#here are more of these bc ppl seem to enjoy them somehow?

[leannswritings]

NERD

Syn : could it be that your silly nerdy juntae might not be what he seems.

Warnings - NOT PROOFREAD (I never do that ngl) smut ofc, dom?juntae exhibitionism, lwk don’t remember what else.

Word count : 4.6k (omg?)

A/N : SORRY I TOOK A MIN, exams kicked my ass.. anyways can you tell that I wrote some of this after drinking? lol anyways I saw some ppl wanted smut so I wrote this first ! But trust fluff is coming. It was hard to write this lwk bc like, juntae. But I do think he’s an uncover freak. Lemme know if I did anything wrong. enjoy xoxo.

College isn’t easy, between balancing classes, assignments, and dealing with random men that would ask you out for drinks was rough. The only thing you looked forward to at the moment was break, no worries, no stress, but fun.

This meant that you could hangout more with your friends, especially that cutie Juntae. You two met each other back in middle school when you did student exchange, since you’ve been inseparable, although you chose to come to Korea for university and went to the same school as him, you both still had no time to hangout with each other, only seeing each other off campus. It seemed nobody even knew you were friends on campus or thought you would even look in his direction.

Since it was the final week you decided to visit his side of the campus to surprise him, hoping you would be able to at least go get to some food with him.

“Juntae !”

You called out, waving your hand as he walked down the stairs.

Bystanders watched you as you stood there, those that had classes with him wondered who you were and why you were there for him. Stopping in their tracks to see what would happen next. You were attractive so nobody would’ve guessed you were actually there for HIM, maybe for papers? Or something like that BUT HIM? He looked like a virgin would hadn’t even been alone in a room with a girl before let alone have one as a friend or more.

“What are you doing here”

He smiled softly as he quickly walked towards you. You wrap your arm around one of his, before reaching up and ruffling his hair with your free hand.

“We should go celebrate, we’re almost on break so–”

“YO JUNTAE”

You turn your head to see a man holding a basketball, wearing an odd outfit. Humin..or “Baku” you should say. Behind him stood another guy wearing the same old blue hoodie. Hyuntak. You knew them very well, seeing them in pictures and overhearing them over juntae on the phone, yet somehow you’ve yet to see them more than once in person.

“Woah. Is this the person you always talk about? I understand why you always do now. They’re prettier than I thought they were gonna be.”

Were you supposed to be ugly? You couldn’t help to let out a laugh. The way he worded things never made sense but you knew he didn’t mean any harm, if anything he was probably dumbfounded the “shy” juntae would be around someone like you. You were gonna make fun of what he just said but you decided to make fun of juntae instead, he always had the cutest reaction when you did. Baku had given you the smallest bit of information and you were gonna use to it your advantage.

“You must talk about me a lot? Do you brag about having such a pretty girl by your side? Come on Tae, tell me what you say about me.”

You couldn’t help but laugh as you watched his face heat up in real time, you tried to make eye contact with him to tease him even more but he turned his head away from you.

“Hey, Baku right? You should tell me more, I want to know what he says about his pretty best friend.”

You said with a smug look on your face. Baku was about to answer but before he could Juntae interrupted.

“Food. We were going to celebrate right? Let’s go get food.”

“And drinks?”

You added at the end of his sentence.

It’s not like he would tell you no anyways so he just nodded as he started walking with your arm still around his, you used your head the signal for the two boys to follow.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

At the restaurant another one of his friends joined, he was very quiet so you didn’t even notice a new face at the table, he just watched as everyone else talked as he slowly ate. You figured out that was sieun, he was actually super sweet despite the short conversation.

“So, what’s the plan for the summer? I don’t have any, I don’t think I’ll be going home this year.”

You asked. Baku and Gotak of course were training for basketball, Sieun planned to study over the summer and visit his “friend”, Juntae seemed as if he had no plans. His major wasn’t one that required a lot, so if he had anything to do over the summer it would be very short.

“Juntae if you have no plans you should let me stay with you, they’re closing the doors for the summer.”

You said before taking a sip of the Soju in front of you. International dorms were closing for the summer, giving students time to visit their families out of country or to travel, but that meant you had no where to go. This gave you an excuse to be in juntae’s face more but also a place to stay. You hate to admit it– well not really you always threw out signs you liked him by teasing him, but you’d hate to admit you’ve grown a liking to his cute round face and stupid glasses.

“Huh”

“You stay off campus right? Lemme stay with you”

The table was silent, other than the sounds effects that came from Baku’s mouth. Juntae stared for a minute, trying to think of how to answer. You smiled before leaning into to whisper something in his ear, something improper, something that would cause the hairs on his skin to stand up and his pale face turn pink. You scooted back in your seat with a smile on your face before leaning forward to reach for more food. The air being frozen solid—until your smile turned into a laugh.

“Why is everyone so quiet”

You ask you looking around.

“Are you trying to take his purity away? Have you already? Oh our poor juntae”

Baku said in a joking manner, making sad faces and pretending to cry. Tak elbowed him before putting his head down to laugh at the matter. Sieun turning away to hide his smile. Baku continued to joke about juntae, telling you stories about when they were in high-school, stories you never heard from him, stories that made you feel as if you missed out on all the fun.

“Maybe I should’ve done another round of exchange in highschool huh?”

You joked.

The night went on for longer than expected, after paying for the food you expected it to be over but it seemed the night wasn’t over for everyone. Sieun was the only one who left the group early on—which was the the original plan. After a short walk everyone else headed to a bar for a round of drinking, afterwards was a karaoke room. At this point you and Baku have gotten pretty close due to the alcohol and the games. Juntae didn’t drink, while hyuntak kept the drinking to a minimum, someone had to keep their sanity and responsibility—and it sure as hell wasn’t going to be you. After preforming a duet with Baku you sat down next to juntae, picking up another shot glass, you looked at him and instead of drinking it you try and give it to him. He took it but he immediately put down on the table and shook his head to tell you he wasn’t drinking because there was no way you would be able to hear him over the sounds of Baku’s voice on the microphone. You couldn’t tell if it was because of the shining and flashing lights, the blasting music, the alcohol, or just you; but juntae looked different, he was already something you craved but this made it so much worse. Your face started heating up, you slightly scooted closer to him, not soon after you put your legs on the seats and basically crawled to him, trapping him in the corner he was sitting in. You were hovering over his upper body, your face almost touching his face, close enough to feel his short breaths mixing with your heavy breaths before you move over to talk into his ear.

“Juntae.. I want you to keep on your glasses and that same stupid look when you fuck me.”

Your word was slurred and slow, you placed a kiss on his ear before moving down his neck, placing kisses in any spot you could actually recognize in your blurred vision. Juntae pushed you off, trying hard to not push you too hard but just enough to remove you. The room was silent as the music stopped playing and the only thing that could be heard was your mumbling about Juntae and Baku’s drunk laughter. He stood and tried to help you to your feet, putting your arm around him so he could guide you to walk. Tae looked at Baku and then turned to hyuntak and told him, he was gonna take you home, yet hyuntak couldn’t help but nod and just stare at the lipstick on his neck as he walked out of the overly bright room.

“Woah. I didn’t know he was like that.”

Baku said drunkenly.

After leaving it was even more of a battle, trying to get you to stay awake, walk, and stopping you from saying weird things to random bystanders.

It was 2am, so the train was not an option for travel, even if it was in your current state he thought it would be a bad idea to put you on a quiet train. He tried to flag down a taxi multiple times, failing multiple times as you leaned against him. You randomly put up your hand and started waving for a taxi, it’s as if the heavens were on your side and your side only even in your wrecked state. A taxi pulled in front of you both, juntae carefully helped you in before sitting next to you, leaning forward to tell the driver which direction to go in.

The taxi was just right, the lights flashing throughout the car from the passing street lights and business, the moderate temperature in the car, and the stillness reminded you so much of car rides when you were younger. The mood was just right, you could slowly feel yourself falling asleep as everything dimmed. You leaned your head on his shoulder, letting your body rest and your mind drift off into another world.

Juntae let it happen. It was better than your past drunk actions a few moments ago that he had to force himself to ignore. He let you sleep on his shoulder no problem, carefully moving to check his phone to make sure he wouldn’t awake you. While on his phone he thought it would be funny to take a picture of you, that way when you woke up you could see just how much you had truly been drinking and maybe a slight warning to not drink that much anymore. He took a picture, and after started recording, getting close to your face before back the phone back up and showing his neck to the camera.

“This is the first time you’ve drunk so much in front of me, you and Baku don’t need to hangout anymore. When you’re sober, I hope you see this and feel silly.”

He said to the camera, pouting in a way.

As you reached your destination Juntae didn’t want to wake you, so he struggled to pull you out of the car and put you on his back. Reaching in the car to grab your purse carefully. In the moment he couldn’t have been more thankful to stay on the second floor since there was no elevator in his complex. It took him a while to get to his front door due to you moving around and him making sure to not fall down the stairs while carrying you, but he eventually made it after the struggle.

He took you to the room, placing you on the bed before taking off your shoes and tucking you under the covers. He let out a sigh before walking into the living room and falling onto the couch.

When he got to the couch he finally had time to process what happened earlier. He couldn’t lie and say he didn’t enjoy it, but at the same time because he had never seen you so drunk he didn’t know if it was the alcohol or your true feelings towards him. Either way he wouldn’t have sex with you while you weren’t fully conscious, it wouldn’t be right on his part, though he couldn’t get the rushing thoughts out of his mind, how you would look,sound, and taste. His body was starting to heat up, his blood rushing to his lower half. He tried to clear his mind, turning on the tv before eventually forcing himself to go to sleep.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

When you woke up it had to be around noon, the sun was high in the sky and you could hear the slight hum of passing cars. You looked around trying to remember who,what, and where you were and how you got to where you currently are. You looked around the room a few more times before figuring out where you were, but while doing that you started to remember bits and pieces of last night.

“Oh my god.”

You whispered to yourself. The only parts you would remember was the horrible drunk karaoke, getting on top of juntae, and getting in a taxi, everything after that was a blur of consciousness to the point you couldn’t tell what was real and what was fake. You could feel your body warming up from the embarrassment, you couldn’t believe what you have done. You promised to not drink that much anymore—well, not at least for a while.

You got up from the bed and walked out of the room, looking around, searching for juntae. On the table in front of the couch he previously laid on was a note he left. He had headed out to run some errands but had no clue when he was coming back. You let out a sigh and just assumed he would be back soon since you slept so long without knowing what time he left.

You smelled yourself and— oh god you smelled like sweat and alcohol. You felt even more embarrassed at the fact he had to smell you as he carried you. You walked back into his room and looked around, opening drawers and doors to find any clothing you can put on. It’s not like he would mind if you wore his clothes, I mean you used to borrow his stuff back in middle school all the time. You grabbed a shirt and held it up against your body. Last time you borrowed his clothes you were able to fit it perfectly but now everything you picked up was bigger than you. It made you realize how much you and him have grown, you weren’t the same kids from middle school. You grab a few more things and head to the bathroom.

In the shower you had much more time to go into deeper thought. Thinking about all the moments from when you met till now, when you started to like him and how you would go about telling him. Those innocent thoughts turned into the darkest deepest desires that was in the back of your mind, from wondering about how you would confess to wondering how he would look under you. When you thought of juntae you always liked the idea of him being submissive, but at the same time you wondered if he was capable of being dominant and telling you what to do. These thoughts sent waves of heat throughout your body, your hands found themselves exploring your body, touching every part that would make you react. Your mumbles and moans bounced off the walls, because of this and the water you didn’t hear juntae coming into the apartment, nor did you hear him knocking on the door until his voice called out.

“Are you ok in there?”

You immediately froze.

“Mhm— I’m ok”

(Holy shit I’m a pervert)

You replied and thought to yourself you immediately turned off the water and quietly shamed yourself for touching yourself in another persons bathroom. You dried yourself off and put on his clothes before walking out of the bathroom. When you walked out of the bathroom, there he was sitting on the couch with a pillow in his lap. As you walked out you could see the red flush on his face, the flush that got worse after he looked at what you were wearing. He was already turned on from overhearing you in the bathroom, now this? He couldn’t handle it. The grip he had on the pillow tightened as you walked towards him.

“Tae I’m sorry about last night..”

“It’s fine..uh look at this.”

He faced away from you as he pulled his phone out of his pocket, opening his gallery to show you the video from last night. The embarrassment levels were even worse after seeing the video. All you could do was sit there without your mouth open in shock, you already knew you did embarrassing things but oh my.

You grabbed his phone and put it on the table beside you and plopped down on the couch next to him, leaving no space between you two. It didn’t take too long after you sat next to him to realize why he had the pillow there, you wanted to confess first before doing anything with him but you can’t lie when you say your lust was overflowing. You were just gonna be straight up from now on.

“Juntae. I meant what I said and did last night. I like you a lot, and I want you more than anything I’ve ever wanted, and clearly you feel the same way.”

You said as you put your hand over the pillow he had in his lap.

“Yeah?”

He turned and looked at you, questioning if you were being serious or not. You nodded your head confirming what you had said was true. After that he wasted no time to throw the pillow out of his lap and pull you into it. His lips crashing into yours as your hands traveled up to hold his face, his hands traveling down to your waist. You could feel him twitching underneath you, causing your hips to rock against it. You broke away from the kiss and traveled down his neck, softly moaning against it and leaving logos of your love wherever you could. He allowed you to do so, making it feel like you had control of the situation, but truthfully he had no intention on letting you be in control. All his emotions has been pent up for the last couple of years and this was finally a chance to let them loose. One of his hands traveled to the back of your neck, using it to slightly pulling you back from his neck and redirecting you back to his lips. Your hips bucked as a response to him taking control. His grip tightened on your hip forcing you to grind slower against him, a pace he could direct. After a few minutes he stood up, your legs wrapping around his waist as he stumbled to the bedroom as y’all continued to make-out. He put you onto the bed before standing in front of you before a sentence you never thought would come out of your mouth did.

“Can I record?”

You don’t know why you asked that, you just wanted it. Juntae looked like he didn’t care what you did, he didn’t say a word. He went out of the room and got his phone off the table and set it up on the stand beside the bed. You enjoyed this, the silent and quick movements, the way he showed how much he really wanted to quickly get inside of you. Your hands shot to his waistband pulling at it, signaling that you want him to take it off. He nodded but before he did he put his hands on your shoulders to guide you to the floor, taking your spot on the bed. In front of him, looking up, your hands once again going to his waistband pulling. This time he pulled it down along with his boxers.

Silence.

“Can you handle it?”

You nod before wrapping your hands around his dick. To be honest you were sure you could handle it, maybe you were tryna look good but you couldn’t hide the slight fear that was mixed with excitement on your face. His hand went to the back of your head, pushing your face closer to his dick before you opened your mouth to accept him in. The wetness and warmth made him throw his head back in a groan. Your tongue wrapped around him, licking at all it could taste. You couldn’t fit it all in your mouth, having too using your hand to stroke what you couldn’t reach at the moment. The sounds that came out of his mouth was nothing but dirty, it was nothing like what you had imagined. Your legs squeezed and rubbed together, trying to put some type of pressure on yourself. You tried to force yourself farther down on him, he eventually grabbed a handful of your hair and forced you down farther.

“Just— stay, stay right there.”

He said shakily

It was clear he was coming towards his climax, his grip on your hair tightened as he forced you to stay in that spot despite your struggle. Finally pulling you back after painting the inside of your mouth white. You were a choking mess, drool going down your chin and tears falling from your eyes. He patted your head as you tried to catch a breath stop yourself from choking.

“You’re ok.”

He calmly reassured as he leaned closer. He didn’t do anything else until you calmed down. You let him know when it was ok to continue by kissing him. He took no time to put you on the bed, he didn’t even worry about taking off the shirt you had on, he liked the view of you in his clothes. When he finally got a glimpse of what was under the shirt he let out a small laugh, you were wearing his way too big for you boxers that was practically falling off of you. He leaned back up and started kissing your neck and collarbone as he pulled down the boxers. Finally he got a glimpse at the real you. The naked you. The wet you.

“You’re enjoying this a lot aren’t you?”

He said with a smile. Looking at how wet you had gotten.

“So are you.”

You replied.

He didn’t say anything else, he just looked at you with the deepest lust filled eyes, just to mess with you. He used his dick to trace down from your belly button to your lips, rubbing against them. He did this just to tease you, just to see how you would respond. You knew what you needed and so did he, yet he stalled and rubbed against you instead of going in.

“Tae—“

You said as you let go of the sheets and reached down to direct him to your entrance, only for him to grab your hands and move them out of the way.

“Can’t wait ?”

He said in a smug ass way, the vocal tone annoyed you, it reminded you of the stupid tone he used to debate about the manga he’d read. The tone you hated being used in this context was.. annoying but in an attractive way.

“Stop playing already..”

“Is that a yes? You can’t wait any longer can you? You’re so impatient.”

It was clear he was getting impatient also, every word was followed by a pant, but he liked how you looked when you were getting overly upset.

“Yes, I’m being serious Tae please ju—“

That all he needed to hear. Without any warning he slammed himself into you, causing you to let out a sound that was a mix of pain and pleasure. Your hands found his clothed shoulders, gripping onto them as tightly as you could. The pace wasn’t too fast or too slow, it was just right, giving you time to get used too. You turned your head to the side to avoid eye contact with him, all that confidence left your body after you started making sounds you were slightly embarrassed of. All of a sudden you feel a grip on your face forcing your head to face forward.

“You wanted to see me right? My stupid face? In these glasses? Then don’t look away, keep looking.”

He held your face in position as he kept at a constant pace. Your legs eventually wrapping around him and arms pulling him towards you signaling for a kiss. He complied and leaned into your kiss, his hand still holding you in place. When he pulled away from the kiss he moved down your face to your jaw and then your neck, kissing and sucking at what he could leaving the same marks you had previously left on him. His hand left your face and traveled up your borrowed shirt. He traced the outline of your chest with his fingers before taking a handful of your boob in his hand, using his thumb to play with your nipples. He played with them as if he had gotten a new joystick on a controller, circling and pinching at it. The noises that crowded the room was unholy, between your moans, small untranslatable comments, and his mix of groaning and whimpering. His glasses started to fog up, which annoyed him, annoyed him enough to speed up his pace. He pulled back up and eventually took off his glasses and threw them in a random direction, and took off his shirt in a few swift motions.

“Fuck..”

The first time you’ve heard him cuss, and oh was it attractive. Your legs tried to tighten around him, more than you already were, there was no possible way to tighten it even more. You once again pulled him back into you, clawing at his back. You could feel yourself getting close to your climax, your words getting more slurred, you wouldn’t be surprised if you were drooling at this point. Of course like everything, he noticed this too. Though your bodies were close he tried to move his hand between you and press down on your stomach as much as he could. It was like an out of body experience, maybe because it had been a while since you’ve been with someone or maybe he was just this good. You could even give him a warning other than your noises getting louder and worse before you released on him. There was no stopping after that, he went at the fastest speed could, taking advantage of your sensitivity, leaving you in a state you could’ve never imagined yourself.

He soon followed you, pulling out and cumming on your stomach.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

He helped clean you up, softly talking to you, contradicting his voice and words earlier. After you both cleaned up he helped you to the living room your legs still shaking. Once you sat on the couch you turned your head to see a shadow by the window. You got Juntae’s attention and pointed at the window. He walked over and went to open the door, once he looked out he saw Baku standing beside the door and Tak sitting on the ground next to him.

“How long have you been out here?”

“Too long. Too long friend.”

Baku said with a painfully jolly expression on his face. He lifted up a bag which seemed like a to-go from a chicken spot.

“Let’s eat, you need the nutrition.”

He said wrapping his arm around him.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

(A/N) Lwk, I can imagine Juntae showing someone a picture and then they swipe and see the video.. no? Just me?

[mimasroom2]

“But you’re like…. real pretty.” A Mean Girls Ellie au

Mean girls Ellie au but it’s only up until the burn book scene bc I do not wanna be writing the whole ass thing😭 Janice & Damian don’t exist in this au shhh we don’t need them.. we’re focused on Ellie. Also! Don’t worry ab the ages of characters plz LMAO just pretend they’re all in high school unless said otherwise. This took me a long time to write 2 be accurate 2 the movie so pleaseeeee show it some love ! Literally just mean girls but then I take my own route & they fuck😇

C/w: Regina!Ellie & Cady!reader have secret sexy time but that’s later 😋. Ppl are judgmental but it’s mean girls what did you expect. Uhh Ellie curses a lot ig. Strictly lesbian reader. Allusion 2 reader masturbating to Ellie but no details. David is their classmate (still a pedophile) & Ellie breaks his finger😘! Ellie is VERY morally grey. SLOWWWW BURNNNN.

You as Cady

Ellie as Regina

Dina as Gretchen

Jesse as Karen

W/c: 5k

𓆟. ° .• .𓆝 .• ° . 𓆟 . ° .• .𓆞

“Here’s your lunch. I put a dollar in there so that you can get yourself some milk. Ask someone where to do that, okay?”

“Dad, I’m fine. I can find milk by myself.” You roll your eyes playfully at him.

Today was your first day of high school. Well, actually public school in general. You had been living with your parents in Africa until you moved to the US, and that meant no more homeschooling for you.

You wave goodbye to your parents as they drop you off. “Yeah, I’m not worried. High school is gonna be a fucking breeze.” You think to yourself, turning around to walk into the school and you almost run face first into a bus. You look back at your parents and you swear to god your mom almost had a heart attack.

Great start.

~

“Thank fucking god.” You sighed to yourself. Finally the first few classes were done, and you could eat. You thought it was weird you had to eat on a schedule now, you could practically have lunch whenever you felt like it back in Africa, just like the grazing animals.

You can finally relax, kick up your feet, enjoy some nice quiet you time and-

“Holyyyy shitttttt.” You slowly take your headphones off as you walk into the roaring cafeteria. This is seriously where they expect you to eat? Sounded more like 100 dying elephants to you. You scoff and slowly start walking around, watching all the people at each different table converse with one another. There’s so many different cliques, and it seems like they just get worse as you go deeper into the cafeteria.

You stop in the very center of the cafeteria. You’re in front of a table with three people sitting side by side, not across from each other. There’s an Asian guy counting on his fingers, a girl with her hair in a bun and a really pretty smile, and a girl in the middle. She has her hair in a sort of half up half down style, freckles all over her face, and the cutest fucking nose you’ve ever seen. She looks up at you from her seat in between them, and you two make eye contact. Your heart practically jumps out of your chest. You’re completely mesmerized by her, but unfortunately the beautiful stranger keeps you from looking where you’re walking, and you run right into a guy carrying a lunch tray.

“What the shit-“ he starts, but then looks up at you. “Oh damn. Never seen you before. The names David.” He reaches his hand out to shake yours, and you catch him looking down your low cut shirt. He makes eye contact with you again and smirks, “How bout you pay me back for my lunch that’s now on the ground. Come with me to the tech booth after school.”

Suddenly you hear a voice coming from behind you, “Ew. Fuck off, David. No one wants to hit that.”

You turn around and it’s the girl you had locked eyes with before. You manage to say “Uh, hit what?” worried you’d somehow manage to get into a fight on your first day of school.

“You fuck off, Ellie. I’m just bein’ friendly. Plus, I bet she’d wanna hit. You see the way she’s lookin’ at me?”

You look between the two of them, still trying to figure out what they want you to smack. “Sorry, hit what exactly?”

The girl named Ellie looks you up and down, slowly. You gulp. “Do yah wanna have sex with him? Yes or no.”

Your eyes widen and you shake your head ‘no’ vigorously, earning yourself a laugh from the cute brunette defending you.

“Kay, it’s settled. No one wants to sleep with you. Move along, David. Can’t believe you’re in the same grade as us and yet you still somehow manage to be a pedophile.”

He scoffs and walks away. You smile politely at her, and try to wander off to find somewhere to sit. However, you can feel her eyes burning holes into your back, or maybe your ass, and she suddenly calls out to you, “Wait. Sit down. How come I don’t know you?”

You look around, point to yourself and say “Me?” Then mentally slap yourself. Who else could she be talking to?

“Yeah, you. Sit down, babe.” She nods her head at the seat in front of her, the way you’ve seen guys do. You sit down. You’re not going to say no to anyone defending you on your first day of school. And you’re definitely not saying no to the beautiful stranger beckoning you to sit with her.

The other two people at the table don’t smile as you sit down, they just look at Ellie and back at you. Ellie repeats herself, “How come I don’t know a pretty girl like you?”

You’re caught off guard, blinking at her while trying to think of something to say. “Oh, I’m new.” You shift in the uncomfortable plastic seat. “I just moved here from Africa.”

She raises one eyebrow. You notice there’s a scar through it. “Huh?”

“I was homeschooled.”

She grabs the chain she’s wearing around her neck and starts fiddling with it. “Huh?”

Do people not know what that is? You try explaining to her, “My mom taught me at home-“

She interrupts you, putting one hand in the air in a ‘stop’ motion. “No, fuck, I know what homeschooling is, I’m not stupid.” She leans in closer like she’s studying you. “So you’ve.. never been to a real school before?”

You shake your head ‘no’

“Shut the fuck up.” She scoffs and looks between the two people by her side, “Shut the fuck. Up.”

“I didn’t say anything..” You laugh awkwardly.

“Huh. That’s so interesting. But you’re like…. real pretty.” She raises her eyebrows.

“Oh! Uh thank you.” You look down, trying to hide your blush.

“Ahh, so you agree. You think you’re real pretty?” Ellie has this shit eating grin on her face, and for a second you think she’s no better than the guy who was hitting on you.

“Oh, uh, I don’t know-“

“Wow!” Ellie’s eyes suddenly light up. “Love the bracelet you have. Where’d you get it?” She grabs your arm without permission and looks at your wrist. She rests her chin in her palm and looks at you with beautiful twinkling green eyes, waiting for you to reply. Somehow you didn’t notice her tattoo until just now. It’s really nice - ferns and what looks like a moth. Fuck, that’s hot.

“My uh-“ You swear you can’t speak. You’ve never had a stuttering problem and yet here you are tripping over yourself in front of the most enchanting girl you’ve ever seen. “My mom made it for me.”

“Ohmygod it’s just like mine!” The girl to the side of her finally speaks up, then giggles cutely, “That is soooo fetch.”

Ellie suddenly frowns. She turns to her side to face the girl and scoffs. “What the fuck is fetch.”

“It’s like slang! Uhm from Jackson.” She looks down, away from Ellie like she’s ashamed of what she just said.

“So if you’re from Africa….. why are you white??” The one guy of the group suddenly says, staring at you, almost like he’s disgusted.

“Holy fuck, Jesse. You can’t just ask people why they’re white.” The other girl scolds him.

“Let me talk to Dina n Jesse privately for like one second, would yah, dollface?” You swear she actually winks at you.

You gulp, and nod, looking around trying to avoid making any more eye contact with Ellie. She whispers briefly to the girl, who’s Dina, and then to the boy, who’s Jesse.

She turns back to you, “Alright, jus’ to let yah know, we don’t do this very often. So consider this a big deal, alright?” Ellie grins at you. You just nod.

“We’re inviting you to have lunch with us every day for the rest of the week.” Dina chimes in, smiling widely.

You put your hands up, “Oh you don’t have to-“

“Fuck yeah. So I’ll see yah tomorrow.” Ellie interrupts you again. You really should get used to that if you’re going to spend more time with them.

“On Wednesdays we wear pink.” Jesse winks at you and gives you a big thumbs up.

~

The next day you enter the cafeteria and Ellie immediately flags you over, making a ‘cmere’ motion with two fingers. “There she is.” She grins. She’s wearing a low cut tank top, a little pink cardigan and leather pants. The tank top has writing that says ‘a little bit dramatic.’ You smile to yourself, somehow it makes no sense and fits her perfectly at the same time. You look down at your own clothes, a simple button up pink shirt you borrowed from your mom and jeans. Suddenly you feel way less cool, even though you’re somehow sitting with the most popular kids in school.

This time, you’re sitting next to Jesse, with Ellie and Dina across from you.

“Yknow how many calories are in this? Doesn’t say.” Ellie hands you some sort of bar and you look at the numbers on the wrapper. 48/120.

“Yeah, that should be 40%.” You hand it back to her, but your fingers touch hers accidentally. There’s butterflies in your stomach again, you realize they’re the same ones from yesterday. You thought it was just first day jitters.

She stares at you and keeps her hand there a moment too long, before clearing her throat and saying, “Fuck it. I’m getting cheese fries.” She pulls her hand away and stands up swiftly.

Dina watches her walk away then turns back toward you. “So. Are there any boys you think are cute?”

You try to think of the first girl your mind remembers that’s not Ellie. “Well, there’s this girl in my calculus class-“

“Who is it?” Jesse interrupts you, and Dina’s eyes widen.

You clear your throat, “Her names Cat.”

“No!” They both shout in unison, and it actually makes you jump a little.

Dina actually fans herself as if she’s going to faint. You swear you’ve only seen that in movies. “Ohmygod you can’t like Cat! That’s Ellie’s ex girlfriend.”

“They went out for a year. She gave her the tattoo on her arm.” Jesse chimes in.

You try to hide the confused yet pleased look on your face when you find out Ellie likes girls too.

Dina continues, “Listen, any exes are off limits to friends. That’s just like, the rules… everywhere.” She crosses her arms and Jesse nods. “Oh, but don’t worry. I won’t tell Ellie what you said. It’ll be our little secret.” She smiles at you.

~

At the end of the day, you’re walking back to the parking lot, just thinking to yourself. Jesse seems probably the nicest, but he’s basically got no head on his shoulders. At least from what you could tell. Dina’s nice too, but there’s something off about her. Maybe because she’s closer to Ellie than Jesse? You felt like you couldn’t trust her entirely. And Ellie. Fuck man, she’s absolutely gorgeous. You can’t get her out of your mind no matter what you do, you stayed up later than usual last night thinking about her… but that doesn’t matter right now.

Suddenly, you hear a car beep from behind you. You turn around to see all three of them in a classy convertible, with Ellie driving. “Get in, fuckface, we’re going shopping.” you hear her say, and well, you can’t really say no.

Ellie’s like.. a hot masc bratz doll. You never had any dolls. Especially not bratz. Your mom hated them. She’d probably hate Ellie too, thinking about it.

~

You four end up walking through a mall, and there’s actually a lot of people from your school there. The three of them are just.. passing by all these cool looking stores. You haven’t had the chance to actually shop yet since you’ve moved, and you don’t want to feel any more alien than you already do, so you don’t ask Ellie to stop by any of them. You’re all walking side by side, but Ellie’s the farthest away from you. She points at a shop labeled ‘Spencer’s’ and whispers something to Dina. Dina laughs and has to hold onto Ellie’s arm so she doesn’t fall over. You feel your face grow red, and you’re surprised to see that you actually feel jealous. Whatever she said must’ve been really hilarious.

Suddenly, Ellie stops walking and holds out her hand. “What. The. Fuck.”

You look across the way and see the guy who was hitting on you yesterday talking to a girl who looks about 14.

“Holy shit! Is that David?” Jesse steps forward.

“Yeah. It fucking is.” Ellie crosses her arms and scoffs. “And look who he’s talking to.”

This time, Dina steps up, her jaw dropped. “You’ve gotta be fucking shitting my dick.” Even from knowing her only two days, you can tell she never cursed like that, so it must be serious.

“Dina, who is that?” You ask her.

She answers you, but doesn’t look at you. She just keeps staring at the scene playing out in front of her. “That’s one of the damn kids I babysit. Practically my own sister. And fucking pedo David is talking to her.”

“Wait, what makes him a pedophile?” You ask, looking between the three of them.

“He’s been caught talking to girls who are reallyyyy young. Like, even though he’s 17, that’s still fucked up.” Dina answers. “Not just normal talking too. Like, full on crazy shit. Keeps telling them they’re special.”

You shudder and turn to look at him again.

“Yknow. I wouldn’t be surprised if he turned out to be a cannibal too.” Jesse states and looks at you.

Ellie huffs, unfolding her arms, “Follow me.”

You three speed walk behind Ellie as she makes a beeline straight towards David and the little girl. Dina and Jesse are muttering about how they don’t think this is a good idea, which makes you curious as to what the hell Ellie’s going to do to him.

“Who’re you talkin’ to, David?” Ellie asks in a sing song voice, which actually makes her sound way scarier.

He turns around and throws his arms up, immediately annoyed at Ellie for ruining his creepy actions yet again. “What the fuck do you want, Ellie.”

She puts her hands on her hips, “Don’t make me repeat myself. Who the fuck are you talking to?”

Shit.. you really shouldn’t be thinking about this right now, but that was really hot. You glance at the girl and she looks visibly relieved she’s not talking to him anymore, which says a lot. Ellie and David continue arguing while Dina comforts the girl and tries to pull her away from the situation.

“Ohhhoho shit.” Jesse says and points to Ellie slowly taking a few steps back from David while she’s still talking to him, which makes him follow her.

“What’s going on?” You ask him.

He shakes his head, “Just watch.”

“Cmere, David. Pretty boy like you got nothin’ to lose.” Your blood would boil at what she said, but it’s pretty obvious she’s faking it. Well, obvious to everyone but him.

She beckons him to follow her into a small hallway which nobody’s paying attention to. If there was one thing about Ellie, it’s that she could get anyone to do whatever she wanted.

You and Jesse subtly walk closer to them so you can listen. David’s so entranced by Ellie he’s not paying attention to anything else.

Ellie twirls a lock of her hair around her fingers, looking up at him, trying to appear cute and innocent. “Yknow I thought they were all just rumors.. but, I guess it’s true.” She looks him up and down, and makes it obvious she’s looking at his crotch.

He smiles at her, “What?”

She pretends to think, and gently holds his hand with both of hers, “Hmmm..” She looks away bashfully. You almost laugh at how oblivious he is. “Oh, I shouldn’t say..” she eggs him on.

“Nah, quit playin’. Just tell me.” He’s actually grinning so wide, he looks like he’s in a candy store. Does he really think people are raving about his dick that much?

Ellie’s face falls flat in a second, “I guess it’s true that you’re a fucking pedophile.” And she swiftly twists his hand in one motion, and you hear a crack.

Your eyes grow wide and he yells and curses at her, falling to his knees on the floor. She just taps her foot impatiently, waiting for him to shut up so she can talk.

“You’re gonna go and tell that little girl’s parents what you were doing. Everyone saw you, and now everyone can hear you screaming in pain.” She actually laughs. “There’s no hiding now, David.”

He looks up at her and yells, “WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT ME TO TELL THEM!??”

“Tell them that Ellie is the girl who broke your fucking finger.”

And then she walks away.

~

Ellie drives the four of you to her house to hangout, you try texting your parents you’ll be home for dinner, but you’re honestly not sure. And it’s only Wednesday. As soon as you get there your jaw drops, this place looks like it’s out of a damn movie.

“Wow, Ellie. Your house is really nice.” You say, not looking away from it.

“I know right.” She smirks at you.

Dina leans in and whispers to you, “Make sure you check out her dad. Damn, he’s hot.”

You guys walk in and her dad immediately greats you. He’s holding a small chihuahua and it’s almost comical considering how big and muscular he is.

“Hey, Mr. Miller. This is Cady.” Dina motions towards you. He shoots you a little finger gun and puts the dog down.

“Jus’ wanna tell yah.. if yah need anythin’ don’t be shy, okay? No rules in this house. I’m not like a regular dad. I’m a cool dad.” He winks and turns toward Ellie, “Right, baby girl?”

She’s leaning against the counter. Her face is completely blank as she shuts him down immediately, “Please stop talking.”

Ellie leads you all upstairs to her massive ass room. You thought the outside was impressive, but this is crazy.

“This is your room?” You spin around.

Ellie sits down to take off her shoes. “Mhmm. It was Joel’s room… but I made him trade me.”

You take off your shoes too and look around. There’s pillows, posters, and pictures everywhere that are just adorable. You can see a selfie printed out of the three of them that Dina took.

“Hey, someone put on Take On Me.” Ellie says.

Ellie takes off her little pink cardigan. You don’t mean to stare, but how could you not? Her bare arms are so toned and defined..

She snaps you out of your trance, “Cady, do you even know who sings this?”

“Umm.. Weezer?”

She looks you up and down slowly. She sure loves doing that. “Ugh I love her. She’s like a martian.” She says to Dina.

Jesse walks over to a bookshelf and picks up a hot pink book. It’s the size of a photo album. “Holy shit, I forgot about this.” He laughs.

Ellie glances over to look at what he’s holding. “Damn. Haven’t touched that thing in forever.”

“Look at this, Cady. It’s our burn book.” Dina motions you over to look at it. “See, we would cut out pictures from the yearbook and write little comments.”

Jesse starts reading, “Abby Anderson has sex in boats.”

“Still true.” Ellie chimes in.

“Owen Moore is a fat virgin.” Dina reads.

Ellie snorts. “Still half true.”

She sighs and looks at you. You’re immersed in the burn book and yet, you can immediately feel her eyes on your skin. You look up at her. She has a completely different look in her eyes. Her stance isn’t as strong, she’s fidgeting with her fingers, and her eyes are glossy. She looks almost.. vulnerable.

You keep looking at her, puzzled, when she walks over to you and takes your arm. She’s gentle this time, opposed to when she did the same thing to look at your bracelet when you first met her. She leads you over to her ginormous closet. Dina and Jesse are still giggling at the burn book, they don’t even notice you two left. She steps closer to you.

“We need to get you some new clothes.” Ellie says. But her voice is lower and not as loud as when she usually talks. You try your best to control your breathing, you swear you could get off on just her voice alone.

It’s that weird stage or moment in time. Where you’re not entirely sure if the other person is feeling and thinking the same things as you. It makes you nervous, especially because you haven’t done this kind of thing a lot before. And especially because it’s Ellie fucking Williams.

She steps even closer to you. “Fuck. Needa help you out with clothes.” She mutters. You can barely hear her, she may as well be talking to herself.

She calls Jesse and Dina over with a few snaps of her fingers. “Can you two go make the four of us some drinks. Virgin margaritas.” She turns towards you. You’re just inches away from her face. You’re way too close. “Cady, what do you like?” She asks, making direct eye contact with you. “Lemon lime?” She asks, furrowing her eyebrows almost like she’s pouting, before you can answer her.

Jesse nods and heads out of the room. Dina gives Ellie a weird look, but pulls out her phone to look up recipes and follows Jesse downstairs.

You wait a few moments before you stop hearing footsteps on the stairs, then attempt to ask Ellie what’s going on, “Ellie, why-“

She cuts you off before you can finish, like how she always does. Usually it annoys you, but right now it’s different. Right now it means that she’s really the one in charge. She reaches up and fiddles with the collar of your shirt.

“Cmere, baby. I like you.. okay? You’re cute.” You weren’t sure if she was talking about you platonically or romantically. Her tone was so casual, like she was talking about what to have for dinner, and yet the way she was caressing you made your knees weak. Well, you weren’t sure until she pulls you in by the shirt and smashes her lips against yours.

You immediately gasp and whimper at the action, and become embarrassed at how inexperienced you are. But she fucking loves it, kissing you deeper and unbuttoning a few buttons at the top of your shirt. When she uses her tongue, it’s over. You moan into her mouth and your hands desperately grab at her. She laughs and you can feel the same shit eating grin she gave you when you first met her.

You break away, suddenly remembering that Dina and Jesse are downstairs and could be back any minute. “You sure they’re gonna be gone long enough?” You didn’t know how far she wanted to go… but you could guess.

She nods. “I’m sure. Between the two of them, yeah. Jesse doesn’t know how to make anything and Dina’s gonna spend at least 15 minutes making it perfect after she finds a recipe. Plus they’ll probably both spend another 7 or so minutes arguing wether they should really make it virgin or not. And my dads playing one of his shooter games. Trust me, having a big house comes in handy.” She leans in closer to you, “In any case, with how good I’m gonna make you feel, you won’t be lasting very long.”

And with that she immediately starts making out with you again. It’s sloppy and desperate and not something you would expect from Ellie. But this vulnerable side just seems so much more like her. You pull at her hair, and she fucking moans, the slutty sound sending heat straight down to your pussy.

You pull away again, and she looks up at you like she’s about to cry if she doesn’t touch you. You shakily nod and she bites your neck hard. Thank god you’re wearing a high collar button up.

“Fuck, Ellie.” You yelp, a little too loud, so she shuts you up by soothing the bite marks with her wet tongue. You whine for more, trying any way you can to pull her closer.

She hits a particularly sensitive spot, you gasp and open your eyes. You remember where you are, and look around in her closet. It’s a decent sized walk-in one. Everything’s sorted by color and style. Gorgeous shoes are on racks on the side. A nice fancy chaise is in the middle. You see a few name brand purses throughout. Between Ellie’s teeth and your envy for her life, you feel on fire.

“You always get what you want.” You seethe through your teeth.

“Shut your fucking mouth. Right now is about you.” She pulls away from your neck and reaches straight down to your jeans. She pauses, looking at you to ask for permission. You gulp, nodding to tell her you want her to. She unbuttons your pants and lets them fall down your legs just a little bit, to give herself better access to your panties.

She pulls those down too, and places two fingers to where you’re wet. She gasps, and you cover your face with your hands. “Shit, no.” She pulls down your arms with her non dominant hand, and quickly places a kiss on your cheek. “You’re not gonna hide from me, baby.”

You nod, swallowing. You can feel her making circles around you, wanting to push in. “Please, Ellie.” You beg. You’ve never sounded more desperate in your life.

With one swift motion she pushes two fingers inside you, and pushes you back so that you land against the wall. You gasp and are about to retort, but you accidentally cut yourself off with a moan as Ellie starts pumping her fingers in and out of you. Her other hand is up against the wall above you. You whimper as she picks up pace, this kind of stuff only happens in fiction. You don’t want to cover your face again, so you try turning away from her. She immediately grabs your chin with her spare hand and forces you to face her. “You better look at me when I’m fucking you.” She stares directly into your eyes.

You moan at how rough and fucking gentle she is at the same time. You don’t know why you’re surprised, but you can tell she wants you to enjoy this. Thinking about it, this actually doesn’t benefit her in any way. She’s not the one getting off. In fact, she’d be in major shit if anyone walked into the room.

With each passing second, she’s getting faster. Picking up her pace and making no attempt to be quiet, grunting in your ear. You look down and see her tattoo flexing as she uses her whole arm to fuck you.

“Yeah, you’re gonna fucking cum onto my fingers like you know what’s good for yah. Making a fucking mess on me, shit. So wet, dollface.” She mutters through her teeth. You knew she loved to talk, but she especially loves to talk when she’s making you feel so good.

Just a few more sentences and you’re coming undone, your legs shake and she has to hold your hip to keep you in place.

“Uuugh.. mm. ‘M gonna cum, Ellie.”

“Fucking give it to me.” She huffs out and curls her fingers up into you. Immediately white hot pleasure takes over you. You’re cumming on her fingers just how she wanted. She’s still holding onto you, making sure you don’t fall as she fucks you through your orgasm. She’s fucking magical, making your orgasm last as long as she can, until your eyes are rolling back and you’re whining that it’s too much.

You’re finally able to slow down your breathing and take in what just happened. God, that was good. So much better than when you fucked yourself to the thought of her.

Ellie brings the two fingers she used on you up to her mouth and sucks on them. She even makes eye contact with you until she’s done cleaning them. Your jaw was already on the floor. Now it’s 6 feet below.

You hear Jesse say “Fuck” from downstairs, so you quickly pull your pants back up and button up your shirt in a mirror. Ellie fixes her hair and walks out of the closet, meeting Jesse and Dina as they come into the room.

“She spilled one.” Jesse says, nodding towards Dina who’s holding a tray of now three margaritas.

“Are they actually virgin?” Ellie crosses her arms.

“For once, yeah.” Dina says. “So. Who’s not getting one?”

You practically march out of the closet, “I want it. I’m fucking thirsty.” You greedily grab the drink from off the tray and take a large sip. All three of your friends are staring at you, and you bring it down from your lips. “What! Trying on clothes gets tiring okay?” You whine.

“Fuck it. ‘S my house. I’m getting one.” Ellie says.

“And I’m not the one who spilled it.” Jesse sticks his tongue out at Dina, who rolls her eyes.

The four of you sit down on the couch in Ellie’s room. You’re sitting next to Ellie, she crosses her legs and puts her arm around you.

Dina and Jesse give her a look, but she handles it so smoothly, you swear she’s prepared for anything. “Fuck it, you’re officially part of our group now. Gon’ stay by my side longer than just the rest of the week.” She announces, lightly punching you in the arm.

Jesse holds up his drink, “To Cady?” He prompts, looking between you and Ellie.

She nods, holding hers out to meet Jesse’s. You bring yours up too. “To Cady!” All four of you say, and Dina squeals and claps her hands.

You look over to Ellie. She’s still holding you in her arm, she smiles softly, grabs your side and brings you in a little closer.

𓆟. ° .• .𓆝 .• ° . 𓆟 . ° .• .𓆞

[sergle]

People are failing to realize that clothing, and cameras for that matter, can be fairly deceptive. I don't wanna say deceptive because it carries a certain connotation, but I hope you'll know what I mean. I look fairly "thin/avg" with a shirt on, but without it it's rolls and folds lol

Furthermore, it's wild to assume someone who's pretty passionate about accurate plus-size rep would be stick thin. Maybe their metric of "average" is skewed or something, but it's still weird to just show up in a strangers Asks and assume things about them and their bodies.

sorry for answering an ask about this like 4 days later but I'M STILL THINKING ABOUT THIS... this person is talking about these asks btw.

FIRST OF ALL, thank you so much for the ask, it really is good to know that other ppl are aware of the Covering Of Fat With Clothing. Like. hi. my body is obscured. people are just noticing my torso for the first time bc there isn't 5lbs of breast tissue hanging off of it. SECOND OF ALL. This is still making me insane. I am still thinking about it so I'm gonna completely just do a brick of text to talk about it. Like, there's the first part of this, right? The fact that, all of these people who were sending asks like these, are the same people who came to my account because they liked the body positivity stuff or they related to the proportions of the girls I draw, right? And yet somehow managed to miss that ALL OF MY ART IS ME. So you're relating to MY body, AGREEING that this is plus sized art, then turning towards moi and saying, okay but you're skinny though. HUH? HMM??? I literally made a 12-part series of self portraits that have been like, my most seen, most stolen, reposted, enjoyed, stolen again, pieces. And I've been so crystal clear that these are literally me. Once again, I'm pointing at the aforementioned MATERIAL.

Pictured above: a thin, skinny woman who just happens to have large breasts, ig! And outside of those, which are *literal* self portraits, I've spoken lots of times before about how I make girls of a certain size and shape because I'm modeling them off myself. Or as close as I can get, depending on how good/bad I feel and if I took a photo to ref or not. It really couldn't be clearer that this is obviously me being self-serving, I do it when I feel like I need to see it. So the thing being implied here, or flat out accused in a handful of messages, is that I'm drawing fat girls forrr clout? AWESOME. I didn't want to dignify every message but that did seem to be the rough consensus. BUT I WANT TO TALK ABOUT THAT ONE TOO. WHEN would it become a bad thing for a skinny person to draw body positive art? In a positive light? Even if it was for clout? Am I going insane? That would be Good. It honestly might be even more meaningful than what I'm doing now. If I was actually 115 pounds soaking wet, if I looked like that one girl from ANTM with the like 14 inch waist, and I was out here making the exact same art, would that make the art LESS meaningful to other fat girls? That someone who doesn't have this body type or relate to it at all found it beautiful enough to draw it so many times, treating the subject with respect? Fat people being the subject of art again? The cycling of a trend that's been gone too long? That is, I thought, what we've literally been begging to see. I have been thinking about this. And finally, the last part of it that's been vexing and haunting me:

Is it supposed to be my responsibility that someone gets dysmorphic LOOKING AT ME. HUHHHH. On the art account where I draw a lot of Me. HUH. I was meant to anticipate this? Looking at pictures of me. And that makes you feel dysmorphic. and that is my fault. I'm just double checking. On the account where I draw bodies that I relate to, that you followed because you relate to. And then seeing me. Makes you dysmorphic. Whew. Got it.

I'm putting a bow on my insane winding ramble about this. Or at least trying to, now. It is wild to have my body commented on so much. This year, bc of the breast reduction, comments on my body have increased a hundredfold. Positive, negative, passive aggressive, predatory, all of the ways it can go. There was a really obvious way to rebuff these particular comments, which would be to post a picture of myself where my body ISN'T mostly obscured. But hey, those aren't free. The art will have to do for now. I wouldn't be that surprised if half the messages were jokes meant to see if I'd post pics "proving" that I look how I look. I also thought briefly about like, what if my body did change that drastically? Would some ppl's immediate reaction be betrayal, disgust, anger? I've been sick in my life before and lost weight at alarming speeds. But I've still been fat all my life. I've gotten sick and gained weight at alarming speeds. Does my presence as a "body positive artist" mean that my body gets to be put on trial anytime it changes? Does the switch flip from "your fat art means so much to me" to "you're not in the club anymore, since you got rid of your breasts, you look different"

Anyway I thought it would be funny to draw a thin girl "drawing" a scrap sketch I already have on hand. And imagining someone's response being fully negative, bc a thin person drawing fat ppl would be somehow dishonest lmao. Look how evil this bitch is. Her body doesn't match her art.

[gojoest]

How do you make friends on this app anymore??? I’ve been here a long time (since 2012) and left for a while. I’m back but all my friends from here have moved on. I’ve been trying to talk to others (I.e comment on their posts, reblog things, send asks and jump in dms) but it doesn’t seem to stick. I really wonder if it’s me??

I’m getting tired of reaching out all the time and not seeing the enthusiasm I try to give. Idk. The whole thing just bums me out.

I like seeing your posts and that you’re just enjoying yourself in silly fandom things. It really brings me back to the old days.

I just hope you never lose your whimsy and joy. Fandom ridiculousness hasn’t changed but at least there are still people who enjoy themselves. I hope you continue to do so.

i am sorry you’re feeling this way : ( coming back to a space that used to feel familiar only to have it not quite click anymore : ( but i totally get you! i have been here for quite a while and i can tell that the vibe on this app has changed, i promise it’s not you! i think it’s mainly bc ppls engagement habits have changed a lot and it’s no longer as easy to find those old fandom rhythms anymore :,)

i can’t say i’m super skilled at making friends here tbh, i am kind of the opposite of you bc i usually shy away from reaching out to ppl here :,) but somehow i ended up making a few really unexpected but incredibly close friends along the way idek how that happened, it just did. i think just like in real life the connections here are often unexpected so i don’t rly look for them but rather let them happen if they’re meant to be? if that makes sense

i am really glad that my silly posts feel like a little time machine for you 🥹 i don’t plan on giving up the whimsy anytime soon! and i hope we can talk more 🤍 also, your feelings are totally valid, it does get a bit exhausting when things start to feel one sided… but please be gentle with yourself 🤍

[i-want-my-iwtv]

(Cont'd from here)

Anon asked:

5. Is a possible interpretation of the ending that Louis&Lestat are working together again? Lestat said he could go out again if he had Louis but Louis said he had to go. Lestat then somehow ends up going after the guy that Louis was just talking to? Obvi not a coincidence so maybe he's just following Louis…but what if he's doing what he said? He's going out again bc he has Louis. Louis set up Malloy; or at least did so only after his reaction to his story? Maybe a stupid theory lol. ^2/3 anyway, sorry to come at you with all these questions, I just can't find answers anywhere else. Loved the movie and would just like to understand it better. I also think Louis&Lestat could be working together again because if Louis has resigned to killing people to survive, which is all Lestat ever really wanted him to be, is there any real reason they can't be in eachother's lives anymore? Thank you so much for any time you can give me and my questions lol! ^3/3

No worries, these are interesting questions!

I mean, that's an interesting thought, that Louis set Daniel up for Lestat to feed on... 👀 Could be true, but based on the script and the books, and the fact that Louis never hunted with Claudia... (Louis does hunt with Lestat or other vampires on occasion later in canon) but I don't think Louis would send an innocent victim out for Lestat to kill*.

I think in the movie version of the story, my interpretation was that:

Lestat had been following Louis for a while.

When Louis and Daniel went indoors, Lestat crawled into the open backseat of Daniel's car, conveniently parked nearby. This way, he could listen to them talk (the window was open!) and it put Lestat in place for acquiring the tapes of the interview afterward (and the car! And some human blood!).

In the movie's timeline, Louis had visited Lestat in NOLA (we don't know when, but based on Louis's clothing, it looks like late '80's or early '90's) and then left him there...

We don't know how much time passed until he met with Daniel, San Francisco looks like the late '80's or early '90's, too.

So maybe Lestat went to great effort to track Louis down to San Francisco and followed him, still wounded but desperate to reconnect with Louis when he had revived with more strength.

I also think Louis&Lestat could be working together again because if Louis has resigned to killing people to survive,

Yes, Louis seemed to get over his issues with killing ppl when Claudia entered the picture, she never saw him eating rats.

Maybe he wanted to set a good example for her, or maybe he just finally agreed, having tried to kill her, that human blood is more nutritious for vampires... we don't know! Lestat makes some snip at Louis about eating rats in front of Claudia and he tells her it was a long time ago, before she was born, and "I don't recommend them," with this little slurp to amuse her:

because if Louis has resigned to killing people to survive, which is all Lestat ever really wanted him to be, is there any real reason they can't be in eachother's lives anymore?

But no, Louis & Lestat aren't clearly back together again at the end of the '94 movie, but at least Lestat is mostly revived by the very end, there's hope that he's going to be his old vibrant self in a new age, and maybe even turn Daniel! I don't know what the plan was for the next movie, but there was a sequel planned for a long time, the movie rights eventually expired. The more book-focused fans might say that Louis enjoys his space and doesn't need a constant lover, and that Lestat is somewhat of a manwhore who struggles with monogamy (maybe partly BECAUSE he can't get Louis to commit to him, so he goes out looking for love surrogates), but he always pines for Louis. Now matter how hard you ship Louis and Lestat you will never ship Louis and Lestat as hard as Lestat does. [X][X @high-fructose-lesbianism]

The more book-focused fans in VC fandom generally agree that Louis gave the interview in order to get his story out, and if Lestat was still alive, it could provoke him enough to come out of hiding** bc maybe Louis still has feelings for Lestat, but killing people was not the only reason they couldn't be in each other's lives. Louis suffered in the dynamic they were in during the 65 years together in IWTV. There's been a lot of writing on it over the years but most book-focused fans agree there was some level of abuse from Lestat to Louis (and Claudia), whether emotional, verbal, and/or physical. Lestat threatened them both with harm at different times, and he had been very secretive, which created frustration for Louis and Claudia about their nature as vampires, and even if Lestat did all this out of fear for their safety, or worry that they might leave him, or any other reasons, it was still Not Great, not something Louis would want to throw himself back into so easily!

If you read the books, Louis/Lestat has a tension as a ship that continues throughout, and Anne Rice basically tried to have them finally together in the last book. She had teased us about a L/L wedding over the years, and that never went through in canon. 😭💗

**And in the Vampire Lestat, Lestat does rise and he wants to join a rock band, when he tells them his name, they thought it was marvelous that he was pretending to be the vampire Lestat:

*In canon, Louis kills random people, so that he's not responsible for judging them as deserving of death, even murderers can serve their time and return to society! If Louis gets to know a victim at all, he has too much empathy for them to kill them. However, canonically and in the '94 movie, Lestat kills evildoers, it stems from him saving his village from wolves when he was alive, when he was praised for protecting the villagers and the livestock from those terrorizing wolves. It justifies his need as a vampire to kill, while also making him a kind of hero bc he's protecting the innocent ppl from the evildoers.

Killing evildoers takes more effort in some ways, bc Lestat has to read their minds first or see them be criminals in order to be sure they're really evil, but he enjoys it! Sometimes he spends weeks, months, years pursuing a victim.

Anyway, since Daniel's not shown in the '94 movie or canon to be an evildoer, I don't think Louis would feed him to Lestat.

[thegamingcatmom]

Hello <3 Listen I've started playing re8 and i've had my first encounter with the Dimitrescu family and I am here wondering why the hell didn't I play this sooner so I could obsess over this even sooner, but oh well. So I know you're cooking up a story where they meet the Denalis and I was like walking through the castle and my mind started asking questions. So ofc I imagine you don't wanna give away details of your story because then you wouldn't be able to tease us with lil spoilers and where's the fun in that, right? ;P So instead lemme write down what came to my mind and ask your opinion on that, let's dive into my delulu-land vision XD Tbh is nothing like super elaborated bc you know just rnadom throughts that came to mind so bear with me bc it probably makes 0 sense ok? SO it made me think like in a more kind of "modern" set up, where the Denalis are already vegetarians, they've lived a veeery long life, yk kind of like things are in the Twilight movies/books. In my mind it was like for X reason they were moving from Denali to another place to live, be because the Volturi, bc they had been exposed and therefore they need to gtfo before shit hits the fan (I blame the drones if that's the reason tho) IDK it could be literally any reason, it is unimportant. They somehow end up finding the castle, they meet this vampires who are like super different from them (In my mind I think is cool they can eat human food and sleep and shit eve n though perhaps they don't need it so I'd probs keep that for all vamps in any possible story but that's out of the question XD) and they ofc live very differently from them, the castle ofc doesn't mantain itself, so they have ppl working there for them and they probs dispose of them as soon as they stop being useful, they drink human blood, they make a game out of their hunts and seem to enjoy the pain they inflict before actually drinking the blood. Meanwhile the Denalis started drinking animal blood to stop killing the humans they slept with (With other reasons in the mix too but in the end it was to rpeserve human life) and they've lived away from humans, living in secret and all that shit, like is two complete different worlds they live in. Now all that to make this questions: Say Lady D offered them a place to stay in the castle for reasons unknown bc I hadn't actually thought about it tbh, I don't think she'd mind if they kept their boring vegetarian lifestyle, but they have a choice now to keep it or instead go back to human blood, which honestly seems more tasty and the better option, do you think they'd take it? Would they agree and stay in the castle? Would they leave? Idk f there would be any consequences if they decide to leave though, and in case of staying what about the coven itself? I mean Tanya's the leader, but it matters little I think her title in the castle bc I am not sure if Lady D gives a duck about it honestly, it's her castle after all(?) And final question I promise: How do you think they would adapt to this "new life" in the case they accept Lady D's offer of staying? You think someone might have more of a hard time with it? Will they talk/argue about it among themselves? Consider their options? I have a feeling that Tanya would not take any offer without speaking first to her coven, they are family after all and whatever they do will affect all of them, so yeah. Also this probably makes no sense as I stated before, it was a bunch of random thoughts that I poorly put together so yk don't feel like you gotta answer to all that nonsense XD And I still have not finished the game, just barely started it so idk, perhaps I'm missing some important lore, or something is inadequate, anyway thanks for reading my delulu-bible and for recommending me to go play the game <3 <3 Have a nice day :D

...Oh?

We´re simping for both camps now?

I love how, after having only just reached their section (apparently), this is the result. As in: The Dimis got their sickles hooked in you alright, LMAO.

Can´t say I´m surprised. *cough cough*

Like-

(Simping starts in 3...2...1...)

This was ALL of us when the game was only just coming out and Lady D was revealed in the Maiden Demo. It was madness, lemme tell you. The memes, the art, the fics my god-

The fics were smt else. And they just kept coming. They still do. Lady D destroyed the internet like no other video game character before. People kept dying in game just so they could stick around Castle Dimitrescu for a bit longer (preferably forever).

Like, this was the majority of ppl playing the game:

Lady D: *begins stalking you*

Ethan (you): *heart-eyes*

Lady D: *stalks closer*

Ethan (you): *heart-eyes*

Lady D: *unsheathes her claws*

Ethan (you): *dreamy smile*

Lady D: *takes one giant swipe at you that nearly beheads you*

Ethan (you), barely alive: "...F-Fancy stepping on me too?"

.

It was truly a time to be alive.

(You should check out some reactions to Lady D on Youtube, especially Markiplier. 💀)

I mean, LISTEN-

I dunno what Capcom was trying to accomplish with The Dimitrescus (they knew exactly what they were doing), but being stalked and hunted down by feral goth ladies and their equally as feral Momma because they thirst for your blood (and hopefully mayhaps other things) is pretty much a dream come true for most ppl. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Capcom, were you even trying? Honestly.

.

Okay anyhow-

I love your thoughts on this. Especially because it´s a lot more serious than what I originally came up with, lmao. Like, this thing I got cooking rn is pretty much a total crack fic (for now). Yknow, stuff like portals and time travel and whatnot seems entirely possible there, but I haven´t reached that part yet (the explaining part), so it´s still rather unclear how they got to the castle.

Like, it never occured to me that the Denalis might just find the "real" village in Romania (which is where the game is set). But now that I´m reading your thoughts on it, this seems pretty plausible to me. Defo something I can see happening. With that said:

Lemme start by giving some canon info (which hopefully won´t spoil anything for you):

the Dimis aren´t actual vampires

they are what they are because of a parasite aka The Cadou

they need to sustain themselves on human flesh and blood because of it (for survival & to maintain their powers)

Lady D will grow to the point she mutates out of control if she doesn´t (I´ve read that somewhere)

the Daughters are made entirely of flies

those flies will die if exposed to the cold (yet another thing that´s entirely different from Twilight vampires, who can only be fully destroyed through fire)

Lady D has no such "weakness"

the pain they inflict upon their victims is not necessary for feeding

they just enjoy being cruel

they turn their staff into wine at some point

or use them for experiments ("Moroaicǎ")

With all of that said: I totally agree that it´s a clash of two entirely different worlds. But that´s what makes it so interesting.

I also kinda HC that The Dimis see vampires as some kind of role models? In a way? Like, they clearly enjoy this lifestyle (a bit too much), so I feel like meeting some actual vampires - the real deal - would be like meeting a popstar or smt. At least to the daughters. (Dani would swoon.)

Lady D would be a lot more skeptical about it ofc, but there´s no way she would be able to hide her curiosity. I mean, how many beings pose an actual threat to them? Not that many. Which means Lady D would be quite hostile at first. She got her daughters to think of as well, after all. There would be the usual threats of "slice you to ribbons" and such, until she realizes-

There are no ribbons. And there won´t be. Because her claws are actually kinda useless against them.

As are the flies the daughters are made of. There´s no piercing that skin.

That´s never happened before.

That´s when it dawns on them that whatever they´re up against isn´t entirely human. The fact they (the Denalis) lack a heartbeat or the usual warmth is kinda telling as well.

In fact, the Daughters don´t enjoy being near them at all. They´re so cold!

But, you see-

The Daughters might keep their distance (for now).

But Lady D is more than intrigued at this point.

Listen, that woman is a sucker for power. That´s why she´s got the hots for Mother Miranda (MM), after all.

Well that, and because MM is fine af, obv.

(I don´t blame you, Alci.)

Anyway-

If she saw the Denalis wielding their vampiric powers and, yknow, posing an actual challenge for her in terms of brute strength because it´s not every day she meets someone who´s actually able to lift her- (can you imagine?)

Ofc she´s gonna want to get to the bottom of it all. Because she´s also a bit of a nerd, you see. Just like Momma. (They both fine af.) She´s gonna want to study them, write down every little detail in that notebook of hers.

Kate´s power is gonna fill page upon page as Lady D goes completely mad scribbling it all down like-

With that said:

Yes, I defo think Lady D would demand invite them to stay. She´s nothing if not a gracious hostess to those she deems worthy.

.

As for the Denalis-

Tanya would never make decisions without discussing it with her coven first. Not those that could be life-altering, at least. They'd only stay if everyone agreed to it. And, even then, I'm not sure it would be a permanent stay. I mean-

It's difficult.

I'd say it depends "which" Denalis we're talking. If we take the more deranged ones from my story (The Sisters) then I can defo see them agreeing to a permanent stay in the castle. Human life means next to nothing to them, aside from being their food source ofc. And while they might not agree with everything that's happening in the castle (some of the things going down in the cellar are...tough, even for them), they'd never judge the Dimis for their lifestyle, seeing how they're far from being saints themselves. One as corrupted as the other, I´d say.

If we take the veggie/modern Denalis, on the other hand-

I mean, the sisters killed ppl before. Loads of them probs. Therefore, the Dimis sustaining themselves on human blood and flesh isn't as appalling to them as it would be to your usual human. But it's how they do it (torturing their victims and basically getting the most out of it before they deliver the final blow) that makes them feel...conflicted. Most of their kind (as in: actual vampires) usually don´t draw it out longer than necessary. Mainly because they´ll succumb to their bloodlust almost immediately, sucking their victim dry in a matter of seconds. That (thankfully) doesn´t leave much room for any kind of torture.

With that said-

It´s still difficult, lmao.

I feel like our modern Denalis would defo be intrigued by the Dimitrescus. Then they´d be appalled. Then Lady D comes in with all that charm of hers, laying it on real thick yknow, basically downplaying the things that are happening in that castle full of blood and death. Then the daughters come in with their buzzing personalities. Then the Denalis would be intrigued again. And so on-

And before you know it, years have passed.

That´s the only way I can see our modern Denalis stay in that castle over an extended time period. Cause time works just differently for vampires, yknow. Years are like seconds to them. All one and the same. Doesn´t really matter. Not when you got eternity anyway.

.

Now, that was pretty much me rambling and fangirling without any kind of order, lol. So lemme try and give some more direct answers:

Would the Denalis switch to human blood during that time?

I think that´s entirely possible. That castle is pretty much filled with human blood - it´s everywhere: In the cellar, in the kitchen, in the storage rooms, in the wine glasses, etc. It lurks around every corner, constantly putting our sisters to the test. It´s like waving a piece (more like a bar) of chocolate in front of someone who´s been living on dry toast. Resisting becomes almost impossible under such conditions.

And the Dimis know that.

Am I suggesting that Lady D and her unruly daughters might try and seduce the Denalis back to human blood by deliberately leaving it out in the open, ripe for the taking?

Why yes, yes I am. That´s totally something the Dimis would do in order to gain numbers (and other things).

Would there be any consequences if the Denalis decided to leave?

As I said before, the Denalis pose an actual threat/challenge to Lady D. Neither her nor her daughters could do much to stop them from leaving, if they decided to do so. Doesn´t mean they wouldn´t try though. Lady D is a narcissist and rejection isn´t something she handles well. Her daughters share that sentiment.

"So you don´t love me?!"

Yup. That´s totally smt Dani would say in that situation. The poor baby.

Anyhow-

The Dimis would probs try to stop them because rolling over just isn´t in their nature. But I´d like to think one of the following things would happen then:

A) The Denalis use their vampiric charm to convince the Dimis to let them go without a fight.

B) Lady D puts a stop to things herself once she realizes the only ones to get hurt during this would be her daughters and herself. (She´d never admit that openly ofc.)

To sum it up:

Even if there were consequences, it´s highly unlikely the Denalis would be affected by them.

Would the Denalis adapt well to their new life? Would they struggle at all?

I think my fangirling pretty much answered that, lmao.

Unhinged Denalis: No problem with adapting. (More like they cba as long as they get their fill.)

Normal (modern) Denalis: Depends on the Dimis´ efforts I´d say. There´d defo be times of struggle and self-doubt. But then there´d also be times of "yknow what, why tf not". It´s a constant back and forth and it really depends on how well the Dimitrescus play their cards.

As for who might struggle the most:

Lemme start by saying Kate would struggle the least. I mean, the struggle would still be there, but she´s never been one to back down from a challenge. She´s also not one to shy away from the unknown - on the contrary: Out of the three of them, Kate is probs the one most likely to go "only one way to find out", YKNOW?? No risk, no fun, and all that. That´s why Cass and her get along so well. Whenever the two of them are together, the whole castle holds its breath.

Tanya would probs feel quite torn because, above all else, she has a duty to fulfill: ensuring the best possible outcome for her coven. So there´d be this constant nagging, telling her that all of this is kinda wrong and that, just mayhaps, it´d be better to haul ass. But then there´s time where she´s actually enjoying herself when she´s having "wine" with Bela, giving each other some advice on how to best handle their younger sibllings and such. That nagging fades for a while then. Until it´s back. But so is Bela. And that nagging fades again. And so on.

Irina would spend most of her time with Dani probs, gushing about finding true love and such. She sees a lot of herself in the youngest Dimitrescu daughter, albeit a lot more...unhinged, lol. They get each other, as crazy as it sounds. It also really helps taking her mind off things, makes her forget what´s going on in that castle. For a while, at least. Until the doubts start creeping back in. Dani notices though, she always does. And she´s always there to manipulate cheer her bestest friend up.

.

.

.

I hope I´ve managed to cover everything. Tbh, that was just me rambling most of the time, hoping it all would make sense along the way, lmao.

...Come to think of it, that´s pretty much my writing style. 💀

Thanks a lot for your ask! I really, really enjoyed that mashup. 🥰💋

Have a great day as well! ❤️

[pvlvsdog]

OH i just saw the post where you love WH, im literally the same, i had to study it as a mandatory reading and hareton heathcliff and arguably cathy first gen just became my lit crush, and i discovered the game haha… i haven’t done his canto tho :/ delaying it cuz of the rumours its not.. that great

Oh my!! I could yap about it for hours mate, ngl if you like wanna, I’m open to chatting about it (over discord or asks here or tumblr messages to the last ones tend to lowkey glitch for me hhh). Also you are so so real for the lit crush part. These ppl are unwell, but oh Gods, are they crush material hhhh

Im probably going over to my bfs after work today so I miiiight finish it and reblog it with (spoiler-free) feedback on how badly the things went. But like yeah, so far I’m kinda disappointed. Sure, I’m not saying they got to adapt everything one for one (like how in metamorphosis Gregor being a veteran is not that big of a plotline but they amplified it in the game to fit the setting better; in the end it worked out in their favour bc that helped them rely the themes of the book/character better while the story got to be more in line with the overall world they are building) bc I’m happy with 1970 WH as my perfect adaptation (as a Hindley and Frances enjoyer I gotta favour that movie hhhh they fed me GOOD). But even besides that. It’s like… so far they don’t seem fully committed to portraying the relationship between Heath and Cathy in the way they should. Like, it seems more shallow. The way that mr Earnshaw is written also leaves a lot to be desired because I think his treatment of all 3 kids could have been explored and it would add to what they were trying to do. But I’ve nearly finished the canto and there was not even a single sentence that would get into how he started the cycle that consumed the generations to come. It’s not a gripe that I have only bc it takes away from Hindley’s motivations (that too, but I didn’t start the canto expecting them to give him much, so honestly the bar was so low that I’m pretty happy with what I got), it genuinely would make the themes they attempted to use make more sense. I’m trying super hard not to spoil you but yeah, both when it comes to following the BARE MINIMUM of the essence of the story and making sinners make sense the story falls flat. Don’t get me wrong, I love the setting and the vibes, but it feels like they genuinely regretted that they picked WH as a character source and tried to write their story they wanted working against the provided text, not aiding their writing with it

Also you probably saw but personally, my absolute fave is Hindley. I can acknowledge his actions. I can also own up to being unwell about that man. Full on literature crush, kicking my feet, twirling my hair. Also I designed limbus!Frances bc she deserved a mention (I’m biased bc I love her and also she is literally me). There will be a post with her. Tho if you or anyone else wants to check out the extent of my focus on all the limbus WH characters, I got some content posted on godscomplex4 on insta hhhh lots of Heath. And Hindley and Frances. And my self insert hhhhh. Also I suppose if we’re talking about characters that had me giggling and underlining text in my book, Edgar somehow found his way into that category despite me fighting fiercely to shoo him away. It’s a bit ironic I’m more apprehensive about liking him than Hindley. But oh well. That confrontation scene had me a bit in shambles even if I don’t love his overall outlook on life as a person. He had his moments and I enjoyed them more than I would like to admit hhhh. Hindley stays as my beloved fictional wife tho

[sunsetsover]

hii miss your yapping! pls rant about first and khaotung actual relationship and how down bad first is!

it's so funny that i've got a couple of messages saying they like/miss my ranting bc as i'm writing them i'm always like 'omg lauren pleeeeease stfu no one gives a fuck 😭' so the fact that ppl not only enjoy it but miss it when im quiet is so wild to me. very sweet tho im very flattered <3

i feel like i don't have too much to say that hasn't been said before. i mean its like trying describe sunshine right? like it's something you have to experience and see for yourself to really get it. they adore each other. they carry such a beautiful love and respect for each other. and yes first is i guess more obvious about it - and i could go on a separate rant abt that too bc ik i've said it before but i think first has such a beautiful energy about him that is so rare and i've only ever seen in jungkook before. like first's inner child is so alive and present within him all the time but not only that, he's not afraid to express that and be in that childlike energy of just joy and happiness and not being afraid to overcome with emotion! to feel how he feels! cry or smile or express love and affection! and for that reason it's so easy to almost be blinded by how bright first's love and affection is for khaotung which means you overlook khaotung's love and affection for first. but where first's love is so loud and close to the surface, khao's is so deep. and it's quiet, but if you pay attention it's so obvious. they're really like yin and yang in that sense, you know? first love for khaotung is a kind of pulling from in front, whereas khaotung's love for first is a kind of pushing from behind. and i think that is so beautiful, to find someone who compliments you and your way of loving so thoroughly. like no matter how different their love might look or manifest itself, there is such an equilibrium there.

and you know i will say there are some things about their dynamic that did confuse me a little bit, esp in all the chaos of fanservice and stuff, but i did see someone on twitter point something out that made it all kind of click in my head the other day, and it was basically about first and khaotung's roles within their own families. khaotung is the eldest child and the 'man' of the family, whereas first is the middle child from a family of boys. i, personally, think that when you look at them in isolation that that knowledge makes their personalities as a whole make sense. but then when you look at them both together, i think you notice something beautiful happening: it almost seems as if first gives khaotung the space to not be the eldest child 'man of the house'. first gives him a place be immature and whine and pout, to be 'babied', to be taken care of. which, in hindsight, is probably why it always rubbed me the wrong way when people talked about how first was/is 'faking' something with how he acts with khaotung. like somehow bc first is sweet and goofy and a childlike in nature he can't also look after someone he loves? bc khaotung is mature and calm he can't also be petulant and needy? it's silly. and i saw a post on here the other day too that acc got cross posted to twt n the person was being dragged for basically saying first and khaotung are basically faking their dynamic and playing into heteronormativity w the way they've been behaving in the thk era which. not gonna get into it bc ur girl does NOT wanna start discourse but know it pissed me off sooooo bad lmfao

like sure there probably is a degree of playing it up for fanservice and stuff, but i truly think first just wants to be khaotung's safe place. he wants to carry some of his weight for him. and khaotung likes being babied and spoiled! shit! me too bitch! and first is more than happy to do it. and not only that, it's clearly just the way first is bc didn't he give mark a load of money so he could buy an ipad or smth? like first is clearly just a giver by nature. he's kind. he wants to help. and believe it or not, you can be sweet and a giver at the same time. and even as i'm typing this im realising it is very much reciprocal thing that ebbs and flows and changes as they as people change, and their relationship changes, and what they need changes. they seem to become what the other needs at that time. like from what i've seen back in the eclipse era for example, khaotung was a lot more protective and first did come a cross a lot more naive - esp w the disgusting jokes and khaotung making comments abt how first was taken advantage of by people. so it makes sense that khaotung came across a lot more mature and almost as if he was looking after/taking care of first. there's a v real chance that khaotung needed to be that person for first back then.

but that was four years ago. they were what, 21? 22? now they're 26. they've changed. their relationship and needs have changed. ofc the way they treat each other and behave around each other will have changed too. that doesn't mean that the way they were acting then was fake and it doesn't mean the way they're acting now is fake it's just different. because of course it is.

i guess the tldr is that i just think they compliment each other so wonderfully. in acting ofc but also just as people. like i don't know how else to put it other than, at least from my perspective, they have a beautiful equilibrium. it's like when one needs more the other gives more and vice versa. and that, at least to me, says that they really are in tune w each other and really do care abt each other deeply. like i really do think they have a 'when things are heavy for you i will carry some of your load, bc when things get heavy for me i know you will carry some of mine' kind of love. which i'm sure is like 'well yeah that's what any kind of healthy love should be like?' to many of you but some of us didn't have any examples of that growing up!

anyway im sorry it took me so long to get to this and im sorry this was probably not at all what you wanted or expected but ya girl had some things to get off her chest apparently lmao but yeah. they love each other. i love that for them <3

[golbrocklovely]

Twitter is trying to cancel SnC yet again I see.

If I were SnC I would literally just delete all my twitter profiles except for their channels twitter which I'd then use ONLY for promoting when new videos drop. Just so the twitter fans can learn that they aren't as important as they seem to think they are because those boys are nearly at 12 million subscribers on youtube, twitter is but a mere handful of that subscriber count so it really wouldn't matter if they all decided to stop watching.

(plus the video they're all angry at is actually performing very well, it's already at 2M views on just day 2 of releasing. This suggests a lot of the fandom may not share twitters opinions...)

i don't see snc deleting their twitters, but i do see them continuing to not use them and just letting them sit dormant bc that side of the fandom is too dramatic.

i've said my peace on this 100 times over, but i don't mind saying it again bc it keeps happening and no one over there is getting it lol

not that i'm telling them either since most of them i have blocked or they have me blocked lmao

that side of the fandom has cried wolf one too many times and now expects snc to still listen to them. and look, back in 2020/21, maybe that would have happened. bc twitter held a lot more stock back then. but not anymore. they thought they could call out snc for every little thing and expect them to always listen and for all of the fandom to agree. and reality is that just won't fly anymore.

were there genuine reasons to call them out before in the past (and even now)? sure. i'm not here to argue that. but what i am saying is once everyone jumped over the line in the sand and started getting mean and calling them out for nonsense things, idk what you expected to happen.

it's one thing to complain about content and what's going on in it or that it's taking too long to get new content out. it's another thing to bitch about their gfs and say they shouldn't date them, or in general to bring up personal shit.

where our input starts and ends is content related, and that's it. anyone that thinks they have a say in what snc do in their own personal lives are delulu. it doesn't matter if you believe you have their best interest in mind, your input is unwanted. that's just reality.

also i think a lot of ppl on twitter think they speak for everyone in the fandom but they fail to realize that this fandom has 12 mil ppl in it (roughly). even if one of the louder fans on there has a 1000 followers, that's not even 1% of the entire fandom. that's not even .01%. that's how little the amount of ppl you speak for.

my thing is, all of this complaining and drama started in january, around colby's bday, when the pics of them with the girls leaked. and since then, this fandom and that side in particular hasn't shut up since. and look, obviously not everything is about the girls and not everyone is even complaining about the girls. i'm not trying to cast wide nets here and assume. but… be honest: yall have been complaining for WEEKS about a variety of things, ranging from them having gfs that might be clout chasers to snc not talking about a genocide, and somehow…….. i'm supposed to take any of that seriously??? snc are supposed to take that seriously??? those are two VERY different things, no?

but hey, you wanna be upset at snc for whatever reason, be my guest. i'm not here to stop you. do whatever you want. but at what point do you just accept that snc aren't gonna meet your demands and thus your only option is to leave?? just curious. and are you okay with the fact that just bc you leave doesn't mean anyone is gonna miss you, including snc? harsh reality is snc don't know who you are, and that's not bc you don't deserve to be known - they just realistically don't know you, and you leaving isn't gonna do anything.

but if you aren't enjoying your time here, leave. it's better in the long run to pay attention to something that actually brings you happiness rather than stick around and be miserable.

[izzy-b-hands]

fanfic asks! 5, 8, and 14

Ella!!! Thank you for asking 🫂🫂

Putting this under a cut because I am a wordy motherfucker as ever and This Got Long, I'm So Sorry💖

5. What’s a fic idea you’ve had that you will never write?

Oh god. So Many fkldsjaflkdsjfa. I'll stop at twoish here, but pls know that if y'all want more for other fandoms, I can add to this post with more lmaoo, I love sharing these.

-There was one for LOTR that still sticks in my brain years since first having it: Sam suddenly leaving the Shire and wandering aimlessly, but refusing to settle anywhere.

Over the course of it, he would get help/care/concern from wherever he stopped with whoever remained in each location, but he would refuse to stay for more than a few days or accept more than like. Bare bones food/medical care/etc, leading to literally everyone he meets and of course his family and friends still in the Shire to go to Frodo to beg, plead with him.

One last adventure, because their grand adventure to save the world and destroy the ring changed Sam too, even if he never showed it as much. Don't let him go where no one else can follow, and bring him home.

Whether Frodo would or not was the bit that made me shelve the idea, bc I figured a lot of fans would not enjoy the potential avenue I was leaning towards, that he might hesitate only in that he isn't sure he can handle the journey himself.

That, and realising that the way my brain wanted to write it, it might well end with Frodo and Sam realising neither of them can bare to go back, and deciding to wander together until they'd either die or find elves sailing willing to take them to the Undying Lands.

-There's a whole bundle of Saints Row ideas, mostly Gat/Aisha/Boss and all fairly heavy in being AUs where Aisha lives and things go slightly differently for Gat in SR 3 &4 (I'd keep the aliens tho lmao, I want Aisha to get to go to space too dang it!!)

A lot of Gat realising that he keeps nearly losing the people closest to him that give him reason to live (Aisha and the Boss, tho of course the rest of the Saints as well to a slightly lesser extent), but that he doesn't know how to be anything else for them. He's a living weapon many a time, and is genuinely happy that way, but knows that it puts them in danger because he tends to always escalate things, even when later he can admit maybe shooting a motherfucker in the face over a Costco discount was actually not the best way to solve that issue. However, ultimately, The Boss can't seem to live any other way either, and he's accepted that he's at his happiest when he has both of them in his life, so he can't just up and cut with Aisha to a random suburb and leave the Boss behind. And Aisha, despite her contempt for a lot of it, during one of their Big Talks would admit that even if she dislikes what they do, she does enjoy the lifestyle and knows Boss and Gat would be losing their minds trying to adjust to any other life.

On that note, that's also a fic idea I'll probably never write for them lol, where they go straight and move away to somewhere entirely new with Gat and the Boss having to get actual 8-5 jobs (and maybe something remote for Aisha bc I know it would still be risky for her to ever leave the house but. Goddamn let her do something!! Talk to some other ppl!!!) and just. It's not going to last and they know it won't, all three of them, but they're also three of the stubbornest fucking people alive so. When it ends, it'll go up in flames for everyone around them until they're living in a way they find satisfying again.

8. What project(s) are you currently working on?

Somehow too many and not enough at the same time. That is, I'm having a lot of percolating ideas for new things and ways to continue current drafts for a few different fandoms, but none of it is making it down onto paper (without being deleted two minutes later at least lol.)

That said, a couple draft examples:

-an OFMD S2 fix it gentlebeard POV, Stede specifically, wherein the crew comes to visit and be their first official guests and it's...a lot for them. They both already feel the place isn't fixed up enough and then the crew comes in all jovial and essentially as one big happy polycule w/arms full of loot (actually gifts for Ed & Stede that are indeed looted, but my two lil goofballs gotta have their emotional moments before they get that info and realise that the crew isn't just trying to show off & make them feel shit for staying on land.)

This one is actually done and ends happily w/some actual communication between everyone involved, but it sits unpublished bc I think it might be too saccharine (also every time I dare to write for Ed/Stede I get shouted at even if they claim they liked it so. not exactly eager to court that reaction again even if I have anon off on everything lmao)

-May have already talked abt this in prior days but, a Frenchie/Ed s2 au in which Frenchie convinces Ed to let everyone else go, so long as Frenchie agrees to stay with him as his new first mate (read: his new Izzy bc while Izzy is v alive in this, he's also hidden away until Ed and Frenchie leave the Revenge lol.)

I haven't decided on a final avenue yet for this, but right now have been playing w/: Frenchie & Ed operating as a two man wrecking crew while they gather new crew and a new ship, meanwhile Jim, Archie, Fang, and Izzy are working to find Stede and everyone else to tell them how Frenchie has essentially given himself a suicide mission, and even if they agreed to it so they could initially get away, they sure as fuck aren't going to let him or Ed die as a result of all of this. Cut to them having some silly fumbling reunion (literal list of ideas for this, they're all not great, trust me when I say this bit needs more work yet lol), then following the trail of blood, bodies, and tears to find Frenchie and Ed. Who, during all of this, are actually having some meaningful and approaching healthier conversations abt their traumas and have gotten closer during them. A lot closer. Very close. And it's not an issue of monogamy; they make clear at the start with each other that this might not have any legs outside of their current situation, and they both know that Stede probably won't care, and they've both been fucking Izzy so they know he definitely doesn't care (and has told them as much more than once after noticing them Noticing each other.) Their fear is that it will, and that what they both want isn't compatible (Frenchie knows they can't sail forever, but he'd rather die at sea. Ed, after struggling with it, admits that he's still not entirely sure if land or sea is best for him. But he does feel like he has to choose one over the other.) And what the fuck are they gonna do then? Because if that's the case and it ends what they have on every level, that'll mark yet another failure for them in both of their brains, and they're both entirely too fragile for that to happen, it'll be the crack that shatters Ed and splits the Box of Trauma in Frenchie's brain even wider open. But they do have love for each other, and can't ignore that either.

14. If you could see one of your fics adapted into a visual medium, such as comic or film, which fan fic would you pick?

Oh man. I'm gonna be selfish and give myself two bc I can't decide for sure between them and the first one is entirely too selfish a choice on its own on top of that but

Dancer and/or All For Myself (even tho it isn't finished, I know, I know!!! I always want it badly to be finished. That's still my game plan for this one, I swear!)

Like, Taron probably wants nothing to do with the Kingsman stuff anymore, absolutely valid. But my god seeing Dancer as a full movie or extended series or something would be amazing. It's not everyone's cup of tea for many reasons and I understand why, but I worked so hard on that lil fucker. I'm so proud of it. It's one of the few that I think, if I got the opportunity, I could edit and change up enough to sell as just above direct to dvd level movie script. I can't describe how it felt writing it; it was a particular feeling and magic I have not recaptured since writing this fucking fic lmao (still chasing it tho!)

The second one is just because I like seeing Con and Samba together and they seem to have fun and both enjoy the concept of rizzy so like. If in some universe where incredibly unlikely things actually happen, they came to me and asked for finished script version of AFM, y'all would not see me for ages bc I would lock myself down until I had it done. I'm talking living off of red bull and edibles and whatever snacks I remember to cram in my face-fueled writing, coming out the other end in need of a shower, actual food, sleep, but holding a beautifully shining script. I've done it before, and I would happily do it again for them lol. Plus, it would involve filming locally, and I just think that would be cool to do, to showcase the area. Lots of very cool and pretty filming locations, beach days...idk, I'd be happy to come along for every day of it and just do shit to help out. Pay me if you can/want, but I'm just happy to be there to see the process.

Thank you again for asking, as you can tell I had a good time and it was lovely to get to gush abt all of this for a bit!!!

[liquidstar]

hi with this post going around i wanna copypaste some replies i left in response to another reblog too. the rebloger was saying that its also okay to enjoy problematic content (which, to be clear, i agreed with on a base level, but felt it needed more context since that can often be code for something much less nuanced)

this one should come with a bit of a disclaimer about whatever the thing youre enjoying is and in what way though. thoughtcrimes arent real, but actively choosing to watch lolicon hentai is a conscious decision. though ik thats not what youre talking abt here, i just feel like its something important to bring up, bc of how these types of discussions can get warped to mean "my frozen incest fanfiction is actually totally ok and if you disagree youre harming ppl w OCD" which i dont want the take away to be. i dont want ppl to use vague stereotypes of my disorder as a talking point to justify that kind of shit- because thats not the point and also doesnt help people with OCD at all! esp with POCD to be lumped together with... that crowed. again ik thats not what you mean im just saying it to clarify the slippery slope before someone takes it there for real! critical thought is important at all turns and such. and people with OCD are not incapable of critical thought, or understanding when media can actually be harmful in the real world. we still know how to separate the two, as should most people. that's what i mean by the response to it mattering more than the act of consuming. we might struggle a bit more with aspects of this, usually in the mental side (ruminations and obsessions) and thought crimes arent real! but actual actions are!

unfortunately, you wont actually see these replies if you check the comments (which is why i added them here). because i was blocked seconds after leaving them. apparently, even though i gave the responder the benefit of the doubt with the whole "slippery slope" of "yeah! fiction doesnt effect reality! lets all draw explicit content of children!" i checked and they... actually did in fact write what seems to be voltron pedoincest fanfiction and had "antis dni" in their bio (i missed that somehow, honestly thats on me). i think they also deleted their reblog, so i doubt people will find them. which is for the best because im not trying to get harassment sent anyones way either.

but this is still exactly what i was afraid of- our disorder being used as a talking point for the same stupid pedantic tumblr discourse that was the issue to begin with. being used as if we're not autonomous people who can make our own choices regarding media consumption, but rather an objectified hypothetical to get a moral one-upping in the black-and-white view of the outgroup. stop that shit. if youre here to do that either way YOU are part of the problem. you are not helping those with OCD this way. and the second that is pointed out you will delete the post supporting them and block the op? fuck you!

and the thing is, in terms of OCD, ANY mentality with a set of morals presented as all-or-nothing black-and-white is harmful. if youre seeing this and thinking it "dunks" on the other side of the discourse, youre missing the point. because the other side does the exact same shit. in this case, the argument with that "pro" crowed is basically "either all media depictions of xyz are good, or all media depictions of xyz are bad, and since i enjoy some depictions of xyz then they must all be good, and anyone who says otherwise is an evil anti" (aforementioned black-and-white thinking).

so with that, you posit the idea that anyone who has any sort of critical thought or issues with certain tropes of depictions of sensitive topics in any piece of media ever, must be an Evil Puritanical Conservative, ergo you have to never voice critique in media or the way it's engaged with. HOW THE FUCK IS THAT BETTER FOR PEOPLE WITH MORAL OCD? YOU ARE JUST AS BAD!!!!!!!!!!!!

dont you dare use this shit as a talking point in your pedantic discourse when the whole point of the post is THATS THE ISSUE TO BEGIN WITH! this shit is just as much the root of the problem as what i was talking about in the post. dont use this shit to outright tell us that we cant think for ourselves and have to go by your stringent unnuanced discourse as a guide. thats the issue. thats the problem i was talking about to begin with. YOU just as much are the voice of the fictional tumblr discourser inside our heads, youre just using different buzzwords. and this site continues to be awful to people with OCD. fellow OCDers do yourselves a favor and, like me, get the fuck out of these groups.

look this site really is awful for ppl with OCD so i just wanna reassure anyone that you are not Tainted Forever for consuming a piece of media with questionable content. the fact that youre able to recognize it speaks to your critical thinking skills, which is good, certain depictions should be critiqued. but you dont need to ruminate on it to the point where you begin to feel guilty for simply witnessing gross or creepy writing choices. you dont have to vindicate yourself to the fictional tumblr discourser inside your head, saying that youre now a bad person bc you watched the wrong anime. your actual response to it still matters of course, but thats that and this is this. just seeing it is neutral, you didnt commit a thought crime. its literally fine.

[throne-for-queens]

I know it’s not a realistic expectation so apologies for that in advance , but I truly wish you would vet ppl making false claims on here either maybe knowingly to get a reaction outta you or unknowingly in which case they need to be more careful.

I think the anon is referring to that ig live probably in 2021. It was basically Colson saying him and Megan were considering having a pet and more specifically a giant bunny. He then jokingly said he wanted a dragon but Megan won’t let him have it and asked her to explain why to which she responded it’s bc they are mythological creatures who have not been seen in many years lol.. sadly as always some ppl want to twist facts to somehow beat her down even when she’s mostly stayed away from everyone and everything for months now. Give her a break and maybe enjoy what he’s been doing..

As for the proof pls check 27 second mark of the video:

https://youtu.be/A9U7HEElvWk?si=tp8H5vOSI4lyYrX3

Also don’t know about some ppl, but Halloween is really not to be taken too seriously as a testament for someone’s moral compass. Colson is friends with Tommy & I am pretty sure Megan’s a big fan of Pam at this point and has been channelling Pams style over the years from her hats to her dress & hairstyle. I think except for a few overthinking individuals nobody took offence. Vogue even called them the best dressed couple of that night. Also not sure why that’s a topic of discussion suddenly. I guess it’s anything to bash her at this point.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and the evidence behind your perspective. I do recall the live event, but I may not have been fully engaged to remember all the details. I encourage everyone to reflect similarly, whether in support of Megan, another individual, or simply to shed light on a situation.

I don't believe Colson took her words as law when she mentioned dragons, perhaps words in passing since he got a dragon tattoo anyway. Colson has always been very expressive with his body ink and I don't think anyone, not even Megan, can change that. They're a couple at the end of the day so they have frivolous conversations like the rest of us.

With October here, it’s understandable that interest in Halloween costumes is rising. However, even though Megan acknowledged Pamela as a style icon, I feel a sense of protectiveness towards Pam after watching her documentary. I believe those who chose to dress as her did not mean any harm, but despite the celebration of the costume by Tommy and Vogue, I can sense that it causes Pam pain. That’s why I don’t find joy in seeing anyone, including Colson and Megan, portray her. I truly wish they could connect with Pam on a personal level; I think Megan would discover many relatable aspects of her story. While Pamela still has love for Tommy, it brings back painful memories and seems to overshadow the reality of their relationship, which was marked by abuse. I just can’t see that costume as something entertaining since I now know how she feels.

Sidebar: if anyone wants to learn more about Pamela I suggest you read her memoir or watch her Netflix documentary if you're able.

[deer-trees]

Been thinking abt the Addams kids slowly growing up so here are some Thoughts.

-Pugsley grows a mullet at around age 16. Wednesday very nearly shaves it off in his sleep several times.

-Once they're old enough to drive, both kids travel around town on a loud black motorcycle. People tend to think it's Pugsley's, but it belongs to Wednesday and she's kind enough to let him sit on the back.

-Pugsley did have a motorcycle of his own at one point, but he purposefully crashed it into several police cars. It's beyond broken now and his license is suspended but it was worth it.

-Upon realizing she's a lesbian, Wednesday accumulates so many cool goth girlfriends that the family cannot keep track. She soon has a polycule of like six different girls who all adore her. They do seances together.

-After several months of mutual flirting without either girl making a move, Wednesday asks her soon-to-be first girlfriend out on a coffee date. The girl is already drinking a soda, so she blushes and declines politely. Wednesday informs her that an activated charcoal latte would be a wonderful antidote for the poison she planted in her soda, so they might as well go on the date before it kills her in thirty minutes. Since Wednesday is definitely her type, the girl finds this incredibly romantic. They went on the date, flushed out the poison, and have now been happily together for a full year.

-Pugsley realizes he is also gay (which is when Wednesday forgives him for the mullet) and has one very loving punk anarchist boyfriend.

-To impress said boyfriend, Pugsley once claimed to be President of ANTIFA. This lie evolved into him literally becoming an antifascist revolutionary as a teen who threw explosives into the houses of white supremacists. The whole family was very proud, as was his boyfriend.

-Pubert realizes they are nonbinary at around age nine and decides to change their name and pronouns. They introduce the family to the concept of a deadname, and everyone is incredibly excited to have a celebratory funeral slash gender reveal party in which they drop their birth certificate into an open grave full of black smoke bombs. (Not a boy, not a girl, it's an Addams!)

-Once the funeral is over, Pubert goes by Pulsatilla. The name was inspired by pulsatilla vulgaris, a poisonus purple flower that Morticia grows in her garden. Wednesday and Pugsley, though now college aged, attended the funeral and also made time to play Beheading of Marie Antoinette with them afterwards. It's now their favorite game because they get to commit treason and wear a frilly dress.

[batfamtv]

Hi so can I request for a Basilio and/or Crispin x reader please? Like maybe how they met or something, platonic or romantic, either is fine. Thanks!

gif credits (@overlordofawesomeness) see their post here

how they met you headcanons: crispin, basilio (trese)

a/n: no specific ethnicity for the reader, but it is mostly assumed that the reader is of pinoy descent; I hope you all enjoy this, pls don't hesitate to add more! <3

crispin

okay so i imagine that mr. more-serious-than-his-younger-brother crispin has not really grown up to be a hopeless romantic

didn’t date, didn’t think that love is real (“it’s cheesy”/“baduy naman”), so finding his one true love hit him like a ton of bricks

sees you for the first time while working on a case with bossing, you live next to the house of the victims

really found you cute, but he didn’t get the chance to approach you because you had slammed the gates closed in front of him

he sees you again completely by accident during another case, and crispin was so surprised and thankful

he keeps trying to make eye contact with you, while you are trying not to make eye contact with the tall, muscular man who is wearing a dark suit

he finally asks you out, and you at first freak out, somehow convinced that this man is a part of a gang or is some scary rich dude who is the future ceo of his dad’s company or something

to your surprise, he picks you up (still dressed in a suit) but brings you to a small family restaurant--almost a carenderia

it is so amusing to find him so overdressed during the date, but it is a nice dinner and you two have fun talking and getting to know each other

he is so cute when asking if you wanted to hang out again, and when you say yes, he smiles so brightly

you get streetfood the next time you hang out!

at this point, crispin kinda already knows about your life story, but you still dont know his

he seems to be a little closed off about the topic, but you dont push him

crispin is gone from time to time, only texting you sporadically, but you dont question it even though you are curious, because you trust him and you may be just a tiny lil bit infatuated

when he does tell you everything about him, he prefaces it so seriously and grimly that you think he will say he doesn't want to see you anymore

instead, he sullenly tells you about his life, ending with an apology for not telling you sooner

"i was just so scared you would run away"

you tell him that you wont run away and surprise him when you throw your arms around him and kiss him

he is honestly so whipped for you oh my god

if crispin is free, he will always drop you off and pick you up from school/work

he brings you to meet his family, basilio, alexandra, hank

they accept you as part of the family, and you immerse yourself in their library, reading up information about their lives

whenever they finish a case, you would be there, having cooked nice, warm meals for them

crispin would come up behind you and wrap his arms around your waist, resting his chin on your shoulder

he would whisper, "thank you for taking care of us" and presses kisses on your cheek down to your neck

you dont go out with them on a case, even if you want to (you and crispin fight over this, but he simply insists that he cannot lose you or even see you hurt)

he keeps his words of affirmation and affections as private as possible

basilio and hank tease him a lot if he tries to show any affection towards you with them present, and it bothers him at first

but you just laugh it off, ignoring the "uyyy" and other teasing remarks

basilio laughs when he sees his twin relaxing against you on the couch, crispin's head laid on your lap, "who's cheesy now?"

to this, crispin laughs before looking up at you and kissing your hand

he whispers "i love you against your skin"

i would say that compared to basilio and his s/o's relationship, your relationship with crispin is a lot more serious, more mature

kinda have the husband-and-wife vibe even though you aren't married yet (but you both know that this will happen eventually)

crispin knows that you are the one, and is hell bent on keeping you happy and safe

secretly looks up "perfect proposal ideas" when he realizes one night just how much he loves you

always has you in his arms when you're asleep, the sound of your heartbeat, and the feeling of your breath against his skin reminding him just what he is fighting and living for

he is fighting and living for you, and the future you two are going to share

basilio

the younger and more mischievous of the two, it didn't surprise everyone that basilio is the last person to realize his love for you

he met you shortly after being adopted by carlos trese, you were a family friend and possibly another babaylan from another city/province

came to the treses for a visit and was surprised to see new members of the family

you bonded with the twins almost instantaneously, becoming best friends with them

although everyone could see that you were closer to basilio than you were to crispin, mostly because of basilio's more laid back personality

absolutely thick as thieves with him, to a point where crispin would sulk and complain that you were stealing his lil brother from him

you would all play games until you were downright exhausted, from playing house, hide-and-seek, patintero (you try not to play catch with them bc you know they're gonna use their powers anyway) and the sad days were when you had to leave

you once had a tantrum as you clung to basilio, begging him to hide you from your parents so that they wouldn't bring you home

crispin and Alexandra had to pry you away from him, and he didn't talk to them for like 2 days after you left

as you two grew older, the games lessened and you focused more on training and battle strategies

but the closeness never left

you also kinda know that basilio cares for you, and to be honest, you wouldn't say no if he ever asks you out, but he never did and that's ok

outside of his family, you are his best friend and he loves you just as much as he loves his brother and sister

but it was obvious to alexandra and crispin that when you got older, something changed in the way basilio looked at you

he kinda looks at you just a little bit longer than usual, simple touches linger here and there, the slight overprotectiveness, the little acts of love

he brings you food ("we stopped by the carenderia and they had your favorite ulam")

brings you flowers ("where did you find these arabian jasmines/sampaguita?" basilio shrugs, "bought them on the way home." "he plucked them from aling josie's garden," Alexandra tells you as she walks past the two of you)

crispin tries to tell basilio that he should definitely ask you out, because it's so clearly obvious that you both like each other, but basilio tries to deny it

"torete ka bro, please just go ahead and tell her how you feel"

and basilio kinda sits on the idea, like literally has an existential crisis trying to figure out if he loves you romantically or just platonically

so he tries to imagine his future

he doesn't think much of it, thinking that this world is going to consume him long before he would have the chance to build a life anyway, but amidst the thought of death, he sees something

just a flash of light and sounds of laughter

it's you, carrying a young girl as you smile at him, standing just in front of the gate

and basilio thinks, that's such a nice vision, coming home to you

whenever he thinks of possibly settling down and having a family, it has always been with you

it has always been with you since you were kids, and now it's still you

so when he tells you he loves you during the most inappropriate time (fighting off aswang kidnappers), you grin at him and yell "I love you too!" back

and he removes his mask for a second before clarifying, "no y/n, I am in love with you!"

you grin at him again before exclaiming, "I know! i loved you since we were like 10"

after the fight, he doesn't hesitate to bring you into his arms and kiss you

you kissed his cheek when you were kissed, absolutely out of curiosity, and you were both like "ewww that's gross" but now it's not

it was perfect, like it was meant to be

unlike crispin and his s/o, you two are pretty chill about your relationship, kinda lowkey with it too

you don't talk about marriage (yet), and ppl who see you just think you two are either together, or just very best friends

you two are comfortable with each other and know each other from the inside out

the times where his cheerful personality changes is when it involves your safety, then he becomes so much like his brother, stoic and almost scary

will not ever compromise your safety over anything

basilio grew up with you, and now he plans to grow old with you

[ourflagmeansgayrights]

found this in my drafts and i can’t remember what my point was here or if i was gonna add anything else to this. but i agree with everything i wrote so i’m just releasing it into the wild as-is

tangentially related to the first paragraph of this post only: the fact that there are little hints of a traumatic backstory for jack that make it possible to read him somewhat sympathetically (somewhat. he’s still a huge asshole lol) while there isn’t any canonical evidence of anything sympathetic abt izzy in s1 unless u personally rlly relate to being a mean manager or to handling getting friendzoned very badly is actually one of the main reasons why i am always wildly surprised when ppl say jack and izzy are equally shitty characters (don’t even get me started on when ppl think jack is somehow worse. insane take). other reasons are basically variations of “we see other characters enjoy jack’s presence at some point, something that literally nobody in s1 does with izzy.” like the big one is ed obviously, ed clearly likes jack and likes having fun with jack (at least in small doses lol) which is something we never see with izzy, in fact every time it looks like ed is having too much fun in izzy’s presence izzy tries very hard to make that stop. but also the crew think jack’s cool at first, which is a sentiment we never see literally any of them have about izzy. like jack is a piece of shit but he at least has the ability to be fun, something that s1 izzy is physically incapable of and is in fact something that i think the show is aware of. ofmd is very Pro Fun and supports getting silly, obviously the narrative also shows us that jack’s brand of fun runs sour when there isn’t respect for each other and no room to be vulnerable. but the characters in ofmd talk abt torturing ppl and getting tortured themselves as fun activities they enjoy doing and the show is not like “this is a bad thing” so i seriously doubt the show was trying to say “jumping off tall heights is a bad thing” or “blowing up random inanimate object is a bad thing” or “drinking and partying is a bad thing,” imo the show was saying “when the environment does not allow for people to pass on these activities without shame and mockery, that’s a bad thing.” and also “be careful with the things people care about. like their birds. take risks with your own life or with the lives of british ppl ur holding hostage if u want but for the love of god don’t put ppl’s birds at risk.”

but back to the sympathy thing. like we get absolutely nothing abt izzy’s backstory aside from “worked for ed for years,” and then little characterization details like “regularly pulls fang’s beard, which fang hates” and “seems to be really exhausted and easily frustrated by ed,” and then his two motivations throughout the season are the textual “wants stede to be dead so ed will retire and then izzy gets to be the guy in charge (until the end of e9 when he realizes he’s not good enough to be in charge so he needs ed to keep being scary blackbeard so he gets to keep that proximity to power)” and the more subtextual “has the hots for ed,” and the first one is not sympathetic bc “guy who who craves power and is a dick about it” is a pretty universally hated type of guy, and the second one is not sympathetic bc if izzy did All That in s1 bc he’s in unrequited “love” for ed then that’s some fatal attraction incel bullshit TeeBeeEych. all of this makes izzy a great character and an insane little freak to rotate in my mind palace on occasion but it does not make me sympathetic to him in the slightest. and then the only other ways to read izzy sympathetically in s1 are to 1. make up a bunch of bullshit (example: izzy and ed are actually literally married and are in their divorce era and ed is leaving izzy for a new man, which actually just reads like more fatal attraction shit to me but anyway) or to 2. take izzy at his word that he’s the only one keeping this operation together and everyone else needs to stop goofing off and being silly and take this shit seriously (which is actively reading against the text bc ofmd as a show is vehemently opposed to the idea that ppl need to stop being silly and take work seriously, which is a stance i don’t actually 100% agree with irl but like i’m not gonna get mad at a tv show for not having the same exact life philosophies as me)

(also i’m not just saying izzy is unsympathetic in s1 bc i personally dislike him, i truly believe the writers thought so too and i say this bc of how they went about redeeming izzy in s2. bc by mid s2 the narrative is pretty clear that izzy is A Fully Changed Man now and the rest of what he does in the season is just a bunch of stuff to directly contrast with the shitty stuff he did last season. zero character development actually happens past like episode 4 or 5. and we never actually got an arc abt why izzy suddenly grew as a person bc they didn’t have the time or they didn’t care enough abt izzy to make the time for it. what we got instead was putting izzy in the narrative torment nexus. instead of getting an actual redemption arc abt learning that what he did was wrong, and instead of building on literally any of the character traits or backstory details izzy might’ve had in s1, the writers just put izzy through physical hell to make us feel bad for him now bc there was nothing from s1 they could spin sympathetically. it’s honestly kinda weak writing and i remember thinking this when game of thrones did the same thing to that one guy theon or whoever. however unlike game of thrones i think it’s funny that ofmd speedran an izzy redemption arc. the did it bc he was just not important enough to prioritize that much screentime to and i respect it)

calico jack sympathy is a very rich vein for emotional ed whump btw. not saying anyone needs to sympathize with jack at all bc he DOES suck and personally idc enough abt jack to sympathize with him for his own sake, but there is actually textual support for a sympathetic cj read. canonically he has the same traumatic pirate background as ed and the two of them went through a rlly rough time together. we have direct support from the show that jack’s rejection of anything “soft” or “weak” comes from hornigold—the very first mention of hornigold in the entire show is when jack sees the breakfast table set for ed and stede and starts teasing ed for it with “just the two of you? hornigold would shit himself.” plus ed tells stede “jack’s always been emotional” and “he can come on a bit strong but he’s insecure” which strongly implies that ed has seen a side of jack that we don’t get to see in the one episode where he shows up. it’s a side that very well might be completely gone now that jack’s a grown adult man but to me it runs counter to the text to claim that ed’s assessment of jack is completely wrong and this vulnerable side of jack never existed in the first place.

so anyway one possible angle here for sympathizing with jack as a vessel for whumping poor ed’s heart is the tragedy of two kids going through something awful together and not being able to count on each other during the whole experience. being trapped in a physically and emotionally abusive environment together and empathizing when the captain singles one of them out bc they know firsthand what it feels like to be on the receiving end of hornigold’s ire, but at the same time they’re not able to ask each other for support bc what if they use that vulnerability, that plea for comfort, as a weapon against you? what if you try to offer them support and comfort and they push you away? what if, when you DO rely on each other for support, your captain sees that bond and uses it to torture you both even further?

and what do you do if you both comfort each other, you both take care of each other, and then one of you fucking dies? because that’s how it goes—most of the pirates ed knows are dead, a pirate’s life is short but nice, the only retirement they get is death, you’re not likely to avoid near-death experiences in their line of work, heading towards a raid with the one hope being that a certain death ain’t slow. and it’s not just raids, either: your captain might have you keelhauled for a minor offense, might starve you for a week if you laugh at him during a speech, might feed you a live crab for nicking some rations, or maybe a disagreement with another crew member could turn into bloodshed. maybe someone will push you overboard for shits and giggles. what do you if you’ve found comfort with a crewmate, and then that crewmate dies? how do you cope? you’re probably better off not letting yourself care for anyone, rejecting people’s pleas for support or intimacy or friendship, because it’ll hurt less when they inevitably end up dying horrifically just like everyone else you’ve ever cared about.

and then the other big ed whump angle here is watching someone you experienced horrific trauma with not only fail to process the trauma in a healthy way but also become a worse person as a result of it. like ed knowing firsthand just how awful everything jack experienced was and remembering exactly what it looked like every time hornigold beat the spirit out of jack when he was ultimately just a vulnerable kid. ed hearing jack say some toxic macho bullshit and knowing exactly where jack learned that and how much it hurt for 20-something-year-old jack to absorb that lesson—and more than that, ed remembering when he used to believe that exact sort of toxic shit. and ed feeling like he can’t hold it against jack if he doesn’t grow bc he sees so many similarities between him and jack, and the only reason he was able to heal and become a better person is bc he met stede—and it’s not like stede was the only person in the whole world ed could’ve connected with, he had an entire ship full of kindhearted doofuses ready to offer him emotional support and he betrayed all of them because the recent back-to-back backstabbing compounded on a lifetime of trauma and made it impossible for ed to trust them. how can ed blame jack for rejecting opportunities to heal when ed did the same thing? when he can remember watching firsthand as years of abuse caused jack to gradually close himself off, the worst part of it being that it was like watching his own reflection as he also hardened under the pressure of just trying to survive another fucking day? how can ed judge jack, when jack is who he might’ve been if he’d never met stede?

[1eos]

hi kendra! this might be super random so you can ignore but im curious about buying a vibratr and i have no experience with any.. maybe you have recommendations??? GSJSG sorry again if its uncomfortable or stupid to ask. barely have friends and they're weird when talking about sex and stuff. also i remembered you used to talk abt an hitachi wand so i was like hey maybe ill ask. hope you're doing well. take care <3 (also sorry if my english is bad)

oh don’t worry i don’t mind! in another life i am running a vibrator review blog. so the one thing i always recc is this giant hitachi wand from aliexpress. i wouldn’t recommend getting all your vibrators from there bc shipping takes forever and quality can be hit or miss but i got this myself and other ppl have bought it per my recommendation and they had good experiences too

HITACHI WAND LINK

so beyond that i am gonna be linking from amazon unfortunately. it sucks but a lot of independent companies have given up their sites to just host on amazon 😞and i’ve had bad experiences with adam&eve so i don’t shop there 😔😔😔and where i live local sex shops are overpriced and understocked so im sorry to be a cog in the wheel here. i at least choose delayed shipping!!! anyways some faves of varying styles that i think a beginner could enjoy. nothing too complicated or big

finger vibrator. a classic a classic

butterfly wearable thing. very fun.

this weird looking vibrator. had issues w the charging port but they seemed to be upgraded and otherwise it was v nice

babies first vibrating dildo. she runs on batteries but somehow was of better quality than some of the fancy ones ive bought

oh and this rabbit one......she was my best friend for many moons

and some general tips in my experience:

the thruster vibrators are overpriced and don’t feel like anything. don’t be seduced by their claims.

get a good toy cleaner esp for anything you’re gonna insert to avoid utis. i use the cake brand foam cleaner that you can get a some chain stores but you can shop around and see what you like

ummmmmmmmm label your cords LOL

oh and waterproof toys will always be more expensive but its worth to pay that extra $10-$20 bc you’re gonna get more longevity! and they tend to be built better a lot of my old battery operated toys would just break out the blue if they get ANY water near them

hope this helps!