#here take my soul ok-
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ive literally never interacted with the rats smp ever besides like once
but ren and martyn exist. and a lot of my other favorite creators. so we're going headfirst into rat yaoi. raoi, if you will. ratataoi?? ratatouille yaoi? ...ill work on it
#i also am one of the poor souls who misread ren's specialty as snuggling. sigh... dreamers continue to be dreamers#rats smp#mcyt#art#digital art#my art#rendog#renthedog#martyn inthelittlewood#martyn itlw#martyn fanart#is there a duo name for this. like.#rentyn#that sounds like renting thats kinda funny... cuz theyre.. theyre in a hotel.... yeah ok#okay how about this one#treebark#is that it. is that their duo name. is that a trafficblr only one i dont know how mcyt works despite being here for the majority of my life#hello#whatever we continue on with regular boring tags because wooahhh exposure woahh guys pay me in exposure (dont)#i formally apologize if you are really taking time out of your day to read these tags. you will not be receiving compensation#rats smp fanart#rats smp season 2#rats smp 2#rats in paris#ratshipping#i guess#yeah#yeah i can't deny it im sorry for trying#did you know this is the end of the tags#truly it is
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Understandably So no one mentions charles when talking about the Logan movie and again Understandably So This Aint Bout Him however i do confess that as someone who had never seen Logan until like. a month ago when i was binging all the movies and without knowing a single thing about it aside from laura i cant lie i was in fact jumpscared by him being there. especially for at least like 3/4s of the movie
#xmen#logan movie#snap chats#i be ramblin today hello ...#it was a pleasant jumpscare. yk until he died. after realizing he committed atrocities by accident 😭😭💀 OLD MAN NOOO#but no please LIKE I READ THE DESCRIPTION WHEN GOING TO WATCH RIGHT#AND I WAS JUST THINKING 'oh he'll probably be here for like twenty minutes. wdym he's here for way longer than that'#i THINK years ago i REMEMBER seeing a screenshot of the hotel bit with laura and charles but again that was years ago#and i might be tricking myself maybe its a false memory jealvvelka either way i just know they were cute :(#point is he was here for. i cant even say So Little cause again He Was Here For An Hour And Thirty Minutes Out Of Two Hours#and lets be clear 'snap has your brain molded that much you know exactly how much screen time charles gets in the movies'#girl no not yet i only know exactly when he punches his clock cause i had to keep restarting the movie cause it kept pausing vjAELKAJE#and it just so happened to struggle literally like. ten minutes after he dies- like when logan was dealing with x24 THAT part#so rude for that.. anyway I Repeat i miss charles and laura bein cute :(#it wasnt a lot but it was just sweet.. i always like how charles always got that Professor in his soul with these movies#like in dofp when logan's losing it after. getting future ptsd jvALKVLAJ??K charles is there to ground him#despite being. Like That vjeaLKj like sir please ily. i will accept the Youre On Acid answer youre trying your best#and then with THIS movie evidently charles is having. the worst time upstairs#but he's still super sweet with laura like oh stop you grandpa im gonna throw up#and to STRESS. they were EVIL about that wholesome dinner bit like :((( oh to see the fam happy and safe again :(((#like im throwing up frankly. people were right this movie IS sad i underestimated their assessment 😭#to lighten the mood in my heart. charles really do be an old man in this movie hes such a menace to logan JELKAK#god. Most Normal X-Men Movie Watcher Focuses On Professor X During The Movie About Logan VEJLKJA#ok im done. sorry i just keep replayin that bit in my head where theyre in the car and logans just 'Did You Take Your Meds SHOW'#like pelase. jaeRLKEaj ok im gonna try drawing i looked at my wall long enough and i think i can draw something
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liam doesn’t remember theo helping hold him back from nolan. he doesn’t remember theo repeatedly keeping him from doing something he’d regret. he doesn’t remember theo carrying him to the truck and placing him in the passenger seat. he doesn’t remember theo wiping the blood from his knuckles before starting to drive. all he remembers is waking up to theo smiling at him softer than he ever has before and doing his best to offer him comfort.
#wish i was normal an them but here we are#do yk how hard it had to have been for THEO RAEKEN to figure out how to be nice/kind without having it come off as a manipulation tactic#like 😭#the tone he takes at the zoo while asking if liam is ok and the genuine concern when he tries to offer explanations so liam wont have to#when ur trying to bare ur souls to one another but still cant admit you no longer hate each others guts#triggers car scene will remain in my mind forever like there are many layers here guys#thiam#theo raeken/liam dunbar#theo raeken x liam dunbar#theo/liam#theo x liam#6.16 triggers#teen wolf
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Local owlbear, what she gonna explodee✨
#neopets#neoart#vandagyre#not technically an oc but it is an original design i guess lol#Same with the ogrin I'm starting to open my eyes to these fellas#i used to hate them but i think its just the neo designs lol#Also this technically was a practice to see if I ended up making one of my real OCs into one#but i just settled into a classic eyrie#and i wanted to finish this sketch cause i really liked the pose lmfaoo#I don't.... think I'll be using this for anything??? just wanted to draw an alquemist vanda for my scrungly soul#anyways it takes me stupidly long to finish drawings maybe i should stick to some doodles here and there#vin doods#forgot the tag woops#also stole the green colors from mneo as well cause they're easier on my eyes and the drawing LMFAOO#i want to thank all the likes and reblogs once again though!! it's so heartwarming whenever I open this site i see some notifs :D#i am working on my characters lore but oh god please take the keyboard away from me i write so fuckin much HHHH#ok too much rambling you can stop reading my thoughts now haha
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@underude is playing SM2 again and i ... we don't talk about the tunnel enough on this page and this is my commitment to because 🫠🫠🫠 mj spent ALL NIGHT chasing peter in the rain to make sure he was okay, knocking out kraven's heavily armed henchmen as she went, while INSISTING to miles that they had nothing to worry about once they caught him because she could get through to peter. and then she couldn't. the genuine fucking TERROR in her voice as she runs for her life from the man she loves ??? a terror that peter wakes up and DOESN'T REMEMBER CAUSING ??? he fucking strolls off down the street like ain't shit going on ??? and the next time mj sees him she FREEZES and then grabs her fucking weapon the second he raises his voice ??? yeah. there's a lot to UNPACK here
#just. give laura all her flowers what the fuck the voice acting in sm2 is SO underrated#AND WE DON'T GET TO SEE HER FACIALLY REACT TO “I'M THE HERO HERE NOT YOU” AND I NEED IT OK#also limit said i didn't have to tag him but he plays on ultimate and my 'friendly neighborhood' ass is NOT taking credit for his skill#º ✧ 。 if it takes my heart and soul you know i'd pay the price mj && peter#º ✧ 。not the girl i was or used to be insomniac verse
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Genuinely can’t tell if I’m being a bit delusional with my dreams or if not 😅 I soooooo badly want to quit my job before the summer but I feel like I need to have everything Ready and be Making Money before I justify quitting - I’m just so worried I will pour all this time and effort and energy in and have it flop 🥲
#and if it does that’s ok I’ll get a different job#but I’m so ready for it to work and I’m so worried it won’t#and just every second I spend here make me feel like my soul is being sucked out#personal#rabbit rambles#Ive been working on logos and brand colors and graphics and stuff#and I just wanna focus on it 100%#and I’d have so much more time#but I’m so scared it won’t take off or work or be sustainable#to be honest I’m not looking for Millions of Dollars#but I’d love to be able to do it full time …..
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very very personal, just insight into where im at w my family and things that bother me/have encouraged me to move out
"i know youre moving out so im just gonna say no ones kicking you out and if you feel like this is something you have to do then ok"
thanks! i know im not being kicked out! but yknow i kinda yet a weird vibe when your out of touch husband takes me to a cemetery to yell at me, tell me im just like my father/dont give my father "the time of day", and that im "mean to people who care about me" in front of his dead mother's grave in a poor attempt at guilting me out of speaking my mind. but no yeah thanks for stating the fucking obvious that im leaving on my own terms
#problems!#people seem to underestimate how quick i am to make moves#the job market is piss. cant believe yall two would blame me for being unemployed when all i do from rise to slumber is hound ppl for jobs#im not going to stay in a house where i will be 'scared straight'. that shit doesnt work on me. in fact it has the opposite effect#i respect yall even LESS now#and youre so so fucking lucky one of my goals for next year is to make things right with you it would be easy to cut you off forever#same way i did with my abusive transphobic dad.#my mom is someone i know can do better and can actually listen to reason instead of being stuck in her generation's mentality of#'x is easy if you just do y. you kids have it so easy the world is at your fingertips' blah blah fucking blah#i am autistic i do not keep jobs easily. i am trans jobs do not want me. i am black and perceived as a woman. every customer at all of my#past jobs thinks i am rude or mean or have an attitude when i do nothing but treat others the exact way i would want to be treated#customers dont like what i say? i stop talking. customers dont like when i dont talk? i talk to them. rinse repeat#like i know im the problem here but all of my problems circle back to my autism and the fact that because im not a supergenius or#someone whose special interest is capitalism i fail at every avenue i try to jam myself in.#but yeah no i need to work harder i need to be taken to a FUCKING CEMETERY and yelled at by YOUR HUSBAND for wanting to go to the bathroom#in front of his mothers grave. god rest her soul and yall know im no christian so i actually mean that shit#because in his mind all i want to do is smoke and party. when i smoke because i have fucking migraines and g to shows#(two out of three of them being free and for the purpose of their willingness to 'get me out of the house')#bc i like music and i like engaging w my scene. but no its all violent noise theres no actual purpose or activism behind moshing. nope#its just one big party right. im just wasting my time right. because i like sleepin on a couch every night with no doors to close. yep ok#anyway heres to me getting my meds getting the fuck out and being somewhat far from my scene now that im moving#hows that for smoking and partying all the time huh?#if any of yall read this i am so so sorry. bitching about my stepdad will become a thing i think#hes one of those bible thumpers that are totally boring and indifferent to differences around them and thinks my mom is just like him#in some ways? she is. but she is a people pleaser and will never take her wants or her feelings seriously#because she had the unfortunate upbringing in being brainwashed into thinking her feelings/wants are sinful#shoutout to my christian or catholic mutuals who are fucking normal and dont let some old fantasy novel control your life. peace#religion mention
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so i am singing that vitellia in the end... but at what fucking cost.
'you gotta sing this softer'
'what'
'this is mozart'
'this is vitellia'
'this is mozart'
'im singing about how much i hate this mf and want him dead before the end of the day'
'this is mozart'
'i wanna murder a guy'
'this is mozart'
'...'
'softer. gentle. mozart'
'...ok'
#they're killing me here#i already bargained for ONE (1) note in chest (thank you so so much that i am ALLOWED to sing an A3 in chest voice <333) and now THIS#THIS is why people hate mozart. fuck you.#i recorded that rehearsal and the first version sounds SO MUCH BETTER. after i did what she asked me to do its just. so fucking boring.#i hate it here#i love this duet so much but frfr im not sure i wanna do it if i have to do it on their terms.#also like sorry to be a bitch but you're a pianist girl. just stick to your stuff and let me take care of mine.#just because you're playing this like you're constipated because tHiS iS mOzArT doesnt mean the rest of us dont care either.#its possible i never will get the chance to sing the entire vitellia so i want to do justice. as much as im able. to this one chance i get#it took me A Long While to deal with the fact that i wont be able to bark that 'indegno' and 'regno' like i always envisioned.#but like. ok. whatever. i can still make it Entertaining. THIS however. no. no fucking way.#and its not even about me being a big-headed know-it-all who thinks she's better than everyone because. lol and lmao clearly im Not#but this is about having a fucking SOUL. its about actually taking the libretto into consideration too. its about trying to figure out#WHY mozart wrote it the way he did. like sorry but this is another fiordiligi case where its CLEAR that the amplitudes the crazy jumps#are there FOR A REASON. the reason is HE WANTED A CONTRAST. some fucking EMOTION. he sure as hell didnt want it to be Soft And Gentle.#i know it because i talked to him and he told me im right about everything as always and you can eat shit girl bye#grrrrrrrr im so angry#i knos i sound so arrogant here but please. please i just want to make this music fun and enjoyable. i just dont want it to be boring#please understand my vision im begging you
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so magical that yakuza 1 and shadow the hedgehog came out the same year........ 2005 the best year for sega honestly.....
#snap chats#AND DAYS APART TOO IN JAPAN (rgg1 dec. 8 while shadow was dec. 15)#the gap is significantly wider for US releases but thats not important.....#japanese kids were winning on christmas i swear#'snap why are you bringing this up' isnt it obvious. i am playing shadow the hedgedhog#and i keep thinking about daigo playing shadow and then later down the line just talking to mine bout it cause he can be a lil sillay#i hope he had dreams where he and shadow got to be besties. and by Him And Shadow i mean he dreams himself as sonic#because obligatory Same VA Joke Is Obligatory IF WE CAN GET ONE (1) W FROM RCS VOICING DAIGO. LET IT BE THAT AT LEAST.#for me..... let it slide for me..... yes ik it was jason griffith voicing sonic (and shadow) back then but let it slide this once..#i refuse to acknowledge modern shadow. unless it's from that one uhhh fuck what was the cartoon called#its on netflix Point Is the one time shadow was actually like his old self girl i sobbed. too bad sonic was a dipshit though#a soul for a soul ig.... i think its ok just this once....#im getting so off topic but this is how i inflict my other interests upon you lot#i trap you into reading a post vaguely about rgg and then i make it about something else :)#look at my pfp you fool. i legally have to talk about shadow the hedgehog like once a month ok let me have this#while im here. like /i/ know this game is nine years long but sometimes i forget HOW long#326 endings and for what. because they love me thats why.#fym 'revenge at last' is only ending 11 that seems like the third route or so you'd take (only black doom missions)#ok ive talked long enough. anyway bye im gonna uhhhh god idk.... i keep getting distracted#i started watching kagerou while my sister was playing mysims the other day but i got too engrossed by her playing to continue#mysims was like. A White Whale of sorts in my house for a while since it was one of like five games my sis actually played#and it was her fave but one day 1.) we lost it 2.) our wii stopped working. since that day she's blamed me for losing it#WELL then i found it and i got the wii u working SO all that can stop now 👁️👁️ ok ive fr gone on too long#unfortunately i cant talk about EVERYTHING i want to lest i just turn this into a general games blog. but i wont i prommy#for now. bye fr i think my sis just got home actually LMAO
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Okay I can’t say this enough but Sorey as the protagonist really embodies the themes and messages of Zestiria so well that it feels like you can’t truly like Zestiria if you don’t like him. He’s the narrative itself, he might as well be called “Tales of Zestiria” the character.
As an anniversary title, Zestiria puts emphasis on inheriting from your legacy and how to evolve and build on top of that legacy respectfully. From this you can see why the developers would draw inspirations from actual history, and since it’s the Japanese history they’re intimately familiar of, they went with it.
Japanese history has always been highly influenced with spirituality, that’s a fact that Zestiria also tries to bring up. We’ve come so far in these modern times, but that’s also thanks to the many eons of traditions that we’ve exactly come a long way. Think about it, the time we get to live is so short compared to how long the world has lived and will live (yet the world is also still young, it still continues to evolve), recorded in history or not. We’re all connected from the past to the future. If we forget about it and don’t show the gratitude, who will?
I’ve talked about “born Shinto, die Buddhist” but that’s how uniquely pluralistic the Japanese society is. It’s not even moving from one to the other, because both are still practiced, even though people in the modern times often think they don’t have time for things like these anymore.
On one hand, Shinto is really all about how sacred this world is, and that includes your life, so please cherish yourself as well. It is exactly because Sorey, as a mere human who really is not all that special in the larger scheme of things (yet he’s still part of this world, the only one he has), has pure appreciation for the world around him, excitement and curiosity for the mysteries yet to unfold, and the eagerness to pass this feeling onto others that he’s in tune with himself and conscious of the way of the 神. Living in harmony. On the other hand, death is an inevitability of human condition, and Sorey, as the 導師 (a word that also specifically means Buddhist monk for funerals in Japan, as mentioned before), has come to regard death as a way of salvation. Death is often seen as something so sad, so unfortunate, but he has learned that perhaps it can be a release for some. Life is beautiful, life is sacred, but life is also suffering. That is just being human.
This ties in nicely with what he wants to do and what he needs to do. There is passion in both. The things he wants to do, it’s because he knows life has so much more to offer out there, and he has plenty of time and energy for all that! The things he needs to do, it’s because he took upon that responsibility himself, and with that he has to accept viewpoints and approaches he might have had a hard time agreeing with before, but thanks to those his horizons widened and again, death is an inevitability, it must happen. However, both of these don’t exist in vacuum, they’re both interlinked. Both of these are what make a human, human. The more you respect life, the more you respect death. The more you respect death, the more you respect life. A balance is needed here, and in the end, he doesn’t tip the scale too far in one direction, yet he doesn’t lose a sense of himself.
Then you have both Shinto and Buddhism teach you on how to conduct your own self, in relationship to your life, mostly. But you’re not alone, there are others, and they’re different, that should be celebrated! Precisely because there are others that you can shine more in your own way. Each of us has a role to fulfill, and that’s fine, let’s just all work together towards a better future for our successors. In both Shinto and Buddhism, the human is originally pure, yet life makes them be afflicted with either kegare or kleshas. There’s no way around this, that’s just another fact of life as a human, and Sorey accepts this, accepts that malevolence will always be there as long as humans exist, but they don’t and won’t get to define humans, ever. Humans are so much more than the malevolence; humans and malevolence might be inseparable, but they’re barely one and the same. Despite everything, everyone deserves their own chances to come to their own answers.
I don’t know I’m just thinking out loud how much I love Sorey as a character (and subsequently Zestiria as a whole). I’ve been saying this since 2015 but in my eyes he’s one of the most well-executed characters Tales has and I will die on this hill. Not saying it is without its hiccups, but Zestiria is really a thematic masterpiece to me. Everything fits together nicely like puzzle pieces; it starts with this one idea, expands, and then converges again to that one idea.
Just look at him. I love him so much I could combust. The legend that has become “hope” to me.
#mino rambles#mino talks zesty#i'm whelmed with FEELS and suddenly all these words pour out#sorey lovemail#zestiria lovemail#i can't stop thinking and overthinking and then falling in love again with this dumb little game#so charming and despite all the wordvomit#words still aren't enough to describe how MUCH i adore tales of zestiria#i really mean this with all my heart and soul without a lick of irony and i've been doing this since january 2015#i will never take my words back#you will find me dead on this hill. or not.#because even if i die i will still through sheer will alone haunt that hill and protect it MY LOVE WILL NEVER DIE#EVER#and you'll be sure of it#i love tales of zestiria#ok shut up mino you've talked TOO much#i will stop here#over my dead body tho#also i said thinking but truthfully i think i'm always head empty i'm incapable of thinking properly#it's all about FEELING i guess to me#there's no overfeeling tho lol#this makes me sound insane but who am i fooling i'm indeed insane
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the vibe for june 12th is collective soul. since learning they're touring and released an album in this, the year of I'm bored 2024, yesterday, I tried listening to their newer stuff (my collection of their albums ends in 2000). it's not bad and definitely still sounds very much like them, but the older stuff is just dear to my heart.
#music#collective soul#the vibe for#brenna#listen mostly all i did was work and/or think about work#besides listen to music#my best attempt at a headphones selfie and they never work but this one is ok I guess idk#i just love my house so#here's the french doors at twilight#idk i didn't take any photos when it was still daytime#kind of generic this new stuff#but like generic collective soul#if that makes sense#like they're not quite any other band#but a lot of their stuff sounds the same
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my room smells like cat pee and i’m deciding between ending it all and burning the house down. maybe both tbh
#one of the cats in this house just kinda pees. wherever. and it makes me actually want to die#they figured out she had a uti many years ago and it’s like. ok did it go away? is it still with us?#bc this needs to Stop#i don’t even let her in my room so idk why tf it smells in here. that’s why i’m fucking mad#my window has been open the whole time i’ve been gone too so. this is just cruel and unusual#someone kidnap me pls i’m begging u i can’t take it anymore#the smells of this house poison my soul every day and i’m losing my will to go on
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fknished lynsys sidequest and hes so (biting him like a chewtoy) i think his insane rizz everybody talks abt his fake but i think calling mc a “gentle soul” and indulging paimon w a private show and thinking of us as his friends is genuine and i think thats cuter
#ik ppl want a guy that flirrs w mc regardles of gender but i do think his rizz is just him in the magician persona#i like his more subdued sweet side#i like him being genuine more….silly guy#🤏🤏🤏 also did not expecr to like lynette this much from his sidequest#but shes so reliable and cute and 🤏🤏🤏🤏🤏#i love their relationship so much#claude txt#i do think theres smth up w rhe flowers lyney gives us tho. one parting one passion two separate perspectives of the same nature#but im too stupid to figure it out#to me mc could potentially also be lyneys “truth”#romantically or platonically idk#personally. qpr. qpr is always the solution.#ok heres my isnane take. i dont think lyney would cause harm to us#betrayal comes in many forms and i think for lyney it would jsut be omission and lies#i think hes too loyal. Imo. i rhink hes in debt to us.#the same way he was in debt w his teacher#i think his teacger and mc r both “gentle souls”#and i rhink l&l wouldnt go against us as strongly because theyre in debt to us#we became lyneys attorney and protected him and now they owe us yk.#yk what fuck it i dont think l&l would betray us anymore#yeah it sucks but i cant see it anymore#unless they were threatened or smth#potential parallels w rh npc stoey forbfuture archon quests frfr
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It’s v funny how there can be 2 characters in something who have both objectively done bad/villainous things and for one you can be like awww my babygirl. Free my man. Poor little meow meow he’s SADddd :(
and for the other you can just have a visceral oh FUCK this whiny pissbaby no second chances for you get fucked and die <3 kinda reaction (on a personal level, without being a dick to people who like them lol)
but such is fandom
#me w heroes obv lol. oh you’re sad and your dad sold you to one direction?? i don’t caaaaaaaaare get out of my sight I’m done with you#but my man only did those war crimes bc hes sad and self loathing ok we are NOT the same#making fun of myself lol so very simplified takes here I just. feel these things in my soul in a way I can’t explain#anni rambles#sorry I’m always subtweeting mr gray I promise I’m not going to be a dick to his fans I’m just a little hater
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suggesting certain movies to people is like ripping open your chest and baring your soul
#moose talk#i just watched re-animator#and messaged a friend who i know likes The Thing and Alien#and was like hey um i think u would like evil dead and re-animator :)#and truely it is like showing them my soul#i trust you and trust that you will love what i love#i did this with some other friends im even closer with#(suggesting evil dead)#and they hated it#and honestly its a little crushing#its ok they dont like it! they dont have to and i know its not for everyone#but to know that we are not on the same wavelength...#it crushes a little#knowing that i cannot share that element of things I love (because they wont like it)#and that i cant always take movie opinions from them#(because they like some things i really dont)#um these tags got away from me#uhh hi thanks for reading my thoughts#you are now also peering into my soul#hope you like it in here#evil dead#reanimator#re-animator
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#ngl rn the idea that i still have to stay here working on the same stuff when a potential phd project is on the horizon is a lil soul#crushing. like god i wanna b able to read papers abt that. not work on my existing papers. or take measurements. or stay here anymore#like probably at least 6 months more. thats so long 😭 let me shed this skin#ugh. at least the decision making is almost over. one more interview and then i should have all the decisions by the 1st week of march?#and then its just up to me to decide. rn id say the school i visited. but thats plenty of time to talk myself out of it. ugh#ugh me trying to do my job: ok i have like 7 things i could me doing *starts thing 1* oh wait but *starts thing 2*. i just ping pong#between tasks and dont get things all the way done. then im like oh i need to remember X thing later *instantly forgets* but i did just#experience the glory of being reminded to do a task via calender#listen. its like my brain has holes in it and theyre threatening to destroy my life lmao#most of the time i feel like a pinball when ur just hitting it back and forth between the bars. threatening to fall between them#ay ay ay. my poor feeble brain. someday ill fix iy#it. or like. try to manage it better so im not constantly on the edge of catastrophe. but ya kno that day is not today or tomorrow#bc i am paralyzed of driving lmao and its fucking wimby out there#ugh. i miss the snow already :-( i wanna go back :-( ugh they got their hooks in me#unrelated
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