#experience the glory of being reminded to do a task via calender
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#ngl rn the idea that i still have to stay here working on the same stuff when a potential phd project is on the horizon is a lil soul#crushing. like god i wanna b able to read papers abt that. not work on my existing papers. or take measurements. or stay here anymore#like probably at least 6 months more. thats so long 😭 let me shed this skin#ugh. at least the decision making is almost over. one more interview and then i should have all the decisions by the 1st week of march?#and then its just up to me to decide. rn id say the school i visited. but thats plenty of time to talk myself out of it. ugh#ugh me trying to do my job: ok i have like 7 things i could me doing *starts thing 1* oh wait but *starts thing 2*. i just ping pong#between tasks and dont get things all the way done. then im like oh i need to remember X thing later *instantly forgets* but i did just#experience the glory of being reminded to do a task via calender#listen. its like my brain has holes in it and theyre threatening to destroy my life lmao#most of the time i feel like a pinball when ur just hitting it back and forth between the bars. threatening to fall between them#ay ay ay. my poor feeble brain. someday ill fix iy#it. or like. try to manage it better so im not constantly on the edge of catastrophe. but ya kno that day is not today or tomorrow#bc i am paralyzed of driving lmao and its fucking wimby out there#ugh. i miss the snow already :-( i wanna go back :-( ugh they got their hooks in me#unrelated
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