked it up to his history, his need for time to adjust and heal. You were patient, giving him space while still trying to make him feel welcome.

Every day, you made small efforts to connect with him. You brought him coffee with extra sugar, hoping the gesture would soften his grumpy exterior. You cracked light-hearted jokes, trying to coax a smile out of him. You even complimented his metal arm, not out of pity, but genuine admiration. Yet, every attempt was met with indifference or a sharp retort.

Your jokes were often greeted with a curt nod or a dismissive grunt, and your compliments seemed to make him even more uncomfortable, his eyes narrowing as if questioning your sincerity.

Despite your efforts Bucky kept his distance and rejected. When you brought him coffee with extra sugar, he grumbled about preferring it black.

“I prefer my coffee black,” he would say, barely looking at you as he set the cup aside, not noticing the hurt look on your face.

When you made light-hearted jokes, he responded with curt nods or dismissive remarks. When you complimented his metal arm, he saw it as pity, a reminder of his brokenness. Your persistent cheerfulness was like a spotlight on his scars, and he resented you for it.

But deep down, Bucky knew that his anger wasn't really directed at you. It was aimed at himself, at the man he used to be and the man he thought he could never become again.

Your presence forced him to confront emotions he had buried deep within himself—emotions he didn't know how to handle. Every time you tried to break through his defenses, it was like a chisel chipping away at the walls he had built around his heart, and it terrified him.

Each brush-off, each cold response, chipped away at your resolve, leaving you more confused and hurt.

It wasn’t just the rejection that stung; it was the feeling that you were the only one he treated this way.

Everyone else seemed to get along with him fine, or at least, they didn’t bear the brunt of his sharp edges. You couldn’t understand why you were the exception, why he seemed to harbor a special kind of disdain just for you.

You tried not to let it show, maintaining your sunny facade for the sake of the team. But inside, every encounter with Bucky left a small, invisible wound.

You would smile through the pain, and laugh through the hurt, but the weight of his rejection grew heavier with each passing day.

Nights were the hardest, lying in bed replaying your interactions, wondering what you had done to earn his ire. Wondering and thinking where you went wrong, blaming everything on yourself.

And yet, despite the pain, you found yourself drawn to him. Maybe it was the challenge he represented, the mystery of his cold exterior, and the glimpses of vulnerability you occasionally saw.

There were moments, fleeting and rare, where you caught a glimpse of something softer in his eyes—a hint of sorrow, a flicker of regret. Those moments made you wonder about the man beneath the armor, the soul behind the scowl.

Gradually, your frustration and sadness turned into something more complex.

You began to care for him, despite his harshness.

You noticed the way his jaw clenched when he was upset, the way his eyes softened when he thought no one was watching, the way he fiddled with either his dog tags around his neck or his sleeve when he would get anxious, the way the sound of any whirring machine close to him would subtly make him jump.

You saw the pain he carried, the ghosts that haunted him, and your heart ached for him.

You wanted to reach out, to comfort him, to show him that he didn’t have to face his demons alone.

But every time you tried, he pushed you away, and it hurt more than you cared to admit.

Your feelings grew in the quiet moments, in the way you found yourself thinking about him even when he wasn’t around, in the way your heart raced at the sound of his voice, even when it was laced with irritation.

You realized you were falling for him, despite his best efforts to keep you at arm’s length.

You were falling for James Buchanan Barnes.

And he hated you.

One evening, after a particularly brutal mission, you’re restocking the infirmary when the door slams open. You jump, nearly dropping a box of gauze.

When Bucky stumbled into the infirmary, bleeding and in pain, he didn't want to admit to himself why he came to you. He could have gone to anyone else, but something—an instinct, a need—drove him to seek you out.

Bucky stumbles in, clutching his side, blood seeping through his fingers. His face is pale, eyes dark with pain and something else—frustration? Anger? It’s hard to tell.

“Barnes!” you exclaim, rushing to his side. “What happened?”

A strange mix of emotions flooded you. Concern for his well-being, of course, but also a glimmer of hope. Hope that maybe, just maybe, this would be the moment he finally let you in.

He grunts, shaking his head as if to dismiss your concern. “Just patch me up.”

You guide him to a bed, your hands surprisingly steady given the state he’s in. You quickly gather the necessary supplies, your mind racing with questions.

Why did he come to you? He usually avoids you like the plague, very often going to Helen instead of you no matter the severity of the injury.

As you begin to clean his wound, he hisses, muscles tensing under your touch.

“Sorry,” you murmur, your tone soft.

He doesn’t respond, just watches you with those intense baby-blue eyes. It’s unnerving, but you refuse to let it shake you. Instead, you focus on your work, your movements gentle yet efficient.

Bucky watched you work with a mixture of frustration and awe. Your hands were gentle, your touch soothing, and for a moment, he allowed himself to feel vulnerable in your presence.

As you stitch him up, the silence between you grows heavier, filled with unspoken words and unexpressed emotions.

Finally, you can’t take it anymore. You wrap up the last of his wound and look him straight in the eye. “Bucky, why do you hate me so much?” your voice trembled with frustration and hurt.

He blinks, clearly taken aback by your question and his response took you by surprise. “I don’t hate you.”

You blink for a second and then scoff, shaking your head, trying to process his words. “You could’ve fooled me. You’ve been nothing but cold and an asshole since the day we met. I just don’t get it. Everyone else likes me, but you. You go out of your way to avoid me like I'm some plague! You always brush me off rudely and call me a bother when I try speaking to you only to speak with the others like it's nothing! You can't even give me the decency of respect, you pretend that I don't even exist!."

You stop, realizing you have almost gone to shouting, and take a deep breath in.

"Why?" your voice is quiet and broken, hurt and horse. Your eyes glazing with unshed tears,

Bucky felt a surge of conflicting emotions. He wanted to push you away, to keep you at a distance where you couldn't hurt him. Where he couldn't hurt you with his broken soul, and the demons from his past.

But the heart-shattering sadness on your usually lit-up face, made him also want to pull you closer, to let you in and see the parts of him he kept hidden. It was a battle between his fear and his longing, and for the first time, he felt the fear of losing.

Specifically, losing you.

“I’m not...used to feeling this way, okay?” he snaps, the admission seeming to cost him. His jaw clenches, and he looks away, refusing to meet your gaze.

For the first time, you saw something other than anger in his eyes.

Vulnerability.

Fear.

“Feeling what way?” you press, your voice shaking slightly, your frustration bubbling over. “What did I ever do to you?”

He’s silent for a long moment, the tension in the room almost suffocating. Finally, he lets out a long breath, his shoulders slumping, his emotions pressing down on him. “I feel the opposite of hate...towards you,” he admitted, his voice raw and honest.

The revelation left you breathless. All this time, you thought he despised you, but in reality, he was struggling with feelings he didn’t know how to handle. Your heart ached for him, for the battles he fought within himself.

He watched your eyes widen in surprise, your mind trying to process his words.

The words hang in the air, and you can hardly believe your ears. “You...what?” your voice barely a whisper.

Bucky turns to face you, his expression a mix of vulnerability and determination. “You heard me. I don’t hate you., far from it. You’re always so...bright and happy. It messes with my head. Makes me feel things I thought I’d forgotten how to feel. You make me realize that I can feel a romantic attraction towards someone, you make me realize that I can have some goodness in life. You make me feel want. To want something and not feel selfish.”

You blink, trying to process his confession. “You...want me?” you asked, hardly daring to believe it.

Without hesitation, he answers, “You know I do.”

A slow smile spread across your face, and for the first time in a long while, Bucky felt a glimmer of hope.

The weight of his confession settled over you, bringing with it a mixture of relief and tenderness. You smiled a slow, genuine smile that lit up your face. “Such a pretty liar, mhmm. And here I stressed over that you hated me.” you teased, your eyes sparkling with mischief.

He couldn’t help the small smile that tugged at his lips, his usual gruff demeanor softening.

He grumbles, his cheeks flushing slightly. “Shut up and kiss me.”

You don’t need any more encouragement.

You leaned in, your lips meeting his in a sweet, tender kiss. It’s hesitant at first as if you’re both testing the waters, but it quickly deepens, the pent-up emotions of the past months pouring out in that one perfect moment. It was a kiss that spoke of all the unspoken words, the hidden feelings, the pain and hope intertwined.

When you leaned in and kissed him, it was like a dam breaking. All the emotions he had bottled up for so long—fear, longing, hope—flooded out in that one perfect moment.

Your lips were soft and warm against his, and for the first time since he could remember, he felt at peace.

As the kiss deepened, Bucky knew that things wouldn’t be easy. He still had a long way to go, and there were still demons he needed to face. But with you by his side, he felt a renewed strength, a reason to keep fighting.

When you finally pulled back, breathless and smiling, Bucky felt something he hadn’t felt in years: happiness. Maybe, just maybe, he could be more than the sum of his past mistakes. With you, he could be the man he once was—the man he wanted to be.

You pulled back, breathless and smiling, and a little dazed, you knew that this was just the beginning. It wouldn’t be easy, but for the first time, you felt like you had a chance to break through his walls, to reach the man behind the mask.

You can’t help but laugh softly. “Maybe you’re not such a grump after all.”

Bucky smirks, a rare but genuine smile lighting up his face. “Don’t push your luck.”

You giggle, the sound like music to his ears.

As you finish bandaging his wounds, the atmosphere between you has shifted. There’s a new understanding, a connection that wasn’t there before. Maybe things won’t be easy, and maybe Bucky will always be a bit of a grump, but you’re determined to be his sunshine, to bring light into his dark world.

And maybe, just maybe, he’ll let you.

Bucky's confession had changed everything. In the days following that night in the infirmary, his demeanor towards you began to shift.

The once icy wall he maintained seemed to melt slightly, and while he wasn't exactly warm, there was a newfound softness in his eyes when he looked at you.

Still, the past months of his coldness and hostility left a lingering tension between you, a wound that needed healing.

You knew that a kiss and a confession would not be enough to cure his long-standing hostility toward you; you knew you both needed to have a conversation.

One evening, you stayed late at the compound, finishing up some paperwork in the infirmary. The sun had long set, casting the room in a dim, serene glow from the soft lights overhead.

You were engrossed in your work when you heard a knock at the door. Looking up, you saw Bucky standing there, looking hesitant and unsure. Your heart skipped a beat, a mixture of anticipation and wariness flooding you.

“Hey,” he said quietly, stepping inside.

“Hey there you,” you replied softly, setting your pen down. “What’s up?”

He took a deep breath, his expression serious. “I need to talk to you.”

You nodded, gesturing for him to sit in the white chair, that currently had a cute Dumbo plush placed on it. Bucky grabbed the plush before sitting down and placed it in his lap, fidgeting with the ears, his large frame taking up more space than usual, his presence filling the room.

There was a moment of silence, and you could see he was struggling to find the right words.

“I’ve been an asshole,” he finally said, his voice low and earnest. “I’ve treated you terribly, and you didn’t deserve any of it.”

You watched him, your heart aching at the sincerity in his eyes. “Bucky-”

He held up a hand, stopping you. “Please, let me finish, I've been wanting to say this for a while because you deserve an apology. You’ve been nothing but kind and patient with me, and I repaid you with coldness and cruelty. I pushed you away because...because I was scared. Scared of what I was feeling, scared of getting close to someone again. I know my behavior is not to be excused but I'm being honest doll." he pleaded.

You swallowed hard, the raw honesty in his words touching something deep inside you. “I get it, Bucky. But it still hurt.”

“I know,” he said, his voice pained.

He stepped towards you, gently taking your gentle hands into his calloused ones and continuing to speak while tracing patterns on your skin with his thumb, the gesture comforting him. “And I’m so sorry for that. I wish I could take it all back, but I can’t. What I can do is promise to make it up to you. I want to show you that you won’t regret giving me a chance.”

Your heart fluttered at his words, a tentative hope blooming within you. “How do you plan to do that?”

He looked at you with such intensity that it took your breath away. “By being there for you, by treating you the way you deserve to be treated. I want to make you happy, sweetness. I want to be the man you see in me, the man you’ve been so kind and patient with.”

You felt tears prick at the corners of your eyes, overwhelmed by the sincerity and determination in his voice. “Oh Buck…”

“I crave you, doll,” he said, his voice dropping to a husky whisper. “I crave your touch, your smile, your laughter. Every part of you. I’ve tried to fight it, but I can’t anymore. I need you.”

The intensity of his confession left you breathless. You placed a hand on his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart beneath your palm.

“I need to know you mean it,” you whispered, searching his eyes for any sign of doubt.

He covered your hand with his, his grip firm and reassuring. “I mean it, Y/N. I’ll spend every day of my life proving it to you if I have to.”

Before you could respond, he leaned in, his lips capturing yours in a kiss that was both desperate and tender. More intense than the last one. His hands found your waist, pulling you closer as if he needed to feel every inch of you against him. The kiss deepened, filled with all the pent-up emotions and longing that had been building between you.

When you finally broke apart, both of you were breathing heavily. You looked up at him, your heart pounding in your chest. “You really want this? You really want me?”

“More than anything,” he said without hesitation. “You have no idea how much.”

A slow smile spread across your face, a mixture of relief and joy washing over you. “Well then, show me, Barnes.”

He grinned, a rare and genuine smile that made your heart soar. “With pleasure.”

He kissed you again, this time with even more passion and intensity. His hands roamed your back, pulling you impossibly closer, any distance in between being excruciating. You responded in kind, your fingers tangling in his hair as you poured all your emotions into the kiss. It was a promise, a beginning, and for the first time in a long while, you felt truly hopeful.

As the kiss ended, Bucky rested his forehead against yours, his breath mingling with yours. “You won’t regret this, doll. I promise.”

“I believe you,” you whispered, feeling the truth of his words in your heart.

The moment of intimacy is shattered by the sound of cheering and whooping from the doorway. Startled, you both turn to see Tony, Natasha, Steve, and Sam standing there, grinning like a bunch of mischievous teenagers who had just witnessed their friends’ first kiss.

“Finally!” Tony exclaims, clapping his hands together. “I thought I was going to have to script it out for you two. Turns out Terminator actually has the balls to confess." he snickered, seizing a snack packet of dried blueberries and munching on them.

Natasha smirks, crossing her arms over her chest. “Took you long enough, Barnes. We were beginning to think you’d never make a move.” the redhead pauses and winks at you.

Steve steps forward, a proud smile on his face. “About time, punk. I knew you had it in you.”

Sam laughs, shaking his head. “And here I was thinking the Winter Soldier was all cold and no heart. Looks like our sunshine melted the ice.”

You feel your face heat up, a mix of embarrassment and amusement washing over you. Bucky, on the other hand, rolls his eyes, his cheeks slightly flushed. “Do you guys mind?”

Tony steps forward, still grinning and munching on his snack. “Not at all. We’ve been waiting for this moment for months. I mean, the tension was practically killing us.”

Natasha nods in agreement. “It was like watching a bad rom-com where the leads are too stubborn to admit they like each other.”

Bucky sighs, shaking his head but there’s a small, genuine smile tugging at his lips. “Well, enjoy the show. It’s over now.”

Steve chuckles. “I don’t think it’s over. I think it’s just getting started.”

You laugh, feeling lighter than you have in weeks. “Alright, alright. You’ve had your fun. Now, can we have a moment?”

Tony raises his hands in mock surrender. “Fine, fine. We’ll leave you lovebirds alone. But don’t think we’re not going to talk about this later.”

He turns to you and points at the packet in his hand, "Also thanks for this sweets," and struts out.

As the group begins to disperse, Natasha gives you a wink. “We’re happy for you, babe. You deserve it.”

Steve pats Bucky on the shoulder. “Good job, Buck.”

Once they’re gone, you turn back to Bucky, who’s shaking his head, a look of exasperated affection on his face. “I swear, they’re worse than a bunch of kids.”

You smile, wrapping your arms around his neck. “I think it’s sweet. They care about us.”

He sighs, pulling you closer. “Yeah, well, as long as I get you to myself now.”

You lean in, brushing your lips against his. “You do. And I’m not going anywhere.”

As you kiss him again, the echoes of your friends’ teasing fade away, leaving just the two of you in the warm, comforting glow of newfound love.

With that, you knew that this was the start of something new, something beautiful. It wouldn’t be easy, but together, you felt ready to face whatever came your way. And with Bucky by your side, you knew you could handle anything.

Note: gifs, pictures, and header DOES NOT belong to me. CREDITS TO THE RIGHTFUL OWNERS!! Feedback and reblog is appreciated.<3

[birder-of-remnant]

Neo and Weiss

(Note: This discussion contains spoilers from Roman Holiday)

RWBY's rise from a small nickel-and-dime web series to an expansive universe with a passionate fandom can be attributed to any number of winning aspects. Perhaps none more so than its powerful storyline built upon complex character interactions and even deeper allusions and symbology. But while these canonical interactions have shaped the fandom, we should not forget how influential less-developed relationships have been. Whether they be rareships or simply characters who have never/rarely interacted on screen, we have seen an outpouring of fan-created art, stories, and discussions dedicated to creating these connections. Today, I would love to explore two characters, rarely associated with each other and yet are almost mirror images of each other. Two girls who grew up under similar conditions but decided to walk completely disparate paths.

Childhood - Spoiled and Neglected

Both Trivia Vanille (who would become Neopolitan) and Weiss Schnee were born to rich families and highly influential families within Atlas and Vale respectively. While they were spoiled beyond measure, both were ironically deprived of the one thing they needed most, the right to self-determination. They were abused by their fathers and neglected by their mothers. Both Jacque Schnee and Jimmy Vanille cared for their daughters but always put their own political ambitions above the good of their family and society (both of whom also colluded with criminal elements to gain prestigious governing positions... for a heavy price). And when Weiss and Trivia rebelled, they were imprisoned within their own rooms (until they escaped).

Likewise, Willow and Carmel loved their daughters but failed to protect them from their vengeful fathers. In Willow's case, it was a tragic tale of abuse and depression. Carmel was more manipulative and self-absorbed. Regardless, the abuse and neglect that they received left them scarred.

Despite their similar upbringings, there are still notable differences in their circumstances. First, Trivia was an only child with no friends and little contact with anyone other than her parents, who she felt disconnected with. By contrast, Weiss had two siblings. This changed the nature of their loneliness. For Trivia, the mansion was a forlorn and friendless environment. For Weiss, family life was hostile and bitter; while most non-family members (except for Klein) were either detached or sought to exploit her for their own ambitions.

Loneliness and Pain

Both Trivia and Weiss were deeply lonely. And yet, the way they handled their loneliness was completely separate. Weiss internalized her misery, hiding it under an icy and imperious facade. Trivia could not be more different. While Weiss was introspective, internalizing the isolation, Trivia externalized her trauma to create an imaginary friend named Neo. And just like her mismatched eyes, her personality was split between these two personas.

This loneliness was symbolized by glass for both of them. For Weiss, it was looking into the mirror and seeing someone she didn't recognize. While for Trivia, it was the use of illusions, especially illusions of breaking glass. Both of them are noticeably asymmetrical as well, symbolizing how neither was the 'perfect' heir to their family names.

This all comes back to their upbringing. In addition to simply being two, very different people, Weiss was a very public figure. In addition to the hostile family atmosphere, she was also shown off like a prized gem. She sang, she fought, and most likely, she socialized. She represented the family and had the mantle of responsibility thrown upon her shoulders from a young age, causing her to draw in upon herself. By contrast, Trivia's parents were ashamed of here. Between her muteness, mismatched eyes, and 'shameful' semblance (in contrast to Weiss's singing voice and lauded semblance), she was hidden from the public face. She was kept a secret from all but a few, paid-off associates. As a result, she lashed out and externalized her frustration.

School, Love, and Revenge

School offered an escape for both Weiss and Trivia but they had wildly different experiences. Trivia didn't get to choose her school and was forced into a hostile environment where every girl sought to manipulate others to reach their ends (much like Weiss's upbringing). Weiss chose her school and in doing so, managed to escape her loneliness and expand her world horizons. But one thing it gave them in common: it was through this experience that they found that special someone who they could finally connect with. Trivia's relationship with Roman was fraught at first, neither trusting the other. And well, we know the history between Ice Queen and Crater Face, and wild and beautiful story that has evolved from that one tenuous moment.

School was also a turning point for both of them. It was where they developed their semblances and set them up for the conflicts ahead (as a side note, the headmaster/headmistress of each institution also proved more duplicitous than they seemed). It set them both up on a wild journey that would eventually lead them back home for one final confrontation with their fathers. Both ending quite spectacularly, if with very different tones. But while Weiss had the opportunity to make up with her mother and siblings, Neo became further traumatized by her parents' deaths and her role in it. It was through this trauma that she abandoned Trivia and became Neopolitan.

The Path They Walk

I am fascinated by how parallel their stories are and yet completely opposite. Their childhoods were steeped in wealth, neglect, and loneliness. They both found that one special person who could rescue them from their loneliness. And yet, while Neo may be more powerful, there is little doubt in my mind that Weiss is stronger. Neo's semblance was all about hiding from her pain, while Weiss's was built upon her progression as a person (e.g., how her ability to summon the Nevermore despite never having slain it is representative of her trust in Ruby). Both are highly empathetic. Yet while Neo uses her empathy to exploit other people. To understand their habits and motives so that she can convincingly imitate or exploit them (for example, how she thoroughly understood Ruby's greatest fears and weaknesses and used this psychological understanding to torture her). By contrast, Weiss is not just empathetic, she actually sympathizes with other people.

Weiss looked into the mirror and overcame her darkness. She created relationships with a community of people, despite her social awkwardness and frosty aloofness. And when that one person who was most special to her died, she carried on. Her trust in Ruby and her ideals drove her forward. By contrast, Neo was never able to overcome her various traumas. She was consumed by her reflection, becoming Neopolitan and allowing 'Trivia' to die (albeit, Neo was always a part of her). Neo was never able to recover from Roman's death, not until the very end. Weiss found happiness, connection, and purpose, while Neo was left empty after exacting her revenge. What if their roles had been reversed, how would that story have turned out?

Anyways, I hope you will excuse me if I missed other salient connections between them. My writing may be obnoxiously verbose but my analytical abilities are perhaps mediocre. If you are actually still reading this rambling mess, thank you! That is very Weiss of you!

[gotskamstuff]

I'm gonna be honest here, words cannot describe how much I hate that Rudison thread on Twitter and how resentful I am to that person for creating it.

The whole thing is narrating fans speculations and rumors as ultimate facts on what happened to Rudy and Madison behind the scenes when in reality NO ONE knows what happened between them for certain and what angers me the most is knowing that these are exactly the type of things that make both of them (especially Rudy) even more distant and cold and detached from the show.

I might be dramatic but this shit could've singlehandedly made things catastrophic for the show, there's no way it hasn't reached them or anyone from the cast/Netflix... like, 18 MILLION views and 80k likes is insane and I know for stuff like this Rudy would lose his mind.

I honestly can't stand when the "fans" act like this towards Rudison, they're always crying about how much they miss them and how they wish they could go back to what they were and then they purposely go on social media doing and saying things that they know damn well Rudy and Madison can't stand at all, it's almost as if they do it on purpose…and then act all surprised when the two of them get uncomfortable on camera.

What good is this gonna do to them and to the show? It's only gonna make things 10 times worse and much more hostile, the only thing this helps with is creating an even bigger fracture and a more uncomfortable environment for them and the rest of the cast/crew.

If Rudy wasn't leaving the show already maybe he will now, 'cause a shit like that going viral to 18 million people AND COUNTING, I know is gonna make him (and Madison) mad.

I'mma be honest, I truly hope they sue for that thread (especially since the account is now monetizing from it with the blue check) 'cause it ain't normal how easily people think they can say and do whatever they want behind a screen about people's personal lives without any repercussions (‘cause news flesh Rudy, Madison and their partners are people whose mental health also matters).

Spreading fan speculations and rumors as real facts and creating such a malicious image for the both of them to MILLIONS is insane.

We always say "omg they're so immature" but to be honest Rudy and Madison have been far too patient for far too long, people constantly say the most deranged things to them and their partners (including friends and families at times) without any consequences...it's not normal.

On the long run shit like this inevitably has consequences on their mental health and their relationships and there’s gonna be a point when they’re gonna be TOO fed up and can’t deal with it anymore, don’t act surprised then if they leave the show, y’all did this and seem pretty happy while doing it.

That thread created such an unpleasant atmosphere right before the release of the new season and attracted so many negative reactions towards them that I honestly don't understand how anyone who calls themselves fans of the show, of Rudy or Madison can be giddy about it.

Play stupid games and win stupid prizes... don't act surprised if Rudy leaves OBX or if they don't look at each other in the face during promo when some "fans" do THE MOST to add fuel to the fire.

It’s less than 2 months since the release of a season that we've waited for almost 2 years and the fandom should be filled with excitement and positivity talking about the story and theorizing about it, yet everyone is doing the most to ruin it focusing on the wrong stuff (which are sadly hard to ignore when the consequences effect the show hence all the fans).

I hope by the time the season comes out y'all will have calmed your tits with the malicious gossips, bunch of Regina George wanna be.

[medievalandfantasymelee]

Just wanted to say thank you for curating an intentionally positive, nontoxic environment for your tourney. I feel like people need to A) let go of the kind of aggressive attachment to their contestant that leads to outright hostility, and B) if you don't find someone attractive, move on! I skip polls sometimes bc I don't find either contestant to my taste, and it's an important skill (for lack of a better word) to look at something and think "hm. This is not For Me" and Keep Scrolling™.

Also, I really appreciated your "everyone's hot to someone" comment.

Sincerely,

Constantly voting for the losing contestant

The aggressive attachment/hatred is somehow both less and more concerning than if this tournament was based on the actors to be, because on the one hand, at least they're not fixating and projecting onto a real person or the memory of a real person, but on the other hand, Daemon Targaryen i mean [insert contestant name here] isn't real. He can't hurt you, there's no need to be so angry.

You and all who suffer heavy losses in this tournament have my deep and heartfelt sympathy.

[librarycards]

asking this not as a gotcha, but genuinely for perspective, as i respect how much you've read and wrote about antipsychiatry. so, i was committed in a psych ward as a teen, and the help i received there inspired me to pursue becoming a pediatric psych np. there's a lot about the system that angered me, but the good nurses i met there had an impact on me. i've also had a rough time finding the right prescribers for meds as an adult, and i've considered working primarily in medication management- to be the attentive resource that i wish i had years ago. i see you've answered someone who aspired to be a therapist- but would my goal be more likely to hurt than help, in this system? i intend to be critical, and not spout shit like ODD as a legit diagnosis; rather, my main goal would be to recognize how a kid's home is affecting them, as having that safer space away from my own home helped me realize the context of why i was that way. but plenty of people claim to have the best intentions, and then become abusive once in these positions of power, so perspective would be very appreciated. thank you

hey anon - thanks for this message. i've answered similar ones a few times before (1) (2) (3), but here are a few thoughts:

honestly, most good/good-intentioned people don't last very long in highly abusive institutional environments. my current therapist started out in a residential ed treatment place, and left to start a private practice because she couldn't stomach the abuse she faced from her superiors, nor the abuse she was expected to inflict upon residents. i have disabled/Mad friends who have gone into social work and/or psych-focused medicine. i do not know of any who have stuck around in psych ward/other high-control settings. it's a painful, demoralizing job even for people without lived experience, never mind for those of us who have been through it as patients.

the ones that stay often harden. there are always exceptions - there were a couple of staff in each of the places i was that were truly special people, not because of the institution but in spite of it - but most of the staff i encountered, from psych nurses to house parents to psychiatrists to social workers - were sharp and cold. maybe you won't become this, but either way, you'll have to put up with it.

and that's the fundamental problem, imo. even if you preserve your own code of ethics, you will not only be structurally limited by the regulations and demands of wherever you work, but you will also be in an atmosphere at best apathetic and at worst actively hostile to the autonomy and well-being of patients as such. you will have to choose between standing by at times of injustice/violence, or risking your job. we both know what happens behind those locked doors.

at the same time: these units will not close if you choose not to work there. people will not stop needing medication management; kids will not stop needing support amid abusive family/home situations. at the same time, it is in practice extremely difficult to effect real change for kids experiencing abuse - hard to get kids out of abusive homes permanently, hard to find non-abusive foster families, impossible to effectively support traumatized young people in these times of transition given the piss poor systems we have.

whether you'd be "hurting more than helping," while a fair question, is beside the point. i'm not entirely sure it's possible for anyone within these institutional strictures to 'help' in a long term sense at all. BUT, you would certainly make peoples' lives/stays in the hospital less painful in the short-term, even if you're pulling your hair out with frustration at the intransigence and needless cruelty of your colleagues. while you're considering what to do in career terms, i think it's also worth considering leadership positions where you can be a safe, supportive adult for young people without the expectations of the institution - a scout leader, coach, theater director, etc. (these are also not mutually exclusive with actual careers ofc) if you wanted to focus on the medical space, patient advocacy is also an option.

overall, i don't want to uniformly tell you "don't ever go into that", because, as i said, the position will exist regardless and i would prefer Mad kids to have as much access to compassion as humanly possible in a profoundly cruel system. but i also want to make clear that the violence attendant to that system will not be escapable for you, nor will you be able to move through it without perpetuating some of your own. think carefully about what you're able to tolerate.

[louissatturi]

TRANSLATION OF (ADULT) BAGI DIARY REPORT ABOUT THE ISLAND

Report - Month 1

It has been less then a month, since i woke up in this island. That already was inhabited by dozens of people and all of them look like they have been in here longer then me.

They had eggs and treated them like children (how weird??) And just talk about their missing.

About my head, i still heven got used uncannyness of a empty mind yet. I don't remenber anything. How the people that love me must feel?

Being forgotten is the same as dying.

How my brother is? Who is he? Is he even alive? Will (he) still be here? Did i came to find him? But my parents??

I don’t remenber your face and neither your name, just the feeling of his existence... It looks like a lost my other half.

The least worst part is that somebody is helping me in recover some of my memories, and i don't think it's a part of the federation's planes that i remenber the reason to be in her Our maybe is it? Are they playing with me?

Being in this island is unberable. The people in here welcomed me very well, showed me their houses and said their names... but the rest?

I don't know who they are, what they do, if they are even well.... they already know each other for months and don't have any reason to trust me, i know... but it needed to be like this? So closed. I ended up closing too.

It's clear that most of them receive weid messenges and hide information all the time. Do they even trust on their friends?

The only ones that shared some (personal) information untill now ware Tina and Etoiles, in one (conversention) witch we talked about your favorite foods and costumes

Badboyhalo kinda became my friend too. Probably the person (?) That spended the most and added me in everything! Stuff seems simpler when i'm near him.

Even the brazilians, that welcomed me so warmily, seem being focused in their own personal investigations

All the information i found out there ware already "common knowlege"

Pac stands out amongs them. It's defenily a person with a big heart and the one that most adds that people he trusts in investigations, I question myself if somebody close to him could try to harm him

Forever is a open mouth* (like me) i never saw Mike and Felps... is Felps. Cellbit intrigues me alot, i still can't read him yet.

I stumbled in some of his personal storys

However, it seems that everyday something is heppening with them. I wanted to see them more often...

Except for Cellbit, I trust him but i think it's safer to people to not know this. I need to observe him from afar and understand who is watching him.

He seems a great investigator and i know i'ts some of the most dangerous positions somebody could gave in a hostile environment

If somebody betrays him, i defenily need to act and keep all this information safe, starting with this

Diary, And sorry since now, men, but i beraly know you. (I) Can't interfere so to not compromise the investigation.

(I) Don't know how to say if i have suspects in the moments, because i need to know more about their names names and adresses to know if i have allies or enemies.

PS: Remember to keep an eye on Forever and the information we get about him! He aperently disapeared in a quest in search or the eggs - send by Cucurucho- and dosen't know when (and if) will comeback.

Keep an eye on the french too, they posses a lot of information and looks like they always share between themselfs. Their union could be great but could also be a problem if trust in close eyes between each other.

[devildomditzy]

imagine mammon getting him and mc into a serious accident and mc ends up losing an eye or something and he feels so bad but mc still loves him ,, like angst but with a sweet ending :')

Accidents Happen - Mammon x MC

Lol i couldn’t think of what to name this one we’ll give it a better one in post

Part one of ?

TW: Potential body horror, lots of angst

——————————————————————————

“Pleeeeaaassse”, your voice rings out to him from your position where you sat on his bed. Your sweet, beautiful, annoyingly cheery voice.

“Yer not comin’, MC. Like I said this place is dangerous for demons, let alone some little human like you.”

Mammon doesn’t spare you a glance as he continues grabbing miscellaneous items and shoving them into his bag. Increasingly becoming frustrated with his lack of attention, you hopped off the mattress and skipped your way over to his closet, where the second born scoured through his belongings. When he turns towards the sound of your footsteps, he is met with the saddest pout you could muster.

“Please Mammon! I promise I can handle it!”, you whine, blinking up to him with wide, puppy dog eyes.

“Gah! Don’t look at me like that! L-like I said, it’s for yer own good!”, he blushes, eyes looking anywhere but at your pleading expression.

Gently, you reach forward and grab his hand, running circles over his knuckles. The way he tenses up at your touch is not lost on you. A few touches and the right words could make the avatar of greed putty in your hands.

“I’m not just some regular ole human, I’ve survived down here long enough!”

You read his features, still finding him less than convinced. Time to roll out the big guns.

“Plus, if I’m in any danger.. I know The Great Mammon will save me. You know, being my first man and all… he’s so powerful and strong and-”

“Okay! Fine. You can come with me, ya spoiled brat.”

Sweet, sweet victory.

While you spin around and do your small happy dance, the demon before you can’t help but smile widely at your antics. Of course you’d be fine, you’ve some how managed to survive down here in the Devildom just fine. You’ve somehow managed to make pacts with him and all of his brothers. You’ve charmed everyone here, even the demon prince himself. What’s one small trip to the depths? And it’s not like he wouldn’t be with you every step of the way.

Really, what was he worried about in the first place? He should have told you to pack a bag as soon as Lucifer told him about the “favor” he was asking (forcing) him to do for Diavolo. Just maybe he wouldn’t let Lucifer know he was bringing you along…

“Alright, go pack yer things and meet me back here in ten, alright? If your comin’, yer gonna hav’ta listen to every word I say, capeesh?”, he questions, eyes narrowing in on you as you raise one hand to your forehead in salute.

“Aye aye, Captain!”, you giggle before running off towards your bedroom. Your not exactly sure what Mammon is venturing for yet, he’s kept it pretty vague as to not pique your interest. When will he learn wherever he goes the human is sure to follow, you think, smiling to yourself. Plus, no way you’d pass up a chance to see Devildom territory previously uncharted by yourself. This was the chance for adventure! A chance to not be cooped up in the dorms! A chance to skip class!

Not knowing exactly where you are going or what you are going for aside, you shove what you assume might be useful in a “hostile environment” (hairbrush? toothbrush? the mace Asmo gave you for downtown? an extra pair of shoes?), and haul your bag and yourself back to the bedroom door of your first man, finding Mammon staring down at his D.D.D impatiently.

“Ya know, you take forever gettin’ ready”, he complains, not braking eye contact from the device. “Oh, says the boy who takes forty-five minutes on his hair every day!”, you tease back. Mammon’s face shoots up at that comment, expression hurt as he feigns offense, “That was supposed to be our secret!”. He brings a hand up to defensively splay across his chest, turning his face away from your direction. “Can’t believe ya. I’m offerin’ to be yer tour guide and this is how ya treat me? I outta charge ya.” “How’s this?”, you ask, rolling onto your tippy toes to place a chaste kiss to his cheek. Just like clockwork, his skin flashes a bright pink and he begins stuttering. “H-hey! Ya can’t just do that outta nowhere! T-trying to distract me n stuff - We got a very important mission ya know!”.

You smirk up at your very flustered first man, “By all means, after you”, gesturing towards the hallway that leads to the front door.

Flying was a sensation you’d never get used to, you think to yourself. Ever the showboat, Mammon has taken to the Devildom skies with you in his grasp many times before, but each trip felt new. The bristle of the cold wind against your skin, the pit that formed in your stomach when you glanced down. It didn’t help now that you wore both your bags, your backpack strapped against you and Mammon’s duffel bag across your side. They felt weightless with the way he carried you, but your mind couldn’t help but wander to the notion of how much faster the extra pounds would make you plummet towards the ground had you fallen from this height.

He picks up on your nervousness quickly. He wasn’t born yesterday, and while he isn’t the smartest of his brothers, he knows your anxiety when he sees it. “Just hang on tight”, he reassures, yelling over the roar of the wind, “I’ve gotcha. Wouldn’t let anythin’ happen to ya either.” You notice the grin that plasters across his face as you tighten your grip around his neck, but decide not to tease him. After all, he could tease you right back for the warmth spreading across your features.

You don’t know how long you’ve been flying for, but you do know the atmosphere has taken a turn for the worst. The air has become thick, almost like a fog that was hard to take in. The landscape below changed drastically, as the bustling city began to disappear and buildings became fewer and fewer, until all that was left was pointy, jagged cliff formations and cracked rock stretching for miles. You fail to think of anything the Demon Price could possible need from a barren wasteland like this. You’re ripped from your train of thought as Mammon’s begins your descent down.

He sets you on your feet gently, stepping back to give you some room to bush yourself off. Your hands shoot up to flatten your fly-aways; You still wanted to look good in front of him, even if you were in the middle of a stretch of desert. “We’re almost there, it’s just about a mile up ahead”, he points outward, and your eyes follow the direction of his finger. “Why aren’t we flying in”, you question, almost innocently as you continued to fix your hair. “Cuz,” he responds “they like to shoot things out of the sky.”

Beginning to worry that maybe this journey wasn’t for you, you keep close to Mammon as you both set pace for a larger crack within the oranged Earth beneath your feet. “When we get there, just follow my lead ‘n stay quiet, got it?”, he instructs. “I can’t have ya steppin into any deal makin’.” You figure now would be as good a time as ever to ask, “Hey Mammon, what exactly does Diavolo need you to get anywa- Woah!”

Your train of thought is cut short as the opening you both were seeking comes into view. Now, peering down into the large gash in the rock you see a large, bustling city. Market stalls line the streets for miles, shrouded in darkness, attended by people who seemed less than savory. You feel a hand touch the small of your back as Mammon takes a breath. “Be careful when we go down, n’ don’t leave my side for a second.”

Through twisting turns and back allies of disheveled buildings and litter lined streets, one thing is clear: your first man knows his way around these parts. “So, do you come here…often?”, you ask honestly, ignoring the irony of the statement. Ever his cocky self, you receive a “course ya wanna use a pickup line of The Great Mammon! But uh… I usually only come here on business.”

“Oooooh, so there’s illegal casinos around here?”

“O-Oi! I never said that!”

“But you were thinking it, right?”

“Shut it, half pint!”

A little bit more walking leads you both to what seems to be his desired destination, a wide street lined down the sides with various booth and vendors of all different shapes and sizes. You curiosity wants you to ogle and browse every table in site, but Mammon’s iron clad grip finds its way onto your hand, seemingly knowing your thoughts before you could even say them. “This ain’t the type of place to be window shoppin’. They’ll con ya out of all the grimm ya have. Hell, once they see yer human, they won’t stop til they con ya outta yer soul.”

With that notion, you decide it best to let him lead you straight on, sucking your head down as to not make eye contact with strangers that were suddenly finding you very interesting and very out of place. You walk for a minute or two before Mammon’s pace comes to a halt in front of a crowded table filled with various bottles and potions, specimens and creatures enclosed in cages. The bubbling of the entire table would have distracted you, if not for the more interesting character behind the booth.

Standing behind his wears sat what appeared to you as a walking reptile, a lizard on two legs - wrapped in a cloak and blinking his large, orb like eyes on at a time at the two of you. His tongue shoots out of his mouth, licking his eye before he speaks. “Aaahh, Avatar of Greed - What a pleasant surprise! To what do I owe the honor?”

Mammon rolls his eyes with distain for the title as opposed to his name before responding. “Yup, it’s me. And ya already know what I’m here for, alright?

The creatures eyes look off into two different directions. “But of course! I was hoping maybe this time it’d be different. Perhaps, you’d like to trade… that is a fine specimen you brought with you, Avatar.”

It takes Mammon a minute to realize the “fine specimen” the shop keep was referring to was you, but once he does, you can tell he enters attack mode.

“HEY! The humans not for sale ta’ you, or anyone else in this damn dump, got it?!”

The shopkeeper laughs to himself as he turns his back to you and Mammon, disappearing into his tent before re-emerging with a slender bottle filled with swirling, silverish liquid. “Relax, Avatar of Greed - It was merely a joke!”

“Yeah? Well i’m not laughin’!”, Mammon barks out, hand coming down to snatch the bottle from the lizard-like creature’s hands.

The merchant continues to laugh before speaking once more. “Aaahh, it’s always a pleasure, Avatar of Greed. Do give the Demon Prince my humble greetings…and be careful with that potion…precious cargo and all…”, he ominously trails off.

“Yea yea yea, I got it. An’ quit callin! me that!”, Mammon snarls as he shoves the bottle into your hands. His annoyance getting the best of him, Mammon doesn’t realize just how much force he shoves the bottle with until he hears a crack and looks over at you.

Standing dazed for a split second, you register the feel of the liquid splashing over you. The first thing you feel is the burn. It covers your hands where Mammon tried to hand you the glass bottle, your chest where it had splashed up on you, and your eye, your left eye where it hurt the worst, where you reached a burning hand up to clutch it, only worsening the potions spread. You scream in agony.

“Oh, that’s too bad…damaged specimens never sell for much”, the shopkeeper trails off, seemingly now losing interest in you as you writhed in pain. It takes a second for Mammon’s feet to catch up to his brain.

Running forth he grabs you, pulling you into his embrace, ignoring the liquid which now splashed onto him, burning the surface of his skin. He could heal just fine, you on the other hand…

At your wailing of his name, Mammon turns to shop keep, claws out. While careful not to hurt you worse, the fire in his eyes was unmistakable. “WHAT THE HELL WAS IN THAT VIAL!”, he spits through his barred fangs.

“Oh..It appears I may have gave you the wrong one…little accident is all, Avatar of Greed. Allow me to grab you the correct vial,” the lizard like creature continues, seemingly unaware or uncaring of your intense pain.

Holding you in the grip of one arm to his side, Mammon reaches over the table with his clawed arm, grabbing onto the shopkeepers shawl and lifting him slightly into the air. “Ta hell with the vial, get me some kinda healin’ potion! Somethin’ to stop their pain!”

The shopkeep seems unfazed by his behavior. “My my, looks like someone wants to draw a crowd! Unfortunately there’s nothing I can do to reverse the effects of the silvervine’s serum.”

“Ya better find somethin’ or I’ll hurt ya twice as bad as they’re feelin’ right now!”, Mammon growls, aura shooting in a such a threatening way you’ve never experienced before.

The creature begins to look meek at the threat. “I can’t do anything, but I can tell you the name of a sorcerer who may be able to assist.”

Mammon’s grasp quickly looses on his robes and he shoots his attention towards you. “Solomon!”, he exclaims.

With that, Mammon carefully cradles you in his arms and flies faster than he ever has back towards R.A.D, back towards Purgatory Hall.

[swallowerofdharma]

Yashiro’s Cruel God part five

Yakuza

I am uneasy about this topic. It’s hard not to think about what I despise about the mafia on a deep deep level, especially when considering what values these types of organizations really want to preserve. My analysis here is less dispassionate, I actually really wish for Yashiro to escape from this world. Hirata’s disruption helped him get out of the group at least temporarily, although he can’t really be free of all the obligations he maintains in regards to Misumi.

As a character that was meant to be completely unlikeable, I really enjoyed what Hirata brought to the story, the final confrontation and long dialogue between him and Yashiro was brilliant too, really showcasing Yashiro’s awareness and ability to move around in this hostile environment, mostly because he understands how men in this world think and the emotions that motivate them: ambition, greed, envy and jealousy. Even when incapable of reaching a top position for lack of ability or the right conditions, they crave a spot near the most powerful, while experiencing an internal conflict between admiration and resentment. A world where real loyalty and trust are rare currency, but entirely based on the pretense of those bonds. A deeply deeply homophonic world, exactly because men have to maintain status and appearances in a precarious equilibrium and shifts of power are always dangerous and destabilizing. As a consequence the only position that men can hold on to is the one at the top. As a form of power/prevarication and expression of that position, sex with other men can be occasionally tolerated, but Yashiro is an element of disruption because he doesn’t let go of his power and he is able to accumulate and maintain it, while not being nor wanting to be in the top position. Misumi let him keep the power, while people like Hirata or Ryuuzaki couldn’t comprehend it. But Misumi is the exception, he can do what he wants because he has enough status and power and doesn’t fear losing it. Misumi was also the one who made Yashiro a target by behaving freely like this. Hirata, as an almost deadly enemy, and Ryuuzaki, as an incompetent ally, parallel each other quite interestingly in how they see Yashiro.

Hirata: “When the boss made you his lover, I only considered you as his woman. Nothing more. Then he made you wakagashira, and now a boss of the Doushinkai?!!”

The real issue here isn’t the open disgust towards sex between men, but the disregard for the rules. You can’t gain position through sleeping with the boss, you can’t maintain the status of “man” if you “take it in the ass”, if you submit or take the “woman role”. The woman role comes with the renounce of power and status within the organization, after all women in this world are perceived as accessories or commodities, nothing more. They can’t certainly occupy a position that has been promised to a man. Hirata’s hatred isn’t wholly ascribed to his homophobia, it’s rather the manifestation of his expectation that institutional power structures cannot and should not be challenged. He hated Kurobane as well, just because he really meant his loyalty, while accusing Yashiro of being low and disloyal, contradicting himself. At the end, Hirata couldn’t tolerate to be considered inferior to anyone else, being it a reputable man or a “faggot”.

I really liked a little detail about the confrontation between Doumeki and Hirata: when the young bodyguard makes his appearance, Hirata has no idea who he is. Circumstances like Doumeki being away to talk with his sister, when Hirata visited the office, or him being at Kageyama’s clinic while Hirata visited Yashiro at the hospital made it so they hadn’t met or interacted before that crucial moment. For most of the first part of the story, Doumeki was mostly unaware of the precarious situation that Yashiro was in. In part because of Yashiro’s tendency of protecting his subordinates and his inability to ask for help, no one really understood the extent of his precautions: the non-antagonistic response to the various provocations from members of the Matsubara’s group, with disregard for his own non-existent honor, the ties and underhand exchanges of favors with the police, the careful handling of the relationship with Misumi, and the anxiety about it, Yashiro had a lot to think about. Doumeki instead was mostly preoccupied with maintaining his position at his side and being unable to restrain and avoid acting on his feelings, losing sight of the entire situation for a while before finally relentlessly chasing after Yashiro and being there when it mattered most.

So while I have observed that at the beginning of the manga Doumeki possessed a certain amount of maturity, and wasn’t completely naive, when it came to dealing with strong emotions and complex situations he was completely swayed and absorbed by his own feelings, struggling to understand the best way to really be at Yashiro’s side, if that was his most important role. For example, when he got carried away and he beat Inami, he created a new problem Yashiro had to solve later, as Inami was willing to falsely implicate Yashiro in the killings of several Gouda group members, in retaliation. Yashiro reached a deal with Inami, that involved in part a lot of money, but probably some other promise in addition - and this could be in part the reason why he made uncomfortable compromises with the detective. Doumeki didn’t show any finesse in dealing with the actual complex issues of being in the yakuza and he didn’t seem worried enough about the importance of appearances and the conduct that is expected from the members of a group.

In a previous analysis, I underlined how Yashiro was struggling with the idea of being able to live in the same world Doumeki grew up in and was still tied to: a world of idealistic expectations about love and same sex relationships, of people that have some sort of security built internally to fall back on and are willing to take chances. At the end of volume 6 we see Doumeki assessing the events that brought him to the rooftop of the hospital and that brought Yashiro to tell the lie about not remembering him. When he gets up, the last image we have of him before the time skip is Doumeki entering a black space: the visualization of the decision he made to respect Yashiro’s wishes and maintain distance, but at the same time entering Yashiro’s world and committing fully to be part of it. If Yashiro can’t live in the world Doumeki knew, Doumeki will learn to live in Yashiro’s. Starting with being a yakuza. How wise that decision will be, how that decision worked out is yet to be seen.

[kushanna]

what are all the kushana and nausicaä parallels you think about?

so glad you asked. (also i'm going to assume you're talking about the manga)

what i usually begin by thinking about is something i saw on a random comment online one time, that the two of them gradually become more like one another as the story progresses. it's as if they develop in opposite directions, so that by the end they have approached what it feels like to be the other. which is good for kushana cause at the end she's in a much better place within herself than she was at the start, or at least she makes an effort to be, there's much more hope and love in the way she views and interacts with the world after meeting nausicaä, or maybe it's better to say that that love is now being channeled into a more positive direction, that it shows itself more and in a less destructive way. but it's not as good for nausicaä cause now she's seen and experienced and learned a whole lot of unpleasant things about the world, some of them the very unpleasant things that have always been a part of kushana's life, she's learned about other people too and became more compassionate, but all of that takes a toll on you. we see kushana act more affectionate and find sorrow in herself as the story progresses and, on the the other hand, we see nausicaä be more conscious of the anger and violence in her. while also feeling a lot of sorrow.

i think a lot about the environment they were raised in, cause i think that makes a huge difference in determining the differences and similarities between them. they were both sheltered, in a sense, since they were born and raised princesses, which is not a comparable background to someone like kurotowa's, for example, but there's a difference in their backgrounds as well. nausicaä was surrounded by kindness from other people all her life (i'll get to her mother in a minute), as much as she was being raised to succeed her father, learning how to sword fight, etc, the valley is very directly presented as a peaceful place, something that feels more like a large community at times than an actual full-blown monarchy. which is very different from the environment kushana was raised in, there was a lot of violence and hostility from an early age, she was very hurt from an early age and by people close to her, and the training she received was military, which in itself puts you in a very aggressive... worldview, if that makes sense. when kushana says that nausicaä is walking the path "she has chosen as she sees fit", nausicaä has chosen a path because she can choose it, because she gets to choose it, because it's "easy" for her too choose it. kushana can choose as well and she does so, but it takes a lot more effort and will and a lot more opening yourself up to it, which puts you in a very vulnerable position. which is something nausicaä naturally is, vulnerable.

i think what i want to say here is that, yes, they are very similar people and, given the right conditions, kushana has the same potential and is just as capable of goodness and kindness as nausicaä, and nausicaä is just as capable of being led by anger as kushana. there's that scene in early volume 5 where kushana says to master yupa that, during the insect attack in volume 4, she "found herself" doing exactly what nausicaä had taught, she "became aware" that she was singing, and then immediately afterwards says she would never try to "emulate" nausicaä like that again. this is so funny and sad to me cause i've always seen kushana as someone who acts very consciously, in the sense that she's always in full awareness of what she's doing, very self-aware and also just aware of things and the world in general. so on the one time she was not in full awareness of it, the one time she was not thinking about her actions, when she was acting mostly based on intuition, she behaved in a way that perfectly approached nausicaä. sweetheart... you are not "emulating" anything, this is who are you are. these are very telling scenes for me. i think the opposite example can be made for nausicaä early in the story, when she killed one of the torumekian soldiers and was immediately shocked at her own behavior, like she hadn't been in full awareness of herself in that moment of violence. (note that i am not saying that how they act unconsciously reveals the only truth about their character, since choosing to act a certain way is also very telling of who you are as a person, after all. what i'm saying is the unconscious acts do show different facets of them, facets that parallel one another).

there's also the stuff with their mothers, i made a post about it some time ago, i'm gonna just link it there cause otherwise i would have to copy and paste the whole thing here. basically, it feels like it's the same issue to me, but in opposite ways, in reverse. ironically, kushana being so loved by her mother and nausicaä not feeling loved, and then all the tragedy and grief and sorrow that came with it, which is so similar while being so different. there's other stuff as well, something about how they both end up being seen and looked up to as these "leaders", these people who will be necessary and valuable for the "new era" that's expected to come. i saw a comment once (i don't remember where) about how even if they're both seen as "leaders", nausicaä is actually more a guider. kushana would be the one with the actual leadership role, while nausicaä guides people, she gently steers them in the right direction, which i think is something nice to think about. and that leads me to another sort of parallel, which is how they both renounce their expected positions as new kings of their respective kingdoms. it lines up with the leader/guider thing, since kushana, while able to renounce the position of king, still takes on a leadership role. nausicaä doesn't, though, she's just there to gently guide people. they're both also very self-destructive. if i want to frame it in a nicer way i can say they're willing to sacrifice themselves for higher ideals and purposes, but it's borderline suicidal at times. which is something i feel like, with kushana, is sometimes very associated with a lack of self-worth, though i don't notice this with nausicaä.

i think i went on huge tangents and i miiiiiight have forgotten something important but i hope that's somewhat what you were expecting ^_^

[darcytaylor]

It is tiring, is it not, trying to be a voice of reason in a fandom hell-bent on indulging in anything but? I admire your conviction and constancy, you're a stronger soldier than I.

Day after day I log in, finding very little in the fandom that interests me. I deleted my original blog because I was getting hate in my inbox on one hand and getting blocked by certain accounts then getting shit-talked by them on the other and people telling me about it. I don't need something like that in my life, especially not about something as inconsequential as a bloody TV show. Now I just mostly observe and occasionally slide into the ask box of people like you.

I think it's important to realize that at its core, this isn't about the show or Nic or Luke at all, it's about people meeting emotional needs by latching onto a piece of comfort media. A lot of the more extreme accounts in the fandom seem to be run by people with substantial trauma who are just trying to cope with the realities of life by rejecting them. It's unfortunate that they're taking it out on real people who just happen to be actors, but my hope is that the outlandishness of the claims makes it very easy for Nic and Luke to dismiss them outright and protect their peace.

I've been protecting my peace as well by not engaging. It just... It doesn't matter that much, none of this does. It's just entertainment. One day, people will delete their blogs, Tumblr will cease to exist, and so will the Universe, eventually. Not to get all existential on you lol, but everything that's ever been created and will ever be created will fade into irreversible nothingness. Do we really want to spend the limited time we have on Earth having bad experiences, especially unnecessary ones? The answer for me is no. But if other people are choosing this distress, it's not for me to tell them not to. It is their job to protect their own peace, if they so wish. And if they don't - well, it's their life to waste.

Appreciate you and hope we get more good career news from Nic and Luke soon! Have a good one.

Well, this is a thoughtful and introspective ask. Thank you for taking the time to share this, and for your kind words. It can definitely feel exhausting sometimes, trying to keep a level head in a space that can be so volatile and toxic. (I wouldn’t call myself the voice of reason - I’m just a human trying to be a positive presence online). But messages like yours remind me why I try - because there are people out there quietly observing, navigating the chaos in their own way, and some who may find some value in what I share.

I completely understand your decision to step back and protect your peace. That’s a smart move, and honestly, a much healthier one in a lot of ways. I’m sorry you had to deal with hate and gossip - it’s so disheartening how a space meant to bring joy can spiral into something so toxic. Like I’ve said before, if you don’t like a take you come across that isn't hurting anybody, there’s no need to respond in a hateful way (I do it all of the time!). People don’t need to belittle others for thinking differently. That doesn’t create an environment where everyone can actually enjoy themselves, learn, or connect. Instead, it just breeds hostility and defensiveness. And when people feel attacked, they’re less likely to engage in meaningful ways and more likely to retaliate. It’s just a vicious cycle of negativity, and no one wins in the end.

You bring up a good point about fandoms being a way for people to meet emotional needs (I mean I guess that's one of the reasons why I'm here). It’s such a bittersweet thing. On one hand, fandoms can be this amazing space for creativity and connection, but it can also turn into an unhealthy escape for some. Like you said, when this need for comfort becomes fixated on, it can lead to harmful projections - where the lines between fantasy and reality blur, and the people involved, like Nicola and Luke, are treated as though they’re part of that escape, instead of being real individuals.

I'm sure that Nicola and Luke are able to dismiss the more extreme stuff. I imagine that as public figures, they’ve probably had the opportunity to get some training or support to help them deal with everything that comes with fame - whether it’s media training, social media strategies, or just leaning on the people around them. They should hopefully have the tools they need to manage.

It’s a bit of a comfort to think that the more outlandish claims might be easier for them to brush off though, but it’s still a shame that they even have to deal with it in the first place. It’s a good reminder for all of us to try to approach spaces like this with more care and awareness.

Your existential perspective makes sense, none of this will matter in the grand scheme of things. What does matter is how we spend our time and the experiences we choose to let into our lives.

Thank you for your kind words and for this reminder about the bigger picture. Take care of yourself, and know that your choice to protect your peace is something to be admired.

Bring on more good news from Nicola, Luke and the rest of the Bridgerton cast! ❤️

[waywardsou2]

AI-less Whumptober 2024

I'm doing @ailesswhumptober's whumplist

Characters used: Peter "Spider-Man" Parker, Doctor Otto Octavius, James "Bucky" Barnes, Steven "Captain America" Rogers

Day 1: public torture/public use, stress position, “If you cry, we’ll go easy on you.”

Day 2: Unfortunate fall, car accident, “Don’t move. You’ll be okay.”

Day 3: Shared trauma, survivor’s guilt, “It’s not your fault.”

Day 4: Painful transformation, non-consensual body modifications, “You’re a monster.”

Day 5: Overstimulation, migraines, “I can’t take this anymore.”

Day 6: Multiple whumpees, self sacrifice, “I’m the only one who can do this.”

Day 7: Field medicine, running out of supplies, “Hold on, we’re going to have to improvise.”

Day 8: Rope burns, gagged, “You’re so much prettier this way.”

Day 9: Hypothermia, heatstroke, “You look pretty pale.”

Day 10: Self worth issues, pushing away a loved one, “You don't need to earn this.”

Day 11: Hallucinations, truth serum, “Why would you even say that?”

Day 12: Isolation, sensory deprivation, “Can you feel me? I’m right here, whumpee.”

Day 13: Whumpee using themself as bait, defiance, “Take me instead.”

Day 14: Seizures, concussion, “See if you can follow my finger with your eyes.”

Day 15: Waterboarding, removing body parts, “Don’t break down on me yet.”

Day 16: Drowning, hostile environment, “I don’t know how anybody could survive that.”

Day 17: Abandonment, misunderstanding, “Why did I even think you cared?”

Day 18: Mind control, possession, “Everybody will end up despising you.”

Day 19: Disassociation, losing a sense, “I wish I could get you back.”

Day 20: Enemy/Stranger to caretaker, accidental de-aging, “I’m absolutely not qualified for this shit.”

Day 21: Drugged, ambulance ride, “This will make you feel better, okay?”

Day 22: Forced (to kneel/watch/hurt somebody else), whipped, “Do not look away.”

Day 23: Fever, passing out, “Hey?! Stay with me, okay?!”

Day 24: Deconditioning, relapse, “It’s normal that you need more time.”

Day 25: Humiliation, betrayal, “How could you?!”

Day 26: Electrocution, burning, “This is going to sting.”

Day 27: Before vs after, Alternate universe, “Well, there’s a first for everything.”

Day 28: Internal bleeding, needles and stitches, “I didn’t think the wound was that bad…”

Day 29: Ownership, branding, “Everybody will know that you’re mine.”

Day 30: Poison, delirium, “You’re not making sense.”

Day 31: Panic attack, facing a phobia, “You need to get out of here!”

[electricbathsalt]

HELLO HI YOU MENTIONED CHISAKI HAVING A COMPLEX RELATIONSHIP WITH HUMANITY AND I AM HERE TO HAPPY RANT ABOUT IT

it's like 2:30am and i should have gone to bed a while ago so this is gonna be a lil incoherent probably but anyways. yes. 100% yes i love that. i have so many ideas bouncing around my head about chisaki not being human, or like getting some secondary quirk in a secondary quirk wave that *makes* him (in his eyes) less than/not quite human, and also i sometimes use it/its pronouns for him because Reasons (i am projecting my own use of it/its onto him), and I also headcanon him as a) FtMtX (third gender/maverique), b) aroallo and gay and romance-repulsed, and c) autistic + low emotional empathy, and all of those things would 100% play into having a complicated and not-entirely-positive relationship with humanity in general (and his own humanity!) ESPECIALLY given that he spent formative years in the yakuza, which is bound to be a wildly conservative organization and an environment EXTREMELY hostile to several of those core immutable traits. ykno?

anyways you mentioned him having a complex relationship to other people/humans and humanity in general like he doesn't consider himself one so that's what prompted this. also please rant back i want to hear e v e r y t h i n g

Oh my god oh my god YES!! Okay I actually just woke up (yes my sleep schedule is fucked rn) so this is most definitely not gonna be coherent either buuut bro that is SO SIMILAR TO EXACTLY WHAT I WAS THINKINGGG

Okay this is by far the most difficult topic for me to try to articulate/explain bc I don’t really know how to, but I will try my damndest!! Yes. I think Chisaki has a very, very complicated relationship with both his own humanity and humanity as whole, in the way that he like. Does not view himself as human, and does not think of humans as the same as him, because they are on, like, separate playing fields. It’s not that he necessarily thinks of everyone else as worthless, or that he’s above them inherently (unequal)—he believes himself to be in a sort of limbo. He is neither worthless nor worthy. He is not human, therefore he cannot adhere to the same principles and standards of humanity. He is not human, and that is why he is never treated like one.

I think he subconsciously detached himself from it. He hated how the one person he (subconsciously) thought would one day view him as human and accept him, called him a monster and outcast him, like everyone else. The one person who showed him kindness with no catch (in his mind, because… yikes). That’s when he fully accepted that he’ll never be seen as human, that he is not human, and will never be treated like something with value/emotion, like something mortal and thinking and multi-dimensional, which is why he finally decided to just take matters into his own hands, with no regard to anything else. Why follow the morals of humans if he is not one? You don’t expect a wild animal not to maul you. Because for an animal, it is necessary. There’s no malice. They hunt and kill you because they need to eat and feed and protect. Is that not him? Is he not doing all this out of necessity? To keep himself and his family alive?

(Although, he doesn’t perceive himself as an animal. Just as not human). He believes he can’t be human. He believes he can no longer allow himself to be human anyway, because being human is too large an obstacle to his goals. He has to be a monster.

And kinda on the side of how he perceives other humans—it’s like, he’s more vital than them to the plan (which is the most important thing in the world), so he is above them in the way they are pawns whereas the plan cannot happen without him and Eri. But it’s dependent on his quirk, bc without his quirk, he is no longer Overhaul, who is the one who is vital to the plan; he is just Chisaki Kai. Chisaki Kai was not vital to anything and was just some not-really-human with a debt to pay off. Chisaki Kai is not worthwhile. Chisaki Kai is below other, real humans. So it’s split—Overhaul is above everyone else (in importance, in the fact he is not human. He is a monster). Chisaki Kai is below everyone else (he is indebted and clinging to the dregs of humanity he wants to have). The common ground is that both Overhaul and Chisaki Kai are inhuman accessories to the Shie Hassaikai. The Shie Hassaikai is more important than them.

He does not yearn to be human, he yearns for the casual acceptance and belonging that comes alongside being human. Humans have never treated him like how they treat other humans. He is not human.

Uggfhhhh I can’t tell if I’m explaining this exactly how I mean it. My vocabulary is just lacking I fear 😭 I have trouble streamlining my thoughts a lot. I feel like I have more to say but no way to properly express it, I guess. Also all your headcanons are extremely real and definitely add onto this/play a part in it!! I cannot imagine that the Yakuza would be all that accepting/an at all safe environment (ah. Well. That’s not true bc I have lol. I don’t like making sad stories 💀 but in canon… definitely not. Especially with Pops’ apparent falling-out with his daughter over her marriage 😒).

I don’t know if this all is what you had in mind or not but I think it has at least some semblance to what I think some of his mindsets are. My brain is a lil fried though. Also please please please elaborate. On everything. I wanna hear all your takes

[usafphantom2]

The astro-inertial navigation system (ANS) of the SR-71 Blackbird was a remarkable feat of engineering that allowed the aircraft to navigate with unprecedented precision and accuracy, even over long distances and in challenging conditions. The system's ability to track stars through a quartz glass window, even in daylight, was a key factor in its success.

Here's how the ANS worked:

1Primary Alignment: Before takeoff, the ANS's gyroscopes were carefully aligned with the Earth's magnetic field. This initial alignment was crucial for ensuring the accuracy of the system's position calculations.

2Star Tracking: Once airborne, the ANS would track stars through a circular quartz glass window located on the upper fuselage. The star tracker used a photomultiplier tube to detect the light from stars, and its computer system would then identify the stars based on their positions and brightness.

3Position Calculation: Using the positions of the tracked stars, the ANS's computer would calculate the aircraft's position relative to a known reference point. This position information was then updated continuously throughout the flight.

4Navigation Guidance: The ANS could provide the pilot with navigation guidance, including the aircraft's current position, heading, and course. This information was crucial for maintaining accurate flight paths and reaching designated targets.

5Daytime Star Tracking: The ANS's "blue light" source star tracker was a unique feature that allowed the system to track stars even in daylight. This was achieved by using a special filter that selectively passed only blue light, which is scattered less by the atmosphere than other wavelengths.

6Redundancy: The ANS was designed with redundancy in mind, incorporating multiple gyroscopes and star trackers to ensure continuous operation even if one component failed.

The ANS played a critical role in the SR-71's success, enabling it to perform reconnaissance missions over vast distances and in hostile environments. The system's combination of precision, reliability, and all-weather capability made it a revolutionary technology in its time.

@Habubrats71 via X

[velvetvexations]

Hi Velvet! Would like to open this ask with a bit of positivity-- I've been having it rough lately, both in the general life department and my personal issues department, and scrolling your blog really helps calm me down and relax <3 I wish good things upon you, your loved ones, and the community you've built here. I'm really sorry for dumping this super long ask into your inbox, but I'm not sure who else would engage with what I have to say here. And on that note, I'm also extremely grateful to you.

I've been thinking a lot lately on all the "tme privilege" discourse that's pretty much overrun this site and wanted to throw in my two cents to the conversation as a bigender person (male + female). Full disclosure that I'm an AFAB perisex individual, and do not identify with the transmasc nor the transfem label. I haven't personally made any original posts on the topic myself, but I'd like to believe I generally have a grasp on where everyone is coming from.

In the broadest sense, I think holding these kinds of charged discussions during a period in which society is experiencing a collective moral panic over trans people has put a lot of us on edge. It's caused us as a community to forget the base truth that ultimately we are trying to navigate our very personal traumas through these discourses, and our priority has shifted from proactively extending compassion and sympathy to each other to defensively antagonizing and segregating ourselves out of hypervigilance. The natural consequence of such hypervigilance on social media platforms is the creation of an environment where opinions and perspectives are constantly being policed. So to a certain extent, I'd posit that the argument is not so much a direct trans intracommunity issue as it is a online socialization phenomena that intersects with trans digital spaces and our current political climate. As a lot of older trans people (by which I mean 30+) have observed, this is a fairly recent trend in trans discourse, and conversation was typically much more open and less hostile even a decade ago.

In the more specific, rhetorical sense, I can't make heads or tails of the logical throughline in any of the most radical arguments. It is just the case that sometimes lived experiences will contradict each other, and sometimes the things that have shaped one person's suffering will have shaped others' in similar but also very different ways-- it's frustrating that no one seems to understand this. Watering down the nuances of reality to these very clear-cut definitions of what makes up specific types of people's experiences is just strange to me. I am supposed to believe I would be TME despite identifying as a woman who also seeks gender-affirming care that would masculinize her bottom parts. I would love to hear what exactly would distinguish me from the specter of the degenerate trans woman in the eyes of society if I start walking around with a cock and boobs at the same time while calling myself a woman and a man simultaneously. I certainly would no longer be treated as a member of the social class of women, and I most definitely would be excluded from the social class of men. And yet by all means this is supposed to fall under the umbrella of transmasc experiences, despite me not claiming transmasculinity in any way shape or form. If I have physically transitioned and I am a woman, and then experience transphobia in ways that interface with my womanhood, how can that not be called transmisogyny? Then do I call myself TMA? But I was born with the sex designation of female! I was socialized as a girl and wouldn't possibly be able to grasp the depth of the trauma that real trans woman go through… It just goes around in circles. This is also honestly why I find myself identifying much more with intersex individuals than I do with binary trans individuals in general but, man, these circlejerks sure do jerk those circles.

I'm always happy to give people a space to talk about things. There's way, way too much hostility going on between people who should be working together. It's always important work to push back against that and to not swallow what you're told you have to accept as reality. You're doing really good at that.