#or maybe thats dumb asf LMAO

[star-fandoms]

The demons took hold of me again

The "demons" being Sally Face... SIGH!! I was OBSESSED with this game in late middle school early high school, and now I'm back baby. Crazy what seeing fanart will do. ANYWAYS!! time to introduce my babeyyyyy

Here are "refs" cause i know these don't exactly count, but eh, i dont like drawing feet/shoes! ANYWAYS!! Slight Sal redesign, I'll probably end up putting him in whatever emo ass fit honestly. Anyways I love cute fashion sooooo obvs had to make my girl cute asf. It's kind of a gap moe moment with her cause my girl has seen the horrors(like literally ANY other of my ocs honestly)

QUICK NOTE ON SAL'S REDESIGN!! The original design is fine, I'm not "fixing" the design or anything, it was simply for fun, I wanted to see him in more emo fashion and thought it fit and looked good! The necklace he's wearing is actually a locket! I can see him having a little picture of all his friends close to his heart(SOBBING ONE SEC) I might also put Sal in gothic and scene outfits eventually as well, I actually thought about giving him scene coontails on the two little front sections!

TRANSCRIPT

Not a super organized outfit, but they don't care, they like their outfit

Emo ass outfits

Prob graphic design tee, I just didn't want to draw it.

Literally will never grow again, wears platforms tho(Note: With platforms on, she's 5'3)

More organized fashion, honestly wears a lot of different styles(Note: usually seen in cute, comfy clothes, but also can wear emo outfits, clowncore, really anything honestly, she likes a lot of different styles!)

Her name is Jellie, not really, but she doesn't really remember her name. The gang picked it out for her(in which they simply asked her what she likes and she said "jellyfish" and they went "okay, Jellie for short" and she's sported the name since) She doesn't live in Addison apartments, but she lives close by enough to walk and occasionally would sleep in Larry's treehouse when she got kicked out(which eventually they offer her a place to stay when that happens)

She's known of Sal since the first day of school for him after moving, and the rest of the cast(Larry, Todd, Ashley, and Travis(and some other Sally Face oc's of mine that are still in the works)) for even longer, however she never had the courage to really talk to them. She doesn't know how to make friends or talk to people and instantly assumes that she'll just be a burden and annoy them and that they'll all hate her. She's also a stickler for rules and is horrified of being late or doing anything to get in trouble, she states that "she'll never get to college and that the teachers will tell her to kill herself" if she's late for even a minute. She's usually pretty stoic or straight up freaking out and muttering self deprecating thoughts.

TW: SELF HARM SCARS!! (not realistic)GORE!!

HERES SOME EXTRA INFO ABOUT JELLIE!!(based off of the doodles)

She cuts, a LOT!! She literally hates herself so much and does a lot of harmful things to her body. She just goes in when she cuts, she doesn't think about placement or how deep she goes, as long as she bleeds and feels pain(please don't cut and get help in you can if you struggle with suicidal thoughts)

She really REALLY like horror and doesn't react much when she watches scary stuff. Not that it existed at the time, but she could handle those 50/50 challenges EASILY!! Girl watches a lot of true crime and goes digging for shit, she straight up just looks up images of dead people(she realizes how fucked up this is in the future)

Literally awful at smiling, you can TELL she has not smiled in a bit. She could be genuinely happy and still would not be able to smile normally. It also hurts her because she doesn't use her face muscles often(hardly spoke for years, only eats dinner, doesn't smile) It is something that gets better in the future, but the cries whenever she laughs!

The way she stares at people creeps them out, she's often bullied for it(amongst a shit ton of other things) She does NOT realize she does this or that it's creepy, she continues to do this even in the future LOL!! Also she's not mad, this is just how she stares at people

If she gets forced to live another life, she wants to be reborn as a Jellyfish. She really, REALLY loves the ocean and aquatic animals!

She has hallucinations and visions(like how Sal has visions) however, she cannot tell the difference between the two. It's easy to tell from an outside perspective when she has visions though because she gets nosebleeds every time and occasionally passes out(the passing out gets worse the older she gets and the more frequent the visions become) She refuses to tell her friends though because she's so happy she finally has friends and is worried that they will be weirded out by them

Finally! Just some art i did of 16 year old Sal and Jellie, it took forever and my hand and wrist are sore(i've just been drawing and writing nonstop for the past week anyways so oh well LOL, the carpal tunnel bouta go CRAZY! Cant wait to get another ganglion cyst) but it was worth it, they are worth it. Anyways! The scenario was that Jellie was hiding from her bullies(idk some random ass background ocs i made for SF) however Sal wasn't expecting Jellie to hide behind him, much less wrap her arms around him. Erm ^^ they cute or whatever

[sukunasweetheart]

yall im just thinkin abt sukuna with a y/n whos just dumb asf, out doing stupid ass things for no reason; mans is highkey a tsundere im not gonna lie, cuz he could just leave u to die but always comes running whenever youre in trouble like-🏃 i have no idea what kind of au this is but take it or leave it ig (i imagine og form sukuna with this tho)

maybe he finds your absolute lack of brain cells amusing sometimes

watching as u get caught into an obvious trap thats been laid somewhere, wondering what it is that makes him wound up keeping u by his side every time 💀

youre so vulnerable, he doesnt know what to do with u

he’s always like “im not gonna bother 💢” and then proceeds to watch out for u through the corner of his eye

Sukuna: don’t eat anything around here, it’s poisonous.

y/n, who’s already taken a bite out of something: what

cue sukuna angrily healing u as ur foaming at the mouth

when u argue that you’ll be fine by yourself, sukuna tells you “fine, die then” but whenever youre actually almost dead hes clicking his tongue irritably and healing u

“don’t die without my permission”

help this man would lowkey panic when youre taking a hot second to heal up thooo 😭

“oi, wake tf up” when ur still unconscious and not breathing - he’s shaking u carelessly with one hand like ur some t0y

after its been a minute and u still show no signs of life, is when he starts to get a bit worried, eyes widening

his softness comes out and maybe he’s caressing ur cheek hesitantly

not him acting all nonchalant when u actually do eventually come to, tho

he pinches ur cheek this time and is all “finally, took you long enough” even tho hes still a bit shaken up inside

JUST ADMIT THAT U LOVE THEM ALREADY, smh

he's not gonna let you out of his sight afterwards

everytime u wanna wander off, hes gonna pull u back by the collar like a little kitten and be like "where do you think youre going"

not u running in the air as hes lifted u up like: 🏃‍♀️ LMAO

orrr hes always carrying you over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes

u flail around but he orders u to stay still so ur like 😑 yessir

also the type to only show affection when ur deep asleep, thumb going over ur lips, brushing back ur hair (maybe a forehead kiss or two would be nice)

additionally, a common interaction between the two

y/n: *does/says something buttfuck stupid*

sukuna: 🤦‍♂️

gratitude to my dear bestie who contributed to this brainrot: @cattyclysm

Masterlist

[suna-is-the-loml]

two days

pairing: tsukkishima x reader

genre: slight fluff then slight angsty???

word count: 1.3k LOL

a/n:  i am in love with salty frenchfry and this is cringe station so enjoy this really badly written fluff +angst or something bye <3

yes i love the number 3

3 years, 3 whole years kei spent loving you, yet his dumbass still hadnt confessed till today, today of all days,that is 3 days before you were leaving.

he was hurt, he wanted to tell you he loves you, he couldnt muster the courage to do so. quite ironic for someone who is salty asf LMAO, he always had a soft spot for you, he knew you were someone important to him, he just couldnt figure out how.

he thought he knew you so well, or so he thought.

he didnt know you were in too deep for him too, he didnt know youd take a bullet for him, he didnt know you got jealous everytime some other girl flirts with him, he didnt know how much you defended him, he didnt know you rejected the confessions for kei. (kei being the dumbass thought you rejected the confessions because you wanted to concentrate on your sport). 

he wonders how many minutes he spent adoring you, how many seconds he spent loving you because how much ever that was, he knew it wasnt enough. he loves you. a lot. and you deserve all the love

he wanted to tell you.

you are vvsmart but dumb enough to not realise your best friend was in love with you big time. you knew your goodbye party will involve alcohol sO you had it 3 days before you left because you hated hangovers.

you wanted to confess to kei. whats the probability that he would like you back?, the worse thing he could say was “i never want to see you again’’ which works because you were leaving japan anyway.

the day after the party- today seems good, its perfect actually, you message him

“hey, wanna come over? :D”

kei looks at his phone, as your name popped up in his notifications he felt himself smile.

sure :)

kei knew he had to say it today, its either today or never

you took a deep breath. ‘tell him today’ you told yourself.

it was around 7pm when he finNALLY came over. kei had your favourite chips packet with him. smiling at him fondly you invited him to your room. it was natural. everything felt home with kei.

you wanted to confess but you wanted to see how he feels about you first- atleast maybe an idea.

“hey kei, guess what?”

he looked at you with a twinkle, he smirked as he looked into your eyes.

“i am in love with someone”

‘huh? what? love? does she like no ‘love’ someone ? oh, not me thats for sure’ kei’s mind ran spewing thoughts. he was not able to say anything. he was surprised. no surprised was an understatemeant. he was seething with jealousy, pity, sadness, betrayal, he could feel his heart break into two. he kept a stoic face and whispered ‘‘oh?’’ with his eyes no longer being in contact with yours.

you smiled, you knew, you knew what he was feeling, afterall you have felt the same so many times whenever someone flirts with him. you knew he liked you but you wanted him to confirm it. you whispered “kei? is everything okay?”

kei finally looked at you again, “y/n”

“i love you” kei finally said. he closed his eyes and turned away from you, he was scared to see our expression.

“aww kei, i love you too” you said as you reached out to hold his hand. he immediately took it and squeezed it. 

he looked at you again with the same fond expression “ no dummy i love you in a romantic way, i am in love with you”

you looked at him with a dumbfounded expression “ kei i am in love with you too, in a romantic way”

he felt his adrenaline pushing himself towards you, as if on instinct he cupped your cheeks and kissed you. he kissed you softly hoping the kiss would convey how much he loves you.

he whispers against your lips “you have no idea how much ive wanted to do this dummy”

“kei, i’m gonna leave in 2 days” you remind him after a steamy makeout session

his face immediately falls

“what are we kei”

“i dont know best friends to lovers trope?” he said hoping to avoid that topic. the fact that you, his love is finally with him and that you will be leaving you in two days.

you laughed and then pulled a serious expression “ kei tsukishima, what are we” you asked squeezing his hand.

“hmm, lemme think about it” kei taunts you, you pulled out your best puppy dog eyes and pouted at him and he had the audacity to smirk at you. you turned away from him and stared at the corner because suddenly?? it?? seemed?? interesting??

you felt yourself pulled to his lap. he looked at you, his eyes filled with love he whispered “ y/n i love you a lot but i-” you interrupted him with a kiss, “i know kei, its gonna be hard but can we fall in love for the night atleast?’’

“yes y/n we can” he said lovingly.

its been exactly 16 months since you’ve left. 16 months since the magical day- the day he kissed you for the first time,the day he confessed to you, he remembers every minute of those two days.

he sighed and plopped on his headphones.

now playing- lets fall in love for the night by finneas

Let's fall in love for the night And forget in the morning Play me a song that you like You can bet I'll know every line

he remembers how you both fell more in love the last two days. he remembers the day you shared the playlist you made, mainly consisting of finneas’s songs. he saw how happy you were when you listened to your playlist commenting on how its a masterpiece. he remembers the day he realised he was in love with you. he remembers your ‘jamming’ sessions as you both sang your hearts out.

he closed his eyes as he remembered the day your first boyfriend kissed you, how he was seeping with jealousy, how he badly wanted to be your first kiss. it was then he realised he loved you. revisiting his memories with you always calmed him down, you stole his heart afterall.

keeping in touch with you has been a little difficult considering college and the different time zones, yet you both tried to keep in contact with each other

I'm the boy that your boy hoped that you would avoid Don't waste your eyes on jealous guys, fuck that noise I know better than to call you mine

he remembered how your first boyfriend tried to stop meeting him and how your ex sometimes crashed you both hanging out together at your place. kei knew that your ex was jealous, yet you stuck by him considering that was your first relationship. after you broke up, you were sad and he was there to comfort you. he was always there for you.

he knew what was the best for you, but he also knew that you werent his. he couldnt stop you from dating who you want.

You need a pick me up I'll be there in twenty five I like to push my luck So take my hand, let's take a drive

he remembers the late night calls and how he would show up at your door exactly in 27 minutes when you call him over. he remembers how you used to persuade your parents so he can stay over for the night, he remembers how you used to cringe at the cheesy romcom scenes, he remembers how you fell asleep on him,he remembers how happy you were when you finally got your favourite college acception letter. he remembers how happy you were when karasuno reached nationals. he misses you a lot.

I've been living in the future Hoping I might see you sooner I want you riding shotgun I knew When I got one right

he was so happy found out he was significant in your life. he imagines a life with you by his side, he imagines smaller versions of you both running in the house. he knew it was going to be tough, so after around 7 months, he ghosted you for a whole month. you were hEARTBROKEN. did you go wrong somewhere? does he not love you anymore? overwhelmed with anger and heartbreak you ghosted him back. but he didnt even try to hold a conversation with you, he didnt ask any questions, he didnt call you too. was he done with you? was this it? you were done, done being heartbroken and done waiting.

but ghosting you just made him miss you more. was it a bad idea? he wanted to hear your voice so bad but he knew it will just make him miss you more, instead he started to concentrate completely on college and tried to remove you from his mind, he tried removing you from his life, but he couldnt, not a single minute goes by without him remembering the little things about you. he knew he was gone from your life when you ghosted him back. 

 he wants you, he wonders if you feel the same way he does. have you moved on?have you found someone else? did you fall out of love with him? 

he wanted to move on but he was hopeless, hopelessly in love with you,

how he wished he could relive those two days forever

a/n again?: JSJSJSJSJS THIS became longer than i expected?? the second slight angsty part was heavily inspired by let's fall in love for the night by FINNEAS ahh i love his songs sm  

[sarohara]

You both like friends.

You: heyo

Stranger: hey

You: wanna hear a really cool song?

Stranger: sure

You: hold up

You: name or link?

Stranger: name

You: okay

You: young the giant mind over matter

Stranger: okay hold up

You: take your time

Stranger: Damm he is getting into it

You: Yea right? ahah

Stranger: Yeah lmao

Stranger: lmk im prolly gonna regret this but let me use my best pick up line on you😂

Stranger: lmao

You: Go ahead 😂

Stranger: nah nvm I'm bouta say some dumb shit

You: I don't mind 😂

Stranger: wtf nah that shit is cheesy asf

Stranger: like cheesy cheesy

You: Cmon

You: I mean, it's up to u

Stranger: fuck im really gonna regret this alot

Stranger: okay okay game face on

You: 😂

You: you don't even know me, why would u regret it? ahahah

Stranger: Damm you remind me of the 20 letters of the alphabet

Stranger: bc it me I regret alot of things and now I'm regretting this shit rn

Stranger: fuck why do I gotta be so dumb

You: 20 letters of the alphabet? why?😂

Stranger: oh shit I'm dumb there's 26 letters how can I forget about u,r,a,q,t

You: AHAHAHAHAH

Stranger: See that shit is cheesy

You: I was gonna ask "what about the other 6?"

Stranger: Lmao found the other 6

Stranger: wait there is 27 u can get the d later😂😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Stranger: okay imma prolly go kill myself now

You: that's it? 😂😂😂😂

Stranger: I'm so so sorry u have to hear my dumbass

You: AHAHAHAHAHAH

You: You're freaking hilarious

Stranger: I hate my self now

Stranger: I'm so cheesy wtf

You: AHAHAHA

You: Stooop

Stranger: I'm never listening to tik tok ever again😂😭

You: AHAHAHA TIK TOK REALLY? 😂

You: I'm dying

Stranger: Okay no what I'm boerd and that app is okay

Stranger: and no o don't post i just scroll through

Stranger: i

You: Yea dw, I do the same😂

Stranger: Lmao im still so sorry u had to hear that

Stranger: Yo boi is running on like 2 brain cells rn

You: hey, shut up, it was cool 😂 I mean, you're funny

You: ahahahahahhaha

Stranger: funny who tf is funny everyone keeps on talking about funny but I still don't know who that mf is

Stranger: I wanna meet that dude he is obviously famous

Stranger: or her I don't really know yet

You: Who's obviously famous?

Stranger: that guy named funny

You: and well, it's funny just because it's not funny

You: AHAHHAHAHA OH MY GAWD

Stranger: yk its funny bc im dumb

Stranger: told you those 2 brain cells are kicking in

You: well, at least that made me laugh so..

Stranger: Fuck yeahhhhhhh

Stranger: look mom i did something finally

You: AHAHHAHAHA

Stranger: oh wait she is gone

You: Would she be proud?

You: ooooh

Stranger: She went to the grocery store 2 hours ago

Stranger: so we will find out when she gets back

Stranger: she will prolly still hate me but yk what thays cool

Stranger: thats

You: what mother doesn't hate her kid, right?

You: you're not alone trust me ahahaha

Stranger: Haha facts tho

You: what's ur name btw? lmao

Stranger: yk she told me that I was a mistake and yk what I'm not I won that race me I won

Stranger: all those other kids aren't here are they they are the mistakes

You: Wait, seriously?

You: I was kidding but maybe i was a mistake as well

Stranger: yes I won something and ik thats hard to belive but I did I did not get a trophy when I should have

You: ahahahhahahahahahah You won that race, you did it!

Stranger: wait they did give me trophy

You: I don't think so

Stranger: ur my trophy so I can finally show my trophy off okay that was bad I promise that was the last one

Stranger: Omg I'm going to hell

Stranger: why do I think of this shit

You: I wasn't expecting but 😂😂😂😂

Stranger: that sounded so much better in my head then I typed it out I was like wtf are you doing like are you fr fr bouta send that

You: You're fine 😂😂

Stranger: Okay I give you promise to shoot me if you would like

Stranger: I get i totally get it

Stranger: promision holly fuck my phone won't let me type

Stranger: Your like wtf he is dumb he obviously did not pass the second grade

Stranger: well jokes on you I am in the second grade

You: I'm dying actually, you're stupidly funny😂😂😂😂

You: Are u always like that?

Stranger: sadly yes do I want to be no

Stranger: God was like lets make this kid dumb asf and say cheesy things to ppl

Stranger: and I'm good at it

You: at least you're good at something, isn't awesome?😂😂😂

Stranger: obviously did you not read my pickup line like bro master piece

You: you know, you seem like that kinda person who gets embarrassed easily 😂

Stranger: Like God told me to use that pickup line on everyone so i did the only person that did not seem to care or even talk to me was the light poll outside my house

Stranger: Idk imma get it to talk to me one day

You: the light poll outside your house 😂

Stranger: yeah

Stranger: I've been trying for years can't seem to crack it yet

Stranger: I'm telling u one day its going to talk to me

You: I don't think u should do this but if u need me i'm down😂

Stranger: for what

Stranger: I should not do what

Stranger: oh shit

You: hey hey hey liste

You: listen*

Stranger: Okay im listening

Stranger: all I hear is music omg are u connect to my speaker

Stranger: Connected

You: ok so my family's calling me to lunch...i really gotta go, but can u keep in touch?

You: AHAHHAHAHA

Stranger: yes

You: yes?

Stranger: yes

You: yes!

You: what do u have?

You: idk even ur name

You: i'm sarah by the way

Stranger: Um Noah and snapchat insta Facebook venmo

Stranger: PayPal

Stranger: uber eats

Stranger: Yeah

You: ahahahhahaahahah

Stranger: I can text you on any of those

You: oh uber eats? really? i didn't now that

Stranger: yeah im ceo so I get all the secret stuff

You: ooooh you're ceo damn

You: anyway 😂

You: I do have insta & snap so..

Stranger: yeah did you know u can order food on there

Stranger: Lets do snapchat

You: yeah ofc i know that

You: ahahahhahaha

Stranger: oh you did

You: okay so it's scarval

You: ooops

You: scarvalhando

You: ***

Stranger: Boom added off uber eats

You: can we order food someday?

You: it would be awesome

Stranger: yes

You: okay noah

You: what's ur insta btw? i could follow u there as well

Stranger: I forgot I told u my name i was like omg I told a hacker my cheesy pick up line

Stranger: I'm fucked

You: 😂😂😂😂😂

You: Yeah omg i'm a hacker

You: I wish i were tho

Stranger: Oh shit please don't go through my history unless u want to see alot of cars like alot alot of cars

Stranger: And when u scroll down far enough you will see how to talk to a light poll

You: obsession with cars?😂😂

You: ooooh yeah okay

You: it seems nice, i mean, talking to a light poll, isn't?

Stranger: um a little😅

Stranger: idk it has not talked back yet

Stranger: I think its shy

You: oof that hurts 😂

You: okay okay okay

Stranger: I don't know find out on next weeks episode of dose it talk

You: 😂😂😂😂😂

Stranger: featuring little turtule and big fish rick

You: I'm gonna watch this

You: 😂

You: see ya on snap then?

Stranger: its gonna be lit and okay

You: i gotta gotta gotta gotta go

Stranger: by Sarah thank you for letting me use my cheesy pick up line on you

Stranger: bye

You: Anytime!!! 😂

Stranger: and u will hear more from my dumbass

Stranger: oh and ill lyk what my mom thinks

You: I hope 😂

You: okay i'll be waiting

You: Cya

Stranger: Okay byeeee

You: byeee

You: skip

[dolphin-enthusiast]

good evening darling, i saw an asked you answered regarding hate against us, and of course, i know i should address it,, i am so incredibly, deeply sorry that i attracted such trouble here, i never meant to and honestly, i feel guilty about it. you are such an amazing person and you don't deserve to have this stuff enter your inbox,, as much as i love this wonderful experience, i can't help but feel like these sort of negative blow-ups are my fault, and for that, i apologize (1/?)

"if i were being completely honest, writing these letters for your inbox everyday has changed my life currently in the best way possible,, i've struggled with severe mental health problems for almost my entire life, and when my sister first introduced me to your blog, it made me so so happy. after months of her sending me your posts, and seeing all of these special reoccuring-anons appear, i wanted to interact and maybe brighten up your day (2/?)

i never expected it to get this far, and i would be lying if i said i don't enjoy it. most people here have received me so positively, which is a refreshing escape from real life. it makes me so happy to know that my dumb little letters make so many people smile! and honestly, as scary as this is for me to confess, i realize that i really wouldn't mind being a friend of yours!! (if you want one, of course) (3/?)

it saddens me to see these kind of things, but if there is one thing i've learned in life, it's that the world isn't that kind, which is exactly why i want to be the kind person others need. and before any of you other people start to worry, please don't. i am so used to negative comments in my life, that i'm accustomed to it. i hate to see you all fret!! as much as i enjoy being here, i understand if you need me to leave, that's up to you (4/?)

finally, to everyone who hasn't heard it today/needs to hear it: i love you so much, you are valid and this world needs your presence even if it doesn't feel like it 💕💕 -love always, waifu-anon xoxo 💖 ps: i saw you answering requests today and i'm proud of you,, i know what burn out feels like, but you're doing amazing caro 💓 (5/5)"

Ok so before i acc reply @ everyone in my inbox rn thats been supportive asf thank u for all of ur kind words and dw i did dm waifu, reassured her and we even exchanged discords (yes u read that right it is h a p p e n i n g)

Now u should begin by (once again) saying that none of this is ur fault at all... theres always going to be clowns honking their noses left and right no matter where u go to and as for getting used to negative comments you really shouldnt (although i myself am also used to them and i literally dont care anymore lmao) but still u dont deserve any of these when ur just minding ur own business and being a decent kind fuckin person

Im really glad ur letters and my overall blog managed to cheer u up (bc i can only say the same, at the end of the day when i receive ur confessions it always manages to lift my spirits up even if i was in a sour mood beforehand). Its extremely nice of you to want to be the kind of person others need and thats pretty much self explanatory and why all of these anons i received previously are the entire mcfuckin carnival 🤡🔪

Tl;dr: never blame urself for other ppl being assholes and keep sending wholesome confessions everyday bc we all love it and stan u queen😤👌 (also thank u thank u burn out sure is one hell of a 🅱️ i t c h)

[badanimereviews]

finishin’ up fall 2019 anime

ahahaha it’s almost here. new year. new anime. 

let’s look at some of the best and worst from this season. well, everything i watched actually....

dr stone: if anything deserves 10/10 it’s this bitch. my inner chemistry slut has risen from the grave. this is my lifeblood. it is so good. nearing ep 17 i started reading the manga because i NEEDED more. and i haven’t read manga in like three years. i cried then at that bitchass byakuya, and dr stone’s last ep made me cry again. i’m talking more tears than the Niagara falls........ and then cried again when the second season was announced. like. if there wasn’t one i might have just gone up in flames then and there

bnha 4: i feel it’s a little more lacking then s2 or s3, maybe in action or smth but idek. i like the bit more insight and development the world is getting. also i love eri, and fat is hot (when he aint fat), also that over..load? guy is hella bae. also nighteye is actually rly cool and pls dont kill all might thats rude. also why the sudden interest in red riot like tbh i don’t rly care bout him. i want kirishima or todoroki or w/e bc they’re hot and redboy isn’t sorry. his powers suck anyhow

sao alicization 2: i think it started out better than the first season did. i needed these flashes into reality that helps show more realism, rather than just ‘ooh haha fantasy sword magic stuff’. which honestly took away from what should be a fairly severe situation. yknow. so far animation’s been steady, tho the new op is meh compared to the last ones. im not a huuge alice stan but the alice vs asuna vs the other girls is not fun, i mean it’s all asuna’s fault she could be like ‘ya i married him, dumb fucks back off’ and that’d be that but nooo it’s her fault. isn’t she dating kirito? and just letting these strange girls do this stuff to him? bruh

enen no shouboutai: very good. also 10/10. though not as 10 as dr stone. maybe more like 9/10. animation kinda decreased in quality a lil. understandably hah. warming up to the new op, i like the bit where shinra/arthur kinda fighting w each other their friendship is goals. i like all the powers. also shou is a baby boy

shinchou yuusha: the last ep twist got me fucked up. no spoilers tho. i loved all the characters, ristarte was awesome, her expressions killed me sometimes like same girl same. yuusha-san was a little bland but that might’ve been on purpose lmao now that i think of it (last minute thought: ristarte sounds oddly like... restart, don’t it? ;)))))

shokugeki no souma 4: another epic season kakakakaka. they always end on a cliffhanger and i’m like FUCk the episode’s over already when did that happen>???????>?>?> we STAN souma x erina guys. her father is an absolute DICK. and i am so glad she fuckin showed him. you go erina. get that character development. 

assassins’ pride: love me them character designs. and that op is to die for. i got the last ep to watch still. i’ve definitely warmed up to melida. and that navy-hair girl with the weird name is a goddess lmao we STAN a QUEEN. oh ya her name’s mule. dear author what made you choose that

choyoyu: i feel like a lot of the seven were glazed over, just kinda ‘oh aoi can chop stuff, merchant-san is .... a merchant that one time.... keine can heal people ..... and makes medecin worse than dr stone (btw i screamed at that like BRUH YOU FUCKIN COPIED OFF SENKU’S TEST WTF) tsukasa is way boring, akatsuki is meh and does not provide any explanation for how he pull off that magic shit without modern tech shit. ringo is cute and i want more of her actually showing why she’s smart and like... explaining it rather just ‘o she invents stuff yay’. shinobu needs to be the main-er character bc i love her god

azur lane: livechart.me says. ep 11 in 77 days. hello? where’s my jean bart?

kabukichou sherlock: ok i wasn expecting that at all. until they started insinuating how glasses dude was ‘jack’. bruh maki scary asf. did not give me good vibes ;-; also moriarty is a lil babby boy and i honest to god thought if he wasn’t jack then he was some mastermind bad guy at least bc i read sherlock holmes and we all know that bitch is a bad boy. but no now he’s a good boy and hella cute. also yes irene and sherlock dynamic kills me what a LAD 

chuubyou gekihatsu boy: shit i forgot to add this quick edit .... yes this is so cute and good and all them boys are so loveable omllllll my weeb heart

[29anima-blog]

Best. Convo. Ever.

3:27AM    4/03/19

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You both like sad.

Stranger: Hello

You: hello

You: hows it going fellow sad human :)

You: :(*

Stranger: Not actually a human

You: :O same here

Stranger: It's going alright, not really that good

Stranger: How about you

You: mehh could be better

Stranger: I feel that

You: anything particular or is it just life lol?

Stranger: Yeah, just need some inspiration to get me going again

You: aha i getchu

Stranger: How are things on your end? What can make your life better

You: ahh thats a big question

You: lets just say im quite an overthinker

Stranger: I know the feeling

You: So I worry too much about what I want to die with my life etc

You: but im going through a "not giving a shit phase" atm lol

Stranger: Yeah, that's a big thing for a lot of people

Stranger: I'm sure you'll find something you'll enjoy

Stranger: Umm are you in any programs? Like that the school offers

Stranger: Maybe you'll find something you enjoy there

Stranger: Its always good to have hobbies

You: hmm not really im quite an antisocial person so i hadnt considered it

You: i do music on the side for fun

You: but its quite pricey hahah

Stranger: Yeah

Stranger: Hobbies can definitely be expensive

You: yeah im currently saving up for some equipment so

Stranger: That's nice, goals yass

You: well what do you like to do for fun?

Stranger: ATM I'm into gaming

You: oo me too

You: although i havnt played games for a while

Stranger: Ahh

Stranger: I play shooters mostly

Stranger: I do enjoy other games occasionally

You: yaas pc or a console?

Stranger: Mostly console

Stranger: A little pc here and there

You: ahh i see

Stranger: Yep

Stranger: I'm just in love with edits in videos I want to be more involved with the community but like you I am also sort of antisocial at times

You: Ahhhh

You: you do edits?

Stranger: A little but I'm really not good

You: ah i doubt that

You: what types of edits

You: i wish i was good at video editing haha

Stranger: ATM kinda like a montage

You: ah thats cool

Stranger: I love the community but I'm just so scared of it tbh

You: ah i feels

Stranger: I've never really had anxiety and stuff, but I understand now

Stranger: There's a few people in the community I have a real hard time talking to

Stranger: Like my heart is bumpin' super fast and sometimes I get a sinking feeling

Stranger: Do you have any solutions?

You: aw one of my best friends is like that

You: hmm

You: well recently she's been forcing herself into social situations

You: umm

You: i would start small maybe just talk to a stranger on the bus or something

Stranger: I hate lfgs but it'll probably help

You: ahh understandable

Stranger: I suck online, in person I'm alright

Stranger: Idk why that is

You: i dont really like social situations but it doesnt make me too nervous

You: ahh really?its the opposite for me hahah

You: in person im awkward asf

Stranger: I can be too, but it's usually when I want people to stop talking to me

You: aha

Stranger: I'm not really one to tell someone to go away or shut up

You: For me it would take a while for me to be myself around you if id just met you

You: like id have to chill with you for a long time

You: yeahh me too tbh

Stranger: Yeah, I feel that

You: i get especially awkward if i like someone and im talking to them lmfao

Stranger: Oh lmao

You: thats the only time ill really be nervous

Stranger: Last time I was like that was middle school haha

You: ahh hahah

You: wait how old is middle school lol

Stranger: Do you play any sports or something?

You: we dont use those terms in the UK lol

You: yeahh basketball and I go to the gym a lot

Stranger: Umm like 12, 13, 14

You: ahh so how old are you now?

You: and are you into sports?

Stranger: 19 :/

Stranger: Yeah, wrestling

You: ahh 16 here

Stranger: Oh boy

You: Oo thats awesome

Stranger: Yeah it was fun

Stranger: Especially if you're good

You: i took up kick boxing recently

Stranger: Because then you can use it as like a line

You: i enjoy it way more than karate

You: ahh right

Stranger: Talking to a girl or something, be like aye come watch my matches

Stranger: Don't recommend sitting with them until after you shower tho

You: hahaha

You: ah well I am a girl so don't think i'd be doing that lol

Stranger: Idk some of the girls out here are spitting game

Stranger: Like when I was in school they were smooth af

You: lmaoo

You: id have to be extremely comfortable around someone to have game lol

Stranger: I'm just saying it's just natural for some

You: yeah ive seen

Stranger: One of my best friends, she had a guy miss his stop and go to her house I was like woah

You: god damn lol

Stranger: They ended up dating for two years

You: wow

Stranger: Yeah man, some people out here are experts, I've only been in a handful of relationships

Stranger: So I'm not the best when it comes to keeping people around

You: ahh i get youu

Stranger: Yeah, a lot of my relationships ended pretty bad

Stranger: How about you?

You: How old were you when u had your first serious relationship

You: aw damn that sucks

Stranger: Like 13

You: aha 14 here

Stranger: Wait what do you mean by serious?

You: when I had my first boyfriend

Stranger: Like sexual stuff or like

You: no just like

You: i dont even know what i meant tbh

Stranger: Yeah then, 13

You: rightt

Stranger: We we're together for a while going to each other houses to hang out and stuff

Stranger: I loved her family

Stranger: Super friendly

Stranger: We just drifted apart and I kinda was mean

Stranger: How did yours go?

You: ah suckss

You: well uh it was great at first

You: i was 14 he was 15

Stranger: Ooo

You: like we had a lot in common and many mutual friends

You: we were together for about a year

You: thinks just got ugly the last few months like he was really aggressive

You: and then yeahh that was that

Stranger: Like how?

Stranger: Idk I was just giving her the cold shoulder without even realizing it

You: at first he would just lose his temper and throw shit around or punch something

You: but then he hit me one time in front of all of my friends

Stranger: Yeah, that's a no no

You: and I was actually willing to forgive him but my friends didn't let me to

You: and im glad they didnt

Stranger: That's good

You: i was quite naive then but

You: nah lol

Stranger: I meant like them not letting you forgive him ahha

You: yeahh I know :p

You: were you in love with her

You: the girl you grew apart form

Stranger: Umm sort of

Stranger: Hard to explain

You: yeah love is a tricky word

Stranger: I tend to use it in the wrong sense

Stranger: Idk, she was really cool, we didn't really share many things but she was understanding

Stranger: Because we were completely different people

You: ahh

Stranger: At the end of the day, she had both her parents her whole life and was sheltered, I didn't so I knew way more than her in that sense

You: ahh :( must of been hard

Stranger: Eh, I had my uncles to keep me in check

Stranger: And even tho my dad wasn't there a lot to help me, he still showed me a lot of things

Stranger: Like never lay a hand on a woman, and look out for others

You: ah i see

Stranger: I'm the second oldest

Stranger: 2 brothers 2 sisters

You: ah wow

You: ive just got an older brother

Stranger: Was he nice ?

You: Well

You: when we were younger we pretty much hated eachother and he always hit me lol

You: but now he's more supportive and a much calmer guy

Stranger: Lmao

You: he had loads of issues i cant really hate him anymore

You: but he's quite a jealous guy so hes scared of other boys lol

Stranger: I feel that

Stranger: Oh really now? Like he doesn't have guy friends or

You: yeah hes been like a dad to me pretty much lol

You: nah he does but like

You: hes scared of my interactions with guys because, in his words he "knows what guys are like"

Stranger: That's true

You: so he would threaten me to not have a boyfriend and shit lol

Stranger: Yeah

You: im kind of glad he was like that though

Stranger: Have you been to a part yet?

Stranger: Party

You: prevented me from doing dumb shit

You: Yeah one

You: not really my thing

Stranger: Go to a few more then you'll see what he means

You: Yeah I pretty much understood from that party hahha

You: pretty much an excuse to drink, smoke and have sex

Stranger: Yep

Stranger: Like we come from different places

Stranger: Out here in Illinois people are like less picky

You: oh really?

Stranger: A lot of my friends back back in middle school lost their virginity to the same girl

You: whoa

Stranger: So like I your brother said, he knows what guys want

Stranger: When I mean a lot I mean like 3

You: damn

Stranger: Idk, I just don't like the idea of my mans being with the same girl as me

Stranger: I've always been like that

You: yeah i get you

Stranger: I'm glad you're close to your brother I'm not close to my older brother

You: ah what about your other siblings?

Stranger: Closer but not super close

Stranger: I kinda keep to myself now

You: yeah im close with him in one sense, but theres a lot i cant talk to him about

You: ahh i feels

Stranger: Yeah, like when I was 15, I stopped talking to a lot of people

Stranger: Depression hit me hard

You: shit :/

Stranger: Yeah, shit can be tough especially if you don't talk to people

Stranger: Just a fyi, if you have issues find someone to talk to

You: yeah definitely

Stranger: But be careful because some people will use it against you

You: yeah ive always been a closed book

You: especially females!!

You: they love having dirt on somebody

Stranger: Yeah

Stranger: That's how my umm relationship at 15 ended

Stranger: I told her what was going on and she told the whole school and stuff

You: wow wtf

Stranger: It was really bad because I was umm sent away for a little

You: jesus

Stranger: Yeah I was out for like two weeks

Stranger: 3 days at the hospital then about a little more than a week at the facility

You: ahh shit :c

Stranger: After that I didn't really trust anyone

Stranger: Tbh I only just started talking to people about my problems

You: yeah i get what that feels like people have broken my trust a lot growing up

You: yeah same really

You: I was forced into counselling and i hating going at first

You: my counsellor saw i hated talking to people so she encouraged me to talk to a friend

Stranger: The person I had listening, I didn't really like her do I stopped going

Stranger: So*

You: and this friend i knew i could trust so i told her a lot

Stranger: That's good

Stranger: I grew away from my best friend

You: Yeahh it felt really unnatural so i just prefered talking to someone close

Stranger: There's just some things I can't tell him

You: Yeah i get you

You: I was scared i would drive her away if i told her certain things

Stranger: Idk I want to tell someone but I don't trust anyone

You: but i still told her a lot

Stranger: It's not about driving them away

You: someone in the family maybe?

Stranger: Its about them telling the person

Stranger: I told you how I'm not close to my brother but we have a lot in common and he's closer to the family than me

Stranger: So I can't really vent to my uncles or cousins

You: right

You: ermm

You: the things you wanted to talk abiout

You: is it something that can be used against you in a way?

Stranger: Sort of

Stranger: It's more or less like I'll say something then they'll bring stuff to just destroy my character and stuff

Stranger: The way we talk is people get really defensive and start attacking you if they don't like what you have to say

You: ah i understand

You: thats a shitty position to be in :c

Stranger: Yeah, I can't tell any of my online friends either because I don't want people to think different of me if they know I tried to commit suicide

Stranger: One of the people in the community I love knows because she was one of the first people I told

You: damn

Stranger: But she told her bf back in the day and he sent me a lot of hurtful messages

You: people can be really ignorant about these kinds of things so i get its hard to talk about

You: what the fuck

You: thats so messed up smh :(

Stranger: It was like 3ish years ago but I still remember it

Stranger: He isn't with her anymore but when I do end up talking to her, my stomach sinks so much

Stranger: And my heart beats really fast

You: crap

You: have you spoken to her about that?

Stranger: Honestly just thinking about her just makes me nervous, not really very briefly

Stranger: It was just catching up and she has changed as a person and I'm just scared tbh

You: ahh damn

Stranger: Honestly, this is the biggest reason why I don't feel motivated. This is why I need inspiration

You: what specifically

Stranger: The fact that she knows that I tried to commit suicide and like I said I want to play a bigger part of the community and she streams occasionally and I don't want the community to know. Because I know I'll get a lot of messages and stuff

Stranger: Hate stands out a lot more than support

You: ahh definitely i feel that

Stranger: It makes me really nervous

You: what do you think would help?

Stranger: I don't know

Stranger: I over think as well

Stranger: Like idk one of my good friends I've been playing with for a year straight kinda did some lame shit so

Stranger: I'm not really trusting anyone

You: ah damn

Stranger: We umm got into some illegal activities and he liked about something and it was something big

Stranger: So I don't know how much he'll do to make the like true even if it means one of us will get sent away to prison

Stranger: Lie

You: ohh shit

Stranger: Yeah, so I haven't talked to that guy in like 3 weeks or so

Stranger: So I'm on edge and don't trust anyone

You: thats understandable

You: given everything thats happened

Stranger: Thanks for listening

Stranger: Even tho I don't have solutions for everything I will try to talk to people a little more so I can be a bit more friendly

You: Thank you too stranger this has been quite a good talk

You: and i never do this kind of thing lol

Stranger: Oh?

Stranger: What do you usually do

You: Nothing really I just swim around in my thoughts

Stranger: Aww

Stranger: I wouldn't mind listening to some thoughts (:

You: Like I know there is a certain person I can trust but I hate worrying people or burdening them with my problems

You: ahh I appreciate that

You: I don't even know where to begin haha

Stranger: It's cool just say whatever's on your mind

You: Okay just so you get a better understanding I'll tell you a bit about me lol

Stranger: I'm all ears

You: Right so ill just start to when I was around 10 years old

You: I always felt different and I was quite isolated from people because of it

You: like i didnt really have friends because the ones I had ended up hating me or breaking my trust or some dumb shit

Stranger: What made you feel different? Anything in particular?

You: and I got bullied for like a year

Stranger: Ahh

You: Uhh well

You: I thought differently to everyone else

You: Like

You: everyone was so much more willing to be ignorant about things just because it made them happier

Stranger: Definitely, I know how dumb people can be

You: And everyone around me would be after small meaningless things and I felt like I always thought big

You: idk what im saying hahah but yeah people pretty much thought I was a weirdo and i got bullied for it

Stranger: A lot of people miss the big picture

Stranger: I never really got bullied

You: so when i was 11 i had my first real real friends

Stranger: A little name calling here and there

You: yeah it really sucked im glad it didnt last too long

Stranger: What we're their names?

Stranger: That's nice

You: hahaha

Stranger: Were

You: I really don't remember now I left that school

Stranger: Awww

Stranger: One of my old best friends was cody

You: ohh you mean my friends

Stranger: He was a goofy kid

Stranger: Yeah silly

You: soz im so sleep deprived i read it wrong hahah

Stranger: It's okay

You: Well there was three of us

You: crystal, danielle and tamanna

You: them three*

You: and there was me

You: so it was a small friendship circle and i was friends with them from ages 11, 12, 13, 14

You: like there was additions to the group but i wont say much about them

Stranger: I feel that we all got our groups

You: but during these few years i was still that same weird different kid

You: but I suppressed that and acted like somebody else so I would have friends

Stranger: I sort of did the same thing

You: and yeah these friends weren't great, they lied a lot, said a lot about eachother (including me) behind eachothers back, spread rumours, told secrets

You: so I knew i couldnt trust them with the things i was thinking or whatnot

Stranger: Yeah, it's tough finding trustworthy people at that age

Stranger: You gotta find them before all that

Stranger: Hormones can do a lot to mess things up

You: so yeah, 14 years old was when I was really down about it, I felt lonely all the time because I was constantly stuck in my own thoughts

You: yeahh definitely

Stranger: Did you think about the same things

You: So I would spend a lot of time on my own which was the biggest mistake lol

You: pretty much yeah but

Stranger: Definitely

You: there was a lot i was thinking about

Stranger: Like what

You: Ahh things about people, things about like, our purpose

You: it got really unhealthy i guess

You: life**

You: i guess i asked a lot of questions which couldn''t be answered

Stranger: When I was younger I always knew what I wanted in life

You: ahh really?

Stranger: Yeah, it's kinda silly and a lot of people think it's lame but my friends and I all wanted to become pro players

You: ah thats sick

Stranger: That was back in the day 6ish years ago

You: its not silly at all

Stranger: It is, in the sense that it's a lot of work and a lot of people don't make it

You: True but, its good to have dreams and ambitions

You: something to work towards

Stranger: Most definitely but people need a back up plan

You: Yeah definitely

Stranger: What did you want

Stranger: Like in life

You: I never knew to be honest

You: generally I wanted to help or inspire people

You: but never knew specifically what

Stranger: I'm sure there's something that'll bring you in (:

You: but that all went to shit when i got olde rhahah

You: yeahh I'm waiting for it :)

Stranger: I'm sure you'll get the passion back and start caring again

You: I hope so

Stranger: Sometimes when I need motivation I watch some videos of people I look up to

You: Theres other things I need to fix first before that can happen

Stranger: For sure

You: ah thats nice

Stranger: Work on yourself before helping others

You: Yeah I know that I should but

You: idk i never really felt worth the effort I always thought everyone else was more important

You: second biggest mistake lol

Stranger: I feel that

Stranger: I was actually failing a lot of classes because I spent all my time helping others and not doing my own work

Stranger: So I just cheated on all my paperwork with friends

You: ah wow

You: damn

Stranger: That was middle school tho

Stranger: Can't do that in highschool

Stranger: You'll get into serious trouble

You: yeahh

You: its kind of like that here

Stranger: Academic dishonesty is a big issue

You: slightly different system

Stranger: Especially if you want to get into a big school

You: but theres mostly exam papers

You: oh yeah 100%

Stranger: Yeah

You: ahh I have such little time to fix up though

You: like last year I was really stupid

Stranger: Why

You: and the year before hahah

Stranger: What did you do

You: ahh lets see

You: so

You: when I was 14 I just fell into a deep hole of bullshit and stupidity and got into the habit of harming myself

You: and I left all of my old friends and found new, even worse friends

Stranger: I feel it, I did the same sort of

Stranger: Did they encourage your behavior?

You: but i "loved" them for the reason that we would smoke a lot of weed together

You: no nobody knew i hid it all the time

Stranger: Ahhh, yeah drugs are definitely something interesting

You: yeah definitely

Stranger: I don't think anyone who isn't there mentally should do drugs

You: dumbest thing I could have done in my situation as it was the only think I was relying on to make me even the slightest bit happy

You: yeah so true

Stranger: Happiness can be tricky

You: and then in that friendship group was this one guy who I wont go into much detail about but we were both mentally fucked up so we were just toxic together and fucked eachother up even more

Stranger: I did the same thing

You: and my mum found out about me harming myself so i was forced into counselling, my mum was getting panic attacks because of stressing about me

You: which made me feel shit so i started harming myself again

Stranger: Awww ):

You: and then at 15

You: is like one of the most important exams we do in the UK

Stranger: We do it at like 16-17

You: and basically i didnt really care much about life so I purposefully failed everything

Stranger: ):

You: here its 15-18

You: 17*

You: and then i left to go to a new school because i hated everyone there so im going there currently

You: and the most important exams

You: well the first year of it

You: are coming up

You: and yeah I'm still not in a really good place mentally

Stranger: Do you know why that is?

You: I don't smoke anymore but I rely on hurting myself wayy too much

You: I honestly do not, and ive thought about it a lot too :/

Stranger: Is it what happened in the past?

You: i think its just many small things that just add up

You: maybe

You: this is weird but recently like im remembering stuff from my childhood that I had completely forgotten about

Stranger: Yeah, something like happens to me

Stranger: It's just weird dreams of the past

You: yeahh me too

Stranger: A lot of it is middle school stuff like dances and stuff

Stranger: Like dates and what not

You: ahh

You: for me its like when i was really really young

You: but idk because these memories seem really bizarre that im wondering if im somehow making some of them up

You: one of them which I know is true is the first time that my dad hit my mum

You: he never did again but

You: I dont know why im remembering it now

Stranger: That's good

Stranger: Umm I'm not sure tbh

Stranger: Do you believe in like the guy feeling and stuff?

Stranger: Guy

Stranger: Gut*

You: sometimes i guess

You: actually yeah

Stranger: Maybe something is going to happen

Stranger: I believe in it, a few weeks back I felt weird and stuff and then it came true

Stranger: Hopefully nothing bad happens

You: hm

You: yeah hopefully

You: idk thats not the feeling i get from this

Stranger: What do you get?

You: its more like me just remembering a bunch of shit i forced myself to forget

Stranger: Ahhh

You: but i just dont understand why im remebering now

You: of all times lol

Stranger: Maybe something that happened triggered that memory?

You: i dont really know

You: like sometimes its in dreams

You: sometimes ill just be daydreaming in class and remember something vividly

You: weird shit lol

Stranger: Nah I feel that too

Stranger: I was always in iss so I day dreamed a lot

You: i know a lot of people say that like things that happen in your childhood affect you when your older

Stranger: Yeah definitely

You: but would it still affect me even if i didnt remember them?

You: cos like some of it makes sense

Stranger: Yes I'm sure it would

You: when i think of these new found memories lol

Stranger: It's hard to explain over text but yeah definitely

You: yeah i getchu haha

You: but uhh yeah, theres a lot i need to change in my life lol

Stranger: Start small, silly

You: where do you even start lmao

Stranger: Ummmmm

Stranger: So how is your studying? Good bad?

You: terrible i dont even study haha

You: im basically doing what i did last year

You: i just have no motivation for it i guess

Stranger: But your future silly

Stranger: Don't you wanna help people?

You: yeah i stopped thinking about that a while ago

You: oh yeah i was gonna talk about taht

You: so uh

Stranger: Help yourself

You: Yeah like last summer

Stranger: GET AN EDUCATION SO YOU CAN GO FOR WHAT YOU WANT

You: lmaooo

Stranger: I just want you to do something you enjoy

Stranger: And not be stuck with something you hate

Stranger: Passion matters a lot

Stranger: And I'm sure there's some guy that'll love that you do that stuff 😉

Stranger: You'll be a major guy magnet

You: But yeah a little before summer one of my friends killed herself because of the guy I used to date (the toxic relationship guy) and it just showed me how different people are to how they actually seem. I basically started hating people and became a selfish prick and drove myself a bit crazy until one of my friends metaphorically slapped me in the face and woke me up. The hatred lasted for a few months maybe

You: i agree i still need to think about what i want i guess

Stranger: Try some programs, clubs or something (:

Stranger: Hobbies are always nice to have

You: yeah id just rather do hobbies alone than with people

Stranger: My friend went through the same thing sort of

You: i still sort of hate most people hahah

Stranger: I feel that

You: its weird but because of that i feel like i can read people and i know exactly what someones intentions are

You: which is stupid but

Stranger: Yeah some people feel that way

You: yeah i always think that everyones a fake

Stranger: My brother feels that way and I hate him

You: so it makes it hard for me to get along with people

You: yeah its really stupid i need to learn to trust people

Stranger: It takes a while but people's true colors come out

Stranger: Start small, work your way up

Stranger: <(^~^<)

You: yah i should

You: i need to do some serious soul searching hahah

Stranger: Yeah, I wish I could help, but I always knew what I wanted

Stranger: I'm sure you'll find yourself

You: ahh well you've been a huge help just by listening

You: ive said stuff ive never said before to someone so

You: its been really helpful thanks stranger :)

Stranger: Listen, at the end of the day it's whatever you want

Stranger: We can leave things here if you want

Stranger: Just remember to take care of yourself

Stranger: And please don't hurt yourself

You: ahh well small steps remember

Stranger: Life is beautiful

Stranger: Oh shush

You: hahaha

Stranger: See you around (probably not tho)- J

Stranger has disconnected.

[baekzhang]

exo-k as dads

Junmyeon

actually the mum

would spoil his child a lot, like A LOT LOT

probably busy most of the time

tries to not have the kid hear about his arguments with dad (kris)

sends the kids to the best private schools because his kids need good education

fancy asf holidays

but still super caring dad mum

kids will be taught to stan Red Velvet from early age on

will buy them rv merch, too

will try to use the kids so Irene will “notice him”

once they hit puberty he is the awkward dad

will drive them to school and demand a kiss, which they wont give

will show up for prom in weird asf dad pants that were maybe in the 70s

3 kids will go to Kris

Jongin

the sweetest dad

will show them his dance performances 

will also teach them any dance they want

chicken every day

will sing for them

uncle Taemin tbh

the football dad who will teach the kids about Premier League

Chelsea jerseys for bday presents

intense football evenings

will call Minho when Arsenal lost (like they always do huehuhue, im sorry)

Kyungsoo

yall think that ksoo is a satan dad who is strict asf??

well you wrong

he is a soft dad who will always give in to his child’s demands

“dad buy me this”

puppy eyes are his weakness and all kids were taught by uncle kai and yeol

will take his children to the film sets

r&b lullaby tbh

loves to cook for them 

but chanyeol be over and eats everything so he gotta fight chanyeol cook again

but when they really piss him off they WILL have to endure the satansoo glare

will have wrinkles bc of all the shit baekhyun taught the kids

will prolly buy a farm and live a chill life away from the bloody media that wont let him chill

farmer ksoo tho....

Chanyeol

oh dear

he will have the musician children

can play every instrument before they even enter kindergarten

also rich kids

did i mention extra asf kids??

will go to the same kindergarten and elementary and high school as baek’s and dae’s children

probably super chill

uncle ksoo gotta teach them manners tho

love doctor yeol will try to set his son up with baek’s daughter (not aeri lmao)

will make a private instagram for them

shall teach them the power of memes

they will inherit the special skill of congratulating ppl first and uploading receipts 

a fun dad they are proud of

Baekhyun

i avoided this bc i will cry 

WHAT A DAD

a real cutie will play whenever wherever

a soft dad who will buy them anything they want

adventurous holidays

will teach them how to prank and how to say dumb things in Chinese

Yixing is the mum fight me

will teach them hapkido

will make them laugh with his imitations

buys them yixing standees (more like steals them and gives them to them)

sINGS THEM TO SLEEP AND WOW IMAGINE TAKE YOU HOME BRB CRYING

im in the car okay this is not good

will be basically their best friend

he is forever a child 

again bc yixing --> bilingual children

they all love uncle sehun

fashion icons before elementary school

tbh imagine him riding the children carousels in disney land

daughter will prolly be named aeri lmao

has 4 million daughters 

cook baek who will burn the kitchen

that is a true concept

Sehun

fuck ok

bubble tea

vivi is still #1 tho

but they are the only ones allowed to spend time with the queen vivi

residence in scotland bc he is a lord

fashion icons

even more fashion than baek or pcy

holiday residence #2 in france

brats but lovable brats (like himself)

mum tao/luhan (changes with his mood, occasionally also kai)

IMAGINE HIM DOING AEGYO FOR THEM !!!!

k i died 

actually fighting with tao who the better dad is

will be a petty dad (but we still love him)

will call ksoo in frustration

luhan didnt pick up thats why

Lee Sooman will try to scout them but sehun is like nope

my kids need a life

and he will give it to them

im soft now

also: ex-m as dads 

[survivorelara]

Episode #6: “"NOT ANYMOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE" - Big Z

Even though I misplayed my idol, I cannot believe that my incessant need for wanting Toby gone actually fucking worked. Like. I will be taking the credit for this one because I just fed it to my peoples and had Loris know about it and just controlled his emotional vulnerability. I would have been good without having the idol either... so wig- I fucked up on that end but WOWZA it feels good to actually lead a vote, see the vote go the way you want, and have my target argue with someone who HE thinks started this revolution. Hehehehhehee

bruh im getting major Byzantium teas right now... where my og tribe gets decimated and only two of us actually make it to the merge. right now theres only 3 of us left and just like then if only 2 of us make merge we're gonna start off as swing votes, then everyone will target us.  please don't let that happen Byzantium wasn't my greatest org experience

LMAO SO DANI THINKS WE ARE DEAD TO HER BECAUSE WE BLINDSIDED HER AT THE LOUISE VOTE? poor girl. you're playing a vivor org, get over yourself. you better pray to GOD we don't lose or that you have an idol... because your ass is done otherwise. one way or another, like I said before, only 2 zosma's max are making merge lmao…

In the middle of the challenge, so this confessional will have to be brief. I can definitely WIN this challenge, but I do question if that's the best for my game. The other tribe had a unanimous 6-1 vote, so now it's an even 3-3 split over there.

If we win, it's possible that either they'll go to rocks, or one of the Revati's will flip to save themselves? (Because it's unlikely the Auva are dumb enough to flip on one-another since that'd give us majority in the merge.)

However our tribe is currently a 3-2-2 split, and while I don't THINK the two sets of two are working together, I can't eliminate the possibility that they'd gang up on us to eliminate one of us and evening the numbers for the merge.

It's difficult to say where this whole tribe will end up shaking down, but I'm hoping to avoid Tribal if I can help it. The less Tribal Councils I go to, the more options I have going into merge because I won't have necessarily hurt any feelings by voting a particular way.

Well, I crushed the challenge, scoring all 5 points on my tribe, everyone was talking about how I carried them... which already has me worried given my history of being labelled a challenge beast after only having one good challenge.

But at the very least no tribal, I'm curious if we'll be merging at 12 or if it'll be some other number. Guess I'll know soon enough, but it's nice to have a break for a bit, and I think I'm doing pretty well on bonding with others so as to better my position.

Dylan still never talks to me. So ideally he'll be gone soonish, either by us losing the next challenge or him serving as an early merge boot. But even if he sticks around I doubt it'll be a major problem.

MY HOPE, for the other tribe is to send home Drew or Roxy (preferably Drew since I know Roxy and can work with that I think), to split up that Power-Pair as Drew was a fool for spoiling that. I don't really care who goes so long as the Revati's stay, and if we DO lose

Now if I could just find a damn idol... or SOMETHING.

HELLO LITTLE MIX AND NICKI ARE COLLABING I REPREARJT  HHHHHH THEYRE COLLABBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jack Lawrence is so nice and so pretty. I would die for Jack. I would cry for Jsck. I will climb a mountain- and I hate walking. oh thats climbing I hate that too. Jack is nice Jack is kind. I shit on the Jack haters. He is just perfect. He could do nothing and still be thebest non-lead host. (Ya AJ shuttup) Anna Jane is PERFECTION. Erik is cutie she is cutie and I love AJ n Erik. She is hot and if I was gay i'd fuck. She is good listener and perfect and beautiful andeveryone get u a friend like AJ bc she is a BIG ASS MOOD in my life like stop being so perfect thanks

Sometimes I get confused about which day we’re on, so hopefully it’s day 14 lmao. The other tribe snatched Toby & I’m not surprised. Auva didn’t just make a mistake that will hinder themselves, but it will also affect what’s left of og Zosma. The Auvacados could’ve worked with Toby to start taking down Revati, but it would seem that they’re still out for vengeance. Toby was setup to be in a swing position, of course he’s gonna feel out both sides before choosing one. Now Auva is split with 3 on each side & I don’t see any of them flipping, unless og Auva is gullible again. Drew T. didn’t trust Revati either because he wasted an idol on himself even though Toby voted in favor of him. Flops.

Kori is legitimately a godsend. He c a r r i e d Revati in the challenge by scoring all 5 points that we needed to win. He says that he focused hard & waited for the messages to pop up which mind you were separated by intervals of several minutes in the span of 4 hours. Kori is a very humble dude & tries to downplay his capabilities, but he’s the GOAT. Maybe even the shield I needed. :O

I’m not too worried about Dani at this point in time. If Revati happens to lose then she would probably be the easiest to turn people against. Everyone participated in the music video challenge while she was the only one that did not, and she has a habit of sitting out. Sam told me that she hasn’t talked to him since the day we blindsided Louise & I’ve gotten the same treatment. Since I’m “dead to her”, I think that making a move against Dani pre-merge would benefit me in the long run. This would also change everyone’s perception of Sam and I to being non-threatening come merge as we don’t have the number

tea time sisters! toby was a king but was a threat and I have to see the benefits in him going. this tribal is going to be eventful I think... because I think I’m getting votes because roxy seems to really want me gone??? but i have a plan that I think will work :))))) I tell John to vote out drew t or roxy and I say that I know he doesn’t really want to vote out drew h so I’ll settle and sacrifice for drew t. if he’s fine with voting roxy then I tell him that I think I can get drew t to vote her too, and then we can vote him out next, when in reality we’ll vote out drew h next. if he wants to vote drew t now then I tell him me and z will do it too when hopefully z will vote out roxy with me and drew t instead because roxy is trying to get one of us out. ezpz . In fact we could even vote drew h. it’s all tea. I really hope z and John are loyal to me, I think z will be, and I think I can just play with me saying I trust you to John over and over. cute!!!! I stay winning... I can’t believe that I .. actually have a plan... that’s t it’s so easy idk why I couldn’t do this before my mind is just so powerful now? also auva idol is GONE and that’s fantastic and also I got legacy bitches!!!! only 7 more bitches need to go then I can use it :)

Soooooo half of this tribe is just completely inactive during the most important hours of this game prior to tribal. It’s SO FRUSTRATING because even if I want to make some sort of strategy with them it’ll take them at least 2-3 hours to reply to me. I cannot do this for too long. The other issue is that people are sooooo hesitant to throw names out, and when you do throw a name out literally EVERYONE hears that you started it and it gets turned on you. That happened to me when I said John’s name once to Roxy last tribal. I worry it’s about to happen to Loris suggesting Roxy too. We’ll see how it plays out, if I end up dying I’ll at least go on an active note rather than an inactive one.

THERE ARE TWO HOURS UNTIL TRIBAL AND LORIS IS THE ONLY ONE HERE

Whew another tribal and everyone is like absent again!? Wow we love productivity! Trademarked by the Celestial ORG! Please, come buy some productivity!

I hope we merge soon. My goal is to make it to merge without going to tribal. Idk how my tribe would pan out, we got a few inactive asf people. I dont have an idol but I really want one . tbh I'm so glad I took my break bc I'm not focused on winning im just focused on enjoying myself and my game while it lasts and I feel like its significantly improved my game.

Okay so Loris isn't talking to me but he's talking to other people so I'm being TOLD they're going for Roxy but I don't really believe it, I think if an idol is played, I'm dying courtesy of him and Z. Just gotta keep the faith in my people tbh

We doin big z vut doing loris kihhtve been better cause of her connections vut my nothing much I can do. I dint Rlly like the mrtge we r hesding into we r hella in minority

sometimes i forget im playing a org because all we do is win oh i got an idol btw hihihi

Honestly I am happy Toby went. HE WAS A BITCH! He wanted me out the the first round. Now to get Sam and Ciere out next. Expect Tea motherfuckers. Anyways, literally I have not talked a lot. I have gotten to know Kori. He is a shady fuck, I know that from past experience but I need him. I talked to Emma or Emmy or whatever the fuck her name is too. She seems really sweet.

ok so I think me and Ci'ere are bonding, which wow I never imagined that I would have a social game. I still haven't messaged Dani or Kori which is something I should do. The fact that they haven't messaged me, coupled with the fact that I'm alone on this tribe cements the fact that I am the obvious vote. Brb let me try to make connections.

SO we lost again, and my broken phone prevented me from participating in the challenge. Looking at this based on the challenge I should be leaving, buuuut I am going to be voting big Z out tonight, and because the auvas don't want rocks, they are going to do what I want. I have wanted this guy out from a game standpoint from the very beginning, but once you throw my name out there it's very hard to get back on my good side. Loris is going to be annoyed with me I am sure, he was trying to manipulate the situation between us but I could see right through the whole thing. I had a call with Roxy and she made an alliance with us and the two drews. She seemed to be worried that I would want to stick with loris and Z but I knew immediately what I wanted to do. I am really hoping that a merge will happen next, and that this move will not deeply affect me right away.

Big Z is voted out 4-2.