#here u go cas xoxo

[nevarroes]

hello not really sure how to start this but i just wanted to say that ur so so so talented like i know that seems sooo lackluster to say and just kinda a cookie cutter compliment but truly i stare at ur art for HOURSSS 😔 ill genuinely go “hm i need to go look at blake nevarroes art” & will just scroll on here or on twitter and just stare 👁️ its so truly pleasing to look at (putting my love for gort and cas aside 😛) like the way u render & the poses & the colors and just everything man idk how to even compose this in a way that’ll express it 😭 u dont have to respond to this or anything like that i just saw that u were in a funk & that u werent as proud of the most recent comic u put out (which i want to chew on like polly pocket clothes btw its scrumptious) & wanted to share my appreciation, as an artist myself 🥸 well more writer than artist but U get what i mean. just know i would frame every single piece of work u have done in gold antique frames & cover the walls of my room with them ur art style is one of my favorites ive ever come across 🩷 xoxo keep doing fantastic work & take care of urself <3

I left this a little bit to reread it again bc whuh.... thank you so much for taking the time to write this out 4 me what the hell this is so sweet🥺 made me soft to read honestly just thank u, it means a lot to me💗💗

[dreadedbayle]

Lisa Sherwood, The Hag. Serpent Queen Skin + Prestige claws.

Twisted and torn in unspeakable ways, with greyish dead skin stretched out over her emaciated body. Her arm is a horrid overgrown deformity capable of slashing through both flesh and bone alike.

[thetruthpdf]

seanrinaldi → thetruthpdf

about me + directory under the cut

ABOUT ME

zoë / 26 / she/her

cas coded deangirl

pisces sun / capricorn moon / leo ascendant

enfp / 2w3

california

biracial (chinese/white)

str8

art history + museum education

active in the fandom back in 2013-early 2016, resurrected by nov 5th but not going anywhere, i’m having an absolute blast xoxo

mutuals! my peach is @/froggychair and my discord is zoë#6864! just shoot me a dm before you add me so i know who you are 💕

face tag / zoëcore tag / about me tag

BLOG INFO + BEFORE YOU FOLLOW

prev urls: seraphlm, sexynursejess, thetruthpdf, jinglebela, sarahblakes, garliic, seanrinaldi

spn + deancas blog but i also post a lot of art/photography/poetry/etc bc that is simply who i am

purveyor of edits including elements of lightleaks/funky lighting, spn women, chiaroscuro, or some combination of the three (please reblog and credit if you use an edit as a header/icon, do not repost) — #spnedit #destieledit #wwditsedit #nandermoedit

i’m also a kitchen enthusiast

minors may follow but please blacklist #minors dni and #nsfw

w*ncest shippers get lost <3

wwdits blog is @nanddor

inbox and DMs are open 💌 here is a tangerine 🍊 love u

[autisticandroids]

bro, u and ur anons keep talking about cas being "complicit" in his abuse by being too afraid and beaten down to even slightly disagree with dean, and how he just needs to start standing up for himself?

and while its true that cas pushing dean around even a little bit would fix a lot of their relationship problems, phrasing it that way just seems... idk... supremely victim blame-y to me. like, the responsibility is somehow on cas to sort through his own trauma enough to gain an unbiased view of the situation, while he is still actively in the abusive situation that caused that very same trauma in the first place, and then risk (in his mind) the only meaningful relationship he has left by pushing dean away enough to set boundaries? as opposed to it being dean's responsibility not to treat people like disobedient pets? dean of course has his own issues that make it hard for him to see things clearly, to put it mildly, but cmon, these are not even remotely the same caliber lol.

furthermore, i know having someone else come along and say "he doesn't love u! he wouldnt mourn u if u died! dump him!" helps a lot of ppl wake up to abuse, but in cas's case, my gut instinct says that would make it a thousand times worse?? bc, on some level, cas already believes that, and that's part of the problem??? obviously the whole suicide fantasy thing can be damaging to fans, but even if cas himself has that fantasy, i doubt he genuinely thinks that's what's going to happen when he dies. im sure he WANTS dean to mourn him like a widow, but he fully expects dean to move on and even be happier (in the long run) once cas is gone, which is part of why he’s sacrificing himself in the first place.

it's shitty of the showrunners to craft this narrative in the first place, but i dont think it is inherently worse for the fantasy to be fulfilled than not... either way, it's rewarding/justifying cas's decision, unless cas stays dead AND dean is miserable, and they really lean into it being a Tragic Ending. even fics that try to avoid this problem often just make things worse bc ive seen multiple fics that bring cas back just to have dean punish him further, with no self-awareness on dean's part. like, the man is so miserable with guilt and loneliness and hopelessness that he kills himself, and u (dean/fanfic authors, not mx. androids) think the appropriate way to respond to that is to make him feel guilty and selfish and weak for turning to suicide??? wtf??? truly NO ONE wins in the game of supernatural

anyway im genuinely not trying to do a callout post here or anything, im positive none of yall meant it in that way, i just wanna know more about ur perspective on this. no pressure to respond if u dont want tho. (also i know im talking abt fictional boys like theyre real ppl with thoughts and feelings but this show simply isnt interesting to me otherwise, love & light xoxo)

i have never referred to cas as complicit in his own abuse. i have referred to him as complicit in dean's abuse of jack, as well as potentially complicit in dean's abuse of sam. he's also complicit in a bunch of other terrible things dean has done to other people or induced him to do to other people.

i have discussed the way that cas gets used to being abused and makes a home there, to the extent that even when he has opportunities to improve his situation he stays in his little corner because he really doesn't understand how to get out (not has he ever experienced anything really all that different) but while that's his choice it's not really his fault in the same way. it's tragic, he isn't to blame.

re: the suicide thing i was mostly being snarky and pissed off, throwing spaghetti at the wall. you are right, there is no good answer. no one wins supernatural.

[tf2icons]

Ok besties I need one or yalls to content aware scale random merc faces (preferred 2 b scout or sniper or engie but just go wild honestly) and have the funniest ones be icons i think it'd be rlly great and amazing of u xoxo love anon 🤪🤪🤪

Hey anon, unfortunately none of the mods use photoshop so we're unable to rescale with CAS, but as an apology here's some low-ish quality mercs + Pauling.

- Mod Scout

[thegeminisage]

ohhhh please feed us ur bullet point form repressed bisexual dean headcanons. this isn't based off anything u said in particular i just need headcanons for my soul, u get me?

i am going to be sneaky and instead of giving u a bullet point list i am just going to explain my passions. when i was writing my homophobic 15.18 fix-it (which is just applied headcanons really) i was doing so with the perspective that the only way to shake some sense out of that bizarre scene, which we now know was weird because they hacked it into pieces, was to come at it from the angle of dean being repressed (and cas being ace but i always think cas is ace). 

the best repressed dean fic i ever read or ever will read probably is like moses and batman and james dean by saltyfeathers and it is formative in the way i think about dean. in that fic dean is okay with the physical aspect of being w/ cas but he struggles with emotional intimacy. i thought it would be interesting to flip that and have dean be less concerned about being emotionally close to cas (since in seasons 13-15 they are already very very close) and be more concerned about the physical aspect of it. 

this accomplishes 2 things:

i can write a version of dean i haven’t seen before or at least not very often. i really don’t like to do fanfic about topics other people have covered already, especially when those topics have been covered well and in a way that satisfies me. feels pointless. this felt a little like something that could sort of just be mine

dean dealing w/ sex repulsion of men specifically bc of previous experiences actually makes him a really good match for a cas who is ace and could not give two shits one way or the other whether or not they get busy. all he’s LOOKING for is emotional closeness. he could take or leave the rest. i also think it’s a nice little subversion bc normally u only find aspec characters dealing w/ sex repulsion, but dean isn’t aspec and now he’s dealing w/ it anyway

obviously it isn’t just the sex repulsion, he’s got a lifetime of homophobia/internalized homophobia behind him, but i personally think dean gets less homophobic the longer the show runs - he still won’t tolerate any of that gay shit being aimed at him, but he doesn’t really have a problem with other people being gay anymore. so between that and again being...really close with cas, i like to imagine that in LATE LATE season spn, his biggest hurdle is the physical stuff. which again makes ace cas perfect <3 xoxo

anyway, i wrote about dean and homophobia in the 15.18 fic, and i’m sort of tackling dean and sex repulsion in the john-comes-back fic that i’m writing (not as a main topic, but as a side plot). i have a little excerpt of some of it right here. and that’s my passions about repressed dean, ty for coming to my ted talk

[yooniesim]

Okay. This is a lot to answer for the Sims 2/3/4 Ask but here we go: 2, 3, 5, 9, 10, 19, 24, 31, and 36. I love you, ceci!!! xoxo!

omfg sara pls XD XD XD i love u too haha so let me jump right in

2. Favorite piece of cc? Why?

omg this has to be the hardest question on earth!!! i have to choose at least a couple help

this eyeshadow bc i love GLITTER

the pants in this pack like they’re so good and baggy i love them

this blush i use all the heccin time

this nose ring is an old fav

keish’s eyes bc i am a slut for them tbh

3. Must have mods?

default skin & eyes, MCCC, ui cheats extension, stand still in CAS, height slider

5. Why did you join simblr?

answered this one here! yey

9. A simblr crush?

obv u sara duh…. 👀 ok i won’t be cheesy hehe. i don’t think i have a crush, my heart is actually black, the pastel is a cover XD

10. Five of your favorite sims of other people’s?

answered this here uwu but i might as well do some more!

@finnchios‘ pakpao

@lotusplum‘s speedy and chanwoo

@satinable‘s dallas is pretty freaking cuuute (and bitna of course)

@simgguk‘s nova i love and cherish this boy

@nucrests‘ kimber i mean have u seen her omg my love

19. Which EP/SP packs do you own? Your favorite?

i have every except moschino! my favorite, hmm… i love seasons, university, laundry, and i’m excited for knitting lol.

24. Do you think there will be a Sims 5 anytime soon? What do you expect from it?

i don’t know about SOON but it is inevitable, ea gotta make that $$$ lol. i don’t have expectations but i’m hoping for more gameplay content and hobbies like in sims 2. 

31. Favorite CC Creator/s?

ANOTHER HARD QUESTION jakhdhf. ok. let’s see.

@liliili-sims

@clumsyalienn

@sulsulhun

@bedisfull

@mmsims

@crypticsim

@ravasheencc

@simandy

@aroundthesims

@carolforest

@lina-cherie

@gorillax3

@casteru

@trillyke

@stephanine-sims

you, @simgguk and @nucrests… did i even have to say this,,, i’m whipped hello

36. Do you dislike any of your sims? Why?

yoongi bc he’s trash. ok jk jk. i actually love all my sims uwu

sims 2, 3, 4 asks! 

[charmed-asylum]

👨‍🍳# FOODIE👨‍🍳

#Foodie, Part 2

Summary: Something happening in Easter Hills. Something that effecting everyone under the surface. Could this just be a phase a trick that no one can shack off? Is this something that will pass with another or can we all be heading for destruction

Declaimer: #Foodie has some curse words, blood, making out, and maybe a dead body or 2??. Also, I do have dyslexia who happens to do her own proof reading so be easy with me!!!

A/N:So who would think after doing a love story I go be switching it up to some sci-fi. Let me know what you think or want to be added to the taglist. Or simple to sit my butt down and stop with the dramatics xoxo Tia

MASTER LIST // Previous Chapter (1) 

Tagged: @weapinggwillowss​ @kittykatlow​ @alagalaska @deansblackbeauty

2 weeks later 

My fingers intertwined with his as he locks and kisses them. He doesn’t know I know but he a snuggle monster the reject monster from Sesame Street. Another secret I love it. We haven’t had much time as I will hope with one another. Even though he was back from the war he still was working as deputy while he was home. I pout like a two-year-old who got denied a brand new toy from a toy store. But we made it work. He moves me close as he whispers praise in my ear in his deep voice that makes me shiver a cool chill.

I only had 15 minutes left of my break with him. God how I miss him. After Janet left me teary-eyed in the abandoned hallway apart of me felt I was in old westerns like I was waiting for her around and draw her guy. That night he came over and hold me as I cried into his strong chest hands wrap as far as I could around his broad shoulders. Each night I founded my self there. Even if I was asleep he sneaks in and holds me. Letting me know he was never gonna leave me. 

He looks down into my eye out time coming to an end with a bit of sorrow regret. Hopping up so I can reach his face I pepper kiss him with each hop. Watching as his smile spread from ear to ear he loves when I did this be my silly tiny self. Knowing he always be my savior. His eyes were dark like midnight sky but were as bright as the sun. Others wouldn’t see this wouldn’t think he was more than a brick wall but he was more. Just like me more than meets the eye. Each day I’m happy god loves me to bring him to me. Bring me someone that made me feel things I never did before. 

“ I gotta go. I was only supposed to drop off another animal to you, baby “ He said in muffled from my lips. 

Lending back hold his hands close , “ Yeah but it was you who  wanted to start kissing me. I’m only here to basket it all this”.

This was been a familiar thing the last two weeks animals found dead somewhere or sick with some type of rabies. Blood from Mr. Fuzzy Bear only adds to the mystery. Blood work consists of an unfamiliar source. I went anymore I know and even the internet god the internet. After weeks of looking non stop trying to find anything to make me more at ease. NOTHING. I wanted to express this to KP but he only tells me to stop worrying.

“ BABY” KP tickle me under my underarms. I twitch and almost trip. “ I was talking and you did that moody thing you do. Is this Janet” he asked. YES NO I DONT KNOW I rub my forehead gently and peek up at him and nod.

I hate lying most importantly very bad at it. Even though he knew it was more he still allowed it to be, this time. 

“ I am taking you out. Show you off. Remind folks who you belong too. Which means I want you to be out this little head of yours. Janet she many things but all with reasoning. Give her time didn’t you say she nods at you other days” KP said. God his voice.

“ Your right probably PMS. Or something. Where we going” I asked looking down. I could hear my name-calling for me and some chaos.

“IAASC I KNOW HE SEXY EYE CANDY BUT GET YOUR ASS IN HERE-OW” Ethan scream out. I giggle and peck his cheek and ran off.

“ I CALL YOU ILY “ I shouted over my shoulder.

He ruffles his thick black hair across his hands as she smirks at me.

“ILY2” He said.

Everything was like walking into the war zone. Ethan was sitting on a chair holding her arm that was gushing blood out and Casey walking back and forth. I swipe up a rabies shot and quickly gave it to her and took her arms into my arms to looks at it. So much blood my arms got painted red. With a finger snap, Casey passes me the 1st aid kit as I dress the wound. Ethan was laughing all while. After thanking Casey ask sending her off for a break treating her like my child even though she was twice my age I gave the tickle me Ethan my attention.

“ You need to go to the hospital. That looks nothing like something seen before where the animal that did it” I asked looking around.

“ Killed it” She said like it was nothing. My eyebrow bent at this as I look her.

“ I need to call KP back he and sheriff can come over and help” I said pulling my phone out my pocket.

“Shit that fucker a bitch. I go okay I go I’m fine I go later. You did everything right by the way. It’s dead. We take it to the trash and that it” She said then look at me finally. I was a mess. To say the least. I bit the corner of my cheek till it bleeds and the iron the mint of him I was chewing on earlier.

Her eyes look glassy and she had a gentle sweat coming down her forehead. Didn’t it bit her not even a half-hour ago? I walk over and grab the bloody towels and help her up to sit down in her office under the AC. Closing the door I look hands it still had traces of her blood on it. I close my eyes and tried to relax. Taking deep breaths I went over to the sink and started to scrum till my hands were bright red from the friction.

“ Is she alright? “ Casey asks poking her head into the exam room. I peak over and back at my hands.

“ Yeah, she huh. Resting. Hey, what even happen that was so like the strange right” I said adding extra words to sound like I wasn’t just obsessing over it.

Casey pulled out a cigarette from her pocket and pluck it in her mouth getting ready to share something.

“ While you were outside smacking lips with Mr fuck for brains and takeout outside” she stops and looks at me.

“ I was upfront talking to Rachel about our lasted book club meeting. And she was talking about this new craze when one of the animals that came in just bounced up to life and start making sounds hissing and shit. Went sideways. The animal was acting all crazy like Bob does when he drank that moonshine and whiskey during October fair of 2003. Anyway, I rushed back and she was swinging at it with a paperweight” she said raking in another inhale of her cigarette. With a few coughs and tap, she looks around before talking some more.

“ You know a lot of shit been happening around here. I have been here all my life sadly and I would know. You know what it is huh?” She said putting her cigarette out with the bottom of her shoe. “ Damn Liberals. Probably put some damn glitter dusk on shit and made folks all crazy “She said as if it was a known fact. Did I not mention she a bit of a blowup doll racist. Try to explain to her just because I look Spanish doesn’t mean I am. Now she always says Ho Lay. Like that means something more than being a bitch. But she Casey and there no one like her.

“ You never know. So where is it now the animal ” I said drying my hands?

“ Out in the front. Sucker ugly mug tosses a blanket over it” Casey said nodding to the front. I nod and look around trying to let everything sit. Before she could walk off I without even thinking grab tight to her arm and pulled her into a hug. My hand ran up and down as I hold her tight.

“ Stay safe. Cas” I said. She chuckled and pat my back before going. I don’t know why I did it. Maybe a part of me knew something was gonna happen. That I was about to head down a steep drop something I will never be able to recover from.

The animal or what was left of it was like Casey said a mess. Scattered with its brains and head mushed. I poke it a few times before taking my pocket knife and stabbing it in the brain just in case. I wasn’t trying to live my life in a horror film. When I took the knife back out there was a strange goo mix with the blood. What the fuck I whisper to myself as I knee down and got closer to look. Just like I thought it was just like Mr. Fuzzy Bear. This was not a dog and this in on ways was a house pet. How strange how can two things so far from one another by going through the same thing. Can it be a generic trait from mammals? Or animals?

Ethan was quiet for the rest of the night. She didn’t move out of her office and when she did she was still sweating and shivering. I knew I promise KP not to worry but I couldn’t.

Me: Promise not to laugh but I have a question

Mi Amore: Haha what up sweetie

Me: Have there been any strange animal behavior or attacks? I know I’m coo-coo 😛😛

Mi Amore: 🤔 idk. Yeah, old man, Nick has been coming about some behavior. But that’s about it. Ur not crazy just crazy beautiful. Y??

Me: Remember when I was called in. Ethan got bite by a stray animal. Just wondering. I miss U  💋 💋 💋 

Mi Amore: Never stop. If you promise to stop worrying I keep an eye on it. And stop by to check out on Ethan tonight or tomorrow. Alright babe

Me: Kk thnx KP 

Mi Amore: ILY let me know when you get home

Me: ILY2  😘

Old man Nick was crazy still believing that aliens were never in Roswell but here. But his word is not so reliable he is married to his chicken Cheryl. I paced around that night in my room thinking trying not to think. He was right I need to stop worrying. I pulled out my pink paper and my fuzzy pens from my desk and sat on my bed and starting to write. Could me not having Janet be making me acting like an old man Nick, god I hope not. So I did what KP did and after my letter to Janet, I decided to not worry about it.

My feet bounce from one to another as I ran across the neighborhood. I felt a bit of sweat coming from under my lavender purple sports bra and forehead. Hair swinging from left to right right to left as I power through. In theory, if I wanted to I could run my whole town form one end to another. Music blast though my Bluetooth Air Pods. As I turn I reach Bloom Ave I made a quick left and push through till I reach a familiar two-story house at the end of the dead street. It sits back in the dirt a bit with a few stubs in the ground that somehow went perfect with the grey clay outer skeleton with huge windows and white curtains and a bright red wooden door. No cars in the driveway weren’t unfamiliar. Janet's mom or body double was always out at the local bar on some table dancing talking about her glory days. Janet hates that and even though she never told a soul she always fears she becomes that. Be stuck in the middle of nowhere no love and memories of when life was fearless Couldn’t ever be like that I told her as sat back on a black and white blanket sipping on my organic lemonade. She smiles and asks why. Because I will be there no quicksand right. She smiles and nods no quicksand.  I wipe my eyes as I came up to the front porch. I knock a few times before I gave up. Hail Mary twisting my neck a bit I look around to the empty street. From the corner of my eye, I could see the shades move. I turn my head around so quickly I got dizzy. I ran towards the window and tap at it. Trying to look in. It was blurry but I can dang sure I saw someone. I called out and bang it a few times. She was not gonna answer. With a exhale I turn and leaned against the window and slide till I was on the ground. I never gave up but this was starting to look like the only thing I could do. Was not doing that stupid drug that big of a deal. More. More I thought about it I got anger mad-sad even. Whipping my eyes with the back of my hand I got up and grab a few rocks. And started hitting the window calling out for her. Pissed I storm in circles across the front door like a madwoman. 

" I don't know what wrong but FUCK IT. YOU KNOW I CARE ABOUT YOU AND YOU DOING THIS IS FUCK UP. BECAUSE OF BLOODY DAMN DRUG. YOU PROMISE ME MOON AND STARS WE ARE NOTHING WITHOUT THE OTHER. SO IM NOT LEAVING IF I HAVE TO WRITE TO YOU AND LEAVE A FREAKIN LETTER OR CALL I AM. I KNOW SOMETHING FUCKIN WRONG. WHAT WE ARE YES IT IS COMPLICATED AND NOT WAY OF THINGS BUT I DO ANYTHING FOR YOU. THIS SHIT CHILDISH. YOU FUCKIN PROMISE J. They all leave me and you promise you won't" I stumble to my knees and hold onto my face with my hands and cried. I can't hate her even when I wanted to I can't. I cry and cry to the point my sweat and tears were blending into one.

Slowly getting up I look at the house once time. I lost. I lost over something so stupid. Crazy as it is if I could go back knowing what I know I still won't take that duck fuckin drug. I would just fight more so Janet wouldn't.

" No quicksand " I whisper before I walk off in defeat.

At work I didn't move much I just sat there listening to Casey about how Ethan couldn't make it something about going to the urgent care next town over. Casey was pleased because it meant she could leave early. Cleaning up the back exam rooms I recognize the towel Ethan used when she got attack day before. FUCK IT. I Peak before I snoop over to the magnifying glass and cup a piece of the towel and took a look. I tried squeezing my eyes but it wasn't close enough DARN I crushed at myself as I ruffle my hair through my hands. Biting the corner of my lip I look over for something anyway. JACKPOT. I rushed over and bent down to go through old equipment until I found the microscope that I remember Ethan told me about when I first started helping out. Sometimes about it not working right but if there one thing I was work with what you got a type of girl. It is I tap the metal table till the light came on. Grabbing the piece of the towel I place it over and fetch my glasses out my chest pocket and kiss my eyes to the lends. At first, it looks right till I saw a few things in the corner that didn't look quite right. The light kept flicking above me with an annoying buzz. Was it stupid yes but who said I was smart. More I tried to focus louder the buzz got. Till the office phone ring making me jump out my damn skin with a loud final act scream. AHHHH.

After a second to realize it was the phone, I quickly answer it. Hello, I said slightly out of breath. I heard heavy breathing. I repeated my self. Still nothing but heavy breathing. This isn't funny I said about to poop a golden egg. Still, it was heavy breathing. I can't hear you breathing I said looking around second-guessing every life decision I ever made. I gonna hang up I said but something stops me. Three words. No QUICKSAND. My eye widens Janet. I scream into the phone for her a bit excited and more so worried. But all I got was a dial tone I tried to call her but she didn't answer.

Each night around the same time the same message those three words. Of course, I tried to make her say anything else but no. My mind races trying to figure it out till each time I came to the same conclusion, she did not want my help or worst she could not ask for it.

I tap my foot as I look at my planner trying to figure out what to wear for my date with KP today. Strawberry favor purple teddy bear he got me on our first date sat on my lap between my thighs. He did tell me much but just it was a casual date no restaurant this time. We need that a few times when he was in school ones out of town. I liked those I could be anyone I wanted to be even though I could only drink the bottled water and had to bring omg own food. If they didn’t have things like organic apples. The third one we did he told me of his dream ones that included me. I like those a lot. Even after the two years when he went off to the army to take down the bad guys. Each letter you write adventures about life we were gonna have. I told him I didn’t care just wanted him there to hold me and love me. Stupid I know but stuck in a small town you can get caught up in those dreams.

After a few minutes of debating I pick up my feet push and turn around and around in my chair holding the hand of teddy. Hoping off after a few turns around I click on my radio and just decide to go with the flow whatever I was feeling. REMEMBER A DAY BY PINK FLOYD starting to play. I bop my head and shake my hips as I look through my denim.

Remember a day before today

A day when you were young.

Free to play alone with time

Evening never comes.

Toss a blue denim skirt with a beach wave cut on the bottom and round bottoms on the front. I lose myself in the beat that was creeping through my soul. Singing off-key look over my shoulders and pull out short sleeves stripe blue and black with a hint of the orange shirt.

Climb your favourite apple tree

Try to catch the sun

Hide from your little brother’s gun

Dream yourself away

I walk backward as I sang with my teddy in my hands the outro plucking out my round black shades to complete the outfit. Licking my lips I look into the mirror with items place in front to imagine how it would look. Something was messing I look behind and saw one of his old button-ups he left one night he stayed. Taking I deep breath in I look up to my ceiling knowing if things go well maybe I go a step forward. Or maybe not.

He came at exactly at 12 o clock. Rolling up in his 2010 Black Ford Raptor with the music blasting. I hope up without thought ran over as soon as it stops. Before I could get in I saw a few blankets on the passenger seat. Peaking up I saw him staring at me with those intoxicating midnight eyes that match his thick cut on side and swoosh in the front black hair. That I love to tug and play with between my dainty fingers. His smile was so wide that it shows off his perfect pearly whites. Reaching closer I smile into a kiss and I felt a lift as he pulls me in and into his lap. To deepen our kiss the taste of his toothpaste and hint of orange juice he must have had before coming over. Recently he taught me the fun of French kissing and art of a tongue. Pulling his bottom lip with my teeth I glance at him his strong muscular hand grip tight to my thigh.

“ Looks like someone wearing my clothes again” He said rubbing little patterns on my thigh with his index finger.

“ Want me to take it off and give it back. Baby” I asked playfully. With one last glance and shook his head no and tilt his head to look at me.

“ You know it drives me crazy seeing you wear my stuff. Let’s not forget the football jersey incident” he reminded me. It was 1st time I allow him to fell my thigh and butt. Thought alone brought a heat running down my body. Something Janet told me was normal. Playing with his hair I look down at what he was wearing. Black jeans with a red t-shirt an leather jacket.

“ So this the big date. Just sitting in your car. I could have told my parents we were staying for lunch then” I said playing with the collar of his jacket.

He ponders the question for a bit before he started to laugh. Picking me up he helps me over to the passenger seat. Left his right hand on my thigh and drove off with his left hand. After a few minutes, I wrap my hand with his and lean back and look at him as he drives. Few times he will peak over even throwing me a silly face which I then gave a few my own. Got to a light I peak out to the street. Crazy for a Saturday the usual busy with folks at the town square or at the farmer market that would be along Main Street it was pretty much close to deserted. Looking back as we drove off I sat back and ponder about it.

“ Did Bucks say anything about not having his produce today?” I asked.

“ Huh yeah sweetie it was postponed. Something happened to some of his vegetables. Think some kids piss on them. There also that beauty pageant in San Pedro. Took a bus over to watch” He said to bring my hand to kiss.

“ Yea yea I forgot. You know with Ethan gone. I feel like I’m working all alone forgetting the days. Where we going “ I asked.

“ Don’t worry we almost there. Would you put that scarf around your eyes it a surprise? Isaac” he said.

I took the red plaid scarf and wrap it around my eyes. The realization was starting to dawn on me besides our movie dates or him staying with me at night. This was our first date since he came back. Worried wasn’t even the word for it my whole body became snuffled with nerves. My mouth was dry and my neck felt warm.

“ Hey hey you okay,” he asked with a serious tone. I nod yes and hold on to his bicep tight.

“ Sorry just excited. Is all” I whisper holding on.

I didn’t know where I was but I felt the ground being a bit rough against my converse. One hand-grip tight to his other feeling my way. I could feel the moisture from the air and leaves. Before u even lifted the scarf I knew we were at our special hideout in Lover Lane.

Close behind me, he squeezed my shoulders gently as he whispered words of sweet nothing. I felt like Alice walking through wonderland. What if I look clearly through the darkness between the glitter and tiny rainbows I could find mad hatter drinking morning tea or the queen of hearts out by her garden w brush covered in red paint. Endless wonders who will I be would I be Alice full of innocence and wonder, the white rabbit who always running with of anxiety, Chester cat who full of the finger brings back cross and a smile with a bit of darkness inching to come back or maybe just a poor bystander. Most say I could pick out those three or add one in but today I didn’t know.

The blindness of the light brought me back from that rabbit hole of thoughts. Blinking a few times to adjust I saw a blur of trees and blue sky. It was beautiful right in the middle among all the flowers and grass was a big red planet blanket with a wicker basket in the center.

“ Surprise My Ama. Like it” KP said with a huge grind with his hands stretch out as far as possible. I didn’t know tears were coming down till KP came over to kiss them away. I hold his hand tight and kiss his hand before kissing each finger and look deep into his deep space eyes.

“ Did I do something why are you crying?” KP said a bit worried. I felt my lips playing peek a boo with teeth. I wish I knew why I was crying. I don’t even know anymore.

Instead of the truth I pull KP by hand and pull him onto the blanket before I let go and lay across. I curl my finger and motion for him to come over to sit by me. He lay his head on my lap. Right by edge of my skirt and he help right with his head facing my lower stomach. Playing with his hair between my fingers I came close and kiss his forehead gently. He holds me close and mumbles something. Maybe today I’m Alice before she found that hole.

The sun felt so good again my smooth rich terra- cotta skin. My hair was slip to the side taking in the sun raises. I could here KP reading from his old worn-out copy of The Last Man in the background still laying on my lap. He always had a fascination with Pre-American Gothic and an unseen classic from popular authors. Could read anything that was calming may you forget the world around you and drunk of his voice capturing his presence. Once he read House of Leaves to me when we were both in head and sound like a lullaby.

What is there in our nature that is forever urging us on towards pain KP read.

I bent down in front of the book to block any of the words and cup his cheeks in my hands and kiss him. Putting the book beside him he returns the kiss and pulls in deeper and turns me over to he was on top. My head rests on my honey scent shampoo hair. I could smell the woody scent of his Guilty Pour Homme Spray by Gucci he always put on. He moves his hand to crest cheek eyes match my woods brown eye with his. I could feel something hard pressuring against my thigh. With a sigh, I look at him and then down. Once again. As if he could read my thoughts he slowly pulls away.

“ Should probably not continue this before we are both in trouble huh baby?” KP said in his deep chocolate voice. I slowly nod and place my hands against his side and rub it against the pants being the only thing stopping me to go further. I need an escape something to stop my thoughts stop me from jumping face-first onto the hole. I felt moving his hips with movement with my palm. Kiss trace down my neck gently I curve into his touch wanting more. God, he knew how to make this girl feel good. His hands while rough with warn and tares always was gentle. Without thought I let out a sigh as we continue till out nowhere I thought I heard some birds. A lot of birds. Opening my eyes corner of my sight I see a family of birds flying in a flock west of me. I bent my head back as I follow the birds until they disappear. My mind drifts off to where they were going what would they do once they are there.

“ Ama I gotta tell you something alright something very important and I need you to listen can you do that” KP asked as he kisses my neck some more. I nod and mouth yes.

“ You know when I left I thought I was strong I thought I was brave. I wanted to protect you so badly from all evil all darkness I went onto war. But honestly, it’s not what I thought baby. The world we live in full of chaos more I tried to fix it stay in line I found my self missing you thinking what if I stay with you” KP said and continue to kiss me between my chest. Feeling brought old feelings I haven’t felt in more a year ago.

“ This world needs order. And I can’t do it all alone. Many nights I was barley holding thinking of ending my life but I got your letters and face times. If it wasn’t for you I will be lost in this huge empty world. I have been thinking and well what if after you graduate we leave pack all your shit and leave. Nothing d holding us back” KP said. I blink and look at him he stops kissing me and look back up at me with huge night sky eyes. I could hear some strange noises from behind me. KP was still speaking and all I could do was stare at him with drunk haze eyes.

“ Would you run off with me?” KP asks turning to go get up to look at me. No words can describe the look in his eyes passion fear worry lust doubt. Galaxy with million and one thoughts hiding in plain sight. Could I leave and blindly follow him into the unknown future. FUCK YEAH, I WOULD that promised I gave him so long ago.

Before I could say anything everything happens in a flash. The gravity pull was distracted in a minor of seconds. I felt him pushed my down covering me with his chest I look and I could feel something wet. Stumbling back on the blanket my breath gets shorter and I start to feel dizzy my fingertips were numb I felt like the more I tried to breathe more I fell deeper into the darkness. Then were the two muscle arms scooping me up from behind?

“ ISAAC ISSAC AMA AMA BABY BABY LOOK AT ME. Come one before you go into shock “ KP shout out. I look away from the body and at him. His thick finger covers my flushed cheeks. I slowly start to nod and look back at the body.

“ Is he.... is he dead we gotta do -“ I stop as I could see man chest rising a bit he was saying something. I let go and slowly follow the mumble I was a foot away before I felt a hand on my shoulder stopping me. I couldn’t freak out not like before a deep breath in I slowly turn back around.

“ Not safe. Take my phone get services and called for help” KP said in his deep savior voice he does when he serious. I glance back at the body. It gosh out blood to point you couldn’t tell where the actual puncture wound was. Where was it that was gonna be on his death certificate. From where I was it looks like his had puss and some strange black markers. He spoke to me but I did not answer him instead I remain quite till I heard the 911 operator.

“ He Hello. Yes huh, this is huh Amaryllis Isaac Smith I’m with my boyfriend Kindred Phillip” I could hear KP be reaping the word deputy. I nod and look at him he was hovering over the body almost studying it. “ Deputy Sargent Phillip. We are huh mm KP where are we” I stop and scream again where are we.

“ Lover Lane South East entranced a quarter-mile away from the lake. TELL ME THE PEEK A BOO SPOT they will know” He shoot out.

I repeated words word by word what he said. I heard the words by I couldn’t answer.

“Yes, there a man baby hurt. PLEASE HURRY” I said. Placing my hand to the phone I look at KP. “ Is he breathing KP “ I shout out. I couldn’t see one of his hands he was knee down to the body his back facing me. I waited but he didn’t answer just slowly got up and brush his hands on his thighs and grab the phone.

“ He dead. We wait to cops come. Maybe an ambulance my girl she a bit shook up. That’s okay Baby ... Baby” KP asked looking down at me. I couldn’t breathe anymore my hands wrap around his broad shoulder for my dear life my right cheek pushed onto his chest till I could hear his heart. Far away by the now dead body, I saw flames surrounding it. Tears gently fell more flames the closer I pulled into him till my vision was blur form fabric of his shirt. With one last breathe I was free-falling down that hole.

[jvson]

hello and WELCOME to the thunderdome. no i do not know what is going on & no i will not be taking criticism at this time. it’s ya girl emily, 22, she / her, vibing in the est & it’s time to meet ur occasionally clever mostly stupid himbo king cas !!!!!!

BACKGROUND.

trigger warning for mention of murder / death .

he’s from a lil backwoods town, lived in a trailer park as a kid, v blue collar area etc etc But his mom is this lively city girl that his dad had like a month long whirlwind romance with before she dropped cas on his doorstep nine months later

his dad met this survivalist / doomsday prepper dude that moved to town when cas was like six or so and he was like u know what this dude makes points

he pulled cas out of school p young so he didn’t learn ??? anything ?? unless he figured it out himself so he’s always been forced to do things Himself or not at all u know. literally this kid didn’t learn how to read until he was like 10 so don’t ask him what two squared is he doesn’t fucking Know

he joined the marines at 18 and ended up falling in love w a fellow soldier named sam ( aw ) so gay rights babey

a few years into his military career he met this dude who turned out to be the god kratos, aka the divine personification of strength & power, and double whammy surprise kratos is his GRANDPA #wild

one day kratos tried to order his unit to leave sam behind in a firefight and cas was like hm actually No and convinced everyone to go against kratos to save sam

for his trouble he got a medal and a curse all in one rip :/

so as for his curse he basically ended up getting all these prophecies and quests to do on behalf of the gods bc kratos was like aight u can be a soldier for the gods 4ever

one prophecy ended up being that he had to kill sam which is :( sad especially since sam was like “it’s okay” and helped him do it so ... in conclusion i hate it here

he also got a prophecy at some point that he’s fated to die at the hands of someone he’s wronged on behalf of the gods so ... rip cas ig

ever since then he’s just been wandering around doin his quest thing until he moved to the database town !

now he’s vibing as a handyman type so ... get him to come build u a fence he’ll measure it with his heart ❤️

PERSONALITY.

HIMBO !!! himbo

listen he do be having a few brain cells sometimes, as a treat. as stated previously he doesn’t know what two squared is but like ... he does solve the riddles the gods give him so his head isn’t completely empty

has a problem w/ keeping a degree of separation between himself and others like .. especially in regards to his quests and stuff he’s been accused of being Cold and Ruthless in the name of getting it done, he’s sacrificed people in the past in the name of the quest and that’s gonna bite him in the ass someday

he thinks traditional schooling is Dumb bc he’s like i’ve done all this stuff without a single crumb of school so he thinks it’s all a scam and that’s that on that

fun fact: his mom has magic ! she’s a demigod tho so she got more power than cas did. he does have a lil power that he’s not super aware of ?? basically what it boils down to is like... the power of suggestion, in a way. if he’s really passionate abt something ( like not leaving sam behind ), he can sway people / crowds toward his point of view especially if they’re already on the fence. it’s def not anything Super powerful like if ur stuck in your ways he can’t make you change your mind but ! he can encourage u to consider it !

in conclusion plot with me xoxo

[waekey]

Simblreen | Found (old) suggestions | More

Anonymous said: the gift for today was so amazing??? i love it, thank you sooo much!

Anonymous said: Holy shit today's treat is awesome thank u so much for it!! love u

You’re so welcome! I’m really happy you like them and thank you all for coming - also again to everyone I replied to privately! ;D

@zzzcorpion said: hi! i love your cc sm

@candychucotton said: Hello! I love your cc, it's so well made!

Anonymous said: I hope you know who great you are!

Thank yooooou! <<3<3<3

Anonymous said: do you do non-kpop things? melanie martinez clothes from her mvs, esp in k-12 era, are GORGEOUS and cute af :x can you maybe do something similar? 

Yes I do. ;)

Could this dress by @cas-fulleditmode be what you are looking for? :D

moon light submitted

[photo]

blackpink jennie 

@simssysworld submitted: 

hello there!! i love all your sims 4 cc and i download all of them because every work of yours is pretty and amazing.. can you please do this produce 48 uniform if u have time. thx xoxo

@melancholicangelx submitted:

[photo]

Hello, i love your cc’s and i’m a kpop fan too. anyways, i just wanna suggest if you can make the outfit of wsjn in their new single “save me, save you” it is just so cute. thanks. 

@pinksaintgeorge submitted:

Suggestion: Weki Meki "Picky Picky" uniform.

Some of these are different, but the general idea is a jacket, a skirt, a white shirt, a tie / bow, white net stockings or blue / white socks and white shoes. Two of them wear dresses but since it’s only 2 of 8 is not essential.

[photos]

@Alice submitted:

Weki Meki CC

Hi I don’t know if you know of the group Weki Meki but they recently came back and they had some really interesting outfits

I’ve attached a few pictures to give you some ideas but I think specifically the mesh kilt/short combo would be really cool

Love your cc!!

[photos]

To all the school uniform suggestions, check out these links. ^^

Link 1, link 2, link 3, link 4

@dailydoseofbutera submitted: BT21

Can you make BT21 merch clothes? For example the ones inside hot topic can you go off that look and make it for sims?

Something like this: Link 1, link 2, link 3 ? :D

Yuka-chan submitted:

Hi! Could you please make Jimin’s Outfit from Blood, Sweat & Tears M/V? Or the Outfits from Red Velvet’s RBB? 

@pastel--simmer submitted:

I already made a suggestion for Jimin’s outfit in Blood, Sweat and Tears, but I thought I should include a picture. 

[photo]

I have a blazer here with a swatch that looks a bit like Jimin’s blue one. :D

(I cannot see the included photo, so I don’t know if it’s referring to the blue blazer or something else. ^^”)

anon submitted: VIXX Hongbin and N

I understand that you may have many requests, but I hope that any point in time you could either do N’s black turtle neck or pink/salmon?? overcoat, or Hongbin’s shirt (I’m not so sure as how to describe it) and his blazer/suit(?). I hope my request isn’t such a chore if you do it, thank you.

[photo]

N’s looks a bit like this one and this one looks like Hongbin’s. :D

Anonymous said:Do you think you will ever make Ddu Du Ddu Du outfits? My faves are Lisa's checkered shirt and Jisoo's collared black dress and, of course, the plaid outfits at the end. It'd be cool to see one of those since your AIIYL outfits were so beautiful! (thank you for the time and effort you put into these clothes btw you're my fave for sure) 

anonymous submitted:

[photo]

this top 

Here is Jisoo’s dress and Lisa’s top. :D

@patysimd submitted:

[photos]

Okay! I have two suggestions for you. The first two photos is a flannel-dress thing and the last photo is a cute pocket skirt. If you can’t make this at least tell me if someone made something similar. Thanks! 

Here is a similar babydoll dress. :D

misha submitted:

more unif please!!!

https://www.unifclothing.com/collections/womens/products/dolly-sweater

literally anything unif… please

This top has a swatch similar to the top you linked. :D

Hans submitted:

SHORTS

glitter shorts/skirts

[photo]

You can get the whole outfit here! :D

@lexilolita submitted:

Heart zip turtle neck + plaid dress

I would love to see this recreated? up to you if you make it one dress or an undershirt and dress separately! and if possible i would love to see a few pastel swatches instead of just dark colours? (like pink and blue) Thank you!

[photo]

This dress is perhaps very similar. ;)

@lieswithoutlife submitted:

[photo]

Hi~ I was wondering if you can make Jungkook’s Euphoria jacket, if it’s possible. Thank you! 

Not sure if you have already seen this since it’s an old suggestion + an old piece of CC, but @casteru​ has created it. QwQ

[trickkombowerskru]

Relationship ABC’S-Jack Kline

Request: Anonymous: omg could you do a jack kline relationship abc's?

Warnings: None

A- Anniversary

(What would they do for your anniversary?)

Jack is such a sweetheart bless, he would go all out for your anniversary giving you the best time  

B -Birthday

(How would they celebrate your birthday?)

He would adorably try to make you a cake, and fails, but fear not he uses his powers to fix it after you come back to the bunker and see him covered in frosting, adorably holding, a spatula, then proceeds to treat you even more lie a princess 

C- Cook

(Do they cook? Can they cook? What food do they like to cook for you?)

As mentioned in the cake inicident, this sweet boy cannot cook, but he is down to learn if you want to teach him how to make meals

D- Domestic

(How domestic are they? Would they clean/cook? Help you clean/cook? Or would they just mess everything up?)

Oh my gosh Jack is so domestic, it’s the cutest thing, he’s either trying to help you cook or helping out around the bunker 

E- Effort

(How much effort do they put into your relationship?)

Considering you’re his first relationship he puts so much effort into it, whether that be asking Sam and Dean for advice, or reading up about stuff online, he jsut wants things to be as perfect as they can be because he loves you so much

F- First Date

(Where do you go on your first date? How does it go? etc…)

It was at the diner you two shared a milkshake, and it went amazing

G- Gifts

(What kind of gifts do they give you? What kind of gifts do they like receive? etc…)

Jack likes to get you adorable little things with sentiment, he’s such a good listener so even the tiniest hinting you say about liking something he’ll get it 

H- Honeymoon

(Where do you go on your Honeymoon?)

He let’s you pick a time period and then you two time travel there with the help of his powers

I- Intimacy

(how touchy feely are they? when would they become comfortable to be touchy feely?)

Oh Jack is so intimate with you, he loves holding you close in any way, shape, or form, even if it’s just holding your hand

J- Jealous

( How jealous are they? How often do they get jealous? How they react? etc…)

Jack can be mildly jealous, he usually will talk to one of the boys about it though since they can cool him off from doing anything stupid

K- Kids

(How are they with kids? Do they want kids? etc…)

He is so good with kids I mean he is kinda like a giant toddler himself so he does good with them, and he would love to have kids with you once he can find out a way to keep you from dying from having having his child

L- Long Distance

(How do they cope with Long Distance? How they prefer to keep in contact? etc…)

Jack gets so pouty when he’s away from you, like the cute little puppy he is, but he calls to check in at least once if not twice a day to make sure you’re safe

M-Marriage

(Do they want to get married? How do they propose to you? The wedding? etc…)

Oh he would love to, but he knows you can

t rush into things, especially where you’re both at in life right now

N- Night’s Out

(Where do they take you on nights out? How often do nights out happen?)

You two tend to just stop by a diner for something, usually a sundae ofc with extra nougat, they are very sporadic, but you can tell when the other one s upset about something

O- Open

(When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything at once or what a while to reveal?)

I mean.....he said it himself this most recent episode he is a Winchester so....that could lead to some bottled up emotions about things, but when Jack is ready he will tell you all about it 

P- Public Displays Of Affection

(Do they like PDA? Do they have boundaries? etc…)

He gets so sweet about PDA like a peck here, or some hand holding there sign him up, but if you try to do anything else with this boy, like a make out session he turns so red so fast

Q- Quarrel

(What do you argue about most? How often fights occur?)

You two don’t argue that much, but when you do it’s mostly out of his concern about you doing something dangerous, because he knows on hunts crazy shit can happen, and he just needs you to be safe

R- Reunited

(What’s it like when they reunite with you after a trip?)

After one of you comes back form a hunt that the other was stuck at the bunker during, he’ll come through the front door and hug you so tight, picking you up and spinning you around before pulling you close again, and kissing your forehead

S- Snuggling

(Do they like cuddling? How do they cuddle? etc…)

YES YES AND YES Jack adores snuggling he’s such a little snuggle bug

T- Text

(How often do you text? How do they speak when they text? How do they react when they receive texts from you? etc…)

You text pretty often usually just things about hunts and such, but when you’re away you get cute little messages from him, and vice versa

U- Upset

(What do they do when you’re upset? What do you do when they’re upset?)

He’ll usually go to his room and keep the door locked for everyone, but you, unless you’re in a fight then it’s locked for everyone, but Cas

V- Valentine’s Day

(What would they do to celebrate Valentine’s Day?)

He would try to make Valentine’s Day so special, you get like all the sweet little things and then he’ll do something extra sweet and romantic with the help of his powers

W- When

(At what point do you move into together? What kind of place? etc…)

Well I mean when he showed up in your life you were already living in the bunker, so you two were living together before you even got together 

X- XOXO

(What are their hugs and kisses like?)

Jack’s hugs are always so warm and comfort filled making you feel like the only person in the world, with his kisses always being soft and sweet 

Y-You

(What do they love most about you?)

He loves your level of understanding, it’s very comforting for him 

Z- Zoom

(Zoom into the future, what does your future look like?)

You two are married, and he found a way for you to carry his child so you have a boy named James and a girl named Kelly

[lovelybones81]

Unthinkable *updated 12/15*

Summary: Seven years, three movies, two people, one story. But before they can get their happily ever after, Sebastian Stan and Camille Solis must learn to trust in each other and in themselves, before allowing the unthinkable to happen.

Warnings: Fluff, future smut, Language, Angst, mental health, WOC lead character, Slow Burn

Masterlist link Unthinkable 

Rating: NC-17 

**Hi all, here is the next installment! I believe this is my longest, but I promise its so worth it! xoxo Ps. When I was writing, this is the Sebastian I pictured in my head! ;) 

Chapter 20 Wildest Dreams

Out in an unknown place Kinda like that feels You came in my life and held me here Just in the nick of time When I lacked the will To keep on moving on You've been in my dreams, but from now Couldn't figure out the reasons I kept asking God why And now I'm receiving abundance of love And I get it, But never could imagine it, in my wildest dreams...

 February 2011

 Studio City, CA

 “You didn’t have to dress up for me.” Sebastian greeted sarcastically the moment Camille opened the front door.

 Taking the candy sucker out of her mouth, she glanced down at her attire. She was in a pair of blue sweat pants and an old high school t-shirt she wore only around the house and messy hair pulled up in a bun at the top of her head. Okay, so maybe she wasn’t dressed in the best clothes, but it was Sunday night. Her period had just started, she been cramping all of day and hadn’t felt like leaving the house. She glanced back up at Sebastian with a slight smirk. “I had plan on wearing my garter belt and lacy bra but I thought it would be too uncomfortable.” Shrugging innocently and putting the sucker back in her mouth for effect.

 Sebastian’s mouth slacked for a split moment at her remark but he quickly recuperated, letting his eyes linger up and down her body.

 “What?” She asked, trying to push that tingle between her legs away at the way he was staring her down.

 He met her gaze and responded. “I just got an image of you wearing what you just described.” Licking his bottom lip almost sensually.

 Damn it. He always had a comeback! Sneaky bastard. But instead Camille scowled, grabbing the door as if she was about to close it.

 “Whoa, whoa, whoa. You started it!” he quickly exclaimed with a chuckle. “Besides-are you really going to make me leave? I bring pizza!”

 Of course she wasn’t really going to close the door on him, yet pretended to think about it. She raised an eyebrow. “Pepperoni?”

 “Yes.”

 “And pineapple?”

 Sebastian scrunched up his nose. “Yes, you weirdo.”

 Camille wrinkled her forehead at his remark. Apparently it was weird to him that she liked pineapple on pizza. Typically when they shared pizza, they always ordered half of what each wanted. Letting out an exasperated sigh, Camille took a step back gesturing for him to come inside. Sebastian grinned from ear to ear before closing the door behind him. Without saying another word, Camille moseyed toward the kitchen, Sebastian in toe.

 “Have you eaten today?” he asked once they set foot into the kitchen. “Besides that sucker in your mouth.” He added smugly.

 “Yesss.” Camille said with a small nod, throwing the now lonely stick in the trash can. “I’ve had cookies and chips as well.” She mumbled, then quickly asked. “Wine or beer?”

 “Wines fine.” He answered, setting the pizza box on the countertop. “So you’ve had junk food?” he probed with a hint of amusement in his voice.

 “Oh yeah, because pizza is just as healthy.” Camille mocked, taking two clean wine glasses out of the top cabinet, the bottle of red wine under her arm. She made her way toward him and the pizza, placing the wine and glasses down.

 “I never said it was healthy.” Sebastian protested.

 Camille quickly became distracted, her eyes landing on book on top of the pizza box. Tilting her head, she read the title out loud. “Picnic.”

 “Huh? What?” Sebastian said, taking the cork out of the bottle.

 “I was just reading the title of this book.”

 “Oh yeah, I stopped by a book store for it.” He explained, pouring wine into each glass. “It’s a play actually, underneath is the script or screenplay my manager gave me earlier to look over. Apparently they are wanting to revive it on Broadway.”

 “And Emily thought you would be a good fit for it?” Camille supplied with a warm smile, taking both glasses of wine and nodding toward the living for him to follow.

 His cheeks had turned a shade of pink as he ran his fingers through his hair. “Yeah. I guess so.” Following after her, and putting the pizza box on the coffee table in front of them.

 “Why Mr. Stan, I believe you’re blushing.” She teased, handing his wine over.

 “Shut up. I’m not.” He muttered, carefully placing the book and script next to him before opening the pizza box and quickly shoving it into his mouth, chewing for a few moments.

 Camille watched carefully, trying to read him. She couldn’t help but notice his hair had grown out a bit longer from the last time she had seen him, and the 5’ o’clock shadow beard he had going on at the moment was doing things to her. Damn, he really did have a beautiful face. She hadn’t necessarily forgotten how beautiful, but it had been almost a month a half since the last time they had seen each other and it was nice to have a refresher of it.

 The holiday season had come and gone and the New Year had brought on a busy schedule for the both of them. Camille had been so swamped with work and the new project Liz had assigned her to, she had barely got a chance to truly enjoy the holidays, let alone really spend time with Sebastian. The same could be said about him of course, with auditions in New York and Los Angeles, he barely had time to breath. Even when he was in Los Angeles the last few times, they had only been able to see each other 3 times since Christmas. Which Camille had come to recognize was their new normal, seeing each other when they could, but keeping in contact through phone/text and even email.

 Camille grinned widely before reaching for a slice of pizza. “Yes, you are…” she said in a song-song voice. Sebastian glowered, but didn’t say a word. “What part would you be playing?”

 “I haven’t even audition yet.” He protested, taking a large bite of his slice.

 She chewed a few times, then said in a knowing tone. “But when you do and you get the part, who would you be playing?”

 Sebastian let out a small snort. “Your confidence in me is flattering.” He tried to joke. “They wouldn’t start production for another year or so.” He explained, leaning back against the comfortable cushion. “But the character I would be auditioning for is named Hal Carter.” Camille took another bite, waiting expectantly for him to continue. Sebastian squinted his eyes playfully at her. “You want me to elaborate?”

 Camille only nodded.

 Clearing his throat, he sat up straight again. “From what I’ve read so far- he is supposed to be sort of a drifter who isn’t sure of where he belongs and gets invited to a Labor Day picnic by a former college roommate…and I guess causes havoc in the lives of the people in the small town. Especially the women.” He stated, nervously running his fingers through one side of his hair.  

 He was adorable when he was unsure of things. She couldn’t help the smile that tugged on her lips, watching him. “Would I be invited to the grand opening? On Broadway?” she teased.

 He tossed his head back and let out a laugh. “Darlin, I haven’t even auditioned yet. Nothing is definite. It’s just pure talk right now.”

 “Don’t sell yourself short Sebby.” Camille stated, gently tapping his nose with her finger. “And don’t think that this will count as you taking me to a Broadway show.” She added, prompting that he still owed her a show.

 Rolling his eyes, he took the last bite of his slice. “Hey, it’s not my fault you can’t say no to Liz. You had an opportunity to come see me last month but you turned it down.” He reminded with a shrug.

 Camille glared and defended. “You know I couldn’t leave her hanging with all those new people!” Referring to last minute supervision job Liz had her do a few weeks ago, while Liz flew down to New Zealand to sign the rest of the legal paperwork for the new job they had just been contracted to do. 

 Sebastian chuckled lowly. “Dragoste, I know.” Trying to hold in his snickers. “I was just trying to get a rise out of you.” He confessed with a wink. “You think after all this time I couldn’t still do it...but here we are.” 

 Reaching for her glass of wine, Camille scowled. “You’re a pain.” Bringing the glass to her lips. 

 “Maybe so, but you wouldn’t want me any other way.” 

 “You think that wouldn’t you?” She snapped back with a smug look and taking another long swig of wine. Shaking his head, Sebastian snorted back his laugh reaching for his own glass. Camille felt a small smile tug on her lips at his laughter. Sigh. Fine. She couldn’t stay mad at him for too long. New York had been a perfect example of that.

 For the next couple of hours they ate, drank and caught up on each other’s daily routine/life. Even though they had lunch the day before, they really did not get the chance to talk as they were surrounded by their friends. (Liz, Natalie, Charles and Will). Camille had suggested (mostly guilt tripped) him into coming over and hanging out before he flew back out Monday morning.

 Resting the back of her head on the fluffy pillows, Camille listened to him talk about his last few auditions and meetings. She loved hearing him get all excited about his future endeavors when he spoke. His whole face would light up and his facial expressions gave away how much he loved what he did, regardless of the long trips.

 “How’s the wedding planning going?” Sebastian asked, after he had finished telling her about his last audition.

 Camille rolled her eyes and groaned before putting an arm over her face. “Don’t ask.”

 “That bad?” he asked with a chuckle.

 “The wedding is 3 weeks away and they are both driving me crazy! Which is why I suggested Sam drive up to San Francisco to keep an eye on things. Because they’ve been stressing me out with all their bickering. I know it’s just because they both want things to be perfect. And I get it. But being apart for a while before the wedding might be good for them.”

 “I was wondering why Sam didn’t join us yesterday.”

 Camille couldn’t help but let out an evil giggle, removing the arm from her face to look at him. “Because I sent her away. Well okay…I put the idea in their head.”

 “Where’s Natalie right now?”

 “She had to go and make sure the table settings are what they ordered. She should be back here in a bit.” Lifting her head up, she asked. “How’s Georgeta?” with a huge smile, changing the subject.

 Sebastian grinned back. “Good. She just got back from a trip to Washington-which is a big deal for her because you know she isn’t much of a fan of traveling.” His eyes grew wide. “Which reminds me, she sent a box of German chocolate with me to give to you.” His eyebrows knitted together. “Shit, I thought I brought it in with me…” he mused. “I must have left it in the car.” Pushing himself up from couch. “I’ll be right back.”

 “Okay.” Camille said after him, as he made his way to the front door. Following his lead, she stood up and reached for the empty pizza box, and almost empty wine bottle. She turned in the direction of the kitchen then abruptly stopped, pressing her lips together to reach back out for the book and script Sebastian had left on the couch. She couldn’t help it-she was curious and also had a feeling Sebastian was not sharing the whole story with her.

 She reached for Tupperware in one of the cabinets and placed the remaining couple of pieces of pizza in them, before sticking it in the fridge. Once she had finished, her fingers reached for the small paperback book and began to skim through it, reading a few couple of pages. After a few moments, she placed the book down and grasped the script book, flipping through it as well.

 “Did you drink the rest of the wine?” she heard Sebastian asked teasingly, making her jump a bit at the sound of his voice.

 With the script still in hand, Camille looked over her shoulder, she must have been so enthralled in reading because Sebastian was walking toward her with both wine glasses in hand. She didn’t even hear him walk back inside. 

 “What did you do?” He asked cautiously. 

 Camille blinked innocently. “What do you mean?” 

 Pointing one finger accusingly he answered. “You’re eyes always get all big when you’re up to something.” 

 “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Turning her attention back the script. “Although you could have mentioned that the part you’re going to be playing is kind of the lead.” She accused nonchalantly, flipping through it once again. “This would be so great!” She added excitedly. 

 Sebastian sat the empty glasses on the counter, leaning his whole body close to her. “I should just make you my publicist with all this hype you’re giving me.” 

 “I would make an awesome publicist-thank you very much.” 

 “It doesn’t pay too well.” Sebastian deadpanned, at the same time placing the box of German chocolate in front of her face. Grinning from ear to ear. “But I do provide chocolate.” He added quickly, shaking the box for effect. 

 “Your mom is too sweet.” Camille said, her heart warming up at how thoughtful Georgeta was with her.  

 “She seems to like you.” Sebastian answered with a shrug. “I don’t know why...” he muttered, looking innocently at her. 

 “Hmm, probably because I have to deal with the likings of you.” Camille sassed back, reaching out for the box but Sebastian was quicker and moved it from her reach. “Sebastian...!” she whined. 

 “You’re mean.” He said, feigning a look of hurt. 

 “Maybe so, but you wouldn’t want me any other way.” Mockingly repeating the words from earlier back to him. 

 Sebastian stuck his tongue out, but opened the box of chocolate and asked instead. “So- what do you think of the play?” Offering her a piece of chocolate. 

 “From what I’ve what I was able to read?” 

 “Yeah.” 

 “It’s a solid story. And Hal’s character would be perfect for you.” Taking a piece of chocolate into her mouth before sitting down on the bar stool closest to the middle kitchen island.

 “Emily wants me to find a few scenes I like so I can use them for my audition.” He explained, taking another piece of chocolate into his mouth. “Was there anything in there that caught your eye?” he asked.

 Camille glanced through a couple of pages, while her other free hand reached blindly for another piece of the delicious chocolate. “Hmm. I did see a few…” she mused, trying to find it again. After a few moments of silence, she gasped unexpectedly.

 “What?” Sebastian said in an alarmed voice, pouring the rest of the wine for each of them.

 “I can run lines with you!” She answered a little too excitedly, her face beaming.

 He scrunched up his nose. “You want to run lines with me?” he repeated slowly.

 “Sure, why not?” she said with a light shrug. Sebastian opened his mouth, then quickly snapped it shut again as if trying to decide what to say. “I mean if you want to…” Camille added, all of sudden feeling a bit self-conscious.

 “No-I mean…yeah we can.” Rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

 “But…?” Camille pushed.

 Sebastian cleared his throat. “I guess I’m just a bit nervous, since we’ve never done that before.”

 Camille put two and two together. “Sebastian-did you forget that we worked together and that I’ve seen you act on a set of a movie before?” And at the same time she pulled her hair out of the bun, it was starting to give her a headache.

 “Well yeah-but that was after I had gotten the part and stuff.” He said lamely. They didn’t say anything for a few seconds, and Camille watched him carefully as he tried to process. He finally spoke. “But I guess it would be good to have someone to bounce the lines off of. Especially since I’ll be meeting with them this coming Tuesday.” He grinned up at her. “Okay, Ms. Broadway- which scene should we do first?” he asked jokingly.

 They made their way back toward the living room and for the next 30 minutes or so, they found a few scenes they both thought would be great for him to try. Camille found herself completely enamored by him as they began to read some of the scenes out loud. While she had to keep looking down at her lines (while taking sips of wine in between of course) Sebastian seemed to pick up on Hal’s lines pretty quickly.  

 He really was something to watch. This was his craft and it only made Camille admire him even more. 

 “Camille?” 

 She blinked out of her thoughts. “Huh? What?” 

 He chuckled. “Where you go? It’s your line.” Taking his own sip of wine. 

 Where she go? Oh she was just drooling over him that’s all. Seeing him this way made him even more attractive. Damn it.  

 “S-sorry.” She stammered. Hoping he hadn’t caught on. “Um where were we?” She asked clearing her throat nervously.  

 “Well Madge,” Sebastian started referring to her as one of the character of the play. “I just finished telling you I was a bum.” He said with a shy smile.  

 Camille quickly looked down at the script and fed him the next line. This went on for the next few minutes. And again she found herself in awe on how quick he could turn it on and not be Sebastian for a part. But she pushed through and watched him give his next line: 

 Hal: Baby, are you cryin?

 Madge: Just a little. 

 Hal: Why? 

 Madge: I don’t know. 

 Hal: You almost got me doing it.

 Madge: It’s not because I’m unhappy, really.

 Camille took the moment to reach back out and take the last bit of wine down. She glanced back at him and felt the air almost leave her lungs at how intently he was looking back at her. He continued with his next line:

 Hal: Same here, I’m not unhappy.

 Madge: It’s just that-

 Hal: Well...kiss me goodnight anyway, will you?

 Camille felt her heart began to race faster all of a sudden. She licked her bottom lip and said the next line:

 Madge: If you promise not to hold me?

 Sebastian had stepped closer now, hands behind his back. He continued: 

 Hal: Yeah, I promise. I’ll keep my hands at my side. See?

 Camille swallowed the lump in her throat. Unsure if she could speak. Taking in a large breath, she said the next line: 

 Madge: Now, I’ll kiss you.

 She involuntarily leaned forward, and he did the same. 

 “What’s next?” Sebastian whispered.

 She licked her bottom lip nervously trying to find the words. The room had also gotten a few degrees hotter. “Madge is supposed to kiss Hal…” She trailed off.

 “Yeah?”

 “Yeah.” She nodded blankly in agreement, unable to make any movement. She wasn't sure of what she was doing, but she knew she wasn't ready for this little moment to end. It was like a magnetic pull. A magnetic pull she had not been able to understand after all these months. The line once again a blur. Any panic she had felt earlier about them evaporated as he leaned in closer. He seemed to sense it too. It was just them now. She didn't care about anything else at that moment.

 Camille froze as his mouth touched hers. Her chin jerked up and her eyes met his. The realization of what was about to happen, sinking in. “You promised to keep your hands next to you.” She reminded, trying to keep the mood light. "I mean-" she stopped herself.

 “Hal promised that.” Sebastian answered back not breaking his gaze. She braced herself, as she waited for him to pull away and tell her it was a mistake. “Me on the other hand…”

What she got was slow and sneaky. His lips were smooth and cool. Despite being unhurried, there was nothing tentative about the way he angled his mouth over hers, then slid his tongue inside before she had a chance to change her mind. There was just a second, when Camille thought he would stop if she told him to. But the unbelievable sensuality of his kiss made her realize that wasn't what she wanted. Instead she wrapped her arms around his neck and tugged him back down with her, his fingers gripped one side of her hip, his tongue in her mouth, her insides melting like chocolate.

 After several heart-racing moments he broke his lip lock, leaving Camille limp and dizzy. She blinked him back into focus, as the reality of what just happen hit the pit of her stomach. But unlike before when the possibility or thought of kissing him scared her, this time it didn't bring any anxiety or panic, instead she felt relatively calm. “You didn’t keep your promise." she murmured jokingly.

 “I didn’t make that promise.” Sebastian said hoarsely.

 Camille bit on her top lip, the feel of his lips still making her mouth tingle. Her mind was still whirling at what just happened. “That….was-was-.” unable to put sentences together.

 “Overdue?” Sebastian offered with a weak smile, pressing his forehead against hers. She shivered as his fingers moved underneath her oversize shirt, his fingertips grazing her bare skin.

 "Completely." she whispered, unwrapping her arms from around his neck.

 Sebastian chuckled. "Yeah." He tunneled his fingers through her loose curls, drawing her face up, bringing her flush against his body. Body stiff, she lifted her head, her eyes shadowed by her long lashes. "Is this okay though?" he asked in an almost panicked voice.

 Nicole lips parted and her eyes fluttered closed, nodding. “Y-yeah…yes…” she breathed.

 “Okay, I just don’t want to push you into anything you don’t want-.”

 “Sebastian.” Camille interrupted.

 “Hmm?”

 “Shut up and kiss me.” She demanded softly.

 Sebastian closed the gap, kissing her once again. She melted into his arms and clanged to him, her breasts pressed against his chest, her body molding against his as she allowed his invasion. His mouth moved over hers and he caught her lower lip, tasting the inside of her mouth with the tip of his tongue. Camille moved against him, her hands coming up to comb through his hair as she nipped his upper lip between her teeth, then laved the sting with her tongue. He groaned in appreciation.

 The simple act of kissing Sebastian was stunningly arousing, but then again Camille figured it would be. She didn't want to stop. They hadn't planned on doing this. They were only supposed to be reading lines. She could have pulled away, but the thought had lasted only a split second. And instead of showing she was in control he now had her wrapped in his arms and she was kissing him back and demanding more.

 She made an aggressive sound in the back of her throat as she arched her soft body full against him and slanted her mouth against his, changing the tempo and the rhythm of the kiss. She felt the warm caress of his palm against her face as he brushed her cheek with his hand. His touch more intimate than the kiss. Holding her firmly against him, he tangled his fingers in her hair again, capturing her moan on his tongue.

 Somehow, someway they had moved and now Camille felt the back of her legs touch what she assumed was the side of the couch. As if struggling for control, Sebastian gently pulled away from her. Her eyes were closed. She didn’t want this to end. She needed more of his kisses. They were breathing new life into her. 

 He said her name. It sounded so far away. She shivered when his hands rubbed her arms up and down. She opened her eyes, still unfocused. 

 “God, your lips...” Sebastian literally groaned. 

 “Hmm? What?”

 “So swollen baby.” 

 A small whine left her mouth, but answered. “It’s your fault.”

 “I know and I’m here for it.” Sebastian uttered. “So fucking here for it...” trailing off and kissing her again. 

 Camille thanked the clouds above at how in sync they were. Because just like her, he seemed to not want to rush it, because they knew the moment that happened something would trigger them back to reality. And she didn’t want to go there just yet. So instead he employed a good old fashioned make-out session, no rushing, no groping, just kissing slow and easy, like when they were teenagers and kissing was enough to satisfy. 

 It was almost as they were floating, but they managed to push themselves unto the couch behind them. She relaxed beneath him. 

 “Sebastian…” she whispered against his mouth. Her breathing soft and languid. 

 “Shh…” Sebastian hushed her, as he ran his tongue across her bottom lip again. Camille moaned and he squeezed her waist as if letting her know he enjoyed the sound she made. It was a tiny sigh, a release, a letting go. She realized that’s what she wanted, what they both needed. No reality. Just each other and pleasure, for a short space of time. 

 He shifted slightly, falling back against the plush pillow his arm sliding down and wrapping loosely around her waist and pulling her on top of him. Somehow Camille twisted, and straddled him. He dropped his arm from around her waist, and she threaded her fingers through his, carrying his hands up over his head. Her eyes full of lust. 

 “Why did we wait so long to do this?” He managed to ask with a small smile. 

 “Because we’re stupid, stupid people.” Camille quickly answered, lowering her head to graze her lips against his again. 

 Soft. Slow. Unbearably sweet. 

 “So unbelievably stupid.” Sebastian repeated breaking briefly from her mouth to place a strand of loose hair behind her ear. 

 “So, so stupid.” She reiterated in whisper. Her lips twitched. Closing the gap, she kissed the corner of his mouth, his nose, his cheek, his jaw, then trailed her lips back to his. He closed his eyes as her tongue, warm and wet, tangled with his, explored leisurely. Camille could feel the beating of his heart as her kisses took a hold of something deep. It might have been 5, 10 or even an hour -she wasn’t sure- all she was sure of was how wonderful it was for his mouth and tongue to explore hers. She heard herself moan in pleasure when he moved slightly beneath her.

 “Camille?!”

 Suddenly her eyes flew open at the sound of her name and broke the kiss. It was Natalie. 

 “Who’s car is that parked in the driveway?” Her younger sister called out. “Oh wait! Its Sebastian’s rental isn’t it? I forgot he was coming over!” 

 “Oh my god!” She hissed, rolling off him as fast as she could. 

 “Camille,” Sebastian started with laugh, pushing himself up in sitting position. 

 “If she catches us, we will never hear the end of it.” Camille explained, stumbling to stand up. Reality settling back in. But before she could say or stand, she found herself tripping literally on her own feet, coming back down, thankfully the couch cushions broke her fall. 

 “Holy shit! Are you okay?” Sebastian exclaimed, quickly standing up and reaching down his hand for her to grab. 

 With one elbow resting on the cushion, Camille looked up at him, and burst into a fit of giggles at how silly she probably looked. “Yes.” She answered him, tossing her head back and cackled at herself. “Stupid couch got in my way.” Taking the hand he offered, still giggling. Sebastian snorted back his laugh as well. 

 “What the hell? What are you doing on the floor?” Natalie demanded.

 Sebastian used his strength and pulled her up to her feet. They locked eyes and they only brought another fit of giggles from the both of them. Only this would happen to her.  

 “Camille decided to make out with the couch.” Sebastian answered after his laughter subsided. 

 Her jaw dropped at his response, letting go of his hand. She scowled. Sebastian only smirked back. 

 “Did you trip on your own two feet?” Natalie guessed. 

 “Noooo.” Camille responded annoyingly.

 At the same time her sister made her way toward Sebastian. She leaned in and pecked him on the cheek as a hello. In the past few months, Natalie, along with Samantha had grown to care for Sebastian and consider him their friend as well. 

 Natalie sat down on the couch they had just finished making out on, leaning back against the cushion to slip off her shoes. She glanced around the room and looked back at her older sister with a judgmental eye. “No wonder you were on the ground, you’ve been drinking wine.”  

 By this time Sebastian had sat back down next to Natalie, while Camille found herself on the opposite couch across from them. 

 “I wasn’t drinking it alone.” Looking pointedly at Sebastian. 

 “Hey, I wasn’t the one in eye level with cushions.” 

 Camille made a mocking face in his direction and Sebastian only smiled innocently back. She narrowed her eyes, but didn’t respond. She knew he was just acting like a little shit to see what kind of reaction she would have.

 Hmmph. Just because he’s a good kisser doesn’t mean he still isn’t a little asshole. She thought to herself.

 Holy shit.

 She made out with Sebastian Stan. After all most 10 plus months of them flirting/teasing back and forth, they finally shared a kiss. Or lots of kisses if you wanted to get technical about it. They fully made out. Holy shit. Of course it had been better than she expected. She must have been so lost in thought because she when blinked back to the present, she found Sebastian eyeing her from the corner of his eye while half paying attention to Natalie talking animatedly.

 Camille looked past him, her eyes widening at the realization that the script and book were on the floor next to Sebastian. She didn’t remember doing that. Natalie was so enthralled in telling Sebastian all about the wedding that she didn’t notice when Camille got up to pick up the book and script. But Sebastian did and gave her a look that clearly asked: what are you doing?  Tossing the books gently to the ottoman behind her, Camille locked eyes with him. She couldn’t help but get the butterflies in her stomach at the sight of him. Why did he have to be so handsome? And sexy. Fuck. He wasn’t even trying.

 “Alright you two-what the hell is going on?” Camille heard Natalie asked suspiciously.

 Breaking their gaze, they looked back her younger sister, who was eyeing at them as if they were criminals.

 Sebastian sighed loudly, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. “Fine, you caught us.” If looks could kill he would be dead right now. But Sebastian wasn’t looking at her, instead he put his attention on Natalie. “I was trying to get Camille’s help in what to get you and Sam as a wedding present. And I didn’t want her to tell you, because you two are my friends now and I didn’t want you all to think I wasn’t trying…” he trailed off.

 By then Camille had miraculously planted herself back on the other end of the couch and just listened. Okay, so maybe he wasn’t dead just yet.  

 “You don’t have to get us anything. And I thought it had something to do with Cam and her trip.” Natalie responded accepting Sebastian’s story. 

 Camille purses her lips together at Natalie’s statement.  

 Natalie continued. “But you’re still coming right?”

 “Yes, of course.” He answered with a nod and at the same trying to catch Camille’s gaze. 

 “Okay, good.” She said with a relieved smile. “Are you bringing a plus one?” 

 “I thought he was going to be my plus one?” Camille interjected.

 “Well I wasn’t sure since you said Liz had asked if you could leave sooner. Like the day of the wedding. So I just wanted to make sure-.”

 Camille watched Sebastian softly place one hand over Natalie’s. “Breath sweetheart.” He ordered with a smile. 

 Camille’s heart warmed up at his sweet gesture.

 Doing what Sebastian asked, Natalie sucked in a large breath and let it out before mumbling. “Sorry.”

 “Nat, esta bien.” Camille reassured in Spanish. “I think its okay to feel this way right before your wedding. In fact I would be worried if you didn’t.” Blindly reaching for the plush pillow behind her and bringing it up to her chest. “Don’t worry, I talked to Liz, we were able to rearrange the schedule. I leave 2 days after the wedding. I wouldn’t miss this for the world.” 

 Camille could feel Sebastian’s gaze on her. “Two days after the wedding?” He repeated.

 “You didn’t tell him?” 

 Camille gritted her teeth. “I haven’t had the chance...” 

 Which was the truth. She had planned on sharing the piece of information with him, but then they started eating and talking and kissing, that she got distracted and forgot.  

 “What happened to the end of the month?” Sebastian asked with a wrinkle of his nose. 

 Natalie snorted, Camille glowered back at her sister. “What?” She said innocently.

 “Liz just told me about it 2 days ago.” She explained. Unsure of what else to say.  

 “Hence why I was freaking out.” Natalie added with a small frown. 

 “I was going to tell you.” Camille added quickly. “But then we started eating and talking and -.” Then stopped herself. 

 “I know.” Sebastian answered with a knowing smile. “The life of this business. It’s okay dragoste.”  Sebastian stated with a sly smile, licking his bottom lip in the process.

 Camille suppressed the whimper from her lips at his action. 

 Ten months. That’s how long she was going to be gone for her next job. Ten months in New Zealand. Two months ago, the idea of this trip sounded like a dream. And now? It sounded like the worst idea ever.  

 Whoa. 

 She needed to calm down. It had just been a few kisses. Nothing more. 

 Camille watched them from the corner of her eye as they continued talking. How was he so calm? Because her mind just kept replaying what happened on that couch. The way he smelled and felt. The feel of his tongue tracing the inside of her mouth. 

 Maybe it wasn’t a big deal for him. A kiss was just a kiss. Right? If that was the case then why were her lips still tingling? Why did she have the urge to do it again? 

 “Cam? Camille?” 

 She blinked out of her fantasy and found Sebastian and Natalie on their feet. “Yeah?” Camille asked, pretending she hadn’t just gazed off.  

 “Sebastian said he has to get going.” 

 “You do?” She asked stupidly. 

 “It’s almost midnight.” Natalie answered. “And he has to be at the airport at 430 in the morning.” 

 Shit was it really that late already? The night felt like it had just gotten started. “You really need to start getting later flights.” Camille blurted out jokingly, pushing the dream of kissing him out of her thoughts. 

 “I’ll make sure to bring that up to Emily.” Sebastian said before giving Natalie a warm hug. 

 “I’ll see you in a few weeks.” Natalie stated, letting go of him in the process.  

 Camille nervously rubbed both of her arms. “I’ll walk you out.” Standing up, heartbeat speeding up at the realization they were going to be alone again. 

 “Okay.” Sebastian answered with a smile before saying goodbye to Natalie one more time. 

 Camille led the way, taking them through the garage. She was so lost in her own thoughts she didn’t realize the garage door was open, until she tried to push the opener. “Oh geez Camille.” She uttered to herself, walking toward Sebastian’s rental. Not sure of what to do next, she halted by the passenger door and turned to him, a slight shiver running through her when the cold breeze hit her body. He was looking at her with amusement. Her cheeks felt hot now. “What?” she snapped, shifting from one foot to the other.

 Smirking, Sebastian took a step closer. “Anyone ever tell you how cute you are when you’re nervous?”

 Camille tilted her head to one side with a raised eyebrow, pretending his closeness did not affect her in any way. What was supposed to be their next step in all of this? Was there a next step? All this time she had been so focused on what it would be like to be in his arms that she hadn’t thought about the ‘what next’? Had he?

 She jumped a bit when she felt a drop of water on her forehead. She felt it again. She shouldn’t be surprised. It was February in California after all. It had been raining most of the week. Gazing up to the dark sky she said. “You should probably get going before it really starts to come down.”

 But Sebastian had other thoughts, he pressed against her, her body trapped against the passenger door. “We haven’t said bye yet.” He reminded in a low voice.

 Camille swallowed the lump before looking up at him through her lashes. “We haven’t?”

 “No.”

 But before either one could speak up, more drops of water began to hit them. Sebastian swiftly opened the passenger door, gesturing for her to get in. Camille wasn’t sure of what do to, but found herself sliding into the car and watched him run to the driver’s side. The moment he shut the door, the rain really started to come down.

 They locked eyes before laughing. “That was close.” Camille observed, leaning back.

 “So what’s the plan after the wedding now that you have to leave early?” Sebastian asked, his head pressed against the seat, but eyes on her.

 “I’m not sure yet.” She confessed looking straight ahead and playing with her necklace around her neck. In fact she hadn’t taken the pendant off since he had given it to her back in October. He only nodded. Camille quickly turned her attention to him. “I was going to tell you.” She repeated. “But I’m also still trying to digest it.” She finished with a small shrug.  

 “That’s a long time to be gone.” He agreed.  

 “Hmm, yeah.” Was all Camille’s mouth could say, eyes shut.

 “You nervous?” 

 “I am that transparent?” She asked with a short laugh, opening her eyes to find Sebastian’s eyes lingering down to her lips. She fought the urge to lean in and kiss him.  

 He moved his gaze away from her mouth, and back to her eyes. Her heart started to pound faster, harder, when he leaned over the console. “I just know you better than you think.” He said with a light smirk, cupping her cheek with one hand.  “And I also know you’ve probably obsessed about it, wondering if you’re going to do a good job...” 

 Camille’s gaze never wavered as he spoke. He was right. She was ridiculously nervous about this job. This was her first job without Liz as her safety net. Meaning she was going to be in charge of the other makeup artist /crew that were coming with her on this long job. 

 “The answer is yes Camille. You’re going to do an awesome job. You’re going to kick ass.” He finished with a warm smile.  

 “Thanks for the boost of confidence.” Returning the smile.  

 “Always dragoste.” Sebastian responded with a wink.  

 She closed her eyes and turned her nose and mouth toward his hand. She heard him clear his throat. “But I don’t want to talk about that anymore.” Pressing her lips into the moist hollow of his hand. 

 “O-oh no?” 

 “No.” Her voice was hoarse, quiet. Intense. 

 “Then what do you want to talk about?” He licked his lips and dropped his hand. She didn’t want him to stay away any longer. She needed to feel his lips against hers. 

 “About-about...” She stammered opening her eye as Sebastian closed in on her, his nose inches from hers, his mouth a hairbreadth away. She heard him suck in his breath in anticipation. 

 “About what baby?” he asked but kissed the corner of her mouth, in such a light teasing touched that she shivered. He stared hard, and Camille became overwhelmed with feelings she couldn’t begin to explain. All she knew was that she needed to have him near, needed him to kiss her, hold her, touch her. His lips hovered above hers, his nose alongside hers.  

“I wasn’t sure if you wanted to-.”  “Kiss you?” he answered without another second thought he kissed her, a honest to goodness, lips everywhere, tongue-teasing kiss. A sigh escaped from her. She dipped her head back and opened her mouth as she let Sebastian marveled at the taste and texture of her, so soft, so wet. 

 “Mmmm.” she murmured when his lips moved to her jaw, her neck. But he cut off her moan with another kiss that left her clinging to him like a lifesaver. 

 “Kissing you again was all I could think of doing when we were in there.” He almost growled against her mouth.

 Camille could hear the excited little rush of both their breaths, the pants, the moans, the shift from casual exploration to urgent questing. 

 “Really?” She whined, her heart feeling lighter at his confession. 

 “God yes, baby.” His lips sliding back down to  the hollow of her neck. Camille felt the goose bumps all the way down to her toes. She felt his warm lips suck gently on her skin and she groaned loudly. Thankful they were confined in the car and no one could hear them. “Fuck.” He said in a hot whisper. 

 They were close, but not close enough, she wanted to reach out and touch all of him. Even though her thoughts were consumed with the touch of his mouth Camille seemed to once again pick up on his thoughts as he bit gently on her neck, because she crawled over the console and into his lap, her knees sunk into the leather on either side his hips, and gasped softly when she felt the hard and strained at the fly of his jeans. 

 He brought his hands up and cupped her face between them, his lips back on hers. Sebastian pushed his tongue between her lips again and met the wet heat of her mouth as she sighed with pleasure.

 “You could’ve fooled me.” Camille murmured against his mouth. 

 He broke from her lips and dropped one hand, as the other stroked one side of her cheek with the knuckles. Sebastian chuckled lightly and pressed his forehead to hers. “Oh yeah?” 

 “Yeah.” Camille breathed, shifting a bit in his lap. She heard a grunt leave his lips. A small smile tugged on her lips when it registered she was sitting on Sebastian’s lap. She wasn’t sure it how it happened. But it just felt good to do. 

 “What’s the smirk for?” 

 “Nothing...it just hit me that I’m sitting on your lap and...” she confessed with a humorous laugh.  

 “Were making out?” He supplied with his own smirk.  

 She nodded. “Y-yess.” She moaned in response. His lips latched back on to the hollow of her neck and Camille wrapped her arms around his neck, as his hands slid up her back, making her whole body shiver. She could not even begin to describe how glorious this felt. He made her feel wanted. And she hadn’t felt that way in a very long time. She tossed her head back as his lips continued to torture her neck. 

 “Mmmm, is this your sweet spot?” Sebastian mused against her skin. Camille shifted once again and an almost like growl left his lips. 

 “Maybe...” Camille answered as coyly as possible, but it was hard to think straight at the moment. The bastard had found her spot.  

 He broke from her neck and lifted his head, a satisfied look in his eyes. “You know, you can be a real brat when you want.” 

 She playfully glared down at him through her lashes. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I didn’t-.”

 “Camille?” 

 “What?” She snapped, her fingers caressing the back of his neck. 

 “Shut up, so I can continue kissing you.” Sebastian ordered. And before she could say anything else he did just that, hard. She felt him smile against her lips when he heard her cry out in pleasure. She didn’t argue with him, instead let his lips do the talking. 

 After a few minutes, Sebastian broke their kiss and said. “I should probably get going.” But his hands roamed up and down her spine.

 “Mmmkay.” Was Camille’s only response as she nipped at his lower lip. 

 He groaned. “Jesus, Camille you aren’t making this easy for me.” 

 “I’m sorry.” 

 He laughed. “We both know you aren’t.” Squeezing her waist before pulling her closer to him.  

 “You’re right, I’m not.” She said with a giggle. 

 “Come here.” he instructed softly, and covered her mouth with his again, one hand tugging behind her neck. He licked at her lips and teased his tongue into her until they both moaned in pleasure. Camille could not remember the last time she had a good full blown make out session. She forgotten how nice it was to just kiss someone.  

 “Didn’t you just say you had to leave?” She asked between kisses. He responded with a grunt. A grunt that turned into a low moan when Camille massaged his scalp leisurely.

 “I’m trying.” Sebastian said with a laugh, his large hands still caressed her back. “But this is so much more fun.” His lips trailing down her jaw. 

 Camille moaned response for what felt the hundredth time. For the next few minutes their mouths continued to explore each other. A small whine left her mouth when Sebastian ran his fingers through her curls. Camille was so engrossed in the moment she had managed to push aside away all the sounds surrounding them. But she quickly opened her eyes when she heard a loud slam outside of the car. She broke from his lips. “What was that?” She hissed.  

 “It was just a car door closing.” Sebastian answered, pushing her hair to one side of her neck. 

 “Are you sure?” 

 “Yes.” Sebastian said with a chuckle before pressing a light kiss behind her ear. He nuzzled his nose into the hollow of her neck. She heard him grumble when he inhaled her scent. “God, you smell so good.”    

 Camille didn’t know how to answer that. Instead she ran her fingers up and down his shoulders and arms and smiled warmly down at him. “As much as I want to continue this, you should get going.” She managed to say. “Don’t want you to over sleep.” 

 Sebastian glared up at her. “It happened one time!” He protested, but continued to stroke her back.  

 She stifled her giggles, burying her face into his neck. She was referring to back in December when he missed his flight home because he overslept. He had to be on standby until a flight opened up. Camille gasped in surprise, lifting her head up when she felt his fingers start to tickle her sides. “Sebastian!” She said through fits of laughter. “Stop!” 

 “That’s what you get for making fun of me.” 

 She dropped her arms from around his neck and shoulders and grasped his hands in each of hers. “Okay, okay! Stop!” She pleaded. “You know I don’t like being tickled.” 

 Sebastian stopped long enough to tangle his fingers with hers and bringing her knuckles up to his mouth. “I need to go.” He stated kissing her knuckles softly. 

 “You’ve been saying that for the past 10 minutes.” Camille reminded with a teasing smile.  

 “I know.” 

 She knew there was no more staling. He had to go. He needed to get some sleep before his flight. She had the urge to tell him to stay with her, but then she remembered her sister was there. Instead she leaned in and brushed her lips softly against his. “Start the car.” She ordered as sternly as possible. She could get use to kissing him like this all the time. 

 “I’ll see you a few weeks?” He asked, placing a strand of lose hair behind her ear. Camille only nodded. “I’m still your plus one right?” 

 “Yes. You can’t back out.” She ordered with a pretend scowl before pushing the door open. “You’re my scapegoat when Mi Tias start asking why I haven’t set a wedding date.” 

 “I’m glad I can help.” Sebastian said sarcastically. Camille was about to shift herself off his lap when he wrapped one arm around her waist. “Wait.” He started.  

 “What is it-.” But stopped talking when his lips touched hers again. She literally felt like she was melting against him. 

 After a few moments, Sebastian broke the kiss, a huge grin on his face. “Just one more for the road.” 

 Pretending it didn’t phase her, Camille slid off his lap, feet hitting the pavement. The grin he had a few moments ago disappeared and it was replaced with a frown when she shut the door with him still in the car. He turned the engine on and rolled down the window. 

 “Don’t pout at me.” Camille instructed, trying her best to keep her emotions in check. That only made him frown even more. “Stop.” She demanded with a small laugh, resting an elbow on the opened window. He could be such a baby sometimes. Yet, Camille knew it was his way of trying to lighten their goodbye.  

 “I can’t help if my mouth has a mind of its own.” He answered with a wiggle of his eyebrows. Camille rolled her eyes, ready to take a step back, but stopped when he placed one hand over hers. She looked expectantly at him. “Just so you know-if I had it my way....I wouldn’t be leaving right now. Especially after-.” 

 “I know.” Pushing herself on her tiptoes she leaned and pressed a sweet kiss to his cheek as reassurance. Then gathering whatever strength she had, she pulled away from him. “Text me when you land?” He nodded. Camille felt the drops of water again and quickly made her way to the open garage. 

 Sebastian waved before backing out of the driveway. Camille waved back with one hand, while the other touched her mouth. Hoping to keep the feel of his lips on her for as long as she could. She waited a few more moments to head back inside, trying to digest the last few hours. 

 Things were about to change. She was sure of it. How? She had no fucking clue. She must have been so lost in thought, she hadn’t realized she walked back into the house. Regardless of what happened next, Camille felt like she was floating on a fluffy cloud at the moment. 

 “I thought maybe you decided to go with him.” Natalie teased, sitting on a bar stool in the kitchen, eating leftover Thai food.  

 “Huh?” Camille said absently. “No.” 

 “What were you doing? Making out?” 

 At those words, Camille jerked her attention to her younger sister. “You were spying?!”

 Natalie’s jaw dropped and then quickly jumped out of the bar stool. “Oh my god! No! I was just joking! But it finally happened?” She squealed.

 God damn. Her sister was just being a smart ass! Camille opened her mouth to protest, but Natalie was already shaking her head and pointing a finger at her. 

 “Uh uh, don’t even try to deny it. You just spilled on yourself. I want all the details! Can I say it’s about damn time. You two have been playing this game for too long.” 

 Camille met her sister’s gaze, a small smile tugged on her face despite trying to play it cool. She had to share this with someone. And who better than her sister? Besides she needed to try and figure out what all this meant. 

 “Is he a good kisser?”

 Leaning against the stainless steel refrigerator, Camille covered her face with both hands, trying to hide the stupid smile. She shook her head, unsure of what to say. Because she couldn’t put into words what it was like to kiss Sebastian. What she knew was that for the first time in months, she didn’t feel as if there was a dark cloud above her. 

 Natalie squealed again. “Holy shit, that good?”

 Camille moves her hands away from her face, smiling like an idiot at Natalie. Her sister made her way to Camille, grasping her wrist. “I want to know everything. Don’t leave anything out!” Leading her to the living room.

Sources: ‘Picnic’ excerpt written by William Inge, Lyrics: Brandy’s Wildest Dreams

@thewintersadie @mydragulesebastian @its-daydreamer23 @janeyboo @peaceinourtime82 

[daydreaming-scribe]

here u go dumbass xoxo: 6, 7, 13, 17, 19, and 23

Undeniable proof that ftmsam is a bully, folks.

6) If you had to delete one of your stories and never speak of it again, which would it be and why?

Easily  Darkness Surrounds. It’s one of my two unfinished works, a hypothetical finale for the show that I started right before Season 11. It was written when I had just come off of Season 9, and I was so angry at both Dean and Cas at the time that it comes off more as a bashing story than anything else. Also, the idea I have for the Darkness is much less interesting then the storyline the writers gave to Amara. I think about deleting it a lot, mainly because I’ve left a lot of people hanging and am struggling to find a way to write a sequel.

7) When is your preferred time to write?

Midnight, when I’m probably the least productive.

13) Who is your least favourite character to write for? Why?

No clue, really. I’ve never had an intense dislike of writing for one character that I can name. But also a lot of the characters I’ve written for, like Tracy Bell, Jess, Brady, and the Banes, are one-off characters. There’s so little existing voice that I mainly just put in my head canons for them and no one will complain about it being OOC.

17) Post a line from a WIP that you’re working on.

“You’ve probably heard this a thousand times, and you’ll hear it a thousand more,” She says, her dark eyes seeming to pierce the young man’s blue ones. “But what happened, everything, was not your fault, Tyson.” 

19) Are there any stories that you’ve written that you’d really love to do a sequel to?

I just recently added another story into my Magical Maneaters AU (and I absolutely refuse to call it anything but this, because Rowena and Max are definitely turning Sam into a Maneater and a lady-killer) and I definitely might consider writing a longer story for them, because apparently it’s just me and a single smut blog exploiting this very valuable real estate. Most of my recent works are stand-alones, but I wouldn’t mind getting back to either of my Sammaxes, because I will go down with this ship. A sequel to Kiss it, Make it Better would probably be more angsty and detail Max’s road to recovering from his grief, whereas the sequel to  No One Puts Baby in a Corner would be a much fluffier story to write.

23) Do you prefer listening to music when you’re writing or do you need silence?

Absolute silence. I get too into the music and it distracts me from writing. I wish it wasn’t the case, but even with classical music I try and break the parts down. 

[niklii]

A to Z meme tag

rules: answer the questions in a new post and tag 10 blogs you would like to get to know better.

@minikvelp tagged me for this and I am honored. <3 

A - Age: 23 (took me a second to remember...)

B - Birth place: Redwood City, California (Shout out to you, Ainsley, I didn’t realize you were born in CA too!) 

C - Current time: 8:46 am (yes I should be doing real work here at the office)

D - Drink you last had: water bb.. water for days. If you don’t count water then I had some blue frost gatorade last night. B-) 

E - Easiest person to talk to: Woky, my cancer sunshine baby. :’) she doesn’t have tumblr though. 

F - Favorite song: yikes.. *checks my journal* just gonna go with “Amor Fati” by Washed Out still. That song gets me happy and emotional and nostalgic and wanting to dance. 

G - Grossest Memory: Probably when I got the worst stomach bug from Andrew (he thought it was food poisoning) and.. it was just gross. 

H - Horror yes or horror no: Just a little towards yes but not full yes. 

I - In love?: Long-term commitment love! 

J -Jealous of people?: Less so these days (more so when I was in school and bitter about other people’s money and talents). But still sometimes yes.. Social media is a problem. Also body image :( 

L - Love at first sight or should I walk by again?: um no

M - Middle name: Ariana

N - Number of siblings: 1 (22)

O - One wish: that andrew’s career pans out in the next year or two! and that we can afford a wedding in a few years. and buy a new car. they are all tied together somehow. :S 

P - Person you last called: Mason to help him with an IT problem.

Q - Question you are always asked: What do you do for work? It takes me forever to explain and I always laugh awkwardly. I recently met someone who said they were a “product specialist” and maybe that’s the best way for me to explain in the future! 

R - Reason to smile: When my friends make me laugh. 

S - Song you last sang: lol I was just singing something in the bathroom but I forgot what it was.. Warpaint maybe. I have a song of theirs stuck in my head. 

T - Time you woke up: 6:45 cos of my alarm but we were NOT happy about it.. 

U - Underwear color: white.. already got a lil blood on it tho. damn! I never wear white. 

V - Vacation destination: I want to go to Iceland or Hawaii with Andrew (he’s never left the country!!) but we can’t afford it. So we are going camping in Oregon in May, and then I might go to Vegas with my high school buddies next year, and in 2020 my family is going to France! That’s quite a lot lined up. 

W - Worst habits: overeating (not that badly; but i love food so much and always finish my plate), picking my nose (i need to stop doing it at work), being lazy and not exercising. also spending money on 2 freemium apps.. pokemon and animal crossing. oops. and going on my phone too much and pissing andrew off. 

X - Xrays: um yes ? The general ones. 

Y - Your favorite food: pasta!!!!! and ice cream. and pizza. :) 

Z - Zodiac sign: Taurus sun, Capricorn rising, Scorpio moon

Tagging @augmentedampharos @brainshock-alpha @thoughtsofanantiquechinadoll @lightning-babe @eternal-flame-babby @w3rewolf-th3rewolf @stevebusexme @elflady @tarp-l @darkfire454 and anyone else who wants to do it!! Wow I know all 10 of you from places that aren’t Tumblr (mostly in real life.. just one of you from the internet! you know who you are). xoxo 

[josefranconline]

SELF-CARE TECHNIQUES ft. Grace Helbig help therapy psychology recovery self improvement health

Order my book today! ARE U OK? http://geni.us/sva4iUY Today Grace Helbig and I talk about taking mental health days. Grace works very hard and travels a lot! We talked about some of the things that help her recharge and relax so that she can keep doing the things she loves.

We talk about amateur crafting, turning our brains off and watching terrible reality television, and stepping out of our comfort zones. I honestly think trying one or all is great as we all have to find ways to care for ourselves and recharge ourselves so we can keep doing what we do. xoxo

WEBSITE http://www.katimorton.com TWITTER http://www.twitter.com/katimorton FACEBOOK http://www.facebook.com/katimorton1 TUMBLR http://www.katimorton.tumblr.com PINTEREST http://www.pinterest.com/katimorton1

HELP! SUBTITLE VIDEOS http://goo.gl/OZOQXi WE NEED YOUR HELP!

Subtitle videos if you know English or any other languages! You can help people who are either hearing impaired or non native English speaking. By doing this, you are helping others and strengthening our community.

MY FREE WORKBOOKS Easy to follow at home workbooks for your mental health Self-Harm workbook http://goo.gl/N7LtwU Eating Disorder workbook http://goo.gl/DjOmkC LGTBQ workbook http://goo.gl/WG8jcZ

KATIFAQ VIDEOS Wondering if I have answered a question like yours? Search for it here: http://goo.gl/1ECSlO

MY VIDEO SCHEDULE Monday – New mental health topic video Thursday -q&a’s, guests, mental health in the news, etc

SENDING KATI STUFF PO Box 1223 Wilshire Blvd. #665 Santa Monica, CA 90403

BUSINESS INQUIRIES info@katimorton.com

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****PLEASE READ**** If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call a local emergency telephone number or go immediately to the nearest emergency room.

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BIG THANK YOU to my Patreon Patrons! Without you, I couldn’t keep creating videos. xoxo https://www.patreon.com/katimorton

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I’m Kati Morton, a licensed therapist making Mental Health videos – Depression, Eating Disorders, Anxiety, Self-Harm and more! Mental health shouldn’t have a stigma attached to it. You’re worth the fight!

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Business email: linnea@toneymedia.com

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SENDING KATI STUFF PO Box 1223 Wilshire Blvd. #665 Santa Monica, CA 90403

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HELP! SUBTITLE VIDEOS

http://goo.gl/OZOQXi

Subtitle videos if you know English or any other languages! You can help people who are either hearing impaired or non native English speaking. By doing this, you are helping others and strengthening our community.

—————————————————————————————————————-

MY FREE WORKBOOKS Easy to follow at home workbooks for your mental health….

Self-Harm workbook http://goo.gl/N7LtwU

Eating Disorder workbook http://goo.gl/DjOmkC

LGTBQ workbook http://goo.gl/WG8jcZ

—————————————————————————————————————-

KATIFAQ VIDEOS Wondering if I have answered a question like yours?

Search for it here: http://goo.gl/1ECSlO

Help us caption & translate this video!

http://amara.org/v/72H3/ ****PLEASE READ**** If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call a local emergency telephone number or go immediately to the nearest emergency room.

[abandonedbyheaven]

All Hail the New God||Not Enough {part 1-3}

Below the cut is part 1-3 of the drabble written for AHTNG.  Anonymous requested it; and again, I am reallllly sorry i can’t give you more from the original story. I’ll work on getting another megodstiel thing going soon; xoxo, D.

She was a bad choice. Meg was many things, but she was not meant to be a consort to God. Who was she to stand with a man fighting for the righteous, when she was a tainted soul herself? God, or the previous, taught his children that she and her kind were wrong. While angels were light and grace, demons were smoke and oppression. They didn’t take honesty or consent, while angels prided themselves with the inability to lie to their hosts. Speaking of, hosts of angels came down to bloodline. Hosts of demons came down to poor timing and bad decision.

Meg wasn’t meant for this. She was meant to ruin what she touched, cause pain, and well, be killed off, only to be replaced by another tainted soul. She wasn’t meant to be remembered. The demon was a small speck of the big, black cloud that made up Hell. When one piece falls, another is already there to take it’s place. That’s just how things were. She, admittedly, survived the longest of the many demons she’d known, and still she knew her cunning didn’t detract from the fact she was never meant to live the life he’d imagined for her.

It was true, Meg was smart. She’d bested many higher-ups in her time, but that didn’t make her qualified for the job he’d bestowed on her. All-Mother? She would never be anything of the sort. Meg wasn’t even Meg, she’d adopted the name from her previous host. This body was named Kayleigh, a name far too innocent for the creature inhabiting it. Meg seemed better suited to her. They knew who she was and there was still a slight wave of fear downstairs associated with her. And that was good, she supposed, looking at the situation optimistically. Ugh, the idea of being positive sent rolls of discontent down her spine.

She’d learned his rules early on. She was the, cringe worthy as position was, submissive in the bonding he’d convinced her to take part in. Subpar. Submissive’s were to listen to no one but their dominant, and that was hard. The demon practically flourished in rebellion, yet for him she was willing. Was he her weakness? Was he the reason she fell so easily when being bonded? Who was to know. She did know leaving without him wasn’t a good idea. While he was God, he was also well known in the hunter community. It was nature for a consort of God to be known in the church. That meant hunters also knew he’d taken Meg as his half, and she’d be enemy number one. After all, hurting a submissive half hurts the dominant.

She knew she would never have a want if she asked, and that was true enough. Castiel provided well for her, having put her in a lavish estate somewhere between the realm of heaven and earth. She was safe, but this wasn’t meant for her. What she wanted he would never give, and she would never ask. He meant too much to her. If she left, she would cause a comatose state to him until she returned. If she was injured, or worse, killed in her flee, he would be just as powerless as she.

Meg didn’t want that.

She wanted him to succeed.

She wanted to give him all of his desires.

She didn’t want to let him down.

But most of all, Meg wanted to be free. She was no Daphne or Amelia. Both women would’ve made much better consorts to the new god, and they would’ve been stronger all-mothers. They’d possibly be more respected than the demon whore he’d chosen. As much as she desired to leave, she would never let him fail.

Padding barefoot into the bedroom that he’d only put in for her comfort, Meg crawled into the California king, burrowing under the blanket; his shirt wrapped around her frame for a small sense of comfort. She never minded heat much. With a deep sigh, she shut her eyes, imagining every way he’d be better W I T H O U T  H E R.

He’d went about doing it again; making her feel wanted. Castiel was good at that. She’d ran from him. Their game of cat and mouse lasted little more than a day, and he’d given her cause to feel, yet she couldn’t bring herself to talk about it. Meg couldn’t tell him where she’d been, or what she’d done. She knew now that the safest place for her, if not by his side, was in his house. When the fuck did she become so damn domesticated?

She hardly had time to put her feet on the floor before her thoughts got the better of her. She was tainted; a dark spot that God was attempting to fix for the good of-. The good of what? It was a simple question, really it was. Jesus healed a whore in the name of his Father. What did Cas do? The smug bastard healed a demonic whore. Though the saying still remains, does it not?

Once a whore, always a whore, Meg. A whore is a whore is a whore, Meg. 

What redemption did she even deserve? He was God.

But what was she? What was her worth in the new world- his world? Their world. The obvious answers were simple. She was all-mother. She was consort. What was she beyond that? Did it matter? Clearly it mattered to him. He wouldn’t have dropped his whole fold to play her game. What a childish game it was. She was frayed. That was all she could manage to think of; frayed. Meg realized she was in their kitchen before she continued that train of thought. It’s best to keep your head clear when tied to a deity. He always knew. He was always there to make her feel; to make her C A R E.

Fingers burn as they drag across her skin. H O M E. He’s home. She’d have known the second he walked through the door if she had the strength to open her mind to him. She won’t though. she’s too weak for that. Binding the souls in him took more from her than she’d admit allowed. 

“Without you by my side I would virtually be nothing more than one of my brothers.”

The memory has replayed in her mind over and over again. This is a power trip. He needs her and it’s clear. She’s pacing their bedroom like a caged animal. And that’s exactly what she is, isn’t it? His All-Mother. His caged bird. His power.

out. o u t. O U T. 

She needs out; her freedom. She needs distance and a clear head. Meg never asked to be his power. She never wanted it all to come to this. How can she hide, the one thing she does best, with an even bigger target on her back? On his? 

On and on the torment plays in her mind, new status warring with the dark base of her being. She couldn’t stay in this extended existence with him; she couldn’t leave him. What option did that leave her? In his own twisted way, he loved her. He trusted her above all else. That wasn’t enough to negate the feeling of a downward spiral. 

Her back slides down the far wall, eyes glued to the blood left from the undevout and werewolf. Throwing the lamp perched on the edge of the bedside table, Meg screams. Pain. This change was painful; the breaking of her frayed mentality hurts worse. 

She knows what she should do, being faced with only one option to save herself; and save him from himself. Meg crawls across the room, palms cutting with each slide forward. Yanking her phone from it’s charger, she dials the only person who can possibly fix all of this; fix him.

Her finger hovers over the call button. If she doesn’t die from the separation, she sure as hell will when the bond between deity and half breaks and he comes for her. She has to have faith; faith that she’s doing what’s best for him. Meg hits call.

‘This is Dean’s other-other cell. Leave a message.’

“Winchester. Power him down. He’s gone too far. I can’t-’ a pause and tremble in her voice creeps up, ‘stop him, Dean, before I can’t help you do it.’

Throwing the phone onto the bed, the demon stands, hissing as more glass embeds itself into the flesh of her feet. She won’t do this without opening her mind to him; business as usual and all that.

Breaking her mental block from Castiel, Meg forces her thoughts to clear and leaving him no trail to what was to come. 

And for the first time since before she sold her soul, Meg prays.

‘Castiel, I want you to listen to me. I can’t. I tried, for you and I have to stop this somehow. I’m so sorry. Forgive me one day. I won’t be here when you come home.’ A-fuckin-men to that.

She’s on her feet, leaving bloody footprints before she can change her own mind. 

He’d come; she didn’t want to be in his line of fire when he did. For her? He would A L W A Y S come.