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double--blind · 1 year ago

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(SPOILERS) breaking down how obsessed Andrew is w/his sister bc he's a repressed lil liar and I'm going insane

This post got longer than I intended it to

1. He claims they don't spend enough time apart from each other to even begin missing her so he doesn't even know if he would, but just earlier in the game he was apart from her for probs like 30 mins tops to investigates some cultists and guess what???? He was already missing her 😒

2. Says "I thought you grew out of this touchy-feely crap" when Ashley asks for a hug, but earlier when he was cooking dinner, he was the one with the inexplicable urge to "pull this broody bitch into [his] arms and force her to stay until she smiles" 😒

3. Piggy-backing off the last screenshot: WHAT OTHER THOUGHTS, ANDREW??? yOU WERE JUST THINKING ABT HUGGING HER. WHAT DO YOU EVEN MEAN. THESE ARE SIMPLY INNOCENT BROTHERLY THOUGHTS ARE THEY NOT????? 🤨🤨🤨

4. Bro just can't keep his hands off her. And everyone thinks Ashley's the clingy one jeez (lol the way he springs apart from her when Mom catches them is definitely definitelyyyy not worth analyzing. nope. not even when it happens a second time on the couch. nope. nooope)

5. What. What is he thinking here. Don't think I don't see those grey lil blush lines. Is this connected to my third point somehow bc like... 🤨😬 Is "Andrew" is gonna start doing and being what "Andy" was too spineless and afraid of doing?? That's what the vow was partly abt right?? Does that include—

5. WHEWWW BOY that little flashback with his gf has so much baggage in it I just wanna dissect. His girlfriend's tryna have a serious discussion with him abt his weird sister for the sake of bettering their relationship bc she genuinely loves him, but he just gets caught up in fondly talking abt said weird sister instead??

6. He's awfully hesitant abt Ashley learning some independence, bc y'know what?? I think he doesn't really want her to stop relying on him. But what do I know y'know

6. Wants his gf to put tie her hair up in a ponytail, then when she refuses bc he'll pull on it, says it's just "how boys express their love". Well. You know who else puts there hair up in a ponytail??? You know who else's hair he's always pulling on and touching???

7. The voicemails in his gf's phone left by Ashley are heard by him in his dreams, and his dreams are a construction of his mind utilizing his memories, personal hangups, and knowledge of Ashley. The voicemails irl were left on his gf's phone, and for all we know, he never actually listened to them in person. Bearing this in mind... odds are the things Ashley's saying contain bits of truths he believes within himself, filtered thru her crude, hateful dialogue.

Here. I transcribed one of them...

"DO YOU THINK YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME!? Just because you can fuck him and I can't? You think that's love?! Are you fucking delusional?? Cumdumpsters like you are just that. He will never love you. Not like he loves me. I am the only one. I am everything. I am the secrets you'll never hear. When he lies in bed at night, and when he needs someone to hold on to… It's not you he seeks out. It is me."

8. Claims Ashley's the one with the jealous streak, not him, but I think he's just as bad. The only difference is that Ashley's never given him reason to act on it since all she's ever wanted was him, but at the slightest mention of her gettin it on w/someone else, even as a joke, he gets mad. "OVER MY DEAD BODY!!" he says, when she's jokingly contemplating getting knocked up via the neighbor so an ambulance would come for her. "I wouldn't let them," he says, when she's complaining abt not being pretty enough for the wardens to bang her

9. Going hand-in-hand with that fact, he's intensely protective of her. Didn't hesitate to cleaver the warden who found her in the closet (probs didn't even BLINK lmaooo he chose VIOLENCE), and when the cake-stealing cultist insulted her just once, he stepped forward just like that

10. In their apt, when they were lying on the floor talking abt jumping off the balcony, he was really caught up in the "romantic" fantasy of them committing a double suicide and dying with their bodies entwined so irreparably by the impact they form one unified corpse "never to be separated!" and they get buried in the same coffin together. UM??? Bro fr thought he was the sane one of the two. That wasn't even true before the cannibalism and demon summoning 😭😭😭

BONUS:

11. This might just be me, but his reaction to seeing the post-sex vision doesn't strike me as someone who's inherently opposed to the idea. Instead of disgusted, he was... flustered?? He acted like she walked in mid-guilty pleasure wet dream. This wasn't a "GROSS THATS INCEST" reaction which is... the most normal reaction to have. That's the face of a man that got CAUGHT bro.

He asks "we're not like that, are we?" and "why are you like this?" and questions the veracity of the vision, but he never actually explicitly denies wanting the vision to happen, more focused on Ashley and her reaction. He buries the elephant under the rug as fast as he can, bc yeah, it struck a landmine, but it probably wasn't a landmine for the reason Ashley thinks it is. I bet the vision just hit a little too close... :P

#the coffin of andy and leyley #coffincest #andrew x ashley #tcoaal #txt post #character analysis #andrew graves #bro is MESSED UP and I'm only scratching the surface #half of this post is analyzing his gf and I'm not even done man I didn't even mention how Julia is both a foil for Ashley and a lookalike #he both chose a girl completely different from her (mfer's compensating) and someone who reminds him of her

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klonoadreams · 21 days ago

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Genuinely think it's super fucking funny that Idia, Mister Almost Factory Reset The World when he OB'd is out here, talking shit to Malleus, like pot, meet kettle. Lmao i know he's just the Styx messenger here, but it's still so funny.

But also I think if there's anyone who can reach out to Malleus despite it all, it's Idia, who has already went through the pains of losing his own brother.

Since Malleus ended the dream, and his blot levels went down, I feel that Idia is succeeding to a point where I don't believe at all that Silver is going to actually target Malleus's horns.

Nah, I think that's gonna be used on the dragon phantom behind him. I'll probs be wrong by the next update or whatever, but I have a feeling things won't go exactly as people think it will.

And I fucking doubt Malleus will lose his horns. Like come on. :V

(Being a Malleus Defender is suffering when twst fandom is eating each other alive, I'm just waiting for the flashback scene of Malleus being vulnerable)

#twisted wonderland #twst #twst spoilers #malleus draconia #idia shroud

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survivalxofxthexfittest · 9 days ago

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He took a page out of Charlie's book of comfort and began caressing her hair lovingly, a gently sway accompanying it like when they were younger and she'd just crawled into his bed after a nightmare. No matter how old they got, Charlie would always be his kid sister and he would always want to protect her. Even if that meant from him.

"Don't count your Chias just yet. I still might," he admitted with a subdued chuckle. "But I know he's important to you and makes you happy," he went on, his touch now rubbing her arm in to both further soothe Charlie and to break his still smoldering anger with him. "And if anyone deserves that it's you," he assured her with a slight tightening of his hug.

Besides, he couldn't exactly kill family and he'd overhead Roman was now his brother-in-law, so he would get to live another day. Hopefully he kept to his word and realized just how lucky he was to have her love. Otherwise, injured or not, he would happily break his rule of family being off limits and give in to his anger. But Charlie didn't need to know that.

"I gave you my word," he solidified of his commitment. "And I want you to promise to stop stressing so much. As much as you can anyway," he requested of her, knowing her heart was far too big to ever stop caring. "The world is shitty enough. Your little guy needs all the calm he can get before he gets here."

His gaze momentarily fell from hers as a short, sad, knowing laugh escaped him. Despite how it may have seemed, he had been genuinely excited about becoming an uncle. Terrified, but excited. What little happiness the reminder brought dissipated almost instantly as she went on however - believing her view of him to be biased and skewed.

"Charlie, I'm not..." he started denying her with a slight shake of his head.

"...worth saving" is what he had intended on telling her, but the pain in her eyes when their gazes locked was like a punch straight to the gut. Pain he was causing because of his emotional selfishness. Pain he'd seen in her eyes only a few times before thanks to his tumultuous relationship with drugs. Pain he vowed after his last rock bottom never to allow back. Cathartic as it may have been, he now felt immense regret at letting her see him so broken. Regret that he'd let any of them see him shatter followed right behind.

"I'm not giving up. Okay? I'm not. I wouldn't do that to you," he assured her, cupping the sides of her face and making sure she could see the honesty in his eyes. "I'm just..."

His hands slipped from the sides of her face and he wiped his own clean, tears once more threatening to overflow as her words repeated in his mind. Charlie. The baby. People love you. Jeremiah. People need you. Devan. Don't give up. He even added a few of his own worries to his still racing thoughts - Ash and Mal. Sada even. The weight of the world seemed to be coming to rest on his shoulders, giving him a new, profound respect for his brother, but he wasn't like Jeremiah. He was a fuck up. Plain and simple. Even his best intetnions ended in failure. And the possible mistakes he could make with those he loved terrified him.

He took a calming breath before forcing himself to push through his fear. "These past few months have been alot and it's been harder to come back from it all. I won't lie and say one day it'll all be okay because I don't think it'll ever go away," he admitted to her, clearing his throat of the growing lump as his mind uncontrollably went back to the run that started it all. "But I'm fine. Really," he lied to satiate her worries. "Do you really think after how mad I got at Roman for ditching you that I would ever think to do the same? Come on," he added with a half-hearted chuckle, always cracking a joke in times of stress - even if they didn't always hit.

"You can always count on me. I'll always be there for you. No matter what," he told her definitively, a quiet implication over her recent secrets nestled in his words. "Come here," he went on, pulling her in for a hug and kiss to the top of her head. "I'm not going anywhere. I promise. So you can stop worrying about me, okay?" he told her knowing she always would, his voice muffled against her hair as he nuzzled into their hug.

#JP up here just assuming it's gonna be a boy to carry on the Rose name. lmao #forget that thr last name is Drake probs. 🤣#also thinking this might be a good spot to wrap this one up?#and start something new for them? the flashback perhaps? 🤔#queued this up before we talked. lmao. got your starter cooking #pxtitxrosx #[survival is the only way: john paul]#april #penthouse

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tommysm0ondust · 1 year ago

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OK SO NINJAGO DRAGONS RISING SEASON 2 SPOILERS IF YOU HAVENT SEEN IT DO NOT READ RAHHHH

ahem.

AHHHHHHHHHHH OMGOMGOMGOMG

I loved it so much guys you don't get it

GUYS. COLE AND GEO???? OMG??????? THE FLASHBACKS WHILE LOOKING LOVINGLY AT THE PHOTO??? THEM HOLDING HANDS AGH SOMEONE KNOCK ME OUT BEFORE I EXPLODE

Kai learning how to do rising dragon while thinking of him and Nya as kids. and then Nya doing the same later. sobbing uncontrollably rn.

also I have something IMPORTANT to say Abt my boy Jay

I've seen ppl say like "omg why is he so stupid lol" but no. no you guys just don't get him like me. I am him and he is me guys trust me.

but no fr like, him being terrified that this orb in front of him knows he has powers that he's hiding. he seemed TERRIFIED. he is obviously scared of what ppl will think of him.

like he does not want ANYONE knowing he has powers and I don't think it's like a "ooh I'm powerful but I can't show them bc they'll know how cool and powerful I am" or smth.

I don't think he's using them at all.

he's SCARED of his powers. and he's scared of what it will do to others

so since I'm guessing the jay villain rumors™ are happening probs, it will be so easy to get this man to follow an evil path

either blackmail, or manipulation.

my boy does not know what he's doing and is scared he is easily gonna be controlled and then become a badass villain.

SPEAKING OF HIS POWERS. they seemed like wonky. probs cuz he doesn't remember how to use them, so that means he won't hold back much. because he doesn't know HOW.

Lego pls let Jay murder someone

this turned into a jay rant my apologies

guys I love Arin he's my child actually.

him feeling useless to the team sobs

and then sora helping him so he thinks he did his little spinjitzu thing so he feels better I love them both sm.

there's so much more I could say but my fingers are tired so I'm gonna stop here and continue ranting on another time💔

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raayllum · 9 months ago

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Season 6 Trailer Breakdown

You all know what this is, although a quick note that I won't be drawing much from other teasers or clips released / a "this is what probs happens in each episode" amalgamation may come out later depending on motivation. There are some scenes I left out as 1) we know where those clips are from already (like the water funnelling shadowpaw clip) or they seem self explanatory (Karim and Sol Regem's plotline, etc).

Furthermore — there is one specific screencap with something I noticed that I'd argue is the biggest / most plot relevant spoiler in the trailer; I am enclosing it at the end for posterity. If you want to read the rest of the breakdown but want to avoid a potentially big spoiler, please stop reading after *** . I don't want anyone to be more spoiled than they'd like to be. Okay? Okay.

With that out of the way, let's dig in

First up: Kosmo's monologue overlaid with clips of the Starscraper and some kind of wintery storm. Kosmo is the male Skywing / celestial elf with vitiligo on the left in another shot

Kosmo: I see a thousand stars. A thousand eyes. Worlds one and myriad. All of us nothing, and all of us infinite.

This probably relates to his understanding of Star magic and possibly the arcanum itself. The wintery storm may be something from the past or present up here in the Frozen North, a lightning storm that Avizandum or Zubeia created, or it could even be from Callum pulling lightning down they face the large blue dragon we've seen in a few clips now (Luna Tenebris' "unsuitable" heir) and later on in the trailer.

Then we see Rayla, accompanied by Kosmo and Astrid, overseeing the beginning of Callum's trust fall 'trial' for lack of a better term with the blindfold over his eyes. It's clearly extremely cold and he doesn't seem particularly happy, but... willing participant, I suppose?

We're gonna come back to the staffs in a second, just you wait. To start, I want to affirm that there are multiple shots of this same location being unveiled, and make up the bulk of the Callum / Rayla + Starscraper portion of the trailer, such as these:

We see eight staff-holders, though it's not clear if one is missing. This could mean a 'Startouch' elf for each primal source + two others, or something unrelated to magic at all. There was "eight" singled out in the 5x08 poem ("eight in a line") though this is a circle, not a line.

The reason I highlight this is because 1) I've been confident that Viren's staff contained Star magic or extra power of some kind for years now and it seems that the answer is yes and (bonus points) it's not a quasar diamond, which also helps keep another theory of mine going and 2) we saw in the teaser some of the Viren-Kpp'Ar flashback fight scene, and I wouldn't be surprised if they were partially fighting over Viren taking the staff from Kpp'Ar, period.

Moving on, I'm speculating that the growing blast we see may be Aaravos (or another Startouch elf) being cast down to earth and creating the Sea of the Cast Out, given that Ripples describes it as, "The falling star plummeted, down and down and down, until it struck the breathless world below. With its impact came a long and terrible night: The earth bled! The seas churned! The sun and moon hid for weeks behind the sky’s screaming storm!" This may be what we've seen Aaravos weeping over additionally: not his own banishment per se, but the loss of someone else (Leola?).

the next main 'set piece' of the trailer is the big battle scene in the encroaching Sunfire civil war, and while there was speculation previously from a shot of Aanya and her arrow that she'd joined the fray, we now have confirmation. I am intrigued about what has Ezran being on the battlefield on foot without armour, weapons, or his usual dragon cavalry.

You can even see her in the background here on the stones, seemingly firing off her special flashy arrow in order to help Ezran get away from Karim's forces, which may be why he's caught up in the middle of things without a lot of preparation. This might be related to the closeup shot of her from this trailer with her bow and arrow, but given the nature of the arrow, it could easily be the other closeup shot of her with the fancy unfurling flower gemstone arrow we got in the Teaser.

For more individual shots:

Aaravos still has his chest piece in full and it doesn't seem like he's been expelled from the heavens yet. Looking very pointedly at my "his chest piece is out there somewhere and maybe in the cube as a quasar diamond" theory. I could see this being him on trial or something with the other Startouch elves

Then we have Rayla and some form of Runaan. He has red eyes like a corrupted Banther, but the green is completely base. This Runaan also doesn't have his canonically broken horn (just like Rayla's vision of him and her other parents in 5x01) so I'm willing to bet whatever this is is preying on Rayla's memory of Runaan > the actual Moonshadow elf himself. Could be a nightmare, or even some kind of illusion (maybe Luna's heir's moonstone collar has some messed up illusion stuff?). Rayla also seems to be underwater or in some kind of dark place, though the background for Runaan looks more fittingly like the Silvergrove. I certainly would not be opposed to Callum and Rayla having to face their worst nightmares, or something — stuff like that is always interesting angsty and juicy characterization.

Speaking of nightmares, that would also fit with this screencap of Callum. We know from 6x01 details that he has a nightmare regarding Aaravos, and we also know from people at cons that this screencap was not there. Looking at the scene itself, the deep purple lighting highlights that it's not quite 'real', nor is it necessarily possible due to the background being Finnegrin's office on the Sea Legs, where Callum last did dark magic. I could very easily see this being a dream where Callum is having horrifying visions of himself outside his body, and this is one.

I do find it interesting that, rather than black dark magic slug goop like I first thought on his hand, it's actually blood on his hand, and the changes this indicates of Callum's psyche / fears. Normally when Callum breaks things (primal stone, moon opal necklace, the green slug) it's with his other hand, for starters. But more importantly, I think it's interesting that this nightmare isn't about being flat out possessed, but of being more of a dark mage: the eyes, the corruption, the blood, etc. and how that may lead to Aaravos' will being further enforced over him. It speaks to a recognition of his own agency as well as growing fears of being not just controlled, but corrupted along the way.

Claudia on the beach probably after killing Sir Sparklepuff (hence the blood and corruption) having the worst mental breakdown of her life (which is saying something) so far, either upon realizing she's lost her father anyway, Viren being alive but leaving her, etc.

Then we have Callum the infamous Frozen Ship, now burning. Either he was in there with Rayla and escaped first, leading to him sadly thinking she's gone before she manages to get out on her own and they happily embrace... or he was vibing outside without her (by her request no doubt) and shit's hit the fan. I could see him mourning her and her reappearance is when they finally fully reconcile, and I could also see him running back onto a burning ship for her (or trying at least). Y'know, the way you do.

I am famously always here for Rayllum being desperate as fuck about each other's safety, so I know I'm gonna eat that shit up regardless and it will be Delicious.

Onto the less clear parts of the trailer, in some ways:

We have what seems to be Terry and Claudia presumably at the same place, the Valley of the Graves, back in Katolis, although for what reason is unknown. I could see them maybe coming back to Katolis to the Orphan Queen's grave, for some reason. I could also see the spell Claudia doing (hence the light hair and yellow on the chest) being a release spell for Aaravos — which asks when and how does she get the prison from Callum and co. — or some 'opening up the heavens' spell that'll come close to killing her; it could be something else entirely. It has to be something where Terry seems reluctant to let her go through with it and has probably tried to stop her (yes internal Terry turmoil!! Come back to me) and failed. I've kept meaning to make a post about it, but I could see Claudia post-6x01 come crawling back to Terry at Aaravos' beckoning ("He'll be a useful ally") and Terry realizing Claudia didn't come back to him out of love like he thought, but partially to use him because she's too far gone right now to see it and trying to keep her distance emotionally.

Which asks the question: we all thought this was maybe from the beginning of the season, with Viren or Claudia or something trying to get into Katolis. But what if it's closer to the end?

I posit this order of things for two reasons. The first is that we know in 6x01 Soren leaves to go look for Zubeia with Zym, reunites with Corvus at the Sunfire elves (6x02-ish?), Corvus and Ezran see Karim's forces at one point (the Teaser) with Zym helping Ez escape. We even have a shot of Soren leaving Katolis with Zym in the trailer.

The shot of Soren being bloody is clearly at Katolis on the battlements, so it seems that it has to be after the Sunfire battle has happened, and I doubt Janai and Amaya can win considering Sol Regem having his wings healed by the Sun seed, and it's S6 "everything goes wrong" time.

It could be that the Sunfire battle didn't end well (Karim as king or forces corrupted by Pharos-sleeper agent? Kim'Dael is free?) even with Aanya's help, and people have retreated to regroup in the stronghold that is Katolis... A stronghold that Claudia wants or needs to get to, for whatever reason. Soren would have good reason to look pissed. Maybe the big explosion from earlier on in the trailer is even just Claudia, making her presence known on her way into Katolis for some kind of scare-factor.

And, of course, Claudia could go to Katolis in the first half of the season (6x02—6x05) when bloodied and bruised Soren isn't there, and just Ezran in the rain. There could be some magical power-up, and then Ez has to flee and go to the Sunfire elves, the situation not much better. But this doesn't explain why we see Soren presumably at Katolis and looking as beat up as he does unless it's a shot from very near the end of the season.

And here's where we get to the Big Spoiler, imo, so please click away now if you don't want to see it!

Furthermore... we Know the Sunfire battle is happening near the End of the season (sometime 6x07 onwards) because there's no way Rayllum is leaving the Starscraper any earlier than the end of 6x06... and they're there, along with Astrid, at said battle.

Y'know this big shot of the Sunfire battle? Well, the trio is there in the upper red corner, when you zoom in.

There's Astrid (blue and white), Callum in between flapping his wings, and presumably Rayla with her borrowed wing bracelets from Kosmo (though I suppose it could just be Kosmo himself, but I doubt it). Why they're coming to the battle, I don't know — if Aaravos is out by this point, they might have bigger problems that they need to collect Ezran and co. for, and didn't realize the level of conflict had escalated — or somehow, we get through the Starscraper portion of the story without the prison breaking, though Callum is still presumably possessed (?) — and it is Claudia who releases Aaravos near the end of S6.

That could be possible, especially if Claudia, whose S6 plotline is a total mystery, comes sniffing around the Sunfire side of things and can steal the prison here and... take it back to Katolis because it needs to be? Orphan Queen had Aaravos' chest piece? Idk. But yeah, this is where things get kind of tricky, and if we did go this route I'd wonder why not let Claudia steal the pearl in 5x09 at all, but we'll have to see. It could work! My money is still on Callum possessed or otherwise having a hand in setting Aaravos free, but really anything could happen at this point

Just thirteen days to go!

#tdp #tdp spoilers #the dragon prince #s6 #s6 speculation #trailer #predictions #mine #analysis #analysis series

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t-underneaththeradardancing · 1 month ago

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a rara avis Cinder pic and update - she hatez 2 b fotographed but as we rote - so glad 2 c me she forgot to be mad - we mostly missed caturday frog friday and all of thursday

and

maybe even poetry -tho if ur squeamish ( i am actually but this wuz my reality ) or only follow casually - you might wanna scroll on and stroll on like a yardbird to the next post on ur dash

so imma facing mortality - and so far still here and now - and really - wtf do we have but now

on with the ( horror ) show - witch must go on u no - cuz the Bard say its a stage

voluminous bloody diarrhea - we will hereafter refer to as vbd -cuz

(ok i warned u - it gets worser so again - feel free to skip the rest - really - we wont bee offended )

but 1st a reminder that here and now - t iz at home w his wife and kitty - good and always - waiting for murder and birdsong and the usual usual...

and like blanche we get by w the kindness of strangers on this streetcar

the vbd started in the middle of the nite train - bout 230 am thursday - woke up and in the dark the 1st bout and we thinks - oh no not another bout of colitis not knowing about the b (ignorance is bliss) - head back 2 bed and then have to - this time i have the light on - and see b on the floor that dripped - and another episode of vbd this time knowing - i call out loudly for unpoet to waken - after this it abates - we try to plan - and another vbd - 911 time - and the kindness begins w the operator then the ambulance crew - in the ER vbd actually gets worse - sitting on a commode w no privacy - it abates a bit - they put ports in each arm cuz we gonna need them - on the way to a ct scan i get 2 use an actual bathroom i am at the sink washing my hands and the vbd gushes down my legs - theres door knock - i say just a minnit trynna get the terror down - unlock the door and jest standing there - an ER doc comes in trynna calm me - as the panic subside he gently cleans me - not waiting 4 a nurse - eventually we get thru this and ct - a hospital room - a commode in view of many hospital workers - iv fluids waiting for b to get a transfusion - 2 pints of b hooked up to machines its hard 2 navigate from bed to commode - and wiping is impossible - a stranger wiping my bloody ass - and this happens over and over - with different strangers - all being kind and gentle as can b - and we begin the prep for a colonoscopy - under the best of circumstances - awful - and increases the frequency - i am told the bleeding part usually abates on its own before the colonoscopy even starts - anyway thats the next couple or three hours and then to ICU - i see u is right - in plain view and more kindness - we tell head nurse we are getting used 2 the total lack of dignity the b abates but the frequency - of the v and d increases cuz of the prep

flashbacks - 1 -the last hospital stay - a heart attack - the staff was not as kind and been terror fried of dying in a hospital ever since - and 2 - a friend in similar circumstance posting vid defiantly dancing in her hospital gown

fuck u death not today

anyway - we knew before we had diverticulitis - has not caused a prob in 10 years - and the likely culprit - but since bleeding stopped no intervention or anything to b done

sum releaf cuz no signs of cancer but told having 1 episode increases chances of 2nd and if there is a 3rd will have 2 remove part of colon

dinner is ice chips tho a few hours later some jello - nurse telling me they avoided the strawberry cuz of color laffing

anyway hooked to machines - peeing in a bottle - we spend the night in eye see u

about midnight a night nurse comes in 2 do something - dont remember what - he asks if theres anything we want - "a hamburger would b nice " laff - "with fries" he asks and offers tea - we have tv on as distraction tho only managed to follow 1 show

we dont sleep well in hotel rooms usually even nice one - the exception being one by the ocean close enough to hear waves break in the night quiet - and icu is anything but quiet - machines beeping mostly - the sound of automatic blood pressure monitor every 15 minutes at 1st then hourly - both arms are hooked up to something - and finger sticks and blood draws on the side - exhausted and hungry we manage to sleep 15 minutes a few times

ok we rap it up - morning - jello and liquid nourishment drink am promised some "real " food " 4 lunch - broth and yogurt and another nutrition drink

jest b4 dinner - chicken soup and pudding - am moved to a regular room - w an actual bathroom w a door - a small portable monitor hooked up - with someone wheeling in blood pressure / respiratory monitor every few hours - and blood draws about every 4 and the long night goes on - at about 4 am look out window behind me and there is the moon - we posted the foto

after a reel bfast - eggs and biscuit - oatmeal - yogurt we have a "normal" ie no b ( yay ) -poop - augers well for being released

and here and now we r home

weak af and trepidation verging on terror of another

so in the hospital - everything is the brutal efficient overkill that is modern medicine but we aint gonna critique that today

happy 2 b home - unpoet and kitty - more kind messages than can respond 2 - but trying - sorry if we havent at least thanked u

hoping for some birdsong and sunshine onnna gospel sunday

"i know a place - aint nobody crying " sing it sister Mavis

can i get a hallelujah anyway

#poetry i guess #not the usual usual

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queer-devil · 6 months ago

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DRDT Incorrect Quotes Pt 3

Because I’m not ok and I will never be ok Jesus Christ why is October like this holy fucking—

Link to generator

Also warning most of these are prob ooc since they are emotion support

Ace: Can you be quiet?! I'm trying to think.

Arei: Don't worry. Doing anything for the first time is difficult.

Min: Hey, random question, what are your favorite flowers?

Teruko: Poppies, why?

Min:

Teruko: Were you going to get me flowers?

Min:

Teruko:

Min: ᶦᵗ’ˢ ᵃ ᵖᵒˢˢᶦᵇᶦˡᶦᵗʸ

Xander: And what do I get out of this?

David: I will give you a dollar.

Xander: What do you think I am? A chump? I would never do it for a dollar!

David: How about two dollars?

Xander: You got yourself a deal.

David: Ace, you're testifying in an aggravated assault case tomorrow, and the D.A. is worried about how you'll present yourself on the stand.

Ace: Why? I'm fine on the stand!

*flashback to Testimony #1*

Ace: Look, I'll make this real simple so even these dumdums can understand.

Ace, to the jury: MAN DID CRIME.

*flashback to Testimony #2*

Ace: I'm sorry, could you make her stop doing that weird thing with her face?

Defense Attorney, next to the crying defendant: ...Crying?

*flashback to Testimony #3*

Ace: And when this is over, I'm gonna find you and I'm gonna break those little fingers.

Judge: Could the witness please stop threatening the stenographer?

Xander: Oh, David, we have a visitor!

David: Don't tell me it's Teruko.

Xander: It's Teruko!

*Thump noise*

David, from the other room: What happened?!

Arei: Min’s shirt fell.

David: Why was it loud?

Arei: It had her inside.

*The Squad's cooking skills*

Whit: *master chef*

Eden: *knows a few recipes*

Rose: *can follow instructions on a box*

Charles: *made toast once*

Teruko: *banned from the kitchen*

Levi: Hopefully Ace has learned a lesson about respecting other people's feelings.

Ace: Oh, shut up and die Levi.

Min: Hey Arei, have you seen the photographer?

Arei: Nope. Have you seen the meat tenderizer?

Min, confused: What?

Arei, grabbing the meat tenderizer out of the drawer: No reason, cute girl things!

Rose: *working in a flower shop and minding her own business*

Ace, storming into the store and slapping $20 on the counter: HOW DO I PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVELY SAY “FUCK YOU” IN FLOWER???

*The squad has just arrived in a new city. Levi looks around at the wanted posters to see if he’s on any of them.*

Teruko: Levi, are you a criminal?

Levi: Not here, I’m not.

David: We’re all in this together. If one of us falls, we all fall. Nobody is expendable on this team.

Teruko: Sounds fake but ok.

Ace: I hate you.

Levi: Well, according to this picture I drew of us holding hands, that is untrue.

Min: If you bite it and you die, it's poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it's venomous.

Ace: What if it bites me and it dies?!

Min: Then you're poisonous. Jesus Christ, Ace, learn to listen.

Veronika: What if it bites itself and I die?

Min: That's voodoo.

Rose: What if it bites me and someone else dies?

Min: That's correlation, not causation.

J: What if we bite each other and neither of us die?

Arei: That's kinky.

Min: Oh my god.

Eden: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the things you lost throughout your life.

Min: It would be nice to have my sense of purpose back...

Whit: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this.

David: My will to live! I haven't seen this in years.

Rose: I knew I lost that potential somewhere.

Veronika: Mental stability, my old friend!

Eden: Jesus, could you guys lighten up a little?

Rose: Whoa, Min, what’s up with that angry face?

Min: Whit won’t stop talking about how “Ancient Egyptians were furries”.

Whit: But they were! Just looks at all their gods-

Min: Oh my god, SHUT UP!

Veronika: I refuse to apologize for being weird or off-putting. That’s actually your problem. I’m having a fantastic time!

All of the ones after this point are suggestive

Whit: You look good in that hoodie.

Charles: You know where else I'd look good?

Whit, zero hesitation: My bed.

Charles, at the same time: By your side- wait, what?

Whit: Charles, you do remember when we agreed we were better off as friends, right?

Charles, naked in Whit's bed: No, I absolutely do not.

Whit, already taking off his clothes: Fuck... Me neither.

Whit: There are 20 letters in the alphabet, right?

Charles: Nope, there's 26.

Whit: Ah, I must have forgotten U, R, A, Q, T.

Charles: That’s cute, but you're still missing one.

Whit: You'll get the D later ;).

Whit: As top in this relationship, I think we should-

Charles: I can't believe you're pulling rank on me.

Whit: I like your new pants!

Charles: Thank you, they were 50% off.

Whit: I’d like them better if they were 100% off. *winks*

Charles: The store can’t just give away clothes for free.

Whit: Thats’s… not what I meant.

Charles: That’s a terrible way to run a business, Whit.

Whit, with a headache: Advil me up, daddy.

Charles: I will short out the language centre of your brain if you say anything like that ever again.

Teruko: Who do we know that has handcuffs?

Whit: Well Charles and I-

Charles: *elbows Whit*

Whit: ...wouldn't know.

Ace: Is there a cactus where your heart should be?

Arei: What’s up your ass this morning!

Levi: *walks in* ...Hey.

Arei: Hmm… nevermind.

Ace: WAIT NO!

Arei: What’s your body count?

Levi: Do you mean sex or murder?

Ace: There. How do I look?

Levi: Like a cheap French harlot.

Ace: French?!

Charles: What’s sexting?

Teruko: I'm not having this conversation with you.

Arei, turning to J: Stop calling yourself hot, the only thing you can turn on is the microwave.

Eden: So anyways have y'all seen Ace?

Whit: I think they went in Levi's room 'studying'.

J: Doubt that. I heard groans there.

*Meanwhile in Levi's room*

Ace & Levi, fighting:

Ace: *sucking on a popsicle*

J: Pfft, you practicing for when Levi gets here?

Ace: *takes a huge ass bite out of the popsicle*

J: *Concern*

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serxinns · 7 months ago

Note

I've got a devious angstish idea...

SPOILERS INCASE U HAVENT READ THE MANGA THO(҂` ﾛ ´)

I luv yer blog btw..... platonic kisses >3<

Ok ok ok post war arc, Shigaraki with a little sister(or gender neutral :shrug:) he (unintentionally since he was confident he'd win..ggs) left behind. Class 2-A finds little reader and they feel bad cause shes just a little kid but she absolutely hates them and does everything she can to make their lives 10x harder (esp for All might)

She runs off and torments the first year's too—they can't get under control at all but they try. (Quirk isn't decay rather than returning things to their original form but it doesn't work on people. Like reducing a shirt back into cotton for examle. They had to get her special gloves hehe.)

A/n I got lazy with it so my apologies but I hope you enjoy!

Tw:MAJOR SPOILERS mentions of Shigaraki's death

"Y/n! I know you're responsible for this! Come here this instinct!" Aizawa's voice raised as he was searching around for the culprit. You then appeared from behind him, startling him a bit with that mischievous smile plastered on your face "Y/n, did you draw all might is a killer on the bathroom stall?" Aizawa glared at the mess and then at you. "No, I would never-!" "stop the act, young lady. Iida saw you got out of the bathroom with a red marker." Aizawa cut you off as you dropped the innocent act and glared, "Stupid snitch.."

"And just for that, you are gonna clean up this mess and make an apology card for all might" You froze up you didn't want that MONSTER to an apology, especially for what he did to your big brother

The flashbacks of you crying out for your brother in the destruction and debris surrounding and collapsing onto each other the moment you realize that these heroes killed your big brother the way you collapsed onto the ground and cried your heart out while the green-haired boy was comforting you, the way Mr. Aizawa started at you with sympathy and wanted to give you a better life so he adopted you and now your here forced to go to a school Shigaraki hates but you promise yourself to avenge him you promise that heroes were gonna suffer for what they did to him even if it means giving everyone especially all might Grey hair

"I'm never gonna make one, especially to HIM out of all people, and you can't make me!" Aizawa groaned while gaining a headache from your usual everyday tantrums "If you don't go apologize I'll make you spend time with him again and this time it'll be longer than before your eyes froze and shuddered to hear that you hated that punishment so much that you were on your "best behavior" for a whole week without pulling any pranks on all night it was a very hard and suffering challenge but worth it

So in defeat, you grabbed the paper muttered something, and walked off in defeat in your and Eri's room (you two share the same room) closing the door behind

Time skip

"I'm done!" You shouted wanting to get this over with as Aizawa opened the door "ok now let's go to all might and give it to him" What Aizawa didn't know was that you held a mischievous smile on your face hiding it behind an innocent sweet smile

As the two of you open the door to see All Might reading a book with coffee in hand, he looks over to see you and almost chokes out his coffee. "The demon child!?" His eyes widen you notice a sense of fear on his face which makes your grin stretch even wider making the blonde male uncomfortable and praying for God to have mercy on him he cleared his throat "Why hello young Shigaraki is there anything you need" he softly smiled at you as your smile twitch a bit "Y/n here wants to give you a apologize card she made all herself" Aizawa nonchalantly said as he urge you to give it to him as you did and quickly running off to who knows where

Aizawa was about to stop, but all were reassured it was ok. "It's fine, shouta let them they were prob overwhelmed." Aizawa rolled his eyes at the excuse of you being overwhelmed. Yeah, right. "Plus, I bet you y/n made a lovely- oh.." just when All Might opened the card he stopped what he was saying and stared at the drawing you made it was a drawing of you hitting All Might with a hammer as the card read "Sorry to banging on your nerves!"

They both looked at each other in silence, still staring at the card. "Thar little sh-" Toshinori came to your defense, "It's ok, Shouta, they're just a child! Plus I think the card is cute... he reassured the teacher and signed wondering what was he gonna do with you as he heard screaming a maniacal laughter coming from Bakugo Katsuki cheering you on as he heard the 1st year screaming and pleading for mercy as you laughed mischievously Aizwa and Toshinori both stared at each other again thinking the same thing

"Shit"

#mha fic #mha #my hero academia x reader #my hero academia #dark boku no hero #aizawa shouta #bnha aizawa #all might #my hero academia oneshot #sorry if it looks bad #sorry if its bad #lazy ficm #sfw #bnha fluff #bnha angst #bnha fanfiction #bnha manga spoilers #bnha spoilers

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bisexualspaghetti · 5 months ago

Text

👑✨ fashion or former star cop??

Someone has prob written metas about this (pls link if you know of any!), but is the startouch headdress we see in these depictions of Aaravos via storytelling flashbacks evidence that he was once a judge/star cop/member of the cosmic council?

Because ALL of the council judges are wearing very similar head gear to this albeit with the lower star diamond shape filled in and not with a void like our boy’s version x the gaping hole in his chest ope

Might just be startouch ✨fashion✨ but I’m out here like aw bestie lost his pretty crown, or maybe retired from the council when he became a daddy?, and I’m convinced we’re gonna see him wearing it again in s7 if we get more backstory 👀

Bonus 🦄 side note: the lil back of the head inward facing parts of our star mage’s horns are not pointy in a couple of the story telling artsy depictions, whereas they are looking *sharp* the rest of the time, so do we think his horns have changed and grown sharper with age/angst, or is it just artistic license? (prob just an unreliable narrator + intentionally fun and different art style vibe and i loveee this about the flashbacks but im obsessing bc i accidentally drew them smooth the one time i posted tdp fanart fml)

#Aaravos #the dragon prince #the mystery of aaravos #startouch elves #cosmic council #tdp #tdp aaravos #tdp s6 #tdp s7 speculation #startouch elf fashion #horn sharpness = angst

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notiddygothgf · 1 year ago

Text

𝟎

★ pairings: suguru geto x satoru gojo, satosugu

★ synopsis: Suguru Geto struggles with letting people in after leaving a three-year-long abusive relationship. Enter Satoru Gojo, the boy who doesn't seem to take no for an answer.

★ c.w.: slow burn, mutual pining, explicit sexual content, dub con elements, implied/referenced rape/non-con, mahito is a real abusive asshole, past relationship(s), past abuse, recovery, hurt, comfort, vent fic, based on my shitty ex, my therapist told me it'd be a good idea idk, im a good writer I swear, brought to u by the bch who wrote best friend's brother!choso, sexual tension, new love, fluff, angst, smutt, graphic, psychological trauma, theres a happy ending in here I swear, angst with a happy ending, psychological trauma, PTSD, idiots in love, sexy smut I swear.

★ a/n: NGL I kinda hate how this turned out. but! it had to be done! I had to get it out of the way. the way I think this is gonna work is past flashbacks first, present time next. it's gonna prob alternative between the two for a while. comment your thoughts! let me hear u! feel free to slander mahito... he plays the shitty ex.

★ w.c.; 3.4k

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

𝐔 𝐍 𝐅 𝐎 𝐑 𝐓 𝐔 𝐍 𝐀 𝐓 𝐄 𝐀 𝐈 𝐋 𝐌 𝐄 𝐍 𝐓

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

PROLOGUE

2019. MONTH UNKNOWN.

I WAS ONLY 12 YEARS OLD the first time I tried to kill myself. In retrospect, I can’t possibly imagine what could have been so important to little me that he firmly believed he would rather die than live without it. I wish I could say that I had a difficult life. That simply was not the case. I grew up with two loving parents and a kind brother, in a small town where every friend I’d ever had was within a mile of me at any given point in time. We weren’t rich, but we most certainly weren’t poor. I had everything a child could ask for and so much more.

Again, I wish that I could say I had a difficult life, but that simply was not the case.

It’s just that I’ve had these… thoughts for as long as I can remember. An unfortunate ailment, if you will. No matter what I did, there always seemed to be something missing. Something I felt I would spend my whole life searching for – or at least trying to supplement.

At 12 years old, I planned my first attempt.

It didn’t work.

So, now, faced with the unbearable burden of deciding what I was going to do for the rest of my life, I chose to pursue a childhood dream of mine. I wanted to go to school to become a doctor. I didn’t know what kind, per se, but I knew that I wanted to heal.

Maybe I thought, I don’t know… that if I healed enough people, I may have been rid of the ailment – healed, myself.

So I left my small town, enrolling in an academy 30 minutes away from the house. I got into their Healthcare program. Again, what more could a kid want?

Yet the void inside of me only grew larger, more ravenous. I lost touch with all of my small town friends – one by one. I had no one.

But I was pursuing my passion, right? Why wasn’t it enough?

It was in that godforsaken academy that I met him.

“Pick a card,” he asked me. His grey eyes were so sharp, even then. “Any card.”

I glanced down at the fanned-out deck in his pale hand, eyes crawling over the many different suits and shapes before eventually settling on an ace. I pulled the card out.

Ace of spades. I tried to memorize it. I also, coincidentally, tried my best to ignore the incessant thrum of my racing heartbeat against my veins, my arteries, my chest. He was sitting so close to me.

It was just the two of us in the hallway. Just me and him and the infinite space between us, the small gap between my right shoulder and his left.

I handed it back to him. “What are you doing?” I asked.

He slipped the card back into the deck without looking. He shuffled it once, twice, three times. Made a bridge with his hands and let the cards fall back into place. I watched with a remarkable sense of interest.

“Is this your card?” He tucked a stray blue hair behind his ear, producing a card.

I furrowed my brows, about to say something, when I noticed something off about the card. It was different. Where there once was a large blue spade, there now was a small, torn piece of lined paper taped to the surface. The gray lettering on the handwritten note read,

WILL U GO OUT W/ ME?

My eyes went as wide as saucers. My mouth lolled open, lips shaped around his cursed name, “Mahito, I…”

I thought of my parents. I thought of my religious father. What would he say? What would he say if he found out his 14-year-old son was a homosexual?

I thought of my parents, and I bit my lip, “I don’t know if I can… I don’t know. What if my dad finds out?”

Mahito tucked the deck of cards neatly into the pocket of his black cargo pants. His hoodie was rolled up to his elbows, revealing intricate stick-and-poke linework over his forearms. He shrugged, humming, “Who says he has to?”

The tardy bell rang. We were late for first period.

My mouth opened by itself again. At fourteen, I wasn’t so sure I was ready to lie to my father about something so serious. Not yet.

Seemingly sensing my hesitance, Mahito laid a hand on my stiff shoulder. “Hey,” he muttered softly. “Think about it. Give me your answer after school, yeah? We’ll meet here at 3:30.”

And then he slipped away with a quiet, ‘See ya’.

Without confirmation.

In his absence, I swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat.

2019 February.

Mahito ran away from home two weeks into our relationship. Ran away without so much as a notice or a warning. Ran away and left me there to assume the worst. He didn’t live in the best area. Perhaps he was staying with a friend? If not, was he dead in a ditch somewhere?

There was no way to tell.

He could have at least told me, I had thought. Then again, would I have tried to stop him? Undoubtedly.

They issued a missing persons alert the day after he didn’t show up. I remember seeing the poster all over my social media, all over the streetlights and posts.

It didn’t seem real. Even as I held the missing poster in my trembling hand, I remember feeling numb. I remember feeling as if this were all some sort of cruel prank, that he would be back just in time for our after-school walk with a smile on his face.

But there he was, smiling up at me from the page in my hand.

MISSING PERSON: MAHITO

Height: 5’8

Weight: 150

Eye color: gray

Hair color: blue

Remarkable features: tattoos on arms

Last seen: February 14th.

I crumpled the piece of paper up, tossing it across my messy bedroom with a sigh. I hadn’t slept last night, and I wouldn’t have slept tonight either.

I sunk into myself, curled into a ball on my twin-sized mattress – the same one I’d had for as long as I could remember – and cried. I was utterly inconsolable. I cried until my voice was hoarse, until there were no more tears left to cry.

Until my phone buzzed.

I assumed it was another homework notification. I didn’t check. What did it matter? In my eyes, my world had stopped spinning. It had stopped the moment he ran away.

But it buzzed again, and again.

It was then that I realized I was getting a call. Begrudgingly, I picked my phone up off of the bed. I turned it over. The screen was lit up with the words ‘NO CALLER ID’.

I wanted to hang up. Desperately. Wanted to save myself a shred of peace and dignity and move on with my night – in hindsight, I probably should have just hung up when I had the chance. But, no, I felt something in my gut call out to me.

Against my better judgment, I answered, “Hello?”

The line crackled. “Suguru?”

Suguru.

My heart leapt up into my throat. With wide eyes, I answered again, “Who’s this?”

“Suguru, it’s me, Mahito,” He sighed with relief, like he hadn’t expected me to pick up. Truth be told, I hadn’t expected it either. “I’m sorry I couldn’t call you sooner, my love. I’m calling you from a phone booth right now.”

My love. The nickname sounded like honey coming from his lips, but I knew it was laced with venom. Still, as would seem to be the trend, I was weak for it.

My eyes began to water again, somehow. “Where are you?”

I knew better than to call him ‘baby’. Not when my father was sleeping in the room next to mine.

“I can’t tell you that right now,” He answered. Of course, he couldn’t. There always seemed to be something he was hiding from me. I didn’t see it that way back then. “Look, I don’t have much time to talk, I–”

“I’ve been worried sick about you, Mahi,” I spoke again. I felt numb. So numb. “Please, just–”

“I stole ten grand from my mom,” He cut me off. “I’m running away from home. The abuse, it’s just– I can’t. I can’t, anymore.”

His mother was a real piece of shit. I knew that. She never wanted Mahito, not as a single mother. So she tried multiple times to be rid of him – beating him senseless with hangers and wires and even going so far as to attempt to poison him on his birthday.

Still, ten grand was a lot of money.

Stolen.

“I’m on the run from the cops, I– I think they’re trying to find me,” He panted into the microphone. “You can’t tell anyone, okay? You gotta lie for me.”

I felt sick. Sick to my fucking stomach.

“I’m sorry, I…” I trailed off, holding back vomit. “Hold on.”

I ran to the bathroom and promptly emptied the contents of my stomach into the sink. I had just eaten mac and cheese an hour or so ago, and the vomit was tinted yellow. I could still see a few noodles here and there, only partially digested.

It made me want to hurl again.

“You okay?” he asked me.

“Am I– No, I’m not fucking okay, Mahito! First, you run away without–” I had to swallow bile a second time. I felt it burn as it slid back down my throat. “You could have fucking warned me , or something, and now you’re calling me at eleven at night to tell me you’re fleeing the fucking cops?”

He paused. “I know,” he said. “I know, I’m sorry. You know I love you.”

And immediately, like some sort of magic trick, I felt my exterior soften. I didn’t even care that we were only a few weeks into our relationship. He was my first. It was like he knew the effect he had on me.

“Suguru,” he said again. “I love you.”

His words were like honey. I took a spoonful.

“I love you, too,” I sighed into the receiver.

“You’ll keep quiet about this for me, right?”

I was weak for him, as always.

“Okay,” I said.

I found myself sitting at my desk in the middle of the day, struggling to concentrate on the lesson. The classmates at my table – more like a group of desks placed together – were talking about the missing boy.

My missing boy.

They were talking to me, actually, but I had long since tuned them out. It was all a blur for me – a blur of faces and voices and words I didn’t want to hear.

“He’s a freak,” The boy across from me, Choso Kamo, remarked. “If I were you, I’d break things off before it’s too late.”

Choso’s critical words sent a sharp pang right through my rotten heart.

“Exactly,” My friend, Shoko, chimed in. She was a pretty thing, about a few inches shorter than me with brown hair up to her chin. She always looked so tired . I wonder if she recognized that I felt the same. “He’s got some serious issues. Guys like that rarely make for healthy relationships.”

Choso leaned in, leaned over the desk to offer more of his thoughts, “You can’t just ignore the fact that more people are catchin’ on, either. What if your dad finds out? You know he thinks that… kind of stuff is wrong.”

Choso was Shoko’s friend. He wasn’t homophobic. A little misguided, but he had the spirit. Hell if he weren’t a raging heterosexual, I might have even gone for him instead. He had that look I liked – sleepy, downturned, dark eyes framed by messy bangs. He never wore colors. He was content to make a statement in black. Black eyeliner, black shirt, black doc martens, black hair done up into two messy pigtails.

It was his signature look.

Our classmates didn’t take too kindly to ‘emos’ like him, though. He was an outcast. Hell, we all were. That’s why we sat together, after all.

The harsh opinions of my classmates threatened to erode my self assurance. I knew people were talking – people always talked. I knew the hushed whispers of my name as I walked past people and cliques in the mornings on my way to class weren’t a hallucination.

I knew I had to stand by my boyfriend. I knew I had to stand by Mahito, but the weight of their disapproval put a strain on my shoulders. Does anyone want to hear that their friends don’t approve of their partner?

Admittedly, he wasn’t a very good partner. He had demonstrated that much in the first few weeks of our relationship. I knew he wasn’t good for me, but, fuck, I wanted to try. I wanted to make things work so badly that I ached for it. Everyone else knew he wasn’t good for me, too.

But, fuck, was I naive to wish I could prove them all wrong?

In my eyes, he was only misunderstood. The ghosting, the red flags, the alarming behavior… I could see past it all because I loved him. My first love. No one understood him the way I did. How could I blame them for their concerns?

It didn’t matter how many voices I had in my ear telling me it was wrong. Soon, he would come home to me, and I would feel his skin against my cheek as I hugged him hello. That’s all that mattered.

How could that be wrong?

“It’s not wrong. How could it be?” I kept my gaze trained on my desk. My vision was blurry, unfocused. My mind felt numb and detached. I muttered. “I love him. He loves me, too. He told me he did.”

He did.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Choso and Shoko exchange a dubious look.

They didn’t understand him the way I did.

“He told me he loved me,” I repeated the words like a mantra, like a reminder to myself that I was fighting for something.

That as long as I was loved by him, I would be okay.

He called again that night. Earlier, this time, at nine o’clock.

I was in the shower at that time, curled up on the floor, sobbing into my arms. The water streamed past my shoulders, my arms, my nose. I glanced over at the screen through blurry eyes.

NO CALLER ID.

I closed my eyes. I took a deep breath.

Then, I let the call ring.

Current Day.

[12:13 PM]

[Automated]: you have 3 new messages. Play back?

[USER] Selected:

[NO] ...

... [View Inbox]

...

[ Last 6 Years ].

[REPLAY>>] Message from 'Blocked Number'.

Transcription:

" Suguru, this is me, Mahito. I don’t know if you can hear me or not– I don’t know if anyone can hear you or not, so please use headphones, or something, I don’t know. I just wanted to call and make sure you’re okay. I’m gonna try and call you later. Right now you seem to not be answering your phone for some reason. Doesn’t matter, though. I’m not in a really good place, right now, I’m… surrounded by a lot of people. So, um.. I just wanted to say that I love you, and I’ll call you a little bit later, okay? Bye– kisses…….”

[End of Transcription]

[Automated]: Would you like to play the next message?

[ Yes. ]

“ Suguru, is this– this is me, Mahito. Um.. I just wanted to say that I’m okay. Nothing has happened to me yet. I’m perfectly safe. I’m in a laundromat somewhere. And, uh, I said I love you… I don’t know why you’re not answering my calls… You know that I always try to text you whenever I can– and try to… call you, but… I don’t know, maybe you’re too depressed, or some shit. Maybe you’re mad at me. I understand. I– what I did was wrong, I… What I did was idiotic, and what I did was stupid, and shitty… And I understand if you’re mad at me and you don’t wanna answer my calls. So, yeah, I gues… I’ll try to call you again tomorrow.

If you’re hearing this voicemail, but you probably won’t, um… I just want you to know that I love you. And I’m trying to do my best just… to see you again. You like pizza, don’t you? How about we do a pizza date sometime, yeah? Somewhere around next week, maybe. Huh? How about that? Sounds cool, right? Yeah, yeah it does. Um, anyway, I… gotta… I gotta go. I have to… do some things. Uh… uh… at least I love you.

And, I– I might not have brought much with me, but I have the little stuffie that you gave me. It’s in my book bag. Not gonna take it out because people are gonna know what my things look like. I’m always gonna keep these memories close to my heart. I don’t care what anybody says. Even if I go to prison, I’m taking this shit with me. Alright? Um, I guess that’s it. And… last thing? I love you.

Please, answer me. If you’re calling, that means you actually care, but if you don’t, then… it’s fine. Don’t recall this number. I’m not gonna respond. This is just some random guy’s phone. Okay? Um… I love you, and please stay safe. Please don’t worry, I’m still alive. I miss you. Okay, bye, I love you.”

[End of Voicemails Received on February 18th, 2019].

[Automated]: Would you like to replay the messages?

[ No. ]

[ Delete ] > [ All messages from {Blocked Number}]

[Automated]: Are you sure?

[Yes]

[Automated]: Deleting all messages from {Blocked Number}.

THE WIND BLEW IN HEAVY from below, sending a plethora of leaves flying out in all directions. As I knelt down to test the current with my fingers, my boots sank deeper into the muddy riverside.

I sat on the bench in front of the riverbed. Wiping my fingers dry on the fabric of my denim jeans, I took a moment to take in my surroundings. The park was mostly empty, save for a few teenagers

The water always looked pretty this time of year. For a few moments, you stood there drinking in the sight of it.

In the present, I sat alone in front of the serene lake, surrounded by the picturesque beauty of nature. Lush green trees lined the shore, their leaves rustling in the gentle breeze. The scent of damp earth and the distant call of birds created a peaceful atmosphere, contrasting with the turmoil in my mind.

I watched as groups of carefree teenagers ran around, their laughter and joy a stark contrast to the heavy weight I carried in my heart. A deep sigh escaped my lips as I averted my gaze towards the shimmering water.

I wished for the water to possess the power to cleanse me, to wash away the burdens that weighed on my soul.

The sound of the water rushing past was almost deafening, drowning out the laughter of the teenagers. It consumed my thoughts, leaving me with an overwhelming feeling of dread and isolation. I yearned for the water to offer solace, as if it held the key to absolution and a fresh start, but it remained an unsettling reminder of my own inner turmoil.

I had a vision every time I came here for some peace of mind. It was the same vision every single time. It plagued me every time I found myself in front of the water. It was an image of me, standing at the water's edge, and then, with a deep sense of despair, throwing myself into it, sinking into the abyss and drowning.

As I sat there, the scenery around me seemed to blur, and the vision of my drowning self played on a loop in my mind, a relentless nightmare that I couldn't escape. The lake, which should have been a source of tranquility, had become a symbol of my pain and a relentless reminder of my inner struggles.

It seemed to call to me. I could almost hear the wind carry my name.

Suguru.

The water always looked pretty this time of year. I sat there watching it for a moment too long, wondering what it would feel like to be enveloped by the cold current, to feel it wash me away.

And, again, the sound of the current grew louder. Deafening. Consuming me.

a/n: l comment and lmk what u think pookiesss

comments + reblogs are greatly appreciated!!

I obviously do not own jjk or anything related to it. please do not reproduce, copy, or translate my works anywhere. dont fk w me im a bruja.

taglist: @missphanosaur18 , @bontensbabygirl, @megumissunshine, @chocoyanchan, @littlelovebug98, @lucisimpongod, @xochyw, @jaegerstan222 , @electro-supremacy, @mellytheteddy, @clover0310 , @soraya-daydreams, @priussy, @insanehumantinker, @staygoldsquatchling02, @nonksity, @hinata7346, @chososwhoresblog, @mindurownbussines , @hearts4sid , @simplefools , @ynjimenez

wanna join the taglist?| mlol; chapter index

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nothums-from-tj · 9 months ago

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Returning to my series of “barely anyone else cares abt this ship that I’m crying over so I’m gonna make a post abt them myself”: Mordeson edition

If you don’t like the ship please just fuckin scroll I don’t need anyone clowning today thnx

I have so many things I want to write and draw however I am so overwhelmed so I’m spewing my nonsense onto Tumblr to feed the like 3 people paying attention to these dorks <3 for the most part here are just like tiny little hcs/moments/ideas of them that have infected my brain. Cut provided to make it not unbelievably long for the rest of my followers

Categories: headcanons, ideas, “cutaways” (basically my iterations of what happens post-episode endings or in the midst of flashbacks/stories, between scenes, etc.)

I’d also like to thank @mushtoons for letting me yap abt them in DMs/on Discord, some of these in which I’m copy/pasting from my side of conversations with them <3

Headcanons:

-Mordecai sometimes patches up Benson’s hand(s) after usually breaking it by punching something out of anger on varying occasions

-the way they likely comforted one another during the Margaret, CJ, and Audrey heartbreaks with Benson probably gave Mordecai harder/grosser jobs to keep his mind off things and Mordecai gave Benson excuses to head home late to lessen the chances of bumping into Audrey

-the car radio along with show/movie nights consist of more bickering than watching/listening to anything

-Benson is the Worst backseat driver and Mordecai has to try to politely tell him he’s going to lose his mind if he tells him where to make the correct turn to both of their place of work; that said, for both of their sanity, Benson usually drives when they’re together

-there are days where Mordo has to literally force Benson to stay home bc he's either so sick he can hardly stand, so overwhelmed he can't think, or is in so much pain his body is practically crumbling beneath him

-sometimes when Benson gets reeeally into a beat, drumming on the steering wheel or a pen against his clipboard or something of the sort, Mordecai will try to start singing along to it so he’ll remember it for practice or whatever

-he has thrown hands over people trashing Benson behind his back

-and he has to semi-frequently talk/hold Benson out of a self-deprecating spiral

-Mordecai's parents absolutely adore Benson and were some of the first people to say "so when's the wedding!!!!" when first introducing him as his bf

-the opposite happened when Benson introduced Mordecai to his parents; I’d say his parents got divorced when he was young and his mom was kinda chill though his dad was kinda passive aggressive and just didn’t really put in a lot of heart, though Mordecai learned a lot more abt him from his dad than his mom

-Mordecai is the first to say “I love you” and Benson bawls on the spot

-Mordecai draws/doodles Benson during meetings/assignments when he starts to develop feelings for him

-Mordecai gets crazy flustered at pet names bc he doesn’t expect them whatsoever; he’s always been the one giving them rather than receiving, though he always appreciates them

-Benson is also crazy touch starved while Mordecai can be pretty jealous so usually in public they’re always seen touching in some way; one leg over the other when sitting, handholding when walking, an arm around the other’s waist/shoulders, etc.

-they prob hooked up at least 1 (one) time pre-relationship and swore they’d never tell anyone abt it

-Margaret and Mordecai are platonic soulmates as much as it is a dismay to most their romantic relationships; Benson is the first/only one of Mordecai's partners to fully accept this

Ideas (if anyone writes these before I get around to them pleeeeease please send it to me I’d cry /pos):

-swap AU of sorts where they have a secret relationship while Rigby and Eileen are more “center of attention”

-in addition, switching up Benson and CJ in a lot of scenarios make a lot of sense (specifically thinking of “New Year’s Kiss” and “Thomas’ Play Date”)

-Benson is such a little cuddle bug, Mordecai gets totally thrown off guard by how affectionate he is when they start dating

-Benson gets stuck having to watch his sister’s kid for the day while on the clock and as much as he loves seeing and hanging out w them he can’t do much while at work, asks Mordecai and Rigby to hang out w them for a bit until he’s done what he needs to and he later gets confused why his heart does weird flip-floppy things to see Mordecai being an amazing babysitter later

-Benson having a rough day mentally and asks to reschedule a date, which Mordecai asks if he’s ok and wants company which he doesn’t wanna “be a burden” or thinks Mordo won’t want to be around his sad self all day and he has to be kinda regularly reminded, “You’re my boyfriend, Ben. I always want you around.”

-Benson getting nightmares and/or flashbacks of the dome experiments and Mordo does his best to help through the severe paranoia and skittishness in the morning, unless he wakes up to it happening and he’s able to help him through it/get back to sleep

Cutaways:

-“In The House” Benson was nowhere to be seen until after Rigby finished his house/wizard story which Benson was like right next to Mordecai so I like to think Benson walked in early-ish into Rigby’s story and it’s Mordecai that beckoned him over to include him in the storytelling

-“Weekend At Benson’s” post-ending in which Benson maybe just felt too horrible to bring himself home so he hangs out at the house where Mordecai figures if he and Rigby feel awful already, Benson’s gotta be going through the same thing 10 fold so he sits with him all day doing his best to provide comfort and consolation while Benson spends half the day vomiting and sobbing from the searing pain in his throat

-“Eggscellent” after Benson getting punched, in which Skips probably had to be the one to tell Benson in private that while it’s ok for him to be scared and concerned and to feel betrayed and disrespected, what he said to Mordecai also wasn’t cool before explaining Jonathan Kimble and the journal he found; after apologizing to Mordecai he tries so hard to prove himself by being his biggest cheerleader, trying not to question the eagerness to be by his side and sudden overprotective urges

-“Return of Mordecai and the Rigbys” I think maybe a little bit too much abt the times they’re sent to the hospital and being the first two awake to have a few minutes to chat privately, and some of the dialogue I had in mind to not make this post even longer

-“Dumptown, USA” particularly when Benson went after Audrey broke up w him; maybe he left his phone behind, maybe he didn’t, and I doubt he was gone nearly as long as Mordecai, though he might’ve still been gone a few days to a week and incredibly hard to reach, leaving everyone else panicking over Benson not showing up to work to the point of sending a wellness check and getting ready to file a missing persons report by the time he comes back; Mordo’s the first to see him and instinctively runs to give him a hug, surprising them both

-“White Elephant Gift Exchange” with Benson being pretty OCD coded, similar to the first hc above following the “glove incident” where Benson likely washed his hands like 6 times to the point of cracking bc he didn’t feel “clean” enough (speaking as somebody with OCD and similar experiences)

This isn’t even remotely all of what I have this is just long enough already and I’m trying to figure out how I wanna execute the rest LOL. Anyway if anything here strikes inspiration feel free to write/draw/whatever and tag me bc I’m itching for more content of them I’m losing my mind <3 feel free to talk to me abt these dorks in DMs or my ask box too!!!!

#mordeson #I hate crosstagging help #regular show #mordecai regular show #benson dunwoody

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manic-sapphic · 1 month ago

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just an spop rant <3

when shit got real to the point that what could, might, & prob would happen to adora became conditions out of catra's control -

she didn't need to be threatened into it. she knew what that would mean for adora, cause she'd been forced to watch it first hand. this time? she willfully suffered "the consequences in her place."

and adora's ability to accomplish what she said to bow at the end of s4?-

"we're going to get glimmer back. and we're going to save the universe."

seems like a much taller order from no princess left behind when mermista straight up says "idk, that sounds like a looot"

but they do it, and by they, i mean adora & catra. catra is literally who saved the universe. adora was only able to defeat prime cause catra was there w her & straight up refused to leave her "on her own." but it wasn't cause catra was hell-bent on saving everyone. she just knew she couldn't just let adora die, the same way adora couldn't "just leave her there." if the world burned, catra wanted to be with adora. but catra also wanted the opportunity to do everything she could to try n keep that from happening.

she wanted them both to wake up tomorrow, to a whole new world.

& idfc what argument you have against it, tbh -

adora knocks that gross old lady bitch's talons off her after hearing catra cry out in pain. a 2nd time adora chose love over duty. over what's perceived by her to be some sorta required sacrifice. a 2nd time adora let herself be what some might label as "selfish." but it's just not.

& gross old talon lady? she pushes adora to do what she almost seems to have been grooming her for her entire life up until the last second ("i've been watching you the whole way in. you've been in here before, haven't you?") FUCK - like, how tf can anyone not pick up on the importance of that? sw tries to basically drag adora along to the heart and just. keeps. pushing.

"don't lose your focus, we're so close" - however, the translation?

"don't lose your focus. i'm so close." so close to getting all the power she's "ever wanted."

even when adora hears catra scream and wants to turn back? - sw? "adora, wait!"

and sw stares for a moment at that flickering, pulsing orb of magic energy. and maybe some take that as her moment where she decides to save catra instead of tryna take the magic.

HAH. bull shit. it ain't. it's the moment she still selfishly looked at the freaking beautiful radiance of that magic & realized there was no chance it'd ever be "set free" unless catra was the one to walk adora to the heart.

her sacrifice was anything but selfless. in so, so many ways, it was nothing but selfish. she didn't do it to save anybody. she raised both those girls as pawns to her own purposes.

she got her way by dying. that's it.

& if i may retrace my steps a bit, gonna go back to bow just before catra's holograms are conjured on the way to the heart --

"and when we get back, it'll be a whole new world."

it's no coincidence that adora's memories of catra appear at that. a new world? where it's not just bright moon that's bright? the whole damn world? hell yeah. but... wait..

'it'll be a world without catra.. and i already submitted myself to a world without catra for a few years. & partly cause i felt like i had no other choice.

but it's taken a toll i'm only slowly becoming aware of and... i don't think i want that world.. i think i want catra.'

...

i think i may subconsciously liken prime's "light" to be the kinda sterile, cold glare of the sorta fluorescence you'd typically find somewhere like a hospital or prison. there's just no warmth to the hue.

the light in other instances, like the blue hue of adora's true she-ra transformation, or when adora looks out at the stars, thinking of catra; even beforehand, w catra staring up at the gradually aligning celestial bodies above her, and even further back- in the dusty shadows of some sorta small storage area during the corridors flashback..

there's something to be said for that kinda light. it's not harsh or glaring. you don't feel exposed under a spotlight. it's more like the light of flickering flames in total darkness.

it's a glow.

#spop #catradora #she ra #adora #catra #feeling real rambly #spop rant #spop analysis #spop meta #my writing

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