#here it is late in true fashion of mine

[requiemforthepoets]

this time, i’ll love you much better

PAIRINGS: fernando alonso x ex-wife!reader

SUMMARY: your daughter had been insistent on you letting her attend a summer camp miles away from home, she was relentless, until you had gave up and let her go.

REMINDERS: this is purely fiction, the way how the character is portrayed in my story does not reflect to the person that is portraying my character in real life. always separate fiction from reality, and do not repost or copy my work in any way.

WARNINGS: no use of y/n, divorce, singe dad nando (for the meantime), piercing of ears, cutting hair, typos, not proofread, switching places, named characters (except yours), camp pranks, twin civil war, and cursing.

WORD COUNT: 8.9k

AUTHOR’S NOTE: hi! i had already posted this fic before, but i decided to rewrite it bc i didn’t like how i wrote it before😅 it will be turned to series (again), and indecided to chop off other stuff and expound the story more. this was inspired by the movie ‘parent trap’ (1998), which is a favorite and comfort movie of mine. also, pls don’t pierce your own ear, this was just for the sake of the story, pls have your ears pierced by a professional!

to those who had read this fic before, i hope thay you’ll like this new version. comments and reblogs are highly appreciated. enjoy reading!

ONE - CAMP WALDEN

𖤓 𝒔𝒆𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒔 𝒎𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕 | 𝒑𝒍𝒂𝒚𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕 | 𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒕 𝒕𝒘𝒐 ☽

The warm evening breeze filtered through the lush gardens, the soft, ambience music mingling with the chatter of guests dressed in gowns and suits as elegant as the event itself. You moved gracefully, a familiar figure gliding through the crowd, your hand wrapped loosely around the delicate crystal glass filled with champagne.

Tonight was no different than most—a charity gala held in one of the grand halls that you frequented as often as you flew to Paris for fashion week. Your gown, a soft blush with intricate beading that glimmered under the lights, seemed to cast a spell on those around you, but you barely even noticed. Your mind drifted as you nodded politely at the familiar faces, murmuring polite greetings. Even here, surrounded by prestige and opulence, your thoughts inevitably lingered somewhere else, somewhere that was far away from this world.

There was a gentle tug on the fabric of your dress, and you looked down to see Jullianna standing there, her eyes bright as she held a small, sleepy smile.

“Mama,” she whispered, reaching her arms up. She was the spitting image of you in those early years, with her curious eyes and calm demeanor that could enchant anyone.

“Are you tired, my love?” You knelt down, gently pulling her into your arms, and brushing a stray lock of hair behind her ear.

She nodded, her small hands curling into the fabric at your shoulder. “Can we go home soon?”

“Just a little longer, darling.” You whispered, smiling as you kissed the top of her head as you stood, now hold her close.

You felt a wave of guilt at keeping her here so late, but knowing these kinds of events, it is a part of your life, it is a life you led—a life you had built carefully, elegantly, for her.

The evening passed in a blur, and as you settled into the back of the car with Jullianna asleep in your arms, your mind wandered, as if often did, to Fernando. Your divorce had been for the best, you had convinced yourself of that a long time ago. His world had always been one of constant movement—racing, travel, and late nights. For you, a life of slower elegance, deeply rooted in tradition and legacy, had never meshed well with the constant, fast-paced nature of his life. It had always been difficult to explain to friends or even to yourself in those early years, but you knew it was true, that there were some things that are simply not meant to be.

Twelve years had passed since the day you made the decision, standing in that quiet empty house, feeling like half of you had walked out the door with him and Sofia. You had returned to France almost immediately, not even wanting to stay in the place you once called home with him, and eventually, your heart led you further east—to Singapore, where you thought the new environment might help you leave behind the memories that clung to you like shadows.

That night, as you tucked Jullianna into bed, you sat by her side, brushing a gentle hand through her hair, and whispering the same words you did every night in her sleep, her lips curved into a faint smile, and left you feeling a bittersweet pang.

“Je t’aime, ma belle.” You kissed her forehead softly.

As you left her room, the silence of the night settled around you. Sitting alone in your home office, your gaze fell on a photograph tucked into the corner of your shelf—a rare family picture that was taken on the twins’ first birthday. Fernando was holding Jullianna, while you held Sofia. It was before the late-night arguments that began over small things and grew louder, sharper, until one day they no longer seemed fixable.

A knock on your door had pulled you from your thoughts. It was your housekeeper, Madeline, carrying your tea in your hand.

“Madame, here’s the nightly tea that you had requested earlier.” She said, her voice soft as she set the tea down.

“Thank you so much, Madeline.” You replied and smiled warmly at her.

The moment Madeline had left your office, closing your door softly, you took a deep breath and closed your eyes. A thousand unsaid words had echoed in your head and missed memories washed over you like a tidal wave. Despite everything, there was still that part of you that would always wonder about the family you had left behind, that would forever miss the sound of Fernando’s laugh, how Sofia had wrapped her little arms around your neck as a baby, and the way you once felt—whole.

“Oh, Fernando…if only things had been different.” A single tear streaming down your face as you whispered into the night, as if speaking to the wind itself.

The words hung in the air, unanswered, as the ache in your heart settled back like a familiar companion, and as the city lights glimmered through your window, you realized that maybe, sometimes memories were meant to be kept as they were—frozen in time, a bittersweet reminder of a love that once was.

It was a warm summer afternoon, the sun streamed gently through the windows of your home office, casting a soft, golden glow over the polished mahogany furniture. Outside, the manicured gardens were in full bloom, but your focus was entirely on Jullianna, who was seated on the white velvet couch, her face alight with excitement. She had been pleading her case for the better part of an hour, her cheeks flushed and her eyes sparkling.

“Please, Mama,” she said, voice laced with hope as she clasped her hands. “It’s just for the summer! Camp Walden is supposed to be amazing! They have horseback riding, fencing, tennis, archery, and all kinds of activities.”

You tilted your head, smiling slightly as you watched her. Jullianna’s enthusiasm was really contagious, yet the thought of sending her somewhere far away, even for just a few weeks, filled you with a strange kind of emptiness. Jullianna was your heart, your world, the one who grounded you in all these years since the divorce. Letting her go, even briefly, felt like tearing away a part of yourself.

“I don’t know, darling,” you murmured, brushing a hand over the silk of your blouse as you gathered your thoughts. “You’ve never been away from home before, and this camp is so far away. What if you need something? What if…” your voice trailed off, concern evident in every word.

“Mama, I’ll be fine, I swear!” Jullianna leaned forward, her small hands resting gently on yours as she assured you, voice steady and wise beyond her years. “You’ve always said that being independent is important, and I think I’m ready. Besides, it’ll also be a great opportunity for me to learn new things and make new friends. I promise I’ll write to you everyday!”

“You know, my love,” you said softly, “it’s not that I don’t trust you. It’s just that it is hard for me to imagine you being so far away, without me there to make sure you’re safe.”

“That’s why Tante said she’d check in on me. She lives so close—just an hour away! She said she’d visit every week to make sure I’m doing okay.” She said as she squeezed your hands.

That part did soothe you, if only a little. Your sister, always the adventurous one, had been quick to support the idea, insisting that it would be good for Jullianna to experience a little bit of independence. But still, the decision weighed heavily. You had spent every moment of Jullianna’s life by her side, and you had always been protective, especially after all the things that had happened with Fernando. The mere thought of her being away from you, even in a structured, prestigious environment, felt like an unfamiliar stretch.

“Alright. Just promise me one thing, Jullianna,” you finally said, soothing her hair back from her face as you looked at her with tender seriousness. “Promise me that if anything feels wrong or if you ever feel scared, you’ll tell someone right away. You’ll let Tante know, or write to me, and we’ll bring you back home.”

“I promised, Mama. I’ll tell you everything, and I’ll call Tante if I need anything.” A small smile spread across her face, and then she added softly, “thank you for letting me go.”

“Always remember, my darling,” you said, leaning down to kiss her forehead, “that there is no place I wouldn’t go to bring you back if you needed me.”

You sighed, and you pulled her for an embrace. The weight of your decision finally settling over you. As you pulled back, her eyes glistened with a mixture of excitement and understanding.

“I know, Mama. I’ll miss you so much, too.” She smiled.

You began gathering the essentials for her time at Camp Walden, and there were moments you found yourself staring at her empty bed or the corner where her favorite books were stacked, a sense of bittersweet filling up your heart. The house already felt quieter, emptier in a way you had not expected, and she hadn’t even left yet. But, you knew that letting her go, allowing her to experience this bit of independence, was necessary, even if it made your heart ache.

A few weeks later, the day arrived. You watched as the car pulled up in front of the sprawling, tree-lined grounds of Camp Walden. Other girls were already waving and chattering with excitement, and you felt a pang of wistfulness as you saw them heading off to the cabins. You stood with Jullianna, adjusting her hat, dusting off an imaginary dirt on her clothes, and brushing stray hair from her face.

“Be good, be safe, and remember everything we talked about.” You said, voice a little unsteady.

Jullianna wrapped her arms around you, her embrace warm and firm. “I’ll see you soon, Mama. Thank you for letting me come.”

You nodded, holding her tightly for a moment before letting her go. As she joined the other campers, you stayed rooted to the spot, watching her until she disappeared into the crowd. There was a strange sense of emptiness as you climbed back into the car, already missing the sound of her laughter beside you.

For now, you leaned back and sighed as you closed your eyes. The image of Jullianna’s smiling face etched into your heart, as the car began its journey back to the airport where your private jet was waiting for you to fly you back to Singapore.

It all started with a tennis match on a warm afternoon, the kind of day where the sun blazed high and relentless, and the sounds of campers filled the air around the sprawling grounds. Jullianna had signed up for the camp’s tennis tournament on a whim, hoping to try her hand at something new and shake off the lingering homesickness that came in waves when she least expected it. Her new found friends had cheered Jullianna on as she walked onto the court, her ponytail swinging and her competitive spirit freshly ignited.

Across the net, Sofia stood waiting, expression cool and confident. She had her own group of friends watching from the sidelines, whispering excitedly and glancing between the two girls with eager anticipation. From the moment the match began, it was clear as daylight that it wasn’t going to be an ordinary game. Every swing, rally, sharp glance, and return was met with a fierce determination, each of them fighting to outdo the other, and neither of them are willing to back down.

The twins’ heated match had caught other campers' attention from their respective activities and gathered around the court, sensing the tension in the air, and whispering amongst themselves. It wasn’t everyday that they witnessed a match this heated, not even during the annual camp tournaments.

“Is that all you’ve got?” Sofia taunted as she shot Jullianna a glance from across the net, smirking. It was enough of a challenge to spark something in Jullianna.

Jullianna’s eyes narrowed, gripping her tennis racket tighter as she retorted. “Oh, you haven’t seen anything yet.”

She fired a powerful serve that sent the ball rocketing across the net, forcing Sofia to scramble. But Sofia, with her practiced ease, returned it with just as much force, refusing to let Jullianna gain the upper hand.

The game went on like this, each point hard-fought and full of grit, until finally, with a final stroke, Sofia won the match. She tossed her racket aside, beaming at her friends, who cheered wildly from the sidelines. Meanwhile, Jullianna, panting and flushed with exertion, felt the bitter sting of defeat, and glared at Sofia, unable to believe that she had lost, but her pride would not let her stay silent.

“You got lucky.” Jullianna muttered, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Oh please!” Sofia said smoothly, her tone dripping with sarcasm as her smirk widened. “If that’s what you need to tell yourself.”

Before Jullianna could fire back, her stance ready to pounce on Sofia if needed just to wipe off that annoying smirk of her, Stella, the camp assistant, with wide eyes and a gentle disposition, stepped forward, looking flustered. Stella glanced back and forth between the two girls, a confused expression evident on her face.

“Uh…Jullianna…Sofia…” she stammered, clearly unnerved by how alike they looked. “Girls, let’s calm down. It was just a match, let’s shake hands and put this friendly rivalry to rest, okay?”

Neither Jullianna nor Sofia seemed to hear Stella. Each of them was far too wrapped up in her annoyance and indignation, unwilling to back down. It was really uncanny—looking at a pair of mirrors that refused to acknowledge their reflection. But when Stella opened her mouth again to address it, both girls had already disappeared, leaving the camp assistant standing alone, bewildered.

What followed over the next few days was nothing short of a civil war. Each girl, armed with a fierce competitive spirit, began to pull pranks on each other, each more elaborate than the last, and Sofia, being a seasoned camper, had the advantage of knowing the camp’s hidden corners and tricks, but Jullianna proved to be a quick learner, catching up faster than anyone had anticipated.

One morning, Jullianna woke to find her cabin floor littered with marble and lego pieces, strategically placed so she’d slip the moment her feet touched the ground. She had managed to avoid the worst of it, but not without a near-fall that sent her stumbling and feet aching over the lego pieces. When she arrived at breakfast, she spotted Sofia across the mess hall, smirking and laughing with her friends, Jullianna narrowed her eyes, a silent vow forming in her head.

Oh it’s on, Sofia Alonso.

The next day, it was Jullianna’s turn to get back at Sofia. She placed a bucket of water, that was mixed with two big boxes of sugar that she and her friends were able to snatch from the camp’s kitchen, balanced precariously on the ledge. As soon as Sofia opened her cabin door and stepped through, it tipped, dousing her from head to toe, smelling and sticky because of the sugar that was mixed with the water. The sound of Jullianna and her friends’ laughter echoed from somewhere nearby, and she greeted her teeth.

The pranks continued to escalate further—each one more creative and outrageous than the last. Sofia had retaliated by sneaking a couple of live frogs into Jullianna’s cabin, knowing how she hated frogs to the core, and hiding them in her bed just before lights out. The next morning, Jullianna’s scream echoed across the campgrounds, sending other campers into fits of laughter.

This caused the other campers to watch the spectacle unfold, some even placing bets on who would win their latest round of pranks. It became the talk of the camp, and soon, even the counselors started to take notice of it, their amusement gradually giving way to concern.

However, the tipping point came on a humid afternoon when Sofia’s latest prank went awry. She had meticulously planned to replace Jullianna’s shampoo with a mixture of sticky maple syrup and glue, convinced it would finally give her the upper hand once again. But, in a twist of fate, the camp director herself, Marva, just happened to use Jullianna’s shower stall that day. The furious yelp that echoed through the cabin when the sticky concoction met her hair was one no one would forget anytime soon.

Marva stormed into the mess hall that evening, her hair ruined and still a very sticky mess despite doing her best effort to wash it out thoroughly, but the stickiness was making it impossible.

“Jullianna Young! Sofia Alonso!” She barked, voice cutting through the chatter of the other campers like a whip.

Jullianna and Sofia, who had been sitting at opposite ends of the hall, both stiffened, exchanging a glance across the room. They knew very well that they were in big trouble, but neither was prepared for the scolding that followed.

“I have had enough of this nonsense!” Marva snapped, glaring at them both. “You two have disrupted this camp long enough with your childish rivalry. I don’t know what’s going on between the two of you, but whatever it is, it stops now.” Both girls just remained silent, each of them secretly fuming at the other.

Marva took a deep breath, clearly struggling to keep her composure. “Since neither of you seem capable of behaving properly, you’ll be spending the rest of your time here together in the isolation cabin. No pranks, no game, and no tennis matches. Just the two of you, side by side.”

A collective gasp rippled through the mess hall as the campers exchanged shocked glances. The isolation cabin was notorious—it is a small, rustic cabin far from the main grounds, used for serious disciplinary issues. Jullianna opened her mouth to plead her case, but Marva held up a hand, silencing her immediately.

“Not another word.” Marva sent Jullianna a pointed look. “Gather all of your things, both of you. You’ll be escorted there tonight.”

As the mess hall fell silent, the girls shot one last, seething glance at each other before trudging out of the mess hall, each silently blaming the other. Neither of them had any idea what awaited them in that cabin, but they were both determined to make sure the other regretted every prank, every stolen moment of peace.

The isolation cabin loomed under the silver light of the moon, its walls pressing down with a silence that seemed heavier than the woods surrounding it, and the faint smell of old pine mingling with the summer air drifted through the cracked window. Jullianna stepped inside, her gaze sweeping over the modest setup—- single room with two narrow beds on opposite walls, a small wooden table on each side, and the dim bulb hanging from the ceiling, casting faint shadows that only added to the sense of confinement. It is not really the kind of space where two strong-willed girls could coexist peacefully for the entire summer.

Sofia brushed past her with a sigh, already so over with what had happened during the day, and just ready to get some sleep. She set her bag on the bed near the door, her expression tense and unreadable.

“Guess you’re taking that side then.” Jullianna muttered, sliding her own bag onto the bed nearest the window, needing the slight reprieve the view might offer.

Sofia merely shrugged, glancing around the cabin before sinking down onto her bed. She did not respond, but the look she shot Jullianna spoke volumes, one of those silent, frustrated exchanges that siblings seem to master effortlessly.

The silence between them stretched, thick and awkward, broken only by the distant sounds of the camp settling in for the night. Jullianna retrieved her pen and paper, intending to start the letter she had been meaning to send to you. She hoped it would soothe the relentlessness that gnawed at her, the unsettling feeling that maybe, she had made a big mistake of coming to Camp Walden.

Jullianna began writing in a neat hand, taking care to choose her words carefully. She even hesitated, chewing on the pen cap as she considered what else she could say to you.

Dear Mama,

I’m doing well at camp, and I’m learning a lot. The counselors are nice, the activities are…fun. I had met a really terrible girl, and she’s very very rude, and got us into big trouble, and maybe you were right after all, maybe I shouldn’t have come to Camp Walden, maybe I’m not ready yet to be on my own…

The moment Jullianna saw what she had ended up writing, had been crossed out, and just sighed. Then, without any warning, the lights flicked off, plunging the cabin into darkness. Jullianna blinked, her eyes adjusting to the faint glow filtering through the windows, and realized that Sofia had casually flipped the switch from her side of the room, clearly telling her intent to sleep.

“Hey! What the hell?” Jullianna snapped, narrowing her eyes in the darkness. “I wasn’t finished.”

“It’s late,” Sofia replied evenly, her voice carrying a hint of smugness. “Some of us actually want to sleep, you pompous ass.”

“Well, I want to finish my letter.” Jullianna replied, ignoring the name calling that had been done by Sofia. “It’s not like I’m even bothering you.” She huffed, reaching for the switch by her bed and flicking it back on.

The light filled the room one more, and she caught a glimpse of Sofia’s exasperated expression before Sofia silently turned it off again. Jullianna gritted her teeth, annoyance already bubbling up as she stretched over to turn it back on, refusing to back down. Suddenly, the twins had fallen into a wordless rhythm—Sofia switching the light off, Jullianna switching it back on, they were going at it back and forth, in an escalating battle of wills. With each flip of the light switch, their resolve only seemed to deepen, neither of them are willing to be the one to concede. It was like the tennis match all over again.

“You know what? Fine!” Sofia muttered, letting out an exasperated sigh, and rolling her eyes as she settled back on her pillow, turning away from Jullianna. “Have your freaking light. Clearly, writing a letter is more important than getting any sleep.”

Jullianna’s jaw tightened, resisting the urge to retort. She knew that Sofia was only trying to get under her skin, but still, she could not ignore the sting of frustration. This was supposed to be her space, her chance to find some peace, and here was Sofia, already encroaching on it. After a pause, Jullianna went back to her letter, scribbling with more intensity than before, as if each stroke of the pen could somehow vent her irritation.

The camp is fine, though I do wish there were a little more…personal space, and that Sofia Alonso was the biggest and awful creature that had ever walked this planet!

She glanced pointedly at Sofia’s turned back. But as the silence settled back over them, Jullianna felt the weight of their situation press down, a heavy reminder of the consequences they now had to endure. She thought back to the pranks, tennis match, and the bubbling resentment she had not quite been able to shake. Now, all of it had come back to haunt her, and there was nothing either of them could do to change any of it. Marva’s words echoed in her mind—you’ll be spending the rest of your time here together in the isolation cabin.

Looking over at Sofia, wondering if she was feeling the same sting of regret. It was one thing to engage in their rivalry out on the campgrounds, where they had their own space, but here, the walls closed in, and the tension between them felt inescapable.

“You know, if this keeps up, they’ll end up calling our parents.” Sofia murmured, her voice laced with a hint of worry.

Jullianna paused, her pen hovering over the paper as he stomach somersaulted at the thought. The last thing she wanted was for you to receive a call from Marva, detailing how your daughter had been banished to the isolation cabin, as Marva listed the things she had done like it was war crimes. She couldn’t bear at the thought of you regretting the decision to let her come home, disappointing the only person she looked up to more than anyone else in the world. To more than anyone else in the world.

“Yeah, well,” Jullianna replied, her bravado faltering, “I don’t think either of us wants that.”

Sofia glanced over her shoulder, gaze softer, almost resigned. “So maybe we should just…stay out of each other’s way.”

Jullianna nodded in agreement, feeling a reluctant agreement settled between them, though the air was still thick with tension. They did not say another that night. She decided to write a new letter and had finished it in silence, leaving out the parts about the pranks and rivalry, keeping the tone cheerful and optimistic for your sake.

When Jullianna finally set the letter aside and turned off her bedside light, she could feel Sofia’s presence only a few feet away, a constant reminder of the thin line they both now walked. They had no choice but to endure this together, their own choice binding them to this small cabin in the middle of the woods.

As Jullianna lay awake, staring at the ceiling, Jullianna realized just how long the summer ahead truly felt.

The late afternoon sun spilled through the cabin window, casting a soft golden glow that painted the room in a warm light. Jullianna sat cross-legged on her bed, journal opened in her lap as she carefully sorted through the small collection of photos she had brought with her from home. The journal was more than just a pastime, it was her link to everything familiar, a little piece of home could flip through whenever she missed you or the world that was beyond camp.

One by one, she arranged the photos—old photos of you and her, her friends from school, and places she loved most. There was one photograph, however, that she always kept tucked at the back, out of sight but never truly out of mind. It was an old photo of her father, Fernando, one taken long before things had changed so drastically for the worst. The picture had been ripped down in the middle, jagged separating him from the rest of the family photo, leaving only his half behind.

Jullianna stared at it for a moment, her fingertips tracing the worn edges, a strange mixture of warmth and sadness filling her chest. She missed him, even if she could hardly remember him. She missed what might have been. As she was placing the photograph ik the journal, she felt a presence near her, and she glanced up to find Sofia watching her curiously. Sofia’s expression was unreadable, but her gaze was sharp, focused on the photo in Jullianna’s hand.

“What’s that?” Sofia asked, a hint of something suspicious in her voice.

“Just…” Jullianna hesitated, holding the journal protectively against her chest. “Some photos from home.” She replied, hoping that her reply would appease Sofia’s curiosity.

“Let me see.” Sofia insisted, taking a step closer.

Before Jullianna could even form a response, Sofia had already leaned over and snatched the photo from her hands, holding it up to the light. Her eyes scanned the picture, and Jullianna could see the flicker of confusion cross her face, followed by something deeper—something darker.

“Why the hell do you have a picture of my father?” Sofia’s voice was low, tense, laced with a disbelief that quickly turned into anger.

Her hands clenched around the edges of the photo as if holding onto it hurt, but she could not let go. Jullianna’s mouth fell open, her mind reeling.

“Your father?” She repeated, feeling a sudden wave of confusion crash over her. “That’s my father.”

“No, this is my dad! Why the hell do you have this picture?” Her tone grew louder, angrier, each word brimming with accusation, as if Jullianna had stolen something from her. “You had no right to—”

“Sofia,” Jullianna’s voice cut through, steady yet trembling, she’s not really used to confrontations like this. “I’m telling you the truth, he’s my father too.” Her words hung heavy in the air, and she could see the rage in Sofia’s face waver, replaced by a flash of doubt.

For a moment, neither of them spoke, both twins were processing the words that had just been exchanged. Then, as if some unspoken understanding passed between them, Sofia reached into her own things, rifling through until she found what she was looking for. She pulled out a photograph of her own, one that looked hauntingly familiar. It was an image of you, torn the same way in the middle, only this time, the tear separated you from the man beside.

“This…this is my other picture.” She whispered as she held up the photo, hand shaking and voice barely above breath.

Jullianna took in the image, her heart pounding as she realized what it meant. The jagged tear in each of their photos matched perfectly, like two pieces of a puzzle meant to be joined. The world seemed to tilt around her, air getting heavy with the enormity of the truth sinking in.

All those years, all the questions she had never had any answers to—they were standing right in front of her, and her mirror image was the one holding them.

“You’re…” Jullianna’s voice broke, her throat tight as the words struggled to find their way out. “We’re…twins.”

Sofia’s face was a mixture of shock and disbelief. She opened her mouth as if to say something, but no words came. They both stood there, frozen, each searching for the other’s face for answers, for some kind of proof that this was not just a strange dream.

Jullianna sank down on the edge of her bed, staring at the two photographs, Fernando in one, and you in the other, torn apart but now brought together by the both of them. The silence between the twins was thick, heavy with the weight of everything they had missed, everything they hadn’t known until now.

“I don’t understand,” Sofia finally said, voice softer, almost vulnerable. “Why didn’t they tell us anything? Why were we…separated?”

“I don’t know. I never even knew you existed, it was just always me and Mama…” she trailed off, voice trembling, the realization settling painfully in her heart.

Sofia sat down across from her, a flicker of hurt crossing her face. “For me, it’s always been just me and Papa. I thought that was it.”

Both fell silent again, each lost in their own thoughts, the reality of their shared past unraveling slowly before them. Jullianna could see the same ache reflected in Sofia’s eyes, a sense of loss neither of them had expected to find. They had grown up worlds apart, yet they had been carrying the same missing piece all along, unaware that it belonged to each other.

Sofia reached out hesitantly, her hand hovering over the two torn photos, as if by placing them together, she could somehow bridge the gap between their two lives.

“Maybe,” she whispered, her voice choked with emotion, “maybe it’s not too late for us, don’t you think?”

“Yeah,” she said softly, voice steady and certain. “Maybe it isn’t.”

Later that evening, when the cabin was already dark and quiet, with only the sounds of occasional rustle of leaves outside and soft breaths of the twins can be heard as they lay in their separate beds, each lost in their own thoughts. Jullianna had just started drifting off to sleep when she heard a small whisper.

Hey, psst!” Sofia called, her voice low, but insistent.

Jullianna rolled over, groaning softly. “What do you want, Sofia? I’m trying to sleep.”

“I have an idea, a very brilliant one.” She leaned up on her elbow, a spark of excitement lighting up her face, even in the dim light.

She opened one eye, squinting at her sister. “Can this please wait until the morning? When I’m fully rested and can absorb information properly?”

“No! Come on, it’ll just take a second.” Sofia pleaded.

“Fine!” Jullianna finally gave in. “If this brilliant idea of yours is anything like your last brilliant idea that landed us in this cabin, consider me not interested.” She added, voice laced with a hint of sarcasm.

“Damn, now we know which twin has a stick up in their ass all the time.” Sofia snickered.

Jullianna gasped, looking really appalled. “I do not have a stick up in my ass, thank you very much!”

“Whatever,” Sofia rolled her eyes, “but come on! I swear this one’s different. Just hear me out.”

Jullianna sighed, sitting up as well, rubbing her eyes and reluctantly giving her attention to her sister. “Alright, I’m listening. What’s this brilliant idea of yours?”

Sofia leaned in closer, her voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper. “We should switch places.”

“Switch places?” Jullianna blinked, staring at her sister like she had suddenly grown two heads. “You mean you want me to go live with Papa, and you’ll go live with Mama?”

She nodded eagerly, her eyes gleaming with excitement at the idea. “Exactly! Think about it, Jullianna! I’ve been dying to meet her my whole life, and don’t you want to know what it’s like to live with Papa? Even just for a little while?”

“Are you insane in the head?” Jullianna looked at Sofia as if she were out of her mind. “How on earth would we pull something off like that? The second I step off the plane, Mama will know I’m not me. We may look alike, but there are a thousand little things she’d notice right away.”

But Sofia was not ready to give up that easily. She shifted closer, her face determined. “Not if I practice. I can learn your habits, your mannerisms, everything. I’ve watched you all summer, and I already know how you talk and walk. I can definitely pull this off, I know I can.”

“And what about me?” Jullianna let out a huff of disbelief, crossing her arms over her chest. “How am I supposed to fool Papa? What if he asks me about something I don’t know or realizes I’m not you?”

Sofia’s face softened, and for a moment, she looked almost vulnerable. “Well, I don’t think he would. He’s always away and busy. He wouldn’t even notice.”

“You really think you can fool Mama? You think you know her that well?” Jullianna’s expression shifted, a hint of curiosity into her voice.

“I know her well enough to know that she loves you so much. I’ve heard stories from Papa about how she’s so elegant, so graceful, and I’ve imagined what it would be like to meet her a million times.” Sofia said earnestly. “I promise I’ll do everything I can to make it work.”

Jullianna felt a pang in her chest at the thought of Sofia’s longing, the years they had missed out on with each other, and with their parents. She tried to shake off the bittersweet feeling, but it lingered, tugging at her heart.

“Sofia…” she started, her voice soft. “This is really crazy, and dangerous. A little bit ridiculous as well if I'm being honest.”

Sofia gave her a small, hopeful smile. “So, you up for it?”

Jullianna bit her lip, torn between Sofia’s skepticism and the growing sense of curiosity. She had always wondered about Fernando, about what kind of person he was, what it would be like to spend time with their father—and as much as she hated to admit it, there was a part of her that wanted to see it for herself.

Finally, she let out a sigh, throwing her hands up in resignation. “Fine. Fine, I’ll do it. But if this all backfires, I’m fully blaming you.”

Sofia’s face lit up, and without any warning, she launched herself across the small space, wrapping her arms around Jullianna in a tight hug.

“Thank you, thank you!” She squealed. “You have no idea how much this means to me.”

Jullianna, unaccustomed to the sudden skinship, hugged her back, though she couldn’t help but roll her eyes as she whispered, “you better not mess this up.”

“Oh, don’t worry your pompous ass about it.” Sofia pulled back, a mischievous glint in her eyes.

“Will you stop calling me that?” Jullianna glared at her.

“Naur.” Sofia teased. “But, it was nice doing business with you, partner!”

“I should’ve drafted an agreement before I had agreed to this plan.” Jullianna murmured.

“Too late, no backsies!” Sofia stuck her tongue out at Jullianna.

She just shook her head, a faint smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. “Let’s just hope this brilliant idea of yours doesn’t end in total disaster.”

The isolation cabin was not exactly the punishment that Marva, the camp director, had intended for it to be, at least not to the twins. Sure, they were banned from most camp activities and had been relegated to kitchen duties—a consequence they were constantly reminded of as they scrubbed pots and peeled endless potatoes, but it was during these hours of exile that they found an unexpected advantage. They basically had the entire summer to prepare for their switch, and with no one or any camp activities to interrupt, they were free to study each other’s lives without interference.

Every morning, after finishing up in the kitchen, they would take their usual spot at the “isolation cabin table,” a small stable in the farthest corner of the mess hall. The staff had set it aside specifically for them, as if to let everyone know that they were troublemakers. But to the twins, it felt like it was their own private headquarters, a place where they could whisper and plan without anyone overhearing.

One afternoon, with the other campers busy with archery and canoeing, Sofia and Julianna were seated at their table, surrounded by a scattered pile of photographs, notepaper, and a few hastily drawn diagrams.

“Alright,” Sofia said, leaning over one of the photos, her eyes focused. “This is Papa’s sister. Tía Lorena, and she’s a doctor. She really loves giving expensive gifts, so she pretty much spoils us rotten.” She pointed to a woman in the photograph, a glamorous brunette with a gorgeous smile.

Jullianna raised an eyebrow. “How expensive?”

“Well, considering she’s very successful, gifts like Chanel, Bvlgari, Dior, and YSL to name a few.” Sofia explained. “Though I’m thankful for the gifts, I'm never really the type of girl to bask myself in luxury items, though I know very well that once she meets you as Jullianna, you’ll really get along well. Since you’re so…posh.”

She looked at Sofia, sending her a playful offended look. “I’m not posh. But got it, an expensive aunt who gives posh gifts. Noted.”

They exchanged stories, going back and forth, each trying to explain the intricacies of their own families. Sofia’s face softened as she looked over at Jullianna, sensing the curiosity in her eyes every time she spoke of their father.

“Look,” Sofia said, reaching over and handing her a photo of Fernando, smiling and holding up a trophy on the podium. “This is Papa at his happiest, when he’s racing. That’s what he lives for, and I think he’d rather be on the track than anywhere else.”

Jullianna gently took the photo from Sofia, studying it closely. She noticed the proud look in Fernando’s eyes, the way he seemed to radiate energy and excitement.

“He looks…different than I expected. He looks…younger.” Jullianna said, looking at the photo with a longing smile.

“Yeah,” Sofia replied softly, her gaze turning a bit wistful. “That’s the side of him I wish you could have seen sooner. I think you’d like him very much, and he’s also very funny. Cracking a bunch of dad jokes.”

Jullianna gave her a small nod, tucking the photo away carefully in her notebook. It was her turn, and she held up a photo of you, looking radiant at a charity gala, draped in a timeless gown, surrounded by a sea of admiring eyes.

“This is Mama at one of her events. She’s, well, she’s always the center of attention, but not in a loud way. She doesn’t have to try, people just…gravitate to her.” Jullianna explained, and pulled out a photo again. It was one of your poster ads for Dior, where you had been asked to be their brand ambassador.

Sofia stared at the photo, her face filled with wonder, and whispered. “She looks like a queen.”

“She kind of is,” Jullianna replied with a laugh. “She can be strict, though. Like, if my room isn’t perfect, I always hear about it.”

She laughed, shaking her head. “Papa’s the opposite. He barely notices if there’s a mess, as long as it’s not his stuff.”

“Also, before I forget,” Jullianna pulled out a photo of your sister. “This is Tante Clarisse, older sister. She’s a really cool aunt, very adventurous, and I know that when she meets you as you, you’ll get along really well.”

“Would you look at that, our parents have the exact opposite of their siblings.” Both of the twins laughed at Sofia’s remarks. “But tell me more about Mama, what is the first thing she does every morning?”

“Hmm, the first thing Mama does every morning is make tea. Always black tea, no milk, just a bit of honey. She stands by the window, looking out at the garden while she drinks it.” Jullianna smiled.

“Got it,” Sofia nodded, mentally filing each detail away. “What is she like? I mean, what’s she like when it’s just you two?”

“Well, she’s calm. Gentle, but not in a weak way. She’s strong, you’d see it in the way she handles everything, like she’s always a step ahead of everyone else.” Jullianna’s face softened, voice becoming wistful. “It’s like everything is just…right. She’s amazing, really.”

“She sounds wonderful.” Sofia murmured, almost to herself.

“But anyway, your turn!” Jullianna quickly cleared her throat, wanting to break the quiet weight between them. “What’s Papa like? I mean, really like, not just what you tell people.”

“Oh, Papa…he’s complicated.” Sofia leaned back in her chair, a smile tugging at her lips. “Always has a million things going on in his head, but he’s also weirdly sentimental. Like, he keeps these little trinkets, souvenirs from places he’s raced.”

“He doesn’t say much, but he’s always present. When he’s around, you know he’s paying attention, like you’re the only person in the world.” She added.

Jullianna tilted her head, trying to picture the man she had only known in glimpses, piecing together this new layer of Sofia was giving her. You never really liked to talk about Fernando, and Jullianna just gave up on asking you about him, the picture was already enough for her to know that she has a father.

“That sounds…really nice.” She said softly, almost as if she were testing the words.

Sofia grinned, a little twinkle of pride in her eyes. “Yeah, he’s…he’s special. But don’t tell him I said that, or he’ll never let me hear the end of it.”

The two of them shared a quiet laugh, finding comfort in the strange, shared bond they were piecing together over their parents.

As they continued trading details, Sofia would occasionally quiz Jullianna. “So, what does Papa do on Sunday mornings when it’s his off-season?”

“You both spend time at Abuelo and Abuela’s home, and go to his private race track for a few sessions.” Jullianna replied confidently.

“Close enough,” Sofia said, satisfied.

“Alright, your turn. What’s Mama’s favorite flower?” Jullianna asked.

Sofia paused, trying to recall the details they had gone over. “Orchids. White ones.”

Jullianna nodded, impressed. “Perfect. She always loved white orchids, didn’t she? She even has one in her home office and bedroom.”

It was strange, Jullianna thought, to feel this kind of connection to someone she had never known, to see these glimpses of her family through Sofia’s stories. She could see Sofia had felt the same, a mix of wonder and longing that neither of them could fully explain.

Sofia suddenly leaned over the table, meeting Jullianna’s eyes. “You know, if this works, if we really pull this off, we’re going to know more about each other’s families than they know about us.”

“Good. That means we’re doing it right.” Jullianna smiled, her eyes glinting with the spark of shared adventure.

During a late evening, as the moon illuminated inside of the isolation cabin’s window, Sofia glanced over at Jullianna with a look of steely determination.

“You know, if we’re going to pull this off, we have to go all in.” She said, her gaze flickering to Jullianna’s long, wavy hair.

“No way! You want me to cut it?” Jullianna reached up, fingers grazing her dark, carefully maintained locks. “I don’t think I can do that. Mama…she loves my hair.”

“I get it, but my hair’s short,” Sofia sighed, her face softening for a moment. “And you can’t exactly show up with long hair when it’s supposed to be, well, me. You’re the one who said she’s notice things, right? The tiniest details?”

Sofia pointed to her own short-cropped style, which was edgy and practical, shaped by years of living with Fernando’s ‘come as you are’ approach. Jullianna bit her lip, staring at herself in the mirror—it was true, you would instantly pick up on something as obvious as a haircut. But the thought of losing her hair, her one piece of comfort in an otherwise chaotic world, made her heart twist.

Sofia saw the hesitation softened her voice, trying to convince her. “Look, I know it’s hard. I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t think it was necessary. Besides, hair grows back, just think of it as…as a part of the adventure.”

“Easy for you to say! You’re used to it.” Jullianna sighed, crossing her arms defensively.

“True. But that’s why I’m asking. If we’re really going to do this, it has to be perfect. Foolproof.” She paused, then added, “and…you’re going to have to get your ears pierced too.”

Jullianna’s head snapped up, her eyes wide with shock. “Wait, what?! Pierced ears?! No. Absolutely not! There is a reason why I never had my ears pierced, despite how Mama told me that I should.”

“Well, Papa definitely won’t let me go back without my ear pierced.” Sofia chuckled, shaking her head. “If you show up with unpierced ears, he’ll notice immediately that it is not his daughter.”

Jullianna groaned, staring back at the mirror. It was more than a little daunting, the idea of changing herself so much for a plan that she was not even sure would work. She had always hated needles so much, that is why despite how much you convince her to have her ears pierced so that she can no longer use magnetic earrings, a simple no would always be her answer. Until you had just stopped convincing him.

But as she glanced over at Sofia, who wore an expression of quiet, almost desperate determination, something softened within her. They were already at 85% of their plan, it’s too late to back out now. This was not just an adventure for Sofia, it was her once in a lifetime chance to meet you—the mother she had never really known.

“Fine, okay.” Jullianna finally said, her voice barely above a whisper. “Let’s do it.”

Sofia’s face lit up with relief and excitement. She jumped up, giving Jullianna an impulsive hug. “Thank you! This is going to be amazing, I promise!”

Jullianna couldn’t help but smile. The feeling of Sofia’s arms around her, the warmth of this new sisterly bond, somehow made the whole ordeal seem worth it. Worth conquering over her fear of needles.

A few hours later, Julluanna sat stiffly on a wooden chair, with Sofia standing beside her with a pair of scissors that he had managed to borrow from the camp’s art shed. Jullianna closed her eyes, as strands of her long hair tumbled down on the cabin floor.

As the pile of hair grew, Jullianna tried to focus on the bigger picture, on why she was doing this. She kept imagining your reaction when you see her, or rather, when you see Sofia, standing in her place, with every detail exactly right. She imagined what it would be like to stand in her father’s world, if only for a little while.

“Alright,” she said, after what felt like an eternity, Sofia finally stepped back, setting the scissors aside. “Look!”

Jullianna opened her eyes slowly, gazing at her reflection in the cabin mirror. With the shorter, choppy hairstyle, she barely recognized herself, and standing shoulder-to-shoulder with Sofia, she saw it—the uncanny, almost eerie resemblance between them.

“We look…we look so much alike, oh my god.” Jullianna murmured, reaching up to touch her newly short hair.

Sofia grinned, a look of triumph spreading across her face. “Told you, we could pull this off.”

“Alright, you win. I’m all in.” Jullianna couldn’t help but laugh, shaking her head.

“Now, for the earrings,” Sofia said, holding up the studs with a small, apologetic smile. “You’re doing great, I promise. This is the last and final step.”

Jullianna clenched her jaw but nodded. “Just make it quick, okay?”

Sofia gave her a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder, then carefully pierced her ears with a sharp needle, one at a time. It was quick, a short sting, that felt like a bite of an ant, and then it was over. Jullianna touches her new earrings, feeling their cool surface against her skin.

“There. Now we’re ready!” Sofia grinned, stepping back and looking over.

They both stood together in front of the mirror, side by side, transformed into mirror images of each other, the plan they had once imagined as impossible now felt inevitable.

It was already the last day of camp. The final morning was thick with an anxious energy, as if the summer had conspired with the twins’ hearts to make this moment feel both thrilling and terrifying. They had come a long way from that heated tennis match, and now, every glance, every movement was carefully practiced to be someone else. It was very strange and surreal, to think that they were about to walk into the lives they had only ever imagined, guided only by each other’s stories, photos, and memories.

Sofia glanced at the small suitcase she had packed with Jullianna’s things. Her fingers trembled slightly as she zipped it up, feeling the weight of what they were about to do settle heavily in her stomach. She had dreamt about meeting you so many times, but now that the moment was within reach, the reality was daunting. She was about to step into a world so different from her own. What if I slipped up? What if you noticed right away?

“Hey, you’re going to do great. Just remember what we practiced. You’ve got this.” Jullianna said softly, offering a reassuring smile.

Sofia looked at her, a flicker of doubt in her eyes. “What if she realized it’s not you the second I walk through the door? You told me that she notices everything.”

“You’ll be okay,” Jullianna replied, trying to project confidence. “And if anything feels off, just call me, okay? I’ll be there. It’s just a summer, long enough to get some answers, but not so long that anyone gets hurt.”

At that moment, Stella’s voice called out through the megaphone, her tone brisk, business-like. “Jullianna Young! Your car’s here, we’re ready when you are!”

“That’s you!” Jullianna said as they shared a quick, almost panicked look. Her voice became urgent as she pressed her passport and plane ticket into Sofia’s hands, along with her small backpack. “Here. You’re going to need these. Remember, look through all the photos in my journal, it’s where I keep everything, all my photos of who’s who, little habits, and notes. It should be able to help you.”

Sofia nodded as she took a deep breath. “Don’t forget to find out why they split up. I don’t remember much, but I think…I think it’s important.”

“I’ll do my best.” Jullianna’s expression softened. “And Sofia, make sure you keep up with my French homework, alright? Mama won’t let you hear the end of it if you slip, and give her a big hug for me.” She forced a small laugh, trying to mask her own nerves.

“Ms. Young! The car is waiting, come on.” Stella’s voice interrupted again, a touch more insistent this time.”

“Good luck, Jullianna,” she whispered as she hugged Jullianna tightly, one last time. “Thank you for giving me this chance. Please hug Papa for me, as well.”

“Good luck to you too,” Jullianna hugged her back with the same intensity, feeling a surge of emotions she hadn’t expected. “And I will. Remember, it’s just summer. But make the most of it, okay?”

Sofia nodded, blinking back the sudden sting of tears, and with one last look at Jullianna, she walked towards the car and went inside. Jullianna stood there, left with a mixture of excitement, fear, and a strange sense of loss as the car drove away.

Jullianna was about to meet her father in a couple of hours, for the first time as herself but not quite herself, to step into a world she knew through faded photos and stories whispered late at night.

[gh0st-author]

lover of mine

pairing: William James Moriarty x reader

tags: angst, hurt/comfort but very bittersweet

summary: when i take a look at my life and all of my crimes, you're the only thing that i think i got right

warnings: mentions of death, lots of sad thoughts

A/N: ha ha .. guess who's back ... jk jk i've been away for a little while and i dipped in true fanfic author fashion BUT HEY im back now. and i was craving a bit of pain so here is a lil something angsty. its more of a character study than anything... also could you tell that ive been listening to lover of mine lmao

The serene silence of the night was interrupted by a strangled gasp, a broken intake of air momentarily cutting through the calm as a figure arose suddenly from their sleeping position, clutching their chest. Scarlet eyes flashed open, disoriented, hauntingly glancing around the room, the man trying to gather his bearings. He felt as if the walls were caving in around him, although the logical part of his brain was aware that those notions were only in his head. But lately, there was little difference between nightmares and consciousness to William.

And that was all that this was— a nightmare. A horrible fragment of his imagination seeping into his dreams and haunting his waking hours. Usually, the myriad of thoughts and emotions was kept tightly at bay in the furthest reaches of his mind, but at night when his defenses were lowered and his being slumbered, they seeped through and poisoned his dreams, his consciousness becoming a prison, caging him in. Faces flashed before his eyes, his own bloody hands, the weight of his own deeds and sins— oftentimes he felt less like a man and more like a whirling swarm of guilt, despair, and nihilty.

He directed his gaze at the ceiling, eyes tracing the veiny cracks weaving over it like spider webs, as his mind churned with thoughts. His soul was screaming out, but no sound seeped out. Power comes in response to a need, not desire. He felt no desire for bloodshed he dished out, found no enjoyment in it, yet he continued to drag himself further into hell, each step heavy as stone but unwavering, preserving what little hope was left at the cost of damning his soul. That was something he needed to do. He even abhorred violence, deeming it an absolute evil. Violence for violence was the rule of beasts, yet most days he felt as if it was the only language he knew how to speak. Maybe before long, he will become just like them, a violent animal of claws and teeth that did not know why it bit, crossing the blurry line of this dark gray area he roamed in and passing the point of no return. 

A minuscule movement and soft rustling of the sheets at his side drew his attention away from his musings. He gazed down at the figure sleeping next to him peacefully, face serene and bathed in moonlight. Shadows splayed over her skin making her look even more ethereal, hair draped over the silky pillowcase forming a halo around her head. An angel— or perhaps divine punishment for his sins. 

She was a being pure and unsullied by the darkness of the world; the darkness in him. Sometimes, he was almost afraid to touch her, in fear of tainting her pristine radiance with his stained hands. The mere fact that a person so far fallen like him was able to bask in the warmth she provided was as cruel as it was bitter-sweet. 

She was an existence that he shouldn't have been able to approach, and the reality of that seemed too harsh and unkind in actuality, yet he often found himself wondering if that was really true, though.

Reaching out to brush away a stray lock of hair from her forehead, he once again contemplated that thought. Maybe fate wasn't evil or cruel for sending him this brilliant shard of light. Perhaps it was actually merciful, providing him with a single taste of heaven— something he thought he had no hope of ever reaching. Maybe it was kind enough to gift him with this momentary reprieve. 

Her brows furrowed in her sleep as his ministrations disturbed her slumber. He slowly drew his hand back as her eyes opened, blissfully unaware of the turmoil in his. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you."

She shook her head and inched ever so closer to him. "Why are you not asleep? You have to teach early tomorrow." Her worried gaze ran over his face. "Did something happen?"

"No, nothing." His throat was tight, each word rasping out almost painfully. "I am just... pondering."

She hummed lowly, considering him, then rose to sit next to him, leaning her head against his shoulder. "Hmm, a bad nightmare?" 

He sighed deeply, bone-weary, resting his cheek against her temple. "Don't concern yourself with it. I promise I am fine."

She let out another hum, and he knew what she was attempting, yet he was too weak to refuse her. She gently cradled his hands in her lap from where they'd been clutching the sheets and started tracing little patterns with her thumbs over them. "Tell me about it"

A small wry tilting of his lips, too fleeting to be called a smile, accompanied her actions. Exactly as he predicted. She knew precisely what to do to get him to talk. And that was no fault of hers, for he always acquiesced and yielded to her wants. "When I put my life into perspective, and all of my sins and crimes I committed, you are the one singular decision in it that I think I made right."

Her hands paused their movements and her gaze flew to his face, confused and slightly vexed. "What do you mean?"

Her face was so sincere, so unwaveringly loving, that he was barely able to endure the depth of her gaze. Yet he was unable to tear his eyes away from hers as the words spilled from his trembling lips. "My only right choice was meeting you, despite all of my wrongdoings. But your place is not with me, in the shadows. You should be out under the sun, never touched by our darkness."

Her brows furrowed once again, this time more severely, and he observed her face becoming even more confused and irked. "William you are talking nonsense." She clutched his hands tighter. "I chose you, William. Promised to be by your side through the good and the bad. No one else. You"

Another piece of his soul bloomed and withered away with her words, leaving its rot embedded deep in his chest. He slowly rose one hand from her grip to rest it gently on her cheek. "How I wish I could've loved you under different circumstances."

"Stop that!" she protested, shock subsiding, replaced with indignation. "You fight for equality. You are noble. You are not evi—"

"There is nothing noble about what I do." The look he gave her was cold and mournful, closed off. Any semblance of warmth leeched out of it. "Taking someone's life— even for a greater cause— is never justice." Dropping his hand from her face, he inched away from her, pulling away as the thick walls he usually built to keep these thoughts away crumbled in her presence. As he confessed to her the depths of his despair. "I never told you this before, but I plan to die." He didn't know if saying these words was a weight off his chest, or the last nail in his proverbial coffin. "I plan to atone with my death, to disappear as the last blight on society. To end the great evil that the masses depict me to be."

"Don't you dare!" Her words were a shocked gasp. And suddenly she understood— he saw it in her eyes that she did. She saw his guilt. Guilt, and grief, and resentment, and loathing. An inescapable torment weighing him down, trapping him, crushing him under the immense pressure of his deeds. A bottomless pit pulling him into its depths of despair. She understood why he condemned wrongdoings so harshly, why he mourned the loss of life. There was probably no one who valued human life more than him, yet was forced to extinguish it to save the majority. And he saw her terror. He saw her grief, her anguish, her heartbreak. 

With a sob, she threw herself in his embrace. She was shaking, trembling in his arms, and his chest caved in knowing he was the cause of her pain. Her plea was a broken whisper. "Don't you dare, William. Not like... that. Never like that. Remember our deal: Where you go, I go. If you die, I'll follow, since there is no me without you."

His mouth opened to protest, to refute her argument, to undoubtedly say something akin to her life holding more value than his, but she halted him with a firm grip on his shoulders. "Promise me!"

Her eyes were boring into his, and once again he found himself rendered speechless and unable to resist her. "I promise I won't." The falsehood tasted like ash on his tongue, and not for the first time he wanted to cut the lying appendage off. What good did it serve him if it only knew treachery and deceit? If it would only bring her more pain.

Her trembling hands wound around his figure as she hugged him tightly once again. "You are everything to me, William. I don't know what I would do without you. Please... Please never say something like that again."

A shuddering breath left his lips and he leaned completely into her, resting his head in the crook of her neck, feeling incredibly worn out and frail. "How do you not condemn me?"

Her hands slowly made their way up to brush through his hair, so achingly gentle. He couldn't remember when the last time that he'd been touched so lovingly was. Couldn't remember if he'd ever been before meeting her. "I love you, William, the broken parts and everything. Stained hands or not. I have always vowed to stay by your side. No matter how much our souls are tainted, we will spend the rest of our lives atoning for it— together. After all, is it better to just be born good or to achieve goodness through your own effort?"

She leaned back to smile at him, then brushed a soft kiss against his lips, still trembling from the onslaught of his raging inferno inside him. "Hurt and grieve but don't suffer alone. Use the pain as a motive to continue forward. You will heal and you'll rise above it all."

Oh, she was so cruel, unintentionally so. Her sincerity was like bitter wine down his throat or a poison slowly making its way through his bloodstream. The simple fact that she truly believed there was any chance of redemption for him hurt more than death by a thousand papercuts. "I was correct." His hand lightly traced her cheek once again. Every word was a wound slowly bleeding out, draining his strength with it. "I really do not deserve you."

She shook her head, somber once again. "Stop saying that. I can't think of a man more worthy of my love and redemption." 

Darkness without light was an abyss. Light without darkness was blinding. You could not have a coin with only one side. Maybe they were like that. She was his perfect antithesis, his other side. The one that would grab and pull him out of the bottomless abyss of living hell, and he was the one that would ground her and shield her from flying too close to the sun. She would provide warmth to thaw away his frost, and he would keep her fire from burning out too fast. He only hoped he would be around long enough for her to not need him anymore. He hoped she wouldn't be too furious with him after he'd perished. What was another broken promise added to his ever-growing list of sins?

Because he couldn't stay with her in the light. She was still so incredibly radiant, not as far gone as he was. He knew that only the dead have seen the end of war. And that has always been his plan from the beginning. For how could he, a sinner as vile as the ones he was ridding the world of so diligently, be allowed to live in this new pristine world he was trying to create? How could she still see something good in him when he was the biggest evil that had to be eradicated? His fate has been set in stone since the first day he took Albert's hand, maybe even before that, yet with every new day he found his resolve on that matter wavering more and more. With each kiss from her; with every touch; with every love-filled glance— she made his icy determination crumble under her warm light. He was nothing but a coward wearing the face of a revolutionary, desperately clinging to life— to her— when he knew he couldn't. But for her, he almost thought it was worth it to live.

Sometimes he felt as if he could feel time moving, slipping through his fingers, and that dreaded moment of judgment creeping up closer and closer behind him, breathing down his neck. A walking dead man— that's what he was. The person currently cradling her, whispering sweet lies and false promises, was just his shell, a ticking time bomb or a lit candle only waiting for its fuse to burn out. That is precisely why he said nothing more as she urged him to go back to sleep once again. Said nothing as she draped the covers over them. Said nothing as the stifling silence threatened to pull him under once again. 

He would not be sleeping tonight, although she did not need to know that.

[weirdmorefics]

Angels May Escape The Flames But Witches Never Do- Crowley X reader

A/N- Aziraphale X Crowley X Reader if you squint. This is kind of the same reader/witch as one of my other Crowley one-shot but they both can be read by themselves. If you want to read more with the witch reader click here or my masterlist

Pronouns- She/Her

Hurt/Comfort

TW- Fire, Emetophobia, Concussion

Word Count- 1,232

Summary- The reader gets stuck in the bookshop when Sergeant Shadwell sets fire to it.

I was in the back of the bookshop organizing the shelves because the shop was a mess, which is understandable since we are literally entering armageddon.

I heard Aziraphale shout uncharacteristically loud "You stupid Man!"

I peeked around the shelf to see what the problem was when I saw a blue light followed by Aziraphale screaming the F-bomb if the situation wasn't so dire I think I would have found myself dying of laughter.

I see Aziraphale vanish into the light and the man looks as shocked as I do. He shouts, "Hello" then turns for the door. I ran after him "What have you done!"

"I just saved you from a nasty witch," he smiles proudly.

I scowl deeply at him, "Aziraphale was no witch! I think you also may need to check your prejudice. We are no longer living in the era of witch trials, burnings, and hangings."

He gasps, "I should have known witches always travel in covens. You are one of them!"

I should have known to not mess with a so-called witch-hunter considering many of my ancestor's pasts but I was filled with rage over what happened to Aziraphale. So I venomously spit out " What if I am a witch? What are you going to do about it!" I expected some witty comeback or some exorcism but he shocked me when he ran full force into me knocking me to the ground.

I hit my head so hard off the wood flooring my ears were ringing and I felt the air knocked out of my lungs. There was a crash behind me and he seemed to smile at the result. "Now you will go out in true witch fashion." He shouted while slamming the door behind him.

The loud slam of the door left my head ringing even louder. I tried to sit up but the ringing in my head became so loud I lurched to the side and vomited. I reluctantly had to lay back down because it seemed moving was not an option. It started to feel very hot and I wasn't sure if it was the fact that I just vomited my guts out or the concussion I so obviously had received. I moved my eyes to the side to see the unfortunate cause of the heat. It was a fire growing rapidly I would do anything to save the books, to save Aziraphale's legacy but I was becoming increasingly tired and my eyes fluttered closed.

I keep going in and out of consciousness as the fire gets hotter and hotter. My last concussion definitely did not take this long to wake up from but that one was not during a rapidly growing fire. There was no way I was getting out of this it was getting progressively harder to breathe and I could not use any spells in this state not that any of my ingredients were going to survive this mess. Maybe all witches were meant to die like this burning in the great flames of their ancestors.

I hear the doors fly open with a bang which scares me for a moment because that is how the witch hunter left. Then I hear Crowley's voice Crowleys beautiful voice, "Do I look like I run a bookshop?"

He shouts Aziraphale's name and mine repeatedly. I want to shout that I am here but I can't manage to get a word out. He starts rambling about where the Heaven/Hell are you two for God's sake or whoever's sake.

I try so hard to get anything out but all I can manage are weak coughs and wheezes. Maybe it really is too late for me...

Water shoots through the glass window shattering it and landing Crowley on the floor and for once the fates have smiled upon me. He lies face to face with me.

He smiles brightly at me and cups my face his glasses are knocked off and I am glad that I can see his beautiful yellow eyes one more time.

"My sorceress I... I thought you were gone," He whispers and holds my face like I might slip away if he loses his grasp.

My voice is very hoarse and hardly understandable, "Your eyes," I struggle to breathe, "I wish I got to see them more." I wheeze once more.

Crowley had always told you how much he disdains his eyes but at that moment he kissed your head, "You will sweetheart! you will!"

He goes to pick me up and I swat at him and he looks truly hurt, "Forget me," I gasp. "you don't have time!" tears spill from my eyes "Take the book it is all that matters. Save the earth," I think I have used all my air at this point I cough and I can't stop. Wet ashes coat my hand as they are expelled from my lungs.

Crowley looks utterly enraged at this statement. "If you think earth means anything without you and Angel you are sorely mistaken," he seethes.

I have no energy left to fight I close my eyes as I feel myself lugged over his shoulder. His shouts make the ringing ever so louder as he shouts for a medic. I want to tease him as I always do when he has that worried face but this time he has a right to be worried.

I am laid down so gently on a stretcher that I know it is Crowley because he has always been afraid I'll break since I am not an immortal being like them. I hear Medics shout things like grade two concussion, rib contusions, and severe smoke inhalation. Even though my head is still extremely foggy and my throat burns like hell I lift my oxygen mask off to speak.

Crowley forcibly places it back on, "Shh, darling don't speak. Save your energy."

I roll my eyes and ignore him and breathe deeply sounding like a sixty-year-old smoker, "Crowley, Azi is still alive. He was put in this blue-white ray. Save the earth for Aziraphale and me so we have a place to come back to... to be together again."

Crowley smiles brightly, "He's alive!"

"The book everything is in the book, please tell me you have the book." I wheeze.

"Sir, please tell her she needs to keep the oxygen mask on!" The medic yells annoyingly loud.

Crowley forces the mask back on me, "You really think I was going to forget the book you would risk your life over sweetheart." He does a wink and a smirk that instantly makes my heart monitor embarrassingly spike.

The medic looks at me concerned and asks if I am having palpitations which makes me blush harder. Crowley smiles at this and I am sure he is cataloging this memory in his brain to bring up constantly.

Crowley kisses the top of your head, "I am off to save our angle and our home."

Crowley takes his shades off and looks at the medic who scrambles backward knocking over medical supplies. "If you do not make sure she comes out of this in top-notch health there will be hell to pay!" He sticks out his forked tongue and I am scared the medic may die of fear before he can even fix me up.

He gives me one last kiss on the forehead "Until we meet again darling."

[tiajk]

Little Miss Hamilton(I think i’m actually hilarious)

Masterlist

Warnings: reader is seen as the Hamilton of the crew, reader is implied to have powers but not have eaten devil fruit, Poc reader implied (brown skin, curly hair ), It’s a platonic mostly (hint of zosan x reader not a hint it’s plain a day), Cursing, pre time skip im mind, Best friends Nami & Ussop (such an underrated duo), Mostly the Anime in mind when writing this, no use of name or y/n, grammar errors (i js know there are)

A/n: Told you guys another fic would be out today (I love Hamilton) (if you watch Hamilton what’s your favorite song(s) mines are satisfied & Non-stop), you guys i wrote this with the worst stomach pain im gonna fucking die

Dividers from ; @y-yushin & @anitalenia

—It almost felt like a reward every single piece of it. Starting with the fact you were apart of the straw hat pirate crew. Luffy claimed that you were all the best including you. most of the time dismissing him with a smile and a small “thank you!!” Then going back to your books and writings. thinking back to the fights you’ve been though you were grateful for having your powers what was more important was knowledge knowing every single piece of information that you found valuable was important to you and you would do anything to obtain it. Even if that included staying up late at night sleeping all during the day which at first no one thought was odd just assuming you were like Zoro. At night was when you did your true calling the most knowledge obtained from the Stars making charts, maps, and hypothesis’s about the moon and why does it change every single night. Mind running through thousands of ideas on how. Most of the time you would ire yourself out so much that you would fall asleep on deck but someone would always awake in the night to check most of the time it was Sanji and Zoro. Whenever Zoro found you he would grumble stings of curses out of his mouth when he saw you. He didn’t understand why you would leave yourself out in the open just to get more information about the stars but he would rather die then let you sit out in the cold. Sanji was the same way he would find you most of the time after Luffy tries to sneak into the fridge and he can’t go back to sleep. Tonight is no different from the rest your slumped on the deck your book is closed secure so the wind wont open it with little bits of pages sticking out of it your notebook stacked on top as well. Sanji & Zoro both cant sleep tonight instead of arguing with each other the just drink and get to know each other better. Surprisingly there laughing together playfully bantering each other when Sanji’s expression changes and goes outside Zoro doesn’t know what he’s doing at first but then it clicks in his head you were probably asleep on the deck again. He follows Sanji out the kitchen door seeing Sanji picking you up bridal style already you look peaceful its like your boy knows that Sanji’s got you and that your safe. While he’s climbing up the stars when he passes zoro he stops “Can you get her books I would usually would get them but your here to help me this time”. He wants to roll his eyes but he can’t and for once he just listen maybe it’s the alcohol flowing through his system or maybe he knows how important your books are to you it’s your dream. During the day most of the time nami watched over you she would distract from your books claiming how you both needed a break. Dragging Ussop(he wanted to go) as you guys al go shopping and play a little dress up. By you guys its mostly nami and ussop finding clothes to give you and you to try on while they give you there opinions (Ussop has good fashion taste cant change my mind (u prob could but pls don’t). Nami Had this beautiful Long body con dress the base of the dress was a peachy pink with coral all over it the coral being in all different shapes the colors being blue, purple and ifferent shades of pink as well. “Go try it on it’s gorgeous and goes perfect with your skin tone ” taking the fabric from her hands you go to the dresseing room sort of excited to try it on. when you finished putting you examined your self in the mirror in the dressing room it was the perfect length on the floor but not enough to drag on your feet to annoy you but it hugged everywhere and it just felt perfect you didn’t really care if you have to go into debt for nami to buy this dress it would be worth it. While opening the door holding your hair in a low pony with no ponytail holder some curly staying in the front. Nami and Ussop mouth dropped to the floor when they saw you “What is it bad” you confidence going down slowly but it accelerates when nami says “It’s perfect on you we have to buy it it was literally made for you” you smile at her thanking her for the compliment “I agree it’s an amazing dress for you”.

—When going back in the dressing room as you put your other clothes on thinking what would Zoro and Sanji think about the dress you shiver at the thought of the reaction and shake it from your mind. When you guys head back to the ship it’s not loud and that worries you automatically as you speed up your pace to the going merry. Going to the kitchen is ur first stop and it was correct. You see Luffy, Sanji and Zoro all cooped up around something but you don’t know what “HMH” clearing your throat to get their attention. The all look in shock not expecting you to be there. Luffy hides the object behind his back “We thought you guys were still shopping?” “Well we're back now” You look at all three of the they seem nervous. Luffy is sweating hard “What do you have behind your back Luffy?” “Nothing” You don’t believe him so you place the shopping back on the counter and sit at the table with them “What’s the problem guys you seem nervous did i do something wrong?” They all looked at each other silently communicating “No we just don’t want you to get mad at us” it was really confusing why would you get mad? “I won’t promise” Luffy looks at you one more time just to make sure he brings the object in front of him and on the table it’s your book your book with everything in it. Part of you wants to get mad but you don’t “where did you find this?” “It was on the table fore you left I saw it and wondered what it was about didn’t know it was yours” Zoro states with his harms crossed looking at you “It’s okay but are any of the pages missing” you say examining every page that you could get your hands on slightly worried that some valuable information could be missing “No I made sure that nothing happened to it” Sanji blows the smoke out of his mouth “What happened?” Nami ask as she enters the room “Nothing just my books” Ussop comes behind you one of your books was open and he’s peeking at it over your shoulder “woah you wrote all of this?” you honestly didn’t think that it was a lot not enough knowledge so it wasn’t a lot. Nami comes and looks as well “Wow it really is a lot is that why your always up at night writing?” You start to feel a little bit on the spot which it doesn’t really matter that its you its just the subject “Yea but I could write more i dont feel like it’s enough” Zoro thinks to himself ‘what will be enough for her’ “Why it’s it not enough you write like your running out of time”…………

Part 2 coming soon ( i couldn’t finish my stomach hurts and it feels like i have the throw up)(update i threw up and i’m sick ass hell)

[subzeroparade]

what little you've posted of your tarnished oc really interests me! if you'd like, and if comfortable, could you share a little bit more about his lore + his connection to the ancestral followers? what motivated him to join them (other than death, as tagged in one of your posts) and why was it such an ultimatum?

Thank you anon (and sorry for my late response, shit is crazy atm).

Kotschei is a longstanding OC of mine (by which I mean 10+ years), and in his ER iteration he’s a scholar of the Lazuli Conspectus (astrologers who argue for the preeminence of the moon over the stars) and a faithful servant of Carian interests in the Academy. He’s also neither a fighter nor a terribly talented mage, which means he flees in the pseudo-counter-reformation we know happens when the other Conspectuses (all glintstone purists) wrest power from the Carians, depose Rennala, and reassert the Academy’s doctrinal position (as deferent to the authority of the stars).  His brush with the Ancestral Followers is really accidental - they don’t quite speak the same language, they have no written histories, and to a scholar of the Academy (and not a historian) they’ve never seemed more than a race of brutish non-believers. They are openly scornful of the Academy’s petty factional arguments about the moon and stars, immutable, true things that to them are fixed and unchanging rather than questions to be debated. By the Siofra riverbanks the moon’s face is obscured, and they take pity on Kotschei for it. On encountering the Ancestral Spirit, its magic astounds him: it decays and flourishes at once, dying and returning to the earth and living again, nature in service to it. He learns that Ancestral magic has no link to the stars or the moon, nor the black currents of deathblight or the gruesome way the Golden Order has made a farce of immortality.

So in his little bubble of woe is me I am a sinner on all fronts betraying the moon, he trades his own magic for Ancestral learning. He’s also a floppy little glass cannon, so getting skewered by their arrows and later watching them shoot is how he manages a degree of mastery over Loretta’s Greatbow. The Shining Horned Headband he wears for the rest of the game is one he fashioned himself, observing their techniques - on the branching antlers, alongside the flourishing buds, he grafts Carian blue glintstone shards. This is in part to channel their power, and in part because when he returns to Liurnia, shamanic regalia is an improbable disguise for an excommunicated mage. 

I don’t usually write extensively or lore dump about my OCs in particular, but I appreciate the ask (it's timely, since he will appear in the @gracedbygold Tarnished-centric zine). In the end I enjoyed beefing up his backstory enough that I turned any prospective lore-dump into a ficlet, which goes into a little more detail on how he got to where he’s going (from runaway mage to pledging himself to Ranni, first as a servant and eventually as potential consort). It’s not done yet, but here is a snippet:

“I see you look at me, Master Scholar, and I invite you to look closer.”  She spreads all four hands, though the gesture fails to be inviting. “You know what I am. I have lost my Empyrean body, and with it, some manner of power over the order of things. The Fingers, and the Greater Will by extension, have branded me their enemy. Dethroned, the academy has abandoned my royal house. I can muster no army. Many who would be my subjects think me dead. My kin have become rivals, trapped or compelled by their own machinations for power. I am a soul in a loosely-bound collection of porcelain limbs, and my only ally is the distant, mercurial Moon.” She leans forward. “Are you so unimaginative as to be bound by duty? This is not the winning side.”  A fine scholar’s argument, I want to tell her. We are not imaginative. We want to know the world, not guess at it. You cannot stand before your peers and imagine possibilities. You argue for truths, for once something is written down, there is security in certitude. Glintstone is a hard and cold discipline - improbable, I know, given the wobbling bodies and fragile egos who master it. For all our formulae and suppositions and mastery of cosmic principles, we mostly cast light and fling rocks. These are the things we are certain of.  The interesting part is guesswork, which, by virtue of its incertitude, means it’s not really scholarship. For all my learning, it’s no more than a series of lucky guesses that have delivered me here, before the last true daughter of the Moon.  “I reason,” I say at length, “that you can still inherit the world.”

[moonlightdreamzz]

safety net

a glimspe into the love of you and kim mingyu; a love that sometimes seems too good to be true.

🎧 ➤ safety net by ariana grande ft. ty dolla sign

pairing: mingyu x black!fem!reader

genre: fluff + light and brief smut

the soft morning light is filtered through your bedroom window, casting a warm glow on the room. you can’t help but notice the peacefulness of your surroundings: the gentle ticking of the clock, the rustling of the trees outside, and the distant chirping of birds. you feel grateful for this moment of stillness and contentment.

your love, mingyu, is seemingly in a deep slumber. he inhales deeply and exhales slowly, the sound of his breath adding to the peace of the moment. you'd been admiring him in all his beauty for the past two hours. his sun-kissed skin, which is even more beautiful now that it's summer, is holding you, as are his arms, which keep a firm grip on your body even while he's sleeping.

you inhale deeply, letting the breath out in dramatic fashion; a sound you could make only while he couldn’t hear you or else he would stop at nothing to know what’s bothering his girl. you could never hide your emotions from him no matter how hard you tried. he’d hold you hostage in this bed until you confessed.

“i wonder what you’re dreaming about.” you whisper barely audible, placing your cheek on his forehead and cupping his face. your lips can’t help but to place a kiss in the bullseye between his eyes. you begin to pepper gentle kisses all of his face to comfort yourself, but it’s not helping.

kim mingyu truly was something. and you genuinely couldn’t wrap your head around how you two ended up here so fast.

from the moment you met him, you knew he was special. it was like you had known each other for years, even though you had just met. you found yourself drawn to his kind heart, his easy laughter, and his gentle touch. he could read your thoughts, anticipate your needs, and make you feel like the most important person in the world like it was nothing.

these deep emotions are why you really hated how much you doubted it instead of enjoying each and every second with him. lately, your insecurities had been trying to come to the surface more and more no matter how much you tried to tame it.

“your mind is running.” his raspy voice sings to you, nuzzling closer into your chest. “I’m not at full energy yet, so you’re lucky. but just know when I wake up I’m going to get it out of you.”

“the only thing running is your mouth.” you bluff, even throwing in a fake chuckle to convince him that he didn’t know you as well as he did.

but he did know you. quite frankly, he knew you better than you knew yourself, which was just another thing to add onto his long list of perfection.

“oh word?” he smirks boyishly.

“are you using my lingo?”

“i could’ve sworn you were the one who said ‘what’s yours is mine’ right?”

now you’re fighting back a sly smile, knowing that if you giggled for even a mere second, he would know he’s winning your fake debacle.

“don’t be so quiet now.” he teases, removing his head from your chest to stretch his long body. “by the way, have I told you how thankful I am to you for getting a new bed?” he had been beaming about it since the two of you successfully put it together. it took you both forever to agree on the perfect color for the frame, but in the end, you were able to agree on white. mingyu no longer had to scrunch his large body in fetal position to sleep, and now you could properly lay on his chest as his legs stretched to the end of the mattress.

“i don’t think so…” you lie. you can’t help but tease him, and he responds by tickling you mercilessly. you laugh and squirm as he tickles your sides, your neck, and your feet. you try to fight back, but he’s too strong. you finally surrender, gasping for breath as he holds you close once more. you both lay in bed, panting and giggling, feeling like kids again.

“God, I love you so much.” he chuckles into your neck, before pressing a gentle kiss to it.

your heart stops beating for a moment, before continuing on again.

mingyu feels it when your heart seemingly stops. he wishes he could say he hated being such a tease to you, but that would be a lie and he will never lie to you.

he’s better at hiding it, but mingyu often doesn’t understand what he did to deserve you either. you, y/n, who is so encouraging. he knows he can always rely on you to be in his corner, providing words of support and affirmation, whether he's writing a new song, getting ready for a performance, or crying in your arms because he’s so damn overwhelmed. he could drown in the gratitude for you. he’s so glad to have you by his side because your unshakable faith in him provides him the assurance he needs to accomplish his goals

you’re his girl. his baby. his everything.

there’s a peaceful silent that begins to spread in the room once again, except this time mingyu is wide awake and staring at you. you can feel his eyes burning holes through you, but you’re used to it. as always, your scarf is halfway off of your head. your fuzzy edges are peeking out way more than mingyu knows you would like, so he does what he’s seen you do multiple times in frustration; remove it. unlike you though, gently.

you don’t blink.

“i said i love you.” mingyu repeats in a gentle tone. “so much.”

you snap out of your pacing mind once more to lock eyes with him, and his pearls are brimming with pure concern. your heart swells at how worried he always has to be for you.

“i-i love you too, baby. i’m sorry i just l—

“am overthinking?” he finishes for you.

you take what you assume to be your twentieth deep breath of the day. you then begin a bad habit of yours; you begin to scratch your scalp that was in dire need of some oil, all because you hate that fact that you were making it so obvious that you were having another moment.

mingyu releases you from his hold so that he can sit up on the bed now. his firm back leans on the soft headboard he had just installed only a week ago as he attempts to find the proper words to say to you.

“come here.” he instructs after about two minutes. he effortlessly pulls you on top of him so that you’re straddling his waist, and he immediately embraces you again. if only you knew what your touch did to him. how it made him feel like nothing could hurt him. your scent alone was enough for him, but he knows if he stays in this position he’ll fall asleep again.

“i’m sorry.” you whisper.

“i just wish you could see yourself through my eyes, baby.” he says in a frustrated voice. “through everyone’s eyes. you are quite literally the best thing that has and ever will happen to me. you’ve made me feel so much in so little time. although you’re not funnier than me,” he adds, just so he can see your precious smile, “you’re so damn hilarious. and precious. and don’t even try to act like this isn’t what’s wrong, because I know you. i know you.”

he squeezes your sides proudly; his alluring eyes reading nothing short of accomplished at the fact that you're all his. he’s sporting that signature smile he always did when he was extremely proud and passionate about what he’s speaking of. mingyu always knew exactly what to say to you to make you fall in love with him all over again.

his lips connect to yours in a gentle peck before continuing his confession to you.

“you’re so fucking beautiful. and I know you know that. but you question whether I’m real right? well I do the same thing. but I know it is. im going to marry you. i want to be with you for the rest of my life, y/n. and I’ll stop at nothing to prove that to you. i know you’ve had so many pieces of shit hurt you and I would beat them all up if I could. just know that I got you, boo.

you wrap your hands around his neck, getting even closer to him. “you got me, boo?”

“i do.” he sighs, connecting his forehead with yours in the same motion.

“you know I got you too, right?” you question, your mind repeating his words of him feeling like he was dreaming just as much as you do. how could he, the most beautiful man anybody would ever see in their lifetime, feel that way?

“i know you do. what we have, baby, it’s real. it’s the realest thing I’ve ever known.”

“i’m just so scared, because I know it’s real too. but what if one day things change? what if you don’t feel the same after awhile? someone better?”

mingyu practically burst out into laughter at your words, but he just as quick composes himself when he realizes you’re being genuine. you remove your brown eyes from his and began to look at the floor somberly.

“better than you? y/n, there’s nothing better. you’re it for me.” he takes your chin into his hands, forcing you to look at him. “look at me.” he instructs. “don’t be scared, my love.” mingyu’s lips began to kiss your right earlobe as he flips you over so that you’re on your back now. his hot breath sends shivers down your spine, and you can’t help but arch your back into him. you crave him in every way right now.

“i’ll show you how much I love you.” he manifests, his large hands beginning to fondle you in all the right places.

“you will?” your tone is a mix of teasing him as he loved to do to you, and pleading that he follows through with his word.

“i will. and when I’m making love to you, and tell you to repeat after me, you might wanna listen.” he begins to pepper kisses all over your chest, slowly but surely making his way down to his favorite place.

“give me my first affirmation, please.” you whimper.

“you’re mine.” he growls. “say it. say you’re mine. kim mingyu’s girl.”

“i’m yours, baby. i’m kim mingyu’s girl.” you say without thinking twice, your back arching once more.

it was going to be a long, but very needed afternoon for the two of you.

[oskea93]

☨ Fire Away ☨

✴︎ Chapter Ten (p.1) ✴︎

A/N: Why hello there, everyone! It's been a long while since I posted for this story, and I just want to apologize for that! In total honestly, I lost interest in this story. I didn't enjoy writing it anymore and I thought maybe the whole JCB fanbase has fizzled out, but I can see that's not the case. So in true fashion, this will be a two parter - just because there's a lot to write and I didn't want it to be crammed together. More drama and angst filled in the second part, but I thought it would be good to write in Caius POV for once, just to tell his side of the story.

Side note, if you haven't seen Horizon.... Run to the theater and go see it! I'm actually going again tomorrow to see it for the 3rd time... It's truly amazing! For my Jamie/Caleb story, I will be starting on the first real chapter tonight. I don't have an exact time when it will be released, hopefully by the weekend or a day before. But I just want to say thank you to everyone that is still reading Fire Away, it means so much and I hope you enjoy the new chapter ❤️

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Also! If you have an questions, comments, or just want to say hi - just send me a message and I would love to talk to y'all!

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Caius’s POV.

“Where’s that little wifey of yours been hiding lately, nephew?” I looked up from the paper – Aro standing in front of the window that overlooked the garden. “She’s in delicate condition and shouldn’t be left out of sight.”

I let out a sigh as I leaned back into the chair, “She’s perfectly fine.” My answer was short. “She’s been hanging around Charlotte and getting things ready for the nursery.”

Aro's gaze turned intense as he inquired, “She knows the gender?”

I shook my head, “No.” His sudden smile quickly dropped as he turned back towards the window. “Apparently, they couldn’t tell when she went to the doctors. They told her they would look again at her next appointment.”

He stayed silent for a moment as he turned to walk to the desk, “My physicians are perfectly capable of taking care of her here – that way she doesn’t have to go to an outside sou-“

“It’s not up to you, Aro,” I interrupted, my voice firm. “Fuck, it’s not even up to me. She's her own person, and she'll make her own decisions about her care.”

“You’re the father, Caius,” his eyes burning into mine. “She’s only the mother – you have all the say when it comes to that baby – especially if it’s a little boy.”

Before I could reply, a soft knock sounded on the door as Vanessa peeked her head in. Her small smile quickly fell once she met the stare of Aro – his body reacting as he beamed at her. “Oh, speak of the angel.”

“I can come back,” she started to back away.

“No, no darling,” Aro walked over, taking her hand as he pulled her into the room. “Caius and I were just speaking of you. How are you feeling, sweetheart?”

Her eyes connected with mine as she answered him, “Fine – thank you,” her hand protectively placed against her growing bump. The overalls she wore placed her stomach on display as the denim pressed against her skin.

Aro caught onto her actions. “How’s the littlest Volturi doing? It seems like it’s been ages since I last spoke to you, darling.”

I could tell that she was growing uncomfortable as she shifted her bare feet on the wooden floor. “Baby is doing just fine.” She gave him a small smile before directing her attention to me. I could tell something was bothering her, but she didn’t want to say with Aro still in the room.

“When are we gonna find out what the child is? You’re already past your 20-week mark, correct?”

I let out a sigh as he continued to press.

“21 weeks,” her voice soft. “Maybe at the next appointment they will be able to tell. The baby was being stubborn that day I guess.” A soft laugh broke through as she rubbed her stomach.

“Typical Volturi man if I heard of one,” Aro smiled. “Just like his handsome father – Caius was the same way when his mother was pregnant with him. We didn’t officially find out if he was male or female until his mother was 30 weeks along. I was finally able to talk her into seeing the family physician – pulled up the ultrasound right away and there he was.”

Vanessa stood silent.

“Well,” Aro clapped his hands together. “I will leave you two with some privacy,” he moved closer to where she was standing. “Still have plenty of things to do before the benefit tonight.” Aro’s body side by side with Vanessa’s, making me sit straighter in the chair as I watched. “Hope to see you there, sweet Vanessa.”

Vanessa took a step back as Aro tried to caress her arm as he left – his eyes darkening at her action. She was the first woman to deny his advances – Vanessa was the only woman to not bow down to my uncle, and that enraged him. She waited a moment once she was sure he was gone – a sigh of relief pushing past her lips.

Silence surrounded us – the words from our fight weeks ago still fresh on both our minds. I was still sleeping in the guest room – not wanting to barge my way back in until she was ready. The air between us was better than it was before. We were back on speaking terms – a gentle touch here and there when close together. I couldn’t blame her for feeling the way she did – my liquid courage causing word vomit to escape. I never meant those words – kicking myself the next morning as I watched her avoid me like I had the plague.

“You okay, darling?” I broke first.

She nodded her head, slowly stepping towards the desk. I couldn’t help but stare at her – absolutely stunning without even trying. Pregnancy had created a glow that made her even more stunning – a vision almost. Vanessa never had to try – whether she believed it or not. “Just wanted to tell you that me and Charlotte are going to town for a bit. I told her I would help her plant some flowers in the garden before I had to get ready.”

I couldn’t help but smile at the thought of her helping Charlotte. “She’s very particular about where she buys her seeds from – may have to come rescue you if you’re gone too long.” A sly smile came over her causing my heart to soar. I slowly removed myself from the chair, taking a couple steps before I towered over her petite frame. Her brown eyes synced with my blues as we took each other in.

"Are you sure you're okay?" I asked, my hands gently pulling her in, feeling the tension in her body slowly start to relax under my touch.

She hummed in response, her blue eyes locking with mine. "Everything's fine, Caius," she whispered softly, a faint smile playing on her lips.

I studied her face, searching for any traces of worry or doubt, but all I found was the familiar warmth and strength that always drew me to her. Despite her reassurance, a nagging feeling lingered in the back of my mind, telling me that something wasn't quite right.

I took a deep breath, trying to push away my concerns. "If anything's bothering you, you know you can talk to me, right?" I said, my voice filled with genuine concern.

As she nodded and the room fell into a brief silence, the tension between us seemed palpable, the air thick with unspoken words and emotions. Our bodies were mere inches apart, the closest we had been in weeks, and I could feel the longing in my fingertips, aching to touch her soft skin once more.

Before I could say anything else, she interjected, "I better go. Charlotte's probably waiting for me in the car." Her words cut through the moment, bringing a sense of reality back into the room.

Frustrated by the sudden interruption, I ran a hand through my hair, trying to mask my disappointment with a sigh that escaped through my lips. "Yeah," I murmured, my voice low with a tinge of regret. "We'll just make sure to be back before six – the dinner starts at seven sharp."

She gave me a small nod and a fleeting smile before slowly stepping out of the room, leaving me alone with my thoughts and the lingering ache of missed opportunities…

 I sat on the edge of the bed, the unfinished knot of my tie dangling loosely in my hand, thoughts of Vanessa and the unspoken tension between us weighed heavily on my mind. Downstairs, she was still with Charlotte, their voices drifting up to me as they tended to the newly potted flowers. The dress she had chosen for the evening hung elegantly against the closet door, the shimmer of glitter catching the soft light of early spring.

Her troubled expression from earlier lingered in my thoughts, her eyes reflecting a mix of worry and sadness that she chose not to share with me. I couldn't shake the feeling that something significant was troubling her, something she kept guarded within herself.

With a heavy sigh, I pushed myself off the bed, the need for a distraction leading me to the pack of cigarettes on the nightstand. However, my frustration grew as I discovered that the lighter had died, leaving me cursing under my breath.

Fumbling through the drawers in search of a replacement, my mind distractedly moved from one drawer to the next, until I reached Vanessa's drawer. Among her belongings, a small ultrasound photo caught my eye, its message hitting me like a ton of bricks.

"It's a boy!"

The words "It's a boy!" reverberate in my mind, the gravity of the news began to sink in with a profound weight. We were going to have a son - the Volturi heir that Aro had been eagerly anticipating, the next generation of our lineage. This child would be my firstborn, carrying with him the legacy of our family, the littlest prince destined to inherit the mantle of leadership in the kingdom my uncles had painstakingly built.

The thought of this new life, this tiny being who would one day grow to wield great power and responsibility, filled me with a mixture of emotions. Pride swelled within me at the prospect of fatherhood, mingled with a sense of duty to guide and protect this future leader. Yet, underlying it all was a deep sense of apprehension and uncertainty, knowing the challenges and expectations that awaited my son as he entered a world steeped in tradition and intrigue.

As I carefully placed the ultrasound photo back in its designated spot in Vanessa's drawer, the weight of the revelation still lingering in my mind, a pang of hurt and frustration crept into my thoughts. The fact that she hadn't shared the news of our baby's gender with me stung, albeit subtly. It was a reminder of the distance that had grown between us, a gap that seemed to widen with every unspoken truth and withheld emotion.

Reflecting on the situation, I couldn't deny the twinge of disappointment at not being the first to know about our son. The news of Vanessa's pregnancy itself had come as a shock, revealed to me in a moment of public unveiling orchestrated by Aro at Marcus's funeral, a setting that was far from ideal for such intimate revelations.

Closing the wooden drawer with a sigh, the forgotten need for a lighter now insignificant in comparison to the weight of the photo hidden atop the clothing in the 3rd drawer. Running my fingers through my hair, I gave the ends a hard tug in frustration. A part of me wanted to go out there and confront her right away – not wanting her to hide the truth any longer. The rational portion of my brain simply said to wait until after the benefit. The air between us was already tense – a fight right before the event was sure to make everyone’s night terrible.

The sound of soft footsteps on the staircase caught me by surprise, freezing me in my tracks as I quickly backed away from the drawer, my heart racing with a mix of anticipation and apprehension. Hurriedly, I moved towards the open window, seeking a moment of respite as I tried to collect my thoughts. Glancing back, I saw Vanessa entering the room, her eyes meeting mine as she closed the door behind her.

"I didn't realize you were still up here," she remarked casually, making her way over to the dress hanging on the closet door. "Figured you went with Aro to make sure everything was set up."

I cleared my throat, my voice betraying a hint of nervousness. "Uh, no," I replied, trying to sound composed. "He told me to just stay put until it was time to show up. Besides, I already checked on things this morning to ensure everything was proceeding smoothly. Can't exactly rely on Aro when it comes to dinner party arrangements."

I observed as Vanessa's expression shifted slightly; her curiosity evident as she focused on the dress in her hands. Sensing the need to change the subject, I quickly interjected, "How are the flowers? It seemed like you and Charlotte were quite in tune with them." I watched her inspect the dress she had chosen with Charlotte, undoubtedly envisioning how stunning she would look in it at the event.

“Got them all potted for the most part,” she said curtly. “I’m gonna shower real fast and get ready.”

Before I could reply, she had already retreated to the bathroom, the sound of the shower turning on filling the otherwise silent room. I listened as she stepped into the shower, my feet carrying me almost involuntarily to the bathroom door. Through the glass, her silhouette came into view – her bump prominently displayed as she lathered her hair. In that moment, she looked absolutely beautiful – not that she doesn’t in general – but there was something about her vulnerability that made her seem almost angelic.

A part of me wanted to jump into the shower with her – to tell her and show her how much I truly loved her. I would forgo the gala just to hold her in my arms for the rest of the night, to place my hand upon her growing stomach and speak to my son for the first time. That was all wishful thinking, though.

I let out a sigh as I slowly walked out of the bedroom, shutting the door to ensure her privacy. I found myself in the kitchen, searching the drawers for the forgotten lighter. Cursing aloud as my search came up empty.

"Try looking in the cupboard, dear," came a singsong voice. My nerves rattled at the sound of Charlotte’s unexpected suggestion.

"Jesus, Charlotte," I muttered, my head hanging as my heart pounded in my chest. "Trying to give me a heart attack?"

She let out a chuckle, the sound light and teasing. "The world might cease to exist if you can’t smoke that cigarette, darling." she said, gliding into the kitchen with an air of effortless grace. Her presence was always a mix of comfort and command, something that never failed to both soothe and unsettle me.

I opened the cupboard as she suggested and, sure enough, the lighter was there. I grabbed it and turned to face her, shaking my head with a rueful smile. "What would I do without you?"

"Probably lose that handsome head of yours if it wasn’t screwed on straight," she quipped, her eyes sparkling with amusement. She leaned against the counter, her gaze softening as she looked at me. "She getting ready for tonight?” Her eyes glancing to the ceiling.

I nodded my head as I lit the stick, the flame casting a warm glow that flickered in the dim kitchen light. "Yeah," I replied, my voice thick with emotion. "I just want to thank you for accepting her and making her feel loved. She seems to really enjoy your company, and I can tell she appreciates your kindness – especially now with the baby coming along and all."

Charlotte's expression softened, a tender smile playing at the corners of her lips. "You don't have to thank me, Caius," she said gently. "Vanessa has been an absolute joy. She's a remarkable woman, and you're incredibly lucky to have her in your life. For once—" she reached for my hand, her touch warm and reassuring—"you thought things out with your brain instead of what's zipped inside your trousers."

A laugh escaped past my lips as I nodded my head. "She's not like the others, that's for sure."

Charlotte chuckled along with me, her eyes twinkling with amusement. "Well, it's about time, isn't it? Finding someone who truly understands you, who brings out the best in you."

I took a deep breath, feeling the weight of her words. "Yeah, it is. She's changed everything for me. Made me realize what truly matters." In the short time that we’ve been married, my thoughts were no longer focused on myself or the family business. Before Vanessa, I didn’t care what happened or who I hurt. I was only focused on getting whatever job needed to be done.

"And she's just as lucky to have you," Charlotte nodded, a knowing look in her eyes. "It's a lot, carrying a life inside you. But she's strong. Both of you are."

“You think I’m gonna be a good father?” My eyes focused on my ringed finger. “I mean I can only model myself after Aro and Marcus – they’ve raised me since I was small – most of the time it was you and the other help that I would see for days.”

Charlotte's smile softened as she reached out to place a comforting hand on my shoulder. "Being a good father isn't about having all the perfect examples," she said gently. "It's about love, commitment, and the willingness to learn and grow. You have all those qualities in spades."

I looked up at her, the worry in my chest easing slightly. "But how do I know I won't mess it up? What if I make the same mistakes?"

Charlotte shook her head. "We all make mistakes, dear. It's part of being human. But the fact that you're asking these questions, that you care so deeply about being a good father, shows that you're already on the right path."

I sighed, the weight of my doubts still lingering but feeling a bit lighter. "I just want to do right by her, by our child."

"And you will," Charlotte reassured me. "You have a good heart, and you care. That's more than enough to start with.”

I gave her a small genuine smile.

"Now—" Her hands moved down my bicep, her touch warm and familiar. "Where is the rest of your suit?"

We both laughed as I explained to her, "This is the style at the moment. I can’t be all stiff and boring like Aro and those other men – gotta stand out in the crowd, Charlotte."

She shook her head, still chuckling, her eyes filled with a mix of amusement and fondness. "Well, you're certainly doing a good job of that," she said, her voice teasing but affectionate.

Her aging eyes peered past me, and a soft smile formed on her lips. "Well, I think the beauty standing behind you will make that happen more than your outfit will."

I turned to see Vanessa approaching, her presence instantly lighting up the room. She radiated a warmth and grace that seemed to draw everyone's attention, including mine.

The champagne-colored dress that Vanessa had chosen fit her body like a glove, the color and sparkles making her already glowing skin pop out even more. My eyes trailed down to her stomach, my heart swelling as the bump was more noticeable than usual. I honestly couldn’t even put a sentence together—her beauty rendered me speechless.

“Oh, darling—" Charlotte shuffled past me as she made her way to Vanessa. "You look absolutely breathtaking."

Vanessa smiled warmly at Charlotte, leaning down slightly to give the older woman a kiss on the cheek. "Thank you, Charlotte," she said, her voice filled with gratitude. She glanced my way, her eyes twinkling with affection and amusement at my awestruck expression.

As they exchanged pleasantries, I took a moment to compose myself, trying to find the right words to express what I was feeling. Vanessa's presence was like a beacon, illuminating everything around her and grounding me in the moment.  

“Caius, sweetheart—” Charlotte’s eyes glinted with mischief as she and Vanessa turned their attention onto me. “Rather than keeping your jaw on the floor, why don’t you tell your wife how beautiful she looks?”

I snapped out of my reverie, feeling a blush creep up my neck. Vanessa’s amused smile only made my heart race faster. “Right,” I stammered, taking a step closer to her. “Vanessa, you look... breathtaking. I mean, you always do, but tonight you’re just...”

Vanessa’s eyes softened. “Thank you,” she said, her voice gentle. I could still sense a hint of timidness in her posture as I stepped beside her.

I cleared my throat, feeling a mix of nerves and excitement. I was apprehensive but determined to provide the support she deserved. “Shall we go?” I asked, my hand hovering near her lower back.

She slowly nodded, a soft smile still framing her face. “Yes.”

As we made our way to the awaiting SUV, Vanessa walked a couple of steps ahead of me. Every movement she made seemed to draw my attention, and I felt a surge of protectiveness and love. My body instinctively moved into doting husband mode as I rushed to open the car door for her.

“Here, let me help you,” I said, extending a hand to assist her into the vehicle. Her fingers brushed against mine, sending an electrical current through my body. The simple touch was enough to make my heart race.

“Thanks,” Vanessa murmured as she settled into the seat, her eyes meeting mine. Her gaze was unreadable, a mix of emotions that I couldn’t quite decipher.

I settled into the seat beside her, and the driver quickly gathered himself, rolling down the driveway. The ride was mostly silent, filled only with the rhythmic sound of raindrops hitting the darkened windows as the car traveled down the interstate.

I glanced over at Vanessa, her profile illuminated by the occasional streetlight. She seemed lost in thought, her fingers lightly tracing patterns on her lap. I wanted to reach out, to bridge the quiet gap between us, but I hesitated, unsure of what to say…

[777rare]

ASTROLOGY OBSERVATIONS PT.6

THESE NOTES ARE ONLY A STUDY OF MINE AND HAS/HAS NOT BEEN PROVEN YET, SO IF IT DOES NOT RESONATE WITH YOU, FORGIVE ME AS IT WAS ONLY A STUDY/OBSERVATION OF MINE.

I DO NOT PLAGIARIZE, COPY OR REWORD ANY OF MY FELLOW ASTROLOGY OBSERVERS POSTS AND I DEMAND THE SAME IN RETURN

DO NOT READ FURTHUR IF YOU ARE A MINOR.

hiii, I am so sorry for not responding to any asks or being active here. I know I can't give any excuse but yes, I have been travelling a lot recently and I have only some time to check out some posts n all here. I'll make sure to respond to my loving readers asks so please be patient, I'm sorry. So yeah! I'm here now and I hope u enjoy!❤🙌🏻

kiss asteroid-venus (esp.conjunction, sextile) are such sensual, romantic kisses. They're amazing kissers. They can make anyone fall head over heels for them after just one kiss hahaha. They love love love hickeys, neck kisses so much (giving and receiving).💋👄💓

Angel asteroid in pisces/12th House/ in pisces degree(12°,24°) natives recieve guidance and messages from their angels intuitively, like through sudden thoughts, while daydreaming and visions. They also receive messages and guidance through their dreams while asleep and through meditation.👼😇🧘‍♀️👁🧿

Kiss asteroid in earth signs are the most sensual kissers. So damn- 😩🤒 godd. The most sexc kisses for real.🤌🏻🔥

I feel like kiss asteroid in Capricorn/aquarius gon have their first kiss a little late in their life or if they have had it early it would be unexpected or not so enjoyable. I don't know. Just guessing. Please let me know how this relates. Doesn't matter if it isn't true, I would be grateful for your interaction.❤😊

born asteroid aspecting 3+ personal planets natives are born to accomplish a lot of things in this birth. These natives become a lot of things in life like a singer, actor, dancer, politician, anything more. Example: Arnold Schwarzenegger has born asteroid aspecting mercury,venus,mars, jupiter and his born asteroid is conjunct mercury and venus. He became an actor(venus=art,drama,creativity), a bodybuilder(mars= muscles, stamina), a politician(mercury= wit,intelligence, communicator, messenger) he also came to be known by a lot of people in the world( jupiter= expander, worship, attention, luck). Minor aspects count as well! Never ignore minor aspects in any kind of observation as it is equally important too.☁️☀️💓

Transylvania asteroid aspecting ascendant natives suit the vampire/Dracula look. These guys look amazing when they put on fangs. A lot of people find these natives alluring yet scary. Like people be like "wow, brrrr"-😮😳😰

Check which sign/house jupiter is in your natal chart. Since jupiter expands immensely, that would be the vibes you give off the most. Ex: jupiter in fire sign or house give off vibes that project activeness, passion and even too much fire in their aura or anger at times. People may feel They are always angry or upset because they have this angry look or glare or even just a face of that sort.💥

Pars fortunae/part of fortune asteroid- venus(esp. Conjunct or sextile) natives can get lots of fortune if they do anything related to beauty, jewelery, clothing, fashion and all things related to venus. These natives can also have a lot of fortune because of their own beauty.💅🏻👄🙌🏻

Natives with sweet asteroid conjunct sun/moon/venus are honestly the most sweetest people alive. They're so so damn sweet and loving in nature. These natives are so sweet you could be diabetic after hearing them say something about you lmfao😩💓❤🤌🏻

asteroids mentioned: 13954,8267,11727,1537,11911

That's it for today, I know it's not much but im trying my best so I really hope you guys enjoyed!❤🫂 And again I will reply to all the asks and I'll be more active soon. Thankyou so much for your time, bye!❤🏝

[alicentrasers]

Hi!! I'd quite like to ask about Dogma'a Rulebook please! (Also Fuck me in the arse tonight because that title!!!)

Lmao, I was waiting for someone to ask about that!

Dogma's Rulebook is another fic from my old co-author. They wrote about 3ish chapters before jumping to another midnight idea. Minor editing has occurred with this one but I'll be honest, I haven't read it in a while.

General premise is about Dogma's transition from the front lines, after umbara, into the guard. It covers his introduction, his relationships with his new squad, the commanders, and a possible love interest via civilian- though Im thinking about cutting that character as his main purpose was simply cuddle piles.

Here is a section that I have deemed Safe for Public Consumption:

"The barracks themselves were not much different then the ones on the Resolute, although there were many more bunks with space to spare, and even a large window on one side. The Commander starts talking to Dogma again, something along the lines of the freshers being in the back and some trooper habits. The large window has several mattresses placed in front of it, along with a veritable nest of pillows and blankets. The bunks that they were scavenged from have been fashioned into shelves with everything from holopads to odd plants stored in their cubbies. These bits of improvised furniture create a sort of room within a room, blocking off the view to most other bunks, and with the evening sun it all looks rather peaceful.

A firm hand clapping his shoulder brings Dogma back to conversation, Commander Thorn is wrapping up his welcome speech it seems. “Remember the other vode here can help you find anything, you’ll start on basic patrols with your assigned group after tomorrow, get some rest Private.” Dogma nods, he hasn’t used more than a handful of words on the way here and he wasn’t about to change that, hopefully it wouldn’t seem too disrespectful to the Commander. Honestly Dogma isn’t usually this wrapped up in his own head, but ever since Umbara he’s been distracted more and more lately, usually by the smallest things too."

Like I said, old work, needs major edits. I'm not sure if I'm going to keep it as Dogma is not one of my main characters for this AU.

-*-

Hehehehe, Fuck me in the Ass Tonight

That is the Working Title for the Ongoing Chat-fic Landline Across the Galaxy posted on my AO3. Currently, I had to change the working title to Funk Me on the Dance Floor cause I work on that doc at work a lot lmao.

This is an Information/Gossip Chat started by Jesse. It features characters that I don't normally see in most CloneWars chat fics, as well as some OCs of mine to add to the chaos. Landline has the heavy job of Connecting all of my WIPs and Posted Fics together into a general timeline, as well as providing Lore and another perspective on the canon events.

Oh, and memes

Never forget the memes

Here is a section from the unposted Plans for new chapters:

"Ahsoka: JESSE'S GOT SPACE INSTAGRAM AND NOBODY TOLD ME!!

Jesse: SOKA, HUSH

Ahsoka: YOU FOLLOWED AND UNFOLLOWED BARRIS, I'M GOING TO KNOW

Jesse: IT WAS A MISTAP, I APOLOGIZED

Ahsoka: ACCEPT MY FOLLOW, YOU COWARD

Ahsoka: WHY BOTHER WITH A PRIVATE ACCOUNT ANYWAY

Jesse: I WANT YOU TO LOOK AT THUS CHAT, AND ASK THAT AGAIN

Ahsoka: ….

Ahsoka: okay, true

Ahsoka: BUT U STILL DNT TRLL ME

Jesse: have you considered that maybe I don't want ppl seeing what I post?

Ahsoka: Jesse

Ahsoka: You have 3500 followers…

Jesse:...

Ahsoka:...

Ahdoka: LET ME IN

Jesse: NEVER

[Kix is now Online.]

Kix: And this is why I have this commline muted

[Comet is now Online.]

Comet: Jesse… Why are you shirtless in your profile picture…

Kix: >:("

Yes, I normally write snippets for this fic while sleep deprived and watching vines. I am /hilarious/

[archivalofsins]

Oh yeah the funniest shit ever-

Mahiru being entirely disinterested in Shidou-

2023/10/24 Shidou's birthday

Mahiru: Shidou-san, you have a family...right? Having family, having children, how does it feel...?

Shidou: ...Yes, it's a wonderful thing. Children are... Well, they're hope itself. When you have children, growing older becomes enjoyable. The more you age, the more your children grow.

Mahiru: Ah...how wonderful. It was my dream to become a bride. It may be a little old-fashioned but, I wanted to make it come true...

Shidou: It's not too late. I will keep you alive, Shiina-kun. Let's get out of here and make that dream come true. ...You still have your whole life ahead of you.

Meanwhile, with Futa-

2024/01/17, Mahiru's birthday

Futa: ......Hey, Mahiru. Are you...doing alright? Isn't there any way you can get better...?

Mahiru: What's wrong, Futa-kun? Yeah, I'm not feeling great... But Shidou-san has been taking care of me all this time. I'm sure if I keep getting treatment like this, I'll get better...

Futa: I see. Continue the treatment, huh... How can you truly be saved, I wonder?

Mahiru: Saved...?? Are you worried about me? ……That's nice of you, Futa-kun. Just thinking that way... Mahiru feels saved already.

Despite Shidou constantly helping her- She has a more positive response to Futa showing concern for her. When he tries to give encouraging words with an undertone of flirting. Since he said let's get out here and make that dream cone true crickets. Again probably because he's not her type and she's stayed this.

20/06/08

Mahiru: Shidou-san…… you’re really good-looking. Personally, I think you’d be better if you ate a bit more, but you’re slim and tall and well put together to boot…… You must’ve been super popular up until now, right?

Shidou: ……yeah, that’s true…… I did my share of fooling around in the past.

Mahiru: Oh~? That’s not the sort of answer I’d expect from you. I’ve got it! Somebody told you that if you replied like that people wouldn’t resent you so much, right?

Shidou: Haha, I’m surprised you guessed. ……it seems that no matter what guise I put on, it’s meaningless against a woman’s insight.

You know who's good with kids reportedly liked by Amane? Mahiru. You know who is a good communicator and on good terms with most in the prison? Mahiru. You know who was able to guess that what Shidou said was due to advice from his wife that helped him because he's usually careless when it comes to personal matters- Mahiru!

"Let's get out of here and make that dream come true."

Meanwhike despite that clear come on when Futa shows comcern someone whom she complained about as no good for being a bully. Well, she started really giving-

"I’m going to start relying on you if you’re kind to me, so please forgive me, thanks!"

Energy if I'm being honest.

"That's nice of you, Futa-kun. Just thinking that way... Mahiru feels saved already."

Meanwhile, Shidou proposing to start a new family like there's still time. Their are lives that need saving mine. I've accepted I can't bring back the dead but maybe I could just start a new family. Meanwhile, Mahiru is just here like "Sorry, I like reciprocity. I want to receive too. So, no... You're still too thin for me on top of that. Meaning I'm just going to politely ignore your advances." And going I already feel saved just from your concern alone to Futa.

These timelines have so many funny implications.

[star-fandoms]

The demons took hold of me again

The "demons" being Sally Face... SIGH!! I was OBSESSED with this game in late middle school early high school, and now I'm back baby. Crazy what seeing fanart will do. ANYWAYS!! time to introduce my babeyyyyy

Here are "refs" cause i know these don't exactly count, but eh, i dont like drawing feet/shoes! ANYWAYS!! Slight Sal redesign, I'll probably end up putting him in whatever emo ass fit honestly. Anyways I love cute fashion sooooo obvs had to make my girl cute asf. It's kind of a gap moe moment with her cause my girl has seen the horrors(like literally ANY other of my ocs honestly)

QUICK NOTE ON SAL'S REDESIGN!! The original design is fine, I'm not "fixing" the design or anything, it was simply for fun, I wanted to see him in more emo fashion and thought it fit and looked good! The necklace he's wearing is actually a locket! I can see him having a little picture of all his friends close to his heart(SOBBING ONE SEC) I might also put Sal in gothic and scene outfits eventually as well, I actually thought about giving him scene coontails on the two little front sections!

TRANSCRIPT

Not a super organized outfit, but they don't care, they like their outfit

Emo ass outfits

Prob graphic design tee, I just didn't want to draw it.

Literally will never grow again, wears platforms tho(Note: With platforms on, she's 5'3)

More organized fashion, honestly wears a lot of different styles(Note: usually seen in cute, comfy clothes, but also can wear emo outfits, clowncore, really anything honestly, she likes a lot of different styles!)

Her name is Jellie, not really, but she doesn't really remember her name. The gang picked it out for her(in which they simply asked her what she likes and she said "jellyfish" and they went "okay, Jellie for short" and she's sported the name since) She doesn't live in Addison apartments, but she lives close by enough to walk and occasionally would sleep in Larry's treehouse when she got kicked out(which eventually they offer her a place to stay when that happens)

She's known of Sal since the first day of school for him after moving, and the rest of the cast(Larry, Todd, Ashley, and Travis(and some other Sally Face oc's of mine that are still in the works)) for even longer, however she never had the courage to really talk to them. She doesn't know how to make friends or talk to people and instantly assumes that she'll just be a burden and annoy them and that they'll all hate her. She's also a stickler for rules and is horrified of being late or doing anything to get in trouble, she states that "she'll never get to college and that the teachers will tell her to kill herself" if she's late for even a minute. She's usually pretty stoic or straight up freaking out and muttering self deprecating thoughts.

TW: SELF HARM SCARS!! (not realistic)GORE!!

HERES SOME EXTRA INFO ABOUT JELLIE!!(based off of the doodles)

She cuts, a LOT!! She literally hates herself so much and does a lot of harmful things to her body. She just goes in when she cuts, she doesn't think about placement or how deep she goes, as long as she bleeds and feels pain(please don't cut and get help in you can if you struggle with suicidal thoughts)

She really REALLY like horror and doesn't react much when she watches scary stuff. Not that it existed at the time, but she could handle those 50/50 challenges EASILY!! Girl watches a lot of true crime and goes digging for shit, she straight up just looks up images of dead people(she realizes how fucked up this is in the future)

Literally awful at smiling, you can TELL she has not smiled in a bit. She could be genuinely happy and still would not be able to smile normally. It also hurts her because she doesn't use her face muscles often(hardly spoke for years, only eats dinner, doesn't smile) It is something that gets better in the future, but the cries whenever she laughs!

The way she stares at people creeps them out, she's often bullied for it(amongst a shit ton of other things) She does NOT realize she does this or that it's creepy, she continues to do this even in the future LOL!! Also she's not mad, this is just how she stares at people

If she gets forced to live another life, she wants to be reborn as a Jellyfish. She really, REALLY loves the ocean and aquatic animals!

She has hallucinations and visions(like how Sal has visions) however, she cannot tell the difference between the two. It's easy to tell from an outside perspective when she has visions though because she gets nosebleeds every time and occasionally passes out(the passing out gets worse the older she gets and the more frequent the visions become) She refuses to tell her friends though because she's so happy she finally has friends and is worried that they will be weirded out by them

Finally! Just some art i did of 16 year old Sal and Jellie, it took forever and my hand and wrist are sore(i've just been drawing and writing nonstop for the past week anyways so oh well LOL, the carpal tunnel bouta go CRAZY! Cant wait to get another ganglion cyst) but it was worth it, they are worth it. Anyways! The scenario was that Jellie was hiding from her bullies(idk some random ass background ocs i made for SF) however Sal wasn't expecting Jellie to hide behind him, much less wrap her arms around him. Erm ^^ they cute or whatever

[niallsgoldhoop]

Chapter Two

Wren

Six Months Later

I need coffee.

Poking my head out of my office, I look left and right down the hallway before making a break for the coffee machine.

It’s been six months since I was hired at Willow Lake Golf Resort as their marketing executive and for each of those six months I’ve tried to stay as invisible as possible.

That’s what happens when you show up for your first day of work and meet your boss— the very same person you ran into at the grocery store. In retrospect, it wouldn’t be so bad if I hadn’t spilled not just the diet soda in my basket all over his pants, but also managed to soak them in pickle juice as well.

When I walked into his office that day it took everything in me not to turn around, get in my car, and drive it off the nearest bridge.

I was perfectly fine with running into an attractive man with an even more attractive accent and living my entire life knowing that I’d never see him again— More than fine, even.

Ha.

If only life was that easy.

Instead I’ve spent every day trying to avoid him at all costs.

“Wren.”

At the sound of the deep, low voice behind me I jump which sends the freshly brewed coffee all over the back of my hand. “Shit—“

“Here.” Placing his hand on my waist, Niall guides me over to the sink before turning on the cold water. “This should help. Are you okay?”

I try to ignore how close he’s standing to me and I’m definitely ignoring the way his cologne smells as his words skate across the shell of my ear.

“I’m okay.” The words come out as a whisper, barely audible. “We should probably stop meeting like this.”

He laughs behind me, the sound like a warm blanket. “You know, I’d have to agree.”

With the cool water running over the red skin, my breath hitches in my throat as Niall takes my wrist and turns it over in his hand.

“Make sure you put something on this so the swelling goes down.” Dragging his thumb across the edge of the mark, I hold my breath. “I don’t want to see you with a scar.”

His finger moves across my skin two more times and the way it sends goosebumps across my skin has me reaching for the faucet and turning it off before grabbing some paper towels to dry my hands and trying not to wince as it runs over the sensitive spot.

“I should probably go—“

“I’m surprised to see you out of your office.” Niall smiles as he leans against the counter, crossing his arms and making the muscles in his arms flex against the sleeves of his shirt. “Seems like you always hide in there.”

“I don’t hide in my office.” I laugh, trying not to sound as nervous as I feel right now.

His eyes find mine and hold steady for just a beat longer, the blue so intense that even as mortified as I am there no way I could look away.

Maybe it’s not too late to run away and join the circus.

“Rory said that you’ve made significant strides over the last few months with the marketing and I’m glad I was able to catch you out of your office today to tell you that you are a great addition to our team.” His arms move from across his chest, instead pressing his palms on the counter behind him. “Thank you for everything that you do and continue to do for Willow Lake.”

“Um, you're welcome.” I can feel the heat rush to my cheeks as I push my long hair behind my ear. “I’m just grateful to be working here.”

“We are equally grateful to have you.” His smile is wide as he steps away from the counter and walks towards me, making my heartbeat gallop in my chest. “If you need anything, promise me that you’ll let me know?”

Nodding, I move to the open doorway, bumping my shoulder against it in true Wren fashion. “Yeah, yeah. I promise. I’ll let you know.”

“Good.” Niall’s smile pulls up more on one side in a smirk.

“Well, I’m going to get back to work.” Smiling, I wave like a complete idiot before ducking out of the room.

Could I be any more embarrassing? God.

Niall Horan was one of the most renowned golfers of our time and it was clearly impossible for me to act like a normal person when he’s around. With three wins at The Master’s under his belt and so many accomplishments, it was hard not to be in awe of him in general.

Turn him into a nice person with pretty blue eyes?

That’s just not fair for the rest of us.

Finally back behind my desk, I lay my head down on my desk and let out a long breath.

Maybe I’ll just stay in my office for the rest of my life.

Hiding just like I said I don’t do.

—————

“Jenna?”

There’s no way to mask my surprise when I press the phone up to my ear.

“Hi! How are you?” My sister's voice is bright and full of excitement. “I miss you!”

Rinsing off my plate and sliding into the bottom rack of the dishwater, I dry off my hands with a dish towel. “I’m good. What’s up? Do you need anything?”

“Why would I need something?” Jenna laughs. “Maybe I just wanted to call and talk to my sister.”

“It’s just been awhile since we talked.” I shrug even though she can’t see me.

She blows out a breath on another laugh. “It hasn’t been that long, Wren.”

“You’re right.” Agreeing with her has always been the easiest option, even though I know for a fact it’s been more than a month since her name has flashed across my screen. “Catch me up on your life.”

Jenna is four years younger than me and at twenty four she knows anything and everything there is to know about life. So while I pick up around my house, she catches me up on her life.

You would think that as sisters we would be close, but we never have been. More than once we’ve drifted apart due to our differences and mostly from the way Jenna has always seemed to treat me.

Being treated as the root of all of her problems and someone she couldn’t stand most of the time will do that to you.

She tells me about her boyfriend that she’s been with for about a year, something that is news to me although I don’t quite catch his name. I also listen as she explains her new job and how much she loves it.

About thirty minutes into the phone call she asks how I’m doing and asks about my job at Willow Lake.

Almost everyone knows about Willow Lake.

Even before Niall purchased it, the course was so well renowned for the pristine grounds and a clubhouse made for throwing parties. I’m pretty sure it was even in a list of top ten golf courses you should visit in your lifetime if you were an avid golfer.

“We’re starting a new program—“

“Do you guys have parties there?” Jenna interrupts. “Because my birthday is next week and I think it would be fun if we did it there.”

Closing my eyes, I try to take a flaming breath. “Jenna, you can’t just expect to be able to have a party in a week at Willow Lake.”

“Don’t you work there?” Her attitude is clear. “I get that you just don’t want to help me—“

“It’s not that, Jenna.” Running my hand through my hair, I take a deep breath. “You know I don’t mind helping you but this is so last minute.”

A disbelieving laugh comes through the phone. “Whatever— I shouldn’t have even called.”

“Jenna—“

I don’t even get to finish my sentence before the line goes dead.

Dread fills my body from tips of my toes to the ends of my fingertips, knowing that my parents will reach out and ask again begging me for help and I’ve never been able to say no to them.

Even more dread fills my body when I think about how hard it is to pull last minute strings and the only person that would be able to help me—

The one person I spend all my time avoiding.

Niall Horan.

—————

okay okay i’m actually more excited to put this here than wattpad 😂😂😂😂

-Alex

🍀

[buffster]

Real Me (BTVS 5.02)

This is part of my ongoing Buffyverse Project, where I write notes/meta for every episode in an attempt to better understand the characters and themes of the shows. You can find the BTVS list here and the ATS list here. Gifs are not mine.

In hindsight, it's funny how they attempted to make Dawn seem mysterious and malevolent only to later reveal she's just a dramatic teenager.

This episode is largely about introducing Dawn as a character and her place in Buffy's life. Real Me is interesting from a meta perspective, because we're watching everyone acclimate to Dawn in real time even though they believe they've known her for years.

In typical little sister fashion, Dawn remains totally unimpressed by Buffy's slaying. If no one else is going to take Buffy down a notch, Dawn will have to. Her relationship with her sister is the most strained.

The addition of Dawn is also revealing of Joyce, who moves from having an understandably complicated relationship with her complicated daughter to just seeming like a negligent parent. She pawns Dawn off on Buffy a lot and doesn't seem much more involved with her normal daughter than her slaying one. Dawn also isn't getting the pseudo-father figure thing from Giles, who is characteristically only concerned with his slayer.

Dawn does enjoy Willow and Tara, who seem to adore her and treat her like a beloved little sister (and less like an annoying one). It doesn't seem like she knows they're a couple yet. Tara especially is very protective of her and worries about how much of an outsider Dawn feels like. Some of this is projection, but it's also true. Dawn is expected to hang on the sidelines and not be a bother, so she gains attention by being a nuisance. I think Buffy's friends also find Dawn easy to sympathize with, because she's the non-special weirdo rather than the popular chosen one. They get that.

When Buffy is forced to drag Dawn along to The Magic Shop, it's little surprise she finds trouble. What does Joyce expect at this point, exactly? The owner of the shop is dead. Harmony is now running a Sunnydale gang. Outside, Dawn has her first encounter with someone mentally ill that can sense something off about her.

Joyce still isn't ready to take Dawn that evening (she's working) so Buffy calls in Xander to babysit so she can patrol. Dawn has a crush on Xander. Her perception of events is child-like, likely reflecting how much they shelter her (she thinks he went "undercover" to stop Dracula). I love seeing Xander interact with people. He just has a friendly nature, so he's able to easily listen to Dawn's rant about Buffy and be supportive just as he listens to Buffy rant about Dawn.

It's fun watching Riley's confusion over Buffy's struggle to deal with her sister. Yes, Dawn is clueless about slaying. Yes, Dawn gets coddled. Yes, Dawn often gets more attention. What's new? Well, all of it. Buffy is struggling to adjust.

Buffy: I guess. It's just - I know it's always been this way… She's the baby. But, for some reason, it's really been getting to me lately. She's always around.

Tensions come to a head when Dawn accidentally invites Harmony inside. Buffy is furious. I'm assuming Dawn was slipped into everyone's memories as seamlessly as possible, meaning she had little involvement/impact on previous events. You get the sense this season that Dawn being in danger/involved in supernatural events is new and not something they remember.

Buffy: No, Dawn has to be coddled and protected from the big bad world. Well, you know what? We're turning Dawn into a little idiot whose going to get us all killed!

I enjoyed watching Buffy's frustration over everyone's easy forgiveness of Dawn. It's true that "put your big girl panties on" was pretty much the message a young Buffy got at every turn. She wasn't given a pass for being youthful and naive, and it makes her angry that Dawn gets one. Especially since there are rarely dire consequences for her mistakes. Buffy was punished pretty badly every time she messed up. Seeing Dawn living the life she should have had and be ungrateful must be hard. Likewise, being the kid sister to the Chosen One must be hard.

Buffy: Harmony, when you tried being head cheerleader, you were bad. When you tried to chair the Homecoming committee, you were really bad. But when you try to be bad… You suck.

Unsurprisingly, Harmony isn't difficult to defeat. Buffy beats up on Spike to get the info for her hide out. He seems to be growing resentful.

Buffy: Well, apart from the fact that magic shop owners in Sunnydale have the life expectancy of a Spinal-Tap drummer, have you ever run a store before?

Giles: I was a librarian for years. This is exactly the same, except that people pay for the things they never return. This will give me focus, help me increase my resources - and keep you lot from tramping about my flat at all hours. There may even be space for you to train in the back.

Buffy: Boy, you've really thought this through. How bored were you last year?

Giles: I watched 'Passions' with Spike. Let us never speak of it.

New location: Magic Shop.

Character Notes:

Buffy Summers: Buffy does not understand Dawn's reference to Hogwarts.

Dawn Summers: She has a Third Eye Blind Poster.

Harmony Kendall: She was stood up by minion Brad Bellamy (who she turned) in the tenth grade. She likes unicorns.

Riley Finn: Riley gets boyfriend points here. He sincerely doesn't mind her canceling plans (and totally forgetting him) here and is just sweetly supportive.

Rupert Giles: He bought a sports car as a sort of post-slayer crisis. It's not working out too well.

[aftereality]

user loading… GONG YIYANG. your current avatar is registered as NING YIZHUO ( NINGNING ). you have been logged in for 23 years since 3001 APRIL 7. your highest ranking stats are CREATIVITY and IMMATURITY. please select your playlist from 666 WITH A PRINCESS STREAK or SAID THE CITY IS MINE for today. last saved activity: working as a STYLIST @ RE:SKIN. resume your ongoing game?  • • • 

hi, i'm ruvi, bringing to you terra's newest fashion girlie who's back from her server hopping trip that got cut short because her parents cut her off, so she's funding herself by hustling over at re:skin's stylist department. her info and connections are below, please like the post to plot and i’ll send a message here or send you my disc ♡

yiyang grows up quite privileged. her family weren't visionaries by any means, but they had the money to invest early in terra when they saw the signs. that wealth has only accumulated since then, and yiyang is born with a diamond rendered spoon in her mouth by the time the wealth reaches her generation.

so life is so easy, for her. things happen when she snaps her fingers, metaphysically. or literally physically? because she gets that they're code in a simulation and all that, but if she feels real to herself, that's all yiyang needs. she treats the whole simulation with a bit of irreverence, having a tendency to drop sarcastic quips and references to being code without meaning it, because she doesn't actually feel like code.

she has more money than she knows what to do with, so yiyang took a trip around the servers back when she was 20, spending a year each in allara, illori, and evros, just for the fun of it! the plan was to make a round trip with omicron as her last stop, but something got in her way... something being her parents, who decided she needed to grow her own wings.

and now life is difficult, because she's been cut off, with a generous allowance that just isn't enough for her last trip over! and she's been booted out to live in the megabuildings, the horror? yiyang decides to make use of her interest in fashion and incredible good taste (her words) to work as a stylist in re:skin, leveraging some of her contacts with the higher echelons of society to speed her way up the ladder.

aka, the nepo baby allegations might be true! yiyang is just a hot girl here for the hot girls & boys, she can be confident to be point of being a little delusional and annoying, but she doesn't really mean ill. has a thing for adrenaline and testing the limits of what terra might allow, all within monetary reasons—and unfortunately for her, those reasons have shrunk a little as of late!

wanted connections

celebrity muses, people she loves styling and working with, and who she can show off

office/corporate rivals. one of them can't stand the other, and they're making it everyone's problem

how the mighty fall, they like seeing yiyang slog it out in re:skin or slumming it with the megabuildings when she always seemed so out of touch to them

trophy fling/fwb of the week, yiyang's the sort to shower them with gifts and attention for a moment, but it's never anything truly serious (unless…?)

any of her many exes. could have ended on good terms or they still have bad blood between them

skeptic to her believer, for all of yiyang's quips she doesn't really question terra's policies, but they do, and it's challenging what she thought

[tangentburd]

~ Oh So Fly! ~

From the rockin’ street doves to the coo-l Capuchines We’ll pick and peck apart every piece of bird-based bling Warmers, collars, capes… Gramma’s cornbread cowls? You might as well go back home with your head in a towel!

~ A nonsensical poem I wrote on pigeons and their Fabulous! Bread! Necklaces! for the recent "Toasty Mart" bread x animals zine hosted by @bycmykae. Thanks for the pun fun-filled experience!

Shoutout to @katsuayumu too for making all the super cute and delicious pigeon character art for this piece :D

🕊 [ Read the full poem on AO3 or under the cut! ]

🍞 [ Read the free zine via itch.io! ]

Greetings! Salutations! Birds of a feather! Welcome to the Bread Derby, sisters and brothers! The name’s Pasquale and I’m your host for today— Colomba of keen eye for fashions of the day ~✦

It’s party pigeon time down here in the square Where every-birdy’s decked in their fanciest neckwear Where the have-its flaunt it! And the have-nots want it! Where upper crusts and lower crumbs clash in showers of grit!

From the rockin’ street doves to the coo-l Capuchines We’ll pick and peck apart every piece of bird-based bling Warmers, collars, capes... Gramma’s cornbread cowls? You might as well go back home with your head in a towel!

We’ll see who’s the boss in their oven-baked best! And who’s burnt toast that’s only good for lining nests! Beaks up and b-ready, we’re starting the show Coo! Here’s our first lady—let’s fluffin’ go!

———

Behold! This uppity—I mean, blue-crowned royalty: The Duchess of Dovershire, come to visit from her county With her pearl-tipped crest as though dipped in icing And draped with a most exquisite braided bread ring Such graze! Delicacy! (Maybe a hint of power?) The air and flair of fresh-milled flour—

“How do you do? Your reds and greens are lovely!” Hold up, did... she just say something to me? Why yes ma’am, thank you! I adore them too! It’s just avocado bruschetta, nothing too frou-frou~ She chortles, nods; then away she struts: A portly, pleasant presence in her posh, plaited doughnut.

———

Kerfuffle from the crowds! Cue the world’s favourite Frillback: Pop idol Pae-Dae, in a cushy cape of flatbread Luscious curls of feathers bronze all across his wings A dishy dove indeed: he’s every fledgling’s prince! His shuffling feet pause, his misty eyes find mine I wonder what words might leave a beak so sublime...?

“Wish I could sleep, Mister Host, but I’ll do my best Ask me about the dramas I’ve been filming without rest Or how everyone thinks my wings are hazelnut flakes...” Sigh, a celeb’s life! You can’t ever get a break I’ll interview you next week! Now go and catch some Z’s Your tortilla blanket should be cosy—but don’t let your fans see!

———

An emerald dove patters by, sleeves shimmering green Donning the airiest, fairiest sourdough I’ve seen: Scored like a flower, flour dusted like a lace veil Aw, she’s proud of it! Look at her bobbing tail~ “My name’s Paige Pidgerton, I baked it just today I hope to open my artisan beak-ery someday!”

You’re a natural, miss, this here’s a work of art! But really, is that all you dream of deep inside your heart? She flusters, she flushes, her white headband askew The rosy eyes of a heroine’s fairytale come true! “Maybe... if I can’t bake for everyone in town Then at least for some-birdy I’m happy to be around.♥”

———

You hear them before you see them: Two lean, rugged doves Squabbling, squawking, crash-landing (on the) square from above “I told you to hurry, old man, now we’re late for the parade!” ‘Why don’t you stop by a corner shop again, you ingrate!’ Good day, gentlemen! I might have seen you somewhere, sir Aren’t you G.I. Low, that decorated war officer?

‘Some eye you’ve got, chap! Sharp as this one I’ve got left Better than my grandkid here who thinks he’s bloody EMS.’ “If this thumbdrive don’t reach later, I’ll be toast-er than my toast! Name’s Payload Swift, mister, I’m a racer turned pigeon post.”

(Aha! Do I sense a glorious generation gap? A question trap to set their wings and tempers aflap!) Living life in the fast lane? Your intake must be insane! Care to share with us your go-to holy grains?

“This grilled tuna sandwich melt from Leaven-Eleven’s Is the best thing since sliced bread—a taste made in heaven!” ‘It IS sliced bread, for heavens’ sake! See the junk this boy is eating? Not like this chipped beef on toast from back when I was serving It’s provisions! Nourishment! Blessings for the whole flock!’ “Yeah sure, if only you can eat it without a fork...”

———

A zig-zagging, a tango-ing, a high bird-song and dance A kererū, post-dine-and-wine, down on the bench in a trance That passé office plumage versus bland-as-heck handbag— Lady, your tastebuds are wrecked! And that fruit loaf’s a big red flag!

She waves her bottle—budget Pigeot Noir!—before my eyes “I’ve seen your shows on CooTube, you’re that real fly guy! That Nicobar fella who’s gone way up the pecking order...” Lady, your tastebuds are just fine! Ignore what I said earlier—

“Can you tell me how you’ve been eating every-birdy��s lunch? You’re now rolling in dough, but I’m just rolling off the branch... How can a common quill-pusher like me, Karolie Flee Fly to the top, eat all I want, and still be this carefree?”

Oh Miss Flee, let’s first put my inspiring haute coo-ture aside No matter what you’re doing, you should do it with pride! Push all the quills (and your bosses’ too) until you’re seen and heard But remember: there’s more to you than just this corporate bird!

Sure, your whites, greens and purples may not be the hottest stuff But if you’re a better you than yesterday then that’s good enough~★ That said, please just toss that brick of cursed candied fruit Get a loaf that tastes more chic! With marmalade to boot!

———

So there we go, folks—our roundup of this Derby: A true-blue cross-section of our bling-based society I’ve seen a future star baker, courier, wine connoisseur Stay inspiring, inspired and well rested, you youngsters!

Boast your bread-lace loud and proud, bake it till you make it The true slice-of-life is how you wear it and what you make of it! And to every-birdy else who’s stayed with us throughout— Beak thanks to you all! This is Col. Pasquale, signing out~♫

~ end ~

[houdinicarpenter]

SECRET SOCIETY

a poem by HoudiniCarpenter (BWS) GIF is not mine

You wanna be a part of this? A practice of cruel and unusual sadistic bliss? It’s a one-of-a-kind secret society With one hell of a muse that can’t hold sobriety She’s a half-blooded wolf, you see One that’s spent too long being free And with that privilege, comes a price Which all of them gladly get to entertain thrice It starts with them all in a line Watching the restrain of this wolf is divine So much in-love, but still can’t trust That beautiful predator with impeccable lust The wolf is a well-known favorite They’re a diverse symbol, who could hate it? But she’s designed to rule her own throne An animal with a mind of its own A beast so majestic with irresistible fur They must touch it, careless to gain consent from her She’s tough, and cool, and shows no fear Though she knows what’s coming when they grow near Unpredictable, at best, you could easily guess Which is why they must avoid possible mess Patience is key, for the line moves slow Can’t rush art, don’t you know? There’s a part to play in this deadly dance Touching this animal is a longing chance They slip on their gloves and oil them up Time to get the best of this charismatic pup One by one, they take their time If you didn’t know better, you’d say it’s a crime The caged wolf thought never to be tame Can become the prey in this sadistic game One side will say it's all in harmless fun The other will argue the survival need to run They pet, and stroke, and tease, and watch Until the next in line decides to take it up a notch The wolf whines, and growls, and paws with plead But it’s a mindless act of instinctual need Her ears are back and her teeth are bared But the pleasure of control is selfishly compared From the sidelines, the rest observe They know not what they do with this kind of nerve They’re playing with fire, it’s safe to say Because they forget who she is on any other day This muse is killer, born and raised She’s smart as a whip, though named crazed She’s known for blood on her teeth and a strong bite And when the moon is full, she owns the night But here in captivity, tied and used That old flame remains to be fused She’s still the same wolf in her beating heart No matter how many people await to tear her apart She’ll take it all, the feelings and shame Because once it’s over, she won’t be to blame Vengeance is a close ally in her blood And she intends to savor it in a fashionable flood You can have your fun, but once it’s done There’s no telling when you’ll lose the gun The society’s quick, but she’s quicker Their oil is thick but their blood is thicker Her temper’s hot but her eyes are cold It’ll be her time to play, truth be told She’ll do what she does best and take the lead She won’t waste a moment, no lines or greed But for now, she waits, endures, and cries Until there’s a slip, until her tolerance dies She was the only favorite, so they’re all the same They all stood in line to dirty her name They made the rules and did their worst Making it seem like she always came first But that wasn’t practical and it isn’t true And they’ll find that out when all is through One day, this condoned society will become a remarkable tale All about a she-wolf who wore social suicide like a fucking veil It’ll go down as a legend, dare I state But by then, it’ll surely be too late But don’t worry, I won’t tell If you want to confide in such a tempting spell Just remember that recklessness can be a sin So, what do you say? You still want in?